《Summon Perfect Warlady (Youjo Senki/Erfworld)》 Chapter 1 Most people would assume that the eight year old girl, an orphan that decided to volunteer for the military in order to seek her fortune as an aerial mage, would be terrified. That she would dread her destination as entered the military recruitment station in her white dress, for she was signing up to possibly fight and die in battle for honor and glory, which were not generally considered something little girls desired. Most little girls were not Tanya Degurechaff. The reincarnation of a fully grown man, punished for the crime of mouthing off at a divine being by reincarnating without forgetting their past life, while also being placed in a cursed life in order to enkindle faith in the man. Despite the fact that he never actually voiced that unflattering opinion until the being had already read his mind and got offended about them. Im here to register for the military. Here are my papers. Tanya was fairly confident they could manage military service, if they were an officer. They had a lifetime of wargaming, and a keen interest in military history. This world had an odd timeline, as despite the fact that it was the 1920s, World War I hasnt happened. Or rather, hasnt happened yet. So their encyclopedic knowledge of the first two World Wars, if applied intelligently, should be able to provide them a significant advantage in strategic and tactical knowledge in comparison to their nominal peers in officers school. Maybe they could invent a wargame, and thus set up a potentially lucrative business after the war? They certainly had a lot more experience with those than any real military experience; While it was possible to obtain a gun license in Japan, it was difficult, so they had extremely limited experience with firearms, beyond first-person shooters. Ah, thoughts for later. ...Really? Asked the recruitment officer dumbly. If one was to put a word to the emotion they were feeling at the recruitment station, it would be frustration. Sure, they knew they would have to struggle with getting taken seriously as a little girl, but they, apparently, underestimated the degree of difficulty. Yes. They said to the recruiter as he questioned her resolve. The man, rotund with his black hair styled in a way that Tanya was fairly certain was not permissible in military regulations, just shy of a pompadour, really, looked at her application again. Her official mage testing paperwork was attached, including the notice of registration for conscription. Why? He asked, uncomprehending of the picture in front of him. Tanya bet hed be eagerly processing it if they were as tall as they used to be. No one ever disrespected someone who was nearly two meters tall so blatantly. Damn Being X and him making them so short. There are no other paths available. Tanya explained. ...But this doesnt mean you have to sign up right away. The recruiter said needlessly. Tanya glared at the man, channeling the same gaze they used in their last life. This gaze had cowed delinquents from picking fights, and miscreants who had violated some workplace regulation or another and felt like trying to intimidate them. It seemed to startle the recruiter, but it did not last. Damn Being X. Conscripts cannot become officers. Tanya explained slowly, so he could follow basic logic. Therefore, I must volunteer. Public education is inadequate to prepare me for this, so the sooner, the better. The official position on mages in the military, signed by the Kaiser himself, is that there is to be no minimum age for their service. Therefore do your job. Tanya was beginning to think the man was drunk, given that vacant stare. You realize youll need to pass basic training, right? Marching, carrying weapons, all that? Thats it. I. Know. Tanya said through gritted teeth. This damn bureaucrat. Damn Being X. I will have to use my wits and sheer guts to grit through whatever trials you put before your prospective officers. At least, the ones who dont have some titled ponce of a parent greasing the wheels until they glide smoother than anything youve ever accomplished without liters of lube. I will sharpen the human knives of the Empire, and turn them against the Kaisers enemies. I will personally kill as many foreigners as required to be taken seriously. They may have been a bit too honest there. Tanya took a deep breath, and cleared her throat. If I could become an officer right now, by snapping my fingers? She said rhetorically, preparing to do just that. Leave everything behind me, and deal with things like a General? With maps, figures, and logistics? I would. But thats just not the world we live in. I stand here with nothing, no backing, no title I know about, no history. I have to build up respect the old fashioned way. Thus, do your job, for there are no other paths before me but war. The recruiter still hesitated. Tanya had predicted that their best chance was when there was only one recruiter at the station, with the rest having gone to lunch. That gamble had clearly failed. What do you want? They shouted, incredulous. What a slacker! Do you want me to say I wish to be a princess? Like a normal little girl? That would certainly be a step up from here! If this were a world where I could snap my fingers and become a princess, or a military officer, I would. But I am a mage, and the Empires stance on mages is that they must become soldiers. If not willingly, they are damned to become conscripts, which is worse. She brought up her fingers again. See? Ill test it. Ill snap my fingers and all of those things will come true. Goodbye, see you never. She snapped her fingers. PLOT! After staring at the location where the little girl used to be for two minutes, the recruiter immediately took out a beer stein from beneath the desk and drank deeply out of it. ------------------------------- This was absolute bullshit. Snapping their fingers wasnt supposed to actually do anything Damn you, Being X. They heard a faint voice, high-pitched yet masculine, that spoke with a distinct American accent. Okay, I want them to be terrifying. Someone who can glare with menace! Anyone who sees them, commanding the battle, should be terrified that this is the one who is croaking them! What? Tanya couldnt make sense of their surroundings, as they warped and twisted in a way that escapes their comprehension. It was a colorful tunnel of some kind? Something youd see in a sci-fi setting, or something where the protagonists get sucked into a computer, like Digimon. She couldnt feel anything, or smell, or even hear, only her vision provided her any stimulus at all. A more feminine voice replied to the command: I thought we agreed that we were seeking the perfect military mind. A strategic genius, not some terror weapon. I want that too! The first voice replied. I want them to know all about war! Someone who plans wars for fun! Even the boring stuff. Especially the boring stuff! Were they talking about Tanya? One one hand, it only vaguely describes them, and rather unflatteringly at that. But why else could they hear this? Also, the male voice added. I know the spell will bind them to serve me, It will WHAT? ...but I dont want a morale case. Bring me someone who wants to be summoned, who wants to lead armies and wont be squeamish at croaking. Ah. They were describing Tanya. This was some kind of summoning into another world situation. The only question was, how likely was it that this would be even worse than signing up for the Imperial military as an aerial mage? And dont forget the basics. The male voice continued. They have to speak Language, breathe the air and things. That was actually rather considerate of him to specify, if they were doing something where that could not necessarily be the case. If they have a cool special, make sure it works here. I am not a Findamancer! The woman shouted back, strained. I was looking for a mind! All of these physical requirements are too much! Oh all right. The male voice said petulantly. Find your genius. Just make them scary. Can you do that much, Commander? Thank you, Lord. The woman replied, relieved. I have them. At that, Tanya felt acceleration, enough that they feared for their safety if they hit something. Okay, their sense of balance was working, too. Isekai! POP! All of Tanyas normal senses were restored to them as they crashed to the floor. Their head was swimming, stabbing pains preventing them from standing and providing a good impression on what was probably their new boss. As horrible as everything was it might leave them in a better position than the Imperial Military. Theyll just have to see. Besides, this doesnt make any sense if it was Being Xs handiwork, so perhaps hes not involved? What? Wanda, shes tiny! You screwed it up! The male voice, now much clearer, complained. Tanyas headache spiked at the words, the noise not helping one bit. I cant even see her points! Tanya stood up to her full, unimpressive height. This would be no different than going to work with a hangover. Easily accomplished. They gave their best glare to the man, promising him pain if he doesnt shut up. He wanted scary? Explain. She commanded. It seemed to work approximately as intended, as the man flinched back, who Tanya could now see wasnt much taller than they were, despite clearly being middle-aged. What in the world? The woman, who was taller but still quite short, Warlady. You have been summoned to serve Lord Stanley the Plaid, and lead his armies to victory. Well, that first word was clearly a title. They wont dispute it. Also, the Plaid? He wasnt wearing any. Youre telling me this dud-wearing waif has led battles? Stanley asked, incensed. He pointed to Tanya. You! How many battles have you led? Before they could think of a diplomatic way to burnish their resume, Tanyas mouth immediately replied with the truth: Never personally. Have you ever croaked anything? Ever? He asked next. For some reason, Tanya immediately intuited croak as a synonym for kill. It must be some kind of translation magic in play. Just as obviously, things like insects did not count. Just like before, Tanyas mouth spoke the unvarnished truth before they could think better of it. No. This was bad. Despite his stature, Tanya knew this man was dangerous. They suspected that if he had to count the number of things hes killed he would have long lost count. What do you have!? Stanley shouted. Im a mage. Tanya replied, quickly seizing on the opportunity to sell themselves. The headache ebbed as they followed Stanleys order willingly. I have an extensive knowledge base of military history and tactics. Im a quick study, and Ill ki- croak anyone you want croaked. That immediate response thing was likely the mind control that was mentioned. So promising that doesnt mean anything, as theyd probably do it anyway. Damn this man, even Being X didnt resort to that. ...WANDA! He shouted at the woman, who was staring wide-eyed at Tanya after their declaration. You summoned me a caster? I could have hired fifty casters for how much money I spent on this useless spell! I need a Warlord! If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. What kind of caster are you? Wanda asked. What spells do you know? As Chief Caster of Gobwin Knob, I need to know these things. Uh oh. Admitting ignorance here would be the absolute worst idea. What does an Aerial mage actually do? Besides fly? Claiming they can fly without being able to would be a fools errand, to be sure. What level of technology do they have? Answer the question, caster. Stanley ordered. As before, Tanyas mouth immediately betrayed them. I dont know. What do you mean you dont know? Stanley said, even angrier. When did you pop that you dont know what kind of caster you are? Once more, Tanya had to rely on the curious translation magic to divine the answer to his question. Pop means It was a surprisingly complex concept. But the most accurate answer is Just now. They said. They had just arrived in this world for the first time with a popping noise, and that was about eighty percent of the meaning right there. They couldnt calculate their exact age anyway, so they ended up discarding the how old are you context to the question. Stanleys anger exploded at Wanda. You summoned me a freshly-popped caster? Youre useless! She doesnt have anything! No leadership, no specials, tiny scraps of juice, the spell was supposed to Summon a Warlord! So we could promote her to Chief Warlord! He glared dismissively at Tanya again. Well, if the spell says youre a warlady, Ill just have to promote you to Chief Warlord. Chiefly because we dont have anyone else. He grinned at his little pun. Tanya felt something. An expansion of their senses? Some kind of presence, but it was them? Stanley and Wanda were both staring at Tanya in shock. Wanda spoke first. A caster with Leadership. She said, with a voice laced with awe. A warlord with casting Stanley said, a grin creeping on his face before it vanished. A level 1 warlord with casting. He corrected, chagrined, before sighing. Wanda, make sure this tiny impossibility knows whats going on. Ill handle the rest of the turn myself. He stormed off, grumbling to himself. Wanda sighed. Fates whims are inscrutable as always. She said to herself. Turning to Tanya, she asked: What is your name, caster? I am Wanda Firebaugh, Chief Croakamancer of Gobwin Knob. Tanya Degurechaff. Tanya replied. Being X scrubbed their old name from their memory as part of the reborn a woman curse, so its not like they could change it. Also, do you have a spell for headaches? Healing magic would be so useful right about now. Yes. Wanda replied, before immediately dashing Tanyas hopes. Oh, you mean, to cure one? If I had that, Id never stop casting it. Boop. Tanya said, rubbing their temples. Wait. Boop? I cant say boop? Well, a natural censorship filter was not one of the things Tanya thought theyd be inflicted with. Well, theyre not one for cursing much, so theyll just have to live with it. Also, test the limits of it later. They just realized everyone was speaking English, but despite not having had cause to use that knowledge for years, it was just as natural as German or Japanese. So speaking in other languages might not even work. Right. Wanda said slowly, before changing the subject. So you know you are a caster, but know no magic? She asked, to confirm. Tanya nodded. Thats correct. I was tested for magical potential, but did not yet receive any training. Wandas face twisted into a strange expression. You have memories of what happened before you popped? She asked. Drat. Tanya was nothing if not a quick thinker, however. Just answer confidently. Correct. My pre-pop education was unfinished, so I may require information on things you may consider basic knowledge, particularly on any magical subjects. Hopefully they phrased that in a way that made sense. Wanda stared at Tanya, probably attempting to intimidate them. She had a self-assured stance that knew that she was the deadliest one in the room, but Tanya knew her weakness: Stanley had her in his thrall as well. Tanya didnt have any concrete information to this effect, but it made sense: Wanda seemed to loathe the man, but still did whatever he said, and even called him My Lord. So Tanya stood their ground. They werent entirely sure what level of authority being promoted to Chief Warlord granted them, but given that her title was Chief Caster, Tanya imagined that they were officially peers. In fact could she give orders on Stanleys authority? Does the mind control Wanda (and Tanya) suffer under extend that far? Explain the various classifications of caster. Tanya commanded. They felt something as they focused on Stanleys authority and her status as Chief Warlord as they sent the orders. Wanda scowled, but opened her mouth and obeyed Tanyas orders: There are three elements: Matter, Motion, and Life. Each combination of these, eight in total, Which meant that none of them was a valid category. -constitutes the magical schools. Each school is further divided into three disciplines, with the axis of Erf, Fate, and Numbers dividing each one. Tanya smiled. They can work with this. You say your discipline is Croakamancy? Describe its components on that scale, and the typical services you provide Gobwin Knob with that magic. Wandas scowl deepened. Croakamancy is Naughtymancy on the Fate axis. Naughtymancy uses the elements of Motion and Matter. The typical spells are the reanimation of uncroaked units from the bodies of croaked living units She pointed at Tanya. Now stop giving me orders or I will make you regret it. Ah, they had perhaps overstepped. Still, Tanya wont show weakness to this woman. Then perhaps you should follow Lord Stanleys orders and appraise me of the current state of Gobwin Knob? Tanya tried to specifically avoid the mindset that allowed them to invoke Wandas mental leash. It seemed to work, it didnt feel like it did anything like that. Wanda hummed. Well, the first thing you should know is that we have only the one city left, the capital of Gobwin Knob Gobwin Knob. Tanya nodded along. In a few turns, a few what. We will be besieged by the Royal Crown Coalition, an alliance of Royal Sides with the express purpose of croaking Lord Stanley and ending our side. They outnumber us twenty-five to one. Tanya was beginning to understand why Lord Stanely decided to gamble on an apparently expensive spell called Summon Perfect Warlord. How are our defenses? What are our strongest offensive assets? Do we have air power? Tanya asked. Wanda sighed, but answered anyway, turning to leave and gesturing for Tanya to follow. We are a level five city, What? With a full complement of garrison units, and additional defenses, both natural and created, to make this one of the most fortified cities in the known world. She said. It is not enough to win against those numbers. Moving on to the next question, she added: Both of your other questions have the same answer. Tanya likes the sound of that. Lord Stanleys arkenhammer is capable of taming Dwagons without fail, and we have popped a fair complement of them as well. We have forty-six, as of this morning. That did sound fantastic, but should they just assume that dwagons are dragons? Oddly, the names of creatures didnt have that mystical translation attached, clarifying unspoken points. Theyre big, scary, and fly, so even if they arent, theyre close enough. Asymmetric warfare with the dwagons will be our best bet to winnow the enemys strength. What of our intelligence? Do we have knowledge of the enemy composition? Youll need to ask the Eyemancers for specifics. Wanda said. But we know everything about their unit composition and positioning, as well as the terrain. Their intelligence is much more limited. Perfect. Tanya said, with a grin. Asymmetric warfare demands the exploitation of every advantage possible, and intelligence superiority, combined with air superiority? Thats a good one. This sounded like a difficult scenario, but still potentially survivable. The most important thing was preserving their own life, of course, but it would leave a bad taste in their mouth if they failed in their duties, no matter how involuntary it was. They signed up for a life of violence in the short term, so whether it was the Empire or this Gobwin Knob didnt really matter, did it? ------------------------ Wanda had assigned a tall fat man with one eye (as in, he was a cyclops, not missing an eye) by the name of Bogroll to be Tanyas lackey, and commanded another caster, Sizemore, a Dirtamancer (Erf axis of Stuffamancy, which is the magic of Matter), to educate Tanya in all possible matters, after she received news of a prisoner, presumably having left to torture the poor sap. The man was something of an academic, apparently. He was also rather insightful, as he had more or less immediately figured out that Tanya had no idea how this world conducted war. Fortunately, he was also a bleeding heart with the soul of a teacher, as he immediately set about educating Tanya in these deficiencies with a compassionate smile and a promise to keep their ignorance a secret. It wasnt all good though, he was something of a peaceful soul who was inordinately pleased when he heard that Tanya had never croaked a unit. Ordinarily, this would be commendable. But here, it marked him as a bit of a nail that needed hammering down. Such an ill fit it was a shame Tanya couldnt fire him and replace him with someone more suitable, but theyll just have to manipulate and manage the subject matter expert. It hasnt been that long since theyve had to turn some executives engineer son into something resembling productive. The necessity of this is paramount, particularly given the bonus casters can provide golem-type units, so sending him into battle with his rock and metal golems will not be avoidable. Even that much assumes that he wont be equally disturbed on setting up additional magical defenses in the underground and more directly kill invaders. Apparently, this world was essentially a wargame. Wars were conducted between sides, headed by a Ruler, who was responsible for the economic aspects of the side, while the actual war strategy and administration was instead handled by the Chief Warlord. Tanya was the only living warlord on the side, with all the rest being uncroaked, unable to do much more than provide a passive bonus with their Leadership and echo the orders of more intelligent commanders to their stacks. Stanley used to be the Chief Warlord of Gobwin Knob, so that lifted Tanyas apprehension of the ruler conducting the war instead for the turn. He had experience. Theyll just have to hit the ground running next turn. Right, that. This world was not a real-time strategy wargame, but a turn-based one instead. Every side had a natural turn which had to do with the age of the side. Alliances aligned that turn with the latest possible one, so Gobwin Knob took their turn before the Royal Crown Coalition. A few sides could theoretically break alliance after their turn and take their next turn before Gobwin Knob, which Sizemore confirmed was possible. Tanya would have to be careful of that. There were practical limitations to such a maneuver, as there was no such thing as being at war, only allied and not allied, so only the smaller contingents within the RCC would be capable of it to prevent infighting from the unled units. Which was another disturbing thing about this. Non-commanders, that is, warlords and casters, were debatably sapient, and universally aggressive to anything not of their side. There were exceptions, like scouts who were capable of hiding, but most games had general rules with exceptions so Tanya just accepted it. Sizemore was somewhat less than helpful when it came to the cost/benefit of each unit type, unfortunately. He couldnt even quote their upkeeps as a shorthand, the cost in shmuckers that each unit drained from the treasury at the start of every turn. It made sense, he wasnt involved in the number crunching that was part and parcel of warfare, but irritating all the same. All he could provide was his own upkeep as a level four dirtamancer, which was 171 shmuckers. Apparently, this was slightly below average for a caster of his level. If one was to equate upkeep with food and other budgetary items perhaps it had something to do with how shabby he looked? He certainly looked cheap to feed Tanya didnt really have much to compare things to, but that intuition seems correct to them. Would giving him nicer clothes and food increase his upkeep? No wait, food lowers upkeep for the turn, which is more of a value transfer if the food production has an opportunity cost that can be put into shmuckers At the end of the frantic cramming session, which lasted all night Their clothes suddenly felt clean and new, their sweat and overall dinginess from the vagaries of life was gone, their hair was neat and soft, and their teeth even felt like it had been given a go-over by a dental hygienist. They felt cleaner than they had been their entire second life. What in the world? Sizemore had mentioned that all units healed at the start of the turn, but he left out exactly what that meant. Still, one of the hallmarks of a wargame instead of a war simulation was simplified logistics, so not having to bother with sanitation was, in hindsight, expected. It was just a little strange to experience personally. They knew more than one person in college who could definitely use something like this. It also came with a subtle feeling of draining. Like water flowing down a drain, or the satisfying experience of a number counting down to zero rapidly. What it did not do, on the other hand, was banish their tiredness. Theyve pulled all-nighters before, though, so it wouldnt be anything new to them. Theyll just have to make sure to nap during the other sides turn. Theyd only have to do anything if they literally invaded the city, so theyll have the time. Stanley had relayed orders, telepathically, to meet him in the Situation Room for breakfast. This was one of the places Wanda had made sure to give them directions to during the tour yesterday, so they knew where to go. Bogroll was an eager lackey, and had even gone so far as to craft some metal armor for Tanyas use, overnight. It fit perfectly, and was designed to be worn over their dress. It certainly made walking around a castle in a summer dress less awkward. Well, looking sharp! Stanley complimented when he saw their new armor. Sit. Well talk after breakfast. Most important meal of the day. The instant Tanya sat down, food appeared on the table with a popping sound. It was a konbini bento. Exactly the kind of shelf-stable meal that they would stock for a quick breakfast if they were running too late to make a proper meal. Tanya smiled at the familiar food, digging in with gusto. With the meal, came two things: a cup of coffee, which was sorely needed, and a pair of earrings? They were jeweled and gaudy, but also kind of reminded Tanya of a wireless earpiece, although they couldnt quite point to why they thought that. Stanley laughed. The treasury puts your upkeep at nearly one thousand shmuckers a turn, it better come with more than just food. He pointed to them. Put them on. Tanya immediately complied, knowing that if they didnt, they would just end up doing it with a headache. They looked back at Stanley, and a blue box appeared in their vision. [Overlord Stanley, Level 11] Attack: 35 Defense: 35 Hits: 21 Move: 21 Specials: Leadership, Attuned, Knight Tanyas eyes widened. They can see the stats of units now! Stanley must never know that they couldnt before. I believe I like them, Lord Stanley. They said, careful not to sound too enthusiastic. Stanley grunted. They look okay. He said neutrally. Now, were going to start up the battle board, and Im going to show you where everything is. When Wanda had initially mentioned the Eyemancers, Tanya had assumed that they merely had two of the same discipline. Not so. Eyemancy was Life and Motion elements, split into Lookamancy (Erf), Thinkamancy (Fate), and Foolamancy (Numbers). Scrying, mind magic, and illusions. One of the capabilities of Thinkamancy was to link the minds of casters together, to allow spells greater than the sum of their parts. Needless to say, this dominance allowed for unparalleled intelligence gathering. That will be critical in the coming turns. There were some caveats. The link was fragile, so you shouldnt refer to them by name, only by discipline, and it tied up all three casters to do. It was already doing what a thinkamancer and lookamancer would be doing, but it did waste the foolamancers contributions to improve the other two. Oddly, as Stanley went over his actions in the previous turn, the positions of the few remaining assets of Gobwin Knob, and that of the enemy, he had ordered the twolls, the large fat men that included Bogroll, even if he was the only one with a single eye, to create a duplicate of the map. They were able to do so with surprising dexterity, creating a map that provided all the information they needed. Also, he had spent five minutes ordering no one to look at what he was looking at, scanning the map for something. At the end of the briefing, Stanley clapped his hands. Well, thats everything, champ. Now, your orders are to keep the side solvent for as long as possible. Youve got no chance, so Im outta here. I cant take all of the dwagons, so youll get to keep some for that plan you mentioned, but the rest? Im going to need them. What? But Youre running? Where? Tanya asked. You dont need to know. Stanley responded darkly. Tanyas lips practically welded shut before she could dispute this. This isnt a hard job. Just do whatever military genius youre supposed to have to make the royal ponces need to put in actual effort to conquer this dump. He jumped down from his stool and gave the Eyemancers one more order. Break your link. How did it come to this? Chapter 2 At first, Tanya was relieved when they learned that Stanley only had need of the Foolamancer to veil his escape. That was before they noticed the consequences of ending a thinkamancy link in the middle of the day. Shes dead. Tanya said to herself, dreams of knowing the enemys movements dying a quick death. The Thinkamancer winced at something but nodded. Yes. In order to ensure the survival of the Foolamancer, as per Lord Stanleys objectives, I concentrated all of the links backlash on the Lookamancer. She paused. The Foolamancer did appear to have suffered some nevertheless, but he wasnt incapacitated. Stanley had already left with the disoriented illusionist. He was mustering his most elite hobgobwin forces (orange, adult-sized soldiers), dressing them up like a metal band, loading them and the dwagons up with food, and readying himself to leave with them. Tanya assumed the thick makeup provided some kind of benefit, but they had more important things to worry about. With Stanleys departure, their dwagon supply had dwindled to thirty-four. Less than ideal. Call every commander to the situation room. Tanya instructed the Thinkamancer. We have a lot to go over before the turns over. Of course. She replied, doing nothing visible to follow Tanyas order. Shortly afterwards, Stanley had put his stack to flight and both of the other commanders had arrived, leaving the room with twice as many commanders as it had before. Its nice to see you back to your old self, Maggie. Sizemore greeted the Thinkamancer. Oh, that was her name, huh? Its tragic, what happened to Misty. And the Lookamancer has a name now, too bad shes just a corpse. Tanya gestured to the body. Are casters useful uncroaked? They asked Wanda as she entered the room. No. The woman replied, practically swaggering as she strutted to the map table. What is the plan? Tanya held up a hand. I dont know yet. We have dwagons, and undead warlords to lead them, and knights to ride them. Even Sizemore was able to elaborate a little bit on how stacks worked. In addition to Leadership as a bonus functioning as a force multiplier, there was a stack bonus disincentivizing one from piling on a hundred units on top of a high level warlord. It went up to +4, with eight units, and decayed with more units, fifteen being the magic +0 number. But there were several ways to expand that limit without invoking that decay. A stack could accept up to two commanders without decaying, one warlord, one caster. They had tested this with the uncroaked warlords, and Tanya could act as either, although their leadership bonus of 1 did not stack with Sir Manpowers bonus of 3. Well, the special Chief Warlord bonus did, but that applied even if she wasnt stacked with them. Knight/Mount pairs were another exception, allowing a stack of mounts to have a full stack of riders with no penalty. Warlords were knights although oddly, Tanya was not a knight, as was proven during the experimentation. Usually that meant the Warlord had some other special that replaced Knight, like Flying or Seafarer. Caster was probably the replacement there. It could still work, it just meant that a stack of Tanya, a caster, and eight dwagons could only stock six knights, while if it was Tanya and, say, Lady Phat-Singh, they could have nine dwagons and seven knights. Given that Wanda, as a level eight master-class Croakamancer, gave a plus four bonus to uncroaked in her hex and eight to her stack? Which stacked with Leadership? And could confer an even greater advantage by using Rhyme-o-Mancy? She was coming along, at least with the plan Tanya had in mind. I just need to know if theres any other possible resource we have that could contribute to this battle. Tanya continued. What about that prisoner? I know Ansoms entire battle plan. Wanda said. Really? Good! Tanya said, pleased. Outline it, please. For everyone. He will send in his tunnel units a turn early as a feint, then surround the city and attack it at all sides. She summarized. Tanya hummed. And what benefit does he get for allowing us to engage his tunnel units separately? They asked. Wanda shrugged. To force us to expend our units, I assume. She said. Whatever losses we take will weaken our walls. She added. ...But we have you. Tanya said. Well just reanimate the losses and park those uncroaked on the walls. What was Tanya missing? Ansom doesnt know that. Wanda elaborated. Ah, that sort of made sense. Surely hes seen uncroaked among our forces. Tanya pointed out. Wanda shrugged again. Warlords do not typically understand magic. She explained. Mass Uncroak is a very limited spell, so its rarely used. Even if we croak more of them than the reverse, he could think that there would be too many bodies for proper reanimation. And hes right. Sizemore chipped in his own wisdom. Uncroaked have less hits than they did in life, and they decay, which lowers those hits further. Theyd just need to dig in a few turns to siege us and all of those uncroaked would fall apart. Five to seven turns. Advised Wanda. They lose points, too. Even advanced infantry and knights become no better than pikers when uncroaked en masse. My plan could still work Tanya said out loud as they looked at the map. The column was too far away But it would tip our hand on your strength. Would it be worth it? Does the prisoner have anything else useful? Tanya asked. Wanda smug smile became even more smug. Ansom is in love with her, and I control her mind. She really should have led with that. Okay, that opens up some possibilities. Tanya allowed. Now, how can we use this? ------------------------ One of the things contributing to Gobwin Knobs defenses was the terrain. The Minty Mountains were very difficult to lead mass numbers of troops through. But difficult was not impossible. There was one road leading straight to the city, and the Royal Crown Coalition was making full use of it. The front three hexes of their column were much stronger, their forces strong enough that they would struggle to take even one of them. They had warlords with knight stacks, several stacks of elves, including the knight-class eager elves, and two stacks each of heavies to further make a frontal assault inadvisable. The column advanced at the pace allowed by their slowest units: the siege towers, which werent even units, but equipment that slowed the units that were actually moving them. The point was, the front of their column was twenty hexes away, and advanced seven hexes per turn, a slow but inexorable advance, and much faster than trying anything but that road in this terrain. Behind them were plenty of comparatively weak hexes, siege units with large quantities of expendable troops to protect them, with plenty of archers to support their fliers in the event of a dwagon raid but no leadership. In the middle of their column, there was the hex with Ansom and the other coalition leaders. Not only was it surrounded by stronger hexes with weak but present leadership, the hex itself had tons of leadership and knights, heavy fliers, making it their strongest hex. Unassailable. As members of an alliance, they could benefit from the Chief Warlord bonus of Ansom, a level ten warlord. This bonus was three, five within his hex. Seeing as how Tanyas out of hex bonus was zero and in-hex bonus was only one, this was a massive disadvantage. But how much of a disadvantage was it? No one could answer that. Where is someone who can provide numbers when you need one? Tanya groused. They had a plan on how to use Jillian, the prisoner, but it was important that Gobwin Knob do some damage to the coalition as a preface. Sizemore, once more, was the voice of sage advice. Well, we could hire a Mathamancer from the Magic Kingdom. Their rates are usually rather inexpensive. The what? Tanya asked. Sizemores eyes widened. Oh, you dont Im sorry. The Magic Kingdom is a place connected to all capitals where barbarian casters offer their services. Immediately, Tanya recalled Stanleys words on hiring fifty casters. Do we have time to do that? Tanya asked. Maggies lips pursed. Well, typically getting same-turn service from the Magic Kingdom is a bit tricky Youd have to have a pre-existing relationship. But Im given to understand that Sizemore is rather popular in the Magic Kingdom. Tanya smiled. Some good news! What contacts do each of you have? They asked eagerly. Wanda hummed. Croakamancy isnt exactly popular. She said, softening bad news. I could ask Marie for assistance. She is a Predictamancer. Hocus Pocus, Life magic, fate axis. Mathamancy is on the numbers axis. Explained Sizemore. They can see the future but sometimes they have only bad news to give. Ah, limited ability to change the future they see. Potentially useful. At least, they could verify if certain mechanical interactions work the way that Tanya thinks they would. Maggie coughed. I am not particularly influential among the Minds that Think Alike. She explained. From context, this was probably some kind of Thinkamancer guild. But they are generally a very curious sort. The novelty of your status may persuade them to offer services, such as Lookamancy, or some assistance from their own contacts. Tanya did not like the sound of being poked and prodded at like an experiment but it was their life on the line here, left to die by Stanley, so theyll just have to tough it out. Properly paid, of course. Of course. There was still a little less than one hundred and sixty thousand shmuckers in the treasury, according to Sizemore. They have plenty of money for such a thing. Sizemore, the popular caster, took a deep breath before following the order. My best friends in the Magic Kingdom are the Hippiemancers. He began. They are a peaceful sort, and generally unwilling to help fight wars, even defensive ones, unless completely unprovoked. The name of the class of magic said it all, didnt it? Janis would definitely be willing to take us in if we need to flee into the Magic Kingdom, help us get on our feet, but theres not much magic theyd be willing to cast for us for any amount of shmuckers. Perhaps some scrolls. DIsappointing. I do have a few other friends, not as close, but I have a fair amount of Rands to pay for work. Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on. Wait. What are Rands? Tanya asked. Is that some secondary currency? Its a barter currency. Sizemore explained. Special to the Magic Kingdom, it lets casters accept payment that cant fit in their purse without needing to get a moneymancer involved. Now that sounded like the kind of magic Tanya would want. Noting their interest, Sizemore added as an aside: Clevermancy uses no elements, numbers axis. Their curiosity sated for the moment, he continued. If you accept payment for work, excess shmuckers beyond your purse limit convert into Rands, which cost and can be spent for 1 turn of upkeep. Tanya frowned. But casters dont have the same upkeep values. SIzemore nodded, a smile on his face. Low level casters occasionally sell their Rands to higher level ones for profit, yes. Brilliant. How did it work? Nevermind that. Tanya snapped their fingers. Give me one, my upkeep is significant. Somewhere in the neighborhood of five Sizemores, in fact. Just to see if it counts for me. Sizemore seemed a little hesitant, but nodded, which caused Tanya to instantly recognize that they had 1 Rand, despite nothing actually changing hands. How novel. Very good. The previous turns you spent accruing these may end up saving the side, Fat chance. ...so I thank you for your service. Sizemore seemed quite surprised to receive positive feedback, but Tanya already figured out that Stanley was not a particularly skilled manager. Are there any other resources I do not know about? Tanya asked. Wanda looked like she had bit into a lemon, but said: I have a small stash of scrolls. Send a lackey to fetch them. Tanya ordered. As they understood from Bogrolls appointment, Lackey was the official title of a personal assistant to a commander, and was generally considered a promotion. It was a little odious, but it wasnt worth arguing about while team cohesion was such a critical asset. Restructuring the organization chart will have to wait for later. Now, you two go to the Magic Kingdom and get in contact with whoever you can get to work before the end of turn. But first, let me explain the basics of my plan ------------------------- Fortunately, one of the allies of the Thinkamancer guild was a Mathamancer named Kurt Godel, although he prefers Count Harbinger, his title. He came along with one of the highest level, and most academically curious, casters in the guild, one Headmaster Isaac. Headmaster being a title granted to someone who is a master of all three eyemancy disciplines. Count Harbiner was a blonde man with circular glasses that was so inoffensive in appearance it made Tanyas skin crawl, like watching a murder mystery about a serial killer. Headmaster Isaac was a fairly stereotypical professor with a tweed jacket. Both of them were significantly taller than the eight year old frame of Tanya, but they were still incredibly short by the standards of Tanyas previous worlds. Was that just how people were in this world? Your odds are good. Count Harbinger said after casting his probability analysis spell. At least, to accomplish what you set out to do this turn. He amended. Overall, your odds are still dismal, even if you repeat this strategy for the three turns you can potentially do it for. Unspoken was the additional and you dont have enough scrolls for that. Conventional, but solid. Headmaster Isaac said neutrally. Given what you stand to gain, anyway. Tanya nodded at the meager criticism. Sometimes, the obvious plan is the best one. I have a more complex battle plan ready for when theyre closer to the city. With Sizemore fortifying the underground over the next few turns, the underground attack force will probably be repelled, particularly if Tanya gains some levels between now and then or learns some additional magic. Given that attacking the walls requires siege if you want to have a decent shot at it The plan is set, then. Tanya said, their heart slamming into their chest. Now it was time to risk it all. Open the thinkagram. They ordered Maggie. Give me Ansom. ----------------------- [Prince Ansom Lunesta of Jetstone, Level 10 Chief Warlord, Heir to Jetstone] It was a troubling turn for the coalition. Well, for Ansom anyway. Their highest level flying commander, Jillian Zamussels, had been captured after going off on her own again. She was good at escaping bonds, this was true, but every time it happens, there was that little niggling doubt that this time, Stanley would tire of her and order her croaked. Ansom shouldnt care about that but he did. Jillian, despite her coarse nature, had a regal beauty to her that made his mind fabricate fanciful tales of being a princess in exile, having lost her kingdom to an evil Overlord, only to be rescued by a charming prince and restored to her throne, creating an alliance between two kingdoms that spans ten thousand turns. It was nonsense, but love was a matter that was beyond magic. He knew this to be true. He looked once more at the message hat. If Jillian escaped, that would be where the message to recover her would come from. As a barbarian, she doesnt need to be repatriated to become combat ready, merely escape. It was why holding barbarians prisoner for very long was discouraged by Scripture. But Stanley was never smart enough to listen to the wisdom of the Titans. A faint buzz resounded in Ansoms head. Oh? A thinkagram? From who? Out of curiosity alone, he accepted the contact, and a curious girls image occupied his mind. Instantly, he recognized that she had recently had some minor signamancy magic cast to touch up her appearance, a common tactic in royal courts that foreign non-royals didnt usually even think to do. Odd. Some courtiers and Tremennis considered not doing so a crime, but Ansom privately thought that it was dishonest. Her hair had been done up in an admittedly quite fashionable set of twin buns, quite suited for her golden hair. They brought attention to her beautiful earrings, ones that Ansom would not be surprised to find adorning a queen. Her appearance was strange. Like she was too small for what she should be. Her voice, a high-pitched chime that spoke with confidence, went straight to business. Hello, Prince Ansom. She began. I am Tanya Degurechaff, Chief Warlord of Gobwin Knob. Your forces croaked my predecessor last turn, so I thought it prudent to start things off cordially. Ansom found himself standing tall and straight at the sound of her words. This was a Warlady that was popped for the role, Ansom was sure. Did Stanley finally give up on promoting infantry? Still, certain formalities have not yet been met. Well met. He began curtly. Do you not have a title? Tanya seemed irritated at the digression, frowning intently. That is classified information. She said, Overlord Stanley has forbidden me to speak of it. Why? Going away from topics that could lead to disbanding, the purpose of this communication is prisoner negotiations. Ah, that makes sense. Stanley wouldnt be so polite, but a popped Warlord knows the value of diplomacy. Was she a noble, perhaps? Gobwin Knob used to be a royal side It would explain why Stanley the Worm would forbid her title to be spoken of or possibly an old prisoner? Still, Ansom should start talking. You wish to ransom Jillian? He asked. My options are limited. Tanya explained. Princess Zamussels represents a powerful asset to your alliance, and a potential liability for my side, assuming she lives. Princess? Tanya seized on his expression as quickly as any courtier. Oh? Did you not know? She asked, a wry grin on her face. Youd be surprised by the bits of useless trivia that interrogations can give So she knows the tunnel attack is a feint. No matter. It just means he needs to be prepared. So, my position is clear: I can either croak her myself for the potential to level up, or- No! Ansom found himself shouting. -or you can offer me something of greater value. Tanya finished. I must say, a level nine princess? Thats mighty valuable. She was right I might even level twice. She added, betraying her low level. Ansom felt a sinking sensation. She didnt even need to bluff, here. It was the cruel mathamancy of war. Dont do this. He asked, more as a test than anything else. Why not? Tanya asked, offended. The primary utility of taking prisoners for sides lacking turnamancers is to allow low level warlords, freshly popped royals, and nonviolent casters to gain levels, and that very well describes me! Her eyes narrowed imperiously. Wait, she didnt specify which Now, in consideration for your position, I am offering you the chance to place your own bid. The Titans have offered their own, that her life is worth so many experience points. Now, what is yours? The words were cruel, but practical. Straightforward in a way that was refreshing, when one was more used to the perfidy of Haggar or the cheery facade of Charlsecomm. She would have fit in well among Ansoms brothers and sisters, both in appearance and deed. At least the ones Ansom liked. Even if Ansom was pretty sure the courtiers would be calling her Tanya the Evil in whispered tones within a tenturn. Still, what could Ansom offer that would both be enough of an advantage to permit Jillians release, but without crippling the effort to croak them? Assurances of ensuring that she survived would be a good start Did you have something in mind? Ansom asked, to buy time. Tanya smiled at the showing of diplomatic weakness. It was not a smile that was pleasant to see. Well, theres not much you can actually offer. Most things you can offer would be taken right back after you sack Gobwin Knob. My Duty demands that it be something that increases whatever slim odds my side possesses to survive. Ansom set his jaw, acknowledging her point. But I imagine anything I do to the Princess would be visited on me in turn, so perhaps a symbolic exchange would be appropriate. Symbolic? My Chief Caster tells me that you possess an unattuned example of the Arkentools, the Arkenpliers. Ansom narrows his own eyes. What was she playing at? I am prepared to Sign an agreement to preserve Jillians life at a steep penalty On the condition that she ceases participation in this battlespace, leaves it as soon as possible, and in return, you hand over the Arkenpliers. Ansom gripped his fist. Tactically speaking, that was actually rather fair. The Arkenpliers were a superlative weapon, but beyond its special bonus against uncroaked units, that was all they were. They traded away the opportunity to gain some levels on their Chief Warlord in return for a weapon that they could actually use, potentially to gain that experience in regular combat. I would require assurances. He said. Of course. Tanya said. This is a fair war. Stanley conquered, youre conquering him right back. Its all part of the game. She ticked off points with her fingers. Only two units on our side will be permitted to hold them: Myself or my Chief Caster, Wanda Firebaugh. Ansom quirked an eyebrow. In the event of the Arkenpliers being moved into the Magic Kingdom, both of us will turn to your side, Prince Ansom. In the event that Stanley or either of us croaks, or if any of the Princess forces attacks a Gobwin Knob unit, the agreement is void. Ansom hummed as he realized that she left herself an option to betray Stanley, and an incentive for herself to be captured without directly demanding it. It was clever, but Ansom was already planning on capturing this particular Warlady. Quite frankly, Ansom suspected that the opposing Warlady was heavily overestimating the power of the Arkenpliers. ...Do you think the Arkenpliers will allow you victory? He asked. Tanyas smile became a bit more honest. She was enjoying this exchange. Perhaps. She said airily. Wanda is the one who wants them. Shes convinced that their being in her hands rather than yours will be decisive. Wait. What does she know that Ansom doesnt? Those terms are suspiciously generous. He said, a note of accusation entering his voice. He wasnt used to talking with the enemy this much Who is Wanda Firebaugh? What manner of caster is she? Tanya blinked. Ah, she is our Chief Croakamancer. She said guilelessly. Of course! Wanda must be aware of the Arkenpliers special bonus verses uncroaked. Jillian knew about it. It was significant, but it was easily gone without. Tanya continued: This thinkagram is running long, Prince. Does this agreement seem reasonable to you? Contract terms immediately manifested in front of her, and from a brief review it was exactly as described, if with a bit more formal language. An incentive to capture the Warlady, a few logistical details, and detailed penalties, and overall just a straightforward agreement to trade the Arkenpliers for Jillians safety, until Ansom takes them back. Penalties on Ansoms part were largely just agreement void, the Arkenpliers gets brought into the Magic Kingdom, presumably sold to the highest bidder for cash to fuel their defense, while penalties for Gobwin Knob were mostly just turning the offending units. Was it worth it? Father would likely say no. Ossomer would say no. Tramennis would equivocate instead of making a decision. But would those answers change, if they knew she was a princess? Whatever the answer, Ansom could only trust one thing: if he did not agree, Jillian would croak. Those eyes that were gazing into his own were ready to make hard decisions. The eyes of a ruler. He couldnt allow that. I accept. He said, tapping the button on the contract. He could feel the potential of signamancy, like a weight on his back, but it wasnt yet binding. The spell had yet to be cast. Fantastic. Tanya said. Ill just get that notarized and then I can continue with the turn. I have some offensive operations to conduct. What? Oh? Nothing in our agreement specified a ceasefire, Prince Ansom. If you thought I would let your column approach our walls without at least some skirmishes, you have another thing coming. I have my Duty and we are still at war, after all. That was fair. As much as it burned Ansom to admit it. It would be better to fight those dwagons out in the field, anyway. He even said as much to the other commanders just yesterday. Also, without croaking the prisoner, Im going to need to make up that experience point deficit somehow. Youre a lot higher level than I am, you know? Ansom couldnt help but smile back at her mischievous expression as she said that. It was just so cute. Bai bai! Tanya said, breaking the thinkagram. Chapter 2 At first, Tanya was relieved when they learned that Stanley only had need of the Foolamancer to veil his escape. That was before they noticed the consequences of ending a thinkamancy link in the middle of the day. Shes dead. Tanya said to herself, dreams of knowing the enemys movements dying a quick death. The Thinkamancer winced at something but nodded. Yes. In order to ensure the survival of the Foolamancer, as per Lord Stanleys objectives, I concentrated all of the links backlash on the Lookamancer. She paused. The Foolamancer did appear to have suffered some nevertheless, but he wasnt incapacitated. Stanley had already left with the disoriented illusionist. He was mustering his most elite hobgobwin forces (orange, adult-sized soldiers), dressing them up like a metal band, loading them and the dwagons up with food, and readying himself to leave with them. Tanya assumed the thick makeup provided some kind of benefit, but they had more important things to worry about. With Stanleys departure, their dwagon supply had dwindled to thirty-four. Less than ideal. Call every commander to the situation room. Tanya instructed the Thinkamancer. We have a lot to go over before the turns over. Of course. She replied, doing nothing visible to follow Tanyas order. Shortly afterwards, Stanley had put his stack to flight and both of the other commanders had arrived, leaving the room with twice as many commanders as it had before. Its nice to see you back to your old self, Maggie. Sizemore greeted the Thinkamancer. Oh, that was her name, huh? Its tragic, what happened to Misty. And the Lookamancer has a name now, too bad shes just a corpse. Tanya gestured to the body. Are casters useful uncroaked? They asked Wanda as she entered the room. No. The woman replied, practically swaggering as she strutted to the map table. What is the plan? Tanya held up a hand. I dont know yet. We have dwagons, and undead warlords to lead them, and knights to ride them. Even Sizemore was able to elaborate a little bit on how stacks worked. In addition to Leadership as a bonus functioning as a force multiplier, there was a stack bonus disincentivizing one from piling on a hundred units on top of a high level warlord. It went up to +4, with eight units, and decayed with more units, fifteen being the magic +0 number. But there were several ways to expand that limit without invoking that decay. A stack could accept up to two commanders without decaying, one warlord, one caster. They had tested this with the uncroaked warlords, and Tanya could act as either, although their leadership bonus of 1 did not stack with Sir Manpowers bonus of 3. Well, the special Chief Warlord bonus did, but that applied even if she wasnt stacked with them. Knight/Mount pairs were another exception, allowing a stack of mounts to have a full stack of riders with no penalty. Warlords were knights although oddly, Tanya was not a knight, as was proven during the experimentation. Usually that meant the Warlord had some other special that replaced Knight, like Flying or Seafarer. Caster was probably the replacement there. It could still work, it just meant that a stack of Tanya, a caster, and eight dwagons could only stock six knights, while if it was Tanya and, say, Lady Phat-Singh, they could have nine dwagons and seven knights. Given that Wanda, as a level eight master-class Croakamancer, gave a plus four bonus to uncroaked in her hex and eight to her stack? Which stacked with Leadership? And could confer an even greater advantage by using Rhyme-o-Mancy? She was coming along, at least with the plan Tanya had in mind. I just need to know if theres any other possible resource we have that could contribute to this battle. Tanya continued. What about that prisoner? I know Ansoms entire battle plan. Wanda said. Really? Good! Tanya said, pleased. Outline it, please. For everyone. He will send in his tunnel units a turn early as a feint, then surround the city and attack it at all sides. She summarized. Tanya hummed. And what benefit does he get for allowing us to engage his tunnel units separately? They asked. Wanda shrugged. To force us to expend our units, I assume. She said. Whatever losses we take will weaken our walls. She added. ...But we have you. Tanya said. Well just reanimate the losses and park those uncroaked on the walls. What was Tanya missing? Ansom doesnt know that. Wanda elaborated. Ah, that sort of made sense. Surely hes seen uncroaked among our forces. Tanya pointed out. Wanda shrugged again. Warlords do not typically understand magic. She explained. Mass Uncroak is a very limited spell, so its rarely used. Even if we croak more of them than the reverse, he could think that there would be too many bodies for proper reanimation. And hes right. Sizemore chipped in his own wisdom. Uncroaked have less hits than they did in life, and they decay, which lowers those hits further. Theyd just need to dig in a few turns to siege us and all of those uncroaked would fall apart. Five to seven turns. Advised Wanda. They lose points, too. Even advanced infantry and knights become no better than pikers when uncroaked en masse. My plan could still work Tanya said out loud as they looked at the map. The column was too far away But it would tip our hand on your strength. Would it be worth it? Does the prisoner have anything else useful? Tanya asked. Wanda smug smile became even more smug. Ansom is in love with her, and I control her mind. She really should have led with that. Okay, that opens up some possibilities. Tanya allowed. Now, how can we use this? ------------------------ One of the things contributing to Gobwin Knobs defenses was the terrain. The Minty Mountains were very difficult to lead mass numbers of troops through. But difficult was not impossible. There was one road leading straight to the city, and the Royal Crown Coalition was making full use of it. The front three hexes of their column were much stronger, their forces strong enough that they would struggle to take even one of them. They had warlords with knight stacks, several stacks of elves, including the knight-class eager elves, and two stacks each of heavies to further make a frontal assault inadvisable. The column advanced at the pace allowed by their slowest units: the siege towers, which werent even units, but equipment that slowed the units that were actually moving them. The point was, the front of their column was twenty hexes away, and advanced seven hexes per turn, a slow but inexorable advance, and much faster than trying anything but that road in this terrain. Behind them were plenty of comparatively weak hexes, siege units with large quantities of expendable troops to protect them, with plenty of archers to support their fliers in the event of a dwagon raid but no leadership. In the middle of their column, there was the hex with Ansom and the other coalition leaders. Not only was it surrounded by stronger hexes with weak but present leadership, the hex itself had tons of leadership and knights, heavy fliers, making it their strongest hex. Unassailable. As members of an alliance, they could benefit from the Chief Warlord bonus of Ansom, a level ten warlord. This bonus was three, five within his hex. Seeing as how Tanyas out of hex bonus was zero and in-hex bonus was only one, this was a massive disadvantage. But how much of a disadvantage was it? No one could answer that. Where is someone who can provide numbers when you need one? Tanya groused. They had a plan on how to use Jillian, the prisoner, but it was important that Gobwin Knob do some damage to the coalition as a preface. Sizemore, once more, was the voice of sage advice. Well, we could hire a Mathamancer from the Magic Kingdom. Their rates are usually rather inexpensive. The what? Tanya asked. Sizemores eyes widened. Oh, you dont Im sorry. The Magic Kingdom is a place connected to all capitals where barbarian casters offer their services. Immediately, Tanya recalled Stanleys words on hiring fifty casters. Do we have time to do that? Tanya asked. Maggies lips pursed. Well, typically getting same-turn service from the Magic Kingdom is a bit tricky Youd have to have a pre-existing relationship. But Im given to understand that Sizemore is rather popular in the Magic Kingdom. Tanya smiled. Some good news! What contacts do each of you have? They asked eagerly. Wanda hummed. Croakamancy isnt exactly popular. She said, softening bad news. I could ask Marie for assistance. She is a Predictamancer. Hocus Pocus, Life magic, fate axis. Mathamancy is on the numbers axis. Explained Sizemore. They can see the future but sometimes they have only bad news to give. Ah, limited ability to change the future they see. Potentially useful. At least, they could verify if certain mechanical interactions work the way that Tanya thinks they would. Maggie coughed. I am not particularly influential among the Minds that Think Alike. She explained. From context, this was probably some kind of Thinkamancer guild. But they are generally a very curious sort. The novelty of your status may persuade them to offer services, such as Lookamancy, or some assistance from their own contacts. Tanya did not like the sound of being poked and prodded at like an experiment but it was their life on the line here, left to die by Stanley, so theyll just have to tough it out. Properly paid, of course. Of course. There was still a little less than one hundred and sixty thousand shmuckers in the treasury, according to Sizemore. They have plenty of money for such a thing. Sizemore, the popular caster, took a deep breath before following the order. My best friends in the Magic Kingdom are the Hippiemancers. He began. They are a peaceful sort, and generally unwilling to help fight wars, even defensive ones, unless completely unprovoked. The name of the class of magic said it all, didnt it? Janis would definitely be willing to take us in if we need to flee into the Magic Kingdom, help us get on our feet, but theres not much magic theyd be willing to cast for us for any amount of shmuckers. Perhaps some scrolls. DIsappointing. I do have a few other friends, not as close, but I have a fair amount of Rands to pay for work. Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. Wait. What are Rands? Tanya asked. Is that some secondary currency? Its a barter currency. Sizemore explained. Special to the Magic Kingdom, it lets casters accept payment that cant fit in their purse without needing to get a moneymancer involved. Now that sounded like the kind of magic Tanya would want. Noting their interest, Sizemore added as an aside: Clevermancy uses no elements, numbers axis. Their curiosity sated for the moment, he continued. If you accept payment for work, excess shmuckers beyond your purse limit convert into Rands, which cost and can be spent for 1 turn of upkeep. Tanya frowned. But casters dont have the same upkeep values. SIzemore nodded, a smile on his face. Low level casters occasionally sell their Rands to higher level ones for profit, yes. Brilliant. How did it work? Nevermind that. Tanya snapped their fingers. Give me one, my upkeep is significant. Somewhere in the neighborhood of five Sizemores, in fact. Just to see if it counts for me. Sizemore seemed a little hesitant, but nodded, which caused Tanya to instantly recognize that they had 1 Rand, despite nothing actually changing hands. How novel. Very good. The previous turns you spent accruing these may end up saving the side, Fat chance. ...so I thank you for your service. Sizemore seemed quite surprised to receive positive feedback, but Tanya already figured out that Stanley was not a particularly skilled manager. Are there any other resources I do not know about? Tanya asked. Wanda looked like she had bit into a lemon, but said: I have a small stash of scrolls. Send a lackey to fetch them. Tanya ordered. As they understood from Bogrolls appointment, Lackey was the official title of a personal assistant to a commander, and was generally considered a promotion. It was a little odious, but it wasnt worth arguing about while team cohesion was such a critical asset. Restructuring the organization chart will have to wait for later. Now, you two go to the Magic Kingdom and get in contact with whoever you can get to work before the end of turn. But first, let me explain the basics of my plan ------------------------- Fortunately, one of the allies of the Thinkamancer guild was a Mathamancer named Kurt Godel, although he prefers Count Harbinger, his title. He came along with one of the highest level, and most academically curious, casters in the guild, one Headmaster Isaac. Headmaster being a title granted to someone who is a master of all three eyemancy disciplines. Count Harbiner was a blonde man with circular glasses that was so inoffensive in appearance it made Tanyas skin crawl, like watching a murder mystery about a serial killer. Headmaster Isaac was a fairly stereotypical professor with a tweed jacket. Both of them were significantly taller than the eight year old frame of Tanya, but they were still incredibly short by the standards of Tanyas previous worlds. Was that just how people were in this world? Your odds are good. Count Harbinger said after casting his probability analysis spell. At least, to accomplish what you set out to do this turn. He amended. Overall, your odds are still dismal, even if you repeat this strategy for the three turns you can potentially do it for. Unspoken was the additional and you dont have enough scrolls for that. Conventional, but solid. Headmaster Isaac said neutrally. Given what you stand to gain, anyway. Tanya nodded at the meager criticism. Sometimes, the obvious plan is the best one. I have a more complex battle plan ready for when theyre closer to the city. With Sizemore fortifying the underground over the next few turns, the underground attack force will probably be repelled, particularly if Tanya gains some levels between now and then or learns some additional magic. Given that attacking the walls requires siege if you want to have a decent shot at it The plan is set, then. Tanya said, their heart slamming into their chest. Now it was time to risk it all. Open the thinkagram. They ordered Maggie. Give me Ansom. ----------------------- [Prince Ansom Lunesta of Jetstone, Level 10 Chief Warlord, Heir to Jetstone] It was a troubling turn for the coalition. Well, for Ansom anyway. Their highest level flying commander, Jillian Zamussels, had been captured after going off on her own again. She was good at escaping bonds, this was true, but every time it happens, there was that little niggling doubt that this time, Stanley would tire of her and order her croaked. Ansom shouldnt care about that but he did. Jillian, despite her coarse nature, had a regal beauty to her that made his mind fabricate fanciful tales of being a princess in exile, having lost her kingdom to an evil Overlord, only to be rescued by a charming prince and restored to her throne, creating an alliance between two kingdoms that spans ten thousand turns. It was nonsense, but love was a matter that was beyond magic. He knew this to be true. He looked once more at the message hat. If Jillian escaped, that would be where the message to recover her would come from. As a barbarian, she doesnt need to be repatriated to become combat ready, merely escape. It was why holding barbarians prisoner for very long was discouraged by Scripture. But Stanley was never smart enough to listen to the wisdom of the Titans. A faint buzz resounded in Ansoms head. Oh? A thinkagram? From who? Out of curiosity alone, he accepted the contact, and a curious girls image occupied his mind. Instantly, he recognized that she had recently had some minor signamancy magic cast to touch up her appearance, a common tactic in royal courts that foreign non-royals didnt usually even think to do. Odd. Some courtiers and Tremennis considered not doing so a crime, but Ansom privately thought that it was dishonest. Her hair had been done up in an admittedly quite fashionable set of twin buns, quite suited for her golden hair. They brought attention to her beautiful earrings, ones that Ansom would not be surprised to find adorning a queen. Her appearance was strange. Like she was too small for what she should be. Her voice, a high-pitched chime that spoke with confidence, went straight to business. Hello, Prince Ansom. She began. I am Tanya Degurechaff, Chief Warlord of Gobwin Knob. Your forces croaked my predecessor last turn, so I thought it prudent to start things off cordially. Ansom found himself standing tall and straight at the sound of her words. This was a Warlady that was popped for the role, Ansom was sure. Did Stanley finally give up on promoting infantry? Still, certain formalities have not yet been met. Well met. He began curtly. Do you not have a title? Tanya seemed irritated at the digression, frowning intently. That is classified information. She said, Overlord Stanley has forbidden me to speak of it. Why? Going away from topics that could lead to disbanding, the purpose of this communication is prisoner negotiations. Ah, that makes sense. Stanley wouldnt be so polite, but a popped Warlord knows the value of diplomacy. Was she a noble, perhaps? Gobwin Knob used to be a royal side It would explain why Stanley the Worm would forbid her title to be spoken of or possibly an old prisoner? Still, Ansom should start talking. You wish to ransom Jillian? He asked. My options are limited. Tanya explained. Princess Zamussels represents a powerful asset to your alliance, and a potential liability for my side, assuming she lives. Princess? Tanya seized on his expression as quickly as any courtier. Oh? Did you not know? She asked, a wry grin on her face. Youd be surprised by the bits of useless trivia that interrogations can give So she knows the tunnel attack is a feint. No matter. It just means he needs to be prepared. So, my position is clear: I can either croak her myself for the potential to level up, or- No! Ansom found himself shouting. -or you can offer me something of greater value. Tanya finished. I must say, a level nine princess? Thats mighty valuable. She was right I might even level twice. She added, betraying her low level. Ansom felt a sinking sensation. She didnt even need to bluff, here. It was the cruel mathamancy of war. Dont do this. He asked, more as a test than anything else. Why not? Tanya asked, offended. The primary utility of taking prisoners for sides lacking turnamancers is to allow low level warlords, freshly popped royals, and nonviolent casters to gain levels, and that very well describes me! Her eyes narrowed imperiously. Wait, she didnt specify which Now, in consideration for your position, I am offering you the chance to place your own bid. The Titans have offered their own, that her life is worth so many experience points. Now, what is yours? The words were cruel, but practical. Straightforward in a way that was refreshing, when one was more used to the perfidy of Haggar or the cheery facade of Charlsecomm. She would have fit in well among Ansoms brothers and sisters, both in appearance and deed. At least the ones Ansom liked. Even if Ansom was pretty sure the courtiers would be calling her Tanya the Evil in whispered tones within a tenturn. Still, what could Ansom offer that would both be enough of an advantage to permit Jillians release, but without crippling the effort to croak them? Assurances of ensuring that she survived would be a good start Did you have something in mind? Ansom asked, to buy time. Tanya smiled at the showing of diplomatic weakness. It was not a smile that was pleasant to see. Well, theres not much you can actually offer. Most things you can offer would be taken right back after you sack Gobwin Knob. My Duty demands that it be something that increases whatever slim odds my side possesses to survive. Ansom set his jaw, acknowledging her point. But I imagine anything I do to the Princess would be visited on me in turn, so perhaps a symbolic exchange would be appropriate. Symbolic? My Chief Caster tells me that you possess an unattuned example of the Arkentools, the Arkenpliers. Ansom narrows his own eyes. What was she playing at? I am prepared to Sign an agreement to preserve Jillians life at a steep penalty On the condition that she ceases participation in this battlespace, leaves it as soon as possible, and in return, you hand over the Arkenpliers. Ansom gripped his fist. Tactically speaking, that was actually rather fair. The Arkenpliers were a superlative weapon, but beyond its special bonus against uncroaked units, that was all they were. They traded away the opportunity to gain some levels on their Chief Warlord in return for a weapon that they could actually use, potentially to gain that experience in regular combat. I would require assurances. He said. Of course. Tanya said. This is a fair war. Stanley conquered, youre conquering him right back. Its all part of the game. She ticked off points with her fingers. Only two units on our side will be permitted to hold them: Myself or my Chief Caster, Wanda Firebaugh. Ansom quirked an eyebrow. In the event of the Arkenpliers being moved into the Magic Kingdom, both of us will turn to your side, Prince Ansom. In the event that Stanley or either of us croaks, or if any of the Princess forces attacks a Gobwin Knob unit, the agreement is void. Ansom hummed as he realized that she left herself an option to betray Stanley, and an incentive for herself to be captured without directly demanding it. It was clever, but Ansom was already planning on capturing this particular Warlady. Quite frankly, Ansom suspected that the opposing Warlady was heavily overestimating the power of the Arkenpliers. ...Do you think the Arkenpliers will allow you victory? He asked. Tanyas smile became a bit more honest. She was enjoying this exchange. Perhaps. She said airily. Wanda is the one who wants them. Shes convinced that their being in her hands rather than yours will be decisive. Wait. What does she know that Ansom doesnt? Those terms are suspiciously generous. He said, a note of accusation entering his voice. He wasnt used to talking with the enemy this much Who is Wanda Firebaugh? What manner of caster is she? Tanya blinked. Ah, she is our Chief Croakamancer. She said guilelessly. Of course! Wanda must be aware of the Arkenpliers special bonus verses uncroaked. Jillian knew about it. It was significant, but it was easily gone without. Tanya continued: This thinkagram is running long, Prince. Does this agreement seem reasonable to you? Contract terms immediately manifested in front of her, and from a brief review it was exactly as described, if with a bit more formal language. An incentive to capture the Warlady, a few logistical details, and detailed penalties, and overall just a straightforward agreement to trade the Arkenpliers for Jillians safety, until Ansom takes them back. Penalties on Ansoms part were largely just agreement void, the Arkenpliers gets brought into the Magic Kingdom, presumably sold to the highest bidder for cash to fuel their defense, while penalties for Gobwin Knob were mostly just turning the offending units. Was it worth it? Father would likely say no. Ossomer would say no. Tramennis would equivocate instead of making a decision. But would those answers change, if they knew she was a princess? Whatever the answer, Ansom could only trust one thing: if he did not agree, Jillian would croak. Those eyes that were gazing into his own were ready to make hard decisions. The eyes of a ruler. He couldnt allow that. I accept. He said, tapping the button on the contract. He could feel the potential of signamancy, like a weight on his back, but it wasnt yet binding. The spell had yet to be cast. Fantastic. Tanya said. Ill just get that notarized and then I can continue with the turn. I have some offensive operations to conduct. What? Oh? Nothing in our agreement specified a ceasefire, Prince Ansom. If you thought I would let your column approach our walls without at least some skirmishes, you have another thing coming. I have my Duty and we are still at war, after all. That was fair. As much as it burned Ansom to admit it. It would be better to fight those dwagons out in the field, anyway. He even said as much to the other commanders just yesterday. Also, without croaking the prisoner, Im going to need to make up that experience point deficit somehow. Youre a lot higher level than I am, you know? Ansom couldnt help but smile back at her mischievous expression as she said that. It was just so cute. Bai bai! Tanya said, breaking the thinkagram. Chapter 3 Tanya looked at their collected casters after wiping at their face, dismissing the makeup spell. It was supposed to make her look more respectable to Ansom, improving the odds of the negotiations success. Why Ansom was more likely to respect them if they resembled Sailor Moon, Tanya didnt understand. Hand me the scroll. They ordered. Sizemore presented the green scroll, one of the fruits of his shopping spree with the Hippiemancers. True to his claims, they gave him full access to their stores and a discounted price. They focused on the agreement that Maggie had composed for them, loopholes and all. John Hancock. They intoned, activating the second Signamancy scroll. It was difficult to describe the feeling of the contract inscribing itself onto some ephemeral part of Tanya, spreading out to every unit of the side. Signamancy was really something, wasnt it? Even if for some reason it covered both physical appearance and contract enforcement. It presumably made sense to signamancers. They turned to Wanda. So youre sure Jillian will break the agreement? They asked. Of course. Wanda replied. I control her mind, as I said. Her hate for Stanley will never allow her to accept such limits. And then the Arkenpliers will be mine in truth. She grinned sadistically as she imagined her Fated attunement to an Arkentool. Tanya wasnt fully convinced that Wanda was correct that the undead bane weapon would attune to a necromancer, but as gambles go, it wasn''t a bad one. But the real point of that strategy was to get Ansom to agree to a different contract after Jillian breaks the first one. The plan was to demand that he sit out of the battle instead of Jillian, as the sunk cost fallacy would tempt him to sign away that greater advantage just for honors sake. That would be 2 less leadership bonus for the entire coalition, a mighty impressive advantage. Hopefully, their plan would allow their in-hex bonus to match or possibly outmatch his out of hex bonus after they accumulate the necessary experience. They had four stacks worth of dwagons, and six warlords to boost them. Each of them could fly the forty hexes there and back, with at least six more move to spare. Stanley had, as part of the previous turn, recalled all field forces back to Gobwin knob, so they had essentially zero presence on the battlespace beyond their city. They couldnt be fancy about it with them that far away, but they didnt need to be. Among the scrolls sold by date-a-mancers was a fascinating spell that enhanced the natural bond between a mount and their rider, effectively allowing the temporary bestowal of the Knight special to non-knights. They were relatively inexpensive, so Sizemore bought three. He assured them that more would be available if they check back in two turns, and his good relations with them would ensure that they do not gouge him. Each stack had an uncroaked Warlord, with Wanda and Tanya each in the caster slot of two stacks. The RCCs column had approximately ten thousand units total, a little less. There was a limit as to how many units you could put in a single hex, so they had to spread out over about sixteen hexes. Twelve of those hexes were the weak hexes, with very close to identical ground force compositions. The weak hexes each had two to four towers, a piece of siege equipment that allowed several stacks of digger units to be protected while they wore away at city walls. Each of these towers were pushed by two gigantic teddy bear golems, known as battle bears. These golems were Jetstones signature siege unit, in fact. Very dangerous, a dwagon could not win in melee on equal footing. But equal footing was for corpses. Or, as the Count said during planning, the only equality was net zero. It was an excellent math joke, and Tanya was looking forward to the magic lessons that were to follow the battle. Protecting those critical siege assets were about six hundred on average basic infantry or units of similar strength like marbits or elves, seventy-five stacks worth, with plenty of archery, and some relatively weak flying assets, mostly some infantry-class owl units called Orlies, about three stacks per hex. The column possessed more impressive fliers in the form of knight-class Unipegataurs and Princess Jillians remaining Gwiffons, which are heavy fliers, but there werent enough stacks of those to cover every hex. Just the ones surrounding the leadership hex and the leadership hex itself. They wont be attacking those hexes. Tanya got to fly in a ten-stack with Ensign Toast, the highest level (and lowest freshness, he was practically a skeleton) of the uncroaked warlords and the other three stacks held the other uncroaked warlords and Wanda. They also brought as many hobgobwin knights as they could fit, as they were somewhat stronger than the regular knights. As Stanely had limited the number of knights for what were presumably financial reasons, this required some promotion to fill all of the saddles. Most strategy games had a tendency to create jan-ken-pon matchups when it came to what was the most favorable. The basic matchup set in Erfworld was as follows: The damage reduction, high stats, and ability to attack multiple smaller units at once meant that heavies tended to destroy infantry in large numbers. Knights had even higher statistics and lower upkeep, so they tended to carve up heavies, and infantrys pitiful upkeep meant that they overwhelmed knights. Naturally, these matchups could be overcome by numerical advantage, either in actual numbers or in force multipliers, and it also assumed that the upkeep represented by the units were equal, so given that a dwagon had the upkeep of six basic knights, knights tended to win handily if they outnumbered the dwagons six to one. If it was, say, four to one? Much more even. The offensive operations for this turn had multiple phases, but the first was the most critical one: completely croak one of those twelve weak hexes. This was a bit of a tall order. Fortunately, dwagons had one important advantage: their breath weapon. It was a limited use shockamancy attack, with each color of dwagon having a different one. Each example had their own strengths and weaknesses, but each could only inflict a certain amount of damage per use, as the shockamancy was soaked up by the other units. This was enough to croak a whole stack of infantry, mind you, But there were additional considerations. For example, the pink dwagons had an incapacitating bubblegum attack, which was very short ranged and did not have the area of effect necessary to capture more than half a stack at a time, and even that required them to stupidly clump up instead of spreading out a bit. These were unled infantry, so at least they can be counted on to do that much. The yellows had the longest range, but that was because they used battlecrap as kind of an acidic aerial bombing run. They had 30+ shots instead of the 6+ shots the other varieties had, but the area was tiny, only enough to hit three clumped up targets at most. The blue dwagons used lightning, but this had just as tiny of an area when pointed down. So only the purple, green, and red dwagons could use the expected performance of those specials against hundreds of infantry before closing into melee. As a mitigating factor, the green dwagons toxic gas was flammable, so following up one of those with a red dwagons breath drastically amplified both the power and area of effect of the fire breath, effectively doubling the potency. Naturally, Tanya loaded reds and greens onto their stack, to maximize the leadership experience points granted to their stack. The experience point mechanics were not completely understood. Mathamancers knew the most, but there were hidden factors that occluded precision unless they spent juice to bridge that gap of understanding, which was greater magic than simple number crunching. Commanders got a bundle of bonus experience for their stacks performance, but the fact that the other warlords were uncroaked, under the direct instruction of Tanya no less, meant that Tanya may be allocated their share of it, or possibly Wanda would. What was not ambiguous was that Ensign Toast would not be receiving any, as Tanya was in command of their stack. Chief Warlords also got the experience point shares of unled stacks in their hex, but they couldnt afford to let any of the stacks go without a Leadership bonus. As the Count explained it, a twenty point edge in Combat and Defense stats was the he used the term diminishing advantage, but given his benchmark probabilities, Tanya immediately translated it as soft cap on opposed twenty-sided dice. More advantage helped a little bit, but that was the point where the chance of your enemy damaging you became as low as it would go. One of the weaknesses of dwagons is that their Combat and Defense ratings were actually low compared to other heavy units of similarly high upkeep. They only had 6 base in each, while basic infantry had 1/1, 2/3, and 3/0 for pikers, stabbers, and archers respectively. So to achieve that cap of effectiveness, they needed to gain 17 points of force multiplication over theirs. The Arkenhammer granted them a +2 bonus in the same way Wanda gave all uncroaked on the side a bonus, so with that, Tanyas +1, and the uncroakeds bonuses of +3 to 5, they were nowhere near that value, and Ansom provided his units a +3 even without his presence. The leveled dwagons did have higher stats but it was mostly move, hits, and breath weapon effectiveness/uses. They needed to be level 3 to gain another point in combat and defense, and there was only enough for Tanyas stack to have those. With all of this taken into account, the battle plan was as optimal as Tanya could make it. Thus, they took flight. Dwagons were, as Tanya expected, essentially dragons, but they were rounder and fatter than one would usually think, with much smaller wings. Like it was a plush toy brought to life rather than a real living thing. The highest level remaining dwagon that Tanya claimed for themselves, a level four yellow they named King Bomber, did indeed have scales, although they were smooth like a snakes rather than the rough or sharp armor theyd expect from a dragon. Flying through the air felt right, but there was a certain discomfort with the saddle that fortunately vanished when the date-a-mancy scroll was used. Hex borders were fairly interesting, in Tanyas opinion. Traveling through one stole something from each unit that passed through, even from Tanya, but not, oddly enough, from the other mounted units. How unusual Isaac had advised them to keep note of any previously unnoticed senses they may possess to gain an insight into what kind of caster they were meant to be, so they made sure to, as they traveled by air to the column, memorize the sensation of move being depleted. The hex they picked out was the most infantry-heavy one, with only two siege towers, four battle bears, and eighty one stacks of infantry level units, thirty of them archers and about a quarter of the lot being Luckless elves. Given that they were the ones that Tanya decided to attack, this moniker was accurate. The other hex Tanya had considered had Schlemiel elves instead, but apparently they had bonus hits, so they were particularly suited to soaking special attacks and the blows of heavies, which increased the projected dwagon attrition by 50%. Issuing orders was apparently a complex skill, but Tanya didn''t find it too difficult to execute. "On my mark, opening volley!" She shouted, before pointing straight at the most exposed battle bear and shouting "Fire!" Despite only saying those words, the intent was communicated along the psychic connections they shared as unit and commander, with the uncroaked warlords acting as a repeater. The orders referred exclusively to yellow dwagons using their battlecrap special to attack the designated target, with the follow-up triggering that volley with a precise designation. Pointing was more of a flourish than anything else, but there was a certain visceral satisfaction with looking down the length of their blade towards something that promptly died. The sword was surprisingly nice. Wanda explained that it was something the foolamancer, Jack, had in his quarters as a gift he never got the chance to give. It was a genuine katana, if a bit larger relative to their size than the bokkens that they were used to, even after it shrank to match their tiny little girl hands, and it shined with lethal intent and apparently a +3 bonus. After a few dozen test swings to analyze their sword forms, the Count confirmed that Tanya did possess, or effectively possessed with their kendo skill, the combat rating of a typical level 1 warlord, which is 6. So they should be able to croak things with it. The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings. Tanya felt a little awkward using a weapon clearly meant for a specific person that was not them, but the summoning spell didn''t feel the need to arm them, and they did order the others to find the best sword in the city It was also a little strange to see someone prepare a sword as a romantic gift, but this was a world that functions like a war game it was probably a normal or even extravagant gift to a warlady. Or he just fell in love with a sword swinging madwoman, but it was probably the cultural thing. Still, each battle bear had a 86.432% chance of destruction after each of the eight yellow dwagons crapped out two shots. "Do not dive!" Tanya ordered as they spotted Sir Leeroy Jenkins'' stack about to close into archery range. One, two, three, and four zeroed out battle bears. With that handled, Tanya brought out the third scroll of the turn. Foolamancy was a bit more complicated to use through a scroll than other disciplines, due to the fact that the caster needed to, at least a little, think like a foolamancer when directing the magic. As Headmaster Isaac explained, the basic gist of it is that you needed to firmly picture the objective reality in front of you and then make a specific change in how it is perceived. "Mirrororrim!" Tanya shouted as their stack went one way and the appearance of their stack went the other. As they slowly descended, the unled archers immediately unloaded their bows on the image, completely missing Tanya''s stack. Going from maximum height down to ground level gave the archers two attacks against the diving units, but Tanya''s display wasted three rounds of ammunition before they ordered the dwagons to unleash their breath weapons. "Breathe!" She started, before continuing with "Release!" The foolamancy dispelled as both the gas-spewing greens and sonic-shouting purples in all three stacks unleashed their breath, as the unveiled stacks had rushed down after Tanya had attracted attention. "Burn!" Tanya ordered, prompting the reds to explode the toxic gas clouds with their own breath, croaking even more soldiers. The archers, much diminished, got two full volleys of arrows into the hides of the dwagons before they were able to repeat the deed. There wasn''t exactly a good chance for those arrows to inflict damage, but sheer quantity winnowed at the hits of the stacks as they prepared to breathe again. After four rounds of breath, the number of troops remaining was small enough that Tanya ordered the stacks to land and start engaging in traditional combat. As expected, Tanya''s sword was able to easily cut through the flimsy armor that the infantry possessed, with the uncroaked warlords and hobgobwin knights experiencing similar amounts of success. Eventually, the engagement was finished and the siege towers dismantled, without a single dwagon casualty. Although it was rather close in several cases the stack without either Tanya or Wanda engaged the remaining luckless elves in melee, and while they took out those easily enough, but then they inexplicably took several more hits that inflicted damage from the other infantry than the other two stacks. It seemed suspicious As the last infantry fell, Tanya felt a sudden rush of power. Before they even checked their stack''s points, they knew what this meant. They leveled up! It was a glorious experience, difficult to put into words. They heard a high-pitched gigging, before releasing it was them who were laughing. Now for the final step of phase one. The four pink dwagons had each managed to incapacitate a dozen units each, so Tanya giddily skipped over to the prisoners, practically floating as they walked. Lets see if I can level again! They shouted happily, slicing off the head of a stabber. On the thirty-fifth infantry head falling on the ground, they smiled. There it was again! That glorious rush of power! DING! They cried out, tears of happiness forming as they bounced in place, dancing in celebration while laughing wildly. Gratz. Wanda said drily. Tanya looked over at the other units that came to battle, seeing the hobgobwin knights all bunched up, crouching behind the small caster and her coterie of uncroaked warlords. Ah, it was too soon to celebrate. It was strange, one would think that a war maniacs paradise like this one wouldnt be so squeamish about executing prisoners. Tanya took a few deep breaths, continuing to do so until the giggles and laughter subsided, the adrenaline leaving their system. Cutting off the last stabbers head calmly, they turned back to the group. Right. Get ready for phase two. They ordered, which had Wanda starting to cast as the other units all moved to the central area where the battle bear bodies were. Trioxin. Wanda intoned, with each and every unit that was croaked rising as the weakest variety of uncroaked, with only one combat and defense, and six hits each. Which meant the pikers were actually at full strength. Automagically, the archers had their bows and arrows all turn into thick clubs to reflect their new status as melee units. As Wanda focusing on animating the massive quantities of bodies, Tanya sorted the dwagons, flying in the sky with arrows, spears, and swords sticking out of their bodies, and sizable chunks carved away. None of these otherwise serious wounds bled a single drop of blood, which made the injuries look utterly fake. Still, they inspected each one for their remaining hits and split them into two groups: ones with more than twenty hits, and ones with less than that. This lowered the amount of available dwagons from thirty-four to twelve. Unfortunate. The Yellows were all separated into a bomber stack, led by Archduke Ferdinand, the most unfortunately named one of the bunch if you asked Tanya, while the remaining nine dwagons who had those hits were loaded up with the highest level knights and Sir Leeroy. The thirteen remaining heavily injured dwagons were put into a single stack with Lady Phat-Singh. Organization finished, Tanya walked right next to Wanda and brought out the next scroll. Dance fighting was an unusual mechanic, in Tanyas opinion. Turning your battle into a musical really shouldnt make you better at fighting, but for magical reasons, it worked. When you were dance fighting, the stack bonus was instead replaced with a Rhyme-o-mancy modifier, which was different based on circumstances. This meant that unled stacks had a massive disadvantage in a dance-fight, as they can no longer rely on the stack bonus to bolster their pitiful combat and defense. Normally, uncroaked couldnt dance fight, but Wandas ability to empower uncroaked with her magic allowed her to bypass this limitation. However, Wandas rhyme-o-mancy modifier suffered immensely when her troupe (the usual term for the super-stacks that occur when dance-fighting) constituted anything other than uncroaked, if she was the leader of the dance. However, given that Stanley and his knights were fantastic at dance-battles, there was always a possibility that Stanley would order her to lead his knights in one. For when those circumstances came to pass, she had acquired a Rhyme-o-mancy scroll to allow any caster to lead a troupe in Rocking Out. Wanda had dressed up specifically for this part of the plan, wearing a leather jacket and ripped jeans with a spiked belt and wristbands as she wore the same black and white face paint of the hobgobwin knights. Tanya had taken their hair out of the buns that the makeup spell put it in and kept it down and messy, with their own outfit consisting of blue jeans, a white tank top, and a white leather jacket, which looked vaguely silly on Tanyas eight year old frame. Actually did it shrink? Tanya swore it didnt show that much stomach when they first put it on. And while it wasnt exactly baggy before They suspect theyll need magic or knives to get these pants off. Such magic probably existed, but they were not this tight before the battle. No matter. Tanya readied the scroll and marched into the next hex of the column, with three siege towers and six battle bears backed up with seventy-four stacks of infantry, including the unfortunate schlemiel elves. Scroll in hand, she shouted its command phrase: Hail to the one true Queen! The hobgobwins roared in response. With that, the familiar sensation of a drum beat thrummed through their body. Ah, karaoke. How they missed it. The words sprung to their mind, and their body twitched to lead them in the dance. Tanya began to sing: The Queen walked on down the street, with her hair hung way down low. Aint no sound but the sound of her troupe, dwagons ready to go! The uncroaked, with Wanda providing her full caster bonus of +8, Ensign Toast providing his +5, and Tanya providing +2 more from their new in-hex Chief Warlord bonus, were absolutely overwhelming the comparatively pitiful +3 from Ansoms bonus. The Rhyme-o-mancy bonus of the enemy was zero, of course, but between Tanya, Wanda, and the hobgobwins synergizing outfits, combined with the Master-class Croakamancy allowing the uncroaked to properly dance along, meaning that the only one in the stack that didnt have the dance-fighting special was Tanya. When backed by the scroll (which also granted Tanya that special), it was an impressive +5. The uncroaked may have been weak, but with bonus piled on bonus, they both outnumbered the enemy infantry and could trade at unfair exchange rates. The only sticking point was the battle bears Which was why the dwagons entered the hex at high elevation, first the strong stack to croak the fliers, then the yellow stack to bombard the battle bears as they waded through their allied infantry. Following an odd impulse, Tanya looked up, right at a single bat that was flying on the other side of one of the hex borders, the one that led to one of the three strong hexes in front. Are you ready? Hey are you ready for this? Are you sitting at the edge of your throne? Off the mountain, the dwagons crap, to the sound of the beat, yeah! Right at that point, the yellows scored three critical hits and no misses on the second battle bear, croaking it in one volley rather than two. Tanya continued singing the song magically placed within their heart. Another one bites the dust. Another one bites the dust. And another one down, and another one gone, another one bites the dust! Hey, Im going to get you too, another one bites the dust! Tanya kept singing, staying at the center of their hobgobwin honor guard as Wanda strummed an air guitar to accompany the song. The four remaining battle bears had reached the front lines of the conflict, and crushed eleven uncroaked in their opening attacks. Tanya started approaching them, their honor guard approaching as well. Through the magic of Rhyme-o-mancy, and possibly date-a-mancy, the mosh pit of uncroaked parted without missing a single dance step as the knights prepared to accomplish their primary purpose: croaking heavies. How do you think were going to get along, without you when youre gone? We took out everything we had, and kicked you back to the box! Are you happy? Are you satisfied? How long can you stand the heat? The other dwagons descended to the back lines of the battle, where the archers were, and unleashed more gas, sound, and fire on them. The hobgobwins scored great blows on the battle bears, and even Tanya got a sword slice inbetween stanzas. Off the mountain, the dwagons crap to the sound of the beat, look out! On cue, the injured battle bear fell to the battlecrap assault. Tanya continued to sing. Wanda did, in fact, have a scroll of mass uncroak on hand, personally penned by her hand over several turns, as the juice cost of scrolls becomes more and more inefficient as the complexity of the spell rises. After the battle, Tanya felt it. That surge of power. Another level up! This was the best feeling. It was even better than the last two times! They barked out another laugh as the tiny ding noise announced the feat. Yattai! They shouted. Unfortunately, the last phase of the plan waited for no one. Tanya focused on Maggie. As Maggie was monitoring the situation, she instantly came in contact. fifteen stacks lost. Tanya reported. It was a higher number than it should have been, a rash of bad rolls after the schlemiel elves croaked. A troupe of 820 uncroaked versus the third hex? Maggies response was quick, which was mostly because of the odd interactions of time between different hexes. Tanya very much liked the idea of not needing to wait much when it came to getting things done. They always hated loading bars. 60.253% chance for a victorious engagement without the use of the offensive scrolls or dwagons. With the dwagons, that improves to an 84.764% chance. With the scrolls, 71.034%. With both, 92.931%.* Tanya grinned. They liked those odds. Chapter 4 In hindsight, attacking that third hex was probably not worth it. Sure, they won, taking three more siege towers off the board along with their battle bear escort, but Tanya got a little too eager: Six of the dwagons croaked, along with five knights and Lady Phat-Singh. They had to use uncroaked to destroy two of the battle bears, as the dwagons completely ran out of breath uses, even the yellows, with very low hits remaining. Well, they ended up abandoning the hundred or so uncroaked that survived the battle, but they were disposable so no one cared, and the bodies of the knights were recovered for Wanda to uncroak back at the city. Ansom will take care of them on the enemy turn. Maybe hell use the Arkenpliers to do so, so he can have one last engagement with them. Tanya did, however, move the uncroaked into a slightly less convenient position for Ansom, not that they expected it to amount to anything. All of this was made worse by the simple fact that Tanya didnt even level! Wanda got most of the leadership experience from the third hex. Really, they should have suspected something fishy was going on; apparently getting a drug-like high on level up was unusual, and probably a property of the Summon Perfect Warlord spell incentivizing them to risk their life. The worst part of that particular trick was it worked. But still the first topic that was brought up on Tanyas return to Gobwin Knob was You got taller. Count Harbinger immediately pointed out. What? You are five inches taller now than you were when you left. He inspected Tanya carefully, looking them up and down. Also, you have not scaled up evenly. Your hips have grown fifty percent more, proportionately, than your shoulders. Tanya was baffled. Headmaster Isaac emotionlessly conjured an illusory mirror, showing Tanya their own appearance. ...Ive grown up. Tanya said, surprised. Tanya was supposed to be eight years old, and they looked the part. One could mistake them for even younger, in fact. But now? The image in front of them was that of a ten to twelve year old girl, a pre-teen rather than a child. The rock star outfit that Tanya was wearing had stretched, but did not tear, so Tanya suspected that it magically grew a little bit. It must be a side-effect of leveling up. Tanya concluded. At a guess, three levels means three years? So theyre eleven now? Ive never seen such an extreme signamancy deviation from simple levels. Countered Isaac. But that is a workable theory. He added. Bringing in a consultant to analyze your signamancy can be done tomorrow. Yes. Tanya agreed. They were curious what kind of information they could get from such a thing Our highest priority to accomplish before the turn''s end is to see if I can access my juice and attempt to cast a spell. Indeed. Isaac said. That you are both a caster and warlord is no longer in doubt, your facility with those scrolls says enough on that front. We discussed what kind of magic would best suit you while you were gone. Sizemore spoke up next, still not completely comfortable sharing his thoughts to senior leadership but Isaac subtly prompted him to in a feat of nonverbal communication that impressed Tanya. Isaac would fit in well in a boardroom. From our discussions, I think you would be most suited to moneymancy, or some other Numbers axis discipline. That was something Tanya would agree with. They always had a good head for numbers. Do we have any contacts from that discipline? They asked. Count Harbinger smiled, which caused Tanya to reflexively check the mans hands for weapons. As it happens, Im quite adept at moneymancy. The Gild Bank is very powerful. Headmaster Isaac added. Learning moneymancy would ordinarily be quite difficult, but Kurt is under our protection, so he is the only non-clevermancer in the Magic Kingdom to have extensive knowledge of the discipline. Magical politics is quite cutthroat, apparently. My knowledge of moneymancy and foolamancy has gotten me something of a reputation, Im afraid. Count Harbinger said forlornly. If you hear any stories about The Numbers Man, most of them are complete fabrications. Tanya tilted their head. How did you learn? They asked. Count Harbinger frowned deeper. A lady friend of mind, Countess Fortuna, taught me the basics. She was a Luckamancer, so she was able to acquire such knowledge. Tanya thought back to the chart she was given. Luckamancy was erf axis clevermancy, and cross-axis casting is supposedly much easier than cross-class. The rest is just natural talent and hard work. Ah, talented people who work just as hard as her. Her one weakness. Where should we begin, then? Tanya asked. The same place wed start any discipline: sensing it. Count Harbinger said. Now, the most fundamental moneymancy sense a commander has is their own purse. Do you have anything in your purse? Tanya resisted the urge to fidget. What was a purse, in this context? No. They said, somewhat ashamed. You should be able to, given that were in your capital, draw shmuckers into your purse. Youre level four, so your purse should have a limit of four thousand shmuckers. Count Harbinger said patiently. Issuing commands through the pseudo-telepathic game interface this world possessed was, as usual, quite simple. Immediately after ordering two thousand shmuckers to be deposited in their purse, they became aware of its existence, much like how they became aware of that Rand. Moneymancy spells fit into four broad categories. Count Harbinger continued. There is no make shmuckers spell. The rule is that you have to spend money, to make money. Wait, investing is a thing? No wait, of course it is. Upgrading cities spends money and increases income. When you spend shmuckers, a moneymancer can supplement the payment with their own juice, providing a discount by making more shmuckers as they are spent. No, the expression was just much more literal here. The second category is enabling the conversion of value. Turning shmuckers into something useful and turning something useless into shmuckers. Tayas eyes flicked to the body of Misty, the lookamancer. Exactly. Count Harbinger confirmed. The third category is analysis, sensing the flow of value and gathering useful intelligence from that. Auditing, then. Finally, there is the optimization of a sides income. Theres plenty of things that cost shmuckers that arent really necessary. You could, for instance, treat your units more like prisoners, lowering the quality of their rations to discount their upkeep. That sounded like a terrible idea that would compromise their fighting strength. Count Harbinger chuckled. I see you dislike the idea of that last category. A common sentiment among royals, I didnt expect it from you. They claim a responsibility to their units, such magic would be a violation of their Titanic mandate. Even if the common infantry is of questionable sapience, an army marches on its stomach. Tanya pointed out. Inadequate provisions would impede their fighting strength. Headmaster Isaacs eyes twinkled with interest. Sapience such an interesting word. He spoke as if he were tasting the word, understanding it without needing to ask. It was somewhat unsettling. A commanders Duty has always separated it from common infantry, but that word He smiled deliberately. Thank you for that. Well, that was strange. Moving on, the turns grown late. What spell are we going to try first? Tanya said impatiently. Many spells cannot be cast effectively off-turn, so it was prudent to get some in before the turn ends. Well start with having you evaluate a gem. He said, a fist-sized emerald manifesting in his hand, sparkles of magic coalescing into the shape. Once you can sense the number of shmuckers within the gem without breaking it, you will be ready to attempt to create one of your own. Tanya glanced at the gem. Their earrings immediately displayed an evaluation screen, as they usually tended to do when they examined anything closely. [Small Gem 294/10000S] Headmaster Isaac frowned. Your earrings can evaluate items? He asked curiously. At Tanyas confusion, he elaborated. Stat boards are natural foolamancy. Anyone whos practiced the discipline can see it. Count Harbinger hummed. Well, take them off and Ill make a different one. He crushed the gem in his hand, before replacing it with an identical-looking one. Tanya took out one of their earrings and tried again. As she focused, Count Harbinger continued to guide her through the process. The fundamental insight of moneymancy is that everything can be boiled down to a single number: what is it worth? Shmuckers do not truly exist. You cannot hold them in your hand, you cannot see them. They are a representation, an objective assessment of value. Tanya knew all of these things to be true. Even yen, marks, and dollars were only representative of value, any use one could get from the bills and coins themselves were purely incidental, and shmuckers were more of a bank account. Ones and zeros. Gems were, as far as Tanya could tell, the closest thing one could get to holding shmuckers, but as their earrings showed, they were merely containers. Jars that held value, mere brackets in the grand addition equation of an assets listing. But after looking at it, Tanya could tell that these were not a binary system, with ones and zeroes. It was a unary system, there were only ones. They weren''t quite sure how they knew this, but it made sense to them. How many ones were held in this container? How long was the numerical string? They tried her best to count them, but it was too difficult. They kept losing track, like they were looking at an electron cloud rather than anything that could be counted. . You need to use your juice. Count Harbinger said. How? Headmaster Isaac spoke up without any nonverbal warning. ...Does she know how to use juice? A moment of silence passed as all present digested the question. ...How is that even possible? Count Harbinger asked. Its interesting, isnt it? Headmaster Isaac replied, his eyes sparkling with interest. Casters who deal with cross-class magic should be used to not knowing things that freshly popped casters know innately, but if you extend that to subjects that every caster should know How do you explain using juice to a warlord? Not what its like to use juice, but how to use it? Tanya twitched. This is going to be a difficult obstacle. Suddenly, horns resounded throughout the city of Gobwin Knob. The turns ended. Sizemore pointed out. Count Harbinger destroyed his gem. Well return tomorrow morning. Headmaster Isaac assured. Come on, Kurt. Were in danger if we stay here. The odds of something penetrating the defenses were incredibly low, but Tanya didnt begrudge them their caution. With a thought, Tanya authorized the portion of their payment that the contract specified was due this turn. It wasnt Signed like the one with Prince Ansom, so they had to do that manually. Tanya walked towards the balcony. Without the eyemancer link, they were essentially blind as to enemy movements, and the Headmaster only had dregs of juice, so he could not have provided that service. Hell make an updated map of the battlespace next turn, as per their agreement, but for now? They could only wait. ------------------------ [Prince Ansom Lunesta of Jetstone, Level 10 Chief Warlord, Heir to Jetstone] Three hexes of the column, gone! Exclaimed Duke Nozzle, of Sofa King. Two elf tribes were wiped out, too. Odie Ose, the leader of the elves, pointed out. We need to reorder the column. The elves were just detachments from the sides they were allied with, so it wasnt any more of a loss than any other side losing all of their forces that were sent here, but Odie talked up the protective qualities of the Luckless and Schlemiel elves specials. Having to invade without those will likely cause additional casualties among the knights and commanders, if he was understanding them correctly. If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. In hindsight, perhaps he got a little too complacent with Stanleys general incompetence. Tanya had seen a flaw in his columns composition and took full advantage. She must have hired a Lookamancer to evaluate the column. Stanley the Worm has somehow found leadership more competent than he. Ansom announced. I suspect that this Tanya Degurechaff to be a noble, or even royal, warlady leftover from King Salines reign, like Archduke Ferdinand or Lady Phat-Singh." The fact Stanley was willing to let them use their titles while Tanya could not was a big hint that she could be a royal. The fact that Ferdinand was already known could be the reason why he was not given such an order, while a freshly popped princess The war table exploded into chatter as everyone tried to say their peace. After a few seconds without signs of stopping, Ansom slammed his fist on the table. Once everyone was looking at him, Ansom continued. I admit to the possibility of being mistaken. He began. But Tanya had not just declined to state their title, but claimed that she was forbidden to speak of it. Being a noble in service to Stanley the Worm would fit that. Further, she seemed to mostly hew to courtly etiquette, as abbreviated as it is over thinkagram, and further demonstrated an understanding of diplomacy and war that far exceeded any common warlord. Suddenly, a thought occurred to Ansom. In fact no one knows the story of how Stanley succeeded King Saline. Its entirely possible that he was promoted to become Regent, and Tanya is the Princess that was due to be popped when the King croaked. The expressions of the royal warlords all darkened at that. Such a betrayal was entirely possible, and completely within the borders of Stanleys depravity. Vinny Doombats, the Transylvito representative, spoke up first. We shouldnt be wasting time on whether this chick is or is not a princess. He said, to general agreement. What matters is that shes strong, shes smart, and she can use scrolls. How is she doing that? Lady Sylvia Lazarus, the Unaroyal representative, spoke up immediately: Its carnymancy. She said confidently. Prince Jeftichew cast it on me once. It only lasts a turn, and he said that a warlord wouldnt be able to use the scrolls to their full effect, but if they spent a bunch of shmuckers in the Magic Kingdom She trailed off. Shes spending everything she can to chip away at our forces. It isnt a problem, we still have plenty. We should take steps to impede them in spending more money. Countess Azure said, the FoxMUD representative. Lean on the barbarian casters to refuse service or gouge them. Good idea. Ansom complimented. He was going to suggest something similar, but hes led enough multi-side alliances to know that this was easier. Send messages to your respective sides to that effect. That croakamancer is Master-class, definitely. Observed the Countess. I didnt expect to see dance-fighting uncroaked. We need to change the battleplan, Prince Ansom. Duke Nozzle said, his polite demeanor strained. Invading the tunnel system a turn early is just going to give them thousands of dance-fighting troops. Well, unless theyre out of scrolls. Odie pointed out. But yeah, hold back the marbits and diggers for an extra turn. Invade the tunnels with the rest of the invasion. Seeding the tunnels a turn early provided many advantages, but they were right: it did not outweigh the potential for them to croak the lot and use that force as uncroaked defenders. That warlady looked like she was trying to Rock Out with those hobgobwins even after the scroll expired. Vinny said, brow furrowing. You know, before they started fighting that battle bear. Do we know how nasty those tunnels are? Questioned Sylvia. It would really suck to have taken the city before they could even reach the garrison. It was a serious concern. Tunnel systems in high level cities were frequently so labyrinthine that it took half the turn to even reach the dungeon zone, and that was without any resistance at all. Preventing that being a problem was the point of the pre-invasion, so no. Ansom replied. After spending half the turn discussing how to adjust the column to make repeat attacks less fruitful and the new order of battle for the invasion proper, they started issuing their orders. The column advanced, seven hexes of road passing beneath their feet as the siege towers trundled along. Ansom had another duty. Vinny accompanied him in the short flight over to the rendezvous point, his bats leading the way. I gotta say, yer honor, Im not a fan of you gambling that tool for the barbarian chickie. He frowned. Don Kings got an even worse opinion on th matter. I know, Vinny. Ansom said. But while I had no proof, I knew that Jillian was royal. Its not something you can just hide. Tanya was, too. He knew it. You know as well as I that without attunement, the arkenpliers are just a very nice weapon. Its not giving up much. Further, its providing a way for Tanya to turn without giving Stanley a chance to stop her. Right. The new girl. Vinny said, unamused. Blonde, good with a sword, crazier than a stack of bats. Vinny chuckled. Yeah, sounds like your type alright. Vinny Ansom said warningly. Look, you think any hot chick that you like is a secret princess or whatever, not that Ive seen her up close to judge. Vinny said as he floated along. Just one more hex. I know its too late to change yer mind, but if you end this with zero arkentools, dont say I didnt tell you so. It suddenly occurred to Ansom that his father may have promised one of the arkentools to an ally as incentive. Transylvito may very well be that ally. Was Vinny warning him about the diplomatic disaster that was looming? Ill take responsibility for my own actions. He said decisively. I do not regret my decision. Yet. With the arkenpliers left on the rock designated by the agreement, Ansom flew back to the columns new position. Doubt creeped in. Was Tanya deceiving him? Was Jillian actually a princess, or was she merely playing on his hopes and dreams? How would she even know about them? It was too late to second-guess matters. May the Titans preserve him, if this truly was foolishness. -------------------------- [Tanya Degurechaff, Level 4 Chief Warlord of Gobwin Knob] Really? Is that what its like? Sizemore asked. Tanya shrugged. I couldnt tell you whether my experience was unique or not. They explained. But given that I was summoned instead of properly popped, I wouldnt count on my life before popping being the usual way of things. I suppose its not that important right now. Admitted Sizemore. We can talk about it later. Im sure Janis would find the whole thing fascinating. Developing their backstory was a long-term concern, but they couldnt do anything short-term until they figured out how to use juice. Currently, their story was taking full advantage that no one actually knows what its like before popping, and just saying that they were only halfway through the popping process when they were summoned. They had their points and specials, they were commanders, but anything more specific was locked behind the second half of the popping process, which included knowledge of what their specials were. Like a premature birth. The primary flaw behind this story was that it provokes existential crises if one considers the fact that popping was not actually the start of life, but prevaricating on whether or not what happened to them was what happens to everyone seemed to largely allow people to accept it as unreliable anecdotal evidence rather than anything more serious. What are you going to do now? Sizemore asked. Tanya was very familiar with the feeling of restlessness that came from not doing anything productive. It was a constant companion for the last eight years. Knowing that the feeling was reinforced with the natural thinkamancy of Duty was unpleasant, but they certainly knew a few people back in Japan that could surely use this kind of enforced motivation. ...I think Ill have a few words with the prisoner. They decided. Who was the woman that Prince Ansom was so enamored with? Wanda wasnt particularly thorough with her assessment of Ansoms mentality, so hearing Princess Zamussels own words could prove insightful. Walking up and down the many stairs in Gobwin knob was not an experience that Tanya would recommend. The only good thing they could say about the experience was that their legs were not that much shorter than the standard length, so they didnt have much of a problem with the size of the steps like they did the church steps back in the Empire. Being short sucked. Tanya saw Wanda strut out of the dungeon towards the Magic Kingdom portal as she approached the Princess cell. Princess Zamussels was kept in a fairly standard-looking jail cell, with a hole to squat over and a board attached to the wall that pretended to be a bed. Gobwin Knob did not have modern indoor plumbing. She seemed in a relatively good mood for someone who spent the last remnants of the turn in the company of Wanda. Eh? Oh, its you. Clearly, the Princess manners had atrophied in the years since her kingdom fell. Yes, Its me. Tanya said in reply. Tanya Degurechaff, Chief Warlord of Gobwin Knob. And you are Princess Jillian Zamussels of the former kingdom of Faq, was it? The Princess scowled at the address. Great, she told you. What do you want? Tanya furrowed their brow in confusion. Why wouldnt Wanda tell me? I ordered her to tell me everything relevant that she knew about you. Princess Zamussels spat. Because it wasnt relevant. She said ruefully. Tanya disagreed, and Wanda apparently did too if she provided that information. Well, I just thought Id come get your measure before we release you next turn. Tanya said idly. That got the Princess attention. What? Why would you do that? Princess Zamussels asked, incredulously. Because Prince Ansom was willing to pay a ransom for you, of course. Tanya said, smiling softly. Youll be deposited a mere three hexes away from his column next turn. In the meantime, I thought we could have a conversation. Ugh, listen to you. Princess Zamussels said in disgust. I thought we could have a conversation. She imitated mockingly. Titans, Father would have loved you. Tanya was beginning to understand that this rudeness may just be the Princess personality. Well, lets chat then. First, whats the baddest thing youve croaked with your own blade? Well, if thats how she wants to play this? Okay, what did she know about the princess? She was a mercenary, she was completely convinced of her own invincibility If Ansom didnt save your overplump keister this morning, it would have been you. Tanya said, glaring at Princ-no, at Jillian the mercenary. Jillian startled back, as if she didnt expect Tanya to match her manners. What? I would have croaked you for even thinking about it! She insisted. Tanya scoffed. Executing prisoners is free experience. Tanya said icily. Wanda said that Fate would intervene to ensure your safety. They weren''t so sure. I counted on it, to convince Ansom to pay any price for your release. Wandas explanation on how Fate worked it was interesting, if probably unreliable. It seemed to rely on Predictamancy, where if you acted to fulfill a prophecy, the magic of the prediction aided your endeavors. Meanwhile, trying to go against a prediction instead turned that magic against you. Jillian was Predicted to ascend to the throne of Faq, therefore Fate would not allow her to be croaked until she accomplishes this task. According to their earrings, Jillians combat as a level 9 royal warlord allied with Ansoms coalition was an impressive 25. A normal level 4 warlord with Tanyas in-hex bonus, which Tanyas combat rating probably matched, only had 14. If Jillian did escape her bonds, even with the unarmed penalties, she had a very real chance of successfully beating Tanya to death with her bare hands. At least, if the numbers of this wargame fully applied to them. They probably did. Fortunately, selling off Jillian to Ansom achieved multiple objectives. Wandas full of crap. Jillian insisted. Easy way, hard way, shes insane. Hrm, on one hand, this was a differing opinion that matched Tanyas initial opinions about the magical hooey, but on the other hand, the magical experts all seemed to more or less agree that Predictamancers really did see the future. Headmaster Isaac, the most learned of the lot, was the one that posited the theory that Predictamancys magic enforced their own prophecies in the same way that a Luckamancer can influence random outcomes, which was an explanation for Wandas philosophy that made a lot more sense than the idea that in a world where caster was an indelible feature of a person, that there was an entire school of magic that didnt actually do anything. While Wandas sanity is surely an excellent topic, I thought wed discuss something more typical. Tanya said. Tell me about Ansom. That arrogant popinjay? Jillian asked incredulously. What about him? Now to plant some more seeds. He seemed to think youd listen to him. Tanya said. I was wondering what kind of man he was to earn your loyalty. Jillian choked back laughter. Me? Listen to Ansom? It takes more than a pair of earnest blue eyes and perfect blonde hair to get me to pay attention, much less obey. Tanya raised an eyebrow at the assertion. I do what he says because Im being paid to do it, got it? Its called being a mercenary. Tanya smiled. That was a good lead in. Well, Im sure youll enjoy the perfect position for a mercenary, then: getting paid to sit around and drink while others fight. ...what. Jillian said flatly. Ansom was not willing to pay what you were actually worth. Tanya explained, But I was willing to give him a discount if he swore to keep you away from the battle. As the aerial commander of the RCC forces, your absence will cripple their ability to contest our dwagons, and while I could have just croaked you Tanya waved their hand vaguely. If you werent going to fight Gobwin Knob forces, I was willing to accept a much smaller concession. All he needs to do is make sure that you stay far away from the battle. As expected, Jillian badly tried to conceal her subterfuge. Well, if Im getting paid to do nothing, clearly thats what Ill do. Yep. Gotta pay that upkeep, gwiffons arent cheap to feed, you know? Compared to dwagons, they were. They didnt get to say much, but Tanya liked to think they had the mercenarys measure after that conversation. It may be a bit of a snap judgment, but princess who liked being a mercenary better was something Tanya could work with. The plan was working as intended Chapter 5 There doesnt appear to be any surprises here. Headmaster Isaac said as he finished putting the finishing touches on the map he was projecting with foolamancy. The lackeys were dutifully arranging the physical map to match it. Theyve re-arranged the column to counter your tactic, but otherwise have decided to keep going. The Arkenpliers are still there, untouched. Excellent. Tanya replied, Wanda, deliver the prisoner, then return with the pliers. They looked at their new weapon. If she attunes, that makes two powerful weapons that have fallen into our laps. Yes, about that. Count Harbinger interrupted. Now that we have our battlemap, what does that wand do? Much like the previous morning with her earrings, Tanya had received another magic item with their breakfast: Some kind of scepter that would find itself right at home as the weapon of a mahou shoujo protagonist. Tanya kind of liked it, although this was entirely because of the fact that it was a lightsaber. First, it has its own juice pool thats equal to my own. Headmaster Isaac hummed with interest. Thats a very potent wand, then. What spells can it perform? According to the instructions? Which were written in Japanese, mind you. Theoretically any shockamancy spell. In practice, only the dozen or so spells that it gave me the magic words to. Which are also all in Japanese. Tanya wondered if the magic of Language meant that they would understand them when they shout Lucky Clover Heart Attack, or if theyll think theyre speaking nonsense? I tested the one that promised to optimize the towers anti-air spells, and it outright halved the space all of those spells took. Strengthened them, too. That is a service that master-class shockamancers provide. Count Harbinger acknowledged. But its not a specific spell that does that, they just take the existing juice and re-cast the spell with their own skills. Can I see? They were already in the Tower zone, so it was just a matter of permission. After a moment, he nodded to himself and cast a spell. According to my calculations, these spells are literally as optimized as possible. I would assume Master-class shockamancy as a minimum for future considerations. As a further benefit Tanya said before performing the trick they learned while experimenting before they showed up: They created a powerball, a ball of light that was used to illuminate surroundings, but also to act as a pseudo-fuel for the operation of certain magic items. Im capable of using my juice now. One of the functions was to draw juice from my own reserves instead of the internal battery, and that permitted me to understand how to access it. They muttered the spell that allowed her to reclaim the juice, Prism capture crystal. within the ball, and the wand losslessly absorbed it despite being full, injecting the excess juice back into their system. Headmaster Isaac frowned. Those are interesting magic words I couldnt understand them. That confirmed that, at least. Tanya hummed. Well, I understand them, so that just makes it less useful as a theft target. After a brief explanation of the spells they gained access to, Count Harbinger ran some battle calculations. Okay, so with you using your juice to take out the air cover and a few of the battle bears, you can repeat your previous turns tactics and take out three additional hexes although that last one may be risky: only a seventy percent chance of success. He tapped the map three times. Also, you would need to hit these hexes in specific. With them being closer, you can do this without exposing your dwagons to a counterattack. Wanda returned to the situation room, cackling while holding up the Arkenpliers. Much like the Arkenhammer that Stanley possessed, it had an otherworldly aura around it, like it was more. This was despite the fact that the hammer resembled a plastic toy for toddlers, the menace it exuded was unignorable. The arkenpliers still looked rather unassuming if you ignored that otherworldly mein, it was merely a pair of needle-nose pliers that were large enough that it didnt look like Wanda would be able to hold them in one hand, but she did. I assume you attuned, as planned? Tanya asked. Yes Wanda said, stroking the titanic hand tool. I do not yet know the magic it possesses, but it has filled me with power. Hm? [Chief Croakamancer Wanda, Level 8] Attack: 24 Defense: 23 Hits: 19 Move: 19 Specials: Croakamancy, Attuned Wow. For a caster, that was absolutely ridiculous. Before her attunement, she only had 11 Attack and 10 defense. Which was still pretty high for a caster, mind you, but she also experienced a massive increase in hits and move. Presumably, most of that increase is the artifact bonus, but still Headmaster. Yes? Can enemy scouts and warlords detect Wandas attunement? Tanya asked. No. He replied. If she refrains from using it as anything but a melee weapon, she should be able to conceal her attunement. In that case, Tanya said, We will preserve the element of surprise. If you figure out what conditions are required to activate the abilities, inform me before using them. Tanya mentally mixed in reasonable exceptions to their orders, which was conveyed through the natural thinkamancy of issuing orders. You did attempt to use them before coming in here, correct? I did. Wanda said, waving it around. It sparkled with red light but it didnt actually do anything. -and I agree with your caution. This is something that must begin momentously, as it is Fated. Tanya narrowed their eyes. Suspicious Well, without knowing what it does, it cannot be incorporated into the plan. If we figure it out, we can use it as a surprise next turn, after theyve adjusted their formation to account for our new master-class shockamancer. Turning to the battle map, Tanya grinned at the representations of the Coalitions numbers. Now, before we go, we should spend some time seeing if we can get that third battles numbers up --------------------------- The Royal Crown Coalition was not led by a dullard. Prince Ansom knew of the dwagons precision strike capability, but his lack of knowledge of croakamancy meant that he assumed that they wouldnt bother wasting effort on the bulk of his forces instead of a targeted assassination towards their leadership. As such, their previous formation made that leadership utterly unassailable, but left the bulk of their forces vulnerable. To fix this, they instead spread out their air power, making an all-out assault on their leadership hex not an impossible mission (24% chance of victory), but the issue remained that they could only utilize the dwagons and knights to attack, which while it was a large fraction of Gobwin Knobs total combat strength, it still lacked the various combat benefits that defenders receive in city combat. Each hex had at least one warlord now, one of the subordinate ones, so as to prevent Tanya from playing the enemy troops like a piano. Some of them picked their position among the air, presumably so as to attempt to croak Tanya or other Gobwin Knob leadership, while others stacked with the battle bears in an attempt to improve their survival and to increase the length of time they live to coordinate the rest of the hex. Clearly, the subordinate warlords were able to exercise their discretion on their order of battle. Tanya preferred to fight the flying warlords, personally. The unipegataurs were an interesting unit, horned centaurs with wings, flying knight-class units that were also mounts. They were incredibly efficient at fighting dwagons, in fact. Each unipegataur had elven knights mounted atop them where they didnt before, further emphasizing their anti-heavy role and allowing the flying knights to spread themselves out much thinner while still remaining powerful. However, they were not heavy. Knights had excellent points in both attack, damage, and defense, but their hits were, in comparison, lacking. Short of commanders, knight-class units had the most upkeep per hit of all the standard unit types. Non-heavy fliers also traditionally had pretty low hits, as Tanya was told. These factors were why that mid-level shockamancers could successfully manage to be the sole anti-air capability a hex has and expect that to work, assuming the enemy did not have access to heavy fliers. With their wand, Tanya was effectively a high level shockamancer. The perfect caster for front-line combat. The goal of their new formation was not to repel Tanyas attack, but instead to bleed out the dwagon supply. Even after they raised an uncroaked army, they still had to clear the airspace before attacking or else those fliers would be able to attack the troupes leadership with impunity. Even without Tanyas new wand, they definitely were operating under the assumption that Tanya could win any one of those air battles. Of course, the real issue was that they didnt actually need any of those weak hexes. Theoretically, they could defeat the garrison of Gobwin knob purely with their original leadership hex and their reinforced front hexes, plus at most three of the more extraneous hexes. They could lose nine of them and still have enough to comfortably win. Nevertheless, all they could do is winnow their forces, so that is what they must do. Tanyas plans to remove Ansoms leadership bonus from them, plus the increasing of their own bonus, will have to make up the rest. Now, to fight. Tanya rode out on another stack of dwagons, stacked as the caster with the only level 6 uncroaked warlord they possessed, who had leveled last turn, Ensign Toast. On a related note, he was also the most disposable, as his decay was so advanced that he possessed only two hits and not a single scrap of flesh, being fully skeletal. Just as before, they detected their own move depleting along with the dwagons, with no other rider having that problem. So they counted them, and their move was impressively high, having reached the column before running out. Drat, they forgot to ask the Count about why they were losing move when riding. The first hex they attack contains what most of them do: an eight-stack of knights with unipegataur mounts, although this one had a ninth carrying a level 3 warlord from Sofa King. In addition, they had the same problematic but still easily defeated complements of air units and massive quantities of archers down below as the first invasion, and between that, their speed, and their wide formation, it would be difficult to properly target them with breath attacks. Stanleys whores! The warlord shouted. Introductions, then? Tanya taunted, turning to the Ensign. Well, hes Sofa King, Toast. Laughing at their own pun, Tanya pointed their new weapon at the enemy formation. Friendship Rainbow Nova! they shouted in Japanese, thankful that no one else could understand the activation. Despite the name being accurate in that it shot out a wave of rainbows, it was actually a wide-area projection of overwhelming awe, stunning and inflicting mental damage. With that pause in their evasive maneuvers, the blue dwagons were able to line up shots and skewer the knights through their orly screen. Its the one advantage to the narrow aperture, it was much more difficult to screen than the other varieties. While the breath attacks didnt completely croak the stack, it was good enough that Tanyas follow-up finished things off: Binding Heart Chain Flash! She shouted as the incredibly accurate but relatively low-powered and inefficient lightning attack hopped from target to target, completely frying the few remaining hits left in their stack without them inflicting a single hit of damage to the dwagons. Tanya grinned as the rush of a level up elevated their heart rate, a high that they could only attempt to compare to combat stimulants. Level 5 was a very important level for a Chief Warlord, as it increased their in-hex bonus to three and out of hex bonus to two. Sides without a Chief Warlord of at least that level were considered weak and easy to conquer, or at least that was how it was explained to them. Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. Wanting to save their juice, the rest of the air force was defeated more conventionally, with minimal damage to the dwagons, Tanya laughed as they repeated last turns tactics, only mildly adjusted for the minor changes in composition of the ground forces in comparison to then. A single flick of the wrist activated the wands base function, that did not draw from the battery: a blade of light; sharp, lethal, and worth plus ten combat. The familiar sound of a lightsaber activating came with it, and with a wave of their arm, the battle bears plush exteriors opened up like tissue paper instead of the thick canvas it actually was. With a short invocation Sure kill: Sparkle Cut the damage was doubled, as it inflicted both cutting and electrical damage in equal measure at the cost of a small amount of juice. Despite their preparations, Tanya smiled when they saw that the battle concluded with their forces in even better shape than they were after the last turns first battle, despite being lesser in number. Tanya attributed this to their higher leadership rating as well as the increased efficiency of their dealing with the air force. Wanda was ordered to use her discretion to animate the knight-class units while retaining enough juice to uncroak the rest of the hex, and she managed to get seven of the unipegataurs and six of the eager elf knights, and with Ensign Toast leading the stack, that was another stack of dangerous fliers that they could use to fight. It did, however, mean that they had no more spare warlords. Toast with the uncroaked fliers, the Archduke with Wanda on the ground, Tanya with one stack of dwagons, and finally Jenkins and Lord Manpower with the other two stacks of dwagons. The Sofa King Warlords body was claimed and excluded from Wandas spell, but after the reorganization (and Tanya executing a few more prisoners for additional experience), Wanda did another mass uncroaking. Now, Tanya was not going to take odds in the seventies to take a third hex. However, taking a second hex wasnt risky enough. When dealing in asymmetric warfare, you couldnt play things too safely, or youll be wasting your strengths. Which was why Tanya opened up another connection to Maggie: The numbers? they asked, wordlessly conveying the hits of the remaining dwagons, knights, and the new addition to the skirmish force, as well as their new level. Time distortion made her response immediate: To defeat the originally planned second hex, 99.921% chance. Tanya nodded to themselves. To defeat one of the front hexes, 91.206%. To do so without losing any dwagon or living commander, 97.205% and 82.903% Perfect. This was how wargaming is. Maximum gain for minimum risk. The rest is playing the player, not the game. Their enemy was an alliance, and this is something that can be exploited. The front hexes were a very different beast in comparison to the bulk of the army: before, they were unassailable. Unfortunately, the necessity of spreading out the knights and air defenses meant that those front hexes were weaker than they were before, assuming that those hexes were unattractive targets. But if they cant take three hexes, Tanya wanted to make that second hex count. The Royal Crown Coalition actually had three different forms of siege: The previously mentioned battle bears were siege units in their own right, and the siege towers they pushed were a second variety. Third were a mounted unit, weinerrammers. They resembled two meter long dachshunds with massive goat horns, optimized for smashing their heads into things that would break the skull of less specialized creatures. They were non-heavy mounts, not particularly valuable but that just meant there were plenty to go around, with each one mounted by a knight. Well, they used to be each mounted by a knight. Most of those knights were now on unipegataurs, hexes away from the conflict. Further, the previously thick air cover has also been spread out to the other hexes, so it was now only about fifty percent stronger than those. In addition, instead of a morass of infantry, the front hexes also had slow lumbering heavy forest units known as Gumps. They were walking trees, which was simple enough to understand. They were as tough as dwagons and slightly stronger for less than half the upkeep, but they were incredibly slow on all terrain, except for forests, where they were about as quick as regular infantry, and on roads, where they have an odd special of being able to travel two hexes with a single move. They sure could run. On top of those threats, they had large numbers of digger units, mostly the short and squat little pink people known as marbits but also normal infantry diggers, the ones responsible for the tunnel feint that was definitely no longer happening. Friendship Rainbow Nova! Tanya said, infusing even more juice into it this time to hit more targets. The stunned flier stacks were butchered by Ensign Toasts stack as well as coordinated dwagon breath, allowing Tanya to use another spell to deal with the leadership: another warlady from Sofa King, the last one beyond the one that stayed back in the leadership hex. Coincidentally, the bulk of Sofa Kings forces were also in the two hexes they were attacking this turn. Titans! The warlady shouted. What is this witchery? Foolamancy! Close! Tanya shouted back. But close only counts with horseshoes Tanya pointed their wand at the warlady. -and shockamancy! Lucky Clover Heart Attack! a massive bolt of magic shot towards the warlady, croaking her instantly. One of the reasons air cover was so critical was that flying enemies attacking downward bypassed the natural screening a mount gave its rider, making the warlady as vulnerable as any ordinary knight to the attack. That wasnt to say that it would have helped, she was riding a weinerammer and it also croaked just from the overkill of Tanyas blast. With both the warlord in the sky and the one on the ground dealt with, Wandas uncroaked started invading the hex, tearing the hundreds of marbits and few stacks of knights to pieces as the dwagons and knights dealt with the gumps. Without enemy leadership to direct things, Tanya was able to control the engagements to ensure that the enemy knights could not attack the dwagons, and the gumps could not tear too many uncroaked apart. It was still a rough battle, with half of the new uncroaked knights and their mounts being rendered to dust, a single particularly unlucky pink dwagon fell, and three hobgobwin knights falling in the battle. The knights bodies were all claimed and put onto the dwagons, and the spidew forces (giant spider mounts) had enough move to reach the newly destroyed hex and retrieve a large fraction of the bodies, pretty much every non-marbit that was uncroakable, plus a few of the marbits filled in the rest of the capacity. Well, they actually had the remaining uncroaked carry bodies as close to Gobwin Knob as possible, and then the spidews retrieved it all with multiple trips. There really werent that many left, after Lord Manpowers disastrous loss of two thirds of the unit type. The uncroaked were left in the road, too slow to avoid getting run over by the column on the Coalitions turn. As for the rest Tanya took out a scroll. Now that they could sense their own juice, Count Harbinger had enough juice last turn to create a scroll to gain some profit and also give Tanya a lesson in moneymancy. Hillenbrand Stewart Matthews. Tanya announced, paying close attention as the remaining bodies depopped, the value flowing into Tanyas purse. According to Count Harbinger, a units total value was approximately five turns of upkeep. Most methods of extracting value from bodies took only a portion of this value, and wasted the rest, that remainder of value outflowing to the same place it would have gone if it was just allowed to depop. He didnt bother explaining what that place was, calling it advanced knowledge that wasnt useful in the immediate sense. For example, bodies could be eaten by carnivorous beast units like dwagons. Depending on the unit type, this could yield rations to cover one to four turns of upkeep of the unit of question. Certain minor specials, like drain life or bone eater, could allow the extraction of more value than would otherwise be able to be drawn. Particularly edible units, like herbivorous mount units (Count Harbinger expressed particular fondness for the rations spawned from the harvesting of a unit called a Starbuck, a deer-like unit that was exceptionally fast), could even be harvested for rations that could be eaten by regular Men units, and those usually also had the larger yields. This was a simple version of the moneymancy spell. It merely converted rations to shmuckers, which meant that the weinerammers yielded three turns of their upkeep, the marbits two turns, and the men units one turn, based on their edibility by a standard carnivorous beast unit. The scroll ended when their purse filled to the brim, which surprisingly did not actually use up the supply of bodies. Hundreds of marbits multiplied by ten upkeep, doubled yeah they only used up 250 of the marbit bodies and nothing else. Not even half of them. Feast. Tanya instructed, and the dwagons each started eating their fill on the bodies of the fallen. They really wish they knew about this last turn, but apparently Overlord Stanley had made it a policy to save all bodies for Wanda, even when uncroaking said bodies was impractical or even impossible. The weakest level 1 dwagons had three hundred shmuckers per turn of upkeep, and feral ones could subsist entirely on rations, no shmuckers required. Tamed ferals kept this trait and constituted the majority of the dwagon supply, so spending some time after the final battle letting the dwagons eat the bodies of the fallen was a substantial mitigation to the sides expenses. Even that much was not enough to use up all of the value left in the bodies of the fallen, so Tanya just shrugged and made an attempt to repeat the spell on one of the gump bodies. They yielded fruit rations instead of meat, as plant-type units, and after about five failed attempts they just finished harvesting the fruit rations and passed them out to the hobgobwin knights before finally returning to the city. --------------------------- Youve grown again. Count Harbinger commented. Two more inches, with additional growth on your hips, even some chest growth. His words were clinical, uninterested. As if he was a butcher evaluating the readiness of an animal for slaughter. Ive leveled again. Tanya replied. So they were twelve now? While they werent exactly thrilled at maturing in a feminine manner, it was still a step up from being a literal child. Wait. Would they even have Its not like pregnancy is even a thing in this world questions for later. Now, the turns still on, so today Id like to visit the Magic Kingdom. Hold. Wanda said, her voice cutting through all other noise. I have discovered the power of the Arkenpliers. She walked in with another caster, a rotund woman with dark skin wearing an elaborate robe. Who is that? Tanya asked. Ah am Marie Lavraie. The caster said in a thick accent, nodding her head in a tiny bow. Predictamancer. Ah, Wandas predictamancer friend. What do they do? Tanya asked, their curiosity sated. They can be used to create a greater form of uncroaked. Wanda replied, But it is not yet time to make use of it. Tanya did not like the sound of that. I suppose the element of surprise is still valuable. Is the plan to wait to create them until theyre attacking the walls, then? Thats ah good plahn. Marie said, nodding in approval. Making use of them now will not help, only tip Wandas hand. Something seemed off, but Tanya shrugged. Alright, place the bodies in an appropriate place until we need them then. Tanya mentally delegated the spidew forces and a few stacks of infantry to Wandas command to get it done. Are we to continue your education? Count Harbinger asked. Practice moneymancy? No. Tanya replied, walking towards the central pillar of Gobin Knobs tower. My juice would be better spent spelling up this tower. Theoretically, having something else to spend their juice on would be useful but they didnt expect anything better than just using it on Shockamancy within their limited timeframe. Our contract will persist for two more turns, as agreed. I must remain here for the rest of the day, in case they decide that an aerial attack is appropriate. They turned to Marie. Are you here to offer your own services? Ah could. Marie said, Perhaps you want to know if Prince Ansom will attack this turn? Fahve hundred shmuckers. She put up all five of the fingers on one hand. Tanya glanced at Headmaster Isaac. Immediately understanding their inquiry, he waved his hand in a so-so gesture. Three hundred. Tanya counter-offered, brandishing three of their own fingers Four. Marie said, rolling her eyes and retracting her thumb. Deal. Tanya said. Marie cast a spell silently, closing her eyes and nodding. Not this turn. She proclaimed. Logical. Count Harbinger said, butting in. They saw you unload a lot more shockamancy this turn than last turn, and while there are many possible explanations for why you appeared to be using it rather than, say, a mercenary shockamancer, they likely assumed that you had one spell up the tower last turn. Only their flying units can effectively reach, not enough siege to matter to walls as thick as yours. They anticipate a trap. And her testimony is reliable? Tanya asked. As in, she is both correct and not deceiving? Attempting to act as a carnymancer would in my presence would be most unwise. Headmaster Isaac assured them, his expression darkening. As for the reliability of the prediction itself, predictamancy fares poorly with specific time frames as a general rule, but questions about events within one turn are among the simplest forms of predictamancy. Ansom has already decided not to risk a counterattack, or close enough, she is merely informing you of this. Tanya hummed and ordered the treasury to pay Marie. Thats all I need to know then. Ill spend the rest of the day familiarizing myself with the Magic Kingdom. Sizemore had made the offer to show them around at the start of the turn, and this was the perfect chance to follow through. Maggie, keep things running and alert me if needed. Tanya went up the stairs to cast the spells on the tower to use up the bulk of their juice, holding back only one spells worth of juice so they can potentially practice some inexpensive spells in the magic kingdom. Yes, Warlady. Chapter 6 The Magic Kingdom was an interesting place. On the way, Sizemore had warned them that the influence of the royal sides had already been used to prevent them from expanding the number of casters they could contract for the conflict. "Royal sides do war with each other," he explained, "but when someone who was common infantry originally, like Lord Stanley, gets to be a ruler, the Royals like setting aside their differences to team up on them." After a moment, he elaborated: "Ah, they also tend to put alliances together to croak anyone who ends a royal bloodline, which Lord Stanley also did." Well, at least it wasn''t completely a matter of royalism. There was revenge in there, too. "I''m honestly surprised that they didn''t do so already, Stanley doesn''t trust barbarian casters much, and they don''t trust him either." "Couldn''t you vouch for him, though?" Tanya asked. From how uncomfortable he looked as he didn''t answer the question, the answer was apparent, but he said it anyway: "Misty was a barbarian. Maggie recruited her from the Short Pier, and the Magic Kingdom never saw her again. It''s why none of the hippiemancers were willing to enter our portal; people talk, and while the stories are worse than the truth..." Ah, a poor reputation that was earned. Just because the story was worse didn''t make the truth pleasant. "Headmaster Isaac wouldn''t have come if Lord Stanley was still around." The more Tanya hears about Lord Stanley''s decisions, the more they''re glad that he decided to leave when he did. Still, something about that story "What is the Short Pier?" Tanya asked. Sizemore looked even more uncomfortable with this topic than the one about how untrustworthy Stanley was. "It''s a small pier, thus the name, where you can get a good view of the sunrise." He said, dancing around the topic. "It''s the last thing many casters see, the ones who can''t afford next turn''s upkeep." Ah. It''s the local equivalent to a popular suicide spot. Combined with Sizemore''s mention of Maggie rescuing the late Lookamancer from there, they could easily see why such a place would develop: any caster that was feeling charitable knew exactly where to go to save some poor soul from dying of starvation, and those at the end of their rope have an out of the way place to gamble on the altruism of men. The immediate consequences of a single missed meal meant that the number of beggars would naturally be quite low. Tanya had a hard time imagining a worse spot to be in, particularly because they knew that Being X would love it if they found themselves in such a pitiable position. Anyway, the Magic Kingdom was an interesting place. The center was a series of freestanding portals in all kinds of colors, only a vague sense of pulling that they felt towards the Gobwin Knob portal allowing them confidence that they could find it again. Hm, would that sense be Natural Findamancy? Right. Natural Magic. In this world, Erf, there was no such thing as science. Everything was explainable through magic. There were three kinds of magic, in this axis of distinction. First, there was Magic. This was what casters used. Then, there was Natural Magic, which was things like how units healed and got cleaned at the start of turn, natural Healomancy and Dirtamancy respectively, fueled by those unit''s upkeep, natural Moneymancy. Casters could sometimes manipulate the natural magic of their discipline, but it was scattershot. Something like using Dirtamancy to clean was easy, but emulating the Natural Moneymancy of purchasing Natural allies to purchase other kinds of units was considered beyond even master-class moneymancers, although those purchases can be subsidized or accelerated with such magic. Finally, there was Titanic magic. This was the category where, as Tanya understood it, casters just threw up their hands and gave up understanding how it could be accomplished, reserving it instead to their gods, the Titans. The best example of this was when Wanda offhandedly mentioned that the Arkenhanmer turned walnuts into pigeons while Stanley was attempting to crack the nuts with it. This was agreed upon to be some form of Hat Magic, but as there was no actual hat involved it was deemed to be part of the Titanic Stagemancy that the Arkenhanmer possessed, which was mostly encapsulated in the ludicrous Dancefighting bonus it granted. Personally, Tanya just suspected that Hat magicians weren''t as limited to hats as they claim to be. It would fit the stage magician vibes they had going on. "Here we are." Sizemore said, pulling Tanya out of their musings. "The glade of the Hippiemancers." One of the interesting bits about the Magic Kingdom was that it was color-coded: the Island was an octagon where each octant was reserved for one of the eight classes of magic, and each one was demarcated by the logical system of what color are the trees?. Thankfully, the Hippiemancer octant had the normal, green trees, so Tanya had some time to come to terms with the other seven colors. The place was pretty much what Tanya imagined when they thought ''gathering of hippies'', with psychedelic illusions and exotic plants being the centerpieces of gatherings of people of questionable hygiene (although when everyone is magically scrubbed clean every morning, normal hygienic standards would be a bit odd to be concerned with). There were hookahs and alcohol being passed around, and overall the place had a sense of tranquility. It was rather nice, although Tanya sensed some kind of it was hard to describe. Despite never meeting any of these people, nor with any of them knowing who Tanya was, they felt unwelcome. Like a large swathe of the crowd hated them, sight unseen. In fact as they glanced at each person, focusing for just a second, that feeling spiked and ebbed. Was this a magical sense? Tanya glanced at Sizemore, who was happily talking with a matronly woman dressed in a simple green dress. The feeling of unwelcomeness was absent when Tanya looked at her, in fact it was kind of the opposite. It was subtle, Tanya wasnt sure they would have noticed without the hostility to compare it to. -and this is Sizemore paled, as if he realized that he was about to say something that he really shouldnt have. Tanya put their hand out, and the woman shaked it with a smile. Tanya Degurechaff. Shockamancer of Gobwin Knob. The pre-prepared lie came easily, and the woman smiled indulgently, her eyes twinkling with smugness. I am Janis Atlantis, Grand Abbie. She said formally, as if addressing royalty. Grand Abbie was the title for Hippiemancers (Life and Matter elements) that have mastered all three disciplines: Flower Power (Erf), Signamancy (Fate), and Date-a-mancy (Numbers). Its nice to meet you. She looks between Tanya and the crowd. Can you feel it? She asked. What? Feel what? Tanya asked. The heartstrings. Janis replied, I saw you looking nervously at the other hippiemancers, but you didnt feel any hostility, you were reacting to theirs. She tapped her nose. I was popped as a date-a-mancer, you know. Of anywhere in the magic kingdom, it is here that youll find the most casters who hate warlords reflexively. That hatred marks your status more than your Leadership special, when youre in front of me. Ah. You know, then. Tanya said, I did feel some hostility. If thats what you mean. It was rather strange, to go somewhere and feel unwelcome before I even introduce myself. Janis nods knowingly. Its not really spoken of much, but the Magic Kingdoms octants grant a bonus to casting spells of that class, it makes learning out-of-discipline magic easier. While sensing something like that would be one of the easiest possible feats of date-a-mancy, doing it by accident must mean you have some talent with hippiemancy, even with the bonus. She smiles widely. Even with your challenges, its good to see that you hold peace, love, and harmony in your heart. Hrm. I am a peace-loving person, I agree. Tanya said, But what is date-a-mancy? Come with me to my tent, we can discuss magic there. She turned to Sizemore. I have some of those mushrooms you like too, Sizemore. Youre welcome to join us, or to mingle with the others. Sizemore pumped his fist in celebration as he followed us. --------------------------- Janis explanation of Hippiemancy (she didnt stick to just Date-a-mancy) was well, they can make their magic work, so clearly she was correct to a point, but how much of the philosophy and mindset was important? Nevertheless, she spoke of date-a-mancy. The magic of love, emotions. But it was a numbers axis discipline, so it had to be quantifiable. And it was. Each relationship between two people was quantifiable through the heartstring that connects them. Their red thread of fate as it were. Like Mathamancy and Moneymancy, a decent chunk of the actual magic involved was simply number crunching large data sets, collective relationships between many people, and creating a usable output from that data. Heh. Date-a. Tanya decided that they liked date-a-mancy. Apparently, it wasnt popular as the common idea of love was that it was beyond magic, and the proof of that being wrong rubbed some people the wrong way. Boiling down relationships to numerical values unsettled people. Tanya fundamentally disagreed with that mindset and resolved to learn date-a-mancy at their earliest possible convenience. That is, right now. Its actually kind of interesting, seeing your heartstrings. Janis commented, having decided to load up her hookah at some point during the discussion. Youve not really known love, have you? Tanya shook their head ruefully. No, I cant say Ive ever fallen in love. Not in any life. He dated a bit in college, but he never really clicked? With his girlfriend. She was a wealthy girl who asked him out on what was probably a dare or bet, and he gladly did all of the normal boyfriend things but she ended up breaking up with him after four months, and promptly started up a rumor that he was a homosexual out of some misguided view of being wronged by him. They never really understood why the relationship failed, but they died before they could try again with a more mature woman. Janis hummed knowingly. I suppose it makes sense; the summoning spell wouldnt target someone with too many connections to their world. She had explained that she was involved with the creation of the spell, although she had deflected on the why. It would be easier to unmoor someone without those connections anchoring them. That made sense; to her, those emotional connections were just as real as actual cables anchoring someone to the ground. But I expected it would result in someone who was lonely, who didnt fit in their world but could in ours. She smiled ruefully. I suppose it did. Tanyas eye twitched. Yes, they knew that they were rather twisted, but they prided themselves on their ability to adapt to their surroundings. They fit in just fine! Except that they were planning on becoming a military officer as an eight year old girl. While they were confident they could manage it, Tanya supposed that someone of their appearance could be taken much more seriously as a threat in this world. I wouldnt call myself lonely. Tanya eventually got out. You wouldnt, no. Janis said, with a tinge of melancholy. But thats not why youre here. You want to learn what magic suits you. Yes, exactly. Tanya said, nodding. Now, could you explain date-a-mancy a bit more concretely? Janis giggled. You sound like Sizemore, you know. The man in question, who had calmly sat through the conversation while eating some fat mushrooms that Tanya could easily see adorning some salad or pizza, perked up. Janis turned to him. No matter how elaborate I made my explanations, you always thought that there was some more fundamental layer to what I was saying. Magic isnt so limited as that, to be boiled down to strict concepts and objects. Tanya snorted. Perhaps I should be clearer: Is there an actual spell I could be trying to cast? Theory is fine, but I think I understand it enough to move on to attempt some practical application. Yes, I suppose you have. Janis acknowledged, Lets start with something easy. Leadership and the stack bonus are Natural date-a-mancy, the bonds they share being the source of their strength. Tanya nodded along, she had mentioned that before. The literal power of friendship. It was why the scroll that manipulated the stacking rules to allow Tanya to be effectively a Knight was date-a-mancy. The diminishing of the bonus when the stack gets too large has to do with how difficult it is to pay proper attention to many people at once. Love can be exhausting like that, even as it is a source of strength. Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site. Youve never said this before Sizemore said, in awe. I was trying to teach you Flower Power, Sizemore. Janis said, smiling despite the scolding tone. Love and Peace, as much as they feed off each other, are still two different perspectives. I suppose if you wanted to learn out of class magic, sticking to your natural axis would be a logical choice. Tanya mused. Yes, it is. Janis agreed, Sizemore suspected that youre inclined to numbers axis magic, and your natural talent with date-a-mancy seems to agree with that. The three axes of magic are, at least in my opinion as a multi-master, is that the Erf axis describes the hows about the world. Flower Power is the magic of peace, the natural state of the world. The plants in hexes will wilt and wither if battles are fought in them. Peace is absolutely essential to growing plants, and that is something that Sizemore never really seemed to grasp, always too mired in soil mixtures and water balances. That helps too, but that final step Janis shrugs. Sizemore frowned, and put another mushroom in his mouth. He seemed deep in thought from this revelation. Moving on, the Fate axis describes people. Units. The Who. Signamancy is harmony, the natural balance between a units nature and its interactions with the world. Every unit will naturally glide into a state of harmony with themselves, becoming more in tune with who and what they are, and their appearance will change to reflect this. She gestured to Tanya. Your signamancy is incredibly unharmonious. It is why you change so much as you level up, you are becoming closer to who you are. The summoning spell is still at work, attempting to give you that harmony. Ah, they dont see themselves as a child, so they grow older. Makes sense. But would they become a man later? Probably not. Something about that idea, retaking their old body in full it was unsettling. What did they tell Being X? That being a man was a natural advantage in their life, that made it easier for themselves and thus contributed to why they didnt need religion? It was something along those lines, although they probably didnt go into that much detail. That wasnt really true here, was it? Theyd tower over everyone in their old body; while that wouldnt be a new feeling, Erf humans were even shorter than the Japanese. It would be uncomfortable. They might even become Heavy in that case. They couldnt ride dwagons while Heavy. They knew this because one of the promotion options for Hobgobwin Knights was becoming heavy, and Maggie had to explain that Tanya had made a planning mistake. They still didnt like being a girl, but Hrm. I know that may be some difficult news to digest. Tanya nodded in agreement, and looked Janis in the eye again. Now, the Numbers axis is about the What. These are rough categorizations, some classes could maybe seem a little twisted around, but date-a-mancy puts value to the connections between units, and the interplay of those numbers creates the wonders of love. She gestured, casting, and ten little yellow seeds flew into the ground after flying upward from her hand, planting themselves and sprouting stems with leaves, growing from the dirt of her tents floor. Now, stack with me. Tanya stacked, and could now see that each of those stems were, in fact, a tiny plant unit. They dug themselves out of the dirt, their tiny yellow bodies featureless except for their beady little eyes and little cat-like ears. [Pikpik] Attack: 18 Defense: 18 Hits: 1 Move: 0 (garrison) Special: Plant (Vegetable), Digger, Jump These are the cheapest plant-type units I can create. Janis explained, As you can see, they currently have both of our bonuses, as a level 9 Grand Abbie and a level 5 Chief Warlady, plus a stack bonus of three. That would make their base stats negative two. Janis gave a small grin. But I think we can do better than that. Over the next few minutes, Janis tried to walk Tanya through entangling the heartstrings that even golem units possessed, albeit only with their creator. Through them, Tanya learned to cast their first proper spell. Espirit de corps! Tanya said, the magic words coming to them spontaneously as they understood how to accomplish their task. Startlingly, it worked. That 18 in attack and defense turned into 20, their +3 stack bonus becoming a +5, a true ten-stack. Its more difficult with beasts and speaking units. Janis warned, you need to find units that work well together, that have compatibility. You cant just take any ten units and make it happen. Further, the spell only lasts until they unstack. Youd need to cast the spell again to replace any casualties. She added, sighing. Some sides have done very well making use of this spell to bolster their garrison defenses, but its not really something that sides like paying for. The juice cost of the spell scales with the upkeep of the stack, so a capitals garrison could take tenturns to fully organize, and the benefits would mostly fade after a single battle dangerous enough that the bonus would be appreciated. Tanya hummed. There were many logistical difficulties, but they could see how this could be useful. What do we do with those now? Disband them? They cant be allowed to remain here. Tanya asked. Golems were frowned upon, unless they already had a buyer lined up. Janis ordered the units into her hand, and then ate them. Mm, crunchy. She commented, some kind of yellow mist escaping from her mouth as she did so. They were suspiciously ghost-shaped. Pikpiks are more edible than most plant-type units, so theyre easy to clean up. She said in explanation. Right. Tanya said, a little uncomfortable but putting it out of their mind. They were just little plants, designed to be eaten. Like carrots. Moving on, it was very educational to speak of someone with your tenure, but Id like to review the other octants a bit. I wouldnt recommend that. Janis said breezily. ...Why not? Tanya asked. Well, Im sure the Great Minds in the eyemancy octant would be welcoming enough Janis said, backpedaling her position a bit. But date-a-mancers arent the only caster type that can sense that youre a warlord without much effort. She explained. Your side is currently on the outs, with royal sides making a point to insist that no one deal with you. She waved her hand vaguely. Youre not going to find much in the way of trustworthy allies, with that happening. We havent been helping you that much, and us Hippiemancers stick together; no ones going to narc on you for dealing with us, and we werent going to help Stanley overtly anyway. Tanya nodded along. Her points made sense. Boop. Ah, they were doing so well avoiding cursing. I would like to speak further with Count Harbinger, I understand he lives in that octant? Well, lets go then. Janis said, standing up. Come along, Sizemore. Id like to have a word with Tisha, anyway. Coming! Sizemore said, shoving the last two mushrooms into his mouth. --------------------------- Count Harbinger lived in a small cottage that was referred to as The Cauldron, for some reason. Probably because the architect had a sense of humor and made the structure look like one that was tilted about thirty degrees. Very odd. Its nice to see you again, Tanya. The Count said, in a genuinely pleased manner that made Tanya once more check his hands for a knife. Why does he always sound like hes about to murder someone? He had company over, apparently some sort of card game, before Tanya had arrived, but he was willing to introduce them around. Everyone, this is my latest client. Tanya, this is Duchess Riley, Healomancer, Prince Jack, Puppetmaster, and Countess Fortuna, Luckamancer. Tanya wasnt entirely sure what Puppetmaster was, but it was probably a multi-master title. At a guess Spookism? From Dollamancy? Or maybe Stagemancy? We all used to be part of the same side! Riley added, grinning. She also looked prepubescent, like Tanya used to before she aged up a bit, but she seemed to wear it well. Before King got croaked. Rileys emotional state didnt dip one bit when saying that, which was vaguely unsettling. Another thing she had in common with the Count. At Tanyas look of confusion, Count Harbinger elaborated. Our former ruler insisted that he only be referred to by his title. He believed names had power, which is not inaccurate, but he took it too far. That did explain why Count Harbinger had the same habit. So youre contracted with Gobwin Knob? The Countess asked, looking over Tanya like she was contemplating whether it was worth the effort to kill them. For another two turns, yes. The Count said in agreement. Im not about to break a contract on another sides say so. Make sure anyone who asks knows that. Prince Jack grinned sharply, so much so that Tanya felt the impulse to check themselves for cuts. Well, arent you an interesting little minx. He said, eyes wandering. Ew. Its not every day you see a warlady in the Magic Kingdom. Count Harbinger frowned. No casting at the table, Jack. He said, scolding his friend. But shes just so very special. Prince Jack said, his wide grin completely ruining his look of contrition. Ive never seen an unflavored Caster special. No discipline at all? Undyed by the elements of magic? Its so much simpler than any caster special Ive seen before. Then he pointed at Tanyas wand, affixed to their belt. And thats one heck of an accessory. You dont see magic items linked so inexorably to someone. It might even be an artifact! He started doing tricks with the butterfly knife that he was suddenly holding. Im not even going to get started on what my original discipline has to say about her. Tanya flinched back at the knife. It seemed extraordinarily dangerous, menacing in a way that made it seem like more than just a knife. Hey now. Riley said, pouting. Dont go flirting with other girls, Jack! Turn right back around, you turnamancer! Ah, Tanya did not like the implications of that sentence. Were turnamancers stereotypically playboys? Jack was kind of classically handsome, they supposed. Like one of those heartthrob actors. Countess Fortuna didnt say anything, but she stared menacingly at Jack. Ah, so his partner wasnt Riley. So he wasnt perving with his statements. Ah Yes Poppet, thats probably a good idea. Jack said nervously. Anyway Riley said, the prince adequately chastised, Its so cool that youre another caster with the tiny lady signamancy! Theres so few of us, and Saltis the only one who talks to me! Empress Saltina, shes a thinkamancer. Count Harbinger supplied. One of the Great Minds, even. Dont expect that to last. Tanya warned the girl. My signamancy is currently in flux. I was half a foot shorter two days ago. Aw! But you could join the L.O.L.I. club! Riley whined. It was another weirdness of this world that Tanya understood that it was an acronym despite her not spelling it out. Come to think of it, they always know how to spell all of these new words Interesting. Do I want to know? Tanya asked Count Harbinger. Probably not. He replied. Did you wish to attempt some more moneymancy? He asked. Or perhaps Mathamancy? I did, Tanya said, -but if you have company perhaps I should speak to the Headmaster instead. This is way less boring than cards. Prince Jack said, throwing the cards away. Contessas out of juice, anyway. At that confusing statement, the Countess started picking up the cards with precise movements, not a single one wasted. After a few minutes, The Countess had left and they were settled into the Counts sitting room and Tanya attempted to assess gems again, with much more success. You know, I could make these earrings. Prince Jack said out of the blue. Tanya had removed one of them in order to not spoil the test, and the prince had picked it up to examine. Theyre not actually that unusual, accessory-wise. All it does is grant the Analysis special, with a little bit of superfluous redundancy for the stat board readout. Its high end but in comparison to that other accessory its quite boring. I like them. Tanya said defensively. They fixed their crucial deficiency as a command unit, so no matter how they looked, they were precious. They dont really suit you. Prince Jack said idly. Not yet, at least. They were clearly made for you, though. He pondered that paradox. If I had to picture who would wear this It would require Hm. His frown vanished into a cruel smile. Ah, I see. Very special indeed. Care to share your insight with the class, Puppetmaster? Tanya asked sarcastically as they crushed the gem that they had just made, reclaiming the shmuckers. Oh no, this is far too interesting to spoil. Prince Jack said, Once Gobwin Knob gets crushed into dust, do see if you can make it here, will you? If you cant find other work, Im sure youd make a great fashion model for my weapons. Tanya was guessing that dollamancy was the most lucrative of the spookism disciplines. Which made sense. Healomancys not actually that lucrative, so its how I make upkeep, most days. Riley added, It lets me save my juice for my experiments! Im Master-class, you know! Not many level 4s can say that. Tanya smiled at the excitable girl. Thats quite impressive. Im the opposite, sadly. Level five, but without anything impressive to my name, casting-wise. Youll get there. Riley said authoritatively. Tanya could feel the date-a-mancy bond, the heartstring, form between them as Tanya flattered her. Interesting Its a lot easier to learn when you have a lot of juice to waste. The rest of the day passed quite educationally. Tanya wasnt sure if they could manage anything more useful than just casting more shockamancy with their wand, but managing at least a little bit of magic from two disciplines was an excellent start. If only they werent so doomed Chapter 7 When Tanya came back to Gobwin Knob in the evening, they were pleasantly surprised to find that Marie''s prediction was correct: there were no engagements during the enemy turn. It was mostly unexpected because Jillian didnt do anything either. Wandas suggestion spell was supposed to ensure that. Itll probably just happen next turn. In the morning, Tanya got an even more pleasant surprise: the juice reserve of their wand refilled automagically, presumably fueled by Tanya''s incredibly high upkeep. That was quite unusual for a normal wand, after all. Their breakfast was some mass produced teriyaki chicken with miso soup in a styrofoam container, like you would get as takeout. It even had a fortune cookie, which wasn''t something you usually got in Japan. The fortune cookie had an interesting, if cryptic, warning. "Frequently asked questions: Is the Princess in her castle? Yes." She had absolutely no idea what it meant. Like the other turns, Tanya got a prize in their fast food. Unlike the last time, it seemed to be only a part of one: it was half of a tiara. It looked gaudy, but it matched the earrings. Bogroll, who was a very dutiful lackey, was happy to hold onto it and fashioned a small satchel that he wore to do so. At their request, he also put on a shirt, a button-up kind with short sleeves that made him look like a factory worker. Tanya approved. After breakfast, Headmaster Isaac and Harbinger arrived once more, as expected from their contracts. They went straight up to the top of the tower so the Headmaster could fulfill his contractual obligations and update the battle map, and Tanya took the Count aside to ask about his specialty. Yes, there is some hot magic in Mathamancy. Count Harbinger confirmed. In this context, hot magic referred to spells that were meant to be cast on a battlefield, instead of while in a safe hex, which was called cold magic. This was not an official distinction, but most cold spells could only be cast during ones turn, which prevented one from, for example, waiting until dusk and using all of your spare juice to gain an economic edge without sacrificing the risk there normally is in having no juice to handle whatever your enemies do on their turn. Its mostly things that synergize with archery, allowing more precise attacks. Its best with siege weapons like Ballistae, with a little juice you could take some precision shots at adjacent hexes even. You could normally shoot adjacent hexes on ones turn, but you couldnt target specific units, and even targeting a specific stack was iffy if there were multiple stacks in close formation. So, hypothetically Tanya asked, If I was to stack with our yellow dwagons, and managed to cast some mathamancy to assist them, could I increase the accuracy of their bombardment? Definitely. Count Harbinger said, You managed well with the basic calculation magic yesterday, I have at least one scroll for such a thing He rifled through his jacket, which had about five scrolls inside of it. He pulled out a green one. Ah, here we are. One Volley Optimization scroll. By default, it will augment ranged attacks from one stack targeting another stack of equal size. Itll add plus five combat to the volley. Ill need to adjust it. Tanya said, frowning. She wanted it to improve efficiency on destroying the battle bears. That is the advantage of knowing mathamancy. Count Harbinger agreed. Its the same rough equations, you just need to adjust some variables. Come on, let me show you how its done. One thousand for the scroll, by the way. Fortunately, the math was, to someone with a college education, quite simple. It was just basic ballistics. After the quick lesson, the map was finished. "...this is a trap." Tanya concluded. "Yes." Isaac agreed, "for an additional fee, I could attempt to detect veiled units." He pointed to a few specific hexes. "If they hired Charlescomm, this would likely be where they''re hiding some veiled Archons." Tanya frowned. "Charlescomm?" "A mercenary side." Wanda explained, "He possesses the Arkendish, which gives him mastery over Thinkamancy." Well, logically there would be other Arkentools, although they really wished they had been told about this earlier. "He fields Archons, flying knight-class units with a large variety of specials. Equal to dwagons in upkeep, move, and in destructive power, but quite fragile." Count Harbinger added, "Their minor leadership bonuses and foolamancy make them quite tricky." "Wow." Tanya said, impressed. "Imagine mounting them on dwagons" The Count frowned. "Flying knights don''t get the stack benefit. You can''t even use mounts to extend their range, flying units that are mounted still lose move when they go through hex boundaries." Tanya flushed at their embarrassing mistake. Then what he said fully registered. Wait was that "...can I fly?" Tanya asked. Come to think of it the Empire recruiter did mention that they were an A-class mage, and had gone on to explain that A and B class mages could fly and become aerial mages. "How do you fly?" Headmaster Isaac seemed baffled by the question. "Have you tried to fly?" He asked. Tanya snorted. "Why would I do that?" They asked. Still, it was worth a try. Tanya looked up and imagined moving in that direction. Their left middle finger twitched as they imagined pressing the "W" key on their keyboard, and just like that, Tanya''s feet left the ground and they started to fly. "...I guess I can fly." After a moment of awkward silence, Headmaster Isaac coughed. "Ah did you want me to check for veils? My fee will double for the turn." Classic upsell. Tanya approved of the man''s hustle. "Yes, please do that." Tanya said, mentally updating the pending payment they ordered to be reserved. It was an interesting trick that the Count had informed them of, using their Chief Warlord authority to create an accounts payable entry, locking out Lord Stanley from spending it without explicitly countermanding the order. It was interesting, how the Ruler''s power was theoretically absolute, but the Chief Warlord and Caster can ignore, override, and block that authority, but only if they could justify to themselves that it was necessary for the side''s survival or pursuant to their defined role. But the ruler could simply clap their hands and kill either of the other members of the ruling trinity at will. It would be nice to not have to worry about that. They asked if there was any magic that could allow people to be tricked into thinking the wrong things to get around all of these intent-based limits, and apparently that was how carnynancy worked. Which made perfect sense, given that carnies are essentially scam artists. Their poor reputation also makes sense in that context. It was also logical that Signamancy and Thinkamancy could be subverted by another Fate axis discipline. The underlying logic of this world''s magic system is becoming clearer "Found them." Headmaster Isaac said, and Maggie put the archon figures on the battlemap. Apparently, they looked like flying airline stewardesses. Skirts and all. "Four stacks seems expensive." Tanya commented. If they cost the same as dwagons "Archons vary in strength immensely with levels." Count Harbinger pointed out. "Much more than dwagons do. But if they want to deal with the force you''ve been sending out, that sounds like a good minimum." "Battle odds?" Tanya asked. "With the force disposition you have available, with those particular Archons supported by the ground archery" he casts a spell. "55.8633% chance of victory. Odds of winning without losing either you or Wanda 27.6449%." one of the things about mathamancy being magic instead of being a glorified calculator was that while the Count didn''t, strictly speaking, know the levels and random specials of those archons, he could still calculate it accurately. It cost more juice to fill in for unknown variables, but that was already factored into the price of his services. Tanya did not like those numbers, but it made sense. But For an ambush, those numbers are not nearly as certain as I thought." "Charlie knows I''m working for you. He has informants in Portal Park." Headmaster Isaac said, adding some context. "He''s assuming that I will find his ambush and that you won''t attack them. This means he needs to only send enough forces to plausibly croak you, not enough to do so reliably." Seventy-plus percent chance was pretty good, mind you, but Tanya was so successful because they targeted the leadership so the unled forces couldnt do the same back; the archons would not be so inept. Still, that motive made sense. Tanya was glad that they hired the Headmaster instead of trying to find someone cheaper. They paid for a quality advisor. "So Charlie''s just trying to get paid without actually doing anything. I can work with that." The hex they were in, if one assumed the archons were the orlies they were disguised as, the ideal he''d to repeat their previous tactics on. That was why Tanya assumed it was a trap. "We needed to change tactics anyway." What the RCC undoubtedly expected them to do was to go for the front hex, or one of the ones behind it, and walk the remaining uncroaked through Gobwin Knob''s tunnels and reinforce the city defenders with them. While there were seige mechanics that allowed them benefits from surrounding the city without attacking, Tanya would wager that Charlie was quite an expensive mercenary, and they''d like to think they''ve taught Ansom well when it came to how bad of an idea it was to allow them time to maneuver. Thus, they positioned their forces to stop that tactic. They abandoned the concept of air cover for the majority of the hexes, and concentrated their forces to almost match their first configuration, where the air cover only covers the leadership and front hexes. The archons were in a hex without any siege, stuffed to the brim with 960 infantry and nothing else, 120 stacks with three stacks of "orlies" to protect them along with the Transyvito contingent, one flying warlord and a swarm of bats. If it was what it seemed to be, it would be the perfect place to attack with the dwagons. This was why Tanya assumed it was a trap. But they can soak the losses of another two hexes, even with Tanya ignoring the lethal trap. In showing their soft underbelly, they have laid two traps. Even with an additional mass uncroaking scroll and no air cover, they could defeat no more than five hexes, and even that much was far too risky. The dwagons take significant damage croaking a full hex of infantry, enough to make engaging further battle bears a significant risk. The remaining hexes would still be twice the necessary forces to take the city. A substantial improvement over four to five times as much as they needed, like when Tanya first popped, but not enough. So Tanya will take a third option. They had plenty of knight-class bodies, after all. "Wanda. Use your juice to reanimate as many flying forces that you can. Fill out Toast''s stack, then reanimate a second warlord and create another. We will not be needing a mass uncroaking this turn." Once more, Tanya distinctly avoided invoking it as an Order. "Yes, Warlady." Wanda said drily, leaving the room to follow the order. Tanya turned to the Count. "It''s time to crunch some numbers. Here is the plan" The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. --------------------------- With good numbers, Tanya proceeded with the plan. Guerilla warfare, that is, the kind where you hit a high value target and get out, is not conventional wisdom in this world. While yes, the dwagon raiding tactics, picking off hexes from a large column before retreating back to the city, is technically a form of that kind of warfare, its not considered such because it is wiping out entire hexes, winning battles, and exploiting their inability to counterattack. It only worked because Jillian was unable to be the one to spearhead that counterattack, no other commander in the Coalition is skilled yet disposable enough to attempt to croak large quantities of wounded dwagons through the unknown but presumably formidable anti-air spells on Gobwin Knobs tower. Also, they used a little foolamancy to bluff them into thinking there were still healthy ones in reserve, the ones that Stanley took. There was a supply of scrolls in the foolamancers quarters along with the sword that they were down to their last one of. Perhaps they could try to cast some normally soon? Foolamancy seemed pretty simple when using the scrolls Anyway, the reason why winning battles was so important was the experience point bonus that commanders get from being in command of victories. This was of vital importance when Tanya was level 1, but when theyre level 5 not so much. Wanda got the lions share of the battle experience for the previous two turns attacks, and she didnt level up once. She admitted that she had leveled to eight relatively recently, so was not surprised at that lack, but it emphasized how Tanya could not expect to level more than once, and level 6 was not an important enough level to shoot for. As victories were no longer important, and attacking the infantry forces is a waste of time they will do neither. Instead, they will surgically attack the siege units, using the breath attacks of the dwagons to deal with the siege towers, and the superior statistics of the knights, both the uncroaked ones and the dwagon riding ones, will be able to cut up the battle bears with impunity. Those were the broad strokes of the plan. Tanya was commanding the yellow dwagons exclusively this turn, the now level 5 King Bomber their personal mount. They were in a nine-stack, and Tanya found that casting the spell to bond themselves to the powerful dwagon was surprisingly easy. This was primarily because Tanyas own affection for the beast created the very first heartstring that they could detect coming from themselves, which was a pleasant surprise. Until they realized that it meant that all of those times they didnt see a heartstring before meant that they cared for literally all of their other units less than this one dwagon. They were beginning to understand why some people might consider date-a-mancy unsettling. Nevertheless, a full complement of the Knights in Stanleys Service was also stacked with them, in full warpaint. It was pointless to assume Rocking Out would work, but if things go wrong theyre willing to try. Unlike normal dance-fighting, Rocking Out did not replace the stack bonus, instead adding to it, so while you could use it in a troupe like normal dance-fighting, it was best to keep things small when youre playing Rock Band. It didnt work before when they tried, but they knew how to sing, and could remember a few rock songs from all that karaoke they did, so by actually using juice they thought they had a shot at it. Wanda had managed an impressive number of uncroaked fliers. Mass uncroak takes about two-thirds of their juice supply, and they were able to make nearly a full stack with just that. Most of the unipegataurs from the front hex, fourteen, were animated, leaving a total of eighteen such fliers. Ensign Toast (who had leveled to six last turn, and decayed to a single remaining hit on this one) and Wanda manned a ten stack, while the lowest level of the uncroaked warlords, Lord Manpower the Temporary (and level 4), was relegated to the backup uncroaked knight eight-stack. Most of the uncroaked warlords had leveled up over the last two turns. Archduke Ferdinand (still level 5) was moved to join Leeroy Jenkins (level 5 now) in the dwagon stacks, with the Archduke commanding the purples and blues and Leeroy commanding the reds and greens, with the pinks split between them. Tanya had gotten used to directing those stacks on top of their own by now, but it was easier if the dwagons were sorted in this way. The pinks and blues were the most disposable, so Tanya''s orders tended to risk those over other types. Six of the seven losses were among those, with one purple being the odd one out. Flying out towards the column, Tanya took a deep breath. Those archons they could have been a very nasty surprise. Fortunately, their contingencies were able to spot the danger in time. Even without springing the trap, it was very possible that four stacks of archons could flat out take the garrison on their own if the dwagons were all too wounded to contest them. The anti-air spells that Tanya optimized helped, but it was chancier than theyd like. Even through the embargo that the royal sides have created with their cartel-like control over the magic kingdom, Maggie was able to find a few low level casters desperate enough to spend their juice spelling up the tower, which Tanya then optimized, Archons were capable of illusions. If they were skilled enough to do what Tanya would do if they had the skill, the spells could not be enough. But that was a concern for later. First, they had siege units to croak. The first hex was the one where they will determine how easy the rest of the hexes will be. They came in high, outside the range of archery. Mathamancy scroll in hand, Tanya commanded their stack to bombard one of the battle bears, the plush heavies large enough for a coordinated barrage of battlecrap to be possible. The scroll''s magic made the world explode into lines of battle, firing arcs and ballistic trajectories. It reminded them of playing one of those artillery battle games, and Tanya knew exactly what to do. On their command, one of the yellow dwagons flew and dropped its payload, the next dwagons following in single file and dropping its own at the exact same position and angle. With the speed the dwagons flew at, all nine loads of caustic matter were unloaded in two seconds, crating a line of acid that buried the battle bear. As expected, it did not do enough damage to destroy the massive golem, although there was a one in three-ish chance of nine shots being enough with all the applicable bonuses. Tanya''s growing magical skill made repeating the scroll''s feat much more successful than the last time they attempted such, magically augmenting their cognition to allow for a much more precise series of orders. Each of the hex''s six battle bears got one volley, successfully destroying one outright. A bad set of damage rolls, but any croaks from that was just a bonus. The second phase of the skirmish commenced: the dwagons descended, with the uncroaked knights staying above them. Archery got some hits on the dwagons, but it was 9-11 combat versus the dwagon''s 22-23 defense. Not a big enough margin to laugh at the attacks, but it was close. They wouldn''t want to let the archery unload their entire quivers, but four to six volleys wouldnt even chip a tenth of the dwagon''s collective hits. Tanya''s stack leapt on the healthiest battle bear pair, Tanya bringing their lightsaber to bear heh. Another trick that Tanya had learned about the melee form of their weapon was that it could handle one mode, the cutting blade, for free, there were three other damage types that it could use: fire, electric, and the mode Tanya liked calling ''vibroblade''. Each of these modes added an additional amount of damage that was equal to the initial attack and there was nothing but juice concerns stopping them from using all three at once, quadrupling their damage to most units. An interesting feature of Tanya''s earrings was that, unlike traditional warlords, Tanya could see the points of enemy units just as easily as their own, so they knew that the battle bear''s 21 remaining hits meant that tripling their damage would be enough to reliably destroy it. "Hidden Art: Sparkling Love!" Tanya shouted as their blade exploded with fire and electricity. The adrenaline must be getting to them; they almost thought they sounded cool there. Meanwhile, the other dwagons stacks were engaging the siege towers. Siege towers were not actually units, but instead equipment that protected several stacks of digger infantry. The ones Ansom brought were as big as they got: each one carried eight such stacks. The siege tower worked like ships and city walls in that it used the points of the diggers inside via Natural Changenancy to determine its own set of points as a pseudo-unit. Against most attacks, the tower acted as a single unit with nearly four hundred hits, the hardened damage reduction of a massive heavy, and an attack that only functioned against city walls. This means that destroying siege towers was normally considered easy, because it assumed you would croak the entire hex first. If you weren''t doing that, it was actually quite difficult. But there were ways around it. Siege attacks ignored the hardened damage reduction and special siege attacks like purple dwagonbreath do their bonus damage. Gas attacks like green dwagonbreath does no damage to objects, but bypass the protection to directly attack the units inside. Wooden objects treated fire damage, like red dwagonbreath, as siege. Blue dwagonbreath was fully impaired, so the lightning bolts were aimed to finish off the most injured battle bears, and anyone not using breath engaged the infantry in melee, giving the other units space to work. Wanda''s forces was supposed to croak any battle bear that survived the blues and yellows, but they were not needed in this case. All told, it took four combat rounds to destroy the siege, and Tanya ordered a withdrawal. After inspecting the hits of the dwagons and the remaining uses of their breath weapons, they smiled. A dwagonbreath attack, when used well, can croak 1 stack of normal infantry. Therefore, it should logically take eight breath attacks to destroy the siege tower. Blues, yellows, and pinks don''t do full damage, but the red/green combo counts as three and the yellows have six times as many shots. Most of the dwagons have leveled up enough to have eight shots by now, with a few having nine. From the result of the engagement, those numbers seem to have panned out. This leaves them with sixteen remaining siege towers of the nineteen they started the turn with, and given the twenty-seven remaining dwagons; nine yellows, three reds, four greens, five purples, four pinks, and two blues, fourteen of the nineteen is within their offensive reach, and all thirty-two of the remaining battle bears can be volleyed with ten additional volleys to be used at discretion, which can probably take out two more towers. With shockamancy as a backup to handle any bad luck, that leaves them with a mere three to besiege Gobwin Knob with, so Tanya just needs to ignore that hex. The question is can they take that many hexes on without losing a dwagon? It was iffy. If they took out that hex, the one with only two towers, with just yellows and a shockamancy spell or two Tanya took the numbers in their head and spent juice to accelerate their thoughts once more. A lance of pain interrupted their full comprehension of the calculation, clearly they made a minor mistake when casting, but it finished: they saw that it was a sixty-something percent chance for all the dwagons to survive, they knew that. Theyll take it. With the remainder of the attack planned out, Tanya turned to Wanda. Follow me! They ordered. Weve got six more hexes to hit! --------------------------- [Prince Ansom Lunesta of Jetstone, Level 10 Chief Warlord, Heir to Jetstone] Ansom didnt like feeling outsmarted. The Titans knew how uncomfortably often that seemed back at court, it was one of the reasons why he preferred the battlefield; foreign warlords meant it when they said they respected you, which made them far better company than courtiers. The Chief Warlady of Gobwin Knob, Tanya, cut at the great beast that was the Royal Crown Coalitions column with precision, wielding her dwagons and croakamancer with the finesse of a dueling rapier. But Ansoms coalition, the alliance of Royal sides that were united in their hatred for Overlord Stanley the Worm, was a mighty beast indeed. They had lost some hits, metaphorically, but they had five times the necessary forces to defeat Gobwin Knobs mighty defenses. But Tanya is still fresh to command. While clever, her choice of maneuvers is betrayed by the casters she hired before they started putting pressure on the Magic Kingdom to deny them services. Stanleys Thinkamancer hired two casters associated with the Thinkamancy guild, Headmaster Isaac Cipher and Mathamancer Kurt Godel. She spent her forces efficiently, but it was still just Lookamancy and Mathamancy allowing her to strike at the weakest points and pull out after doing some damage. It was surprising that the Headmaster was willing to be hired out to a side like Gobwin Knob, but apparently there were rumors of the mans fondness for Stanleys thinkamancer, so that made sense. But then she did this. Between the three attacks, eighty percent of the siege has been croaked. Of the twenty-seven siege towers pushed by fifty-four battle bears, only three and six remain. Of the nine stacks of weinerrammers, three have been croaked. He didnt think that was enough to take the walls. They did have digger units outside the siege towers among the marbits, which could help Or they could commit everything to the tunnel attack. The more he thought of it, the more the tunnel attack plan made sense. It would require that they wait for the full column, so next turn, because three towers and six stacks of rammers certainly can take Gobin Knobs walls if they are underdefended, but it seemed like the only path of victory. Well, that or pay Charlie to assist them in taking the airspace. Ansom was not a fan of the ambush plan, but the Sofa King was Sofa King Furious! at Tanya wiping out all but a handful of their own forces, including Duchess Potatoes, so he fronted the money to pay for an ambush force. Apparently, Tanya was canny enough to notice the trap. Worse, she understood how futile attacking more infantry would be, so no more siege. That sort of strategy It was madness. But as Tramennis once told him the difference between genius and madness But one thing that Ansom learned as a warlord, the knowledge that got him to level nine was that there was nothing that could beat overwhelming numbers. They still had well over five thousand units in the column, after all. They used to have over nine thousand, but Tanya was a very capable warlady. Stanley had, just ten turns ago, sent off hundreds of infantry from Gobwin Knobs walls in an ill-fated assault. While they are unsure of the exact quantity of units remaining within those walls, it could be no more than a thousand, and invading the tunnels with five times that number will be enough. It has to be enough. Chapter 8 The siege assault was more successful than Tanya''s wildest dreams. Unlike every other stratagem attempted, this was the only one that completed their objective: buying Gobwin Knob a single extra turn. Sure, croaking thousands of the Coalition''s troops looked like it helped, but the bottleneck of their strength was the siege. Low move, but the most efficient way to deal with such a heavily fortified city. They can still take Gobwin Knob, but they are now forced to use the tunnel systems to do so. Further, that lack of siege means that Gobwin Knob can hold off the remaining siege merely by stationing dwagons on the walls, in addition to in the tower zone with the archers. Much like siege towers, units on top of walls are linked with the walls in a form of natural Changemancy, reinforced with bonuses derived from Dirtamancy. Units without siege or digger could attack walls, but they had to pay hits to do so. The ratio of hits to damage depended on the specific numbers matchup. Ranged attackers in walls provided less benefits to the wall on a per upkeep basis, because they were fragile with low defense and hits, but they can use their attacks on invaders directly. Flying and climbing units can similarly engage the wall-standing units directly. Diggers could use Move instead of hits, and did more damage than normal infantry. Siege units could just keep attacking, paying nothing, unless ranged attacks or other defenses dealt with them. They typically did less damage than an equivalent amount of diggers, though, so having too few ran the real risk of running out of time to attack and being repelled into their previous hex. Needless to say, the diggers in a siege tower have full move when they''re wheeled close. Even one of those gigantic towers can go through a level 2 or 3 city''s defenses if left unmolested. But they could dedicate all melee infantry into the tunnels, and a purchase of three hundred additional Gobwin infantry finished popping this turn, both measures tripling the available forces in the tunnel zone between them. Tanya was surprised that such a change was even an option before it was explained. Natural Allies were tribes of units with their own treasuries, they made long-term alliances and could theoretically break them. Instead of popping units through cities, they instead converted shmuckers directly into more units. Excellent for a last minute defense, even if it was expensive and required at least one turn of lead time: they ordered the popping last turn. If Ansom had executed the feint attack he had planned, they wouldn''t have been there in time. But their plan was successful, and he did not. Tanya was a little concerned about them breaking alliance, but Sizemore assuaged their worries: The gobwins were very proud to be part of a side named after them, and the Coalition''s own natural Allies, marbits, had factional hatred for gobwins, and it was mutual. The only thing to be gained from cooperation was execution. The elves also hated the hobgobwins with equal fervor. So Tanya took breakfast with Headmaster Isaac and Count Harbinger for the final turn of their contracts. Their breakfast, this turn, was another meal that made Tanya''s heart ache with nostalgia. Ozouni, a noodle soup that was prepared exactly like their mother used to make, every new years. It was the last home cooked meal they ate in their last life, which, given that they were quite a few months into that year when they died, was rather pathetic in hindsight. Laid on top of the plate of mochi that came with it was the other half of the tiara that popped last turn. Bogroll, who was standing at attention behind them as usual, swiftly procured the half he was holding, picking up the new piece with a level of care that one wouldn''t expect from looking at the fat cyclopean attendant. As Tanya ate, the twoll used his natural Dollamancy special to fuse the two halves together, creating a perfect match to Tanya''s earrings and wand, gaudy but cute in a way that made the ''magical girl'' theme of the items clear. "I wonder what it does?" Count Harbinger said as he ate his own meal. His meal was, near as Tanya could tell, standard American fare, waffles and bacon with eggs. Headmaster Isaac instead ate muesli alone with a glass of water. "It can wait until after breakfast." Tanya said, "the attunement process is rather involved." Well, it was distracting anyway. They couldn''t really understand what they were feeling through their nascent magical senses, but they wanted to enjoy this meal. Tanya wasn''t sure if their tendency to use spare brainpower to consider the strategic situation was demanded by the summoning spell or if it was just their usual anxiety putting their mind on tangents, but it is what it is. Maggie was calmly seated next to the Headmaster with a full English breakfast, and Sizemore stayed in the tunnels overnight, as Tanya gave him the option to spare himself the stairs. Wanda was supposed to be here, but she wasn''t. Where? She was definitely still in the city, as the contract was still present and there was no way that she would leave the pliers behind nor leave the city. Still, the delicious meal was finished, so it was time to see what this new magic item did. There was a feeling of finality in it; Tanya had a hunch that they wouldn''t be getting any more. Now, what do their earrings have to say about this? [Royal Tiara Magic: Royalty! Leadership! Protection!] Tanya''s mind immediately went to their speech to that recruiter whom they lost their temper at. Ah, right. The spell pulled them in because they, while not expecting it to do anything, did make an earnest plea to become an important leader. They also asked to become a princess while that was more sarcastic than anything else, they couldn''t say that such a thing would be a negative, in this world at least. As Tanya coronated themselves, magic words spilled from her lips, in Japanese: "Royal Tiara Magic: Make Up!" Tanya''s skin took on a sparkling pink luster as her clothes dissolved into ribbons, the armored dress that Bogroll created for her turning into shimmering motes of light as a new set of magical raiment formed around Tanya, the whole sequence feeling like it took both minutes and an instant. After the transformation completed, Tanya''s wand was in her hand, she was in a suitably dramatic pose, and her audience was adequately awed by her new equipment. "Fascinating." Headmaster Isaac said first. "Fufufu impressed?" Tanya asked. She felt great! Almost as if "You grew again." Count Harbinger said. "Also, I can see your points now." Oh? Tanya looked down, sparing a moment to assess her new dress. It was mostly white, with silver accents. The skirt was shorter than the dress she was wearing before, but it was still most of the way down her thighs, stopping just short of her knees; a respectable length. The blouse was stiff, forming the shape of an armored cuirass, custom fitted to her torso. It radiated power. Her earrings responded to her will. [Princess Tanya von Degurechaff, level 6] Combat: 37 Defense: 37 Hits: 10 [10] Move: 56 Specials: Tanya, Royal, Leadership, Caster, Flight, Recon, Chief Warlord Magical Bonuses: Leadership x2, Barrier, Analysis, Shockamancy Wow. How much of this can you see? Tanya asked, The earrings analysis special probably means I can see more than you. Im still allied with you for this turn, so I get your level, Attack, Defense, hits, and move. Count Harbinger explained. I also get that dittomancy bonus to your leadership from your in-hex Chief Warlord bonus. After a moment, he added: Ah, I can also see your name, but only if I learned it. Ah. So its dittomancy? Tanya asked. Headmaster Isaac nodded. Yes, its an advanced and expensive dittomancy spell, but it gives you a caster bonus, like ones that give bonuses to golems, and applies it in tandem with your leadership. Im surprised it applies to your Chief Warlord bonus, however. Thats master-class, easily. Tanya immediately translated that as doesnt stack with Wandas uncroaked bonus nor Sizemores golem bonus. Still, it applies to her living troops, so thats still very nice. Still, as a test, Tanya passed her wand to Bogroll, noting the drop of fourteen points of Combat (the unarmed penalty was four, and she didn''t have her backup weapon on her either) and removal of the Shockamancy special from her bonus board, picking it back up after she confirmed it. Why did it level me up, though? Count Harbinger coughed. Ah, I may not be as skilled as Prince Jack, but he did teach me a bit of weirdomancy. That would be because the Royal special lowers the experience threshold to level up. Which you now have. Tanya was about to ask about her Recon special, but realized that she already knew: It allowed her to see adjacent hexes clearly, an advanced version of the scout special for flying units. Was that a function of the Analysis special, or did her transformation come with innate knowledge? She recalled that time she spotted that bat from an adjacent hex watching over her dance battle, on that first attack. Was that a usage of the Recon special? Actually, did that mean that she could have spotted the veiled archons even before entering the hex they were in? From her new innate knowledge She does get foolamancy spot checks even before entering a new hex. Neat. She focused on the most mysterious special on the list: Why does she have a Tanya special? Unfortunately, her knowledge on it was next to nothing: She knew it was related to being summoned from another world, but the exact mechanics of it was not something she could grasp. After a moment of thought, she decided that it was probably a representation of the various magics that made her function as a unit rather than a normal biological system, bridging the gap between evolution and the artificial construction of the rest of this world. The barrier specials details came easily, though. It gave her a secondary pool of hits that protected her from damage, and any damage in excess of its destruction is simply negated. This was fortunate, as her hits were inadequate without this special. From Count Harbingers previous explanation, a normal amount of hits for her level was 17. But that was for non-flying warlords, of which 10 hits was a normal amount for her level. What is the normal amount of move for a level six flying warlord? Tanya asked. You have more. Count Harbinger confirmed. Its thirty-two for a normal flying warlord, fifty-two for a recon warlord. Your royalty stat bonus has clearly been applied to your move. I never expected the Summon Perfect Warlord spell to create a Royal warlord Headmaster Isaac said, deep in thought. Were you royalty before the summoning? Tanya hesitated. She could lie Im not sure. Tanya decided to say. She wouldnt actually put it past Being X to make her some lost bastard of a royal line just to give her enemies. Maybe? an awkward silence stretched on. "...I suppose it doesn''t change anything in the grand scheme of things." Headmaster Isaac eventually said. "I should get to scouting." "Check for veils." Tanya instructed. "Those archons could make an air attack successful." --------------------------- Fortunately, those archons had left the battlespace, clearly only hired for the single turn. This made sense, as Charlie would likely charge outrageous sums to attack cities, which was a nonstarter when most of the RCC was there for spoils more than ideology. In fact, it was probably only Jetstone that was there for ideology, if Princess Jillians assessment was accurate. Which it might be. It was when she was in the middle of thinking about what calculations she needed from the Count that it happened. The contract broke. Fear bubbled in her chest as she realized that Wanda had still not reported to the situation room, but then she realized that it had broken in their favor. What? The only way that could happen on their turn is if one of their stacks engaged Jillian and she attacked back instead of surrendering immediately. They were obligated to preserve her life, but now that the contract was broken The question was which units are engaged? Stanley. How Jillian managed to go ahead of Stanley and also have the cosmic luck required to encounter the man, Tanya didnt know. But there was absolutely no way Jillian could have the forces to deal with Stanley on a stack of dwagons. Shed need at least four stacks of led gwiffons with knights and other high level warlords to even have a fifty-fifty shot. Nevertheless, Tanya immediately ordered Maggie mentally to open up a thinkagram to Prince Ansom. She needed to jump on this while the iron was hot. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. Ansoms image appeared between Maggies fingers as she held them in a rectangular shape in front of her. He looked stressed, clearly having sensed the contract violation just as she did. From his eyes widening in shock, he clearly didnt expect her new appearance. Tanya went straight to the point. Prince Ansom, nice to see you again. Im sure you know what Im calling about; so Ill be direct: If you want the Arkenpliers to stay within your reach, you must- Gobwin Knob trembled, and information flooded Tanyas senses, interrupting her train of thought as every unit within Gobwin Knob suddenly became points of light in her mind, and even a few dwagons far away, which were rapidly croaking. About ninety hexes away, enough for two turns on dwagonback if it was a straight shot. She definitely expected Stanleys stack to have made it further away than that Did he get lost before croaking? Wait. Sizemore had explained what happens when an heirless Overlord like Stanley croaked. She shouldnt be thinking at all, much less sensing his old stack. The foolamancer was captured, winking out from her locational sense but still existing as a unit of Gobwin Knob. What just happened? She said out loud. ...You were a royal heir? Ansom asked, as if he couldnt believe it. Thats a Queens Crown. Huh, her tiara became a full crown Tanya reflexively checked her stats. [Queen Tanya von Degurechaff, level 6] Combat: 31 Defense: 31 Hits: 10 [10] Move: 56 Specials: Tanya, Royal, Leadership, Caster, Flight, Recon, Ruler Magical Bonuses: Leadership x2, Barrier, Analysis, Shockamancy Ah. Now she understood what was going on. Her side no longer has a Chief Warlord, so she lost her in-hex bonus. Because she was the ruler now. ...Yes. Tanya said. I am now at liberty to re-introduce myself. I am Queen Tanya von Degurechaff, Ruler of Gobwin Knob. For some reason, it was extraordinarily easy to stay calm and collected; after all, she was telling the truth. I see. Prince Ansom said without a trace of skepticism. He seemed to be adapting to this revelation rather well, in fact. What are your demands? He asked. Well, shed need to make sure she still had them, fortunately she could remotely order Wanda now without going through Wanda was no longer a unit of Gobwin Knob. Thinking back, she didnt sense any units in the Magic Kingdom from the start; was she waiting at the portal for the contract to break? With another sided unit on the other side to turn to before Stanley croaked? Marie. The precognitive. She wasnt sided, though? Unless that changed in the last two turns. They clearly had a plan to abandon Stanley the second the Arkenpliers were available to spirit away. Shed feel scammed, but given how terrible of a boss Stanley is and how the odds of her keeping those pliers if she stayed on with Tanya Yeah, it was a rational decision on Wandas part. Inconvenient to her, but she couldnt call Wanda foolish for this. Even if it did make them lose both their uncroaked and Chief Warlord bonuses. Which made a solid third of their units, the uncroaked contingent, much less powerful. She was pretty sure they had the numbers to overwhelm the defenses even before this loss, now? No chance. One moment. She turned to Count Harbinger, Maggie faintly nodding to her silent order to not transmit this sidebar. Odds of them successfully taking the city through the tunnels next turn? Wandas gone. While Count Harbinger casted, Tanya spared a look at the new decor. Apparently, her livery was a symbol of a two-headed dwagon, one of which had whiskers, eerily reminiscent of the coat of arms of the Empire she had left behind. She liked it immediately. 98.833% chance. Count Harbinger said despondently. You had a decent chance before losing those bonuses. Right. Now their only hope was diplomacy. Turning back to Ansoms image, she continued. The pliers are gone. Tanya said, waving her hand breezily. Wanda managed to enter the Magic Kingdom and turn to another side before I became the ruler. She shrugged. There are no Arkentools remaining in the battlespace. Where is Stanley? Ansom demanded. About ninety hexes north, deep in the Minty Mountains. Tanya said, He definitely was croaked by Princess Jillian, but how she managed to get in his way, I dont know. How she managed to croak him, Ive even less idea. How do you know? Ansom asked, calmer at Tanyas forthright explanation. It fits the chain of events. Tanya explained, First, the contract broke, on our turn. The only event that could cause that is Jillian being found by some of our units then fighting back instead of surrendering. Then, Stanley croaked, and I became ruler. The engagement wasnt finished, so I was able to use my ruler senses to locate what remained of his stack. She scowled to make clear how much Wandas actions were not her idea. Id need to check the Magic Kingdom to get information on who Wanda turned to. Or maybe hire a Findamancer? Or she could just ask the Headmaster to scry the side. That could work. Ansom stared at Tanya, assessing her words. ...I believe you. He eventually said. In that case, perhaps the royal side of Gobwin Knob could join your Coalition, in the name of retrieving those Arkentools? Tanya offered. Ansom gave a wry smile. Yes, its about time to discuss surrender terms. Drat. --------------------------- The Royal Crown Coalition was willing to sign a three-turn armistice for diplomatic talks at ruinous penalties, which Sizemore was sure to mention was a courtesy only extended because of Tanyas Royal special. They positioned their units surrounding the city, and the leadership, each accompanied by a single eight-stack of guards, were invited to Tanyas new throne room (which Sizemore made, an unsettlingly familiar copy of the Chrysanthemum Throne) to proceed with the negotiations. Headmaster Isaac, before leaving to the Magic Kingdom, was able to tell Tanya a little bit more detail on Stanleys fate: He had fallen at a capital site, which was now occupied by a level 3 city owned by a side known as Faq. Terrifyingly, he was also able to determine that the side, run by Queen Jillian, had as its Chief Warlord Stanley the Plaid, with Wanda as their Chief Caster. In the supplemental list of units, there was the expected Marie the predictamancer and Jack the foolamancer, as well as all twelve dwagons that Stanley had taken with him. Wanda did say that she should be capable of creating a superior form of uncroaked. That certainly qualified. The numerous knights and two warlords that were distinctly familiar also explained what happened to the stash of bodies that were saved for Wanda. Apparently she had spent all morning getting them moved into the Magic Kingdom, and had hired another caster to schlep them into Faqs portal. Tanya tried to use the knowledge of where the Arkentools were in negotiations which didnt work like shed hoped. Apparently, most of the other sides really wanted her croaked for the crime of being too effective as an opponent. In a turn of events that really didnt surprise her, Prince Ansom was the one that most ardently advocated for her survival. In one that was a surprise, Count Vinny Doombats was solidly on Ansoms side, despite him revealing that Stately had promised them one of the Arkentools for their assistance. It did make some sense, in hindsight: Transylvito didnt spend much in the war, and was promised a great return. Having lost the prize was sure to be aggravating, but it was an inexpensive risk that didnt pan out. Further, Tanya understood the culture of Transylvito to be more meritocratic than most royal sides, so they respected her as a worthy opponent. Did she always have this sharp sense for politics? Shed like to say so But when she spouted some very specific greetings to each of the representatives, successfully welcoming them politely as if she had memorized courtly etiquette guides, she started second-guessing herself when it came to matters that were related to being a princess/queen. It was useful though, so she accepted it. In the end, it was agreed to not croak her. Gobwin Knob would be reduced to a level 3 city, and the proceeds of that downgrade will be distributed to the members of the Royal Crown Coalition, with the exception of Jetstone. In return, Prince Ansom will take possession of the side of Gobwin Knob via Tanya turning the side to Jetstone, which will be followed by the Prince splitting off his own side, with Tanya as Chief Warlord. Gratifyingly, both Maggie and Sizemore were willing to stay on, despite Tanya offering them the chance to leave. The gobwins and hobgobwins were to be croaked to the last, a measure that Tanya could not convince them to budge on. She was fine with the similar disbanding of the remaining uncroaked though. With the expected peaceful state, they would just drain the treasury with their upkeep as they rotted into nothing. However, to help the new Royal side get on its feet, a few of Gobwin Knobs previous cities will be turned over to the new side, as well as rights to several city sites that were razed completely by the Coalition. In total, the side would boast nine city sites, with ten total city levels before Sizemore gets to rebuilding them. The natural allies were given a chance to join the new side, but all declined. Naturally, the remaining eleven city sites Gobwin Knob had conquered before the Coalition formed would be distributed to the other members of the Coalition, Six of them to Unaroyal, who previously owned three of them. So ended Tanyas brief reign as Queen. It made sense, she only asked to be a princess, after all. Even if being forced to abdicate burned in her breast with a hatred that could only be sated by the dying screams of Duke Nozzle, the foremost advocate for her croaking. --------------------------- King Stately was a short, portly man, even by the standards of the locals. Tanya had expected him, with his image displayed by Maggie, to be furious with Ansom for bringing absolutely nothing to benefit Jetstone, taking all the gains and separating off to his own side But apparently the man was ecstatic, proud of his sons accomplishments. Now son, we have an unbroken bloc of royal sides. Stately said, joyous in the proclamation. I never expected King Salines line to have continued. Imagine, Stanley the Worm being a Regent this whole time! He laughed at the irony. Tanya distinctly did not contradict their assumption. In fact, she had reinforced it, boldly claiming that Stanley had delayed her popping for as long as possible so he could rule for as long as possible. This was an actual mechanic, and handily explained her ruinously large upkeep. Both Stately and Ansom were flabbergasted at the idea of a warlord with casting, but she had created a gem from her (preemptively filled) purse right in front of Ansom to prove her claim. Apparently, there was an actual proverb in Scripture about how new, never before seen things happen all the time, and one must adapt or croak. Tanya was thankful that the magical information infusion skipped over the details of Scripture, even if it would probably be useful. The idea of suddenly having an encyclopedic knowledge of proverbs and aphorisms of a religion seemed disturbing at a level she couldnt quite explain. Yes Father, we did not expect that. King Ansom said, smiling nervously. He didnt seem comfortable in the throne, despite being literally born to sit there. Ansom had decided to give her a chance to name the new side, as a concession to her proper ownership of it. Tanya had decided to name it Yojo Mojo, which was a variation of Mahou Youjo, which roughly translated as A little girls magic. If she was going to be a magical girl princess, she might as well lean into it. Mojo was also, incidentally, a synonym for Juice, which she did not know until Sizemore mentioned it. She thought about Shojo Mojo, to better reflect her apparent age, but something about the diminutive spoke to her as fitting better. So King Ansom was now the King of Yojo Mojo, which he didnt dislike enough to overrule her on. Tanya didnt explain the translation to him, which was probably why he didnt dismiss it. It was just a rhyming name with magical connotations to him, which he accepted as possibly increasing their odds of popping additional casters. Youve managed to keep two of the Worms casters, too. Stanley added, his smile widening. I had no idea he had a Dirtamancer! Lord Rockwell will be indispensable for rebuilding, I agree. King Ansom said, very clearly thinking about ending the call. Apparently, Sizemore was a Noble, popped under the reign of the King that Stanley served before the odd events that made him Overlord. Maggie was not; she was the only caster that was popped under Stanleys reign, which went a long way to explain why she was so loyal to the man before he croaked. Tanya decided to step in. We must be wary of Faq, your majesty. She pointed out. The Arkenpliers and Arkenhammer are both attuned to the same side, and Queen Jillian is quite volatile. To be more precise, Wanda controls Jillians mind, and Wanda is quite volatile. The spell that was used to control Jillian definitely made her a very unreliable ally to the coalition, though. That was the whole point of the spell. Hrm. Yes. King Stately said, frowning but still agreeing. While she is a queen, Ive never heard of this Faq before. Which is strange, youd think I would have. I can confirm that she was heir to a kingdom of the same name. Tanya said. Wanda did mention Faq was Jillians old side, after all. Given that she knew exactly where an abandoned capital site was, I assume she founded it on the same one. Where did she get the funds, though? It stank of yet another precognitive conspiracy from Marie. ...There are no capital sites on record in the area you mentioned. King Stately said. Unfortunately, without a map to focus her spatial sense of her units, she only had a vague idea of where exactly the site was. Don King maintains ignorance on any such sites, but will send a scouting force to locate this queendom and establish a diplomatic dialogue. King Ansom hummed. Well, I believe that concludes the relevant topics. It was a pleasure speaking to you as a peer, Father. Break. King Statelys image winked out, and Maggie calmly went back to a resting state. King Ansom brooded silently, and Tanya felt her feet refuse to move, a silent order to remain while the King thought. ...Do you really think that Jillian betrayed us all? Tanya snorted. Queen Jillian doesnt have the capacity for this level of subterfuge. she said insistently. Her enhanced political intuition was quite useful at times. Wandas goal is to unite the Arkentools. She said as much. I have no reason to believe that the mental control spell that she put Jillian under has been dropped just because Wandas now her subordinate. Really, the idea that Wanda would relish the opportunity to control her ruler was much more reasonable to Tanyas mind. Ansom was surprisingly happy when he heard that Jillian was mentally compromised ever since she first got captured. So we must assume that Jillian will be convinced that her best way forward would be to gain the strength to conquer Charlescomm. And the reach to locate the Arkenshoes, which Wanda also mentioned as being the fourth and final known one. Of course, she didnt know 100% whether or not uncroaked Stanley was still attuned to the Arkenhammer, but it seemed likely. King Ansom hummed in thought. Well, theres nothing we can do for now except wait and build up. Support Chief Caster Rockwell in whatever he needs, focus your magical efforts on spelling up all of our towers. Now that the armored dwagon has finished popping, I will be focusing our production efforts on building a scouting force. While Ansom wasnt the biggest fan of the units that could be popped from Gobwin Knob (the city still retained the name), Tanya had convinced him of the utility of them: Spidews were tunnel-capable heavy mounts with reasonably high speed, their wall-climbing ability allowed them to act as pseudo-siege units, Twolls were also tunnel capable heavies that could generate value with their Fabrication special, saving the side shmuckers in city upkeep, and dwagons were dwagons. Enough said. Tanya saluted her new boss. Yes sir. Chapter 9 It was nice, being part of a side with no enemies. At least, no active ones. While Faq was an existential threat diplomatically they were probably one of the best off, as Queen Jillian was supposedly in love with King Ansom. Her reliability was negative, so beyond treating that border as potentially hostile and thus scouting it thoroughly there wasnt much else to do about it on Tanyas end. Diplomacy was the concern of the King. Tanya spent most turns escorting Sizemore and Maggie to rebuild (with an apparently safe two-caster linkup that significantly discounted things) and upgrade the various cities, splitting the three-thousand-ish Jetstone infantry that turned along with the city up into forces to garrison the cities. Tanyas juice was spent either converting those units into garrison units with moneymancy, discounting the final purchase of the city upgrades, or supplying the towers of those cities with some deadly anti-air spells. A few Jetstone warlords were assigned to manage the cities productivity as well as defenses, their Loyalty easily transitioning to serve King Ansom, just as simple as if King Stately croaked and Ansom was promoted that way. There wasnt enough for each city to have one, so they focused on getting two extra cities up to level 3 so they could start popping Noble warlords. The city looks good. Tanya said, looking over the new city of Fukuokay as the sun rose. It was upgraded straight to level two and set to produce garrison twolls, two per turn, until the city hit the cap of heavy/knight garrison units. Oddly, the signamancy of the new twolls was significantly different than the old ones: they came in red/blue pairs, and gained horns, as if they were muscular oni instead of brown-skinned fat men. This included the tiger-striped loincloths being their only clothing options. They still fought with iron clubs either way, though. Thank you. Sizemore said, smiling softly. I see so much more of what a city can be, when linked up with Maggie. Its inspiring. Maggie sipped her breakfast tea. I admit to taking pleasure in shaping this city to be more in line with your signamancy, Princess. The city looked a lot like a Japanese suburb, with the towers base being a big fancy high school, with a radio tower sticking out of it, a copy of Tokyo tower. The metal exposed tower had poor defenses against aerial attacks, but had twice as many platforms as it should. It was not designed to withstand or repel aerial attacks, but to instead obliterate any who try. Is that why there werent any pre-loaded spells in the tower this time? Tanya asked. Normally, a tower held about five caster levels worth of juice per city level, with one tenth of that being automagically-generated defensive spells. This time, there were no such spells, but instead a total of twelve caster levels for the level 2 city. Yes! Sizemore confirmed. You see, cities arent just one thing, Which was obvious enough that Tanya suspected that this was supposed to be some kind of revelation. Each part of a city has its own value and purpose, and when designing one, you can take away from one part to make another part more advanced. In this case, the minimum juice level on the tower was traded for more maximum capacity. A perfect adjustment for a side with what is effectively a master-class shockamancer. Tanya finished for him before he could elaborate further. I am impressed. Oh, and congratulations on the new level. Sizemore was now level 3, which given that hes never had to croak a unit directly before, is impressive. At least he wasnt lower level than Maggie now, so him being Chief Caster because he was a noble and Maggie wasnt was not quite as egregious as it was before. Thanks. Sizemore said, finishing his breakfast. Well, weve got another city to get to today after you finish spelling up the tower. What do you think of the name Notthesake? Tanyas face scrunched up. Something that sounded like a plea for mercy, and rhymed with Nagasaki? Now that was terrible Signamancy. No. Pick something else. Heroshiner? Just as bad. Maggie hummed. What about Ohsake? Much better. Tanya said, sighing. Why did all of their ideas have to be parodies of Japanese prefectures and cities? ------------------------ Tanya also spent some time drilling and training her knights. Apparently, knights needed to be popped as subordinate to a particular warlord, popping with similar specials. As such, their side now possessed a surprisingly large supply of Recon Knights. Recon was an amazing special for scouting, particularly in the mountainous region that Gobwin Knob resided in, well worth their eighty base upkeep, the same as a whole stack of lesser scouts. They could clear approximately the same amount of semi-rough terrain, anyway. In more open terrain the trade-off was more questionable. In the mountains, it was easily in favor of the Recon knights. While Bogroll was an excellent Lackey, he was a Garrison unit; unable to follow her anywhere but the capital. So she enlisted one of those knights as an aide de camp. She was almost always stacked with her, and it was something of a comfort to feel the date-a-mancy bond of loyalty and admiration that she held for Tanya. Even if Tanyas intertwining bond to her was weak and pitiful in comparison. [Lady Victoria von Secret, level 2] Combat: 26 Defense: 26 Hits: 8 Move: 61 Specials: Flight, Recon, Noble They carried spears that looked suspiciously like bayonets on sticks, and they had what appeared to be some kind of flight suit, with a harness that held their equipment like modern tactical netting would. They had popped forty-eight of the units in addition to Victoria, six stacks that patrolled the territory. Only a few popped with the Noble special, which was rare but not unheard of for knights, which had the same mechanical benefit as the Royal one. With her out-of-hex bonus of two doubled to four and a full stack, the knights had 14 attack and defense, enough to easily croak any feral force found in the Minty Mountains, including dwagons. Although if they found one of those, Tanya sent out a pair of dwagons to screen for them, or just went herself to lend her full bonus. While the odds of a dwagon croaking one of her knights was less than ten percent their odds were essentially zero if those dwagons were attacking other dwagons instead. At least, that was what her magical simulations with mathamancy had determined. It had yet to happen, due to the reinforcements. She was unable to properly expand her magical knowledge, but she had become quite confident in the few spells of Mathamancy and Moneymancy they had learned during the siege. She was also forbidden from entering the Magic Kingdom, so as to preserve the secrecy of her status. The fact that several casters already knew was immaterial, to Ansoms mind. Given that, as far as she knew (and Ansom tried to keep her apprised of the diplomatic situation during their meetings), no other side besides Jetstone seemed to know, he probably had a point. When it was explained to her that the sapience of non-commanders was questionable, she had expected them to act like video game NPCs. Only a few voice lines, essentially a puppet to their programming. The reality is somewhat more complex. Even the least intelligent pikers and stabbers weren''t that simple, they were just rather single-minded in their lust for violence. Their greatest nightmares were to croak without the chance to inflict a single hit of damage. None of them liked the idea of being demoted to garrison unit. They didn''t complain to her face, but one of the effects of the Recon special was much better hearing than normal. While the HR manager in her heart disliked the idea of her workers having complaints about her decisions, put simply those troops needed to occupy those garrisons anyway, they simply could not afford three thousand field units right now. Making them garrison units meant that they didn''t need to spend several tenturns popping such units, instead popping more knights and heavy units. Her knights were even smarter than that. They were organized and disciplined, and while yes, they were violent maniacs whose favorite part of their scouting trips was to stack up and croak whatever ferals they found, they laughed, cried, and gambled with each other like any soldiers from either Earth would. It may be because they are scouts, who must be more intelligent than ordinary troops by necessity, but Tanya definitely understood why King Ansom had instructed her to place a high priority on preserving their forces. They were people too. Princess! One of her higher-level scouts by the name of Whiner von Newsman said as he saluted in place. He was surprisingly competent, despite the bad signamancy on his name. The non-noble knights tended to avoid talking to her when they could pass it through one of the nobles. They had found some of Charlies Archons in Yojo Mojo territory, and Tanya had come flying with a stack of dwagons, mounted with some of their non-flying knights, patterned after King Ansoms more standard set of points. They were just as strong, tougher, and had lower upkeep than Tanyas knights, but lacked the obvious mobility advantages nor did they possess any interesting specials. On the other hand, they could ride dwagons, so that was enough. Hello, Newsman. Tanya said in greeting. She wasnt sure why that felt right, but it did. She turned to the other stack leader that she had assigned recently. Hello as well, Lord White. We are ready for battle, Princess Tanya! Matt von White, another of the Noble knights, said. It might come to that. Tanya acknowledged, But Id prefer to talk. The three stacks approached the group of twelve archons who had ended their turn just eight hexes away from Fukuokay. It was really strange to see the floating airline stewardesses in person, they were taller than her, and each and every one was rather beautiful, albeit not nearly as well dressed. Hail, Archons of Charlescomm. She announced, using a touch of foolamacy to amplify her voice. She had gotten at least a little practice in, from lessons on what little Maggie recalled on the subject. The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. The Archons were composed, appearing as if they were merely waiting for Tanya to arrive. But she could feel the beginnings of fear. They knew of her before or at least some of them did. These Archons must have been involved in the avoided ambush. Their leader, who presumably had the Leadership special (a rarity among knight-class units, but Archons could have it), floated in front, a sign of peaceful intentions. Tanya immediately identified the backup leader, as her earrings let her pick out which Archons had which specials. [Mary Sue, Level 7 Archon] Attack: 18 Defense: 18 Hits: 10 Move: 68 Specials: Shockamancy 6, Dollamancy 1, Leadership 1, Flight, Thinkamancy Magical Bonus: Mile-High Hm, that was an interesting set of specials. She knew from Headmaster Isaac when he was using Archons as an example of a unit with lots of magic that Archons could theoretically be lopsided, having very powerful versions of one of their specials but very little else, but it was rare. Her earrings also told her the effect of that magic item, which seemed to be her high heeled shoes? It reduced the move penalties for flying units going through high mountain hexes. Also, their points were surprisingly similar to her own knights. That was the fallback Archon, though, the one giving her a dirty look. The actual leader was instead a stern looking woman with a pin of a wasp on her lapel in addition to the Charlescomm logo by the name of Janet. Level 5, Leadership 2, Dollamancy 1, and Foolamancy 2, in addition to the base Thinkamancy and Shockamancy 1. By that math Charlescomm had a +2 Chief Warlord bonus. Unless the Arkendish boosted archons like the hammer did dwagons. In which case does he even have a chief warlord? He probably does and the arkendish just doesnt give a bonus like that. Or if it does, it doesnt give it to archons, despite his mass use of them. From the dossier Janet began. You must be Princess Tanya von Degurechaff. She bowed politely, without granting a millimeter more respect than required. Of the new royal side, Yojo Mojo. Yes. It was a power play of theirs, but it did her no good to lose composure over such a petty thing. Charlescomm has not established peaceful relations with Yojo Mojo, and you are in violation of our sovereign airspace. If you surrender, we will ransom you back to your side without interrogation. Unspoken was assuming Charlie pays up. Charlie struck Tanya as valuing his secrets far more than he does his units, so offering a peaceful deal without attempting to get those secrets was going to be appealing. Janet smiled sincerely, and the nervous tension of her compatriots calmed. They were prepared for this interaction; while Tanya wasnt so arrogant as to assume that this force was here purely to make an introduction, it wasnt unreasonable for the man to brief a group that was already going to be going through there. Charlsecomm is purely a battlespace solutions provider, we do not conquer or attack sides without contract. She said, reciting off of a script. Any and all aggression from Charlsecomm units would only be in the event of ongoing conflict with another side that enters into a contract with Charlescomm to provide such solutions. Tanya let the woman go on for another few sentences, and when a pause came up she spoke up: But we have no guarantee that you have not entered such a contract. Twelve Archons can do a lot of damage to our farms and lower level cities, and it is my Duty to resolve this threat to my side. Janet nodded along to her points, anticipating each one. Tanya didnt expect to catch her by surprise, so it didnt bother her. Tanya wouldnt be surprised, given Charlescomms corporate appearance, if their end was guided by a literal flowchart. Charlescomm understands your concerns as a third party to Charlescomm operations, and is prepared to offer our standard free passage agreement to protect both our assets and yours from unprofitable conflict. She held out her hands in a thinkagram pose and text started appearing with a scroll bar, very reminiscent of an end-user license agreement. Tanya looked over the agreement. While it was worded a bit obtusely, she was quite familiar with corporate legal-speak, even in English, and was able to parse it with relative ease. Essentially, Charlescomm agrees to not take any contracts against Yojo Mojo without two turns advance notice, with one hundred thousand shmuckers as a penalty. High, but given that he could pass that cost over to his client, maybe not high enough. In return, an identical penalty was levied to Yojo Mojo if Charlescomm units got croaked by their units. This is absurd. Tanya said, frowning. As written, you could bankrupt us just by throwing your units at one of our unled cities, liquidating our entire side before we could react. She wasnt sure if Archons could make golems, but dumping a bunch of the cheapest possible kind of dollamancy golem would be the perfect method. Janet smiled again, while the other Archons looked nervous or impressed at Tanya. Except for Mary. She was still glaring. Please hold for Charlie. Janet said in a sing-song manner. When the incoming Thinkagram came in, Tanya immediately shut it out. Maggie had warned her about this. You Archons are perfectly capable of acting as an air-gapped relay. Do so. She commanded. Now that precaution cracked Janets composure. Maggies warnings against accepting thinkagrams from Charlie gave Tanya the impression that thinkagrams werent nearly as safe as the thinkamancers would like people to think they are, so few people would ask for that measure. Not that she pointed that out, but the warning didnt make sense without that being true. Nevertheless, Janet held out her fingers and created an image of Being X? Tanya felt her face twist into hate before she could stop herself, but the image dissolved and was replaced by some kind of white furry thing with long ears that were decorated with gold loops. Hello, Princess! Charlies voice was smooth, confident. Would you like to make a contract? Well, if she didnt already know that Charlie never shows his face to people, shed be offended. Yes. Tanya replied, While I would love to croak your units and claim those cute shoes for my side, it would be preferable if we could come to some sort of accord. Her eyes narrowed. But I am not amused at your so-called standard agreement. After the negotiations were concluded, Tanya liked to think she got her side a good deal. After all, while she could make attacks on Yojo Mojo very expensive in the lives of archons, Charlescomm was still a very dangerous side. Strategically, probably their second-greatest threat. Right after Faq. In return for permission for Archons to travel unmolested through Yojo Mojo airspace, which was only valuable because of the sides proximity to Charlescomm, Charlie had to give them a single turn of warning before he could take any offensive action against Yojo Mojo. As in, Yojo Mojo needed to be able to take one whole turn to prepare for suddenly-hostile archons, including the opportunity to attack any still within the battlespace. The penalty was also increased to five hundred thousand shmuckers. In addition, Charlecomm would grant Yojo Mojo two thousand shmuckers of store credit per turn, which could be used to purchase dollamacy items from his catalog, including the Mile-High club shoes, or any other service Charlescomm provides. Given how overpriced those items likely were, this was less lucrative than it seemed. The penalty for breaking the agreement was also five hundred thousand shmuckers on their end, but with adequate ass-covering to prevent Charlie from forcing the payment, and no matter how many violations were made, only one payment would be owed and the contract would be terminated, with any accumulated credit forfeited, and there was also no penalty for actions against Charlescomm assets outside of Yojo Mojo and Charlescomm territory. In other words it safeguarded Yojo Mojo, gave them a minor income stream, and all they had to do was nothing. King Ansom was annoyed that Tanya didnt confirm with him before signing, but agreed that it was a good deal, perfectly in line with their sides strategic objectives, and she did warn him in advance that she intended to cut a deal with Charlie. --------------------------- It was about thirty turns of building up when King Ansom summoned Tanya for a meeting. Due to Sizemore and Maggies efforts, all nine of the city sites were built up to at least level two, with three level three cities: Gobwin Knob, Orgchart, and the city of Gin-G, which was one of Tanyas attempts to use signamancy to improve a citys ability to pop useful units. By using a human resources pun, the city site, whose farms of juniper berries produced an inordinate amount of gin rations, may produce more useful commanders. She just wished that she did a better job conveying her intent to Sizemore and Maggie, they couldnt seem to comprehend the word Jinji, but did their best. You all have done the Titans proud with your diligence to your duties. King Ansom began, But it is time to start honoring our debts. He gestured to a pre-prepared battle map. Tanya didnt recognize the terrain, but all that meant was that it wasnt Yojo Mojos territory. Lord Rockwell, I would like you to start putting in work to improve the capital back to a level five. In addition, I want you to start developing a siege golem, similar in function to Jetstones battle bears. As of now, our only siege is a handful of purple dwagons and some towers we cant effectively move. I wish to be prepared when we need to make more. Sizemore put his hand to his mouth in thought, as was his habit. Hm, that should be an interesting project. If I recall, the battle bears could push maximum size siege towers with only two of them. That is correct. King Ansom confirmed, I realize Stanley has underutilized your talents, Lord Rockwell, but while dwagons and our scout-knights make a fine hammer for our side, we need your expertise to craft an anvil for our enemies. Ansom had explained why siege was so important to an effective attack on a side, even for sides with effective flying forces: Walls were tough, and by bringing siege you either got to go past them easily or force them to put units on the walls, which were non-factors if you also attacked from above or below those walls. Blitzing with high move units sounded like a good strategy until you realize that you need to actually defend the cities you capture. For them, this was not such a big deal, as they could send Sizemore to cheaply rebuild, but if the city was high level it was easier to just have an infantry force ready to defend your new city. But while they could just keep popping spidews to pull siege towers, there were good reasons why Jetstone used battle bears so setting Sizemore on creating a Dirtamancy equivalent was a logical decision. Moving on, Tanya: King Ansom said, shifting somewhat uncomfortably on the throne. Jetstone has been in a state of war with Haggar for twenty-seven turns. It is not going well, the resources that Jetstones has spared for us was a cost they could not afford, so we must repay that debt. Tanya did not like the sound of this. King Ansom continued: Now, as we are peers, and my father refuses to see reason on the matter of our debt, Meaning that King Stately reiterated his previous point on Yojo Mojo not being a colony, We will be trading support with him. First, you will be reinforcing his cities defenses with your shockamancy. In return, we will be allowed to use the services of Ace Hardware, level one novice dollamancer. She really hopes he doesnt ask for more battle bears I will leave the details of his service to yourself and Lord Rockwell, but it will be juice for juice. Tanya exchanged a silent glance with Sizemore, and he tilted his head deferentially. So shell be able to pick, huh? Still, only receiving an equal amount of juice was bad negotiating, if it was an novice dollamancer for master-class shockamancy. But King Ansom saw it as his duty to give Jetstone a good deal, and that was his right as the ruler, to suck up to their primary patrons. Accessories for my knights would be ideal. She said, I suggest ordering one of each of the items I pointed out as useful from Charlies catalog so that Ace may duplicate them. A novice should be able to manage that much Make it so. Ansom ordered, looking at Maggie. Yes, your majesty. Maggie replied, curtseying. She had changed her usual skirt suit to a fancier one when they entered the capital, presumably purchasing the outfit from a dollamancer in the Magic Kingdom. In addition to this, we will be sending some of our knights to support their war effort with scouting and air defense. Ansom said, adding to his orders as ruler. Tanya could sense the words being etched in her memory as an objective, testing itself against her duty and finding itself acceptable. Jetstone will pay their upkeep for as long as they are deployed, and we will be entitled to spoils commiserate with our contribution. Tanya frowned. If I will be in the back lines and my men in the front, I would like to promote Lord White and Lord Kurig to warlord, assuming we are sending one or two stacks. If we are sending three or more, I would like to also promote Lord Newsman. After a moment, she added: At Jetstones expense. Ansom didnt particularly like that idea, but he nodded. They are nobles, so it is acceptable. He replied. We will be sending four stacks, and Father wont pay for the promotion. Costs like that will be considered in spoils calculations. Four? That wasnt good. They only had six Tanya hummed. Well need to reduce our scout density to make sure we cover enough area, and pair them with dwagons to bolster their strength until we can replace them. Tanyas mental map of Yojo Mojos territory flashed in her mind, the scouting routes being adjusted for the change. Lord Webinar will be able to handle the local scouting reports, Tanya. King Ansom said, smiling amusedly. As the Chief Warlord, you need to think of the bigger picture. That goes double for your eventual reign. Ah, Tanya had wondered when King Ansom would say something about her future reign. He never gets through a meeting without mentioning it. Tanya glanced at the former. Jetstone warlord, the level 5 being the highest level one that wasnt Tanya or Ansom. Send me full reports. She ordered. Yes, Princess. Lord Webinar said immediately. Competent man, good attention to detail. He used to be the city manager for Orgchart, but Ansoms orders re-arranged things so that Lord Webinar would be at the capital. When do I leave? Tanya asked. Next turn. King Ansom answered, You will meet my brother, Prince Tramennis, at a rendezvous point in Unaroyal territory that is within one turn of move for you and your aide de camp, and he awaits with unipegataur mounts to get you to Jetstone territory in the turn after that. In other words, spend juice before leaving. He will instruct you further at that time. He paused, visibly considering whether or not he should say the next thing on his mind. ...Beware my brother. He can be so terribly charming. What. ...I dont think that will be an issue. Tanya drily replied. Chapter 10 Caster juice was usually measured in fractions of caster levels, as a level two caster has twice the juice of a level one, a level three has half again as much as a level two, and so on. This meant that, as a level six caster with an artifact doubling her juice supply, Tanya could load up a tower very fast indeed. Further, while a linkup gave efficiency benefits above and beyond the pooling of their juice pools, and they had leveled from the experience of rebuilding and customizing so many cities, Sizemore and Maggie had only eight such levels between them. So Tanya used what she thought was the most valuable spell in her wand to use up her juice for the turn; Friendship Unity Magic. It allowed her to channel juice into another caster, of which the Sizemore-Maggie system eagerly turned into more upgrades to the city. It was a bit of an interesting sensation, actually. Made her think of touching a live wire, but instead of grounding out through her, it instead drank in all she could send, her own potential being grounded through the Dirtament of the city. "I see so much more of the mountain" Sizemore said, with Maggie''s voice accompanying his. "So many gems that we missed" Tanya liked the sound of that. "Remember, you need to transform the tunnel system." Tanya ordered. "Yes, but instead of defense, perhaps a different configuration." Maggie said, with Sizemore''s voice dully echoing them. Idly, Tanya wondered how long ago they stopped mining. One of the more minor secrets of Moneymancy was that gems popped over time when mines were left fallow or more precisely the mines replenished at a fraction of the rate that it can be mined. It was one of the places spare Numbers went to when things depopped. If Sizemore was still a novice at the time he may have just assumed that gems were pre-placed. There was probably just a very welcome extra hundred thousand or five waiting in the mountain. "We can shift it to a defensible arrangement after the mining is complete." They sent the battle bears and the marbits back to Jetstone, but they did keep the siege towers, so they had a modest quantity of digger stacks to do the heavy lifting. The city trembled as the Dirtamancy optimized the tunnel system. "It is done." The pair said at the same strength of tone. Faintly, Tanya registered them issuing orders to the digger units to start mining. Wait. "If you find something big, store it securely without telling the King about it. If he thinks we''re rich, he''ll start turning over our treasury to Jetstone." Tanya ordered, "Keep things plausibly modest, we''ll discuss it further on my return." One of the things about Duty is that it applies to your side, not your ruler. If the Ruler was making decisions that imperiled the side, it was the responsibility of the Chief Caster and Warlord to protect the side from those decisions. It wasn''t so bad that a coup was in order, not that it was possible for Tanya to survive such a thing, but hiding assets so the King wouldn''t throw them away? Tanya didn''t even feel a twinge of hesitation. Tanya spent the last of her juice refilling the supply of the linked casters and lifted off the ground, where Lady Victoria was ready to leave. --------------------------- Prince Trammenis did not look very much like his brother. King Ansom had classically handsome features; a strong jaw, a stern gaze, and neatly combed blond hair on top of a build that shouted ''fairy tale knight'', the Prince Charming that will ride in, slay the dragon, and marry the Princess. which, now that Tanya thought about it, may explain why he had that uncanny knack at detecting princesses. Signamancy was still a very strange magical discipline, but like all magic, it had its own internal logic. It had to, else anyone who used it would become irrevocably insane. Prince Trammenis, in contrast, was a fop. Delicate where Ansom was sturdy. His brown hair fell artfully in a controlled sloppiness, like he had just gotten out of bed. His chin was weak. In other words, he was a bishounen. Tanya thought that he would fit in well on the cover of a yaoi manga. "It''s lovely to meet you again, Princess." Tramennis said when Tanya landed in front of him. The rendezvous point was a Unaroyal farm hex, taking the form of a grape vineyard. Trammenis sipped a glass of wine as he sat on the porch of the luxurious chateau. Tanya accepted the glass that was offered by one of the Unaroyal infantry, pressed into menial service while the visiting warlords spoke. "Likewise, Prince." Tanya said, matching the informality he showed by remaining seated with her words. The wine was rather good, despite liking it in her first life she never really developed the kind of refined palette that others boast of so the best description she could offer was that it was a dry white. She just faked wine snobbery when necessary. So are we to discuss my itinerary now or at the end of turn? Ah, lets put off that boring stuff. Prince Trammennis said dismissively. Id much rather talk about how my brothers been doing as King. He just wants gossip. That makes sense, one of the cultural aspects of the turn based warfare system that Tanya had noticed was that the vast majority of units were slackers. They could generally afford to slack off, they did their duties and then moved on to favored pastimes, which in this odd fantasy stasis meant mostly card games and elaborate social webs that only date-a-mancers could make sense of. Tanya tried to keep up with the gossip among her knights, at least, but it was dizzying. Victoria was better at it then her. Well, given that Tanya didnt strictly need to know their exact route, as long as they left on the mounts before the turn started, she could afford to chit-chat. Hes doing Tanya paused as she tried to encapsulate King Ansom of Yojo Mojo. ...Adequately. Tramennis winced. That bad, huh? Tanya spent a moment composing her response. Ki Ansom does not wish to be King. Tanya eventually said. Its very obvious to anyone who sees him work. Oh? Trammennis said, interested. What makes you say that? You probably didnt get to hear a first hand account of the negotiations. Tanya said, to set the stage. Ansom wanted to see me remain Queen. Sofa King and Hobbittm wanted me croaked. Transylvito sided with Ansom, and Unaroyal was the one who proposed the compromise. Slately forced Ansom into agreeing. The other six sides didnt really get a voice, as they were far smaller sides, even smaller than Yojo Mojo, or they were just not as involved in the relevant politics. Ansom still sees himself as a loyal son of Jetstone, at best he considers himself my Regent. He let me name the side, most of the cities Thats my brother, all right. Trammenis said, chuckling. He was always willing to jump into the dwagon crap to rescue a princess. No doubt he sees his throne as no different. If he were to abdicate too soon, no doubt the Sofa King would soon work towards fabricating a caucus belli. Tanya said, grimly. Something that he could attack us over without Jetstone coming to our aid. Hm? Interesting theory. Trammenis said, scratching his chin. On further review, there was the tiniest dusting of stubble, barely visible. I try not to assume that people are incapable of things, but the Sofa King He lacks the tact, Id say. So you think hed just attack? Tanya asked, deliberately going to the other extreme. I wouldnt go that far. Prince Trammenis said reflexively. But historically, when large royal coalitions have bad blood, it is usually resolved through some controlled conflict. He finished off his wine glass and held it out for a refill. An honor duel, scheduled skirmish, or even a small war. Small? Tanya asked, raising her eyebrow. As in, one with a defined end point and stakes. Usually, you win by taking two cities, and earn a third as a prize. Trammenis explained. Or a caster, or an heir, an artifact He waved his hand vaguely. Things of that nature. The taken cities are usually razed or sold back to the original side. So you gamble a single unit, a single hex of units, or a sizable chunk of your side. Tanya summarized. She frowned. I suppose thats preferable to a war of annihilation. Jetstone and Unaroyal, at least, would stand beside you in the event that the Sofa King decides to take things too far. Trammenis assured her. Which meant he was free to work against her as long as they kept it low key until the critical moment. Sensing that his assurance was not enough, he added: If nothing else, we would be very cross with the Sofa King if he was to act against you when you were busy aiding our own conflicts. I will pen a missive to my Father to give the man a stern warning, and Im sure Queen Bea will be willing to second it. She supposed shed have to trust the Sofa King to be rational, else what was visited on Gobwin Knob be visited on him in turn. This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. That reminded her What level of aid is Unaroyal providing for this war? Tanya asked. Beyond the diplomatic assurances. Mostly that, keeping her armies ready to respond against any new entrants into the conflict. Tramennis said breezily, finishing off his second glass of wine. But they have also dispatched a modest military force to Ossomers command, led by the esteemed Lady Sylvia. Hm. Whats she like? Tanya asked, more to make conversation. She eyed the sky and knew they still had two hours until the end of turn, and as long as they left within ten minutes of the end of turn theyll make it to the end of their move. Oh, absolutely dreadful company. Trammenis said, smiling widely now that the topic shifted from politics to gossip again. She was a stabber, you know. It was a huge scandal when she got promoted to Noble. That was possible? Prince Jeftichew is still disgraced over the whole thing, and it happened two hundred turns ago. Wait, you could promote units to the nobility? Tanya asked. Trammenis looked a tad abashed. Ah, the disgraced prince is a carnymancer. He explained. Ah. He doesnt make many friends by defending his odious discipline so ardently. He promoted Lady Sylvia simply to prove that he could. He paused for a beat. Well, thats what he claims, anyway. Instead, he simply proves why commoners ought not to be promoted above their station. Tanya frowned. Is Lady Sylvia incompetent? She asked. Tramennis waved his hand in a so-so manner. She can fight well enough, to be certain. He conceded. Its a rare promoted infantry that ever manages to level up after being promoted, and she managed it. But shes a blunt instrument, she has no finesse. Put her leading a stack of knights or heavies or both and shell use them well, but being a Warlord is more than just the Leadership special. Tanya thinks she is beginning to understand. So she can lead a battle, but not a war. Tanya summarized. Exactly. Tramennis said, smiling again. As long as shes not in charge of making any kind of important decision, I have no issue with Lady Sylvias leadership. He sighed dramatically. The issue here is that Lady Sylvias been sent as the leader of the Unaroyal contingent. Ossomer still outranks her, but I worry about what shell do when shes given latitude. You seem to know her well. Tanya observed. I spend more time among other sides than I do my own. Tramennis said, pride leaking into his voice. Its my job to know the important people in all of the sides Im with, and Lady Sylvia Lazarus is Unaroyals highest level warlord, short of their Chief Warlady, Princess Cruz. In other words, he was an ambassador in the truest sense, an exceptionally polite spy. The reason for this meeting becomes clear: it was to build a dossier on her own personality. it was of no consequence. Diplomacy and espionage were words for information warfare, and if that was his Duty as a warlord, she won''t begrudge him for it. Tanya accepted a refill on her own glass of wine. "So, if I''ll be assisting the war in Haggar, I suppose it would be prudent to know the dossiers of the notables on that side." "Must we?" Trammenis asked. Tanya stared at him. "Very well. The first one you''ll want to know about is Prince Sammy" --------------------------- The next few turns were spent arming Jetstone''s anti-air defenses. It was not an enjoyable experience. First, there was the argument on how to count her optimizing the juice that was already there. She won that one, Trammenis agreeing to count it in full. Given that they were trading novice dollamancy for her master shockamancy, it was the least they could do. Well, she also threatened to leave the bulky, non-streamlined defense spells in place if they didn''t. They were able to see reason after that. The second odious part of the whole affair were the courtiers. Cities can benefit from being managed by a commander, improving all aspects of their production. However, this consumes that commander''s attention, preventing them from leaving the city, casting certain kinds of spells, or in the case of warlords, preventing them from drilling the garrison. Farms and mines similarly benefit from attention. There was another option, however. You could pop courtiers, non-combat units, which can collectively manage things in return for a portion of the savings. Theoretically, it was cheaper to use courtiers. In practice, you generally wanted at least one warlord managing the defenses of each of your cities, so you aren''t actually saving anything. The real benefit to courtiers was the fact that they served the same purpose as the garrison twolls in Gobwin Knob: they served as assistants, secretaries, and porters for the commanders. Well, the twolls made for very poor secretaries, but their fabricate special provided a level of convenience that Tanya didn''t really appreciate until she had to go without. And unlike courtiers, twolls could defend the city, although courtiers were theoretically commanders and could organize stacks if nothing else. Yojo Mojo had courtiers. They were all salarymen and office ladies, coordinating the twolls and diggers efficiently and ensuring that Ansom had all of the information he needed to make decisions for the side. Jetstone courtiers, on the other hand reminded Tanya of the Palace of Versailles, the contemporary accounts of it. The courtiers did their assigned tasks, of course, but they spent most of their efforts on petty power struggles, trying to gain the nebulous favor of the royalty. The worst part was their attempts to shame her in front of the court by getting her to read off a list of around twelve hundred names, every single Jetstone unit that she croaked in her attacks. That particular courtier got to learn that misrepresenting the King''s commands was worth disbanding. Well, everyone else got to learn it. The third odious part of the whole thing were the cloak and dagger aspects. Because being a caster was a secret. So they had to go through this whole song and dance of Prince Trammenis "showing off proper culture" to her, touring the art and sampling the various fine foods that filled Jetstone larders. There were rumors aplenty as to what the fop and her were "really" doing up in the tower when privacy was requested, but mortifyingly, none of them were accurate. The experience wasn''t completely terrible. Trammenis, appropriate to his role as ambassador, was pleasant company. He didn''t even try to flirt with her or Victoria, despite being very willing to encourage the rumors otherwise. The latter was opsec, but the former was an unexpected and pleasant surprise. He was two-faced in his tour, saying all of the properly pompous and arrogant things in the presence of the courtiers, but being perfectly willing to mock and joke about those same topics in a more private setting. If he was tailoring his approach to her own preferences, he had her pegged. In addition, the dollamancer that was to be traded, Lord Ace Hardware, was pretty personable as well. Further, he was of a size that Tanya thought was actually reasonable, although he still probably was on the short side by her old standards. He actually reminded her of that American from one of her childhood indulgences, Street Fighter. Although that was probably mostly the hair and muscles, as Ace was far more tan than Guile was. I cant level just by copying Holly Shortcakes designs! Ace said as Tanya examined some of his side-projects. Always with the battle bears and the LFNs, when I cant make half as many of them. Dollamancy is more than just plush and fashion! Its about action! As she understood things, they also used Lloyd, their dittomancer, to multiply Aces output. So they got four caster-levels out of the man instead of just one every turn. Im inclined to agree. Tanya said, putting down what reminded her mostly of a jetpack. It was incomplete, of course. Golems have upkeep, and while you can have an advantage by having a high level caster augmenting them with their bonus, youre not in a position to do that. Nor have you been deployed to gain the necessary combat experience. She paused, considering it. On top of that, the temporary and limited nature of your contract with us would make golems a foolish choice. She gestured to where Lady Victoria was standing at attention. I was thinking, instead, of outfitting my knights. Her artifacts covered most of what she could possibly need, with the orders from Charlie covering pretty much everything else. A pair of mile high club shoes and some rainment removed all but the most extreme high mountain move penalties, which was the only thing she needed that her armor, weapon, and crown didnt provide. Aces eyes sparkled like he was an anime character at the proposal. Y-you mean it? At Tanyas nod, he rushed towards where Lady Victoria was standing, looking intently over her clothing with the eye on an expert, and quite enthusiastic, cosplayer. I really like the look here. It screams action, battle, and flight all in one. Her knights literally wore flight suits, as in, suits usually worn by pilots, so that tracked. Did you have anything in mind? Because Ive been sketching stuff for the last three turns just for fun. He snapped his fingers and the courtier that was his personal assistant (Tanya understood that it was a punishment duty, reserved for those who have displeased the King) fetched the drafts, placing them in front of Tanya for her perusal. The sketches all used Lady Victoria as the base, of course. It swapped out her spear for an axe-like shovel, with notes scrawled in the margin about her signamancy. The shovel did seem to fit her, and honestly, Tanya thought that there wasnt nearly enough trench digging in this wargame for her liking. She had a vague idea of making use of a siege towers diggers to create fortifications to defend, with the assumption that it would restore at the start of turn. When she had brought it up with Sizemore, he had seemed contemplative on the potential effects, and couldnt dismiss it out of hand as a bad idea, with the sole caveat that doing such a thing would reduce the number of infantry she could fit in each hex when it came to directing a column, and it would require a warlord to coordinate the troops to actually take advantage of it. They didnt get the opportunity to test it out in controlled conditions, unfortunately. In addition to the shovel, it included a different outfit, one that was more like Tanyas own, but still quite different. The jacket resembled a WWI officers coat, and the skirt went slightly lower, a centimeter or two below the knee instead of above it. It certainly looked warmer than Tanyas own magical girl outfit, including leggings rather than knee socks. Interesting. Tanya allowed. But Lady Victoria is not my only knight, so I would require something more standardized. I getcha. Gotta have the full set. Ace said, taking the papers back and looking them over himself. Lady Victoria looked over the caster''s shoulder. "It looks so good!" She exclaimed, excited at the concept of a new outfit. Ace ignored her. Okay, so the important thing you gotta know about accessories is that they dont run the show. Tanya blinked in confusion. I mean, an infantry unit can only have so good of gear. A knight can have better gear, a warlord better still, and a Chief or King? They get the best. He gestured to her outfit. Limited run stuff like that? Crazy valuable. Youre pretty much maxed out with those artifacts. Yeah, I could maybe make you some magic underpants that have something nice He paused, before grinning at his own cleverness. I mean, something else nice. Tanya sighed at the bawdy joke. He continued: But that Charlsecomm stuff is pretty much taking up all the wiggle room you got. You have the full collectors edition. Tanya was beginning to think that his habit of using toy collector lingo meant something important about his signamancy. So theres a budget here. Tanya said, more to keep the conversation moving. Yeah, exactly. Ace said, nodding along. First, the basics: Your knights are premium models, so they can handle plus three weapons and armor. Thatll be about five caster turns each for a set. Ouch. A little more, actually. Slightly less than five for two sets of plus two. Hm, shell have to think about that. They have ways to improve his efficiency, anyway, and she likes the idea of exceptionally elite troops. Would it be possible to give them the barrier special? Tanya asked. My armor gives it to me, but Im unsure how simple it would be. Barrier? Ace asked, thinking. ...Yeah, that ones pretty common. Soaking one good hit is all it''s usually good for, but for flying knights? He looked at Lady Victoria again. ...Yeah, that could work well. Three each? He said, unsure. That sounds right. Never made it before. Once more, the limits of a novice dollamancer become clear. ...Perhaps if I contracted a more experienced dollamancer for the design work? Tanya offered, thinking of Prince Jack. It was deliberately provocative. Ace scowled at the idea. I can do this! He insisted. I am ACE HARDWARE! He continued at the top of his lungs. The courtier, a rather foppish man, assigned to Ace lost his own composure as well, gasping at the casters anger. Accessories are my thing! I can kit your knights out with shock-action spears! Oh? What are those? Tanya asked, concealing her smile. Now that was a motivated employee. Ah, well, you see, an accessory cant turn a piker into an archer. Its not their function, its not their Fate. Accessories pair with you, they dont replace you. He pulled out one of his papers, showing a sketch of Lady Victorias spear, which still resembled a bayonet at the end of a metal pole. But this looked more like a musket. But a weapon with some shockamancy action can get a few shots at range before closing in. Someone like a King would be able to just keep shooting, each shot as strong as a weapon-swing, maybe stronger. But a knight? Could still get one per battle, maybe one per level per battle. Tanya grinned. This was exactly what her knights needed: guns. Sure, it wasnt quite a gun, but it was damned close. I think that this would be the ideal accessory for my finest troops. She said, letting her true opinion show on her face. Ace pumped his fist in victory. Go moJoe! Chapter 11 In ten turns, Jetstone had accumulated over one hundred caster levels of debt. In that time, Ace had finished the proposed set of equipment, and created one set with the help of Lloyd. The shock-action spear worked wonderfully, conveying the natural shockamancy that was simple kinetic energy into a stabbing beam of light. It didn''t do any more damage than a regular stab (which, to be clear, was very dangerous from a knight-class unit), but it did so at range, allowing her knights to attack while closing in, or in the case of smaller engagements, dispatch at low risk to themselves. With a little experimenting, which was a charitable word for ''shout things in Japanese while swinging her lightsaber'', she discovered a usable spell that allowed her to replicate the effect with a flying slash for a minor juice expense. Unfortunately, she didnt discover any other spells by chance this time. Lady Victoria had the first suit, of course. She was given a customized appearance with hers, which will probably be done for each of her warlords but she liked the idea of uniforms too much to go so far for the rest. Ace had also said offhandedly that she had requested that magic underwear he had mentioned, but Tanya was too embarrassed to ask what they actually did. Or what they looked like. They weren''t expensive, though. In full, the equipment provided a +2 bonus to both combat and defense, the barrier special, the shock-action attack, the mile-high special, and the ability to be disguised as clouds or rocks with foolamancy. The warlords gain two additional pieces of equipment: hats that can pass messages and a set of goggles that provide a bonus to detecting foolamancy. It was expensive, nine caster-turns of juice for each set. Fortunately, Ace leveled after successfully making the first spear, and became an Adept to boot. Unfortunately, Tanya had to deploy to the warzone now that Jetstones cities were adequately protected against air attacks. So the additional sets had to wait. Tanya floated in front of her nominal boss for the next few turns: Chief Warlord of Jetstone, Ossomer. He was even larger than Ace, muscular in a way that reminded Tanya of superheroes although that may just be the hairstyle. Was it Superman that had the single black lock hanging down or his secret identity? Tanya couldnt remember. He was level nine, not quite as strong as Ansom but the fact that Jetstone had two warlords of such a prodigious level was a credit to their military tactics. Prince Ossomer, its a pleasure to finally meet you. He wasnt able to attend the ball that Tanya attended at Spacerock a couple tenturns ago. Tanya. He said simply, looking over the map. Your forces are doing good work. My compliments to your drilling of them. White spoke quite well of your leadership. She looked over the map as well. It appears that Haggar is on the defensive. Tanya observed. Recon didnt do a great job of seeing within enemy cities, they still couldnt see through walls. But it looked like they had few units out on the field. They are. Ossomer confirmed, But they havent surrendered. That means theyre planning something. Lord White approached and saluted. "Princess, the new scouting reports are in!" Tanya was suddenly flooded with a mental map of the battle space, the natural Thinkamancy of the scout special allowing Lord White to share that information with an allied commander just as easily as the deployed scouts relayed that information to him. Tanya immediately stacked up with the infantry that were constructing the battlemap and started issuing orders as the stack leader to update things for the Prince. "Ah, tell me, Ossomer: does Haggar know of how you''ve been getting your intelligence?" She asked. "Haggar possesses a changemancer, a turnamancer, and a findamancer." Ossomer said as a reply. "King Dickie''s Tracy has a keen mind and will continually search for stray scouts, croaking them with a strike force of orlies. Your knights have very high move, and so have sojourned out only far enough to be able to retreat to base camps, so they have been unable to attack them." That was logical. Orlies were weak, but inexpensive and fast. If you didn''t have higher value fliers to screen with them, hunting down scouts was probably the best use case. Of course, whether it was a problem really depended on just how many orlies Haggar had. "So the question remains." Tanya said, "Does Haggar think we can see this attack force?" It was fairly strong, forty stacks of infantry surrounding two siege towers, each pulled by a stack of Mondays, which were ferocious orange tiger-like beast units that no one likes facing due to their special, which lets them heal and replenish move, up to a limit, when they overeat. Like all carnivorous beast units, they could eat in the middle of combat. Pallets of meat and pasta meals were readied in self-propelled wagons (self-propelled is granted by turnamancy, as in turning wheels) for the extra mobility they provided, or for an emergency snack. Finally, there were two more stacks of Mondays led by warlords, mounted by Haggar''s Sunday Knights. She wasnt sure why they were named that, beyond some kind of natural pair that the manic Mondays had with them. The overflight of four stacks of orlies that stayed low to the ground seemed tailor-made to dissuade her knights from doing a raiding attack. Not that it would be productive without having brought dwagons to the battlefield. Tanya quickly counted up the units that had enough move to attack that force, then attempted to calculate a battle between all of those and that hex. We cant attack. She concluded. Maybe one in five chance of victory with all of our current forces. Careful Princess, Chief Healomancer Pierce said, lifting his martini glass instead of a more normal gesture. Watergate makes those siege towers quick. Changemancys like that. Turnamancer makes it worse. How quick? Tanya asked, counting hexes. They were camped here, eighteen hexes away from them, and the nearest city was Sansabelt, the third and final city that Ossomer captured before he ran out of units to effectively attack Haggar further. It was level 3, brought down to 2 to bolster Jetstones failing treasury. Two full siege towers, augmented with changemancy? Yeah that was probably enough to take that city, given how anemic the standing army there was. Distance was only twenty-nine hexes from their attack force. Theyd be right up at the gate, too Will they move fifteen hexes per turn? Yeah. Pierce said, Were going to lose good units to them. Tanya asked a few questions about Sansabelts defenses, and ran another calculation. ...Without reinforcements nor interference, Sansabelt has one in twenty chance of survival. She ran another calculation. If we move this columns forces into Sansabelt, our odds improve to seventy-five percent. Ossomers column was really quite weakened, wasnt it? After seeing the Royal Crown Coalitions forces against Gobwin Knob, these armies just seemed tiny. Woah, I didnt know we had a royal Mathamancer here. Pierce joked. Tanya glared at him, he knew that he was supposed to be circumspect about Tanyas casting. There wasnt any Unaroyal units in this hex, so it didnt matter right now, but Ah. Whats Lady Sylvias current objective? Tanya asked. She should be here Ossomer pointed towards a spot on the map, where a coin depicting Unaroyals livery was placed. She insisted on splitting up our forces, distracting them by attacking Flyopen with her weinerrammers. Tanya hummed. Perhaps my forces should support her attack? An airspace assault to split their attention, lending my leadership bonus it also probably gave her personally better odds than going to Sansabelt. HA! Ossomer laughed at the bold plan. I knew that youd suggest that. Yes, well fortify Sansabelt this turn, while you support her attack next turn. Well need to pop some additional natural allies, but we will hold the city. Tanya nodded along with his plan. Yes, that sounds prudent. She had plenty of juice, still Hows your juice, Chief Healomancer? Tanya asked. We had some action this turn. The man said grimly, his previous joking attitude immediately vanishing at the question. Did you know the presence of a Healomancer in the battlespace increases the incapacitation rate? Fate. Ossomer didnt roll his eyes, but his subtle turning away from Pierce seemed to have the same energy of here he goes again. I hate it. It means that I get to see scores of incapacitated units that we just didnt have the juice to save. Even with the nurses. He raised his empty martini glass to the stack of altruist elves. You ladies are great. Hm. How many? She asked. Too many. Pierce said, before actually answering her question. If I could just have another two stacks of nurses, we could save them all. What is that in caster levels? Tanya asked. Four. He immediately replied. They get one quarter the juice of a full healomancer, and theyre not as efficient with it. I could do it in three. Tanya was pretty sure, from her abbreviated education on non-commander casting units (Headmaster Isaac seemed to think that it was very important information for her, although he always used Archons as an example), he was leaving out some leadership/teamwork bonus of some kind, but he probably couldnt do that unless he was also casting, which he cant do without his own juice. She glanced at one of the altruist elves and spent a tiny amount of juice to assess their upkeep, out of curiosity. Ah, that was actually pretty cheap. Only twenty shmuckers each? Efficient. She can see why Jetstone used them despite having a Healomancer. Three it is. Tanya said, smiling. She drew her wand and pointed it at the despondent Healomancer. Friendship Unity Magic. She said in Japanese. A bolt of electricity shot out, transferring half of Tanyas wands juice into him. There were shouts of surprise, of course, but Ossomer was stoic, clearly understanding that Tanya couldnt have done something dangerous to Pierce without breaking alliance first. The chaos was silenced by Pierce shouting orders to clear his way to the tents that the injured were placed in. Now that she looked at him, he actually had modern military signamancy, like her knights did. His green jacket wouldnt look out of place in modern military mobile hospital wait. The Americans dont use green like that anymore, they use desert camo primarily. Korean or Vietnam war era, then. This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. Military history trivia aside, Tanya used one of her wands more mundane functions, taking a scrap of paper from the table and writing some orders for her knights. White? She asked, passing the note to him, the silvery-pink glitter-laden ink making it clear who their orders came from. He passed it into one of Jetstones hats, copying down two copies of them and sending them to other hexes in the column. After some further written exchanges that were all handled by Lord White, he pointed to the south and they all left the hex to go there. --------------------------- And fall. Tanya ordered. Half of her knights, Victoria included, all went limp, falling backwards. The other half, herself included, caught the falling ones. Why was she making them do trust falls? Well, it comes down to date-a-mancy. Her senses of heartstrings were still rather rudimentary, and she wanted to bolster her knights stacks for next turns attack. But she couldnt quite manage to find enough personal connections to entangle to pull it off. She mostly wanted to see if it affected the heartstrings at all, even the tiniest bit. If it did, she could attempt something more elaborate. Good, good. Tanya said. Now, switch. After the second trust fall, she examined the heartstrings again. Yes, that did appear to help a little Not much, but non-zero. She had to spend some juice to increase her sensitivity to them, but she could maybe use this She arranged them into four stacks, the full force, with the three warlords included in their number. Counting Lady Victoria, they had thirty non-commander knights. Could she turn any of these into a ten or twelve stack? She had the juice for it.., if she wanted to leave herself empty. Or she could use the pen function of her wand to create a shockamancy scroll. Honestly, leaving one for Pierce would probably help Sansabelts defense, but she could only make one scroll per turn. After some thought, she arranged them into two sets of twelve stacks. The bonds werent good enough, but they were the best she could manage. You six will go with Lord White to scout for Ossomer next turn. She ordered the remainder. The rest of us will attack Flyopen with Lady Sylvia next turn. She turned to Lady Victoria specifically. Inform Lord White of your new accessories capabilities so that he may account for them. If he needs a long-distance scout, your veil makes you best suited for it. Yes Princess! Lady Victoria said, her heartstring pulsing with pride and anticipation of action. Turning back to the groups, she sighed. You all just talk to each other. Bond. Ill return shortly before evening and assess your progress. --------------------------- Noon the next day (Jetstones alliance took their turn after Haggar) met them flying towards Lady Sylvias camp in three eight-stacks led by a warlord each, as date-a-mancy could not be rushed. She did use her juice to pen a shockamancy scroll for Pierce to use in the defense, it was an inefficient use of her juice but it was better than it going to waste on a turn where she did not expect to be attacked off turn; it should allow him to take out most of those screening orlies right away. He didnt seem to like the idea of it, but Ossomer ordered him to do it, so Pierce accepted the scroll with a joke about how they were going to serve up fried orlies, which is just like chicken. Really. Although, she did need to spend ten minutes going over exactly how to pronounce the magic words, as she can only make shockamancy scrolls that are in Japanese, which do not automagically impart what they say to casters like normal scrolls. Good to know for the future. For some bizarre reason, he mangled Japanese with a thick Korean accent instead of an American one. She will never understand Signamancy. Then again, Janis seemed to think that trying to understand something was far inferior to trying to intuit something, so maybe that''s not such a bad thing. By the time they arrived to meet Lady Sylvia, her forces had all decamped and organized into marching stacks. "About time!" The promoted noble shouted impatiently. Lady Sylvia Lazarus was a generically pretty red-haired woman whose scowl accentuated her nobility even as it ruined her beauty. It made Tanya wonder whether her own mannerisms were adjusted to make her fit in better among royalty. Given how she''s seemed to have made a largely positive impression probably. "There was a small matter that needed to be addressed." Tanya said, dismissing Lady Sylvia''s complaint. "I will send out a scout to assess the situation and determine our best plan of attack." Without a word, one of her knights, the last noble one of this group that she didn''t promote, immediately started flying ahead of their path, a straight line towards Flyopen. "We have a plan." Lady Sylvia retorted, "Attack." From her wry grin, Tanya understood that she was deliberately oversimplifying. Tanya stared her down, conveying in a glance how unamused she was from Sylvia''s joke. "The key question is whether or not it will be more efficient to attack the tower zone and attempt to seize the garrison from behind or to aid your attack on the walls by engaging the infantry on top of the walls." Scout was an Eyemancy special. At its base state, it allowed the unit to project information with Thinkamancy. Advanced versions of the specials dipped into foolamancy (like Ranger) and lookamancy (like Recon), but the core competency was to transmit information to a commander, who could use that information to make better tactical decisions. This information could be passed on in many ways, but the consistent part was the range: they could only transmit information a number of hexes equal to their move stat. Sending information to scout warlords expanded this range by their own move stat, so she could communicate with her knights at a range of approximately one hundred hexes. Thinkamancers could cast a spell to make the range infinite. So Tanya''s knights slowly flew above Lady Sylvia''s weinerrammer strike force, occasionally goofing off by marching in mid-air, still keeping pace. As they did this, Tanya saw through the eyes of the knight named Soarin von Gratz. The most obvious thing his eyes revealed was the fact that Haggar knew about Lady Sylvia''s attack. Their walls were significantly reinforced and concentrated straight at the wall segment she was going to attack. You couldn''t move your units between defensive zones or non-garrison subzones off turn. There were exceptions: the biggest one was that if there was a battle going on you could move between subzones but not zones. What this meant was that normally, you had to spread your units among the six sub zones of the walls zone, each correlating to an adjacent hex, but you could steadily reinforce whichever subzone is getting attacked with the units in the other subzones. If the enemy brought enough siege, they could break through the wall before you could run out of reinforcements, but this was why the coalition wanted to attack all of the walls subzones at once, to prevent that and take advantage of their overwhelming numbers. Another key limit of city attacks was time. Time didn''t pause when a battle was happening, if you didn''t breach into the garrison zone before turn''s end, your attack was repelled, and the city gets a chance to heal up and counterattack. Wall attackers are kicked back to their previous hex, airspace attackers are sitting ducks, and tunnels attackers are between rocks and the hard zone borders. Unless the attackers were something like 80% siege, it was usually best to count on the significant numerical advantage walls gave you. So clearly they intended to wait out the weinerrammers. Gratz moved on to carefully observing the state of the garrison. Oddly, Flyopen seemed to have garrison fortifications that more suited a level 1 city. As a result, the weakness of the city''s vulnerable interior was quite apparent. While there was the chance that the tower and dungeon subzones were hiding an ambush force of some kind, the twenty-ish unled stacks of visible infantry and two stacks of also unled knights in the courtyard subzone was easily handled by her knights. Although if those knights were Rockers it was one of the things that made Haggar dangerous, Prince Sammy''s Rock Out special. While not all of Haggar''s knights were based on the Prince, most were. Putting the less useful knights in an out of the way garrison made some sense, but knights don''t need to be led in order to dancefight, they can just dance themselves, albeit with a small dancefight bonus. They were almost there. Tanya calculated the odds: Sylvia verses the wall? 30.451% to penetrate, up to 46.873 with Tanya''s extra in-hex bonus. Her forces verses the visible garrison? 96.743% without spell use but with her bonus. With her spells tuned to handle any surplus forces and whatever that tower has? Easy. "Sylvia." Tanya said commandingly. "Scouting report is in." "So are you going to be useful, Princess?" The redhead spat. She wasn''t cleared to know about her casting, so "They''ve emptied the garrison to fortify the walls. I will take the city from the air. Hold back." Lady Sylvia scowled and started to object, but Tanya cut her off. "Or don''t, those aren''t my forces you''d waste trying." Without further conversation (Lady Sylvia was exactly as odious as Trammenis said she was), Tanya ordered all of her units to stack up with her and accelerated. Conventionally, even led stacks tried to optimize the stack bonus. This was because that bonus applied to the Warlord, too, so it helped that warlord survive the battle. But when Tanya''s artifact bonus is taken into account, she''s substantially tougher than her subordinates, and she gets to lend her full stack-wide bonus of twelve, instead of Newsman or Kurig''s bonus of three. Trade four bonus of her own for five to her troops? An easy decision if she wants to maximize her odds of victory. But that wasn''t why she stacked up for the airspace attack. It was because stacking up was the best way to cast foolamancy. "Chaff!" Tanya shouted, creating a dazzling glitter-fog that advanced ahead of them before silently ordering the stack to juke left while vague blobs of their colors approached the right side of the fog. It worked perfectly. The tower unloaded its defense spells automagically, the rudimentary AI that operated it completely fooled by the basic illusion. An explosion of fire erupted, enough to likely croak a whole stack of her knights, destroyed the illusion. She wasn''t entirely sure what that spell was called normally, but it was ''passionate love eruption'' in her wand. After two combat rounds of waiting, Tanya mentally corrected herself: apparently this tower held only one overpowered spell before it was done, spent in one pump of juice. Once they crossed the airspace, free and clear as all of the archers were presumably redeployed to the walls, Tanya ordered them, with glances and a gesture or two, to restack and sweep the tower zone for defenders. As their high move did indeed translate to moving quickly within a hex, the singular stack of stabbers was swiftly croaked, although they did manage to blow on an alarm horn, not like it mattered. A subtle shift in the air indicated that the tower subzone was now under their control, and they could now invade the dungeon and courtyard subzones. Deciding to go for the unknown first, Tanya led the charge into the dungeon, only to realize that it was, once more, a single stack of infantry. Diggers, this time. With all of the risk factor proving to be a complete bluff, Tanya decided to make this quick by topping the Tower of Exposure''s (its name was on a plaque on the balcony) disappointing performance, right through the back door. "Passionate Love Eruption!" She shouted before both stacks of knights were utterly incinerated by her overloaded spell. Was that far too much juice to spend? Yes. Would it have been a better idea to let one of the other warlords gain experience? Yes. But she wanted her first city invasion to be a bit more climactic. This one was over so quickly a major disappointment. The infantry was mopped up easily, the leadership bonuses making the enemy infantry units utterly irrelevant. With the Garrison zone fully seized, every single unit on the walls were automagically captured as the city was taken. Their weapons all vanished, replaced by shackles. This included the single warlord that was in the city, although Tanya didn''t know his name. Sylvia didn''t have the move to enter through the gate, so Tanya evaluated the remaining move of her knights. It wasn''t great. She checked her own move. Better. But not really enough to do much of anything with. She still has plenty of juice, though. Neither of them can fortify this location long term, but could it be useful to hold it for a turn? It would give them a chance to reclaim it, but it would provide some fortification bonus to them in the event of a counterattack She supposed it depended on the prisoners. Her troops had finished frog marching the enemy units on the walls to the courtyard, positioning them in a parade formation, kneeling before her. Her knights surrounded them with weapons drawn, the promise of violence keeping them quiet. Tanya floated upwards to look down upon them and started to give her speech: "Haggar has failed you." She declared, "You were all left vulnerable to a modest attacking force simply because of your orders, and now here you are, at my mercy, without having the chance to swing your weapons even once in the defense of your city. Many of you may not have even had the chance to raise your arms before this invasion, living your entire lives just sitting around and waiting for the chance to croak an enemy, only to have had that chance denied." Tanya gauged her audience. Assuming these infantry were anything like the ones they popped in Jetstone, this rhetorical approach should be fruitful. By the looks of things there weren''t a lot of dry eyes. Perfect. She''s painted them the tunnel, now for the light at the end. "But I am Princess Tanya von Degurechaff, Heir to the Kingdom of Yojo Mojo. King Ansom and I agree that it is a tragic waste to return so many units back to The Box without giving them a chance at the City of Heroes." The local religion has a few variations, but units that serve with distinction are said to go to a Valhalla-like place known as the City of Heroes. Units that don''t instead get put into the cycle of reincarnation to try again, the wheel of reincarnation being referred to as ''The Box''. "You still represent a mighty force, one that can hold this city. Turn, and we will make a stand against the perfidy of Haggar, who has abandoned you." For a moment, it looked like her words would have the desired effect. Unfortunately, the single warlord was also in the crowd, and his shouted words ruined them. "This witch once served Stanley the Worm! She will disband us all the instant she can run! Betraying our King will lead only to Hellabad!" The infantry''s hopeful expressions formed into angry ones. The last of the three afterlife destinations, Hellabad, was destined for those there wasn''t really any clear criteria. It was for "bad" units. Note to self: next time, separate the commanders before trying this. "Execute them." Tanya ordered, and instantly, her knights started cutting their way through the enemy units, who died sobbing at the injustice of the world. She felt for them, she did. But the alternative of death was quite clear, given that they were surrounded by her knights. After gathering up the contents of the larder, Tanya clapped her hands. "Let''s zip this up." Tanya commanded with a wry grin. She finally got the joke of the city name. "Flyopen is now closed." The city''s walls collapsed as Yojo Mojo''s treasury ticked up. On cue, Lady Sylvia''s troops entered the hex, the woman scowling at the lack of action. "Won''t you join me for dinner?" Tanya asked as her knights started setting up camp. Lady Sylvia''s scowl deepened. Chapter 12 Rations were surprisingly fungible. Whenever food was distributed, natural Changemancy/Moneymancy ensured that each unit drew from the supplies exactly enough to cover their upkeep even if it looked like all of the units ate the same amount. A level 2 city cost about thirty thousand shmuckers to set up, and yielded 70% of that when razed. The larder had a large amount of sausages stored, which the weinerrammers appreciated a lot. The city had about ten thousand shmuckers of sausages total, with another two in beer and miscellaneous foodstuffs. Units could generally carry enough rations to cover half their upkeep for four turns without being impeded. 24 knights, all ranging from level two to four, two warlords at three and four, and Tanya herself totaled about four thousand, with Sylvia''s larger mounted force being about twice that. So they split the food to feed the group for both this and next turn, and the shmuckers evenly. Tanya used Moneymancy to get some extra shmuckers out of the enemy bodies, but they were mostly garrison units so she could only get four to six shmuckers out of each infantry. There were about five hundred of them, though, so that still boosted her income from the fund razer by nearly four thousand shmuckers with the warlord, knights, and field units taken into account. Naturally, Tanya declined to mention this additional income to Sylvia. Theoretically, she could have gotten more schmuckers out of them by cashing in their equipment instead, but that''s less juice efficient, a more difficult spell that she hasn''t managed to succeed at yet, and she wanted to save most of hers in case they get counterattacked in the morning. The campfire light seemed to suit Lady Sylvia, once she lit it she sat back, letting the rest of her troops handle the rest of camping. She watched the fire, entranced, giving a small smile as if she knew something others didn''t. "...you think they''ll attack?" She asked idly when Tanya settled in beside her. "I''d give it good odds." Tanya replied, idly cooking a sausage on a stick. "They were clearly banking on delaying you rather than stopping you, from their disposition. This implies that reinforcements were en route." "They''d expect us to be injured though. And we''re not." Sylvia observed. "If you''d prefer for me to Iet you handle the counterattack on your own, I''ll have my forces stick to the airspace." Tanya offered, inspecting the char on her sausage. It needs more cooking time. One of Sylvia''s retainers passed her a cooked sausage, and she bit into it gleefully. "This is good stuff. What is that flavor?" After examining her own snack and deeming it ready, Tanya bit into her own. Kind of a sour note, with a sweetness tomato? "Oregano, I think." She eventually decided. It tasted like pasta sauce. "Beef with tomatoes, mixed with spices." Lady Sylvia''s eyes sparked in recognition. "That''s how I remember this taste! Those meal troughs they make for the Mondays have this mixed with pasta. I captured some five turns ago, the pasta really changes the texture by a lot" That broke the ice. Lady Sylvia was rude, but she was also not shy. She liked bragging about her past exploits, and she eagerly listened to the story of Tanya''s plan, every layer, for the defense of Gobwin knob before Stanley croaked and Wanda abandoned the side. She did leave out sensitive details, though. "You know princess? You''re alright. You had your back against the wall, but you fought for it, you fought mean, and you could have won." She snickered, "Well, you could have if you weren''t against me." Accepting the empty braggadocio for what it was, Tanya yawned and got up, walking to her tent. "We''ll see if we need to fight in the morning. Good night, Lady Sylvia." "Night, Princess." --------------------------- Tanya had gotten used to fighting. To croaking people. It helped a lot that people in this world didn''t seem to bleed. The gore was sanitized to a point that it was hard to take it seriously. They barely registered pain from injury at all, in fact. But so far, in the nearly 50 turns that she had been in this world, she had always been the one attacking. Never defending. The waiting was the worst part. The uncertainty on whether or not they would need to fight for their lives at all. Tanya had decided to array her forces in one large stack, spreading her full leadership bonus to all twenty-seven units. Her plus ten equipment bonus from her artifacts still made her the hardest target in the hex even without the stack bonus, after all. Also, they wouldn''t get that bonus if Haggar sent dancefighters, anyway. "Men." She said, silently ordering them to stand at attention. "Until today, you have not known war." Anger strummed her Knight''s heartstrings, even as their faces remained disciplined. "Until today, war was something you did at your own pace. You flew in, attacked, and retreated to safety." The anger dimmed, but did not abate. "But today, there is no safety. Haggar, King Dickie, will surely attempt to croak us all in vengeance for pointing out how open his city was." Tanya paused, silently assenting for her troops to express themselves. They did not disappoint, shouting out their disapproval for Haggar, the blind patriotism good to see in this grim circumstance. They''ll need that morale. She will too. "But we will not fall!" Tanya shouted, continuing her speech. "They will strike only wind, and our spears will strike back with the strength of thunder!" Tanya knew that her troops'' fragility would be a problem, but with her full bonus, even the weakest knights, at level two, had twenty-five defense. It would be difficult for the enemy units to score hits. Or to dodge her stack''s attacks. "This is the battlefield, where the Titans have, through their design of the rules of the world, declared to be the only place where our lives can have meaning, in the creation of their favorite offering: Enemy bodies. Will we disappoint them? NO! Her knights replied. Then prepare for battle! Tanya shouted. On cue, the Haggar forces entered the adjacent hex. Ah, so that does work. Lady Sylvias strike force was potent: twelve stacks of knights mounted on weinerrammers, plus four warlords, although two were level one, here to gain experience. Weinerrammers were very cheap and fast siege units, but they were weak, so you needed to use them in large numbers if you wanted to actually break anything that wasnt a level 1 city. The Knights were the actual combat force, meant to shield their mounts rather than the other way around. As such, they were armed for that purpose, with actual shields in addition to their axes. Axemen had a small bonus against fortifications, so they were well chosen. To combat this, Haggar sent an army of infantry, sixty stacks of them, led by two stacks of mounted knights with warlords. A potent force but they were also reasonably disposable. Tanya suspected that they were supposed to reinforce the citys defenses, but could not make it in time. In addition, and this was something Tanya suspected was specifically because of her knights presence, they had sent fifteen stacks of orlies, which was not enough to trouble her. Delay her from assisting Sylvia, on the other hand maybe? Dice probabilities werent that difficult. She spent a few drops of juice to accelerate her napkin math, as its much less expensive if shes working with pure numbers. Orlies have a base two nine, then? Prince Sammy was level eight, so his chief warlord bonus was pretty high, just not as high as hers. Sixteen point lead is fifteen out of four hundred, assume three stacks croaked per exchange, led verses unled gives her the initiative, total incoming attacks would be two forty, so assume nine hits total. Her knights were fragile for knights, but infantry would still need at least three hits on the same target to croak on good damage rolls, so its an easy, quick win with no losses and no juice expense needed. The Leadership gap was insurmountable in this case, which made Tanya think that Haggar didnt know that a Chief Warlord was part of the sacking. It was her first military action in the theater, it wasnt that unreasonable of a supposition. Taking out so many orlies will be a boon, it was likely a large fraction of their available air forces. Wait who was that unit? Looking closer, Tanya noticed that there was a third warlord leading a stack of infantry on foot. He looked like an older man, wearing a white button up shirt and a black vest wielding a pair of light wooden maces. His role was clear once the infantry all restacked before entering their hex. Dancefight! Tanya shouted down at Lady Sylvia. Stack up! She ordered Gratz to send the Unaroyal warlady his view of Haggars reorganization. Lady Sylvia shouted imprecations about both Tanya and the warlord in question, but did what Tanya recommended, ordering the non-led knights to stack up with her. Presumably, the other, led stacks would engage the other mounted knights. They will have to suffer the dancefighting malus, but Tanyas in-hex bonus will make up for that. Haggars troops started to enter the hex. The infantry marched in a peculiar way, taking two stomping steps and then clapping their hands around their spears. It created a musical beat, so it was clearly just part of the dancefight. This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it. The Orlies started to flood the skies, and Tanya silently charged the owl-like bird units, each of her stack striking down one of the birds in a single stroke of their weapons. The birds could speak in a limited, broken way, squawking imprecations at them as they croaked uselessly. WTF HAX GG NO RE WORTH U MAD TRYHARD O RLY? EZ Either they had a bonus Tanya didnt know about or just good luck, but they scored six more hits than expected, but none of her knights got more than one injury, so it was acceptable. The cadence of the enemy marching continued as they fought in the skies. Stomp stomp clap. Stomp stomp clap. Wait she knew that beat. Lady, youre a stabber, make a big noise, fighting in the ruins gonna be a chief someday, The Haggar warlord sang as his troupe engaged Lady Sylvias stacks. You got mud on your face, big disgrace, kicking your dogs all over the place. His troupe all sang the chorus, creating a cacophony of noise. WE WILL, WE WILL, CROAK YOU! they shouted, WE WILL, WE WILL, CROAK YOU! Despite their proclamations, Lady Sylvias stack did have a significant leadership edge over the enemy warlord between her higher level and Tanyas in-hex bonus, and her knights greater base stats allowed them some additional leeway to weather the enemy blows. The warlady herself was in the thick of it, laughing off their attempts to croak her while she lashed out, each swing taking out another enemy. Her stack was much less fortunate, having taken a few casualties in the time it took for Tanyas stack to finish the distraction. Yeah, she should intervene. Which battle, though? She could either take out the mounted knights or the dancefight Would Sylvia be angrier at Tanya intervening in her own fight or at killstealing her other warlords? After a heartbeat, Tanya made her decision. Counting out a beat, she spent a chunk of juice to create the sounds of music sent to oppose the enemy dancefighters. Dive, Charge, Dive, Go! She sang, her voice slipping into the Imperial tongue for reasons she wasnt quite sure. Following the magically-granted inspiration, she continued. Attention, Flank them, Strike out, Back! Her stack spread out to surround the hundreds-strong army, each one dancing in and out of reach as they lashed out to strike the dancing infantry straight in the hearts. To the battle, to the frontline, straight to the edge of naught! Throw your lives away, show me the power that lives inside you! She sang in Engl- Language. Im sure that you can hear, endless blades clashing, the sounds of enemies, trying to defy us! Sylvias warcry redoubled her troops fervor, as Tanyas small but extant dancefighting bonus made her troops even better at battle. Show them to their end Tanya continued to sing, Show them to their end Before switching back to Imperial for the chorus. After the fights conclusion, Tanya checked over her troops. The Haggar warlords were higher level than the ones Unaroyal had brought, but the two-to-one odds did allow them to win with just Tanyas in-hex bonus bolstering them further. The gap wasnt as large when facing these units, so her knights took a fair few hits, but she played things conservatively, using the dancefights rhythm to re-organize the formation so that the attacks were directed at those who had yet to take a second hit. While there wasnt a single knight that was uninjured, she had managed to avoid any of them croaking. All told, the downed dogs and Mondays were harvested for meat rations, many of the bodies were claimed for consumption by the living dogs, and at the end of things, Unaroyals twelve stacks and five warlords became eight and four, one of the level 1 warlords croaking. The other one leveled to two, though. Oh, and Tanya planned to turn the rest of the bodies into more shmuckers when Sylvia left. Damn dancefighters. Lady Sylvia spat after the post-battle management was complete. You dancefight? She asked. Ive been learning. Tanya corrected. Surprisingly, dancefighting was actually able to be learned, although there were caveats. If Sylvia knew much about the subject, shed notice that Tanya was lying. The key is to maintain your sense of timing. You need to keep the beat. This can be difficult in the middle of a fight. This was a lot easier if you just used Rhyme-o-mancy, but she didnt need to know that. Suddenly, the sweat and dirt that had accumulated over the fight vanished, the swirling nimbus of Titanic magics washing away Tanyas ability to focus on anything else. Our turn! Lady Sylvia declared. Scout! Tanya commanded, and her knights scattered, giving Tanya a clear mental image of the surrounding area. A few drops of juice were used to help her maintain that image, creating a tiny foolamancy version of it in front of her eyes. She flew upwards to block this detail from being noticed by Lady Sylvia. Unlike before, the scouts were instructed to not return immediately, as Yojo Mojo had an advantage that they had not yet used. At the order, Maggies voice rang out in Tanyas ears, sounding exactly as she would over the phone for some odd reason. Yes, Princess? Ill need some field coordination this turn, so dont link up with Sizemore. Give him the day off in the Magic Kingdom, let him earn Rands and improve our relations with the barbarian casters. Tanya replied, Stand by with a hat. Maggies line cut off, but Tanya didnt bother second-guessing the serious casters compliance with the orders. Lord von Newsman passed her a large piece of parchment, and she quickly sketched out the scouting report. Once her foolamancy map was no longer necessary, she floated back down and showed Lady Sylvia her options. Theres a level one city we could theoretically sack, but Im not sure if its worth the time. The city was named Pansushot, which did not sound like a place she wanted to be. Its thirty hexes away, so two turns for you. She then pointed to one of the edges of the map. Or we could rejoin the Jetstone column. You have taken significant casualties, after all. Bah! Lady Sylvia shouted. The point is to wreck Haggar until King Dickie knows hes beaten. Just croak those field units hes got, and Ill start marching to that city. She ordered her knights to mount up and then started riding off. After she was gone, Tanya waited a beat and then looked at the fallen bodies. Many of them were gnawed on by the weinerrammers, but they still held value to the right buyer. Time to salvage these human resources. Tanya said, smiling a little at her little joke. A bit more literal than it used to be, eh? The infantry were field units, so she got another turns worth of upkeep out of them, about four thousand. Normally, this kind of additional income would require risking ones moneymancer on the front lines. Not something most people are inclined to do. Well, also Jetstone was paying Yojo Mojos treasury equal to her and her knights upkeep every turn, so all of this upkeep mitigation and loot was pure profit. Writing down more orders, she sent them to Maggie so they could be relayed to the field units. Haggar had quite a few weak stacks of units or isolated scouts scattered about, plus one moderate strength hex and they can all hide in that heavy forest hex during the enemy turn. Not that Haggar couldnt find them, that was inevitable with the enemy Findamancer, but flying units cant be attacked by normal units when in a heavy forest hex, they can just stay in the trees. After the fourth set of instructions, Tanya felt Maggie opening up a thinkagram. Princess, your efforts to conserve my juice are appreciated, but I am having trouble understanding your shorthand. Please explain your plan. With the full bandwidth of the telepathy magic, Tanya ordered Maggie to relay her orders more precisely, and started to fly on the route she had planned for herself. A few hundred shmuckers here, a few there she gathered her units above the moderate strength hex, twenty stacks of infantry compiled into a troupe led by yet another dancefighting warlord. Lucky Clover Heart Attack. Tanya shouted in Japanese, croaking the enemy leadership as well as his screens in one attack. The rest of the infantry panicked uselessly. She turned to her two warlords. Okay, you have all fought together, danced together, even boop-" Boop it. "-crapped together here on the battlefield. Your bonds as soldiers should be stronger than ever. She fed her mind juice again, focusing on the heartstrings of her knights. They were in much better shape than before the battles. But was it enough? Janis had elaborated, when Tanya sent her a letter through Sizemore, on what she meant by the spell lasting until the units in question unstack. It was more accurate to say that it lasted until the units stacked outside of the group, as they could unstack at night easily, and in the case of scouting units, could unstack to cover more ground without breaking the spell, as long as they reunited before engaging anything and didnt end turn apart from each other. Espirit de corps! Tanya shouted as she bound her knights together into two twelve-stacks. It was expensive, but hopefully itll last for the war, at the very least. With her blessing, Newsman and Kurig both descended, leading their new stacks, and battled the unled, improperly stacked mob of infantry with ease. Newsman even leveled up to four, both of them now having that distinction. That was considered to be the last easy level for warlords to reach, however, so it was going to be a lot harder to level them up from here. With that final bit of slaughter finished, Tanya used moneymancy to add another two thousand shmuckers to Yojo Mojos treasury and led her units to the heavy forest hex. After spending over half of her juice on that date-a-mancy, she didnt dare try for more. She had just enough juice left for one good shockamancy spell in case they attack. Well, that and her small supply of scrolls. One healomancy scroll from Chief Pierce in return for the juice, one fire-extinguishing dirtamancy scroll, a few thinkamancy scrolls (including, amusingly, a cure headache spell), and the last good foolamancy scroll, although with Findamancy guiding the enemy that one wasnt going to be too useful here. Still, there was plenty of turn to spare, so she spent the rest of it writing letters to people in an attempt to stay up to date, sending them via her tiaras message hat function. How did that city defense go, anyway? As it turned out, it went poorly, but they did end up winning, capturing Prince Sammy. Surrender terms were expected next turn. Excellent news. She sent a missive to Lady Sylvia informing her of this fact. Now, whether she interpreted it as double-check whether she should still be raising hellabad before attacking or hurry up and take it before King Dickie surrenders was completely up to her. Tanya suspected she knew which one the battle maniac would pick. --------------------------- While they were able to camp on the ground, once morning came they had to immediately go up into the trees, else they forfeited the terrain bonus. Fortunately, there wasnt an immediate attack the instant Haggars turn started at dawn. She was not looking forward to when there were more than two sides/alliances in a given battlespace, which promised to be painful. She had her knights keeping an eye on the adjacent hexes, while she well they were the ones who suggested it She was using one of her knights as a chair, another one as a writing desk, and Lord von Kurig was handling the actual transport of the notes with his message hat. She still hadnt quite gotten the hang of relaxing in mid-air yet, her past lives of being unable to fly making the action less natural and thus more stressful to her than it is her knights. Thus, the solution. About an hour into the enemy turn, a scout from Haggar attempted to enter the hex with a burning torch. This was easily handled, but it made the weight of the scroll that Sizemore made sure she had all the heavier. Fortunately, fires couldn''t go into other hexes on their own, although there were caveats there. Nevertheless, they can''t just burn the surrounding hexes and let it spread, which was good enough. When she reported this to Ossomer, he had said it was "a rather underhanded strategy, but he expected no less from perfidious Haggar." From experience, Tanya knew that ''underhanded'' and ''cheap'' tactics were ones that didn''t benefit the one who used them, only hurt the enemy. Giving up on the levels from a successful battle was seen as foolish in the long term, and given that wars between royal sides were more for posturing and profit, this made sense as a cultural development. Personally, Tanya thought that attitude was problematic, but as she was just helping in Jetstone''s war, she won''t raise a fuss over things. Even in a heavy forest hex, vigilance can prevent such tactics. Eventually, Ossomer sent a message about Haggar agreeing to the surrender terms that Ossomer demanded for the return of Prince Sammy and the cessation of hostilities. Tanya snorted as she imagined how incensed Lady Sylvia would be over the news. King Dickie was no fool; both of his attacks failed, and they were primed to wreak havoc on his ability to do anything but turtle up. Without their Chief warlord, that was a losing proposition. That didn''t mean Tanya didn''t call Ossomer on a thinkagram to confirm the news once their turn started before leaving the hex, but that was just good sense. Chapter 13 Just because the world was a wargame didn''t mean that war occupied all of everyone''s thoughts. There was plenty of room for merriment, such as the victory party. King Slately ordered some "fine vintage" casks of wine to be brought out, although it was only about six years old. It has never been recorded that a unit could croak of old age. Units that looked old and feeble were instead ill suited or neglected, or just had Signamancy that made them look that way to convey wisdom or something along those lines. As the counterpoint to this theoretical immortality, living for one thousand turns, about three years, was considered an accomplishment. Living for ten thousand turns was vanishingly rare. According to Janis, the oldest living Men unit was almost certainly younger than one hundred thousand turns. She did not elaborate on the existence of ancient beast units when pressed. Tanya didn''t exactly mind the idea that immortality was off the table, but living over thirty years being impressive? It was disturbing. Fortunately, Chief Healomancer Pierce was a doctor, and he had just the prescription for an existential crisis: more wine. "-and what did my foray into Signamancy get me? A city that makes more gin rations than I know what to do with. Keeping discipline is a nightmare, I''m just glad I can fob that off to Lady-" Tanya hiccupped. "-Lady October." "Tragic." Pierce replied, keenly interested in the story. "Now, how much gin are we talking about, here? Is it good?" "I''ll get some casks sent over for Healomancy scrolls." Tanya immediately offered. "Deal." Pierce replied, "You can never have too much healomancy. Or too much gin." Pleasure doing business with you. Tanya said, taking another sip of her wine. She wasnt entirely sure how alcohol translated, but she suspects she may have overestimated her tolerance. How much does she weigh? She had no idea. Part of the magic testing included other statistical data, so she knew she was nineteen kilograms beforehand, notably short and underweight for her age. She was healthier now, and combined with being older she was at least double that by now if the flight special didnt lower her weight. She weighed one hundred and thirty kilograms as a man How much did she have to drink, anyway? Victoria kept refilling her glass. Tanya took another sip as she contemplated this mystery. Her musings were interrupted by Lady Sylvia grabbing her by the arm and dragging her into a group of warlords. Specifically, representatives from other members of the Royal Crown Coalition. That isnt to say that it was a group of people wearing armor and weapons. Lady Sylvia wore a relatively light dress that only went down to a little below her knees, her shoulders and arms bare while the rest of the outfit made up for the lack with enough decorative ribbons to make her not be too out of place in this party of nobles. Tanya wore a red dress that was fairly cute on her, but something bothered her about how she looked while wearing it. She couldnt put her finger on why, so she stayed quiet and wore it anyway. "Nice ta see you again, yet highness." Greeted Vinny Doombats of Transylvito. He wore a tuxedo, hair coiffed into a small pompadour while his bowtie was already undone. Tanya was getting delinquent vibes from the man, so refrained from smiling at him, instead inclining her head in acknowledgement of the greeting. "You as well, Count Doombats." Tanya replied, managing to avoid slurring her words. She has definitely had too much wine. She took another sip. "How''s Ansom doing?" Vinny asked. "We keep in touch, but yannow how letters are." "He''s bored, but he''s keeping things together." Tanya replied. Wait, she probably shouldn''t have been so honest. "Building up a side for months is not exactly exciting." Drat, she accidentally used the wrong word. She knew they understood it automagically, but it was still odd. "You know it, yer highness." Vinny said with a rakish grin. "I heard you only got a little bit of action against Haggar, any truth to that?" "Both turns I participated in the war were quite action packed, I assure you." Tanya said, both confirming and refuting the rumor. "You''d need to ask Lord White or Prince Ossomer for any broader comments on the conflict." Sylvia barked out a laugh. "They got scared of her. King Dickie must have been wetting himself after we punched him in the berries." Her smile twisted into a scowl. "I didn''t get to hit Pansushot though. I was one turn from getting up in that business. I could see it, but then King Dickie had to pull out." She spat to the side, into what Tanya now noticed was a spittoon. "So unsatisfying." "I saw what she did to our column, I can believe that." Vinny joked as he sipped at his own wine. Duke Nozzle of Sofa King was glaring at Tanya, but he switched his vitriol to Vinny at the joke. You think youre funny? He said accusingly. Vinny grinned at the accusation, showing off his vampiric canine. Mebbe I do, Duke Nozzle. He said, slurring the uk in Duke to sound more like an ush sound. What''re ya gonna do about it? This could not possibly end well. Tanya took another sip of wine and giggled at the absurdity of the exchange. --------------------------- [Prince Trammenis, Level 4 Warlord of Jetstone] Another wars end, another victory party. It was wonderful to be part of such a noble and powerful side, but Tramennis rarely felt appreciated for what he did for the crown. But alas, he loved Jetstone, so it couldnt be helped. This party was his battlefield, as thoroughly as the body-strewn kind belonged to his brothers. Wine and smiles were his weapons, and mutual interest was his armor. But in either place, the most dangerous unit in the room was Princess Tanya. When Father explained her capabilities, Trammenis was shocked. A warlord that was also a caster? Two artifacts? It was almost beyond belief. But it was all true, near as he could tell. If you touched her, such as with a handshake, when she was wearing that cute dress that screamed danger, you could feel the barrier, if you paid attention. He saw her not only fill towers to capacity in far less time than he would have guessed was required, but pack them with more spells than he thought they could hold. They were all highly dangerous examples of anti-air magic, too. Even now, he could sense the doubled in-hex chief warlord bonus on his stat board, overwriting Ossomers more modest bonus. It gave her a presence that was difficult to ignore. Ossomer, when the man was feeling poetic (which was more often than most might think), he described himself as, among other things; quietly, implicitly violent. Tanya had a similar presence, but louder. When Ansom had relayed what Vinny had told him about how she looked while fighting their column, he had said that she fought like a madwoman, laughing in glee as she fought and even more when she won, dancing among her prisoners in joy as she executed the poor units who had gotten gummed up by pink dwagon breath, he was skeptical. But the instant he saw her smile for real, he believed it. Sure, when she was attempting to be diplomatic, she was perfectly pleasant. Hed even go so far to say that she was more diplomatic than half of the Kings hes had the pleasure to speak with, she had a polite humility to her that most royalty lacked. But when the metaphorical knives came out, when rudeness was deployed against her her eyes sharpened into blue knives that cut most of those courtiers more keenly than if she deployed an actual knife. Once such rudeness was apologized for, she smiled for real, pleased at being the one appeased rather than doing the appeasing. That smile was wide, and entirely appropriate for the woman that was described to him secondhand. Trammenis had been concerned about Tanya, faintly fearing that Ansom had fallen in love again with a woman that didnt care for him, or worse, the other way around. After spending those turns watching her tour Jetstones towers, he was certain that that, at least, was not the case. -er, I hardly know her! Duke Nozzle finished telling his absolutely terrible story about Countess Boring, and the collected foreign warlords either laughed politely or pretended they had not heard the punchline. Tanyas eyes were unfocused as she almost spilled her wine on herself, but managed to take a sip. Is everyone enjoying the party? He asked to break the small awkward silence caused by Duke Nozzles Boring story. This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. Tremendous-dono. Tanya said, slurring his name oddly. What? How much wine has she drank? Subete juncho. did she think she was saying words? Shes speaking them confidently like she was, but they were nonsense. Vinny sidled up to him. Shes been talking nonsense for the last three minutes. Tanya? Trammenis asked, to get her attention. Hai, Tanya desu. She said drunkenly. Tanya-chan yonde kudasai. Tramennis shuddered as a chill went up his spine upon hearing those words. Was this some caster nonsense? She was clearly drunk, so it probably wasnt malicious, but Wait. From what he knows about her did she curse herself to turn her words into code so she wouldnt spill secrets while drunk? Perhaps you should retire for the night. Allow me to lead you to your chambers. Ton demo daijbudesu. She said, waving him off. She started to fly woozily towards the balcony, followed by her knight who was visibly worried at her princess state. Ah, Princess Tanya had arranged with Ossomer to bunk in Dhrystone for the night. the knight said, embarrassed. It was a good stop on the way to Gobwin Knob, fifty-nine hexes from Spacerock. I made sure to memorize the route, so I can get her there. She promised him. Ah, that will not do. Father wanted to meet with her before she left. Trammenis pointed out. Shell have to stay here. You go on ahead, shell take the shortcut home, I think. Specifically, the portal. Given an excuse, she stopped Tanya and shoved the smaller girls face into her chest. I shouldnt leave her side. The knight said, unsure. Thats simple enough. Tramennis replied, before glancing at Lord Lloyd Bernhard, Jetstones Dittomancer. Their eyes met, and a royal order brought the man towards them. Yes, yes, what is it? Lloyd asked, buzzed enough to be rather grumpy at getting work to do. Do you have the juice to dupe a knight? Trammennis asked, gesturing to the lovely woman in the snappy outfit that Ace had made for her. Yeah, yeah. He said, adjusting his spectacles. Princess Sandwich. He said as the magic words, and suddenly a second knight was behind Tanya, also hugging her close. Well well, now theres a nice pair. he said, pleased at his work. Its always good to be a princess, but tonight the sights are twice as nice. The knight in front of Tanya let go, clearly worried, but her duplicate reassured her and she left, before that duplicate started to follow Trammenis upstairs. As he had expected, Tanya had fallen asleep immediately after her head touched a pillow, even if they were encountered while she was still vertical. Hopefully things go over well. --------------------------- [King Slately, level 2 Ruler of Jetstone] Slately was no fool. Ansom, his son, detested the means in which he received his own Kingdom. But the Queen, now Princess, that sat in front of him in a meeting could not have been allowed to rule. Not without dissolving the coalition of royal sides that he had spent so many turns assembling. He had his top caster, Lloyd (even if the irreverent now-Chief Caster Pierce had exceeded him in levels in the last war), check and double check the numbers. No one knew exactly when Stanley the Worm had betrayed his liege, but if it was the latest possible estimate, adding the maximum heir pop time of one hundred and twenty turns, it just barely worked out for Princess Tanya popping when she said she did. Right on time to accomplish a nigh impossible defense that only fell apart because she lost both her chief warlord and chief caster in quick succession. Sofa King would not allow her to rule in peace, and King Froblo was always closer to the Sofa King than Jetstone, which was entirely because you always liked the side flanking your neighbor with you, so Ansom represented a compromise, every Royal''s least favorite resolution. Ansom embarrassed himself and Jetstone in the fight against Gobwin Knob, losing both Arkentools like he did. Slately seriously considered putting forth Ossomer to rule this Yojo Mojo, in Ansom''s place, but Ossomer was even less inclined to rule, a strong militant will that would be profoundly unsuited to the tenturns of buildup that would be necessary to turn the territory into a stalwart ally. "Your side should be nearly up to full strength soon." Slately said, breaking the flow of idle pleasantries. Princess Tanya''s eyes focused more sharply, having been pulled from whatever thoughts she had been musing over during the smalltalk. "Our garrisons should be full within another twenty to forty turns, yes." Ansom had mentioned that she had taken the large field army that had been turned over to Yojo Mojo and had demoted them to garrison, apparently a basic moneymancy spell. Useful, and her usage of it on their new cities in consideration for more of that jarhead''s juice did help Jetstone''s poor battered treasury after giving up on spoils for Gobwin Knob, even if Ossomer disliked how it prevented him from assembling a field army if he needed to. "What are your intentions once you have a field army ready?" He asked idly. "Any war plans?" "All defensive, I assure you." Princess Tanya said immediately, appeasingly. "Our war planning is something I like to call the interior lines doctrine. Each city is well fortified with a well supplied and drilled garrison, and a well armed tower, and good scouting. A mobile force, preferably led by myself, will reinforce against any attempt to invade before it can do much damage." Slately mentally scoffed. In other words, she intended on a raiding strategy to make the most of her knights and dwagons. "So your plan is peace?" He said skeptically. "Given Yojo Mojo''s diplomatic posture, we have no current enemies." Princess Tanya said decisively. "We are in an alliance with most of our neighbors, which is not something most of those neighbors can say. Therefore, the only sensible policy is to act as an ersatz mercenary, lending inexpensive aid to those allies in any conflict they find themselves in." It was an odd choice of words, calling it the only sensible policy. Few would agree, in Slately''s experience. "Such as aiding Jetstone against Haggar." He stated the obvious, just to continue the conversation. "It is as you say." Princess Tanya said deferentially. Nine cities, which we have, is the absolute maximum number of cities one can have before the diminishing shmuckers point becomes a concern, assuming those cities are managed. She was correct. Diminishing shmuckers started at thirty total city levels, but managed cities can remove all penalties before forty city levels, and the capitals levels didnt count towards the total. As a King, he knew that much by heart. But no one had only level five cities, so the convention was to instead call fifteen cities the start of the diminishing shmucker point. We should not require any additional territory for our interior lines strategy, and a more compact border would only serve to increase our ability to respond to threats. Thats certainly one way to think of it. Achieving level five cities is not easy, Princess. Slately said, deciding to state the obvious. She was still inexperienced, she may have an odd idea of how difficult such a thing was. Tanya swallowed the cake she was eating. As long as the Royal Crown Coalition is intact, there are no convenient enemies. If the Sofa King or King Froblo intend on following through with their previous threats, we can only wait for them to leave the coalition of their own will. She grinned sharply. In fact, King Ansom and I are in agreement that the first member to leave would be an excellent whetstone to sharpen our swords against. Her grin became ever larger. King Ansoms made sure to tell them that. Oh. Slately burst out laughing. The gall of his son! Slatelys been trying to form this coalition for over two hundred turns, and now that hes succeeded, Ansoms assigned himself as the knife behind everyone in the event that anyone has second thoughts! No. Such a move was not something Ansom would do. It must be a maneuver that Princess Tanya devised, assuming a threatening posture to intimidate and provoke after being told by Ansom to remain peaceful until they were ready. By staking his honor on maintaining the coalition, Ansom would have just cause to invade anyone who broke it, purely because the alliance was broken. So Princess Tanya would have her opportunity to use those dwagons as she did against the coalition, with the additional augmentation to that of her flying knights, a powerful raiding force she can use the instant shes allowed to which can be equally applied towards lending aid to distant warfronts, exactly as she said she would be using her forces. It was a bold strategy that relied entirely on the Royal Crown Coalition to stay together for long enough for them to be able to back up their threats. One that required the King to have faith in the royal ideals the coalition stood for. With Ansom on the throne? Simplicity itself. Slately calmed down. I believe your side is in good hands, Princess. He said honestly. Thank you, King Slately. She said politely. Are there any other concerns you wished to convey? Or should I show Lord Hardware to Gobwin Knobs portal? The turn is half over. Is it that late already? No, I wont keep you from your important work, Princess. I will order our Dollamancer here to escort you to the portal. Thank you. --------------------------- [Princess Tanya von Degurechaff, Level 6 Chief Warlord of Yojo Mojo] The terms of the surrender were onerous, in Tanya''s opinion. Haggar was quite wealthy, as while their land armies didn''t compare favorably to Jetstone, they were quite fearsome on the seas. Unaroyal and Yojo Mojo got to split a third of the large, three hundred thousand shmucker monetary remuneration in return for their vital role in pressuring King Dickie on his flank, which was divided sixty/forty in Unaroyal''s favor in consideration of their losses. Another sixth went to Yojo Mojo for their essential scouting contributions, and the assistance of Tanya herself, as contributing a chief warlord was a significant investment. Jetstone took the other half for themselves and got to keep the cities, although some of it went to fulfill other obligations from the other royal sides. It was mostly their war, so it was actually pretty fair. There was also a bunch of assurances and some caster labor demands, but that also went to Jetstone. Yojo Mojo got to keep a cool ninety thousand shmucker payday and go home, which was good enough for her. Ansom wouldn''t like it if she gouged Jetstone for more, anyway. "Nice place." Ace Hardware said as she showed him his new quarters. It was polite to provide them for allied commanders, and that goes double for units doing long term service for your side, like Ace was. Ace''s new bunk was in a large workshop, one of the many facsimiles of buildings that were provided by the city. In most cases, these buildings were basically props for the city, they didn''t do anything in a conventional sense but they represented city functions. But I''m this case, Ace''s workshop was built by Sizemore as an armory during the level 4 city upgrade, which, among other things, allowed dollamancers the same casting bonus that would ordinarily require the tower, and allow the results to be automagically distributed if necessary. Given that twolls fabrication special was dollamancy, this was useful for more than just Ace. This was also why the place was so large, everything was twoll sized. But Ace was nearly there himself, so beyond needing to bring his tools from home, he was fine after he made himself some small adjustable stilts to add an extra foot of height when needed. "The twolls are at your disposal, if you can find additional efficiencies with their use." Tanya said. "Yeah, a stack of them''ll get me a bonus on making the simple stuff." Ace said, grinning. "Twollish stuff is nice, but there''s no real customization. Fittings at best." He jerked his thumbs in his direction. "But who has two thumbs and can out-do twolls in his sleep? This guy!" Wait that actually reminded her. "I have a question about my raiment that perhaps you can solve." Tanya asked, before switching to Japanese: "Ordinary Girl!" "Ee-pan jo-say?" Ace said, confused as Tanya''s raiment reverted in a colorful lightshow to the twollish armor and simple white dress. Oddly, her wand and earrings vanished as well, but she could feel them at hand nevertheless. "Oh, that''s cool. How''s it do that?" Tanya grimaced. "I was hoping you could answer that." She said, disappointed. "More relevantly, I was wondering if you could tell whether my armor being upgraded would affect the transformation." Ace frowned. "It might be Changemancy? But no the materials of the dress with the shorter skirt are the same as the longer dress. It has to be dollamancy." He looked upwards, deep in thought. "It''s a real magical wait. That''s it!" He smiled again, excited as he started examining Tanya''s dress with his hands, shifting the armor around to test the fit, picking at the stitching and paying special attention to wait. He was looking at the parts that changed shape when she leveled up. He wasn''t being a pervert. Probably. "You need new raiment." He concluded. Bogroll, who had been standing around setting up the workstations for the other twolls, dropped at the news. "This dress doesn''t fit you." Ace elaborated. "It''s made for someone a head shorter than you, and while the twoll that adjusted the fit did a good job you''re a princess, you need better clothes." Bogroll perked back up at the compliment. Id expect a dress like this from a poor barbarian caster that was trying to get pity. He was right, but Tanya was surprised he could tell. She underestimated the fidelity of a natural popped caster''s senses. Then again, how much of that analysis did he need to come to that conclusion? Whats your opinion on the magic? Tanya asked. Oh right, that. I got distracted. Ace said, abashed. Ive seen enough, transform again and Ill compare the two. Royal Tiara Magic: Make up! Tanya shouted in Japanese, and Ace frowned at the foreign words, mouthing them out to himself as Tanya transformed her clothing before his eyes. To his credit, he seemed focused on his magical senses rather than his mundane ones. ...if I could figure this out, Id be Master class. Ace concluded after a moment of thinking about what he just saw. He went on to inspect Tanyas magical girl dress, focusing on the parts that were still white as well as the stiff armored sections. Yeah, its the same stuff. Its pure dollamancy. After another few beats of thought, he grinned widely. Imagine it! Your knights are loaded up with stuff that helps them scout, but when theres a fight coming up, transform into battle mode! Pure combat! Its revolutionary! Tanya imagined her knights dressed like Sentai heroes. Yes that sounded cool Could she make the dwagons look like mecha? Oh! Maybe Sizemores siege golem can be made to look like mecha. Shell need to check in on his progress for that. You have my full support for this endeavor. Tanya said. Yosh! He said, pumping his arms. But first, we gotta get you better threads. Very well. Chapter 15 [??????] Pop. It was strange, the sensation of suddenly being, when before they were naught. All of her knowledge, her own levers and fulcrums, were laid bare to her, and as her wheels started turning she started to know what she knew. Her name is Elya von Culper. She is a Noble, as she popped from the city of Gin-G, a level 3 city in the royal side of Yojo Mojo. Most of all? She was a turnamancer. Level 1 Novice, naturally. She looked around, and saw a vertical table that someone could be strapped into, with a small table near it. She knew that in the drawers just two steps away, there were several torture implements, both to cause pain and to cause pleasure. An electric thrill ran up and down Elyas spine when she thought about it. That sounded fun Still. She felt an order from her ruler. He was King Ansom? Yes. King Ansom. She was to report to the tower top, increase the production of Gin-G, then mount a dwagon that would take her to the capital. Well, at least her ruler was on top of things. Even as a novice, she knew that there were two spells to accelerate a citys production. The first was the simple one, the one that did a flat plus fifty percent to the production of a city. One and done. She could do it to two cities in a turn, unless she screwed up the casting. As a freshly popped caster, that was a serious concern. The second way was more advanced, she couldnt cast it yet. It could accelerate popping much more, but it took up the vast majority of her concentration in a turn; she had to stay in the same city for the entire off-turn cycle if she wanted to use it. So she obeyed her orders, carefully applying the magic of Motion to the hidden wheels that turn like gears within cities, moved by the great churning wheel below Erf. Just a little bit more speed. Gin G was popping another commander, it looks like. Normally, it takes four turns to pop one. Now? Still four, actually. Shed need to cast twice, over two turns, to shave a turn off of it. King Ansom probably didnt know that. Shell tell him once she reports back. Or maybe the Chief Caster, Lord Rockwell? The dwagon that awaited her was purple, and it did not look at all happy to be her mount. As the heavy lifted off, she idly applied her discipline to the dwagon. Thats interesting. Assessing the feelings of a feral, which this particular dwagon was, is more date-a-mancy rather than turnamancy, but there was some overlap. This dwagons greatest tension was that it was no longer on the same side as the Arkenhammer. It was turned by it, but was then abandoned. That tangle of emotion made this dwagons simple motives clouded, and murky. It would be easy to turn this dwagon, if an enemy turnamancer tried. If it saw the Arkenhammer, it would in an instant. But as a beast unit, it failed to understand what it could do about the situation beyond continuing to follow orders, so it was a low threat. She considered using magic to soothe the loyalties of the dwagon, but she considered it likely that King Ansom would want her to boost the capitals production too, and she might not have enough juice to manage it already, spending even a single drop of it would make it so much worse. The path to the capital, which was called Gobwin Knob, was mostly mountains after the first fifteen hexes, which were light forests and a lake. It was good that the King''s orders to the dwagon included a route, because she had no idea where they were going. The dwagon''s move ran out in a high mountain hex that had a whole stack of dwagons, guarding what appeared to be a mine. She landed, and a warlord came out of the mine and waved at her. "Hi ho, neighborino!" The warlord was short, wearing glasses with a bushy brown moustache. When Elya shook his offered left hand, she could see that this man was kind above all else, his gears gliding smoothly when he felt that his side was headed by kind, virtuous commanders. At his core was a wheel of deep anger, currently still and unmoving. "I''m Lady Elya von Culper. It is a pleasure to meet you." "Well, it''s nice to see the Titans have blessed us with a polite new caster!" The warlord said. "I''m Mad Flanders, foreman of this mine." He gestured to the dwagons. "The Princess saw fit to promote me and to garrison a stack of dwagons here to keep the mine safe, and to act as a she called it a relay?" He took a moment to think. "Yeah. This mine is within one turn''s dwagon flight to the capital and all of the western cities, so they can ferry commanders from any one city to another in a single turn." The short man''s pride in his side and the Princess in particular would have been visible even without her turnamancy senses, and it made Elya curious. What kind of person was the Princess? What drives her? She wanted to know. "Rod! Todd!" Flanders shouted. Two diggers, already sweaty from their previous work, came out of the mine. They were bare faced, with curly hair that stood up rather than hang down. "Is everything ready for the Princess.?" One of the diggers nodded. "Alright, now go back to digging." The diggers cheered, their voices rather higher pitched than Elya expected, and ran into the mine tunnel. "You''ll want to ride this one." Flanders said, "He''s dwagon-diddly-riffic!" He led her to a red dwagon that had a set of saddlebags set up. "Those gems will need to go directly to the Princess. She likes to handle the shiny things herself." "Thank you." Elya said, to be polite. She mounted the dwagon, with more ease than the first time. "We should both get back to our Duty." "Okaly Dokaly." The strange warlord said as she flew off. --------------------------- The second leg of the trip to the capital was as uneventful as the first. There was a set of rainy hexes that the dwagon went around, which she appreciated, and proved that the side''s territory was well scouted. Gobwin Knob was an impressive city, although she was probably biased. Level 5, with powerful walls and menacing aerial defenses. She noticed a stack of massive golems by the gate, with signamancy that was intimidatingly martial. Two stacks of flying knights and twenty stacks of pikers trained at the direction of Princess Tanya. While freshly popped commanders weren''t given all the information they could want, they at least knew the names and faces of their rulers, heirs, and chiefs. Tanya, despite being a warlord, cast Foolamancy to simulate enemies and dangers for her units, which probably doubled her effective level when training units at a minimum. The red dwagon ambled up closer to the Princess, slowing down until she was within arms reach of the smaller girl. "You''re croaked!" Tanya shouted at one of the knights. "Get off the field until the next round." Slumping, the knight followed her order, floating over to a small group of other knights. Another flying Warlady pulled her away from Princess Tanya, who had turned and started yelling at the drilling infantry. "So you''re the caster that the King mentioned?" She asked. Elya nodded, holding out her hand to shake the subordinate Warlady. "Elya von Culper. Turnamancer." The Warlady took her hand and shook it. "Victoria von Secret." She said, smiling. Elya liked her already. Her loyalty and drive was oriented mostly around the Princess, which was great. It would be difficult to turn her towards another team. "I''m the Princess'' adjutant." That was kind of an odd title, but Elya understood it. It meant that she handled minor matters so the Princess could focus on other tasks, with scouting reports being the most relevant. "It''s a pleasure to meet you." Elya said honestly. "I think we''re going to be good friends." She had her orders, so she should probably stop the smalltalk.."I have some gems from Ser Flanders." Even if he was promoted infantry, it cost her nothing to be polite. He was handpicked by the Princess, after all. This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it. "I''ll take those." Victoria said, taking the saddlebags off of the dwagon. "You should report to the King and Lord Rockwell now. Tanya will make time for you after she''s done training the men." Elya looked once more at the training. It occured to her that she may be able to improve this, with turnamancy. Training is just drilling, a routine that goes around and around, a cycle. She could accelerate it, she was sure. Should she? no, she should wait for orders. Gobwin knob was currently popping spidews, at a rate of two per turn. They were heavies, but rather inexpensive ones, fast but relatively fragile. She was likely to be ordered to make that three per turn. After all, her side was not currently at war, so it was unlikely that they had any prisoners. The dwagon deposited her on Efdup tower, and she walked to the throne room, to present herself to the King. On the way, she was directed to a powder room by one of the courtiers where she could freshen up from her flight. She appreciated the consideration, and also appreciated how the courtiers she interacted with were primarily motivated by the occasional praise that the Princess apparently gave out to efficient workers. The Titanic ideal for the unit class. Clearly, Yojo Mojo was favored by the Titans to have such diligent courtiers. One of the courtiers, right before the door to the throne room opened, blew on a horn. Introducing the Lady von Culper, of Gin-G. The doors opened at another horn blow, and Elya glided across the floor towards the throne. She popped with a military dress uniform, with a primarily green color. On her breast was the Princess livery, a silver medal of a twin headed dwagon, one with whiskers, one without. She kneeled before King Ansom, and awaited his response. As the King sat on his throne, he seemed unhappy. He was quite attractive, a bold chin and piercing blue eyes. He looked mighty, as his royal regalia could not conceal his strong muscles, although she could notice a slight softness in his stomach, and his hair seemed to be thinning But he put on a smile before he stood up and spoke, projecting his voice so all of the courtiers could hear. Your arrival is fortuitous, Lady von Culper. Please, tell the court what discipline of magic you practice. At his side, both Lord Rockwell and a second caster looked on in interest. I am a turnamancer, your majesty. Elya replied. The courtiers whispered among themselves, giving her appraising looks. The soldiers did too, but they were appraising her for something unrelated to magic. Do you wish for me to boost Gobwin Knobs production as I did for Gin-G? She asked. Or would you prefer that I augment the training that I passed in the garrison? King Ansom seemed somewhat intrigued at the second option, but shook his head. Boost the production of the Capital. He ordered. Elya was ready for that, and cast the spell smoothly. "Uberclock. She needed to squeeze out every last drop of juice to manage it, but she did it. Gobwin Knob will pop three spidews next turn. She reported, bowing as the crowd of courtiers politely clapped at the demonstration. At his silent order, Elya walked to his side, between him and the other caster, as another unit was announced. The new noble warlord from Orgchart, Eric von Leadon. Discreetly, she observed the King, to see what made him tick. What motivated her ruler? What she saw somewhat surprised her. His core motive force, King Ansom was a romantic. He lived for love, to rescue Princesses and get the "hero''s reward" from them. But those feelings did not extend towards Princess Tanya, cut short by a sense of inferiority, of inadequacy. King Ansom was frustrated in his role, but bound by his strong sense of duty towards royalty in general and his Father''s esteem in particular. If given the chance to put Tanya on the throne in his place and go on to save the Princess he currently held in his heart, he would take it in a second. Interesting it occured to Elya that most of the units seemed to have stronger loyalty to Tanya than to Ansom that seems to suit the man, so she won''t say anything on the matter. After all, learning deeply personal details and keeping them quiet until one could take advantage was what being a Spook was all about. --------------------------- [Stanley, level 11 Chief Warlord of Faq] Stan the man has been many things. A Piker, a Warlord, a Chief Warlord, and even an Overlord. He''s croaked more units than most sides even possessed. But now he''s back down to Chief. He doesn''t like admitting it, but being a Ruler isn''t quite as fun as most people think. Sure, you get whoopie, and respect, and you never have to do stuff you don''t want to do, but it was safe. Stanley finds that he doesn''t like safe. He was the Titan''s favored son, he was popped to kick crapholes and forget names, not to set production and manage money. He did like the money management part, though. Sometimes. There was a joy in feeling the treasury number go up as a ruler that warlords just couldn''t appreciate. Even now, it wasn''t the same. But now here he was, hunting for dwagons in the name of a crown, just like before. Say hello to the new boss, just like the old boss. Well the Queen was kind of a witch. Sure, he killed her King. That''s fair. But she didn''t even like him! Now Saline, he was a good King. He let Stanley do his thing, bring victories to Gobwin Knob. Saline understood that Stanley was special. After all, it wasn''t every turn that a piker promotes themselves to Warlord. That was something the Queen Witch and Wanda didn''t know about him. They asked him if he knew what Saline was thinking when he was promoted, but he just said that Saline knew he was awesome. Which was true. Saline promoted him to Heir Designate for that reason. But it was the Arkenhanmer that promoted him to Warlord. Dwagons follow the hammer for one reason alone: it is strength. They get a special bonus for fighting on the same side as the Arkenhammer, and dwagons love that feeling of strength. They know that the one who holds the hammer is a Winner, and dwagons are smart, they want on the Winning team. He used to Win all the time. So much Winning that he got tired of it. He took a break from Winning to be an Overlord. Biggest mistake of his life. Heh. That''s another thing that was nice about being the Ruler. If someone was too dumb to get your jokes, you could make them laugh anyway. But being serious, Wanda is right, in her scary but hot way. The Titans want all of the Arkentools together, in his hands. Hanging back and ruling when the Titans wanted him to smash things with the hammer just made things difficult for himself. That crap made sense. The second leg of his patrol ended as he entered the pass. While the high mountains were theoretically traversable, a lot of them in this area had weather so bad that you stood a real risk of croaking for trying. Losing fingers to frostbite was not fun. Except for this trail of hexes. You went through 30 hexes to cross 12 hexes of distance and paid 60 move to do it but it was still faster than going in a straight line, and doesn''t make you lose hits for the effort. The Queen parked a stack of dwagons here to guard the place, and Stanley was the guy who had to exhaust each of their move to check for any approaching enemy units. Why him? Because of the feral dwagons, of course. He usually found one every other turn here, which was faster than it used to be. Mostly because he''s combing through six times as many hexes, and there''s never a time when he knows a dwagon is there but can''t reach them when he patrols personally. Of course, the real reason is because Faq doesn''t have good scouting units. "Milord, I believe I''ve noticed a dwagon." Jack said, pointing it out by creating a little foolamancy arrow, which turned into a circle in his field of view. "A little red dwagon, in fact." Two turns in a row, eh? Lucky. Stanley tilted the dwagon he was riding on a flight path to intercept it. Right. Except Jack. He wasn''t a proper scout, but he was pretty good at navigating these mountains, which always seemed to change up on Stanley between turns. He also knew enough Lookamancy that he could peer past hex borders without trouble, so they didn''t run into an ambush. If only he managed that before they entered Faq. Somehow, the Queen Witch got ahead of him, and got an ambush that should never have worked. Jack was still hurt from the broken link, so his brains were scrambled and he was useless. It turned out okay, though. That Perfect Warlord got him the Arkenpliers. Sure, it wasnt exactly like he expected, but he didnt expect her to manage it at all. He was not looking forward to eventually having to fight her himself. Sure, hell win, because hes the Titans favorite, but if she could get the Arkenpliers from the royal jerkwads on such short notice when outnumbered so severely What can she do with levels and time? Wandas explanation on Tanyas actions was okay, he may have been too busy staring at Wandas chest to pay attention, but from what he did remember, she was making the column dance to her strings, going straight for the vulnerables and hitting the throat the instant she could. She reminds him of him, when he was getting used to the Arkenhammer. He wasted so much time at first, hitting people where theyre weak and taking several turns to smash his enemies, but the thing about fighting is that there was a point that no amount of fancy tactics or unit compositions that can stop knights on dwagons without one hell of a numerical advantage, and the things that can? Still cant handle the Arkenhammer when it Rocks their World. But the Queen Witch managed it. He remembered the fight like it was today, he couldnt forget it. He zapped her with the hammer, he knows he did. But he missed. He never misses. He was so shocked that when she croaked his screens, he was slow to call another dwagon. It left him open for whatshername, the hokey pokey. She had a tower spell saved just for him. And now he was back. Stanley still didnt know how to feel about that, nearly sixty turns later. Sure, his side has the Arkenpliers. Mission Accomplished. But Hrm. It didnt feel like a win. Eventually, after going through what was probably over two hundred different mountain hexes on thirty different dwagons, he finally got to fly back to the capital. One of Wandas warladies and her stack of lackeys met him at the map table. Nothing today cept a red. He told her. What was her name? Eh, she was some kind of noble, thats all he really needed to know. I sent it to Otoh. Now Otoh and Kibo both have a full stack of dwagons, plus one for a warlord. Now thats power. The warlady nodded primly at him and turned to her stack. One red dwagon for Otohs garrison. Yes, Duchess Potatoes. Said the lackey while digging through the box of figures. So that was her name. After the scouting map was done, after long and hard hours of flight, finally Wanda and the hokey pokey entered the Situation Room. We need better scouts. Stanley said, pounding the table with his fist. How are we gonna keep watch after I take the dwagons to go sack one of those royals? Hes always wanted to sack Transylvito. Those wiseguys think theyre so tough. Hell clip em with a good whack from the Hammer, see if those goombahs can handle the boss of this outfit after that. All in due time, Stanley. Said the hokey pokey. She was always saying stuff like that. It was annoying. Brother Orwell does not think highly of the Queen, but he will come around soon. I Predict it. Whos that? Stanley asked, Some kinda Lookamancer? Scouting mountains was a pain, but Lookamancers made things so much easier. He speaks from experience. Yes. Wanda said, before waving a hand. He will be the last caster of Faqs original court to join us before our apotheosis can begin. Hrm. Stanley really wanted to complain, Wanda didnt really know how to run a war but if his plan to use this capital site to build back up worked, he probably would have spent at least this long popping units and taming dwagons before trying to get more than the three cities that this valley has. Its just common sense. If your upkeep payments are low enough that youre getting more than a couple thousand shmuckers a turn, your army is tiny and you need to hunker down. They never actually dipped below that point in Gobwin Knob when he was in charge until Manpower lost all those Spidews. That disaster of a battle also wiped out all of their knights, except for the hobs. It was so hard to find warlords worth their upkeep. Fortunately, Faq didnt have that problem, because they had Stanley the Plaid. He knows a thing or two about how to conquer a side. They couldnt pop dwagons, but gwiffons were actually pretty close to them. Sure, the regular kind werent great, but that megalogwiff that popped a few turns ago was impressive. Hed rather have that in pink dwagons, but he could appreciate other kinds of heavy fliers. Getting a replacement for the hobs will be a pain, though. The what do you call them again? Decrypted, right. The Decrypted hobs couldnt be used to pop new members, not even the one that used to be chief. Theyre faq units, not natural allies. Which sucked. Rocking Out without a good band of knights sucked. There wasnt much more to say, really. Well, once we get the guy, we can go start conquering the world. Stanley said. He wasnt quite sure why the Titans have been making this so difficult, but with two Arkentools, it was still proof that he was the Titans favored son, destined for greatness. Conquering the world was inevitable, or his name wasnt Stanley the Plaid. Chapter 16 Tanya had expected herself to be reasonably capable of Rhyme-o-mancy, given the fact that she was reasonably skilled at singing. She could keep a beat, and could pretty easily pitch her voice accurately. This was partially because of extensive karaoke in her first life, but it had more to do with the fact that Being X had blessed her with a rather angelic voice, pun intended. It was so good, that the choir practice that she participated in solely for the promised chocolate for those who did their best swiftly became mandatory lessons, four hours every day but Sunday, on top of demands to perform during any actual service the church held, which made up for the lack of Sunday lessons. If it wasnt for the conscription, she could easily have taken up singing as a profession, and had planned to attempt to join up with an opera troupe once she got a little older, age 10 at least. But then the notice of conscription came. She tried to avoid it, but the nuns were always quick to resort to spankings for any child that did anything but slavishly obey their every instruction. She had experience with spanking, as rare as it was in her first life, but that really didnt help against the nuns, who could beat professional dominatrixes in spanking experience. But crossing the threshold of singing knowledge to magic was a little more difficult than expected. Dance-fighting came easily enough, but Okay, so when I tried to learn rhyme-o-mancy, Sizemore explained, -they put it like this: fundamentally, music is counting time. At first, he had difficulty recalling the lessons, but a spell from Maggie refreshed his memory. When you make a song, youre counting reasons why youll succeed, or that you need to succeed. You can make songs faster or slower, and rhyme-o-mancy can stack on an action and take it with them. He paused. ...It doesnt make a lot of sense, to be honest. Really? It made perfect sense to her. Time was very strange in a turn based wargame world, and magic existed, so the idea that there was time manipulating magic didnt surprise her. It was a little surprising that it was the music discipline that did it, but she pictured it as musical training montages like youd see in anime and it made sense again. Now there was an idea James tried to get me to understand it, but I just couldnt. Sizemore admitted, I could make some music, but it never actually did anything, no matter what I tried. The main reason she wanted to learn rhyme-o-mancy was the excellent bonus provided by dance-fighting, which would allow her to more ably take advantage of her leadership bonus by leading larger stacks, albeit at the cost of being unable to utilize optimal formations or terrain advantages. Unlike conventional warlord dance-fighters, a caster could more easily dance with units that were not trained to dance with that warlord in advance. But secondary to that was the numerous support spells that rhyme-o-mancy could provide. Even without juice, you could attempt to come up with a few rhyming couplets and increase your odds of success at whatever youre doing. It depended on how clever it was, which didnt really make much sense to Tanya at first, but given that the class of magic that it was was called Stagemancy, she supposed that there was either some invisible audience that the magic worked off of, the Titans perhaps, or perhaps Maggie was right in that it was a self-reinforcing confidence loop. By creating a clever rhyme, your opinion of yourself increases. It was not news to Tanya that confidence was important when dealing with risky and dangerous tasks. In other words, it was just a morale bonus. Many games have such things, and music was a common means of dispensing such bonuses. So from that perspective, it was not strange at all. I think I have an idea Id like to try. Tanya said, While dance fighting is all well and good, testing my understanding with something new should be more fruitful. Maggie slightly inclined her head. Do you have an idea? She asked. I will use music to enhance my drilling of the troops this turn. Tanya explained. Instead of foolamancy or in addition? Maggie asked, If you plan on using multiple disciplines of magic at once, I could assist you. Two person links do not impose significant penalties on retaining the magical insight you receive, unlike greater links. Tanya hummed at the suggestion. She knew that Maggie was just following her duty, to suggest ways she could use her discipline to assist Tanya in her goals. Supposedly, two person links could more accurately be described as the thinkamancer acting as a cognitive co-pilot, optimizing their thought processes towards the appropriate task and allowing a level of focus and multitasking that would be otherwise difficult, if not impossible. This subordination meant that there was little to no personality risk like there was for improperly managed three person links. Just small, manageable amounts of risk of damage that can be fixed by hiring Isaac, in the event that Maggie couldnt just fix it herself. Shed like to say that she could handle things alone but she was really unsure. If it would be more efficient to take on that small, manageable risk to improve the outcome for the side she was obligated to take it. Shes taken on worse risks, although the stakes were higher then. Very well. To the courtyard. Training was an interesting mechanic. She started on it when Count Harbinger suggested using it to practice her mathamancy, analyzing the results and determining the expected outcome. This kind of analysis required that Tanya use juice to bridge her understanding of the activities and their underlying numbers. It took four successful turns of training to go from level 1 to level 2, no matter what kind of unit it was. However, normally Warlords could only drill Men units, that is, infantry and knights. It took twelve additional successful trainings to become level 3, twenty four to become level 4, and so on and so forth. The odds of a particular turn of training being successful were low, by default it was a mere twenty percent. In addition, there was a growing malus for every level attained via training, of ten percent. So while you could just let your popped garrison infantry drill on their own for an average of one hundred sixty turns to get to level 3 and then stop, you usually wanted a warlord speeding things up. Every level the warlord has above the units theyre drilling adds a bonus of five percent, and certain spells enhance the process. Foolamancy didnt have a proper spell to assist in training, but instead by incorporating illusory realism, the odds of success grow, both directly and by removing the malus for a warlord drilling units that are dissimilar to their own fighting style. She liked training her units. The date-a-mancy bonds between her and her units grew through drills, and by adding the simulated danger of foolamancy explosions, fake enemies for them to dispatch, and other bits of excitement for them made their bonds to each other grow just as much. There was definitely something she was missing on why her training was so effective, though. According to her mathamancy, the results were a full standard deviation higher than they should be, even accounting for the bonuses. The drilling results from the other cities in the side were lower than expected, though, so it sort of balanced out? Tanya was beginning to suspect something magical that she didnt understand was responsible. Still, Tanya waited for the garrison to ready themselves. This turn, only the absolute minimum of her knights were used to scout, leaving her five whole stacks to train. Well, four stacks, but two of them were those twelve stacks that she bound together during the Haggar battle. It was a little annoying keeping them together enough to stay bonded, but that additional +2 was well worth it. Once she finished organizing the training groups, Maggie took Tanyas hand in her own, and her presence, which settled in her senses like fine tea, expanded Tanyas thoughts. Tanya started sinking juice into her voice. Dont go away She began softly as an intense guitar song started, Theres nowhere else to run! I know thats what we want, I know its a war we want. Tanya started casting foolamancy, barely thinking as she conjured fake armies for her infantry, noting position and numbers but rating the details of their movements below needing her direct attention, and started to point her wand at her knights, a smile emerging as the energy of the music buoyed her spirits. So raise your guns, Come on lets have some fun! She sang as she started firing foolamancy imitations of tower spells at her knights. I know thats what we want, I know its a war we want. Coming up, Coming up, the eyes that only see prey! She continued as she added foolamancy dwagons and ordered the ballista crews on the tower to start firing their training rounds. An instinct to act on, the hunger and its just not enough! Not enough! Tanya created a foolamancy version of herself and had it attack, dancing among her units. But thats the chain of command, and now we know we must not hide! We honor the warlords, With perfect timing, her knights all added a rhythmic oh oh oh to complement the music, and the beasts we unleash to to indulge in our desires! Tanya continued as she ducked and weaved through her subordinates weapons. Tanya clicked her tongue in disappointment. They should have scored at least one hit! We are in the airspace! With our talons, a croaking spree! With our blades, can you keep up with me? The illusion broke away from her units, landing among the fake infantry and increasing their performance in accordance with units that have benefitted from her leadership. I will lock on love, I will lock on love, She sang, although she wasnt sure why that was in the song. Still, her juice was being consumed at a rather prodigious rate, even if she wasnt entirely clear how long she had been singing. Go on your way! She sang, Create those cries of pain! Every soldier sang the next lines, as they were intended to: I know thats what we want, I know its war we want Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. No one is left, so take it all for yourself! Tanya continued, only for her soldiers to repeat the next two lines. She grinned. While linked with Maggie, Tanya could sense a thinkamancers impression on their units status. How many of them had leveled? With the accelerated thoughts that Maggie was providing, she didnt even need mathamancy: of the eight hundred garrison infantry and forty knights, three hundred forty-one and twenty-one had leveled up. An instant review of the session revealed the why: the foolamancy increased the effectiveness of each training roll, but the rhyme-o-mancy allowed them to cram many turns of training into just one. With the consumption of ten out of the fourteen available caster levels of juice and the miscellaneous efficiencies of a thinkamancy link it looks like it was six turns this time. Sizemore. Tanya said, Maggies voice echoing her words. What is the usual result of a rhyme-o-mancer accelerating training? I dont know. Sizemore admitted, But Ill go ask. he glanced over the exhausted soldiers. Uh How does it feel? Was it like I described? Tanya took a moment to reassess. After a heartbeat, she replied: It is difficult to describe. I am still me, but its like I finish thinking before I finish deciding what to think. Exactly. Sizemore said, nodding along. Thats exactly it. My next move is date-a-mancy. Tanya announced, before silently ordering her knights to assemble in front of her. Fifty assembled in front of her, the ones that were sent out to scout this turn having assembled as well, along with Lord White and Victoria. Lord Kurig was managing the scouts based in Cuteytoe right now, and Lord Newsman was coordinating in Fukuokay. Tanya could easily bind twelve of the ones that trained today into a larger stack, but she had enough juice to bind all the non-warlords into twelve-stacks, so Ah. She took each of their devotions to her, their strongest heartstrings, and started weaving them together into a rope of trust. She laughed as she realized the simplicity of it. Her very first usage of this spell came from created units, who have only one heartstring at all. Of course she can shortcut the normal requirements as long as they all loved her as their beloved princess and respected her as their teacher in battle. Fan club! She shouted to finalize her knots. The stacks settled. Reviewing her work, Tanya smiled as she saw the three sixteen stacks that she had created, indistinguishable from one another in their knotted strings. That used up the rest of their collective juice, so Maggies presence slowly disentangled from Tanya, nearly snagging their mutual heartstring on something, but Tanya pulled it free of whatever Maggie was doing. She expected some kind of mental damage from the decoupling, but none seemed to have occurred. Status? She asked Maggie. Something unexpected happened at the end there, but the damage is manageable. Maggie said, sounding slightly pained. I am only an adept thinkamancer, after all. Take the remainder of the turn off. Tanya ordered, Rest. Yes, Princess. Maggie replied, walking away somewhat woozily towards the tower. No, that wont do. Lord White, escort her to her quarters. Tanya ordered, Be sure to report to the evening debrief. Lord White looked surprised, but saluted and picked up Maggie in a bridal carry, flying towards her rooms window. Tanya promptly stopped paying attention to them before they got there. She knew what they got up to. The new caster, Lady von Culper the turnamancer, flew back into Gobwin Knob on a dwagon. Given their situation, Ansom had her focus on increasing production of garrison units in their weakest cities. It was simple work, which would not do much to level her up quickly, but it was useful. It would be difficult to level her up without prisoners to turn, but if Ace is anything to go by, extra juice and linking can level up a caster extraordinarily quickly. They''ll need to get around to that soon. Victoria smiled at the approach of the caster. They seemed to have hit it off, which Tanya didn''t really expect. "Elya! How was your trip?" "It was as usual, Visha." Elya said tiredly, using a nickname that she had invented for Victoria. "Cuteytoe''s almost full up on garrison units, should be only five more turns of boosting production until it starts popping field units." "I hope the dwagons haven''t been getting grumpy with you." Victoria said, glancing at the blue dwagon that Elya rode in on as it settled into one of the berths in the tower. "I told you, they''re fine." Elya said, waving off the concern. "They''ll follow orders without complaint." Elya had reported, as part of her duties, that the tamed dwagons have very low loyalty due to Stanley croaking, with the sole exception of King Bomber. Maggie had confirmed this, but didnt think the matter was any more urgent than Elya did. The only ones who cared about the loyalty of beast units were date-a-mancers, apparently. "How was the training?" Elya asked, changing the subject. "I leveled!" Visha said, proudly bearing her level five status. She had been croaking feral dwagons that the scouts had found over the last few turns, but she seemed to be leveling unusually rapidly even taking that into account, in comparison to the other knights and warlords. Grand Abbie Janis did mention that warlords could level more easily by comprehending the Date-a-mancy connections of Leadership, learning how to connect with their subordinates, so it could be that Victoria was just talented in that way. It made Tanya wonder how long its going to take for her to level again. She supposes it would probably require another war. --------------------------- Theyre curb-stomping them. Caesar said over the thinkagram. Apparently, Transylvito had a thinkamancer among their ranks, which Maggie was surprised to not know. This allowed them a greater efficiency and latitude to communicate, as the two casters can collaborate and share the magical burden, which permitted this strategy meeting among allies. Faq had finally started invading their neighbors. Thing was, they started with the single least objectionable one: Jitterati, the non-royal side thats been feuding (or, in the local parlance, beefing) with Transylvito for hundreds of turns, low-intensity conflict where the larger Transylvito bullied the less powerful Jitterati, who presumably made up for the shortfall with their more successful ventures on the sea. Kind of like Haggar and Jetstones relationship. In reality, Transylvito had a deserved reputation for being the biggest beasts on the block, with a unit profile that heavily favored fliers, which was aided by their high frequency of flying warlords. None of the nine or so popped warlords since Yojo Mojo was formed were fliers, so theyll need to use either promoted knights or dwagon mounts to achieve parity. But the terrain that separated Yojo Mojo and Translyvito was treacherous and contained Faq, so that natural border kept hostilities low even when Stanley was in charge. With Ansom? Translyvito was an unquestionable ally. It helped that Tanya seemed to have earned Ceasars respect from her actions in the battle of Gobwin Knob, so the man had been fairly free with information. How long do you think Jitterati can hold? Tanya asked as she examined the map. According to Caesar, they had deployed their only warlord with the scout special to keep an eye on the Jitterati situation, a wiseguy named Greg Sharper. He was a Ranger, so he was able to conceal himself in the wilderness and collect information with his bats, sending back the details via Transylvitos thinkamancer, a mute woman by the name of Bunny Velvetino. Sharper guesses five more turns. Caesar replied, I say it wont take that long for them to get pinched. Stanleys a tough goombah, forget about it. Tanya nodded along to his thick mafioso slang. The question is, is she going to consolidate with her new territory, or do a lot of razing and move on? Eh, shes razing half the cities. Caesar explained. Look, she kept Valdez and Kona, the ones closest to Faq, but sacked Cuppa and Java. Javas a port, so good odds thats gonna get taken by some sea-based side, so she can just keep taking it whenever some barone sets up shop. All Stanley needs to do now is go straight to the Capital by crossing the Bay au Tea... Always a bad move. Tanya joked. You know it. Caesar said, his visible fang growing as his lips curled upwards. Anyway, once hes got that locked up, Faq can take all four remaining non-coastal cities, sack Beafjuice, Tanya frowned. The last time he said that city''s name, it was Leanjuice Strange. And with the three cities we know those guys have, thatll leave em with nine. Tanya hummed. I dont think theyll take all four of those. She said, If we assume that your theory of their bait plan is correct, that they want to leave blank city sites to condense their defense while baiting in targets of opportunity, they would likely keep this city unmanned. She gestured to the map, which was a little strange in this mental meeting room, but it was understandable enough. Grindr? Yeah, that looks like a good spot to catch fools with their pants down. Caesar said in agreement. Whats northeast of Jitterati? Tanya asked. East was Charlescomm''s formally claimed territory, which was the polite way of saying ''he''ll croak you for free if you go here''. North was the ocean. West was also ocean. South was Transylvito. Southwest was Faq. Faq had gone north in their invasion. Eh? Oh, thats where Overlord Mandrill rules. Isnt a Mandrill a type of ape? Sides a mouthful: Aussimandayis. Tanya spent a moment trying to decrypt that mess of signamancy. Ozymandias? Thats an interesting name. Theyre good friends with Jitterati, but Sharper hasnt seen em. Theyre lying low, I guess. "Then the question remains: does Faq plan on going straight to conquering the Aussies, " Tanya was not saying that full name. "Or are they going to fight Transylvito?" "Don''s been talkin'' to her." Caesar admitted, "Calls her the most whatchacallit antisocial Queen he''s ever heard of." Oh? "She hasn''t been open to our overtures." Tanya said, "How did you open contact?" "We sent enough bats that she couldn''t veil all her cities." Caesar said, his grin sharpening. "Left a hat with a letter, and a threat. Her Majesty finally got off of her keister and picked up a pen after that." Hm. That was interesting. So you think Faq will avoid antagonizing Transylvito? Tanya asked. I think shell go for us next. Caesar corrected, Shes got Stanley calling shots, and shes disrespectful to the Don. Shes spoiling for a fight. Tanya hummed. Would you be requesting aid, then? I wouldnt dare send dwagons against the Arkenhammer. We can handle that mook. Caesar insisted, and a pulse on his heartstrings drew Tanyas attention. Oh? Apparently he and Bunny the Thinkamancer care for each other very much Oddly, unlike Tanyas own heartstring with Maggie, as professional that relationship was, that heartstring was smoothly connected between the two, while Tanyas had a small hitch in it, the string tugged in a random direction by something Tanya couldnt quite detect. It looked like another string, actually. An invisible one. Still, her status as a caster was still secret, so she cant ask Bunny about the difference. Perhaps it would be useful information to help Maggie become a Master-class thinkamancer? While the strategic update is appreciated, there must be something you wish to ask of us. Tanya reasoned. Yeah, I wanna know if Ansomll keep his word if the Queen Whacko does attack us. Were taking our turn a lot later than we usually do, so this alliance aint easy for us. Caesar said, scowling. Or is the most were getting out of this a one-two dance on his little square head once the Worm starts sniffing around? Tanya hummed. The issue was that she wasn''t entirely sure. "If you were facing literally anyone else, it wouldn''t even be a question that he would. Ansom takes the Royal Crown Coalition as seriously as his father does." She said, "But Queen Jillian I''ll start positioning forces in Faq''s direction. If you have a line of communication, Ansom can send a letter of his own to inform the Queen of the consequences of fighting the Royal Crown Coalition. He''ll do that, and then he can''t complain when I follow through and attack Faq directly while their forces are in the field." She''ll have to phrase it as a rescue mission for Jillian. Ansom would like that. Caesar stared at Tanya as she thought out loud. "Yeah, I get it." He said quietly as he slowly nodded. "Arkentools or not, they''re not gonna want to scrap with both of us." "And if Faq starts to surround Charlescomm" Tanya added "The problem may solve itself." Caesar wasn''t as optimistic about that proposal. As he should be, really. "Maybe" he said begrudgingly. "Not sure I like either of them winning that." Tanya nodded in agreement. "The real risk is them joining forces. If there''s anything that would convince Charlie to change his modus operandi, being a three Arkentool side might do it." Or Wanda winning and doing what she did to Stanley to Charlie. But at least that way means that Charlie will do some damage before going down. Caesar shuddered. "I''m gonna need something strong tonight." He muttered, and his heartstring to Bunny was tugged and teased by the woman''s finger, who concealed the act with an offhandedly bored motion, her intense amusement and slight concern completely concealed from her face, and only a twitch of Caesars lips betrayed the emotions her subtle show of support provoked. It almost made Tanya feel like a voyeur, spotting something that should have been concealed by a metaphorical table. Maggie nonverbally sent a signal that indicated that they were approaching the juice budget for this conversation. I believe thats all the business we have this turn. Tanya said, clapping her hands. Caesar jolted in surprise as his attention was brought back to the thinkagram instead of the thinkamancer. Unless theres another matter? Tanya asked, trailing off. Nah, nah. Caesar said quickly. Bunny? Break. Chapter 17 [Maggie Matcher, level 4 Adept Thinkamancer of Yojo Mojo] Life under King Ansom and Princess Tanya was acceptable. Maggie had long considered the various pros and cons of Yojo Mojo over Gobwin Knob. Some facets were better, like how she no longer has to constantly manage her mercurial ruler''s moods, but some were worse, as she was no longer quite as essential to the side as she was before. One big plus was the opportunity to learn more about Sizemore Rockwell, who she had never really spent much time with under Stanley. His mind was a lot sharper than she had initially given him credit, and he had some truly fascinating ideas, even if they were, at times, rather quaint. There was also Lord White, but that was just physical. Soldiers like him were easy to find. The most intriguing mind, however, would have to be Tanya herself. It was a little interesting to compare her mind before and after she was crowned. Her grandiocosmic strings before were always snarled, some quiet specter constantly stressing out her mind without release. Afterwards, and particularly after she got a chance to clean up her thoughts through a dream cycle, she was far more comfortable with herself and her position. But whatever malaise was holding her back before, she changed surprisingly little externally. She took to royal etiquette like a gobwin to caves, finding comfort in the fact that she knew what to do, in contrast to before when her confidence was a paper thin facade over a thick sea of anxiety. It was somewhat surprising, to both her and Headmaster Isaac, how easily Tanya slotted herself in as an ordinary Warlady, even if she remained rather odd for a Princess. It was expected that someone from another world would be stranger. But she fought for her Duty as easily as any other Warlady, risking her life with no hesitation. There was something discomfiting about how quickly she transitioned her loyalty to their side, and how easily she accustomed herself to the practicalities of command. Even normally popped warlords tended to get uncomfortable with the thought of being Chief Warlord so soon after popping, but the Princess jumped into the thick of things without missing a step. Perfect Warlord, indeed. Her fumbling start with magic, and her stumbles on the strangest facets of conducting war, did prove that she was still from another world, just one that was closer to Erf than Headmaster Isaac imagined. Maggie wasn''t privy to whatever information the Great Minds had on where the Perfect Warlord was summoned from, only that Tanya was not the first, and there were expectations set by that other Perfect Warlord that Tanya did not match. "Did you notice what Bunny did at the end there?" Tanya asked after taking a moment to comport herself. She was blushing, which was unusual enough that it intrigued Maggie. "To their string?" Maggie''s heart skipped a beat. She could see grandiocosmic strings? Still, it was a simple matter for a thinkamancer to control their emotions and expression, so she merely quirked her eyebrow. "I don''t know what you''re talking about, Princess." "Ah, their heartstring." Tanya clarified, "Their Date-a-mancy connection." Oh. It was just a coincidence. "I thought thinkamancers couldn''t see them, but then I noticed Bunny sending those love messages through it so I thought" Hm. Perhaps there is a connection. She frowned. "Did Caesar ever say if Bunny was a Master or not?" Maggie shook her head. "He did not, Princess. However, while I could not say for sure whether or not she was," the other Thinkamancer had expertly blocked all attempts for a sidebar conversation. "I can say that she is likely more skilled than I." There was a good chance that she was a Master, but she could merely be on the cusp of the rank instead. While Maggie had been making a lot of progress into understanding her discipline with all of that linking, that didnt mean she knew exactly how close that elusive rank was. Princess Tanya hummed. "Emotions and feelings are parts of minds perhaps learning a bit of Date-a-mancy would be useful for your development?" Maggie wasn''t sure about that but it probably couldn''t hurt. In the worst case, she''ll just need to sequester the knowledge, unavailable unless called upon. Every caster hungers for knowledge, for a chance to advance their understanding of their discipline. They pop with a vague awareness of the higher capabilities of their discipline, enough to answer questions from their ruler if they ask for something beyond the skill of a novice, confirming that it was within the scope of their discipline. Stanley never really had questions of that nature, but Tanya had plenty. She had immediately deduced several aspects of Thinkamancy that the Great Minds had declared secret with minimal information, and due to her status as the Perfect Warlady, she had the clearance to know many of those secrets without steps needing to be taken. It was necessary in order to arm her for her eventual conflict with Charlie. Maggie was just glad that Tanya didn''t put up a fuss about making a pinky swear not to share those secrets. It''s very safe, but Headmaster Isaac was worried about Tanya not understanding that without some convincing. The turn wasnt quite over, so they adjourned to handle the last few matters, most relevantly they needed to follow through on the plan outlined to Transylvito. Ansom did not like the news they had for him, but the idea of getting correspondence to Queen Jillian without getting ignored was an opportunity that motivated him to follow through with Tanyas promises on his behalf. When they reconvened in Tanyas room, seated at the odd low table she had, the one that was too low to have chairs but instead used cushions, Tanya was not in a good mood. He better be properly threatening in his letter. She groused, That damned heartstring is too thick for my comfort. Maggie cleared her throat. If you could elaborate, perhaps, on the nature of that? Tanya took a deep cleansing breath. Okay, so date-a-mancy. Every person has a list of preferences. They value things differently than other people. Sometimes the difference is small, sometimes the difference is large. It is a basic economic principle, that each persons price point is different. In the difference between objective value, cost, and subjective value, demand, is where profit can be made. Maggie easily quashed the amusement that attempted to infect her face, even if Tanyas money centric perspective on another magic was objectively funny. Date-a-mancy is the magic of pairings, of the relationships between two things. Its the first thing most people would tell you about the discipline, its even how it''s described in Scripture. Maggie nodded along. The Hippiemancers would instead call it the magic of Love. Both of these things are correct. I find that few disciplines can be properly encapsulated in one thing without giving the wrong impression on the full capabilities of the discipline. Maggie could certainly agree with that, even what little she could access about the Great Minds vast treasure troves of knowledge proved that while all magical disciplines did have a singular axis on which it turned, Language was too limited to properly explain them succinctly. Tanya continued her explanation. These pairings are represented by a metaphorical string, which encodes all emotional contexts between the two sides of the pair. This is a heartstring. By spending juice, I can sharpen my perception of them, and thus can see things that I could only barely sense before. For example She paused, focusing on Maggie. ...your relationship with von White is purely physical, and you find him bland and uninteresting otherwise. Tanya frowned, That really isnt fair to him, you know. Maggie hummed. She was right. I suppose I could try and find someone a bit more interesting. Tanya hummed. You find Sizemores pacifism novel and interesting. Why not pursue that? She could even tell that? If Maggie wasnt such a proficient thinkamancer, she wouldnt have been able to conceal her blush. But she was and thus had. Ah Sizemores infatuation with Grand Abbie Atlantis precludes such things. She admitted. I suppose. Tanya acknowledged, My point is that this kind of information should be within the purview of Thinkamancy to find, and Bunnys manipulation of heartstrings during the thinkagram proves it. She used them to pass Ceasar secret messages, for one. Maggie let her eyes widen. She didnt even notice They didnt seem like important messages, nor was her doing that any kind of a problem, but she did. Maggie knew that, as an Adept, her knowledge of her own discipline was incomplete. It had to be, for even Masters continued to learn and grow. You are probably correct. Maggie admitted. You see, much as how date-a-mancy operates by reading and manipulating those heartstrings, a useful metaphor for thinkamancy includes the use of strings. Thinkagrams connect the strings between two people, linking knots those strings, etcetera. Revealing this was potentially censurable, but Tanyas previous pinky swear would also cover this, and she could downplay the broader implications behind the grandiocosmic strings. We call them G-strings, although the reason for that is not particularly important. Tanya closed her eyes as she absorbed that information. Her adjutant entered the room, placing a tea service between them and pouring them both a cup. Thank you, Visha. Were discussing classified information, so if you could guard the door and not listen in? She asked it as a request, but the thinkamancy of an order made it clear that it was not one. Yes Tanya. The adjutant said, saluting before following the order. Tanya had started calling her that after the new caster, Elya, gave Victoria the nickname. Tanyas only reason was she liked it, which was fair enough. Now, the G and H strings. Tanya said, bringing them back on topic. Their adjacency on the alphabet is no coincidence, I think. She said contemplatively. Each is just a step removed from the other. I wonder Tanya started casting, although Maggie could tell that she was trying something new. Suddenly, a memory packet unfolded in Maggies mind, recalling the date-a-mancy spell she had assisted Tanya in casting while linked. Even for a thinkamancer, it was difficult to retain the information gleaned about other disciplines while linking, but the memory was clear as she braided the heartstrings of her knights into a mighty stack. It was somewhat like a thinkamancy information transfer spell but it just appeared in her mind. Wait ...Do that again. Maggie said, paying very close attention to her G-strings. After another memory, this time of the unlinking of that link, but from Tanyas perspective as she pulled an H-string that was providing tension to a G-string, but she couldnt see the G-string, instead seeing the H-string. Maggie immediately sent back the opposite perspective through conventional thinkamancy, as she carefully untangled their G-strings until a tension that was there mysteriously vanished. At turns end, she had leveled, and knew that she was a Master-class Thinkamancer. Soon, shell be one of the Great Minds who Think Alike. --------------------------- [Princess Tanya von Degurechaff, level 6 Chief Warlady of Yojo Mojo] Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more. Tanya had been on Erf for eighty turns, and finally the peace she had been enjoying has been broken. Faq had respected Ansoms threat, and after absorbing Jitterati had continued on to fight Aussiemandayis. Haggar was still licking their wounds, but Jetstone had entered open conflict with Rightshoring, HobbitTM piling on that conflict. Dogfort had supposedly started a fight with the Sofa King and their protectorates, FoxMUD and the Hyatt Regency, and Unaroyal sent a column of units to prove to the Doge that fighting the Royal Crown Coalition was a mistake they will not survive to regret. It is expected that the result will be Hyatts ascendence into a proper peer to the other members of the RCC. Whether or not they actually started the fight or the Sofa King is just conquering to expand their subordinate side unclear. Transylvito stayed out of things, content with their continual low boil of conflict with Metroland and Carpool. It had been decided, now that half of the accessories had been finished, to send the augmented stacks to the Rightshoring conflict, supporting Jetstone and HobbitTM. There was just one small diplomatic issue that needed to get cleared up first. Return Jetstones caster immediately! Shouted a furious King Slately. Elya had taken initiative and gotten Ace to turn, without spending a single drop of juice to do so, only seduction and manipulation. She even leveled for doing so. Tanya had walked through the portal to Spacerock, Jetstones capital, to discuss the matter in person. King Slately, be reasonable. While we acknowledge a debt has been incurred by Lady von Culpers reckless actions, You need to look no further than the fact that our alliance is still intact to find that his turning was willing. Let us talk terms. with their secret supply of gems, they could pay any reasonable price he could quote, and quite a few unreasonable ones. Holly Shortcake''s golems are the backbone of our columns! King Slately proclaimed. There is no price sufficient to leave us without dollamancy! Woah, your Majesty, let''s not say things that I''m going to regret. Chief Healomancer Pierce said, We haven''t had Ace bunking here for nearly forty turns now, and everythings still standing. On cue, the martini glass that he had set down got knocked over. Oh now that''s a tragedy. He said, looking at the glass. It''s true, it''s true. Lord Bernhard, Jetstone''s dittomancer, added. We can still dupe Ace for what we need him to do. And that''s the crux of the issue. Tanya said, if we were talking about Holly Shortcake, wed be having a very different conversation. But we''re not. We are talking about Ace Hardware. Acting at your direction, he remained a level one novice for 30 turns. After only slightly more time on our side, he is now a level 5 Adept. Tanya shook her head in disappointment. Allowing Lord Bernhard to continue to duplicate Ace on an ongoing basis is an acceptable condition. Our alliance is valuable and has benefited both sides. Name an acceptable amount for reparations, and it will be arranged with all possible speed. After a moment, she added: Naturally, this will include forgiveness for the remainder of the outstanding debt. Slately scowled, the short, squat, and old King looking more like a pouting child than a regal monarch. Five hundred thousand Shmuckers. He declared. The courtiers and his casters gasped in shock at the price. A hundred grand per level was expensive for an adept, as Ace is not exactly a big deal, magically. But it was overpriced expensive, not insultingly unreasonable expensive. More importantly, it was an amount that Yojo Mojo could plausibly have, albeit possibly needing to downgrade a city to get the full amount. They wouldn''t normally, their treasury only recently cracked three hundred thousand, but their mine was not normal. Your Majesty, Pierce started to object before closing his mouth, Slately having clearly ordered him to be silent. Well? Slately asked, staring imperiously at Tanya. Tanya put on a show of considering the figure, pretending to do mental math. After about 30 seconds of doing so, she shrugged. Okay. On cue, her tiara rumbled, and she took it off and shook it gently over a pillow presented by an exceptionally quick witted attendant. One by one, five gems fell out of it. After double-checking that they had the full one hundred thousand each, she allowed the attendant to present them to King Slately. I believe that resolves this matter? she had Maggie waiting in her room with a hat, specifically to enable this particular diplomatic coup. King Slately didn''t look shocked in a conventional sense, royal decorum was important and while emotions like anger were perfectly acceptable to make a point, surprise was a demonstration of weakness. She could still tell that he was discomfited by the ease with which she fulfilled his request. After a long pause, he nodded. I suppose it does. He said, resigned. No doubt he had planned to wheedle all sorts of concessions, but they could afford to take this on the chin; paying this bill in cash bought much more than just one caster. I assure you, this move will strengthen the Royal Crown Coalition. Tanya said, giving him her best battle maniac'' grin. She was about to go into battle, she couldn''t show fear. In fact, well be demonstrating Aces new products and their effectiveness on Rightshoring as a demonstration of his strength. Tanya sharpened her senses, sensing the many minor heartstrings that trailed from her to the people around. Visibility of a heartstring was a function of emotional weight and distance, so she could see their fear of her grew in equal measure with their respect. She was a foreign General, so it was good for them to fear her a little bit. King Slately? The colors of that vibrant heartstring were complex primarily respect, a blend of fear, as he fears all who have personally fought in battles, a little bit of pride and vindication and just a tiny sliver of growing resentment. Spending a little more juice, she pulled that troublesome color out. Best not to let that take root. Date-a-mancy was one of the weakest forms of mind control in Erfworld, but it was certainly capable of keeping relations peaceful, if wielded precisely. All she was doing was keeping the man calm and rational about his ally, nothing more. After all, it was the magic of making friends. --------------------------- Why did you hide this from me? King Ansom asked, pacing around the tea room. In front of Tanya, all eighteen remaining gems gleamed. She had expected that Slately would not be quiet about things. Bluntly, I didnt think the discrepancy would be so large. Tanya replied, Having a secret reserve of shmuckers seemed wise, in case of various contingencies. Mostly Ansom being a bit too generous with Jetstone. I instructed them to only remove and conceal large gems, so as to minimize the disruption. By the time I had returned, the reserve had already grown to the point where revealing it would cause problems. Tanya paused to sip at her tea, idly wondering if the Hippiemancers knew of matcha or coffee. She should ask. The local variety was some kind of black tea that was just called tea, although she couldnt recognize it. The natural changemancy that turned it from the tea bricks in the larder added a citrusy note and it was served with honey, which Tanya always added. For some reason, the kettle had rose petals steeping in with the water, which added a little extra something that Tanya found hard to describe. I thought it would be better to pair the news with the resolution of a problem, thus our current situation. Ansom continued to pace, before stopping and taking off his crown, wiping the sweat off his brow. Hm, was his hairline always that high? As she understood things, units that were poorly utilized for their side tended to gain signs of old age and infirmity, which was occasionally difficult to discern from signamancy indicating wisdom. Much like the line between genius and madness, she supposed. Another sign that ruling didnt suit him. ...How could we have over one million shmuckers? He asked, although it was rhetorical. Its unclear. Tanya admitted, Presumably, we can spend some of it now, what are your orders? She remained calm, with her metaphorical finger on her rulers emotional pulse. Much like his father, shed had to nudge him in a direction that kept their relationship copacetic in the past, neither antagonistic nor romantic, but despite the negative emotions that he was currently feeling, there wasnt anything that she felt the need to intervene on. Upgrade the capital to level five, to start. Ansom said immediately. Beyond that Upgrading all of our level twos to three? Threes to four? Upgrading a city to level four or five significantly increased the defenses and income but conventional wisdom was to do such things in stages, ensuring that you didnt present an appealing target for raiding. The difference in wealth generated by razing a level four or five city in comparison to a level 3 was substantial. Make use of Lord Rockwells discount. He added. Understood. Tanya said, standing up and leaving the King to his thoughts. --------------------------- In addition to being able to convert their juice to increase the citys defenses, which directly lowered the cost to upgrade, having a dirtamancer direct a citys upgrade also provided a small discount, depending on their level of mastery. An Adept like Sizemore provided a three percent discount, which wasnt much but upgrading a city from four to five cost a whopping two hundred seventy five thousand shmuckers, twenty-five thousand more than all the other levels combined, even three percent was over eight thousand shmuckers. When linked up, this increased to six, like it would if he was a master. Moneymancers can provide a similar, lesser discount even before spending juice that applies to any kind of moneymancy upgrade. These bonuses do not ordinarily stack. Think of the moment when you finally understood Moneymancy. Maggie advised as they gathered in the tower. That moment when the words of your lessons became knowledge. The first spell you ever cast with it. There is a comfort there, in applying knowledge rather than risking the unknown. Tanya took a deep breath, dispelling the nervous energy. She gripped Maggies hand in time with Sizemore on the thinkamancers other side. Restructuring. She intoned, and then things got weird. Every piece of Stuff that composed the hexs interior became known to them. Each piece was cataloged, organized and measured by the length of their value string. One and one and one and one and Were in the weeds. the thinkamancer thought. Zoom out and save bandwidth. Lets TL;DR it. Instantly, the deck pivoted to base ten. We must play to strengths. the moneymancer provided, Dirtamancer, next steps? The low-hanging fruit would be the defenses. the dirtamancer explained, The old walls were best in class. Walls are table stakes. the moneymancer retorted. Our OKRs dont indicate that allocating our deliverables there will allow us to meet our KPIs. Add some color. The dirtamancer replied, confused. Our core competencies Our core competencies are scouting and aerial assault. the moneymancer insisted. If any siege RTOs, were already circling the drain. The tunnels are our bottleneck. The thinkamancer added, We can pivot from mining to defense, but the ROI on defense is not going to move the needle on our go to market strategy. Can you see the gems? The dirtamancer asked, frustrated. We cant trim that fat. They paused as they digested that. We can see the gems. The moneymancer eventually pointed out. Can we drill down, do a deep dive on the situation? Yes. Breaking down the silos. The dirtamancer declared, their mutual anticipation vibrating their H-strings. Acquiring Assets. They said as one, spending juice to convert every single one of those gems into the treasury. Emboldened, they quickly assembled action plans for each facet of the city, designing the new defenses and economic outputs. They sent a confirmation to King Ansom, who ordered the upgrade with their now much larger treasury. It worked! The dirtamancer exclaimed as they examined the results of their work. Its a fallback option. the moneymancer insisted, ROI is negative in most use cases. There are more gems to acquire. The thinkamancer observed, bringing back their attention to the matter at hand. Acquiring Assets. --------------------------- Tanya rubbed her forehead as the slight ache abated. Thank you, Headmaster. She said as the man removed his hand from her head. Its no trouble, its a pleasure to work with you. Headmaster Isaac said politely. Tell me, did your plan work? Tanya grinned. Yes, our tower is now capable of recharging its stores of juice by spending shmuckers. Sure, at two thousand shmuckers per caster level, this was not a cheap option, and the unallocated juice was turned into cheap shockamancy attacks that were only about as strong as the basic among basic spells, which was called hadoken. But with her wand, those weak attacks could become anything. A hired shockamancer could also use the juice more effectively if they needed to use it to defend the city. Sizemore promised to find a trustworthy one to have a contingency contract with. Oh, and the discount went up to ten percent. She added. Most of that saved money went to paying Isaac for the decoupling, but that wasnt the point of the linkup. Most importantly, it meant that they could quickly finish the accessories and increase the +2 bonuses to +3 by dropping around half of a million shmuckers on juice for Ace, allowing him to work on the transformation feature for however long it takes him to do so. Sizemore beamed at the results of their work. Its fascinating, what we learned. You see, the portal column does more than just provide a link to the Magic Kingdom. Its the keystone in which the entire cityno, the entire side depends on. You couldnt set up The Exchange on an ordinary city site, I dont think. He spent some time thinking, the details of what they learned in the link already slipping from their minds. It makes me wonder what else could be done with it. He admitted, ...and if anyone else has already done so. Its good to get that confirmed. Isaac said with a smile. Moneymancy and dirtamancy is not a combination that has much experimental data, you understand. Apparently, despite the power of it, few sides are willing to accept guild oversight of any three-way links, which usually ended very poorly for any who tried it anyway. Well keep this knowledge safe for you. Admittedly, the Great Minds secretive attitude about their guild secrets, link results included, was a bit trying, but this world was war-obsessed, so it was understandable that they would prefer to balance the risk their members undertake with their curiosity. Besides, who would she tell? Transylvito? Actually, they have a moneymancer and thinkamancer, the instantly empty a mine effect would be useful to them if they got a dirtamancer to play along. While not every mine will have the twelve million total shmuckers that Gobwin Knobs did, getting even one million was well worth a link. Still, their alliance with Transylvito was one of convenience more than actual good relations, although that was improving over the Faq issue, so she wouldnt have told them anyway. I suppose youll be leaving next turn for Rightshoring? Maggie asked, Be careful. Tanya barked out a laugh. Ive seen Rightshorings unit profile. She said, grinning. Jetstone had provided their intelligence freely when they had sent over the knights and single stack of dwagons plus King Bomber, two turns previous. They were currently resting at Spacerock, and next turn Tanya will join them through the portal and theyll take Rightshoring by storm in a demonstration of strength that will either intimidate HobbitTM from attacking or provoke them into breaking the alliance. This wont be a war. She added, It will be a live fire exercise. Chapter 18 While it was only about half of Yojo Mojos air forces, the level of force that they had brought was substantial. All three sixteen-stacks of her accessory-laden knights were brought, led by the Warlords von White, von Kurig, and von Newsman, who will hopefully level further in the conflicts. One stack of dwagons, which was all five pinks, including the one they had popped recently, a single green/red pair, King Bomber, and two purples, in case they needed to break a siege door or something. This stack was the one led by Tanya, with Elya taking up the caster slot, magically paired with the highest-level pink dwagon, a level five she named Latex for some reason. Visha was present along with eight level 1 Noble warlords, mounted on those dwagons, but their jobs were to be floating warlords, pun intended, either attaching themselves to an allied stack or to lead whatever auxiliaries they gain from Elya turning enemy units. Tanya wasnt quite sure how she felt about deploying tactical mind control to this extent, but given how questionable free will was for the inhabitants of this world giving these battle maniacs another chance to fight seemed to come out positive, from her understanding of their common belief system. Some of those warlords will croak, others will survive and level. It all comes down to her tactical decisions. Nevertheless, Spacerock was two turns from the rendezvous point on dwagonback, and while her knights were faster than dwagons, particularly when they were slowed down by the level 1 pink, it wasnt by enough of a margin to change that. They used the surplus to find a good nesting spot to rest the dwagons at and to check for enemy ambushes within however large of an area they could manage to search. So she emptied her juice finishing those accessories before she left, sending them over to her knights via hat, and by the time she arrived at the front shell be back to full along with Elya, who boosted production of four cities one last time. From here on out, her juice is to be spent turning units and manipulating Move. Its an interesting capability Tanya said as Elya worked her magic on the stack. Its easiest if Im transferring it between two units of the same kind. If I was better at it, I think I could do more. Elya replied, depleting move from King Bomber and Latex to bolster the move of the lowest level dwagons in the stack. This will extend our range by about six hexes, if my math is right. Seven, actually. Tanya corrected after spending a drop of her juice on calculating it. Dwagons have best-in-class move for a heavy flier mount, so they gain 8 move per three levels. Fifty at 1, Fifty-three at two, fifty-six at three, fifty-eight at four, and sixty-one at five. Elya nodded seriously at Tanyas explanation, paying close attention. Levels are 1, 2, 3, 3, and 5 among the pinks, fives for the red and green, a pair of fours for the purples, and King Bomber is also five. Minimum move is fifty, average move is fifty-seven and a half. We require two more levels, at least one of which is not one of the level three pinks, in order to average fifty-eight move, which is the move rating of our level 3 knights. Which was the lowest level among the ones she selected for her elite rapid response force. There werent enough higher ones to fill everything out, although she did make sure to make at least one of them, Lord von Whites stack, to have only level fours and fives, which thus had an extra three move. So I need to move one into each of the level threes, four into the level two, and seven into the level one I got it. Elya said, carefully calibrating the stacks Move by pulling the surplus move from the level 5 dwagons. Motion magic was useful stuff, perhaps she should try and start to learn Weirdomancy? She kind of has her hands full with the five disciplines she was currently working with, though That was two more than most experienced casters dealt with, so she felt comfortable in leaving other options to the side for now. Soon enough, Tanya found themselves in front of Prince Ossomer once again, at the head of a much more powerful flying host. Good evening, Prince Ossomer! She declared as she landed in a chair that was prepared for her at the tactical map. Whats the tactical situation? Poor. The Prince replied bluntly. Rightshoring has been strengthened by their conquest of Leftovers, and have used those resources to send many mid to high level warlords against us. Tanya frowned. That could actually pose a problem, depending on their force compositions. I assume they lead knights mounted on Drama Llamas? They were the biggest threat to her units. The vast majority of Rightshorings land units had less than ten move. There were precisely two exceptions, each with sixteen instead. The flying advanced infantry unit known as Beagles, which were slow for non-heavy fliers but somewhat effective at aerial dogfighting with a foolamancy special to make them harder to hit, and the drama llama, which has the lowest possible move for a non-heavy mount unit but had a ranged acid spitting attack, which meant they were basically archers. Some of em, yeah. Prince Bill-Bob said, his drawling speech giving Tanya a distinctly rural impression. Others are leadin stacks o Minertaur Heavy Knights, Their natural allies, heavy digger units that presumably occupy the role of siege for their army. And theres one or two dance-fighters leading big infantry stacks. Hm, seemed like a conventional distribution of forces, for the most part. Over half of em are led. I assume some of those warlords are uncroaked? Tanya asked, The intel mentioned a croakamancer. And a Chief Dittomancer, both sons of Overlord Epic Showdown, their names were Boomstick and Whiz. The uncroaked army is why their force is so fearsome after conquering Leftovers. Ossomer said, his tone grave. Theyre duplicating their croakamancer, so youd need to defeat four powerful hexes at once to make sure you get him. Tanya blinked. Well, shell just have to do that. Unless they have a few fast mounts, the duplicates would still be bound to the dittomancers general area. Whats the scouting look like? Our Ranjahs- Bill Bob started, his thick accent not helped by the chewing tobacco he had put into his mouth since he last spoke, -are keepin a perimeter, and Lord Tears should be givin us a report any- He paused as his hat, a straw one, shuddered. He took it off and plucked a parchment out of it, unrolling it. Here tis. He said, turning it around. Having an allied Lookamancer was quite convenient. Even if it was somewhat inconvenient that it was one of the two that may be enemies later. She should just be thankful that Lord Allen Tears was busy during the battle of Gobwin Knob. Tanya had eventually figured out a few magical tricks that her Recon special provided her, and one of which was a zoom function on her regular eyesight. How much move do we have to move our base hex? Tanya asked. Six. Ossomer said, But we can go eight if needed, with some adjustments to our composition. Presumably, leaving behind the slowest units. As the infantry stack designated for the task updated the map on the table, Tanya counted the hexes. With the move pooling that Elya used, they have twenty eight move left for their forces. Range of twenty two hexes without leaving themselves vulnerable to counterattack, twenty of they don''t push the base hex. According to intelligence, the most relevant numbers were a level 10 Chief Warlord, level 7 croakamancer, and level 6 chief dittomancer. Plus an unknown level 2 caster, theorized florist from the plant units in his stack. Checking levels wasnt something a novice lookamancer could do, but HobbitTM had a Master. Nineteen, twenty, twenty-one. Tanya finished, speaking out loud for the last three numbers to inform the other commanders. I''ll need you to take the extra two hexes, or at least one, to come back after hitting this hex. That one? Ossomer asked. The Croakamancer is assuredly a dupe in that hex. He pointed out. There are also three warlords in there. Tanya pointed out. Elya, how many units can you turn in one turn? All three and then some boasted the turnamancer. This was a lie, given the levels involved getting all three warlords would be iffy, but with Tanya bolstering her juice reserves Right, well be leaving our riders with the column, to allow us to return with the freshly turned troops. Tanya explained, They''re all eager to croak the enemy, so don''t be afraid to give them dangerous postings. The various level one warlords, each proudly bearing von names, all chimed in their agreement. This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source. Ossomer frowned at the outburst of enthusiasm, as it wasn''t quite proper decorum, but Tanya had encouraged her leadership units to voice any concerns or comments during the planning meetings, and they didn''t let the fact that they agreed with all of her decisions stop them from providing the requested input. Understood. We have a few unled stacks of heavies that could use the bonuses. After a brief exchange of small details, Tanya grinned as she flew forth. Maybe shell level up --------------------------- Her knights were a minimum level of 3, with a base combat and defense of 6 at that level. The maximum power date-a-mancy buff to make them sixteen-stacks gave them a +8 bonus to those. Their equipment provided 3 more. Tanyas in-hex chief warlord leadership was currently 3, doubled by the dittomancy of her tiara. They were led by level five warlords, providing another +5. This meant that her knights attacked and defended at a whopping 28. The enemy column was concentrated into as few hexes as possible, but also distributed, keeping gaps between the hexes. Tanya surmised that the goal of the strategy was to invite attack, allowing them to crush the enemy in a counterattack, as the gaps were small enough to make it simple for multiple hexes to collapse on any attacker, but large enough to make it more challenging for a single force to engage more than two hexes in a turn. The enemy stacks were reasonably powerful. The fifty stacks of infantry attacked at 8-11, depending on type and level, due to the +3 side-wide chief warlord bonus they enjoyed. The uncroaked infantry, thirty stacks of much higher quality than the mass-uncroaking that Wanda used during the battle of Gobwin Knob, also benefitted from a duplicate croakamancers in-hex bonus of four. Unlike other kinds of caster-created units, uncroaked could level. That duplicate had their own stack of knights along with a level four uncroaked warlord, which meant they had a minimum of 23 combat and defense. Actually dangerous, in other words. They were further supplemented by five stacks of beagles, the white dog-like flying units only fit as a speed bump, and to prevent certain low-effort tactics. The last facet of the hex was the two stacks of minertaurs and single stack of archery knights mounted on drama llamas, all led by warlords leveled four to seven. The key to success here was her own stack, the dwagon stack. Their bases were much lower, due to the lack of date-a-mancy and dollamancy augments, but they benefitted from her full leadership bonus, which given that her in-hex bonus stacked with it, after the doubling it totaled +18. This amounted to her stacks attacks being only slightly stronger than her knights, only by one or two points. When you were fliers facing non-fliers, there wasnt a whole lot, beyond archery, that the ground forces could do to stop you from engaging the most valuable enemy stack, and the angle of attack affected how many screeners could be used. With some dwagon breath aided by a shockamancy spell, the croakamancer dupes entire stack, along with the stack of beagles screening, was quickly reduced to dust. While she did that, the shockamancy spears came into play, allowing her troops to get a few attacks off before they engage in melee. They used these attacks to whittle down the archer knights and the minertaurs, which Tanya took advantage of by using the pink dwagons bubblegum breath weapon to capture the knights for turning. With the loot dealt with, they settled into the final order of battle: Tanya led the dwagons into fighting the uncroaked, White engaged the mass infantry, and the other two handled one minertaur stack each before engaging the infantry. When all was said and done DING! Tanya announced as a euphoric feeling overtook her. She knew that she had gained a fair amount of experience, so she was bound to be close to a level, but after the first engagement? Exquisite. Elya stumbled down off of Latex the dwagon, panting in exertion. Flying and shooting is harder than it looks. She wheezed. As she caught her breath, she patted herself down, checking her gear to confirm it was all still secure, a sign of military discipline that Tanya found pleasing. Do you want to recharge my shockamancy wand now or wait until later? Pass it over. Tanya said, and she pulled out one of the gems on her own wand, showing that it was a charging cord. She connected the two wands, and her Analysis indicated that the transfer of juice was successful. Taking one of her other wands, a dirtamancy one, Elya cleared out the bubblegum from the prisoners, manacles instantly appearing in place of the sticky stuff. Okay, give me some time to work. We have just enough units captured that we can barely fit them on the dwagons. The necessity of such being the primary reason Tanya focused on the knight stack to capture. Meanwhile, Tanya focused on moneymancy. While they didnt really need the shmuckers, it also allowed them to clear out the bodies so that Boomstick Showdown cant uncroak the bodies they leave behind. As the uncroaked leave behind equipment but not bodies that can be eaten by dwagons, Tanya then used the less efficient spell to turn those into shmuckers instead. More importantly than denying the croakamancer, having a large lump sum from emptying the mine doesnt mean that they could sustain that kind of cash long term, so eking every shmucker they can was just good sense. After she was done, she checked the numbers of her troops. Very few had unbroken barriers, and none were completely uninjured, but only one was nonlethally incapacitated, the one that oddly was also named Tanya, Tanya Nin. Kurig, what is the meaning of this? She asked. ! Poor luck, Princess. William von Kurig immediately responded. He suffered a bad hit when he disengaged. Okay, that was rather improbable. Assuming he was being truthful and not concealing his poor performance as a commander. Tanya huffed, before drawing the healomancy wand that Sizemore bought with his shopping spree in the Magic Kingdom. Bad Potato, Max Tomato. She intoned, using the magic words of the wand to heal the man just enough to get on his feet. Then she charged the ordinary wand with her artifact wand, as she didnt anticipate a need to use shockamancy any more today. She glanced back to Elya, who was smiling widely as she whispered into the ear of one of the archer knights, who had an interesting expression. What on earth was she saying to them? Given the intensity of the blush the archer knight had, Tanya couldnt dismiss the possibility that she was being given the salacious details of Elyas last night in Gobwin Knob. The caster was quite promiscuous, and seemed to delight in embarrassing anyone who took umbrage with her off-turn habits. Well, as long as she could turn the knight to the other team, it doesnt really matter how Elya gets there. Tanya paused and replayed that last sentence in her head, before feeling her own face heat up at the accidental double entendre. No, that was definitely not what was happening. In the end, Elya managed to turn the whole stack plus the warlord with only one juice refill, and she didnt even need the whole thing; she also leveled up to three between that and the few croaks she managed with the shockamancy wand, although whatever insight into her discipline she got by turning enemy units, it was insufficient to raise her to adept. There were also a few dozen infantry that were imprisoned via pink dwagon gum, but they couldnt carry them back so they were executed instead by Visha, who did not level unfortunately. The drama llamas were harvested for rations, and those executed units were eaten by the dwagons. With the battlefield completely clear of bodies, Tanya ordered the return to the planned base camp hex. --------------------------- Thats a lot of magic youve brought wit ya. Bill-Bob commented at the morning meal the next day. Are you even going to turn a profit, here? Tanya swallowed her mouthful of rice and miso soup, pleased that the coin flip that was her breakfast came up Japanese today. Shes eaten Imperial breakfasts for the last three turns. You let me worry about that. Tanya said dismissively. The most important thing this expedition can grant my side is levels. Thus the overwhelming force. Ill just win a few battles, cripple their ability to do anything but hole up in their cities, and thats when Jetstone and your forces start cracking them open like shellfish. Tanya continued eating, pausing after a few more bites. The most important thing in a war, rather than a battle, is Move. Rightshoring has many troops, dangerous ones, and many force multipliers, but they lack mobility. I can engage their forces at will, and as long as your armies provide me a safe base camp, which I would ordinarily need to provide myself out of our own heavies and infantry, that will continue to be true no matter how they position their troops. If she didnt have such a base camp, shed be constrained in how she was positioned. Bill-Bob snorted. Yeah, Im sure our Lookamancy and scouts help too. It certainly is appreciated. Tanya said sincerely, diplomatically not mentioning how shed have just brought extra, lower level, recon knights if they needed extra scouting. My point is that I fully intend to take the bulk of the fighting in the field. Just focus on scouting and advancing towards... Tanya paused, -what was the name of the city we are marching on? Offshoring. One of Jetstones warlords, a Lady Athena, offered. Well be able to attack in seven more turns of steady advance. Tanya snorted at the name of the city. Elya, who was enjoying her bratwurst, suddenly startled. The barbarian turn is over. She seemed confused. Turnamancers could detect the progress of turns with much greater sensitivity and precision than non-turnamancers. Oh, Rightshortings turn. Tanya said, quickly finishing her food and sending out orders to organize for the enemy turn. Turn transitions that did not involve your side were detectable, but they were easy to miss if you were distracted. No Elya said, Its actually Charlescomms turn. Tanya paled at the news. Turn order was natural predictamancy. If they could perceive Charlescomms turn as a distinct phase in the day, that meant that the side was not only within the battlespace, but that they were predestined to interact with them. Sure, she was supposed to get notified in advance if Charlescomm ever got a contract to attack Yojo Mojo or their territory but when she was afield like this, that didnt mean squat unless he was hired to attack her or her forces specifically. Contracts against other members of the Royal Crown Coalition werent restricted, nor were defensive contracts. On the plus side, Tanya also didnt have to avoid hurting any Archons. That prohibition only applied within Yojo Mojo or Charlescomms territory. But seeing as how Charlescomm represents one of the greatest threats to her forces, that was a cold comfort. ...Charlecomms turn was folded into Rightshorings. Elya announced, They have allied. Ossomer read a note that was passed from one of the scouts, who presumably received it from one of the warlords assigned to scout coordination. Sixteen archons were spotted in an overflight by one of the Ranger sentries. He announced. Bill-Bob nodded smugly. Tanya relaxed. Okay, that explained the turn perception. The predictamancy went per hex, so the scouting report received by the HobbitTM warlord assigned to watching the scouts was sufficient to perceive Charlescomms turn. Still, sixteen archons was a lot. Please inform Lord Tears that foolamancy is expected among the enemy. Tanya suggested to Bill-Bob. Yeah, I better. The exceptionally short redneck said, taking a piece of paper out and starting to write. Now, they wait. Chapter 19 Rightshorings turn was uneventful, a single Rangers veil getting spotted and subsequently croaking being the only action. HobbitTMs lookamancer, Allen Tears, provided them a map that was a little smaller, although it still seemed to catch the whole army, comparing the numbers from the previous turn. More importantly, it included the location of the sixteen archons. For now, they were in the hex that held Rightshorings Chief Warlord, Jerry Mander, veiled as additional Beagles. This complicates matters. Admitted Tanya as she looked over the map. Did they only duplicate Boomstick once? They repositioned so that their uncroaked were in two hexes What did Whiz do with the rest of his juice? I would likely need to be conservative with my assault. Or maybe Hrm. That mountain hex is out of the way Archons were terrifying foes, able to easily dispatch most forces of lesser strength just on the strength of their shockamancy, and their foolamancy tricks allowed them plenty of time to whittle down more even matchups. If they brought a dancefighter with leadership Huh. Actually, her own combat capabilities matched up to an archon pretty well. She couldnt cast thinkamancy or dollamancy, but they didnt use that in combat. Not important. Tanya started counting hexes, plotting out her moves. Ossomer, what is the move of the unipegataurs again? At base? He asked. Tanya gave a slight nod. A level one unipegataur has thirty three move, with thirty-four at two and thirty-six at three. We can muster a single led stack of level three and higher unipegataurs, and an additional led stack of level twos. We have twenty-five more on top of that. Hm, minimum move for a non-heavy flying mount. Not usable for the distances involved here. That figr includes the ones we brought. Bill-Bob added, an you cant have all of em. With the right unit mixes, I can tilt their moves to a higher average. Elya mentioned. That reminds me. Tanya mentioned, realizing that she had forgotten, I need the intelligence our new units have provided about their former side. They didnt know much. Elya prefaced, But they did know how many casters Rightshoring has: In addition to Whiz, Boomstick, and the florist, whose name is Harold, they have a captured Changemancer from Leftovers, Gang Greenham. Tanya wasnt terribly familiar with what Changemancy could do, beyond magic items that arent equipped, like the foolamancy campfires and the cookpots in the magic kingdom. Well, that and the transformation of raw food in the larders into cooked food at the table at meal times was natural changemancy. Cooking in general was changemancy, in fact. But that was Tanyas full understanding of the Fate axis of Stuffamancy. Elya continued. The only other useful intel they have is that the old natural allies of Leftovers are still causing problems in Leftovers old territory as of three turns ago. Tanya raised an eyebrow. Oh? What are these allies? she asked, interested. Jojos. Ossomer immediately responded. They have offensive specials, and are good in multiple difficult terrains. Now that sounded useful. Hm, Natural allies were a great way to turn shmcukers into strength. With an allied tribe, they could afford to spend their massive wealth on city upgrades without making them overly vulnerable, which would eventually come back to them in return on that investment. I think we could benefit from meeting these Jojos. Tanya said, Perhaps a little bit of coordination, perhaps more. she waved a hand vaguely As you are aware, none of the elf tribes elected to join Yojo Mojo. The rhyme also appealed signamantically. If Gobwins got a loyalty bonus from having the side named after them, perhaps it would work here too? Then again, that didn''t save King Saline Yeah, they take it personally when ya croak em. Bill-Bob said simply. Takin'' out them Luckless, Shady, and Schlemiel elves did you no favors. The Shady elves brought archers, and only coincidentally got wiped out with the dwagon attacks. But yes, they were not willing to ally with a Chief warlord that had croaked so many elves. So you can see why I might wish to recruit an orphaned natural ally tribe. Tanya replied, Assuming that an agreement can be reached. She was fairly confident, unless there was some factional conflict with her allies, like the elves had with the Gobwins. Its a good idea. Ossomer ruled, Now, we need to determine how youd go about doing that. Tanya turned towards Elya. Does our new Warlord know where the Jojos were? Or perhaps ever met the chief? At least know his name? Elya raised her eyebrow. Maybe? Why? Tanya put her hand to her temple, and called Maggie. Communications were the primary duty of thinkamancers, the linking thing was more of a secondary capability. --------------------------- I, Mojo the Jojo, am telling you, elucidating, explaining our condition. As it turned out, the name of the Chief Jojo was Mojo, which was an amusing coincidence. Perhaps it was Fate. Us, our tribe, the Jojos, would never converse, negotiate, or parley without a direct meeting, face to face, in person. He had an odd manner of speaking, but it was a reasonable demand. Tanya brought up their best knowledge of Rightshoring and Leftovers geography, Maggie complying with their silent order to convey it to the other party. There were advantages to having a master-class thinkamancer use thinkagrams. An in person meeting would be agreeable. Lets arrange one. Mojo the Jojo saw her action and immediately did the same, providing his own navigational understanding. The south part of the map expanded significantly, showing every one of Rightshorings twenty-six cities. He was a smart one. The columns position was marked on the map between them in the thinkagram, and Mojo the Jojo highlighted a small region of jungles with heavy incidences of hills and mountains among them. Lets see, the distance between us and Offshoring, which is there, is twenty-six hexes at start of turn, so youre Tanya squinted as she tried to calculate things. One hundred and fifty-ish hexes away. So about three turns of movement. Your enemy, your foe, your target and ours are one in the same, identical, they coincide. Mojo the Jojo said boldly. A route was illuminated, sending the tribe northward between Rightshoring and Haggar, which had a small mountain range separating the two. Here there is a city, a border outpost, an opportunity to wreak havoc on the abhorrent Rightshoring. A city got highlighted, noting that it was level two, Rightways. We will be in position to strike within five turns. Contact me, Mojo the Jojo, every turn so that we may plan, conspire, and devise further stratagems. I will. Tanya promised. Break. --------------------------- Tanya approached the hex that assuredly had the fake croakamancer. It was weaker, and more importantly didnt have Archons protecting it. What it did have was the florist, perhaps as bait. From her position at the hex border, Tanya studied the unit composition. Two hundred and fifty-ish infantry in a troupe with a dance-fighting warlord, thirty-five more stacks of uncroaked infantry, another stack of uncroaked knights and an uncroaked warlord with the dupe of Boomstick, another led stack of archer knights on drama llamas, an uncroaked warlord leading a stack of Minertaurs, and the florist leading a stack of humanoid plant units, which Analysis conned at advanced infantry class archer units, called Zombeans. Finally, there were six stacks of Beagles to tie up everyone in dogfights while the archery gets hits in. Elya? She asked. Yes, Princess? Elya responded, Latex floating closer. Use the scroll I penned last turn immediately. She ordered, target the dupe. She looked towards Visha, who was magically paired with the green dwagon. She settled herself onto King Bomber, spending a few drops of juice to gain a favorable stack bonus. Finally, she looked over the hex and her forces, and spent even more juice. What are her odds of victory? Mathamancy was an interesting thing to cast. Simple things gave her a distinct impression of just entering a simple set of numbers on a calculator in quick succession. But more complex outcomes could still be calculated, even things with incomplete information. As she focused on keeping all of the variables in her head, she was mentally prompted by the spell to spend additional juice to fill in unknown variables. The more information she could provide, the less she had to spend. In this case? There were a lot of unknowns. Fortunately, she learned of those variables as they were divined by her magic. Her perception of the relevant matchups looked a little like this: L7MCrk, L5UWL, +3x2 CWL, UKnx8al3, 30/30/70 D10M L2NFlo, L6WL, +3x2 CWL, PAix8al1, 20/20/89 D4A L5DFWL, +3x2CWL, Inx240al3, DF3/13/13/1696 d4M L4WL, +3x2CWL, Knx8al2, 22/19/108 D10A, AiMx9al1 17/14/81 D6A L4UWL, +3x2CWL, HKnx8al2, 23/23/271 D12MD UInx8al3x35, +3x2CWL, 14/14/32(1120) D4M Aix8x6al1, +3x2CWL, 13/13/48(288) d6M Lvl7x2WL(lvl5WL), lvl3NTu, +4x2CWL, AHvyx9al4, 33/34/540B3 D16M/BW L6WL, +4x2CWL, Knx16al4, 33/33/154B17 D10M/A4 L5WL, +4x2CWL, Knx16al3, 31/31/153B17 D10M/A3 L5WL, +4x2CWL, Knx16al3, 31/31/153B17 D10M/A3 Ah, thats why there are only two Boomsticks this turn. Whiz doubled Jerry Manders warlord bonus so her own bonus wouldnt outperform it immensely. Granted, it meant that the croakamancer duplicate wasnt as meaningful of a bonus provider for their uncroaked, as those bonuses dont stack, but it applies to all sorts of things this way like those Archons. Oh, and those uncroaked Tanya ran the numbers using a few battle plans, dedicating a whole caster level of juice to optimizing this calculation. Eventually, she managed to get a plan that had a notably higher chance of success. Contacting Maggie, she left instructions to relay that intelligence to Ossomer. That done, she explained the plan to the warlords and entered the enemy hex. As quickly as she could, she pointed her wand at Harold. Rear Line Duty! Harold, the Florist, shouted the instant her stack entered the hex. So thats why that plan had such a large increase in success chance Tanya felt her and King Bomber leave the stack, her mathamancy sense of the battle instantly updating the dwagon stack with nine less leadership. Not good. At least that stack had a backup Tanya had made an effort to understand most magical disciplines, or at least the tactical considerations of them. Sizemores knowledge of Flower Power was fairly large, so she knew what to expect from a magically enforced time out. She could not engage targets, which included making ranged attacks, and could not stack up with other units. A notable exception were mounts, you couldnt force someone to fall out of the sky with flower power, so she was still stacked with King Bomber. Although she brought him with her in her unstacking, he was not pacified by the Florist, so he could still fight. Specifically, he could now bombard targets with his battlecrap at her direction. Another important consideration was that Tanya also could not be attacked by others while so pacified, and the florist could not magically end the curse early. So in return for locking Tanya out from lending her full bonus to a stack, it was now impossible for them to remove her hex-wide bonus from the board. This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there. As Tanya repositioned after her failed casting, Elya didnt miss a beat as she haltingly pronounced the Japanese magic words of the scroll. Binding Heart Chain Flash! An arc of electricity shot out, severely weakening and croaking about half of the Beagle stack that were screening the croakamancer dupe, as well as a few hits on the duplicates stack. It would have been better if Elya benefitted from Tanyas leadership, but it is what it is. The red, green, and purple dwagons each unleashed their breath weapons, further attritioning the lead stack and finishing off the last of the dupes screens, allowing Vishas single shot to croak the caster, which poofed as expected. Huh, she thought that her bonus would be needed to get him that fast. Must have been some good rolls. The one Beagle stack that wasnt tasked with screening attempted to stop the heavies, but the dwagons still had an eleven bonus lead so the pinks alone croaked them in melee, barely slowed down. The dwagons also absorbed the fire from the archer knight stack, which while effective, was woefully inadequate anti-air for their attacks. The other stacks all fired their not-rifles at their own targets, unusually accurate fire taking out the dancefighting warlord before he could get going and taking out the uncroaked warlord leading the Minertaurs as well as their Beagle screens. Hm, the minertaurs werent screening their leadership, that wasnt smart of them. Was it an oversight of command? Still, it was time for her part of the plan. King Bomber? Lets dance. She said, before clearing her throat. Each hex border suddenly manifested a giant screen, with Tanya standing on her yellow stage, holding her wand like a microphone. At least, thats what the foolamancy projections she used looked like. On each screen, arrows started to rise up the screen. Her voice reverberated throughout the screen as she drew from her juice to turn her mental music into real one. You can dance if you want to, She began. You can leave your side behind, because your side doesnt dance, and if you dont dance, well, youre no knights of mine! Her knights continued to more or less ignore the infantry in favor of shooting their ranged attacks at the more dangerous stacks, each of them bobbing up and down in the air along to the beat. Say, we can go where we want to, a place that theyll never find, and we can act like we come from out of this Erf, and leave this wargame far behind! She decided that she liked this song. And then we can dance! To punctuate the statement, King Bomber fired a shot at one of the minertaurs, croaking it and finally leveling to six. Stanleys favorite dwagon was probably level seven by now, though. Assuming he still had it that super-uncroak can resurrect heavies, they knew that from Trannsylvitos intelligence. The extra bonus from the rhyme-o-mancy was diminished from the indirect projection via foolamancy, but it still was Rocking Out, and thus it was all bonus, no penalties by replacing the stack bonus. With the extra date-a-mancy bonus, doing otherwise wasnt an option if she wanted them to actually get stronger from her singing. Quickly enough, the fight was over, and the unexpectedly lucky opening moves quickly snowballed into total victory. So what exactly did you intend to accomplish with that? Tanya asked Harold, who had used his flower power on himself after he got hurt but before he croaked. His spell had worn off, but her own was still in place. He was captured, of course. How did you defeat us all so easily? He asked instead of answering. You must have gotten ten crits in that first volley alone! It was actually thirteen, and it was definitely odd. That was startlingly close to one quarter of the attacks critting. Im asking the questions here. Tanya retorted, -and if you notice, you answered your own question. She glared down at him. Now answer mine. Luckamancy Harold said darkly. Oh, HobbitTM had a luckamancer, didnt they? Sammy Gambler the wiseguy? That was an unexpectedly helpful move on their part if it was. She remembered him because he was apparently a former Transylvitan unit, although she didnt recall why HobbitTM had him. Ossomer probably ordered Bill-Bob to toss some luckamancy her way, as the primary action for the turn. What was the plan? Tanya reiterated. Princess, leave this to me. Elya said, sneaking up on Tanya from behind and hugging her. Tanya realized that she was actually taller than the caster, slightly. Her new height from the extra year of age she got with her level up put her otherwise disappointing height above the native Elya, who was exceptionally short by the standards of her first two lives, but average-sized in this place. You should go debrief our new units. She finished turning them already? She works fast Tanya glared down at the florist, trembling on his knees. I leave him to you. She eventually said, muttering the magic words and jabbing Elya with her wand on her way. Friendship unity magic. She probably only needs one more caster level of juice, if that. Just to be safe. After her newly turned knights and warlady formally swore fealty to her, Tanya started cleaning up the hex by both healing the nine or so incapacitated knights of hers (none injured beyond the reach of her expensive healomancy wand though, thank the dice) and cashing in the meat and equipment, 100 shmuckers for the llamas, 50 for the beagles and knights, 10 for most of the infantry, 300 for the minertaurs, plus 20 for the uncroakeds equipment at half efficiency, with an extra eighth per additional level for non-commanders. Total acquisition: about seventeen and a half thousand shmuckers for five caster levels and change, depleting most of what was left of her fourteen such levels after topping off her healomancy wand. That foolamancy augmented dance-fighting was difficult and expensive, although worth it given that it was something she could do while being otherwise unable to assist due to the flower power. She couldnt even top off Elyas wands this turn, shell have to wait until tomorrow. Given her own forces total upkeep of twelve and a half thousand, it was a decent amount, although when weighed against the expense of their equipment, perhaps not so much. Still, her distinctly not leading the stacks meant that the lions share of the experience went to her subordinates, and given how many of them leveled from the engagement, this was good news. Congratulations, Visha. Tanya said sincerely. It was a little surprising that Visha had leveled so quickly, but Tanya had been reserving the executions for her subordinate, so it just meant they were working. You as well, Newsman, Kurig. All of her knight-commanders were level six now, excellent progress. Even if her total lack of levels on the low level warlords she brought grated a bit, there just hasnt been an opportunity yet. Thank you, Tanya. Visha said, smiling despite the injury that she had sustained, a sword chop that had cleaved all the way to bone, the halfway through cut in her collarbone visible to the naked eye. It was a little weird that Erf units didnt really feel pain in the normal way that Tanya understood it, it was a fairly tame injury by the standards of what Tanya had seen since being summoned here. I was so scared when you unstacked, but remembered the plan and fought as hard as I could. Good job. Tanya said, causing her subordinate to smile even wider. Now, is there anyone deserving of a commendation? It was a little motivational thing she implemented among most of the side. Stack commanders could recommend one of their subordinates for a commendation, even if theyre largely worthless and indicative more of luck more than anything else, Tanya saw no reason not to implement morale boosting tactics. Even the courtiers got in on it, although their rewards were not in the form of little do-nothing medals that Tanya had Ace make, but instead little plaques that Sizemore made. A little bit like an employee of the month award. Ah, Thesus croaked two of the Minertaurs and leveled to five. Newsman reported. Tanya took a note for the ceremony. Soarin von Gratz leveled to five as well. White added, He was the one to croak the dancefighting warlord with a crit. Tanya made another note. If she ever needs to promote an extra warlord, Soarin was on the shortlist. Yeah, Ansom would only approve of promoting Nobles to warlord, but that still left five more candidates in her current stacks, and ten more back home. The probability of popping a Noble Knight depended on the level of the city, from one in twenty for a level two to one in five for a level five. Any others? Tanya asked, giving Kurig a pointed look. The warlord shrugged. I guess von Derbar managed to dust the most uncroaked, he leveled to four. Tanya checked his stack over. Yeah, same number of level fives as there was before: two. ...I suppose your part in the plan was not particularly glorious. Tanya admitted, Ill make sure to dress it up in the ceremony. What turn of phrase would be best? Unflinching execution of his duties? Unwavering dedication to battle? Shell think of something. Anyone else? South von Pecker was the one who actually dusted the uncroaked warlord leading the Minertaurs. Newsman said. Tanya added him to the list. Wait, wasnt he one of the incapacitated ones? Hes still level three though. He got double teamed and was just boned. ...I think Ill still commend him. Tanya decided. --------------------------- After Elya finally turned the florist, he has revealed his information: they were not aware of Yojo Mojo having brought a turnamancer, instead thinking that the unknown caster that was using scrolls and wands in the sight of the duplicate, which apparently sent information back to the original like a scout, was the moneymancer that was dealing with the bodies. Not even Overlord Showdowns dumb enough to use a caster as bait against a turnamancer. Harold said angrily. Apparently, his turning was made easier by the fact that they used him to bait the trap. No matter how many archons he has ready. Granted, their plan was to rescue the captured caster, but there was one small issue with their plan: sure, there was nowhere within their remaining 29 move that they could move to without Charlie''s archons being able to pursue but that was a rather large area to search. And the plan didn''t include a hired Findamancer. Or rather, the plan as the bait understood it didn''t include that. Hm. Tanya sent Maggie some orders via note. How did Rightshoring intend on locating us? Tanya asked. Theres an awful lot of area to check. They have a lookamancer contact, already contracted him last I heard. Harold replied. Lookamancer? Tanya asked, curious. Not Findamancer? Have you ever tried to get a Findamancer to locate a group of hiding units? Harold asked. Cant say that I have. Tanya replied, But Haggar has one, and they seemed quite capable of locating stray scouts. Even when they tried to hide. Right, thats a sided one. Findamancers need to travel in order to work their magic accurately enough for it to be worth hiring them. Harold explained, seeming rather proud of himself for knowing something Tanya didnt. At least, when youre dealing with fliers. They track where youve been, they dont see where you are. That means hazard pay for wartime service. But the advantage is that theyre better at locating units than Lookamancers. Tanya finished. Dowsing rather than searching. She took off her tiara and sent Maggie the note. Mostly. The big thing is they ignore foolamancy, which lookamancers dont. They arent completely beaten by foolamancers, but they have to spend extra juice to do it. He chuckled, That was some cool foolamancy you had in the battle to get around my flower power, do you have more? Tanya smiled. If their intel was from the duplicate, it didnt survive long enough to see her use it. As a matter of fact, I do. She said, plugging her artifact wand back into the healomancy one. Prism Capture Crystal. She murmured in Japanese to reverse the polarity of the transfer. After the disconnect, she said the phrase to discharge the juice into her own reserves very quietly. Magical Show Repeat No Healomancy wand for any followup, but everyone was hurt enough that the scrolls would be needed if so. Theyre more high-powered. I think I know what I want Ace to make for my under-armor. Tanya said as she re-sized her wand and put it in one of the tiny pockets her magical girl dress came with, which immediately went to her left pocket in the underlying uniform. Something with magical storage space. Would she still be able to access it like she could the pockets on her military uniform-like outfit? I want to carry a cabinets worth of scrolls with me. Ill send a missive immediately. Visha said, pulling out her notepad from one of her own pockets. Thank you, Vi- Tanyas tiara rumbled, and she took it off and shook it, causing a parchment to fall into her waiting hand. Ah, Maggies reply. She opened up the document and, reading through the thick legalese, grinned. Okay, I have the plan: Harold, Visha, and the dwagons go back to the column with Elya. I know you dont have any juice, so just pretend to still be imprisoned during the enemys turn in case they attack. Tanya turned back to Visha. Youll be in charge if action occurs. You got it, Princess! Harold said, and with a focus on his heartstring, Tanya deemed the odds of him causing problems so quickly to be low. Elya did good work. Now, if she did the math right heh. --------------------------- The Jojos were largely a cross between chimpanzees and bodybuilders, with much less fur than one would expect but with overwrought muscles. Some other apes were used instead for individuals, but most were chimps. The base variety were advanced infantry with natural dittomancy, partially duplicating themselves by sprouting an upper torso out of their shoulders, as if they had a dupe standing inside their ribs. These Stand-ins allowed them to attack twice as often as normal, which was quite useful for the bonus-multiplying she usually used. Leading these guys in a dance fight would be extra lethal. Mojo the Jojo had green skin and dark green fur, with a large turban-like helmet over a purple toga-like garment. Greetings from I, Mojo the Jojo, on behalf of the Jojo tribes. Mojo the Jojo said as she set down fearlessly in front of him. Her knights settled behind her in ranks, each standing tall with military discipline. One of the many, many exceptions to the auto-engage rule non-commanders have to deal with was that unaffiliated natural allies didnt suffer it. They might attack you on sight anyway, but it wouldnt be because you sent a commander and they didnt. Most natural ally tribes didnt have any Leadership at all, in fact. Their Chiefs had no mechanical advantage over the rest of them. It would be very hard to establish alliances with them otherwise. I greet you in kind, as Chief Warlord of Yojo Mojo. Tanya began, formally. I represent King Ansom, direct descendent of Queen Lunesta, one of the original ninety-nine Crowns bestowed by the Titans. Who, as Tanya found out, looked like Sailor Moon, and wore silver earrings, although they didnt look like hers. The effects of that Signamancy scroll made perfect sense with that context. My name is Princess Tanya von Degurechaff, and this is my Rapid Response Aerial Knight Battalion. She needs to find a better name, something snappier. Maybe a number? Battalions had numbers, like the first battalion, or the fifth, or the two hundred and third. That sounded cool The Jojos, who had started forming into stacks of their own and forming behind the solitary Mojo, seemed adequately impressed by Ansoms pedigree and her battalion. Your words are polite, but I, Mojo the Jojo, will not be swayed by mere words, not by banter, nor with speeches. How about enough shmuckers to double your numbers on top of upkeep covered, just to start? Tanya offered as a lowball. She didnt know exactly how many shmuckers it cost to pop them, but it was usually ten times upkeep per unit, depending on the tribe, with a ratio capping how many could be popped at once. Natural allies had their own treasuries, and as an adept moneymancer, she chopped off two percent of that, potentially more if she spent juice. It wasnt nearly as efficient as converting corpses into shmuckers, but it was also a lot easier to come by for an ordinary moneymancer. Well, she also heard that the growth cap could also be bypassed via moneymancy, but she only had a vague idea on how to do that. Shell cross that hex when she gets to it. We, the Jojos, wish for nothing less than the humiliation of Rightshoring! To make them regret their attacks, bemoan their aggression, to lose the gains they sought to seize with their assault on Leftovers! Mojo the Jojo demanded. Suddenly, something big impacted the ground between the two forces. It was a Jojo Heavy Knight, who traded the Climber special for the Jumper special, which allowed them to act in many ways like a very slow flying unit. They also traded their Stand-ins for the Smash special, which made them much more effective when attacking multiple smaller units, and also doubled their damage if they attacked with a leap. Instead of Chimpanzees, this group was largely based on gorillas, although they still had more hairless musculature than a Mr. Universe contestant, before you started to count the muscles beneath the fur. This particular one was level eight, a truly terrifying number when it was attached to the words Heavy Knight. Like all of them, he had a human-like hairstyle, this one was blonde with two locks of hair standing up like antennae. He wore nothing but the furry underpants and a tie with the collar of a button up shirt. The tie was a novelty one whose colors made Tanya think of the American flag, even if the design was quite different. Hahaha! I am here! The heavy knight boomed, to the cheers of his fellows. I am Yogi the Mighty, the Champion of the Jojos! Stop! Mojo the Jojo replied, We agreed, we had planned, we swore to leave the alliance discussions, the negotiations, the setting of terms to me, Mojo the Jojo! We do not need your muscle-headed opinions on the matter! Come now, Mojo! Yogi boomed, I may not be a genius, but Im smarter than the average ape! He turned to the crowd. Isnt that right, Zuzu? One of the ordinary Jojos, one with messy green hair and freckles that wore a green bowtie, nodded enthusiastically. Thats right Yagi! Mojo was trying to get the side to commit to doing a lot of damage to Rightshoring, even if that may not be usable with the current diplomatic state of the war, given the parties involved and the ability of the Royal Crown Coalition to deal with things, accepting surrender could be the best possible thing if they risk getting attacked on another side, Yojo Mojos kind of distant, He started mumbling as he realized that he was talking too much, eventually ducking back into the crowd anxiously. Tanya blinked. That was the smartest non-commander Tanya had ever heard of. She made a mental note to speak with him later. While we still have enough move to get out of your way if negotiations break down, and a 90% chance to croak their non-led butts without suffering a single hit past barriers, I do still have some matters to handle before the turns end. So we should get down to brass tacks. Tanya said calmly. Yes, we shall! Yogi said, taking a seat on a rock, which was plentiful on this hilly hex. Just know that you must convince me, Mojo the Jojo, of the benefits of your cause. The advantages of aligning ourselves with you. Our incentives to cooperate. Tanya smiled widely. Now he was speaking her language. Chapter 20 With the alliance between Yojo Mojo and the Jojos made official and Tanya handling her last tasks for the turn, Tanya was brought to the meeting tent where the leaders of the tribe met to discuss matters. There was Mojo the Jojo, of course. As part of their custom, all four members of the meeting stacked together as they sat, with only those within that stack permitted to speak. [Mojo the Jojo, level 6 Jojo] Combat: 29 Defense: 28 Hits: 12 Move: 18 Specials: Climber, Stand-In With her current full bonus totaling 21, the stack bonus of two, the armor bonus of one that fancy turban of his granted Base stats at level one would be four and two. Upkeep was twenty-five, a mid-range advanced infantry. She expected higher, given the potency of that offensive special Im glad that we were able to come to an accord. She said pleasantly as she sipped at the odd milk-like drink they had served her. It reminded her of that muscle-building drink she got out of a vending machine by accident once when she was at the gym in her first life. Tanya looked subtly at the rippling musculature of the Jojos. Okay, makes sense. I, Mojo the Jojo, heard your terms of alliance and found them adequate. They were acceptable for our purposes. Fair and reasonable. Mojo the Jojo said, sipping at his own protein drink. It hasnt been long since the fall of Leftovers, but it will be good to not have to worry about upkeep. Yogi the Mighty added, grinning widely. [Yogi the Mighty, level 8 Heavy Jojo Knight] Combat: 35 Defense: 35 Hits: 36 Move: 28 Special: Heavy, Jump, Smash While Yogi was literally the only remaining Heavy Knight among the Jojos, the few that survived the fall of Leftovers croaking over time, they were still a terrifying force. After running the numbers, she had realized that they were actually slightly weaker than a standard heavy knight, who would have a single additional point of combat and defense, plus three more hits, at that level, but this was more than made up for by their high move, which was normally the weakness of heavy knights. At no additional cost, either. She liked them already. Your tribe brings strengths to our side that synergizes with our unit composition, both sides benefit from this alliance, the finest basis for cooperation that there can be. As long as we can make Rightshoring pay dearly. Said the last leader of the tribe. [Tang Churro, level 5 Jojo Knight] Combat: 33 Defense: 30 Hits: 13 Move: 12 Special: Knight, Climbing, Breathing Weapon (Water) The Jojo Knights were interesting. Instead of doubling their number of attacks with their Stand-in, they doubled their damage by breathing an elemental effect on their weapon, a shockamancy trick Tanya could do with her own weapon, as a spell. It made them excel at a knights usual combat role, carving up heavies, but even worse against a knights usual weakness, swarms of infantry. The knights trended towards being a different kind of ape in comparison to the Heavy Knights, but Tanya wasnt a taxonomist so she couldnt say which one for sure. She wanted to say gibbon? Thats a type of ape that isnt a gorilla or chimp. Tang in particular looked more like an orangutan, and when he demonstrated his special, the water generated was orange for some reason. He also carried around a wooden box on his back, an accessory that Analysis said was for transporting prisoners, although one could theoretically carry a smaller allied unit instead. Come now, said a high pitched voice from the box. Its not like Leftovers was such a great side, Tang. Tang kneeled, removing the box from his back and opening it. A tiny panda exited the box. Analysis conned it as a commander. What? Hello! Said the tiny unit. Am I a tamed beast? A golem? What matters is, I am me! Nozoo! The small panda was chewing on something that she had thought was bamboo, but Analysis said was sugarcane. They ate it by the side, like it was a cob of corn. Interesting Tanya said, not sure what else to say. Shes a tamed feral technically. Tang explained calmly. At least, originally. Yes, I was an experiment of Leftovers Chief Thinkamancer, along with their changemancer. Nozoo explained, still chewing on the sugarcane. Theo Suess and Gang Greenham made me, a humble Trash Panda, into a free-willed commander. I was appointed as, essentially, the courts fool. The Rat in the Hat, they called me. Nozoo sniffed dramatically. Im glad I burned that accursed thing. Well, welcome to the side, I suppose. Tanya said, Given your lackluster combat points and lack of Leadership bonuses, Im not sure how to assign you, but Ill think of something. She was basically a courtier. Well, her upkeep was only forty shmuckers, which was sort of cheap for a courtier, sort of expensive? Courtiers have collective upkeep when within their city, only one hundred shmuckers to have them per city. Economically, it was identical to popping a level 1 warlord and dedicating them purely towards managing the city. If you task a courtier outside their city by promoting them from garrison, like you would for a diplomatic envoy, their upkeep becomes twenty. Courtiers could theoretically lead units, but they were bad at it. This was usually just used to allow them a stack of bodyguards without running afoul of auto-engage. I am excellent at calculating battle odds. Nozoo boasted. She is. Tang agreed. Yogi nodded in agreement, but Mojo the Jojo scoffed. Level seven standard Knight versus a stack of four level one stabbers. Tanya immediately proposed before trying to solve the problem in her own head. Ten versus two plus two stack bonus, eighteen vs. six hits 26.25% chance four times, five hits on average almost croaks, verses 73.75% to hit, 50-80% chance to croak per hit Nozoo muttered as she calculated the probabilities. Coin flip, slightly favoring the knight. Yeah, that was as close to correct as Tanya could be sure of without spending juice. Tanya would guess that this talent was trained, manually learning the math involved to find some way of being useful for more than entertainment. Ill be handling the mathamancy for this war, but your talents have been noted. Perhaps Ace could make her an abacus or something to help her calculate things. The turns almost over, but be ready for a fight tomorrow morning. Tanya warned. Were expecting Archons. --------------------------- At dawn, Tanya assessed the Jojos before her. So, these are the ones you deem ready? She asked conversationally. Indeed! Shouted Yogi the Mighty. These are my best students: Zuzu, Scrappy Boom, Captain Sugarman, Fred Riot, Quick Run McGrunn, Lifter Rubble, and Tryhard Muttley. Each heavily muscled ape nodded seriously at their name, despite how ridiculous they all are. None of them were below level four. Good enough for me. Tanya declared. You are all hereby promoted to Heavy Knight. Normally, Tanya wouldnt be able to do this without the Chief of the natural ally tribe enabling it. The normal way was to give the tribe money, and he decided how it was spent. Most of the time, Chiefs were smart enough to just do whatever their ally asks, but sometimes you had unreasonable requests that threatened the tribe, or just chiefs who were willing to push the envelope for whatever reason. However, she did have his permission, and a working knowledge of moneymancy. She spent some juice sharpening her senses, attuning herself to the Numbers axis, focusing on the ethereal truth of the world. It was a form of self-foolamancy, as she understood it. Everyones brain had to make sense of the world around them, and casters could theoretically cast from all disciplines, so all possible caster senses were enabled with the caster special. Details that were not understood intuitively just slipped from ones perception, like a sound that was too quiet to register. Everything had a value, a worth. To her moneymancy-attuned senses, this number was a units size and importance. But there was more. Certain things had structures that permitted shmuckers to be spent, infused into them. Cities had this, except if they were level five. The Gowbin Knob Shock Exchange had one. Most importantly, units that could be promoted had one. It cost two hundred and fifty shmuckers to pop a natural ally. As an adept moneymancer, she could not only spend the treasury directly on this, she also shaved off two percent of it, five shmuckers. It cost five hundred to promote one to a Knight, and two thousand to Heavy Knight. Tanya called on the massive weight of Yojo Mojos treasury, pouring value into the units in front of her. As she did so, she channeled juice into the process, which filled the reservoirs in place of some of the shmuckers she would ordinarily have spent, turning into fresh and new shmuckers. You have to spend money to make money, after all. In this case it was utterly literal. Looks like she managed a twenty-three percent additional discount this time. 320 discount passively turned into 4000 for about four caster levels of juice, a little less. Shes probably not going to meet other casters this turn, she has juice to spare. Um.. Princess? Lord von White asked nervously. Newsman and Kurig were right behind him; this was clearly a concern they wished to express as a group. As Scrappy Boom and Fred Riot lightly boxed, with wide toothy grins as they enjoyed their new strength, Tanya figured she was done here for now. One moment: Yogi, your stack will be my protection detail when Charlecomm attacks. Stack up the instant enemies arrive if they do. Standing back is not how we do things. Yogi said scoldingly. Tanya grinned savagely. Who said I was going to stand back? You know how high my bonus is. Besides, she has a special surprise for archons who are foolish enough to target her with shockamancy. His attitude immediately flipped completely. Understood, Princess! That finished, Tanya turned to her subordinate warlords. Now, what is your concern? Lord von White glanced back at the others. Well, weve been trying to figure out how you could be so sure Charlescomms going to attack. What did Lady Matcher send you? Oh? Well, let it never be said that Tanya passed up an opportunity to educate her subordinates on potentially useful things. Its simple: Charlescomm is the most untrustworthy mercenary in the business. This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it. This seemed to confuse them more. And? Asked Lord von Newsman. The reason that he still gets business despite his untrustworthiness is because hes not untrustworthy because of any agenda. Charlie just likes money. This consistency, combined with his virtual monopoly on Archons, Charlescomm was not the only side that had them, but Tanya was pretty sure he popped more of them than every other side on Erf combined. -means that he is a very predictable enemy. Particularly when you hire a Signamancer to take a look at the contract your enemies have signed with him. It was a niche service, but Maggies note indicated that Sizemore insisted on it as a cheaper alternative to paying Charlie to reveal that information, which was her original idea. One of the rare occasions that he exerted his authority as Chief Caster. Tanya approved of the initiative. She had no idea that was possible. Lord von White seemed to grasp the situation faster than the others. So the contract says hes going to attack? If you read between the lines. Tanya replied, nodding. The archons were hired to counter-attack the Royal Crown Coalitions raiding force. They are not paying Charlie to find us, they are paying a Lookamancer. This is why we were able to avoid their notice by veiling, they did not expect us to be using foolamancy and so failed to focus enough to make their spot checks. Tanya smiled wider. Theyre also paying for a limited set of services. No scouting, coordination, on demand dollamancy nothing. Just combat power. With a very expensive penalty for losing Charlescomm units. Enemies! Shouted one of the Jojos, interrupting the lesson. She got to the most important points, fortunately. The exercising apes all stacked up, shouting. Tanya looked up at the sky, seeing nothing. Archons? Tanya asked, confused. No. Yogi the Mighty said, staring at the hex border. Juggle Elves. Well, they were enemies, so Tanya took to the sky after stacking up with Yogi and his other Heavy Knights. The Juggle Elves were, as noted, elves, but there was an odd detail that she noticed: while they all shared black and white clown makeup, they lacked the uniformity that other elf tribes that Tanya had seen had physically. She saw a few that she recognized, altruist elves, an eager elf, even a flying lofty elf. Most of them carried odd polearms that had magnets at the end. Still, the Jojos benefitted from her in-hex bonus of eight, so the elves were swiftly routed. Oddly, the shockamancy bolts from her knights seemed utterly ineffective. The ones that didnt just charge to their deaths waited at the hex border, and Tanya landed in front of them fearlessly, her stack of heavies behind her. Who are you? Whos in charge of you? She said to start the discussion. It was best to open with aggression in this kind of situation, to show no weakness. Were Juggles, man. said the fat Hungry Elf. If she recalled her limited lessons about elves correctly, they had a changemancy special they could use to transform unpalatable food like leaves and corpses into edible food. She just wishes those lessons covered Juggle Elves. Juggles and Jojos have been fighting each other for longer than any one of us have been around. Names Vanilla. I am Princess Tanya von Degurechaff, Chief Warlord of Yojo Mojo. Tanya announced formally. The Jojos have aligned with Yojo Mojo, and I will not tolerate any further aggression. Never heard of it. Vanilla said, not hiding his displeasure. Down with the Crown! Shouted one of the apparently anarchist elves behind him. Woodsy elves were very distinctive, tall and with massive ears. We are a new side, ruled by King Ansom of Jetstone. Tanya said, ignoring their calculated rudeness. On the far side of them. Vanillas dour expression softened a bit. So youre packing them up and taking them over there? Fine by us. He pointed to the bodies behind them. You gonna eat that? Ew. Tanya waved her wand and transformed the bodies into shmuckers. There were only four stacks of them, and elves werent any more edible than Men units, so it didnt take much juice at all. In the interests of you remaining a thorn in Haggars side, I will permit you to live. Leave us, and do not initiate any more hostilities, or my mercy will end. Also in the interests of not spending a bunch of move tracking the rest of them down. The failure of her knights to damage them was worrying She would want the Jojos to participate in any battles with them, and their move was a lot more limited than her own. Well, fine then. Groused Vanilla, before turning to the rest of his posse of crazy clown elves. We out! Ouphe Ouphe! Ouphe Ouphe! Shouted the other elves in acknowledgement of the orders? Tanya got the impression that she may have just seen something outright democratic. Was that a vote? With Recon, Tanyas vision was completely unclouded by the hex border, so she could see that several Juggle elves had to be dragged by their fellows, about a quarter to a third of them didn''t sound off, and they all looked displeased to leave. Turns changed. Lord von Kurig said a few minutes after the elves left the adjacent hex. She has tasked him to pay attention to it. Stack back up! Tanya shouted at the Jojos, who had relaxed at the Juggles retreat. Its Rightshorings turn! The hex they had camped in, all two hundred and sixty two units, was a lightly forested hill. Nicely defensible, but without the kind of protection that would come from a mountain or heavy forest hex. If Tanya saw an important enemy here, she''d immediately assume it was a trap. But if it was a heavily forested hill Bodyguard, Bertram, Revolving Door. She intoned, spending juice while focusing firmly on the view she wanted to convey. Foolamancy was Eyemancy, and that was not just words: the first thing a foolamancer must do is Look. What is real, what is seen, and what needs to be done to make the second not match up to the first without realizing. Jojos clung to tree branches and were concealed behind more, the fake branches making the forest canopy thicker than it should be. Each tree became three, the same trunks and branches making a series of simple triangles that stretched the landscape with gnarled roots. With these simple changes, the terrain type became a slightly different one, and her knights were plainly visible as they floated above the trees. Tanya stayed stacked in what she had made to appear like a clearing at the hill''s peak, sitting on the back of Yogi, who was veiled as a rock along with the rest of her stack of heavies, creating a pile of boulders that Tanya was sitting on to conduct normal business. She was in the middle of writing a letter to Ansom when she felt it. Concentrating on maintaining her foolamancy veil meant that she was hyper-sensitive to her foolamancy senses in comparison to normal. A natural-born foolamancer could see through other peoples eyes as easily as their own, but her trained perception was less capable without spending juice. Someone was looking at her illusion from above. In the mosaic of perspectives that her magic was revealing to her, there was one more than there was a second ago. Focusing on that single perspective, she could see the tell-tale grainy footage of a low-effort Lookamancy spell. After the sensor focused on her knights, the fidelity of the image sharpened, although it still was only as sharp as television. There was no chance of her veil failing to Fool it with only that level of effort to Look. Idly, Tanya calmly signed the bottom of the letter, as if it was finished, and folded it up before the sensor could attempt to read it. After a few seconds of sensing the barbarian Lookamancers focus shift to counting her troops, completely ignoring the ones hidden, the spell faded. She stood up, and scanned the skies. As expected, the attack came within seconds thanks to inter-hex time nonsense. From the looks of things, Charlie decided to go with two eight stacks for this assault instead of his usual triad formation. Several units got special stack bonuses in certain conditions, almost always giving a +3 bonus for an exact number that is either a lot larger or smaller than 8, Spidews got that bonus for having a 22 stack, and Archons got it for 3-stacks. Get ready to jump! On my mark! Tanya shouted, already casting Mathamancy to optimize their trajectories. When the archons entered the hex, they more or less immediately cast foolamancy to waste a few attacks. Unfortunately for them, being able to cast foolamancy made one very good at seeing through it. Tanya spent some juice to impart the precise trajectory calculations to her stack, and they burst out of the illusion, Tanya taking off along with them, directly at one of the two stacks of archons. Now, to be clear: Archons are incredibly deadly units. They fly out of reach, they use foolamancy to make ranged attacks very difficult to land, and their shockamancy firepower is sufficient to wipe out inferior forces without giving them a chance. Analysis put these Archons at a total level of fifty-one, an average of slightly higher than three and the equivalent of just a little less than thirteen caster levels of magical oomph. Further, one of the stacks had a magical bonus, an interesting little buff called Remote Command that gave that entire stack a +6 bonus, which given the name was definitely something Charlie was doing with the Arkendish. Combined with the nearby Chief Warlord bonus from Gerri Mander, the +2 and +3 leadership bonuses the leads of their stack had, and their own Dollamancy bonuses to attack and defense, she was looking at numbers that ranged from 20 to 30. Unfortunately for them, Archons were bad in stack combat for their price if you force them into melee, and that was exactly what Tanya did against them. With her massive combat bonus and guidance against the foolamancy, the Jojo Heavy Knights tore apart the first stack of archons in the first action. Flying heavies!? Shouted one of the archons in the other stack, panicking. We do not fly! Shouted Zuzu, the green-haired Jojo. But we do jump good! Shouted Yogi the Mighty, laughing. Smash! He shouted as they all impacted the hex border, which held firm. A very familiar Archons eyes glowed with the power that Charlies buff provided. NO! You witch! Mary Sue shouted as she launched a powerful shockamancy attack. Termination! The other archons in her stack launched a smaller but collectively larger volley of shockamancy towards her as well, taking advantage of her total lack of screeners. Prism Crystal Shield! Tanya shouted back in Japanese, brandishing her wand. The enemy''s shockamancy all gathered around the tip of her wand, and with a flick of her wrist, the combined attack all went down and impacted the clearing she was previously waiting in, grounding itself out. Hm, that ate a pretty large chunk of juice Unfortunately, her warlords also had bonuses against spot checks against foolamancy, an additional accessory that Tanya had given them over the normal knights. It was mostly because of Jack, Faqs foolamancer, but the fact that the same precaution helped against both of Yojo Mojos biggest threats was just a happy coincidence. So the fact that each archon got six shots from her knights meant that they were toast. Well almost. For some reason, Mary managed to survive long enough to scream in rage. Capture her! Tanya immediately ordered her Heavy Knights. Within the minute, Tanya was speaking with Charlie, who had ordered Mary to stand down and present his words to her, and Tanya released her from imprisonment to allow it. She still had her barrier, in the worst case. Oddly, Charlies first face was of something that Tanya instantly hated, a balding man with glasses wearing a military uniform that had a recognizably Soviet symbol on a medal. Sensing her distaste, he instead changed to something completely different, a yellow mouse-cat thing with wings. You win! Charlie said cheerfully. I must say, those were some interesting tricks you used in this battle. A terrain concealing foolamancy spell, and a protective shockamancy spell too. Your forces saw right through my archons foolamancy, too. Very impressive. Seeing it was almost worth seeing fifteen of my lovely ladies fall to the ground in pieces. His tone became much less jovial. Almost. And you managed to get yourself 184,000 schmuckers of death penalty out of Rightshorings treasury. Tanya deadpanned. Schmuckers that will no longer be going into my treasury. A bit of an exaggeration, but she was going to wring out a rather large share of the spoils for this one. And youre clever, too! Not everyone knows about that particular service of the Hippiemancers. Charlie said, continuing to compliment her. Now, my current ransom price for a captured Archon, which I will gladly pay, is nine thousand, two hundred three shmuckers. Huh, was there some reason hes using a prime number? How about it? Let her go, Ill order her right back home, call the contract with Rightshoring finished, youll get to keep all of those accessories, and we all come out richer. Tanya had to admit, he was a good salesman. He made it sound like he was magnanimously offering a lot, even if half of that were things that were happening even if she told him to shove it. Mary Sue is level seven, and her unbalanced spread of specials makes her an undoubtedly valuable specialist unit. I believe that calls for a substantially higher price than a standard ransom. Tanya argued. Charlies face was as stoic as a stuffed animal, his projected face making him difficult to read. Each of my Archons are valuable beyond measure. Charlie retorted, a touch of condescension coloring his voice. Was he taking the moral high ground? I couldn''t possibly favor one over the others like that. Then I suppose I''ll have to value the experience from executing her higher than your meager ransom. Tanya replied, reinforcing her threat with a toothy smile. On top of whatever intelligence I can extract, of course. The cute yellow winged rat frowned, attempting a disappointed expression. I thought we had a good thing going here. We leave each other alone, and we both make money. Do you really want to risk that? Yes, we have a business relationship. Tanya said in agreement. That means I have an incentive to maximize my profits. Nine thousand and change would be generous for a level one or two archon, but Mary Sue here? Dollamancy work alone puts the break even point within twenty turns. Dollamancy isn''t as easy to turn into profit as that, but point taken. Charlie replied, his expression once again as lifeless as a stuffed animal. Give me a counteroffer. It was a little interesting to see the sheer magnitude of Mary Sue''s love for Charlie. Her heartstring for her ruler was as the most solid and sturdy one she''s ever had the chance to examine. It was an obsessive level of love that made her own units loyalty look like they just liked her cute outfits. It wasn''t even entirely one-sided, Charlie did not lie when he claimed to love each of his archons. Or, at least, he held some small candle of affection for this particular archon. Triple it. Tanya said, to start. Also, buy back all of your Archon''s accessories at full value, and cash out the current store credit you owe me. it was only twelve thousand right now, but it was thrown in as something for him to argue down. Or I see if I can level again. To punctuate her statement, she turned on her wands energy blade. Those are some tough terms, Tanya. Can I call you Tanya? Charlie asked. Tanya hummed in wordless assent. I''m a very busy Overlord, and have no interest in haggling for long. Marys lips moved but she did not say anything, but Tanya noted that it included rule number by reading her lips, although she couldnt catch more than that. So I''m going to give you my final offer: triple, because Marys worth it, The archon beamed at the compliment. -the accessories for seventy percent, and nix the third thing. Tanya considered the offer. Mathematically, she gets 60% out of using moneymancy to turn it into schmuckers, if one accounts for opportunity cost. He didnt come down on the direct payment, which sounded like it was for morale reasons Deal. She said, turning off the energy blade and taking out some paper. After writing a very simple contract, she presented it to Charlies icon, the glittery pink ink showing her clean calligraphy. At first she was a little rough with her English writing, but then she discovered that the pen lets her make crisp and clean writing by just writing loop-de-loops while focusing on what she wanted to write, as if she was casting foolamancy to make fake letters. I had a contract ready, you know. Charlie groused. I know enough about signamancy to know that it operates on mutual intent, Charlie. Tanya said, unamused. The only reason anyone would need to go into as much detail as you do is to scam people. Which she already knew he did. Still, in the interests of getting this over with, Charlie duplicated the contract with whatever he used to enforce the signamancy, and after checking that it matched word-for-word with the one she wrote, Tanya Signed it, and Yojo Mojos treasury upticked by about sixty thousand schmuckers. A pleasure doing business with you. Tanya said with a smile. That makes one of us. Charlie said, his voice surly.At least Ill get to make well over twice that selling the information I have on you. Tanya laughed dryly. Go ahead. Yojo Mojos biggest threats already know everything important. Helping Faq is likely the last thing youd want to do, regardless. Charlie didnt respond, Marys thinkagram projection winking out without a word. Youre free to go. Tanya said, as the Jojos piled the accessories looted from the archons at the living ones feet. Youll pay for this. Mary promised as she brought out a portable net, one of the items that Charlescomm had in their catalog that was useful for both capturing units and carrying cargo. Come to think of it, she could stand to buy some with that store credit Tanya idly charged the healomancy wand as Mary flew away, one of the actions she can do off turn with her juice without an issue. Finally, she used Moneymancy to cash in the archons corpses for a few thousand shmuckers, and spent the last dregs of her juice discounting a few more promotions with their new money. The instant Mary left the adjacent hex, flying towards Charlescomm, their turn began again. The Jojos hooted and hollered as their new members popped into existence, and Tanya giggled as her juice surged back to fullness. What are they going to croak this turn? Chapter 21 The start of turn was handled like most: with a rapid exchange of missives between the relevant leadership units. Tanya informed them of the altercation with Charlescomm, the acquisition of the Jojos, and their intent to sack a city. Ossomers reply was a dry acknowledgement of the information, refraining from ordering her around. She was given full autonomy in the battle space, as without Charlie interfering there was little need for aerial defense roles. In addition, he mentioned that Overlord Epic had blustered Bill-Bob sent the scouting report from their Lookamancer, noting the enemy positions. Ansom informed her that everyone now knew she was secretly a caster. Wow, Charlie worked fast. He dressed it up as a dressing down, but Tanya just sent back a question. Does that mean I can travel the Magic Kingdom freely now? He did not respond. Still, there was some time to harass Rightshoring. Sure, she couldnt attack their leadership hex, odds of success were a mere 37%, and that was with casualties, not could she handle the secondary hex, with a duplicated Chief Warlord. Both hexes had pretty much all of their Beagles, too. Dealing with an enemy Chief Warlord with lots of air cover was not something her strategy was particularly effective against. But they still had enough forces that there were some hexes that didnt have Chief Warlords protecting them. Much like the RCC during the battle of Gobwin Knob, they had adapted to just soak her harassment of their forces, in the hope of making up for it when the column battle occurs, or by tempting her to stay overlong within their counterattack range. Foolish. Unlike in that other battle, shes not working on a clock. Taking out a small chunk of their forces and retreating was a winning proposition this time, not a losing one. Hm Maggie. Tanya said out loud, spend a drop of juice to pluck their mutual heartstring. Faster than normal, Maggie opened up a thinkagram. Get me an audience with Overlord Epic. Shortly, a man with short cropped hair, sizable musculature, and sunglasses appeared in her minds eye. He was eating what appeared to be some kind of woven bacon sandwich with donuts as buns, with a side of rainbow candy strips. What is it? It is Epic Meal Time, and I doubt this is more important than my gay bacon strips. Gay bac- nevermind, its just signamancy. Still, Muscles, Glasses Some kind of gymrat? Whatever. I am Tanya von Degurechaff, Chief Warlord of Yojo Mojo. The one that just sent Charlescomm packing while taking Tanya spent a bit of juice peering through the enemy ruler at his treasury. Moneymancy was so useful Thirty percent of your treasury? Actually, Rightshoring was pretty booping rich. Not drained a mine in one go rich, but still Should have paid him for more archons. She wouldnt have been nearly as able to deal with four or five stacks of archons. She could only take out one stack from total surprise, the rest had a chance to fight back, and her ability to counter their shockamancy can be out-muscled with that many archons. The matchups were good. Overlord Epic insisted. Even with Jetstones Dittomancer doubling your leadership, your units were flying knights, very weak to shockamancy. He wasnt even wrong. Onto the topic of repercussions, Tanya said, How much are you willing to pay me to go away and let Jetstone beat you on their own? Go eat salad, Overlord Epic immediately retorted. Were going to serve some bacon-wrapped whupped meat right down your face-hole! Tanya blinked as she attempted to understand that nonsensical combination of words. Was he even speaking Language? Well, the essence of the message was definitely telling her to go pound sand, so Well, the offer was made. Not that she had intended to accept whatever he did offer, but who knew? He might have offered enough to make her consider it. Break. With a quick double-check of the map, Tanya started issuing orders to her knights. Just because the Jojos are too slow to do anything productive today doesnt mean they cant do a little raiding, after all. --------------------------- Without specials, attacking a city is not impossible, but its also rather improbable. You had a certain amount of combat time to penetrate the outer defenses, or else you fail. Methods of penetration those defenses were many: digger and siege units can attack walls more favorably than units without those benefits, cities with developed tunnel systems can be attacked by non-heavy units, diggers can try to make tunnels in non-coastal cities without them, fliers can attack the airspace zone instead. Fliers dont necessarily have to attack the airspace. The statistics for walls are dependent on the statistics of the units atop the wall, and they lose hits when the wall takes damage. Similarly, you can easily break walls that have no units atop them. Well, higher level cities have hidden units that allow a minimum level of fortification even without any units on them, but theyre not difficult to overcome. Fliers can instead engage the units on top of the wall directly, weakening it to the minimum for any non-fliers to then break the wall easily. In the case of gate segments of the wall, once the last of the units are dealt with and you control the walls zone, you can just open it. Or you could just use Climber/Jumper/Flier units exclusively and just go over the wall once its clear of enemy units. This wasnt as big of a benefit as it seemed, as units atop the wall received a fortification bonus to their defense and a small amount of damage reduction, and you still had to fight through them, and overwhelming force didnt let you go past without croaking every single unit in the walls zone, whereas if you break the wall with siege fast enough, the remaining units on the wall couldnt interfere. But it wasnt anything that couldnt be overwhelmed by Tanyas leadership bonus. Rightways may have been the city that Mojo the Jojo had initially planned on invading with his forces to mark the start of their cooperation, but it wasnt the closest one. That distinction belonged to Trilateral, a city that had, before the conflict between Rightshoring and Leftovers, been a frequently contested city between all three sides that bordered it. It was level 3, and was significantly more heavily defended than Rightways was. As they approached, Tanya made sure to bolster the numbers of the Jojos as much as she could, as natural ally tribes could only grow their numbers so quickly. Jojos were among the slower ones, only able to grow by one fourth of their numbers per turn. They started with one hundred and eight units, so over the three turns they had to grow, which included a second purchase of units each turn due to Tanyas moneymancy, they only had 406 units to attack, which given that a typical level 3 city can support about six hundred garrison units, was not exactly a good matchup. Which was why Tanya called in the dwagons to help out, on top of promoting several stacks of heavy knights. While dwagons could only carry one combatant, you could double up one the saddles if the backup unit wasnt going to fight, and carry two more if you wanted to overload them and prevent them from being able to attack. With Elya bolstering the dwagons move, and an unexpectedly useful substitute for foolamancy from Harold, they were able to meet up with Tanyas forces without getting attacked en route. They brought along all of the low level warlords and both sets of turned archery knights and Rightshoring Warlords. Okay, so Ace has sent over a few Jumpers, so some of you will be wearing those and leading Heavy Knight stacks. Hat Magic was tremendously useful, and Ace was still good friends with Cubbins, Jetstones Hat Magician. Specifically, he sent four, which given that she had promoted five total stacks of heavy knights, was just enough if she led one too. As the accessories were a type of dress, the four level 1 warladies stepped up and put them on over their armor and hopped up and down to test the new special. Visha, youre leading Tang and his stack of knights. Really, Tanya thought that shed rather have twice as many regular Jojos, but she needed to keep at least one stack of the knights so as to fulfill her obligation to the tribe. Focus on attacking high durability targets, of course. Elya, pick one of the turned knight stacks to ride the dwagons with you, the other will stack with Harold. Tanya instructed, before double taking at Harold''s appearance. Harold, why do you have a tree on your head? It was a bonsai that was also a wooden crown, artfully rooted to his scalp to give the appearance of it growing out of his bald head and covering his right eye. Oh, thats Bob. Harold replied slowly, patting his head. He thought that ifn Im gonna be part of one of them royal sides, I should have myself a crown, cuz of my importance. Somehow that was even more offensive than how it made him even uglier. ...I no longer feel bad about asking this. Florists are capable of enchanting wood, correct? Mmm-hmm. Arrows are wood, correct? Tanya continued. I reckon so. Harold replied. So could you cast a spell that makes your stacks arrows more effective? Tanya continued. Sure thing! Harold said, giving a thumbs up. Do that, then. Tanya said, rubbing a temple as she turned towards the last four warlords. You four She turned to the mass of Jojos. Everyone whos level 2 or higher, come forward! She counted the takers. Hm, cant even get three stacks after all the promotions and theres no level 3s left She looked over her warlords. Which ones had the best signamancy? There was Erik von Jerkin, his red shirt seemed rather officer-like She decided that she liked this one. You get level twos. Who else Warlord von Curdle. You get the other level two stack. She waved dismissively at the other two. Warlords von Waldorf, von Grist, you two get level 1 stacks. Tanya checked over the stacks to see if she missed anything. Five led stacks of heavy knights, her knight stacks led by their usual commanders, the jojo knights by Visha, Four more led stacks that will hold back until the gate is secured, Elya with the dwagons and the turned stack of knight archers plus archer warlord, Harold with the other turned stack hanging back with the led Jojos, plus thirty-seven more stacks of unled Jojos to act as infantry. Yes, that was everything. This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it Forward! --------------------------- The first step in the plan was simple: shock and awe. There was a shockamancy spell that synergized amazingly with foolamancy, blinding a hex from the actions of an adjacent hex. This delayed any possible response. The second step was Elyas swagon stack unleashing a red/green breath combo on top of the wall, to weaken it along with a volley of shockamancy shots from the knight stacks. After that was finished resolving, all five stacks of heavy knights Smashed their way onto the top of the wall, the three attacks crushing fifteen stacks of infantry that were fortifying the wall. Finally, the purple dwagons unleashed their Siege breaths onto the gate which didnt quite break it. Boop. Tanya cursed as she looked at the tower top. There was a stack of archer knights on the balcony, led by a warlady that was yep, here comes the shockamancy from the tower. Looks like about five or six caster levels worth of it. Prism Crystal Shield. Tanya intoned in Japanese, attracting the bolts of power that rained down on the wall and redirecting it downward which actually damaged the wall. Neat. Wasnt efficient, but it was a nice bonus given that she had to spend enough juice to equal the effect in order to defend against it. As the heavy knights continued to pound on the units rushing to defend the gate or just stomping on the wall in an attempt to damage it, Tanya waited for a second round of shockamancy. None came. Tanya tried to use Analysis on the tower. [Symmetrical Tower, level 3] Charge: 0/1500 Defense platforms: 5/5 Hits: 150/150 Oh, neat. That worked. Knights! Take the tower! Tanya ordered. Split their focus! Orders given, all three stacks of her rapid response battalion went for the citys throat. A shuddering on the ground beneath them indicated a second volley of purple siege breath. Still? Tanya asked, annoyed. Analysis! [Gate Tri-curious, level 4] Defense: 20 Hits: 13 (2/160) Ah, it just got lucky. Sure Kill: Spear of Joy! Tanya shouted as she brought her lightsaber straight down onto the keystone of the gates arch. With her damage doubled and converted into sonic damage, which meant it counted as Siege, it finished off the last of the gates hits, falling open and locking out the zone from the units now stuck on the other wall sections. At least Elya will have something to turn. While they broke the gate, the enemy units formed up in a defensive posture behind it, ready to receive the invasion. At a glance, it was a pretty standard arrangement with heavies in front, archery in the rear, knights ready to flank, and infantry clogging up the battlefield to slow down anyone who wanted to pressure the important stacks. There were a large number of infantry going deeper into the city, presumably to engage her knights. The Jojos charged, Visha spearheading the charge as they hooted and hollered, using their arms to increase their running pace as their Stand-ins burst out of their backs, each one giving a dramatic pose for the occasion. The enemy archery got some hits in, but it was inconsequential, for the Heavy Knights instead leapt over the armies and landed amongst the archery, Smashing the stacks apart before they could do much damage. The regular knights breathed onto their swords, coating them with fire, orange water, buzzing insects, acidic mist, and various other styles of breath. Each resulted in the same: heavies carved up in just three hits instead of six or seven. There wasnt any more room for tactical maneuvers or fancy spells, just a brutal melee where casualties were the rule, not the exception. Even her own stack was no exception, Tryhards enthusiasm was commendable, but whoever said that the Titans favored the bold was either an idiot or a liar. Ah, the citys ours. Tanya declared happily. Good work everyone, gratz to all the levels. By the looks of things They lost three of the warlords, Freida von Fridge got croaked among the heavy leading ones, and both Waldorf and Grist lost their entire stacks as well as their own lives. The surviving level ones all leveled to three, though. The level 3 turned warlord leveled to four, but none of her flying warlords leveled. The dwagons didnt level up a lot, but the lowest level ones did reach 3 and King Bomber hit six. This was on top of a large amount of levels among the ordinary troops, of course. There were still some level 3 holdouts among the rapid response battalion, unfortunately. Among the prisoners were the expected two hundred or so that were on the walls, plus the forty more that the pinks gummed down, plus about forty more that were tied down by wooden restraints. Huh. Harold! Tanya shouted. Hey, he was level 3 now. Yesm? Harold asked. That capture arrow spell, Tanya said, pointing to them, -good thinking. Twas Bobs idea. Harold insisted. Old Harolds a bit slow on the draw, hisself, but between the two of us we can get some things done. Tanya stared at the crazy florist, eventually just turning away without saying anything more. Elya, get to work. Any Jojo thats still level 1 is on prisoner duties. Yes Princess. Elya said, bowing. Whats next on the post battle action list ah. Healomancy candidates. --------------------------- Turning units, for a turnamancer, gave just as much experience as executing them did, so Tanya wasnt terribly surprised when Elya leveled to four. The captured units were mostly infantry, but there was another warlord and a stack and a half of knights, too. With all of the units she had in the battlespace with her in the city, Tanya didnt have anything else to do beyond exchange missives with Ossomer and Ansom. Unless they have some units we dont know about, which is admittedly probable, the forces that can reach Trilateral only have a 21% chance of taking the city back, and even that much assumes that they can manage some way of getting the Chief or a dupe of him leading the charge. Tanya wrote to Ansom. She croaked most of the units within range the turn before they attacked. Ive already promoted enough knights and heavy knights to make up for the shortfall and so every warlord has a stack of heavies or knights to lead. Which, used up most of the shmuckers that were gained by converting bodies, either directly with moneymancy or by having the dwagons eat them. More than that was used to pop more. Really, she wasnt making much of a profit in this, but itll all be made up for in that final spoils payment, definitely. Plus shell have lots of new units to bring back, and higher level leadership. Plus Harold, she supposes, although it may be worth exploring alternative options. As long as she doesnt take a large loss, its all good. Do you intend on holding it as a long-term base or do you plan on abandoning it? Was Ansoms reply. Havent decided yet. Tanya wrote back. If they divert the main column to retake the city, it would be smarter to melt into the wilderness, but Id rather keep it so it can be sold to another side for greater than the raze price. Whether that side is Jetstone, HobbitTM, Rightshoring, whatever side gets made from Rightshorings carcass, or even Haggar unclear. Ive set Nozoo, that courtier unit I told you about, to city management, so well get the full income, thats about seventy-five hundred shmuckers a turn as long as I can hold it. This counted the food income, which was about half of it. The Jojos ate it all, though, so it was counted fairly. Expected engagement next turn. Ossomer sent. Either they will attack our column or they will dig into Offshoring and fight us there. Which was the main reason why Tanya expected them to let Trilateral go for a few turns, allowing them to produce a few extra units to dig in. Cannot commit to support for city attack. Tanya wrote back. Will need to assess tacsit. Understood. Ossomer wrote simply. Mathamancy analysis will determine if support is needed. Crunching the numbers is the least I can do. Send full unit count with scout report. Tanya wrote swiftly, ending that conversation. Im not concerned about money. Ansom eventually sent back. Preserve our forces, level up the leadership. Common wisdom is that you lose half of your level 1 warlords before leveling them, so youre doing well. The Jojos are expensive, but replaceable. Two hundred and fifty, well, two forty-five, shmuckers per ape is pretty pricey, yeah. Just remember that you cant keep that city, so dont hesitate to raze it if you cant hold it. Tanya rolled her eyes. Such a worrywort --------------------------- The next turn, Tanya took the all three flying knights that they popped (thanks to Elya) and used them to scout the area around Trilateral. While there was a single hex full of units that were in a position to inconvenience Trilateral if they abandoned it to help Ossomer, they were close enough that the heavy knights could make a round trip, and the rapid response knights could just barely afford to reach them and still make it to Offshoring, with Elya bolstering the move of the slowest ones. So they crushed that hex of units swiftly, keeping to ranged attacks in the case of the knights to minimize damage, letting the heavy knights take the bulk of the glory and damage. With a quick expense of juice to cash in the bodies, they were off to aid in the attack. As Ossomer predicted, Chief Warlord Jerry Mander dug in to Offshoring, but less expectedly the Chief Showdowns and what is presumed to be the original Jerry all fled on some unipegataurs that they were hiding somewhere, falling back to one of the sides level 5 cities, of which they had four. Onboarding was well-garrisoned, so going out and croaking them was out of the question. The plan, as it were, was clearly to kill the columns momentum as it took the level 3 Offshoring, costing enough units that proceeding further to attack Onboarding became impractical. It was a good plan. In fact, there wasnt a whole lot she could do to stop them from doing that. Which is what made it a good plan. But what she could do is support Ossomers attack by leading his air forces, lending her superior hex-wide bonus which is still inferior to the bonus enjoyed by their enemies, as they had the same doubled leadership as she did, and on a level 10 Chief, to boot. But the alternative was facing that massive bonus with only Ossomers bonus, which was not doubled by Lord Bertram. Also, one shouldnt discount the value in not needing to worry about more than one battlefield at a time, one managed by, not to toot her own horn, a competent and reliable ally. So Tanya took command, using her spare move (and the dwagons) to meet up with the column while leaving her knights on the other side of the city, three hexes away in some trees to avoid immediate notice. Five stacks of Unipegataurs, two of which were led by Jetstone warlords and one more by a HobbitTM warlord by the name of Boarfoot. Knowing that they needed some extra, Tanya was sure to bring von Jerkin and von Curdle, who mounted up, kicking off the knights that were there already. Some additional knights were provided and mounted on the dwagons, and the twenty stacks of orlies were also put at her disposal for screening and harassing duties. Now, Analysis? [Sweatshop Tower, level 3] Charge: 1375/1500 Defense Platforms: 5/5 [Whiz Showdown, level 7 Master Dittomancer (duplicate)] [Ulta Showdown, level 6 Warlord] [Archer Knights x8, levels 2-4] [Garrison Ballisticians x32, level 2] [Warlords x4, levels 1-3] Yikes there was no way shes going to be able to get him to miss all of those spells. Well, she did have a few ideas in mind on how to manage this sort of thing. Allied fliers, I will at first be attacking the walls with Prince Ossomer with the dwagons. Once I break away from that, then and only then will you enter the airspace. Is that understood? Yes, Princess! Shouted the disciplined Jetstone units. The HobbitTM units were less enthusiastic, but still signaled acknowledgement. It may be a bit predictable, but it was a good strategy: First, she opened with a flashbang spell to buy a few seconds of time before the ballistae and tower retaliate, then by bringing the dwagons in first and unleashing their breath weapons (well, the non-pink ones) where the column was attacking, it accelerated the penetration of the walls, particularly when paired with the standard hit-three-sides siege strategy that impeded the ability of the enemy to reinforce that wall segment from the forces in the adjacent segments. Tanya had brought two stacks of orlies purely to screen herself, which was wise as Boomstick displayed enough caution to launch just one spell from the tower at first, which fried one of them before running out of power. Tanya pulled down an eyelid while sticking her tongue out at the tower, attempting to provoke him into using more juice. The thing was, he probably knew what she was doing. Not every tower spell was capable of being launched to the tops of the walls, and fewer were able to do so without damaging the walls themselves while doing so. By engaging the top of the walls with a stack of dwagons, including using two purples to slam the wall segment with Siege breaths, she forced him to do so, as he apparently neglected to station knights on his wall for specifically this purpose. That said, ballista emplacements from both the tower and garrison were tearing gouges off of her dwagons hides, so this was a bit of a gamble. If they break the wall? Great. She doesnt even need to bring in her knights or the orlies, the unipegataurs can instead land and they can take this city without even entering the airspace. Seeing that the Numbers were not in his favor, Boomstick unleashed several of the tower spells on her stack, which Tanya used her wand to absorb and deflect into the wall, as she did on the last city. Ouch, that was a lot of juice [Charge: 500/1500] Perfect. Tanya disengaged her stack with a quick foolamancy baffle, a quick set of fake explosions causing the lot to flinch away from her departing dwagons instead of taking their free attacks. As the air force poured into the airspace, Tanya burst into laughter, letting the magic shape the words out of her throat. Thunder over Offshoring, Trenches, Overture! Chaos erupted. Fake explosions mingled with real ones, dwagons of fire flew exposed, only to be revealed as real as they unleashed a combination breath. Olies looked like knights, while knights looked like dwagons, pairing up to maneuver so as to look like a normal sized stack. Shockamancy, real and fake, flew about, striking down units as they came, but they were nowhere near enough. As expected, in short order the banners of Offshoring depicted the royal radishes of Jetstone. Chapter 22 Elya, can you turn units to an allied side? Tanya asked. The turnamancer paused as they ate at the banquet table, thinking over the question. Ossomer and Bill-Bob seemed interested in the question. ...I dont see why not, although Id need someone from that side on hand to give the offer, or maybe just giving permission to me would work? She furrowed her brow as she tried to fit the idea into her mental framework of magic. ...Id like to try. She said eventually. Ossomer nodded firmly. That would resolve the question of what to do with our prisoners. Good thinking, Princess. Boost the citys production while youre at it. Tanya ordered. This turn and the next. Tanya knew that Ossomer had set the place to start replenishing the garrison, as Jetstone intended to hold the city. So thats an extra turn of production right there. Yes, Princess. Elya said, nodding firmly but not stopping her meal to follow the orders. So I got a curious little bit of info by hat today. Bill-Bob said casually. Something about you being a caster-warlady, Princess? How much is Charlie charging people for that info, by the way? Tanya asked, genuinely curious. Not important. Bill-Bob said immediately, flushing. Too much, then. Whats up with that? Its true, I am a warlord, but I am also capable of casting magic. Tanya said, using an infinitesimally small amount of juice to create a few sparkles around her fingers. I have no casting specialty, so I must learn each spell as if out-of-class. But this means that Ive picked up quite a few disciplines, with no primary to lean on. Right. I saw you use Foolamancy. He said suspiciously. Ive found myself quite talented at Foolamancy. Tanya said truthfully. Its not my best discipline, that would be moneymancy, but its quite useful. shed rate foolamancy as her third best discipline, behind date-a-mancy as well. Moneymancy? Bill-Bob asked, incredulous. Well ain''t that useless in a war. Tanya scoffed. It counters croakamancy, so I wouldn''t be so sure. ...is that what happened to all the bodies? He asked. Yes. Tanya said, repeating the sparkles with a wave of her hand. Bodies still have value, so they can be sold. She actually split off enough bodies to feed the dwagons and had the Jetstone infantry strip them, then sold the equipment on top of getting the discounted upkeep, as the equipment doesnt depop when the bodies were physically eaten, Well how about that Bill-Bob said, thinking on the matter. What kinda upkeep does Caster give you? 2068 My upkeep is 1,788 shmuckers. Tanya deadpanned. For comparison, the level 4 Elya was 193 and the level 3 Harold was 135, the Noble had a higher upkeep than was standard for a caster while the ugly florist had a lower one. Eugh. Is that worth it? Bill-Bob asked, vaguely disgusted at the number. Id like to think so. Tanya said modestly. I pay for myself more often than not. Also she basically never pays it, opting to instead use a supply of Rands to pay it. She stocked up on thirty-two of them before leaving for this war, at a cost of 8,000 shmuckers. It will pay for many more than thirty two caster turns of upkeep for the Glade of the Hippiemancers. They were a good friend to have. Its really not that much. Ossomer pointed out reasonably. This hex alone has three times that in just infantry stacks. Those dwagons must be at least double. Tanya double checked the dwagons upkeep. Two threes, two fours, four fives, and a six? Yes, over double, with only one forty-seven on top. But thats an elite stack Commander units increased their upkeep at a greater rate per level than other kinds of units. Bill-Bob grumbled, his heartstring burning with envy. It was too strong of an emotion to subtly prune, so Tanya refrained from casting date-a-mancy. That wasnt going to end well, but as long as HobbitTM refrained from doing anything about it until after this war, it was fine. She did spend a little bit of juice to send a note to Maggie to reinforce the border, though. Just in case. The accommodations in Offshoring were rather lousy in comparison to pretty much any city Tanya had ever spent the night in, losing even to Trilateral, which would be second place. It had beds, although they were lumpy and uncomfortable, and it lacked proper facilities, like Gobwin Knob used to before she instructed Sizemore to install indoor plumbing. It was somehow more aggravating and unpleasant than camping in the field was, despite being objectively superior conditions. All in all, by the next morning Tanya was sorely considering using the scroll Maggie had scribed to cure headaches to make up for the poor sleep. Hm, theyre attacking Trilateral. Tanya commented as she sat at the battlemap that was set up at the top of Sweatshop Tower. How are the Jojos holding? Ossomer asked as he started looking at known positions around that city. They havent penetrated the walls yet, so okay for now. Tanya said as she watched the battle from the eyes of one of the freshly popped Recon Knights, waiting in the airspace. They created a lot of duplicate units to fill out numbers, and I assume those are also duplicates of Jerry and Boomstick. She was honestly shocked that they were able to duplicate that many uncroaked. ...Wait, duplicates use upkeep as a basis for their juice costs, dont they? Tanya asked. Yes. Ossomer said authoritatively. Uncroaked have less upkeep than when alive, do they use the old value or the new one? Tanya asked. ...I am unsure. Ossomer admitted. I do know golem duplicates cost one fourth of the original production cost rather than a cost based on the golems upkeep. Tanya thought for a moment. Okay, uncroaked are really cheap to animate per unit upkeep due to Oh. ...I am beginning to understand how they managed to pull three thousand uncroaked infantry from nowhere. Including a rather large contingent of digger units. Did they croak their own units to get the bodies for this? They probably used scrolls to extend their juice supply too Whats the mathamancy? Ergh, 80% chance to lose the city. Elya and Visha are in that city! Bill-Bob, does Count Gambler have juice to lend aid? She asked. Yeah, he does. Bill-Bob admitted. Theyre not hitting here, so what do you need done? Tanya used date-a-mancy to send a message to Visha. As the target wasnt a master-class thinkamancer, it was substantially more expensive of a spell to use, but it was still functional. Boost Lady Victoria von Secrets attacks. Her whole stacks attacks. Got it. He said, scribbling orders on parchment and sending it through his hat. After a moment, he got a note back. Its done. Tanya sent a much simpler go message, and saw through the helpless scouts eyes as the wall fell to the uncroaked diggers and minertaurs. Right as the enemy leadership made its way through the wall, Vishas stack, which was also Yogi the Mightys stack, dropped down on the Chief Warlord and Caster duplicates. The Smash damage bonus allowed the heavy knights to clear out all screens and the caster, and Visha lopped off the head of the Chief Warlord duplicate with a luckamancer-boosted crit hold on. Tanya smiled widely. That was the real Jerry! She said, as the decapitated head failed to depop. With the uncroaked armys bonuses suddenly gone, the numbers dropped at a catastrophic rate, quickly vanishing entirely, only small amounts of dust remaining from the uncroaked that werent duplicates. The losses were substantial, half of the Jojos croaked between the walls and the fighting that Vishas stack held back from until the command units entered the garrison zone, but the city held. That is excellent news. Ossomer said, While Im sure they possess an adequate replacement, it is still a substantial blow to their forces. Its the beginning of the end, for Rightshoring. Tanya said firmly. --------------------------- By the time the arrogant Epic Showdown was willing to attempt surrender, it was too late: the Royal Crown Coalition had already decided to fully unseat the troublesome Overlord and install Prince Bill-Bob in his place as King. Even with so many warlords to split experience with, Tanya did eventually level to eight. Along with the extra centimeters and the increase in side-wide bonus, her hair ended up growing substantially. Not that her hair didnt grow with the previous levels, she had entered the world with shoulder-length hair and it was about a quarter down her back at level seven, but now it trailed three quarters of the way down her back, equally fluffy and artfully curled throughout the whole length. It was very pretty, and a nice reward to cap off the five hundred thousand shmuckers she got from her portion of Rightshorings treasury combined with razing half of their cities. It was a lot of money, objectively. Jetstone got just as much, and HobbitTM got RingCo, their new subordinate side. This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it. All that was left to resolve this war was the long walk back to Yojo Mojo territory. Fortunately, she didn''t need to participate in that part. After all, she can enter the Magic Kingdom openly again. --------------------------- You''ve grown so much! Grand Abbie Janis Atlantis said as she enveloped Tanya in a hug. She was one of the larger denizens of Erf, so Tanya was still shorter than her. Your Signamancy is much more in alignment now. That statement gave Tanya pause. Wait she looked down at herself. The first thing she had done upon returning was to order Ace to create for her some magic clothing, specifically something that allowed her to carry large amounts of objects. The new dress was designed for comfort, first and foremost. It had a faux military jacket at the shoulders, covering only her ribcage, with corsetry keeping the dress part flush with her waist. The skirt was not separate like some of her other outfits, instead spilling out from the corset to fall to her knees, with a split in the front that could be buttoned up if things got chilly. The outfit was finished off with silky stockings, high heeled shoes, and a large ribbon on the back of her head. The whole thing was lined with artful frills, and she thought it made her look quite cute. Ace did good work. But when looking down, the first thing she saw was her cleavage. It was a bit of a shock when she realized that she had grown up enough to possess such a thing, but while the delcottage was modest, it was hers. That thought filled her with a sense of pride? Now that she thought about it, it was a little strange that she had grown so comfortable with her developing body. She had expected, last year when she was still in the orphanage, that it would be hellish, that the mental anguish that tormented her at the start of this life would return with renewed fervor but it didn''t. Was it because the age skipping meant she missed out on the worst of puberty? Whatever magic that healed her every morning letting her skip out on the worst facet of being a young woman? That sounded plausible Bah. There was no point in dithering about it now. She was a princess now, wearing cute dresses as everyday wear was just part of the package. Janis was looking at her in concern. Would you like to talk about what''s bothering you? She asked, cutting to the heart of the matter. Ah, there was no way she could conceal her troubles from a master-class date-a-mancer, much less one that originally popped in the discipline. ...it''s a complicated story. She eventually said. I''m probably the only one, aside from the Great Minds, that can provide counsel to you. Janis said, If you recall what we discussed in your first trip here. A tiny trickle of juice from the Grand Abbie brought the memory to life, when she mentioned that she contributed to the Summon Perfect Warlord spells creation. Hm. She was right. As one of the only people to know she was summoned, she was uniquely qualified. Further, she was one of the closest things this world had to a therapist, or a confessor. ...well need plenty of privacy. Tanya admitted. Of course. Follow me. Janis said, leading Tanya deeper into the Glade of the Hippiemancers. --------------------------- Tanya exhaled, letting the drugged mist escape. It wasn''t her first hit on Janis hookah, but it might be the last. ...and that''s the situation. Janis exhaled her own breath of drugged mist. Every time Tanya took a moment to imbibe, Janis took a hit of her own, and took extra besides. I must admit, I didn''t expect such a wrought tale. She said, thinking deeply on Tanyas story. A false Titan, or worse: a real one, being repopped with completely different Signamancy but it makes sense. Tanya didn''t expect that. It does? She asked. Mhmm. Janis hummed in agreement. One of the first few lines of Scripture on Man was that we were made partially in the Titans image. From there, it''s not so hard to imagine a Titan with mortal foibles, but without mortal limits. ...I suppose you have a point. Tanya said, thinking about how even in her first two worlds, man was supposedly made in Being Xs image. Further, Signamancy isn''t a one way street. Janis said, without a trace of incoherence from the drugs they had been inhaling. Yes, somethings inner nature informs its outer appearance but it works the other way, too. You found being a Princess a useful thing, so you took in the nature of a princess inside of you and now you have a hard time thinking of yourself without that fact influencing your image. Tanya frowned, thinking about the lesson. So it was like signaling theory. She acted in the most beneficial way to her, to influence the opinions of others but ended up influencing herself as well. But was it just me? Could the crown that gave me the royal special be doing it? Janis hummed. That''s a difficult question, Tanya. As I''ve told you before, knowing things is altogether inferior to feeling them. You dig? Tanya winced. What do you feel about the situation? Are you bothered by the you of today, who has changed from the you of one hundred turns ago? ... I''m more bothered by the fact that I''m not bothered. Tanya said, taking another hit from the hookah. The floral taste of the steam filled her mouth and sinuses as she took a toke. After Janis took another hit of her own, Tanya exhaled and continued. I should be bothered, right? It hasn''t even been four months. That''s not long at all. A lot can happen in one hundred turns, Tanya. Janis said, mist spilling out of her mouth as she spoke. In that time, you''ve gone from powerless to one of the most personally powerful units in the world, you went from friendless to having comrades you can enjoy life with, and while yes, you faced war in either life, here you get to be in charge, a master of your own Fate, as it were. She looked upwards, rethinking her words. Well, perhaps not that last bit. There are a few prophecies regarding you, still. But nevertheless, is it so strange that you''d find yourself happy? Tanya nodded dumbly, although she will probably worry about that last part later, when she was less mellow. Why did you help create the Perfect Warlord, Janis? She asked, changing the topic. It seems out of character for a Grand Abbie. Janis flushed, the one question disturbing her inner peace more than any of the worldview shattering revelations Tanya had dropped. It''s a bit silly. She admitted, eyes dropping to watch her hands worrying at her skirt. The thinking was, that if we summoned a perfect warlord, we could make war obsolete. She looked up at Tanya, her eyes hungry, desperate for an answer. Do you think it can be done? Tanyas heart ached as the answer immediately came to mind. No. She said, wiping away tears that snuck up on her. The drugs are making her emotional The biggest obstacle to world peace is that people here like war. They see it as their purpose. Every turn, more and more units pop with that opinion, even if some amount of those people disagree. she shook her head slowly. She''d worked it out before. Financially, you could have peace, but there wasn''t much in the way of productive work that wasn''t war. You''d be trying to design a post-scarcity society with effectively hereditary nobility. Not a good mix. I don''t see any way of fixing that problem, and even my wild, probably won''t work ideas are beyond what I would consider an ethical solution. That wasn''t even talking about the effects of the world''s religion. War was this world''s purpose, and the holy books back this up. Its terrible, but as long as there remains demand for war, as long as the preference for war remains a holy mandate It will persist. Janis sighed sadly. It was always just a hope. She said softly. Still, identifying the core issue is the key problem, and you managed that. It never really comes up in our drum circles that the warlords want war. Its understood, but it was always kind of waved away. Not just the warlords. Tanya clarified. When I was building up Yojo Mojo, I had to cast moneymancy to demote field units to garrison. We had plenty of the former, but little of the latter. For half of them, they basically acted that they were getting disbanded, being set to a peaceful existence that would only ever be broken by the city getting invaded. Hm. Perhaps what bothered them wasnt the peace, but- Janis said before Tanya interrupted. Theres more. Tanya said, shaking her head. When attempting to turn enemy prisoners, continued life didnt really motivate them. They didnt care much about croaking. What they cared about was the chance to pick up their weapons and fight. Tanya sighed. That promise, no matter how remote, that if they changed sides, theyll have another chance to cut off another units head or stab them or whatever. Thats what convinced them. This is what you are working to fix. I see. Janis said, sad but accepting. The issue is greater than we understood. I suppose in our glade, the problem seems simpler than it does outside the magic kingdom. If you really wanted to fix the issue, you would need to implement a form of natural selection. Tanya said grimly. Create a system where peace-loving units survive, and war-loving units perish. Controlled conflict would do, and the opportunity to enjoy conflict by proxy would probably satiate the violent desires of some units. It would be like sports. Theoretically. You would need to conquer the world before you could even attempt such a thing, but thats the only way I can see to maintain peace long-term: give the battle maniacs and warmongers what they want, without giving them the power to affect geopolitics. An interesting perspective. Janis allowed, disagreeing without saying so. If youd be willing, Id like to invite you to a discussion with some of the more philosophical Hippiemancers, we could discuss this further. Tanya looked at the hookah. Will there be more of this? She asked. It actually felt kind of nice, to be able to say what she was thinking without worrying about the consequences. We pull out the best stuff in these meetings. Janis assured her. I feel well need it to open our minds to the far out perspective youll bring. Id be glad, then. Tanya said, grinning despite herself. An evening of philosophy and relaxation sounded nice. Whens the next meeting? At night, in three turns. Janis said. Now, do you feel better about what was troubling you? Tanya thought about it. In many ways, her life now was even better than it was when she was working her way up the corporate ladder. Yes, it was a bit existential, to realize the extent to which shes gone native but was that really such a bad thing? Shes always liked wargames, and now she was living one. As an overpowered special unit, even. Its not like it was this worlds fault that she was a girl, that blame can be laid firmly at Being Xs feet. She had always prided herself on being able to adapt to what society demanded of her, to succeed by signaling the right things, regardless of her personal feelings on the matter. This was just a step further than that. There wasnt even any objective reason she could think of to not want to be a girl. Pregnancy wasnt a thing in this world, she would have menstruated at least once by now if it was possible, and there wasnt even anyone who objected to being led by a girl, much less one who dressed like a magical girl. It was just normal here. Tanya slowly nodded. Yes, I do. She said to Janis question. I am Tanya von Degurechaff, Princess of Yojo Mojo. Who she was before she was still them where it mattered. Clinging to things that are irrevocably lost was irrational. Shes had eight years to mourn her manhood and all that came with it. It wasnt even a matter of accepting it, but instead accepting that she had already accepted it. Thank you for your counsel. Oh, I didnt do much. You just needed someone to talk to, to listen to you say your thoughts out loud. I find that so many problems in life can be solved that way. Janis said, smiling sadly. Tanya disagreed, but nodded anyway, accepting Janis modesty. For your trouble. She said, manifesting a set of ten one thousand shmucker gems. -and your discretion. The flower power/signamancy combination that Janis had cast to obscure their conversation from any prying eyes was not a small spell, so her payment was quite reasonable. Now, she should sleep this off, shes starting to see colors that she doesnt recognize --------------------------- One person that she never expected to meet in the Magic Kingdom, particularly when she was exploring the Hocus Pocus octant, was Wanda Firebaugh. She had Marie Lavere, her Predictamancer friend, with her. Wandas outfit immediately made Tanya think Demon Queen, the natural enemy of the magical girl princess. Tanya. She said in greeting, inclining her head as she gripped the Arkenpliers. It still had an otherworldly aura around it, a form of weight that was difficult to describe. Wanda. Tanya greeted in turn. She inclined her head towards the dark-skinned caster as well. Marie. Its good tah see you again, Tanya. Marie said, smiling mysteriously. Weve been expecting you. Tanya resisted the urge to scoff. Is there something in particular that Faq wishes to communicate? She said formally. While it turned out for the best, she was still rather annoyed with Wanda for leaving her holding the bag like that. Were not heah for Jillian. Marie said, as if the Queens opinion actually mattered with Wanda around. Ah wanted to talk to you about your Fate. Tanya suddenly recalled Janis mentioning prophecies the day before. Ah, right. She never did inquire about those, did she? Im listening, for now. But dont assume Ill believe a word you say. This wasnt a secure area. She spent some juice on her foolamancy senses, to detect anyone eavesdropping. Good, no one for now. Youve been fighting Cholly. Marie said simply. Hes been hired against me. Tanya corrected. We have a mutually profitable relationship, thus far. Charlie wasnt particularly happy about how it was mutually profitable instead of just profitable for him, but it was exactly where Tanya wanted him. Thas not gonna last. Marie pronounced. Was that a Prediction? Chollys been fighting Fate for a long time. Evah since the last Perfect Warlady went back home. Tanyas eyes widened. Back home? Thats possible? She asked quietly. What did she mean by home? If she could go back to the Empire, thats a non-starter. But if she could go to one world why not another? I was there when she went. A man said from behind Tanya. Who? Tanya finally noticed the foolamancy that had caused her to not be able to see his perspective and thus could see through it. Ah, Jack. As a master-class foolamancer, of course he could outwit her weaker mastery of his discipline. Her name was Judy Gale. Jack spun one hell of a tale, using foolamancy to convey the majority of the tale rather than using normal words. Supposedly because it was more secure. Charlie was a carnymancer, Fated to be killed by a Perfect Warlord, and far more powerful than anyone else suspected. To be clear, Tanya already knew that he was very powerful, but his true strength was still greater than she could imagine. Supposedly, the reason Jack was telling the story was that the three of them had Signed an agreement to keep things secret, referred to as the Deal of a Lifetime. What little Marie had said was the most she was capable of saying on the matter. However, Jack had been croaked in action about a tenturn ago and was decrypted (which was the super-uncroak that the Arkenpliers used, and aside from some signamancy changes, he was indistinguishable from a living unit), and thus was free from that agreement. If they were just spinning a tale, their motive was simple: They wanted her to attack Charlie with them. Either by joining Faq, or by allying with them. They claimed that Fate would nudge things in her favor, guaranteeing an intelligent strategys success. If it was true, it was a con worthy of the carnymancer that they claimed Charlie was. Tanya was not convinced. The Great Minds can corroborate a fair amount of the information that Jack has given you. Wanda said, finally speaking after letting Marie and Jack take the lead for so long. Not everything. I do not believe they are aware of Charlies personal history, but your summoning was orchestrated by them specifically to croak Charlie, and that is something you can confirm with them. She seemed somewhat melancholy as she said one last thing: It looks like you will be taking the hard way to fulfill your Fate. Let us hope that the pain you experience on your path will be worth your pride. With that, the group of Faq casters left. Chapter 23 The Thinkamancy guild has the grandiose name of The Great Minds that Think Alike. Their guild hall looked like a Greek temple, if it was made from colorful plastic. The area surrounding it had literal playground equipment, which some of the thinkamancers were using with what could charitably called contemplative looks on their faces. Tanya thought that even less attentive to the world around them than the stoned hippiemancers described those vacant looks better. Isaac was among them, oscillating on a rubber duck shaped playground toy, supported by a spring. What were those called? Either way, he was also paying much more attention to how did Janis put it? the grandness of the cosmos? He was clearly focusing on that rather than physical reality. Headmaster? She prompted, seeing if he was aware enough to notice himself addressed. He was not. Tanya strummed their mutual heartstring instead, infusing it with a wordless request for discussion. Isaac fell off of the giant rubber ducky. He sent a much more complicated message along the same string, requesting clarification on both the request and on how she had managed to send a thinkagram. Its Date-a-mancy. Tanya said out loud. Numbers are data. Data is information. Pairings have a connection, and through that connection, Date-a can be sent. Tanya waved her hands mystically and strummed the heartstring one more time. It''s more complicated than that, but it''s accurate enough to work with. Or, to be more specific, she sent a shared experience, provoking his mind into conjuring the corresponding memory of the time she had asked him to describe casting thinkamancy, where he said that exact thing when referring to how thinkamancy senses involved the detection of strings that Thinkamancy spells send information through, in the case of thinkagrams, or manipulate, in the case of more direct magic. She couldn''t talk about them out loud, as part of the voluntary self-censorship that was a precondition to learning more about Thinkamancy. Fascinating. Isaac said out loud, politely matching the conversational medium. Simultaneously, more information got sent along their heartstring. This could have greater implications than you know. I wish to discuss a sensitive matter. I just had the most interesting claims made by a neighbor that you all can apparently verify. Tanya said obliquely. Is there a secure area we can use? Does one exist? Yes. Isaac said. Can we use it? That depends on the nature of the discussion. The information was more of an accusation. Tanya clarified, Supposedly, an experiment by the Great Minds I was involved in, we''ve had plenty of those, haven''t we? Had something of an ulterior motive. Isaac''s eyes widened. She thinks he understands. As their claims would have a significant impact on my sides diplomatic posture, and our own relations with the Great Minds, I thought it prudent to speak with you directly. Headmaster Isaac contemplated her words. Yes, if it is a matter of importance to the Great Minds as a whole, it should be secure. Follow me. As it turned out, Maggie was already present right outside the thinkamancy guild temple, discussing something or other with a woman that looked a little like an infamously attractive horror movie hostess, but more svelte. Princess. She greeted. Well be having this discussion inside the Temple. Isaac announced, to the shock of the collected casters. They fell in line, though. From the feel of their emotions, Tanya got the impression that the announcement was more of a signal to activate a contingency plan rather than a normal pronouncement from a leader. There wasn''t nearly enough confusion for this to be spontaneous. After a brief moment for Isaac to announce her impending entrance to those inside, he came back out. My fellow Minds have agreed with my decision. We welcome you into the Temple of Thinkamancy. The interior was spartan, with basically nothing but stone flooring and places to sit. Maggie informed her of how the seats constituted a pseudo-ranking system of esteem/seniority, and there weren''t any accommodations for guests. Deeming such a thing unacceptable, Tanya reached into her cleavage and pulled out a wand that looked like an office seal, making use of her new dress storage and retrieval properties. Waving it while saying the magic word, Wilscot, she made a throne for herself, one that fit her dress signamancy. All this wand did was make temporary, one-turn dirtamancy structures, usually tiny rooms which amounted to adding furniture given the small battery but she could use it to make minor fortifications if she kept feeding it juice. The thinkamancers, she realized, didn''t emote much. Isaac was an exception; he was probably exercising more control over his facial expression than most, but he didn''t shun that particular mode of nonverbal communication. The others did. Fortunately, she could read the forming heartstrings between them and her, and that was even more reliable. Some of them felt slighted, seeing her action as rude, but others felt more respect: from long familiarity of the nuances of respect she knew to attribute that to her royal status, they saw it as right and proper for a visiting princess to have a place to sit. Maggie informed her telepathically that while this place was secure, it would only be so if she limited her communication to channels of thought. It wasn''t difficult to project those thoughts, she did so every day when issuing orders. As you are aware, I was summoned to this world by the Summon Perfect Warlord spell, which was created with your input. [Tisha Necrosis] My finest work. {Acknowledgement} (pride) That was a lot more thorough of a communication than was usually transmitted via Thinkamancy. It contained the name and face (that very Gothic looking caster Maggie was speaking with earlier), a text message, the connotation of the statement (that she was acknowledging Tanyas statement on behalf of the group) and, in barely a whisper that Tanya could only barely register, the emotional layer of the statement. Was that deliberate? If she wasn''t focusing her date-a-mancy senses, she probably wouldn''t have caught it. Tanya decided to pretend it was normal, although she strongly suspected they could see her make that decision as clearly as she could see their hidden amusement at her reaction. The whole experience was reminding her unpleasantly of Being X. Marie Laverne, who claims involvement in the creation of the summoning spell Tanya trailed off, letting the question hang. [Isaac Cipher] She was. {Confirmation} (anxious) ...she claimed that I was summoned with an objective enforced by Fate, to croak Charlie. Tanya finished, Which is your goal. There was an odd clicking sound, with the emotions of the Great Minds swirling in response. They were talking to each other. Perhaps a highly compressed language for efficient communication between them? Maybe an encrypted one instead? [Empress Saltina] The summoning spell was a collaborative effort meant to fulfill multiple goals, from multiple groups. One of them, our goal, was the destruction of Charlescomm, that is correct. {Exposition} (hope) The Empress was a petite woman with long blue hair and regal robes. Tanya frowned. When, precisely, was I to be informed of this? [Isaac Cipher] When certain conditions were met. Ideally, in the event that you decided to fight Charlescomm on your own. {Exposition} (calm) [Pamelor Ansem] Or if Charlie started working against you in earnest. {Clarification} (calm) Pamelor was a pretty blonde woman wearing a red one piece swimsuit. Okay, I accept your logic. Tanya conceded, understanding their plan. Charlie was so obviously untrustworthy and threatening that they thought it fruitful to just maintain good relations, and when Tanya inevitably came into conflict with Charlescomm, be in a position to provide generous assistance without needing to risk open aggression. Granted, Tanya still wasn''t completely convinced that they couldn''t come to an understanding, and she would have still preferred to know, but alas. Marie provided intelligence that they claim you were probably not already aware of. I propose an exchange: you provide information on Charlie''s capabilities, I provide that intelligence. I will not commit to Charlescomms destruction at this time. Our relations are still acceptable. More noises. They kind of reminded Tanya of a modem, but it wasn''t quite the same. Maybe a switchboard? [Roger Victor Clarence] Marie Laverne withheld intelligence? [Incredulity] (offended) Roger was a dark-skinned, elderly looking man who was wearing black robes, reminding Tanya of a judge. [Isaac Cipher] We accept your offer. Information for information. {Negotiation} (curious) She was under Signamancy nondisclosure. Tanya elaborated, and then went into Jacks tale of confusion, double-dealing, and tragedy. Or, at least, abridged it to the important points. Most importantly: Charlie was a carnymancer. The Great Minds had not known that for sure, it was merely one of several possibilities they had debated over. Maries testimony, even by proxy twice over, was considered reliable enough to them to accept this as fact going forward. The other details were much less critical. Interesting to know, but it just amounted to Charlies an easy target for you, specifically, Tanya so she didnt put much stock in them. The Great Minds did find the details of the mans history very intriguing, however. They had known of Judy Gale, the previous Perfect Warlord, but were not aware of her departure back home with the Arkenshoes. Nor that arkentool attunement was not necessarily all-or-nothing, as it took several turns for the woman to attune to the shoes. Also, Tanya had so many questions about how infinite move worked, but alas, Jack knew none of the answers. Stolen story; please report. In return, they had explained about what they knew about Charlies capabilities with the Arkendish; Most notably: He could link very safely and at a distance. They had initially assumed it only functioned as a powerful state 2 link, but there were many discrepancies that were adequately explained by always being a carnymancy/X linkup instead. This was a problem, because carnymancers were, as a rule, very insular. It could be assumed that any attempt to glean assistance from a carnymancer would only be inviting a spy. Worse, what they did know of carnymancy (the rule-breaking magic) indicated that it was a very versatile combination. It did explain why the Great Minds were so willing to assist in Yojo Mojos linkup experiments, however. In addition, he could intercept thinkamancy transmissions. Whether he could interfere with them was not clear, but this was the primary source of contention between the Great Minds and Charlescomm. They are used to charging a premium for convenient and secure battlefield communications with their clients, and Charlie can peep on all of them. The good news was, Charlie did not sell this service. So it was a hidden ace in the hole for the carnymancer, only relevant to his enemies as long as the capability was kept secret. The bad news was, Scouting was natural thinkamancy, as was issuing orders. He can peep on those too. Further, he had a few more terrifying capabilities: the ability to spy on the collective intuition as a form of prediction, which meant that his ability to read your moves increased for every unit that knew your plans.. Finally, he had a history of subverting Natural Allies, mechanism unknown. It could just be him bribing them by using thinkagrams to set up the arrangements, but it was unclear whether or not there was more to it than that. What a time to have a brand new set of Natural allies, right when they were being pushed to attack a side that was known to induce betrayals of them. Hold on. Was Charlie behind the death of King Saline? He had motive, assuming he was capable of anticipating the results of Stanley gaining control of Gobwin Knob. It was hardly a complex deduction. Nevertheless, while the Great Minds were adamant that Charlies destruction was necessary, and that conflict was inevitable Tanya still wasnt quite convinced. Strategically, Charlie was a threat, but as far as they could tell, he didnt know that a Perfect Warlord had been summoned, and Tanya didnt see any reason for that information to come out. If Charlie did learn that fact, he would put significant effort to remove that piece from play, due to the Prediction that he would croak to a Perfect Warlord. Shit. Wanda and Marie knew, and had reason to reveal that information, to distract him from their own efforts to defeat him, and to draw two of their enemies into conflict with one another. At the end of the day, though, Charlescomm was a non-allied side nearby to Yojo Mojos territory. A non-aggression pact was in force, but given she has cause to believe that Charlie would initiate hostilities regardless hrm. I dont trust this so-called advantage Fate would give me over Charlie. Tanya eventually told the Great Minds. I can start preparing for hostilities, and given his many advantages he may be more of a threat than Faq, but I cannot commit to an aggressive strike against him at this time. For one, shed probably lose. What kind of murderous defenses would Charlie have set up in his single, solitary city over the last thousand plus turns? [Roger Victor Clarence] Acceptable. {Agreement} (relief) [Isaac Cipher] Conventional Assault against Charlescomm would be fruitless. Even with your advantages. For now, simply continue to prepare. I offer my own services on retainer to assist. {Proposal} (relief) Tanya hummed, but nodded in approval. To mitigate suspicion, Ill need to pay a fair rate. How does upkeep plus twenty suit you? As in, paying the mans upkeep and paying him twenty rands per turn on top of that. Usually, you couldnt get the services of a Headmaster at your full disposal for any price, and a high level thinkamancer could usually get that much without difficulty just on thinkagrams if they had done enough networking. On the low end of reasonable. I accept. Isaac said out loud. Let us be off. Lets. --------------------------- The first thing that needed to get done, after her new supply of minor wands and major scrolls that werent made by her sides casters was sourced, was to build up the sides defenses against aerial blitzes. As the most important consideration was a decaptiation strike on the capital, the first order of business was creating an automated defense system that would be effective against archons. They had to assume that, at the very least, Charlie wouldnt try and execute a decapitation strike while Tanya was present, to maximize his chances of success. So there had to be something created without that. To that end Okay, okay. Lloyd Bernhard, Jetstones Dittomancer, said. Ive never linked up before, but your idea is good. Real good. They had offered a battle bear to Jetstone in return for a turn of his services, and given that they normally spend most of his juice each turn making a dupe of Ace that made half of a battle bear each turn, it was a fair enough deal. Their good relations made simple exchanges like that easy and frequent. If it works. Tanya added. True, true. Lloyd agreed. Lets pair up. Maggie was a lot more skilled at linking, now that she was Master-class. She entangled their heartstrings as carefully as she did their G-strings, and Tanya invested a bit of juice into reinforcing their stack bonus, allowing for a firm, sturdy connection between them. Hm, youre correct. Sizemore said, Maggie and Lloyd mumbling his words in tune with his own. There is something here. A mind so basic that we never considered it. Maggie said. Its a bad, bad mind. Lloyd added. But it can be improved. Maggie said. Just need someone to step in. Lloyd said. Just be careful to build it well, we need a sturdy, lasting improvement. Sizemore said. Yes, Ive got it. Maggie said, Me too, me too. Lloyd said. All three of them cast a spell as one. Upload! Suddenly, an awareness bloomed in Tanyas mind, a bit like a new button appearing in her head. Pressing it, Tanya got an image of the airspace, as if it was being scouted. There was a single red dwagon flying there idly. I think it worked. She said, grinning. Headmaster? Testing. Isaac said immediately. Tanya shut out her perception of the airspace. When she re-opened her vision of the place, she saw two dwagons. Which was real? She prompted the tower to test, giving no further instructions. Tanya grinned wider as the tower immediately fired a bolt of flame at one of the dwagons, striking the real one. It worked! She shouted, leaping into the air and doing a victory dance. The real test would be if its still there in the morning. Lloyd said. Given that according to her moneymancy senses, the new unit directing their towers attacks has an upkeep of exactly one-fourth of her own, she was fairly certain it would. How much juice did it use, Dittomancer? Tanya asked. Four caster levels. He reported. Comparing it to the dittomancy spell they based this idea on yeah, that was on the high side. Mount up on a dwagon, then. We have more cities to bolster. Tanya ordered. Nine total cities, thirty-six caster levels If she siphons juice from here and refills it with the shock exchange, shell just need to siphon more juice from the last of the cities, which she can refill next turn. Fortunately, using dwagons to ferry a single caster (or even a linked set of them) to every city in Yojo Mojo in one turn was a long-solved problem. They will have to forgo Elya boosting production all over the side, though. She can do research instead, and learn more advanced spells or techniques from a more senior turnamancer in the Magic Kingdom. This was only the beginning. --------------------------- Thats the last of them. Tanya declared as she observed the final upgrade. Nine level 5 cities. How does it feel? The top of the bell curve The absolute highest income that a side can have per city, at the precipice of the diminishing shmuckers point. King Ansom hummed. Not much different than before, to be honest. He shrugged. Well, bigger numbers has its own sort of appeal, but its a crucial milestone. With a mostly set income, Plus the inconsistent income from the two non-city mines, -we can plot out our minimum defensive fortifcations, then we can extend that to the budget for our field army. Which we send forth towards the enemies of the Royal Crown Coalition, of course. Yes, youre right. Ansom said. When the two of them were sitting on Ansoms flying carpet in the airspace of the capital, watching the sun set, he spoke again: I want to abdicate. Hm? You want to be a Warlord again? Tanya asked. He nodded. Wed lose out on bonuses, but if you became Chief Warlord in my place, it wouldnt be much of a drop. I have to. He said, I do my best to let you run your kingdom as you want, but look at me. He gestured to himself. Im losing my hair, my stomach is soft This life isnt for me. I need to ride forth, to crusade for the Titans, and fight for Royal ideals. Signamancy degradation like that is somewhat worrying, its true. Were certainly in a position to fight anyone who objects to me being the ruler on equal footing. Tanya agreed. I accept the position. Ansom grinned. Then I formally abdicate the crown of Yojo Mojo to my heir, Princess Tanya. Long live the Queen. Tanya took a deep breath as ruler senses bloomed once more in her awareness. I appoint Prince Ansom to the position of Chief Warlord. She said, So what are you going to do first? Im going to fulfill my destiny. Ansom replied, determined. Im going to conquer Charlescomm. Tanya chuckled. Is that why Faq is on our allied sides list? She asked wryly. We have two Arkentools to his one. Ansom said, Faq is a royal side, and Ive already gotten the other sides on board with the plan. This was definitely Jillians fault. Nevertheless, Tanya hummed in agreement. Alright, lets croak a carnymancer. She did have the nagging suspicion that she was making a mistake, though --------------------------- The first order of business after the abdication was hiring a Signamancer to give Ansom a makeover, temporarily restoring the degradation that being King imposed on him. The second order of business was calling a meeting between all of the Royal Crown Coalitions rulers. It had to be done via thinkamancy, of course. Isaac, Maggie, and Bunny all contributed to a shared meeting space, although Tanya sensed some rather strong feelings of hate and derision between Bunny and Isaac. Odd. They kept things professional however, so Tanya deemed it as not her business. Charlie was definitely listening in on to this, but that wasnt that difficult to work around. Calling this meeting to order. Tanya announced. We are here for one reason alone: To discuss the destruction of Charlescomm as a side. Or we could talk about how youre Queen now, how about that? King Froblo asked, the squat mans face derisive. Prince Ansom decided that he liked battle too much to remain King. Tanya said diplomatically. Also, this whole nonsense was his idea, if you recall. Tanya let that settle in. Well, it was Queen Jillians idea, but he dropped this war in my lap so I can only conduct it fairly. One advantage to having Charlie listen in is that she can make her signals very subtle. The Queen in question scoffed. Hey, its either him or me, at this point. Theres some Prediction crap, but nah. Ill take the hard way, always. Queen Bea stopped making doe eyes at Don King, the side-bar conversation Bunny was moderating through their heartstring for each other nauseating, for long enough to interject. It would be prudent to know what this Prediction is. Each ruler was allowed one additional unit to join the call. For Faq, it was Marie. All Arkentools will be united by one side, under one Queen. This I predict. Oh really? Now that was fascinating. It also added an additional layer of context behind Ansoms decision Assuming he knew of that prediction ahead of time. Pardon me, Queen Jillian. Asked the newly-popped King Couch, the ruler of Hyatt. But how is this the hard way as it were? It seems youre doing exactly what the prediction asks of you. Wanda wanted to find the Arkenshoes first. Jillian said bluntly. My bet is Charlie has em locked up tight. That does sound like the kind of move that wiseguy would make, yes. Don King added. Inevitably, Charlie will attempt to bribe one of us, or our neighbors, to distract us from attacking him. The surprisingly astute Sofa King declared. Anyone who gets an offer should, of course, follow their best interests. Tanya said, Which will definitely be rejecting his offer, because the amount of money that would make it worth angering all of us is an amount that Charlie certainly wont let you keep. There was a murmur of agreement. Now would be the time to start discussing organization. Ossomer stated, and they did so. Well, lets see how ironclad this whole Fate thing was Chapter 24 Ansom set off bringing two of the three Mecha stacks, which he led (Tanya used Date-a-mancy to augment their stack size), along with a set of eight siege towers that were impelled to have a small amount of their own move (6) by Elya. As the Mecha had 12 move, they could move 9 hexes per turn by using the mecha to push them the rest of the way. Hopefully, Tanyas drilling of those diggers for defensive fortifications wont be a waste; the levels they got were nice, but Archons were dangerous enemies. The date-a-mancy she cast to bolster their stats further will probably be more influential. Ansom had also brought along a nice column of infantry, and literally all of the spidew calvary, loaded up with knights and warlords. It was a proper invasion force, enough to take down an ordinary capital strike. Charlescomm is not an ordinary capital city, of course, but thats why he wasnt going alone: there were four more forces of roughly equivalent strength going with him from the Royal Crown Coalition and one more of thrice the strength from Faq. Of the sides, naturally Stanley and Ansom were spearheading things, but they were also accompanied by Chief Warlords from Sofa King, Unaroyal, and HobbitTM. Caster-wise, they sent Harold, Ace (who set up in the other Heroic Mecha, raising their bonuses to absurd levels), Jack, Wanda, Marie, six additional casters from Faq stolen from their conquered sides, Vanna and Prince Jeftichew, an Unaroyal turnamancer and Carnymancer, Grandelf the Gay and Shawn Bawn, the Chief Weirdomancer and a rhyme-o-mancer from HobbitTM, Rockem Sockem and Lostem Sockem, a dirtmanacer and findamancer from Sofa King, Lloyd Bernhard and Cubbins from Jetstone, and Transylvito was able to spare their dollamancer, Bill, at the head of a rather large contingent of knight-class golems mounted on Thunderbirds. Tanya kept the air forces at home, both because they had to hold back something and because they didnt want to bring the dwagons anywhere near the Arkenhammer. Faqs air force will be plenty. That said, Tanya spent several turns as they left setting up more and more super-stacks with date-a-mancy, going back and forth using her much greater move. It was horrifically wasteful to spend the juice on something so easily disrupted, but given who they were facing, what amounted to extra Leadership was valuable enough to dedicate her juice to the endeavor, and Maggie used a link to increase her date-a-mancy skill and to lend her own juice to the endeavor. Fortunately, Maggie could fly just as well as Tanya could when they were linked, using the greater of their move while connected. But eventually they were too far away and Tanya had nothing to do except establish contingencies. Okay, so were prepared for a decapitation strike from Charlescomm, were prepared for him to attack every single city-site at once, were ready for him to completely destroy the column with a secret doomsday weapon Is there anything else we need to prepare for? Tanya asked her council. Perhaps we should prepare for victory? Sizemore suggested. Thats Ansoms department. Tanya said confidently. We should be prepared for Charlie seizing control of the Jojos. Maggie suggested. Hes been known to do that. Isaac added. Impossible. It will not happen. Nothing could cause that. Insisted Mojo the Jojo. Just keep wearing your improved headgear, and stay here. Tanya instructed. Ace had enlisted Cubbins to link up and create a few hats that completely insulated the wearer from thinkamancy, which Tanya couldnt make use of as a Ruler, she needed those thinkamancy channels too much to go without, but everyone else made use of them when possible. We dont know if he uses mind control or just bribery, but either way, he cant do it to you as long as you wear the hat. My tribe, my minions, the soldiers under my command will defend this side until their dying breath. Mojo the Jojo insisted. According to my calculations, if Charlie sends any less than two hundred archons, it would be a slaughter. Tanya said, 85% chance of them doing no appreciable damage with exactly that many level 3 archons. With a seventy-three percent chance of a Charlescomm victory if they send four hundred. Count Harbinger offered. He was invited by Isaac to offer his opinion, and while Tanya didnt hire him, per se, she did cover his upkeep for the turn as a courtesy to Isaac. Archons were fragile, and bad at stack fighting, but they were resistant to shockamancy, which meant that they took more juice to croak than their stats would otherwise indicate. A spell that could croak a whole stack of her own knights would only croak three archons at best. The Tower of Efdup was tuned to maximize the amount of juice it could hold. It was effectively level seven, and it had been adjusted to hold additional juice in return for no longer automagically charging an amount every turn. Forty-two caster levels, a direct hit would take three of them to croak a whole stack of archons, so when combined with the Heavy Knights getting three stacks, and the towers ballistae could probably take out four more in an opening volley. Yeah, one hundred eighty are going to go down at the first round of combat, although admittedly the ballistae dont have as much anti-foolamancy, so maybe she shouldnt count those? Then again, shed need a thinkamancy link to successfully aim at that many different stacks anyway, so maybe she could use that to coordinate them with mathamancy? She ran the numbers again. Okay, that helped. I mean, the Shock Exchange means that I can refill my juice and keep firing more spells, but yeah, if enough live to start tossing shockamancy in my direction were going to have problems. Tanya admitted. On that note, hows your dittomancy coming along? Isaac asked. Tanya smiled. Its going okay. All I really need to do with it is make a duplicate of myself, and thats one of the easiest dittomancy spells there is. Tanya was ecstatic to learn that unlike duplicating literally anyone else, the caster duplicating themselves is incredibly inexpensive, following the trend of spells that were damned useful but were difficult to exploit as a squishy caster. It still had the caveat of must infuse with at least one caster level of juice, but she can use her wand to reclaim that. Dont ask me to make more than one duplicate, either. She added. That was rather difficult. It was a bit like folding, or unfolding? Each iteration was harder than the last. Only the greatest dittomancers could manage a triple fold, octupling something. As a novice dittoamancer, she cant do a double fold. Hm, that improves the numbers, if we incorporate a duplicate on the tower while putting the real Queen inside the Mecha. Count Harbinger said, casting a spell. Hm, yes, thatll lower the four hundred archon''s chance of success to forty-two percent. Thirty percent if you promote your duplicate to Chief Warlord. ...Can you do that? Tanya asked. Yes. Isaac said, Its a known trick for capital defense when the Chief Warlord is in the field. Duplicate the ruler, if high level, and promote the duplicate to Chief Warlord. It avoids the political issues inherent to promoting any other warlord to Chief Warlord temporarily. Also, high-level warlord rulers were not uncommon, given that the majority of sides were founded by such units. It was generally older sides that, like Jetstone, Transylvito, and Sofa King, were ruled by low level warlords that have known nothing but rulership. Okay, according to Wandas intelligence, Charlie only has around six hundred archons, Plus around seven hundred golems, mostly cloth designed by a contracted dollamancer named Claude Gauntlet and assisted in creation by archons, as a garrison, truly murderous emplaced defenses created by a contracted dirtamancer names Ivan Poe, who also contributed to the creation of the remaining golems, and twelve hundred etsies scattered throughout his territory that function as perimeter alarms -so unless he puts everything on the line, hes not decapitating this side. The other sides of the Royal Crown Coalition, on the other hand There are contingencies. Charlie attacking the other cities of Yojo Mojo was also disregarded as a serious threat, after fortifications. Hed need to send over one hundred for each city, and hed lose more archons than would be worth the prize. Whats the status of Ivan and Claude? Tanya asked. Claude was seen entering Charlescomms portal on a contract, while Ivan is nowhere to be found. Isaac reported, having been given that information from the Great Minds. Nowhere to be found was code in this case; one of the carnymancy tricks that Charlie possessed was creating a series of tunnels beneath otherwise-undiggable bedrock under the Magic Kingdom. Damn. Ivan was now in a position to do something to the portal. What exactly Ivan could do to it undetected wasnt really known to the Great Minds, so beyond putting some hefty defense golems in the portal room along with some fortifications to reduce the damage of explosives, there wasnt much else they could do. Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. Something the Minds did know is that Ivan wasnt sitting on some massive bomb that he could shove into the portal. Quite a few rocket launchers that gave any old unit a single siege attack of unknown but significant strength, but nothing that resembled a missile, C4, or a nuclear bomb, and they gave her a knowledge dump every single weapon they had in there. Unfortunately, the guns Charlie had stockpiled down there were unknown. They had absolutely no idea how effective they were, nor what kind of limitations they had. They used ammo, they could presumably be used by Archons, but beyond making them effectively archers they had nothing. How overpowered could they be, though? Ace wasnt able to recreate one with just the descriptions given, as the thinkamancers understanding of the structure of the guns were woefully insufficient for Ace to work with, and Tanyas knowledge didnt do much better. It was actually a little strange, how he was unable to make it work. Tanya knew quite a bit about firearm manufacture, after all. Janis had theorized, when consulted as a master signamancer, that guns were sort of a forbidden word. She had to explain that Language possessed words at varying levels of forbiddance, which explained the censorship filter that the spell imposed on her, and gun was at the lowest level of that, right below pain-word. Tanya could say this level, like die, but not anything of higher levels, like boop, boop, and boop. No one knows gun, and it was too far out of a concept for most units without some kind of concrete example. Carnymancy could probably get around this, if Charlie has them. Tanya really wished they had time to bring in Prince Jeftichew on this he was the only carnymancer that could possibly help them. But the Great Minds refused to bring Jeftichew to the secure area, so it was something that just got put off until it was too late. She thought the Great Minds were too stingy with their eavesdrop-proof meeting room. Ah, she should have had Sizemore just make a second one! Why didnt she think of that before? Ah, the places ones mind goes when ones facing a potential nuclear exchange, metaphorically. Are there any other matters? Tanya asked. No one said anything. Then dismissed. I want to be ready for a night-time infiltration squad, if he can do that. --------------------------- It took about seven turns of preparing further contingencies and watching for trouble that Charlie made his move. Tanya had sent a few of her knights to the column for general scouting duties, but more importantly, because unlike other scouts, Tanyas 76 move plus the move of one of her knights, even the 54 that the level 1 non-nobles get, was enough to get full vision of the whole column, with them spread out as they were. As Tanya had expected, Charlie decided that the column was a large enough threat to break out the guns instead of letting them crash against his citys defenses. How strong were they? The answer was: incredibly so. Tanya couldnt use Analysis through a scouts eyes, but it was Mathamancy, so by actually casting it she can examine observed phenomena and magically derive the underlying math behind them. By the looks of things, a gun in the hands of an Archon does twenty hits of damage at base. Not a twenty-sided die, just twenty. The Mecha could do more on a good damage roll, but not even Dwagons hit that hard. Against anything that wasn''t heavy? Basically an instacroak. Dwagons took a mere four shots to croak, sometimes only three. Fortunately, it still acted as Archery, and thus operated normally using combat rolls against defense rolls. The guns gave a +10 bonus to Combat, but piling on bonuses did the job. The issue was they acted as Archery. Which meant that the Archons didnt even need to enter the hex to use those weapons, and could attack with impunity to anyone who wasnt behind fortifications. The veil cloaks her scouts had helped her get a picture of things, and while Stanleys Arkenhammer had a function that protected his stack from bullets, a defensive shockamancy barrier, all of the other Decrypted just turned into dust. The rocket launchers acted like a purples breath, or other area-of-effect Siege special attack. Not only did it ignore the damage reduction objects normally enjoyed, but it did full damage, as if hitting the largest possible number of targets. In this case, the rockets did 5d10 hits against normal targets in an area, with a 150 cap, with a plus twenty to combat just to ensure it always worked. Yojo Mojos siege towers were probably the most resilient, and they only had 25 defense and 512 hits. Everyone else had substantially less. Taking one more attack to get destroyed was not exactly a big deal given the investment in training and twoll labor that required. Led by both the level 6 Ace and level 10 Ansom meant that the Mecha were substantially tougher targets, though. One of the little oddities of the Synchronization special is that it allowed Ace to treat the dirtamancy golems as dollamancy ones, although it only applied to the Mecha ones specifically. It was probably because the designs had some dollamancy principles in them? Who knows. With both in the stack, the Mecha had 42 defense, which was difficult for the rifles to beat. The ones that actually had the leadership had even higher defense ratings, fortunately. Tanya doubted that Charlie wasnt using something to counteract the penalty for shooting across a hex border. The Archons base rating of 6-11, depending on level, dollamancy +2, Arkendish bonus of +2 more (one stack gets +6 more from Charlie doing something), Chief Warlord bonus of +2, +4 stack bonus, most had at least a +2 leadership bonus, meant that the rifle wielding archons had 28 Combat at the low end, with 43 for the absolute strongest Archon, a level 9 with a +4 leadership bonus and Charlies direct bonus. Did Charlie use Carnymancy to make that Archon a Chief Warlord? Tanya couldnt really do anything to support their attack, of course. All she could really do is watch while the Royal Crown Coalitions units croak to the bullets, watch Charlies Archons level up more and more-Oop, Leadership Archon just leveled, and got a fifth point of Leadership. Lucky Fortunately, the Siege attacks couldnt cross the hex border, so Ansoms hex hasnt been hit with those yet. Transylvitos limited contributions have already been croaked, along with Jetstones attacks. Ace kept healing the Mecha up after each chunk that got blown out of it by a bullet. Fortunately, most of the hex was underneath the fortifications that the diggers had dug, so theyll have to come inside the hex to properly croak them. Note to self: Fortifications are effective against ordinary bullets. Hmmm Tanya started spending juice to fill in the variables. What is the probability that Ace and Ansom, asking for more seemed unwise, will manage to survive before Charlescomm runs out of ammunition? 60.927%. Ah, thats a good number, but it needs boosting. Is your Luckamancer friend, the Countess, available for work? Tanya asked Count Harbinger. Shes already at your portal. He said, a little smug as he took out a document and slid it across the table to her. Picking it up and reading the employment contract, Tanya nodded. Reasonable terms, given the circumstances. She signed it with her wand, the glittery pink ink showing a much more elaborate signature than she recalled using before. Must be a Queen thing. The instant she finished signing, Countess Fortuna walked into the portal and went straight to the Situation Room. As a ruler, Tanya could finely detect all units in the city, and track her by a pair of knights she had ordered to escort the allied caster, ordering replacements to rejoin the guard stack from elsewhere in the garrison. Countess Fortuna was a serious-looking woman, who wore a white business suit and a fedora, looking a bit like a mafia hitwoman. She wore high heels and jewelry enough that her nobility was obvious, but it just reminded Tanya of how her own wardrobe has changed over time. Well need to link up. You use Mathamancy, and keep the scout feed going. She explained, Anything further can be explained in the link. Count Harbinger nodded. Ive done some excellent work with Contessa- Hm, Prince Jack called her that too -while linked up with one of the Great Minds. Its like the path to victory unfolds before you, and you must merely take steps along it. Maggie held out her hands, and Tanya took it without hesitation. The Countess did so at exactly the same time. See it all. Tanya said suddenly, on impulse as Maggie started to wind their strings together. Open the Door. Countess Fortuna said, picking up where Tanya left off. Silver Dawn. Maggie said, before the familiar feeling of linking washed away her perception. --------------------------- Conflict is a matter of pairs. The Mathamancer explained. Every action has a number, and every reaction has a number to go with it. It is waves and particles. The Luckamancer elaborated. Only when observed is it a success or failure. We must match the wavelengths of attack and defense. The Thinkamancer said. But with the tiniest nudge to our side, of course. The Mathamancer added. The numbers must go somewhere, a price must be paid. The Luckamancer said, asking a question. Faq has a steep debt, Zero always calls. The Mathamancer decided as an answer. The coalitions forces were spread over twenty hexes. There were seve- six perspectives of flying scouts, hidden under veil cloaks and high in the air, keeping an eye on the battle. A tiny amount of juice increases the fidelity of the connection, the Thinkamancer managing the multi-threaded inputs so that they could pick and choose their expenses. Prioritize the Arkentools, our eyes, and our siege. The Mathamancer commanded. With the Arkenpliers, casualties can be replaced. The siege cannot. The Archons were still taking shots at the golems that protected the Siege towers with their rifles, refusing to enter the hex with their siege weapons. The fortifications protected all the remaining units in the hex, so they would need to use their Siege attacks to reveal them. While the rifles were powerful they were not Siege. The casters were rulers, so they spent juice on making precise orders. Step in this way, articulate your arm this far, each one representing a bare miss. Archery is the domain of Mathamancy, ballistics. This applied offensively but also defensively. Between the Mathamancers tracing the hitboxes between the barrage, the Thinkamancers coordination, and the luckamancers imposition of order on the chaos of the battlefield, Ansoms stack continued to lose hits steadily, as they blunted the inevitable crits instead of preventing them entirely. As the bullets dropped in effectiveness against the high value targets, the decrypted of Faq suffered in equal measure but didnt even notice. Eventually, the bent probabilities won out, and the Archons ran out of bullets. The Chief Archon sent in a single massive forty-stack of Archons wielding the rocket launchers while guided by Charlie directly, and the casters issued different orders, offensive ones: While their link-boosted foolamancy was clever, and they didnt even enter the hex from the same border as they appeared to be entering from the casters could see them just fine. Half of the archons croaked before being able to get their one attack in, and the rest was guided to miss just enough attacks and with the damage distribution nudged just enough to inflict lots of damage without actually croaking any of their units. Hits on the tower were distributed randomly to the diggers inside but that was something that can be manipulated with luckamancy. The other half of the archons croaked shortly thereafter. That wasnt to say that Charlie didnt inflict absolutely massive casualties. It would be faster to list the units that did survive: From Faq, literally just Stanley and Wandas stack. That stack had ten dwagons that were mounted by Stanley and nine casters, mind you, From Yojo Mojo: Ansom and Aces stack of Mecha, the siege towers they were protecting, the four 22-stacks of spidew cavalry that could fit in the fortifications, two archer knights and two with melee knights, the six scout knights, and thats about it. Not even Harold survived, as apparently Flower Power flat out fails against guns. Transylvitos contingent was completely destroyed. As was Sofa Kings and Unaroyals, with the sole exceptions being a few high value units that Prince Jeftichew protected with Carnymancy, specifically Lady Sylvia, Vanna, himself, and Princess Cruz. For some reason, the Archons declined to finish them off with shockamancy. Rockem had tried to erect and keep fortifications to protect some units, but he couldnt compete with the rocket launchers. In the end, his head flew out of the fortified position upwards in a rather amusing fashion. HobbitTM also managed to preserve some of their numbers, as Grandelf was apparently a wizard with granting just the right special to help, pun intended. He didnt keep a lot of their forces alive, but they saved both casters, their Chief Warlord, and their Gumps, through some sort of plant-only weirdomancy trick. In most circumstances, this would be a war-winning move on the part of Charlie. Against the Arkenpliers? It just wasnt enough. The instant the turn started, Wanda decrypted every single fallen unit that was not already part of Faq, plus a few that were, mostly Stanleys Dwagons. The question was what else did Charlie have up his sleeve? Chapter 25 Accidentally posted it early on Spacebattles, so enjoy it here too. ------------- With the majority of the column decrypted, it wasn''t quite at full strength, but it was about two-thirds the strength it started with. Transylvito''s golems and Jetstone''s battle bears were a loss, as were the siege towers that didn''t belong to Yojo Mojo, which were about 90% of them. The decrypted Archons, although none of them were particularly high ranking, reported that while they didn''t know details, Charlie had put the entire city on high alert. They confirmed the seven hundred golem figure, although as he was activating contingencies, that number of golems may have increased substantially. How big were the golems? For the majority of the defense golems, not as big as the mecha, surprisingly, and made to be efficient with their stats rather than going for the strongest possible units. Stats were 8/8/60 with an upkeep of 160 reduced to 40, although some number of them were probably properly Garrison, which halved it again and needed carnymancy to accomplish, which meant they were a bit worse at attacking with 75% the hits in return for a third of the upkeep. Yep, if she was making a bunch of defense golems, this would be preferable in comparison to the Mecha. She also approved of making the dollamancy and dirtamancy mainline golems match on the basic stats, so they can be more easily made interchangeable. About five hundred of the seven hundred golems were like that. About eighty were bigger, matches for Battle Bears but with much less move and thus slightly less upkeep. The rest were more eclectic, experiments by Charlie''s best casters as they developed the institutional knowledge required to make Charlescomm so defensible. Either they count as additional troops or additional traps, either way it confounded the accuracy of mathamancy predictions, which was definitely something Charlie did on purpose. As if the inherent variability of an Archon didn''t already do that. Claude Gauntlet was level 6, lower than Tanya expected but he apparently had been a barbarian for most if not all of his life and if he had ever croaked a unit, it was a long, long time ago. Ivan Poe was stronger, however, at level 9. In the event that Charlecomm gets attacked, Ivan Poe had a special customized stack of golems with guns to lead, although Tanya questioned the benefits of having eight units all with different points, abilities, and equipment instead of having a standard squad that would be easier to lead Why couldn''t they all be as Heavy as the big one, with the minigun? In other words, expect a +3 bonus on the dollamancy golems as Claude was in the city and a +5 on the dirt golems, which are thankfully rarer, because Ivan is supposed to be there even if they don''t know for sure whether he is or not. Assume Ivan''s special stack is led by him. What else was there to confound the mathamancy Well, they still didn''t know exactly how much stronger the emplaced guns are in comparison to the rifles, and Charlie still has all the bullets he needs for those. Each firearm accessory had a customized caliber, they didn''t use shared ammunition like certain logistics-savvy militaries may have. Well, also the fact that the Great Minds weren''t entirely certain if their Lookamancy was accurate, the Arkendish was certainly capable of confounding Lookamancy, but they used teamwork in an attempt to overpower the interference. They thought they succeeded, but Charlie was very aware of their actions, at a minimum. The fidelity was also significantly lower than she was accustomed to from Isaac''s Lookamancy efforts. She was rather curious as to that gigantic electrical something wired beneath his portal room, but she couldn''t see it clearly. Was it a bomb? "I believe I''ve deciphered the nature of this accessory." Announced Prince Jack, who had been hired for his expertise on Count Harbinger''s suggestion. "It''s very special. The ammunition isn''t even dollamancy! No, it''s dirtamancy. This is a knight-portable explosive cannon trap and I love it!" Charlie wasn''t so sloppy as to leave behind any rifles for them to examine, but a small number of the RPGs were able to be salvaged from the failed attempt to destroy their siege, which was a lot closer of a call than she liked, in hindsight. Thankfully, they had the Great Mind''s support, and with it came a host of allied and subordinate casters that are willing to risk themselves on this venture, and Tanya was just as willing to pay them for that risk. "That makes sense." Tanya said, thinking about it. "Fundamentally, a gun uses an explosive charge to propel a projectile, no different than the tension on a bowstring. Explosions are dirtamancy. I suppose you could substitute shockamancy to make a railgun or coilgun but shockamancy accessories already exist, so it might not be as effective as the dirtamancy" "That is truly fascinating." Prince Jack said sincerely. "But I must point out that this weapon has an additional requirement to use. It''s a common thing for certain sides, in order to make accessories more difficult for other sides to emulate. In this case, it requires an exotic proficiency special, one that does not exist: Sapper (RPG). I assume the rifles require a similar one, perhaps Archery (Rifle), the emplaced guns Ballistician (Gatling), or whatever." Tanya tilted her head. "So Charlie gives his archons items that give them that special?" She asked. "No!" Prince Jack said, "But I like your thinking. No, it doesn''t work that way. Proficiency specials like Stabber, Axeman, Archery, or even Miner, which I won''t go into right now, are not something you can merely put on a belt and suddenly have." He shows off his fashionable belt, which Analysis said gave him a Barrier like hers. "They define a unit, accessories can''t change the nature of a unit. The trick, and it is a trick, is that this accessory has incorporated carnymancy to ignore the proficiency requirement, effectively granting the special to whoever holds it." Tanya frowned. "Wait, but everyone else suddenly knew how to operate it when holding it." It didn''t work for her, sadly, but she assumed that''s a side effect of her origins. "Who''s the weirdomancer here?" Prince Jack said rhetorically. "It makes perfect sense, trust me. It doesn''t work for you because you don''t have any proficiency specials." She doesn''t? "Well, any weapon proficiency specials. You do have the etiquette special as a subset of your Royal special, and that''s a proficiency one. You didn''t have that one the first time we met." "By that do you mean etiquette, or Royal in general?" Tanya asked, curious. Did the spell make her a princess, or did the crown? "The former. You had the most anemic and incomplete Royal special I''ve ever seen when I first saw you, but it was there." Prince Jack replied, smiling sharply. "I''ve been told that crown completed it? Interesting trick, I''d like to study it." "Moving on," Tanya said, ignoring his request. "Could you replicate the carnymancy effect?" Tanya asked. "Without a carnymancer to link with?" Prince Jack asked. Tanya nodded. "Having a sample definitely helps" After a moment, he shrugged. "...I didn''t live as long as I have by experimenting with explosives. I''ll try if you get me one of the rifles." He tapped the RPG. "My gut says this will explode if I try, and these are single use. I trust my gut feelings. With a few turns to experiment, I might be able to make a weirdomancy spell that grants the relevant special, but that solution obviously has problems." Namely, they''d need a supply of non-carnied rifles first, and could then only use them when hiring him, unless She''d need to get good enough at dittomancy to duplicate scrolls. Okay, that was fair. "Okay, are there any other variables we need to account for?" Tanya asked, looking at Count Harbinger. The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. "I believe we''ve covered it." He said, "We have unit counts, a basic understanding of their unit strength, and approximations of their traps and other defenses." Tanya turned to Sizemore. "How many traps do we have in our own portal room, anyway?" She asked, "I distinctly recall ordering some made." "Eight." Sizemore immediately replied. "Charlie has eighty" Tanya mused. It was one of the pieces of intelligence the Decrypted Archons provided. "I''m authorizing an additional thirty caster levels of juice from the Shock Exchange. Reinforce it." Focusing, Tanya prepared to cast a spell. "Flipside." The juice went straight down her middle, and her world started to fold but then the spell collapsed. "Flipside!" She said as she tried again. A duplicate of herself stepped outside of her body. Success. "Let''s brainstorm." The other Tanya said, immediately going straight to work. "We have to assume the worst case, which is Archons with guns. We''ll get plenty of warning from the Great Minds if he tries anything less sneaky." "But what about the RPGs?" Sizemore asked, standing up and following the other Tanya down into the dungeons. She''ll manage the juice transfers from the Shock Exchange. Turning away from them and refocusing on the tactical map, Tanya hummed. "Are there any other variables we can suss out?" She asked. "None that I can think of." Count Harbinger said, to the general agreement of the various casters. Hm perhaps she should retain an experienced warlord for these meetings but they all joined the column. "Cast your spell, then." Tanya requested. "Hodge, Reimann, Navier-Stokes." Wait, she recognized that middle one. Wasn''t that an unsolvable math equation? "...Odds are hazy." He admitted. "Too many unknown variables, the Arkendish is spoofing me, I think. But with our assumptions and projections, we have a 92.481% chance of success, under the definitely-wrong assumption that he only uses what we know he can do with the Arkendish and doesn''t pull out anything new." Mathamancy can draw certain kinds of unknown information from nothing, but that was usually things like unit counts that were a bit more precise than your intel, the exact level distributions, current ammunition supplies, things like that. "I consulted with Predictamancer Lavere, and she confirms that this turn is a momentous turning point. She will be unable to provide any useful information beyond the previous intelligence on relevant predictions." Maggie volunteered. "That''s predictamancer lingo for ''shut up and let me manipulate events in my favor'', by the way." Prince Jack offered. "You won''t believe the kinds of things predictmancers can get up to on turns like these. They call it a momentous turning point because it''s like a corner, they can''t see past it. But they can see the point itself just fine, and that makes them some of the most annoyingly powerful casters when it happens." Well that was good? She thinks. "I''m not sure I understand how that works." She says, asking for clarification. "I don''t really understand how it works." Prince Jack admitted. "If I did, I''d be a predictamancer. Something about their short-term predictions, their combat magic, getting a boost? Not sure. They basically become Luckamancers on turns like these, but better." "I''ve never been able to understand Predictamancy either, sadly." Count Harbinger added, "Can''t wrap my head around it. Mathamancy has some predictive ability, and I did do some Looking Up last night, but I didn''t find anything I thought was useful. Three Rands for the write-up." "Done." Tanya said, taking the paper and reading it. It was a spreadsheet, with units in the column as the columns, and actions as the rows. The intersections were presumably simplified, as he put a simple ''good'', ''okay'', ''bad'' rating for each one. "What am I looking at?" She asked. "Luckamancy manipulates the numbers generated for each unit." Count Harbinger summarized, "But those numbers aren''t made on the spot. They''re made every night, new Look Up tables generated while Erfworld sleeps. Actions I''ve labeled good are going to go well without needing Luckamancy this turn, at least for the first hundred or so rolls. If they''re ''okay'', it''s either average or it''s all over the place without any trends." That explained why it was the most common indicator. "Of course, ''bad'' is the opposite of ''good''. As I said, nothing really stood out to me as useful." Tanya wanted to disagree, but she doubted knowing that Ansom should avoid falling this turn in particular was going to be useful, nor that Ace''s spot checks for veils would be particularly high this turn. Well, knowing such in advance didn''t seem that useful. Also, her own casting rolls being ''poor'' is information that came too late. She''ll have to avoid using her more difficult spells today. Still, she doesn''t begrudge the Count an honest paycheck. "Anything further or should we order the attack?" Tanya asked. After a moment of negative responses, Tanya sent the signal to Ansom that their pre-battle divinations and preparations were complete. When Ansom and Wanda receive such notices from everyone, they are to begin the attack. Fortunately, inter-hex time shenanigans meant that all of these notices arrived at the same time, mere minutes after Wanda sent the intelligence back to the various sides lending support. The distance between Gowin Knob and Charlescomm was only 119 hexes, so Tanya could just barely get reception from the scout special of her few remaining knights. Now, to link back up to provide support. --------------------------- Every facet of a city invasion included trade-offs. The primary question one had to answer, before anything else, was ''how many angles of attack were you going to use?'' An airspace assault meant that not only were all of the units on the walls useless, but they were now loot, as they automagically become imprisoned when the city is captured. Units deployed in the tunnels, if they exist, were the same way. On the other hand, attacking the airspace exposed you to the tower. A fully spelled up tower was, generally speaking, something that meant you were going to lose a lot of your attacking force before you even close in. If your enemy had airspace defenders and a warlord or worse, a caster directing the tower shots intelligently? Losing a stack of dwagons per city level was not out of the question when facing sides that had a master-class shockamancer. A ground assault had to go through walls, which were tough nuts to crack. Nigh impossible without siege except for low level cities or ones that decided that they didn''t need walls, which was not unreasonable for cities that were sufficiently isolated, as city zones operated on a point buy system so forgoing walls significantly improved one''s ability to, for example, protect against air attacks. You know, assuming those enemy fliers didn''t decide to just land and walk into your city, bypassing the nastiest of your anti-air defenses. But she''s gone on a tangent. Charlescomm was heavily fortified with traps no matter what you were dealing with, and it was assumed to have a lot of shockamancy on hand for anti-air operations. Particularly because he had a lot of shockamancy traps that drew from the city''s shockamancy stores, which meant that attack at all angles was still viable. He''ll run out eventually, after all. In the end, though, she''s not actually in charge of those kinds of strategic decisions; it goes down to a vote between the Chief Warlords, in this case Stanley, Ansom, and Cruz. If there was an even number alive, Stanley would be the tiebreaker on the basis of his level. This was a compromise between Faq and the rest of the alliance, because no one wanted Stanley in charge, as under normal royal alliance etiquette he would be on the basis of his level alone. Tanya would ordinarily think the measure detestably hypocritical but she''s heard stories of Stanley''s bone-headed decisions from Maggie and Sizemore, even if Sizemore insisted that Stanley was a far better Chief Warlord than ruler. Also, Ansom seemed to be following her orders to always judge Stanley''s ideas on their own merits, and not poorly simply because they were his idea. So Tanya was not terribly surprised that it ended up with Stanley attacking the airspace with all of the air units while Ansom attacked the front gate with everything else. What was surprising was that Charlie had his own Shock Exchange, only his was better, somehow. Archons flitted around the air, dazzling and distracting the Royal Crown Coalition''s fliers, while a three-stack of archons took Charlie''s personal attention, standing directly on the Arkendish, and directed the tower''s shockamancy at a pace that was, frankly, absurd. More importantly, they Just. Kept. Shooting. The anti-air guns were bad enough, but the amount of shockamancy that those archons were able to output would have cost nearly half a million shmuckers through the Shock Exchange, and while they didn''t have the potency of Tanya''s wand-enhanced shockamancy, it also didn''t require an intermediate step, the linked Archons taking the juice directly and translating it into anti-air spells. Attacking the walls didn''t do much better. The walls were breached easily enough, but even they were lined with traps that the archons didn''t even know about, as they were mostly stray wires that unloaded an inefficient shockamancy unload on any digger that tried to breach, and that croaked half of the diggers before they finally breached. Explosive traps and siege doors were everywhere in the garrison, and Wanda'' waves of decryption could only do so much to keep the fight going, after having had to use that to blunt Charlie''s preemptive attack. They intervened, nudging attacks away from the high-value targets so they could live longer, improving the offensive capabilities of the archer knights so they could take out archons who tried to use foolamancy defenses, and helping them avoid some of the traps But in the end, the defenses of Charlescomm were just too much. The gatling guns were even more effective than they predicted, equivalent to a full stack of rifles using automatic fire. The shockamancy traps just didn''t run out of juice. They just kept being active, no matter how many units they croaked. Stanley was turned to dust first of the Chiefs, only after every single dwagon was defeated, some of them twice-over. Wanda croaked from falling, as she was being supported by the Arkenhammer''s flight. She stood back up immediately, having decrypted herself, but she was in the firing arc of one of the gatling guns and didn''t last long. "Well the good news is, we''ve probably seen all of his tricks." Tanya said after they unlinked, the last of their units croaked. "The bad news, of course, being that they were very good tricks." Prince Jack offered from the work table that he was examining a rifle they had managed to send back with hat magic. "What''s your read on the rifles?" Tanya asked the puppetmaster. "Well, beyond them being, in my opinion, deliciously OP" Prince Jack began, which caused several of the casters to gasp in shock. The reaction made his grin widen. "I''m going to need carnymancy scrolls in order to reproduce them, although they don''t need to be exactly the right spell, I think. Could someone go buy up as many as you can for me?" "Done." Isaac said, "Will dittomancy duplicates of the scroll suffice?" "Make sure it''s the right spell if you do." Prince Jack replied, "I know there''s a carnymancy scroll flitting around that''s usually used to let a warlord use a ballista, get copies of those." Now it was time for Charlie''s counterattack. Chapter 26 Within the next ten turns, every single member of the Royal Crown Coalition besides Yojo Mojo were destroyed by Charlsecomms gun-wielding Archons. Every turn, Tanya duplicated herself cheaply and promoted the duplicate to Chief Warlord, and with the anti-gun measures they had put in place, the odds of Charlie successfully sacking Gobwin Knob remained small. Charlie probably knew this, because he didnt try his luck. This was mostly because Prince Jack was very well paid to keep them supplied with their own guns, and he didnt need a link to do it, just a supply of stored carnymancy. Tanya had, after some two-person links to get her started, managed to learn how to duplicate scrolls, so that lowered the cost. Sizemore had created a wand of create ammo for her to use as well, which was critical for one of the fallback plans. Unfortunately it was all they could do to just keep vigilant for whatever Charlie had up his sleeve. Their finances were such that after losing so many troops their income was not only positive, but large, so they had a while before they really needed to do anything but defense. The good news was that if Charlie had managed to unlock the powers of the Arkenhammer and Arkenpliers he didnt dare reveal that fact. Tanya assumed he was building back up his forces and ammunition stockpile, as he spent his effort on political games against the Great Minds in the Magic Kingdom instead of directly attacking Yojo Mojos fortified positions. It was a stand-off. Theoretically, Yojo Mojos strength was growing at a greater pace than Charlescomms, just from the number of cities each has. But will that matter? -in summary, the Great Minds Who Think Alike are free casters, Tanya explained, -much like the collected Qualified, and they can choose to take on whatever contract, both informal and non, are in their best interests. Charlescomm is a threat to Yojo Mojos security, and were hired to oppose him in return for payment. Nothing unusual there. The jury of Qualified casters, which was a term for a barbarian caster that had earned enough esteem among their peers to be considered officially trustworthy with matters that concerned the Magic Kingdom as a whole, mulled over her testimony. Being hired was one thing, but the neutrality of the Magic Kingdom was considered paramount, so Charlies accusations of the Great Minds being the architects of the Royal Crown Coalition, if true, would be cause for censure. Why, Asked Varius Sundry, a Qualified Weirdomancer, -did you hire the entirety of the Great Minds? I was opposing the Arkendish. It seemed prudent. Tanya said with a straight face. There is a Prediction bringing myself and Charlie into conflict. While Im skeptical as to the necessity of it, I had it on good authority that Charlie was a man who both knew and took it seriously. Nonsense. Said the projection of Charlie, who was being projected by a foolamancer hired by Charlescomm to allow him to be present. Charlescomm would never go to violence when a peaceful resolution is on the table. Our goal is to make money to pay for upkeep, just like everyone else here. Charlie, shut yer yap when its not your turn to talk. Said Buck Nugget, Qualified Dirtamancer. Can any Predictamancer confirm the presence of such a prediction? Asked Hatfield McCoy, also known as MC Hattie. She was a Ringmaster, a master of all three stagemancy disciplines. Carniac, a Predictamancer with a fancy turban that screamed Las Vegas performer, spoke up. Charlies croaking is Predicted to be by the hand of someone specific, yes. He said evasively. But not by name, per se. He brought out a letter from his robe. More a description. Which would need to be entered into the record if we are to confirm whether or not it applies. Irrelevant. Tanya said, dismissing the evasion. The key issue in dispute here is whether the Great Minds overstepped and compromised the Magic Kingdoms neutrality in the Royal Crown Coalitions war against Charlescomm. The specifics as to why the war was waged is a tangent that does not need deeper exploration. Really, this was all performative. The Magic Kingdom needed to put on a show like this every time someone raised a fuss about the neutrality being compromised. I disagree. The winged symbol that was Charlies representation said, Because I happen to know that description, and it is of someone who should not be in this world. Someone Blasphemous. Oh? Said MC Hattie, Could you elaborate for us, Overlord Charlie? If you plan on spinning a yarn about my origins, Carny, you can go ahead and stuff it. Tanya snapped. They need to know, Queen Tanya. Charlie said, Also, your insistence on calling me a carnymancer is growing tiresome. Do they also need to know your true appearance, you paralyzed whale? Tanya asked, I was able to see it during the battle, when we Looked into your defenses. The Arkendishs interference with Lookamancy weakened during the battle, but more importantly the Great Minds had the perfect excuse to just blow past it with their collaborative spellcasting trick. While they were very cagey as to the limits or lack thereof of what they could accomplish by performing a synchronization technique similar to but distinct from a three-caster link, but out-muscling the Arkendish was one of them although they never tested it in a direct clash, so the boast wasnt quite confirmed. The fact that they could also penetrate the impermeable material that the Temple was made of and the bedrock that Ivan Poe hid underneath she could understand their caution. Thats enough! Buck Nugget shouted. ThQueens right, the predictions not important. It was a thing, the Royals used it as an excuse to go attack Charlescomm. He scowled at Tanya. Or are you gonna deny that yall just wanted to loot Charlecomms treasury? The majority of the Coalition wanted that, yes. Tanya admitted freely. Its nearly one hundred fifty million, after all. The Arkendish also obfuscated his treasury from moneymancers, but that too was able to be divined. There was a massive gasp among the collected casters at the figure. ...You sure about that? Buck Nugget asked. Tanya gave an imperious look to the dirtamancer. Im sure, Boop Nugget. She smirked at her own little joke, only willing to say it because of the automagical censorship. Normally, the Arkendish obscures his treasury, but with the Great Minds assistance that interference was accounted for. One hundred forty-eight million shmuckers and change was his treasury during the battle. Also, his Shmuckers didnt deplete during the battle as his tower recharged, so whatever he had to substitute for the Shock Exchange, it didnt use moneymancy. What was the price he pays? Does he pay one at all? The only sides that werent in it for the shmuckers were Faq, who wanted the Arkendish, and Yojo Mojo, who agreed to the endeavor under King Ansoms reign, and whose reasoning were to improve his odds of accessing the contents of Queen Jillians knickers. There was some laughter from the audience at that line. What about you? Varius Sundry asked, What motivated the great Caster-Warlady Queen to fight? It was a precondition for Ansoms abdication that I allow him his war. Tanya lied, But the money didnt hurt one bit. The only reason Im even here to discuss this court case is because my capital is too fortified for Charlie to take me out, unlike all of my former allies. Charlescomm doesnt start wars. Charlie said agreeably. But we do finish them. Thats a Charlescomm guarantee. Wanda may not have been able to get any particularly high clearance archons, but they made sure to get as much as they could from them. Charlies rule number three: We are in the business of solving problems for our clients. Corollary: Causing problems for our clients makes business. In other words Ox Crap. Now thats just slander. Charlie said smoothly. Shaddup, both of yas. Buck Nugget said, slamming his fist on the table the panel of Qualified were seated at. I think thats all the testimony we need, anyone else wanna ask the rulers stuff while we have em here? I got one. Said Shockamancer Castle Punisher, one of the few naughtymancers that have mastered both Shockamancy and Croakamancy, earning the unofficial multi-mastery title of Frank. I heard you were going around calling yourself a shockamancer. Whats up with that? Tanya shrugged. I possess an artifact that lets me use higher level shockamancy than I otherwise would. Its useful, although Im the only one that can use it properly. When I first came to the magic kingdom, it was the only magic I could cast reliably. The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. Hm. Now, you can cast how many was it, again? Asked Varius Sundry. Tanya counted on her fingers for effect. Six. None at Master-level, I dont count the shockamancy, even if the power is at that tier. Moneymancy, Mathamancy, Date-a-mancy, Foolamancy, Rhyme-o-mancy, and Dittomancy, in that order for competency, four at adept and two novice. Shes thought about finishing off the axis with weirdomancy, but hasnt gotten around to it. The trick is that each discipline requires a different mindset, a different understanding on how the world works. Its a lot easier to understand as an outsider looking in, as I dont need to make other disciplines fit my own worldview, I adapt my thinking to each discipline instead. And understanding that this world was essentially a wargame made by the Titans made thinking of things in terms of numbers, game mechanics, and programming a lot easier. Well, maybe eight if you count really minor tricks I can only barely use. Shes learned two minor thinkamancy tricks, and she can use a little bit of shockamancy without her wand by now. Its just much weaker, but if she ever finds herself unarmed, being able to conjure a lightsaber will be very useful. The collected casters burst into private discussions on her words. I would be happy to conduct lectures on my findings of numbers axis magic and the commonalities and differences Ive noted. Tanya offered to the collected casters. For a small fee from the attendees, of course. The Grand Bargain among the magic kingdom largely prevents casters from spying on such things, but that only applied to the barbarian casters. Also, Tanya got the impression that the Great Minds were largely amused by people thinking that they couldnt get around it. Noted. Announced Buck. Now, anyone else? So what do you plan to do now? Asked the now-barbarian Prince Jeftichew. How he managed to survive she didnt really know, but a lot of the Royal Crown Coalitions surviving casters had managed to make their way to the Magic Kingdom. The crowds clearly curious. Classified. Tanya immediately said. Were done here. She continued, turning on her heel and walking away. There was no way she was telling them that she had no idea how to break this stand-off. --------------------------- In the end, the legal strategy of slinging mud at Charlie every time he tried to do something worked out, and Charlie was unable to secure a censure for the Great Minds. The former territories of the Royal Crown Coalition were being eaten up and split off to other sides, with sides like Haggar, Carpool, Metroland, and even further off sides filling in the gaps the coalition in general and Faq in particular left in the landscape. Yojo Mojo remained an unassailable bastion, aggressively defending their borders but claiming no city sites beyond their fortified position. . They discussed plans with the Great Minds, experimented with links, and overall just kept on living, practicing magic and socializing in the Magic Kingdom among their friends and acquaintances. Eventually, a message in the form of a solitary Archon was sent, ending their turn one hex away from Gobwin Knob. With the comfortable barrier of a hex border, during neither of their turns (one of the side-effects of the whole affair was that Yojo Mojos turn was no longer at the end of the day, as there are plenty of new sides in the battlespace), Tanya got to speak to Charlie one on one. The face that Charlie projected for this exchange was a woman for some reason, wearing a red suit to go with her long platinum blond hair and clown-like makeup. The persona looked earnest and trustworthy for some reason, so Tanya immediately distrusted it. To be sure, she added to her own perception with foolamancy a rendition of Charlies real body, minus the paralysis, to match the Clown-Charlies body language. You couldnt make yourself not see something with foolamancy, it didnt make any sense, but adding extra worked fine. You just saw both at once. Okay, so we both have a mutual problem: both of us are tying down a bunch of defenses protecting against the other, neither of us can go all that way and still be able to do the extermination of the other. Charlie explained peppily. So I have a proposal. A magical solution that will make everyone happy! Tanya raised an eyebrow. Oh? I doubt that, but it would be against my principles to not at least hear you out. After all, she could croak the [Lucy Dawn, level 6 Archon (duplicate)] high level archon that he risked to deliver this message in a way that was safe for her. Point is, she loses nothing by humoring him for now. So, Wanda managed to tell you about our Deal. Charlie said to start off. The Deal of a Lifetime. It was the now-deceased Jack Snipe, but yes. Tanya said in agreement. So, you heard about the Arkenshoes, and how they will return you home. Charlie continued. Tanyas eyes widened as she paid very close attention to his words. You dont belong here, Tanya. But while the full power of the Arkenshoes is beyond even my ability to emulate Returning you home is well within my power. Tanyas immediate thought was Japan. Skyscrapers, Internet Mother and Father. All of those years of studiously ignoring the topic of her old life came crashing back as homesickness threatened to overwhelm her. But with a deep breath, Tanya steeled her gaze and looked Charlie right in the face. How? She asked. I was one of the ones who designed Judy Gales Perfect Warlord spell, you know. Few people understand the underpinnings of it better than I do. He said eagerly. Theres a tension between where you came from and here. The spell continually reinforces the bindings that keep you here, powered by your upkeep. Dissolve them and youll go snapping back, safe and sound. Out of this Hell. Tanyas interest vanished. Pass. She said immediately. While its interesting to know that failing to pay upkeep will likely send me back to the Empire, She used the Imperial language rather than English to name the place, -rather than kill me, I have no desire to go back. I have no place there. Charlies projection stilled, shifting around with some idle animations to obfuscate that fact. Seeing a bald fat man in a suit play with nonexistent hair like a schoolgirl was fairly amusing, though. I see. He said, both the high-pitched kind voice of the red Charlie and the sickly groan of the blue Charlie ringing out to Tanyas perspective. Youve been summoned more than once. He concluded. By a different mechanism, but it is true. Tanya admitted, I will concede that youre rather clever for figuring it out on such thin information. This worlds a dream in comparison to the war I was staring at there. Of course, it makes perfect sense. What could be better, a more Perfect Warlord than one that was already summoned by someone else? Charlie said, the red one inserting artificial glee in the voice. Hes not quite hit the mark, but close enough. I imagine the actual Arkenshoes might be able to return me to my original world, but thats not something your spell can promise. Tanya said, So I will decline your offer. I do, however, appreciate the thought behind it. If it worked, it would truly be a solution that could benefit both in theory. Thinking about it, taking him up on such an offer would also be dooming all of her non-caster units, abandoning them to their fates. She supposed she could promote an heir, like Visha, but Charlie would assuredly croak the lot of them as soon as he could. No, she couldnt do that to them. Theyre her loyal subjects, and she their Queen. She has a responsibility to them, commiserate with the level of authority she has over them. She must spend their lives well, preserve her human resources as much as she can, and give them as much ability to enter the City of Heroes as she can grant them, as appropriate to their personal beliefs. Well, its a shame, then. I was hoping I wouldnt have to do this. Charlie said grimly. Suddenly, the Jojos broke alliance. Not only that, but the various dwagons that were both garrisoned and popped in the last few tenturns turned to Charlescomm. Tanya immediately used a chunk of juice to enhance her natural ability to issue orders as a ruler, sending a much more information dense instruction than typical to everyone simultaneously, activating the contingency plan for just this situation. Gunfire rang out as Yojo Mojo crippled their own defenses and spent a large fraction of their anti-air capabilities, but not a single city fell to his attempt. Damn it, Charles, how did you get past Mojo the Jojos helmet? What about his helmet, Charles? Bah. That bastard, Being X-man, couldnt do any better. You have exactly one turn to get the fuck away from my battlespace. Charlie said dangerously, the red Charlies form becoming demonic, horns growing and a flaming eye emerging between them, claws growing as their fist closed around a rendition of the Arkenhammer. Id tell you to ask Wanda how much a prediction against me is worth but shell have to stay an object lesson of why you dont fuck with Charlescomm. Ah. Well, Im sure you know why the boop I cant reflect the sentiment, but Tanya saluted him with two fingers, one on each hand. She had plenty after those, so she made sure to give him the biggest ones. I can still do this. Charlie barked out a laugh. Face it, Queenie. I win. Thats what being Charlie is all about. Winning. For now. Tanya allowed. Ill just have to activate the contingency plan. On cue, Yojo Mojos turn began. She drew her pistol and shot the Archon duplicate in the head, cutting the call short as it poofed away. --------------------------- While Tanya was prepared to just ditch everything and flee to the Magic Kingdom if necessary, the actual contingency to leave if given a turn to do so was a bit more complex. First, she needed to confirm Charlies victory. Isaac was no longer on retainer, but he was perfectly willing to do more contract Lookamancy most days, so she knew exactly where Charlies strike force was and its composition. With a little bit of mathamancy Ouch. Maybe if she Well, thats better, but how about if she thirty percent chance of victory at most? Yeah no. With the necessity now confirmed, she started by ordering all the rifle squads, each of which was composed of her knights stacked into reinforced 16-stacks led by a Noble warlord that was fully accessorized, to deploy. They had one stack for each of the nine cities, plus her three rapid-response stacks. Then, she activated pre-prepared moneymancy-dirtamancy traps that liquidated everything outside the capital. Units, accessories, the bodies from the tribes betrayal, the cities themselves everything. It used the remaining juice in the towers to help power it in addition to the massive amount of juice invested in the traps themselves, so it was able to get most of the shmuckers. Even without the spells, razing eight level five cities gave a little over three million shmuckers, so the boost of four million was appreciated. As painful as it was, to do such a thing after committing to her sides prosperity Charlie was right. He had won. So while she could just do this and go to the Magic Kingdom she wasnt. She couldnt save them, nor could she get them a thrilling battle in the time allotted, so back into The Box with them. At least it wasnt Hellabad. Afterwards, Tanya turned the entire treasury into gems, putting each one down her shirt into the storage space that Ace had installed, and called her casters to the Magic Kingdom portal. Im afraid that the math is grim. Charlies known forces, which were thinkagrammed to me by Isaac as I prepared, have a 94% chance of razing the capital. Our forces are crippled, and even my most expensive contingencies cannot save us. So, we are activating contingency F. For flee. Also Boop it. As such, you are each entitled to a bag of forty gems for your upkeep before you go into the Magic Kingdom. They had to be small enough for them to be able to hold each in their purse, meaning five thousand each. In the event that Yojo Mojo is refounded, I would hope that you seriously consider turning rather than remaining a barbarian, but it will not be required. I would never consider otherwise. Maggie was quick to say. Elya grinned. Ill be waiting for you, my queen. Keep Visha alive for me, will you? Sizemore smiled awkwardly. Ill think about it. He said honestly. Fair. Janis will probably tell me to do it, anyway. She enjoys your talks with her. That finished, Tanya took Visha and all two hundred and three gun-toting fliers, with a total upkeep of somewhere in the realm of twenty-four thousand per turn, downgraded the capital to level 1, made even more gems to stuff down her blouse, and flew straight south, far away from Charlescomm. Lets just see what Fate has to say about that. Pit her against the most powerful side in Erfworld? Yeah, shes not putting her hand in that wood chipper a second time. Itll be nice to see other parts of Erfworld, anyway. Chapter 2.01 With a total upkeep that could be rounded up to twenty-five thousand shmuckers per turn, that meant every million shmuckers that she carted off was equivalent to forty turns of upkeep. She had to spend some juice to tabulate all of the shmuckers held in the frankly absurd number of gems in her dress, but it was every so slightly less than ten million in total. They had harvested about fifteen million total from the three mines they depleted with a link, they spent about four million on getting juice to accessorize stuff, including the firearms, one million on various diplomatic bribes, and was able to reclaim the four million or so that was spent on upgrading their cities. So despite a quantity of money that was rightly seen as absurd, all it amounted to was setting the doom clock to four hundred turns. About thirteen months. Which, you know, for her, Visha, and their two hundred and three subordinates, actually sounded about right. She had about thirty wands stashed in her dress loaded with various simple and cheap utility spells, although they also functioned as an additional juice supply, as they had half a caster level of battery each. Small for wands, but perfect for her needs given her ability to hook them up to her artifact wands power supply. A wand was considered good if it had twice that much, and the best wands had double that. Anything more was seen as a vanity project more than anything actually useful, due to the increasingly large juice requirements to create such a large battery. They traveled about fifty hexes per turn, using the spare move to forage, hunt, and scout out the area around their last hex. They usually stuck to mountain and heavy forest hexes, but in a pinch lake hexes were also pretty useful. She made sure to keep Ansoms old flying carpet, specifically to use as a mid-air bed. It didnt fit in her dress, so she just rode on it while it was rolled up like a motorcycle like Ansom did. It boosted her move by a little bit in doing so, but as a flier already it didnt do much more than that. On the way, they did a little fund-razing, to extend the doom clock, but their top priority was increasing the distance between them and Charlescomm. Give us one hundred thousand shmuckers and we will refrain from razing your cities. Tanya demanded from the prince that had answered her demand for parley. Alternatively, give us double that and we will instead spend the next four turns razing the cities of your enemies. No! Shouted the prince. This is Dancia, and we will not be intimidated by your raiders! He struck a pose, boasting his dance-fighting special. Tanya stared at him. This is a level 3 city. Our odds of taking the city are ninety-seven percent. That figure was without guns. The 203 Aerial Knights Battalion have you rather substantially outgunned. This is your last chance to comply. Never! Then, out of respect for your bravery, if not your intelligence, I will allow you to fortify your position before beginning our attack. Tanya said. While she, as a barbarian, would be largely disrespected anyway, as royalty she was still expected to fight honorably, particularly if she wanted to claim the social benefits of that. After the Prince went to stack up on his tower, Tanya silently issued combat orders to her knights, spending juice to communicate using their heartstrings instead of the old ruler channels, which no longer exist. Prioritize leveling up warlords and the level 1 knights. While she could use the wand she got from Elya to balance out moves, the more total move points her forces had, the further they could travel per turn. Croak them all. She said out loud to finish her instructions. The big drawback of being a Barbarian instead of a sided unit, combat-wise, was the total lack of a Chief Warlord bonus. She had been exchanging letters with Janis, trying to learn a date-a-mancy spell to emulate it, but it was slow going. Fortunately, they had guns, and it was pretty hard to miss the extra Leadership bonus when you were mostly facing enemies that had zero such bonus. Two or three units directing a three-round burst took out pretty much any amount of screens and the warlord behind them, as there were only so many units you could put between you and an enemy, and that number was a lot lower against a flier. Anyone who mustered effective resistance, Tanya dealt with. Either with an overwhelming shockamancy blast, or a little foolamancy to put them out of position for the rifles to capitalize on. Guns were so overpowered. Even more than she was. Still, Charlie had them too, so it was south for her. Over the sea, to a completely different continent. All she needs to do is find a new capital site, out of Charlies reach. Theyll be flying for a while. --------------------------- It was about forty turns, when they got over two thousand hexes away from Charlescomm, that Tanya decided that they were far enough to be able to take a little break from the road. This was because of them locating an empty city site on a deserted volcanic Island. It wasn''t a capital site, so they couldn''t do what they did in Gobwin Knob by calling in the casters to loot it to the bedrock, but Barbarian cities can still pop units. Hm. Wait a minute, links can make scrolls of their super-spells. She made a note to have a few empty the mine scrolls made next time she gets the chance to meet with Sizemore and Maggie. Itll just take her securing a capital site She was actually curious what her natural unit table was. Not curious enough to bother spending the money to upgrade it beyond the level 2 she needs to pop some more knights to replace the attrition; they lost a total of thirty units: twenty-six when attacking a level 4 city, and one each for four other skirmishes. It was a lot harder to preserve her forces when there were so many, she noticed. She could only do so much with foolamancy and her shockamancy defense. Also, while each of them had both a rifle and a shielding defense, as those do work against bullets so they were prioritized, only her original elite stacks and all the warlords have the full kit. Well, Victoria had that one secret accessory as well, but the only impact that''s had is essentially forcing her to wear skirts so it can be taken advantage of if needed. Thats an interesting unit Visha said as she poked it. The little fairy giggled, waving off the contact. Its interesting, to be sure. Tanya said in agreement. [Pick, Level 1 Tricksy] Combat: -2 Defense: -2 Hits: 2 Move: 36 Specials: Flying, Foolamancy From experience, she knew that a weirdomancer like Jack would wax poetic about the hidden specials that it had, like tiny. A normal unit with stats like this would have an upkeep of around eight. They used magic, so it was doubled to sixteen. A level 1 city in her signamancy could pop four in one turn. The other ones were named Fay, Nick, and Navi. This was, to say the least, incredibly cheap for casting units. They had a quarter of the juice a full caster of equal level did, and their skill level was low, but if stacked with a real example, they could supplement the juice of that caster, up to half of the cost. I sent a letter to Janis about it, and she said that fairy-type units, of which Tricksies were merely a foolamancy-attuned variety, were considered to be quite strong. Hey! Said one of the Tricksies. She didnt catch which one. When Tanya looked at them, they giggled, not otherwise doing anything to justify her attention. Ugh, so annoying. Listen! The same one said the instant she looked away. Tanya, foolishly trusting that her units had her best interests in mind, paid attention, trying to figure out what was being warned against. The Tricksies skipped giggling and went into full-on laughter. Okay, so they like pranks. Tanya said ruefully, understanding the situation now. Even if their wit would be comparable to a toddler. If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. Visha hummed. Princess, you used a new word again. Ah crap, toddlers arent a thing here. Its interesting. Yes, in my old world, even Men units grew over time, just like farm animals do here. Tanya elaborated, It took quite a bit longer, though. By now, Visha was probably the most informed as to the nature of her old existence. Even though she rarely understood the depth of her complaints, she still took her role as Tanyas attendant quite seriously, and listened intently when she had to vent over some of the oddities of Erf. My point is that theyre not very bright. On cue, the Tricksies started glowing. Tanya sighed. Theyre pretty quick, but theyll slow us down a lot if we use them. Visha observed. By now, she was a level 7 warlord, and in Barbarian terms that meant she was theoretically equal to Tanya. Most deposed rulers, even royal ones, would struggle to keep twelve other barbarian warlords in line, but she had several advantages: first, she had most of the shmuckers. Second, she was the only one available who could reload their rifles ammunition. Finally, she used a lot of Date-a-mancy to note friction and smoothed any issues out before it became a problem. It would be a large problem if her forces started to fracture, but for now, it wasnt a serious concern. Barbarians didnt really have Duty, only the echoes of it from their experience as sided units, which meant that she had to manually ensure their Loyalty instead of trusting in the worlds game mechanics to do it for her. Fortunately, she knew how to manage her human resources. A fine example of this was the current city setup. It had no walls, nor much of a tower. She had practiced enough Dirtamancy through a link that she had some rough ideas on how the whole process worked, although she struggled to keep it all in her head at the time of the upgrade. Instead, the entirety of the citys benefits was focused on the coastal batteries, where there were some defensive turrets designed to protect riflemen instead of ballisticians, as well as the garrison. Instead of a traditional barracks setup, each individual soldier had their own dormitory. She didnt go so far as to pop garrison infantry or courtiers to act as menial servants, but the accommodations were otherwise far more luxurious than they enjoyed in Yojo Mojos original cities. So whats the other option? Visha asked. Eh, something called a Whirlybird. Tanya said, waving dismissively. According to Janis, its a heavy flier with a transport special. Which was somewhere between Mount and Capture, capable of carrying multiple units and prisoners without penalty but without the stack benefits of Mount nor the combat benefits of Capture. Takes two turns to pop, cant tell more without popping one. Not sure if its worth it. Every idle turn that theyre popping units is a turn where twenty-thousand shmuckers goes down the drain. She has a basic boost production wand from Elya so that she can pop three garrison knights per turn that shell promote before they leave, so she only needs ten turns to replenish their numbers, but the city only produced about five thousand shmuckers per turn, and while hunting sea creatures for their meat with their rifles helped both their upkeep and their levels, they were still losing money every turn. Not even using her spare juice to generate food through a flower power wand Janis made for her (it only made potatoes) and then either cooking it through the natural changemancy of the citys larder or turning it directly into shmuckers with moneymancy fully mitigated the issues. Literally anything we get will slow us down in comparison to just keeping us as only knights, after all. Near as she could tell, Tanya had the theoretically highest possible move. So did her Noble knights, with the non-noble ones only being slightly slower, with 54 at level 1. Unless there was some other obscure special that boosted move further, getting any other unit type would be a drag on their ability to move. Yes, thats right. Visha said, thinking on the matter. We dont have a capital site yet. We have to stay mobile. Also, due to the rifles, each additional unit would have much less utility, as they would lack said rifles. Any additional units would need to support the usage of the rifles to be efficient usage of upkeep. Which, incidentally, the Tricksies qualify as, because protecting the rifle units with foolamancy is a good use case. But the fey units would slow them down by 18 move. Theoretically, she could use what Transylvito uses for their bats and have a dress that stores a stack or two of tricksies that would allow her to carry them but that would require that she give up the massive storage space for items and gems that she currently has. Still, with that one-turn diversion handled, they all settled in for their brief ten-turn vacation as forces got replenished. Every turn, her strongest stacks went on a scouting spree, their high move that, with three subordinate stacks lending move for the return trip, allowed them to survey a forty-hex radius. The remaining six stacks then dispatched all feral sea beasties and birds found, automagically turning the meat into rations in their packs. Due to the natural changemancy of the process, even immense beasts turned into easily carried portions of relevant foodstuffs, as long as the value was able to be carried by them. Without things like chuck wagons or other storage, a unit could carry twice their upkeep in rations without penalty, and up to triple that by accepting move penalties. This meant that traditional wisdom was that a single unit can eat to half upkeep for five turns off of one feral, if its a large one. From experience, Tanya was learning of the typical yields of sea-based ferals. There were a few that were of comparable size to land-based ferals, schools of freshmer (which Tanya had initially mistaken for natural allies, but after experiencing their mindless Rush over the Week, figured out that they were not, in fact, people) dramasharks, which were just sharks that had dramatic music, and Pie-Cs, which reminded Tanya of lemon-filled takiyaki, as examples, more often than not the sea creatures were of an immense size far beyond anything found elsewhere. Gunwhales (narwhals that used shockamancy), quakkens (giant rubber ducks), and even leviafats, which are like leviathins, but with one obvious difference. The yields from the more ordinary units ranged from two hundred shmuckers of meat to eight hundred, as usual, but the larger ones yielded ten times that much. It made some sense, they would have to be pretty powerful to be a threat to even the smallest ships, which were stacks of led units piled onto one changemancy stat block. The smallet units traveled in stacks, of course. Not that the larger ones didnt, but they were small groups, not full stacks. But they still died in droves when faced with rifles. They were heavy, of course, so they didnt die in one shot, but given the scales they were designed to operate at, dying to a single reinforced stack of units in a single three-round burst, fifty-one bullets, at most sounded like it would be frustrating. Several couldnt even survive a single shot volley. Further, firearms and ammo were insultingly cheap to make on top of being overpowered. Each rifle, which cost a single caster-level of juice, came with four magazines, each of which held thirty bullets. This cost only slightly more in dirtamancy than the rifle did in dollamancy. That was a lot of death for that amount of juice. Granted, the carnymancy quadrupled the cost when you consider the novice-class dittomancy surcharge to duplicate the scroll and the master-class weirdomancy to adjust the parameters of the carnymancy plus the master-class dollamancy binding it to the accessory on top of the juice spent on the adept-class carnymancy itself, but that just put it in the realm of hey, lets slap a +3 Combat bonus on your Warlord rather than lets make your knights able to instantly croak anything that isnt a heavy at range like the rifles represented. So overpowered. So Tanya didnt bother telling them to hold back on the bullet consumption beyond dont shoot them unless youre croaking something. None of them ran through enough ammo for it to significantly drain her admittedly massive juice pool. Such sea monsters also provided a wealth of experience points. Not a single one of her riflemen were level 1 except for the newly popped ones, and after taking the newbies out on a few hunts where they leveled to two or sometimes three, their bonds with their new comrades were strong enough to tie them together in a reinforced stack, on top of them leveling up from the experience. Each level added an extra ten shmuckers onto a knights upkeep, though. Well, one of them leveled to six, and their upkeep went to 132 instead of the expected 130, but then again warlord upkeeps also went up faster at that breakpoint, so that made sense. From level 1 to 5, upkeep goes up to fifty percent more than it was at level 1, going one quarter of the distance between those figures each level, except for warlords and casters, including casting units like the Tricksies, where it doubled in the same span. Then, from level 5 to 10, it went up by half again or doubled again, going one fifth of the distance each level instead. At least, thats where the math went. Her own upkeep broke this rule, but long-term spells that permanently augmented a unit tended to add a unit-dependent but not level-dependent amount to a units upkeep, so that made sense that the Perfect Warlord spell would as well. Still, it was turn eight of the planned eleven turns of vacation when the peace finally broke: A fleet of ships sailed up to the harbor although she wasnt quite clear on how many ships constituted a fleet in this world. There were seven ships, but only one seemed to be on the large side. They did not immediately fire their beam weapons, that is, shockamancy bolts that get fired from the beams of the sails (this world), so Tanya figured there was an opportunity for diplomacy. Ordering the Tricksies to stack up and contribute their meager juice, Tanya cast foolamancy to appear floating in front of their ship. Ahoy there! My tricksies only have so much juice to maintain a two-way call, she lied, her Recon special made her able to eavesdrop on conversations within the same hex so she could hear them fine, but she wanted to be able to imply that she wasnt a caster. So Ill skip the pleasantries. Who are you and why are you here, at Pismo Beach? She had decided to name the city Pismo, because she was reminded of a very old cartoon when she looked upon the idyllic beach the city site was on, particularly the rabbit-like Whatup that popped out of the ground that she had to croak before she could claim the site. As she thought, the rations the city popped included plenty of clams. She missed seafood, and enjoyed them immensely. The Captain was a man wearing an officious red coat and a rather large hat. I am Vice-Admiral Sir Pottingham, of the Albinny Kingdom. My ship is the HMS Mapbacks. The man announced with an incredibly pompous voice, thick with a British accent. [Vice-Admiral Sir Pottingham, Level 8 Warlord] Combat: 26 Defense: 26 Hits: 17 Move: 16 Specials: Noble, Leadership, Seafarer Magical Bonus: Mapping Hm. +2 equipment, +3 side-wide chief warlord bonus, but otherwise a standard stat block for a seafaring warlord, with a slight bonus for being a Noble. Analysis said Mapping was a natural Findamancy special, giving him awareness of terrain within four hexes, twenty on the sea. Seeing as how Recon allowed clear visibility from five hexes away among sea hexes, this made sense. She wondered how much a normal unit could see when on a boat? [Princess Tanya von Degurechaff, level 8 Barbarian] Combat: 36 Defense: 36 Hits: 10 (10) Move: 77 Specials: Tanya, Royal, Leadership, Caster, Flight, Recon Magical bonuses: Leadership x2, Barrier, Analysis, Shockamancy, Inventory She wasnt worried, even with the loss of her Chief Warlord bonus. Still, the pompous man continued. Our purpose here was to re-found this little city site, and claim it for Her Majesty Queen Virginia. Ah, crap. Well, I am Princess Tanya von Degurechaff, formerly Queen of Yojo Mojo. Tanya said, curtseying. The image she was projecting to the ship with foolamancy mimicked her motions. One of the first principles of foolamancy that was explained to her, when she spoke to Isaac, was that one should seek to keep your illusions as simple as possible when using them for practical purposes like this. He meant when one is combining a thinkagram with foolamancy but it was just as relevant here. Ive founded this city, and would be willing to part with it without violence in return for certain considerations. Tanya said, waving her hand vaguely. Princess? Sir Pottingham asked incredulously. Well, I suppose you do look the part Tanya looked down at her dress. While the underlying garment was a comfortable, breezy summer dress that fit best in a garden party, when transformed it looked very classically magical girl, to be honest. It was a metal cuirass that was so form-fitted that it resembled more of a sailor fuku. It had a pink ribbon at the front of the cleavage, set with a sparkling golden gem that could actually be used to directly access the gems inside her inventory without needing to physically remove them. The original dress was short in front but long in the back, but now the pink skirt was short all the way around, which paradoxically made Tanya think of it as less sexualized, as it was just cute. It also came with thigh-high white socks, pink high heels, and long elegant gloves. She wouldnt look at this and say regal, but it did in this world. It was weird. The comfortable weight of her now-long hair intruded on her awareness as she looked back up. Ah, well, this was a pretty princess hairstyle, at least. There was no way she could have maintained this if it wasnt for the morning cleansing. Yes. Princess. Tanya repeated. Now, shall we commence with unpleasantness or shall we begin negotiating? Hm, could she swing a mercenary contract with them? That sounded fruitful. Chapter 2.02 After consulting his superiors via hat, Sir Pottingham was willing to sign a simple non-aggression pact, with penalty of immediate disbandment of any unit to break it, one of the few binding punishments that barbarians can agree to. Tanya never found the time to learn signamancy, but one of her wands was a large novelty pencil that could write binding agreements that had simple, direct terms and short durations. In this case, four turns, one more turn than they needed to pop the replacement knights. It was hardly ironclad, there were plenty of loopholes in such a threadbare agreement, but it was sufficient to allow for some trust to be extended on both sides. Their ships were allowed to remain in the harbor zone, and Sir Pottingham was allowed to bring a stack of assistants with him to the negotiating table. One side effect of being so far away from their original side was that the culture around taking tea was just slightly different. If it wasnt for the Royal special dripping the relevant knowledge into her head, she counted at least two faux pas that she would have made by using the rules in Jetstones court, specifically: you poured the milk in the cup before the tea, and when seated at a table the saucer remains on the table. Now, this tea is from the city of PorkSir, its a favorite of Admiral Spiffin, who was my mentor. Sir Pottingham explained, enthusiastic on the topic of tea. A perfectly balanced flavor with no exploits. Tanya nodded politely. Its quite nice. She said, before sensing an opportunity to get to the point. Now, as for the matter at hand: our purpose here is simply to replenish our numbers before re-stacking and moving on our way, and we need only three more turns of production to do that. If nothing else, we can simply rest and relax for the amount of time necessary to do that, well be off the island before the pact expires. Hm, her Majesty wont be happy about the delay, Sir Pottingham said, But perhaps we could come to a more equitable arrangement. It would be incredibly difficult to get better than accept small inconvenience, everyone walks away peaceably, given that the uncivilized alternative equates to massive losses on their part, but Tanya still held enough cards that she didnt feel threatened by them. Besides, the non-aggression pact means theyve already won that much. What did you have in mind? Tanya asked, sipping once more at the tea. It was quite good tea. Tasted a little bit like bacon. Her Majesty is of the opinion that the situation on the Continental is turning into something undesirable. Sir Pottingham explained. However, the diplomatic situation is rather precarious. Ah, they need a deniable asset. We are not only capable of independent operation, it is preferable to us to do so. Tanya said, a conspiratorial smirk on her face. Whats the situation? I shall start with a bit of history, Sir Pottingham began, which was appreciated. In the past, the Hopback dynasty has been sowing their oats among the local area. About two thirds of the local royalty draws lineage from them. However, it is only recently that His Majesty William Helmet absorbed a few other sides and declared himself Emperor of all the Hopbacks, by the Kind Sir Right. After seeing Tanyas confusion, he explained: It was something the original Hopback King, whose name has been lost to time, implemented to reduce fighting among his descendents. A side with five capital sites will allow a King to declare themselves Emperor, which remains once they split off subordinate sides. Tanya spent a moment trying to remember if the word Hopback was something in her old world. With a tiny expense of juice, she rifled through her normally forgotten memories. Oh, its a beer brewing thing. Now, one of the groups that took offense to this was The Lederhosen Entente, a three-side alliance that formed in response, composed of NordVPN, MeetBall, and Coorsway. He continued, So some posturing and a small invasion was had. The Empire invaded back. Tanya nodded. Everything seemed pretty normal. So whats the issue? She asked, taking one of the small cakes the other warlord had brought with the tea and eating it. NordVPN has been absorbed almost entirely, with only their hidden remote capital site remaining. They have some kind of grand magic thats keeping that capital site hidden. Hm, if she ever got a discreet capital site, using NordVPNs trick would help keep it protected Sir Pottingham continued, In short, the Empire is winning. If they succeed and are allowed to consolidate their gains, our own security will be in danger. A disunited and squabbling Continental is critical to our sides secure position as the Master of the Sea. Hm, that did explain why her scouts were feeding her some images about modifications made to their ships. Screw propellers at the back Did they have a turnamancer improving their ships? So you think that Emperor Will Helm could use some raiding to distract him from his conquests, then? Tanya asked, deliberately shortening the rulers name for her own amusement. Not meeting many new people for so long can make one forget how much everyones names are puns or references she can only sometimes understand. Wait, was that a crumb on her chin? Drat. We understand each other. Sir Pottingham said in agreement. Anything that keeps the Continental sorts focused on each other and not on Albinny is useful to us. Assuming we can come to an accord on price and support, that is agreeable. Tanya said, daintily wiping her mouth and chin with the napkin. In that case, we should adjourn so that I may be advised, as I am not authorized to make payments large enough to cover your forces upkeep, much less anything more. Sir Pottingham said, preparing to leave the room. My starting proposal is triple upkeep, which would be approximately seventy-five thousand shmuckers a turn, with a minimum contract of twenty turns, and full looting rights, taking as much as I can carry. Tanya said, glancing at the rest of the cakes but refrained from taking one, knowing it would be rude to eat another so soon. I can contact my good friend in the Glade of the Hippiemancers to create the contract. Sir Pottingham sputtered. Outrageous! That price comes with full discretion, of course. Tanya said, waving off his concern. There will be no alliance, and as far as anyone else would be aware, my forces are merely marauding barbarians of unusual strength, razing and pillaging to sustain ourselves. My associate will use the utmost caution in making contact. After a beat, she added: That price also assumes the bare minimum of support, that is, your maps of the relevant terrain, to the best of your sides knowledge. Im taking a lot of risk, here. That risk requires a commiserate reward. If you took steps to mitigate that risk with additional support, such as more detailed intelligence, lighter terms could be negotiated. Still, thats one and a half million shmuckers Sir Pottingham said, frowning. Take that offer to your Queen or Chief Warlord and/or Caster, let them make the decision. Tanya said, staring at the nobleman with intent. That is merely the start of negotiations. ...Very well. --------------------------- As it turned out, Queen Virginia decided to handle things personally, through an extended conversation via notes passed via their respective crowns. I love your ink! She wrote in her latest missive, accompanying it with a little smiley face. Whered you get it? Below the question was another counteroffer, detailing the quantity of juice that would be reserved by their Lookamancer, Sir Eric Blair, for Tanyas discretion as support. Oh, the conversation had lasted long enough for sidebars? Excellent. Shes trained for this. Drawing on memories of texting, she waved her wand across the pages and let the ink take shape according to her mental image. Its a magic pen. (ɣ-)??.*???Giggling to herself, she added: It makes the ink for me. ( ????)" If you want your own, Im sure you could get a dollamancer to make you one. Sadly, mine was lost with my side. A changemancer would likely also suffice. Below the informal exchange, Tanya outlined yet another counteroffer. Theyll reach an agreement soon, she thinks. Your drawings are so cute! (^-^) Queen Virginia replied, giving her own approximation of a Japanese-style emoticon. No one else ever writes them back to me (;-;) Underneath, were a complete set of terms, with only minor changes. No one? o(n)o How rude. Tanya wrote back, almost wishing she had one of those eyebooks that Maggie told her about but they werent secure against Charlie, so it was for the best that she didnt. She took a glance to the harbor, where the Queens sailors were still moored. Those terms are acceptable btw. (??_?) Mission will begin in two turns, as agreed. This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it. Okay bestie, now that the official stuff is over Tell me: was Prince Ansom as dreamy in person as he was reputed to be? (0-o) Was that supposed to be a raised eyebrow? Tanya took a moment to think about the man. As before, there wasnt any kind of foreign emotion, no fluttering heartbeat or anything at the thought of the objectively handsome man. I dont know what youre talking about! (? ?????? ?) He was stupid! Heh. Tsun-tsun Oho? Queen Virginia send back alone, followed by another paper. Does the Princess protest overmuch, perhaps? Ansom had often commented on the value there was in speaking with other rulers on a personal level, as it allowed one to speak with someone who you did not hold power over, which was very refreshing, in his words. As in a lot of things about being a ruler he was right. --------------------------- So as it turned out, the area in question was known as the Continental Break, a land riddled with chasm hexes that complicated land travel. Thus, in the Continental Break, fast fliers were valued moreso than in other areas. The chasms noted that the place could be subdivided into fourty-two regions, and the Empire controlled twenty-nine of them. It took a while for Tanya to get a straight answer on what their side was actually named, but apparently it was called McBethlefuck, and even that had to be written down instead of spoken aloud, with the last four letters censored. Apparently, saying the name of the side that she will internally refer to as McBeth (and even saying that much out loud was seen as bad luck) was taboo, some kind of Signamancy nonsense. Its not like she was capable of saying it aloud herself, because the stupid Perfect Warlady spell made her instead say McBethleboop. So everyone just calls it The Empire now. So her task was to distract the Empire from their material acquisitions, to assail them. Albinny was off of the eastern coast of the Continental Break, fast ships being their primary method of defense. The Lederhosen Entente were stationed to the south of Albinny, but they included chunks of land that were connected to the Empire, although those were most of what was already conquered, numerous port cities along that part of the coast to allow the Empire to issue more seamen and the ships that occupy them, most importantly more warlords with Seafarer, as while they dont exclusively pop in coastal cities, youre not going to staff your officer core with dumb luck. Now, Tanya wasnt alone in this mission: The neighboring side of Toadarm was already invading from the north, and there was some sabre-rattling with the side of Rush to the south. The other sides in the area, particularly the ones in the west, were weak and easily bullied by the grand Empire. They also served to be additional obstacles, as crushing the Empire did no good if it just meant that either of those sides rise to take their place, particularly as neither of the sides were Royal-led anymore. All told, the Continental Break was about twelve hundred hexes across and eight hundred wide, which meant that it was large enough that finding secure bases and only sallying forth from them was impossible. But perhaps Hm. So this is a chasm hex. Visha said contemplatively as they hovered over the hex in question. It wasnt bottomless or shrouded in darkness, as Tanya had expected, but instead it was just a canyon, with a bunch of bedrock with a small river at the bottom. What are you thinking? She asked. Tanya tilted her head. Im going over my inventory of wands in my head, and I think we can make a hidden base in the cliffs. Visha, as her primary assistant, had helped her organize her inventory, so she thought about it. We could look for caves with that Lookamancy wand. She suggested. True. Tanya acknowledged, although it wasnt really for that. It was more for looking for hidden threats. Or we could use the digging wand to make one. That particular wand was probably the most versatile of her wands, as it essentially endowed her with the Digging special, and allowed her to spend juice instead of move to execute the digging. Given how much she drilled her digging troops, which was a large reason that they were able to force Charlie to enter their fortified hex in order to attack it, meant that she understood how far that could be stretched. Visha frowned. Would that avoid the normal move penalties? She asked, scratching her head. If we leave the cave open to the air, I think so. Tanya said, thinking carefully about the interaction between underground spaces and the flying special. The penalty could definitely be worth it, particularly if she puts in extra work and makes a bunker but if it could be avoided? All the better. I can use foolamancy to conceal the entrance. A simple concealment of the entrance should be within her skill without much issue. Are we still going to wipe out that fortified position on that bridge? Visha asked. Eh? Tanya took a moment to go over the math in her head. ...Yes. Even with the move penalty, we can hide five hexes down the chasm from the bridge, with a bit of help from the turnamancy wand. Sure a low-powered wand like the kind Elya could make can only transfer move between units that are of the same type, but that was enough for her. Now, for the first move of her new job. --------------------------- [Joshua von Canaan, level 5 warlord] Life was terrible. After five hundred turns of drilling and holding Jericho pass, now that the damned Toads are positioning to invade, here comes Prince Ceasar Salad, taking his command along with the admittedly welcome reinforcements. If only he wasnt so irritating about it. Caesar isnt even an heir! But he was a level 7 warlord, so that bonus would be sorely helped. Besides, Caesar also came with a few interesting accessories. Joshua once more disassembled the pistol, cleaning it with a rag, and re-assembled it within a minute. Only the warlords were issued these new weapons, and after touching one war becomes a very different thing. They didnt have a lot of bullets for them, so theyll have to use them carefully, ensuring that only high value targets are croaked, but the idea of personally croaking enemy warlords, or heavies, even casters is intoxicating. Even if his most likely target will probably be knights. It wouldnt do to fail to croak something due to being overly concerned about preserving that ammunition, after all. Holding this pistol felt right. No, not just right Righteous. Like he was meant to be holding it, to croak the enemies of the Titans. It was his Fate. Natural chokepoints from mountain passes, rivers, and chasms served a similar role that Walls did: they reduced the capacity of a defender to croak their attacker, but it did an even better job protecting the defender from that attacker. Frequently, if the chokepoint was fortified enough, the turn would end before the attacker could even finish breaking through the hex, allowing for further reinforcements to arrive. On top of that, in the case of rivers and chasms, no amount of digger units would help, as going under the bridge would just lead to drowned or fallen units. Chasm hexes were exceptionally dangerous, falling damage nearly always resulted in croaking when one fell into a chasm. You had to either fly or be tunnel capable to traverse a chasm hex by going down to the bottom without triggering fall damage, and in the case of chasms with rivers, like this one, not even tunnel capable units could cross it. Now, in order to take advantage of a natural chokepoint, there was a need to maintain a certain number of units, enough to physically block the bridges exit in a battle, as once the lines get broken, the defensive benefits of the hex were moot and it was no different to fighting in an open field. They expected action this day, as the scouts reported the presence of a Toadarm column approaching to go through their position. The work of the diggers, the erfwork fortifications that were meant to make things even more difficult for the enemy, were freshly remade, as the start of turn eroded that hard work. These were mostly to reduce the damage if the Toadies decided to start raining arrows from the other side of the bridge. He was on cavalry duty, mounted with a stack of similar knights, all riding Bearwolves, which were units that had a transformation special that allowed them to shift between two states at night when they looked at the moon in the sky, either a swift unit with high offensive stats or a heavy one with higher hits and defense. They were in heavy mode right now, naturally. All told, their defensive position wasnt exactly the greatest the Empire could boast, but it was a respectable one. Seventy stacks of infantry, thirty of them archery to ward off the limited fliers the Toadies can muster, five stacks of cavalry, twelve ballista emplacements, seven warlords, and of course the five stacks of dorfs, the digging natural allies of the Empire. As a proper soldier should be, they were ready for the Toadarm invasion the instant dawn broke. But the sun did not rise from the horizon. It hung there. It was the barbarian turn. Now, this wasnt something new; barbarian units popped often enough, and ones that popped near their chasm usually found it by means of following the distinctive terrain feature. But on this turn, of all turns? It was ominous. Turn order was natural predictamancy, as even if the number of sides were just the initial 99, having 99 turns in one day would make actually taking turns nearly impossible. So any given unit could only sense a turn if there would be something that they could notice going on during that turn to an extent. It was complicated, and Joshua didnt pretend to fully understand it, but it was enough for him to be on high alert. Caesar didnt seem to agree with that assessment, as when the perimeter sentries that he ordered to watch all the hex boundaries and even the skies started to blow their horns, the Prince was still reading some letters that had come in for him via hat overnight. He was the first to croak to a bullet in the brain. Well, he was in charge again. Titans toilet! He exclaimed as he looked to the direction the bullet came from. That was what, two dozen stacks of flying knights, each armed with a gun? Not even a handgun, like he was, but full rifles! He had never seen so many barbarians in one place before! Still, Legions, form up! For the Empire! He shouted, rallying the hex. For Caesar! The reminder of their prince croaking so ignobly stirred their spirits, and so they followed his instructions to continually restack as they took losses. His words were useless, though. Bullets whizzed by him as the knights dispassionately used their out-of-hex archery to cut down the majority of the knights and cavalry units, using one full clip of ammunition each. The fortifications helped, preserving some of their forces, but they werent designed to protect against an aerial assault, only attacks from the bridge. After they reloaded, their commanders had apparently decided that working around the fortifications and the out-of-hex archery penalty was too inefficient with ammo (or, at least, thats why Joshua would order a charge after such a devastating volley) and entered the hex to finish the job. Their leader was breathtakingly beautiful, the very picture of a princess who leads from the ballroom, not the battlefield, but her scepter crackled with shockamancy, the weapon seeming to be just as deadly as the rifles her subordinates held. He brought up his pistol and fired straight at her. The bullet was stopped by a barrier accessory, but the look of shock on her face was priceless. Jnetsu-tekina ai no bakuhatsu! She shouted, pointing her wand directly at his stack, which erupted in fire. As the fire washed over his stack, his only thought was: it burned. He had never suffered fire damage before, and it felt a little like his handgun did. Like it was his Fate to burn. His eyes were burned out of his sockets, enveloping the world in shadow. He fell down off his mount, and into the chasm, still clutching his trusty pistol, his Light Shining in the Darkness. Ah, so this was it. He landed in the water, and to his shock, he was still alive to notice his hits drop down to 1. As a Noble, he had a stat bonus over other warlords, in his case he had a few extra hits. At level 5, this equated to 17 hits instead of 15. His mount and the rest of his stack took up most of the shockamancy, meaning he only lost 8 hits to the fire spell, but falling damage only dealt him 8 more. For a normal, short fall, this was a low but believable amount of damage. For a chasm fall? Absurdly lucky. He was still going to drown, though. Or, at least thats what he thought. As it turned out, there was a cave, which he immediately washed up in. He was dumbfounded as to how he could have survived, but he did. After a string of luck like that, the Titans must have a plan for him. Hell just have to do his best to do their work, then. Praise them. Chapter 2.03 They had guns. Tanya had more, and her units were more suited to exploiting firearm bonuses, and they only had pistols instead of rifles but they had guns. Her own Barrier got broken by one. Tanya put the six new pistols in her Inventory, shoved down her dress right next to her own pistol. One of them was lost when a warlord who was near the cliff had a rash of bad luck and fell down it when he got dismounted, but it was still troubling. There was plenty of loot, though. The Empire had put well-trained stabbers as their primary infantry, and dorfs were about the same strength, so there was more value in this hex than could be claimed by one turns worth of juice if she went through the effort of extracting it instead of wasting most of it by claiming the ration value only. Fortunately, she had enough juice stored in her wands that she could operate at a deficit. About fifty thousand shmuckers from the bodies, twelve thousand from the purses of the warlords, and the chuck wagons had another twenty in rations they were able to eat and carry off, the sausage and bread heavy meals quite agreeable to her knights palettes. Still, they flew four hexes downriver and used the digging wand to make a cave, and after withdrawing some juice from the more circumstantial wands she put a foolamancy veil on the entrance, concealing the camp that her knights were assembling from the limited space. The conditions were rather cramped, but it was safe. Tanya had her tent, and her tent had a writing desk, so that, her wand, and her crown was all that she needed to handle off-turn business. First battle finished at Jericho Pass. t(?)sPraise me. Tanya sent in a note to Queen Virginia. If she wanted to communicate like a pair of teenage girls, Tanya sees no reason not to oblige. After a delay, another note came back: Wow! Theyre all croaked! [_(*v*)_] Youre strong! How many losses? Not enough to be noteworthy. (???) Tanya sent evasively. Careful though, the Empire equipped their warlords with some of that special accessory we have. (^^;) That was a very unwelcome surprise. Their chuck wagons werent nearly as full as I had hoped, either. Oh. (o-o) Well, with Jericho pass opened up, the Toadarm army will be much more easily able to threaten the Brine area, and the city of Eileen specifically. Ah, Queen Virginia decided it was time for serious talk. That columns a good matchup to the level 3 citys current defenses, and the Empires going to need to do something reckless if they want to reinforce it. With the Brine region secured, the western chunk of the Empire is cut off from easy reinforcements, and the weaker sides in that area can take advantage, breaking up that region. Tanya thought back to the extensive maps that were sent over. And that would also give the Toadarms a route to the Empires capital site that theyre actually using, correct? Yes, but theyre not really going to be able to exploit it, not after the losses theyll take on Eileen. Queen Virginia replied. Well, also theres another bridge they need to go through. You could sack that bridge too, but that may be a bit too suspicious. Come on, Eileen is only level 3. I can take it. Tanya sent back. A barbarian razing the city is much less suspicious than the bridge. Give me a full appraisal of the defenses next turn and itll be done. If youre sure ]_(@-@)_[ Okay. Queen Virginia sent back. Pretty sure that towers loaded up, though. The Empire has a shockamancer. Im not worried. ?(?U ?-?). My forces can take on pretty much anything short of a capital site. Even then, she could probably win against the capitals of weak sides. The Empires Brine region is in a pickle, and Ill be chowing down. Tanya chuckled at her own pun as she sent the note. The final note of their exchange was naturally short. Kk bestie go slay :-D Hm. Queen Virginia is probably pretty lonely, if some mercenary Queen rates such high esteem. Or shes doing the same thing Tanya is, and taking advantage of the limited communication bandwidth of exchanging notes to attempt to manipulate the poor exiled Queen. Given how Albinnys signamancy clearly invokes the British Empire, particularly how they use deniable assets to manipulate other sides and tilt the balance of power Tanya should probably not assume any good will that isnt backed firmly by their logical best interest. So not any different than shed already been treating them. Now, she needed to start with the letters to her Magic Kingdom contacts ----------------- Vishas stack was essentially designated as Tanyas honor guard, so it was exclusively populated with women. As such, while Tanyas royal accommodations were still set up (like most items, tents, sleeping bags, and beds shrunk when unused to allow for a full field camp to be set up without needing pesky logistics units for this war game), to save space the floor of it was occupied by the sleeping bags of her honor guard, and three of them had to sleep on Tanyas queen-sized bed to even fit everyone. Next time, Ill make the cave bigger. Tanya promised, her voice muffled by her adjutants shoulder. Didnt you say this was as big as you could make it? Visha asked, hugging Tanya closer. Ill make a second cave. Tanya corrected, Theres bound to be penalties to having such a cramped camp. She wont know what those penalties are until tomorrow morning, but still This isnt much better than that high mountain hex a couple of tenturns ago. Visha pointed out. Sharing bunks for warmth was your idea that time. Thats what youre supposed to do in arctic conditions. Tanya protested. That raging river outside the cave makes this place pretty damp and cold. Visha added, Might have similar penalties. Tanya sighed and shifted to make herself more comfortable. Honestly, the things she did to appease her subordinates. She had gotten far too used to having them be magically compelled to obey her. Having to maintain their morale manually should not be this irritating. At least it was warm. --------------------------- The next morning, with a new set of gems, drawn from her own moneymancy skill automagically by the contract, the intelligence from Sir Blair was displayed as a foolamancy projection detailing the city between her and the warlord cadre that led her raiding force. So, the place is not yet fully fortified, as the reinforcements are still five hexes away. So right as the Frogs- Tanya paused, I mean the Toads are about to seize the place, theyre currently two hexes away, we stop them from winning by coming in, massacring the defenders, razing the place to the ground, and fly off laughing. The Toads army will absolutely destroy the reinforcements, and their clean path to JellyDonut will leave the Empire scrambling to prevent them conquering enough to split off a whole new side. Hm, what kind of casualties are we expecting? von White asked. Tanya waved her hand vaguely. That really depends on how well I can confound the tower spells. But there are thirty total levels of leadership, which should be relatively simple to defeat. After all, by now their cadre of warlords totaled 56 levels. Their highest level examples sallied forth to the hex we croaked last turn in order to delay the Toadies while they brought their reinforcements in. Eileen is more vulnerable than it has been for a long time. So do you think we can take it without casualties? Newsman asked. Its not impossible. Tanya said, But mathamancy says only a twelve percent chance of zero casualties. Expected losses are less than one stack, with a thirty-ish percent chance of losing more: its within acceptable tolerances. The profit would be substantial, though. As part of their barbarian journey, Tanya had somewhat obscured the exact extent of the treasury Tanya had hidden within her dress. Even Noble warlords didnt tend to have a head for numbers, so while they knew that the warchest was large, she had implied that their cash reserves were not quite as robust as it actually was. It was a good negotiation, your highness. Kurig said, Getting paid to fill our pockets. Tanya chuckled. Well, if we werent actually sustaining ourselves with this raid, then any moneymancer that looks at our actions might sniff out our mercenary nature. So we must make sure that no one suspects such a thing. Moneymancers can do a lot by looking at financial data, but there are limitations. Not having a proper treasury and instead having a massive quantity of gems limits their insight further. Ironically, the random nature of gems extracted from mines throws out the careful calculations of moneymancers trying to track expenses, despite gems being natural moneymancy. Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. Hm, actually Oh. Thats why moneymancy cant detect gems at a distance! Because if they could, they could use moneymancy to steal the shmuckers inside! Its a balance nerf! Putting that gigantic gap in the capability of a discipline so that one of their Scripture-noted capabilities isnt nearly as useful as it should be was just collateral damage. She had long theorized that the forbidden magic, retconjuration, was used by the Titans to institute balance patches, but now she had a piece of evidence. Such a slapdash solution was why the linkup worked, using other means to find the gems meant that the gems could be drained, as could happen if moneymancers were allowed to detect gems with their normal spells. Tanya? Visha asked, concerned. Did you have a brilliant idea? Wha? Tanya asked, before looking over the confused faces of her subordinates. Ah yes, but unrelated to the attack plan. Lets refocus. She re-created the foolamancy map. Ill take point, creating decoys for the tower to waste energy on. How effective that is will depend on how competent the one directing it is. Now, remember the planning for the sacking of Dancia --------------------------- Unfortunately for the Empire, defeat in detail was exactly what the doctor ordered; the whole point of her attacking this end of their territory was that it was underdefended, and after wiping out their strongest warlords in the area, and attacking before their reinforcements could arrive It was a one-sided slaughter. Granted, it was a one-sided slaughter that croaked three of her men and would have croaked seven more if not for her healomancy wands, but when youre dealing with this many units, it was impossible to use magic to cover for all of them. Particularly in the face of the limited numbers of firearms that they had Still, it was a nice payday. The city itself yielded a little less than seventy thousand, and she spent not nearly as much juice as she did last turn to extract another twenty-five thousand from the larger pile of bodies, not wanting to dip into her wands juice this time. The larder was depleted, sent on those chuck wagons they looted last turn, but the purses of the warlords added another nine thousand. Even more profitable than the last turn. With their devilry in the Brine region completed, they flew southwest, seeking to continue their harassment. Maybe they could hold one of their cities for a turn to pop more knights --------------------------- [Prince Zed von Tour, level 10 Chief warlord] The Empire was the greatest side to ever exist. This was something he knew to be true. Only they have defeated the bane of empires, the diminishing shmuckers for having many cities. Adolf Altright, Carnymancer. Sigmund von Fraud, Thinkamancer. Albert von Spear, Dirtamancer. Together they have found a way to create a true Empire, multiple sides truly forged into one greater whole. Brutal von Boss, the dollamancer, created the ultimate accessory that can turn any unit into an archer without peer. His own crisp uniform was designed by von Boss, in fact. Very snappy. But they had a problem. The Lederhosen Entente was taking up too much of their mobile forces, and the Toadies had capitalized, starting to invade the sturdy but weakened northern side, seeking to take their original capital, Jellydonut. Prince de Luigi should be condemned to Hellabad for their temerity. Now, they had expected this. The forces kept to protect Jellydonuts sphere of influence was more than adequate to, with some defense in depth, repel the entirety of the Toadarm column. Unfortunately, they seem to have somehow managed to afford the most powerful barbarian mercenary force that Zed had ever heard of, a group of twenty-four stacks of flying knights armed with assault rifles. Where did they come from? Zed had no idea. All he knew was that they cleared the first two obstacles in de Luigis way, allowing the coward to take out the remaining column and start marching straight to Jellydonut with practically cosmetic casualties, a full strength thrust to one of their seven beating hearts. It was an affordable loss, although saying such a thing felt like he had decided to attempt to use a breath weapon to fill their latrine pit with material. They had shifted the treasury stored there to one of the other capitals, and had transferred the ownership of the other cities to the other subdivisions of the Empire. They then sent von Spear over to very precisely degrade the city, gaining the shmuckers from the downgrade to level four, but also minimizing the loss in defensive bonuses, and had him throw in a few traps to boot. Von Stein had long filled the tower to the brim with defensive spells. They had to bleed the Toadies somehow, after all. Part of the razing funds were spent on a dittomancer to duplicate Zed to lead the defense, which will be fine to turn that battle into a real meat grinder. Oh, the Toads turn just started. Hm, the Barbarians didnt hit anything this turn. Commented Prince Reuben von Sport as he reviewed the report. He was also a Chief Warlord, level 9. An old friend, popped on the same turn in two different capitals. One drawback to the Empires size was that there was a greater need for a bureaucracy, and the Chief Warlords that were tasked on the defense assembled a council to make decisions on general matters that did not require the commitment of one of their number to dedicate their full attention to. Due to the nature of their goal, they decided to call this council the General Stuff. Oh? Any action at all? Zed asked. Out in the Chalkan mountains there was a barbarian warlord that got croaked, just a level one, probably freshly popped. Reuben commented, shrugging. Nothing from that massive army of fliers, though. Hm, curious. Well, even with a generous estimate of that groups collective upkeep, sacking Eileen would give them at least a few turns worth of it. The question was, were they setting up for another strike, or were they just razing hellabad on someone elses land? Dare he hope that the barbarians turn their sights on the Toads? He would be so lucky. The courtier he had on hat duty leaned in and whispered: Sir, the attack on Jellydonut has started. -und zat is my cue. von Fraud said, waltzing into the room. It is time for your session, von Tour. Nodding, Zed stood up from his comfortable chair and walked into the other room, laying down on the odd long cushion while the thinkamancer placed his hands on Zeds temples. Thank you. Zed said. It is nothink. von Fraud said, It is only natural for a man to want to see himself fall in glorious battle, a fascination that can rarely be seen as we can today. Ugh. von Frauds theories on the nature of Men were rather irritating, but the man was so useful --------------------------- [Princess Tanya von Degurechaff, Level 8 Barbarian] As it turned out, the Alfs were rather treacherous mountains. A natural ally tribe made their home there, Abominable Little Fellas, brown furry mountain-capable little boops that had a cooking special and thrived in the cold weather, converting bodies very efficiently into compact rations, little handheld discs that they called pogs. They could then use their cooking special to turn those things back from pog form into edible dishes. Chief Gordon was considered the best chef, which was how they selected their chief. Even if he was irascible. You call those chips? He asked, insulted at the potato dish that Tanya had created as a peace offering. Its so raw, the reason theres no fish there is because it went and swam off! He shouted. Tanyas eye twitched. Yes, her cooking wand only functioned as well as she could imagine the cooking process, but they were perfectly serviceable french fries. The changemancy even added salt and pepper! She ate one of them. Well, okay, they did seem a touch undercooked She waved the wand at the meal again Ramsey., then tried another. Much better. How about now? She asked, annoyed. Chief Gordon sampled another. Its not crap. Was his judgment. Tanya looked over the rest of the hex. The snowy caps of the Alfs were beautiful vistas, the perfect place to stay for a turn. They had found a rather large herd of feral alfalfas, which were grazing units that had plant matter for fur and corrosive spit, and had started hunting. At the same time, the tribe of ALFs showed up to do the same. As they not only overpowered the advanced infantry-class ALFs but also outnumbered them, Chief Gordon immediately called out for peaceful contact. While Tanya was perfectly willing to kill hundreds and thousands of people to ensure the continued survival of herself and her men (who were her only defense against archon hit squads), that didnt make her a savage. So ruins hexes arent city sites? Tanya asked after the meal was over. No. Chief Gordon said, Ruins hexes are gifts from the Titans, waiting for a lucky commander to come find whats hiding inside. Tanya looked in the direction of the ruins hex they were discussing. So Natural allies cant use them? No. Chief Gordon said sadly. Its a more comfortable place for us to rest than the other hexes, but the Titans do not bless us with its bounty. Lets see whats there. Tanya decided. Ill split it with you if its a gem. The high mountain hexes surrounding the ruins hex were the tallest ones Tanya had ever seen, requiring five move from the units who were not equipped with the mile high club shoes, and the peak of the mountain where the ruins hex was took six. The mountain-capable ALFs took no penalties though, and the ones with the shoes took two and three. Passage would be impossible for a unit without a relevant movement special. So she went alone. As they traveled up the mountain, Chief Gordon continued to explain the mysteries behind the ruins hex. The longer it stays unplundered, the greater the prize. Back when we were allied with Tanners, They figured that once every ten turns was a good balance between getting a benefit without other sides scooping them on it and having a chance at something good. We were allied with them for one thousand, two hundred and eighty turns, through four rulers and ninety-nine episodes with the ruins. He chuckled. Ah, they were a bunch of idiot sandwiches, but they had a good run. He shrugged, In those ninety-nine, they got four artifacts. Rare, but so powerful. Artifacts? Tanya asked, intrigued. Like the Arkentools? Even among artifacts, the Arkentools are crazy. Nothing like what that Charlie guy has. Chief Gordon corrected, But yeah, how do you think the Arkentools were found? Ruins hex, each one. I guarantee it. As they entered the ruins hex, Tanya shuddered as the cold redoubled. So how long has it been since anyones been here? Tanya asked. Oh, a couple hundred turns, I think? Chief Gordon said, unsure. There may have been some plundering done when we werent watching the place. But if not, then yeah, about two hundred turns. So how does this work? Tanya asked, looking over the snow-blasted buildings. If this was real, this place would have been long eroded to nothing by the wind alone Just look in the buildings, search for some kind of chamber. Chief Gordon said, Thats where the treasure is. After a beat, he added: Watch for traps, maybe golem defenders. Chamber? Hm. Tanya reached into her dress and pulled out a fistful of wands. I think I have one thats useful here She murmured. Okay, the bomb-shaped one was Findamancy, but it was for Locate City, not the one shes looking for. The snorkel was weirdomancy, for breathing water Ah. This one will work. She put the other wands away and waved it. Couch Cushions! Is that to find the chamber? Chief Gordon asked, curious. No. Tanya replied, This one is to help me find my wands. She reached into a different part of her dress with her new information and pulled out the correct wand. Zoinks! She said, casting Locate Entrance, which was a findamancy spell to find hidden doors and caves. Pulled along by the wand, Tanya walked through the blisteringly cold ruins, which was even inflicting a hit or two worth of damage according to her Analysis. Soaked by her Barrier, of course. Eventually, she found the chamber in question, a basement with a wooden trap door, and opened the place up. Inside was a grand underground arena, with a heavy golem waiting in front of a treasure chest. Tanya drew her pistol and destroyed the golem in two shots. Hm, what do we have here? She said, eagerly opening the chest. Images of artifacts, taken from video games or legends, flashed through her head. But A gem? Tanya asked incredulously. Its just a stupid gem? ARGH! It wasnt exactly a small gem, either, thirty-thousand shmuckers, enough to turn a city site into a level 2 city right off the bat. For a normal Barbarian Warlord, it would be a treasure of immense value. For her? Junk. She went outside, split the gem as promised with moneymancy, and left the hex in a huff, paying very close attention to the heartstrings of the ALFs as she did so. They seemed friendly enough, but without that assurance, she never would have gone off alone with them. Still, hunting down ruins hexes sounded like a fine pastime for the future, after this job was over Chapter 2.04 Tanyas next target was one of the Empires capital sites. It was the weakest one, only level four. No. (_) Im not going to keep it long-term. Just for a few turns at most. Tanya sent the angry note through hat magic and moved on to her other conversation. If all goes well, Ill be able to visit all of you today. It depends on how the Lookamancy report goes. Elya replied first. Will you be needing me to turn any prisoners? Id love to ply my trade. As Tanya was writing the reply to that, Queen Virginias reply came in. Come onnnn, bestie, you should get back on a throne! /\(v-v). Its a good spot for a breakaway side! Tanya turned back to her letter to the Magic Kingdom. Im not going to keep the city, but I suppose that particular cruelty is something Ive done before. Youre welcome to the prisoners. After all, while Elya was currently loyal, that was something that could change in the future. Below that statement, she added: Status of everyone over there? That done, she took out yet another piece of paper from her Inventory and wrote another missive to Queen Virginia. It really isnt.?_? Sure, theres the natural barrier of the Alps- Wait. She used a drop of juice to rip the ink back into the pen. -the Alfs, but there are no less than three mountain-capable units among local sides. Well, that counts the Alfs themselves, in addition to the Alfalfas and the Hanniphants. The former were mounts, and the latter heavy mounts. It just wasnt that good of a natural barrier with those tools available. Of course, the real reason was that she wasnt far enough away from Charlie. She wasnt sure how far was far enough, but the idea of settling here unsettled her. Life on Erf had taught her to trust her Intuition. More importantly, (??????????? ?)? Im not so foolish as to set up shop in a place where my only ally is so far away, surrounded by enemies. Now, that lookamancy map? After sending that message, Tanya stretched and looked at her troops, who were milling about, waiting for orders. ...Visha, do you think that the troops would prefer to stay here? If we take that capital site today? Visha took a moment to think through the question. ...I think that even if they did want a place to stay, theyd trust you that this site isnt secure. Tanya nodded to herself. Yeah, that sounded like her soldiers. In her minds eye, she strummed the heartstrings that bound them together, creating a pleasant sound that only she could hear. Noticing her attention, her troops firmed up into orderly formations and blew off some steam with some mid-air marching. Her crown rumbled with another incoming message. From the quality of the paper, this one was from Sir Eric Blair the Lookamancer. Ah, the tacsit is here. Tanya said, unfolding the map. She had noticed, after studying the region map that Elya had sent her, purchased from the Findamancer guild, that the Continental Break actually resembled Europe if you turned your head and squinted. Literally, in this case. She needed to turn the map ninety degrees to notice it. So the region she was invading, surrounded by more chasm hexes, was the Cheese Region, the equivalent of Switzerland. The capital site was called HAM, short for Hard As Mountain, and according to Chief Gordon the side that it used to be before the Empire conquered it were some hardy folk. The defenses were reasonable. It would be a tough nut to crack certainly, but it was defended mostly by garrison troops and other static defenses. The field troops were stripped to the bone, the only remaining field troops being a small strike force of cavalry, a force that Tanya assumed were for dealing with ferals or enemy scouts. The real problem would be the golems. Cities, particularly higher level ones, had small sub-zones referred to as defense platforms. Each zone had a certain number that depended on the level and nature of the zone, and each platform supported garrison units that could occupy it. Each platform could handle one stack of units, and a non-novice dirtamancer or a master Signamancer can do quite a bit of shuffling around and modification from that base design concept. This particular city seemed to favor clockwork catapult golems with clock faces as their defensive measure. Normally, this wouldnt be such a big issue, except that firearms have a damage penalty against hard damage reduction, the kind that cant be penetrated by normal Knight-class units and instead require Digger or Siege to overcome. Its why just setting rifles to full auto and shooting a city wall, while it would work, would take a lot more ammunition than a more targeted strike would. Metal golems like these possess hard damage reduction, an expensive but effective upgrade. It wasnt anything that Tanya thought would make them lose anyone critical, and the report noted that there wasnt anything noteworthy in the area arround it, so she decided to fly up and take a peek herself. [Watchers] Combat 29 Defense 21 Hits: 39 Move: 0 (Garrison) Specials: Ballistician (Launcher), Golem (Dollamancy), Hard Signature: Made by Rolex Davis Hm, Looks like a +5 combined Chief Warlord/Master Dollamancer bonus, as expected. +8 fortification bonus (which due to Ballistician applies to Combat too), +4 stack bonus, each platform supports two, groups of four platforms are clustered close enough together to give a stack bonus, no current leadership bonus but that can change That Signature line was new, but she assumed it was some vanity thing a signamancer did, a Trademark spell or whatever. Shell ask Janis about it later. [Hans, Level 5 knight] Combat: 32 Defense: 24 Hits: 9 Move: 63 Specials: Flight, Recon Bonuses: Barrier (4/1), Camouflage 8 base at five, +2 defense from armor, +10 combat from the rifle, +8 stack, +6 leadership from Newsman Yeah, pretty dangerous. Could be even more so if the dollamancer equipped them with enchanted ammunition to provide additional bonuses, too. That wouldnt pop up on Analysis. Idly, Tanya noted that her crown was shaking, so she redirected the incoming message to Vishas hat, a trick that Prince Trammennis had taught her. Would she be able to overwhelm them with bullets? By her math, it would take eight bullets each to destroy two clusters on the tower, three clusters total on the walls two more in the garrison fifty-six golems? Yeah, thats a normal number of defense platforms for a level four city. Hm. Cant precision single-shot croak them with only a four to one advantage cant use mathamancy to augment the precision when switching to automatic fire, a lot of wasted shots there from overboop, might run out of ammunition before the citys fully taken out It looks like her juice is best spent on foolamancy to reduce the number of attacks they aim at her units, that would do the most good, she thinks. She cant protect everyone, but Tanya returned to the muster point. They had to attack soon, or the turn would end. Elyas Magic Kingdom report is in. Visha volunteered. So thats what that message was. She felt mildly ashamed that she got too distracted by tactical matters to remember that she was waiting for that. Ill read it later. Tanya said, We need to plan. One of the newer warlords, Craig von Blitz, chuckled. Do we, though? With these accessories, we really just need to shoot the anti-air then we clean up. Tanya glared at him. Im so glad you volunteered for the vanguard. Once the warlords were gathered, Tanya kept an eye on the sun as she explained the battle plan. Okay, so its going to be tricky to take this city without significant losses. In this case, and they know this, she defined significance for a force such as this one as over ten units. A bit perfectionist, but replenishing their numbers takes a while. One of you jokers may even croak if they get lucky, so pay attention. Tanya used Foolamancy to create an image of the city. Okay, so while the Lookamancy report couldnt find any firearms, this is still a capital site, and thus we can expect some last-minute assistance from the wider side. Pistols sent via hat, for example. In fact She made the shining red portal glow brighter in the wireframe. This site has an active portal. This is not the primary capital site. Theyve done something. So caster backup is a distinct possibility if we dither. With that concrete oddity pointed out, the last of the jovial atmosphere vanished. Each and every one of her subordinates were focused on the briefing, knowing their lifes potentially hung in the balance. Ill be entering with one vanguard stack to bait out the tower, using foolamancy to create a false image of additional forces. We must be careful and minimize our profile against the defense platforms, there are seven stacks of them. With proper placement, we can limit our exposure to only four of them at once. Once the signal is given, the rest of you will follow suit. I will fake us focus-firing with all forces on the stacks of defense platforms at a time, using automatic fire to give the illusion of excessive force. Making everyone use it was clearly a bad idea, theyll run out, but one stack increasing ammunition use was completely different. This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work. Von Blitz saluted. I will gladly charge into hellabad at your side, your highness! She could feel his fear, his heartstring trembling as he realized just how dangerous his assignment was. I will defend you with my life! Good. He understands. Dont worry so much. She said to lighten the mood. Youll have my full bonus, after all. To emphasize the point, she stacked up with him. As von Blitz was only level 4, her lowest level warlord, the difference to her +8 bonus doubled was substantial. Properly heartened by the heady feeling of bigger numbers, von Blitz nodded firmly. Well be as the Titans themselves! Tanya stared disapprovingly at his arrogance, but then decided to just move on. Now, well need to maximize confusion for the shock and awe tactics, so Ill need your special accessory for this, Visha. You go towards the other side of the city --------------------------- Now, foolamancy has a few drawbacks. In most cases, you couldnt make an illusion in a hex you werent in. There were two common ways around this, both of which were blending foolamancy with an erf axis discipline, which was typically necessary for most effects that impacted other hexes. Much like how fate-axis effects were typically necessary for most effects that impacted units directly. The first way was with Lookamancy. Isaac had theorized that the Recon special might be enough to let her project foolamancy across a single hex border, but she couldnt get it to work. Headmasters typically used this method to well, show off, mostly. Thinkagrams were better in basically every way for communication. The second way was with Shockamancy. By transmitting the foolamancy into an energetic form, specifically beams of light, you could create a connection to the senses of another hex, creating crude, simple foolamancy effects that could not be seen through. By crude and simple, of course, you couldnt do much of anything youd expect from a foolamancer. What you could do, on the other hand is Flash them. If there was a spell in her wand that executed the effect in the right way, Tanya didnt know the words. But precisely because it blended two disciplines, her basic, not-even-novitiate shockamancy skill was sufficient to cast the spell. If only it wasnt so embarrassing! She flew in sight of the city, and she saw them trying to position themselves. On the other side of the city, Visha flew up. Focusing on the the magic, Tanya took a deep breath, and, simultaneously with her most steadfast warlady flipped up her skirt. A great flash of light seared the eyes of the hundreds of enemy units that stared at the no doubt wondrous sight, either of them. The veiled stack, von Blitz- Craig, she should use his first name, came into visibility, now that they could not be seen, and Tanya cast completely different foolamancy as she let her skirt fall back down and charged in. To the eyes of the enemy, ninety knights invaded the skies, each armed with rifles in a scattershot formation. Immediately, the tower, a stack of knights led by a warlord standing at the only non-sealed entrance, started firing defense spells. Meanwhile, the four stacks of golems that could aim in their direction started firing. Their first target was one of the garrison platforms, eighteen knights firing full auto to tear the golems apart. Full-auto was an interesting mechanic. On one hand, it literally multiplied your attacks by half of the number of consumed bullets, with the others going wild. In a large crowd of infantry, those shots would still probably hit something. Or several somethings. When attacking a fortified position like that? The rest are just going to damage the platform itself. On the other hand, it also reduced ones damage per bullet, as there was a minor damage bonus that scaled off the difference between your combat and their defense, to reflect exceptional aim, and burst fire removed that bonus. With one hundred and eighty attacks, and twenty damage halved, heavies of that size reduce damage by four, plus one from Hard eight bullets each, sixty-four per stack needed. So the plan was to have each subordinate unit aim for a specific golem among two platforms, and the full autos ten attacks should destroy them, with von Blitz finishing off any that missed. Tanya would focus on foolamancy, throwing in some mathamancy-augmented orders to help them dodge the ballistic trajectories of the enemy attacks that do get flung their way. Still, after two rounds of combat, the golems that could shoot at them had fallen, the tower had unloaded its spells, few enough that Tanya spared a moment to double-check whether or not it was hiding anything. [Black-Tall Tower, Level 4] Juice: 0/1200 Defense Platforms: 8/16 Ah. They did the opposite of what Sizemore did, and minimized the amount of juice the city could store in return for making it low-maintenance, not requiring any additional input. With anti-air like those golems, she can understand why. Besides, its not like they came out unscathed. Tch. While her foolamancy was able to defend them completely from the first set of attacks, with only a single well placed shockamancy spell managing to shatter twelve of their barriers the second set was far more successful, as she had dutifully simulated a believable number of her forces falling to their attacks and thus there were fewer decoys to consume their attention. Well, the tip of the spear is finished Tanya murmured, as the remains of her stack fell back. From the flash provided by Victorias Secret accessory, the rest of their forces invaded, the larger number of firearms easily mopping up the other three defense platforms and moving on to take the city. Hm. You actually survived. Tanya said in surprise as she looked at her fellow warlord. He was missing a leg, but of the four units still in this portion of the sky, two of them were warlords. One of the things she tested with this plan was the nebulous Fate protection that she possessed as being the one Fated to croak Charlie. Supposedly, it meant that her own safety would be assured in dangerous times at the cost of her subordinates lives. It could be overwhelmed, but effectively, it meant that she would always be the last one in her stack to croak if she wasnt stupid about it. Given how she was completely pristine while her stack was ravaged? Thats another data point in favor. Your Highnes- no, Your Majesty, it would be my greatest shame to have lived to see you take a single hit of damage if I could have prevented it. I had strayed from my Number by questioning you, and have performed my penance in the eyes of the Titans by my service. Fabian 4:11-20. Ah, Scripture. Always a barrel of laughs. Still, absorbing the wrath of the majority of their anti-air on foolamancy and wasteful ammo consumption meant that the damage they took was limited to merely the fourteen croaked knights, plus whatever overeager private gets themselves croaked in the land battle. While she had guessed that there would be some additional resistance brought out from the portal glowing menacingly below them, it never materialized and the rest of the battle proceeded with only two additional casualties. The instant she was prompted to name her new side, she smiled and called it: Schnitzeland. Somehow, it worked. After reading Elyas report, which was gossip-dense but without strategic merit, Tanya stuck her head out of the portal into the Magic Kingdom, looking around for Elya. Over here! She shouted, using foolamancy to project her voice without overly disturbing anyone. Elya was standing around waiting with Sizemore, Janis, Maggie, and Kurt, and they all immediately started walking towards the freshly converted portal. Your Majesty! Elya shouted joyfully. Youre back! Its nice to see you too. Tanya said, a wide smile on her face. Once they were through the portal: Its only temporary, Elya. Tanya reminded her. If any of you would like to turn for the duration, youre welcome to, but I dont plan on keeping this city. Turning had to be offered by a commander of the relevant side, so she had to say it in order to meet that obligation. Even me? Kurt asked, amused. Tanya frowned. I wouldnt imagine you wanting to, but yes, the offers open to both of you as well. She said, waving her hand to encompass Janis in the offer. I appreciate the thought, but no thank you. Janis said simply. Elya and Maggie both turned on the spot, but Sizemore begged off. If its temporary, I dont really see the point. I do owe you for the large gem horde, so Ill help you, but He looked at Janis for support. She nodded imperceptibly. ...I havent decided. He finished, to the tiniest frowns from Janis. Tanya waved off any offense. I didnt expect any of you to be so eager to leash yourselves to me when you had an option otherwise. That was the right thing to say, from Sizemores relieved smile. She turned to her other two casters. I am pleased that you two felt comfortable enough to do so, however. You wont regret it. So, I cant help but notice that this portal didnt suddenly appear. It was already active. Kurt observed. Not sure what thats about. Tanya admitted, The treasury was empty when I captured the city. It still was, as she hadnt used moneymancy on the enemy bodies yet. She pointed towards the courtyard where the captured units were. Your duties are that way, Elya. Vishas watching over them, shell keep you company. Elya gave a happy hum as she went to go influence the prisoners into turning. Tanya deliberately did not think about how exactly she did so. Once they were all seated at a suitable venue, Tanya used a city function to cause a snack to pop for everyone, drawn from the larders. There was an inefficiency for doing so without using courtiers to do so manually, but it wasn''t a big deal. By the power of signamancy, the meat pastry she named the side after popped in addition to some mugs of beer. Perfect. She only had the chance to eat it once at the orphanage, and this example was even better. Hmmm Maggie stopped casting. While Im only a novice in Lookamancy, what Im seeing is clear: None of the nearby cities have turned barbarian. Troubling. Tanya commented, So it was as if the entire side turned to another right before we finished our conquest, with the treasury drained as well. Sizemore frowned. ...Well, our only evidence that this capital site was an actual capital was the portal. What if it wasnt, and they just found a way to turn the portal on anyway? Kurt grunted. It does fit the evidence, but He turned to Janis. Could this be done with complex enough signamancy? A binding alliance? Janis hesitated. ...Well, the side thats your enemy, Ill be polite and not say the name, their Chief Caster is Pact Romano, who is a Signamancer. Hes the one responsible for the pain-word in the sides name, and hes long been a proponent of one side ruling the world as a path to peace. Its not a stance that has won him many friends in the Glade. She shrugged, Automagical turning, automagical treasury management both of which can be done, so they may be doing something like that, binding subordinate sides together so tightly theyre practically one side. I wouldnt call them my enemy, but thank you for the information. Tanya said, It doesnt impact my plan much, beyond affirming that staying near such a side would be a mistake. They have guns, you know. Tanya reached into her dress and pulled out the spare pistols. They dont have many, these were all in the hands of warlords, but thats a matter of time. Yes, the Great Minds are not happy with Prince Jack right now. Kurt said, unconcerned. The amount of shmuckers being flooded into the Carnyvale is causing massive ripples in the Magic Kingdom economy. He shook his head ruefully. The carnies arent used to being able to buy simple luxuries, so theyre going a little crazy with it. The shmuckers being flooded into the already-rich octants is a smaller problem, even if more of the money is going to them. I think we may have made a rather large mistake. Janis said, which was awfully considerate of her to include herself given that she had no part in the gun creation. Tanya waved off the statement. Charlies the one who made them. She insisted, Were merely evening the battlefield. If he didnt have them, our initial attack would have worked fine. Theyre overpowered, is what they are. Overpowered Maggie said, thinking about it. You know, maybe we should try to ban guns? Declare them OP? Tanya blinked. Isnt that what I just said? OP is a heretical class of magic. Kurt explained, Using it gives you a blanket ban from using the Magic Kingdom, for you and any of your allies. Its distinct from other kinds of crimes in that its relatively simple to get off the ban list, just forswear the use of the OP magic and youre back in. With signamancy backing the oath, presumably. Still, Tanya wasnt so sure that was a good idea. Its worth considering. She said passively. But enough about such heavy topics. Eat, weve got a few things to do before the end of the day. Chapter 2.05 As usual, when attacking a city from the air successfully, any units that had been placed in the wall and tunnel zones were automagically captured once all three garrison zones were captured and the city changed hands. One might consider this a foolish move in comparison to putting everything in those garrison zones so your city could fight to the last man but those zones held much better defensive bonuses in comparison to the garrison zones, so it was just an inherent tradeoff to the process. As such, Elya had plenty of troops to turn to the fresh side of Schnitzeland to form as the first shield against enemy invasion. At first, she turned all of the commanders, and Tanya went around to the groups of normal troops and gave a speech, promising a bribe of greater rations and a chance to prove themselves to the Titans that they deserve more than the mediocre afterlife that awaited them if they didnt. With light magical nudges from Elya linked up with Maggie, this turned enough to cascade into a total conversion without requiring much juice, all five hundred or so infantry, eighty knights, and five warlords all acting as the anvil of their defense. Elya then spent the rest of her and Maggies juice accelerating the replenishment of their flying knight casualties. That wasnt much this turn, but when combined with the next turn it would repop all sixteen casualties from the last turn plus the ten from the battles before and allow them to shift to popping more speedbump units. Sizemore, for his part, started setting up traps and other fortifications, turning the golem defense platforms into protected firing positions for rifle-wielding knights. To finish their preparations, Tanya took out her primary tool for having a restful day: A black ball on a stick, one of her many wands, and plugged it into her primary wand. She had wanted to have at least one for each discipline she couldnt cast herself well, although she couldnt get her hands on any Stagemancy wands for some reason. Will Schnitzeland be attacked today? She asked before shaking the wand and saying the magic word: Mattel. She could sense the juice depleting as the display on the end calculated, a blue triangle appearing with the words My sources say no. She shook it again. Will this city be attacked tomorrow? She asked, Mattel. My reply is no. displayed the wand. Perfect. The wand says no attacks today or tomorrow. Tanya reported, which prompted sighs of relief from the barbarian casters. The wand was useful, but one of the things about Predictamancy is that it was incredibly useful if you understood its limits. In this case, she knew without a doubt that there would be no attacks, and could thus act with impunity without care for security. That didnt mean shed give all the troops a day off, mind you, as doing such a thing would be tempting Fate, which Kurt had explained was a bad idea, but it meant that all she needed to do was put the soldiers at their stations so that they could theoretically respond to an attack, but also let them play cards or whatever without worrying that it would reduce their ability to respond to an attack, just that they were kept busy with guard duty, just enough responsibility that there wouldnt be a significant amount of damage to the city that would need to be repaired with dirtamancy from bored soldiers. The key was that if it said yes that didnt tell her anything about how big the attack is, or what Fate had to say about how successful their defense will be. This particular wand could only predict attacks, too. So it could say unclear or ask again later if she tried to get fancy with it, or asked about time frames later than tomorrow.. But as long as she used it only to know when she needed to be watching the hex borders or when she could safely spend the day in the Magic Kingdom, it worked perfectly. With the important matters settled, Tanya wasnt quite sure what to do. After thinking about it, she figured the customary thing to do would be to throw a party. That was definitely the royal special talking, but it seemed rather appealing, to relax in the company of friends and good food. She could afford the luxury, after all. But would she just be indulging in her own vanity, or would it be enjoyable for her subordinates? How would she tell? Hmmm Tanya closed her eyes and examined the heartstrings connecting her to her subordinates. She knew that they were entwined with the thinkamancy strings that connected a ruler to their units could she? It would be a bit like a social media poll, just magical. Date-a processing. Consumed with the idea, she combined her understanding of date-a-mancy with her memories of social media, strumming the mass strings with an idea, and listening to the tones they echoed back. After a few minutes of testing the magical waters, inspiration flowed and she said the magic words of her new spell: Vanilla Extract! Well, that settles it. --------------------------- [Lady Victoria von Secret, Chief Warlord of Schnitzeland, Level 7] It had been tenturns since she had gotten to wear a pretty dress. It was great that Queen Tanya decided to hold a ball for everyone. She had even sprung for some new duds from the Magic Kingdom, assigning two stacks of gun-wielding knights led by the two warlords that were least inclined towards formal balls to guard her usual dress that was currently holding enough wealth in gems to buy two sides. Still, Victoria got to enjoy herself, dancing to the music that Headmaster Isaac arranged from a foolamancy-favoring Headmaster by the name of Bill Hershey. The Master-class foolamancer also provided some quite interesting flavor illusions, having brought some chocolate-coated wafer bars created by the mans changemancer brother Milton and making them taste like all kinds of things, such as cheesecake, milk tea, strawberry, and even some things Victoria had never heard of, like wasabi and matcha. Whatever they were, Queen Tanya loved them. She had even returned the flavor, as she put it, by creating a miso soup flavor for the chocolate wafer dessert with her own foolamancy, which Bill seemed to appreciate. Victoria sighed as she stepped away from the dance floor, leaving von Gratz behind. He was nice and all, and clearly besotted with her but she didnt feel the same way. She went towards where Elya was holding her own sort of court, at the bar. Oh, you! Elya said coquettishly to Matt von White. Youre the lucky ones, able to follow and protect Queen Tanya. I do my best to help her where I can, but theres only so much I can do without running afoul of the laws of the Magic Kingdom. Queen Tanya would never endorse such a thing. Victoria pointed out in agreement, settling into the bar stool beside her friend. Exactly. Elya said, giving Victoria a one-armed hug as she joined the bar-stack. Hows being a Chief Warlady working out for you? Despite deserving it, Elya was not the Chief Caster. Maggie was a level 6 Master-class Thinkamancer and had started to develop Lookamancy, so Elyas latest level up to 6 didnt cause a promotion. Victoria hummed, looking around at her various subordinates mixed in with some barbarians from the magic kingdom. Its not much different than when I was the Chief Warlord for Yojo Mojo. She said, shrugging. She didnt get a lot of time as the Chief, just the few turns between Prince Ansoms defeat and their evacuation from the Minty Mountains. I just deal with the small details that arent worth the Queens attention. Well, back then Queen Tanya was also habitually duplicating herself, so she had a lot of attention to go around then. Really, according to Scripture, she should be doing more than she has been. Queen Tanya liked to fill her entire day with as much side-management as she could, only delegating decision-making to her or the other Warlords when she was too busy to tend to them herself. It was improper for a ruler to do such a thing rather than delegate to the Chief Warlord and Caster. Well, Queen Tanya didnt get that much time to acclimate to being a ruler, so it was somewhat understandable that she may have had a hard time adjusting. She always delegated some things, at least. Like scouting routes. Wasting as little move as possible while getting the most scouting area was a very annoying part of being a scouting warlord, but someone had to stop the scouts from running into each other. If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. Elya passed Victoria a drink, which was gratefully accepted. One of the many blessings the Titans have given their favored children was alcohol. This particular drink was sweet, the bartender was a Florist by the name of Rose Bowl and she had many exotic drinks. They passed the time with a discussion on the relative attractiveness of the party attendees, when suddenly she realized that their stack had received an Order from the Queen: bring her a drink. Through the natural date-a-mancy of being in a stack together, the final decision of who was to actually execute that order fell to her authority as Chief Warlord. Rose Bowl put the Queens drink on the bar, her role complete as the contracted ally. Victoria picked it up as well as her own drink and started to walk towards the Queen. If her movements had more sway than was usual, that was clearly the fault of her own intoxication. It certainly drew Tanyas attention, and Tanya silently invited Victoria to sit next to her on the couch she was occupying. Your drink, your majesty. Victoria said as she flounced onto the seat, holding it to her. Thank you, Visha. Tanya said pleasantly. Eee! She took a sip of the beverage, then hummed in approval as she took a deeper drink. Ah, now this is quality liquor. She commented, raising her glass in Rose Bowls direction. Last time I had something this nice was the Corporate retreat back in 09. She giggled. Ah, Daikoku-sama was so bad at golf. But was anyone else allowed to beat him? No. Victoria looked at her side, and noticed that this was not Queen Tanyas first drink of the evening. She always started using her impenetrable otherworldly jargon when she was drunk. She was still mostly understandable, so she wasnt drunk enough to require an exit strategy. Whats golf? She decided to ask. Tanya took a moment to digest the question. ...Actually, youd need like two hexes in order to have a good length golf course, now that I think about it. She waved her hand, creating a fuzzy green oval with foolamancy. Okay, golf is technically a sport. You have a club, and a tiny ball, and you hit the ball with the club towards the goal, which is a small hole in the ground. Tanya took another sip of her drink. Theres tons of specifics on the proper way to play, of course, but thats the rough idea. Fewest strokes to make it in the hole wins. Course of nine or eighteen holes. One of the free casters, a Florist with decrepit signamancy named Charlie MacDonald, seemed intrigued at this golf. Yannow the Magic Kingdom is larger there than most hexes. He pointed out, Could maybe set one up near the coast, go around the Island, and let the free casters play, e i e i o all the way home. How the hippiemancer managed to fit meaning into those random letters, conveying both frivolity and ease, was beyond Victorias understanding. Signamancers Tanya waved off the suggestion. If you want to, I suppose I could outline how it was done, but dont expect me to pay for anything. I prefer tennis. She took another drink, leaning into Victorias side. Mmm Tomorrow. She said, putting off the subject of golf. She took another drink of her wine. You know, maybe you should slow down, your majesty. suggested one of the Great Minds. Im tha boss. Tanya replied, as if that explained anything. Nuns allowed ta be drunker than me, issa rule. Victoria blinked. She had never heard of such a rule. So if I want errryone to have a good time, I gotta smash. She giggled at her accidental innuendo. Get smashed. She corrected, Im not complaining, though! She finished, upturning the rest of her drink into her mouth. Victoria just wrapped an arm around her queen, letting the drunk ruler cuddle up, giggling idly, as she stared out into space. This was fine. After all, Tanya had Victoria to keep her safe. --------------------------- [Queen Tanya von Degurechaff, level 8 ruler of Schnitzeland] Tanya had, unfortunately, miscalculated. When they founded the side, their turn was suspended, and resumed towards the end of the day. They were then able to spend any leftover Move without any issue, which was only about 20 move per knight but a ten hex radius around the city was plenty to check the nearest bridge and wipe out the small but extant garrison there with a few stacks that were sober. The miscalculation was the fact that she wouldnt get cleansed from the party until the next turn start, the last turn of the day, which meant that she woke up with a hangover. Ugh Tanya groaned as she hugged her big warm pillow closer. Too loud She whined. After a moment, Tanya registered that someone was stroking her hair. This was odd enough that her brain finally turned on, and she realized that her pillow was in fact her Chief Warlady. Well, shed woken up like this after a party before, albeit with a duplicate Visha, so she retained enough composure that she decided to silently order Maggie to come by and cure her hangover, instead of doing anything that would intensify her headache. Mornin. She mumbled. Tanya, youre using moon-speak again. Visha whispered, Whats hayo mean? Tanya buried her head deeper in Vishas chest in embarrassment. After a silent moment, Maggie entered the room. Ephedra. She intoned, sending a burst of juice into Tanyas head. Instantly, her hangover vanished and she could think clearly. Ah, thank you. She said, running a hand through her tangled curls. Tch. This is unacceptably messy. Wheres my- Tanya stopped as she looked around. Ah, her best dress is right there. To answer your question, Visha, Ohayo means good morning. Fortunately, there were only other girls present, so Tanya just started changing her clothes right there. Maggie, is there anything I need to attend to this morning? The thinkamancer had changed a lot since Gobwin Knob. Whereas before, she gave the impression of a stern school principal, older but not elderly, her signamancy had shifted to more of a mature academic with a dash of hypercompetent secretary. She still had the ashen gray skin and whitened hair from her ordeal maintaining a single link for tenturns, but they now just made her look a bit exotic rather than aged. Well, all of the barbarians returned to the Magic Kingdom at night with no issues, except of course for those bound by contract, who slept while locked in to designated rooms. Maggie began, which dispelled Tanyas last anxiety about last night. Its currently the barbarian turn, and Janis Atlantis is down in the dungeons meeting room ready to execute the exchange of Rands for gems, as was arranged last night. Tanya didnt remember that, but figured it was worth it even if she drunkenly negotiated a less than optimal price point. As long as it wasnt worse than the Gild Banks rate. Anything else? Tanya asked as she put on the faux-military mini-coat that her dress included to modify her silhouette. You have some correspondence awaiting reply at your desk, but other than that nothing that cant wait until our turn starts. Maggie reported, bending over to pick up Tanyas shoes and presenting them to her. Janis first. Tanya decided, putting on the heeled shoes without trouble and fishing out the wand shed been wanting to use for a while. Hildebrand. Suddenly, the somewhat sloppy fit of her clothes automatically adjusted themselves perfectly to her as they were spontaneously laundered, the vaguely grody feeling she felt by waking up and dressing without bathing went silent, the knots and tangles in her hair straightened themselves out before falling artfully into her hairs usual curls, a smell vanished that she didnt notice until it was absent, and even her teeth were fully clean and gleaming. Ah. Much better. It was a very comfortable outfit, but even velvet and silk felt off when one was dirty. She put the wand, which was shaped like a hairbrush, away and pulled out a different wand, one that looked like an oversized tube of lipstick, and walked to her vanity mirror to better visualize what she was doing. May Believe. Was it wasteful to have a wand just so she can fix her makeup? Yes. But all of her wands also served as juice batteries that, due to her artifact wand, can be used on pretty much anything even if they didnt replenish on their own, so she didnt feel bad about it. Now properly dressed as the queen she was, Tanya put the wands away and picked up her primary wand, checking how much juice it had. Nothing? Oh, right. She used moneymancy to clean up the bodies yesterday. That was why the treasury had shmuckers in it instead of it being empty. Didnt even have enough juice, she had to tap into some of her wands. Shell need to recharge those today. Luckily she had the presence of mind to remember she would need her cleaning and makeup wands this morning due to the turn delay. Visha had also changed clothes to make herself presentable, and with a nod of approval, the two of them went on to conduct business. --------------------------- As was Predicted, there was no retaliation for their conquering of the capital site before turns start, with a fresh supply of juice and an additional six garrison knights popped, which were not promoted to field unit yet to save on upkeep while the rest of their cohort popped next turn. Without needing to turn all those units, Elya and Maggie could focus their attention solely on accelerating the citys production. Really, turnamancy production boosts were incredibly inefficient in comparison to, say, golem production, and was atrocious in comparison to turning enemy units of ordinary levels of loyalty. But it still let them, by spending all of their juice while linked, produce sixteen turns of production in just one turn. But they didnt have enough rifles and Barrier jackets for that many if garrison, and needed more than that for non-garrison, but they spent it anyway on the assumption that they could use the excess to replace losses from a strike that used Chocoland, which is what they renamed the city to, as a base camp. Four hundred shmuckers per promotion wasnt exactly nothing, but it was quite affordable when compared to the amount of shmuckers they would spend on upkeep taking those extra turns to pop them. Although shes noticed that the garrison knights are never Nobles They had enough to act as backup warlord promotions, about twenty knights had the distinctive von, so it wasnt a big deal now, but in the future might be relevant. So Im definitely not going to conquer any more cities this turn, Sir Blair, but next turn Id like to know what kind of resources the Empire can use to retaliate against us taking this city. Tanya said, tapping the map on the other city on this fragment of the Continental Break. Im inclined to say that we can leave it relatively undefended, but we may need to exterminate a field army to do that. Sir Eric Blair, the Albinny Lookamancer, scratched his chin as he looked over the map, bringing attention to his unfashionably scruffy pencil mustache. On seeing the caster in the flesh, Tanya thought author, always making notes on paper on various physical details of things using simple and clear language, instead of anything shed expect a spy to want to know about. Or well; that was the impression she got, and shes learned to trust her instincts when Signamancy was concerned. As you can see He began, issuing orders to the other stack members to place units in accordance with the intelligence he was reporting, -the Empire has adapted to having local flying threats, withdrawing their defense stacks from the bridges and sending them to their cities. Tanya nodded idly. Yeah, there was only so many times she could count on enemy incompetence not seeing her coming. Shed exhausted the element of surprise, so she can expect the Empire to shift their defensive posture to protect against her specifically instead of unknown enemies. What about the sides to the west? Tanya asked. Thats going to take a bit to go over. Sir Blair said, but he started anyway. So its a bright cold day over here in April, and the clocks there go to thirteen Tanya settled in and listened to the political exposition. Chapter 2.06 The first seven turns spent as ruler of Schnitzeland passed without much dramatic occuring. They invaded the surrounding cities, using the contracted lookamancy from Albinny as well as hiring Headmaster Isaac for more, specifically hiring him to better teach lookamancy to Maggie through practical demonstration. It was on the expensive side, but given that Albinnys coffers still flowed into their treasury, it was quite affordable. The main reason Queen Virginia wanted Tanya to permanently settle, after all, was because that would void the mercenary contract. Janis did good work, and as such it was only in effect as long as the intent of the contract was still being upheld. As long as Tanya intended to work against the Empire and then leave, the contract was still in effect. Her warlords had leveled easily with the firepower rifles gave them; the weakest among them was now level six, half of them were seven, and Visha along with von White had leveled to match Tanyas own level eight. Getting the level 1 knights to level three or four was also simple, although it was difficult to keep enough alive to not have at least a few level 1s slowing down the formation without turnamancy to help them out. Despite feeling rather invincible, once she expanded her coterie beyond the original rapid response battalion of reinforced stacks, it was impossible to keep her no-casualties record. Mostly because she attacked far harder targets than she ever did when it was just her, Visha, von White, von Newsman, and von Kurig plus their subordinates. But the Toadies march on another of their capitals was repelled, despite Tanya rolling out the metaphorical red carpet for them, and that meant the Empire had the wherewithal to counterattack. Apparently, the Empire had managed to figure out how to produce their own guns, because they had mounted anti-aircraft guns on Okay, I know what that looks like to me, but Id like your input. Tanya said to Sizemore. Does he even have the word train in his vocabulary? Oh, their dirtamancer, an odious man by the name of Albert von Spear, Which was a bit interesting, that the affectation of using von was shared between their two sides. She knew that it was because she was reborn in a Germanic Empire pre-WWI and these people were clearly signamantically Germanic as well, but it was interesting. In another time, she might have allied with these people. But a jobs a job. -is making minecart tracks to help move the siege emplacements. Its certainly a strategy, but its generally considered a waste of juice, inefficient. How is that man keeping up with his juice demands? Whatever turnamancer they have enchanting the mobile emplacements must be high level, because Ive never seen that kind of speed from a turnamancer vehicle. Elya spoke up: Her name is Myne Camp, also known as Lady Ultra, or Mistress of Ceremonies Ultra. Shes one of those Nobles that pop with completely different signamancy than the side they belong to, but shes a fanatic that the Empires tribe of men is the best in the world. One advantage to having agents and alliances within the Magic Kingdom is getting all sorts of gossip about enemy casters. Very useful. That reminds me. Tanya said, brow furrowing. How does tribal affiliation work? I know Sizemore and Maggie are both of the Plaid tribe, and that my units have their own tribe, Which was Salve or Salvic. It was what the Slavic ethnicity was called in the Empire, and it was a hint on what Being X had planned once the Nazis started rising to power. Not only did he have to make her a blonde-haired, blue-eyed German aged perfectly to be in her twenties when that happened, the bastard had to make her one of the ethnicities that the Nazis hated anyway. -but how does that work? One very good thing about being summoned to Erf was that she didnt need to make a contingency plan for someone blackmailing her into a marriage by threatening to sell out her faked ethnicity to the Gestapo. She never got much further than geld the fucker, which was only a single step in a plan, nowhere near a complete one. Oh, it doesnt mean anything. Sizemore said. Janis nodded in agreement. She was mostly here to support Sizemore, but she was technically hired to provide consulting services, as an experienced caster. Its an unfortunate tendency among certain commanders to ascribe meaning to that facet of their signamancy, as if the Titans have a distinct plan in which it matters. She huffed in amused laughter. If Marie was still around, shed need minutes to recover from her laughing fit. Ah yes, Janis was also friends with that manipulator. Well, Tanya was willing to let bygones be bygones there. Marie was dust in the wind, after all. I have a theory on the rail-line. Tanya announced, But Id like for someone to watch one for the whole turn, see if they do anything unusual with it. Like putting in fuel for an engine. One of the principles of moneymancy was that value could be converted into juice. If one wanted to make train tracks, having the raw materials at hand would make the juice cost of the improvement cheaper, and moneymancy dictated the conversion rate, much like how the physical quantity of food and the amount of upkeep it could mitigate was also moderated via natural moneymancy. The Gobwin Knob Shock Exchange was just the logical end result of that line of thinking. The unusual physics of Erf still had an internal logic, even if the application of the logic seemed off to someone raised in an era of science. But thats why its called magic. I know someone whod be willing to do that. Isaac offered, For a low price. Declining the request and offering a solution in one go, how efficient. She didnt blame him, from her limited understanding of Lookamancy, keeping watch on something for an entire turn isnt difficult, and its kind of expensive but very doable even for a level 1 novice, but its very boring. Make it so. Tanya said, looking over the intelligence collated on the table in front of her. Magic nodded primly and put her hand to her temple, which she had explained was not actually required, but it was a nonverbal cue that she was using magic and was not paying attention to her surroundings. The thinkamancer equivalent to putting ones hand to their head in a phone-like gesture even when using a hands-free phone. Meanwhile Sizemore, you say that making rails would be expensive? Sizemore nodded, Yes, Im not a moneymancer or mathamancer, so I couldnt tell you how many carts hed need to use to make a rail line like that worthwhile, or how long he could make it before the maintenance costs would be impossible, but its more than just the two currently with their column. Tanya glanced at Maggie. She seemed to have finished her negotiations with Isaacs contractor, and with a silent order, a minor telepathic linkup was made that allowed Tanya to cast a calculation with Sizemores understanding of Dirtamancy, without needing an extensive conversation to do it with Language. Without any supplementary dirtamancy, given the maintenance costs, from here to their starting point Given a few other factors, like the strength of their firearm-based platform weaponry -its more efficient to use this rather than additional golem labor to push a traditional platform with double their current forces. Which is a lot less than she expected, given his words. ...Can you make me a railcart? Elya asked, looking carefully at the designs of the platforms. Maybe theres something special about rails that make turnamancy vehicles fast. A changemancer may be required to make a workable vehicle. Kurt suggested, Theyre the casters that modify ships and carts and stuff. No, I can make railcarts fine. Sizemore insisted, Its part of the rail system, so you make the rails and the carts for the rail at the same time. Well, some overlap in the capabilities of two Stuffamancy disciplines did make sense. Ordinary railcarts. Kurt corrected, Not necessarily whatever theyre doing. Sizemores eyes narrowed, offended. Maggie, do you think we can link up? I want to get a good Look at those carts. Tanya liked where this was going. --------------------------- As it turned out, the anti-air gun platforms were actually special golems, a collaborative effort from the Empires thinkamancer, dirtamancer, and turnamancer. Which they also had, but it wasnt a useful innovation for them right now. Incredibly fast along rails, a single one could travel one hundred and twenty hexes of rail in a single turn at the cost of being unable to travel off of rails. So letting them build a rail to their capital was a doomed proposition and also explained how they could reinforce their cities so quickly. Given how much ground a train could cover compared to an army marching on foot yeah sounds about right. Might even be a little slow. Most importantly, the fact they were units instead of objects meant they could not be looted and used against them. The turrets themselves could, which was not nothing, but the golems would require large juice expenses to make work. Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. Yep, more rails in an underground tunnel, with a stack of dorfs maintaining it. Isaac confirmed, using foolamancy to guide the infantry unit that was drawing the rail network on the map. Each stack of dorfs, advanced infantry-class digger units, patrolled the rails, using the natural dirtamancy of their digging special to maintain the tunnels. They were slow, only covering four hexes of rail per turn, but they were able to hunt and forage in those hexes to mitigate their upkeep and even send a little bit of food surplus along the rail lines to eventually make it to whatever fronts they had. Why, then, were they not using such a network to invade Schnitzeland? Its quite simple: The act of conquering the capital and forming a new side had automagically destroyed the tunnels in a seven hex radius, so they couldnt do so easily. The exotic senses she had access to as a ruler would be able to notice hostile terraforming like tunneling within that same radius, which was why it was not a common tactic. In fact, in a way, they were: there was a bit of a surplus army being built up in the tunnels that remained, which would presumably rejoin the column when it approached close enough, ballooning the offensive force the turn before they invade. Clever. It was exactly the kind of blitz-krieg inspired tactic that shed make, given the chance. Come to think of it, she did discuss a similar strategy of making tunnels between their cities for Yojo Mojos Interior Lines doctrine, didnt she? It was dismissed for some reason, although she didnt recall why. It had been a busy few tenturns. So, the rails hes making are just to keep the anti-air turrets functional. Tanya deduced, Its a bluff. The only rails that actually matter are the last seven from the tunnel networks terminus to the citys tunnel zone. That wasnt to say that the rails that were being laid werent functional, it was just a distraction, a target for her to sabotage so theyll catch her off guard with the underground ones. Okay, planning time: Can we defend against them? The numbers are bad. Kurt explained, Even if you maximize production and pull everything you can to the capital over the next ten turns while they get here, you have a 40% chance to win against their currently visible forces. Whatever theyve got waiting down the rail will erase even that chance. With the turned forces and the theoretical production, they could just about match the basic garrison force that was present when Tanya conquered the place herself. A full push from what was essentially three sides in a trenchcoat could not be stopped by that. That assumes theyre not hiding yet another trick. Off the top of my head, they could be only using that slow army to garrison the place afterwards, with the actual invasion force coming in nine, eight, or even seven turns. Theyll need to be tricky about this. --------------------------- Tanya liked their plan. Step one was to have Janis and Sizemore link up and upgrade the city to level 5, also incidentally completely rebuilding the place from the ground up to a customized signamancy. Specifically, one that could pop some kind of firearms-using unit. Despite looking a bit like a WWII propaganda cartoon battlefield, that part failed. However, the backup plan worked perfectly: It completely changed the form that the defenses took, specifically designing itself to work best against the theorized capabilities and attack of the enemy. The tower was adjusted to being high-capacity instead of high-recharge, it was loaded up, and that power was hooked up to some nasty anti-digger defenses, Walls and siege doors that would electrocute anyone who attempted to use digger to bypass them until the tower ran out of juice, and given that the traditional wisdom of going through shockamancy defenses was throw infantry at it until it runs out of juice this meant they would lose a massive amount of units trying. This was at the cost of being unable to use that juice to fight a flying invasion, but she could use shockamancy to do the same with her wand and recharge off the tower if that became necessary. Further, there was a massive cistern at the top of the tower, sending high-pressure water in accordance with the direction of Sizemore, who will direct it to flood their tunnel the instant it breaches, sealing off all routes the water could take but their railway. Water was one of the few things that could cross hex borders, so if it worked properly it could croak their whole force. Instead of the riflemen, the city (now named Stalling Glade, as Janis couldnt resist making the place very green once the rifleman idea failed. Tanya thought naming it after a successful defensive siege was good practice) could produce 3 useful defensive units. First were the Tartans, colorful armadillo-like units that had the Phalanx special, which was a natural Healomancy special that made it so that you couldnt croak any one unit until youd dealt enough damage to croak the whole stack and provided bonuses against area attacks, although as a drawback it also meant you could inflict that damage on just one of them to do so. This was great, because you normally had to put units on a city wall to achieve a similar benefit. They also had a special stack bonus at 300 units, which Tanya was still debating going through with what it would take to get that many within the necessary amount of time, as 300 units with her full bonus plus a non-zero stack bonus would be impressive. It would take a LOT of resources. More importantly, it would still get torn up easily by firearms, although 3600 hits was a lot of hits to get torn through by bullets. A single one of their reinforced stacks going full-auto would do it, though. Unless No, they didnt have enough pull to get that much dollamancy ready. Not worth it. The second unit type were the Bettys. Cartoonish units that were bouncy in more than one way, their primary special was a kind of natural stealth-dirtamancy called Mind the Field, digging little foxholes for themselves and disguising the hole, with a secondary special called Surprise Party that gave them bonuses on stealth attacks and also let them attack massed infantry like heavies, scything through them like wheat with enough bonuses. More importantly, Mind the Field could obscure their position even from dirtamancers, although Tanya didnt like their odds of remaining hidden from a master-class one like von Spear. The fact that they will be unlikely to even guess at their presence should help. As assassination squad of the knight-class units stands a very good chance of mission-croaking a few of the enemys commanders or armaments, either outcome would be fine. For some reason, they were exceptionally foul-mouthed, and they also had the same signamancy censorship Tanya had, so the Bettys said boop a lot. The final unit Tanya had high hopes for. Mickeys were sizable heavy mouse units with rubbery hides that had the Gummy Block special, an amalgamation of several natural magics which gave bonuses against ranged (non-siege, it functioned as Hard against projectiles only on top of a defense bonus) attacks and also made any misses ricochet back to the stack that fired it. Tanya was pleased to get a unit named after the famous Russian tank in WWII, and it should perform nicely against firearms. Sure, they still croaked to guns, but theyll soak a lot of bullets in comparison to literally any other unit on a per-upkeep basis. They even had Mount, large enough to fit four knights atop it! Setting up a similar level of protection to their other four cities was a little tricky, but with Elya using the disposable production boosting spell on the other cities, recharging from her and then spending her full non-linked budget of it on the capital meant they effectively had twelve city-turns of production per turn, six from the four cities and six again from the capital. They were also given substantial fortifications and were upgraded to three for the ones that werent already. The Mickeys had 80 upkeep, and popped at a rate of one per turn, a good rate for a level 3 city unit. They were also fast enough to get to the capital in a reasonable time period, so the outlying cities focused on producing those. They budgeted six turns of production, thirty-six of the Mickeys for that before they made the final decision on whether or not to raze the cities. By arranging these Mickeys into six-stacks, they could mount one of their reinforced rifleman knight stacks on each one by only using three each (two for the command Mickey), as using all four mount slots imposed a penalty on the mount screen. Date-a-mancy linked them to their mount, allowing for a sizable defense force that could quickly deploy from the garrison to any front that had a fallen wall. Using six of her twelve knight stacks on this seemed like a good use of them. The Bouncy Bettys popped at one per turn as well, but could also be popped at two per turn with Garrison, so two turns multiplied by six netted them three stacks of that, placed in two twelve-stacks strategically for optimal ambushes. The rest of the turns were spent popping garrison Tartans, which popped at three per turn ordinarily, so that was thirty-six per turn for five more turns at a minimum, so that was nice. It was much cheaper, juice-wise, to organize them into twelve-stacks with date-a-mancy instead of the full sixteen, so while it would have been easier to instead pop regular infantry, no one with sense would use bullets to croak infantry, so they were dangerous enough to be difficult for the Empires conventional forces to deal with, so as to provoke the expense of more ammunition. Regular infantry wouldnt do that. With these specialized forces, trap defenses, and other fortifications natural to having a level 5 city instead of a level four and having a dirtamancer link up for additional layered defenses, the numbers improved. Their currently displayed forces would lose handily if they tried a frontal assault, and a tunnel invasion ends even worse for them unless they not only bring von Spear directly into the battle, a generally foolish proposition, but he also manages to be on-the-ball enough to fully counter Sizemores super-trap. The only question was: what did they have up their sleeve? Their rail-lined, underground sleeve. --------------------------- Now, one might think that it would be trivial to repeat their previous actions and use rifle skirmishes from outside their column to do some damage. This was not true. Mostly, this was because von Spear made trenches and metal barriers that drastically mitigated any damage their rifles could do. So theyd expend massive amounts of munitions to do comparatively little damage. This didnt, however, apply to all of their units. They had some air cover to hold fliers in place while the anti-air turrets did their thing, non-heavy flying mount birds called Uber Lyfts with knight-class riders known as Wafts, who had a pungent special that imposed penalties on enemy units engaged in melee with them. Uber Lyfts were immune due to being incredibly unhygienic as well, so the Lyft-Waft air force was quite fearsome. Fearsome, but outgunned. With mathamancy to negate the indirect fire penalty, Tanya led a force and croaked most of them in one turn with precision sniper shots, and the rest of them fled the column immediately after to prevent an encore. Ding! Tanya announced after personally croaking the twenty-fifth Lyft-Waft airman she personally shot down and the last one they could reach. In WWI dogfighting lingo, she just became an Ace of Aces. The euphoric feeling of a level-up matched the level of accomplishment she felt at this, and she knew that she had grown some more, now taking on the appearance of a fifteen-year old version of herself with level nine. It was a substantial growth spurt, actually. She only noticed it because she was paying attention, but she must have shot up at least five whole centimeters. Exquisite. She hoped shed grow just as much for level ten, but knew that level eleven would likely be next to nothing. Girls generally finished growing in height at about age sixteen, after all. Congratulations, your Majesty! von Gratz was the first one to speak up, but everyone else started echoing the sentiment quickly afterwards. Now, they had a few other counter-offensive maneuvers to complete Chapter 2.07 There was a particularly inconvenient drawback to the new defense organization: it made them absurdly vulnerable to flying attacks. While yes, her own presence and her knights mitigated that issue, that also meant that anyone with a big flying force and a lookamancer might get the wrong idea. Someone like Bone. It was the most powerful side on the other side of the Alfs, old enough that they had something of a reputation in the Magic Kingdom. Half of this reputation was how handsome, suave, and promiscuous their Overlord, Mark Gold, was. Going down to Bonetown, which was their capital, was code among female casters for doing prostitution work precisely due to how often this service was bought by that ruler. The other half was how successful the Bonans were at invading people with complete and total surprise. They had a foolamancer that was skilled at lookamancy (who notably didnt get along with the Great Minds), plus a croakamancer and a level 11 Chief Warlady, Nero Boner. Tanya didnt initially think them a threat, due to how there were three sides between Schnitzeland and them, but the more she hears about how inconvenient Boners usual invasion strategy was, the more worried she got. Nero, you see, earned the infamous emperors name, as she was considered quite mad. The usual slanders towards non-royals of course, debauchery and dishonorable cruelties, but what actually worried Tanya was her reputation of unpredictability. Boner had the distressing tendency to pop up with zero warning, at the most inconvenient times. The hexes in their areas had lots of roads between the cities, terrain with very little places to hide. Somehow, she manages to surprise people nonetheless, standing tall and proud after every unveiling, and promptly ruining the dignity of whatever battlefield she interrupted with her sudden appearance. Once the battlefields went cold, of course Boner then shrinks away, going back into obscurity until the next bout of rising spirits rouses her to appear once more, spear ready to thrust. Its like middle school tennis regionals all over again. But enough about the potential danger with the objectively hilarious name. Like most problems, this was solvable by hiring the right caster. For a lot of issues, this option was too expensive to be the first resort. But the Hokey Pokeys worked cheaply, and that included Findamancers. Yes, Im familiar with Nero Boner. Shes not small, but rather thin. Likes crawling into tight, damp spaces. Andrew Phisher was the Findamancer that had linked up to create the Summon Perfect Warlord spell, as Findamancy was a necessary component for a spell that sifts through multiple universes to locate a suitable candidate. You see, I have a quest from the Titans, to find the woman who I call the eleventh goddess, Tanya was actually surprised that word was allowed to exist. -and she was one of many notorious warladies I investigated. Should she ask? Shes curious No. Focus. So can you tell me when she crosses the Alfs? Should be simple enough, Titans willing. Andrew said simply. He looked exactly like the depiction of Saint Andrew, one of the twelve apostles, back at the extra large and fancy church that the orphanage took trips to at Christmas and Easter. Its good to see that youre not taking Fates protections for granted. Tanya scoffed. If I did, Id have joined Ansom in the assault on Charlescomm, and then Id be croaked like everyone else who tried it. Im sure the Titans would have found a way, no matter how much Carnymancy was used. Andrew said humbly, But all the same, you probably wouldnt have liked their solution. Im offering you upkeep plus two hundred shmuckers a turn. Tanya said, lowballing him a bit. It wasnt an unreasonable sum for such a simple task, but she expected a bit of haggling. Ending when I raze this capital site, which I promise to do only after youre on the other side of the portal. I accept. He said peacefully instead. What? Well, she wasnt going to complain about getting services cheaply. She may have just underestimated just how low his standards were. Or he saw her esteem with the Great Minds, who referred him to her, as reason enough for a discount. No matter. After a moment of casting, Andrew said: Shes currently in the state of Denial. Playing around, presumably. Tanya blinked. Shes never heard of that. Its certainly not any of the nine or so sides that are vaguely positioned between Bone and the Alfs. Its a good sign. That was one contingency accounted for --------------------------- As she had noted previously, the difference between honorable warfare and dishonorable warfare didnt have a whole lot to do with giving the weaker party a fighting chance, quite the opposite. Instead, honorable tactics were ones that benefit the one using them, while dishonorable ones are the kind that harms the user or has no benefit, only harming the other sides strength. Thus, tactics that prevent the accumulation of experience points were considered unsporting, such as unled golem assaults, exclusively uncroaked assaults without the croakamancer accompanying them, mass troop movements without leadership in general wasnt exactly looked kindly upon really. However, the Empire had anti-air guns, so she gave zero boops about wasting their ammunition. She duplicated herself, and sent the duplicate out alone, using her own scout special to keep an eye on the enemy response. She gave the duplicate two caster levels of juice to play around with, and immediately on entering the hex she went to work casting foolamancy to spoil their initial ammunition expense. Their trigger discipline was respectable, and only one of the anti-air guns fired a burst at the single flying threat. It missed, of course. With that handled, the first experiment begun: Tanyas duplicate launched a fiery shockamancy attack at the cart with the intention of cooking off the ammunition. She knew it could work, because she tested it with one of their magazines that Sizemore had put a protective case around. Unfortunately, it was a test that Dirtamancer von Spear had also conducted, apparently. He immediately extinguished the fire from his underground position and restored the hits of the anti-air golem, while a second one of them fired on the duplicates now revealed position. The duplicates Barrier was no obstacle, the rotary cannon the golems wielded firing enough shots that it got hit by two without much issue. Okay, attempt two. A second duplicate split off, some small interference with her spell due to having previously split off this turn, but as the other duplicate no longer existed, it was small enough that she could power through it by spending some extra juice. This time, the duplicate didnt get shot at all in the initial entrance, Dirtamancer von Spear correctly assuming that foolamancy would waste the ammo. He still remained non-visible, Tanya kept her own rifle trained on the fortifications, watching for him to show his face so she could pop it off. Wait how is he watching the sky? In the long downtimes they have had, she did at one point ask Sizemore about what it was like to look at the world like a Dirtamancer. He shouldnt be able to He must have a scout spotting for him. With a quick delay order to her duplicate, the both of them tried to figure out which unit was a scout. [Brandon Burger, level 3 ranger] Combat: 8 Defense: 8 Hits: 10 Move: 21 Special: Knight, Ranger There! The unstacked, veiled one! He was good at hiding, hard to spot, but with some mathamancy and a crack of sound, von Spears eyes were blinded. The duplicate had an opening, although she had to work quickly. Diving downward with her position concealed via foolamancy, the pair of anti-air golems both fired at her image, and then the duplicate closed into melee, using shockamancy melee bonuses to enhance her damage. The duplicates lightsaber shined with light as she swung, a second shining light joining it as the duplicate duplicated the swing as well. Expensive, but the point would be to destroy the golem. [Flak 88 Golem] Combat: 38 Defense: 20 Hits: 48 Move: 12 Specials: Golem(Dirtamancy), Heavy, Engine, Railed, Hard Magical Bonus: Ballistician (rotary cannon) [Queen Tanya von Degurechaff, level 9 Chief Warlord] Combat: 49 Defense: 49 Hits: (11) 11 Move: 80 Specials: Duplicate, Royal, Leadership, Flight, Recon, Caster Magical Bonus: Barrier, Shockamancy, Leadership x2, Mile-High, Inventory A 29 point lead on her combat meant that she should expect to do about eight-ish damage per strike normally, as a knight class unit versus a Hard heavy of that size (well, her and her knights inflicted slightly more damage than a normal knight, but still). So by using her Siege attack spell to both ignore the damage reduction and double the damage, plus attacking twice in one attack, should absolutely destroy it and it did, utterly failing to hit with its melee attack that heavily resembled a salute, swinging its flattened arm out into a parade-quality straightness. It made it look halfway respectable as the duplicates attack tore it apart. Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. The other golem promptly destroyed her duplicate with a burst of bullets, though. How much more ammo do they have? Two hits on a 11 point deficit she spent a drop of juice on mathamancy. Ah. Twenty-five attacks that time. Plenty. Her own juice reserves were running low She should be able to manage to croak the other, and then shed be able to bring in her troops and start cleaning house. Excellent. Wait. The golem, in a burst of magic, started pulling itself together. Okay, how much juice did von Spear just spend on that? How much does he have left? Unclear. Mathamancy was rather iffy when it came to counting enemy juice, unfortunately. Her attempt pointed towards him burning a scroll at one point She cast the spell to duplicate herself again, but the duplicate immediately poofed away, bullet holes manifesting with the rest of her. Boop. Well, using herself as a disposable asset was a very useful endeavor it just wasnt something she could endlessly repeat. Theoretically, she could risk herself, relying on her Fate protection to ensure her foolamancy and veiling spot checks succeeded in keeping her alive, take out both golems, as he was unlikely to be able to repeat the feat of resurrecting the golem, and then invade or she could bring a stack and focus fire to destroy the anti-air, letting their high defense work for them But the idea of trusting that much to her Fate protection made her skin crawl. Ah, there was another scout keeping an eye out. She shot him right between the eyes from the next hex over. Yeah, she was done for this turn. Shell harass him again next turn. --------------------------- So, I try not to complain just because my enemies are competent. Tanya said as she moved her bishop. Casually, she moved her eyes and focused on specific pieces, while simultaneously plotting to use completely different pieces. Understandable. Isaac said as he quickly moved a pawn in response. Nice try, by the way. I almost believed you were going for your knight next. As it turned out, the Magic Kingdom had chess. The odd part was that all of the public boards were moderated by the foolamancer guild, the Ones Who Differ Rarely, or Owdr (pronounced odor) for short. The name stinks (pun intended), but playing chess apparently helped refine foolamancy senses, increasing your ability to sense what your opponent was paying attention to. But I really didnt expect to find a side using guns so effectively so quickly. Tanya complained, pulling out the looted pistol as a prop. She didnt notice the implications immediately, but they all looked like the iconic WWII German pistol, the Luger. Dirtamancer von Spears tactics are incredibly refined. Its almost the kind of tactic Id expect from someone like myself. She moved a pawn of her own. Its a common pitfall among warlords. Casters too, to be completely honest. Thinkamancers most of all. Isaac said as he immediately moved another piece. He wasnt even looking at the board, instead idly counting the ruffles on her dress. She assumed he had a mental copy of the board that he was doing all of his planning on. Sometimes your enemies are smarter than you make them out to be. A thought occurs. Tanya said as she moved her queen. Do you think Ivan discussed things with von Spear? Its possible. Isaac said, moving his own queen in response. Theyve spoken with each other in public spaces. Not about guns, of course, but thats not something one talks about openly. Checkmate in six. When speaking with the Headmaster, Tanya knew that he wouldnt have even brought up his evidence if he wasnt completely sure of his conclusion from supporting evidence that he was likely not supposed to have. ...Good game. Tanya said after playing out the next six moves in her head. Youre very good, for a beginner. Isaac complimented. Tanya nodded in acknowledgement of the compliment. She had never really played much chess before. Plenty of go, a moderate amount of shogi, but chess? Less than one hundred total games in her first life, none in this one. She stood up from the board. Well, shall we see if that golf course ideas done? Its not like she was getting any training by playing with him. Fortunately, it was a simple matter to get some clubs fabricated, as she could just make an illusion of what she needed and a dollamancer could handle the rest with some materials conjured by Sizemore. Well, mostly. Its still too heavy. Tanya commented, swinging the club. If I hit someone with this, theyd probably croak. Its a club. The dollamancer said, a handsome man named Ken who looked right at home in a country club golf course. One of the many useless benefits of the royal special: She knows that the neck-thing is called an ascot. Its a weapon. Everyone else was also dressed appropriately for the golf course, as Ken refused to help with the clubs until everyone was properly garbed for the occasion. Tanya found that wearing pants again felt a little strange, even if it objectively wasnt that long since she wore them back in Yojo Mojo, but Tanya shook her head. Its a sporting implement, a tool. Yes, you can kill someone with it, but its not supposed to be durable enough to be undamaged in the attempt. I could use this to golf fine, but if you casters and your noodly arms tried, youd be impeded by the weight. She handed it back. Make it about two-thirds as dense. With the dollamancer grumbling and starting once more to mold the golf club, Tanya picked up one of the test golf balls. Okay, this ones too light. Id use something like this to play ping-pong, if you smooth it over a bit. She went through the balls of various weights until finally finding one she liked. This one feels right. A golf ball should be about this heavy. She was sure to not rate it purely on her muscle strength, which was not only different now that she was a girl but it was enhanced by her levels and leadership. Instead, she used a thinkamancy-enhanced recollection of the implements and then used mathamancy to compare this to the memory, the magic translating the differences between her bodies with a juice-moderated equation. Once it was right, the dollamancy within the club would adjust it to the frame of the user. Hows the course? Old MacDonald asked, rubbing his hands with glee as he looked over the terrain. It looks good. Tanya said genuinely. Probably a two par, honestly. Its simple, but it would make a good introduction to the sport before we start adding difficulty. It had a basic curve and a single sandtrap a few meters to the left of the green, only becoming a problem if you were already way off. There was also a small pond a little to the right halfway through the course without being in the way, but that was actually there before the hippiemancer went to work with Sizemores help. It had some koi fish inside it. Okay, hows this? Ken asked, sounding annoyed but still smiling that plastic smile of his. Tanya gave the gold club a few experimental swings. Yes, this feels like a driver. Hefty, but with it all in the head. Good for distance shots. She cast some more foolamancy, showing him two more, a putter and a seven iron, as she didnt want to go into the full set even with thinkamancy-augmented recollection. These should be even lighter. The first ones for when youre on or near the green and need a light touch, and while a full golf set has eight to twelve different clubs, this ones a good mid-range model that should be a good compromise between the two extremes. Kens smile did not waver one bit. Ugh. This better be worth it, MacDonald. It was actually a little unsettling how rigid his expression is. What kind of signamancy was that? Placing the ball on the tee, Tanya decided to give it a test. Everyone back up, give me space for this. Once clear, she took a deep breath and, feeling the wind through her hair, brought up her golf club and gave it a swing, hitting the ball and sending it flying towards the green. She missed it, as while she thought she was a pretty good golf player, that was years ago. The ball rolled about ten meters short of the green, but she got it in the right direction, which she doubted any of these other novices could manage. Well, except Kurt hummed as Tanya passed him the club. Casting is cheating. Tanya said immediately. Spoilsport. Kurt said, before huffing in amusement. Okay, no juice. Let it never be said I dont enjoy a challenge. He lined up his own shot, and after about thirty seconds of adjusting his posture and practicing the motion, he swung his club, hit the ball, and sent it halfway between her ball and the hole. Tch. Wind shifted. He groused. Naturally, as they only had the one hole, there wasnt a whole lot to the game, they had to run the same one nine times in order to have something resembling a full game, discussing potential layouts of new holes the whole time. An enjoyable morning, even after that Carnymancer tried to ruin things by pretending to get injured by a stray ball. Best of all, they should be able to handle developing the rest without her input, now that they have a solid idea of how to play. --------------------------- Eventually, after extensive harassment, it finally came time for the Empires forces to attack. Tanya had thought about committing to an all-out preemptive defense, accepting losses from the anti-air guns in order to take them out but decided it would be easier to instead force them to crash against her fortified position after lulling them into a false sense of security, forcing von Spear to continually spend juice dealing with her harassment rather than doing anything problematic. Last minute preparations were simple: First, she duplicated herself and promoted it to Chief Warlord. Then, after checking with all of the Magic Kingdom contractors, she showed them all to the portal with her blessing, with the sole exception of Sizemore. His sole duty was to use his magic to reinforce and repair the walls or to organize the tunnel traps depending on the enemy approach, and to counter anything von Spear would be trying in the event that he joins the fight. Tanya was on the tower with her knights, firing positions set up with some spare munitions ready for any air based threat, or as snipers if the enemy managed to penetrate the walls. Her duplicate was standing in the courtyard, surrounded by Tartans but stacked with the Betties beneath her feet. Visha was the one in charge of the tank battalion, the six stacks of Mickeys ready to outflank their forces. Her best warlords were with her, each providing their large leadership bonuses to the critical heavy units. Elya was linked up with Maggie at the back of the courtyard, with the orders to just use their own discretion. The assumption was that there will be a few squads of units with rifles, and the plan was to turn them and have them waste all their munitions croaking their former allies, but with their collective juice and the casting bonuses from the link, just turning a few stacks of enemy units which promptly get Tanyas massive in-hex leadership bonus is bound to do some damage, a good backup plan. As expected, von Spear left the instant the tunnel into their tunnel zone was completed, getting on a minecart and zooming off. Similarly, the anti-air golems went with him, which was an interesting decision. With an empty airspace, it was a logical one, as they had fulfilled their obligations to limit Tanyas ability to attack them, but it was a shame that theyll be limiting one of their other plots. Even if the odds of that plot going as planned were a mere thirty percent. Indeed, Isaac fed her a vision of the traps they left in their rail tunnel about twenty hexes back going off, collapsing the whole thing and croaking some of their reinforcements, only to be put right by the retreating von Spear. The casualties inflicted werent nothing, but it didnt delay them much at all. She had hoped that he would have spent his juice before retreating, and thus be unable to fix it. The enemy forces were, after they reinforced and started to attack, about eight hundred dorfs supported by three thousand regular infantry, all to bring their core to the fore, thirty stacks of led knights, each with rifles. They were clearly veterans of the Lederhosen invasion, as the lowest level of the over two hundred knights were level five, and the warlords were levels eight to ten. They were led by a level ten Chief Warlord, name unknown beyond the fact that it was not the man that Tanya had thought had been the Empires Chief Warlord. In a straight fight it was pretty even actually. They had about the same amount of force when it came to firearm usage, and while they vastly outnumbered Stallin Glades defenders, the fortifications balanced that out a bit. At first, they started to dig into the tunnel system, using the dorfs as a vanguard force to bypass the walls. Once they got inside, Sizemore unleashed the cistern, drowning most of the dorfs and delaying any further intrusion as Sizemore set up additional water traps in case they decided to push through. A few dorfs survived to regroup, with only one additional casualty from a random fish that got the luckiest crit that Tanya had ever seen. From the exclamations of his fellows, the poor sod was named Urist. The dorfs seemed adamant to not go further, showcasing a fear of water that Tanya didnt know about before. Noted. With the tunnel option ruled out, the Empire started to instead start screening for the diggers as they attempted to go through the walls, ready to use their rifles against any ranged attacker that attempted to assault the dorfs. While Tanya allowed a few archers to get themselves croaked by those rifles, that wasnt the primary defense. That would be the shockamancy channels built into the wall. Each time the picks of the dorfs hit the wall, there was a chance that they hit the live wires, which That is truly horrifying. one of her warladies said, easily keeping track of what was going on through the magic of Recon, which did allow for some amount of seeing through solid objects. There were spot checks involved, but seeing the other side of the walls was easy. It was inevitable. Said another warlord. Its fine. Said the first, I heard that dorfs like saying that losing is fun. Really? Tanya asked, confused. I dont know myself. She replied, But thats what I heard. The dorfs are croaked and I am not bothered by this. Announced the warlord. Still, the Empire did not give up after losing all of their available diggers. Another minecart came loaded with some of those rocket launchers, and even with Sizemore reinforcing the wall in an attempt to let it outlast their armaments, they brought enough that they blew through anyway. It was at about this time that Isaacs voice penetrated the emergency message line they had set up: Warlady Nero had just crossed the Alfs. On the Empires turn. Which meant they were allied. Boop. Chapter 2.08 Well, the first thing that needed to be done was to either recharge Sizemores juice, or dismiss him through the portal. After an instant of thought, Tanya figured that the better move was to let him retreat. As he didnt turn, she couldnt order him directly but she could order units next to him just fine. Wait right, she had a duplicate in the courtyard. She appeared to be ordering him to do something, as she was close enough for him to hear her speak. Presumably this would conclude with his retreat, so Tanya trusted herself to handle that. Conserve munitions! Tanya ordered her knights, who were in protected firing positions around the tower. An air assault is still possible, aim carefully and pick off enemy rifleman with one magazine, then reload and wait for further orders. Tanya had already cast foolamancy on the tower, re-arranging the protected firing positions to make it difficult for the enemy rifleman to fire back. She now started with mathamancy-enhanced orders, assigning targets and compensating for the range penalties normally incurred by shooting across zones like this. Enemies poured into the breach in the wall, and the infantry and Tartans that were positioned in the courtyard readied to receive them. Now, it takes a pretty unbalanced level 5 city to not have extensive fortifications even in the courtyard zone, and in this case it manifested as fortified hardpoints at intersections with roads forming a triangular network that allowed for long firing lanes with little to no cover, each positioned with a stack of turned archers led by a warlord as well as a single stack of Tartans to delay attempts to stop the archers from firing. The buildings near the roads all had sturdy doors, not something that their lack of remaining dorfs and total lack of siege could fix, with whatever remained of their rockets being woefully insufficient to gain a significant advantage. At least, they didnt even try. Ideally, theyd have stationed gun emplacements in those areas, but Jack was far too busy fulfilling other orders all over the world to make them new guns, so they couldnt, nor could they spare the time popping additional ballisticians, so stacks of normal led archers with stores of extra arrows in case the enemy tried to exhaust them are what they had to work with. With the duplicates massive in-hex leadership bonus, that should be enough to do some significant damage to the screening infantry, if not necessarily the riflemen themselves. Tanya had considered promoting those archers to knight, but ran some mathamancy calculations and with the enemy riflemen and other defenses taken into account, roughly doubling the archers damage output by doing so didnt improve the defenses success chance by enough to be worth the expense. Now, theoretically the invaders could slowly advance with their riflemen taking out all resistance as they traveled in one group but that would take too much time. While low level cities basically just had one open-ish area you fought the enemy defenders in, higher level ones forced invaders to split up in order to cover enough ground to actually finish their invasion before turns end. After all, they only claimed a zone once all enemy units had been croaked or captured. With the rather substantial delays forced by the wall defenses, their Chief Warlord decided to maximize their speed, splitting up all thirty rifleman stacks and distributing the infantry between them to act as screens. This allowed, theoretically, for them to flank the fortified points, taking them much more effectively. Unfortunately, the hardpoints were also trapped. Once the Tartan defenders fell to the bullets, the fortified positions maximizing the ammunition expended to that end, and the infantry engaged the archery in melee, the warlord, knowing he was doomed, triggered the trap built into each fortified position and detonated the explosives, taking out what was left of the defenders as well as most of the units attacking them. Or Tanya detonated them remotely using ruler orders once that Warlord fell without performing his final duty. Either/or. Sizemore can make surprisingly tiny (about infant-sized) golems made out of talc that can be used as remote detonators, to those who are not wise to the strategy. She just thought it would go down better, morale-wise, to allow the warlords to croak themselves to spite the enemy instead of doing it herself. Eventually, they penetrated the network of hardpoints, the traps whittling away at their numbers and well-placed defenders using up their munitions, all the while suffering sniper shots from the tower. One last bastion was present at the entrance to the tower and dungeon zones, as it was actually possible to bypass the zone borders if they had more Siege to break through the barriers blocking them from entering the tower, even if they didnt actually control the courtyard zone yet and could just open them. Tanya didnt see any more rockets they could use to do that, but that didnt mean they didnt have some, or could get them sent via Hat Magic or something. Right in front of that last fortification was where Tanyas duplicate had concealed herself. The enemy Chief Warlord stopped his advance right before coming into view of this last position, and stood up to give an inspiring speech to his units. We are the Empire! He began, We fight to retake one of the crucial cities that has been stolen by the jealous barbarian queen! Our superiority will win the day! Both in technology, and in our innate moral fiber! The Yahtzee tribe popped to rule over all others! Of the Seven thousand, Seven hundred and seventy-six lesser tribes, we are the one above all others! The Seven-thousandth, seven hundred seventy SEVENTH tribe! He proudly displayed a flag that, now that Tanya understood the context, was clearly supposed to be four sevens arranged artfully in a spoke pattern. She initially thought it was just a manji, or a reversed swatsika. The cultivated mathamancer part of her brain also uselessly pointed out that 7,776 was also six to the fifth power, which probably had some numerological significance. Still, the instant they started to advance, resolve stiffening their posture thats when her duplicate struck, the stack of Betties bouncing out and scything through the rifle-wielding knights like a Dacian charge suddenly faced with landmines. Seeing the effectiveness of the units ambush special made Tanya vaguely regret stationing the other stack in the tunnels, but it was inevitable that any robust defense in depth plan would include unused contingencies. That said, the force only managed to croak three stacks, including the enemy Chief Warlord, before getting filled with enough bullets that they too were defeated. The depopping of her duplicate was unfortunate, as it made their forces lose their Chief Warlord bonus, but Tanya quickly created a second one, taking two tries to get past the casting penalty of re-making a destroyed duplicate, and promoted it in place before moving on to phase three of the defense plans. Phase one was dealing with the enemy diggers, that is the dorfs. Phase two was letting the enemy wear themselves down on the defenses that were, in the end, disposable. Phase three was going for the throat. Her heavy cavalry stacks, her knights mounted on the Mickeys, stopped their endless maneuvering to stay out of enemy lines of fire, and instead started charging at them from all directions, using their own rifles to tear up the invading forces while using their now vastly superior bonuses, personal Barriers, and the Mickeys defensive special to not only mostly avoid croaking to the enemy rifles, but get effectively additional shots of their own as the failed bullets bounced off the rubbery skin of the giant black mice back at the shooters. Yes, the rifles gave a +10 combat bonus, but while the base stats and leadership bonuses between the stacks were not very far off from each other, her stacks had an additional +4 stack bonus and a +10 chief warlord bonus verses their +3 out-of-hex bonus, assuming the Empire promoted a level eight or higher replacement quickly. In the original plan, this was also when Elya and Maggie would cast turnamancy to turn one or two stacks of the riflemen at a distance, who would then suicidally discharge their weapons into whatever units near them were still unturned. However, between the smashing success of the rest of the plan and the probable attack, keeping the two ladies ready for Boners popping up in the area seemed appropriately cautious. Whats so funny? Elya and Maggie asked at the same time, eyes watching the skies. Nothing relevant. Tanya said, deflecting. Are you ready for Lady Boner? She asked, amused. Were eager to receive. Elya confirmed, which sorely threatened Tanyas composure. Our G-Strings are secure, ready to move only when we see Boner. A pause. Again, why are you laughing? Tanya very much wasnt quite laughing. There was, however, a very laugh-like whistling sound coming from her lips at the constant double entendres. This world one day, people spoke frankly and eagerly about filthy topics, while the next they suddenly became utterly incapable of perceiving the double meanings they spout automatically. Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. That was about when the expected guest actually arrived. Startlingly, Tanya immediately understood how she had managed to catch them off-guard: Those units had nowhere near enough Move to make it form the Alfs to Stallin Glade in one turn. Therefore, she must have spent several turns sneaking them close, and only personally relayed herself closer once they were in position. How long were they planning this collaboration? Neros forces, as she had researched them extensively, were a strike force of highly mobile Jumping mounts, cricket-like knight-class mounts (similar to unipegataurs, in that they had a very human-like face and arms that could theoretically wield weapons) that were known as Jimmies. Supposedly, they rustled the Jimmies up as a feral unit that popped commonly near the city of Tusk Ant, by their date-a-mancer Pinot Chia. Tanya had actually met the man at the Glade of the Hippiemancers, his long nose and leaf-like piercing giving him a certain boyish charm that was promptly ruined by his wooden, puppet-like movements. The units riding those Jimmies, on the other hand, were very odd knights. They werent normal knights, but instead an advanced knight-class unit known as Dribblers, taken from the old nomadic Hurlem side, known for their slinger units and for trotting all over the globe. In appearance, they were lanky dark-skinned units, tall even for her old life but not inhumanly so, although in this world the height difference made them look like giants among Men. They werent heavy, though. They fought with a Throw special, pulling basketballs from their afros and then tossing them at their enemies. They jumped onto the near empty wall, ignoring the few units that remained on the wall by virtue of foolamancy, and went from there straight on top of the tower. Their musical special, not quite dance-fighting but still a force multiplier, sounded out as the Jimmies rustled their legs, creating the sound of strings. Neros fiddlers on the roof! Tanya shouted. Glancing down, her eyes widened. While the zone burns! Apparently, the warlords had some kind of incendiary explosive, as when it appeared that the enemy riflemen were to be routed, they started setting fires to provide some crowd control, which only worked because Tanya had instructed her knights to preserve their own lives. A few of the Mickeys had fallen from the bullets, but the knights just used flight to keep up with the living ones, slipping in and out of cover, including the still-living Mickeys, just as Tanya drilled them. As it turned out, when your commandos could both fly and see around corners with Recon without exposing themselves, they gained a decisive advantage in urban gunfights. Scouts innately understood the value of sightlines and ambushes with their popped knowledge, which an average knight would need additional training to master. So with that in mind, even with her duplicate poofing, she felt comfortable ignoring the courtyard issue and focusing on the tower battle instead. The fire can be handled later. She directed her new duplicate to stack up in the caster slot of one of the stacks on the tower and then to fly up to engage. Simultaneously, she ordered her own stack to fly up the other side of the tower half an action behind them. The introductory fiddling music by the Jimmies ended, and was replaced by the Dribblers whistling a jaunty, upbeat tune, snapping their fingers to provide a percussive accompaniment. They were in five-stacks plus a mounted warlord, which according to Analysis gave them a special stack bonus of +5, which made sense to her given their obvious basketball theming. Ufufu, you may have managed to beat the barbarous Empire, but I, a genius, can see the difference between you and I. Nero said boastfully. She was wearing a daring red dress that covered her shoulders and neck completely, while also leaving a bountifully large window to her breasts. Her skirt was long, but the front of it was sheer, showing off her fashionable riding greaves (as in, high-heeled) and otherwise providing oodles of fanservice by just barely not flashing her underthings with every motion. Just as it would be impossible for me to cast a spell, victory over me would be impossible for you. A genius can see these things without bias. As was her new normal, Tanya immediately pictured herself wearing any elegant dress she sees and flushed as red as the dress in question at the idea. How indecent! Maybe it wouldnt be so bad if the front was an opaque white, though Still, Boner had jumped her tower with forty of those five-stacks with her, and that meant she outnumbered her rifle-wielding knights, split into two forces as they were, two to one. Fortunately They didnt discharge the entire towers battery on those dorfs. So she didnt need to conserve juice. Friendship Rainbow Nova! Tanya shouted in Japanese, using as much juice as the spell would allow. Eh? Nero exclaimed as the power of shockamancy overloaded her senses, which was not something you usually saw from a tower. In fact, by going straight from the walls zone to the tower, she probably expected to bypass tower defensive spells altogether. Now! Tanya shouted at Elya and Maggie, who immediately cast a high-powered link-augmented turning spell on the enemy Chief Warlady. Neros eyes widened, and then dulled as a series of three runes appeared on Tanyas arm. The spell was successful, she had turned. The rest of her force, now both bereft of any Chief Warlord bonus and stunned, were gunned down relatively easily, with only a few barriers breaking as they fought back once the stun had worn off. They tried to avoid shooting the enemy foolamancer so he could be captured, but a stray bullet managed to croak him anyway. Quite the shame. With the usage of (a duplicate of) her emergency fire extinguisher scroll, the battle was fully won. With incredible casualties, mind you, and with so much damage to the city it had downgraded to a level four, but she didnt croak, nor did Visha, nor did, after Healomancy, any of her two hundred and three flying subordinates. On top of that, it would be easier to list the number of units that didnt level up than the ones who did, which was very happy news. Still, now there was a decision to make --------------------------- Okay, so Signamancy. Tanya said to the gathered casters once the turn started. There was a discount to fixing a city up a level over normal upgrades, if it was done within one turn. This meant that she wouldnt be losing any money to razing it later, so it was an easy decision to make. Combined with her using moneymancy and pretty much all available juice to cash in all of the non-gun equipment and bodies of the invaders, they had turned a bit of a profit even before the fact that they now had enough rifles to double their forces. Normally, Id call the job done by now, after taking so much war material from the Empire, and move on. But Janis said, encouraging her to elaborate. Tanya sighed. But the signamancy of the Yahtzee tribe really bothers me, on top of the whole proliferation of firearms issue. She projected the reverse swastika onto the table, thick black sevens in a white circle on a red background. Then she flipped it. This symbol It''s bad news. There was a sharp intake of breath as the table saw the non-distorted flag. She had initially assumed that Being X had deliberately put her in the crosshairs of the Nazis. She had admittedly started to doubt that once it was clear that World War I had yet to occur, but just because the war was delayed fifteen to twenty years, doesnt mean that it wouldnt end the same way, with a fractured Empire, ripe for a fascist takeover. With this well, shes already fulfilled every military history otakus fantasy and croaked some nazis, but it didnt feel right to leave them be. She felt somewhat responsible for the proliferation of guns, and while for most sides she only felt bad about it when it personally inconvenienced her with nazis it hit different. Its curious. Janis commented idly, staring intently at the symbol. How much hate a simple symbol can represent. For some reason, it was multiplied sevenfold when you flipped it. Its obscene. Sizemore said, genuinely disturbed at the swastika. I cant even look at it. Its no coincidence. Tanya asserted, Believing their tribe is above all others, thats baked into the symbol. Granted, its not like her own country was innocent of essentially the same crimes, despite Japans attempts to suppress that part of history. But anyone who values human life should rightly condemn slavery and genocide, and the Nazis were the most famous villains in history for exactly those two things. There were bigger slavery operations, of course, but liquidating valuable human resources for such petty reasons as ethnicity, religious affiliation, or even sexual identity was so atrociously evil that Tanya couldnt help but put them on the same platform of hate she gives the communists. Mostly because the communists were guilty of the same crimes, but for slightly more rational reasons (controlling the populace via fear), but brought back down by their stupid nonsense of an ethos that necessitated those brutal control mechanisms. They are fools. Nero Saber insisted. As it turned out, Lady Boner was her title, not her name. It was interesting how such a mistake could be perpetuated like that. They have reached beyond their intellect, and will be crushed by my Master and Is genius! She then laughed like an ojou-sama. The question is, Isaac said, bringing everyone back on topic, -can you afford to stay long enough to wipe them out? The plan as it were, was to fly outside of Charlies sphere of influence and spend a few hundred turns getting more levels, more guns, and more stacks of high level knights. Once accomplished, the Great Minds will concoct a super-spell that will allow an entire army to traverse a great enough distance that Charlie could be caught off-guard. It wasnt a particularly good plan, and it was actually plan B, but Tanya thought it was more functional than plan A, for Arkenshoes. The idea was that the Arkenshoes infinite move will somehow serve to be overpowered enough to, when combined with the relevant Predictions, allow for victory over the other three Arkentools. Charlies already made his move. Tanya pointed out. The Empire and Bones collaboration was orchestrated by him. Indeed! Nero said bombastically, My old master talked with Charlie extensively, making sure we could strike at the best time, after you had exhausted your defenses! She laughed again. But my Master knew better! Shes outwitted his foolish attempts to defeat her, and come out stronger in the bargain! Now is the crisis point. Kurt observed, The trigger event is over, and now he has a decision: Double down and sink more resources into this attempt, increase the breadth of his aid? Kurt chuckled, his inoffensive office worker laugh once more compelling Tanya to check that his hands were empty of weapons. Or does he move on to a second generation, reach out to a different side and set up a trigger there for when you pass them? Tanya hummed. I think hell step back. She judged, Because him doing a lend-lease program with the Empire instead of sending a strike force of archons is what I would want him to do, so I dont think hell do it. Yeah, hes not sending archons. Andrew asserted, Ive been casting, and theres no large grouping of archons that I can Find, the largest group is only thirty strong, and theyre pretty far from here. Findmancy was quite useful. Its agreed, then. Tanya announced, Ill spend the next tenturn or three trying to gain more levels for me and my knights and warlords from fighting the Empire, until they are eliminated from Erf. Well, and shes very interested in learning what method they used to be several sides in one. That sounded like it has potential as an actual win condition. Chapter 2.09 One drawback of resolving to destroy the Yahtzees was that it triggered the end of their contract with Albinny, the England equivalent in this funhouse-mirror version of World War II. Or rather, what triggered the end was her considering the damage dealt being sufficient that she could fly away without guilt, theoretically. The payment of fifty thousand-ish shmuckers and five caster levels of lookamancy each turn would continue for three more turns as the evacuation carve-out, but otherwise that was it. Still, there was plenty to do this turn. First, Sizemore was given enough juice to replenish the ammunition stores, drawing from all available sources, and with a fully replenished battery, linked up with Maggie and Elya to create Schnitzelands own supply of railcart golems, albeit with Transport instead of carrying a dedicated anti-air gun, as they didnt have any of those. What they did have, on the other hand, was a lot of extra rifles. They didnt have enough troops leftover to use all of them, but that could be fixed. With the massive move of the 203-knight battalion plus Visha, they could hit another Empire city, their only coastal city on this side of the Continental Break by the name of Normal. Under ordinary circumstances, it would be a very well-defended city, due to the citys very rare defensive unit, Heavy units that were a combination of squirrel and tanuki called Deez. They had the ability to bury giant explosive acorns in the ground, creating trap fields that made attacking the place by land extremely difficult, allowing them to focus better on defending it by sea and air. Battling Normals Deez is a hard requirement for any real invasion of the Empire from the sea, as they imported the slow heavy to other coastal cities of theirs. If you couldnt handle Deez Nuts? You were screwed. Fortunately, as confirmed by Lookamancy, the defenses had been stripped down a bit to supplement the attack on Schnitzelands capital, so while it still had significant air defenses it wasnt that much. This will be the d-day that we move from merely b-biting our thumbs at the Empire to attacking them in earnest. Tanya said, shivering from the cold of the mountain hexs sky. Lets go! One small Achilles Heel of their minefield-based defenses was that scout units had a chance to spot traps before triggering them, and if they happened to be led by scouting warlords, that leadership bonus applied to those spot checks, as did the stack bonus. Further, a flaw in using natural magic of a unit to make traps instead of a proper dirtamancer was that they were on the easy side to spot, as they couldnt really learn to hide them better, systematically. Now, this didnt mean you could just invade with exclusively led scouts and expect that to work. No, they could still use their archery garrison units to attack those invaders, drastically decreasing the effectiveness of such attempts. So if you had led scouts that were also archers, that could croak those garrison units without needing to slowly advance in a minefield. If you did have that, then there was the fact that there was a force of heavies that usually had a rather substantial advantage in melee over even knight-class archers, and they did have enough fortifications to force a melee fight after you got past the minefield. Make those knight archers able to easily croak heavies at range? Well, thats when the fact that Normals defensive bonuses from land-based invaders were slashed to the bone in order to provide additional sea and air-based defenses, relying on Deez Nuts to choke anyone who sought to gobble the city up. They walked to the gate, destroyed the barely-there walls with two well-placed sonic-augmented melee attacks from her lightsaber, and didnt leave the ground for the entire attack and thus became vulnerable to the tower. They didnt take a single casualty. Do you think you can handle them all? Tanya asked Elya when she arrived the next turn, astride one of the transport golems that traveled along the underground rail that Sizemore dug between the two cities. Elya puffed out her chest with pride. I''m always ready for seamen. She boasted, referring to the literal hundreds of Seafaring troops that they automagically captured with the city, floating on the ships moored there. Whether one at a time or all at once, I''ll service each and every sailor in the harbor. Well, remember to pace yourself. Tanya said, wondering whether or not that double entendre was on purpose. If you need more juice, I''m here. Today''s going to be hot and sweaty, so I''ll be sure to hydrate, don''t worry. Elya said, charitably referring to Normals beach biome. Tanya idly took out a handkerchief to wick away some sweat. Fortunately her magical girl armor was reasonably breezy, mostly suitable for warm weather. Only the armored cuirass posed any problems, and honestly she suspected that nothing short of a bikini or something with similar levels of exposure could prevent that heat buildup. It was not a problem she had anticipated having, ever, but a quick touch of her cleaning wand and the uncomfortably itchy sweat vanished. There. Much more dignified than asking the Magic Kingdom for a rush order swimsuit. It took half of the turn and more juice than Elya normally possessed, but all of the non-garrison defenders were successfully turned. Last of all was the level 8 Seafaring warlord. I''m Commander Shepard and this is my favorite Queen in the Citadel. Shepard announced, using an archaic word for fortress-city that was probably said for signamancy reasons. It was a bit damning with faint praise, though. Well met, Commander. She greeted, just do your duty and don''t go Renegade, and well get along just fine. She wasn''t sure why she felt the need to specify that, but it was good to have someone who knew the sailing mechanics on hand. I''ll be a Paragon of loyalty. Shepard replied confidently. Good. Tanya said, not sure what else to say. Shepard. She said, nodding before walking away. Degurechaff. He replied, moving on to, presumably, park his keister on the largest ship in the harbor and lend his bonus to the units aboard. She had more diplomacy to do. --------------------------- The diplomatic situation was fairly precarious. First, the Empire had declared a state of Total War between them, which didnt really do much on its own, but it meant that theyd entertain diplomatic overtures from everyone else in the interests of being able to focus on Schnitzeland. If she was planning on keeping the place, shed be worried. Given the number of sides that are just limping along, only spared destruction due to the fact that the Empire hasnt gone through all possible efforts to consume them, this meant that there would be at least a few willing to appease them so they can gather strength. Particularly as their target was, quote: rampaging barbarian hordes rather than any previously established polity. Still, with so many guns and veteran riflemen out of the picture, she has a bit of breathing room herself. Well, predictamancy gives her at least another turn. Second, their one nominal ally was still unwilling to declare a formal alliance, for the same reasons they were willing to spend a massive amount of shmuckers to send a deniable asset. Third, they finally knew that Charlie was behind the Empires firearms. Not directly, but once they were developed, Commander Shepard explained that all of the high level warlords were put into a QEC, or Quality Educational Conference, over a thinkagram. The one giving the lessons introduced themselves as The Illusive Man, but after Maggie extracted the image from Shepards head, Tanya was fairly certain it was Charlie. The man just looked Charlie-adjacent, she couldnt quite explain it. The lessons were about how to effectively use the guns, and it was only after the conference that the casters started developing the turret golems, and autocannons, and the rail system. The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. The question was, did he do such a thing specifically to impede her, or did he have other motives? On further inquiry, Commander Shepard explained that the Empires treasury was, last turn, two million shmuckers and change. He didnt really pay much attention to the treasury from turn to turn, so he couldnt say for sure that there was a large payment made for Charlies expertise, but he was sure that if there was, it wasnt all in one lump sum or was mostly mined gems that never touched the treasury, and the Empire did have over four million after the latest surge of income from razing multiple high level cities of the Lederhosen Entente. Even having used subterfuge to hide money from the sides ruler, Tanya had never really thought through the implications on how every single commander knew the treasury amount, and that was information that could be extracted by interrogation. In hindsight, it was kind of obvious. Furthermore Maggie, boost the Commanders memory. She commanded. Maggie placed her fingers on the commanders temples. Embrace Eternity. She said, eyes turning black before glowing with magic. She then repeated the procedure with Tanya, who then cast moneymancy in an attempt to get to the bottom of things. Woah, that was unexpectedly blue she identified a series of payments that could be directed towards Charlie, but it was unclear. If they all were, he had been paid about half a million. Which was probably enough for what Commander Shepard had described, a cipher, as it were, to using firearms effectively. Charlie wasnt necessarily being a giant creeper, trying to get her croaked in a deniable fashion. That meant it was just a bonus. Lovely. --------------------------- They managed to, over the next five turns, take one more city each turn, although they only kept two, razing the other three. As they went, they took a few casualties, but kept popping more knights to replenish and expand their forces. Apparently, there was a mercantile side across the sea by the name of Generica who hewed to the axiom that everything was for sale. They were a side that had complete dominion of a large landmass, thus requiring all of their enemies to contest them over the sea first. They were apparently good friends with Albinny, and were willing to ship hundreds of infantry units and turn them for money, allowing Tanya to keep popping more knights while still garrisonning her cities properly. Albinny sent infantry of their own along with the generic units, the rail system that Sizemore made plus the turnamancy-enhanced golems to speedily transport units along them allowing each city to get a portion of them. Much like the Empire, they needed to deploy stacks of diggers to maintain the tunnels, but the speed revealed by the enemys train-golems made it all worthwhile. She did figure out how theyve been powering their industry, however: Every single one of their towers were tuned to produce juice with a tiny capacity, instead of holding large quantities of juice like the ones she favored. They must have a method of extracting that juice and using it themselves, each city level providing a caster levels worth of juice without any cost but opportunity and whatever inefficiency the transfer possesses. Naturally, she took full advantage of this trick herself, given that she could do so losslessly with her artifact wand. The capital was still kept with the large quantity, and was adjusted to have more anti-air after the initial invasion as well, to maximize defense. More golems, more production, more ammunition. Nero was given Ansoms old carpet so she could lead the fresh stacks of knights with rifles against her old side, with Elya and Maggies assurances that she wouldnt betray them. It only took two cities razed in order for Overlord Gold to issue a challenge for a duel. The duel was held at Challenger Peak, a specific mountain hex in the Alfs that is just high enough to be inconvenient to bring armies to while being low enough for weather effects to not damage the duelists. She wasnt an idiot, of course, so she kept her knights within one turns move for the duel, and hired Janis to mediate any disagreements. She arrived at the duel under her own power, of course, and Ansoms carpet brought both Nero and Janis to the hex. The enemy side arrived with what was blatantly a Whirlybird emblazoned with the signamancy of Generica, somehow managing to maintain the advertisement despite being turned. As she expected, Mark Gold looked exactly like the famous Roman emperor, Marcus Aerelius. Well, to be more precise his pale skin and white hair made him look a bit like a walking marble statue of Marcus Aerelius. His two witnesses, on the other hand, were the two units that Nero had explained was probably the ones he was going to send: Neros sister, Art Saber, and their Dollamancer, White M. Hiyah Wait She recognized Fayes signamancy. That was the waifued King Arthur from that anime! Was Nero from that anime too? Cute girl named after Roman Emperor would make sense. What did the male lead look like in that anime? She wanted to say red hair, but that may just be because White had red hair. Huh, its not very often that she actually recognizes someones signamancy like this. Oh, Overlord Gold is finishing up his pompous speech. -so, this shall be decided in a duel! As is proper, I present a proxy: Art Saber! Tanya frowned. So youre not even going to participate? Distasteful. I suppose Ill offer a proxy of my own, to keep things fair: Nero? Go. The curious marks on Tanyas wrist that appeared when Nero turned pulsed, vanishing as she issued the order. Yes, Master! Nero said eagerly, brandishing her impractically elaborate sword as she entered the circular arena. Hm, what was the matchup here? [Nero Saber, Lady Boner, level 11 Warlady] Attack: 30 Defense: 30 Hits: 19 Move: 11 Specials: Knight, Leadership [Art Saber, Lady Face, level 10 Chief Warlady] Attack: 31 Defense: 31 Hits: 18 Move: 11 Specials: Knight, Leadership Hm, Nero was higher level, but her sister had an in-hex chief warlord bonus as well as a +5 bonus on her equipment instead of Neros +4. The dollamancer must have upgraded them recently. Easy fix. Tanya mentally promoted Nero to Chief Warlady. [Nero] Attack: 33 Defense: 33 Much better. She used a touch of foolamancy to send a message: If you win, youll keep that promotion. Before the fight began, Janis cast a spell: I want a clean fight, you two. No outside interference, no hair pulling. With the very strange incantation finished, she continued: The stakes are set: An enforced treaty that favors the winner, but not to the extent of leaving either side helpless against invasion. She clapped her hands. Begin! To most people, actually seeing the Numbers behind a combat action was difficult, but for a mathamancer, it was simplicity itself. The fight began with the two near-identical ladies clashing blades, which her magic senses saw as both of them rolling higher on defense than the other did on offense. The next exchange favored Art, as a tiny cut was scored on Neros face, inflicting a single hit of damage. Minimum damage roll. Tanya thought it was a bit interesting how the duel, which should by a logical implementation of the combat system be over quite quickly, continually rolled just badly enough to make the exchanges dramatic, with near-misses aplenty along with terrible damage rolls. This high drama stank of Fate, to her. As if rewarding Tanya for her joke, Nero critted on the next exchange, her tattered dress now showing off her battle damage. Yes. That. Art fell to the ground, incapacitated. Oh? She didnt croak? Well Tanya brought out her healomancy wand and waved it in the direction of the fallen warlady. Grouts. She wasnt quite clear why the Stabilization wand had that as a magic word, but just chalked it up to no longer having access to internet search engines and put it out of her mind. Fufufufu! I am victorious! Nero announced, waving around her impractical sword in celebration. Smirking, Tanya walked up to Mark Gold. Ive stabilized your chief warlady, shell recover on turns start. Now, about that treaty? She held out her hand for the pale man to shake, and despite the furious look on his face, he gripped her hand with all of his strength as the pact was sealed. Shell stop destroying his cities, and theyll pay her tribute for that service. Hey, why didnt you bring any of those special accessories? White asked, disappointed. It would be improper for me to rely on a florists assurance of peace while bringing a gun. Tanya explained, That said, in full disclosure I did forget to remove the ones I kept in my dress, She withdrew one of the Empires pistols from her cleavage before putting it back. -but I didnt promise not to do so, so Ill just have to forgive myself for my mistake. Can I see it? He asked. No. Tanya replied bluntly. Stick to swords, it suits you more. While she didnt remember much of anything about that series, she did recall that the male lead had something about being a walking sword or some similar nonsense going on. She was aware of it, but had never watched or read it. Aww He whined, before trudging off and picking up the incapacitated Art. Now that thats settled, they need to return. Shes not staying exposed for a sneak attack. --------------------------- The more cities they had, the harder it was to keep up predictamancy awareness on each of them. Particularly because they couldnt just predict an attack on the whole side, because there were enough field units that it was impractical to do so. Presumably, if they had an actual predictamancer managing things, they could refine their predictions to be more useful, but Tanya was leery of them after Marie engineered Wandas betrayal. So they were stuck with her wand. So she wasnt surprised at all when, fifteen turns of buildup after the duel, the city of Bulge was attacked on the Empires turn without her knowing about it in advance; there wasnt anything she valued in that city anyway. She was a bit surprised about the other two cities that fell, Luckyburg and Antwarp. There still wasnt anything that Tanya intended to keep in those cities, but losing the high level warlord that they turned and kept in Antwarp was a bit of a loss, as were the rifles that were kept there. Still, it just meant that the Empire was getting serious about their offensive, and she needed to put all available assets in her counterattack. Twenty-four reinforced stacks of her flying knights instead of twelve, with nobles promoted to Warlord from the original set leading them. On top of that, a full reinforced stack of Mickeys, eighteen strong, were loaded up with diggers that were promoted to knight as an alternative to a siege tower. Normally, such a feat was considered foolish, but as she led them personally along with Chief Warlady Nero, their numbers were so high that they could wail on a city wall with impunity, even in the face of bullets due to the protective qualities of the Mickeys special. Granted, the equipment bonus that guns gave meant that they didnt need a lot of extra bonuses to overcome her own doubled bonus, but the duplicated scroll special ordered from the Great Minds meant that they could not possibly see their siege coming. Choo choo! Tanya announced, casting the weirdomancy/turnamancy monstrosity. One by one, the Mickeys rubbery mouse paws turned into rail wheels as each one dutifully started anchoring themselves to the minecart rail. All aboard! She announced at the head of the line of mice-tank-trains. Once the digger-knights all boarded their mount, the mice started making noises that reminded Tanya of old cartoon steamboat whistles as they chugged along. Grinning, Tanya laughed as they gained more speed, accelerating to a pace that even her own flight, normally as fast a unit can get as possible, could not match. There was only one thing that could adequately portray how utterly Boned the Yahtzees were, which was convenient as it was also the signal for her other units to move in. Tanya shouts: "TRAIN TO ZONE! Chapter 2.10 Weirdomancy was, as Jack explained when she sought to learn the basics, incredibly complicated. To use a coding metaphor, appropriate for a world that ran much like a computer game, Erf axis magic dealt with the overarching processes of the environment, Fate magic dealt with the character/status facets, the things that interact and move with the world while the Numbers axis dealt with the underlying processes, the metaphorical ones and zeroes in the code. In weirdomancys case, each unit could be described as a series of properties, and each of those properties had a value, and the sum total of those values made up a persons them-ness. This included not only specials such as flight or scout, but also less distinct specials such as stabber, etiquette, or even thinking, with specials such as empathy being something that could be turned off. Jack specified that messing with peoples minds was mostly theoretical, with only Master-class weirdomancers being able to even contemplate the effects of such a thing, and the spells were sufficiently expensive and difficult that there wasnt any real practical use for it, but unlike her other teachers, Jack didnt see anything wrong with giving her a peek at the deepest insights hes had into his discipline. Riley apparently was his research friend, and he demonstrated his work by flipping some switches and completely changing her personality, turning a sweet, happy girl who nevertheless liked to push the envelope of her otherwise limited discipline into someone that would fit right in a horror movie, calling herself Bonesaw, eagerly outlining of the atrocities she wished to inflict on people to stretch the boundaries of Healomancy. Naturally, Tanya had spoken to the girl afterwards to ensure she understood what was happening and confirmed that she was just as fascinated in the experiment as Jack was. It was a short exchange, however: Riley had been very disappointed that Tanya had grown actual breasts, and had disinvited her to the meetings, which she never got around to actually attending in the first place. She never did learn what L.O.L.I. stood for Nevertheless, Riley was polite but kept chit-chat to a minimum. Which suited Tanya just fine. The problem with going into so much detail is that it distracts from actually learning the basics of how the spells were cast. So she couldnt really call herself a novice wierdomancer yet. However, it was startlingly helpful in one facet: when using high-end weirdomancy scrolls. Understanding the theory on how they worked made her a lot more comfortable tweaking them within the normal bounds of their function, which was normally rather hit-or-miss when you were using cross-class scrolls. In this case, she extended the add Engine/Railed effect from the linked up scroll (which required a link-up because inventing specials required one) so she could cast it on the Mickeys one at a time, as they stepped into line on the railtrack. This was good, because the Railed special limited them, making them unable to travel off of minecart tracks. So she would have needed more rails in order to cast it on them all at once. It was a small benefit, but she had to take what she could get. More relevantly to her current situation, she could pull off the most basic of basic weirdomancy tricks, one that was supposedly as easy as Hoboken which was literally as simple as drawing out juice in an unrefined state and throwing it at someone. There was just something of a trick to it. All language was signamancy. Without signamancy, there would only be direct idea-to-idea communication, which would be indistinguishable from the entire world being a giant brain, thinking thoughts but with no language to express it. The magic words of a spell are no exception to this: the act of casting the spell impelled the caster to use the words, and likewise saying the words impelled the caster to cast the spell. As Tanya has already learned, signamancy is a two-way street. The basic weirdomancy spell was called Halt Effort. The spell did something very simple: It stopped an active spell that you cast. The trick, which weirdomancers liked keeping a secret, was that you needed to pronounce it in a very peculiar way. The first and last letters of the spell had to be ignored, with emphasis on the final syllable, so Okay, end of the line. Tanya announced, Now to get you boys back on solid ground. Alt efFor, alt efFor, alt efFor,alt efFor... The giant rubbery mice proceeded to transform back, one at a time, from being tracked platforms back to using their normal paws, thick noodly arms with white gloves covering the forepaws and red shoes for the back. On their backs, the armored shovel knights waved their tools, eager to begin. Time for the harvest, your Majesty? Asked the biggest one, who was holding his yellow helmet under his arm. [Jim Rowe, level 5 warlord] Attack: 42 Defense: 42 Hits: 13 Move: 18 Specials: Knight, Leadership, Digger She didnt have a digging warlord before, of course. He was one of the diggers that were sent by Albinny, specifically from one of their colonies, Hortons. Governor Tim had apparently decided to send experienced diggers because well, the thing about digger units is that the common wisdom is that the increased upkeep from leveling them is considered to be not worth the tiny increases of points they get. Well, levels beyond 3 anyway. If you were planning on promoting a bunch of knights because you had a lot of money but not a lot of production, on the other hand? 8 stacks of exclusively level 4 and 5 diggers were perfect. The knight special meant that they could ride the reinforced 16-stack of Mickeys, four to a mouse, and benefit from the full +8 bonus, and it was a rare setup that allowed Tanya to provide her full bonus of +9 doubled on top of her in-hex bonus of +5 doubled, as she decided to duplicate herself and promote the duplicate to ruler so she could get experience from this engagement. Tanya had taken the highest level Mickey apart before stacking them up and bound herself to it with Date-a-mancy, allowing her to slot herself in the caster slot without compromising bonuses, and Jim added another using the warlord slot of the stack. Why did she pick him? Well, it was mostly because he was the most visually distinct of the lot. His size, for one, matched the prodigious height of Ossomer. His freckles and inexplicably asiatic features only accentuated this, and she was vindicated when he gained his own heraldry, his symbol benign that of a proud chicken that somehow Signed menace rather than cowardice. It screamed Beware. All told, a good decision. Tanyas lips quirked. The harvest, huh? She asked, Yes, I suppose well be doing some reaping soon enough. She took her own shovel, which was a wand for digging, and said: First, we till the field, to boost our yield She said, using the wand to open up a ramp of earth from the underground to the surface. A taiko drum started counting a beat. Wait no, that wasnt a taiko. Tanggu? Yes, Jims eyes looked more like Han Chinese than anything else in her mind. As a former Japanese, such subtleties were apparent to her. Tanya started feeding juice into the spontaneous rhyme-o-mancy, guiding it into the optimal configuration for their needs: accelerating their attacks. The next hex was a light forest hex, but eighteen heavy units carrying sixty-four digger knights practically ignored them, trampling nature as they went. Chop down the trees, to feel the breeze She added, smirking to herself. A pipas strings created a rhythm, a repeating set of notes. Even without an actual rhyme, there was a sense of presentation to these words, some signamantic weight that she could use. One of the reasons they decided to attack from this angle was that Bulge had marsh hexes on this side, which is a hazard for movement but the Mickeys had enough Move left to get through anyway. She used the digging wand paired with the furniture wand to create a straight path for them, so as to not risk any of the stack fumbling a check and getting stuck. Divert the waters, to fill our coffers She said after she did so, grin threatening to take her head off. A xiao flute added a melody, completing the triumphant song. Finally, they were at the wall. AND BREAK THE ROCKS, TO MAX OUR STOCKS! Both her and Jim shouted as one for a warcry. The rhyme-o-mancys energy discharged through her, allowing the entire stacks attacks to be channeled through Jims singular strike, because Stagemancy was dramatic like that. It wasnt just a visual benefit, however: Rhyme-o-mancys greatest benefit was to manipulate time, and in this case, it meant they got to fit multiple rounds of attacks into that singular strike. As she wasnt exactly the greatest rhyme-o-mancer without a link augmenting her casting rolls, it was only two rounds, no better than if she had spent the same amount of juice on dittomancy, but it was safe to say that the Empire did not expect her to attack the walls so effectively. Also, she had about the same amount of skill with dittomancy. Now, the difference between a digger knight and an ordinary digger is that they were approximately twice as good in every way: it took about twice as much effort to croak them, between the less-than-double hits and the extra points of defense making up the difference, and they went through a wall about twice as fast, between the less-than-double increased base damage and the extra combat rating making up the difference. The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings. Well, they also had about half again as much move, which means in a more protracted siege encounter they were closer to being worth three diggers each, but the upkeep of an ordinary digger was eight shmuckers, while a knight has fifty. With this data point alone, one can see why conventional wisdom favors the infantry. But her double-stack of heavy 4s (as weirdomancers prefer to call heavies of the Mickeys size) could carry as many diggers on their backs as a max size siege tower with a much greater speed. So their sneak attack was not only like bringing two of those powerful siege towers out of nowhere, but with the rhyme-o-mancy doubling that again, and her massive leadership bonus applying to each and every one of those attacks? Every unit on that section of the walls croaked instantly as Jims shovel shattered the wall they stood on. She didnt even need to use shockamancy to throw in her own siege attack. Best of all? By destroying the wall so quickly, they didnt have a chance to reinforce the section by drawing troops from the other sections of wall, the advantage of overkill. Jim nodded to himself while grinning at his new level. Well, its a dirty job, but someones gotta do it. He said sagely. While they had the element of surprise, they couldnt take advantage of it to any real extent, as Tanya didnt bring rifles for the digger knights. It did allow them to bypass the first chokepoint, but that was of little benefit given her stacks composition and total lack of infantry for the attack. Quickly, the most dangerous part of the garrison made themselves known: The Empires own knight forces, with a distinctive livery of two parallel vertical lighting bolts: They were the Stormtroopers, knights patterned off of the ruler, sharing Emperor Helmets distinctive headgear, a samurai helmet. The Emperor had a black one, but the Stormtroopers had white. There were eleven stacks of riflemen, eighty-eight total rifles pointed at them. Tanya found it a bit unusual for them to be unled, but chalked it up to their successful seizure of the initiative. She lightly tuned in to their heartstrings, and found that they were at least being directed by a warlord in the tower there. Unfortunately, even with their average level of seven, no doubt fed by hundreds of croaks from those rifles, they still only had a combat rating of 28. With her leadership bonus along with the enhanced stack bonus, the Mickeys were packing 46 defense on average. Rear up! Tanya ordered, and the heavy mice obeyed. The layered orders to the knights ensured that they stowed their weapons and focused on staying on the backs of their mounts instead of fighting. The riflemen all fired their weapons on full auto, seeing only one stack of enemies, and immediately croaked from the ricochets caused by the gummi block special. A few of their shots hit, a trickle of mathamancy counted out twenty-nine hits, which was approximately half again as many as should have hit given they unloaded their whole magazine in one go, but they were spread out enough that no one Mickey took more than four, so the heavy units werent croaked (as Heavy fours had half again as many hits as the more standard heavy three category, once the pseudo-Hard was taken into account it took eight to ten hits from bullets to croak them) as with enough bonuses piled on, even guns werent enough to win. Well, ordinary guns. Tanya suspected that the Empire will eventually start deploying more of the RPGs or develop AP rounds that would deal full damage to Hard targets, but for now her strategy of deploying the unit based off of the Mauser tank with heavy support bonuses will counter the rifle. For now. --------------------------- With the bulk of the enemy rifles handled, the rest of her combat force followed, her knights moving in on foot to clear out the rest of the defenders with their own rifles. In short order, the Battle of the Bulge was concluded, and with it another large portion of the Empires valuable human resources depleted. She couldnt, of course, repeat this feat in the same turn, as while co-opting the rail network and expanding it on her own allowed her to move the Mickeys long distances, they still needed to travel a portion of the distance overground, and 1 move expended every 10 hexes, while a good ratio, was not zero. She could, however, repeat the trick to retreat her forces to a much more fortified city, the Mickeys to Aachoo, the level 4 city they captured first besides the capital, and the Recon knights back to the capital, razing Bulge so as to not have to risk herself defending it. Prisoners were allocated to level one and two recon knights for execution, and the rifles were looted and distributed to the defenders of Stallin Glade. This war is turning against us. Tanya groused as she slipped into the bath that Visha was thoughtful enough to prepare for her when she was busy communicating with Queen Virginia via hat. As part of the WWII cartoon theming that Janis and Sizemore imposed on the city to result in the peculiar units it pops (and boy was that a surprising capability, the ability to custom-build your unit list to counter your enemies), the upper portions of the tower were externally dark and foreboding, but once you were actually inside it was instead the kind of luxurious decadence one would expect from communist leadership. Yes, she could just clean herself magically with the wand she possesses for that purpose but as a Japanese person, she missed the feeling of a good soak. It was a good turn to celebrate with some idle luxury. What do you mean? Visha asked as she ran her fingers through Tanyas hair to spread out the soap. While Tanya initially had some reservations about her level ups making her hair grow out to such an impractical extent, between the magical methods of cleaning it and the ample supply of servants to tend to any idle whim of hers, she had discovered that her concerns were unfounded. It was just another part of being a woman, and she had already grown comfortable with that idea. Really, her chest floating in the water was by far the more novel concept in this bath. The Empire has many more cities than us, and more casters. Tanya explained. Yes, she basically counted as three casters with all of her juice and her wands ability to act as a power channel, but they still had more. Besides our capital and maybe two of our cities, theyre all lightly fortified. They were able to muster forces that could capture three of our cities this turn, but we could only take one of them back, and we had to raze it. They couldnt keep it, not without her personally defending it. That would be far too risky. Im going to have to take more risks, I think. Could she have taken Bulge with just the diggers and Mickeys? She spent one of her few remaining drops of juice on the question. Yes, she could have. 65% without losses, too. They hadnt fortified the city to any real extent beyond topping off the rifles ammunition, they expected that to be enough. Wait ah, 24% chance of being able to secure the city with enough time to leave. No, she made the right decision bringing in some backup to hunt down the stragglers. But could she have done it with just one or two stacks of knights for that instead of all of them? 76% and 93% chance. Yes, well split our forces on retaking the other two cities. Were ready to fight the Empire on our own. Visha said proudly. It was probably true, even. The simp is right. Nero boasted, waltzing in the room stark naked and joining Tanya in the bath. There was plenty of room, true, but she had absolutely no shame While duplicating yourself is a worthy advantage, it would be a waste to not take advantage of your three high level warladies to each assault a different position each turn. Hm. She was right. So you do not object to having the position of Chief Warlord passed to Visha temporarily? Tanya asked. If my Master says that it is the best course, then it would be folly to disagree! Nero declared, bombastically gesturing with no regard as to the anatomical effects of such a motion. Its genius, and I would be a fool to not see its utility. Hm. What the boop did Elya do to her to make her so loyal? Was this Maggies fault? Her understanding of the local culture was that despite the obvious advantages of swapping the chief warlord position about, the fact that such maneuvering would necessitate the ruler administering the war, which was not what a ruler was supposed to be doing. She expected more pushback. She should put more on Nero. Next turn, you make the initial assault plans. Youve seen me work, you should have an idea on how to best utilize our skills and bonuses. Even if she needs to tweak the plans with mathamancy checks to optimize things, it would be a lot faster if Nero did the majority of the work while she conducted diplomacy. I will not diappoint you, Master! Nero said eagerly. Tanya exhaled deeply, settling into the scalp massage that Visha had turned the hair-washing into. Just remember that we have a lot of magical resources. Dont forget to consult with Maggie. And the thinkamancer can also beam the plan to Tanya to ensure she can keep control over how much shes risking herself. This is going to be a long war. --------------------------- Surprisingly, the Empire did not take any more cities the following turn, instead fortifying the two ones they did keep. Neros plan was not terribly different from the one that Tanya would probably have made, deploying Sizemore to make a tunnel with rails go directly to the first city so that they could repeat the previous strategy without dismissing the Railed special, leaving Jim behind so Tanya could be the warlord in the stack instead. Once captured, looted, and razed, they switched back to Jim and her being the caster and undid the spell so they could run the rest of the distance. Sure, they had properly led their riflemen this time and even had a presumably temporary Chief Warlord in both cities, but it just meant that Tanya had to actually use her backup plan, using foolamancy and mathamancy to increase the Mickeys defense against the ranged attacks and capitalize on the ricochet. The second time she also had to trick them with foolamancy into shooting the Mickeys instead of her riflemen, as they had smartened up and tried to use melee troops against her heavies. Unlike the other cities, they made sure to keep this one, a city by the name of Colon, fortifying it with Neros presence along with half of the riflemen and the Jim-led Mickey stack. For extra safety, she upgraded the city to level 4, an upgrade that the previous battles could let her afford without dipping into her gem hoard. Any flaw was plugged up the best they can, and even if they did attack it, there wasnt anything irreplaceable there. We heard rumors of the Empires next move. Isaac said during the next meeting. That was code for used their secret spying powers. Theyre making rubber golems to replicate the defensive prowess of your heavy units. The Dirtamansion has been buzzing about the new counter to guns. Well, that wasnt good. Tanya hummed. Well, its not surprising, but if theyre making golems, that means theyre making fewer rifles and ammunition. That must be why theyve paused their attacks. Well, that or she was actually stressing their logistics, as the Empire wasnt losslessly taking her cities. Weve taken an awful lot of their rifles. It does appear that these next few engagements will essentially decide the war between you. Kurt said, carefully examining the map of the Empire. With your new supply of rifles and enough high level leadership to leave behind, you could split off and continue your original raiding with impunity. Tanya looked over the map herself, noting the troop dispositions. Well maybe. I like the look of this curving line of cities. It would theoretically let her hit six cities in three turns, with some room to hide. It would also put her within engagement distance of two capital sites at the end, so she could strike either one once shes in position. But Id want to at least counter the Empires next stratagem first before counterattacking. As successful as they are, theyre still behind in comparison to two turns ago. Well, McBeth? Whats your next play? Break a leg. Chapter 2.11 The real problem with facing the Empire was their many high level casters. With thorough investigation, they finally have a final tally, though. Their Chief Caster, Pact Romano, is a level eleven Master-class signamancer. According to Janis, he was not capable of anything outside his specialty, but given that he was supposedly the one allowing multiple sides to act as one, this was not someone who could be dismissed. The most direct hazard to be aware of was him using pain-signs as a form of pseudo-shockamancy. Tanya fully expected him to start unloading literal F-bombs if she gave him the chance. In addition to him, they have six additional casters, each high level and with disciplines that are irritatingly just the right ones to make her life difficult. First and foremost, they have the Baddie thinkamancer of Sigmund von Fraud, who was exiled for publishing a book that contained thinkamancy trade secrets. Supposedly, the Great Minds managed to get rid of the tome, but she digresses. Hes quite capable of linking and unlinking safely entirely on his own, as a level eight Master. Well, safely is a relative term, but hes still alive, so hes either lucky, Lucky, or has a trick hes not sharing. Understandable. One of her greatest advantages in her extended conflict with Charlie is the support of the Great Minds, allowing her to freely explore the power of linkups. Its unpleasant for parity to be achieved there. Second, they have the casters that let them make guns. Adolf Altright is a level eight Adept-class Carnymancer, and while it does make sense in hindsight, seeing the Hitler unit be the carnymancer threw Tanya for a loop when she first saw his picture. Brutal von Boss is a level nine master-class dollamancer, known for his fashion but he took to experimenting with firearms with aplomb, apparently. Then theres Albert von Spear, the level ten Master-class dirtamancer thats the one making all those bullets and also golems and minecart rails. Third, they have the turnamancer Myne Camp, Adept-class, level 7. While it was easy to lower ones guard for this one after hearing the others, it was important to remember that level 7 was quite a high level and adepts were still quite dangerous. Relevantly, her contributions towards the Empires links was responsible for the Engine special, the thing that let a Railed unit move ten hexes for a single move point. Plus, there was the obvious threat of being captured then turned against your former allies, which was a quite uncomfortable thought. Tanya really preferred to not think too hard about Elyas contributions of that nature. Finally, and the single most dangerous one, was the level ten master-class shockamancer Klein Stein. Worse, he was also a master-class croakamancer, giving him the informal title of Frank. The good news was that Frank Klein Stein preferred to make quality units rather than mass animation, and used a rarely-used technique to consolidate bodies into a greater unit which he then animates. So while he wasnt the highly mobile threat Wanda was, he does still lead stacks of Heavy Knights while unleashing incredibly potent shockamancy. More importantly, he could funnel tower juice and his own sizable pool into the other casters, just like she can. No matter how many knights and warlords she croaks, unless she manages to croak several Chief Warlord candidates or the ruler, no amount of casualties she inflicts will matter without at least one of these casters leaving play. Unfortunately, with Schnitzelands proven threat, the Empire was keeping their casters safe. There were a few attempts to bait traps with duplicates of the casters although at least some of them were definitely just them needing to use the caster without risking them. Six turns passed as they each waited for the other to make a mistake. This wasnt good, as a sitzkrieg benefitted the larger side with the greater amount of juice generation. During the course of the war, the levels of Elya, Maggie, and Sizemore had risen to seven, eight, and seven. With Tanya counting as two level nines, that meant they had forty caster-levels of juice while the Empire had sixty-three, plus however many extra they get from their high-generation towers. It was estimated that this could theoretically double their juice supply, but given that this would require extensive travel on the part of both Stein and the caster hes supplementing, she suspects they didnt fully exploit this. Tanya did, to close the gap, but they only had twenty extra caster levels from that. But with that amount of time, Tanya was able to maneuver another slow attack, and an additional shipment of bulk units from Albinnys machinations (according to Queen Virginia, several of the sides surrounding the Empire has been contributing financially to help keep their very large neighbor busy) helped fill out their garrisons as Sizemore continued to fortify and make his own golems. It was quite nice that Sizemore seemed to agree with her that the Yahtzees ideology, even if it was a diluted copy of the actual Nazis, was worth discarding his pacifist ideals temporarily. It meant that she didnt need to work around them, and could use his talents at her discretion. Well, he probably would have resisted instructions to engage in direct combat, but risking him in combat was not something she was eager to do anyway, so that worked out. Maggie had racked up quite the pile of bodies from using the new machine gun during one of the major combat actions. She had learned a few eyemancy tricks to enhance her shooting, blasting through light cover as if it wasnt even there. Given that her signamancy was for Margaret Thatcher, the Iron Lady who saw Britain through a large chunk of the Cold War, her ability with the modern-ish weapon made perfect sense. She even wanted to come to the fight in a fit of whimsy, and while normally Tanya would say no, it suddenly occurred to her that there was no way the Yahtzees would be expecting Tanya to bring a thinkamancer to an attack, so she allowed it. This was probably her most telegraphed attack of the war. Two sixteen stacks of Mickeys, one led by Tanya, Jim Rowe, and his digger knights, the other led by Nero, Maggie, and some archer knights with Rifles. Their Combat ratings are a point or two higher, so with the Mickeys screening for them it should be more effective than using Recon knights. Once again, Tanya had duplicated herself and promoted herself to Chief Warlord, with the Duplicate serving as the Ruler. The duplicate served to command the air battle, or rather act as a distraction by threatening an air battle. She had spent the last turn using a sizable amount of ammunition picking off units on the walls and in the airspace from outside the hex, weakening their defenses substantially without them able to do a whole lot about it. Yes, they could make fortifications, but that just reduced the damage, and Tanya could mitigate the effectiveness of them with both magic and with how incredibly powerful Leadership was. The city in question that they were taking was Files. Another city that smacked of an industrialized nation in its signamancy, she was sure that the skyline was reminiscent of one city in particular, even if she cant identify which one. While Tanya wasnt an architect, she did recognize that the style was of early skyscrapers, tall and with a tube structure, with closely spaced columns deforming the flat surface. So American? [Whatchu Talkin Bout Tower, level 5] Juice: 0/500 Defense Platforms: 20/20 Upscaled tower, but with zero shockamancy air defense. Do they know she can see that? Whats their plan here? Maggie had used Lookamancy, of course, conveying their full layout, but she seemed to convey, deliberately, guilt and foreboding through their heartstring without actually saying anything or even hinting at it with body language. It made Tanya suspicious. Which was probably Maggies intention. Using the channels normally outside the influence of thinkamancy Was Fraud doing something strange? Was Charlie? Whatever it is, its behind sufficient cover that the feed from her duplicate and her stacks didnt pick out any caster units. It meant that any that are there are behind fortifications too thick for Recons limited lookamancy to see past. She sincerely doubted there was a foolamancer that could trick her duplicates spot checks but there was a first time for everything. Orders for her duplicate to spend juice on furthering Recons resolution didnt yield anything different. Any hidden surprise was hidden deep within the defenses. Decision time: Was she to trust in her intuition and call it off? No. If they did have some potent trump card, theyre not going to stop having it, and they likely need to commit at least one of their valuable casters to make it work. Under the assumption that whatever they had as a surprise, it was indeed deep in the defenses, Tanya went around the city to the weakest wall segment and repeated her earlier feat, breaking through the walls in a single combat action (albeit using a bit more resources to do so), and sent in the flying knights as well. If they had an airspace trap, best to force them to trigger it on her duplicate. Immediately, a stack of casters and a warlord emerged onto the tower parapet. How they managed that trick, Tanya didnt know. Okay, Analysis. [Prince Jack, Level 9 Barbarian Puppetmaster] Combat: 46 Defense: 33 Hits: 80+40 (80) Move: 11 Specials: Caster (Turnamancy, Dollamancy, Weirdomancy), Royal, Archery (knife) Magical Bonuses: Remote Link, Barrier, Bonus hits, Gummi Block, Heavy 6, Flight, Immunity (fire) [Prince Wilson Helmet , Level 12 Chief Warlord] Combat: 38 Defense: 38 Hits: 19 Move: 12 Specials: Knight, Leadership Magical Bonuses: Barrier (shockamancy), immunity (fire) [Turnamancer, Thinkamancer, Carnymancer, Level 23 linkup] Combat: 22 Defense: 22 Hits: 8/8/8 Move: 10 Specials: Casting Magical Bonuses: Linkup, Barrier (2/3), immunity (fire) uh oh. Prince Jack, fully buffed (she did not miss that Healomancy bonus) for trouble (and supported by the Arkendish, of all things), waved his knife across the sky, shouting Break your Crown!, and in one massive expense of juice every single one of her knights tumbled down from the sky. Sometimes her caster senses, including the enhanced visual acuity of Recon, was a curse: She could see Jacks vicious grin as easily as she could feel his sadistic glee echoing through their mutual heartstring. He met her gaze and mouthed: This is not an exit. which probably meant something to somebody, but not to her. While her knights did not immediately croak from the fall, that was only because of their Barriers. The accessories absorbed the natural shockamancy of the impact on the ones that had the accessory. The good news was that she had committed her original barbarian forces to this fight, the original 203 unit formation plus Visha. The bad news was that there were four additional stacks that did instantly croak, and while her duplicate had the presence of mind to order those units to unload their magazines against whatever they could find beforehand, they all had at least one spare magazine that would presumably be looted and used against her. This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. Tanya really didnt want to know what kind of absolute nonsense that other carnymancy/spookism link was cooking up, but she did not get her wish. The turn ended. Well, that figures. Carnymancy tricking the turn clock via turnamancy into ending prematurely? Yeah, that tracks. Well, she was trapped here, and while they probably had more surprises in store, like setting everything on fire (she also did not miss that immunity (fire) spell Jack had cast on all of them), but she had some actual combat to handle. Like this guy riding a T-Rex skeleton. No time to read them all, spend some juice on thought acceleration and- [Klein Stein, level 10 shockamancer] Conditions: Barrier, Knight, Immunity (fire) [Sue, Level 6 Tree Wrecks] [Tree Wrecks, levels 1-5] x17 Special: Forest-capable, Siege, Mount, Uncroaked, Golem(Dirtamancy), Heavy 5, Hard Conditions: Immunity (fire) [Harry, level 10 Warlord] Specials: Heavy 3, Uncroaked, Leadership Conditions: Shockamancy (attack), Barrier, Knight, Immunity (fire) [Heavy knight, levels 3-7] x16 Specials: Heavy 3, Uncroaked Conditions: Esprit de Corps, Knight, Immunity (fire) No time to check stats, Mathamancy has a spell for this! [Enemy Stack summary] Riders: 52/52/615 Mounts: 50/42/864/13 Ah. A linkup effect creating fossilized heavies, a mid-point between an uncroaked and a traditional dirtamancy golem. Given that they have levels, shes just going to assume theyre the best of both worlds. So, in summary: It was a stack that had more leadership, more caster bonus, bigger heavies, bigger knights, and was just as big as her stack. Her advantage was that Neros stack was here too. With a smaller bonus. Plus all of the infantry she brought along, but thats just going to distract everyone else. Shell just be happy that the spell took long enough that her entire invasion force managed to get into the city. While they might have allowed it on purpose, she cannot possibly imagine how her situation would be worse with more units. The uncroaked warlord was massive, of course, wearing a stylish trenchcoat and wielding a staff that was clearly a shockamancy weapon in the same vein of her knights pre-firearm weapons. But it probably had unlimited shots. [Stack summary] Riders: 45/45/792/736(1172)D Mounts: 39/45/702/6(17) [Allied Stack Summary] Riders: 49/35/231 Mounts: 32/37/691/5(16) Oh, right. Their heavies may be able to mount a Heavy Knight with some magical rejiggering, but her mounts can carry four knights each. Thats another edge she has. Neros stack has rifles, too. And digger means they ignore the fossils Hard special. So she isnt completely bereft. Still, while spending juice on thinkamancy to accelerate her thoughts for mid-combat planning was inexpensive, she was not capable of accelerating her thoughts to a standstill: It was time to act. She issued her orders. Maggie, disrupt! Nero, weapons free! Jim, ready for melee! Naturally, her commands were more complex than that, but that was the natural thinkamancy of orders. For example, she didnt actually know what Maggie could do to disrupt her enemies. She had some vague ideas of offensive thinkamancy screwing up enemy coordination, as thinkamancys niche with communication did extend to interfering with the enemys communications, but it was not something most thinkamancers were willing to risk themselves in battle doing. So they didnt discuss the matter too much in tactical discussions. But Maggie was a level eight Master for a reason, so she had plenty of juice to toss into something big. Before she could, though, Klein Stein used his juice against Neros stack. Presumably to take out the guns. Energy Equality Means Citing Squares! He shouted, sending a massive ball of clear damage. Uh oh. Despite her wand, Tanya was not a real master-class shockamancer. They knew clear damage. Her? Shes heard only rumors. The one thing she did know about it was that when it came to unloading a bunch of juice onto a super stack? It couldnt be beat. Exactly the kind of thing a shockamancer would use if he didnt want another, weaker shockamancer from stopping him. However Prism Crystal Shield! She shouted in Japanese, mentally waving goodbye to all of the juice she was planning on using to croak units this fight. The orb of power was promptly consumed by the spell, the wand automagically countering the enemy shockamancy without Tanya needing to use a specific counterspell, as a normal shockamancer would. This may be new clear damage, but her artifact didnt care. The Franks jaw dropped, his tongue lolling out in exact copy of that infamous silly Einstein image, completing the silly joke that his face created. I-impossible! He shouted. Its not my fault. Harry the uncroaked said, waving his magical staff emphatically. It launched a bolt of shockamancy at Tanya, but she was able to bat it aside with her wand reflexively, her mathamancy senses passively registering the 17 she just rolled on that defense check. Good roll. Maggies spell occurred next, a similarly large juice expense sounding out. Peabody! She shouted, smiling widely. The uncroaked immediately dismounted and unstacked, instantly losing 28 points in both combat and defense. Ah, she sees Maggies plan: by issuing false orders magically, the mindless uncroaked immediately respond, with Steins shock delaying his ability to order them to restack. Normally, this was not something that would be described as an instant win, as they could just stack back up. But uncroaked automatically fail the check to resist the spell, just like they do against foolamancy, and it was a soft counter to the date-a-mancy spells used to bind them into a larger than normal stack and to establish the Knight bond (soft only because those date-a-mancy spells provide a bonus to resist). So 8 of those points were gone for good, erasing their statistical advantage. Well, also there were Tanyas orders to Nero. A staccato of precise three-round bursts tore through Harry, Sue, and the heavy knights, but the fossil golems were only damaged by the barrage. The instant the bullets stopped, Jim charged forward, unfortunately not fast enough to prevent the Frank Klein Stein from restacking the Tree Wrecks. Tanya was caught a little off-guard by the lunge but quickly changed her priorities, slipping her Mickey to Klein. She pulled out one of her more disposable accessories out of her dress, a folded up net that she threw over the vastly weakened Klein. As a melee attack, she was able to take a penalty and issue a dismounting maneuver, bypassing the Tree Wrexs screen but doing no damage, instead triggering a fall. As a net attack didnt do damage anyway, this was not an issue and she moved the captured caster to an empty passenger slot on her heavy mount. Elya will have her way with him later. As previously noted, the digger knights tore through the rocky uncroaked as easily as they did a city wall, the lack of Harrys leadership bonus and stack bonus allowing them to cleanly cut through the hits that remained. Hard was an excellent special to be sure but against Digger or Siege, it was worse than if they didnt have it at all. With the stack fully dispatched, Tanya noted that Jim leveled to eight. He was getting up there in power, and would be a decent Chief Warlord when she leaves and Nero becomes the ruler. Granted, the difference between the two warlords was like the gap between heaven and earth, but Nero could use the balance. Still, they had a backup plan apparently, because it was at about that point that the traps triggered. The city was now on fire, and it was not her fault. You are trapped! Shouted von Fraud, the enemy thinkamancer. He had apparently unlinked with his fellows and was using basic foolamancy to project his voice. Prince Jack didnt have Remote Link anymore, so Charlies bugged out too. We know you know that we cannot be croaked by flames. This city has already become an inferno, so surrender and turn if you want yourself and your units to live, yeah? As she had expected, the thinkamancer had a German accent. Hes attempting to convince you magically. Maggie warned her. I am protecting you. Good effort. Tanya said back in a slightly raised voice. She knew he could hear her. Jim? I see a giant stone tree. You know what to do. Jim nodded seriously. Chop down the trees, to feel the breeze. He said, echoing the rhyme they used. Tanya started issuing orders to everyone to avoid the flames, maneuvering everyone back to the place they entered the hex from. As a city structure, the tower zone followed special rules. The courtyard zone could be downgraded by attacking the fortification structures, which would ripple to other parts of the zone and weaken the defenses as the levels lowered. It was not a common strategy, but if you had siege and digger units and a thoroughly entrenched enemy it was an option. This could also be used on the city as a whole, downgrading the city level and weakening the defenses everywhere at the cost of lowering your potential reward if you intended to raze the city for money or keep it as a free high level city. The tower, on the other hand, had two states: full power, or collapsing. Unlike when you were attacking other city zones, it didnt do anything until you fully destroyed it. It took less damage to do the job, but mathematically that was compensated for by the lack of degradation as you went. Her remaining not-currently-flying knights had cleared the courtyard, and the tower was absolutely loaded with enemy units. Thus Timber! Jim shouted as the heavily augmented diggers finished collapsing the tower. Compared to destroying a wall with units reinforcing it through natural changemancy, collapsing a tower was easy. In short order, the city was captured and Tanya used up the dirtamancy scroll she had to extinguish the flame. Idly, she had Maggie issue the order to Sizemore to scribe a replacement, as he suddenly had a lot of spare juice due to the premature turn end. --------------------------- Jack was still smiling, newly level ten, as Visha dragged him before her. I must say, bringing a thinkamancer? That was quite a good cheat. Well played. Tanya scoffed. Your side had two, if you count the Arkendish. Im afraid I dont know what youre talking about. Jack lied easily, before adding: On an unrelated note, have you ever read the nondisclosure section of a Charlsecomm work contract? A marvel of robust Language. So you were working for Charlie! Visha declared. Of course not. Jack lied immediately. I was working for Bethlefuck. Most of the people around winced at hearing the forbidden word. Wait hearing the name said so easily, Tanya suddenly recalled a name from bible study, back at the orphanage. Bethlehem? Thats the name Pact Romano riffed on? Air defense via mass removal of the flight special. My favorite type of contract, I got my last three levels that way. Including the one you got today. Tanya added sarcastically, to Jacks pleased smile. Now would be when you beg for your life. She said, activating her wands lightsaber. Jack frowned. Youre not going to give me to Lady von Culper? He asked, confused. You could turn now. Tanya offered. Its not any fun that way. Jack whined, Come on, let her at me. Itll be great! Shell level! Something about letting Elya try to turn a more skilled, higher level turnamancer sounded unwise. But he was right: the amount of experience shed get for doing so would be plentiful, and then theyd have a level ten puppetmaster on their side. ...Youre trying to trick me. Tanya said, more to herself than to him. The only one trying to trick you here is Fate. Jack said, dropping his jovial facade. Tell me, was bringing your thinkamancer along part of the plan all along? Or was it a spur of the moment decision? Random chance that just so happened to turn out into an unexpectedly good idea? Tanya stilled at the question. ...I suppose as a Master dollamancer, youd know a thing or two about Fate. She said carefully. Youd be right. Jack said easily. Back on my old side, we fought a war against another side, who had a predictamancer. She foresaw my Fate, as she did for many others. He chuckled evilly. There are three things that must happen in my life that havent yet occurred; if someone was to croak me before they could occur, all of that destiny would become snarled, and that does not end well for the one who dares to cut at Fate. What if that person was also protected by Fate? Tanya asked, drawn in to his explanation. Oh, if you thought your Fate was irritating you before, it can get so, so much worse. Jack said, somehow managing to seem empathetic while on the ground in shackles. Id tell you to ask that Croakamancer you used to work with, but well, lets just say that once youve fulfilled your part in Fates plan, most units dont tend to live much longer. Its because theyre too used to taking risks that always pay off. Hm. Wanda overestimated her importance in Fates plan, then? Tanya asked, raising an eyebrow. More or less. Jack agreed, Predictions are more flexible than most people give them credit; while some of the predictions involving Miss Firebaugh absolutely required her presence, some isnt all. Charlescomms incredibly powerful defenses doesnt enter into it? Tanya asked wryly. Oh, it certainly does. Jack said agreeably. I wouldnt be surprised if Charlie got another load of bad luck from breaking at least a few predictions in that battle. His eyes flashed dangerously. But thats nothing new to him. Hm. Tanya closed her eyes and contemplated her options. She could croak him, to spite Fate but despite the comparison her mind wants to draw between the omnipresent force and Being X she really didnt have much to complain about. Particularly if it did just save her bacon. Plus, even with how comfortable shes gotten with killing people, particularly in this world where most of the disgusting parts of dealing with death were absent that didnt mean she didnt feel uncomfortable with executing someone she knows personally. Yes, it was hypocrisy, but it was human nature to elevate ones friends and acquaintances over an impersonal enemy. But that didnt mean she should let him have what he wants; even if he was just implementing reverse psychology, trying to get her to not want to turn him by seeming too eager She wasnt going to keep him long term anyway. Itd be better if she committed him to a contract for long-term work that would keep him working for her for far longer than she would be keeping this side perfect. No, I dont want you to turn. Tanya decided out loud. Jack looked confused, but her instincts said he was faking it. Instead, well work out a barbarian work contract, which well get Janis to settle the fine details of. She smiled sweetly. Until then, three turn contract and Ill release you: Full service, follow any non-combat order me or my commanders give you. Upkeep covered, penalty is immediate imprisonment, imprisonment at end of contract if no other contract Signed. In return, you wont be compelled to turn. She brought out her signamancy wand, writing the simple contract on a piece of paper and handing him the slip. Agreed? After a moment to process it, Jack frowned. ...Well thats no fun at all. Fine. His shackles dissolved as the contract shined and vanished. Right. First order: Tell me everything you know about Fate. Chapter 2.12 Jacks explanation about Fate was more complete than what Tanya had heard before. The short version was that Fate didnt have one overarching plan, but instead a series of small plans that frequently get tangled together. It wasnt impossible to untangle them, but it was difficult. The three Predictions that Jack had mentioned were: He was fated to lead a stack of eight other casters against a particular side alone, he was to be croaked by a unit with particular traits (he refused to elaborate, citing it as a combat-related order), and he was to be critical to The End of Erf as we know it. He had been recruiting an all-star list of casters for his attack for a while, and had been intending to recruit Tanya for it, as her signamancy was sufficiently murderous, apparently. Tanya wanted to take offense to that, but she has croaked an awful lot of units personally She rejected his offer nonetheless, as Underwhere was a side she recognized from talks with Janis about offensive date-a-mancy; the ruler was a hippiemancer, and it would likely compromise her relations with the Glade if she followed through on the offer. Moving on, Fate was reasonably patient; free will and clever decision making can stave off Fate for a time, for thousands of turns even, but it will eventually have its due. Once Fate was done with you, you suddenly became at the mercy of Numbers, and as Kurt repeatedly emphasized: Zero always calls. It was rather grim, when thought of in that way. It wasnt enough for this world to encourage everyone to kill each other, it also had to have a guiding hand to stir the pot. Still, despite everything, its still probably a step up from participating in World War I as a magic child. She cant rest easy until Charlies out of the picture, because she represents a weapon Fate is wielding against him. It would, of course, be preferable to come to some sort of peaceable agreement, but Sparing a bit of juice, Tanya focused on the heartstring between her and Charlie. From there, she got an impression of not only their relationship, but his general emotional state. Hm, he was indulging in his addiction, she wasnt picking up the usual pain and spite against the world that was his default. Jack didnt really understand why the hero buds hurt then-Princess Jillian as they did, but it told Tanya enough to realize why Charlie always felt like garbage most of the time: it was withdrawal. Charlies scheme to exile Tanya back to the Empire now made sense: if Fate had to conspire to pull Tanya back into Erf from outside the universe, and couldnt bring anyone else to bear against him until Tanya had died, that buys him potentially years of life. It was just tragic that the enemy brought to fight him considered being returned to where they came from to be a worse option than remaining here: She imagines that if the Perfect Warlord was anyone else, a ticket home would have been a perfect solution. Which is why Fate plucked someone who wouldnt be amenable to it. Argh, free will and precognition is such a headache! On one hand, she hates feeling manipulated. On the other hand, all Fate really did in that case was just pick the right girl for the job. Its even provided her the resources to compete with the man, backing her all the way. If she had been offered the job with eyes wide open, when the alternative was signing up for the Empires military shed likely have taken it. Shell just blame Being X for putting her into a position where this life was an appealing alternative and be done with it. With her existential crisis dealt with, it was time to sleep. They have a big day tomorrow --------------------------- Tanya had ordered a rebuild of the damaged parts of the city without Sizemores discount, as she had brought all those infantry into the city for a reason and she was damned if she was going to lose against a counterattack without making full use of her meat shields. In this case, by having their presence reinforce the walls, mostly. But with three of their casters croaked and one more captured, even if Klein was the least critical to their operations, they couldnt just not counterattack: the Dirtamancer von Spear led a force of Rubber Golems, looking pretty much exactly like the Mickeys, but instead of being giant mice that acted like tanks, they were tanks that were mocked up to look like the giant mice. Including the turret. [Rubber Golem] x18 Combat: 64 Defense: 53 Hits: 24+12 Move: 14 Special: Golem (Dirtamancy), Golem (Dollamancy), Sapper (Cannon), Heavy 4, Gummi Block, Mount Conditions: Esprit de corps, Reinforce Golem Actually made a unit that had the special natively... Yeowch. Is that a +20 combat from the cannon? [Zed von Tour, Level 11 Chief Warlord] Conditions: Barrier (4/1), Archery (rifle) [Albert von Spear, level 11 dirtamancer] Conditions: Barrier (2/1), Archery (rifle) [Knights, level 1-3] x64 Specials: Archery (bow), Knight Conditions: Archery (rifle) There were two more stacks led by lesser warlords, who didnt have the very expensive date-a-mancy spell doubling their stack size. Shed ask how they got the juice to make that many golems but she already knew about their usage of their towers as juice generators using their Frank. Who she has captured. Which they know. Nevertheless, their barrage of cannons destroyed the walls quickly, croaking everyone on one section of the wall. The march of technology emerges victorious over fortifications once again. This would be enough force to destroy pretty much any city that wasnt prepared for guns; even if you had some big magic to counter the super-stack, the two other stacks still had the offensive power to shred anything resembling a normal garrison, and the Sapper special meant that enemy fortifications may as well not be there for those attacks. But they were attacking her, which was a different story entirely. There were enough looted guns from their casualties and held by Yahtzee forces that Jims shovel knights all picked up one; even if they had less combat than normal or archery knights they still had some levels on them, which was good enough. The thing about the gummi block special is that it is, in gaming nomenclature, a win-more mechanic. It does mean you take far less damage from bullets, but Hard would do it to melee as well, for less resources invested, and it doesnt provide any bonuses to your defense, which matters when even weak guns give a +10 to combat. It does reflect missed shots, but if the incoming attacks werent missing Well, doing overkill amounts of damage with guns is hardly difficult. But if they were missing enough for the gummi block special to do work you were probably going to win anyway, it just lets you do it with less losses. A special that boosted your combat based on how much your defense beat their combat would be just as useful, in many ways. Further, while that Reinforce Golem spell was smart, Analysis said it gave +5 defense on top of those extra hits, it had to be cast on each golem; the off-stacks dont have it at all. It was a limitation that Tanya was well familiar with; making one super powerful stack was easy, but then youd get swarmed and eventually taken out. In the worst case, youll be taken out because the enemy made a better super-stack than you did. But making more than that meant that you had weaker stacks, which took more losses than your super stack would. Granted, as she mostly used foolamancy and mathamancy to protect her units, she could usually preserve the forces of two additional reinforced stacks without much issue, but once she was using more than the 48ish units she started off her knight battalion with, it took some serious levels of overkill to not lose at least a few units just from bad luck. Of course, the strike force of Rubber Golems and knights didnt attack alone: There was also ten stacks of Lyft-Waft combos, each also armed with a rifle. She still had around one hundred and fifty flying knights, albeit in ten incomplete stacks, which engaged them. Unfortunately, while Jack did use Halt Effort on all of the flight removal spells he cast, their hits, ammunition, and barrier specials were all still depleted, so Tanya expected severe losses. Unlike last time, Maggie couldnt just input false orders and expect that to work; the false orders spell relies on the orders in question being reasonable ones, and splitting up a stack enhanced by Esprit de Corps is quite unreasonable indeed. For the stack of uncroaked? Not a concern, they didnt have enough thoughts in their heads to evaluate orders, they just obeyed them. For those very much living knights, caster, and warlord? Well, from the conversation they had about it in the debrief, Maggie could probably use a mental attack directly on the warlord or the caster, confusing them, but the presence of two commanders meant that doing so wouldnt help much, and she wasnt practiced enough in thinkamancy attacks to hit both of them. But there was an alternative option: Shotgun! Maggie had declared as she settled in at Tanyas side when they first noticed the invading force. Once more, the familiar feeling of a linkup expanded Tanyas mind. The world was made of strings. She knew this already, of course, but the implications of this Well, they had long figured out that one of the thinkamancers greatest lies was that they could not croak anyone with their magic. As if scrambling someones brains to the point where you needed to pay another thinkamancer or a master-class healomancer to even try to reverse, which they did let people know they could do, was any better. So when Tanya and Neros stacks turned towards the invaders, she sent some juice towards Zed von Tour, infesting his own strings. After two heartbeats, the juice exploded, echoing the implemented command throughout his stack on all bands, G-strings and H-strings both. Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. You see, the reason the spell could be resisted at all is not because of the units ability to resist being ordered in general, that made no sense. What it did was emulate orders from the Ruler, which can be overwritten with Duty for commanders, and the chain of command for non-commanders. But when the orders come with the date-a-mancy signature of the Chief Warlord you were currently stacked with Well, there wasnt any higher authority than that. Would you kindly? And thus kindly, they scattered. As before, the battle was quick and bloody, metaphorically, after that. --------------------------- Once their turn began, with substantially fewer forces than they started last turn with, Elya was able to be brought in to turn the shockamancer. Paperclip! Elya cast, and in an instant the white-haired casters lab coat was bearing Tanyas personal livery, the twin-headed dwagon. Ahem. Good evening, your majesty. Klein Stein said, adjusting his bushy moustache. Im afraid I have no juice this turn, but I could draw some from the tower and begin animating a defense force from the turns casualties. Already drained it. Take some. Tanya said, Friendship Unity Magic. Her wand, ever so reliable, injected the juice into the croakamancers system. Ive had the infantry sorting the bodies for you, focus on the flying knights. Theyll make good chaff for our counterattack. Fortunately, she didnt bring all of her knights to this city for the attack, so she had some reserves to replenish their numbers. Ah, what is that spell you used? Im familiar with it, but why the different words? Klein Stein asked. Artifact. Tanya said bluntly. Lets me cast a limited list of master-class shockamancy spells. Some of them are even context-sensitive. That does explain why despite it being new, clear damage was not an obstacle to you. Klein said, humming. Well, off to work. I do like your heavy knight uncroaked, but Im sure its far more efficient to create ordinary uncroaked. Keep at that for now. Tanya warned him. Maggie, smiling at her new level, gestured to the map table. Ive already extracted everything our new caster knows about the forces of the Empire. Shall we plan? Lets. --------------------------- As it turned out, they had finally exhausted the Empires supply of guns and most of their leadership to boot. They definitely could make more, but it meant that Tanyas forces finally had the initiative. The Empires cities started falling easily to her knight blitzes, none of them able to muster substantial defenses that they couldnt overcome with liberal applications of firepower. The only reason that she didnt take all of them was the simple expedient of NordVPN popping up, interrupting her war by advertising their return, claiming their old cities and then some. Still, they did have one last trick up their sleeve. Attacking the capital city, named Scotplay for some asinine reason, was naturally difficfult. The tower just kept replenishing juice, to the point where Tanya had to rush to ger her stack out of the airspace, sacrificing a sizable amount of the ablative units. She stormed towards the throne room, shooting down opposition with a stack of her knights at her back. Getting to the throne room was a simple matter; von Spear didnt seem to be big on obfuscation when it came to his defensive architecture. She had to cut through a few siege doors with her wands vibration mode, but breaking down defenses is what that is for. The thrones door, on the other hand, was clearly unlocked and openable. How it managed to do this was a mystery (signamancy, probably), but why it was done was quite apparent. Entering this room constitutes an agreement to a wartime resolution via duel between rulers, total isolation ruleset. All aggression outside of this duel will immediately cease, and to the victor goes the entirety of the assets of the losers side. Violations constitute surrender. -Pax Romano, Chief Signamancer -William Helmet, Emperor of Bethlefuck Ah. Janis had warned her about this when they discussed what to expect from a master-class signamancer vis a vis defenses. Mostly, that trap agreements like this had many complicated rules, they couldnt be too one-sided. Ruler vs. ruler was fair, everything vs. everything as stakes were also fair, from a certain point of view. [Queen Tanya von Degurechaff, level 9 Warlord] Hits: 7 Except for that. Still, she was reasonably certain of victory, particularly with her Fate still helping out, so She took out one of the scrolls Jack had prepared for her, and cast it on her armor. Sweaterknit! Her magical girl dress, which was fairly tattered from the expense of the Barrier special on the way in, restored itself to prime condition. [Queen Tanya von Degurechaff, level 9 Warlord] Hits: 7 (11) Good. While shes at it She took out one of her healomancy wands. Grannykiss. The bleeding cut on her thigh from a minor spike wall trap, which seemed to disturb her stack immensely, sealed up and the loose blood vanished. [Queen Tanya von Degurechaff, level 9 Warlord] Hits: 11 (11) Much better. After refilling her juice stores from her wand, and refilling her wand from her less useful wands, her own estimation as to what constituted a fair fight prevented her from doing more, so she opened the door with an assent, walking into the room as if she owned the place. She was about to, after all. She noted that her Chief Warlord bonus vanished, part of the total isolation ruleset. There was a very distinctive musical accompaniment to her arrival, brassy notes building the suspense. William Helmet was massively tall, garbed in completely black armor, not a single speck of skin revealed. The mans breathing was labored, his bulk presumably giving him little stamina. [Emperor William Helmet, Dark Waiter, level 8 Heavy Warlord] Combat: 32 Defense: 32 Hits: 38 (38) Move: 6 Specials: Heavy, Leadership, Ruler, Royal Conditions: Dark Lord, Barrier, Hard Huh. Is that a title-based special? Janis never mentioned that Analysis said it made him immune to critical hits and the bonus damage from beating his defense rating, plus certain specials that boosted damage, like Ambush. He also had a +1 stack bonus, because behind the Emperor was someone else, the power behind the throne. [Emperor Pact Romano, Lord Palpitation, level 11 Signamancer] Combat: 12 Defense: 20 Hits: 9 (9) Move: 11 Specials: Caster (Signamancy, Date-a-mancy), Ruler, Royal Conditions: Terrifying, Barrier, Tower Connection Hm, the terrifying special apparently is foolamancy to confound opponents, but her senses are too good for it to have any effect. Tower connection just means he can direct the towers juice, which would be scary if he was a shockamancer, but its probably just him multitasking by keeping an eye out for further air forces. This is your last city, how do you have two Emperors? Tanya asked, to break the ice. Signamancy is a pathway to many abilities that some would consider unnatural. Pact replied, chucking darkly. Hm. [Queen Tanya von Degurechaff, level 9 Warlord] Combat: 39 Defense: 39 Hits: 11 (11) Move: 47/80 Specials: Tanya, Royal, Leadership, Caster, Ruler, Flight, Recon Conditions: Shockamancy, Barrier, Mile-High, Inventory Shes got a good chance, depending on what kind of magic hes planning on outputting. Welcome, young Tanya. The blatant Darth Vader reference says. I have been expecting you. Im looking forward to having you serve under me. The equally blatant Emperor Palpatine reference adds. In time, you will call me Master. Eugh Youre gravely mistaken. Tanya replied, She had seen Star Wars, after all. You wont convert me as you have my counterpart over here. Oh no, my young Queen. Path said, grinning. You will find it is you who are mistaken about a great many things. Your lightsaber. Will Helmet commanded. Simultaneously, they activated their weapon accessories, blades of energy emerging from the wand-like hilts. Hers was silver, his was a blood red. Ah yes, once it was the most powerful weapon type imaginable. Path said fondly. No longer. A more elegant weapon from a more civilized age. Tanya joked. Path laughed. You really understand signamancy, dont you? He asked, At a deeper level than even I, in some ways. I believe your next line is: Strike me down, and I will return more powerful than you can imagine? Tanya asked sarcastically. No. Path said, still amused. I believe this is where I show you my UNLIMITED POWER! On cue, he unleashed a storm of shockamancy. Prism Crystal Armor. Tanya said in Japanese, twisting her defense spell into a shell that absorbed the shockamancy, taking the form of crystal wings made of force fields that drew the lighting towards them. Her juice steadily depleted, but it did not otherwise do anything. The Fate is with you, young Degurechaff. Will Helm said ominously, But you are not an Empress yet. The fight began. Tanya decided to go all out, maximizing her advantages. There''s a moment in your bones when, when the fire takes over She sang, her wands lightsaber. automatically responding to her will and bursting into flames. Blood is running, heart is pumping as the battle gets closer The wand started pulsing with deep base, adding sonic damage to the swing as she took the first swipe. Direct hit. [Emperor William Helmet, Dark Waiter, level 8 Heavy Warlord] Hits: 38 (21) Hm. Below average, but not by much. Paths lightning crackled around her, absorbed by the crystals. Tanya danced out of the way of Dark Waiters lightsaber, the dance-fighting both removing the +1 stack bonus he had and adding looks like +3 to her. She needs more practice with Rhyme-o-mancy, those are novice numbers. Nevertheless, its turning her 7 point advantage into a 11 point one, which halves his chance to hit and her chance to miss. They could say what they want now, Tanya continued singing, invisible backup singers providing some a wordless notes in support. Because well be screaming out, She lashed out again, hitting him again with a triple-damage hit that would really hurt if he wasnt immune to critical hits. [Emperor William Helmet, Dark Waiter, level 8 Heavy Warlord] Hits: 38 (1) Damn, better roll but the next one just doesnt matter with that Barrier. I can be a hero everywhere I go, Tanya continued singing, I can have all that I ever want. As the backup choir continued with the music, Tanya barely deflected Dark Waiters attack. Swinging like a hero, knocking out bodies, Standing on top like a champion. Holding back the juice-augmented swing, Tanya practically tapped the enemy to remove the Barrier. Keep your silver, give me that gold, you will remember when I say- Tanya took a hit of her own, the lightsaber exploding with power as it struck and overwhelmed her barrier. [Queen Tanya von Degurechaff, level 9 Warlord] Hits: 11 Boop, he got a good enough damage roll to pop it in one swing. If shes lucky, she can take one more hit. I can be a hero everywhere I go, Tanya continued singing, keeping me down is impossible. Another strike to her enemy, energy damage back so as to bypass his damage reduction. [Emperor William Helmet, Dark Waiter, level 8 Heavy Warlord] Hits: 14 -because Im unstoppable. Tanya sang, noting that her juice reserves had already gone well past the halfway point. Emperor Will Helm took his last strike, only managing to tear away what was left of half of her skirt before Tanya struck him down. Woah oh, Im unstoppable. She sang as she approached the near-helpless signamancer. Woah oh, Im unstoppable. One strike, repeated via an exertion of dittomancy instead of enhanced with shockamancy, finished the job. Woah oh, Im unstoppable. Tanya sang, finishing it. Once more, a feeling of euphoria overtook her, simultaneous to the full takeover of the city. [Empress Tanya von Degurechaff, level 10 Warlord] Excellent. She looked herself over, using a drop of juice on mathamancy to assess her growth now that she was in a sixteen year old body. Ah, as she had always hoped, she was now tall. Well, for a girl. Locally, she was probably one of the tallest around, though, so that was good enough for her. Her other measurements were also quite satisfactory, any further growth would just be a bonus. With a satisfied hum, she took out her wand of repair accessory and used it to restore her outfit to its normal state. It could only store enough juice to bring her barrier to a single hit, though, which was pretty good, but restoring all of it didnt cost that much more Shell need to get a bigger wand of this. Still, taking the last city of the Empire was just the start. She still had plenty of other things she needed to do to secure the place. Before she left. Hm She wonders whats spawned in that ruins hex since shes last visited? Chapter 2.13 The ruins hex was just as hellish of a frozen peak as last time, with what appeared to be some kind of house golem as a defender. It was somewhat similar to tales of the Baba Yagas chicken hut except that instead of chicken legs, they were excessively provocative womens legs that glowed with an inner light while wearing fishnet stockings and high heels. The upper portion of the house also appeared to have something resembling a lampshade instead of a roof, but [Gamble House] Combat: 18 Defense: 18 Hits: 1 Move: 0 (garrison) Special: Heavy, Legendary, Fragile It must be Italian. Nevertheless, it was easily dispatched at her level, despite the utterly broken special that made it invulnerable to any hit that wasnt a critical hit, so it really didnt matter even if she didnt use the singular luckamancy wand which bent probability to make a single attack a hit, with a much greater chance of that hit being a critical. She used it anyway, mind you. As the house collapsed on the legs, the legs shriveled up oddly, the feet rolling backwards until they were fully underneath the broken house. The giant black high heels were left behind, and they immediately transformed into Well. Those looked familiar. The Arkenshoes had the same otherworldly aura to them that the other Arkentools shed seen had, ruby red and sparkling, exactly as Jack Snipe described them. It was an easy decision to ditch the Mile High club shoes in favor of them, just to see what the effect was for the non-attuned. She [Empress Tanya von Degurechaff, Level 10 Warlady] Combat: 43 Defense: 43 Hits: 20 (20) Move: Special: Tanya, Attuned, Leadership, Caster, Flight, Recon, Royal Conditions: Shockamancy, Barrier, Leadership x2 didnt get to know that. As she had observed in both Wanda and Stanley, her statistics had all been given a boost, with her weakest stats getting a larger one than her stronger ones. Two points in her combat and defense, and nine in her hits. Her move, as advertised, was now infinite. In that respect, the only difference between Tanya and Judy Gale was that Tanya didnt need a broom accessory to fly between hexes, so as to not render that advantage hellishly aggravating. Still, it was the thought of the Arkenshoes other power that rooted the Empress to the spot. To return home. One of the exercises that Janis had assigned Tanya to refine her date-a-mancy was to examine her own heartstrings, to better understand her own feelings. More importantly, to find fainter and fainter heartstrings, ones that became harder to detect as the emotions between them became weaker and weaker. This could be very new heartstrings or very old ones. She found seven. Two she had identified as belonging to the Empire, Sister Edda, the one who was the most understanding whenever one of the children (Never her, of course. Not out loud.) uttered angry words in Being Xs direction for their miserable lot in life. She always tried to defend the bastard, of course, but the fact that she didnt punish those words was worlds better than the other nuns. The other was little Natalie, the four year old that had become convinced that Tanya was her big sister, who was also named Tanya. The other five? Mother. Father. Grandfather. Her old mentor, Takami-san. Finally, her good friend who got her foot in the door of that excellent job she had before she died, Mizuki. There were probably more that would share a heartstring, but the barriers between worlds and the separation of years wore away at them, eventually snapping. At least, they would have if she didnt use more juice than she really should have reminding herself of those happy memories. Probably not by now, but eventually? Unquestionably. Really, the Arkenshoes power had to involve date-a-mancy, given how they supposedly worked the two times they were used. The first time, Judy Gale had teleported mere feet, finding herself among her new friends. Years later, after those friends had all either fallen or soured their relationship? Only then did it truly return her home. She could go home, right now. Leave this world of war and death behind, where the idea of living twenty years total was considered a tremendous achievement. Where one of the most powerful men in the world wanted her dead. But it would also leave her side in a bit of a pickle. It wouldnt destroy them, of course: Nero was still an heir. She could spend thirty-five thousand shmuckers right now to promote Visha to heir as well. Still she missed them. Being in a modern world, even if she had to start over at a new office on top of whatever she needed to do to get credentials it would be better than this place. She needed a compromise. She definitely shouldnt leave immediately, she should set everything up to maximize her sides long-term odds of survival. Also, probably get some things that should help her life back home, like gold bars or something. Then she leaves. Yes, good plan. --------------------------- Flying with the Arkenshoes was interesting. She could just keep accelerating, the normal speed limit she had was gone. Further, hex borders normally gave some tiny amount of perceptible resistance even if you had enough move to go through the border. With the Arkenshoes? None at all. If she wasnt paying close enough attention, she could miss that she had gone through a hex border at all. Still, soon enough she was able to stop on a dime right above her capital, and descended to get to work. Maggie, I need to speak to Sizemore. I also need a status report on prisoners. In seconds, a thinkamancy message transmitted the relevant report. Elya has been busy turning the numerous units captured from the full conquering of the Empires old territories, but there were a few notable prisoners that were transferred to and kept in the capitals prisons. Shell visit them after her talk with Sizemore. So Tanya settled into the meeting room that was right next to the fortified but also elegantly decorated portal reception area. It had a throne for her, of course, but also a round table with many comfortable chairs, and additional chairs with small tables for any entourages that werent directly part of the meeting, the overall impression reminding Tanya of a coffee house. Within about a minute of her sitting down, the instant she finished settling in, Sizemore entered the room. Whats cooking? He asked easily, followed by a pair of hippiemancers that were laughing and giggling at him like groupies. Sizemores signamancy had shifted substantially from his time in the Glade of the Hippiemancers: His balding had reversed, becoming a full head of hair that wouldnt be out of place headlining a rock band, and his Erfmover casting focus had been changed out for a guitar, which was taken off his back by one of his groupies so as to not get in his way while seated. He was no longer wearing a shirt, instead just wearing a denim vest to go with his tight pants, and he didnt have anything to be ashamed about when it came to that bare skin. Well, before we go on to the build plans for the turn, I have two matters Id like to address. Tanya said, internally wincing at how she slipped into corpo speak. Sizemore seemed to not hold it against her, though. Eh, Janis said things had to change soon now that the wars over. Whats up? Gonna pick up stakes soon? Yes and no. Tanya said honestly, before coughing and trying to speak more on Sizemores level. The vibes here are pretty good. Its far enough away from Charlie that hes not gonna have an easy time of it if he wants to harsh our mellow. Going even further is not gonna do a thing. You feel me? Sizemores confident front settled into a more natural smile, the invisible tension that occurred when the meeting start fading away. Ah, I get it. Its about me turning, right? Tanya smiled sadly and nodded. At this point, its pretty much now or never. Tanya confirmed, As I said before, Im not going to demand that you join up. Youre my friend, and I dont need to be able to disband someone in order for them to stay my friend. Sizemores smile widened a bit at that confirmation. However, I did leave a rather substantial amount of shmuckers with you under the understanding that it was to tide you over while we didnt have a treasury. If you do not join up, if you remain a free barbarian, we need to make a retroactive contract to determine how much work would be owed for that payment, deduct the amount already done, and thus establish the time frame in which breaking all ties will be equitable for everyone. Sizemore scratched his cheek nervously. And uh if that money happened to be all gone? He asked. If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. Tanya chuckled. Yeah, she expected that he wouldnt be able to resist being too generous to the Glade. Well, if you turn, Im willing to just write off the loss. No big deal. It was only two hundred thousand shmuckers, after all. Painful, but she paid more for Ace. Sizemore relaxed. If you dont, then all that means is that you cant get out of further work by just returning the money. Youll be on the hook for the whole amount, minus work already done. Oh man, you really know how to guilt a guy Sizemore groaned, looking a bit more like his old self as he worried. His entourage sipped at the drinks served by the courtiers that were assigned as waitstaff for this meeting. If you wish to have your turning be moderated by a signamancy agreement with the side, binding on not only myself but any future rulers of this side which Ill likely have renamed or something, She actually had a more complicated idea, but that was for later. -Im willing to agree to some concessions. I suspect youd desire a schedule of vacation days, if nothing else. Vacation days? Sizemore said, confused. Tanyas eye twitched, annoyed. Okay, she knows shes used that term in reference to his turns off in the Magic Kingdom before. How high has he been getting? ...Yeah, that sounds cool. Soon enough, Sizemore had finally turned back. Shed be surprised if she didnt know Janis had been pushing him to do so. She even came in and moderated the agreement gratis after Tanya explained that she didnt hold Sizemores spendthrift ways against the Glade. The contract was quite reasonable, in Tanyas opinion. Which meant it was basically bending over backwards by local standards. He got one vacation day for every four turns worked and could not be forced to engage in offensive wars, and any concerns about malicious compliance of the terms were handled by both the magical intent of the agreement, Master-class signamancy was useful like that, and by the natural thinkamancy of Duty preventing him from taking his vacation days if it would damage the side, instead of just slowing down the economic and logistical benefits his spells provide. Now, on to the other matter. Tanya said, taking out a gem. Dirtamancers can create raw materials, right? Say ingots of metal? Yes, although theres not much call for it. Sizemore explained, Raw materials are usually popped by workshop-type buildings, and thats one of those buildings that are incredibly easy to get on accident if you can make use of that kind of stuff. Dollamancers in the Magic Kingdom occasionally request such things, although they usually ask the changemancers for them, because dirtamancers are typically too busy with other things. Especially now that more and more sides are asking about bullets. Fantastic. Tanya said, smiling. Now, what I want from you is a few ingots of gold. Maybe even a scroll of it. Sizemore frowned. Well, that ones actually a bit strange. Gold is a bit like a metal gem. You actually make it with moneymancy, not dirtamancy. If you wanted to make anything out of the gold, youd want another caster, but if you want just an ingot or some coins, its moneymancy. Really? Tanya focused for a moment, spent ten shmuckers and created a gold coin. It had the symbol on her earrings on one side, and her face on the other. It works for silver, too. Sizemore added, and Tanya made one as well. Theres a few others, but those are the main two. Interesting. Tanya said, humming. She snapped the two coins in her fingers and they turned back into shmuckers in her purse. Well, thats one thing down. --------------------------- One of the prisoners in the dungeon was an interesting one. Elya had outright failed to turn him on her first two attempts. As the subject matter expert, she determined that her juice was better spent turning other prisoners, ordering him transferred to the capitals dungeon for her to attend to more thoroughly later. It made Tanya curious, what kind of man he was. [Joshua von Caanan, level 8 warlord (prisoner)] He didnt have anything special about him, if you only looked at his points. He was a noble, yes, with his stat bonus applied to his hits, but otherwise he was no different than any other level 8 warlord. No, what made him interesting was his livery. His armor was black, with a white collar. Further, he was absolutely covered in burn scars, with old bandages covering up most of them. As a prisoner, certain facets of his upkeep werent paid for, including signamantic luxuries such as that. This was unusual. What really rang alarm bells was the state of his pistol, which Tanya had retrieved from her Inventory as she walked down the dungeon hall to meet the prisoner. Most guns, which she would go so far as to say every single one except this one, looked standardized. They didnt have livery or designs or anything, they were just normal pistols and rifles. This one, on the other hand it had the words The Light Shined in the Darkness etched on one side and The Darkness Comprehended it Not on the other. The handle also appeared to have some kind of snakeskin grip, too. Otherwise it just looked like an old, weathered, but still functional example of a pistol. Well, call her Darkness, because she sure as hellabad wasnt comprehending this. Why was this pistol customized? What about this man made him so distinctive? That was what she was here to find out. Even if it did feel a bit like masochism for some reason. Idly, she twirled the pistol in her hand as the man stared her down, manacled to the ground on a long chain but with reasonable amounts of freedom of movement. Youre a strange one. She eventually said. I am what the Titans have chosen for me. He said simply. From how he spoke, one could easily forget that he was a prisoner. Do those burn scars hurt? Tanya asked. Pain was interesting in this world. Unlike everyone else, she could bleed and felt what was probably an appropriate amount of pain when losing hits, but most units could not only live with some truly gruesome injuries, but act more or less without penalty, unless they had, for example, lost a hand or something like that. Even then the mathmancy calculations didnt seem to budge for such injuries beyond the natural consequences of fighting while severely depleted of hits. They felt pain, but she suspected that it was substantially less than what she had to power through. Joshua chuckled. Just when I smile. He joked. Hm. Well, lets start with an easy one: Why are you so adamantly against turning to my side? Tanya asked, Did the Emperor endear himself to you so much? No. He said simply. The Titans have revealed to me my Fate, and I cannot enact their will under your banner. Oh? Fate again? What, perchance, would that Fate be? Tanya asked, curious. Yes, she wasnt exactly enacting interrogation best practices here, but worst case, she can just order Elya to link up with Maggie and do whatever the heck they did to Nero to make her such a loyal puppet. She didnt like that idea, and should probably just execute the man instead, but I survived against all odds to put a bullet between your eyes. Joshua said bluntly. Those burn scars youre curious about? You gave em to me. Battle at Jericho Pass. The Titans revealed to me that you were a Devil, who should be removed from Erf and sent straight to Hellabad. That was the first battle of this conflict. Interesting. Yes, I believe I remember you. Tanya said after a moment. There was one pistol-wielding warlord that fell into the chasm after surviving my shockamancy. She was annoyed at the time for losing the pistol. Little did she know that shed have more guns than she knew what to do with at the end of things. She looked back down to the customized pistol. So this is that same pistol? Interesting. You get dollamancer Boss to customize it for you? Or was it Pact? Brutal von Boss was, before the rest of the Empire turned to her, released into the Magic Kingdom to avoid Tanya getting him, although she assumed that was signamantic trickery, and Janis agreed when she brought it up. Joshua seemed a little perturbed at the question. Ah Lord Palpitation did it. Said that my survival was a Sign of my Fate. That Id be the key to your destruction. Tanya blinked. ...If that was the case, why were you not in the ambush at Files? I didnt see you there. ...I was there. Joshua replied, confused. Ive been your prisoner since. Tanya blushed at the mistake. I still didnt see you there. She eventually said, So clearly Fate didnt put you in my way. It was curious, actually. Did he really have a Fate against her? Still, I suppose theres one way to determine if what that signamancer said was true. She said idly. Well, one way that didnt require her to pay a predictamancer a few hundred shmuckers. Huh? Tanya issued an order, and his chains responded, lifting him up by his hands and letting him hang from the ceiling of his cell. Then, she shot him. If Fate needs you for something, this wont croak you. She said seriously. Itd probably hit his cuffs or something. But he slumped, a single hole in his forehead as Analysis no longer considered him a unit. His shackles released him, and the door to the dungeon cell opened up, now unoccupied. Well. Looks like Fate didnt like him. Its for the best. He wasnt turning without more mind control than she was willing to use in cold blood, so dying was the best she could give him. --------------------------- Organizing the side into an Empire of multiple sides under the supreme rule of one was harder than she thought it would be. Apparently, they used a combination of signamancy and carnymancy to pull it off; while the connections between the sides were all signamancy as Janis suggested, the bit where there was one ruler was where the carnymancy came in. After the conquest, they had four total capital sites, and enough cities (when you counted the convenient city sites as well) to make each one have thirteen cities. Needless to say, they had to start ditching some to remove these atrocious diminishing shmucker penalties. Razing some of them would increase their income. Janis, as usual, was very accommodating with her assistance, and a compact was made to organize everything into a four-side Empire. As usual, the terms written out by a master-class signamancer were written very plainly, without the incredibly specificity in terms youd find in an actual legal document. The Constitutional Empire, as Tanya decided to call it, was composed of the sides of: -Yojo Mojo, ruled by Tanya, with Maggie as the heir/Chief Caster. White, who was now level nine, was assigned as Chief Warlord. It was on Scotplays capital site. -Coffeemate, ruled by Visha, with Elya as the heir/Chief Caster. Kurig became Chief Warlord, as he was also level nine. It was built on the closest site to Scotplay, on the far side from where they were attacking. -Grail, ruled by Nero, with no caster and Newsman as Chief Warlord. He was also level nine, and it used the capital that Toadarm failed to take all those turns ago. -Greenpeace, ruled by Sizemore, with Klein as the Chief Caster. Jim Rowe became Chief Warlord, as he seemed to get along very well with Sizemore, albeit he was only level eight. It used Stalling Glade as its capital. The undersigned all agree that Tanyas in charge and to be excellent to one another, peace and good times. Everyones on the same side here, no need to complicate everything. If Tanyas not around, the undersigned also agree to keep the good vibes going on, and to ask themselves What would Tanya do? before doing anything to harsh the collective buzz. That last bit was, apparently, an incredibly complicated bit of signamancy, and Janis was very proud of it. Patterning it off of the dittomancy-thinkamancy that Tanya had created to defend Yojo Mojos outlying cities against Charlie, it bound the contract to Tanyas strings, and if she ever croaked or was otherwise unavailable to consult, a simulation of her, a snapshot that updated every turn she lived, would provide advice on demand. She was unsure whether or not it would work, and Maggie seemed inclined to think it wouldnt persist after Tanyas death, but wasnt quite confident enough in that assessment to discourage Janis from her experiment. With the infinite move of the Arkenshoes, Tanya helped set everything up over ten turns, tuning each city to be well-situated to the sides needs or at least well on their way to doing so. She spent three of those turns emptying every mine in their territory with a moneymancy/dirtamancy link, so the Constitutional Empire had, collectively, about fifty million shmuckers. To the assessment of literally anyone, the four-side alliance was sturdy, ready for anyone and anything to assail it, a power able to fight and win against the strongest sides in the world, much less the shattered sides surrounding them. Which is why, after quietly starting production of a Royal Heir, Tanya felt assured enough to take one last step. She wrote a series of letters, one to each of her many friends here. They were personalized, with only one line the same in each one. As much as this place has treated me well This still isnt Home. Every turn I feel Home fading away from me I cannot wait any longer. Goodbye. ...Theres no place like Japan. Theres no place like sexist, moe-obsessed, xenophobic Japan. Theres no place like home. Pop. Chapter 2.14 Tanya wasnt exactly sure what to expect from traveling dimensions. Shes done it before, of course, but something told her that the Titanic magic of the Arkenshoes would be different than the technically-mortal magic of the Summon Perfect Warlord spell. So when she found herself on a set of train tracks between eye blinks, she yelped and threw herself back up onto the platform, heart pounding in fear. Right on time, too, as the 5:15 to Juuban, the exact train that ensured her previous death after her last day of work, trundled on without even noticing her presence. For an instant, she could see the streaks of blood that would have assuredly splattered the area, but that was clearly a form of self-foolamancy. Findamancy at worst. With the immediate danger passed, she took stock: she still had all of her magic items, surprisingly. Her armor was still here, her wand was still in her hand, the gold bar she had created as a fallback plan in the other, the faint sensations of her Inventory pressing on her skin was still present, and hm. She still had the Arkenshoes. Interesting. Idly stuffing the gold bar down her dress now that the measure was unneeded, Tanya took in the numerous stares she was now receiving. Oddly, everyone was wearing face masks, as if they were sick. It wasnt so unusual to see that kind of thing on a large fraction of the population, but everyone? Strange. Also was it just her, or were the crowds thinner? A police officer approached, and apologized, offering Tanya a face mask. Immediately understanding, Tanya took it, bowed in thanks, and put on the mask, as her memories of Japanese body language screamed at her of the importance of doing so. Im sorry, but Tanya began, looking around. What is todays date? She died in February 2013, she was seven years old when she got the letter, its been some amount of time since then The police officer looked confused, but replied politely. It is July 10th, 2021, Mahou-chan. That sounded about right. Thank you. Tanya said, bowing again before walking out of the train station. Where to go first? --------------------------- Okay, she was definitely not imagining things. The crowds were definitely thinner, and why were there advertisements for the Olympics? Wasnt that supposed to be last year? She ignored the numerous stares, making her current outfit dignified by long practice and sheer force of will. Within ten minutes, she was back at her old office, and noticed a half-second period where no one was looking at her as she went through the door. Taking advantage of the opportunity, she used foolamancy to change her appearance to match her old one, walking up to the (still present, of course) receptionist. Pardon me. She said, her words magically replaced with a deep voice that still spoke softly with a quiet dignity. But would it be possible for me to speak with Daikoku Mizuki-san? Or perhaps Takumi-san? The receptionist seemed distracted, as if she realized that she should recognize Tanyas old face but failed to do so. Nevertheless, she accessed her computer and opened up a text messaging program? Business sure has changed After a moment, with Tanya watching her every move through her eyes, the receptionist truthfully conveyed the information she was given. I apologize, but Takumi-san is busy, and Daikoku-san is working remotely. Tanya looked up. Hm, how many- okay, cant look through enough walls to see him. I would like to schedule an appointment with Takumi-san, please. After a beat, she added: Also, do you happen to know how long Daikoku-san has lived in his current residence? I may be out of date on that knowledge. She did recall that things like timestamps on address changes were in the HR file, but did the receptionist have access to that? Probably not What is the purpose of the appointment? The receptionist asked, idly checking Daikokus file. The address was the same as before, excellent. It is to discuss a former employee. Tanya summarized, Specifically, Deguchiya Tenko. It is a matter of some importance. That should be enough to pique Takumi-sans curiosity. Idly, the receptionist searched for that name, and Tanya knew the exact second that she realized the implications of the request, seeing the illusory face staring back through her suddenly widened eyes, and a marking in the file noting that the employee in question was deceased. She then used her software to communicate with Takumi-sans secretary, using much plainer language than previous. A ghost wants a meeting with Takumi-san. Is he cute? Replied Mizuru-chan, the bubbly office lady that was Takumi-sans secretary for the last twenty years. So big, so handsome. Replied the receptionist. Tanyas felt her cheeks warm at the assessment. Dead for 8 years. Is it Tenko-chan!? Mizuru-chan replied, adding numerous emojis. Yes!!!!! A moment passed with no communication. Send him up. Mizuru-chan replied. To the dojo. He should know where it is. The receptionist gestured to the elevator. Takumi-san will see you now in the dojo. Thank you. Tanya said, walking to the designated area, she had to make pretty wide strides to match a polite pace with her original long legs, but she could always fly if she needed to go faster or got tired. Would she even get tired? Or did the Arkenshoes cover that? All of her magical equipment appeared to work The dojo was a particular meeting room that was built to resemble a traditional martial arts dojo, as several of the higher echelons of the company were massive fans of traditional things like kendo. Her old status as a barely notable kendo practitioner in high school, becoming the losing finalist of the tournament for the greater Tokyo area, had helped her land the job, and there was one time where Takumi had requested her presence to show off some techniques with a real katana in this very room for the entertainment of a client. In hindsight, those few days practicing with live steel in preparation for that demonstration probably saved her life in those first few battles. The iai alone Tanyas old image walked into the room politely, the gazes of the occupants examining the illusion for flaws. Once Tanya was sure that the inspection was complete, she bowed deeply. It is good to see you again, Takumi-san. Takumi-san was seated in seiza, along with some of his direct subordinates and the CFO. I was skeptical when I was told of a dead mans desire to speak with me but here you are, Deguchiya-san. Oddly, even here everyone wore face masks. Before, Tanya always thought that Takumi-san saw her as a reliable subordinate, or maybe a useful asset, bringing a level of physical intimidation to the occasionally thorny processes that occur in Human Resources. But with his heartstring apparent, practically in her fingers she knew that their relationship was a bit more personal. He had genuinely missed her, that is, Tenko. Words failed her. With the awkward silence, the CFO, Sakazuki-san, spoke up: So how is this possible? A dead man before us? His voice was polite, but it was laced with an impatience typical of those used to deference. It is a long story, Sakazuki-san. Tanya said, double-checking the vocal filter in her foolamancy spell. I wished to speak with you to inquire as to the possibility of being rehired, if I determined that to be the best path forward. After all, she still wasnt entirely sure whether or not gold created by moneymancy was sufficiently real to work. Glancing once more at their mutual heartstring, she added: I would also like to say that I am glad to see you in good health. While before, layering an emotional inflection onto a statement like that was something that she was not particularly talented at, now it was easy to say something with just enough awkwardness to properly convey the emotions that stirred within her. She could see that the statement was taken as it was intended. Truly, date-a-mancy was an interpersonal cheat code. You have changed quite a bit. Takumi-san said, immediately identifying the effects of her supernatural social skills. More than you know, Takumi-san. Tanya said calmly. It is nice to be back home, with civilized people. Was saying that leaning into Japans natural xenophobia? Yes. But she didnt want to jump straight to Im using an illusion to look like my old self and Im now a 17-year old gaijin girl. Takumi-san hummed. Well, to answer your inquiry, while the circumstances of your departure were unfortunate, I see no reason to not resume your employment in my department, if you were to apply through normal channels. Tanya smiled, glad of the assurance. Sakazuki-san grunted. Regale us with the tale of how you came to live again. He demanded, albeit still hidden in a veneer of politeness. Well The same way anyone else lives again: through reincarnation. Tanya dropped the illusion, layering a different illusion underneath that made her outfit less flashy. She was instead dressed as an office lady, with a conservative hairstyle. She retained her gaijin coloration and figure, however. Through powerful magic, I was able to cross over back to this world. I used an illusion to show you my old face. If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. There was a murmur of surprise and shock. Takumi-san looked gobsmacked at the difference in appearance. Another world One of the subordinates muttered. Tanyas magical senses picked up a depth of meaning in that word that seemed odd to her. Ano why did you come back? Asked another of the subordinates. Tanya frowned. How rude, butting into the conversation. Almost on automagic, her mouth opened and moved in accordance with her intent: I was happy here. My condolences that you are not. The subordinate flinched at the metaphorical knife in her words. Hm, that was a little bit like a reflexive judo throw, she really shouldnt have done that. Takumi-san hummed, having recovered and giving her a very considering look. His heartstring was still affectionate, but her display of cutthroat etiquette has given him pause. This changes nothing. He declared, If you still wish to work in your previous position, an opening could be made for you. Return when you are ready to begin that process. He stood up, and presented a business card to her. I apologize for not having a card of my own. She said while accepting it, placing it into the illusory purse while really slipping it down her dress and into her Inventory. This was the first place I went after my return. The CFOs eyebrows shot upward. ...You came back from death itself and your first act was to get your job back? He asked incredulously. Tanya huffed in laughter. Do not misunderstand. The office was merely the closest of my many destinations. I arrived exactly where I died. Another of the subordinates held up his phone. Ah, would this be you, then? He asked, playing a video of her arrival, magical girl dress and all. The video was titled Mahou-chan nearly gets hit by train. Other world invasion?. It had twenty thousand views. Tanya sighed, dismissing the illusion and revealing her magical girl outfit. Its a magical outfit. She clarifies, Very protective. Very cute, very comfortable. But a bunch of salarymen wouldnt be able to appreciate that. Comes with a lightsaber. She took out her wand and pointed it to the side, activating the energy blade. The collected men were naturally very impressed with the lightsaber, and she hopped backward to show off a few moves, albeit different ones than before. She used foolamancy to pretend to unleash the flying slash spell, to enthusiastic applause. Thank you, thank you. Yes, I can do that for real if I need to, but I decided to spare the wall. Yes, best not. Said Sakazuki-san, much more relaxed. Tanya took out her cleaning wand and waved it at the cut-up post she had destroyed on request. No trouble. She said in English, the command for that particular wand. The debris vanished, as was proper. This magic trick also provoked some impressed noises from the collected men. ...Where does it go? Asked one of the subordinates. Tanya shrugged. Im not that kind of caster. I wave the wand and it cleans things. To demonstrate, she waved it at him. No trouble. As it was relatively late in the day, the salaryman had clearly been dirty enough with sweat, if nothing else, that he startled and patted his body in wonder as he felt cleaner than he likely felt even after a bath. He was even testing his teeth with his tongue, much like Tanya did after her first experience with cleansing. Thats amazing. He said, breathing onto his hand and sniffing. Tanya stuffed both wands back down her dress, leaving another stupid man to ask: How much do you have in there? A lot. Tanya replied, infusing the words with enough annoyed hostility that no one questioned her further. The dress in question normally had pockets, but when transformed with the crown, she had to use the sleeves, skirt, and her cleavage in order to access the Inventory. Weapons, tools, money, a few emergency items, the usual. Still, the conversation wound down after a few more questions, and she excused herself to leave. Now, she has a friend to track down. --------------------------- Mizuki lived in Shibuya, Jingumae specifically. It was one of the nicer areas of Tokyo, and he lived there since college, which was entirely because his parents own his complex and he gets to live there rent-free. One couldnt really use Date-a-mancy in order to track people down. The links between people didnt correspond to physical space, so she had to rely on the usual method of navigating to a friends apartment: by already knowing where it is. She could still fly, quite quickly even, but there was a certain level of weight to her motions that wasnt there before, which made her hesitant to accelerate too quickly. Which physical laws were different in a way she didnt notice before? Inertia? Fortunately, no one seemed to notice her through her foolamancy veil, disguising herself as a bird that flew over the skyscrapers. Still, Shibuya was still in Tokyo, so as the crow flies, it wasnt a very long trip at all. She landed on his balcony, needing to begin her deceleration far sooner than normal. Changing out her illusion for her old face, Tanya knocked on his balcony door, making her illusion crouch so the face could be seen. Mizuki was never the most respectable of Tanyas friends, his diligence was charitably described as average, and he was usually the one encouraging her to make bad decisions in college but he was also the one to teach her of the importance of networking over measurable KPIs, and Tanya owed the man quite a bit for her relatively meteoric rise in the company as a result of that. Mizuki had, of course, aged in the eight years since her death: He looked at the image of a dead man with a disbelieving expression, but opened it up. ...Tenko? Didnt you die? Tanya smiled sadly. I did, Im afraid. May I come in? From the pulses of concern and the set of his brow, Mizuki understood that this was a serious situation. Oh yeah, sure. Make yourself at home. He said, You can use the guest room if you need it. Because yes, this apartment was upscale enough for him to have one of those. Tanya always assumed that it was because his parents wanted him to marry and have a child to use that room. Ill be taking you up on that offer, I believe. Tanya said politely, I returned only a few hours ago, and still have no money. She did, however, have a magical changemancy tent that opened up into a rather fancy bedroom. I getcha. You had your own Other World adventure, and now youve killed the Demon King or whatever, and now youre back. What the hellabad was he talking about? You can take the mask off, Im not worried about Covid. Yes, about that. Tanya said, What is covid? Is that why everyones wearing masks? Come to think of it, she probably could have learned of this by looking around at signs at the train station, but now was good enough. Yep. Mizuki said, nodding firmly. Early last year a big pandemic came out of China. Caused by bat-eating or something like that. Very contagious, pretty bad on lethality. My grandpa died from it. Mizukis grandfather was around eighty, so that wasnt a huge surprise, but it was a bit of one. Offical name is Covid-19, but theres tons of names out there. Hm. Good to know. Tanya said softly, thinking on the matter. Did she seriously forget to get an anti poison wand? The actual damage from poison, even for incapacitation, would be curable by her healomancy wand, which would help, but What an oversight. Disease didnt really exist there, near as she could tell Now, knowing you, this wont be much of an issue, but I should warn you: I only look like this because Im creating an illusion of my old appearance. I look quite different after my reincarnation. Oh, are you a cute girl now? Mizuki asked, grinning at the idea. I think Ive seen this anime before. No you definitely have not! Tanya said, immediately understanding the romantic context of the statement. She dismissed the illusion, allowing her friend to see her admittedly quite beautiful appearance. Mizukis eyes roamed over every detail. It was vaguely disgusting. I should have known that magical girl sighting was you! He said, even more excited. It was at the exact spot you died, after all! Tanya huffed. Well, if its all very much the same to you, Ill be taking over your guest room now. I need to see if I lost anything from my Inventory in the transition. She withdrew her backup melee weapon from her skirt, the +3 katana that she had used in her first few battles. Still have this at least She mused, drawing the blade as she walked to the room. Mizukis loud, fearful swallow was quite satisfying. --------------------------- It appeared that everything had survived the transition, although whether or not the change in physical laws affected them unclear. All thirty non-artifact wands were fully charged from her juice, and her juice was refilled from her artifact wands reserves. The few gems she kept, about a millions worth, still looked more like glass facsimiles of gemstones instead of anything genuine, and the gold she created still looked real enough. Her other dresses and her one non-dress outfit were put into the closet. Her other magic items still seemed to function, which was good news: There werent that many, merely the mile-high club shoes, the flying carpet, her regenerating notepad, the portable tent, and the backup sword. Her wands covered most situations in which an empress would want a magic item. Well, she didnt test the tent due to lack of space, but the carpet worked fine, so changemancy items function, and the Dress With Pockets, which was the odd name for her favorite utility dress which also used Hat Magic, worked fine, so she saw no reason for the portable tent to have any issues. With her inventory fully emptied, the last miscellaneous pile of items: her guns and ammo, a few no-longer-relevant notes, and a few knick-knacks that she put into her Inventory and promptly forgot about, were swept into a corner of the room and she relaxed onto the bed, now wearing the sleeping kimono she had Ace make when he was still alive. Hey, youre hungry right? Mizuki asked, I ordered us some ramen, your favorites still beef, right? Ah. Great. Tanya got up, ran her hands through her now completely-undone hair, and gestured for him to lead the way with a smile, because it was more polite than asking him to step aside. Once they were settled at the table, a traditional one with cushions instead of chairs, the conversation renewed. So what was it like? Other Worlding? Tanya frowned. Okay, clearly Other World has picked up some extra meaning since I was last alive. What do you mean? Oh, right! Mizuki said, softly slapping his fist onto his palm in recognition. Yeah, like half of all popular anime nowadays are Other World stories. Yknow, get hit by a truck or get mugged or die of overwork or something and wake up in another world, or get summoned by a ruler, or something like that. Magic, monsters, pretty elves, demon king, stuff like that. ...So youre telling me all I need to do is tell people that I was sent to another world after I died and everyone will make tons of assumptions? She asked, eyes twitching. Yep. Mizuki said confidently. So what was it like? He reiterated. ...Well, first I got into this argument with this idiotic asshole of a God, then I woke up as a baby in pre-WWI Germany. Tanya began, Then when I was 7 I got summoned into a second alternate world to fight a grand army. Ooh, a twofer. Mizuki commented, completely believing her. What would the title be? I reincarnated as a little girl but then got summoned to be a hero? He asked, tasting the light novel title. No, summoned to be the Demon Queen. That sounds better. More accurate, too. Tanya said dryly. Overlord Stanley was definitely the Demon King in that battle. At least I got to ride a dragon, even if it looked vaguely ridiculous. Cool! He exclaimed, 100% believing whatever she said. Should she start making things up? Tempting Howd you win? He asked. I didnt. Tanya said, still a little disappointed in herself. Her plan was good! It just didnt work due to factors beyond her control. How to phrase the resulting Ah. I pretended to be a kidnapped princess and was put into an administrative position in the resulting occupational government, eventually becoming the governor. Mizuki laughed. Yeah, thats a Tenko plan if I ever heard one. Unconventional but completely successful. Tanya blushed. Well, it wasnt often that one needed to cover ones trail quite so thoroughly That wasnt even what happened After a few more moments of companionable silence as they ate the ramen, Tanya continued her story: After a few months of that, my side got caught up in another grand coalition to defeat another heavily fortified position which promptly got everyone involved killed. I gathered as many resources as possible and fled to where I eventually found the ancient magic that allowed me to return. Wow, you ran for eight years? Rough, even if it turned out to be twice as fast. Mizuki commented. Tanya slurped up the last of her noodles. No, I just got some aging magic- Signamancy was still magic, after all. -that let me skip nine years of growing up. The whole thing probably took a year. Maybe a bit more, but definitely less than two. She shrugged. From a certain point of view, Im still eight years old. She started drinking the rest of her ramens soup. Once finished, she added: But Im also 40 from another point of view, so I dont care. Mizuki did some mental math. Ah, so its a one-to-one time exchange. Neat. Tanya nodded in agreement. So, whats new in your life? Tanya asked, Same apartment, it looks pretty much the same as eight years ago Please tell me you at least got a promotion in that timespan She was cheating, she knew he got one. Mizuki laughed. Well, for six of those years I had this girlfriend They spent hours catching up before Tanya turned in for the night. She had a big day tomorrow. After all, tomorrow she goes to visit her parents. Chapter 2.15 Come the morning, Tanya noticed when dawn broke immediately. One of the side-effects of living in a turn-based world for so long, she supposed. She then promptly fell back asleep. She wasnt a Ruler anymore. Then she woke up startled, as her mental Rand counter ticked down by one. ...The turns begun. She said, thinking for a moment. ...Im still the ruler of Yojo Mojo. Maggie didnt take over. While she could no longer sense any of her units, by paying attention she could still sense quite a bit of her rulers senses. The Treasury, of course, but also her citys production queues. I promote Maggie Matcher, heir designate, to Acting Ruler. She quickly delegated as much power as possible to Maggie, and the empty production queues immediately filled. She could do pretty much anything now that didnt absolutely require a rulers physical presence, which was pretty much just moving the capital to a different capital site. Shortly thereafter, the heartstrings that still connected her to Erf strummed with power. From experience, she knew that this was assuredly Maggie linked up with a date-a-mancer, and from the multi-threaded message, it was likely Janis. The message didnt, strictly speaking, have words, but she felt them nonetheless. [Question]. It meant: Why leave? It was impossible to lie over this channel, so she didnt. [Unimpressed]. They know why she left, she wrote it all down. [Concern]. They are asking about her health, of course. [Assurance] She encountered no problems that she did not expect to encounter. Except for that one with the train, but she handled that fine. [Status] They were requesting a more thorough explanation of how shes doing over here. [Optimal] She had everything she left with, and her upkeep triggered just fine. While it was impossible for any one kind of caster to subsist on their own juice, she could use her potato wand, the furniture wand, the ammo wand, or even simply using the cooking or fermentation wands on normal food to make enough ration value to cover her whole upkeep, then use moneymancy to convert it into shmuckers. This used approximately three caster levels of juice, solely because of her immense upkeep: she had 2340 upkeep as a level ten, a truly immense quantity. She had twenty of them to work with every turn from her wand doubling her reserve. In fact [Proposal] She could add a reasonably large amount of shmucker income to the treasury from here, if they were concerned about wasting shmuckers on her upkeep. [Rejection] Ah, yeah. Maggie was right, from a strictly strategic point of view, making shmuckers was one of the least effective things she could be using her juice for. Shell still do it, spending her spare juice in the morning between Dawn and the turn beginning [Rejection] But they are not coming back. Shell live far longer in a modern world, where war is far away. It was a solution that favored both her and Charlie, which was nice. [Message] And they could tell him that, or she might consider returning to make him regret acting against her precious subordinates. Her friends. The connection faded. It was presumably quite expensive to send a message across dimensional boundaries, or they simply deemed further attempts futile. Either way, Tanya expected that shell probably have to deal with this more tomorrow. Wait, she just admitted that she was perfectly capable of returning. While lying was impossible, she still shouldnt have revealed that. Glancing towards the door, where the Arkenshoes resided, Tanya cursed herself. Well, it was time for breakfast. She had expected Mizuki to still be asleep at this time of the morning, unless he had to go into the office, but he had both woken up, cleaned himself up, and prepared a serviceable bachelors breakfast sourced primarily from the convenience store. It irritated Tanya to see her friend treat her as a newly met guest to be impressed instead of as a longstanding friend, but it has been a few years, maybe that girlfriend whipped more manners into him than he had implied. It also irritated her to not be treated as the royalty she was, but that particular emotion was much easier to ignore. So what are you going to do today? Mizuki asked. I have quite a bit I still need to do in order to integrate back into this world. Tanya said offhandedly between bites of rice. I did bring some gold, converting it into usable currency is one thing Ill be doing. Mizuki nodded seriously. Gold, of course. If you were in a fantasy world, you should have had access to tons of it. ...Lets go with that. Tanya said after a moment to think about it. Im a bit worried about purity and usability, As well as how well shmuckers converts into yen through this medium, But if I can find a place that will reliably give me a good price for sketchy gold, that should give me a substantial nest egg. And income, if she can keep the fact that she can make some quantity of gold from the ether secret, but if the conversion rate was bad enough she may need to get her old job back. Cant help you. Mizuki said ruefully. I think pawn shops buy random gold? Never seen one. He took out his smartphone and did a quick search. ...Theres apparently ten of them within a kilometer. Given urban density as well as the typical size of a Tokyo business front limiting customer throughput, this is not even remotely a surprise. It would take a rather niche retail business to require extensive travel in Tokyo. Ill need to purchase a new phone too. Tanya added, Even in the unlikely event that my old one survived my demise, it would be rather obsolete by now. Ill buy it for you on my plan. Mizuki volunteered, giving her an Im so reliable thumbs up and smile. Getting a smartphone without an ID is rough, so itll just be in my name. Ive done this before. For his ex-girlfriend, presumably. Internally wincing at his awkward pseudo-flirtation, Tanya smiled brightly. Despite his imagining of the situation, hes still being helpful and polite, so shell leave it be for now. Not for the first time, Tanya rues the day that she learned date-a-mancy. It means she can no longer miss subtle cues such as this. --------------------------- Fortunately, smart phones didnt change quite enough for Tanya to get confused at the new models; she was fairly certain there were features she was underutilizing, but she can use the internet to more thoroughly explore that at a later time. I missed this. Tanya said with a sigh of satisfaction, deftly using her thumb to navigate the internet. I didnt get a chance to try out the AI assistant before I died, Because she had a personal disdain for the business practices of Apple, and their competitors had yet to catch up when she died, -but its quite nice. Whats more, her recharge accessory wand was able to recharge the battery! At a pittance of juice, too. Fortunately, her email account was still extant, and she was busy re-activating her internet presence. Okay, lets try this place. Mizuki said, leading her into the third pawn shop they tried. As most were, the layout was crowded and the shelves were filled with various second-hand items that were either sold for spare money or repossessed from a bad loan. Tanyas first impression of the shopkeeper was Yakuza. It was the same intuition that had helped her so much when entreating with other sides, but when she focused on him, she could tell that this man was feared by many people, but at the same time his strongest connection was that of loyalty, of fealty. The Oyabun, she assumed. Now this was someone she could deal with. She strode up boldly, barely missing Mizuki, and stared straight into the mans intense gaze with equal violence. You ask questions? She asked first. The man was intrigued, to the point that a weak heartstring connected them immediately. He saw her as an individual already. No. The Yakuza said firmly. Then Im selling gold. She put the singular bar, about half a kilogram, on the counter. Check the purity. Its supposed to be pure, but I dont believe that. Her eyes narrowed, Ill know if you lie. The Yakuza assessed her. She was dressed in her least elaborate duds (which was the dollamancy term for non-magical raiment), a cream-colored dress with only three layers and quite suitable for the summer heat. She still wore her tiara and earrings, so she could activate her armor at any time, but she was otherwise solely armed with her wand, strapped (magically) to her thigh and a little tricky to reach quickly. ButIf you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. [Thug] Combat: 0 (unarmed) Defense: 3 Hits: 9 [Tanya] Combat: 29 (unarmed) Defense: 33 Hits: 20 She wasnt particularly concerned about battle, even bereft of most of her bonuses. She might be a bit concerned without her tiara, as it doubled her leadership even without activating the armor, but it was sufficient when combined with the passive bonus of Attuned that as long as guns stayed stowed she wasnt threatened. Satisfied with whatever he saw in her, the Yakuza took the small bar of gold and went to his scale, where he weighed it, and then he scratched it, dropping a chemical of some kind on it. After comparing the results to a small booklet he had by the scale, he came back. It is fifty percent gold. He said, which matched exactly to the percentage of shmuckers she loaded it with compared to how much it could hold. It is a good time to be selling gold, customer-san. Prices have spiked to all-time high, it is understandable that you wish to offload it before the price drops back down. Tanya nodded firmly. That wasnt why she was doing it, but it made a fine excuse. Market price for a quarter of a kilogram of gold would be one and a half million yen. Whats your offer? Mizuki choked at the quantity, but Tanya was internally wincing. Each kilogram of gold could hold one hundred thousand shmuckers, which meant that ingot had twenty-five thousand. This was not a favorable exchange rate for her, even if it meant that she could produce one of these every other day without much issue. Typically, customer-san, we would pay as much as ninety percent of value for an ingot of pure gold. It would be an easy turnaround. The shopkeeper said, buttering her up. Note to self: max it out next time. But for such an impure sample, we will have to go down on that. Further, as gold is currently inflated to such a high price, the boss has said that we will not be paying that much. The unfailingly polite Yakuzas expression twisted slightly, as he crossed his arms, showing off his thick arm muscles, as well as his elaborate tattoo of turtleshell hexagons along his arms. We will only be paying seven hundred fifty thousand yen for your gold. Seventy-five Ten thousand sounded so much better in Japanese Thats robbery! Mizuki said, panicking. Lets find someone who will give us a better deal. Tanya shrugged. Fine. She said, shooing away the small brick of gold. Ill take it in cash. She took out a second brick. For both. After testing the new brick and finding it exactly as pure as the last, Tanya was given one hundred and fifty crisp, clean ten thousand yen bills, which were assuredly either counterfeit or merely stolen/extorted. Given the condition, she was leaning towards the former. But if it was, it was a sufficiently high-quality fake that she couldnt tell the difference, though, so it might just be proceeds from crime He ripped you off, Tenko. Mizuki said after they had moved a safe distance. Tanya shrugged again. I dont care. She said bluntly. I can afford to pay a premium on a quick conversion now. She slipped him fifteen of the bills. For the phone. It was a rather expensive model, and it could also cover any other expenses. Their next step was a trip to the bank, where Mizuki once more set up a new bank account in his name with her funds. One hundred thousand was kept in cash, and converted into smaller denominations. Her story that she had gotten the money by selling jewelry to a pawn shop with the heavy implication that Mizuki was helping her run away from an abusive husband was accepted by the tellers, as Tanya was still wearing some jewelry, and thus it could be assumed she had access to more. To sell it, she used foolamancy to hide her tiara and add a diamond necklace along with some rings. Was it stereotypical that she took her new bank card and dragged Mizuki to go shopping for some necessities, and by that she meant more clothes and some accessories? Yes. But her closet only had fancy dresses, and she needed more casual clothing, as even her least elaborate dress drew inquiries from the saleswomen on who designed it, as it screamed high-fashion. She didnt have the heart to tell them that the one who did so was an amoral weapons designer who only made duds under protest. Further, she needed at least one purse to hold her wallet, which holds her bank card. She bought three matching pairs, but that was just so she wouldnt have any serious clashes with her outfits. She may have gone a bit overboard with her money. Man, Tenko. Mizuki said, panting with her bags placed on the ground while he rested. They had stopped by a shaved ice stand and Tanya was enjoying her sweet treat while Mizuki let his melt. You became a real girl, huh? Tanya tilted her head. ...I suppose I did. She acknowledged. Being a princess, then queen, then empress...it changes you. Granted, signamancy meant that what she thought of as princess-y was just as important as things that were actually emblematic of being one, and she shifted her own preferences in that direction purely by thinking of herself as a princess in a difficult-to-shake feedback loop. Its not a bad thing. Clinging to what Ive lost is unproductive, and Im making the best of things. Yeah, being a magical girl is pretty cool. Mizuki admitted. If you gotta turn into a girl, at least youre a powerful one. Exactly. Tanya said brightly. I knew youd understand. -and its not like youve ever been interested in a girlfriend anyway, Mizuki continued, which led Tanya to frown. She totally wanted to get one at some point -despite having your pick of the office ladies, so maybe youll have better luck finding a boy you like instead. I did not have my pick of the office ladies. Tanya objected. You really did, dude. Mizuki said, chuckling. They were falling over each other making you bentos and getting you coffee. It was hilarious to watch. ...I thought they were just trying to placate me. Tanya said quietly. I wasnt unaware of my reputation. Of being the scary guy who the bosses sic on bad workers? Mizuki asked ruefully. Yeah, you were. But you were also the guy who always listened when the girls complained about sexual harassment, and took their side more often than not. They took your death hard. Mizuki worked in accounting, specifically handling invoices. It was not a job with a consistent workload, so he tended to have a good handle on the offices pulse. It was an advantage that Tanya had exploited in her meteoric rise. I didnt even know about that stuff until after you were gone, man. Tanya blushed. Well, those kinds of HR discussions arent to be discussed. She protested, Sure, everyone notices when someone gets fired, but that wasnt anywhere near my full workload. Maybe one-fifth of it. As a generous estimate. Heck, she would sooner describe her job as preventing people from getting fired, as it is the last resort. Well, lets go back to my place. Mizuki said, standing back up and grabbing her shopping bags. Well drop this off, then I need to do some actual work. Thank you for your help. Tanya said sincerely. But I do need to go home, tell my parents the news. Yeah, cant help you there. Good luck! Its time. --------------------------- Tanya may have lived and worked in Tokyo, but she didnt grow up there. No, instead she grew up in Yokohama, a relatively short distance to the south, easily within her ability to visit. It was rather regrettable that she didnt do so more often... But with the Arkenshoes accelerating her flight, it was a quick trip. Uneventful too, unless one counted picking up the senses of a radar operator via the foolamancy senses she was focusing on. Fortunately, they didnt seem to care enough to draw the attention of anyone else to his screen, so she figured that her small size made her be mistaken for one of those little helicopter drones that she had been seeing. It helped that she was creating an illusion of just such a drone. Still, she twisted into true invisibility a few hundred meters away from her destination, in an instant where she was unobserved. It was more expensive, juice-wise, but it meant that when she appeared in an unobserved section of the street no one was filming her in secret. Cloaked in an illusion of her old face, Tanya took a moment to look over her childhood home. It was a proper one-family house, built on a plot of land inherited by her samurai great-great grandfather; the original structure was destroyed by a stray bomb during WWII. Her grandfather kept the land, building the house with his own two hands, the materials and some help from experts paid for by Fathers modest but sufficient income as a college-educated salaryman in the 70s. At least, that was the story she was told by Grandfather, a proud old man who sought to occupy a child with stories of honor and glory rooted in economic success rather than skill at arms. A man who sought to teach kendo not as an art of war, but instead as a method to build a strong, confident student who could seize his future with his own two hands. Even without exceptional enough performance on her part to go professional, he managed at least that much. She wonders if the old man was still alive The house didnt have a perimeter fence or wall like some larger properties might, but it did have an exquisite garden, Mothers pride and joy. It was good to see it in good health, it said good things about how well her parents have lived even after the vagaries of life removed their only son from them. At this time of year, the soybeans were, as she expected, growing nicely, surrounded by much prettier decorative plants. The homemade tofu and natto, only eaten for a short time each year due to the small plot, were fond memories, something that occasionally popped for her meals back when she was a barbarian, but rarely when she was a ruler. The quality of the ingredients was much grander, but those fine foods lacked the nostalgia factor of the imperfect, homegrown beans. Ah, she was crying, tears flowing without restraint. That realization, that she had not noticed a critical detail, shattered her active foolamancy and wasted the juice used to conjure it. She was, sadly, not yet a master-class foolamancer (not a master-class anything, bluntly), and thus could not salvage the spell in the face of having to once more re-center herself and Look at the world around her. Unfortunately, before she could do so, a familiar face came out from the house, and immediately noticed the crying girl that was staring at her garden. Mother was only half-Japanese, her own mother having escaped as a young child from a Soviet gulag, although Tanya never learned the details. She had long hair, originally dark blonde but now a lighter shade as age whitened the strands. Oh my, come here, girl. Mother said, setting down her gardening tools and walking confidently towards Tanya. As she couldnt seem to move her legs, and gravity decided to be unusually insistent, Tanya remained rooted to the spot as her tears were dried by the rag that was assuredly meant to soak sweat instead. She opened her mouth to say something, but any noise died in her throat. There, thats better. Mother said, Come on girl, come sit with Grandma and tell her your troubles. The old woman led Tanya to the porch, where the discarded gardening tools were, and sat down. Come on, youll feel better. Taking a deep breath, Tanya sat down, sniffling as she acknowledged the one thing any foolamancer must: this was real. She was here. Even by flexing that mental muscle, the one that shattered illusions before her as she attempted a spot check, nothing changed. But still, she could not find the nerve to speak. Ill get you some tea. Mother said, standing back up and walking to the kitchen. Coffee, please. Tanya said before she cringed at her rudeness. I mean- Its alright, dear. Mother said, Grandmas got some coffee. My husband loves the stuff. It was where she learned she liked it. Id tell you it would stunt your growth, but my son drank it since he was twelve and he was one of the tallest youd ever see. He always had this little historical quote he liked to say about the perfect cup, you know. Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love. Tanya recited, surprised at her own sudden recollection of something forgotten. It lost a bit in translation, and it was contradictory enough that it didnt really say anything, but she had read it in a book dramatizing Napoleonic-era politics back in high school, just as a hobby read, and it was poetic enough, after she modified the wording to flow better in Japanese, that it reciting it while preparing her coffee was probably the closest she ever got to prayer. Mother paused. ...thats right. She said, a sense of wonder as she heard the words. He always said it exactly like that. She looked at Tanya more intensely, trying to see something that she did not find. Where did you hear it? Years ago, from my own lips. Tanya near-whispered. Before I died. ...Tenko? Mother asked. This time, Tanya could find the will to move. She didnt want this hug to end Chapter 2.16 One of her biggest worries about coming back home was to be seen as a madman, for no one to believe that she was who she used to be. The Arkenshoes presence on her feet helped a lot to calm her nerves, as it was a constant reminder that she did have the power to return to Erf if she wanted to. After having experienced the transition, she was reasonably confident that she could use date-a-mancy to control her destination, to a point. Enough that she could travel back and forth freely, if she so desired. At least, unless the shoes decided they didnt like that and abandoned her. Given the amount of time that had passed between Judy Gales exit and the fact that she was an aged heroin addict, Tanya thought it possible that the shoes had followed the previous perfect warlady and only vanished back into the pop tables after the womans death. But that concern was for later. The sixty-three year old woman had broken the embrace, set Tanya down at the table, and went to prepare that coffee. As Tanya waited, the sliding door deeper into the house opened up, and a man stooped with age shuffled into the room and sat down as well. Hello, Grandfather. Tanya said respectfully, bowing. As the particular word she had used was not an unusual word used to address unrelated elderly men, her grandfather did not take offense, even if it was the same word she used to use. Grandfather was a man of stiff formality, as was his son, her father. He did not accept being addressed as Gramps. Well, shes not going to deny that she also used to be a person of stiff formality, and while becoming royalty and a girl had relaxed it somewhat, she still preferred to match the level of formality to how she was addressed, or, even better, one step more or less formal than they were, depending on social status. Which nowadays always went in the informal direction. Hm. Grandfather snorted, clearly in a bad mood. Who are you, brat? Have you been tested? Honestly, inviting strange girls during a pandemic Tanya was a little surprised at his brusqueness, but she supposed it was technically possible that she had picked it up in the last two days. He wouldnt know that, either. Wait a second There was one wand that might be applicable towards disease The sole croakamancy wand, sterilize. She mostly used it to get rid of bad smells, but the purpose of the spell was to slow the decay of claimed bodies, which was sometimes useful for moneymancy or when you had carnivorous beast units. It might be able to kill microorganisms like viruses But shell figure that out later. Ah, my name is now Degurechaff Tanya, Grandfather. If he noticed her odd phrasing, Grandfather didnt react to it. You know how to garden? He asked, gesturing to the still-open door outside, where Mothers beautiful garden was. I would love nothing more than to assist with your garden, Grandfather. Tanya said politely, beaming. It is quite beautiful. Grandfather looked away, bashful at the compliment. His heartstring was laced with minor guilt, the kind that came from inadvertently taking someone elses credit. Mother came back, with a tray that held a steaming cup of coffee and two cups of tea. Here you are, Tenko. She sat down and smiled at her father-in-law. Did she tell you? She asked. Grandfathers eyes narrowed in suspicion. If you mean why you just called her by the boys name no. She said her name was Tanya. I said my name was now Tanya. She corrected, But it used to be Tenko, before I died. Eight years ago. She sipped at the coffee. ...It tastes just like I remember it. She said, a tear falling down her face. You dont look eight. Grandfather said in an accusing tone. Magic. Tanya said in explanation, creating a few foolamancy sparkles with a twiddle of her fingers. Act older, grow older. Technically a true thing in signamancy, although it didnt usually apply in this specific manner. If you say youre a duck, and quack like a duck, and walk like a duck you start becoming a duck. Such an extreme change required intervention from an actual signamancer, but it did technically work, as demonstrated by Chief Shockamancer Donald of Thiskey. Janis explained it when she inquired about the possibility of turning into a man: Technically she could do it, but it would be a lot of work, shed be miserable during the transition, it would be very expensive, and she was already happy with what she had, so why bother? This was an extremely cogent point and Tanya agreed that she really didnt want to do it. Now, though? Maybe she should have Katsuhito Mother said with an edge of danger. She always was terrifying when she got angered. I believe her. This is my Tenko. She turned back to Tanya, menace vanishing. So, you have to tell me how youve been doing! That dress looks quite expensive. Should I be calling you Princess Tanya now? She teased. Tanya coughed nervously. Ah, the correct honorific would actually be Empress. She had never thought that shed ever need to even say kotei as an honorific before, much less have it refer to herself. But if they were going to bring out hime, she might as well be honest. She drank more of the coffee. With a brief glance to the kitchen, she used Recon to peer through the wall and note that the coffee maker was a modern one that appeared to make single cups at a time. It didnt look new, per se, but they didnt have it the last time she was here. You dont need to call me that though. Mother was extremely pleased at the admission, but looked at Tanya suspiciously. I hope you arent just running away from the job, Tenko. I left them in a stable position, and appointed a Regent. Tanya explained, waving her arms placatingly. Furthermore, the method I used to travel dimensions should be two-way. Her eyes flicked to the Arkenshoes, waiting on the porch. Still there. Honestly, it did explain why Fate didnt stop her from going, somehow. She expected some kind of resistance, but it knows her too well. All it needed to do to ensure her eventual return was to leave the option available. Good. Mother said, still serious. Your responsibilities are important, people are counting on you. All leaders should know this. How big is your Empire? Grandfather asked, curious. Big by local standards. Powerful, too. Tanya answered vaguely, But things are weird over there. Strange laws of physics. Well, I hope gardening still works. Mother joked as she stood up slowly. I still need to tend to it. It works differently, Im afraid. Tanya said as she stood up to help. Okay, so the key point is that the whole world has more in common with a turn-based strategy game than a sensible reality. Its very artificial. You can actually make gardens, but all youre actually doing is making it easier to harvest a hexs forage Tanya could tell that Mother eventually stopped actually listening to what she was saying, merely nodding and making polite noises as Tanya rambled about her new world, no different from when she was a boy and talked about Civilization. But she was smiling as she did it, so Tanya kept talking all throughout the tending to the garden. After the work was done, Mother stood up and, wiping the sweat from her brow, moved back into the house. Ah, hang on. Tanya said, taking out her cleaning wand. She waved it at both of them, removing the built up grime. ...While Im at it. She muttered, taking out one of her more esoteric dirtamancy wands, infusing additional nutrients and potential for growth in the gardens soil. NPK. On Erf, this would increase the ration yield of a hex, but only up to a cap, depleting the juice put into it over time. It was generally not worth doing, as it was less efficient than both city improvements and getting a florist to grow you new plants. She didnt actually know how barren this soil was, but the juices battery got emptied, so it did something. The wand had other functions, it was a generic make hex improvement spell that was versatile enough that you needed to study dirtamancy a bit to use the bloody thing effectively. The advantages of having a master-class caster able and willing to put his full effort behind the creation of a wand. That should increase your yields. She said, putting both wands away. Well, the yields of every garden in the area. How big of an area? Grandfather asked, much less hostile than he was before she had joined Mother in the gardening. How much yield? Tanya shrugged. I never really calculated exactly how big a hex is. It always seemed to change on me, honestly. They always seemed so much smaller when there was fighting going on At least the neighborhood, maybe the whole ward? Sizemore would be able to actually answer the question. The wands let me use magic I dont understand fully, so I dont know. I just willed it to fertilize the soil and it did. Wait. Actually Atterberg. Tanya intoned as she cast Mathamancy. Would it work? It did! But I can use magic to calculate the effect, and it should improve your soybean yield by thirty percent, allow the rest of the garden to add an additional eight percent mass, and every seven hundred meters will halve the potency. She had never had a mathamancy spell eat up two whole caster levels of juice like that though. That was an expensive calculation. This was appropriate, as she had very little understanding of soil analysis. The magic had to do pretty much everything there. The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings. Hm. Not bad. Grandfather said, looking at the garden. What else do you have in there? He asked, gesturing to her dress. Well, theres this. Tanya said, lifting up her skirt halfway and pulling out the katana. Its my backup sword. Have a look. With a speed that belied his age, Grandfather had gone into his room, come back with a kit, and started a professional inspection of the blade. Hm, unusual makers mark, but its a fine blade, easily something that would come from the hands of one of the great swordsmiths. He looked up at her. It shines like new. Its less than ten years old. Tanya informed him. She wasnt really given a concrete timeframe for when Stanley toppled Faq, but less than three thousand turns sounds about right, and it was completed shortly before that. Its also been magically repaired and cleaned every morning for that entire duration. Well, that wasnt quite true, but close enough. Do you know who forged it? He asked, curious. Tanya shrugged. Not really, I only came into possession of it about a year ago. She thought for a moment. Im sure Janis would know. To be more precise, she could cast Signamancy on the makers mark to find out. If you want one of your own, I should warn you that its all made with magic. No actual smithing is involved. Or mining, for that matter. Unless it were paid for with mined gems, she supposed. Grandfather lost interest. Bah, mass-produced junk then. Its still artisanal work. Tanya corrected, Its just the methods arent the traditional ones, and I know you care about that. One of my subordinates had commissioned it for his lady love, who was a warrior of some renown. Tanya coughed. He just never had the chance to deliver it. The man wasnt very emotional, of course, but he did seem to no longer treat the sword with disdain. He sheathed it once more and returned it. You said youve used it? For a while. Tanya confirmed. She didnt quite remember exactly how many turns it was (One? Two? Probably not three.), but she did use it. She brought out her primary wand. I eventually replaced it with this, though. She pointed it to the side and activated the lightsaber. Much more effective. She added before turning it off. Mother laughed at the lightsaber. It even makes the sound! She said, eyes twinkling with mirth. How hard was it to get someone to make it do that? Believe it or not, I didnt commission this. Tanya said, and already knew that they did not believe her. The magic just does that. I even learned to make them with my fingers, watch. She focused, holding out two fingers, and said the magic words for the spell: Kantoo, Huyang, Smoot. With the exact same sound effect, a blade of kinetic energy sprouted from her extended fingers. Two seconds later, she cut the juice. So what have I missed? The next several hours were passed like that, with Tanya swapping stories about her battles in exchange for what amounted to petty gossip about people she had long forgotten about, if she had ever learned of them in the first place. But it was still a conversation with family, and that was something she had long missed, even before she died. Im home! Shouted another familiar voice. Tanya perked up. Oh dear, I didnt get dinner started. Mother said, disappointed in herself. Ill help. Tanya insisted, taking out her cooking wand. Just take out the ingredients and Ill do the rest. Father entered the room, noticeably more aged than before, but still standing tall, like she used to. The sixty four year old mans hair had a few gray hairs before, but now was about halfway to fully turning white. Whats going on? He asked, gentler than Tanya remembered him. Oh. Hello, young lady. Nobuyuki, this young lady is Tenkos reincarnation! Mother said proudly, which, as it did for Grandfather, caused Father to look at Tanya in suspicion. She approved. It seems genuine. Grandfather pronounced. Now, how about that dinner you volunteered for? He added, directing it at Tanya. Yes. Come on, Mother. Tanya said, ushering the woman into the kitchen with her. While she was theoretically capable of hearing Father and Grandfathers conversation, she tuned it out in favor of focusing on the events in the kitchen. Using Recon still required focus to use, after all. The cooking wand was an interesting bit of changemancy. Similar to the dirtamancy wand she used on the garden, it wasnt as limited as, say, her potato growing wand. It required that Tanya have some form of understanding of how the ingredients she targeted were going to be changed. For most casters, this was a significant obstacle. For someone who actually knew a thing or two about cooking, even if her practical knowledge was somewhat limited? It was simplicity itself. Rice and water were placed in the rice cooker, and with a wave of her wand, it changed into fully cooked rice. Ingredients and bowls were placed on the counter, and with another wave, the miso soup was prepared, piping hot and already served. Finally, the fish and pickled vegetables were brought out, and with one last wave and an expenditure of juice, dinner was ready to be brought to the table. And yet, this is still far more effort than dinner usually requires back on Erf. Tanya mused. Unless she felt like something specific, and her popped rations didnt satisfy. Mother applauded the speed. So convenient! I wonder how it tastes They came and served the food, to the surprise of the men, as they had been only a minute or two away. I humbly receive this meal. Tanya said along with the others, a traditional declaration. During the meal, Father watched her intently, as she deftly handled the food just as easily as she ever had. However, she also knew that she had incorporated many of the mannerisms taught to her by the Royal special into her ordinary actions, so if he was trying to find a hint of her old body language it would not be seen here. After the meal was concluded, and Mother took things back into the kitchen to wash, Father spoke: So what are your intentions here? He asked. Tanya frowned, hurt. I know I wasnt exactly an ideal son when it came to communicating with you all, but its been eight years. I wanted to see you all, safe and healthy. It was somewhat painful to admit that the cold, logical part of her brain noted that this was likely not going to accomplish the task of convincing him that she was who she said she was, but it was the truth. I dont want anything at all from you. In fact, here. She withdrew one of her spare gems and used moneymancy to turn it into a bar of pure gold. Here. Ive already had it tested, it should be pure gold, five hundred grams, three million yen. Take it. Unless the 50% purity on a 50% saturated gold bar was coincidence. She slipped the other half-kilogram bar back into her dress, as the gem was one hundred thousand shmuckers. Its only proper for me to help you financially in your old age. Fathers emotions roiled at the gold bar. Greed contested anger while stomping down guilt, Tanya glared at him, waiting for his response. I am sorry. He eventually said, bowing in apology. Take your money. He said, pushing it back. I still work, and make plenty of money. I insist. Tanya said, pushing the gold bar forward once more. As a dutiful son She glazed downward. You know what I mean. Mother hummed in amusement. You know if you had an indiscretion in your first few working years youd be at about the right age now to be our granddaughter. Grandfather stroked his beard. Yes, that math does check out. Tanya quickly did the math. Okay, by the date she would be 41 now, her apparent age was her level plus seven, so 17 Yes, that does work out. With her distraction, Father picked up the gold ingot and tossed it into her cleavage, nailing the toss precisely and slipping the item back into her Inventory. Tanya raised an eyebrow. You know its a magic dress, right? She put her hand underneath her skirt and produced both of the gold ingots. As long as my hand is inside the dress I can take whatever out of it. She just wished that the pockets didnt vanish when she had the Barrier activated. Wait, she didnt have the barrier up right now. She could have been using the pockets. As Tanya cursed her ingrained habit, Mother had moved on. So, lets say you recently lost your mother, and decided to track down your mysterious father, only to find that he died. After some effort, you find us, and we have our tearful reunion, and everything works out! Except for the total lack of legal papers. Tanya said dryly. Wait she looked at Father, who was looking back at her with a baffled expression on his face. Did they just say that at the same time? She turned back to Mother and continued. Plus, look at my/her clothes and hair. Tanya looked back at her father, annoyed. Then she remembered the situation, and relaxed, gesturing for him to continue. Kiyone, people without legal papers dont dress like that. Father explained, Not without substantial crimes being committed by important people. Im also pretty sure I wouldnt pass a DNA test. Tanya added, While I cant say for sure this body even has blood parents, Just being made ex nihilo by Being X was not out of the question, -if it did, my genetics would register to be Slavic. Northeastern European. Well, assuming that such an analysis couldnt pinpoint her origins as extradimensional by having markers that are completely alien to this dimension. Mother huffed. Well, do either of you have a good idea? She asked. Hm. No, its quite impossible for a foreigner to get Japanese identity papers without some kind of foreign identity papers to use as a basis. Father said mostly to himself, frowning. Boop. Thats right, Japans xenophobia means that they have no incentive to make their immigration paperwork convenient. I suppose if I went to a foreign country that was easier to work with, got papers, and came back, that could work. Tanya proposed, humming. Or, I suppose, I could just continue to not legally exist. How could you say that? Father asked, aghast. I have a source of income that doesnt require employment. Tanya said, gesturing to the ingots. I already have my education, so as long as I can stay here or with my friend, that covers most needs for identification. How many of those do you have? Mother asked. Sustainably, I could make one a week. Tanya said. Each five hundred gram ingot held 50,000 shmuckers, and she could generate ten thousand per turn with juice to spare, just by growing potatoes and cashing them in. It was why she wasnt concerned about being unable to pay her upkeep. If I liquidated? Hundreds. It might even break a thousand, but she wasnt willing to go anywhere near that figure. Gold is magically expensive to make, but it is something I can do. Honestly, theres probably greater efficiency in making something else, but gold was something I knew would be valuable, so I focused on it. There was also the factor that she was a bit gun shy, pun intended, on introducing some modern material that dirtamancers could conjure instead. There was a silence as the three other people stared at the ingots on the table. They were probably thinking they were imagining those two bars becoming a stack of hundreds, but Tanya actually used some subtle foolamancy to show it to them, in an ephemeral way. As a joke. ...You can stay until the day we die and beyond. Father said firmly. Well figure out the legalities later. All doubt in my mind has vanished. Grandpa said, nodding seriously. Welcome home! Mother said, tears in her eyes. Tanya laughed. Chapter 2.17 All jokes aside, the house did have a spare room. It wasnt furnished as a guest room, but it did have a closet and that was pretty much all it needed to be used as one after Tanya used one of her wands to resolve that deficiency. As she had packed up everything she left in Mizukis place due to the possibility she would not be returning, it was simple enough to unload everything and change out of the Dress With Pockets into clothing more suitable for wearing around the house. I missed the shopping trip? Mother asked when she realized that Tanya had bought her yukata earlier that day. ...Sorry. Tanya said after thinking about it. I just needed new duds. She winced, realizing that she used Erf slang again. I mean, I just needed clothes that didnt make me look like Im cosplaying. Not looking like a tourist was pretty much impossible, just from her hair and face, but there was a difference between being a foreign girl and being a weeaboo otaku. Now, I noticed that you have wifi now, so I set up the laptop I bought to download and update. So the internets probably going to be slow for the rest of the night. Psh. I barely use it anyway. Mother said, waving it off. Come watch TV. As it was the Golden Hour of programming, the most popular shows were on. Mother favored the variety shows, although she couldnt decide on her favorite. It wasnt until Tanya had interacted with online friends that she really realized how strange some of the skits and games in those shows were; apparently Janapese TV was famous internationally for some of the content from those shows, particularly the parts where pain challenges and such were done. But as the name suggests, they are variety shows. Theres plenty of other content, like comedians doing a bit, some cheesy skits, etcetera. So that ate up a few hours, laughing, relaxing good times. Afterwards was when the late night news programs came on, and apparently She really should have been paying more attention to that video. While the mysterious Mahou-chan and her arrival could have been faked, if we look just at the video, the supplemental videos showing the girl walking the streets of Tokyo prove that, at the very least, she is real. The Dr. Kaku on the television explained, Furthermore, if there was some kind of trickery, it is clear that the train station was not in on it, and there is no evidence of any kind of tampering on the security cameras. One second, no Mahou-chan. The next? Mahou-chan. The second after? Panicked fleeing before she gets crushed by a train. The host added. Tanya growled at the reminder. Seriously, why didnt the Arkenshoes put her somewhere more convenient? She sent a glare towards her room, as she had cleaned them up and moved them there to reduce the odds of something happening to them. So Doctor, what about the flight? Ive run the numbers on how strong shed have to be to jump that distance. Dr. Kaku said, Standing jump, five meters away, one and a quarter meters straight up, that breaks the standing long jump record by about two meters, and while it wouldnt break the standing high jump, it would strain it. He looked uncomfortable with this next bit, but continued: An exact figure of how much stronger she would need to be is impossible, of course, given surprise presumably reducing the distance and adrenaline increasing it, but five to ten times as strong as she should be is in the right ballpark. Tanya spent a few motes of juice to crunch the numbers. As she expected, a normal scout warlord without flight had a chance of making that jump but could only do so when avoiding a sufficiently large hazard or area effect magic, such as that train. In the case of that train and her level? 40% chance to completely avoid damage, which would be the necessary level of success to make that jump. Because of her higher-than-normal Move and flight, the odds of her avoiding damage was 90%. She could make the calculation with normal physics, but shed need to pose it as a hypothetical and couldnt use shorthands like level 10 warlord, which meant shed need to do some research in order to figure out the capabilities of a normal human, or at least find a reference person she could use Analysis on. It didnt look like a jump. The host said, bringing up a graphic that had her at the conclusion of her movement spliced with the start, and a distinctly non-parabolic line drawn between them. That was also the conclusion that was drawn. Dr. Kaku replied, Her motion, when analyzed frame-by-frame, did not follow Newtonian models. That does not necessarily mean she can fly, but it is strong evidence that something strange is going on. Mother looked over to Tanya. You nearly got hit by a train? She asked, before realizing the awkwardness of the statement. Uh You can fly? She asked instead. Tanya sighed and floated upwards, rotating upside down before answering: Yes. Then completed the rotation and settled back down. Unfortunately, unlike in Erf her hair did not accommodate that movement, and she had to immediately start tending to the massive strands so they did not become a disaster zone. Mother helped, of course. Booping gravity. Tanya muttered. The TV interview continued: What do you think of some claims that Mahou-chan is coming back from her isekai adventure? The host asked. I think some kids watch too much anime. Dr. Kaku replied, Most train stations have had at least one person die at some point in their history, the fact that this one had that happen is irrelevant. Tanya took the remote and changed the channel to some kind of seinen anime. Honestly Tanya said angrily. People will believe anything nowadays. Well, you really did come back, son. Father pointed out, So you cant really complain that theyre right. Sure I can. Tanya asserted, Wild guesses being correct doesnt mean they arent stupid wild guesses. Despite the annoying video (which now had fifty million views) and its domination of the news programs, Tanya still got to enjoy a quiet evening with her parents before going to bed. She did burn the rest of her juice on growing potatoes on a patch of dirt, then turning them into french fries with her cooking wand (to show off the massive pile of them, mostly), and then promptly turned them into shmuckers to give a small boost to the treasury. As she hadnt spent much juice but still spent a decent amount of it, she got about fifteen thousand shmuckers out of the deal. --------------------------- Surprisingly, the next day didnt include another message from Maggie. This was good, because it meant that Maggie didnt see the need to get an update every turn. She had found a website that allowed her to legally and safely sell her gold directly to the people who invest in it, and spent the morning having Grandfather help her set up a bank account she can use, addressed properly to her home, and transferred the money from the account Mizuki helped her set up to there. Helpfully, the bank also had the facilities to authenticate her gold, which meant the four bars she had produced now legally existed as two kilograms of 24 karat gold, although they got some strange looks from Tanyas bald-faced lie that she melted and cast the bars herself from a much larger but less pure old figurine, positively gushing as she bragged about her goldsmithing hobby. It was still a small enough amount that it was barely plausible, but Tanya could see the exact moment when the bank employees decided that it was not their problem. Grandfather was still occasionally chuckling when they stopped for lunch. They bought that story about the statue so easily. He said, Youve gotten really good at acting, boy. Illusions require a keen understanding of how other people see the world. Tanya said between bites of sushi. I gave them the pieces: a young girl who thought nothing of dealing with twelve million yens worth of gold, a mysterious old man thats handling the money, and a story that allowed them to connect those two data points. She shrugged, The story didnt need to hold up, because the tellers would fill in the blanks for us. The girls clearly rich. The old man owned the statue, and because gold prices are up he wants to cash in. She waves her hand vaguely. Etcetera, etcetera. They might think were some Yakuza patsies, but theyre not gonna do anything about it immediately. True, true. Grandfather said, Now, what do you say we make a visit to the old dojo? Kuno-sans great grandson has gotten arrogant with all that talent of his, and Id like to see him humbled. Id love to. Tanya replied, popping the last piece of sushi into her mouth. It didnt do much for her upkeep, but she still had quite a few Rands to cover that so it wasnt yet a concern. The dojo that Tanya learned kendo in was run by an old friend of Grandfathers, apparently they both trained under the same Master and had even had a match to inherit it, as the old Master had lost his heirs during the Korean War during a minesweeping incident. The men were practically brothers, and Tanya distinctly recalled Kunos grandson to be an unstoppable force on the kendo field. That wasnt to say that she never beat the other boy, but in the end, Tanya just couldnt keep up. If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. The dojo seemed much the same as before; it was maintained to keep the same aesthetic of life before foreign influence. Grandfather had called ahead; there was a line of disciples sitting in seiza, both the ancient master and his disciple, who appeared to be fifteen? She had him pegged as either in his last year of middle school or his first year of high school. Kuno-shihan stroked his lengthy but thin beard as he looked at Tanya. For her, this was a bit of an impulse action, so she wasnt dressed properly for the occasion: she was wearing a simple sundress and a straw hat to keep off the sun, unarmed with her crown and wand stashed in her purse. To prevent people from connecting her to Mahou-chan, she had tied her hair up in a pair of side-buns, as very few people could mentally connect just how compact one could make hair. [Tate] Combat: 2 (unarmed) Defense: 6 Hits: 13 Her opponent was the equivalent of a level one knight, which was a bit surprising. Grandfather was not joking about his talent. She wasnt concerned, though. On Erf, training weapons existed. Mathematically, they functioned as a substantial malus on damage, reducing the base damage amount to one and preventing the ability to crit. If you were truly beyond an opponent, you could still croak them in a few strikes, but that was more because of how fragile non-heavies were than anything else. It did reliably prevent you from croaking someone in a single strike, which is all she needed. So, this is your great-granddaughter? Kuno-shihan asked Grandfather. He scowled. Being a quarter foreign wasnt enough for Tenko? He had to muddy his proud Japanese blood further? Tanyas eye twitched. Do not speak ill of the dead. She said icily. All men return to zero, to concern yourself with tribal nonsense like that is unbecoming of civilized folk. Bah. What do you know? Kuno-shihan gestured to the rack of shinai. Tate, get ready. In a few seconds, Tanya was equipped with the training sword, although perhaps sporting implement would be more appropriate given the context of kendo, and stood in front of her similarly equipped peer and they were going about the normal bows before a kendo match. Were they wearing proper protective equipment? No. Was Tanya at all surprised at this fact? Also no. Bruises teach lessons as Kuno-shihan liked to say. The match was kind of embarrassingly one-sided. Now that she was doing something she had actual experience doing before her summoning, she could see the effects of her elevated points, both from her leadership and just being high level. The moment the fight began, everything started to slow down, and she could feel the natural rhyme-o-mancy of timekeeping pull the world to the beat of the music. Once, Tanya had wondered if the battle system on Erf had a notion of defensive action like parrying. Surprisingly, the people she asked could not immediately answer the question. So she put it to the test on the training court, and discovered that dedicating oneself to defense, parrying incoming attacks without trying to strike back, basically let you roll your attack as a secondary defensive roll. There were applicability issues, of course, but it meant that Tates miniscule chance to hit her, about one in forty with a seventeen-point deficit, compounded on itself and became nigh impossible for him to hit her. After a few attempts by Tate, Tanya decided that she had learned enough about combat in this world and lashed out with her shinai. With a kiai, she struck the boy solidly in the torso, knocking the wind out of him. [Tate] Hits: 7 Ouch. That was definitely excessive. She needs to pull her punches more. Tate wheezed as the point scored was announced, and with one look at the dangerous gleam in Tanyas eyes, immediately surrendered. You hit *gasp* hard. He wheezed out as he walked towards his great grandfather. Sorry. Tanya said, bowing in apology. Ill hold back more in the future. At least she has skill. Grumbled Kuno-shihan. Are you happy, Katsuhito? Extremely. Grandfather said smugly. Do you think she could win the tournament? Unlike when she was young, he left unspoken. Id really rather not. Tanya said, using foolamancy to layer Id like to keep a low profile, Grandfather. into his perception. Bah. Grandfather said, Well, Ive had my fun. Come over when youre done for the day, Yosho! Well play shogi. Tanya blinked at her grandfathers joviality. He sure lightened up over the years On the way back home, a group of delinquents catcalled her, but she distracted them by making an illusion of the catcalling ones mother shouting in outrage, letting their own memories fill in details, which distracted them long enough that she was able to get out of sight. Well, she used authority figure, but from their panicked denials, it was the mother of the head delinquent that they seized on. Once back, Tanya went into her room and did the one thing she had been aching to do ever since she came back: She went on her laptop and started up the newest Civilization game, ready to waste hours just relaxing. No danger, no worries. --------------------------- Over the next several days, very little happened. She got back into contact with both Mizuki and Takumi-san, informing the former that she would no longer be needing his hospitality and the latter that she did not expect to take him up on his generous offer for re-employment anytime in the foreseeable future. Maggie contacted her again, but there wasnt any substantial news, just a check-in for status. Even if the thinkamancer thought, accurately, that having their Empress be a dimension away was a problem, it did have some advantages. Like being unable to be attacked. Her gold had sold for full price after about a week, and all told? Life was good. None of her online friends still played the games they enjoyed together, so she had to start anew on that front, but given the circumstances that was a very small problem. Apparently, the big thing nowadays vis a vis online communities was streaming, personalities playing games for an audience. In particular, people who used face tracking software to coordinate an online avatar, referred to as Vtubing. Most of the ones she checked out seemed personable and the games they played were interesting, she guessed? Not every game that was popular to stream seemed that appealing, but there were enough strategy games and first person shooters that were streamed that she could find some like-minded gamers to socialize with. The fact that she was absolutely sure that she had met some of those Vtubers as units back on Erf was not particularly relevant, given that one of her finest subordinates looked like Margaret Thatcher. But soon enough, the Olympics came to Tokyo, and Tanya thought it would be fun to attend. Getting tickets was impossible due to the pandemic, but she didnt let that stop her. Recon meant that she could see the events clearly even in the mother of all nosebleed sections: the rafters of the stadiums. Still, the events werent as exciting as she thought theyd be, so her attention span eventually had her browsing on her phone. As she had veiled her position, she wasnt worried about people noticing her, which happened surprisingly frequently. They couldnt see through the illusion that made her look like a random crow, but there was still something suspicious about it. Wait. How many layers of indirect observation can she detect? Could cameras see through her illusion? The people pointing their phone cameras in her direction, which now that she thought about it was extremely suspicious, clearly didnt work, but were the cameras recording the illusion or the reality? Quickly, she searched on the internet for her online moniker, Mahou-chan, pairing the search with the word Olympics. Immediately, she found several videos posted that showed her sitting on her perch, the colorful armor that she was wearing easy to spot. Ah, boop. How to handle this? She could probably leave, but thatd be seen too. Lets go with audacity. She dropped the now-useless illusion, and waved cheerily when the number of people seeing her spiked as a result. It seemed to be the correct decision, as now that her presence was an unambiguously true fact the collected athletes decided that she was not their problem and started to ignore her. Instead, Tanya decided to make a new account on the video sites, taking the Mahou-chan name (well, she used Empress Mahou-chan) and posting about how all of the athletes were so cool and how great of a view she had from her private seat. Turn around so the event is in the background, peace sign, smile there. Selfie taken, social media accounts opened under the Empress Mahou-chan name, and post. She wasnt quite sure which to use, so she just looked up the five most popular platforms and made an account in all of them. Taking inspiration from those Vtubers, she decided to fill out the biographies of those new social medias with a curated version of the truth: She was a magical girl Empress from another world that came to this world because it was way safer than being within reach of the Demon King, who was Charlie in this scenario. By playing into tropes, shell be able to blend in with the other internet personalities, and that should do wonders to lower the amount of official attention she receives. Or itll just lead them right to her, but honestly? Being treated as a ruler of a foreign country wouldnt be all that bad, so while this may not end well, she has a hard time imagining it ending in a way that wasnt something she could work with. Worst case, shed just be forced to go back to Erf, never to return. Which is pretty bad. Shell just have to see. --------------------------- As she had expected, her social media presence exploded after she posted that selfie on the biggest social media site with all the appropriate hashtags. Thank you for the dono! Tanya said cheerily as she altered her deployment settings. Ill shoot to recruit them, no problem! It did not take long for her to set up her own streaming setup, as Mizuki was quite well-versed in the process due to his mysterious girlfriend having done something similar for a while. Currently, Tanya was streaming a popular turn-based tactical RPG; she loved the earlier entries but there were heaps of new mechanics and gimmicks, to the point where she kind of felt like an old man when she complained. What kind of tactics RPG came with an undo button!? The text-to-speech voice was clearly artificial, but it was quite helpful in not missing any important messages. I would like to visit your world. No, you dont. Tanya replied immediately. Theres no video games over there, and theres not a whole lot available to compete with it. Even if youre a ruler or other kind of leader, youd pretty much be stuck with booze and sex for entertainment. She shrugged. Videogames are much better. After a moment, Tanya reviewed the chat. Commanding your subordinates to sleep with you isnt nearly as awesome as it sounds. Tanya said dryly. I recall a ballad that was written about a King who could only get company if he ordered it. The epic of King Dump the Special. His Special Orders were infamously perverse, and it did his diplomatic posture no favors. Continuing to read, Tanya blushed. No, I never ordered any of my subordinates like that. I always respected the dignity of my units. Well, there was their habit of volunteering to act as her mid-air furniture Even when I had an unpleasant or degrading task that needed doing, I always had plenty of volunteers. Still, she finished setting up the deployment and started the map, checking movement ranges and starting to move. Look, all Im saying is that youre making a lot of assumptions that cant be guaranteed. Asking to be sent to another world and asking to become a powerful, important person are two different requests, and getting your first wish is no guarantee of getting the second. After all, as someone who changed worlds three times now, she knew that well. Tenko? Mother whispered. Tanya muted her microphone and gestured for her to go on subtly, still watching the game and chat. Theres some government men to see you. Oh. Well, that was a good thing? Maybe? Turning her microphone back on, she sighed. Sorry chat, the governments found my hideout and I gotta go convince them not to deport me. At least chat was on her side. Chapter 2.18 The government had decided against sending JSDF goons along with their representative, which was a good sign. The one dispatched was a diplomat, which was also a good sign. It was a low-ranking diplomat, though, which was not so good of a sign. Meant he was disposable. Hiraga was the picture of politeness as Mother served tea, alone but the limousine he came in had a pair of analysts supporting him, as well as a single police officer that looked very nervous. Naturally, Tanya had gussied up a bit: She was already using her artifacts as part of her streamer persona, but she gave herself a go over with the cleaning wand and touched up her makeup with her signamancy wand, conveying a sense of maturity and control through her appearance, in direct contrast to the friendly, youthful setup she had while streaming. Because this was Japan, getting to the point took about ten minutes, but it did eventually happen. Fortunately, the Royal special still fed her the necessary knowledge to comport herself well, which was good because the knowledge she did have about this sort of thing was entirely inappropriate for her new social status. Now, Empress Tanya. Hiraga said, getting to the point. My presence here is merely to open a dialogue between our states. He paused, before proceeding. Although first steps would be, of course, to establish the veracity of your identity. There is absolutely nothing I can provide you that would prove my status that I could not fake. Tanya said bluntly, I could rattle off statistical information on my Empire, such and such number of cities, number of soldiers, etcetera, but such numbers would not impress mighty Japan. Except, she supposed, how fast those soldiers can be replaced. Her Empire has, between the four sides, about fifty cities, and each of those can pop eight pikers per turn before Elya gets to them. Practices vis a vis symbology are different, and political entities are much smaller than youd find here. What I do have is the magical artifact that is my crown, which is my badge of office. She brought out her wand from below the table, plucking it from beneath her skirt. Due to the limited nature of the magic that lets me go between worlds, theres little difference between dealing with me personally, as someone who can act as an intermediary between our worlds, and dealing with me as a sovereign ruler. Hiraga placidly listened to her words, turning the concepts over in his mind. How do you travel between worlds? He asked. Magic, of course. Tanya said vaguely. Specifically, one of the magical artifacts in my possession. She distinctly did not glance at the Arkenshoes, which were still sitting by the door. Its picky about which users it lends its full powers to, using parameters that I do not understand. She suspects, however, that anyone from another world would work. What I do understand is how it directs its teleportation power, and thus how to manipulate the destination. Normally, it can only go to one place: Home. ...Home? Hiraga asked, inviting elaboration. First, may I ask how you found me? Tanya asked, Was it merely tracking my streaming location? Or did you speak to those I interacted with on that first day? She still talked to Mizuki, but only through online chat programs and while playing multiplayer games. ...We are aware of who you claim to be. Hiraga said vaguely, which was enough. Tanya nodded, it was as she suspected. I died eight years ago, and reincarnated in another world. Through means that arent particularly relevant, I came into possession of the artifact in question, and was able to use it to come back home. She summarized, Im perfectly willing to provide whatever my world can offer in return for a fair exchange of resources; off the top of my head, I know a man that has a belt buckle that can stop a bullet, and he can make more items to that effect. After a moment, she clarified: That is, it can stop one bullet. The magical barrier would shatter after the one hit. Hiraga seemed very interested in that. Oh really? How many could be made? Tanya took a moment to consider. Its difficult to say. It would depend on the parameters of the barrier in question. My own Barrier item is top of the line: It can apply to any kind of damage, from bullets to lightning strikes, even falls. Its tied to my life, so if you do enough damage to kill me and break it, then I can start getting hurt. She used foolamancy to let him see her barrier as a layer of hexagons around her, for her own amusement. It would be less expensive to create a Barrier that was more limited in scope, but nevertheless, Jacks still under contract for a while longer, so if we assume the absolute minimum just to protect against bullets She had spoken with him on the subject of bullet-only barriers for her infantry, and while he wasnt sure if he could make them, infantry typically could only wear about half a caster level worth of equipment each. Jack could probably make twenty a day on his own, but the thing about magical artisans is that they tend to react poorly to the idea of mass production. Its boring, and variety is essential for them to advance their craft. Its why magic items tend to be reserved for elite forces instead of rank and file. Dollamancers hated outfitting infantry. Although guns did change the equation substantially. ...Would they only work once? He asked. Tanya took a moment to think about it. ...Im not actually sure. Under normal circumstances, theyd recharge every day. But in this world, without She still benefited from the daily healing, but her understanding of magic Theres a reason higher upkeep units can use more accessories. Maybe not? Testing would be required. Or we could just make one-use accessories on purpose, I suppose. Increase the throughput. She shook her head, refocusing on her conversational partner. My point, of course, is that while trade throughput would be limited enough that we wouldnt be a viable source of anything that would be measured in tons, there are valuable products that can be traded that you couldnt get anywhere else. In other words, no theres not some massive quantity of resources that can be turned into a Co-Prosperity Sphere, but there are things that could personally benefit the rich and government officials. Not just barriers, but other things as well. The representatives eyes gleamed with greed. He was clearly imagining the accolades that he could receive for brokering some kind of deal. I see. Do you have materials prepared for such a deal? Im afraid not. Tanya said, I wanted to gather additional information relevant to such before trying to tackle interdimensional currency exchanges. She pretended to be more embarrassed than she actually was at the diplomats skeptical look. I may have gotten distracted from my aims. She lies. I see. Hiraga deadpanned. So, whats the next step, then? There is a form of magic that centers around the concept of money. Tanya summarized, Items with value can be converted into a universal currency that has no physical presence, and this can be used in so many ways. Im quite skilled with it. Using it, I can do this. She emptied her ten thousand shmucker purse to create one hundred grams of gold, holding the large coin in her palm. Do not think this is free. Each kilogram could feed an army. With magic, literally. The natural moneymancy of upkeep totally counts as magic, and a hundred thousand shmuckers per turn in upkeep is an immensely large army, but still within the realm of possibility. Her old side produced more or less as many shmuckers per turn that it was possible to produce without absurd mining luck, and it was only two hundred thousand ish per turn. This is merely how much of that ephemeral currency I can carry personally without drawing from my metaphorical vaults. She converted the coin back into shmuckers and returned it to her purse. What I do not know is whether or not the gold from here is so easily turned into the ephemeral currency of account that the magic relies on. Food worked, although the conversion rate was odd. It wasnt based on calories, at least. An entire konbini bento was worth about five shmuckers, but an extra serving of sushi at the nice restaurant she went to last week, despite having objectively less food, was worth twenty-five. It also wasnt a direct ratio to the cost of the food, either, but it was a far more accurate figure than counting calories was. The analysts were heavily discussing the implications of Tanyas statements. Are you saying that you could turn food into gold? Hiraga asked curiously after receiving instruction to ask it from his analysts. Youd be better off with the food, and theres a conversion cost with anything that isnt gold or special gems, but yes. Tanya said, In the other dimension, theres a certain level of fundamental differences between the laws of physics that complicates any interactions between that magic and third world. Conservation of Mass does not exist, for example. They have a different law instead. The Conservation of Numbers, to be specific. Poetically, Zero always calls. Some claim that Fates primary duty is to correct large imbalances. Imbalances that importing shmuckers from another world would create. She did wonder if Fate would have something to say for her doing so but changing her actions in fear of an all-powerful entity that she didnt understand the motives of was exactly what Being X would want, so she was inclined to dare Fate to stop her rather than attempt to appease it. This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. The analysts were chattering excitedly at that tidbit, as she expected. I believe I have heard enough for now. Hiraga said simply, As discussed, we will file paperwork that will allow you to legally engage in commerce, and we will get back in touch to discuss any potential government procurement. It was a pleasure to meet you. Tanya said honestly, bowing ever so slightly to be polite. Once they left, Tanya wandered back to her computer, and took a moment to breathe deeply, letting her composure break. After she calmed herself down, she turned her stream back on. Welcome back! She said cheerily, slipping into her streaming persona. The government didnt tell me to go back to my own dimension, so were good! After reviewing the chat, which surged quickly, she chuckled. Oh, I just dangled magic bullet shields in front of them, and naturally theyre pretty interested in that. I mean, unless I figure out another way, the only route between here and there is me personally teleporting over with whatever I can stuff in my dress. I can fit a lot of stuff in this dress, but it sharply limits what can be moved between worlds. Magical accessories and outfits are pretty much the best I can do on that front. Changemancy apparatuses are also potentially a thing, but she couldnt draw juice from random power poles, so shed need to see if there was some way to convert electricity in the power grid into juice before shed try and sell those. Starting up the strategy game, she started to train her units using this particular iterations teaching gimmick. Dont get me wrong, clearly some magic stuff works here, or I wouldnt be able to fly. But flying is different here, so its clearly affected somehow. Itll be a lengthy process of testing and negotiation, and until that stuff begins I have nothing better to do than play videogames with all of you, my new friends. Tanya made sure to smile brightly at the camera at saying that. Nothing was more indicative of how her audience was a bunch of lonely nerds by how they reacted to the slightest hint of sincere appreciation. It wasnt that sincere, but Tanya was happy with her new life, and she conveyed that at least. Easy money. --------------------------- She couldnt put things off forever, though: she had to return to Erf eventually. Theres no place like Erf. Theres no place like doomed, warmongering Erf. Theres no place like home. She intoned, focusing intently on the date-a-mancy strings that led to her best friends. As expected, she arrived in her Imperial Bedroom, and while she didnt use it for very long, it was exactly as she left it. Visha was lying in her bedclothes in Tanyas bed, listlessly staring at the ceiling. At the popping sound, she perked up, and immediately launched herself out of bed to tackle Tanya in a hug. Your Majesty! She proclaimed happily. Tanya chuckled at the affection. Visha, you have your own capital to sleep in. She said chidingly. The Count said you were coming back today. Visha said, pushing her fingers together. So I slept here. Hm. Hes dabbling in Predictamancy, then? She asked. I dont know. Visha admitted as she changed clothes, Maybe. She supposed it wasnt really important. Well, Im back for at least a few turns. She said, Ive confirmed that I can get shmuckers from the other world, The government was willing to spare a 24 karat coin they had to test the method of payment, and she created a new coin from the shmuckers with no issue. So I need some test products to sell to them. At extremely inflated prices. Visha nodded, falling into the same position she used to when she was an adjutant instead of a ruler, but as she was still a subordinate, it was still technically within etiquette. Tanya walked towards the portal room, and as she went, the garrison troops saluted her firmly and with a fire in their eyes, putting a spring in her step as she beheld her city. Eventually, she came across the meeting room, and saw most of her friends. Im back! Tanya announced, creating a few fireworks and sparkles with foolamancy. Reporting as ordered, your majesty. Jack said, sarcastic. He was still under contract for sparing his life during the war, which was good because they needed more. Tanya was about to start issuing orders, but paused. ...Who is that? She asked. There was a new person at the table, wearing white face paint with a black and white striped shirt and a beret, with the only color in his whole outfit being a red neckerchief. Why was there a mime at her table? Maggie coughed. Ah, she would be Mary So, the ruler of SilentCo. The newest client state in the Empire. The mime was a girl? She winked at Tanya. Did you have a war without telling me? Tanya asked, not really sure what to feel about that. Is it really a war if its over in two turns? Elya asked rhetorically. But yes. SilentCo attempted to invade us, so we sent a strike force and captured their capital. I turned the ruler, and she signed the treaty to join up as a fifth side. ...Okay, sure. What casters do they have? Tanya asked. A healomancer and a hat magician. Maggie replied. Mary So adjusted their beret proudly. If youll permit us some time with your crown, I believe with a link we can enchant a special message hat that will be able to reach you at any distance. While were on the subject, Nero popped a caster last turn. Elya added, A Findamancer. Good, there wasnt enough to go around last time, so Nero was left without a caster at all. Good. Tanya said firmly. We may have had access to Andrew, but having in-house Findamancy will be assuredly helpful. Admittedly, she wasnt quite clear on how useful they would be, but that was really more Neros problem. Theyll give Nero easy access to the Magic Kingdom though, which is good enough. Now, is there anything else? Tanya went over her menus. ...Elya. She deadpanned. I distinctly recall, twenty turns ago, setting production on an heir, at a one hundred twenty turn timer. The maximum allowable amount, in fact. Adding extra turns of production increased the chances of them popping with a cool special, or being a caster. It was the second-most reliable way to pop a caster, in fact, with the most reliable still being pop as many warlords as possible. The chance was higher, but not twenty-four times higher. I recall that too, your Majesty. Elya said agreeably. Then why, perchance, are they now set to pop tomorrow? Tanya said, eye twitching. Elya beamed with pride. I didnt have anything better to do! She practically shouted, the subtitles clearly shouting PRAISE ME. Tanya could think of at least four things she could have been doing instead of ensuring the Imperial succession. Which, given that framing, was probably a good decision for the group of sides. Nevertheless Tanya snorted with laughter at the mental image of Elya as a peppy anime supporting character. Okay, I understand. I assume Maggie helped at some point? Absolutely. Elya confirmed. Count Harbinger said youd be here two turns ago, so we linked up for the last two turns so theyll pop when youre here. Well, shes about to be a mother. Lovely. The very idea makes her vaguely nauseous. At least its the very sanitary process of popping rather than the alternative. Mother will probably be thrilled. Well, Ill need to accelerate that research then. Tanya said, mentally re-arranging things. Okay, so is there anything related to the administration of my empire that requires my attention? Or are we still just rebuilding? Everything seems to be in order in my menus. It would be nice if you could whip the new digger corps into shape Maggie said, coughing. You always seemed to have a knack in getting the infantry to adopt proper rifle tactics. Theyre doing okay when it comes to fortifying positions, but She trailed off. Alright, just get them in one place and Ill do my best. The Arkenshoes did actually allow her to train multiple groups in one turn, it was just a bit tricky. We never did see what the level 3 unit is for your personal signamancy. Janis said peaceably. We talked about adjusting your capital to that unit table, but never finalized anything. Yes, she probably should do that before her heir pops. What was currently on her pop table, anyway? She checked: so this was the unit set that popped the Lyfts, but these other units she could pop three Twitches, an advanced infantry unit of some kind, or a heavy Scot. Hey Janis, you ever hear of a Twitch, or a Scot? She asked idly. Twitches are units with natural eyemancy. Janis replied, Theyre scouts, but they have an advanced version called the Stream special. They naturally network with each other. Jack said, helpfully. Any one of them can project what any other is seeing so everyone can watch. Its a decadent luxury, honestly. Most Warlords dont like them because they have twice the upkeep of a scout but theyre as attention seeking as any CanTour. Their Only Fans are royals who dont like leaving their capitals and prefer the company of two-dimensional women. Twitches dont have much personality. This world Scots? Very contentious units. Janis said immediately. They have an odd Well, its a Flower Power special. It confounds the senses, makes it difficult for units in a big battle to tell friend from foe. Hippies and Scots are natural enemies. Like Infantry and Scots. Or Knights and Scots. Or Scots and other Scots. Theyre dance-fighters, though. Jack added, Very haunting natural music, wordless too. Not interested. She checks her menus. Okay, so we have seven cities with this unit list. Tanya said, I think we have plenty of scouting, and I dont see the need to pay such a high upkeep for courtesans, so we can safely discard this unit list for my natural one. Whirlybirds are better for us than Lyfts. It was a lot cheaper to basically re-found a city to the rulers signamancy than it was to make a tailored unit list like they did in Stalling Glade. She continued: We can do that today, then Ill start training units. If we pop mostly Tricksies over the next few turns, I can then do a linked training montage with a big group of them on the turn I go back home. If they pull out all the stops, she can get the vast majority of a group of fresh level 1s to level 2 in a single turn, and quite a few into level 3s. Given how important level is to units with juice, this was a big deal. Granted, those units cannot ordinarily be trained but foolamancers and rhyme-o-mancers can train anything, and shes both. They executed the plan, paying Janis for her services of course. Sizemore was called in from his drug-fueled haze, sobered up, and the two of them worked together to adjust the cities to better defend against firearms, particularly rifle-toting Archons. But as it turned out, she had one weapon against Archons that she would never expect. I can pop Archons!? Chapter 2.19 Typically, a city popped approximately 50-75 shmuckers worth of unit upkeep per turn. Eight pikers was 64, six stabbers was 60, 4 or 5 turns for a 300 upkeep dwagon, one 50 upkeep knight, etcetera. Her 80 upkeep recon knights popping at 1 per turn was considered quite good, production-wise. The biggest exceptions were commanders, which popped in four turns despite having 100 upkeep, although it wasnt unusual for them to be higher if they had certain specials, and heirs, which popped in 40-120 turns. Archons had 200 upkeep, and most sides that can pop them need four or even five turns to do so. She knows for a fact that Charlie somehow manages to pop one per turn, she assumes some kind of linkup shenanigans if not a bonus from the Arkendish. She only needs three, which means something. Was it because of the Arkenshoes? After some thought, she figured that she should probably keep going with the Tricksy popping/training plan. The only things every archon had innately was thinkamancy and shockamancy, and they were pretty limited in those, too. They could only attack with their shockamancy, and they only had the thinkamancy special instead of an advanced scout special with the Arkendish. Mind you, If led by an appropriate caster, they could lend their juice to augment that casters spells, taking half of the juice costs from their own stores. Granted, the random specials they got every level could upgrade their shockamancy proficiency, gaining broader expertise, and their dollamancy/foolamancy options were less limited, albeit gated by the unlock. Theoretically, an archon with foolamancy and leadership could lead a stack of tricksies, using the archons superior intellect to guide their juice into larger, coordinated effects, her very own Ghost Army. Now that sounded like a plan. But shed still need a solid core of Tricksies to make it work. Plan affirmed with this new information, Tanya went to where the new Digger corps were training and started drilling them in anti-gun fortifications. Shes got an important day tomorrow. --------------------------- Naturally, the popping of a royal heir was a momentous occasion. Literal armies could be popped with the same number of turns an heir can be, and she could have popped three heirs in the production time allocated to this. Tanya knew she was just uncomfortable with the idea of being a mother, so had just wanted to put it off as long as possible. Unfortunately, leaving Elya unattended meant that the time was now. It had been intensely uncomfortable to sleep, she felt ill as she tried to avoid thinking about the implications, and may or may not have felt some psychosomatic symptoms that were unsettlingly similar to some of the things she recalled seeing complaints about on television when they needed to establish that a character was pregnant. But it was time. While the rulers of the component sides of her empire had arrived to welcome her back, it was this event that everyone was waiting on. The turns begun. Elya announced. Pop. In front of everyone, a small girl appeared. She was short even by Erf standards; by Earth standards she looked about eight years old. Even taking local standards into account, she looked twelve at the oldest; she would fit in well with Riley, Saltina, and the rest of their little club. She had pink hair in a pair of buns, although she mixed it up and had some hair to the sides in some short pigtails as well, fluffed up with enough volume to resemble tufts of cotton candy. She was dressed in what is very blatantly a Japanese schoolgirl uniform, and had a pistol in her hand. [Princess Chibi-tan von Degurechaff, Level 1 Warlady] Attack: 23 Defense: 14 Hits: 11 Move: 8 Specials: Royal, Knight, Archery, Leadership, Dance-fighting, Archon Transformation That better be one heck of a special, given that it literally added an Archons normal upkeep to her own. But seriously? A unit with natural firearms proficiency? And her individual variance is currently set to +20%, so 360 upkeep is not cheap for a level 1 warlady. It is interesting that she popped with +2 armor, though. Popping in a flash to a royal ball Chibi-tan began, speaking dramatically. The pretty warlord for Love and Justice has arrived! Princess Chibi-tan, the Small Lady, reporting for duty! She really should have seen this coming. Welcome into the world, my daughter. Tanya began, not really sure what to say but acknowledging her as heir sounded like a good start. What little composure Chibi-tan possessed broke at that, and she launched herself at Tanya for a hug. Hi Mom! She shouted, squeezing Tanyas torso with all of her strength. Tanya embraced her back, letting the smaller girl have a seat in her lap. A few of the audience snickered, but some foolamancy to secretly convey her displeasure to those people shut them up. After a moment of luxuriating in the contact, Chibi-tan looked excited. My specials super-cool, want to see? I would love to see your special. Tanya replied, flashing an indulgent smile. Chibi-tan hopped off of Tanyas lap and the throne, and struck a magical girl pose. Moon Archon Magic: Make up! She shouted, and proceeded to have a flashy transformation sequence. Once finished, she was pretty much exactly the same, but instead of a Japanese schoolgirl dress, she was wearing a pink, white, and gold magical girl dress with way too short of a skirt in Tanyas opinion. Her stats, on the other hand [Princess Chibi-tan von Degurechaff, level 1 Royal Archon] Attack: 22 Defense: 14 Hits: 8 Move: 58 Specials: Royal, Flight, Archery, Leadership, Dance-fighting, Shockamancy, Relay Conditions: Transformed Was intriguing. An archon has a list of specials they got random choices from, plus Relay, which is really just an advanced scout special like Recon or Ranger, only instead of adding Lookamancy or Foolamancy to the innate thinkamancy of Scout, it just doubles down on Thinkamancy, allowing them to clearly communicate to any commander within their scouting range, not just send scouting data. Charlies Archons just used the Arkendish to stretch that a bit further. Anyway, the random list was Shockamancy, Foolamancy, Dollamancy, Dance-fighting, and Leadership. Notably, the level 1 Archon special isnt rolled randomly; its always Shockamancy. It looked like Chibi retained her Warlord leadership and dance-fighting, which probably meant that shell pick up only the casting disciplines. Neat. Wait a minute, does this mean that popping knights with her pattern would automatically be riflemen (musketeers? Or maybe something that reflects the pistol and dance parts?) or archons? Or both? She immediately set the capitals production to pop knights for Chibi-tan. Oh, she should say something. Im very impressed. She says to start. Truly there has never been an Archon with greater potential ever popped, not even the thousands of Charlsecomm Archons could hope to match you. Once shes leveled up some. She snapped her fingers to assign an honor guard, a reinforced stack of some of her best knights to be Chibi-tans personal protectors. She had already readied them for this exact purpose. With a quick test, it was confirmed that Chibi-tan couldnt exploit the same caster slot in the command auxiliary of a stack, so Tanya slotted into it herself. White, take a stack and escort us. Im going to spend the day with my daughter, showing her the ropes. I must insist on at least one more, your Majesty. White insisted. Ill come with! Visha volunteered, her own honor guard all saluting as well. Kurig, with me! Nero huffed. I shall contribute a guard of my own to this sojourn! Newsman! She snapped her fingers. Go with them. Tanya didnt even need the Arkendish to tell that she added and report back with any juicy gossip as an addendum to those orders. I accept your generous offers. Tanya said politely, But lets leave it at that, shall we? She was actually a little stoked, these were the same warlords that she first popped and promoted, really, they were more her sons than Chibi-tan was her daughter, as odd as it was to say. If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. Tanya had been generous in using her date-a-mancy to bolster the elite stacks of knights, so each of the stacks were the full sixteen that she no longer needed a link from Maggie to accomplish. One of the tasks on her docket was to bind together a few more reinforced stacks, as they were really quite effective. So with that, the five stacks, eighty-five units with a total upkeep in the realm of twenty thousand shmuckers per turn, a strike force that could destroy entire sides with the force multipliers of guns and Tanyas own spellcasting flew off to have some fun. She didnt think shed end up invading anyone, but the turn was young --------------------------- Sailor Moon reference or not, Tanya found that Chibi-tan was just an adorable little girl that absorbed her lessons like a sponge. Typically, a side patrolled their territory with scouts, who paid for their upkeep and even turned a profit in both rations and experience by hunting ferals who pop in the territories and, if practical, foraging in the hexes outside the territory of their cities. Her Empire was still building up defenses and optimizing their economy (as it turns out, the ratio of capital sites to regular city sites was not a neat and tidy 1 to 8, it was closer to 1 to 14 or 15, so it wasnt quite so simple as just taking all sites and upgrading them to 5), and as such there were still large swathes of untamed territory to accrue additional wealth from. Further, diminishing shmuckers increased the amount of available forage, which allowed one with a good foraging system to reclaim some of the lost revenue. In particular, there were special farm hexes that needed to be defended and managed like mines did, growing chickens and pigs and cows and what have you. By owning such hexes, additional rations were sent to the cities of your side in the form of meat, dairy, and poultry. Linguistically, there wasnt really anything distinguishing these farm hexes from the other kind, which was just something that happened to certain kinds of hexes (mostly grassland, but other types as well) that were within the territory of a city or one of those other farm hexes, and represented the ration income that city accrued, and could thus be pillaged as a siege tactic. So Tanya mentally referred to those as field hexes as they were fields of crops or grazing lands, and only called the defensible farming hexes as farms. Nevertheless, they represented other waypoints for the systems of tunnels that Sizemore was creating (well, repairing and expanding) and their new digger corps were maintaining, and some of the new turnamancy-enhanced minecarts ferried a few infantry scout stacks equipped with backpack accessories that foraged in the unworked hexes, padding the budget even more. Of course, before they could do that, the Recon Knight patrols had to clear the area of any dangerous ferals and enemy units. Both the results from these hunts and the forage teams then moved their bounties to those waypoints, and the resulting food was shipped to wherever it was needed. Wow, thats super smart! Chibi-tan said after Tanya explained the system, which constituted the majority of the sides attention during peacetime. How much does it all earn? Well, our citys garrisons are mostly full now, so our sides hungry enough that we consume it all, the extra rations from these tactics adds another eighty thousand shmuckers a turn per side. Approximately. This was after the upkeep of the units that only live as part of this system, mind you. Seeing as how fifteen level 5 cities, as that was mathematically optimal even if it had negative effects on security density, produced around thrice that amount Its a sizable increase when your side has diminishing shmucker penalties, and the secondary benefits of good scouting and a steady flow of experience points to the knights assigned as hunters are excellent consolation prizes. Ferals werent great sources of experience, but they could get a knight to level three or four easily enough before the gains fell off a cliff. There were experience penalties for repeating the same task over and over. I wanna fight a Yoma! Chibi-tan announced. Were almost there. Tanya said patiently. They had scouted out a tribe of them and were headed there. Also, theyre called Yomama.. Yomamas were natural allies, an all-female tribe of demons? Tanya wasnt quite clear how to describe them. They were generally very fancily dressed, with their life drain special they heavily resembled a less human version of Transylvitos Skanks. They had a special called Incite, a mental shockamancy effect that allowed them to manipulate an enemys actions in battle. This wasnt particularly useful when they fought alone, but they were a nuisance that, like all natural ally tribes, introduced a potential enemy that Charlie could wield against them, so they had to go. Diplomatic overtures via thinkamancy had not gone well, Chief Beryl refused to stop insulting Maggie, who handled the diplomacy on her own. So, they had to croak. Belligerence demoted them to belligerent. Okay, so, youve been receiving the scouting data, At her orders, So tell me what were up against. Chibi-tans face scrunched up cutely as she ran through the data she was receiving. The Yoma number one hundred and twenty. Fifteen stacks, spread out over three hexes. About one fifth of them are knights, three stacks and some extra. Tanya waited patiently. ...Mathamancer, what are their levels? She asked, proud of herself for remembering what Tanya said earlier: she was acting as a caster, not a warlord. Even if her Leadership bonus was what her stack was using. Chief Beryl has weighted their strength with herself, with her highest level knights acting as pseudo-command units, even if theyre incompetent at the role. Our spying has determined that the hex leader of the other two hexes are the only knights in those hexes, named Jadeite and Nephrite. Tanya smirked as the signamancy joke finally clicked in her head. While there are still plenty of their non-promoted variety in the main hex, everything beyond those two who are knights are with the Chief. After a beat, she prodded her daughter some more. Now, what of this information I provided you is useful? Hmm Chibi-tan couldnt immediately provide an answer, which was fair: it was a trick question. ...None of it, we overpower them so much that it doesnt matter what their levels are. Precisely, but while it is important to understand when youre wasting your time on things that dont matter, Tanya gestured to the gathered units, who were stacked up and ready to fight. -something critical to know when youre a Chief Warlord or a Ruler, you must also understand how to gather and sort through the information you do have access to so that when you face a dangerous enemy, you know what to do. Yeah, yeah. Chibi-tan said, Now, can we croak the Yoma now? At your command, Princess. Tanya said faux-deferentially. In hindsight, she probably should have imparted a lesson about respecting ones enemy and keeping ones cool, but Beryl really shouldnt have said that about her mother. --------------------------- At level two, wonderfully, Chibi-tan got the foolamancy special in archon form, which meant that she could join in on the Tricksy training turn. More importantly, it gave Tanya an idea on how to have a little more fun in doing so. Specifically, playing a completely different strategy game with foolamancy units against Chibi-tan, tapping Klein to keep her juice going as she coordinated her half of the tricksies to keep the illusions going. Use the hammer against the armored units! Chibi-tan ordered, before gesturing at another set of units. Mage girl, hit the cavalry! Tanya could remain silent as she issued orders to all twelve of her hero units, adjusting formations and pitting strength to Chibi-tans weakness. She still issued some out loud to make things easier, however. Hector, advance proudly but hold a sword and use an elixir. Fiora, the Lord is open, dive! Roy! Chibi shouted in pain as her ruler unit was killed by the flying unit and she thus lost the contest. This was the fifth match, and she had adapted reasonably well to the foreign ruleset, Tanya was just better. She even rebalanced the units for her The original set of units gave her much more flexibility, and Tanya gave her a handicap of extra units Ah well. Still, the turn ended, and that meant that the music ended, Elyas spell ended, and the rhyme-o-mancy that stretched their foolamancy juice just a bit more than it would otherwise allow for ran out, making every single illusion vanish. Closing her eyes, Tanya went through the list of units. As she had hoped, not a single tricksy remained level 1. About half were level 3, although none were level 4. More importantly, Chibi-tan leveled to three as well, and got Dollamancy. Not what she was hoping for, but it did mean she had access to all three archon disciplines, which was potentially useful. She just wasnt very good at any of them. I want to go again! Chibi-tan whined. Calm down. Tanya said, smiling indulgently. So cute, even when shes being a brat. Well play again tomorrow. She turned to Chibi-tans new retainer, who was unable to participate in the foolamancy-focused training. Bunny, make sure Chibi doesnt get into trouble. Translation: call her if Chibi-tan gets into trouble. I have some meetings to attend in the Magic Kingdom, then I need to go back home. Okie-Dokie! Bunny said loudly, saluting sloppily. She was an archon, looking exactly like Sailor Moon. Tanya found herself disappointed that she couldnt pop knights who already had rifle proficiency, thus allowing for non-carnymancy usage of the powerful weapons, but figuring out how Charlie managed to get 1-turn archons was a decent enough consolation prize: He must use carnymancy to make his own personal knight an archon, because thats what Chibi-tan has. They refrained from popping more than a non-reinforced stack for Chibi-tan to lead, as they were, bluntly, too expensive to field in large numbers. Tanya was completely unsurprised to find the full cast of Sailor Moon as that stack, even if the names were off and Tanya wasnt entirely sure on some of them: Bunny, Amy, Reina, Lita, Vee, Amara, Michelle, and Puu. Wait, wasnt there supposed to be nine? Are you gonna come back? Chibi-tan asked, tears in her eyes. Tanya wasnt fooled, though: her daughter had proven to be a rather manipulative little minx. Eventually. Tanya said, giving her daughter a hug. But Im going to delegate most of the ruler stuff to you when Im gone, and Maggie will help you out. If I set things up right with the other universe, well have more income than anyone else in the world, even Charlie. Just be careful with the treasury. Given that they drained all the mines so they didnt need to seriously defend them, it was a truly immense sum, but it still didnt beat Charlies treasury, so it clearly wasnt enough. You will? Chibi-tan asked, excited. Ill make you proud, Mom! I know you will. Tanya replied, patting the smaller girl on the head. --------------------------- On her return to Tokyo, Tanya was much better prepared. She arrived in her room, for one, exactly where she left, so that explained a bit. First things first: Im home! She announced, before pulling out her phone and entering the living room. Want to see pictures of your actual granddaughter? She asked. Mother practically teleported to the couch next to Tanya. It did take a while to get Mother to actually understand what she was seeing, but eventually she was excited to see all of the pictures Tanya had taken of Erf, how weird it really was. Eventually, she sent off an e-mail to Hiraga that she had returned, and to schedule a meeting with whichever parts of the government were interested in magic items; part of the agreement that got her Japanese citizenship and recognition of her previous academic records was that she gave them preferential treatment. She also scheduled a stream start. Once she returned to her room, she noted that her new hat was trembling, so she activated it. Silver Milennium. She spent quite a bit of time making items with the Great Minds that could more consistently breach the dimensional barrier; this wasnt something they particularly liked, but the Great Minds did have the best interests of the Magic Kingdom as a whole right below their nebulous safeguarding of all magic on their priority list, so more customers for the Magic Kingdom was not something theyd dismiss out of hand. A letter came out, more of a test than anything else. In addition, one of her wands that she had left behind to be transported, as well as a carnied pistol and the test accessories of a one-use barrier and one that should be a once per turn one. She took the letter and wrote on the backside with her wand. All items received, same turn as departure, sending back test item, it should be 10,000 shmuckers worth of gold. She tapped the specially made hat. Crystal Tokyo. The items vanished. Shortly after sending them, the treasury increased by ten thousand, as expected. Fantastic. Now that everything important has been done Tanya said to herself. Time to game! She had some shooters to play, and she started the stream. Hello everyone! Its Empress Mahou-chan, and Im back from the other world! Id be happy to regale you of my tales of meetings, parties, drilling, and a bit of hunting, but for now? Im thinking of playing Edgy McShotgun today. Im out of juice, spent it all before I left, so no magic demonstrations. This was a slight lie; she did actually have a single caster level left for her own convenience, but all of her wands were empty. Matchmaker, match me a team! Was her streaming persona a little silly? Yeah, but she was supposed to be a magical girl from another world, so being eccentric and moe was just to be expected. Besides, it was surprisingly freeing to say whatever odd thing came to mind, giving the characters in the shooter unflattering nicknames and issuing exceptionally creative threats to people who annoyed her. Besides, it was difficult to resist the lure of the stage when you could see the heartstrings of your audience grow in both number and strength. Chapter 2.20 Tanya had dressed up even more than usual, commissioning a second Dress with Pockets, although this one had a different name: The Hammertime dress. In addition to providing Inventory, it also could generate a basic melee weapon even with nothing stored, which was a neat feature. The point, of course, was to just have a more regal appearance when meeting the government representatives. Jack had figured out enough about how the signamancy shifts when her crown transforms her clothes into armor that he could make it so that the appearance in both states was something he controlled. This one looked like a formal kimono while transformed, and Tanya used her signamancy wand to touch up her appearance to match it better. It helped a lot that her mother was available to ensure that she looked properly authentic. The meeting was held in one of the many government buildings in Tokyo, not one of the famous ones, but it was near the Diet building. The conference room was richly appointed, and set up in a formal tea ceremony. If they sought to put her on the wrong foot, they had gone about it entirely the wrong way. It was only after introductions were had that the truth of the matter came out: In addition to the expected group of someone high up in Japans military procurement, one or two economic ministers of some kind (there were, like, 5 different ones), and someone from the Emperors staff, there was also Lt. General Jost, the commander of all military assets of the United States in Japan. The tea ceremony was an extremely polite interjection towards the American. None of them wore masks, although their respective staffs did, but she wasnt worried: While it did take some doing to properly explain how diseases worked, she was able to procure a healomancy wand that should be able to handle any hostile status effects, even if they were imitations of flower power poison effects from other disciplines. Analysis was already able to detect infections. In fact During a lull in the ceremony, where conversation was expected, she politely expressed discomfort before bringing up an uncomfortable topic. Ah, if youll pardon me, there is something I should do. She took out the wand, which looked like a cartoons rendition of a mercury thermometer, and pointed it at one of the attendants. Chicken Soup. She said in Language, which, with another check using Analysis, cleared her of the infection. I apologize, but that could have gotten ugly if her mask slipped. Naturally, it was the American who actually spoke up: ...What did you just do? He asked. Tanya blinked in faux-confusion. I healed her sickness, of course. She had covid. No one else in the room does, incidentally. And you did that by saying Chicken Soup in English. Jost deadpanned. I used a wand, I dont get to set the incantation. Tanya retorted, Im not a healer. Not to say that the caster set it either, they could if they understood signamancy enough to pick something fitting, but most just let Fate do that for them. Before you ask, unfortunately you need to be able to cast spells in order to use wands, and while its not impossible to get around this limitation, its complicated. I wish to know how you knew she had it. Interjected Sagara, the military procurement guy. Tanya flicked her earrings. These can feed me information about things I look at. I got them before I learned useful magic, but now I can cast spells to do the same thing. Specifically, Analysis was a mathamancy/foolamancy special. Most relevantly, they can tell me if any conditions exist that would be relevant to know, which includes diseases or poisons. Was she implying that she could detect poison even without those earrings? Yes. Can she? Also yes. It was actually obscenely difficult to ensnare a cautious Hokey Pokey in a trap, no matter which axis they use. Given the pandemic, I thought it wise to check everyones condition. Would those be for sale? Jost asked, intrigued. I dont see why not. Tanya said, They arent as effective in this world, but they can still divine conditions, which is all youd really need from them. What else can they see? Sagara asked, once more taking the lead for actionable specifics. Combat potential, mostly. Tanya said vaguely. Here, let me She used foolamancy to show them a few of the stat boards. [Lt. General Stephen Jost] Combat: -2 (unarmed) Defense: 2 Hits: 6 Honestly, she was a little surprised he even rated a stabber-level stat block. [Sosuke Sagara] Combat: 6 Defense: 6 Hits: 13 Special: Martial Arts It was also surprising that a military procurement person had knight-level stats. And an unarmed special. She now suspected that he was some kind of special forces person, either former or current. [Empress Tanya von Degurechaff, level 10 ruler] Combat: 33 Defense: 43 Hits: 20 (20) Specials: Royal, Attuned, Leadership, Caster, Flight, Recon Conditions: Barrier, Leadership x2, Inventory, Hammertime Interesting fact: Whites Chief Warlord bonus didnt reach her in this world. She edited away the stuff she didnt want to explain, like her Tanya special and her infinite Move stat, as Earthlings lacked the stat altogether. She thought about editing it further, but decided that it would help her case if she left something potentially inflammatory. You see the difference, of course. Tanya explained, I suspect that your own points are just approximations, rather than the mathematical certainties I can input into magical equations to calculate battle odds. ...What does that kind of difference mean? Jost asked, rubbing his chin. A twenty-point lead is considered enough to be functionally invulnerable. Tanya explained, Its not literally so; dogpiling someone with bodies is always an effective option, its just that such an extreme difference requires an even more extreme numbers disparity to overcome. It seems that someone who can fly would be difficult to dogpile. Observed Jost. Eh, depends on what youre doing it with. Tanya waved vaguely. There was this one ally I used to have who liked swarming their enemies with bats, and thats not something Id want to fight unless I had some dragons or something on my side. Any heavy flier would do, really. Yeah, she could croak hundreds of bats with her shockamancy, but that would run out relatively quickly. Heavy attacks croaking half a dozen bats per swing multiplied by a stack would be much more reliable. My point is that the laws of physics are different here, so Id hesitate to assume anything would work exactly the same as in the other world. It just so happens that healing magic seems to work okay. She suspected that erf-axis magic would likely have the hardest time, as hat magic needed date-a-mancy to be incorporated to traverse the dimensional barrier, as an example. We can arrange tests for any claims later, for now Ill have to ask you to take me at my word, as I dont expect to come to any firm agreements without further meetings. The Japanese representatives nodded understandingly, but Jost looked suspicious instead. How does magic work? He decided to ask. That would take a very long lecture to properly explain. Tanya said, But broadly speaking, magic can be subdivided into twenty-four disciplines, which collectively can explain all natural phenomena, referred to as natural magic if it doesnt come from a caster. Are you following? Sounds like a bunch of unscientific crap. He said, frowning. Speaking as someone with knowledge of physics in both worlds, yes its pretty unscientific. Tanya admitted, But if you ever saw the difference between someone dying from a fall here and someone dying from a fall there, youd understand why the distinction exists. Most of the time, lethal injuries carried the signamancy of lethal injuries. Units that croak from a small fall do things like fall on their heads or impale themselves, but it didnt always work out that way. Sometimes their eyes turned into Xs to what an Earthling would call entirely survivable events, sometimes the opposite happened and someone lived with the top half of their head cut off, exposing their brain to air. Until they got healed at the start of turn. While there are certainly biases and cultural blindspots among the magical community, and theres certainly spirited debate about the true nature of magic and other such topics, generally speaking they know what theyre talking about. Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on. Alright, fair enough. He said, waving off her concern. Moving on, each class, which is a set of three disciplines of those twenty-four, requires a specific mindset to properly utilize, with each caster first learning a single discipline and branching out to the other disciplines within their class as they develop their skills, typically. Tanya explained, creating a foolamancy spreadsheet that showed little pictures instead of words showing off the magic discipline, to keep things vague-ish. So casting among multiple classes as I do is quite unusual, even if I mostly stick to the one axis. She highlighted the ones she could cast, all of which being in the third column. It makes me uniquely suited to speak on behalf of other casters, although politically Im closer to some classes guilds than others. She smiled enigmatically. Of course, failing that, I have this. She pulled out the special hat she brought with her. This is a message hat, it can pass small objects between itself and other message hats. Most cant cross the dimensional barrier, but this one can, but only to its matched pair, and even then it only works if its possessed by someone Im close with. Janis had the other one, as being the one who linked up to create it made her uniquely suited to make use of it. I had it made during my recent trip back. But you cant just give us wands, because you need to be a caster. Repeated Sagara. Tanya took out a wand and passed it over to Jost before explaining in English: Think of an animal that youd find in a city, wave it, and say Where is it, boy?. Well see if something happens. The wands tip had a dog head on it, so he looked at her strangely, shrugged, and did it. Where is it, boy? He said sarcastically. ...Nothing happened. He said. What did you try and find? Tanya asked, taking the wand back. A cat. Where is it, boy? Tanya said, waving the wand and thinking of cats. The nearest cat is that way. She said, pointing the wand in that direction. So no, you cant use it. You have something less fakable? He asked. I used a safe option. Tanya said defensively. But fine, lets go with She put the wand back and started digging in her sleeves. I suppose this one? Yes. Watch. She waved the new wand and said Reload. A magazine matching her pistol appeared. Fully loaded. It should be able to do a second one, picture the gun you want ammo for and itll appear. She handed him the ammo-making wand and slipped the magazine into her kimono sleeves. Do not get fancy with it, think of a regular gun. Reload. He declared. Nothing happened. Reload. He repeated. Maybe if I had the gun on me... He muttered. Tanya took out her pistol, unloaded it, worked the action to remove the bullet in the chamber, and passed it to him. She then put the ammo back in her sleeves. She used foolamancy to instead make it look like she pulled out a gun that wasnt loaded and was visibly so to anyone watching. Yes, anyone reviewing the recording of the meeting would see her unload the pistol, but that sent a message that she didnt dislike. Thanks. Jost muttered, holding the unloaded pistol in one hand with proper trigger discipline and pointed upward, and waved the wand. Reload. He said insistently. Nothing happened. Ill be taking those back now. Tanya said, gently removing it from his hands to a disappointed look. Reload. She said, just to further prove it worked, creating another magazine. She then put the whole set back inside her kimono sleeves. I hope that settles that question? Why did you bring a gun here? Omeda, the representative of the Emperors staff, asked. To test if a feature worked here. Its the only thing I have that usually needs that particular enchantment. Tanya replied, Tell me General, did you notice anything odd about that gun? Have you handled firearms before? Of course I have. Jost said, mildly offended. No, it seemed normal. Tanya frowned. Well, does anyone here have absolutely zero firearms experience? One of the Economic ministers raised their hand. Here. Load this gun. She said, handing him a pistol and a magazine. After a few seconds of him awkwardly trying to load it, she bade him to stop trying and took the pistol back. Okay, that pistol was enchanted with a feature that taught you how to use it, so if that doesnt work, it doesnt look good for the same enchantment working with wands. She took out a piece of paper and started writing down the results of the test, sending it through the message hat. Crystal Tokyo. Several of the Japanese ministers gave her a weird look at the password. Well test it anyway. She explained. She took out another piece of paper. Now that the part where we each question the others integrity is out of the way She gave Jost a hard look, which sent a murmur of agreement among the Japanese members of the meeting. I have written down a list of effects that I think would be useful in a military context, keeping in mind that the scale of production is an issue; these items must be largely handcrafted by experts who will quickly grow bored of making thousands of the same item over long periods of time. Culturally, they highly value their freedom and a big part of that is being able to choose their work. Jost growled at the warning. Youre an Empress, though. He pointed out. Cant you just order them? If we were talking about the casters under my direct command, you would be correct. Tanya explained patiently. But that is a limited quantity: while its not strictly necessary to involve the disciplines that specialize in creating items to have a useful product, a lot of the potential options are superfluous with your technology. More to the point, theres only so much that making more money will satisfy my subordinates sense of Duty. She clicked her tongue in sympathetic disappointment. No, if you want any sort of quantity, I would need to commission the products from an international conclave of mercenary magicians, which is controlled by no one ruler. They can be motivated by money, but only so far: thus, the warning. These are not desperate third world peasants, and you should set expectations accordingly. She tapped the hats brim. Some influential members are cooperating, enough that I was able to get this made without any trouble, so I can more or less guarantee that all possible efforts will be made to do the necessary R&D, manufacturing capacity is another matter entirely. With the American properly browbeaten, both military personnel went through the list, asking about parameters for the less clear ones. Overall, it was rather productive; testing was arranged, and a few products were deemed to be worth the prices (in gold) that were quoted. It was still rather tedious, however: she would have vastly preferred just staying an eccentric streamer. --------------------------- It was in the middle of a stream that it happened. She was minding her own business, waiting for the matchmaking software to find her an opponent. She was playing something that she had enjoyed before her death, a sci-fi RTS that was still around. Unlike a lot of other American-made games, she got to enjoy very low ping due to all of those Korean servers. It did, however, mean she got her butt kicked a lot. She was getting better, though! Okay, so it looks like were playing against Tanya paused. ...CharlsecommOfficial. It couldnt be could it? A thinkagram alert appeared in her consciousness and also on her computer screen, and the latter opened automatically when the game finished loading. Not letting her shock stop her from beginning her build order, sending a worker to scout out the enemy base, she growled. Charlie. Hello, Princess! Charlies suave voice came from her computer speakers. Hello to you too, chat. Im Charlie, and today Im here to show off what makes me great: Winning! Odds are hes hacking. Tanya said idly, playing somewhat safely. Map hacks would be the least surprising thing he could be doing She opened up her foolamancy senses so she could see what her audience could see, and saw the Vtuber avatar Charlie was using: He looked like an anime character, of course; but chat quickly deduced which one: apparently, there was an anime with an alternate Britain conquering the world, and the Emperor there was named Charles. Hey, I never cheat. Charlie complained, offended. Okay. Tanya deadpanned, not bothering to engage the topic. So why did you decide to take time from your busy schedule to use your divine artifact to hack my stream? Cant I just enjoy playing games? Charlie asked rhetorically. Dont be so paranoid, youre being irrational. Tanyas eye twitched at the gaslighting attempt. You wouldnt give up an advantage like revealing you can breach dimensions without some kind of angle. Im just doing my own thing. Ah ah ah. Charlie tutted, Thats the thing, your Majesty: Youre not. Chat was going wild, of course: mostly questioning about this debut collaboration, because unlike her, Charlie was perfectly capable of mimicking the usual clearly CG aspects of normal Vtuber interactions. Or it was just a side-effect of him being a paralyzed whale of a unit. Given how he was perfectly capable of hiding that fact, it was definitely him purposely looking like his avatar had a stroke. Youre fixing to disrupt the delicate ecosystem that weve got going on over here, you know: If you thought Fate hated me for just doing what I can to survive, making use of the extra-universal channels like Im doing right now, its going to absolutely loathe you for bringing in millions of shmuckers from extra-universal banks. Fates just going to need to get in line. Tanya said, unconcerned. It was mostly a facade of bravado, but it wouldnt be the first faux-omnipotent entity that would have it out for her, so whats one more? Besides, you introducing guns did plenty on that front, far more than just accumulating obscene amounts of wealth. As Tanya had expected, Charlie knew everything she was doing, and was sending several harassment units at any weakness. However he wasnt actually practiced in the game. His macro was good, but his micro was clumsy. I wasnt the one who proliferated them. Charlie snapped. That was you. No, that was Jack. Tanya replied smoothly, dropping several units in Charlies main base to cripple his unit production. I would have been perfectly happy keeping things according to the unwritten rules, but Jack doesnt play by those. Some men just want to watch the Erf burn. After a moment, she added: But if you think for one minute that I was fooled by your gambit with the Yahtzees, with those Quality Educational Conferences, then your drug habit is compounding with senility. Hey now, Charlescomm may be the premier Battlespace Solutions provider, but that is not among the many services we offer. Charlie said, pretending to be offended. Nondisclosure agreements arent as ironclad as you think they are. Tanya said, scoffing as she steadily pulled ahead in the round. Specifically, by both turning a unit to a side that wasnt a signatory, then using thinkamancy to share the knowledge before the unit even realized they were breaking the nondisclosure, she got to be fully informed, and her enemy likely had to pay a penalty to Charlie on top of that. Actually, did Helmet have to pay a penalty for me prying it out of his commander? Im curious. I dont even know what youre talking about. Charlie insisted, still sticking to his story to the end. Nevertheless, I dont have any intentions on going to sack your pathetic hacker cave anytime in the foreseeable future, so go away before I remember that theres nothing actually stopping me from spending an hour or two every day flying over there and breaking something beyond my own good nature. Tanya said, right as she finished wiping out Charlies armies and going to town on his remaining infrastructure. GG no re. Infinite Move and mathamancy letting her snipe units from outside hexes with no penalty means that she could, theoretically, clear out Charlies airspace every turn without him being able to do a whole lot to stop her, unless he started pulling thinkamancy tricks that the Great Minds are reasonably certain he cannot accomplish. Worst case from his demonstrated capabilities, hell try and DDoS her, and Maggie doesnt need to be in her hex to shield her from those, just attentive. Whether she can handle the bandwidth he can output isnt quite clear, but it should give her enough warning to escape any trap he would try to ensnare her with or finish any action he tried to stop her from doing. I havent lost yet! Charlie said through gritted teeth. Suddenly, her game crashed, showing off her primary monitors background, which was a picture of Chibi and Tanyas duplicate posing with Chibis stack of archons, a photo she took with her phone before leaving. The background of the shot was the open sky, of course; the picture was taken from the towers balcony. Oh, you seem to have quit the game. Charlie said smugly, Looks like I win after all. The games not over until the fat baldy crows, I see. Tanya said, nodding to herself at the faux wisdom. Any parting words of wisdom from the worlds greasiest con artist? Charlie was silent as their mutual heartstring of hatred thrummed with meaning: he had just muttered something frustrated. Look, you are right that we both benefit from you being over there. The man admitted, But that only applies as long as you stay over there. Cross back over here again and Ill do more than just damage your MMR. He cut the connection. Tanya looked over the chat. Yeah, hes a Tool. I completely agree. Chapter 2.21 The chats reaction to Charlie was spirited. Memes flowed freely, and Tanyas mystifying ability to show some foolamancy in the live stream that the recording completely misses was a huge hit as she did a face reveal for Mao Chari for the fan artists. Dont go insulting him just because hes a fat cripple, though. Tanya warned after the next match was over with. Insult him because hes a contemptible con artist who makes sport of making extremely long and complicated contracts to screw over his customers. Tanya spent a moment reading chats replies to her statement. Oh, he runs a mercenary organization, with a dash of telecom giant. The artifact he used to hack my stream can also act as a global phone network, and he gets a lot of money just connecting calls telepathically. The casters that can use those spells normally really hate him. She looked over more replies. He fields these expensive mage-knights called Archons that can cast a limited list of spells, and more importantly can fly far and fast, allowing him to deploy along large swathes of the world. The most important feature, of course, is that they can channel his artifacts power for him, so he can actually handle the call volume he gets paid for. The messaging program that Tanya set up so that her parents can contact her without disrupting the stream showed a notification, so she checked that while letting chat come up with more questions about Chari. It looked like Grandfather, from the phrasing. The soldiers are on the phone again. Tanya quickly typed back: Tell them it can wait until after the stream. Or rather, when they take a two hour break to have dinner and transition to the nighttime stream, where she wears pajamas and plays more laid back, story-oriented games. If theyre calling about what I think they are, theyre already watching it. After a beat, the message program pinged again: Done. Now, back to chat. They mostly wear skirt suits, but thats not inherent to them: mine dress up as magical girls, thus my desktop background. She tabbed out to the desktop, showing it off again. I only have a few Archons, but I have a lot more ordinary flying knights that are cheaper to field; I plan on using my Archons as support units attached to my knight formations. An Archon with Leadership and at least one additional level of caster special besides the default shockamancy can be attached to a stack in the caster leader slot, and she planned on assigning her best foolamancy archons to those roles. They had, at Janis suggestion, hired some Signamancers to help her Archons get useful combinations of random specials rather than just rolling the dice; apparently Charlie used to hire out for that but decided that it wasnt worth the cost for his mass archon strategy, particularly as Janis explained that Archons were smart enough to plot against each other like courtiers and other commanders, and making specialist archons tended to bring that tendency out. As Tanya will be able to better protect her Archons, and a mixed unit composition means that spending extra on the expensive units causes no problems at all, she can still take advantage. For example, with Chibis honor guard, only one of the Archons was allowed to have Leadership (and another was popped to fill out the stack, whose name was Crone Owes), they only developed one level of dance-fighting each, one focused entirely on foolamancy (Amy), and the rest was a bunch of shockamancy levels. As a bonus, the non-honor guard archons will have their acquisitions weighted towards the excluded specials, which will excellently allow her to accumulate some dollamancy specialists to create sellable accessories. Of course the dresses are armor. Tanya said after reading more of the chat''s questions. The most basic trick that the magical clothiers have is making armor look like basically whatever they want without compromising function. Well, there were limits to signamancy. You couldnt be deceptive, as an example you couldnt make good armor that looks like tattered rags. Lingerie? Absolutely. Potato sack? No. It doesnt need to look durable or protective, but it did need to look expensive, or badass, or well, you could just make it look durable or protective. One of my subordinate rulers owns a bikini that gives a +5 armor bonus on top of a swimming bonus. Specifically, the Water-capable special, which makes one float and able to fight without penalty in water hexes that arent ocean. It does not let you breathe water. Thats a bigger bonus than you get from a shield wall. i.e. maxed stack bonus. Nero did have a tendency to overspend on the contents of her closet. She wore it when we invaded a beach city. One more No, Im 169cm tall. Everyone in the other world is just short. The average height is like 140 or something like that. Still, it was time to focus on the game. They have another hour or so until dinner, and they plan on fitting in three more matches if possible. --------------------------- What part of I didnt know he could do that confuses you? Tanya said into the phone as she waited for dinner to be ready. The only one in known history to attune to his artifact is him, the only reason I know as much about it as I do is because my subordinate is highly placed within the guild of casters whose jobs are most threatened by him. Maggie was inducted into the Great Minds Who Think Alike while Tanya was a barbarian, and while her membership was officially suspended while she was sided, it still gave her a reasonable amount of soft power within the collective. However, that artifacts part of a set, and the one that lets me cross over is a peer to it. Mine is oriented around Motion, transportation. His is oriented around communication instead. If you want something to tell people, just insist that no one accept his requests for communication, if he does telepathically reach out. What about the rest of this set? General Jost asked. Him handling calling her personally was a sign of respect, which she appreciated. Charlie has the other two as well, but their functions are a bit more direct. Less esoteric. More importantly, hes not attuned to them. So even if they did have functions beyond my understanding of them, he couldnt use them. Tanya weighed the odds of him finding out her little fib, and decided to be a little more honest. Dont mistake me; Charlie is a threat. His magical specialty is oriented around lies and cheating, so I wouldnt call his possession of the other artifacts harmless like I would if it was held by literally anyone else, but its not something you really need to worry about; his ideal scenario is me being alive, but without being a threat to him. Tanya glanced at the kitchen, using Recon to peer through the wall. Hm, maybe another two minutes. This means he would ideally try to sabotage my ability to cross the boundary while Im on this side. As all he can do is communicate, the most important thing for you to remember is that he is a consummate liar, and anything he says about me will be tailor-made to sabotage our working relationship or anything else to accomplish this end. ...Why does he want you alive? Jost asked, sounding like he very much did not want to know the answer to that. Complicated magic reasons. Tanya summarized, Prophecies are involved. Prophecies. Yes. Tanya said, One entire discipline of magic is all prophecies, so theres a lot of them going around. Its the whole reason were in conflict, hes prophesied to have his life ended by a warrior from another world. As long as I live, there wont be another one thats empowered to defeat him. This was actually part of the function of the Summon Perfect Warlord spell. There can only ever be one Perfect Warlord at any given time. Further attempts to cast it will outright fail. That wasnt to say that other people couldnt be summoned from other worlds, but they will not be Perfect Warlords. I may have overly simplified the conflict, but again, complicated magical reasons. This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. Can you see the future? Jost asked bluntly. Me? No. I have a wand that predicts the weather, and another that lets me detect imminent attacks, but thats about it. She sighed. Im not a big fan of the discipline, to be frank. The only thing that was a bigger headache than Predictamancy were the Predictamancers. ...My bosses are going to want a full write-up on what magic can do. He said insistently. Youre not getting one. Tanya said firmly. Most of it is just stuff that will lead your analysts to panic at the implications, without actually deserving it. Then theres the stuff thats actually scary, and Im not bringing that stuff over. Thats not going to make them feel better. Jost deadpanned. Tough. Tanya said, hanging up the phone. Huffing in frustration, she walked to the table where dinner was waiting. I humbly receive this meal! Really, the issue with giving the government types too much information on how Erfs mechanics work is that it might give them an excuse to dehumanize the people inside, so she had to be careful to not mention the stupider names, some of the effects of signamancy, and other things to make them think that Erf was a lot more like Earth than it actually was. It was an incredibly small step to move from most of the inhabitants of that dimension arent real people to all of them were philosophical zombies at best and thus arent real people, after all. It was why, if she ever got the chance to meet those vaunted Titans Well, lets just say that shed be completely unsurprised to see Being X in that Elvis outfit. Shell be treating them the same, nonetheless. --------------------------- Tanyas next trip back to Erf was as scheduled: Twenty turns back home, five dealing with whatever piled up while she was away. If there wasnt anything in particular to deal with, she just spent an enjoyable time with her units; Chibi most of all. This incentivized Chibi to do a good job as interim ruler, which in this case Welcome to the Tanya resisted the urge to sigh. -Holey Moley Empire. They didnt, strictly speaking, need a name for the empire as a whole, but practically speaking they did, and Chibi was the one tapped to do it. As was explained to you, your cities will only be upgraded to level 5 once the tunnel systems properly expand the reinforcement infrastructure to protect your holdings. Your Majesty, with the treasury as it stands, it would be easily affordable, and the increased income- Said her new subordinate, Steve Lord Capital Hill. He ran the side of Croger, which held some very fertile territory that nevertheless had next to no mining, a true breadbasket of a side. -would make the books look very impressive indeed. That was such a basic, unpersuasive point that she was actually a bit insulted that he thought it was compelling. She turned to Chibi, who was on the smaller throne next to her. How badly was he acting that you decided to pass the buck rather than deal with him? Tanya asked rhetorically. The Signamancy/Dittomancy magic should allow everyone to know what Id say if consulted, he should know he was wasting his time. I thought so too, Mom. Chibi said, smugly grinning at the odious Overlord. But you were going to meet with him anyway, so Tanya nodded, understanding. Yes, I would have wanted to see my new subordinate ruler for myself, regardless. She turned a look of disgust at the greedy Overlord, his suit screaming executive rather than ruler. Im not impressed. Steve bristled at the dismissal. Well maybe I dont want to be in your damn Empire! He shouted, which he really shouldnt have done. He immediately became a Barbarian, and the stack of knights he used to be a part of, with their livery now depicting her own symbol, immediately croaked him before Tanya could decide to order his capture. So thats what happens when someone breaks the agreement. Tanya mused, Someone call in Klein, we have a level 7 warlord body he can animate. She said it out loud, but Maggie moving her hand to her temple proved it was being followed. Oh, and someone get now-Overlord Howards Enormous Butt over here, he needs to personally affirm the agreement between our sides if he wants to stay in the alliance. Still, after the outstanding meetings were done, Tanya found herself in the airspace, dancing with her personal bodyguards with Chibis stack just for fun. A thinkagram from one of their utility Archons groups (they were 3-stacks spread throughout the territory, mostly for scout coordination) flashed in her head. Hm? What is it, Blossom? She asked. Blossoms image, a girl with long red hair affixed with a bow, white tights, and a short but simple red dress with a black horizontal stripe, appeared in her minds eye. Mojo the Jojos attacking Townsville! She sent, an undisciplined sense of alarm flooding the mental link. Townsville was one of Crogers cities, if she recalled correctly. Still vulnerable, in other words. Quickly consulting Maggie, the distance was 271 hexes. Which means shed need to spend about half a caster level per knight shed bring with her Send a full scout report. She commanded, and Blossom and her stackmates, Bubbles and Buttercup, gave her a reasonably accurate count. Okay, that was a lot of Jojos. They seemed to be accompanying the side of HIM? She wondered what it stood for Anyway, the enemy forces certainly seemed overwhelming but she casted some calculations. Okay, so odds of keeping the city was 37%? Not great odds they attacked with. If she brought just herself, that went up to 61%. Bring her own stack 72%. Bring Chibis too 97%. Yeah, doing it. Hey Chibi, want to protect our new subordinates? Tanya asked rhetorically. Chibi grinned good-naturedly. Off-turn? But how? She asked, covering her mouth in faux-shock. With the Titans and Turnamancy on our side! Tanya declared, taking out her turnamancy wand. It was an upgraded version of the basic wand that she could use to merely redistribute Move among units of the same kind, now able to allow her to expand the definition of same kind. Archons and her own knights were similar enough that it wasnt even remotely a problem. Conga! She shouted, binding all 26 other units in the airspace to her and starting to fly to intervene. The Arkenshoes gave you infinite move. You cannot have this move reduced below infinite. This means that she has infinite move at all times. Start of turn? Infinite Move. End of Turn? Infinite move. Off turn? Infinite move. At night? Infinite. Move. The amount of juice transferred move costs was dependent on how mobile the receiving unit is. As archons and her knights were among the most mobile units in existence, this meant it was relatively cheap. But it was a long way, and that meant each unit was expensive. That cheapness just made it possible at all for defenses to occur. As usual when she personally intervened, she spent a little bit of juice duplicating herself and promoting her own duplicate to ruler, allowing her to enjoy her Chief Warlord bonuses once again. The City of Townsville was under attack! The instant they arrived in-hex, the defenders redoubled their efforts from the massive spike in their Chief Warlord bonus. Chibi, this is your show. Tanya said, after they arrived. Who should engage what? You should have been reviewing Team Powderpuffs intel on the way over. Lets dance! Chibi announced. Team Powderpuff, you have dedicated your lives to fighting grime, and the forces of evil! She cleared her throat before striking a pose. Her stack of archons struck their own. Tanya spent some juice to support her plan with Rhyme-o-mancy. Fighting evil by moonlight, winning wars by daylight, never running from a real fight! She is the one called Princess Moon. She began, and the fight ensued. The sound of their guns magically just so happened to accentuate the music, as they slaughtered the Jojo army. Team Powderpuff personally beat up Mojo the Jojo, and victory was had without any casualties from the intervention force after Tanya healed up two downed archons. Mojo the Jojo. Tanya said icily as she loomed over the until-just-now incapacitated Chief of the Jojos. Being Charlies catspaw yet again? I thought you had learned your lesson last time: All you win by fighting me is a croaked tribe. We are enemies, opponents, peace cannot exist between us! Mojo the Jojo said in his usual rapid-fire tone. It is the nature of tribes and sides that we conduct war with the risk of decimation, large losses, mass casualties! After a brief questioning that was extended to a not-so-brief timeframe, confirming Charlies involvement via the presence of a nondisclosure agreement (which Tanya considered ironclad proof, given that literally no one else used them so ubiquitously) Mojo the Jojo was executed by Chibi, as were the rest of the Jojo survivors. There were a few captured infantry and such that were earmarked for a visit from Elya next turn, but that was a tiny fraction of the force sent to defeat them. Still, she needed to retaliate. She loaded up her duplicate with ammunition and sent it on its way to annoy Charlie, flying straight to Charlescomm and croaking whatever Archon it could find in his airspace. Once back in the capital, she had Maggie send a message, creating a secure channel straight to Charlie. Naturally, it was intercepted by an Archon, but Tanya tugged at the heartstring between them and seized his attention. Normally, this wouldnt do much, but given how angry he clearly was, it was tantamount to a compulsion, directing that emotional energy to the confrontation. Charlies mental avatar was that same red-suited blonde with clown makeup from the conversation where the Jojos betrayed them, but mutated into some demonic being, horns and fire along with red eyes and sharp teeth. You killed them. He roared, I warned you not to return! You dont get to dictate terms, Charlie. Tanya stated bluntly. I dont make empty threats. Neither do I. Charlie promised, before disconnecting. Chapter 2.22 (The End) It took Tanya an embarrassingly long time to figure out Charlies actual plan. At first, she thought him as arrogant; continually launching indirect attacks through catspaws to aggravate or weaken her. She thought herself clever for continually coming out ahead, her empire growing in territory and strength. But not in wealth. She thought his plan to get her to overextend; to spread her empire too a size too large to manage, so he could start wearing down her sides massive treasury. The agreements with Earth forestalled that, she thought. Through extensive testing, it was found that as she suspected, accessories did not recharge without the titanic moneymancy of upkeep sustaining them. This was known; if you unequipped an accessory that could recharge, like a barrier, which was a distinct process from merely taking it off, it would not recharge unless you equipped it to another unit whose accessory limit could handle it and paid their upkeep. Experiments with a high-capacity lithium battery failed to create accessories that could recharge with electricity. The collected dollamancers were still adamant that it was theoretically possible, but they could not bridge the gap without bringing in a shockamancers link, and that was not an acceptable solution. What was an acceptable solution were accessories that were not designed to be recharged, one-use barrier accessories. So draining her wealth via conventional warfare wasnt going to do much. But that wasnt his plan. No. She forgot who she was dealing with. After the sixth other side was eliminated and absorbed, either by getting the existing ruler to sign the agreement or by installing one of her own (She was running out of subordinates shed trust with such responsibility), suddenly literally everyone who shared a border with her were declaring war, assuming that theyd be next. Charlies Archons featured heavily, as well as Charlescomm branded firearms. Which is when the treasuries she looted started becoming absolutely pitiful, as war chests were spent in the face of percieved annihilation. This was Charlie. Of course he found a way to turn a profit over his proxy war with her. She was sickened with herself on how she couldnt see it until it was too late. She could cast the moneymancy and mathamancy, and her new signamancer could see the terms they pay. He was lawyer-like man by the name of Danny Cow, known colloquially as The Mad for his constant inebriation from his smoking habit making him seem insane and insistence of saying his name. Despite the name, his liverys symbol included a crane for some reason. Charlie was making a killing (pun intended) for every side Tanyas empire defeated. They were using traps that damaged the city enough to reduce any razing income, and the more her empire grew, the more aggravated their new neighbors became. At this point, shed be unable to do anything except conquer the world or lose everything. While their properly reinforced and fortified territories were quite difficult to attack, the newer territories were substantially less so, and they were much closer to the incoming attackers. Tanyas knights still represented a substantially potent scouting force, and there were plenty of them around to keep an eye out for any attacks within the fortified territories. Flying around with the Arkenshoes let her lend her strength as well as shift units short distances even off turn, frequently leading to her dealing with multiple battles a day. She even hit level 11, allowing her out of hex Chief Warlord bonus, when she duplicated herself, to reach a titanic +8. She even had to cut back on her trips back to Earth, spending only half-days there if she did at all. She put up a strong front, of course, to not compromise her bargaining position with the government, but they were getting suspicious. Soon enough, she faced another side that was powerful, able to bring out powerful 16-stacks of mounted knights that were led by strong warlords. Their Chief Warlord, Gru, had a powerful lookamancy artifact of his own, one that blinded everyone in the hex when used except himself. Well, him and anyone that his ruler, the powerful heretic Date-a-mancer Overlady Weaver, linked to his stack magically with date-a-mancy. It was what led to this: This plan is suicidal. She groused. Everythings going to be fine. Jack said cheerily, from his position as the leader of the stack. Were acting in accordance to a Prediction, after all. Whats more, over half of you still have unfinished business. Fate would be inescapably snarled if we lose so we wont! Riley hummed in agreement. Everyones got their bonus hits, right? She asked. [Empress Tanya von Degurechaff] Hits: 21 (11) (32) Yes Tanya said. It had been rather novel to finally have enough hits to theoretically survive one rifle shot, and now it was nigh impossible for her to croak to any less than four. She looked over the other members of their little caster kill squad. There were Jacks other contemporaries, of course: Riley, Fortuna, and Count Harbinger. In addition to that, there was the unpopular date-a-mancer Princess Cherry Vaseline, a slick caster who Tanya expected to betray them all if convenient, and the Dollamancer Alan, who was a good friend of Maggies preferred dollamancer Ken. He had some kind of golem armor that made him look like a mannequin, but also gave him knight-class combat stats of his level. It was basically a small-scale version of the Heroic Mecha she used to have, as she understood it. The two additional casters were no less strange: Miss Manton was a carnymancer who wore nothing but body paint and tattoos, which did a good job of conveying her circus freakshow aesthetic without making her ugly. She had those knight-class stats honestly, by random chance. Only about one in 20 casters had them, although naturally a strike force like this held a disproportionate amount of them. Finally, Lady Shatterpoint didnt offer her actual name, but she was the stacks dirtamancer, who apparently was a big fan of using spells that let her act as siege. She wore stained glass armor that granted flight. Of course, with Tanyas ability to use the Warlord slot in the stack, that meant they had space for one golem in the stack. By dint of it was made precisely for this job, they used a unit that Riley made. It was the culmination of the intersection of Croakamancy and Healomancy, yadda yadda yadda, point it it was a horrible abomination made of severed limbs and still-living units stitched together that [The Crawler, level 9] Combat: 60 Defense: 60 Hits: 144 Move: 14 Specials: Heavy Conditions: Flight, Hard, Transport was the single-strongest unit that Tanya had ever seen that wasnt some sea monster that was meant to engage ships instead of ordinary units. She was reasonably certain shes seen such sea monsters that were slightly weaker than this thing. Tanya also fed Jack juice for his masterful conversion of Tanyas infinite move into replenishing The Crawlers movement, as well as making it fly with his weirdomancy. So they can actually get there. Brock Bae was a coastal capital that was nigh impossible to get to over land, a bunch of mountains cutting it off from the rest of the landmass, unless you went through the nearby safari zone. Safari zones were special places that had horrifically dense feral pops, daemons most of all, and frequently exceptionally hostile natural ally tribes as well. Control over such a zone made for excellent training opportunities, real danger that had little to no diplomatic consequence, perfect for getting the first few levels for your warlords, if they had a good monster in their pocket to do most of the fighting. Viridian Forest was a hazard zone filled with insect-type ferals, and to a side ruled by an aggressively domineering date-a-mancer? It might as well be an army generator, because thats how Overlady Weaver used it. Besides her Leadership, Tanya was primarily responsible for using Foolamancy to conceal their approach, as the prophecy required an attack on Brock Bae. Slipping in undetected was easy; yeah, there was a startlingly large amount of insect scouting stacks, but between their ability to take long routes and Tanyas ability to roll spot checks from adjacent hexes, slipping the net was simplicity itself. It also helped that they were attacking at night. It was the first time she was using this function of the Arkenshoes, but this outing functioned as multiple tests. The attack itself was easy, actually. Even attacking at night didnt stop everyone in the hex from suddenly noticing that the city was being contested; while it was theoretically possible to use foolamancy to suppress that sense, it was the kind of trick that was usually reserved for Headmasters. So, they instead used a more blatant method of introducing themselves. Despite the name, Rhyme-o-mancy didnt always have to rhyme. Or rather, it did, but it didnt always need you to use words. Tanya was using a rhyme-o-mancy effect known as Cresendo; it built up power over time, allowing a rhyme-o-mancer to amplify an effect. With multiple casters involved, it could even provide a synergistic effect similar to a linkup, for one big spell. It wasnt nearly as blended of an effect as it would be normally, but it was still good. In this case, Cherry was building up an aftershock spell that would unstack the whole hex besides her own, with a small chance of the targets getting confused enough to even attack their comrades. Units vulnerable to this would be isolated ones, that have few connections to their side and comrades. Columbine, U.T., Parkland, Uvalde She muttered as Tanya continued to wordlessly sing, the musical accompaniment traveling to everyone in the city of Underwhere. Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. Shatterpoint was chanting to build up an Erfquake as well. Loma Prieta, Hawaii, New Madrid, Long Beach In addition to them, Count Harbinger was casting mathamancy to help them optimize their spells as well. It wasnt a trick she had considered using before, but then again she usually doesnt use large enough effects for there to be a lot of wasted energy. Fault Slip, Stochastic Karas, Sadiki, Watanabe, White Fortuna chanted, hexing the rolls of their enemies to maximize the enemy casualties. Everyone else held back their juice, as there was very little chance of even this much successfully winning the battle on its own. That would be for the cleanup crew. Alan cast spells to sharpen his golem armors limbs, Jack passed around some combat weirdomancy, Riley was ready to heal any damage taken, and Miss Manton readied a spell to make the stack invulnerable to whatever the first dangerous thing they saw was. Everyone finished their spells at the same time, of course. Her magical music ensured it. -SANDY HOOK! -SAN FRANCISCO! -GUTENBURG-RICHTER! -PACKER! With the last of the songs she was binding together finished, Tanya screamed out in an operatic high note, holding it for as long as possible. As she did, the many glass windows of Brock Bae shattered, the distinctive pewter fixtures lit up with powerballs snuffing out from the power of the Erfquake. The enemy tower, the Meadhall Gym, collapsed immediately, inflicting massive damage on everything that was inside. Which did not include Overlady Weaver. She had a sixteen stack of knights wearing insect-themed armor riding Atlases, giant flying beetle units with a map-sensing Findamancy special. Darkness started to spill around them as Grus artifact started to conceal them. She had clearly used her magic to counter Cherrys attempts, reinforcing her stacks bonds to survive the wide-area magic. This was where Tanyas contribution really mattered; as her bonuses meant that those surviving units couldnt just tear them apart. Overlady Weavers stack started firing their rifles, because of course she had at least that many, but Miss Mantons spell, which cannot simply make them immune to guns for what Tanya assumed was the same reason guns ignored Flower Power, instead rigged the screening rules, making every single shot that hit them instead affect The Crawler. Given that Overlady Weavers elite knights could only muster 43 combat, against The Crawlers 60 defense they could only hit 2.5% of the time, so despite unloading their full magazines, the resulting 270 attacks hit about ten times. Which was not enough to defeat the massive beast even before Jack reinforced its skin, which multiplied the number of shots required by about five. Although it would have admittedly gotten close without that bonus. Their return fire was much more effective, although Overlady Weaver had a flight pack to keep her in the airspace. They conquered the rest of the city instead, automagically capturing her in doing so, and the invasion ended with Fortuna taking her pistol and shooting the Overlady in the back of the head. Twice. See? Easy. Jack said after Signing the agreement to become her vassal as the new ruler of the city, his side now named Horrorshow. Riley immediately signed on as his Chief Caster along with Miss Manton and Alan, but the rest of the stack just went back into the Magic Kingdom, purses heavy with Shmuckers and their pockets full of gems. When Tanya used the Magic Kingdom as a shortcut back home, she was greeted with two additional declarations of war, and one of them was spotted as fraudulent. Thats it. --------------------------- Tanya liked to think of herself as a lover of peace. It was true, to a certain extent: She saw having to go inflict violence as a chore that shed rather not do, even if she would admit that the actual combat was actually quite fun. War planning was also quite engaging and enjoyable, too. But nevertheless, she would prefer a world where all such matters were strictly simulated. She would always make at least an attempt at a peaceful resolution before resorting to violence, which rarely worked out. Which is why she took so long to finally make a decision: Charlie had to die. He was pretty much the only one left on Erf that was dangerous enough that she didnt feel the luxury of mercy, and the fact that all of his actions were so indirect also gave her pause; what if she was wrong and blaming him for things he wasnt actually responsible for? He did keep denying culpability But that was how carnymancers functioned. Being hated enough to be shunned, but not enough to be killed, because then youre the bad guy. Charlie. Tanya spat, opening up a thinkagram. Arranging for Chibis capture is the last straw. Charlie sarcastically acted afraid. He was using the shape of an older man this time, white haired and stooped with a cane, but nevertheless retaining a vitality, dressed in khakis and a sweater with a bomber jacket, a tiny moustache giving him a hint of class. Me? Oh no, youve got the wrong guy. Besides, whats the problem? You paid the ransom and got her back. Then you destroyed Wiseman for his temerity, and turned her head right back to standard. He rubbed his hands together, as if dusting them off. No harm, no foul. You have two choices. Tanya said icily. First, you surrender unconditionally. Turn your entire side to mine, and I will split it off into a new side. She grinned wolfishly. Or, I croak you personally instead of disbanding you. Hardly much of a choice, now isnt it? Charlie said petulantly. I agree. Tanya said, But there is one major difference: By surrendering, all of your field units remain alive. Youre already a dead man, so it makes no difference to me, but She shifted her face to an expression of faux-sympathy. -I was under the impression that you actually cared about your girls. After all, you give them purpose, like renting them out as call-girls who also go on suicide missions when the sex gets too boring. Tanya took a moment to think about what she just said. You know what? I see where I erred in thinking that. The Archon involved with the call was absolutely furious at the imprecation on Charlies character. Charlies own heartstring actually felt hurt by the insult. Youll kill them all, then? Images of the archons in question flooded the thinkagram. Tanya shrugged. I was willing to put off your demise. For years, even. She said honestly, I didnt see much profit in risking my life against your deathtrap. I was a fool for thinking that you could ever comprehend, much less accept that the only thing keeping you alive was my own good nature. She waved her hand, turning each of those archons images into aggressive dogs with collars. They started flashing, like a bombs countdown. Just because your armies will fall with you is no reason to hold back. Their survival is entirely on you. Last chance She drew her lightsaber, activating it and pointing it at his thinkagram image. She stopped right before the image of her lightsaber intersected his own. Youre bluffing. Charlie said firmly. Now, as for what I may or may not be doing to your side He grinned evilly. How much are you going to pay me to stop? Well, thats that. Good riddance. She said firmly, taking a step forward as the thinkagram broke. Not because she ended it on purpose, but because she stabbed him, and his eyes were already turning into Xs. A flash of red light brought him back to life, and Tanya coldly said: The Arkenshoes can walk over any distance, through any connection. She said simply, shooting him with her pistol to prevent him from using carnymancy to save himself. She had fibbed a bit; it required a date-a-mancy connection of sufficient strength, but her rage at him counted. Charlie turned to dust. Alarms went off everywhere, of course, and the archons that were his personal attendants went berserk, but She had prepared for this. The archons shockamancy failed against the protective carnymancy she had cast on her, making her immune to all shockamancy. It just grounded out, as her Fate had been snarled into that of the ground. As for their guns? Well, she had the faster draw, more Defense than they had a hope of overcoming, and a barrier on top of that. She had Maggie open up a thinkagram again after she cleared the room, taking the Arkenpliers and Arkenhammer with her as she stepped across the connection once more. Once done, she flew the long way to Charlescomm, shooting any archon that was in the airspace dead without even entering the hex, then flying in and personally shooting each and every one of the remaining Archons, as they suicidally rushed her in order to stop her from exactly what she did after they were all croaked. With that handled, she touched the Arkendish, commanded it to shrink, and then flew back to leave it at home. With the parts of Charlescomm she actually wanted dealt with, it was just a matter of clearing out the hundreds of golem defenders and the traps. She had to bring a team for that one, essentially repeating their invasion of Underwhere: Erfquake to break the traps, clear out survivors, and Charlies massive store of shmuckers was now under her control. Finally. It was a long turn, but Charlescomm was finished. --------------------------- Hello again everyone! Tanya shouted, her face the very image of excited joy. Im so glad to have finally managed to set this up, welcome to my castle! Tanya had wondered what an unattuned Arkendish could do. As it turned out, that answer was primarily nothing thats actually useful. Tuning the thing to accomplish anything specific was incredibly annoying, even with Archons and a Master-class Thinkamancer to help. Why did the remote control have so many buttons! However, things like accessing other dimensions wasnt dependent on that, instead being dependent on how big the dish was. So she could access her home computer back on Earth, from Erf, but in order to do that shed have to accept never being able to use it for anything else without needing to spend several hours tuning it away and then again to tune it back. Tanya took that tradeoff in a heartbeat. So now she could have the best of both worlds! Joy. So, today were just relaxing. Ive had a long day in the war room, so I just want to chill. Theres this farming game my mother recommended to me that were going to try out. She started up the game while watching chat freak out. What, was Chibi having fun in the airspace with her Pretty Guardian Archons too much for them? Wait. Tanya turned her head around and shouted at them. Keep it shoujo over there! She projected, her voice resonating. This is not a josei stream! No yuri allowed! Chibi giggled at finally getting a rise out of her. But thinkamancy meant she both understood and obeyed the Order, and her archons stopped kissing. Okay, Mom! She shouted back. Kids. Tanya said, shaking her head. Chat was going on and on about seiso, which Okay, you can just ignore my little Princess over there, shes just having fun with her bodyguards. Now, farm time. After a moment, she added, in response to chat: Do I look old enough to have a kid that age? Shes my heir, which makes her a Princess. Im not saying anything else on the subject. --------------------------- Tanya spent alternating days between Erf and Earth, unless there was a special occasion of some kind. Whenever she found the time to relax with some videogames, she streamed, and without Charlie stirring the pot, things at the borders eventually calmed down. Well, to be more precise, her empire had grown to encompass the entire continent, and the only enemies left were sea-based sides. She expected Fate to come kick over her sandcastles at some point, but letting her subordinates make massive fleets of ships and go off conquering other lands to split off new colony sides to their hearts content seemed to stave that off. Her income from trades with Earth continued to grow as more products became commercially viable, although she made sure to keep things still relatively limited. Eventually, after about four years she conquered the Erf. No one? Janis said with awe as Tanya relaxed. I wasnt that surprised to find out the Erf was round, but it is. Tanya said, humming as she bit into the Delicious Fruit that Janis had provided her. It slipped from her hand, but she caught it before it rose too high in the air. It tasted somewhere between an apple and a cherry, it was quite good. I checked Portal Park, too. Only one side in the entire world is not part of my empire. She gestured around to the rest of the Glade. You know the one. Ah, right. Janis said, flushing in embarrassment. So no more war? Not on my watch, at least. Tanya said simply. I mean, Ive got teams making a world map, trying to find every lost city site, but once thats done? Theres just nothing left to do. Well need to figure that out. She demured for a bit, not really comfortable. Its probably a good thing that Noah and his lady friend are staying out of my Empire, honestly. She confided. The Titans might notice if I controlled literally every city site, and do something about it. Janis nodded understandingly. Itll be hard, having a world without war, but we can do it. All we can do is the same thing in every world: Tanya said, Survive as long as we can, and enjoy ourselves to the fullest while were doing it. She chuckled. If Fate wants this world to fall to ruin? To take my peace away? Theyll have to come down and take it from me, sword in hand. Spoken like a true Ruler. And thus began the Argent Silver Millennium, a time of peace.