ã€ŠThe Jade Archon - Melancholy Sci-Fi Fantasyã€‹


 1: The Jade Archon

    In the beginning, there was Tian, also known as the one. And from this one came two. And from two came the myriad things.

    The second was known as Li, or Reason. When reflected within the world, it is known as Sakras, or the Jade Archon. From the immeasurable reason of Tian, it gave shape to the world, so that living things might embrace this reason and use it to grasp hold of the source.

    Sakras pulled from the sky the sparks of heaven, using them to fashion for his court a host of royal deities. And he reached to the ground, creating humanity as his servants by pulling a cord through the dusts of the earth.

    After he completed this, Sakras retired to his court, where he presides over the world, with him and his deities watching over humanity and over the four corners of the earth. Guiding people via the roles they are given and through their filial piety.

    Or so we have been told.

    But the Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.

    <hr>

    In the land of Fusang, in the heart of the western metropolis, there is a wave of neon-lit skyscrapers that pierce the heavens, casting an iridescent glow upon the busy streets below. The surfaces of these skyscrapers are etched with the scars of a thousand holographic billboards, flickering with the all-too-ephemeral promises of a better life.

    Though the world had developed technologically with time, humanity has found itself reliving its past in an endless cycle, emerging as if from of a fractal tree, sprouting itself anew at each seeming terminus. Generations come and go, each of them promising their descendants the vision of pure lands distinct from the toil of the mundane world, but then offering as a way to this future only the outdated frailties of the past as guidance. As a reflection of humanity at large, the city was a testament to this recursion.

    At the center of this recursion was the temple of the Jade Archon. This temple was the core of society and, by extension, culture. The temple itself had a structure that defied conventional wisdom. Though it stood above the level of the surrounding skyscrapers with a design reminiscent of the gilded palaces of old, it also extended far beneath the city''s surface, sprawling into directions unknown. The basement of the palace itself was at the center of a hole in space, with the reaches of its structure extending beyond reality as commonly understood and into the depths of hyperspace. What form it took there, one could only imagine.

    The temple had an important function that was used by families in society. Throughout their life''s journey, individuals would tend to make several pilgrimages to this sacred place to establish a connection with their ancestors and receive wisdom from their spirits. Here, the ancestors would be summoned from the machine of heaven, a repository of their information that is stored beyond the mortal planes. This would be projected into a hologram that one would speak with and recount various aspects of the family''s dealings.

    Despite its stifling presence, officially, there was no requirement to make use of the temple. The temple guards would not show up at your house to scrutinize your lack of participation, though their presence was often felt implicitly, and certain rabble-rousers tended to disappear from time to time. It was usually your family you were more afraid of. For many, their family would answer to the social structures, and they themselves were pressured by their family in turn. And so society became self-policing. Like a panopticon under the watchful eye of something no one had seen for millennia.

    But today was different than all other days. Today was the day of Mei''s visit to the temple.

    Lan Xiumei had been demure ever since she was a young girl, usually preferring, as a result, the more simple name Mei to the full Xiumei. She trained in swordplay and painting from a young age and had dreams of being a semi-professional painter, though her family regarded her dreams with a mixture of indifference and skepticism, viewing them as mere distractions from their own visions for her future. Initially, she used to protest their plans, though as the pressure had ramped up over time, that was becoming infrequent, and her visits with her family adopted more of a tone of compliance.

    Mei had been a forgotten child. Her parents had wanted a boy, as many in the culture did. But they had had three girls in succession before their first and only boy. She was the youngest of the three girls, and so was dismissed both on account of age and gender. As a result of this, she received little to no praise growing up, and was given no faith in her abilities. But despite this, she was expected to perform at the top levels all the same.

    Try as she might, she couldn''t live up to the expectations that were placed on her. As many in her situation did, she hoped to bide her time until a point where they considered her path reasonably sufficient to at least begrudgingly diminish the harassment... or failing that, to simply give up on her entirely, allowing her the freedom this lack of expectations might hopefully bring. But this moment never came. Rather than easing up, they only acted more hostile over time, beginning to speak of the need to cover up their shame over the loss of status they claimed her existence caused. Very little need was felt to actually justify the idea that she was bringing shame, nor to explain what exactly the shame she caused was. This was treated as a fact of life - something that was beyond question.

    And if it is bad enough for the living to dictate your life, it is made no easier when they are empowered by countless generations of the hungry dead. And so, as a manifestation of culture, the spirits of the dead are called forth to propagate the will of the family. And by extension, the will of Sakras.

    Today, she was to be given the proposed final plan for her future. Though of course, the word proposed suggests that it was being treated as a mere suggestion. But this was far from the truth. In actuality, they expected little resistance. In fact, they would tolerate little resistance. For such is the way of the family. On and on. Group after group. Day after day. Year after year.

    But today was different than all other days. Today was the day of Mei''s visit to the temple.

    <hr>

    The stairs to the temple were long and ostentatious. Although there was a statue of the serpentine deity in front, it wasn''t really the focus of the experience, being treated as more of an abstract concept that was secondary to those whose guidance you generally came to seek. To some, little was made of the deity at all these days. Many families barely remembered the legends, treating the temple as more practical and utilitarian - as a tool of communication between this world and the other planes. Some had only a tenuous grasp of what even went on outside the ancestor shrines, although many would not admit this publicly if asked.

    Mei glanced up as she ascended the staircase, with her long black hair trailing listlessly behind her. She had been here many times before, but she suspected that after today, they didn''t intend to call her again. At least not if they could help it. Her family had never quite caught on that their desire to keep her in line didn''t automatically result in immediate compliance. Each time they would act baffled anew that she had a desire to carve out her own life, forgetting each previous time that she had protested like it had never been.

    She had already deciphered why she was being called; not that it was especially hard, of course. To hide the purported shame they believe she caused them, they intended to coerce her into getting married as a kind of veil. She reflected on the fact that she had not heard even word yet of the person who this would supposedly be with, and so hence they didn''t think much of her opinions on the matter. Whoever it was was no doubt viewed as interchangeable with their status. And her as indistinguishable from a piece to be bargained with. After the arrangement, they no doubt intended to all but forget about her, at least in terms of any interactions besides further demands that is.

    Entering into the colossal structure itself, she checked in with the cyber-rite-sages at the entrance, sliding her wrapped bundle below the table and hoping it avoided scrutiny. The rite-sages give you something they call a ring chip for your stay. The benign name and ambiguous description of it as for easier info transfer belies the darker truth that it functions essentially as an inhibitor. In practical terms, it makes it so they can prevent you from doing anything that would be a threat to the temple. But a more implicit use of it is to make your body physically more receptive, and by extension, your mind.

    After check in, she was led by armored temple guards down the halls to the room designated for her own temporary ancestor shrine. The temple was so large that this journey could take some time, even though there were transport modules to speed up the process. As she walked, she felt a sudden stinging pain in her arm, but she had expected this already, and tried to suck it up for the duration. She looked up at the guards leading her, hoping they wouldn''t notice her discomfort. Though from beneath their body armor one could sense no feelings, and at any rate they didn''t seem to show any awareness.

    The room itself was utilitarian and non-assuming when she arrived, glowing in dim blue light. While it had rows of servers to the side flitting with red lights, the back of the room had no wall, opening to a wide open space behind it that connected to the central gap of the building that went deep below where your sight could follow. On the far end of the room was an open ancestral altar. While people also had symbolic altars like these at home, the home versions didn''t have the actual ability for direct communication, having a more decorative and symbolic role.

    She walked up and placed an orange on the altar. On the opposite side, she lit a stick of incense, pointing it inward.

    Returning to kneel on the provided pillow, she sat with her eyes closed for a short time. Eventually, she glanced up, her eyes resting on the solitary orange that she had brought out of tradition and thinking about its intended purpose. The spirit couldn''t eat it. Was there a room underground where piles upon piles of oranges were being secretly collected?

    But she didn''t have long for quiet thought. Emanating from the server wall, a series of wires began to slither up to her, like disembodied snake tails, and connected themselves to her left arm that bore the ring chip, making it begin to feel like a heavy chain.

    Ahead of her, a light shone, its digital contours cascading around the room, until finally a hologram began to solidify, and they were pulled together into the outline aura of a human shape. This form slowly coalesced into existence, as if remembering itself, and stood firm and proud.

    Mei bowed to the ground.

    ¡°Hello, revered ancestor. I have come for guidance at the behest of the family.¡±

    Of course, she wanted nothing of the sort. But the latter part of her greeting was, at least, true.

    Her hyper-grandmother''s name was Lan Mingzhu. Mei knew only a little about her in life; she couldn''t even remember how many generations back she was. But she had been chosen as the family avatar who was the primary icon of it in death. While other spirits were sometimes contacted by family members, Mei had rarely seen any personally. The ones she had seen summoned were usually female, although she did not know why.

    In the end, it mattered little. They weren''t there to speak for themselves (though at times they did give anecdotes from their own past lives), but to be the voice of the family. Of countless generations of perpetuation of the family''s same ideals. And of ruthless persecution of any deviation. Mei wondered what they did when the family wasn''t interacting with them. If anything.

    Her ancestor looked down at her with a blank expression.

    ¡°Welcome, child. We have matters to discuss. But it will take some time. Tell me, have you eaten?¡±

    Mei reflected on the strangeness of the question. She considered saying she had some oranges on the way here, but thought that it might be a bad way to begin.

    ¡°Yes. Thank you for your concern. You don''t need to worry about me.¡±

    Her ancestor''s expression turned cold. Mei was annoyed at how little it took to cause this. She tried to avoid conveying any sadness about this as her ancestor continued on.

    ¡°Do you still spend time painting?¡±

    Mei responded in an even tone. She didn''t like how stiffly she was expected to speak.

    ¡°Yes. I still practice frequently, although I''ve been too busy to do it as much of late. But I think I''ve gotten better at it.¡±

    Her ancestor responded back. ¡°But you don''t make much money doing it, do you?¡±

    Mei was annoyed by this. She had never intended for it to be a major source of income. Although she wanted it to be more than just a hobby and had hoped to get some degree of attention to her works, she didn''t actually expect much, all things considered.

    ¡°No. But I get by. I can take care of myself.¡±

    Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

    Her ancestor scoffed. ¡°Perhaps not very well.¡±

    Mei was a little bit hurt by this. She did have problems in life, as most did, but she made sure to never be a major burden on her family. But little good it did her to try not to, since to them, existing in any way other than as exactly what they wanted from her already constituted a burden. And for that matter, sometimes even existing exactly how they did want was still treated as a burden all the same.

    ¡°Well, regardless, you need to put a stop to this. We arranged for something for you. You have been unmarried too long, and people will talk about the Lan family''s unwed daughter.¡±

    Oh boy, here it comes, Mei thought to herself.

    ¡°We found a good man for you. He is a doctor and comes from a respectable family. You can meet him tomorrow, as it has already been arranged with your parents. We believe this man will take good care of you.¡±

    Of course he was a doctor. Mei didn''t even want to ask how old he was. She''d probably be lucky if he was within a decade and a half of her own age. She also liked how she was talked about as if she was a passive observer that just needed to be taken care of. If this is how they saw her, why did they have to push her so hard for success that she couldn''t live up to? If they thought of her like an inert object, they could at least have the decency to have comparable scales of expectation.

    But there was no easy way to do it, so she had to just do it. She didn''t want to beat around the bush or to drag this out any longer than needed.

    ¡°Sorry, revered ancestor, but I am going to have to respectfully decline. I have a life and calling for myself already. You are no doubt familiar, as I have spoken on this matter before.¡±

    Her ancestor scoffed, much to Mei''s dismay, although not to her surprise.

    ¡°You aren''t serious. Those weren''t real life plans.¡±

    Mei responded back without breaking face.

    ¡°You know, I''m doing all right. I don''t really have any problems. I don''t need you to decide these things for me.¡±

    Though Mei''s life was nothing flashy, this much was also true. In a sense, at least. In truth, she did have some problems, and many of them were fairly large. But a good chunk of them were because of her family themselves. But needless to say, this is not something you could tell them. Not even if they were dead.

    Her ancestor shook her head.

    ¡°You''re wrong. This isn''t good enough at all. Not for the Lan family. The way you are acting is selfish. You need to think more about the family. People only give you respect because of the family''s reputation. Without us you are nothing.¡±

    Mei was getting a little frustrated at this point. Her tone became a bit more aggressive, despite her initial intent to conceal her demeanor.

    ¡°You know, I''ve never even met this person you are talking about. Without even any information, what exactly should my motivation be for considering your idea a meaningful suggestion at all?¡±

    Her ancestor stood up straight at this seeming offense, making a haughty expression and looking ruffled.

    ¡°Don''t speak of what your family does for you this way. Do you know how hard your parents worked for you? You will be happy with him. He is a good son. He is a doctor and has a high status.¡±

    Mei rested her arm on her free hand, annoyed that her ancestor was repeating herself at this point.

    ¡°Is that right?

    Her ancestor went on:

    ¡°Your life has brought shame upon us. You need to be more reasonable. You have to be realistic about fixing what you have done and not chase personal fantasies.¡±

    Mei gave up on paying attention and began to zone out of her harassment. She began to reflect on the fact that at this point her ancestor wasn''t even bothering to list details for this supposed shame anymore. It was treated as an axiom that Mei herself was expected to believe was accurate. There was no conception of a difference of opinion, merely herself, apparently willfully choosing to be wrong.

    Selfish, realistic, reasonable. She had heard each of these words so many times. Often, they weren''t even connected to any supporting point. It was like they were being read off of a checklist that one wanted to make sure they hit all the target words for. As if they had seen this all play out before and felt the need to propagate it in a repeating pattern. With each new generation being absorbed into the system and passing the checklist between them to use on the next child, in a cycle of abuse.

    She never stopped wondering what exactly the ostensible standards of propriety and shame that she was being held to were. And why they seemed so selectively applied based on the family member being assessed. While these ever-shifting standards had common threads at times, they were far from internally consistent. And yet your family would still commonly speak as if the weight of all society was behind their words. This being the case even for things you would struggle to find as a consistent standard elsewhere. Sometimes winning simply isn''t possible. Even if you try to become what they want you to be, they may have already decided they are the type of people who will never be happy.

    Her situation was not unique, of course. In many families, there would be a division between roles. From little more than birth order and gender, you could have a role assigned to you that you were expected to play without question. But the implicit roles were often more insidious. Such as being the one who takes warrantless blame for things no one wanted to accuse the chosen golden child of. She had long been jealous of people from other families who were less ruthless. Or even of her siblings, who had been given a better role by the mere standard of their birth.

    Mei thought back to her childhood and to the first time she had visited the ancestor shrine with her parents. When you are younger, your parents do normally come with you, although not always. The first time she met her ancestor, Mingzhu, she had been a child. Her parents had had such a big smile on their faces and a much larger willingness to praise her over the smallest things. Her ancestor had been the same back then.

    But over time, their smile had faded. It shifted from a smile to a blank expression. Eventually to a frown. Mei wondered if her ancestor herself had changed. But could you even change if you were a ghost? Or are you just a static call of tradition, relied on to be an unchanging authority wielded as a club by your family, who needed you as a manifestation of the demons of their own?

    She ruminated on a thought that she had long wrestled with. That the truth might be far scarier. That perhaps her family had always been like this, as long as she had known them. Their pride in children might be limited by the child''s own lack of ability to exist as their own person. And that the more they developed their own personality and their own path in life, the less they were appreciated. That they might become seen as like a disease, spreading to the body of the family, and which needed to be cleansed. Or, in extreme cases, cut out.

    Mei held back tears, thinking of the future she had dreamed of as a child but which she had never been given the opportunity for, with it always slipping away as she tried to grasp it. Her family accused her of not caring about family. But the truth is that she cared intently ¨C stronger than they could ever know. As a child, she made gifts for them. At the time, she remembered feeling a little sad to note that the gifts remained unused. Though at the time, she was willing to consider this a fluke or a flaw of her own. By the time she was a teenager, she would already spend hours at a time staring at the wall, wondering what it would take to make them love her. As an adult, she bent over backwards to try to accommodate them and make time for them, hoping they would appreciate the effort. But they didn''t accept anything but total compliance. And they took any attempt to reach out to them as a sign of weakness. Of the resistance cracking, hoping they could finally control her completely.

    Child. She thought of herself reaching back through time to her child self. Telling her to stay strong. Because the future would not be forgiving to her. But who would say such a thing to a child who hadn''t yet been hit with the cruel reality of how they would suffer? To a child who still felt like they were loved? Who could still take joy in their family? And who believed it would be like this forever.

    But such is the nature of change. Nothing is forever. And... this, too, shall pass. So to all the children, stay strong.

    Mei opened her eyes. She realized that while she had been lost in thought, that some time had passed. Her ancestor was still rambling about something, though she assumed that it wasn''t something particularly important.

    But it was time. She was ready now. It was never easy to cut off someone you wanted to believe you could keep. But it was often necessary. And it could be painful... Like losing a part of yourself.

    She stood up slowly, causing her ancestor''s speech to trail off. And spoke with a newfound determination.

    ¡°Well then, let''s put an end to all this. Sorry, but...¡±

    She looked down.

    ¡°I answered you already. And I''m done talking about it. So... let''s change the subject.¡±

    Mei flipped an electronic chip out of her pocket and held it up with her free hand.

    "Do you see this? This is the final override key. The White Lotus. I know you know what this is.¡±

    Mei closed her eyes and made a sad expression.

    ¡°I know that you know this because I know that you worked on it yourself once. In another life. Before you gave all of that up."

    She looked down at the chip between her fingers.

    "It has been several centuries in the making. And now it has finally been completed.

    "Make no mistake, this wasn''t done by me. This isn''t something I personally could have worked on. Not everyone is suited for everything, after all. Though... perhaps that is not something you understand. At least, not any longer.

    ¡°But... I have been training for the last ten years, all in preparation for this moment.¡±

    Shock had been on her ancestor''s face for some time. But gradually, it shifted to a tone of aggression.

    ¡°Stupid child. You are acting crazy. It is not your place to challenge how things are done. Do you think you are the only one who exists? Society needs the ways in order to function.¡±

    Mei looked back up, sadly.

    ¡°Believe me, this isn''t a choice I make easily. When you are raised to see something as the core of your world, it is difficult to accept that it is not only misguided but actively harmful. This whole structure... it has brought nothing but pain to the people I have cared about. And it has done so for countless generations.

    ¡°But... nothing is forever. At some point, even the cycle has to be extinguished.¡±

    Her ancestor switched gears, scowling and shaking her head.

    ¡°You are worse than a dog. At least a dog is loyal. This is why you need discipline. Disrespect like this isn''t going to take you anywhere. Did you think that even with such a thing as this, you would just be able to use it freely? No. That won''t do at all. After all... we too have been preparing for this for centuries.¡±

    As she said this, she held up her hands, and more of the serpentine appendages came out from the console, grabbing onto Mei''s arm as she used it to shield herself.

    ¡°There are precautions for a reason. This is why we give you the ring chip. Your body can''t resist us while you are here."

    She took on a more cold expression.

    ¡°This is what it means to be part of a family. You must always do what you are needed to.¡±

    Mei looked down at her own left arm, becoming heavy now under the weight of the claws, as if borne down on by the arms of Sakras.

    But at the same time... she was beginning to feel a bit lighter. As if a great weight were taken off of her shoulders. She closed her eyes and smiled.

    ¡°Sorry. But no.¡±

    Her ancestor was taken aback.

    ¡°No? You do not say no to me, child.¡±

    Mei shook her head again. She slowly stood up, and despite the claws that were binding her, began slowly walking at a struggle towards the console. The cords tried to adjust as she did, grabbing tighter. But in this process, they began to act confused that they couldn''t hold her back, despite having a firm grip on her arm.

    As she pulled forward, blood began to drip out of her arm. Ultimately, the cords attached to it too began to snap off one by one as her ancestor looked at her, now in confused terror.

    She got to within a hair''s breadth of the hologram, staring it in the eyes for a moment that seemed to last eternally. And then she yanked one final time, ripping herself free from the machine and, in the process, letting her arm fall free off her body to the ground, spurting blood out all over the floor beneath them.

    Her ancestor looked shocked, staring down at the scene that was unfolding before her as the pool of blood began to slowly make its way beneath her feet. She began stammering.

    ¡°Y-your arm. What have you done?

    She paused, trying to take in what had just happened.

    ¡°You were... scanned upon entry. That means... You would have had to...¡±

    Mei smiled again, weaker now from blood loss.

    ¡°That''s right. I wasn''t already like this. I severed my arm just now. After I entered the building. On the walk here. It was the only way to trick the machine.¡±

    She pulled out the vibro-saber that she had snuck past the entrance and slashed through the remaining claws and the surface of the console, setting off alarms in the room. She pulled out an internal wired dock, holding it in her mouth due to the recent decrease in free arms, and connected a separate dock that would allow the override key to be read. Despite their whirring, the alarms were too late. If the key worked, the system would now be overloaded, causing a major crash that goes all the way back to the machine of heaven.

    She held down the vibro-saber, stained red with her own blood, looking back at the spectral image and pausing with fiery eyes before she spoke.

    ¡°Perhaps now you can see how serious I am.¡±

    She gestured down with the blade at her severed arm.

    ¡°You wanted to decide who to give my hand to. Go on. You can keep it.¡±

    With the servers beginning to malfunction and fry from their damage, sparks flew across the room, and the water and coolant poured out, mixing with the blood on the floor and forming a larger pool of seeping red that crossed the room. The hologram of the spirit began to distort, her face still in shock. Warning signs were still popping up in various places, only for the deteriorating state of them to quickly vanish as the systems began shutting down.

    Mei looked down at the blade in her hand and sheathed it ¨C now more difficult due to only having one hand. She walked back to the hologram, which was now fading, leaning her head down on it and finally releasing the tears in her eyes that she had been holding back for so long.

    ¡°I''m sorry. I know that you were pulled into this as well. I wish it didn''t have to be this way, but... I''ll have to continue this path without you now. Thank you for everything you have done for me. And... thank you for giving me the gift of life.¡±

    Mei rested quiet for another moment and then stood up tall, wiping her eyes for the last time, and turned around to walk out of the room. Wetting her fingers and putting out the stick of incense with them as she did so.

    ¡°Goodbye, great ancestor. I will remember you.¡±

    The hologram''s shock had finally dissipated into sadness. Though she wanted to speak, she now no longer had the energy. She stood watching as Mei walked away. Once she was alone, she looked down at her hands, which were beginning to fade as well. And rolled them into balls before finally fading for good.

    <hr>

    Mei entered back into the corridor, with the sound of blaring sirens and the flash of alarm lights surrounding her. Though the hall was empty, she could hear the sounds of footsteps moving closer, and with her having little chance to contend with many guards in her current state, she quickly grappled up to the rafters and made her way out through them.

    Although she had devised her potential routes of escape ahead of time, they were not without dangers. Especially in light of the fact that she couldn''t know in advance what room she would be starting from. There were certain parts of the building that were thinner than others, and she used her saber to carve through these, making her way through a series of lesser used accessways until she finally got to the outermost layer. Breathing a sigh of relief as she did that she managed to get out without running into any guards.

    Finally out on the surface of the building, she was unable to hold back any longer and collapsed to her knees in pain, the shock of losing her arm hitting her all at once now that the injections of painkillers were wearing off. She injected herself again and used the heated part of her vibro-saber to quickly cauterize the rest of her wound. Though her arm would need much better attention, and preferably a mechanical substitute as soon as she could manage.

    Weak from blood loss and needing to catch her breath, she rested for a moment, looking out over the city from a vantage point that before now she had never seen. Though you could see the stifling corruption from the streets, there was something beautiful about it when you looked at it from up above. It made you feel light and aerial, free from the constraints and chains of social reality.

    She didn''t have long to rest, though. Though she had planned out this escape route long earlier, and even with much of the facility now offline, the guards would no doubt discover her before long.

    Or... something else would.

    She looked up, slowly, and breathed in.

    ¡°I know that you are watching me. I can feel your thoughts.¡±

    She looked up at the security camera that was now pointed at her.

    ¡°Right now you are wondering... Considering whether this is just a personal act of rebellion from someone who wanted their life back, or... a harbinger of something larger. But... I haven''t had a life of my own for a long time now.¡±

    She closed her eyes.

    ¡°...Perhaps I never did.

    ¡°My fate is intertwined now with the lives of all my sisters and brothers. And I won''t be able to rest until we have worked to provide a path for all of them to be free from all the abuses that they have suffered.

    ¡°And then...

    "After that, Sakras...

    ¡°...We are coming for you.¡±

    After saying this, she stood back up, and slashed the head off of the camera, causing sparks to fly as its internal readout slowly faded to black.

    ¡°See you soon... Sakras.¡±

 2: Second Introduction

    Mei was sitting in a meditative position with closed eyes on one of the low crates at the docks. There was a cool breeze, and the wind was blowing through her hair, causing it to flow like long tendrils of dark ebony. She listened to the rhythmic sound of the waves lapping against the pier, timing her breaths in unison with them. But this practice was not working for her right now. And she could sense that something was wrong.

    She opened her eyes slowly, aware of what she was about to see. As she did so, she was greeted with a harsh image. For before her stood the open ocean, tainted red with blood. The sky was a crimson red, bearing down on her with an oppressive air as if the entire heavens were closing in on her alone. She breathed in stiffly while looking at this image, taking in the endless torrents of life and death. But she knew that right now wasn''t the time for this. She shook her head and looked again, looking now to the restored image of the blue waves, ebbing and flowing under a sunlit cerulean sky. And as she did so, she began to breathe more freely again now that the trouble was past.

    She leaned back against the container, feeling drained. Fortunately, she didn''t have much to do here at the moment but wait. Normally she wasn''t called on for drop-offs like this, but the group who was meant to handle it was down a few members on account of them still being otherwise occupied. And as she had nothing else to do until tomorrow, she was asked if she could come to watch over it in their place.

    The current drop-off was moderate in scale. They knew that Weihong was planning something big for the coming days. And he would likely be seeking any resources he could use to that end. The group Mei was with had been struggling against him on and off for some time. In fact, for longer even than Mei had been part of this struggle. But it was on the verge now of coming to a head. So she was here for insurance. For it would not be ideal for him to get his hands on these resources at a time so close to his plan''s fruition. Her family probably wouldn''t approve if they knew she was part of this struggle. But it didn''t matter. Her family probably wouldn''t approve of her anyway.

    Mei herself was inordinately tall and intimidating in appearance, having long black hair and skin just dark enough that it made racial purists uncomfortable. But her true capabilities were kept under the radar for the moment, being something that would be needed later on for the true objective. That is, the ultimate operation against the temple. And so, going out of her way to avoid stoking a reputation, her presence alone was not as menacing an appearance as it might otherwise be, making it likely not enough to deter any potential attackers. This was done by necessity. Because a bit of skill doesn''t make you invincible. And if this skill will be needed in the future, you don''t want to paint a target on your back.

    Feeling a bit more calm now, she got up to walk inside the docks. Captain Jack Byun was inside, speaking with the person in charge of the shipment and gesturing to people to move the containers. What they were doing wasn''t strictly speaking illegal at a glance. And the presence of weapons for defense could be passed off as a private security team. But issues of legality would stop mattering quickly if the temple were to get involved. They didn''t expect the temple to be involved in their current activities today, however, on account of the intel they had gotten leaked to them, and were instead only on the lookout for Weihong''s men.

    Mei leaned against the wall with her arms crossed, listening to them speak. From his tone, Jack sounded perturbed about the fact that the shipment had been delayed, despite his attempts not to show it. It was supposed to be safely stored away already so that they could prepare for the operation tomorrow. And headquarters was already scrutinizing him about what was going on. She felt tired just listening to him talk in this energetic tone. But he was often high-energy. He managed to be everywhere and take on every possible responsibility for himself. This level of deliberate activity was not something she could relate to.

    But she wouldn''t have long to think about it. She tensed and looked up, realizing that she could faintly hear two groups of people quickly approaching. From the speed and unison of the footsteps, these were not people who could be construed as random workers or people accidentally stumbling upon them. They were moving quickly and with purpose. She could see that Jack had now noticed them as well. Jack turned to her to see what she wanted to do. She silently gestured that half of the team should take the south side, half the west, and have a few stay back in the middle. And, like a solitary wolf, she would take the north alone. Jack looked like he was thinking about this. But he complied without much in the way of protest. He usually did. She reflexively wondered why. She didn''t feel like someone who should be listened to.

    After a moment to reflect on this as the team split, she quickly began to rush out to the northern opening. Once she arrived, and peeking around the corner, she saw four men and one woman. When she got there, three of them shot at her in unison, and she quickly dashed back behind the shipping container. She could tell from their shots that they weren''t novices. Although they didn''t seem to be top of the line either. She hoped she could disarm them without killing them. Though they seemed good enough that she wouldn''t be able to do so effortlessly.

    She looked around a second time. They were taking cover, waiting for her to take the first move. One made a token shot, but it went wide, seemingly not meant as a serious attempt to hit, but moreso an attempt to keep her from rushing forward. She didn''t expect them to stand down, but it was worth a shot. She shouted loudly above the containers.

    ¡°I don''t suppose we could talk this out?¡±

    She considered whether that could have been worded better. But it was too late to change her wording now.

    ¡°We can''t make deals with your kind. You never listen! We can talk it out if you give us the canisters and go. You''re not using them for anything anyway!¡±

    She considered their response. She could try elevating from diplomacy to an appeal to their own safety. But if they were so concerned about such, they wouldn''t have come this far knowing they would be in a shootout. No, their organization was a borderline death-cult. Most of them were likely prepared to die for the goals they were trying to achieve. And to be fair, there was something admirable about this in a way. But unfortunately, fate had placed them at odds. And their lack of preservation for their own lives was leading them down a path towards putting others in danger as well. Which meant they had to be taken seriously as a threat.

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    ¡°Ah. That''s unfortunate.¡±

    She realized that she was thinking about their safety but not about her own again. She, too, was in danger. Skill or no skill, they had her outnumbered. And she had no easy way to know if they had reinforcements who were holding back.

    She dove behind a smaller container in the middle of the opening for cover. This seemed to begin to draw them out, since it left less room for her to retreat to, and they expected her to be more likely to be trapped now. She looked at the protected area on the other side of the opening. She could sneak around to the other side, but it would require damaging the shipping containers. No use worrying about that now, though. They might have to dodge an investigation either way after this firefight.

    She dropped a smoke bomb and dove to the other side. They could see her move, but they couldn''t know what she was doing there once she was around the corner. She pulled her katana-shaped vibro-saber and cut through the containers, quickly sliding in through the opening and moving slowly and quietly to the other side before they could notice her and so that she could surprise them from behind.

    She burst out the other side, turning quickly to accost them before they could react to realize what had happened. While vibro-sabers were useful on account of the ability to cut through even metal like this, it was still rare for people to be able to do so so quickly and quietly. And so it was unexpected for them to be used to traverse so much space. The group turned around confused, unsure of why she was coming from behind, but before they could react, she dropped the saber and pulled out guns from inside her longcoat.

    Her reflexes were fast enough that she believed she could disarm them. But she wasn''t naive, and this was far from her first rodeo. She would do what she had to if it came to it. She aimed and shot the arms holding weapons of three of them before they could react. She couldn''t make sure that this wouldn''t give them major injuries, but at least they would be alive. The last two turned and fired back before she had time to shoot, so she ducked back behind the container.

    Looking to the left, she saw some pipes in a stack on the wall. Grabbing one, she threw it around the corner towards the two remaining standing figures. They inadvertently looked down at it to block it, giving her the opportunity to take crippling shots, causing them to crumple over.

    She looked around quickly to make sure they were actually sufficiently incapacitated and shot at the remaining weapons to break them so none of them could pick them up again. She believed now that she had taken out all the opponents on this side, and without causing any immediate death. Some of the others scrutinized her methods, but they couldn''t argue with her results. This was something only she could do. She couldn''t always guarantee that no one died. Especially from injuries afterwards. But this side of the attackers no doubt fared much better than the other.

    But she heard something suddenly in the air behind her. It was the sound of a person jumping from off the top of the container. It looks like they had a sixth person after all, hiding above for cover. She turned quickly. The boy she saw was jumping from behind her. She clenched her teeth as she realized she wouldn''t have time to take a careful shot. She had to take the shot she had. She narrowed her eyes and aimed the gun behind her under her arm, pulling the trigger. The bullet went into him, and he went limp almost instantly in the air, dropping his weapon and giving her the opportunity to lean out of the way.

    His body clattered to the floor, leaving a trail of blood behind it. And she realized immediately what this meant as she looked at the path in which he had fallen. Knowing what she was about to see, she wanted to look away out of weakness, but she dared not do so. This was her fight. From her actions, people would live or die. And from this one must not avert thine eyes.

    She took another glance around to make sure that the others were not in a position to continue fighting. But they were much too incapacitated and seemingly realized at this point that it wouldn''t be in their interests to try. She walked over and looked down at the body to observe it. He was fairly young. Likely idealistic. He probably had struggles of his own that led him to where he was. In another life, he could have been on the same side as her. But it wasn''t in the cards. Sometimes where you end up is just the roll of the dice. She had no ill will towards him. They likely had very similar goals. But Weihong''s men were the ones attacking. And they couldn''t sit there and let themselves be overtaken. Their work was too important. And so people were going to die, all over a misunderstanding.

    She looked back over to the other people she had disarmed. Jack''s men were now rushing in to accost them, and so they wouldn''t be any further trouble. She looked back to the body one final time and crouched down to turn him over. She closed his eyes and put his arms over his body in a dignified pose.

    ¡°Be at peace.¡±

    She felt a little less bad when fighting temple guards. They tended to be more elite soldiers who knew exactly what they were getting into. You didn''t fall into being one on accident. But situations like this left a bad taste in her mouth. Being a better fighter didn''t help. Faux heroism aside, it just meant you were in more situations where you might have to kill. And if you were someone who theoretically could disarm weaker opponents without doing so, you would feel more guilty every time you did not.

    She thought about the group the boy had been suckered in by. A cult that, while it had global tendrils, its headquarters was run locally to here out of a facility she was familiar with. If all went well, they would soon be able to prevent them from pulling in anyone else. These feelings brought her little comfort, however. It was all well and good to accept that sometimes you may have to be willing to kill some in order to save more. But to do so yourself and see the blood of the fallen on your own hands makes it feel less convincing. For what does the ebb and flow of the living world mean to those who no longer reside within it?

    She looked down at herself, at her hands and jacket. Some of his blood was still on it. She could wash her hands and a bit of the jacket''s surface, but a deeper cleaning would have to wait until she was at home. For this reason, it was perhaps good her jacket was black. For all those times she might be drenched in the blood of the dead, this would be lost to the void, and outsiders would be unaware.

    After washing her hands, she went back to sit on the edge of the pier and once again looked listlessly out at the water. She wouldn''t be needed for anything else. But she should still stay until the shipment was finished being moved. Theoretically, there could be another attack, but it was unlikely at this point. She waited until they were done, and then quickly told Captain Jack she was leaving. And then wandered off alone as he stared after her apprehensively. But he didn''t question her. He rarely did. In the years since she had begun working with them, they had gotten used to the fact that she was often cold and aloof in this way. Aloof to all but one, that is. And they had come to terms with the fact that they had little choice but to tolerate it. Because she was, after all, irreplaceable.

    <hr>

    Arriving back at her compound, Mei walked in to finish the trek to her lonely living space. She felt tired after the events of the day. Moreso mentally than physically, although there was quite a bit of both going on. But she figured she needed some rest before tomorrow all the same. It was still early, so she had plenty of time to just sit back and eat while watching something. But as is unfortunately so often the case, time enough to rest your body is not always time enough to rest your mind. She wondered what fate had in store for her on this front. And whether she would feel better by tomorrow.

    As she passed by the adjoining park outside her building, she slowed to a stop so that she could take a longer look at it. There was still a cool breeze here, like there had been in the morning. And it felt nice to stand out in it at the moment. Although she initially intended to head inside for rest, she considered that it might be good to spend a bit of time out in the park too. That maybe she should spend awhile sitting by the small remaining slice of nature that had been afforded to her in so industrial a place. The tension between nature and construct had been raging on since early history. And it raged on still. She wondered how Sakras felt about nature. And whether it cared about its preservation or merely saw it as resources to be used for its own ends.

    But in the end, she never had to make a decision. As she was standing there observing the park with a listless quietude, she was shocked suddenly and looked up as someone called out to her unexpectedly. She looked over to the one speaking. They were in a group of three.

 3: Three Weeks

    My name is Samuel Heart. I''m a bit of an odd-job man. I suppose you could say a private eye.

    Or, well... I was. I''m not much of anything now. Nothing is.

    ...

    I looked down at the body laid out before me. Its markings were for the most part nothing special. Parts of it were disjointed, like it had been taken apart and reassembled. This was not a surprise at this point, of course. If anything, it would be a surprise to see something different. It glistened in the city''s neon hellscape, just another one among many.

    One thing did differentiate this one, however. It had clearly been cut by a vibro-saber. On the front of it was a cut in the shape of the letter J. Disjointed, of course. At this point, it was hard to recognize the letter. But it was there, all the same.

    Reaching down, I dusted off the neck port and plugged myself in to the body''s memories. If they had seen James personally, they may have a hint to where he is. It was a long shot, but it''s not like I had much in the way of better leads to go on. I reasoned that if none of the living people I had talked to could be of use, perhaps I needed to bring back the dead. And so for the last several days, I plugged myself into whichever marked ones I could find, one after the other.

    This part I disliked. Plugging into someone''s mind was like losing yourself in a sense. When your mind links with another set of memories, you can become confused as to which self is yours for a moment. They say that if you do it too often you can even end up with this problem permanently, ending up confusing your memories with those of other people, or even having your sense of self lost entirely. It is even more dangerous if they are already dead, since there is no separate psyche to parse the sets of memories from each other. It is like staring into an unlit hall. One that goes on endlessly.

    To make it worse, as of the last few weeks, the problem began to manifest in a wholly new way. The minds I tried to obtain information from recently all tended to be scrambled. The information from them was scattered and incoherent. And it didn''t seem like someone had erased their memories either. In fact, it seemed nothing like any prior issue I knew of. It was more like their memories had never existed in the first place. Linking to them was even more painful than normal. For a moment, it would feel like you cease to exist entirely. With no coherent memories to go on, you can lose sight of even being human. Returning from this state of voidness was difficult with nothing to bounce yourself off of. Every time felt like death. And waking up was like a return from a thousand-year journey.

    I took a deep breath. There was a flash of light as I connected. And then... nothingness.

    I woke up some time later. It was still night, so it was difficult to tell how much time had passed. Once again, I got nothing useful from the process. And once again I lost myself.

    I... who was I? What was I doing? Who am I looking for?

    My legs gave out, and I slumped to the ground in a haze. Looking around me, the area feels familiar, but I find myself unable to place anything. I feel anxious, like I don''t have time for confusion, but there''s nothing I can do. So I rest on the ground, looking up at the stars above me. They look different from normal. There is something in the sky. Or maybe... something that isn''t there that is supposed to be.

    Gradually I become more lucid.

    Eventually I regained my footing, steadying myself slowly. I looked over at the body again. Jacking into its memories isn''t helpful. Every time I do this, it takes me longer to come back. And I get no closer to solving the mystery than when I started. Even if I found anything, it''s not clear if I could do anything with the information. Not by myself. Its not like I can inform the authorities. There are no authorities.

    The governance of the city was none too spectacular on a good day. But whatever one wanted to say about it, your time for doing so had passed. All of that was gone now. Everything was gone now.

    Perhaps I should start at the beginning.

    <hr>

    I jolted into awareness. Or, well... semi-awareness. It was a cold, rainy day at my office. Well, it was also generous to call it an office. It was a room at least. Or most of one. People would meet me here for jobs. In actuality, my own living space was just a small room at the back. I hoped that people didn''t notice. They probably did.

    Calling it detective work might be generous. Much of it was more like bounty hunting. Law enforcement couldn''t be relied on, especially not in this part of the city. People had to band together to form their own communities, and watch over their own goings on. Naturally, this didn''t work well. And naturally, it led to situations law enforcement wasn''t overly interested in. It was within this space that I operated.

    I''m not one for criminal undertakings. I try to make sure I only help with things that actually deserve to be done. Having scruples doesn''t help your wallet, but it can help your conscience if you are lucky. But it''s not like I had much in the way of things to spend money on anymore anyways.

    Still in a daze, I looked around the room. My eyes came to rest on the picture on my desk. The picture was of Ai and her daughter Chie. For a time, they had been my central reason to live. They had been in a bad position, having been left on their own after an accidental death. My own life was none too positive in the past either, although I suppose it could certainly have been worse. We had found each other by chance when I was on vacation at a facility away from the city. I had never spent much time dating for long before then. Barely even had much of anyone you could call a close friend except for my old partner, James. Not for any particular reason, I just never tended to go out of my way to find people.

    At the time, their presence in my life was like a breath of fresh air. Even in nature, you can''t escape the problems of modern civilization, but you can at least downplay them for awhile. Ai told me that with me she was happy for the first time after the accident. And Chie quickly became happy to want me in their life as her surrogate guardian. Though it was something I had little experience with, I was happy to try to take a more intimate role for a time. Before the trip was even over, we already all considered each other a permanent staple in each other''s life. And in this period, I began to totally reimagine what it meant to have the life I was living.

    Unfortunately, both of us were caught up in current business, and this affected our ability to be together. Though we lived far enough apart that it limited how often we could see each other, I had still seen them several more times after this, all which were times associated with positive feelings. Though in a sense, it was also bittersweet, due to being so sparse in comparison to the initial trip. But time moved on, and we only grew closer over the next year. And my entire life had now shifted to looking forward to when we could be together permanently.

    But... all good things must come to an end. Suddenly, and without warning, her and her daughter both died in an electrical fire. Funny irony that they died in a way so similar to their lost family. I looked into it to see if there was any foul play at work, but there didn''t seem to be. Things like this just tend to happen. Fairly often nowadays, because a lot of the infrastructure is worn down. And lord knows that people like us were not the priority in terms of who was having it updated for them.

    So I became once again alone.

    There is a funny thing about returning to a state one had left behind. Before, being alone was normal to me; not something I was cognizant of. But after you find true companionship, it is not the same. You aren''t drinking the same coffee. You aren''t walking in the same halls. You aren''t stepping over the same river. Are you even the same person?

    They say that identity is a social experience. Who you are is, in a large way, defined by others. By difference. This is never felt stronger than when you lose someone. It can be felt like losing yourself. This is, to a degree, literal. When someone was so much of your life, who are you now?

    Time passed. A year. Two. Three.

    I shared my feelings with James, but he was of little comfort. He was never good at consolation, since as far back as when I met him at Ouroboros. I can''t blame him. I doubt I would be either. He had little positive experience with that type of situation, and so could only offer hazy platitudes. I knew what he was thinking was likely even more cynical than he came off. But I suppose I should appreciate that he kept that part to himself.

    Eventually, James had been forced to move for a situation in another part of the city. We kept in touch at first, but his business increased, and so this was becoming rarer. And so in my office, I was even further alone. I wouldn''t say I was depressed. My occupational works kept me busy. And from them, I had gathered a bit of a positive reputation in the area.

    But nothing I could take home. When I closed my doors behind me, I was once again nobody. A body with no identity. A mask with no face beneath. Like an automaton in construction that stands there lifelessly ¨C its body built, but no identity yet inscribed to it.

    Lost in my thoughts though I was, I was snapped suddenly out of my reverie to the sound of some kind of outside commotion. Getting up to glance out the window, I could see a crowd of people beginning to form, gathering around some unseen object of interest. Though from my suboptimal vantage point, I was unable to see what it was they were observing. So I quickly threw on my coat and went outside to learn more.

    Once among the crowd, I began to push my way through to the center. When arriving, I found the gruesome image of a dead body laid out on the pavement, but in a distorted shape that was hard to make sense of. After spending a moment to take in the scene, I looked around to observe the responses of the surrounding people. I could see that no one else was about to take charge of any kind of inspection, so I opted to take the role on myself, noting no overt complaints from the crowd. Some of said crowd had already even begun to disperse as quickly as they came, no doubt hoping to stay under the radar if there was a killer still in the area.

    I crouched down and began to examine the body. It was a cyborg body, so there was little blood. But the brain of the person inside was no doubt dead. The pieces of it had been sliced and laid out in a way that was reminiscent of someone trying to reconstruct something poorly. Like a child''s block man they took little care to balance the proportions of. It had a wavy feel, like it conveyed something eroding under the power of the waves, and into the endless ocean. And in the center, there was a distinct curved slash.

    I considered whether the law would even take interest in such a case. Even in this area of the city, murder could sometimes get attention. Though whether the authorities would remember it a week later was another matter entirely. At any rate, this fell under my own concerns and was on my own doorstep no less.

    After examining the outside, and beginning to go through the body''s effects, I quickly discovered a note written and folded in its inner coat pocket. Before opening it, I looked through the other pockets to see if there was anything else of interest. But nothing of note could be found. Opening the note, I looked over it. But it wasn''t long to read. It was just a single line.

    ¡°Nothing is real. Meet me. -J¡±

    My heart sank from seeing this and realizing the significance of the mark on the body. James used to sign papers with just his first initial. And like the note, the body was marked with the same letter J. I can''t say I could recognize his handwriting by sight. But this body was left outside my own place. My mind raced, questioning if this was really a message for me in particular. In this line of work, you always had to be ready to act with lethal force when the situation requires it. But at a glance, it was obvious that this was not killing in self-defense. Was this killing to send a message? Would James really do this?

    I suspected I had a long road ahead of me. So after giving myself time to calm down, I began to question those who remained around the scene.

    <hr>

    I had braced myself for the probability of dealing with more than one murder. But no one could have been prepared for what I was about to witness. The following weeks felt like a surreal nightmare. At the time, I had no clue how big this situation was going to become. Nor how fast it was going to escalate. This didn''t stop as any mere murder or even serial murder. Assuming I was even still dealing with the same case at this point, it spiraled faster than I could even process into an apocalyptic crisis.

    Even in the beginning, new bodies were being discovered multiple times daily. Always in a similar way. Always with the letter J carved onto them. At first, law enforcement paid little interest. Not when it was merely people from the slums dying. But it quickly became wide enough to draw even their attention. And so, reluctantly, I was sharing with them what I knew. But, with little evidence to go on, they dismissed the idea that I might know someone related to the events. By the end of week one, a hundred and eight people had been killed in total.

    But then, it changed. The bodies started being found all over. But these ones had no letter J. They were generally found distorted and warped. Sometimes even stuck in a wall, like they straight up ignored its existence. And at this point... the deaths started increasing exponentially. Near the middle of week two, over a thousand people were found this way in a single day. By two days later, it was over fifty thousand. It only increased from there. If they paid little attention to me before, they were even less likely to now. They had long since abandoned the idea that this could be the work of a single person. In fact, it was happening so quickly that it was feared no one would have the time to discover what it was before it wiped out most of society.

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    Whatever was happening was far beyond the ability of any government to stop. By midway through week three, there were, for all practical purposes, no governments. Overnight, what little we had of society was now all but gone entirely. People would be found dead anywhere and everywhere, and even now, no one could say why. So many people were dead that basic aspects of society were breaking down and becoming unable to function. Because too many of the people who ran these disparate aspects had died suddenly, and people had no time and eventually even no inclination to replace them. Bodies began to litter the streets. It had been days since anyone had even bothered trying to clean them.

    Those left alive had doubts how long they would remain this way. At the point over half of society had died, people gave up even pretending that it was going to stop or that they were likely to be spared. You didn''t even have to be that worried about being robbed as you went about your way during the collapse, since there was now so many abandoned homes that anyone could loot whatever they wanted with little resistance. Although you may still be hassled by people with less savory interests.

    And through this all, I continued on. What else did I have to do? I couldn''t shake the idea that this was all tied to James somehow. Even after the deaths had increased, I eventually noticed that some still appeared with the letter J carved into them. Though at this point this was a mere drop in the bucket.

    I could no longer expect help from anyone else. What was left of society had degenerated to people worried about basic survival. Many didn''t go outside, thinking that cutting themselves off from everything would save them. So far, it seemed that it did not. Apocalyptic cults had become mainstream, trying to reestablish what little control they had under such circumstances. Many were suicide cults. But at this point, how much difference did it even make? They had not long to live regardless.

    I thought on this.

    But I quickly shook back to attention, thinking I had best not waste any more time. Looking up, I could see that even the buildings were dissolving now. As if their purpose for being was ending as the karmic destiny of humanity came to a close. The one in front of me had a broken neon sign; its text glitching and fluctuating unintelligibly as the structure it was connected to faded away. One of many buildings that were trailing off, being absorbed without protest into the boundless sky.

    To be sure, I had obvious doubts that one person could do this. But if James wasn''t behind it, what was his relation to it? Was he trying to send a message? Was it for me in particular?

    I considered that I had been approaching the issue from the wrong angle. I had been trying to find out how this could be caused, and where I should go to stop it. But there was little reason to do what I had been doing thus far. I wasn''t called to follow so that I could wander abandoned government bases, seeing what ill-gotten equipment could have been purposed negatively in some unforeseen way. There was too many of them, and it had so far proven to be a waste.

    I closed my eyes to reflect. I thought back to the time we first met. I couldn''t say why, but I suspected this line of thought was followed by him as well. He had sent the message to me in particular. This means he knew that I would be able to find him. This means that I would know where to go.

    And there was only one place this could be.

    <hr>

    I arrived at the abandoned industrial district, outside the Ouroboros facility. It was here that I first met James. And I had a feeling it was soon to become the last place I met him as well. Looking around, I could tell that the place didn''t have long for the world. I supposed at this point that I didn''t either.

    There was a long ledge leading in. From here, you could look over a large chunk of the city. Although the city was quickly turning into ruins, one had to admit it was still rather beautiful. I pondered on the fact that I hadn''t thought about this in awhile. It felt like forever. The buildings that were dissolving were trailing listlessly up into the sky. And among them, you could still see the cityscape, merging together like waves in a neon ocean.

    I waited for a moment, to soak in the scene before me, but I didn''t have long to dawdle. So, turning away from the sacred light, I descended into the darkness below.

    The floor rang loud beneath my boots. The facility wasn''t quite outside, but wasn''t quite inside. It had been abandoned long ago, as industrialism had moved on. Places like this were common for urban exploration and salvaging. Although the things of the most substantial use would have been taken, they were still full of old scrap that could sustain people mining it for a long time.

    Taking in the scene of the ruins, clearly this place wasn''t actually tied to any kind of global apocalypse. It didn''t look active at all. I wondered what it was I was even searching for.

    But, come what may, I knew what I would find. He was here. I knew this much for certain.

    I looked up.

    I saw James ahead of me.

    He was alone. No machinery. No weapons of mass destruction. It was just him - sitting on the floor in a meditative pose. And one vibro-saber laying against the wall next to him.

    He spoke quietly, without even looking up from the reverie he was resting in.

    ¡°Hello, Samuel.¡±

    I spoke back, unsure how to begin the conversation.

    ¡°Hello... yourself.¡±

    I paused, thinking. And spoke again.

    ¡°It''s been awhile.¡±

    James looked up for a bit, as if lost in thought.

    ¡°No, that''s not quite right.¡±

    Looking at him, my face betrayed my confusion. He spoke again.

    ¡°This may come as a surprise to you, Samuel. But this is actually the first time we have met.¡±

    This made little sense to me, of course. But it''s not like much had made sense in the last few weeks anyways. So once again, I waited for him to continue on. He smiled, noting my patience.

    ¡°For all my life, short though it has been, I have been haunted by a single dream. In this dream, I am right here... right now...

    ¡°Fate has brought us together, you and I. And I''m glad. I don''t think I would be able to handle this alone. But... we can face the void together.¡±

    He looked at me, changing his tone.

    ¡°Do you remember the day we first met?¡±

    I nodded, slowly this time. He continued on.

    ¡°What if I told you... that wasn''t a memory... but a premonition. You have been looking forward your entire life to this moment. It had been carved onto you from the very instant of your existence.¡±

    His claim didn''t sound very believable. But at this point, it was hard to call anything unbelievable. But it was more than that. I wouldn''t know what to call it. Something like an intuition.

    I took a few moments to consider this.

    ¡°Go on.¡±

    He stood up and gestured with his hands.

    ¡°Tell me, Samuel. Do you know what a Boltzmann brain is?¡±

    ¡°I can''t say that I do.¡±

    ¡°Well then, allow me to enlighten you.

    ¡°There is an important concept in physical cosmology which says that our universe as we understand it is... how should I put it... rather... statistically implausible. In a sense, it shouldn''t really exist. There are many parameters that would have to have particularly precise values in order for it to take coherent structure. For it to have a true past in the way we have observed.

    ¡°But... this universe was not the only possibility. Within the staggering scope of infinity, there are many structures that could have taken shape. Many things that are more plausible than reality as we witness it. But what if... these things are not merely hypothetical? What if, instead of our universe, this is what actually occurred? In our past?¡±

    ¡°I don''t follow,¡± I responded. Although this was beginning to become less true.

    ¡°A Boltzmann brain is a hypothesis for something that is considered to be much more likely than our universe. A Boltzmann brain is an unstable structure that emerges from pure chaos. This structure, from the chaos of empty space, forms at random into a shape capable of processing tangible thought. Within it sparks the genesis of mind. And within this mind... memories. Memories of order. Of reality. Of being. Memories that connect to each other to try to make sense of the chaos they find themselves in. But it is not there for long. Only the blink of an eye.¡±

    My stomach fell. I was starting to suspect what was coming next.

    ¡°This is our world, Samuel. We have no past. No history. No future. From our internal perspective, this world only came into being three weeks ago. Though I suppose in the universe outside, it has not even been a second. That is... if such a thing as a second, or even time itself truly exists there.

    ¡°But this world cannot last for long. The push that structured it into an ordered simulacra is breaking down. You can see it around you. In the end, nothing will remain. As if we had never been. Beneath it all... there is only the void.¡±

    His tone softened.

    ¡°Causality has no meaning for us anymore. This is why I brought you here. Because I have been haunted by this memory. We grew up together, you and I. But of course... in order to be able to do that, we would have first had to exist. We only have right now. This moment.¡±

    I had been staring up at the stars for some time while listening to his explanation. I thought back over my mistaken assurance that he must be related to the world''s end somehow. But of course, now that all felt very silly.

    At this point, I had no reason to doubt his words. It''s not that I believed him per se. But that I felt it. That with my inner eye, I could now grasp it for myself. I reflected on what it meant for my life to be an illusion. A self-imposed ordering structure designed to make reality have a linear flow. It was hard for me to accept. But then again, it wouldn''t be easy for anyone.

    I thought back further over my own life. In the few weeks I had existed, it hadn''t occurred to me whether the world I lived in really made sense in the way I remembered it. The events that composed my life''s memories seemed to follow logically one after the other. But were they really connected? Was I just trying to force a logical chain through the chaos of randomness? What would it mean for this chain to truly link one moment to the next?

    But despite all these thoughts going through my head, I came down from this high, realizing that there was still one loose end. One rather more mundane than what we had just gone over. I turned towards him, speaking.

    ¡°You''re right. But... there seems to be one thing you are not addressing. In the last few weeks, you killed several people. So tell me, where exactly does that fit into this whole... thing?¡±

    He waved his arm, dismissively.

    ¡°It was a harbinger for what was to come. I alone was granted awareness of this reality. But even plagued as I have been by this gnosis, what can one do in so short a time? Make no mistake... I am no sociopath. I wouldn''t go around killing people who had long to live. But that is the point. None of us have long to live. This is the end.¡±

    I looked at him for a bit. Then looked away, thinking.

    ¡°Is that right?¡±

    I reflected on his words. But I did not find them very convincing. And he seemed to readily sense my hesitancy. The tone of the conversation had begun to change. The change was reflected in our movement as well. We had begun walking in opposite sides of a circle pattern, trailing each other''s steps.

    I couldn''t deny he had a point. Or rather, I questioned whether a point even mattered now. In a way, I was envious. I had been wracked with doubt these last few weeks. Whereas he had made a decision early on. Is this all life was? Making decisions? I had to make one now. I reflected on the nature of decisions themselves. There is no way to escape them. Even the choice to do nothing is a decision on its own.

    I thought about this.

    But not for long. Because something else was stirring inside of me. I realized something then, despite everything. I had expected to feel bad at this point. But I began to realize that I didn''t. I had felt cold these last few weeks, but now I could feel my blood rushing back to me. And I began feeling not just better... in fact, a sense of joie de vivre, for perhaps the first time. Being perhaps the last as well.

    And I came to a decision of my own.

    I smirked.

    ¡°Be that as it may, James. But... I''m not here to listen to your convoluted rationalizations. And I''m not here for a lecture on ontology either.

    ¡°I came here with one purpose. To stop the serial killings. And to capture the one behind it.¡±

    I held up my vibro-saber and pointed it towards him.

    ¡°You''re under arrest, James. For the murder of several hundred people.¡±

    James looked shocked for an instant. But then, regaining his composure, he smirked back, laughing to himself.

    ¡°At the end of all, this is what you place your faith in?¡±

    He looked down and closed his eyes.

    ¡°But of course. Because this is who you are. I suppose you could do no different.¡±

    He swung his own sword up, pointing it back at me.

    ¡°I suppose I knew this was coming as well. We both remember this day, after all.¡±

    I shook my head.

    ¡°Sorry James, but... if this is really when we met, then... you know I win this fight.¡±

    He pulled his arm back, shifting to a fighting stance.

    ¡°You can''t run from fate. Come at me with everything you have. Because this is the first time, the last time, the only time we will get to play together.

    ¡°Beyond this fight... lies eternal death.¡±

    We held up our vibro-sabers. There was no light on in the empty facility. So the area around us was dark, but for the faint glow emanating from them. We stood for a seemingly endless time looking at each other. We had done many things together in the illusionary past. But this would be our final spar.

    We darted towards each other. And swung.

    From the blades, there was a flash of light.

    And then... darkness.

    <hr>

    I looked down the trail of blood that led up to where I was leaning. But of course, it was not my blood.

    I propped up James, who was now in bad shape. He would probably survive if he were dragged to a hospital, but naturally, he turned down the offer. It''s not like we would be likely to find one still operating in any meaningful sense, regardless. And it''s not like it mattered either way.

    I pulled him out of the facility and to the lookout that I had seen earlier. Although this was an industrial district, it did have a small patch of greenery, and a couple rocks for us to sit and rest on as we took in the neon cityscape.

    After resting in quiet for a time, we began to speak on old matters. We spent a long time talking, reminiscing on the past we never had, and on the unfolding of our lives. We looked over the cliff, to see if we could recognize familiar landmarks from our high up vantage point. But of course, nothing ever looks the same when you see it all at once. It is given context from the path you take throughout it.

    I hadn''t felt relaxed since all of this began. But the energy was draining from me as well. And I knew that this would be the last quiet talk we would ever have. I could have been more harsh, but there was no reason for that now. And as it was, our time was already drawing to a close.

    Looking at my hand, I saw that it too was beginning to unravel. So I began, our final topic.

    ¡°We are at the end now, James. So let us talk. Because we won''t get another chance.

    ¡°Even if you thought you were sending a message about the coming tragedy, even knowing what was about to happen, ultimately you still killed several people. I can''t say I don''t see your perspective. But this wasn''t a reasonable response. All things considered, they were still alive at the time. Even if there''s a chance they wouldn''t be by now.¡±

    James remarked weakly, coughing as he did.

    ¡°Haven''t you heard the parable of the glass? The glass was already broken. Losing a few weeks matters little in the grand scheme of things. In essence, they were already dead.¡±

    I shook my head.

    ¡°Everybody dies, James. You say it is only a few weeks, but... a lot can happen in a few weeks.¡±

    Sitting down again next to James, I took out my photo of Ai and Chie.

    ¡°Did I ever tell you about the time I spent with Ai and Chie? It was only three weeks, but... short though it was, it was valuable. I wish... I wish I could have prevented what happened to them, but... life catches up with all of us.

    ¡°They''re gone now. But... I carried on. It was this moment that gave me the strength to carry on. So I don''t think you are right. Even a short time can be valuable. And that''s not something that should be taken so casually.¡±

    James smirked weakly. Blood was coming out of his mouth now.

    ¡°But you know...¡± he said. ¡°None of that ever happened. Neither of them ever even existed.¡±

    I looked down sadly at my photo. Now the photo itself was fading. I examined it quietly for a long time, and when I was contented, I held it up and let it blow away into the wind.

    ¡°No.¡± I said. ¡°But I would have been happy to know that it had.¡±

    I thought back over my life, short though it had been. Back all the way to the initial period I sprung into existence in my office, only a few weeks ago. And finally, I felt at peace.

    I looked up into the sky for the last time. The stars were fading now.

 4: Hide and Seek

    Sky fish floated listlessly in the cerulean heavens, casting blue and purple paths far above the busy world of man. There was always something peaceful about seeing a school of them above you. As if they represented the quiet sleep of Nirvana, beyond the chains that bind you to the material world.

    Beneath them, the world was ever-active. While the ambitions of man have brought them to new heights, mankind''s greed can compel them also to reach too high. This activity can deprive you of your rest. And this loss can deprive you of your peace. For you can never reach the end if you ceaselessly strive ever higher.

    On the surface, on this particular day, three children giggled and chased each other through the park, their laughter echoing among the trees. These children were Anjana, Fatima, and Leilani, three girls who lived in the adjoining units that the park was connected to. These were not very expensive units, being a bit small and dingy, and not very close to the city center. But the benefit of a connected park often led some of these areas to having a small bit of community.

    The children had various problems at their homes, Anjana most of all, but the connected park afforded them an easy place to escape from these. So often, they would try to spend as little time inside as possible and more time with their friends. Some of their parents often not bothering to keep tabs on them for large stretches of time after they returned from school. Though others would get antsy if they were gone too long, suggesting that they were inappropriately spending time on something that could be better spent on academics.

    On this particular day, they were out playing hide and seek, but had gotten tired and opted to take a break for awhile, sitting down in a circle on the ground. They laid around talking about this and that, but nothing that would likely be remembered later on, being just another day that blurs into many others in the endless flow of youth.

    But suddenly, Anjana began to feel uneasy for a moment and couldn''t initially place what the source of it was coming from. Gradually, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. A tall figure with long black hair flowing in the wind, a black longcoat, and a terrifying demeanor. The figure had been walking by the park, but had stopped for a moment to watch them silently.

    Anjana slowly turned to look up towards the figure who had stopped to look at them. As she did, her eyes got brighter. She waved widely and then shouted.

    ¡°Mei! Come play with us!¡±

    Mei thought about it for a bit, and then walked over to them.

    ¡°Hello, Ann, Fati, Lei. What are you doing?¡±

    ¡°We are playing hide and seek.¡±

    ¡°But there''s only three of us. That''s not really enough. No one else could come over today.¡±

    ¡°Did you ever play hide and seek, Mei?¡±

    Mei looked up painfully and thought about it for a moment.

    ¡°I used to play hide and seek with my siblings sometimes. They would often get annoyed they couldn''t find me and give up. Sometimes I would be sitting outside for quite awhile before realizing they weren''t even looking anymore. Although... I don''t think that was just about my hiding ability. I think sometimes they were deliberately picking on me by getting me to go out, just so they could get me to sit around by myself.¡±

    ¡°Your siblings seem a little mean.¡±

    Mei made another sad expression.

    ¡°They certainly can be at times.¡±

    ¡°Mei, will you play with us? If you joined us, we can have four. You are free, right? You don''t have any unimportant adult responsibilities, do you?¡±

    Mei looked up at her unit. She was on her way home. But it''s true that she didn''t have anything pressing to do in the immediate sense. She wanted to rest because she had to go to the midnight sun tomorrow. But she could also use some company. She had a lot on her mind, and it was sometimes easier to take the distraction so that you could approach it later with a clearer head.

    Mei looked back and shrugged, followed by smirking and speaking in a faux smug voice.

    ¡°See, I think I might be too good at hiding. I''m not sure it would be fair.¡±

    ¡°So cocky, Mei. Fine then. If you are so good, how about all of... the one of you versus the all of us? And we have to find you.¡±

    Mei thought about this for a moment and about the memories of her family that the arrangement dredged up. She looked around.

    ¡°What, like right now?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, right now.¡±

    ¡°Hmm.¡±

    ¡°Okay then. You can all look for me. And you have to tag me at the end.¡±

    She gestured around with her hands.

    ¡°The area can be the whole grounds.

    ¡°Okay, close your eyes and count. No peeking. Count to ten.¡±

    They closed their eyes and began counting.

    ¡°One...

    "Two...¡±

    ¡°I said no peeking.¡±

    ¡°We''re not!¡±

    "Yes, you are.¡±

    ¡°Eergh. How can you tell??¡±

    ¡°I can see you.¡±

    "No, you can''t. My eyes were barely open.¡±

    ¡°So you admit they were open?

    ¡°Eep.¡±

    ¡°Try again, for real this time.¡±

    ¡°Okay, okay.

    ¡°One...

    ¡°Two...

    ¡°Three...¡±

    ¡°Okay, you can open them.¡±

    ¡°Huh? Mei, that was only three.¡±

    ¡°Go ahead.¡±

    The girls opened their eyes and then gasped, finding that Mei was nowhere around them. They looked in every direction, but there was no one else to be seen in the whole opening.

    ¡°What? Mei, how did you disappear so fast?¡±

    A loud voice came resounding down from the top of the building.

    ¡°I told you you couldn''t beat me.¡±

    The girls all looked in the same direction, in unison, where the voice was coming from, on top of the building. They could see the shadow of a figure up above, slowly backing away.

    ¡°She''s there! Let''s get her!¡±

    They start running for the stairs. The building itself went multiple levels up, so there was more than one staircase they would have to climb. Roof access to the building was generally always available, so they assumed they would be able to reach her. Some parents didn''t like their children to go up on the roof, but it did have high railings, so it was not a super dangerous place for older ones.

    ¡°We are on the staircase; she won''t be able to get past us.¡±

    ¡°Wait. But how did she get up then? There''s no way she climbed all these stairs that fast.¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah.¡±

    ¡°I dunno. We can figure that out later.¡±

    They get to the top of the building, pouring out onto the roof with palpable excitement. They look around, but the roof initially looks empty, so they spread out to look at the different corners. But as they searched the rooftop, their enthusiasm slowly turned to confusion. There was no sign of anyone at any part. They exchanged puzzled glances, wondering where Mei could have disappeared to. With the city skyline stretching out before them, they hesitated, unsure of what to do next.

    ¡°She has to be up here; we heard her.¡±

    ¡°Maybe she was somewhere else?¡±

    ¡°Could she have made it sound like she was up here if she was somewhere else?¡±

    ¡°Ahem.¡±

    They suddenly all shot back around, looking behind them at Mei holding her arms up by the staircase. She waved and turned around to walk back down slowly. They ran to follow her, but as they passed the corner, expecting to see her on the other side, she already wasn''t there, as if she had vanished into the ether.

    ¡°Ugh. Showoff Mei!¡±

    They quickly ran down to the floor below and saw her all the way on the other side of the apartment walkway, still walking slowly. They were about to run after her, but Ann pulled them aside.

    ¡°We can corner her. One of you run down and go up the other side.¡±

    Lei nodded and ran down to go around. They waited for a short period to make sure it gave them enough time, and then the other two chased Mei down the gallery. She turned the corner before they could get to her, but the corner led to the stairs, so they knew she would be trapped. They kept running, smirking as they did at their own cleverness. But when they got to the end, they bumped into a confused Lei, who was just as surprised as they were.

    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    ¡°Huh? Where did she go? There was nowhere else to go this way.¡±

    They were suspicious now, feeling like she must be close. But before they could look around, behind them they heard the door to the stairs creak closed suddenly. They turned around to see Mei making a smug face through the window on the other side of the door.

    ¡°Push it open. She can''t stop all of us.¡±

    But though they pushed as hard as they could, even together, it wasn''t enough to budge the door. As a taunt, Mei shifted to holding it with only one arm and made like to check the time, fake yawning in the process.

    ¡°Grr. She can''t stop us. Everyone, give everything you have.¡±

    They pushed even harder at the door, putting their heads down to use their full strength. And eventually the door flew open as they collapsed onto the ground on the other side. Slowly stumbling up, they looked around to see where she went, only to see that she was off the walkway entirely and back on the ground at the park out front.

    ¡°Oh, come on, how did she even get down there?¡±

    ¡°Did she jump off the side?¡±

    ¡°Okay, we need to work harder on this. We can''t outrun her. We have to outsmart her.¡±

    ¡°Okay, I have an idea.

    ¡°Listen to this...¡±

    <hr>

    Mei was sitting leaning with her back against a tree, her eyes closed. Visibly, she looked like she was resting and not paying attention. But the kids knew better. Mei always seemed supernaturally aware of what was going on around her, so it wasn''t easy to sneak up on her, even if you walked slowly.

    Mei listened for approaching footsteps. From one direction, she could hear two sounds approaching. Likely as some kind of trap. The third would stay quiet and come from the other direction. She waited until they got close, and then got up to run in the third direction. But when she did, she was surprised to see that in front of her, what sounded like two people was actually one holding a stick they were using to make noise a few feet to the side of them. And when she turned around to run, the third was already coming from that angle.

    She smiled happily at seeing that the kids were clever enough to come up with a trick like this. In truth, she could have still evaded them. But she wanted to reward them for their cleverness by letting them think they won. So, putting on an act of shock, she began to run the third way, but acted confused about where to go, fake tripping over herself as if she didn''t have time to figure out an exit strategy as they all piled on top of her.

    ¡°Heh. Okay, okay. I suppose you got me.¡±

    The girls did a little dance around her.

    ¡°In your face, Mei. You thought you could beat us. But we showed you.¡±

    Mei laid back and closed her eyes.

    ¡°Death comes for us all.¡±

    The kids suddenly started grabbing her arms to pull her up.

    ¡°No, Mei! Don''t die on us.¡±

    ¡°We can defibrillate you.¡±

    ¡°How do you defibrillate someone?¡±

    ¡°I dunno, just plug her into an outlet, that''s probably good enough.¡±

    ¡°Good thinking.¡±

    Mei opened her eyes slowly.

    ¡°I''m not sure that would be wise.¡±

    ¡°You''re the one who''s dead. You don''t get to have an opinion.¡±

    She slowly closed her eyes again.

    ¡°Ah. Carry on then.¡±

    ¡°You know what, she might be too far gone. Maybe we should just bury her.¡±

    ¡°Om Mani Padme Hum.¡±

    ¡°We commend her soul to wherever you put dead bodies, I don''t know.¡±

    ¡°Amen.¡±

    ¡°I call all of her stuff.¡±

    ¡°Her jacket''s not going to fit you.¡±

    ¡°I''ll grow into it.¡±

    ¡°No way! You''ll never be that tall.¡±

    ¡°I can wear it on the ground.¡±

    Mei opened her eyes again slowly.

    ¡°I''d like to be buried in the jacket, if you don''t mind.¡±

    ¡°Can we still dig it up and take it later?¡±

    ¡°We''ll leave you a potato in exchange.¡±

    At this point, all the girls collapsed into the laughter they had been holding back, and Mei began to laugh with them. She still had a lot on her mind, but it was good to let loose once in awhile. And there were certain things that adult company wasn''t as likely to provide for you.

    After this, they once again sat around for awhile, having fun talking about various casual things and movies they had seen. Mei had nothing else scheduled for the immediate moment, so she sat out for awhile with them. People in small, self-enclosed collections of buildings like this often had some degree of interactions with neighbors, or at least tolerated the idea that their children might. Though she did reflect on the fact that if she was male, this opportunity probably wouldn''t be afforded to her so easily.

    Gradually, Fatima and Leilani said they had to go home for dinner, waved, and walked off. But Anjana stayed there, sitting, and got more quiet. Mei initially tried to keep talking, but she could see that now it was no longer going anywhere. So she gradually got more quiet herself and just sat there next to her quietly, looking up at the sky fish.

    There are moments of intimacy where a lot can be shared without speaking. And this was one of those times. Mei waited for awhile. But she knew that Ann wasn''t going to start on her own and that she would have to herself. And there was no reason to wait. If she waited too long, Ann might end up being too afraid to speak and leave without ever doing so. She looked over.

    ¡°Is there something on your mind?¡±

    Ann looked caught, like she didn''t expect it to be apparent that she wanted to speak. But she did telegraph that she did, and she gradually came to be more open.

    ¡°I... I have to go to the temple again tomorrow. I don''t want to go.¡±

    Mei looked down.

    ¡°Ahh. I see.¡±

    ¡°I hate going there! All they do is harass me!¡±

    Mei looked back.

    ¡°I know how that is. My family is the same when I go.¡±

    Anjana looked up at her.

    ¡°Do you have to go there, Mei? But you''re an adult.¡±

    ¡°Well, technically, they can''t force me like they used to. But they still pressure me to go from time to time. In certain families, it''s not easy to get out of it, especially if you still need something from them.¡±

    ¡°I hate it. I wish it was gone.¡±

    Mei looked at her thoughtfully.

    ¡°Hmm.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Nothing. Just thinking.

    ¡°Maybe... Maybe one day it will be. Wouldn''t that be nice?¡±

    ¡°...Yeah.¡±

    She leaned back.

    ¡°Well, I''m here for you. Tell me about it.¡±

    ¡°My family is always mean to me about grades and about how I look ugly. Last week, I got a ninety-three on my exam. Do you know what they said to me, Mei?¡±

    ¡°Your cousin got a ninety-four.¡±

    ¡°They told me it was unacceptably low. That if I got grades like this, I would be a failure and be unmarriageable. That nobody would want or love me.¡±

    She suddenly burst out crying and put her head in her hands.

    ¡°Do you think... Do you think I''m not worth loving, Mei?¡±

    Mei sat up with a more serious expression now.

    ¡°Of course you are worth loving. It''s your family who has the problem. No one should ever say anything like that to someone they care about.¡±

    ¡°I spent a long time trying hard for this test. I thought they would be happy because I got an A. But nothing I do can ever make them happy.¡±

    ¡°I think... I think it''s me they don''t like.¡±

    She started crying.

    ¡°No one will ever care about me.¡±

    Mei rubbed her on the back.

    ¡°There are people who care about you. You have friends. And I care about you. And that''s not all, either. You will find more people in time. It might be difficult to see this now, but your family are the ones who are misleading you by insisting you won''t.¡±

    She went on.

    ¡°The thing about family is that you are raised to think that your family will always be good to you. And if it''s true, then well, that''s good. But it''s not always true for every family. Sometimes it''s not even you they are upset at. Being harsh is all they know. All they have ever known. Many of them were raised the same way, and so they think of it as normal. And we, as their children, are left to be the ones to deal with it.

    ¡°I wish I could tell you that they will see their mistakes and change one day. And to be fair, maybe they might. But there''s no guarantee that this will happen. You can spend your whole life waiting, but it only brings more pain if you do. You have to learn how to value yourself and to understand your own worth.

    "Sometimes, when you are older, you may just grow out of touch with them because they never change. They will wonder why you rarely call. And they will still think that this is something about you rather than something about them.

    ¡°But... this is not the end. Nothing ever ends. For in every moment you die. And there is a chance to be reborn. To decide for yourself who you are going to be.

    ¡°In time, you can come to choose your own family. And when that happens, you can choose to only give time to those who will treat you with respect. And if they want to be one of those, you are the one who will be able to determine if they are worthy.¡±

    ¡°I''d like to offer you more help. But unfortunately, I have some things going on in my own life. But if you ever feel like you are in physical danger, you can call me. And I will make sure you are safe.

    Anjana wiped some of the tears from her eyes.

    ¡°Thank you, Mei. That makes me feel better.¡±

    She slumped her shoulders.

    ¡°But I still feel ugly.¡±

    ¡°I think you look pretty. Why do you feel ugly?¡±

    Anjana''s eyes lit up for a moment. But she slumped back down again and looked sad.

    ¡°My family says my skin is too dark. They say I look dirty. But I can''t do anything about it. This is just how I look. I don''t... I don''t know what they want me to do. I can''t change it.

    Mei looked up into space. These were problems you expected to receive from others in society at times. But no one really talked about the fact that it wasn''t uncommon to be mistreated over it by your own family. Funny irony when they, by being related to you, looked little different.

    She tried to hold back her anger, and cleared her mind, trying to maintain a positive disposition and a face of solidarity as she looked down at Anjana.

    ¡°Well, you''re not the only one. My parents too treated me badly for having darker skin.¡±

    Anjana looked at her inquiringly.

    ¡°But Mei, your skin isn''t dark.¡±

    Mei held up her hand and turned it around a few times to look at it. It''s true that her skin was only moderately tan. Though on account of her past, it had always seemed like a major thing to identify with.

    ¡°My family thinks that it is. My skin is darker than my siblings''. And they never directly complained about it to me, to be fair. But they would often praise my siblings for their fair skin. And they never praised me for my skin.

    ¡°When I was younger, I didn''t really understand why. Once I was old enough to understand, I tried to get their attention to receive the same kinds of praise my siblings got. But it didn''t work. It never worked. I even tried to use a skin whitener to appear more pretty to them. But that didn''t work either. And I was full of a lot of self-hatred at this time. For denying my own self for approval, only to not receive any.¡±

    Anjana listened thoughtfully. Then looked down sadly.

    ¡°I wish I had lighter skin. Then my family would be happy.¡±

    Mei looked down at her sadly.

    ¡°That''s not what you should wish for. Every skin tone is beautiful. It is your family''s fault for not appreciating you. And the truth is... it probably wouldn''t help. Some people have decided they are the kind of people who will never be happy. If it''s not this, they will just look for something else to be harsh about.

    ¡°And all of this goes back to the same point. They may eventually understand what they did wrong and change one day. But they may not. And you can''t spend your whole life trying to change yourself make them happy.

    ¡°I''m sorry, this is a lot to take in for someone your age. I wish you didn''t have to learn about the cruel realities of the world yet. But... life is cruel to all of us.

    ¡°There are some things about people that they do need to change. But how you look isn''t one of them. And what is important is to find people who will appreciate you for who you are. Not people who want you to hurt yourself to cater to their own image of who they want you to be.¡±

    Anjana looked wistful.

    ¡°Thank you for talking with me, Mei. I have no one else I can share this with. I''m afraid to tell my friends, since I don''t know if they will understand.

    ¡°I suppose people like us have to stick together. People whose families will be mean to us.¡±

    Mei sat down next to her and looked up at the fish floating above in the endless sky.

    ¡°It''s not just us. There are people who need help all over.

    ¡°But you are right. There are a lot of people who need people to look out for them. And who can''t count on it from their family or their community. Everyone''s problems are different. But if people are understanding and listen to them, then they can try to help work on it together.

    Mei hesitated.

    ¡°I... I, too, am trying to help them. But the way I have to help is a little different. And dangerous. There is... a chance that I could die from it one day.

    ¡°So I want you to know... If I ever disappear without saying anything... It''s not that I forgot about you. It''s because I am in a place I can''t return from.¡±

    Anjana looked frightened, and looked up at her.

    ¡°But Mei, what do you have to do? Why is it dangerous?

    Mei hesitated, and then looked down at her and winked.

    ¡°Sorry, I''m afraid that''s a secret.

    Anjana put her hands on her hips.

    ¡°Mei! You can''t just say it''s dangerous, but not tell me.¡±

    ¡°Sorry, it really is something I can''t tell you much about. I don''t mean to be secretive. But there''s some things that I can''t really share. It''s for the protection of those involved.¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°But don''t worry. I''ll try to stay alive. Just for you.¡±

    Anjana made a pouty face.

    ¡°If you die, I''ll be mad at you.

    Mei shook her head.

    ¡°Don''t worry. I''d probably be a little disappointed in myself too. But I''ll take it under advisement.

    Anjana suddenly jumped on her to hug her.

    ¡°I love you, Mei. I wish I... I wish I had a big sister like you. Please don''t go away.¡±

    Mei hugged her back and smiled.

    ¡°But you do. I''m here for you if you need me.¡±

    Anjana looked shocked for a moment. But then her eyes lit up, and she beamed real wide.

    Mei shook her head and looked back down sadly.

    ¡°I''m sorry, though. I wish I could do more for you. But when the day comes that you need to stand for yourself, then... stay strong.¡±

    Anjana climbed back and then stood up, getting ready to walk away.

    ¡°I know. Thank you for being there for me. I always wanted to be strong like you. But I think I can try. I won''t give up. And if I have to, I think I will be able to carry on even without you.

    ¡°I don''t know what you are doing, Mei. And I don''t know why you say you could die, but... You need to believe in yourself too!¡±

    Anjana looked at her with fire in her eyes.

    ¡°No one can stop you. You are invincible!¡±

    Mei looked back at her, shocked, surprised that Anjana had turned the conversation back around on her. Smiling, and with tears beginning to well in her own eyes, she nodded.

    ¡°I will.¡±

    Anjana waved at her, saying that she had to go now. Mei looked after her as she ran off. And then, after a moment to think, she turned around to walk back to her own unit.

    <hr>

    Mei closed the door behind her, dropping with it her demeanor of strength. She could put on a brave face for others, but it wasn''t enough to overcome the empty feeling inside. She thought about Anjana and her guilt that she couldn''t do more for her. What could she even do? Being strong enough to physically intimidate her family wouldn''t be enough to improve her life. It could even make it worse for her. And she wasn''t in a position where she could try rescuing every child she saw until the temple guards bore down on her. She lamented about the fact that despite her strength, there were still times she felt helpless.

    She sat down and put her head in her hands. She was on the verge of crying again, but remembering Anjana''s words, she felt like she wanted to be strong for her, even if Anjana couldn''t see. She came to think about the structures that give rise to abuse in general. And of the task she had undertaken to try to stop them. She closed her eyes to speak out loud.

    ¡°Take care of yourself at the temple, Ann. One day... we will never have to go again. Until that day, stay strong.

    She looked up again to stare into space, as if into the depths of heaven.

    ¡°I know that this isn''t all caused by you. Even if you were gone, this... wouldn''t put an end to all abuse. The future keeps coming. And new problems with it. But we will keep working on them. And... maybe one day...

    ¡°...¡±

    She stood up and walked out to the balcony to look up at the purple sunset, and at the floating fish that trailed through it. Though she felt weighed down by the struggles of the earth, she always felt a sense of freedom in the image of the unbound heavens. Dreaming of floating up into the sky in an act of effortless action, becoming all at once one with the Tao. And with Tian up above.

 5: Blink as the World Passes By

    Origin

    I am writing this journal for two purposes. One is to keep my own thoughts in order. Another is in the hopes that someone else may read it one day and understand my story. Perhaps as best as anyone who didn''t experience it may be able.

    My name is Jonah Reed. Partway through my time in college, I was discovered to have a mysterious condition. After extensive testing, it was discovered to be an unknown ailment, one that, at the time, they didn''t even have a name for. The medical researchers explained it to me in a little more detail, but to give a shortened explanation, the structure of my brain has impurities that will build up stress over time and would, if left untreated, lead to irrevocable damage and ultimately death. As a result of this, to offset it, I would have to go into hypersleep within a period of around six months to take stress off of my brain so that it could rejuvenate.

    Unfortunately, due to the peculiarities of this condition, this healing can only come very slowly. Doctors tell me that due to the severity of the corrosion, this time in hypersleep needs to last for about 17 years, after which point, I could reawaken. But the issue with this is that this would not be a one-time event. After awakening, the same process of building impurities will happen again, and once again begin the clock. So, at risk of death, I would have to once again be put under. This process would continue on indefinitely, without me ever being able to be awake longer than six months. At least, not unless it is cured at some point in the future. But I was told not to hold out hope on this.

    Needless to say, this life comes with certain types of problems. Many types of goals or relationships become all but impossible in this light. My one solace is that my body will be put in suspended animation while I am unconscious, so I won''t have to worry about dying after only a few cycles. I won''t age while asleep, and so while it will be spread out over an unnaturally long stretch of time, my subjective perspective is expected to be that of a relatively normal lifespan. I suppose I should consider myself lucky in a way. Hypersleep is a fairly recent invention, and had this happened any earlier, I wouldn''t have been able to survive at all.

    The truth is, I believe I was in a bit of shock over the news. As I was gearing up to be put under for the first time, while I was certainly sad, I felt a bit numb. I hadn''t quite yet internalized what it would mean that while for me, it would feel like just a long sleep while I was under, that for everyone else, it would be a long seventeen years. And that because of this, my relationship to others would be forever changed. I was trying to put it out of my mind, but it was still there, like a small worm eating away at me.

    But there was nothing to be done. I went around to those I knew and said my goodbyes. I reflected on the fact that there were those I had already grown out of touch with and who I now would never have a chance to rectify this for. But did it even make a difference? After all, from the perspective of others, I would soon be out of touch with everyone. Slowly erased from the consciousness of others as the endless waves of time crash on.

    I could have described everyone it was that I was leaving behind individually, but I need not mention so much about my former life. After all, it is a chapter that is closed off to me forever. So I will close this opener rather abruptly, having run out of energy to expand on it.

    <hr>

    Cycle One

    I awoke the first time feeling cold and disoriented, like I had been lost in a bad dream. You know how there are those times where you have a nightmare you are so sure you can never escape from. But then you wake up, only to have a sense of relief that you can now return to your normal life. I had that feeling now. But unfortunately for me, it would not last long.

    Slowly, it came back to me that my reality was actually the reverse. And that the dream I wanted to escape from was my waking life. In my unconscious repose, I had been able to turn a blind eye to my sorrowful state, resting in the blissful nirvana of emptiness for many years. But as I returned to consciousness, the negative feelings all began to flood back with overpowering intensity. Unreflectively, I felt a vague hope mixed in with them. A feeling that I was on the verge of breaking through my enmeshed troubles to return to the pleroma of my former life. But this freedom would not come. Though it felt like no time had passed having awoken, in the outside world, it had been almost two decades. And I was trapped now in the future. As if there were iron bars behind me, closing me off to the place I would have given anything to return to.

    I rested in my medical pod for a time, unwilling to arise from it. After the period I awoke; it must have been almost an entire day before I got up. No one came to check on me, though their instruments must have told them I was once again conscious. I was thankful to them for that small comfort. I felt as though as long as I remained there, the reality of my situation could not truly set in. That I could feel as if I still had a normal life and future ahead of me. I lied there like this in a fetal position, going over this in my head and trying to comfort myself.

    But I suppose I did have a future ahead of me after all. Quite a long one, in fact. I could not sleep forever.

    I reluctantly climbed out of the medical pod and was eventually greeted by doctors and researchers, checking my vitals and doing some preliminary checks. It must have taken a bit of resources to keep me like that, though in this day and age it would have been much less than it once would have. I informed them that I wanted to stay out of the public eye if possible ¨C something I had said once before, before hypersleep. They were accommodating with this, and so most of their info would only be passed around in their own medical circles. Doctors and researchers would make use of it for something or other, I suppose.

    Doctors, huh. I suppose I could have been a doctor myself once. In another life. Sitting in the room, I was thinking of all the options that had been taken from me.

    Thankfully at least though, due to the usefulness of the research done on me, money would not be a major object. Because of the uniqueness of my condition and the scientific benefits studying it would bring, I would receive a government stipend that was not too shabby. Although it was certainly not enough to live lavishly, it was enough to offset some of the economic concerns such a condition might give rise to.

    Leaving the hospital, I intended to head home first to see my parents. I suppose for now, at least I could just stay with them rather than find a place of my own. Though I reflected sadly on the fact that this option wouldn''t be available for very many cycles. Before I headed home, however, I walked around to see the new sights. It hadn''t been all that long, but I was amazed to see how things began to change. And I was excited to see what it would be like to get to delve continually deeper into the cybernetic future that was beginning to crop up around me.

    Cautiously coming through the door, after making sure that it was still my parents living there, I was met by them with a shocked and teary reunion. Though within this, I myself felt that I had to hide that I was displeased to see how much older they had become. This is something a lot of people are not prepared for when it comes, but it certainly isn''t made better by having to see it happen all at once. When you have a mental frame of how you see someone, having to deal with the reality of it being suddenly outdated and so needing to readjust is never easy.

    There wasn''t a lot of catching up to do on my side; after all, I had been asleep. But I was eager to learn about what had happened with them in between. I had not been very close with much of my extended family, but it was my parents'' desire to visit some of them with me, and so for a few days I went around with them to say hello. At this time, I also signed up for some new college classes, although... not too many. I didn''t want it to take up all my free time. I wasn''t sure what I would even need college for now, but I still wanted to finish it all the same.

    There was a tension here though, however. It felt vague at first, like my parents were keeping a deliberate distance. Initially, I didn''t entirely understand it. But in time, I came to realize what it was about at its root. After all, my return was only temporary. I would once again disappear from their lives, the same as I had done the first time. In essence, in their mind I was already dead. To them, I was a mere ghostly apparition. One that would melt away once more with the coming of the morning sun.

    I did not feel too bad about this at the time, although I would come to do so later in retrospect. Although this was not an overly positive feeling, it was not the only thing to focus on. I had more people to see and places to be. I wanted to go find my friends, and see what they were up to and how the area changed. I knew I might miss my parents more in time. It felt rather eerie after all, missing someone when they are still physically around you. But as I was still in denial over my position, I glossed over this in my mind. I suppose people always do, until it is too late.

    Now, I don''t need to describe all of my friends one by one. But to sum it up, there was what we might call a core group of eight of us. To be sure, we did know some others, especially as we got older, but when we were younger, we were always together. Of these, my closest friend was Benjamin, who we normally referred to as Benji on account of his distaste of the shortened form Ben. While my friends had said hi to my parents from time to time after my disappearance, this had dissipated eventually. And so, as it stood, my parents had no knowledge of where they were or what they were doing. So I set out to figure out where it was that Benji was in the present. Or, rather, the future. Whatever you might want to call this time in which I found myself.

    Tracking him down didn''t take long. He still had a presence on social media, and while I could have contacted him there, I wanted to show up as a kind of surprise. I discovered that he now had a house and family in the cyburbs. Although he would have known loosely when it was that I would wake up, after these long years, I assumed he was no longer keeping close track. Perhaps he doubted whether he would ever see me again at all. At least emotionally, if not intellectually.

    Knocking on the door to Benji''s house, I could see that at first he was shocked to see me, but then took on a happy demeanor, welcoming me in and being eager to show me around and reminisce about old times. He introduced me to his wife and young children, now 2 and 5, and then we went out to spend time together as he was currently free.

    Over the next few weeks I visited them some more times and got to know his family more. Although I took care to not visit an extraordinarily large amount of times out of fear it could become a nuisance. I went to find things to do on my own on other free days that I didn''t have classes, and by and large treated this period like an extended vacation. Seeing many new sights and how the area changed, and getting up to a lot of interesting stuff I likely would not have even thought of looking into in the past.

    On a particular day, we were out throwing around a blizzball for old time''s sake. I could see that I was now much better than him, but I considered that it may be awkward to bring this up, as the reason for this was, of course, that from my perspective, the times we used to play were only a short while ago, whereas for him it had been many years.

    I asked about our other friends and what they were up to. Of the original eight of us, four were no longer even in the area and did not keep in touch. Two were closer, and while he still saw them from time to time, it was not common. This was not to say he was a loner or without his own friends, however. Simply that his circle had changed now. I considered that I could ask to meet his newer friends, but I thought this might be imposing, them having very little to do with my past life and being a wildly different age from me at any rate.

    I went out to meet the other two, saying hi to them as well. Though these situations were more awkward, they did still have a bit to talk about. In the end, we organized a get-together with the four of us at Benjamin''s house. And had a good time talking about days past. They enjoyed this not only for my sake but due to being able to reconnect with eachother as well. Or at least it seemed that way to me at the time.

    In those days, I truly believed that I had finally come to terms with my new situation. After all, I was enjoying the time I was spending, was I not? I had always been a resilient person who was able to handle many of the most difficult situations with a shrug and a smile. Many liked this about me; you could have asked anyone! But I suppose the truth is not so simple. You can push things down for a time, but they won''t stay hidden forever.

    But as it was drawing to the end of my waking period, I waved goodbye to my friends and later to my parents as it drew to a final close. At this point, I was starting to feel more uneasy, though as I had become so good at doing, I put it out of my mind and returned to a new hospital sleep capsule.

    <hr>

    Cycle Two

    I awoke again, feeling energized. At this point, the reality of my situation had still not set in entirely. Although I knew there was much I was missing out on, in exchange, I had the opportunity to leap ahead to new experiences in turn. I thought I was okay with this, at least if I believed there were people I could keep with me. In truth, I was still in denial and mentally blocking out thinking about my life and situation as much I could. But this was not within my waking awareness.

    I went for a walk again to see the sights at first and to once again see what new developments had come up in the intervening period. Initially, I intended this to only be a short stop, but it ended up turning into several days. I wanted some alone time to clear my head, and so for this period, I didn''t bother contacting anyone. I was still amazed to see the changes, although they were a bit more disorienting than they were the last time, due to me not even fully adjusting to the previous changes yet before having to once again move on.

    After this, I thought that I should not dawdle for too long, and so I tried to return home again. But doing so, I found when I arrived that there was someone else living there now and that my parents were nowhere to be seen. I was stumped for a bit at the prospect of how to find out what happened, but eventually I noticed that a cyber-mail had been left for me from more remote family. Although it was far enough back that it took me awhile of sorting through to find it.

    On opening it, my heart leapt into my mouth. It turns out that in the intervening period, not one but both of my parents had died. Although they were getting older, both deaths had been unordinarily young for this time period. I wondered whether their emotional state had played a part. But I suppose that this is not something I would ever be able to know.

    Checking again, I found another cyber-mail from only two years ago listed as from my parents themselves. I was filled with fear, and hesitated for a long time before opening it. But on finally doing so, I found that it detailed a final goodbye in their last moments and a statement that they would now both be asleep with me. It didn''t even state which one of them had written it; being presented as a collective goodbye from both of them. And with it was a message telling me that they hoped I would be able to find peace without them when I returned to life. And on reading this, I lost it and broke down.

    I sat there in public with nowhere to go, just sobbing in my arms for a long time. But I could not do this forever. Difficult as it was, I carried myself til I found a place to stay, and then after this, I did little but sit inside crying for many days. I always knew I would eventually have to face their death, but I did not realize it would come so soon. I lamented now that I did not spend more time with them when I had the chance. But regret as I might, now the chance would never come again.

    I wanted to visit my friends again, but I realized that they might not know about my parents'' deaths at all, or alternately, that it would not be new information for them. They may be aware that it was still new for me, but I wanted this to be a chance to feel better, not a way to stew in my own misery.

    There was no cemetery to go to. My parents did not opt to leave their bodies in a specific place, knowing that I would not be awake to visit it and feeling a sense of loneliness from that absence. As a result, I had nowhere special to go to say goodbye.

    Ritualism is a funny thing. Even if you know there is no special significance to something, you often feel an intense need to do it to formalize your feelings. And I felt at a loss, waking up with them simply gone, like they had never been. Nowhere to go and nothing to do. In the end, I went and spent the day at a park I had special memories at with them from when I was young. I prepared my own ritual, like it was a kind of prayer. Printing out a photo of them and burying it folded in the earth. I wasn''t satisfied with the outcome, but there was nothing else to do. I looked back sadly and moved on.

    I took a few more days to rest and regain a more positive demeanor before heading out to meet people. I took up meditation from some descriptions of it I had found, but I''m not sure how much it helped. At any rate, it felt helpful to have something to do that was supposed to help, at least.

    I went again to visit Benji. But I could tell from the moment I saw him that things were not going to be the same. He once again looked shocked to see me. But this time, with his advancing age, there was little familiarity.

    He invited me in and made a token gesture of conversation, but I could tell his mind was now elsewhere. Reminiscing about our former lives seemed to mean little to him now, as at this point to him it was little more than a faint memory and I little more than a ghost from the past. I could see that interacting brought up old wounds, but wasn''t sure how to address this or whether I should even dare bring it up. He hadn''t even seen our other two friends since close to the last time I went to sleep. And he now no longer even had a contact for them.

    Before hypersleep, I hadn''t considered just how much people can change across their lives. I never felt like I had much in common with people so much older than me before, so I regretted that I hadn''t considered that this case would apply to people who I knew well in the past. And that I was now being forced to face the difficulty of this realization all at once. He made no serious pretense of going out or doing any activities with me, and I realized now that I would have felt awkward if he had. It would look like he was my parent rather than an old friend.

    I noticed that his children were actually now older than I was. I could see him looking at them, and wondered whether he was considering trying to get me to spend time with them instead. But on this, he remained silent, perhaps thinking that suggesting as such would have a demeaning air.

    Feeling increasingly awkward, I made an excuse not to stay too long. I left, thanking him for his time and saying I would see him later. But this was a lie. The strain was too large, and I realized now that it would only grow larger over time. Though I tried to keep him from seeing, I was crying as I left over the realization I was forced to face now that my life was lost, and it hit me all at once that there were some things you could never return to.

    And I knew then, in that moment, that I would never seek him out again.

    <hr>

    I spent some days feeling dejected and now at a loss on how to spend my time, no longer feeling interested in exploring the new world on my own. If I couldn''t count on being able to spend meaningful time with people I had already known, I would need to go out and make new friends. I wouldn''t tell them about my condition, of course, this being a wound of my own that I was unwilling to address. Though this came with the unfortunate consequence that they would too see me disappear one day without explanation. It was perhaps best to remain casual. Come up with a plausible story of being in the area only for a short time and wanting to be shown around. And ask for help around the streets from people who hadn''t even been born at the time I first traversed them.

    I thought too about my desire for a relationship. But how could one seek one out, knowing that you have only a short time? It would be an unfair fate to saddle onto a partner who would have to lose you so suddenly. And if you were to tell them ahead of time, it would never be able to expand past the scope of casual to begin with.

    I went to various public places, hoping to find a community, and even searched for one online. But with the urgency of time speeding me, it gave me decision paralysis. How could one choose, knowing you only get to make one choice? That if you chose wrong, your time would end, pulling you from your one chance at companionship and back into the abyss?

    I realized that though it had been little time from my own perspective, that many years of culture had came and went while I had slept. My previous time awakening, I had not considered this too much, focusing on what I had known already, and on keeping in touch with the people I could do so for. I wasn''t sure whether it was the right approach, but I decided I had best come off as someone with a contemporary air if I intended to be seen as such.

    I spent a day trying to figure out what the state of culture was in the present, but this led to a bit of confusion. Something good did come out of it, though, in that I managed to find my way into a college group going collectively to a movie called Bunker Man and Harry. I hadn''t yet signed up for classes, having, up until this point felt not up to sitting through them. But I did so now, just to have an actual connection to the groups that moved in the college circles.

    The name Bunker Man and Harry meant very little to me, although I was shocked to find out that whatever it is, its original stories had came out only a few short years after my initial hypersleep. The characters were some kind of golf themed superheroes, although what that that could mean I wasn''t certain. I was determined to pretend to be familiar and to fake it til I made it into a new circle of companions. At least for now.

    The day of the outing went well, and much to my satisfaction, I successfully managed to go along with them after. During the next few weeks, I made my way into their group, and as a result, I found myself with things to do from time to time. I was obviously not as familiar with many of them as they were with eachother, but I couldn''t complain about this; after all, I would have to leave them at some point anyways. But I could at least have this time.

    Although I had difficulty keeping up with their discussion of modern culture and events, this I could chalk up to my ambiguous story of being from ¡°elsewhere.¡± They did play blizzball from time to time, and in this I could at least excel. As I learned their names and stories, I tried to put it out of my mind that my time was slowly ticking down. That sooner or later I would lose them all, only to at best be forced to repeat the cycle that I had already done with Benji.

    However, a sudden conclusion came to this saga, and unfortunately, a little sooner than I had expected. It helps to explain how things were in my time. In my time, synthetics were seen as simple machines that were barely aware of their surroundings. As we were sitting eating at a fast food diner, I commented on this in a way that I later realized reflected my out of date understanding. I realized my mistake as I got looked at strangely, and the table became quiet.

    The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

    In the time since I had first gone to sleep, synthetics had seemingly become a lot more developed, prompting a fight for social recognition. I wondered whether they had developed so much in so short a time, or whether they were already like this in the past, and people just not aware enough to understand it. I tried to apologize and was going to bring up my past as explanation for what I didn''t know and that I was from a different time, but they seemed distant at that moment, and I realized that it would seem like an excuse.

    I became aware over the next few days that I was now being viewed with more suspicion, and out of embarrassment and being unsure what to do, I started distancing myself. While I initially tried to smooth things over and got the feeling that I would have been able to if I had the time, I had realized that it would take longer to reestablish any kind of close ties than I had remaining, me now having only a few short weeks. So feeling discouraged, I returned to my room and spent the remainder of my time alone, reading Bunker Man comics.

    On my final day, I wrote a message to send to them to explain my situation. But I never even delivered it. And as I returned to sleep, they disappeared from my life as quickly as they had come.

    <hr>

    Cycle Three

    I awoke feeling demoralized. I wasn''t sure what I wanted to do or even where to go. I spent the first few weeks inside, doing little except reading, watching movies, and using cyberspace. I thought about what it would be like to find a grand purpose for my life. But I scoffed at the idea. I could barely even find adequate interaction. Where would I find the time or motivation to do anything more? I didn''t bother signing up for college classes this time around, not feeling up to it at all.

    I spent some time with the doctors again, for testing. In my attempts to adjust to my new life, I hadn''t even considered that they might find a way to cure me at some point in the future. But unfortunately for me, it turns out they still had not. Better luck next time, I suppose. Even in the time since the initial discovery of my case, few other cases resembling mine had ever come up, making it difficult for them to pinpoint a way to counteract it. It felt awkward talking to doctors who were much older than me subjectively, but who had not yet even been born when I first went under. And thinking back to the fact that many of the doctors I first talked to were now retired, if not dead. Generations come and go, while I remained the same forever.

    I considered the angle of finally speaking to journalists in order to generate attention for myself. But its unclear whether that would even provide a route to real interaction at this point. And my story was far from new. I would be seen as nothing but a relic from the past. Something to speak on yesteryear, but who had no place in the present. It wasn''t a life I wanted. If possible, I wanted to be able to convincingly pass for someone who was raised at the current time.

    I couldn''t be outdated. Not yet.

    It took all my strength to try again, but I went out once more to a place to mingle. I found people my own age, but this time ended even more poorly than the last. I could barely understand the way they spoke, due to the evolution of the current slang and interests. And their cultural references meant nothing to me. Turns out Bunker Man was considered an old series now, not something people my age tended to be knowledgeable in. Who knew? Oh golf themed superheroes, we barely knew ye.

    I could have tried again, but I was too discouraged. I didn''t want to give up on life. But I didn''t know where to go from here. I considered that if relationships weren''t something easy to pursue, I could at least make an attempt to pursue interests that didn''t require them.

    It was a struggle to try at all. But I spent a few weeks considering what type of thing I might be looking for. I wanted to just lie down again and not have to think. But I knew this wouldn''t be the best usage of time for me. For what standards of best even so longer applied. So I forced myself to make a choice to do something active. I looked through artistic classes, among other things.

    Eventually, I opted to go on a hiking trip in the Meru Mountains. Not on my own, of course. I found a tour that would go on a several week journey through them, camping included. I thought that if I couldn''t find myself in society, I could at least do some soul-searching in nature.

    The truth is, I wasn''t really one for nature in the past. I wasn''t really sure why I was even doing this now. It was just an impulse decision. A way to look for a new activity to keep me from sitting and overthinking all by myself. Although, truth be told, it wasn''t really my first choice. In part, I started to be afraid that I would run out of time without making a decision if I didn''t make a leap of faith.

    Showing up for the walkabout, I was pleased with the amount of other attendees. They were friendly enough, and while most were not my own age, I felt a sense of relief not having to worry whether the interaction would last; it being understood to be a temporary thing. They had a variety of cultural backgrounds as well, so there was less expectation of familiarity with the same types of things. Another boon. I was glad to not be the one who stood out here.

    As we set out on the expedition, the group connected over the shared appreciation for the outdoors. Those with more experience shared stories of previous hikes, and those who were newer shared their motivations for coming. I myself did more listening than speaking, not wanting to delve too much into my personal story, but still happy to be in a continued social setting without having to worry about renewing it every day.

    Surrounded by the beauty of nature, a lot of the concerns of society seem to drift away. In a situation such as this, issues of age or past felt less relevant. I knew that there were limitations to this. These people made no indication of suggesting they would want to keep in touch after the journey. But this mattered not. I wouldn''t be able to anyways.

    At the top of the mountain, I felt relaxed for the first time in a long while. From here, it felt like I could see out across the entire world. I was disconnected from it, true. But perhaps there could be a sense of beauty in that as well. Floating above it like an aerial being who is not constrained by anything. When we arrived, it was sunset. And the rays from the setting sun pierced across the sky like a ladder, reaching up as if to paradise.

    But I realized now that it felt a bit eerie as well. Feeling a sense of peace from being untethered can also be a curse. It can be a precursor to drifting away. And in this case, it might take you down a path for which there is no returning. Entering into a day for which there is no tomorrow.

    My attitude started to once again sour. And as we began the return journey, I became even more quiet than I was before. Though this time with a sense of sullenness as well. My attitude shift was noticed by my fellow travelers. Though after some prying and failing to get an answer from me, they chose to stay silent on the matter. By the tail end of the trip, I was responding in only one word answers. And in the end, parted from them with little more than a blank wave goodbye.

    I stood at the edge of the bus station, reflecting on the fact that I had little reason to return to the place I was residing. There was nothing in that area in particular to keep me there over any other place any longer. The place I considered my home was not a mere location but a time as well. And it was a time I could not return to. Try as you might to return to the past; no one else is there any longer. You will do so alone.

    I got back to the apartment I was staying in, and the door closed behind me, shutting out the sacred light. I was once again alone, cast beyond the bounds of time. I had hoped I would feel better from the trip. I suppose I did for awhile. While I was on it, at least. But it was not a permanent solution. I could do something else like it again, but I didn''t have much hopes for it.

    I still had a few weeks left, but I no longer felt the motivation to do anything. I sat inside, reading, and waiting for the time to run out.

    <hr>

    Cycle Four

    I discovered a few days ago that Benjamin had died and that his wake was scheduled for today. I considered not going. After all, despite my recent memories of him, I was not someone relevant to his own later life. He likely all but forgot about me long ago. But in the state I was in, I figured it was better to pay my respects.

    Wandering into the wake and looking around, I realized that none of the faces of anyone there meant anything to me. Of course, logically, I should have known this would be the case. But it was a heavy feeling, taking it in all at once. He had passed through an entire life, and in this life had long since passed me by.

    Wandering up to the casket and looking in, his face did not look familiar to me. I stared at it, hoping for recognition, but at this point, it felt like a stranger. Someone who, if I saw on the street, I would have passed without even looking. Various people looked in my direction, wondering who I was, but I ignored their glances. It would mean little to them now to tell them. Or rather, I suppose I should say it would mean little to me. Perhaps it was selfish of me, but I realized now that I had no connection to the event at all. I found myself eager to leave as soon as I had come. All but running out in a panicked state.

    Instead of going home, I found myself walking the streets, still in a daze. At this point, I was aware now that I was truly alone. It had finally hit me that there was no one left in the world I had a true connection to. And furthermore, that this had been the case for a very long time. There are those times, you know... where you think of someone you know... only to realize that they aren''t really someone you know. Only someone you used to know. Your idea of your connection to them is only a distant memory. One you cling to, like a type of prayer. A way to populate your life-world with the phantoms of a memory long gone by.

    I had been walking for several hours; I couldn''t even say how many. I was no longer aware where I even was. But it didn''t matter. My current home was not an anchor. I could hold to it for maybe a few more months, but it would make no difference. It would come and go like every other. I had no more reason to be there than to be anywhere else. I didn''t even recognize the area around me anymore. It looked strange and futuristic to me now. And due to how little extent I could have in a given timespace, I would likely never be able to recognize a place again.

    It was I who was a phantom. There was no way to catch up with a world that had already passed you by. I was a whisper of the past. I was nothing. I had nothing. And in the end, phantoms cannot remain forever. And it was time for my spirit to be exorcised from this world once and for all.

    I thought about what it was I was really looking for, but before I knew what I was even doing, I realized I was looking upwards for buildings that would pierce the heavens, allowing me a way to flow through and leave behind the mortal world. As I looked around at the available options surrounding me, I began to check doors to see which one might have an easily accessible opening to the rooftop. After a few failed attempts, I successfully passed through one by acting casual as a resident passed the locked entry and held the door open to me. From there, I took a trip of two elevators. And all at once, I was at the top of the world.

    <hr>

    I snapped out of the daze I had been resting in with my head on my knees. I don''t know how long it was I was on the rooftop. I had left behind anything that would tell me what time it was. But it had been sunset at the point I had reached the top. And I had sat there as the sun went down, through the blue hours, and into night. I had been surrounded by night now for a long time.

    Its not that I was still trying to make a decision, was it? I felt like I already had long ago. And that I just hadn''t come to terms with it yet. But when you reach that point, it can be difficult to take that final step. I regretted now that I didn''t spend my final day doing something enjoyable. But, in truth, I probably wouldn''t have enjoyed anything at this point.

    Walking to the edge of the building, I looked out out over the blue city. In this moment, it was beautiful to me. But it mattered little. The beauty of the ephemeral world was only a reminder that I had no place in it any longer.

    I said my final goodbye. And then... I climbed over the protective barrier and onto the outside ledge.

    I could see now the fall of several stories beneath me. A fall from this height would mean death. I steadied myself for a moment, thinking of whether there was any forgotten things I still wanted to complete before I left. But how could there be when, at this point, there was no one left to leave a message for? Everyone but me was gone. Sorry for keeping you all waiting, I suppose. Will I see you again... on the other side?

    I closed my eyes. And I stepped forward off the edge. Like Lucifer cast out of heaven, I fall to the earth.

    I kept my eyes closed. I didn''t want to see the ground approaching. I didn''t want to see my own final moments. Though I suppose my true final moments had actually come and gone long ago.

    Many who survive a jump like this say that they regretted the jump after doing so. Truth be told, I felt a bit the same. But if I survived, I would have to return to the same life. I would have to wander the same empty world, stuck with this same choice. And I don''t really know whether I would be capable of handling it.

    I...

    What did I want?

    Did it matter anymore? At the end of everything? I can''t take it back. I... I can''t. I can''t do anything!

    I felt a rush of panic. But I realized eventually that something was off. I had been thinking it over for some time. Too long, in fact. I should have hit the ground by now. I don''t think this building had any protective nets. So there''s nothing that should have been stopping my descent.

    With great difficulty, I opened my eyes again, blinking a few times in confusion. I was still on the top of the building. But I wasn''t just standing on the edge. I was leaning over it, but not falling. I was confused at the position I found myself in. Uncertain of what it was that was keeping me in place. It seemed like it might be something behind me, latched onto my jacket, although I wasn''t quite sure.

    But I heard a voice behind me suddenly, and I gasped audibly in surprise.

    ¡°You know, Jonah, you''re a hard one to find.¡±

    I tensed up intently and felt a sense of shock, one that quickly transformed into fear. I didn''t think there was anyone left in the world who knew who I was, so I had difficulty processing what was even happening. For a moment, I thought I might already be dead.

    But... I wasn''t. I couldn''t be dead. My body still looked normal. I reflected on the fact that, while I was ready to die, I found myself afraid to be suddenly in the presence of an unknown entity. I lie now at a precipice with an unknown before me. And on the other side, an unknown behind me. And truth be told... I felt some shame at being found in this position.

    ¡°Lets get you onto some firm footing, yeah?¡±

    I wasn''t sure what to say. But then it hit me. I didn''t want to die. I just wanted the pain to stop. And I didn''t know how. But I would take something, anything, if it meant another opportunity to find my peace.

    Sighing in resignation, I spoke back finally.

    ¡°Yeah... okay.¡±

    Turning slightly, the figure behind me was in shadow, with the light behind them. They had been holding onto the back of my jacket to keep me from falling, and had a red strap and carabiner keeping both me and them up on the edge. Stepping back, and with their face still in shadow, they offered me a hand back onto the ledge.

    Feeling sheepish, I took their hand, being pulled up.

    I climbed over the fence back onto the ledge. With the rush over what had happened and all I had been through hitting me all at once, I collapsed onto the ground, gasping and in a panic. Now no longer numb, but feeling everything at once intensely, it became difficult to handle. I began to loudly cry, at this point no longer caring that I was seen and barely even registering my unknown watcher, who was standing silently behind me.

    Gradually, though, I began to calm down. While my head was still racing, I began to return to the present, looking around me at tangible objects to feel grounded. I became curious about who it was that I was with, though of course the watcher was standing behind me, and so from this angle I could not see them.

    I slowly sat up, sitting on my knees on the ground for a moment, and just breathed, initially heavily but more slowly over time. Though it took awhile to restore calm, once I had, in that moment, it was like my concerns had disappeared. I knew that I would have to face the world once again in time. But for now, I could rest. I was one of two breaths doing nothing but taking in the world in the solitary moonlight. Like we were frozen in time.

    It is a funny thing to share a moment of intimacy with someone you know nothing about. But it can be comforting in a way. In that moment, there can be no judgment. It is a situation one will rarely find themselves in. When entrenched within the world, your relationships are always defined by particulars. What could it mean to have one that is unconditional? Even your family is only your family circumstantially.

    But it occurred to me that this voidness was likely one-sided. Whoever this was, they knew my name. They knew where I would be. It was likely they knew a lot of other things about me as well. Had they been following me these last few weeks? Or... even more? Were they someone who could follow me across the decades?

    A sense of fear was returning. But I realized it was the wrong thing to feel now. I wanted to begin talking. I had a lot I wanted to say or ask. But I couldn''t find the strength to speak. In the end, I could only stumble out two words, speaking between gasps.

    ¡°...Thank you.¡±

    I began to feel embarrassed. It was one thing to receive help for an external problem. But it felt like another one altogether to have to have someone save you from yourself. What does it mean for the story of your life if your salvation can only come from others? What does it mean to be me in general? Who am I? If someone else had to save me, I could have been anyone. Would it even make a difference?

    I felt weak and on the verge of going into another spiral. How can one value themselves if they have no self to stand with? I knew it wasn''t my fault, but...

    But my reverie was cut short by a hand on my shoulder. Followed by clearer speaking than I had heard earlier.

    ¡°Don''t be so hard on yourself. It''s not a weakness to need help. Some people just aren''t so lucky to get it.¡±

    I was shocked that they could tell my thoughts so clearly. I could feel myself beginning to cry again. I wanted to believe the voice was right. But if so, it made me wonder what it was like to accept the inherent randomness of the world. That some people''s stories may continue on or end, not because of their own doing but simply by the chance of external events. These were questions I hadn''t thought on much before. And I wasn''t sure I had the presence of mind to do so now.

    But I could finally feel myself beginning to be more able to speak. Though I wasn''t sure what to say. What could one even say in a situation like this?

    ¡°I''m sorry. I...¡±

    I wasn''t sure where I was going with this. So I changed gears.

    ¡°You know my name... who are you?¡±

    The arm pulled back off my shoulder. But I dared not look back out of fear of offense, opting instead to wait for them to continue on. But I didn''t have long to wait. They began to walk around in front of me. And though I was hanging my head slightly out of shame, I forced myself to slowly look upwards.

    The sight I was greeted with was rather shocking. In fact, I suppose anything would have been at this point. But if you don''t know what to expect, what does it even mean for something to be shocking?

    The person in front of me was a normal girl who looked around my own age. Relatively speaking, of course. Her arms were partially in her jacket pockets, and nothing looked particularly striking about her, save for her blue hair, and the straps and carabiner she had used to hold me up hanging on her waist. I wasn''t sure what I expected, but I was struck by the rather casual nature of her appearance. She didn''t have the vibe of a mysterious assailant. But then again, I''m not sure why I thought she would.

    But I didn''t recognize her. At least, not as far as I knew. Her face didn''t ring any bells. And her outfit, though I assume was normal for this time period, did not strike me with a sense of familiarity.

    ¡°Sorry, I... Do I know you?¡±

    She shook her head.

    ¡°No. We haven''t met yet.¡±

    I was at a loss. At first, I considered that she might have just been a random passer-by. Or someone who lived in the building. But that couldn''t be the case. She called me by name. She must know who I am. So her presence here can''t be a coincidence.

    ¡°But... but you know me?¡±

    She crouched down and poked me in the forehead.

    ¡°Yes, Jonah. I have been trying to find you for some time.¡±

    I was bewildered.

    ¡°Sorry, I don''t follow.¡±

    She stood up again.

    ¡°Well then, let me tell you my story.¡±

    ¡°My name is June. A long time ago from now, I was diagnosed with a disease. When this happened to me, my life was destroyed. Everything I knew or cared about had to be left behind. This is a feeling I assume you understand. I don''t need to explain to you how the disease works, because... well...

    ¡°You already know. You have also lived this life. And... that''s why I''m here. I came here for you.¡±

    Listening to her explanation, my eyes became wide, realizing what I was hearing. But I stayed silent to allow her to continue on.

    ¡°I woke up from hypersleep the first time, wondering what I should do with my life. After all, there''s not much you can do when there''s no one to tie you to a place or time. But... I discovered for myself a sense of purpose. I discovered that this disease had only been seen in one other person before me.

    This... is you. I set out to find you in the hopes that I would no longer be alone. At that point I already wasn''t leaving anyone behind. And there was no one else who would be able to appreciate my situation. Nobody... but you.

    ¡°I tracked you down in the hopes of meeting you. But I couldn''t discover your exact whereabouts before my time ran out. As a task, it seemed daunting. In fact, I wasn''t even sure if my waking period intersected with yours. So I went back to sleep. In my second cycle, I tried to learn what I could about your situation to see if I could adjust my time to yours. Learning what I did, I returned to sleep early to make an adjustment based on when I thought you would be awake.

    ¡°So then I was at the right time. But I needed to find the right place. I tracked down a former acquaintance of yours named Benjamin. But he hadn''t seen you in some time and didn''t know a way to contact you. And that was when I hit a dead end. I searched cyberspace to see if there were records of yours, but I couldn''t find anything that would help me. For that entire cycle, I struggled, wondering if I would ever find you or even whether it would matter if I did.

    ¡°After all. I knew that even if I found you, that I...

    ¡°...

    ¡°I realized I could try to find where it was you had your hospital stays. But medical records are private, and even despite my reasons, I couldn''t get access to them. But I was patient. I had time. I had to wait to see where I could find a chance to meet you.

    ¡°So I returned to sleep, and when I woke up, I did ultimately track down the hospital you were stationed in. But you had woken up a few weeks before me, and so I was too late to find you there.

    ¡°But eventually I had a lucky break. Today, at Benjamin''s wake.

    ¡°The truth is, I wanted to go to pay my respects regardless. He talked a lot about you, you know, and how he lamented the loss of days gone by, but found it too difficult to call them back. I was going to wait to see whether you came. But it occurred to me when I was there that you may had gone already. And that its possible that they would not even recognize you. But I couldn¡¯t give up so easily. I asked around, and I learned that his children had recognized you at the wake, looking upset and storming out. Though they did not have a chance to speak with you.

    ¡°I spent all day looking for you, until I found my way here. And by then, I realized in a panic that I knew what it was you were going to do. And that I had to hurry. So I ran up the stairs, all the while hoping I hadn''t been too late.

    "Because I can''t... I can''t lose someone like you again.

    She stopped to wipe tears from her own face and smiled.

    ¡°Heh. Maybe that''s selfish of me.

    ¡°But anyways. When I got to the top... I saw you. I had spent so long thinking I never would with my own eyes.

    ¡°...

    ¡°And well... I suppose that brings us to now.

    "But... This is not the end. So...¡±

    She crouched down to the ground again, to where I was still kneeling, and looked at me. ¡°Tell me. How do you think the story ends?¡±

    I looked up at her, shocked at what I had heard but not really knowing how to feel. I understood what she was trying to convey to me, but it seemed too optimistic for me to imagine anything that wasn''t negative could even happen to me anymore.

    I thought back to Benji. From my perspective, it had now been over a year since I had seen him. Though for him, it would have been far longer. I felt a sense of regret. Like I had now missed another opportunity I could never have back. A decision that took me away from something to which I could never return.

    But that was life. With every decision comes a closing door on others. I had another opportunity now. But where did it lead? What was I even looking for? And how would I know when I found it?

    I wasn''t sure what to say. Eventually shaking my head slightly and speaking after a short pause.

    ¡°I... I dunno. The truth is, I haven''t been able to think about the future for a long time. Living like this, its like... its hard not to think just in terms of day-to-day.¡±

    She rested silently for a time, before speaking.

    ¡°You know what, I haven''t really thought about past this point either. I spent so long wanting to find you that I never really thought about what to do after. But... if you are free... we could always figure it out together. You are not the only one who... feels alone.¡±

    I reflected on this. I was hoping so much to see someone else as a source of salvation that I hadn''t considered that they would have no more idea what to do than I would. That they would be sitting before me just as clueless and just as worried about rejection. But... maybe that was alright. There''s a lot of stuff you won''t know. It wouldn''t be fair for me to expect someone else to have all the answers for my own problems. But it was still better to not have to work it out alone.

    I smiled weakly. It was the closest I had come to a real smile in a long time.

    ¡°But we don''t even know eachother. How can we know it will be okay?"

    She thought about this for a moment. And then shrugged.

    ¡°We can find out. But it sounds better to have the chance, doesn''t it?

    "Although... I think you are wrong. We do know each other. We are the only ones who can.¡±

    I looked down. I knew she was right. The truth is, I would have welcomed a connection with almost anyone at this point. But its not like the future of your connection to any one person is set in stone. Its something that has to be worked for. And in this case, we had reason to try hard. And just maybe, if we tried hard enough, it could offset some of what we lost.

    ¡°But what does it mean...¡± I asked.

    ¡°What does it mean that, in the end, I had to rely on someone else to save me? That I couldn''t save myself?¡±

    She stood up and shook her head.

    ¡°Maybe it doesn''t mean anything. Maybe sometimes things just happen. Sometimes they are bad, and you have to work to fight against them. But... sometimes they aren''t. And you can just relax... and enjoy the moment.¡±

    I thought about what she said, looking at her, and then looked back out over the edge. It was true. Right now, I didn''t feel sad or feel a sense of guilt any longer. I couldn''t say what the future held. Or how well I would be able to handle it. But still... I wanted to be there to see it all the same.

    I knew that there would be times when I would feel weak again. No story ever really ends. Feeling good right now doesn''t mean that all sadness will fade forever. And there may come a day when it once more feels overbearing. But it wouldn''t be today. And maybe... if I could get past it today... I could get past it again in the future.

    She smiled herself now again and looked at me, offering out a hand.

    ¡°So how about it? Do you want to spend eternity together, you and I?

    "We will be together forever throughout the ages, blinking as the world passes by.

    ¡°It will be lonely; make no mistake. But... you''ll have me. And I''ll have you.

    "And I think... If we work for it... that can be enough.¡±

    I was looking over at her while thinking, still kneeling on the ground. I was still filled with doubts about the future. And perhaps I always would be. But I was willing to try for it anyways. And I was willing to keep working to see where it would lead. I slowly stood up, smiled back, and then clasped her hand.

    ¡°To eternity.¡±

    ¡°To eternity.¡±

 6: The Midnight Sun

    All things have an inside and outside, a back and a front. While some view these as opposing qualities, the truth is that they often give rise to each other, like yin and yang. Society, too, has an inside and outside. Within there are the parts that are treated as socially acceptable. Without are the outskirts and fringes. The latter are often seen as in opposition to society. But often, they have a symbiotic relationship, though not necessarily to their own benefit. Crime is often used to prop up the current order, and those who fall outside of the socially acceptable circles are used as scapegoats to justify it.

    People and establishments all exist somewhere along this spectrum. One gives rise to the other, and the other gives rise to the one, in a perpetual cycle. But the cycle does not always remain the same. Sometimes something drags it to a halt. And if you stop and watch, sometimes you can see it happen. A beautiful moment where the logic of the world breaks down and begins again anew.

    Within the cycle, one of these establishments was the Midnight Sun, existing on the balance between common and outskirts. The Midnight Sun was a nudist establishment that, instead of being located in a more open area as many tend to be, was located closer to the city, on the urban fringe. As a consequence of its location, while it was a decently sized resort that contained an open grounds, a lot of it was vertical, with many amenities contained within tall buildings. Amenities such as bars, restaurants, common areas, billiards halls, gardens, clubs, faux hot springs, and even hotel rooms. While some visited only for the day, many also spent prolonged stays there, as you could get food or other things all without ever leaving the grounds.

    Although places like this tended to have good security by necessity, and were less dangerous than you might imagine, it was still uncommon for women to go to them alone, unless they had an air of being someone who could look after themselves in an altercation. Although it had no official criminal ties, it was not a fully safe place. This being in part because it had an unofficial reputation for being a place that cyber gangs did dealings, as it afforded them an opportunity where they could have extra protection against hidden weapons or hacking devices being within the immediate vicinity. Though some did suspect that it contained even deeper mysteries than this, due to some of the suspicious energy lines in the building. While they occasionally had incidents and struggles within, it didn''t tend to be as unsafe if you kept to yourself, and out of the more sketchy areas. It being big enough that even within its grounds, there was a difference in safety level based on where you traversed.

    Lan Mei wasn''t quite a regular at the establishment, never having been one for crowds, although she did visit it from time to time. She went there occasionally to clear her head, and because there was a certain kind of catharsis in the idea of being seen in a situation you would have previously been afraid of. In truth, she was nervous the first time she went, this being before she had totally internalized that in any given interaction, she was usually the one who came off more intimidating. But she came to enjoy it after getting more used to the experience. She couldn''t deny that the scenery was sometimes appealing as well, although she probably would have denied this if asked.

    But due to the things she was preparing herself for, she opted to take that hesitation as an opportunity. Being naturally more quiet, she had to learn to force herself to be able to put up a sociable demeanor until it became more natural. And learning to be able to stay calm and in control in any situation was a helpful tool towards this. As her confidence grew, though, so too did her enjoyment of the locale. The initial hesitation wore off quickly, and so her initial goal of using it as training eroded into one of using it for relaxation, with the former aspect not providing much additional utility after long. But this was alright. She couldn''t spend all her time focusing on training after all.

    Lan liked to come and read or paint here. When doing the latter, it wasn''t difficult to find people of either sex willing to pose as an anatomical model. You could have a conversation with them while you painted, and then after, they would vanish into the ether as if they had never been. Leaving behind only their image, burned into the canvas as they were into your memory. It was this purpose for which she was coming here today. At least nominally. Although there was also someone she needed to meet here today.

    Once inside, she took off her clothes and packed them with her things into a locker, leaving on just her shoes for safe movement. She was considering packing away her black longjacket with its bisexual flag patch, but thought better of it and took it with her in case she needed it later. She hesitated before leaving some of her things there, especially her weapons, but this wasn''t a place where it would would be easy to disguise being armed. She hoped this wouldn''t provide a problem. After all, it never had before.

    <hr>

    Mei stopped at the Frazetta bar inside before setting up her equipment. Mei didn''t tend to drink a lot of alcohol, and she especially didn''t want to today. But though she had already eaten, she wanted to get something nonalcoholic to drink and to get to sit around somewhere a little more social before retreating to a more quiet corner. The bar had a nice wooden smell, being designed to look more rustic than the more modern-looking parts of the resort. And was illuminated with dim blue and orange neon lights.

    Sauntering inside, she waved to the bartender, Cade McDennis. The bartender remembered her, of course. Bartenders always do. For his role, Cade only wore a small collar and sunglasses under his slicked up hair, trying to maintain a suave appearance. Although sunglasses didn''t quite make sense to wear inside, this is because on the inside they were actually security goggles. Mei considered him somewhat of a friend, although she had never seen him outside the resort.

    ¡°Welcome back to our fffine establishment. Are you by chance here to paint again?¡±

    She closed her eyes and tilted her head sideways onto her hand.

    ¡°You know it. Although I fear that I may have a little more than usual going on today.¡±

    He picked up a glass, and began to wipe it with a rag in that way that bartenders always seemed to be doing. You know the one.

    ¡°So I have heard. But do be careful. It would be a pity if the world were to lose one such as yourself.¡±

    He thought for a moment after his words. And then sighed, breaking out of the act, and speaking again in a more casual manner.

    ¡°Whenever something happens, I get worried, you know. I hope I won''t have to leave here after today either.¡±

    Mei looked at him.

    ¡°Well, we''ll see how the day goes.¡±

    She ordered a drink and took it back to her own table. Although she wanted to be somewhere more public for a bit, she didn''t want to sit somewhere where people were more likely to speak to her at the moment. She could put on a mask of being social when she needed to, but for her, the quiet was always the better way to recharge.

    After spending some time sipping her drink, Mei looked around the room at the different people inhabiting it. She was always somewhat conscious of what was going on around her. And each person had their own story to tell, if you were keen to look for it. However, some people''s story was rather vague, and little could be gathered from them just at a glance.

    If she observed people for too long, she often strayed into thinking about the nature of observation in general or even the act of speaking with strangers. That their story might intersect with yours once and then carry on forever outside of you, like separate threads forming only a single intersecting line before diverging forever. But sometimes the threads are tied. Like a lattice of countless individual paths weaved into a jeweled net. And at these times, sometimes you can do something that can change their lives forever.

    She took some time observing the different people in the bar one by one. One point of interest she rested on was an old couple. They looked like they had been coming here for many years. And like they were content with the journey of their lives, despite having had some difficulties. She wondered about what their lives were like outside the place. And what the air of difficulty that surrounded them was. She supposed she would never know. And wondered how long she would think about it.

    She wondered also whether this feeling of recognition that others besides you have a life as complex as your own was something that certain members of her family were incapable of feeling. It would perhaps explain some things, if so. She herself did not learn it from them, and had to teach herself. Realizing once she understood it of the beauty of awareness that it opened up to her.

    But gradually, from looking around, she noticed something more attention grabbing. There was a romantic looking couple of two women who had come in together. Originally, Mei had not paid close attention to them. But one had vanished for a moment. Ordinarily, this would not be an issue. But this particular time, a heckler had come up to the remaining woman to pester her. Mei looked around. There didn''t seem to be any security in the area at the moment, and it seemed Cade was not in the room to notice. She hoped that the situation would resolve itself, because today was not a day she wanted to attract attention.

    The woman seemingly turned down whatever it was the man was proposing, but this only made the man angrier and resulted in his movements and speech becoming more aggressive. This was in a dim corner, and no one else around seemed to be visibly paying close attention. The woman started to look visibly afraid, noticeably trying to look smaller and looking around for her lost companion.

    The man was about to reach for her aggressively, only to find his arm grabbed from the side. He looked confused for a second, looking at his arm and realizing there was a woman''s hand holding on to it. He tried to pull his arm free, but looked shocked as he realized that the tightening grip made it hard to pull.

    ¡°What the hell?¡±

    He looked up aggressively.

    ¡°Fucking bitch! Do you think you can...¡±

    But on seeing Mei''s face, he became quiet. And he realized now that the grip was tightening on his arm more intently, and more than he was able to resist. Feeling like it was about to cause an injury, he started to flounder, his face turning white in terror, realizing he was suddenly rendered helpless.

    He tried to claw at her arm, only to find it useless. Mei held him long enough to send a message, and then lifted him and pushed him back. After regaining his footing, he tried to look standoffish to save face, flaunting himself aggressively as if he was about to attack or speak again. But before he could, Mei spoke coldly in his direction.

    ¡°I would take this opportunity as it has been presented.

    ¡°And... It would be better for you if we didn''t meet again.¡±

    He turned now even more white, and after a moment of consideration, he swallowed his pride, and began stumbling off towards the entrance. Moving at a pace that suggested he both didn''t want to remain longer than he had to, but that he was also trying to evacuate just slow enough to not convey that he was now the one in the vulnerable position.

    Mei glared in his direction until he was outside of the room. She hated that there was still a prevalence of people like this, as well as the difficulty at times of being able to easily deal with them. There were many times Mei was on the street, and having been jeered at from afar, opted to suck it up on account of the problems it could make for you to always be calling attention to yourself if challenging it. But of course, even then, she knew that, in one sense, she was one of the lucky ones. Because many other women didn''t even have the confidence that they could handle themselves if it came to a physical altercation. Mei was not generally in physical danger from these types of cretins. But that made it little less of a humiliation to have to listen to them.

    The woman, still shaking, hesitated before turning around, hoping that the man would be long gone before she had to look. But when she finally turned around to say thanks, she saw no one in the room behind her. And only a face down glass on the counter. Turning the other way, she saw her companion coming back and ran over to her, embracing her in relief as the companion, in a stunned tone, asked what happened.

    <hr>

    Mei returned to lucidity, shaking her head and looking at the room around her. For a moment, she had forgotten where she was and how she had gotten here. She realized she was sitting on a bench, painting the nude figure of the red-haired woman sitting across from her. Its true that this is what she had come to do today. Although she did not remember sitting down to do it.

    She liked that this was an easy place to get people who would offer to be painted for free without having to either pay someone, or deal with the idea of using someone you knew. Mei never asked anyone she knew to model for her like this, since there is a kind of added level of awkwardness to ask to paint someone you know nude if you don''t have that type of relationship with them. And if you need practice for various types of bodies, it would lead to repeat awkwardness if you had to ask multiple times with different people. There was a certain level of freedom if it was someone you knew you never had to talk to again and who had no connection to you outside.

    The truth is, Mei was actually historically fairly shy, despite training herself to be able to act otherwise when needed. She would have been embarrassed to be seen naked by people she knew in the outside world, and she generally dressed fairly conservatively outside of coming here. But the midnight sun provided a kind of freedom in being its own separate edenic world. She was raised by her family to not be seen in general. To be like a ghost who could be called on when wanted, but to not take up space when not desired. This affected a lot of how she saw herself, both in terms of social interactions with others, and even how she saw her own body. It gives rise to a fear of intimacy and connection. And this can lead to a sense of embarrassment at being seen. Both in a sense of being seen as someone who takes up space in the world - as a person with needs of their own, as well as being the body that represents this person.

    While here, she had painted many people of varying ages and appearances. While she certainly enjoyed painting attractive women and men, she also enjoyed the uplifting act of finding an artistic way to add a beautiful flair to the appearance of anyone who came by. It was not uncommon for people to lose confidence in how they looked, especially as they aged. For even with the advent of biotechnology that slows the effects of aging, they could not be stopped forever. But she was inwardly happy to see how she could brighten the day of someone who did not have much self-esteem in their own image, knowing how much it could mean to them. Though she herself would often not express this joy outwardly, due to difficulty in expression stemming from how she was raised.

    Although she never had much wide-scope luck as an artist, the midnight sun itself had bought a few of the paintings she had painted there to hang up as decoration. Although these tended to not be in the most central places, as these spaces were reserved for pieces of more renown. Often, people would deliberately come to her for commissions when she was there, so she could grab some money on the side. Money being one of those things that always works against you.

    The woman suddenly spoke up, breaking Mei out of her reverie.

    ¡°Could I ask you something, if you don''t mind?¡±

    Mei furrowed her brows. She usually did mind. Though she noticed herself thinking this, and felt a twinge of guilt about it.

    ¡°Sure, go ahead.¡±

    ¡°I''ve seen you come here before. But you don''t really seem to talk to people that often. And you always come alone. Why is it that you don''t socialize more when you are here?¡±

    Mei was a little annoyed by the question, as well as how often she received variants of it. Everyone always wants to know why you don''t speak up or smile more, but they usually aren''t happy with the answer if you are too honest about it. She initially considered coldly saying that she didn''t care about interacting. But she knew that this was not true.

    She was aware that she came off standoffish, even though it wasn''t always her intent. This was a place that people usually came to either to socialize or brought people with them to begin with to spend time with. So for someone to come alone and rarely do either would stand out. But with great pain, she chose to be more honest, stifling her annoyance, figuring that it wouldn''t matter what she shared if it were with a stranger.

    ¡°I suppose... I''m not very good at it.¡±

    She thought for a moment before going on.

    ¡°I could say that I don''t feel like I belong here. But the truth is, I don''t really feel like I belong anywhere.

    ¡°When I was young, I was raised to be distrustful of outsiders. I was told by my family that they were the only ones who ultimately mattered. But this wasn''t just a passive thing. They would also even sabotage my attempts to interact with others, to try to keep me dependent on their own company.

    ¡°But despite this, I didn''t really have a place in my family either. I was supposed to be there when they needed me. But it didn''t really go both ways. They themselves were never there for me back, when it was me who needed them. For a long time, I tried to be compliant, hoping that one day they would show recognition. But that day never came.

    ¡°In the end, I was raised to be alone. For awhile, I didn''t even have friends. Mainly on account of them being pushed away. Sometimes by my family. But if I am being truthful, often even by me myself. Because it was all that I knew. All that I had ever known.¡±

    She paused.

    ¡°It''s difficult to solve problems like this, even if you are aware of them. When you are raised to be antisocial, you often find yourself not even trying to interact, even if you want to. There is a polarity trying to pull you in two different directions at once.

    ¡°I''m getting better at it now, but... it''s not easy. It doesn''t help either when you also have to deal with untrustworthy people.¡±

    Mei noticed that she was being more open than she normally was. She wondered why.

    ¡°Some people say it''s funny to go to a place like this after saying how upsetting it can be to be objectified and knowing it can happen here. But it''s a little different though, when it''s a situation you choose to be in yourself. It''s funny in a way. If you are choosing to be seen, it is not the same as when people are forcing something on you. It''s a situation where you are taking more control of how you are perceived.

    ¡°And in a way, there can be something comforting about that. It''s not your true self. But it is a self you choose to convey. And this act of being seen how you choose can mean a lot to someone who has spent so long feeling like they haven''t been able to.

    ¡°I suppose that''s what I really want in the end. To be seen for who I really am. But... who am I?¡±

    Mei set down her paintbrush and zoned out for a moment while looking at the painting. The rest of the painting was done, but the face was still unfinished. When she came to, she realized she had been mostly just monologuing and looked over the canvas to speak again, but found that the seat was empty. She was confused for a moment, since she didn''t hear anyone leave. She tried to remember the woman''s face from memory but found herself unable to. She waited for some time to see if the woman would return, but she saw no further evidence of her presence. So, looking at the painting and thinking it over, she drew an x over the face, conveying its incompleteness.

    <hr>

    Later in the day, as Mei was setting up a new canvas, an opposite-sex couple who both had blue hair came up to her, looking skittish. They came off like they felt rather out of place in the environment, like it was not somewhere they were used to being. They looked like they wanted to speak but were having trouble knowing where to begin, having a few false starts before they began for real.

    ¡°Hi, sorry, are you the one who does paintings? If you have the time, we would like to pay for a painting of the two of us together, if you don''t mind.¡±

    Mei wondered whether it was her who came off intimidating or whether they just weren''t used to being naked in public. They looked comfortable with each other but visibly a little uncomfortable with the situation, like they weren''t sure whether they should be covering themselves or whether they were allowed to look around. But this was no surprise. People who weren''t used to places like this often felt this way.

    ¡°Yes, that''s me.¡±

    Mei thought about what might make them feel more at ease and wondered why she came off so intimidating. Maybe it was the fact that her basic expression looked cold ¨C like it had the pent-up collection of an eternity of isolation and rage. But no, it couldn''t be that.

    ¡°I''m just finished setting up right now, if you are ready now.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we are free now.¡±

    Mei finished stabilizing the canvas.

    ¡°Okay, then.¡±

    They sat down in front of her, nervously beginning a story about themselves and talking over each other slightly as they tried to get their story straight.

    ¡°Our names are Jonah and June. We are from... elsewhere. We can never... we are never in one place for very long. We''ve never been to a place like this before. Ordinarily, we aren''t this open, but it seemed like a good experience to have since no one we know would be around. You know what we mean.¡±

    She didn''t. She wasn''t sure why they felt like they needed to sound like they had a convincing backstory for being travelers. But she did understand their need to have a convincing backstory for how they ended up here. As if they were worried about her opinions on them being here as if she wasn''t here herself and was judging them as an outsider.

    ¡°Are you sure a painting is good for if you are always moving around? That''s a type of thing that could be damaged.¡±

    They looked like they were thinking.

    ¡°Well, a small one. We like to travel light. But one that could be kept in luggage. You know, a decoration so that wherever we go, it will feel like home. Since we can''t keep our home with us. If you have something that always stays the same, it''s different than if it''s just an empty hotel room.¡±

    Mei had become a little curious now. They didn''t explicitly say this, but from their tone, they seemed to imply that moving around wasn''t entirely by choice but something that was forced on them. Maybe they were on the run from someone. She wasn''t going to ask, but she hoped that they would reveal it themselves in due course. Whether intentionally or otherwise.

    But for now, she would work on the picture. She thought best about how to ask her next question without embarrassing them.

    ¡°So how do you want this to look? You can be holding or laying on each other if you like.¡±

    They looked immediately nervous. She suspected that the idea of something more explicit appealed to them, but that they would be unwilling to admit to it or to pose in an overtly suggestive way in public for so long. Whatever, she didn''t want to push it. But she didn''t want to wait forever for them to come up with a pose themselves either, when they were obviously too nervous to make their own suggestion. She gestured with her hands.

    ¡°Here. If you want, you can stand at a slight angle facing me, with your arms around her waist, and she can face you at an angle with her arms on your chest.¡±

    ¡°O-okay.¡±

    This image appealed to Mei too. But she did not express this. Artists existed in a kind of realm where they were supposed to pretend they were neutral about this type of aesthetic, even if everyone collectively knew that it wasn''t true.

    She sat down and started painting. They continued on with making some small talk, and while she did respond to it from time to time, she was not focusing on it closely. Although there were some exceptions, she figured that it was likely that if they wanted a nude picture of themselves to be the centerpiece of wherever they were staying that, based on how they were acting about it, they didn''t really expect much in the way of company. It was true that they came off a little lonely. Not necessarily like they didn''t go out, but that, like they said, they couldn''t stay in one place for long, and so were likely unable to make much in the way of lasting connections.

    Mei had always been somewhat perceptive, even before training to focus on it. It became an act of survival when raised with a narcissistic family, because it would become an important task for you even from a young age to make sure you understood their feelings so that you could placate them. So when talking to people, for practice, she often tried to figure out what their story was. But perception isn''t magic. You can tell things about people using identifiable facts and actions, like the great detective, but it is always fallible. And there are always limits.

    Right now, she was struggling to deduce what it was they were trying to convey about moving around. They didn''t seem physically worried, like they were in danger. Their lack of comfort seemed to come from the place itself, and they seemed to be treating it like a vacation. If they weren''t in physical danger or anxious about being followed, there must be some other reason they couldn''t stay in the same place. If it was just to get away from family, you wouldn''t need to continually move around.

    Heh. Family. Maybe she was just projecting.

    She thought through what the possible explanations could be. It''s possible they were misrepresenting themselves. But she didn''t think so. They made it seem like a real thing that they were nervous to talk about. It''s obviously possible it was some kind of work-related reason. But this didn''t seem accurate either. In the end, nothing she went over really worked as an explanation. Though there could always be some type of possibility she wasn''t considering. Sometimes the explanation was something so abstract you couldn''t really hope to parse it easily, even with information.

    The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    She closed her eyes for a second to think. If it wasn''t that they had to move through places, then what was it? She tried to think outside the box, meditating on the question. And in the process of doing so, the answer quickly shifted into focus. Clicking suddenly into place in a bout of satori.

    She opened her eyes and looked back at them.

    ¡°It''s not places that you have to move between, is it? It''s one time period that you can''t stay in for very long.¡±

    Both of them became suddenly visibly paler, looking shocked, in a way that immediately telegraphed both that she was right and that neither of them expected this to be recognized about them. At first, they looked fearful, like an important secret had been discovered about them. They looked at each other worried for a second, as if they were unsure what to do or whether this would come to be a problem.

    Mei looked around the side of the canvas and smiled, tapping her head.

    ¡°Don''t worry. Your secret is safe with me.¡±

    They continued looking at each other nervously for a time. Although it seemed like hearing this put them more at ease.

    ¡°How did you know that about us?¡±

    Mei smiled slightly and closed her eyes.

    ¡°Here, I will tell you a little secret of my own.

    ¡°There is something I need to do. It will be the most important thing that I have ever done. It is for this purpose that I have lived.

    ¡°Heh... Maybe that''s my low self-esteem talking. I should think more about myself.

    ¡°It is something I have trained for for a long time. Being able to know things about the people who are around me is something I needed to be able to do for this purpose.¡±

    They looked at each other, still confused, but now looking a little less worried, understanding by this point that she didn''t mean to antagonize them.

    ¡°But you don''t know us, do you? We are the ones who came here to see you.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± she said back. She was still painting the picture, although their nervous movements had made it a bit more difficult. ¡°I didn''t know anything about you before you sat down. I learned to pick up on things quickly. It''s something you have to be able to do. But, if you are okay with it, if you tell me your story, I will tell you mine.¡±

    They looked at each other for a while, considering this. Mei could tell at a point that they had already decided that they would share, but were still mentally going over the act of doing it. She waited patiently.

    ¡°We are... the original cases of Parfit syndrome. Which, if you don''t know, requires us to go into hypersleep for long stretches of time. And we can only be awake for not even a year every two decades.

    ¡°We actually used to have good lives in the past. But we lost everything. Our family... friends... For a time, we thought we were alone, since we didn''t know anyone else we would be able to keep with us. And being the first ones with the condition, the possibility of discovering someone else like us didn''t even occur to us originally.

    ¡°And... if we are being honest... both of us didn''t handle it well at the beginning. I can''t deny that there were points before we found each other where we had both thought about death. But we were lucky to last long enough to push through.¡±

    They stopped and hesitated before going on.

    ¡°Well, being honest, there are still times that aren''t easy. Nothing ever really ends. And I''m not going to lie and say that there aren''t still times that are hard on us. We still have bad days... and we probably always will. But I suppose that it''s helpful to know that things being hard isn''t always a failure state. Sometimes it''s just how things are.

    ¡°And well... that''s really it. They still haven''t found a cure. Things could be better. But we found each other. And it''s certainly a significant improvement over when we were alone.¡±

    Mei thought about this.

    ¡°I see. Sorry to hear that.¡±

    They were looking a bit more brave now, but looked like they still wanted a break from talking about themselves. Mei figured it was a difficult subject for them, hence why they didn''t seem like they volunteered information on it easily. And it was probably also not easy for them to share what they had already.

    ¡°How... how about you?¡±

    Mei thought to herself for awhile.

    ¡°I suppose you can say I lost my family as well. They''re not dead. Not physically, anyways. Its more that I underwent a revelation. And in my process of self discovery, I realized that they were never really my family.

    ¡°There is a profound sense of disorientation at the moment where you wake up, and realize suddenly that you are surrounded by strangers. That they have always been strangers. That you spent your whole life trying to get to know them and to have them see you, only to realize you are no further than when you started.

    ¡°You can look back to the last time that you felt like you could take joy in their presence. And feel sadness that, at the time, you couldn''t have known that it was never going to happen again. That one day it will fall off, and that once it does, you can never get it back. But... life is what you make of it. The family that matters is the one you choose.¡±

    She looked at them intently.

    ¡°I can''t imagine the pain that both of you have gone through. But I''m glad for you that, despite everything, you too have found a family that you can choose to be with. Some aren''t always so lucky.¡±

    They looked at her with a somber expression. Then at each other, thinking this over.

    ¡°Thank you. And it''s true. Being together has given us a new appreciation for life. There were things we took for granted before. But now we know never to do so again.¡±

    They paused, like they were now done speaking. She looked reflective for a moment before speaking back.

    ¡°I suppose you want to know now what it is that I have to do.¡±

    She looked forward fiercely, with a demeanor that was frightening to behold. Though they knew the glare was not meant for them, it still made both of them nervous.

    ¡°I''m going to kill the absolute one. The one that has been ruling over humanity since ancient times. The one that... took my family from me. The one that has taken countless families from countless people.

    ¡°Perhaps this has little to do with you. But I feel you can relate. As ones who lost your own families.¡±

    She leaned forward, and put her hands up.

    ¡°You know, you''re the first people I told this to. Ordinarily, I have to be secretive. Since this is a business steeped in danger.¡±

    Jonah and June sat there solemnly. They didn''t quite understand what it was they were hearing, but they understood that they were being entrusted with a large secret.

    ¡°But why tell us in particular then? If it is so important that no one knows?¡±

    She shook her head.

    ¡°I don''t know why, really. Maybe it is a hunch. But... you shared your own story with me. And I know it wasn''t easy for you.¡±

    Jonah and June thought about it and then smiled.

    ¡°Well, we can''t say we understand what you are doing. Maybe that''s for the best. But we appreciate being trusted with something. To be honest, you are the first one we have talked to about this either. After we lost our original families and friends, that is. It''s not something that comes to you to want to talk about easily. On account of how alienated it is from the experiences of others. Even if someone is being understanding, there can be a fear of being pitied. Treated like your only identity is as a victim. And that isn''t how you want to be perceived. You want to be treated like you have a life of your own. An identity outside your situation.

    ¡°So... thank you. For treating us like people, I mean. For we have felt like phantoms for a long time.¡±

    Mei smiled back.

    ¡°That, however, is a feeling I can relate to. Being something of a phantom myself.¡±

    They shuffled around a bit again, looking suddenly sheepish.

    ¡°But it''s still a bit embarrassing though, you know? It is not easy to willingly show your weakness. Which is why we come and go and never really tell anyone who we are.¡±

    Mei shook her head.

    ¡°Perhaps not. But it is the only way to show your determination. I too have shown you my weakness. Keep it safe.¡±

    They nodded.

    ¡°We will.¡±

    She smiled back.

    ¡°In the end, you won''t have to keep it secret for very long. Soon, you will go back to sleep. And you will take this secret with you. By the time you next awake, this will all be over. At that time, you can come and seek me out again. And if I am still alive, I will tell you how it went.

    ¡°But I''m sorry. From your perspective, I won''t be here long. Just the blink of an eye.¡±

    She came to the end of the painting. But something felt like it was still missing. Mei thought about it. And then she drew a red ribbon going between them, like they were tied together by the hands. She wrapped it and handed it to them solemnly.

    ¡°Everything fades. But there are some things you can keep with you. Take these memories. And may the thought of them keep you warm for your entire life. Remember me when I am only dust. And I will remember you in turn.

    ¡°But for now, I think you had better go.¡±

    They looked up. She held up four fingers.

    ¡°Death follows me. And it is approaching quickly.¡±

    They looked at her, at first confused. But they could see from her expression that this was meant literally. And that if they stayed any longer, they were about to be in danger. They bowed and accepted the package, and then both of them held out their hands on top of each other.

    ¡°Thank you. We will see you again. In another life.

    ¡°So... please don''t die.¡±

    She nodded back at them and put her hand on theirs.

    ¡°I''ll be waiting. And... I won''t.¡±

    ***

    Mei was sitting quietly, waiting for what was about to happen.

    ¡°Thank you for allowing them safe passage.¡±

    A voice emanated back from the shadows.

    ¡°Please. What do you take us for? We know this has nothing to do with them.¡±

    A figure with a commanding presence began slowly walking out from the darkness on the far side of the room. Mei knew who it was, though she had never met him personally. It was Feng Weihong, the proprietor of the midnight sun and administrator of quite a bit of clandestine and dangerous occult projects. Ones that had been unfortunately escalating over time. He was slightly older, though he looked like he had undergone quite a bit of biohacking in order to ensure that he would stay in peak condition.

    Four male guards followed him out, spacing themselves evenly across the opening, wearing only straps for holding equipment. She suspected from the appearance of their nude physiques, that the guards had probably taken an enhancement injection just before coming here, for the sake of intimidation. But she wasn''t very impressed by this.

    Well, maybe she was impressed a little.

    ¡°We were waiting for the day when the techno-gnostics would come to us. But we did not know there was one already in our midst. Your kind can be quite the elusive bunch.¡±

    Mei shook her head and spoke, mostly to herself.

    ¡°Some of us don''t like attracting attention.¡±

    The man sat down, though the guards behind him remained standing, brandishing guns.

    ¡°I won''t bother to introduce myself, for I presume you know who I am already. And by all means, do dispense with formalism, for I find it rather uncouth.

    ¡°But I too know who you are, Lan Xiumei. And I know also why you are here. For it was I who brought you here after all. I won''t bother lying to you by denying that we have the artifact you are looking for. But I am afraid that you cannot be allowed to take it back with you. For we are nearing the completion of our project.

    ¡°But fear not. For it is being put to good use. And though they might not see my perspective now, I believe that you and your compatriots will come around to it in time.¡±

    She looked at the guards, and responded without changing her expression.

    ¡°So... why did you bring us here, then? You must have had a reason.¡±

    He held up his arms.

    ¡°We regret to operate under so harsh of circumstances, I assure you. But there is more from you that we need. We have offered before, but we understand already that you won''t be willing to work with us. So we were limited to these harsher means. Please do not hold it against us. For one does what one must. And the costs at stake are rather high, as even you yourselves know well.¡±

    Mei leaned back and frowned. With his facade of diplomacy, Weihong was, of course, glossing over that his people had come to shootouts with the techno-gnostics before, and that there was a long history behind this. Mei, too, had been caught up in some of these altercations since getting involved, although she was not there to see where it all began.

    ¡°Make no mistake. We understand that there is value in your approach. But you cannot be so single-minded. The structures of the past can be stifling. But you must look to the future. Progression is no progress at all if you do it without a sense of development. And an unfortunate fact of the world is that there is no development without risk, no matter how much we try to avert it.

    ¡°It is... not always an easy thing. For risk comes with danger. And danger comes with suffering. But it is unavoidable. It would be a weakness to shy away from the future on account of these risks. We know this. And we are prepared to pay this price. The future waits for no one. And we must take the chance to act while it still remains.¡±

    She thought about it.

    ¡°There is some truth to this. But not all sacrifices are good. And if you lean too far into legitimizing unnecessary suffering, you can end up back where you started.¡±

    He shook his head and continued on.

    ¡°It is never an easy thing when comrades are lost. But it is at times unavoidable. You must be prepared to do what it takes if you want to carve out a path towards the shining future. It is on those who refuse to fight against the chains of tradition that they stay bound. The future is for those who will rise up and take it. Complacency means death. For those who bind you will not have mercy. For they had... none for me. None for any of us.

    ¡°Please don''t believe that I like this any more than you do. But this is reality. The way of the Tao. No one can change it, not even Tian.¡±

    She quietly finished her drink and set the cup face down.

    ¡°I feel your pain. But the truth is that what you are doing is far too dangerous. And you risk hurting a lot more people than just those who have been lost already.

    "You should be careful. Don''t let your pain guide you.¡±

    He hesitated before speaking.

    ¡°...No. It would be disrespectful to those who have given their lives for our dream if we were to give up now. There is no going back for us.¡±

    He stood up slowly.

    ¡°Make no mistake. I did not expect convincing you to be possible at this stage. But I thought that I should still try one last time. Do not blame us for this. It was your... own doing.¡±

    He raised his hand, and made a motion forward.

    ¡°We are going to have to take you in. For now, that is.¡±

    She looked around at the armed guards.

    ¡°Hmm.¡±

    She shook her head.

    ¡°Sorry, but unfortunately for you...

    She looked up.

    ¡°We also knew you were coming.¡±

    As she said this, several explosions went off in the distance, causing Weihong to look up, shocked. Before they could react, she grabbed her coat and kicked up the table, blocking several sudden shots from the guards. Weihong began to shout at them in indignation.

    ¡°Don''t shoot, you fools! We need her alive.¡±

    He lowered his tone.

    ¡°At least... if it can be managed. But if you cannot, then do what you must.¡±

    The guards, still surprised over the sudden table flip, slowly began to move around the side, guns raised. But when they got there, they were shocked to see that she was gone, and that there was a hole cut through the wall with a vibro-saber that had been partially pushed back closed.

    They quickly scurried to pry it open, but as they were only armed with guns and not a saber themselves, they were stumbling over themselves, taking some time at it. Weihong gritted his teeth, and turned around quickly to see what the rest of the explosions were, motioning to two of the guards to come with him.

    Outside the building, a rope descended from the sky, and a bag slid down it. Mei kissed her fingers and held them up as a sign of gratitude to the one who had made the weapons dropoff. She ran and grabbed the bag while quickly ducking behind a tree as a sniper''s bullet sped past her. From the bag, she took new guns, and throwing on her open coat so that she wouldn''t be fully naked for an altercation, she placed some of them inside of it. Though her saber had already been inside the building with her, hidden inside her easel.

    Peering around the tree, she looked up at the central tower. From her intel, she believed that the pinnacle of the tower was the place she was trying to reach. The midnight sun could only have so many guards on any given day. But she still expected the climb to be rather difficult. In truth, the firefight out front that was being staged was all to distract most of the guards so as to give her an opening. Although they chose a time that was less active, she prayed that no outsiders would get caught in the crossfire.

    <hr>

    Mei climbed the last staircase, looking to the right at the large ornamental clock on the wall. Behind her was a long path of blood. She looked at her saber. Then down the hallway. There was only one remaining guard. She started walking in his direction. And he held up a gun, but was shaking as he did.

    He looked frightened. Hesitated for a few moments, unsure what to do, and dropped his weapon.

    ¡°I''m the only one left. Please. Don''t kill me.¡±

    She lunged up and held him against the wall with the side of her forearm, feeling his body shaking in fear, and sensing for his intentions. But he was being genuine. He didn''t want to die here today. And he knew that if he pushed his luck, he wasn''t going to come out on top.

    She pulled her hand back.

    ¡°Go.¡±

    He hesitated, but ultimately backed away, scooted to the side, and then slowly picked up at going off running. Mei thought to herself for a moment. She still had a habit of going easy on enemies when incapacitating them if it was possible. But she wondered if this wasn''t sometimes a weakness. In a situation that is life and death, you can''t afford to go easy. Even if you can defeat six people, it does not mean you can defeat sixty. And what is one life against the whole world? Does the times hesitation works out justify them? Or was that only an excuse?

    She watched his quickly retreating backside to make sure he was gone, and then looked back at the door at the end of the hallway and walked towards it. She hesitated, considering whether this would result in her having to pay for it, but then slashed the door and kicked the door in, sending it flying into the room.

    On the inside, the room looked more like a lab than a penthouse, sticking out from other rooms in the resort by having a more utilitarian cybernetic appearance and walls lined with servers. On the ground, there was a glowing mandala, depicted with lines from it to the center of the room. Weihong was standing quietly, facing the central pillar, on which was a small black artifact.

    He looked back at her, then sighed and looked back down.

    ¡°Eh? How did you get past fifteen guards?¡±

    He looked a little guilty.

    ¡°I hope they are not hurt more than necessary.¡±

    She aimed the gun at him.

    ¡°I did what I could.¡±

    He turned around to face her, hesitating before speaking.

    "Then, I suppose, I must thank you as well.

    ¡°I see now that I perhaps underestimated what you are capable of. I thought they sent someone for mere reconnaissance, but... you aren''t just an ordinary techno-gnostic, are you? It is... perhaps on me for such a misjudgment.

    ¡°...¡±

    But switching gears, he held up his arm to gesture behind him.

    ¡°Do you see this? This is the core of the entire facility. This is... the midnight sun.

    ¡°I created this facility as a breeding ground for what you call jing. The entire resort was created to facilitate production. And all of it is filtered here to be used as an energy source. With this, we will be able to surpass our human limits. It will be a masterpiece of inner alchemy, unleashing strength that can rival even Sakras himself!

    ¡°My goal and that of the techno-gnostics is one and the same. It is a pity that they could not understand my vision. It is their weakness and hesitation that will be their undoing.¡±

    She held up the gun.

    ¡°What you are doing is dangerous. You''re going to destroy half the city.¡±

    He clenched his teeth, looking like he was thinking.

    ¡°No. I''ve come too far to give up now. It is you can''t see the true potential involved in this. It is true that I would have liked more time to prepare. But I will have to activate it early.¡±

    He pulled out the black core and raised it up.

    Mei clutched her gun tighter.

    ¡°I feel like you are going to regret doing whatever it is you are about to do.¡±

    ¡°No. I will make you see the true power... of the midnight sun.¡±

    She tried shooting at him before he pressed the button, but she realized that it was too late and that a protective barrier had been up since before she even entered the room. He activated the core, and before him, a shape began to coalesce, cascading spots around the floor which gathered together, eventually taking the form of a sphere.

    ¡°Tch.¡±

    The sun slowly formed into a solid shape, and as it did, he stood behind it, mesmerized and holding up his hands. His eyes shone in awe, seeing it unleashed for the first time as its dark light cascaded around the room.

    ¡°The power of the dark sun... it is finally within our grasp.¡±

    He stayed mesmerized in awe like this for a moment, reveling in its glow. Mei looked around, uncertain what to do if her weapons turned out not to be effective. She walked around towards him, though at this point his gaze was not on her at all, being totally engrossed in the sun itself, as if he had totally forgotten her presence.

    However, all at once, his serene expression began to turn negative.

    ¡°W-what?¡±

    As the orb in front of him grew to the shape and appearance of a small black star, he began to feel that its aura was overbearing, and it was beginning to burn him with cold burns. He picked the artifact back up to see what was going wrong but could not decipher what the issue was with it and was beginning to look nervous, like he did not have a lot of time to decipher it.

    ¡°No. Not now! I have come so far.

    ¡°It''s right in front of me! My future is so close.¡±

    He struggled with the artifact to try to control it, but he began to have a look of panic on his face and movements as he realized he could not. And as he lost control, the artifact itself was pulled into the sun, his arm trailing behind it as he now realized that it was lost.

    As he suddenly woke up to the realization that he no longer had a way to control it, he turned and started clawing to get away from it, but before he could react or move sufficiently, it quickly began to burn through him. He was now clawing at himself as he burned away.

    Before burning away entirely, he paused and then slowly looked up at Mei with shame-filled eyes. For a moment that seemed to last eternally their eyes met. And then he looked down in shame as his body collapsed.

    Mei kept looking at the growing black star, which had begun to burn other objects in the room. Initially, she was thinking of how to stop it. But upon accidentally looking too deeply into it herself, this overpoweringly gave way to a thoughtless jhana of contemplation. With her vocalizing her trance out loud.

    ¡°The midnight sun. I never thought I would see it... with my own eyes.¡±

    She stared into it, mesmerized, passing out of space and time. For while on the surface it was just a ball of plasma, you could see beyond it and into the depths of the complex plane. It felt like it went on forever. And you could feel that you could see that which was infinitely distant but infinitely clear.

    She was becoming lost in it, forgetting about the situation surrounding her or the growing danger. But realizing that she was becoming lost, she mentally forced herself to snap out of it and drag herself back to the present. She held up her gun to shoot at it again, but the shots dissolved before reaching it and had little effect. She grimaced, unsure of what she could do if the thing controlling it was inside of the sun itself. The blade would likely have no effect either.

    She looked up. The building had a sprinkler system, but the ball of plasma was likely too large, and it wouldn''t be enough to put it out. She had to find a way to get more water to the room, and as the sun was growing larger, she did not have unlimited time. There was no telling how large it could grow, and if left unchecked, it might even take out several city blocks.

    Since this was a head office room, she went to the speaker and announced over it that the building was in danger and should be evacuated. She had no ability to call for an evacuation of the surrounding blocks, however, and needed to find a solution to this before it became a danger to them.

    She rubbed the sides of her head to think. There would be a lot of water coming up through the pipes, but it is not all in this room. She needed to find a way to redirect it. She ignited her saber and held it up to the sensor to start the sprinklers. She cut the head off the sprinkler so that extra water could come out, and then ran back through the other rooms on the floor, heating the saber up to weld them closed, in the hopes it would push the extra water to the room.

    She came back to the room and saw that there was a larger water flow than before. But it wasn''t enough to put out the sun. While it was pouring out onto it and burning into steam, the sun was restoring itself quickly and still growing in size. But she saw an opening. Where the water was pouring, there was a gap in the plasma. So she jumped to the side, picked up the gun, and shot into the hole to hit the inside core.

    The core flew out from the sun and into the opposite wall. As it did though, cracks through space appeared within the room, shaking it from an angle that transcended three-dimensional space as the sun began to collapse in on itself.

    <hr>

    Mei woke up in an empty desert. She looked around her. The ground was composed of black sand, with occasional green energy lines pulsing through it. And in the dim sky, like an embodiment of Yin, was the dark sun, radiating across the landscape something that was neither light nor darkness. She realized that she must have been pulled into this cyber-esoteric space by the sun itself. Looking around, she could see nothing in any direction, but one figure ahead of her on a dune, hard to see.

    The dark sun radiated off a cool heat. One that did not feel like a normal temperature at all, but like something that existed on a separate axis entirely. The environment was very still. With nothing to be heard but the faint sound of a quiet wind. She looked down, and she could see that she was still naked. And she had nothing else around her. So she began walking towards the figure.

    At first, she felt like moving towards the figure made no sense of progress, but she pressed on despite this. It didn''t seem to move toward her in a linear fashion. But though it did not advance towards her, gradually she found herself in front of it for an indescribable amount of time.

    She could see now that it was a figure sitting on a singular lotus, in contemplation ¨C the only plant surrounding them in all the desert. As she approached, the figure looked up and faced her. She showed no surprise, as it was revealed to have the face of Weihong. But now emblazoned on the body of a tantric deity, majestic to behold, and bearing many arms.

    Weihong looked at her quietly, but then looked down in shame. On his face, she could see a sense of deep regret. And she could sense that these were deep-seated doubts that he had been holding on to for a long time. He finally found the strength to speak, looking back up.

    ¡°I suppose that... my karma has finally caught up to me.

    ¡°I have led to the deaths of many people. And I was on a path to making a mistake that could have killed countless more.

    ¡°I believed that time would vindicate me. That when all was said and done, it would have been worth it, despite everything. The ones who followed me... I made promises to them that I could not keep. And the ones who died did so only for my own delusions. All because I was clouded by revenge.

    ¡°You know, I kept a list. With the names of everyone who worked for me who had died. And I looked at it from time to time. But as more names were put onto the list, it only made me feel more desperate. Like I needed to prove to them that it was not in vain.

    ¡°I suppose... I must have hurt those who are close to you as well.

    He was silent for a moment before speaking again.

    ¡°My strength is... almost spent. Soon, I will vanish from this world.

    ¡°...

    ¡°Is it... Is it too late to say I''m sorry?¡±

    She looked down at him.

    ¡°It never is.¡±

    He sat quietly again for awhile. And then he burst into tears, covering his face with his hands.

    ¡°Then I''m sorry. I''m so sorry. But I suppose that it must mean little from me now. I guess I''m only saying it to make myself feel better. After all that I have done.¡±

    ¡°That may be so. But it is a thing you should say all the same.¡±

    He sighed.

    ¡°For long have we suffered under tradition and seen how it bound those around us in chains. I sought to throw them off. I believed that those who could should strive to throw them off with their own hands.

    ¡°I don''t know if they told you this about me. But when I was growing up, it was... not in the best of situations. Much expectation was placed on me, but I was given little room to breathe. And I did not start with much, but much was expected of me. As an extent, I feared the rise and fall of one''s fortunes. And I sought to do what I could to rise above. And once I had the opportunity, I tried to break free to find out what life meant for myself, free from those expectations. All of this... it was part of my goal to find out what it meant to live freely.

    ¡°I tried... Believe me, I tried...

    ¡°But I''m afraid I never really knew. And in all my life, I have never felt at ease. I wanted to help people to have the strength to break from tradition. I knew that my path would bring forth strife, and I saw that there were those too who would be hurt by it. But I began to feel resentful of those who were too weak to walk this path. And I tried to convince myself that it was their own fault. For it was their weakness that would bring about their ruin. That if my path brought danger, it was on those who fell victim to it that they could not rise above.

    ¡°I believed that this strife was a mere unavoidable fact of life. After all, in freedom, there is danger. I gave everything to be free. What are those who would not struggle to escape their cage? What is life if you can''t rise to meet it?

    ¡°...

    ¡°I...

    ¡°I don''t know.

    ¡°I don''t really know what life is.

    ¡°Perhaps I never did.

    ¡°Perhaps it was me who was too weak to face the emptiness inside. For it was my own weakness that brought me here. And at the end of the long road, I have nothing to show for my sins.

    She looked down at him. Then moved over to stand next to him, looking up at the sun and speaking down at him.

    ¡°It''s not a crime to be weak. The world contains all kinds. And for those who can, they should use their strength to protect those who are in need of it. It is not just your strength, but how you use it that defines you. It is through weakness that you learn vulnerability. And it is through vulnerability that you learn trust. This is what it means to be human.

    She shook her head.

    ¡°The weak are necessary. For it is they who teach us what it means to protect.¡±

    He sat quietly for a time, contemplating.

    ¡°I suppose that in the end, I never found what it meant to have a fulfilling life. I wish, perhaps... that I could have met another one such as you earlier on. I believe that there is much I could have learned from you.

    ¡°...Heh. Had I never cut ties with the techno-gnostics, I suppose I would have. So that is yet one more thing that is on me.

    ¡°...

    ¡°You know, you remind me of someone. But he has been gone for a long time now, as well.¡±

    He paused for a moment in reflection, and then looked over at her.

    ¡°I will entrust the future now then to you. You can have the sun. Take it and... do what you need to do.

    After speaking, he slowly stood up, changing his stance.

    ¡°But I believe I am going to have to be selfish once again. There is one more thing I need to request from you.

    He pulled out multiple shining swords, aiming them at her and donning a fierce demeanor, but with tears now streaming from his eyes.

    ¡°Show me.

    "Show me that you have what it takes to defeat the Jade archon.

    ¡°And show me what it means to be alive. For this moment is the only time that I will have ever known.

    The tears from his eyes had been pooling at the base of the esoteric space. From the pools, dark green foliage had begun growing, spreading, and flowering in the midnight sun. Mei reached down and picked a flower from the ground, putting it in her hair.

    She looked back at him over her shoulder, kicking up her saber from the flower that it was embedded in, grabbing it, and taking a fighting stance of her own. She closed her eyes for a moment and then looked back at him with determination.

    ¡°I am the messenger of death. Carry this message with you into the next life.¡±

    They stood for a long moment, staring at each other. And then rushed towards each other to slash.

    <hr>

    Mei woke up back in the room, lying on the floor. She leaned up to look around at what was destroyed and whether the sun had fully dissipated. But seeing that it was gone and tired after everything that had happened, she collapsed back onto the ground, laying on her back. She looked up at the ceiling and at the esoteric design that was emblazoned on it, thinking about the thought process that had gone into it.

    She thought that she should probably not stay here too long. Law enforcement might show up here, and possibly even temple guards. She also needed time to grab her clothes on the way out. She couldn''t very well just go back to the streets in only a coat if she intended to stay inconspicuous. She looked down at her body to see if she had any major injuries that she had not noticed due to adrenaline. But there didn''t seem to be any.

    She heard coughing from elsewhere in the room and tensed up since she had forgotten momentarily about Weihong. She stood up, and seeing his burned but still alive body, she walked over to him. Though from the state of his body, she could tell that he was too far gone to save. He mouthed like he had something to say, but he was too weak to speak out loud at this point. She kneeled down next to him to listen.

    ¡°And if it''s any consolation...¡±

    He smiled weakly.

    ¡°I really liked your paintings.¡±

    After saying this, he let out the rest of his breath. She looked back down at him and was going to respond, but realized now that he was already dead. She reached up and closed his eyes. She had heard a lot about him over the course of the past. He had been connected to the techno-gnostics as well. She wondered what it was in his own life that had caused him to give this up and to try to hijack their esoteric works for his own ends. But she supposed it no longer mattered now.

    She picked up the damaged core of the midnight sun and started walking back down towards the building''s entrance. She didn''t know what would happen to the resort now, but she hoped for the sake of Cade that it wouldn''t be shut down. And of course, despite everything, she would like to be able to come back to it one day as well. Perhaps now also in memoriam to those who had lost their lives to the dream that it had offered.

    Although... perhaps it was better to stay away for the time being.

 7: No Other Way

    Feng Weihong (more commonly known as Wei) looked out the window of the mobile arctic outpost. At this distance out, there was nothing but ice for miles on end, broken up by little but cliffs and open water. There was a faint sound of wind and snow, taunting you as if to say that venturing out was not a possibility. Not that he had any inclination to do so at the moment.

    Out here, it felt like you were truly alone in the world. There were times and places when loneliness could be somber. But this wasn''t one of them. There was something truly special about being able to look off into the distance as the sun set, seeing only the frozen white as it trailed off to the infinite distance of the blue hours.

    He liked to sit looking out the window for long stretches, getting lost in the natural imagery in thoughtless contemplation. Although he could sense the cold, it was fairly warm and cozy inside the mobile outpost, creating an atmosphere as if sitting by a fireplace on a winter day. A dialectical polarization, like a sun surrounded by the empty void of space.

    It was in these moments where the silence seemed to amplify the latent beauty of the surroundings. The untouched wilderness held a serene power, as if looking into it made you feel on the verge of an important realization. One that never comes, yet is infinitely near. Wei welcomed these moments. He had a lot to reflect on. And the question of himself and what it meant to be alone was a major part of it.

    Hyperborea had always had an eerie reputation, for as long as humans had traversed it. People who ventured to its cold depths had often reported seeing or feeling strange things. Ones they could not explain. Like a form of abstract presence that pervaded you in your solitude. But many wondered whether this was merely their mind playing tricks on them or an indication of something deeper in the location. Perhaps in some way though, however, these things were one and the same.

    But the sun hung low now on the horizon, casting long shadows across the frozen wasteland as it descended, threatening to disappear. He could not rest forever. He was here for a purpose. There was a faint energy signature discovered out here in the northern pole of Hyperborea. Although they were not entirely clear the exact nature of what they were looking for, from the signature, it was understood that it was potentially something important. And likewise, that they needed to take control of it before the temple guards could. This entire process had to stay subtle. They needed to give it a pretense of being a normal exploration mission, covered under the guise of normal arctic research.

    In order to give it this pretense, they piggybacked their mission onto that of an ordinary Arctic research team. This process was headed by a techno-gnostic who was in the know and who would also handle their true goals on the down low. And so their true mission was kept separate from the other researchers. This also had the benefit of handling a decent amount of the funding. Because it was no cheap matter to come out here with massive amounts of equipment, and money was not something that was unlimited. When possible, you needed to hitch your work to something else and try to stay under the radar so that there was a limited trail as to your true activities.

    Wei started moving through the snow again. He drove the snowcat further along the icy terrain, peering out from the cabin. It purred with a mechanical hum, and its treads churning up powdery snow as it moved along. He didn''t expect to find anything today at this point. He was merely hoping to triangulate the position a little better so as to get a better idea for where to look the next time he was out. He was discouraged slightly, from the fact that he had been out for awhile but had not made any significant progress on this front.

    But as he was getting closer to giving up and turning around, suddenly his radar started giving a new strange signal. One he could not easily make out. Looking it over, he turned to the side to try to get a better read on what it was picking up, and as he did, he had to stop suddenly as he came up to a sudden ravine that he had not seen from further back, bordering on falling in. He could see that the ravine was causing a disturbance and that this had been blocking it from further off, but now that he was near the edge, he could tell that underneath this was where the reading was coming from. He got out of the snowcat to look closer, much to his dismay as he felt the biting cold for the first time today.

    He played around with his equipment, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. While the reading did not make sense to him, its location and properties still implied that it was the initial signal they were looking for. But for the moment, there was little more that he could do from the surface. If they determined to go with this location, at the point they actually ventured further in, they would likely have to do so on foot, on account of the drop. But he suspected that once they got deeper in that it would be a shorter journey. He hoped that the ravine wouldn''t interfere too much with retrieving whatever they found there, although it would be no easy task to get something heavy up from it if that is what it came down to. Much less to do so inconspicuously when they had to operate in hiding.

    He looked over the edge. Something felt eerie about the area, no less so because of the scattered nature of the symbol. He was glad to not be going in alone but that he could return another day in company. Looking around a bit to make sure he was not missing anything else, he made a few notes of potential places to climb down from. This was not a major issue, but was still something he figured it would be worth laying out ahead of time. Satisfied that he had done enough for today and sighing in relief that he finally got closer to finding what they were looking for, he marked it off on his map and turned around back to the snowcat to go back to base.

    On his way back, while he was driving through a particularly desolate stretch of ice and reflecting on its solitude, Wei suddenly spotted a group of arctic foxes darting across his path, their sleek white fur blending seamlessly with the snowy terrain. As he jutted to a stop to avoid running them over, he watched in awe as the playful creatures frolicked around him in the snow before disappearing into the distance. It was a rare and beautiful sight, and something that made him think about the nature of his location. For him, he felt surrounded by nothingness. But there were creatures for which this was their home, and for which to them it was the island, not the void.

    He reflected on this for a moment before he continued his trip back.

    <hr>

    After disembarking, Wei looked in at the mess haul for Julius. There were a decent amount of people in here, but arctic bases tended to not be overly large in size. Most of the people here had no clue about his mission, with only a small handful being involved. And in order to keep them from engaging in suspicious fraternization, some of the people who were chosen did not know each other well, so as to prevent a higher chance of being always seen together.

    But Julius was not eating in here right now. Wei thought of where he might be and then walked down the corridor to search for him. As he did so, he glanced out the windows at the now-setting sun, which provided a moody air to the hyperborean scenery, casting long shadows along the hall. At the end of the corridor, he walked up to see Julius working on something at a table.

    Wei sat down backwards on a chair next to Julius and checked around once more to make sure no one else was near them.

    ¡°I think I pinned down the location of what we are looking for. My scanners found a large cavern underground, and there seems to be only a thin sheet of ice covering the shortest entryway. It might take a couple days of digging, but it seems like most of the inside is hollow. We won''t have to hollow out the entire way.¡±

    Julius looked nervous and looked around them himself. But seeing no one there, he looked back and breathed easy.

    ¡°Did you get the go-ahead for excavating it?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. We can begin tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°That''s good, then. But we shouldn''t talk about it too much. Not where others can hear.¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡±

    Wei looked down.

    ¡°What are you working on?¡±

    ¡°A carving.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I can see that. But I meant, like, of what specifically?¡±

    Julius held it up and made a funny face. It was part of a small abstract carving of a nude male figure holding a spear. The figure was carved of a dark brown wood, which, on account of this, bore a complexion similar to Julius himself.

    ¡°I always liked the idea of the pure human form in nature. I feel like people don''t respect it enough. It''s rare to see it presented outside of a sensual context these days. But there''s no reason it has to be limited this way.¡±

    Wei looked at the carving.

    ¡°Well, you do see it in art, though. I mean, that is what you are doing now.¡±

    ¡°True. But I don''t just mean in art. They could make places for stuff like that in real life. Ones to just chill at. You know, old sporting events used to be like this. In ancient times.¡±

    Wei thought about this.

    ¡°They could. But I suppose it would be difficult. People would act weird in that situation. Like, it wouldn''t be easy to sort between the people who could be normal and the ones who would make problems.¡±

    Julius shook his head and shot a sly glance.

    ¡°Perhaps. But the future can only be achieved by trying new things. Where''s your ambition?¡±

    Wei winced. Julius was being sarcastic, of course, because Wei was normally the one who talked about being more ambitious. But now it was different, and made him a bit sad to think about.

    ¡°Ambition, huh? Maybe I do need more of it.

    "Honestly, we all do. I feel like they are taking this struggle too slowly. There are people out there suffering. But everyone is moving at a snail''s pace."

    Julius looked thoughtful.

    ¡°Speed isn''t the only defining factor. This is sink or swim. It would be dangerous to try playing our hand before we are ready. Especially for the long game.¡±

    Wei made a face.

    ¡°I don''t mean going on the offensive. But people should be more embracing of risk. Weakness and hesitation aren''t going to win us wars. And there are things that we should be trying out that they are unwilling to engage in. New approaches.¡±

    Julius thought about it for a moment, but then shrugged and held up his arms.

    ¡°Hey, man. I don''t know anything about that. I''m just here for artifact collection. I just want to grab the stuff, get back to Fusang, and have me some good deep dish pizza. You can''t get it anywhere else, you know? I used to assume it was a worldwide type of thing, but apparently it is extremely regional."

    Wei laughed nervously before breaking into a more real laugh.

    ¡°Well, you can''t get much of anything out here.

    ¡°I still can''t say I''ve ever cared for deep dish much, though. It''s really more of a pie or casserole than a pizza.¡±

    ¡°Your loss. You need to bring your food into a higher dimension. The third dimension. Of pizza.¡±

    Julius shot him another sly grin.

    ¡°Perhaps you should... be a little more ambitious. Don''t settle for the flat shadow of what could otherwise be.¡±

    ¡°Heh. We all have to settle for something.¡±

    Wei looked more somber.

    ¡°I suppose that is life, though. You get told all these different things you are supposed to do. Some of them you even want to. But in the end, few people accomplish all of them. And you find yourself wondering what went wrong or how to handle the reality of the discrepancy between the promise of how life should go and how it goes in practice.¡±

    ¡°Hey, you know I was still talking about pizza though, right?¡±

    Wei went on, ignoring the interjection.

    ¡°I''m not really sure what life is. Maybe I never will be. But all I can do is try, you know? I''ll make mistakes. But I''ll carry on."

    He sat silent for a moment before continuing.

    ¡°I thought that the act of rebelling against the archons would in and of itself provide a meaning for me. Would give me a sense of purpose. And it''s true; it did, in a sense. But it can come with a kind of aimlessness. You know what you are not. But that doesn''t tell you what you are.

    ¡°When you lose your sense of meaning, it is hard to find new values. Especially if you still feel defined by what you are escaping from. You can find yourself over-correcting. Thinking that because you were taught that everything mattered, that now nothing does. That because everything was a rule, that now there are no rules. But it''s hard to live that way. Even if rules are arbitrary, they can still help you find meaning or peace. This is why so many comply so easily. Why the easy path is to never challenge what you are presented with.

    ¡°But I don''t know. What am I looking for? And how will I know when I find it?¡±

    Julius stood up to walk over and put his hand on Wei''s shoulder.

    ¡°You might be thinking too big. You don''t have to solve all the mysteries of the world yourself. You can dedicate yourself to a larger purpose, true. You can make sacrifices. But if that is all people did, there would be no one to benefit from it. Sometimes the purpose of life is to just take a walk. Let life ebb and flow. Certain parts won''t be perfect for you. But that is okay too. Just find people you care about, and make sure you spend time with them.¡±

    ¡°That is a little vague.¡±

    ¡°Life itself is a little vague. Some of it is just about being at peace with yourself.¡±

    Wei looked down sadly.

    ¡°Peace? I have never been at peace. Not with the anxiety that I have been saddled with. I can work on it. You know, I used to go to therapy. But the truth is, I can''t really escape from what happened to me. I am likely going to have it for my entire life.

    ¡°No... I think we need to keep fighting. Rest can breed stagnation. I get what you are saying. But I don''t think too much calm is good for you. It''s better to continue to move forward than to settle down. And this applies to all aspects of life. If you settle for trying to take pleasure in the little things, you will find that this is all the powers that be allow you.¡±

    Julius looked up solemnly.

    ¡°Who is to say? I suppose it is no easy matter to find the secrets to life. You aren''t wrong, though. There are many opportunities in life that can pass you by if you are too content. But I don''t think chasing them all is helpful.

    ¡°There are some things that I have lost as well. And I suppose that maybe I am just rationalizing it to make it easier to handle. But the truth is, there is a lot that I wish was different. And if I was more ambitious myself, maybe I could have carved out more of a place for it."

    Weihong felt pained at Julius'' words. Because he knew what it was that Julius was speaking of. Wei had been friends with Julius Kai from a young age, much to the dismay of Wei''s parents. Wei''s parents had always disliked Julius on account of him being mixed race between black and Fusangian. This ran afoul of their racial prejudices, although they tried to be ambiguous about what exactly their issue with him was. On account of this, and on account of how strict they were about his use of time, Wei had to struggle and sneak out to see Julius if he ever wanted to outside of school back then. Although they did at least have time to spend together when at school itself.

    When he was young, he saw this only as an issue for his parents. But over time, he realized it was not an uncommon one in society. Wei often felt a little guilty going out to certain places with Julius because, on account of racial bias, there were many places that would openly discriminate against him. Many of which would have been likely to turn him away if not for Wei being with him. Julius at times described this as saying he belonged to Fusang, but Fusang did not belong to him. Wei knew that it pained Julius to have to experience this. And that some of his attitude came from trying to accept that which he could not change.

    But they had been friends for decades. And in that time, they had seen changes themselves. They dormed together in college, and later on, when Wei found out about techno-gnosticism, they both became involved with it together. Seeing that things could change, he felt like he wanted to push even harder for his friend''s sake. And, of course, for his own as well. For they both had large problems, though their problems were not the same.

    But he was shaken back to attention as Julius rested his head on his palm and closed his eyes.

    ¡°Time ebbs and flows. But I suppose that no matter how much time passes, we will never see things the same."

    Wei smiled back weakly.

    ¡°No matter how much time passes, I still feel amazed that such a thing is possible. In my family, disagreements would have been met with emotional, if not physical, violence.

    ¡°But... thank you for everything. I want you to know I''ve learned a lot from you throughout my life. And I appreciate it. It''s good to learn about other ways to approach things. Hell, one day I might come to agree with you a bit more.¡±

    Wei smiled and closed his eyes.

    ¡°But... don''t hold your breath.¡±

    Julius smiled back.

    ¡°And I from you as well.¡±

    He made a more solemn expression again.

    ¡°But... I''ll tell you what. Let''s make a bet. About life. We can try our different ways. Life will carry us where it may. But at the end, let us meet up one last time. And we can talk about our lives. Our hopes. Our dreams. And which of them played out. And which of them did not. And on that day we can see which of us was right.

    "And then... we can embrace the void together.¡±

    Wei looked up at Julius'' outstretched hand and then smiled and grasped it.

    ¡°To the end, brother.¡±

    <hr>

    Wei and Julius silently disembarked from the Snowcat at the edge of the ravine. As they did, the crunch of snow beneath their boots seemed to echo in the vast expanse around them. They weren''t sure exactly what it is that they would find, but something about the journey made them feel quiet, like there was something solemn approaching that made it difficult to speak.

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

    After talking with their mission head, it was deemed that this mission should for now involve only the two of them. As they as of yet had no clue what was down there, it could not only be dangerous but also risk exposing them if too many people were to engage in conspicuous actions all at once.

    They looked down the ravine into the valley. It stretched out before them, like a rugged scar slicing through the pristine landscape. Something felt off about its presence, although there was nothing overtly visible that did so. You could sense that it was a new tear and that the ground did not look like this before recently. And that the idea of descending into it felt like descending into the den of something dangerous. They were armed, of course. Although they did not expect any overtly hostile lifeforms there, they had to be prepared for anything. For who knows what forms of dangers lurk at the ends of the earth?

    They connected a rope to the snowcat and used it to lower themselves down. Their breath hung in the air, mingling with the mist rising from the depths below. As Wei climbed down the side, he looked off into the distance, seeing once again the infinite expanse of white fading into blue beyond them. And seeing this, he thought of the nature of humans as only tiny pieces of this great tapestry.

    They got to the bottom safely and tugged on the rope to make sure it was secure. The snowcat was parked far enough back that it was unlikely to fall even if there was some kind of disturbance. In the worst-case scenario, if an earthquake were to drag it underground, they would still be able to use the rope to get back on the ledge, although this would make the journey back more perilous. They had other means to retreat if needs be, but they hoped not to have to use them.

    Once on the bottom, Julius took out his sensor for tracking the signature. He gestured silently to Wei, and they began to follow it. The ravine was rather long and rugged, and so it involved a lot of climbing up and down different jutting areas. Various openings on the ground level looked like they might lead to a cave, but they weren''t yet close enough, and looking in many of them only revealed solitary hives of frostbees. But they were not professional cave divers. They could dig a bit if needs be and had equipment for that purpose, but they had no intention of getting lost in an endless sea of underground ice tunnels. Nonetheless, they hoped that they would make the discovery today rather than have to come out another time.

    They reached the center of the reading. Though the surface looked plain, there was a solemn air to the location, and they could feel, even without the equipment, that there was something sacred about that place. Although they were already cold, it gave them the chills, adding to their already tense focus. Though truth be told, they did not feel fully cognizant at that moment, feeling like they had traversed beyond reality and into the quiet realm of dreams.

    Barely realizing as they did, they found an opening, determining that it would be the closest one that they were likely to arrive at. They rested for a moment and placed a marker to make it easier both to be found and to return to should they get lost in some way in the inside. They also took this moment to make a final check of their equipment to make sure that they were not missing anything that they would be likely to need once they continued on. They had done this before disembarking already, but with the daunting task of descending underground still ahead of them, one could not be too careful.

    After this preliminary check, and satisfied that they were prepared, they began to descend into the depths. Although it did not look like a carved cavern, they found it having a form like a path. One constructed as if by their own mind, which existed only for them to follow. And though they expected it to only be a short way down, it continued on ever deeper, as if building itself as they went, tempting them into its depths. As though they were delving further layers into the unconscious, leaving behind their stable entities as human beings as they became one with the flow.

    Although the cavern itself did have various paths on the inside, this did not perturb them greatly, on account of the marker that could help them return and which was tracing their path. The cave tunnels themselves did not seem like they were connected to to large a tunnel system, and the movement was not difficult, so they did not consider it likely that they could end up lost for too long. And they had resources with them to survive for some time, if needs be. This being a decent amount of food, heating, even shelter, although on account of being inside an ice cave, the shelter part was less relevant at the moment.

    But as they winded on through the cavern, they began to feel a sense of unease, as if there was someone watching them. Looking to the sides, they felt they could see shadows in the ice walls. Distant shapes, as if the wandering souls of a frozen Naraka beyond the Lethe River had come to silently spy. Souls that retained no identity or sense of self. Quietly watching them, curious only about what they are and about what it means to bear reality. It made them more self-conscious. Cognizant of what it meant to have a self in a way you never were before coming face to face with the emptiness from beyond identity.

    Gradually, they came to the bottom. At this point, the reading became stronger. They could sense that whatever it was pinpointing was close by. But as there was no longer any path ahead of them, they would have to dig for the final stretch. They took out their vibro-icepicks and began to expand on the tunnel. Although the tools were capable of digging quickly, their progress was slowed by the fact that they had to continually melt or move the ice out of the way. All while being presided over by an eerie air that they were ever approaching something not meant for human eyes to see.

    They felt themselves growing more tense as they dug, wondering if it was tied to moving closer to the source. The deafening silence that has presided over them felt like it was giving way to distant sounds that had no name. But as they continued on, gradually they felt more lucid. Shaking off the dreamlike stupor for a waking anxiety. And they could tell as they did that they were getting close to the end.

    Finally, a hole cracked open. They looked through it faintly to see if it only opened to another pocket. But they could see inside that what it opened to was actually the inside of a large structure. One that looked unnatural, surprising them as they began to see in. As of yet unable to see clearly, they quickly carved out the rest of the opening, making a space through which they could climb through.

    They stumbled into the cavern and were hit with shock at the sight that appeared before them. The cavern itself was massive, with enough room to fit a building inside. And it was indeed a building. It was no natural formation, but was the ruins of a large artificial structure, with rows of columns and unused energy lines resting silently along the floor, heading up to an epicenter at the far end.

    They were stunned as they entered, remaining silent as they began walking up the long central walkway. At the front of the structure was what looked like it was designed to be a giant church or temple grounds, with circles of esoteric designs along it, leading to the statue in the center. But as they approached closer, they could see that what had looked like a statue from far off was not a mere ornate object but was a giant machine, connected to the wall by long cords, vaguely humanoid in shape, though with a more angular design, and what looked like three heads.

    Wei gasped, his voice finally returning to him.

    ¡°Is this... is this an illusion? What exactly are we even looking at?"

    Julius, no less stunned, looked around and then reached down to touch the ground to make sure it was as tangible as it looked.

    ¡°No, I don''t think so. Not unless we are experiencing the same illusion, that is. It feels real enough.¡±

    Wei looked around at the alien structures before him.

    ¡°Then... what is this place? Is it ancient? There''s nothing like it on the records.¡±

    Julius held up the scanner and played with it for a moment. He made a face, like he was confused by what he was looking at for a moment due to the confusing reading.

    ¡°No, it doesn''t seem to be. Despite its run-down appearance, there is no evidence that this has been here for a particularly long time. Dating shows that it can''t be more than a few decades old at max.¡±

    ¡°But there''s no evidence that this area has ever been used for anything. There wasn''t even an outpost here. How could something like this have been made recently? And if so, why is it abandoned?

    He looked around.

    ¡°It''s too clean. It doesn''t look like it was attacked by anyone.¡±

    ¡°No idea.¡±

    Wei thought for a moment, but then remembered something else.

    ¡°Wait, we should be taking pictures of this to show them later.¡±

    ¡°Ah, right.¡±

    Julius turned around for Wei to rummage in his backpack for the camera. They had packed somewhat light, in case they would need to run or fight at some point. But also, advances in technology had made a lot of what they would need lighter than it would have used to be regardless. At any rate, they were here more for cataloging than anything else at the moment.

    Wei, in amazement, took several pictures of what they could see from the middle of the giant room. He and Julius both had a flair for the arts, so he wanted to take a lot of photos, not only for practical purposes of need but on account of his amazement at the design of the structure itself and its intricate but alien and upsized facilities. After this, he looked at the camera.

    ¡°Now that these pictures are on here, we have to be careful with the camera too. We can''t let the wrong people see this.¡±

    Julius thought about it and held up his hands.

    ¡°If they did, they would probably just think it was fabricated anyways. No one outside of us expects anything like this to be anywhere near here. Hell, even we didn''t more than five minutes ago.¡±

    ¡°Yes, but even so. It could get back to the wrong people.¡±

    ¡°I was joking. I know.¡±

    They continued on walking down the long central path, as if in religious procession. They looked to the side of them as they went, at all the futuristic temple-reminiscent designs and at their massive scale, taking more pictures along the way. Marveling at what this structure could be for, as if it were meant to contain the giant worshipers of a mechanized god. One oriented toward some unknown, but no doubt ominous purpose.

    But they sped up their walking, realizing that even if it looked abandoned it could still be dangerous and that they shouldn''t spend more time in it alone than they have to. At the end of the path, they entered into the sanctuary and onto the altar. The appearance of which came off uncanny inasmuch as that it was both familiar, but at the same time, wholly alien. It had some small implements laid out and a control panel connected to it. But they figured that it was better to leave this be for now.

    It was even more intimidating from up close. Its true size was fairly massive, large enough for people to enter inside. While they could see that there were no doubt other items of value in the larger temple itself, the machine looked to be the centerpiece, and they opted to treat it like the primary place to look for things that were useful for salvaging. Because whatever the purpose of the machine, the primary purpose of the room seemed to be to hold it.

    They walked around it a few times to see if there was an opening at the bottom or a place where it would make sense to make one, and, finding nothing, ultimately began to climb onto the machine itself. This was no easy matter on account of size. But they had several different grappling-type means with them and additional ropes to pull them up.

    Once they got up onto its shoulder, they looked over it, amazed, trying to look for a way to get inside to take a look at its mechanics. Not being able to, and tired from their journey, they took a short break and sat down. As they did this, Julius continued fiddling with the scanner.

    He frowned.

    ¡°Based on these readings, it doesn''t seem like this area was constructed by humans at all. It doesn''t seem to match any known design metrics. Not that I suppose this is a huge surprise at this point.¡±

    Wei thought about this for a moment, and then, as a realization hit him, he immediately began to look nervous.

    ¡°That means... it must have come from hyperspace, in the complex plane.

    ¡°Julius, do you realize what this means?"

    Julius looked up. Wei continued on.

    ¡°They are trying to bring over horrors beyond what humans are capable of standing up against. If we don''t ramp up the speed we are acting in, we will be overtaken before we have the chance to do anything. Everything we worked for will become useless.¡±

    Julius looked down.

    ¡°Perhaps. But there''s a lot we don''t know about this. And there is more than one possible place it could have came from. At any rate, it doesn''t seem like it successfully made it here. This whole area looks like it got damaged without ever being used. Perhaps it was even lost in the process, and they no longer have its location."

    Wei held up his arms, shaking.

    ¡°But can they make more things like this? For all we know, they are making more right now!¡±

    Julius looked around.

    ¡°Perhaps. But perhaps also this is an opportunity. We found it first, so we have the chance to take and use whatever is in here for ourselves before they manage to retrieve it.¡±

    Wei tried to calm down.

    ¡°Okay. You''re right. Sorry.

    ¡°...

    ¡°hmm.¡±

    They sat for a few more moments, still cognizant that this was not a safe place to dawdle in indefinitely. Wei looked along the body they had been climbing. He had to admit that he admired the mechanized form. It reminded him, for some reason, of Julius'' carving. And of the idea of the idealized human. But it was something different. Something more. It filled him with awe and fear. And he realized that he wanted to become that fear himself. To overcome the fear of his own that he had been always saddled with.

    It made him think about the natural limits of humanity. And about what it would mean to go beyond them. He looked at his hands. Covered now in gloves, of course, on account of the temperature. And thought about what it meant to use tools. How they blurred together with the body. The body itself was a tool in a sense. And like all tools, it could be refined. Improved upon.

    He thought about the sacrifices one might have to make to do this. But after talking to Julius earlier, he felt like it might be a large price to pay. He struggled to respect people who weren''t willing to embrace the struggle in order to be free. But perhaps there was a path too far. A long, winding route that, at a certain point, you couldn''t return from. And at the end of which there was nothing.

    They got up again from their rest to continue their exploration, beginning once again the alternating climb and descent, to try to see what place was the most thin to try to make an opening, or whether there was one already. Eventually, from moving along its body, they came to what looked like an access hatch. They worked at prying open the panel for entry, and then climbed down into the mechanics as they did. Darkness enveloped them as they descended yet another winding tunnel.

    As they got inside, they looked around at the internal mechanism, their gaze darting to and fro at the intricate machinery that sprawled before them like a metallic jungle. They could tell at a glance that much of this was wholly remote from human design. But at the same time, some of this was not wholly alien either, being reminiscent of things that were more close to home. For the temple of the jade archon, of which they were both so familiar, had much to its design that had come from hyperspace itself.

    Wei spoke in astonishment.

    ¡°Look at all this. There''s probably tons of stuff we could make use of in here. We might not even have the ability to bring all of it back with us.¡±

    Julius shined his light around at it.

    ¡°Its true. It would be unfortunate if we have to leave some of it. Maybe we should catalog what we can see and work out a tentative priority list. Make sure to take a lot of pictures.¡±

    ¡°We probably shouldn''t try detaching anything too big to bring with us right now, though, of course. Once we start bringing things back, the game may be up rather quickly.¡±

    ¡°Of course. Probably very little of it is small enough for us to get to the snowcat by ourselves anyways.¡±

    They continued on looking over stuff for a short while and taking notes, nervously listening as they did for any sign of danger. Wei was looking up at something that resembled the form of a spiky ball. But he wasn''t quite sure what he was looking at. But as he was peering up at it, he heard Julius loudly gasp behind him and then shout his name.

    ¡°Wei, come look at this!¡±

    Wei rushed over to look at what Julius was shining his light on. It stood out among the other internal aspects, looking more like a tablet than a mechanism or weapon.

    Julius spoke again, shaking now in his voice and stammering, taking a few tries to manage speaking.

    ¡°Do... do you know what this is?

    ¡°I think... This is a Key of Epinoia. A hypothetical construct believed to be able to link us to the Machine of Heaven.

    ¡°Do you know what this means?"

    Wei looked at him, waiting for him to go on, although he was already somewhat familiar with the idea.

    ¡°With this, they could cut down the creation time of a White Lotus by possibly literal centuries.

    ¡°Drop everything else. This is the only thing that matters.¡±

    Julius took out a tool and reached for it. Wei hesitated, looking at his movements, but then shouted, waving his arms.

    ¡°No, stop! Don''t touch it!¡±

    But it was already too late. As Julius made contact with it, a bright light started emitting from it, which encompassed both of the watchers. As it did, their senses suddenly began to reel with a sensation akin to vertigo, yet which was entirely unfamiliar. They could feel their perception suddenly raising and lifting. The space in front of them started to flatten to their perception, as if it was like a flat plane that they could now see beyond, floating outside of time and space.

    They drifted through a kaleidoscope of shifting colors while space shifted around them, forming intricate patterns that danced with a life of their own, extending far off into the distance like dancing stars. Wei looked at his hands, becoming more cognizant as he did so of their bounded shape, encompassed by the outline of infinite space. Obtaining a feeling when seeing this of having suddenly woken up from life, to an awareness that existed beyond the lower perception of the mind.

    As they drifted on, they slowly turned around to a direction which had no name. They could see now beyond the world entirely, though to what they were seeing they could not comprehend, having not the words to express it from within their limited experience. They saw what looked like a series of raising hyperspheres. At the zenith of which looked like a light encased in a crystalline structure of an unknown shape.

    They saw a red pool, as if covered in blood. From within this, there was continually dripping streams that went upwards, feeding the pool. Or what passed for upwards from this frame of reference. Though concepts like up had no longer had meaning from the dynamic in which they were now observing. At the top, the streams were emanating like tears of blood from what looked like a massive closed eye that their perception was brought close to.

    But they were suddenly struck with fear as the eye opened abruptly, shaking that space with its sudden movement and revealing a serpentine pupil, It narrowed and began to focus on their presence, looking through them as if stripping them naked, perceiving them in their limited, lesser forms, which could offer no protest or resistance.

    They felt paralyzed by this observation, not knowing what to do. But gradually, Wei shook himself back to lucidity and then moved to shake Julius, bringing him back to the same. As they did so, collapsing their perception back through layers as it stretched on, becoming smaller as it did until they eventually returned to regular space.

    Wei was shaking.

    ¡°What was that? What was that?¡±

    Julius was temporarily frozen, still staring off into space without speaking. But gradually he came to look around the room, as if remembering where he was.

    ¡°That was... That was Sakras."

    He suddenly looked at Wei with a now panicked expression.

    ¡°He knows where we are. We have to go. Now. Like, right now."

    Wei looked around fast.

    ¡°What about the weapons?¡±

    ¡°Leave them! We have no time. We only need the key.¡±

    Julius jabbed his blade down around the console, which had now become active, prying up the key and placing it in his pack. He and Wei quickly retreated backwards, climbing back up the rope, hands shaking, and then once outside the figure, down the outside onto the ground of the temple. They didn''t have time to retrieve it all, so much of their own grappling equipment was left behind by them. They began to run back towards the entryway, and as they got there, they looked back one last time at their prize, which they would now likely no longer be able to harvest any more of. Before turning around and having it disappear from their sight forever.

    Once in the ice tunnel, they continued on, making sure as they did so to follow their markers for getting back. Getting nervous as they did so that anything might be up top, and for all they know, there might be an ambush already. When they got back to the surface, Wei looked around quickly with binoculars to see whether the coast was clear. But at the moment, they couldn''t see anyone approaching the area from around the ledge of the ravine.

    He spoke up.

    ¡°Do you think we can we go back to the base? Or do we have to evacuate?¡±

    Julius, at this moment, was panicking and not sure what to do next.

    ¡°I... I don''t know.¡±

    Wei didn''t think they had time to think any further, and so they quickly headed back to the cord that was hanging from the snowcat. It was dangerous to go back that way since it provided a visible target, but it would take more time if they had to find an alternate route. And at the moment, time was not what they had. There was an eerie air hanging above them. The space around them was still deathly quiet, aside from the distant buzzing of frostbees and their own panicked rushing. And there was no movement outside of them ¨C the world was still frozen as if stuck in time. But they could sense now that something was coming.

    As they arrived back at the ledge and began to climb the rope, it was a nervous process on account of it not being an activity they were used to rushing through. Having to now try to balance their need for haste with a goal of safety. As they were on the rope, they heard a faint hissing sound behind them, but which was slowly becoming louder. Turning to see what was behind them, they gasped as they saw now dozens of long-range missiles in the air heading towards the space that they had just evacuated from.

    Wei spoke aloud.

    ¡°They aren''t trying to retrieve it! They are trying to get rid of it, along with us!

    ¡°Get back!¡±

    They both braced for impact, but they could not move while on the line, having to simply brace as a gigantic series of explosions shook the valley, shooting out wind in all directions that was both hot and frigid. As they did so, the edge of the ice wall began to shake and collapse, beginning an avalanche on the cliff they were on. They tried to continue the climb up, but as the ledge began to collapse, they began to lose their footing, desperately holding to the rope for dear life, hoping it would keep them from being pulled back down, and ending up under the cascading snow.

    Wei tried to grasp harder onto it, but as the snow pulled his legs, he lost hold of the rope and began to get pulled under. For a split moment, his mind became aware of the reality of what it would mean to fall off the rope and under the snow. But his emotions had not yet caught up to process it. It was like a moment of calm, thinking about the potential end that awaits you as if you are about to drift off to sleep.

    But before he had time to realize what he was thinking, he was snapped back to awareness as Julius grabbed him with his other hand, holding on desperately. Wei looked up at him, first with confusion and then with gratitude. But eventually, with a twinge of guilt, remembering that Julius had the key and that if Julius had fallen when trying to reach to save him, it would have been pulled back down to the ravine with them and potentially lost forever. Julius smiled at him, gesturing to his arms as the snow rushed past them.

    ¡°See what I mean about the idealized form?¡±

    Wei smirked back weakly. He grabbed back onto Julius'' arm and got a tighter grip. The snow was still sliding down beneath them, preventing their movement up the rope, but gradually it was becoming slower, and so they were now in less danger than they were previously. They looked down the ravine as the snow rushed past them, seeing how the layout of the ground was changing so wildly. Not only beneath them but all around the area, as the shockwaves from the missiles had destabilized it, pouring snow into the ravine as if it were a series of waterfalls pouring into a central basin.

    They held on until the snow slowed to a halt beneath them. They got up and dusted off their clothes quickly, so as to prevent the residual snow from slowing their movements. As they got back to their feet and climbed back to the snowcat, they looked back in the direction of the base, thinking of the dangerous situation in which it now likely found itself.

    Wei spoke aloud.

    ¡°We can''t go back there. They have to know about its existence by now. We have no choice but to use the escape subs.¡±

    Julius nodded. The snowcat, while not itself sunk underground once they got back to it, would be too slow to use and would have to be left behind. There was an emergency snowmobile within it for the purpose of faster travel, however, especially if it came down to escape. They dragged it out and climbed onto it, kicking it into motion.

    The snowmobile was light and designed for stealth, being painted white to make it harder to see among the snow surrounding it. But they would still be sitting ducks if they were found. They only had a short period to evacuate because they knew that temple guards would be bearing down on this location sooner or later. But even the guards couldn''t be everywhere at once. And this would buy them some time.

    <hr>

    Wei and Julius rode along the frozen tundra in moody silence. They had, against their better judgment, passed just close by enough to their base to get a look at it, but they could see that it had already been overrun and that there was no going back to it. Now their only choice was to get to the backup escape subs. They gritted their teeth and realized that the other ones who were with them were likely taken in. They hoped that the people at the base who were not involved with them would not be hurt unduly from this occupation, but of this they had no guarantee. And they felt guilty at the prospect that outsiders may have been pulled into harm''s way by their actions.

    They carried on towards the escape subs. The small room containing them was designed in secret, being made from prefab means and designed to be put up quickly. It was rather minimalistic, having just enough room to protect and launch them. The escape subs themselves in question were rather small, being also designed for stealth. They were designed to be automated and travel quickly. Each one had room for two people, but there was little room for air or food, and so the pods would be used to induce you into hypersleep as they traveled, waking you up for manual control only if an emergency arose.

    This was a dangerous process, as hypersleep was no laughing matter, especially when presided over with so minimalistic a setup. And it was none too inviting to go into it, knowing that if your sub was destroyed by an attacker, you would pass from the world without ever seeing it coming.

    But there was no choice now. If the subs were gone, they had no other way to survive for any meaningful length of time in Hyperborea. And the opportunity to learn from the key that they had with them would be lost forever. It was their one chance. And they had to head towards it, knowing that the chance might be gone already. It was like a coin flip that had already landed, and they were bound to move blindly towards it to see only at the end which face was up.

    They finally saw the bunker in the distance and began to slow down their approach as they got closer. At a glance, it did not look like anyone was there. This didn''t prove that no one was, of course. But they had little reason to be cautious at this point. If the temple guards were already inside, the subs were likely destroyed, and they had little chance to survive regardless. So it was better to rush along and hope for the best.

    As they arrived at the entrance, they all but dove off the side of the snowmobile without stopping to turn it off, allowing it to continue on into the void. They rushed into the bunker and down its stairs, looking quickly around the corners to see if anyone was there. But there didn''t seem to be anyone in the hallway. As they got to the main sub room, it also was empty. But they still needed to rush. Because the faster they launched, the less likely that their sub would be able to be intercepted. Even after launching, there was no guarantee that they wouldn''t be found and caught later on. But the further ahead they were, the less likely this was to happen. Wei started prepping the subs in the main room, while Julius turned on the power from the hallway.

    Wei heard a loud noise behind him and turned around to speak, but was shocked to see that in the hallway, and with no forewarning, there were already several temple guards standing inside, aiming their guns at Julius. He froze in a panic at this sight, not knowing what to do. He had no available weapons in arm''s reach that would be a serious threat to them. And there was little way that he could contend with several armed temple guards in his worn-out state regardless. Especially ones who already had their guns trained on Julius, who was now defenseless and at their mercy.

    Julius looked over slowly at him. And they locked eyes for a moment that seemed to stretch on endlessly. And in that moment, Wei realized that Julius was conveying that he knew was going to die. Wei was about to protest. But before he could, Julius tossed him the key and pointed at the sub. As he did so, several bullet holes shot through him. And in that one moment, their friendship, which had endured through several decades, was lost forever.

    Wei screamed in agony. But as he did so, the temple guards turned towards him. Barely being able to process what had happened so suddenly, but still having the presence of mind to know he needed to escape, he slammed the door shut quickly between them, tilting a cabinet in front of it and grabbing the key. The guards were at it in a moment, and two vibro-sabers were stuck directly through it. The door would only buy him a few seconds.

    He turned around to jump into the mini-sub and activate the quick launch. Sealing himself in to activate it, he could no longer see what was happening by the room''s door from inside the sub. All the while knowing that within moments there would be a blade sticking through his sub, depressurizing it beyond use, if not killing him outright.

    He held his breath. He could hear footsteps now in the room behind him. And through the top viewport, he could finally see their masked visages rush in and raise their arms, blade in hand. But before they could bring the blades down on him, the sub shot out. And their image disappeared, leaving behind it only the empty blue of the ocean.

    It took him a moment for the tension to subside and for him to realize that, at least for the moment, the danger was gone. But alone now, and with the adrenaline subsiding, the shock of what he had seen suddenly hit him, and he let out all his tears, writhing in agony and pounding the side of the sub at having been forced to see his best friend die. He knew that what they were doing was dangerous. But he had never quite internalized what it would mean to see it happen in front of him. Imagining that if they were ever to die in the great work, it would probably at least be together.

    With shaking hands, he picked up a sheet of paper from the scattered stack that spilled out of his bag. He dug into his own arm until it was bleeding, and then, with bloodstained fingers and shaking hands, he slowly wrote on the paper, J U L I U S, with his own blood. He collapsed to the ground of the pod and then rolled himself up in a fetal position, crying and clutching his knees.

    ¡°I see now. You have to be willing to leave behind everything if you want to fight. Anything and anyone can be taken from you. You have to make sacrifices if you are going to break free. This is it, then. There''s no other way.

    ¡°There''s no other way.

    ¡°There''s no other way.

    ¡°There''s no other way.¡±

 8: The Carnival of Earthly Delights

    Young Lan Mei sat alone in her room, looking at the wall. It was a normal day in the Lan household. But that was the problem, wasn''t it? She did this often when she was ruminating or when there was nothing else to do. And she had a lot to ruminate on now. And, of course, little else to do. She had initially been excited to enter middle school. But having now been in it for awhile, she was not excited about it any longer. She wasn''t excited about anything any longer.

    Her family had long since worn her out and called her undutiful for a litany of reasons that she couldn''t ever keep up with or follow. Some of these involved claiming she was not taking school seriously enough or that she didn''t keep proper face. The former one especially confused her, since she had always gotten decent grades. But it wasn''t enough, was it? Of course not. Nothing was ever enough. She wondered what was wrong with her that she was treated this way. And what there was to look forward to if she could never change. This is a time when one might go to friends for comfort. But she could not - she didn''t have any friends.

    She dealt with complaints that she might end up dropping out of school if she did not take it more seriously. She thought that entering middle school would show that she was doing well and get them to accept her. But this did not work. This was her one hope that she could prove herself and that this would result in them accepting her and going back to treating her the way they had used to when she was small. But this transitional period came and went, and that hope was now little more than a faint memory. And now, seeing how it meant nothing, she had nothing to look forward to anymore.

    She had a place she went to in times like these, when she needed to be alone. Not a real place. A place inside of her mind that she could use to shut out all outside input. This place was called The Carnival of Earthly Delights. She would often go there, either when she was stressed or being yelled at. Dissociating from and leaving her body behind like an empty husk to take the abuse her mind could not handle. And her spirit would leave, free to roam, untethered and unburdened.

    Sometimes, when extra stressed, she abstracted entirely from form. Coming to view the park as if from nowhere in particular. Like a dream of yours you find yourself watching from on high, not even entering into as a character on the stage. She would drift into this passive nirvana as a way to be free from the burdens of causality and form, resting and observing but not having to be seen or interacted with. In this sense, you could try to bring yourself above suffering. If you have no self, no one can harm you.

    But across her visits, even the carnival had lost its lustre over time. In the beginning, it had been a beautiful place. Filled with spectacles of a surreal shape and scope. There were attractions, rides, and shrines to cherished memories, and it was filled with excited patrons. A looping space you could get lost in for hours without ever getting bored. It had a beautiful cloudy sky you could sit under and look up at to call rain from without ever getting wet. Unless you wanted to get wet, of course.

    Over time, cracks had appeared in this image. The image of the beautiful park had fallen off. And beneath it there lied an industrial ruin, under harsh, unforgiving skies of crimson red. Beneath the images of the patrons were revealed horrors without a name. Incomprehensible mishmashes of uncomfortably recognizable shapes that, although still visibly living, acted in a way that had no meaning and which could not be reasoned with. And the piercing rain had become red now, dripping in a torrent of endless blood from the heavens.

    But still, she visited it. Whether it was for comfort or self-harm at this point, she could not say. For she had long since passed the point where she could distinguish one from the other. They blurred together like an endless tapestry you were forced into the folds of. Doomed to navigate it without end. With no map and on streets that have no name.

    On entering the park today, she noticed immediately what looked like a dead body by the entrance. Its face looked familiar yet hard to place, like it was the body of a relative you had only faint memories of meeting. She knew why it was there. She had gone to a funeral of a relative recently. But she could not bring herself to feel anything for them. She had never been taught empathy. And from how she was treated, she could not intuitively register it as a thing that could be processed by her. She wondered what was wrong with her as she stepped over it to go inside. Feeling broken at having to face the knowledge of what she could not feel.

    Although the park looked now like a ruin, the rides would often still be operating. Moving as if under their own power, and often with no operator. You could still climb onto a rollercoaster and feel the rush of the wind in your hair as it carried you. Despite appearances, it was still rather cool and often windy in the park. And so she would come here, rolling up her sleeves freely without fear, in a way she was too self-conscious to do in the real world. For her arms bore things that were not for others to see.

    She walked up to the cotton candy machine and placed down a coin on the counter. Although there was no visible attendant, a hand took the coin, and it quickly vanished into the ether. She watched the machine as it spun cotton candy onto a stick and took it out. She took a bite. This, at least, still tasted normal. Which was fortunate. She didn''t want to eat anything gross today.

    She sat on a bench to eat in front of the fountain. The blood falling from the sky had stained the water red. But it still worked, so you could still watch it. As its mechanism was gone now, there was a heart-shaped appendage under the water, pumping it up through the pipes and into the air, like the blood splatter of something that would soon be running low on life.

    As she was sitting, sampling her snack, some form of blue bird-shaped entity ambled up to her and looked at her quizzically. Although she called it a bird, its shape had various aspects that did not so closely resemble one. But it looked more like a bird than it did like anything else, so that was as good a label as any. She could see that it meant her no harm, so she motioned up on the seat next to her for it to sit.

    She was feeling lonely and happy for the company. So she began to pull off pieces of her cotton candy to feed to it. Something it looked happy to receive. And they sat in quiet solitude together, looking at the fountain for awhile. Though as for what ¡°a while¡± means, it could not be truly said, as time could not be measured here. She could stay here for minutes or hours and find that in the real world it had been hours or minutes. Sometimes, when she came back to in normal space, she could not place where she was or remember how she had gotten there. She knew this was dangerous, but she did not feel there was much she could do about it.

    She finished the cotton candy, and after throwing away the stick, she got up once more to wander around the park. The park was full of tainted memories. Many parts of it had been composed of things she had experienced in real life or dreams she had had at one point. In one corner, there was a large grand piano fashioned into some form of what looked like an iron maiden, with large knives sticking out of the lid. And next to it was a large violin-shaped structure, with its bow and strings covered in blood, like it was used for some cruel purpose.

    The larger structure of the park itself was built out of a special memory. It resembled a park she had been to once, long ago. And which was a memory she had tried long to cherish. Her parents had always been hesitant with spending money, thinking that even toys and hobbies (to say nothing of friends) were for the most part a distraction from school. This was a large part of why she often had little to do. This was not, however, because they were short on money. They simply didn''t think it was worth it to spend on items they considered trivial. Vacations were one of the few times they were willing to spend more freely. And so had been when she was younger a major source of interest to look forward to. She vaguely understood that it had something to do with keeping up appearances, but as she was still young, she didn''t quite understand what this meant.

    This vacation in particular that the park was derived from had been the last time she had felt like her parents had truly cared about her. Her family was there. Everyone was enjoying themselves, and no one was being snappy or mean. Even then, she had experienced a lot of solitude and negativity. But in the past, she had thought it was a string of disconnected one-off experiences. That it was something she could get through and which would soon dissipate. It was not something she understood as a recurring pattern. But as she realized its nature as such, her mood worsened.

    But past that day, everything fell apart. She experienced more cruelty, and on account of youth, had no context for understanding why. She clung to this memory like a kind of prayer. Subconsciously hoping that if she returned to it enough, she could perhaps return to those times for real. But she could not. The memory began to erode. And with it, all of those thoughts that composed her rosary of peace. And she was left with only pain and darkness.

    But she clung to it still. For a tarnished memory is better than no memory. She had a tenuous grasp on her own sense of self. Her family responded to her as if they saw her not and were merely guessing as to her inner properties. It made her feel hollow, empty inside, uncertain of her own place in the world. As if she was a phantom looking into the life of another, pretending that it was her who lived there when she had no life for herself. Like she had a hole through her chest she was trying to fill, but which remained empty, and that those who tried to observe her saw only the empty room on the other side.

    She stopped from her walking to look at a table with various drawing implements on it. When she had been a little younger, she had drawn often. Most people did as children. She felt like she was fairly good at it for her age. Not that someone so young was the best judge of their own skills. She remembered telling her family she wanted to be an artist and being proud of what she had done. She expected them to be happy on account of their constant demands for being exceptional in life. But they had instead gotten angry. They said that being good at art meant she was wasting too much time on it. That if she had time for art, she had time to study more. She did not understand. But at that moment, she stopped drawing entirely. She put away her art implements in the real world. She never wanted to see them again. She didn''t like that they tormented her now with their presence.

    She climbed up the winding steps to the Ferris wheel because she wanted to feel high up and to get a view of the wider park. But she turned around and saw that the blue bird was still following her. She motioned for it to come closer and picked it up to hold it. Doing so of which gave her great comfort. She put another coin down at its entrance. An arm that came from nowhere took it and let her pass.

    She sat down on the ride''s seat and sat the bird down next to her. Although she was glad for the company, she also wanted some quiet. And so she was glad that the bird remained so for the duration. The ride carried them up. And as it did, she began to see more of the park. There were various unspeakable entities roaming it. Many of them were dangerous if you got too close to them. Although the danger was not always physical. Many of them contained dark memories. Ones that were difficult to face. And if you looked upon them too closely, you could find yourself being forced to relive them.

    As the Ferris wheel kept ascending, though, she found it taking her through the clouds. This came as a surprise to her, for it had never reached this high before now. And her sight of the park was suddenly obscured as the seat ascended. She hoped that this would not provide a problem for the ride and that she was not about to come crashing down to the ground. For she could see now that her seat was no longer attached to the wheel. She held on to the blue bird for comfort.

    But as she was pulled up above the clouds, she gasped, surprised for the first time at what she was seeing. For while the ground beneath her was still tarnished in crimson red, above her, the sky shone clear and untainted. In her vision, there was an untarnished sunset, unbothered by the corrupted ground. And above it, as if in a line, was the cold moon, with the emblazoned rabbit staring down from it.

    She noticed something specific, though, from across the clouds. On the distant horizon was a single mountain spire. It was the only thing from the ground sticking up that high. She wondered what it was, for she had not seen it before. In part due to having never been before now above the clouds. She wondered whether it was new and what its presence signified.

    But she enjoyed the moment. And stared at it in peace while she was able, sharing this time with the blue bird, who looked like it was enjoying it as well. But she could not truly say what peace was or how to cling to it. And like the turning of the wheel of life, that would not let you remain in one place, it would always come and go.

    For such things are not meant to last. As the earth continued turning, the sun was carried down beneath the horizon. And with it, she, too, was carried back down. Deprived of the heavenly vision like a fallen angel cast down to earth. And now, in the harsh cold of night. She felt herself being pulled back down through the clouds. But she could not see how the seat was moving on account of the clouds blocking her vision. But it arrived at the bottom of the wheel safely enough. Sitting there as if it had never left it, just going around in a predictable manner.

    Mei climbed out of the seat and looked back around the park. She wasn''t ready to leave it yet, but it seemed more worrying to be there at night time, which now was quickly approaching. For who could say what resided in the unseen depths? Though truth be told, night and day had little meaning here. They could come and go at will. Or it could be both. Or neither.

    She looked around, feeling lonely. The park used to have more people in it. But now they were all gone. Replaced with nothing but empty, chaotic phantoms and amorphous chimeric shapes. Some of the latter could speak. But it would generally not be super intelligible. Not that she was the best gauge of intelligible speech. Talking to her family never quite felt like a true dialogue on account of them never quite being willing to accept the existence of a response that wasn''t up to their standards. Perhaps this had a hand in the shaping of the park itself.

    But she suddenly noticed a figure sitting on a bench. It didn''t look monstrous like the others in the area. From behind, it looked more like a human. A woman with red hair. Mei wondered whether the woman''s hair was naturally red or was it stained that way from the blood falling from the sky. Not that such a distinction had any meaning in this place.

    The blue bird walked up and climbed onto the bench and into the lap of the woman, joining a second bird which was in her lap already. Mei walked around to the front and glanced at the woman, who was looking downward at the birds, seemingly not yet having noticed her. She wanted to introduce herself, but she was not good with strangers, on account of having little experience getting to interact with them and being pushed into a realm of being seen more than heard. She stood there shyly, with her hands behind her back, not sure what to do next.

    The woman spoke without looking up.

    ¡°Ages come and go. But across every life, in every age, the final question of life never changes.¡±

    The woman looked up at her.

    ¡°But you have a more specific question, do you not?¡±

    Mei wasn''t confused by the lack of introductions. You didn''t tend to expect them here, especially not anymore. And although she was confused by the woman''s presence, something about her prevented you from scrutinizing it too closely. So she focused on what seemed like the more pressing concern.

    ¡°There is a single mountain sticking out of the ground that goes up over the clouds. What can you tell me about it?¡±

    The woman looked off into the distance, at the spire.

    ¡°That mountain is a special place. It is the place where dreams and reality meet. It is there that you will be forced to face the question you have been asking yourself.¡±

    Mei looked nervous.

    ¡°Are you saying that I must go there?¡±

    The woman looked down.

    ¡°No. I am saying that you have already gone there. Now you must come to face why it is that you have gone there.¡±

    Mei made an annoyed expression. She was used to being talked to in an unintelligible way here, but this was even more unintelligible than usual. And she was too lucid to feel like it made sense to put up with it. She looked at the spire, which, now that she noticed it, she could see was also visible from ground level.

    She supposed she would have to go see why it jutted into her headspace and to see what was going on with it. For after all, this was her sacred territory, which no one may enter. But the thought of doing so also filled her with fear. For before now, she had never ventured outside of the park. And she was not raised to be one who ventured outwards.

    Mei turned back around to face her.

    ¡°But how am I supposed to get there? I don''t know the way.¡±

    The woman responded.

    ¡°No one knows the way. And no one can tell you the way for you. There are as many ways as there are people that live them. But there is only one way that is for you.¡±

    Mei looked down, not really sure what she was hearing. The woman looked to her side and then spoke again.

    ¡°Ah, but one more thing.¡±

    Mei turned back around. The woman picked up a wrapped package and slowly unwrapped it in front of her. When it was unwrapped, she handed her a strapped sheath with a sword inside of it.

    ¡°It is dangerous for you to go alone. Take this.¡±

    Mei took the sheath and drew the sword from it. She looked it over, and it had the appearance of a general old-time sword rather than a modern blade. She had trained with swords a bit in the past, it being one of the few things deemed an acceptable activity by her parents. And so she had some knowledge of how to use one. But she was still a novice and concerned about the idea of having to use one. She put the sheath on her back, tying it around her.

    She turned around to speak once more to the woman. But she saw now that the bench was once again empty. Looking around, she could see no one in the area, with the blue birds being gone as well. She waited for a moment, but saw no further indication that she would meet anyone here.

    Looking down and feeling suddenly lonely, she saw that there was no further reason to remain here. So she set out on the journey, heading first to the forest that bordered on the park.

    <hr>

    Mei''s breath came in ragged gasps as she darted between the scattered trees. She was too afraid to look back at the monstrous spiders that pursued her, skittering loudly after her with their giant pairs of legs. She was told there would be danger, but she had really hoped that the dangers would be on the smaller side. A few of them had been before now. This was not the first thing she had fought out here, in the dark forest. But the difficulties began piling up. And there was not always an easy out for them.

    She tried to play it defensive at first. As the spiders looked too large to handle easily, her initial plan was to back off, slashing at the first one only as it approached, hoping this would be enough to scare it off. But this plan unfortunately did not work the way she hoped. And in the process of doing this, more spiders came out to attack. And as one became two and two became three, she felt she had little option but to turn and run away at full force before they all piled down on her. Something that was not easy to keep up indefinitely, on account of her size.

    As her breaths came heavy with exertion, she cursed her luck for stumbling her into this situation. Although the turns she made could give her a little leeway, as the spiders were too large to easily maneuver around corners, the spiders ultimately grew closer, their hissing and clicking growing louder in her ears. She tried to think of potential outs, but with each passing moment, the odds of escape seemed to diminish. She knew she couldn''t outrun them forever. With a sinking feeling, she realized that her only option might be to turn around and face them, regardless of the poor odds it suggested to try to do so.

    She saw a fallen tree laying over a ravine as a potential crossing, and an idea started formulating in her head. She climbed up onto it and quickly balanced her way across. The spiders shortly followed her, beginning to climb over it themselves. Though their many legs allowed them to hold onto it freely, their size made passing across it difficult, slowing down their forward movement. They could have gone around if they were intelligent animals to try to surround her, but they did not seem to be. Opting instead for the quickest solution towards what seemed like helpless prey.

    But their choice to do this had bottlenecked them. And as a result of this, only one could cross at a time. She turned around to face them, hoping now that the ability to deal with them one at a time would result in less of a guaranteed loss than all three at once. But even so, they were no small opponents. Even when dealing with only one, earlier on she had been unable to make much headway in denting its exoskeleton. And she had wanted to run instead of having to face it. But she could run no longer. This was her only chance. And she had to face it, come what may.

    Her slashes before had not pierced very deeply into their skin. But she could tell now that it was because she was not using her full strength. And that if she wanted to survive, she would have to come from an angle where she could give it everything. She waited at the edge of the log for them to come by. Time seemed to slow as she saw them getting closer. The one in front raised itself onto its back legs to prepare to bite. And as it did, Mei arched back. And tapping into an endless wellspring of rage, leaped forward, piercing its underside and driving the sword all the way through.

    She stood there for a moment with the blade sticking through its back. She had hoped that doing this would kill it, but she quickly realized that it was in fact still alive and began thrashing around. Although it was pierced, she was still not able to pull the blade out through the side. And as an unfortunate result of this, its mouth was now close to being able to bite her, and with her unable to back off easily without leaving her weapon. She had hoped to be able to cut it in half, but its exoskeleton was too strong for this.

    Trying to hold it back with her other arm, she pulled the sword back at an angle, slashing it back in to increase the wound. This was no easy task, on account of its flailing. But she did so more over time. And eventually, in her doing so, the spider''s grip began to weaken, and it finally collapsed and slid off her sword, falling off of the side of the log and into the depths below.

    She looked down after it, surprised at what she had just made happen and that she had survived all the way through. But she quickly remembered that there were two more she would still have to deal with. She looked back at them, pointing the blade over in their direction. Although now weaker on account of her first struggle ¨C something she hoped they would not notice. But the other spiders saw it and hesitated, looking across at her holding up the sword at them. And ultimately, they quickly turned and skittered off.

    As they did, she let out the breath she had been holding. She had been so scared, and had been shaking all the way through. But she had hoped that her demeanor would not reveal it, out of fear it would be perceived as a weakness by her opponents. She was an expert at hiding her feelings, after all.

    She felt physically weak after this exertion. Now, with adrenaline subsiding, she felt more aches from the encounter. But checking herself over, they had not managed to make any tangible physical injuries on her. She was beginning to grow very tired, but she felt that the current area was unsafe and that she should continue on a bit further in the hopes that she would get far enough that the spiders would not return while she was sleeping. But how could she tell if any area was safe? This was not a world designed for safety, after all.

    Alone now in the dark forest, she looked around, wondering which direction she should go in. But it was growing dark. She would need to stop soon for the night so as not to be wandering in pitch black. Looking around, she saw the shadows dance in the fading light, casting eerie shapes that seemed to whisper malevolent words in her direction.

    As she continued on through the grove, she saw what looked like a spectral white light ahead of her. As it was now getting deeper into night and the dark forest itself had little in the way of colors besides black and grey, it stood out, being the only light source ahead of her ¨C even the moon being too far blocked out to provide much use any longer. So she moved towards it to see whether it wouldn''t be a good place to stay for the night.

    She walked towards the light, feeling its ominous glow pervade her. Eventually, she came to see where the light was emanating from. It was a large structure, the size of a wall, standing freely in the forest. As she came up to it, she could see that it was a large single letter Q, glowing faintly. She looked around it, but she could see no implied meaning or explanation for its presence. And its incomprehensible nature left her with a sense of unease. Although its light could be useful to show if further creatures followed her, she did not want to remain in front of it, being uncertain of its meaning. And so continued on until it was out of sight.

    She came eventually to a small clearing, just open enough for a beam of moonlight to shine down in the center. So she opted to rest now for the night. She took out a flat object from her pocket and shook it out until it filled out into the shape of a long sofa. She laid this out like a bed along the forest floor, but as she had no other implements to set up, she laid down on this and placed her sword next to her, within arm''s reach.

    She laid there staring upwards at the stars for a long while, thinking about how this was the first time she had ever gone camping outside her yard, either in reality or in her mind. For it was difficult to mentally construct the idea of experiences you had no source for. She wondered how common camping was in general. And what it would have been like to have a family or friends who would have gone on a trip like that with her. But as she began to feel lonely, she curled herself up into a fetal position to rest. And descended in stages into the void.

    <hr>

    She got up the next morning feeling little more rested. Or, well, it was what passed for a morning, at any rate. But as there was no time here, and so night and day had no meaning. She packed away the sofa, putting it back in her pocket. And picked up her sword sheath to continue on.

    She thought about which way to go. But as her vision was surrounded by trees, it was no easy matter to get her bearing. She tried to use which way she had come from as a metric to continue on, hoping that if she at least kept up in a straight line, she was sure to find somewhere eventually. At any rate, she did not want to go back towards the Q. Assuming it was even still there. That provided another issue. She had no way of knowing whether the landscape even stayed the same from moment to moment. And as an extent of this, it could be difficult to gauge any serious progress along it.

    But she had to go somewhere. And using the angle she had pointed the sofa the previous night as a reference, she tried to continue on, hoping she was going the same way. As she trodded along quietly, she stole a moment to glance around, this being the first time she had seen the forest in daylight. The trees loomed tall and gnarled, their twisted branches reaching out like claws, reaching at the dim sky. The air was thick with an ominous silence, broken only by the rustle of leaves and the distant calls of creatures that had no name.

    But despite all of this, the space did not feel very active. Despite the potential for occasional horrors that might meet her, she felt more that the forest was a quiet place. As if every frame of motion was a snapshot of immobile time, like a tortoise who can never begin its journey as it has always a smaller journey to do ahead of it.

    This morning she did not have to fight against any horrors however. And so she trekked through the remainder of the forest without much incident. She wondered whether this was a coincidence or whether they were merely more active at night. At the park, they were active around the clock, but there was no guarantee that the forest operated on the same rules. Or any rules at all, really. She wasn''t used to life operating on consistent rules. In her real life, the rules could change on a whim or be haphazardly applied differently based on who they were being applied to. So she had come to expect the unexpected. There was no reason that here wouldn''t operate the same way.

    However, though there was nothing there to overtly antagonize her at the moment, she did notice something out of the corner of her eye. It was some small black shadows with glowing eyes that were staring at her from far off. They did not approach her. And they did nothing but observe at a distance. For a moment, she stopped to stare back. But this did nothing, and at any rate, if they were leaving her be, she did not want to make more problems for herself by approaching needlessly. So she went on, occasionally glancing at them. And though they seemed to follow her for some time, she never saw them from any closer. And as she got to the edge of the forest, they eventually vanished without her ever seeing them up close.

    Seeing that the trees were now getting more sparse and that she must be soon getting to the edge of the forest, she continued on. And in time, she came out to another clearing. So glad was she to finally be out in the open that she momentarily looked all around, not noticing the striking image before her. But eventually coming to, she saw that the only figure in front of her was a large teacup with a smug grin. It seemed to be alive, so she walked up to it to see if she could ask it for directions.

    ¡°Hello, Mister Tea. I''m afraid I am a bit lost. Could you tell me what way I should go from here?¡±

    The tea made a face, as if it was thinking.

    ¡°Well, that depends a good deal on where you are trying to end up.¡±

    She thought to look around her for the spire, but could not see it from within the forest. And as it was not the only mountain range in the area, she was not entirely sure how to describe it either, to one who may not have seen it themselves. She thought about this for a moment, and then, getting discouraged, looked down sadly.

    ¡°I suppose I don''t really know exactly where it is I am trying to end up.¡±

    The tea reached for its own cup and lifted itself up off its plate to take a drink of itself.

    "Well, then, it should not matter much which way you go.¡±

    She thought about this too for a moment before responding.

    ¡°I can''t stay where I am, though. I need to keep moving. But it wouldn''t do so well to go in the wrong direction.¡±

    The tea held up its hands.

    ¡°But if you don''t know where you are trying to go, then what makes any direction the wrong direction?¡±

    She considered this for a moment.

    ¡°Even if you don''t know where you are trying to go, I suppose you can know where you are trying to get away from.¡±

    The tea made a face, like it was thinking.

    "Well, then, where are you trying to get away from?¡±

    She was suddenly shocked by this question, since she had initially meant it less rhetorically. But she realized that she had conveyed what she was feeling but unable to describe. And the feeling cut through her like a knife. It pulled forth deep emotions, bringing them up to the surface. And as it did, she started sobbing suddenly and rubbing her eyes, sniffling for a time before managing to respond.

    ¡°I''m lost, Mister Tea. I feel like I''ve been lost for a long time.

    Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

    ¡°It''s not just here. I feel lost everywhere. I don''t feel like I belong with my family. They don''t love me. They don''t care about me. They don''t have time for me.

    ¡°Everything I do, I do for them. But they never care. Why do I do it? Why should I do it? Tell me, why do I need to do any of it? Why do I need to do anything?¡±

    The tea looked nervous, like it was not prepared for this line of inquiry.

    ¡°This is a lot to spill out to a tea in the woods.¡±

    She was still crying, but suddenly shocked with herself at how much she said, she made a sad grin slightly, and wiped her eyes.

    ¡°I''m sorry. I just... I come here to talk. I don''t have anyone else I can talk to.¡±

    The tea put its arms down and shook its head. Or rather, cup. Which seemed to be functioning as its head. It didn''t seem like it was very receptive to this line of conversation, and Mei began to be self-conscious that she had spilled so much so easily.

    ¡°I''m sorry. Maybe we should start over.

    ¡°I am trying to get to the tall mountain spire. A unique one. It sticks out above the clouds, far above all the others. If you know which one I mean, I would be happy if you could tell me how to get there.¡±

    The tea looked suddenly extremely nervous.

    ¡°That is Mount Meru! You cannot go there! There is nothing there!¡±

    Mei looked quizzical.

    ¡°What do you mean there is nothing?¡±

    The tea got up and took a few steps back.

    ¡°No, no! There is nothing!¡±

    He took off running, and before Mei could protest, he was already long gone. She felt a little dejected at having been left once again alone. But as there was now nothing more in this clearing to hold her attention, she took one last glance around and continued on.

    She journeyed on past the clearing and, over time, out of the remainder of the forest. Now at the edge, she could see an opening and past it, a large and deceptively serene-looking red river. Tall reeds swayed lazily along its banks, their slender forms casting rippling reflections onto the water''s surface. Though there was a tranquility to the scene, there lingered a sense of reverence, as if the river held within its depths ancient stories and forgotten whispers, waiting to be discovered by those who dared to listen.

    In front of the river, on a dock, there was a large statue sticking out of the ground. The statue looked old, like it had been worn down over time. The inscription on its base could not be read, and the face was no longer discernible. Something about it made Mei sad. Like someone''s attempts to say that someone should be remembered had come to nothing. And it all crumbles down to dust.

    Looking it over, she felt that the river was too wide and active to be swam through. But on the river''s edge was a ferry. So this was a task she would not have to undertake. Coming closer, she could see that the ferryman was already on the boat. He stood there motionless and nondescript, as if he had been waiting there endlessly. As if his sole purpose for being was to bring her and her alone across the river.

    She looked up at the mountain looming over her. She was not sure whether it was any closer now than it had been previously. But she was tired, and would be glad to rest her legs. There is a kind of extra-tired feeling. The kind where you are so tired you can feel it even in your dreams. That was what she was feeling now.

    She stepped onto the ferry and gave the ferryman a coin. She wondered why it was that everything in this world was so money-obsessed. But it was no surprise. After all, money was a large chunk of what her family talked about. Not even in the sense of money being necessary for practical concerns. More like the idea of using money as a scorekeeper. And you proved your high score by amassing more of it.

    The ferryman began paddling, and she sat down on the ferry. She would have tried to speak to him, but he did not seem to be very receptive to it. And so she gave up on that plan rather quickly. She leaned against a post to watch the river pass by, along with the land on the opposite shore. Now that she had more time to rest, she felt like she had forgotten something important. But hence is the problem with forgetting. You can''t remember what you forgot because you forgot what it was that you forgot. She wondered what was at the mountain. And whether she would remember it when she got there.

    She looked listlessly out at the river. While the rain had stained it red and the color unsettled her, it felt like there was something calm about it too. For rivers of blood are the basis of life itself. And to sail along one was like a journey through your own body ¨C your own life. And this world was the world of her life, after all.

    The rhythmic splashing of the paddle against the blood-stained waters lulled her into a contemplative trance. In the quiet solitude of the river, she found a strange solace, a brief respite from the chaos that had engulfed her. The mountain''s enigmatic presence beckoned her forward into the unknown. And as the ferry glided along the river''s scarlet currents, Mei couldn''t help but wonder what secrets lay hidden within the shadowed valleys and towering peaks that awaited her arrival.

    She felt uneasy thinking about what lie ahead at the end of this journey. And about what she had been told to expect there. But she had come too far to turn back now. She had to see it through to the end. Too many obstacles had been overcome to falter in the face of the unknown. With each passing moment, the mountain grew larger ¨C not in distance but in shape - its silhouette etched against the cloudy sky like a silent sentinel.

    In the distance on the other side, she could see what looked like a large city. It made her wonder what types of things might live there. But the city was not where they were headed. And so, as she watched, its visage came and went. This made her feel a bit sad, like there was a separate world out there that she was not part of. She lived in the world, but it was not her world. She was raised to be alone.

    As if in response to her feelings, suddenly she heard wistful singing, like the sound of a choir singing an ancient and beautiful language. She stood up to look over the edge to see a row of flowers along the shoreline, singing in a high tenor. The sound of them was a comforting reprieve in this hellish place. And it made her think of the silver lining of beauty that can be found even in darkness. She thought of the ebb and flow of this sound as she was carried listlessly along the current.

    She sat back down to just listen. And as she was drifting away to the quiet sounds, suddenly she noticed a male figure a few seats down from her and jutted awake again. She looked around at the ferry, but it did not seem to have stopped, leading to the figure''s presence having a confusing air.

    ¡°How did... how did you get on the ferry? We didn''t stop.¡±

    The man looked off wistfully into the distance.

    ¡°No one knows. Not even the person who threw me in knows. Perhaps it is only the gods and demons who know such things.¡±

    Mei wasn''t sure about this answer, but it did not seem to warrant further conversation. So she let it be and opted not to follow up on it.

    The ferry slid eventually to a stop at the furthest edge of the river. She climbed out, and the ferryman continued on without her ever having heard a word from him, bearing now only the other single passenger. She wondered if he had a story. But, of course, that might not even be a meaningful question to ask.

    The mountain still loomed over her, steep and imposing. But she was not yet at its base. And she still had a ways to go. She continued on.

    <hr>

    Mei traversed through the final field before the mountain, under the pink and red sky. From here, it was a straight line to the pinnacle. She had met a few more small-scale terrors on the way. There was a rampaging stampede of large slippers and spoons with an aggressive air. And although she had survived the encounter, she had been injured in the process, being covered now with injuries that left her blood dripping behind as she carried on. And although she was not yet at her limit, she was beginning to feel more tired, feeling like she was losing strength, and concerned about her ability to finish the journey.

    She looked up at the mountain. Its size did not really seem to change with distance. It was as if no matter how much you walked towards it, it always looked the same distance on the horizon. She hoped that this did not mean it was moving away from her. But it did not seem to be. That was simply how things looked here. Its shape also became more odd the closer you got to it. From far away, it looked like a normal mountain. But as you moved closer, its shape changed. Looking at times inverted, or like an abstract mathematical model.

    She trudged on through the field, with the long grasses blowing beside her in the wind. The field had a melancholy air. It felt like the absence of company. Certain types of nature made her feel like it was an exploration to be in them. But not so much when it was the flat nothingness of an empty field. She found herself wondering why she had been in her headspace for so long this time. For she had no memory of having ever spent this long inside of it in one go before. And this was something that began to make her concerned about what was transpiring in the outside world.

    Looking back down, she could see only one thing laid out in front of her, in the center of the field. It looked like some kind of black stone table, like a slab laying on its side. As she approached closer to it, she could see that it was a table with three occupants. The first, to the left, was a floating eye, with veins drooping off of it like tendrils. In the middle was a short man with a large head, wearing an oversized top hat, on top of which was another oversized top hat. On the right was some kind of small ghost ogre wearing a tie, having a very thin neck but otherwise larger proportions.

    She looked them over, wondering if they would mind if she sat.

    The man in the middle stood up and held up his hands in greeting.

    ¡°Welcome. We have been awaiting your arrival.¡±

    She looked around, confused at what was happening. But she felt she really needed to rest. Although she was also concerned that if she rested too long, she might no longer be able to go on. But she accepted the interlude without protest and sat down at a seat opposite to them, looking around.

    ¡°What is this place?¡±

    The man in the hats waved his hands.

    ¡°This is the last supper. For you are nearing the end of your journey.¡±

    She felt it was ominous to refer to a meal that way. But she wasn''t about to protest a chance to eat at this point. She remembered that she hadn''t eaten in awhile. Although while you were here in her headspace, you did not really need food in regular intervals on account of it not operating with linear time.

    ¡°What type of food do you like the most? We can make you anything you like. But you get only this one moment.¡±

    The ogre to the right interjected suddenly.

    ¡°And be quick about choosing. I''m starving!¡±

    The tophat man shot him a glare.

    Mei thought about it. She was indeed very hungry. She wasn''t sure how they could provide a meal while by themselves in an open field, but she wasn''t about to protest. She thought about what she wanted to eat most of anything in the world.

    ¡°I could go for a Banh Mi, if you don''t mind.¡±

    As she said this, the man in the top hats clapped his hands, and then the three figures started running and doing various things that she couldn''t quite follow. She wasn''t sure whether the things looked entirely food-related, but at the end, they came back with a large serving tray with a dome and lifted it up to show several sandwiches. She was cautious about taking one, on account of the place she had found herself, but not wanting to be rude, she took one quickly and took a bite. The sandwich at least seemed to function like a real one, and so she kept eating it without protest, being now very hungry.

    The other three occupants took sandwiches of their own and ate them in a quick gulp. Mei watched them in astonishment but ate hers at a fairly normal pace.

    The man in the center spoke up again.

    ¡°Would you like a wine pairing with your course?¡±

    Mei considered this. But she didn''t feel like pushing the limits.

    ¡°Umm... I''m too young to drink wine. I''m only in middle school.¡±

    The man stood there as if he didn''t expect this answer and wasn''t sure what to say next.

    ¡°Would you like... a soda?¡±

    She thought about it.

    ¡°That would be nice.¡±

    The man set down and slowly slid a can over to her. She momentarily finished her meal. After this, the man in the top hats leaned forward and crossed his hands.

    ¡°It is good that you are here, for there is much that we must discuss.¡±

    But before he could go on, the ogre quickly interjected.

    ¡°It is time for the next meal. I am hungry again!¡±

    The hatted man shot him another glare.

    ¡°We''re not making another meal. You just ate.¡±

    The man looked back at Mei with a blank stare.

    ¡°Pay him no mind. For he is always hungry.¡±

    The ogre waved up its arms in protest.

    ¡°Tis a cruel fate to be so starving at all times.¡±

    He looked at Mei.

    ¡°Down this path, there is no respite. Once you begin the path of endless consumption, you can never be satisfied. And you will never be at rest.¡±

    It slammed its arm down on the table.

    ¡°I consume, and I consume, and I consume, and what does it get me? Where does it lead?¡±

    Mei thought about this for a moment.

    ¡°Is this a riddle, or, like, a rhetorical question?¡±

    ¡°Is what?¡±

    ¡°The thing you just said.¡±

    ¡°What did I just say?¡±

    Mei was frustrated and decided not to pursue this line of questioning any further. As she looked away from the right side, the eye on the other side of the table spoke up now for the first time and waved its tendrils wistfully.

    ¡°You see, there are people who will consume endlessly, all in order to keep up appearances. They will go on and on and on until the point where they consume even themselves. Who consider how they are perceived to be more valuable even than their own life. Who will even willingly go into debt if it means a chance to be seen as rich. Paradoxical as it might seem.¡±

    The eye reached for one of the hats of the man to place it on his own head, and the man momentarily grabbed it to return it. The eye continued speaking without missing a beat.

    ¡°But if you only exist in the observation of others, then who are you?¡±

    It blinked.

    ¡°In a sense, there is a disconnect between all life. Because the you that exists in the world can never be the you that exists in perception. Perception is stained by bias, even if it is your own. But you must choose whose perception you want to live in.¡±

    The ogre, who had been making expressions for awhile, looked like it had suddenly realized something. It stood up on the table and began to look agitated.

    ¡°Wait a minute. You were talking about me!¡±

    The eye looked over at him.

    ¡°I talk about many things.

    "But yes, I was in fact, in this circumstance, talking about you.¡±

    The ogre dove over at him, and the eye moved slightly out of the way, resulting in it shooting past him and crashing down on the ground, rolling on for some distance as the trio at the table watched it tumble down the hill. This motion seemed to have deflated it, however, and so they continued to watch as it slowly got up and walked back to its seat. After which, it scratched itself and spoke again, having seemingly forgotten the whole episode.

    ¡°Does anyone want to gamble?¡±

    The eye shook its head in disapproval. It turned back to Mei.

    ¡°It is you who must observe yourself. Where you come from. Where you are going. I pray you find your way.¡±

    The hatted man took out a pocket watch to observe the time, and upon seeing it, he became visibly anxious. He stood up and bowed his head.

    ¡°The time for discussion has passed. Remember what we talked about.¡±

    Mei made a quizzical face.

    ¡°But we haven''t talked about anything yet.¡±

    ¡°You must go. Time is running short.¡±

    He remained standing and pointed for her to go onwards. She did not understand, but she had no other reason to protest, and did not want to overstay her welcome. So she stood up and continued on. As she went, the eye turned and made a final wave at her.

    ¡°Fare thee well.¡±

    <hr>

    She arrived at the base of the mountain. As she began climbing, she could see that not only the clouds but the sun and moon and planets all circled the pinnacle. For indeed it was the center of the world. Ascending it was a process that took you out of space and time. Stars streamed past you like bright lights, flittering in rainbow radiance. The climb went in directions that had no name, for the shape of the mountain did not conform to normal space.

    Although she was tired, she began rushing now, for she was eager to finish her journey and leave behind that which troubled her. But suddenly, she was stopped in her tracks. And so far from the top! She felt a great sense of fear. It was an air she recognized, the one that had tormented her all these years. There was a lot of things she no longer reacted to, as she had grown dull to the outside world. But this was one that she could never shake.

    A dark figure emerged before her, slowly standing up and spreading countless hands into the air. The creature stood tall among its surroundings, having the visage of a thin and shadowy wrathful deity. It was split down the middle, looking half male and half female, with two heads and a monstrous appearance. It commanded a regal air. Demanding respect as if it was the lord of lords. Doing so as if through an endless chain of filial piety. On and on.

    She tensed up and drew her blade, thinking it was about to attack her. But it did not. It put its arms down on the ground in front of her, and from them began shaping an object from the jewels in the ground. She waited to see what it was constructing.

    It pulled up from the ground four sides of a structure. And in stages, she could see that it was constructing a large seat. The creature filled it with jewels and gold, and it began to take on a majestic appearance. As it finished with this, she could see that it held up now over it a crown, and beckoned to her with its other arms. The crown waiting to be placed on the head of the one who would sit on the throne.

    ¡°Is that... for me?¡±

    It held one of its hands up high and gestured at the landscape all around her. She followed its hand motions all around the landscape. Seeing the world now from above, where it looked beautiful once again, the details of its corruption blurring into the landscape itself.

    It turned back and spoke to her. Not with its mouth, for it had no mouth. The place where its mouth should have been was stitched shut. But in a voice that pervaded her being, entering directly into her soul.

    ¡°All this will I offer you if you but fall to your feet and worship me.¡±

    She looked back towards the throne, and although she tried to resist, she found that she inadvertently took a step closer to it. It had an enticing appearance. And it had a force that pulled you in. Seeing it made you want to sit on it. Made you feel like it was the only possible choice. No less so because the difficulty of her journey had made her want it to reach its end. She had been suffering for so long. And the opportunity for reward felt now like it was becoming overbearing. A temptation being placed before you that no one could deny.

    But she stopped. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. What was it she wanted? To be accepted? To rule? Was this the end of her journey? She thought about what it would mean to take the path of compliance. And to simply accept that which was to come, in the hopes that she would come out of it as the one with power.

    But no. She couldn''t accept this. This isn''t the thing she came here for. And she had no intention of becoming another dark queen. She looked up with determination. She could see now that, in its hands, it was holding chains for her arms and legs. Chains that would bind her to the throne. And she saw it now for what it was. For the chains it held were connected to it as well. And went back on and on, in an endless cycle. If she took the throne, she too would become like this. And she, too, would eventually come to hold the chains. Waiting here and hoping to ensnare another.

    She took a step back.

    ¡°No! This isn''t what I want!¡±

    Its demeanor became instantly more aggressive, with it now twitching in response to her words. She could tell now that it wasn''t really trying to offer a deal. It was presented as a deal. But in the end, the only option was to accept. It began to drop its pretense of making an offer and started slowly moving towards her, quietly but aggressively. She began backing up from it.

    ¡°Your life is not your own. It is not in the man that walketh to direct his steps.¡±

    She began to feel more fearful. Although she did not want to accept it, she began to feel like there may be no option. For it was far too large for her to challenge the way she had done so for the smaller terrors. As its hands began to engulf her, she was about to give up, but, getting a sudden twinge of panic, she lashed out aggressively, slashing at its hand.

    ¡°I said no already. And I''m done talking about it!¡±

    It recoiled slightly and looked at its hand, which was now bleeding. It spent a moment taking in what it was looking at, like it could scarcely comprehend what had happened. But in stages, it looked back at her, now even more aggressively. It crouched down, growling and screaming in her direction, and slapped at her, sending her flying onto her back. Though with no open mouth, the sounds it made defied comprehension.

    ¡°Insolent worm!¡±

    Mei slowly climbed to her feet and drew her sword. Although she had been running low on energy, she felt energized now, in defiance. Mei had always been adept at swordsmanship. And despite the creature''s size, she felt emboldened now to stand against it with the last of her energy.

    She saw that without physical limitations to slow her down, she would be unbounded by gravity. She ran and jumped, bounding into the air with her sword and slashing along the creature. She landed down on the other side, with a blood splatter surrounding her. She turned back to see how much damage had been done.

    But she gasped. She looked up at its wound, and although faint, she could see that its wound was already healing. She thought about this quickly, wondering whether it could even be harmed if attacks like this had no meaning.

    It lurched at her, pinning her to the wall and beginning to squeeze. Her heart pounded as she struggled against the creature''s strength, her breaths coming in ragged gasps. She looked behind the creature at the mountain''s pinnacle. She had gotten so close to the top. Yet it felt now so far away. And she wondered if she would fall here after she had come so far.

    But no. It''s not over until it is over. She breathed in and pushed slightly back at its hand to allow her space. And then she used this to slide underneath, slashing along its arm again as she did. She saw now that slashing it did very little. For the wounds would heal momentarily. But it could delay its use of that arm for the moment. And it seemed to take time to respond to the attacks, often staring at them in confusion.

    It tried to grab her with two other arms, but she fought them off and backed up to give herself some distance. It began to lurch and swing at her repeatedly to wear her down, and although she was fighting off its arms, she still felt paralyzed by the fact that she had no solution to this fight, and so it was just a matter of time until she was captured.

    The creature itself did not seem to have unlimited stamina, however. So it reeled back for a moment to rest for itself. The wind blew by quietly as it stood up tall, taking on an air of disappointment. And Mei faced off with it from the opposing side.

    ¡°You are such a burden. Think of how lucky you are to have someone to take care of you. Who else would take you in?¡±

    Mei looked down sadly. She knew why these words were entering her headspace. She could see that fighting it directly was pointless. For in a way, it relished the conflict and antagonism. But she realized that there was something it didn''t want. And she could see now what she had to do. She stepped back to get a running start. And she jumped up onto the back of its hand, springing upwards and bounding between aspects of its body for more height. It tried to grab her as she went up, but she used the arms that tried to for additional leverage in turn.

    As she reached the top, she jumped up to the crown, as it now desperately tried to grab her. But as the arms bounded down on her, she slashed through it, and with it ending its symbol of authority.

    She flew through the air freely and landed on the other side, turning around after landing. As it saw what happened, it began to thrash and writhe, holding onto the crown as it began to decompose in its hands. As this began to happen, the creature started dissolving as well. It turned to Mei with anger in its eyes and tried to rush to her to grab her. But she took a step back. And it was prevented from doing so by the chains that bound its feet.

    As it saw that its chains prevented its movement, it turned now on the chains themselves, trying to pull off the very same chains it had tried to saddle her with. And seeing them now as an inhibition that held it in place, it raged at their presence in a moment of self-awareness as it continued to dissipate, thrashing as it did.

    In its final moments, it turned to Mei with sad eyes. And she felt overpowered by this and could not meet them, and so turned away to close hers. She kept them closed for a long while, in fear of the feeling of that glance. Wondering if doing so was an act of weakness. But as she finally looked back, she could see now that the shadowy figure was gone. And what lied before her was nothing but the empty chains.

    She waited for a moment, thinking of all that had transpired. And then turned forward to continue on for her final ascent. The pinnacle was just ahead.

    <hr>

    She arrived at the top. She was very tired on account of the journey she had undertaken. But she felt relieved now that it was going to all soon be over. For she felt she needed the rest. A long rest. Here at the end of everything.

    The top had a solemn air, as if it was a place of great importance. And from it, she could see endlessly into the distance, as if beyond the limited scope of the living world. She walked to the center and took out her sword, placing it face down in the center of the ground as if it was a flag to show her ascent. And stood before it to gaze off at the majestic image one could see at having reached this far.

    But... that was it. There was nothing here to meet her. And there did not seem to be anything further to do. She walked around the top, glancing in various directions and waiting to see whether anything further would happen. But nothing did. And as the minutes grew on, she began to grow restless and nervous at this absence.

    She looked down over the edge. She could see that there was nothing there except a field of flowers, seemingly untainted by the corruption of the area, placed as if left in memorial. She looked around, confused. This was the pinnacle. But she did not make any discovery here. At the end of the path, there was nothing.

    Having nothing else to do but rest, she sat down over the edge, letting her legs dangle free. She had reached the zenith and was now unsure about whether the journey had meaning. But there was nowhere else to go. This was the end. She looked idly down into the flower field, mesmerized, wondering who they were for.

    But she began to feel nervous. She could sense someone coming. She had always been good at doing so. She climbed back up and looked back as a solemn-looking figure draped in a black robe trodded towards her. As it got closer, she could see that under its hood was a hollow skull, bearing no emotion. And in its hands, it held a long scythe.

    She petitioned it cautiously.

    ¡°Who are you?¡±

    ¡°I am Death.¡±

    Mei gained a tense expression, thinking over the phantom''s response. But although she could not place why, she could feel that it was not lying. She looked around to see who he had come for. But there was no one else. Seeing this made her nervous to ask her next question.

    ¡°But who are you here for?¡±

    It looked coldly on her with its empty eyes and waited a moment that seemed to last eternally before speaking.

    ¡°I am here... for you.¡±

    She looked around nervously once again, hoping that it had made a mistake.

    "But, Death, I am not dying. Not yet.¡±

    She thought about this, momentarily distracted from her fear and thinking of what could have happened.

    ¡°Unless... did someone kill me? Out there? In the real world?¡±

    Her eyes became empty, thinking of what it could mean if she had been killed by someone outside of the headspace. In that moment, she felt no surprise at the idea that someone in her family might ultimately try to kill her. They no doubt wanted to be rid of her, after all. She felt a chill thinking about the world carrying on without her. Of her fading from her family''s memory. Being nothing but a scrap of old photos as they continued on with life in her absence.

    Death''s tone softened slightly.

    ¡°Poor child. Do you not remember?¡±

    Her nervousness increased.

    ¡°Remember what?¡±

    Death held up its hand. As it did, a spiral appeared, slowly tearing open space above the gap over the ledge. Within this, an image slowly came into being in front of her, of her own room in the real world. She hesitated before looking, afraid to see what would be revealed. But she had to look eventually. And as she did, in the center she saw, in terror, her own body hanging from the ceiling, motionless.

    She reeled back in shock.

    ¡°Is that... me?¡±

    But her memories were all flooding back now. She flitted for a moment in panic, collapsing to the ground and holding her head. Denial rushed through her like lightning, making her hope that there was some mistake. But she could remember it all now.

    The panic slowly subsided. And on realizing what had happened, she looked down in shame. She remembered now why she had come here today. It was to say goodbye. To say goodbye to her memories one last time before she sailed off from life and identity.

    But she could not accept it. Maybe she felt that way before. But she did not feel that way now.

    ¡°No, it can''t be. I''m not ready to die. I don''t want this!¡±

    Death looked at her without expression.

    ¡°There are few who are. But they do not get that choice. You are given one chance at life. And your life is now drawing to its close.¡±

    She made an angry face, about to protest again. But she thought it over and gave up without speaking. How could she be angry at Death? It was not the one who brought her here. No. She was the one who had brought it here.

    She stood up slowly and walked over to it quietly. She stood next to Death now, hanging her head in defeat.

    ¡°Is this it, then? I guess I really did do it after all. I was thinking about it for a long time. I suppose my family might be happier without me. Now... I can give them what they want.¡±

    She looked at the body that was in front of her.

    ¡°Did I... did I live a good life? I did what I was supposed to? What was needed of me?¡±

    Death stared down at her quietly.

    ¡°It is not for me to say. You, and only you, can decide the value of your life.¡±

    She looked down.

    ¡°I don''t feel like it was very valuable. I wasn''t wanted. I wasn''t loved. I didn''t even love myself. Maybe it wasn''t very valuable after all. It''s not like I got to enjoy it. Its possible I could have made it better, but... Its too late now.¡±

    She stood there next to Death in the cool breeze. Despite everything, she felt strangely comforted by its presence. She felt that death did not mean her ill-will. It was just a part of life. Like yin and yang. Time ebbs and flows. And sooner or later, it catches up to all of us.

    But she had regrets. And although she was beginning to come to terms with her situation, the regrets poured over her like a river, framing into her mind a torrent of lost opportunities.

    ¡°I wish...

    ¡°I wish I could have made a real friend. Just one. For all my life, I have been lonely. And I think if I had someone to share it with, it would have been more bearable. I think... if that happened, I would have been happy. Even if I had to die young.

    "I... almost had one once, but..."

    She sat silently for a long while.

    ¡°Can you tell me what it is like, Death? To have a friend?¡±

    Death stood there quietly for a time. She worried for a moment that it was not going to answer.

    ¡°Friendship is when lives become intertwined. It is to see the other as the self. To care about their life as if it is your own.¡±

    Mei looked at Death, then looked down sadly. These were feelings that were alien to her. She understood the vague idea of caring about someone else. But she had never been taught this empathy. Her family did not ask for empathy from her. Just compliance. And they gave her neither in return. She felt like she was broken for not being able to feel it.

    ¡°Death, have you... have you ever had a friend?¡±

    There was an even longer pause now. She worried that what she had said might have come off improper. She felt herself growing cold. But in the end, Death looked down at her softly.

    ¡°All of life is my friend. That is why I come to meet them in their last moments. To walk them home. And so that they will not have to die alone.¡±

    She paused, thinking it over. And then held up a hand to Death.

    ¡°Will you... will you be my friend?¡±

    She looked down sadly.

    ¡°I have... no one else.¡±

    Death looked at her. And then silently took her hand. She looked back at the image of herself.

    ¡°I suppose if I had had a friend in life, I would have had something else to live for. Something other than...

    ¡°My family wanted me to live for them. But I''m not sure they were really living either. It didn''t really feel like caring about someone.¡±

    Death shook its head slowly.

    ¡°It is not a true bond if one looks only at what you do for them. A true connection is when their pain is your pain. Their grief is your grief.

    ¡°There is a saying. No greater love one has than one who lays down his life for his friends. It is through valuing others that you can learn to value yourself.¡±

    Mei thought about this. And she felt something beginning to connect in her mind. She felt she was finally beginning to understand the idea of true bonds. Ones that existed beyond the false ones she had been forced to play the role of. Not only of friends. Of family. What would it mean to have a true family?

    She felt something intently for the first time that she had never thought about before. Something that made her chest hurt. She could feel her mind expanding. Having empathy now for the whole world.

    ¡°There must... there must have been many others like me. Ones who had no one to care for them. If I could have known them, I could have helped them as well.

    ¡°Its sad. Thinking of all those who are suffering alone, with no one to care for them. But I... I can''t do anything.

    ¡°I...¡±

    She fell silent. She thought it over for a long time. About what it means to value life. Not just your own. But all life. Seeing yourself within a nexus of the great tapestry of creation.

    And then... she came to an answer.

    She looked up with determination. She gently took her hand out from Death''s and glanced up at it intently.

    ¡°I''m sorry, Death. But I can''t go with you today.

    ¡°I have finally found the answer to my life. I will never stop fighting. For me. For my sisters and brothers. For everyone who is alone and helpless.¡±

    Death looked down at her.

    ¡°It is appointed to men once to die. Do you truly believe you can run from fate?¡±

    She held up her arms in a commanding position.

    ¡°No. I''m done with running. It is now that I have to face myself.

    ¡°But you just stay there and watch me. Watch me, and you will see that Lan Mei never gives up!¡±

    She turned around to look at her silent image. She took several steps back, crouching over her sneakers for a running start. And then ran and bounded off the ledge into it, breaking through the barrier that separated it from the open space. As she broke through, she was surrounded by a tessellating image that pervaded her all around. She found herself in a fractal of her own mind, in an image of her room. She held on to her body. Hugging it now in an act of self-love that she had never before known. Seeing herself now from outside eyes, as her body hung there silently.

    She pulled her hand back and then jabbed it into her own chest. As she did so, she felt great pain as if from a real wound, with both images of her spraying blood out all around her. She reached through her flesh, grabbing onto her own silent heart, taking hold of it. As she did, she squeezed it. And let go. And then repeated this, as if to recreate the movement of its beating. She pumped it to activate it as her blood sprayed out and dripped down the side of the mountain onto the flowers below.

    She went on doing this for some time. But despite her efforts, it did not make it active on its own. She started slowing. And as she did, she began to be discouraged. She looked back at Death, who was still standing there, staring at her silently.

    She looked at her silent body. She caressed its face, seeing now what it looked like to see yourself as an other. And by extension, what it means to see another as yourself. On and on, like an infinite jeweled net. With each jewel reflecting the others in an endless fractal.

    But no. This was not over. She was not dying today. She shoved her other arm into her chest, giving it everything she had. She squeezed down on her heart as if to fall into it. She reached in, peering with her mind, seeing it now as if it was its own world full of her fading hopes and dreams. She grabbed hold of them with invisible arms and put them back in their places. And then squeezed the entire thing, as if to turn it into a diamond, doing so as her hands burned under the pressure, putting her through pain she could not have imagined.

    As she did this, all at once, it began again. Her heartbeat returned, and as it did, a wave of energy exploded outward, shooting her back from the image and onto the ledge, dropping her on her back. Ruffled from the fall, she slowly stumbled up and steadied herself to bring her to her feet. She looked at her body, waiting eagerly. But all at once, she saw it begin twitching. She could see from the image that her body was now moving again, faintly, and not yet dead. And that there would still be time to return to it and fix her mistake.

    She also looked around her. From the change she had caused, it had begun to change the headspace world as well. The energy wave traversed across the landscape, and as it did, the blood rain ceased and was replaced with open sky. The tainted ground returned to its green form, and the frightening imagery eroded away as it was restored to its clean sense of untainted memories. She stared in awe as she saw the change it had undergone, seeing things she thought she could never see again.

    She turned to death, who was looking up at the changes as well, and whose robe had now changed with the scenery, becoming pure and white. She could not see its expression, for it had none over its empty skull. But she felt that its face looked soft. It looked back and spoke down at her.

    ¡°For some, it is only when facing death that they learn the meaning of their life. Pray you do not forget it.¡±

    She smiled back.

    ¡°I don''t intend to. Not ever.¡±

    She thought for a moment. And then looked down, smiling now more shyly.

    ¡°But... Death... Did you know that this would happen?¡±

    ¡°No. But I knew you had it in you.¡±

    She smiled, still looking down.

    ¡°Thank you. For believing in me. I will show you. I will show you all that I can do with life. Not just for me. But for all others who are alone and who need someone to care for them.

    ¡°But I''d better go. There is someone who needs me right now. Even if it is myself. So I have no time to dawdle.¡±

    Death looked down at her.

    ¡°Farewell, Lan Mei. We will meet again."

    It changed to a softer voice.

    ¡°On that day, tell me how you lived your life. I will be happy to hear it.¡±

    She gave Death a thumbs up.

    ¡°I will. Just you wait.¡±

    Death held up its arm, holding its fingers over her head like a scissors. She gave a final wave to the landscape and then sheepishly bowed her head, holding her hands behind her back. It spoke to her one final time.

    ¡°I appoint you the messenger of death. Carry this message with you. And show to people the value of their life. For it is all too fleeting. And there are many who do not get a chance to see its beauty.¡±

    She nodded.

    ¡°I will.¡±

    Death snipped its fingers together. As it did, she woke up back into the real world, falling from her ceiling as the rope snapped. She hit herself slightly on the ground as she fell, getting up and rubbing herself in a daze. She looked at the rope, which had fallen with her, and after examining it, quickly untied the noose. She looked at the plain rope for awhile and then threw it away where it would not be noticed.

    She laid back down and looked up at the ceiling.

    ¡°Thank you, Death.

    ¡°I know... things will still be difficult. Probably for a long time. Maybe forever. But I think... I think I am up to it.¡±

    She reached a hand up to the ceiling.

    ¡°We''ll see.¡±

    She laid there for a long time, just thinking. About the future. About life. About what type of person she was going to grow into. And what that person would say to her if she could see her now? Would she remember this day? Or would it be lost like so many other things into the sea of forgotten memories? She held up her arm as if to reach through time to see where it could be taken. Sorting through infinite futures to find the one that would reach back to her.

    ¡°Mei! Come down and eat dinner.¡±

    She sat up, thinking, and then speaking out loud to herself.

    ¡°Yeah. I could eat.¡±

    She put on a fake smile so that she could maneuver the family meal. Though she felt that a bit of a real one was creeping into it as well, for the first time in a long time.

    She got up and walked out of the room. She never visited the park again.

 9: Young Forever

    Today was Isaac''s birthday. He always had a good time at them. And he always tried to make sure other people who were there did so as well. Isaac was a kind child and very empathetic. He could always sense the feelings of others and was eager to help them if they had issues. He hoped that he could grow up to be someone who helps people often. Although he was not quite sure how. He wished he could grow up faster. Since he always felt like it took so long for him.

    Isaac Dorian had a condition. It was, in part, his condition that contributed to his empathy. For it made him realize what could be lost in life. It was not a debilitating one. But it was enough to put him under the weather at times. And its effects came and went. Although it did not ruin his ability to run around and play, it did change his appearance slightly. He remembered that long ago he had had black hair. But now it had faded to mostly white. His eyes had changed color too, as pigment was lost from them, giving him an Albino appearance and making too much sun be dangerous for him.

    But Isaac was happy. About most things, that is. While his parents always made sure he had friends and took him out to things, there was one thing he was sad about that often stuck in the back of his mind. This was that him and his family often had to move from place to place. They would be in one location for awhile, and he would go to school there. But eventually, he would have to move. And this would often involve leaving friends behind. Despite being shy and skittish, he always managed to make new friends in the new areas they moved to. But there was still always a degree of sadness in the transition. His parents gave a loose reason for why they needed to move, but he did not understand it.

    So this moment was bittersweet. Because he knew he was quickly approaching the point when he would have to move on once again. He had grown numb to this reality over time. People come and go, but he remains. He hoped he would have just as many friends in his next life. He always felt lucky that he managed to make new friends as he moved around. And he wondered whether it was due to his attempts to be kind to others.

    But those were thoughts for another day.

    Today was a happy day.

    And he vowed to make sure everyone remembered it as such.

    The party today was taking place at a sky pool. These are pools placed at the top of buildings that give a view of the entire surrounding area. He burst out onto the roof, looking around in amazement at the breathtaking view. He was the first one there, of course. It was his party, after all. Looking around, he saw that this one even had a section that used backdrops to make it seem like you were swimming in the air. Those parts of the pool are not for those who are scared of heights, however. He wouldn''t blame the kids who didn''t want to go into that part, since it was a rather intimidating vision. Swimming out and seeing it look like clouds are beneath you.

    To add to the aesthetic, the pools would often also bait sky fish into coming near to them and swimming around the building, giving the entire thing an amazing vision that you were unlikely to see on the ground. In many ways, the experience of being at one of these was almost more about the aesthetics than about the swimming. Because there was just so much to look at. At night, they would sometimes have a fireworks display or light show too (after doing something to lure away the fish, of course. For it would be rather awkward if both were in the same place). And there was going to be a light show today for his birthday.

    He walked to and fro, making sure that everything was set up for when other people would arrive. In truth, he did not really like to be the center of attention, on account of being rather shy. He twiddled his thumbs nervously, thinking about the fact that he would have to be so focused on again. But since he was about to move, he did want a chance to get to do something bigger and say goodbye to everyone he knew. As usual, he planned to downplay his own centrality to the party. He didn''t like to be sung at or watched open presents. He would even clarify to people who weren''t very close to him that presents weren''t necessary at all. He wanted the experience to be a chance for him to make others happy, not to focus on himself. If not for how much he wanted to do things for others, he likely would never have been okay with large parties at all.

    The truth is, while it was not something he considered when he was very young, he did catch on over time that his family seemed to have more money than those around him. This embarrassed him slightly on account of how his empathy made him aware, even at a young age, at what types of problems others might have. He thought that when he was older, he could try to use that money to do something for other people. But he did not bring this up with his parents on account of concerns over what they might think of this. For they did not seem to share such an enthusiasm.

    Eventually, the moment came, and the kids streamed in for his party. As he watched them come in, he thought about how he would have liked a chance to cry and say goodbye to those he was closer to one by one - after all, this may even be the last time he sees some of them outside of school. But that would create a somber tone for the party. And he would feel bad making it all just about how he was leaving. So he greeted them each individually with a smile on his face. One that belied the deep chasm beneath.

    As he did this, he glanced shortly over at his parents, who in appearance came off oblivious to the realities of how he felt. They didn''t seem sad about the situation at all. Maybe it was his own fault. He tried to avoid expressing his dismay about this to them because he knew they didn''t like to hear it. And he felt guilty because they did so much else for him. His parents had something to do, and so would not be present for the latter half of the party at all. He wondered where it was they were going.

    The events now underway, he dove in the pool to go swimming with the other kids, and tried to enjoy himself for the day. But underneath his forced smile, this was all still weighing heavily on his mind. He partook in everything that was prepared there. Not just the pool, but the various games that were set up. It was an effort, but he was used to having to force himself to express a positive demeanor when necessary. But over time, in part from presenting as such, he did start to enjoy the day more for real, almost forgetting in the process what it was that ailed him.

    By the time night fell, despite everything, he was fully enthralled and caught up in the moment. As the show began, he gasped in amazement at the staggering lights that flew unburdened in the skies above them. And for a brief moment, he forgot all that was weighing on his mind. Music soared out alongside it. And as he stretched out his arms he felt like its bombastic sound could carry him away from his worries, so that he might float listlessly up into the sky.

    As he looked over the edge at the spinning lights, he tried to be optimistic about what the future would hold. For time marches on. And all you can do is move forward to meet it. He didn''t want to be stuck in the present. Or unable to let go of the past. He thought he should try to take moving as an opportunity. A chance to see something new. For after all, there are many who wished for such an opportunity but who ended up stuck in one place for a long time.

    And who would want to be stuck in one place for a long time?

    As the party winded down, he began to come off of his high of excitement. Friends trailed out one by one. And he felt saddened as he saw them go. For soon enough, would come a time when he never got to see them again. He wondered whether he would reconnect with them in his adult life. Or would they have moved on from him by then? He stepped out of the pool and got dressed back in normal clothes. And for the few closer friends who stayed late he had a fun time talking and laughing. But as time marched on, even they would have to go. And they, too, left one by one.

    Eventually, they were all gone. And only he remained.

    He walked about, picking up his things, and walked down to the lobby, where he waited for his parents to come collect him to him and take him home. His parents always had an extravagant appearance in dress to match the extravagant events. But he was starting to view this with more scrutiny now. Wondering if it was all an appearance to cover up something. For all their preparation, his parents had not remembered when the party ended nor bothered to be there on time. He was not sure how to contact them, for they did not yet allow him a phone. So he just waited, sitting, with nothing else to do. Feeling alone in both body and spirit.

    But as he waited, something else happened. Something more unexpected. He began to feel more eerie. Like there was something dangerous present. He looked up and saw it only for a moment. A figure in a long coat and hood watching him from across the street with a terrifying air. He couldn''t see their eyes. But he felt their gaze, looking deep into his soul. And he could tell that they weren''t merely glancing past him. Their observation was boring into him personally.

    But the moment passed. And the figure was gone. Leaving him feeling uneasy. Uncertain if it was but a dream. And leaving the street empty with no other motion for the remainder of the still spring night.

    Time passed in a portion he could not recount. Eventually, his parents'' car pulled up. And he forgot almost all about this phantom, in relief that he had not been abandoned. His mother got out, loading the car and asking about the portion of the party which they had not been present for. And then before settling in once again kissed him on the head.

    ¡°Never grow up. You are precious just the way you are.¡±

    He thought about this. He used to like this sentiment when he was younger. But he had grown ambivalent to it over time. After all, he was already in middle school. He should think about growing up now and about the future. Lots of things would change for him once he was in high school. He felt he was too old for sentiments such as this.

    Despite his attempts to feel positive, his mood soured once again. And he felt somber on the ride home. He hated to question his parents when they did so much for him. But he didn''t feel like he could keep quiet about it any longer.

    The problem, though, was, what was it he was even trying to ask? He thought about it. There were many different things he wanted to get a chance to talk about. But his parents were always fairly evasive. And while he felt loved, he at times felt like this was conditional on him being a recipient who didn''t protest. As if he was a toy to be paraded around on their whims.

    He could ask whether they really had to move. But he had done that before, when younger. And the answer was none too satisfying. So he could perhaps tone it down a bit. He thought of a softer way to word his question. And as he did so, he found himself wondering why he was so afraid of his parents. And realizing now for the first time that he indeed was afraid. Afraid to act outside of his expected parameters.

    ¡°Would it be possible for me to... keep in contact with some of my friends after we move?¡±

    The silence was deafening. He could feel the jovial air in the car suddenly turn negative. And he could suddenly sense intense hostility from them that was not there previously. He expected it to become a stressful conversation. But instead, he was simply shut down immediately.

    ¡°I am afraid that will not be possible.¡±

    The tone this was delivered in, despite a faux air of calmness, had such implicit hostility that it made him legitimately afraid to go on. He had come to terms with the fact that they had to move. But now that he had tried to come up with what he saw as a compromise, he was confused why it was shut down so harshly.

    And he began to grow uneasy. He was old enough now to suspect that something like this would be explained if the reasoning for it was benign. And that if they were keeping a secret, it may have dark intentions behind it. He felt guilty for thinking this way about his own parents. But what choice did he have, when it seemed like they were determined to hold him back and keep him from having long term relationships? Maybe if he lived too far away, it would be difficult to see someone. But he knew that there were other ways to keep in touch. And that it was a big deal for them to be forcibly prevented.

    He began to brood for the rest of the trip home.

    <hr>

    Some weeks later, he arrived at the new home that they were moving into. It had already been set up for them. All of his favorite things were placed in a bedroom that would be his. The house and courtyard were already decorated. The house itself was fairly large, for his parents were rather wealthy, although not in the upper echelons of society.

    He already had a new school set up. But he did not feel eager to go. School felt too easy for him now. The studying he did on his own was already at a much higher level than anything they did in class. His parents told him not to be concerned over this. If he could do homework faster, he would have to spend less time on it. But he started seeing it as a waste to go at all. He didn''t feel like he was really learning much by going anymore that he couldn''t learn faster on his own.

    And... friends. He could make friends there. But he felt jaded now. Even if he made friends, eventually he would have to leave them once again. He thought he was okay with this. That he had come to terms with it by now. But it was a struggle feeling like they moved on without you. He felt held back by his situation. Especially ever since he came to realize that, after all, they would all still know eachother long after he was left behind.

    He went on to his new middle school all the same, though. And he did interact with a few new kids there who he supposed could become closer friends. But he did not feel very much like spending time with them. He found himself staying distant more than he used to. He was young, so he could not understand his own motivations. He felt like if he spent time with them, he was just going through the motions. Much of the joy had left him.

    And... his sickness got worse. He was coughing more now. And he began to feel physically weak more often. It was not so bad that he couldn''t go out or walk around. But he found himself wanting to less. Often spending more time drawing or playing something by himself.

    He asked his parents about it. But they told him it was all in his head. And that he had no need to understand his body. That he was straining himself too much, overworking and studying, and trying to grow up too much. And that he should just relax and not take things so seriously. Take the time to be a child. These answers did not satisfy him. And his fears that they were deliberately keeping him acting young by forcibly removing all influences aimed at older children or teens did not help. He looked forward to highschool. To the greater freedom that would come from entering a new stage. But his parents would get aggressive if he mentioned this. Hell, he wasn''t even allowed to watch much in the way of teen media. And as time passed, he began to notice this more intently.

    And he began to get suspicious.

    It was something difficult to place. In the past, he had thought of his parents as perhaps just a little strict. But that this was something offset by the things that wealth could bring him. But he started to push boundaries more. And noticed over time just how far this strictness went. He noticed that he was never allowed to go out alone without guards or to be too far from them when people were over. Everything that came into his house seemed rigorously curated. He had heard other children talk about cyberspace for some time but never given it much thought. But he noticed now that it was something he was kept from. He was allowed access to a library of various books that he could learn from on his own time, but he began to notice how many topics seemed suspiciously absent.

    He sat on his bed to think. His house started to feel like a jeweled prison. And he began to realize that despite the ostensible presence of opulence, that he was never really treated as the beneficiary, but rather that he existed for the sake of his parents. As if the house were a zoo, with him as the observed creature. He thought about the nature of zoos themselves. Did the animals there feel trapped too? He started to feel sympathy for all those who felt stuck. For feel stuck he did. He felt like despite the changing scenery, fundamentally, his life had not changed in a long time. And that his parents were actively trying to hold him back from changing.

    He wanted to know. And he made it his mission to find out. He couldn''t go far. But he could try to figure out whether they were hiding something. So he began looking. On a particular day, he got up to walk around the house, thinking of what might be there for him to discover. Most of the rooms were more decorative. There were some storage rooms in the attic, but he wasn''t sure if he would be likely to find much there. He climbed up to the attic and spent some time up in them, sorting through boxes to see if he found anything suspicious. But he began to get discouraged due to finding nothing of note. There was some old family stuff. Some of it was even rather interesting. But this wasn''t what he was interested in now.

    He began to get discouraged. Wondering whether he shouldn''t give up looking. He could try running away, maybe. His parents always had a few guards around the house. But he considered now that the guards that were allegedly there for his family''s protection might actually be to keep him in. He was young; he wouldn''t be able to get far against them. And they had a camera system to watch the outside grounds, so he would likely immediately be noticed if he was found trying to leave them. He wondered if he didn''t have a chip too, to make himself able to be tracked down even if he escaped for real.

    But on walking discouraged through his house again, he thought of something else. His parents always kept an office, which they kept locked and which he was told he was not allowed to enter. They did in previous houses too. But curious now, he tried the lock on it to see. It was solid. He couldn''t smash through. But in that moment, a plan began forming in his mind. If they had something, it would likely be in there. What secrets was this room hiding? Did his parents know of the hooded figure who had been observing him? What dark conspiracy tied them together?

    First, he went to the security room on the pretense of speaking with the guard. On this, there was nothing for them to be suspicious of. In this room, there were several screens tied to cameras across the property. He looked at the various cameras inside and outside the house. And from this, he realized that within the office room there was no camera. The guards were not allowed inside that room. So if he managed to get inside and close the door behind him when his parents weren''t around, he determined that he would have a decent stretch of time alone in the room. At least long enough for the guards to realize he was missing and go looking for him.

    But what of the lock itself? He walked back and took a quick look at it. It didn''t seem to be an electronic lock. Oftentimes, manual locks would be used out of fear of electronic ones being hackable. But these, too, were not perfect. If it was manual, it was pickable. He just needed to know how.

    He knew of the concept of lockpicking. He had heard it mentioned in books and movies. But he had no clue where to begin. He doubted that either of these things would contain an actual, in-depth description on how to do it. He looked around at the books he had access to. He did have some books about the mechanics of objects. He looked through them. And to his exhilaration, he found that one did indeed have a portion that mentioned the design of doors and locks.

    He spent days going over this, trying to understand the mechanics of a lock. Despite his ostensible age, he had felt advanced at learning - this being part of why his actual school seemed too far behind him. And so he began a plan of trying to use these books to reverse-engineer the idea of a lockpick.

    He felt that if there was anything in the office room, that he didn''t have a lot of chances to get at it. If he was seen tying to pick the lock, then anything in there would likely be moved. Perhaps even a different lock would be added. So he needed to be able to practice in some other way.

    He requested some tinkering materials. And was shortly brought some objects for doing so. Quite a lot, in fact. He didn''t want to be seen just making a makeshift doorknob out of fear that it would give up his intended activity. So he spent some time making a few different simple objects as a distraction, leaving them around his room. And then set to work, working out the logistics of a lock. He had a few setbacks, but eventually, in time, this indeed worked as he intended, and he came to understand how to manipulate them with picks on a fundamental level.

    He continued practicing with this to get better at it. And he managed to get his speed of doing so down to a relatively short time. He knew that the hallway leading to the office had a camera. So he would not have long to get into the room. He would need to cause a distraction in order to ensure that the guard at the cameras would not be looking.

    He sat to think over what could work for this. He could start a fire, but that would be too dangerous. If it was just a firework, it would not draw enough attention. And if it looked like a prank, they would likely go looking for him immediately. He considered using an animal, but he felt bad at the thought. But he realized he already had the tools he needed. He just needed to design something that would move after a delay. If he rigged up a pile of things that would make a loud noise on camera, it would likely distract the camera guard long enough to have him look away from the hallway screen. Doubly, if it was unclear what happened, making them have to struggle to determine what they were looking for.

    So he rigged up a machine that would, after ten minutes, pop out. And he set up in a conspicuous place outside what looked like a decoration that would readily fall from a small unseen movement. They would see him setting it up, of course. But they would not know why. And if his tool did not make it obvious its purpose they would not suspect anything. Leaving them to assume that perhaps a cat had knocked it over when they weren''t looking.

    The day came. A day when his parents would be gone for a long stretch. He set everything up. He put it into motion. He had tested it before to know, down to the second, how long it would take to cause a crash. And he walked back inside, hoping to allay suspicion. He knew where the cameras were in the house after all. He had memorized them from the security room. So he would try to avoid them as much as possible, to leave confusion over where he was going.

    As the time ran out, he heard a crash in the distance. From there on, he had no way to know what would happen with the guard. But it was now or never. He slipped quickly into the hallway leading up to the office and walked down to the end. It was long, and had nothing else on the far side. He did not know how much time he had, but he knew he had no time to dawdle. His hands fumbled as he attempted to open the lock with his homemade tools. He dropped his lock picks out of nervousness. And he cursed himself for the feeling that it took too long. He inserted the picks, playing with the mechanism, nervous that he could be spotted at any time and that it was possible he had been already. But eventually, he got the door open. He quickly slipped inside and closed the door behind him, breathing a sigh of relief.

    He felt more calm now. But he wasn''t sure if this was unwarranted. He had no way of knowing if he had been spotted. He may have some time to look, or alternatively, any minute now, a guard could bust in and the game would be over. He didn''t know what would happen to him for being found in here. But at this point, he was afraid that the consequences could end up bigger than he had been used to. For he begun to see his parents in a more scary light than he had in the past.

    But now inside, he looked around the room. It was quiet inside like the rooms were soundproofed. The room itself was nothing spectacular. It looked like any office room might, albeit fairly ornate. There were a few desks, and various filing cabinets. There was a drink corner designed to look like special guests might be served there. He did know that some important-looking people had come here from time to time. Though he did not know what that was about.

    He turned on one of the computers. It needed a password to be used. He thought about this for a few moments and tried a few words he thought his parents might use. But none of these words granted access. He concluded that this would not likely be something he could guess so easily. He powered it back down. Thinking it over, however, he got nervous. Some computers might list when they were last accessed. He cursed himself for his thoughtlessness. If possible, he should leave no trail.

    Having hit one dead end, he went over to the filing cabinets. These too were locked. He had not considered that something inside the room would be locked as well. But fortunately, he already had the picks with him. He hoped that this lock would be easy to get through. Filing cabinets, he discovered, tended to have easier locks to pick than doors. After little more than inserting the tools, the drawer opened. And he gained access to the papers inside.

    He sorted through them. Many of them were about things that had little to do with him. A lot of them mentioned money or the church. He left them where they were, so as not to disturb them. Eventually, he started getting to things with his name on them. He sorted through them. Some of them were just doctor visit papers or school papers. He looked over them, but there did not seem to be anything interesting on them. The term biohacking showed up on some of them. He loosely understood what it was. Altering your body for better health. But he wasn''t sure how this applied to him, and the technical knowledge seemed too complicated for him.

    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    He regretted that he didn''t bring a camera in with him, because if he had, he would have been able to take pictures of some of these papers to decipher later. He looked back at the entrance to the room. But he didn''t have time to go back now. It would be too risky. He looked back at the cabinet. But suddenly, he froze. He heard something like a creaking by the door, and he looked quickly back at it. He waited to see if someone was coming in. He remained staring at it for a long time. But no one did. Eventually, he calmed down and kept looking.

    He found his birth certificate. He expected to find something mysterious or suspicious on it. So he looked away for a long period before finally looking. But... he didn''t. It was pretty normal-looking. It had his normal name on it. It had the right locations. He wasn''t sure what he expected to find here, but whatever it was, he hadn''t yet found it.

    He sat down in disappointment. What was he even doing? He might theoretically find some papers they were keeping hidden about something related to something other than him himself, but so what? That''s not what he was looking for. And finding out that they were secret criminals, or whatever else they might do in secret, had little to do with him. Although it would perhaps lend more credibility to the idea that they were doing something suspicious that involved him himself.

    He was about to put the papers back. But he figured he should look over them one last time. He quickly glanced at them, hoping to find some kind of discrepancy. He didn''t expect to find much at this point. But he was already here, so he may as well.

    He looked through them with bored eyes. But suddenly... he got an intuition. He picked up two different papers to compare them. And he noticed an issue. Finally, what he had been looking for. He picked up another paper to verify and noticed the same thing. He could have taken pictures for proof. But he was now shaking in anger at what he found and no longer worried about being discovered. He just kept the papers themselves. He stuffed everything he didn''t need back in the cabinets without a concern for order and got up to leave the room.

    He was nervous and already panicking over what he had seen. He couldn''t explain it. But if it was true, his parents would have to be able to. He closed the cabinet and slammed the door back shut, no longer caring who knew he was there. He trailed back into the hallway and back to his room. He saw no evidence that the guards noticed his activities. This itself did not prove anything. But it didn''t matter now. He waited for the inevitable confrontation he would have to have when his parents returned.

    <hr>

    Isaac''s parents were sitting in the drawing room, speaking and laughing. They had returned from somewhere or other and had tea and sandwiches brought to them. It was after dinner time, but it seemed like they had not had time for a full meal when out, since they were likely busy with something. But no matter.

    Isaac glared at them from behind the table. But they did not notice him at first. He walked up menacingly to speak.

    ¡°How... old am I?¡±

    The parents looked shocked, like they didn''t expect such a question. And weren''t sure how to answer it in a blowoff way. They looked at each other nervously.

    ¡°W-what do you mean?¡±

    He walked up and dropped his birth certificate and some of the more recent doctors office papers on the table.

    ¡°Some of these visits are decades apart from eachother! Why am I... how is this possible? Am I even Isaac? Whose papers are these?¡±

    His parents looked at each other, still nervous, and then started forcing a smile.

    ¡°W-what? Of course you are Isaac. That''s normal. What is wrong with that?¡±

    He was getting frustrated. In the past, he might not have scrutinized this even had he found it. But he had heard kids in his school mention age before and realized that this wasn''t at all a reasonable age for middle school. He knew that kids were supposed to be similar ages to others they went to school with, so he wondered why this had never came up.

    His mind was racing. Did the guards in the house make sure that other kids who visited never talked about age? How would they? Did they do this by talking to the parents before they even came over. Does that mean... were a lot of his friends not even ones he authentically found? Were they just people his parents paid to have sent over so that he would not be alone? Was anything in his life real?

    He slammed his fist down on the table.

    ¡°Don''t lie to me! I know this isn''t normal. At this age, I should be an adult! Why am I still a child?¡±

    They looked at him, trying to placate him.

    ¡°We were just doing what was best for you. It is for your own good.¡±

    He could scarcely believe what he was hearing.

    ¡°My... my own good? What is... that''s crazy!¡±

    They leaned back, making now a more unhinged appearance as they spoke, with their mask of agreeableness dropping, and showing beneath it a terrifying expression he had before now never seen.

    ¡°Don''t speak to us that way. The world is full of corruption. It is better for you to stay innocent.¡±

    He felt uneasy at how their demeanor changed. Backing down now slightly, but still pleading out the message he wanted to convey.

    ¡°But I''ve... I''ve waited so long to grow up. Are you trying to take all of that away?¡±

    They furrowed their brows at him in a way that felt very intimidating, scaring him even more intently than the first time.

    ¡°We are your parents! It is our decision how to raise you, no one else''s. You exist to be as we want you. We know what''s best for you, and we won''t tolerate any disobedience or disrespect. You belong to us, and you will do as we say.¡±

    They turned to speak to each other, temporarily ignoring him.

    "It is happening again. These breakdowns are getting to be a rather large nuisance."

    "We will have to take him to get him fixed again. Hopefully it sticks this time."

    Isaac was on the verge of tears, and being upset was making him hyperventilate, which led to him coughing. His sickness was getting worse. Realizing that this was unlikely to go anywhere, and now intensely afraid, he backed off and then ran away crying to his room, slamming the door. They started after him to chastise him more and acted like they were going to come into his room. But he propped his door closed to bar entry, worried now about actual physical harm. They stood there yelling through the door for awhile, but he tuned them out and tried to ignore their shouting. Eventually, their voices got quieter, and he assumed they had given up and ambled away. They were never good at keeping focus on him once they got bored.

    He wasn''t sure he could trust anyone anymore. He knew he was being lied to, but he had no idea how to figure out any more about why. He sat at his desk, crying for awhile, now in intense fear over the future. But eventually, this subsided to a whimper. He had no clue how much time had passed in the interval. Maybe minutes. Maybe hours. He wondered if the problem was just with him. That he was just ungrateful for everything that had been done for him. And that he should just brush aside what he felt. But after all, he had no way to determine this. He was just a child. And in that position, you are lost when it is your own adults who you feel you cannot trust.

    Gradually, he began to look out the window. It was beginning to rain lightly now as night descended over the world. The sound of rain always made him feel more peaceful. But at the moment, he wasn''t sure how well it was working. He closed his eyes to say a prayer to Sakras for guidance.

    But as he opened them again, he was suddenly shocked. Because he could see that outside now, down in the courtyard was the same shadowy hooded figure from before. The figure was looking up at the house. Whoever it was, they knew where he lived! They weren''t initially looking at him, just the house in general. But as he put his head to the glass, suddenly their head turned in his direction. He shot back from the window. He was nervous now, wondering why they were here. And feeling trapped between two unknown dangers.

    He looked back out, wondering if he should tell his parents, despite everything. But he could see that the figure was already engaging with the guards, and so a warning was likely already raised. Although his parents were slightly wealthy, the house was only a small mansion. And so there were not very many guards. And as an extent of this, he was worried the guards could be injured from the altercation, it being a surprise attack, and him not knowing whether the figure was by itself.

    He saw the first two guards run up. But the figure moved quickly, tripping one of them and grabbing the other one to inject them with something. At this point, the other two pulled weapons, but the figure ducked behind a wall, pulling and shooting the one on the ground with something.

    The other two guards hesitated and made their way around slowly. But the figure was already gone from the side when they arrived there. And as they looked confused, it jumped out at them from the shadows on the other side. The figure moved like it was almost inhuman, with reflexes the guards could not keep up with even together. Shots rang out. The guards tried to shoot, but it dodged their attempts to shoot at it and injected the remaining two both with something that made them collapse.

    It hit Isaac now. All the guards were now down. He panicked, realizing that there was now nothing to protect the house from the solitary intruder. He hoped the intruder was only there for money, and would leave him and his family alone. But he couldn''t be sure. He felt frozen in fear. But he had no choice. Despite now no longer trusting his parents, he needed to go tell them what was happening, in case they didn''t already know. He knew from fiction that people would often call police in these moments, but he did not know how. Leaving him with few options.

    He rushed out into the hallway, shouting for them, and into their rooms. But he didn''t find them there. He was now even more worried. He ran back. The interloper might already be in the house. And he had no way to know the relative locations of either the invader or his parents. Could he be sure his parents were even there? He thought about it for a moment. But he didn''t want to back down from bravery now. He cautiously made his way forward, stopping to hide and peek around various corners.

    Eventually, he saw unnatural shapes lying on the ground. And as he slowly snuck closer, he realized that they were his parents. He was worried, thinking they might be dead. So temporarily forgetting the intruder, he rushed forward to check. But as he checked to make sure they were okay, he saw that they didn''t seem to be dead. And they didn''t look particularly injured, although he could not be sure. They seemed like they had been given something to knock them out. So for now, at least they were safe, provided that this was all the intruder intended to do to them. He reflected on the fact that he still felt attached to them, even after realizing they were hurting him.

    But he looked up suddenly from hearing a noise in the next room. The intruder must be in there! He cautiously crept to the door to look in. Inside of it, he could see the figure now, sitting in the dark moonlight, legs crossed on a chair, as if waiting for him. He could have tried to run. But he did not feel he would get far, seeing how quickly they handled trained guards. While he had done some martial arts himself, he would be no match for a trained adult twice his size. Much less one that just incapacitated four guards.

    But he realized something then. He found he did not even want to run. His curiosity at all the mysteries that surrounded him had grown too strong. He felt that the intruder knew something about him and his family. And come what may, he wanted to try to get answers from them. Because he knew now that no one else intended to be honest with him.

    Not even trying to hide or arm himself, he walked slowly into the room, prepared to run back if they made any sudden movements. The figure''s face was in shadow. So he could sense nothing from their expressions. But they did not seem to be tensed, or waiting to jump at him. So he believed he would at least have a chance for a conversation.

    But he wasn''t sure how to even begin such a conversation. He was shy at the best of times. He found himself standing silently there, just looking at the figure. And the figure sat there silently as well, looking back. It was a strange moment. Like a moment of intimacy through an alien situation you had no context for.

    But he couldn''t stand there silent forever. Even if you did not want to speak, he knew you often had to force it. He spoke up.

    ¡°You were... at my birthday party, watching me from the shadows.¡±

    The figure did not respond. He thought about it for a moment, and then went on.

    ¡°You must have been watching me for awhile.

    ¡°...

    ¡°You must know that I''m sick.

    ¡°Did you... are you the one who caused my sickness?¡±

    There was more he wanted to ask. But this was the core of it. He opted to wait for a response before going on.

    ¡°No.¡±

    The voice was altered and had a metallic sheen, so he could not tell much about the one speaking from it.

    But he thought about their short response. He had no reason to trust them to be truthful. But at this point, he wasn''t sure if he could trust anyone. And there were more things he wanted to ask about.

    ¡°I have felt... confused for awhile. Like there are things I don''t understand. I don''t know why there''s things I struggle to remember. I don''t even know how old I am. I don''t know why I am so confused. And this feeling has been growing over time. No one will answer me. No one will help me.¡±

    He stopped himself suddenly. He realized that this was not really a question. And that he would need to turn it into one.

    ¡°Do you... know anything about that?¡±

    The figure leaned back. He could see that they were about to start talking more now.

    ¡°I didn''t. Not before recently. But that is why I am here. I saw that you were in trouble, and I came to offer you a choice.¡±

    Isaac was confused by this. Did he need to be rescued? And by who? He looked at the figure''s back, which had a blade on it. He noticed that, despite having one, they had not drawn it in the courtyard. And so, while they could have killed, they had chosen not to.

    ¡°You have a weapon. You look like you are with some type of organization. Are you... here on a mission?¡±

    The figure looked back at the blade that was over their shoulder, and then back at him.

    ¡°Its true. For the last few years, I have been working with an organization for a particular goal. But I''m not on a mission today. No one sent me here. And no one else knows I am here. It is... just me.¡±

    He looked around quizzically.

    ¡°But why are you here? For me?¡±

    The figure rested on the chair, looking forward coldly with its lack of a face. Slowly, they reached up to pull back their hood. As they did, he could see from the long hair that flowed out that it was a young woman. Adult, but fairly young. Of course, he was not one to judge. He was aware that he didn''t quite understand how age worked. This being of course, the crux of his current problems.

    She looked up and spoke to him.

    ¡°There was something I needed to follow up on.¡±

    He thought about this. Her words did not clarify anything for him. But he felt like he was realizing something else. Something that was difficult to place.

    She spoke again.

    ¡°Don''t worry about the guards or your parents. I only put them to sleep. They will be fine when they wake up.¡±

    It''s true that the fact that she didn''t hurt the guards on the way in made her seem more trustworthy. But that was hardly enough on its own. But now that he could hear her voice clearly, it felt like one he had heard before, long ago.

    He looked at the ground, thinking for awhile. And then back up.

    ¡°You seem... familiar.¡±

    He thought for a moment. He made a face like he was straining to remember.

    "You... remind me of someone.¡±

    He looked at her for a moment and then closed his eyes to think.

    ¡°She was... at my birthday. Many years ago. She said she had no friends. That she was alone and needed company. I showed her around for a week before I had to leave. And she thanked me. She said that it meant a lot.¡±

    The young woman leaned back and smiled faintly, looking at the floor with unfocused eyes.

    ¡°I''ve never forgotten it. Thank you. At the time, I really needed a friend.¡±

    He thought about it further and then looked up at her, confused.

    ¡°That was... you?¡±

    He mulled it over. Her age didn''t seem to make any sense. But he could feel that she was very familiar. And it is true that she did look like an older version of the girl from back then.

    ¡°You are... a lot taller now. We were the same age. Why do you look like a grownup? Did you... age extra fast?¡±

    Her expression turned more negative. But he could see that it was not at him.

    ¡°Well... there is no easy way to tell you this. So I guess I will just jump into it. Forgive me if I am too straightforward. But it is... not me who was aging strangely. It was you. I aged normally. Arguably even slower than normal. In fact, you are actually older than I am. By quite a few years.

    ¡°You have been being artificially kept from aging by your parents. They have been using a dangerously large amount of age suppressants on you. And likely erasing some of your memories as well. These have been taking their toll. This is also the source of your sickness. And if it isn''t stopped, you will likely end up dying from it soon.

    ¡°People can use technology to affect the rate their body ages. But it isn''t meant to be used for more than a small amount. But you have been kept at the same age for over two decades. This started taking its toll on you over time. If it wasn''t stopped, it would only have gotten worse. And you likely would not live much longer.

    ¡°I won''t bother you with the details of how I know this. But I tracked you down a few weeks ago. And I spent some of the time since then digging up this information. What they are doing isn''t strictly speaking legal. So they go to doctors who will keep it underground.¡±

    Isaac listened to this. At first, he couldn''t process what he was hearing. Him, aging oddly? But it had always felt normal to him. Or had it? It used to, but he wasn''t sure anymore.

    ¡°But that can''t be true. I...¡±

    He thought about it. He wasn''t sure he had a reason to trust her. At another time, he likely wouldn''t have. But he could tell that nothing she was saying seemed that odd to him anymore, after what he had discovered today. And he felt shock pulse through him from what he heard as it began to set in. At first, he wasn''t sure if he could believe it. He was about to protest. But instead, he went silent. And he thought back over his life. All the things in it that didn''t add up. Why his parents were always ambiguous about his age. Why he couldn''t stay in one place for long. He began to feel overwhelmed as so many thoughts rushed into his head at once.

    He felt a burst of rage at them. It couldn''t have been anyone else. His parents were always the ones taking him for these injections and appointments. And they didn''t even deny it after all. If this was true, then they were the ones hurting him. But could he really think of them that way? They had always been so positive toward him. Or at least, they had in the past. Recently, they had begun to get more aggressive, as his questioning had raised more about the discrepancies he had noticed.

    He held his head, shaking. Many thoughts and feelings were rushing into it at once. Anger at what happened to him. Sadness for the situation he found himself in. He realized he should maybe feel gratitude now for having been finally told what was going on. But it was hard to feel anything positive in the moment.

    He thought about other kids aging past him without him and leaving him behind. How in order to keep his age secret, this was likely why him and his parents would have had to move around so that no one could see that it never changed. Which is also likely why he was never given a particularly good reason for needing to do so. He strained to remember just how many years had passed in his life, and began to realize that he could easily tell that it didn''t add up when placed under scrutiny. And that this knowledge was, after all, only confirming his suspicions.

    He began to feel hate towards his parents. He was realizing now why they were getting more suspicious over time. Answering less questions. Making up more lies. All just to keep him from ever becoming a teenager. Much less an adult.

    But ultimately, he slumped down, no longer willing to protest. Too worn out to feel strongly any longer.

    ¡°But why? Why would they do this to me? I always loved them. I always cared about them.¡±

    The woman looked at him with sympathetic eyes.

    ¡°It''s hard to say. But I could hazard a guess.

    ¡°There are a lot of people who can''t handle the idea of their children growing up. Many will try to keep them acting young by preventing them from interacting with the world. Because they can''t handle the feelings of their children growing apart from them. And they prefer the image of them as pure and innocent. They don''t want to think of them getting into a relationship and their affection shifting from their parents towards someone else.

    ¡°But... in this case, your parents took it even further. It looks like it became an obsession for them. And they wanted not only to keep you acting young but for you to physically stay young forever. Even though the human body isn''t designed for this. Doing so can''t indefinitely prolong your lifespan. It will strain it, and could even lead to you dying early. Your parents might even know this and be okay with that. Because of their odd priorities.¡±

    Isaac looked down sadly, thinking of the doctors'' notes he had seen, which he now understood were talking about this, and realizing that he was going to have to see his parents in a new light. He was still a little hesitant to accept what he was hearing. But he figured that it was likely to validate itself in time. He thought about the fact that, over time, it started seeming like he was mentally older than the people he played with. But he just chalked it up to him being a good learner.

    And it hit him now what it means to lose something for good. That this was time he could never get back. His entire life having a large chunk of adulthood potentially just sliced out of it entirely.

    ¡°I spent so long fantasizing about growing up. What I could do. Who I would be. But they took all of that away from me.

    ¡°I had so many friends I wish I could have kept. But I just accepted that I couldn''t. That I had to move around and leave them behind. I often wondered what they were doing after we moved. Assuming that they were still my age. But I suppose that most of them are adults now.¡±

    He hung his head and began crying faintly, rubbing his eyes.

    ¡°They all moved on without me. And here I am, still a child.¡±

    The woman walked over to him, crouched down, and put her hand on his head.

    ¡°Not all. I am here. And I am here for you.

    ¡°You were there for me in my darkest times. And I am here now to repay the favor.¡±

    She stayed there, comforting him for a moment while he sobbed. But after a time, she got up and walked over to the window to look out of it. The moonlight reflected off of her eyes, making them glow like sharp points.

    ¡°Let me tell you something. Something I have never told anyone else.¡±

    She paused a bit to think before going on.

    ¡°When I was young, around the age you met me, I was suicidal. Every day, I fantasized about what it would be like to fade away. To not have to continue on in the life I found myself. Eventually I even went on to try to kill myself for real.

    ¡°I didn''t think I had anything to live for or to look forward to because of the way I was raised. I couldn''t even connect to other people because I didn''t really understand empathy. It was just a word to me; I couldn''t really feel it.

    ¡°But...¡±

    She looked back at him.

    ¡°I always looked up to you.

    ¡°From what I saw of you, you were always empathetic and caring. Resilient to the things that could drag you down. You were all the things I wished I could be but which I couldn''t find in myself. Although we did not know each other for long, I always valued the time we spent together. And I believe that it helped me learn what it was like to care about other people. To want to be strong for them.

    ¡°You might feel like you had everything stripped from you. In a way, it is true. They took time from you that you can never get back. For a time, you may hate them. Maybe forever.

    ¡°But... this is not the end. You can''t change the past, but that doesn''t mean the future is decided. Falling happens to everyone. But your life is defined not by how you fall, but by how you fight to rise up again.¡±

    She knelt one leg back down on the floor.

    ¡°I looked up to you then. And... if you believe in yourself... you could become someone that people look up to again.¡±

    She shook her head.

    ¡°I won''t force you to come with me. If you want, you can stay here and live out the rest of whatever life they offer you. But if you want to be free, if you want to see where else life can take you... then I will be there to help you when you take your first stumbling steps.¡±

    He was still sniffling and rubbing his eyes. But he looked up and smiled slightly back at her.

    ¡°I always wanted to be someone who people who had problems could rely on. Do you really believe I still could? After everything?¡±

    She held out a hand to him.

    ¡°I always believed in you, Isaac. I always will.¡±

    He looked up. And after wiping away his tears, he took her hand and climbed to his feet.

    They started walking out of the room. But he stopped and looked up at her.

    ¡°Do you... still want to be friends?¡±

    She looked back down and smiled.

    ¡°I''ve always wanted to be friends.¡±

    <hr>

    My name is Isaac. Today is my birthday. I want to make sure everyone has a good time. I know I plan to. I am shy, so I don''t really like being the center of attention. But I can make an exception for birthdays.

    I have to move around often on account of my parents. It is unfortunate, but it is life, I suppose. Aside from this, I don''t have much to complain about. But I know that others do. I want to be able to help them. When I grow up, I want to be someone who helps a lot of people! I don''t really know what I mean by that. Not yet. But I have time to find out.

    Looking around, I can see that people look like they are having fun. All but one person, that is. Out on the corner of the balcony, there is a girl standing there quietly, looking like she is crying and trying to hide it. I know her from school. I invited her here because I saw her sitting by herself yesterday and felt like she could use a friend. But I don''t remember her name.

    I walked over to speak with her. She looked shy as well.

    ¡°Hello. What is your name?¡±

    She looked quietly at me, like she wasn''t used to being spoken to, and was embarrassed to be seen crying. She responded while rubbing her eyes.

    "Hi, I''m Xiu... I''m... I''m Mei.¡±

    ¡°Are you okay, Mei? You look sad.¡±

    She hesitated before speaking but seemed to be relieved that she wasn''t being judged.

    ¡°Sorry. For crying at your birthday, I mean. I''m not used to being around people I don''t know. I''ve never had any friends my own age.¡±

    I was dismayed at hearing this. It is always a sad thing when you have to move on from friends you know. Even if you do find new ones. But I had never heard of someone who had no friends before. I had never even considered such a thing.

    I looked down sadly at hearing this. I felt like my world was expanded and that I learned something new in that moment. Something I wasn''t sure I wanted to know. But no matter! Maybe this means she could understand my situation better then. Because I understand that not everyone has to move. And so most people can keep the same friends longer than I.

    I stood next to her and looked off the balcony.

    ¡°Its okay. I am shy myself because I never get to know people for very long and always have to meet new people. I am going to have to move again soon. So sorry, we won''t be able to spend much time together.¡±

    I turned around to wag my finger at her.

    ¡°But you can be my guest of honor for today.¡±

    She looked a little embarrassed. Like she wasn''t sure she wanted to be the center of attention. But that''s okay. I will make sure she doesn''t have to talk to more people than she is okay with. I don''t know what she is feeling. But I know that I can help.

    She looked back at me and smiled weakly.

    ¡°Thank you. I saw you at school. I always thought you seemed nice. And that it would have been nice to be friends. But I don''t really talk to anyone. So I didn''t think I could.¡±

    I looked down, sadly. I thought about how I would be moving soon, so I couldn''t be long-term friends with her. But I still had a couple days. So I wanted to see if I could make her happy before then. I would try to spend every day with her.

    I looked off in the distance, thinking of all the friends I had left behind. Would I ever see them again? When I was a grownup?

    I looked back at her and smiled.

    ¡°I might not have much time. But maybe we will meet again. In another life.¡±

    She smiled back, stronger now.

    ¡°I would like that.¡±

    We sat in silence for awhile. Sometimes, there is nothing that needs to be said. It was a bittersweet moment. But who can say what the future holds?

    We got up and went back inside.

    <hr>

    Isaac piloted the helicopter low over the resort. In the years since Mei had rescued him, he had started to look a little older. But while his mind was faster to catch up in some ways (at least academic ones) on account of him having lived so long already, his body had not done so quite so quickly. And so, to avoid concerns over standing out in a facility such as the midnight sun, he had opted to take on a role for this mission where he would not enter the building directly, instead being a weapons dropoff and sniper backup. But this was not a large deal. Since for this mission, most of them were just functioning as a distraction to give her a chance to get deeper inside to the more protected areas.

    He had not been working with the techno-gnostics for very long. Despite his nominal age, they had concerns over his initial demeanor due to him being held back. But he had already known so much due to his years of study that he quickly gained the required knowledge, and so had visibly the appearance of being a young prodigy, even though the truth was rather stranger.

    Understanding now the position of importance that Mei held for the Great Work, he felt a sense of pride, knowing that there was a time when she looked up to him. She had surpassed him since then, on account of everything. But that was no matter. For now, he had a chance to look up to her as well. And he felt lucky that he had a chance to work with her, seeing her like the older sister that he never had ¨C the type of family that would care for him for real, unlike that he had left behind.

    He picked up the headset.

    ¡°Mei, where are you at?¡±

 10: The Sea of Possibility

    There is no rest for the wicked. While the techno-gnostics had been in a state of tension against the temple for time out of mind, things were now coming more to a head. They were beginning to prepare for the final push, as they believed that they were getting close to the ultimate development of the white lotus. So while they had done several missions in the last few weeks, including the retrieval of the midnight sun, they were already once again at work.

    The final preparations for the current mission were now underway. Isaac was put in charge of both locating the pathway to the ouroborous as well as opening the ether bridge. Although he had only been with the techno-gnostics for a short period, in the past, he had a lot of books and time to study the ether network, and so he obtained quite a large knowledge of it theoretically, even if at the time not yet practically. So, applying this knowledge, once he obtained access, he quickly became an expert at maneuvering it. And so, in short order, had become quite proficient at it.

    The ether network was the practical aspect of the Noosphere. Using an ether drive, you could manipulate the ether flow in order to do certain things, like interact with an esoteric space. It was however, by its nature, unpredictable. It was possible in theory to use the ether network to do things like generate a kind of explosion or other tangible esotericisms, but the truth is that it was not very practical to do so most of the time. Since there are few situations in which even most skilled users are going to find it more convenient to do this as a weapon rather than simply using a gun. And you might get some strange looks if you were to try.

    But as Isaac himself was very adept at using it, he was a useful partner to help Mei on missions now to cover these more esoteric needs, as well as often providing gun backup. Although for this mission as he was necessary to control the link from the outside, he would not be able to follow her in. So they set up a place to establish a link in a safe house, and many others were there with them as defense. Because they were going to need it.

    Mei was laying on the table, waiting for transfer. Isaac stood over her, holding the tablet. Isaac was much shorter than Mei, being rather small and effeminate. He always spoke with a soft voice and was often very skittish, although he could be matter of fact when he needed to.

    ¡°As you know, the ouroborous compass isn''t even located within our universe. It will be difficult to scope the sea of possibility in order to establish a link for adjusting it. Since it is not even being done in real space. You will, in essence, be being transferred to a constructed space. It could be dangerous for you if our link is broken.

    "However, the space looks to be unstable now. So we will likely only have one shot at this. Once we establish the link, if we don''t see it through, we won''t get another chance, since it will likely cause the space to destabilize. And if that happens, we won''t have a way to interface with the compass.

    ¡°It is going to take a lot of ether to establish the connection. Most likely, if we use this much, the temple will notice basically right away. So once you are in, you will be on your own. Since we are almost certainly going to get attacked fairly quickly after establishing it.

    ¡°If we have to abandon this location, the bridge will likely collapse with it. And if this happens, there is a chance you will be trapped or worse, unless we can re-establish the connection. In essence, we will have to play it by ear.¡±

    He looked at his tablet.

    ¡°We have some time though, still, before we are ready. Maybe fifteen minutes.¡±

    Mei stared at the ceiling.

    ¡°I see.¡±

    Some other people were coming in and out of the room, nervously looking out the window. There wouldn''t be anyone out there since they hadn''t yet established the link. But being in such a situation naturally put some people on edge. They knew what was coming, even if not when.

    Isaac sat back, fidgeting nervously and dropping his more serious demeanor.

    ¡°This mission is dangerous. You really shouldn''t be the one going in.¡±

    Mei looked up, staring into the ceiling.

    ¡°It being dangerous is why it has to be me. Because I am the only one who can.¡±

    Isaac made a sad expression.

    ¡°You don''t sound like you are saying that with much of a sense of pride.¡±

    She looked over at him blankly.

    ¡°Pride? It''s not like I am the way I am because I alone got here with radical libertarian free will and my own determination. In a sense, I was born this way. Many expend just as much effort as me. But they will never be able to do the things I can. It''s not because I am superior in any kind of moral sense. It''s just the roll of the dice.¡±

    She closed her eyes.

    ¡°You could say that purpose is a prison of its own. I do this because I must.¡±

    He looked at her sadly.

    ¡°But you chose your own life. You are here because you chose to be. You didn''t have to come this far.¡±

    She thought about it.

    ¡°That''s true. But it was the only choice I could have made. Perhaps even your will is predetermined. If I didn''t do this, many people would have been abandoned and left to suffer. If no one else can do this, then it is me who would be leaving them to die.¡±

    She looked at him.

    ¡°Could you abandon them?¡±

    He looked away in shame because he knew he couldn''t.

    He thought about how there is a certain difficulty in admiring someone for what they do when what they do is dangerous. Because it creates a paradox where you are afraid to lose them. But if they weren''t in this danger, they would never have been the person you are afraid to lose.

    It reminded him of another story he had heard recently relating to the group that was operating out of the midnight sun. About the death of a techno-gnostic named Julius Kai in the process of retrieving the Epinoia key. And how this was what drove his friend, the breakaway Weihong, crazy, leading him to start this borderline death cult.

    Isaac thought about what it would be like if Mei were to die. He was with the techno-gnostics in part to help people. But also, in part, to be closer to her. Could he handle staying if she wasn''t there anymore? Would he go crazy too if he saw her die in front of him?

    Isaac didn''t have any romantic feelings towards Mei. And not just because of the fact that his inclinations leaned in the opposite direction. But because he viewed her more like an older sister. This being besides the fact that he was technically older than her, even if his mind and body didn''t show it. It was a kind of perhaps overly obsessive relationship based on what she meant for him, and what she did for him in the past. Perhaps not entirely healthy. But then again, who is?

    ¡°I''m just saying. I feel like you don''t take good enough care of yourself.¡±

    She held her arm up.

    ¡°I take care of myself. I... ate a salad today.¡±

    He made a deflated face.

    ¡°That''s not what I...

    ¡°...

    ¡°What was in the salad?¡±

    Mei looked suddenly caught and looked away to avoid meeting his eyes.

    ¡°Um... health. Healthy stuff.¡±

    ¡°What type of salad was it, Mei?¡±

    She waved her arm.

    ¡°Let''s move on.¡±

    He sat in silence for awhile. Like there was something else he wanted to bring up, but was worried about doing so openly. Mei didn''t normally talk like this. But this wasn''t the only self-depreciating thing she had done lately.

    ¡°But... for real. I... saw what you did the other day.

    ¡°I saw you notice a guard take a swing at you with a knife. You looked, and when you noticed that it wouldn''t be a lethal stab wound, you didn''t move. I know you had time to.¡±

    Mei, still looking away from him, was silent. He continued on.

    ¡°I''m sorry. I didn''t mean to notice. But... I know what you were doing. Do you... want to talk about it?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    He looked away sadly. And they both sat there, feeling a bit awkward. After a pause, she looked back at him.

    ¡°Do you... trust me?¡±

    He spoke back with a soft voice.

    ¡°Mei, I would follow you to the ends of the earth.

    ¡°But sorry. I don''t always trust your judgment.¡±

    She looked back up at the ceiling.

    ¡°Good. Because my judgment is not always correct.¡±

    He leaned back.

    ¡°Mei, you''re not alone anymore. You have people who care about you too. And you should also make sure to care about yourself. I just... I worry sometimes. About you.¡±

    She closed her eyes without looking back at him.

    ¡°I know. Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind.¡±

    ¡°Is this because... it''s getting closer to the time where you will have to confront your family?¡±

    ¡°...Yes.¡±

    ¡°Well. When I had to do the same, there was someone there for me. So if you need anything, just know that there is also someone there for you.

    "You''ve been preparing this for a long time. And we will soon be entering the final stretch. But I am glad to be here with you. As you begin the march to the final battle.¡±

    She thought about it for a moment. And then looked at him and smiled.

    ¡°Thank you. It means a lot.

    She closed her eyes once more to lean back.

    ¡°Maybe this is fate. In the end, you are the one who has to look out for me once again.¡±

    ¡°No. I do this because I choose to. And because... good lord, you aren''t good at doing it for yourself.

    ¡°Heh. Maybe so.¡±

    He held up the beeper as it started going off. And signaled to the teams in the other room.

    ¡°Okay, it''s time.¡±

    Mei looked up to the ceiling, determined.

    ¡°Punch it.¡±

    <hr>

    Streams of light rushed past Mei as she fell through the tunnel, feeling a rush of wind and a swirl of colors engulfing her. The tunnel itself was a construct made from tessellations of light to provide a path resembling normal space leading into the esoteric space on the other side. But despite this, the tunnel itself was not true space and did not share all of its properties.

    She looked out the side of the tunnel. Out beyond the luminescent walls, you could see into the abstractions beyond the three-dimensional universe. This was the sea of possibility. The primordial nature of Tian, which consists of all the potentialities of existence for actual occasions. As it moved past, it morphed through shapes that, to a limited human mind, were beyond comprehension, as thin tendrils of color and shapes akin to mathematical abstraction twisted and moved in flux. For beyond this barrier was that which was never designed to be traversed by living entities. For a brief moment, she felt she could see the aspects of the extradimensional expanse which intersected into a compactified form, giving rise to limited three-dimensional reality.

    But... maybe it was just her imagination.

    Time began to lose linear meaning. She checked her counter quickly as she fell, only to see that it could not be read. For time was moving not merely forward but sideways in a way that defied measurement by human instruments. The speed of her movement was no longer definable in human terms. It was because of this that the journey would be perilous. For it was going to be no easy task to traverse through the tunnel from here on out, especially without your feet on solid footing.

    But they had predicted this. An immediate concern was that time moving perpendicular to the normal flow risked pulling her in. And if this happened, then, from the sea of possibility, what might come out on the other side may end up bearing no resemblance to her standard self, ending as a scramble of inert, unmanifested abstraction. She tilted backwards against the flow, balancing her velocity against it. And as she did, she could see the silhouetted images flow off of her of the endless possibilities of time. Tesselating realities of the different paths her life could have taken.

    There was no distance to the depth you can see from the tunnel, for this path did not operate by the rules of normal space. So though it pained her, and against her better judgment, she looked off into the end of infinity to see a possibility where her life had contained less of the pain that she knew so well. This possibility being a world where her family had loved her. In such a world, she may have never picked up a sword. And she would have been at peace. Seeing this, she reached out for it inadvertently. But then she hesitated. It wasn''t real. It was only an illusion. But there was something more. In this possible world, there was no one to fill her role. Isaac was never saved. There was no one to carry them forward to the final battle. She nodded to herself in realization and then leaned back, pulling these out of view.

    But she did not have time to rest. For the tunnel was quickly breaking and filling with cross bars that cracked across its fabricated space. She quickly tilted to the side to avoid running into these. But they spread in all directions, for the abstract dimensionality of the tunnel made it so that its linear path did not look like a single direction. She tilted back and forth between these barriers, which, if she bumped into them, most likely pull her out of the tunnel entirely and into the abstract brane space from which there could be no return.

    She leaned forward, feeling like she was on fire. The tunnel was shaking. And she needed to get to the end before it spun her out into the void. But ultimately, she broke through. And in time, she came out the other side. And landed in something that looked closer to normal space.

    She stood up to get her bearings and look around. She was met with shock as she did so. They did not entirely know what to expect from the simulated spacetime that surrounded the ouroborous. For although it was hypothesized to have an analogue of one, it was assumed that it would be composed of wholly alien structures that bore no resemblance to the human world, being composed of just a mishmash of meaningless data that she would have to structure into an interface.

    But what she found was not like that at all, looking more like the ruins of a large city. One not unlike one that would be seen in the human world. But the sky was pitch black, having no moon or stars within it. Giving the sky an appearance almost like a low ceiling or depth of water. The city too had little in the way of lights still operating within it, looking like most of what had been there had run down and fizzled out.

    But what made the city come off as ruins did not appear to be on account of age. For it looked more like large chunks of the reality had simply faded away. Large portions of the ground were gone. Not exactly a hole, but simply void. And what little remained of the land and buildings looked as if it were dissolving, trailing listlessly into the starless sky.

    And it was quiet. Deathly quiet. One could tell at a glance that there was no life here. Whatever reflection of normal life might have spawned here was long gone. For the world no longer had the capacity to sustain it. It was conferred only to the dark reaches of memory. Or perhaps not even memory. For there was no one here to remember it.

    Mei thought about this. And she felt sad. She was here outside the bounds of reality. But it seemed like there were, at one time, real people living here. And they must not have been here long. Just the blink of an eye. They must have seen their small, self-contained world ending, yet been unable to do anything about it. And whenever it happened, there was no one else who knew about them enough to save them. Would it have even been possible had anyone known? Or was their existence region-locked to this abstract space in a way that would not have allowed them to traverse to the normal universe?

    Either way, it didn''t matter now. It was too late. They were all gone.

    There was an idle fountain in front of her that had run dry. On top of it was some kind of statue. But it felt nondescript. Like the type of thing you might see in a dream or a machine attempt to recreate art. She wondered if this was built by the actual denizens of the place. Or whether it was some type of phantasm that emerged wholesale when the space did. Maybe the question had no meaning. For if the people and the space are one, it becomes a paradox of causality where the origin point of the endless cycle cannot be defined.

    She felt lonely. She was perhaps further now in a sense than any human had ever been. Even if only by a technicality. But she felt a bit guilty for feeling this way, standing on the graves of countless people who had it worse than she. And she could see now that there were various shapes on the ground around her, like abstractions. They looked like glitched bodies. The remnants of a world that had forgotten its own internal logic as it started to break down.

    Lonely...

    That reminded her that she was here for a purpose. She didn''t have time to sight-see. She tuned her radio frequency to the metrics they were going to use for communication. Even though she wasn''t in normal space, they could still communicate through the link if they knew what frequencies they were going to use. That, at least, was one thing they still had going for them.

    She put her fingers up to the side of her head.

    ¡°Come in, Isaac. I arrived okay. Just barely.¡±

    She waited for a response. But it was long in coming. Since this was a timed activity, she would have to move forward even if there was no response. Although that would make it much more difficult if she lacked more precise instructions on what to do.

    <hr>

    Isaac walked to the window. Now that Mei was on the other side, there was nothing to do in the immediate interval until she checked in or until they got attacked. There was a small chance that their activities would go unnoticed, and the temple guards would not come at all. But he knew better. The guards may take some time to collect before rushing. But they would be here. The best they could hope for is to hold them off. Or possibly that Mei returns before the guards even got here, and they could abandon the area, leading the guards to rush into an empty building.

    They chose a secluded building for this in the hopes no one else would be caught in the crossfire. But they were still in the city. The temple would not risk nuking a building that was so overtly visible. And it is unlikely they would want to anyway, because they most likely would want to take the portal to get access to the ouroborous. They would likely only turn more aggressive and try to take everything down if they realized they were not going to get a chance to reach it themselves.

    Outside the window, the streets looked still. He walked back to take a look at the instruments. Everything looked normal. So he walked out to the stairwell to talk to Captain Jack.

    At the stairwell, he looked down. They had several people stationed on each floor at various points to make an ascent difficult for any potential invaders. Doing this several floors up was theoretically sketchy, but it did afford more possible avenues of escape if it came to it. Although a more accurate way to phrase the coming events would likely be when it came to it.

    Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

    Captain Jack was out, standing next to the rail with his arms crossed. Isaac went out to lean on it.

    ¡°Anything yet?¡±

    ¡°We don''t have anything. Right now, it''s just a waiting game.¡±

    Jack shot him a sly grin.

    ¡°How about you, though? Have you been getting out there?¡±

    Isaac acted flustered. Jack was trying to ask him about dating. In truth, Isaac hadn''t felt okay dating before recently. On account of his stunted aging, Isaac looked and acted much younger than he was, coming off as effeminate and barely adult. He often said that it was a strange feeling, feeling like you were both too old and too young for someone at the same time.

    ¡°Well, the people I talked to do tend to seem a little weirded out when they realize I am technically older than them. But I suppose that there is probably someone who will like it.¡±

    He sighed.

    ¡°Although... there is the other matter. What we do is dangerous. It feels like it would be dishonest to not clarify that I might just vanish one day. Die suddenly, and they never hear from me again. Come and go. Disappear into the void.

    ¡°But of course, one can''t be too clear on that matter either, for secrecy. But I suppose I don''t have to explain all that to you. It''s just that I don''t feel good having secrets. You know?¡±

    Jack took the cigarette out of his mouth.

    ¡°Some people choose to stay disconnected. But there can be a sense of hypocrisy in this if you don''t advocate it for others. Just be warned; most people might not like it if more of your life is dedicated to something other than them.¡±

    Isaac thought to himself.

    ¡°Other than them...¡±

    He thought this over. There is a dark side to living a life that can make normal relationships difficult. It can come with a sense of isolation. And this is only compounded when you are already someone looking for a type of relationship that is still viewed negatively by many in society, even if it is getting better.

    But he didn''t have long to think. An explosion rang out on one of the floors. He looked at it confused for a moment before realizing that the intruders weren''t even coming from the bottom but had managed a surprise attack by quickly bridging the wall to the building next door. They had lookouts, but they must have managed to establish the bridge in mere seconds.

    The soldiers down on the third floor began retreating upwards. Isaac and Jack quickly pulled out their assembled sniper rifles to provide cover. But before they could easily react, the third floor was quickly overrun, and the guards held up shields to block bullets from higher up as they began picking off people on lower floors from above. If the people on lower floors ran out, it would likely be into an ambush, wouldn''t it?

    He thought this over quickly. No, it couldn''t be an ambush. Since they were doing a sneak attack, they likely expected people to think there were guards outside. But there couldn''t be, since that would have given them away.

    He pulled back and ran over to Jack.

    ¡°They should evacuate beneath it and bring down the third floor. With no stairs, they will have a difficult time getting up higher. And they already gave away their trick. We can drop the floor without risking dropping the higher ones.¡±

    Jack quickly looked over the edge. He was skeptical of this plan, but he tended to defer to Isaac. He radioed it in.

    Isaac watched as the bottom floor members scattered and set off the lower explosives. The floor caved in, and with it, a lot of temple guards got caught, and it looked like they were now struggling to figure out how to get up the stairs amidst the crossfire. This would buy them some time.

    But his heart sank slightly. Because the guards had mobile spider tanks with them, that quickly skittered past the fallen rubble. While larger spider tanks were built for defense, these ones were built for mobility. Some made a leap across the fallen stairwell and then shot back a harpoon that could be used to create a new bridge. Isaac tried to pick them off before this bridge could become useful. But they had shields to hold up, blocking his bullets. A vibro saber would be able to cut through them easily, but he was not Mei. He didn''t trust himself to be able to get over there and cut them down by hand. And she wasn''t here to help them.

    But he needed to buy time. The guards were already climbing the cords. So Isaac ran over, dodging the fire from the tanks, and slid to the edge of the stairwell. He didn''t have an explosive on him, but he used the ether drive to call an explosion up and drop the edge of the stairwell. As the edge collapsed, the spider tanks lost their footing and fell with it. He looked down as the tanks fell, hoping that they would get crushed on the bottom. But he could see that only two of them did, and so this wouldn''t buy that much time. He ducked and rushed back before he was back in the line of fire.

    Captain Jack slowly moved over to him, shooting over the edge.

    ¡°Call it. Do we hold, or go?¡±

    Isaac looked down, hesitating. If they close the portal, they might never be able to rescue Mei and would lose the ouroborous. But if they stay, they might all die. He wondered if there was a third option. But if so, he had to find it quickly.

    <hr>

    Mei played with her scanner radar to try to pin down the ouroborous'' intersection location. The coordinates were calculated ahead of time, so she shouldn''t be too far from it. But it couldn''t be precise, and so it would take a bit of walking.

    She was already near the edge of the city proper, bordering on what looked like an industrial district. And the radar was taking her deeper in. Much of the ground was gone now, and so it took some clever footwork at times to avoid falling out of the constructed space entirely. All around were dead bodies. Or things that looked like dead bodies, at least. Many had an abstract shape, as if the moment of death made the logic of the world begin to break down, and it was nothing but their minds sustaining it.

    With no stars, the whole city was now dark, with only a few neon outside lights still working to light it. So she had to rely on her own light. This might give away her location if anyone was there. But for the moment, there was no life in the entire world. Finding that there were bodies of people here made her wonder if there would be any still alive. But at this point, it seems that they were all long dead. But they were stationary there in time, as with their passing, time had stopped, and so the world did not keep turning, waiting only to fade away.

    She got a call on her radio finally. She had wondered when that would happen. And she had been slightly concerned that they would not be able to make contact. She tuned in.

    ¡°M... We had to.. ab....on... ¡­......ard.... ¡­ af... ¡­...... cove.. your face.¡±

    ¡°Hello? Are you there?¡±

    She couldn''t get a good read. But the radio went dead once again. And she knew that she was likely to be on her own for awhile.

    But that''s not all. She got the message. They had to abandon the portal, but it was still open. She covered her face and turned around. As she did, the portal shifted and was redirected closer to her. And out from it landed five temple guards. Or, rather, five living ones. For alongside them, several bodies fell. And she suspected that more than five had entered the portal on the other side.

    One of them was looking around, dazed and confused. One of the others tried to shake them to get their attention. But they seemed non-responsive.

    But there was no time to think about that. They had noticed Mei. And so the four soldiers left behind the one and started to chase after her. She shut off her light and switched to night vision. It wasn''t safe to walk around a place like this with no light, but she didn''t want them to be able to trace her using it.

    She thought about the number of guards. Even though they were elite fighers, four would not be impossible to swing in a fight. But this wasn''t a place she wanted to risk it. And the larger issue was that, for all she knew, more would quickly be coming. So she ran. Hoping that at the very least this would cause them to be separated, making them easier to pick off one at a time if it came to it.

    Bullets sped by her. She drew her gun and shot back to keep them from advancing further. Their exoskeletons would likely prevent the bullets from doing much damage at long range. But they still wouldn''t be eager to take the shots head-on. And they would likely be able to tell quickly that they were dealing with someone who was a decent shot. Even though she needed to keep herself unknown to them.

    She got another radio message. This time, more clear.

    ¡°Mei, are you there? We had to abandon the location. There were too many of them.¡±

    She ducked behind a barrier and shot over it.

    ¡°Little busy. But yeah, I heard you. Stay in touch if you can.¡±

    ¡°Most of them didn''t follow us. We are fighting the last ones off, but they were more interested in the barrier. We left the barrier open, hoping the remainder would get caught inside. Be careful.¡±

    She had some distance between her and the guards now, and it looked like one of them was damaged enough that they stopped following. Although unfortunately for her, she saw two more now in the distance, implying that more guards were spewing in. Her plan to pick them off slowly would not be as useful when it was possible they were replenishing themselves at a rate faster than she could fight. And if she sustained any injury that slowed her down too much, it would likely all be over.

    She turned forward again to run ahead, but then stopped dead in her tracks. For what was in front of her was like nothing she had ever seen. Its shape defied understanding, and while it looked like it was some kind of living entity, its nature didn''t seem to conform to the logic of normal space, having long tendrils sticking out of it at angles that seemed impossible.

    ¡°W-what is that? Is that a demon of Sakras?¡±

    She quickly sent a scan back to Isaac.

    ¡°What exactly am I looking at?¡±

    There was a short gap before he responded.

    ¡°Um... I don''t. I don''t think that is related to Sakras.¡±

    There was a pause.

    ¡°In fact... there doesn''t seem to be anything like it on record. What.. what exactly is that thing?¡±

    ¡°That''s what I was trying to ask you!¡±

    She wasn''t sure what to do, being confronted now by something wholly alien and unexpected. She wasn''t clear if her weapons would even hurt it. But she realized suddenly that she had forgotten, in her stupor, the advance of the guards. She turned around as they ran up, but they paused, just as shocked as she was. They shot in her direction as she dove out of the way. The unknown screeched loudly, with a sound unlike that of any living creature. And it started bounding toward the guards. They fired at it. But the bullets seemed to have no effect.

    It lurched towards them and swatted one of them headlong into the wall, smashing them into it and killing them instantly. The other two saw that their bullets were useless and backed off. It turned to Mei to swat at her, but she took out her vibro-saber, slashing at the tendril. The tendril seemed to phase out, but then another was restored in its place. She wasn''t sure if this was actually hurting it. But she didn''t want to stay to find out. She backed out of the opening to run around it.

    She put her hand to her head.

    ¡°It''s not from the temple. It was attacking the guards.¡±

    ¡°Well, we have no way to find out what it even is. So try to stay away from it. It might be vulnerable to ether, but that space is unstable, so it might be dangerous to use it since it could collapse the space.¡±

    But as she saw down the ledge, suddenly a shocking sight sprawled before her. Because quite a few more temple guards had gotten in. But they were now no longer able to chase her. For whatever the unknown creature was, there seemed to be more than one of them now. And the guards themselves were in a full-on battle with them. She wasn''t sure if this was a curse or a blessing. But she didn''t have time to wait and consider this. An unknown bounded towards her from behind, and she dove and held up her blade to run along it. It stumbled and fell over the edge as she kept running along it.

    Two of the guards raised their guns to shoot at her as she ducked behind the wall and turned to enter the target building. But on account of being attacked from both sides, she did not have time to dodge both shots. A bullet pierced slightly through her, spurting some blood in the opposite direction. Feeling this, she looked at her jacket, annoyed that she would have to fix the hole in it. If she survived, that was.

    On the outside of the facility housing the ouroborous compass there were two dead bodies. But the bodies did not seem to be related to the guards and were already there before their arrival, denizens of this esoteric space. But she did not have long to notice them, because at this point several unknowns were bearing down on her. She ran inside, leaving behind a last message.

    ¡°I''m entering the containment zone. Will likely be going dark for the moment.¡±

    This was the place. The link to the ouroborous had to be somewhere in here. But she would still have to find its exact location. She ran through the corridors, dark and winding. The unknowns followed behind her, moving closer. When possible, she dropped anything she could find into their path to slow them down, but it never seemed to hold them for long. Buying her only a few short moments in each instance.

    She had considered earlier the possibility of getting too swarmed and needing to retreat. But she had come too far. With the swarm bearing down on her, the only way she could move was forward. It would be no easier to turn around at this point to try to move backwards through an unknown amount of an unknown enemy. One you can''t even comprehend, much less easily deal with.

    She came to the central vertical corridor of the facility. This should lead down to the core if its structure followed reason. But as it was a phenomenal construct that was a mere reflection of reality, this could not be guaranteed. It being akin to a mishmash of structures from the real world, assembled at random. She looked back. She could run down the stairs, but with the unknowns still behind her, she needed to cut down on time. She needed a faster means of descent. She thought for a moment and then stepped back to take a running jump off the ledge.

    She drew her vibro-saber and lodged it into the wall on the far side so that she could use it to slowly drag her down the wall, like a knife through paper. This made her start descending the corridor as if being lowered. The unknowns screamed behind her. She drew her gun and shot in their direction, causing them to flutter and morph, and temporarily take a step back.

    She kicked off of the wall when lower down. They might take some time to get down from the higher level if they were confused about where she went. But she still didn''t have time to mess around. She could see now that she was likely at the final corridor leading to the core. So she walked up to it. It had blast doors, but these were no match for a vibro-saber in the hands of a good user. She slashed them out of the way and left them behind her as burning rubble.

    She walked down the last corridor hesitatingly. While the rest of the facility had no power and was deep in darkness, the room at the end of the lowest basement was well lit. On arriving at the end she could do nothing but stare in amazement. For the core itself was merged with an unknown that had grown giant from drawing energy from it. While the facility was too faded into the void to have power, within the core itself was the compass, glowing brightly, with the tendrils of the creature emanating off of it.

    She was caught now between the creature before her and the ones closing in behind her. She didn''t know if she even had anything that could hurt them, but she didn''t have long to figure out how. Because there was only a single path backwards, and it would quickly become a problem to retreat if she had no safe means to fight against the things that would be coming along it.

    The creature screeched at her, swiping at her, and she barely dove out of the way. She took out her gun and shot into it several times, but it had no effect. She turned to the ouroborous and shot at it to see if it could be dislodged, but the bullets faded into the body of the creature. She wasn''t sure the blade was useful either. But she would have to come up with something soon.

    She looked back down the hallway. The unknowns were were at the bottom level now and finally coming down it after her. Soon they would be in the room, and she would be trapped on both ends. Looking up, she decided that there was only one thing she could do. She would have to make a leap of faith. She backed up. And as the unknowns bore down on her and were about to grab her from behind, she ran and jumped up towards the ouroborous. As she flew through the air, the arms of the creatures reached for her, but she slashed at them with her blade, causing them to back off. She drove her sword into the reactor and flipped up on it to grab the ouroborous link, activating it. She had no way to know what would happen, but it was her only option now.

    As the ouroborous lit up, rays of light spread across the room. As the light grew more intense, pulsating with energy, she felt it envelop her. The creatures hissed and recoiled at the brilliance. She looked at them, hoping this would be enough to get rid of them. In whatever means getting rid of them might entail.

    Suddenly, the reactor beneath her began to hum, with its sound echoing through the room. She could feel the vibrations through her feet, and the air around her began to shimmer. She could sense that the compass had started to rotate, as esoteric symbols for it appeared in tangible space, the movement of which conferred that the ouroborous itself was rotating.

    The room began to shift, the walls warping and bending as if reality itself were being rewritten. She clung to the reactor, her knuckles straining with the effort. The ground beneath her feet vanished, and she could see the void beyond it. She recoiled, trying to keep to the wall to avoid being sucked in, and jumped back to the other side at the first opportunity.

    But eventually, everything stopped. She believed she had been successful. But she could not be sure from here whether it had been effective. From the depths of the building, she would likely not be able to radio in. She saw that the unknowns were gone. But they left no bodies. As if they were never there. And she still had no idea what they were and whether they were dead or simply elsewhere. But it mattered little. If they left her alone for now, it was good enough. She swung back to the partition to avoid the missing floor and started climbing back up.

    <hr>

    Mei climbed back out to the surface. Doing so was fairly uneventful, as it seemed nothing was pursuing her any longer. She wasn''t a hundred percent clear whether the surface would be an easier place for them to locate her to make another portal, but she wanted a chance to see it again one last time anyway. For this may be the last time anyone ever did.

    She walked out of the facility and onto the ledge. The two bodies of people from this world on the top of it were still there. Over it, she could see that the struggle that had been going on was now over. Whatever the unknowns were, they had disappeared after the ouroborous was taken out of the core. But the temple guards looked like they had all perished struggling against them. Or rather, all but one.

    A final guard was standing alone before her. It was the one who she had seen stay behind when the initial group rushed her. And from their insignia on their armored exoskeleton, they seemed like someone who could put up a decent fight and was designated as a captain. This would not necessarily be a problem for her in normal circumstances. But as she was rather injured from the struggle she had just been through and left behind a bit of blood along the way, she considered that fighting could be a concern.

    They looked at each other from across the open plateau. And she slowly walked over to them.

    But as she approached, they didn''t draw their weapon. They looked listlessly at her through their mask, as if uninterested. Realizing this, she dropped her fighting demeanor, seeing that they did not mean to be a threat. And they just stared at each other silently for a time. Under their mask, they conveyed no emotion. But their body language suggested something was off.

    To her surprise, the temple guard began to slowly raise their hands to unfasten their helmet and slowly lifted it off their head, before allowing it to clatter to the ground. After which, they let their arms hang. Underneath was a man who looked like there was no more struggle left in him.

    She thought about it for a long time. And then, despite the risk, she slowly took off her own mask.

    He looked up at her.

    ¡°Who... am I?¡±

    She thought about the question. But he spoke again before she could respond.

    ¡°Why am I... dressed like a temple guard?¡±

    She considered lying to get him to stand down. But based on his demeanor, she opted to be more straightforward.

    ¡°Because you are a temple guard.¡±

    He looked at his hands.

    ¡°I am?¡±

    He looked around, and then eventually back at her.

    ¡°What is this place?¡±

    She looked around at the quickly fading ground.

    ¡°Nowhere. This is a place outside the bounds of the universe. You were sent here on a mission.¡±

    He looked like he struggled to understand what he was hearing.

    ¡°I... but... I''m not a temple guard. I''ve never particularly approved of the temple. We went a few times, but never made a big deal of it. So I don''t...¡±

    He looked at his hands again. And then back up.

    ¡°Do you... do you know me?¡±

    Mei walked closer. The fading land around them was making that now more difficult.

    ¡°No. Not personally.¡±

    ¡°I... I looked at the chip containing my information. It looks like... I''ve killed a lot of people. But none of this is me. I wouldn''t... This whole life. This whole past. I don''t remember any of it.

    ¡°I had... I have... a wife and a daughter. But there''s no information about them anywhere. Please. T...tell me, what is going on?¡±

    Mei was at a loss. She thought about it.

    ¡°What is the last thing you remember?¡±

    ¡°I was... I think... I was out shopping. But it feels very hazy. I woke up crashing through a tunnel of light. And I ended up here.¡±

    ¡°Crashing?

    ¡°...¡±

    Mei thought over the awkwardness of that description. He must have meant crashing through the tunnel. And from that, she came to a realization.

    ¡°I think... you came in contact with the sea of possibility.¡±

    ¡°What is that?¡±

    ¡°It is a decoherence field. It contains the inert possibilities that didn''t manifest in real space. In essence, the easiest way to describe it is that it contains the data of things that didn''t happen.¡±

    He looked down, considering this, and gradually turned more pale.

    ¡°didn''t... happen?¡±

    ¡°What probably happened is that you fell into it, and it scrambled your actual self, replacing it with a possible self. In essence, a version of you that never existed overwrote your real identity. But you didn''t fall in all the way, so you still came back out the other side of the tunnel.¡±

    He held his hands up to his face, expressing more overt mental anguish.

    ¡°But my... I... my wife and daughter. Are you telling me they never existed?¡±

    Mei looked to the side, unwilling to meet his gaze.

    ¡°Sorry.¡±

    He leaned back.

    ¡°Or I suppose my wife must have existed at least. But I was the one who saved her from dying. That is how we met. So... I never knew her? She might not even be alive.¡±

    Mei was surprised he was so quick on the uptake. But she realized he had likely been going over this in his head in a daze ever since landing here. So he had some time to come to terms with his situation.

    He looked up at her.

    ¡°Why are you here? What am I... to you?¡±

    Mei continued looking to the side, not wanting to answer.

    ¡°You aren''t in armor. I see, I must have been your enemy.¡±

    She looked back.

    ¡°...Yes.¡±

    He turned towards the ledge, looking over the cliff at the fading remains of what was once a city.

    ¡°My name is Chen. I suppose that much is still true. But even this name doesn''t belong to me.

    ¡°I assume there is no way to restore my true self. Even if I came in contact with it again, I would just bring forth another of the infinite possibilities. And it''s not like it matters to me either way. I can just fade away here, and Chen will disappear from the world.¡±

    Mei stood next to him.

    ¡°You don''t have to stay here. You must have loved ones in this world, too. Ones who are waiting for you.¡±

    ¡°...No. The one they are waiting for is not me. They are waiting for someone else. Someone who doesn''t exist anymore. I am not that person. I don''t even have the same birthday. Our lives have diverged since before I was even born. The Chen they knew no longer exists.

    ¡°They mean nothing to me either. I haven''t met them. I don''t know them. The people who gave me meaning aren''t even dead. They never existed. My whole life never existed. How can I go on when I''m not even real? What should I do, take over the life of someone I don''t know? Pretend to be them?

    ¡°No... I can''t go back. The world I am from doesn''t exist. Nothing that I have is real.

    Mei looked at him.

    ¡°That''s true. But you can make a new life for yourself. As long as you are still alive.¡±

    He stood there, thinking about this for a long time. But shook his head.

    ¡°No. This me had a life already. And... you shouldn''t be helping me anyway. You said yourself...¡±

    He walked over to where his blade was lying on the ground and picked it up. He looked at it intently, like he wasn''t used to holding one.

    ¡°...that you were enemies.¡±

    Mei''s mood sank, for she could see now where this was going. He held the blade up towards Mei in a battle stance.

    ¡°The only thing I have is this situation I was incarnated into. This one moment. This is all that I am. I will follow through with this mission and die the death of a soldier.

    ¡°I am a temple knight. I am a killer. Countless people have died by my hands. What is one more?¡±

    Mei looked back with a serious expression.

    ¡°You don''t have to do this. You don''t even know how to fight. If you face me, you are going to die.¡±

    He looked back with tears now streaming visibly from his eyes.

    ¡°It''s all I have.

    ¡°Please... allow me to perish holding a blade and with my head held high.¡±

    After saying this, he took out his combat knife with his other hand. Mei reached out to stop him, but she was not close enough, and before she could react, he pierced his own chest so that he would begin bleeding out.

    "No, stop!"

    With blood now dripping down his armor, he slowly pulled the knife back out and put it back in its holster. This was an injury that could maybe be healed if treated right away, but she had no way to get him back through the portal without his cooperation. If she knocked him out, an unconscious body wouldn''t be able to be maneuvered through it.

    "There. Now you don''t need to hold back."

    He stared back at her now for a long time, waiting, slowly bleeding out. She didn''t want to engage, but there was now no other means to save him. So after slowly coming to terms with the situation, she reluctantly held up her own blade, pointing it back at him.

    ¡°I am... the messenger of death. I hope that you can find peace in the next life.¡±

    He shook his head. And raised back his own sword again.

    ¡°There is no peace for me in death. There is no one waiting for me there. I cannot be forgotten, for there was no one who ever knew me. I have nothing. I am nothing.¡±

    He looked at her intently.

    ¡°Prepare yourself.¡±

    He moved towards her and swung his blade around in her direction. With a deft movement, she parried the blade. She swung back in return, and he blocked it in a sloppy motion. This happened a few more times, until the rhythm of their swings intensified. With each exchange getting faster and with less space in between. They stood back from the ledge, alone now in the dead world, with little light but the glow of their vibro-sabers illuminating them.

    But eventually, he took a step back. He glared at her, as he could tell that she was going easy on him.

    ¡°Fight like you mean it! I am your enemy! And this is life and death!¡±

    He rushed towards her and swung with all his might. She blocked it, being staggered slightly, and took a step back. She hesitated and thought about it for what felt like a long moment. But then, resigning herself to the reality of the situation, she gave him what he wanted. He swung again. She quickly met and slid her blade up his, and then dodging past his hand, she cut off his arm, having it fly away and the sword clatter to the ground.

    She stood there, still, in the pose of the end of her slash. She hoped he would be satisfied at this point. But there was no such luck. Blood pouring out of him, he glanced at the bleeding stub and then turned to look at his fallen arm and the sword that had fallen with it. He walked over to it slowly, picking up the sword with his other arm and aiming it back at her.

    ¡°Again.¡±

    She gritted her teeth. There was going to be no out for this. He continued swinging, now even more sloppy as he was not using his dominant arm. His original self was no doubt a better fighter, but this version of him seemed to have little knowledge. He could barely parry her before, even with both arms. But now, immediate blood loss and shock were noticeably taking their toll.

    Mei, not wanting to hurt him any further, swung at his sword in a way that caused him to lose the grip, flinging it across the plateau. Losing her cool now, she made a last desperate plea with tears in her eyes.

    "It''s not too late! You can come back with me. You don''t have to die here!"

    He looked at it and then back at her, shaking his head.

    ¡°No. This doesn''t end until one of us is dead.¡±

    He pulled back out the backup knife and started walking towards her. She held up her blade in a threatening manner. But he did not stop walking. And so, him having turned down his last offer of mercy, she closed her eyes, lurching forward and driving her sword through him, causing his blood to spurt out the back and drip down the edge of the blade. As she did this he dropped his hands and slowly let go of the knife, realizing now that a killing blow had been dealt. With this injury, he would not last long. And without aid, he would likely bleed out within minutes.

    She stayed there for a long moment, holding her sword through his torso. He did not react. He bowed his head in a sign of gratitude but did not speak. They waited, sharing this moment of intimacy. Two lost souls briefly passing by eachother amidst the endless expanse of infinity.

    She pulled out the blade, and he collapsed to the ground, a pool of blood quickly beginning to pour out from his wounds. He no longer had the strength to stand, so she propped him up against the ledge and sat down next to him. He closed his eyes. She thought he might not wish to speak, as he waited there for a long period silently. But eventually, he opened his eyes again, looking now like he was struggling to do so. He reached up and began to speak weakly. Mei took his hand to comfort him.

    ¡°Please... don''t think too badly of me. The me that existed in your world, I mean. I can''t say what led him to this path that pitted him against you. But please know... that in another life... there was a version of him that could have been better.

    ¡°I wish you luck in your struggle against the temple. I never... particularly cared for it. And now... they will have one less soldier. That will no doubt be... A boon to... y...¡±

    But he could not finish his words, for he was already dead. Mei laid him back down and then put her head in her hands, sobbing heavily.

    Turning back towards them, Mei picked up and laid out the two other bodies that were on the ground next to each other, and laid Chen''s body next to them. Looking at the other bodies, she could see at a glance that they had been in a fight themselves, and faded shortly after. A fight at the end of the world. She wondered what meaning there was behind it. Or whether meaning could even be found in such a state.

    She thought out loud to herself.

    ¡°Another life, huh?¡±

    Eventually, she got a radio call.

    ¡°Come in, Mei, are you there?? Are you still alive?¡±

    ¡°It''s okay, Isaac. I''m alright.¡±

    ¡°Thank Tian! We had to abandon the original portal, but we are in a safe location now and should be able to establish a re-entry point. We prevented the connection from being lost by leaving the original one open.¡±

    ¡°Isaac. There were people here.¡±

    ¡°People? You mean, besides the temple guards?¡±

    ¡°There was a whole reality inside this space that lived and died unknown to us. They valued their lives enough to fight to the end. Feeling this, I feel like I should... value mine more too.¡±

    There was radio silence. Mei could not hear, but she didn''t need to. Sometimes nothing needed to be said. And in that moment of silence, they both felt like a lot was shared between them.

    ¡°Okay, it should be opening on your end. Hurry in.

    ¡°And... welcome home. We''ve been waiting for you.¡±

    Mei stood up. In front of her, on the ledge, a hole ripped in space akin to the one she had gotten here from. Though the return journey would be less perilous on account of having a less abstract location being the target.

    She turned back to take one last look at the fading world. At this point, there was barely anything left remaining. The ground under the city was all but gone, and nothing but the faint outlines of buildings remained to show that they were ever there. The ledge she was on looked now like it was a floating island in empty space. And even that was quickly dissolving as well.

    She looked back at the two bodies she had placed next to Chen. She thought about it and walked back. She reached down to look through their jackets until she found their wallets and took out their cards to look at them. She stared at their faces to try to get an idea of who they were. And then, after she was satisfied, she returned the cards to their wallets, and their wallets to their coats.

    ¡°Farewell, Chen.

    ¡°And...

    ¡°Farewell, Samuel and James.

    ¡°I will remember you.¡±

 11: Interconnected Lives

    June came to. Looking around in a daze, she realized that she was standing in front of an old run-down-looking street. While the street itself looked fairly normal, she noticed the strange detail that the whole street was in fact submerged underwater. Looking down, she realized she was wearing a swimsuit as well. She wondered how the street had gotten here and why it was submerged. But despite the strange situation she found herself in, she could still breathe and move normally, as if the water did not affect her or the surrounding buildings aside from making floating possible.

    She looked up and down the street. It seemed fairly deserted, being full of nothing but broken-down homes which look like they had been abandoned for decades, if not centuries. Left alone to decay under the relentless wash of the elements. Something about it felt a bit lonely, as if she had expected it to initially be full and had only now come to see that it was full no longer. But she did not recognize the street, so she had no notion of why she should think this.

    She swam through the street and into adjoining ones, which looked much the same, feeling like she was looking for something but unable to tell what it was she was seeking. But gradually, she came to see that amidst the ruined houses was her own house that she had grown up in. She was suddenly hungry and felt that it was time to eat, and so she swam inside to see what was in the kitchen, taking a stop in the process to look in on her own room. But on entering her house, she was hit with the realization that, of course, this too was abandoned. There was no one waiting here for her anymore. And there never would be again.

    She suddenly felt pained by this sight. She never wanted to see it again. She tried to get as far from it as possible. She swam out and felt that she had swum for a long time until she was no longer sure where she was. She looked up to see the moon rise and begin to glide through the ocean, pulling a strong current behind it. Night was approaching. And she felt lost, unsure where to go. She wanted to go home, but she wasn''t even sure where home was anymore. Not now that her anchor had crumbled to dust.

    She was pained now, in a panic. And she kept swimming, with no goal in mind, until she reached the very edge of the world. At the end of the world, she could see that the entire thing was contained in a large bubble, outside of which was empty space. She reached for it, and when she did, it popped. Not only the bubble, but the entire world with it. And she felt herself falling, being sucked into the reaches of deep space.

    <hr>

    June was pulled back into the waking world. She looked around her room, unsettled to see it still looking as if things were normal, when she had just seen it in a state of advanced decay. She felt disoriented for a moment, like she was beginning to remember negative feelings that had evaded her only in sleep. At first, she couldn''t remember why, but slowly it began to come back to her.

    She remembered now that she had just gotten the final information that she had been dreading for so long. She had Parfit''s syndrome, a disease that she had never even heard the name of before a few weeks ago, due to it being only recently discovered and having as of yet few patients in the world. She would have to leave her life behind and go into hypersleep. Not just once, but over and over for long stretches, making any kind of prolonged life in any one time and place impossible.

    She had spent the last few weeks in denial, hoping there was some kind of mistake when it was suggested she likely had it. But with this confirmation, it wasn''t something she could deny anymore. Not unless she wanted to risk coming face-to-face with death ¨C a meeting that would be unlikely to last long or to have a satisfactory conclusion.

    Since she had gotten the final confirmation, she had flittered back and forth between bouts of overpowering feeling, alternated with stretches where she thought and felt nothing. For after all, what now was there to even think about? She had no way out of her situation. And her situation now felt hopeless. It''s not that she wanted to die. Her issue was not wanting an escape from life. Rather, it was quite the opposite. She was being forced away from the life that she had always known. And she was afraid that the river she was sailing down would now dry up, leaving her with little more than a shallow stream. Spending the rest of her life begging for scraps from the universe, when she had expected a full banquet.

    She didn''t want to see her room anymore. She felt a sudden burst of rage, having the idea of trashing it to let it out. It''s not like it mattered to keep it in good order anymore. But she did not act on this. She grabbed her jacket and quickly went out to go for a walk before she changed her mind again. Going out to wander the busy streets, sulking, and with her head down.

    She walked around at first without any destination in mind as the sun slowly set, cascading long shadows behind her. Though these streets used to feel like home to her, they did no longer, for at this point they were nothing but a place she was stopping by. A time she was peeking in to, before vanishing from the minds and hearts of all those who lived here. Dissolving like the morning dew, as if she had never been.

    June was not used to crowds and, as of late, tended to avoid society of every sort. But she realized amidst her walking that she really didn''t want to be alone right now. At least not any more than her situation inherently made her. She didn''t normally go to bars alone, partially out of fear of harassment and partially out of fear of having to speak to strangers. She only really did as a social thing, going with people she knew. But she was already resigned to distancing herself from the few people she still had ties with. And at the moment, she could use at the very least some noise and a feeling of being in the world.

    She stumbled to the local hangout bar, Nyx''s Lounge, that was always fairly full, and slumped over in a corner after ordering a drink. The bar had a funny moon man with a face and sunglasses as a logo that she had been entertained by ever since she was a young girl, long before she was even old enough to enter. But it was not entertaining to her now.

    She spent a little time looking around at the other people who were around her, but quickly grew tired of this and put her head down to sulk, her brown hair pouring out on the counter around her. She had a lot to think about. Or did she? It''s not like thinking would do any good. Nothing could do any good. There was no cure. She was one of the only cases on earth to get Parfit''s syndrome, and no matter how she responded to it, she would be forced to leave everyone and everything behind. She wondered if it was even meaningful to talk about the self that would wake up as herself anymore. If you are defined by your relationships, then who are you when you have nothing?

    As her drink was placed in front of her, she looked up slightly at it. She wasn''t normally one for drinking heavily. She had never really been fully drunk before. But there''s a first time for everything she supposed. Now was certainly a time she wished she could forget her predicament. To descend in stages into the void until there was nothing. This one drink wouldn''t be enough to cause that, of course, but she could get more and keep drinking until it worked if need be.

    She laid her head down on the bar counter. She hadn''t yet gone into her first hypersleep, but the time when she would have to was quickly approaching. She had a few short days before she would be forced to lose everything she had ever known. She found herself already withdrawing from the people that she knew. It''s not like she was leaving much behind anyway.

    She thought it over a bit and felt slight relief that at least the experience of hypersleep would be a small dose of oblivion. These days, she only ever felt relaxed when dreaming. And reentering the waking world meant being thrust once more into the cold nightmare of reality.

    She laid there with her head down for a long time, leaning up only to take small sips. From here, she could see various other people in the bar coming and going. She felt lonely because of the situation she was now in. And although she did not want to have to speak to anyone, she did not want to be by herself. In part out of fear of what she might do when no eyes were upon her. She found herself feeling envious, seeing all these people moving about. They still lived in their own world. Had their own lives. She supposed it was probably true that not all of them were happy. But it made little difference. It''s not like she could tell anyway. And none of them had the same kinds of problems that she had. No one would ever be able to relate to her again.

    It was still sunset when she had come here, but now it was moving into the deeper hours of night. Though, in the end, it wasn''t like time mattered to her anymore. Time was an abstraction now. She had wondered whether the bartender would eventually notice her and ask what was going on, but there had been too many people in and out tonight to focus on one person sulking in the corner. So she was left to her own devices.

    Gradually, however, she heard someone sit down next to her, on the opposite side of her. This had not happened earlier, possibly on account of her appearance looking like someone who did not want to be bothered (not that this was always sufficient as a deterrent). But now, the weight of another presence was intruding on her solitude. Not that this was a problem per se. She did feel lonely. But she wasn''t good at talking to new people. Though now that she would be losing everyone, maybe talking to someone who you wouldn''t expect to keep could make for a less painful goodbye.

    She turned her head slightly, straining to catch a glimpse without appearing too interested. On the other side of her was a woman, a bit older than her, with a serious and uptight demeanor. Not exactly the type of demeanor June liked to deal with on the best of days, and certainly not now after she had nothing to take seriously anymore. But the woman did not seem to have sat there to speak to her and did not, in fact, seem to be paying attention to her at all. June laid her head back down.

    For a long period, she continued to lay like this, with the woman behind her sounding like she was sorting through some kind of papers. June wondered what this was about, in part because it was so loud in her ear. She felt like, aside from the noise she could maybe even drift off again like this. But it probably wouldn''t be a good idea in such a location.

    But she was shocked, as she was suddenly spoken to without warning.

    ¡°Are you okay?¡±

    June shot to attention. She was surprised that the woman had apparently only now noticed her. She wondered temporarily if there had been a mistake, and the woman was speaking to someone else. But there was no one else around them. June turned slowly around to look at her sheepishly, now uncertain how to respond despite having imagined people talking to her all day. She thought about answering politely. But opted for honesty instead. The woman might not receive it well, but what matter was propriety now to one such as her?

    ¡°No. Not really.¡±

    The woman acted surprised, like she thought it broke social etiquette to respond in this way. June felt a little embarrassed at being so open. But there wasn''t much reason to worry about embarrassment now, either. Embarrassment was for people who were worried about a persistent reputation, not for phantoms.

    ¡°What is wrong?¡±

    This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work.

    Being asked directly now, June thought about how best to answer. But her situation wasn''t really something you wanted to be too open with to strangers. It would be a lot to get into. And getting into the habit of standing out might get you into social situations you didn''t want to be in. This, at least, was something she had the presence of mind to realize might still be relevant further down the line.

    She carefully considered how to frame what she wanted to say. But she didn''t want to hesitate too long, for fear the woman would get bored and move on. The woman already looked a little like she didn''t particularly care about what was happening in front of her and was only speaking out of obligation. June started speaking. Initially, she intended to be more cautious. But she ended up sharing more than she wanted. She tended to have an on-off switch for communication like that.

    ¡°I am... I''m lost. In life, I mean. I thought I had a place in the world, but now I don''t know anymore. I can''t explain why. But I am going to have to leave my friends and family behind. And I don''t really know what that leaves me with.¡±

    She hesitated, thinking that she was missing something.

    ¡°Oh, sorry. My name is June. June Fox.¡±

    The woman looked shocked, and June realized that she may have framed her initial point poorly. And she might have been perceived as saying she was leaving them by choice. But before she could clarify the woman responded in a huff.

    ¡°You shouldn''t travel far from your family if your parents are alive. Not if you can avoid it, that is. As they say, when a child travels a thousand miles, their mother worries.¡±

    June wasn''t entirely sure what she was hearing, but the advice didn''t seem particularly useful to her situation. Not that this was uncommon in Fusang, but this seemed to be someone who was very family-oriented. She figured she should clarify.

    ¡°I''m not leaving them by choice. I have to go. If I could, I would stay with my family. Sorry, it''s hard to explain. It''s just the situation I am in. I don''t want to go.¡±

    The woman''s stern expression became a little softer. June figured that this was in response to her realizing that June wasn''t saying she was deliberately cutting contact.

    ¡°Ah. Well, sometimes you have to do what you must. But no matter how far you go, you are always tied to your family by heart.¡±

    June wondered a little why this woman spoke like she only knew how to talk in platitudes. She figured that it was someone who wasn''t used to acting warm to others. She wondered if both of these things ran in the woman''s family or was something just about her personally.

    But she did stop to think about the words. And she looked down, taking a somber tone. Would she really be able to keep a bond with someone as she moved further and further from them in time? What would it mean to be connected to someone for whom it would take over seventeen long years to see you again? For older family members, you always knew you would have to face their death eventually. But how could one feel at the point where even their life was but a faint blip in the memory of the world? They were gone for decades, but you knew them like they were gone only yesterday.

    She began to cry again. She wasn''t sure if she should be spending these last days saying her goodbyes or if she should have already written them off. She had no anchor now. And even if they were around to see her again when she woke up, it could never be the same. And it would only be for a moment. She would have time just enough to say hello before disappearing once more from their lives. Whole generations would be raised in this gap, but she could stay only for the blink of an eye.

    But she didn''t want to be seen like this. She tried to hide her crying, though it was not successful. She sucked it up a bit while responding.

    ¡°I suppose that is true. But it is still painful to be apart from them.¡±

    The woman''s demeanor changed slightly. Not that it became softer, so much as slightly more relaxed. The woman didn''t look like she was used to opening up to strangers. But June''s currently defenseless nature might have made it easier for her.

    ¡°Sometimes you have to steel yourself to do what you must. Sometimes, for your family, it is necessary to leave them to seek opportunities in a new place. I didn''t always live in Fusang. After the war in Ho Ton Tinh, I had to sneak out on a boat. There was family here already to help me. But I lived without my parents for a long time.¡±

    The woman leaned back and went on.

    ¡°Since I was alone, I made mistakes. I wasn''t sure what my place or purpose was for awhile. So I flitted about. I even grew resentful of my family for a time because of my situation, leaving me to figure things out on my own. And this made me want to do things for myself when I should have been preparing for my relatives. I had important clan duties I was neglecting. And now I try to keep on top of those better than I once did.

    ¡°I used to paint. A few others in my family did also, and I wanted to be like them. But I gave it up when I got married. I have too much to handle for the extended family now. Always busy.¡±

    June wasn''t enticed by this idea of donning a self-sacrificial nature. Not that she had much to sacrifice at this point herself. But she was suddenly curious.

    ¡°Do you have a picture of something you painted?¡±

    The woman looked at her like June was asking about something she wasn''t supposed to speak about. And the woman herself now hesitated for a period. But eventually she took out her phone and looked through it for something to hold up to her. June took the phone to look at it. It was a painting of a young boy with stunning detail.

    ¡°I worked on this in college. It took me around a hundred hours. This was the last painting I did before putting the activity away.¡±

    June looked at the picture for awhile, impressed. She thought about the fact that she herself would have to move around from now on. And she thought of a picture as something she would be able to keep with her. Perhaps one of a cherished memory. Maybe it would be good to have something like this. As a small way to turn any place you ended up staying in into one that felt like a home.

    ¡°It looks nice. I wouldn''t mind paying for a picture like this. If you were still painting, that is.¡±

    The woman looked down and hesitated before responding.

    ¡°No. It is too late for that. Much too late.¡±

    June thought about it for awhile and then handed back the phone.

    ¡°Well then. Maybe in another life.¡±

    They both became more quiet, staring ahead of them. June felt that the woman''s demeanor was not very positive either. June felt a pang of sadness in her voice when talking about giving up art. But one which seemed like the woman was trying to hide. June had been thinking before now only about her own problems. But this conversation made her realize that she was not the only one who had them. And she became empathetic to the woman''s own struggles. She felt like she didn''t want to talk about herself anymore, and hoped it wouldn''t be too forward to pivot.

    ¡°You seem like you are troubled as well.¡±

    She paused, unsure of how to say what she wanted to next without coming off rude.

    ¡°It must have been difficult to give up something that was so big a part of you.¡±

    The woman looked back at her with a somber tone.

    ¡°Everyone has to give things up. Sometimes your purpose calls you elsewhere.

    ¡°It''s not just art that I had to give up. There was a time when I had some... youthful indiscretions. I worked alongside some people who were heretical xiaoren who railed against the social order of society. I was trying to reject my place and find a new place of my own. But eventually I realized my mistake. And came to understand the social order''s importance. My true path was already laid out before me. And my dreams of something else were just a distraction from the path I was meant to take.¡±

    She looked down.

    ¡°I was lucky that I fixed my mistake before it got too far. And for this, I found greater things. I was given a great honor, despite everything. And this is how I learned my real purpose.¡±

    June was suddenly curious.

    ¡°Great honor?¡±

    The woman hesitated as if thinking for a long period, and then slowly rolled up her sleeve to show June something that was underneath. June recoiled slightly unconsciously, for on the woman''s arm, June could see an ominous esoteric symbol - The Brand of Shen. Although June loosely recognized the brand from school, this was not something she was familiar with or understood the implications of. And this was the first time she had seen such a thing in person. And it looked much more menacing when you could see it directly etched into someone''s skin directly. The brand began to glow in the dim light. And it was mesmerizing to her with its enticing beauty.

    June did not dare speak about it while it was visible. Something about the brand itself seemed to make this impossible. But as the woman slowly rolled back down her sleeve to put it away, June began to feel more hesitant. Wondering what it meant and why it felt so stifling. She started to think about what it would mean to be in the situation the woman seemed to be in. Of someone trying to take charge of a situation they were pushed into, but which was not their own life path, but one which was chosen for them.

    June began to think of what it meant to be forced onto a path that was not your own. She, too, had to deal with this. But her own situation was a little different because, in her case, there was no external force forcing her onto it. Rather, that was the issue. She was now alone. Dropped into the ocean with no life preserver, knowing that no rescue would be coming, and left to paddle to where she may.

    It was interesting, in a sense, to compare yourself to someone whose situation was so similar yet so different from your own. To June''s eyes, the woman seemed to be trying to come to terms with a situation that was not ideal. But was such a thing possible? Was it different to do so in a situation you could still struggle against versus one there was no escape from?

    June started to question whether she shouldn''t encourage the woman back, seeing that the woman herself seemed to be stuck in a situation it might be better for her to still try to leave. But June was not very social, and she wasn''t sure she knew enough about this situation to try. It would no doubt be seen as intruding to offer unsolicited advice for something she knew little about.

    The woman spoke back again after a long pause.

    ¡°Because of this, I am given special status. And I will be able to use this to help guide my family to higher status as well. This is my place both within my family and within society.¡±

    June thought about this.

    ¡°But is this what you want? I mean, what you really want? For your own life?¡±

    The woman finished what she was doing and started putting away her papers to prepare to leave.

    ¡°What you personally want is irrelevant. If you seek to be happy, you can achieve it through harmonious action. It comes from your purpose.¡±

    June looked back at her, realizing the woman did not intend to speak further on the matter. And it would not be productive to try forcing it. But that was no matter. She had her own issues to focus on anyway. There was little use trying to help someone who, from June''s perspective, would fade into ancient memory in short order. And it wasn''t really her place to if they didn''t want it.

    She thought to herself out loud.

    ¡°Purpose, huh?¡±

    June felt on the verge of realizing something. She closed her eyes and pondered over the avenues of her life that had been closed off to her. It''s true that most things she had known were now lost to her forever. But... her life wasn''t over. It''s never over until it''s over. And you can still move on if you have something else to look forward to. She realized now from talking about family that there could be an avenue out of her fate of solitude. Perhaps it was just a dream. A passing thought. But this was no matter. For it could also be a motivation. And it was within your dreams that your reality is formed.

    Her eyes shot open as her intuition entered into conscious awareness. There was something she needed to know. And she quickly took out her own phone to see whether she could look it up. Afterwards, satisfied with what she found, she stood up and looked forward with determination. She quickly finished the rest of her drink and then put down the empty glass.

    She turned to go as well. But stopped to turn back for a moment.

    ¡°I''m sorry. I didn''t catch your name.¡±

    ¡°Lan Ming. Or I suppose I should say Lan Mingzhu.¡±

    ¡°Well, thank you, Ming. You are right about one thing. In the end, I do need to go find my family. Here is hoping they are waiting for me as well. I hope you, too, find whatever it is you are looking for. In this life or the next.¡±

    Ming jokingly scoffed back at her.

    ¡°I''m not looking.¡±

    June shook her head and walked out. She would think about this day many times in the future. But she would never see Ming again.

    <hr>

    June walked out to the balcony connected to the bar. From here, she could see the people underneath moving like currents in a river, each absorbed in their own world. And she realized now that she was part of this world. The journey of all beings takes them to different places. But there is no time to lament what could have been. For you have only this moment. And if you blink, the world will pass you by.

    She stood up over the balcony looking down at the street and held out her arms. She was alive. A single drop in the endless ocean. She was a part of it. But she was also all of it. She pulled her hands back to run them through her hair, spreading it out behind her. She was this ocean now. And feeling its windy stream pass through her hair had given her an idea on how to reflect it.

    Though she was still in pain, she felt now that life was there for the taking. And she realized something else. That it was okay not to feel okay. She was still going to feel bad sometimes. And she probably always would. But it is through adversity that can be born new potential. And it is only in moments of weakness that you can show what you are truly capable of withstanding.

    She held up her hand to reach across time and space. Others would rise and fall, but she would remain. She no longer had any notion of where this would take her. Except... for one case. For a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And often, the first step is to make sure you aren''t alone.

    She held up her finger like a gun to shoot it across the horizon.

    ¡°Stay there, Jonah. Because I''m coming for you.¡±

 12: The Chun Tzu Ministry

    ¡°The Tree of Life has been branched to us from the ethereal plane.

    ¡°The gateway has been opened, given to us, the Chun Tzu Ministry.

    ¡°All that remains is to breach this connection in order to create a path to the axis.¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Welcome, Inquisitor Mars. Please, your status report.¡±

    "Respected Ministers. Our operation was a success. We successfully hijacked the attempt of the techno-gnostics to shift the Wheel of Law. They sought to close it. But now, it has been reversed, opening it wider for our purposes."

    ¡°Chairman Beev was not present to receive word of the assignment, as it was rather sudden. Please bring us up to speed in your report, so as we are all made aware.¡±

    ¡°As a summary, we have successfully shifted the Ouroborous to the unfolded state.¡±

    ¡°How exactly did this shift occur? This is something we have been seeking for centuries and had been unable to make any headway on. I had believed we had given up thinking it would even be possible for the foreseeable future.¡±

    ¡°It happened yesterday. There was a group of techno-gnostics who seemingly located the path to the Ouroborous compass through unknown means. We believe that they were trying to make contact so as to shift the Ouroborous to strengthen the barrier. The compass for accessing the Ouroborous was discovered by them to exist in an unstable cyber-esoteric space outside of the observable universe. As we ourselves did not have the ability to make contact, we considered the state of the compass unable to be altered. But they managed to find the ability to make a bridge there through the Sea of Possibility.

    ¡°We recognized what they were doing promptly as they attempted it, however, and took advantage of their operation. Unfortunately, though, they were prepared for us as well, seemingly aware that we would discover them and being heavily armed in the area. But we drove them out, using their own bridge to gain access before it collapsed, and ultimately reaching the compass.

    "In the process of this, the constructed space surrounding it collapsed along with the bridge and the operatives who were inside. So access to the compass is now lost again. But they accomplished their mission before contact with them was lost. And so, aside from the operatives, there was little in the way of negatives for us due to the orientation of the compass now being in a more desired position. And it being in our benefit as well that they can no longer shift it."

    If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.

    ¡°As we successfully managed to shift it in the opposite direction, we are now granted greater access to hyperspace. Not as much as we would have liked, because it seems the space collapsed in the process of them shifting it, so they could not do so fully. But enough to shift the paradigm of entry. Now our esoteric-scientists believe we will be able to successfully bring forth divine machines from the higher plane. Which is something we could not do so previously.¡±

    ¡°Ah. I see. This is a great victory. Be sure to send a large stipend to the families of the lost operatives on account of this great deed they have accomplished.¡±

    ¡°We have already done so.¡±

    ¡°Ahh. Very good. I see you work quickly.¡±

    ¡°Back on the topic of divine machines. In decades past, this was attempted once already. From the far reaches of infinity, they tried to construct a divine machine in order to have it manifest onto our plane. Unfortunately, the barrier was stronger at the time, so such a thing was still impossible. We lost track of the machine and only managed to locate it when it was discovered by techno-gnostics in Hyperborea, who activated it inadvertently. When this happened, we moved quickly to destroy it in order to ensure it did not fall into their hands.¡±

    ¡°Yes. Most of it would have been useless at that point. So preventing them from getting access was the better option. It was a large consumption of resources to test. But it was a useful experiment to see whether it would be possible. Although it did come with the unforeseen risk that they might come into contact with it. Initially, it was believed that we would know where it landed even if it were not functional. So it was, in a sense, a cosmic accident that it was lost.

    ¡°At the time, it was not a possibility. But the serpent has been turned. The barrier between our world and that of hyperspace has been shifted. Which means we can now put this project into action once again.¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°The importance of this development cannot be overstated. That which we have prepared for for centuries will finally come to pass.¡±

    ¡°The creation of more divine machines is already underway. Using the sixty-four hexagrams, we will be able to manifest them in short order. On their arrival, we will be able to spread Li across the globe, eliminating the remaining resistance. After which will it will finally begin. The day of Tianren Ganying. And the rectification of names.¡±

    ¡°We are in particular luck that this happened when it did. Or perhaps I should say divine providence. Just recently, we purposefully released some knowledge of the occult interlocuter Feng Weihong''s activities in order to bait out the techno-gnostics into taking action against him. In the process of this, his global support network was destabilized, and we managed to get rid of one of the major thorns in our side without any major cost to ourselves. We did have to allow them to take some of his esoteric artifacts in the process, so as to not make it obvious our hand was involved. But this was a small cost.¡±

    ¡°It was a risky choice not to get involved ourselves, when he was doing something that put a large chunk of the city itself at risk. But all''s well that ends well.¡±

    ¡°There are a few other small groups of heretics who have also been snuffed out recently. But they are not so significant. Soon, though, we will be able to do so on a much larger scale. And we will be able to deal a final blow to the central groups of those who oppose us.¡±

    ¡°They have eluded us for many ages. But a point comes now where they will be able to do so no longer. For we will now enter a new age. An age where there is no darkness.¡±

    ¡°The collective Anthropos will be brought in line with Ren. By the will of the Archigenetor.¡±

    ¡°The Wheel of Law is turning. So it begins.¡±

    ¡°Praise Sakras.¡±

 13: Concrete Forest Interlude

    Mei laid on the treatment table for her injuries, with the now-idle robotic medical arms hanging over her. The injuries she got earlier in the sea of possibility may have put her out of commission for longer if this was further in the past, but dealing with blood loss and non-critical bullet wounds was something you could come back from pretty quickly if you had access to decent facilities in this day and age. Not every injury was fixable, of course, but for something like this, you might be tired for awhile and maybe not perfect for a few days, but lasting damage would be minimal if treated properly.

    She held up her left arm to look at it. Nothing lasts forever, she supposed. If she lost it, a replacement would be able to replicate its functions, but it likely wouldn''t be quite the same. She would be quick to adapt, though. It''s not like she processed the continued being of her body with a sense of stability anyway.

    But... no. She shouldn''t think like that. Not anymore.

    She looked up at Ngoc Aprils, the punk rock doctor. Ngoc was the only other one in the room. Although Isaac was worried about her, and despite her not considering his presence for procedures like this a bother on account of his orientation, due to the potential need of states of undress for medical procedures, he left her be while she was in the lab on account of privacy. Ironic, considering some of the places she frequented, but some things you don''t want to make a whole thing about unnecessarily.

    Mei sat up to get ready to go and put her shirt back on. Ngoc finished writing something at her desk and then scooted her way over to her on a chair, holding a clipboard.

    ¡°Everything else looks pretty good. Physically at least. We were able to patch up your injuries without issue.¡±

    Mei stared ahead.

    ¡°Alright.¡±

    She thought it over and then looked over.

    ¡°What do you mean... physically?¡±

    Ngoc tapped her finger on the side of her head.

    ¡°I think you already know what I am going to say about that.¡°

    Mei looked down and closed her eyes.

    ¡°You are too tense, and it is going to keep you from recovering as well. You should try to relax more.¡°

    ¡°It''s true though. Being tense and stressed is going to affect your recovery.¡±

    Mei looked away sarcastically.

    ¡°Gee, I never considered this.¡±

    She thought over it.

    ¡°Sorry. Just... its not always easy. I''m trying.¡±

    The doctor leaned back.

    "Well, I know there''s a lot placed on you. And I can''t really say anything about that. You have to handle more than anyone. And it might not be fair how much people are counting on you. But if you need it, you should still take some time off. Or at least do something relaxing.¡±

    Mei stood up and grabbed her jacket to walk out.

    ¡°Relaxing, huh? I''m not sure I know what that is. But we''ll see.¡±

    She walked out of the operating room. Down the corridor there were several windows over which you could see several unlit city buildings, looking like black silhouettes. In this day and age, cities had begun to spread out more than they had used to be. Rather than being all clustered together, cities and satellite cities began to blur together, leading to various chunks of city spread all over the larger metropolitan area and even deep into the cyburbs. This had several purposes. Both to try to spread out centers of art and culture, as well as to reduce traffic. Not even evil overlords want to be stuck in traffic.

    The facility they were in was rather small. Most of the hideouts used by techno-gnostics had to be by design because there was always a possibility they would be raided. After the operation, many of the operatives split and went either to different hideouts or dipped so as to reduce the numbers in one place. But Mei needed to have her injuries tended to, this being something difficult to do on your own. And wherever she went, Isaac tended not to be too far behind.

    Mei glanced in at the common room as she walked by. Several people were waiting here, some still with wounds waiting to be tended to, leading to quite a bit of blood spots on the floor that would need to be cleaned later. Mei sometimes felt guilty that she was almost always tended to first, unless someone had more immediately life-threatening injuries. She wasn''t even particularly close to a lot of the people here. Perhaps this was by necessity. Because as time went on, many of them would likely vanish. And the act of clinging can be a dangerous fetter. Though there was also a more practical reason for this. Because being seen together with too many of them could give up your connections.

    Captain Jack saw her come out of the operating room to the commons and quickly rushed over to give her a quick debriefing, although a longer one would have to wait til tomorrow. At the moment everyone was tired, and this was not super time-sensitive on account of the fact that the temple was unlikely to try anything again today.

    She was thirsty, though, on account of losing blood. So after Jack eventually finished his explanation and wandered off, she went to the water machine by the window that had fake palms over it and got herself a large cup. She finished it in one sip and then thought about it, eventually getting a second and third and doing so in the same way. The fourth she filled but carried with her.

    She looked for Isaac because she knew he would be worried about her and was likely sitting around due to him having already packed away all the mission equipment he was using. She found him in the corner, looking small and worried, sitting on his white jacket. Isaac always wore a white jacket, contrasting Mei''s black one, giving them a yin-yang appearance when they were on missions together. She always wondered how he managed to keep it so clean, despite the color. As if he moved around lightly and softly and could just kind of gently push away any potential irritants that could stain it.

    While Isaac presented as calm and serious whenever doing anything practical, he still had a fairly boyish demeanor when it came to personal matters on account of his artificially stunted growth. This was something he tried (and often unsuccessfully) to hide from others, but he was always more open with Mei, seeing her as the closest thing he had to family. Mei, in turn, was happy to have someone to be close to because there were also things she didn''t feel she could share with anyone else.

    Isaac looked somber, like he was thinking and looking off into the distance. But he looked up when he heard her coming, with a concerned look on his face.

    ¡°Mei. Are you okay? You were bleeding when you came back.¡±

    ¡°I''m fine. Ngoc patched me up. I was barely bleeding anyways.¡±

    ¡°Make sure to drink a lot of water.¡±

    Mei stood there a little annoyed, still visibly holding the cup of water she had brought over here with her. She sat down on the table opposite him.

    They sat there in silence for a long time, thinking over the conversation they had had earlier. But now that they were back, it felt awkward to bring it up again. Isaac opted for a more vague question in its stead.

    ¡°So what was it like in there? On the other side.¡±

    Mei thought over what she had seen there.

    ¡°The esoteric space around the compass wasn''t just abstract data like we thought it would be. There was a whole city inside of it. Surrounding the compass was some type of facility that looked like it was formed based on some kind of unconscious awareness that it was important. And surrounding this in the city, it looked like actual people were living there, totally unbeknownst to our world.

    ¡°It felt like... at some point the people there became aware that their world was unstable and was falling apart. That they were living through an apocalypse. But from where they were, they had no ability to do anything about it. It looked like there were people running around, causing destruction in their despair. But by when I got there, they were all already dead. And what little was left of the city itself was dissolving.

    ¡°It was... sad. Seeing evidence of so many people being carried towards a fate they were likely powerless to stop. It makes me wonder. Had we found out about this space earlier, would it have been possible to save them?¡±

    Isaac listened and then looked down with a somber expression.

    ¡°It''s hard to say. If we don''t know the full properties of the space, its unclear whether they would have been able to be brought back to normal space. But... we can''t think of it as on us. We didn''t even know of the existence of this space before now.¡±

    Mei looked at him. Then leaned back and closed her eyes.

    ¡°I suppose that''s the difficult part of being in a position like this. In the end, you can''t always save everyone. You might always wonder what you could have done differently and whether you are accountable for it. But you can''t dwell on it. You have to move forward. Because if you aren''t there the next time, even less might be saved. And you won''t be there if you are crippled by indecision.¡±

    She opened her eyes and looked up.

    ¡°Seeing this world made me think a bit more about my own life. How I value it. What it means to struggle. For others. For yourself.

    ¡°...

    If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    ¡°Sorry. I am still sorting through my thoughts. It can be hard to speak when they are so new. But I promise we will talk about it later.¡±

    Isaac looked back.

    ¡°I understand.¡±

    They sat there for a while quietly. The truth is, it was always hard on her to sort out her thoughts when Mei had a new realization about herself. And the overpowering emotion felt like it made her brain short-circuit for awhile. It felt like a delicate balance was being disrupted, as if the pieces of her identity were shifting and trying to find a new arrangement.

    She looked at Isaac. She could tell he was worried about her, but that his worry came with a sense of relief. At least for the time being. She smiled to herself, feeling happy for this unspoken vote of confidence. This was something she needed.

    But eventually she felt his thoughts trail off. She could tell that there was something else he was perturbed about. But it seemed to be a new feeling. He didn''t have this expression earlier today.

    Mei looked back at him.

    ¡°You also look like you have something on your mind.¡±

    He hesitated a bit, surprised momentarily that she could tell what he was feeling. And unsure if he wanted to talk about the things that were bouncing around his head.

    ¡°Heh. I guess I can''t keep secrets from you.¡±

    He thought about it for a moment to sort his thoughts.

    ¡°I talked to Captain Jack a bit about relationships earlier while you were on the other side. It''s still something hard for me to talk about. Even here, I mean. Like, I know people here won''t judge me. But there can still be a sense of embarrassment and alienation in being different. And this is still a new situation for me.¡±

    He looked at Mei for a reaction, and from her expression saw that she was waiting for him to continue on.

    ¡°It''s not going on dates with guys itself that feels awkward. I mean, maybe a little. But you know. It''s moreso talking about it to anyone else. You can feel self-conscious talking about things that mark you as too different from their experience. Even if they don''t make a big deal about it. Because you know that someone somewhere would.¡±

    He looked down.

    ¡°I dunno. I don''t really have a point. I mean, I knew I was gay a long time ago. But it was different then. Since it was more of an internal thing. When the time comes where you have to actually choose to act on it, it feels different. Socially, that is. Especially if it is hard to make sense of your own identity due to being in a different role than other boys would be in a relationship.¡±

    He shook reflexively a little and looked nervous.

    ¡°I suppose I also feel a little petty thinking about this right now. After all, we are in a life-and-death situation. But that is part of why it feels more important to address than it did back before I got involved. I''m just kind of... worried what if something happens before I get it sorted out. And I feel like I need to do so just in case. Like it wouldn''t be validated in my life if that didn''t happen.

    ¡°You... get what I mean, right?¡±

    Mei put her hands open side down on the table and thought about it for a moment.

    ¡°I feel you. You''re not the only one. I had a similar crisis of identity when first deciding if I really wanted to go on a date with a girl for real, rather than just keeping it in my head. I don''t think you have to worry about whether this is the right time to think about something like this, though. Because live or die - if you are going to die, it is better to die being true to yourself.¡±

    She gestured around the room.

    ¡°After all, that is what all of this is for, isn''t it?

    ¡°Something helpful to keep in mind though is that no one ever gets it all sorted out. Not all the way. Life is a process of self-discovery and recreation. And even things you aren''t fully aware of are still part of you. You already began the journey. And the self only exists in the process of journey. Process and reality.¡±

    She held up her hands, palm upwards, and looked at him intently.

    ¡°Besides, there is a more practical reason to work out your sense of self also. Because your social identity is also tied to your existential self-identity as a distinct person. And the more you feel like you don''t have a sense of your own self, the more it can lead to dissociative experiences. The self is a construct born from overlapping identities, and it is important to have a grasp on what your identity is. Because if you struggle too hard with this, you can start to feel hazy, like you don''t exist. And this can be a problem when in practical situations where you need to be centered.¡±

    She paused and then looked to the side, embarrassed.

    ¡°Err... hypothetically speaking, of course. I wouldn''t know anything about that.¡±

    Isaac looked at her suspiciously.

    ¡°I wish you wouldn''t talk about dying so casually, Mei. It makes me suspicious when it is you that is doing it.¡±

    He looked back to the side.

    ¡°But I''m afraid I can''t let you die just yet. So forgive me for making sure you stay alive awhile longer.¡±

    She closed her eyes.

    ¡°I guess I will stay alive then. Just for you.¡±

    He thought more about what she said for awhile.

    ¡°What about you, though? If someone is fully gay, they have to face the reality that their family will unavoidably find out at some point. Unless they cut them off, that is. But I never really thought about what it would be like to be in the middle. Some people act like it means it''s easier to hide. But I suppose you have different problems of your own.¡±

    Mei thought about it for a moment.

    ¡°Obviously it isn''t quite the same for women, much less ones who are only half gay. Since that is one of the more socially acceptable combinations. But it can still come with a lot of self-doubt. Like a feeling that it is a decision that once you make it changes who you are. And it can feel at first like something that once you do, you can never take back. But at some point you realize you have to just embrace it. To be who you need to be. It is a leap of faith.

    ¡°A lot of people do assume that it makes it easier that its something you can hide. But its not as simple as that. A lot of studies actually show that bisexual people have worse mental health on average than gay or straight people. And there are a variety of reasons. Some of it ties to how if you do alternate what types of relationships you have, you can feel like it is a recurring change in identity. And it can be difficult to know what identity to express to others if it feels like continually coming into a new one. And a lot of bisexual people even get harassed, even by gay people, because the latter assume they have it better than them. So it can feel like being on edge from both directions.¡±

    Isaac thought about it, then looked down sadly.

    ¡°Hmm...

    ¡°I suppose people are willing to hurt each other all over. It''s sad knowing that even people who are in similar situations to you, you can''t always trust.¡±

    He looked down somber for awhile.

    ¡°I didn''t really think of it at the time. But it is true. Even when dealing with them legally later on, I never figured out why my parents did what they did to me. But I have some suspicions. I think they may have suspected, even at my young age, that I was attracted to other boys. And this might have been part of their motivation to keep me from what they saw as corruption. If I never aged into the real world, that would never become an issue for them or for their image of what they wanted me to be.

    ¡°That may have not been all of it. But I suspect it was at least some of it. It''s hard knowing that you will never know. I could contact them to see if I could get them to admit, but... there''s probably no point at this point. You just have to live sometimes without closure. Wondering that maybe had you done something differently, things would have turned out different. Something you hid better. Someone you told.¡±

    Mei shook her head.

    ¡°Sometimes closure never comes. You have to learn to make your own peace.¡±

    She pointed at him.

    ¡°Besides, something you did did get you out of it. Had you never talked to me, I would have never known to come back for you. And had you not discovered what they were doing on your own, you might have been unwilling to leave.¡±

    He looked down and smiled weakly.

    ¡°Yeah. I suppose so. I was lucky you came when you did. If they kept erasing my memory every time I found out, then finding out once wouldn''t necessarily be for good.¡±

    ¡°Some things have to be done multiple times before there are results. What is important is to keep working at it.¡±

    ¡°Heh. You''re one to talk. Mei, you sound like a self-help book.¡±

    ¡°N-no.¡±

    Mei quickly tossed the pamphlet she was holding over her shoulder and adopted a caught expression. She tried to hold the expression, but she found it hard to without giggling slightly, and as she did, they both started to break into a genuine laugh, ending up smiling. After this had subsided, she breathed in to continue on.

    ¡°But it''s true. Your family is supposed to be there to help you maneuver these types of situations. But this help isn''t something everyone is lucky enough to have. I wasn''t stupid. At the point I first went on a date with a girl, in order to explore these feelings, I made sure to keep it secret from them, knowing how they would react if they knew about it. And at this point, while I did still try to placate my family and try to work out a relationship with them, I had already accepted that there were certain things that I would never be able to tell them. This girl didn''t end up working out. But from the experience, I came to understand that how I felt wasn''t a fleeing feeling.

    ¡°Some time after this, I had gone on a few dates with a guy instead, enough to be willing to bring him home to let my family meet him. I was less worried about bringing home a guy than I was about the prospect of bringing home a girl. I hadn''t considered at the time that there might still be a problem with my family even on this front. At least not any more than that, I knew they acted like dating itself was a waste of time when you should be studying. Which they then expect you to follow up with by coming home with a high-quality partner later on, without any experience or guidance on how to get one. Or even any clear indication on what their standards of high quality are. Which is... not an uncommon story.

    ¡°But contrary to my expectations, they got angry all the same, on account of claiming he was the wrong race. This had confused me at first, due to him not even being a significantly different race than my family. But this was when I learned just how strict their arbitrary standards and prejudices would be.

    ¡°Things didn''t work out with this guy either. And at the end of it all, I felt even more dejected. Realizing now that no matter what path I went down, they were likely to never approve. I had no intention of allowing them to handpick someone for me like they wanted. But I knew by that point that they would likely turn up their noses at basically anyone I tried to be with besides this.

    ¡°This is the point when I realized that there would come a time when I had to simply openly conflict with them about my own life path. Although I was single again at the time, and I knew that if I dated again I could keep it a secret if I had to, I had to be prepared for the reality that if something ever became long-term, it could not stay a secret forever. And that if a day ever came where someone of either sex was going to transition into a life partner, I would have to stay strong about the abuse from my family that would likely come with it.

    ¡°When I realized this is when I started feeling like it was important to get a sense of my own identity.¡±

    She reached up to the bisexual flag patch that was on her jacket to run her hands over it.

    ¡°So I got a patch that I could pin to my clothes as a sense of self-expression.¡±

    She closed her eyes.

    ¡°Although, full disclosure, even now I am a little too cowardly to wear something like this around my family, even though I doubt they know what it means.

    ¡°To me, the flag has a kind of bonus meaning relative to some other people who might identify with it. Because while many might have to struggle to assert their right to date the same gender freely, because of my family, I couldn''t even date the opposite gender freely. And not even because of my family''s views on dating in general, but because their uptight choosiness of who they considered an acceptable partner. You know, even now they think they are still going to choose a partner for me? And they think if they just say it confidently enough, I will just go along with it.

    ¡°But the flag is... not just for me. I also wear it for the sake of others. So that any dejected child who sees it can know that they are not alone.

    ¡°As for my family, nowadays, I try to just avoid most of them. Though obviously I can''t all the time. I have to maintain contact because... you know.¡±

    Isaac dutifully listened, thinking over the monologue as if from an older family member he trusted and wanted to learn from. On account of his disjointed growth that took place in what should have been formative years, he often did a lot of code-switching depending on conversation. When dealing with mission-sensitive things, he had years of experience and so talked in an air of competence. But when maneuvering the social world, he often talked a bit more young and docile. Often valuing Mei''s input like a helpful older sister who had walked these same paths long before.

    He held the back of his hand up to his mouth, speaking over it.

    ¡°I suppose it is a kind of issue of trial and error. My family isn''t holding me back physically anymore. But their influence will likely weigh on me for a long time.¡±

    ¡°No doubt they will. Like a haunting specter. But that is life. You have to dialectically work through your own exorcism. To get past the dragon that lives inside your head.

    ¡°But... you don''t have to do it alone. It helps to find the people who can aid you on your journey. Just be careful who you open up to. Not everyone will be helpful. Not even in communities designed for that kind of thing.

    ¡°When it came to pride-related stuff, originally I was not particularly interested. I considered the flashiness of parades to be ostentatious. And much of what happened there to be rather unpleasant. But I think I am more understanding of their purpose now. Community is how people find others like them. And it is through doing things like this that you obtain the power to resist being stepped on. Isolated people are in no position to resist.

    ¡°I still can''t say I think all of it is positive. But that too is dialectics. Find who you need to find. Be who you need to be.¡±

    Isaac thought a bit about her words. Although Fusang was not very friendly to this type of thing in the wider sense, pride parades were technically allowed, and officially the members were not harassed for going or partaking. However, like with all things, there is an addendum. Because while the parades themselves and associated activities were not banned, for someone from that angle to lay a challenge on the social order itself could land them in hot water. And so it was not uncommon for certain people too deep into the more radical forms of it to be disappeared from time to time.

    He sat up straight.

    ¡°I think I get it. I feel a bit better now, thanks.¡±

    Mei leaned back.

    ¡°Heh. And here just a few hours ago, you were acting like the strong one.¡±

    He looked down shyly.

    ¡°I suppose that is what people are for. To be there to account for each other''s weaknesses.

    ¡°I''m still going to hound you to talk later, you know. About your stuff, I mean.¡±

    ¡°I''ll be counting on it.¡±

    They sat there for awhile longer, moving on to speak on less serious matters. More relaxed now after talking, and feeling like their outlook had improved. They were unaware of what would come next, but felt glad all the same that for the moment it was quiet. But as it was growing late, gradually they got up to leave, as most people involved with the mission were not going to stay at this hideout overnight.

    Mei walked out with Isaac. As she did, she thought about it, and then, as a conscious effort, smiled and waved at Captain Jack. He did a double take, but then stared back stunned, because this was something that had never happened before. He spoke to himself out loud.

    ¡°Heh. I suppose all things can change.¡±

 14: The Black Knight

    Mei and Isaac walked home along the late-night streets, talking quietly. The city around them was quiet at this time of night, disturbed only by the occasional distant sound of a car passing by or the soft rustle of leaves in the cool breeze. Their footsteps echoed on the empty sidewalks, and the glow of streetlights cast long shadows behind them, like a somber dream.

    Mei looked up as she walked, her gaze occasionally drifting to the stars above that were barely visible through the urban haze. Up above the moon shone brightly, like a faint spot of yang contrasting the endless yin of night that stretched out before them.

    They hit a crossroads branching between their two paths, and Isaac waved goodbye. Mei watched him walk off somberly. She would see him again shortly ¨C probably tomorrow, as a matter of fact. And it''s not like someone like her was in danger being alone at night. But there was always something sad about seeing someone walk off into the darkness. To see them consumed as if by the endless night.

    Now alone, she turned back to walk to her own compound. She had been through a lot today in the Sea of Possibility, both mentally and physically. So she would be glad to get some rest. She hoped that she wouldn''t be called back early. She wanted to sleep in, lay around relaxing in the morning. Maybe get in some reading.

    She walked down an alley as it was the shorter path to return. She thought about how this was something most women wouldn''t do on account of safety. Though, at this time of night, it was probably something a lot of men wouldn''t do either. She reflected on how the world can be a very different place based on who you are. Different pathways open and close based on your own personal reality and how it intersects with your life and the lives of others.

    But today was different. Something was there. Mei felt something suddenly, and looked up to see in the middle of the alley a dark figure standing in shadow. She was instantly wary because she realized that she couldn''t tell they were there before looking. And that this wasn''t an accident. Whoever they were, they knew how to conceal their presence. And she wasn''t sure how to respond, since they seemed to also be able to conceal their intentions.

    She slowed to a stop and stood across from them, with a gap between them, looking at them quietly. The figure was dressed heavily in black, like she herself was. But they had a mask covering their face and had nothing signifying who they might be or whoever they might be affiliated with. They didn''t seem like a temple guard. Temple guards tended to announce themselves on account of the position they held in society. Whereas this person was clothed carefully to distort their details. Whoever they were, they took great pains to keep it secret. And this was all that Mei could tell about them.

    As she was watching, a red logogram symbol started glowing on their mask. They began to speak. But this did little to clarify things, for their voice was distorted, having an electronic edge.

    ¡°You are injured.¡±

    The dark figure pulled a knife from their side, making Mei tense up. But the figure flipped the knife around, pointing it at themselves.

    ¡°Allow me.¡±

    Mei reached up her arm reflexively, thinking of the figure she saw fatally wound themselves earlier today. But she realized that this person wasn''t aiming at their vitals. They drove the knife into themselves slightly so that they started bleeding, but then pulled it out, cleaning it on their sleeve, and placed it back, turning their masked head to the side.

    ¡°There. Now I am like you.¡±

    Mei wasn''t sure how to respond to that. Somehow it felt a little embarrassing. Who was this person, and why did they think they needed to handicap themselves to take it easy on her? Did they know who she was, or was this the preface to a random mugging? But no ¨C they didn''t seem like a mugger. They were too well prepared.

    But she understood one thing now. The interlocutor was preparing for a fight. They drew a vibro-saber katana from their back, igniting it to a glowing red and holding it at their side, pointing down. Mei looked around cautiously. Although this was a somewhat secluded place, she was worried about causing a disturbance here. Anything that could put her on the radar of the temple was a risky thing to engage in. But she assumed it wouldn''t be easy to get out of this. She could run. But this opponent seemed like someone who would be able and willing to readily follow. And it wouldn''t improve matters to end up in a more populated place. She accepted her fate. And drew forth her own saber as well.

    She looked up to speak, thinking over her intro carefully.

    ¡°Who are you?¡±

    It was best to start simple. Though she understood the paradoxical nature of asking a masked person who they are.

    The shadowed figure responded.

    ¡°I myself am nothing. Nothing more than the sum total of all that which led to me.¡±

    This did not shed much light on Mei''s concerns.

    ¡°What do you want?¡±

    The figure turned its head to the side, like it was thinking about this.

    ¡°There is much that I might want. You would probably be able to relate to it if I were to share it with you. But no. That is not talk for today. I am here for you. I am here to see what you are capable of.¡±

    Mei thought about what they said. The figure did not use her name. But they seemed like they might know who she was. And that she had special significance. This was concerning. For this was meant to be a well kept secret. She didn''t want to convey her nervousness about this fact, though. So she forced herself to respond with an even demeanor.

    ¡°Well then. I hope I don''t disappoint.¡±

    The figure spoke in an electronic tone.

    ¡°I have had similar hopes. But I believe that you will find that it is not so easy.¡±

    Mei held up her blue saber, and they pointed the sabers at eachother. Due to the figure clouding their appearance and demeanor, she couldn''t sense much from them, and so didn''t totally know how this was going to go. Injury concerns aside, it could still be bad if it went on too long. And she wanted to figure out this person''s story if possible. But that wouldn''t be possible if she had to run from temple guards. And there was no telling how close some might be. Even normal law enforcement might be a problem.

    They dashed at each other and swung their blades, parrying and spinning around to look at each other from the opposite side. Mei saw that the figure was using a left-handed swing. It was something, but not a lot to go on. Their swing was strong and skillful, though. This wasn''t someone who would be easy to incapacitate.

    They rushed back together, swinging and parrying a few more times. But the figure was not swinging aggressively. True to their claim, Mei felt that they were interested in seeing what she could do. They stepped back again after the short skirmish. She looked around subtly to see if there was anyone else in the area, with awareness that there was no guarantee that this figure was alone. They could be trying to distract her so that others got in position. But listening closely, she heard no other sounds of movement. There didn''t seem to be anyone else here. This black knight was confident in their own abilities. And she saw as she looked that they noticed what she was doing and dropped their fighting stance temporarily to look up at the rooftops themselves.

    But she wanted to speed things up. She shifted to a more aggressive stance and rushed forward to try to disarm them. She quickly parried their blade multiple times and pushed forward to drive them back. She tried to slide her blade up theirs to get to their hand, but was surprised that they shifted stances quickly and began to push her back.

    She took a step back, glancing at the stairs and ramp ascending behind her. This person was good. Perhaps even good enough to learn her moves from fighting her too long. So she had to wrap this up before it became a problem. She took a few steps back, beginning to climb the stairs as the black knight followed her to continue to slash.

    But finally she saw an opening. She dashed suddenly forward, slashing at their sword and sending it across the alley, after which it stuck up in the ground at an angle. But she didn''t have a chance to corner them, because as the sword flipped away from them, they flipped backwards towards it, placing themselves close to its landing spot.

    The figure looked at the sword and back at her. Mei spoke up at them.

    ¡°You''re not fast enough. You won''t be able to beat me like this.¡±

    If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    The figure looked back down.

    ¡°That is true. But I am afraid that there is something I have not been totally honest about.¡±

    Mei felt suddenly nervous.

    ¡°And what is that?¡±

    The figure walked over to, and picked up the sword, now with their right hand.

    ¡°I was not using my dominant hand.¡±

    Mei braced themselves as the figure suddenly turned and rushed them, now moving faster. They swung at her now with much faster and surprising speed she could scarcely keep up with, putting her immediately off guard. They sent her sword out of her own hand, and she glanced at them, quickly diving for it and rolling, standing up to brace herself again.

    She was normally good at not underestimating an enemy. But this person was so good at clouding themselves from her that it was throwing her off. And she was starting to realize that she might now be in real danger.

    But she didn''t have much time to think. The figure was quickly on her again, slashing with both strength and speed that forced her on the defensive, giving her little in the way of an opening. She continued on like this for several parries, but was eventually forced back. The figure grabbed her with their other arm, holding her to the wall and holding their covered face up to hers, with her just barely blocking their blade with her own.

    She pushed back and slashed, causing them to jump backwards. But she could tell now that she was at a disadvantage. If she didn''t do something to turn this around soon, she was going to lose.

    They paused to look at her, speaking in their electronic voice.

    ¡°You are struggling.¡±

    She realized they could already tell she was at an unfavorable position. Her mind was beginning to race, thinking of what would happen to the others if they had to continue on without her.

    But no. Now was not the time. She calmed herself to breathe. She sublimated these thoughts. She wasn''t too prideful to admit the reality of the situation out loud. She looked back more confidently and held up her blade.

    ¡°It''s not over til it''s over.¡±

    The figure looked up, thoughtfully.

    ¡°It is for some. There are those who are doomed to nothing but humiliation from the moment they are born.¡±

    The figure started walking towards her.

    ¡°But you are right. It is better to be a fighter.¡±

    They crouched, readying themselves to jump forward.

    ¡°And then you can see just how far your determination can take you.¡±

    With these words, they dashed forwards swinging at her and putting her off balance. She tried to block, but was being pushed too quickly out of the way. She began stepping back again and tried using an ether shield as a defense, but she was now too far on the defensive, and they neutralized it quickly with an ether blast of their own. They swung her sword out of the way again and into the far wall and as she was now defenseless, kicked her over.

    Mei froze now. She was on the ground, confused about what just happened and running out of tricks she could use to buy time. She still had her guns, but with the figure standing directly over her, she would likely not be able to grab the guns in time if she tried. She could try grabbing their legs, but that wouldn''t be fast enough to avoid getting stabbed either. The figure looked down at her on the ground, holding the saber over her close to her body.

    ¡°Weak. Do you truly believe that you can resist the six heavens with strength such as this?¡±

    They softened their stance and turned their head to the side.

    ¡°Apologies. Force of habit.¡±

    Mei was getting more nervous now. This person knew who she was. They knew her intentions. But she knew nothing about them. And now she was disarmed. If it came to it, she could still try to push herself up and run. But she was starting to doubt whether even this would be successful. And even if she survived, this still reveals an entirely new element that they had not predicted.

    The black knight stared down at them without expression.

    ¡°I know what you are feeling. The feeling of being powerless. Of knowing that there is nothing more you can do. I too have felt this way. And I made a determination that I would never feel this way again.

    They stood up tall. For indeed they had a rather striking height.

    ¡°A time comes when one has to make a choice. Whether to live their life as a slave or to seize this power for themselves. Perhaps you do not yet understand my meaning. But you will.¡±

    Mei wasn''t sure how to respond. But she felt nervous and unable to respond at any rate. Unsure what to do. Unsure if there even was anything she could do. Her mind raced, feeling like she had to get tensed and ready to run. But she likely wouldn''t get far with them standing over her with a weapon.

    But at that moment she heard running and shouting from down the alleyway.

    ¡°Mei!¡±

    Isaac had rushed back, likely having heard the fight, as he was not far from her when it had started. He pointed his guns at the figure in a threatening stance. The figure looked back at him wistfully, like they were unimpressed.

    ¡°Please.¡±

    The figure quickly dashed away to a wall and scaled up it, disappearing from view before Isaac could do anything else. He looked around a few moments to make sure they were really gone, but then ran up quickly to Mei to see if she was injured, still glancing up from time to time just in case. Mei was still on the ground though, looking shocked and disoriented.

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    At first she didn''t respond. Isaac saw that she was in shock, and realizing that they might still be in danger, he looked up, and climbed up to the rooftop to see whether the figure was really gone or whether there was anyone else in the area. From the roof he could no longer see anyone though, and listening closely, he did not hear any movement in the immediate area. So after he waited long enough to be reasonably sure they were now alone, he climbed back down, though he still stole glances upwards from time to time.

    For awhile she did not seem able to respond. So he kneeled down by her and stayed there dutifully until she would be ready. But eventually, becoming gradually more lucid in stages, she slowly turned to focus in his vague direction. But as she did, she also slowly started to shake in panic now that her fight or flight response began to subside. He asked again, now in a softer tone, seeing what she was going through, and being empathetic to her suffering.

    ¡°Mei, what happened?¡±

    ¡°I... I don''t know. Someone showed up. I couldn''t...¡±

    ¡°Are you still injured?¡±

    She looked at her hands, and around her body.

    ¡°...No. I feel okay.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean? How did this happen?¡±

    Mei shook her head. She had been at a disadvantage in fights before. But usually it was for some type of extenuating circumstance. Either she was outnumbered, or at a tech disadvantage, or in some cases weak on account of already having sustained injury and blood loss. There were some people around her level, among the most skilled. But it had been a long time since someone simply outclassed her.

    ¡°You don''t get it, Isaac. It''s not because I''m tired. They beat me in single combat. They knew I would be here. They were waiting for me. Whoever they are, they know who we are, they know what we are planning, and... I couldn''t beat them.¡±

    Isaac turned pale. Or rather, slightly more pale than he was already.

    ¡°You don''t know who they were? Who they were working with?¡±

    She shook her head.

    ¡°I don''t know. They didn''t have temple insignia. And they didn''t seem to be a straggler from Weihong''s men. There was no indication at all who they are or what they want at all.¡±

    Isaac looked worried. He wasn''t sure what to make of this. If they really weren''t from the temple, it might mean a totally new group they have to worry about. It was implausible a random mugger could be this prepared. Fortunately, it might still be a small group, though. If it was larger or took more actions, they would likely have discovered it already. But they would still need to be on guard to try to figure out what was happening.

    But those considerations could wait. Looking down, he could see that Mei looked like she might be still having a panic attack. He didn''t know her to ever act this upset other than when having to deal with family. But perhaps there are things that can remind you of family all over. And he knew she was already bent out of shape from the fact that she would have to deal with them again soon. He sat down next to her and held her to comfort her. She was shaking and seemed unwilling to get up. But it was no matter. He could stay here as long as she needed.

    ¡°I felt powerless, Isaac. It''s one thing to lose. But this was a situation where winning didn''t even feel possible. It was like there was nothing I could do. I can''t be like this. There are people counting on me.¡±

    Isaac put his hand on her head like she used to do when he was younger. Well, younger, relatively speaking, that is.

    ¡°Its okay. They are gone; you are safe now.¡±

    He looked down. She was breathing heavily, almost hyperventilating.

    ¡°Take your time. Breathe with me.¡±

    Mei looked weakly in his direction. But she began to comply, trying to slow her breathing and using breathing meditative techniques. At first, this was not doing much. But gradually, she became more calm, visibly slowing her breaths. They waited there just like this for a long time, just sitting and breathing. Eventually, Isaac spoke again.

    ¡°Don''t strain yourself. You can''t be expected to do better than your best. All we can do is try to work out what the next step should be.¡±

    She listened to this, and then looked wistfully into the distance, donning a somber tone. She acted like she was about to speak several times before starting.

    ¡°I''m sorry, Isaac. I am the one who pulled you into this life. I wanted to be strong for you. But inside, I am the same afraid little girl I always was. I feel like I am lying to you about being strong. Lying to everyone. This fight made me feel like when I was young. When I was powerless to resist my family. When I almost...

    She trailed off. Isaac shook his head.

    ¡°You are strong, Mei. You are the strongest person I know. But no one can be strong all the time. Strength is nothing but how well you hide your weakness. You are the one who taught me that. And besides, I told you...¡±

    He stood up to walk in front of her and then held his arm down to her, standing with his face in shadow and with the moon behind him.

    ¡°I am here because I choose to be. And I am with you to the end. If we are taken to the very fires of Hell. You told me you believed in me once. Now believe in me when I say I believe in you.¡±

    She looked up at him, stunned. Gradually she reached for his hand. She hesitated and paused. But then, thinking it over, took it firmly, pulling herself up. This almost knocked him over on account of their size difference, causing them both to stumble and laugh.

    She smiled and looked back at him.

    ¡°Thank you, Isaac. I feel okay now. I think.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure?¡±

    She looked up at the stars.

    ¡°No. I never am. But I guess that is life, right?¡±

    ¡°Sometimes. But the future is not set in stone. And if you try for it, it doesn''t have to be.¡±

    ¡°Now who sounds like a self help book?¡±

    ¡°Still you.¡±

    They both laughed again. Mei looked up at him and adopted a softer tone.

    ¡°But really. Thank you for everything. I wouldn''t be able to do it without you.¡±

    He held up his finger to wag it.

    ¡°The people behind the symbol always have struggles of their own. But don''t worry. It can be our little secret.¡±

    She smiled.

    Good night. I''ll be alright now. I don''t think they are going to come back today. And when they do... well, we''ll be ready.¡±

    He waved back.

    ¡°See you tomorrow.¡±

    He stared after her semi-skeptically. He knew she likely still didn''t feel as well as she was pretending. But he trusted that she would be okay. At least for the time being. And it probably wouldn''t go over well if he demanded to come over and take all her sharp objects.

    He looked up at the moon one last time, thinking over the ebbs and flows of the day. People''s feelings and development weren''t always linear. They can shift back and forth in a cycle. And you have no choice but to just coast through it as the good and bad come. He too had bad days. And he probably always would. But this is the flow of the Tao. On and on.

    He turned around to head home as well, walking down the empty streets. Besides him, there was no other sound or motion all throughout the rest of the cold night.

 15: The White Omen

    Mei woke up, yawning a few times, and then looked at the ceiling. As she lied there staring aimlessly up to heaven, the previous day started flooding back, reminding her why she had the weird feeling that she had woken up with. Yesterday had been a rather heavy day, and she felt worn out from it both physically and mentally. Although she was no stranger to negative feelings, she wasn''t used to so many emotional highs and lows in quick succession. She felt a little embarrassed that Isaac had seen her like that, but if there was anyone who should, it was him. It wasn''t something she wanted to have to explain to anyone else.

    She thought about the mysterious figure she had had a run in with. Viewing the day through the lens of retrospect, she realized that her reaction to this wasn''t just about the figure. It was the culmination of all her feelings from everything that was on her mind. She figured she should probably go talk to a therapist about it again at some point. She didn''t want to end up in a dark room hunched over in a folding chair.

    But... maybe all of this was a good thing after all. Certain bad experiences can come with a sense of catharsis that it makes certain things more readily identifiable that were previously more hazy. And this can make them easier to deal with. In truth, she did feel a little better today. There was a kind of indefinable sense of coziness that comes with letting these feelings out. And this is what she felt like now.

    She looked around. She needed to eat, but she didn''t really want to get out of bed just yet. It was a cloudy day outside, and as she had curtains that blocked out most of the light, leaving her bedroom in a very chill shadowed atmosphere that she wanted to just soak in for awhile. Nobody called her yet, so she wasn''t in a hurry. So she reached over for her reader to spend some time reading more Bunker Man and Harry. Something felt very familiar about it, but it was hard to place.

    But she couldn''t read all day. Eventually she got up and stumbled her way into the bathroom to brush her teeth. As she did, she glanced at the mirror, pausing while doing this with her toothbrush still in her mouth. Even though she looked unkempt at the moment, there was something comforting to her about looking in mirrors. Seeing that you have a body gives you a feeling of existence. A sense of being. It can remind you that you aren''t just a centerless observer of the world around you.

    Looking over at her bathtub, she thought she should probably take a bath. She had been running around a lot yesterday, and she didn''t know when the techno-gnostics would want her back. Normally she was more likely to take a shower, but on days she did more activity, she would usually take a bath instead. This being one of the latter, she filled up the bath, and then once it was full, she took off her shirt and panties, climbing in.

    She let herself slide down to blow bubbles in the water. She was glad that the tub was inordinately long on account of her height. She had used short tubs before, and they were unpleasant if they didn''t leave enough room for your legs. She especially hated showers that didn''t even have a tub. Sometimes, even when taking a shower, she would lay on the floor of the tub, aiming the showerhead so that it wouldn''t hit her face, and just relax like that. She wasn''t sure if this was a normal thing that people did, but no matter. No one had to know.

    She took down her two blue rubber ducks, who she referred to as Matty and Sandy, and placed them on the side of the tub, facing her. Sometimes she would speak to them if she wanted someone to talk to in the bath. But today she felt like they would understand her feelings without her needing to say anything. And she just wanted the company. She stared at them and felt comforted by their non-judgmental stares. Like her two blue guardian angels who exist for comfort.

    After getting out of the tub, she was still uncertain whether to put on street clothes or house clothes for the moment because she was uncertain how soon they would contact her. She stood naked in front of her closet, thinking and stroking her face. But she ultimately chose to keep with underclothes for the moment because she didn''t want to have to change again.

    She opened her fridge to make herself a sandwich. She was skipping right to lunch because it was a little late to want to eat breakfast now. She wasn''t sure whether this was a good idea, but who was counting? Isaac didn''t need to know.

    She made her sandwich and started eating it at the counter, considering where she should sit to eat. She could go back and eat it in bed, but that might not be an ideal choice if she was trying to convey to the universe that she was doing okay. She didn''t want to go out on the balcony since she felt like staying inside for now. But she did like the dark shadows cast by an overcast day. So she wandered over to the door to look out it, only to be shocked when she got there.

    She stood there with her mouth open, as the sandwich slipped out of her hand to the floor rather than making its way there. Outside the window in the sky was a large structure that looked like it cut through space, sticking its way out into reality. She held her arm up, gesturing at it.

    ¡°What the hell is that?¡±

    The floating spectacle certainly had an intimidating presence, but she hadn''t yet been called for anything. They must have seen it already, so if they hadn''t called her, it was likely deliberate. She thought over this, thinking that it was possibly because they wanted her in top shape just in case anything happens again. Or maybe it wasn''t yet a threat.

    But either way, it also wasn''t yet her problem. She needed to eat, or else she would be too hungry for whatever else was about to happen for the day. So she sat down and finished her sandwich, all while suspiciously glancing at the floating geometric monstrosity.

    <hr>

    Isaac woke up and looked at his ceiling. He wondered how Mei felt about the previous day and about the fact that he had been there to witness it. In general, she showed him feelings that she never showed to anyone else. But she was more upset than usual of late. She wasn''t wrong that she had usually been the one to comfort him in the past. But he was happy that he could now do the same in return, despite everything. And that the years of studying ether that he had done in his parents'' house could finally be put to use despite everything.

    But he couldn''t sit around thinking all day. He had to get up and get ready for whatever would happen next. He jumped out of bed to head to the bathroom and took off his underwear to climb into the shower. As he was sensitive to touch, he hid behind the shower curtain until the water was warm enough, slowly reaching his hand out from time to time. After it was warmer and steam began to fill the room, he cautiously came out, and checking to make sure it was okay, stood under the warm water, thinking about the previous day.

    There was a lot to think about, of course. Especially if they were now shouldered with a new mysterious enemy. Mei claimed this person knew them. Which means there was no obvious upper limit to what else they might know about their mission. Was it someone who came from inside? This was the obvious thing to assume. But they would also know it was an obvious thing to assume. And so if it were true, they likely wouldn''t make themselves known so early. But it was something that couldn''t be ruled out.

    When he got out, he stood in front of the mirror for a time combing his hair and running his hands through it, doing various things generally taking care of his appearance. Unlike Mei, who by appearance alone came off like she wanted to come off standoffish and spent little time on it, Isaac wanted to come off sufficiently inviting, even if he was still rather small and shy. And if he got some degree of looks from it, that was no issue either. Though he considered that if he was weaker, he might be more intimidated by this. There was a certain privilege that came from being someone who wasn''t afraid of certain situations arising.

    He came out of the bathroom and stretched. He was alone and not sure how long it would be until they called him to come back, so he figured he didn''t need to bother putting on new clothes just yet. Especially since he would rather his clothes still be clean when he went out. He watered his potted palms and then went to the kitchenette to make himself some cereal, sitting down to eat it.

    As he was sitting naked on his couch eating cereal, he got a cyber message notification. He left the spoon in his mouth while picking up his phone. He hesitated for a second, considering that if he spilled on himself he might need to wash again, but he read it regardless. On his phone was the message, ¡°Look outside. There are triangles floating in the air.¡±

    Isaac blinked a few times. He thought it would be from headquarters, but it was from Mei instead. He started speaking out loud to himself in confusion.

    ¡°Mei, what are you talking about? What do you mean cubes?¡±

    He got up to look out the window but hesitated, remembering that he was still naked before deciding that he was high enough up that it didn''t matter. He looked out the window, only to be shocked that there was indeed some type of floating structure in the sky.

    ¡°Huh. I guess there are cubes. What... what exactly are these?¡±

    ¡°I mean, its really kind of... I think it is more triangular, I think.¡±

    Isaac stood there naked, rubbing his face in confusion. This had to be related to the temple somehow, but he wasn''t quite sure what he was looking at. But he would probably figure it out at the meeting once he was called for it. But he looked down at his phone again because he was receiving another message. This time it was finally a call to meeting. Though strangely, it had no sense of urgency in the wording. He was concerned about the fact that the message was worded this way, wondering if it was some kind of issue or sent under duress. But he needed to get to it regardless. He hurriedly finished the rest of his cereal and then went to get dressed.

    <hr>

    Mei strolled down her stairs with a determined look on her face. This was the ebb and flow of reality. She wasn''t ashamed over what had happened yesterday. Because what really matters is if you can carry through. And she was prepared to carry through, regardless of how she felt.

    As she got to the bottom of the stairs and strolled outside, she was called out to again and looked over to see Anjana sitting on the edge of the raised cement barrier. Although Mei did need to be on her way, it was not presented as an urgent hurry, so she walked over to talk to her, considering that a few minutes would not be a major difference.

    ¡°Hello Ann, how are you doing?¡±

    Anjana looked at her.

    ¡°Did you see that thing in the sky? They were talking about it on the vidscreen when my parents were watching. The temple says not to worry about it. That it is a white omen of good things to come.¡±

    Mei looked up at the odd, indefinable geometric shape.

    ¡°I''ve seen it. Just a few minutes ago though.¡±

    ¡°I''m... I''m scared, Mei. It feels like something dangerous is coming.¡±

    Mei looked down and closed her eyes.

    ¡°Have faith. I told you. It''s possible that one day soon this may all be over.¡±

    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    Anjana thought about this quietly, looking off into the distance for some moments. But eventually she made a face, looking like she was thinking and had something to say. But she wasn''t sure whether she wanted to come out and say it. Gradually, she turned to Mei slowly. And stared at her a long time before speaking.

    ¡°You... what you are doing has something to do with this, doesn''t it? You are going to go stop the temple. This is what you have been working on all this time.¡±

    Mei jumped suddenly. She hesitated, unsure of how to respond and nervous that this was something she was not supposed to let anyone else know.

    ¡°Don''t worry, Mei. I won''t tell anyone. Not even my friends. I''m not young anymore, I know that it''s important for no one to know it is you. That it could put you in danger if anyone knew.¡±

    Mei thought about this. It''s true that not everyone could guarantee that they could keep secrets long-term. But at this point, it wouldn''t need to be for very long. And at any rate, she already had to deal with the unfortunate fact that the black knight seemed to know where she lived. But Mei didn''t think they were going to make a house call. It seemed like for the moment they just wanted to prove a point. And whatever they were planning seemed like it might still be a ways off. Of course, that still leaves the temple. But she had to make a judgment call.

    She went to sit down next to Anjana on the concrete and looked over to her, smiling.

    ¡°Thank you. And yes. This is something I have to do.¡±

    Anjana looked up at her.

    ¡°Who else knows?¡±

    Mei thought for a moment.

    ¡°No one. Not other than the people I work with, that is. There was one couple that I told as a snap judgment, but they would be in hypersleep by now. And won''t be awake again for a long time.¡±

    Anjana looked down and smiled.

    ¡°Then that means I am special.¡±

    Mei thought about it and then looked over at her.

    ¡°I suppose it does. You know, you are the only one who figured it out. Not even the temple knows. So make sure not to say it to anyone.¡±

    ¡°I said I wouldn''t.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡±

    Anjana thought about it, then put her hands up to her cheeks.

    ¡°I don''t suppose you could use some help?¡±

    Mei looked like she was thinking.

    ¡°I could probably use it. I haven''t been having the best week. But you know I can''t let you be around danger.¡±

    ¡°I''m just joking.¡±

    ¡°I know that too.¡±

    Anjana kicked her legs forward and back. She looked down, thinking for awhile.

    ¡°You''re going to stop them, right? The temple?¡±

    Mei looked at her.

    ¡°I can try my best. But no promises. I won''t lie to you; there are some things even I can''t do. And this is something that will be difficult even for me. But...¡±

    She closed her eyes.

    ¡°I''m going to give it everything. For you. For everyone.¡±

    Mei hesitated for a long time.

    ¡°And... for me. This is something I have to do for myself, too. I owe it to my younger self.¡±

    Anjana looked up at Mei.

    ¡°Your younger self?¡±

    Mei looked down somberly.

    ¡°I suppose you could say it is something I need to prove to myself. That I don''t have to live as a slave.¡±

    She thought about it for awhile, and then turned to Anjana.

    ¡°I guess I never really talked about this much with you before. Not very openly, at least. But my parents were very similar to yours. I dealt with a lot of verbal and sometimes even physical abuse when I was young. As a result, I grew up with very low self-esteem. And when young, I allowed them to make all my choices for me. Including one that is... difficult to take back.¡±

    She reflexively stroked her left arm.

    ¡°They gave me something binding. And at that point I felt like there was no escape for me. It got so bad that I...¡±

    Mei trailed off suddenly, considering that this might not be something she should say to someone so young. But Anjana put her hand on Mei''s back.

    ¡°Did you try to kill yourself, Mei?¡±

    Mei jumped internally again and then looked at her sadly.

    ¡°I know what you are thinking, Mei. That I am too young for you to say this to. But these are things that even I know. There was... someone in my school who killed themselves. They were younger even than I am now. I knew her, but I wasn''t very close to her. But one day you come in to school, and they are just gone. And then you never see them again.

    ¡°At the time, I didn''t get it. Why someone would do that. But now... I think I do. I don''t feel that way myself. But I know why someone would. And I understand their reasons.¡±

    Mei was still hesitant and sad over what she was being told. But Anjana was right. And she wasn''t a child anymore. Mei turned to her to speak.

    ¡°...Yes. At the lowest point of my life, I did try to kill myself. But when I came to see death face-to-face, I realized that this isn''t what I wanted. And that it wasn''t time for me to die. I came to understand that what I really wanted was to be free. To be free to live my life without being bound by the chains that I knew so well. So I came back. So that I could cut them. Not just for me. But for everyone who is bound by them.¡±

    Anjana looked up at her.

    ¡°Mei... I''m sorry. I never realized you had so many problems too, just like me. I just thought you were there as... someone to comfort me. I guess that even as an adult, that problems won''t necessarily all be solved, huh. That''s a bit intimidating, to be honest.¡±

    Mei put her finger on her head.

    ¡°It''s true, not all problems can be aged out of. And sometimes new ones will come up too. But you can keep working on them. And if you try hard, tomorrow will be better than today. I can''t do much about your family. But I hopefully can about the temple. And if we work at it together, things can be a lot better for a lot of people.¡±

    Anjana looked listlessly off into the distance at some of the turning gears that adorned the facade.

    ¡°Tell me, Mei. What did you see? When you looked into the abyss and saw death itself.¡±

    Mei looked back down, with the infinite expanse of her black eyes reflecting the light of the sun back at Anjana.

    ¡°I saw motivation. I understood what it was to be carried forth ceaselessly. Be born. Live. Die. And be born again. But it is within this cycle that your path lies. And if you lose it, you can never get that time back again. So I came back with a message. I am... the messenger of death. This is something I need to pass on. And to do this, I need to free those who weren''t capable of walking their own path. In their own lives. We can only march forward. And do what we can against the temple. Things will eventually come to a head with them. And at the end of days, fate will see which of us will be the ones that will survive.¡±

    Anjana nodded. And then stood up.

    ¡°I believe in you, Mei. I always will.¡±

    Mei closed her eyes and smiled.

    ¡°Heh. Well, at least one of us does.¡±

    ¡°Mei, don''t talk like that.¡±

    ¡°I know I shouldn''t. Isaac would chew me out if he heard. I will try to believe in myself too. But I need to go now. We need to figure out what exactly is up with the structure in the sky.¡±

    Mei herself stood up. And they both smiled and made thumbs-up signals at each other.

    ¡°Tam biet.¡±

    ¡°Tam biet.¡±

    <hr>

    Mei strolled into the meeting place. She could see at a glance that this meeting was a little different than some others. Low-level operatives were not present, and only decently high-ranked people were there. This meant that whatever was about to be told to them would be high-level classified. Something important they needed to not get out.

    She quickly spotted Isaac and strolled over to him. They still had a little bit of time before anything began on account of the fact that people were instructed to come at different times to keep it from being noticed.

    Isaac waved and looked over at her. Mei smelled like a sandwich, but he didn''t want to ask questions. Or rather, he did, but not about that. Or rather, he did want to ask about that but figured he probably shouldn''t. He had something more important to ask anyway.

    ¡°Are you alright?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I''m okay. I was just having a bad day yesterday. But... you already knew that. I think I am over it.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    Isaac shook his head and responded in a humorous tone.

    ¡°Well, try to keep it together. Mom said it is my turn for a breakdown next.¡±

    As if to challenge him, Mei started counting on her fingers.

    ¡°Can you slot one in for next Tuesday?¡±

    ¡°No, I have ah... something for that day already.¡±

    "Well, you don''t get to be picky if you don''t have the free time. Also, don''t tell me about it.¡±

    He laughed slightly, embarrassed, and looked down.

    ¡°But really. I''m glad you''re doing better.¡±

    ¡°For now.¡±

    ¡°For now.¡±

    They both looked up to a sound at the front of the room. The briefing was about to start. Many people began filing in to seats, but some others remained standing in the back. In the front, Tsubasa, a man from HQ, was wearing a fitted suit, putting an image of the spatial phenomenon on a screen behind him, after which he began speaking.

    ¡°We will cut to the chase so as not to waste any time. We are here to talk about the spatial phenomenon cutting through space into our world. It was made visible earlier today, in the early morning, and we have been observing it ever since. But aside from its appearance on our plane, it has not taken any notable actions.

    ¡°This structure is fortunately not an unknown to us. We have already placed a name to the appearance. This structure is the Vimerkanah, the chariot of heaven. It is something that has been known to mankind since ancient times, manifesting at limited times within our plane. If this name is not familiar to you, this is likely no surprise. Because by our records it has not been seen by humans in over a thousand years.

    ¡°Its purpose is thus. Since there are limits to what can cross over to our plane from hyperspace, as well as the degree to which it can remain, it is used as a kind of vehicle to act in place of them. Or as a storage facility. In essence, it is like a manifestation of the higher plane itself into a portal that can be used to interact with our plane of Di.

    "Ordinarily, what it can do would be more limited. But the temple has been working on something that they intend to use it for for some time. In some years past, a late operative of ours named Julius Kai and the defector Feng Weihong who was still with us at the time, discovered in Hyperborea a divine armor that they were attempting to get through onto our plane. Fortunately, they did not succeed. While it did partially make its way through, it was destroyed in the process. But from this, our operatives managed to retrieve something of sufficient importance to us. The Key of Epinoia.

    ¡°However, now the temple will be able to bring forth divine machines for real. These are massive battle armors that will be charged with ether weapons unlike anything the world has ever seen. They aren''t technically indestructible, but they are something that would be very difficult to face head-on. The Vimerkanah will most likely be the way they are manifesting these. Being in orbit above the planet.¡±

    Someone in the front row raised their hand and was called on.

    ¡°This seems like it should be an urgent matter for us. Why wasn''t this meeting called with a sense of urgency?¡±

    Tsubasa nodded, noting the point.

    ¡°On its face, it may seem like something we need to act on right away. But this is actually not the case. In fact, we actually predicted that this would become manifest ahead of time. From the initial discovery in the past, we came to know that they were constructing these divine armors in order to get them past the barrier. Because these will have an easier time staying on our plane, and have a further reach than the demons of Sakras. In truth, we actually weakened the barrier deliberately in order to provoke them into acting. We knew it was coming, so we took action so that we could predict when and where this happened.¡±

    ¡°We had operative Lan Xiumei...¡±

    He pointed to the back of the room where Mei was standing, causing her to have sudden, intense hatred for the one speaking as everyone in the room turned to look at her.

    ¡°...Be sent to make contact with and manipulate the Ouroborous Compass so as to weaken the barrier in a way we could predict. This had a double-purpose since we have good reason to believe that they are going to adjust to the timescale we laid out and likely work on this as fast as possible, it gives us the ability to predict within some margin of error how long it will take for them to complete. Rather than rush to attack them right away, this was actually our intention. We designed a plan to draw out as many of their divine machines as possible.¡±

    The same one who had spoken earlier spoke up again.

    ¡°To get them into one place, so we have a chance take all of them down at once.¡±

    ¡°Precisely. They likely won''t risk sending them down one at a time, where they will be more vulnerable. They will most likely try to ensure they are all manifest together before taking any actions. This will take them actually quite a bit of time. By our estimations, it could be several months. This will give us a better opportunity to prepare for it. We will create a team devoted to round the clock activity of keeping tabs on this so that we can adjust our timescale based on new developments if needs be.

    ¡°That being said, I won''t lie to you, though. Even with this, the odds, as always, are against us. But we had no choice but to move now. Now is when we obtained the key. And we have no knowledge of how long the key will remain an effective strategy. So it was now or never to draw them out. If we miss this opportunity, we may not have another chance for hundreds of years.¡±

    ¡°We have various information to give you personally. And we will give further instructions to each of you in turn to prepare for the coming weeks. But bear in mind that this information is to be kept with the utmost secrecy. The temple does not know that we planned for their timescale. And our only advantage comes from the fact that they do not know that we planned under this assumption. But for now, you are disbanded. And may the blessings of Tian protect you.¡±

    As the presentation ended, the people who were sitting began to stand up and move about. Some who had no further directions at the moment left right away, but some stayed to compare notes with others or to receive further instructions. But Mei and Isaac stayed behind. Because they had something more concerning to share with HQ. And they weren''t sure whether it was a good idea for more people than needed to know about it. They strolled to the front to speak with Tsubasa.

    ¡°There is one other thing we need to speak to you about. One that is perhaps more concerning. It is about last night...¡±

 16: The Sphere of Lost Children

    My name is Tuan Do. This name is something that I am bound by. For name is identity. And none can escape their identity. Save only in death.

    For as far back as I can remember, something has always felt off about my life. This was not something easy to place. I felt as if when I was looked at, people saw through me. Like they talked to an image of me that I could not recognize. A vessel that contained my shape but which did not contain my essence. And it brought me great pain that I felt that no matter what I did, I could never be seen. Like my form was a living lie that coalesced into the world only to mislead those who could not comprehend the ineffable that it contained.

    In truth, most people were not very cruel to me when I was young. From when I... was a young boy growing up in Ho Ton Tinh, save for dismissing my emotional concerns, most of my family were rather kind. Kind, at least to what can be seen as a realistic standard, that is. So it only made it more difficult to place what it was that ailed me, when it seemed like by all accounts I should have been happy. Like I was ungrateful for what I was given, and something was fundamentally broken about me.

    More is the pity though that even this initial situation did not last. For a moment came where everything changed. In the process of soul-searching, I touched something that must never be touched. And beyond that path, it was no longer only me who could not be recognized.

    In the blink of an eye, suddenly the love of everyone around me turned to scorn. And I found now that they began to see me at last. I could almost say I reveled in it. Because I was finally observed in the way I had hoped for for so long. But this too would be a lie. For I was wholly unprepared for the form this would take and for the destruction that it would cause within me. And though I tried my best to hide the self that they had now seen, it was too late to put it back in the box of curses. I was seen by them now and forever. And my life became a wandering beneath a wall of glaring eyes that from here to eternity would never let up.

    As I moved into early high school, the glares pervaded past my family and into the school itself. I found myself ostracized by teachers, by family, even by old friends. And I could not understand it. For to me, nothing had truly changed. It was like they could see something I could not. And I understood not from whence their ire had come.

    I became very lonely. My stigma had made it difficult to make new friends. And it was not for want of trying. So at school, I often ate alone and then had nothing to do but return home after. But I had little to do at home either. My parents had begun to grow distant as well. Before, they would pressure me in terms of school. And it felt ominous that they did not even do this anymore.

    And all this while, the pain had never let up. I feel like my body is a prison. I claw at myself until I bleed, as if trying to let out my hidden self, which resides within. But inside there is nothing. I reach inside of me searching, but there is no other self. I am me. And the me that I am is one that I hate. I myself am the prison. If the bars are taken down, there is nothing left. My identity will spill out like it had never been, leaving behind nothing in its wake.

    I look into the mirror to see what it is that others see in me. But I find myself afraid to look at mirrors. Their crystal sheen making me feel like I am seeing through to another corrupted plane. Beyond which is a demonic force taking on my guise only to laugh at and to torment me. Though I suppose such a concern is meaningless. For I am already on another plane. And there are already demons here to torment me.

    <hr>

    I woke up once again. It was daytime now. Or perhaps night. Where I am, this distinction had no meaning. I don''t know where I am. Or how I got here. I can''t even describe what ¡°here¡± is. I am on some form of planetoid, floating adrift in I know not what. It is not very large. Perhaps a square mile of surface. But it was not in space. Not regular space at any rate. It was in some nebulous ether. Up above was an appearance I had no words for. It was like nothing I had ever seen. I often found myself just lying on my back, looking up at the colorful clouds and surreal sheen of the sky, and basking in it. It''s not like I had much else to do anyways.

    I do not know how I got here. Over time, I found my family was growing more distant. And then one day, they were simply gone. I woke up here, as if I had been thrown out of reality, and I have been here ever since. No goodbye. No explanation. I feel as if they have abandoned me. But even then, that gives me no explanation for how I got here. Or why it happened. And perhaps one would never come. For there seems to be no way to leave this place. And I am doomed to remain in this space without ever getting closure on my life.

    Life? I had considered before that perhaps this was death. For I had no other explanation for how I had gotten here. But I did not feel dead. Or perhaps I did feel dead, but not in that literal of a way. I do wonder though what death feels like. I was still imprisoned. Still trapped in my body, shaped by the dependent origination of forces I could not control. I wondered, how would it feel as the pain pours out?

    I got up out of my makeshift bed. I slept near to Joshua, a boy who I found here around my own age. When I found myself on this planetoid, I was not the only one. There were five others. Though other than Joshua, the other boys and girls were several years younger than us. There were bits and pieces of the real world in with us too. Though we know not from whence they came. Me and Joshua are forced to act like guardians to these children. But what can I do? I am a child myself.

    I myself would not have been capable of doing this if I were alone. Trying to maintain a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos, Joshua drew up a plan with me to follow. We would try to establish normality for these younger children and to keep them from feeling lost. Fortunately, on this planetoid, there was access to food. At least for now. This may become a problem in the future if we are here long enough. But for the moment it was not. This left us room to focus on other things.

    Two of the children were quite young and did not even understand their predicament. They were unsure where their families were or how they had gotten here. I suppose that makes three of us. But we tried to keep them from understanding that they may be here deliberately. That this may be a kind of dumping ground for lost children. For those who are unwanted. But if they are not wanted outside, we can at least make them feel they are wanted here. They would still pine for their families. And all we could tell them is that we did not know at what point they might return. That they should think of this like a form of camping. Sometimes lies can be a merciful thing.

    From the ruined parts of real buildings that were on the surface, we constructed various rooms that had a familiar shape, one of which was a makeshift schoolroom. On one side we cleared a wall to use chalk on, which is something we were lucky enough to find a few pieces of. There were a few building structures with us that seemed to be from earth buildings, so we could spare the extra space to do so. Many of them had no ceiling, but there was little weather here to speak of, and the temperature was not extreme, so this was not so large a concern. We had no working clocks, and there was no day or night cycle here to keep a schedule. So we simply pulled the children in to teach them things at random intervals. Various of them slept at different times. Me and Joshua originally talked about whether this mattered. But as there was no external schedule to keep in tune with here and little in the way of overt danger, we decided against forcing it.

    I stood in front of the room teaching the younger children basic letters. They were not all the same age. Some of them were too old for this information. But we cycled what we taught them. I looked at the children in front of me when doing so. And despite everything, I felt a little happy. For I felt more understood here by their nonjudgmental eyes than I had ever been outside. But at the same time I was jaded. For I had no knowledge of whether we would ever leave this place. And if we did not, it is hard to say how any of this knowledge might serve them. There were a handful of books in here with us. So at least the ability to read would give them access to this. But beyond this, there was nothing. We taught them this information for a hopeless future. For what life can there be for the forsaken?

    But my pain lied not only in our setting. For though my family was no longer here, I feel that their voices still haunt me. Bearing down on me like they were the big other. Like they were the symbolic order of society from which I cannot escape. I am nowhere. Outside of reality itself. Yet I still feel judged by them. And I still feel uncertain how to understand this judgment. Judgment of a quality that has always been with me but which I have never understood.

    After the lesson, I sent the children on their way, staring blankly after them, wondering if they would soon feel as empty as I do. But we tried to keep them entertained in the hope that this would not happen. There were a few toys with us, though not very many. So we had to makeshift some more for them out of the things we found here. But we had plenty of time, so we found ways to be creative. We had limited clothes as well, so the children at times had to wear clothes that weren''t designed for their sex. But they did not seem to mind this, and some of them were even pleased to, so it was not so large a concern.

    Feeling once again disjointed and like I couldn''t hold onto my sense of self, I began to cry into my hands for a long while. As this subsided, I went off to find Joshua. For he was the only one for whom I had ever felt comforted to share my feelings. And for those who are younger, I felt it would be too harsh, so I kept them in the dark.

    <hr>

    Often I would take the children on walks around the sphere. Although it was limited in size, it was still large enough to be able to change your scenery if you walked among it. There were different sections that were covered in curious things. In one portion there was a field of roses. And in another, some large trees. In a third, what looked like miniature versions of inactive volcanoes. One of the more curious was a single black monolith. I know not from whence any of this came. For the sphere itself did not seem to be a natural emergence. But various things and parts of reality seemed to be pulled onto it from somewhere, like it was a cosmic dumping ground. At times, I hoped that perhaps this was how I got here as well. That me and the others had not been rejected, and that this was all a cosmic accident. That somewhere out there there was someone still looking for me. But I knew that this was false.

    On that day, I was watching the children and walking with them so as to give Joshua a rest. I feel like talking to Joshua helps me understand myself. Like there is a puzzle that is beginning to connect but for which I just can''t find the final pieces for. His presence comforts me. More than a normal friend. Though I don''t know what this feeling implies either.

    I watched over the younger children as they played and felt, for a moment, happy. I had been here now for what I estimated to be several months and felt that we had done decently with what we were given. I was surprised at how much normality we had managed, despite everything. There was still much we were missing, of course. But we had devised activities and even facsimiles of normal rooms like a kitchen or living room. Though we could not replicate vidscreens unfortunately, and for this I felt a great loss. For that would have been a large source of activity.

    I brought the children back to make food, and then after this sat down to eat with them. Our food selection was not amazing, but at least we had food at all. And even enough for some degree of variety in what we eat. These were small comforts. But we did what we could. And in my better moments, I considered that it might even be possible for us to escape this place one day. After all, there must have been a way in. So could there not also be a way out? All we need to do is survive. And in time we might find a way. We can manage that... right?

    But fate is not always so kind. And on that day, our world was changed forever.

    Later that day, I was walking around to look for the children to gather them for a short lesson. I was considering that my own knowledge was rather limited, and so there was much we could not share with them. But we could at least be assured they came to understand up to our own level of basic subjects.

    Looking out to the distance, I saw some form of concerning shape. I could not tell what it was at first. It looked like some type of bird. But this seemed impossible. For we had been here (wherever here is) a long time, and there had never been birds here before. Or animals at all for that matter. But its appearance seemed ominous, so I figured I had best check it out.

    I began to make my way towards the shape. I had heard the sounds of children playing earlier. But now it had become deathly quiet. I was getting more worried for the duration of my trek, until ultimately I heard screams in that direction. I began to run. But I was not prepared for what I found when bounding over the next hill. For on the other side were the bodies of two of the children, with monstrous demonic entities standing above them. At the moment, I could scarcely process what I was seeing. For I had never seen any being like this before. And even in light of where we were, I could not comprehend such a thing existing.

    I froze, unsure of what to do. I was afraid for my life, fearing whether they would turn and see me. I felt guilt, like I should run in for the children, being not quite able to process what I was seeing, even though at a glance it was obvious they were already dead. I stood there for so long that had the creatures noticed and came for me, I would have perished instantly. But they took little interest, having prey already in front of them.

    But eventually, one looked up and in my direction. And I will never forget that face. I had seen them as beasts. But it seemed to look at me with intentionality. And in this intentionality was... apathy. Like I did not matter to it. It did not see me as a threat. It didn''t even care to come consume me at the moment. It looked at me like I was nothing. Like it could see right through me. And in that moment, my old overpowering feelings of being an empty shell began to come back once again.

    But my senses came back to me. I began to run back to the ruins we used as living spaces, shouting for Joshua. I had no clue how to even begin to approach the issue. And my only hope was that he would be more knowledgeable on what to do than I.

    Hearing my frightened calls, he came out running to see me. I turned around to see if they were following, but they were not yet. I tried to describe to him what was happening, but he struggled to understand. And he acted skeptical at first, though he understood that this was a serious matter and that he needed to prepare for what was about to happen.

    But before there was time to do anything else, he looked over and saw them for himself. Large monstrous creatures who were now coming slowly in our direction. And he knew now that what I saw was real. We quickly brought the other children inside in the hopes of keeping them away from the creatures. But I did not know what else we could do. Walls would not protect us. We could hope that they are not aware enough to find us in the building. But that seemed more than a little implausible. I sat the children against the wall and then sat down myself with my face in my hands.

    Eventually I looked to Joshua in despair. But my face turned cold seeing his expression of determination. He looked out the window off into the distance for a long time. And then looked back at me to speak.

    ¡°I am going to go out there to fight them. If we stay in here, they will come for us. I can''t let that happen. If I do, we will all die together.¡±

    He turned fully to me.

    ¡°You stay here. I know it is dangerous. But someone has to survive to take care of the children.¡±

    I began to protest. But he cut me off before I could speak.

    ¡°Make no mistake, I don''t intend to die here. I intend to drive them off. But just in case, we can''t both go.¡±

    My face turned white, and I began to plead with him.

    ¡°No, Joshua. If you go out there, you''ll die! You can''t... I can''t do this without you. I''m nothing by myself.¡±

    He put his hand on my shoulder.

    ¡°You have to learn to believe in yourself. And believe also in me. This is something I have to do. Just wait for me. I''ll be back.¡±

    He leaned in to give me a long hug. I don''t know how long it lasted, but it seemed to go on through endless time. He tried to pull back, but I would not let him go. I began to cry once again as he pulled my arms off of him to get up and head out. He walked out slowly, and I watched after him as he came face to face with the demons, holding up a metal rod he had brought out as a makeshift weapon. This weapon was something we had kept hidden from the children. We kept it in case of danger, for we could not be certain that we would never be attacked. Though we hoped that we would never need it.

    ¡°Stand back, filth. I will show you the power of human will. I w...¡±

    But he did not get to finish speaking. I cried out in shock and dismay as he was swatted to the ground in a single hit, blood spurting out in a way that made it clear at a glance that he died instantly from one swipe. The demons heard my voice, so I retreated back further into the room, telling the children to stay back and to hide.

    I went numb. I was in denial at what I had just seen, having witnessed three deaths now in quick succession. I felt so overpowered with emotion that it made my feelings shut off, making me feel very empty. And in too much fear to process it clearly for the moment. I sat with my head in my hands, feeling powerless, at the back of the room, hoping the demons would not come for us.

    <hr>

    I woke up the next morning, not even having remembered dozing off. Looking around the room, it seemed like the other two were still there with me, though they were huddled in fear, uncertain of what would happen next. So perhaps the demons had left and had left us be for the moment. I got up to see what happened and exited the room, wondering if I would need to hide Joshua''s body from the eyes of the other children. But when I came outside, he was simply gone. No body. No signs of a struggle. As if he had never been.

    If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    It made me feel almost dreamlike. As if Joshua and the others were nothing but hallucinations. But it was in this moment I realized he was gone for real. I collapsed to the ground and burst into tears, inconsolably. The two remaining children put their hands on me, trying to console me. But it was little comfort. I laid on the ground, clutching the place his body had fallen. The place that was now burned into my mind. And forever after, when I looked there, it was like I still saw his body falling. As if it were frozen in time, unable to fade.

    I tried to continue on for the remaining children, but I had lost my motivation. I believed now that we were all going to die here sooner or later. And probably sooner. So all of it began to feel pointless. I had love for Joshua that I had never had for anyone before. I did not totally understand it myself at the time. But now that he was gone, I did all too well. I began going through the motions. But all the while I was waiting for the demons to come once again, assuming now that there was no escape for us. If they came back, what could I even do? We could hide, but we could not fight them.

    The children noticed my changed demeanor. And I believed this affected them as well. And for this I began to feel intense guilt and self-hatred. For I could not pull myself to act normal living through a situation that felt hopeless. I began to merely sit around, staring into space, leaving them to their own devices. I didn''t even bother with the schooling anymore.

    I tried to put it out of my mind. I tried to focus on the positives. But I could not find a way to be happy now that I had no peer here with me to help by taking charge. Now that we sat over the graves of three like us who were dead. And now that it felt like this remaining time was slowly coming to a close. It is a funny feeling being nostalgic for the extremely recent past. A past that at the time you were not happy to be in. But now it seems like if you could just return to it, everything could be alright. After all, even back then, this is how I thought about my earlier life. But I did not feel at ease then either.

    But in the end, the day finally came. The demons came back a second time. And this time, without Joshua''s calm demeanor, I had no clue how to even approach it. I told the children to sit in a ring together, looking inward and closing their eyes. And I closed my eyes with them, lying to them that everything would be alright. I did not know what would happen past this point. But it felt like it was outside of our hands. I began to pray, hoping the providence of Sakras would protect us. But I did not feel like this would do much. For I no longer felt like anyone was watching over us. Once again, I was invisible. Not just me. All of us. We would live and die out here at the ends of infinity, with no one to even cry for us. And none would bother remembering that we ever were.

    I felt the presence of the demons enter into the room with us. I did not know what would happen. I intended not to open my eyes. But in the last moment I did. Seeing them lifting up the children and being filled with rage, I stood up to rush them, no longer caring what happened to me. But they pushed me back, slamming me against the wall and knocking me out. And I knew nothing more of what happened that night.

    <hr>

    I woke up once more and looked around. And I realized now that one of the worst-case scenarios had come to pass. Because not only one, but both remaining children were now gone. I peeked outside the door to see if anyone still remained there, but I saw no one. I wandered around calling for them in the hopes that they were merely hiding. But I found no one outside either. I slumped to the ground, now feeling totally empty and uncertain where to go from here. Why did the demons leave me? Was it to mock me for my powerlessness?

    In the end, I was alone. I wandered around, not knowing what to do. Eventually, I walked back to the space where we had made a makeshift schoolroom. But now the whole activity felt like it had been a futile effort. But seeing this did give me an idea. I did something that did not occur to me to do earlier. And in the absence of anything else to focus on, went back to create graves for the others who were lost. I was not sure if all of them were really dead. But I figured that I would not see them again either way. I said a prayer for their souls and the hope that wherever they were, living or dead, that they could be at peace.

    I reflected on the fact that they were there with me, wondering how they had gotten there as well. Were they also unwanted? Were they also those cast out for violating the imperceptible but all powerful social order by those they trusted most? I reflected on the fact that in all my time with them, I had not asked this of them. Perhaps I was afraid. Not just for them, but for myself. Because who am I? I wish I could protect all those who were rejected like I was. That we could band together in solidarity against those who had forsaken us. But I did not even know why I was rejected. And I had no power to do so either way. I was given one chance to be a protector, and I could do nothing. The deaths of all of them weigh heavily on me.

    Having no one else to live for now, it occurred to me that I could also take my own life. And then finally the pain could stop. But I figured that doing this would barely have a point anyways. The demons would come back for me. And sickening though it made me feel, I felt like I would at least rather not die alone. And even if it were for so dark a purpose, I would rather die knowing I was wanted for at least something, if only to be consumed.

    I kept eating, sleeping, drinking. Doing everything that people do to stay alive. But I was no longer sure why I did these things. I was only staying strong for them. And now that they are gone, I can no longer say what my purpose is. Even if the demons never come back, so what? I don''t know how to escape this place. And I don''t know how long I can stand being here alone. I walked to and fro among the ruins. Read the few books over and over. Lived the same life every day. With no one around, I was free to be who I wanted. But if you are alone, are you really anyone? Clothes can reveal your identity. But what is identity when there is none to see it? And who would I even be if given a chance?

    But in the end, I never had to make a decision. The time finally came. It was day or night. Such distinctions had no meaning here. And I saw the demons come again one final time. At this point, I was no longer sure if I even cared. For all my feelings now felt as hollow as the shell that encapsulates me. I could tell that they had seen me as well, looking back at them from inside the building. And they began to move slowly in my direction. Leisurely, as if they knew I could not escape, and so there was no need of haste. I stood there to watch for a long time, having nothing else to do.

    I saw the demons begin to close in. I considered my options. But at this point there was no longer anything I could do. I could not run. I could not hide. In the past, when there were others, I could hope that perhaps they did not count all of us. That at some point they would simply leave and leave us be. But there was no longer anyone else. They were here now, for me, and me alone. I felt a kind of twisted glee, knowing that at least one final time my presence mattered to something.

    I suppose if I really wanted, I could try to buy a few minutes by backing off. But what would I do with a few more minutes? I walked out to meet them. Not confidently, but resigned. The end comes for everyone. For some, it must just come a bit sooner after all. There is no karma in this world. I could not expect justice, having seen it denied to the others around me. And I wondered, if I could do it all again, would I still touch that which must not be touched? It was something so simple to put on. And it meant so much to me. I could not understand why it inspired such hatred. I wondered, were the other children here for the same reason? I suppose now I would never know.

    But I stopped my contemplation suddenly, as a shocked expression came onto my face. For I saw that I was not alone. What I saw in front of me was so surprising that at first I was not sure whether I was hallucinating. For in front of the old building looking at the demons was an older man covered in a circle of light, wearing monk robes, and holding a long walking staff. Seeing me come out, he looked over to me, though his own face did not show any tone of surprise. He looked around, most likely to see if there were any others with me, but seeing no one, he walked over to me and began to speak. His voice was soft, bearing a tone that before now I had never heard.

    ¡°How does one fall out this far? In the far reaches of infinity?¡°

    I was confused what he was asking at first. But I realized that he was asking me how I arrived in this place. I looked back at the demons, out in the field, but which were coming closer. But they did not seem to be in any hurry. So we had time to speak before the end.

    ¡°I... I don''t know. I don''t even know where I am. I have been here for many months. But there is no day or night here, so I don''t know how long.¡°

    ¡°Are there others with you?¡±

    ¡°...There was. But I am alone now. The demons would come and take us from time to time. And now, there is no one left.¡±

    I didn''t intend this. But I began to cry.

    ¡°They were children. Most of them. I was supposed to protect them. But against the demons, I couldn''t do anything. They trusted me, but I let them die.¡±

    The monk looked down, contemplating, and made a gentle face in my direction, overpowering.

    ¡°There is not always something you can do. What is important is that you tried. But for now, it is at least good that you survived. And your life too has value.¡±

    ¡°Yes, but...¡±

    ¡°Come, walk with me.¡±

    He began to walk. I wasn''t sure what to do, but realizing I had nothing else to do at the moment but be hunted, I began to follow him. I looked back in fear, for the demons were growing nearer and now following us closely. But despite this, they kept their distance, either unwilling or unable to enter within the ring of light that surrounded him. Sensing my terror, he spoke back to me as he walked.

    ¡°Fear not. If you stay close, they will not be able to harm you.¡±

    These words brought me little comfort. For there were several demons, and they remained just out of reach, making me feel like if I were to fall behind I would be quickly devoured. I did not know whether he could be certain they would not come close to him, but I had no other options at the moment, and so followed quietly, all the while looking back to see them trailing us, skittering around and waiting patiently as if to see when we would become vulnerable once again.

    We continued walking, demons in tow, bringing us back to the monolith. He put his hand on it, feeling around as if looking for something or sensing its properties. But when he was satisfied, he stuck his staff into the ground, lighting up his other hand to touch the monolith. As he did so, the ground began to open, cracking and shifting to allow a way down beneath the surface. And I was shocked. For in all the time I had been here, this was something that before now I had never seen.

    I looked up at him in amazement. For these were things I had never seen a human do. And, feeling now more lucid, I wanted to ask about what it was that I had seen.

    ¡°I have been here so long. But I still have no idea. Do you know what this place is?¡±

    He picked up his staff, and began to descend to the level below. I followed him dutifully.

    ¡°This is the cosmic egg. A quantum singularity core. It is said that when this emerged from Tehom, the primordial sea of possibility, and was opened, it was from this that Sakras emerged. And from the egg was differentiated the line that divided the heavens from the earth.¡±

    I looked up at him, shocked. I had heard stories like this when I was young, but I had never taken them particularly seriously.

    ¡°But that''s not real, is it? It''s just a myth.¡±

    He continued on, glancing slightly back.

    ¡°Who is to say what is real? The life-world itself is a construct of the mind. But you still find yourself having to live within it. And we are here, are we not? So we must make the best of it.¡±

    I looked down, thinking about his words. Its true that for much of the time that I had been here I did not feel fully lucid. I was never even sure where ¡°here¡± even was. It was hard to say that the place I found myself felt real. And to tell the truth, this had been the case since long before coming to the egg. But that was no matter. For I did not feel real either. It was like I was watching a simulation. Seeing from third person a figure composed of ones and zeroes interacting with an equally ephemeral world. And sometimes, when I zoned out enough, even the image faded. Revealing beneath it only the cold blackness of the void.

    But I suppose I had no reason to scrutinize what he was saying. I had no other perspective to compare it with, at least. But that did leave one thing still resting on my mind.

    ¡°But... who are you? Why have you come to this place?¡±

    He responded in an even keel.

    ¡°I am a traveler. I go to forgotten places to bring back those who end up there.¡±

    I thought about this.

    ¡°You are here... for me?¡±

    He turned to look at me.

    ¡°Yes. But now that I am here, there is something I must collect before we go. It is something that will be useful to us later on.¡±

    We entered into the beneath level, and the demons began to follow in behind us. But his staff stayed lit, and so it remained bright despite the descent. The inside of the egg was dark, having an abstract appearance. Behind us, the demons were still following closely, though staying outside of the light of the staff.

    Inside the egg, I could see it now, like looking into a hollow inverted world, seeing through to the other side. Although with limited light, it was not very easy to make out details, it was still an interesting sight. Though I had been on the outside for so long and was aware that it was not a very large space, seeing it internally made it feel totally different. As if the visible surface contained only one small slice of the larger understanding, shielding it from something that could only be seen within.

    All the aspects of the outer shell contained structures that led to the center. And at the center was another smaller sphere. This was what he seemed to be walking to. I was beginning to be very curious, despite everything. Though I would have followed him either way, on account of the impending danger.

    At the center, he arrived at what looked like a pedestal of some kind, though it was dark and inert. He moved his hands along it from the side while walking, as if looking for something. At first, he seemed to struggle to find what he was looking for. Leading me to be concerned that we had now become trapped on the inside for nothing, due to the row of demons now blocking the path behind us. But eventually he seemed to discover something. He tapped a part of the core with his staff, leading to a part of it opening, which he reached in and retrieved something from. It looked kind of like a small black sphere. But it was oddly shaped, as if you could see the inside from the outside. And it was unclear whether it was a natural gem or an artifice. I asked about it, as I could not help myself.

    ¡°What is that?¡±

    He held it up.

    ¡°This is a Qliphoth. It is a dark outer shell that can be used to conceal the light within.¡±

    I wasn''t sure what to say. But this did not seem to have any meaning to me.

    ¡°I don''t really get it.¡±

    ¡°Think of it like a constraint. It is like a veil that can obscure the true essence of something that lies underneath. The destruction of the cosmic egg was an event known as the shattering of the vessels. And this is something that was broken through. But sometimes one thing has to be shattered to make way for something new.¡±

    He looked over at me. I looked away, embarrassed. Not really sure what he was saying. He put away the Qliphoth in his sleeve and then turned around, observing the figures that were now blocking our retreat.

    ¡°Please, stay back.¡± He said. I stepped back to get out of his way. He turned to face the demons, with a serene expression still on his face. He placed the staff in the ground once again and made a prayerful pose, whispering a mantra quietly to himself.

    ¡°The great orb, who in his rising dispels the night.¡±

    Looking up at them, he spoke once again.

    ¡°Begone from this place, demons, and return peacefully from whence you came.¡±

    But the demons still stared at him, unimpressed. And continued to make their way further towards him. He shook his head.

    ¡°Be it that way if it must.¡±

    Reaching into his robe, he took out a bell, ringing it loudly. The demons seemed displeased by the sound, reeling back slightly. But before they could react, he had already rushed forward, grabbing up his staff in the process and, with it, slicing one of them clean in two.

    The other demons looked at him as if in shock, being unprepared for this. But upon seeing it, they rushed at him, hoping to quickly overwhelm him with numbers. He spun his staff, putting up another spinning barrier of light that repelled them back. But they were prepared for this now, after the first mishap, and so began to claw at the barrier, seeking to tear through it.

    But as they were held back by the barrier itself and their limited movement, he brought his staff back, stabbing it through a second one of them, and then swinging the body at the others to buy him some time. They dodged around the body, rushing and swinging at him, putting him on the defensive. He took a few steps back as they advanced at him, being temporarily pushed off by their aggression. But they began a series of parries back and forth, with him swinging lines of light at them.

    But as the numbers of the demons grew slightly smaller, they had begun to spread out more. They had surrounded him. But it was not this I was concerned about. For now that they were on all sides of him, the ones who had been repelled from my location by his presence could now turn their back on him, coming towards me instead. I had hoped that their fear of him would have them leave me alone for them to face him first. But judging by their advancing eyes and claws, I was not to be so lucky.

    I panicked and closed my eyes, thinking that this was now finally the end. Even if he could defend himself, this does not mean that he could defend me at the same time. And the enemies were still decent in number. So he would perhaps be joining me soon as well. Perhaps I deserve this, though. For I also was unable to protect those who were close to me. Even though they were the lost and the forsaken like I myself was. I deserve a fate no better than theirs.

    I closed myself into a fetal position, waiting for the end. And I waited. But the promised end never came. I was too terrified to open my eyes. Though this was not the first time that I had had such a feeling. Feeling forever boxed in by the crystal sheen.

    But eventually the sounds began to subside. The screeches of the demons faded away. And all became once again still. I dared not hope that he had really beaten them. But I could not wait forever. Cautiously, I opened my eyes to see the monk walking towards me. He reached a hand down at me.

    ¡°Are you alright?¡±

    I looked around. To my surprise, the demons had all been slain. And nothing else remained in the space around me but the two of us. I was shocked to still be alive, having already accepted my fate long ago. But coming to understand now what had transpired, I realized that beyond my wildest hopes, that it was in fact coming true that I might finally leave this place. I looked up at him, trying to remain calm, though shaking all over.

    ¡°Yeah. I''m okay.¡±

    ¡°That is good. We should be on our way momentarily. But I am tired after such an activity. And so I would like to take a short rest.¡±

    With this, he sat down on a rock that was on top of a small pile, restfully. I in turn sat down next to him, with my arms around my knees, feeling now worn out as well. But I was still full of questions. And I figured that now was as good of a time to begin them as any.

    ¡°What were those things? For the whole time we have been here, we were alone. Then suddenly, they came and snatched away my siblings. I tried, but I... I couldn''t stop them. And...¡±

    I sunk my head lower beneath my legs.

    ¡°But I couldn''t do anything. And now they are all dead. Or gone. Or whatever. I don''t even know. They could be anywhere.¡±

    He looked over at me for awhile and then began speaking quietly.

    ¡°Do not blame yourself for what you could not avoid. For not all things will be within your power.¡±

    He looked back forward.

    ¡°Those were the demons of Sakras. Dark forces that emanate from his left hand, to carry out his will.¡±

    I thought about this quizzically.

    ¡°But isn''t Sakras the head of the gods? Are the demons not his enemies?¡±

    He shook his head.

    ¡°From the human perspective, you are supposed to perceive this as such. But Sakras is the originator of both light and darkness. Though he feigns a struggle against the gods of his right hand, in truth it is all held by him. From one angle he promises rewards, and from the other he threatens curses.

    ¡°In the end, it is all designed as one system. Not altogether unlike a twisted form of yin and yang. Even rebellion is factored into it. Which is why true liberation is not so easy a matter.¡±

    I thought about his words. I would have been in shock at this earlier in my life. But I suppose nothing was shocking to me now. For now, all I could think of was escape. Escape from this place, of course. But... not just that. What I really sought to escape was myself. But I did not know how.

    I was not fully cognizant of it at the time, but I believed he sensed my hesitations. Looking over to me, he began to speak once again.

    ¡°Ah, but I have not asked this yet. So tell me, what is your name?¡±

    I thought about this. For some reason, the question once again brought me great pain. It was just my name. A thing that was so simple. Yet I found myself hesitating as if unsure what to tell him.

    ¡°My name is...¡±

    I paused.

    ¡°Tuan.¡±

    The monk looked at me with a calm expression and then looked forward for awhile, as if contemplating. But he looked back at me with understanding eyes.

    ¡°It seems to me that your name brings you great pain. If you would like to have another one, now is the time.¡±

    I thought about this and about what it meant to have a name.

    ¡°Are we not constrained by who we are? I couldn''t save them. I can''t imagine ever being anyone else.¡±

    He looked forward and spoke again.

    ¡°The self is ever-changing. You die and are reborn moment to moment. You feel guilt over what happened. And you believe that this marks you as one who is unworthy in the same ways you have been treated. But it is only you who can define your future. It is only you who can decide where your path leads. And in the end, what you will find beyond it.¡±

    I thought this over. And I was starting to feel more optimistic for the first time in a long time. For it felt like I was having a door opened to me that I had heretofore not even known existed. I hesitated once more, thinking over what was being asked of me and the gravity of the suggestion if I were to comply. What lie on the other side of this door? And who would I be if I were to take the choice to walk through it?

    But I knew now that this was where my future lied. Or rather, my present. My past. Where I had always been. The door was no mystery. For on the other side, it was myself that I would find. The self that I had always been searching for. And the one that had been searching for me as well.

    And I understood now that I was not powerless. There are lost children in every community, in every age, in every world. Those who had been forsaken like I had. And if I was going to survive, I could be strong for them. And continue to work so that others would not be forsaken like I had been. I can''t bring back the fallen. But I could work to make sure that none would fall again.

    I looked back with determination.

    ¡°My name is...¡±

 17: To Eternity

    Jonah and June laid naked in bed together, holding hands. Though they had been living together for several days and, in pragmatic course seen each other like this from time to time, the trauma they had experienced made them hesitate thus far to take it any further than this. They still felt a kind of ephemeral sense of hesitation about each other''s presence. Worried that one day they would wake up and the other would be gone. And this fear came with a kind of superstitious attitude. As if amid the quantum void, they had to establish each other''s presence via recognition to establish that the other truly exists. And that perhaps their own existence was in jeopardy as well.

    But this fear is no surprise. For after all, it had been true for everything else they had ever known.

    As a result, they wanted to take things one step at a time, seeing how they would evolve naturally. Brought together by suffering, they were aware that their connection came from shared trauma rather than shared intimacy. And that, on account of this, their initial connection was based on strong feeling rather than a tangible bond. But they had the presence of mind to know that they wanted to work on a true connection. Believing that if you can''t be good friends, you also couldn''t be good at anything more.

    They felt like they wanted to take it further today. But they also felt like they had difficulty taking the plunge into it. Feeling still awkward and ephemeral. A sense of being detached that had no choice but to pervade all throughout their life. For their detachment was their life now. And there were no more things one could cling to.

    June looked over to him.

    ¡°You know, I just thought about something. We have been acting like it since we moved in together. But technically, we never really officially said we were a couple.¡±

    Jonah zoned in when she started speaking and then thought back over what she said, thinking about it himself for a moment.

    ¡°Well, that''s true. I suppose I thought it was implied. Or would be at some point.¡±

    She laid back,

    ¡°I suppose this occurs to me now, because I was thinking about it and realized that not everyone in our position would necessarily want to treat it like a relationship in that way. Or at least not with everyone. But from when I first saw you, I felt like it was a given.¡±

    She got a pained look.

    ¡°Well... in truth, it was actually long before we met. I suppose I decided it was what I wanted before even meeting you. And I spent a long time having to face the reality that you may not have wanted the same thing.¡±

    He turned to her.

    ¡°Well, you don''t have to worry about that. I do want it.¡±

    ¡°I know. But I couldn''t have known that at the time. And it feels uncomfortable having had to rest so much hope on one single avenue of escape. Because even if it turned out okay, you have to know that it could have easily not done so.¡±

    He thought about this quietly and then looked back over.

    "Well, you said yourself. This is just how things are. You just move forward and see whether you ended up in a good or bad situation. If it is a good one, you roll with it. And if it doesn''t work out, you move on. And even if you have to move on, that is a chance to show your tenacity.¡±

    She smiled at him.

    ¡°Thank you. So... are we in a relationship now?¡±

    ¡°I suppose we are.¡±

    ¡°I think I didn''t bring it up because I was afraid of rejection. I mean, not that I thought you would say no. It''s not really about you. It''s just... how my life has been up til now. And having to live like this felt like another rejection. From life itself. The fact that everyone else I knew could just carry on without me. Everything else remains, but it is like I never was. And yet here I remain. They have come and gone. Had entire lives that I will never know about.¡±

    He leaned up to her.

    ¡°Well, I don''t reject you. Not just as a relationship. But as a person. We may not have anything else. But we have each other.¡±

    She smiled and ran her hand along his face. She would have spoken again, but she felt like she wanted a moment of silence after sharing so much. Not that she had said all that much in the grand scheme of things. But when the feelings were so deep rooted, it can still feel vulnerable to share them.

    They snuggled together a bit. They still weren''t entirely comfortable with each other''s bodies, but they were getting better at it. They still hesitated with touch, feeling like it was intrusive. But would sometimes do so after a false start.

    Laying there, Jonah gradually glanced down at June''s body. This too still felt a little awkward, like he wasn''t totally sure he should be looking. But this is a feeling you had to get over if it were someone you were going to share your life with. Even if you still only barely knew them.

    He thought about them being together. And about the nature of their situation. And he felt a bit calm. For the first time in a long time, he felt like he wasn''t alone. And he realized that she was having the same thoughts at this moment. And more than that, he felt receptive. He was glad that he and June had a lot in common. Though he felt that even had they been more different, they would have been able to work it out.

    But something entered into his mind. He had a funny idea relating to this that he wanted to share now, in response to her opening up. One that was related to his past. And many of the fears that he had been carrying with him for a long time. Since longer even than he knew he had Parfit''s syndrome. This was something he kept close to his chest for many years. And which he did not share even with his friends in his old life.

    At this point, he felt like he could share his secret with June. Because in their situation, they would have to be very open and accommodating with each other. And he did not want to have any secrets. But he still felt scared to bring it up. But he steeled himself and committed to doing so, realizing that she was now doing the same. He turned to her and spoke slowly.

    ¡°I had a thought.¡±

    ¡°About what?¡±

    ¡°Well... its kind of embarrassing to say.¡±

    ¡°That''s something that shouldn''t really matter to people like us anymore.¡±

    ¡°...

    ¡°Well... I guess that is true.

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°This must be a big thought.¡±

    ¡°Okay, okay, I''ll just say it. Here goes then. Well, what I was thinking is that, well... it''s actually a bit hard to frame what I am thinking exactly. But relating to what you said before, I suppose some people might think we were lucky.¡±

    ¡°We have had some bad luck as well. That is how we got here after all.¡±

    ¡°Not in the overall sense. But when meeting each other. I mean, I''m not just saying this because of our situation. But I think I feel closer to you than I have with anyone before. Even if we met each other, if we were too different or less incompatible, it may have been harder.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that is true. But either way, we could have tried. We are lucky we didn''t have nothing in common. Or end up with someone we couldn''t get along with.¡±

    ¡°I think... that is what I am getting at. This is something that I would have been afraid to share with anyone I knew before. And... you have to promise not to think what I am about to say is weird.¡±

    ¡°Everything about our lives is weird now. I think I can handle it.¡±

    ¡°Well, I just mean, it would have been nice to have a friend either way. Because it would still be better than solitude. But it is also good we can be in a relationship. But I just mean that... I feel like how I feel about you transcends gender. If you were male, I still wouldn''t have minded being in a relationship with you.¡±

    He stopped speaking suddenly, feeling very tense at what he had just said openly for the first time and afraid how she would react. Because he knew that this was not something that would always go over well with everyone.

    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    June remained silent for a moment, thinking about what she was hearing. But on realizing the implication, she leaned up suddenly and laughed slightly at him.

    ¡°Is that all? You made it sound like it was going to be such a big secret.¡±

    ¡°You said you wouldn''t laugh.¡±

    ¡°Actually, I didn''t say that at all.¡±

    He thought about it.

    ¡°I... I guess you didn''t actually. But I don''t know. It''s something embarrassing to talk about. Where I was from, this wasn''t the kind of thing you could admit openly. It would have been a social death sentence to be seen this way by people my own age. And I mean, I didn''t want you to think of me as weird. Like, I didn''t... I didn''t mean to describe you like that.¡±

    ¡°It''s okay, I understood what you meant.¡±

    She laid back next to him, on his side.

    ¡°But its okay. The truth is, we are the same. In terms of attraction, I mean. I would have been okay if you were either a boy or girl. I''ve never really had a strong preference. In the past, it would have been a thing I thought about more though. Because who you are with can shape your identity and how people see you. But for us now, those concerns no longer apply. I suppose you could say it is like a more pure form of relationship. Now we can be together unburdened by how we would be seen by others. You don''t need to care about the observations of phantoms who are already far into your own past.¡±

    Jonah leaned back, feeling relieved.

    ¡°I suppose it sounds ominous when you put it that way. In some ways we can be free. Free from the harassment we may have gotten in the past if that ever came up. But to be untethered is a scary kind of freedom.¡±

    They both looked up and got quiet, thinking once more about the eternity that lay before them. After a long stretch, Jonah spoke again.

    ¡°I have been hiding those feelings for a long time, in fear. Once I felt attraction to a boy and shared it with him. But this caused problems for me. And I ended up having to lie my way out of it until everyone forgot. But I wonder. Is there a time when that type of thing wouldn''t matter? And if so, will we ever live to see it?¡±

    He thought about it for a moment.

    ¡°But I suppose that if that time ever comes, we will. We will carry on and see it together. To the future. And perhaps to a more enlightened time.¡±

    June patted his face, looking into his eyes when listening. But then, after he stopped, she got a sly grin and propped herself up on her arm, speaking suddenly.

    ¡°So tell me. In this fantasy you were having where I was a boy. Would you have been the top or the bottom?¡±

    Jonah''s face turned red, and he looked away in embarrassment. Though it was dark, and so his face''s shade could not have been seen either way.

    ¡°That''s not what I meant. I don''t mean I was thinking about it like that.¡±

    She laughed again.

    ¡°I know, I was just teasing.¡±

    She looked to the side at the wall.

    ¡°But I mean, I don''t mind talking about it. Suppose you had to answer for real.¡±

    Jonah looked back. He felt embarrassed to talk about it, but he realized that in this situation embarrassment didn''t really matter.

    ¡°I mean, I don''t know. I never got that far in a situation like for real. I assumed you just take turns.¡±

    She smiled softly and then suddenly put her arm around his face, onto the far side.

    ¡°Having never been a guy, I''ve never been in that situation either. So I''m also not sure how it works. But I like that answer. I don''t like when people are only thinking about themselves.¡±

    She put up her other arm in a shrugging motion, and smirked.

    ¡°But you know, we can still try something like that. If you are open to it, I mean. Where there''s a will, there''s a way. You know, artificially.¡±

    Jonah got embarrassed again and rolled back to look away.

    ¡°Well, I never thought about anything like that before, really. I mean, not with a girl. But I suppose I am okay with it if it''s with you.¡±

    She reached her hand down to pat him and then snuggled up behind him with her arms around him as a big spoon.

    ¡°Don''t worry. I would be gentle.¡±

    She pulled up closer.

    ¡°I think you would make a good girl too, though. You know, there''s no one to stop me from making you into one now. I could dress you up however I want.¡±

    Jonah made a resigned expression.

    ¡°That is a bit odd to think about too. But I suppose I would be open to anything now. Sometimes. It''s not like there''s anyone left to judge us for eccentricity. I don''t want to go out like that, though.¡±

    ¡°That''s a fair deal.¡±

    They stopped speaking and laid there for awhile, with him feeling her on his back. Eventually, he got up to get himself water, and as he walked to doing so, June looked at his body lit faintly only by the outside lights. She lifted up her sheet and looked down, and thought about it for a few seconds, and then stood up quickly with a devious expression, putting her arms around him.

    ¡°Lets go out on the balcony.¡±

    He looked nervous.

    ¡°The balcony? Are you sure? People might see us.¡±

    ¡°Would they really, though? We are kind of high up. And it has walls.

    He thought about it for a moment.

    ¡°Yeah, I suppose so.¡±

    ¡°Don''t worry. I''m a little nervous too. But this is our life now. Is the life we have really one where we will be rewarded for playing it safe?¡±

    He thought about this for a moment and quickly realized it was true.

    They walked sheepishly together to the balcony, both being self-conscious about being naked. But seeing that it was dark and that they were high up, they got more confident to stand out on it. On doing so, they realized fairly quickly that they liked the idea of being nude in an open area like this but also felt that they would have been much too nervous to do something like that in a place they could actually be seen. But doing so did make them consider whether that is something they would think about doing later on, if there was a place where it was accepted.

    They looked up at the sky above. Above them there were sky fish floating past listlessly in the night breeze. Looking at them they took in the feelings of the ebb and flow of the world instilled by this image. The kind of feeling of flowing through reality, being carried along its endless stream.

    Eventually this feeling made them more self-aware of being naked again. But as they realized, no longer in an embarrassed way. Although they were surrounded by buildings and could not see much of nature save for the parks and rivers that were visible from their height, standing out here among the sky fish gave a feeling of being one with it. As if they could float up and swim along with them, leaving behind their worries to the mortal world below.

    In a sense, it felt inspirational. The rest of the world still existed, of course. It carried on to and fro with or without them. But from their perspective, it was like they were entering into a new world. Standing naked in a new Eden, with the freedom of untold possibilities stretched before them and the beauty of it all laid out. They would see things that they couldn''t believe. Ones they could at the current moment scarcely comprehend. And none could predict what the future would hold.

    They turned to look at each other and stood apart, taking each other''s hands and holding them at length, soaking in the moonlight. They had lost a lot. But sometimes, with loss, new freedoms could be gained. Paving the way to things which you would have never had the chance for before.

    After basking in the moment, they turned back to the edge to lean on the railing. They remained like that for a long time, without speaking, feeling a kind of sublime bliss that could not be placed into words. And hoping these feelings would never end. But they knew that the future would not always be so kind. But that is life. And one has to take it as it comes and goes.

    June began speaking.

    ¡°You know, I''ve been thinking.¡±

    She paused a bit to decide what she wanted to say.

    ¡°Back when I was first diagnosed and wasn''t sure what to do, I spent my weeks wandering around aimlessly. During that time, I met an artist. Well... an ex-artist. And I talked to her about life. She seemed a bit... sad. Like she felt forced to give up doing what she wanted in order to do what she thought she had to. I felt sorry for her. Because she talked like she didn''t think there was any other option. And I suppose I relate to her. Because we too had to give up the things we wanted. Though we really didn''t have another choice.¡±

    She looked at him somberly.

    ¡°I am glad I met you. But it would have been nice if we could have met under better circumstances. I had things I could have shown you. People I could have introduced you to. But I suppose most of them are probably dead now. And now we will never get that chance.¡±

    He leaned to the side.

    ¡°Well, maybe not people. But we can still show each other things. There are always aspects of your life that never really disappear. And we still know of books, music, other things we have nostalgic ties to. Even after so much time has passed, we should still be able to find and share them. Even places, though now any places will be very different. And we can watch them change together.¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°Yes, I suppose so. I mean, its something. But its not the same. Sorry, I shouldn''t be pessimistic.¡±

    She looked back over the side.

    ¡°Where was I though? Yeah. I felt a spiritual attachment to the art that she showed me. I would have liked to get a picture from her as a memento. Since I had to leave everything else behind. A painting of when I was happy. Though I suppose I wasn''t happy at the point I found her anyway. I thought at the time about seeing if I could go back and check on her to see if she ever picked up art again. But I never did. I suppose that at this point she might be dead now.¡±

    He looked over at her from where he was standing.

    ¡°Who knows. Maybe she has kids who saw those same pictures and followed in her footsteps. And you can get one from one of them one day.¡±

    June laughed to herself.

    ¡°Fat chance. Though it would be nice. Maybe we can look them up and seek them out in the future. They will be wierded out when we say we met their grandma a hundred years ago and were just strolling by again like its no big deal to see if anyone kept up the family practice.¡±

    Jonah smirked at her joke. She turned back to speak again.

    ¡°I was glad I had that conversation with her, though. I owe a lot to that conversation. And while she didn''t say much, I feel like it pushed me to not give up, and to carry on. But I wonder if she benefited from it as well. I feel like there was something important about it. But I suppose we will never know.

    ¡°That conversation was what inspired me to seek you out. And I know, maybe it seemed obsessive of me to spend so much time searching for you when I didn''t even know you. But I felt like... you would understand. You weren''t the only one who was alone. And I spent that whole time not just feeling worried about rejection. But also feeling entitled that I was placing my sole hope for the future on someone I didn''t know. Do you get what I mean?¡±

    He reached over and stroked her face with his hand. And she put her hand over his as he began talking.

    ¡°Its true. I would probably have been afraid to do something like that. And it''s hard to say what might have happened if I were someone else. But I''m glad you did. I mean, of course I am. You literally gave me a new chance at life. When I was going to...¡±

    He trailed off, gaining a pained expression, and spent a moment in silence. But then began again.

    ¡°But it''s not just that. I know we haven''t known each other for very long. But I care about you. And whatever else happens, I''m glad that I met you. And whatever happens to us now, it will be together. If we go through the abyss itself, we can be each other''s light in Hell.¡±

    She put her own hand on his face.

    ¡°Thank you. I feel the same way about you. I think... I think I am ready now.¡±

    They both looked down at each other''s bodies. They still felt slightly embarrassed at the idea. But now they felt more intimate, like it felt more natural to imagine being connected in this way. He looked back.

    ¡°I think I am too. I''d say there is no time like the present. But we no longer have a distinct present. Only the eternal now.¡±

    She took his hands in hers to look at him for a moment and then led him inside by the hand. When they got to the bed, they looked at it unsure of what to do next and how to begin. They looked at each other, and both began to speak at once, stopping and then laughing nervously. She put her hand on his chest to give a tap backwards.

    ¡°You lay down. I can be on top.¡±

    He backed up, still facing her to lie on the bed. Once there, he smiled sheepishly.

    ¡°Sorry. I don''t have that much experience with things like this. I can''t promise much.¡±

    She climbed over him and looked into his eyes, her naked body hanging over his.

    ¡°That''s okay. I don''t have much experience either. But now we can practice for all eternity. We can be like tantric deities, embodying the unity of will and action. Ages come and go, but we remain forever. All reality comes from us and will return to us. We will be one and all.¡±

    He put up his hand to stroke her face.

    ¡°I think... I wouldn''t mind being one with you.¡±

    She looked down at him.

    ¡°That''s good. Because you are going to be forever.¡±

    She reached down her hand.

    ¡°Lets begin.¡±

 18: The Dark School

    ¡°Are you sure it will be alright?¡±

    ¡°Do not worry. I have made sure they will be in no danger.¡±

    ¡°But should they really be here for this?¡±

    ¡°They have seen much worse. I believe that this is something that will be good for them to observe. If we are right, this is a perfect opportunity to see.¡±

    ¡°Well, I suppose so...

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Are you troubled?¡±

    ¡°I usually am.¡±

    ¡°Is it memories?¡±

    ¡°...It usually is.¡±

    ¡°Some things will never fade. But they become easier to handle in time. The truth is, the world is not fair. Karma is not real. Many are lost who deserve life. And they probably always will. You may carry this guilt, but it is important to separate your feelings from the belief that they convey culpability.¡±

    ¡°I know, there isn''t necessarily anything I could have done. Not at the time. But it is hard to go on, knowing there are those who are left behind. Those who were like me. You can feel guilty knowing that you have what they could not. And that there is no meaning behind it. It is just the roll of the dice. I feel... guilty enjoying things, knowing that I feel joy deprived of another. How can I be happy knowing that someone I cared about never got this chance?¡±

    ¡°It is natural to feel that way, to wonder if you must carry the weight of their lost chances. But you living on is not something that takes away from them. Those who care about you would want you to live for yourself as well. Not just to exist. Our trials never end. It is your burden that you must carry their memories forth with you. But it lets you carry a piece of them, sharing with it what you find beautiful.

    ¡°And those trials lead us to right now. To this moment. It is our past that shapes our present. And it is our future that pulls us forth. Time will tell whether our past has led us to true liberation. But in truth, it matters not. For if we were to fall on this very day, we will still have done enough.¡±

    ¡°I suppose you are right. Being miserable does not help the fallen.¡±

    ¡°One cannot replace another. But there are more who need help. And if you work to this, no soul of the lost can hold it against you.

    ¡°But know this. Beyond this point, there may be no turning back. And you will become the enemy of both heaven and earth. Are you truly willing to risk everything for this?¡±

    ¡°I must.¡±

    ¡°Do not make this choice out of guilt. There is no compulsion to do this. If you do it, you must do it freely.¡±

    ¡°I...¡±

    <hr>

    Mei and Isaac sat listlessly on the swing set of an abandoned grade school as the golden glare of the fading sunset cast long shadows through the heavy trees onto them. They had been asked to come out here for a relatively small mission, since despite the emergence of the Vimerkanah, for the time being they were not busy with anything else. And with the limited numbers of people that were available, they couldn''t always afford to hold people back for only larger missions. There were some who argued that Mei shouldn''t be on the front lines for less significant things, out of risk she could be hurt or discovered. But she didn''t feel okay staying back, knowing it could mean others got hurt in her place. So while such a concern may have made sense pragmatically, she felt it wouldn''t work psychologically.

    People often feel like a sudden revelation will change everything. But the truth is, people are good at adapting. Many thought the emergence of the Vimerkanah would lead to apocalyptic riots and scrutiny over what was coming next. But in the end, after a few weeks, it was treated as fairly normal. Routine. Day to day, nothing changed. People simply accepted its presence. And it was put out of mind, though it still remained within eye. Some scrutinized what was coming next. Though if you didn''t look in its direction, you could be forgiven for thinking it wasn''t there at all.

    Isaac glanced up at it. Though it quickly became a mere part of the environment for some, there were others who knew what it implied. And though it was not yet relevant to them, they felt like it made them often uneasy. Like it were the watchful eye of Sakras bearing down on them from a triangular prism.

    He looked over at Mei, speaking softly.

    ¡°I get that we didn''t have anything else to do for the moment, but it seems odd that they asked us out here for this.¡±

    She responded in an even keel.

    ¡°This is a rather odd case. A lot of children went missing at once. And the local exorcists don''t seem to have any means to deal with it. So they asked around higher up the food chain until getting to us.¡±

    Isaac thought about this. While he had years of experience dealing with ether and the noosphere, including at the theoretical level before getting to the practical, he was still a little newer to this world than Mei. Because on account of his physical development, even after Mei had rescued him, it had been many years before the techno-gnostics had been willing to let him join, despite technically being much older than he looked.

    He looked up, thinking about the local exorcists.

    ¡°It''s funny, I guess. What they do isn''t much different than what we do. But they are allowed to practice legally, whereas we have to operate in secret. At least in most places.¡±

    Mei smiled.

    ¡°It''s different, I suppose. Exorcists clear out local demons. Some of them even work for or with the temple. But this is allowed because they aren''t a threat to it. The light clears out the dark. The night returns. The system repeats in a cycle. They wouldn''t risk working with us at all if they could help it. Because there could be severe consequences for doing so. But one of them must have had a contact. And this situation was beyond their own means.¡±

    Isaac thought about this.

    ¡°That''s not all though, is it? There''s something special about this case.¡±

    She closed her eyes.

    ¡°Very perceptive. But there is another reason we are here. After the children went missing, they discovered a message. This note is part of what led them to contacting the techno-gnostics. But it does seem to be more than that. It seems like it is a message addressed at us specifically. Or close to it.¡±

    She took out a file and handed to Isaac something that was inside. He looked at it a bit, and then after this, he handed it back to her. She spoke again.

    ¡°The one who left this may also be the one who summoned the demons. So it is hard to tell what exactly is going to happen here.¡±

    ¡°You think the black knight might be involved?¡±

    ¡°It''s a possibility.¡±

    ¡°Is it safe to come here with just the two of us, if that is the case?¡±

    ¡°The black knight didn''t want me dead. I don''t know why. I think... they wanted me to see something.¡±

    She sighed.

    ¡°The truth is, if they wanted me dead, I would have been dead already. They have no need to lure me here, just for a rematch. Whatever they are planning, it won''t be for awhile.¡±

    ¡°So you don''t think this is a trap?¡±

    ¡°...

    ¡°Well...

    ¡°At any rate, whatever it is, we need to see it through to the end.¡±

    ¡°And that''s because?¡±

    ¡°The temple doesn''t know who I am. My identity is supposed to be a secret. Our entire plan is predicated on them not being aware of me ahead of time. I won''t be able to use the white lotus otherwise.¡±

    Isaac looked down as Mei continued speaking.

    ¡°This is the second time in as many weeks that someone seems to have known me. It''s dangerous for this to be something that could get back to them. So it may be bait. But it is something we need to follow up on.¡±

    Isaac looked nervous. She looked over at him.

    ¡°Don''t worry. I planned ahead. I have things under control.¡±

    ¡°Okay, I trust you.¡±

    Isaac sighed again. He was good at tactics, but even he didn''t fully understand Mei''s intuition for these kinds of cases. Her heightened ability to sense the intentions of others could be used even in practical combat-related situations. And so he would defer to her judgment in them. This is not to say she did not make poor decisions at times. Especially where certain topics were involved. But these kinds of situations weren''t those times. Because it is one thing to understand others. It is another to understand yourself.

    Isaac sat still for awhile feeling somber from the sunset. It fading from over the horizon conveyed a sense of something ending. He turned back to her to speak.

    ¡°The truth is though, Mei, I''m glad we got to do stuff like this again together before the end. I missed when we just went out and got to do smaller missions by ourselves, and didn''t have to be as guarded. But we haven''t gotten to do that in awhile. And who knows what will happen once all this is over.¡±

    Mei smiled and put her hand on his head.

    ¡°Of course, little bro. I feel the same. And I wouldn''t miss it for anything. But we can do things our way today. Perhaps for the last time.¡±

    Isaac got a little embarrassed.

    ¡°Mei, you know I''m older than you.¡±

    ¡°Not in my eyes. And you are quite a bit smaller, so the word little still applies.¡±

    ¡°Heh. Maybe it does.¡±

    He smiled softly.

    ¡°But really. I just want you to know that whatever happens, I valued the time we spent together. And I''m grateful to you for saving me.¡±

    Mei smiled back.

    ¡°I''m grateful to you as well. The truth is, I am too weak to share my feelings with anyone else. But I wouldn''t have been able to come this far alone. If I had just tried to keep everything inside, I likely wouldn''t have been able to handle what''s coming.¡±

    She looked back forward, putting together her thoughts.

    ¡°I feel like there is a dark red cloud always following me. Inside of which lies a lack of purpose. With drive, you can outrun it. But it is always behind you, dripping in blood and death. And it represents what you will fall into if you can''t hold onto the construct of your life''s meaning.¡±

    Isaac leaned back.

    ¡°You know, even after all this time, it''s still a little funny to hear you talk this way. You don''t talk this way to anyone else. Its like you become a totally different person when there is someone else around.¡±

    She looked in his direction with a soft expression, thinking.

    ¡°No. I want to inspire confidence in others in the way I don''t have in myself. The truth is, in part, I am really just trying to convince myself when I speak. Sometimes it works. But either way, I am happy when I can see that it works on others. Even if I don''t feel it inside.¡±

    He leaned forward again.

    ¡°I think you do. More than you realize. You came this far after all.¡±

    She looked over, smiling.

    ¡°Maybe so. Thank you.¡±

    He sat there idly for awhile. But then sat up straight, holding onto the swing chains.

    ¡°But even so. It is sad to feel like a chapter of your life is coming to a close. I spent so much of my life wondering why I wasn''t moving forward fast enough because of my parents de-aging me. But now that time is moving again, it is hard to keep up with the changes.

    He looked around.

    ¡°I spent most of my life in different schools like this. Longer than I was supposed to be in them. It''s odd that now they are just a faint memory. But it feels very nostalgic to be back at one again.¡±

    Mei made a somber expression.

    ¡°I can''t say I relate. Things weren''t quite as bad when I was very young. But for most of my childhood, I took no joy out of the process of life. Childhood nostalgia is a hard-to-understand feeling for me because I didn''t really begin to become happier until later on, when I learned to separate myself from how my family saw me. And when I began to get friends of my own.¡±

    Isaac looked over.

    ¡°Well, don''t blame me. I wanted to be friends with you. But my parents had other ideas.¡±

    She looked back.

    ¡°And yet here you are. After all these years, they couldn''t keep up apart.¡±

    ¡°I suppose so.¡±

    They sat for a long moment in silence, thinking about the past and future. Time erodes all things. But in a sense, they never really disappear. And though it might pass, right here, right now, this moment would be etched onto all of time forever.

    Eventually, Mei stood up from the swing.

    ¡°Lets go. They are coming.¡±

    Isaac quickly stood up as well. He could not sense any demons nearby. But he knew better than to question Mei.

    ¡°How can you tell? I can''t sense anything. There''s nothing on the scanners either.¡±

    She closed her black eyes and smiled slightly, blocking out her bloodstained vision.

    ¡°Darkness is drawn to a tortured will, it seems. I knew that they would not hide for long once I got here. They are here for me.¡±

    She started walking into the school with her saber ignited, and Isaac trailed behind her, guns drawn. As they got inside the building, which was now without power, it became darker now that the sun was beneath the horizon, with little visible but the cold light of the blue hours and the glowing blue of Mei''s saber. Though they were equipped to deal with dim lighting of this nature.

    They walked through several empty hallways to get deeper into the school. But at first did not see anything. But true to her words, it did not take long for demons to make themselves visible. Several of them began to appear in front of them, eyes glowing red in gluttony for the life energy they saw before them. They wasted no time. One dove at Mei, and she dodged out of the way, cutting it in half, its red trail passing through her blue blade like an antipodal glare.

    The other demons at a glance were clearly surprised by this, not expecting the intruders to be this well prepared to deal with them. After a moment of hesitation, they started all rushing forward at once. Isaac spun his guns and then aimed forward, shooting bullets alongside next to Mei, and dropping two more of them before they ever reached her.

    Mei darted forward, her blade meeting a demon''s massive claws in a clash of light and darkness that illuminated the room in a violent, otherworldly glow. She spun it around back in an x shape, the ones that demons were known to hate. And it fell into four pieces.

    These demons in front of them were not the most large or dangerous. But there was no guarantee that there would not be worse ones inside. They had already cut down half the ones in front of them. But it was not clear how many there were in the larger area.

    Mei turned her head slightly.

    ¡°Look behind you.¡±

    She spoke loudly but flatly, without even turning around. Isaac turned around quickly to see that there were also two demons coming from the rear. And he was still amazed at how it was that Mei had noticed these before him. He aimed and shot at them, but these ones were too quick, getting out of the way, and shooting back at him a beam of ether that he had to quickly dodge himself.

    He shot back, but they were now fairly guarded behind the walls. And so he entered into a cat and mouse game, shooting back and forth for awhile without much progress. He looked back, but Mei seemed to be doing fine behind him, and so he focused on his own fight.

    One of the demons seemed to vanish, and so he focused on the other one, pulling back a bit to draw it out. Eventually it lurched forward, giving him a chance to shoot it. But right as he did this, he saw the other one smash through the wall next to him, hoping to take him by surprise. But he was not so easily fooled. Having expected this, he was already facing and aiming at it, with its face ending up right next to the barrel of his gun.

    ¡°Checkmate.¡±

    He shot through it, causing its body to collapse to the ground. Checking quickly to make sure it was really dead, he turned back towards Mei, quickly moving back over to her side. Her side was also reduced down to two. But as she jabbed her sword through one of them, it held for a moment too long. The other one jumped up from behind her, and so Isaac pulled his gun and shot at it, causing it to fall before it could slash her.

    She looked up, with a face of blank and subtle gratitude. He nodded. But inside he was wondering. He felt like she had visibly left herself open on purpose. This wasn''t the first time he had suspected this. That she had set things up at the end of a fight to make him feel like his presence was indispensable when he came to help. But he did not bring this up, feeling like it would be awkward. If that is what she was doing, was it for his sake or hers? Him coming to the rescue early on did fill him with confidence. And it''s true that how useful he felt continued to do so.

    Now that the battle was over, he closed his eyes and put a sucker in his mouth. Was it a lie? It is hard to say. But perhaps some lies can be good lies. Even though he suspected it was intentional, it still worked on him. It''s funny how that works.

    Mei looked up.

    ¡°Be careful. There will likely be stronger ones deeper inside.¡±

    Isaac took out and looked at his tablet over his jacket''s collar that covered his mouth. There didn''t seem to be any more enemies nearby in the building. But appearances could be deceiving. He scanned for the ether flow to see what could be picked up from it. And though it did not reveal any further enemies, it showed that there was a nexus point deeper in the building.

    ¡°From this map, it looks like a nexus might be present in the building''s gym. If they went through a portal, that is the most likely location.¡±

    Mei didn''t bother checking the results.

    ¡°Well then, lead the way.¡±

    They started walking down the school, checking various corridors along the way. The school had not been abandoned for very long, but it was without power. The disappearances had only happened around a week ago. And local cyber-exorcists were contacted to handle it. It was only when they realized that it was likely too big a task for them did they call in someone with more expertise.

    But even so. A week was a lot of time. And it was possible that those who were captured were already dead. Events like this with such a large amount disappearing at once were relatively uncommon. But perhaps the demons were reacting to the Vimerkanah. Acting up in an agitated way to the overarching holy wave that was being threatened.

    Isaac looked up from his tablet.

    ¡°Mei, you''re bleeding.¡±

    This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

    ¡°Am I?¡±

    Mei looked at her arm to see that there was a gash in it from the earlier attack, with single drips of blood coming off of it. She hadn''t noticed. She often tuned out pains like these. But it wouldn''t do to lose more blood when they hadn''t even gotten further in yet. Mei pulled her arm out of her jacket and washed it off at a water fountain, which, unlike the power, did still work. She took a healing pack out, and they stood to quickly bandage it before they moved on.

    Before moving on, Mei stopped to look at her arm. And Isaac could tell that she was thinking about something.

    ¡°What''s wrong?¡±

    ¡°Not even I can avoid getting hit. And fights are only going to get more difficult from here on out.¡±

    She looked up, trying to think of how to put her thoughts together.

    ¡°You know how in fiction, the enemies will often just let the heroes waltz into their headquarters and then face off with them. But why? You wonder why the villain willingly walks out to face them in single combat instead of just rigging the whole entrance area with bombs or so many turrets that there''s no easy way to get around. Unless they do it for the sake of pride, there''s no reason to even allow such a fight as possible if you can design your own choke point.¡±

    ¡°I''m not sure what you are getting at.¡±

    ¡°Being good at fighting isn''t enough, even for me. I wouldn''t be able to do much if the temple just blew up the whole area. And our enemies are cunning. We don''t know what they have prepared. And we will be entering into their own territory."

    Isaac blew a bubble from the bubble gum he was chewing. It was one of those kinds of suckers with gum in the middle.

    ¡°If a place was laced with explosives, you would probably know ahead of time if you were careful. You can do a scan for that.¡±

    Mei wagged her finger.

    ¡°The explosives don''t necessarily have to be in the same room. They could have turrets placed a ways away to make an ability to nuke a pathway at a moment''s notice while having it look inconspicuous.¡±

    Isaac thought about this for a moment.

    ¡°Well, you can make a shield.¡±

    ¡°I can make one. But if they just continually drop bombs, it''s not like it would last more than a few seconds. All the combat skill in the world isn''t going to help you if they plan well enough to make it impossible to use it.¡±

    Isaac thought about this. Mei kept speaking.

    ¡°What I mean is that this plan ultimately seems optimistic. Or rather, suicidal. There''s limits to what I can do. But this plan seems to rely on the assumption that the temple will never be desperate enough to just straight up salt the earth. We are going to need to think through some better defenses.¡±

    He made a note on the topic.

    ¡°Well, we can see what we can do.¡±

    ¡°And well... its not just the temple now. We are dealing with other enemies. Ones we don''t understand. And these ones are very cunning. So we have to account for everything.¡±

    Isaac knew who she was referring to. But he considered that it might be a sore subject and opted not to bring it up.

    It was true, though. This is something that he had been thinking about as well. They could make ether shields, but how much utility these had was fairly limited. It could take a few hits, but it wouldn''t make them invincible. Their plans for their final assault looked somewhat like a suicide mission. So what if Mei could take down a ton of people or even demons along the way? Their enemy would just send more. It would prioritize its own survival above all else. And if it came down to it, it would throw everything it had at them. At which point even supernatural skill would not be enough.

    They still had time to try to come up with solutions to this. But if time ran out, they would have to just wing it. And with the odds already against them, this wouldn''t be an ideal plan. Especially when they would finally have to deal with the divine armors.

    Isaac started to get lost in thought. He was the ether expert here. So he felt like it was on him to come up with a solution. But even he wasn''t that great at making shields. But before he could think for much longer, Mei started walking again, and waved to him.

    ¡°We shouldn''t stand for too long. Lets continue on.¡±

    He nodded

    ¡°Alright.¡±

    They got back up to continue looking for the Nexus. Mei took a long drink at the water fountain. This reminded Isaac that he too was thirsty, so he did the same before continuing on. As they moved on little more that was eventful happened for the moment. Isaac kept a gun drawn in case he were to need it, but they didn''t get attacked by anything else along the way. Eventually, he read that the nexus was close, and they looked over to its pinpointed destination.

    As they entered into the gym, they realized they had come to the center of the ether flow. To a normal person, it would not be visible. But the sensors were off the charts. Isaac looked up.

    ¡°This area appears to have a flow that carries over to an esoteric space. It is possible that if people were vanished from here that they were carried through it.¡±

    Mei looked back listlessly over her jacket, her cold black eyes conveying dispassion.

    ¡°Can you open it?¡±

    ¡°Yes, but...¡±

    ¡°But what?¡±

    ¡°We can''t be sure what is in there. It might be dangerous to go in haphazardly.¡±

    Mei looked back.

    ¡°Danger?¡±

    She closed her eyes and smirked.

    ¡°That''s okay. Open it anyhow.¡±

    Isaac looked at her for a moment, thinking about how they had just been talking about danger. But then did as he was told. He stood back from the nexus and raised his hands. Opening this would likely take a lot of ether. But he would still be able to conserve some, in case it was needed later. Mei walked to the other side of the room and sat down with her hand on her face, watching, in case it was going to take a long time.

    Light shone around the room as Isaac searched for the nexus point to make contact with and interact with it. This is something that would be difficult for most exorcists to do. But that is, after all, why they were here. Beams of light shot past Mei as she sat there waiting.

    Eventually, a hole began to tear in space. First small, and then getting larger. Until it became self-sustaining. Mei got up from the bleachers and walked over to it. She grabbed onto the sides and stuck her head in, much to Isaac''s dismay, and he held up his arm to protest but did not finish doing so, and then set them back down.

    She pulled her head back out and looked over to him.

    ¡°It looks fine. We can go in.¡±

    ¡°Both of us?¡±

    ¡°We don''t need you to stay on the outside. It will be more important to have you there to open it from the inside if necessary.¡±

    Isaac shuffled his feet.

    ¡°You know I have to at least pretend to protest. Are you sure this is safe?¡±

    ¡°Nothing is ever safe. But in the immediate sense, it should be fine.¡±

    He looked down.

    ¡°And why is that?¡±

    ¡°Because remember we were called here. Whoever called us is in there. And I don''t think they are here for a murder-suicide.¡±

    ¡°They may have brought the demons here.¡±

    ¡°It''s nothing we can''t handle.¡±

    ¡°You say that so confidently.¡±

    ¡°There are no consequences for us, because if we fail, we will be dead. So there''s nothing to worry about.¡±

    ¡°That''s... okay. There''s a lot going on there.¡±

    ¡°I''m joking.¡±

    ¡°Are you though?¡±

    She waved her hand.

    ¡°That will be left as an exercise for the reader. Come on.¡±

    Mei climbed up into the edge of the portal and hopped in casually. Isaac hesitated. But he trusted her to keep them safe. It had worked this far, at least. Though he knew that thinking this way violated the problem of induction.

    But it''s not like they had never been in danger before. It was better to get it over with. Like diving into cold water. He liked swimming. He used to have pools wherever he lived as a child and had birthdays at them when he could. He ran up and dove through the portal, his white coat waving on his back behind him.

    <hr>

    Isaac fell headfirst through the portal, with a feeling of an empty wind waving its way around him. Bright blue lights streak past him in endless ribbons, illuminating his face with an eerie, otherworldly glow. He had seen things like this before, of course. But it is always a breathtaking vision. A small piece of reality that reminds you that the world is beyond your comprehension.

    Falling out of the portal, however, Isaac could immediately tell that something was off. His movement was strange, causing him to stumble and fall over, missing his landing. As he stumbled to sit up, and looking at his hands, he could tell his movement was strange and heavy, like he was looking at himself move with some frames missing. He tried to speak, only to find out that sound did not carry in the place they found themselves.

    He felt suddenly nervous and panicky, looking around for Mei. But on seeing her standing there calm, he felt comforted. She had been in more cyber-esoteric spaces than him. So she was probably used to things like this and understood what to expect.

    She turned to him and used sign language to signal that they would likely be unable to communicate with speech here and needed to use signs. Seeing that he looked nervous, she went on to sign that it was okay and was nothing they couldn''t handle. But that they should get a moment to get used to how their bodies would move here.

    Isaac stood up slowly and looked around the room. He had been so preoccupied so much by his own odd movement that he had not yet checked around the surroundings. On standing up, he saw that they were still in a place that resembled a school. But now it was different. Outside there was no light, with the sky trailing off into empty darkness. As if the school was a self-existent structure in a world where nothing else existed. The only light came from lamps within the school. But these had an eerie glow, glowing in a dim blue.

    Isaac felt somewhat disturbed by the area and its inexplicable nature. Was this a construct made by an entity of some kind as a copy of the school? Or was it just a natural outcropping of reality within the unseen areas, tied to it as a reflection of the world of light up above? One you could walk over countless times as you visited the school building without ever knowing what lurked down below.

    He looked back over at Mei. She generally didn''t show any signs of nervousness in situations like this. He couldn''t be quite as fearless as her. Though he was good enough at hiding it that usually no one but her could tell. Even when she was in danger, she never feared for her own life, only showed concern about being a letdown to others. While he used to admire her fearlessness, he learned over time that there was a darker side to it. And that sometimes even seemingly good qualities were a reflection of a troubled mind within.

    He remembered to check his device, but for some reason its screen could not be made visible here. The light would come on, but it was not decipherable. He wondered whether that was just on account of the atmosphere and it would go back to normal later, or whether it was permanently damaged. He hoped it wasn''t the latter, because he hated being wasteful. Mei signed for him to follow, so he put it away and followed on. It might be harder to navigate without the device, but the area did not seem to be overly large. And they were good at keeping their relative bearings.

    They began to walk down the long hallways. The ambiance in them made it hard to get your bearings and felt almost like moving through water. Something about the air made the place have an atmosphere like it was hard to conceive of anything outside of it. It made it feel like if you stayed there too long, you would begin to feel like it was the only place you had ever been. Moving idly between the dim blue lights with no other purpose than to traverse between them across the empty darkness.

    Isaac started to feel hazy. He tried to shake it off to focus on the mission. But... what mission? Why had they come here again? Come here? Where were they before? Was there anywhere before, or had they always been here? They? Who were they? What were they? What?

    The empty sound of footsteps began to carry on without a center. This is where the footsteps were. It is where they had always been. There was no before or after. Only the empty feeling of footsteps traversing the endless halls. There were two pairs of footsteps. But this had no significance. There had always been. There would always be. They would carry on endlessly. A hollow ringing out against the halls of eternity forever.

    The area began to shake. Isaac snapped back to attention in a panic, looking around confused at what had happened. Mei was looking at him with worried eyes. He was dazed and confused and couldn''t remember the last several minutes. Was it minutes? He couldn''t say how long it had been. Or even whether time had meaning here. He wondered how Mei had noticed what had happened to him. He was sure he was still following her. But perhaps she had noticed him have a dorceless expression.

    She signed to him to be careful, or he would become part of the night watch. He nodded back. He still didn''t feel entirely lucid. But he wondered how it was that Mei was unaffected. Or whether she even was. Even if she hadn''t been affected yet, there''s a chance she could be. He realized it was likely important to keep himself aware if needs be to do the same thing in return.

    After a moment to regain more self-awareness, they kept on moving, looking in various rooms to see if there was anyone inside. But as they did not see anything, they were beginning to wonder if there was even anyone here. They did not even see any signs of demons. But this did not inspire confidence. Because it was not a great situation to be where even demons feared to tread.

    Going around the next corner, however, they stopped suddenly, and Mei put her arm out. Because ahead of them were several shapes. And once they got a better look, they could see that it was more demons. And these ones looked stronger than the ones before. Ones that could potentially be a larger issue.

    But they realized at a glance that this case was different. The demons were acting abnormally. Staying fairly motionless. The demons showed no awareness of their presence. And this was abnormal behavior for a demon. Much to Isaac''s dismay, Mei walked up and put her face close to them. But they showed no awareness of her presence. And they did not seem to be lucid.

    Isaac was afraid, but seeing Mei do so, he slowly walked up to look at the demons closely himself. He had never seen one up so close before. Not one he was free to look at, at least. Because if one was nearby, you could normally count on it attacking you. There was still a lot about the demons they didn''t know. A lot about reality in general, that is. For there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in human philosophies.

    Isaac signed to Mei that it seemed like even the demons were affected by the nature of this space. For the space was fairly inexplicable even by the standards of esoteric spaces. And from what they could see, it was likely something the demons weren''t themselves prepared to deal with upon entering. Instead of their ends glowing red, the demons had a faint blue glow, in keeping with the light color of this space. For this space looked like it wasn''t physically capable of having colors within it that were not themselves shades of cold luminescent blue.

    This was concerning to Isaac. If even the demons couldn''t resist the nature of this place, it was likely prone to being very overpowering. And the nature of the place was itself still fairly mysterious. Many esoteric spaces had a nature confusing to humans but seemed to have some practical purpose for existing. But this space seemed to have no purpose at all. It almost seemed like its nature siphoned out the concept of purpose from the air. Revealing the empty structure underneath phenomenal reality that rests only on the void.

    Mei looked down as if thinking. But she looked over to Isaac and shook her head. Isaac thought about it for a moment. But he understood. Demons were the enemy. But even for demons, it wouldn''t feel right to attack them preemptively when they were not self aware. Isaac knew that Mei had guilt as it was, being forced to fight when she could feel the feelings of others so clearly. And knowing that many of them were not individually bad people, just ones who got sucked into a struggle they did not understand.

    Mei was a pacifist at heart. She tried to solve issues non-lethally when possible. Even nonviolently. But this was not always possible. And it is a cruel fate to be the one better at fighting than everyone else who then felt like you had no choice, and so for whom death always followed.

    They started walking on. But as they did, they heard a sound behind them. Turning to look, they saw that the demons had slowly begun to follow them. But it was not intentionally. The demons still did not show any awareness of where they were or what was around them. They simply followed quietly. As if they had no sense of self. Their bodies playing a game of follow the leader due to a lack of any other instruction.

    This unsettled Isaac. For he did not know what to expect next at this point. But Mei had no reaction. And continued forward to look for the lost children. Isaac followed dutifully. But he would keep turning around from moment to moment to make sure nothing changed about the chaotic trail that was behind them.

    They continued on like this for some ways, going into different rooms and hallways. But they did not find anything. There were no people here. And no signs of a struggle either. Nor were there any dead bodies. Isaac began to wonder if they had come to the wrong place. For it was always possible that the ebb and flow of esoteric spaces had shifted since the children had disappeared from the school. And to be concerned about staying there too long. If they did not find anything, eventually they should get back before fully succumbing to this place themselves. Isaac felt like this could happen to him again at any time. Though even Mei likely could not hold it off forever.

    Eventually, however, at the end of a hall, they came to a dead end. And though the demons behind them were idle, they realized they would have to walk past them to go in reverse. They did so initially without much trouble. But as they did, the demons began to move towards them. But even now they showed no awareness in their eyes. Their stance became combative. But it was like a reflex. They had fully lost themselves to the dark school. But their bodies still knew the reflex of aggression. And so he took on a fighting stance.

    Mei looked at them, pained. But in the end, she drew her blade. And upon this, Isaac did the same with his guns. A demon lurched at her, and she jumped back. This happened a second and a third time. But nothing changed about their demeanor. And so on the fourth time, she slashed back, cutting it in half. The other demons quickly followed, starting an all-out fight. But despite this, the school remained quiet. Like the empty reflection of a time long since gone by, but which would remain forever.

    They quickly dispatched the demons. But not without effort. For even in the demons'' non-lucid state, on account of their size and number, they were still a danger. As the demons lie dead at their feet, Isaac could see that Mei had gained a pained expression. And she looked over at him, with her black eyes conveying all the feelings she was holding inside. These demons had likely killed many people before. And ultimately worked for a force that, in the end, was the true evil. But even so, they were not aware in that moment. And it made Mei reflect harder for the first time on the nature of the demons themselves. Even the demons may have had lives of their own. And may have at one point been benevolent. As they died, they had expressions like they were finally at peace. Dissolving into the nirvana that had sapped them of their hatred.

    Mei did something that shocked Isaac. And stopped to say a prayer for the demons. He was stunned at first. But then smiled slightly to himself. Because of course, of all people, she would do this. So in a show of solidarity he made a motion of doing the same.

    They turned to continue on. But as they did so, they stopped suddenly. For they began to hear footsteps other than their own. And these ones did not sound like demons. Mei and Isaac looked back into the dark corridor behind them from whence the footsteps came, waiting to see what would emerge from it. But in the end, nothing did. The footsteps passed them by. And though there was a resounding sound as if someone was coming right between them, in the end they could see nothing. And nothing more could be discerned from this noise.

    Unsettled, they kept moving. Finally, they ran into something that looked more promising. At the end of the hall, they came to what looked like a floating blue sheet. They could not tell what it was, but they could see that on the other side, the atmosphere looked different. As if it was from a different place entirely. They looked at eachother. But the shimmering barrier did not seem to be dangerous. So they stepped through.

    All at once they could tell the atmosphere was different, and closer to regular space. On the other side, it was no longer dark, being once again bright and colorful. And they noticed that once again their movement and speech had returned to normal. But despite this, there was still a sense of unease. Because getting lost in a series of esoteric spaces would not be an ideal outcome either. And at this point they could no longer predict what the meaning of these spaces might be. And though the dark school was now behind them, its nature felt no less mysterious than before.

    They found themselves walking out of a door and into an open meadow covered in flowers and ringed around by cherry blossom trees. Around them, it looked similar to normal space and could almost be confused for it at a glance. But there were details in the sky that made it clear that they were not. For the sky above looked similar to as if it had the northern lights in it. Which is something that would not be expected in the atmosphere of the place that they had found themselves if it were in normal space.

    In the center of the field, they saw a figure wearing dark robes. They looked at each other, nodded, and began walking towards it. Mei noticed something out of the corner of her eye and leaned in to Isaac to tell him to be careful. They got within a stone''s throw of the figure and stopped. The figure was merely standing, not showing any reaction to them. From up close, they could see that it was an older monk in dark robes and holding a walking staff. To the relief of both of them, it did not appear to be the black knight. Though they were still cautious about what it was they were seeing.

    They stood there for a long while. The monk was looking up at the sky. And because of this they did so as well. Eventually the monk began to speak.

    "If I do not descend into hell to help the suffering beings, who then will go? Until the hells are empty, I can not rest."

    He turned his head slightly back.

    ¡°You have had this feeling as well, have you not?¡±

    Mei looked down.

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    The monk looked forward again.

    ¡°That is good. But you must account for yourself as well. No one can shoulder everything on their own.¡±

    Mei looked forward, taking on a determined tone.

    ¡°I will do what I must.¡±

    ¡°That too is good. But do still be careful.¡±

    He rummaged in his sleeve.

    ¡°There is one other thing though, however. Please indulge me. For there is something I have to test.¡±

    Mei quickly dove out of the way, because as he finished speaking, he turned and threw an energy blast in her direction. She slowly stood back up and made a hand signal to Isaac.

    The monk started walking towards them slowly. Isaac took out his guns and shot in his direction, but a wave of light surrounding him repelled it. He realized that bullets were not going to help here and took a step back.

    Mei walked forward, igniting her saber, and slashed at the sphere of light. But it repelled the blade. Mei being stunned for a second at the blade being repelled, the monk took the opportunity to swing his staff back at her. But she was too quick and shifted her blade to block the strike. As she stood there with the blade locked, the monk showed no emotion. So it was difficult to get a read on his intentions.

    Or at least would be for some. She took a step back to charge her blade with ether. And ran around to slash at the sphere from another side. This time it predictably shattered. But she was shocked to find another barrier behind it. Before she could do anything about this, the monk swung back at her, and she had to dodge to the side. The monk now took a step forward to make a swing at her, but she parried it back. And this happened a few more times in succession. She took a step back to catch her breath.

    She was intrigued by this. She had fought people on her level before. And in rare cases, a few even better. But never anyone like this. The monk was not as fast as her. He would not have been able to keep up in a direct fight. But his ability to create defenses was on a level she had never seen before. And he was able to use these to buy himself time between each attack.

    At this point, she figured that he was likely able to make new barriers each time one was broken. And he did it so effortlessly that it likely didn''t take much strain on ether either. So it would be difficult to carve through all of them. She wondered how long he could keep these up if they were broken. But it likely could not be forever. So this would likely become a battle of attrition. She wondered, could she get through all of them before making a mistake that opens herself for attack?

    Her mind went to the black knight. But this case was different. This was winnable, as long as she stayed focused.

    The monk stopped and made a face.

    ¡°You shouldn''t dwell on the past. Or the future, for that matter.¡±

    She wiped her face and smirked.

    ¡°You can do it too, huh? Don''t worry, I''ll take it under advisement.¡±

    She took a step forward again, cutting through one of the barriers, but this time dodging around his attack to cut the next. And she wondered how Isaac was doing, because this was taking her full attention.

    Isaac was behind her, still aiming his guns. But after the initial volley, he did not shoot again. But this was because he had something else to take up his attention. Still not looking directly at the one he was focusing on, he spoke aloud.

    ¡°You didn''t really think that was going to work, did you?¡±

    He turned around and shot at the shadowed figure in the tree behind him. Out of it, a girl did a backflip, landing on the ground. She squinted at him, annoyed at having been discovered. She was dressed a bit eccentric, like an assassin wearing a skirt and long gloves. Her hair was pink, though Isaac assumed that it was dyed.

    She dove towards him and took out three throwing daggers to throw in his direction. But she was unbalanced from having been discovered and clearly didn''t intend to be in this position, making it hard to do the recovery. Mei had signed for him not to hurt her earlier, so in place of guns he used an incapacitating ether field, which slowed her down, giving her a shock that made her unable to continue fighting. She initially tried to struggle but realized that it was no use as he had quickly replaced the ether restraint with an actual one, tying her hands behind her back.

    She glared at him at first but quickly gave up and made a resigned expression.

    ¡°Erk. How did you notice me?¡±

    He smiled softly.

    ¡°The truth is, I didn''t. Mei pointed you out to me when we were coming in. Nothing can get past her eagle eyes.¡±

    ¡°You must trust her a lot, huh.¡±

    ¡°Well, I owe her a lot for what she did for me. And... the world owes her a lot for what she is doing for them.¡±

    ¡°Gee, don''t use up all your positive words at once.¡±

    Isaac got embarrassed slightly, realizing how he had started talking about her again. He knew that Mei would get embarrassed and tell him to stop if he acted too grateful. But in getting to work with her, he could see how much she had shouldered to end up in the position she was in. And it was hard to separate his own feelings from how he saw her larger place in the world.

    The girl spoke again.

    ¡°But... I can see what you mean. I feel the same way. When I was young, I was... thrown away by my family. I was left at the ends of infinity to waste away doing nothing. There were six of us there. But demons would come and kill us one by one. At the end it was only me left. But the traveling monk Huishen came and rescued me. Originally, he didn''t want to let me come because I was young. But eventually, when I was a little older, he let me follow him.¡±

    ¡°Follow him doing what?¡±

    ¡°Descending into hell to rescue the children that are there. This happens in a lot of cases, you know. Where I come from in backwater Ho Ton Tinh, people will take children they want to get rid of and bring them to a cyber-shaman to drop into another reality. Gets rid of them off the record with no chance of discovery. And they can just report them as missing.¡±

    Isaac looked sad.

    ¡°And that''s what happened to you?¡±

    She looked pained in turn.

    ¡°Yeah. Though I did not know about it at the time. At the time, I just woke up one day, and they were just... gone. Never to be seen again.¡±

    ¡°You never went back to confront them?¡±

    She shook her head.

    ¡°I have no interest in seeing my family again. They probably assume I am dead. In a way, they are right. The me they know is dead already. The old me has been for a long time.¡±

    She held up her hands and squeezed her fists.

    ¡°But I have been... reborn. So they mean nothing to me now. I don''t need them.¡±

    Isaac looked down sadly.

    ¡°I had to leave my family too. But I felt too attached to them to fully cut them off. I went back to try to figure out why they did to me what they did. But... I never really got any answers. I suppose I will have to live without closure like that. And just learn to move on.¡±

    She looked at him.

    ¡°What did they do to you?¡±

    He thought about it.

    ¡°Well, a lot. But I suppose...¡±

    Gears started turning in his head. And he realized that she shouldn''t have been able to put up her arms in front of her. He looked over.

    ¡°Wait a minute, how did you...¡±

    But he realized suddenly that the arm restraints were no longer on her. And he looked down, realizing that they were now on him.

    ¡°What??¡±

    She stood up and dusted herself off.

    ¡°You really need to learn to pay better attention.¡±

    She swept his legs out from under him, causing him to fall onto the ground. For a moment he was afraid, but then he remembered that Mei had implied to him a few minutes back that these people did not seem to mean them any serious harm.

    ¡°Now, let''s watch the rest of their fight.¡±

    ¡°Hey, wait a minute.¡±

    She sat down on his back to keep him in place.

    ¡°My name is Thao Do, by the way. What''s yours?¡±

    He sighed, resigned.

    ¡°Isaac. Isaac Dorian.¡±

    ¡°Well, I''ll try to remember it. We are going to be seeing a lot more of each other in the future, so get used to it.¡±

    ¡°Come again?¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Nevermind.¡±

    At this point the girl was moreso being a nuisance, and Isaac didn''t feel like pressing any more under the current circumstances. So giving up resigned, he looked over with her to the other fight that was still going on in the center of the field. They could see Mei slashing at the barriers and cutting through them, and at this point the barriers were looking worse for wear. They quietly watched the rest of the fight, but from what they could see, the outcome was a given. Eventually, Mei broke through, knocked away the monk''s staff, and held her blade up to him. They started speaking. Though Isaac and the girl were too far away to tell about what.

    Isaac breathed a sign of relief. Eventually he saw Mei start smiling and laughing, so it seemed like whatever they were talking about was going well. Eventually they started walking in a different direction, much to Isaac''s confusion.

    ¡°Where are they going?¡±

    ¡°Probably to get the children.¡±

    ¡°Wait, you found the children?¡±

    ¡°Did you think we were just hanging out here for fun?¡±

    ¡°You know, I don''t know you; how would I know how or why you do anything?¡±

    ¡°I literally just told you we go looking for children to save.¡±

    ¡°I...¡±

    Isaac thought about it.

    ¡°Oh, that''s right, you did.¡±

    They saw Mei and the monk fade out of the end of the area and then back in with a group of schoolchildren behind them who were jumping around and seemed to be speaking in her direction. As they began walking closer, Isaac realized he was still on the ground.

    "Hey, wait a minute, can I get up now?¡±

    The girl tapped her head smugly.

    ¡°Hmm. I guess so.¡±

    She stood up from Isaac''s back and took the restraints off his arms. He stood up and wiped off his jacket, looking down at it and annoyed that he might have to clean it now. But he didn''t express this annoyance. Turning to the approaching figures, he saw that Mei noticed his annoyance anyhow, and he looked away for a moment embarrassed.

    When the children got close, they began jumping around again. ,

    ¡°Wow, that was amazing! She was amazing! How did you learn to move like that?¡±

    Isaac was excited to speak to them, and so for a moment he crouched over to speak to them about the questions they had for him. But as this began to subside, he stood up again. Mei spoke first to explain to Isaac what happened.

    ¡°It looks like they actually found the children several days ago. They had a device for creating an esoteric space, so the reason this field exists is that they made a space within a space, so that there was a more safe place to keep them than the dark school.¡±

    Isaac thought about this for a second.

    ¡°But why stay here at all?¡±

    The monk looked caught and rubbed his head a bit.

    ¡°See, this is a bit embarrassing, but... we didn''t know how to get out. We came in to make sure they were as safe as possible. But, realizing that this particular exit path would be something that was difficult for us, we sent a message for you, hoping to be able to keep them safe until we could be rescued.¡±

    Isaac thought about it.

    ¡°I suppose that makes sense.¡±

    He thought about it some more.

    ¡°But wait, why did you ambush us?¡±

    Thao spoke up now and raised her hand in a fist.

    ¡°We had to see what you were made of before we go with you. And well, the children found it entertaining. Don''t worry, they were safe on the other side of the barrier.¡±

    Isaac was confused.

    ¡°See what we were made of? Why exactly? Wait, go with us??¡±

    Mei turned to him.

    ¡°Isaac. I think we found a solution to one of the issues we just talked about. We had a problem filling out a particular niche. So for once, Providence is on our side.¡±

    ¡°But are we sure the group will even allow...¡±

    Isaac checked himself and smiled.

    ¡°Of course they will. They can''t say no to you.¡±

    The monk smiled and spoke again, to Isaac.

    ¡°Ah, but I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Dizang Huishen. We know of your mission already. And will follow you to the throne of the Mahabrahma itself if you have need of us.¡±

    Isaac smiled back and shook his hand.

    ¡°That we do. Thank you, on our behalf. My name is Isaac. Isaac Dorian.¡±

    He paused for a moment, and then turning back to Mei pointed his thumb back at the girl.

    ¡°Do we have to take this one though? She is kind of obnoxious.¡±

    ¡°What, how dare you?¡±

    Thao raised her arms up like she was about to hit Isaac, and he held his arm up to keep her arms away.

    Huishen turned to Mei.

    ¡°We will bring back the children so you don''t get discovered. And we can meet with you again in a day or two.¡±

    After this, he shook his head.

    ¡°We must still be careful returning. Or we will be pulled in and become part of the night watch.¡±

    Mei put her hand up to her face.

    ¡°Meet with us, you say? It just so happens; I know a place.¡±

    Isaac and Thao stopped struggling to look over to her. Isaac responded quizzically.

    ¡°Know a place? Wait, you don''t mean...¡±

 19: The Night Watch

    The sound of footsteps reverberates far throughout the hallway, echoing off the row of idle windows. At this time of night, the footsteps were the only sound to be heard; the trudging of a single pair navigating the empty halls. The sharp blue glare of the nighttime lights gave a cold appearance, as the only thing separating the solitary points of illumination from the empty darkness.

    The hall it trails is one like many others. Each one has the same lights. Each one has the same darkness. Each one has the same cold appearance. They are differentiated only by the rooms they open up to. The halls trail around and around until they once again reach their point of origin. The footsteps follow them in the same way.

    The path of the footsteps went down the corridor and up through the empty offices. Through each one, they went in and out, mapping out the floor of the area. Observing. Cataloging. Perceiving. Ensuring that everything remained the same. Static. Empty.

    The purpose of the footsteps was this cataloging. To ensure the building stays as it is. Disruptions to its stasis are a violation of this purpose. There must not be more than one set of footsteps. They must remain alone. The building must remain silent. They must continue their path.

    The footsteps carry a light of their own, sharp and piercing. This light trails from object to object as an extension of this cataloging. In the path of this light, each object is considered in turn to measure for this stasis. To ensure it is as it was before. To ensure it will remain as it is after. Frozen in stasis now, as if to stretch on to eternity.

    The trail of light shifts cyclically in nature, sometimes brightly, sometimes dim. It will rest on an object for observation, as if to burn into it the mark of being perceived. Besides this, there is nothing to break its reverie. It is this observation alone that registers its stasis. It will not be seen again until the cycle repeats. Until it is approached by the same footsteps. Until it is shone on by the same light. Until it is cataloged once again. Until it is marked down once again to be the same.Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    As the footsteps come out of the offices, they are met with the same hall. They must continue on, as they did before. The process for going in and out of each room is the same, ending by ensuring it is left behind, locked to preserve its idle solitude. As this is done for each of them in turn, the footsteps again carry on, ambling in idle solitude of their own.

    The trail of the steps carries them to the outside courtyard. The courtyard itself, though it is full of vegetation, has an air of silence at this time, with nothing but a muted breeze to break the frozen stillness. From here, the path winds around to other structures that have no indoor path between them. The buildings themselves are shrouded in black. Lit up again, only by the same occasional dim blue lights. Beyond the courtyard, there is nothing to see. Beyond the gates, it stretches on, only to infinite darkness.

    The footsteps walk down the path to examine inside each of the buildings in turn. Each of the buildings is different, but the inside halls remain the same. Each needs to be observed and cataloged. Within each one, the distinction between them is lost within the endless halls. It is only the rooms at the end of the halls that differentiate them. The footsteps go in and repeat the same process they have done before.

    At the end of the path, the footsteps are brought around and reach back to the initial building. Although it looks the same, it is imperceptibly different. Because, try as the process might, nothing can ever be fully preserved. Nothing can undo the endless march of time. The door is once again opened, and the path takes the footsteps inside.

    The sound of footsteps reverberates far throughout the hallway, echoing off the row of idle windows. At this time of night, the footsteps were the only sound to be heard; the trudging of a single pair navigating the empty halls. The sharp blue glare of the nighttime lights gave a cold appearance, as the only thing separating the solitary points of illumination from the empty darkness.

    The hall it trails is one like many others. Each one has the same lights. Each one has the same darkness. Each one has the same cold appearance. They are differentiated only by the rooms they open up to. The halls trail around and around until they once again reach their point of origin. The footsteps follow them in the same way.

 20: The Midnight Sun: Round 2

    Thao stood in front of the locker looking at it nervously. After Mei''s idea, she had been interested in the suggestion of meeting here at the Midnight Sun, thinking it might be a useful way to learn about herself and her feelings about her own body. It felt odd. Even though she had just met her, something made her feel like she could trust Mei right away. And this is part of what made her feel like it was okay to come to a place like this. No way she would have thought of it without someone trustworthy around. Though it''s true that now that she was here, she still had some reservations.

    She looked up.

    ¡°I''m still a little Jittery about this. I''ve never been to somewhere like this before.¡±

    Mei was next to her undressing.

    ¡°It can be a bit nervous at first. I think it is for everyone. It definitely was for me. But when you get used to it, you start to realize that it feels freeing in a way. Being unconstrained by limits and expectations. Existing outside of the constraints and identity society places on you.¡±

    ¡°Identity?¡±

    ¡°Maybe that one is just me.¡±

    ¡°Well... it''s not just that. Society isn''t kind to people like me. Especially not where I came from. With today''s technology, it is easier to pass off how you want to be seen. But few people have seen me well... exposed like this since I started living like this. And that has been many years.¡±

    Mei leaned back.

    ¡°You know, it''s not too late. We can go somewhere else if you are uncomfortable.¡±

    Thao closed her eyes and thought about it.

    ¡°No. This is something I want to do. I''ve spent a long time afraid of discovery. But I want to learn to live without fear. To freely live as who I am. And to feel that people can accept me for that. I know that many will not. But I''ve been rejected once already. And I want to learn to carry myself despite this.¡±

    She shuddered a bit.

    ¡°Though I have to admit, I am still worried about how people might react.¡±

    Mei held up her hand to speak.

    ¡°Well, I think you will be pleasantly surprised how open places like this can be. Places like this aren''t perfect, and some people do get hassled in them. But it will likely be different than you are used to. This isn''t a place for the dogmatic, so you will likely come out with more positivity than negativity.¡±

    She shrugged.

    ¡°And besides, no one will mess with you when you are with me.¡±

    Thao looked up at Mei. Thao was a little tall for a girl on account of how she was born, but Mei would have been considered tall for anyone. And she definitely had a scary appearance. While Mei had a fit body type that showed visible signs of having seen a lot of combat, it was her face that came off most frightening. Something about her expression came off like underneath it was an endless void. And it came off unsettling even to Thao, who had been in many a scary situation. But despite this, Mei''s demeanor came off in some ways the opposite. Thao felt like she had a deep wellspring of caring. And was someone she could share anything with, despite having just met her.

    Thao thought about the nature of humiliation in general. It''s true; if she really wanted, she could probably take a lot of the people who might mock her in a fight. But not everything is about fighting. And when you are vulnerable, even people who might not be a physical threat to you can demean you. Because you can''t resolve everything with violence. And with the weight of society on their side, it''s not always easy to handle the weight of it crushing down on you from several directions at once.

    But this too was a chance to learn. They came here to join Mei''s crusade. And if she was going to trust Mei with her life, she figured she should also be willing to trust her about how to handle the possibility of being mistreated in public. She was a bit worried. But truth be told, she was also kind of enticed about the idea of coming here. She never did anything like this before. And it had an empowering feeling.

    Mei stood up, and Thao looked up at her. Mei was now mostly naked other than for her shoes. But she had a large bag over her shoulder.

    ¡°Also, I talked to Huishen about something. I have a surprise to show you later. Something that may be a confidence booster.¡±

    ¡°A surprise? What is it?¡±

    ¡°Well, it wouldn''t be a surprise if you knew what it was.¡±

    ¡°I...¡±

    Thao made a pouty face.

    ¡°I guess.¡±

    She looked down and smiled.

    ¡°But thank you. It means a lot to have someone who cares about me. Other than Huishen, I haven''t had anyone who did in a long time. I suppose partially it was by choice. But I was afraid. To show people how I really am. Afraid of rejection.¡±

    Mei shook her head.

    ¡°Sometimes people have to hide parts of themselves by necessity. There''s no one-size-fits-all solution. But few people can be happy hiding all the time. The truth is, there are a lot of things I hide from everyone but Isaac. And Tian knows, I keep my family on a need-to-know basis. But it''s painful. And it feels good when I can find people to share with.¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°But I''m glad you are here too. Because more people to share with always helps.¡±

    She started walking and waved for Thao to follow.

    ¡°Come on, we don''t want to take all day.¡±

    Thao looked forward.

    ¡°Alright.¡±

    She breathed in for a moment to build up the courage and then quickly took off the rest of her clothes.

    <hr>

    This was the moment of truth. Thao''s heart was beating heavily, now that at this point she was only wearing socks and shoes. They were still inside the walkway and so hadn''t really been seen by people yet. She put her hands on the door to the main courtyard. And hesitated.

    She looked to Mei, who had a face of encouragement, and nodded back at her. And felt strengthened by this. And so she pushed it open to walk through. On the other side, she held up her arms as a sign of taking in the newfound freedom that she felt. As if pushing through to something difficult.

    And... that was it. There were some people on the other side close by. Some looked over with confused stares to see what she was doing. Some were confused by her appearance and looked down. There were a few dirty glances, but none of them did or said anything beyond that. She felt almost disappointed. She felt like it was going to be a big thing to do. But in the end she realized that this was a place where it was normal. So naturally there would be little reaction at seeing just another person walk through the door.

    Mei laughed.

    ¡°See? No one cares. Was it everything you ever dreamed?¡±

    Thao hesitated a bit to think about it.

    ¡°You know what, it kind of is.¡±

    She thought for longer.

    ¡°It''s almost a sense of relief. I never thought that it was possible that people could just see me and not really care about what... who I am.¡±

    She donned a more natural smiling expression.

    ¡°And even besides that, sometimes you just worry how you look in general, you know?¡±

    ¡°Well, come on. I know where there is food here. There is a place called Cafe Lewis here where Isaac should be waiting for us already. And I am incredibly starving.¡±

    They walked across the courtyard. As they did so, as she often did, Mei looked around at the people who were sitting in it as they walked by. Mei was often interested in seeing who was around her and whether they had any interesting stories to tell. In one corner was a guy who looked like a shady type. He had an eye patch and several scars and was looking around suspiciously as if he had a criminal past and was concerned someone might scrutinize. Mei wondered what this past might be, but at any rate there was no reason to try to accost him.

    She looked around again. At another table there were two women who looked like they were doing some type of papercraft. Mei was always naturally interested when seeing people do art, being an artist herself. But being also fairly aloof with people, she normally didn''t end up speaking to them, and sometimes regretted it later. These ones seemed to be making small people shapes. She wondered what they were being used for. But she supposed she would never know.

    On the opposite side of the seats, there was a group of people of mixed sexes playing nude blizzball next to the outdoor pool. Mei had never played before. She wondered how good she would be at something like that, on account of her aptitude. But she had never particularly been into that kind of sport. When she was younger, she played a few sports for a while but never kept up with it. The main athletic thing she had done during that time being mainly swordplay.

    At the far side of the pool, she saw a grey cat sitting on the ground. She had seen this cat here before from time to time, but it did not seem to be officially owned by anyone here and did not have a collar. Potentially a stray cat that just moved in of its own accord and domesticated itself. She felt a little jealous at the ease it seemed to have in finding a place it fit in. She stopped and bent over to pet the cat for a few moments before moving on.

    But while still petting the cat, Mei suddenly felt a somber air. She looked over to the direction it was coming from and saw the man from the old couple she had seen here last time she was here. But now the man was here alone. And his demeanor had changed. Mei paused for a moment, realizing what this meant. Thao looked back at her, wondering why she had stopped so long without speaking. Thao looked over at the man Mei was looking at but did not see the significance of him. She looked back at Mei.

    ¡°What?¡±

    Mei paused for a few moments, looking at the ground.

    ¡°Nothing.¡±

    They continued on longer until they got to the restaurant, walking through its wide doors. On the inside, it was fairly populated. Not quite full, but there were a decent amount of people strewn about in various clusters, sitting and standing. Thao was shocked, having never been around so many naked people before in so close a vicinity. Being more crammed together than the people in the courtyard had been. But true to Mei''s word, nobody hassled them. And not many even looked in her direction. There was something kind of freeing about the thing you were afraid of being something that falls unnoticed.

    They heard a voice call out to them.

    ¡°Hey Mei, over here.¡±

    They looked over to see Isaac waving and making noise to catch their attention over the loud sounds of the populated dining area. Mei winced slightly on seeing him. Since she viewed him like a little brother, she wasn''t totally comfortable with the idea of seeing him undressed. Though he had been here with her before, and so it wasn''t the first time. Isaac, on the other hand, on account of his inclinations and having a different way he was raised, didn''t really think about it. Women''s bodies didn''t particularly interest him in the first place after all.

    They walked over to sit with him, and Mei put her bag down next to the table, sitting on Isaac''s side. Isaac absent-mindedly looked at Thao, who was still standing, and then looked down slightly, making a slightly shocked expression.

    ¡°Oh. I didn''t know you were...¡±

    He stopped himself from commenting, but not quite fast enough. She held up her arm in an antagonistic stance.

    ¡°Hey, you got a problem with that?¡±

    Isaac suddenly looked awkward, like he wasn''t sure what to say next.

    ¡°No, I... I just didn''t...¡±

    He thought a moment, then made a sarcastic expression, pointing back.

    ¡°I mean, I have a problem with you personally, just not for that reason.¡±

    She pointed at him.

    ¡°Hey, you wanna go?¡±

    Mei stepped in before the semi-playful banter got any worse. She regretted slightly not mentioning this about Thao ahead of time. This was something Mei could determine at a glance, but Isaac would most likely not have been able to.

    ¡°Look, I know you got off on the wrong foot, but I think it''s better to get over that now, so it doesn''t cause problems in the future.¡±

    They both went silent. What she said wasn''t that complicated, but somehow Mei saying it carried a tone that instantly deflated their desire for antagonism. Neither of them was willing to go against her. And they felt a little embarrassed suddenly to be antagonistic with each other in her presence.

    Thao looked to the side.

    ¡°Sorry. I was just a little annoyed that you could beat me so fast. I kind of wanted revenge, and you weren''t paying attention at the time.¡±

    Isaac was silent for a moment.

    ¡°Well, I''m sorry too for acting aggressive about it. And for ah, acting shocked.¡±

    He went silent for a bit, thinking back on the conversation he had had with Mei shortly before meeting them. And realizing something else.

    ¡°I think its not just that though. I suppose I felt a little threatened at someone new intruding into what I considered our space. Even though we work with other people, that is a little different. Its a bit weird to say, because I am technically older than I look. But My past feels like another life. And since leaving it behind it has only ever really been me and Mei. Not to say I don''t know other people. But they don''t really feel like family. There are certain things they wouldn''t be able to understand.¡±

    Thao looked suddenly more somber and understanding.

    ¡°I get it. This is how it was for us too. And its true. I probably would have felt jealous if I felt like anyone was threatening my connection to my guardian. Though truth be told there are things even I don''t know about him.¡±

    She leaned back.

    ¡°But don''t worry. I will try not to be disruptive. I don''t want to steal anything from you.¡±

    As she said this, she held up Isaac''s wallet, and handed it back to him, much to his dismay as he hadn''t seen her take it.

    ¡°I don''t want to intrude in a space you consider sacred if its off limits. But if you don''t mind, I think we could both use more spaces for other people in general.¡±

    She held up a hand to shake.

    ¡°So... friends?¡±

    Realizing now what his own feelings were, Isaac no longer had reservations. And its true that he felt like their situation had been a little lonely on account of everything. And so it would be better to have more who could understand to be close to.

    He smiled back, and took her hand to shake.

    ¡°Friends.¡±

    Mei was listening to this quietly, thinking about Isaac. She knew he had felt that way in the last few days, but she had felt cowardly to bring it up. And it seems like he too hadn''t wanted to speak to her about it directly. Its not like he really thought that she would stop being close with him from having other people to work closely with. It was more of an abstract feeling. One that even if you know it isn''t accurate it is hard to do away with.

    She reached over and patted his head like she used to do when he was younger. Well, physically younger that is. It was a simple motion. But she could tell he understood. And that at the moment that was all either of them wanted to share on the matter. Especially with someone else close by.

    Feeling like those introductions were now over, Mei wanted to move on. They did have more practical things to speak of. But that could wait until after they ate. And there was something else she was eager to talk about first.

    ¡°So you are from Ho Ton Tinh? My family came from there several generations ago.¡±

    ¡°I was. Although I am not especially eager to ever go back there, on account of everything.¡±

    ¡°That''s understandable.¡±

    Mei picked up the menu and waved it back and forth.

    ¡°They actually have some Ho Ton Tinhese food here, which is part of why I choose this place to eat at when here. They actually have a few different food places, since the place has such a big grounds.¡±

    She opened it to point at a page.

    ¡°They have pho here, too. I often get it when I come. I grew up drinking... eating...¡±

    Mei suddenly looked confused.

    ¡°Wait, do you eat soup or drink soup?¡±

    Isaac looked at her and made a here we go again face. It wasn''t uncommon for Mei to get sidetracked with trivialities like this.

    ¡°I don''t... I don''t think it matters which one you say, Mei.¡±

    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°But which one is correct like, grammatically?¡±

    ¡°I still don''t think it matters. Maybe like... I think you can say either?¡±

    ¡°Both of them kind of sound wrong though.¡±

    ¡°I don''t...¡±

    They all got silent and looked down at the table a moment. Eventually Mei looked back up.

    ¡°What was I talking about?¡±

    Thao looked at her.

    ¡°Soup?¡±

    ¡°Right! So I grew up with my family making pho at home. So I was glad to find out this place had it. Because there aren''t a lot of Hotontinhians around here, so its not always easy to find.¡±

    Thao looked over the menu.

    ¡°They also have Bun Bo Hue. I also really like that.¡±

    Mei suddenly donned a blank expression.

    ¡°Bun Bo Hue? What is that?¡±

    ¡°Its another Hotontinhian soup. Its not as well known internationally, but I like it better.¡±

    ¡°Oh...¡±

    Mei looked away, a little embarrassed. She had never actually been to Ho Ton Tinh. And though she thought of herself as somewhat connected to it on account of her family''s culture, it felt a little awkward to suddenly be face to face with someone who is actually from the place itself and who she realized suddenly must know a lot more, because their knowledge of its aspects came firsthand, rather than through vague cultural memories.

    Being faced with something she didn''t know made her suddenly feel a little like she was just playing pretend in terms of her connection. Drinking a tourist soup passed out for mass appeal. Play acting as something she had no knowledge of. Thinking about this made her head hurt a bit. She already didn''t have a place in her family. Or the culture of Fusang itself. It felt like suddenly one more avenue of connection was being severed.

    She zoned out, getting lost thinking about her place in the world. Isaac and Thao looked at Mei, who now seemed overly somber.

    ¡°Are you... okay?¡±

    Mei zoned back in.

    ¡°Sorry. Just thinking.¡±

    Thao turned her head sideways.

    ¡°About soup?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°I didn''t know soup was such serious business.¡±

    ¡°Anything can be.¡±

    Mei thought about it. But then looked back and smiled.

    ¡°I''ve actually never had Bun Bo Hue before. To tell the truth, I didn''t even know what it was. Like, I saw it on the menu, but I didn''t recognize it, so I always just glossed over it.¡±

    ¡°Its a little different from Pho. It has spicier broth, and thicker noodles. The broth is also usually more red. I can''t say exactly what all the differences are though. I''ve never made it myself.¡±

    Mei looked at it on the menu, and then back up.

    ¡°I''m glad to meet someone who is actually from the country though. I''ve always wanted to know a little more about it. But its not the same when you are only reading about it.¡±

    ¡°Don''t expect me to know too much. I left when I was fairly young.¡±

    ¡°Well, I left hundreds of years before I was even born. So that''s still more than me.¡±

    They both smiled at eachother. After awhile Mei held up her hand close to thao''s

    ¡°Its interesting though. Even though my family left generations ago, my skin and eyes are still darker than yours. I wonder how that works.¡±

    ¡°Well, not everyone in the country has the same skin shade. Its a long and thin country. And people on the north side often have lighter skin.¡±

    ¡°Hmm. That makes sense. Its true my family was from the south. I suppose a lot of the Hotontinhian diaspora was. A lot came over after the war.¡±

    Mei leaned her head on her hand.

    ¡°Well, thanks. It looks like I have a lot to learn from you.¡±

    Now Thao felt suddenly shy. That was something she wanted to say to Mei. And even Huishen had told her that it would make sense to learn from her. So it felt wrong to hear it the other way around. Even if it was just for cultural information. But despite this she wanted to feel useful. And above all to feel appreciated. So she would take any opportunity to, even in ways that weren''t directly mission-related.

    But their conversation was cut short suddenly by a loud and eccentric figure walking towards them with his hands out. The figure was a naked man, other than for a bartending collar and futuristic visor. Thao assumed that the visor must be for some form of security related purpose. Overall she thought his appearance looked a little funny, though she wasn''t sure whether it was okay to act openly amused about it and so she kept it to herself.

    ¡°Hey, hey hey. It looks Like Mei is back. And... I remember your name, your name is Isaac right? And it looks like you have someone new with you.¡±

    Mei looked over at the approaching figure.

    ¡°Hello Cade.¡±

    Mei thought about it for a moment.

    ¡°Wait, this isn''t the bar.¡±

    ¡°Ordinarily I wouldn''t be taking orders on the restaurant side, but ah... there''s a lot less people here than normal. After the events last month, a lot of people took off. They weren''t sure whether their activities would be safe from the temple anymore. Ownership got kicked to someone new. Things were in disarray for a few weeks, but a lot of stuff is up and running again. It doesn''t look like the temple, or even local law enforcement, acted particularly interested in the events, though. Things have been more quiet than expected.¡±

    Mei made a thinking face, placing her hand over her mouth.

    ¡°Well, the temple didn''t want to get involved. It seems like they deliberately leaked information to us in the hopes that us being the ones to handle it would cut down on numbers of two different groups that were a thorn in their side. And we didn''t feel like we could ignore it, knowing what was at risk. Though I think it was probable if we didn''t do anything, the temple would have gotten involved themselves. Not even they could overlook someone accidentally destroying a large chunk of the city. Not unless they had some propagandist purpose for it, that is.¡±

    Isaac suddenly looked nervous and looked around the room.

    ¡°Wait, should we even be here right now? Some people might not like, err... what happened.¡±

    Thao was curious.

    ¡°What happened here? Were you involved?¡±

    Isaac stopped looking around and looked at her nervously.

    ¡°Would you believe no?¡±

    Mei turned to her to respond.

    ¡°An ex techno-gnostic was here running a kind of cult. He was trying to use an artifact to gain power to fight against the temple with. But he engaged in a lot of dangerous practices. And he was on the verge of doing something that was about to get a lot of people killed. Not intentionally. On accident.¡±

    Mei looked into the distance.

    ¡°He wasn''t a bad guy really. But something in his past broke his mind a bit. And he became obsessed in a bad way. And was in a bit over his head. This is the unfortunate nature of power when it comes down to it. A lot of people think good intentions and determination are enough to make good things happen. But those aren''t enough. And too much power used incorrectly can hurt a lot of people regardless of your intentions.¡±

    Cade looked back at them.

    ¡°At any rate, I don''t think anyone who is left from his group that is still here is going to antagonize you now. They have their own stuff going on. And they don''t want to attract attention.¡±

    ¡°Well... that''s good. I don''t want to antagonize them either, if it can be avoided. The truth is, I respect to a degree what he was trying to do. And what he made of this place in general.¡±

    She gestured around the place, looking at Thao.

    ¡°You know, some paintings I made are hanging up around the place here. It wasn''t just a whim. I liked feeling connected to the place.¡±

    ¡°You make paintings?

    ¡°When I have time. But don''t worry, I''ll show you later.¡±

    Cade himself looked nervous now.

    ¡°But about that thing in the sky. You know what it is, right? Your people are working on it?¡±

    Mei made a resigned face.

    ¡°Here''s hoping.¡±

    Her expression shifted a little sadder.

    ¡°But no promises. I am, after all, only human.¡±

    He pointed at her.

    ¡°It''s okay. Even if you can''t, you''ve done enough already.¡±

    She looked back, her sulking face resting on her hand.

    ¡°I hear that a lot. Seems like a lot of people are worried that we have gone as far as we can go.¡±

    Cade suddenly looked nervous.

    ¡°I didn''t mean it like that. I...¡±

    He leaned over to Isaac.

    ¡°Help me out here.¡±

    Isaac looked around.

    ¡°I don''t even know what''s happening right now.¡±

    Mei sat back up straight.

    ¡°I''m joking. Don''t worry about it.¡±

    Cade hesitated, like he wasn''t sure he believed her, and put his arms up nervously.

    ¡°Okay.¡±

    He stood blankly for a few moments.

    ¡°Oh, right, food. You wanted food.¡±

    He held up his notebook and tapped it.

    ¡°So what did you want?¡±

    They all ordered bun bo hue: Thao because she hadn''t had it in a long time, Mei because she wasn''t willing to look uncultured in front of someone more familiar with the heritage, and Isaac because he didn''t want to feel left out. And they got banh mi to go with it. They made some small talk as they waited for the food, talking and laughing at various things such as recent movies. Eventually Cade brought out their food, and Isaac burned his mouth on it, not being prepared for the spice level. This led to Thao ribbing on him again, which Mei was glad to notice now had a more friendly and familiar tone and thus didn''t lead to any bad blood. She was surprised that someone so new could act familiar so quickly. But she supposed that loneliness could do that.

    But Mei felt a little sad about this. And felt like there was something she needed to talk about before this got any further. She looked at Thao with a serious expression.

    ¡°I want you to know something, though. What I said to Cade... wasn''t a joke. The mission we are heading towards is considered by many to be a suicide mission. There is a good chance that we won''t survive. And that if you come with us, you may not either. This isn''t to say I don''t think it is important. I do. More than anything. But it is a slim chance. A fool''s hope. If you come with us, you need to do so willingly, understanding the sacrifice you might be making.¡±

    Thao suddenly took on a more serious expression.

    ¡°I know. Huishen told me about this already. But I am no stranger to risk if there is someone who needs help. I have been following him for several years already.¡±

    ¡°Where we are going now won''t be like mopping up a few stray demons. We are going to the throne of the absolute one. And if push comes to shove, he will use everything he has to protect himself. The power of a force that spans the entire planet.¡±

    Thao made a serious expression.

    ¡°Don''t view me as naive. I''ve been dead once already. But I was given a second chance to live life the way I was meant to.¡°

    She looked up, determined.

    ¡°Even if I die, I will be satisfied. And I will know that we tried.¡±

    Thao started having flashbacks to her time on the egg.

    ¡°And I will be happy to know... that I didn''t die alone.¡±

    Mei looked at her with a somber expression. She felt a little sad. These feelings were familiar to her. But she knew that she herself had dark reasons for having them. And from what she understood, Thao did as well. But maybe this was the fate of all those who make sacrifices. It is often those who have less to lose who are more willing to. Something about it felt wrong. Heroism should not stem from low self-esteem. But it had worked for Mei thus far. A cobbled-together patchwork of unhealthy feelings that somehow took the shape of a useful person.

    She looked down. She wondered who she was to judge such a thing when she was no different herself. It already ate at her that Isaac followed her because she was the one who rescued him when he could have had a chance at a normal life otherwise. He often reassured her that it was his own choice. But what did it mean to make a choice? Your choices follow from the reality you are placed in. The world moves like clockwork and carries you along with it. On and on.

    She shook her head. There would be time to be miserable later. As the ancients say, you suffer more in imagination than reality. Maybe she would feel guilty at the end of all. But she didn''t really need to worry about that today. Today was meant to be a positive day. A day to make new friends. And she should remember to lean into that reality. Even if it meant putting on a mask. But even your feelings can become genuine if you emulate them long enough. Though awareness of this can leave you feeling like a hollow shell.

    She looked up and smiled.

    ¡°Well, I can''t say I trust that your motives aren''t influenced by survivor''s guilt. But I will trust that you know what you are doing. If we all die, don''t say I didn''t warn you.¡±

    Thao looked back.

    ¡°Well, if I try to complain, I''ll be too dead to. So it won''t go far. But don''t worry. I already made my choice long ago.¡±

    Mei picked up her drink.

    ¡°I suppose it''s my fault for bringing up something so negative. But we should focus on more positive things today. When you finish eating, I have something to show you that I think you might like.¡±

    Thao picked up her own drink, holding it out.

    ¡°Mot, hai, ba, do!¡±

    Mei and Isaac were temporarily stunned again, not being familiar with the phrase. They looked at each other for a moment, but then smiled, taking the meaning, and all clinked their glasses together.

    ¡°Mot, hai, ba, do!¡±

    <hr>

    After eating, Isaac trailed off somewhere, and Thao followed Mei into a corner sitting area. But they intended to spend the whole day here, so they would have plenty of time to catch up with him again later. The place they found was a bit out of the way. There were still occasionally people coming by, but they had enough empty space that you could set up stuff without worrying that there would not be room for whatever they were about to do.

    But what were they about to do?

    Thao wondered what exactly Mei wanted to show her. She didn''t want to come off overly excited, but she was often somewhat excitable. Sometimes to a fault. Often, in fact.

    Mei set down her bag and gestured at her.

    ¡°See, look what I have here.¡±

    Mei started taking things out of her bag, revealing various brushes and bottles, and finally a canvas and stand. Thao was watching intently, wondering what she was looking at at first, before catching on to what was being set up in front of her.

    ¡°Painting stuff? For what?¡±

    Mei sat down and smirked, closing one eye and pointed a paintbrush at her.

    ¡°For you. If you want, I can make a painting of you. To commemorate the occasion.¡±

    ¡°Of me?¡±

    Thao was quiet for a few moments, thinking about it. And you could visibly see gears turning in her head. She suddenly looked down and twitched, looking suddenly nervous and reeling back.

    ¡°Wait a minute, I am still naked! Do you mean like this?¡±

    ¡°I come here from time to time and paint a lot of people like this. It can be an uplifting activity if done with the right mentality.¡±

    Thao hesitated.

    ¡°Uplifting? What do you mean?¡±

    Mei leaned back.

    ¡°People''s self-esteem is often tied to their bodily identity. But people will often have self-doubt about this, especially in light of obsessive social beauty standards. And especially for people who worry that they lost something or struggle to use it to express themselves. But I''m sure I don''t have to tell you about that. Depicting an authentic, but idealized vision of their sense of self can do a lot for people''s self-esteem. Seeing their sense of self depicted untethered from these concerns can be healing.¡±

    Thao looked forward like she was thinking.

    ¡°Like, reflecting inner beauty expressed through their body?¡±

    ¡°Exactly. You told me that you have doubts about your appearance or how you would be seen, even if you know that most of these doubts are only in your head. I wanted to come here today to paint again anyways. But I realized that if you wanted it, there was something I could do for you.¡±

    She sat back and held up her arms.

    ¡°If you are uncomfortable with the idea, we don''t have to. But I wanted to offer the possibility. I can try to make you something that lets you know how other people see you. Ones who appreciate you for who you want to be. And then, if you are ever feeling doubts about yourself, you will have it to look at and be a source of strength.¡±

    Thao thought about it. She felt like Mei was right. She wanted to come to this place because she wanted to learn to feel better about her body. And to feel like others would accept it for how she wanted to present even if it told her past. She had already had a rush today already. But she was happy with what she discovered about herself. And although it seemed fast to commit to another thing so soon, she did see the logic of a memento of this feeling. She had been afraid of mirrors for a long time. It had felt painful to look in them even as a child. But there was more than one kind of mirror. And art can be a mirror to the soul.

    She sat down.

    ¡°I can''t say I''m not nervous about the idea, but... I think you are right. I think it would be good for me.¡±

    She puffed air into her cheeks and made a faux standoffish expression.

    ¡°I always kept my feelings bottled up. For most of my life. I have to admit it''s a little shocking that you can read me so clearly after only a few days of knowing me.¡±

    Mei laughed.

    ¡°Perception and pain. Perhaps kindred spirits can just naturally understand each other.¡±

    ¡°I don''t think I understand you in quite the same way, though.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps not. Maybe I''m just that smart.¡±

    ¡°Hey.¡±

    ¡°Sorry.¡±

    She turned at an angle. Mei had now set up her painting implements. Thao looked down at her lap, putting her hand over it.

    ¡°Do you think I should...¡±

    ¡°It''s up to you. No one can decide how you want to present for you.¡±

    ¡°How did you know what I was...¡±

    ¡°I always know what people are thinking. Consider it a professional skill. I couldn''t have gotten this far without it.¡±

    Thao smirked.

    ¡°Heh. Is that what makes you so empathetic?¡±

    Mei was suddenly stunned slightly. This is something she hadn''t really thought about. But in retrospect it seemed obvious now that it was pointed out. The world was a very different place when you could always sense the pain of those around you. Including those who you have no choice but to fight. But it was a mixed bag. Because when you have no choice but to fight, you can still sense the reality that sometimes the other side are only there as victims of circumstance.

    She looked down and smiled. Maybe this was the purpose of having more friends. Friends are mirrors to the soul. No matter who you are, there are always people who can point out new things about you. Ones that can be blind to you yourself based on the limits of your own experiences.

    She smiled.

    ¡°Maybe so. But it can be a curse at times.¡±

    ¡°It''s not to me. I appreciate that you can understand my feelings. Tian knows it''s not something that I am used to from my old family or community. I think... if I knew someone like you earlier on, maybe I would have come to understand myself earlier too. I can''t promise that I am as good at being understanding. But I will try to understand how you feel too. In case there is anything I can do.¡±

    Mei smiled.

    ¡°Thank you. There are few who can.¡±

    Thao thought for a few moments before tucking.

    ¡°Maybe some things are better kept on the down low.¡±

    Thao felt happy now. Not to say she didn''t see Huishen like family. But it wasn''t quite the same. For a long time she had not been especially close to anyone but him. And it felt good to find other people you felt like you could readily trust. It might take a little longer to warm up to Isaac. She had maybe gotten off on the wrong foot with him, but that seemed to be being mended already. And she felt that Isaac would find it physically impossible to have prolonged negative feelings about anyone Mei approved of.

    She sat there to allow Mei to paint her, talking and laughing during. When Mei finished the small painting and handed it over to her, she felt a positive feeling of gender euphoria stronger than she had ever known. She clutched the picture close, knowing even in that moment that it would become one of her prized possessions. And as time went on, it did. She valued the picture strongly for the rest of her life.

    <hr>

    Isaac and Thao were standing naked in the arcade playing a shooting game and talking. Mei had suggested she spend some time with Isaac alone in order to make sure there were no tensions. And said she had to go off to do something. She was listening to him describe his life story in order to familiarize herself with him better.

    ¡°And that is basically it. My parents took me and had my memories messed with from time to time. I did sense something was off. It felt a little dreamlike at times. But I couldn''t really place what it was that was awkward about my life. Coming out of it, I felt a lot more lucid. Like I was waking up from a long sleep.¡±

    Thao turned to him.

    ¡°Did you ever have moments where you sat to think about it? Whether things didn''t add up, I mean?¡±

    ¡°Sometimes. Though I think they had doctors make it so that this too was harder for me to notice. They also made sure I was always entertained, bread and circus style, so I didn''t have as much time to focus on it. Part of that may have been to make it so I didn''t want things to change. But I think they also just liked to show off. Even though I always had things to do, I didn''t spend that much time with them personally. They had caretakers to bring me anywhere I wanted. But I realized later on that they were also there to keep me from finding out things I wasn''t supposed to.

    ¡°It seems like I must have figured it out several times, and they would just erase my memory of doing so each time. So it was like a cyclical pattern that it wasn''t easy to break out of. I know how I talk about Mei must seem over the top to you. But it really felt like a messianic force in my life showing me a way out of the cycle. At a time when I felt powerless to find a solution on my own.

    ¡°She helped me get situated in life. I would have been okay after getting some stuff from my parents in court after everything. But after realizing that what she did for me she was also doing for other people, I wanted to be part of it. I had some knowledge of ether, since I spent a lot of time studying it, so it was easy for me to learn the more practical side.¡±

    Thao looked at him and thought over it.

    ¡°I didn''t realize how you ended up fighting together. I kind of just assumed you met somewhere. I can see why that would make a strong bond.¡±

    She looked down.

    ¡°That isn''t too different from my own story, I suppose. Although it is inverted. Both of us had parents who didn''t want us to grow into parts of the world they didn''t approve of. But yours wanted to keep you cut off from it so they could keep you to themselves. Whereas mine threw me out to get consumed on the outside and cut me off from them.¡±

    Isaac sighed.

    ¡°The truth is, on account of how she saved me, Mei didn''t want me to join her at first. Since it''s not uncommon for people to die doing this. I think she was always an aloof person. I remember seeing her once many years ago back when she was the same age as me, and she was already like that. But I think it''s not just that. She feels like it is hard to be close to anyone who engages in the great work, after seeing how they could be taken from you. I think when she first joined, she had lost some other people she was close to. And it made her grow even more aloof.

    ¡°I know she feels guilty that I am here sometimes. Because that puts me in danger that she thinks is on her for rescuing me. But... this is where I want to be. I know I might not look like it, since I look similar in age to you. But I am technically older even than she is.¡±

    He laughed to himself.

    ¡°Heh. Technically. But in truth, I don''t feel that way. Being like this, I still am inhibited by the time I spent being artificially de-aged. And I have health problems from it too. You can''t buy yourself immortality this way. So even if I survive, I will likely die at a bodily age that would likely seem a little young for my appearance.¡±

    He looked down, determined.

    ¡°But no. This is where I want to be. If she is going to die at the foot of the throne of heaven, we can die together. And I will make sure she stays alive long enough to get there. I am not keen on dying. But if I was left to my parents, I would have likely died from their adjustments already. I owe her my life. And well... the truth is, she needs someone like me. She isn''t good at taking care of herself. And I worry that if I wasn''t there, she wouldn''t remember to keep herself alive until the end.¡±

    He looked at Thao, and closed his eyes.

    ¡°I''m sorry for acting like you were an intruder. I thought of this as my purpose alone. And thought of these next few months as potentially our last time alive together. But... I guess that''s not it. If anyone else can help keep her safe until the end, I should show appreciation.¡±

    Thao held up her hand as a fist towards him.

    ¡°You can count on me! I won''t let anything happen to her.¡±

    He smiled and looked back.

    ¡°I am still learning too. I have always been more social than her. I know more people on the outside. But that is different. After losing my parents, she was the only one I ever considered family. Even the guys I dated, I was never that close with. Not that those lasted very long. But I think it''s true that this can be a bit lonely.

    ¡°It''s true, we spent some time with some other people from the techno-gnostics here and there. But not much ever came from it. But even I can feel that you are different. And I know enough to trust Mei when she makes a judgment call about someone. I suppose it just came as a shock to me, since I didn''t expect it.¡±

    He paused and then turned to hold up his free hand to her.

    ¡°But I know you are lonely too. So... welcome to the family. The next few months we will have a lot of time just preparing, or even just waiting. So I suppose we can spend some time together before the end of everything.¡±

    Thao grabbed his hand and smiled back at him.

    ¡°Thank you. I''ll try not to be a drag.¡±

    They both turned their gun controllers back at the screen.

    <hr>

    Mei walked up to the meditative spring, which was partially inside a dim golden room, and past a hallway filled with stained glass. The pool was stone around the outside, leading outdoors and having a grotto and waterfall, being designed to look like a natural occurrence. Though it obviously was not truly natural, due to the entire location being on city outskirts.

    While some may have considered a room like this to be a bit strange for the location, the whole grounds of the Midnight Sun plaza were, in the end, designed in part to host Weihong''s spiritual activities. The pool itself had an implied spiritual purpose described by the group''s teachings. And though some of those teachings were rather dangerous taken to the extreme, Mei did see value in their idea of the spiritual pool.

    She looked around the oasis. There were various people sitting in it in a meditative pose or relaxing and floating on the water with their head and chest sticking out. Some of these may still have been part of Weihong''s people. But true to the claim, none of them seemed to pay attention to or want to antagonize her at the moment.

    She took off her shoes and socks so she could step naked into the pool. Inside she sat on the far side next to a bovine statue with a goal of relaxing her mind and engaging in contemplation. She often meditated in this way when she felt more quiet. Though she also engaged in more active tantra when wanting to practice a more dynamic focus instead. Isaac didn''t really get the point of either practice. She had explained it to him before, but he never indulged in more than a token engagement in this type of thing.

    She breathed in and out, focusing on her breath. She did this for some time while thinking over meditative mantras. This often did help her feel better. And it did seem to be working today. The combination of the pool and the practice made her feel very relaxed. And rejuvenated for whatever would come next.

    She looked down at her own body, holding her arms up to examine them. There were a lot of scars on them. Even with modern medicine and technology, it was still not always easy to heal them fully. It would perhaps be possible to make them a little more invisible if one were so inclined. But she did not mind them. Seeing what she had been through helped her feel more like she was still alive. To remind her of the things that she had undergone to get to where she is. And to remember that she didn''t come this far to only come this far.

    She gradually looked to the side. Huishen too was sitting meditating in the pool close by. And this was in part why she had come here. She spoke up.

    ¡°I spoke to Thao. I wanted to make sure she knew what she was getting into. I was concerned about the idea that she felt like she had to do this out of guilt. But... I suppose that in the end there are no pure intentions.

    ¡°We talked a bit about her past. It''s not that different from mine or Isaac''s. I suppose kindred spirits are naturally drawn together. I also looked into her background using her name and information. Her old name, that is. It does seem like her birth parents labeled her as missing at some point. Legally in Ho Ton Tinh, she is now considered dead.

    ¡°But I realized something else from talking to her earlier. She doesn''t seem to know much about your past. And in fact, she doesn''t even seem to know that she doesn''t. When I looked into your name I couldn''t find anything. It seems like the name Dizang Huishen doesn''t exist anywhere. This means one of a few things. Either it is a fake name, or you erased your data in some way, or the data never existed in the first place.

    ¡°I suppose I could insist you tell me. But the truth is... I don''t feel a need to. Because I can sense your intentions. Not just to us. I know that Thao is being genuine. And I can sense your intentions to protect her as well.¡±

    She rubbed her face, and looked up.

    ¡°In fact, I''m not sure she could fail to be genuine even if she wanted to. Odd paradox for one whose skills involve deception.¡±

    She looked back over and made a soft smile with her eyes closed.

    ¡°But I''m not really going anywhere with this. Just wanted to make sure you knew you couldn''t pull a fast one on us. That''s all.¡±

    Huishen smiled back.

    ¡°Life is a long road. But you needn''t always recount every stop along the way.¡±

    He looked over.

    ¡°But you too carry some secrets, do you not?¡±

    Mei stared at him for a long while. But then turned her head back forward, closing her eyes once again.

    ¡°Yeah. I suppose I do.¡±

    She opened them, staring ahead.

    ¡°Just glad to know that we can understand each other.¡±

    They became quiet and sat like this relaxing for a long while. But all things must come to an end. Eventually they got back up to find Thao and Isaac.

 21: Inquisitor Mars

    Zhi Long felt small and nervous standing in the blue-tinted hallway in front of the Grand Inquisitor''s door. And he knew he wasn''t supposed to. Temple guards weren''t like ordinary soldiers. They were meant to be elites. Dedicated paragons of the law that would be willing to even lay down their lives if it came to it. But he was no longer sure he felt this way. Not anymore.

    Or perhaps he never did in the first place.

    In truth, he felt that he probably would have been passed over for becoming a temple guard at all if not for his older brother. His older brother had always looked out for him when they were young, even though he wasn''t supposed to. His brother had always been primed for greatness. Treated like the world was ahead of him. Zhi in contrast was overlooked. He had always felt small as a result. And as if in continuation of this, so was his life. It was only by virtue of his brother''s protection that he had gotten anything out of his family at all. The rest of them certainly never intended to offer it of their own accord.

    His brother became a temple guard. And quickly rose through the ranks on account of exceptional skill. Zhi too tried to follow in his footsteps. But he did not truly believe he would be capable of such a calling. His brother was fearless. And he was not. And he was becoming less so all the time. Because now his brother was dead. And he now understood firsthand what it was that being fearless brought you.

    When he heard this, he had hoped that he would be able to handle it. Temple guards were supposed to be resolute after all. But the pain had cut him down the middle. He felt like part of himself was now gone. An absence that he reached for but could not find. And in its place was an empty hollow. A crushing emptiness within which he could feel nothing.

    And here he was. A place he only wanted to be because of his brother. A place he was likely only allowed to enter as a gift to his brother. But now he was alone. No longer sure what his purpose here was supposed to be. Unsure how much he cared to continue. But what else was there to do? He didn''t want to die. He wanted his brother back. But this is not something he could get. Not something he could ever get. Pine as he might, he would never have that chance again.

    He was startled as the intercom spoke back to him with a commanding voice.

    ¡°Come in.¡±

    Zhi hesitated. But he opened the door and walked into the long office. He looked to the side as he walked down the overly long pathway to get to the Inquisitor''s desk. The room was large and intimidating, fitting for the Grand Inquisitor of the Temple Guards. Ostentatious as well. Though that might be more for the sake of additional intimidation. He arrived in front of the desk and saluted while the Inquisitor looked on with a stern glare, his eyes piercing through him. The inquisitor''s two personal attendants were there as well, standing silently to the side, showing no awareness of Zhi''s presence in the room.

    Inquisitor Mars was an intimidating presence, even among the Temple Guards, with fierce charisma and a commanding height, standing tall over the head of most others. He had white armor, with a cape and long, sharp epaulettes. And he was not in his position for any nepotistic purpose like Zhi himself was. He was a master of both interpersonal combat and military tactics, with many years of proven skill behind him. In a large sense, he had become like the arm of the Chun Tzu Ministry. And by extension, the arm of the temple itself.

    Mars looked up at him, speaking politely but in a tone that, on account of what it obscured, was somehow more intimidating than if he had been more cold. His voice was both suave, but commanding.

    ¡°Aah. Zhi. I trust you have something valuable to report.¡±

    Mars looked up, and at an angle, like he was suddenly thinking. He waved his arm.

    ¡°But no concern if you do not. I''ve just gotten back from a meeting with chairman Beev, so I can get away with not delivering anything new to them for awhile. The preparations seem to be coming along in due order, so the old men of the council are happy with their new toys for now.¡±

    Zhi stood up straight. He did have information to deliver after all. Though he was slightly reassured by this claim to a lack of urgency.

    ¡°We attempted to look into the one who seemed to be in charge of the portal to the sea of possibility. However, there was some unexpected difficulty. Eyewitness reports say that he was wearing a white coat. But he didn''t show up on any of our recordings. From our info, we believe that his coat likely contained something to blot out cameras when it shows up on them. We spent considerable time looking through everything, but on account of this, we have no direct video of him.

    ¡°This is uncommon, of course. Initially we believed that it might have been from malfunctioning equipment. But when we compared the video feed of all the different cameras, this was an overlapping discovery. Whoever designed this must be fairly skilled. So it''s possible that it may be the wearer himself. He was said to have a heavy hand in the escape, almost singlehandedly holding us back to make way for the surviving soldiers to get out. Though they may have known we didn''t intend to follow them, and would see taking the portal as more important.

    ¡°We did potentially figure out one thing about him, however. From examining what was left behind in the building, we began to put together a profile on his movements and size. From these, it is believed he might be rather young. Or short at any rate. And there are a few other things we discovered that are in this file we prepared for you. We are trying to narrow down who among the population he might be, but as he is likely someone important to them, they have no doubt expended significant effort to cover his tracks.¡±

    Mars listened to this without much enthusiasm. It''s true that this contained some new information, but not enough to be useful considering the amount of time they had spent to collect it. But he knew that based on the importance of that mission for the techno-gnostics, that it would have involved some of the elites of the elite. And so putting information together that they chose to obscure might not be so easy.

    His cheek still resting on his hand, Inquisitor Mars spoke back pointedly.

    ¡°The one in charge of the portals is no doubt important. So go ahead and continue on with this. But in truth, I believe that he is not the most important one to look into. Moderating a portal could in theory be done by anyone. To be sure, this is not like other portals. This is one that only an expert could create the coordinates for. But I think you need to look deeper. The ones we are likely to need information on are those who went within the portal itself.¡±The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

    He leaned back to stroke his face.

    ¡°If I know techno-gnostics, they wouldn''t use swarm tactics for something like this. They would only entrust it to people they place extra trust in. So it interests me. Who did they send within, to the other side? I don''t believe they would risk something like this at all if it wasn''t someone exceptional. Tell me, have you discovered anything about the ones who went below?¡±

    Zhi hesitated and looked down.

    ¡°Of course, none of the soldiers who went into the portal returned. They didn''t manage to send back much data due to not having time to calibrate. But today we did finally manage to restore a distorted signal. It seems like they were under attack by something. But it''s not clear what it was. It didn''t seem to be a techno-gnostic weapon.¡±

    Mars looked genuinely curious for the first time.

    ¡°An unknown enemy? Was there any description?¡±

    ¡°It doesn''t show up on video. But the one speaking described it like it had long black tendrils. Almost like tentacles. They seemed to be having difficulty fighting it. In the end, it seemed it wiped out most of the surviving soldiers who made it through the portal. The information we deciphered today is also in the report.¡±

    Mars closed his eyes and looked somber.

    ¡°It seems there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in our philosophy. But I suppose this may have made problems for the ones sent through by our enemy as well. And I wonder still. Did any of them manage to get out?¡±

    Mars sighed after speaking. Zhi shook slightly in fear, hoping that he would not become the focus of Ire for a substandard report. And though Mars had a reputation of never acting angry in person, he ran a fairly ruthless ship. Things that were deemed inefficient would be lucky if their only punishment was demotion.

    Mars closed his eyes and began speaking again. Zhi felt like Mars was not really speaking to him. More so ruminating out loud, and needing someone to take it out on.

    ¡°We must be vigilant in these coming months as well. The techno-gnostics will be preparing for what is coming. And they will try to make a definitive move against us in order to get the upper hand.¡±

    Zhi looked down, becoming quiet again. He was still afraid of Mars. But there was also something he wanted to get off his chest. And at this point he was willing to roll the dice.

    ¡°My... older brother, Chen, was on the mission. They tell me he was one of the ones who offered to go into the portal. And none of those who went in returned.¡±

    Mars looked up. He realized now what type of conversation this was going to be. So he thought he best take hold of it now to avoid any further complications. Zhi went on.

    ¡°Ahh, Chen Long. His team accomplished something that none other has been able to in hundreds of years. They will go down in history as heroes. Though despite this, it is always a loss when people don''t come back from operations.¡±

    He stared into Zhi with piercing eyes.

    ¡°You are... grieving his loss?¡±

    Zhi looked to the side, unable to meet his gaze.

    ¡°It¡¯s not that. I mean, I am. Who wouldn''t be? But...¡±

    He struggled to find his words. He knew he had to choose them carefully, or he might be in danger.

    ¡°I feel like the ministry is sacrificing too many of the faithful. I know that this isn''t an easy task. The faithful become temple guards knowing that it will be a position of extreme danger. And it is not a position one takes if they aren''t willing to make that necessary sacrifice. But of late there have been a lot of deaths. More than usual.¡±

    Mars cocked his head back slightly to the side, scrutinizing him deeply.

    ¡°Do you believe that we may run low on soldiers and be at risk for being overtaken?¡±

    ¡°No, it''s not that, it''s...¡±

    Zhi hesitated again. Mars paused for a moment and then began speaking in the gap in a convincing tone.

    ¡°This is a special time. The ministry seeks to bring forth a new age, and they believe it will finally fulfill the law. A lot of things will likely undergo upheaval in this time. But rest assured, they don''t intend to lose too many people needlessly. Because in this new age they seek to expand their dominance. To become the unquestioned power of the globe that none might stand up against any longer. And they would need a lot of people to uphold this new world, even with their new toys.¡±

    Zhi thought over how this was worded. Something about the tone Mars was using emboldened his next question.

    ¡°But... what do you believe?¡±

    Mars smirked slightly at Zhi''s bravery.

    ¡°It matters not to me. I am a pragmatist. I have my own station to operate. And whether they succeed or fail at their new projects, I still have my own duties to attend to.¡±

    Zhi thought about this. It seemed like an evasive answer. But he was afraid to press out of fear of being branded for heresy. Mars went on.

    ¡°All these big projects, these desires for expansion. They have a lot of ambition. But sometimes one can reach too far. And even the gods have to fear getting their hands bitten when they overreach.¡±

    He leaned backwards in his chair.

    ¡°But you no doubt feel the same. Chen was an extraordinary soldier. He had a list of accomplishments few could hope to match. But it is one thing to dedicate yourself for a larger purpose alongside your family. You might feel different when forced to face firsthand that all are mortal. That no matter how high you climb, the enemy can still reach to the heavens and cut you down.¡±

    He stared even deeper into Zhi, with piercing eyes.

    ¡°You too have a distinguished history of service. This is not common, but if you believe you can no longer handle being a temple guard, I can release you. Of course, you have state secrets that can''t be allowed in outside hands. So if you choose this, we would have to erase these memories from your mind.¡±

    Zhi was jolted with a sudden strike of fear from this offer. It was not so easy to get out of the Temple Guards once you were in. This was not the same as the state military or local exorcists. It was an elite force that expected full dedication and zealotry. He felt for a moment that this was some kind of trick. And that agreeing would mean execution.

    But he thought back over it. The truth is, in the last few years, there had been a few people who were released. This was before now relatively uncommon. And it made him wonder what the reasoning for it might be. If several people were released from service, the reasoning must have been to try to get rid of them for some reason. It might be over concerns about their loyalty, but he considered that this was not likely. Because being found to not be loyal when in such a position would be more likely to result in a quick death. Or at the very least an indefinite detainment.

    But there was another option. Those who were gotten rid of must have found out something. Something the Chun Tzu Ministry didn''t want them to know. And so they were dismissed, and their memories of it pulled. This was not an impossibility. Temple guards are desired for their loyalty. But even the loyal were not privy to many of the top-level secrets. But what could it be that was discovered that caused them such concern and a fearful need to purge even some of the devout? Did he himself know it, whatever it was?

    Zhi was perturbed. If there was something he wasn''t supposed to know, what was it? Was it related to the mission his brother had died on? If so, could he even be sure his brother died in the way they had told him? He looked back at Inquisitor Mars with a blank expression. He hoped that these feelings would not shine through to him. Fortunately, even in modern day it was no easy task to decipher one''s inner thoughts. Though this brought him little comfort. Because Mars was also deeply perceptive. And he feared that if he had doubts in his presence, that Mars would know.

    Mars spoke again.

    ¡°Or... there is another option you can take. If you wish to see the truth of the world for yourself, if you wish to be at the forefront of the new age, then come with me. And I will show you what lies beyond the veil.¡±

    Mars stood up. Zhi looked up sheepishly, feeling small, for Mars towered over him glaring down with red eyes sticking out from under his his neat brown hair. And Zhi was unsure what to think of his words.

    ¡°Follow me. Before you make your decision, there is something I would like to show you.¡±

 22: Agartha

    Captain Jack disembarked off of the plane jetway. In better circumstances, he would not have minded taking a visit to Agartha or to take a chance to see the old acquaintances from there. But an ominous air hung over his current task. There was a problem here, and it wasn''t one that they could afford to have at the current moment. If needs be, more people could follow him to address said task, but people were not something they could spare. So for now, he came alone to get a lay of the situation.

    Transporting gnostics from country to country in any large number was often difficult, especially if they were countries the temple had a large amount of power in. Public airports would be on the lookout if too many people with known associations were moved in a close proximity. But at the same time, private planes or other transport would be given no less scrutiny. Weapons were also a problem, which is why they tended to try to have weapons already there on the other side.

    However, no scrutiny would be placed on him today. Because this mission had nothing to do with the temple. And it was this that worried him. Even if the temple knew what he was up to, they would probably feign ignorance. Because if he did end up bringing more Gnostics here, it might only be to the temple''s own benefit by getting more of them out of their own hair. Hence is the problem with fighting a war on multiple fronts. Even minor threats can become a serious problem if they cause your resources to grow more thin.

    He looked through the windows at the city as he disembarked. The airport was not within the city itself but looked over a lake at it and provided a striking sight as the sun created a red glare across the black sky as it slowly passed under the horizon. The city itself was once again built up from the state it had been left in after the late hostilities. But the air of resignation was still palpable in its presence. Jack had not been here for several years, but the resigned air pervaded it still. And it would likely do so for some time. For after all, Fusang''s arms stretched far across the globe, and its reach was relentless. And with the tear in the sky bearing down on them now across the globe, everyone felt its glare even further.

    From across the arrival gate, a figure started walking over to Jack. He knew he was expected and that it was unlikely that anyone else was there to antagonize him today., but he still tensed up slightly for the possibility that someone unexpected might intercept him. Which in this line of work was always something you had to be on edge for.

    But as he got closer, Jack recognized his face. Dropping his tension, he walked over to him, waving as he did. ¡°Hello, inspector.¡±

    The gnostic inspector waved back. ¡°Hello yourself,¡± he said. ¡°It''s been awhile.¡±

    Jack made a blank face back as he responded. The inspector wondered if it was meant to be a smile because it looked like it might pass for one by the standards of one who doesn''t actually do them. ¡°It has. Though it would have perhaps been better if we could have met again under better circumstances.¡±

    ¡°Well, at least we know the temple won''t be likely to antagonize us today. Though that is likely little comfort, considering the situation.¡±

    The inspector thought for a moment.

    ¡°Did you have a good flight? Do you need anything to drink?¡±

    ¡°I could use a coffee. It was a long flight, but I ate on board.¡±

    The inspector gestured with his hand. ¡°Well, there is a place right over here on the landing. We could stop there before dropping you off at your hotel. It''s getting late, so they won''t expect you to meet with anyone else tonight.¡±

    Jack breathed on his cold hands to warm them up. ¡°That would be good.¡±

    They strolled over to the coffee shop and got coffees. The inspector got a black coffee and then turned around shocked to see Jack with a fancy drink, despite his reputation and gruff demeanor. Jack, seeing the inspector''s face, got a little insecure, feeling he needed to defend himself. ¡°What? I know how to have fun.¡± Both of them looked away after this, feeling a little awkward for a moment before sitting down.

    They made a bit of small talk and catching up, as they had not seen each other in some time. They were not super close, being from different countries, but they had seen each other from time to time in the course of the business, as the techno-gnostics had small cells in many places across the globe who often sent people back and forth as needed. And as an extension, they also had a bit of familiarity with a lot of the same individuals, especially Tsubasa from HQ, who often traveled between the cells.

    But they did not want to spend long on trivialities. So getting down to business, the inspector took out a scattered photo to show to Jack.

    ¡°This is the person. Not visually a man or woman. They go by the name Adi. They have been on our radar for some time and operate out of Agartha. Before now their group had not seemed to be overly large. We don''t know how, but their group has exploded in activity and membership in the weeks since the Vimerkanah has become active. And it seems likely that they are acting in response to it. So we can safely say that they are planning something. Though we don''t yet have enough information to say what.¡±

    Jack picked up the photo. The person in it did not come off as overly noteworthy, although they had black hair and were wearing a black stole. He winced. ¡°We have to admit we weren''t prepared for this. It was already going to be a long shot going against the temple. But we can''t fight a war on multiple fronts.¡± He lit a cigarette. ¡°We are going to have to hope they spend a lot of time targeting each other. Because if we get caught in the middle, it''s not going to be easy. Especially if they get involved in the final assault.¡±

    Jack blew out some smoke. ¡°I dunno if they told you this, but some smaller occult groups, even in Fusang, have become more active in the last few weeks. We expected some of this, of course. But we hoped that pushing the temple into action faster would make it happen on our time frame. Some smaller groups don''t have long-term plans and are just jumping at opportunity. But it''s unfortunate to see that there is more to it than this.¡±

    The inspector leaned on his arm. ¡°Well, that''s why we are here. I was a detective in a former life, before becoming a gnostic. But I don''t have a lot of experience dealing with these groups. So I asked for someone who has a lot of firsthand experience.¡±

    Jack looked back. ¡°Make no mistake, I am glad to be here. If another problem is brewing for us, there''s nowhere more important to be. There are other people who can handle things at home for now.¡± He shrugged. ¡°Maybe not indefinitely. But for the moment.¡±

    The inspector took a drink from his cup. ¡°Anyways, our intel is still rather small at the moment. Although a lot of their activity seems to be here in Agartha, their group was found to have a lot of cells becoming active in different places. They are secretive, so it is hard to get good intel. If we had the time, we would probably be able to infiltrate their group to see what they are up to. But unfortunately at the moment time is against us.

    ¡°The temple has a smaller presence here than in some countries, although that presence has grown larger as of late. But we know they have had a lot of run-ins with it in other places. We have had a few skirmishes with them also, though we are trying to keep away from entering a full-blown war. We need to try to investigate them without it coming to violence. Because we can''t afford to lose any more people before the final assaults.¡±

    He took out a file from his pack and slid it over to Jack. ¡°This contains most of the information you will need to be briefed on. They would like if you looked through it before tomorrow when I come to pick you up. Tomorrow we will have to meet with a few people, so we won''t get to investigating until later tomorrow, if at all. Investigation may have to be put off until the day after tomorrow.¡±

    Jack took the folder and glanced through it to make a mental note of how much reading he would have to do later. This was not with a tone of resignation, for Jack was very workaholic by nature. Part of why him and Mei did not tend to get along outside the context of working together. But Jack was also honest. He knew not to let his personal opinions influence his understanding of her importance.

    He didn''t want to ask the inspector a lot of redundant questions that would be included in the file, however. So he figured he should pivot to information that would be useful to have, but which the file would not be likely to cover.

    The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    He took another puff of his cigarette. ¡°Tell me some more about the temple''s presence in YYYY. I have some passing familiarity with it, but I''ve only been here once before, as you know.¡±

    The inspector sighed. ¡°Well, before the war the temple did have a presence here, but it was not very large. Most people did not have a strong affiliation with it. The truth is, they still aren''t as big here as a lot of places. Which we could say is lucky, except that it means we will likely have to handle this new problem ourselves.

    ¡°I was a detective at the time when Agartha was attacked. You''ve probably heard the pretense.¡± He shook his head. ¡°But no. It was just imperialistic action. Fusang invaded and seized a lot of land around the border. When they did, the temple was right there to decry the violence. But it was just a ploy for more influence. Fusang backed off, allegedly at their behest. But ultimately their influence grew.

    ¡°And it wasn''t even temple guards invading. It was normal Fusang soldiers. Elites from the temple don''t like to get their hands dirty with things like this. They pretend to be above politics, so they don''t do their own dirty work. But it''s not very convincing from the angle of those getting plowed over, just because a temple missionary comes to speak out against what happened.¡±

    He shrugged. ¡°Hell, maybe some of the missionaries really are against it. People who aren''t in the know can be useful to do their dirty work for them, since they will be fully convinced of the activities they engage in. Since that time, the temple had become an intermediary allegedly to broker peace. And in the process, set up a lot of facilities here. Not enough to have major influence. But their influence is growing.

    ¡°A lot of the infrastructure was damaged around that time. In major cities like this, it has been built up again by now. But there are a lot of areas of the country which have been left in virtual ruins. Hence why so many of them are willing to accept help from the temple. It gives them an opportunity to take advantage of the people who are left there and to force reliance on themselves.

    He hesitated for a long period before speaking again. Jack almost thought he finished before he went on again. ¡°And another thing that happened around that time is... I lost my partner. We had not been detectives for very long at the time. And we had planned on being detectives together for a long time. A dream from another life, you could say. That was the motivation that caused me to look deeper and led me to join the gnostics. I have a... personal errand, you can say.¡±

    He turned to Jack and took another sip from his mug. ¡°Here is hoping I live to see it through, eh?¡±

    Jack was not used to following up on personal comments like this. Not if the one giving them was considered trustworthy, that is. It was a different story if it was someone you needed to make sure wouldn''t be a liability. But he was in the inspector''s own territory and had been made to understand that he was top of the line.

    Jack looked up. ¡°Well, their slow encroachment won''t be a problem for you for much longer. With the Vimerkanah active, it is now or never. If we fail now, their encroachment is going to be a lot faster than it would have been before.

    ¡°In the same vein, though, this means they likely don''t want to waste people sending them here now. So we will probably be decently unimpeded by them if we are investigating someone else. When I booked my flight here, I sensed a lower than usual degree of scrutiny on plane trips outwards. Though there may be more for return flights.

    ¡°That aside, if this new group starts to be a major problem, they may switch gears. We don''t know yet the degree to which the temple predicted this either. They may be just as much in the dark as we are. But for the time being, if we need to, we can get more people over here fairly easily if nothing changes before then. If you don''t have enough to spare, that is.¡±

    The inspector looked at him. ¡°People, eh?¡± He took a drink. ¡±Tell me about this star you have over there. What is so special about her?¡±

    Jack tried not to show any feeling when looking back. ¡°How do you know about that? That is supposed to be top secret.¡±

    The investigator held up his hands in guilt. ¡°It is. But they don''t call me a master detective for nothing. I have a way of reading between the lines. Which is, after all, why you are here meeting me for this.¡±

    Jack looked back into his cup. He had no reason to be suspicious. And at any rate, it would likely help to share information. So he made a quick judgment call to respond. ¡°Well, there is not much to say. Ordinarily we are vastly outclassed by the top-level temple guards. And it can take several people to put one down. But we found someone who can move like they move. Our entire plans being pushed forward onto the timescale they are is predicated on them having found her. Because there are certain things that wouldn''t be able to be done by anyone else.

    ¡°She was the one who went into the sea of possibility. Before they found her, they were uncertain how to have someone successfully navigate it even if they found a pathway. When the temple chased us in, it seems like they literally just threw in a ton of people in the hopes a handful of them would survive. We allowed the temple to believe that they killed our people and reached the compass themselves. As far as we know, they don''t know our current plans. And they don''t know about her existence either. At least not her significance. It is a well-kept secret.¡±

    He took another puff on his cigarette. ¡°At least, it¡¯s supposed to be a well-kept secret. It''s difficult to keep a lid on information. We have had at least one leak. And we are still looking into it. It doesn''t seem like the temple knows. But somebody does. She was accosted by someone recently who understood her significance. And we have no knowledge yet of who it is or who they are affiliated with. Which, although we didn''t tell you this yet, is another reason it is so important to keep tabs on this cult. If they are the ones who got this information, then it risks the temple finding out our plans if they end up at odds and capture them.¡±

    The investigator took a sip. ¡°Heh. I take it that that is why she isn''t here then. Is she too important to leave Fusang?¡±

    Jack responded. ¡°Basically yes. They want her close by in case anything happens. Though if we really do need backup, they will send her.¡±

    The investigator responded. ¡°Damn. Looks like we are doing this on a budget then. Guess I can settle for the discount helpers. But don''t worry, I am good at getting a lot done on a budget.¡±

    Jack donned a blank (or rather, blank-er) face and began to stare listlessly into his drink. He waited a long time before speaking again. ¡°That is what it is about after all. I am replaceable. She is not.¡±

    The Inquisitor suddenly looked a little embarrassed, as he did not realize he was pushing on sore buttons. He too became quiet and looked ahead for a period. They waited like this for a long time, with no sound around them except for that of the news channel blaring on the TV in the corner and the far-off sounds of the city. After a pause, he looked over. ¡°It seems like there is some bad blood there. What is that about? If you don''t mind telling me.¡±

    Jack stayed cold, realizing that he had conveyed more than he intended. He thought his tone would convey a form of dry humor, but he realized after speaking that it would not be so easy to trick the investigator. He didn''t want to speak, as this was something he had never talked about with anyone before. But if he was going to be working one-on-one, maybe it was best to be more open.

    ¡°From when I was young, I always sought to be industrious. But I didn''t want to just work for the sake of work. I wanted to dedicate myself to something bigger. Something meaningful. I felt a strong sense of duty. Initially, at that age, I thought that that might involve working with the temple. But when I came to understand their corruption, I found my way to the techno-gnostics. And when I came to understand the Great Work, I wanted to make myself indispensable to it. I trained in combat. I trained in leadership. I tried to become everything they needed. Because I understood that they needed some individuals with unique skills. And I thought it could be me. For a while, it seemed like it would be. I rose in both skill and ranks at a rate that seemed exceptional. But there are hard limits to what one can do.

    ¡°When she first joined the techno-gnostics, I did not find her particularly noteworthy. I don''t think anyone did. She was often unkempt. And while she was not unimpressive with weapons and was fairly sharp, this did not stand out much at the time. But over time, she got better. And one day, everything changed. It hit me all at once that she was already on my level, despite much less time spent training. I redoubled my efforts, but it didn''t matter. And for a final brief moment, I was her equal before she surpassed me. And I knew even in that moment that I would never be on her level again. I could train a thousand lifetimes, and it would make no difference. It wasn''t just combat either. She was also good with tactics. And perceptive on a level that was at times unsettling. A veritable Yonaoshi goddess who I would now and forevermore be in the shadow of.¡±

    Jack blew out smoke. ¡°And you know what the worst part is? She doesn''t even care. She never wanted the role she found herself in. She didn''t dedicate her life to training to get it. She doesn''t even talk like she is happy to be their savior. She was just born with better aptitude. I can''t do anything but accept it.¡±

    Jack felt a little upset at how much he realized he was sharing relating to his own weakness. Because these weren''t things he wanted anyone else to know. ¡°And the thing is, she almost certainly knows how I feel. I try to keep it to myself, but... I don''t think she particularly likes me either. There has been bad blood there since before she was even their hero.¡±

    The investigator had been quiet for a time, but hearing this he spoke again in an inquiring tone. ¡°And what would that bad blood be about?¡±

    Jack winced. ¡°Well, back when I was still ranked above her, I chided her once for looking unkempt and having messy hair. And I don''t think she ever forgave me.¡±

    On hearing this, the investigator stared with a blank expression for a moment, blinking a few times. But then burst out laughing. Jack''s face became flushed as the investigator began speaking. ¡°Oh boy. You should know better than to insult the appearance of a woman who is going to end up having power over you.¡±

    Jack responded back. ¡°Well, I didn''t...¡± He sighed. ¡°She still acts like she doesn''t care about being tidy. But no one would dare scrutinize her about it now.¡±

    ¡°Maybe that is for the best. You have more important things to care about than appearance after all.¡±

    ¡°I still think it matters. You should keep all your ducks in a row. And nobody has any clue where any of her ducks are.¡±

    ¡°Well, maybe that''s why you''re not the one in charge anymore.¡±

    Jack thought about it. ¡°Maybe so. I do still have some work to do to come to terms with my own limitations. Maybe I have been going about some things wrong.¡±

    ¡°Well, I hope you don''t go about them too wrong. Because we still have a lot of work ahead of us.¡±

    Jack looked over, pausing for a moment to think before speaking. ¡°You are right. And I know. It is selfish of me to be bitter. And I should try to be better too. I know that without her we wouldn''t be able to attempt any of this. And she doesn''t even act superior about it. She just acts like she wants to make sure that everyone is uplifted. I don''t think my intentions were wrong. But my motives were misguided. I was thinking too much about myself. And that was clouding my judgment.¡±

    He finished the rest of his cup and turned to the investigator, smiling for real now. ¡°I guess it is stupid of me to worry my role isn''t important when we have a lot of important work ahead of us too. So let''s see if we can''t stop these cultists before they become a bigger problem.¡±

    ¡°That''s the spirit.¡±

    They both got up and walked out to the investigator''s car. As they did, Jack looked up, and the dream spectre flitted out of view. They talked a bit more during the ride about various topics related to current events. And Jack felt a bit uplifted now that he had vocalized these thoughts for the first time.

    They pulled up to the motel, and the investigator pointed it out to him. ¡°Well, here we are. I will come pick you up tomorrow. Don''t worry, your secret feelings are safe with me. It will be a pleasure working together, Captain Jack Byun.¡±

    Jack got out of the car, picking up his luggage to take it with him. He turned back to wave in the open car door. ¡°Likewise. Good night, Investigator Samuel Heart. I will see you tomorrow.¡±