《you bury me.》 I died. Chapter-1 I died. ¡°An evening, I wish I died, One evening, I was so happy I cried. An evening, she saw me and I thrived.¡± It¡¯s the moon and I shining tonight 1st of January and I have skipped school too much under pretext of being sick while I was actively hitting my soccer matches and having the best time of this life maybe. Come on, I am a teenager enough I can vote very soon. Like every other teenager, I wished to die every single day. Until someone killed me by befriending me. We have been friends since she transferred here. Maybe I loved her since, or maybe I did just that now I am closer to being a man. I cannot stop this flutter in my heart any more. I never tried. 9th March 2003, this is our second last year and school. Being in a private trusted school we had a bunch of transferred students every year for just having the name of this stupid intuition over their report cards just so any college will take them. Plausible of them but she came here because she just did. I called it faith of fate. She came, she came straight to my heart. On March 4th, she came and introduced herself in front. Her aura made it clear who she was and I could only say out ¡°I am smitten.¡± And that¡¯s what I said when she asked for my name. I almost cried to myself in the restroom that day. However, that day; I stopped wanting myself dying. This time ¡®She was killing but she was keeping me from dying¡¯, the way I felt Mahmoud Darwish that day. Out of 40 people, she chose me to sit with because I reminded her of cupcakes. She was an idiot and she knew it. What more she made out was I was stupid myself and a stupid needed an idiot. That¡¯s all she said on the 4th of March until it was recess. She doesn¡¯t talk more than 100 words when she hasn¡¯t eaten either she¡¯s just mean. I asked her ¡°What could help?¡± and she shyly replied ¡°Fried chicken.¡± My allowance was not more than $5 for a day and she wanted to spend that all. Not like she didn¡¯t have any but it needed $8 for a boneless chicken bucket and $2 for drinks. She planned a date all by herself for herself with a stranger for $4 and a muffin guy company. My mouth hung 4feets down when I opposed her, ¡°How came you do this without a thought? What sort of democracy is that? Where is my right?¡± A subtle line of response and we don¡¯t mess about fried chicken partner billing. She said without a twitch of fun muscle on her face, ¡°You stupid you love it too.¡± I haven¡¯t fought for food since 2003. My mother loved her. My mother loves her, and my dad too. Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more. That¡¯s how we became inseparable, she would sit with me, help me with homework, and make me see the world through a rough lens of hope. She was always learning and learning even if it wasn¡¯t to ask anywhere and when I asked her about it, her answer was always the same, ¡°Someday I will have a cute child who will ask me everything. Why water is blue, and why the sun is shy of the moon? When does the market sleep? Why acid is sour? And even If I don¡¯t know the answer; I will have something for them to know.¡± With this said with a faint smile, her eyes scintillated brightest. There, I knew I loved her. I loved her from the assembly of school to the breaks of university classes. I grew fond of her within a month, she was just a girl. A simple, human, kind, girl. For everyone else. She was my fate. I knew it. We used to play games and she would cheer for me. We had lazy Sundays and ¡°Be alone with me Mondays¡±. We spent the best time with each other and the worse we couldn¡¯t go without each other. She never held my hand in times of good but in the bad, she never had let it go. I owe something in me to her. She grew it in me herself. A new life was breathed into me. I was someone old with a whole new mind. I saw a different life through me. A life and new light. I was falling in love; alone. She loved me differently. She loved me in a way, I didn¡¯t understand well. I loved her in a way; that I didn¡¯t understand. It took us time to love. It was a love grown differently. In a war of emotions and feelings, we fell into each other. This time just right, just how it should have been. Just how it was fated to be. We are destined to the love we are meant for. Somehow after the roads of hills and ocean of tears. Our love strolled in alley of our heart. A love so sickly sweet, I always had her name with sweetness in my smile. I was very, very, very fond of her. An idiot, a smiling fool, a fool for her. My heart became the softest where she was. Her steps on my heart left a trail of flowers. I couldn¡¯t bear myself without her. The thought of being without her fright me. This is what I became. Then, I became a dreamer. I dreamt of us living together and going all good by. We passed high school with flying colors and a bundle of memories. Some people were left behind and somewhere we left them too. I was 19, still felt as if it was the day of summer 2003 and I was 17. I was officially an adult and still had that toothy grin when she said, ¡°Chicken is on me, go get the drinks. My professor is being suspiciously nice. Hmm, the exam is going to be tough, idiot.¡± She cleared them with a good score. ¡°Hmm, I know. He was boasting about how his wife¡¯s rage bolted his brain into brainstorming problems.¡± The evening was quite light until she asked me about it. ¡°When are you going to tell Dad about it?¡± I froze in my soul. I hadn¡¯t given it a thought. ¡°I still have to give it a thought. It could be a rush of adrenaline. I want to be sure first then think through.¡± I lied; I knew I wanted it. I was sure of myself and I was sure of a coward. I was a coward for 1 and ? years then this desire started suffocating me. I couldn¡¯t bear the idea of disregarding my ideals. I did what I felt and I didn¡¯t feel it, it was simmering in me, slow and slower. I wanted the next thing; I wished it to be a relief but my desire for this dream denied to die because I was fueling it with my soul. The coward became brave with a face. I was my father¡¯s son and he had to know it. She saw me. Chapter-2 She saw me. At a distance, she was calling out my name, she¡¯s a morning person always up at dawn then when I always asked her about it, and had the same answer, ¡°None of hypocrite is awake at dawn. Trust me it¡¯s so much fresh without them breathing around.¡± She¡¯s up at dawn down and how I got to know about it was interesting enough for me to giggle every once in a while. She said it right I am an idiot. A fool. Fool for her. Our new neighbors shifted into the house opposite to street some days ago, they happened to be my mother¡¯s classmates from high school. A perfect picture family, and in reality they were nicer than that. They moved in here due to some unfortunate circumstances and we never asked about it again. Their eyes turn tearful just being asked about the matter. We realize it¡¯s not our shoes to put on. It was an adorable family of three, the mother, the father, and a princess of a daughter, Nera. She was always up at dawn. And how do I know, interestingly enough of matter. One day, my brain was storming high enough to keep me up at night. The whole night I was thinking about changing the world or settling somewhere deep into the forest and celibate for this life. A need for money kept me up, for a long run. The son of a CEO and a spoiled brat, I was famous for this nickname which came with being born into the family of company owners yet my parents never allowed me to recklessly waste any bucks of them. They said, ¡°Cielo, if you feel like you have extra money; donate it. It will come back in double next time and you can have more to yourself and help more people. This money can give you elation like caprice, you will feel full then next time the prize will go high. Chose wise, Cielo.¡± I never took that money for some stupid fun and I never felt the need to. I read a few days back that the suicide hotlines pay $10 for just being there for someone and talking me through the thought of killing themselves so if I call myself on suicide helpline through all the phones of the house I will be paid equally. I was helping myself by talking to myself and making money. This amazement of my extra ordinary smartness kept me up till 4:40 when I noticed the lights of the perfect family balcony room brightened my dark room. I saw the curtains go down and there was Nera, my classmate, and now my neighbor and my muse. We were casual friends nominally; in light of truth, I liked her a little too much. She saw me that night of dawn and to my dread, she asked me about it and I was obliged to spawn a story of how I started waking up at dawn. And that moment and day I started waking up at dawn to covet the fact of my a little too much fondness towards her. Our first meeting wasn¡¯t ideal for starting a fairy tale, she kind of bullied me took me on a casual date, and made me eat fried chicken. I cannot lie, I liked it. I thought she would be a bold and rainbow girl; I was entirely wrong. She had standards, she had a maintenance to rack and she managed it all. Nera liked reading, she would either read the stupidest things or research papers from Stanford. She was a useless dictionary of random things sometimes and she loved physics, she never solved a problem of it yet she knew every logic. She was smart and it showed. She did not like being first or being entitled. She always likes knowing things. She liked knowing things for her good. She is kind and polite like always. Nera was competitive and dense sometimes. Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. She was only human after all, it was just me who saw in a different light. Lost in my head she crossed the road and waved her hand to me ¡°Hey idiot, earth to you.¡± Her voice was sweet and mellow as ever, as it ever is. She liked the quiet. Shaken out of my zone, I was a little red-cheeked she caught me in my thoughts. ¡°a penny for my thoughts? No, I¡¯ll pass. You won¡¯t be able to keep up with my high concepts.¡± I was thinking about you. How will I make you make you how I do? My love. ¡°it¡¯s a misjudgment in your interpretation with stressing this situation we only woke up and you¡¯re already lost in your head. Hm, so highly of you¡± Her face was straight, with no hint of any emotion. A nice morning of mock, yeah. I like it. I smiled, ¡° A morning fan who despises waking up. A living paradox with a lapse in judgment.¡± Teasing her is nothing new. She hates it in the morning and such harsh jokes are how we pave our day to light. ¡°I just couldn¡¯t sleep well. I woke up rather usual.¡± She is an easy person and subliming her quality; she is blunt and honest. I am glad we were closer than friends. I was spared from her harsh reality check that lit one to cry. She is a sweet person and it¡¯s visible yet she is only human after all. She has her pile of flaws. She is sensitive and thoughtful. She loves gently nonetheless she loves fast. ¡°Nera, what do you think life is?¡± I questioned her with the assumption of an answer I made as my own for her. What life is? A wish? A whisper of death? A thread of dreads? A bliss? A bounty of miracles? Stirring an answer for myself, I saw her homing an answer for herself. This morning, I had made myself tight my belt, I was going to profess my love for her. Washing my slate of love, and spoiled milk all over my problem, I asked her a baseless quantum query that my philosophy mate in ethics class suggested to me as a measure of starting someone in your life. To simply understand his words, when you realize you want to love someone. When you decide they are in your life, or sometimes maybe your life. She took a few minutes to answer, I saw that gleam in her eyes; she had an answer to blow me away. ¡°Cielo, life is maybe this selfish need to watch the sunrise again tomorrow. Life is maybe a poetry the world recites every day. Life may be a prayer or a lie. Life may be nothing or a bundle of nothingness. Life, maybe is a matter of time or a crosswind. I don¡¯t know a concrete answer to back any philosophy with a deemed right moral. Maybe life is all the breaths you couldn¡¯t count, all the grasp for breaths, or all missed heartbeats. All I have believed life is, life is your existence with love. It¡¯s a long run for us to still find the intricacy of life just yet. Life is a void an empty you fill. All I am sure is, that life is lived best with dream.¡± She paused and my world paused all along. I expected an answer that didn¡¯t thrash me into reality yet she threw me through height and I became Icarus. I flew with every syllabus leaving her lips. She then continued, ¡°Except for the fact, that I have refined living. Living is a collection of choices that precision on point, it¡¯s a collection of spontaneous choices. When, where I could be hurt and disheartened, I chose to smile. Maybe this is also a pretext for an answer. I don¡¯t know what life still I am living. I know living. I live by life and lives. Living is counting my missteps and that¡¯s what I shall do till I die; maybe then I could tell you what life is about. When you are six feet above with all the love, I count in this life. And the best sort of living is dying with passion. Dying for a dream.¡± Tears were scintillating in her eyes, they were her stars. I was spellbound. A sharp pain strikes me right there in my heart. I realized how much I can love her. Her talking about life is maybe the end to her living, this dawned upon me. How would I bear myself without her. She took my silence as the cue to move on and she started walking away. She laced our fingers and we walked away. I learned why Nera likes dawns. I learned Nera. Nera is my nothingness. If life is what Nera Profounds is, she is my life. She is my missing breath, my skipped heart beast, my leaps in thoughts, my answer to prayers, my the void. She lets go of my hand and asks me, ¡°What is a dream Cielo?¡± Still with you. Still with you It¡¯s my own heart. I really doubt. This thing in me is more of her than being mine. Forgetting everything around me and I have no sense of time. The surrounding is misted and she calls me again. If nothing I can make of this, an evening, a time of rain. It was forecasted the previous night; that it was going to rain today but we both left our umbrellas at home. Why not, we love the rain. And as the lovers we let her love us how she wants until it¡¯s the time to let her be and to be spectators of her beauty. We let her fall on us while we fall for her. Fools together, and a fool for her. 20 August 2004, a very sad-to-be-tough life of a teenager who are absolutely mind blown by just living. As soon as we left the campus, it started raining. A sweet drizzle to deluge shower. We were soaked and smiling. I love rain. She loves us too. It was a little harsh downpour, we had to take a shed. We planned to walk home in drizzle but our darling rain had promised rage today. The way to the bus stand had us soaked yet it wasn¡¯t something to mind. We sprinted our way to the bus stand but my darling was in the mood of playing hard so we had to stop mid and resort to a shelter. To our fate, there was this little store. This little store has always been here since my dad was a kid. A cozy store. This little store, owners were mindful while making a shed enough to fit in some people. She and I, an elderly couple and a fresh love couple who weren¡¯t shy of showing their affection in public. I got shy and wished somewhere it was us. The elderly couple had an umbrella. I asked them why they weren¡¯t going home if they had umbrella. Nera smacked my head and said, ¡°Idiots, it¡¯s their place.¡± I was a little too much indulged into her to notice that. My bad. She was observant, she saw everything; more than we noticed. She sees it all. Yet she missed the love dissolved in my eyes. The old couple was kind enough to let us have some warm tea with them saying, ¡°A rainy day and hot tea is a luxury of the street. Never deny, if offered.¡± We grasped the advances. I lost my head again. Isn¡¯t it amusing? There are people maybe more than stars and each of them has a chest, a chest of stories. I always wondered why tressures were said to be chests. Who did it? Then one day sitting down it came to me. Tressures are said chest because they have something in them that is to be cherished. For a pirate, it¡¯s jewels and for us, it was hearts. Too much in my head. It was getting darker and the atmosphere was also getting to a lane to a sense of despondence. Maybe it wasn¡¯t, it was just me and my conflicts. She, my love; love so beautiful. This time it was about, Nera. We have spent enough time together and it dawned on me; I started falling; falling for her. And today, I realized I have gone too far, no way back, I have fallen. She is angelic. And I have been so in love. Her wet lashes and flushed cheeks are making her more graceful than she is. But she¡¯s always like this. I have seen her always like this but now there is a halo around her. I love how her eyes crinkle when she smiles, I love how her crescent smile shows her teeth and gums out. I love her hazel eyes when; whenever. Whenever, always. I love her eye smiles. Her facial muscles will lift slowly, scrunching her nose and wrinkling around her eyes, her lashes brushing her cheeks gently and her, her eyes will close enough it¡¯s hard for her to see but still feel heart-bursting contentment. She stands out while she smiles. I forgot everything around. And her, her everything, I fall in love with. I am so in love, so in love. And today, I had to tell her that with every breath I take, I desire her, I love her, it respires through me with every breath. I was so full of love, I only beathed her. This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report. Last week while shopping with mom I bought a pendent for her as a promise to her a symbol of my love that it reminds her of me. Instead of asking her hand with love, I backed off. I thought of her with me and I got lost in love. This love of mine isn¡¯t her just yet. I missed some things between the lines. And this absurdity made me choose the easiest endeavor out. I love her but does she do the same. I lost my line there. It was killing me. I couldn¡¯t profess. However, I came in terms with my remorse. That this love is all mine. I love her and that¡¯s all mine to feel so. It is selfish to put my expectations on her of love. Since this term of unrequited love, I have been keeping this pendant around everywhere with me. I live with this contentment that she is around me, so beautiful. She is with me. I live by this love. I live by her. She completes me. She breathes life in me. In my head too much. I was brought back to earth with her shaking me out of these thoughts. Gently shaking me, ¡°Hey, let¡¯s go home.¡± With glimmer in her eyes, ¡°It¡¯s drizzling.¡± Thanking the generous couple, we left the store we walked our way home. Quiet and slow. This time, her hand I won¡¯t let go. A little selfish, a little time. My love is alone and mine. Our soaked feet walked together; we tread together yet my path different from hers. Together we laughed, together we cried. A love, I alone am tied. An evening dark, my heart blue. I wish, in my love; I could mold you. But alone mine and a you thinking mind, I only see you, other are sight, of the hind. Behind the faint smile, my heart is bleeding. Lost this battle with it, how much I could be conceding. You take my empty and I hold it with a nothing of us. You planted this love in me, cancerous. Together, you and I. Not just us. ¡°We are here.¡± She said mellow. She bought me back. A sweet hmm I said, ¡°We are home.¡± Lost in my eye, my mind shallow. ¡°I don¡¯t want this to end.¡± This evening is one of lifetime. ¡°Could it get better?¡± Thinking loudly of myself, ¡°If only you were mine.¡± In the drizzle, you and I, together just not together. I wanted time to stop so I could hold myself and we had walked more and fall into each other. She walked home. She went away. It was a whisper she heard. I was still one call away. You bury me. You bury me. Nera ¡°Two souls are sometimes created together and in love before they¡¯re born.¡± Absurd, this is how I felt when I read this quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald, On the contrary, this quote had my face twisted in some sort of way I couldn¡¯t make out if I liked it or I hated how much I can like it. The chances of this love of soul realm were silver in this soul-sour world. I never believed in love at first sight. It was a stupid idea. An incredible idea, incredulous. How can I comprehend this complex emotion of love with just one glance? I am supposed to love them on unknown ground. I could never. Maybe. Nevertheless, who could tell? I believed in fate and an afterlife, if so this absurd idea of living may brew itself. And it did. I fell. I fell with a glance. A glimpse of him and I was a goner. I was transferred to another school due to some unexpected stance of life. I lost my little brother in my mother¡¯s womb, he didn¡¯t get to see the world and we didn¡¯t get a chance to pat him with love. He was my long wish, I was 5 when this loneliness started choking me. I asked my parents for a sibling. Some unfortunate happen for no reason. We don¡¯t get to blame it on anything, not a person nor the time nor anything, except fate. A mere chance of joy was taken away from us when we lost my brother. We were smiling we were happy for a future that was a mere promise. A lie we live every day said to be tomorrow. One day, we slept with the glee of being four, and the next morning it was us, three; with the heaviness of being three again. I lost how to feel things there, I knew happiness, I knew sadness, I knew anger. They stopped visiting me, leaving me with nothingness and myself. I befriended grief there. We got along a little too much. He clung to me every night and pacified me to sleep early. I started waking up early. And soon, this grief left me at peace. And I started dreaming at night, and my days were like dreams. And we moved on. We moved; moved into a new neighborhood for a fresh start and to our luck, my mother¡¯s casual high school friend lived the street opposite ours. I lived alone there for a while when I transferred to school. I met this boy there, and the absurd idea of love started making sense: Cielo, as pretty as myth and mellow as a delicacy. I denounced my ideals when he sat by my side. He was flustered and stuttered his name Smitten before I could do anything else he corrected himself, ¡°Hi, I actually am Cielo. I had a little you know rusty morning aahahhahaha. Let¡¯s get along.¡± Cute, I was blushing inside, he word out his laugh like an idiot and I shamelessly named him an idiot. I remember it all. He reminded me of cupcakes and I couldn¡¯t even reason why. I was shy and I didn¡¯t know how to approach him. During the lectures I saw him asking our classmates about a good chicken place, I took quite an interest in it and lured him into lies that I couldn¡¯t live without chicken and took him out on an impromptu date to the chicken place my parents met. A blunt stupid lie took out a chance on me of life. It was a tickle I felt in my chest. My cheeks were cherry, I could feel it. After nights, I felt something sparkle in me; this time, it wasn¡¯t white. My empty canvas found its colors maybe. Maybe, he was my canvas I could let my colors out on, or maybe that¡¯s what I thought. His face twisted in sulk, he seemed cute. The date was a success. I came home content with my day, I was happy with life, it¡¯s not that bad. Cielo looked like life gave me a gentle hold. He was a fairly tall guy, enough to stood out among others, sharp features; a high bridge button but sharp nose which scrunched everything he smiled and lord bless, he never talked without that smile politely sticked to his face. He was sickly sweet of talker, extremely polite; His parents were fine of people, they were humble and kind, He was raised to be a gentleman. His eyes had shimmer in them, something I couldn¡¯t make out. A rimmed glasses jock nerd, Cielo was easy talk. He had many stops at hallway. I could look at him without awe, as much of best of both worlds he was rooted to be annoying. I couldn¡¯t complain, he ceased my loneliness with him. He was comfortable with my silence. I could hear him rumble all days long. The moment of silence were the serenity drawn for us. This how I fell, I fell in his brown eye which rooted me consolation of love at first sight. When there is something to live for. Life feels bearable at least. Cielo is a dream, reality feels nightmare now. My Cielo, my sky. We stuck around each other every possible time, we were friends, maybe that¡¯s what we thought. All the clich¨¦ quotes started making sense. I couldn''t even deny when it was right in my face and that¡¯s all I could see. A doom to denial. If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. I saw him. On Monday, we decided to meet up at a gas station to get some tea together, Cielo was true to his roots, convincing me we should switch up to coffee, insufferable. He didn¡¯t talk a lot yet not quite most of the time. He makes sharp snickers remarks once in a while, he is a witless fool. He walked down the street and had tea. Rerouting on our way home, he couldn¡¯t stop talking about the rich smooth taste of tea, he always had some interesting philosophical reasoning for everything however he kept it at bay today, For some reason. ¡°Cielo¡± I called out his name seeking his attention, he nodded his answer. ¡°What do you think love is?¡± We kept walking; he said with a faint voice ¡°When; in this fast-paced world, a hold of hand never changes.¡± His hand made its way to intertwine our fingers and we talked our ways. My heart swelled; I loved him. I love him. The following morning he brought me a philosophical stance, he taught me how Arabs have different ways of professing their love they say ¡°Amoot feek¡± which means ¡°I die in you¡±. Amidst this lingual romanticism, he made me practice sincerity and how to say it. He looked me right in the eyes and said ¡°Nera, amoot feek; Ya¡¯aburnee¡± I could see something in his eyes and before I could name it he turned away. I hmed in agreement with him, his lesson was taught well. Tearing attention away, I had this selfishness in me; that unnamed gaze has gripped my selfishness, maybe if it wasn¡¯t just a glimpse, he would love me too. Yesterday, Cielo and I had a moment. We were getting back home in the August rain and walked in the drizzle. We stalled at a small tea corner, a time of small soft smiles and I noticed something in Cielo, something I could name; I was sure of him. We had spent our time there admiring the beauty of falling and rain. After a tea, it started raining drizzle, we could go home now so I shook him, ¡°Hey, let¡¯s go home.¡± He smiled at me, we thanked the couple and made our way out. We started walking home and he was having a walk of his thoughts. Eventually, we got home, we had to part here. I jolted him out of his thoughts ¡°We are home.¡± He repeated, ¡°We are home.¡± I was ready to bid my farewell, ¡°Could it get better¡± he whispered to himself ¡°Only if you were mine.¡± I, my heart swelled. I walked away home in the hope he¡¯d stop me only to come down to nothing yet he didn¡¯t walk away. I could feel it. A damned fool, this life was worth living; with him. When there is something to live for. Life feels bearable at least. Life is bearable with Cielo. A life worthy of him. the leaps of time, the missing heartbeats, missteps. Living is worth for life, that is what life is. I slept like a mad of love this night. I woke up at usual hour to Cielo shouting my name at the window, nosy bastard. I loved him though. I smiled to myself. I had slept in love last night. My chest tingled with his name, and a small flutter brushed in my chest every time I saw him, I let myself be deluded in denial until. I was handed the luxury of love and let alone the thought of him, had a small smile of love on my face. I loved him, I love him. I rushed to the window keeping my cool, I couldn¡¯t let love crack me before I could tell him. I waved at him and gestured to wait. I changed my clothes and went down to him. The street lights brightened our faces, and Cielo looked beautiful, beautiful like love. ¡°Morning to you,¡± he said somewhat glum, I limiting myself to read more into him. I¡¯ll let myself be a little selfish and relish my heart to the fullest. ¡°Do you want to go to the beach today?¡± I question him knowing the answer is going to be yes, he has never denied my request since day one; and isn¡¯t that how we met? This flutter in my chest has made a girl homed to be more feminine, I started to like flowers, smiling more, being silly, and laughing. I grew gentle and warmer. When he answered yes. We started walking, to the beach or maybe to a new beginning. After the 10 min walk, the salty breeze wafted our hair strands. Being in love is comical, everything starts feeling like movies, and things start feeling nice for no reason. Ice-creams are sweeter, pizzas are delicacies, and spending time with him paints my heart red in affinity. Grounding ourselves on the cool sand, we stood there soaked in ourselves until I couldn¡¯t keep myself, a little impatient to die. My reign of self-restraint was loose, on the edge. I finally called for him. ¡°Cielo¡± I call his name, I call him. a call for him. ¡°Do you believe in love at first sight?¡± and braced myself for his philosophy and he answered in a breath ¡°I do.¡± My eyes widened in surprise; a chuckle left me. ¡°Sparing me of groundbreaking interests today? , The concept of love, at first sight, is flawed. I didn¡¯t believe it¡± I paused; it was finally time. He will know, he shall know. ¡°Until, until after that single sight, my heart kept asking for more. Growing unhealthy dependency on it. I am in love, Cielo. It homed in me and I admit it has grown on me to be fond of it.¡± I said with a smile, this time it displayed love into it. I turned myself to face him and finally broke my fetters, ¡°You bury me, Cielo.¡± Adding to it ¡°If it¡¯s not love at sight, it¡¯s love at every sight. The more I look at you the more I want to look for you.¡± I braced myself ¡°You are all I know about love. You stopped my heart Cielo.¡± I grew afraid, nervous that it may he might have changed him, the love I saw in him might vanish overnight. ¡°I don¡¯t know what makes love love. I lost my awareness of everything, that¡¯s all I see. My heart is entangled in your thoughts. My happiness is rooted in you, the luxury of love is handed to me and I can¡¯t deny it; no more This sensation has pinned my heart at the softest point and it can¡¯t help but melt¡±. A smile softened his face and he intertwined our fingers. And my heart had burst there and we knew, it was us in love. Not just him, not just me. It¡¯s us. His face stretched into a smile mirroring mine moonlit his pale skin and his gleaming eyes; he looked embody love, ¡° This time this love will not float away like a dream. Nera, I don¡¯t know what¡¯s coming but if I am with you; I¡¯ll walk again. I love you infinity. You bury me nera, you bury me¡± My love had longed for him and it worth it. He rested his head mine and I smile confession, ¡°You bury me,Cielo you bury me.¡± I lived through live and found love. A soft ground, a breaking, a deep caress gentleness, An act of living, dying. I miss us. Dream, dream. A mind of business and my heart fell for intricacy of arts. I dropped out my business degree for designing buildings. For 12 years of my life and almost half of my father¡¯s it was labeled to me ¡°my father¡¯s child, with mind of excellence. He should be the next best CEO.¡± A child of 10 celebrated it with enthusiasm of another fancy celebration. Since then, I was ought to love business, and I had liked it. I had liked it how it made my father proud. I had liked how my father would let me go out to explore the businesses. I had liked how my father was so fond of business I liked how my father eyes gleam. I liked everything about it. Then I hated to admit that child grew up on his own. He started exploring. His mind flew from places to places. The child become an adult and an adult with a dream like a child. What I did not liked was; my urge to disappoint him with what I loved. I hated how I had to water his hopes. I hated how I had to say ¡®no¡¯ to man who ever did was say ¡®yes¡¯ to me. I hated how I loved him less than myself. I hated how I had A DREAM. I hated how I wanted this dream to come true. I hated how I had to be a rebel. I hated how he had me. I always remembered dates. Dates I had my life almost changed. 9th of December, my 5th semester got completed and I had dropped out. And I had to tell my father I had a dream. Father, I had to because this girl I fell for made me happy, she showed me what happiness does look like. I was always happy; you did make me happy but she showed me the elation that came from passion. I loved business, I loved it but when I picked the charcoal pencil and drew a home for you; A life, a little life bloomed in me and it made me smile different. She never did anything wrong she just saw the gleam in my eyes and told me about it, she saw it dad. Why did not you? I lived with this business degree mind too much I couldn¡¯t show it to you but when did you saw my eyes empty of dream. You saw me under the light of dream that you saw for me. Father, i wasn¡¯t empty when I saw a dream is this how you shouldn¡¯t be like? A child with dream was never yours. I am grateful you were generous for giving the life one could only wish. I had everything just a life empty of dream. I hadn¡¯t this ability to have one, it was never needed but I saw someone living with passion and they shone the brightest in the crowd. Dad, I grew jealous of her, I was jealous of her that it thrived this zeal in me. Dad, I am sorry. I became a dreamer. It¡¯s been years since you said I am no longer your son and you have nothing to do with an idiot driven by desire of time. Father, I make decent amount to live now. It was difficult to live at first, I missed you. I missed you. I wanted to run back at home and hug you then come back to my life of my dream. The luxury I left behind I never missed it, I missed; you. I know you love me. I know you love us. I know you love her as your own. Father, she loves you too. She cried everyday missing the love you gave her. She missed how you gave her family recipes as a secret but when she learned how to cook them, she couldn¡¯t make them for you. She cried at night in the balcony, when she made your favourite dish and it tasted the same as yours. She slept empty stomach that day. She never cooked it again. She loves you to father. We love you. Each passing day, I wish we could always live like kids who lived for their parents but father wouldn¡¯t it be betraying this soul god made. We only wanted to be fair to yourselves dad. Dad, this life of dream may not be the nicest but I come home tired and always fell asleep satisfied with a smile. Then I cry a little and dream of us together, happy, again. I liked living this life. We were living tight on paychecks but I was living a life of dream. This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience. I like it. I was satisfied. But what I did not liked was. I became a fatherless child with my father alive. You will come to my condo, sit there looking around. I saw you face contort in discomfort of your child living a life you never wished to ever see me. Father, I knew all the groceries you left on the door. She always told me; I save us money a lot and every time I couldn¡¯t get it. Hiding the tears behind silly jokes, she made sure we are smiling. Every day you made sure I had the food. With cracking this mystery, I lived my dream better. You were here, even if you didn¡¯t wanted to be. You were my father. When you visited me and refused to even look at me some part of dying but was keeping me live too. I wanted you to look me as before, better than before. Dad, I hated myself too. I hated it. I hated how you grew this disliking for her when all she did was tell me my covet dream is killing me and I deserve to live, to live it. I had lived a life by you and she did nothing. She did nothing just showed a smile. A smile of me when my dream had shone bright, a smile when I had a dream, I knew I loved and how it looked like. 4th of march I realized I had a dream and I had met her on the same day. 4th of march I realized I had selfishness that I had to make it come true. 9th of march I decided it the first one to celebrate my success should be you. Father, don¡¯t you want to know does this dreaming feels like? Dad, I feel so alive. I feel as if the world isn¡¯t that bad after all. When I dare to play with lines, when dared to bend them to make it flower in wall. Dad, my own art mocked me and I did it, it pushed me to do better. It laughed in my face and I cried however your son never wanted to give up ever because why should he. I did better the next time until it got satisfied. I loved this tormented self because I started sleeping better at nights. Dad, I loved it. I liked business too but it never sparked my soul. Dad I never felt as I lived a life until I started to live my dream. It made me satisfied and happy; I was content enough. I had no regrets; I have no regrets. Dad, why did my dream make you angry? I never get to know the answer and I always dared to ask it. You never told me dad. What more I can harbor now? I still ask you dad why? Why? Why did this fate had to be so cruel that we had to part our ways? Why did you just let me go? Was my dream so cruel that you killed being alive. A happily ever and after. A happily ever and after ¡°I am sorry.¡± I was lip tight, Nera was visibly angry and an apology was what could fix it, a chicken bucket would soothe her. For now, the premonition is that she wouldn¡¯t bear me a glance. She finally spoke, ¡°We need to break up.¡± My breath caught up in my throat, it can¡¯t be. A mistake, formidable. I meekly breathed out ¡°Nera¡± She hadn¡¯t spared me. It was done. ¡°We are married. Breaking up is left afar.¡± I had wished death upon me, I was gone like a goner. ¡°Nera you can¡¯t try to break up with me just because I want to name our child ¡®Skewer Toll¡¯ That''s cool.¡± The air was chill, and I could see Nera grow horns, but I was gone. I had to brace myself for the intelligent mouth; Cielo Castilo why do you have to piss the woman who could stew you and make it a toll. Nera adjusted her silver-rimmed glasses on the nose bridge and gave me a side look. My hands were maneuvering the stirring wheel with a film of sweat, and I had played it cool. ¡°Cielo Castilo, You should stop squinting your eyes and start squinting that brain of yours.¡± That was my Nera. She had ended me with just a sentence. Her game was not my bar, I could never surpass my woman and that¡¯s what had hinged me on her. A chuckle left me and lightened the air ¡°You bury me.¡± And an elbowed had nipped my ribs and Nera laughed. Her laugh pars the melody of Beethoven or Mozart whatever those names are, my heart would burst into butterflies in my chest, a pleasing tickle. I could end the world just for a mere promise of keeping her laugh and sweet smile preserved. I am just a lover, this must be love maybe. If I could stem a term to this feeling it would be falling in love all over again. ¡°It¡¯s my last lecture, I offered to my students. I promised them to bring my husband. You have earned yourself quite a name Mr.Castilo.¡± Nera had pursued her dream, she never had one. She went along the line and did what she left like, A philosophy teacher. She earned herself invitations from universities and for this week''s success, it was her farewell lecture for the students until she was ready again. I paid lunch for her students to take care of her and Nera sang my name famously, oh lord I love this woman. And with my tread of thought, we arrived at our destination. I helped her out of the car and we made our way to the classroom, I walked a step behind Nera with her hand supporting her back, it hadn¡¯t changed much. Time had leaped backward and we were kids again, falling in love. It hadn¡¯t, much had changed and now we had our own name of love. A pleasant smile had stuck to my face, I couldn''t be happier yet I will be. I will be a father to my child that Nera and I had made, with love, our own name of love, Skewer Toll. My memory laned to when we had found Nera was pregnant. I was an Idiot, her stupid, her idiot. Fool for her. We were returning from our first ultrasound appointment, and while sitting in the car I broke our giddy bubbles of glee with, ¡°Nera, I bought something for you.¡± I took out a small paper wrap with daisies on it and handed it to her, before she could say anything I broke in, ¡°I was over the moon when you told me we were making our team stronger with one more little rebel. I was so happy that I could barely make sense of anything. The only thing that was displaying in funny text in the back of my head was I love you, I love you Nera and I am going to be a dad. I felt as if my life has never been hard and happiness is the only thing I have humanly felt. There was not one emotion I could say out loud except for happiness. For making life bearable, for making me bearable, I am grateful beyond word so take this as a token of gratitude.¡± Nera nodded and smiled while retorting, ¡°How many trials of practice did you run to verse your ode to me? And that too without stuttering?¡± and we both burst into soft heartful chuckles and I continued with. ¡°Nera, I love you and I bought this dress for when we got married to gift you yet it was too early, with our first meeting I always knew you were the one for me. I bought it when we were ¡°just dating¡± It looked as if it was tailor-made for you and you only before anyone could bat their eyes on it, and while coming home I realized it was a maternity dress not that trendy summer dress. I was embarrassed but won¡¯t deny it fluttered my heart when I thought of you being glowy and pregnant. It was not my intention while buying it but it felt good. I took a U-turn and went to my parent''s house to ask my mom to keep it until it ever happened. I am living that dream today. When we¡¯ll grow in this pregnancy I hope to see you in this dress. Thank you so much for making my life bearable.¡± I was one step away from crying when answered with silence teary eyes the brightest smile and heart-filled happiness.Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. A piece of memory, I am the happiest man yet to be happier. We were outside the classroom, and Nera squeezed my hand consoling me, telling me ¡°It is going to be okay¡± and I know it will be. We entered the class and there was the white flower confetti shower, I needed to keep this secret from Nera I paid for all this, it was her farewell for better. The board was covered with silly quotes that she goes by along with some decorations, Louis blue balloons, and the blackboard headed with ¡°Mrs. Nera You glow like the light you are¡±. My face was pleasantly stretched with a small smile, seems like it¡¯s worth it. I couldn¡¯t help Nera with the nature of her state, but I did what I could that let her know she was not alone. Nera is resilient, a wonder of nature, a woman. She had carried everything all by herself in these endeavors of nature and all I could do it hold her hand, in this fast-changing world. She needed to sit down now and let me do it for her. 40 of her students and one me, waiting for her to react. My heart is on choke with 40 others, we had our bets made. Nera smiled, she smiled and my heart busted. She chuckled softly, her smile softening our hearts. Her eyes scintillating stars, a beam of happiness; that was my Nera. If I could name this feeling, I am falling in love all over again. A call of life so pleasant I forgive it for everything, all the heartbreaks can be overlooked if Nera stays here forever. An eternity of happiness for Nera, that¡¯s all I ask for. Nera verses her gratitude mellow ¡°Oh so my husband had greed pave his way hmmm. A smart man indeed.¡± Well, she knows me too well, denying will be foolish to do. ¡°so the celebration of the walking assignment taking a break have all of you thrown a feast right in your lecture hall? Facts served, Enjoy everyone. I am pleased though. I am grateful that you have it prepared for me.¡± Nera might come out rather less excited, she is blooming inside. Her words aren¡¯t shallow and as always her eyes say it all. 40 people with a giddy feeling of their teacher being fluffy as not her usual and her husband who has his heart busted open in his chest. Nera comes with, ¡° Everyone I shall return the favor, I would be rude if I don¡¯t. No lecture for today. I¡¯ll order fried chicken and Cola for everyone as a token of gratitude, thank you for taking care of me and being diligent students, My journey of life is turning bumpy as it¡¯s visible. Thank you for trying to ease it up, your intentions are indented on my heart, once again thank you. I wish all of you well for the rest of your life.¡± She took a pause and turned herself to me ¡°And thanks for respecting my husband, he is truly a funny man, I hope you had him lose his pocket quite a sum. Cielo, I¡¯ll see you at home.¡± She blushed while continuing with a film of happy tears on her rims ¡°You bury me.¡± And buried herself in my chest. The giddy new adults cheered their mentor and her lovesick husband. Life is bearable with Nera, Nera is worth living this life. She is worth everything, everything, and mine. I wrapped my hands around her, embracing my love, my Nera. She is all I know about love and she is my world. I can live without her, life is cruel and it¡¯s a cold possibility yet I don¡¯t want to live without her, she buries me. Letting myself melt in this little ball of the world in her nape ¡°I love how, even in a room full of people you make we¡¯re in our own world. The sound of conversations fades away and all I want to hear is your voice¡± and my silence is serene, Nera molds against me; this time softer, gentler. We let ourselves be vulnerable with spectators, and they learn that the philosophy of love is true when you want to love. We are not Romeo or Juliet, a play performance; We were Nera and Cielo, buried in love. Love will drown you to depth, don¡¯t fight it. Let yourself love and let yourself be loved, hold a hand the same in this fast-paced world. ¡°You will father a cute girl,a girl, Cielo¡± I lived. Chapter-7 I lived. I lived, I lived through the love of a dreamer, I lived through a dream, I lived through the love of disagreement; I lived. Nera and I, we lived. The teenage years of pubescent, the years of love, the years of cold wrath, and warmth, four seasons with eternal frigid. We were having a daughter; I had always wished for a daughter. A beautiful girl, embodied on what I loved, her mother. Through life''s changes, an unchanging hold of hand in this fast-paced world, My Nera, my youth, my heart, my love. She had invited my parents for dinner at our house today. A family dinner of her broken family, her parents couldn¡¯t come due to being away for work, same old same. My mother was delighted with the idea of seeing her once-in-blue-moon son who had turned her family blue, she couldn¡¯t despise her only son, could she? She has the heart of a mother, that¡¯s what Nera had told me. ¡°Cielo, Now that we are going to be parents; it lightens my heart. We have lived life as individuals and one day our daughter will grow up in her own of a person, we cannot dictate her life yet the hurt and harm she has to live through burn my heart, and even if she hurts me, us, I cannot bring myself to think I would hate. If one thing I couldn¡¯t give my daughter is my heart of hate.¡± And there I had grasped my chance of redemption. I never realized how much we had grown up and with this, I called my mom asking her to come; along with Dad. An apology as a father and a son was pending. I was nervous through the evening checking the doorbell ring, it¡¯s not like they had never visited before, they always had come. My mother with a warm torn smile and my father, upset and cold. The overdue apology needed to be made, I wanted my father to be done, for his granddaughter and her father. ¡°Cielo stop, it¡¯s literally the 17th time you have checked with the doorbell is working. Do one thing, call the service and get it checked¡± Nera was nervous, wrecked sweating, and cooking my father¡¯s favorite, again after years. She was annoyed yet wanted to ease me by making a joke. I picked up my phone and dialed. There was a call ringing. After a few rings, they picked up, and I spoke, ¡°Mrs.Castillo service? Please check my doorbell for me.¡± Nera huffed a small breath, an annoyed smile, she was pleased, I could not see it however I know so ¡°Mr.Cielo your doorbell is working as fine as an individual you are, please wait for it to ring and if you doubt it won¡¯t; family can always come in without a ring¡± This is Nera, my Nera, she lived with me, she lived for me. She bury me. She looked out of the kitchen already, in her daisy dress and here my heart had burst again, I was falling in love all over again. She always knows what to say. Nera looked like an angel; she was a beautify of worlds and a glowing halo. In the back of my mind, this thought of guilt had scratched itself; Nera had blamed herself for the father and son feud, even though all she did was, make me see my eyes. She had no share of this sorrow that she had picked on herself. Before I could delve into that house forever, this time the doorbell rang. Nera rushed out of the kitchen and I came behind shouting out at her to be careful. We shared a nervous look and nodded confidence to each other before opening the door, Nera looked at me and smoothed my anxiety with ¡°You bury me¡± and the ¡®amount of heaviness died down and I opened the door. I saw my parents¡ªmy mother, warm as usual, and my father. A pit of emotions swirled in me. I was happy, sad, numb, and dumb; I was just that 21-year-old boy again. Taking me well, Nera invited them with a mellow smile, squeezing my hand to comfort me. We sat down for dinner and it passed with a heavy silence in the air. We were afraid of each other and what had to come. I was whelmed with a vague sense of cowardice, I was frightened by the feeling, that it wouldn¡¯t end well. Still, I want to dive in for the chance. I called out ¡°Dad, can we please talk for a moment¡± She looked at me with cold eyes, distant; we were poles apart in the same room yet a feeling of fatherhood had bound us now. He nodded a response as yes, Nera had read the room and so did Mom. They left us to have the inevitable of fate. I was anxious and my ground of stability left me to deal with it alone. I made up my mind to be courageous and face it today ¡°Dad, why is it so hard to forgive me? All I did was to choose what I had loved and I still do. I understand your reasoning, I understood your love and I still do but when is this going to end, it kills me. It kills me the same it had years ago.¡± He kept his silence intact, not an angry man today neither was. He kept looking at me with empty eyes and it welled my eyes ¡°I am tired Dad, I am tired, nera is tired, Mom is tired. Why not you.¡± I paused and took a breath of courage ¡°It¡¯s a daughter, Dad, I am going to father a daughter, she is not here yet. I don¡¯t know what I will do however what I know is that I will turn the world upside down or loped or ugly pink blue, or green if that makes her happy, my father thought that becoming a father was not how I could provide her comfort but how to keep her happy¡± I was chuckled ¡°Comfort is easy to give father but happiness nips at everyone different, I will be a father and I will swear on heavens and earth I will protect her with everything yet I will do my best to keep her happy and let her live dreams. I will love her despite.¡± I was a mess, tears streaming down my face ¡°As a father, I beg you to forgive your child to be brave and dream and live that dream. As a son, I am sorry dad, I am sorry for being the man you taught me to be.¡± I looked at his face, he looked some years younger and his eyes softened. He was again my father and I was his 21-year-old son again, his welling ever so he kept silent. My heart couldn¡¯t bear it anymore and I stormed out of the house again like 21 year old.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. After that heated conversation with Dad, the 21-year-old dreamer stormed out of the house as his father denied his right to dream and had already laid out a future for his small dream with his welled eyes laced with disappointment, the same as 5 years before. I pulled the car out of the garage and drove off. Away, away from him, it gets heavy to forgive when every sight of him hurts. I was too fond of beaches; they were mock of the nature of extremes. Extremely dried sand with an incredible amount of salty water, and crashes of waves. It reminded me of myself, It made me not so fond of myself. Tears were trickling down my cheeks, over and above it. I was worn out of this dog and wagging tail game of disagreement. My father was deliberately choosing to distress my dreams and happiness and like every other dreamer, it was clenching my heart. He was the best father I could ever ask for and it turned 360 in a flick. I didn¡¯t despise him for it, even if I wanted to I could never do it. With a grip over the steering, I aimlessly drove to the beach road. Deja vu. I pulled over the car on the side of the road and stared at the beach, it looked peaceful and serene. I wiped my tears and walked down to the vendor who was still there. He looked at me with sad eyes and said, ¡°Hello¡± he paused sensing my despair, ¡°Rough day?¡± my red eyes and puffed cheeks speak for themselves, He put in words again, ¡°Take whatever you like, it¡¯s on me.¡± And smiled. My failed attempt to hide my glossy eyes came into show and I nodded my thank you and picked a pack of cigarettes. I went back to my car and stood by it, fiddled out the pack, and took one cigarette out, I maneuvered it in between my lips and took a puff of it in the hope it would covet my sobs and tears yet A scornful cry left me, my eyes turned watery and tears washed my face. I was standing there crying, my wind in a whirl I hated the fact that even with tears streaming down me, my heart was excusing my dad. Deep inside, it was me up against my love for Dad. With every thought treading my mind, I cried, my shoulders shaking with every puff of breath A bad newbie tried a cigarette for the very first time, and with every drag of it, I had a small cough itching in the back of my throat. It was the only thing keeping my thoughts to trample my sanity. I had almost finished the pack. I threw the half cigarette; it wasn¡¯t helping at all; this gray mist was enveloping my sorrow. I became the 21-year-old zesty new man again who ran out of the house like a coward, if only my father could trust me with my dream, I would still be his son and we would have been happy together. In the distance, I heard a car pull over. I didn¡¯t pay any heed to it and continued playing with the cigarettes I could mesh in the air. A honk was heard from the other side of the road, the road was empty for someone to honk sensible unless their brakes were failing or something like that. They honked again, I turned my head in their direction, and; It was my father standing with sorrow-filled eyes and open arms with a sorry small smile and his heart open. My world stopped, my heart skipped beats and I could hear or sense something. I ran, away from him, I ran so fast I could feel my heart burst. And it did burst, I took a turn and ran towards it, as fast as I could. I ran to him and hugged him as tight as I could still and all my father had his arms open and eyes horrid and pale. I looked at him and followed his eyes staring the terrific in the middle of the road. And my eyes widened, a nerving ending shock. I lived. Alive. ALIVE And my eyes widened, a nerving ending shock. A horrid scenery was painted before us. I looked over my dad¡¯s face and then again to the road. How can this happen? He was paralyzed in the moment the dense air seemed to return to the chilled night, a film of sweat and his arm wide open. His eyes were of dread and red; Red like my blood smeared on the road pooling before the truck that had hit me. My eyes closed and my nose oozed out all the blood in my body. With every new second a new streak of blood colored the road. The streets were silent, I was alive. I felt the cool wind, I felt the light. I headed my attention again to my father, I hugged him with all my might, I hugged him so tight that the next second he would vanish. I whispered ¡°Dad, look at me. I am here, Alive. Dad looked at me¡± My lungs started to constrict and my head shallowed, I was getting desperate. I held him and shook my dad, he was unmoving and unfazed. I shouted my heart out ¡°DAD LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME I AM HERE. I LIVED. I AM ALIVE. ALIVE.¡± And he was looking at me, dead, cold, red. I looked around for help, I went to the vendor who had sold me the cigarettes, he had acknowledged my father and had to be seen on the call with police and medics. His eyes were sad still had braced himself. I felt like throwing my guts out. He was too in agony that he closed his eyes and got on his crying the phone to police to just come because a young poor soul was dying. I ran to my body, I touched my face, cold and red. I checked my pulse I was not dead yet. I was dying. The moment was still, I did what I could. I performed CPR on my bloody mouth, I could feel my body but nothing made a difference. I held my hand checking for a pulse, they fainting in my body and I was feeling myself a little more. My soul was leaving my body, bit by bit. I crumpled down on the ground and cried, I cried. I had died. I screamed all with what I had. The street felt salient as it was grieving, the lights dull yet the moon was full and daunting as it was angry for me, furious. I looked over my father again and he had broken down. My father sitting on the pavement with white skin and pale eyes. He looked over my body and a tear left his eye then another and another and another. After a moment of rundown, he stood up hastily and ran to my cold lifeless body. He took me in his arms and stuck his head on the wound in the hope it would prevent life from draining out of my body. He held me tightly, trying to seize my soul within. He cried like a child, shouting for help with my icy body on his chest. My ears buzzed from his screams and anguish. He cried, he sobbed, he wept then he said ¡°I am sorry my son I am sorry my son. I loved, I love you. Don¡¯t leave just yet.¡± I saw it unfolding in front of me and I died. I cried, all my sins, all my deeds nothing made sense. Is god this cruel? He unlived me and kept me alive to kill me. 10 years of ignorance cold and harshness of my father melted in a moment and I had just died. My Nera my daughter how will they live? My Nera she¡­she will die. I can¡¯t die. I can not die. It¡¯s a dream, a dream, a reverie. I needed to wake up, I had to, I wailed to my dad, help me help me, to the sky, to the moon to anyone listening. Everything ignored my plea, I was begging and crying. Please for my wife, my daughter, my mother, and my father. Please someone save me. Please save me for myself. Nature was cruel, it had put me in the realm of shadow, a veil between me and the world and everyone.If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. The medics arrived, and they peeled my dad away from me. He yelled to oppose and it didn¡¯t work. The time numbed. They told him, he should stay put. They checked the truck and informed the driver died too. He tried his best to save both of us. Brakes failed and the emergency hack was a laughable amount shy to save us. The truck stopped after it had hit me and the impact was forceful enough to smash the driver on the steering, puncturing his lung with broken ribs and a lethal dig in his heart. We both died. He died and I am still a soul, a bodyless life. They took our bodies and dropped my father home. He insisted on not telling anyone, just yet. Everyone went back, and I sat on the pavement alone and sobbing for life. I could think of anything and I couldn¡¯t think of anything, I was thinking of everything. Nothing made sense and I was just by myself, dead and red; alive. Nera, I missed her. I didn¡¯t even have time to say goodbye. A last love you or kiss. My daughter might grow fatherless and my mother childless and My Nera, with life. A lone tear left my eye and it wetted the solid concrete under me, a mockery of nature and the divine. I became a mist of memories and cold nights. I was alive. I wish I just had died. I wished I had died. A collection of deaths is life. I wish I had died. A hope and lied; and I stood myself and I had died. I saw m. Chapter-8 I saw her. It¡¯s been 3 weeks, I have died. It¡¯s been three weeks, I am living in this world without any more existence. My family has been shattered. And I am not living it with them yet living with them. I watch them cry, break down in pieces in the morning, in the night, and some days in broad daylight. They love through this different existence. We are not in the same world anymore. I am not in the same world as them. Universe decided to mess itself and it¡¯s a vicious cycle I got stuck in. We stuck. They missed me, I am not with them. I missed them I wandered on roads, sat by my own grave, and in cruel 24 hours I saw Nera sleep for 10 hours and those 14 hours she stared into nothingness. My voice will irrevocably be forgotten yet Nera forgot how to talk. I saw her sitting, she was not grieving me. Her bump was growing day by day, I saw my daughter grow and her mother destroying itself; ¡°Every beginning is the ending of a beginning.¡± I was black and white, grey; while Nera turned blue. She was empty, at every sight. My heart broke at her sight, I saw a death sitting so far away and Nera was taking steps toward it; yet what killed me was, that she was not alone. I had spent at the foot of our bed kissing her feet, crying like a madman still it wouldn¡¯t console her. Nera was trying to kill herself and unknowingly our daughter too. When Nera broke the news of her pregnancy to me, she swore herself to die If she couldn¡¯t protect our petal and the twist of fate, I saw her strangling herself in nothingness along with our daughter. Nera brought new colors to my lives, Nera was my light; she was my Star and I was her sky. And all these nights, I saw her pale in darkness. Tonight, Nera is up, in three weeks of my death I saw her eat heartedly tonight, she is slow and sloth, and her movements lost and she ate. I thought she realized she was not alone and just by herself. She took an hour to finish this meal, she ate it slow enough to know what she was thinking, she took a bite and paused a while then continued eating, this chain stretched to an hour until she finished. She left the room to put the dishes away, and I followed her. I saw her and my parents'' eyes followed her moments, Nera paid no attention to them and cleaned the dishes, treaded her way to without of our living, she stood silently, silently enough that if her breathes weren¡¯t audible and small moments of her rising and falling torso, it would be a corpse standing. She watched the bustling of leaves out of the window for some minutes then She made her way to the sofa and sat beside my dad, talked to them, and asked them about their meals and meds. My mother¡¯s eyes were numb with tears yet she answered lovingly then she turned to Dad and asked him, ¡°Dad, you are having a granddaughter. Will you love her like you love me?¡± and it was the last straw for him burst out of his strong man composure, in my life of 26 years, I never saw a tear in his eyes and until I died; he wept for days after my death then until she spoke again ¡°Will you let her dream and still let be her your granddaughter?¡± the room fell silent. She turned to me as if she could see me. My heart almost burst in my chest (Not like it would have made any difference) and her eyes leveled with me, I saw her, her eyes welled, I saw her eyes twitch her face contouring sour and lips pursing, that silent sob was the elephant in the room. I watched my love of lives crumple before me, with every tear out of her eye my heart seemed as if someone was clutching it inside, twisting and churning my heart bare with their hands and it was evident that Nera held the same card.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. She turned to my dad and asked him, ¡°Dad, I am tired. He is tired.¡± Her voice was barely audible, and her face flushed pink with every short breath. I could hear my heart shattering right, every atom of my body trembling with her cries and I could turn myself and watch it. I cried silently as if they could hear me. Nera gently held Dad¡¯s hand and with her teary orbs looked at him and murmured ¡°Call him back Dad, I can''t bear the world without him, I can¡¯t bear myself without him.¡± Her small voice was unbearable loud in the room, it blew off dad from his feet, It was a mock, of nature and crippling helplessness that even for all the breaths in his body, every penny of his money or any sacrifices, and no matter of forces, he can¡¯t bring his son back; and there he broke. Just like a drop of rain falls from the sky, in a blink breaking into smaller globes of water and penetrating into the ground and soaking in it; I saw his heartbreak just like it, cruelly. The only difference was that somewhere those drops would get back together in the ground yet his pieces of heart would lay in him, bruised and blue terminally. He broke down. He shattered there, with Nera. Nera wept my demise, she softly sobbed as if she will sob small and slow and fate would turn kind and she would caress her out of this nightmare of reality. This is the cold reality and I am partial to it. I see my family break and enveloped by grief. My heart throbbed with the waves of tormenting misery and torture, i lunged myself forward hugged my dad cried like a maniac I cried as if he could be pacified by my attempt to soothe as if I was alive and I could pick his shattered heart and fix it. I cried on him and I cried so hard and pulled my head out to see if I could do any better only my eyes to drown in reality that my ocean of tears wouldn¡¯t make any difference to his reality, to their adage; and there I broke. Everything in this room was broken and creased. I wept and screamed in agony and no one could see, my personality was stitched with torture that I could only see, I saw them, I saw him, I saw her. In the peripheral of my vision, I saw Nera stand up and move to our room, I demurely followed her, she shut the door behind me and I stood out for her privacy. She walked out in that soft pastel blue maternity dress with little daisies on it. We were returning from our first ultrasound appointment, and while sitting in the car I broke our giddy bubbles of glee with, ¡°Nera, I bought something for you.¡± And took out a small paper wrap with daisies on it and handed it to her, before she could say anything I broke in, ¡°I was over the moon when you told me we were making our team stronger with one more little rebel. I was so happy that I could barely make sense of anything only thing that was displaying in funny text in the back of my head was I love you, I love you Nera and I am going to be a dad. I felt as if my life has never been hard and happiness is the only thing I have humanly felt. There was not one emotion I could say out loud except for happiness. For making life bearable, for making me bearable, I am grateful beyond word so take this as a token of gratitude.¡± Nera nodded and smiled while retorting, ¡°How many trials of practice did you run to verse your ode to me? And that too without stuttering?¡± and we both burst into soft heartful chuckles and I continued with. ¡°Nera, I love you and I bought this dress for when we got married, with our first meeting I always knew you were the one for me. I bought it when we were ¡°just dating¡± It looked as if it was tailor-made for you and you only before anyone could bat their eyes on it, I bought it and while coming home I realized it was a maternity dress not that trendy summer dresses. I was embarrassed but won¡¯t deny it fluttered my heart when I thought of you being glowy and pregnant. It was not my intention while buying it but it felt good. I took a U-turn and went to my parent''s house to ask my mom to keep it until if it ever happens. I am living that dream today. When we¡¯ll grow in this pregnancy I hope to see you in this dress. Thank you so much for making my life bearable.¡± I was one step away from crying when answered with silence teary eyes and the brightest smile and heart-filled happiness. I only saw her. I saw her. Today, I see her wearing that dress and the same teary eyes and contrasting heart-filled heaviness. I see her yet I saw her. I am here. Chapter-9 I am here. Nera slowly made her way to Dad; he was weeping silently. She turned to him and said, ¡°Take me to him.¡± Nera has always been a soft-spoken woman, she never like raising her voice. She used to talk steady and soft as if to hear it, it was melodies of heaven. My Nera is heavenly. She gently asked him to take her to me, Nera had swallowed the fact, that I had died. Her arms would remain empty, forever. I have never seen her cry for me, and I have never seen her so broken in these past three weeks. To my eyes, she looked shattered; anyone could tell. Dad drove Nera to the cemetery. They both were putting up a front to be strong and keep the tears at bay. They sat in silence; Nera has always been a quiet person. She never liked speaking much, she liked talking just not to anyone. This silence was not what they were fluent in. Baggage of grief, heavy on both sides. The unsaid love I couldn¡¯t profess, that she shall hold on to now. My father must be tying a stone on his heart, his grief is different than Nera¡¯s, I could tell; as a father myself. Humans are so crafty. I was mad that my father drove me away and unintentionally I went on a way I would never walk with them. I am here, and still, I am. I can¡¯t blame my demise on my father, it was not his fault yet he will live with this guilt, a regret of killing his own son, and all he did was to open his cold heart and I died; I died. I didn¡¯t die with an unhappy father; his smile was proud when I ran to him and there I died. They made their way to my grave. Dad walked forward, and Nera followed behind. Their steps were slow as if they hoped, that maybe time would change what was to come. This hapless spectator of time has lost his hand, a lost grip over reality. With every step, they dread the face of reality, which all of us hadn¡¯t dreamed of. And there they were, in front of my grave. Cielo Castillo engraved on the tombstone white marble and bunches of dried and as fresh as new flowers; it was my mother who had left them here. It was her way of grieving me, as a mother, always as a mother, gentle and soft. I watch her coming to my grave and crying here until her eyes dry, and then she leaves without sparing the last glance, her way of being a mother, gentle and soft. Nera was here now, Dad took a step back, and in a small voice, he told her he would wait for her in the car. She nodded in acceptance. It was Nera¡¯s turn to wear the heavy coat of grief. Cool ripples of wind, a soothing breezy night, and a full moon were daunting this night, Nera had been staring at my grave for the past 10 minutes, and in the meantime, I prepared myself for her. Her shoulder to cry. Nera murmured my name, ¡°Cielo¡± With a pause of seconds again she said ¡°Cielo¡±, I answered an immediate yes, the urgency in my voice was still not audible to her, after all, I was dead. Nera calls my name again and this time her fragile figure shakes lightly, the tears well in her eyes and they don¡¯t die on the brim instead, they cascade down; And she lets grief consume her. Nera brushes the dust off my tombstone, cold and heavy, she sobs my name, ¡°Cielo answer me, please.¡± A lone tear makes its way down. She bites her lips to suppress sobs, The hard heart I had grown in those 10 minutes shattered into pieces, my ear buzzing with her sobs and ringing of my breaking heart; dying was easier than this. I had died a thousand times if it promised me, I would not get to Nera ever like this, broken, so broken and I can''t mend her heart. I can¡¯t pick her up, touch her of sooth, wipe her tears, and pacify her of life. I wish I had died a better death, a more peaceful than this plight and I could only wish. ¡°Cielo¡± she murmured, her voice trembling as if the name itself would shatter her.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. ¡°Cielo, once please just once say ¡®I am here Nera¡¯ just once¡± My eyes tinged with tears, I am here Nera I am here. Every syllable left her with a stutter. She continued, ¡°Cielo, I won¡¯t get angry. I promise. There is not much time for anything. You are gone. They say you are gone, you¡­...you never promised me forever¡± She paused ¡°Does¡­no¡­... I should have asked you for forever? You¡¯d never deny it, Would you? Turns out it wasn¡¯t really for us.¡± Every word edges with grief, a sharp tone cutting down the silence to bleed as same to me. She was seething in anger, those adorning eyes were painted red. Her lips were bitten between teeth to keep in tone. I condemned all my sins, what was this tyranny of God for why? She was shaking and hitching with short breaths. She looked down, her hair falling on her face, hindering me from her. My trembling fingers tried to soothe her with a touch. There was no consolation for both of us. Tears streaming down her face on my grave. Until she murmured ¡°I¡­... I bought you flowers¡± Her heavy hands took the roses out of her coat and she put it down ¡°I wore your favorite dress too. How do I look? Good? Nice enough for you to come?¡± She softly voices ¡°No matter what I do¡­..Nothing will bring you back. You are so far away, gone. Cielo¡± she cried. I wail alone¡ªa slave of mortal anguish. Nera mutters ¡°You stopped my heart, Cielo¡± A cry leaves her with a stream of tears leaving an icy trail ¡°You are gone, and now I don¡¯t know a thing about love. You were all I knew about love and now¡± she huffs a breath to brace her ¡°and now, all my love is under six feet, rotten flesh, and brisk bones. You¡¯re¡­.no more. I miss you Cielo, I miss you all day.¡± She buried her face in her palm, I held on to her yet was deprived of a real touch. She cries and cries. She balances herself and hugs the headstones, cold. She rests her head on the cold headstone and weeps her love. I watch it all, all of it. My heart crumbles as a fist smashes it in my chest. Wails of pain punctured me. She breaks on my grave, she breaks. She burst into broken sobs and I die again. Nera shatters in front of me, sharp and indispensable. I bend down and my faded self hugs her. I hug Nera and she feels is my cold tombstone, warmth seeping out of her into nothing but chills. I cry and we cry. Slaves of mortal anguish, no consolation to seize. A crack of unfortunate fate. Her cries cease down to small soft breaths and she hugs my grave tighter; this time like a lover, she hugs me. I felt her and maybe she could feel me too and again I cried. A relief rush passes through me. She caressed it, held it like a lover, and whispered ¡°We are here now. Apart, in different worlds. I miss you Cielo¡± She wavered ¡°You can rest my love. I will manage, me, us, and our little daughter. Not a day in this world will go on without me reminding her how much you love her; you love her so much. How much you cried for her¡± My eyes and heart welled she resumed ¡°Life slipped out our fingers before we even had an idea to fist on it. We will meet again, right? In the endless galaxy? There is always an array of hope, wouldn¡¯t we have it too?¡± her voice cut ¡°If there is forever and I had to do it again; if the world ends tomorrow and rewinds, I will still love you all over again, a thousands hundreds times. All over again because¡­¡­. because you bury me. You bury me Cielo. Because I love you so I will hold on to everything good. I bury you, Cielo.¡± She mellows in the soft drizzle of rain. We are stringing logic that we like and life may hold us like lover¡¯s caresses as much as we believe, and we huffed the same breath. A whirl of the realm and we were served with this taste, yet destinies are written with the same hand. Solitude was all for me, it was a shame; a son, a lover, a husband, and a father, all I was now; memories and just a name. No one hears I am here. I am still, Here. In the drizzle, You and I, together just not together. I wanted time to rewind so I could hold you again and we could walk more and held again each other. She walked home. She went away. It was a whisper; she couldn¡¯t hear and I was still just one call away.