《A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps》


 Chapter 1

    <h1 ss="text-2xl font-bold mb-4 ">Rule 1- Always keep a spare tyre¡­ or maybe two.</h1>


    I scream as my car spins off the road, the world moving past me rmingly fast. I m my foot down on the brakes as I clutch the steering wheel with all my strength, yanking it to the side and trying to guide the out of control vehicle towards the empty stretch of grass by the side of the road. Amazingly, the cares to a stop directly in the middle of the grass stretch, well away from anything that could have caused a serious collision. In fact, to my surprise I find that I ampletely uninjured as I stiffly climb from the vehicle, adrenaline coursing through me. I take a few deep breaths to steady myself as I stand there for a moment staring at my car. At least it felt like a moment, but when I grab my phone from my pocket, I realise that I have been standing and staring for closer to fifteen minutes. I shake myself into action. It will be dark soon and I know better than to hang out alone on a poorly lit street after dark, I¡¯m not stupid. I have no idea what just happened. I was just driving home from work, singing along loudly to the radio when suddenly I lost control of my car and went flying off the road. It is a miracle that I wasn¡¯t hurt and that the ident wasn¡¯t way worse. I thank my lucky stars that there weren¡¯t any other cars on the road and that there had been an empty space to drive into. Really, it was quite fortunate as far as unfortunate events go. The cause of the ident is immediately obvious when I walk around and look over my car. My vehicle is a four-wheel drive, but a small one. It also happens to be painted sky blue and really it looks like it belongs in a cartoon rather than on the road, but I love it. The only visible issue with the car is the wheels. The front ones to be exact. Both of them are ruined. It is no wonder I had trouble controlling the vehicle. I can¡¯t believe I even managed to make it off the road safely!


    ¡°How on Earth did this happen?¡± I wonder aloud. I must have run over something, I conclude. Nothing else makes any sense as my tires had been in fairly good condition when I left work only twenty minutes earlier. A honking horn from another car shakes me from my thoughts. I turn to see an elderly man peering out the window of his car as he idles on the road.


    ¡°You okay there sweetheart? Did you need a hand?¡± he asks. I smile at him reassuringly. He doesn¡¯t give off creeper vibes and I consider myself to be a fairly decent judge of character.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine thank-you. Just a burst tire. My dad wille get me, don¡¯t worry about it.¡± After a little more back and forth and general pleasantries the gentleman drives away and I make my phone call. The phone rings repeatedly and for a moment I worry that my dad isn¡¯t going to answer, which would be a first. Dad never misses my phone calls, he is about as overprotective as a father can be, something that is only enabled by the fact that he is also the chief of police. There is a click as he answers my call.


    ¡°Hey Kitty Kat.¡± he says. I roll my eyes at the childish nickname, I think sometimes he forgets that I¡¯m an actual adult now. He still speaks to me like a toddler sometimes.


    ¡°Hi dad.¡± I respond easily, notmenting on the nickname. Okay, so maybe I am a little to me for indulging the pet names. I just feel like it might be sad if he were to stop. He¡¯s not always the most affectionate person and the pet names (along with his overprotectiveness) are probably one the main ways he shows that he cares. I don¡¯t want toin and risk hurting his feelings.


    ¡°Don¡¯t freak out, but I need your help. The tires on my car burst and I ran off the road. I¡¯m totally fine and my car didn¡¯t even hit anything. But can youe get me? I¡¯m just off the main road on that grass strip, you know the one. I¡¯m going to have to call a tow truck and get new tires and I don¡¯t want to be hanging here after dark.¡± I speak as calmly as I can manage, hoping to avoid sending my dad into a spiralling panic. I¡¯M trying not to panic. I really can¡¯t afford to fix my car so hopefully it is just the tyres. I have a bit of money set aside, but I¡¯m not rich, I mean hello, I work retail! I¡¯m rmed to hear swearing on the other end of the line.


    ¡°Um¡­ dad?¡± I question. It¡¯s not like I¡¯ve never heard him swear before, but thenguage isn¡¯t something my fathermonly uses, at least not around me.Text property ? N?vel(D)ra/ma.Org.


    ¡°Sorry Kat. I¡¯m on my way. This is just bad timing is all. I won¡¯t have time to drop you home, I have an important meeting, I¡¯ll have to take you with me.¡± he exins. Ooh, this sounds interesting. He doesn¡¯t usually have suchte night meetings. I want to know more, but I know my dad hates talking on the phone while driving so I figure it can wait a few minutes.


    ¡°That¡¯s fine dad. Thanks, I¡¯ll see you in a few.¡± With that done, I hang up the phone and go to sit in my car. Mostly so that I can turn on the engine and run the air conditioner. The sun is going down but it is still blisteringly warm since it is right in the middle of summer.


    Dad doesn¡¯t take long to arrive at all. I¡¯ve probably only been waiting about five minutes when his police car rolls up, sirens running. I have to fight the desire to roll my eyes at his dramatics as I climb out of the car.


    ¡°The sirens dad, really?¡±


    ¡°I told you I was in a hurry honey. Hop in, you can make your phone calls as we drive.¡± I jump into the front passenger seat and dad turns off the siren as he drives which is a relief because it is REALLY loud. He is quiet long enough for me to arrange a tow truck for my car but as soon as I¡¯m off the phone he starts speaking in a rush and I realise how tense he is.


    ¡°So this meeting, you¡¯ll have toe with me. I¡¯d leave you in the car but I don¡¯t know how long it will take.¡± he exins. I nod my agreement, not wanting to cause trouble since I¡¯m basically crashing his meeting. He sighs before he continues.


    ¡°You should probably know this meeting is quite important, sweetie. The mayor will be there and we are actually meeting with a fae.¡± He admits warily. My eyebrows shoot up to my hairline. Sure, us humans have known about the fae existing for about five years now since they identally stumbled their way into the human realm. Apparently some fae guy got super wasted or whatever the fae equivalent of it is and tried taking a portal home or something and somehow ended up in a totally different realm because apparently that is something that can happen. Not quite how they imagined revealing their existence to humans I bet! I don¡¯t know if they actually knew about us before the whole incident though.


    Still, aside from knowing that the fae actually exist, we don¡¯t know a lot about them. They mostly keep to themselves, not liking our busy and industrialised human realm. Us humans have no magic or any way to create a portal to visit the fae realm so thus far no one has visited as far as I know. I suppose a fae could take a human there but I don¡¯t think any have, or at least no one has admitted to it. No one that I believe that is. It¡¯s kind of an awkward situation and one where very little progress is being made between our two realms because honestly¡­ What can humans even do about it? Aside from the asional political meeting where the fae assured our politicians that they aren¡¯t nning on taking over the world or anything, there is really very little interaction between the fae and us. Theck of urate information doesn¡¯t stop the media from talking though.

 Chapter 2

    <h1 ss="text-2xl font-bold mb-4 ">Rule 2- Gossip is like glitter, it spreads fast, sticks forever and explodes in your face when you least expect it.</h1>


    There are a lot of split opinions about the fae. Half the world hates and fears them. They go on and make arguments about how they aren¡¯t human (duh?) and therefore they shouldn¡¯t be trusted. Like humans are so trustworthy¡­ The other half argue that they¡¯re still people and should be given equal rights and respect. I do suspect a lot of the people who support fae rights are just enamoured with the fae due to the fact that they are all jaw-droppingly GORGEOUS. Pictures of them spread through social media sites faster than some superstar¡¯s s*x scandal would. Books and movies about fae have suddenly be the trendy thing to enjoy, even though they¡¯re all entirely make believe because the authors don¡¯t actually KNOW anything about the fae. Personally, I¡¯m not all that interested in the fae, or at least I¡¯m not interested in all the hype surrounding them. Sure, I enjoy the eye-candy pictures and the asional bit of gossip, and sure, a good novel is a good novel. But I¡¯m not like those fangirls who obsessively collect photos of the fae, or the haters who want them gone. Truthfully, I haven¡¯t spent all that much time considering the topic. Why bother? It doesn¡¯t really affect me anyway. At least it hasn¡¯t until now. I might have to reconsider my view on the matter. I cringe as I realise how opposed my dad probably is to this meeting. He¡¯s basically of the opinion that the fae should just keep to themselves and stick to their own realm. He doesn¡¯t HATE them exactly, at least I don¡¯t think he does. But he doesn¡¯t know them or trust them and he figures that they managed to keep to themselves up until five years ago and everything was just fine so it would be best if things just stayed that way and everyone would be happy.


    I decide to keep my own opinions to myself as I respond to my dad. He would probably just be worried by myck of concern and lecture me about caution and safe behaviour.


    ¡°That¡¯s interesting. Do you know why you¡¯re meeting?¡± I ask, trying to show the appropriate amount of interest without seeming too nosy or overstepping. Dad shakes his head.Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org.


    ¡°No, but the message they sent requested that whoever is in charge ofw enforcement for the area be present, so it can hardly be good news can it? No one ever wants to meet with me about something good.¡± He sighs and I frown. That is actually a good point. Maybe he¡¯s right to be worried.


    ¡°Where is this meeting happening?¡± I ask and dad sighs again, even heavier.


    ¡°You know the creek just outside of town, the one where the fae first appeared? There. Apparently it¡¯s the ce the fae requested.¡± He responds. Everyone knows the creek where the drunk fae first turned up. At first everyone thought it was a hoax, but there had been some kids birthday party there that day and about a dozen people caught the incident on camera right as the six year old was blowing out their candles. Even so, they might have managed to cover up the first fae¡¯s presence if more didn¡¯t show up to take him home and attempt to badly apologise for the chaos. Either way, the ce was now very well known. I¡¯m pretty sure the city had to make it off limits for a while because it was so crowded with fans, conspiracy nuts and protesters and there were tons of fights. Dad was dealing with issues there practically every day! I nod again and spend the remainder of the trip texting my best friend Lucy, updating her on the car trouble. I do mention to her that I am going to a meeting with her dad but don¡¯t give more details than that. I love Lucy dearly, but she IS one of those obsessive fae fan-girls and would definitely make a big deal out of it and tell just about everyone. I am pretty sure that her dad wouldn¡¯t like that, and it seems unlikely that this fae person would be keen on a bunch of paparazzi showing up to the meeting. Or worse a group of crazed fan-girls.


    I drop the visor in the car to check my reflection in the little mirror there as dad parks the car. My blue eyes are wide and bright, still shaken from my near ident. I AM a little pale, but I¡¯m usually pale so it doesn¡¯t seem too unusual. My hair is kind of messy but nothing too bad. It is naturally blonde but I have it dyed a mix up of bright blue colours that match my eyes and make them stand out even more than they do naturally. It has loose waves and falls down to a few inches below my shoulder des. My work clothes consist of ck pants and a hideous bright red shirt that shes awfully with my hair. Thankfully, due to the hot weather, I swapped the dreaded, scratchy shirt out for a simple purple tank top before leaving the department store where I work. ck shoes finish the look, an oddbination of formal and informal clothing. Overall I deem myself rtively presentable, if a little under-dressed for a super important meeting with a fae and the mayor. I do offer to wait in the car but dad won¡¯t hear of it. He clearly doesn¡¯t trust the fae and wants to keep me where he can see me, although he argues that I¡¯ming because it is too hot to stay in the car. I don¡¯t argue, I¡¯d rather be at the meeting than sit around in the car anyway. We both climb out the car and head over to the creek where the mayor and two men wearing dark suits wait. I hope I didn¡¯t make dadte. It¡¯s not a good sign that the mayor beat us here. They have set up one of those dimmablenterns and ced it on the hood of a fancy looking car which I am assuming belongs to the mayor who probably doesn¡¯t have to worry about the cost of recing his car tyres. As we approach, dad immediately goes to speak with the mayor, mostly to exin the presence of his daughter at this all important meeting.


    I hear a sshing sound in the creek and I wander down a little ways to investigate. I¡¯m kind of hoping there might be some animal out for a drink or to cool off in the water. Basically anything would be more interesting than listening to middle aged men have a meeting ABOUT a meeting. This was probably a poor decision on my part as thentern doesn¡¯t provide all that much light and I¡¯m only a few steps away from the light when I find myself stumbling and falling head first towards the creek bed. I mentally prepare myself for a thorough soaking and probably a few ufortable aches and bruises when suddenly a strong arm slips around her waist and catches me.


    ¡°Thanks I-¡± I freeze when I turn my head to my rescuer and realise that the man who caught me wasn¡¯t her dad or one of the bodyguard type men as I had expected, nor was it the mayor which would have been a surprise in itself. Instead I am face to face with a ridiculously gorgeous man who, oddly enough, isn¡¯t wearing a shirt.

 Chapter 3

    <h1 ss="text-2xl font-bold mb-4 ">Rule 3- Life¡¯s a costume party; the prize? A killer first impression.</h1>


    In fact, not only is he not wearing a shirt, the man is ONLY wearing a pair of odd looking leather trousers. He doesn¡¯t even have shoes! Although I can see a gold chain catching the light from around his neck. It has some kind of pendant made of a ck stone attached to it. He has raven ck hair which is just long enough to fall in his face slightly and he seems to be quite tall. I have to crane my neck to see his face. I can¡¯t tell what colour his eyes are in the dark, but even in the poor lighting I ampletely sure this is the most perfect looking man I have ever seen in my entire life. This HAS to be the fae we came to meet. He immediately releases me, steadying me back onto my feet before he steps back. I ignore the heat in my face and start my sentence over.


    ¡°Thanks, I really didn¡¯t feel like going for a dip in the creek.¡± The fae man nods and shes me a polite smile.


    ¡°You are wee.¡± My first thought is that his voice is as delicious as my favourite chocte. I shake the thought from my head, delicious maybe, but probably just as bad for my health. I open my mouth to speak again, but I am interrupted by the mayor who has finally noticed the fae. The mayor speaks in a stern tone which contrasts greatly with the friendly tone that he used to greet my father upon our arrival. Not a good sign for the uing meeting.


    ¡°Hello, allow me to introduce myself. I am mayor Kennith Simmons and this here is Police Chief Darren Fall. It seems you have already met his daughter Katerina Fall.¡± The fae man shes a quick smile and I guess it is probably because of myst name and the fact that he just rescued me from a fall. I have to actively work not to make a silly face at the fae and I remind myself that this meeting is meant to be professional. Although the hot shirtless guy is definitely a fun surprise. The Mayor continues, unaware of the joke.


    ¡°She had a spot of car trouble on her way home, it seems Chief Fall had no option but to bring her along. I hope you don¡¯t mind.¡± As he speaks he holds out his right hand for the fae man to shake. The fae takes it with the wrong hand and shakes it once, awkwardly. The motion seems ufortable for him, sort of awkward like he has never done it before. I suppose that it is entirely possible that he hasn¡¯t. Do fae usually shake hands? I wonder. After that is done, my dad rather reluctantly takes his turn and shakes the fae man¡¯s hand. He reaches out and grabs the fae¡¯s right hand, correcting the gesture. I feel like there was probably a less weird way to do that.Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org.


    ¡°I am called Ashton Rallowend.¡± The fae man states inly. Mayor Simmons leads the group back towards the light of thentern where we can see better. There is an awkward silence as Mayor Simmons and my dad take in the half-dressed fae. I notice that they seem less than impressed. Unsurprising considering that dad is in his full formal uniform and the mayor is probably in his best suit. Even his greying hair isbed neatly out of his face. The two of them are probably melting from the heat. I am not really aware of the Mayor¡¯s attitude towards the fae. He probably put out a public statement at some point that is all politically correct and doesn¡¯t offend anyone but that doesn¡¯t mean he really believes it. I do know however that my dad would not be pleased. He has rather traditional beliefs in most cases and is quite fond of formalities which this fae clearly does not adhere to, probably because he doesn¡¯t know them. As for myself, I suddenly feel a lot less self conscious of my mostly casual outfit. The fae man speaks again, drawing my attention back to the conversation.


    ¡°I will speak inly. There is a problem in the fae realm which will affect you here. Our King has been murdered. The criminals responsible for the crime have escaped into your realm and are hiding here. There are three of them. I am here to capture them and return them for sentencing or to execute them myself if that cannot be aplished. I requested yourw enforcement be here as I may require their assistance. I will also require a guide to assist me as I am not familiar with this realm. I believe it should be obvious that it is unwise to allow these fae criminals to run amok in your realm as they have the magic required to do a considerable amount of damage should they remain unchecked.¡± Woah, that was a lot to take in. I think we all might need a second to process that one. I didn¡¯t even know the fae HAD royalty. I guess they work on a monarchy system then?


    The fae man, Ashton he had said his name was, gave his exnation in a serious tone, he keeps his face straight, although the tension in his shoulders tells me that he is super tense and probably not nearly as emotionless as he is presenting himself. Oddly, I also notice that Ashton is squinting. He kept his gaze focused intently on the Mayor and my dad as he spoke, but he seems super ufortable. As soon as he finished giving his exnation, he averted his eyes and turned his face slightly to the side. I watch him curiously as I tried to figure out his strange movements. After a moment I realised he is turning away from the electrtern. As the Mayor, her father and Ashton begin discussing the details of the escaped criminals as well as what Ashton will need to hunt them down, I take the chance to edge over towards thentern and turn the little down dial to dim the light slightly. Mayor Simmons looks over at me, confused by my actions and my dad seems irritated. Maybe I should have asked¡­ Ashton the fae however, smiles at me gratefully.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± hements. I nod and return his smile, d I interpreted his actions correctly.


    ¡°You¡¯re wee.¡± I respond. The Mayor looks back and forth between us, confused. Ashton exins for me before either of them can ask.


    ¡°Miss Fall seems to have observed my difort with your light. It is amon side effect of travelling long distances in portals. It will fade in a few hours. That is why I requested we meet in the evening rather than in the daylight hours.¡± The fae exins, shing me another stunning smile.


    ¡°Yes, well¡­ alright.¡± Mayor Simmons nods. I¡¯m starting to think that the man is ufortable around the fae, although he is doing an admirable job of hiding it. My dad steps in and rescues him from his awkwardness.


    ¡°So, what ites down to is that you will need a full time guide as well as somewhere to stay as you are unustomed to our realm and, at least at first, will have difficulty navigating it without causing trouble. It would also be useful if this guide was someone that myself or Mayor Simmons know well enough to trust.¡± he sums up. The fae nods his eptance. While it is perfectly logical that a fae travelling the human realm for the first time would need a trusted guide, truthfully, I bet the real reason for that particr addition is that the Mayor and my dad actually want someone loyal enough to them to report the fae¡¯s behaviour and spy on him. Which is fair I suppose but probably not the best way to build trust. Besides, he¡¯s one guy. How much damage could he do?

 Chapter 4

    <h1 ss="text-2xl font-bold mb-4 ">Rule 4- Trying to keep everyone happy is like juggling marshmallows. It¡¯s pointless, challenging and inevitably makes a mess.</h1>


    ¡°Ideally, we would find a guide whom you could stay with for a while or who could stay with me, as they will need to be avable to me twenty-four-seven,¡± the Mayor adds. I frown. I consider the statement and what could be confusing him. After a moment, I decide it has to be a phrase that wasn¡¯t familiar to him. As he hadn¡¯t frowned until the Mayor stopped speaking, I figure it was the final statement ¡®twenty-four-seven¡¯. Not wanting to be too obvious in case I¡¯m wrong, I decide to try and subtly exin the meaning. Hopefully I¡¯m not making a total fool of myself.


    ¡°So he needs a guide who can be around twenty-four hours a day seven days a week,¡± I sum up, inserting myself into the conversation. Ashton smiles at me again, and I figure I must have guessed correctly. Go me! Mayor Simmons continues on, oblivious to the subtle interactions between Ashton and I.


    ¡°Yes, exactly. It may take a few hours to find someone appropriate. Most people will have gone home for the day already, and it will have to be someone with a level head who will be able to predict your needs somewhat as you get your bearings.¡± Ashton nods his agreement, and his eyes brighten as an idea hits him.Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org.


    ¡°I understand. Actually, I would like to request Miss Fall as my guide,¡± he states firmly. I freeze in shock. He wants MY help? The Mayor stares and we¡¯re all struck dumb for a moment. My father is the first to speak.


    ¡°Absolutely not,¡± he deres, almost aggressively. Ashton frowns.


    ¡°Why not?¡± he asks, his tone a challenge. My father won¡¯t appreciate that.


    ¡°She¡¯s practically a child. It wouldn¡¯t be right,¡± Dad grumbles out. Ashton pushes his hair back from his face and looks me up and down in a way that makes me want to hide my face.


    ¡°Truly? How old are you, Miss Fall? You certainly don¡¯t look like a child to me,¡± he adds. I blush scarlet. What does he think I look like?


    ¡°I¡¯m twenty-one,¡± I respond, trying to avoid his gaze. Ashton smiles at me.


    ¡°Mayor Simmons. What age must a human be in order to be considered an adult in this realm?¡± Ashton questions. The Mayor stutters his answer, hisposure shaken. There is something verymanding in the fae¡¯s demeanour. It is hard to argue with him when he speaks in such an authoritative manner.


    ¡°E- eighteen, Mr. Rallowend,¡± the mayor replies shakily.


    ¡°Eighteen? That¡¯s odd; fae are considered adults as soon as they reach the age of sixteen. Regardless, Miss Fall is certainly not a child. So again I ask, why can¡¯t she be my guide?¡± he repeats. My father tries again.


    ¡°She¡¯s hardly qualified¡­¡± my father begins, but Ashton interrupts, not letting him finish his argument.


    ¡°We did not deem any specific qualification necessary for my guide. Just a level head and the ability to predict my needs and assist me. Miss Fall has already disyed these qualities to me. In fact, she has assisted me multiple times since my arrival, not just with the light but also by rifying your words.¡± Ashton shoots me another smile. My father speaks again.


    ¡°But I-¡± he is interrupted by Mayor Simmons.


    ¡°I see no reason why Miss Fall can¡¯t be your guide. That is as long as she agrees to the job,¡± he adds. Ashton turns to me and holds out a hand. I stare at him for a moment confused, until he reaches down and picks up my hand. He bends over it in a sort of half-bow before returning to an upright position, although he does not release my hand.


    ¡°Miss Fall, I would like to formally request your assistance as my guide until I can capture the fae criminals. I will ensure that you arepensated well for your time, and I give my word that should you ept, I will ensure your safety for the duration of my stay. If you will ept, you will have my gratitude, and the fae realm will owe you a favour in the future.¡± He concludes. I stare at the fae. I can see the Mayor eagerly nodding his encouragement on my left. On my right, my father frowns at me. He isn¡¯t pleased with the situation, but he can¡¯t continue to openly argue with the mayor, so he keeps his mouth shut. I decide to stall while I make my decision.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure. I mean, I already have a job. I can¡¯t just skip work¡­¡± I trail off. The mayor intervenes.


    ¡°I will ensure that you are given leave from work and that you do not experience any negative consequences because of your absence,¡± he promises. I chew my bottom lip. I don¡¯t miss the way Ashton¡¯s eyes drop to my mouth, taking in the sign of my anxiety, although they immediately dart back up to my eyes.


    ¡°I suppose I could be your guide. Although I absolutely have to go to work tomorrow. I agreed to work the shift as a favour to a coworker whose daughter is sick and needs to be taken to a doctor¡¯s appointment tomorrow. It would be very rude of me to cancel, and I know there is no one else to do it. Besides, I promised to cover the shift, and I don¡¯t want to break my word,¡± I exin. Ashton nods at me.


    ¡°That is eptable. If you have no objections, I will apany you to your work. I will need to learn about this realm somewhat before I am able to properly search for the escaped criminals. Apanying you as you go about your day should offer some insight,¡± he exins. I hesitate.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure that it¡¯s appropriate for you to hang around at my work. I mean, it¡¯s a store, so it¡¯s not like there¡¯s a rule against it or anything. But you are definitely going to attract attention. I guess I am only doing a quick five-hour shift so it wouldn¡¯t be too bad. It might be boring for you though,¡± I add. Ashton shrugs.


    ¡°This entire realm is a mystery to me. I am sure that there will be plenty for me to observe,¡± hements.


    ¡°Does this mean you will agree to be my guide?¡± he asks for rification. He is still holding my hand, and I am feeling more than a little ufortable. I hesitate for a moment, and you could probably cut the tension in the air with a knife. It is so thick. I can practically feel my dad willing me to refuse, and the mayor willing me to ept. No matter what I choose, someone will be disappointed. So I decide to just do what I want to do.


    ¡°Yes,¡± I answer, my voice quiet. Ashton grins at me, pleased. He bows over my hand once more and presses his lips lightly to the back of my knuckles before releasing it back to me. I blush and avoid his eyes, allowing my blue hair to fall across my face. Ashton seems to be doing his best to catch my gaze. I wonder how old the fae is. He doesn¡¯t seem like he is much older than I am. I would definitely ce him in his early twenties. While I am turning my head to avoid the stare of the handsome fae, hoping my thoughts aren¡¯t showing on my face, my father takes the chance to catch my attention and frowns his disapproval.

 Chapter 5

    <h1 ss="text-2xl font-bold mb-4 ">Rule 5- Don¡¯t be embarrassed about dropping your phone. You¡¯re not clumsy, you just conducted a random gravity test and it still works!</h1>


    ¡°Are you sure about this, sweetheart? Do you really want to be a guide for this fae? You realise this will mean he will be staying at our house with us?¡± dad reminds me. Ashton takes the chance to speak.All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I will make certain that no harmes to her. Miss Fall will be perfectly safe,¡± He informs him, earning another smile from me. My dad tries again, not ready to give up yet.


    ¡°Are you sure it¡¯s really appropriate though, Kat? You wouldn¡¯t want any strange stories to spread about you¡­¡± dad trails off. I shoot my father a stare that says ¡®really¡¯.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be ridiculous, Dad; that¡¯s an incredibly old-fashioned view. Besides, you live there too, it¡¯s not like it¡¯s just me,¡± Ashton listens to our conversation and seems very confused.


    ¡°Why would my presence be inappropriate?¡± he questions. My dad falls silent, probably trying to think of an answer that isn¡¯t super insulting. Ashton turns to me for an answer. I roll my eyes at my dad before responding.


    ¡°Dad was expressing his concern about having a strange man staying in close proximity to me; he can be rather overprotective of me,¡± I exin. Ashton¡¯s expression darkens as he turns on my father.


    ¡°You mean to imply that I would behave dishonourably towards your daughter?¡± The words are a question, but his tone makes it clear that he is angry. My father pales but holds firm.


    ¡°With all due respect, Mr. Rallowend, but I know next to nothing about you. Forgive me if I am protective of my only daughter. What kind of father would I be if I wasn¡¯t concerned about her?¡± he argues. Ashton opens his mouth, intent on arguing back when I sigh and interrupt.


    ¡°This entire discussion is really a moot point. I have already made my decision, and as we have already concluded that I am, in fact, an adult, it is my choice. I have decided to trust Mr. Rallowend unless he gives me reason not to. So, Dad, unless you are nning to refuse him entry and force us to go stay in a hotel somewhere, he will be staying with us.¡± Ashton looks smug, and my father res at him. If looks could kill, Ashton would be six feet under, and my dad would be enjoying a pic on his grave. There is a lingering silence whichsts several moments longer than I amfortable with. I am about to break it when my dad¡¯s phone rings shrilly. He grabs the phone from his pocket and nces at the screen.


    ¡°It¡¯s work. Just a moment,¡± he takes a few steps away from us and angles himself away from Ashton, me, and Mayor Simmons like that will somehow make it harder for us to eavesdrop on his conversation.


    ¡°If you¡¯ll excuse me.¡± The Mayor takes a few steps away to make a phone call of his own leaving me with Ashton and the two quiet bodyguard guys hovering over us. I decide to basically ignore them. I note the tension gathering in my dad¡¯s shoulders. I knew it would not be good news, dad wasn¡¯t wrong when he said most of his calls are bad news. An upational hazard I suppose.


    My observations are interrupted by Ashton.


    ¡°What are they?¡± he asks. I consider for a moment before realising that he is referring to the phones.


    ¡°They¡¯re called phones. We use them to speak to people who are far away,¡± I inform him, pulling my own phone with its turquoise case from my pocket and handing it to him. The curious fae takes it, holding it carefully like he expects it to attack him. He is also holding it upside down. I reach over, slip the device from his fingers, and flip it right side up. Ashton jumps and fumbles with the device when the motion makes the screen lit up. It asks for a password, and Ashton hands it back to me, squinting against the light again.


    ¡°Why would it need a password?¡± he questions.


    ¡°Phones can be expensive; a password deters some thieves. Lots of people also keep personal or sensitive information on their phones that they don¡¯t want easily essible. Your phone number, which is a sequence of numbers used to identify and call a specific person¡¯s phone, is usually private information that you only share with select people in order to avoid being pestered by strangers or people you don¡¯t like,¡± I exin. Ashton seems fascinated.


    ¡°You said a phone can be expensive, how expensive?¡± he asks. I shrug.


    ¡°It depends on the type of phone. This one was about nine hundred dors,¡± I inform him. Ashton pauses.


    ¡°I am not sure of the value of your dors. Perhaps you could tell me theparative value of something that I would recognize?¡± he requests. This might be harder to exin than I thought.


    ¡°Sure, what should Ipare it to?¡± I answer. I don¡¯t know what he might find familiar.


    ¡°Perhaps the value of a meal?¡± he suggests. I consider a moment.


    ¡°Well, it would depend on the type and quality of the meal. But for a rtively good quality meal that was prepared by a professional rather than by yourself at home, it would be maybe twenty-five dors,¡± I estimate. Ashton thinks over my exnation.


    ¡°So a phone, or at least this one, would beparable in value to something simr to the evening meal for a month if you were to pay a professional?¡± he concludes. I nod.


    ¡°Yep, that sounds about right.¡±


    ¡°And that is considered arge amount of money here?¡± he continues his questioning. I shrug.


    ¡°To some people. Mayor Simmons over there would likely barely notice the cost; he also probably has more than one phone. For me, it is a lot more significant since I earn a lot less money than he does. I work full-time hours, but this phone would probably cost¡­ hmm, about a quarter of my monthly ie. Maybe more. There is also an ongoing fee of about sixty dors a month to maintain the connection that lets you contact other people,¡± I try to exin the technicalities of owning a phone. Ashton nods. He seemspletely fascinated by my exnations of things that I usually take for granted. It is kind of fun having his undivided attention.


    ¡°I understand.¡± Ashton looks thoughtful and annoyingly attractive as he runs a hand through his dark hair. So fast it practically gives me whish, he swaps to a new topic.


    ¡°Your Mayor Simmons mentioned that your presence here is due to car trouble. What does that mean?¡± he asks. I sigh in annoyance.


    ¡°It means that my car stopped working. A car is what we use to get from ce to ce.¡± I respond.


    ¡°A car is a type of animal or horse then?¡± Ashton states and Iugh.


    ¡°No, a car isn¡¯t a living thing. It is something built by humans.¡± I point out Mayor Simmon¡¯s fancy ck car which is parked a little way away and is still serving as a table for thentern.


    ¡°We don¡¯t really ride horses here, except for maybe a few wealthy people who ride for fun or some farmers out in the country areas. Cars are even more expensive than phones but they really are necessary to get around. Although there is always the bus I suppose. A bus is like a car but dozens of people can ride it at once where most cars can only fit about five people at a time.¡± I add. Ashton listens with wide eyes.

 A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan Chapter 6

    <b>Rule </b><b>6- </b>Never assume <b>things </b><b>are </b><b>obvious</b><b>, </b><b>unless </b><b>you </b><b>prefer </b><b>to revel </b><b>in </b><b>the </b><b>confusion </b><b>of </b><b>assumed</b>


    <b>understanding</b><b>.</b>


    ¡°<b>So </b><b>you </b>had trouble with your car?¡± Ashton seems concerned. I nod.


    <b>¡°</b>Yep, the wheels on my car got damaged making it impossible to use. I was stranded on the side of the road and had to call my


    dad toe and get me since I didn¡¯t want to be out alone after dark. Dad didn¡¯t want to bete getting here so he didn¡¯t have time to take me home beforeing to this meeting. So here I am.¡± Ashton nods his understanding.


    ¡°I am d you came to this meeting, Miss Fall.¡± He says sweetly and I kind of want to pass out. I don¡¯t remember thest time a guy paid so much attention to what I have to say and genuinely seemed interested, although I know it has less to do with me than it does with his general unfamiliarity with my realm. I smile at him awkwardly, again ducking my gaze and allowing my hair to fall over my face a little.


    I nce over at my dad and the Mayor who have finished their respective phone calls and are


    speaking animatedly to each other. My dad seems particrly agitated and is beginning to


    raise his voice.


    ¡°FINE!¡± he turns back to face Ashton and me and stomps closer in an angry movement.


    ¡°There <b>has </b>been an issue at work and I have to go sort it out. The Mayor has offered to drive


    will the two of you back to our ce and will inform you of any further information you need.¡± Everyone nods their agreement. My dad jerks his head to the side as his way of ¡®subtly¡® asking for a private word. We take a few steps away and my dad turns us so that he faces away from the group. He¡¯s probably paranoid that Ashton might try to read his lips or something<b>. </b>Over dads shoulder I can see Ashton looking curiously at the Mayor¡¯s car.


    ¡°Kat<b>, </b>are you sure you want to do this? You can still bail if you want, no one will me you, in fact I would prefer it.¡± My dad blurts out. I nce over my dad¡¯s shoulder again at the fae. Ashton is still examining the car but his expression seems more severe and less curious. Something is bothering him.


    Emergency calls only


    Rule 6- Never assume things are obvious, unless you prefer to revel in the confusion..


    ¡°I already said I would do it dad, and I meant it. I have no reason not to help, and it might be interesting.¡± Ashton nces over towards the two of us, he no longer looks annoyed but instead a smug looking smirk shes across his face. I begin to wonder if he can hear our conversation. After arguing back and forth with my dad for a minute or two, he finally concedes to my argument when more messages start shing across the screen of his phone demanding his presence immediately. I feel a bit like a five year old as my dad hugs me tight.


    ¡°You have your house keys right honey?¡± he asks. I roll my eyes.


    ¡°You¡¯re the one who loses keys dad, not me.¡± I point out. I swear he has turned up at my work at least a dozen times to borrow my keys. He¡¯s probably just asking because it¡¯s the problem he faces most often. I¡¯m tempted to ask if he has HIS keys. He ignores myment and keeps going with his interrogation.


    ¡°And you¡¯ll keep your phone on you?¡± he checks. This time I am getting a little annoyed. Is he


    ape<b>. </b>I actually serious? Aside from the fact that I am twenty¨Cone and like most people my age, keep my phone basically glued to my side, he called ME on it earlier. I am literally holding it in my hand right now. I know he is asking because he is concerned about Ashton and because he¡¯s trying to dy leaving. I¡¯ve changed my mind, I¡¯m not just annoyed, I¡¯m a little angry. Does he have so little faith in my judgement? I cross my arms over my chest and stare him.


    down.


    ¡°Stop it, I already told you there won¡¯t be a problem. Who would I call if there was anyway? The guy is fae, he can probably take all of you.¡± My dad flushes red. I¡¯m not sure if it is due to embarrassment or anger but I don¡¯t really care.Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org.


    ¡°You can go now dad. I¡¯ll see you when you get home.¡± I say pointedly.


    With onest nce at Ashton, my dad finally turns and stalks back to his car. Ashton flinches when the engine starts with a loud grumble. I quickly gesture for him to turn around, touching his shoulder to push him in the right direction and to make sure he moves. Ashton. turns without asking


    Why. He is just quick enough to evade the sh of the car headlights turning on. They are bright enough to make me see stars, I don¡¯t want to imagine how awful it would feel for someone with light sensitivity. My dad drives away and Ashton turns back<b>, </b>yet again his expression is grateful and he thanks <b>me</b><b>.</b>


    Rule 6- Never assume things are obvious, unless you prefer to revel in the confusion¡­


    climb into the back, sliding into the middle seat and gesture for Ashton to follow. The other guard sits on my other side. I show Ashton how to close the door and give a quick exnation on how to put on a seatbelt and its general purpose.


    ¡°It¡¯s just in case we get into an ident or something bad happens. It¡¯s a safety precaution.¡± Ashton presses the button at least three times before leaving it plugged in. He seems pretty excited by the experience, at least he does until the car starts moving. Then <b>he </b>seems more nervous. I lean forward to give the driver my address and we are on our way. Ashton seems ufortable in the vehicle to begin with, he keeps ncing sideways at me<b>, </b><b>as </b>if reassuring himself that everything really is alright. I smile to show everything is fine and he begins to rx. I notice that as he rxes, Ashton begins looking out the window. There isn¡¯t exactly a lot to see at night, but Ashton seems entertained by it all nheless. It doesn¡¯t take long to reach my home in thete night traffic and soon we are pulling into my driveway. I reach over Ashton to show him how to open the car door. He struggles with the seat belt for a moment but it doesn¡¯t take him long to remember the button I pointed out during my earlier. exnation. The Mayor clears his throat to gain our attention.


    ¡°Miss Fall, if I might have a quick word?¡± he climbs out the car and gestures for me to follow. I scramble out of my seat and with a quick shrug in Ashton¡¯s direction, I allow myself to be led away. The moment we are what the Mayor deems far enough away, he turns and hands me a card.


    ¡°Please text this number if anything¡­ important or interesting should arise. It would be in your best interests to keep me updated on the situation with Mr Rallowend.¡± So he wants me to spy on Ashton. I conclude to myself. I nce over towards Ashton who looks rather amused. More evidence to support my theory that his hearing is much better than the average human.


    ¡°I¡¯ll text if I think there is anything you should know.¡± I respond. The Mayor doesn¡¯t notice how I dodge his request. I have no intention of spying on Ashton for him. I have agreed to work as a guide, not a spy, but the Mayor doesn¡¯t need to know that. Plus Ashton is the one who hired me, so I am not required to tell the Mayor anything. I move to stand by Ashton as the Mavor climbs back into the car and they drive away leaving us in the quiet street.

 A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan Chapter 7

    <b>Rule </b><b>7- </b><b>Avoid </b><b>losing </b><b>your </b><b>keys </b><b>by </b><b>attaching </b><b>them </b><b>to </b>a <b>helium </b><b>balloon</b><b>. </b><b>You </b><b>won¡¯t </b><b>lose </b><b>them</b><b>; </b><b>they¡¯ll </b><b>just </b><b>be </b><b>inconveniently </b><b>floating near </b><b>the </b><b>ceiling</b><b>!</b>


    The moment the car is out of sight, I lose control of myself and beginughing. The entire situation with the Mayor was just ridiculous and felt like something out of a bad movie. Ashton stares at me curiously. Between breaths I manage to force some words out.


    ¡°Please, do me a favour and do somethingpletely oundish at some point so I have an excuse to send a ridiculous report to the Mayor. I don¡¯t actually n to tell him anything he wants to know, but it could be really funny.¡± A look of surprise runs across Ashton¡¯s face.


    ¡°You admit that your Mayor Simmons asked you to report my actions to him?¡± He questions.


    I rolled my eyes.


    ¡°Duh, it¡¯s a pretty obvious request. I¡¯m not stupid enough to think you didn¡¯t see iting. Besides, I¡¯m fairly sure that you could hear everything he said to me anyway.¡± I raise an eyebrow and look at Ashton expectantly. It is sort of hard to see his reactions in the dim light provided by the streetlight a few houses down, but I do my best.


    ¡°You are correct in your judgement. I do wonder how it is that you know I heard you.¡± He tilts his head to the side, eying me curiously. I shrug.


    ¡°I noticed you reacting when my dad was talking to me and kept an eye on you after that.¡± I exin. Ashton gives me an impressed smile.


    ¡°I was right, you are very observant.¡± hements. He seems pleased. I shrug again and lead the way to the front door. I unlock it with the house keys I DEFINITELY HAVE and it swings open. I am about to reach for the light switch in the entryway but I pause, hesitating.


    ¡°How are your eyes? Are they any better?¡± I check.


    ¡°They are still quite sensitive.¡± Ashton admits.


    ¡°I believe that they should bepletely adjusted by morning.¡± He concludes I nod my


    MUIL


    understanding.


    ¡°Okay, just wait here a moment then.¡± Leaving the entryway light off, I run one hand along the wall in the darkness until Ie to the kitchen where I turn on the light. I also switch on the light in my dad¡¯s study. The result is that the house is lit just enough to see where you are walking, as long as you stay out of those two rooms.


    ¡°Come in. The main living area is just through here. We can sit and I will sort out something to eat. There should be enough light for you to get through without tripping over anything, but be careful.¡± Even in the dim light, I can see the look of approval on Ashton¡¯s face.


    ¡°You are very considerate.¡± Hements. I smile at him over my shoulder and show him where the couch is for him to sit. The living room is still a little too dark, so I light a scented candle that I keep on the coffee table. I love them but I only really use them in my room or when dad isn¡¯t home because he says they give him a headache. This particr candle is barely used and honestly I mostly keep it out here for decorative purposes. I nce at Ashton, searching for any sign that the light is too bright again, but he seemsfortable enough in the dim flickering light. Now that I can see better, I find I am actively working on not staring at Ashton. He is still not wearing a shirt and the guy looks like he could be an underwear model. I shake the idea from my head. This is not the time to let my brain turn to mush. I promised food. It iste enough that I don¡¯t really feel like cooking, so I decide that we should just order take¨Cout.


    ¡°Is there anything you don¡¯t eat?¡± Ashton tilts his head to the side, a little confused.


    ¡°Foods that make you ill or that you don¡¯t like to eat.¡± I rify.


    ¡°Ah, I understand. No, there is nothing that I cannot eat, although I must confess I am not fond of most varieties of seafood.¡± I nod, I don¡¯t love seafood either.


    ¡°No sushi, got it. Maybe Indian food then. <b>I¡¯ll </b>order something really basic since you won¡¯t know the menu. Just a moment.¡± I pull out my phone and dial my favourite Indian restaurant. They recognize my number; my dad works a lot ofte shifts and neither of us are fond of cooking, although I do like to bake on asion. Ashton watches me dial the number curiously.


    ¡ª¡ª- haar the <b>call </b>too. The person on the other end


    will be able to hear you as well.¡± I warn him. Ashton nod excitedly. He jumps when the phone is answered <b>and </b><b>stares </b>at the device<b>, </b>keepingpletely silent as I order our dinner. I pay over the phone using my credit card, and Ashton seems baffled by something<b>.</b>


    ¡°What were all those numbers for?¡± he asks as soon as I hang up the phone and nod to let him know that he can safely talk again.


    ¡°They were my credit card numbers. Most adults have a bank ount. A bank keeps track of


    how much money you have. The numbers on a credit card represent your ount, and if you have the rightbination of numbers and the passcodes, you can send money from your ount to someone else¡¯s. That¡¯s what I just did to pay for dinner.¡± Ashton looks even more


    confused than when I started. I don¡¯t think that was a very good exnation on my part.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it too much. You don¡¯t have a bank ount, so there is nothing to be concerned about. I can take care of the money stuff. It¡¯s just a system we set up <b>so </b>that we don¡¯t have to physically carry bags of money around everywhere. Basically the banks keep track of what we have and we use the numbers to identify our ounts and to tell them, when money needs to be exchanged.¡± I think I might be making this worse. Ugh.


    ¡°I will make sure that you are properlypensated.¡± Ashton promises. I shrug.


    ¡°I¡¯m not too worried; tonight is my treat. Oh, that means I will pay for you.¡± I rify.


    ¡°Before arriving here, I believed that I understood your Englishnguage Miss Fall. After only. a few minutes here, it quickly became apparent that this is not truly the case.¡± Ashtonughs, and I can¡¯t help but join in.


    ¡°Whatnguage do you speak at home? And where did you learn English? Also, you can just


    call me Kat.¡±


    ¡°We speak Faerie. I believe it is most simr to humans¡® Gaelguage. I was spelled before I came here to know your localnguage, but many of the nuances seem to escape me.¡± He responds without even thinking, then the rest of my words catch up to him, and Ashton looks absolutely horrified.


    ¡®I could not possibly call you by your given name. I do not believe that we know each other well enough to be so free with our names. It would be terribly inappropriate of me to be so


    casual to call you so without any kind of title.¡± I stare. For a guy who is sitting on my couch half naked, this is a weird thing for him to worry over. At least weird by human standards.


    nan


    ¡°Most people here only use titles in formal settings, and generally anything more than an acquaintance will use your first name.¡± I pause.


    ¡°And it seems kind of odd to me that you think using my name is inappropriate but are content to walk around without a shirt on.¡± I can¡¯t repress a small giggle. Ashton frowns.Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org.

 A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan Chapter 8

    <b>Rule </b><b>8- </b><b>Embrace </b><b>context</b><b>, </b><b>it¡¯s </b>the <b>punchline </b>of


    .</b>


    ¡°Is there something about my appearance that offends or displeases you?¡± Well now I¡¯ve gone and done it. I can¡¯t help but blush. I have to fight to keep from drooling over the guy, and he is worried that his appearance might offend me? The entire idea isughable.


    ¡°No, no, it¡¯s nothing like that. It is just kind of an expectation here that pretty much everyone wears <b>a </b>shirt of some kind. It is considered terribly casual to go without; in a woman¡¯s case, it is considered indecent.¡± Ashton seems surprised. What do they normally wear?


    ¡°Even in this warm weather?¡± he questions.


    ¡°Yes. Particrly when in a formal meeting, a proper shirt is expected. It doesn¡¯t bother me, but it was probably a contributing factor to my dad¡¯s hostility towards you. He and Simmons would have considered you to be half¨Cnaked while they were dressed in their best clothes.¡± Ashton seems thoughtful and maybe a little frustrated.


    ¡°And this is why your father was so reluctant to leave you alone with me? Because I am not dressed to their expectations?¡± I shrug.


    ¡°Partly, but dad is quite overprotective of me. He doesn¡¯t really like me talking to any guys. unless he knows them really well and has already managed to scare the life half¨Cout of them as a warning. He also doesn¡¯t trust you because you¡¯re fae. He doesn¡¯t know much about fae or what you are capable of or really anything about what to expect from you. It makes him ufortable. He doesn¡¯t like not being in control, and he doesn¡¯t like not knowing what is going on. Don¡¯t take it too personally; it wouldn¡¯t really matter who you are. He doesn¡¯t trust people very much, and especially not around me. I think it¡¯s a side effect of his job. He tends to expect the worst of people.¡± Ashton remains quiet for a moment as he processes my


    exnation.


    ¡°So you are telling me that I have offended your father¡¯s sensibilities. Yet you are unaffected?¡± Iugh nervously.


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t say that. More like I¡¯m just being reasonable about it. It¡¯s not like I haven¡¯t seen at


    with his shirt off before at the beach and stuff.¡± Despite my words, I could feel a blush


    <b>guy</b>


    1/4


    Rule 8- Embrace context, it¡¯s the punchline ofmunication.


    creeping up my neck. Ashtonughs<b>, </b><b>and </b>I swat at his <b>arm</b>.


    ¡°Oh stop it! I¡¯ll make sure to grab something of dad¡¯s for you to wear tomorrow. Shirts are required at my work. They won¡¯t let you in without one. I work in a clothing store, <b>so </b>you <b>can </b>pick out some clothes of your own while we¡¯re there.¡± Ashton feezes and stares at me in the dim light<b>. </b>I stare back, confused. It is just bright enough that I should be able to make out his eye colour, but I can¡¯t tell for sure. At first nce, I did think that they were green, but they aren¡¯t. Maybe they¡¯re more blue? Or brown¡­ I really need to see them in the daylight to beContent rights by N?velDr//ama.Org.


    sure.


    ¡°Ash- I mean<b>,</b>


    to rx.


    Mr. Rallowend. Is something wrong?¡± I ask nervously. Eventually, the fae begins


    ¡°You may call m¨¦ Ashton¡­ Katerina. Everything is fine, I was just¡­ thinking. Our homes are very different.¡± he answers vaguely.


    ¡°Anything you feel like sharing?¡± I ask. Ashton leans in a little closer.


    ¡°Well, I-¡± a sudden knocking at the door makes me jump. Ashton leaps to his feet and whirls towards the sound.


    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s probably just our food.¡± I move to answer the door.


    ¡°Please, allow me. I doubt the criminals I am chasing would show up and knock on the front door, but it¡¯s best to be safe.¡± Before I have <b>a </b>chance to reply, Ashton makes his way back down the hall and swings the front door open. The delivery girl is maybe a few years older than me and judging based on her mortified expression, she is terribly flustered by the half- naked Fae at the door. She can¡¯t stop staring<b>. </b>I want to pat her on the arm andmiserate. 1 know the feeling. The girl finally notices me standing behind Ashton. We have met a couple of times when I have ordered food in the past.


    I squeeze my way past Ashton and ept the food.


    ¡°I¨Cis this a friend of yours Kat?¡± She asks, her voice oddly high¨Cpitched.


    ¡°A new friend, yes.¡± I agree conversationally.


    2/4


    Rule 8- Embrace context, it¡¯s the punchline ofmunication.


    ¡°And he¡¯s a, a¡­ not from around here?¡± she confirms. Ashton decides to answer her himself.


    ¡°I am Fae, so I am <b>not </b>from this realm.¡± He answers smoothly. I can practically see the girl¡¯s <b>knees </b>shaking.


    ¡°I- I¡­ you..¡± she stammers. I decide to save the girl from her own awkwardness. She is getting redder and redder with every word she fails to get out.


    I thank her for the delivery and usher Ashton back inside, closing the door behind us.


    ¡°I do not understand. Did I do something wrong?¡± he questions<b>. </b>Iugh.


    ¡°Not at all. She was just a little¡­ distracted? Or nervous might be a better fit. She was not expecting ¡­. this¡­. when she knocked on the door.¡± I wave a hand in Ashton¡¯s general direction. He raises an eyebrow.


    ¡°I¡¯m just saying she was surprised to see you, that¡¯s all.¡± Ashton seems concerned by my


    statement.


    ¡°Is my being Fae really that obvious? I had thought I was doing rather a good job of maintaining my mour.¡± His what now? Is he wearing some kind of magical disguise? <b>Do </b>all fae do that? It might exin why they all seem to be so damn attractive. If you¡¯re going to


    magically disguise yourself, of course you¡¯re going to make yourself hotter, right?


    ¡°I no, that¡¯s not it. She was just surprised because of how you look. Again, you not wearing a shirt probably contributed. What were you saying about your mour?¡± I try to change the subject, but Ashton isn¡¯t having it.


    ¡°So it is again a case of my state of dress being objectionable. I will have to remedy this before going out tomorrow.¡± He definitely sounds frustrated now.


    ¡°I really doubt she was objecting.¡± I mutter to myself.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Ashton asks. Oops, I might have momentarily forgotten how good his hearing is.


    ¡°Ohe on. You know how you look. She was nervous because you are seriously hot.¡± I give


    3/4


    Rule 8- Embrace context, it¡¯s the punchline ofmunication.


    in and just tell the truth. It¡¯s better than the misunderstanding. Besides, isn¡¯t that what he¡¯s paying me for? To <b>exin </b>situations like this?


    ¡°What does my temperature have to do with my appearance and how would that make her nervous?¡± 1 can¡¯t help butugh at that one. Whatever spell they did to teach him English clearly wasn¡¯t as thorough as it could have been. I wonder how much he actually understands and how much he is figuring out through context clues.


    ¡°Sorry, sorry. Uhm, hot doesn¡¯t always refer to your temperature; it¡¯s the same as saying you are really handsome or attractive.¡± I am too busyughing to even be embarrassed anymore. The moment Ashton understands, a slight smirk of male satisfaction crosses his face.


    ¡°Oh, stop it. Don¡¯t let it go to your head. I¡¯m sure you don¡¯t need the ego boost. Nowe <b>sit </b>down<b>, </b>and we can eat.¡± I tell him off and head back to the living room.


    Chapter Comments


    1

 A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan Chapter 9

    <b>Rule </b><b>9- </b>When <b>in </b><b>doubt</b>, assume <b>everything </b><b>is</b>


    <b>photoshopped</b><b>.</b>


    Once we are settled and eating, I repeat my question about the mours.


    ¡°Fae are required to wear mours to blend in when in this realm. Many fae have very distinctive features which are best not advertised.¡± He tells me, that¡¯s new information.


    ¡°Really? Will you tell me an example or is that not allowed?¡± Ashton shrugs.


    ¡°Things like a tail, some have horns or scales. There is a lot of variation among the fae. Far more varied than humans at least.¡± I can¡¯t help but stare. This is certainly a lot of new information. I was sure I would have read it somewhere if it wasn¡¯t. I work topose myself and wonder how many people would kill to be in my ce right now. I have an actual fae sitting on my couch eating take out and answering my questions.


    ¡°What about you, do you have a tail or something?¡± I ask. It is half intended as a joke, but I really am curious. If this perfect¨Clooking face isn¡¯t his real one, I would really like to know so that it might be less tempting.


    ¡°No tail. I have a mour over my eyes, head, ears, and my skin.¡± I raise an eyebrow. That¡¯s a lot more than I expected. Practically everything except his hair as far as I can tell.


    ¡°Can I see? Or is that not allowed?¡± I ask cautiously.


    ¡°It is not allowed. But there¡¯s no one here to object as long as you promise not to say. anything.¡± My disappointment at what I thought was a refusal turns to excitement and


    Ashton winks at me.


    ¡°I won¡¯t tell anyone, cross my heart.¡± I promise. Ashton tilts <b>his </b>head, confused.


    ¡°It just means I¡¯m sincere in my promise. I think it used to be a religious thing. Like cross my heart and hope to God. But now pretty much everyone uses it.¡± I inform him, predicting the reason for his confusion. Ashton nods, his expression serious.


    ¡°Very well.¡± He closes his eyes for a second, and for a moment, he seems blurry. Like a badly


    1/5


    Rule 9- When in doubt, assume everything is photoshopped.


    taken photo, <b>except </b>he is real and sitting right in front of me. Then hees back into focus, and I <b>gasp</b>. His skin <b>is </b>COVERED in swirling patterns, almost like tattoos except they <b>are </b>white. They could almost be scars, but his skin is too wless, too smooth, and the patterns are too delicate. Even his face is covered in the pale markings. There is nothing feminine about them; they remind me of Celtic knotwork, seemingly endless and interlocking designs. His eyes also change; they are brighter and almost seem like they are glowing. There is no way I can miss the moss¨Cgreen colour of them now. It is so clear. His cars are elongated <b>into </b>the stereotypical elf cars, and I find I really want to touch them to confirm for myself they are real. Peeking out from his dark <b>hair</b>, I can see what look like two small, dark horns, maybe only a couple of inches long and barely noticeable past his hair. Aside from these changes, though, Ashton¡¯s base features remain the same. He has the same dark hair and handsome <b>face</b>. His perfect abs are apparently also real. I am almost mad about it. I had been expecting him to be less attractive, but the designs on his skin are amazing, and his eyes seem almost hypnotising. This ispletely unfair. I am going to develop an inferiorityplex.


    Ashton seems a little ufortable under my scrutiny. ¡°Katerina¡­¡± he trails off and I take a deep breath,posing myself.


    ¡°Wow, that is not what I expected. It¡¯s really cool.¡± Ashton seems upset by my response; he blurs for a moment, and when hees back into focus, he looks human again. Well, like an insanely attractive human at least. A movie star or model, after Photoshop because I doubt


    even the most handsome human is as wless as this fae without some kind of makeup or


    editing.


    ¡°You dislike how I look without the mour. I apologise; I had hoped it would not offend you.¡± Ashton seems quite hurt by this. I ampletely baffled. What did I do to give him the impression I don¡¯t like how he looks!?


    ¡°What do you mean? I didn¡¯t say that at all!¡± 1 object. Ashton tilts his head.


    ¡°You said it is cool. Cool is the opposite of hot, is it <b>not</b>?¡± I shake my head harder than is


    strictly necessary.


    ¡°No! I mean, well if you are talking about temperature then <b>yes</b>. But when talking about appearance? No, it¡¯s apliment. It can also mean¡­ um¡­ like, fashionable or attractive.¡± Ashton sighs in frustration.


    2/5


    Rule Y- When in Uuul<b>, </b>assunte e


    ¡°English is confusing. Why must <b>every </b>word have ten different meanings? And how am I to know which meaning is actually intended? It all seems rather absurd.¡± Heins and I


    ¡°It is rather absurd really. You have to take into ount the context. For example, just now it was highly unlikely that I was givingmentary on your temperature, so you can assume <b>I </b>meant toment on your appearance.¡± He isn¡¯t the only person to hate English. It¡¯s kind of a crazynguage, particrly if you didn¡¯t grow up with it.


    ¡°I understand. Ah<b>, </b>thank you for yourpliment then.¡± <b>I </b>smile at him.


    ¡°You¡¯re wee. Can all Fae make mours?¡± <b>I </b>continue my questioning.


    ¡°No, but those who cannot will often pay others to make one on their behalf should they have need of one.¡± Oh, so it¡¯s something you can buy. What would it be like to wear a mour? I wonder if Ashton would let me try one sometime. Then again, if removing his. mour is against the rules then that might be pushing it a little too far. I wouldn¡¯t want to get him in trouble or anything <b>if </b>someone found out.


    ¡°So, what exactly is a mour?¡± I ask.


    ¡°It is like ayer of magic that covers me. It shows what I wish it to show.¡± he answers.


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound tooplicated. It just shows what you want?¡± Ashton shrugs.


    ¡°Sort of, it is a little more difficult than that. I must focus on what I want it to show and keep that image in the back of my mind. It is distracting, and almost impossible to maintain while sleeping.¡± He adds.


    ¡°Ah, that makes sense. So you look like yourself when you¡¯re sleeping then?¡± Ashton nods. <b>I </b>consider his words. Holding a mour sounds like it might get tiring after a while.


    ¡°If it¡¯s so distracting then you don¡¯t need to do it when it¡¯s just us right? You may as well


    rx.¡± I point out. Ashton hesitates.


    ¡°It will not make you ufortable?¡± He asks. I <b>shake </b>my head, determined not to make this


    weird or to make him more ufortable.


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    Emergency va uning


    Rule 9- When in doubt, assume everything is photoshopped.


    ¡°No, why would it?<b>¡± </b>Ashton shrugs.


    ¡°Other fae who have visited the human realm have reported that many humans seem ufortable or upset around fae, particrly <b>if </b>they look different from humans or if they seem to be using magic.¡± Ashton exins.


    ¡°Oh, well, I¡¯m not like that. The way you look doesn¡¯t change my opinion of you. This isn¡¯t my real hair colour, but having natural hair wouldn¡¯t change who I am underneath it.¡± Ashton beams at me. He must have liked my answer. He blurs again and returns to his natural appearance. I have to fight to not stare at his gorgeous eyes¡­ Or his abs<b>¡­ </b>or really any part of him. The guy is the best kind of eye candy, even if he does have horns.Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Ipletely agree. I was wondering about your hair. It was reported that human hair colours. were rather limited. I do not recall blue being one of the colours.¡± Iugh<b>.</b>


    ¡°I dye my hair blue. It¡¯s just chemicals that stick to my hair and change its colour. I have to redo it every time my hair grows out or when the chemicals begin to fade off. My hair is blue because I like it and I choose to wear it this way.¡± I confirm.


    ¡°Do you dislike your natural hair colour?¡± Ashton asks curiously.


    ¡°No, not really. I just like this colour better. Maybe one day I will dye it a different colour, purple or pink maybe. Or maybe I¡¯ll let it go back to being blonde. But for now, I like it blue. If I want to have a serious career one day I will probably have to swap to a more natural colour. Some people can be very judgmental about bright hair colours. It¡¯s kind of silly, but there¡¯s nothing I can do about it.¡± I have to actively remind myself to stop talking. I am bbing, feeling slightly awkward around Ashton.


    ¡°That does seem like a silly thing to be concerned about.¡± Ashton agrees, and I shoot him at


    smile<b>.</b>

 A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan Chapter 10

    <b>Rule </b><b>10</b><b>¨C</b><b>The </b><b>best </b><b>way </b><b>to </b>win <b>a </b><b>fight </b><b>is to </b><b>avoid </b><b>it </b><b>altogether</b><b>. </b><b>It¡¯s </b><b>like </b><b>winning </b><b>by </b><b>default</b><b>, </b>but <b>with </b><b>significantly </b>fewer <b>bruises</b><b>.</b>


    to


    We both fall silent for a minute or two <b>as </b>we continue eating. It doesn¡¯t take long for me begin to feel ufortable with the quiet. Ashton is still looking around the room and I¡¯m <b>well </b>aware that neither my dad or I have vacuumed in a few days.


    ¡°So, will you tell me a little about these criminals you are supposed to be hunting? You said they killed your king and escaped here, which I would guess implies that they are either tough, sneaky, or just really lucky. But then again, you came here to catch them all on your own and there are three of them which implies that you are either tougher, sneakier<b>, </b>or luckier than them. You don¡¯t really seem the type to rely on luck though, so I am curious.¡± <b>I </b>snap my mouth shut again, realising that I am once again running my mouth. Ashton looks very solemn. He was serious when he spoke to the Mayor and my dad, but this is different. He was acting very formal then; now he is rxed and himself, and I am asking him proper questions, although I do think it was odd that neither the Mayor nor my dad thought it was weird that the fae would send one guy to catch three criminals. I suppose Ashton must have


    some kind of skills I don¡¯t know about.


    ¡°I suppose I should tell you a little about the bastards I am trying to catch, if only so you know what to look out for. As you said, there are three of them. They worked together as a group to break into the fae castle, take out the guards, and kill the king. I know a little of their particr abilities, although I do not know their exact species of fae so I cannot be sure that I know theplete extent of their powers.¡± I nod; this is sure to be interesting and


    slightly terrifying.


    ¡°One of the fae seems to have some kind of affinity with fire. He helped provide the others in the group with an escape route. They were not terribly subtle, which is why I know that they ran here. The second of the group must have some knowledge or ability rting to poisons<b>. </b>That is how the king was murdered. The final member of the group has some kind of power over people¡¯s actions, convinces loyal guards to go take a break or to go to sleep. I do not


    really know much more about them. I cannot even be sure that I know what they look like as it is entirely possible that they wore mours, and those who saw them do not have the ability to see through mours.¡± Ashton seems frustrated.This text is property of N?/velD/rama.Org.


    1/4


    Rule 10¨CThe best way to win a fight is to avoid it altogether. It¡¯s like winning by defau¡­


    ¡°So some people <b>can </b>see through mours then?<b>¡± </b><b>I </b>ask, catching on to that interesting detail. That means there probably aren¡¯t a lot of fae just wandering around the human realm, right? Unless seeing through mours is a purely fac skill. Ashton nods.


    ¡°Yes, although it is not amon ability. It is not connected to any specific species of Fae but rather the personality and intellect of the individual as well as their level of awareness.¡± I


    just stare.


    ¡°Okay, you lost me, I don¡¯t really know what you mean.¡± I admit.


    ¡°Well, the only way to see past a mour is to find a w in it. Noticing things like this is a skill most people don¡¯t really have or if they do then they don¡¯t really take the time to refine it.¡± Okay, so it¡¯s a practice type thing and a little bit a personality sh natural skill I conclude.


    ¡°Can you do it?¡± I ask. Ashton shrugs one shoulder.


    ¡°Sometimes. If I am aware that the person is in a mour and am looking for ws, I might find something. But I don¡¯t really take the time to check every person I meet, and I am not naturally observant enough to notice when I am not truly searching.¡± He seems a little embarrassed at this fact..


    Ashton considers me for a moment.


    ¡°You might be good at it, actually. You are quite observant.¡± I frown.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t notice that you had a mour on.¡± <b>I </b>point out.


    ¡°You did not know that mour existed, so why should you notice? Here.¡± Ashton blurs again and his mour reappears. I hope changing back and forth like this doesn¡¯t wear him out or whatever. But I suppose he knows his limits. I shouldn¡¯t worry.


    ¡°Try now; it should be easier since you know what I actually look like. Find a w in my mour, and you should be able to see past it.¡± He encourages<b>.</b>


    ¡°I don¡¯t really know what you mean by w.¡± I admit. Ashton shrugs.


    2/4


    Emergency calls only


    Rule 10¨CThe best way to win a fight is to avoid it altogether. It¡¯s like winning by defau¡­


    ¡°Anything that seems unusual or doesn¡¯t make sense.¡± I think about it for a moment, look him over, studying his features and try to remember to <b>focus </b>and not drool. His eyes. Ashton¡¯s eyes are wrong; they don¡¯t seem to have a colour. Or if they do, it is changing. The moment I realise this, Ashton¡¯s mour seems to melt away. When he doesn¡¯t react, I realise that he hasn¡¯t done anything; he is still waiting for me to say something.


    ¡°I did it, I think. Your eyes were weird, but you look like you now.¡± Ashton beam at me proudly.


    ¡°Very good! Most people cannot see through a mour so fast. I am still moured right now, <b>but </b>you cannot see it correct?¡± I nod.


    It will remain that way until I remove the mour and put it on again; then you would have to find a w again, although it would likely be the same thing. I always did have difficulty imagining myself with different eyes, so I struggle to show them in my mour. Still, you did very well.¡± I shrug, a little embarrassed at all his praise.


    ¡°You already told me which parts of you were moured to look different, and I knew what you should look like. I basically cheated.¡± Ashton shakes his head in disagreement.


    ¡°Regardless, I think with some practice you would be quite skilled at seeing through mours.¡± I give him a small smile


    ¡°Thanks, I guess, although I doubt I will actually get much of a chance to practise. You are the only far <b>I </b>know, after all.¡± I point out


    ¡°At least for now.¡± I raise an eyebrow. For now? When would I meet another Fae? Unless he is referring to the criminals, but I am fairly sure that he intends to keep them as far from me as possible, so that can¡¯t be it. Maybe he is just throwing it out there that it is actually possible.


    it Or maybe he pictures a lot more human and far interactions in the future.


    ¡°Right¡­ so¡­ if you don¡¯t know what the criminals look like and they could be wearing mour, how are you nning to find them?¡± | wonder #loud:


    ¡°I find their magic, or the effects of it at least. They are not ustomed to this realm, and it is unlikely that they will simply stop using their magic. They will not know how to fit in or hide it well. You should be able to assist me in determining if someone is disying


    3/4


    Rule 10¨CThe best way to win a fight is to avoid it altogether. It¡¯s like winning by defau¡­


    particrly odd behaviour or if there is some urrence which <b>is </b>outside the norm. I will be able to determine <b>if </b>magic has been used in an area, and that will hopefully lead me to them.¡± Ashton hesitates a moment before speaking <b>again</b>.


    ¡°There is also a slight chance that they may go on the offensive and try to attack me themselves. Should this be the case<b>, </b>I will do my utmost to ensure that you are <b>not </b>endangered in any way. It would be quite useful for you to be able to see through mours actually, although I doubt you will be able to do so without assistance right away. Still, if you should happen to notice <b>a </b>mour and see a Fae, please inform me immediately. And <i>do</i>


    make contact with them<b>; </b>try and avoid being noticed if you <b>can</b>.¡± I nod.


    ¡°<b>Sure</b>, I¡¯m no fighter. Hiding, running, and backup sound like good ns to me.¡±


    not


    Chapter Comments

 A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan Chapter 11

    <b>Rule </b>11- <b>Always </b><b>learn </b><b>the </b><b>correct </b><b>way </b><b>to </b><b>behave</b><b>. </b><b>If </b><b>you¡¯re </b><b>going </b><b>to </b><b>break </b><b>rules</b><b>, </b>it <b>should </b><b>be </b><b>on </b><b>purpose</b>.


    After dinner I¡¯m forced to face the incredibly awkward task of exining the bathroom to Ashton. I take the candle with us to light the room because if he can¡¯t handle regr lights <b>I </b>seriously doubt that he will survive the unttering fluorescent lights of the bathroom. I don¡¯t know exactly what kind of facilities they have in the fae realm, but judging by his baffled <b>expression </b>when I show him into our small bathroom, they¡¯re not quite the same<b>. </b>The toilet and bath he gets no problem. The button system on the toilet is different to what he expects and the bath is pretty self exnatory. He does get pretty excited when I show him the shower. The fae might have indoor plumbing but it seems like showers aren¡¯t really at thing there.


    ¡°It¡¯s like rain indoors.¡± He remarks delightedly.


    ¡°Uh, yeah. You can adjust the temperature though, just like the bath.¡± Ashton is rocking in ce. I can¡¯t help butugh.


    ¡°You <b>can </b>just say that you want me to leave so that you can try <b>the </b>shower. There¡¯s no need


    to be so polite.¡± I¡¯m giggling as I say the words and Ashton gives a bashful smile.


    ¡°If you wouldn¡¯t mind, I would love the chance to give it a try.¡± He admits.


    I quickly show him where the soap and towels are and leave him be. It¡¯s funny the things that he finds amusing. I always considered taking a bath to be the height of rxation and luxury and here he is getting all excited over the shower. I take the chance to steal a pair of track pants from my dad¡¯s closet. I leave them by the bathroom door, knock and call out to Ashton to let him know I left something out for him to sleep in. I don¡¯t bother finding him a shirt. If the guy doesn¡¯t generally wear one during the day in his regr clothing I seriously doubt that he wears one to bed. I hate going to bed with wet hair so <b>I </b>usually shower in the morning. While Ashton enjoys his shower, I change <b>into </b>a pair of cute blue and white pyjama shorts with polka dots all over them and afy blue tank top.


    Twenty minutester, Ashton is still in the shower. It¡¯s a good thing we don¡¯t run out of hot water because I¡¯m starting to think he¡¯s going to stay in there all night. I shuffle into the brightly lit kitchen, do a few dishes and some general tidying. I¡¯m not an especially messy


    1/4


    Emergency calls only


    Rule 11- Always learn the correct way to behave. If you¡¯re going to break rules, it sho¡­.


    person, but I also wasn¡¯t nning for a houseguest. Dad is barely ever home. He¡¯s a bit of a workaholic. So if the ce is a mess it¡¯s generally my fault because he isn¡¯t usually here long enough to actually make a mess. By the time Ashton emerges from the bathroom, I¡¯m sitting on the couch watching a random cop show. He¡¯s flushed red from the hot shower and the extra colour in his face makes his white tattoo marking things stand out even more than they did before. His wet hair is stered to his head emphasising his horns <b>and </b>his green eyes are bright with excitement. All in all, he looks less human than ever. I have to work to <b>drag </b>my eyes away from the mysterious creature standing in my living room.


    ¡°Thank you for the clothes.¡± He says politely. He takes a seat on the couch beside me, leaving a respectable distance between us. And by respectable distance I mean an entire other person could easily fit between us. I¡¯m starting to suspect that the fae might subscribe to some rather strict rules of propriety, even if they do walk around half dressed. I¡¯ve probably broken at least a dozen fae rules by now so I guess it¡¯s a good thing that Ashton is visiting us rather than the other way around.


    I angle myself towards him on the couch so that my knees are nearly touching his and I¡¯m basically sitting sideways.


    ¡°So, what exactly is your n for tomorrow? I have work early in the morning and we should pick you up some clothes. You¡¯re wee to hang out while I work although there won¡¯t be much to do. You could always go explore the shopping centre or something¡­¡± I add thoughtfully before I continue.


    ¡°Anyway, I¡¯ll finish around lunch time then we can do whatever you want to do. So, what are you nning to do?¡± I ask awkwardly.


    ¡°I am notpletely sure yet. The assassins who escaped here won¡¯t have a helpful guide. like I do so in all likelihood they will get themselves into trouble or draw attention to themselves in some way. It would be best if we were to find some way to monitor nearby. areas for signs of trouble or unusual urrences. I may need your assistance to determine if something actually IS unusual.¡± He smiles at me and I nod my understanding.


    ¡°Sure. Well we can ask my dad to let us know if there are any unusual crimes being reported, if that doesn¡¯t get us anywhere then I can show you how to use the inte. We can browse news sites and social media. If someone is acting strangely then it almost definitely would have been recorded and posted online where we can see it. Like on the T.V.¡± I exin, pointing out the television. Ashton seems a little lost although the T.V has most of his


    2/4


    Rule 11- Always learn the correct way to behave. If you¡¯re going to break rules, it sho¡­


    attention now that he¡¯s noticed it so I don¡¯t know how much of <b>my </b>exnation he actually heard. It¡¯s alright, it will be easier to pull myptop out and show him how to google and scroll through facebook than it would be to exin it. I¡¯m going to have to warn him what a rabbit hole the inte can be though¡­ I should probably also make it clear that anyone can post things online and that the information isn¡¯t <b>always </b>urate. But that¡¯s a problem for tomorrow. Ashton is engrossed in the cop show and I doubt he would take in a word I said if <b>I </b>tried to exin it now. Instead I answer about a hundred questions about the T.V. I exin that the show is fictional, that it¡¯s no different than a y or performance, it¡¯s just recorded. I exin what I can about cameras and videos but in the end I tell him he will just have to


    search online if he wants to learn more because I don¡¯t know all <b>the </b>details.


    By the time we finish watching a full episode of what I can only describe as a super generic cop show, it¡¯s gettingte. It¡¯s a little past midnight and I have to get up early in the morning for work. I stand up and yawn loudly which causes Ashton to yawn in response.


    <b>¡°</b><b>I </b>really ought to go to bed. Here, I¡¯ll show you your room before I go pass out.¡± I tell him cheerfully.


    ¡°Thank you. I am also quite tired. It¡¯s been a long day. I would be happy to go to bed myself.¡± Ashton agrees easily. I show him to the spare room. The room isn¡¯t terribly big and the walls are lined with cupboards and shelves that dad and I use for storage. There is a bed set up though since Lucy will asionally stay the night, particrly if dad isn¡¯t nning toe


    home.


    ¡°It¡¯s not much, but if you end up staying here for long we can clean it out a bit more and make some space. I wasn¡¯t exactly prepared for a houseguest.¡± I apologise. Ashton shakes his


    head adamantly.


    ¡°No, it is more than adequate. Thank you for permitting me to stay in your home.¡± He says.


    politely.


    ¡°Okay, if you¡¯re sure. Anyway, I¡¯m going to bed. I have to leave for work at seven thirty tomorrow. I¡¯ll be getting up <b>at </b>six. Would you like me to wake you?¡± I offer. Ashton epts


    gratefully.


    ¡°Okay, well my room is straight across the hall. If you need anything, please don¡¯t hesitate to knock. I¡¯ll see you in the morning then.¡± I turn and retreat to my <b>room</b>. I expect to stay awake


    3/4


    Rule 11- Always learn the correct way to behave. If you¡¯re going to break rules, it sho¡­Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    for a long time after the excitement of my evening, but I fall asleep almost <b>as </b><b>soon </b>as my <b>head </b>touches the pillow.


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 A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan Chapter 12

    <b>Rule </b><b>12- </b><b>You </b><b>think </b><b>you </b><b>hate </b><b>your </b><b>rm</b><b>, </b><b>but </b><b>if </b><b>you </b><b>were </b><b>going </b><b>anywhere </b><b>other </b><b>than </b><b>work </b><b>you¡¯d </b><b>love </b><b>it</b><b>.</b>


    The light chiming sound of my rm is enough to wake me up, however if the light an airy. <b>sound </b>is meant to make <b>me </b>feel cheerful or enjoy being awake in any way then it is failing MISERABLY. Then again, I secretly suspect that the people who make tones for rms actually make peppy cheerful tunes as a way to make people suffer because I can¡¯t imagine that anyone actually enjoys them. They¡¯re annoying in the same way a chirpy happy person is annoying when you¡¯re grumpy and in a bad mood. You, KNOW that there¡¯s nothing wrong with them being happy, but somehow you just resent them anyway. Misery lovespany I guess. It feels wrong for my rm to be so bright when I¡¯m not feeling that way. I turn it off and roll out of bed, half falling to the floor with a thump. It¡¯s six am. I could wake Ashton, but he probably doesn¡¯t need an hour and a half to get ready. I¡¯m only up this early because I¡¯ll probably have to call a taxi to get to work, or hope dad is home to drop us off. Nah, I¡¯ll shower first and wake up a bit before waking him. I think I¡¯d rather be a little more presentable and have a bit less bed head than I do now first anyway.


    After I shower and towel dry my hair, I slip on my horrible work pants and a ck tank top. I shove my bright red work top by my handbag so I¡¯ll remember to take it to work. I could technically put it on now, but I just really really don¡¯t want to. The colour looks awful with my blue hair plus it¡¯s going to be warm today. I¡¯ll just put it on right before I go in. There¡¯s no need to wear it while I¡¯m having breakfast. Now that it¡¯s closer to six thirty, it¡¯s probably time to wake Ashton. I hesitate by his door. What¡¯s the right way to wake someone up? The only person I¡¯ve ever woken is my dad, and usually that involves me mming his door open and yelling that his phone is ringing and that he needs to get up and answer it already. I don¡¯t usually have to worry about being nice. I knock softly on the door, then realise the point IS to wake him up, and knock a little louder.


    ¡°Ashton? Sorry to wake you but it¡¯s probably time to get up if you want toe to work with. me. I¡¯m about to sort out some breakfast.¡± I call through the door awkwardly. I listen for a response but don¡¯t hear anything. Is he awake? Should I knock again? I could go in and. check, that¡¯s what I would do for dad, but that feels like a definite invasion of privacy so I had better not. I¡¯m about to knock again when I hear him call out a response.


    ¡°I will be out in a minute.¡± His voice is groggy and he sounds half asleep. I¡¯m suddenly tempted to open the door and find out if he looks so perfect in the morning when he¡¯s just woken up. Sure, he will still be hot, but maybe he gets really bad bed head or something.Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org.


    1/4


    Rule 12- You think you hate your rm, but if you were going anywhere other than w¡­.


    Something about how perfect and put together he is makes me want to find <b>all </b>his ws. What I would do with that information I have no idea, but I¡¯m looking forward to spending


    more <b>time </b>with <b>him</b><b>.</b>


    I make my way to the kitchen and I¡¯m surprised to find my dad awake and sitting at the table drinking coffee. He works weird hours but he isn¡¯t usually up in the morning before me, unless¡­


    ¡°Dad, have you been to bed at all?¡± I take in the shadows under his eyes, his messy hair and the shadow of stubble on his chin. He certainly looks like someone who has been up all night.


    ¡°Not yet. I¡¯ll nap for a few hours once you head off to work. I wanted to have breakfast with


    you and catch up first. Uh¡­ where is your¡­ guest?¡± He asks awkwardly. I crack a smile.


    ¡°I just knocked <b>on </b>his door to wake him. He should be out in a minute.¡± I tell him with a pointed look that clearly says ¡®be nice, or else.¡® He gives me his best innocent smile and I roll my eyes at him. That tells me that he ns to be polite but nice might be asking a little. much. Then again, my dad is pretty much only nice to me. He¡¯s a good person, but he¡¯s not exactly friendly. He isn¡¯t the type to win any poprity contests. I set the kettle to boil so I can make myself a cup of tea and I start making some toast. We have a few spreads so Ashton. can decide between those and hopefully it¡¯ll be an eptable breakfast. I know <b>I </b>should put in a little more effort, but Ashton hired me as a guide not a chef. If he wants fancy meals he¡¯s


    going to have to get them somewhere else. Dad clears his throat to get my attention.


    ¡°Hmm?¡± I turn to face him.


    ? ¡°Your car is out front. The tyres have been reced.¡± He grumbles. My eyebrows shoot up.


    ¡®What? How on earth did you manage to get my tyres changed over in the middle of the night? I only had one spare!¡± I ask incredulously. Dad shrugs. SHRUGS.


    ¡°Oh no, that¡¯s not gonna cut it. I want an actual answer. What magic do you have to make that happen so fast? You didn¡¯t mug someone and steal their tyres did you? You¡¯re a cop, stealing is frowned on.¡± I joke. Dad scoffs at my joke. I can tell he¡¯s tired but I want to know. If he spent a stupid amount of money on it I fully intend to pay him back.


    ¡°Don¡¯t look at me like that. I called in a favour from a buddy at work whose brother owns an


    2/4


    Rule 12- You think <b>you </b>hate your rm, but if you were going anywhere other than w¡­.


    auto shop. He got me the tyre and I changed them myself this morning. I figured I¡¯d already pulled an all nighter and will be asleep half the day so I might <b>as </b>wellmit to it and stay up through breakfast.¡± He answers. A. Maybe my dad is nice, to me at the very least. I abandon the toast for a moment to give him a hug.


    ¡°Thanks dad.¡± I tell him. I¡¯m so happy. I was not looking forward to taking a taxi. Sure it¡¯ll get me from A to B but it costs so much more and there¡¯s just somethingforting about being independent and having my own vehicle.


    ¡°Well, you¡¯ll need it to show that fae around.¡± he grumbles. I give him a smile <b>and </b>return to making toast. It¡¯s sweet of him to worry and get my car fixed for me, even though he doesn¡¯t approve of me taking on this job.


    Footsteps from the hall draw my attention and I turn to see Ashton hovering in the doorway. He looks a little ufortable, probably because my dad is here. He had no <b>issues </b>talking to mest night. He¡¯s in his mour again and to my surprise, he¡¯s fully dressed. Where did he get that shirt? Maybe my dad left it out for him. Although it doesn¡¯t look familiar. Well, whatever. At least my dad doesn¡¯t have his clothing toin about.


    ¡°Good morning.¡± he greets us.


    ¡°Morning. Take a seat, I made us toast. What do you want on it?¡± I go ahead and list the options, then show him the drink options.


    ¡°Thank you for the meal.¡± he thanks me as I sit at the table. Our table seats four. Ashton is on one side, my dad on the other and I¡¯m in the middle.


    ¡°You¡¯re wee. But don¡¯t expect me to do this all the time. I¡¯ll show you where things are and you can help yourself if you want anything.¡± I tell him cheerfully and Ashton grins at me<b>.</b>


    ¡°Of course.¡± He agrees easily. We all fall silent. My dad keeps ncing up at Ashton over his. coffee and while Ashton isn¡¯t reacting, there is no way he hasn¡¯t noticed. I repress a sigh. I just know that this is going to be a very ufortable meal.

 A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan Chapter 13

    <b>Rule </b><b>13- </b><b>Don¡¯t </b><b>invite </b><b>debt </b><b>into </b><b>your </b><b>life </b>unless <b>you </b><b>want </b>it <b>to </b><b>crash </b><b>on </b>your <b>couch </b><b>for months </b><b>and </b><b>eat </b><b>all </b><b>your </b><b>good </b><b>snacks</b>.


    Ashton and I make the generic polite conversation that you make when you have guests. ¡®Did


    you sleep well?¡® ¡®Is the bed of ¡®Did you find everything you needed in the bathroom?¡± and


    so on. Dad just gives a surly nod when Ashton asks how he¡¯s doing and I have to elbow him. to get at least that much. I try to maintain a steady stream of conversation, but inevitably, every time I take <b>a </b>sip of my tea or a bite of toast, the room falls silent again and I have to find some new way to restart the conversation. Ashton is cooperating with my attempts but I don¡¯t think he¡¯s enjoying how my dad is watching him and it¡¯s making it hard for him toe up with anything to say. It¡¯s funny how he was so confident speaking to my dad and the mayor in a professional capacity, but now over breakfast he has no idea what to say. Not that I me him. This is incredibly awkward. But I doubt it will happen too often. My dad and I


    rarely have breakfast at the same time.


    A loud knocking at the front door has me jumping out of my seat, eager to end this awkward


    breakfast.


    ¡°I¡¯ll get it!¡± I call out, already rushing for the front door. I hear the scraping of Ashton¡¯s chair as hees after me. I¡¯m about to open the door but he beats me to it.


    ¡°Please, as we discussedst night. Allow me to answer the door and ensure it is safe first.¡± He insists. I step back and shrug. Sure, whatever. It¡¯s a little weird for him to answer the front door at my house, but if it makes him morefortable and is safer then it¡¯s not something worth arguing about. He opens the door cautiously while I peer around from behind his shoulder. It¡¯s like seven in the morning. Who would be knocking at our front door? Maybe a neighbour who needs something? Or someone delivering a package? I¡¯m surprised to see a woman wearing a business suit and heels. She¡¯s at that weird age where she could be twenty five or thirty five and I couldn¡¯t tell. Makeup makes that difficult sometimes. She has her dark. hair pulled back into a practical, but reasonably pretty bun and her expression is stern. Who in the world is this? Someone dad knows maybe? I expect to see some reaction from her at seeing Ashton. His mour might make him technically look human at a nce, but he is ridiculously attractive so surely she would suspect something. Plus what woman doesn¡¯t at least nce at an attractive man?Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    1/4


    Rule 13- Don¡¯t invite debt into your life unless you want it to crash on your couch for¡­


    ¡°I¡¯m looking for Katerina Fall.¡± She states ndly. Ashton still looks at her suspiciously but I step around him, or maybe more just slip my way into the gap beside him since he hasn¡¯t moved out of the doorway.


    ¡°That¡¯s me.¡± I answer politely. Ashton nces at me and I smile.


    ¡°Rx<b>, </b>she knows my name. None of your<b>¡­ </b>targets would have any idea who I am.¡± I reassure him. He still seems doubtful, but he does take a half step backwards so that he isn¡¯t


    in my way.


    ¡°Mayor Simmons requested that I deliver this to you.¡± She pulls an envelope out of a navy blue handbag that I actually kind of want and holds it out for me to take. I automatically


    reach out and take it <b>as </b>I ask.


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°The Mayor has sent some funds to cover the fae¡¯s expenses while he is here as well as to pay for your services. If the fae is here longer than a week he will discuss furtherpensation.¡± She answers. She says ¡®fae¡® like it¡¯s a dirty word. I don¡¯t think she¡¯s happy about this whole arrangement. I frown, I¡¯m not sure I want to take money from the mayor, particrly since <b>he </b>wants me to spy for him. I¡¯m about to say something but Ashton beats me to it.


    ¡°I believe I am the one who has acquired Miss Katerina¡¯s services and I will be the one to pay her for her time.¡± Ashton insists. I think he caught the woman¡¯s tone as well because he doesn¡¯t sound particrly friendly. Actually he sounds insulted, but whether it¡¯s due to her tone or the envelope of cash she just handed me, I¡¯m really not sure.


    ¡°The mayor is aware of that, however he assumed that you would not have human currency avable to you right now and some expenses mighte up in the meantime that need to be handled.¡± She says this in a condescending tone. Now I¡¯m offended. Not only is she assuming that my dad and I can¡¯t afford to host <b>a </b>single guest, but she¡¯s talking to Ashton like he¡¯s stupid. I hold the envelope back out to the woman.


    ¡°I¡¯m notfortable taking this money. I can cover any immediate expenses and Ash- Mr. Rallowend and I can discuss the terms of my employment ourselves. I apologise for the inconvenience ofing out here.¡± I wait with the envelope outstretched. The woman makes.


    no move to take it from me.


    2/4


    Rule


    ¡°If you have an issue with this<b>, </b>please contact Mayor Simmons directly and discuss it with him. I¡¯ve done my part so I will be going.¡± Without another word, she turns on the spot and walks down the driveway, her heels clicking against the cement. She gets into a fancy looking silver car and leaves<b>.</b>


    ¡°You know, she didn¡¯t even tell us her name. How rude.¡± Iin. Ashton also looks annoyed.


    <b>¡°</b><b>I </b>agree. I did think that she was being¡­ abrasive. But I was unsure if I was reading the situation correctly.¡± He admits.


    ¡°No, <b>you </b><b>were </b>totally right. She wasn¡¯t very nice at all.¡± <b>I </b>sigh and fiddle with the envelope.


    ¡°And what am I supposed to do with this?¡± I grumble. I carefully peel the envelope open to check the contents. My eyes widen.


    ¡°Woah, he sent three thousand dors! I am definitely notfortable taking this. The mayor definitely expects something from me and I¡¯m not really nning to deliver.¡± Iin. Ashton¡¯s brow furrows as he thinks. I suspect he¡¯s thinking back to our discussion about money fromst night and trying to figure out just how much money I¡¯ve been given. He gives up after a moment and shrugs.


    ¡°Do not worry about it too much. I will make sure the funds are returned to your mayor. You might as well keep the money as a bonus. Besides, vou did say I will need to purchase some clothes.¡± He points out. I¡¯m still not sure about this.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I¡¯m not keen to be in debt to the mayor. That could end badly for me¡­¡± I trail off. Ashton reaches out and gently takes my hand. He bows over it the same way he didst


    night.


    ¡°I assure you there is no need for concern, I will take care of it.¡± He promises. He makes eye contact and waits for me to nod my agreement before releasing my hand. That bow of his has to mean something, but I¡¯m notpletely sure what. F¡¯ll ask him sometime, but maybe not now. I have to leave for <b>work </b>soon. I¡¯m hoping no one will care if I sneak Ashton in with me before we open to do his shopping before I have to actually start work. I can put his


    purchases through as soon as the store opens.


    3/4


    Emergency calls only


    Rule 13- Don¡¯t invite debt into your life unless you want it to crash on your couch for


    ¡°Okay, fine.¡± I go to move the money to my purse since the giant envelope is a little obvious, and realise there¡¯s a note in there with the money. I pull it out. It¡¯s handwritten in a neat, capital letters.


    MISS FALL


    GOOD MORNING. I HAVE ARRANGED THIS MONEY FOR YOU TO ENSURE YOU CAN COMFORTABLY PROVIDE FOR THE NEEDS OF MR RALLOWEND AND TO COMPENSATE YOU FOR YOUR TIME. IF FOR ANY REASON YOU FIND THIS IS NOT ENOUGH OR IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU FEEL YOU NEED TO DISCUSS WITH ME, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT


    ME DIRECTLY.


    -K. SIMMONS


    Well, that isn¡¯t particrly subtle. He has also written his number on the note. He gave it to me yesterday but I guess he¡¯s just making sure I kept it. Whatever. I drop the note randomly into my handbag.


    ¡°What does it say?¡± Ashton asks curiously.


    ¡°Nothing much. More of the same, telling me to call if I have anything to repot. But it doesn¡¯t matter. We need to get ready to leave in a few minutes.¡±


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 A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan Chapter 14

    <b>Rule </b><b>14- </b><b>Treat </b><b>red </b><b>lights </b><b>like </b><b>unexpected </b><b>dance </b><b>breaks </b><b>in </b>your <b>epic </b><b>carpool </b><b>karaoke </b><b>performance</b>.


    I shove half the cash into my purse and the rest I drop off in my room. I¡¯m not willing to walk around holding that much cash. It¡¯s just asking to be mugged, or for me to identally lose my purse¡­ When I return, Ashton is waiting for me by the front door. He still has no shoes, but I suppose we can take care of that first when we get to work. I¡¯ll need to keep an eye on him during my shift too. Sure, he¡¯s an adult. But he¡¯s in a strange ce and it would suck if he got himself lost or in trouble while I¡¯m stuck arguing with some customer about the price. of stic bags. An idea strikes me and I rummage through my bag and pull out a pen.


    ¡°Can I have your hand for a second?¡± I ask. Wordlessly, Ashton holds out his hand. I flip his hand over and scribble my phone number on the inside of his forearm.


    ¡°If


    Omething should happen while we¡¯re out and we get separated and you need to find me. Ask someone to call this number. Some people are jerks and might not want to help, but in general most people are willing to help someone out.¡± I tell him with a smile. Ashton runs a finger over the numbers.


    ¡°This is the number to your¡­ uh¡­¡± He struggles for the word.


    ¡°My phone.¡± I finish for him.


    ¡°Yes, it is. If you stay here long then it might be worth getting you your own phone. But we can y that by ear.¡± He tilts his head and I correct myself for using the idiom.


    ¡°Sorry, I mean we will make decisions as theye up rather than deciding right now.¡± I


    exin.


    ¡°Oh, I understand.¡± He stares at the number a little longer before dropping his arms.


    ¡°Are we leaving now?¡± he asks.


    ¡°One moment.¡± I stick my head into the kitchen and wave to dad.


    ¡°Bye dad. I¡¯ll see youter, have a nice day.¡± I tell him cheerfully. Dad sighs and nods.


    1/4


    Rule 14- Treat red lights like unexpected dance breaks in your epic carpoci karcie¡­


    ¡°You too Kat. Be safe.¡± He says with a pointed look and I roll my eyes.


    ¡°Sure thing dad.¡±


    Ashton and I head out to the car.


    ¡°This is my car. Dad got the tyres fixed for me this morning so it¡¯s safe to drive.¡± I tell him proudly. I love my car and I¡¯m thrilled that it¡¯s been fixed <b>up </b><b>so </b>fast.. I thought I was going have to do without it all week. Ashton contemtes the vehicle and walks around it slowly.


    ¡°It looks different to the car from yesterday.¡± He says and I nodi.


    ¡°Yeah, there are a lot of different types of cars. They¡¯re made by differentpanies and. there are different styles that cost different amounts.. My car is cheaper than mayor Simmon¡¯s, but I love it anyway.¡± I open the passenger side door for him.


    ¡°Here, you can sit up front with me and watch me drive if you like. You¡¯ll have a better view here too.¡± I exin. Ashton awkwardly climbs into the car and I make sure his hands and legs are safely inside before I close the door and move around to get in the driver¡¯s side. Ashton has already located the seatbelt but he is struggling a little to get it done up. After a moment of fiddling he manages to clip it in and he seems proud of the aplishment which makes me smile. It¡¯s a bright morning which reminds me of Ashton¡¯s light sensitivity.


    ¡°Oh, I totally forgot to ask. Is the light still bothering your eyes? I have some sunsses somewhere if you need them.¡± I offer.. Tim pretty sure Ashton has no idea what sunsses are, but he shakes his head anyway


    ¡°I am fine. I have adjusted from the portal travel and the light is no longer causing me difort. Thank you for your consideration.¡±


    I start the engine and Ashton tenses up a little. He clutches the armrest as I back out of the


    driveway.


    ¡°Your car moves. backwards?¡± He asks, a little rmed.


    ¡°<b>Yeah</b>, it can go forwards on backwards. I control which one.¡± I exin some of the technicalities of driving, as we head out in the light early morning traffic. It¡¯s an easy drive to


    2/4


    to


    Rule 14- Treat red lights like unexpected dance breaks in your epic carpool karaokContent rights by N?velDr//ama.Org.


    work. Only about ten minutes and at this time we probably only see about <b>five </b>other <b>cars</b>. stop at a red light and wait. Ashton looks around out the window and seems to be waiting


    something.


    ¡°Why have you stopped?¡± he asks.


    ¡°Oh, the light is red. The lights are to direct traffic to avoid carsing in different directions from colliding. If the light is red then it means stop. Green means <b>go </b>and the yellow light is sort of a warning to slow down because the light is about to turn red.¡± Asht still <b>seems </b>confused.


    <b>A</b>


    egs


    nt


    <b>-S</b>


    re,


    <b>to</b>


    ¡°But if the lights are to prevent collisions, why are they red now? There are no other <b>cars</b>


    approaching.¡± He points out. He¡¯s not wrong. I¡¯m watching an empty intersection.


    ¡°That¡¯s true. It is pretty annoying when this happens. The lights are set on a timed system something. I don¡¯t know exactly how it works, but they change automatically. If the traffic were busy like it will be in about an hour from now, they would make a lot more senser. Sometimes the road rules are inconvenient, but ultimately they aim to make driving safer: it¡¯s best to follow them. Plus you can be fined or even lose your licence if you break ther rules.¡± I exin.


    ¡°Licence?¡± Ashton prompts.


    ¡°Oh, right. You have to be <b>a </b>certain age and you have to pass a test to prove that you arepetent driver before you are allowed to drive a car. If you lose your licence ddeddoeck driving or something you won¡¯t be allowed to drive until you can get your licencedbbakkw can sometimes take years. It¡¯s important to follow the rules, even if they are drogowenien seemingly pointless. Like waiting at a red light when there is no other traffice.I hanswer,


    ¡°Hmm, your ¡®road rules¡® seem veryplicated.¡± Ashton states. I shrugg


    ¡°Maybe a little bit, but you get used to them and most of them dodihve a good reason be


    the if you think about it.¡± I pull into the carpark at work.


    ¡°So, what did you think of your first look around town in the daylight? bask.


    ¡°It is interesting. I do wonder why there is so little green Everything is covered up with


    2/4


    Emergency calls onlyD


    #0021% 12:52


    ¡ö


    Rule 14- Treat red lights like unexpected dance breaks in your epic carpool karaoke


    buildings or paths.¡± He seems less impressed by <b>that</b><b>.</b>


    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s not great sometimes. A lot of people don¡¯t like nature all that much. They find it inconvenient. There are ces with more grass and trees though. If we find time I¡¯ll take you to see some.¡± I promise and Ashton nods, satisfied with my offer.


    ¡°Well, we should head inside. Technically I don¡¯t think I¡¯m meant to bring you in until the store opens but I think they¡¯ll let me get away with it just this once. I want to pick out some clothes and shoes for you before I¡¯m due to start work which is in about twenty minutes.¡± I nce at <b>the </b>shirt he¡¯s wearing.


    ¡°By the way, where did you get that shirt? Did my dad leave it out for you or something? <b>I </b>meant to get you something but you already had it covered when you came to breakfast.¡± I question. Ashton shakes his head.


    ¡®No, I did not believe it would be wise to ask your father for a shirt to borrow given that he seems to disapprove of me. This shirt is actually part of my mour.¡± He admits. My eyebrows rise.


    ¡°You mean you aren¡¯t really wearing a shirt?¡± I ask, a little incredulously. I didn¡¯t realise that mours could change clothing although I should have considered it. Now I¡¯m kind of jealous, that would be really cool.


    ¡°I am not. Is that a problem? I thought that this would be an eptable solution until we are able to acquire appropriate items.¡± He seems concerned and I wave his worries away.


    ¡°Oh it¡¯s fine. As long <b>as </b>people don¡¯t know it isn¡¯t a problem. Let¡¯s head in.¡± I tell him cheerfully.

 A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan Chapter 15

    <b>Rule </b><b>15- </b><b>Never </b><b>underestimate </b><b>the </b><b>power </b><b>of </b>a well- <b>timed </b><b>eye </b><b>roll </b><b>or </b>a <b>shared </b><b>sense </b><b>of </b>humour when


    <b>dealing </b><b>with </b><b>workce </b><b>absurdities</b>.


    Ashton looks really out of ce in the unnatural lighting of the store. I¡¯m not sure if it¡¯s because he isn¡¯t wearing shoes or because he looks like he should be in some fancy designer ce rather than a big chain retail store. Or maybe it¡¯s because he looks at everything with wide eyes rather than the frustration or annoyance that most of the staff have when turning up to work at this hour. I enter in the code to let us in through the employee entrance and exin to Ashton what I¡¯m doing as I go. The lights inside are already on so I¡¯m guessing that Marcus, the store manager, is already here. I should probably check in with him or he¡¯s going to think Ashton is a shoplifter or something. I consider leaving Ashton behind to browse or something but I don¡¯t want to leave him alone until I¡¯ve exined his presence.


    ¡°Uh, let¡¯s check in with my manager so <b>I </b>can try to exin why you¡¯re here. I¡¯m really hoping no one will mind. But they might insist on making you wait outside until the store opens. I think Marcus will be okay with it though. He¡¯s an okay guy.¡± Iment as I lead Ashton through the store to the offices at the back where I assume Marcus will be getting ready for the day. I see Stacy, one of the other staff members setting up a register as we pass and I wave at her but I¡¯m not sure she even notices me because she¡¯s too busy staring at Ashton and probably wondering if she is still asleep if her drowsy and confused expression is


    anything to go by.


    As I predicted, Marcus is in the main office. Marcus is about ten years older than me, but we get along pretty well. He is just as sarcastic as I am. He looks up as we enter, crosses his arms. over his chest and raises an eyebrow.


    ¡°What¡¯s this email I¡¯ve received from the MAYOR stating that you will need to be ced on leave from work, starting tomorrow ¡®until further notice? What does that even mean? And why do you have what I can only assume is either an underwear model or a fae following you into the office?¡± He demands. I cringe. Ashton opens his mouth to speak but I ce a hand on his elbow to stop him and shake my head.


    ¡°Sorry Marcus. I didn¡¯t mean to screw up your schedules. You¡¯re going to have to find. someone else to banter with. I know you¡¯re going to be absolutely deste without me, you are going to have to find a way to soldier on.¡± I say dramatically. Marcus sighs and drapes


    but


    1/4


    Rule 15- Never underestimate the power of a well¨Ctimed eye roll or a shared sense of¡­


    a hand over his forehead in <b>a </b>fake swoon.


    ¡°How ever will I go on without you around to sass me and to tell me whenever someone with


    truly atrocious haires into the store?¡± Heins. Iugh.


    ¡°Or shoes. Don¡¯t forget the terrible shoes. Remember the leopard print crocs<b>.</b>¡± I remind him. He nods solemnly.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I could ever forget. Now are you going to exin the sex on a stick you¡¯ve brought into the store or should I just assume that¡¯s my birthday present?¡± Marcus winks at Ashton who looks ufortable and VERY confused.


    ¡°y nice Marcus, or maybe be less nice. I¡¯m not <b>sure </b>what the situation calls for. Anyway, This is Ashton. As you guessed before he is a fae and with the mayor¡¯s blessing, he¡¯s hiring me to y tour guide for a bit while <b>he¡¯s </b>visiting. It was ast minute thing or I wouldn¡¯t have dreamed of screwing up your perfectly arranged schedules. I did stipte that I would do the shift I promised to work today though.¡± I admit. Marcus grins.


    ¡°And you¡¯re an angel for that. Pete called in sick five minutes ago so we¡¯re short staffed.¡± He


    sighs and I grimace. Ugh, that¡¯s not ideal.


    ¡°We can manage<b>. </b>I¡¯ll be super friendly and if any customers give me lip I¡¯ll tie a bow on them and send them your way. They can be your birthday present.¡± I smirk at him and he rolls his


    eyes.


    ¡°How kind of you. I don¡¯t think I want a present from you after all.¡± He says dryly.


    ¡°Well if you¡¯re sure. Anyway, I¡¯m hoping you won¡¯t mind if Ashton hangs around while I¡¯m working today. I also need to go help him get some clothes and some shoes. He apparently packs light.¡± Marcus waves a hand dismissively.


    ¡°Sure, sure. Hey, you think we could make money if we charge people to look at him? It might make a good side hustle.¡± he grins and I snort out augh.


    ¡°You just want an excuse to dress him up and stare.¡± I point out.


    ¡°Like you don¡¯t?¡± He sasses back. Ashton finally gets sick of listening to us banter and speaks


    2/4


    <ol>


    <li><b>up</b>.</li>


    </ol>


    ¡°I am unsure if I am understanding your conversation correctly but I gather that it is


    eptable for me to be here. Also that you both make many jokes pertaining to me.¡± He looks


    down at <b>me </b>and I blush.


    ¡°Yeah, sorry about that. We didn¡¯t mean to be rude. We¡¯re just being silly. We like to argue and joke with each other. But anyway, this is my supervisor and friend Marcus.¡± I introduce him properly. I probably should have done that at the beginning but Marcus distracted me with his banter. Marcus steps around his desk and holds out a hand to Ashton to shake. Ashton awkwardly takes it and shakes it like he did with my dad and the mayor yesterday. Marcus however doesn¡¯t immediately release his hand.


    ¡°Just to be sure, you don¡¯t y for my team do you?¡± he asks bluntly. Ashton flounders, clearly not understanding the question.


    ¡°Or maybe you y both sides?¡± Marcus continues hopefully. Ashton looks at me desperately.


    ¡°He¡¯s asking if <b>you </b>enjoy romantic or sexual rtionships with men, women or both.¡± I supply. Understanding lights Ashtons face and he carefully extricates his hand from Marcus¡®Owned by N?velDrama.Org.


    grip.


    ¡°I am afraid that I am doomed to spend my life attempting to woo and understand females,


    as hopeless as the task may be.¡± Ashton responds and after a moment of silence, Marcus and I both burst outughing.


    ¡°You¡¯re not wrong buddy. I wish you luck with that because if your fae women are anything. like human women, say for example Kat¡­ you¡¯re going to need it.¡± He grins.


    ¡°Hey!¡± I object. Ashton smiles mischievously.


    ¡°I have only just met Katerina but I suspect that she is particrly unique.¡± He answers and I re at them both.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I like it that you two are getting along. So I¡¯m going to leave. Ashton we should go try and get your shopping done before I have to start work. We only have a few minutes.¡± I


    point out.


    3/4


    Rule 15- Never underestimate the power of a well¨Ctimed eye roll or a shared sense of¡­


    ¡°Take your time. Technically you¡¯re still helping a paying customer and we won¡¯t be busy this. early in the morning.¡± Marcusments.


    ¡°Thanks Marcus, and happy birthday.¡± I wave as we leave the office and head back out to the store floor. I stop and look Ashton up and down..


    ¡°Alright, first up, shoes.¡± I decide. Marcus might have been joking about dressing Ashton up but he wasn¡¯tpletely wrong. This is going to be fun.


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