《Entangled To The CEO》 Episode 1 Jake¡¯s [POV] ¡°Kristen?¡± ¡°Yes, sir?¡± Kristen¡¯s voice came through on my inte. ¡°Get me, Natsuo Hattori, on the line.¡± ¡°Right away, sir,¡± she replied. A few minutester, I saw a green light sh on my office phone, and I pressed the little button next to it. ¡°Natsuo?¡± ¡°Hello, Mr. Middleton,¡± Natsuo replied immediately in his thick Japanese ent. ¡°It¡¯s very nice to hear from you.¡± ¡°I wanted to discuss a new contract with you,¡± I said. ¡°Hopefully, you can pass this conversation along to your boss. I think it will be mutually beneficial.¡± ¡°We are talking with other contractors at the moment, Mr. Middleton,¡± he replied, sounding reluctant. ¡°That¡¯s because you haven¡¯t heard our new rates,¡± I told him, spinning my tone into one I hoped was appealing. ¡°Trust me, Mr. Hatanaka is going to be interested in hearing about this.¡± ¡°I¡­will see what I can do,¡± Natsuo said, atst. ¡°May I make a suggestion?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± ¡°Convince Mr. Hatanaka to attend the meeting that¡¯s taking ce in five days at my corporate office,¡± I said. ¡°It shouldn¡¯t be too difficult, considering you are both in California at the moment.¡± Natsuo paused for a moment. ¡°How did you know that?¡± ¡°I make it my business to know these things,¡± I replied. Heughed lightly. ¡°Mr. Hatanaka worked with yourpany almost a year ago now,¡± he said. ¡°He was not so happy with the job that was carried out. But I think¡­with you¡­it might be different.¡±Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. ¡°Thank you, Natsuo,¡± I smiled. ¡°Coming from you, that¡¯s high praise.¡± ¡°I shall tell Mr. Hatanaka all about you the Major CEO.¡± ¡°Is that what they call me?¡± ¡°It is unusual,¡± Natsuo pointed out, ¡°for a CEO of a major maritime shippingpany to have served in the army.¡± ¡°It¡¯s my discipline that¡¯s helped me climb so far, so fast,¡± I said, still trying to market myself tond this contract. ¡°Be sure to exin to Mr. Hatanaka that he worked with thispany before I was at the helm of it. That was the only reason he was unhappy with the partnership. It¡¯s going to be different this time.¡± ¡°I shall tell him.¡± ¡°And the meeting?¡± ¡°I will confirm with your receptionist in two days.¡± ¡°Excellent,¡± I nodded. ¡°Thank you, Natsuo.¡± ¡°Of course, Mr. Middleton,¡± he said. ¡°And if all goes well, it will be a pleasure to meet you finally after so many phone conversations.¡± ¡°Well then, we¡¯ll have to make sure all goes well, won¡¯t we?¡± Heughed, sensing my hint. ¡°I shall do my best,¡± he said. ¡°Good day to you, Mr. Middleton.¡± I hung up and leaned back in my swivel chair. It had been a long day, and my back was aching, but I still had a meeting to attend across town, and it would take me at least a half hour to get there. I poured myself a ss of water and sipped it slowly as I checked the time. It was already six o¡¯clock, and the sun was sending violent rays of orange and red streaking across the sky. Some days, the view was my only sce. I was just about to get out of my seat when I heard a knock at the door. ¡°Come in,¡± I called, wondering if I should change my shirt before I headed to the meeting. Kristen entered with an apologetic look on her face. When I had first hired the girl three months ago, she had struck me as too timid for the job. I had expected her to quit after the first week, but oddly enough, she had managed to fit in well. She was well-organized, efficient, and quick on her feet. She handled my brusque moods andplicated instructions withoutint and never forced me to repeat myself. She had been my third receptionist in two months, and I was thankful that she had stayed, if for no other reason than to spare me the irritation of interviewing yet another candidate for the job. My friends and colleagues, however, assumed I was happy for another reason. But as I had assured them all repeatedly, Kristen¡¯s looks had nothing to do with it. Yes, she was tall, slim, and pretty, but there was also something about her that unsettled me. I could never quite put my finger on it. Her long hair was a rich summery auburn that brought out the gold in her hazel-brown eyes. Her smile was almost shy when it appeared at all, and I had noticed a few weeks ago that she had a dimple on her right cheek, but not on her left. They were odd observations, and I didn¡¯t trouble myself to analyze them too deeply. I just needed her to get the work done and get it done well. Still, now and again, I found myself wondering what exactly it was that I found so unsettling about Kristen. It nagged at the back of my mind, but I never allowed myself enough time to dwell on it long enough to figure out what it was. ¡°I¡¯m sorry to disturb you, sir,¡± she said. She was wearing a dark pencil skirt, a white cored shirt with roll-up arm cuffs, and ck heels that were exceptionally sensible. She had tied up her hair into a knot at the back of her head so I could see the heart shape of her face. Again, I felt that familiar little nagging that told me I was missing something obvious, but I pushed it aside and gestured for her toe in. ¡°You¡¯re not disturbing me,¡± I said. ¡°I just finished my call. What¡¯s the problem?¡± ¡°Uh¡­your babysitter is on line two,¡± she told me. ¡°She asked to speak to you.¡± Slightly annoyed, I nodded. ¡°Thank you, Kristen,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ll speak to her now.¡± Kristen backed out of the office immediately and closed the door behind her. I picked up the phone and epted the call on line two. ¡°J?¡± ¡°Hi, Mr. Middleton,¡± J¡¯s nasal voice spoke from the other line. ¡°I was just calling to ask if you were on your way?¡± I frowned. ¡°On my way where?¡± ¡°Home, of course.¡± I checked my watch again. ¡°It¡¯s six o¡¯clock.¡± ¡°Um¡­six-twenty now, actually,¡± she replied. ¡°I won¡¯t be home for another couple of hours, J,¡± I said. Episode 2 Jake¡¯s [POV] There was a split second of silence from the other line. ¡°Mr. Middleton, I spoke to you about thisst Friday,¡± she said. ¡°I told you that I would need to leave early today. I told you I would need to leave by seven at thetest.¡± ¡°Fuck,¡± I said before I could stop myself. ¡°Excuse¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said quickly. ¡°I¡¯m just¡­ Ipletely forgot. I thought you said tomorrow night.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t,¡± she replied crisply. ¡°I have a doctor¡¯s appointment to get to, Mr. Middleton.¡± ¡°Right,¡± I said. ¡°You said your father is going through something.¡± ¡°Cancer,¡± J said tersely. ¡°He¡¯s going through cancer.¡± ¡°Of course, I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said quickly. ¡°The thing is¡­ I can¡¯t get away today. I have two important meetings that start in five minutes, and that must be there.¡± ¡°Mr. Middleton¡± ¡°I¡¯ll double your pay for today,¡± I said, cutting her off before she could tell me off. ¡°Mr. Middleton¡± ¡°I¡¯ll triple it,¡± I said. There was another second of silence, and then I heard a loud sigh. ¡°I suppose I will have to call my sister and ask her to go with my father for chemotherapy.¡± ¡°Thank you, J,¡± I said, sighing in relief. ¡°I can¡¯t thank you enough.¡± ¡°I gave you a week¡¯s notice about this, Mr. Middleton,¡± she said, and I knew she was upset. ¡°I expected you here by six.¡± ¡°I know,¡± I said, trying to control my sense of irritation. ¡°And, I understand you have an emergency. But when I hired you, I made it very clear that I would need you on call twenty-four-seven. You promised me that you would make yourself avable to me whenever I required your services.¡± ¡°That was before my father was diagnosed,¡± J replied curtly. ¡°Again, I understand. It¡¯s just¡­ I pay you extremely well, J,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m paying you to double what full-time au-pairs are being paid in France¡¯s richest homes. And, I made it very clear what I expected of you when I hired you.¡± ¡°I suppose we¡¯ll have toe to some sort of understanding in the future,¡± J replied. ¡°Or I will have to move on.¡± There was nothing veiled about that threat. I gritted my teeth and forced myself not to reply. Her father was going through cancer; she was going through a hard time, and I didn¡¯t want to seem like aplete asshole. I was pretty sure I had crossed the asshole line a few sentences ago, however. ¡°We¡¯ll discuss itter¡­ When I¡¯m home,¡± I said. ¡°Alright.¡± I sensed the suppressed anger in her tone. ¡°Is Noah around?¡± I asked. ¡°Hold on,¡± J said. I heard a few seconds of static as the phone was passed over and then I heard a clear, high-pitched voice that made me feel sad and happy all at the same time. ¡°Daddy?¡± ¡°Hi, buddy,¡± I said, hating that I wasn¡¯t there to see his face. I imagined him sitting on the stool by the phone in his dinosaur jammies, holding the phone with both hands, as he had grown ustomed to doing. ¡°I ate noodles today,¡± Noah informed me. I frowned. J was a decent babysitter, but she was azy cook. I gave her an allowance each week for food and groceries, but she spent it all on microwaveable meals and instant noodles because that meant she could avoid cooking something nutritious. ¡°Again?¡± I asked. ¡°Uh-huh,¡± he replied. ¡°I poured the packet in. J let me.¡± He was talking about the vor packets that came with the instant noodles. I had already spoken to J about not feeding Noah those noodlesst week. She had chosen to ignore me. The sad fact was that I was so hard up for a babysitter that I had no choice but to swallow my words half the time and ept certain things as necessary sacrifices. ¡°What are you up to now?¡± I asked. ¡°Watching TV,¡± Noah replied. Again, I gritted my teeth. ¡°It¡¯s after six, buddy,¡± I said gently. ¡°You¡¯re not supposed to be watching TV.¡± ¡°But I wanna see the Ninja Turtles.¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you y a game with J, instead?¡± I suggested, hoping to tempt him away from the television. ¡°She¡¯s sick today.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡±Please check at N/?vel(D)rama.Org. ¡°Her head is hurting.¡± ¡°She¡¯s got a headache?¡± I asked. ¡°Uh-huh.¡± I frowned, but I didn¡¯t say anything else. Instead, I suppressed my reservations and put on a light tone. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I can¡¯t be there to tuck you in tonight, kiddo¡­ I¡¯ll make it up to you, okay?¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Noah said agreeably. I smiled. He was a sweet kid and was always ready to forgive. He had my dark brown hair and my blue eyes, and even at the age of four, he was a looker. I was intensely proud of him, but there were moments when parenting weighed heavily on my shoulders. ¡°Goodnight, buddy.¡± ¡°Goodnight, Daddy.¡± I hung up and sighed, wondering what I was going to do about J. It was obvious that she was unhappy babysitting, too. No matter how great the money was, it wasn¡¯t making up for anything. She hade highly rmended. She even had a degree in child psychology, but I was starting to realize that all the qualifications in the world didn¡¯t inspire a love for children or the ability to look after them properly. I changed my shirt and left my office. Kristen was still sitting behind her desk, her head poured over paperwork. She looked up when I passed. ¡°Goodnight, sir,¡± she said. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you have left at six?¡± I asked, realizing that she was usually gone by now. ¡°I wanted to organize all the files for the Milton coboration, sir,¡± she replied. ¡°It¡¯lle in handy for the meeting next week.¡± Impressed with her work ethic, I gave her an approving nod. ¡°You¡¯ve been doing a really good job,¡± I told her. Her face ironed out into intense relief, and then she gave me a brilliant smile. Again, I noticed the dimple on her right cheek. When she smiled, she looked younger and more beautiful. ¡°Thank you, sir,¡± she said. ¡°I appreciate that.¡± ¡°Not all my previous assistants have understood my military management style.¡± ¡°Well, that¡¯s understandable,¡± Kristen smiled. ¡°Considering your background.¡± ¡°Right,¡± I nodded awkwardly. ¡°Well, anyway¡­ I better get to my meeting.¡± ¡°Of course. I¡¯ll see you tomorrow, sir.¡± I nodded and headed out, wondering what it was about her that I was missing. She was umonly pretty, and I realized with a sharp pang that I found her very attractive. Perhaps that was it. Perhaps what I found unsettling about her was my feelings about her. Maybe it was nothing more than guilt. Episode 3 Kristen¡¯s [POV] ¡°Hey,¡± I said, slipping into the booth that Melody had picked by the window. ¡°Sorry I¡¯mte.¡± ¡°Were you at work this whole time?¡± she asked, scanning my outfit. ¡°Yeah,¡± I nodded. ¡°Just finished.¡± ¡°You know he can¡¯t make you work like that,¡± she pointed out. I smiled at her. She was always so defensive on my behalf. Melody and I had met at the gym a couple of months ago when I¡¯d first moved to San Diego. She was open, honest, and extroverted, and we had hit it off right away. She had smoothed the transition for me and made me feel at home in an alien state. ¡°He¡¯s not making me workte,¡± I said. ¡°I choose to workte.¡± Melody raised her eyebrows. ¡°Why?¡± she asked pointedly. ¡°Uh¡­because¡­ I actually enjoy working,¡± I said. Her expression of incredulity only deepened. ¡°You¡¯re a secretary,¡± she pointed out. She didn¡¯t say it with malice or judgment. It was just the way Melody was. She didn¡¯t mince her words, and she certainly didn¡¯t tiptoe around ufortable moments. Some might have found her to be brash and rude, but to me, she was a refreshing change of pace from the people I knew back home. ¡°Personal assistant,¡± I corrected. ¡°Big difference.¡± ¡°There is a difference,¡± I said. ¡°Spare me the speech,¡± Melody said. ¡°I know the real reason you like working so much.¡± ¡°Enlighten me,¡± I smiled sarcastically. ¡°Your boss.¡± The smile faltered on my face, and Melody let out a burst ofughter. ¡°See? I told you I knew.¡± ¡°I¡­ That¡¯s¡­uh¡­ That¡¯s not the reason.¡± ¡°Very convincing,¡± she said, giving me a wink. Thankfully, I was spared more stuttering attempts at denial when the waiter appeared between us with two menus in hand. ¡°Can I get you anything to drink?¡± he asked. ¡°Are you on the menu?¡± Melody asked, leaning in towards him like a heat-seeking missile. I suppressed myughter and looked at the obviously amused expression on the waiter¡¯s face. He was skinny, tall, and good-looking, but in a nerdy sort of way. I wouldn¡¯t have thought he¡¯d be Melody¡¯s type, but I¡¯d long since learned that my friend didn¡¯t stick to just one type. She didn¡¯t discriminate between men, and she had been vocal about that since we had first met. The waiter smiled. ¡°Unfortunately not,¡± he said, trying to conceal his blush. ¡°Shame,¡± Melody said,pletely undeterred. ¡°Well¡­the night¡¯s young.¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to jump in here,¡± I said. ¡°And give you my order.¡± ¡°Of course, ma¡¯am.¡± ¡°Ma¡¯am?¡± Melody said, looking affronted. ¡°Does she look like a ma¡¯am to you?¡± ¡°He¡¯s only being polite, Melody,¡± I told her. ¡°Can I ask you a question?¡± she asked, in a decidedly seductive voice. ¡°Do I look like a ma¡¯am to you?¡± The waiter smiled. ¡°No,¡± he said. ¡°You definitely don¡¯t.¡± ¡°Good, I¡¯m d we got that straightened out,¡± she said. ¡°I was just about to pounce on you. But you know¡­I might pounce regardless.¡± ¡°Salmon,¡± I blurted out. ¡°I¡¯ll have the salmon.¡± Melody shot me an irritated nce, but I smiled and ignored her. ¡°And a ss of the Merlot, please.¡± ¡°Very good, ma-uh¡­very good, miss,¡± the waiter said, with a pointed nce towards Melody. ¡°And for you?¡± She gave him a little wink. ¡°Since you¡¯re not on the menu, I¡¯ll have to go with the mushroom risotto,¡± she said. ¡°But just so you know, I intend to order something to go.¡± The waiter walked away looking exceptionally pleased, and I rolled my eyes at Melody. ¡°That was subtle.¡± ¡°You should know by now that subtlety is not my strong suit.¡± ¡°Apparently, neither is demureness.¡± She snorted. ¡°When did a demure woman ever get anything done in this day and age,¡± she said dismissively. ¡°Aren¡¯t you supposed to be in a rtionship?¡± I demanded. ¡°Oh¡­that,¡± Melody said, sounding annoyed. ¡°That¡¯s over.¡± ¡°What?¡± I said incredulously. ¡°You and Fred are done?¡± ¡°As of this morning,¡± she nodded. ¡°What happened?¡± She shrugged. ¡°Things just fizzled out. Even while we were having sex this morning, I felt the chemistry disappear into thin air.¡± ¡°You told me three weeks ago that you thought he might be the one.¡± ¡°That was three weeks ago.¡± Iughed. ¡°I really should have known better.¡± ¡°Meaning what?¡± ¡°Meaning that I¡¯ve been in California for five months now. I¡¯ve known you for almost all of those months, and in that time, you¡¯ve had two different boyfriends, both of which you imed was your soul mate.¡± ¡°I believed it at the time,¡± Melody said defensively. ¡°Okay, I can understand you saying that the first time around,¡± I said. ¡°But every guy you meet can¡¯t be the one?¡± ¡°They¡¯re not. They¡¯re all guys who have the potential to be ¡®the one,''¡± she exined. ¡°I give them all the benefit of the doubt until they prove me wrong.¡± ¡°Do you honestly believe that?¡± I asked curiously. ¡°What?¡± ¡°That there is such a thing as ¡®the one?''¡± ¡°Of course, I believe it,¡± she said with certainty. ¡°I believe there¡¯s a perfect match out there for every single one of us.¡±Exclusive content from N?velDrama.Org. I frowned. ¡°What about men and women who¡¯ve been married multiple times and im to have loved all their spouses?¡± ¡°You can have more than one soul mate,¡± she said easily. ¡°You just have to be lucky.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve got it all figured out, haven¡¯t you?¡± I teased. ¡°If I did, I would be married by now and living on the east coast of France.¡± Iughed. ¡°Is that the dream?¡± ¡°Oh, definitely,¡± she nodded. ¡°Until then, however, I need to keep searching.¡± ¡°For your soul mate?¡± ¡°Naturally.¡± ¡°Have you ever considered the possibility that your soul mate might live in another country? Maybe he lives on the other side of the world? For all you know, he could be living in Mongolia as we speak.¡± Melodyughed. ¡°I guess I better gear up for a world soul mate hunting tour.¡± I shook my head at her. ¡°You are crazy.¡± ¡°And, you are a pessimist,¡± she said usingly. ¡°Seriously, what is wrong with believing in true love?¡± I shrugged. ¡°I didn¡¯t grow up to see true love as realistic,¡± I admitted. ¡°How tragic,¡± Melody said, looking at me as though I were a lost puppy. ¡°It¡¯s not tragic,¡± Iughed. ¡°It¡¯s just how I was raised, I guess.¡± ¡°Let me guess; your parents had a bad marriage?¡± I hesitated. I never really liked talking about my childhood or my adolescence. They were parts of my life that I wanted to leave behind. It wasn¡¯t because they were too painful. It was because they weighed me down. The burden of my mother¡¯s past was stiff around my shoulders, and there had been moments growing up when I¡¯d felt suffocated. Getting out of Michigan was the best decision of my life, and a part of me wished that I¡¯d had the courage to do it sooner. I thought of that pivotal moment when I¡¯d decided to leave Michigan. I had been staring at the old photograph I had stolen from my father¡¯s memory box when I was seven. I had looked at it so often over the years that it was frayed and worn at the edges, but it still had power over me. Somehow, I knew it was time for me to do something about all the questions that had been collecting in my mind since I was old enough to ask the right ones. ¡°Uh no,¡± I said, after a short pause. ¡°My parents weren¡¯t even married in the first ce. My father was around only sporadically, and after I turned twelve¡­he disappeared from my life for good.¡± ¡°Geez,¡± Melody said, whistling under her breath. ¡°That must have been-¡± ¡°It is what it is,¡± I interrupted, clearing my throat to stop myself from getting too emotional. ¡°The point is I saw my mother spend the first few years of my childhood being madly in love, and then suddenly, her love story didn¡¯t turn out to be the magical fairytale she had envisioned for herself.¡± ¡°Can¡¯t say that I me her,¡± Melody said. ¡°Especially if the man I loved abandoned me and my kid.¡± ¡°Oh, she was to me, too,¡± I said before I could stop myself. ¡°What?¡± I shrugged. ¡°I just mean that she was not the victim. Trust me.¡± Melody raised her eyebrows. ¡°I feel like there¡¯s more to that story.¡± ¡°Not really,¡± I said. ¡°My mother moved on, and in time, she realized that it was stupid to have thought of my father as the only man for her. She got on with her life, and so did I.¡± ¡°You never missed not having him around?¡± ¡°He was only ying at being a father,¡± I said, without much emotion. ¡°He wasn¡¯t really my father.¡± She sighed. ¡°It all makes sense now.¡± ¡°What does?¡± ¡°Your cynical outlook on life and love,¡± she said dramatically. ¡°You¡¯re a scarred child.¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°I¡¯m really not.¡± ¡°You¡¯re from a broken home,¡± Melody continued like she hadn¡¯t heard me speak. Iughed. ¡°Oh boy.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve closed your heart to love.¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t done any such thing,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m just not prepared to believe that every single guy I meet may potentially be the love of my life. Some mene into your life for short bursts and others may stick around a little longer, that¡¯s all.¡± ¡°And, what category do you think your boss fits into?¡± Melody asked slyly. I pursed my lips. ¡°He¡¯s my boss,¡± I pointed out. ¡°Nothing can happen there.¡± ¡°Why not?¡± Because he doesn¡¯t know my secret, I thought to myself, and if he did, he¡¯d probably want nothing to do with me. I didn¡¯t say that, however. I liked Melody, but there were some things I would be taking to my grave. ¡°Did you miss the part where I said he is my boss?¡± I reiterated. ¡°Please,¡± she said, rolling her eyes. ¡°I¡¯ve slept with two of my bosses.¡± ¡°Melody!¡± ¡°The only reason I didn¡¯t sleep with my third boss was that she was a woman, and unfortunately, I¡¯m totally straight.¡± Iughed. ¡°You could write a book about your conquests.¡± ¡°And, you could write a book on how to effectively change the subject,¡± Melody said. ¡°You have to admit; you find him attractive, don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°He¡¯s a handsome man,¡± I admitted. ¡°Yes, of course, I find him attractive.¡± ¡°But?¡± ¡°But I don¡¯t like mixing business and pleasure.¡± She sighed. ¡°You¡¯re such a fuddy-duddy,¡± sheined. ¡°Fine then, your boss is off limits and off your radar. But there are other men in this city, you know.¡± ¡°I¡¯m aware,¡± I smiled. ¡°Then why aren¡¯t you getting proactive about meeting some of them?¡± Melody demanded. ¡°The right guy isn¡¯t just going to fall into yourp, you know?¡± ¡°It would be so convenient if he did, though,¡± I sighed. ¡°I could set you up?¡± ¡°No,¡± I said immediately. ¡°No way.¡± ¡°Why not?¡± ¡°I¡¯m extremely awkward on first dates,¡± I saidmely. ¡°And also¡­¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not willing to have sex on the first date,¡± I said. ¡°How very old-fashioned of you,¡± she teased. ¡°If I do meet someone, I want to wait until I¡¯mfortable enough to sleep with him.¡± ¡°Urgh¡­ How long is that going to be?¡± I paused. ¡°Um¡­a couple of months?¡± ¡°Fuck,¡± Melody said, looking at me as though I had just revealed that I was an alien. ¡°That long?¡± ¡°Sex means something to me.¡± ¡°Evidently.¡± I smiled, wondering how she would react if I told her that I was still a virgin. She would probably go into conniptions right here in the restaurant. It was almost worth doing just so that I could see her reaction. I stayed silent and let her regale me with the choicest titbits of her many sexual escapades, but the whole time, I found myself thinking of Jake Middleton. Episode 4 Jake¡¯s [POV] No matter how hard I stared at numbers on myptop screen, I couldn¡¯t seem to concentrate on any of them. Instead, I reflected on how focusing on one thing for too long seemed to make it lose all meaning. My head was spinning, and my body was tired, but I knew I needed to crunch the numbers before my morning meeting. I hated leaving certain things up to other people because something inevitably slipped through the cracks when I did. I preferred to be on top of things so that I knew exactly what was happening at all times. That had been the main reason I had risen so fast in thepany. The board of directors had noticed my work ethic, and when a candidate needed to be put forward for the position of CEO, my name hade up. I reflected on the moment when they offered me the position. It had felt like validation somehow. The steady drum of Noah¡¯s toy blocks was also getting in my head. We were seated around the low coffee table in the living room. Noah¡¯s side of the table was a mess of toys and blocks and crayons. He was trying to build something, but I wasn¡¯t sure what. His face was twisted up in concentration with his tongue sticking out as he needed it to think. I closed myptop and sat back to watch my son. When I first arrived back in the States, my first and foremost priority had been finding a job to support Noah. I had been so consumed with being able to provide for him that I¡¯d sacrificed the time spent with him. It was a sad choice to have to make, but it needed to be done. The important thing was that he was healthy and happy, and he was doing well in school. I nced up at the wall behind Noah. There was a framed picture of Daphne there, and right next to it was the framed g I had received at her funeral. Still to this day, I could barely remember much about her funeral or the days that followed. What I did remember was the sound of Noah crying. It was constant and desperate, and there was nothing I could do to calm him down. ¡°Noah¡­buddy?¡± I said. ¡°How has school been going?¡± Noah didn¡¯t look up from his blocks. ¡°Good.¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± I said, knowing I had to draw his concentration away from his blocks. ¡°How are your friends?¡± ¡°Good.¡± ¡°What¡¯s your best friend¡¯s name again¡­ Jordan?¡± ¡°Jaime,¡± Noah said, ncing at me. ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± I nodded. ¡°How is he?¡± ¡°Jaime¡¯s a girl,¡± he said. I smiled. ¡°Ah, that¡¯s right, sorry, buddy.¡± ¡°Jaime¡¯s mommy makes the yummiest cookies,¡± Noah told me. ¡°Chocte chip and she puts extra chocte chips in them.¡± ¡°Wow, sounds good.¡± ¡°I want a cookie now.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve already had your treat for today,¡± I reminded him. ¡°How do you know?¡± he asked, looking up at me with his big blue eyes. ¡°Because J told me you did,¡± I said. His face fell slightly, and his cheeks drooped. I was sorely tempted to break my own rule and give him something sweet to eat, but I suppressed the urge. That was another thing about being a single parent: you could never take a break from discipline. There was no way you could drop the ball because you didn¡¯t have a partner to pick up the ck. I wondered if I¡¯d have been more of a pushover if it weren¡¯t for my army background. I strongly suspected that I would have. ¡°Jaime¡¯s mommy bought the cookies when she came to school to speak to us,¡± Noah said, breaking through my thoughts. ¡°Oh? What did she speak to you about?¡± ¡°Her job,¡± Noah replied. ¡°She¡¯s a¡­a¡­pet healer.¡± ¡°A veterinarian,¡± I smiled. ¡°Yeah that,¡± he nodded. ¡°But I can¡¯t say that word.¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t tell me about career day.¡± ¡°Issokay,¡± he said,bining the two words. ¡°I told them about you.¡± ¡°You did?¡± ¡°I told them my dad was a fighter,¡± he said. ¡°And, now he sails ships.¡± I smiled. ¡°Ah¡­I was a soldier,¡± I corrected gently. ¡°And now¡­ Well, I don¡¯t exactly sail ships.¡± ¡°You do,¡± Noah said confidently. ¡°That¡¯s why you¡¯re always gone.¡± I felt a little stab of sadness when he said that and more guilt reared its ugly head. ¡°I¡¯m not gone all that much, am I?¡± I asked, hoping for some vindication. ¡°I see J more than you,¡± Noah pointed out, turning his attention back to his blocks. I tried to keep my expression calm and unaffected. ¡°How do you like J?¡±Noah shrugged, and I could see from the pout on his lips that he didn¡¯t want to answer my question. I set myptop aside and moved a little closer to him. ¡°Is she nice to you?¡± I asked, passing him a red block. He epted it silently, and for a second I thought he wasn¡¯t going to answer me. ¡°She¡¯s okay,¡± Noah said, atst. ¡°Just okay?¡± I pressed. ¡°She makes me food and gives me baths and lets me watch television whenever I want,¡± he said. I frowned, not liking thatst part. I had given J specific instructions before I hired her. Noah was allowed only one sweet treat every other day, and he was allowed half an hour of television on weekdays and one hour on weekends. His bedtime was eight on weekdays and an hourter on Saturdays and Sundays. J had chosen to disregard my instructions and do exactly as she pleased. ¡°She helps me with my homework, too,¡± Noah said. ¡°Some days¡­ But I want a real mommy.¡± I stopped short. ¡°What?¡± ¡°I want a real mommy,¡± he repeated. ¡°J¡¯s not a mommy.¡± I paused. ¡°Ah¡­ Noah-¡± ¡°Everyone has mommies,¡± Noah continued. ¡°Jaime and Jesse and Luke and Xander. I only have J, and she doesn¡¯t count.¡± ¡°Buddy¡­you had a mommy,¡± I said gently. ¡°Do you see that picture behind you? That¡¯s your mommy.¡± ¡°But she¡¯s not here,¡± Noah said, ncing behind him at Daphne¡¯s picture. ¡°No, she¡¯s not,¡± I said slowly. ¡°I don¡¯t remember her.¡± I sighed. ¡°You were very young when¡­she left us,¡± I said, unsure how to say it. ¡°Why did she leave us?¡± I gulped. This was the first time Noah had ever spoken about Daphne directly. This was the first time we were having a real conversation about her. Frankly, I had expected to have to deal with this when Noah was much older. ¡°She didn¡¯t want to leave us, Noah,¡± I said. ¡°She didn¡¯t have a choice.¡±This belongs to N?velDrama.Org: ?. ¡°A choice?¡± he repeated like he didn¡¯t understand. ¡°That¡¯s when you have to do something, whether you like it or not.¡± ¡°Like Ted?¡± ¡°Ted?¡± I asked, trying to figure out who that was. ¡°Ted lived in ss with us,¡± Noah told me. ¡°We fed him and gave him water, but one day he wasn¡¯t moving. So we had to dig a hole in the dirt and put him in it.¡± ¡°He was the hamster,¡± I said, remembering Noah telling me about Ted a few months ago. ¡°Uh-huh.¡± ¡°Yes, I suppose that¡¯s the same thing,¡± I said,pletely unsure if I was saying the right thing. ¡°I¡¯m sure Ted didn¡¯t want to leave, either¡­like your mom.¡± ¡°Why is she wearing that?¡± Noah asked, looking towards her picture. I stared at Daphne for a moment. I remembered the day I had hung up that frame. I had tried desperately to find a shot of her smiling, but that didn¡¯t leave me with very many options. She was wearing her uniform in the picture I had finally chosen. Even though she wasn¡¯t smiling, there was contentment on her face that gave me some measure of peace when I looked at it. ¡°That was her uniform,¡± I told Noah. ¡°She was in the army, like me. That was how we met.¡± ¡°And then you married?¡± ¡°We did,¡± I nodded. ¡°And then we had you.¡± ¡°And then Mommy died?¡± He said it so bluntly, as though he had been saying it for years. I had been doing my best the whole time to avoid using that word, thinking it would be too confronting for Noah. But I was probably just projecting. ¡°Yes,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s not fair,¡± he said suddenly. ¡°Tina has two mommies, and I don¡¯t even have one.¡± ¡°I know, buddy,¡± I said gently. ¡°It¡¯s not fair; you¡¯re right.¡± Noah looked at me for a second, and then he turned back to his blocks. I felt even more drained after that conversation and considered the possibility of hiring a live-in nanny. Perhaps Noah would benefit from having a woman around all the time. He was missing the feminine energy in his life. Again, I felt guilty. Was this because of how much I worked? Noah was right; he spent more time with J than he did with me. He didn¡¯t have a mother, and he had an absent father to boot-that couldn¡¯t be good for any child. I felt extremely inadequate at that moment, and I knew I would need to reconsider a few things if I was going to make a difference in Noah¡¯s life. My goal had always been to do my utmost to make sure Noah didn¡¯t miss Daphne¡¯s presence in his life too much, and I had failed miserably at that. ¡°What are you building, buddy?¡± I asked, forcing a smile onto my face. ¡°A ship,¡± he replied immediately. ¡°Like the ones you sail.¡± ¡°I see,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s a nice ship.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± he replied politely. I leaned back and watched Noah at his games. I wondered how different our lives would have been had Daphne lived to watch her son grow up. I remembered the first few months after Noah¡¯s birth and felt that familiar darkness engulf me. It had been a very difficult time. And, it had been even worse because I had beenpletely unprepared for Daphne¡¯s reaction to the birth. I think she had been, too. I remember her looking at me while she was nursing Noah. Her hazel eyes were wide with panic and fear, and she looked drained and tired. ¡°It¡¯ll pass, Jake, won¡¯t it?¡± she had asked me. ¡°Won¡¯t it?¡± ¡°Of course,¡± I had told her confidently. But the truth was I was terrified. I had just stumbled into fatherhood, and I didn¡¯t have the tools or the understanding to help Daphne. She had looked at me to save her, and I had turned my face away. Had I been selfish or ignorant? Had I been too young or simply too judgmental? My head spun with the torrent of memories that threatened to sink me under the weight of its pain. ¡°Daddy?¡± the sound of Noah¡¯s voice gave me strength. ¡°Yes, buddy?¡± ¡°Will you help me?¡± he asked. ¡°Will you help me build my ship?¡± I forced back my fears and regrets and nodded. ¡°Of course, son,¡± I said. ¡°Of course, I will.¡± Episode 5 Kristen¡¯s [POV] I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. The office was quiet this evening; many of the assistants had already cleared out for the day, and the senior staff was all attending meetings. Jake hade into the office only an hour ago after a conference on the bottom floor. It was prep for the big meeting and dinner he was hosting tonight with the Japanese client thepany wanted to woo. He had been in a bad mood the whole day, and I had done my best to avoid him especially since my day hadn¡¯t been that great, either. My car had broken down on the way to work, which made me almost an hourte to the office. That had created a backlog of work, which had eaten into my lunch break and forced me to skip lunch altogether. Then, to add insult to injury, one of the interns from the junior departments spilled his hot coffee all over my favorite white silk blouse while I was making copies in the copy room. I¡¯d had to spend the whole evening walking around with a giant stain on the front of my blouse. Then not even half an hour ago, I had run down to the water cooler to refill my thermos when Timothy Dugan, one of the assistant managers approached me and started sexually harassing me. I had excused myself at the first opportunity and taken refuge in the bathroom to try andpose myself a little. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, wondering what on earth I was even doing here. It had been a mistake from the get-go, and I probably always knew that, but for some reason, my stubborn nature hadn¡¯t allowed me to see that. I unclipped my hair and retied it quickly, pulling back the loose strands of hair that fell around my face. I ran my hands under the water and tried to rub away the stain on my blouse, but it didn¡¯t look like it was going anywhere. ¡°What an awful fucking day,¡± I sighed, under my breath. I tried to convince myself that I might still be able to salvage the evening. I would finish up here as fast as I could, then I¡¯d head back to my apartment. order some sushi and binge-watch something frivolous and entertaining. It didn¡¯t even matter what. I just wanted to turn my brain off and rx. Maybe I¡¯d even stop by the grocery store and get a couple of pints of Ben and Jerry¡¯s tofort myself. Feeling reasonablyposed, I had decided tomit to my n, suck it up, and head back to my desk when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I checked the name on the screen and tensed up the moment I saw ¡®Mom¡¯ emzoned there. ¡°Today just keeps getting better and better,¡± I said to myself. I stared at the shing screen for a few seconds, contemting what to do. I decided to just let it ring. I wasn¡¯t in the mood to talk to Mom today especially today. I put my phone back in my pocket and headed back to my desk. I could hear Jake talking to someone inside his office. His tone was far from cheery, and I sensed that he was just nervous about the dinner tonight. I was about to start looking through Jake¡¯s schedule for the next week when the phone rang. I picked it up immediately and employed my corporate secretary voice. ¡°Harper Maritime Company, this is Jake Middleton¡¯s office; how may I help you?¡± ¡°Uh¡­hi, I need to speak to Jake¡­Mr. Middleton, please,¡± said a tentative voice on the other line. ¡°It¡¯s urgent.¡± I nced toward Jake¡¯s closed door. ¡°Mr. Middleton is in a very important meeting,¡± I said. ¡°May I know what this is about?¡± ¡°I¡¯m J, his babysitter,¡± J replied. ¡°This is regarding his son.¡± ¡°Is he alright?¡± I blurted out before I could stop myself. ¡°Um¡­yeah, of course,¡± she said. ¡°Can you please put Jake on the phone? As I said, it¡¯s urgent. I have a family emergency, and I have to go right away.¡± I hesitated for only a moment. ¡°Okay, J,¡± I said. ¡°I will inform Mr. Middleton. I¡¯m going to put you on hold for a few minutes, okay?¡± ¡°Okay.¡± I put her on hold and then walked around to Jake¡¯s door. I knocked three times and took a deep breath. After a moment, I was met with a brusque, ¡°Yes, what is it?¡± I pushed the door open and entered hesitantly. ¡°Excuse me, sir,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m sorry to disturb you¡± ¡°I have a lot of work to do before the dinner tonight, Kristen,¡± Jake said, sounding extremely annoyed. He wasn¡¯t even looking at me as he spoke. His eyes were fastened on theputer screen in front of me. ¡°This had better be important.¡± ¡°It¡¯s about your son, sir.¡± Immediately, Jake got to his feet, and I saw the panic sh through his eyes. ¡°What¡± ¡°He¡¯s fine,¡± I said quickly, realizing what that might have sounded like to him. ¡°He¡¯s perfectly alright. It¡¯s just¡­your babysitter is on the line.¡± More annoyance shed across Jake¡¯s face. ¡°What does she want this time?¡± ¡°She says she has a family emergency,¡± I said, wringing my hands together. ¡°And she needs to leave.¡± ¡°When?¡± ¡°Now,¡± I said. ¡°Now?¡± he repeated. ¡°As in right this minute.¡± ¡°That was the impression I got, sir, yes.¡± Jake groaned and walked around his desk. ¡°She can¡¯t do that¡­ I have the dinner tonight.¡± He nced towards his phone and spied the line that was lit up. ¡°Is she on hold?¡± he asked. ¡°She is.¡± Without asking me to leave, Jake pressed the button and put it on speaker.Exclusive content from N?velDrama.Org. ¡°J?¡± ¡°Jake, I have to leave now.¡± ¡°I¡¯m paying you for the whole night.¡± ¡°I understand that, and I¡¯ll dly return the money,¡± she said. ¡°But I have to go.¡± ¡°I can¡¯te home tonight, J,¡± Jake insisted. ¡°Isn¡¯t there someone who can¡­cover for you?¡± ¡°My father won¡¯t exactly be happy with a substitute daughter, Jake,¡± J replied, and she sounded just as irritated as he did. ¡°I have to leave in the next half an hour. I expect you to be here in that time, or else I will have to leave Noah with one of the neighbors.¡± Episode 6 Kristen¡¯s [POV] ¡°We don¡¯t know any of the neighbors,¡± Jake said. I took a step back towards the door, wondering if I should just leave quietly. But that seemed kind of rude, too, so I just stayed where I was as Jake battled with his babysitter. ¡°Noah can make friends.¡± ¡°Are you insane?¡± he demanded. ¡°I don¡¯t know who those people are. They could be sadists or criminals or murderers with bodies in their freezers.¡± I could hear the eye roll in J¡¯s tone. ¡°See you in half an hour, Jake,¡± she said. The line went dead. Jake stared at the machine for a second and then he turned to me as though he realized I was still standing there. ¡°Did she just hang up on me?¡± ¡°Uh¡­ I think she might have.¡± ¡°God damn it,¡± he said with frustration. ¡°What the hell am I going to do? We¡¯ve been anticipating this dinner forever. It took months of preparation to get all parties to agree to this meeting in the first ce. If I¡¯m not there, we may as well kiss this whole deal goodbye.¡± I thought about the quiet, rxing evening I had nned for myself not even fifteen minutes ago. I thought about my night of binge-watching, my sushi dinner, and my dessert with Ben and Jerry. It was a beautiful n, and I needed it badly. Which was why I was so shocked at the next words that came out of my mouth. ¡°I can babysit your son.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± Jake said, turning his blue gaze on me like he couldn¡¯t quite believe his ears. I didn¡¯t me him; I couldn¡¯t quite believe my ears, either. ¡°Um¡­ I only meant if you have no other choice, and since this dinner is so important¡­ I could¡­ uh¡­babysit your son for you.¡± Jake raised his eyebrows. ¡°That¡¯s very nice of you.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been told I¡¯m a nice person,¡± I said. He almost smiled almost but not quite. I could see the conflict in his eyes. He wanted desperately to take me up on my offer because he could see he had little choice left. But he was also nervous to entrust a stranger with his child. ¡°I¡¯m not a sadist or a criminal,¡± I said before I could stop myself. ¡°And, I don¡¯t have any bodies in my freezer.¡± Jake¡¯s eyes were intense and searching. He looked amused, but I wasn¡¯t sure if I was just imagining that. ¡°Is that right?¡± he asked in a cool, even voice. ¡°I promise,¡± I said. ¡°All the bodies are buried somewhere safe.¡± Jake raised his eyebrows, and I blushed scarlet. ¡°Sorry,¡± I mumbled. ¡°Bad joke.¡± This time I was sure one corner of his mouth went up. I realized with a start that I had never actually seen him smile. ¡°You¡¯re serious?¡± he asked. ¡°About the bodies?¡± I asked, slightly confused. ¡°About the offer,¡± Jake said pointedly, and I wanted the ground to open up right then and there and swallow me whole. ¡°Of course,¡± I said quickly, trying to make the blushing stop. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have offered if I wasn¡¯t serious.¡± ¡°You realize that this gig is an overnight one,¡± he said. ¡°J always spends the night on days like this because I usually get home around two or three in the morning.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I said. I hadn¡¯t realized that, but I was still not going to withdraw my offer.Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. ¡°Well, I¡¯m okay with it as long as you are.¡± ¡°How are you with kids?¡± ¡°I used to babysit my neighbor¡¯s kid when I was in high school,¡± I replied. ¡°How old was the kid?¡± ¡°Uh¡­seven or eight.¡± ¡°Noah¡¯s four,¡± Jake told me. ¡°It¡¯s a difficult age.¡± ¡°I can handle it,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m good with kids. And if I have any problems, I¡¯ll be sure to call you. But don¡¯t worry; there won¡¯t be any problems.¡± Jake looked hesitant only for a moment. ¡°You¡¯ve done good work for me, Kristen,¡± he said. ¡°You¡¯re smart and efficient, and I¡¯ve seen how hard you work and that is why I¡¯m trusting you with my son.¡± ¡°I understand that you¡¯re nervous,¡± I said, without beating around the bush. ¡°In your shoes, I¡¯d probably be nervous, too. But don¡¯t worry too much. I have a way with kids.¡± Jake seemed to take a breath. ¡°Okay, then,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ll call J now and let her know that you¡¯re the one who¡¯s going toe and take over for her.¡± ¡°Right.¡± ¡°She¡¯ll give you the house key and a list of emergency numbers to call, just in case,¡± Jake said. ¡°His bedtime is nine o¡¯clock on weekends, and he¡¯s only allowed one hour of TV. And, if you have to feed him at any point, I¡¯d prefer healthy snacks.¡± ¡°Of course,¡± I said. ¡°Ask J to show you the room you¡¯ll be staying in; it¡¯s right opposite Noah¡¯s,¡± he continued. ¡°I should be home around two or three in the morning. I¡¯d appreciate it if you kept your room door unlocked so that Noah can get to you in a hurry if he needs to.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll remember that,¡± I nodded. Jake walked back around to his desk. He paused for a moment, and I sensed that he felt a little awkward. ¡°This is nice of you. Thank you, Kristen.¡± ¡°I¡¯m happy to help,¡± I said, giving him a small smile. I excused myself and headed back to my desk to gather my things. I would need to make a quick pit stop at home to grab my pajamas and a change of clothes for the next day. I was leaving the office when it hit me that I would be in Jake¡¯s home. I would be firmly ensconced in his personal space. The thought worried me. I wondered how Jake would react if he knew my secret. I honestly didn¡¯t know what I was doing. Was I trying to help like I had imed or was I just digging a deeper hole for myself? Episode 7 Jake¡¯s [POV] The night had been a spectacr sess. The dinner hadsted a little over three hours, but at the end of it, everyone looked suitably happy. To celebrate the closing of our deal, I had insisted on taking everyone out to a fancy bar in town. It was chic and trendy, but just formal enough to be respectable to host business colleagues, as well. As we got the bar, I had ordered some appetizers and a round of champagne for the whole group. There were about fifteen of us in total, and the mood had considerably rxed since the meeting. Everyone seemed to be pleased with negotiations, and I was satisfied. This deal would make thepany a shit ton of money, and I knew it meant I could rx for the next few weeks at least. I had been neglecting Noah a lot because of this meeting, and I wanted to make it up to him. I wondered how he was doing with Kristen tonight. I realized I had never actually spoken to Noah and told him that someone different was going to be looking after him that night. I had left that up to J when I should have been the one to exin it to him. Feeling guilty, I excused myself for a moment and headed to the end of the bar where the noise was not as prominent. I dialed thendline and waited to hear Kristen¡¯s voice. She answered on the third ring. ¡°Jake Middleton¡¯s residence?¡± I smiled at her formal phone manner. She was obviously still ying the part of my personal assistant. ¡°Kristen, it¡¯s Jake.¡± ¡°Oh, hello,¡± she said. ¡°Is everything alright over there?¡± ¡°Everything¡¯s fine,¡± Kristen assured me. ¡°We yed some games, had dinner, and then I read him a story and put him to bed.¡± ¡°Oh, so he¡¯s sleeping?¡± ¡°Yes, he is.¡± I nced at my watch and realized that it was almost twelve at night. I shook my head, frustrated with myself. Sometimes I felt like I was doing a half ass job at this whole fatherhood thing. ¡°I¡¯ve been checking on him every fifteen minutes,¡± she continued. ¡°He cut his finger earlier this evening. It was just a small cut from one of his action figures. I put a band-aid on it.¡± ¡°Boys will be boys.¡± ¡°Right,¡± Kristen said, and I could tell she was smiling. I fell silent for a moment, and I could sense that Kristen was waiting for me to say something. ¡°Uh¡­is there anything else you wanted to know?¡± she asked when I didn¡¯t say anything. ¡°No¡­ I guess I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was alright.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry about a thing,¡± she assured me. ¡°I¡¯ve got everything under control.¡± I let out a little sigh of relief. ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°No problem,¡± she said. ¡°How did the big meeting go?¡± I felt a little burst of triumph as I answered her. ¡°It went really well,¡± I said. ¡°We closed the deal.¡± ¡°Wow, that¡¯s amazing. Congrattions.¡± ¡°Speaking of which, I¡¯d better get back to the group.¡± ¡°Of course,¡± she replied. ¡°Goodnight.¡± I said goodbye and then hung up. Feeling momentarilyforted with the thought that Noah was okay, I headed back to my party and sat down beside Natsuo. He was a diminutive man who was much younger than I had first thought. He turned to me with a bright smile. ¡°I must say, Mr. Middleton,¡± Natsuo said. ¡°You were a surprise to me.¡± I smiled. ¡°Please, call me Jake,¡± I insisted. ¡°Why exactly was I a surprise to you?¡± Natsuo shrugged. ¡°I suppose I was expecting someone older, someone less¡­scary looking.¡± Iughed. ¡°Am I scary looking?¡± ¡°You look like an army man.¡± ¡°I am an army man,¡± I pointed out. ¡°Yes, but I didn¡¯t expect you to look like one,¡± he rified. Another one of the Japanese delegates turned to me as well as he overheard some of our conversation. ¡°Natsuo told us only this morning that you used to serve in the military,¡± Hiro said. ¡°I did,¡± I nodded. ¡°I enlisted when I was eighteen years old.¡± ¡°What made you enlist?¡± Kazumi asked, as more and more of the group joined into our conversation. ¡°The truth is, Ie from a family of soldiers,¡± I admitted. ¡°In fact, there¡¯s been at least one man in every generation of my family that has served in the military since the civil war. I suppose it¡¯s in my blood. My father was a war vet, too, and so was my grandfather before him. I wanted to enlist ever since I was a young boy. I enlisted on my eighteenth birthday, attended West Point, and spent most of my military career overseas.¡± ¡°Any ce in particr?¡± Hiro asked. ¡°Mostly Afghanistan,¡± I said. ¡°But you¡¯re not in the military anymore?¡± Natsuo pointed out. I hesitated. ¡°No¡­ I retired after my third tour of duty.¡± ¡°Three tours of duty,¡± Hiro said. ¡°That is very impressive. What was your rank in the military?¡± ¡°I was a major,¡± I replied. There was a murmur that went up among the group, and I saw the men look at me with obvious admiration in their eyes. ¡°And now, you are CEO of a big maritimepany,¡± Saburo said, and there was an ironic tilt to his tone. ¡°I know,¡± I smiled, trying to keep the mood light. ¡°Who would¡¯ve have thought? I can¡¯t quite believe it myself, sometimes.¡± ¡°How long ago did you retire?¡± Saburo asked, with interest. I felt my throat constrict a little. I didn¡¯t want to be talking about this. My military career hade to a sudden and unexpected close, and I didn¡¯t want to relive the details. I could feel the memories collecting slowly at the back of my mind, and even as I tried to resist them, I knew it was useless. ¡°Three years ago,¡± I replied. ¡°Just about.¡± ¡°You are a very young man to have done so much,¡± Hiro pointed out. ¡°Ah, he still has more to do,¡± Natsuo said, giving me a smile. ¡°I see you wear no ring on your finger.¡± Laughter went up among the group, and I knew the booze was doing its job. ¡°You¡¯re not married?¡± Hiro asked. ¡°No,¡± I said, a little too quickly. ¡°No, I¡¯m not married.¡± ¡°A brave man like you¡­ You¡¯ll find a woman easily,¡± Saburo said, pping me on the back. ¡°Let¡¯s toast,¡± Natsuo prompted, raising his ss. ¡°To Major CEO Jake Middleton and his future wife.¡± A round of cheers filled the air, and I sipped my champagne quietly, wishing I could drink something a little stronger. The happier and unrulier the crowd got, the quieter and more reflective I became. At this point, no one noticed my mood because everyone was having too good a time to give me any attention. I was grateful for that; I just wanted to be left alone. I kept drinking as the conversation of the group became white noise in the background of my memories. I probably should have stayed away from alcohol; I could never control my thoughts when I drank. I remembered things I¡¯d long since forgotten. I remembered things I had worked years to forget. I remembered the morning I¡¯d received the phone call. I had been sitting in our tiny matchbox apartment with Noah on myp. He had been gurgling away, happy to crawl around on therge pillowy nket that I had spread across the living room floor. When the call came in, I left Noah on the floor and rushed to answer it. I had been expecting a call from Daphnest night, but it had nevere. I hadn¡¯t been concerned. The connections were not always good in Afghanistan, especially if she was in a particrly hostile location. I knew she would call when she had a good line. I was just anxious to talk to her because of thest time. We¡¯d had a small fight, and Daphne had hung up on me. It had been almost six days, and I had started to calm down enough to want to apologize for what I had said to her. I had answered the call, anticipating Daphne¡¯s voice, but what I heard was the deep, gravelly voice of a man. ¡°Hello?¡± ¡°Is this Major Jake Middleton?¡± ¡°It is,¡± I said, ncing at Noah, who was still crawling around on the floor. ¡°Who is this?¡± ¡°I¡¯m Doctor Steven Edwards,¡± he replied. ¡°I¡¯m serving in the same unit as your wife.¡± I felt my knees go weak. ¡°What happened?¡±I asked the question. But I wasn¡¯t even really listening to his reply. All I heard were a few words that shook me to my very core. It was all I really needed to hear anyway. ¡°Major Middleton?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Can you hear me?¡± the doctor asked. ¡°I said there was too much shrapnel¡­internal bleeding¡­broken ribs¡­¡±Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Doctor,¡± I said, cutting him off. ¡°I have to go.¡± He was still talking when I hung up on him. I stood there for a long time, staring at my kitchen, trying to process what had just happened. Suddenly, I felt a tug on my right leg and looked down. Noah was at my feet. He had crawled right up to me and was looking at me proudly, with one hand wrapped firmly around my ankle. ¡°Hi, buddy.¡± My voice broke as I spoke, and I felt moisture prick at the back of my eyelids. ¡°Da-da,¡± Noah said, raising his arms to me so that I could pick him up. Instinctively, I picked him up and started walking around the apartment mindlessly. The phone started ringing again when I was on my third circuit around the coffee table, but I ignored it. ¡°Da-da,¡± Noah said, as though he were trying to point my attention towards the ringing phone. In the end, I unplugged the phone because the ringing made me feel like screaming. I kept walking until my legs hurt and Noah¡¯s weight had be ufortable. But I didn¡¯t want to stop walking because if I stopped, I would have to face it. And, I wasn¡¯t ready to say it out loud. I wasn¡¯t ready to make it real. ¡°Jake?¡± I blinked, and Natsuo¡¯s face focused in front of me. ¡°Sorry,¡± I said. ¡°I was somewhere else.¡± ¡°Too much alcohol?¡± he teased. I forced a smile onto my face. ¡°Please, I can drink you under the table,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s all part of my military training.¡± ¡°Ah-ha,¡± he said. ¡°That sounds like a challenge to me.¡± The table erupted in cheers and wolf whistles, and everyone started banging their hands on the table, demanding to see the challenge y out. I could feel the weight of my past threaten to drown me, and I knew I needed something hard enough to numb me against the pain of it. I gged down the waiter and ordered hard liquor for the table. ¡°It is,¡± I said, looking at Natsuo suggestively. Heughed and pped me hard on the back. ¡°We shall see who wins, my friend.¡± Hiro shook his head. ¡°He was in the military,¡± he told Natsuo. ¡°You have no chance.¡± I smiled darkly to myself. No one understood the truth. My tolerance for alcohol didn¡¯te from my military past; it came from my personal tragedy: the tragedy I felt was doomed to follow me through the rest of my life. Episode 8 Kristen¡¯s [POV] I felt an instant connection with the sweet, cherub-faced little four-year-old in front of me. He looked like a miniature version of Jake. He had dark shaggy brown hair and pearly blue eyes. Perhaps the biggest difference was that hope had not abandoned his face like it had his father¡¯s. Jake¡¯s home was a three-bedroom apartment in one of the city¡¯s nicest apartment buildings. It was spacious and sparsely furnished, which made it seem even bigger. I was pleasantly surprised by how the apartment was decorated. The colorsprised neutrals in earthy tones and light pastels. The furniture was practical andfortable, and there were plenty of personal items littered around the ce. Almost every wall had picture frames adorning it. The moment I walked into the living room, I noticed the framed picture of Daphne in the center of the main wall. I hadn¡¯t at first looked directly at it because I didn¡¯t want my interest to look suspicious. But once Noah was engrossed in his action figures, I was free to look at it as much as I wanted. Daphne was wearing her uniform in the posed photograph. She looked strong andmanding and extremely impressive. Her expression was slightly t, not smiling, but there was a strange expression in her eye, one I couldn¡¯t quite a ce. Next to her picture was the framed g that had no doubt been gifted to Jake and Noah after her death. It made me sad to look at it. The sense of loss that engulfed me was what forced me to turn away atst. I nced over at Noah, who was engrossed in his little game. He was a sweet child, and I realized from the first hour I spent with him that he was ustomed to ying alone. I did notice that he liked having me around, though. Whenever I walked over to the kitchen to drink water, he looked up instinctively as though he was aware something was missing. I thought about Daphne and our strange and unexpected rtionship. I remembered the few times we had met and the connection I had felt with her. I was almost certain that connection was one-sided, but a part of me still clung to the naive hope that maybe she hadn¡¯t hated me. I couldn¡¯t believe that this was the first time I was meeting her son. I looked around some more, but there were no more pictures of Daphne. There were no family portraits, either. Most of the pictures were of Noah involved in different games and different ces. It was rare to find Jake in the pictures, too. When he was pictured, his expression was pained, almThis belongs to N?velDrama.Org: ?. ost as though he had been forced into being photographed. I wondered how he would react if he knew who I was. He certainly wouldn¡¯t have allowed me to babysit his son. I knew I had crossed a line by taking the job with Jake in the first ce, but somehow, I just kept justifying my actions. ¡°Oww!¡± Noah eximed, pulling me back to the present. ¡°Oh no,¡± I said, rushing to his side. ¡°What happened, sweetheart?¡± ¡°I cut my finger,¡± Noah said, scrunching up his face in pain. ¡°Oh, honey, hold still, let me take a look.¡± It was a small scrape on his right hand. There was a little blood, but it was only a surface wound. In a second, his blood would clot, and he would be fine. ¡°I bet that hurts, huh?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°But I think you¡¯re brave enough to handle it.¡± ¡°I am brave,¡± Noah said quickly. ¡°Just like my daddy.¡± ¡°I have no doubt,¡± I smiled. ¡°Now,e with me, and let¡¯s get you cleaned up.¡± I ran his hand under some water and then once it was dry, I covered the scratch with a Band-Aid that had little blue stars all over it. ¡°There we go,¡± I said. ¡°Good as new.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± Noah said, giving me a shy smile. ¡°Don¡¯t mention it, my little man. Now, what¡¯s the time? Are you hungry?¡± I asked. ¡°You haven¡¯t had dinner yet, have you?¡± ¡°No,¡± he said, shaking his head. ¡°Can I have noodles?¡± ¡°Uh¡­sure,¡± I nodded. ¡°I can make your noodles.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to make them,¡± he told me. ¡°You just have to warm them up.¡± Frowning, I went to the kitchen cupboards and looked through them. There were two packets of microwavable noodles. I reached for one and stared at the instructions on the back. Noah had followed me into the kitchen, looking at me with those big blue eyes, like he was waiting to be fed. I gave him a small smile. ¡°You eat this for dinner?¡± ¡°Uh-huh,¡± he nodded. ¡°Your dad doesn¡¯t mind?¡± ¡°He¡¯s never here for dinner.¡± ¡°Ah¡­does J give you this for dinner?¡± ¡°Almost always,¡± he nodded. I bit my lip and refrained from saying anything. ¡°How about we try something different today?¡± I suggested, making my tone as enthusiastic as possible. Noah looked hesitant. ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°I promise it¡¯ll be good,¡± I said. ¡°Cross your heart?¡± I smiled and gave him a wink. ¡°Cross my heart,¡± I promised. I opened the fridge and peered in. There were a few carrots, beans, and potatoes, and I found some chicken in the freezer. Once the chicken had defrosted I cut it up and threw the pieces onto a frying pan with olive oil. Noah looked fascinated. ¡°Can I help?¡± he asked. ¡°Sure,¡± I nodded. ¡°How about you set the table for me?¡± Half an hourter, I had a home-cooked dinner ready for him. I arranged the chicken and veggies into a smiley face on the surface of his te and set it down in front of him. ¡°Vo,¡± I said. ¡°What do you think?¡± ¡°It¡¯s so nice,¡± he said, sounding mightily impressed. ¡°Go on,¡± I encouraged. ¡°Take a bite and tell me how you like it.¡± He speared a piece of chicken with his fork and popped it in. Then he gave me a big happy smile and nodded. ¡°That¡¯s yummy.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, throwing my hands in the air. ¡°I¡¯m d you like it.¡± I sat down beside Noah at the table and passed him a ss of water. I helped myself to a few pieces of chicken and tried to engage Noah in some conversation. ¡°So¡­how are you liking school?¡± ¡°I like it,¡± Noah replied. ¡°Are your teachers nice?¡± ¡°Ms. Mary is nice,¡± Noah replied, with his mouth full. ¡°But I don¡¯t like Ms. Gayle. She¡¯s always angry.¡± ¡°Urgh¡­I had a teacher like that,¡± I told him. ¡°I was always nervous around her.¡± ¡°Me, too,¡± Noah said, looking at me with wide eyes. I smiled. ¡°Tell me about your friends.¡± ¡°My friends are Jaime and Lonnie and Peter,¡± Noah said. ¡°But I¡¯m not speaking to Dan.¡± Episode 9 Kristen¡¯s [POV] I raised my eyebrows. ¡°And why is that?¡± ¡°He told me I didn¡¯t have a mother,¡± Noah said. ¡°He said I was weird for not having a mother.¡± I frowned. ¡°Dan doesn¡¯t know what he¡¯s talking about,¡± I said immediately. ¡°You¡¯re not weird at all.¡± ¡°I told him so,¡± Noah said. ¡°I told him that my mommy wasing back. And you did.¡± I raised my eyebrows. ¡°Uh¡­ Noah, sweetheart¡­ You know that I¡¯m not your mommy, right?¡± ¡°You¡¯re my new mommy,¡± he qualified. I froze for a moment, but I didn¡¯t let my surprise show. ¡°Sweetheart, why do you think that?¡± ¡°Because you cooked my dinner and read me a story and looked after me when I got cut. And because you smell nice and are very pretty.¡± I smiled and leaned in to kiss him gently on the forehead. I wanted to correct him again, but for some reason, I couldn¡¯t bring myself to disappoint that sweet, innocent face. ¡°Do you remember your mommy?¡± I asked instead. ¡°No,¡± Noah said, shaking his head for emphasis. ¡°She was brave¡­like my daddy.¡± ¡°She was a soldier, too?¡± I asked, even though I already knew all the answers. Noah nodded. ¡°She went to Af¡­Afgannd,¡± he said. ¡°I think it¡¯s called Afghanistan,¡± I said, suppressing my smile. ¡°Yeah, that,¡± he nodded. ¡°She went to make America safe.¡± ¡°She did a very brave thing,¡± I said softly. ¡°Daddy says she used to sing to me,¡± he continued. ¡°But I don¡¯t remember. I was too little. I only know her from the pictures.¡± ¡°I saw her picture in the living room,¡± I said. ¡°She¡¯s very beautiful.¡± Noah smiled proudly. ¡°Daddy says so, too.¡± We sat at the table for half an hour talking and eating, and I was surprised by how much I was enjoying myself. Noah was a smart child, but he was also thoughtful and observant. He had noticed his father¡¯s absence, and I sensed that a part of him had internalized that. I also sensed that Noah didn¡¯t like J, which was probably the real reason he clung to me and was adjusting to mypany seamlessly. Once the dishes were done, and the leftover food was stored in the fridge, I turned to Noah and pped my hands. ¡°I think it¡¯s time to get to bed, darling.¡± Noah¡¯s face fell immediately. ¡°Do I have to?¡± ¡°I¡¯m afraid you do,¡± I said firmly. ¡°Come on; it¡¯s already past your bedtime.¡± ¡°Will you read me a story?¡± he bargained.Exclusive content from N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Now that, I¡¯d be happy to do,¡± I said, as I led him to the bathroom that was attached to his bedroom. Once Noah was all ready for the night, I settled into his narrow single bed beside him and picked out a book from his collection. He nestled right next to me, resting his little head against my chest. I felt a tug of maternal love as I breathed in the dewy scent of him. I was halfway through the book when I realized that Noah had drifted off to sleep already. Happy with my sess, I gently extricated myself from his little body and covered him with his Superman sheets. Leaving his nightlight on, I tiptoed out of the room and left the door only slightly ajar so that I would be able to hear him if he woke up. I walked back into the living room and stared at the picture of Daphne in her uniform. It was so strange for me to be standing there in her living room, having just put her son to the bed. I remembered that first awkward meeting more than seven years ago. It was strange to think of everything that hade to pass since then. ¡°Daphne,¡± I whispered her name, wondering if by some magic she could hear me. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. I wish things had been different¡­for both of us.¡± I spent the next few hours sitting in the living room flipping through channels and reading old magazines that were stored underneath the coffee table. But more times than I could count, my gaze drifted to Daphne¡¯s picture. I was looking at her when the phone rang, shocking me out of my senses. I rushed to answer it before Noah could wake up. ¡°Jake Middleton¡¯s residence?¡± ¡°Kristen,¡± I heard Jake¡¯s familiar voice on the other line. ¡°It¡¯s Jake.¡± ¡°Oh, hello,¡± I said, noting that he sounded slightly concerned. Or maybe he just sounded a little out of it. I wondered if he was more stressed about his big meeting or about the fact that he had entrusted a virtual stranger with his son. I told him that I had everything under control when he asked about Noah. It was a run-of-the-mill conversation, but I sensed that something was up with Jake. It was almost like he needed someone to talk to. Even after I assured him that Noah was well and sleeping, he stayed on the line basking in a silence that seemed pregnant with some unnamed emotion. ¡°Uh¡­is there anything else you wanted to know?¡± I asked. ¡°No, I guess I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was¡­alright.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry about a thing,¡± I assured him. ¡°I¡¯ve got everything under control.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± I was on the verge of asking him if something was wrong, but I changed my mind at thest minute and chose to ask him about the meeting instead. Soon after, he said goodnight and hung up, leaving me to his silent apartment again. I turned back to Daphne¡¯s picture, and for a second, it almost felt as though she were staring at me. ¡°Do you mind that I¡¯m here?¡± I whispered. A secondter, I heard a noisee from Noah¡¯s bedroom and then I heard his high-pitched voice call out for me. It gave me little butterflies in the pit of my stomach. It made me feel scared and touched all in the same breath. ¡°I¡¯m here, Noah,¡± I called, rushing to his side. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, darling; I¡¯ming.¡± Episode 10 Jake¡¯s [POV] It took three attempts before the damn key fit in the lock. ¡°Fuck,¡± I muttered to myself. ¡°I had a little too much to drink tonight.¡± I stumbled into the apartment and identally dropped my keys when I tried to hang them up by the door. Cursing again, I picked them up and set them on the kitchen counter. I turned on one light and headed to the sofa where I copsed immediately. It was almost three in the morning. I had stayed longer than I had anticipated, but I was relieved that the deal was finally closed and everyone seemed happy. Noah and Kristen would be asleep. I wanted to check on Noah, but I decided to wait for a little until I was a little steadier on my feet. I looked up and saw that Daphne was staring at me out of her frame. She seemed to be looking at me with pity and quite a bit of judgment. ¡°You have no right to judge me,¡± I told her fiercely. ¡°You have no right. You left. You abandoned Noah and me.¡± The more I stared at her, the more I could understand. She wasn¡¯t just judging me. She didn¡¯t just pity me. She was disappointed. I could see it in the arch of her eyebrows and the way her mouth was turned down at the corners. Her hazel eyes were filled with emotion. I had always thought it was contentment, an odd sense of peace that came with self-actualization and understanding, but now I saw it for what it was. She was sad, she was scared, but most of all, she was relieved. ¡°How could you do that to us?¡± I demanded quietly. ¡°You had no right to do what you did.¡± Another memory reared its head, and I bent my head down, unable to look at her picture any longer. She was standing before me with tears in her eyes. She was reaching out for me, but I was turning away from her. ¡°Please, Jake,¡± she said, and her voice shook when she spoke. ¡°Please try and understand.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t understand,¡± I snapped. ¡°Don¡¯t expect me to.¡± ¡°You¡¯re my husband,¡± she said, emphasizing thest word. ¡°How could I not expect that?¡± ¡°How can you be so selfish?¡± I demanded, ring at her. ¡°Because¡­ Oh, Jake¡­ I¡¯m drowning,¡± she sobbed, and finally, the tears slipped free of her face. I tried to push the memory aside, but it was too overpowering. All I could do was bend my head and wait for it to pass. I could feel her at my back, imploring me silently to turn around, to face her but I couldn¡¯t. I was too angry, too hurt, and too lost to offer her thefort she needed. ¡°How¡­ How am I supposed to do this?¡± I asked her. ¡°I can¡¯t¡± ¡°You can,¡± she said, cutting me off. She came forward and grabbed my hand in both of hers. ¡°Don¡¯t you see, Jake? You always said that I was your rock. But you got it wrong. I was never the strong one¡­ It was always you.¡± I looked up at her and saw those perfect hazel eyes. I saw the woman I had fallen in love with, and I realized that she wasn¡¯t the same person. Not anymore. She had changed she was different. There was something about her that I couldn¡¯t recognize anymore, and that scared me. ¡°Is that it, then?¡± I demanded angrily, pulling my hand from hers. ¡°You¡¯re putting this all on me? You¡¯re justifying your selfishness by assuming I can handle it?¡± ¡°No, that¡¯s not¡± ¡°I don¡¯t even want to look at you anymore,¡± I spat, turning away from her again. I could feel her standing behind me, refusing to leave, hoping for my approval, my blessing. And yet, it was the oddest thing. I knew she was still there, behind me, but it was like she had already gone. I felt sopletely alone at that moment that I realized I had already lost her.Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. ¡°Jake,¡± she whispered my name. ¡°Please¡­ Please don¡¯t turn your back on me.¡± ¡°Get out,¡± I said before I could stop myself. ¡°Just leave me alone.¡± I shook my head and focused on the coffee table in front of me. Noah¡¯s building blocks and action figures were spread all over it. The memory had sobered me up, but it had also left me feeling deted and hopeless. I got up and walked to the kitchen. The fridge was only half full, but there were a few containers that I didn¡¯t recognize. I opened them up and found chicken and veggies. Despite having been refrigerated for a few hours, it still smelt good, so I microwaved a portion and ate leaning against the kitchen sink. Once my stomach was full, I made my way down the hall toward Noah¡¯s room. I realized his room door was slightly ajar. I nced over at the opposite door where Kristen would be sleeping. There was perfect silenceing from inside. I pushed Noah¡¯s door opened and peered in. I stopped when I realized that Kristen was in the room with Noah. She was curled up on the edge of his bed with one arm thrown across the pillow. Noah was resting just underneath, snuggled into the curve of her body. His little hand was thrown across Kristen¡¯s body as though he had fallen asleep hugging her. I felt a pang when I saw the two of them like that, but I didn¡¯t understand why I got so emotional at the sight. I happened to nce up at Noah¡¯s chest of drawers at that moment, and I saw the small, framed photo of Daphne that I had ced there so that he would always feel like she was close by. I stared at the picture for a moment. That photograph had been taken years ago, just before we had gotten married. Daphne was wearing a blush pink dress, and her auburn hair hung loosely around her shoulders. She wasughing, and her head was tilted up towards the sun. Her eyes weren¡¯t clear in the snapshot, but it had always been one of my favorite memories of her. She had been more carefree back then. Staring at her picture, the sudden realization that had been staring me in the face for months suddenly hit me. I balked slightly as I turned to Kristen to confirm what I had just realized. They looked so simr to one another. That was what had been nagging me about Kristen this whole time. It was the reason I looked twice at her every time she walked into a room. It was the reason I thought about her sometimes at night without any rhyme or reason. She looked like Daphne. I walked into the room softly and looked down at my son curled up in Kristen¡¯s arms. It was a beautiful sight, the way his arms clung to her, even in sleep. He had missed a mother figure in his life; I had known that for quite some time, but I just hadn¡¯t wanted to admit it to myself. The more I looked at them, the more upset I got. I didn¡¯t want Noah to form close attachments with random women who wouldn¡¯t be in his life for long. The fact was that Kristen was not his mother, no matter how much like Daphne she happened to look. As I backed away from the two of them, my feet against the floor made a scratching noise, and both Kristen and Noah stirred in their sleep. I saw Kristen¡¯s eyes blink open, and then Noah reached for her and whispered a word that shook me to my very core. ¡°Mama,¡± he said. I don¡¯t know what happened. I just heard that word, and something inside me snapped. Before Kristen could respond, I rushed forward and grabbed Noah from his bed and away from her. She gasped in shock, realizing that I was in the room. ¡°Oh my God,¡± she eximed as Noah looked a little scared and shell-shocked. ¡°Kristen,¡± I said. ¡°I think you¡¯d better leave.¡± She blinked at me and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. It was clear she hadn¡¯t changed into night clothes. She was still in jeans and a t-shirt, and I was d about that. It meant she didn¡¯t have to stick around to change. ¡°Daddy?¡± Noah said, and his voice was confused and still a little scared. ¡°It¡¯s okay, buddy,¡± I said soothingly. ¡°You go back to sleep.¡± As Kristen got off the bed, I set Noah back down on it. I pulled the covers up around him and kissed his forehead. He was still drowsy with sleep, and I hoped he would go back to sleep easily. ¡°Come with me,¡± I said to Kristen. I saw her look back at Noah and give him aforting smile. Again, I saw his hand reach out for her. ¡°Go to sleep, sweetheart,¡± she said, with a familiarity that I thought was presumptuous of her. ¡°Sweet dreams.¡± We walked out into the living room, and I turned to face her. ¡°I want you to leave,¡± I said bluntly. ¡°Now.¡± Kristen looked at the time instinctively. ¡°Is something wrong?¡± she asked, in a concerned voice. ¡°Everything is fine,¡± I snapped impatiently. ¡°I just want you to go. Get your stuff and leave-now.¡± Her eyes went wide when she realized that I was as angry as I was serious. Even as I was saying the words, a part of me knew how irrational, rude, and ungrateful I was being. But I was too panicked to care about that right now. I just wanted her gone. I knew it was my imagination, but I could feel Daphne¡¯s eyes on the back of my head. Kristen looked at me for a second longer, then she turned and ran to the room where she had put her stuff. A few secondster, she emerged again with a bag thrown over one shoulder. She was at the door when she turned suddenly. Her hazel eyes were fixed on my face, and I tried to avoid them desperately. ¡°Can you tell me what¡¯s wrong, please?¡± Kristen asked. ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡± ¡°Nor will you,¡± I said, my tone harsher than I had intended. ¡°Just go.¡± She shook her head at me inplete confusion, and then she was gone. I stood in the empty living room, wondering what on earth hade over me. It was past three in the morning; I shouldn¡¯t have thrown her out at this time. I had changed, too, I realized with a start. I had be¡­colder and harsher. Was it possible that I had be cruel, too? ¡°Daddy?¡± I turned and found Noah standing by the sofa, half hiding behind it like he was scared toe out into the open. ¡°Hi, buddy,¡± I said, rushing to his side. I knelt in front of him and gave him a hug that I hoped wasforting. ¡°You should be asleep.¡± ¡°Where¡¯s Krissy?¡± Noah asked. I paused for a moment. ¡°She had to go home,¡± I said. ¡°Why?¡± he asked in a wheedling voice. ¡°Come on,¡± I said, ignoring his question. ¡°Let¡¯s get to bed.¡± ¡°I want Krissie,¡± he said, dragging his feet as I led him back to his room. ¡°You¡¯ll have to make do with me, kid,¡± I said, feeling a stab in my heart. ¡°Come on, in you get.¡± I sat down beside Noah on his bed. He was looking at me with those big blue eyes of his, and I could sense all the questions in them. The truly heartbreaking part was that I didn¡¯t have any of the answers. Episode 11 Kristen¡¯s [POV] ¡°Thank God for wine coolers,¡± Melody said as she handed me one. We weren¡¯t even bothering with sses. We were just sitting on the floor of Melody¡¯s living room, drinking straight out of the bottle. I loved evenings like this when there was nothing else to do but talk and drink and eat. It was especially perfect when there was something to bitch about. ¡°What do you think?¡± I asked. ¡°Pizza or shall we order some sushi?¡± ¡°How about both?¡± Melody suggested. ¡°Both?¡± I repeated. ¡°Italian and Japanese¡­that sounds strange.¡± ¡°Fuck it,¡± Melody said. ¡°I want pizza, and I want sushi, so I¡¯m ordering both.¡± Iughed. ¡°Fine,¡± I said, jumping on board. ¡°Pick any pizza you want; I¡¯m game either way. And sushi¡­ I¡¯ll go for a California maki and a spicy tuna maki.¡±Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. ¡°Done and done,¡± Melody nodded, as she dialed in the delivery number and started to order. I nced at my phone and saw that I had new emails from my work ount. I sighed and turned my phone over. Work had been particrly awful the past week. Jake had been ignoring mepletely, and he hadn¡¯t even addressed what had happened at his ce that night. I had been confused at first, but confusion had quickly given way to anger. He hadn¡¯t even thanked me before kicking me out. It was obvious he was going through something, but that didn¡¯t excuse his behavior¡­did it? ¡°So,¡± Melody said, having finished ordering our dinner. ¡°How are things going at work? Any improvements?¡± I had been so upset by what had happened that night at Jake¡¯s house that I¡¯d confided in Melody. She reacted with the appropriate outrage, and I felt better for a few minutes. I sighed. ¡°Awful,¡± I admitted. ¡°He¡¯s still ignoring you, huh?¡± ¡°Ignoring me, avoiding me, barking orders at me without even ncing up at me,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s like I¡¯m not even a person.¡± ¡°He¡¯s a fucking asshole,¡± she said. I sighed. ¡°Well¡­¡± ¡°Are you kidding me?¡± she asked, ring at me. ¡°By your own ount, he¡¯s been treating you like shit after you did him this huge favor. While you were doing him this huge favor.¡± ¡°I know,¡± I nodded. ¡°I don¡¯t get it,¡± she said, shaking her head at me. ¡°Why are you cutting the guy so much ck? You admit that he¡¯s not the nicest guy and yet, it¡¯s like you want to make excuses for him at the same time.¡± ¡°I just¡­ He¡¯s had a rough time, okay?¡± I said, knowing that I was being extremely inconsistent. ¡°I guess I feel bad for him. Maybe he¡¯s in such a horrible mood all the time because life¡¯s been a bitch to him.¡± ¡°Have you ever heard of karma?¡± ¡°I have, and I believe it,¡± I said. ¡°But I also believe that sometimes shitty stuff happens to good people.¡± ¡°And, you think that Jake is a good person.¡± ¡°He served in the military,¡± I reminded her. ¡°He fought for our country; he risked his life over there.¡± ¡°Being a soldier doesn¡¯t automatically make you a good person,¡± Melody pointed out. ¡°Doesn¡¯t it?¡± I asked. ¡°It¡¯s this huge sacrifice¡­and you never know if you¡¯ll end uping back home.¡± ¡°So what are you trying to say?¡± she asked, pursing her lips at me. ¡°That justifies his right to treat you like crap?¡± ¡°No, of course not.¡± ¡°Your crush on him is getting out of hand.¡± ¡°Hey!¡± I said defensively. ¡°I do not have a crush on Jake.¡± Melody rolled her eyes at me. ¡°Sure, sure¡­if you say so.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t do that,¡± I said, with annoyance. ¡°I¡¯m being serious. In any case, I can¡¯t like him.¡± She frowned at me in confusion. ¡°What do you mean, you can¡¯t like him?¡± ¡°Uh¡­ Nothing¡­ Just that, he¡¯s my boss is all,¡± I said. ¡°I can¡¯t possibly have feelings for my boss.¡± ¡°That again?¡± Iughed. ¡°I¡¯m not giving him a free pass, okay?¡± I said. ¡°I just feel bad for him sometimes. He has a young son, and he lost his wife early in their marriage. He was plunged into single fatherhood without any warning. I mean, you have to sympathize.¡± Melody shrugged. ¡°Okay, it¡¯s a sad story,¡± she acknowledged atst. ¡°How do you know about his wife, anyhow?¡± ¡°Office gossip,¡± I said quickly. ¡°You seem to have got all the gossip on your hot boss,¡± she observed. ¡°Very suspicious if you ask me.¡± I rolled my eyes at Melody. ¡°I didn¡¯t move here to meet men,¡± I said firmly. ¡°I moved here too¡± ¡°Meet me?¡± Melody interrupted. Iughed. ¡°Most definitely,¡± I nodded. ¡°You just might be my soul mate.¡± ¡°You sure know how to butter a girl up,¡± she smiled, giving me a cheeky wink. ¡°How about we get this party started and crack open the ice cream.¡± ¡°Ice cream and wine coolers before dinner?¡± I asked. ¡°Why the fuck not?¡± she demanded. ¡°We¡¯re going to gain back all those calories we burned up at the gym,¡± I pointed out. ¡°That¡¯s the whole point,¡± Melody said. ¡°We both have sexy bodies, which means we work out to make up for the calories we¡¯re going to consumeter.¡± ¡°That makes sense.¡± ¡°Everything I say makes sense,¡± she agreed as she walked to her freezer and grabbed two cartons of ice cream and two spoons, and walked back to our cozy little huddle in her tiny living room. I opened the half-empty carton and poured on some of the wine before dunking my spoon in there. ¡°Damn that¡¯s good,¡± I sighed. Melody shook her head at me and popped arge spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. ¡°Men are idiots,¡± she said. ¡°Oh dear,¡± I said. ¡°What?¡± ¡°When you say something like that, it¡¯s almost always because there¡¯s a story that goes with it.¡± ¡°You know me so well,¡± she smiled. ¡°Remember the guy I met in the grocery store?¡± ¡°Uh no.¡± She looked at me with an annoyed expression. ¡°Yes, you do.¡± ¡°I honestly don¡¯t,¡± I said. ¡°You never mentioned him to me.¡± ¡°Shamus.¡± ¡°His name is Shamus?¡± I asked. ¡°Shamus,¡± Melody nodded. ¡°Dark hair, brown eyes, killer smile, and a great butt.¡± ¡°Still not ringing any bells.¡± ¡°Okay, I guess I didn¡¯t tell you then,¡± Melody said, with a shrug. ¡°So basically¡­I met him at the grocery store.¡± ¡°Right, got that part.¡± ¡°And we bonded in the cheese aisle,¡± she continued. ¡°We ended up at my apartment, and we had just finished fucking¡± ¡°You had sex with him?¡± I asked incredulously. ¡°Uh yeah¡­ Why?¡± ¡°You had just met him.¡± ¡°What¡¯s your point?¡± ¡°He was a stranger, and you brought him back to your apartment?¡± ¡°Still not understanding where you¡¯re going with this?¡± I smiled. ¡°He could have been an ax murderer or a rapist or something,¡± I said, thinking momentarily of Jake. ¡°And even if he were none of those things, he could still have had like three different STDs.¡± ¡°We used a condom, obviously,¡± Melody said. ¡°Still,¡± I said. ¡°The man was a stranger to you.¡± ¡°So?¡± she asked. ¡°I¡¯ve known couples who¡¯ve been married within a week of meeting one another, and they¡¯ve had epic love stories.¡± ¡°With each other?¡± I asked teasingly. ¡°Very funny,¡± she said, narrowing her eyes at me. ¡°It¡¯s possible.¡± ¡°So you¡¯re saying that you met Shamus at the grocery store and thought he had the potential to be ¡®the one¡¯ and so you brought him to your apartment and slept with him in the hope that one day you might marry him and bear his children.¡± ¡°When you say it like that, it sounds naive and cheesy.¡± ¡°If the shoe fits.¡± ¡°Bitch,¡± Melodyughed. ¡°I thought we had a connection, okay?¡± ¡°And¡­did you?¡± ¡°We did for the first hour. It sort of disintegrated the moment he came,¡± Melody said, with distaste. ¡°He put on his pants, and I was expecting some kind of¡­conversation, I suppose.¡± ¡°And, I¡¯m assuming he was thoroughly disappointed on that front?¡± ¡°He disappointed on all fronts, my friend,¡± Melody said. ¡°Even the sexual front. I was trying to engage him in conversation and was on the verge of asking him to stay for dinner when his phone started ringing. He answered it, said like three words, and then hung up. When I asked him if he could stay for dinner, he turned around, looked me in the eye, and said, and I quote, ¡®Sorry I¡¯ve got to go; that was my wife, and she wants me home for dinner.''¡± ¡°He was married,¡± I said. Melody sighed. ¡°Naturally, I got pissed off and asked him what he was doing fucking random women when he had a wife at home.¡± ¡°What did he say?¡± ¡°He assumed I was just looking for a fuck, too,¡± Melody said. ¡°So I got angrier and started yelling, and he got the hell out of my apartment. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever see him again.¡± ¡°Geez,¡± I said. ¡°The guys you attract are seriously insane.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not my fault I¡¯m a hopeless romantic.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t understand how you can just jump into bed with a random stranger.¡± ¡°Are you telling me that you¡¯ve never fucked a guy you¡¯ve just met?¡± I hesitated a second. Melody didn¡¯t need to know that I was a virgin. I knew she¡¯d freak out if she did, and I¡¯d have to spend the rest of the night exining my choice to her. ¡°No,¡± I replied. ¡°Such a Virgin Mary.¡± I snorted withughter and Melody looked at me with a puzzled expression on her face, obviously unaware of the secret¡­my other secret. I realized suddenly that I was juggling a lot of different secrets all at the same time. Of course, being a virgin wasn¡¯t such a big deal in the grand scheme of things, especially in light of my position as Jake¡¯s assistant. But the reference did almost make meugh out loud, especially given that I was exactly like Mary in that I was a virgin, too a closeted virgin, but a virgin nheless. I still didn¡¯t want to admit that to Melody, though. It wasn¡¯t that I was ashamed or anything. I just didn¡¯t want to have to exin my reasons to her. Nor did I want to have to fend off all the guys she would undoubtedly throw my way. ¡°You¡¯re thinking of your boss again, aren¡¯t you?¡± Melody asked. My eyes went wide with surprise, and I knew I had just given myself away with that reaction. ¡°Uh, no.¡± ¡°Liar,¡± Melodyughed. ¡°I can tell.¡± ¡°How?¡± I demanded, more than a little impressed. ¡°You have this look on your face when you talk about him,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯s like you want to save him and fuck him all at the same time. It¡¯s precious.¡± ¡°Shut up.¡± Sheughed. ¡°You know, have you ever considered the possibility that he might share your feelings?¡± ¡°Okay, number one, I don¡¯t have feelings for my boss,¡± I said firmly. ¡°And number two, what the hell are you talking about?¡± ¡°The way he¡¯s acting around you,¡± she said. ¡°You bring out strong emotions in him; maybe all the sexual tension building up inside him is what¡¯s causing him to behave like this.¡± ¡°That makes no sense.¡± ¡°The male mind isplex,¡± Melody said. ¡°Sometimes the reasons why they behave a certain way is not immediately obvious. I think Jake might have a little thing for you otherwise, he would have behaved normally towards you after that.¡± ¡°I think you¡¯ve had enough wine for tonight,¡± I said. ¡°You just don¡¯t like that I may be right about this.¡± ¡°Jake is a pretty straightforward guy,¡± I said. ¡°I think if he were interested in someone, he would juste right out and say it.¡± ¡°But you¡¯re forgetting that you¡¯re his employee,¡± she pointed out. ¡°Maybe he¡¯s scared to approach him because, in the event, it goes wrong, you could sue him for sexual harassment.¡± ¡°You think too much,¡± I said, shaking my head at her. Just then the doorbell rang, and Melody rose to answer it. ¡°Fine, stick to your guns as much as you want,¡± she said as she headed towards the door. ¡°Go ahead and cling to denial. But I see you, Kristen. There¡¯s more to your rtionship with Jake than just superior and subordinate.¡± I bit my lip and suppressed a sigh. If Melody only knew, I thought to myself. Episode 12 Jake¡¯s [POV] The beach was quiet on this side. The sea stretched out for miles in curling waves of blue and green. I had already run three miles when Luis found me. ¡°Sanchez,¡± I said as we sped hands before bumping our shoulders together in what qualified as a hug. ¡°It¡¯s been a while.¡± Luis smiled. ¡°You look good, Middleton,¡± he said, and he looked me over carefully. ¡°It¡¯s like you never left the army.¡± ¡°I make sure to run at least three times a week,¡± I told him. ¡°How do you even manage to find the time?¡± ¡°I drop Noah off at kindergarten, do a seven-mile run, and head into the office a littlete.¡± ¡°Perks of being the CEO, huh?¡± he asked. ¡°Definitely,¡± I nodded. I met Luis Sanchez when I was still a rookie in training. He was a marine and had a couple of years and a whole lot of experience with me. But it had taken one conversation to make us friends, and even though we were part of separate divisions, we had worked together in Afghanistan and had made the attempt to keep in touch after I had retired from the army. It had been more than a year since I¡¯dst seen Luis, but he didn¡¯t look any different. Dark eyes, tan skin, and a shaved head that you could bounce a quarter off of. He was a few inches shorter than I was, stockier, and heavily built, but he was one of the finest and most disciplined fighters I had ever seen. We started walking along the coast as wavespped at our feet. ¡°How¡¯s it?¡± I asked. ¡°Over there?¡± Luis smiled. ¡°The same as it was when you were serving,¡± he responded. I looked out into the ocean and imagined the dry heat of Afghanistan. Was it odd that a part of me missed it? I wondered. Maybe it wasn¡¯t thend¡­ Maybe it had to do to be there. Maybe it was because I knew who I was when I was serving. My life was straightforward and uplicated. I had a job to do, and I enjoyed doing it. But now¡­ Everything was different. I was no longer in the army, I was no longer a major, and I no longer had the same sense of purpose I had once had. ¡°Do you miss it?¡± Luis asked as though he had read my mind. ¡°Is it weird if I said yes?¡± He smiled. ¡°Hey, I happen to understand where you¡¯reing from. When I¡¯m over there, I miss it here. But the moment I¡¯m here¡­ I can¡¯t wait to leave again. But it¡¯s different for me.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Because I have no one toe home to,¡± he said.Please check at N/?vel(D)rama.Org. ¡°You have parents,¡± I pointed out. ¡°That¡¯s different,¡± Luis rified. ¡°My parents have each other. They have two other sons and five grandchildren to upy themselves with. They don¡¯t depend on me for anything. Having a family of your own is a whole other thing, though.¡± ¡°What if you did have a wife?¡± I asked. ¡°What if you had kids?¡± ¡°I would keep serving until the day I died, or they begged me to retire,¡± Luis said. ¡°I would have had to keep saying goodbye to my wife and my children, and they would have had to live with the uncertainty of my career and the fear of knowing that every time I leave, I might nevere home again. That is why I will never get married.¡± I bit my lip. A part of me wished I had been that smart when I was younger. I remembered the first few months of my courtship with Daphne. It had made me stronger; she had breathed new life into me, and I had gotten caught up in the moment. I had never stopped to think about the future or the freedom we were sacrificing to be together. ¡°You made the right choice, Middleton,¡± Luis said. ¡°You made the right choice by leaving the military. Noah needed you. And, you¡¯ve done amazing things since you left. It¡¯s rare for a Major to give up his position like that. It¡¯s even rarer to find him managing a wholepany within a couple of years of his retirement.¡± I smiled. ¡°Some days I prefer the military.¡± Luisughed. ¡°It¡¯s funny,¡± he said. ¡°The first day I met you, I looked at you and thought, that guy was made to serve. He was made to be a soldier. But now I look at your life, and I think, this is where he¡¯s meant to be. I think that¡¯s how life works. We end up where we¡¯re meant to end up.¡± ¡°Very poetic,¡± I said. ¡°I didn¡¯t know you were such a softie.¡± ¡°Just philosophical,¡± Luisughed. ¡°I¡¯ve been reading a lot of Khalil Gibrantely.¡± ¡°Daphne used to read him,¡± I said, mostly to myself. ¡°How is Noah?¡± Luis asked. ¡°He¡¯s¡­doing well,¡± I said. ¡°He¡¯s four now.¡± ¡°They grow up so fast,¡± Luis nodded. ¡°Do you have a picture?¡± I took out my phone and showed Louis a couple of recent photos of Noah. He was smiling in all of them and looking bashfully at the camera. ¡°He¡¯s a looker.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t he, though?¡± I said proudly. ¡°I can¡¯t see any Daphne in him, though,¡± Luis said. ¡°He¡¯s your spitting image.¡± ¡°Daphne used to say the same thing,¡± I nodded. ¡°People just tell me he looks like Daphne because they think that¡¯s what I want to hear. They think somehow that¡¯ll make me feel better.¡± ¡°People don¡¯t always know what to do with loss,¡± Luis pointed out. ¡°They tend to react strangely.¡± I thought about my behaviorst week towards Kristen and felt instantly ashamed. Despite my shame, though, I still hadn¡¯t worked up the willingness or the courage to apologize to her. I had been downright rude to her all week long. I wasn¡¯t exactly sure what that was about; I just saw her and I would hear myself barking instructions without even bothering to meet her eye. I had sensed her hurt the whole week, but I still wasn¡¯t sure why I just didn¡¯t man up and say I was sorry. She had been doing me a favor, and I had treated her terribly. A part of me wondered why she hadn¡¯t quit already, and I realized at that moment perhaps that was my unconscious reasoning. Maybe I felt that if I treated her badly enough, then she would leave and I wouldn¡¯t have to see her around the office anymore. ¡°How have you been?¡± Luis asked. ¡°Fine,¡± I replied. ¡°Is it still difficult coping with Daphne¡¯s death?¡± I hesitated a moment. ¡°You know what?¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about that.¡± He was quiet for a second, and I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my face. ¡°So basically you haven¡¯t been coping.¡± ¡°It¡¯s been three years since she died,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve coped and moved on.¡± ¡°Then why is it so hard for you to talk about her?¡± I was starting to feel angry. When I said I didn¡¯t want to talk about Daphne, people automatically avoided the subject. I hated the fact that Sanchez was forcing me to confront the memories that I was desperately trying to forget. ¡°Because she¡¯s dead,¡± I snapped. ¡°Death isn¡¯t always the easiest thing to talk about.¡± ¡°You were in the army,¡± he continued,pletely unfazed by my obvious annoyance. ¡°Your wife was in the army. Surely, death is something you need toe to terms with.¡± ¡°What are you saying?¡± I demanded. ¡°Because we were in the army, I should have expected this to happen. I should have expected to lose my wife?¡± ¡°Not expected to, no,¡± Luis said calmly. ¡°But you had to have known it was a possibility. Surely, you were prepared for it?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about this,¡± I reiterated firmly. I started walking faster down the beach, almost as though I wanted to outrun Luis and get away from his questions, but he matched my pace, refusing to be shaken off. ¡°Have you at least spoken to someone about this?¡± ¡°About what?¡± ¡°About Daphne, about Noah, about raising a child alone after losing your wife so suddenly,¡± Luis continued. ¡°You should talk to someone about it, Middleton. What about a shrink?¡± ¡°You think I need a therapist?¡± I demanded, stopping short and turning to face Sanchez. ¡°Why not?¡± he said, with a shrug. ¡°It¡¯s obvious you¡¯re not talking to friends or family about this. It¡¯s been three years, and you¡¯re acting like Daphne died two weeks ago.¡± ¡°Fuck you,¡± I said, trying to walk away from him. ¡°You have a lot of anger pent up in there,¡± Luis said, sticking me in the chest. ¡°That can¡¯t be healthy for you, and it certainly can¡¯t be healthy for your son.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t talk about Noah,¡± I said fiercely. ¡°My son is fine.¡± ¡°How can he be?¡± Luis demanded. ¡°When his father is so obviously a mess.¡± Before I could stop myself, before I could even think, my hand balled itself into a fist and screamed through the air before making contact with the side of Luis¡¯s jaw. It was a big punch, but Luis stumbled back only a few feet before managing to regain his footing. He looked slightly surprised, but he was smiling as he rubbed his jaw. ¡°Wow, you¡¯ve still got some bite to your punch.¡± ¡°Fuck,¡± I said, taking a step forward. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ I¡­ That was¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it,¡± Luis said, waving away my apology. ¡°I asked for it.¡± ¡°You kind of did,¡± I nodded. He smiled. ¡°I¡¯m d to see you¡¯re at least letting out some of that anger.¡± ¡°I¡­¡± I started to say something, but then I realized I didn¡¯t know what to say. Luis put a hand on my shoulder. ¡°You¡¯ve got a lot to work through, Jake,¡± he said, using my first name. It was a sign that he was seriously concerned about me and wanted to help in any way that he could, even if it meant exposing me to some harsh realities. ¡°I know,¡± I admitted. ¡°I¡¯m d you¡¯re aware of that,¡± he said. ¡°Because your son is going to need you. He needs a father that¡¯s present and happy and at peace with the past.¡± I sighed. ¡°How can I be at peace with the past, Luis?¡± I asked. ¡°Especially how things were between Daphne and me thosest few months before she was deployed.¡± ¡°Figure it out, Jake,¡± Luis said gently. ¡°You have to for Noah¡¯s sake. You have to be both parents for him, and that means you have to fight harder to deal with your demons. Otherwise, they¡¯re going to eat you whole, and your son is going to suffer for it.¡± I sighed. ¡°Serving in the military was easier,¡± I said, looking out towards the ocean as I tried to find a silver lining. ¡°This is going to be just as much of a battle for you,¡± Luis agreed. ¡°But you have to keep reminding yourself that you can do this.¡± ¡°What if I can¡¯t?¡± ¡°You were a major in the army,¡± he pointed out. ¡°You have the discipline and the determination. Now you just need the hope.¡± ¡°Hope,¡± I sighed. ¡°Hope is the hardest emotion to summon.¡± Luis patted me hard on the back. ¡°It¡¯s also the hardest emotion to kill.¡± Episode 13 Kristen¡¯s [POV] ¡°Today¡¯s going to be different,¡± I told myself, looking at my reflection in the mirror. Giving myself pep talks while staring at various reflective surfaces seemed to be my morning ritual now. I had woken up feeling reasonably happy, and I hoped that the feeling wouldst through the day. I was wearing a pencil skirt and a cored blouse with billowy sleeves. It was perhaps a little much for a personal assistant, but I wanted to feel confident today. I had worn my hair down and added a little mascara and eyeliner for extra effect. I walked into work feeling positive for the first time in ages. I was going to take control of the situation, I told myself repeatedly as I walked to my desk. I was not going to let Jake¡¯s attitude bother me one bit. I was going to do my job, be professional, and allow him to vent out whatever frustrations he was working through. Jake had still not arrived when I sat down at my desk, so I took the opportunity to get myself some coffee and do some paperwork. I had just finished arranging his schedule for the day when he walked in. I saw himing from the corner of my eye and stood up for no reason. Take control of the situation, I told myself. Don¡¯t let him ignore you. With that refrain reeling in my head, I made direct eye contact and gave Jake a smile that was perhaps a little wider than it needed to be. ¡°Good morning, Mr. Middleton,¡± I said, in a cheerful voice. He barely nced in my direction. His eyes flitted to me for a short moment, he nodded once, and then he disappeared into his office and mmed the door in my face. Irritated and angry, I could feel my good mood slip away from me. He had no right to treat me this way. He hadn¡¯t even offered me an exnation for this bizarre reaction the night I had babysat for Noah. I took a deep breath and went over to the lunchroom where I got together a special blend of cinnamon coffee for Jake and headed to his office with fresh determination. I knocked on the twice, short, sharp raps that indicated I meant business. I was met with only silence, so I was forced to knock again. ¡°What is it?¡± Jake¡¯s annoyed voice sounded from the other side. I pushed the door open and walked in without an invitation. I could tell from Jake¡¯s expression that he was not happy with the intrusion. I rarely came into his office without reason. ¡°I didn¡¯t call you,¡± he said tersely. ¡°I¡¯m aware of that, sir,¡± I said, struggling to keep my tone polite. ¡°I just thought you might like some cinnamon coffee. They brought in a new blend only yesterday, and I remembered that meeting where you specifically requested cinnamon coffee.¡± Jake looked stunned for a moment. Then I saw his eyebrows rise a little. ¡°So¡­you remembered that little detail and brought me cinnamon coffee this morning?¡± ¡°I did,¡± I nodded. ¡°I already had coffee on my way here,¡± he said, ncing down at his papers. I paused. ¡°You can never have too many cups of coffee,¡± I said, forcing the smile to stay on my face. ¡°Why don¡¯t you try it? It¡¯s really good.¡± ¡°You tried my coffee?¡± ¡°Uh no, of course, I didn¡¯t try your coffee,¡± I said. ¡°I had some coffee myself a little while ago. It was good, so I can rmend it.¡± Jake looked slightly nonplussed, but I refused to excuse myself just yet. I was going to power through this awkwardness that stood between us for thest few weeks. I wasn¡¯t sure how much more of it I could take, but I didn¡¯t want to have to quit, either. ¡°Kristen,¡± Jake said, saying my name for the first time in a week. ¡°I¡¯m really busy, and I¡¯ve made myself extremely in before. I don¡¯t like interruptions. I expect to find you in my office when I¡¯ve asked you into my office.¡± I set the cup of coffee down on his desk, wondering if he would drink it once I¡¯d left or just throw it out. I knew he expected me to leave, but I simply could not abide by the way he was treating me. ¡°How¡¯s Noah?¡± I blurted out. Jake raised his eyebrows, and I detected slight anger in the downward tilt of his mouth. ¡°I have work to do,¡± he said. ¡°I don¡¯t have time for small talk.¡± ¡°He cut his hand,¡± I said. ¡°Has it healed yet? Of course, it would have healed. That was weeks ago, but I was just so desperate to find a way out of the awkward work environment that had encapsted metely that I was willing to bring up anything. You need to change the bandage,¡± I added when Jake didn¡¯t say anything. ¡°You don¡¯t think I¡¯m aware of that?¡± Jake snapped. ¡°I¡¯m his father; I know what¡¯s best for him.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to suggest that you didn¡¯t,¡± I said, holding my ground. ¡°I just wanted to make sure his hand was alright.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± Jake said shortly. ¡°It healed a while ago.¡± ¡°That¡¯s good,¡± I nodded. ¡°And the leaf project he was working on¡­ How did that go in school?¡± I saw the furrow of Jake¡¯s eyebrows, and I realized immediately that he had no clue that Noah had a leaf project toplete. I could also tell that he didn¡¯t want to admit that. He stood up and narrowed his eyes at me. ¡°Go back to your desk,¡± he said, in amanding voice that reminded me he had served in the military. ¡°Now.¡± I held his gaze for one second and then nodded, having finally lost my smile. ¡°Enjoy your coffee,¡± I said curtly. ¡°Take it with you,¡± he said. ¡°I don¡¯t want it.¡± I bristled at how rude he was being, and instead of embarrassing myself further, I picked up the coffee I had brought him and headed out the door. By the time I sat back down at my desk, I was fuming. I felt angry tears prick at the corner of my eyes and wanted to scream or throw something or storm back into Jake¡¯s office just to tell him I was quitting because he was such an obnoxious jerk. I almost stood at one point, but fear won out as I realized that I was still too nervous to confront him that openly or confront him at all. Frustrated at me by this point, I turned to myputer to try to get some work done, but I couldn¡¯t seem to concentrate on anything. Every time I tried to get something done, I found myself rehearsing the speech I would use to chew out Jake in my head. ¡°Fuck it,¡± I said to myself as I opened my email and started typing on a whim. ¡°Jake,¡± I started, refusing to call him sir or Mr. Middleton, which was how I usually referred to him. ¡°Over thest few weeks, you have behaved incredibly unprofessionally towards me. I understand I am your subordinate, and you are my superior, but that does give you the right to treat me as you have for thest few weeks. I have done my best to do everything you have asked of me; I even went out of my way to do you a favor and babysit your son. And how did you choose to show your appreciation for that bit of kindness? You kicked me out of your apartment at four in the morning, forcing me to walk the streets of San Diego like somemon hooker. I could have been raped or murdered or worse.¡± I knew I was getting a little carried away. I knew the email was teetering off into strange ces, but I didn¡¯t care.Please check at N/?vel(D)rama.Org. It was therapeutic to get it out, and I was feeling a little better as I put it all down. Halfway through writing the email, I realized I was never actually going to send it, but it didn¡¯t matter. I wanted to get everything off my chest, and this was proving to be extremely helpful. ¡°How would you have felt then, Jake? What if my dismembered corpse had turned up in some lonely alleyway? Would you have even cared? Probably not, because there are innately selfish people, and these people don¡¯t give a flying fuck about the little man. I have realized that you are one of those people. ¡°I have to say I¡¯m disappointed. When I first took this job, I was proud to work under someone who had served our country. In my mind, you were a hero. More than that, I thought you were a good man and a decent human being. But apparently, you are neither. No, you are a selfish, arrogant prick who thinks you can just use people and then discard them afterward. I didn¡¯t expect anything more than a thank you that night. But all I got was a cruel awakening. ¡°You, Jake Middleton, maybe the CEO of thispany and you may have been a major in the military, but I regret to inform you that you are also aplete and total jerk. That¡¯s right, a jerk. ¡°You know what? Jerk is too nice a term for you. I¡¯ll go with asshole, bastard, and douchebag. They seem more appropriate. You may rank above me, but that does not mean you are better than me. It does not give you the right to treat me like a ve and a non-person. I am a human being, and I deserve and demand respect. ¡°Yours sincerely, Kristen.¡± The moment I finished typing, I let out a breath of air and felt instantly better. I stared at the email I had just written and cracked a smile. I wondered how Jake would react if I sent it. I sighed. ¡°I can¡¯t send it,¡± I said. I moved my finger left slightly towards the discard icon just as the door to Jake¡¯s office opened, and he stepped out. He looked in my general direction without actually meeting my eyes. ¡°Have you finished my schedule for the week?¡± he demanded. ¡°Uh¡­yes,¡± I nodded. ¡°Then what are you waiting for?¡± he asked with one raised eyebrow. ¡°Send it to me immediately.¡± Then he disappeared back into his office, and I was left biting my tongue to keep from screaming out a string of profanities. When I hadposed myself somewhat, I looked down at my screen and realized immediately that something was not right. ¡°Wait,¡± I said, staring at the little fluttering icon in the middle of my screen that told me an email was being sent. ¡°Wait¡­ No, no, no¡­ This can¡¯t be happening.¡± My finger had identally pressed the send button when Jake had been barking at me about the schedule. There was no way to retrieve it now. It would have alreadynded in his inbox, and there was nothing I could do about it. ¡°Fuck,¡± I said desperately, trying to figure out a way to take the email back. ¡°Fuck, fuck, fuck!¡± ¡°Kristen?¡± I looked up to see one of the other personal assistants walking through. She looked at me with concern. ¡°Is everything alright?¡± ¡°No everything is not alright,¡± I said, with my eyes still glued to my screen. ¡°I think I just made a huge mistake.¡± ¡°Oh¡­ Well, can it be fixed?¡± Mona asked. ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± I cried, putting my head in my hands. ¡°What are you going to do?¡± she asked. I bit my lip. ¡°I think I¡¯m going to have to start looking for a new job.¡± Episode 14 Jake¡¯s [POV] I had been aplete dick to Kristen, and I knew it. To make matters worse, I hadn¡¯t been able to stop thinking about that cinnamon coffee she had brought me earlier. I knew I should have gone out there and said something to her. I should have apologized for the way I¡¯d been treating her, but my pride prevented me from doing that. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, wondering if at the heart of it, I wasn¡¯t the great guy I had always thought I was. Was that why things with Daphne derailed so fast toward the end? I wondered. Maybe it had nothing to do with Noah and his birth. Maybe it had everything to do with me. I had spent the weeks and months following Daphne¡¯s funeral thinking about thosest few weeks before she had been deployed. They had been the most stressful and disheartening weeks of my life. Daphne and I had spent thosest two weeks tiptoeing around one another. We barely stayed in the same room together because we both knew that if we did, then we would talk to one another, and it would inevitably end up in a fight. So we had lived in the same house, slept in the same bed, and eaten at the same table, but our lives were already separate. There were moments when it felt like she had already gone. She would be sitting across from me at the dinner table, and it felt like she was a thousand miles away. I used to watch her with Noah sometimes. She would kiss his head and his cheeks and say sweet words to him and hug him close to her and it never made sense to me. Nothing she ever said in those months made sense to me. And maybe that was the real reason she wanted to leave again. She certainly couldn¡¯t lean on me, and stubborn as I was, I¡¯d never let her feel like she could in the first ce. Sighing, I tried to concentrate on my work, but nothing seemed to hold my attention for long. I decided to open up my mail and check for new messages. I had a few emails that didn¡¯t seem so important, and one from my aunt in Colorado. She checked in with me now and again, and I made sure to stay in touch because she was the only real family I had left. Of course, Isabelle was family too, but ever since Daphne¡¯s death, she had started traveling. It was a way to escape and I understood that, but it also meant that we didn¡¯t see her as often as we used to. She and I kept in contact only sporadically and when we did, it was all about Noah and not much else. I noticed an email from Kristen that had been sent about an hour ago. There was no subject, which was off because she usually told me exactly why she was emailing in the subject line. I opened it up and started reading. The first line had my eyebrows up, and it soon became clear what the email was. It was a personal letter that she had penned in frustration and anger, and it was chewing me out for the way I had been treating her over thest few weeks. At first, I was slightly annoyed by her tone and her bluntly direct insults. But as I read more and more of it, I realized that she had every right to write to me and every right to be outraged by my treatment of her. Somehow, I didn¡¯t think she had it in her, but I was impressed that she had sent me the letter, at all. I read the letter once and then re-read it a second time. The second reading had me smiling a little, and I realized it was quite amusing. I didn¡¯t take it lightly, nor was I brushing off her hurt; I just happened to like the spirit she showed. The third time I read through the email, I started thinking about Daphne. She¡¯d had the same fire in her. She was straightforward and forthright, and she was not afraid to say what she had to or call me out when she thought I was being a dick. That was what I had missed most about her after Noah¡¯s birth. She had transformed into someone I didn¡¯t recognize. I kept waiting for her to call me out half the time, and she never did. That should have tipped me off right there. She needed me, she was so far gone that she wasn¡¯t herself anymore, and I should have seen that. There was something about Kristen¡¯s letter that reminded me of Daphne. And instead of depressing me, it made me feel¡­better somehow. I liked the fact that she had referred to me as Jake in the email,pletely ignoring the way she usually addressed me. I felt like something between us had shifted now, and I would always be just Jake to her. I realized I liked the informality. I was about to go talk to Kristen, but then I decided to send her an email in return. I clicked reply and started typing. ¡°Kristen,¡± I wrote. ¡°I received your email. I have to admit I was surprised to get it, but on the third reading, I realized that you arepletely right. Now that I¡¯ve officially gotten off my high horse, I would like to apologize for my behavior. I had no right to treat you as I have for thest few weeks. I would like to offer you a legitimate excuse for my behavior, but unfortunately, I have none. Sincerely, Jake.¡± I pressed send and watched my email transfer. I sat back and smiled at the screen, wondering what Kristen¡¯s reaction to my apology would be. I was still lost in thought when I saw my inbox blink as a new email came in from her. All it said was, ¡°I never meant to send that email.¡± I almostughed out loud. It was only one concise sentence, and yet I could sense how mortified she was. ¡°Really?¡± I replied. ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°Um¡­ I was venting, and I wrote the letter, and I identally pressed send instead of delete when you walked out here an hour ago.¡± ¡°I see. You were venting¡­by email?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a cathartic tool that any good therapist will rmend.¡± ¡°You see a therapist?¡± I replied. ¡°No, I don¡¯t see a therapist. I can¡¯t afford a therapist¡­ My point is that it¡¯s a legitimate practice venting by writing down your feelings. You don¡¯t have to send it; it just makes you feel better.¡± ¡°And did it?¡± I wrote. ¡°Make you feel better?¡± ¡°It did until I realized I had sent it and then I started freaking out because I like this job.¡± ¡°You assumed I would fire you?¡± ¡°Umm, yes.¡± ¡°Would you mind stepping into my office please?¡± I wrote finally, tired of the constant emailing back and forth. ¡°I¡¯d like to have a face-to-face chat with you.¡± I didn¡¯t get a reply back, so I assumed she was making her way into the office. Except one minute turned into two and then two minutes turned into five, and I wondered what was keeping her. I stood up and walked to the door. When I looked outside, I saw that Kristen was sitting by her desk, staring at her screen as though she didn¡¯t know what to do. When she saw me standing there, she did a double take and clutched her heart. ¡°Jesus, I didn¡¯t even see you standing there.¡± ¡°You were busy staring off into nothing.¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t staring off at nothing,¡± she replied. ¡°I was staring at yourst email.¡± I smiled. ¡°And, what about myst email was so confusing?¡± ¡°I¡­ I¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m not going to bite, Kristen,¡± I said, atst. ¡°I just thought it would be easier to talk in here, rather than out there. But if you prefer¡­¡± I made it as if to move toward her desk, but she stood up immediately. ¡°No, you¡¯re right,¡± she said in a panicked voice. ¡°We¡¯ll talk inside. It¡¯ll be¡­better.¡± I could tell she was nervous, and for a moment, that perplexed me. Was I so scared that the thought of talking directly to me had her so unraveled? She was fiddling with her fingers as she walked into my office, she bumped into the chair, and she seemed to be biting her lip a lot. ¡°You seem nervous,¡± I said bluntly, sitting down in front of her. ¡°Uh¡­ I suppose I am.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Because of the letter,¡± she replied. ¡°I told you that you were right, Kristen,¡± I said. ¡°And, I meant it. I shouldn¡¯t have apologized over email, though. I should have done it face-to-face, so I¡¯ll do it now. I¡¯m sorry for how I¡¯ve been treating you thesest few weeks.¡± Kristen stared at me for a moment as though she wasn¡¯t sure whether to believe me or not. ¡°You¡¯re serious?¡± she said atst. ¡°Of course, I¡¯m serious.¡± ¡°So your apology was sincere?¡± I frowned. ¡°Did you think I was pulling your leg?¡± ¡°I can¡¯t always read you,¡± she said honestly. ¡°It makes me nervous sometimes because you¡¯re not predictable. I thought you might be making fun of me before you fired me.¡± I don¡¯t know why that upset me so much, but it did. I felt this deep-seated disappointment in myself and wondered how I had be this kind of guy. ¡°I hate that you think I would be capable of doing something like that,¡± I said. Kristen frowned at me and looked like she wanted to say something, but she was holding her tongue because I was still her boss. ¡°What is it?¡± I asked gently. ¡°You can tell me.¡± ¡°Well¡­ Given how things went recently, I wasn¡¯t willing to put anything past you,¡± she exined haltingly. I deserved that, but it still hurt. ¡°I am sorry sincerely,¡± I reiterated. ¡°I know I was aplete jerk and worse and everything you said in your first email was absolutely on point.¡± ¡°You¡¯re not mad at me?¡± Kristen asked uncertainly. ¡°No, I¡¯m not,¡± I said honestly. ¡°I¡¯m mad at myself for how I¡¯ve behaved towards you. I waspletely out of line and very unprofessional. You did me a favor even though you didn¡¯t have to, and I repaid you by kicking you out in the middle of the night. When I think about it now, I can¡¯t quite believe that was me.¡± ¡°You know, you could benefit from writing your feelings down,¡± Kristen said, and even though her tone was light, I could sense the seriousness underlying it. ¡°It seems like you have a lot of pent-up frustration.¡± ¡°You have no idea,¡± I replied darkly. ¡°In any case, I want to make it up to you.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± she said, sounding immediately nervous. ¡°No, really, that¡¯s not necessary. All I wanted was an apology, and now that I¡¯ve got it, I¡¯m happy.¡± ¡°That¡¯s big of you, but you did suffer through weeks of my uncouth behavior towards you,¡± I said. ¡°So it¡¯s only fair that I try to make amends by taking you out to dinner.¡± Her eyes went wide with surprise. She had not expected that, and I was a little surprised at my suggestion. I had made a spur-of-the-moment decision, but I realized that I didn¡¯t want to rescind the offer. ¡°What do you say?¡± I asked. ¡°Uh¡­ Well¡­ I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°It¡¯s the least I can do,¡± I insisted. ¡°I have a meeting today at six. Hopefully, it should finish by seven, seven-thirty at thetest. We can go for dinner afterward. I know this great little fusion ce a few blocks from here.¡± She just sat there silently for a while, considering my offer. ¡°Tonight?¡± she asked tentatively. ¡°Yes,¡± I nodded. ¡°Unless you have ns?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t.¡± ¡°Great,¡± I nodded. ¡°Then it¡¯s settled?¡± ¡°Um¡­sure.¡± I smiled. ¡°Great, I¡¯ll call my babysitter and tell her she needs to stay a few hours longer.¡± Kristen hesitated for a moment. ¡°I guess¡­ I¡¯ll get back to my desk then.¡± I nodded and watched her walk out. She had simrities to Daphne, but there was something different about her, too. She was unlike Daphne in that she was a little shyer and a little less confident.N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. But I sensed that Kristen had the same strength that Daphne had she just didn¡¯t know it yet. Episode 15 Kristen¡¯s [POV] I had to admit it I was freaking out just a little bit. He had asked me out. Okay, so maybe he hadn¡¯t asked me out¡­ But he was taking me out to a restaurant for dinner. Yes, it was after work, and we¡¯d be dressed professionally, and we¡¯d probably spend the whole night talking about thepany and the recent business merger that went through, but it was still dinner¡­ Alone¡­ With Jake. I ran to the bathroom the first chance I got and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I was d I had opted for the white blouse today, but I still looked like someone¡¯s secretary. ¡°Stop it,¡± I told myself. ¡°Who cares what you¡¯re wearing; this is not a date. It¡¯s just an apology dinner.¡± It was hard to calm down, however, and I found myself reaching into my purse and refreshing my lipstick, and straightening out my hair as though I was getting ready for the date. When seven o¡¯clock came around, I found myself checking the time every five seconds. Finally, Jake emerged at seven-ten. ¡°Are you ready to head out?¡± he asked casually. ¡°Yes,¡± I nodded. We walked together towards thepany parking lot where Jake had a special parking spot cordoned off, especially for him. To my utter surprise, he held the passenger side door open for me. I slipped into the seat and tried to remember the take deep breaths. A momentter, Jake slid into ce beside me, and we headed off. His car was a fancy sports model, but I was more impressed with his driving. He was sensible on the roads and didn¡¯t drive like he had an ego. When we got to the restaurant, it was unbelievably crowded. I looked awkwardly at Jake. ¡°Um, I think we might need a reservation to get in here.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± he replied. ¡°We have one.¡± I was oddly ttered that he had called earlier in the evening to book a table. We were led to the back of the restaurant which featured little alcoves partially cut off from the rest of the space and offering up a little privacy. I slipped into the booth and reminded myself to breathe again. We ordered our food immediately, and Jake took the liberty of ordering drinks, too. Then the waiter disappeared, and it was just Jake and me, sitting across the table from one another. ¡°You must be relieved that Hatanaka and Company agreed to the deal,¡± I said, blurting out the one safe thing I had thought about on the way here because I was too afraid of the silence. ¡°I am,¡± Jake nodded. ¡°It¡¯ll ease up things considerably for thepany, and it means we can expand our budgets in a few ces.¡± ¡°That¡¯s great,¡± I said. ¡°How was Mr. Hatanaka?¡± Jake raised his eyebrows. ¡°Do you care?¡± I snorted withughter. ¡°Not really.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t think so.¡± ¡°I just¡­¡± ¡°Talking about work is safe,¡± he said, finishing my sentence much more eloquently than I would have. ¡°I get it.¡± He was different tonight, and I could see the change in his face. He was smiling with his eyes, not just with his mouth. His dark blue eyes were clearer and more open, and he seemed more rxed, too, as though talking to me earlier had released all the frustration he had pent up throughout thest few weeks. ¡°Did I mention how sorry I am for what happened the night you babysat Noah?¡± he said. I smiled. ¡°You¡¯ve already apologized, Jake.¡± ¡°I know, but given howte it was, I think I need to reiterate,¡± he said. ¡°And, as you mentioned yourself¡­you could have been raped or murdered. And if your dismembered corpse had been found in some alleyway, I would have been devastated.¡± I blushed scarlet. ¡°Oh God,¡± I said, putting my head in my hands. ¡°I wrote that, didn¡¯t I?¡± ¡°You did,¡± he replied, and he sounded intensely amused. ¡°Is there any way you could delete that email?¡± I groaned. ¡°Not a chance,¡± he said, shaking his head. ¡°I quite liked that email, once I got over all the insults; it was quite interesting to read.¡± ¡°You¡¯re making fun of me now, aren¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Only in the best possible way.¡± Iughed. ¡°Is there such a thing?¡± ¡°Of course,¡± Jake nodded. The waiter brought over our drinks, and I took a sip and allowed myself to rx a little. Now that we were out of the stifling air of the office, I found that I was a little more at ease. ¡°How is Noah?¡± I asked, repeating my question from this morning. ¡°He¡¯s good,¡± Jake replied. Then he let out a big sigh. ¡°I didn¡¯t know about his leaf project until you mentioned it.¡± ¡°Well¡­you¡¯re busy.¡± ¡°Too busy for my son?¡± It sounded like this was something he beat himself up about all the time. ¡°I should have known about the damn project. I should have been there to help him with it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the thing about being a single parent,¡± I saidfortingly. ¡°You can¡¯t be there for everything.¡± ¡°He¡¯s such a good kid.¡± Jake sounded sad. ¡°He deserves better.¡± ¡°He has a father who loves him,¡± I said. ¡°In my opinion, he¡¯s already won. Trust me, I never had a father who cared, and it affected me a lot growing up.¡± I felt instantly exposed as Jake¡¯s eyesnded on me. To pass over the moment, I jumped ahead before he could ask me about my deadbeat dad or sordid past. ¡°Noah knows how much you love him,¡± I said. ¡°He talked about you a lot when I was babysitting him.¡± ¡°Did he?¡± Jake asked, sounding pleased and maybe even a little hopeful. ¡°Of course,¡± I nodded. ¡°He spoke about how brave you were when you were a ¡®fighter,¡¯ as he put it, and how you row boats now.¡± Jake smiled. ¡°He hasn¡¯t quite figured out what I do now.¡± ¡°Give him a few years.¡± ¡°Right,¡± heughed. It was so strange to me how different he was. This was not Jake the CEO or Jake the single father or even Jake, Major in the military. This was Jake without all the titles and roles. This was the man as he truly was, without the constraints or responsibilities of all the things connected to him. It was this change that made me see what Daphne would have seen in him all those years ago. He was not just a handsome man. He was charming, he was funny, he was interesting, and in little unexpected moments, he could be vulnerable, too. I could sense that my attraction to him was beginning to grow, and it was starting to scare me. That was not the point of this dinner. That was not the point of me entering his life. ¡°Jake?¡± I said, starting gently. ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°You never really exined to me why you got so mad that night before you¡­ah¡­asked me to leave.¡± Jake smiled at the diplomatic way I chose to phrase my sentence. He paused for only a second, but I realized he wanted to answer me. ¡°I worry about Noah a lot,¡± he said atst. ¡°He¡¯s a sensitive kid, and he tends to form attachments fast, especially to women.¡± It was the closest he had evere to mentioning Daphne, and I felt a little pang in the pit of my stomach. I knew I was being deceitful by sitting opposite him without ever mentioning the fact that I knew his wife, but I couldn¡¯t bring myself to say so now. I couldn¡¯t bear the thought that he might get up and walk out. I wanted him to open up to me¡­ That hope by itself told me that I was way over my head, but it was impossible to extricate myself from the situation now. ¡°Oh,¡± I said, waiting for him to continue. ¡°He has only me, and I¡¯m not around half the time. He doesn¡¯t have grandparents anymore, and my wife and I were both only children. After school, he spends all his time with J, and¡­she¡¯s not the warmest person in the world. I don¡¯t think she has much patience for children.¡± ¡°She did seem a little disinterested,¡± I agreed. ¡°Mind you, I only met her for five minutes.¡± ¡°She came so highly rmended that I thought I couldn¡¯t go wrong,¡± he sighed. ¡°But I¡¯m thinking of finding someone new for Noah. He needs someone who will love him, someone who will nurture him. He needs to have a strong, healthy mother figure in his life.¡± ¡°Is that why you got so upset?¡± I asked. ¡°You saw me with Noah and¡± ¡°It stirred up a few things for me,¡± Jake said, interrupting me. ¡°Some rted, but others not so much. I¡¯d just had a long week, and I had been drinking for the first time in months. Thebination wasn¡¯t the best.¡± I nodded. ¡°It¡¯s understandable.¡± ¡°You¡¯re sweet,¡± he smiled. ¡°I didn¡¯t expect you to forgive me so willingly.¡± ¡°I could tell that you meant it when you apologized to me¡­at least the second time around,¡± I smiled. He nodded. ¡°You¡¯re not from San Diego, are you?¡± ¡°No,¡± I replied, tensing slightly. If I wasn¡¯t careful, this line of questioning could lead me into real trouble. ¡°I¡¯m from Michigan.¡± ¡°Tell me about your family.¡± I suppressed the urge to bite my lip. Instead, I smiled and shrugged. ¡°Nothing much to tell¡­ I had a non-existent father, a naive mother with her head stuck in the clouds, and a pet rabbit that I called Thumper.¡± ¡°Thumper?¡± he repeated. ¡°As in Bambi?¡± ¡°Wow, you know your Disney.¡± ¡°I have a four-year-old,¡± he replied. ¡°I have to.¡± ¡°Still, it¡¯s impressive,¡± I said.Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. ¡°See? You¡¯re doing something right as a father.¡± Jake smiled at mypliment, but he didn¡¯tment on it. Instead, he picked up thest thread of conversation seamlessly and ran with it. ¡°So, you were an only child, too?¡± I nodded. ¡°I was,¡± I said. ¡°It was lonely growing up without any brothers or sisters. Which was why Thumper was so important to me. My father moved back in with us when I was about eleven. And since he hated all animals, Thumper had to go.¡± ¡°That¡¯s awful.¡± ¡°I cried for weeks,¡± I admitted. ¡°It was honestly like someone had died.¡± ¡°He was in and out of your life, huh?¡± ¡°Pretty much,¡± I nodded. ¡°He was one of those guys leading a double life¡­ He used us when he needed to and then left us high and dry when he had better opportunities on the horizon.¡± Jake¡¯s eyes were gentle all of a sudden. ¡°It must have been hard growing up like that.¡± I shrugged awkwardly. ¡°Thank you for this dinner,¡± I said because I was grateful, but also because I wanted to change the subject. ¡°You don¡¯t have to thank me; this dinner was more than deserved.¡± ¡°Does this mean you¡¯ll stop being an ass to me at work?¡± He smiled. ¡°I can do that.¡± ¡°Good,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯ll make my life a whole lot easier.¡± We spent the whole night talking andughing about different trivial things. And the more time I spent with just Jake, I realized that I was in real danger of falling down the rabbit hole. Episode 16 Jake¡¯s [POV] After dropping Kristen off at her tiny little apartment block, I drove around the neighborhood a couple of times. I don¡¯t know why I did; I suppose it was because I knew that Noah would be sleeping and I needed to calm down a little bit. I wasn¡¯t wired or anything. I just had this little surge of adrenaline running through my system that was making me think of things I hadn¡¯t thought about in years. I kept remembering the way Kristen¡¯s white blouse had opened a little at the neckline every time she leaned in. It was a modest amount of cleavage that I¡¯d glimpsed, but it had been enough to get me a little hot under the cor. I hadn¡¯t been that affected by a woman¡¯s cleavage since Daphne. And that was at the beginning of our marriage. I remembered the first time Daphne and I had had sex. She had entered my bunk one night while my bunkmate had been at dinner and climbed into bed with me. She had undressed me silently, and then we had fucked quickly before we could be interrupted. Then she climbed off me, got dressed, and disappeared from my room. The memory had held me through some tough nights when we had been separated over the first few years of our careers. But now, it brought my only sadness. It felt like a lifetime ago and it felt as though the girl who had snuck into my room just to seduce me had disappeared long before her death. Kristen¡¯s neighborhood was kind of homey, but there was raggedness about it, as though it were trying to straighten itself out, but the effort was too much. I wondered why I was so interested in her life all of a sudden. She had been my secretary for months now, and I had never felt the need to know more about her. I realized with a start that dinner tonight had been a pivotal shift for me. Now she was not just my secretary. She was a fully formed person, with a past and a story and a bag full of history that had followed her here from Michigan. A part of me knew it had been a mistake to take things so personally. She had called me Jake all evening, and I had epted the change happily. It felt nice and familiar, and I realized how much I had missed that. When I couldn¡¯t stall anymore, I drove back to my apartment,paring it mentally in my head to Kristen¡¯s. Mine was huge and spacious and even extravagant if you put them side-by-side. I decided not to think about that. I heard the television running when I walked in. The moment I set my keys down on the table, J turned them off and stood up. ¡°Jake,¡± she said. ¡°You¡¯re here.¡± ¡°I hope I¡¯m not toote,¡± I said, taking pains to be polite. ¡°I expected you to beter than this,¡± she replied. ¡°Listen, J,¡± I said. ¡°About thest time¡­ I¡¯m sorry I gave you a hard time about leaving. You cleared it with me beforehand, and I should have remembered.¡± She seemed pleasantly surprised by my apology, and I realized that my dinner with Kristen had vastly improved my mood and my attitude. ¡°Thank you for that,¡± she nodded. ¡°How¡¯s your father?¡± ¡°He¡¯s doing as well as can be expected,¡± she replied. ¡°But the chemo is difficult for him. I think he just likes having family there with him: helps make it a little easier.¡± ¡°Of course,¡± I nodded. ¡°I can¡¯t imagine what you¡¯re going through.¡± J¡¯s eyes zed over for a moment and she looked a little distant, as though she were remembering something from long ago. ¡°It¡¯s funny how life is, isn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°Funny?¡± I asked, taking a cue from the expression on her face. ¡°Or tragic.¡± J smiled. ¡°I suppose I mean both,¡± she said. ¡°Can I ask you a question?¡± ¡°Sure.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a personal one.¡± I felt reluctance almost immediately, but I sensed that she needed some conversation and was seeking me out because I was particrly qualified to handle this question. ¡°Go ahead,¡± I said atst. ¡°What went through your head when you heard your wife had died?¡± I knew it was going to be a question like that. I was silent for a long time. ¡°I can¡¯t quite describe it,¡± I said finally. ¡°I know that probably sounds like a cop-out, but the truth is¡­you don¡¯t feel much of anything at first. At least, that¡¯s how I felt when I heard. I lived in a different apartment at the time, and Noah was crawling around on the floor when I got the call. ¡°I think I just zoned out for a while. My mind couldn¡¯t process anything. I was just¡­a zombie for a couple of days.¡± ¡°How did you manage, with Noah?¡± ¡°I have an aunt who lives in the next state,¡± I admitted. ¡°I left Noah with her for a couple of days and just drove.¡± ¡°Drove?¡± J repeated. ¡°Where?¡± ¡°Anywhere,¡± I said. ¡°I spent the night in cheap motels, and when I couldn¡¯t find a motel, I just slept in my car. There were moments when I wasn¡¯t sure I was even going back.¡± ¡°How long did you stay away for?¡± ¡°Five nights, six days,¡± I replied. ¡°Which was two nights longer than I said I¡¯d be away for, so my aunt was beside herself with relief when I showed up a few dayster.¡± ¡°What made youe back?¡± I raised my eyebrows at her. ¡°What else?¡± I said. ¡°Noah he¡¯s the only reason.¡± ¡°When did you start getting over it?¡± J asked. I sighed. ¡°Sometimes I still don¡¯t know if I¡¯m over it. Sadness catches you on odd days. You just have to keep going, endure, and survive. At first, you do it for the people around you, and in time¡­you start doing it for yourself, too.¡± ¡°I keep trying to prepare myself for his death,¡± she said in a deadpan voice that haunted me for a moment. ¡°I keep telling myself that it¡¯ll hurt less if I do.¡± ¡°It won¡¯t hurt less,¡± I said bluntly. ¡°Daphne was in the army; I was in the army. Death was a part of our lives. We came to expect it. But when I was told that she was gone, it still felt like¡­¡± ¡°Like?¡± ¡°Like nothing was real anymore,¡± I said, wondering if I made sense. ¡°I get that feeling now,¡± J said, in a hushed voice. ¡°I¡¯m with Dad during his chemo, and sometimes I look over at him and see his stooped frame, his bald head, the lines across his face, and¡­ It doesn¡¯t feel real. It¡¯s like I¡¯m in some sort of bad dream.¡± ¡°You have a sister, don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°An older sister and a younger brother,¡± J replied. ¡°So, you have a support system,¡± I said. ¡°That will help you get through it.¡± She nodded silently, and we just stood there in my living room, standing opposite one another for a few moments. Then a car backfired somewhere outside, and it seemed to break the spell we were under. J transformed back into my babysitter, and her tone went from sad and dreamy to curt and to the point. ¡°Noah is in bed asleep,¡± she told me. ¡°He ate dinner?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± she nodded. ¡°What did he have?¡± ¡°Burger patties and bread.¡± I knew the patties she was talking about. They were the processed ones that they stockpiled at the supermarkets for about a dor fifty. I pursed my lips but decided not to say anything to her. It¡¯s not like she attempted to change in any case. ¡°Was he okay today?¡± I asked. ¡°Did he ask where I was?¡± ¡°He always asks where you are,¡± she said. ¡°I told him you were working.¡± ¡°Right,¡± I nodded as I led J to the door. ¡°What happened with his leaf project?¡± I asked, remembering at thest moment. J furrowed her brow. ¡°I¡¯m not aware of a leaf project.¡± ¡°Oh well¡­ he might have turned that in a while ago now,¡± I said, realizing that I wasn¡¯t as involved in my son¡¯s life as I should have been. Maybe that was the reason he had felt so free to confide in Kristen only hours after meeting her. Maybe she had disyed the interest that I hadn¡¯t the time to show. The thought provoked me to ask a question of my own. ¡°J?¡± I said. ¡°I have a kind of personal question to ask of you, too.¡± ¡°I suppose that¡¯s fair,¡± she said. ¡°Go ahead.¡± ¡°Do you actually like this job?¡± I could tell that she hadn¡¯t been expecting the question. She paused for a long time, and I knew I had my answer then. ¡°It pays my bills,¡± she said finally. It wasn¡¯t the answer I had wanted to hear, but I appreciated her honesty. ¡°Goodnight, J,¡± I said, as she waved goodbye and left. I closed the door, sighed deeply, and walked to my couch. I felt utterly andpletely drained, and it had nothing to do with work. The weight of all the emotionally-charged conversations I¡¯d been havingtely had started to wear on me.Exclusive content from N?velDrama.Org. After a few minutes, I got up and walked to Noah¡¯s room to check in on him. He was sleeping soundly in his bed with the night light on. I could see the faint glow of light fall onto the picture of Daphne that I¡¯d ced by his bed. I wondered how she would feel if she knew I¡¯d been on what was effectively a date tonight. I paused for a moment, realizing that my night with Kristen had very much been a date. At least, that was how it had felt to me. Maybe that¡¯s why I felt so¡­strange afterward. ¡°Would you have wanted me to move on, Daphne?¡± I asked quietly, to her frozen image. ¡°Would you have been happy for me?¡± I wasn¡¯t quite sure. Given our line of work, we discussed certain things about our futures during our early marriage. ¡°If I died, would you remarry?¡± Daphne had asked one day while we had been lying in bed. ¡°That¡¯s a morbid question.¡± ¡°Answer it, please.¡± ¡°No,¡± I had replied. ¡°I would just pine for you for the rest of my life.¡± Sheughed and kissed my nose. ¡°Good boy.¡± It was nothing more than a light-hearted conversation between young lovers confident in their future and their mortality. Looking back now, I saw the cruel irony there. Still, I wondered how Daphne would feel if I moved on with my life and remarried. I wasn¡¯t even sure how I felt about it. I looked at my sleeping son and felt an ache in my chest. What I would give to see him have a mother¡­ I thought about J and how detached she was from Noah. He was a job to her and nothing more, which was why he had no real attachment to her. With Kristen, it had been different. Noah had taken to her immediately, and that made me wonder. Was I depriving him in some way? Was I underying the importance of a mother in his life? I was confused, I was scared, but most of all, I was searching. I was searching for something that would give me the help I needed to do this job right because I couldn¡¯t screw up with Noah. I had to be better than the average father because I was all he would have. Unless¡­ I stopped the vain hope in its tracks. There was no unless. I had to stop thinking about a future wife and a future mother for Noah. This was what life looked like now, and I had to work with what I had. I just hoped Noah wouldn¡¯t suffer for it. Episode 17 Kristen¡¯s [POV] ¡°This is the second time in three days that you¡¯ve called me up and scheduled a gym date,¡± Melody said, giving me a suspicious nce. We were both doing some light cardio on the treadmills. We had TV screens right in front of us, but neither one of us was concentrating. The whole point of going with a partner was so that you didn¡¯t have to watch the mindless programs they usually yed at the gym. I smiled. ¡°Can¡¯t a girl work out now and again without it meaning something?¡± Melody smirked at me. ¡°No,¡± she said with finality. Iughed. ¡°I¡¯m just feeling¡­ I don¡¯t know, motivatedtely, I suppose,¡± I said. ¡°It feels like my adrenaline is pumping, and I want to get shit done.¡± ¡°It also means you want a nice tight ass,¡± she pointed out. I rolled my eyes. ¡°I want to be healthy.¡± ¡°Please,¡± she said, pursing her lips at me. ¡°Let¡¯s be honest here. Health is always a secondary concern. First and foremost, people want to look good. They just talk about health because they don¡¯t want to seem like superficial jerks.¡± Iughed. ¡°That¡¯s how you feel,¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯re just projecting that onto everyone else.¡± ¡°I am not,¡± she said defensively. ¡°I¡¯m just educating you about how the world works.¡± ¡°Ah, I see,¡± I nodded, in a mock-serious fashion. ¡°I¡¯ve learned so much from you already; I almost feel like I should be paying you tuition.¡± Melody smiled. ¡°Please do; I could use the money. There¡¯s this dress I saw in the window of a Bloomingdales the other day, and it looked stunning. I¡¯m thinking of saving up and buying it for my date with Cameron.¡± ¡°Who¡¯s Cameron?¡± I asked. ¡°This cute barista who works in this coffee shop where I grab my morning bagel before work,¡± she said, sounding excited. ¡°We¡¯ve been making eyes at each other for weeks now, and he finally plucked up the courage to ask me out.¡± ¡°How much do you like this coffee shop?¡± ¡°Why?¡± Her tone suggested she knew where I was going with the question. ¡°Well¡­ You might have to choose a different one if things go south with you and¡­¡± ¡°Cameron.¡± ¡°Right,¡± I nodded. ¡°With you and Cameron.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think they will,¡± she said confidently. ¡°He just might be the one.¡± I sighed. ¡°You say that about every new guy you meet,¡± I reminded her. ¡°This time, it feels different.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a sucker for pain, aren¡¯t you?¡± I shook my head at her. ¡°Look who¡¯s talking?¡± She shot me an using nce. ¡°What is that supposed to mean?¡± Melody adjusted her speed on the treadmill and slowed down to a walk. I followed her lead as I wiped the sweat from my brow. ¡°You know exactly what I mean.¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°Please don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re referring to the dinner I had with Jake a few days ago.¡± ¡°Oh, so it¡¯s Jake now, is it?¡± she said, in a teasingly suggestive voice. ¡°I just slipped into calling him Jake during dinner,¡± I said. ¡°I may have started it with the email¡­ Can¡¯t quite remember.¡± ¡°Who cares,¡± Melody said impatiently. ¡°The point is that you effectively went on a date with your boss. So you can¡¯t exactly lecture me about dating my barista because coffee shops are still a whole lot easier to find than jobs these days.¡± ¡°True as that may be,¡± I said. ¡°You are wrong about one thing it wasn¡¯t a date.¡± ¡°If it looks like a cat and smells like a cat¡­¡± I guffawed withughter. ¡°Is that even the expression?¡± ¡°Who gives a fuck,¡± she said. ¡°You get my point.¡± Stillughing, I shook my head at her. ¡°Honestly, it wasn¡¯t a date.¡± ¡°He took you to a restaurant for dinner,¡± she said. ¡°A fancy one that¡¯s trending right now. The choice of the restaurant says a lot about the night.¡± ¡°I think he just likes the food there.¡±N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. ¡°He dropped you off at home,¡± she pointed out. ¡°Because it waste, and he was being polite.¡± ¡°He could have called you a cab if that was the intent,¡± Melody said, raising her eyebrows at me. ¡°He was trying to make amends, Mel,¡± I said. ¡°He felt horrible for being such a dick to me after everything, and he was trying to show me he was sincere about his apology. That¡¯s all it was.¡± Melody rolled her eyes with clear disdain for my exnation. ¡°Please¡­ I always felt the guy was hot for you.¡± ¡°Based on what exactly?¡± ¡°Based on instinct.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve never met him,¡± I pointed out. ¡°I¡¯ve spied him from a distance.¡± ¡°When?¡± I demanded. ¡°When I came here to meet you before we went out for dinner. I saw him walk past and I felt a little moisture between my legs.¡± ¡°Melody!¡± I eximed, cringing at her graphic revtion. ¡°What?¡± she asked,pletely unconcerned. ¡°It¡¯s true; he was so hot that it got me all¡­hot and bothered.¡± ¡°Geez.¡± ¡°What, are you saying you never felt a little something-something when you¡¯re around Jake?¡± ¡°No,¡± I said a little too quickly. ¡°You need to learn to lie a little better,¡± she said, ncing shrewdly at me. ¡°Just admit that you find him attractive.¡± I sighed. ¡°Okay, fine, I do find him attractive.¡± Melody smiled with satisfaction. ¡°But why do I have the feeling that you¡¯re going to qualify that¡± ¡°But-¡± ¡°I knew it,¡± Melody nodded. ¡°It¡¯splicated, okay?¡± I stopped the treadmill and jumped off of it. A few secondster, Melody did the same, and we walked over to the elliptical machines. We got onto two vacant ones side by side and picked up our conversation right where we had left off. ¡°Yeah, yeah¡­ I know you think it¡¯splicated because he¡¯s your boss and¡± ¡°Actually, no,¡± I interrupted. ¡°That¡¯s not the main reason.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not?¡± She sounded surprised. ¡°No,¡± I said, shaking my head. ¡°I mean, the fact that he¡¯s my boss is a factor, but at the moment, it¡¯s a less important factor for me.¡± ¡°Okay, what is the more important factor then?¡± Melody asked with interest. ¡°His past,¡± I sighed. ¡°His past?¡± she repeated. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s vague¡­¡± I smiled. ¡°He¡¯s a widower,¡± I exined. ¡°And, I still don¡¯t think he¡¯s gotten over his wife yet.¡± ¡°Did he mention her while you were out at dinner?¡± ¡°Not once,¡± I said. ¡°At least, not directly. He spoke about his son and was open about the fact that he was a single father¡­but he didn¡¯t make any mention of his wife.¡± ¡°Well, it was only your first date.¡± ¡°It wasn¡¯t a date,¡± I insisted. ¡°Sure, sure,¡± she said dismissively. ¡°What did he talk to you about?¡± ¡°We started talking about work for a little bit,¡± I said. ¡°But that was only for a few minutes before we shifted towards what had happened between us the night he kicked me out.¡± ¡°Did you buy his exnation?¡± ¡°I did, actually,¡± I admitted. ¡°He was conflicted, and I could see all the different emotions he was battling that night. It wasn¡¯t just the alcohol. The liquor was probably just encouraging him, but his pain was what had created the anger in the first ce.¡± ¡°Sounds like he has a lot of baggage.¡± ¡°Exactly,¡± I nodded. ¡°Which is why getting involved with him would be a big mistake. I don¡¯t think he¡¯s ready for a rtionship yet. And also¡­ There¡¯s Noah to consider.¡± ¡°Noah is¡­¡± ¡°His son,¡± I replied. ¡°How old is the kid?¡± ¡°Four,¡± I replied. ¡°Oh, Mel, you should see him. He¡¯s the cutest kid. I mean, it felt like we just bonded instantly.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t seem like you¡¯re too bothered about dating a man with a child.¡± ¡°I honestly wouldn¡¯t care,¡± I said. ¡°My only reservation would be attachments and that kind of thing.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve thought about this, haven¡¯t you?¡± She gave me a sly smile. ¡°Which means that you have seriously thought about what it would be like to date Jake.¡± I opened my mouth to deny it, but then realized there was no point. ¡°Okay, fine. I¡¯ll admit that I¡¯ve thought about it.¡± Melody nodded approvingly at my honesty. ¡°You can¡¯t fool me, girl,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯d advise you not to try in the future.¡± ¡°Duly noted,¡± I said. ¡°Does that mean if he was interested in you, you would¡­return the favor, so to speak?¡± ¡°He isn¡¯t interested in me,¡± I said firmly. ¡°What makes you think so?¡± ¡°Oh,e on,¡± I said. ¡°He¡¯s so busy with work and with fatherhood, and as I mentioned before, he still seems pretty broken up about his wife. It¡¯s not like I¡¯d ever be able topete with a dead woman.¡± ¡°Why not?¡± Melody asked. ¡°She¡¯s dead-it¡¯d be easy.¡± ¡°She¡¯s Noah¡¯s mother,¡± I pointed out. ¡°Right,¡± Melody said, biting her lip, ¡°Makes things a little moreplicated.¡± ¡°See?¡± I said, stressing the word. ¡°That is precisely the point.¡± ¡°Hmm¡­ That doesn¡¯t mean you can¡¯t still fuck him from time to time.¡± ¡°Melody!¡± I eximed. Sheughed. ¡°You are such a prude sometimes,¡± she said. ¡°Stop acting like such a Virgin Mary.¡± We spent the next half hour finishing up at the gym and then walked towards the showers together. I was standing in the shower thinking about Jake when I felt guilt rise within me. I had just spent almost an hour talking about my feelings for Jake Middleton. He was off limits he would always be off limits to me and yet, I had fantasized ab out him many times, especially since our dinner together. I had no right to those dreams, and I knew it. ¡°This is wrong, Kristen,¡± I told myself, but my mind was just not willing to be tamed. It was just an innocent dinner, and now that it was behind us, we were just boss and secretary once more. And yet, I still kept hoping for more. It was wrong, but I couldn¡¯t help myself. There had been only one working day between our dinner and now, and Jake had been very, very busy. Still, his mood was a lot better, he had made it a point to look and smile at me, and he was considerably nicer. Which incidentally made it harder for me to contain my fantasies about him. I had just changed into fresh clothes after my shower when I nced at my phone to check my work email. I froze when I noticed a message from Jake on my screen. With bated breath, I read his message. ¡°Hi, Kristen,¡± he had written. ¡°I was just wondering if you¡¯d like to have dinner again this weekend, I could pick you up. Let me know. Jake.¡± I read the message again, just to make sure my imagination wasn¡¯t getting the better of me. When I was convinced that Jake had texted me to ask me out again, I felt my spirits soar. This was what I had been secretly hoping for, ever since he had dropped me off the other night. ¡°I¡¯d love to,¡± I replied. There was an annoying little voice at the back of my head that chided me for my enthusiasm and my eptance, but I thought of Jake and had to ignore it. Episode 18 Jake¡¯s [POV] ¡°Daddy,¡± Noah asked, staring up at me as I applied some aftershave in the bathroom. ¡°Where are you going?¡± I paused for a moment, wondering what I should tell him. I decided the safest bet would be to me it on work. It was the reason he was most ustomed to hearing, and I wasn¡¯t even sure if Noah would be aware of the practice of dating. I knew I certainly didn¡¯t want to have to exin it to him. ¡°I have a work dinner, buddy,¡± I replied, ruffling his hair with my hand. ¡°You look different than when you¡¯re going to work,¡± he said observantly. He was right about that. Usually, I wore suits, zers, or cored, long-sleeved dress shirts with dark pants. Today, I was wearing dark jeans with aid-back, dressed-down shirt that made me feel more like myself. Or more specifically, it made me feel like the man I had been in the early days of my military career, around the time I had met and fallen in love with Daphne. ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± I said. ¡°I do look a little different, huh?¡± ¡°I like it, though,¡± Noah said, giving me a big smile. ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°You look¡­happy.¡± I turned to him and shook my head. ¡°Sometimes I can¡¯t believe it.¡± ¡°Believe what?¡± ¡°How smart you are.¡± Noah beamed and then he followed me out of the bathroom like a littlemb. A part of me felt guilty for even setting up this date. Not only was it my first date since Daphne, but it was also cutting into my one-on-one time with Noah. I had no idea what had possessed me to write to Kristen in the first ce. I had just been thinking about my life and about the dinner we had had, and I just acted on a whim. Once the message had been sent, I started panicking a little, but the moment I got her response, I felt relief flood through me. She had said yes, and seeing that yes made me realize how much I liked Kristen and how attracted to her I was. J was in the living room flipping through a magazine when Noah and I walked in. She looked up and gave me a small smile. ¡°You look nice.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± I said awkwardly, but I appreciated thepliment. ¡°You¡¯ll call me if there¡¯s anything?¡± ¡°Of course,¡± she nodded. I kissed Noah and bumped fists with him before I headed out. I drove over to Kristen¡¯s apartment, feeling a little light-headed. It had been years since I¡¯d been on a date, and I wasn¡¯t even sure how to act anymore. Was a hug okay? Was I supposed to wait in the car or go to her doorstep? Was I meant to kiss her goodnight when I dropped her off or just go for a peck on the cheek? A part of me felt like turning tail right then and there and canceling the date. The need to see Kristen again outside of work was what fueled me. Only seconds after I had pulled up outside her apartment building, I saw her step outside in a red dress that had my attention immediately. The dress was a simple and bold red, with short sleeves and a ssic shape thatplimented her hourss figure. She kept her auburn hair loose, and I could tell that her makeup was natural and minimalistic. I got out of the car when she approached and smiled at her. ¡°Hi,¡± I said. ¡°You look¡­nice.¡± I had wanted to say pretty, but somehow that felt too¡­much. Once I hadnded awkwardly on nice, I felt my nerves rise just a little bit more. I didn¡¯t even get a chance to open the door for her because she smiled, thanked me for thepliment, and opened the door herself. I got inside and headed toward the restaurant I had chosen for the night. It was a quiet little gastro pub in the heart of the city that served beautiful food with unique twists. I had chosen it more for the quiet and romantic atmosphere than the menu, however. We settled into silence as I drove, mostly because I couldn¡¯t think of anything to say. ¡°You look nice, too,¡± Kristen said, breaking the silence. I couldn¡¯t help but smile. ¡°Thanks,¡± I said. ¡°You know, I¡¯m d you agreed to go out with me tonight.¡± ¡°Oh?¡± ¡°I thought you might be a little skittish about going on a date with your boss.¡± ¡°So this is a date, then?¡± she asked bluntly. I smiled. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Oh good,¡± she said, sighing in relief. ¡°I wasn¡¯tpletely sure. I was worried the red dress might be a little much if it turned out to be a business thing.¡± I tried to suppress my smile of amusement. I liked how forthright and honest she was. It made me feel more at ease around her, almost as though I could be myself around her because she wouldn¡¯t be too hard on me. ¡°I¡¯m d you decided on the red dress,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve always loved the color.¡± ¡°Not me,¡± Kristen said. ¡°You don¡¯t like the color red?¡± I asked, raising an eyebrow. Sheughed. ¡°You¡¯re wondering why I¡¯m wearing red, then?¡± ¡°It did cross my mind.¡± ¡°When I was in high school, I wore sses and braces. I had a face full of freckles, and my hair was redder than auburn. I wasn¡¯t winning any beauty pageants. There was this group of girls who made fun of me. One day I showed up in this red dress, and they heckled me so badly that I lost all my love for the color. ¡°But then this teacher of mine sat me down during the lunch break and told me to take my power back. She told me that if I let them change me then they win. And, I be the victim, and that would follow me around for the rest of my life. She made one heck of a speech, and by the end of it, she hadpletely converted me. After that, I showed up every day in the red. I never really liked the color the same way again, but I wear it still out of defiance more than anything else.¡± I listened to her speak, and her character began to take shape before me. And as I discovered little aspects of her I started to feel more and more drawn to her. ¡°That¡¯s some story.¡± ¡°Is it?¡± Kristen said, shrugging. ¡°It¡¯s the first time I¡¯ve told it to anyone.¡± ¡°And, you chose to share it with me for the first time?¡± I said, feeling oddly ttered. She blushed slightly. ¡°I feel as though I can trust you,¡± she said, in a shy voice. ¡°I¡¯m d you feel that way.¡± The conversation was not usual, which was probably why I found myself getting more confused and aroused as we talked. Her openness was attractive and made her more beautiful in my eyes. I walked into the restaurant in a haze, trying to figure out everything I was feeling so that I wouldn¡¯t trip over my own emotion. We ordered quickly, and once we were alone again, I turned to Kristen, desperate to know more about her. ¡°How¡¯s Noah?¡± she asked before I could say anything. I smiled. ¡°He¡¯s doing great,¡± I said. ¡°He showed me hispleted leaf project today,¡± I revealed. ¡°Yeah?¡± She sounded excited. ¡°And? Best leaf project ever?¡± ¡°Of course,¡± I nodded. ¡°My little man knows how to put together one mean leaf project.¡± ¡°He did it all by himself, too; you must be so proud.¡± ¡°Proud¡­ashamed¡­guilty¡­all of the above.¡± Kristen¡¯s eyes grew gentle. ¡°Hey,¡± she said. ¡°You have nothing to feel ashamed or guilty about.¡± ¡°He was the only kid who had to do his project alone,¡± I said. ¡°Every other kid had help from a parent. He told me so.¡± ¡°He¡¯s learning to be independent.¡± I smiled. ¡°Nice try, but he¡¯s only four.¡± ¡°You¡¯re too hard on yourself,¡± she told me. As she spoke, she reached out and touched my hand. The feel of her touch sent a lightning bolt zooming through my body. It didn¡¯t just trigger feelings; it triggered memories, too, and I found myself grappling with the torrent raging in my head. ¡°I was with Noah for one evening, and all he could talk about was you,¡± Kristen continued, oblivious to the conflict in my head. ¡°That says a lot about how you¡¯re doing as a father. He loves you, Jake. Trust me: when a kid has no love for their parents¡­it shows.¡± ¡°I may not be enough for him,¡± I said the words before I permitted myself to. ¡°Never let him know that,¡± she said. ¡°You have to be strong for him.¡± I blinked once. I blinked a second time. Kristen¡¯s face blurred before me as memory started taking shape. I could still feel her hand on top of mine. It wasforting, but it was not the touch I had grown used to. It was not familiar. ¡°You have to be strong now Jake,¡± Major Jones was saying to me. ¡°You have to be strong for him.¡±Exclusive content from N?velDrama.Org. ¡°What happened?¡± I demanded. ¡°I just want to know what happened to my wife.¡± ¡°Sit down, Jake.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to sit down.¡± Major Jones looked at me sympathetically, and I wanted to die right then and there. How could I go through life having people look at me in that way? It was almost unbearable. ¡°How did it happen?¡± I persisted. ¡°It was an IED,¡± he replied. ¡°An IED,¡± I repeated, feeling weak. That was what we called it in the field. To ayman, it was a bomb. She had been blown to pieces. Had she felt her flesh rip apart? Or had she been surrounded by the bliss of ignorance before the bomb ripped her from life? ¡°It exploded on the road under her vehicle,¡± Major Jones continued. ¡°She was badly wounded¡­ She lost a leg, but she was still alive when they got her to the medic¡¯s tent.¡± ¡°But?¡± ¡°They were just about to operate when¡­she died,¡± he said softly. ¡°She was bleeding too heavily, and there was so much shrapnel.¡± ¡°The doctor told me that part.¡± ¡°Jake, why don¡¯t you sit down?¡± ¡°Thank you for being honest with me, Major,¡± I replied, in a cold voice before walking away. I felt heat in my hand and realized suddenly that I was in a restaurant with a different woman, a woman who wasn¡¯t Daphne. And suddenly, it felt wrong. I shouldn¡¯t be here, I thought to myself. I could hear a voice faintly in the background of my mind, but I didn¡¯t care to listen. All I wanted to do was get out. So I did. I got up and walked out of the restaurant, trying to grapple for air, but finding myselfing up short. I got into my car and started driving. It was only after I had parked in front of my building that I remembered who I had left behind without a word or an exnation. ¡°Kristen,¡± I whispered her name under my breath. Had I just walked out on her in the middle of our date? I felt myself cringe, but I couldn¡¯t bear to pick up the phone to call her, let alone turn the car around and drive back. She was going to hate me. A small voice at the back of my head wondered if maybe that was a good thing. Episode 19 Kristen¡¯s [POV] ¡°I¡¯m handing in my two weeks¡¯ notice,¡± I said as I sipped my lemonade. ¡°What?¡± Melody asked, gawking at me over her te of linguini. ¡°It¡¯s been two weeks now, and things still haven¡¯t thawed out between us. I mean, he talks to me, and he¡¯s polite; it¡¯s not like it was the first time he freaked out, but still¡­ He didn¡¯t even acknowledge what happened that night. Nor does he talk to me with any sense of familiarity. It¡¯s like we¡¯ve gone back to being strangers. Except that we¡¯re not strangers not anymore.¡± ¡°You sound hurt.¡± ¡°I am hurt,¡± I admitted. ¡°We had a connection at dinner, Mel; if I¡¯m honest, we had a connection long before that. He was the one who asked me out in the first ce. He initiated dinner, and he picked me up, and things were going great until we sat down at the restaurant. Then we started talking, and things seemed to be going well, and then¡­ He just nked.¡±N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. ¡°nked?¡± Melody repeated. ¡°It was like he wasn¡¯t even there for a second,¡± I said. ¡°Like he had gone somece else and wasn¡¯t even aware that I was sitting in front of him, talking to him. When he zoned in again, he just looked at me, got up, and left.¡± ¡°Have you ever considered the possibility that the guy has PTSD or something?¡± ¡°Post-traumatic stress disorder?¡± I said. I frowned thoughtfully. ¡°I suppose it¡¯s possible.¡± ¡°What were you talking about when he zoned out?¡± ¡°Uh¡­we were talking about¡­Noah,¡± I said, recalling the evening. ¡°He was opening up to me about life as a single father and how he was scared that he wasn¡¯t enough for his son. So I was just trying to reassure him, you know¡­ I was trying to make him feel better.¡± ¡°Do you know how his wife died?¡± I did know a little bit about how Daphne died, but I didn¡¯t want to get into it. ¡°She was killed in Afghanistan on her tour of duty. I think it may have been a bomb.¡± ¡°Oh, my God.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°How did you find out about that?¡± Melody asked. ¡°Did he tell you?¡± ¡°He never talks about Daphne,¡± I said. ¡°He¡¯s never once mentioned her. I just found out.¡± ¡°But how?¡± she persisted. I didn¡¯t want to have to tell her the truth and see the shock and surprise on her face. It was too long a story to get into now in any case. My lunch break was only an hour long. ¡°Office gossip,¡± I said, protecting my secrets. ¡°Well, no wonder the guy¡¯s messed up,¡± she said. ¡°His wife was killed, and he was left with his young son who he knew he¡¯d have to raise alone. That kind of thing has a way of messing with your head.¡± ¡°I knew he wasn¡¯t ready to get involved with anyone,¡± I sighed. ¡°I should never have agreed to go out with him. Now I¡¯m forced to leave anyway, and things are just going to be awkward.¡± ¡°When are you nning on handing in your notice?¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to tell Jake about it today when I get back into the office,¡± I said. ¡°He wasn¡¯t in all morning because he had meetings across town. Once he¡¯s notified, I can hand in my official letter whenever he needs it.¡± ¡°You¡¯re sure you want to do this?¡± ¡°It¡¯s weird for me to be around him now,¡± I sighed. ¡°The sad truth is¡­ I like him. I mean, I think I like him, and I don¡¯t think I can continue to work for him now. This is the second time he¡¯s freaked out on me, and I can¡¯t help thinking that¡­it¡¯s me.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not you,¡± Melody said confidently. ¡°We don¡¯t know that for sure,¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯re beautiful and smart and hot,¡± she said. ¡°Trust me; it¡¯s him. He¡¯s just got a lot of shit to deal with and ends up taking it out on you.¡± I sighed and nced down at my watch. ¡°I better head out.¡± ¡°No dessert?¡± ¡°Not today, unfortunately,¡± I said, craving a sweet fix to soothe my frayed nerves. ¡°I don¡¯t have the time.¡± ¡°Right¡­ Well, good luck.¡± ¡°Thanks,¡± I said. I paid for my meal, gave Melody a quick hug, and walked back to the office. When I got to my desk, I saw that Jake¡¯s door was closed and there was a faint noiseing from inside, so I knew he had finallye in for the day. I sat at my desk and took a moment topose myself. This was my fault. Even if Jake had not been my boss, I should never have consented to get involved with him. I wasn¡¯t being honest with him about whom I was, and that by itself was enough of a reason not to get too entrenched in his life. Perhaps this was simply karmic retribution for my choices since moving to San Diego. Almost as if to drive home the point, I noticed that I¡¯d received two missed calls from my mother. I still hadn¡¯t spoken to her since I¡¯d moved out here. It was the longest we had gone without speaking to one another, but I needed the space. I was starting to feel a little guilty about avoiding her calls, however. Taking a deep breath, I stood up, knowing that I had stalled for long enough. I went to Jake¡¯s door and knocked twice. It was a while before the door opened and I frowned for a moment before I realized Jake was not the one answering the door. ¡°Noah,¡± I eximed in surprise. ¡°Krissie,¡± he cried as he grabbed me around the waist. ¡°Hi, sweetheart,¡± I said, running my hand over his head. The way he clung to me made me feel emotional instantly, and I dropped to my knees to give him a proper hug. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± ¡°ying rookie?¡± he said, sounding uncertain of thest word. I frowned. ¡°ying rookie¡­or ying hooky?¡± Heughed. ¡°Hooky,¡± he confirmed. ¡°Daddy said.¡± ¡°Where is your daddy?¡± I asked. ¡°In the potty,¡± Noah replied. I suppressed my smile and straightened up. ¡°Well, I need to talk to him.¡± ¡°You can y with me until hees out,¡± Noah said enthusiastically as he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the office. I followed him inside and saw that a little circle of toys had been set up next to Jake¡¯s desk. There was a little backpack, as well as coloring books and an assortment of pencils and crayons that littered the carpet. ¡°That¡¯s quite the little y area you¡¯ve got.¡± ¡°I¡¯m coloring now,¡± he told me. ¡°I finished ying with my toys.¡± ¡°That¡¯s good,¡± I smiled. ¡°Can I see what you¡¯ve colored?¡± Noah handed me his coloring book proudly, and I took a careful look at the pictures he hadpleted. ¡°Wow,¡± I said, knowing that he was waiting for praise. ¡°This is lovely.¡± ¡°You like it?¡± ¡°I love it,¡± I said. ¡°I especially love your choice of colors¡­ It¡¯s very outside the box.¡± Noah frowned. ¡°Outside the box?¡± he repeated. ¡°But I¡¯ve stayed in the lines.¡± I smiled. ¡°No, sweetheart, it¡¯s an expression. It means that you¡¯re very imaginative. You do things differently than other people, and that¡¯s a great thing.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Really,¡± I nodded confidently. He beamed, and I saw how much he liked talking to me. I realized how lonely it must be for Noah sometimes with a disinterested babysitter to look after him and a father who was constantly working. ¡°Why didn¡¯t youe and see me, Krissy?¡± he asked. ¡°I liked ying with you.¡± ¡°I liked ying with you, too, honey,¡± I assured him. ¡°But¡­ I was really busy. You understand, don¡¯t you?¡± Noah¡¯s face fell slightly. ¡°Everyone¡¯s always busy,¡± he said, sounding slightly saddened by the thought. I was trying to figure out what to say to him when the bathroom door opened and Jake walked out. He stopped short for a moment when he saw me there, but he regained hisposure almost immediately. ¡°Kristen,¡± he nodded. ¡°Um¡­ I needed to talk to you,¡± I said. ¡°I came in here hoping to find you, and I found Noah, instead.¡± ¡°She found me,¡± Noah said, jumping over to his dad. Jake ruffled Noah¡¯s hair with his hand and looked toward me. ¡°His babysitter canceled on me at thest second. She did worse than cancel she quit.¡± ¡°She quit?¡± I asked, in surprise. Jake looked down at Noah and gave him a little wink. ¡°Why don¡¯t you get back to your books, kiddo?¡± Noah went over to his little y area and started coloring again. Jake took a step towards me. ¡°J¡¯s father took a turn for the worse, and she wants to spend this time with him and her family. She just up and quit without any notice, which leaves me high and dry. I didn¡¯t have anyone to pick Noah up from school today, so I was forced to bring him to work instead.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I said, ncing over at Noah. ¡°This came at the worst possible time,¡± Jakeined, and I could see the stress in his eyes. ¡°I have meetings for the rest of the evening and no way of getting out of them.¡± I raised my eyebrows. ¡°What are you nning on doing?¡± ¡°I honestly have no idea,¡± I said. ¡°Every daycare within a ten-mile radius is full, and they require enrolments obviously, which I don¡¯t have. I may have no choice but to take him into the meetings with me.¡± ¡°You¡¯re going to take a four-year-old in for meetings that mayst hours?¡± ¡°What choice do I have?¡± I should have just kept my mouth shut. I had no reason to make the offer, but I told myself that I was simply being a Good Samaritan. I was doing it for Noah because I didn¡¯t want the kid to be stuck in meetings all night. ¡°I¡¯ll take him,¡± I blurted out before I could think it over by myself. ¡°What?¡± Jake asked, raising his eyebrows. I suppressed a sigh. ¡°I can babysit him this evening,¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t have ns tonight.¡± ¡°I¡­ Would you?¡± Jake asked, looking slightly surprised. ¡°I like Noah,¡± I said. ¡°And, I have a hard time staying awake during those meetings when I sit in one of them with you. I can¡¯t imagine what Noah will have to go through.¡± One corner of Jake¡¯s mouth tilted upwards, but it still wasn¡¯t quite a smile. ¡°Thank you,¡± he said. ¡°This is nice of you.¡± I shrugged and turned towards Noah. ¡°I¡¯m doing it for him,¡± I said, unable to keep the note of hurt from my voice. Jake looked like he had gotten the message. He nodded once and then he looked toward his son. ¡°Hey, buddy, looks like you¡¯re going to be spending the evening with Kristen.¡± ¡°Yea,¡± Noah screamed, in his high-pitched little voice. ¡°Will you read to me again, Krissie?¡± he asked. ¡°Of course, buddy,¡± I nodded. ¡°And, will you cook for me again?¡± ¡°I sure will.¡± ¡°Can we leave now?¡± Noah asked. I smiled and looked toward Jake. ¡°Go ahead,¡± he nodded. ¡°Let me give you some cash first.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be silly; that¡¯s not necessary.¡± ¡°Here,¡± Jake said, ignoring me as he held out some money. ¡°Just in case you need to buy anything for Noah¡­food or books or¡­anything.¡± I refused to take the money. ¡°Like I said, that not¡¯s necessary,¡± I said coldly. Then I walked over to Noah. ¡°Come on, buddy, let me help you clear up.¡± The whole time I was helping Noah, I could feel Jake¡¯s eyes on me. I was doing this for Noah, but a part of me had to admit that, despite everything, I was doing it for Jake, too. Episode 20 Jake¡¯s [POV] It had been an exhausting day, and I was grateful that Kristen had offered to look after Noah. I couldn¡¯t imagine sitting through all those meetings with a four-year-old in tow. I arrived at my apartment building and pulled into my usual spot. I had just unbuckled my seatbelt when a call came in. I looked down and saw that it was my aunt. It had been a while since I¡¯dst spoken to her, and I didn¡¯t want to miss her call. ¡°Hey, Aunt Margo,¡± I said. ¡°Jacob,¡± she said, using my full name as she always did. ¡°You¡¯ve forgotten me.¡± I smiled. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Aunt Margo,¡± I said apologetically. ¡°I should have called you.¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t seen you and your boy in over a year.¡± ¡°That can¡¯t be,¡± I said, frowning to remember when we¡¯dst visited her. ¡°One year and three months exactly,¡± she continued. ¡°Noah wasn¡¯t even three at the time.¡± ¡°Wow,¡± I said, amazed by how much time had passed. ¡°Has it been that long?¡± ¡°When are youing to visit me?¡± I sighed. ¡°I don¡¯t know, Aunt Margo¡­ I can¡¯t make any promises.¡± ¡°That boy needs family, Jacob,¡± she said. ¡°And unfortunately, I¡¯m the only family left.¡± ¡°How about we Skype?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not the same thing.¡± ¡°I know,¡± I said, feeling drained. ¡°Jacob?¡± Aunt Margo¡¯s tone was low and concerned. ¡°Are you alright, my boy?¡± I used to spend my weekends at Aunt Margo¡¯s house. My parents and I lived on the nextne, and I used to ride my bicycle over to her ce and spend Saturday night there before heading back to my own house on Sunday night. I remembered how different things had been back then. Aunt Margo had been a beautiful blonde with long, curly hair and aughing smile; Uncle Ashton had been quick-witted and friendly, and Henry¡­ Henry¡­ It was hard to think about Henry. ¡°Jacob?¡± ¡°Sorry, Aunt Margo,¡± I said. ¡°I was just¡­ remembering¡­¡± ¡°Remembering has be such a curse to me now,¡± she said. ¡°I remember things and then¡­ I can¡¯t stop crying for the rest of the day.¡± ¡°You stay in that house too much,¡± I said. ¡°You need to get out more, meet new people¡­live your life.¡± She sighed. ¡°I hate meeting new people,¡± she said. ¡°They want to know things about me.¡± I smiled. ¡°That¡¯s usually how it goes.¡± ¡°Yes, and then I¡¯m forced to tell them about my life,¡± she continued. ¡°No, I¡¯m not married. I was once, but I¡¯m not anymore. Yes, I had a son, but I don¡¯t anymore.¡± ¡°Hey,¡± I said. ¡°You still have a son; he¡¯s just¡­¡± ¡°Dead?¡± I cringed, but she continued without missing a beat. ¡°It¡¯s been ten years since he died, Jacob¡­ Can you believe it? Ten years.¡± I closed my eyes for a moment. ¡°Ten years,¡± I repeated. ¡°Feels that long to me.¡± ¡°Me, too,¡± she replied. ¡°Maybe you cane and visit Noah and me sometime?¡± ¡°Maybe,¡± she said. ¡°How is my little man?¡± I smiled. ¡°He¡¯s doing well. I¡¯m doing my best¡­¡± ¡°You were always so hard on yourself.¡± I smiled; she had always known how to read me. ¡°He misses having a mother in his life,¡± I said. ¡°He told me he wanted a mommyst month.¡± ¡°There¡¯s still time.¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°I¡¯m not ready for that.¡± ¡°For what?¡± she asked. ¡°To move on with your life? Isn¡¯t that the very same advice you just gave me?¡± ¡°It¡¯s different.¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s not. It¡¯s just easier to advise than to take it.¡± I smiled. ¡°You have a point.¡± ¡°This man asked me out yesterday,¡± Aunt Margo said abruptly. ¡°Really?¡± I said, more pleased than I could say. ¡°He runs this breakfast shop where I go on weekends,¡± she said, sounding slightly nervous. ¡°We talk now and again, and I suppose we¡¯re friends. He¡¯s divorced, too, and he¡¯s got two kids with his ex-wife. They¡¯re both married with kids of their own.¡± ¡°Well, are you going out with him?¡± ¡°I told him I¡¯d think about it.¡± ¡°Is that why you¡¯re calling me?¡± I asked. ¡°For approval?¡± ¡°No¡­ Yes¡­ I don¡¯t know,¡± she sighed. I smiled. ¡°Aunt Margo,¡± I said gently. ¡°Say yes, go out with this man. You can¡¯t spend your whole life stuck in the past. You¡¯ve got to move on.¡± ¡°Do you think¡­ Do you think he wou ld mind?¡± she asked, in a shy voice. ¡°Henry?¡± I asked. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Henry loved you,¡± I said. ¡°He would have wanted you to be happy. You¡¯re more than just an aunt to me; you¡¯re like my second mother, and I want you to be happy, too.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a sweet boy.¡± I sighed. ¡°I haven¡¯t beentely,¡± I said, feeling that same sense of self-disappointment again. ¡°Then do something about it,¡± Aunt Margo said immediately. I smiled. ¡°I¡¯ll try,¡± I said. ¡°I promise I will if you agree to go out on a date with this guy.¡± I could sense that she was smiling. ¡°Okay,¡± she said, atst. ¡°But I¡¯m only doing this for you.¡± Iughed. ¡°I can live with that.¡± ¡°Love you, Jacob.¡± ¡°Love you, Aunt Margo.¡± Once we¡¯d hung up, I walked into the quiet apartment. I could hear a faint voiceing from Noah¡¯s room, so I walked over quietly, with the conversation I¡¯d just had with Aunt Margo ying over in my head. I was so thrilled for her, but I felt sad, too. That was possibly the saddest thing about everything that had happened the lost possibility of what might have been. Noah¡¯s door was slightly ajar, so I peeked inside. Kristen was sitting on the bed with Noah, and he was tucked under her arm. His head was resting lightly against her shoulder while she read to him softly. Her voice was rhythmic, almost as though she were singing him a luby. I could see that he was almost asleep, but was desperately fighting to stay awake till the story was over. I didn¡¯t listen to the actual words of the story, but I loved the sound of Kristen¡¯s voice. It was so soothing that it hit me right in the heart. It didn¡¯t help that I was already emotional after talking to Aunt Margo. My head spun as I thought about Henry and Daphne and all the people I had lost over thest few years. It was more loss than one person should have to bear. I thought about my childhood and all the people that had disappeared from my life since then. Aunt Margo and Uncle Ashton had divorced only two years after Henry¡¯s death. I hadn¡¯t seen him since then. My father and mother were gone, too. All my friends had chosen college when I had chosen the military, and that had created enough distance that we had just faded slowly out of each other¡¯s lives. Now, what did I have left? I thought. An aunt who lived alone with three dogs and a bunch of birds she kept in the backyard, and a four-year-old who relied on me for everything? That was the length and breadth of my world, and even I knew it wasn¡¯t enough. It wasn¡¯t enough for me, and it certainly wouldn¡¯t be enough for Noah. And yet, I didn¡¯t know what to do about that. I thought about Aunt Margo and the new rtionship she was about to embark on. I was thrilled for her, but it also made me realize how damaged I was. I had freaked out on Kristen after our date, and I was fairly certain she was going to leave because of it. I nced over at Kristen and Noah, and I realized that they looked like mother and son. The way their bodies were entangled together was familiar andfortable, and I could sense the bond already there between them. Maybe that was what sent me over the edge. Unable to contain my emotion any longer, I retreated to my room and closed the door. I started pacing slowly as tears pierced my cheeks. I hadn¡¯t cried since Daphne¡¯s death three years ago, and I realized why. Breaking down was never a good idea anymore because there was no one around to put the pieces back together anymore. I had to stay strong for Noah, so I could never afford the luxury of just being sad. That realization sent me spiraling into anger and more memories of my life with Daphne. I felt the anger build inside me, and unable to contain myself, I punched thempshade beside my bed, sending it hurtling to the ground with a crash. ¡°Fuck,¡± I said, annoyed with my outburst. ¡°Fuck.¡± I leaned against the wall and sank slowly to the ground with my head in my hands. The tears weren¡¯t stopping, and I felt like I was drowning. ¡°Jake?¡± Her voice sent fear snaking through me. I froze in ce and stayed silent. I could sense her just outside my bedroom door. ¡°Jake?¡± she called again. A secondter, the door opened cautiously, and Kristen peered through. She saw me instantly, and I saw her eyes grow wide as she saw the state I was in. I expected her to apologize and then back out of the room to leave me to my breakdown, but to my surprise, she walked right in and closed the door behind her. Then she walked over and sunk to her knees in front of me. ¡°I don¡¯t know what¡¯s going on with you,¡± she said. ¡°But it¡¯s okay¡­everything¡¯s going to be alright.¡± ¡°How do you know that?¡± I asked, trying to wipe the tears from my face. ¡°Because no matter how hopeless things may seem at the moment, they can¡¯t stay that way forever,¡± she said. ¡°Trust me.¡± I felt new sobsing on, and I buried my face in my arms. A secondter, I felt Kristen¡¯s arms surround me. She was hugging me, and more importantly, it felt amazing. I felt lean into her until she was supporting my weightpletely. She was whispering things to me, but I wasn¡¯t paying any attention to what she was saying. I just wanted to hear the sound of her voice. ¡°This is about your wife, isn¡¯t it?¡± she guessed. ¡°Yes,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± she whispered to me. ¡°It¡¯s okay to be sad about her. It¡¯s okay to mourn her.¡± I looked up, and Kristen¡¯s hazel eyes were bright and beautiful. Her face was only inches from mine. ¡°You look like her,¡± I said. ¡°And when I see you with Noah¡­ It makes me feel¡­¡±N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. I dissolved into tears as Kristen pulled me into her body. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. Just cry¡­let it all out.¡± And amazingly, I did. Minutester, once all my tears had been spent I was able to look up at Kristen and feel oddly at peace, as though I had been released from my sorrow. ¡°I think that was why I freaked out anytime you got¡­too close,¡± I said, ncing over at her. ¡°You just remind me of Daphne. You remind me of everything I could have had. I¡¯m sorry for how I¡¯ve treated you. I know how unfair that is.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to apologize,¡± Kristen said quickly. ¡°No, I do,¡± I insisted. ¡°I have to apologize twice over for treating you the way I have. You deserve better.¡± Kristen¡¯s eyes were filled with bright little dots of light. She looked conflicted for a moment, and I wondered if she was going to get up and leave. But then to my utter surprise, she leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. Episode 21 Kristen¡¯s [POV] There were still a few tears glistening on his eyshes. He was a beautiful man, and there was something intensely attractive about how vulnerable he was allowing himself to be in front of me. All I wanted to do was make him feel better. All I wanted to do was soothe him, body and soul. Even his apology cut through me. I could tell he was sincere, and I could tell it was the broken man inside of him that had caused him tosh out and turn away from me. Hurt as I had been, I could understand where that hade from now, and I forgave him readily. I stared at his perfect blue eyes, hollowed in with emotion. He was trying to sort out all theplicated feelings he had been avoiding all this time, and I could imagine how hard that was. A part of me knew that getting deeper into this with Jake was just leading up to heartbreak in the future, but how could I turn away from him now? Maybe this was the reason I had moved here to San Diego. Maybe I hade here to save Jake? And in saving Jake, maybe I could save myself, too. I leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. He froze for a moment, and then I felt him rx, and his lips responded to mine. It was a tender moment; there was nothing very sexy about it. It was deeper than that. It was about connecting; it was about letting him know I was there for him. When I pulled away, Jake¡¯s eyes were firmly fixed on mine. I realized his hand was on my waist and even after the kiss ended he didn¡¯t pull it away. ¡°Should I have done that?¡± I asked softly. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± he replied. ¡°But¡­ I¡¯m d you did.¡± I smiled, moving to sit beside him so that we were shoulder to shoulder with our heads leaning against the wall. ¡°You know, it might help to talk about her,¡± I said gently. ¡°Holding your grief inside all the time can¡¯t be healthy.¡± Jake looked towards me. ¡°She was¡­brilliant and honest and beautiful. She was a lot like you.¡± I smiled, pushing away the guilt I was feeling. ¡°How did you meet?¡± ¡°We met in the military,¡± he told me. ¡°We were in the same toon at one point, and that¡¯s when we fell in love. It wasn¡¯t a typical love story by any means. We shed at first, and I suppose that led to a lot of tension between us. At first, I thought that it was just a sexual rtionship, but as the months drew on, I realized I had fallen for her.¡± ¡°And, she felt the same way?¡± ¡°She did, yes,¡± Jake nodded. ¡°We got married a year after we¡¯d met.¡± ¡°It was sudden?¡± Jake nodded, and I could tell by the expression on his face that he was reliving certain moments as he narrated them. ¡°We eloped,¡± he recalled. ¡°My parents had both passed on, and Daphne didn¡¯t have the best rtionship with her parents. So, we decided it should just be the two of us. ¡°We never nned for Noah. We wanted to wait till our thirties to have children, once we had both retired from the military and we could be around to raise our kids. So when Daphne found out she was pregnant¡­ It was a shock. ¡°So we made a n. Daphne would go back home and have the baby, and I would continue in the military for a few more years. Her pregnancy was probably the best, most wonderful time in our marriage. She was so happy, and I was, too. Once we¡¯d gotten over the shock of having a baby so early, we both embraced our new future, and we started looking forward to parenthood.¡± I saw Jake¡¯s expression sadden considerably, and I knew something had changed in that time. I reached out to take his hand, and he gripped mine tightly as he continued. ¡°I took special leave to be here with her when she had Noah. I came a week before and was scheduled to leave a month after. I noticed that Daphne was a little different. She was quieter and more somber than usual, but I just chalked it up to nerves. Then Noah was born and¡­ I realized that something was wrong.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked. Jake sighed deeply. ¡°Daphne was not herself. She was sad, she cried all the time, she refused to breastfeed Noah, and some days she even refused to pick him up.¡± My body went cold as I realized what Daphne had suffered from. ¡°Post-partum depression,¡± I whispered. He nodded. ¡°A doctor suggested therapy, but Daphne refused to go. She holed up in her room for days after that appointment, and when she finally emerged, she told me she was re-enlisting.¡± I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling an intense wave of sadness hit me. I couldn¡¯t even imagine what Daphne would have gone through; I could imagine what Jake would have gone through. ¡°We fought a lot about that decision,¡± he said softly. ¡°I was not a good husband to her. I was¡­unkind.¡± ¡°Oh, Jake¡± ¡°I said awful things to her,¡± he said, and his voice broke slightly as he spoke. ¡°I used her of hating Noah and me; I told her she was an awful mother and a terrible human being. I told her that she would be punished for abandoning her son.¡± Jake hung his head down, and I could sense all the regret that he had lived with for the past three years. I pulled him closer to me and hugged him tightly. ¡°You were angry and confused, Jake,¡± I said. ¡°You didn¡¯t mean the things you said to her.¡± ¡°Still, those moments were herst memories of me.¡± ¡°Did you speak to her¡­after she left?¡± ¡°We spoke every week, more or less,¡± Jake admitted. ¡°But they were short, strained conversations. She wanted to see Noah; she said she wanted to see me. But¡­the truth is, I was jealous. She was out there doing what I wanted to do myself. I was drowning here with Noah, and I hated being left here alone with him. I hated her for forcing me to stay behind. And, I think she knew that.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not wrong to feel that way, Jake,¡± I told him softly. ¡°Every new parent feels that way as they have a child, and you didn¡¯t have help. It¡¯s normal.¡± ¡°It all seems so stupid now,¡± he said. ¡°Fighting with her over leaving¡­ Does it even matter? What mattered was that she came back.¡± ¡°Is this the first time you¡¯ve spoken about all this?¡± I asked. ¡°Pretty much,¡± he sighed, sounding tired. ¡°How do you feel now?¡± He was quiet for a moment, and I realized he was thinking about it. He turned to me with a surprised look on his face. ¡°I feel¡­better.¡± I smiled. ¡°That¡¯s a start.¡±N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. Jake was looking at me carefully, as though seeing me for the first time. He reached out and touched the side of my face. Then he leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. ¡°Stay with me tonight,¡± he whispered to me. I nodded once, and Jake got up off the floor and offered his hand to help me to my feet. Then he led me to the foot of his bed. He turned to me and pulled me closer to him as he started kissing my lips again. This time, I felt the rising build of desire course through me. There was everything sexual about this kiss, and I knew I could lose myself with this man. He undressed me slowly, taking his time and exploring my body with his hands. I was nervous, but my need was greater, and I allowed him to take the lead. He had shared so much with me tonight that it had created afort and ease between us that tranted itself into this moment. I reached out tentatively and started undressing Jake. The feel of his body was mind-bogglingly intoxicating. His body was hard, lean, sinewy, and ripped. It felt almost as though he had been carved from stone. We fell back onto his bed together, and as he continued to kiss me, I could feel his hard cock pressing against my thigh. I knew I should feel guilt, but I simply couldn¡¯t muster it up at the moment. Right then, I just wanted to be selfish. I wanted to lose myself in him and not have to think about anything or anyone else. Jake¡¯s hand encircled my breast, and I let out a little moan as his fingers squeezed the nipple. I knew he was about to slip inside me, but I felt the need to make one confession, even if it wasn¡¯t the important one. ¡°Jake,¡± I whispered, my voice came out sounding ragged because of the strength of my desire. ¡°Hmm?¡± ¡°You should know something about me.¡± ¡°Now?¡± His face slipped down, and his tongue circled my nipple. ¡°Yes,¡± I groaned. ¡°Okay, what is it?¡± he asked, without stopping what he was doing. I stifled the moan on my lips. ¡°I¡¯m¡­mmm¡­ I¡¯m a virgin¡­¡± Jake lifted his head and looked at me. ¡°Really?¡± I nodded. ¡°Do you want me to stop?¡± How could he even think that was what I wanted? ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°No, don¡¯t stop.¡± Jake pushed himself further down and settled himself between my legs. He pushed them apart and kissed my thighs. Then I felt his tongue between my legs, and I gasped out loud, gripping the sides of the bed violently as I tried not to lose my mind. The sensations rippling through my body were unlike anything I¡¯d felt before and I just wanted it to go on forever. When I was good and ready, Jake lifted himself over me and pushed himself inside me. He fucked me gently at first, letting my body grow ustomed to his. Then as the tension built, he fucked me harder, pummeling me with increasing speed and force. Every time I cried out, he seemed to slow his pace slightly, allowing my breath to catch up with him. My body felt like it was on fire and at some points, I honestly didn¡¯t know if I could take any more. It felt like¡­like I was going to float away suddenly. He was making me feel like I could fly. Everything about the experience was intoxicating from the sound of his breath in my ear to the feel of his cock,rge and hard, inside me. I clung to him as I orgasmed, trying to savor the moment, trying tomit every sensation to memory. Afterward, Iy with my head resting on Jake¡¯s chest. I listened to the steady rise and fall of his heartbeat and wondered if I could bottle this feeling and live off it for the rest of my life. I raised my head to nce at him. He was sleeping soundly, and his face looked peaceful and content in sleep. I kissed his cheek softly and stared at him for a moment. ¡°Forgive me,¡± I whispered to him. Episode 22 Jake¡¯s [POV] Deja vu. That¡¯s what it felt like as I turned underneath my warm sheets as little rays of sunlight peeping through the cracks in the blinds. I was still groggy, justing out of a heavy sleep, but I couldn¡¯t bring myself to think because there was this feeling that engulfed me. Everything was perfect. I could feel the blissful contentment that came with knowing everything in your world was in perfect order. I could feel her next to me, and the feel of her body curved in next to mine was heaven. We didn¡¯t have any ce to be because this was our honeymoon and neither one of us had to report anywhere. We were back home, and even though it was only for a week, it was enough.N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. I would wrap my arms around her and kiss her awake. She would turn in my arms andugh, and then we would wrestle and y until our y turned into lovemaking that finished with hunger. Then we would wrap ourselves infortable clothes and make our way into the kitchen to prepare something half edible. I felt as though it had all happened before. I turned in bed and reached for her. ¡°Daphne,¡± I whispered. ¡°It¡¯s time to get up.¡± As my grogginess began to fade, I started to be more and more aware of everything, including my memories. Had I just called out for Daphne? How could it be possible that Daphne was here next to me when she had been gone for years now? I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and nced down at the sleeping woman next to me. She was a beautiful woman. She had deep auburn hair and rosebud lips. Her eyes were closed, but I could remember their fierce hazel color. She had a strong resemnce to the woman I hadmitted my life to years ago but she was not Daphne. ¡°Kristen,¡± I whispered to myself as the memory ofst night came rushing forward to greet me. I had forgotten what released sex could be. I had forgotten how important and how necessary that kind of intimate contact was. My body felt strangely rxed, as though my muscles had been tight with tension and they had finally given way after a long time. I hadn¡¯t slept with anyone since Daphne. After her death, I had been so focused on Noah that sex hadn¡¯t even been a thought in my mind. Now, I realized how much I missed it. It felt good to feel like a man again. I had been Noah¡¯s father for so long that I¡¯d almost forgotten the other parts of me that had been buried since Daphne¡¯s funeral. Kristen was naked underneath the sheets, and I longed to slide in next to her and enter her again, but something stopped me. Maybe it was the thought that Noah would be awake soon. Maybe it was the guilt of knowing I had slept with someone other than my wife. Maybe it was abination of the two, but I pulled on my boxers and sat up in bed. Disturbed by my movement, Kristen sighed in her sleep and opened her eyes. She looked a little confused for a second and then she darted upright. ¡°Oh my God,¡± she gasped. ¡°What time is it?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± I said quickly. ¡°There¡¯s time before work.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± she said, her hair all in disarray. I couldn¡¯t help but lean in and push the stray strands of hair from her face. She seemed to like the gesture. She leaned in and kissed me on the lips, and I returned the kiss willingly. Those little gestures of intimacy sent a thrill through my body. It made me aware of how much I had given up in thest few years. I thought ofst night and was forced to admit that Daphne¡¯s death had crippled me emotionally, at least. I had pent up all my grief and anger, and it had taken Kristen to unlock it all. I remembered how patient and kind she had been to me the night before. She could have just walked away, but she had chosen to stay and put me back together again. Last night also taught me one very important thing: I needed to move on. Daphne was my past now, and if I allowed her to dominate my life, I would never be able to let go of my grief or my frustration. ¡°I should head out,¡± Kristen said as she looked around for her clothes. ¡°You can stay for breakfast,¡± I said. ¡°Uh¡­ I haven¡¯t bought a change of clothes for work, and I don¡¯t want to go in today wearing the same clothes as yesterday.¡± ¡°Right,¡± I nodded. I could tell she was self-conscious about dressing in front of me. She was blushing slightly as she pulled on her underwear and her bra. I didn¡¯t understand why she was so shy. ¡°You are aware that I¡¯ve seen everything, right?¡± I asked. Sheughed nervously. ¡°That was at night,¡± she said. ¡°There was less light.¡± ¡°You have a beautiful body,¡± I told her honestly. ¡°Thank you,¡± she said, flushing scarlet. ¡°I should be thanking you,¡± I said. ¡°You made me feel a whole lot betterst night.¡± She pulled on her blouse and came to sit next to me on the bed. ¡°I liked that you opened up to me,¡± she said. ¡°It made it a lot easier for me.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°I just mean¡­ I could never quite understand you before. You were this brooding enigma, and I was scared of saying anything because I was never sure what would set you off. Now that I know a little more about you, you don¡¯t scare me quite as much.¡± ¡°I scared you?¡± I asked in surprise. ¡°A little bit,¡± Kristen nodded. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I made you feel that way.¡± ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have cared quite so much if¡­¡± She trailed off, and I saw another blush blossom on her cheeks. Instantly, my curiosity increased tenfold. ¡°If?¡± I pressed. ¡°If I hadn¡¯t liked you so much,¡± she admitted. ¡°You liked me?¡± ¡°I did.¡± ¡°Even when I was being aplete asshole?¡± ¡°Even then,¡± she nodded. ¡°Doesn¡¯t say much about my self-esteem, huh?¡± ¡°It says a lot about your heart, though,¡± I pointed out. ¡°You¡¯re kind; it¡¯s rare to find.¡± Just then, we heard a noise outside my door, and I jumped to my feet. ¡°That¡¯ll be Noah,¡± I whispered to her. ¡°I¡¯ll go out there, distract him, and take him to the kitchen. Then you cane in a few minutester and act like you spent the night in the guest room, okay?¡± ¡°Sounds like a n,¡± Kristen nodded. I pulled on some pants and a shirt, and I opened the door to find Noah at the threshold of his door. ¡°Daddy?¡± he said, rubbing his eyes hard. I smiled, grabbed him, and lifted him onto my hip. ¡°Hi, little man,¡± I said, taking him into the kitchen. ¡°Did you sleep well?¡± ¡°Uh-huh,¡± he nodded. ¡°I had a dream, too.¡± ¡°No way; tell me about it?¡± I asked, ncing back at my bedroom door. ¡°You bought me a pony for my birthday,¡± Noah said. ¡°And, I named him Pecan.¡± I smiled. ¡°Is that a dream or a wish?¡± Noah¡¯s smile was big and slightly guilty. ¡°Both,¡± he admitted. I wasughing when Kristen walked in. ¡°Good morning,¡± she said. ¡°Krissie!¡± Noah screamed, running to her happily. ¡°You¡¯re here. I thought you went early likest time.¡± Kristen and I exchanged a nce as she bent down and hugged him. ¡°Not this time,¡± she said. ¡°Will you make me pancakes?¡± he asked. ¡°Noah, Kristen has to get going,¡± I said. ¡°Don¡¯t keep her.¡± ¡°No, don¡¯t worry,¡± she said willingly. ¡°I think I have time to whip up something fast before heading out.¡± It turned out she was a wizard in the kitchen. She grabbed together a handful of ingredients, and within ten minutes, she set down a pile of homemade pancakes, scrambled eggs, and fresh juice. ¡°Wow,¡± I said, tasting one of her banana pancakes. ¡°Where¡¯d you learn to cook like this?¡± ¡°Cookbooks and YouTube,¡± she replied. ¡°Mom was always busy, and it usually fell to me to do the cooking. I hated having the same thing over and over again, and I enjoyed experimenting, so I got pretty good.¡± ¡°Can I have another?¡± Noah asked, eyeing the te of pancakes. ¡°Here you go,¡± I said, putting another one on his te. ¡°Go easy on the maple syrup, buddy.¡± After a hasty farewell and a quick hug for Noah, Kristen left, and the two of us settled into our breakfast. Noah looked at me with a maple syrup-smeared smile. ¡°I wish you could cook like this,¡± he said. ¡°I can try.¡± ¡°You can ask Krissie to teach you,¡± he said. ¡°Maybe I will.¡± ¡°Then she¡¯ll be here more,¡± he said conspiratorially. ¡°Ah, is that your n?¡± I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Noah smiled, but he didn¡¯t trouble to deny it. ¡°I like her,¡± he said. ¡°She¡¯s pretty, and she reads good stories and hugs me a lot and makes me yummy food to eat.¡± ¡°She is pretty nice, huh?¡± ¡°Uh-huh,¡± he said, nodding his head vigorously. ¡°I like her eyes.¡± ¡°Me, too.¡± ¡°Mommy had eyes like that,¡± Noah said. I fell silent as I looked toward Daphne¡¯s picture in the living room. I hated that she couldn¡¯t be here to make pancakes for her son, but life happened, and there was nothing I could have done to stop it. At least, that was what I needed to tell myself. If I let myself believe that Daphne¡¯s death was preventable, then I would go insane, in and simple. I needed to look toward the future. I needed to focus on myself so that I could be the best version of myself for Noah. > I remembered my conversation with Aunt Margo the previous night. I told her to ept the date with her admirer. I told her to be happy. I had told her that Henry would have wanted her to be happy. Wouldn¡¯t Daphne have wanted the same thing for me? ¡°Daddy?¡± ¡°Sorry, buddy,¡± I said, turning my attention back to Noah. ¡°What did you say?¡± ¡°When is Krissieing back to see me?¡± I paused. ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­soon.¡± ¡°When is soon?¡± I smiled. ¡°Krissie has a full-time job, Noah-¡± ¡°She works for you,¡± he said, interrupting me. ¡°That¡¯s right, she does.¡± ¡°So maybe you can let here and y with me?¡± Iughed. ¡°You are too smart for your good.¡± ¡°Will you?¡± ¡°We¡¯ll see,¡± I said, refusing tomit to that promise. I knew I¡¯d never hear the end of it if I did. ¡°Now finish your pancakes, I¡¯ve got to get you ready for school.¡± As Noah finished his breakfast, my mind slipped to this morning when I had called Kristen Daphne. I was grateful she hadn¡¯t heard the slip, but I would need to be careful. I didn¡¯t want her to think that she was just a stand-in for my dead wife. I realized at the start that I really cared about Kristen and genuinely wanted her in my life. Last night had certainly changed the dynamic between us, and it had also made me hungry again. It had made me hungry for love, sex, intimacy, and forpanionship. But most importantly, it made me hungry for life. Episode 23 Kristen¡¯s [POV] I sighed with relief as I entered my shoebox apartment. It was nice to be back home after a long day of work. I hadn¡¯t seen Jake very much over thest few days because he was busy ferrying Noah around, having yet to find the right babysitter. So, he was mostly just working from home. I got about fourteen emails from him daily, but they were always polite and strictly professional. It wasn¡¯t like he was ignoring the fact that we had slept together, however. He generally called me in the evenings once he had put Noah to bed. It was always a five-minute conversation about general things, but I knew the real purpose was to show me he wasn¡¯t turning back into a jackass. I appreciated the effort I knew how difficult it must have been for him to juggle work and fatherhood. To help him, I had done some research during my lunch break and put together a list of babysitters in the area that came with credentials and ster reputations. I had sent it to him earlier this morning, hoping he would be able to find someone he liked and trusted, or more importantly, someone Noah liked. It was almost eight o¡¯clock, so it had been an unusually long workday. Because Jake was not in the office as much, I had a little more on my te than usual. I had even sat in on a few meetings on his behalf when he¡¯d had to cancel at thest minute. I didn¡¯t mind working overtime, especially knowing that it allowed Jake some breathing room to take care of Noah. I removed my jacket, went into my room, and changed into sweatpants and afortable t-shirt. I realized as I walked back into my living room which doubled as the kitchen, that I missed Jake. I missed Noah, too. I wanted to call and say hello to both of them, but then I thought better of it. I didn¡¯t want to overstep my bounds, and I didn¡¯t want Noah to start thinking of me as anything other than his babysitter¡­ at least right now. Even as the thought crossed my mind, I wondered what was possible for my future with Jake. Did I even have a future with Jake? I felt a sinking feeling in my gut as I realized that I could never really have a future with him as long as my secret stood between us. How could I expect him to look past the fact that I¡¯d kept this massive piece of information from him? Suddenly deted, I decided to eat something and turn in early. I had just put some macaroni on the stove to boil when I heard my phone ring. Hoping that it was Jake, I jumped to answer it, but then I saw my mother¡¯s name on the screen. ¡°Fuck,¡± I sighed under my breath. I hadn¡¯t spoken to her in months; we hadn¡¯t exactly parted on the best terms, and I had studiously avoided her calls ever since I¡¯d left Michigan. But now enough time had passed that I¡¯d stopped feeling resolute and started to feel guilty. After all, our issues aside, she was still my mother and I couldn¡¯t just wish her away just because it was easier that way. Taking a deep breath, I picked up and answered. ¡°Mom?¡± ¡°You answered,¡± she replied, sounding genuinely shocked. ¡°I¡¯m full of surprises.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t I know that.¡± Her tone had an edge to it. ¡°Mom¡­ We haven¡¯t spoken in months; please don¡¯t start with me.¡± An ufortable silence filled the air. ¡°How is life in San Diego?¡± she asked, apparently choosing to listen to me this time. Grateful she had conceded, I was more than happy to answer her question. ¡°Great,¡± I replied. ¡°I love it here.¡± ¡°You settled in okay?¡± ¡°I did.¡± ¡°Where are you living?¡± ¡°An apartment block about a half hour from where I work.¡± ¡°Is it¡­ okay?¡± ¡°It¡¯s small,¡± I said. ¡°But the neighborhood¡¯s decent.¡± ¡°Do you have any friends?¡± ¡°Not many, to be honest,¡± I said. ¡°But I did make one good friend. We met at the gym and see each other at least once every week. Her name¡¯s Melody; she¡¯s not native to San Diego, either. She moved here for college and then loved it so much she decided to stay.¡± I could tell that Mom couldn¡¯t care less about Melody, but it was safer to talk about her than anything else. I could sense Mom¡¯s tone changing slightly, and I hoped she wasn¡¯t going to go there. ¡°And work?¡± she asked. ¡°How¡¯s work?¡± ¡°Great,¡± I said shortly, before attempting to change the subject. ¡°How are you? You haven¡¯t told me what you¡¯ve been up totely?¡± ¡°That¡¯s because this is the first time you¡¯ve deigned to answer my call in months.¡± I closed my eyes for a moment. ¡°Mom¡­¡± ¡°I know, I know¡­ You don¡¯t want to talk about it,¡± she said. ¡°But sometimes we have to talk about the ufortable things. We didn¡¯t exactly leave things on the best of terms.¡± ¡°Because you refuse to let me live my life,¡± I said. ¡°Because you refuse to acknowledge that I¡¯m a grown woman capable of making my own decisions.¡± Mom snorted at that. ¡°Please.¡± ¡°What?¡± I demanded. ¡°It¡¯s not a question of making decisions, Kristen,¡± she said curtly. ¡°It¡¯s about making the right decisions.¡± ¡°Oh that¡¯s rich,ing from you,¡± I snapped. ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°Is Ted still around?¡± I demanded. ¡°Or has he left you again?¡± There was a heartbeat of silence from the other end. ¡°Dad,¡± she corrected. ¡°Would it kill you to call him dad?¡± ¡°It just might actually,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ll stick with Ted, thank you. And, you haven¡¯t answered my question yet. Is he still there?¡± ¡°He¡¯s¡­ been around.¡± ¡°What does that mean?¡± ¡°Hees and goes.¡± ¡°Like always, huh?¡± I said coldly. ¡°Some things never change.¡± ¡°He is your father,¡± she said. ¡°In name only,¡± I shot back. ¡°He has never been my father.¡± ¡°Kristen¡± ¡°No,¡± I snapped. ¡°He doesn¡¯t get to waltz in and out of our lives whenever he pleases and expect to be weed each time. You may not be willing to admit the truth, but I epted it a long time ago.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± Mom asked angrily. ¡°And, what truth is that?¡± ¡°That Ted never really cared about either one of us. He just used you because he knew you would just keep taking him back no matter how badly he treated you.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not true¡± ¡°Bullshit,¡± I interrupted. ¡°I don¡¯t know what kind of sick power he has over you, but it¡¯s worked for him all these years. You need to wake up and face the truth, Mom.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you think that¡¯s a little hypocritical of you?¡± she asked pointedly. ¡°Especially given the reason you moved to San Diego in the first ce.¡± ¡°That wasn¡¯t the reason,¡± I said defensively. ¡°It wasn¡¯t the¡­ whole reason.¡± ¡°No?¡± she asked. ¡°Then why were you looking him up?¡± ¡°You had no right to go through myputer,¡± I said furiously. ¡°Spare me.¡± I shook my head. ¡°You are unbelievable,¡± I said. ¡°How did you manage to turn this around and make it seem like I¡¯m the one with the problem?¡± ¡°Let me ask you this,¡± she said, in an almost smug voice. ¡°Have you told him?¡± ¡°What?¡± I said, pretending like I didn¡¯t know what she was asking. Inside, however, I was panicking. This was the very thing that I¡¯d been worrying about for the past few days. Mom was right about some things, but the rebel in me couldn¡¯t bring myself to admit that. ¡°Oh, you know who I¡¯m talking about,¡± she said firmly. ¡°Have you told Jake who you are?¡± ¡°I¡­ no,¡± I said, unable to avoid the question. ¡°So what? He just thinks you¡¯re his secretary and nothing else?¡± ¡°I will tell him.¡± ¡°When?¡± she demanded. ¡°When the time is right.¡± Sheughed. ¡°I never understood why you cared so much about Daphne, about her career and her life and her family.¡± ¡°Why do I care?¡± I said. ¡°How could I not?¡± ¡°And Jake?¡± Mom asked. ¡°You care about him, too?¡± I paused, wondering if she could smell the guilt on me. ¡°Well, Kristen?¡± she asked. ¡°Do you?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I said, in a small voice. ¡°And, do you think he cares about you?¡± ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Even if he does, it won¡¯tst very long,¡± Mom said bluntly. ¡°Especially after he finds out you¡¯re Daphne¡¯s half-sister.¡± Silence fell between us, and I took a moment to try and sort through my tangled thoughts. It was always like this when Mom and I got into it. She left me feeling strangely empty. I wondered if s he enjoyed trying to tear apart my life because, on some intrinsic level, she knew her life was forfeit. ¡°Have you slept with him?¡± Mom asked. Shocked by the question, I lied instantly. ¡°No,¡± I said, without missing a beat. ¡°You¡¯re lying,¡± she said. ¡°I can tell.¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m not l¡± ¡°Is that why you moved?¡± Mom asked. ¡°To seduce your brother-inw? I have to say¡­ I¡¯m surprised, especially after all the judgment you rained down on me.¡± I wanted to throw the phone. I wanted to scream obscenities at her, but my fingers were numb, and my heart was cold with anger. ¡°Don¡¯t¡­ Don¡¯t even try to insinuate that you and I are alike in any way,¡± I said firmly.Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°This is not the same thing. Even if there was something between Jake and me¡­ He¡¯s single and so am I. Ted was not single when you got involved with him. He was another woman¡¯s husband. He had a wife¡­ He had a child.¡± ¡°And you¡¯re the bleeding heart that always believed you could change the world for the better, is that it?¡± Mom asked. ¡°What were you trying to do, Kristen? Go there to San Diego and make Jake fall in love with you. Then what? You¡¯re going to spring your little secret on him and watch him fall more in love with you?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯te here for that,¡± I said, through gritted teeth. ¡°I came here to get away from you and your toxic lifestyle. I came to San Diego because Daphne loved this city. I looked up Jake before I left because I was nning on meeting him and introducing myself as Daphne¡¯s half-sister. I just wanted to know more about Daphne. And, I was hoping to get to know my nephew a little bit. I never intended for my identity to be a secret.¡± ¡°And yet?¡± ¡°He was different than I expected him to be,¡± I said honestly. ¡°Something about him was¡­ broken. How could I ask him to share Daphne with me when he hadn¡¯t fully gotten over her himself? I got caught up in the moment, and I ended up applying for a job as his secretary. I never thought I¡¯d get it. And once I did¡­¡± ¡°You were scared to tell him the truth.¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I sighed. ¡°Do you think he¡¯ll ept that story?¡± Mom asked. ¡°Apparently you don¡¯t.¡± ¡°Sounds like a far-fetched excuse,¡± she replied. ¡°You need to resign and get on with your life. Instead of staying and trying to steal Daphne¡¯s.¡± I cringed at her words. ¡°How can you even say that to me?¡± I demanded. ¡°That¡¯s not what I¡¯m trying to do.¡± ¡°Do you remember the day I met Daphne¡¯s mother?¡± she asked pointedly. I felt my body grow cold as I realized what she was implying. ¡°Mom, this is none of your business. Stay out of it.¡± ¡°Funny¡­ That n of action didn¡¯t apply to you, did it?¡± ¡°Why can¡¯t you just leave me alone?¡± I demanded. ¡°Tell him the truth, Kristen,¡± Mom said coldly. ¡°Or you will force me to handle the situation.¡± ¡°What?¡± But it was toote she had already hung up. I stared at my empty kitchen table and realized that I had seriously overboiled my macaroni. It was just as well; I couldn¡¯t eat a thing anyway. Episode 24 Jake¡¯s [POV] I felt like a teenager again. I¡¯d forgotten the strange and juvenile impulses that came with being a young adolescent and discovering that your body had urges and desires you couldn¡¯t always control. But it was more than just desire. It was the increased pulse every time she walked past. It was the way I looked up excitedly when she walked into the room. It was the way my mindnded on her every time I had a moment to myself. The first few days after we¡¯d slept together, I had been scrambling around trying to find someonepetent to rece J. Kristen had picked up a lot of the ck for me when I worked from home. Thankfully, a few days ago, she sent me this list with contact numbers of all the best babysitters and nannies in San Diego. It had been an extensive list with details about every person on it. It had taken me eleven meetings and three-second interviews, but I¡¯d finally found someone I was happy with. She was an older woman named ine Be, she was fifty-two years old, and she was a primary school teacher for fifteen years before she went back to school to study child psychology. After that, she¡¯d decided she wanted to look after children on a smaller basis. The catch was that she wasn¡¯t a live-in and wouldn¡¯t be on call twenty-four-seven. She had made that abundantly clear to me. She was willing toe when I needed her to but insisted on at least a day¡¯s notice beforehand. It wasn¡¯t ideal, but I decided that desperate times called for desperate measures. The list Kristen had given me also offered a choice. I decided that in times of emergency when ine was too busy toe, I would call my second-best option Emily was in her twenties, young and too bubbly in my opinion, but enthusiastic and willing toe at thest minute if I happened to need her. I didn¡¯t like the idea of alternating between babysitters, but at the moment, I couldn¡¯t afford to be picky. With that problem taken care of for the time being, I had gotten back to work, hoping to make a dent in all the work that had piled up over thest week, but unfortunately, that was proving to be difficult. Especially because Kristen kept walking into the office every hour with files, notes, and paperwork needing my attention. It didn¡¯t matter what she wore; I was instantly attracted to her. Every time she bent over, I would catch a glimpse of her cleavage and the boy in me did cartwheels. Every time she turned away from me, I found myself checking out her ass as she walked away. I realized how hard up I had been before. The difference was that I hadn¡¯t been made aware of exactly how hard up I was. Now that the sexual being in me had been awakened, I didn¡¯t quite know how to put him back in the box. Still, I knew I had to control myself. Sexual desire was one thing, but emotional readiness was another thing altogether. I still thought about that moment the morning after we had slept together and the fact that I¡¯d referred to Kristen as Daphne. It told me that I needed to figure out a few things first before I let sex cloud my judgment. Which was exactly why I wanted to get to know Kristen before sleeping with her again. All this time, she¡¯d been my secretary. I didn¡¯t know anything about her or her personal life, but now she was this new and exciting woman I was dating. And, it was important to me that I find out who she was before I let myself get invested. Just then, there was a knock at my door. ¡°Come in,¡± I called. Kristen walked in with a thick yellow film that made my head spin. ¡°Sorry to disturb you,¡± she said. ¡°But this just came in from New Zend details of the new contract.¡± She was looking lovely today. She was wearing a nice ck skirt, and a blush pink blouse that brought out the hazel in her eyes, and her auburn hair cascaded down one shoulder. She looked out of ce in my office actually, almost as though she belonged on a runway somewhere. ¡°Geez.¡± Kristen smiled at me sympathetically, eyeing the massive file. ¡°The meeting¡¯s set for the end of October.¡± ¡°A month away?¡± ¡°A little under three weeks,¡± she corrected. I sighed. ¡°I thought I¡¯d have a little more free time after I closed the deal with the Japanese.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a good thing,¡± she said. ¡°You¡¯re doing well. Everyone says so.¡± ¡°Who¡¯s everyone?¡± I asked with one raised eyebrow. ¡°The people in this division,¡± she said. ¡°Thispany was badly mismanaged before you came along.¡± ¡°Is that why the board of directors is so happy now?¡± ¡°So,¡± Kristen smiled. I nced at my watch. ¡°It¡¯s lunchtime¡­¡± ¡°Oh right,¡± she nodded. ¡°Sorry, I¡¯ll leave you to it.¡± ¡°Uh wait, Kristen,¡± I called out after her, surprised that she had taken that as a dismissal. ¡°Yes?¡± she turned to me questioningly. ¡°Why don¡¯t you bring your lunch in here and we can eat together?¡± I suggested. She seemed surprised but happy at the prospect. ¡°That sounds nice, but won¡¯t it look a little strange to people?¡± ¡°Why should it?¡± I asked. ¡°You¡¯re my secretary, I¡¯m behind on work, so we¡¯re working and eating at the same time. That¡¯spletely innocent.¡± ¡°If you say so,¡± she nodded. She retrieved her lunch and joined me at my desk. Feeling as though my desk was creating a formal barrier between us, I walked around it and sat next to her. I noticed that she was fumbling a little with her lunch and realized she was nervous. ¡°So, how¡¯s the new nanny?¡± Kristen asked. ¡°Remains to be seen,¡± I replied. ¡°So far, she seems to know what she¡¯s doing, and she seems to like Noah a lot, too. That helps. I¡¯ve got another babysitter on speed dial, in case of emergencies.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t know that.¡± ¡°ine won¡¯te without notice,¡± I exined. ¡°But Emily will; she¡¯s younger and more flexible. I need that with my work schedule.¡± ¡°Right,¡± Kristen nodded. ¡°Has Noah met them?¡± ¡°He¡¯s met ine a few times now, and he¡¯s met Emily once,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m hoping not to use Emily as much¡­ But I have no idea how this is going to y out. I need Mary Poppins right about now.¡± Kristen smiled. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, you¡¯ll find her.¡± ¡°You sound sure.¡± ¡°Hey, there¡¯s bound to be someone out there,¡± she saidfortingly. ¡°And, I suppose until then, ine and Emily will just have to do. But if all else fails, I¡¯d be more than happy to step in.¡± ¡°You¡¯re offering up your babysitting services?¡± ¡°I am,¡± she nodded. ¡°And best of all, I won¡¯t charge you a penny.¡± ¡°Wow, you like me that much?¡± I teased.Exclusive content from N?velDrama.Org. ¡°I like Noah that much,¡± she corrected me. Weughed, and I reflected on how nice and easy it was for me to talk to her. She looked so sexy, sitting there with her blouse slightly parted at the neckline and her hair cascading down her breasts. I imagined what it would be like to take her right here on my desk, but I had to suppress the urge. I had promised myself that sex would have to wait until we knew each other better. ¡°Kristen?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± she said, looking up at me. ¡°I like spending time with you.¡± She blushed slightly and looked down for a moment. When she looked back up at me, I saw that there was an edge of sadness in her eyes that I couldn¡¯t quite understand. ¡°I like spending time with you, too,¡± she replied. ¡°I know we haven¡¯t got a chance to do that much¡± ¡°Hey, you have a demanding job and a child,¡± Kristen said. ¡°I understand that. You don¡¯t have to worry about exining that to me. I¡¯m not one of those girls who¡¯s scared of being neglected. I don¡¯t mind ying second fiddle to Noah. I expect it.¡± I smiled. ¡°Thank you for saying that.¡± She nodded. She looked like she wanted to reach out and touch me or kiss me¡­ but I wasn¡¯t quite sure which. ¡°Jake,¡± she said before I could continue. ¡°Can I ask you a kind of personal question?¡± ¡°Shoot,¡± I said willingly. ¡°Well, I guess I wanted to know¡­ if you were still in love with your wife,¡± Kristen asked tentatively. ¡°And, remember that there¡¯s no wrong answer.¡± I raised my eyebrows. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t mind if I said I was still in love with her?¡± ¡°No,¡± she said quickly, and then she stalled a little. ¡°Well¡­ maybe I would mind a little, but that would be purely selfish on my part. I would understand, of course at least I would try to.¡± I knew it was an important question, and I wanted to be fair to her, as well as honest about my feelings. ¡°I will always love Daphne,¡± I said atst. ¡°But I think I¡¯m starting to realize that she¡¯s my past, and I need to start focusing on my future.¡± Kristen listened carefully. She looked conflicted again, and I wondered if I saw fear in her eyes for a moment. ¡°Thank you for answering honestly,¡± she replied finally. ¡°I don¡¯te with a clean te, Kristen.¡± ¡°I know that,¡± she said. ¡°And, I don¡¯t care.¡± ¡°You might careter.¡± ¡°We all have pasts, Jake,¡± she told me gently. ¡°I understand that your wife was an important part of your life. And, I know she¡¯s still an important part of your life. How can she not be? You have a wonderful child with her. But I just need to know that there¡¯s room in your life for¡­ someone else.¡± I smiled. ¡°I think there is,¡± I replied. ¡°And, that¡¯s something I realized only recently. You were the one that helped me realize it.¡± ¡°Really?¡± she asked. ¡°When?¡± ¡°Around the time you kissed me for the first time,¡± I said. ¡°The night we had sex.¡± She blushed. ¡°That night was very special to me,¡± she said, in an almost shy tone. ¡°It was for me, too. I like you, Kristen,¡± I said. ¡°I want to get to know you better. But I also think I need to take things slow, for obvious reasons.¡± ¡°I understand.¡± ¡°I¡¯d like to have dinner with you this weekend,¡± I continued. ¡°But¡­ let¡¯s take sex off the table.¡± I saw a glimmer of surprise in Kristen¡¯s eyes, but I also noticed that she looked pleased. ¡°I¡¯d love to have dinner with you,¡± she agreed. I hoped I could hold out and keep my hands off her at the end of the night. I knew it would be a challenge, but I wanted to see this through because I wanted to put my past behind me. Finally, after three long years, I was ready to move on. Episode 25 Kristen¡¯s [POV] I could almost feel the burn in my lungs as I pushed myself to keep running for another minute and thirty-four seconds. My legs were aching, and I could feel my willpower slipping, but I gritted my teeth together and forced myself to keep going. The moment I reached fifteen minutes, I reduced the treadmill speed until I was at a walking pace and panted with exhaustion. ¡°You are insane,¡± Melody announced, shaking her head at me. I didn¡¯t answer her right away. I waited till I could talk without huffing out my words and then I spoke. ¡°It¡¯s exhrating¡­ at least when you¡¯ve finished.¡± ¡°You ran for fifteen straight minutes.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the point, to train your body to keep at it for longer periods,¡± I said. ¡°When I first started, I could only run at that speed for four minutes; I kid you not.¡± ¡°Fuck,¡± Melody said, stopping her treadmill. ¡°There¡¯s such a thing as overdoing it.¡± I rolled my eyes and stopped my machine, too. We toweled ourselves off and headed towards the changing rooms to shower. ¡°I like pushing myself,¡± I said.Exclusive content from N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Not me,¡± she said with augh. ¡°I like to befortable, even when I exercise. I only wish I could have a body as fine as yours without all the insane shit you do.¡± Iughed. ¡°You have a great body, too.¡± ¡°My ass is not as tight as yours, and my stomach could use a little toning,¡± she said. ¡°But fuck it, I don¡¯t mind a little flesh on my body. Gives the guys something to grab onto at night.¡± ¡°Win-win, huh?¡± Melody winked at me. ¡°How about lunch?¡± ¡°You want me to gain back all the calories I just lost?¡± ¡°Why not?¡± I smiled. ¡°There¡¯s this cafe around the corner. We can walk there, and they have great sds.¡± ¡°Deal,¡± she nodded. As I showered, I couldn¡¯t help but think about Jake. It seemed like any time I had a moment to spare, my thoughts turned instinctively toward him. It was both terrifying and pathetic, and I wished I could be less affected than I was by his presence. It didn¡¯t help that he always looked so handsome and suave. I wiped myself dry and slipped on some jeans and a statement t-shirt, then I blow-dried my hair quickly and joined Melody outside. After our vigorous workout session, both of us set a nice, slow pace to the cafe. ¡°You know where I go wrong?¡± Melody asked, picking up our conversation where we had left off. ¡°I hate cooking, so I end up buying the cheap shit that takes three seconds to microwave, or I just order in.¡± I shook my head at her. ¡°All you need is a few basic skills, and you¡¯ll do fine in the kitchen. I made myself some chickenst night for dinner, and it was both healthy and delicious.¡± Melody sighed. ¡°You¡¯re so much moremitted than I am; it¡¯s annoying.¡± Iughed. ¡°I could give you some pointers. Or send you some easy recipes that¡¯ll take you no time at all to cook.¡± ¡°Okay, I¡¯m game.¡± ¡°Excellent,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ll send you over some links tonight.¡± ¡°Maybe, if all goes well, I could even cook for Gareth.¡± I looked at Melody in surprise and then shook my head at her. ¡°What?¡± she asked defensively. ¡°I should have known this had something to do with a guy.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not just about him,¡± she said quickly. ¡°I want to cook for myself, too¡­ It¡¯s just that I thought making a home-cooked meal sends a sort of personalized and romantic message. It shows you¡¯re interested.¡± ¡°And, are you?¡± ¡°Oh.¡± I smiled as we turned the corner towards the cafe. ¡°Where did you meet him?¡± ¡°In the park,¡± she said. ¡°He caught my eye when he was walking his dog. We happened to bump into each other and fireworks ensued.¡± ¡°He¡¯s a dog lover?¡± ¡°Yup,¡± she nodded happily. ¡°He¡¯s got two Australian silky terriers. They¡¯re the cutest. One¡¯s named Smithy, and the other one is Delh.¡± ¡°What happened to the guy you were seeing before Gareth?¡± I asked curiously. ¡°Wasn¡¯t he a barista or something?¡± ¡°Oh right, that didn¡¯t work out.¡± ¡°I gathered that much,¡± I said. ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°We didn¡¯t click,¡± she said, with a shrug. ¡°Didn¡¯t you sleep with him a couple of times?¡± ¡°Turns out once the sex had fizzled out, we weren¡¯t that interested in each other, after all.¡± ¡°Oh, Mel.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t oh, Mel me,¡± she said firmly. ¡°The sex was good. I don¡¯t regret it.¡± ¡°Fair enough.¡± We sat down at a nice little table overlooking the street and ordered a couple of sds to share and some drinks that served as our special treat for working out so hard at the gym. Once we¡¯d gotten our food, Melody turned to me and raised her eyebrows. ¡°So, any romantic developments with you?¡± I hadn¡¯t nned on mentioning it to her just yet, especially because things with Jake and me were soplicated. But a part of me also wanted to talk about it with someone. I just wanted to confide in a friend and get some objective advice. It wasn¡¯t like I could talk to my mother about any of this. Her conversation with me stayed in my head for the whole week. Now and again, I remembered her veiled threat and my palms started sweating. But I figured she was just trying to scare me. That was what Mom did best-she liked to y games with me to prove her point. ¡°Well¡­¡± Melody let out a little squeal. ¡°No way!¡± she cried. ¡°You have met someone.¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s not anyone new.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± she said, looking a little confused. ¡°What does that mean?¡± ¡°Uh¡­ I kind of slept with Jake.¡± Melody stopped short for a moment and looked at me strangely. ¡°Wait¡­ Jake, as in your boss?¡± I blushed slightly as I nodded. ¡°The very same.¡± There was another second of silence before Melody grabbed my hand and squealed again. ¡°You are kidding me? Is this for real or are you just pulling my leg?¡± Iughed. ¡°I assure you, I am not just trying to pull your leg. We did sleep together.¡± ¡°When?¡± ¡°A few weeks ago.¡± ¡°And, you tell me this now?¡± She sounded thrilled and annoyed with me in equal parts. I smiled. ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure how it would go, and I didn¡¯t want to tell you before I knew that it was¡­ going somewhere.¡± ¡°Wait so you¡¯re in a rtionship with him?¡± ¡°Not quite.¡± Melody frowned. ¡°Okay, you know what? Let¡¯s start from the beginning.¡± I smiled. ¡°Okay.¡± ¡°How did it happen?¡± she asked. ¡°Last I knew, he was being a dick again, and you were nning on quitting.¡± ¡°I was,¡± I nodded. ¡°I was about to hand in my resignation when he had a babysitter emergency.¡± ¡°You¡¯re kidding?¡± she said. ¡°Another one.¡± ¡°Someone needed to look after Noah and¡­¡± ¡°You offered?¡± Melody asked in disbelief. ¡°Well, I like Noah. He¡¯s such a great kid, and I felt bad, so I offered to take care of him for the rest of the night. We had a nice time together¡± ¡°Are you getting to the good part anytime soon?¡± Melody asked impatiently. Rolling my eyes, I continued with the story. ¡°I had just finished putting Noah to bed when I heard a sounding from Jake¡¯s room, and I went to investigate. He hade back home and looked very upset¡­¡± ¡°About?¡± ¡°His wife,¡± I replied. ¡°He finally opened up about her to me. I suppose it made me realize how difficult it has been for him all these years, having to deal with everything on his own, including raising Noah.¡± ¡°Ah, I see how this went,¡± she said, giving me a suggestive smile. ¡°Youforted him right out of his clothes.¡± I smirked. ¡°It wasn¡¯t quite like that¡­ But generally speaking¡­ That was the gist of it.¡± ¡°So did he seduce you or was it the other way around?¡± ¡°Well, I was the one who kissed him.¡± ¡°Nice,¡± she said with obvious admiration. ¡°I¡¯m impressed. I didn¡¯t know you had it in you.¡± Iughed. ¡°What is that supposed to mean?¡± ¡°I just didn¡¯t peg you for the kind of girl who¡¯d make the first move.¡± ¡°You know what?¡± I said. ¡°I didn¡¯t think I was, either. I guess I just got caught up in the moment. We¡¯d spent almost an hour talking about these intensely personal moments in his life, and it just felt right to kiss him.¡± ¡°How was the sex?¡± Melody asked bluntly. I smiled. ¡°Amazing.¡± ¡°Yup, he looks like he¡¯s amazing in bed,¡± she nodded. Iughed. ¡°He was¡­ a very generous lover.¡± ¡°Was he the best you¡¯ve ever had?¡± she asked pointedly. I paused for a moment, wondering how to answer this question. She misread my hesitation. ¡°He wasn¡¯t?¡± she said. ¡°That¡¯s surprising, the way you were talking, I just assumed¡± ¡°No, no,¡± I said cutting her off. ¡°He was the best I¡¯ve ever had. It¡¯s just¡­¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± I was feeling a little nervous to admit it out loud, but I decided to just rip off the Band-Aid and have done with it. ¡°Well¡­ it was my first time.¡± ¡°What was?¡± she asked,pletely confused. I raised my eyebrows at her. ¡°That night with Jake¡­ was my first time.¡± ¡°First time doing what?¡± I smiled. ¡°Having sex.¡± Her brow furrowed a little deeper. ¡°You mean it was your first time in a long time?¡± I shook my head. ¡°Nope.¡± ¡°Hold on,¡± she said, lowering her voice a little. ¡°Are you telling me that you were a virgin before Jake?¡± I smiled. ¡°Jackpot; she finally got it.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a virgin?¡± Melody eximed. ¡°Well, obviously not anymore,¡± I said. ¡°But up until a week or so ago¡­ Yes, I was a virgin.¡± ¡°Fuck.¡± ¡°Some people wait to have sex, you know,¡± I said. ¡°Not any people I know.¡± ¡°Until me, of course.¡± ¡°Wow,¡± Melody said, clearly processing my revtion. ¡°Howe it took so long? You¡¯re a hottie; I can¡¯t believe you didn¡¯t have the option before now?¡± ¡°I did,¡± I confirmed. ¡°It was just different for me.¡± ¡°How?¡± I smiled. ¡°Maybe I was just waiting for my soul mate.¡± ¡°Are you serious?¡± she asked, mistaking my tone. Iughed. ¡°No, Mel,¡± I said. ¡°I was joking.¡± ¡°Seriously, though, why did you wait so long?¡± I sighed. ¡°I came close when I was about seventeen. I was in the back of Bobby Trevor¡¯s father¡¯s car, and we were making out. His hands were all over me, and we were both half-naked. He removed my panties and then¡­ he came.¡± ¡°Before¡± ¡°Yup.¡± ¡°Oh boy.¡± Iughed. ¡°He was embarrassed¡­ so embarrassed in fact that he didn¡¯t look at me or talk to me after that. I guess that experience made me realize he didn¡¯t care about me. He wanted my body. I was just a piece of meat to him. It made me see sex differently, and it made me raise my standards. I wasn¡¯t about to give myself to a guy who didn¡¯t give a shit.¡± ¡°Surely, there were other guys between then and now?¡± ¡°You¡¯d be surprised,¡± I said. ¡°I told myself that I¡¯d only ever sleep with a man I was deeply connected to. And that didn¡¯t happen for me.¡± ¡°Until Jake?¡± Melody asked. ¡°Right¡­¡± ¡°Wait, so what you¡¯re telling me is that you¡¯ve fallen for your boss?¡± I hesitated. ¡°I¡¯m falling for him,¡± I admitted. I felt a little surge of fear as I made that admission out loud. It forced me to confront the choices I was making and the secret I was still keeping from Jake. What would he do when he found out who I was? How would he react if he realized I was his dead wife¡¯s half-sister? I knew I should have told him a long time ago, but I was just too cowardly to have even attempted the conversation. Now I had dug an even deeper hole for myself by sleeping with him before telling him the truth. I knew I would have to tell him-and soon. I made a promise to myself that I woulde clean with Jake, for the sake of this new and exciting rtionship we had embarked upon. I just hoped that it wasn¡¯t toote for me. ¡°He has a kid,¡± Melody reminded me. ¡°I love his kid,¡± I admitted. ¡°Noah is special.¡± ¡°It¡¯s still a bigmitment, getting involved with a guy who has a child.¡± ¡°I know, but it doesn¡¯t matter to me at this point.¡± ¡°Fuck, present tense, Kristen,¡± she said, looking at me carefully. ¡°You¡¯ve fallen.¡± Episode 26 Jake¡¯s [POV] ¡°When¡¯s my next appointment?¡± I asked. ¡°An hour from now,¡± Kristen replied. ¡°It¡¯s only two blocks away, so you still have a while left.¡± ¡°Right,¡± I nodded. ¡°Thank you, Kristen.¡± ¡°Of course, sir,¡± she nodded. There were two other people from the department in my office today, Matt and Samantha who were coordinating a few things with me. Because of their presence, Kristen and I were forced to maintain an air of stiff professionalism and formality. She had seamlessly fallen into calling me sir again, and I had changed my tone to one of impersonal indifference. It was harder than I expected to look at Kristen without smiling and to keep my eyes from wandering to her even in small, quiet moments. She was wearing a white dress with a high cor. Her auburn hair was turned up into a tight knot at the back of her head, and her hazel eyes looked particrly bright this morning. She looked like a 1920s movie star, and I wondered what on earth she was doing working under me when she could have been out there conquering the world. Just as she was leading Matt and Samantha out of my office, Kristen turned back and gave me a secret smile that was meant for me alone. I felt a little tingle of desire, and then the door closed on the three of them. Sighing, I leaned back in my seat. I had made this big speech to her not even two days ago about taking things slow and waiting to have sex until we had gotten to know each other better. But already, my resolve was weakening. My mind kept wandering to the night we had slept together. I kept remembering the way her thighs had felt wrapped around my waist, the way her hair had tickled my skin, and the way her mouth had felt on my neck and my lips. She was like my siren, pulling me in, reminding me what it was like to be a red-blooded American man again. I was looking through my papers, preparing for my meeting in an hour, when a call came through on my line. Only Noah¡¯s caregivers and teachers had that number, so I answered immediately. I had dropped him off barely two hours ago. ¡°Hello?¡± I said, forgetting all phone etiquette in the panic of the moment. ¡°Hello?¡± a voice I recognized as one of Noah¡¯s teachers spoke. ¡°Am I speaking to Mr. Middleton?¡± ¡°You are,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m Kate Lowry,¡± she introduced herself. ¡°I¡¯m Noah¡¯s teacher.¡± ¡°Is Noah alright?¡± I asked impatiently. She heard the panic in my voice and rushed to reassure me. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Mr. Middleton, I think Noah¡¯s just caught a stomach bug. It¡¯s been going aroundtely. He¡¯s been feeling a little under the weather ever since you dropped him off. It¡¯s nothing a little hot soup and rest won¡¯t fix.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± I said, feeling a little better now that I knew it was nothing terrible. ¡°How is he now?¡± ¡°He threw up a little while ago, so we thought it was best to call and inform you,¡± she said. ¡°I think it would be best if you came and picked Noah up so that he can rest his body. He might need to stay at home for a few days until he recoverspletely.¡± I nced at my schedule sitting in front of me. ¡°Okay,¡± I agreed. ¡°I¡¯ll get him picked up in half an hour.¡± She was still talking when I cut the line, but I was in a rush and needed to get to his babysitter as quickly as possible. I knew ine wouldn¡¯t show up on such short notice, so I skipped her altogether and dialed Emily¡¯s number. ¡°Emily?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°It¡¯s Jake,¡± I said, rushing through my words. ¡°Noah¡¯s sick, and he needs to be picked up from school. I can¡¯t go because I have meetings all day, so could you please¡± She cut me off before I could finish. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Jake,¡± she said quickly. ¡°I have sses all morning.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°I¡¯m in college,¡± she said. ¡°And, I have lectures I need to be at. I can pick him up in two hours if you want?¡± ¡°Fuck,¡± I said, under my breath. ¡°He needs to be picked up now.¡± She hesitated a moment. ¡°Sorry, I don¡¯t think I can help you today.¡± Sighing, I looked at my schedule and then at my watch. There was no way I could pick Noah up and still make it back here in time for the meeting. But I knew I had to try. ¡°Fine,¡± I said, hanging up. So much for being flexible¡­ I needed to find someone reliable and soon. I grabbed my coat and rushed outside. Kristen looked up with a start as I zoomed past her. ¡°What¡± ¡°Kristen, see if you can push my meeting. I need to pick Noah up from school¡± I didn¡¯t even stay to make sure she understood my instructions. I just got into my car and drove. Nine minutester, I parked in front of the school and rushed inside. Noah was sitting outside his ssroom with the teacher I assumed was Ms. Lowry. When Noah saw me, his face widened into a tired smile, and I was instantly d I hade myself. ¡°Daddy,¡± he cried, as he walked to me. ¡°Hey, buddy,¡± I said. ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°I threw up,¡± he said. ¡°I hate throwing up.¡± ¡°I know, buddy,¡± I said, shocked that I had forgotten that. ¡°How are you feeling now?¡± ¡°Little better,¡± he said as he sunk into my arms. I returned the hug and then pulled back a little so that I could examine his face. His bright eyes were dim, and his color looked a little off. Other than that, he seemed fine, just a harmless infection that would no doubt pass. I picked him and immediately, he rested his head on my shoulder. I felt a wave of love wash over me, and I kissed the top of Noah¡¯s head, d that I hadn¡¯t sent anyone else in my ce. ¡°I¡¯ll take him home now,¡± I said to his teacher. Ms. Lowry turned her dark eyes onto Noah. ¡°We¡¯ll miss you, Noah,¡± she said. ¡°But rest up, and we¡¯ll see you again in a few days, okay?¡± ¡°Okay, Ms. Lowry,¡± Noah nodded, without raising his head from my shoulder. ¡°Buh-bye.¡± I carried Noah back to my car and strapped him into his seat in the back. Then we started the drive home. I was aware that my meeting would start in ten minutes and I was also aware of the fact that I would never make it in time. The moment we got home, I got Noah into his favorite pajamas and bed. ¡°Hey, buddy, do you feel up to eating anything?¡± Noah shook his head vigorously. ¡°I¡¯ll throw up again¡­ I hate throwing up.¡± ¡°I know, buddy,¡± I said, rubbing his head slowly. ¡°You don¡¯t have to eat anything now if you don¡¯t want to. But some soup might help.¡± ¡°No.¡± I nodded. ¡°Okay then¡­ Listen, buddy, Daddy has some important meetings today¡± ¡°I want you to stay,¡± Noah protested adamantly before I could even finish my sentence. I felt tense. ¡°Buddy, I¡¯ll be back as soon as I possibly can, okay?¡± I assured him. ¡°It¡¯s just for a little bit. I¡¯lle home in the evening early evening, and I¡¯ll spend the rest of the night with you. How¡¯s that?¡± ¡°Who will stay with me?¡± Noah asked, with a frown. ¡°I¡¯ll call one of your babysitters¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want them,¡± he said instantly. I raised my eyebrows. ¡°Buddy¡± ¡°I want Krissy,¡± he said, without missing a beat. I paused for a moment. ¡°You want Krissy?¡± ¡°Uh-huh.¡± ¡°I thought you liked Emily?¡± I asked curiously. ¡°She¡¯s not like Krissy,¡± he told me. ¡°I love Krissie.¡± ¡°Love, huh?¡± I said, unable to suppress my smile. ¡°That¡¯s a strong word.¡± ¡°I know.¡± My smile grew wider. ¡°Okay, why don¡¯t you try and get some rest? I¡¯ll call Krissy.¡± I left Noah lying in his bed with a smile on his face. I walked into the living room and dialed Kristen¡¯s number. Her first question was for Noah. ¡°How is he?¡± ¡°He¡¯s okay,¡± I said. ¡°Just a stomach bug. He¡¯ll be fine.¡± ¡°Soup might help when he¡¯s up to eating something.¡± I sighed. ¡°Kristen, I have a huge favor to ask.¡± ¡°Of course,¡± she said willingly. ¡°Ask me anything.¡± ¡°I need you toe and watch Noah for me,¡± I said. ¡°I have meetings the whole day, and I can¡¯t miss them all. I would have called Emily or ine, but Noah is refusing to stay with anyone else. He requested you.¡± ¡°Really?¡± Kristen sounded exceptionally pleased. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Of course, I¡¯lle and stay with him.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said, aware that I was taking advantage of the fact that she was my assistant. ¡°I know you have tons of work yourself.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll bring myptop with me so that I can still work from your ce,¡± she said. ¡°Don¡¯t worry; I¡¯ll manage.¡±Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. ¡°You¡¯re something else; you know that?¡± I said, extremely grateful. I couldn¡¯t see her, but I knew instinctively she was smiling. ¡°I¡¯ll see you soon,¡± she said. ¡°Oh, and I pushed back your meeting. It starts in half an hour.¡± I smiled. ¡°Bless you.¡± Fifteen minutester, Kristen was at my door, and I ushered her in with relief. ¡°He¡¯s sleeping now,¡± I told her. ¡°Went out like a light, a sure sign that he is sick. He never sleeps that easy when he¡¯s healthy.¡± She smiled. ¡°I¡¯ll keep you posted if there are any new developments.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± I said. ¡°Also, you should know, he hates throwing up. He usually refuses to eat anything even when he can because the memory¡¯s fresh in his mind.¡± She nodded. ¡°I¡¯ll keep that in mind.¡± I was at the threshold of the front door when I paused and leaned against the doorframe. Kristen looked at me sympathetically, and after a moment she put her hand on the side of my face. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± she asked kindly. I just wanted to turn into her arms and let herfort me like she had done that first night. But I resisted the urge. ¡°I¡¯d forgotten¡­¡± I admitted. ¡°You¡¯d forgotten what?¡± ¡°How hard it is when you¡¯re the one who has to show up for everything,¡± I said. ¡°Thest year I¡¯ve been palming off my responsibilities on babysitters so that I could focus on building thispany.¡± ¡°You¡¯re juggling a lot on your own,¡± Kristen said. ¡°Don¡¯t beat yourself up about that. You were there for him this morning when his teacher called, weren¡¯t you?¡± ¡°I was prepared to send someone else in my ce.¡± ¡°But you didn¡¯t,¡± she pointed out. ¡°You went yourself.¡± ¡°Because I had no choice.¡± ¡°No one ever said being a single parent was easy.¡± I sighed. ¡°You¡¯re kinder than I deserve.¡± Kristen leaned in and kissed me softly on the cheek. I desperately wanted to pull her in for a long and passionate kiss, but this was not the time, and I was alreadyte. ¡°Go,¡± she said as if she could read my mind. ¡°Noah¡¯s in good hands.¡± ¡°I know,¡± I said. It was amazing how quickly and unexpectedly it had happened, but I realized as I made my way down to the car, that of all the people who¡¯de in and out of my life in thest three years, Kristen was the one I trusted the most. Episode 27 Kristen¡¯s [POV] Once I¡¯d finished sorting through the ledgers, I closed myptop and went to check on Noah. He was still sleeping soundly, so I shut the door quietly and went back to the living room. Daphne¡¯s picture was directly facing me, and again, I felt as though her eyes were following me around the room. It was sad to think we¡¯d missed out on a potentially great rtionship, but Daphne hadn¡¯t been ready, and I had been forced to ept that.Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. I remembered the morning we had met for the first time. And just like that, I was back in Michigan. I was sixteen again. I was standing in front of the sister that I¡¯d always wished for. We had agreed to meet in the park by the water fountain. I had spent an hour trying to figure out what to wear. Ultimately, I decided on jeans and a thin blue sweater that was simple and practical. Then I¡¯d showed up by the water fountain, forty minutes early and so nervous I felt as though my stomach was going to drop right out of me. She had shown up five minuteste in jeans that were simr to mine and a gray long-sleeved t-shirt underneath a cool beige jacket. Her hair was the same color as mine, and her eyes were a simr hazel. I felt my heartbeat increase instantly, and I prayed she would like me. I should have realized that her bodynguage suggested hostility, but at the time, I was young and naive. When she approached, I all but ran to her, eager to prove that I wasn¡¯t an awful person.¡±Hi.¡± ¡°Hello,¡± Daphne¡¯s eyes were cold. ¡°I¡¯m Kristen.¡± ¡°I know who you are,¡± she nodded. ¡°Why did you want to meet me?¡± I raised my eyebrows. ¡°I¡­ We¡­ I just thought¡­¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t know you existed,¡± I stuttered. ¡°Until about a year ago.¡± ¡°That¡¯s why you called my mother?¡± she asked. I paused. ¡°I thought she should know.¡± ¡°That Ted was cheating on my mother with yours?¡± I cringed. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°How did you find out?¡± Daphne asked. ¡°He came home after a few months of absences. I found this box under my bed. There were pictures of you inside it.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Um¡­ He had pictures of you¡­¡± ¡°Really?¡± Daphne sounded shocked. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°What did you do next?¡± ¡°I went to my mother and asked her about the pictures,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s when she told me that Ted had another family, which was why she had never been able to marry him.¡± ¡°Your mother admitted to the affair.¡± I felt instantly ashamed. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°She sounds exactly like I¡¯d imagined she¡¯d be,¡± Daphne said bitingly. And despite everything, I found myself defending my mother. ¡°She¡¯s always had issues. She¡¯s just lonely and sad and confused a lot of the time.¡± ¡°So because she¡¯s lonely, I should excuse the fact that she intentionally stole another woman¡¯s husband?¡± ¡°No, of course not¡± ¡°Why did you want to meet me, Kristen?¡± she demanded. ¡°Because¡­ we¡¯re sisters,¡± I saidmely. I thought I saw the coldness in Daphne¡¯s eyes fade for a moment. She turned away from me and looked towards the fountain. ¡°I used to wish I had a sister,¡± she said. I allowed myself to smile, wondering if this was the turning point. But then she looked back at me, and the coldness had returned. ¡°I was a fool to have wished for that. After I found out about you, all I wanted was to be an only child again.¡± She had walked away from me, and I thought I¡¯d never see her again. But then two weekster she called. She apologized for being so rude and asked if we could meet again. The second meeting went much better than the first. By the end of it, we had approached the fragile boundaries of friendship, and I could see her walls begin to lower slightly. The third time we met, I was shocked to find myself face-to-face with Daphne¡¯s mother¡­ again. The first time I¡¯d met her had been at the threshold of her front door. She had stood there in shock while I unleashed the horrible truth then I¡¯d walked away, leaving her to her crumbling reality. I wasn¡¯t quite sure why she had wanted to meet me again, but I realized quickly that Isabelle was a different kind of woman. It was an awkward lunch, but she was gracious, kind, and friendly. She didn¡¯t ask me one question about my mother. But at the end of the lunch, she did ask about Ted. ¡°Have you seen himtely?¡± ¡°It¡¯s been almost ten months since Ist saw him,¡± I admitted. ¡°I think sometimes he calls to speak to Mom, but she¡¯s never confirmed it. He¡¯s still angry with me because I told you about¡­ everything.¡± ¡°That was the main reason I wanted toe today,¡± Isabelle told me. ¡°I wanted to thank you. Your call is what gave me the courage to finally divorce Ted.¡± After that, Daphne and I continued to see one another asionally. It was a strange rtionship, and I knew it only worked because we never discussed my mother. But I could tell that Daphne was struggling a little; there were days when she was moody and sullen and days when she was happy and open. It seemed as though she wanted to be my friend, but she just couldn¡¯t get over the fact that I was the product of her father¡¯s infidelity. I should have known then that my dream of sisterhood was a hollow one. ¡°Krissy?¡± I turned to find Noah standing in the hallway, rubbing his eyes. ¡°Hi, honey,¡± I said, going to him. ¡°Your dad had to run to work, but he left me here to look after you.¡± ¡°He told me he would.¡± I smiled. ¡°How are you feeling?¡± ¡°Sick.¡± I kissed the top of his forehead. ¡°Poor kid,¡± I said. ¡°How about your tummy?¡± ¡°It¡¯s rumbly.¡± ¡°Rumbly, huh?¡± I said. ¡°Well, sounds like you need to eat something.¡± ¡°No,¡± Noah said immediately, just like Jake warned me. ¡°I don¡¯t want to eat anything.¡± ¡°Because you¡¯re not hungry?¡± I asked. ¡°Or because you don¡¯t want to throw up?¡± ¡°Thest one,¡± he admitted. I hugged him close for a moment. ¡°I promise you we¡¯ll be careful, okay?¡± I said. ¡°If we are careful and eat just a little bit, then you won¡¯t throw up. Do you trust me?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± Noah said skeptically. I took his hand and led him to the kitchen. Then I opened up a box of crackers that I¡¯d picked up on the way and handed him one. ¡°Try a bite of that,¡± I said. Noah took the cracker tentatively and had a bite. He chewed carefully and swallowed with a loud gulp. ¡°Well?¡± I asked, after a minute. ¡°Do you think it¡¯ll stay down?¡± ¡°I think so,¡± he nodded hopefully. I smiled. ¡°Great,¡± I said. ¡°Then drink a sip of this.¡± ¡°What is it?¡± he asked. He was eyeing the ss I had handed him. ¡°Homemade lemonade,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯ll help settle your tummy.¡± Noah took a sip, and his face lit up with a smile. ¡°That¡¯s yummy.¡± ¡°I¡¯m d you like it,¡± I said. ¡°Now finish that cracker and the lemonade. If you manage to keep it down, we¡¯ll try eating something else in another hour or so. How does that sound?¡± ¡°Good.¡± ¡°Good,¡± I smiled. ¡°Now, how about I read you a story?¡± We spent a nice cozy afternoon reading stories, and Noah seemed to be getting better by the minute. Every hour, I sent Jake updates to reassure him and then I would get back to entertaining Noah. ¡°I love you, Krissy,¡± Noah said unexpectedly, just after I¡¯d finished reading him another story. I felt a lump form in my throat. ¡°Aw, Noah,¡± I said. ¡°I love you, too, sweetheart.¡± ¡°It¡¯s nice to have a mommy look after me when I¡¯m sick.¡± I froze for a moment, feeling slightly ufortable. ¡°Noah, you know that I¡¯m not your mother, right? I mean, I do love you, sweetheart, but I¡¯m not your mommy.¡± ¡°But you can be,¡± Noah said, giving me a sweet innocent smile. I felt my heart melt at the sight, but I also felt a thrill of fear that made me take pause. What was I doing? Noah wasn¡¯t just any kid¡­ he was my nephew, and I was pretending to have no real connection to him. How could I exin all this to Jake? He would never believe that my intentions were sincere from the start. I knew I had to tell Jake the truth. I had let too much time pass already. My future with Jake and Noah was on shaky ground because of the way I¡¯d started things. I thought back to thest day I¡¯d seen and spoken to Daphne. Her eyes had been hard and passionate and angry. ¡°How dare you think you have any real ce in my life?¡± she demanded. ¡°How dare you feel you can advise me about anything?¡± ¡°I¡¯m your sister.¡± ¡°You¡¯re my father¡¯s bastard,¡± she snapped at me. ¡°That doesn¡¯t make you my sister.¡± I bit back my hurt. ¡°Daphne¡± ¡°I know he¡¯s living with you and your mother, Kristen,¡± she had screamed at me. ¡°He¡¯s back with you and the home wrecker, isn¡¯t he?¡± ¡°You know that¡¯s not my choice,¡± I had pleaded with her. ¡°I didn¡¯t want him toe back, but¡± ¡°Sure, me your mother,¡± Daphne spat. ¡°In the end, you¡¯re just like her. You¡¯re a liar and a home wrecker, too.¡± She had walked away, and I had never seen her again. I looked down at Noah and kissed him gently on the forehead. He was tired, so I was easily able to put him to bed. I watched him as he slept, and I felt defeated and miserable all of a sudden. Had Daphne been right? Was I just a different version of my mother? Was I a liar and a home wrecker, too? I walked out of Noah¡¯s room and headed to the living room. I was staring at Daphne¡¯s picture when Jake called. ¡°How¡¯s everything?¡± he asked. ¡°Everything¡¯s fine,¡± I said distractedly. ¡°He¡¯s sleeping now.¡± ¡°Did he manage to eat anything?¡± ¡°A few crackers and some lemonade.¡± ¡°You managed to convince him?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Wow, you really are something special.¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m not,¡± I said insistently. Jake seemed to sense that something was not quite right. ¡°Are you okay?¡± he asked. ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you¡¯ve caught whatever Noah has.¡± ¡°No,¡± I replied. ¡°I¡¯m just¡­ tired, that¡¯s all.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, that¡¯s my fault,¡± he said apologetically. ¡°I¡¯m overworking you.¡± ¡°No, that¡¯s not it.¡± ¡°You handling everything in the office and babysitting my kid to boot¡­¡± ¡°It¡¯s the least I can do,¡± I blurted out. Jake paused for a moment. ¡°What do you mean, ¡®it¡¯s the least you can do?''¡± ¡°I¡­ Nothing,¡± I said, chickening out yet again. I knew he was too busy to press the issue. ¡°I¡¯m going to be another hour or two.¡± ¡°That¡¯s fine,¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯re sure?¡± ¡°Positive.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a Godsend, Kristen,¡± Jake said fervently. I bit my lip as tears jumped to my eyes. I wondered if he would still think that once he knew the truth. I prayed that he would, but a little voice inside my head told me that, just like with Daphne, I was being naive again. Episode 28 Jake¡¯s [POV] The Caveman Bar was a quiet little pub nestled in one corner of the city. It was sort of a hidden gem, and I loved going there because it was rarely crowded. The atmosphere was calm and rxed, the booze was good, and the music was low enough that you could hold a conversation. I went ahead and ordered two beers for myself and Luis. He showed up ten minuteste, wearing a dark t-shirt and jeans. The light reflected off his bald head, making it gleam. He sat down next to me and grabbed the beer that had just arrived. ¡°Cheers,¡± he said after he had chugged down nearly half the ss. ¡°I think you need to do that first,¡± I said, smirking at him. Luis smiled. ¡°How¡¯ve you been?¡± ¡°Good.¡± ¡°Yeah, I was just about to say, you look good,¡± he said, observing me with a keen eye. ¡°There¡¯s something different about you.¡± ¡°Is there?¡± I asked, trying to look innocent. ¡°How¡¯s work?¡± ¡°Work¡¯s been hectictely,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve been running around trying to stay on top of things, but I¡¯m thinking of speaking to the board soon.¡± ¡°What about?¡± ¡°About my workload and the reality of running thispany single-handed,¡± I said. ¡°I need some backup, or I¡¯m not going to be able to hold up for much longer. It would be fine if I didn¡¯t have anyone at home waiting for me, but I have a son, and as it stands, I don¡¯t see him as often as I should.¡± Luis was looking at me with a strange expression like he couldn¡¯t quite believe his eyes. ¡°What?¡± I asked. ¡°Nothing,¡± he said, reaching for his beer again. ¡°I guess I just can¡¯t believe it.¡± ¡°Believe what?¡± ¡°That you went from a major in the military to the CEO of apany in a matter of years,¡± he said. ¡°It¡¯s impressive.¡± I smiled. ¡°Sometimes I can¡¯t quite believe it myself.¡± ¡°I wish my transition to civilian life could be as smooth and as meteoric, to be honest,¡± Luis said. ¡°I know I¡¯m lucky,¡± I nodded. ¡°I know that not everyone gets the opportunities I¡¯ve been given. But still¡­ I miss it.¡± ¡°You miss being in the field?¡± ¡°I miss everything,¡± I said honestly. ¡°I miss the thrill of being in a foreignnd. I miss my uniform and my bunk. I miss the feel of that rifle in my hands. Most of all, I miss that feeling you get when you¡¯re in the lion¡¯s den with your brothers. The camaraderie that¡¯s what was always most important to me.¡± ¡°I understand,¡± Luis nodded immediately. ¡°I have that, too. I¡¯ve been here a few weeks, and I¡¯m already thinking about my next deployment.¡± ¡°There are still days I wake up, and I forget I¡¯m home,¡± I admitted. ¡°For a couple of seconds, it feels like I¡¯m back in Afghanistan.¡± ¡°It¡¯s about more than just the brotherhood for you, though, isn¡¯t it?¡± Luis observed. ¡°It¡¯s about a time in your life when things were simpler.¡±Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. I smiled. ¡°When you decide you¡¯re done with the military, you can always get into therapy. You might be good at it.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll take that as a highpliment.¡± I smiled. ¡°It was meant as such,¡± I nodded. ¡°How are things with you?¡± ¡°Nothing much, man,¡± Luis replied. ¡°I¡¯ve been working out a lot, trying to get ready for my next deployment. Mom¡¯s not too happy about it.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°My term¡¯sing to a close, and she was hoping that I¡¯d want to retire after it was done.¡± ¡°Which you don¡¯t want to do,¡± I guessed. ¡°I want to re-enlist,¡± he nodded. ¡°I think that¡¯s a hard pill for her to swallow.¡± ¡°She¡¯s just worried about you.¡± ¡°She¡¯s worried about more than that.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°She wants me to get married, settle down, and start a family of my own,¡± Luis said. ¡°And since I refuse to do that while I¡¯m still in the military, she just assumed I¡¯d give up sooner rather thanter.¡± ¡°This life¡­ sometimes it¡¯s harder on the families,¡± I said. ¡°How did your family take your enlistment?¡± ¡°It was a mixed bag for me, to be honest,¡± I said. ¡°I came from a family of soldiers. Every generation has had someone who¡¯s enlisted. My father was a soldier, and so was my grandfather, and I¡¯d been dreaming of enlisting since I was a boy. I had an older cousin¡­ His name was Henry.¡± ¡°I remember,¡± Luis nodded. ¡°He died on duty.¡± ¡°He did,¡± I nodded. ¡°He was a few years older than I was and enlisted when he was eighteen, too. It was my dream to serve and to serve with him¡­ Well, that was just icing on the cake as far as I was concerned. But before my dream could be a reality, he was killed inbat.¡± ¡°Fuck,¡± Luis sighed. ¡°I went to his funeral, and three monthster, I enlisted myself.¡± Luis raised his eyebrows. ¡°So, your parents weren¡¯t happy?¡± ¡°My father was proud, but my mother had a harder time with it especially given what happened to Henry. She wasn¡¯t the only one. My aunt tried to convince me not to enlist, either. But it was useless; I was even more determined than ever. I don¡¯t regret anything. I met Daphne, and we had Noah, so in the end, something great came out of it.¡± Luis smiled at me. ¡°I like this new positive Jake he¡¯s much easier to talk to.¡± ¡°Yeah, he¡¯s much less prone to punch his friends in the face.¡± ¡°Well, some of his friends may deserve a punch now and again.¡± Iughed. ¡°No, you were right to say what you did to me. I was so consumed with my pain that I turned myself into the victim and forget that I have a child to take care of and a life to get on with. But I¡¯ve finally opened my eyes now.¡± ¡°As happy as I am to hear you say that, part of me thinks that this change of heart had little to do with me.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t sell yourself short,¡± I said evasively. ¡°How¡¯s Noah?¡± ¡°He fell sick a few days ago,¡± I said. ¡°I had to leave work to go and pick him up.¡± ¡°Nothing serious, right?¡± ¡°Nah,¡± I said. ¡°He recovered a dayter.¡± ¡°Do you have a picture on you?¡± he asked. ¡°I haven¡¯t seen the little tyke in ages.¡± I got out my phone and scrolled through my picture library. There were a few recent pictures that I¡¯d taken of him only yesterday. ¡°Wow,¡± Luis said, as he scrolled through the pictures. ¡°The kid¡¯s gorgeous.¡± ¡°Right?¡± I said proudly. ¡°He looks just like you.¡± ¡°Well, you did say he was gorgeous,¡± I said jokingly. Luis gave me a light punch on the arm. ¡°He¡¯s cooking?¡± ¡°He wanted to make waffles yesterday.¡± ¡°Who¡¯s that in the background?¡± Luis asked. I nced at the picture and realized Kristen was in the background. Her back was to the camera, but part of her face could be seen. She had a slight smile on her face and her auburn hair cascaded down to her back. ¡°Uh, that¡¯s Kristen.¡± ¡°The name sounds familiar,¡± Luis said, wrinkling his brows together. ¡°Um¡­she¡¯s my secretary.¡± ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± he nodded, and then he frowned again. ¡°What¡¯s she doing in your kitchen making waffles with your son?¡± ¡°Well¡­she babysits Noah for me when I¡¯m stuck and have no other choice,¡± I admitted. ¡°Really?¡± ¡°They get along swimmingly,¡± I said. ¡°They¡¯re the best of friends. I think he may prefer Kristen to me.¡± Luis raised his eyebrows. ¡°Is there something else you¡¯re not telling me?¡±I should have known better than to sneak anything past Luis. He was too damn intuitive for his good. ¡°Well¡­ I¡¯m sort of¡­kind of¡­seeing her.¡± ¡°As in, you¡¯re dating your secretary?¡± I smiled guiltily. ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°Fuck, dude,¡± Luis said immediately. ¡°I knew it. I knew something was different about you. Your new attitude is because of her, isn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°Uh¡­maybe that¡¯s been a contributing factor.¡± ¡°Fuck off,¡± he said, punching me in the arm again. ¡°This has everything to do with her. When did this start?¡± ¡°A few weeks ago,¡± I admitted. ¡°She was babysitting Noah, and I was having a small meltdown. She showed up andforted me.¡± ¡°You slept with her, didn¡¯t you?¡± he asked, sounding delighted. ¡°Just the one time,¡± I said. ¡°I made it clear to her that I wanted to take things slow.¡± ¡°And how¡¯s that been working for you?¡± he asked with amusement. ¡°Pretty well, so far,¡± I said, without enthusiasm. ¡°You¡¯re hard up, aren¡¯t you?¡± heughed. I frowned at him. ¡°It¡¯s fucking ufortable, dude. It¡¯s like she¡¯s awakened all these¡­different feelings. Now I think about sex a few times each day.¡± ¡°Wow, looks like you¡¯re finally starting to move on.¡± I nodded. ¡°Yup, it only took three fucking years,¡± I said. ¡°To be honest, I¡¯m not quite there yet. But I¡¯m ready to attempt to move on.¡± ¡°Good for you, man,¡± Luis nodded approvingly. ¡°Do you have a clearer picture of her?¡± I scrolled through my photo library and found a picture of Kristen ying with blocks with Noah on the floor. I saw Luis¡¯ eyes grow wide. ¡°What?¡± I asked, ncing down at the picture myself. Luis looked up at me slowly. ¡°I don¡¯t know if you¡¯ve noticed, but¡­she looks a lot like¡± ¡°Daphne,¡± I finished for him. ¡°Yeah, I know.¡± ¡°Oh good, I wasn¡¯t sure if you were aware of that.¡± ¡°Honestly, I wasn¡¯t at first. I mean there was something about her that bugged me a little, but I could never quite put my finger on it. Then it hit me the first day that she babysat Noah. She was lying next to this picture of Daphne, and when I saw their faces side by side, it hit me.¡± ¡°And how did you take it?¡± ¡°Not well,¡± I said. ¡°Not well at all.¡± ¡°Is this just a fling?¡± Luis wanted to know. ¡°Or are you serious about this girl?¡± ¡°At the moment, I¡¯m just taking things slow and seeing where it goes,¡± I said. ¡°But things are a littleplicated because of Noah.¡± ¡°I was going to say,¡± he nodded. ¡°The kid looks like he¡¯s in love himself.¡± ¡°That¡¯s pretty urate,¡± I admitted. ¡°He loves Kristen.¡± ¡°Then you need to be careful,¡± Luis said immediately. ¡°If he starts thinking of her as his mother¡± ¡°I know,¡± I sighed. ¡°I¡¯ve been worrying about thattely.¡± ¡°What about you?¡± ¡°What about me?¡± ¡°Are you interested in Kristen for Kristen?¡± Luis asked. ¡°Or do you see her as a recement for Daphne?¡± The question had me shaking in my shoes for a moment. What was the honest answer? I had no idea, which was exactly why I wanted to take things slow with Kristen. I needed to figure out how I felt about her, once I¡¯d removed her from my mixed feelings about my dead wife. ¡°I need time to figure that one out,¡± I said honestly. ¡°This is all unchartered territory for me.¡± Luis nodded, but he looked concerned suddenly. ¡°What is it?¡± I asked. ¡°Nothing,¡± he said. ¡°Come on,¡± I pressed. ¡°I value your opinion and would appreciate the advice. I promise I won¡¯t try to punch you again.¡± He gave me a small smile. ¡°I¡¯m d you¡¯re ready to move on with your life. I think it¡¯s a step in the right direction. All I would say is¡­be careful. Make sure that this girl is not just a quick recement for the love of your life. Make sure you see her as a woman in her own right.¡± I nodded, thinking about that moment the night after Kristen had slept over. I had called her Daphne. Was that just an innocent mistake, or was I trying to recreate the life I¡¯d nned on having? I knew only one thing for certain: I¡¯d have to see this through to find out. Episode 29 Kristen¡¯s [POV] ¡°I think he¡¯s out for the count,¡± I said, pushing back a few stray hairs that had fallen onto Noah¡¯s forehead. He was sprawled out on the living room sofa, his legs flung about in strange directions, and yet, he looked so peaceful and happy. His chest rose and fell in little spurts, and there was a faint smile on his mouth. The living room carpet was a mess of crayons, coloring books, blocks, and toys, and Jake had to tread carefully to get to us. ¡°It¡¯s about time,¡± he sighed. I smiled. ¡°I know. I was getting tired.¡± ¡°Getting tired?¡± he asked. ¡°I passed tired ab out two hours ago.¡± ¡°Reckon we should get him into his bed?¡± Jake nodded and picked Noah up gently so that he was jostled as little as possible. I stayed behind and started to clean up the untidy living room. Luckily, Jake had bought Noahrge boxes in which all his things were organized. The toys and all the art supplies had their special boxes. I had just finished stuffing the toys into their box when Jake emerged. ¡°You don¡¯t have to do that, Kristen,¡± he said, as he walked over to me. ¡°I¡¯ll do it tomorrow.¡± ¡°It¡¯ll only take a few minutes,¡± I reasoned. ¡°I don¡¯t mind.¡± Jake sunk to his knees beside me and started to help me. I smiled. ¡°You can rx.¡± ¡°It would be extremely unchivalrous of me to sit by and leave the fair maiden to work,¡± Jake said, using the terms from the storybook I¡¯d read to Noah fifteen minutes ago. I smiled. ¡°This fair maiden doesn¡¯t mind.¡± ¡°My conscience does, though,¡± he said. It was so nice to sit there in his living room, tidying up together after a long day of entertaining Noah. The silence was a wee respite, and I could feel a little tingle of excitement at the prospect of having a few moments alone with Jake. We had taken things slowly, just like Jake had wanted. It had been weeks since that first night when we had first had sex. After that, we had gone out a couple of times for dinner, and we¡¯d spent hours talking and getting to know one another. And yet, I still hadn¡¯t found the courage to admit to Jake the truth about who I was. Every time I attempted to bring up the topic, my nerves got the better of me, and I backed out. I knew my excuses were growing thin, but the longer I waited to tell him, the more fearful I became. It didn¡¯t help that in thest few weeks I had fallenpletely in love with Noah. He was a wonderful kid, and I had grown unreasonably attached to him. While I was thrilled that he seemed to have taken to me just as fast, I was terrified that this would work against me once I told Jake the truth. He would see my connection with Noah as something different. He would assume I had forced a bond with his son to be maniptive. He was less likely to believe it was sincere, and I wouldn¡¯t be able to me him. Even as we sat there, I found excuses to put off the moment. Jake was tired, we¡¯d had a long day, and it wasn¡¯t the right time for serious conversations or big revtions. For right now, I just wanted to sit here with Jake and enjoy hispany without any distractions. ¡°Thank you so much for cooking dinner for us,¡± Jake said, interrupting my thoughts. ¡°Don¡¯t be silly,¡± I said. ¡°I enjoyed it. Plus both of you helped.¡± Heughed. ¡°You¡¯re being generous, but I appreciate it all the same.¡± I pushed thest box into the corner of the living room so that it wouldn¡¯t be in anyone¡¯s way. ¡°There,¡± I said triumphantly. ¡°All done and no messy cleanup for tomorrow.¡± ¡°Lucky me.¡± I smiled. ¡°It was nice spending today with you and Noah.¡± ¡°It was for me, too,¡± he nodded. ¡°But maybe next time we could do something alone¡­just the two of us?¡± I smiled. ¡°I¡¯d love to.¡± ¡°How about a golf tournament?¡± I wrinkled my nose with distaste. ¡°Uh¡­that sounds¡­¡± ¡°Awesome?¡± Jake offered. ¡°Awful is the adjective I was looking for,¡± I smiled. Heughed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said. ¡°Don¡¯t be,¡± he said, as he continued tough. ¡°Honestly, I like that you¡¯re blunt with your opinions, and I like that you¡¯re not putting on a show for me. That reminds me of¡­¡± He trailed off, and I saw the smile falter on his face. I reached out immediately and took his hand. When his perfect blue eyes met mine, I gave him a reassuring smile. ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I said gently. ¡°You can say it. I remind you of your wife, don¡¯t I?¡± Jake nodded. ¡°You do¡­¡± ¡°I don¡¯t mind theparison,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m sure you mean it as apliment.¡± ¡°I do,¡± he nodded. ¡°But it¡¯s more than just that.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡±Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°Your simrity to her isn¡¯t just about character,¡± he told me. ¡°You resemble her a lot, too.¡± I felt my stomach tighten as I realized this was my opportunity. This was the perfect time to tell him. And yet, even as the words slipped onto my tongue I knew I couldn¡¯t bring myself to say them. ¡°I see it, too,¡± I said, ncing over at her picture on the wall behind us. ¡°Would it be too egotistical now to admit that I think she¡¯s beautiful?¡± Jake smiled. ¡°No, that would just be truthful,¡± he said. ¡°Daphne was a beautiful woman. And you are, too.¡± Jake looked down at our entwined fingers. He pulled my hand up and kissed it gently. ¡°I was scared to get close to you,¡± he admitted in a voice steeped in vulnerability. I felt myself leaning into him, craving his body. ¡°Because of Daphne?¡± ¡°Yes and no,¡± Jake said. ¡°It¡¯splicated.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t mind; exin it to me,¡± I encouraged. ¡°I felt guilty,¡± he admitted finally. ¡°For wanting you, for being attracted to you. And for a second there, I was scared that the only reason I was attracted to you at all was because of your resemnce to Daphne.¡± I felt my heart constrict for a moment, hoping against hope that he saw something in me that had nothing to do with Daphne, at all. ¡°But over thest couple of weeks, I¡¯ve realized something,¡± Jake said. ¡°You¡¯re not Daphne-no matter how much you may resemble her, you¡¯re not her. And, I¡¯m d. Because I also realized that I¡¯m still attracted to you. I still want to be with you.¡± I felt a sigh of relief escape me, and I smiled instantly. ¡°Thank you for saying that.¡± ¡°I hope that doesn¡¯t scare you.¡± ¡°Are you kidding?¡± I said. ¡°You have no idea how happy that makes me. I had a rough childhood. My family was¡­ Well, they weren¡¯t a family, at all. My mother was nothing more than a mistress, and I was the result of their decades-long affair. But thesest few weeks, spending time with you and Noah has made me feel like I was part of a family and you have no idea how much that means to me.¡± Jake listened attentively, and then he leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. ¡°It means something to me, too,¡± he said. Then suddenly, before I could catch my breath, he grabbed me by the hips and pulled me onto hisp so that I was straddling him tightly. His hands were on my hips, and my ass, and I could feel how hard his cock was through his pants. I responded immediately, and a burst of desire rushed through me. It was so strong that I moistened instantly and I felt my body pull in closer to Jake. ¡°I thought you wanted to take things slow?¡± I asked. ¡°We¡¯ve taken things slow enough,¡± he said, slipping his hands up my skirt. ¡°I want you, and I want you now.¡± ¡°Right here?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I wanted him, too; my body ached for his. But still, I looked back over my shoulder cautiously. ¡°What about Noah?¡± ¡°He¡¯s sleeping.¡± ¡°He could wake up.¡± ¡°Then we¡¯ll just have to be careful,¡± Jake said as he pushed down my panties. I let out a little gasp as his finger slipped inside me. He fingered me slowly at first, getting me all hot and bothered, and then he slipped another finger inside me and pushed harder until I was falling back, t across his carpet. He settled himself on top of me and pushed open my blouse. Skillfully, he removed my bra and started teasing my nipples until I was writhing beneath him, trying to keep myself from screaming. ¡°I want to feel your cock inside me,¡± I gasped atst, unable to handle his teasing for much longer. Smiling with satisfaction, Jake pushed inside me, and I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning loudly. He fucked me hard against his soft, carpeted floors. And all I could do was grip the furniture around me and try to control my screams. Every time I managed to master some semnce of control, Jake would change positions, and I would find myself fighting to gain control again as a new bout of desire threatened to defeat me. He fucked me from the back and the side. He had me in seven different ways. His hands were experts. They raged around my body, exploring every inch of me. The first orgasm was intoxicating, the second one was unexpected, and the third one had me stuffing my hand in my mouth to block out the screams. In the end, I didn¡¯t seed. I let out a bursting cry as I came for thest time, and even Jake moaned in defeat as he finally came, too. It had been an arduous half an hour of lovemaking, and we were both shaking and sweating and gasping for breath. I had never experienced anything quite as powerful before, and I couldn¡¯t believe that sex was like that for everyone. ¡°Can I ask you a question?¡± I asked as I leaned against his chest. ¡°Sure.¡± ¡°Is sex always that insanely satisfying?¡± He smiled. ¡°You were insanely satisfied?¡± I blushed a little and hid my face in his chest. ¡°Maybe.¡± He let out a lowugh. ¡°No,¡± he admitted. ¡°It¡¯s not always like that. It¡¯s quite rare for it to be like that. I¡¯ve never experienced anything quite as strong myself.¡± I felt a bubble of happiness and pride at his words. Was he indirectly telling me that I was the best sex he¡¯d ever had? Did this mean that our connection transcended the connection he had shared with Daphne? I hoped it meant that we had a shot at a rtionship that was just as strong. ¡°Neither have I,¡± I said teasingly. Jakeughed. ¡°Considering I¡¯m the only man you¡¯ve ever been with, I don¡¯t quite know how to take that.¡± ¡°Take it as apliment,¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯ve ruined me for other men.¡± Jake smiled. ¡°It can¡¯t have been that good then,¡± he said softly. ¡°If you¡¯re thinking of other men.¡± I pushed myself up on my elbow and looked down at him. ¡°I¡¯m not thinking of other men,¡± I assured him. ¡°I only ever think of you.¡± He smiled. ¡°I have a confession to make,¡± he said softly. ¡°Tell me.¡± ¡°I think I¡¯m falling for you, Kristen,¡± he said. I felt ecstasy and fear in the same breath. And instead of confronting either emotion, I leaned down and kissed Jake until I managed to chase the guilt from my mind. Episode 30 Jake¡¯s [POV] As I walked into my office, I noticed that Kristen wasn¡¯t at her desk. I felt a little note of disappointment and realized how much I¡¯d been looking forward to seeing her all morning. I hadn¡¯t been able toe to work first thing because I had meetings across town. In thest few weeks, Kristen and I had been spending a huge amount of time together. We had frowned exceptionally close, and I was feeling all the familiar tingles of love beginning to blossom within me. And there was something else, too¡­something that felt a lot like relief. Was it possible that Kristen was the one who could mend my broken heart and change me for the better? I was starting to think that it was possible. I refrained from calling to check where she was and headed into my office. I sat down at my desk and poured myself a ss of water. We had spoken a lot over thest couple of weeks, but I had noticed something in that time. Kristen was extremely tight-lipped about her childhood and her parents. I knew she had a rough rtionship with both her mother and her father, and I knew general information, but she had been careful to avoid details. It had made me curious and some intrinsic part of myself told me that she was holding back because perhaps she didn¡¯t feel as strongly about me as I felt about her. I realized that I wanted to know more about her, not just out of curiosity, but also as an attempt to deepen the connection between us. I was ruminating on how far I hade in such a short time when I heard a knock on my door. ¡°Come in,¡± I called. A momentter, Kristen walked in. She was wearing a red blouse and a ck pencil skirt that made her look like she should have been on the cover of some magazine. Her hair was tied into a loose knot at the back of her head, and her makeup, as usual, was understated and ssy. She was holding two takeout cartons from a restaurant downtown that I loved. She smiled at me as she walked in and sat down opposite me. ¡°Surprise,¡± she said, setting the takeout cartons on the table. ¡°Lunch.¡± ¡°That restaurant is forty minutes away.¡± ¡°Turns out, they deliver,¡± she told me. ¡°The moment I knew, I had just had to order lunch for us.¡± ¡°Delivery must be crazy expensive.¡± Kristen tightened her lips, and I knew it would have been. ¡°How much?¡± I asked. ¡°None of your business,¡± she countered. ¡°Just enjoy the lunch.¡± I smiled. I dipped into the carton and reached for the chopsticks. I took a bite and then closed my eyes in appreciation. ¡°Good surprise?¡± she asked. ¡°Great surprise,¡± I nodded. ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°My pleasure,¡± she said, reaching for her takeout carton. I nced up at her. ¡°So, Kristen¡­¡± ¡°Yeah?¡±Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°Things have been going well between us, don¡¯t you think?¡± She smiled. ¡°Very well,¡± she nodded. ¡°I would even go so far as to say we¡¯ve entered firmly into rtionship status,¡± I said. Kristen¡¯s smile widened. ¡°I would agree.¡± ¡°Maybe it¡¯s time we took our rtionship to the next level,¡± I suggested. Kristen raised her eyebrows. ¡°The next level?¡± she repeated. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Um¡­we¡¯re already sleeping together,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m not talking about sex.¡± ¡°Then what are you talking about?¡± I paused for a moment, wondering how to bring up the topic. ¡°Well¡­ I suppose I¡¯ve noticed that whenever we discuss our pasts and our family history, I¡¯m the one doing most of the talking.¡± She raised her eyebrows. ¡°I¡¯ve told you about my past,¡± she said, but I was almost certain that she tensed a little. ¡°Not in detail,¡± I said. ¡°I know that your father was married to someone else and had an affair with your mother, which led to your birth but I don¡¯t know much else.¡± ¡°What do you want to know?¡± I was sure it wasn¡¯t my imagination this time. She was reluctant to talk about her parents. I understood that she must be embarrassed and self-conscious about it, but I also wanted her to know that I wasn¡¯t the kind of guy who would judge her based on her parent¡¯s poor life decisions. ¡°Well, for starters, do you still talk to your father?¡± I asked. ¡°Or is it more serious than that?¡± ¡°Thest time I spoke to him was about seven months ago,¡± Kristen admitted. ¡°Just before I moved here. I didn¡¯t have a choice a lot of the time. He lives with my mother, and when I go to see her, I inevitably see him.¡± ¡°So, you don¡¯t want to have anything to do with him?¡± I asked. I sighed. ¡°It¡¯splicated,¡± she said. ¡°The fact is, despite everything, it appears my mother genuinely loves him. I suppose that¡¯s why I swallow my anger and talk to him each time because it hurts her when I don¡¯t. My mother and I don¡¯t have the best rtionship, but I still love her. I can use that word about her, but with my father¡­that word never made sense.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t like talking about them, do you?¡± I asked. ¡°Not really,¡± Kristen said. ¡°Have you spoken to your mother recently?¡± ¡°Um¡­ I have,¡± she nodded slowly. ¡°It didn¡¯t go very well.¡± ¡°Why not?¡± ¡°Because Mom has always felt like she had some sort of divine right to interfere in my life,¡± Kristen exined. ¡°She likes to control me maybe because she could never really control her own life. I suppose it just got to be too much for me.¡± ¡°Was that why you left Michigan?¡± ¡°Part of the reason,¡± she nodded. I wanted to ask what the other part of her reason was, but I sensed that she was already extremely ufortable, and I didn¡¯t want to make her feel bad. I did want her to open up to me, but I wanted her to want to share. It didn¡¯t count if I forced her into it. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Kristen said suddenly. ¡°It¡¯s just that¡­ I guess I¡¯m sensitive about my upbringing; it wasn¡¯t exactly normal.¡± I smiled. ¡°We all think that about our families,¡± I said. ¡°But if you don¡¯t want to talk about it, then I won¡¯t push you. But I just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± she nodded. She was silent for a long time, and when she looked up, she seemed more willing to talk. ¡°I was nine when I realized my parents weren¡¯t married. I asked Mom why there were no wedding pictures of her and Dad, and she told me it was because they had decided not to get married. It wasn¡¯t until yearster that I found out about his other family his real family.¡± ¡°Real?¡± I repeated, sensing the hostility in that word. ¡°He was already married, and he had a child,¡± Kristen said. ¡°I mean, another child.¡± ¡°Wow,¡± I breathed. ¡°You have a sibling?¡± ¡°A half-sister,¡± Kristen nodded. She seemed somehow different. As though her body had tensed suddenly. ¡°Is she older?¡± I asked. ¡°By a few years,¡± she replied without any emotion. ¡°I didn¡¯t know that.¡± Kristen looked down, and I could see the emotion build up inside her. ¡°We don¡¯t have contact,¡± she said tly, as though she would have rather spoken about anything else in the world. There was something in her eyes that told me that she cared about this half-sister, though. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Kristen,¡± I said, reaching out and taking her hand. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to upset you.¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t upset me,¡± she said quickly. ¡°It¡¯s just that talkin g about my family has always been a little difficult for me. It¡¯s embarrassing.¡± ¡°Why should it be?¡± I asked. ¡°Their decisions have nothing to do with you.¡± ¡°It¡¯s reflective of where I came from,¡± she tried to exin. ¡°They are a part of me, no matter how fast I try to run from that. My mother¡­she¡¯s thest person in the world I want to be like, and yet, my greatest fear is that I¡¯m exactly like her.¡± ¡°Is that the source of your strained rtionship with her?¡± ¡°Strained,¡± Kristen repeated, as though she were amused with the word. ¡°That¡¯s putting it lightly. It¡¯s only a small part of the source. The more relevant part has to do with the fact that I outed her years ago.¡± I frowned. ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°I had known about my father¡¯s other family for a while,¡± Kristen exined. ¡°I was a teenager, and I was angry and confused and just¡­disappointed in everything and everyone. Finally, I concluded that my father¡¯s wife should be made aware of the situation.¡± ¡°Wait,¡± I said, raising my eyebrows. ¡°You exposed your parents¡¯ affair.¡± ¡°Pretty much,¡± she sighed. ¡°I tracked down my father¡¯s wife, which was surprisingly easy to do, then I drove two hours to the address I¡¯d found, and¡­ I told her.¡± I raised my eyebrows. ¡°What did she say?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t wait for her to say anything,¡± I said. ¡°I told her what I needed to tell her, and then I got back into my car and drove back home. The truth was, I couldn¡¯t even meet her eye. My mother was the home wrecker and I was the embodiment of her character.¡± ¡°Kristen,¡± I said gently. ¡°That¡¯s harsh you are not the embodiment of anything but your actions and choices. You can¡¯t be held ountable for what your parents did. If that were the case, we¡¯d all be paying for the sins of those who came before us.¡± Kristen closed her eyes for a moment. ¡°Her whole life was a lie,¡± she said. ¡°It just felt like my life was a lie, as well.¡± ¡°Your life is your own,¡± I assured her. ¡°It¡¯s yours to shape; if you don¡¯t want to be like your mother, then don¡¯t be like her. It¡¯s as simple as that.¡± Kristen smiled sadly for a moment. ¡°That¡¯s easier said than done.¡± ¡°Give yourself more credit,¡± I said, kissing her hand gently. ¡°You¡¯re stronger than you realize.¡± ¡°And, you know that for a fact do you?¡± she asked challengingly. ¡°I do,¡± I smiled confidently. That got a smallugh out of her, and I felt her rx. ¡°See?¡± I said. ¡°Sharing can be cathartic¡­¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know about it being cathartic,¡± she said. ¡°But I did like talking to you about all that. I feel closer to you.¡± ¡°Which is exactly my point,¡± I nodded. ¡°Which is why I want you to meet my aunt soon.¡± ¡°Your aunt?¡± Kristen asked. ¡°She¡¯s the closest thing to family I have left,¡± I said. ¡°And, she¡¯s always been a mother to me. I¡¯d like you to meet her.¡± Kristen smiled. ¡°I¡¯d love to meet her.¡± ¡°Excellent,¡± I nodded. ¡°Is there any chance I might meet your mother one day?¡± Kristen¡¯s face fell visibly. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± she said, atst. ¡°Hey, no pressure, okay?¡± I assured her. ¡°We can take things at the pace you¡¯refortable with.¡± She smiled, but I could see the uncertainty etched across her face. ¡°Thank you,¡± she replied. I wondered if it was just my imagination again, or if her voice shook just a little. Episode Thirty-One Kristen¡¯s [POV] I was standing on the front lines in my military uniform. There was a rifle in my hand, and I felt ready for battle. Smoke and dust filled the air, and I couldn¡¯t see two feet in front of me. I knew that I was surrounded, and I knew that I would have to act fast if I wanted to survive. I was about to charge into the fray when Daphne materialized in front of me. She was wearing a white dress with bloodstains on the front of it. Her hair was wet and stered to her face, and her eyes were sad-but there was a savage wildness about her that I didn¡¯t quite understand. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I asked. ¡°Me?¡± Daphne asked. ¡°This is my world; you are the one who shouldn¡¯t be here.¡± I looked around me, and suddenly, I knew that bombs were about to rain down on both of us. ¡°We have to go,¡± I told her. ¡°Or we¡¯re both going to die.¡± Daphne stood where she was and shook her head at me. ¡°This is what you signed up for,¡± she said. ¡°This is what you asked for when you stole my life.¡±Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. I felt my body grow cold. ¡°I didn¡¯t steal anything,¡± I protested. ¡°That¡¯s my uniform you¡¯re wearing,¡± she said. I looked down at the nametag on the front of my uniform and realized the nametag read Daphne. I started breathing fast as I tried to keep my calm. ¡°Daphne, we have to go¡­¡± ¡°You¡¯re just like your mother,¡± she said with venom. ¡°She took my father away from my mother, and you¡¯re doing the same to me.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not fair,¡± I screamed. ¡°It¡¯s not the same thing.¡± Daphne shook her head at me. ¡°It¡¯s the same. You just don¡¯t want to admit that you¡¯re like her.¡± Then the bombs rained down on us, and I crashed to the ground, knowing that I was drowning, knowing that I was dying. I woke up thrashing around in my bed, gripping my sheets as though I were grappling for life. A thin gleam of sweat glimmered on my skin, and I felt weak and out of breath. I got out of bed and walked to my window to get some fresh air. The nightmare had me feeling dejected and panicked, and I realized that my denial wasn¡¯t going to hold out for much longer. It was six in the morning, and thankfully, I didn¡¯t have to beat work today. I went to the bathroom for a quick shower, hoping that I could shake off the terrible nightmare and the sinking feeling it had left me with. I changed into jeans and a soft sweater and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast. I rummaged around in the fridge, having decided to make myself an omelet, but then I realized I probably wouldn¡¯t be able to hold anything down. I ended up sitting on my couch, staring at the nk screen of my television, wondering what on earth was wrong with me. Just as I was thinking that my phone started vibrating, and I looked down to see that my mother was calling me. ¡°Oh God,¡± I whispered. ¡°Maybe I¡¯m still having the nightmare.¡± I knew I shouldn¡¯t have, but the dream I¡¯d just had was still influencing me, and I feltpelled to answer the call. The moment I picked up, my mother spoke in her blunt and infuriating tone. ¡°Praise the Lord, you picked up.¡± ¡°Should I regret that?¡± ¡°It¡¯s been weeks since west spoke.¡± ¡°You were being difficult,¡± I reminded her. ¡°Excuse me?¡± Mom asked, sounding affronted. ¡°Don¡¯t act innocent,¡± I said usingly. ¡°You were trying to bait me, and you seeded¡­as usual.¡± ¡°As usual, you insist on misunderstanding every single thing I say to you,¡± she said, sounding annoyed. ¡°I wasn¡¯t trying to bait you, at all. I was trying to advise you.¡± ¡°Oh really?¡± I said. ¡°Is that what you were doing?¡± ¡°Seriously, Kristen, think about what you¡¯re doing,¡± Mom continued. ¡°You¡¯re in San Diego; you¡¯re working under your brother-inw who has no clue who you are. Do you think this is going to end well?¡± I was about to defend myself, but then I stopped short. It was only the denial spurring forward my self-righteousness. The truth was I was scared about everything that she was saying. Maybe instead of going on the defensive, it would help me to talk to her about everything. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m scared,¡± I admitted shakily. ¡°What?¡± she asked. I could tell she was shocked by my admission. She had expected anger and indignation, and she wasn¡¯t prepared for self-doubt and insecurity. ¡°I¡¯m scared,¡± I said clearly. ¡°I¡­ I know I screwed up by not telling Jake who I was. I just¡­ Things happened so fast and¡­ I just didn¡¯t say anything, and then I felt like it was toote.¡± ¡°You sound like you care a lot about him,¡± she observed. ¡°Yes,¡± I said, deciding not to lie about that. ¡°I do care about him. I care about Noah, too.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve spent time with his son?¡± Mom sounded shocked. ¡°I babysit for him,¡± I admitted. ¡°Every once in a while.¡± ¡°You are sleeping with him,¡± she said bluntly. ¡°No-¡± ¡°Don¡¯t bother denying it, Kristen,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t even have to see your face to know the truth. I can hear it in your voice. You¡¯re in love with the man.¡± I stuttered and stumbled, and that gave me away. ¡°Fuck,¡± I said, atst. ¡°Do you see now?¡± Mom asked suddenly, as her tone changed. I frowned. ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Do you understand my perspective now, at least?¡± ¡°I still don¡¯t understand.¡± She sighed. ¡°You always judged me for my rtionship with your father. You ridiculed me for the choice I had made. But I never really had a choice because you can¡¯t choose who you love. It happens to you when you least expect it. And sometimes the person you fall in love with is not the ¡®right¡¯ person, he¡¯s not the ¡®conventional¡¯ choice, but¡­he¡¯s the one you love, and there¡¯s nothing you or anyone else can do about it.¡± I was silent for a moment, amazed and astounded by how she had managed to justify her life away. Despite the new burst of anger in my gut, I forced myself to stay calm and talk this out. ¡°You never felt guilty?¡± I asked. ¡°About the fact that you were cheating with another woman¡¯s husband?¡± ¡°She was not a good wife to him, Kristen,¡± Mom said. ¡°So?¡± I demanded. ¡°What is that supposed to mean? She deserved to have been cheated on?¡± ¡°Your father and I were in love,¡± she said. ¡°Our love was worth everything.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Really.¡± I shook my head and gave a crackle of ironicughter. ¡°What?¡± ¡°If your love was worth everything, then why didn¡¯t Dad man up, leave Isabelle, and marry you instead?¡± I demanded. ¡°If he loved you so damn much, then why didn¡¯t he just divorce Isabelle for you?¡± I knew I had stumped her. I knew I had backed her into a corner with my logic, but she was too desperate and too proud to admit to that. ¡°You don¡¯t understand anything¡± ¡°I understand more than you do,¡± I said bitingly. ¡°Ted never really loved you; you were just a distraction from his mundane life. He liked having somece he could go to when his life with Isabelle got boring. He knew you would look after him and cook for him and lend him money when he needed it. He¡¯s been using you for more than two decades now, and he¡¯s going to continue to use you for as long as he can because you refuse to open your eyes and see what¡¯s happening.¡± There was silence on the other line. The breathing I could hear was growing a little erratic, and I knew that I had upset her badly. I didn¡¯t care. She was trying to drawmon ground between us, and I wanted her to know that I was nothing like her. ¡°What do you know about anything?¡± she said after a long silence. ¡°You¡¯re just a selfish brat who¡¯s never had to struggle for anything in her life.¡± ¡°I had to raise myself,¡± I practically yelled at her. ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°You were too busy working to support Ted and doting on him anytime he deigned to give you the time of day¡± ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± Mom interrupted, and she sounded almost hysterical. ¡°Don¡¯t¡­¡± ¡°Have you ever thought about the fact that Isabelle divorced him years ago, and he still hasn¡¯t married you?¡± I demanded. ¡°I¡­ I¡­¡± she could only stutter in response. ¡°Have you asked him why Mom?¡± I demanded. ¡°Have you asked him why he hasn¡¯t married you even after this first wife left him? Have you ever thought about the fact that he¡¯s doing to you the same thing he did to Isabelle?¡± ¡°What¡­ What are you saying?¡± ¡°He probably has other women,¡± I said bluntly. ¡°He¡¯s probably got another mistress holed up somewhere. He probably goes to her whenever he disappears for a few weeks. Hell, he may have another child or two hidden away somewhere. Who the fuck knows?¡± ¡°What did I ever do to you?¡± she asked tearfully. ¡°To make you treat me so badly?¡± I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. ¡°I¡¯m being honest,¡± I said. ¡°If you don¡¯t like the truth, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your life.¡± I heard her scoff in anger. ¡°You think you¡¯re so much better than me, don¡¯t you, Kristen?¡± she asked. ¡°You look down your nose at me. But since you love the truth so much, I have another truth for you. You¡¯re just like me.¡± ¡°I am nothing like you,¡± I hissed. ¡°You¡¯re lying to Jake, aren¡¯t you?¡± she continued as though she hadn¡¯t heard me. ¡°You¡¯ve snuck yourself into his life, you¡¯re spending time with his son, and you¡¯re asking him to trust you¡­ Do you think you have a right to the high ground when you¡¯re cheating Jake out of the truth?¡± She had me stumped. I tried to defend myself, but I realized that I couldn¡¯t. Was this really what my dream had been about? I wondered. ¡°Do you think Daphne will want to see you with her husband?¡± Mom continued. ¡°Do you think she¡¯ll want you raising her child?¡± ¡°I am going to tell him,¡± I said softly as a tear slipped down my cheek. ¡°When? After he¡¯s put a ring on your finger? After you¡¯ve well and truly trapped him?¡± ¡°I would never do that,¡± I said, trying to control my voice. ¡°And everything you¡¯ve done up until now?¡± she demanded. ¡°I bet you never thought you¡¯d go this far, did you? And yet, here you are.¡± ¡°Well, I never really had anyone to look up to, did I?¡± I shot at her. Sheughed. ¡°Of course, me me,¡± she said. ¡°Didn¡¯t you just use me earlier in this phone call of ming Isabelle?¡± I felt the words dry on my tongue as I realized she was right. My dream had been pointing to this very thing. Maybe I wasn¡¯t as different from my mother as I had always thought. Maybe under my veil of self-righteousness, I was just like her. Episode Thirty-Two Jake¡¯s [POV] Kristen stuck her head into my office. ¡°You called me?¡± ¡°Uh, yes,¡± I said. ¡°Just give me a second.¡± I turned to Denver and smiled. ¡°Other than that, everything looks good?¡± ¡°Everything looks excellent,¡± Denver nodded. ¡°You¡¯re doing a good job, Jake.¡± ¡°About that¡­ I wanted to call in a meeting with the board soon,¡± I said, as Kristen walked into the room and shut the door. She hovered in the background, conscious not to make a sound. ¡°A meeting with the board?¡± Denver repeated. ¡°Is it about the Shanghai deal?¡± ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s personal.¡± He frowned. ¡°Personal?¡± It seemed he had a habit of repeating everything I said. ¡°Yes,¡± I nodded, struggling to keep the impatience from my voice. ¡°You¡¯re not resigning, are you?¡± he asked. I was gratified to hear a little note of panic in his voice. ¡°Not exactly,¡± I said, enjoying making him squirm. ¡°Not exactly?¡± he repeated. He was a mousy man with arge mustache that was groomed. He looked more like a cartoon character than a real person. He had been on the board for almost eleven years now and was one of the few board members who attempted to give me personal visits. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was a genuine concern or just random check-ups, but I had stopped caring about that a while ago. ¡°I just want to discuss a few things about my schedule and my workload.¡± ¡°You want more money?¡± he asked immediately. ¡°That¡¯s not what I want to talk about,¡± I said. ¡°Though if the board were to decide I deserved a sry increase, I wouldn¡¯t say no.¡± ¡°How urgent is this personal meeting of yours?¡± he asked, looking a little worried. ¡°How about we try and schedule it for next week?¡± Denver¡¯s eyebrows hit the ceiling. I knew that getting all the members of the board together was a difficult thing to do. Which was why I had asked that the meeting be scheduled within a week. I figured that then it would happen within a month or two at least. ¡°Next week?¡± Denver said, repeating myst few words. ¡°That is impossible.¡± ¡°Make it possible,¡± I said pleasantly. ¡°Joseph is in China till the seventeenth, and Jonathan is in Mexico for another month¡­¡± ¡°Well, inform everyone and see when the closest possible avable date for everyone is, okay?¡± Denver sighed tiredly. ¡°Fine¡­ I¡¯ll let you know.¡± ¡°Excellent,¡± I nodded. ¡°I¡¯ll take my leave then,¡± he said as he stood up. I walked him to the door, and Kristen opened it for him. He gave her an appreciative smile that bordered on creepy and then left. ¡°Do you think they¡¯ll be cooperative?¡± Kristen asked. ¡°We¡¯ll have to wait and see,¡± I said. ¡°You look lovely today.¡± She blushed at my unexpectedpliment. ¡°Thank you. So do you.¡± ¡°I look lovely today?¡± I asked teasingly. ¡°You do,¡± sheughed. ¡°You look exceptionally handsome.¡± I smiled and then took her hand. ¡°Hey, you know what I was thinking?¡± ¡°Do tell?¡± ¡°I was thinking we could head out to the beach for a nice lunch?¡± She raised her eyebrows. ¡°Lunch is only an hour long,¡± she said. ¡°And we have so much work to get done¡­and we¡¯ll never make it back to the office within an hour.¡± I shrugged. ¡°Well, I¡¯m the boss,¡± I reminded her. ¡°And, I¡¯m saying w e can get away with it.¡± I saw her smile grow bright and mischievous. ¡°You sure?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I nodded, leaning in and kissing her on the lips. ¡°I¡¯ll meet your downstairs in five?¡± ¡°Yup.¡± We met in my car seven minutester. I had suggested it on a whim, but now I was extremely d I had decided to be spontaneous. I had found it increasingly difficult to concentrate thest few days. My obsession with Kristen was deepening, and I could feel it. I could feel myself falling for her, and there were moments when it felt like I was already in love with her. Even when I was not with her, I thought about her constantly. It made me realize that I spent much less time thinking about Daphne. For the first time in a long time, I was happy and hopeful, and the emotions were so alien to me that for a while I hadn¡¯t even recognized them for what they were. As we drove, I held Kristen¡¯s hand in mine. It took us about twenty minutes to get to the beach, and once we were there, I felt Kristen rx. ¡°I love the beach,¡± she said. Since it was midday during working hours, the beach was peaceful and tranquil. There were very few people walking the beach, and the few who were were absorbed in their own thing. The pier was practically empty as started to walk down, enjoying the soft breeze against our faces. ¡°What do you think?¡± I asked. ¡°Burgers by the bay or would you prefer hot dogs?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s do both,¡± Kristen suggested. ¡°That way we can both share.¡± ¡°Brilliant idea,¡± I nodded. ¡°If we keep walking in this direction we¡¯ll find a shack that sells amazing burgers.¡± Holding hands, we walked down the pier. We must have looked a little out of ce in our work attire, but it was a glorious kind of freedom, to be released from the pressures of work. I realized how much I¡¯d missed out on all these years. Working myself to the bone had been a good distraction while I needed it, but now Kristen was there to distract me, and now work was nothing more than an inconvenience. ¡°It¡¯s ironic, isn¡¯t it?¡± Kristen said, breaking through my thoughts. ¡°What is?¡± ¡°We work for a maritime shippingpany, and we never see the sea?¡± Iughed. ¡°I suppose that is ironic,¡± I nodded. ¡°I used to love sailing.¡± ¡°You sailed?¡± she asked, looking up at me with interest. ¡°When I was a teenager,¡± I nodded. ¡°Uncle Ashton had a little boat that he loved, and Henry and I used to take it out all the time.¡± ¡°Henry was the cousin you lost in Afghanistan, wasn¡¯t he?¡± ¡°He was,¡± I nodded. ¡°But not before he distinguished himself for bravery; he has a medal of honor.¡± ¡°You must be proud,¡± she said, squeezing my hand. ¡°I am,¡± I nodded. ¡°But sometimes¡­ I wish he¡¯d have been less brave.¡± ¡°I understand that,¡± she nodded. ¡°How has your aunt been doing?¡± I hadn¡¯t mentioned introducing the two of them recently. I figured I¡¯d give Kristen some time to get used to the idea before I mentioned it again. ¡°She¡¯s doing well,¡± I nodded. ¡°She¡¯s seeing someone.¡± ¡°That¡¯s great,¡± Kristen smiled. ¡°Good for her.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I agreed. ¡°She¡¯s been so consumed with Henry¡¯s death that she forgot to live her own life.¡± ¡°Something you understand very well,¡± Kristen said pointedly. I smiled. ¡°Okay, fine¡­ I did the same thing.¡± ¡°Not that I me you,¡± she assured me. ¡°It¡¯s not an easy thing to lose a spouse¡­and I can¡¯t even imagine losing a child.¡± ¡°I know,¡± I nodded. ¡°It was the most awful thing that had happened to our family. It nearly destroyed me, and it broke Uncle Ashton and Aunt Margo.¡± ¡°Is that the reason they divorced?¡± ¡°I think so,¡± I said. ¡°They didn¡¯t have any major problems before that. And, I remember all the fights preceding Henry¡¯s enlistment. He had discussed enlisting with them, and Uncle Ashton was angry. He felt as though Mom had encouraged him to enlist because of the history of our family.¡± ¡°Margo is your father¡¯s sister?¡± ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± I nodded. I looked out towards the ocean. ¡°Henry was the better sailor, though¡­ That was one of the reasons I looked up to him so much. He was amazing at whatever he attempted. We used to sail miles out into the sea and then we used to eat burgers and talk about how we were going to enlist one day and distinguish ourselves as war heroes.¡± Kristen looked sad as I spoke. ¡°You miss him, don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°He was the closest thing to a brother I had,¡± I replied. ¡°Which is why the military helped me so much in the aftermath of his death. It gave me that same sense of brotherhood again.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t imagine that kind of life,¡± she whispered. ¡°What kind of life?¡± ¡°Marrying a man who was fighting wars in foreignnds¡­ I would be out of my mind with worry. I don¡¯t know how your grandmother or your mother did it.¡± ¡°They were strong women,¡± I said. ¡°They must have been to have raised someone like you.¡± ¡°Someone like me?¡± I asked, not sure what she meant by that. ¡°Someone brave and strong and kind and¡­passionate.¡± ¡°You think I¡¯m passionate?¡± ¡°You¡¯re passionate about your work, about your military career, about your son¡­ You were passionate about your wife while she was alive, and you¡¯re passionate about your family.¡± I smiled, noticing how easily she had mentioned Daphne. ¡°Do you mind when I mention Daphne?¡± I asked.N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. ¡°No of course not,¡± Kristen said immediately, and I could tell from her tone that she was sincere. ¡°She¡¯s Noah¡¯s mother, and I wouldn¡¯t ever want to ignore that. I understand she was an important and cherished part of your past, and I respect that. I don¡¯t want topete with her memory because that¡¯s one fight I know I¡¯m going to lose. So I¡¯m just going to do my best to be the best version of myself for Noah¡­and for you.¡± I grabbed her suddenly and kissed her hard on the lips. She giggled against me and pushed me back. ¡°People are watching,¡± she said self-consciously. ¡°I honestly couldn¡¯t care less.¡± Kristen looked at me with surprise. ¡°You know, I never pegged you for the kind of guy who was okay with public disys of affection.¡± ¡°I¡¯m usually not,¡± I admitted. ¡°Daphne and I would hold hands in public, and that was about it. I¡¯ve never really been one for public disys of affection. But with you¡­it¡¯s different.¡± I could tell that those words meant a lot to her. She didn¡¯t want to bepared to Daphne all the time, nor did she want our rtionship to mimic the one I¡¯d had with Daphne because that would reduce her to a paler version of a stronger love. We were both starting to realize that this was a rtionship in its own right and it had nothing to do with Daphne. We made it to the shack I had told her about and I ordered burgers and hot dogs and shakes. Then we found a bench with a spectacr view of the ocean, and we sat down to enjoy our lunch. For the first time, I wasn¡¯t checking my watch or anxious about meetings. I just wanted to sit here with Kristen and enjoy good food and good conversation without having to worry about anything else. ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll buy a yacht,¡± I said suddenly. Kristen raised her eyebrows. ¡°Maybe you¡¯ll buy a yacht?¡± ¡°Yeah¡­ Why not?¡± ¡°You¡¯re serious?¡± I smiled. ¡°I told you I loved sailing¡­ And think about it, if I bought one, we could sail into the ocean and spend the whole day in the sea. Noah would love that.¡± She smiled. ¡°That does sound kinda perfect.¡± I nodded. It was the first time that I¡¯d nned anything, and it gave me a little thrill of excitement. Was it possible to leave behind the pain? Was it possible to let go of all the anger and frustration and just be happy? Sitting there with Kristen¡­it certainly felt like it. Episode Thirty-Three Kristen¡¯s [POV] ¡°I was thinking¡­¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± I asked, looking up at Jake. There was something different about him today. He seemed more open somehow. As though the beach and the walk and the conversation had permitted him to be excited about his future. I realized that this was possibly the first time he was looking toward the future with any kind of optimism. ¡°Maybe we could go away sometime, the three of us?¡± he suggested. I wondered if he was a little nervous asking me in the first ce. If it hadn¡¯t been for the secret I was keeping, I would have been thrilled. As it stood though, I had this huge weight on my chest. I had been trying to work up the courage to tell him, but my fear of losing him and Noah was preventing me from leaping. I wanted to be braver, but my fear was crippling. ¡°I was thinking we could do a road trip of sorts,¡± Jake continued. ¡°We could drive into the next state, maybe stay a day or two with Aunt Margo, and then just go wherever the wind takes us.¡± I smiled. ¡°That¡¯s a beautiful n.¡± ¡°I used to dream about doing that one day when I had a family of my own.¡± I paused a second as Jake¡¯s expression faltered a little. I put my hand on his. ¡°Did you and Daphne n on taking a road trip with Noah one day?¡± ¡°Actually, no,¡± Jake replied. ¡°Daphne hated the idea of road trips. She didn¡¯t like being stuck in a car for long periods. And anyway, we never really nned any family trips, to begin with. After Noah was born, Daphne was depressed for a long time, and then she re-enlisted and went overseas, and¡­she never came back.¡± I leaned my head against his shoulder and rubbed his arm gently. ¡°Do you think things would have been different if she had stayed?¡± ¡°Meaning would she have gotten over the post-partum?¡± he rified. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know,¡± he replied. ¡°And believe me, I¡¯ve spent hours thinking about all the different possibilities. Daphne wasn¡¯t ready to be a mother¡­ Hell, I wasn¡¯t ready to be a father. She was twenty-three, and I was twenty-four. We had our lives nned out, and children didn¡¯t enter into it for another decade, at least. I think she didn¡¯t want to be pregnant, but she convinced herself she was happy. ¡°Then she found herself back home living a civilian¡¯s life, and I was still in Afghanistan being a soldier, and she just grew sadder and sadder. I think she hoped that that would change once Noah was born, and honestly, I hoped the same thing. But then¡­ Noah was born, and everything just got worse.¡± ¡°I wish I could have been there for her,¡± I said, without thinking. ¡°What?¡± Jake said, looking at me in shock. ¡°Uh¡­nothing.¡± ¡°You would have wanted to be there for my wife?¡± He sounded baffled by that sentiment. It was yet another opening for me. All I had to do was say ¡®I wanted to be there for her because she was my sister,¡¯ but there was no way I was strong or brave enough to say those words. ¡°Um¡­ I just¡­ It¡¯s hard to go through something like that alone,¡± I said, stumbling over my words. ¡°Sometimes you just need a little help.¡± Jake frowned as though he wasn¡¯t quite sure whether to believe me or not. ¡°You are strange, Kristen¡­but you¡¯re also wonderful.¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m not,¡± I said, feeling disgusted with myself. ¡°Hey,¡± he said, hooking his finger under my chin and pushing it up so that he could see my face. ¡°Trust me¡­ I know what wonderful looks like. And, you¡¯re it.¡± His blue eyes were bright and open and beautiful, and I felt instantly ashamed of myself. I was allowing him to get deeper into this withouting clean with him first. Maybe my mother was right maybe I was no better than she was. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± I said, feeling emotion constrict around my throat. ¡°For what?¡± Jake asked. ¡°For¡­everything,¡± I whispered. Jake frowned in confusion, but then he smiled. ¡°You feel too much, Kristen,¡± he said. ¡°That¡¯s your problem. Nowe on, let¡¯s head on back to the office.¡± The drive back was mostly silent. I could tell that Jake was as involved with his thoughts as I was with mine. Except I could tell from his expression that he was reflecting on good things, while I was just trying to juggle my guilt and shame with my love for Jake and Noah. ¡°I miss him,¡± I said instinctively. ¡°Me, too,¡± Jake nodded. I realized that I¡¯d never mentioned whom I missed by name, and yet Jake knew exactly whom I was talking about. It was the kind of connection every girl dreamed of having¡­and I wondered if it was all part of life¡¯s cruel irony that I would find that with a man who was never meant for me. We took separate elevators up to our floor just to avoid people linking us together. It wasn¡¯t as though there was apany policy or anything, but neither one of us wanted to have to answer awkward questions from nosy work colleagues. I was already sitting at my desk when Jake walked in. He nodded to me formally before disappearing into his office. But a secondter, he called me in to meet him. ¡°Hi,¡± I said, poking my head in. ¡°What do you need?¡± ¡°You,¡± he said. ¡°Come in and lock the door.¡± Tentatively, I walked in and shut the door behind me. Jake was leaning against his desk with a strange glint in his eye. He looked like some roguish model, with his tousled dark hair and his perfect blue eyes smiling at me. I came forward, still recovering from the conversation we¡¯d had over lunch. I wanted to be near him, but at the same time, I wanted the weight on my chest to lift. I wanted to be with him without worry and guilt. ¡°Are you okay?¡± Jake asked, taking my hand. ¡°You seem a little stressed.¡± ¡°I¡­ I suppose I am a little stressed.¡± ¡°Why?¡± he asked, pulling me closer to him. ¡°Um¡­ I have had a lot on my mindtely,¡± I admitted. Jake appeared to be only half-listening to me. His lips came down on my neck and he started to kiss me slowly. ¡°What¡¯s bothering you?¡± he asked as he continued to tease me. ¡°Uh¡­nothing.¡± ¡°It can¡¯t be nothing if it¡¯s bothering you.¡± I shivered a little as his tongue traveled along the length of my neck. ¡°I¡­ I know¡­¡± ¡°Well?¡± he pressed, as he ced soft kisses on my lips. ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°Um¡­you know¡­ I can¡¯t quite¡­remember just now,¡± I managed to say. His smile was boyish and teasing. ¡°Am I distracting you?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± His smile grew wider as his hands slipped up my skirt towards my panties. At first, I thought he was just feeling me up a little, but then his fingers hooked around the waistband of my panties and pulled them off me in one swift move. ¡°Oh my God,¡± I gasped, as I tried to pull away from him. ¡°What are you doing?¡± His arms were vice-like around me, refusing to let me go. He held me close to his body and pushed two fingers inside me. I gasped and clung to him as he started fingering me urgently. My eyes rolled back in my head, and against my will, my leg raised a little to help him push deeper inside me. ¡°We can¡¯t be doing this here,¡± I gasped, trying to gain control over my weakened resolve. ¡°What if someone¡­ Oh, God¡­ What if someone walks in?¡± ¡°You locked the door, didn¡¯t you?¡± Jake said, as he pushed his fingers right up inside me and shook so hard that my head spun with delirious excitement. I was soaking wet when Jake pulled his fingers out again. I was also so turned on that I was willing to have him fuck me in front of the entire office and the board of directors, as well. Sensing that I was nowpletely pliant, Jake grabbed me by the waist and turned me around so that I was leaning against his desk. Then he pushed open my legs and stepped between them. His cock was rock hard, and I reached out to encircle it with my hand. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his erect penis. The sight of it sent new shivers of pleasure running through my body. He didn¡¯t bother undressing me. We kept all our clothes on, and somehow that excited me, too.Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. Then he pushed inside me, and I had to bite my lip to stop the gasp from escaping my lips. I was so wet that he slid in and out of me easily. There was nothing gentle about the way he fucked me this time. He rammed into me so hard that I wondered if everyone outside the office would be able to hear us. The sound of his pelvis mming into mine had to be one of the most erotic sounds I had ever heard. His hands worked over my chest, unbuttoning my blouse and undoing my bra. Luckily, I had worn my front sp bra today. He yed with my nipples, sucking them from time to time when his pace slowed, and he needed to catch his breath. Then he pushed me back onto his desk so that I was lying spread-eagled against the surface, disrupting his papers and files. He didn¡¯t seem to care, and even I couldn¡¯t muster up the willpower to stop him. I was just about to cum when he pulled out of me out. He sat down in one of hisrge ck chairs and pulled me down on top of him. Desperate for the feel of his cock inside me again, I mounted him quickly and sat down on top of his cock. Again, he slid inside me easily, and I rode him hard, matching the pace he had set earlier. His hands moved from my hips to my ass, squeezing as I bounced on top of him. I came so violently that I felt my eyes roll back in my head and I was forced to bite down on my tongue so hard that I wounded myself in the process. I just sat there for a few minutes, on top of him, while he encircled me with his arms. I could feel his breathing at my neck and the scent of him clinging to my skin. It was primal and animalistic, and I liked the idea that I smelled of him now. ¡°That was¡­fun,¡± he said, atst, breaking the sex-fueled silence. I let out a lowugh. ¡°I hope no one heard us.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t give a fuck if they did,¡± Jake said. ¡°I¡¯m finally happy, and I don¡¯t care who knows it.¡± I smiled and cradled his face in my hands. ¡°I make you happy?¡± ¡°Happier than you could imagine,¡± he confirmed. ¡°You¡¯re my happy ce.¡± I felt my heart do cartwheels. Was it possible to fly? At that moment everything felt possible. ¡°And you¡¯re mine,¡± I whispered in his ear. ¡°I love you, Jake.¡± He pulled his face back a little and looked right at me. His face was unreadable for a moment, and then he smiled. ¡°I love you, Kristen,¡± he replied. And just like that, I had dug myself an even deeper grave. But at the moment, I didn¡¯t let myself think about that. At that moment, I decided to cling to blissful denial and forget the secret that was threatening to steal away my one chance at true happiness. Episode Thirty-Four Jake¡¯s [POV] It was rare for me to spend a night without Noah or Kristen nowadays. But I knew that Luis was going to be in town for only a short while longer, and I wanted to meet him as much as I could while he was here. I walked into the bar and checked the time. I was a littlete, but I knew Luis wouldn¡¯t mind. He¡¯d be at the bar with a drink in hand. ¡°Hi, man,¡± I said, slipping onto the bar stool next to him. ¡°Sorry, I¡¯mte.¡± ¡°No worries,¡± he nodded. ¡°I ordered you a beer.¡± ¡°I was hoping you would,¡± I nodded as I took a sip of the beer. It was darker than I had anticipated and the heat felt nice going down. ¡°So¡­what kept you?¡± he asked teasingly. ¡°Your son or the new me?¡± I smiled. ¡°Both actually,¡± I admitted. ¡°Noah was building a fort in the living room with Kristen, and they needed me to help erect part of their fort.¡± ¡°She¡¯s babysitting?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not the first time,¡± I pointed out. ¡°She babysits for me often now¡­ I haven¡¯t had to call my backup babysitter in weeks.¡± ¡°A girlfriend and a babysitter all in one hot package, huh?¡± Iughed. ¡°Fuck you¡­it¡¯s not like that. I care about her.¡± ¡°I can see that,¡± he nodded. ¡°And, she obviously cares about Noah.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll admit, that was a relief,¡± I said. ¡°What if Noah didn¡¯t like her; what if she didn¡¯t like him? That would have been terrible.¡± ¡°If that had been the case, then you and Kristen wouldn¡¯t be together in the first ce.¡± ¡°Good point,¡± I nodded. I took another sip of beer and then looked at Luis. ¡°I feel like we¡¯re always talking about me. What¡¯s new with you?¡± He gave me a cheeky grin, and I knew immediately something was up. ¡°Something is new with you,¡± I said. ¡°Am I right?¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± ¡°Do tell,¡± I insisted. ¡°I met someone,¡± he admitted. ¡°Well, well¡± ¡°Shut up,¡± Luisughed. ¡°Her name¡¯s Catherine. She¡¯s a nurse in the pediatric unit of the All Saint¡¯s Hospital.¡± ¡°How did you meet her?¡± Heughed. ¡°It¡¯s a funny story, actually,¡± he said. ¡°We had this party for my brother¡¯s kid, and he ended up having an allergic reaction to some cupcakes that Dad bought for the party. We had to rush him to the hospital, and Catherine was the nurse that attended to him.¡± ¡°Fuck, that¡¯s some story,¡± I said. ¡°Some would call it a meet-cute.¡± ¡°Is that the technical term?¡± Iughed. ¡°I think it¡¯s the movie term.¡± ¡°Since when do you know about movie terms?¡± I asked. ¡°Since Catherine loves romanticedies and old romantic movies,¡± Luis said. I raised my eyebrows. ¡°You watch old romantic movies with her?¡± ¡°Well¡­yeah.¡± ¡°Wow, you must really like this girl, huh?¡± Luis looked down at his beer without responding immediately, and that small action by itself told me that he liked this girl a lot, probably more than he wanted to. ¡°She¡¯s not like any of the other girls I¡¯ve been with.¡± ¡°What¡¯s different about her?¡± ¡°She doesn¡¯t seem scared by the fact that I¡¯m in the military,¡± he said. ¡°In fact, she¡¯s interested in hearing about my life there. She¡¯s honest, she¡¯s straightforward, and she¡¯s¡­ I don¡¯t know; she just has something.¡± I smiled. ¡°Sounds like you more than just like this girl,¡± I said. ¡°Sounds like you might be falling for her.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± Luis said. ¡°But I know that if I keep this up, I could fall for her.¡± ¡°And that¡¯s a bad thing because¡­¡± ¡°Because I¡¯m deploying soon,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯m only in town for a few more weeks. And I¡¯ve always promised myself that I would never get seriously involved with a woman while I¡¯m still in the military.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Because it¡¯s unfair to her; because she would spend half her life waiting for me and then¡­what if I don¡¯te back?¡± I thought instantly about Henry and Daphne. Henry didn¡¯t have a wife or children, but he did leave behind parents who loved him like crazy, and his death and destroyed their marriage. I thought about all the friends I had lost during my career. In total, I had watched three brothers die; one had given hisst breath right before my eyes. Luis had been around during that time, and he had seen how much Michael¡¯s death had affected me. ¡°You¡¯re thinking about Michael, aren¡¯t you?¡± Luis asked, as though he had been reading my mind. I nodded. ¡°I haven¡¯t thought about him in a long time¡­mostly because hisst moments haunt me to this day.¡± ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± Luis nodded. ¡°You were the one who was with him.¡± I nodded. ¡°He was bleeding out, and I knew our pickup was still at least fifteen minutes away. I think we both knew he wouldn¡¯t make it.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve never really spoken about that with me.¡± ¡°I never spoke about that with anyone,¡± I said. ¡°I couldn¡¯t it¡¯s one thing to be aware of death, and it¡¯s another thing to see death right in front of you. It was one of the most confronting experiences of my life. He had a wife and two kids back home.¡± ¡°I know,¡± Luis nodded. ¡°He didn¡¯t mention them, though,¡± I said. ¡°People always assumed that he did¡­but he was just scared for himself. He didn¡¯t want to die, and he knew he had no choice.¡± ¡°Michael and I were friends,¡± Luis said tiredly. ¡°I met his wife several times and his children.¡± ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± I nodded. ¡°I remember.¡± ¡°Emma was his high school sweetheart; they got married right after their graduation when they were both eighteen. Emma was pregnant with Katie.¡± Luis got quiet for a second, and I knew he was thinking about Michael¡¯s widow and the children he¡¯d left behind. ¡°I went to see Emma and the kids a few months ago when I first got here.¡± ¡°How were they?¡± I asked. ¡°Katie¡¯s seven,¡± Luis said, in awe of the time and how ruthless it could be. ¡°Peter¡¯s five. They don¡¯t really remember Michael at all¡­ They know him from the pictures, but they have no real memory of him.¡± ¡°And Emma?¡± ¡°Emma¡¯s¡­bitter,¡± Luis admitted. ¡°She¡¯s still angry with the world with God, with life. You just need to be angry at something.¡± ¡°Hey, I get that,¡± I said. ¡°I was angry for a long time, too.¡± ¡°If I remember correctly, you were angry up until a few months ago when you started dating Kristen.¡± I smiled. ¡°The easiest way to move on is to meet someone that can make you forget, someone who can make you hopeful again,¡± I said. ¡°Not everyone is that lucky. ¡°No, I suppose not. I don¡¯t think Emma even wants to meet someone else. It¡¯s like Michael died only recently, the way she talks. It¡¯s a hard thing to endure and¡­ I just don¡¯t want to put someone else through that.¡± ¡°By someone, you mean Catherine?¡± ¡°She¡¯s a good woman,¡± he confided. ¡°Getting involved with her and staying with her means that I¡¯m opening up the possibility of a future with her, and that means marriage and children. I¡¯m not ready to leave the military yet, which means she there¡¯s a possibility she might end up as an army wife.¡± ¡°You¡¯re scared that Catherine will end up living the life that Emma is currently living?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± Luis sighed. ¡°Which is why I¡¯m thinking of breaking up with her before I leave.¡± ¡°But you don¡¯t want to?¡± ¡°No, I don¡¯t,¡± he said decidedly. ¡°Then I think you would be making a mistake by breaking up with her,¡± I said honestly. ¡°She¡¯s a grown woman, and she¡¯s aware of the life you¡¯ve chosen. You said it yourself; she¡¯s interested in your military career, which means she¡¯ll understand what she¡¯s getting into. Maybe you should let her decide what she wants to do.¡± ¡°But¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to marry her anytime soon,¡± I pointed out. ¡°Take things easy and see where it goes. If what you have with her is real, it will survive everything, including time and distance.¡± Luis smiled at me and took a sip of his beer. ¡°What?¡± I asked. ¡°Nothing,¡± he said. ¡°It¡¯s just that she¡¯s really done a number on you.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Kristen,¡± Luis said. ¡°You¡¯ve really fallen for her, haven¡¯t you?¡± I paused. ¡°She¡¯s helped me move on,¡± I nodded. ¡°Which she could have only done if you¡¯re feeling for her were strong enough,¡± he pointed out. I sighed. ¡°I don¡¯t know if the feeling¡¯s mutual, though,¡± I admitted. He frowned. ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ Lately, I¡¯ve been getting strange vibes from her,¡± I said. ¡°As though she¡¯s nervous about something. Sometimes I feel as though she¡¯s sacred about us.¡± ¡°Scared?¡± ¡°Yeah¡­ I mean, I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve been putting pressure on her.¡± Luisughed. ¡°What was the tipping point?¡±N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. ¡°Well¡­ A while back I mentioned wanting to meet her parents,¡± I said. ¡°And she mmed up after that.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°She has a bad rtionship with her parents,¡± I said. ¡°She¡¯s told me all about her father, and he definitely seems like an asshole so I get that she might not want me to meet him. But both her parents?¡± ¡°Well, if she has a bad rtionship with both of them, surely you can understand why she might not want you to meet them,¡± he said. ¡°I mean, you want to present yourself in the best possible light to the people you care about. She¡¯s probably just embarrassed.¡± ¡°I know she is,¡± I said. ¡°But it¡¯s not just her reluctance about that. Even when she talks about her past and her family and her adolescence, I feel as though she¡¯s holding something back. At first, I thought she was hiding something from me, but then I realized it might not be that at all. Maybe she just doesn¡¯t feelfortable enough with me to share everything.¡± ¡°Well then, you need to find out what it is,¡± Luis said. ¡°But in my opinion, this woman is staying home to look after your kid¡­it sounds like she¡¯s just as into you as you are into her.¡± ¡°You think?¡± I asked, clinging to that hope. ¡°I think,¡± Luis smiled. ¡°But what the hell do I know? I haven¡¯t even met this girl. I suggest you talk to her about it if it¡¯s bothering you.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to spook her.¡± He looked at me with patience. ¡°She¡¯s spending time with your kid, Jake,¡± he said. ¡°You don¡¯t want the kid to get too attached if Kristen¡¯s not going to be in your life for the long haul.¡± ¡°I know,¡± I sighed. ¡°You know you might just be reading too much into this,¡± he pointed out. ¡°Or maybe I¡¯m not seeing something that¡¯s right in front of my face.¡± Luis nced at me sympathetically. ¡°Or maybe we¡¯re both just a couple of broken men trying to save ourselves more heartbreak somewhere down the line.¡± I smiled. ¡°That¡¯s possible, too.¡± ¡°I¡¯d like to meet her one day, Jake,¡± Luis said. ¡°I hope you will,¡± I said. ¡°Does that mean marriage is on the table?¡± he asked with one raised eyebrow. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I said, realizing that I might actually want to walk down that road again. ¡°You hope so, don¡¯t you?¡± I sighed. ¡°I actually think I do. Can you believe that?¡± ¡°Of course, I believe that,¡± he said. ¡°You never really got a chance at a real married life or at a real family. Why wouldn¡¯t you want that now?¡± ¡°Because I could stand to lose it?¡± ¡°Then ask yourself: is it worth the risk?¡± Luis said. ¡°And if it is, no matter how much heartbreak mighte from it, do it anyway.¡± Episode Thirty-Five Kristen¡¯s [POV] ¡°Can I try one?¡± Noah asked impatiently. ¡°They¡¯re still hot, sweetheart,¡± I told him. ¡°Just give them five minutes, and they¡¯ll be ready for dunking.¡± ¡°They look so good.¡± ¡°They do, don¡¯t they?¡± I nodded. ¡°These were my favorite snack to make when I was ten.¡± Noah¡¯s mouth formed a little ¡®o¡¯ shape. ¡°You knew how to make cookies when you were ten?¡± ¡°I sure did,¡± I nodded. ¡°Your mommy didn¡¯t make them for you?¡± I hesitated a moment, remembering my lonely childhood. Mom had mostly been working, and whatever free time she did have left over was spent on her friends. Of course, when Ted designed to give her the time of day, nothing could keep her from his side. She would even miss work to stay at home and be with him. Shortly after my tenth birthday, Ted decided toe and spend the weekend with us. He¡¯d bought Mom flowers that looked like they¡¯d been hacked from a neighbor¡¯s backyard, and he had bought me a teddy bear with one eye. He¡¯d imed that the eye had popped out when he was removing it from the car, but I had never believed that story. He and Mom spent the whole morning in her room, and I had to listen to a never-ending loop of moans and creaks. I took the radio into my room and listened to music until I had managed to drown them out. That afternoon when I emerged from my room, I was to find Mom and Ted in the hall pawing at one another. ¡°Kris,¡± Mom said. ¡°How would you feel about spending the evening alone, all by yourself like a big girl?¡± I frowned at her in confusion. ¡°Where are you going?¡± ¡°Daddy and I are going out for a while¡­ We haven¡¯t seen each other in so long,¡± she said. ¡°You want Mom and Dad to have time alone together, right?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I replied because that was the only answer she wanted to hear. Smacking her hands together, Mom jumped up excitedly. Then she disappeared into her room to change. Ted had sat on the sofa and tried to engage me in conversation. ¡°How old are you now?¡± he had asked me. ¡°Seven?¡± ¡°Ten.¡± ¡°Wow, you¡¯re kinda small for a ten-year-old.¡± When Mom emerged again, she was wearing a short red dress and a face full of makeup. Somehow, she looked ten years older than me. They left the house without looking back, and I walked around, wondering why my parents were so different from everyone else¡¯s. That was when I decided to bake cookies. For the first time, the house waspletely mine, and I could do whatever I wanted. And what I wanted was a chocte chip cookie. I found a recipe book and followed the instructions diligently. Within the hour I had fat, chunky chocte chip cookies and a deep and satisfying sense of aplishment. I had piled the cookies into a bowl, headed into my room, and spent the whole evening and most of the night eating cookies and ying with my imaginary friends. And for just a few hours, I forgot that I had strange parents. I forgot that I was alone. I even forgot that I had no friends. It was enough to just sit there and eat cookies. Which was why I had always had a fondness for baking and cookie eating. ¡°My mommy was too busy to bake me cookies,¡± I told Noah honestly. He looked sadly at me. ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± Noah looked sad for me, and I felt a burst of love for him. He was such a sensitive child. I kissed his forehead and then pushed the tray of cookies toward him. ¡°Go ahead,¡± I said. ¡°I think they¡¯re cool enough now.¡± Noah was eating his first cookie when Jake walked in. It was earlier than I had expected to see him, and I jumped up in excitement. ¡°You¡¯re back,¡± I said. I was just about to run into his arms when I remembered Noah. Even though the three of us spent a lot of time together, Jake and I were careful about being affectionate in front of Noah. We didn¡¯t want him to get invested in our rtionship just yet. It was merely a safety precaution, but sometimes I wished we didn¡¯t have to be so careful. ¡°How was your boys¡¯ night?¡± I asked, reigning in my enthusiasm and sitting back down.Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. ¡°Good,¡± Jake replied. ¡°Noah? Can I get a hello?¡± Noah looked up at his father and smiled. ¡°We made cookies, Daddy.¡± Heughed. ¡°I can see that. Is that the reason I¡¯m being neglected by my favorite son?¡± Noah giggled. ¡°I¡¯m your only son.¡± ¡°Here you go,¡± I said, pushing a cookie toward him. ¡°Go crazy.¡± We spent a good half an hour eating cookies and swapping stories about our day. Noah sat on myp and gave Jake a y-by-y of everything we had done. ¡°The fort¡¯s still up, I see,¡± Jake said. ¡°I can take it down in the night,¡± I said. ¡°No!¡± Noah said, looking towards his fort. Jakeughed. ¡°Let¡¯s leave it up,¡± he said. ¡°I think it gives character to the room.¡± ¡°Me, too,¡± Noah piped up. Noah ended up falling asleep in my arms, and I kissed his cheek softly as I brushed the hair from his face. He looked so peaceful in sleep; all I wanted to do was kiss him all over. When I looked up, I realized that Jake was watching me carefully. I wondered if it upset him to see his son being mothered by someone other than Daphne. For a second, I wasn¡¯t sure if he was touched by the sight or angered by it. ¡°I¡¯d better get him to bed,¡± Jake said, rising to his feet and reaching out for Noah. We made the transfer smoothly, and Jake disappeared down the hall with Noah in his arms. I took the time to clear up a little in the living room. When I turned, I realized that Jake was leaning against the wall, watching me work. ¡°Hi there,¡± I said. ¡°How long have you been standing there?¡± He smiled. ¡°A minute or two.¡± ¡°You could have said something.¡± ¡°I liked my view,¡± he replied. ¡°And, I wanted to admire it for a moment.¡± I tried to hide my blush from him by turning toward the sink to wash the remaining dishes. A secondter, I felt Jake¡¯s arms encircle me as his body closed in on mine. It felt so good to be near him. I missed everything about him when he was not with me, including his smell. He closed the tap and pushed the dish out of my hands. ¡°Leave it,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ll do itter.¡± ¡°It¡¯ll only take me a minute,¡± I said, enjoying the way he was running his hands up and down my legs. ¡°Leave it,¡± he said again. Slowly and deliberately, he turned me around to face him. His blue eyes were soft and thoughtful, and I noticed there was a deeper emotion beneath them. ¡°How was Luis?¡± I asked. ¡°He¡¯s leaving soon,¡± Jake replied. ¡°He wants to meet you one day.¡± I smiled. ¡°I¡¯d like to meet him, too.¡± ¡°Would you?¡± ¡°Of course¡­ I want to meet your friends and your family.¡± ¡°But you don¡¯t want me to meet yours?¡± I tensed a little. ¡°Only because I don¡¯t want you to think badly of me.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not possible,¡± he assured me. I shook my head and removed myself from his arms as I walked over to the living room. ¡°Everything is possible,¡± I said, sitting down on the sofa. Jake followed me there and sat down beside me. ¡°Did Noah tire you out?¡± ¡°Not at all,¡± I assured him. ¡°It was so much fun spending time with him today. I love that kid.¡± ¡°I think it¡¯s safe to say he loves you, too,¡± Jake said. I nced over at him. ¡°And¡­how do you feel about that?¡± He took my hand and kissed it tenderly. ¡°I feel a little scared,¡± he admitted. ¡°But I also feel really happy.¡± I smiled despite myself. ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± he nodded. ¡°I watch you with him, and it just feels so natural. I can see that you have a connection with him. It¡¯s impossible to deny.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to take Daphne¡¯s ce, Jake,¡± I said softly. ¡°But I do hope that there¡¯s room in your life and Noah¡¯s life for me.¡± ¡°I think it¡¯s safe to say there is,¡± he replied. I smiled and leaned in to kiss him. I was about to pull away, but Jake grabbed me and pushed me back onto the sofa. He climbed on top of me, and I could tell where this was leading. ¡°No,¡± I said firmly, trying to push his hands away. ¡°I want you,¡± Jake growled, and I felt myself moisten instantly at his words. ¡°And, I want you,¡± I said. ¡°But not here.¡± ¡°Noah¡¯s asleep,¡± Jake pointed out. ¡°What if he wakes up and walks in here?¡± I asked. ¡°He doesn¡¯t even really know about us¡­¡± Jake kept kissing my neck, so I pushed him back, grabbed his hand, and pulled him down the hallway toward his bedroom. Once the door was firmly shut behind us, I led him to his bed and started to undress him. His cock was rock hard, and I had to maneuver his pants around his erection. The sight of his beautiful hard penis inspired me, and I found myself slipping to my knees in front of him. Without titition, I slipped his cock into my mouth. I had the satisfaction of hearing a moan escape Jake and that alone gave me the confidence to take him deeper into my mouth. I sucked him hard and could feel his body respond to what I was doing. He seemed to be shaking, and his hands stroked the top of my head as I sucked his dick. ¡°Fuck,¡± he moaned. I pulled out just in time to watch him cum violently. Smiling, I sat down on the edge of his bed as his breathing calmed a little. He wiped himself off and sat down beside me. ¡°Sorry,¡± he said. ¡°That probably wasn¡¯t very fun for you.¡± ¡°On the contrary, that was extremely fun for me,¡± I said. ¡°Are you sure you were a virgin before me?¡± he checked. Iughed. ¡°Pretty sure.¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s your turn,¡± he said, pushing me back onto his bed and positioning my legs apart. First, he used his fingers and then he used his tongue until I was moaning and writhing and trying to squash my screams by gritting my teeth together. After I had cum, wey naked in Jake¡¯s bed listening to each other¡¯s breathing. It was bliss to feel soplete with a man. I had never experienced anything like this before. For a second, I wondered if this was what Mom felt when she was with Ted. Was that why she was sopletely blind where he was concerned? Because if I was feeling what she had felt all these years, I realized that I would find it extremely hard to me her. ¡°What are you thinking about?¡± Jake asked me. ¡°I¡¯m thinking of sex and love and everything in between,¡± I replied. He smiled. ¡°You want to know what I¡¯m thinking?¡± ¡°Do tell?¡± ¡°I¡¯m thinking that I want to fuck you in the shower,¡± Jake said, pulling me closer into the circle of his arms. ¡°And afterward, I want to bring you back to this bed and fuck you again.¡± I smiled. ¡°That¡¯s ambitious of you.¡± ¡°Oh trust me, you haven¡¯t seen anything yet.¡± ¡°Oh yeah?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°Prove it,¡± I challenged. Episode Thirty-Six Jake¡¯s [POV] Noah was asleep in his room, and Kristen had left a few minutes ago. Usually, she spent the night and left the early morning before Noah woke, but she imed she had been neglecting her apartment and her friend Melody, and she needed to make amends where both were concerned. It was surprising and even a little annoying how dependent I had be on Kristen. The moment she had left, I had felt a little pang of loneliness, and now I was sitting on my couch in the living room feeling dejected and slightly sorry for myself. I looked towards the picture of Daphne and smiled at her for what felt like the first time in years. ¡°Hi, hon,¡± I said softly. ¡°It¡¯s been a while since we spoke, huh?¡± I hadn¡¯t been able to think of her in a long time, and now that my heart had healed slightly, I realized that my memories of Daphne had changed. At least the lens through which I viewed those memories had changed. They were no longer pierced with pain and sadness. Now I could remember her and see the beauty and the love and the happiness in the time we had spent together. Each memory was tinged with bittersweet notes, but at least I could appreciate certain things now. ¡°You were my first real best friend, Daphne,¡± I said to her image. ¡°After Henry, I didn¡¯t have anyone to talk to. And then I met you, and I found my life partner. I never thought I¡¯d find myself searching again, but here we are. And to be honest¡­ I think it¡¯s happened again. I found a new best friend.¡± Daphne looked at me calmly. She was a beautiful woman, just like Kristen, and I wondered for a moment if they would have liked each other had they ever met. The circumstances would have been different, but somehow it made me feel better to imagine that they might have gotten along had Daphne been alive. ¡°She¡¯s an amazing woman, Daphne,¡± I continued. ¡°I think you would have liked her. And she¡¯s great with Noah. You will always be his mother, but maybe Kristen could hold down the fort for you? You would want that, wouldn¡¯t you? You would want Noah to have someone to love him¡­ as you would have.¡± I felt my eyes start to water a little, but I kept going. ¡°I know you weren¡¯t yourself before you deployed. I know that if you¡¯d given it time, you would have wanted to be a mother; you would have been excited. I should have educated myself about what you were going through. I should have been there for you. Instead, I made you feel guilty for not feeling what I thought you should have been feeling. It was my mistake, and I can¡¯t tell you how sorry I am. ¡°We both made mistakes, Daphne¡­ We were both young and unprepared for everything that happened. And there¡¯s no point trying to sort through all of it now. What¡¯s done is done. What¡¯s happened has happened. All I want to say to you now is¡­I¡¯m sorry, and I forgive you. I hope that wherever you are, you can find it in your heart to forgive me, too.¡± Wiping away the stray tear that had fallen, I got out my phone and scrolled through the pictures of the Halloween that had just passed. It was the first time we had made an event out of it. Noah was too young the first time around, and for the next few years, I had just been trying to stay afloat. So when Kristen brought it up this year, I decided to get into the spirit of the holiday for Noah. He had decided he wanted to be a dinosaur, so Kristen had made him a fantastic costume that Noah had gone nuts over. Kristen had shown up as Cher in one of her more modest outfits, and I had put on my old uniform for the first time in years and gone as the ghost of my past life. I had meant to be ironic, but wearing the uniform had filled me with vigor, and I had enjoyed myself the whole night. I scrolled through the pictures, and I couldn¡¯t help noticing that we looked like any other ordinary happy family. A few people had mistaken us for just that. Noah was over the moon the whole night. He brought home a bag of candy, and the three of us sat around the coffee table in the living room counting choctes and sampling all our favorites. Noah had stayed up past twelve that night, and it had taken five bedtime stories and a dozen nursery rhymes to coax him to sleep. Then Kristen and I stayed in the living room and continued eating the candy that Noah had spent all night collecting. I was still looking through pictures when a call came in on my phone. When I saw who was calling, I felt a little pang and thought how life was sometimes full of signs. ¡°Isabelle,¡± I said, answering the call. ¡°How are you?¡± ¡°Hi, Jake,¡± Isabelle replied. ¡°I¡¯m doing well. How is Noah?¡± ¡°Noah¡¯s doing good,¡± I nodded. ¡°He fell asleep a little while ago.¡± ¡°Oh that¡¯s too bad, I would have liked to speak to him,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯s been too long since I¡¯ve seen him.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I should have called you before now.¡± ¡°I understand, Jake¡­¡± ¡°No, but I never fully apologized to you for freaking out thest time we spoke.¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t freak out,¡± she said gently. ¡°You just got¡­emotional. Which ispletely understandable.¡± ¡°I just¡­it was hard for me to talk about her,¡± I admitted. ¡°It hurt too much.¡± ¡°I suppose for me it helps to talk about her,¡± Isabelle said. ¡°Which is why I kept pushing the topic. I should have realized it might be different for you. Which was why I decided to stay away for a little while and give you some space.¡± ¡°And, I appreciate that,¡± I said gratefully. ¡°But I¡¯ve had enough space now, and I don¡¯t want to keep you away from Noah. He should know his grandmother.¡± Isabelle¡¯s voice got soft and tender. ¡°How¡¯s my little boy?¡± she asked. ¡°He¡¯s four-and-a-half now, isn¡¯t he?¡± ¡°He¡¯s going to be five soon,¡± I said. ¡°I can¡¯t quite believe it.¡± ¡°Neither can I,¡± Isabelle said. ¡°It feels like just yesterday I was at the hospital with Daphne.¡± We fell silent for a moment. ¡°If you¡¯re worried about upsetting me by talking about Daphne, you don¡¯t have to worry. I¡¯m okay to talk about her.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Well¡­thest few months have been sort of transformative for me,¡± I said. ¡°I think I¡¯ve done a lot of healing in that time.¡± ¡°That¡¯s wonderful to hear,¡± she said. ¡°I can hear the change in your voice. You sound like the old Jake.¡± ¡°The old Jake,¡± I repeated, with a smile. ¡°I suppose he¡¯se back a little bit.¡± ¡°Oh, Jake, I¡¯m so d¡­ I knew how hard thest few years have been for you.¡± ¡°I¡¯vee to terms with what happened,¡± I said. ¡°Daphne¡¯s death and everything that followed was the hardest thing I¡¯ve ever had to live through. But I did it, and I¡¯d like to think I¡¯m stronger for it.¡± ¡°Have you forgiven her, Jake?¡± Isabelle asked. Again I thought about the timing of certain things as I mused on life¡¯s strangeness. ¡°I have,¡± I nodded honestly. ¡°She¡¯s not the only one who needs forgiveness, though. I did my fair share of damage.¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t expect her to re-enlist,¡± Isabelle saidfortingly. ¡°She enlisted because she couldn¡¯t talk to me,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m not unaware that I drove her to Afghanistan.¡± ¡°She loved it there too much,¡± Isabelle said. ¡°And being here with Noah¡­ She didn¡¯t think she knew herself anymore.¡± ¡°This conversation would have had me spiraling a year ago,¡± I admitted. ¡°But now, I can handle it. It¡¯s even therapeutic to talk about it.¡± ¡°I¡¯m d to hear that,¡± she said. ¡°Because I like talking about Daphne; it makes me feel like I haven¡¯t lost my daughter.¡± ¡°How have you been, Isabelle?¡± I asked. ¡°How are your travels going?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been in France for thest six months,¡± she said. ¡°Wow.¡± Isabelleughed. ¡°It was a wonderful experience. I think I might retire there one day. But it¡¯s still nice to be back home¡­ I think I¡¯m going to stick around for a while. I don¡¯t want to miss out on seeing Noah grow up.¡± ¡°Wait, does that mean you¡¯re in town right now?¡± ¡°I am,¡± she replied. ¡°And I¡¯m hoping you¡¯re going to be free to meet me?¡± ¡°Even if I wasn¡¯t free, I¡¯d make time,¡± I said. ¡°Noah is going to be thrilled to see you.¡± ¡°I¡¯d like to spend a day with him.¡± ¡°How does tomorrow sound?¡± I asked willingly. ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Really.¡± Isabelleughed. ¡°I¡¯d love that,¡± she said. ¡°I can¡¯t wait. It¡¯s been too long since I¡¯ve spent time with him¡­ Has he changed much?¡± ¡°He¡¯s a little more talkative now,¡± I said. ¡°He¡¯se out of his shell. Kristen¡¯s helped him-¡± The moment I said her name I faltered a little, realizing that I hadn¡¯t mentioned Kristen to Isabelle at this point. Isabelle noticed the change immediately. ¡°Kristen?¡± she asked, and her tone shifted slightly. ¡°Um¡­yes. She¡¯s my secretary,¡± I said awkwardly. ¡°Your secretary?¡± Isabelle asked, and her tone was dubious. ¡°Well, she¡¯s more like a friend now.¡± ¡°Just a friend?¡± she asked pointedly. I smiled. ¡°Well¡­¡± ¡°If you¡¯re seeing someone, Jake, you don¡¯t have to feel guilty to tell me,¡± Isabelle said. ¡°I¡¯m happy that you¡¯re past your pain and can think about getting on with your life. You¡¯re still a young man, and you deserve to be happy.¡± ¡°Thank you, Isabelle,¡± I said appreciatively. ¡°You¡¯ve always been a good mother-inw.¡± ¡°And, I hope to continue to be,¡± she said. ¡°You know, I would like to meet her, Jake.¡± I paused for a moment, wondering what Kristen would say to that. But then I realized that Kristen had no problem meeting my friends and family. She was just nervous about introducing me to her parents. ¡°I would like you to meet her, too,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s important to me that you like her.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure I will,¡± Isabelle said. ¡°What is she like?¡± I smiled. ¡°She¡¯s great with Noah,¡± I said immediately. ¡°She cooks for him all the time. She reads to him and helps him with his homework. She was the one who took him out for Halloween this year.¡± ¡°Do you have pictures?¡± Isabelle asked longingly. ¡°I¡¯ll show you a couple of them tomorrow,¡± I said. ¡°You know what? Why don¡¯t youe over tomorrow morning and have breakfast with the two of us? We can give Noah a little surprise?¡± ¡°Sounds perfect,¡± she agreed. ¡°And what about your new girlfriend?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure if she¡¯ll be able to join us tomorrow,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ll ask her if she¡¯s up to an early dinner, but even if she can¡¯t make it, we¡¯ll make ns to meet another time before you head off to your next country.¡± Isabelleughed. ¡°I¡¯m not in a hurry to go anywhere else for the time being,¡± she said. ¡°I think I¡¯d just like to stay put and enjoy my grandson for a while.¡± After we had hung up, I turned to the picture of Daphne. I remembered how destroyed her mother had been during the funeral. It had taken a year before Isabelle looked normal again. After that, she started traveling to bury the heat of her pain, and just like me, she was starting to regain her footing once more. She was starting to enjoy her life again.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°We¡¯re okay, Daphne,¡± I whispered to her image. ¡°We¡¯re all going to be okay.¡± And I hoped that wherever Daphne was, she could hear me. Episode Thirty-Seven Kristen¡¯s [POV] I woke up to the sound of gentle rain outside my window. I left Jake¡¯s ce earlier than usual yesterday. I¡¯d spent an hour cleaning up after I¡¯d gotten home, and then I¡¯d headed out for ate dinner with Melody. The whole time, however, I had thought about Jake. Melody had probably noticed, but she was a lot more forgiving with me because she was convinced I was madly in love with Jake. Not that she was far off the mark with that one. I was in love with Jake, and it was getting harder and harder to justify the secret I was keeping from him. He deserved the truth, and I desperately needed his trust. But how on earth was I supposed to secure it now? That was what was making me hesitate. I didn¡¯t know how to tell him the truth without destroying his trust and faith in me. I kept hoping some magical solution would present itself, but so far, I was just going around in circles in my head. I rolled out of bed, brushed my teeth, had a quick shower, and then walked to my kitchen. I had ns to meet Melody again today, but I was seriously thinking of canceling. I missed Jake and Noah, and as I looked out towards the gentle pitter-patter of the rain, I knew that Noah would enjoy baking cookies on a day like this. I noticed that there was a message on my answering machine that I hadn¡¯t checked, so I walked over and pressed the yback button. ¡°Hi, Kristen,¡± Jake¡¯s voice was clear and crisp, but he was talking a little fast like he was distracted by something. ¡°I¡¯m just calling to¡­to¡­ Noah, don¡¯t pull that, kid¡­ The whole thing¡¯s going to¡­ Noah, seriously?¡± I stifled augh as I listened to Jake trying to juggle the phone call with his son. ¡°Sorry¡­ Noah¡¯s trying to get to¡­ Anyway, I just called to ask about your ns for today. There¡¯s someone I¡¯d like you to meet. She¡¯s¡­ For God¡¯s sake, kid¡­ Kristen, I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯ve got to go. Try and drop in today if you have the time.¡± I walked to my fridge and opened the door. There were only a few fruits and a loaf of bread on the verge of going stale. I spent so much time at Jake¡¯s that keeping a fully stocked pantry and fridge just seemed wasteful. I realized that I wanted to see Jake and Noah today, and I wasn¡¯t prepared to wait until the evening. Quickly, I called up Melody, praying that she would understand. ¡°Hi,¡± I said brightly, the moment she picked up. ¡°Hi, what¡¯s up?¡± ¡°Um¡­ I was just calling to ask whether you were still in the mood to go shopping?¡± ¡°I¡¯m always in the mood to go shopping,¡± Melody said immediately. ¡°And today¡¯s thest day to find the right outfit because my date is tomorrow.¡± ¡°Ah, right¡­ Seems to me that I¡¯d just slow you down though,¡± I said, trying to be as diplomatic as possible. ¡°Kristen?¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°You¡¯re trying to get out of shopping with me today, aren¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Whatever gave you that idea?¡± ¡°Your high-pitched tone for one,¡± she replied bluntly. I smiled guiltily. ¡°Sorry¡­ It¡¯s just that¡­ I think Jake¡¯s aunt is in town, and he wants me to meet her. She¡¯s the closest thing to a mother he¡¯s had since his mom died and so this is kind of a big deal for me.¡± ¡°Fuck¡­ He wants you to meet his mother?¡± ¡°Well¡­ She¡¯s technically his aunt¡± ¡°Yeah, I get it; she¡¯s practically his mother.¡± ¡°Right.¡± ¡°Did he tell you she was in town?¡± ¡°No, he didn¡¯t say a word,¡± I admitted. ¡°She probably just dropped by unexpectedly to surprise Jake and Noah.¡± ¡°Well then, you have to go meet her,¡± Melody said. ¡°Aw bless you,¡± I said gratefully. ¡°Thanks for understanding.¡± ¡°You owe me a shopping date.¡± ¡°Definitely,¡± I said. ¡°And I will deliver.¡± ¡°You better.¡± ¡°Wait,¡± I said quickly before Melody could hang up. ¡°What?¡± ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ve never met a boyfriend¡¯s family before,¡± I said. ¡°How do I act?¡± Melodyughed. ¡°You act the way you always do,¡± she said. ¡°Be yourself, and she¡¯s going to love you.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± I said, gulping back my nerves. ¡°Thanks.¡± After I hung up, I headed toward my wardrobe and looked around for something to wear. I finally decided on jeans and a simple blouse. I kept my hair loose around my shoulders and added just the faintest touch of blush, mascara, and lip gloss before heading over to Jake¡¯s apartment. I stopped by one of the city¡¯s best bakeries on my way and picked up a tray of breakfast treats I knew Noah would love. When I got to the apartment, I took a deep breath and knocked twice. A few secondster, the door swung open and Jake was standing there smiling at me. ¡°Hey, you¡¯re here.¡± ¡°And I bring gifts,¡± I said, passing over the box of pastries. ¡°Hey, Noah and I love this ce.¡± ¡°I¡¯m d,¡± I said, and then I looked around for his aunt. ¡°So where¡¯s Aunt Margo?¡± ¡°Aunt Margo?¡± Jake asked, in obvious confusion. ¡°Yes,¡± I nodded. ¡°In your message this morning, you said there was someone you wanted me to meet.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± he said, understanding. ¡°There is someone I want you to meet. But it¡¯s not my aunt.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I said, wrinkling my brows together. ¡°Then who is it?¡± Before Jake could answer, Noah came running through from his bedroom. ¡°Krissy!¡± he yelled, sounding delighted. ¡°You¡¯re here!¡± ¡°Hi, buddy,¡± I said, bending down so that I could hug him. ¡°Slept well?¡± ¡°Uh-huh,¡± he nodded. ¡°Guess what?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Grandma¡¯s here.¡± I frowned. ¡°Grandma?¡± I repeated, recalling that Jake had told me his mother had passed away some years back. ¡°Yes,¡± Jake nodded. ¡°My mother-inw is here. Daphne¡¯s mother.¡± I felt my body grow cold as I realized what he was saying. Isabelle was here, and she knew exactly who I was. How could this have happened before I could tell Jake? How could I let this have happened? ¡°Grandma!¡± Noah called. A few secondster, I heard footsteps, and then Isabelle emerged. It had been years since I¡¯dst seen her. She was still the same graceful woman I had met back then. Her hair was only just starting to gray at the edges, and her eyes were still as blue as ever. Her eyesnded on me, and she stopped short as her expression turned from oblivion to shock. ¡°Kristen?¡± she said, staring at me as though she had seen a ghost. The smile on Jake¡¯s face grew subdued as he looked between us. ¡°Wait¡­do you two know each other?¡± I tried to reply, but my throat had gone dry, and I couldn¡¯t form the words. Realization slowly began to dawn on Isabelle¡¯s face, and I saw her gain herposure back. ¡°This is all very strange,¡± she said. ¡°What is strange?¡± Jake asked, and I could sense he was getting a little on edge. ¡°When I heard the name Kristen, I did think it was a strange coincidence,¡± Isabelle said, looking towards me. ¡°And there was the call, too¡­ But I didn¡¯t think about you at all, Kristen.¡± ¡°Grandma can we make cookies with Krissy?¡± he asked, pulling on her hand at the same time that he reached out for me. Isabelle looked at him distractedly, but Jake stepped in. ¡°Buddy, can you go to your room and organize your toys for a few minutes, please?¡± Noah¡¯s face fell immediately. ¡°But¡­ I wanna stay with Grandma and Krissy¡­ I wanna make cookies.¡± ¡°Sort out your toys first,¡± Jake said, as he nced at my guilt-stricken face. ¡°And then we can start, okay?¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Noah said, sounding impatient. He headed off to his room, and I stood there, silent and terrified, knowing that the house I had built was about toe tumbling down around me. The moment Noah was gone, Jake turned to me, and the smile had disappeared from his face. ¡°Why are you so pale?¡± I gulped, but I couldn¡¯t find it in me to say anything, so Jake turned to Isabelle, who was now looking supremely ufortable. ¡°Isabelle?¡± She looked towards me for a second. ¡°I¡­ I met Kristen years ago,¡± she said shakily. And I knew immediately that having realized that Jake didn¡¯t know who I was, she didn¡¯t want to sell me out. I knew this was the moment I needed to stop being a coward. I needed toe clean, no matter how hard it was for me. ¡°I knew Daphne,¡± I blurted out. Jake turned to me slowly. ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°I¡­ I knew Daphne.¡±Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. ¡°How?¡± Jake asked, as his eyes went wide with disbelief. ¡°Because we¡¯re rted¡­ I¡¯m her half-sister,¡± I said. Jake just stared at me for a few moments. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­ I don¡¯t think I heard you correctly.¡± ¡°It¡¯s true,¡± Isabelle said gently. ¡°She is Daphne¡¯s half-sister.¡± Jake looked between the two of us, and I could see his mind processing this information. Then he turned to face me, and I could barely look him in the eye for shame. ¡°So when you told me about your no good father who had another family¡± ¡°Daphne was his first child¡­ Isabelle was his wife,¡± I stammered. ¡°And my mother was his¡­¡± ¡°ything?¡± Jake demanded angrily. ¡°I¡­ yes,¡± I said, hanging my head. ¡°Now, Jake,¡± Isabelle said,ing forward. ¡°This isn¡¯t so bad.¡± ¡°I trusted you,¡± he said, ignoring Isabelle and staring daggers at me. ¡°I¡­ I fell for you. You had months to tell me this, and you didn¡¯t.¡± ¡°I meant to tell you,¡± I said pleadingly. ¡°Then why didn¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Because I was scared of how you would react,¡± I said, tripping over my words. ¡°At first you were so different to what I¡¯d imagined, and I didn¡¯t feelfortable telling you who I was, and then after I wasfortable enough to tell you¡­ I just¡­ I was scared of how you would take it.¡± ¡°So you just decided never to tell me?¡± he asked incredulously. ¡°No, of course, I was going to tell you¡± ¡°When?¡± he demanded. ¡°Before or after you¡¯d trapped me?¡± I deserved his venom, but it still stung nevertheless. I felt tears in my eyes instantly, and I forced myself to push them back. I didn¡¯t want to cry in front of him. It was weak and pathetic, and it was asking for sympathy when really, truly I felt I deserved none. ¡°Jake,¡± I said, taking a step towards him. ¡°I care about you so¡± ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± he interrupted, turning away from me. ¡°Just go.¡± ¡°I said go!¡± he said, in a voice that was harsh and cold and very simr to the man he had been before he had gotten involved with me. ¡°Jake,¡± Isabelle said, stepping in. ¡°Maybe you should just hear her out.¡± My heart swelled with gratitude for Isabelle, and I marveled at how incredibly gracious a woman she was, especially after all she had suffered at my mother¡¯s hands. That she could stand there, knowing I had effectively stepped into the space her daughter had filled and not hated me was mind-boggling to me. I had never met a woman with that much grace andposure. ¡°I don¡¯t think she meant to hurt anyone,¡± Isabelle said. Jake just turned to her and red until she backed down. Then he turned back to me. ¡°Get out.¡± I rushed towards the door just as I heard a little voice call out my name. ¡°Krissy?¡± Noah called. ¡°Where are you going?¡± His little cherub face was slightly distressed, and I guessed that he had heard part of the exchange between his father and me. I forced on a brave face and smiled at him. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, sweetheart,¡± I said, proud of the fact that my voice didn¡¯t shake. ¡°I have to go.¡± ¡°But¡­cookies?¡± ¡°Another time, okay?¡± I said, knowing that there would probably never be another time. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I have to go.¡± ¡°Hug First,¡± Noah said, stretching out to me. I hugged him tightly, kissed him on the cheek, and then headed straight toward the door without looking back. I was almost at the elevator when I heard Isabelle¡¯s voice calling out my name. Feeling the tears slip from my eyes I turned. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Isabelle,¡± I said. ¡°I never meant to cause any trouble and I certainly didn¡¯t mean to take Daphne¡¯s ce.¡± ¡°I never thought you did,¡± she replied. ¡°Can I ask you one question though, please?¡± I asked, rubbing the tears from my eyes. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°You mentioned a call inside; what did you mean by that?¡± ¡°I got this call from another woman a few days ago,¡± Isabelle said. ¡°She told me that I needed to visit my son-inw and my grandson. There was a woman in their lives that I needed to meet. I suppose that¡¯s what brought me here.¡± I stared at her for a moment. ¡°Do you know who it might have been?¡± she asked. ¡°I know exactly who it was,¡± I said, trying to contain my hurt and anger. ¡°It was my mother.¡± Episode Thirty-Eight Jake¡¯s [POV] I stared down at Noah, watching his eyelids flutter slightly in sleep. He had been a handful all day, mostly because he wanted to spend time with Kristen and I had to keep making excuses. ¡°I want to make cookies with Krissy,¡± he had insisted. ¡°You made cookies with Grandma yesterday,¡± I had pointed out, feeling a headacheing on. ¡°Krissy makes them different,¡± Noah persisted. ¡°They taste better.¡± ¡°No, they don¡¯t.¡± ¡°Yes, they do.¡± ¡°No, they don¡¯t,¡± I said, aware that I was arguing with a four-year-old that I couldn¡¯t possibly win. I had heard Noah keep this up for a steady fifteen minutes before, and I usually burned out after two minutes. ¡°Yes, they do.¡± I sighed tiredly and held my head for a moment. ¡°Krissy is busy, kid,¡± I said. ¡°She¡¯s not going to be around for a while.¡± At which point Noah had thrown a full-blown temper tantrum. I had tried everything to calm him down, but nothing worked. In the end, he had simply tired himself out. Then he huffed into his room and stayed there until he had fallen asleep. Which is exactly how I¡¯d found him when I¡¯d walked in two minutes ago. I sighed and kissed his forehead, wondering how on earth I was going to exin Kristen¡¯s continuing absence. I was having a hard enough time exining it to myself. Right after Kristen had left, I stormed off to my room, leaving Noah with Isabelle. When I¡¯d finally emerged, Isabelle had insisted on talking to me, but I hadn¡¯t been in the mood. Now I wished I had. Now that my mind had had time to process the news, I had questions. I knew what Kristen had told me about her parents and the affair her father had continued with her mother for decades, but I knew very little else. I remembered her mentioning a half-sister to me, but it hadn¡¯t even crossed my mind that it might be Daphne. Those kinds of coincidences didn¡¯t happen in real life. Except it wasn¡¯t a coincidence at all¡­ Kristen had nned this somehow. I didn¡¯t know her purpose, but now I wanted to. I couldn¡¯t believe I had been so blind. She looked so much like Daphne that now I felt stupid for not having seen it sooner. I looked back on the past few months and thought about everything Kristen and I had shared. I couldn¡¯t believe that she hadn¡¯t told me. It was a pretty big secret to keep, and she hadn¡¯t even given me a clue. I walked out of Noah¡¯s room and headed to mine. I was sitting on the edge of my bed as I dialed Isabelle¡¯s number and waited for her to answer. ¡°Jake?¡± she answered almost immediately. ¡°Tell me what happened,¡± I said bluntly. ¡°Jake¡­ I think perhaps you should talk to Kristen.¡± ¡°She¡¯d probably just lie to me.¡± Isabelle sighed. ¡°You seem to care about her very much.¡± ¡°Not anymore.¡± ¡°That sounds like a lie you¡¯re telling yourself at the moment.¡± ¡°Isabelle,¡± I said impatiently. ¡°Please, just tell me what happened¡­ Did Daphne even know about Kristen?¡± ¡°She did,¡± Isabelle told me. ¡°They had a rtionship for a short while.¡± ¡°They did?¡± I said, in disbelief. ¡°After we found out that Ted had another child and¡­a mistress¡­it took a while to process that, but once we did, Daphne was curious. So when Kristen contacted her¡± ¡°Kristen contacted her?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± Isabelle replied. ¡°She wanted to meet.¡± ¡°Daphne agreed?¡± ¡°She didn¡¯t at first, but I think her curiosity won out,¡± Isabelle said. ¡°Their first meeting was rocky. Daphne came home upset and angry, but she wasn¡¯t angry with Kristen just the situation and her father.¡± ¡°Why did Kristen want to meet Daphne?¡± ¡°That is a question you¡¯ll have to ask Kristen, Jake,¡± Isabelle said gently. ¡°I can¡¯t answer that for you. I can tell you that Daphne liked Kristen very much and for a while there, she felt she had a sister.¡± ¡°But something changed,¡± I pointed out. ¡°Because she never mentioned Kristen to me-ever.¡± ¡°No¡­¡± Isabelle sighed. ¡°Discovering her father¡¯s betrayal hurt her far more than it hurt me. She changed slightly with time, and she became¡­harder somehow. Her desire to join the military was a split-second decision that she made on a whim. I think for her it was a form of escapism. She just wanted to leave behind that part of her life and start anew somewhere else.¡± I gulped back my hurt as I realized I had never asked her why she had enlisted, and she had never volunteered the story. Was it possible that my whole marriage had been a lie, too? If Daphne had not told me this huge chunk of her life, what else had she kept from me? Was I just another form of escapism? Was she just trying to rece the family she had lost with me? ¡°She loved you, Jake,¡± Isabelle said, as though she knew what I was thinking. ¡°She loved you so much.¡± ¡°Just not enough to tell me the truth about her life.¡± ¡°You knew she had nothing more to do with her father.¡± ¡°But not that he had another woman and child secreted away somewhere¡­ Why wouldn¡¯t she tell me that?¡± I demanded. ¡°Because she wanted to put that behind her. She didn¡¯t want to have to talk about it all the time,¡± Isabelle said. ¡°That¡¯s not an excuse, and I happen to believe it was the wrong decision. But she decided to make it, and I had no choice but to go along with it. I was just happy she had found someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.¡± ¡°Only it turned out the rest of her life wasn¡¯t going to be very long,¡± I snapped unnecessarily. Isabelle fell silent, and I felt terrible instantly. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said. ¡°That was uncalled for.¡± ¡°You¡¯re hurting right now,¡± she said gently. ¡°I understand.¡± ¡°I wish I could say the same,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m just so¡­confused right now.¡± ¡°Talk to Kristen, Jake,¡± Isabelle advised me. ¡°She¡¯s the only one that can give you the closure you need.¡± ¡°She¡¯s your husband¡¯s love child,¡± I said. ¡°How is it that you¡¯re not pissed at her, too?¡± Isabelle paused for a moment. ¡°Because she was innocent in all this. It¡¯s not fair to me her for what her parents did. That was on them, not her. When she found out, she made it a point to track me down and tell me the truth.¡± ¡°She told you?¡± I asked incredulously. ¡°She did,¡± Isabelle said. ¡°And, I appreciated that more than I can say. Because she told me the truth, I was finally able to end my marriage without ever looking back. In a way, she freed me. I met her once more after that with Daphne, and she was just a sad, lonely kid who had tried to do the right thing. She had a mother who had neglected her, a father who didn¡¯t care about her, and no one else in her life. I felt her for¡­and I still do.¡± I shook my head. ¡°I just can¡¯t get over what she did.¡± ¡°Ask her why she did it,¡± Isabelle suggested. ¡°Because whether or not you get back together, you¡¯ll want to know.¡± ¡°And you don¡¯t care that I was with Daphne¡¯s sister?¡± ¡°I want you to be happy,¡± Isabelle said. ¡°I want Noah to be happy. And before you found out about all this, I saw that you and Noah were both in a good ce. I had to believe that had something to do with Kristen.¡± After I hung up with Isabelle, I scrolled down to Kristen¡¯s name. With my finger poised over the call button, I wasn¡¯t sure if I should hit it or not. In the end, my need for closure won out, and I waited for her to pick up. ¡°Jake?¡± Kristen¡¯s voice sounded breathless. ¡°I have questions for you,¡± I managed to say. ¡°I¡¯m so, so sorry¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to hear your apologies,¡± I said harshly. ¡°I just called because I want to know why you did what you did and what happened between you and Daphne.¡± She paused for a moment, and I could hear her breathing slowly. ¡°Okay; ask me anything.¡± ¡°Why weren¡¯t you at her funeral?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t find out she had died until after she¡¯d been buried,¡± Kristen replied. ¡°Because you¡¯d stopped talking to her at this point?¡± ¡°Well, it was more like she stopped talking to me.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Our rtionship was fragile, to begin with,¡± Kristen exined softly. ¡°I was her father¡¯s illegitimate child. More importantly, I was the direct result of the affair he had had with my mother. After Isabelle divorced him, he moved in with my mother and me. It caused problems between Daphne and me. She startedshing out at me because she couldn¡¯tsh out at her father. ¡°And then it got worse, and I realized how unhappy and dissatisfied she was. When she told me she was thinking about enlisting, I got upset. I told her she was just running away from her problems, instead of facing them. I told her she needed to stand up to Ted so that she could move on. Enlisting was just the coward¡¯s way out. It wasn¡¯t my finest moment, and I regret a lot of what I said to her that day¡­ But it was the final straw for her, I suppose.N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. ¡°She said things to me and then stormed off. After that, I didn¡¯t hear from her again¡­until the letter.¡± ¡°The letter?¡± I repeated. ¡°What letter?¡± ¡°I received a letter from Daphne some time back,¡± Kristen replied. ¡°It was only when I called the number she had left that I found out she had died. She had sent the letter from Afghanistan, you see, and it had been dyed in reaching me. By the time I got it, she had already been buried a month.¡± ¡°What did the letter say?¡± I asked with bated breath. ¡°I¡­ It¡¯s personal¡± Immediately, my temper red up, and I bit back. ¡°Personal?¡± I said. ¡°I think we¡¯re past that point now, don¡¯t you, Kristen?¡± ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant, Jake.¡± ¡°You know what?¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t care. I don¡¯t want to see you ever again; do you hear me?¡± ¡°Jake¡± ¡°I¡¯m giving you a two-month severance package,¡± I interrupted. ¡°So you don¡¯t have to show up to work on Monday.¡± ¡°What?¡± she gasped. ¡°You¡¯re firing me?¡± ¡°Just take the severance package.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t buy me off,¡± she said as her voice turned into a fighting tone. ¡°You can¡¯t just ignore the months we spent together.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll certainly try.¡± ¡°Jake, you can¡¯t keep doing this.¡± ¡°Doing what?¡± I demanded. ¡°Throwing tantrums when things don¡¯t go your way.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± I said, livid at her tone and self-righteousness. ¡°But I believe you¡¯re the one in the wrong here. So any tantrums I might throw arepletely justified.¡± ¡°I know what I did was wrong¡± ¡°You don¡¯t,¡± I cut in. ¡°Now I suggest you take the package and get out of my life. And if you want to sue me for wrongful termination, then go ahead.¡± With that, I hung up and threw my phone across the bed. When I heard it ring again a secondter, I knew it was Kristen, but I was done talking. She had made a choice, and now I had made my decision. Episode Thirty-Nine Kristen¡¯s [POV] I didn¡¯t know what to do. My head was in chaos, and the worst part of it was that I didn¡¯t know how to make anything better. I had heard the hurt in Jake¡¯s voice when he had called me earlier it had dripped with anger, and the sting of betrayal, and I knew that I deserved his outrage. Instead of trying to show him that I was truly sorry, however, I had misspoken and made him even angrier. To make matters worse, he had essentially fired me, which meant I couldn¡¯t even get through to him at work. I had a feeling that showing up at the office would be a bad idea, so I wasn¡¯t even going to attempt it. Which left me with no options. My mind reeled back over thest morning when Isabelle had walked into Jake¡¯s living room ande face to face with me. I still got goosebumps when I thought of it. But the memory I reyed most often was when Isabelle had caught up with me in front of the elevators. My mother and I had always had a rocky rtionship, which had only worsened in my teenage years. But regardless, I never thought she stoops this low. I never thought she¡¯d try to sabotage me in this way, and I had to juggle my guilt with my hurt. I paced across my living room, ignoring calls from Melody because I wasn¡¯t ready to rte the whole story just yet. But I did want to scream and yell and rant, and the only person I wanted to aim that anger at was the person who had set this whole thing in motion. I didn¡¯t even stop to convince myself against calling her. I dialed her number fast and waited to hear her voice. ¡°Hello, Kristen,¡± Mom said, soundingpletely unaffected. ¡°How could you?¡± I demanded. ¡°How could I what?¡± she asked innocently. I marveled at her tone and her acting ability. ¡°You¡¯re kidding, right?¡± I spat. ¡°You know exactly what you did.¡± ¡°Have you just called to yell at me, Kristen? Because I would.¡± ¡°You called Isabelle,¡± I interrupted. ¡°You told her about me.¡± ¡°She came into town, did she?¡± Mom asked casually, as though my anger barely fazed her. ¡°How could you do this to me?¡± I demanded shakily. ¡°I was trying to help you,¡± she had the gall to say. ¡°Are you high?¡± ¡°You were being dishonest.¡± ¡°That¡¯s riching from you,¡± I said. ¡°Isn¡¯t that a little like the pot calling the kettle ck?¡± ¡°I never imed to be the Good Samaritan that you did.¡± ¡°You are unbelievable.¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m trying to make a point,¡± she said coldly. ¡°Not everything is cut and dry, Kristen. Not everything is as easy as you make it seem. Sometimes things are moreplicated than an outsider might judge. You should have told Jake the truth from the beginning, but you didn¡¯t.¡± ¡°I had my reasons.¡± ¡°And, I had mine.¡± ¡°Oh, I get it,¡± I said, with frustration. ¡°So, as usual, this is all about you.¡± ¡°It¡¯s about growing up and facing harsh realities,¡± she continued calmly. ¡°I didn¡¯t tell Isabelle anything about you. I only mentioned that she should visit her grandson.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure that¡¯s not all you said.¡± ¡°Does it matter now?¡± I felt tears of anger prick at the back of my eyes. ¡°How can you be so cruel?¡± ¡°As I recall, you did the same thing to me a few years ago,¡± Mom said. ¡°Do you remember? You tracked down Isabelle and told her about your father and me.¡± I was silent for a second as tears slipped free from my eyes. ¡°I see,¡± I said softly. ¡°So this was your revenge.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not healthy for you to be there, Kristen,¡± Mom said. ¡°Believe it or not, I had your best interests at heart. You need toe home and stop chasing after Daphne¡¯s life.¡± ¡°My decision to move here was not about that, at all,¡± I said. ¡°I never intended to take Daphne¡¯s ce. I came here to help¡­and things happened. I fell in love with Jake.¡± ¡°You fell in love with him?¡± she interrupted. I sighed. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Does he know that?¡± ¡°He did,¡± I said. ¡°But now it doesn¡¯t matter because he never wants to see me ever again.¡± Mom was silent for a moment, so I seized the opportunity and started talking. ¡°Listen¡­ I know I was in the wrong here. I¡¯m not going to say I didn¡¯t make mistakes. I screwed up royally, and in a way, this was my fault. I know that. Despite what you may believe, I was going to tell him the truth; I just needed to do it at the right time. ¡°Jake has been through so much, and he was just starting to be okay again. And now this happened, and he¡¯s hurting all over again, and for what? So that you could teach me a lesson? So that you could prove your point? You don¡¯t get it, do you? These are other people¡¯s l if you¡¯re ying with it. You yed with Isabelle¡¯s and Daphne¡¯s life, and now you¡¯re ying with mine and Jake¡¯s. ¡°I am to me¡­ I wasn¡¯t upfront with Jake, and that¡¯s on me. But my intention was honestly to help him and his son. And that¡¯s the difference between us.¡± After my little speech, Mom was quiet for so long that I thought she¡¯d gotten cut off. ¡°Hello?¡± I said. ¡°Are you still there?¡± ¡°I¡¯m still here,¡± she said quietly. ¡°You know, you were the only real parent I had growing up,¡± I said. ¡°And because of that rtionship, I thought that we¡¯d always be in each other¡¯s lives. But I¡¯ve just realized something. We don¡¯t have to be in each other¡¯s lives. Because this rtionship is not working, Mom; I don¡¯t think it ever really worked.¡± ¡°Wait,¡± she said quickly, and I heard the panic in her voice. ¡°Kristen¡­don¡¯t go.¡± ¡°Why shouldn¡¯t I go?¡± I asked. ¡°Because¡­ I¡¯m your mother,¡± she said, but her voice fell t at the end of the sentence. ¡°Really?¡± I said. ¡°Because you never acted like my mother¡­ Maybe because you didn¡¯t want to be my mother in the first ce.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not true.¡± ¡°No?¡± I said. ¡°Then why did you always act like I was just an inconvenience to you?¡± ¡°I was not ready to have children,¡± she said, atst. ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean I didn¡¯t want to be your mother.¡± I sighed deeply and just like that, all the fight went right out of me. ¡°I¡¯m so tired of fighting you, Mom,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m tired of the arguments and the tension and the stress of being around you.¡± ¡°Which was exactly why you ran after perfect Isabelle and her perfect daughter, isn¡¯t it?¡± she said, taking me off guard with her tone. ¡°What?¡± ¡°I was never good enough for you,¡± Mom continued. ¡°And when you found out about Isabelle, you just had to be a part of their family. And then you decided to have a rtionship with that girl and talk about how wonderful she was and what a saint her mother was.¡± ¡°You¡¯re jealous?¡± I realized with a shock. ¡°They¡¯re not your family, Kristen,¡± she said, refusing to answer my question. ¡°I¡¯m your family.¡± ¡°Family is who you choose, Mom,¡± I said firmly. ¡°And you don¡¯t choose me, is that it?¡± I sighed. ¡°You will always be my mother,¡± I said, atst. ¡°But we have to face the fact that we¡¯re two very different people and we may never see eye to eye. I¡¯m never going to be the most important thing in your world, and I¡¯m never going to approve of all your choices. That¡¯s just¡­the way it is.¡± ¡°Are you ever going to ept my rtionship with your father?¡± she asked. ¡°At least now that there¡¯s no other woman in the picture?¡± I frowned. ¡°How do you know?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°How do you know you¡¯re the only woman in the picture, Mom?¡± I asked. ¡°I¡¯m not trying to be cruel; I¡¯m honestly curious. If Ted could cheat on his wife for years, then what makes you think he¡¯s not going to do the same to you?¡± ¡°Because Ted and I¡­ We¡¯re soul mates, Kristen.¡± I sighed. ¡°If that were true, he would have left Isabelle for you a long time ago. Isabelle divorced him years ago, and he still hasn¡¯t married you.¡± ¡°Neither one of us wants to get married.¡± ¡°I¡¯m d,¡± I said. ¡°I honestly think that¡¯s the smartest decision you¡¯ve made so far¡­not that you¡¯ll agree with my reasoning, but still.¡± ¡°I wish you¡¯d give your father a chance.¡± ¡°He¡¯s my father in name only,¡± I said harshly. ¡°And he always will be. I¡¯m never going to want to have a rtionship with him.¡± ¡°Kristen¡± ¡°I have to go now,¡± I said, cutting her off. ¡°Wait¡± ¡°Mom,¡± I said firmly. ¡°Please, just leave things as they are, okay? I¡¯m noting home. And, I¡¯m also done letting you control my life. I¡¯m happy here, and I¡¯m staying.¡± ¡°Are you going to stop talking to me now?¡± ¡°No,¡± I said, after a small pause. ¡°I may not pick up every time, but I will still keep in touch with you.¡± ¡°You promise?¡± ¡°I promise,¡± I agreed. ¡°I suppose that¡¯s something.¡± ¡°Goodbye.¡± ¡°Kristen?¡± I suppressed a sigh. ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­for butting into your life and ruining things between you and Jake.¡± It was the first apology I¡¯d ever gotten from her, and it made me feel a little lighter. ¡°I¡­ Thank you,¡± I said, deciding to be gracious. ¡°I hope he gives you a second chance.¡± ¡°Goodbye, Mom,¡± I said. I stood in my apartment, staring at my phone for a minute. It wasn¡¯t by any means a transformative conversation, but it left me with a strange sense of ease that could onlye with enlightenment. Mom and I hade to an understanding. We were not going to get along, but we would always try to stay in touch, even if it was only to touch base. It was by no means a perfect situation, but under the circumstances, it was the best-case scenario. I walked to my room and opened my desk drawer. I pulled out the letter that had brought me to San Diego and gave it a read for the hundredth time in months. I practically had it memorized, but I still needed to see Daphne¡¯s words from time to time. It was a reminder, as well as a shield of armor, a paper shield to be sure, but a shield nheless. Still, I didn¡¯t want to cause any more damage. Jake was hurting enough, and if I pushed, then I would end up hurting Noah, as well. If Jake wanted space, then that was exactly what I would give him. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I whispered to no one in particr.Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡± Episode Forty Jake¡¯s [POV] It was a beautiful day, and I thought about how ironic life could be sometimes. The sad days were most often the most beautiful ones. I drove through the pristine drive, passing the gentle slopes on either side of me, which boasted a variety of different headstones in an array of different shapes and sizes. I could see a funeral procession on the other side of the cemetery, and it made me feel even lonelier. I parked the car and stepped down. Noah had wanted toe with me, but that was only because he thought I was making an ice cream run and he wanted to be there to pick the vors. I knew that one day he would ask to see his mother¡¯s grave, and I would need to bring him here, but today I just needed to be here alone. I wanted to talk to Daphne; I wanted to ask her questions that I knew I would never get the answers to. ¡°Say hi to her for me,¡± Isabelle had said, just before I left. ¡°And, tell her I love her.¡± ¡°I will,¡± I replied. Just before I was about to leave, Isabelle grabbed my hand. ¡°Jake¡­she loved you; you know that, don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°I wish I did know that for sure,¡± I had replied. ¡°But with all these new revtions, I can¡¯t imagine she loved me as much as she imed¡­especially towards the end.¡± ¡°She was scared and broken, Jake,¡± Isabelle had defended her daughter. ¡°She didn¡¯t know how to process the feelings she was experiencing. She felt so guilty all the time.¡± ¡°You seem to know more about where she was at than I did,¡± I had pointed out. ¡°And that says something about our rtionship.¡± ¡°She didn¡¯t tell me any of this, Jake,¡± Isabelle had said gently. ¡°I could tell¡­ she didn¡¯t need to say anything because all I had to do was look at her to know how she was feeling.¡± The whole drive to the cemetery, I had thought about Isabelle¡¯s words. Maybe I was trying to push me on Daphne because it was easier for me to me someone else than to take responsibility for all the things I refused to see. I walked up the sloping hills toward the east end of the cemetery where all therge oak trees stood. As I walked, I looked around at the gravestones, I was passing by. Most of them were men and women who had lived long, full lives and left behind children and grandchildren. But asionally, I woulde across a gravestone with nothing more than a name and a date. There was a young woman who had passed away at twenty-two and a man who had been only neen. As I came up upon Daphne¡¯s grave, I heard the sound of a hushed voice talking softly. Frowning, I walked closer taking cover behind one of the oaks so that I wouldn¡¯t be seen. I peeked around it and felt a jolt of surprise when I saw Kristen sitting in front of Daphne¡¯s headstone. She was wearing a long dress in soft colors. Her auburn hair was loose and fluttered lightly around her shoulders. She looked like a fallen angel, and I felt a pang as I realized how much I¡¯d missed her. I thought about heading back to my car and waiting till she had left, but curiosity kept me where I was. I leaned in a little closer, and her words became more audible to me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Daphne,¡± Kristen was saying, and I realized that there were tears on her face. ¡°I know you asked me to help, but I just made a bigger mess of things. I came here to see how Jake and Noah were doing, but¡­something about Jake scared me a little, and I just never told him who I was. ¡°And then everything got out of my control, and I couldn¡¯t think straight after that. I should have done better, for your sake. I should have tried harder. I¡¯m so sorry for how everything happened¡­ It¡¯s such a waste, of your life and Jake¡¯s. ¡°He¡¯s such a good man; he¡¯s kind and brave, but he¡¯s broken too, just like you said. And, I suppose I thought I could put him back together again. It was a naive belief, and it was stupid of me to think I could do it, but I got caught up in the moment.¡± Kristen sighed deeply, and I heard a light sob escape her. ¡°If I¡¯m beingpletely honest¡­ I got caught up in him.¡± Her voice shook, and I felt my body tense in response. ¡°I fell in love with him, Daphne. I shouldn¡¯t have¡­but it happened, and I was powerless. I still am. I still love him. I love Noah, too. They¡¯re both such amazing human beings, and I¡¯m so sorry that I made their lives worse. I let them down, and I let you down, too. ¡°It¡¯s funny, you know¡­ We didn¡¯t know each other at all, and yet, I still feel that connection with you-even now.¡± Her voice was heartfelt and devastated, and I felt my anger fade suddenly, as though the sight of her after so long had made me realize that my love for her was stronger than my hurt and anger. I had never really given her a chance to exin, and it looked like there was more to the story than she had let on. I stepped around the tree and walked slowly up to her. She saw meing and looked up with a start. ¡°Jake,¡± she whispered my name. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I asked, trying to keep my tone even. ¡°I¡­ Today¡¯s Daphne¡¯s death anniversary.¡± ¡°I¡¯m aware of that.¡± ¡°I wanted¡­ I mean, I needed to speak to her,¡± Kristen said. She rose slowly to her feet and nced back at Daphne¡¯s grave. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ I¡¯ll give you some privacy.¡± ¡°Wait,¡± I said, blocking her path. Kristen looked up at me, and her eyes were bright with tears. ¡°Did you have any contact with Daphne before she died?¡± I asked. ¡°After she had married me?¡± ¡°No,¡± Kristen said. ¡°We had no contact after she told me she was enlisting. The onlymunication was the letter she sent me, the one I told you about. And by the time I received it, she was already gone.¡± ¡°I see¡­¡± ¡°Jake,¡± she said, taking a tentative step forward. ¡°I have something with me that I think you should see.¡± She handed me a thin piece of paper, and I recognized Daphne¡¯s handwriting immediately. ¡°This is the letter she sent you?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I nced at the date without touching the paper. ¡°She wrote this four months before she died.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I felt my heart jump a little at the thought, but I wasn¡¯t even sure why. I reached out tentatively and took the letter from Kristen¡¯s hands. I could almost imagine Daphne sitting down in her bunk to write it. I wondered what her headspace was at the time¡­ I wondered if, on some intrinsic level, she knew that she was never going to see her son or me again. ¡°Read it,¡± Kristen encouraged. ¡°It might help you.¡± I looked down and started to read the letter slowly. Dear Kristen, I wasn¡¯t quite sure how to start this letter. I think I¡¯ve started it three different times in thest hour. I think it¡¯s because I¡¯m ashamed of how I reacted thest time we met. You called me a coward when I told you I was enlisting. You imed that I was running from my life and my problems. At the time I was insulted and hurt, and I didn¡¯t see the truth in your words. But now it¡¯s different. I have a husband now, Kristen. My husband¡¯s name is Jake, and my son¡¯s name is Noah. I fell in love with my husband while we were both on tours of duty and the n was to wait until our thirties to start a family. But, as usual, ns didn¡¯t work out as I had thought. I got pregnant with Noah and¡­ I didn¡¯t know how to process that. My body wasn¡¯t mine anymore, and some days, it felt like my life wasn¡¯t mine, either. Please don¡¯t misunderstand me. I love my husband, and I love my son¡­ But I wasn¡¯t ready to be a mother. Sometimes I don¡¯t think I was even ready to be a wife. And I suppose that was what scared me, and that was what drove me to run away¡­again. It took another tour of duty to make me realize that you were right all this time. I was¡­ I am a coward. Whenever I get scared, I leave. I was thinking about Jake and Noah the other night and then thatst conversation that we had popped into my head. I realized that I was wrong to push you away. You were as much a victim in all this as I was. You had no control over your parents¡¯ actions, and I was wrong to me you for it. I suppose I just needed to me someone, and you were right in front of me. I don¡¯t know why I¡¯m writing this letter, to be honest¡­ I think it¡¯s my pathetic attempt at an apology. I think it¡¯s also my way of saying I want you to be a part of my life. We are sisters, and I don¡¯t think I appreciated that fact until now. I¡¯m starting to feel better. I¡¯m starting to think going home is not going to be so bad. But some days¡­ I feel the exact opposite. I¡¯m still lost, Kristen. I¡¯m still confused, and I don¡¯t know when that will change.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. I suppose that¡¯s the other reason I¡¯m writing. I think I just want to know that Noah and Jake will have family, whether I¡¯m around or not. I want to know that they¡¯ll be okay. Thest time we met, I said some things to you that I shouldn¡¯t have. I was wrong, and I¡¯m sorry. I want you to know that. I¡¯m sorry. I hope your life is everything you want it to be. I hope you¡¯re happy and safe and healthy, and most of all, I hope you have love. Love, Daphne I folded the letter slowly and handed it back to Kristen. ¡°Thank you for letting me read that,¡± I said. ¡°Of course,¡± she nodded. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t give it to you sooner. I should have.¡± I closed my eyes for a moment. ¡°She wasn¡¯t sure if she wasing back,¡± I whispered, ncing at her gravestone. ¡°She would havee back,¡± Kristen said confidently. ¡°How do you know?¡± ¡°I just do.¡± I smiled. ¡°You just do, huh?¡± I asked. ¡°Is that a sister thing?¡± ¡°It might be.¡± ¡°Is that why you came to San Diego?¡± I asked. ¡°That¡¯s the main reason I came here,¡± she nodded. ¡°But I also came here for myself. It was time for me to start my adventure, and that choice led me to you.¡± ¡°Kristen¡± She stepped in and silenced me. I noticed that there were still tears dotting her eyes. ¡°Jake, I never meant to hurt you,¡± she said. ¡°Please believe that. I care about you and Noah so much, and I¡¯m so sorry I hurt you. You want me to stay away, and I will respect that, but I just need you to know that I never meant to cause you any pain.¡± ¡°I know that,¡± I said softly. Kristen¡¯s eyes went wide for a moment and then she smiled. ¡°You do?¡± ¡°I do,¡± I replied. ¡°And, I¡­ I don¡¯t want you to stay away.¡± Kristen looked at me with pure joy on her face, and I felt my body lean into hers. I reached out and wiped the tears from her face. ¡°I missed you so much,¡± she whispered to me. ¡°I missed you, too,¡± I said, as I pulled her towards me and encircled her in my arms. ¡°How¡¯s Noah?¡± Kristen asked, as though she¡¯d been waiting months to ask that question. I smiled. ¡°He¡¯ll be thrilled to see you,¡± I said. ¡°Come on; let¡¯s go home.¡± Episode Forty-One Kristen¡¯s [POV] ¡°You went shopping?¡± Melody asked in surprise. I smiled. ¡°I did.¡± ¡°Without me?¡± she asked usingly. I smiled guiltily at her. ¡°I wanted to shop for an hour, and if I¡¯d brought you along, it would have turned into the whole day.¡± ¡°You are such a bitch,¡± sheined. ¡°I don¡¯t even know why I¡¯m friends with you.¡± Iughed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I promise we¡¯ll go shopping after the New Year. I need some new clothes.¡± ¡°I¡¯m d you finally realize that,¡± she nodded. ¡°Now show me the fruits of yourbor.¡± I smiled and pulled out the red dress I had chosen from my closet. I had the satisfaction of seeing Melody¡¯s eyes go wide with appreciation. ¡°Wow¡­not bad for an hour¡¯s worth of shopping,¡± she said. ¡°That¡¯s a va-va-voom kind of dress.¡± I frowned at it. ¡°I¡¯m thinking it might be a little too much,¡± I said. ¡°This is an office party, after all.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a New Year¡¯s Eve office party,¡± Melody reminded me. ¡°That is the perfect dress for the asion. You have my seal of approval.¡± I smiled and nodded. ¡°Well, I do want to impress tonight.¡± ¡°Who exactly do you want to impress?¡± she asked, wagging her eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes in response. ¡°Would you believe, this is one of the first nights in a month that we¡¯re going to be alone together?¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°I guess we¡¯ve just been busy doing things with Noah,¡± I said. ¡°Which I haven¡¯t minded at all. That kid is fun.¡± ¡°Apparently¡­ I have to meet him one day,¡± Melody said. ¡°I¡¯d like that,¡± I nodded. ¡°I¡¯d like you to meet Jake, too.¡± ¡°Are you kidding? I would love that,¡± she said instantly. ¡°I¡¯ve been wanting to meet him for months now.¡± ¡°Soon, then,¡± I promised. ¡°So, how are things between the two of you?¡± ¡°They¡¯ve been going well,¡± I said. ¡°We¡¯ve talked a lot over thest two months, and I don¡¯t think we have any secrets from each other anymore.¡± ¡°I still can¡¯t believe that his wife was your sister,¡± Melody said, shaking her head at me. ¡°It¡¯s like a soap opera.¡± I wrinkled my nose. ¡°Ew.¡± Sheughed. ¡°I better head out ¡­ I have my own New Year¡¯s ns.¡± ¡°Right,¡± I nodded, as I walked her to the door. The moment she had left, I had a quick shower and then blew out my hair until it was glossy, shiny, and curling slightly at the tips. Then I applied some foundation, added a hint of blush, and opted for a dark and sultry smoky eye. Lastly, I added lipstick, and then I slipped on my red dress. It was a strapless embellished mini that hugged my body. Then I slipped on my high heels and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked different. The makeup and dress came hither, but it was more than just what I was wearing. I could feel my confidence trante on my face, and I smiled happily back at my reflection. A few minutester, I heard a knock on my door. Frowning, I rushed to answer it, wondering if maybe Melody had forgotten something. ¡°Jake,¡± I said, in surprise as I opened the door to find him standing there in a smart ck suit that made him look like a Versace model. ¡°Wow,¡± he said, looking at me with clear admiration. ¡°You look gorgeous.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± I blushed. ¡°Right back atcha.¡± Jakeughed and then he leaned down to kiss me softly on the lips. Then he produced a long-stemmed red rose from inside his jacket. ¡°Looks like red is the color of the night,¡± he said. ¡°Oh, thank you, Jake,¡± I said, epting the rose. ¡°This is the first rose I¡¯ve ever received.¡± ¡°What?¡± he said, looking shocked. ¡°Are you serious?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I nodded. ¡°None of my previous boyfriends were ever that thoughtful.¡± ¡°Well, no wonder they couldn¡¯t hold on to you,¡± he said as he held out his hand for me. We walked to the car together, and Jake held the door open for me. He was such a gentleman that sometimes I couldn¡¯t believe my luck. ¡°How¡¯s Noah?¡± I asked. Jake smiled. ¡°You saw him this morning.¡± ¡°But I still miss him,¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯ll see him tomorrow,¡± he reminded me. I nodded. ¡°I have a new recipe I want to try out with him,¡± I said. ¡°I think he¡¯ll love it.¡± ¡°If you suggest it, he¡¯ll love it,¡± Jake said. ¡°That boy worships the ground you walk on.¡± As he said it, Jake reached out for my hand and held it the whole way to the office. When we got to the office parking lot, it was almost nine o¡¯clock, and it seemed like the party was in full swing. ¡°Won¡¯t people wonder why we¡¯vee together?¡± I asked, realizing that this was the first time we were going to be in a social setting with the office crowd, including the board of directors. ¡°Of course, they will,¡± Jake said, as we got out of the car. ¡°But it¡¯ll soon be clear to them.¡± ¡°What will?¡± I asked nervously. ¡°That we¡¯re together,¡± he said, slipping his hand into mine just before we hit the entrance to the lobby. ¡°You don¡¯t mind everyone knowing?¡± ¡°I want everyone to know,¡± Jake said. ¡°I love you, and you love me, and that¡¯s something we shouldn¡¯t have to hide.¡± I smiled, feeling a wave of excitement ovee me. I squeezed his hand, and we went up in the elevators to the highest floor where the party was being held. We walked into a crowded room and instantly, I felt everyone¡¯s eyes on both of us. Jake waspletely unfazed, however. He looked like he was in his element as he smiled and waved at people. I was more nervous than he was, but his boldness gave me courage. We had been at the party only fifteen minutes when Jake leaned in and whispered in my ear. ¡°I can see the board across the room. Will you excuse me for a little bit?¡± ¡°Of course,¡± I nodded. The moment Jake left my side, I found myself surrounded by people who wanted the details of my rtionship. Martin, Adide, and Tiffany came up to me instantly. ¡°You and the boss?¡± ¡°You and Jake Middleton!¡± ¡°Oh, my God!¡± ¡°Can¡¯t believe it!¡± ¡°You are so lucky; he¡¯s gorgeous!¡± ¡°And rich.¡± ¡°And, he looks like he¡¯d be great in bed, too.¡± ¡°You and Jake Middleton!¡± ¡°I always suspected.¡± ¡°Me too.¡± Iughed. ¡°Whoa,¡± I said. ¡°Calm down, guys, this is not that shocking.¡± ¡°We had no idea,¡± Tiffany said, shaking her head at me. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you ever let on?¡± ¡°Because for a while there, things didn¡¯t look like they were going to work out,¡± I said honestly. ¡°So there was no point in telling anyone.¡± ¡°Wait,¡± Martin said, raising an eyebrow. ¡°This doesn¡¯t break anypany policies, does it?¡± Iughed. ¡°We¡¯re both consenting adults who are in amitted rtionship,¡± I said. ¡°And, thispany doesn¡¯t have any rules against employees dating one another.¡± ¡°I suppose even if they did, Jake could change them,¡± Adide said, giving me a sly grin. ¡°What¡¯s he like?¡± ¡°How is he in bed?¡± ¡°How much does he earn?¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯t he have a kid?¡± I held up my hands to stop the steady flow of questions. ¡°Whoa, guys¡­let me catch my breath, will you?¡± ¡°Come on,¡± Adide wheedled. ¡°Give us some dirt.¡± ¡°Yes, he does have a son. Noah¡¯s five, and he¡¯s the apple of my eye,¡± I answered. ¡°Jake is aplete gentleman; he¡¯s amazing in bed, and as for how much he earns¡­that¡¯s none of your business. Happy now?¡± ¡°Notpletely,¡± Tiffany said. ¡°Well, I¡¯m afraid you¡¯re going to have to be happy with that because he¡¯s on his way over here.¡± ¡°Fuck,¡± Martin said, and then he made a beeline toward the buffet. ¡°You guys don¡¯t have to leave,¡± I pointed out, but Adide and Tiffany gave me nervous smiles. ¡°Sorry, hon,¡± Adide said. ¡°He¡¯s still our boss and he intimidating to boot.¡± Jake walked up to me and wrapped an arm around my waist. ¡°What happened to your friends?¡± ¡°Turns out you¡¯re intimidating,¡± I joked, remembering that that was exactly how I felt about Jake when I first met him. ¡°Is that right?¡± he asked in amusement. ¡°Should I be ttered?¡± ¡°I would be,¡± I nodded. ¡°So how did the talk with the board go?¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°They¡¯ve agreed to expand the budget a little and distribute the workload,¡± Jake told me. ¡°Which means I¡¯ll have more time for Noah¡­and you.¡± I pped my hands together and kissed him on the cheek. ¡°I¡¯m so d.¡± ¡°This party is kind ofme,¡± Jake said, looking around the room. ¡°What would you rather be doing?¡± I asked teasingly. ¡°Something that requires no clothes¡­with you.¡± Iughed. ¡°Too bad we don¡¯t have any closets here¡­¡± Jake raised an eyebrow. ¡°We don¡¯t have a closet, but we do have the next best thing.¡± With that, he grabbed my hand and dragged me through the hall. The party was loud and buzzing with energy, and while a few people looked in our general direction, they didn¡¯t stay interested for long. ¡°Where are you taking me?¡± I demanded. The hall was tapered at one end, and there was a small space that left off from the main room. Jake pulled me through to a door on the side, opened it, and pushed me through. Once we were both inside, Jake sealed the door shut with what looked like a mop. ¡°Is this the utility closet; the one the janitor uses?¡± I asked. Jakeughed. ¡°Like I said, the next best thing.¡± Before I knew it, his hands were running all over my body, and every protest in my head fell away instantly. All I wanted was to be here with Jake in a small, enclosed space with the sounds of the party echoing around us. I could hear voices,ughter, and music, and it was exhrating to know that there was only a door between us, and all the people we worked with. Jake¡¯s hands felt like fire as they roamed all over me. He pushed up my skirt and pulled down my thong. He squeezed my ass hard, and I moaned without worrying about being heard. The music would drown out our lovemaking. His cock was rock hard as he pushed inside me. We fucked against the back wall, disrupting all the cleaning supplies around us. My body was so titited by the experience that I felt my orgasme on early. But before it could fully form, Jake changed positions by turning me around and taking me from the back. I groaned in ecstasy as he fucked me hard, pulling my hair from the back with one hand as the other hand squeezed my left breast. For the final leg, he turned me around again so that we were face to face. With his lips only inches from mine, he whispered to me while he was still inside me. ¡°I love you, Kristen.¡± ¡°I love you,¡± I whispered back breathlessly, just as I reached climax. Six Months Later Episode Forty-Two Jake¡¯s [POV] ¡°Daddy,¡± Noah called, as he ran into my room. ¡°How do I look?¡± I turned to him and smiled at the outfit he had chosen. He had picked his favorite pair of jeans, a t-shirt with Batman on the front of it, and a little zer-style jacket that I¡¯d bought ages ago knowing he would grow into it. I noticed that he had evenbed his hair. ¡°Wow,¡± I said, nodding in approval. ¡°You look better than I do.¡± ¡°You look like James Bond,¡± Noah said. I gave him a wink. ¡°That was the idea,¡± I nodded. ¡°I have to make sure she can¡¯t say no.¡± ¡°No?¡± he repeated, with a frown. ¡°No to what?¡± ¡°You¡¯ll see,¡± I said cryptically. ¡°What¡¯s the time?¡± ¡°Daddy,¡± he said, sounding annoyed at me. ¡°I can¡¯t tell time.¡± ¡°What?¡± I teased. ¡°You¡¯re off to college next month; you should be able to tell time.¡± ¡°Daddy,¡± Noah said again, giggling slightly. ¡°I¡¯m not going to college.¡± ¡°No?¡± I asked. ¡°You sure?¡± ¡°Uh-huh,¡± he nodded. ¡°I don¡¯t want to go to college.¡± I raised my eyebrows and turned to him. ¡°You don¡¯t?¡± ¡°I want to stay with you forever,¡± he said. I felt my heart expand tenfold at the sound of those words. It was proof that I wasn¡¯t doing such a terrible job at this single-parent thing. Even as I thought it, however, it didn¡¯t feel authentic. Maybe because in thest few months, I hadn¡¯t felt like a single parent anymore. Kristen was always around, and Noah had slowly gotten used to having her spend the night, too. Most weekends, Kristen would stay with us. We would n our weekends with Noah and end up going somece or the other, either to thearium, the zoo, the museums, or the park. Sundays werezy, stay-at-home kind of days. Kristen and Noah would spend half of it in the kitchen experimenting with new recipes they found online. Then we would eat together and y games or tell stories for the rest of the evening. There were a few odd weekdays when Kristen woulde over. She would cook something healthy and hearty and then she¡¯d help Noah with homework before she put him to bed. Our lives had taken on theforting ease of routine, and I loved feeling as though my family wasplete. I had never really experienced that before. Daphne had been so depressed and sad after Noah had been born that the focus had been taken off our new baby. Right afterward, she had enlisted and left overseas, and my journey into single parenthood had begun. It felt like another lifetime ago now. It was funny how when you were going through something it felt both hopeless and endless. But then something happened that changed your perspective and made the hard times dissolve into distant memories that didn¡¯t hurt at all. I still thought about Daphne a lot, but it was no longer painful for me to remember her. Kristen never minded talking about Daphne; in fact, she encouraged it for Noah¡¯s sake, and I was deeply grateful for that. ¡°Daddy?¡± Noah said, cutting into my thoughts. ¡°Come on, let¡¯s go. We¡¯ll bete.¡± ¡°Right,¡± I nodded, spraying myself with a little aftershave before heading out. Noah was practically bouncing around in the backseat. He was so excited at the thought of sitting and eating in a proper grown-up restaurant. ¡°Daddy?¡± ¡°Yeah, bud?¡± ¡°Can I order anything I want?¡± Noah asked. I smiled. ¡°Sure, bud, you can order anything you want.¡± ¡°Even a grown-up meal?¡± My smile grew wider. ¡°I think this particr restaurant doesn¡¯t even have a kid¡¯s menu. So everything on it is grown up.¡± ¡°Wow,¡± Noah said, drawing out the word. Kristen appeared at the door two minutes after we pulled up. She looked spectacr in a lc dress made of wispy chiffon. She wore simple heels, and her hair hung loosely around her shoulders. Her makeup was, as always, understated, but she had chosen dark lipstick that got me a little hot and bothered. ¡°You look amazing,¡± I said when I greeted her outside the car. ¡°Like some hot seductress from my dreams.¡± Kristenughed and kissed me. ¡°Where¡¯s Noah?¡± ¡°I¡¯m here!¡± Noah yelled, having rolled down his window. Laughing, Kristen rushed to him and leaned in for a kiss. ¡°My, don¡¯t you look handsome.¡± ¡°This is the first time I¡¯m wearing this jacket.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fabulous,¡± she said. ¡°No question, you¡¯re going to be the most handsome gent at the restaurant tonight.¡± ¡°Come on you two,¡± I said, breaking up their little catch-up. ¡°We¡¯d better head out.¡± The moment Kristen got into the front seat, Noah started jabbering away. ¡°Daddy says I can order anything on the menu.¡± ¡°Sounds like quite the decision you have to make,¡± Kristen said, sounding impressed. As the two of them spoke, my mind wandered slightly. It was nice to hear their conversation, even if I wasn¡¯t listening. It gave me strength andfort to know that Noah had Kristen now, as well as me. The closer we got to the restaurant, however, the more nervous we became. And when I got nervous, I also tended to get quieter. I tried to keep my cool and remain suave and in control, but my mind was reeling. I had never really done this before. My first proposal had been so different. Instantly, the memory jumped into my head, and I could see it y out as though I were watching a movie about my life. I hadn¡¯t thought about this particr moment in ages, and so it surprised me how vivid it was. Daphne approached me while I was attempting my tenth suicide. I was drenched with sweat and slightly cranky because I was hungry and tired andpletely over my workout. ¡°Hi there.¡± ¡°Hi,¡± I replied grumpily. ¡°Someone¡¯s in a mood.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been doing suicides all day.¡± ¡°What number are you on?¡± ¡°Ten.¡± Daphne rolled her eyes and sat down opposite me. ¡°Please, I did twenty today.¡± ¡°Good for you,¡± I replied sarcastically. Instead of getting annoyed, she justughed. ¡°Man, you¡¯re in a bad mood. Is there anything I can do to help?¡± I sighed and just like that herughter broke my bad mood. ¡°Sorry,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m being an ass; it¡¯s just been a long day.¡± ¡°You¡¯re probably going to have lots more,¡± she pointed out. ¡°Well, as long as you¡¯re around, my moods won¡¯tst.¡± ¡°Is that a promise?¡± ¡°It may be.¡± Daphne smiled. ¡°Hmm, well, I wouldn¡¯t want the world to suffer on ount of your moods,¡± she said. ¡°And because I am a good Samaritan, I have the perfect solution.¡± ¡°Oh?¡± I asked. ¡°Do tell.¡± ¡°You¡¯ll just have to marry me.¡± I looked at her in shock, wondering if she was serious or not. ¡°What?¡± ¡°You heard me,¡± she said. ¡°If you marry me, then I¡¯ll always be around to counter your bad moods.¡± ¡°I¡­ Did you just propose to me?¡± I asked. Daphneughed. ¡°I think so,¡± she said. ¡°So what do you say?¡± ¡°I say yes,¡± I said, still slightly shocked. ¡°I will marry you.¡± I smiled to myself at the memory and then put it away. That was my past, and while it would always be with me, now there was something bigger and brighter in my future that I needed to focus on. Kristen and Noah were still jabbering away, and my smile grew wider. I hoped that my life would always be like this. We got to the restaurant, and as the valet drove off the car, I turned to Kristen and Noah. Their hands were already linked, so I walked behind them into the restaurant, willing to surrender Kristen to Noah for the time being. We were shown to the table I had requested three weeks ago when I had made the reservation. It was nestled into a little nook that overlooked the entirety of the restaurant. The table was set against the ss that overlooked a pond that held swans. Noah went crazy for the swans, and immediately he ran up to the ss to take a closer look. Kristen turned to me and slipped her hand into mine. ¡°I was under the impression that this restaurant needed to be booked weeks in advance.¡± ¡°It does,¡± I nodded. ¡°Wow, you¡¯ve been nning this for a while,¡± Kristen said. ¡°What¡¯s the asion?¡± ¡°I just wanted to give both of you a treat,¡± I said evasively. We sat down as the waiter came forward with menus. Noah needed help deciding what he wanted, so Kristen leaned over to help him. In the end, we just ordered a bunch of different things to share. I also ordered a bottle of champagne for Kristen and myself, and a mocktail for Noah. Once the waiter had left, Kristen tried to engage me in conversation, but my nerves were getting in the way of myposure. Thankfully Noah¡¯s presence helped take the focus off me, but now and again I saw Kristen looking at me curiously, as though she didn¡¯t know what was going on. The waiter had just cleared away our dinner tes, and Noah was by the ss partition admiring the swans when Kristen turned to me and ced her hand over mine. ¡°Hey,¡± she said. ¡°Is everything alright with you?¡± ¡°Yeah¡­ Of course.¡± Kristen raised her eyebrows, not convinced at all. ¡°Are you sure?¡± ¡°Positive.¡± ¡°You seem distant tonight.¡± ¡°Do I?¡± ¡°And, you¡¯re giving me the shortest answers possible.¡± ¡°Am I?¡± ¡°Stop that.¡± ¡°Sorry,¡± I said, trying to suppress my smile. ¡°You know if Noah hadn¡¯t been here and if this restaurant had been less fancy, I would have assumed you wanted to break up with me.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not it.¡± Kristen smiled. ¡°Well, that¡¯s good to know.¡± We were interrupted as Noah came back to the table, but instead of sitting on his chair, he slipped onto Kristen¡¯sp and leaned against her shoulder. The sight of them together brought a lump to my throat, and I knew the moment had arrived. ¡°Kristen,¡± I said, reaching out for her. ¡°You¡¯ve made my life so much better.¡± ¡°Mine, too,¡± Noah piped up. Iughed. ¡°You¡¯ve made a difference in both our lives, and I¡¯m so grateful that we met.¡± Kristen¡¯s eyes were soft with tenderness, and I could tell she was getting emotional, too. ¡°I know neither one of us expected this, but we found each other, and it makes sense. We make sense together. I¡¯m a lucky guy. I didn¡¯t always think that, but now I¡¯ve realized that I had the privilege of having not one, but two soul mates. But you¡¯re not just my soul mate, Kristen; you¡¯re my best friend, too. And I know I¡¯m going to be okay as long as you¡¯re by my side.¡± With that, I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out the small jewelry box that I¡¯d been hiding for thest month. Kristen¡¯s eyes went wide, and a little gasp escaped her. Noah sat up straight, looking excited and impatient. ¡°Kristen, will you do me the honor of bing my wife?¡± ¡°Yes!¡± Noah screamed before Kristen could say a word. Weughed, and I shook my head at him. ¡°Sorry, bud, but Kristen needs to be the one to ept my proposal.¡± ¡°Say yes, Krissy,¡± Noah prompted, looking back at her pleadingly. ¡°Please say yes.¡± I saw tears sparkle in Kristen¡¯s eyes as she nodded. ¡°Of course, I¡¯ll marry you,¡± she said. Noah screamed in excitement, and I rose from my chair to embrace Kristen. As we were kissing, I heard apuse go up in the restaurant, and when we broke apart, I realized that everyone was cheering for us. Noah was wedged in between us, joining in our embrace and pping along with everyone else. I looked at Kristen and kissed her softly on the lips. ¡°Yes?¡± I asked again, just to check. ¡°Yes,¡± she said firmly. Three Years LaterContent property of N?velDra/ma.Org. Episode Forty-Three Epilogue Kristen¡¯s [POV] I stared at myself in the mirror, running my hands over my gigantic stomach. I had on an ivory dress withce details along the bell sleeves and the hemline. It was a beautiful dress, and it made me feel strong and confident: something I had been struggling with in myst trimester. ¡°You look fantastic,¡± Melody said, from behind me. I whirled around and smiled. ¡°You¡¯re here! I didn¡¯t even hear youe in.¡± ¡°You were too busy admiring yourself in the mirror.¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°More likementing the state of my body.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be ridiculous,¡± she said. ¡°You¡¯re glowing.¡± ¡°Am I?¡± I asked. ¡°I think I¡¯m just sweating.¡± She shook her head at me. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re going to have a baby.¡± ¡°Neither can I,¡± I admitted. ¡°I¡¯m excited, though.¡± ¡°So¡­what are you having?¡± Melody asked, with raised eyebrows. Iughed. ¡°I couldn¡¯t tell you even if I wanted to,¡± I said. ¡°We don¡¯t know.¡± Melody frowned at me. ¡°What?¡± ¡°We told the doctor that we didn¡¯t want to know,¡± I exined. ¡°But we were going to have a gender reveal party that doubled as a baby shower. So Doctor Mitchell wrote down the baby¡¯s gender in a sealed envelope and then I dropped off the envelope at this amazing little bakery down Corey Street. They¡¯ve baked us a special cake for the asion, and the moment we cut into it, we¡¯ll know if we¡¯re having a boy or a girl.¡± ¡°Oh nice,¡± Melody nodded. ¡°I¡¯ve heard of people doing this. Very interesting. So what are you hoping for?¡± I smiled. ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡± ¡°Bullshit,¡± she said immediately. ¡°Everyone has a preference.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t,¡± I said honestly. ¡°As long as this baby¡¯s healthy and happy, I¡¯m happy. And so is Jake.¡± ¡°Okay, okay,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯ll buy that.¡± Iughed. ¡°Did you bring your plus one?¡± ¡°He¡¯s outside,¡± she nodded. ¡°And, how¡¯s it going so far?¡± ¡°Only time will tell,¡± Melody said. ¡°We can¡¯t all be as lucky as you.¡± I smiled. ¡°You know, I might believe in soul mates now.¡±Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°Really?¡± she said. ¡°Well, I¡¯m d, although I can¡¯t take credit for converting you. It was Jake who did the trick, wasn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°It was,¡± I had to admit. ¡°Well, I may have to go through a few more men before finding my soul mate.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t lose hope,¡± Iughed. ¡°Never,¡± Melody said, giving me a wink. ¡°In any case, I like the search.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll bet,¡± I smirked. ¡°Did you leave your new beau outside by himself?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry; he¡¯s fine,¡± Melody said. ¡°He¡¯s talking to this impressive bald man out front; I think his name was Larry?¡± ¡°Luis?¡± I checked. ¡°That¡¯s it,¡± Melody nodded. ¡°He got in a couple of minutes ago when we did.¡± ¡°That¡¯s Jake¡¯s old military buddy,¡± I said. ¡°I must go out and say hello.¡± At that moment, the door opened, and Jake walked in. ¡°Hey,dies,¡± he greeted, hugging Melody. ¡°Sorry to break up the heart-to-heart, but a few more guests have arrived, and they want to see you, Kris.¡± ¡°I have an important question, Jake,¡± Melody said, turning to him. ¡°Shoot.¡± ¡°Is there booze?¡± Jakeughed. ¡°There¡¯s a bar set up just before the balcony. Go crazy.¡± ¡°Oh, I intend to,¡± Melody nodded. ¡°Excuse me.¡± The moment she left, Jake turned to me and wrapped his arms around me. ¡°Hi,¡± he said, kissing me gently on the lips. ¡°Hi,¡± I said, melting into him like I always did. Only now there was a slight barrier between us created by my ever-expanding belly. ¡°Did I mention how beautiful you look today?¡± Jake asked. I waved away thepliment. ¡°You¡¯re just saying that.¡± ¡°I¡¯m saying it because I mean it,¡± he said. ¡°You look like an auburn-haired mermaid.¡± ¡°Wow, that¡¯s quite a description.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t take all the credit,¡± he said. ¡°That was how Noah described you.¡± ¡°Where is our son?¡± I asked, enjoying the way ¡®our son¡¯ sounded. ¡°He¡¯s outside, showing his drawings to his grandmother,¡± Jake replied. ¡°Good.¡± ¡°Also, the cake just got here,¡± Jake told me. I pped my hands together. ¡°Oh, wow¡­we¡¯re finally going to find out. Boy or girl.¡± ¡°My money¡¯s on girl,¡± Jake said, with a smile. Iughed. ¡°Is that instinct or hope?¡± ¡°A little bit of both,¡± he smiled. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter, though. We¡¯ll have tons of kids, so we¡¯re bound to end up with boys and girls.¡± I raised my eyebrows. ¡°Tons of kids?¡± I repeated. ¡°I¡¯m thinking like ten,¡± he teased. Iughed. ¡°I think that¡¯s up for discussion.¡± ¡°Fair enough,¡± he nodded. ¡°Come on, we better get out there,¡± I said, moving towards the door. Jake held my hand, and I looked toward him. ¡°What?¡± ¡°You should know that your mother just got here, too.¡± I tensed a little, but then I reminded myself that our rtionship had made strides in thest two years. Mom had finally epted my decision not to have a rtionship with Ted, and she had also stopped butting into my life and allowed me to make my own decisions. ¡°Okay,¡± I nodded. ¡°Has she seen Isabelle yet?¡± Jake smiled. ¡°I was standing in between them when they met,¡± he nodded. ¡°And?¡± ¡°It went surprisingly well,¡± he said. ¡°They didn¡¯t talk about anything other than you. Your mother mentioned Daphne once, and then they moved on.¡± ¡°Well¡­that¡¯s good.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be worried,¡± Jake said, taking my hand. ¡°I¡¯ll be right beside you.¡± After sharing onest kiss, we walked out together. The crowd mostlyprised our friends and colleagues from work and a few other people who had made a difference in our lives. Luis came up to me and hugged me. ¡°Kristen, you look wonderful.¡± ¡°Thanks, Luis,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s great to see you. Where¡¯s your new bride?¡± Luis scanned the crowd. ¡°Cathy?¡± he called. A tall, beautiful woman approached. She had dreadlocks that fell to her middle back and light hazel eyes that danced when she smiled. ¡°Lovely to meet you, Kristen.¡± ¡°The pleasure¡¯s mine,¡± I replied. ¡°I must say, we were both so curious to meet the woman who finally managed to convince Luis to settle down.¡± ¡°It wasn¡¯t easy,¡± sheughed. ¡°But I convinced him that I was more than willing to be an army wife.¡± ¡°My next deployment will be myst, though,¡± Luis said. ¡°Then it¡¯s time for me to start a new chapter.¡± ¡°Good for you, man¡­and if you ever need some help getting a job when you¡¯re back here for good, just give me a call,¡± Jake said, pping him on the back. As the group kept talking, I nced up and noticed my mother standing in one corner looking straight at me. I excused myself and headed over to her. ¡°Hi, Mom,¡± I said, leaning in for a hug. ¡°My God,¡± she replied, patting my stomach. ¡°You¡¯re so big.¡± ¡°I definitely feel big,¡± I nodded. ¡°You look lovely,¡± she said, and I could see that she was a little emotional. ¡°You have a lovely apartment,¡± she continued, looking around. ¡°We moved in right after we got married,¡± I said. ¡°Jake wanted a ce in a good school district, and we needed a bigger space because we knew we were going to start a family soon.¡± ¡°I wanted to thank you for inviting me,¡± she said. ¡°I wasn¡¯t at your wedding, so it makes me feel good to know I was included in the baby shower.¡± ¡°No one was invited to the wedding, Mom,¡± I reminded her. ¡°There was no wedding, to begin with. Jake and I eloped, and the only person with us was Noah.¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t want a wedding?¡± she asked, and I knew she still didn¡¯t understand why we had eloped. ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°We just wanted to be married; we felt the wedding was unnecessary. I did wear a white dress, though.¡± ¡°I saw the pictures,¡± she nodded. ¡°But I¡¯m d you decided to have a baby shower.¡± ¡°And a gender reveals party,¡± I added. ¡°That¡¯s exciting,¡± she nodded. ¡°So when is the reveal going to take ce?¡± ¡°I think the cake was just delivered a few minutes ago¡­so, soon,¡± I replied. ¡°I think they¡¯re just taking it out of the box and setting it up.¡± Just as I finished speaking, one of the caterers we¡¯d hired for the evening wheeled in a food trolley with the cake in its center. It was a beautiful cake in a blushed fondant with tons of different kinds of chocte decorating its head. ¡°Mom,¡± Noah said, rushing to my side. I ced my hand on his shoulder. He had transitioned into calling me ¡®mom¡¯ right before Jake and I had decided to elope, and ever since then, I always got a little tingle of happiness every time he addressed me. ¡°Ready to see if you¡¯re going to have a brother or sister?¡± I asked. ¡°Yup!¡± Noah nodded, bouncing up and down. He had grown up into a little man now. He was seven and more or less independent, which was what had initially prompted me to want to get pregnant. I missed Noah at four, and I was hoping to get as lucky the second time around. As we walked up to the cake, Jake appeared on the other side of the cart, and all our guests fell silent as he tapped his ss to signal a toast. ¡°I just wanted to say to everyone here, thank you foring,¡± Jake started. ¡°And, I also wanted to thank my beautiful, kind, and selfless wife for transforming my life and for being a wonderful mother to our son. Ever since I married you, our life has been an adventure, and I can¡¯t wait to start this next adventure with you.¡± ¡°And me!¡± Noah piped up. The whole room exploded inughter, and I felt so happy that suddenly I felt light as a feather, as though I could float away. ¡°A few years ago, things were really difficult for me,¡± Jake continued. ¡°I was going through a hard transition, and I needed some hope, I needed a reason to persevere, and Kristen gave me that reason. So I¡¯d like to invite everyone here to raise their sses to my brilliant and beautiful wife Kristen Middleton.¡± There was a clink of sses as everyone toasted to me and then the crowd started cheering and pping. The moment the noise quieted down a little, Noah grabbed my hand. ¡°Can we find out now?¡± he asked impatiently. ¡°I want to know what we¡¯re having.¡± I smiled and nodded. ¡°Of course,¡± I said, as Jake stepped in beside me and handed me a knife. ¡°Ready?¡± Jake asked. I nodded. ¡°I am,¡± I said. ¡°But I think Noah should do the honors.¡± ¡°Really?¡± Noah asked, sounding thrilled. ¡°Go for it, buddy,¡± Jake said, passing the knife to Noah. Looking a little nervous suddenly, he cut into the cake and pushed aside the split piece so that we could see the color on the inside. ¡°It¡¯s pink!¡± Noah yelled. The room burst into another round of apuse, and I felt Jake¡¯s arms wrap around me from the back. He kissed my cheek and neck, and I could tell that this was what he had hoped for. ¡°We¡¯re having a girl,¡± he said joyously. ¡°She¡¯s going to have the best father in the world,¡± I said. Jake gave me a wink, and then he was kissing me passionately, for the entire world to see. Episode Forty-Four ¡ª///BILLIONAIRES HOOK UP///¡ª Tasha¡¯s [POV] My heart bounced up into my throat when the phone rang. The productunch had started slow, but thest I heard, the server had crashed. It was supposed to be good news so many people bought the application that we¡¯d been overwhelmed but it was my responsibility to smooth everything out. I wasn¡¯t sure I could take one more wrinkle. I pressed down the creases on my pencil skirt and answered the phone. ¡°Tasha Nichols.¡± ¡°Ms. Nichols, I¡¯m Amy. I¡¯m the assistant the temp agency sent over?¡± Her nervous voice ended everything on a high, shaky note. I ground my teeth. Another junior executive had poached my assistant. Over thest two years, a pattern had emerged: I trained my assistants, made them capable and efficient, and then one of my male counterparts would entice them away. Now it seemed I had a new, temporary assistant every few weeks. ¡°Yes, Amy, is there something you need? I¡¯m not due into the office for another thirty minutes,¡± I said. ¡°Um, yeah, I mean, yes. Yes, Ms. Nichols. A Mr. Berger stopped by and dropped off two tickets to an exclusive wine-tasting event up in Sonoma. It¡¯s tonight, so I thought you would want to know right away,¡± Amy said. So, Berger was the assistant thief this time, I thought. He knew full well I didn¡¯t have the time for a wine tasting, but at least he¡¯d made the effort to send a thank you. ¡°Wait, did you say Mr. Berger stopped by? He¡¯s already in the office?¡± I asked. Amy paused, remembering my no-doubt-dashing colleague. ¡°I¡¯m not sure he went homest night. He was wearing a tuxedo.¡± Of course, he was. While I was sweating over the server crash and helping the tech managers organize their teams, the other junior executives had been representing ourpany at a Bay Area charity ball. A whole night of free champagne. No wonder he was so free with his wine-tasting tickets. ¡°Send the tickets to my tech manager,¡± I told my temp assistant. ¡°He deserves them for setting everything right at the eleventh hour.¡± I choked on myst sip of coffee as I heard Amy rummaging through piles of paper. She made nervous little sniffs as she searched. ¡°Your tech manager?¡± ¡°There¡¯s a contacts roster inside your job description binder,¡± I said. I dumped out the rest of my coffee in the kitchen sink and nced out the window. The San Francisco Bay was glittering in the bright spring sunshine. The Golden Gate Bridge was just emerging from a lightyer of fog, and from my vantage point, San Francisco was shining like the inside of an abalone shell. The light cardigan I wore was enough for my sunny spot in the East Bay, but the city would be chilly despite the spring weather. I turned my back on the view and grabbed my tweed coat as I rushed to the door. ¡°Okay, I found the binder,¡± Amy said, ¡°but there¡¯s this big meeting this morning.¡± ¡°I know, Amy; it¡¯ll be all right. I¡¯m on my way now,¡± I said. I paused at the front door and took one more sweeping nce at my condominium. It was a small one-bedroom, but it was on the top floor. The view was amazing when I had time for it, but now all I could do was make sure I had my briefcase, reports, and work files. My sink was stacked high with dirty dishes, the dishwasher was full of forgotten clean ones, and I¡¯d left two cupboards hanging open during my desperate search for breakfast. I took one step back inside to shut them, but stopped. ¡°Ms. Nichols, this binder has three hundred pages. Am I supposed to read it all?¡± Amy asked. ¡°Everyone¡¯s rushing around for this big meeting and I don¡¯t even know where the restrooms are.¡± I shut the front door behind me and locked it. ¡°Down the hall, take the first left. And after you get back, all you need to do is read the first section. I¡¯ve outlined all your major responsibilities and created a suggested priority list. The rest of the binder is to be used as a reference.¡± ¡°Wow. This is great. I wish every exec had a binder like this. Yourst assistant must have been very organized,¡± Amy said. ¡°I made that binder myself.¡± I paused at my car door and looked at my watch. It was no use fighting bridge traffic at that time in the morning, so I would have to take the train into the city. ¡°Who else have you seen this morning?¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Amy¡¯s breathy sigh made my stomach clench. ¡°There was this very handsome man about five minutes ago. I think he came in with Mr. Berger. He was wearing a tux, but his tie was all undone and his shirt unbuttoned.¡± My temp assistant melted on the other end of the line while I yanked open my car door and jumped in. ¡°Let me guess: bright-blue eyes and a dimple when he smiles?¡± ¡°Ooh, I didn¡¯t see the dimple, but he had the yummiest stubble.¡± Amy giggled. ¡°He said he¡¯d see me at the meeting.¡± ¡°At the meeting?¡± I let my tires do the shrieking for me as I raced through my hilly neighborhood. ¡°Why in the hell is Rainer Maxwelling to my meeting?¡± ¡°Is that his name?¡± Amy asked. ¡°Oh, here he is on your contacts roster. Junior Executive, Public Rtions. I bet he is good at his job.¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°All he can do is wink and smile,¡± I spat out. ¡°He has no idea what it takes to manage a project from conception tounch. I bet he doesn¡¯t even know the server crashed and my team spent twelve hours straight fixing all the bugs. He probably thinks these apps appear out of nowhere, like plucking an apple off a tree.¡± I knew I was ranting, so I told Amy goodbye and then I stepped on the gas. I strangled my steering wheel as traffic stopped again on the Bay Bridge. I really should have taken the train. I could see Hyperion Industries, the sleek skyscraper, standing out on the hilly streets of San Francisco. Everything about it was polished and new, always on the cutting edge of technology. Themunications giant held the upper hand in everything from sharedputer databases to bandwidth technology and inte applications. It dominated the buildings andpanies around it and was no less imposing from my vantage point on the bridge. Finally, an opening appeared and I drove on the shoulder to get to my exit. It was strange to drive up to my office building rather than walk from the rapid transit station, but I didn¡¯t have time to overthink it. I did cringe as my old, economy sedan stood in line with Tes and Porsches. The executive valet service was something I only ever used in an emergency. The astronomical numbers our productunch was showing exined my rush, but nothing erased the scraps and dents on my car. The valets raised their eyebrows as I pulled up. ¡°Ms. Nichols?¡± a valet confirmed, looking at my badge. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, we didn¡¯t recognize you and your, um, car. We¡¯ll take it right away.¡± I gathered up all my things and rushed into the lobby. Glossy was the only word that came to mind when I entered Hyperion Industries. The marble floor shone as did the tall columns that guided people to the first security checkpoint. The circr front desk looked like the dock out of a futuristic spaceship. The head security guard was surrounded by video monitors andputer directories. If he didn¡¯t recognize someone, his mountainous counterparts would detain them before they got to the elevator banks. ¡°Good morning, Otto,¡± I said. Otto folded his newspaper and stood up. ¡°Good morning, Tasha. You took over the world yet?¡± Iughed. ¡°Not yet, but that¡¯s still the n.¡± ¡°Here, let me help you with that.¡± Otto signaled for one of therge security guards to take his ce. He shuffled around the front desk and took the stack of reports and files from my arms. ¡°Hi, Larry. How¡¯s your wife doing with her broken arm?¡± I asked. Episode Forty-Five Tasha¡¯s [POV] Larry smiled, startling the two businessmen lined up behind me. ¡°Castes off next week. Congrattions, Ms. Nichols, I hear your new app is¡± ¡°Stop.¡± Otto silenced him. ¡°She won¡¯t talk about it until all the numbers are in.¡± ¡°Am I that bad?¡± I asked Otto as he walked me to the executive elevator bank. The older man smiled and nodded. ¡°But now that it¡¯s done, you¡¯re going to starting in with details of real life. Dinners, dates, day trips, fun. You remember fun?¡± ¡°Nope,¡± I said. ¡°Must have slipped my mind.¡± ¡°How about you find someone to help you remember?¡± Otto held open the elevator door and handed me my reports and files. I pressed the number for my floor and shook my head. ¡°Career first,¡± I said. Otto gave me a helpless smile as the elevator doors closed. He knew that as one of the few female junior executives at Hyperion, I had to work harder than my male counterparts. I couldn¡¯t afford to lose my focus or my foothold in thepany would slip, and I would see my colleagues promoted ahead of me. That thought still rankled me, no matter how many years I had strived to stay ahead of it. If I let go, even for sixty seconds, my career could stall. I couldn¡¯t let that happen. So, when the elevator doors opened on my floor, I immediately punched the button for the Vista Cafe. The elevator rose to the highest floor and opened onto a busy scene. Long ago, the top brass of Hyperion had decided a sky-level cafe would help motivate their employees, and they had been right. Grabbing a cup of coffee next to panoramic views of San Francisco, the Golden Gate Bridge, and the bay motivated everyone to work harder. I didn¡¯t pause near the din of the coffee bar and kept going past the velvet-roped entrance to the executive dining room. I needed a quiet ce to help me focus before our big meeting, and there was only one spot in the whole skyscraper that I knew would inspire me. The exterior of Hyperion headquarters might have been shiny and new, but the building itself was erected right after the 1906 earthquake. It was that mix of history and evolution that made Hyperion an industry leader. When the newest incarnation of the offices had been installed, the tower had been left untouched. Only a few people knew that the original executive penthouse still existed, untouched. Otto had long ago told me the secret to finding it, and ever since then, it had been my haven. I slipped into the stairwell and went up. The stairwell ended abruptly, and there was nothing but a narrow doorbeled Utilities. A heavy handle equipped with an rm bar guarded what otherwise looked like a closet. I pushed it open, knowing full well the rm was only for show, and gently closed the door behind me. Inside, the emergency lights were the only thing illuminating a narrow hallway. The faux walls deterred any other explorers, but I kept going. The particleboard walls gave way to a grand lobby dominated by a short but sweeping staircase. I put one hand on the banister carved from dark mahogany and walked up to the arched doorway of the penthouse. I could feel over one hundred years of hard-won leadership, relentless vision, and tireless dedication as I approached the coveted office. How many people before me had entered those doors and promised themselves they wouldn¡¯t give up until they reached the top? I pushed open the heavy wooden door on the right and stepped inside. Sunlight filtered through the dusty, forgotten windows, but even the smudges of time did not diminish the impressive view. I took a step towards the raised dais and around the massive carved wood and marble desk that still stood there. Then a side door creaked open, and I pressed both hands to my mouth to stifle my scream. Rainer Maxwell let loose a stream of swearing that ended with a heartyugh. I pried one of my hands off my mouth and smacked him hard on the shoulder before I could gather myposure. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to surprise you. How did you know about this ce?¡± he asked. ¡°How did you?¡± Rainer smiled. ¡°I know my way around.¡± I dragged my other hand down and frowned at him. I usually saw the handsome junior executive conducting business in thefort of the dining hall. It seemed he did most of his business over drinks, whether it was coffee or something stronger. I pressed a hand to my heart and wondered if a shot would settle my nerves. There was a bottle of Glenlivet whiskey in the hidden drawer of the old desk. Otto said it kept the spirits of the old office happy. ¡°Who told you this was still here?¡± I couldn¡¯t imagine Otto sharing with someone so slick. Rainer probably used the hidden penthouse for his infamous office liaisons. I cringed. ¡°This isn¡¯t a yground.¡± Rainer tipped his head and smiled at me. ¡°You surprised me too, you know. I never thought Ms. Nichols was the sneak-around type.¡± I smoothed down my blouse and squared my shoulders. ¡°I¡¯m not sneaking around. You were the one hiding in the closet.¡± ¡°You haven¡¯t been back there?¡± Rainer leaned forward and caught my hand. ¡°You¡¯re gonna love it.¡± I wanted to resist, but his grip was firm. Sudden heat swept up my arm from where we touched and I felt it bloom on my cheeks. Rainer tugged me towards the hidden door panel, and I couldn¡¯t resist. Then the specter of his many office romances sprung to my mind and I pulled back. We were caught, pressed together in the narrow doorway, and all the breath left my body. Even in the dim, filtered light, his eyes were electric blue. His wide shoulders wedged tightly against the doorframe, and I could feel the hard flex of his stomach as his breath caught too. Warm currents raced up my arm as his hand trailed up from my wrist to sp my shoulder. ¡°What are you doing?¡± I asked. Rainer¡¯s smile returned, but it wasn¡¯t as easy as before. ¡°Showing you the old, hidden bathroom.¡± He pushed my shoulder, and I popped into the surprisinglyrge room. A pedestal sink, wfoot tub, and full-length standing mirror gleamed in the low light. The porcin toilet was framed with an ornate, wood-carved seat and had a pull-chain flush. In the corner stretched a chaise lounge, its embroidered chintz still showing bright flowers. My stern expression fled as I delighted in the opulent find. The original penthouse office was full of luxuries, and I couldn¡¯t believe I hadn¡¯t thought to look for the bathroom before. I had been so busy with my career daydreams that I had never noticed the panel door. ¡°Pretty fancy, right?¡± Rainer asked. He leaned around me and checked his hair in the clouded mirror. ¡°I can just imagine one of those old, fat-cat execs hiding out in here and reading the paper while his secretary did all his work.¡± I shot Rainer a look. ¡°Is that what you aspire to?¡± He shrugged and his smile regained its jaunty shine. ¡°I¡¯m not much for aspiring. I juste up here for the privacy.¡± I held up both hands to ward off whatever he would say next. ¡°I don¡¯t want to hear about your conquests.¡±Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°Yeah, I heard you were a prude,¡± Rainer said. I knew he was just teasing me, but I spun around and marched out of the bathroom. My haven, my private ce of inspiration, was ruined. Instead of imagining myself sitting at that desk, running a sessful and secure business far into the future, all I could see were the ghosts ofzy, entitled men like Rainer running thepany to the ground. I stared out the window and struggled to keep sight of my goals. ¡°Why do youe up here?¡± he asked, following me to the view behind the desk. I pursed my lips and headed for the door. Rainer followed me, closing the penthouse office door behind him. He caught up to me in the faux utility closet and slipped in front to block my way. I crossed my arms over my stomach to contain the leap of excitement I felt inside. His attractiveness was an irritation, worse than the genuine curiosity in his gaze. ¡°Fine,¡± I said. ¡°Ie up here to clear my thoughts and make sure I¡¯ve got my eye on the prize.¡± He nodded, appeased by my answer, but he didn¡¯t move. ¡°I was clearing my thoughts too. Until you showed up.¡± The closet was too tight, too warm. ¡°Yeah, I hear hangovers are the worst.¡± Rainer grinned. ¡°How do I look? Ready to face the press?¡± I stopped shoving him aside and narrowed my eyes. ¡°What press?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll tell you in the elevator.¡± I took three big steps back and shook my head. ¡°No, thank you. I¡¯m not going to get tangled up in your disgusting office gossip. I¡¯ll take the stairs.¡± ¡°Suit yourself, Tasha,¡± he said. Rainer slipped out the door and shut it behind him. I stood in the dark and waited for my pulse to settle down. He knew my name; of course, he knew my name. The real shock was hearing it on his lips and liking it. I yanked open the door and marched down two flights of stairs as if I could escape the preposterous idea that I was attracted to Rainer Maxwell. To distract myself, I nned the best route to my office. The top executives upied the floor directly below the Vista Cafe level, and the financial department was directly below them. I slipped onto the financial floor and marched to the first bank of elevators. The junior executives had offices on the next floor down, and it would look perfectly normal for me to take the elevator from there. No one would know I ran into Rainer, or that he was the reason my cheeks still felt hot. The doors slid open seconds after I pushed the down button. I stepped forward to enter the elevator and stumbled. Rainer lounged against the back wall, surrounded by his buddy colleagues. They reluctantly shuffled aside to make space for me, but Rainer just smiled. ¡°Good morning, Ms. Nichols,¡± he said. If I refused to get on the elevator now, everyone would assume I had a reason to dislike him. I did dislike him, I reminded myself, but not because we¡¯d had some cheap office dalliance and he¡¯d moved on. It didn¡¯t matter that I was turned off by his casual work attitude or his smarmy path to sess. All our colleagues would think was that I was another one of his conquests. ¡°Good morning,¡± I said to the group atrge. I forced myself onto the elevator and turned around to face the doors, leaving asrge a gap between myself and Rainer as I could. The doors slid closed inches from my nose. ¡°All right, Rainer, enough suspense. Tell us about the partyst night,¡± one of the junior executives said. Another one chucked Rainer on the shoulder. ¡°I hear you showed up with two models you met at the product shoot.¡± Product shoot? I wondered, ignoring the otherscivious details. My team¡¯s application was the only product I knew had been recently promoted in print media. ¡°I¡¯d tell you boys, but there¡¯s ady present,¡± Rainer said. ¡°Where?¡± another junior executive joked. Rainer stood up straight, and I felt his eyes on my back. ¡°I¡¯d watch out, Georgie. Ms. Nichols is nning to be your boss.¡± Georgie jammed his hands in his pockets. ¡°Yeah? Well, I hear she¡¯s your boss as ofst night.¡± Snickers erupted behind me. I refused to move and acknowledge any of them, but I felt Rainer respond immediately. Whatever move he made had George throwing his hands up in self-defense. ¡°Hey, we¡¯re not stupid,¡± George said. ¡°We all tried to jump on her project too. You just happened to have the best strings to pull.¡± Sweat threatened to pop out along my hairline, and I was d when the elevator doors slid open on our floor. Rainer Maxwell had weaseled his way onto my project? I strode down the hallway, ignoring the parting looks I felt from the elevator. I had precious little time before our big meeting, and I had to find out if it was just elevator gossip or the truth. My mind was racing faster than my feet, so it took a moment for my thoughts to circle back to my assistant¡¯s desk. A petite woman with her brown hair in a tight ponytail stared up at me. ¡°You¡¯re Amy?¡± I asked. She nodded and raised an eyebrow, but otherwise did not move. I clenched my fingers into a fist. ¡°I¡¯m Ms. Nichols. You¡¯re my assistant. Have you read through the binder?¡± Amy jumped up and opened my office door. ¡°Really? I thought you were kidding about that. I mean, that binder is huge.¡± ¡°This is your job, Amy,¡± I said. I dumped my things on my desk and put my fists on my hips. ¡°Are there any messages for me about changes to my project team? Specifically concerning the public rtions portion.¡± ¡°Messages? Like on your voicemail? I don¡¯t have the password,¡± Amy said. I pressed a hand to my forehead. ¡°The password is in the binder. I don¡¯t have time to sort through them now.¡± Amy¡¯s nk expression was too much. I turned away from her and looked out my office window. The view was bleakpared to the one I had admired upstairs. I faced the gray facade of the neighboring office building and saw only long rows of cubicles through its in windows. There was nothing to inspire me there, but the inspiration wasn¡¯t really what I needed. I needed an exnation. How had Rainer been assigned to my project just in time to reap the benefits? ¡°Could you please call Mr. Maxwell¡¯s assistant and inquire about his morning schedule?¡± I turned around to face Amy. ¡°Why don¡¯t you just ask Mr. Maxwell?¡± Amy blinked a few slow times. Somewhere in my usual flurry of voicemails was surely a quick message from Stan or one of my other bosses, telling me why Rainer Maxwell was suddenly on my project. I could give Amy the password, but it would take her too long to decipher the messages and write down any pertinent information. Her wide-eyed expression did not offer any help. ¡°Never mind. I¡¯ll be attending this morning¡¯s meeting by myself. That should give you time to review the binder and get caught up on your daily duties,¡± I said. ¡°Shut the door behind you, please.¡± Amy wandered out of my office and had to double back to shut the door. As soon as I was sure she was back at her desk, I raised both hands to the ceiling and mimed a frustrated scream. Then I cleared my throat and picked up my phone. ¡°Rainer Maxwell¡¯s office; this is Topher.¡± I pinched my nose and did my best impression of Amy¡¯s questioning voice. ¡°Ms. Nichols would like a word with Mr. Maxwell. Is he avable?¡± ¡°No, sorry. Mr. Maxwell is finishing up the press conference for the GroGreen application. I¡¯m expecting him soon. Can I take a message?¡± Images of Rainer smoothing back his wavy, dark-brown hair and checking his image in the antique mirror shed through my head like lightning. He had been preening and practicing his lines in the penthouse office when I stumbled in this morning. Now he was downstairs smiling into dozens of cameras and taking credit for all my hard work. I strangled the phone hard, imagining it was him before I hung up. Rainer Maxwell had assumed he¡¯d picked an easy target, but he was dead wrong. I had sacrificed everything for my career and no one, no matter how slick, would stand in my way. Episode Forty-Six Rainer¡¯s [POV] I watched Tasha Nichols march out of the elevator and stride off down the office hallway. Hyperion Industries was a huge corporation, so it shouldn¡¯t have bothered me that I didn¡¯t know where her office was before today. The detail that struck me was the direction she took to get there. All the junior executives had offices on the same floor despite our varied department focuses. It was meant to make us feel like arger team, in charge of the masses on the multiple floors below. Our floor was supposed to be an equalizer, but as I watched Tasha go, I realized how obvious the hierarchy was structured. Junior executives who fit the part sucked up to the higher-ups and yed the game all had offices on the east side of the building, overlooking San Francisco Bay. Those who weren¡¯t as highly favored had their offices facing the gray behemoth building on the west side. No wonder I hardly ever ran into Tasha; her office was on the far west side of the floor. George elbowed me as he left the elevator. ¡°She looks good, I¡¯ll give her that, but I don¡¯t think she looks like boss material.¡± Our croniesughed as they made their way down the east-side hallway and into their offices.Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. The elevator doors shut, and I savored the few minutes alone. I wanted to prepare myself for the press conference, but I found myself remembering Tasha¡¯s prating look instead. Later, after the buzz and sh of the press conference, I found myself hesitating outside the elevator again. I took two steps down the west hallway but could note up with a legitimate reason to visit Tasha in her office. And, by now, she knew what I¡¯d done and was probably plotting the demise of my career. ¡°What career,¡± I muttered. I dragged myself to my office to wait out the ten minutes before the big product meeting. It wasn¡¯t my office role to be early. ¡°Mr. Maxwell, congrattions!¡± My overeager assistant, Topher, jumped up from his desk and rushed around to shake my hand. ¡°Word is already going around that you nailed the press conference. What was that line you delivered about respect? I think the GroGreen app should use that as a slogan.¡± I pped him on the back. ¡°All I did was point out that we respect nature and now there¡¯s an app to help nature respect our busy schedules.¡± ¡°Amazing, sir. I¡¯m so impressed how you memorized all that information and went to that partyst night.¡± I could tell that Topher was dying to hear some details about the morous product release party. He was practically drooling over his daydreams of tailored suits and palm-greasing business deals. It tied my stomach in a tight knot. ¡°Someone¡¯s got to do the hard work,¡± I said. Topherughed and returned to his desk. ¡°I¡¯ve been reviewing all the product memos, but I¡¯m still not sure I could convince the world to buy it. You are very talented, sir.¡± I thought of Tasha Nichols. All the hard work had been hers, and yet the entire office was ready to put theurels on my head. I knew it was wrong, but I also knew this was how our business went. Hyperion got ahead on the image just as much as innovation. ¡°It¡¯s got nothing to do with me,¡± I said. ¡°The GroGreen app is going to change the way that people garden. It helps organize ideas, plot out the best use of the garden space, and keep the nting, watering, and everything on a tight schedule.¡± ¡°Not to mention how fun the garden simtor is.¡± He held up his phone. ¡°I¡¯ve already got sprouts popping up in my first rows.¡± I nced at his screen, impressed with the graphics. Tasha¡¯s team had an excellent eye for details, and she made sure the application had everything that a budding gardener might need or want. ¡°Why don¡¯t you get a little nter box and nt some real seeds?¡± I asked Topher. My assistant shook his head and adjusted the crisp white cuffs of his shirt. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t want to get dirt in here. Virtual gardening is good enough for me. Wait until you see my GroGreen page tomorrow.¡± ¡°Right,¡± I said, vaguely annoyed by his response. I moved past Topher¡¯s desk and into my office. At a loss for anything productive to do, I headed straight for the window. The view was significantly lower than the panorama of the penthouse office, but I was facing the right way and sure to work my way upstairs. I wondered how Tasha felt in her office overlooking the gray facade of another building. The contrast made me ufortable. ¡°Sir, you¡¯re on!¡± Topher scuttled into my office and turned on myrge t-screen television. ¡°You¡¯re the headline story.¡± The business news segment started with a few still shots of me at the productunch party. The news anchor yed up the angle of me as the industry yboy, always on the first wave of the best parties and trends. I cringed as I saw myself caught on camera with woman after beautiful woman. Sure, it was just publicity, but it all seemed so ridiculous. My stomach churned as the news anchor went on and on about the amount of champagne that flowed. ¡°And Hyperion Industries certainly has much to celebrate as the product sales are quickly outpacing any new app we¡¯ve seen since PokeGo,¡± the business anchor reported. Topher was hopping from one foot to the other in his excitement. All rumors and reports were pointing to a huge sess. ¡°I can¡¯t wait for the meeting, sir. Can you even imagine the kind of bonus you¡¯ll be getting?¡± ¡°The profits get spread out over hundreds of people,¡± I reminded my assistant. ¡°And I just came in on the tail-end to help with public rtions. I¡¯m sure the long-term team members will get much more.¡± Topher shook his head. ¡°No, sir, I checked. All junior executives are considered equal pay no matter how long they have worked on a project.¡± ¡°Speaking of work,¡± I said. ¡°I need a minute to return some calls.¡± Topher nodded and trotted back out the door. I sat down at my desk and kicked my heels up on the corner, knowing full well my assistant would look back as he shut the door. The young man grinned, seeing me as the lounging picture of sess. If only he knew how my stomach worked into tighter knots as I smiled. Once my office door was closed, the smile disappeared. I sagged farther down in my chair and stared at my shoes. Stupid, shiny things that I¡¯d paid more for than most people spent on their cars. Those shoes were good-looking butcked a substantive sole. I mmed my feet onto the plush carpet and rubbed my hands over my face. If it was true what people say about judging a man based on his shoes, then I should have been exposed as a fraud a long time ago: I was all polish and had no soul. I fumbled for the remote and turned the television off. It was too ridiculous to see my smiling face all over the news. I scowled into the sudden silence. I knew there was no shame in ying the game, and it had gotten me far, but I was sick of my hype. The office yboy who the women loved and the men wanted to be. The public rtions man who could spin any situation. The junior executive with the solid gold charm. I was going ces. The only reason I had been added to the GroGreen project was my reputation. The top execs knew they had sess on their hands and they wanted to make sure they stamped it with their brand of work. I was to represent Hyperion¡¯s old-school style while showing off thetest innovations. How did anyone believe that two-martini lunches, passing the buck, and stealing the credit created the next step in technology? Because I made them believe it. It was a cheap trick and reminded me of the shell game I learned when I was little. I robbed my brother of all his quarters before he realized I was a cheat. When heined to my father, my father only told pointed out that was the way the game was yed. ¡°Mr. Maxwell? Your brother is on line two.¡± Topher buzzed the call through to my desk. Episode Forty-Seven Rainer¡¯s [POV] ¡°Speak of the devil,¡± I said. ¡°Were you?¡± my brother asked. ¡°I¡¯m d one of your colleagues pointed out those crow¡¯s feet. Television shows all the ws. You tell them I can fix all that in an hour?¡± I groaned. ¡°What do you want, Evan?¡± ¡°Oh, so now my baby brother thinks he¡¯s the best because he was on television?¡± Evan sighed. ¡°I keep telling you a real reputation can¡¯t be built on bottles of champagne.¡± ¡°Are you trying to sell me Botox injections again or what?¡± I asked. ¡°Nope. I¡¯m just calling to show you how a real Maxwell makes the grade. Have you seen my review in the Best of the Bay? All the top critics are calling me the new face of stic surgery,¡± Evan said. I dropped an elbow on my desk and leaned on it hard. ¡°Father must be so proud.¡± ¡°Yes, exactly. The old man¡¯s taking me out for a celebratory dinner tonight. You want in?¡± I ground my teeth. It didn¡¯t matter that my face was now all over the headline news or that my name was trending alongside the biggest appunch of the year; my father was not impressed. Instead, he was taking my older brother out to dinner to celebrate. And I was being invited as an afterthought. Less than that, I was being invited as Evan¡¯s way of rubbing my face in it. ¡°I¡¯ve got ns,¡± I muttered. ¡°More champagne? More models? You do the Maxwell name proud, little bro,¡± Evan said. Even my own family didn¡¯t see that my reputation was all for show. I couldn¡¯t remember thest time I thought they knew me. ¡°Congrattions on the review, Evan,¡± I said. ¡°Tell Father I say hi.¡± ¡°Come on, Rainer, don¡¯t be like that. Come to dinner and say hi to him yourself.¡± I shoved up out of my office chair and red out over the tremendous view. It didn¡¯t matter that I was almost at the top of Hyperion Industries. It didn¡¯t matter that I wore custom-made suits and expensive shoes. My brother had worked his way through medical school, paid off all his debts, and then climbed to the top of his field all on his own. Compared to him, I was a parasite. The world thought I could charm everyone, but my father saw through me. He knew I was nothing but a con in a fancy suit. ¡°Sorry, Evan, I¡¯m just not in the mood for a family share andpare tonight,¡± I said. Evanughed. ¡°But it¡¯s a family tradition. We fight it out until we¡¯re sixty and then we see who gets the family fortune. A little friendly, familypetition. That¡¯s the reason we have the family fortune in the first ce. You know Father just barely beat out Uncle Bert. If he hadn¡¯t made those real estate deals a decade ago, we¡¯d be sucking up to old man Bert for tiny trust funds.¡± ¡°As if you need any more money,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s not for me; it¡¯s for future generations,¡± Evan said. ¡°I know, I know. ¡®Maxwells make the family fortune.¡¯ You realize our grandfather was a sick man to pit everyone against each other,¡± I said. ¡°Sick? How about genius? We¡¯ve got to make something of ourselves before we get the big bucks. I can¡¯t wait to see what my kids do,¡± Evan said. ¡°Well, good luck with that. I¡¯ve got a meeting to get to,¡± I said. ¡°Fine, but don¡¯t say I didn¡¯t invite you. Oh, and don¡¯t crinkle up your forehead when you smile or you¡¯ll get more wrinkles than even I can erase,¡± Evan said. I hung up the phone and leaned my forehead against the ss. It was ridiculous to call the expectations in my family a tradition. My grandfather had been dirt poor but made a respectable living as a master stone mason. My uncle had be a corporate attorney and set the bar high. Then my father cashed in all his shrewd real estate deals and be the patriarch. As a Maxwell, I was expected to contribute to the slowly umting family fortune or not receive any of the benefits. So, I put on the big smile, trotted out my best jokes, and dodged my way through the murky ranks of Hyperion Industries. It was just the sort of monstrous corporation that allowed men like me (short on tangible talent, heavy on personality) to grease the right palms and get to the top. Even I was sick of the rigged system. A rapid knock was followed by, ¡°Mr. Maxwell? Just a few quick items before your meeting.¡± I turned from the ss and dragged my mouth into an easy smile. Rainer Maxwell didn¡¯t brood out the window. I knew I had it good but wanted more, and I hoped today¡¯s meeting would do just that. ¡°Tasha Nichols requested a meeting. As soon as possible, she said.¡± Topher smirked and moved that message to the bottom of his list. ¡°Tasha Nichols?¡± I asked. Her name was like a lighthouse in my foggy thoughts, but that didn¡¯t fit my yboy persona. ¡°The new coffee girl?¡± Topher chuckled. ¡°No. That¡¯s Sasha. Tasha Nichols oversees the GroGreen app production team.¡± ¡°How else would I know her?¡± I asked. Topher was eager to show off his assistant skills and his impressive memory for Hyperion personnel. ¡°She¡¯s been on the rise for the two years, a favorite of Mr. Eastman.¡± ¡°Stan?¡± I retied my tie in the mirrored wall behind my desk. ¡°His reputation for chasing skirts was worse than mine.¡± Topher grinned. ¡°He¡¯s taken a particr interest in her this year and has been carefully tracking her progress on this app project.¡± The Chief Operations Officer had his eye on her. He was at least twenty years Tasha¡¯s senior, but it still bothered me. ¡°So, is she old and silver like our Mr. Eastman?¡± ¡°You don¡¯t remember her, Mr. Maxwell?¡± Topher asked. I pulled on my suit coat and arched an eyebrow at my assistant. ¡°Why would I remember her?¡± It was a test. I knew it, and he knew it. Topher had to walk the fine line between giving me the information I wanted and leaving out the details that did not reflect well on me. I might not have had the best talent, but I could sure teach the kid how to navigate the egos of corporate America. It was a special skill he¡¯d seen me wield with great results. ¡°You met her atst year¡¯s holiday party. She was in a red satin dress with a white cashmere cardigan. You knew her name and reputation, but that¡¯s the first time you met in person,¡± Topher said. I nodded. The image of Tasha enduring a pose with Santa us was impossible to erase. A pretty blush lit up her cheeks even as she smiled politely and pried off Santa¡¯s hands. I saved her by pulling her onto the dance floor. Frankly, she¡¯d dazzled me, and all I¡¯d been able to say was, ¡°Pretty little candy cane.¡± The line haunted me every time I saw her, and I was very d that the detail had been forgotten. I waved my hand to make Topher continue. ¡°I¡¯d had a few cocktails by the time Santa showed up.¡± ¡°She¡¯s attractive, with coppery-red hair, dark-brown eyes.¡± Topher was nervous and decided to hedge his bets on whether we liked her or not. ¡°Always in a hurry, uptight. Her smiles are always puckered up, sour.¡± ¡°Tasha Nichols isn¡¯t uptight. She¡¯s busy,¡± I said, not caring that I¡¯d revealed I knew her. ¡°Well,¡± Topher said, ¡°she could learn a thing or two from you, Mr. Maxwell, on how to make it look easy.¡± I checked my watch to hide my irritation. I made it look easy because a monkey could do my job. ¡°One trick to that is to always arrive early. That way you look like you¡¯ve got a handle on everything and have time to rx. Doesn¡¯t hurt to chat with the other early arrivals. Those are the go-getters,¡± I said. Topher nodded, eager to put my advice to good use. ¡°The meeting is in conference room four.¡± I led the way. I had purposefully avoided Tasha after the holiday party. She had the kind of talent, smarts, and drive that made me nervous. Still, she¡¯d been like a beacon all through the rainy winter, and I¡¯d looked for her every day. I¡¯d finally decided to pull some strings and jump on her project, just to get the idea of her out of my system. I hoped she was every bit as uptight as Topher said, but our little run-in in the penthouse office had me worried. A warm rush apanied the memory of her wedged against me in the narrow door. Now, not only could I not take my eyes off her, but my body was drawn to her like a ma. The sess of her project was just a bonus. The early arrivals amounted to three executive assistants sent to take notes and the majority of Tasha¡¯s department managers.Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. Her team was impressive, still working hard despite the positive reception of the finished project. Still, when they saw me, work was forgotten, and out came the questions about the celebrities I had invited to theunch party. I regaled them with stories of the opulent party until they were roaring withughter. ¡°I see my hangover cure is working for you,¡± James called from the conference room doorway. The conference room fell into a hush. James Berger¡¯s reputation was neck and neck with mine, though he¡¯d gotten the bigger bonusst year. Now, he was the new standard of luxury living, and everyone regarded him with jealous awe. I got up and met him in the doorway with a hearty handshake. ¡°Didn¡¯t you take your tonic? You look like hell.¡± Jamesughed and pped me on the shoulder. ¡°That¡¯s what I get for taking a midnight helicopter ride down to Santa Cruz. Starlight beach volleyball is worth it, let me tell you.¡± I gritted my teeth but grinned. James never missed an opportunity to unt his outrageous spending, and it was going over great with the wide-eyed production team. ¡°I did all right with post-party dim sum and cocktails in Chinatown,¡± I said. ¡°Next time you hit the Li Po Lounge, try the White Dragon spritzer. I helped out with the recipe.¡± ¡°Perfect thing to mix up at my yacht party this weekend. You in? I know you don¡¯t have your sea legs, but she¡¯s a real gentle giant. We¡¯re taking her out to the Golden Gate Bridge and then over to Sausalito,¡± James said. ¡°I¡¯m telling you, Rainer, the yacht has opened up an entirely different world for me. Not that I don¡¯t love my helicopter, but the yacht is a whole new level.¡± ¡°Sorry, ensign, but I don¡¯t have a sailor suit,¡± I said. ¡°Besides, didn¡¯t you hear there¡¯s an exclusive happy hour over at the speakeasy? I got the password to open up every single secret tunnel.¡± Episode Forty-Eight Rainer¡¯s [POV] Jamesughed and wrapped an arm around my neck. ¡°I bet you do. That exins why I saw you with supermodels on each armst night. Oh, and here, that¡¯s the number for my tailor. He¡¯ll set you up with a suit even if you have to put it on a payment n.¡± I took the card and slipped it into my suit pocket. James was a braggart, but he had an enviable taste and no end of high-society connections. He was just the buddy I needed to give me ess to the best investment bankers. Whatever change I made from the GroGreen app was going right into high-return investments. It was time to close the financial gap between me and my brother. ¡°Trust me, Rainer, you won¡¯t regret it. Hey, I was just swinging in to congratte you on the press conference. Bang-up job. Next time you might want to pause longer before you answer the questions. Don¡¯t want to seem too slick,¡± James said. ¡°Isn¡¯t that what I told you about those rich debutantes you were afterst night?¡± I asked. ¡°You buy me lunch at Manny¡¯s and maybe we canpare notes.¡± ¡°Oh, no, I¡¯m not a fool,¡± James said. ¡°A little advice here and it is good, but I¡¯m not forgetting you¡¯re mypetition, and you shouldn¡¯t either. You got lucky jumping on this project. Took it right out of my ybook fromst year. That means it¡¯s on, Rainer. I¡¯m watching you.¡± He backed out of the conference room door, alternating pointing two fingers at his eyes and me. The employees around the conference tableughed at his antics. Topher, on the other hand, scribbled copious notes on the exchange; he wrote down anything he thought I could useter. With James Berger out of the way, the conference room began to fill up. I started interesting conversations here and there on my way back to my seat, but I was just keeping an eye on the door. It wasn¡¯t like Tasha to bete. Half the reason I¡¯d followed my good advice about arriving early was that I thought it was something someone like her might say. I had hoped for a chance to chat with her before the room got too crowded. Thest thing I wanted was for her to think I was just on her project for a quick payday. Tasha Nichols was the opposite of James Berger and all the more attractive for it. She dressed conservatively in tidy pencil skirts and suit coats that she could interchange without breaking the bank. My mind drifted to the array of bright, silky blouses she wore, but I shook off the tempting thoughts. Tasha knew how to work hard, make people respect her, and build her ster reputation. She was just the kind of colleague I needed to help me in the long run. ¡°Rainer, it¡¯s been months. How are you?¡± A leggy blonde with sharp eyes gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. A quick and clever charade by Topher saved me from fumbling for her name. ¡°Dora. You look lovely as ever.¡± The problem with watching the door is there were a lot of familiar faces that I wished had moved on to other jobs. Being the office yboy went over well with the old boys¡¯ club upstairs, but it was hell on my physical well-being. More than one of the women I had had pleasant encounters with now looked ready to y me alive. ¡°You really should call back,¡± Dora advised me in a cold tone. ¡°It¡¯s just tacky to ghost someone like that.¡± The advice echoed as I sat down and gave the doorway one more nce. I had given Tasha Nichols my number the night of the holiday party and watched her throw it away. This morning, she acted as if we had never spoken before, and it stung. I sat back and wondered if I would get the chance to talk to her more or if this whole project was just another bad line I couldn¡¯t take back. Tasha¡¯s [POV] I mmed the phone down so hard I almost chipped my clear nail polish. Iced my fingers together and squeezed tightly while I took a deep breath. Then I dialed again. ¡°You¡¯ve reached Mr. Rainer Maxwell¡¯s office. Please leave a message.¡± His executive assistant¡¯s voice was professional and crisp. My temporary assistant, Amy, didn¡¯t even look up when I rammed the phone back into the receiver. ¡°Of course, he got the best assistant. Naturally, he¡¯d get the efficient staff. I mean, how else does he sit around and chat all day?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Ms. T, did you say something?¡± Amy said around arge piece of gum. ¡°Hey, your nickname should be Misty. Get it?¡± ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°You don¡¯t?¡± I ground my teeth. ¡°I get what you¡¯re saying about the nickname, but, no. I don¡¯t need or want a nickname. Did you run over to Mr. Maxwell¡¯s office?¡± Amy leaned against the door. ¡°Yeah, he¡¯s hot.¡± ¡°You saw him?¡± I lunged for the door. ¡°He¡¯s all over the news,¡± Amy said. I stopped myself andced my fingers together again. With white knuckles, I turned around and stalked back to my desk. ¡°He¡¯s probably at yet another breakfast meeting,¡± I muttered. ¡°I bet he won¡¯t even show up for the meeting.¡± ¡°What meeting?¡± Amy asked. I still had a few minutes, so I opened a news site on myputer and hit y. Rainer Maxwell¡¯s smiling face cropped up within seconds. The business anchor announced the story and tossed it to some young reporter in horn-rimmed sses. The technology special reporter gave a quick synopsis of the GroGreen appunch. ¡°Industry leader, Hyperion Industries, located in the heart of San Francisco¡¯s tech movement, does it again with theunch of GroGreen. Imagine a master gardener,ndscaper, and flower expert in your pocket, and this amazing new application guarantees everyone will have a green thumb.¡± The news story cut to Rainer in the downstairs press room. ¡°GroGreen means anyone can be a gardener no matter how much time, space, and effort they have avable. Anything from teacup flowers to homestead farm plots, to virtual gardens are all made possible through GroGreen. Ever forget to water your nts? GroGreen has reminders and even tricks for keeping those neglected housents alive.¡± His lips were stiffer on television than in real life. The smile had just enough of a practiced edge to create little lines at the corners of his mouth. Rainer was a natural on camera, but it was nothingpared to the power he had in person. Especially close-up. When we were caught in the doorway, his mouth was rxed, curved in an easy smile just inches from my lips. I thought about the spice and leather of his cologne, the electric brightness of his eyes, then I shook my head hard. What was I doing? ¡°We at Hyperion respect Mother Nature and have finally found a way for Mother Nature to respect our busy schedules.¡± I scowled at the tele vision.N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. ¡°That¡¯s not part of the press release I signed off on.¡± Outside my office, I heard Amy¡¯s airy giggle. I scrambled to turn off the news website and craned my neck to catch a glimpse. If Rainer had gotten my message and stopped by, he was toote. I needed to get on my way to the meeting or I¡¯d bete. And I couldn¡¯t have him catch me daydreaming over his press conference. I pressed my hands to my cheeks and hoped the blush would fade. Then I saw who leaned on the corner of Amy¡¯s desk and gave a sigh of relief. Stanis Eastman, the Chief Operating Officer of Hyperion Industries, made my temporary assistantugh again with his dashing charm. He was only an inch or two taller than me but had a giant personality. Matched with his unapologetic silver hair and sky-blue eyes, he was a force to be reckoned with. I cleared my throat before he charmed my assistant right out the door to an early lunch. ¡°Don¡¯t you have a meeting to get to?¡± I asked Stan. ¡°I¡¯d say the same to you, but I¡¯m d I caught you. Shall we, my dear?¡± Stan held out his arm. ¡°Just let me grab my reports.¡± I ducked back into my office. Stan leaned closer to Amy and made her giggle erupt again. I rolled my eyes but smiled. Stan was incorrigible, and I¡¯d never seen him pass a woman without making her smile. He somehow walked the fine line between Don Juan and his boss without getting caught. Rainer reminded me of Stan, but young and almost childish. Stan had the elegance born of a century and a half of the high society breeding. His family was one of the oldest, wealthiest, and most respected in San Francisco. I wondered if Rainer would have the same devilish twinkle in his eyes when he got older. Stan slipped into my office and closed the door most of the way. ¡°You know, I really shouldn¡¯t be meeting with you behind closed doors. The office might talk,¡± he said. I jumped as if he¡¯d caught me and then Iughed. ¡°Isn¡¯t that exactly what you want?¡± ¡°Amy, honey,e in here,¡± Stan called out the door. Then he caught up my hand and kissed it. ¡°How could you stand me up at the opera like that?¡± I tugged my hand away from him but not soon enough. Amy gaped at us from the doorway. ¡°You know I was working on the productunch,¡± I told Stan. ¡°She¡¯s always ditching me for work,¡± Stanined to Amy. ¡°Did you tell her about those wine-tasting tickets?¡± Amy blinked and then nodded. ¡°She already turned them down.¡± ¡°Of course.¡± Stan sighed. ¡°I guess that¡¯s why she¡¯s my prodigy. Can¡¯t have your sessor running off to Napa or Sonoma any chance they get.¡± I swatted him after my dazed assistant returned to her desk. ¡°She¡¯s going to assume we¡¯re having an affair,¡± I said. ¡°Exactly,¡± Stan said. ¡°Tasha, darling, you¡¯re going to have to learn to y people¡¯s assumptions. It¡¯s the easiest way to get them to believe what you want.¡± I stacked up my reports and headed for the office door. ¡°I¡¯m not sure what I got out of that y. All you did there was give my temp some juicy gossip to spread.¡± Stan blocked my way. ¡°Trust me. Now she¡¯ll have more respect for you.¡± ¡°You mean you,¡± I said. ¡°No, you.¡± Stan grinned. ¡°Because she thinks you¡¯ve got me, and I am quite a catch.¡± ¡°You¡¯re quite something,¡± I muttered and tried to move past him. Stan sighed. ¡°That¡¯s the problem, Tasha. You¡¯re too honest to y the game. Don¡¯t get me wrong; your honesty has garnered you a lot of respect around here. The only problem with respect is that it keeps you at a distance. People want to know that you¡¯re real and that you have your wants and desires. That you¡¯re human.¡± I stood up straighter, at least an inch over him in my heels. ¡°I¡¯m inhuman now? I suppose you¡¯d rather I acted like Rainer Maxwell. All dimpled, devilish smiles and no work?¡± ¡°Rainer?¡± Stan stepped back and bumped my office door closed. ¡°Yes,¡± I said. ¡°Rainer. You know, the junior executive you and your cronies let on to my project at thest minute? His charming face is all over the headline news.¡± Episode Forty-Nine Tasha¡¯s [POV] ¡°I know who he is,¡± Stan said. ¡°I¡¯m just surprised to hear you mention him. Men like Rainer don¡¯t seem like your type.¡± ¡°No. No, I¡¯m not really into the type who jumps in and takes credit for someone else¡¯s hard work. Just because he likes to flirt with the camera and make little mini-speeches does not mean he¡¯s contributed to GroGreen.¡± I clutched my reports tight to my chest. Stan reached out and gentlyid his hands on my shoulders. ¡°Tasha, honey, everyone knows the hard work you put in on this. Rainer was just a way to make things a little easier on you. You don¡¯t like him?¡± ¡°He kind of reminds me of you,¡± I said. Stanughed at my sharp tone. ¡°I¡¯m going to take that as apliment for me and him. Now that I think about it, you two would be an unstoppable pair. Like us, if only we¡¯d met when I was younger.¡± I shook my head and smiled at him. ¡°Rainer Maxwell is a poor substitute for you.¡± ¡°Now you¡¯re just trying to make an old man feel good,¡± Stan said. His thumbs rubbed gentle circles over my shoulders. ¡°As far as I can tell all Rainer¡¯s good for is shaking hands, smiling, and picking up the tab at lunch. On thepany credit card, of course,¡± I said. Stan lifted his hands and held them up. ¡°Don¡¯t look at me; I didn¡¯t hire him. I also had nothing to do with letting him onto your project. Admit it, though; you¡¯re d someone else handled the P. R.¡± ¡°Maybe,¡± I admitted. ¡°I just don¡¯t like being on camera.¡± ¡°Shame to hear someone so lovely say that,¡± Stan said. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you do it this time?¡± I asked. Stan straightened his tie. ¡°Time to pass the torch, let the younger generation take over. Besides, I do think that you and Rainer would make a great team. You should give him a chance.¡± ¡°I will. Today, at the meeting. If he isn¡¯t there, then he¡¯s missed his chance,¡± I said. Stan grinned. ¡°Good. Make him earn it.¡± I reached around him and ignored his wider grin as I brushed past him. ¡°Speaking of the meeting, I don¡¯t want to bete.¡± Stan plucked the stack of reports out of my arms and carried them for me. ¡°Why not bete for once? You¡¯re the project leader. Make them all wait.¡± Amy nced up as we walked out of my office. She smiled at me and jumped right up. ¡°Is there anything I should do, Ms. Nichols?¡± ¡°Have you read the binder yet, Amy?¡± I asked. ¡°Uh, no. I guess I can do that,¡± Amy said. Stan winked at my temporary assistant. ¡°Be good to yourself, Amy. Listen to Ms. Nichols. You let her train you and the sky¡¯s the limit around here.¡± ¡°If I still have a job in an hour,¡± I said. Stanughed. ¡°You think that¡¯s the way this meeting is going to go?¡± ¡°Why? Do you know something? Tell me what you know.¡± I followed Stan so closely we bumped into each other when he stopped. ¡°I don¡¯t need to tell you anything,¡± Stan said. ¡°Did you create the best product you and your team could make? Yes. Did you listen to all the beta testers and make sure everything was right? Yes. Then you have nothing to worry about.¡± ¡°That¡¯s easy for you to say.¡± I tried to pry my reports out of his arms, but Stan held them, hostage. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t worry either if I had the entire Eastman fortune to back me up.¡± ¡°Just say the word, and it¡¯s yours,¡± Stan said. I swatted his shoulder. ¡°Stop. I have to get to this meeting. What kind of mentor keeps his prodigy from the most important meeting of her year?¡± Stan gave a melodramatic sigh. ¡°And here I thought my party was going to be the most important meeting of your year.¡± My insides froze. ¡°What party? Why?¡± Stanis Eastman lived in one of the most iconic and coveted mansions in Mill Valley. His parties were legendary, partly because he only threw one once in a blue moon, and always for a reason. Thest party had been to celebrate his surviving a heart attack. They always had a grim theme to contrast with the sparkling opulence. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that now. Just take your invitation, otherwise, you¡¯ll never get past the gates,¡± Stan said. He nodded to his suit coat pocket. I frowned at him, knowing he was up to no good. As soon as I reached into his pocket and felt the heavy, embossed card stock, Stanughed and sprang away as if I¡¯d tickled him. I snatched the ck envelope out of his pocket and held out my hands for my reports. He handed them over, gave me an irresistible wink, and headed off to the elevators. ¡°Good luck,¡± he called over his shoulder. I felt lucky as if Stan¡¯s charmed life was rubbing off on me until I reached the corner. I had to remember that a few important details separated my chances from Stan¡¯s. First off, he was raised with silver spoons, the best schools, and a path to sess paved just for him. That, and he was a male executive in what was still a man¡¯s world. Maybe the party was for me with its gothic ck invitations and ominous re. GroGreen had cost too much to produce, and I was being fired. I was sure of it. I started to race along the hallway. Of course, it was Stan¡¯s sense of humor I was dealing with. The funeral-style invitation could contain hearty congrattions for all I knew. Maybe I had cause to celebrate, and my mentor wanted to toast my sess. I slowed down when I saw James Berger leaning at the door of the conference room. He was trading jokes and barbs with someone inside, and his loudughter echoed down the hall. I could hear others chuckling as well, though I didn¡¯t know how they found him funny. James¡¯ suits were always too shiny, his style too shy, and his stories too over-the-top. He spent money as he hated it and it showed through his desperate attempts to seem worldly as well as wealthy. Wealthy was a word for Stanis Eastman. It implied an air of elegance and charm. James Berger was just rich. His name was synonymous with glitzy parties and ridiculous wastes of money. Whatever teasing exchange he¡¯d started, James ended with a gesture thatbined the thumbs up and the middle finger. As soon as he stepped beyond the door, I saw his expression drop. He looked tired and unhappy. ¡°All right, Tasha, see for yourself. Money might not buy happiness,¡± I whispered to myself. The thought stopped m e. For the past few years, ever since I joined Hyperion, I had judged my sess by my bank ount. By that standard, James Berger had wild sess. It took seeing his change of face to realize that real sess had toe from something else.Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. James passed me in the hall, his expression brightening to ascivious smile. ¡°Hey there. New around here?¡± I bit my lip hard and ignored him. The biggest meeting of my career was just steps away, and I wasn¡¯t going to let another junior executive get in my way. I marched past him and into the conference room doorway. There I froze again. I was so unustomed to beingte that the full room surprised me. Then surprise turned to dismay. The only open seat was next to Rainer Maxwell. He looked up and his electric-blue eyes locked onto mine. I felt a zing of excitement but told myself it was only the big news about to be revealed. If only I could sit next to anyone else, I might enjoy hearing how the productunch went. I scanned the room again, but it was a standing room only. Episode Fifty Tasha¡¯s [POV] ¡°Tasha, over here.¡± Rainer stood up and gestured to the open seat. The whole team nced up, and I had no choice. My department managers and team members made a path as I scooted around the long conference table toward Rainer. He smiled, and I felt another bloom of heat. I swore I told Amy to turn down the conference room thermostat before the meeting started. That many people packed into one room made everyone hot. Warm, I meant warm. Not hot. Rainer Maxwell was not hot. At least not to me. I took a deep breath and tried to stop my babbling thoughts. This was my meeting, and it already looked like I answered Rainer. I had to make sure to get the upper hand. ¡°Here. Looks like this seat is for you,¡± Rainer said. He pulled out the office chair and held out his hand. I pulled back my stack of reports and set them down on the long table myself. Dozens of curious eyes watched us. I couldn¡¯t believe it. Rainer was using chivalry to take control of the meeting. He looked like the leader, and I was just some girl sitting at his side. I ground my teeth. ¡°Thanks,¡± I managed to say in a civil tone. I sat down and exhaled a sharp sigh to ward off his warm and inviting scent of spice and leather. My cheeks felt hot but rushing down the hallways was responsible for that. The hard flex of his arm muscles against the soft, tailored wool of his suit coat drew my eyes, and I had to pretend to pluck an invisible speck of lint off my sleeve. His brown hair was so dark that it caught the shine of the conference room lights. Rainer wore it slicked back with some glossy product, and, for a moment, I imagined what his wavy hair would be like if it let loose. ¡°Nice to see you again, Ms. Nichols,¡± Rainer said. ¡°What? Oh, yes. Thanks, Raymond.¡± I held my breath. Rainer had me so tongue-tied that I called him the wrong name! Then Stan¡¯s wicked voice whispered in my head, and I rxed. My slip-up had the perfect effect. All around us, my team members assumed that I had no idea who Rainer Maxwell was. They turned back to the thick packets on the conference room table and resumed their normal conversations.Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. He was no big deal if I didn¡¯t know him. Rainer¡¯s best bet was to pretend he hadn¡¯t heard me call him the wrong name. Suddenly, he had to check the messages on his phone. I grabbed a packet from the middle of the conference table and gotfortable. Too bad the dense reports and vague tables swam in and out of my focus. He had strong hands. Not the manicured hands of a white cor worker, but the wide, square palms and long fingers of someone capable. The dusting of dark hair only heightened the masculine power. I wondered what those hands would feel like wrapped around my waist. ¡°Water?¡± Rainer asked. He poured me a tall ss with his phone propped on his shoulder. I cleared my throat again. ¡°Thanks.¡± His bright, blue eyes caught mine and I saw his expression narrow. I hadn¡¯t used the wrong name again, and now he was wondering if I knew his real name or not. I should have invited Stan to the meeting; he would have loved it. I sipped the water and forced myself to flip a few more pages. The real oue was buried somewhere in all the figures, but I couldn¡¯t make any sense of it. Just like I couldn¡¯t understand why the idental brush of Rainer¡¯s thigh made my pulse gallop. ¡°By the way, my name is Rainer,¡± he said. ¡°Is it? What did I say?¡± I feigned innocence. The man to Rainer¡¯s left snickered and elbowed him. ¡°I¡¯ve never known a woman to get your name wrong. Must be losing it.¡± ¡°Please,¡± Rainer said. ¡°We just haven¡¯t had a chance to get properly acquainted.¡± I didn¡¯t let the sidements derail me. ¡°Have we met before?¡± I asked Rainer. The little lines appeared at the corners of his mouth. He knew what I was doing, but there was no easy way out for him. ¡°I think we¡¯ve bumped into each other a few times,¡± he said. ¡°Must not have been that memorable, eh, Rainer?¡± another guy down the table chimed in. I checked the clock and prayed to God the CFO would start the meeting on time. If I had to sit there and pretend their juvenile locker room talk didn¡¯t bother me, I was going to lose it. ¡°Don¡¯t feel bad, man,¡± the guy next to Rainer said. ¡°No one below the top floor has ever attracted her attention.¡± Rainer arched an eyebrow and nced me over again. ¡°A woman with expensive taste is a lot of work.¡± The pre-meeting buzz was loud enough that I could pretend I didn¡¯t hear them. I seethed inside but kept my face nk and my eyes on the financial report in front of me. ¡°Sounds like a challenge,¡± the far guy said. Rainer¡¯s eager assistant leaned over his shoulder. ¡°n A, sir?¡± he asked. Rainer waved him away. ¡°I don¡¯t need a n.¡± ¡°So, you¡¯ll attempt it?¡± The guy next to him rubbed his hands together. ¡°Oh, man, wait until everyone hears you¡¯re going to melt the ice Queen.¡± I conjured up the image of Queen Elizabeth I. She knew the only way to lead was to stay above gossip, so she branded herself the Virgin Queen. It wasn¡¯t quite the same as my situation, but it kept me from attacking the childish men around Rainer. Rainer himself tried to wave them off. ¡°You know you¡¯re talking about your boss, right?¡± ¡°But she¡¯s not your boss, and that¡¯s the whole point.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve got better things to do. You realize we¡¯re at work, don¡¯t you?¡± Rainer asked. ¡°You work here?¡± I asked him before I could stop myself. ¡°I thought maybe you were a spokesperson the PR department hired.¡± The young men stifled theirughter, but it came out in childish snorts. Rainer glowered at them and then turned to me. He reached out and patted my hand. His eyebrows raised when he felt my nervous jolt. ¡°I think west ran into each other upstairs,¡± he said. No one else knew about the penthouse office or that I sneaked up there when I needed a lift. The smile on Rainer¡¯s lips told me he was ready to borate if I didn¡¯t stop him. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right. At the Vista Cafe. What was your name again?¡± His eyes narrowed, but he answered in an easy, rxed voice. ¡°Rainer Maxwell, junior executive for the public rtions department. I handled your press for you this morning.¡± I didn¡¯t like that he was already painting himself as a useful member of my team. ¡°Great. I¡¯m d the script I approved worked out for you.¡± Rainer leaned back in his chair. ¡°I added a few bits that I think went over very well,¡± he said. ¡°Not that your script wasn¡¯t good, it just wasn¡¯t exactly the image Hyperion was hoping for. I¡¯m d I was able to help out.¡± ¡°This morning,¡± I said. I couldn¡¯t hide my distaste any longer. ¡°If you know your way around the project reports, you would see that this product has taken well over a year to perfect. We took extra time with the beta-testing to ensure a product that users enjoyed. Everyone here worked very, very hard. So, thanks for jumping in at thest minute, changing a few words around, and contributing to GroGreen.¡± His colleagues were snickering again, and Rainer¡¯s expression had gone stiff. He did not appreciate my trade any more than I liked his presence at my meeting. Luckily, as soon as he opened his mouth to retort, the chief financial officer of Hyperion strode through the door and called the meeting to order. Episode Fifty-One Rainer¡¯s [POV] It was exhrating to be in that jam-packed meeting. With the chief financial officer standing at the head of the long conference table, I had shbacks to college. It felt just like the time my English literature ss had to switch rooms due to a stink bomb going off in the lecture hall. The conversation rippled and flowed so much faster with everyone tight together. I should have gone to more sses, I thought. Then I remembered why I had skipped so often. Tasha uncrossed her legs, then crossed them again, and a stab of lust hit me hard in the gut. It fit my yboy image, being so easily distracted by a great pair of legs. Frankie, the obnoxious social media star sitting directly to my left, noticed my gaze and elbowed me again. ¡°Pretty hot for an ice queen,¡± he whispered. I told him to shut his trap, but that only made his grin wider. Word was already traveling around the office via social media that a challenge had been issued. It was ridiculous and juvenile to make bets about women and romantic entanglements, but I had always participated before, and there was no reason to change. My image was working, it had gotten me this far, and I didn¡¯t want to lose it now. As if I could help myself. Tasha¡¯s long leg bounced back and forth just on the edge of my vision. She dressed conservatively, but just the hint of her ck high heels had my blood on fire. It was very easy to imagine pursuing Tasha, trailing my fingers up those long, silky legs. I nced over and she gave me a puckered smile. All I wanted to do was soften those rosy lips with a long, deep kiss. I had to look away before I started sweating. I nced over Frankie¡¯s shoulder and saw the notes he was sending out. In his telling, Frankie was the bold challenger who had found someone who might be impossible, even for me. It was ttering, in a way, but I was embarrassed. All around us, the team members were studying their thick packets, really understanding the reports and charts, and all I was good for was a side bet and a little entertainment. ¡°Shut it down, Frankie,¡± I said. ¡°Toote, man; it¡¯s already out there,¡± Frankie said. ¡°I¡¯ll let you know what the betting¡¯s liketer.¡± ¡°Later when I kick your ass?¡± I growled. Frankie leaned back, unsure how serious I was, then he shook his head. ¡°You almost had me there. I bet you¡¯re on this project just to get a little closer. Not that I can me you.¡± I leaned forward so he could not ogle Tasha. ¡°Concentrate on your work. No wonder you still work downstairs.¡± ¡°All right, all right. I get it. There¡¯s a time and a ce. We¡¯ll talk more at Benny¡¯s Dive Barter.¡± Frankie flipped through his packet and found the page we were all reviewing. I focused on the page and tried to concentrate on what the CFO was saying. It seemed ridiculous to me that all the reports and charts had nothing to do with the initial sales. Everyone was in the meeting to hear how much money their app had made Hyperion. Then again, as I looked around, I saw most people were engaged in the little details. They were taking notes, consulting with each other, and listening with rapt attention. It urred to me that Tasha¡¯s team cared more about their work than about the bottom line. I sat back and observed them as if they were an alien species. Tasha was leaning forward, marking copious notes in the margins of the packet, and cross-referencing things in her high stack of reports. As she shuffled through papers, she interjected, and never once did the CFO object to her additions. He nodded, agreed with her, asked her to borate for the rest of us, and shared the spotlight with her shining intelligence. ¡°So, you can see on page 37 that the extra time spent on beta-testing saved us when it came to bug checks and additional programming. We stayed focused, asked specific questions of our beta-testers, and took the time to consider all their input before we finished production. The wait saved us the extra work of undoing bad code and creating features that did not serve the customer,¡± Tasha said. ¡°Yes, exactly. Had Ms. Nichols not been able to convince us, the productunch would have been pushed back at least a month,¡± the CFO said. It was a turn-on how focused Tasha was in the meeting. She missed the subtlepliments from our boss and dug deeper into her reports. Her copper-colored hair was tied back with a in ck ribbon and delicate wisps curled along her neck. I found myself studying the creamy skin there instead of poring over the next page of tables and charts. Even Frankie was listening, hisscivious bets forgotten as he heard Tasha¡¯s tie-in with online discussion groups and techno-spection. She had a grasp on every angle of the project, and her team members appreciated how well she understood what they contributed. I sent Frankie a quick text: Is the Ice Queen a good boss? He ignored it until they moved on to the next page and started talking about print media. Then he smiled and texted back: The best. Hot and a hard ass, just the way I like ¡¯em. I fought the urge to punch him and texted: Then why bet against her? Frankieughed out loud and texted: My money¡¯s on her all the way. Not only will she break your heart, but she¡¯ll be your boss before you know it. I elbowed him sharply and was rewarded with Frankie¡¯s pained grunt. Tasha nced over with a sh of annoyance and then went back to her work. I leaned back again and continued to admire her as the meeting dragged on. Tasha was ready with an answer to every question the CFO asked. It was clear that something great had happened with GroGreen, but no one wanted to jump ahead to the good news. They wanted to take the time to study what they did, analyze what worked, and n to implement it in future projects. ¡°We need a more coherent strategy for the worldwide release with fail-safes in ce in case the server blinks out,¡± the CFO pointed out. Tasha responded with a five-point n for how they would fix the problem in the future, streamline the worldwide release, and time everything to fit the foreign markets. It felt good just sitting next to someone so talented. Tasha Nichols was clearly at the top of her game and only getting better. She had the respect of her team members, nods of approval from the top executives, and an organized air that made it feel like she could take over the world. She¡¯d already tried to brush me off multiple times, but the longer the meeting went, the surer I was that the smart move would be to hitch my wagon to her star. Tasha Nichols was really on her way up. I was deep into strategizing my next move when a bright blonde caught my eye from across the table. She smiled, but her eyes were icy, and she turned away sharply. I thought her name might have been Maureen, but it could have been Margaret. Something with an ¡®M.¡¯ It took a minute, but I remembered a steamy little interlude we¡¯d had a while back. In a supply closet, on a stack of copier paper, just before New Year¡¯s. Now that it was spring, I could see why she was giving me cold looks. Three suits down was another chilly nce, this time from a woman whose name I knew was Alice. She had gotten so upset that when she finally cornered me in the upstairs cafe, she¡¯d referred to herself in the third person. ¡°Alice deserved a callback.¡± I chewed on the inside of my cheek as my eyes traveled around the packed meeting and took stock. It was no shock that Frankie and my other colleagues thought of me as a yboy. There were at least five women in the conference room who I had romanced. More than one looked at me with disdain, but the majority wetted their lips or yed with the necklines of their blouses, surefire signs they¡¯d be willing to give me another chance.Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. Normally, I would have spent the rest of the meeting selecting which beautiful woman to approach first, but today everything was off. I was sick of my tomcat reputation and jealous of the respect Tasha was garnering. Sure, I got plenty of ps on the back from the higher-ups, but that was because they were my buddies. We yed golf, drank expensive whiskey, and bragged about our conquests. It turned my stomach. I sat up and tried to focus on the packet again, but my stomach was clenched. I pressed a hand to it, annoyed that I was letting Tasha Nichols throw me off my game. She noticed my pained gesture and poured me a ss of water. ¡°Thank you,¡± I said. ¡°Just returning the favor,¡± she whispered. Tasha shuffled through her papers again and located the answer to the CFO¡¯s newest musing. What she failed to see was the notice her small kindness had garnered. Frankie was grinning and sending out messages again. My former flings were narrowing their eyes at her. There were spective nces from most of the team members. Tasha and I were the only two junior executives in the room, sitting side-by-side, and sharing whispers. I suddenly felt like the tiny stic man on the top of a wedding cake. ¡°Is it hot in here?¡± I asked Tasha. She nced up, her mind on the report in front of her. ¡°Are you feeling all right?¡± ¡°Rainer. This is a perfect time for us to segue to your press conference,¡± the CFO said. ¡°You did a great job fielding a range of questions, and I think you gave the consumers a good idea of what GroGreen can do for them. Sales saw a spike directly after you were done.¡± Tasha¡¯s back was ramrod straight, but she turned in her chair, like the rest of the team, and waited to hear what I would have to say. ¡°I didn¡¯t do much but read the script Ms. Nichols and the team provided. Really good work, everyone,¡± I said. Tasha¡¯s frown told me she wasn¡¯t buying it. ¡°I think he wants you to reiterate that line you added, the one you thought might make a good slogan.¡± ¡°Well, we haven¡¯t had a chance to meet about that,¡± I told Tasha. I hoped to toss the spotlight back to her might lessen her frown, but it seemed to be making it worse. Plus, it was uncharacteristic of me, and my colleagues would be sure toment. I cleared my throat. ¡°I simply pointed out that the brilliant GroGreen app makes it easy to put Mother Nature on a schedule that fits our busy lives.¡± ¡°Yes, that¡¯s it,¡± the CFO said. ¡°The bit about Mother Nature respecting our busy lives.¡± Tasha¡¯s look darkened, so I spoke to up again. ¡°It¡¯s more about how the respect is mutual now.¡± Tasha sniffed, unimpressed with the new direction. She opted out of the conversation by flipping the page and starting up her note-scribbling again. ¡°I like it; I think it appeals to today¡¯s busy consumer. They love the idea of gardens, they want a garden, but it¡¯s a lot of work. GroGreen breaks it down into manageable tasks and syncs it to our daily calendars.¡± The CFO nodded his approval at me. ¡°I¡¯m not sure it sounds all that respectful, sir,¡± Tasha said. She gripped her pen so hard her knuckles were white, so I knew she¡¯d been struggling to hold her tongue. ¡°It sounds as if we¡¯re bragging that our app can control the cycles of nature. We can¡¯t just jump in and take credit for power we don¡¯t have. The app is meant to encourage people to notice the seasons, work with them, and make them a healthy part of their lives. Not the other way around.¡± ¡°It¡¯s perfect for the virtual gardening tool.¡± Frankie put down his phone and spoke up. ¡°GroGreen is realistic enough to give people an authentic experience while also making it avable at any time.¡± ¡°Authentic means people would be growing their gardens,¡± Tasha corrected him. ¡°And the virtual gardening tool is meant as a side amusement, not the app¡¯s main focus.¡± ¡°Games are big business,¡± I said. Episode Fifty-Two Rainer¡¯s [POV] Tasha skewered me with a look. ¡°GroGreen is meant to be much more than a game.¡± Frankie flipped back through his packet. ¡°The virtual gardening tool went over huge with the beta testers. The top words used were realistic, beautiful, and authentic.¡± The meeting erupted into a flurry of disagreements and side conversations. The CFO stepped back and let the team hash out new ideas. He knew something we did not. ¡°Have you been in a gardentely?¡± Tasha asked me. ¡°It¡¯s not supposed to be about control.¡± ¡°What about farmers, and those crazy people who create amazing hybrid roses? It seems like gardening is, at its root, about controlling Mother Nature,¡± I said. ¡°Oh, shit, that¡¯s good,¡± Frankie said. He sent out another flurry of messages. Tasha raked her dark-brown eyes over me again. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t be surprised that you missed the point of GroGreen entirely. I mean, this is the first time you¡¯ve worked on it.¡± I caught her arm before Tasha could turn away in a huff. ¡°Look, I¡¯m sorry. You¡¯re right. Today¡¯sment at the press conference was off-the-cuff, and I should have run it past you first.¡± She looked at my hand on her suit coat sleeve and then up at me. ¡°So, even you get nervous on camera?¡± Tasha asked. Her eyes softened, and I felt my insides melting to moltenva. ¡°I don¡¯t get nervous on camera,¡± I said, ¡°but I am out of practice working on a team.¡± ¡°Well, you¡¯re on one now,¡± Tasha said, ¡°and you better get used to it if you want to go any further.¡± My throat tightened as thoughts of how far I wanted to go with her shed through my head. I cleared my throat. ¡°Maybe the line about Mother Nature respecting us could use a little more thought.¡± The meeting quieted down, and all eyes turned back toward Tasha and me. ¡°Rainer¡¯sment focused on only one aspect of our app, and we need to make sure we introduce consumers to all of the amazing things GroGreen can do,¡± Tasha said. My hand was still on her sleeve, so I felt her go rigid when Frankie called out. ¡°Sorry, it¡¯s already all over social media.¡±N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. ¡°Take it back,¡± I said. I reluctantly pried my hand from Tasha¡¯s arm and turned to face Frankie. ¡°I know you can delete a post.¡± ¡°It¡¯s already gotten over five hundred hits,¡± Frankie said. He tapped the thick packet. ¡°That¡¯s outpacing the majority of our top posts by twenty hits per minute.¡± I didn¡¯t dare look back at Tasha, but I could feel her tension. Being near her was like sitting next to a generator: I could practically hear the gears churning in her head. The CFO took control of the meeting again, and everyone turned back to the packet. I fought the urge to break Frankie¡¯s phone because it lit up and shed every time he got a new notification. Other team members were watching their media too, and it was hard to bring the full attention of the meeting back to the review. I sat up and leaned shoulder to shoulder with Tasha. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. They say any press is good press, right?¡± ¡°For reality stars and celebrities, maybe,¡± Tasha snapped. ¡°For technology, especially apps like GroGreen, one misstep could mean a sharp decline in sales.¡± I looked around at all the shing phones. ¡°Do you think this looks like a decline in sales?¡± I asked. Tasha ignored me and turned the page, following along as another chart was exined. I patted my suit coat in a futile search for a pen. Topher leaned forward andid one on my shoulder. I took it and thanked him with a nod. Then I leaned forward again and scribbled ¡®I¡¯m sorry¡¯ on the corner of Tasha¡¯s packet. She tried to brush it off as if it was a dirty smudge. I put an elbow on the conference room table and whispered to her behind my hand. ¡°I am. I shouldn¡¯t have spoken without your support. I know that¡¯s not how teams work and I¡¯m sorry.¡± She shoved my elbow off the table. ¡°Stop whispering to me. I don¡¯t even know you, and I¡¯m trying to concentrate.¡± Tasha was concentrating so hard she didn¡¯t see the interest our little exchanges were garnering. It didn¡¯t matter if the lower floor boys were cing bets on us; people could see there was something between us. Now, I just had to convince Tasha it was more than workcepetition and irritation. I was attracted to her, she inspired me to work, and everyone knew that opposites often forged great teams. This little app of hers was fast bing the best thing I had ever worked on, and I hadn¡¯t even downloaded the thing myself. If I yed my cards right, this project would pay off, and no one would have to know the real reason I joined the team. Now, I was certain that I had felt something when we danced at the holiday party. I knew because the same crackling fireworks were back in my stomach. And I still couldn¡¯t take my eyes off her. ¡°All right, folks, that concludes the review. I¡¯m going to ask that everyone except junior executives and department managers leave at this time. You will hear moreter when you have your separate department meetings,¡± the CFO said. The conference table erupted as the majority of people stood up to leave. I spun around in my chair and nodded to Topher. ¡°That means you too. Don¡¯t worry; I¡¯ll catch you upter.¡± Topher was ready to argue, but Tasha cut him off. ¡°If you have somewhere else to be, like a lunch meeting, I can just send your assistant my notes.¡± I saw the sh of ambition in Topher¡¯s eyes. ¡°Ms. Nichols, I noticed your assistant is not here. If you¡¯d like me to stay and take the notes for you, I¡¯d be more than happy.¡± ¡°Oh, no,¡± I said. ¡°No one¡¯s poaching my assistant. That¡¯s not very team-like.¡± Tasha caught the arch of my foot with her heel as she turned around. ¡°Thank you,¡± she said to Topher, ¡°but I¡¯ve had this handled from the beginning. I¡¯ve got it from here.¡± She expected me to get up and leave with the crowd, but I stayed put. ¡°Are you a big gardener, Ms. Nichols?¡± I asked her. Sadness flickered across her face and was gone. ¡°My family had arge garden. One of my first chores was to weed it.¡± I waited for her to return the question, but Tasha swiveled back to the conference table. I kept the conversation going anyway. ¡°The best I ever did was sprouting seeds in old soup cans. I think it was a Mother¡¯s Day project at school or something.¡± Tasha nced over her shoulder. ¡°You don¡¯t look like the gardening type,¡± she said. ¡°Are you kidding? I would love a garden.¡± I had her attention now. ¡°Some days it feels like all we do is send emails out into the ether, watch posts on little screens, and type documents that never get printed. Getting my hands dirty, growing something from seed, that would feel almost like a cure.¡± ¡°For some reason, I picture you gardening in your tailored suit,¡± Tasha said. Her smile sneaked out. ¡°Maybe with a big floppy sunhat.¡± ¡°Laugh all you want,¡± I said, ¡°but you can¡¯t tell me the hands-on aspect of gardening isn¡¯t the most appealing part of it. Don¡¯t you want to produce something solid? Grow something real?¡± Tasha¡¯s expression cooled. ¡°This is real. I¡¯ve grown this product from the very first brainstorming session.¡± ¡°Did your family ever grow little cherry tomatoes? Or strawberries? I always loved the idea of walking through a garden and being able to taste what I helped grow,¡± I said. The smile returned, tentatively. ¡°My favorite was chives,¡± Tasha said. ¡°I loved chewing on them while I was out in the yard.¡± ¡°And fresh herbs for cooking? Can you imagine how great that would be?¡± I asked. Tasha grinned. ¡°You might be the target demographic we were going for first-time gardeners who have the desire and just need a little help.¡± The fireworks in my stomach were heating up. ¡°And what about you? Don¡¯t you want to create something you can harvest? I mean, something you can hold in your hands?¡± ¡°Fine. I¡¯ll admit that aspect of gardening appeals to me.¡± Tasha had turned her chair towards me, but she snapped back when she realized the others in the room were listening. The meeting was down to only six of us, two junior executives, and the four department managers. I was sure that I would be asked to leave and I shifted to the edge of my office chair when the CFO shut the door. ¡°Now that I have the core team here, I feel that I should warn you: what I¡¯m going to say next is going to be a shock,¡± he said. It seemed to take forever for him to walk back to his ce at the head of the long conference table. ¡°The reports all look favorable so far, sir,¡± Tasha said. ¡°I¡¯m sure once we focus our media strategy, the sales will meet our expectations.¡± The CFO nodded but scrubbed a hand hard over his mouth. ¡°I¡¯m not sure you¡¯re getting my drift, Ms. Nichols,¡± he said. ¡°Sir, there are a lot of people who worked very hard on this app. They sacrificed time with their families, and everything so we could make the best possible product. Please consider them before you give us the axe.¡± Tasha¡¯s hand was out on the table, near mine, as if unconsciously seeking support. ¡°She¡¯s right about the reports, sir,¡± I said. ¡°The buzz has been considerable, and I¡¯m sure the sales will take off.¡± ¡°Now, you I can understand, Rainer,¡± the CFO said. ¡°You were at the productunch party until the wee hours of the morning and spent the rest of the night God knows where. But you, Ms. Nichols. I¡¯m surprised. Do you have no idea what¡¯s happened with GroGreen?¡± Tasha pressed her hand harder on the conference table. ¡°I do, sir. I¡¯ve watched it like a hawk since our first meetings. I don¡¯t understand why you don¡¯t think it will seed. I can prove it to you.¡± The CFO held up both hands to ward off another pie chart. Then his expression broke and a surprising peal ofughter burst out. ¡°Ms. Nichols, please, I respect your ardor, but you need to listen. I¡¯m trying to give you good news.¡± ¡°Good news?¡± Tasha asked, confused. ¡°GroGreen has far outreached our wildest expectations. Sales reached astronomical numberste this morning. We are strategizing how this sess will affect your team members, but as junior executives, you are automatically shareholders.¡± I leaned forward and caught Tasha¡¯s hand in mine. ¡°We¡¯re automatic shareholders in a runaway sess?¡± I asked the CFO ¡°That is good news.¡± Heughed again. ¡°More than that, Rainer. You and Tasha just made billions.¡± Episode Fifty-Three Tasha¡¯s [POV] A loud buzzing took over my head. I could see the CFO¡¯s mouth moving, but the words couldn¡¯t reach me over the tsunami of sound. It built to a roar, and I shook my head. Finally, I could hear my stuttering attempts at speech. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, what did you say?¡± I asked. The CFO smiled as if it was one big joke. ¡°I said that as junior executives, you are automatically shareholders in GroGreen. With the astronomical sales and our current projections, you and Rainer are now billionaires.¡± ¡°No,¡± I said, shaking my head again. He had to be kidding. It was all just an office prank. That would exin the sudden appearance of Rainer and his flirting with me. Men like him hardly ever noticed me, and when they did, it was just to make lewd suggestions. Rainer had been interested. It made more sense now that I suspected it was a joke. I turned to look at Rainer and was shocked to find I was clutching his hand. His grip tightened and he leaned closer. ¡°This is good news, Tasha. Congrattions.¡± I searched his face, waiting for the punchline, but he only smiled and squeezed my hand again. ¡°We just made billions,¡± Rainer said. That broke the spell, and I tugged my hand away. Had he known all along and jumped on my projectst minute just to get a giant paycheck? Our CFO was exining how the sess would be shared out amongst the departments. As he coached the department managers on how to share the news and still keep order amongst the staff, I studied Rainer. A bemused smile came and went across his handsome face. I noticed he was pale and little beads of sweat had broken out on his forehead. No one came bursting through the door to yell ¡®gotcha,¡¯ and it started to settle in that this was real. ¡°I can¡¯t believe it,¡± Rainer said. Both our phones lit up with sales reports, projections, and financials. He nced at his phone and then flopped back in his chair. I scoured the forwarded documents, looking for a mistake, or a hint at who pulled such a huge prank. There was nothing. All the numbers added up. The truth of the matter was that GroGreen was an instant sess. ¡°I knew it,¡± I said even though I still didn¡¯t quite believe it. The beta testers had loved GroGreen, and the word had spread before we even set a release date. I had purposefully kept my focus off sales, but even I had heard the volume of downloads and realized it was more than we usually saw. The top executives kept the growing phenomenon to themselves until the foreign markets opened. That¡¯s when the numbers rocketed up into the stratosphere. ¡°So, I can see you might need a little more time to process this information,¡± the CFO said. Rainer barkedughter. ¡°I¡¯m going to need a little more time just to count the zeros at the end of this number.¡± The CFO chuckled as he headed for the door. ¡°Take the rest of the day. Celebrate, rx, and enjoy it. Just keep in mind this will create quite a bit of excitement and chaos in the office. Be mindful to keep it to yourselves for now.¡± ¡°Wait,¡± I yelped. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t your department set up financial advisement meetings? What are we supposed to do with all this money?¡± Rainerughed again andid a hand on my shoulder. ¡°You are the only person in the world who would think that right after the news we got.¡± He helped me to my feet, and I fought the urge to cling to him. Rainer might have conned his way onto my team, but he was the closest thing I had to an ally at this point. He was the only other person in the office who was in the same position. My department managers rushed around the table and saved me from my thoughts. After an excited round of handshakes and chatter, they too headed for the conference room door. Rainer paused and started to shut the door. ¡°You can take a minute; hell, you can take all day if you want,¡± he said. ¡°Don¡¯t shut the door,¡± I said. ¡°I think we¡¯ve given the office enough to talk about for one day.¡± His blue eyes lit up with amusement. ¡°I was just thinking you needed a quiet minute, but whatever you thought I meant sounds like a lot more fun.¡± I frowned at him and pulled the conference room door open again. ¡°I didn¡¯t think anything. I don¡¯t think about you. In that way.¡± A grin spread across his handsome face. ¡°Well, then, what do you think about lunch? My treat.¡± I backed away from the maism of that smile, bumping back into the conference table. ¡°I can¡¯t.¡± ¡°Boss says we¡¯ve got the rest of the day off,¡± Rainer said. He advanced until he was just inches away. ¡°Think about it, Tasha; no one could have done a better job. Your work here is done.¡± I held up my hands, prepared to shove him back, but I hesitated to touch him. There always seemed to be warm waves of heat whenever I touched Rainer. ¡°I like my work,¡± I said. ¡°Besides, you heard the CFO: this news is going to cause chaos. I have to stick around and make sure I¡¯m avable for my team.¡± The distinct sound of a champagne cork popping sounded down the hallway. Rainer reached out and caught my hand. ¡°Sounds like your team might have the right idea. It¡¯s time to celebrate. Come on, anywhere you want to go for lunch.¡± I found the strength to push him away but couldn¡¯t quite pull my hand out of his grip. ¡°No, thanks. You go ahead. You earned it. Oh, wait. . .¡± Rainer let go of my hand and didn¡¯t say anything until I reached the door. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Tasha, one of these days you¡¯ll let me make it up to you.¡± I had to get away from Rainer before I made aplete fool out of myself. In my rush, I bumped into the conference room door. I didn¡¯t dare look behind me, but I heard Rainer¡¯s chuckle. It sent pleasant tingles up the back of my neck. He was entirely too tempting, leaning there on the conference table. His dark hair hade loose from its slick style at some point during the meeting, and I longed to brush back the wayward waves. And look into those electric eyes. ¡°Get a hold of yourself,¡± I warned myself as I started down the hallway. Our floor looked more like a dormitory party than an office. People hung out in doorways holding stic cups of bubbling champagne. Clumps of my colleagues stood around andughed, their conversations loud with excitement and bright with the good news. So much for keeping the information quiet. Between the news, Rainer, and the crowded hallway, I took a wrong turn and had to take the long way back to my office. All along the way people stopped me and shook my hand. Then there would be a funny pause as they didn¡¯t know what else to say to me. I used to feel like I was from a different every time I walked down the Hyperion hallways, but now I felt like a visitor from a different gxy altogether. It was a relief to hear my colleagues talking about the bonuses they received. Hyperion Industries was at least good at sharing its sesses. Each extra-loaded check was immediately justified by my co-workers. ¡°Well, I did help approve the new logo,¡± I heard one of the other junior executives say. ¡°So, what are you going to do with your bonus?¡± his buddy asked. The junior executive grinned. ¡°New car. First thing. A few of us are heading to the big dealership on Van Ness in ten minutes. You in?¡± ¡°I can¡¯t wait to see my wife¡¯s face when I pull into the driveway in a new sports car.¡± Those who weren¡¯t talking about cars were talking about vacations, new homes, entertainment systems, and boats. I only counted one interesting conversation that included interior design and art collecting. Not once in the entire length of the hallway did I hear anybody talking about investments or savings. ¡°Is there a party going on?¡± Amy asked when I finally reached my office. ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to get that?¡± I asked. Amy frowned at the ringing phone. ¡°It hasn¡¯t stopped ringing for the past half an hour. I didn¡¯t know how to answer anyone¡¯s questions, so I¡¯m just letting it go to voicemail.¡± I gritted my teeth. ¡°At least set it to go directly to voicemail so we don¡¯t have to listen to it ringing,¡± I said. ¡°How do I do that?¡± ¡°Amy, please,¡± I said, pressing a hand to my forehead. ¡°Please tell me you read through the binder. I even included the phone instructions.¡± ¡°Oh, sure, no problem, Ms. Nichols,¡± Amy said. ¡°Thank you.¡± I stopped at my office door and wondered at her sudden willingness to help. ¡°Amy, what did you hear about the ¡®party¡¯ that¡¯s going on?¡± Amy heaved the binder into the center of her desk and smiled up at me. ¡°I heard that you made thepany billions of dors. I figured you¡¯d be out celebrating, that¡¯s why I was letting the phone ring. If I were you, I¡¯d head right over to Union Square. All the best stores are there, and now you can buy whatever you want.¡± So everyone knew. I wasn¡¯t surprised at how fast word spread, especially on our floor, but it was daunting. There was no telling if my fellow junior executives would like me more because of my sess or have further reason to ostracize me. The weight of it was just settling onto my shoulders, and I couldn¡¯t listen to Amy¡¯s sage shopping advice anymore. ¡°Hold all my calls. I mean, just let them go to voicemail,¡± I said. I started to shut my office door, but it popped open behind me. ¡°There¡¯s not a single closed door on this entire floor, yours can¡¯t be the only one.¡± Rainer propped it back open with his shoulder as he carried two stic cups of champagne. ¡°I figured if you are feeling anything like I am, you might need one of these by now.¡± It was hard not to feel relieved at the sight of him.Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. Still, I retreated to my desk to stop myself from leaning against him. It was only the camaraderie of our situation that I was feeling, and nothing else. ¡°Thanks, I guess it wouldn¡¯t hurt to have one ss,¡± I said. ¡°How are you feeling?¡± ¡°As I owe you a billion bucks,¡± Rainer said. Iughed, and the fizzy champagne bubbles tickled my nose. ¡°Thanks, but no thanks. I can¡¯t even wrap my head around the money that I¡¯ve got.¡± ¡°Exactly,¡± Rainer said, leaning on the corner of my desk. ¡°I keep checking my bank ount every few minutes because it doesn¡¯t seem real.¡± ¡°I thought you were all ying a prank on me,¡± I said. I flopped down in my desk chair and took a long sip of the sparkling champagne. Rainer¡¯s smile turned into a crinkled frown. ¡°You think it¡¯s us against you?¡± ¡°I know how corporate America works, and I didn¡¯te to Hyperion to make friends,¡± I said. ¡°Is that why I never see you out at the happy hours or parties?¡± Rainer asked. I sat forward and turned on myputer. ¡°No. I¡¯ve just been busy. The work is more important to me than the socializing.¡± He nodded but pinned me with a serious look. ¡°I suppose you just proved your method, but I like to believe there should be a bnce between work and building rtionships.¡± ¡°Rtionships, who¡¯s got time for those?¡± I snorted and then realized I had spoken out loud. Rainerughed. ¡°I hear you there, but I was talking about work rtionships. You know, the wholeworking approach. I could give you a few tips if you¡¯d like.¡± Episode Fifty-Four Tasha¡¯s [POV] I scowled up at him. ¡°No, thanks, I don¡¯t think I need advice from you. Your working,¡¯ as you call it, isn¡¯t the approach I want to take.¡± He stood up, frowning again. ¡°A lot of that is just for show. You know that, right?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know anything about you,¡± I said. ¡°You just showed up today, attached to my project, and now we¡¯re supposed to be a team. Well, I¡¯m not buying it.¡± Rainer¡¯s lips were stiff, but he tried to smile. ¡°Speaking of buying, I¡¯m still offering to take you out to lunch. Then, maybe, you can get to know me a little better before you condemn me.¡± It was all too much. The entire morning had been a whirlwind, and I couldn¡¯t help feeling like Rainer was the cause of it. Ever since I saw him in my penthouse haven, he¡¯d set the day on a crazy course. I jumped up, agitated, and paced around my desk to put some distance between us. ¡°No, thank you.¡± I reached the door and held it open for him. ¡°I don¡¯t need you to buy me lunch, especially not with the money you made today.¡± ¡°Because I didn¡¯t earn it,¡± Rainer said. ¡°Exactly.¡± He sauntered to the door and held up his stic ss in a toast. ¡°Then here¡¯s to my big chance to help your team.¡± ¡°How are you going to do that now?¡± I asked. Rainer¡¯s lips curved in a smirk. ¡°GroGreen has seeded beyond anyone¡¯s wildest dreams. With all the sales and media attention, you are most definitely going to need a good public rtions man on your team. Luckily, you¡¯ve got me.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve got you,¡± I repeated, confused by the rush of excitement those words gave me. Rainer grinned. ¡°And maybe one of these days you¡¯ll learn to appreciate me.¡± ¡°What I¡¯d appreciate is a few minutes of quiet so I can get back to work,¡± I said. I shoved him out the door and ignored the wide-eyed look Amy gave us both. ¡°Have a nice lunch.¡± I shut my office door and stalked back to my desk, but I couldn¡¯t sit down. Instead, I paced around my small office and glowered at the gray building that blocked my view. Rainer had a great view from his office on the other side of the building, and it irked me that there might be something to his bnce theory. Now, more than ever, I needed to watch my position at Hyperion. I couldn¡¯t let my billions force me into early retirement. This was not the zenith of my career, and there was no way I was going to lose my momentum now. I paced around again and tried to shake off Rainer¡¯s words. He was right about having better working rtionships than me, and he was certainly better on camera. And the real truth of the matter was that I was stuck with him. His name was now tied to GroGreen as much as mine, and, if I was smart, I would take advantage of that. If it had been anyone else, I wouldn¡¯t have thought twice about it. There was just something different about Rainer. I could still see his eyes, and that faintly lost smile when we heard the news. I wrenched open my office door and marched past a shocked Amy. ¡°I¡¯m heading home for lunch. Call my cell if anything elsees up. And read that binder.¡± ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am,¡± Amy said. I ignored her silly salute and headed for the stairwell. I needed to keep moving and paced around as the valet brought my dented old car to the front for me. I gave him a tip, then added more, fully aware that even the valets had heard the good news. It was going to be hard to learn how to spend money like I had millions. Except I had billions. My hands shook on the steering wheel and I pushed the thought out of my head. All I needed was to get home. It felt like I couldn¡¯t breathe until I¡¯d driven across the bridge and put Hyperion behind me. By the time I wound up the hilly streets of my East Bay neighborhood, I was able to take a deep breath. I let it all go in a long sigh when I saw my sister trundling up my steep front steps. Barbie was six months pregnant, and the sight of her rounded belly suddenly put everything into perspective. She and her husband, plus the little life growing inside her, were the only family I had. Since our parents had passed away, my older sister was the only real contact I had outside of work. She turned around on the top step and waved as I pulled into the driveway. ¡°I brought you a geranium,¡± she called. ¡°The scent is good for stress.¡± Iughed and suddenly couldn¡¯t stop. Barbie heard the note of hysteria and started back down the steep steps. ¡°No, I¡¯m fine,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ming up. I¡¯m fine.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t believe you after the first ¡®fine,¡¯ and now I¡¯m worried,¡± Barbie said. ¡°Let me guess; it¡¯s working again?¡± ¡°You have no idea,¡± I said. I looked at my lovely sister through tearful eyes. ¡°And I don¡¯t care,¡± Barbie said and pulled me into a fierce hug. ¡°I¡¯ve always told you that if it doesn¡¯t make you happy, you should quit. Who cares about the money? Ted and I can help you out; that¡¯s what family is for.¡± The hystericalugh bubbled out again. ¡°We don¡¯t have to worry about money ever again,¡± I told her. Barbie snorted. ¡°So, what are you crying for?¡± I sat down on the steps and sniffled. ¡°Thank you for the geranium,¡± I said. My sister lowered herself carefully to the step next to me. ¡°It¡¯s a cutting from my garden. Did I tell you that I transnted the pink geranium from Mom and Dad¡¯s? It¡¯s been growing like crazy, and I thought you might like it.¡± I dropped my head to my hands and started sobbing. Barbie took it in stride, the same way she handled everything, and I leaned on her. My older sister was my rock and my inspiration. No matter what life threw at her, she turned it into magic. The same way she had taken the dried-out lot at her house and turned it into a verdant, blooming garden. It made me think of GroGreen again, and I felt another rise of hysteria. ¡°That¡¯s enough,¡± Barbie said in a firm voice. ¡°Tell me what happened.¡± ¡°I made a billion dors today,¡± I said. Barbie was the only person in the world who could hear something like that and just nod. She knew I was telling the truth and she saw straight through the news and right to the heart of the matter. ¡°It¡¯s not toote for you to have it all. There¡¯s nothing that says you can¡¯t be rich, sessful, and happy. All you need is the right match.¡± Iughed and wiped away my tears. ¡°Leave it up to you to turn this into a matchmaking opportunity.¡± ¡°All I¡¯m saying is you wouldn¡¯t be crying over good news on your front step if you had someone to celebrate with,¡± Barbie said. She heaved to her feet and pulled me up. ¡°I always knew you¡¯d make it big; it was exactly what you set out to do. The big question is what are you going to do now?¡± ¡°Hide?¡± I asked. Barbie swatted my shoulder. ¡°You¡¯ve never hidden from anything in your life. And I¡¯m not about to let you be one of those odd, reclusive rich people.¡± ¡°Speaking of odd and rich,¡± I held up my phone. ¡°Is that my Stanis?¡± Barbie asked. She snatched the phone from my hand.N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. ¡°Hello, darling. You calling to congratte our girl?¡± I tried to grab the phone back, but Barbie used her baby bump to hold me back. ¡°Yes, she¡¯s right here,¡± Barbie told Stan. ¡°Having a little bit of breakdown, but you know our girl; she¡¯ll snap out of it. I¡¯m doing fine, thanks. The baby is growing every day. Soon I¡¯ll be the size of a car.¡± ¡°Barbie, give me the phone,¡± I said. ¡°Now we just need to find Tasha the right match, so my baby can grow up with dozens of cousins,¡± Barbie teased me. ¡°Sure thing. Here she is, Stan.¡± I snatched the phone and heard Stan chuckling. ¡°I like your sister, Tasha. She¡¯s good people.¡± ¡°Personally, I think the pregnancy hormones are messing with her head,¡± I told him. ¡°Speaking of messing with your head, how did the meeting go?¡± Stan asked. Barbie took my house keys, picked up the bright geranium, and let herself into my condo as I talked to my mentor. ¡°You knew, didn¡¯t you? Stan, I would have appreciated a heads-up.¡± ¡°And ruin the surprise? No way,¡± Stan said. ¡°Did your eyes pop out when you saw your bank ount?¡± ¡°Well, now that you brought it up, I could use some advice about investing. Could you please rmend a financial advisor?¡± I asked. ¡°Definitely,¡± Stan said, ¡°but you have to do me a favor first.¡± ¡°What favor?¡± I asked. Barbie poked her head back out the door, ready as always to side with Stan against me. ¡°Whatever it is, tell him I¡¯ll make sure you do it.¡± Stanughed, overhearing her. ¡°Good, because I know you¡¯re going to try to wriggle out of it. I made you an appointment with a personal shopper. I thought a new wardrobe was just the thing to help you celebrate.¡± ¡°No, absolutely not,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m not going to waste my day shopping for clothes. I just came home for lunch, and I¡¯ll be back at the office in an hour. I need to meet with my department managers and see how the staff is handling the news. Plus, there has to be concerned about the servers and¡± Barbie grabbed the phone from me. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Stan, I¡¯m on it. Yes, definitely. You¡¯re right. Our girl is never going to stop, so she should take it to the next level. Yup, got it.¡± ¡°What did he say?¡± I asked as Barbie hung up the phone. ¡°He said you need to dress for the job you want, not the one you¡¯ve got,¡± Barbie said. ¡°He just texted over the appointment information. You have just enough time to make it to Union Square.¡± ¡°This is insane,¡± I said as Barbie pushed me back down the stairs. A town car, hired by Stan, glided to the end of my driveway. The driver popped out and opened the door. I was on my way, waving feebly to Barbie before I could even protest. ¡°This is insane,¡± I said again as I shook hands with the personal shopper. He was a brightly swathed young man with sharp eyes and an efficient manner. Before I could even take a breath, he bundled me into a dressing room. I stood there and gaped at the wall of designer clothes he had chosen for me. ¡°I don¡¯t think I can do this,¡± I said. ¡°Me neither. Can you help me? I think this zipper is stuck,¡± a voice in the dressing room next to me said. ¡°Ivy?¡± I asked, recognizing my friend from college. ¡°This is insane.¡± Sheughed and pulled me into a tight hug. ¡°Tasha, it is so great to see you! Ever since I married Aldous, I never see anyone anymore. I mean, of our friends.¡± Ivy Madison had married an investment banker straight out of college and thest I heard she was vacationing in St. Moritz with the top of the jet set. I hugged her back, d to have found someone to help me navigate the new world of wealth that I had fallen into. I filled her in as quickly as I could, and Ivy congratted me. ¡°It feels like I fell down the rabbit hole,¡± I said. Ivy pped her hands and turned to the wall of designer clothes. ¡°I know just how you feel and I¡¯m so d you¡¯re here. Now, let me introduce you to Wondend.¡± Episode Fifty-Five Rainer¡¯s [POV] ¡°Give me the weekend, and I promise I can have this ce feeling like home,¡± the interior designer said. She smiled and me as she took my arm and led me through the marble-floored foyer. ¡°Wow, that¡¯s some echo,¡± I said. My voice bounced off the gleaming floor and seemed to reach up to the arched dome above the crystal chandelier. The interior designer patted my arm. ¡°A nice Berber rug will solve that. Let She take care of you.¡± She squeezed my arm with another flirtatious smile as we ttered through the foyer and up the curved staircase to the second floor. There we paused to look over the balcony to the great room. She listed a hundred changes she was going to make, totaling god knows how much money, but I still wasn¡¯t convinced. The Presidio Heights mansion was outstanding, but it was cold, and her voice rattled through the empty spaces. It looked more like a nk gallery space, or maybe a museum. I knew I could spend a million more and the mansion would never feel like a home. A memory nagged at me: the childhood weekend I had spent at my ssmate¡¯s house. It was a small, two-bedroom bungalow in the East Bay hills. I remember every room was jammed packed with books and photographs. The floor was littered with shoes and toys, and everywhere I went I ran into someone. I had always been jealous of that home. ¡°Or would you prefer brick?¡± She asked. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, what?¡± I tried to concentrate on the white-walled expanse of the great room below us. She snuggled closer.N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. ¡°For the firece. The white tile is too feminine for you. I was thinking te or perhaps brick. Something more suited to your tastes.¡± ¡°Sure,¡± I said. ¡°Oh, Rainer.¡± Sheughed and let go of me long enough to lead the way to the master bedroom. I watched her tight skirt and swinging hips with absent-minded interest. The address was elite, themute to work easy, and nothing could beat the up-close views of the Golden Gate Bridge, but I still wasn¡¯t convinced it was the dream home I should bevishing my billions on. She noticed my skeptical expression. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Rainer. The pastels will be gone, we¡¯ll put in more substantial window treatments, and make it a room fit for a man. What do you think of id?¡± she asked. ¡°I was never much of a hunter,¡± I said. She tossed back her glossy hair andughed. ¡°Funny, I was thinking just the opposite. And this would be the heart of your lodge, yourir. Imagine a heavy, four-post bed right here, smooth Egyptian cotton contrasting with the dark quilt.¡± She scooped her hair up and wriggled her body as if settling into a sinfullyfortable bed. ¡°Sounds good,¡± I said. Her nce warmed. ¡°There¡¯s more. Follow me.¡± I trailed after her to the master bedroom and stifled a yawn. The early morning appointment was amazing considering She¡¯s high demand and busy schedule, but it was taking a lot longer than I thought. I didn¡¯t care about the heated floor tiles or the sunken bathtub or the built-in coffee bar with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge. ¡°People make coffee in the bathroom?¡± I asked. ¡°An added luxury for the sessful businessman,¡± She said. Before I could follow that thought and check my watch, she turned and leaned her elbows on the coffee bar. ¡°Enjoying the view?¡± My eyes automatically dropped to her curves as She dragged one high heel up her bare leg. She caught my eyes in the bathroom mirror and popped open the top button on her sheer blouse. Then she pressed her ripe breasts together and swayed her rounded backside in a hypnotic rhythm. ¡°Maybe I should get a closer look,¡± I said. She nodded and loosened another button as I stepped behind her and ran my hands over her shoulders and down to her tight waist. With a purr, she snuggled her backside against me and hooked her high heel around the back of my calf. I rubbed against her and reached forward to tease the temptingce of her exposed bra. Her full lips parted in a lusty smile. The offer was clear, and the temptation was hard to deny. My body pulsed with the desire to tug up her skirt and take her right there. We could both enjoy the view while we enjoyed each other, but something wasn¡¯t right. It would just be sex, and it felt empty, like the mansion itself. I cleared my throat and backed off, prying my fingers from her supple waist. ¡°As much as I am enjoying this, I really should be getting to work.¡± She turned around and flung her arms around my neck. ¡°Did I mention there¡¯s a Jacuzzi hot tub out on the patio downstairs? I turned it on before you arrived, so it is nice and hot by now.¡± I didn¡¯t me her, I didn¡¯t believe the words I was saying either. ¡°Another time. I¡¯ve got an early meeting today.¡± ¡°After the billions you made Hyperion? I think they¡¯ll let you bete.¡± She pressed her open blouse and plunging cleavage against me. ¡°They would, but work is work. You know?¡± I bit my lip and forced my eyes to stay on her face. She pouted as I pulled her arms from around my neck. ¡°A man like you doesn¡¯t even need to work anymore. Why not enjoy yourself a little?¡± I gripped her still-teasing hands and shook my head. ¡°That¡¯s the funny thing about making a billion dors. Now that I don¡¯t have any other worries, work is the only interesting thing I¡¯ve got going.¡± The interior designer tugged herself free and fluffed her hair. ¡°You¡¯re right. We should get back to work. I¡¯ll have the designs drawn up and ready for youter in the week.¡± I was sure that had our encounter satisfied her more, my house would have beenpletely decorated over the weekend, but it didn¡¯t matter. I was looking forward to getting to the office, and I needed to hurry. I didn¡¯t want to miss the look on Tasha¡¯s face when I didn¡¯t miss the early meeting she had set. I waved goodbye to a sulky She and pulled out past the white pirs of my new driveway. I took the meandering route from Presidio Heights down past Crissy Field. Brightly colored clumps of tourists wandered along the shore of the bay and gaped at the intrepid surfers that dared the waves underneath Golden Gate Bridge. I waved when they turned to track my new sports car as I cruised along. One confident little boy jumped up and down and waved back with both hands. I turned back to the road with a smile, thinking of how I would have acted the same not long ago. I had stood in awe of the ultra-rich my whole life, spurred on by my father and our family tradition of gathering greed. But, that was all behind me now. Two curt congrattory voicemails left on my phone the night before told me that my father and brother knew it was all over. I won. Feeling a sense of relief and freedom, I cruised along the Embarcadero, and into the thick of the skyscrapers that dominated San Francisco. When I pulled into Hyperion Industries, there was a brief scuffle between the valets. ¡°Sorry about that, Mr. Maxwell.¡± The first valet to the car was out of breath but grinning. ¡°Some people don¡¯t understand seniority.¡± ¡°Understood,¡± I said. I got out of the car and couldn¡¯t help giving the shiny new Maserati onest look. ¡°It¡¯s a great car, Mr. Maxwell,¡± the valet said. He slid carefully into the driver¡¯s seat and sat with a look of awe. Iughed. ¡°I was hoping you¡¯d be impressed. Everyone around here knows you guys are the first andst word on who¡¯s doing the best.¡± The other valets grinned, and one spoke up. ¡°We¡¯ve seen a few other new cars, but they were sedans, not two-door sports models. They med their families.¡± ¡°They don¡¯t know how to live,¡± I said because it was expected of me. Inside I felt a twinge. I wondered if those family men had bought new houses and never noticed the empty, echoing feeling. All thoughts stopped as a long pair of legs in killer boots walked by at a fast clip. The ck pencil skirt had a ruffled re at the bottom that flipped with every graceful step. The valets¡¯ grins faded to open looks of longing. I traced my eyes up the curves of the skirt to the thin leather belt around a tight waist. From there, a sheer ck blouse floated over ace camisole that did just enough to hide the mouth-watering shape underneath. The demure neckline only tantalized me more, tickled as it was by long, coppery curls. ¡°Mr. Maxwell,¡± Tasha said with a curt nod. My heart rate shot up so fast that my head spun. The gorgeous woman in a sleek, new business sexy suit was Tasha, and the realization trampled through my system like the running of the bulls. It took a long ten seconds before I was able to form a word, but the bravest valet beat me to it. ¡°Good morning, Ms. Nichols. How are you?¡± the young man asked. ¡°Fine, thank you,¡± she said. Tasha gave the valet a guarded smile, but it was enough to turn him beet red. ¡°Did you walk?¡± I asked. Her dark brown eyes shed over me. ¡°Imute from the East Bay and the traffic is ridiculous.¡± ¡°Maybe you should get a helicopter,¡± the valet suggested. Tashaughed, a short bubble that sent my blood sizzling. ¡°Land on the roof and miss seeing you? No thanks.¡± The valet melted against the key stand with a soft jingle. ¡°I take the BART train too.¡± ¡°Smart man,¡± Tasha said. She nced at my new Maserati. ¡°Let me guess: your new toy?¡± she asked. The valet in the driver¡¯s seat broke out of his daze. ¡°Brand new, Ms. Nichols; what do you think?¡± Tasha sighed and turned to give the car a polite once-over. ¡°I like the color. How do you stand sitting in all thatmute traffic?¡± ¡°I just moved,¡± I said. ¡°Presidio Heights.¡± The valets whistled in appreciation, but Tasha just raised an eyebrow. ¡°I suppose that fits your image,¡± she said. ¡°Sleek marble floors and modern minimalist furniture, or dark hardwood and ultra-masculine ids?¡± I bristled and tugged down the sleeves of my new suit. ¡°Do you think I¡¯d wear id?¡± I asked. ¡°I think I¡¯mte for a meeting. Have a nice day, gentlemen,¡± she said. We all stood rooted to our ces as she trotted up the steps. The ruffled hem parted in the back just enough for a peek of a satin andce slip. I let out a long, low whistle just to clear my head. The valet at the stand stood up with a sharp jangle. ¡°Ms. Nichols is the nicest executive in this entire building,¡± he said to me. ¡°I agree.¡± The valet in my car shut the door and drove into the garage while his two co-workers crossed their arms and gave me a look. ¡°What?¡± I asked. ¡°I heard that you¡¯re trying to make Ms. Nichols your next conquest,¡± the valet at the stand said. The other valet snorted. ¡°No offense, Mr. Maxwell, but good luck.¡± ¡°What, you don¡¯t think I¡¯m her type?¡± I asked. They both shook their heads. ¡°No way,¡± the first valet said. ¡°Game over,¡± the other one said. I looked up the steps to where Tasha was walking through the ssed-in atrium. ¡°We¡¯ve got a lot inmon. Especially these days.¡± The valet leaned on the stand and shook his head. ¡°She rides public transit, like us.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve got a thing for her,¡± I said. The valetughed. ¡°I¡¯m not the one staring.¡± Episode Fifty-Six Rainer¡¯s [POV] I let the young man have that one. It was true; I was staring after Tasha as she made her way through the lobby of Hyperion Industries. My eyes found her as I pushed through the revolving doors and made my way through the sun-drenched atrium. She¡¯d always been a knock-out, but there was something different about her today. In my defense, I counted at least a dozen other people giving her appreciative looks. Of course, everyone knew of Tasha¡¯s sess, so they were curious about Hyperion¡¯s newest star. The attention had seemed to worry Tasha; she had had a funny frown on her sweet lips the whole day before, but now she seemed to have epted her billionaire status. I looked at her bare shoulders in the sheer blouse, held back proudly, her perfect posture a hallmark of her grace. It was a new outfit. I would have noticed that skirt with its flirty little hem before. I knew how the right clothes could boost a woman¡¯s confidence, but that still didn¡¯t exin the change I saw in Tasha. She still moved at her fast clip, but she had a smile and a greeting for everyone. Then it hit me. Tasha had always greeted everyone; it was part of her that didn¡¯t fit the Ice Queen reputation she¡¯d been given. The difference was now everyone was noticing her. The acknowledgment, as small as a nod from a senior executive, was lighting Tasha up like a Roman candle. And now they were in awe. Everyone except therge security guard who ruled the front desk. He saw her but took his time finishing his crossword puzzle before he set it down to greet her. ¡°Must be nice to get new work clothes,¡± he said. Tasha stopped and leaned on his desk, causing a few co-workers to bump into each other behind her. ¡°Otto, I keep telling you all you have to do is ask for a new uniform,¡± she said. Otto watched the gawkers with a stern stare. ¡°Thest thing I need is for my team to think they¡¯re shy. It¡¯d go straight to their heads, and they¡¯d never get any work done.¡± Tashaughed. ¡°Someone should have told our CFO that fact.¡± ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve been noticing an upswing in new suits and back-pping. The valets keep calling Jim over here and raving about new sports cars.¡± Otto shook his head, checked a monitor, and then whacked Jim on the shoulder. ¡°Swing by the coffee bar. We never have that many customers at this time of day.¡± I stopped my slow shuffle around the security desk to let Jim pass. Tasha was lingering longer than I thought she would; she knew the head of security by name, and they talked like old friends. I had to take out my phone and pretend to check emails just to have a reason to slow down. ¡°Speaking of coffee, I just happened to go by your favorite ce, and mocha was on special.¡± Tasha pushed the cup she had been holding toward Otto. ¡°Now you?¡± Otto asked. He took the cup, sipped it, and shook his head. ¡°Throwing your money around like it¡¯s confetti, eh, Ms. Nichols?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t lose my head,¡± Tasha said. ¡°Pity. If anyone deserves to let loose, it¡¯s you,¡± Otto said.Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°What¡¯s your sister say about all this?¡± Tashaughed, a lovely rxed lilt that I had never heard before. ¡°Is she checking up on me?¡± ¡°The orange trees.¡± Otto nodded over to therge nters and lush indoor trees. ¡°She spent one afternoon here, and they¡¯ve never looked better in their lives.¡± ¡°Barbie¡¯s not impressed. You know her.¡± Tasha caught sight of me and stood up. Otto shifted too, turning his bull-like frame. He nced from me back to Tasha, and one eyebrow quirked up. ¡°Well, you listen to your sister. Never met a more level-headeddy. She¡¯s going to make a wonderful mama.¡± My phone burst out with the urgent stato rhythm Topher had programmed as his ring. I almost dropped the damn thing and fumbled to hit ignore. Once the call was sent to voice mail, I raised it to my ear and pretended to listen. I had learned more about Tasha in two minutes of eavesdropping than I had in a year and I wasn¡¯t ready to be interrupted. Otto raised his other dark eyebrow at me. ¡°Come on, Ms. Nichols; let¡¯s get you to the elevator.¡± ¡°What¡¯s with the special treatment?¡± Tasha asked. Otto lumbered out from behind the security desk and hooked one hand into his belt next to his gun. The other arm raised to direct and shield Tasha. ¡°I got my orders, and you¡¯ve got a lot of extra attention this morning.¡± I trailed after them to the elevator bank, sure the security guard was clocking my every step even though his back was to me. Otto towered above the crowd of suits at the elevator bank, and they all shifted aside as he moved Tasha through to the front. Jim gave a grim nod from the now-crowded coffee bar, but Otto did not leave Tasha¡¯s side until the elevator doors opened. ¡°Morning, Mr. Maxwell,¡± Otto said as I slipped around him and into the elevator next to Tasha. He¡¯d never spoken to me before, and the greeting was an intimidating mix of warning and something else. His stony stare charged me with keeping our girl safe. I nodded to him and fought the urge to tug at my tight cor. The head of security¡¯s sharp perceptions was unnerving. The elevator doors slid closed, and James Berger let out a whistle. ¡°Ms. Nichols, you are looking sharp today.¡± Tasha gave him an arched look and said, ¡°Thank you.¡± I bristled as James¡¯ eyes roamed over her. I shifted in the crowded elevator so that my back blocked James. Tasha nced up at me with a frown. The move was too proprietary, and James was already giving his cronies spective looks. ¡°New clothes?¡± I asked Tasha. ¡°Let me guess: that¡¯s as wild as you got with your windfall. I bet the rest is waiting for your new financial advisor to ferret it all away.¡± ¡°What¡¯s wrong with that?¡± Tasha asked. I shrugged as James and his cronies chuckled. ¡°Nothing. Just kind of boring, don¡¯t you think? Now, if you want to know how to act like a billionaire, I¡¯m willing to give lessons.¡± ¡°Well, I¡¯m not willing to lower my standards,¡± Tasha said. The elevator doors opened as if on cue, and she swept out and down the office hallway. James snorted withughter. ¡°Losing your edge there, old man. And here I thought your fat bank ount was going to make you unstoppable with thedies.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the Ice Queen,¡± one of the junior executives said. ¡°Rainer just needs to turn up the heat a bit.¡± ¡°Wanna bet?¡± James asked. I left them outside the elevator, cing their bets. I had to jog down the hallway to catch up with Tasha. ¡°Tasha, hold up,¡± I called. She nced over her shoulder, her coppery curls bouncing. ¡°If it¡¯s not about work, I¡¯m not stopping,¡± she said. ¡°It is, I swear,¡± I said, catching hold of her bare shoulder. My mind went nk. Tasha shrugged away from my hand and tapped a high heel as she waited. ¡°Well? What work have you been doing already this morning?¡± The thought of She, the interior designer, and her delectable view shed through my head. Normally, my mind would have detoured off into enjoyable daydreams, but today it hummed with only one thought. Tasha. The whole empty interlude, the first like that that I had ever turned down, was nothingpared to Tasha¡¯s dark-brown eyes and the satin of her bare skin. I could still feel the heat of her on my fingertips. ¡°Tying a few things up at home,¡± I said. ¡°Did I tell you I bought a new house?¡± ¡°Rainer, we don¡¯t have time for this. You do remember we have an early meeting with Stan, I mean, Mr. Eastman. Right?¡± Tasha asked. Another person she was on a first-name basis with, except he was the Chief Operating Officer of our whole damnpany. I blinked as a few far-fetched rumors caught traction in my head. ¡°You and Mr. Eastman? Are you two close?¡± I asked. Tasha whipped around and marched towards her office. Again I had to race to catch up. I reached out for her silken, bare shoulder, but she rounded on me and jabbed a finger into my chest. ¡°I¡¯m not going to catch you up every day, Rainer. This is your project now, and I expect you to do your share,¡± Tasha said. I caught her jabbing finger and held her hand as long as she would let me. ¡°Catch me up on what?¡± Tasha yanked her hand free. ¡°Of course, you don¡¯t know. We¡¯re facing a public rtions nightmare of epic proportions, the whole project is in jeopardy, and you, of all people, don¡¯t have a clue.¡± My hand went to the pocket that held my phone. Topher had been calling all morning, and I hadn¡¯t checked a single message. My email inbox was jammed full, but I had been too distracted learning that Tasha had a pregnant sister. ¡°I¡¯ll know soon enough,¡± I pointed out. ¡°GroGreen is under attack for encouraging people to skip the real gardening and just sit on their couches. We¡¯re being charged in the court of public opinion for adding to the U. S. obesity problem. Our app has been downgraded to nothing but a silly game.¡± I groped for Tasha¡¯s hand again, and this time she didn¡¯t pull away. ¡°Are you serious?¡± I asked. My assistant, Topher, came rushing up. ¡°Mr. Maxwell, I¡¯ve been looking all over for you. Did you get my messages? My emails? My. . . Oh, sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to interrupt.¡± I ignored Topher¡¯s preupation with our inteced hands and tugged Tasha toward her office. Her assistant, a vacant-smiling temp, nced up serenely. ¡°Hello, Ms. Nichs.¡± ¡°It¡¯s Nichols, Amy. My name is Ms. Nichols,¡± Tasha said. ¡°Sure, right. Would you like some coffee?¡± Tasha¡¯s hand slipped from mine as Topher and I gaped at the useless assistant. It was clear at that moment that any work Tasha did, the amazing work she did for Hyperion, waspletely on her own. While I sat in an office with a view, letting my overeager assistant organize everything for me, Tasha worked alone with her back turned to the gray-brick view behind her. ¡°Ms. Nichols, I have thetest reports,¡± Topher said. He rushed after her into her cramped office. I ignored the flirty smile from the useless temp and followed my assistant. He was right to aim his hard work at Tasha, and, for once, I was d I had something to offer her. ¡°If Hyperion can¡¯t recover from the bad press, it will encouragewsuits, and thepany will have to freeze the assets gained from the app sales,¡± Topher said. ¡°We¡¯ll lose our bonuses?¡± I asked. ¡°That¡¯s all you care about, isn¡¯t it?¡± Tasha asked. She crossed her arms and leaned on her utilitarian desk. ¡°Your billions are safe; it¡¯s just thepany¡¯s name, reputation, and our professional respect that is at risk.¡± She thought that I didn¡¯t care about anything but my bank ount. Neither she nor my assistant could hear the nagging voices in my head. It wouldn¡¯t matter how much money I had made, how I had secured the Maxwell fortune for generations toe. If my work lost the respect of everyone, the whole nation from what Topher was saying, then my family would never let me forget it. ¡°The only thing I care about is what we¡¯re going to do next,¡± I said. Episode Fifty-Seven Tasha¡¯s [POV] Rainer was not taking the hint. I wanted him to leave, to disappear down the long corridor that leads to the better offices, and let me get ready for the meeting. I thought standing with my hands on my hips, elbows out, would have stopped him in my office doorway, but he had other ns. Rainer hooked one arm gracefully around my stiff elbow and tucked me close as he escorted me inside. Topher jumped at the chance to follow, but Rainer shut the door in his eager face. ¡°I¡¯m serious, Tasha,¡± Rainer said. ¡°We need toe up with a n right now for how to fix this.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t even really know what ¡®this¡¯ is,¡± I said. I untangled myself from his arm and stalked around to the other side of my desk. ¡°Why don¡¯t you go to your office and let your assistant catch you up?¡± Rainer t-out ignored my hint and settled in the chair closest to my desk. He stretched out his long legs, checked his shiny shoes for smudges, and thenced his fingers together over his stomach. ¡°What¡¯s to catch up on? The app was a sess, but now its detractors are getting traction, and we have a public rtions problem to fix. So, the big question is not ¡®what happened,¡¯ but ¡®what are we going to do now?''¡± I thought about marching to my office door and yanking it open, but even then I was sure Rainer would find a way to stay. He lounged back and watched me with those eyes, searching my face as if he was going to read the solution there. The real problem was I had an idea. ¡°What do you think we should do?¡± I asked. Rainer raised an eyebrow. ¡°I thought I wasn¡¯t qualified to think about it, seeing as I¡¯m not all caught up yet.¡± I dropped into my office chair and red at him. ¡°So, I¡¯ll take that as a ¡®no?¡¯ No bright ideas yet?¡± ¡°Yet being the operative word,¡± Rainer said. He leaned his head back and looked at the ceiling. I cringed at the water spot that had been spreading, ignored by maintenance, and tried to stay focused. It didn¡¯t help that Rainer made even my scratchy office chairs look sinfullyfortable. How did he look so rxed, so sure? I hated myself for finding his confidence so sexy. I jumped a foot off my chair when my office door popped open and Amy trotted in. ¡°Ms. Nichols? I wanted to let you know that you have a morning meeting with, ah, Mr. Eastman?¡± ¡°Is that a question or a reminder?¡± Rainer asked. Amy¡¯s eyes took in every inch of my handsome co-worker before I cleared my throat and interrupted her obvious thoughts. ¡°Thank you, Amy, but in the future, I do not need reminders about things I¡¯ve put on the calendar myself.¡± Amy shrugged. ¡°Sure. It was his idea.¡± Rainer¡¯s assistant red at her from the hallway. Then he shot me a hopeful look, and I had no choice but to nod. He rushed inside, clutching a sheaf of papers. ¡°I just thought you, oh, and Mr. Maxwell, would like to see thetest reports.¡± ¡°What was your name again?¡± I asked though I knew full well the answer. ¡°Topher, Ms. Nichols. I¡¯ve been Mr. Maxwell¡¯s assistant for two years, and before that, I was with Mr. Anderson in the research department.¡± Topher was too excited to sit still. ¡°Is it good news?¡± I asked. Topher realized his inappropriate excitement and handed the papers over with a bright blush. Rainerughed. ¡°My assistant is just happy to be of service. Guess I don¡¯t work him hard enough.¡± ¡°There are already reports of schools banning the app, parent groups are speaking out about it, and the American Medical Association is already nning a press release about it,¡± Topher said. ¡°And I, like, heard there¡¯s going to be a skit about it on Saturday Night Live,¡± Amy added. I reached for a pen on my desk and gripped it hard. ¡°And none of these groups are making any mention of the app¡¯s other uses? No one is talking about the integrated reminders, the routine suggestions, or the seasonal tasks?¡± ¡°It¡¯s just a game,¡± Amy said. Then she caught everyone¡¯s look and shrugged again. ¡°A really fun game. My garden has a fairy castle built into the fountain. I just need to collect a few more seeds before I get to start seeing fairies.¡± ¡°Oh, yeah,¡± Rainer said. ¡°I forgot about the interactive realityponent. I love that you can get alerts on your phone and find fairies all around town.¡± ¡°I¡¯m d you at least know a few of the product details,¡± I said. Rainer sat up in one fluid motion. ¡°And you didn¡¯t know what exactly we were up against until I initiated this little meeting.¡± ¡°Your assistant should really get the credit,¡± I said. Topher went beet red and retreated for the door. Amy didn¡¯t want to follow but finally responded to Topher¡¯s loud whispered advice. She left the door open, but Rainer didn¡¯t make any move to follow them. ¡°You¡¯re really hung up on who gets credit, aren¡¯t you?¡± Rainer asked. I folded my hands on my desk though my fingers itched to curl into fists. ¡°I¡¯ve learned that stealing credit is the easiest way forzy, uninformed, and unfit junior executives to get ahead in thispany. In anypany, for that matter.¡± ¡°But you¡¯re still willing to give credit to your team first.¡± I felt my chin ratchet up a notch. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Good.¡± Rainer got up and adjusted his bright cuff links. ¡°We¡¯re going to need the whole team to fix this bad press. I¡¯ve already been on camera, I¡¯m already associated with the app, so I¡¯m willing to step up and give a statement.¡± ¡°You¡¯re going to try to be the scapegoat for our whole app team?¡± I asked. Rainer chuckled. ¡°No, that implies there¡¯s something we should take the me for. Let¡¯s stick with credit over me. Now, what should I say?¡± I checked my watch and stood up. ¡°We don¡¯t have time to decide that. The meeting with Stan is in ten minutes. Oh, no!¡± ¡°What? What is it?¡± Rainer asked, holding out a hand to me. ¡°I just realized that we need topare all the information highlighted by the media before this trend started. Do you think your assistant could pull those press releases, headlines, and reviews for me? I mean, us?¡± Rainer paused by my office door with a gant gesture for me to go first. ¡°I¡¯ll swing by Topher¡¯s desk and meet you in Stan¡¯s office.¡± We left Amy chewing on a pen cap whilebing social media.Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. I turned back as if to instruct my hopeless assistant, and Rainer strode off toward his office. As soon as he was past the water cooler, I took off for Stan¡¯s office. My breakneck pace did not stop for questions, concerns, or even bted congrattions. I burst into the stairwell and took the steps at a fast trot. I couldn¡¯t risk getting held up by the other junior executives in the elevators. ¡°Did you run all the way up here?¡± Stan rocked back in his leather chair as I shut the door behind me and took a second to catch my breath. I nodded and held up a hand to stop hisughter. ¡°With good reason,¡± I said. ¡°Where¡¯s Rainer? I thought you two mighte up together,¡± Stan said. ¡°What? No. Why would you think we were together?¡± Stan scrubbed a hand over his chin but did not try to cover up his grin. ¡°No reason. Just a thought. Don¡¯t get me wrong, I love a little alone time with you. It does wonders for my reputation. They keep hoping I¡¯m going to lie down and take retirement easily, but you make me seem energetic and full of life.¡± ¡°I thought you were trying to be a feminist,¡± I said. ¡°Speaking of women¡¯s equality,¡± Stan said, ¡°I know exactly why you are here and I¡¯ve got to say, I¡¯m surprised at you.¡± I pushed away from the door and approached his desk with caution. ¡°You know my concern?¡± Stan sighed. ¡°You already have an idea about how to fix this whole public rtions debacle, but you don¡¯t want to share credit with Rainer. You think he¡¯s just hanging around to steal what he can of your good work. Does that about cover it?¡± I sunk into one of the polished, wing-backed chairs that faced Stan¡¯s immense desk. ¡°What¡¯s so wrong with that? I work hard, and I can¡¯t let some other junior executive like Rainer just trample all over me.¡± ¡°So, instead, you¡¯re letting him dictate your reactions and be someone you¡¯re not?¡± Stan leaned forward. ¡°Tasha, darling, you are the best damn team manager I¡¯ve ever seen. It¡¯s the secret to your sess. You know, better than anyone, how to create a strong team. And it isn¡¯t by worrying about who gets the credit.¡± I slumped back. ¡°I just get tired of seeing people promoted before me.¡± ¡°I thought you would have had Rainer¡¯s number by now,¡± Stan said. My cheeks got hot. ¡°Why would I need his number? He won¡¯t leave me alone at work.¡± Stan grinned. ¡°I meant figuratively. Does Rainer strike you as a man who wants the full weight of leadership?¡± I thought about Rainer, trying to brush past all the physical traits he had that distracted me: long legs, t stomach, broad shoulders, strong jaw, that devil-may-care smile, those blue eyes. . . I cleared my throat. ¡°I thought he was just in it for the money. Maybe a little glory.¡± ¡°Exactly,¡± Stan said. ¡°So, stop thinking of him as thepetition. He¡¯s on your side.¡± Stan¡¯s phone rang and he pressed the speaker button with a flourish. ¡°Send him in, Jean.¡± Rainer thanked Stan¡¯s secretary and sauntered into his office. He was surprised to see me already there, but he masked it well. ¡°Mr. Eastman, I hope I¡¯m notte. Here is that report you wanted, Ms. Nichols.¡± Stan studied each of us in turn as Rainer handed me the tight packet of papers, smiled at me, then sat down. ¡°Seems to me we¡¯re all in the same foxhole here, so let¡¯s dispense with the formalities and stick with first names. Shall we?¡± Stan asked. I suppressed a groan as the men shook on it. It made me edgy to see my mentor so friendly with Rainer. And why did Stan keep smiling like that? ¡°Well, Stan,¡± Rainer said, ¡°let me start by assuring you that I am all caught up on thetest reports. Tasha here was nice enough to suggest I start with the timeline of media statements. See when they really started turning on us.¡± ¡°Excellent ce to start,¡± Stan said. My head buzzed as Rainer discussed the usations surrounding our GroGreen app. I had sent him off to his office only minutes ago and yet he was referencing the reports with ease. Had he really sped through all of them before joining us? I studied Rainer. He didn¡¯t seem like the type of man who would pretend to know less than he did, but the truth was I didn¡¯t know him all that well. All I knew were snap judgments and rumors. ¡°What do you think, Tasha? Is our man here is on the right track?¡± Stan asked. Our man. I almost rolled my eyes. ¡°Product cement is a good idea, but it will be a struggle to find a venue that wants to be associated with us right now. Celebrity spokespeople are expensive and unreliable. Whatever we choose has to be immediate and under budget.¡± ¡°Very practical.¡± Stan sighed and settled back in his leather chair. He steepled his fingers together and studied us for a moment. ¡°I think the real solution is somewhere in the middle. You¡¯ll keep working on this together and report back to me daily.¡± ¡°Together?¡± My breath caught in my throat. ¡°We¡¯re not exactly on the same page.¡± Episode Fifty-Eight Tasha¡¯s [POV] Stan smiled. ¡°You¡¯ll get there. It¡¯s the board¡¯s decision. I¡¯m just the chaperone.¡± I didn¡¯t like the way Rainer chuckled. I shot out of my chair, shook Stan¡¯s hand first, and marched out of his impressive office first. Still, I had to nce back. Stan was the one person at Hyperion who I trusted to tell me the truth, and here he was shaking Rainer¡¯s hand and telling him something in confidence. The onlyfort I had was the speed with which Rainer¡¯s smile fled his face. He even looked a little pale as he joined me at the elevator. ¡°More bad news?¡± I asked. Rainer fiddled with his tie. ¡°He¡¯s a sharp old man, isn¡¯t he?¡± I caught Rainer¡¯s guarded nce and had tough. ¡°He can read people better than anyone I know. Why?¡± Rainer¡¯s eyes roved over my face, and I felt his gaze like hot sunlight. It felt as if he was searching for something in me and when he found it, he smiled. ¡°It wasn¡¯t bad news. Might be really good. But first, we have to save this project.¡± We rode the elevator down to our floor in silence. I kept my eyes on the tips of my shoes, but I could feel Rainer¡¯s curious looks. He nced at me like we¡¯d only first met and it made my stomach do giddy turns. When the elevator doors opened, I couldn¡¯t help myself. I grabbed his arm and had to ask. ¡°What did Stan say to you?¡± Rainer stepped out into our lobby, pulling me with him. ¡°No. No way. I don¡¯t know how you do it, but you always know more than me. So, this one thing, I¡¯m going to keep it to myself.¡± Somehow, my other hand had found him and we stood face to face, inches apart. ¡°You really don¡¯t know how teams work, do you?¡± I asked. ¡°Maybe I¡¯m more of a partner guy. Just us.¡± Rainer¡¯s grip on my hand was warm, and inviting. ¡°What do you say, partner? Brainstorming lunch? I know a great ce.¡± Another elevator opened and I knew I should pull away from Rainer, but it was a distant, nagging thought. Being near him was like finding the one hill that hadn¡¯t been caught in the fog. Everything else just faded away. ¡°Tasha?¡± Ivy stepped off the elevator, leaving behind a cluster of awed admirers. They stumbled out behind my rich and royally fashionable friend, breaking the spell between Rainer and me.N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. ¡°Ivy! You didn¡¯t need toe all the way up here. You should have just called me,¡± I said. Ivy switched her Italian-leather clutch from one hand to the other. ¡°I¡¯m d I came up. Getting a glimpse of you at work, with your co-workers, was worth the trip.¡± Her soft brown eyes sparkled as she held out a hand to Rainer. ¡°Nice to meet you. I¡¯m Ivy Madison.¡± ¡°Suddenly, you¡¯re friends with Ivy Madison?¡± Rainer asked me. He shook Ivy¡¯s elegant hand then settled his gaze back on me. Ivy¡¯s smile widened. ¡°We were friends long before myst name had such meaning.¡± ¡°Ivy, this is Rainer Maxwell,¡± I said. First with Stan, now with Ivy. What was it about Rainer that made all my closest friends smile like that? ¡°Oh, I¡¯ve heard that name¡± I looped an arm through Ivy¡¯s and pulled her down the hall toward my office. ¡°Sorry, Rainer, I already have lunch ns. Meet up again in two hours?¡± Rainer stood where he was and watched me drag Ivy away. ¡°Nice to meet you, Mrs. Madison. Since when do you take two-hour lunches, Tasha? I¡¯ll see you in an hour.¡± ¡°Ooh, I like it,¡± Ivy said as I shoved her past my gawking assistant and into my office. ¡°Like what?¡± I asked. ¡°The way he doesn¡¯t have eyes for anyone but you.¡± Ivy tossed her leather clutch on my desk and smiled at me. ¡°What?¡± I shut my office door harder than I intended. ¡°That¡¯s insane. I thought you said you¡¯d heard of Rainer Maxwell before. He¡¯s the biggest yboy San Francisco has to offer.¡± ¡°Was,¡± Ivy said. ¡°I¡¯d be willing to bet his reputation slides from here on out.¡± ¡°How much?¡± I leaned against the door and crossed my arms. ¡°Ten thousand dors.¡± My jaw dropped, and Ivyughed. ¡°You keep forgetting about your money, don¡¯t you? Happened to me too, at first. You¡¯ll get used to it.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not the money,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s this insane idea that Rainer is interested in me. In that way. He¡¯s the one I told you about. He horned his way onto my project just in time to get the big bonus. And now I¡¯m stuck working with him. We¡¯re in major crisis mode.¡± ¡°How romantic,¡± Ivy said. I groaned and shoved away from the door. ¡°Just because Matthew started off as an arrogant snob and turned into the husband of the century doesn¡¯t mean fairy talese true. You got lucky.¡± Ivy checked her watch. ¡°Seems to me you¡¯re luck has been improving these days. Ever since you ran into Rainer. Is it safe to assume you¡¯re not free for lunch?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Ivy. I¡¯ll make it up to you,¡± I said. ¡°With a double date? Perfect.¡± I groaned again. ¡°Isn¡¯t it enough that I let you shop for me?¡± ¡°Oh, no, you did all that yourself. And you look wonderful, by the way,¡± Ivy said. She picked up her purse and headed for my office door¡± ¡°Ivy?¡± I called. ¡°Thanks for stopping by. I still can¡¯t wrap my head around the whole billionaire thing.¡± ¡°Who cares about the money?¡± Ivy asked. ¡°You¡¯ve got other things to think about, and I hope you do.¡± I knew she didn¡¯t mean work, but I smiled anyways. ¡°Drinks soon, no matter what is going on.¡± Ivy opened the door. Amy turned around so fast that she almost fell out of her chair. Ivy had that effect on people. Not everyone was used to seeing a high-society darling live and in person. And Rainer hadn¡¯t even blinked. I knew because his eyes were on me. I shook off the thought and helped Ivy past my star-struck assistant. Walking back from the elevators, I almost collided with Rainer¡¯s rushing assistant. Topher caught the flutter of papers before they flew everywhere and made room for me to walk past. Then he followed me, stopping only when we reached Amy¡¯s desk. ¡°Could you please let me know when Ms. Nichols has a free moment?¡± Topher asked Amy. Amy snorted. ¡°She¡¯s right there. Like a foot away from you.¡± Topher looked pained at my temp¡¯sck of professionalism. He was about to exin her job description when I sighed. ¡°Come in, Topher. I trust you have pertinent research for me.¡± The young man followed me into my office andid out four crisp, new reports. ¡°I sent these to your assistant, but then I made extra copies while printing these for Mr. Maxwell.¡± I picked up the first report as Topher¡¯s phone buzzed. The young man jumped as if the phone gave him an electric shock. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Ms. Nichols, but it is Mr. Maxwell. He¡¯s actually calling me.¡± I nodded and let the surprised assistant take the call. Topher was obviously underutilized by his boss, and it irritated me. Amy sat outside at her nk desk and waved at the copy machine repair man. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Ms. Nichols, but I have to go,¡± Topher said, his face glowing with excitement. ¡°Mr. Maxwell wants to run through the reports with me.¡± He rushed out without shutting the door. I let out a long, controlled breath and shut the door myself. It had probably all been a ploy, a showy little move that was supposed to prove to me that Rainer was taking his work seriously. I didn¡¯t buy it, and, based on the reports I was reading, I didn¡¯t have time to be impressed. GroGreen was getting national attention as a problem, it was being touted as the new monster threatening America¡¯s health, and I had to find a way to get out ahead of it. Finally, I sat down and opened up the n I had started. My office door popped open before I heard the jaunty knock. Rainer stepped in and shut the door behind him. ¡°Sorry to show up unannounced, but your assistant is truly useless. You¡¯d be better off sharing Topher with me.¡± I fought the urge to throw a stapler at him. ¡°It hasn¡¯t even been an hour. I really need to get some work done.¡± ¡°We,¡± Rainer said. ¡°We really need to get some work done. That¡¯s why I sent your assistant to the Vista Cafe to get us some lunch. No, telling what she¡¯ll bring back, but we¡¯ll survive.¡± I red at him, but it had no effect. Rainer pulled one of the stiff-backed chairs closer to my desk and settled in. With a grin, he loosened his tie and popped open the first button of his crisp, white shirt. ¡°What are you doing?¡± I asked, dragging my eyes away from the tempting line of his jaw. ¡°Brainstorming. Remember? We need the n to stop the nation from going all pitchforks and torches on our app.¡± ¡°Our app?¡± Iced my fingers together and squeezed. Rainer lounged in the ufortable chair with no reports, no notes, not even a pen. ¡°Hey, did I hear that your sister nted those orange trees in the atrium? She must really have a green thumb,¡± Rainer said. I blinked, my fingers goingx. ¡°My sister? Yes. She took on all the gardening after . . . Do you want to borrow a notepad? For your brainstorming?¡± Rainer studied my face, saw the gaping hole in the conversation, and gave me a sympathetic pass. ¡°Is your sister all corporate-driven like you?¡± I tossed a legal pad at Rainer harder than was necessary. ¡°No. Barbie is not all ¡®corporate-driven.¡¯ She couldn¡¯t ever stand desk jobs.¡± ¡°What does she do now?¡± Rainer asked. I started to re at him but realized he was being sincere. He honestly wanted to know more about my family. Maybe it was how he skated by without doing much; everyone liked talking to him because he was genuinely interested. ¡°She¡¯s six months pregnant, and the doctor has warned her repeatedly to take it easy,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s what she¡¯s doing now.¡± Rainer smiled and nodded. ¡°Let me guess: she¡¯s not good at following doctor¡¯s orders.¡± ¡°No,¡± I said, refusing to enjoy the easy flow of our conversation. ¡°It¡¯s gotta feel good knowing you¡¯ve got a niece or a nephew on the way. No wonder you¡¯re so focused on getting your big money all squared away.¡± ¡°Speaking of that, we need to focus on work,¡± I said. I closed down the document containing my n and focused on Rainer. ¡°Any ideas yet?¡± Rainer leaned back in the stiff chair and stretched. ¡°Well, I was thinking about how someone like your sister might use the app. We¡¯ve got to show the nation the best aspects of it. Why not create amunity garden? We could document the whole thing, show the app being used in the real world, and get people out there, literally on the ground.¡± I tore my gaze away from Rainer¡¯s t stomach and felt the room reel. In one casualment, he¡¯d hit on the very idea that I had spent half the night forming. I thought about Topher as a spy but dismissed it. My n was no more than a few notes that no one but myself had seen. I had to admit that despite his reputation, Rainer had razor-sharp instincts. ¡°Come on, Tasha. Don¡¯t dismiss it just because I said it.¡± I took a deep breath. ¡°I had the same exact idea. Here, let me show you the notes I¡¯ve already started.¡± Rainer jumped up and leaned over my shoulder. I opened the document and tried not to notice how work was bringing us closer than ever. Episode Fifty-Nine Rainer¡¯s [POV]N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. I woke up with a stiff neck and realized I was still on the couch. My cavernous living room was cold and still, the sunrise starting on the other side of the mansion. I had sat downtest night to watch the moon set beyond the Golden Gate Bridge and never bothered to head upstairs to the master suite. Now, I heaved myself off the couch and stretched. ¡°Ridiculous,¡± I said in the echoing room. My old couch, the decorator-chosen one that had fit my old condo so perfectly, looked like an abandoned piece of junk. My furniture pieces were shabby squatters in my vast, shining mansion. Not that I med She, my ex-interior designer. She had taken my rejection to heart and decided her schedule was just a little too full to amodate me. I had no choice but to move in with what I had and deal with it. I rubbed the sore muscles in my neck as I dragged myself upstairs to the master bathroom. Sleeping on the couch was a terrible choice, but my bed was too lonely in the upstairs suite. I had avoided it, and all the far-fetched fantasies I knew would keep me awake. Tasha and I had put in an amazing day of work, and it was still all I could think about. Without the benefit of an overeager assistant, Tasha had taken our idea and turned it into a full-blown n. By the end of the day, possible locations had been chosen, and she¡¯d already started negotiations with one city. The GroGreenmunity garden was already taking shape. I yanked a towel out of a moving box and dug up my essentials. Once they were dumped on the long counter, I turned on the luxurious rain shower head. The hot water eased the pain in my neck but did nothing to chase away the other nagging ache. I smiled under the deluge, thinking how shocked and disapproving Tasha would be of me falling for a co-worker, but that only heated me more. I was falling for Tasha Nichols. Her dark, shing eyes and that smile always gave me a little jolt. I the floral scent I caught every time she brushed back her hair. Those ck high-heels and legs. I wondered if she was a runner; they were so sculpted and smooth. I could picture her jogging, her curves caught in a tight tank top, still bouncing with every step. I cranked the water to ice cold. It would be a snowy day in hell before I caught more than a glimpse of her legs under a conference table. Tasha had loosened up yesterday, but she was still all business. Sure, there were a few times when herugh was genuine when her hand brushed my arm when I caught her watching me. Still, she had deflected every invitation I had offered from happy hour to dinner to ride home. Tasha was all business, and I was just going to have to get used to it. Plus, she was friends with Ivy Madison. I knew Ivy¡¯s husband, Matthew, and had had an entanglement with not one, but two of his gorgeous cousins. I was certain my reputation was cemented in Tasha¡¯s mind, and there was no way I was getting out of it. Tasha thought I was a shameless flirt, a yboy, and nowhere good enough for her. She was right. I didn¡¯t treat women badly, just casually, and there wasn¡¯t a casual bone in Tasha¡¯s body. She was serious, and I was certain there was no way she would ever take me seriously. A hundred ns jumped to my mind as I turned off the shower and dried off. Tasha¡¯s one disadvantage was that she had to work with me. The board had dictated it, Stan expected it, and she couldn¡¯t brush off those facts. Tasha was stuck with me. Now, all I had to do was show her I was more than my reputation. I smiled at myself in the steamy mirror. There had been that one glorious moment yesterday when Tasha and I were on the same page. She was so shocked that I had hit on an idea simr to the one she had started; the look on her face gave me hope. We spent the rest of the day arguing out the details. It had taken all my best negotiation skills to make sure she divided the work evenly. Tasha was used to doing everything herself, but she also wanted to. She was hell-bent on going it alone. So, my first n was to be by her side every step of the way. Sure, she was going to hate it, but I had hope. Even our chief operations officer had noticed. ¡°You¡¯re two sides of the same coin; anyone can see that,¡± Stan had said. ¡°But if you move too fast if you spook her if you even think about hurting her, I will end you.¡± That little exchange was still a roller coaster ride every time I thought of it. I was wondering about it again when my phone rang. ¡°Evan surprised to hear from you. Isn¡¯t this normally your tee time?¡± ¡°Not as surprised as I am that you picked up. I just thought I should check on you, considering all the bad press you and yourpany are getting. Father¡¯s worried you¡¯ll be heading out on another one of your benders,¡± Evan said. ¡°I¡¯m not an alcoholic, Evan, and I¡¯m not hungover. I have to leave for work in a minute.¡± I put the phone on speaker and set about shaving. ¡°You¡¯re still going to work?¡± Evan asked. I gritted my teeth and narrowly avoided nicking my throat with my razor. ¡°Yes. Not everyone stops working as soon as they think they¡¯ve made enough money.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve got a patient this afternoon,¡± Evan said. I could hear the bitter edge as soon as I mentioned money. ¡°Seems like you have a lot of work ahead of you.¡± He wanted me to agonize over the bad press my sess was getting. Evan wanted me to know I still didn¡¯t have our father¡¯s approval. Too bad he was going about it all wrong. Thinking about work did nothing but make me happy. ¡°Sorry, bro, gotta run. Early meeting.¡± I hung up the phone and whistled while I finished shaving. In less than an hour, I was meeting Tasha at the garden site. It felt great to arrive early and catch the shocked look on Tasha¡¯s face. She took the cup of coffee I handed her and blinked at it. ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± she asked. ¡°Your favorite. Americano with a ssh of cream. I asked the head of security before I leftst night,¡± I said. ¡°You asked Otto my favorite kind of coffee?¡± Tasha asked. ¡°Sure. He¡¯s scary as shit, but he likes you. When he knew what I wanted, he almost smiled.¡± I took a sip of my coffee and enjoyed her dazed expression. Tasha pulled herself together and nodded. ¡°Thanks. I¡¯m just surprised to see you here.¡± ¡°I¡¯m a morning person; who knew,¡± I said. ¡°No, it¡¯s just, I, I didn¡¯t think we¡¯d decided you needed to be here.¡± Tasha headed towards themunity center office. ¡°I¡¯m here,¡± I said. ¡°What first?¡± Tasha¡¯s quick stride hitched, but she recovered quickly. ¡°First, we have to decide if this is the right location.¡± I caught her arm and turned her around. ¡°There¡¯s arge park over there, sports fields, a junior high school just up that hill, and themunity center right here. The vacant lot is on the opposite side of their parking lot and borders the school grounds. How could it be any more perfect?¡± ¡°You could have seen all that from the satellite maps,¡± Tasha pointed out. ¡°Is that how you would have decided?¡± I asked. ¡°You¡¯re here. I¡¯m here. Get used to it, Ms. Nichols. We¡¯re a team.¡± Tasha pulled her arm from my grasp and slopped some of her coffee on the ground. She scrubbed at the stter with her new pair of Jimmy Choo heels. The understated cream color turned to a bright gold glitter around the heel, and I swallowed hard. Her long legs stretched from her pale pencil skirt and the satin pink of her blouse only served to make her copper-colored hair gleam. Strawberries and cream, I thought. ¡°Besides,¡± I said through a tight throat. ¡°I know you don¡¯t like getting in front of the cameras.¡± Tasha scowled at the news vans that were crowding the smallmunity center parking lot. ¡°Did Stan send them or was that your bright idea?¡± ¡°I¡¯d love to me Stan, but it¡¯s your fault for getting me into work mode. We need to be transparent and show the nation that we are here on the ground ourselves,¡± I said. ¡°Fine, you can do that,¡± Tasha said. ¡°I¡¯m going inside to see if we can actually get the permits.¡± ¡°Paperwork is definitely your dominion,¡± I said. I opened the office doors for her while I waved at the news reporters. ¡°I¡¯m going with our whole ¡®lead by example idea. Sound good?¡± Tasha gave me the ghost of a smile. ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll make it sound great. Just don¡¯t get too excited.¡± ¡°Then get inside before I start to think you just gave me apliment.¡± I shut the ss-ted door in her face. I swore Tasha was about to stick her tongue out at me when the reporters appeared. I watched her shake hands with the head of Parks and Recreation before I turned to face the dozens of questions. I held up both hands. ¡°Hyperion Industries is determined to show the United States, and the entire world, that GroGreen is more than just a fun game. The application has excellent tools for hands-on use, so we¡¯ve decided to put it to use ourselves. Today, we areying the framework for our first GroGreenmunity garden.¡± The reporters were skeptical. One short reporter shoved her recorder in my face. ¡°What does ying the framework¡¯ entail? Sitting in themunity center conference room all day?¡± I let the barbedment bounce off me. ¡°I see you haven¡¯t met Tasha Nichols, our GroGreen team leader. Sitting in meetings is not the style of leadership that created such a versatile and innovative application. Thanks to Tasha Nichols¡¯ hands-on involvement, we have two Hyperion executives here, on the ground, and ready to lead by example.¡± ¡°So, you¡¯ll be in the garden yourself?¡± another reporter asked. I grinned and nodded. ¡°I¡¯m looking forward to it. GroGreen has the task-list ability to turn even my thumb green. And you are all wee to join in.¡± I left the reporters to put their spin on my ims. It would take a lot more than a quick promise from a slick executive like me to turn things around. Tasha had the real task of convincing the Parks and Recreation Department to allow us this experiment. As I joined her in the conference room, I realized it was going to be more of an uphill battle than we had thought. ¡°Ms. Nichols, I appreciate the scope of your vision and your generous offer, but we are just not sure this is what we need right now,¡± the department head told her. ¡°You think it¡¯s a publicity stunt. We¡¯re moving too fast and you¡¯ll be left holding the bag,¡± I said. Tasha shed a look at me. ¡°Mr. Reynolds, this is my associate, Rainer Maxwell.¡± Mr. Reynolds shook my hand. ¡°I appreciate you cutting through the bull, Mr. Maxwell. We are not interested in developing that patch ofnd without a long-term vision.¡± Tasha opened her briefcase with an authoritative snap. ¡°Then, please, consider this five-year development n. I¡¯ve included a yearly review as well as lines ofmunication that will offer daily support.¡± I realized Tasha must have worked on that nst night while I wandered aimlessly around my empty mansion. I was impressed. More importantly, Mr. Reynolds was impressed. ¡°Thank you. I¡¯m not saying your project is not worth our consideration. We just need to be cautious for ourmunity¡¯s sake.¡± Mr. Reynolds opened the report and started scanning it. Episode Sixty Rainer¡¯s [POV] While he had his eyes on Tasha¡¯s practicalyout and n, I jumped on the opportunity. ¡°We would like to give your department staff GroGreen apps free of charge. I¡¯m certain you are all very busy, but we could take a few minutes to go over the nning and scheduling aspects. I think you¡¯ll find it is very easy to use.¡± ¡°Some people already have it,¡± Mr. Reynolds said. ¡°By all means, show them more than the game.¡± Tasha stood up and joined the end of the conference table who had their phones out and ready. Within minutes, she had themunity nning screen projected. All participants could put in their ideas and watch as the program and then their peers rated the ideas. It took ten minutes for a vegetable garden to beplete with task lists and activity suggestions. Mr. Reynolds finally looked up from the five-year n and noticed the hum of excitement in the room. Tasha stepped aside and let his department show him what they had managed to aplish in a short period. No one was sitting down. A few stood, pointing excitedly to the wall screen as they exined everything to their boss. The others took their phones and headed outside to the empty lot. Tasha watched them stomping down the high weeds and scraping out the possible garden beds with a stick. ¡°I thought this might not work,¡± she said. ¡°Hope is my department. Paperwork is yours,¡± I said. ¡°Please tell me you know exactly what permits we need to make this happen.¡± Tasha nodded to the sheaf of papers sticking out of her briefcase. ¡°Already printed and ready to go. If we get the go-ahead.¡± ¡°Getting autographs, also my department,¡± I said. Mr. Reynolds saw meing from across the conference room. ¡°Well, Mr. Maxwell, it is an exciting possibility.¡± ¡°We¡¯re willing to sign the long-term contract today,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m sure Ms. Nichols included ourmitment to raisingmunity awareness, organizing volunteers, and overseeing the initial work.¡± He nodded to Tasha. ¡°Yes, yes, and it¡¯s all great, but there are other obstacles.¡± Tasha joined us. ¡°The Parks and Recreation Department is very busy and understandably hesitant to assign the extra work to their already spread-thin staff.¡± ¡°And hiring a privatepany is not cost-effective,¡± I realized. Mr. Reynolds cleared his throat. ¡°It¡¯s hard to ignore headlines that include therge bonuses you two must have received from GroGreen. I can tell you are both sincere, but I just don¡¯t see a couple of billionaires getting their hands dirty.¡± Iughed. ¡°There you¡¯re wrong, Mr. Reynolds. I¡¯ve been dying to get out from behind my desk and really sink my hands into something. Don¡¯t let the suit fool you; I¡¯m here to work.¡± Tasha hesitated. ¡°Yes, of course, but I think Mr. Reynolds¡¯ concerns are long-term.¡± ¡°There¡¯s a strongmunity here. Have you seen the roses themunity center¡¯s closest neighbor has in her front yard? Plus, I see crowds of junior high kids just up the hill. Once the teachers have ess to the lesson ns and activities on GroGreen, I¡¯m sure they will be happy to let their fidgeting kids into the garden.¡± Mr. Reynolds finally bent. He held up both hands. ¡°All right. All right. I can¡¯t really turn you down when my second inmand is out thereying out space for a pumpkin patch. I¡¯ll give you the permits toy out the framework. Everything wille under review from the city before we go ahead in earnest, but at least show us what you can do.¡± Tasha was dazed as sheid out the right paperwork for Mr. Reynolds. After it was all signed, she checked her watch and had no idea which way to go. I caught her arm and steered her towards the front doors. ¡°Thanks so much, Mr. Reynolds. I know it¡¯s too early to treat your department to a celebratory lunch, so we¡¯ll just go introduce ourselves to your neighbors,¡± I said. ¡°Start with Mrs. Davis,¡± he said. ¡°She¡¯s the one with those knock-out roses. Head of our gardening club. Oh, and Mr. Maxwell?¡± I turned back but kept my hold on Tasha. ¡°Yes, sir?¡± ¡°You can never go wrong getting this bunch some barbecue,¡± Mr. Reynolds said. ¡°Done.¡± I opened the door for Tasha and escorted her around the building in the opposite direction of the reporters. She didn¡¯t speak until we passed the white picket fence and entered Mrs. Davis¡¯ riot of roses. ¡°Did all of that really just happen?¡± she asked. ¡°Great work, partner,¡± I said. Tasha grabbed my arm before I could ring Mrs. Davis¡¯ bell. ¡°Rainer? I have to thank you.¡± ¡°Is it really so painful?¡± I asked. She swatted me and then caught my arm again. ¡°No, really. I get so caught up in the paperwork, in the way it looks on paper, that I never even saw these roses. Without your help, I would havee across as a buttoned-up executive, and they would never have let us get this far. Thank you.¡± I rang Mrs. Davis¡¯ bell. ¡°You¡¯re wee. Now just do me a favor.¡± ¡°What?¡± Tasha asked. ¡°Stop and smell the roses.¡± Mrs. Davis opened the door to Tasha swatting at me as Iughed. ¡°Well, you two are certainly not what I expected to see. Looking to move into the neighborhood?¡± Tasha¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°No, ma¡¯am, we¡¯re not together. I mean, we work together.¡± I put an arm around Tasha and held out my other hand to greet the older woman. ¡°Mrs. Davis, I just had to stop by to admire your beautiful roses. We just met with Mr. Reynolds about the possibility of amunity garden and everyone agreed we couldn¡¯t do anything until we talked to you,¡± I said. Tasha resisted my embrace but that only made the older woman¡¯s smile grow. ¡°Maybe your colleague there would soften up a bit if you offered her a rose. I¡¯ll let you pick one while us girls talk.¡± I left a blushing Tasha on the front step while I headed back to the gate. The deep red, glistening roses there had caught my eye right away. When I rejoined them, I caught the end of their quick chat. ¡°I know he seems a bit slick and showy, but I think he¡¯s reallymitted to this project,¡± Tasha said. The older woman nodded and winked at me. ¡°The red rose represents passion; guess we¡¯ll all just have to wait and see about themitment.¡± ¡°My colleague is the one with the five-year n, Mrs. Davis. She¡¯s got it allid out, the fullmitment, if you¡¯d like to see,¡± I said. I handed Tasha the red rose and was rewarded with a brighter blush on her cheeks. ¡°Sounds like you two make a good team. I¡¯ll give my garden club a call and set up a meeting,¡± Mrs. Davis said. As we walked back towards themunity center, Tasha sniffed at her rose. ¡°I¡¯ll follow up with Mrs. Davis tomorrow. Anyone who can grow a rose that smells this heavenly can certainly help us make this whole thing something special.¡± ¡°It¡¯s already feeling pretty special to me,¡± I said. Tasha rolled her eyes to deflect her disbelief. I wasn¡¯t to be believed, but it didn¡¯t bother me. I was out of the office, away from all the posturing and posing, and it was a beautiful day. And then there was the beauty of Tasha sniffing that single red rose. My phone rang and sliced through the moment. ¡°It¡¯s James, from the office,¡± I said. Tasha nodded with a stiff expression and walked ahead of me. ¡°Hello, James. Missing me so soon?¡± I asked. ¡°And here I thought it would be the other way around,¡± James said. ¡°From what I heard, you¡¯ve been exiled to the East Bay with the Ice Queen. You frozen solid yet?¡± ¡°Things are going great, thanks for asking,¡± I said. James snickered. ¡°Sure. Now, how about you escape ande back to civilization? We¡¯ve got a group heading to the Cliff House. Drinks with a view; can¡¯t beat that, can you?¡± ¡°Sorry, old man, I¡¯m still working,¡± I said. Ahead of me, Tasha stepped aside to let a bright parade of preschoolers walk by. The line piled up as they noticed her red rose and surrounded her with bubbly chatter. ¡°I knew she¡¯d turn you cold,¡± James said. I watched as Tasha knelt down to let the preschoolers smell her rose. They smiled up at her as she exined why she was at theirmunity center. The teacher pulled out her phone and handed it to Tasha. Within seconds, Tasha had the app up and running and the whole ss was clustered around her. The teacher smiled, relieved her students were engaged, and watched how to make GroGreen work. Tiny students mored with excitement and more than a dozen gave Tasha impromptu hugs. I sighed. ¡°You only wish you knew what she was doing to me,¡± I told James and then hung up the phone. Tasha nced up as I approached and shed me a bright smile. I stopped on the sidewalk, feeling my pulse skip a beat. Rumors would be flying because of my off-handedment on the phone, but it was true. Tasha did something to me every time I got near her, and all I knew was I wanted more. ¡°We have popsicle sticks and markers,¡± the teacher told Tasha when I finally joined them. ¡°What should we use for the guidelines?¡± Tasha asked the cluster of preschoolers in front of her. One popped a thumb out of her mouth and said, ¡°We have fuzzy yarn. It¡¯s yellow.¡± Tasha grinned. ¡°That will work perfectly! I¡¯ll let the Parks and Recreation staff know they have helpers, and we¡¯ll see you in the garden.¡± ¡°Thanks, we needed a new activity after the whole ydough experiment went south,¡± their teacher said. The woman gave me a big smile. ¡°See you in the garden.¡± ¡°Making friends?¡± I asked Tasha. She watched the teacher¡¯s walk change to a suggestive sway and frowned at me. ¡°Not as quick as you do.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a talent, I know,¡± I said. Tasha turned and gave me a rueful smile. ¡°Or a curse, depending on how you look at it. Are you ready for this?¡± My voice fled so I nodded before I could speak. ¡°Wait, ready for what?¡± ¡°You¡¯re going to roll up your sleeves and get into that garden,¡± Tasha said. I blocked her from heading to her car. ¡°And what are you going to do?¡± Tasha smiled. ¡°Get this group some barbecue. I know a great ce nearby. Go show them what GroGreen can do, and I¡¯ll be back with lunch. Unless you¡¯ve had a better offer?¡± I nced at my phone. A row of messages had arrived from the other junior executives. Most were about to join them for lunch, but a few here and there wanted to know how I was faring with the Ice Queen. I dropped my phone in my pocket and peeled off my suit coat. ¡°Let¡¯s see, hanging out in the sunshine and getting a barbecue lunch or heading back to the office? No question, this is the best offer I¡¯ve had all year,¡± I said. Tasha raised an eyebrow. ¡°Didn¡¯t you bring a change of clothes?¡± ¡°Must have lost my overalls in the move,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s an expensive suit, Rainer. Don¡¯t go too crazy,¡± Tasha said. ¡°Toote,¡± I said to myself as I watched her head for her car.N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. Episode Sixty-One Tasha¡¯s [POV] There is no neat way to eat barbecue, even when wearing an expensive silk blouse. I hesitated at first, waiting until everyone else at themunity center got a te, but then it seemed odd and snobbish for me not to eat too. Plus, the food smelled so good I was practically drooling. Luckily, Rainer was eating his heaping te near the food table while talking to Mr. Reynolds. I watched him lick the thick, tangy sauce off his fingers until he caught my nce and smiled. ¡°Too spicy?¡± the woman next to me asked. ¡°The barbecue? No, it¡¯s delicious,¡± I said. She turned to look at Rainer. ¡°Yeah, he is too,¡± she said. I recognized her as the front desk secretary of themunity center. ¡°He¡¯s my co-worker.¡± ¡°So was my husband, once. My name is Deanna Reynolds,¡± the woman said. ¡°You two still work together?¡± I hid my avid interest behind another bite of barbecue. Deanna smiled. ¡°We may only be a few yards from each other, but our work is different. That helps.¡± For a moment, I imagined a day when I was only separated from Rainer by a few yards. Would it always be as easy and fun as today? ¡°You¡¯ve got a little sauce on your chin,¡± Rainer said. He plucked the napkin from myp and dabbed my face. I was sure my cheeks were as red as the barbecue sauce by the time his gentle attentions were over. ¡°Luckily, this isn¡¯t a date,¡± I said. ¡°Luckily?¡± Rainer asked. My cheeks burned. ¡°No. I mean, wolfing down barbecue is not the best way to impress other people.¡± His eyes sparkled, not letting me off the sharp hook of my embarrassment. ¡°Who are you trying to impress? Me, I¡¯m impressed with ady who¡¯s not afraid to eat.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be impressed if we make it back to the office at all today,¡± I said. It was meant to change the subject and steer it back toward work, but it made Deannaugh. Rainer¡¯s eyes widened, but he kept his smile cautious. ¡°Well, the preschoolers staked out the garden with popsicle sticks and yarn. The ns areing together on GroGreen. And everyone¡¯s had at least two tes of barbecue. If you want to head back to the office, now¡¯s as good a time as any.¡± ¡°You ready?¡± Mr. Reynolds called Rainer. ¡°I offered to help set up the hall for tonight¡¯s event. It¡¯ll only take a few minutes,¡± Rainer said. I nodded and watched, speechless, as he rushed off to help the smallmunity crew set up tables. His smile was different, wider, and easy. Rainer joked with the men as they hauled therge tables into ce. He had the amazing ability to charm anyone, but today it didn¡¯t seem as smooth. Rainer¡¯s stylish suit coat was flung over a chair, his sleeves were rolled up, and his cor hanging open. More than that, his every movement seemed looser, more rxed. ¡°This has been a nice break from your office, hasn¡¯t it?¡± Deanna asked. ¡°He certainly seems to be enjoying himself. Or is he always like that?¡± ¡°He¡¯s like that,¡± I said, ¡°except a little more buttoned-up, a little more, I don¡¯t know, corporate. Our job is highlypetitive, and his charm gives him an edge.¡± Deanna nodded. ¡°That¡¯s why n left his office job. He didn¡¯t like spending all his time jockeying for position. It always distracted him from the projects. Here he can aplish something from start to finish and see it firsthand. Some men need that.¡± I looked at Rainer again and thought Deanna had a good point. At Hyperion, the projects had a way of ovepping and blending. It all amounted to lines of data in the end. That¡¯s why a lot of the junior executives treated their jobs as a game. They couldn¡¯t see the results as concrete, or real, and so made a joke out of the whole thing. I thought Rainer was the king of that, the leader of the good times, but now I wondered. What if all Rainer needed was a project like this? Maybe it would curtail his yboy ways. ¡°From the looks of your te, I¡¯m going to say that¡¯s a fooda,¡± Barbie said. She heaved herself onto the pic bench next to me. ¡°Though, on second thought, I see what have you so distracted. Who¡¯s that?¡± ¡°Barbie? What are you doing here?¡± I asked, blinking owlishly. ¡°You told me to stop by. You knew I couldn¡¯t resist food.¡± My sister turned to Deanna. ¡°I ate lunch an hour ago, but that doesn¡¯t seem to matter anymore. I¡¯m starving.¡± Deanna grinned at my sister¡¯s rounded belly. ¡°I remember waking up in the middle of the night and having to raid the refrigerator when I was pregnant.¡± Barbie smiled. ¡°So, how long has she been staring at him? Are we going to have to get his number for her?¡± I swatted my sister¡¯s arm. ¡°That¡¯s Rainer Maxwell. My co-worker.¡± Deanna saw my sister¡¯s ck-jawed reaction and stood up. ¡°How about I get you a te? I¡¯ll be back in a minute.¡± ¡°Rainer?¡± My sister asked and then let her jaw fall open again. ¡°As in, holiday party hunk, Rainer?¡± ¡°I never said that. I never called him that,¡± I hissed. Barbie gave Rainer another long look. ¡°I can see why you fell for him. Wow. I thought you said he transferred or something.¡± I shoved my te away from me, dropped my elbows on the table, andid my head in my hands. ¡°I said he wasn¡¯t who I thought he was.¡± Barbie pried my hands away from my face. ¡°So, who is he?¡± ¡°The office yboy. The kind of guy who whispers all sorts of romance in your ear one night and then doesn¡¯t remember your name the next day. He¡¯s also the junior executive who horned his way onto my team just in time to catch the big bonus.¡± ¡°Gorgeous, rich, and a total scoundrel,¡± Barbie said. ¡°I better go introduce myself.¡± My sister was fast despite her pregnant belly, and I had to scramble to catch her arm. ¡°Why? You don¡¯t need to meet him. Just enjoy your second lunch.¡± Barbie narrowed her eyes at me and twisted her arm free in one easy move. ¡°You might be all cool and professional, but I remember what you were like that Christmas. You glowed brighter than our Christmas tree. If he¡¯s the one who sparked that in you and then snuffed it out, I¡¯m going to give him a piece of my mind.¡± ¡°He didn¡¯t snuff anything out, Barbie, please. Rainer¡¯s just like all the other junior executives. Charming and cutthroat. Lazy until ites time to take credit. You¡¯ve heard me talk about work. Seriously. Do you think it¡¯s a good idea for me to fall for anyone at my office?¡± Barbie studied my face and then looked back at Rainer. She frowned. ¡°I want him to be different. He seems different.¡± Rainer caught us looking at him and waved. He shook hands with the crew and then strode towards us. ¡°You must be Tasha¡¯s sister,¡± Rainer said. ¡°Nice to meet you.¡± Barbie reached out to shake his hand, but I looped my arms around her shoulders and turned her away. ¡°My sister was just picking up something to eat on her way home. I¡¯m going to walk her to her car.¡± Rainer looked hurt but erased the evidence with another bright smile. Now, he looked more like the man I knew from the office. He even pulled on his suit coat and buttoned up his white shirt. ¡°Guess I better get back to work then.¡± Barbie nced from him to me and back again. ¡°I hear you¡¯ll be working over here in the East Bay for a while,¡± she said. ¡°Tasha will have to bring you by our house one of these days. We could have dinner.¡± ¡°Thank you. I¡¯d like that,¡± Rainer said. ¡°Let¡¯s not make any ns yet,¡± I said. ¡°We¡¯re not just here to have fun.¡± Rainer¡¯s smile cooled. ¡°Speaking of work, Mr. Reynolds is ready for the final pitch. I¡¯m going to walk him through the garden.¡± ¡°The garden?¡± I scoffed. ¡°It¡¯s a lumpy patch of weeds.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Ms. Nichols,¡± Rainer said, ncing at my high heels. ¡°I can handle it.¡± He smoothed down his shirt and buttoned up his suit coat. Barbie and I watched him get out his phone as he met up with Mr. Reynolds in the parking lot. It was enough of a transformation that even Barbie looked confused. ¡°See?¡± I asked. ¡°He¡¯s sweeping in to take all the credit. I¡¯m the one who found this location and convinced them to let use in the first ce. And I did all the work on the app, which is the whole point of this whole thing.¡± ¡°So, what are you going to do?¡± Barbie asked. She too looked at my high heels. I kicked them off. ¡°I¡¯m going along for the final pitch. I¡¯m going to record him trying to take all the credit so I can y it for Stan.¡± ¡°You¡¯re going to tell on him?¡± Barbie asked. ¡°No. I¡¯m just not going to let him get away with business as usual,¡± I said. Barbie watched me scoop up my high heels. ¡°I¡¯d say this is anything but business as usual.¡± Across the parking lot, Rainer was giving me an inscrutable look. I waved for him to wait for me, but all he did was throw his hands up in a gesture of irritation. ¡°See? What was all that about?¡± I asked Barbie. She sighed. ¡°Maybe he was trying to be nice.¡± I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. ¡°And that¡¯s why I love you. You¡¯re always trying to see the good in everyone.¡± ¡°He can¡¯t have any good in him?¡± Barbie asked. It was my turn to sigh. ¡°You don¡¯t know the corporate world. It¡¯s all smiles and backstabbing.¡± My sister looked skeptical, but she wished me luck anyway. I waited while she waddled off to find Deanna and the rest of the barbecue, then I spun on my bare feet and marched over to the garden patch. Both Rainer and Mr. Reynolds looked at my bare feet but then continued their conversation. ¡°I guarantee that your garden will have a personal touch because that is exactly what Hyperion needs. We need to prove that GroGreen is best used outside, in the garden. So, this is right where we¡¯ll be.¡± Mr. Reynolds turned to me. ¡°I know publicity stunts always sound like a good idea, but are you sure?¡± I winced at the rough ground but covered it with a bright smile. Inside my suit pocket, I pressed record on my phone, certain Rainer would still try to take the credit. ¡°My team did not design GroGreen to be nothing but a game. We want to show what GroGreen makes possible.¡± Rainer caught my arm as I stepped on another sharp rock. ¡°Tasha here has the real vision. She¡¯s been with GroGreen from the brainstorming stage. With her in the lead, you can be sure we¡¯ll see all the possibilities her amazing application makes possible.¡± I wrenched my arm free from Rainer. Did he know I was recording him or was he giving me the credit? Mr. Reynolds scratched his chin. ¡°Well, you¡¯ve convinced me. I¡¯m excited to see what you can do with this little patch ofnd, and I¡¯ll make sure the wholemunity knows.¡± I let Rainer do the rest of the hand-shaking and back-pping as I carefully picked my way out of the rough dirt. He caught up to me at my car as I opened the passenger side door and sat down to rub the soles of my scuffed feet. Rainer knelt in front of me. ¡°Good work out there. This is going to be something.¡± ¡°d I could be part of it,¡± I snapped. He grabbed my high heels out of my hands and held them out of my reach. ¡°I was trying to be chivalrous. No one expected you to traipse through the garden in these.¡± I tried to refuse, but Rainer insisted on slipping my shoes back on my feet. All I could do was ignore his remark about chivalry and keep my eyes off his wide shoulders.Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. Rainer¡¯s strong hands were gentle as he cupped my ankle and tucked my toes into one high heel. ¡°Let me guess: you¡¯re just being nice because you¡¯re about to jet off early. Some party over in the city?¡± Rainer paused my second shoe still in his hands. He knelt on the ground and shook his head at me. ¡°Not at all. I thought we still had enough time to check out this native nt nursery one of the crew guys mentioned. It might look good if we sourced nts from local businesses.¡± I let him slip on my other shoe without a fight. ¡°The nursery¡¯s in my neighborhood.¡± ¡°Good,¡± Rainer said. ¡°I¡¯ll follow you to your ce.¡± ¡°My ce?¡± I asked sharply. I stood up, still only reaching his chin despite my high heels. Rainer¡¯s eyes swept down me and back up before he smiled. ¡°Just thought you might want to change your shoes.¡± I could have lost him in the curves and dead-end streets of my hilly neighborhood, but Rainer¡¯s new sports car was too fast. He popped out on the street in front of my condo and stood with his hands on his hips. ¡°I can see the Golden Gate Bridge,¡± he called. Episode Sixty-Two Tasha¡¯s [POV] He was still admiring the view when I came back down the steps. I¡¯d switched out my pencil skirt for a brand-new pair of dark jeans and dainty butfortable leather masins. ¡°I¡¯ll drive,¡± I said. ¡°My neighborhood can get a little confusing.¡± We wound down the tight little streets, past a rocky beach, and then over another crest to the corner by the bay where the native nt nurseryy. Rainer jumped out of my car and opened the door for me. ¡°I saw three bridges from the top of that crest,¡± Rainer said. ¡°I didn¡¯t know any of this was here.¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°No one ever thinks there¡¯s anything outside of San Francisco.¡± ¡°Honestly,¡± Rainer said. ¡°I think I might like your view better than my own.¡± I had a sh of what he would look like standing in my living. The far-off city lights twinkle behind him. His shirt was loose and open when he turned to gather me into his arms. I mmed the car door harder than I intended. ¡°Let¡¯s just look at some nts,¡± I said. Rainer had no idea what any of the nts were, but he listened intently. Then he pulled out his phone and got caught up. I tried to enjoy the lush nursery, all the green growing nts and bright blossoms reminding me of the house where Barbie and I grew up, but Rainer¡¯s typing irritated me. ¡°It¡¯s past two o¡¯clock. That counts as a full work day for you, doesn¡¯t it?¡± I asked. Rainer looked up from his phone. ¡°Are we done?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I said. ¡°Go ahead and join up with your friends or whoever you¡¯re texting.¡± Heughed and then turned his screen around so I could see. Rainer was sifting through GroGreen¡¯s extensive reference tool and marking all the native nts he saw was avable. ¡°All I have to do is take a photo of the leaves and GroGreen matches it to the nt index.¡± ¡°I know,¡± I said, not wanting to enjoy his pleased smile. ¡°And, all I have to do is click it, and the nt is automatically ced in our garden blueprint. This is amazing,¡± Rainer said. ¡°You can stop now,¡± I said. I stopped by a colorful geranium and crossed my arms over my stomach. ¡°I know you¡¯d rather be heading back to San Francisco. Dinner at some exclusive restaurant. Drinks on some amazing rooftops. Whatever it is, you can go now. You don¡¯t have to pretend you want to stay.¡± Rainer¡¯s smile disappeared, and I saw his jaw go rigid. He slipped his phone into his pocket and in one step, loomed over me. ¡°I¡¯m not pretending. I had a great day. Do you know how wonderful it is to get out of the office and do more than shake hands? I can¡¯t wait to break ground and get down to the nting.¡± I slipped around him, but the aisle was tight between two wide wooden tables of green nts. ¡°So, you like all the hands-on work? I guess I¡¯m the only one who likes the paperwork.¡± ¡°You do, don¡¯t you?¡± Rainer¡¯s smile returned, softer than before. ¡°You know what that means, right?¡± ¡°That I¡¯m just a boring, old pencil-pusher?¡± I asked. His eyebrows raised. ¡°No. I think that means that we make a great team. So, what¡¯s next, boss?¡± I was tired. Tired of fending off his warm charm and wondering why he smiled at me like that. It didn¡¯t help that Barbie had reminded me of how I felt when Rainer and I first met. That magical holiday party had left me walking on air for the whole weekend. Then he¡¯de back to his senses and didn¡¯t even recognize me on Monday morning. I was too tired to pretend it didn¡¯t hurt. It was taking every ounce of self-control I had to keep from wanting him again. I had spent months agonizing over why other women got to enjoy him, his flirtations, and his caresses. Why didn¡¯t I get the same treatment unless he was blind drunk? Because I was bored. ording to the office rumors, I was the Ice Queen. Rainer would never be interested in me. ¡°How about we grab some dinner?¡± Rainer interrupted my thoughts. I shook my head. ¡°I¡¯m done with high heels for the day. It¡¯s time for take-out and stretching out on my couch.¡± Rainer stepped aside so I could head back toward my car. ¡°I¡¯m overstaying my wee, aren¡¯t I?¡± I paused, wedged between him and the wide nt tables. The smell of honeysuckle was heavy around us and bees mumbled quietly. I couldn¡¯t tell if Rainer was ying a game or if he looked sad. ¡°It¡¯s not like I¡¯m kicking you out of my neighborhood. You like it here?¡± I asked. Rainer leaned on the table behind him. ¡°What¡¯s not to like? The city and all of that are far away. The winding roads, the hills, it all makes it seem like its own world. No wonder you¡¯re so good at your job. Once you get here, you¡¯re away from it all.¡± ¡°I thought you were admiring the view of ces you¡¯d rather be,¡± I said. ¡°I was admiring the distance. Why won¡¯t you believe me when I say I had a good day out here?¡± Rainer asked. I was being unkind. As my mentor repeatedly reminded me, when I got too paranoid about work, I started to turn into the very kind of co-worker I hated. I couldn¡¯t see a single reason why Rainer would be lying, so I gave in. ¡°Well, if you like Thai food, then you¡¯re wee to have dinner with me.¡± It wasn¡¯t until after we¡¯d picked up the food, plus a bottle of red wine from my local market, that I started to panic. Rainer was walking up the steps to my condo. The man who had just bought a mansion in Presidio Heights, the man who only dined at the finest restaurants with fawning women, was about to eat pad Thai off of paper tes in my tiny condo. My fingers fumbled with my keys. ¡°My ce is a mess. It¡¯s tiny. Maybe we should have eaten in the restaurant.¡± Rainer snorted. ¡°Toote now. You¡¯re not the only one who wants to get out of ufortable dress shoes.¡± I opened the door, still surprised when he slipped off his polished Italian shoes and padded into my cramped living room in his dress socks. He peeled off his suit coat and tossed it over the back of a threadbare armchair, and didn¡¯t say anything when he almost tripped over the oversized steamer trunk I used as a coffee table. ¡°Give me a second and I¡¯ll find some clean tes,¡± I said. ¡°Paper tes are fine,¡± Rainer said. ¡°Who cares when we have this view to look at.¡± He walked to the window, and I remembered my sh fantasy with an ufortable twinge. Rainer waspletely at ease as he tore himself away from the view. I pulled two tes out of my cupboard with a loud rattle, determined that we¡¯d at least eat on real china.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°I know it¡¯s cramped in here, but it¡¯s usually just me.¡± ¡°Well, I was going to say this ce has everything you need until you said that.¡± Rainer pinned me with a long look. I cleared my throat and groped in a drawer, trying to get my thoughts under control. It had been months since I had brought anyone home. Work was always such a good excuse, but Rainer wasn¡¯t buying it. I tossed him a corkscrew. ¡°All I need is dinner and a ss of wine.¡± Rainer opened the wine and poured tworge sses. ¡°You don¡¯t bring anyone home? I¡¯m honored.¡± I heaped two tes to overflowing and skirted around him to my small table. ¡°You don¡¯t count. You¡¯re from work.¡± Rainer was right behind me when I put the tes down and turned around. ¡°Work¡¯s over there. Far away. This is different.¡± I should have hated the thrill that ran up my back. I should have recited every name in the long list of his known office conquests in my head. I should have pushed him away and reminded us both that work was all we had. Instead, I kissed him. His sharp intake of breath assured me he was just as shocked as me. His lips were tart with the first sip of his wine, but the second kiss was warmer, sweeter. I reached up on tiptoes to brush my lips against his again. Without my high heels, I felt small, slight against his wide chest. His loose cor brushed my bare neckline and the caress of it made me want to lean in. He was tall and strong; there was so much power there. At work, I spent every second guarding myself, holding myself up higher and straighter. It felt so good to let it go and sink against him. Rainer¡¯s hands slipped around my waist, crushed me to him, and then backed off. I felt the heat of them hovering just over my hips, and I longed to feel the pressure of his grasp again. Then Rainer let out a delicious sigh that made my fingers flex. I was the one with the power, no matter my diminutive height. Suddenly, the kiss caught fire. He was the one sumbing; I had the upper hand. ¡°No.¡± I pushed to let go of his arms but stayed on tip-toe. ¡°This is different,¡± Rainer repeated with a ragged breath. Rainer had been different all day. Or had I just seen a different side of him? I wanted to believe that under his smooth exterior, Rainer was different. I drew my hands up to his cor and slipped open the next button. This was different, I realized. It felt inevitable. Ever since he stumbled into me at the office holiday party, I had known I wanted this, and there was no turning back now. If I was going to be a rumor, then I at least wanted to enjoy what everyone would assume. I opened another button and then pressed my lips to his warm throat. Rainer¡¯s pulse was galloping, but his hands were slow. He gently tugged my blouse lose, unbuttoning the top of my jeans as he worked his way around my waist. When Rainer¡¯s hands slipped under my blouse and brushed against my bare skin, I lifted my lips from his throat. ¡°Tasha,¡± he whispered. He teased me with two kisses then tugged my blouse up and over my head. I stepped back, suddenly self-conscious. I had seen the other women at the office he had been with. Then I saw his eyes. Rainer didn¡¯t blink as his eyes dropped from my lips to the whitece of my bra. The delicate and revealing lingerie seemed to captivate him. He reached out both hands, palms up. I shook my head and reached for his shirt. ¡°Fair is fair.¡± I lost myself in the next kiss, the touch of his skin against mine, and only surfaced long enough to help him slip my jeans down over my hips. Rainer fell back onto my couch and pulled me down onto hisp. I resisted, not wanting to lose the friction of my thince against his dark chest hair. I sat down astride him, reveling in his approving moan. I pressed smiling lips against his mouth until his hands pulled me closer. Rainer sped me, and our bodies rubbed together, the tantalizing friction so acute between my legs that I moaned out loud. In response, he popped the sp on my bra and peeled it out from between us. Again, I moaned as he pressed me up against him and released me. I flowed against him like a wave. When I felt the exquisite strokes bringing me higher than words, Rainer wrapped his arms around me and shifted me down onto my back on the couch. My hands helped him as he tugged off my whitece panties and then reached for his waistline. We fumbled, and heughed, bemused by his clumsiness. I wanted that smile, wanted to feel it, and ran my hands up his arms to grasp his shoulders. Rainer¡¯s smile gave way to a hungry growl, and he lowered himself into my arms. We both moved slowly, his weighting over me slowly as my feet drifted up his legs to wrap around his waist. Then our lips touched, and Rainer devoured me with a kiss. I arched up, feeling him hard against me, then he shifted, and we suddenly fitted together. So deep, so tight, his breath panting against my wet sigh of pleasure. I rocked upward, just a slight pull with my legs, and we both groaned in ecstasy. Rainer¡¯s lips never left mine even as our rhythm sped and slowed. He teased me, and himself, as he withdrew and went deeper. I felt his muscles shudder, and contract, concentrating until the pressure pushed everything out of my mind. There was nothing but a bright burst that radiated through every inch of me. The wild waves of it caught Rainer, and he dropped his head to my shoulder with a long, emptying sigh. We waited, my hands drifting up and down his back, his lips drawing a trail from my ear to my shoulder and back again, until the waves subsided. Then Rainer looked at me, the electricity back in his blue eyes, and I remembered the inevitable is rarely a good thing. What had I done? Episode Sixty-Three Rainer¡¯s [POV] The city lights of her view glowed. Tasha¡¯s small condo was lit from it, and the effect was a magical semi-darkness. In it, her skin was honey. God, if I kept thinking like that, I would have to devour her all over again. I eased up, immediately missing the warmth of Tasha¡¯s body. ¡°How about I light a fire?¡± I asked. Tasha nodded quickly, but there was a small, glowing smile still on her face. She sat up when I turned away to the firece. She tossed my boxer shorts over my shoulder, and I could hear her slipping back into her clothes. When the kindling was zing, I turned around to find her blouse and jeans all tidy. At least her hair was still loose and tousled. ¡°I¡¯ll grab our tes,¡± I said, pulling on my pants as I jumped up. ¡°Thanks,¡± Tasha said. She eyed my bare chest as I brought our full tes to the coffee table. I handed her her wine and wished there was more I could do for her. Tasha was quiet, too quiet. I wanted her praise, but I didn¡¯t need it; I knew what I had felt extended through both of us. I just wanted her to say something, anything. My fork stopped mid-air and a pile of jasmine rice spilled back onto my te. I wanted Tasha to ask me to stay. I wouldn¡¯t, I mean, I couldn¡¯t. I wasn¡¯t the kind of man who stayed all night and cuddled, but there it was, the urge to pull her close and hold her until the mes burned down to embers. ¡°I can¡¯t get over your view,¡± I said. ¡°Me neither.¡± Tasha eyed my bare chest again. Iughed and held out a forkful of curry for her to try. Tasha shook her head. ¡°Am I seeing a blush on your cheeks?¡± I asked. Tasha almost spilled her wine. ¡°I think we¡¯re a little past blushing, don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I said. ¡°If you do a few of those things again, you¡¯ll have me blushing to my toes.¡± She finally let loose a giggle. ¡°Stop. We¡¯re not talking about that.¡± ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± I said. I leaned over and kissed her neck. ¡°Talking¡¯s overrated.¡± ¡°What would we even have to talk about?¡± Tasha asked. I knew what she was thinking. Outside of work, what did we have inmon? My phone buzzed in the kitchen and saved us both. Tasha nodded for me to answer it and took arge bite. At least I knew she wasn¡¯t going anywhere. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, it¡¯s not work,¡± I said. Tasha coughed. ¡°You work past sunset?¡± I chuckled but bit the inside of my cheek when I saw the message from Berger. He and the guys were out in San Francisco and my absence was a major topic of conversation. Berger had called my assistant and heard all about my day in the East Bay. With Tasha. The messages then devolved to the current odds on me bedding the Ice Queen and a list of suggestions for if I managed to get the chance. I had to send out a message reminding Berger of my interior designer. Then I realized he might know She. I swore at my phone and then turned it off. When I rejoined Tasha on the couch, the fire was warm, but her expression was cool. Even though the couch was a jumble of cushions, her clothes were wrinkled, and her hair was still a seductive riot, Tasha looked prim. Her te was bnced on top of where her knees pressed tightly together. She pretended to eat as if nothing was wrong, but I knew the magic glow was gone. ¡°Speaking of work¡± she started to say. I groaned and cut her off. ¡°No. You¡¯re not going to do that. Can¡¯t we just finish dinner? Maybe have another ss of wine?¡± ¡°But you have to drive back to the city tonight,¡± Tasha said. I lost my appetite and left my te untouched. ¡°I can always call a cab.¡± Tasha put her te on the coffee table and swept her hair back over her shoulders. I caught her hand before she could twist her hair into a neat bun. She froze at my touch and then firmly pulled her hand free. ¡°It¡¯s always better to catch Stan early in the morning, especially with a progress report. He¡¯ll be in a better mood the earlier we catch him,¡± Tasha said. ¡°You¡¯re setting an early meeting?¡± I asked. Tasha fumbled under the couch and found where her phone had fallen. ¡°I think it¡¯s best, don¡¯t you? We need to measure our campaign inch by inch so we don¡¯t waste more resources.¡± I watched her type the email to Stan while I pulled on my shirt. ¡°I¡¯ll just be going then.¡± Tasha walked me to the door of her condo and I held my breath before I stepped outside. I wanted her to grab my arm; she wouldn¡¯t even have to pull me back. Instead, she kept both hands t on the door, her body pressed against it like it was a shield. That empty want stretched out as I waited a few more seconds, but nothing happened. I felt that hollowness even after I crossed the Bay Bridge and drove toward Presidio Heights. I red the horn and cut around slow tourists, revving my sports car past sane speed limits. I liked hearing the tires scream as I took off from red lights, jumping ahead of traffic so I was out on my own. A speeding ticket would have been the perfect punctuation for the night. I had gone too fast and screwed everything up. That moment, that mushroom cloud of passion, was still reverberating, but now it was a permanent ck mark on my record with Tasha. Had she thrown me out to protect herself or had I just been used as a one-night stand? I couldn¡¯t imagine Tasha being so stupid as to choose an officemate for casual sex.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Only I was that idiotic. The thought that Tasha had shut me out to protect herself lit up the rest of my drive. My neighborhood was dark, and the majority of the mansions were empty and silent. All the other upants were off on exotic vacations or living the good life in some other corner of the world. I imagined some of them, energetic couples, happy families, all somewhere warmer, brighter. I left the sports car in my driveway and walked around back onto my deck to watch the cool fog. San Francisco was shrouded in fog, the ocean views an undting mass of eerie gray. Tasha¡¯s neighborhood was still clear and bright. She¡¯d said the fog never reached her hilly street. The thought twisted in my chest. I shouldn¡¯t have left. I should have stayed and made her d that I was there. I kicked the deck railing and turned to let myself into my echoing mansion. I imagined Tasha still cozy in front of the fire, sipping her wine. I snorted to myself. ¡°Probably in pajamas that button up to the top. Or she¡¯s already in bed with her outfit for the morning allid out properly.¡± My giant white marble firece yawned at me across the wide living room. For a minute, I considered breaking up my old dining room chairs and starting a fire of my own, but my phone rang. ¡°Tasha?¡± I asked. I stood up and paced around in three tight circles. Did she want me to drive back over? ¡°Did you make it home okay?¡± Tasha asked. ¡°Worried about me, huh?¡± I asked. ¡°And here I thought you didn¡¯t care.¡± Tasha carefully cleared her throat. ¡°About that, Rainer. It was aplete mistake. I have no idea what came over me. I¡¯m sorry. You don¡¯t have to worry about it. It won¡¯t ever happen again.¡± ¡°I think you forgot ¡®we never should have and ¡®let¡¯s just pretend it didn¡¯t happen.''¡± I kicked one of my dining room chairs. Tasha paused, considering the loud tter, and then said, ¡°I don¡¯t mean to be a cliche, but this is my career we¡¯re talking about.¡± ¡°That¡¯s all you care about, isn¡¯t it?¡± I stopped myself and held the phone back while I took a deep breath. ¡°Never mind. Your secret is safe with me. It¡¯s already forgotten.¡± ¡°Good night, Rainer.¡± Tasha hung up on me. ¡°See you in the morning,¡± I muttered. Then I threw my phone across the living room. That damn phone was the reason I waste for our early morning meeting. It had somehow skidded into the kitchen and slipped under the refrigerator. By the time I found it, there were already five messages from my assistant. ¡°Yeah, yeah, I¡¯m on my way,¡± I said when Topher called again. ¡°Mr. Berger dropped by to see if you were in. He seemed to think you were going to be veryte this morning.¡± Topher was worried, I could hear it in his voice. ¡°No, I¡¯m on my way.¡± ¡°It¡¯s just, I saw this morning that a meeting with Mr. Eastman had been added to your calendar by Ms.¡± I gripped my scuffed phone hard. ¡°I know. I¡¯ve still got time to grab a coffee upstairs, so find me there if anything elsees up.¡± Berger and the other junior executives were already lounging around the dining hall when I arrived. I ignored their catcalls and jokes, poured myself arge coffee, and then came to stand at the corner of their table. ¡°So?¡± Berger asked. ¡°We¡¯ve got numbers to run. What happened with the Ice Queenst night?¡± ¡°Who says I was with her? There¡¯s a whole other world of women over there in the East Bay,¡± I said. Episode Sixty-Four Rainer¡¯s [POV] They allughed, and that¡¯s when I caught sight of Tasha. She stopped in the doorway of the dining hall and then made an abrupt exit. Luckily, no one else saw her hasty retreat, but it was all I could focus on. There was no doubt she was worrying thatughter was about her. ¡°Convince me,¡± Berger said. ¡°Traffic on the Bay Bridge is crap. Give us some details, or we¡¯re all staying in the city like civilized men.¡± I shook my head. ¡°No details before cocktails. Don¡¯t you have a meeting to get to?¡± Bergerughed and stood up. ¡°A few days working with the Ice Queen have changed you, man. Now all you talk about is meetings.¡± Everyoneughed again, but I was relieved when they filed past and I could drop my fake smile. Tasha would already be waiting in Stan¡¯s office, and I worried about how close she was to her mentor. ¡°d you could join us, Rainer,¡± Stan said as I rushed through his office door. Tasha barely nced up from her reports, but I caught a warming blush on her cheeks. It made me angry. She was the one who had invited me back to her condo, she had kissed me first, and now she was pretending to be the blushing maiden. For all I knew, Tasha chewed up and spit out eligible men every day. She was just smart enough to choose her prey outside of work. I vowed to do the same, starting that very night. It was the only cure I knew for being used by a beautiful woman. She was beautiful. Tasha wore winter white pants with gold high heels. One bright heel bounced nervously as I sat down next to her. ¡°I see you didn¡¯t bring the reports I sent you.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure my assistant will¡± Topher slipped through the door, ran the reports over to me, and then disappeared again within seconds. ¡°Does your assistant even know where the printer is?¡± Stan asked Tasha. Tasha sent him a sharp look, but the older man just smiled. He looked back and forth between the two of us and crooked an eyebrow. I decided the view from his window was impressive enough for another look, and Tasha refused to look up from her neat numbers. ¡°Well,¡± Stan said. ¡°Looks like things are, ah, progressing between the two of you. The GroGreenmunity garden campaign is already gaining an online following. The only surprise was finding out you two had signed on for the long term. Didn¡¯t know you were both so interested in gardening.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll make sure the garden is up and running before I train a recement. Then it will only be about courtesy contact and trouble-shooting,¡± Tasha said. I snorted. Was that what she thought she was doing when she calledst night? Just a quick courtesy call to tell me I was a mistake she already regretted, and the problem was solved. ¡°What about you, Rainer? The selfies I saw from themunity center crew showed you looking very happy.¡± Stan rested his elbows on his desk and pinned me with an unblinking gaze. ¡°Are you putting down some roots out there in the East Bay?¡± ¡°Everyone needs a hobby, sir,¡± I said. Stanughed and dismissed the rest of the conversation. The meeting ended with Tasha rushing out so fast that both Stan and I felt the breeze. The older man nced at me and said, ¡°Tasha always was too quick to exit.¡± I was still reliving it, Tasha¡¯s hasty dressing, the way her whole demeanor pushed me far out past arm¡¯s length, and how I had ended up alone on her front steps all within minutes of leaving her warm body. It hurt. The worst of it was I wondered if Tasha thought that was how I acted. Was she trying to level some sort of female-solidarity revenge on me? If so, she was wrong. I never rushed out or left things unsaid. I certainly didn¡¯t callte at night just to rip out someone¡¯s already-bruised heart. Ego. I meant to say ego, but the mistake repeated in my head.Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°Is this a bad time?¡± Tasha asked. She backed out of the door. ¡°Yes. I mean, no. Don¡¯t go. More reports to look over?¡± I asked. Tasha inched back into my office but stayed near the open door. ¡°I, ah, hope I didn¡¯t call tootest night.¡± ¡°Toote for what?¡± I asked. ¡°I, I just wanted to make sure that everything is all right. You know, between us. Stan says the board is adamant that we continue as a team.¡± I sat up and attacked my keyboard. ¡°Speaking of teamwork, have you seen the photos of us on social media?¡± Tasha hesitated but finally came around my desk to stand behind me. ¡°Did they use the keywords and tags I suggested?¡± ¡°Yes, see?¡± We both froze as the first photo appeared on myputer screen. It was a shot I had taken just before lunch, Mr. Reynolds on one side of me and Tasha on the other. Her cheek was pressed to mine, our smiles just inches apart. The next one was from the preschool teacher with her ss coloring our Popsicle stick row markers. In the background, Tasha leaned on the ssroom counter and smiled as I said something in her ear. There was even one when I had bent down to retrieve the rosebud that Tasha had dropped. The look on her face, her soft smile, hit me hard in the chest. Why hadn¡¯t she looked at me like thatter in the night? Had I screwed everything up that badly? ¡°Rainer?¡± I stood up, identally cornering Tasha behind my desk. ¡°Yes, I think we need to talk, but this time I get to start¡± ¡°Rainer?¡± A light but sharp voice called from my still-open office door. I turned around and felt as if the room kept spinning. Ellison Ramsey didn¡¯t even pause in the doorway. She breezed across my office in her haute couture, trailing the expensive perfume that was specially made just for her. That scent used to make my mouth water, but now it choked me. Before I could move, Ellison came around my desk and kissed me firmly on the mouth. ¡°Rainer, darling, you look as wonderful as always. Oh, I didn¡¯t see you there.¡± Tasha drew her shoulders back and held out her hand. ¡°Tasha Nichols, Rainer¡¯s co-worker. And you are?¡± ¡°Runningte.¡± Ellison dismissed Tasha and turned to me. ¡°I know it¡¯sst minute, but I¡¯d love to take you out for lunch.¡± ¡°Not today¡± I stopped as Ellison danced her fingers up my chest and then cupped my cheek. ¡°You always made time for me in the past,¡± she said with a hot little smile. Tasha slipped around me and headed for the door. I would have thought she was fine, that she was made of ice if she hadn¡¯t bumped into the chair on her way by. She nced up, embarrassed that I had seen, but I saw more than that. Her expression was bewildered, hurt, and angry. Tasha did feel something for me! Enough to be jealous of the sudden appearance of an ex-girlfriend. ¡°This is Ellison Ramsey,¡± I called out, stopping Tasha. ¡°She dumped me t years ago, back when I didn¡¯t know the difference between a single malt scotch and a blend.¡± ¡°He was helpless, but a fast learner,¡± Ellison said. She fingered the cor of my shirt and tickled my ear. ¡°Nice to meet you, Ms. Ramsey.¡± Tasha recognized Ellison, as everyone did. She was at the pinnacle of high society in San Francisco and ran the circle that most junior executives dreamed of joining. ¡°So, you¡¯re just another one of Rainer¡¯s co-workers?¡± Ellison asked Tasha. ¡°I¡¯m the leader of the project he just joined. I made him rich,¡± Tasha said. The two women eyed each other, and I didn¡¯t know whether to find a front-row seat or run. I was shocked, not at Ellison, she was always high-handed and catty, but Tasha surprised me. She didn¡¯t shrink under Ellison¡¯s withering stare. She seemed to find it funny. Tasha¡¯s whole demeanor was self-confidence. This was her territory, she was in charge, and no one was able to diminish that. Ellison turned her back on Tasha. ¡°That¡¯s what I came to talk to you about, Rainer, darling.¡± ¡°Getting rich?¡± I asked. ¡°I thought all you had to do was snap your fingers.¡± I should have stopped Tasha as she finally turned to leave, but Ellison¡¯s words worried me. My ex-girlfriend sauntered over and shut the office door firmly behind Tasha. Then she turned and practically pounced. ¡°That was always the problem, wasn¡¯t it? I was rich, and you were jealous of my money. That¡¯s why you made me so jealous with all your little flirtations.¡± I tried to make it back to my desk, but Ellison slipped her hands up my cor and caught them tightly behind my neck. ¡°Wait, that¡¯s it, isn¡¯t it? You broke up with me because I didn¡¯t have as much money as you?¡± Ellison nodded. ¡°I didn¡¯t want a man who would resent me. But, oh, Rainer, how I wanted you. Now that you¡¯re rich too, there¡¯s no problem.¡± ¡°Are you saying you want to get back together?¡± I asked. ¡°No,¡± Ellison said. She licked her smiling lips. ¡°I want us to get married.¡± Episode Sixty-Five Tasha¡¯s [POV] The whole rush and go of the office was nothing but a haze. When my assistant tried to show me a new fashion website she found, I couldn¡¯t focus on herputer screen. Somehow I made it into my office and shut the door behind me. I shook my head and reminded myself that I had work to do. Minutester, I was standing at my desk, phone in hand, with no idea whose number I dialed. ¡°You¡¯ve reached Barbie. Leave a message.¡± I blinked. ¡°Uh, hi, it¡¯s me. I, ah, wanted to say thank you for stopping by the new garden site. Everything is going great with the project. . .¡± I bit my lip to keep from blurting out that Rainer was currently in his office with an ultra-rich model hanging around his neck. My sister would have no idea who Ellison Ramsey was, and she wouldn¡¯t care. Why did I care? ¡°Anyway,¡± I continued. ¡°I¡¯ll be working closer to home more often now that themunity garden is a go. Maybe I can stop by and see what you¡¯re doing with the spare bedroom. Want some help shopping for a crib and stuff?¡± My hands started to sweat. Barbie was definitely going to hear something was off. I quickly rattled off a hopefully breezy goodbye and hung up the phone. There was no way my sister was going to dismiss that voicemail as distracted by work. I slumped into my desk chair. How was I supposed to work when I was stuttering and saying words like ¡®stuff?¡¯ I had to pull myself together. I closed my eyes and prepared to re-imagine my entire day. I pictured myself in bed, just before my rm went off. For the first time in months, I had been startled awake by the insistent buzzing. Normally, I was already awake and plotting my work day by the time the rm sounded. Somehow I had fallen into a deep sleep thatsted through what was left of that night. Then I remembered the night. Rainer¡¯s kisses continued even as we gasped against each other¡¯s lips. The weight of his body over me, his flexing arms sheltering me, his hands tangled in my hair. The very real thought was that everything outside my condo window had disappeared and San Francisco was on another. I wasn¡¯t the only one with stars in my eyes. Rainer had given me a long searching look, our bodies still pressed together, until I had to look away. That was the reason I had called himter. He looked surprised and happy like he didn¡¯t want to let me go. It was clearly a new sensation for him, and it terrified me. I couldn¡¯t have that on his face while we tried to work together. I wasn¡¯t an experiment for him to conduct when business got boring. If he wanted to y with long-term, he¡¯d have to find some other chump. Or a filthy rich, gorgeous ex-girlfriend. I rocketed out of my office chair and dug out my phone. The recording I took of Rainer giving me all the credit was still on my phone, and I should have yed it for Stan earlier. It had felt petty and childish, but now I knew it was just self-preservation.Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. Rainer got what he wanted whether it was billions of dors or the cream of high society women, and I needed to make sure he didn¡¯t take anything more from me. For once, I was going to make sure I got credit for all my hard work. Especially since I still had to put up with Rainer on my team. I jumped two feet when my office door flew open. Amy rushed in with her hands pping. ¡°You¡¯ll never guess who¡¯s here,¡± my temporary assistant squeaked. ¡°Guess!¡± ¡°I thought you said I¡¯d never be able to guess, so why don¡¯t you just tell me?¡± I put away my phone and wandered back around my desk. Amy followed me, grabbed my arm, and dragged me to my office door. ¡°Only the biggest fashion icon in all of San Francisco. Did you know she¡¯s had lunch with Princess Kate?¡± ¡°I think Kate Middleton¡¯s title is actually ¡®Duchess,''¡± I said. Amy shook my arm. ¡°That doesn¡¯t matter. She¡¯s practically our princess.¡± ¡°Who?¡± I asked, prying loose Amy¡¯s grip. Amy rolled her eyes and pointed. ¡°Ellison Ramsey. Isn¡¯t she the best? Just look at that outfit!¡± I didn¡¯t want to look. I tried again to pry my assistant¡¯s hand off my arm, but it didn¡¯t work. Amy was caught in the grip of awe and could not move a muscle. I panicked, not wanting Rainer to nce up and see me held dumbstruck in the door of my office while Amy practically drooled over his ex-girlfriend. They didn¡¯t look like exes anymore. Ellison used one elegant hand, glittering with delicate gold rings, to brush back her honey-brown hair. My hair looked like rustpared to hers. She was willow thin, dressed as if the clothes had been made for her, and as tall and self-assured in her posture as royalty. ¡°Oh my God, can you imagine if they got married?¡± Amy woke from her trance with a fresh squeal of delight. I yanked my arm free and spun back towards my desk. Everyone in the office was watching Rainer and his glorious ex-girlfriend, or fiancee. I cringed but had to look again. All the junior executives were milling around, waiting for an introduction or the chance to p Rainer on the back. He¡¯d be congratted and revered all afternoon after just one sighting with Ellison Ramsey. It didn¡¯t matter to me. In fact, if Rainer was distracted by someone like her, then I could go back to running my GroGreen campaign on my own. It should have been a good thing. My stomach hurt, and my chest felt like concrete. I couldn¡¯t catch a deep breath. All over a conniving,dder-climbing, soulless businessman? No, I told myself firmly. Clearly, office romances were not for me. A businessman would never make me happy, especially not Rainer Maxwell. ¡°Amy shut the door. I need to get back to work,¡± I said. My temporary assistant rolled her eyes again but finally did as I asked. I stared at myputer screen and waited. Work would save me, it always did. When my office door popped open again minutester, I swallowed a scream. I was set to finally tell my temporary assistant just how useless she was and that she was fired, and then I looked up. Rainer stood in the doorway with one hand raised to knock. ¡°I just need a minute,¡± he said. I squeezed the ballpoint pen I was holding until I thought it would snap. ¡°People usually knock before they open the door.¡± ¡°We got interrupted this morning, and I wanted to make sure I followed up,¡± Rainer said. He stepped into my office and shut the door on Amy¡¯s curious face. It was impossible not to feel the pull of attraction. Rainer was dressed in a custom-tailored suit, and yet he still looked asfortable as a man in his favorite tee shirt. Maybe it was the way his dark brown hair was just barely under control. Or the way his wide, strong hands were always flexing as if looking for something to do. Strip away the silk tie and the polished shoes, and he would be drop-dead gorgeous. I tried not to remember how well I knew that. ¡°What do you want, Rainer?¡± I asked. He scowled at me. Then he looked just over my shoulder, at something far out the window. He couldn¡¯t see farther than the gray building next door, but his eyes were searching. Rainer sighed and dropped his gaze back to me. ¡°Ellison is an ex. I had no idea she¡¯d be stopping by today,¡± he said. I tossed my pen down andced my fingers tight together. ¡°If this isn¡¯t about work, then you should go.¡± ¡°I know what people think I¡¯m like,¡± Rainer snapped. He ran both hands through his hair, destroying the careful control there, and sat down across from me. ¡°I don¡¯t just jump from woman to woman. I don¡¯t want an endless string of one-night stands.¡± I jumped up, unable to look directly into his eyes. ¡°I have work to do, Rainer. I¡¯m not your therapist.¡± He let out a harsh sigh and stood up. ¡°You seriously think we can just go back to work?¡± It felt like fleeing, but I went to the office door andid a hand on the handle. ¡°We¡¯re at work. Though I really should be getting over to the garden site.¡± ¡°Drive together?¡± Rainer asked, but his sharp tone said he knew my answer. ¡°I have a few things to finish up here. You go ahead. I¡¯ll meet you there.¡± ¡°Yeah, sure,¡± he said. ¡°Who needs to have a real conversation when there are papers to shuffle? Stick with what you can organize and put on a schedule. Safer that way.¡± I opened my office door and kept my eyes on the far wall. Work had always been my escape, my shield, and it scared me more than I wanted to admit that Rainer saw that. He must have seen my reaction to Ellison too, otherwise, he wouldn¡¯t havee in to try to exin. I swallowed hard despite the nervous sparks in my stomach. Rainer was perceptive, but he didn¡¯t know me. He stopped right in the doorway, inches from me. I had no choice but to meet his blue eyes. It was a struggle, but I answered his gaze without blinking. ¡°I¡¯m not going to let you file me away, Tasha,¡± Rainer said. ¡°Why not?¡± I clung to the door but refused to back down. His jaw flexed, and he shifted, not sure whether he wanted to kiss me or shake me. ¡°Because we¡¯re not done.¡± ¡°Check your messages,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve rescaled themunity garden project. One month and we hand over the reins. One month and all I have to do is call the recreation department to check-in. You¡¯ll be off the hook if youst that long.¡± Rainer was angry. ¡°You¡¯re going to organize me out of your life? Too bad I don¡¯t respond to memos.¡± I watched him stalk out of my office and down the hall before I berated myself. Why couldn¡¯t I just ignore him? Instead, I all but issued him a challenge. Rainer Maxwell never lost a bet. By the time I drove to the garden site, I had remembered every office legend I had ever heard. He once beat an intern in a race up the stairwell. Ten flights and they both copsed, but Rainer was three steps ahead. James Berger once bragged about bringing a celebrity to an executive dinner party. Rainer brought an entire iconic rock band. And then there were the women. Rainer once destroyed the office kitchte to surprise a particrly beautiful barista with pink cupcakes. The countertop was stained with red food dye for a week. His date for the holiday potluck one year was the hottest chef in San Francisco. He jogged the first two miles of a marathon in dress shoes, just to get a pretty runner¡¯s number. It didn¡¯t mean anything, I assured myself. I was just another challenge to Rainer, and once he saw that I was ambivalent he would have to give up. All I had to do was ignore him, and he¡¯d go back to wild dates with models and dinners with rich socialites like Ellison Ramsey. I rubbed a hand over my heart. Then everything would go back to normal. And I would be fine. I had to give myself the entire speech over again as I got out of my car at the garden site. Rainer was already there, somehow charming a group of junior high students into enjoying the nting phase. They gathered around him to see what he did with the app and then spread out to work the garden plot. The teachers stood to the side in awe. Episode Sixty-Six Tasha¡¯s [POV] One of the teachers, a young woman with a long, silky ponytail, licked her lips as she watched Rainer lean down to check a row of seeds. ¡°I¡¯d understand your annoyance if it was reversed,¡± Barbie said. I jumped at her sudden appearance next to me. ¡°What?¡±Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°If your co-worker was just standing around ogling women. But, he looks pretty busy to me. So, why are you staring at him like that?¡± Barbie asked. ¡°Why are you here?¡± I asked my sister. Sheughed, holding her pregnant stomach as it jiggled. ¡°I don¡¯t know, but I¡¯m d I came. What is going on with you and him?¡± I clutched my clipboard and checked a row of calctions. The seeds would take two to three weeks to sprout. That¡¯s when I needed to schedule a professional photographer. I needed someone who could capture Hyperion executives with their shirt sleeves rolled up. Rainer¡¯s bright smile as he answered the junior high kids¡¯ sarcasm with easy retorts. He would look good, I mean, the garden would look great on our website. ¡°Hello, earth to little sis.¡± Barbie waved a hand in front of my eyes. ¡°You left me a cryptic message this morning. Remember? I came to see what was going on with you.¡± ¡°I was just a little distracted this morning. It was nothing. How are you? Have you painted the baby¡¯s room yet?¡± I gave my sister a bright smile. ¡°Oh, no, you don¡¯t. You¡¯re telling me right now what is going on between you and your gorgeous co-worker.¡± Barbie crossed her arms and tried to look fierce, but a grin kept bursting through. I swatted her arm. ¡°Nothing. Nothing is going on. I¡¯m pretty sure you¡¯ll see him in the headlines soon hanging off the arm of some great socialite.¡± ¡°But before that, something happened between you two, didn¡¯t it?¡± Barbie turned and stared at Rainer until I stepped in her way. Then she grinned at me. ¡°I can see it. If you¡¯d stop frowning, I¡¯d say you look good.¡± I tried not to look at Rainer, but he was staring over at us. ¡°You¡¯re not seeing anything.¡± Barbie shrugged her shoulders and patted her belly. ¡°Fine. You two aren¡¯t trading nces. You know what else I see?¡± I barely stifled a groan. ¡°Barbie, I don¡¯t have time for this.¡± ¡°Make time,¡± my sister said. ¡°With him.¡± Her mischievous grin was gone, and there was a faraway look in her eyes. I turned to see what had my sister so captivated and I caught my breath. 6¡¯3¡å, wide shoulders, gold-blond hair, and a bright, easy smile. He shut the door of his pickup truck and caught the eye of every woman in a 500-yard radius. ¡°Yeah,¡± I said. ¡°He¡¯s my new guy. I mean, he¡¯s thendscape architect who volunteered to help out.¡± My sister fell silent as he marched up to us with a shy nod. ¡°You must be Tasha Nichols. Wow. Ah, yeah, I¡¯m Seth Lar son, thendscaper.¡± He had dark-brown eyes, chocte brown. I imagined him licking the dark chocte with a spoon. Were we getting ice cream sundaes together? ¡°Sorry. Yes. I¡¯m Tasha Nichols.¡± Barbie elbowed me. ¡°And this is my older sister, Barbara.¡± ¡°Please, call me Barbie,¡± my sister said. Seth smiled at her round belly, took her hand, and kissed the back of it. ¡°You look beautiful today, Barbie.¡± ¡°Oh, that¡¯ll get me through at least another month.¡± Barbieughed. She hugged her pregnant belly and stepped back. ¡°Why don¡¯t I give you two a minute.¡± I shed my sister a look and turned back. Seth was a step closer, his hand out to shake mine. I put my hand in his and willed away a sudden dizziness. When I saw Rainer stomping out of the garden plot while watching us, I swayed. Seth caught me. ¡°You all right?¡± he asked. ¡°Yes, sorry. Fine. Just a pebble under my shoe.¡± I straightened up and brandished my clipboard. ¡°Let me get you caught up.¡± I couldn¡¯t stop talking, even after I saw Mr. Reynolds catch Rainer in a round of long-winded introductions. Every time I nced at Seth, all I saw was a patient smile. His warm, brown eyes watched me, charmed despite my over-exining. This couldn¡¯t be happening. Was he flirting with me? ¡°This is a great operation, Tasha. Can I call you Tasha?¡± Seth tipped the clipboard down. My arms were like jelly. Rainer was shooting us rapid-fire nces, but I couldn¡¯t read his expression. ¡°Yes, please. Call me Tasha,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for running on and on. Did I miss anything?¡± Seth held up a hand. ¡°All I really need to know is what I can do for you. How can I help?¡± My jaw dropped over the overt invitation. Seth¡¯s arm was circling around my shoulder. I skittered back and thought I caught the curve of a grin on Rainer¡¯s face. ¡°Ah, we really just want your opinion on the project. Feedback on the application. Maybe some suggestions for projects, DIY, for the students?¡± ¡°Great,¡± Seth said. ¡°How about you show me around the garden plot, I¡¯ll put together a few ideas, and then we can talk about them over dinner?¡± I almostughed out loud. I¡¯d been flirted with before and asked out before, but never so warmly or so quickly. Half of me thought there was no such allure as an unavable woman, but I couldn¡¯t figure out why I was off the market. Barbie swooped in, taking delight in patting Seth¡¯s muscr arm. ¡°Sorry to interrupt, honey. I have to cancel dinner tonight, Tasha. I¡¯m so d you have other ns. I feel just terrible.¡± ¡°Great. Then it¡¯s a date?¡± Seth asked. Seth held his hand out to me, but Rainer stepped in and shook it. ¡°Rainer Maxwell, Tasha¡¯s co-pilot on this project. And you are?¡± Barbie threw me a horrified look, but the two men nodded and shook hands. ¡°You can call me Seth, Mr. Rainer. I¡¯m thendscaper Ms. Nichols asked to consult on your project. By the way, I think this is so inspiring.¡± Seth turned back to me with another warm smile. Rainer cleared his throat. ¡°So, where would you like to start? Should I show you over to the garden plot or do you think you can find it from here?¡± Seth sized Rainer up and then nced across the parking lot to the plot we had cleared. ¡°I think I can find my way.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll go with you,¡± I said. Ignoring Barbie¡¯s not-so-subtle cheerleading moves, I moved to stand next to Seth. ¡°My co-workers are all buying up new properties, and I¡¯m thinking of joining the trend. Maybe you can give me some suggestions for fixing up my lot before I try to sell?¡± It was a good thing Seth saw neither my sister¡¯s face nor Rainer¡¯s scowl. We fell in step across the parking lot, but it was hard to concentrate on what the attractivendscaper was saying. Rainer was following close behind, and my sister could not help but trail along out of curiosity. Seth noticed too, but it didn¡¯t seem to bother him. A light breeze ruffled his hair, and his brown eyes crinkled at the corners. ¡°I¡¯m not going to lie; I read up on yourpany. Congrattions on your recent windfall. Still, I hope you stick around the East Bay for a while longer.¡± ¡°Me too,¡± Barbie puffed. ¡°Can you imagine our Tasha here in some big empty house? All white marble and modern lighting?¡± Rainer caught his shoe on the curb. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with that?¡± ¡°It¡¯s wrong for my sister,¡± Barbie said. I red at my sister behind Seth¡¯s back. ¡°Rainer¡¯s right. I¡¯ve got to keep up with the execs.¡± Seth ignored the uneven terrain of the conversation, ¡°Well, I¡¯d be happy to swing by your ce and give you a few suggestions. Still, you might find it¡¯s nice to have an oasis away from work.¡± ¡°She could buy an oasis,¡± Rainer muttered. ¡°Would that make all of you morefortable?¡± I asked Rainer. ¡°Would you and Berger and the other boys be happier if I spent my money in the same ridiculous ways as you?¡± ¡°I see a good vantage point from over there,¡± Seth said. He skirted away from us and into the garden plot. Barbie followed him but kept an ufortably keen eye on me. ¡°So, I bought a new house in a better neighborhood,¡± Rainer said. ¡°Is that really ridiculous?¡± I crossed my arms. ¡°No, and I¡¯m sure you and your girlfriend are going to have a great time redecorating it. That doesn¡¯t mean I have to go making the same split-second decisions about everything.¡± Rainer moved in front of me and tipped my chin up with one finger. ¡°Ellison is not my girlfriend. She¡¯s just an ex who stopped by. I¡¯m not dating anyone woman exclusively.¡± ¡°Just eight or nine?¡± I bit my lip to keep more froming out. Rainer ran a hand through his hair. ¡°Look, I know what you¡¯ve seen at work, but I¡¯m telling you the truth: it¡¯s all a show. Sure, I like flirting and dating and being seen with beautiful women, and it doesn¡¯t hurt thepany¡¯s publicity, but that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m a total jerk.¡± ¡°You just y one in real life?¡± I scrubbed a hand over my mouth. ¡°Hey, Seth, why don¡¯t I show you ouryout on the application?¡± Rainer spun away from me and headed into the garden plot. It took longer than usual for my sister to sidle back over to me. She pressed one hand to her rounded belly and blew out a hot breath of air. ¡°How about you suggest a path in this garden? Maybe something nice and even, not too steep.¡± ¡°Very funny, Barbie.¡± I turned back to my car then realized the clipboard I hoped needed retrieving was still in my hand. ¡°Tasha, you¡¯ve got to tell me what¡¯s going on with you.¡± Barbie caught my hand and squeezed it. I ground my teeth but gave in. ¡°Let¡¯s just say it¡¯s ten times worse than the office holiday party.¡± My sister shook her head. ¡°This doesn¡¯t seem so one-way to me. Didn¡¯t you see that jealous face he pulled when you went to walk with Seth?¡± I snapped my pen lose from the clipboard and pretended I had something to write down. ¡°He¡¯s just territorial. Like an ape.¡± Barbie smiled. ¡°Finding it hard to say nice things about him? Sure sign you¡¯re feeling something for Rainer.¡± I couldn¡¯t let my sister see she might be right, but there was nowhere for me to go. Except over to where Rainer sat sizing up thendscaper. Rainer was waving his phone around and showing off the GroGreen application with great enthusiasm. Seth was studying the garden, a Zen-like smile on his tanned face. ¡°You know, I¡¯ve been thinking,¡± Barbie said as she heaved herself up the small hill to stand next to me. ¡°Oh, yes, Barbie suggested a garden path. Something nice and even,¡± I said. Both men smiled and nodded, but all I saw were Rainer¡¯s fierce eyebrows. Even as he smiled, they were drawing tighter together. Our conversation was clearly not over, but I had no idea why he was so set on convincing me Ellison wasn¡¯t his girlfriend. Why would that matter to me? ¡°No, actually, I was thinking you should try that great little hotel in Tasha¡¯s town. You know, when you go on your date. Do a pregnant mama a favor and try one of those Cuban sidecar cocktails,¡± Barbie said. So, that¡¯s what jealous looks like, I thought as Rainer¡¯s frown deepened. He suddenly noticed a text message and got out of the garden plot as if the hillside was on fire. The only problem was, I watched him go before remembering Seth was still there and smiling at me. Episode Sixty-Seven & 8 Rainer¡¯s [POV] Skipping the line never gets old. I got out of my new car at the valet stand and was directed straight up the stairs. A whole herd of people pushed against the velvet ropes, and I saw a few shbulbs fire off. I was at the front door of the best new restaurant in San Francisco, and it was opening night. My smile was camera ready, and I shook hands with half a dozen people in the foyer. Champagne appeared beside me in seconds, and I was assured my table would be ready momentarily.Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. The whole restaurant was a hum of anxious staff and excited patrons, the newly rich and the eager to be seen. All I could think about was Tasha. I downed my champagne and bnced the empty flute on a passing tray. Then I pulled out my phone and sent Tasha a message, just to see if she got her invitation to the restaurant opening. ¡°Expecting someone?¡± Berger asked. He sidled up next to me in the crowd and tipped back a fresh ss of champagne. ¡°Just checking to see who else from the office is taking advantage of our invites,¡± I said. Berger smirked. ¡°Sure. I¡¯m betting on everyone but Ms. Nichols. How about you?¡± ¡°She might surprise you,¡± I said. ¡°No, man, you¡¯re the only one who¡¯s surprising me. We have to talk more about this whole digging-in-the-dirt thing you have going on with Tasha.¡± Berger was serious and seemed to have me cornered. I didn¡¯t want to do it, but I waved across the room. Anyone was better than Berger and his office gossip. ¡°I see my brother. Better go say hello. You know how it is.¡± I pped Berger on the shoulder and slipped through the tight crowd to my brother¡¯s small table. Evan gave me a sour smile as yet another excited customer jostled past. He pped a hand over his teetering wine ss. ¡°Trying to jump in at thest minute? Not so sure your charm can get you a table tonight. We had to make reservations months ago.¡± I gave my sister-inw a peck on the cheek and noticed her pursed lips. Here they were at the trendiest restaurant, but it wasn¡¯t enough. She wanted a better table and med my brother. ¡°Father mentioned you were having quite an upswingtely,¡± she said to annoy her husband. My brother scowled. ¡°Yes, we¡¯re all curious how long you¡¯ll manage to keep this up.¡± I caught another flute of champagne off a passing tray. The server paused to let me know my table was ready. Near the front windows, in a spacious spread ofrge, round tables, a white-gloved waiter beckoned me. ¡°Gotta run; I¡¯m famished. Good to see you. Say hello to Father.¡± I could feel Evan¡¯s eyes bore a hole in my back as I walked away. My sister-inw was alreadyining about my prime table position when her whining was cut off. ¡°There you are, darling.¡± Ellison appeared out of nowhere and gave me a graceful kiss on the cheek. The normal wave of attention that followed her broke on a soft sigh. I could already hear all the tabloid spection buzzing out over social media. ¡°I know you¡¯ve got a wonderful table, but how about you join me at mine?¡± ¡°And where¡¯s that?¡± I asked, suspicious. Ellison justughed and looped an arm through mine. ¡°The chef¡¯s table, silly.¡± Within minutes, we met the cream of the kitchen staff and greeted the genius chef himself. I was starving but posed for a series of photographs with half a dozen people I didn¡¯t know, and always with Ellison hanging on my arm. Then the chef showed us our seats, more of a raised dais on the edge of the open kitchen, with the entire jealous restaurant behind us. I was d when the food began to appear and I didn¡¯t have to think about all the spective eyes looking in our direction. The chef was weaving a story with tantalizing appetizers as details when I finally got a message back from Tasha. She¡¯d sent me a picture of a fresh torta from the taco truck in her little neighborhood. It was bnced precariously on a stack of work folders on her dining room table. I could see the lights of the bay from her window in the background and felt the distance across the dark water between us. I sent back a snapshot of the tiny, frothy dollop that was my next course and told her how jealous I was of her dinner. I would have given up my seat at the chef¡¯s table in an instant if I was offered a ce on the couch next to her. At least I recognize the garnish, I wrote. Have a good thyme, Tasha replied. I chuckled out loud and reread the exchange a few more times before tucking away my phone. I would have felt guilty if Ellison hadn¡¯t been texting directions to her cronies while she raved about the food. It was next to impossible to concentrate on the delicately structured next course. It was a bird¡¯s nest of infusions, and I didn¡¯t understand which part was edible. All I could think about was a cold beer and a better view from across the bay. My phone buzzed again, and I dug it out eagerly. ¡°Uh oh,¡± Ellison said, checking her phone. ¡°Looks like my paparazzi are at it again.¡± Berger sent me the photograph that was making the rounds faster than lightning. It was me smiling down at my phone with the suggestion that Ellison Ramsey was sending me love notes. The winning consensus was that we were back in love and on the verge of engagement. Letting the junior execs know we should start nning a bachelor party, was Berger¡¯sment. Then I realized he¡¯d sent the photograph to our work group. Tasha was at the top of the list, and she was one of the only ones not toment. How could I casually tell her it was all wrong? Ellison seemed to think it was all right, even though she knew full well I hadn¡¯t been smiling at a message from her. She smiled and flirted her way through the entire night and seemed very surprised when I told her limo driver to take me home. ¡°I¡¯d invite you in, but I barely have furniture,¡± I said. ¡°Rainer, don¡¯t be silly. You cane to stay with me,¡± Ellison said. Her driver held the door open and gestured for me to get back inside. I shook my head. ¡°Since when do you turn in so early? Isn¡¯t there some gallery that needs attending, or ate-night exclusive concert?¡± Ellison pouted. ¡°There is. Are you sure you won¡¯te with me?¡± ¡°Thanks for a wonderful, ah, meal,¡± I said. ¡°Goodnight.¡± Imended myself for letting her down easy. There was no way she could have missed those hints. I slept well, thinking that I was free and clear once again no matter what social media said. Then I woke up to a screaming saw. Sledgehammers hit the walls of my living room, and I scrambled downstairs in a panic. ¡°What in the hell do you think you¡¯re doing?¡± A dapper interior designer introduced himself as Raphael. ¡°Ellison Ramsey sent me over, and I just had to get started right away. Of course, we¡¯ll discuss color schemes and styles, but first, we need to fix the flow of the first floor.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, what?¡± I asked, tugging on my dress pants. ¡°Ms. Ramsey¡¯s gift to you the full interior design treatment. And when I told her there had to be renovations, she told me to send you her way. The darling says you can stay with her until we¡¯re finished here. Isn¡¯t she just an angel?¡± Raphael pped his hands and strode off, giving orders. ¡°No, wait. There¡¯s been a mistake,¡± I said. ¡°This isn¡¯t a gift; she referred you to me. And I¡¯ll be living here throughout all the renovations.¡± Raphael and the crew were right to look at me like I was insane, but I wasn¡¯t about to let Ellison railroad me into being her doll. She had never been good at not getting her way, but this was insane. After a few meetings, a social media storm, and Ellison thought I really was going to be her fiance. I wanted to scream. It was a relief to drive away, though it took all the way to the bridge until the ringing in my ears stopped. And it wasn¡¯t just the sledgehammers. Raphael had hounded me for color palettes and had repeatedly screeched that I needed a vision board. I was d to get the San Francisco Bay between me and my new zoo. Themunity garden was just what I needed. Until I saw Tasha. ¡°Fun nightst night?¡± she asked. ¡°Should I be expecting some big announcement soon?¡± I flinched. Of course, Tasha had seen the photograph of me at the restaurant opening. But, how could she, of all people, think that photograph meant Ellison and I were getting engaged? ¡°There¡¯s no announcement,¡± I said. ¡°Why do people assume that?¡± Tasha gathered up a t of parsley nts. ¡°Because everyone likes when the big-time yboy settles down. Gives everyone hope,¡± she said. I tugged the t of nts out of her hands. ¡°I was looking at your message in the photograph, you know.¡± Tasha¡¯s hands fell to her sides. For one moment, her eyes held mine and then she strode off towards the garden. She knew the smile I had on my face in that photograph, the smile everyone thought meant I was in love, was actually for her. So, naturally, she refused to talk about it. ¡°You know what gives me hope?¡± I asked. Tasha dropped down next to the first garden row but nced up at me. ¡°No. What?¡± she asked, cautiously. ¡°Preschoolers nting herbs,¡± I said. ¡°The chef¡¯s foodst night was spectacr, but nothing beats that moment when kids realize you can eat things straight from the garden.¡± ¡°That reminds me,¡± Tasha muttered, ¡°make sure to update the poisonous nt¡¯s image index.¡± I waited until she¡¯d made a note on her phone. ¡°Aren¡¯t you happy?¡± I asked. ¡°I¡¯m happy.¡± Tasha¡¯s gaze fluttered to mine again. ¡°Sitting in the dirt at 10 a. m. makes you happy?¡± Iughed but stabbed my trowel into the dirt harder than was necessary. ¡°Yes. Why is that so surprising?¡± ¡°Because you¡¯re this shy, social scene, a fashionable billionaire who everyone is keeping tabs on. You just spentst night at the most exclusive restaurant opening. And you seriously want me to believe that this is where you¡¯d rather be?¡± Tasha pushed her fists into the dirt but kept her eyes on me. ¡°What happened to the insanely rich exec in his penthouse office suite?¡± I nted the first parsley. ¡°I think you got us confused at the end there,¡± I said. ¡°I never said I wanted to be the big boss man. That¡¯s you.¡± Tasha swiped her hair out of her eyes. ¡°But this is all part of the show, isn¡¯t it? Don¡¯t get me wrong; the campaign is working, but,e on. Tell me the truth. Aren¡¯t you ready to get back to your big-money life?¡± I felt a surge of jealousy. ¡°Is this all Mr. Salt-of-the-Earth talking? My big-money life? What about you? You could have been at the restaurant openingst night. You should havee.¡± ¡°I thought you were jealous of my food truck torta,¡± Tasha said. I nodded. ¡°I definitely would have skipped the whole suit song-and-dance if you¡¯d invited me over,¡± I admitted. Tasha stood up and brushed the dirt off her knees in an abrupt manner. ¡°I told Stan that I would check in with him this morning. I¡¯ll just make the call from my car.¡± Episode Sixty-Nine Rainer¡¯s [POV] I was ready to dwell on what she¡¯d said and not said when the preschoolers came out from their ssroom. Soon the garden was filled with screeches andughter, dirt, and the need to save the small nts from trampling feet.Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. The kids loved seeing our virtual garden n andparing it with the real thing. I wanted Tasha to enjoy it ¨C the very real application of her program ¨C but she remained in her car. Then when she dide out, Tasha found ways to avoid me. It wasn¡¯t hard with about fifteen moving obstacles in between us, but she made sure we didn¡¯t say another word to each other until lunchtime. The preschoolers marched off back to their ssroom, and I cornered Tasha near the frame for our runner beans. ¡°Please tell me you n to order sandwiches from that great little deli again,¡± I said. Tasha crossed her arms. ¡°Aren¡¯t you headed back to the office yet?¡± ¡°We get lunch breaks, Tasha.¡± She sighed. ¡°Fine. You go get cleaned up, and I¡¯ll order. What do you want?¡± I couldn¡¯t help it. I winked at her. ¡°You know what I like.¡± Tasha gave me a pained look but pulled out her phone. The fact that she didn¡¯t hesitate before ordering my favorite sandwich gave me hope, and I headed for themunity center with a good feeling. Tasha fought my good feeling every step of the way. Not that I med her. She was right about everyone seeing me as a yboy. It had been a persona that had served me well for years. And, after our little slip-up, it was natural for her to keep her distance. Especially since she thought I was involved with another woman. All I had to do was prove to her that wasn¡¯t true. And to find ways to close the distance between us. Iid out a nket on the grassy hill next to the garden and motioned for Tasha to bring our sandwiches over. She did and then couldn¡¯t find a polite reason to not sit and eat with me. I smiled at her. ¡°So, the big Hyperion g ising up. It¡¯s required. You ready to put on a fancy dress and have some fun?¡± Tasha shook her head. ¡°I suppose we all have to bid high on this year¡¯s silent auction,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯ve got a great strategy for that. Stick with me, and I¡¯ll show you how to make charity gs a good time,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve been to all the same Hyperion gs as you have,¡± Tasha reminded me. I was about to ask her if she¡¯d go as my date, but herment pushed me back. Tasha was right. She was my equal, and she didn¡¯t need my invitation or mypany. I still couldn¡¯t imagine why she¡¯d let me hang around so long. ¡°Or we could skip it and grab ate-night dinner at that taco truck,¡± I said. Tasha smiled. She smiled, and I felt like jumping up and sprinting to the top of the hill. Then Seth showed up and made himselffortable on the corner of the nket closest to Tasha. ¡°The garden is looking great,¡± he said. ¡°And I¡¯ve got the ns for the garden path your sister suggested. I was thinking about your idea of pressing leaves into the wet cement for imprints. I think we should make a signpost key and it can be an identification game the kids y.¡± Right to business. No wonder Tasha liked him. I got up and crumpled up my sandwich wrapper. ¡°Thanks for lunch, Tasha. Before I go, maybe we can chat a bit more about the g?¡± I asked. Tasha gave a distressed frown and stood up quickly. ¡°Sure, I¡¯ll just walk with you¡± ¡°Hey, yeah, I forgot I¡¯d see you at the g too,¡± Seth said. ¡°I¡¯m so d Tasha invited me. I don¡¯t get much of a chance to wear a tuxedo. Should be fun.¡± Tasha didn¡¯t move, and neither did I. Then she bit her lip and asked, ¡°How about Ellison? We¡¯ll see her there too?¡± I should have stuck to flying solo, but as soon as I knew Tasha was taking thendscaper, I had to bring someone. Ellison, of course, was delighted. The night of the g, when Ellison walked in on my arm, no one doubted that I was happy. How could I not be over the moon with a stunning force of grace and fashion on my arm? Ellison navigated the charity g with ease, and everyone looked at me with new respect. Even Berger and the crew of junior execs couldn¡¯te up with any jokes. We were the perfect couple. ¡°Did you hear me, Rainer?¡± Ellison asked. ¡°What? No.¡± I blinked and turned back to her. Across the downtown ballroom, Tasha had just arrived with Seth, thendscaper. The damn golden boy looked great in a tuxedo, and I hated him even more. ¡°I was asking if we should bid on Italy or Switzend,¡± Ellison said. ¡°The Switzend trip is in the fall so it might work better with our schedules, but the Italy vacation is at a private castle.¡± ¡°Our schedules?¡± I asked. Ellison patted my arms and put down a bid on the Italy vacation. She then led me through the rest of the silent auction, making tasteful choices and impressive bids. The charity was the only time Ellison let her deep, deep pockets show. Or maybe she¡¯d been writing my name after the astronomical sums. I couldn¡¯t pay attention to anything but the swirl of Tasha¡¯s deep-blue dress across the room. I was still watching her when my phone buzzed. I saw Tasha take out her phone too, so I raced to check the message. ¡°Apologies,¡± I said to Ellison. ¡°I¡¯ve got to meet with the other execs over the speeches and toasts. You know how it is.¡± Ellison knew and smiled. She was the perfect woman, but my stomach coiled when she reached up to kiss me. That¡¯s why I turned my face at thest moment and let hernd on my cheek. The feeling stayed with me as I met Tasha backstage. I couldn¡¯t even speak, I was so frustrated. Ellison was purposefully projecting the happy couple scene that everyone wanted to see, and no one noticed that I wasn¡¯t interested. I¡¯d have to be insane not to be interested. But all I wanted was Tasha. ¡°Stan wants us to do a quick speech about themunity garden,¡± Tasha said. ¡°Are you up to it?¡± ¡°If you¡¯re standing next to me,¡± I said. ¡°Good. Fine.¡± Tasha moved to open the curtains, but I grabbed her hand. She turned to me with a shocked expression, but I couldn¡¯t let go. ¡°I wanted toe here with you,¡± I blurted out. ¡°We¡¯re both here,¡± Tasha said as if I was a slow child. ¡°I¡¯ll stand by the podium while you handle the little impromptu speech.¡± ¡°Here¡¯s an impromptu speech,¡± I said. ¡°I can¡¯t leave it at just one night.¡± Tasha tore her hand out of mine. ¡°This is not the ce to discuss what, ah, happened. It was a mistake.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think it was.¡± I struggled to catch her other hand and hold on. ¡°It felt like the only thing I¡¯ve done right in a long time.¡± ¡°You¡¯re here with Ellison,¡± Tasha hissed. ¡°Only because you brought the hero to a bad romance novel,¡± I said. ¡°And how many times am I going to have to tell you that I¡¯m not with Ellison?¡± Tasha¡¯s cheeks were red red, and I knew she had sharp words waiting to y me with, but the curtain suddenly opened. She had no choice but to put her hand in mine and walk with me to the podium. The band stopped ying, and every eye in the ce turned to us. I didn¡¯t let go of her hand. Even after I¡¯d given the charity g crowd a two-minute run-down of GroGreen and our sessfulmunity garden, I held on to Tasha. She waited until we were shrouded behind the curtain again and snatched her hand back as if I¡¯d burned her. ¡°What were you thinking? Are you trying to cause a scandal?¡± ¡°We presented a united front,¡± I said. ¡°We should probably stick together for a few more minutes. People might want to talk to both of us about themunity garden and the campaign.¡± Tasha pped back my offered hand. ¡°I¡¯m not going to y the ¡®other woman¡¯ in your social media fairytale. We just work together, and that¡¯s it.¡± ¡°What are you worried people are going to think?¡± I took a step closer. Tasha backed up until she brushed against the curtain. ¡°Holding hands is not something co-workers do. People are going to think we¡¯re intimate.¡± ¡°Holding hands is nothing. You know what feels intimate?¡± I asked. I leaned forward. ¡°This feels intimate. We¡¯re hidden from sight back here. Just you and me.¡± For a split second, Tasha softened. Even in the dim light backstage, I could see her cheeks warming. I lifted one hand to feel the heat of her blush, and Tasha leaned her soft cheek into my caress. My other hand found her waist and pulled her forward just an inch. Our lips were a breath apart. ¡°No.¡± Tasha pushed me back. ¡°You¡¯re with Ellison, and I don¡¯t care if it¡¯s just for tonight or not. I¡¯m not going to be part of this merry-go-round of women you¡¯ve got.¡± I clutched the velvet curtain in a fisted hand. ¡°Stop trying to jam me into some little box,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m no more the incurable yboy than you are the ice queen. I know it¡¯s easier for you to dismiss me if I¡¯m defined, but I¡¯m sick of it. Tasha, please, please see that I¡¯m more than that.¡± ¡°What? Am I supposed to believe you¡¯re a changed man?¡± Tasha asked. ¡°Do you have any idea how cliched that is? I won¡¯t fall for it. So, what in the hell do you think you¡¯re doing?¡± ¡°I¡¯m trying to talk to you!¡± I let go of the curtain and let both hands curl into fists. Tasha arched an eyebrow. ¡°Fine. Talk. Tell me what you want. What do you want from me, Rainer?¡± Those words coupled with her challenging look stopped me. Tasha had finally caught me without a speech prepared. The truth was I didn¡¯t know exactly what I wanted from her. And she deserved a man who knew exactly how far he was willing to go for her. I didn¡¯t deserve another chance with Tasha. I didn¡¯t even deserve to hold her hand. ¡°Nothing to say?¡± Tasha asked. ¡°Then how about you let me talk for a minute?¡± ¡°Fine, but I¡¯m not done,¡± I said. Tasha tossed her hands in the air. ¡°But that¡¯s wh at we really should be talking about. It¡¯s over.¡± I could have hit myself in the head for not noticing it before. I¡¯d been so distracted that I hadn¡¯t thought through why Stan wanted us to make a quick speech at the g. ¡°Themunity garden project is done?¡± I asked. ¡°Don¡¯t feel bad, Rainer,¡± Tasha said. She chucked me on the shoulder. ¡°You got what you wanted out of it. You¡¯re a billionaire, and everyone loved our outreach campaign. Now, you can celebrate with a wild spending spree or a trip around the world, or whatever you want.¡± ¡°Did Stan say it was over or did he cut the funding?¡± I asked. Tasha¡¯s sudden frown belied her calm voice. ¡°The funding is done, and our presence is expected back at the office. 100%.¡± She fled before I could ask her how she felt. All I could do was stand there in the dark behind the heavy curtain and wonder what I was going to do next. Episode Seventy Tasha¡¯s [POV] ¡°I¡¯m not saying your dress isn¡¯t perfect,¡± Ivy said. ¡°Just let me know next time, and we¡¯ll get you something truly haute couture.¡± I thanked our waiter as heid down the gold-embossed menus. Since Ivy was intent on studying all the charity g photographs online, I left my menu unopened. ¡°I was assured that I could never go wrong with vintage Valentino. Plus, it¡¯s just a ck dress.¡± ¡°A drop-dead gorgeous dress.¡± Ivy gasped again. ¡°Wow. That is a low back.¡± Iughed and tried to snatch her phone away, but my friend was too fast. ¡°Ivy, stop. Please!¡± ¡°Oh, no, definitely not. Now I know why there¡¯s a buzz going around. It seems Ms. Ellison Ramsey has been knocked off her society pages throne. There¡¯s half a dozen photographs of you, plus more with you prominently in the background.¡± Ivy looked at each one. ¡°And a lot of you with Rainer Maxwell.¡± ¡°We work together,¡± I said. Ivy put her phone down. ¡°Yes, dear, I know you work together. What I didn¡¯t know is that you looked that great as a couple. I mean, no wonder the paparazzi were snapping photographs. You look pretty cozy.¡± I opened my menu like a shield. ¡°Please tell me I can order a drink with lunch.¡± ¡°Yes. How about a nice Riesling? We¡¯ll have the whole bottle at the table,¡± Ivy told our attentive waiter. He bowed and moved off through the linen-draped tables.N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. ¡°Whatever it takes for you to tell me the whole story.¡± I knew I couldn¡¯t put Ivy off. There wasn¡¯t much that she didn¡¯t get one way or another. Plus, outside of my pregnant and preupied sister, Ivy was the only one I had to confide in. Still, I tried to distract her. ¡°Do you think I should have a shrimp sd?¡± Ivy shook her head. ¡°We don¡¯t order off the menu, darling. The chef will send something out with hispliments. Now, tell me.¡± I plucked at the tines of my silver fork. ¡°What¡¯s to tell? There was an attractive man and apse of judgment, but we worked together, so it was a mistake. One that will never be repeated. Did you hear me? Never.¡± ¡°Oh, yes, I heard you. Sorry, Tasha, but saying ¡®never¡¯ twice is a sure sign it¡¯ll happen again.¡± Ivy gave me a sympathetic smile andid off until the waiter had filled our sses. I took a sip of the crisp wine and tried again. ¡°One mistake is enough for me.¡± ¡°But did you get enough of Rainer?¡± ¡°Ivy!¡± I felt a blush heat my cheeks and had to force cooler thoughts. ¡°Besides, I¡¯m in between projects now at work, and I have to focus.¡± ¡°What happened to themunity garden?¡± Ivy asked. ¡°I think that brilliant bit of PR is one of the reasons you ousted Ellison from the society pages. You managed to turn public opinion one-eighty, and now no one can get enough of you. Not even¡± ¡°Don¡¯t say his name,¡± I said. ¡°All I can think about right now is why Stan would cut off the funding so abruptly.¡± Ivy gave a delicate wave to a notable couple not far from us. ¡°If funding is the only problem, just give me five minutes. I have enough friends in this room alone to fund ten more years of that darling garden.¡± ¡°No. No, thanks. I¡¯m sure Stan had his reasons. I mean, he¡¯s right. The whole point of GroGreen and the campaign was to show thatmunities could do this on their own,¡± I said, hoping to convince myself. Ivy was not fooled. ¡°It¡¯s important to you. Why not throw in some of your own hard-earned money and I¡¯ll match you dor-for-dor? How expensive can it be?¡± I sighed. ¡°To keep a national campaign going across multiple media is much more than you¡¯d think. Plus, I¡¯d like to update the application with message boards and ways for themunity gardens to share photographs and ns. That means paying a development team and my team is not cheap.¡± Ivy held up her ss. ¡°Well, then here¡¯s to kicking in some serious money. I¡¯m not kidding, Tasha, you name your figure, and I¡¯ll match you. Then we¡¯ll get at least three more tables to do the same without even getting up.¡± ¡°Thanks, Ivy.¡± I smiled at my audacious friend. ¡°The only problem is that I don¡¯t have anything to contribute. My finances are, um, not liquid anymore.¡± Ivy raised one perfectly groomed eyebrow. ¡°What have you done, Tasha?¡± she asked. Now my cheeks were bright red. ¡°I invested it all and only left myself what I earnedst year.¡± She caught my dodging gaze and leaned forward. ¡°And why did you lock away all your newly made billions?¡± I took another long sip of wine and tried to sort it out in my mind. ¡°It felt like a lot of pressure. I¡¯m sure you felt it when you got married. All of a sudden everything¡¯s different when it¡¯s just a lot more numbers in your bank ount.¡± ¡°And what did you do before this big decision?¡± Ivy asked. ¡°What do you mean? Why?¡± I searched my memory. ¡°I was at work and my useless assistant was calling out tabloid headlines. I got up to shut my office door and just decided.¡± Ivy was not convinced. She saw that I had suddenly paled. ¡°Rumors like Rainer getting engaged to Ellison?¡± I wanted to cry; the connection was so sudden and so true. I had invested all of my money as some sort of spiteful response to Rainer¡¯s personal life. ¡°Oh, god, Ivy. Why am I ruining my life?¡± She patted my hand and refilled my wine ss. ¡°If it makes you feel any better, I don¡¯t think you¡¯re the only one doing crazy things. I mean, Rainer is refusing to get engaged to Ellison. Ellison Ramsey! You¡¯re both nuts.¡± Ivy¡¯s words stuck with me long after we finished our three-course lunch and said goodbye at the valet stand. I went back to work and was horrified to see Rainer chatting with Otto. He jumped up as if he¡¯d been waiting for me. Otto leaned on the security desk and grinned. ¡°Hello, Ms. Nichols,¡± he called. ¡°We were just talking about you.¡± Thest thing I wanted to see was the spective expression on my friend¡¯s face. Actually, second tost. Rainer was the one person I wanted to avoid at all costs. I tried to wave politely and keep walking. I nned to hit the regr bank of elevators and lose Rainer in the crowds returning from lunch. It backfired when I walked towards the executive elevator and the doors slid open. I had to step inside or Rainer would know I was avoiding him on purpose. I turned around just as he slipped in the doors. I saw Otto wave as the doors closed. It was just Rainer and me in the elevator. At least it¡¯s an express to the top floors, I told myself. ¡°So, what are we going to do?¡± Rainer asked. ¡°Excuse me?¡± I gasped. Rainer¡¯s expression broke into a surprised grin. ¡°Sorry, wasn¡¯t trying to be suggestive. But if you have a different idea for this elevator ride then, please, borate.¡± I wished I could slip through the floor and back down to the front doors. ¡°What are we going to do about what? Oh, you mean themunity garden?¡± I asked. ¡°Well, now that you mention it¡± I cut Rainer off. ¡°I¡¯m heading up to meet with Stan right now. First I want to hear his reasons for cutting off the funding, and then I¡¯ll decide which path I have to take.¡± Rainer¡¯s eyes slid to the stop button and then back to me. ¡°Wait, two paths? What are you talking about?¡± His mind was clearly on other things, things that made my heart stumble around. I cleared my throat. ¡°Stan knows by now that I love the GroGreen project, so I only have two choices: fight or beg.¡± Rainer leaned against the elevator wall and smiled at me. ¡°So, you don¡¯t want to move on yet either?¡± ¡°I thought you were ready to move on from the first moment you walked into our team meeting,¡± I said. The words hit home, and I felt bad for making Rainer wince. ¡°I¡¯m just surprised that you liked all the extra work.¡± ¡°Watching preschoolers nt carrots was not what I¡¯d call work. I enjoyed it,¡± Rainer said. I med the express elevator for the sudden lightness in my head. ¡°I love it. Plus, it¡¯s great for thepany, and I just have to make Stan see that.¡± Rainer stopped my babbling by standing up. He was suddenly too close. ¡°So, you¡¯re going to fight. Does that mean I should beg?¡± ¡°What?¡± I blinked up at him and forgot what I had said. ¡°Well, it seems to me that your advice for getting what you want is to fight for it or beg. So, Tasha, tell me which one I should do.¡± Rainer¡¯s gaze locked onto me. He was serious. Very serious. But I worried he wasn¡¯t talking about the GroGreen project anymore. It was all too much. The elevator was too tight and warm. Rainer was too close and causing too many thoughts to swirl around my head. I felt like a geyser about to erupt. I didn¡¯t know what else to do, so I got angry. ¡°This is all a game to you, isn¡¯t it?¡± I asked him. Rainer took a step back and hit the stop button on the elevator. It lurched to a halt as he asked, ¡°Are we talking about work or the rest of it?¡± ¡°The rest of it?¡± I practically screeched. ¡°There isn¡¯t anything else. You just want what you can¡¯t have. And you must think I¡¯m some kind of moron that I don¡¯t know as soon as I give in, you¡¯ll get bored and move on. I¡¯m not doing it.¡± ¡°You think I¡¯m heartless, don¡¯t you?¡± Rainer said. He restarted the elevator, and we made it to the executive floor in mere seconds. The doors slid open before I could control my breathing. ¡°I don¡¯t know what to think,¡± I said. ¡°So, I¡¯m going to work.¡± I shoved past him and headed straight for Stan¡¯s office. When my mentor saw me, he finished up his phone call in record time. Then he pressed the button to shut his office door and went to his bar cart. I waved off a stiff drink and Stan handed me a bottle of water. ¡°This can¡¯t all be about the funding for your public outreach, can it?¡± Stan asked. ¡°Just tell me what you want, Tasha, and we¡¯ll get it sorted out.¡± My eyes blurred but I refused to sniffle. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I should. I did. But now I don¡¯t.¡± Stan sat down in the hard-backed chair next to me and reached for my hand. ¡°So, take a minute.¡± I shook my head and blinked back the tears. ¡°No. Ridiculous. I just need a new project to focus on. Where do you need me?¡± ¡°Work can wait,¡± Stan said. ¡°Work is the only thing I know how to do.¡± My mentor stood up and paced around his desk. ¡°Then listen to your boss, Tasha. My decision still stands. GroGreen is done. Call it a sess. You can go back to public outreach andmunity work on your own time, but I think you should give the whole situation a little breathing room.¡± ¡°Whole situation?¡± I asked. Stan sighed. ¡°I hear rumors too, you know. You and Rainer getting to know each other were great for thepany at the start of your campaign. But, now, I think it¡¯s, ah, confusing?¡± I gave him a weak giggle. ¡°You¡¯re just mad the rumors aren¡¯t about us anymore.¡± ¡°Just say the word, my dear. One kiss, even just a peck on the cheek, and everyone would forget about you and Rainer,¡± Stan said. ¡°Desperate measures?¡± I joked. Episode Seventy-One Tasha¡¯s [POV] ¡°There¡¯s my Tasha.¡± Stan hit the button that opened his office door. ¡°Now, get to work. Pitch me a new project by the end of the day.¡± I walked out of Stan¡¯s office feeling more steady than I had since lunch. Until I saw Rainer. I panicked and walked in the opposite direction. On the other side of the executive floor, far from the spacious offices with amazing views, was a maze of cubicles where all the assistants and executive team members worked. It was a regr route for me as I often had memos and correspondences to give to Stan¡¯s assistants, but it seemed like everyone was watching me. My eyes peeked over the edges of cubicles, sliding away fromputer screens to watch as I bustled by trying to look busy. Rainer followed me. After a few calcted turns among the cubicles, it was obvious that he was chasing me. I acted casual and waved at a few people I knew, but my pace was too nervous and fast. I imagined if I turned and double-backed that Rainer would try to cut me off. I didn¡¯t want to end up face-to-face with him in the middle of a vast audience of co-workers. So, I pretended my phone was ringing and dove into a nearby break room to answer it. My hope that Rainer had missed my fast dodge was destroyed when he strolled into the break room after me. I was still holding my phone to my ear and held up a finger as if I was listening to someone who could not be interrupted. I made onest effort to skirt around Rainer, but he blocked the door. ¡°Great, yes. I¡¯ll make a note of it. Thanks,¡± I said to my inactive phone. ¡°Excuse me. I have to get back to my office. Stan wants a new project pitch by the end of the day.¡± Rainer grinned and stood firm in the doorway. ¡°You know that avoiding me shows you have feelings for me, right?¡± I caught my phone before it ttered to the floor. ¡°What? I don¡¯t have feelings for you, and avoiding you has nothing to do with that.¡± ¡°With what?¡± Rainer crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame. ¡°The fact that we had one fantastic night together?¡± My cheeks zed at the thought of someone overhearing us. I grabbed Rainer¡¯s arm and dragged him into the break room. He stepped forward willingly, and I found myself pressed up against the small kitchte counter. ¡°You¡¯re blushing. Your pulse is jumping. Why can¡¯t you just admit you¡¯re attracted to me?¡± Rainer asked. ¡°What good would that do?¡± I asked. Rainer smiled and leaned closer. ¡°See? It¡¯s questions like that, plus that merry little office chase, that makes me think there¡¯s something here we still need to explore.¡± I shoved against his chest hard. ¡°You¡¯re just bored. Most people find a new project when they¡¯re bored at work. It¡¯s a hell of a lot more professional than looking for another conquest.¡± He frowned at that but did not move back. ¡°What if I¡¯m not looking for another conquest? What if all I¡¯ve ever been looking for was right here?¡± I wiggled out from the counter, fueled by the anger I felt. How could he mess with my emotions like that? ¡°You practice that line at home?¡± I asked. Rainer grabbed my arm and swung me around. His lips crashed against mine and a wave of desire tumbled over me. When he broke the tumultuous kiss, his eyes shed. ¡°Tell me you didn¡¯t feel that.¡± I had to take a few breaths before I could speak, but then I managed to say: ¡°All I felt was inappropriate work behavior.¡± Rainer backed off with an angry sigh. ¡°Fine. We¡¯ll talk about this after work. Alone. Until you admit I¡¯m not wrong. There¡¯s something between us, and I don¡¯t understand why you won¡¯t let yourself feel it.¡± I straightened out my work blouse but couldn¡¯te up with a response. By the time I looked up from pressing my shirt primly, Rainer was gone. I took a minute to pour a cup of tepid coffee with a shaking hand. I figured now I could leave without looking as if I¡¯d been part of a scene. Then two co-workers hurried into the break room. I recognized the taller redhead from the time I caught her crying in a bathroom stall. The other co-worker, a dark-haired beauty with dramatic eyes, was the woman I had seen Rainer seducing at the end of the office holiday party. ¡°Good morning,¡± I said and tried to squeeze past them. The redhead blocked my way with her hands up. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry to do this, Ms. Nichols, but I admire you. You¡¯re an inspiration, one of the only female junior executives here, and, well, I want you to know that Rainer Maxwell is no good.¡± ¡°He¡¯ll ruin your reputation,¡± the other woman said with a dark look. I couldn¡¯t say anything, so I just clutched my coffee and leaned back against the kitchte counter. ¡°He¡¯s only in it for the fun of it.¡± The redhead approached me cautiously. ¡°At first, I thought an office fling would be fun, but then it was over. I mean, just like that. One and done.¡± ¡°Me too,¡± the dark-haired woman said. ¡°He never goes back for seconds. And then you start noticing the other women he¡¯s tossed aside. The women refuse to make eye contact with him. The women who go out of their way to avoid him.¡± ¡°I received a phone call, stopped in here for privacy and a coffee,¡± I exined. ¡°Good. I hope that¡¯s true,¡± the dark-haired woman said. ¡°We just wanted to warn you. You¡¯re too good for him.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t think he¡¯ll keep pursuing you after you¡¯ve given him what he wants,¡± the redhead said. ¡°Thank you. Excellent advice.¡± I stayed put after the women apologized again and left the break room. They were just trying to be nice, but they¡¯d done more than share a warning they wished they¡¯d heard. They gave me an idea. If I slept with Rainer again, maybe he would go away. I sipped at my cold coffee and wondered if I could handle it. Seducing Rainer sounded like the only way I could get rid of him for good. The thought festered with me all day until it was time to go home and get ready for my date with Seth. Luckily, I did not see Rainer as I left the office because my heart did funny flutters every time I considered my n. Coming face-to-face with him before I¡¯d thought it all the way through felt dangerous. After he chased me into the break room, I worried that he could read me better than anyone had ever managed. After showering, tugging on a little ck dress, and rushing out the door to meet Seth, Rainer was still on my mind. I told myself that had been his intent all along ¨C make me think of him until I gave in ¨C but something my co-workers said bothered me. Rainer never went back for seconds. His list of one-night stands was long and despicable, but I wasn¡¯t sure I fit on that list. Not only had we slept together and kept working side by side every day, but Rainer was determined to have more. The valet startled me out of the memory of Rainer¡¯s quick, searing kiss. I stumbled out of my car and jumped when my phone rang. It was Rainer. For one heart-stopping moment, I thought Rainer had managed to crash my date. I looked up the restaurant steps and expected to see him standing there. ¡°Tasha, over here,¡± Seth called. I couldn¡¯t believe my heart dropped when I saw Seth. He was standing by the open door with a wide smile and was getting plenty of appreciative nces from the people heading inside. In a sports coat and tight tee shirt, Seth looked good enough to eat. But he wasn¡¯t Rainer. I nced around once more and wondered if I should check my message. I forced the thought out of my head and ran up the steps to meet Seth. He pecked me on the cheek. ¡°You look wonderful. How was work?¡± I flinched away from the question. ¡°I¡¯d rather hear about all the beautiful things you did with your day,¡± I said. Seth put a light hand on the small of my back and steered me into the restaurant. I caught a few jealous nces and couldn¡¯t help but feel bad. He was the picture of the perfect date, but I had my mind on other things. ¡°Ms. Nichols? Tasha?¡± a hearty voice called me from the bar. I turned and teetered on my high heels. Mr. Reynolds, the head of Parks and Recreation, waved us over. ¡°Having a business dinner?¡± he asked with a broad smile. ¡°Mr. Reynolds, this is Seth. Seth, Mr. Reynolds,¡± I said with a dry mouth. ¡°Please, call me n. Where¡¯s Rainer?¡± n asked. Seth chuckled. ¡°That¡¯d be a little awkward. We¡¯re on a date.¡± n¡¯s smile froze. He gave me another look. ¡°Oh, sorry. I just assumed that you and Rainer, ah . . . I just figured that was the only reason a man like Rainer was digging in the dirt day after day.¡± ¡°Reasonable assumption,¡± Seth said. ¡°After all, the reason I took the volunteer gig was to get a date with Tasha.¡± I was d when the hostess approached and gestured us toward our table. ¡°Nice to see you, Mr. Reynolds.¡± When we got to our table, Seth¡¯s nces kept sliding back to the bar. ¡°I¡¯m sorry that was so awkward,¡± I said. ¡°I haven¡¯t told Mr. Reynolds about the funding getting cut. I¡¯m not sure he¡¯s ready for themunity garden to be on its own.¡± Seth seemed to ept my reasonable excuse for the tension. ¡°He knows it¡¯s going to happen sooner orter. Mr. Reynolds seems like an observant man.¡± ¡°Speaking of observant men, maybe you know what kind of flowers these are?¡± I motioned to the beautiful centerpiece at our table. It was a desperate bid to distract us, but it didn¡¯t work. Seth reached across the table, took both my hands, and then studied my face carefully. ¡°You¡¯re right, Tasha, I¡¯m observant too. Are you sure I¡¯m the one you want to be on a date with tonight?¡± I resisted the urge to yank my hands back.Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have said yes otherwise.¡± Seth smiled and squeezed my hands. Then he let them go and leaned back in his seat. ¡°Then I just have to get this out: I think Rainer is in love with you.¡± I choked on the sparkling water our waiter had just poured. The waiter panicked, but I waved him away, and he fled dly. ¡°Why would you say that?¡± I asked Seth. ¡°Come on, Tasha, everyone could see it at themunity garden. The way he looks at you. And he makes you smile,¡± Seth said. ¡°You make me smile,¡± I said. Seth looked at my straight face and shook his head with a rueful sigh. ¡°I don¡¯t mind talking gardens andndscaping. I don¡¯t even mind enjoying a delicious dinner with you. I just think we should be honest right now. This isn¡¯t a date. It can¡¯t be.¡± ¡°Why not?¡± I asked. There was a catch in my voice and I worried it had everything to do with Rainer and very little with Seth¡¯s clear-headed decision. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Tasha, I¡¯m just not willing to get in the middle of something. Even if you haven¡¯t admitted it, something is going on. That doesn¡¯t mean we can¡¯t still enjoy dinner.¡± Seth motioned for the waiter to return. It was my turn to sigh. ¡°You¡¯re right, and I can respect that. But I¡¯m paying.¡± Sethughed. ¡°Fair enough, friend.¡± Episode Seventy-Two Rainer¡¯s [POV] The yacht was lit up so brightly it looked more like a spaceship ready to bolt off into the dark sky. I understood the mystery that drove people to buy mega-yachts. Berger stood at the prow as if he¡¯d conquered the sea himself. I knew full well he had no idea how to start the yacht¡¯s powerful engine, much less move it safely from the dock. His full crew greeted me as I walked across the gangnk. The entire skyline of San Francisco glittered above the dark water of the bay, and even I had to admit it was a dramatic backdrop for a party. ¡°Just wait until we sail under the Golden Gate Bridge,¡± Berger said. He pped me hard on the back. ¡°Until then I¡¯ve got, how many? Four chefs: sushi, fusion, steakhouse, and the best dessert chef in town.¡± A fleet of servers wove through the morous crowd, but I waved away the champagne. I could already tell that I was going to need something stronger. The yacht had everyfort, it was floating luxury, but the thought of being out on the water with no way to escape was already making me twitchy. ¡°Please tell me it¡¯s only a three-hour tour,¡± I said. Bergerughed and raised his hand to p me on the back again. I dodged past a fashionable couple, knowing full well I was going to end up in the background of their endless photographs. Then the cameras turned on me. I didn¡¯t even have to turn around to know whose arm now linked mine. ¡°Hello, Ellison. Nice to see you again.¡± Ellisonughed and gave me a yful p. ¡°As if we didn¡¯t talk earlier today, darling. You¡¯re right, a yacht like this might be a great venue for your groom¡¯s dinner.¡± I pulled her out of the stream of promenading party guests and gripped the railing to stop myself from strangling her. ¡°Why do you insist on doing that?¡± ¡°Doing what, Rainer?¡± Ellison asked, her elegant head held high. ¡°Acting as if I¡¯ve already proposed to you. We are not engaged, we are not nning our wedding, and I didn¡¯t talk to you earlier about possible venues for whatever the hell a groom¡¯s dinner is!¡± Ellison aimed a serene smile up at me all during the rant. ¡°Everyone knows it¡¯s inevitable. We are such a perfect match. Honestly, Rainer, you should be happy.¡±Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. Before I could grasp her slender shoulders with both hands and shake some sense into her, a helicopter whipped across the bay and hovered about the yacht. ¡°That¡¯d be tonight¡¯s performer,¡± Berger called over the noise. ¡°No, you didn¡¯t!¡± Ellison gave my arm an excited squeeze and then forgot about me altogether. ¡°He¡¯s a darling, and I haven¡¯t seen him since Paris.¡± Ellison¡¯s darling friend turned out to be one of the biggest acts on the world scene. It was surreal seeing him step off the helicopter and join Berger¡¯s yacht party. I thought I might be going crazy. ¡°Let me introduce my fiance,¡± Ellison said, bringing the big star over to me. ¡°She¡¯s jumped the gun a bit there,¡± I said. ¡°We¡¯re not engaged yet.¡± ¡°Then I still have a chance.¡± He wrapped an arm around Ellison¡¯s waist, and half the yacht let out jealous squeals of delight. ¡°Mind if I steal her away?¡± ¡°Not at all,¡± I said. Ellison ignored mepletely and jumped right into the excitement of the party. I clung to the railing and wondered if it was toote to grab a dinghy back to shore. ¡°I know people say that money goes to your head, but you are a whole new case of crazy,¡± Berger said. He joined me at the railing, looking out over his spectacr party like a sultan. ¡°No one understands how you could turn down Ellison Ramsey.¡± ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean it¡¯s okay for her to make up our engagement. That¡¯s the crazy part,¡± I said. Berger snorted. ¡°And here¡¯s where you are wrong. Any other man, or woman for the matter, would be overjoyed that Ellison had decided on them. Do you even realize what her attention has done for your reputation?¡± I didn¡¯t want to admit that it was true. Ellison¡¯s false rumors about our impending wedding had started to change my reputation from hopeless bachelor to decent prospect. I was getting way too many interested nces from the high societydies now. As a wealthy widow in a bright red dress nced at me, I realized that I could easily burn off the changes. All it would take was one indiscretion. ¡°Seems like even your father is starting to notice,¡± Berger continued the conversation. ¡°My father can think whatever he damn well wants. As long as it annoys my brother,¡± I said. Now that I had stocked up enough money to appease Maxwell¡¯s ambition, my father had be downright friendly. Berger stood up and cleared his throat. ¡°I don¡¯t get you, Rainer. You made billions; you could have all this and more. You could marry Ellison and be at the top. What¡¯s stopping you?¡± The buzzing of a small boat was a convenient distraction. I nced down at the water and saw that it was Tasha arriving. Alone. Had something happened with her blondndscaper? The hope I felt was ridiculous, and I did the best I could to wipe it off my face before I turned back to Berger. ¡°As you said, I¡¯ve already got a lot. So, I don¡¯t see the harm in waiting for something I want,¡± I said. Ellison joined us at that moment. ¡°I bet I know what you want,¡± she said. ¡°If you¡¯ve been waiting to make a big announcement, the stage is all set.¡± I nced over to the stage and saw the world-ss performer wink at Ellison. ¡°Not my kind of music,¡± I said. An actual frown broke through Ellison¡¯s self-assured expression. She turned away and caught sight of Tasha boarding the yacht. ¡°You and your one-hit wonders,¡± Ellison said. ¡°Sure you want to tie the knot with that?¡± Berger asked. Ellison fluffed her hair and gave Tasha an evil appraisal. ¡°I¡¯m not worried.¡± I was desperate to escape, and the shore was getting farther and farther away. The next waiter who walked by was shocked when I stopped him. ¡°Is that fresh thyme on top of the stuffed mushrooms?¡± ¡°Yes, sir. The chef grows it himself.¡± The waiter nodded to a nearby man in a white coat. I moved over to his table andplimented him on the taste. The chef looked at Ellison and hesitated to talk, but I got him into a whole conversation about growing his herbs. ¡°The vors are much richer,¡± the chief said. Ellison sighed and walked away. Momentster, Berger followed her. ¡°Thanks,¡± I told the chef. ¡°You know we¡¯re on a boat, right? You can¡¯t escape,¡± the chief said. I assessed the glimmer in his eyes while his face was otherwise straight. ¡°You know, I¡¯m rich too.¡± ¡°How¡¯s that going?¡± Iughed and shook the chef¡¯s hand. ¡°I¡¯m starting to think I¡¯d trade my fortune for a practical skill. At the end of the day, you¡¯ve created things, and that has to feel good.¡± The chef graciously served two more guests and came back to join me. ¡°It does feel good. It¡¯s never toote to learn. You interested in cooking?¡± ¡°Me?¡± I asked. ¡°No. But recently I started to get into gardening.¡± The chef barely contained a snort. ¡°You know how many of my clients demand fresh herbs and vegetables but won¡¯t even think of putting a few potted nts on a windowsill? No offense, but sometimes I wonder what you people do all day.¡± ¡°None was taken,¡± I said. It was an honest opinion, and as I looked around the yacht, I started to agree with the chef. Everyone was dressed in designer clothes with jewelry made to impress. Instead of noticing the delicious food, hand-crafted right in front of them, or the beautiful scenery of the San Francisco Bay, the ultra-rich were standing around only noticing those who noticed them. Across the deck, Ellison gave me ae-hither nce. I held up another stuffed mushroom, and her perfect lips pursed tight. She turned back to a small knot of fawning admirers and ignored me. ¡°Well, I might be the only one, but I¡¯m enjoying your efforts. Thank you,¡± I told the chef. I scanned the room again and felt my heart sink. I was stuck on a yacht in a sea of my peers and couldn¡¯t see a single person I wanted to talk to. Except for Tasha. She was encouraging the first mate to tell her more about the unique features of Alcatraz Ind. He was more than happy to oblige and leaned close as he pointed outndmarks. I handed my small te to a passing waiter and set out across the crowded room. ¡°Hello, Rainer.¡± The woman¡¯s voice was cool. ¡°Patricia, how are you?¡± I swallowed my irritation and focused on the redheaded woman. We¡¯d had a passionate night after a productunch party, and I could tell she was surprised I knew her name. ¡°How¡¯s your sick dog? Thest time we were, ah, together, you had to rush home to give it antibiotics, right?¡± Patricia blinked a few times. ¡°That¡¯s right. Bingo¡¯s fine, thanks for asking.¡± I stood looking down at her as she hadn¡¯t moved, but she had nothing else to say. ¡°I hope you enjoy the party,¡± I said, stepping around her. ¡°It¡¯s not going to work, you know,¡± Patricia said over her shoulder. She turned and nodded toward Tasha. ¡°She¡¯s too good for you. Besides, she¡¯s been warned what you¡¯re really like.¡± ¡°We had one night together. You don¡¯t know me,¡± I said. I stalked away from her, my fingers curling into fists. So, more people than I thought had noticed my interest in Tasha. No wonder I could feel eyes on me as I slowly wove my way through the party toward her. It took a lot of maneuvering, but I finally cornered Tasha near the small bar at the back. Tasha eyed the narrow hallway next to her but decided to stand her ground. ¡°I¡¯m hearing rumors you might have a special announcement tonight,¡± she said. ¡°What the hell,¡± I muttered, missing at first the teasing light in Tasha¡¯s eyes. ¡°Oh, right. Make fun of me. Like you won¡¯t have hundreds of men lining up to propose to you now that you¡¯ve made billions.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve had three proposals so far tonight,¡± Tasha said. ¡°Let me guess, the first mate? Watch out; you know the captain can marry people,¡± I said. ¡°Oh, so is that what you have nned for Ellison?¡± Tasha asked. I grabbed her arm and pulled her down the narrow hallway. She darted inside the first open door, hoping to dodge around me, but I blocked her way and shut the door behind us. ¡°I am not marrying Ellison Ramsey tonight, and I do not ever intend to marry her.¡± Tasha¡¯s irritated expression softened. ¡°Okay. I was just teasing you, Rainer.¡± ¡°Not a lot of people do that,¡± I said. She inched closer. ¡°Why am I so different?¡± I ran a hand through my hair. ¡°If I could answer that I might feel sane again.¡± ¡°You need your space,¡± Tasha said, reaching around me for the door handle. ¡°I need you,¡± I said. The scent of her hair knocked me back against the cabin door. Tasha was only inches away, and she didn¡¯t pull back or roll her eyes. Instead, she studied my face, staring deep into my eyes before her gaze dropped to my lips. ¡°All I know is you¡¯re different, Tasha. And that doesn¡¯t have to mean anything. I just. . . I just like being near you.¡± I held my breath and wished I hadn¡¯t said any of that. Then she kissed me. My breath never came back, and, for a moment, I thought maybe I¡¯d passed out and it was all just a crazy dream. Then Tasha¡¯s sweet lips parted and the kiss deepened. I swung her around and pressed her against the cabin door, pouring more gasoline on our already zing desire. I pulled back. ¡°Are you teasing me?¡± I croaked. Tasha giggled and then pushed against the door, pressing every inch of her body against mine. ¡°Maybe a little.¡± I brought one shaky hand up to her cheek and held our gaze until her teasing smile faded away. The heat was still there in her eyes, so I kissed her again. Episode Seventy-Three Rainer¡¯s [POV] I wasn¡¯t surprised when Tasha pushed against my chest and slipped away from the door. Then she went to the cabin¡¯s queen-sized bed and looked back at me. I couldn¡¯t move, maybe I was drowning. Every reasonable voice in my head was screaming to take it slow. Tasha was different, and I couldn¡¯t just go through my regr motions. There was more between us than I had ever felt before, and it was starting to feel like a powder keg in my chest. ¡°I¡¯m not teasing anymore,¡± Tasha said. I was across the room in two long strides, and I caught her waist tight in my arms. ¡°No. I¡¯m not going to screw this up. And I¡¯m not going to let you do this,¡± I said, letting go. ¡°Do what?¡± Tasha asked. ¡°Trick me into acting like any other yboy on a yacht. I want to take things slow,¡± I said. Tasha scowled. ¡°First off, you keep telling me that I¡¯m different, but you still assume that I have the same opinion of you as everyone else.¡± ¡°Because you keep reminding me!¡± I couldn¡¯t keep my voice down, then cringed. ¡°I¡¯m sick of my reputation. I¡¯m trying to change; it¡¯s time for me to change, grow up, whatever you want to call it.¡± ¡°So, you¡¯ve got a lot to prove,¡± Tasha said. ¡°I know what that¡¯s like.¡± ¡°Then how do you do it?¡± I paced around the spacious cabin and passed the glowing lights of the Bay Bridge outside the windows. ¡°I figure out what I want, and then I go after it,¡± Tasha said. I turned just as she wrapped both arms around my neck. Her kiss wobbled my knees and I gasped for breath between her lips. ¡°And what do you want?¡± I asked. ¡°You.¡± I shook my head though my hands wouldn¡¯t let go of Tasha. ¡°No. No way. Someone will hear. We¡¯re on a yacht full of people just dying to find a scandal to talk about.¡± The chandelier above us rattled. A searing note reached us even in the private cabin and I wanted to shake a fist at my luck. Up on the main deck, the A-list performer grabbed the mic and shouted out a long list ofpliments to his generous hosts. Then the drummer kicked off a heavy rhythm and the bass yer was close behind. The door jam pulsed with the music, and I could barely hear myself think. Tashaughed. ¡°What was that you were saying about someone hearing us?¡± I struggled to take e a deep breath as she walked over to the cabin door and casually locked it. Tasha was right. There was no way anyone would hear us over the lively performance. ¡°Someone¡¯s going to notice we¡¯re gone,¡± I said. ¡°All eyes are on stage. Guaranteed. That¡¯s what Berger paid for,¡± Tasha pointed out. I held up both hands as she approached me again. ¡°Why? Why do you want me?¡± Tasha¡¯s eyes narrowed and her head tipped as she assessed our conversation like a business negotiation. With a slight nod, she decided it was best to tell me her reasons because she believed they might bemon ground. A good starting ce: ¡°I want to have sex with you again because I think it¡¯ll help us both get this out of our systems.¡± I wanted to bash my head against the porthole window. She had voiced the very same argument I had used to justify sleeping with her in the first ce. ¡°Tasha, you can¡¯t be serious,¡± I said. Her chin tipped up. ¡°Why not? Men get to have sex like that all the time.¡± I held up my hands again. ¡°I¡¯m not being sexist. I just want you to think about it.¡± Tasha shook her head. ¡°I don¡¯t want to think. That¡¯s the whole point. If I just let myself feel this, then maybe it will subside.¡± My head spun over the fact that she was feeling something between us too. ¡°It won¡¯t work,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve already tried it.¡± That stopped her. ¡°You slept with me to get me out of your system?¡± she asked. I nodded. ¡°It made things worse. It made me want you even more.¡± A darker shade of expression veiled Tasha¡¯s eyes. She was worried, but her body seemed to be reacting on its own. She took a step forward, hesitated, and then flew back into my arms. Her kiss burned away any resistance that either of us felt. I tried to hold on, reminding myself where we were and what the crowd was like just down the hall. But, it didn¡¯t matter. The band raced into another pulsing song, and I lost control. Tasha and I fell together onto the queen-sized bed. Her dress slipped off to reveal a sheer slip that ignited my blood. As her hands peeled off my suit coat and plucked lose my shirt, I tossed her dress over the back of a chair and let my lips skim the silk of her slip, and then her skin. ¡°This is what you want?¡± I asked. Tasha nodded, tugging me up to kiss her again. I told myself to be careful of her hair, to be gentle, but her hips rose to meet me and all thought was erased. Fireworks exploded from the back deck of the yacht and glittered down past our window. The only reason I knew years hadn¡¯t passed since I raised my head was the fact that the band was still thumping away up on the main deck. Iy on my back staring at the long stretch of Golden Gate Bridge drifting past the porthole window. Tasha sat up and reached for her dress. ¡°Did it work?¡± I asked.Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°Funny,¡± she said, ¡°I never took you for insecure.¡± I sat up. ¡°I meant did you get me out of your system?¡± She nced over her shoulder and then tugged her dress back into ce. ¡°I better get back to the party.¡± I raced to get dressed before she got to the cabin door. ¡°What¡¯s the n? Want me to go first and then text you the ¡®all clear?''¡± Tasha straightened her shoulders and looked me dead in the eye. ¡°I¡¯m not going to skulk out of here like I did something wrong. Women are just as capable of having flings as men.¡± I pressed a hand to the door. ¡°So, I¡¯m a fling now?¡± ¡°You¡¯re in my way, that¡¯s what you are right now.¡± She tugged open the cabin door but took a second to peek into the hallway before she left. I could have stayed in the cabin all night trying to sort out what had just happened, but I was worried about Tasha. Was she upset? Had her little experiment worked and she waspletely over me? I counted to sixty at a furious pace and then slipped out the cabin door and back down the narrow hallway. Tasha turned away from the bar, where she had wisely stopped to make it look like she¡¯d been there all along, and then she plunged into the crowd. Most people were aimed at the main deck where the music was still sting. I grabbed a drink and followed the flow. Tasha¡¯s head bobbed across the room from me and I did my best to look casual while I tracked her. I had to change course when Patricia caught my eye. She frowned at me, and it took all my restraint to smile back at her. Sure, my reputation was my fault, but the bitterness I felt from her wasn¡¯t helping. I hadn¡¯t made her do anything she didn¡¯t want to do. And it wasn¡¯t like she¡¯d ever called me again. I wondered if Tasha was going to be the same. I made my way out onto the deck where I could still see Tasha through the windows. It was quieter on the back deck, and I could hear normal, non-scandalous conversations going on all around me. I took a deep breath and realized I felt great. Underneath all theplications, I was happy, and I hoped that Tasha felt it too. Stan caught me as I released a satisfied sigh. ¡°You seem rxed. d the GroGreen project is finally done?¡± Stan asked. ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°It was nice feeling like I was contributing. You know, instead of just being this yboy cartoon Hyperion trots out to appease the media.¡± ¡°Oh, so it¡¯s all an act now, is it?¡± Stan asked. He nted his feet on the deck and looked me square in the eye. ¡°You honestly think anyone is going to believe you¡¯ve changed?¡± I ground my teeth. Stan had a soft spot for Tasha. Beyond the rumors of a May-December romance, everyone at the office knew that Stan was grooming Tasha as his protege. Still, the way he looked at me made me think he knew more about Tasha¡¯s life than what happened in the office. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s people¡¯s perception of me that¡¯s changing,¡± I said. Stan chuckled, but there was no smile in his stern expression. ¡°Well, either way, the GroGreen project is finished, and Tasha is moving on. Time for you to attach yourself to someone else.¡± ¡°The media campaign might be over, but the application is still out there. Themunity garden idea is still out there, and I hear it¡¯s expanding,¡± I said. ¡°Yes. I heard a private investor created a fund to help maintainmunity gardens all across the East Bay.¡± Stan looked at me hard and then softened slightly. ¡°I know Tasha would never be so frivolous, but she¡¯ll be happy to know someone did it.¡± I nced out across the bay, irritated that Stan had seen through me so easily. ¡°Someone who wants to remain anonymous.¡± ¡°Good,¡± Stan said. ¡°Anonymous doesn¡¯t get in the way. Anonymous leaves Tasha alone because she deserves a chance to pursue her career without uselessplications.¡± He gged down a waiter, ordered two strong whiskeys, and then left me to wait at the railing until the yacht headed back to shore. Episode Seventy-Four Tasha¡¯s [POV] I congratted myself on getting to my office without breaking into a cold sweat. I expected to see Rainer around every corner, and, no matter what I told myself, I wasn¡¯t ready to face him. The rest of the weekend I had assured myself that I¡¯d done the right thing. Now, maybe Rainer had gotten an idea of how his one-night stands felt, and I had gotten him out of my system. I made it to my temporary assistant¡¯s desk before my stomach dropped to the floor. On herputer was an entire photograph album from Berger¡¯s yacht party and Rainer was featured in many of the morous shots. ¡°Isn¡¯t he dreamy,¡± Amy said? She noted that I was rooted to the floor next to her desk and jumped at the chance to give me her full opinion. ¡°Ellison Ramsey has to be the most elegant woman I¡¯ve ever seen. And she¡¯s going to marry Mr. Maxwell ¨C that practically makes us family!¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure you should believe all the rumors,¡± I said. Amy shook her head. ¡°No. They are a power couple. Check this picture out.¡± I took a deep breath and held it before I faced my assistant¡¯sputer screen. Ellison did look morous, her perfect smile and stunning jewelry out-sparkling the San Francisco skyline behind her. Rainer was next to her, and I forced myself to look at his face. His public rtions smile was set in ce, but his gaze was far off-camera. Was he searching the crowd for me? My stomach did a funny little hop, and I bolted into my office. ¡°Busy day for me,¡± I told my assistant. ¡°No calls this morning.¡± I dropped into my desk chair and stared at my nkputer screen. I only turned it on so I wouldn¡¯t see my own sullen face anymore. How was I supposed to convince Rainer that was fine when I couldn¡¯t even smile? I distracted myself by meticulouslybing through my emails. It was cathartic to start at the bottom and delete all the old business that was already tied up. Then I got to the top of my inbox and saw the email from Stan about themunity garden funding. Someone had donated enough money to spread the campaign through the entire East Bay. I snatched up my desk phone and dialed Ivy¡¯s number. ¡°Are you the anonymous donor?¡± I asked as soon as my friend picked up. ¡°No, but it sounds intriguing. Tell me more,¡± Ivy said. My mind veered away from the obvious suspect, but I just had to ask, ¡°Have you ever had sex with someone to get them out of your system? And did it work?¡± ¡°Oh, Tasha!¡± Ivy burst intoughter and gave herself a moment to calm down. Then she gave a rueful sigh and said, ¡°Do you want my honest answer?¡± ¡°Yes, of course,¡± I said. ¡°Fine. Then you¡¯re going to have to tell me who and what this is all about.¡± Ivy¡¯sugh bubbled through again. ¡°Thest time we talked you were going on a date with that hunkyndscaper.¡± I groaned and leaned as far back as my creaky office chair would allow. ¡°Yeah, that didn¡¯t really work out so well. He told me he didn¡¯t think I was over Rainer, and we left as friends.¡± ¡°Yikes,¡± Ivy said. ¡°So, let me guess: this is about your dashing co-worker?¡± ¡°We¡¯re not even on the same project anymore. I mean, maybe we are now that someone fundedmunity gardens for the entire East Bay,¡± I said. ¡°So, you thought you¡¯d sleep with him and that would be the end of it?¡± Ivy asked. ¡°Maybe it just hasn¡¯t set in yet.¡± I tried to be hopeful. ¡°You never did anything like that to get someone out of your system?¡± Ivy smothered anotherugh. ¡°I tried, but it didn¡¯t work.¡± ¡°Really, who?¡± I asked. ¡°My husband,¡± Ivy said. I sat up and then dropped my forehead to my desk. ¡°Great. And now I might end up working with Rainer again. Are you sure you didn¡¯t fund the gardens just to y cupid?¡± ¡°Oh, wait. What if Rainer funded the campaign to keep working with you?!¡± ¡°Ivy, you¡¯re not helping,¡± I said. ¡°Well, track the money and get back to me. Good luck,dy!¡± Ivy hung up the phone and left me speechless. I went to work right away, trying to uncover who the anonymous donor could have been. My contacts in every Hyperion office tried to help out, but there was no tracing the source. Most people never imagined not-knowing would be a problem. They kept highlighting how great it was that my work with Rainer could continue. I gave up after an hour and let my forehead sink back down to the cold surface of my desk. ¡°Oh, sorry, I didn¡¯t mean to interrupt your, ah, nap?¡± Amy bounced from one foot to the other in the doorway. ¡°It¡¯s just that I read the email about the big donation and I wanted to see if we should celebrate.¡± ¡°Thanks, but not now,¡± I told my assistant. She raised an imaginary ss anyway. ¡°Well, here¡¯s to a great start. First the East Bay and then the whole world!¡± I didn¡¯t want to admit it but my hapless, temporary assistant had given me a great idea. Amy swooped back out the doorway with a dramatic bow and went back to her inte surfing and gossiping. I sat up and poised my fingers above my keyboard. I needed to pitch a new idea to Stan by the end of the day, and I¡¯d been up all night trying to think of something I wanted to do that had the same positive impact as the GroGreen application ended up having. Exactly what would I need to stretch the funding and expand ourmunity gardens idea into a national campaign? Brainstorming, problem-solving, and filling in the details gave me a few blissful hours of productive work. It felt like a tonic. When I was busy at work, my disastrous personal life could not intrude. Yes, I thought of Rainer every minute or so because he had been so integral to the original campaign, but I was able to stay focused on the work side of it through sheer will. Once I had a working proposal, a list of critical questions, and detailed action steps, I sat back and let my mind drift for one moment. To the exact moment that Rainer lost control. We were at the foot of the queen-sized bed in the private cabin of Berger¡¯s luxury yacht, but it felt like a tsunami had hit me head-on. Rainer¡¯s ragged moan had reverberated through my body as well fell together onto the silken bedspread. It was so vivid in my memory that, for a moment, I didn¡¯t understand how my pregnant sister could be standing in the doorway. I blinked hard and came back to reality in my office. ¡°Daydreaming?¡± Barbie backed out and checked my name on the door. ¡°No. I have the right office, but what have you done with my sister?¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s what everyone who isn¡¯t fine says.¡± ¡°How are you?¡± I asked Barbie. She waddled over to one of the chairs that faced my desk and sank down. ¡°Fine,¡± she said, slightly out of breath. I jumped up. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Barbie. I can¡¯t believe you came all this way. And our office building must feel like one giant obstacle course. How are you doing, really?¡± My sister pped my hand away. ¡°The baby¡¯s fine; I¡¯m fine. Just ufortable.¡± I moved the other chair and then lifted her feet onto it. ¡°I don¡¯t think you should be here. Big building, long elevator rides, all the crowds and the work and the stress. Are you sure you aren¡¯t overwhelmed?¡± Barbie red up at me. ¡°Yes, yes, you work in a big, busy, impressive office building. I¡¯m just somon that I can¡¯t even navigate the elevators.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant,¡± I told my sister. ¡°You know I¡¯m impressed with you, but the rest of this? Who cares? I just came to get the scoop on Seth,¡± Barbie said. I groaned and retreated back around my desk to slump into my chair. ¡°You could have just called.¡± ¡°We both know you would have hung up on me,¡± Barbie said. She gave me her best impish smile. ¡°Now, give me all the juicy details.¡± I had never been so d to see James Berger burst through my office door. ¡°Oh, Berger. This is my sister, Barbie.¡± Berger¡¯s eyes grew big. ¡°Sister? You have a sister?¡± Then he spotted Barbie¡¯s round stomach. ¡°And you¡¯re going to be an aunt? Whoa, have you let HR know you might need time off?¡± Barbie snorted. ¡°It¡¯s not like she¡¯s going to push this thing out and need recovery time.¡± ¡°True, true.¡± Berger strode over and gave my sister his most gracious handshake. ¡°You know, I didn¡¯t think the whole ¡®glowing¡¯ thing was real, but you look wonderful.¡± His gold Rolex shed as he gentlyid my sister¡¯s hand back down. Barbie looked at me and rolled her eyes. ¡°So, these are the kind of big shots you¡¯re up against?¡± Berger adjusted his suit coat with a not-so-modest shrug. ¡°I am one of the top junior executives.¡± Barbieughed. ¡°And my sister is going to be your boss someday soon. Now, if you¡¯ll excuse us, we have family business to discuss.¡± Berger could not believe he was being dismissed.N?velDrama.Org: owner of this content. He opened his mouth but realized the reason he¡¯d stopped in, most likely to brag about his yacht party, wouldn¡¯t hold up against Barbie¡¯s edict. He slunk out the door, and Barbie rolled her eyes. ¡°You know, he makes your annual sry in two months,¡± I told my sister. She yawned and scratched her extended stomach. ¡°Impressive. Do you know what¡¯s better? Your darling brother-inw is mastering the art of thesagna so we won¡¯t starve through the sleepless newborn phase.¡± Iughed. ¡°Now, that is impressive.¡± It was impossible not to feel a twist of jealousy when I looked at my older sister. She was so at ease, despite how far along she was, and so content with her life. Nothing could shake her belief that she had the best life could offer: afortable home, a loving partner, and an expanding family. I had to admit that I was jealous. Where I was always looking for the next thing, Barbie was simply enjoying where she was. ¡°Do you think I¡¯ll ever be as content as you?¡± I asked my sister. Barbie patted her baby bump. ¡°Not if you keep blowing off dates. Now, are you going to tell me what happened or not?¡± I stood up. ¡°You know, I¡¯m actually really busy. I have to make a big pitch to Stan today.¡± Barbie heaved herself out of the chair. ¡°All right, I get it. You¡¯ll tell me over dinner this week. Remember,sagna.¡± I walked her out of my office and to the elevator. While we waited, my big sister was nice enough to talk about innocuous things like what was blooming in her garden, but it all just made me think of Rainer anyway. As the elevator doors slid open, I felt my equilibrium spin. Rainer stepped out and held the doors open for my sister. ¡°Beautiful as always, Ms. Barbie,¡± he said. My sister patted his cheek. ¡°Handsome and charming. No wonder I keep seeing your picture everywhere.¡± Barbie was about to wave goodbye to me, but I panicked and jumped onto the elevator with her. Rainer raised an eyebrow but the doors closed. We rode down two floors alone before my sister cleared her throat. ¡°I¡¯m going to guess that he was part of the reason your date with Seth fizzled,¡± Barbie said. ¡°Lasagna. Can¡¯t wait,¡± I said. Barbieughed and hugged me as the elevator opened on the lobby floor. ¡°Love you, Tasha,¡± she said. Episode Seventy-Five Tasha¡¯s [POV] I waved goodbye as she headed across the lobby and then pressed the top floor button. I paced the small square of the elevator and tried toe up with a n. Then I stopped. I was being ridiculous. I was going to have to face Rainer sooner rather thanter. So, I punched the button for our floor and tried not to panic.Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. When the doors slid open to reveal a knot of junior executives, my throat closed up in a panic. I nodded to them and stepped out of the elevator. ¡°Hey, let me know what you¡¯re working on,¡± one said. ¡°I¡¯m avable if you need any help.¡± His buddies shoved him onto the elevator, telling him he waszy and needed to find his own sessful project. I smiled back at them as I set off down the hall. Luckily, none of them noticed I was heading toward Rainer¡¯s office instead of my own. ¡°Tasha, there you are,¡± Stan said. He blocked my way to Rainer¡¯s side of the floor and steered me back toward the elevators. ¡°We¡¯ve got a meeting. Let¡¯s go to my office, shall we?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be right there. I just need to, ah, grab my things,¡± I said. I saw Rainer stepping out of his office and felt like I needed to face him now or never. ¡°Go ahead without me.¡± ¡°No, thanks.¡± Stan pulled me into the executive elevator that only opened on our floor and the penthouse. ¡°Did I ever tell you about the time I got stuck in an elevator? I was on the way to meet my wife, my first wife, and I got stuck for five hours. By the time I got out, she¡¯d met someone in the lobby, get a better offer, and had gone off to dinner. That dinner turned into a new career for her and a nasty divorce for me.¡± ¡°And you didn¡¯t just press the ¡®stop¡¯ button?¡± I asked. Stan chuckled. ¡°In hindsight, it was lucky that the elevator got stuck. I wasn¡¯t strong enough to do it myself. Sometimes we know when a rtionship just isn¡¯t right, but we don¡¯t have the fortitude to walk away.¡± I crossed my arms. ¡°Is this work advice?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s just call it good advice,¡± Stan said. The elevator doors slid open and the elegance of the executive floor struck me as it always did. The walls were a dark marble with copper seams. Wooden pirs stood sentinel at the corners. My heels sunk into the plush Berber carpet as I followed Stan to his office. He pushed open the double doors and stepped into the sun-filled room. I paused while Stan rounded his desk and sat down. It was a bad habit, one my mentor encouraged, but every time I stepped into his office, I thought about what it would be like when it was mine. More chairs around the square coffee table for longer meetings. Arger table, maybe even round, to rece Stan¡¯s ss conference table. Brighter curtains, light touches of color, and a trio of artwork. My mind spun out as I realized I could finally afford real, collectible art. ¡°Before you pick out throw pillows, there¡¯s something I have to tell you.¡± Stan rocked back and forth in his leather desk chair. ¡°The way you said that makes me think I want to be standing for this news,¡± I said. Stan nodded. ¡°You¡¯ve never struck me as a fainter, so here goes: we¡¯re selling Hyperion.¡± Instead of swaying against the impact of that overwhelming news, I broke into a furious pace. I rounded the ss conference table and nced at Stan. He watched me approach, hands steepled but reclining at ease in his leather chair. ¡°The entirepany?¡± I asked. ¡°Sold,¡± Stan said. ¡°No merger? No rebranding? Just sold?¡± I took anotherp around the conference table, but the nervous energy was overtaking me. ¡°Now settle down, Tasha. I changed my mind; you need to sit down,¡± Stan said. He sat up and waved me into one of the chairs that faced his desk. ¡°This isn¡¯t necessarily bad news.¡± A bubble ofughter slipped past my shock. ¡°Not bad news? How is watching thispany get dismantled not bad news?¡± I asked. Stan sighed. ¡°Most people would think about the money we¡¯ll make from the deal. All shareholders are going to get a nice dividend.¡± I scowled at my boss and mentor. ¡°Most people don¡¯t love their jobs.¡± ¡°No, Tasha. You¡¯re wrong. You don¡¯t love this job; you love working.¡± Stan leaned forward. ¡°And I know for a fact you will not be out of work. Unless you want to take some time. Might be nice to be at home and enjoy your new niece or nephew when they arrive.¡± I gripped the armrest of my chair and let that foreign idea sweep over me. My condo was in desperate need of a deep cleaning and reorganizing. It could be a chance to dump everything and start fresh. I couldpletely redo thendscaping and maybe even try my hand at a container herb garden. And, Stan was right, I could be more helpful to my sister and her new baby. It all sounded so domestic and peaceful. I shook my head. ¡°I love working.¡± Stan leaned back in his leather chair andughed. ¡°I could have put money down that you would answer that way. That¡¯s why I told my new business partners that I wanted a ce for you in the new venture. Lucky for both of us, your reputation precedes you, and they are very excited to discuss the possibilities.¡± I held up both hands. ¡°Who are they? What new venture? And what possibilities?¡± Stan stood up. ¡°I¡¯m talking about a new integratedmunications business where you can shape your own position. Pick your title, name your sry, and get to work.¡± I stood up and skirted around my chair to hang on to the back as I faced Stan. ¡°Integratedmunications?¡± ¡°I know, I know, you¡¯ll want to see all the details and crunch all the numbers.¡± He tossed a heavy packet onto my chair. ¡°I¡¯m only slightly insulted that you don¡¯t trust me.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not that.¡± I felt the tension release my shoulders. ¡°I do trust you. This is just a lot to take in. I came in here with a great idea for themunity gardens, and now this.¡± Stan frowned. ¡°You¡¯re still on the GroGreen campaign? Tasha, that was just public rtions, and now it¡¯s over. The application is selling well, and we are on to bigger and better things.¡± I let go of the chair and put my hands on my hips. ¡°Why are you so adamant that I leave the GroGreen project behind? Normally, we review projects for months. Is there something else you want to say?¡± ¡°I just want you to stay focused on what¡¯s best for your career,¡± Stan said. ¡°And what if I¡¯ve decided I liked the hands-on,munity outreach aspects of the campaign? What if the new position I want is on the front lines?¡± I asked. Stan sat back down in his chair and gave me a stern look. ¡°Then I would have to point out how those positions need to deal with social media and public rtions much more than your current job. You¡¯d have to get used to the spotlight, cultivate it, seek it out.¡± I sat down before Stan could see me cringing. ¡°Seek it out?¡± ¡°There¡¯s no product, no sale if there isn¡¯t buzz. And, yes, marketing and advertising take care of a lot. But, with bigpanies like Hyperion, we need to create an image. Our executives are the face of thepany to investors and media alike nowadays. Though, if you like the hands-on stuff, you won¡¯t mind hosting the charity events instead of just sending them money.¡± Stan drummed his fingers on his desk while he watched me take that all in. ¡°Isn¡¯t that why we hire people like Rainer Maxwell?¡± I asked. Stan smacked his hands down on the desk. ¡°Exactly. But he won¡¯t be around to take the heat of the spotlight for you anymore. You¡¯ll have to do it yourself.¡± I mumbled. ¡°Not exactly my strength.¡± ¡°I would have thought this would be a relief for you, Tasha. Why stress about that when you can create a management position for yourself? y to your strengths and create your own position.¡± ¡°You sold thepany. What¡¯s going to happen to everyone else? All the other junior executives? My teams?¡± I raised a shaky hand to my forehead. ¡°All my team members are going to be out of jobs?¡± Stan came around and leaned against his desk in front of me. ¡°You can bring your entire team with you. There¡¯s still time to hash out all those details. And don¡¯t you think you¡¯ve made the other junior executives enough of a nest egg that they can try to fly the nest on their own?¡± ¡°What if I wanted some of them toe with us?¡± I asked. Stan crossed his arms over his chest. ¡°Some of one in particr?¡± I met his re. ¡°You said yourself that Rainer has a talent for dealing with the spotlight.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t need him, Tasha.¡± ¡°He¡¯s amazing on the front lines, cultivating the spotlight, all those things you said. Why wouldn¡¯t you want him to join your new venture?¡± I asked. Stan threw his arms up in the air and stomped back around his desk. He scratched his stubbled chin and red down at me. ¡°You know this isn¡¯t a productive conversation. Where has your focus gone?¡± I stood up. ¡°Focus? You¡¯re the one that knocked me sideways with this news.¡± ¡°And your first concern was Rainer,¡± Stan muttered. I popped my mouth shut and sat down. Stan was my mentor because not only did he have the near-legendary business acumen, but he could read people. Normally, it was a skill that cleared away all the obstacles and made for easy negotiations. Now, it just felt as if he could see through me, things that I didn¡¯t even want to admit to myself. ¡°How can you not realize that Rainer Maxwell will be fine? He¡¯ll always be fine. His family is obsessed with money and legacy, so while they push him, they won¡¯t let him fail. Besides, he has the crown jewel of society just waiting to marry him. He¡¯ll be a made man then and can do whatever he wants in any corner of the world.¡± Stan sat down across from me. ¡°I pay attention to the gossip, and Ellison Ramsey will give him everything he and his family has always wanted.¡± The news of thepany sale started to set in. That was the only reason my hands wouldn¡¯t stop trembling and my chest hurt. My vision blurred and I told myself I just needed a minute to grasp the career change ahead of me. I was fine. Stan had already offered me a new job league better than being a junior executive. I had no reason to be upset. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t we celebrate with a drink?¡± I asked. Stan flinched at the wobbly tone of my voice and jumped up. He poured us two short whiskeys and handed me one. ¡°Now, is there something you want to tell me?¡± he asked? ¡°I want more vacation time?¡± ¡°Tasha, you don¡¯t have to pretend with me. What kind of mentor would forget to help his protege deal with the other aspects of life? There¡¯s more going on here than business.¡± His phone buzzed, and I took the opportunity to retreat to the corner window. Stan was right. There was more going on than business, but it was all tangled up together in my head. The fact that Hyperion had been sold meant that I would not see many of my colleagues except in social settings. That meant I would always see Rainer with Ellison. I would never get to argue over the best dim sum with him orugh over ourpetitors¡¯ unfortunate spelling mistakes. The only moments I would have with Rainer now would be with his lovely fiancee on his arm, and that thought hurt. ¡°Tasha, I¡¯m sorry, I have to take this,¡± Stan said. ¡°Just remember, it¡¯s all for the best.¡± I knocked back the rest of my drink and wondered why the best felt like the absolute worst. Episode Seventy-Six Rainer¡¯s [POV] Tasha¡¯s eyes met mine down the office hallway, and I felt a jolt through my entire body. She looked as if she had something to say, something that couldn¡¯t wait, something that might touch on theva flow I felt when her eyes were on me. Then Stan bustled her off to the executive elevator and my stomach dropped to the floor. What if our yacht liaison had been found out? It wasn¡¯t much a stretch to think someone at Berger¡¯s party had found the entertainment boring and the gossip much more interesting. We could have been spotted heading down that narrow hallway. Or maybe the bartenders had heard us over the thumping of the music. Stan had frowned in my direction, and I felt sure he was advising Tasha against me. Probably good advice, but it put me on edge. There was already so much between us that caused problems: her career focus, myck of proper ambition, myst-minute attachment to her billion-dor project, not to mention our passionate run-ins or my intruding ex-girlfriend. Thest thing I needed was our boss and mentor telling Tasha exactly why she should stay far, far away from me. I was so busy searching for counter-arguments that it took a moment to see the steady stream of junior executives heading for the elevator. By the time I unstuck myself from the doorway of my office, the elevator doors had shut. Seemed like everyone was heading upstairs to the executive floor. I turned to the stairwell and took the steps two at a time. It still didn¡¯t burn off my agitation. What was Tasha talking to Stan about? Would she listen if he told her to leave me behind and never think of me again? On the penthouse floor, I found the rest of the junior executives skulking around the conference room across from Stan¡¯s office. ¡°There you are, d you could join the party,¡± one of the junior executives said. Berger pped me on the shoulder. ¡°Hopefully, he¡¯s more fun than he was on the yacht. Man, you were so serious. And here we all thought you had so much to celebrate.¡± I clenched my jaw and hoped he didn¡¯t bring up Ellison. No matter how much I protested, people still wanted to believe that we were going to get married. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s a side effect of working with Tasha too long. He¡¯s been iced!¡± Bergerughed at his own joke, and the rest of the junior executives joined him. ¡°You boys just hanging out in here to gossip or what?¡± I asked. A few men shook their heads, but Berger answered for them. ¡°There are rumors of rumors floating around, and we¡¯re waiting to find out what¡¯s real and what¡¯s not.¡± ¡°What kind of rumors?¡± My neck felt stiff and my shoulders rock hard. ¡°Some kind of merger or deal that has to do with the wholepany,¡± Berger said. My shoulders loosened one notch. It wasn¡¯t about Tasha and I. ¡°There are always rumors like that. Comes with the territory when you work for a sessfulpany,¡± I said. ¡°But, when yourpany just made billions of dors, the rumors start getting real. I mean, I can count on both hands the number ofpanies just dying to buy us or be part of our branding,¡± Berger said. I stared at Stan¡¯s office door and hoped that was what he was discussing with Tasha. As I wished I could bore through the thick double doors, a wave of beeps and chimes swept through the conference room. An official message was received by every employee notifying us that Hyperion had been sold to a major local conglomerate. As I read between the lines, I got the ufortable feeling that I knew who headed up the sale: Ellison¡¯s father. The new owner was not named, but there were too many hints to ignore. A burst of chatter erupted in the conference room, and I was d for the din to drown out my suspicions. It let me feel a wild sense of freedom. Hyperion was sold, most employees would be let go, and I was done. I had made my billions, thanks to Tasha, and now I could be free. My family couldn¡¯t argue that I¡¯d quit and my fat bank ount meant that I didn¡¯t have to y theirpetitive games anymore. I¡¯d won, and the game was over. There was anger, worry, and celebrations going on all around me, so I squeezed out of the conference room and ran right into Otto. The head of security stationed himself a subtle distance from Stan¡¯s office but was obviously there to check the long line of employees who would have questions. ¡°Looking at a busy day, huh?¡± I asked Otto. He smiled and hooked his thumbs in his utility belt. ¡°Maybe I¡¯m just waiting to see our girl.¡± I felt a twist in my chest. ¡°Wannay some bets on what they¡¯re talking about?¡± I asked. Otto chuckled. ¡°Son, I can tell when someone is trying to get gossip out of me.¡± I held up my hands. ¡°Not me. I¡¯m just saying that I bet you one hundred bucks the big boss has a new venture and he is trying to convince his protege to go along. It just makes sense.¡± Otto studied me for a moment. ¡°You¡¯re right; it does make sense. But what about you? Not going to be seeing much of Ms. Nichols anymore.¡± I nodded. ¡°You¡¯ll miss her too.¡± ¡°So, you¡¯re okay with walking away from all of this? And her?¡± Otto asked. ¡°As if I have a say in any of it. All I know is I can¡¯tin. I made my money, and now I have the perfect excuse to run off and enjoy it,¡± I said. Otto shook his head. ¡°You¡¯re not going far. You¡¯re waiting here to see where she¡¯s going.¡± ¡°No,¡± I said, more to convince myself. ¡°I¡¯m happy for her if it¡¯s what she wants.¡± ¡°The minute a man thinks he knows what a woman wants, he¡¯s in trouble,¡± Otto said. Voices raised to shouting in the conference room and Otto excused himself to check it out. Berger slipped by him and came over to whack me on the back again. ¡°Couldn¡¯t have orchestrated this whole thing better if you¡¯d tried,¡± he said. ¡°You don¡¯t seem too upset by the whole thing,¡± I said. In the conference room, Otto was directing the junior executives to sit down and calm down. Berger shrugged. ¡°I could use a vacation. See if that yacht¡¯s sea-worthy.¡± ¡°So, that¡¯s it? You¡¯re done working?¡± I asked. ¡°Come on, tell me that wasn¡¯t what you had in mind. I mean, you jumped on Tasha¡¯s project at thest minute, made billions, and now your job is gone, leaving you free to enjoy your fortune. Tell me you didn¡¯t n that.¡± Berger blocked my path. ¡°How could I have nned it?¡± I asked. ¡°I¡¯m not the one with the big boss¡¯ ear.¡± Berger nced towards Stan¡¯s office. ¡°You¡¯re right, but I know that Tasha didn¡¯t see thising. She doesn¡¯t have much of a poker face.¡± I smiled at that, hoping Tasha¡¯s tells would help me in the future. ¡°Well, I might be a good gambler, but I didn¡¯t know any of this wasing.¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯t stop you from being the big winner, I guess.¡± Bergerughed but didn¡¯t move. ¡°So, what do you have nned next?¡± ¡°You mean for the next five minutes? Because I just found out about all this. How would I already have a n?¡± I nced at Stan¡¯s door, but it was still closed. ¡°I¡¯m here to get all the details and find out what other people think first.¡± Berger snorted. ¡°Or you¡¯re waiting for yourdy luck to make the first move.¡± That off-handedment hit home. I had been waiting for Tasha to make the first move, some hint that she hadn¡¯t gotten me out of her system. I forced myself to shrug it off, but I couldn¡¯t take my eyes off Stan¡¯s office door. ¡°That¡¯s all in the past. There¡¯s a big, wide open future ahead now,¡± I said. ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll start my own business.¡± The idea fell t because as I said it, I hated the idea of being busy without seeing Tasha. She was the one with the business brain and all the organization. I imagined she¡¯d already outlined an entire n for herself and woulde out of Stan¡¯s office with a whole new life ahead of her. One I would not be part of. ¡°Well, I think before I take that big boat to sea, I¡¯m going to head up to wine country and in vest in some choice vintages,¡± Berger said. ¡°Of course, it would make more sense to go to France first and really refine my pallet before facing those cowboy vintners in Napa.¡± ¡°Need the right supplies for your sea voyage?¡± I asked with a raised eyebrow. Bergerughed. ¡°Exactly. I should probably cruise the top restaurants from here to New York and see if I can¡¯t poach the perfect personal chef too. Whaddya say? Dinner at French Laundry?¡± I checked my watch. ¡°I guess there¡¯s still time for you to buy a private ne. Or does your yacht have a helicopter pad?¡± ¡°Remember the stage? That¡¯s a helicopter pad.¡± Berger eyed me. ¡°Though I didn¡¯t see much of you during the show. Where¡¯d you go?¡± ¡°I was taste-testing your rye collection. Sadlycking,¡± I told him. ¡°Well, let¡¯s see youpete.¡± Berger¡¯s hands broke free and waved around as he got excited. ¡°You know, my yacht is like a floating mansion. You should get one, and we can cruise the world. Just think of the parties we could have. With both of us, we could take over entire inds.¡±Content property of N?velDra/ma.Org. ¡°Running off to y pirates?¡± I asked. The idea held no appeal whatsoever. ¡°I guess I can¡¯t nitpick. At least you have a n.¡± Another sweep of phone alerts rattled across the executive floor. I was one of the first to whip out my phone and check the news. As soon as I saw the headline, I cringed. The Ramsey Foundation, headed by Ellison¡¯s tour-de-force father, had just announced ns to start a public rtions consulting firm based in San Francisco. Berger chuckled as he skimmed the article. ¡°Looks like you had a n all along. Maybe you didn¡¯te up with it, but you¡¯re definitely set for life. Lucky bastard.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked, feigning innocence. ¡°Looks like your soon-to-be father-inw has set you up to be a respectable businessman. Can¡¯tin about that, Rainer. You¡¯re getting handed your very own firm.¡± Berger bit his lip and tried not to be jealous. I hoped the announcement would have another meaning, but it didn¡¯t seem likely. The nces I was getting from the other junior executives showed they hade to the same conclusion. Ellison and her all-powerful family were pulling all the strings to get their darling daughter exactly what she wanted. Me, on a silver tter. ¡°I¡¯m not engaged,¡± I said, but there wasn¡¯t much fight in my words. Tasha was still meeting with Stan. It was all over. ¡°Well, while you keep telling yourself that lie, the rest of us have been marking our calendars. Rumor has it that Ellison wants an autumn wedding. You¡¯ll be married before Halloween,¡± Berger said. I stifled a groan. ¡°No one should be nning my wedding except me,¡± I said. ¡°So, you admit it; marriage is on the horizon?¡± Berger asked. ¡°No. That¡¯s the opposite of what I meant.¡± I shifted to get around Berger before I lost my temper. ¡°I¡¯m not going to be railroaded into anything. Not a new job or a marriage or even dinner at French Laundry.¡± Episode Seventy-Seven Rainer¡¯s [POV] Berger held up his hands andughed. ¡°Good luck with that,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ll take a rain check on dinner, but I¡¯m for sure putting my money on September. That¡¯s right, there¡¯s a betting pool on your high-society wedding, and I¡¯m going to win it. Gotta keep that yacht afloat!¡± I refrained from punching my friend and now former-colleague. Instead, I hit the stairwell and headed back to my office. All I wanted was to see Tasha, but it was doubtful she¡¯d evere to my office again. I mmed the door. ¡°Mr. Maxwell?¡± a faint voice called through the door. I tore it back open. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Topher,¡± I told my assistant. ¡°You probably have a few questions.¡± My eager assistant was unfazed by the business upset. He came into my office with a clipboard and his resume all printed out and ready to go. ¡°I don¡¯t want to bother you, just offer my application for any of your future endeavors.¡± I shook my head. ¡°Sorry, Topher, but I¡¯m not the one you should be talking to. Though, now that I think about it, I have the perfect person to give your resume to.¡± He looked hopeful. ¡°Would you maybe be willing to write me a rmendation too?¡± I shook his hand and agreed on the spot. If Tasha took Topher on as an assistant, she would be well-supported, he would be happy, and I would have a way to check in on her. It was a selfish, ridiculous idea, but it was the first good one I¡¯d had since hearing the news. ¡°What about you, Mr. Maxwell? Do you have ns now that Hyperion is closing its doors?¡± Topher asked. I scrubbed both hands over my face. ¡°No. I¡¯m a little blindsided at the moment. But, don¡¯t worry, something wille up. And, no, it¡¯s not going to an autumn wedding.¡± Topher shook his head vehemently. ¡°I¡¯ve tried to stop the rumors, but no one believes me.¡± ¡°Tell me about it.¡± Iughed. ¡°Wait, so you believe that I¡¯m not marrying Ellison Ramsey? You might be the only one. What makes you so sure when everyone else is betting on the wedding date?¡± Topher smoothed down his tie. ¡°I know that you are not engaged to Ms. Ramsey because you haven¡¯t sent me ring shopping.¡± ¡°Maybe the ring is a family heirloom,¡± I said. My assistant scoffed.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°It would still have to be sized. And I haven¡¯t so much as ordered flowers for Ms. Ramsey.¡± I shook his hand again. ¡°Topher, you are the best assistant a man could have. Tasha will be lucky to have you.¡± ¡°Ms. Nichols? You¡¯re rmending me to Ms. Nichols?¡± Topher¡¯s voice bumped up an octave out of excitement. ¡°Thank you, sir. Thank you!¡± I waved off his gratitude and slumped into my desk chair. ¡°She deserves the support, and you deserve the chance. If I can make that happen, I¡¯ll be happy.¡± Topher hesitated in my office door. ¡°So, you won¡¯t be joining Ms. Nichols in her next venture?¡± ¡°Too soon,¡± I said. ¡°I haven¡¯t even gotten a chance to speak with her. By the way, if you see Ms. Nichols, will you ask if we can meet?¡± It was a silly, high school tactic, but I knew it would work. My assistant was even more eager to please now that his career path had an exciting direction. He left at once to write his rmendation letter so all I had to do was sign it. Ever the helpful and considerate assistant. I made a note to send him to my tailor and get him outfitted for his new venture. Whatever it might be. After Topher shut the door, I settled back in my desk chair and tried to clear my thoughts. Here I had the opportunity, and the money, to do whatever I wanted but my brain was a nk. I liked my job, the wining and dining and salesmanship and spin. I liked having a purpose when I woke up in the morning. I thought of my big, new house, still empty after I fended off Ellison¡¯s interior design crew, and shuddered. If I didn¡¯te up with something and quick, I¡¯d be rattling around that mausoleum and going crazy. In my panic, all I could think to do was channel what Tasha¡¯s next step would be. I fumbled in my desk drawers and finally found a pad of paper and a working pen. She would write a list and probably annotate the damned thing, but all I did was stare at the nk page. I had no idea what I wanted. Without Tasha in the picture, there didn¡¯t seem to be anything I did want. So, I started to jot down all the things I didn¡¯t want. Starting with a big, sshy wedding. It was a huge relief when there was a knock on my office door. ¡°Come in,¡± I called. It was most likely just Topher, but my heart bumped at the thought of seeing Tasha. Stan strode in and shut the door behind him. Surpriseunched me out of my desk chair and I came around to shake his hand. ¡°Congrattions on the deal of the year,¡± I said. ¡°I haven¡¯t read all the details, but I¡¯m sure you made the Hyperion shareholders proud.¡± Stan shook my hand then waved me back to my desk chair. ¡°You don¡¯t sound too upset. That¡¯s good.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure some people are having a little trouble with the sudden change in direction, but I¡¯m good. I¡¯ll adapt,¡± I said. ¡°So, you¡¯re not scrambling to find a new position?¡± Stan asked. Iughed. ¡°Because of Hyperion, I have the money to take a vacation. And now the time.¡± ¡°Good,¡± Stan said. ¡°Take your time. Very wise. I to ld her you¡¯d want some space.¡± My suspicions rose. ¡°Why? Is there an offer on the table I was unaware of?¡± Stan frowned at his own slip-up. ¡°I¡¯m sure the entire office has already guessed that Tasha and I will be coborating on a newpany. She fought for you to be included, but I said no. I figured you¡¯d want to enjoy your time and money.¡± ¡°So, Tasha took your offer?¡± ¡°Does that matter to you?¡± Stan asked. I slumped back in my office chair. ¡°Of course it does. I want her to be happy.¡± Stan paused and studied me. ¡°You¡¯re a good man, Rainer. I didn¡¯t always see that, but it¡¯s true. I wish you all the luck in the future.¡± ¡°Thanks,¡± I said, wondering what else the old man wasn¡¯t saying. Stan gave me a salute and opened my office door. Topher practically fell in and stumbled over at least fifty apologies to the executive. Stan pped him on the back and went out into the din of the upset office. ¡°An invitation arrived for you,¡± Topher said. ¡°I thought it might be a nice distraction.¡± I looked at my nk pad of paper andughed. ¡°Good instincts as always. I hope you put that in the rmendation letter.¡± ¡°Will do, sir. By the way, I tried to reach Ms. Nichols, but she is gone for the day.¡± Topher dropped the heavy envelope on my desk and practically skipped back to his desk to continue his letter. I waited until I could hear his fleet fingers on his keyboard, and then I reached for the invitation. The paper was fine linen and embossed with apass design. Inside the invitation only gave a restaurant and a time. I wondered if thepass signified the new direction everyone was looking for. Was it for an office farewell party? There was no signature or indication of who sent it. I dismissed the idea of an office party as my phone and email exploded with invites to such get-togethers. This was different. Tasha was already gone for the day, and as I left Hyperion, I had the wild idea she wanted to see me again. Maybe this was her subtle and elegant way of meeting me outside of work. The ideapounded when I drove up to the restaurant at the appointed time. It had a beautiful view of the San Francisco Bay and the city where we¡¯d nted themunity garden was framed perfectly on the opposite shore. I was sure it was Tasha, setting up a better date than I ever could. I wondered for a moment if Topher hadn¡¯t been in on the whole thing. I knew they¡¯d make a great team. I headed into the restaurant with high hopes. They soared as I took in the intimate interior, the privacy of the high-backed booths, and the muted elegance. It was just the ce that Tasha would prefer. It was perfect. ¡°There you are, darling.¡± The maitre d¡¯ stepped aside to reveal Ellison. She swept into my arms and kissed both cheeks, before giving me another blinding smile. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I asked before I could master myself. ¡°Did you like the invitation? I thought you could use a little mystery and intrigue after such a day.¡± Ellison took my hand and guided me into the booth. Champagne was already on ice and a half-dozen gourmet dishes appeared at once. The first course included all of my favorites, but I wasn¡¯t hungry. ¡°What is all this, Ellison?¡± I asked. ¡°My treat to you. I thought this ce was your taste. I want you to feelfortable. Rx, have a ss of champagne,¡± she said. I couldn¡¯t settle into my seat and fought the urge to jump up again. It was a set-up. This time Ellison had tailored everything to fit my tastes, but it was still obviously a set-up. She sat across from me with an air of expectation tainting her perfect smile. Ellison expected me to propose. It took all my restraint to ept a ss of champagne and stay in my seat. I mmed back the expensive vintage and looked my ex-girlfriend straight in the face. ¡°I¡¯m curious, if we hadn¡¯t broken up, if getting engaged was even halfway a good idea, what would our marriage be like?¡± I asked. Ellison¡¯s certainty slipped, but she recovered quickly. Sheced her elegant hands together. ¡°What sort of marriage appeals to you?¡± I shook my head. ¡°I asked first.¡± Her gaze cooled as Ellison settled in for real negotiations. ¡°I imagine our marriage could be fairly open. We are both busy people, and I travel extensively. As long as we kept the appearance up, our marriage could have untraditional caveats.¡± ¡°You¡¯d let me have mistresses and affairs as long I kept them out of the public eye?¡± I asked. Ellison sipped her champagne. ¡°I¡¯m a practical woman, Rainer. If total monogamy is what¡¯s stopping you, then I can be reasonable about certain rules.¡± My mouth tasted like ash and I pushed my te away from me. ¡°I don¡¯t understand you,¡± I told Ellison. ¡°What¡¯s the big mystery?¡± she asked with an arched eyebrow. ¡°We make a perfect match. Our families will be united and we¡¯ll leave behind a legacy that willst for centuries. The little details shouldn¡¯t get in the way of that.¡± ¡°So, you¡¯re willing to sacrifice everything for some antiquated idea of legacy?¡± I asked. Ellison sat up primly. ¡°What exactly am I sacrificing?¡± I couldn¡¯t believe she was still in negotiation mode. ¡°What about love? What about finding the perfect person and loving only them for the rest of your life?¡± ¡°Please, Rainer. I¡¯m not some little girl full of fairytales.¡± Ellison smoothed back her hair. ¡°This is the real world.¡± ¡°So, that¡¯s it? You don¡¯t want anything more?¡± I asked. My voice was getting too loud, but I couldn¡¯t help myself. ¡°You don¡¯t want a passionate, undeniable love? Just a marriage contract that focuses on the perfect image. The Ramsey-Maxwell merger.¡± ¡°Honestly, Rainer. Why are you acting so silly?¡± Ellison asked. ¡°Is this because we broke up all those years ago? You weren¡¯t marriage material then, but you are now. It¡¯s that simple.¡± I stood up. ¡°You know what¡¯s simple? My answer. It¡¯s no.¡± Episode Seventy-Eight Tasha Then Rainer ¡°Ladies and gentlemen, we¡¯ll be descending into San Francisco International Airport soon.¡± The pilot¡¯s announcement tore me from my head-in-the-clouds view. It was still a shock to look around and find myself in first ss. I lounged in a white leather seat with an array of menus in front of me. I wiggled my toes in theplimentary slippers and took a sip of champagne. It felt sinfully wonderful to stretch out after all those years of flying coach. ¡°See? I knew you¡¯d settle into this lifestyle,¡± Ivy said. She slipped into the wide seat next to me and signaled for a refill on champagne. ¡°Thanks foring with me for thest leg,¡± I told Ivy. My friend shed a morous smile. ¡°You¡¯re wee. It was a real hardship.¡± I nced back out the airne window and resisted the urge to pinch myself. Not only was I flying in full luxury, but it was for work. My work. ¡°Now, before wend, I want you to take advantage of one more first ss perk: the avable businessmen,¡± Ivy said. She leaned closer and nodded towards a young man across the aisle ahead of us. ¡°I know for a fact that Mr. Gray Suit there is in advertising. As in he owns thergest advertising firm in the Midwest. I don¡¯t know if you¡¯re a snob about location.¡± I shoved Ivy with my shoulder. ¡°You know I¡¯m not. Just like you know that I¡¯m not in the market for a mile high hook-up.¡± Ivy sighed. ¡°I¡¯m not trying to hook you up. I¡¯m trying to help you find someone. A real match.¡± I leaned my head back in thefortable seat. ¡°Can¡¯t we talk about something else? Weren¡¯t you supposed to teach me the finer aspects of caviar?¡± ¡°You want to change the subject? Big surprise.¡± Ivy sat up and raised her crystal champagne ss. ¡°Here¡¯s to your outrageous sess at work. Now that you¡¯ve got your dream career, what else could you need?¡± ¡°A lot of people are happy just with their dream careers,¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯re right, and I love that, but you can also have it all,¡± Ivy said firmly. I shook my head. ¡°Watching mymunity building foundation go national is enough for me.¡± ¡°For now,¡± Ivy said. Iughed at her heavy tone. ¡°At least until we hit the tarmac,¡± Ipromised. While Ivy reviewed her contacts list for possible dates, I dug into my briefcase for the packet Topher had sent me. Rainer¡¯s old assistant was an amazing help. I¡¯d been sad to let Amy go, but she assured me she was much happier pursuing a career in coffee preparation. I dumped the contents onto the spacious tray top in front of me. Topher had sent all my mail because he knew I didn¡¯t like to be idle on airnes. I lifted the first envelope, and Ivy¡¯s hand darted over to grab an elegant envelope. My heart did a dive all the way to the distant ground. Had it finally happened? Had Rainer actually sent me an invitation to his wedding? I¡¯d be dreading it for thest few months. ¡°It¡¯s from the White House.¡± Ivy cooed over the gorgeous card stock and gold leaf embossment. She delicately opened it and grinned from ear to ear. ¡°You¡¯ve been invited to the White House in order to speak about the core needs ofmunities and how we as a nation can build strongermunities.¡± ¡°Wow,¡± I said, but my voice came out shaky. The relief I felt after discovering it was not an invitation to Rainer¡¯s wedding had left me weak. Ivy¡¯s sharp eyes flew to my face. ¡°What did you think it would be?¡± ¡°Nothing. I¡¯m just overwhelmed. That¡¯s quite an honor.¡± I wiped my forehead. Ivy narrowed her eyes before going back to admiring the elegant invitation. ¡°It says you can bring a plus one. See? I knew there was a reason I was pushing you to start dating again.¡± ¡°Again?¡± I asked. ¡°I never stopped.¡± My friend patted my arm. ¡°I know things were hectic after you left Hyperion, but you haven¡¯t even been out for drinks since then.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been a little busy,¡± I said. Ivy wouldn¡¯t let me off that easy. ¡°And now things are settling down. That¡¯s why you invited me to join you in Chicago. Face it, Tasha, now that you have your dream job and your schedule is actually bnced, you have no excuse for not having fun.¡± ¡°We had fun in Chicago.¡± ¡°That¡¯s was shopping,¡± Ivy said. ¡°I¡¯m talking about having wine with dinner. Meeting a man for drinks and seeing if it might go somewhere. I¡¯d even settle for knowing you¡¯d been out to brunch with someone halfway decent.¡± Iughed at Ivy¡¯s frustration. ¡°I have fun. Getting a new wardrobe in Chicago was fun.¡± ¡°I know, I know, I shouldn¡¯t try so hard to be a matchmaker. I just want everyone to be as happy as I am. You can¡¯t fault me for that,¡± Ivy said. ¡°And I won¡¯t. I appreciate it, Ivy, I really do. I¡¯m just not ready to date right now.¡± ¡°Or have fun,¡± Ivy muttered. I leaned my head back against the seat and tried to think of thest time I had actually had fun. After Stan¡¯s announcement, everything was a blur. I¡¯d seen Rainer here and there in the office, but we never got a chance to talk alone. I wondered if he was mad at me for epting Stan¡¯s offer and leaving everyone behind, but that didn¡¯t seem like something he would do. Still, he didn¡¯t reach out to me, and the only conclusion I could reach was that he was moving on. With Ellison. I squeezed my eyes shut. Thest time I had fun was on Berger¡¯s yacht when I knew Rainer was following me down the narrow hallway to that private cabin. It took everything I had to push that memory aside. The rest of the flight was heavenly seeing as I was able to leave everything up to the first-ss crew and Ivy. A limousine was waiting to take me home, and though I cringed at the attention it garnered, I was d when Ivy shut the door and waved my driver on. One thing I was discovering as a businesswoman and rising CEO was how focused everyone still was on personal rtionships. I was turning out to be a very desirable bachelorette. That¡¯s why, when the limousine stopped outside the quaint little white Victorian house on the hill, I had to stifle a groan. My sister was stretching her sore back in the middle of the sidewalk but waved energetically when she saw me.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. ¡°What do you think?¡± Barbie called as I climbed out of the limousine. Only my sister could ignore the long, stylish car bnced precariously on the steep East Bay hill. ¡°I went with white and blue. Not too girly. Do you like it?¡± My limousine driver trotted over to help Barbie before she hefted arge flowering shrub. Sheughed, pressing both hands to her belly, and then turned back to me. ¡°Wee home.¡± I automatically nced back down the hill where my little condominium was still nestled on the hillside. I had moved all of four doors, but it was a big change. Not only had my view improved to include three bridges and all of San Francisco, but I¡¯d traded up for a five bedroom ssic. Barbie had raved about the bay windows and built-in window seats, the crown molding and the hand-carved banister up the polished stairs. But I had bought it for the garden. Months after Hyperion had been sold, the only sce I had found was digging in the garden. The white Victorian boasted an acre-sized lot broken into graceful terraces, and even a small orchard row. I had slowly been filling in the rolling garden beds, but Barbie had done wonders. ¡°I love it,¡± I told my sister. She rolled up her sleeves. ¡°Good,¡± she said. ¡°Now, let¡¯s talk about the interior.¡± ¡°Can I at least unpack first?¡± I asked. My limousine driver jumped to collect my bags and bring them inside. Barbie eyed my slim suitcase. ¡°You know you don¡¯t even have a dresser yet, right?¡± ¡°So, it¡¯s a little sparse inside. I just haven¡¯t had time to buy new furniture,¡± I said. ¡°And maybe you¡¯re just waiting.¡± Barbie followed me closely up the front steps. ¡°Furniture is a big decision.¡± My sister was right. I was hesitating because every time I went to look at furniture all I could think about was what Rainer would look like lounging on it. ¡°Actually, it¡¯s such a nice day, why don¡¯t we sit out here and work on the garden some more?¡± I asked. Barbie waddled ahead to show me what she¡¯d been working on. One garden bed waspletely jam-packed with wildflowers. ¡°I mixed the colors so you can just cut a bunch and bring them inside.¡± She had ns to add fragrant nts to each bed, letting the scents blend before they breezed in my front windows. Then Barbie showed me the sunny spot where she envisioned a raised garden bed for vegetables. ¡°I was thinking a window box full of herbs would be nice right outside the kitchen,¡± I said. Barbie heaved her rounded frame into the bushes outside the kitchen and pulled out a measuring tape. I started tough but ended up just admiring my beautiful sister. No matter what she was doing, Barbie always had a contented and settled look to her smile. She knew what she wanted and appreciated what she had. I had been pouring everything I had into work, and I still didn¡¯t have the air of satisfaction that my big sister did. I stepped back into the sunshine and took in my heirloom house and blooming garden. The idea of a house-warming party jumped into my head, and as Barbie measured for a window box, I imagined what it would be like to host my friends and colleagues. Rainer would walk through the front gate and his head would brush the wisteria. He would see me, and we¡¯d embrace, normal for two close co-workers, but I would take an extra second to smell the flowers mixed with his cologne. ¡°Please tell me you¡¯re not nning a presentation,¡± Barbie said. I helped her back onto level ground. ¡°No. But I was thinking about a house-warming party. I mean, I know it¡¯s not the big shy mansion that most of my colleagues have, but it¡¯s a real historical gem.¡± ¡°Would you invite everyone from Hyperion?¡± Barbie asked. ¡°It would be nice to see that Rainer again.¡± I stiffened as if a bee had stung me. ¡°Why do you say that?¡± Barbie smiled at me. ¡°He¡¯s a handsome guy. A girl can look. Even pregnant ones.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t tease me, Barbie,¡± I wailed. ¡°Ivy¡¯s already done enough of that.¡± ¡°She teases you about Rainer too?¡± Barbie asked. I threw my hands up in the air. ¡°Why do you keep bringing up Rainer?¡± I asked. ¡°Why does it keep bothering you?¡± Barbie asked. I stomped back to the front steps. ¡°What, are we in junior high school again?¡± ¡°She teases you about Rainer too?¡± Barbie asked. I threw my hands up in the air. ¡°Why do you keep bringing up Rainer?¡± I asked. ¡°Why does it keep bothering you?¡± Barbie asked. I stomped back to the front steps. ¡°What, are we in junior high school again?¡± Barbie looked down at her rounded belly. ¡°Thank God we¡¯re not.¡± I plopped down on the front steps and red up at her. ¡°I¡¯m sick of matchmakers,¡± I said. My sister put her fists where her waist used to be andughed. ¡°Tasha, when are you going to realize that you can¡¯t fool me? All of your so-called problems stem from the same thing, and it¡¯s time you admitted it.¡± ¡°What problems?¡± I asked. ¡°The nk te inside, the belief that you¡¯ll never be content; it alles from the same ce,¡± Barbie said. ¡°Fine,¡± I groaned. ¡°Just tell me. What is the root of all my problems?¡± Episode Seventy-Nine My sister put both hands on my cheeks and raised my face up to her smile. ¡°You¡¯re in love.¡± The gorgeous redhead looped her arm through mine, and I felt a rush of excitement as I escorted her down the front steps. We stood in my brick-paved driveway and looked up at the house. ¡°It wouldn¡¯t have been so cold and echoing if you¡¯d actually furnished it,¡± she said. ¡°You thought it was cold too? When I first saw it, I figured all the sunshine would warm it up,¡± I said. She shook her shiny hair. ¡°No, warming it up is your job.¡± I chuckled at her purring voice and extricated myself from her grasp. ¡°Now, don¡¯t start with that again. I know you¡¯re a married woman.¡± ¡°Has that ever stopped you before?¡± she asked. I sighed. ¡°So, you need anything else from me?¡± The redhead patted my arm and smiled. ¡°No, dear. Just teasing you a little. I¡¯m d you decided to sell. This ce just isn¡¯t the right fit for you.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, shoving my hands in my pockets, ¡°but it sure did look good for a while.¡± ¡°Well, if you¡¯d stop beating around the bush about what you really want, I could find you a ce that would fit you to a T,¡± she said. I kissed her cheek. ¡°You¡¯re a great realtor, but I¡¯m just not ready to buy again.¡± She sighed. ¡°Another bachelor resigned to hotel living. The bane of my profession.¡± My real estate agent cruised down the driveway and honked once before disappearing into the splendid curves of my soon-to-be old neighborhood. It felt good to be getting rid of something that had fit my image and not me. My smile was short-lived as my brother drove in at break-neck speed. I refused to move, and he squealed to a stop just inches from my shins. ¡°Good to see you, Evan,¡± I called. ¡°So, it was just too respectable for you, huh?¡± Evan asked. I gritted my teeth against his appraising look. ¡°Yup. Too rich for my blood. Oh wait, that statement doesn¡¯t really fit, but you know what I mean,¡± I said. Evan sniffed. The only point of contention he had anymore was my choice of living space. Now that my charity work was starting to garner notice, he couldn¡¯t even mock me for myck of a job. ¡°You know, Father doesn¡¯t it think hotel living really fits the Maxwell family standards,¡± Evan said. I sighed. ¡°It makes sense seeing as I¡¯m on the ground in themunities where I work.¡± ¡°Speaking of that.¡± Evan sniffed again. ¡°Why did you pick that little town on the other side of the bay? No one knows it¡¯s there. Couldn¡¯t you have gone for a higher profile city in need?¡± I nced over the Bay Bridge to Tasha¡¯s little sliver of a neighborhood. ¡°I didn¡¯t base it off ratings. The main street is seeing a revival, young families are moving into the area, and they had the perfect building just waiting to be converted.¡± Evan gave me a pinched look. ¡°It¡¯s just an odd choice. There¡¯s nothing there.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the point, Evan. It¡¯s charity. They need amunity center, and I am donating one,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯d make more sense if you lived there.¡± Evan pulled a sour face. ¡°You¡¯re not moving to the East Bay, are you? Maxwells have always lived in San Francisco.¡± I headed up my front steps, hoping Evan would have to jet off somewhere else. Anywhere else. ¡°I like the little town. I¡¯m not saying I¡¯m moving there or anything, it¡¯s just a nice ce to start.¡± I held my breath. Every time I talked about themunity center construction project, I waited for someone to call me out on it. There was a definite need for a gathering ce in Tasha¡¯s town, but soon someone would wonder why I chose to build my first major project in her backyard. ¡°Well, at least you¡¯re starting to get press for this so-called new ¡®work¡¯ of yours,¡± Evan said. He jangled the keys to his new sports car. ¡°I mean, it¡¯s one step above charity luncheons and craft bazaars, but at least it¡¯s something.¡± I stopped at my front door. ¡°Would you rather I was jet-setting around the world, partying, and having the time of my life?¡± ¡°Frankly, that would feel more normal than this,¡± Evan said. ¡°Anyway, Father told me to check in on you, and now you can tell him I stopped by. I have to get going if I want to make my tee time.¡± I didn¡¯t bother to wave as Evan sped off in his sports car, revving the engine so the whole neighborhood would notice. My thoughts were across the bay. For the first few months after Hyperion was sold, I spent my time making the charity rounds, but my brother was right. There were only so many luncheons and silent auctions that I could stand. So, I started working on my own charitable outlets and finally settled onmunity renovations. It had started off quietly at first, but now my approach was gaining interest. It would only be a matter of time before Tasha noticed my efforts were sprouting in her own backyard. If she even still lived there. I had heard a few weeks back that she had moved, but no one seemed to know any other details than that. I hated Tasha¡¯s low profile even as I emted it myself. She was still on my mind as I traversed my empty mansion. Upstairs there was nothing but a tailored suit hanging on the back of the master suite door. My small suitcasey open on the long marble counter in the bathroom, and all my other measly possessions were safe in storage. I lifted the suit off the hook and held it up. It was the same one I wore to the yacht party. The same one that Tasha had peeled off me in her attempt to get me out of her system. I wondered for the thousandth time if it had worked for her. It had made things worse for me. I rehung the suit and turned on a cold shower. Just the memory of Tasha still made me sweat. I jumped out the shower fifteen minutester to the incessant ringing of my phone. I grabbed the one white towel left in the house and wrapped it around my waist. ¡°Berger, where are you?¡± I asked, answering the call. ¡°Downstairs. What are you doing in that empty house? Get down here so we can go out and party,¡± Berger said. ¡°I¡¯m just getting dressed. Front door¡¯s open,¡± I said. I hung up the phone and finished drying off. By the time I made it downstairs, my former colleagues were ying an impromptu game of hockey with a can of caviar from my realtor¡¯s thank-you basket. I stopped the improvised puck with my foot and shot it back towards Berger. ¡°There you are. We couldn¡¯t find you in this mausoleum,¡± Berger said. ¡°It¡¯s not that bad,¡± I said. Berger nced around the white marble mansion. ¡°Not bad if you¡¯re eighty,¡± he dered.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. The others agreed and made a string of jokes about the echoing home. ¡°Are you done yet? Can we get out of here?¡± I grabbed my suitcase and carried it to the door. ¡°I¡¯m going to throw this in the trunk. I¡¯m heading to a hotel tonight.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t me you,¡± Berger said. ¡°I feel like I¡¯m about to get interred.¡± ¡°Then let¡¯s go,¡± I said. I herded the guys towards the big arched front doors, but Berger slipped around me. ¡°Looks like you started to get a little work done on the ce. Smart idea, taking down this wall.¡± ¡°Not my idea,¡± I said. Berger nodded. ¡°Seems like an Ellison touch to me. She has a great eye for sight lines and how a room should flow.¡± ¡°Yeah, Ellison¡¯s good like that. Wait, how do you know?¡± I asked. Our colleagues answered with a trio of juvenile cooing. ¡°Stop.¡± Berger¡¯s light smile was gone. ¡°She¡¯s always admiring andparing the interiors when I, ah, run into her at cocktail parties.¡± It was my turn to pester my friend. ¡°So, you ¡®run into¡¯ Ellison a lot, do you?¡± I asked. Before our friends could answer for him, Berger held up his hand. ¡°We run in the same circles. It¡¯s only natural.¡± ¡°If you like charity luncheons and art openings,¡± I said. The guysughed. This time it was Berger that herded us towards the front doors. ¡°I thought you didn¡¯t like to talk about Ellison anymore.¡± ¡°But I would like to talk about your sudden interest in my ex-girlfriend,¡± I said. Berger scowled. ¡°You¡¯re over her. You made that abundantly clear.¡± I sighed. ¡°Not to everyone.¡± Rumors still circted that Ellison and I would get married. People delighted in thinking that our distance was due to the fact we were trying to keep our exclusive wedding a secret. It was ridiculous, but I was d to see that it bothered someone else besides me. Berger looked miserable when the guys still joked with me about it. ¡°Besides,¡± Berger said, perking up, ¡°tonight is not about me and the only charitable giving that¡¯s going to happen tonight is tips. Let¡¯s go out and turn San Francisco upside down.¡± I tried to stop in the door, but Berger and the guys shoved me through. Before I could protest, remind them that I didn¡¯t party for a living anymore, my suitcase was thrown into the limousine trunk and I was pushed into the plush interior. A small disco ball was already spinning inside the party vehicle and the mini-bar was wide open. Berger instructed the driver to take us past all the hottest clubs in town so we could scope out the scene. I sat back and tried not to see the Bay Bridge at every turn as we wound down from my neighborhood to the lower districts. Every time I saw the bridge, I had the urge to drive straight to Tasha¡¯s little town. ¡°So, I¡¯ve sold my house,¡± I said. ¡°Have we heard of any other Hyperion employees moving?¡± ¡°Nah, but look at that,¡± Berger said. I nced out the limousine window just in time to see Stan walking in the front doors of a five-star restaurant. ¡°The big shot himself,¡± I said. Berger snorted. ¡°Yeah, who knew that our cutthroat leader would give it all up and be the patron saint of the city?¡± It seemed to me that Stan had been influenced by Tasha as much as she had been mentored by him. I had kept tabs on my old boss in hopes of seeing mention of her, but so far she was off the radar. Stan, on the other hand, had founded one of thergest charity institutions created in recent history. He broke tradition, and it had galvanized the upper echelons of San Francisco society ¨C where he gave, they followed. Tasha had to be behind it all, I knew it, but no one could tell me any details. Berger delighted in dangling rumors in front of me, only to admit that he hadn¡¯t heard anything about Tasha either. ¡°Forget about our disappearing colleague,¡± Berger said. ¡°Tonight you promised you¡¯d have fun.¡± He hauled me out of the limousine and into the club. I kept it up for all of fifteen minutes before I slipped away and headed up to the rooftop lounge. There I had two stiff drinks before I was able to turn around and face the view. The Bay Bridge was glowing in a light fog. The dark waters of the bay only entuated the bright bridge¡¯s iconic silhouette, but it didn¡¯t catch my eye. Instead, I found myself gazing off across the water to the opposite shore. Thest I heard Tasha was still there, and I wished more than anything that I could see her again. Episode Eighty Tasha¡¯s [POV] The event organizer shook my hand again. ¡°Your foundation has contributed so much, and we¡¯re so honored you could join us. It might seem a little in to you, but I promise you¡¯ll have a great night.¡± ¡°A little in?¡± I asked. ¡°True elegance is simplicity.¡± Topher furiously typed my words into his phone. ¡°Great quote, Ms. Nichols.¡± I nodded to the organizer and walked into the banquet hall. ¡°When are you going to remember to call me Tasha?¡± I asked my assistant. ¡°When you¡¯re not being honored at an awards dinner,¡± Topher said. I smiled at his prim tone. ¡°Well, Ms. Nichols¡¯ image is all thanks to you, so I can¡¯tin.¡± My young assistant¡¯s ears reddened. ¡°I¡¯ll go and find our table. You just mingle. And enjoy yourself.¡± His reminder was serious. Even Stan hadined that all my tabloid shots looked too stern. I still wasn¡¯t used to the pomp of high society charity events, and they often made me feel stiff and awkward. Luckily, this was a local awards dinner hosted by and for themunities I was helping. It was a relief to see the server staff were volunteers; no white gloves were in sight. I thanked the young woman who brought me a ss of wine, and she smiled. It felt good to be around real people and not in a room of people ying a role. Stan kept on at me about ying my role. Now that I was officially known as a billionaire, I needed to act the part. Ivy had decked me out in an entirely new wardrobe; Barbie was using her nesting instincts to decorate my new home, and Topher deferred to me like royalty. It all made me cringe, but it was a small price to pay for the work I was able to get done. I nced around the room and noted a few charitable CEOs who I recognized. While two stood off to the side discussing their next trip to St. Barts, one was engaged in discussion with a volunteer server. I watched as the two economically prized people smiled andughed. The CEO then pped the volunteer on the shoulder. It was a genuine exchange, and as I sipped my inexpensive wine, I started to enjoy myself. Somewhere there existed awork of ultra-rich and yet low-key people, and I vowed to find them. With that in mind, I scanned the room again. It was a smaller gathering, but there were still enough people to fill the banquet hall and make it a maze of clustered conversations. In my vicinity, there were discussions of the best golf courses, Napa Valley vintages, and the cost of maintaining amunity swimming pool. As I wound my way around a round table, I heard opinions on why Rome was the ce to be, how to make a billion dors flippingmercial real estate, and why pancake breakfasts are the best charity fundraisers. It was easy to remember to smile as I wove amongst the varied conversations, taking note of those in my tax bracket who still sounded like regr people. I was just about to join a discussion on using goats for median maintenance when someone bumped into me. ¡°Tasha, I mean, Ms. Nichols. So nice to see you again,¡± Rainer said. I was speechless and felt my bottom lip drop open like a fish¡¯s mouth. Rainer turned his back on the men he¡¯d been talking to, a powerful duo straight from Wall Street, and focused entirely on me. I popped my mouth closed, but couldn¡¯t think of a word to say. ¡°You know, I think thest time we met like this, out socially, it was on James Berger¡¯s yacht. Do you remember that party?¡± Rainer asked. I narrowed my eyes but managed to stick my smile back in ce. ¡°It¡¯s always nice to see an old co-worker. How are you?¡± Rainer smirked. ¡°So casual. So polite. Ms. Nichols who most people know.¡± ¡°And what is wrong with casual and polite?¡± I asked. ¡°Is that how you would describe our meeting at that yacht party?¡± Rainer asked. I fought the urge to punch him in the shoulder. ¡°I much prefer parties like these, don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Oh, look, your drink¡¯s low. Let¡¯s get you a refill.¡± Rainer caught my arm and gracefully escorted me across the banquet hall to a quiet corner just past the beverage table. A server brought over two sses of wine and I turned to her. ¡°Thank you. Oh, your name tag says you work in recreational aquatics¡± Rainer took the sses. ¡°We were just discussing boats and boat parties.¡± The volunteer smiled politely and slipped away, leaving me to face Rainer and his determined conversation alone. I took a sip of my wine and looked desperately for any other conversation to join. He stepped closer to me and the warmth of him mixed with his intoxicating cologne swept over me. My polite smile slipped, and I caught myself licking my lower lip. Rainer did not miss my reaction. He slipped an arm around my waist. From across the room, we probably looked like old, familiar co-workers surveying the room together, but I felt his fingers flex over the curve of my hip. A shot of desire sang through me and, instead of pulling away, I leaned closer. I couldn¡¯t help myself. ¡°So, you¡¯ll have to tell me if that n of yours worked or not.¡± Rainer clinked his wine ss against mine. ¡°What n?¡± I asked. I couldn¡¯t pull away without making a scene. Rainer¡¯s fingers stroked the silk of my sundress in hot,zy circles. ¡°The n to get me out of your system. I told you, it didn¡¯t work for me. Have you been faring any better?¡± I moved then but his arm encircled me and my breasts bumped against the front of his sports coat. It took a full five seconds before I managed to step back. I then counted another five before trying to respond. My voice was breathless. ¡°Do you expect me to admit anything to you?¡± Rainerughed and luckily Topher took that as the signal that he could now approach. ¡°It¡¯s so nice to see you two together.¡± ¡°Topher. It¡¯s like the band getting back together,¡± Rainer said. He shook his former assistant¡¯s hand. ¡°I¡¯ve been meaning to thank you for rmending Topher to me. He¡¯s an excellent resource,¡± I said. Rainer arched an eyebrow at me. ¡°Yeah, well, my n backfired because our ethical man here wouldn¡¯t funnel me any information on how you¡¯ve been doing.¡± ¡°I appreciate that,¡± I told Topher. Topher looked from me to Rainer with an eager expression. ¡°Maybe I should make youte dinner reservations? I¡¯m not sure how much food they are serving here, and there¡¯s a new tapas ce not far. That would give you real-time to catch up.¡± I held up a hand before Rainer could agree with my assistant. ¡°We¡¯re fine here. Thank you.¡± ¡°Mr. Maxwell has been inquiring after you,¡± Topher admitted. ¡°It would take the pressure off me as the middleman.¡± Rainer put an arm around his old assistant. ¡°Give him a break, Ms. Nichols.¡± ¡°I think that¡¯s up to you,¡± I said.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. Topher saw my stiff response and found himself an errand to run across the room. I watched him go before I turned to Rainer. ¡°I still haven¡¯t managed to includete-night wining and dining in my work schedule.¡± ¡°Why not? It makes morning meetings harder but the advantage is the rxed perspective you get of clients,¡± Rainer said. ¡°I¡¯m not your client,¡± I pointed out. Rainer gave a frustrated sigh. ¡°You know, it¡¯s okay to add a little excitement to your work.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the problem,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m just not excited enough. I know the other junior executives used to call me the Ice Queen.¡± ¡°I never once called you that. My experience was much the opposite,¡± Rainer said. I scanned the room again as my cheeks reddened. The pre-awards cocktails were still being served by volunteers and we were far enough on the edges of the crowd to pass unnoticed. It was ridiculous, but I knew I couldn¡¯t have a conversation with Rainer while in work mode because he upset myposure. The one thing he seemed determined to do. ¡°Let¡¯s just face facts,¡± I said. ¡°I was never exciting enough for you and you probably breathed a sigh of relief when you didn¡¯t have to deal with my work style anymore.¡± Rainer frowned. ¡°Face facts? Speaking of facing facts, I believe I asked you a question about how your n worked out and you never got a chance to answer it.¡± I ground my teeth. ¡°I¡¯m not discussing yacht parties or anything that may have happened at them.¡± ¡°May have?¡± Rainer shook his head. ¡°I¡¯m creative, but there¡¯s no way I worked up that fantasy all on my own.¡± My cheeks burned with a brighter blush. ¡°Fantasy?¡± I squeaked. Rainer leaned close to my ear. ¡°You never think about it? Us alone in that cabin while the party and rock concert raged on without us?¡± I stepped away from him and stopped the urge to fan my hot face. ¡°Stop,¡± I whispered. ¡°No, not until you face facts. I don¡¯t find you boring, and I never did. You are one of the most exciting, and damn frustrating, women I have ever met,¡± Rainer said. My eyes widened enough to notice not only Topher but my entire team bearing down on us. Within seconds, I was engulfed by questions on seating, eptance speeches, who was to be in charge of taking the award to the office, and fifty other small details. ¡°I¡¯m sure I can handle all of this,¡± Topher said. ¡°Just say the word.¡± I nced up at Rainer. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but it looks like I have work to do.¡± ¡°You never were good at delegating,¡± Rainer said. A bubble of nervousughter broke out of my mouth. ¡°Can you imagine what would have happened if I delegated to one of my temporary assistants? I really can¡¯t thank you enough for rmending Topher.¡± Rainer caught my hand. ¡°Or to your fellow junior executives. How did you put up with us for so long?¡± I didn¡¯t want to let go of what appeared to be a casual handshake. None of my team noticed except for Topher whose eyes shone with approval. Then the house lights flickered and a swell of pre-recorded music caught everyone¡¯s attention. ¡°If you will please find your seats, the awards ceremony will begin shortly,¡± a nervous voice announced. Rainer squeezed my fingers. ¡°I want us to catch up, Tasha.¡± The sincerity in his eyes tipped me off bnce and I hung on to his hand to keep from swaying. ¡°Your boring old stick-in-the-mud colleague?¡± ¡°That¡¯s not how I remember you at all,¡± Rainer said. His gaze was hot, but there was more to his words than just innuendo. The lights flickered again, and I shot the cheap chandelier an irritated look. ¡°I¡¯m sure we¡¯ll run into each other again.¡± Topher piped up. ¡°The tapas ce is three blocks away, and they are holding a table for me if you want.¡± Rainerughed and slipped his hand out of my grip to chuck his old assistant on the shoulder. ¡°Always anticipating. d you¡¯re taking such good care of our Tasha.¡± Topher pointed me to our table, far across the room, as Rainer turned to a nearby table. He pulled out a chair for the older woman next to him, and our eyes met. ¡°Good luck,¡± I said, reluctant to move. He winked and the flutters that flirty move caused followed me to our far table. My head cleared as I nodded to my fellow table mates. What was I thinking flirting with Rainer Maxwell? As far as I knew, he was engaged to Ellison Ramsey and nning the pinnacle of a high-society wedding. Episode Eighty-One Tasha¡¯s [POV] The charming toasts and stale jokes of the awards dinner began and I found it hard to concentrate on anything. I had somehow sat so I had to either turn towards the podium or sit staring straight ahead at Rainer. Through a few shifting gaps of other people, his smiling face would appear and give me a little jolt. He chatted with people at his table,ughed in support of whoever was at the podium, and lounged in his chair lookingpletely at ease. ¡°Ms. Nichols, is there anything I can get you?¡± Topher asked in a hushed tone. ¡°No, I¡¯m fine. And you can stop asking,¡± I told my assistant. He shook his head. ¡°You look unhappy. They¡¯re about to take a break if you¡¯d like to switch tables. Maybe something with an easier view?¡± Topher meant of the stage, but he had no idea how apt his suggestion was for me. I couldn¡¯t help but stare at Rainer, and the more I did, the more I felt the tug of attraction. If I was seated somewhere else, maybe I could better concentrate on the awards being given out. The next presenters had a slideshow, and I took to swirling my wine and then trying to ce it on the table in the same position. Topher eyed me with worry, but I shook my head at him. I was fine and didn¡¯t need to move. It didn¡¯t matter that the table directly behind Rainer was half-empty. I could face the podium and see my fill of the back of his head. Rainer would turn around, toss some funnyment over his shoulder, and we¡¯dugh. Just like in meetings at themunity garden when his funny little asides were for my ears only. I imagined us finishing off the dull awards speeches sitting side by side and highly entertained. It was tempting, and for a moment I sat up to signal Topher. Then I thought of Rainer¡¯s impending nuptials and slumped back in my seat. I might miss his banter, but I had no right to it. We didn¡¯t even work together anymore. I turned my chair with a loud scrape and concentrated on the slideshow. For all of thirty seconds before I nced across the room and saw Rainer looking back at me. His look was intense, solidifying his easy smile into something serious. Rainer considered me the way a predator might stare at prey that once escaped. I shifted in my seat and was d when a round of apuse ended the long slideshow.Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. From then on, I resolved not to look at Rainer. Instead, I scanned the room again, wondering if perhaps his fiancee camete and was waiting politely for the break to join him. Ellison knew how to make an entrance, and I expected to see her when I turned around. She wasn¡¯t there. Rainer hadn¡¯t mentioned her. And neither did Topher. Why would my very detailed assistant offer to make our reservations for two? Shouldn¡¯t Rainer be off to meet his fiancee as quickly as he could escape? No. I was being too romantic. Ellison Ramsey most likely had some fancier and more expensive charity events to attend. Rainer was at this grassroots event out of the kindness of his heart. I had to ignore the small voice that said perhaps he came on the off-chance that I would attend as well. The woman seated next to me waited until the apuse subsided then she leaned over with a conspiratorial smile. ¡°That Rainer Maxwell is easy on the eyes, isn¡¯t he?¡± she asked. I swirled my wine ss too much and almost spilled. ¡°Yes, I suppose he is.¡± ¡°Oh, dear, there is no supposing about it. Just look at him. I don¡¯t me you for letting your gaze stray that way a few times.¡± She patted my arm. ¡°We used to work together,¡± I tried to exin, but it sounded like such a weak excuse. My table mateughed. ¡°Well, then you must know his reputation.¡± Irritation stiffened my spine on Rainer¡¯s behalf. ¡°What reputation is that?¡± I asked. ¡°He¡¯s easy on the eyes but tough on the heart,¡± the woman informed me. ¡°I¡¯ve heard him linked with at least five different one-night stands.¡± I frowned. ¡°Rainer Maxwell is engaged to be married. His fiancee would thank you to leave his past in the past.¡± ¡°Engaged?¡± The woman sped my arm. ¡°You mean that whole thing with Ellison Ramsey? Oh, most people just think that was a publicity stunt. After he turned down the position that was tailor-made for him, I hear she was so mad she left for Europe.¡± ¡°Wait.¡± I sped my table mate¡¯s arm on mine. ¡°Are you saying that he and Ellison Ramsey are not engaged to be married?¡± The woman must have seen the fevered look in my eyes because she backtracked. ¡°Well, one never knows with these tabloid types.¡± ¡°Haven¡¯t the papers announced their wedding date?¡± She pried my hand off hers and edged away from me to the opposite side of her chair. ¡°It¡¯s hard to tell what¡¯s publicity and what¡¯s real. I don¡¯t know Mr. Maxwell. I¡¯m just specting for fun.¡± I forced augh and spit out some Hollywood tabloid I had seen in the market the other day. The woman smiled and nodded, but did not rx again. I excused myself to get another ss of wine. Two volunteer servers and Topher jumped to help me, but I waved them back. The next presenters were localw enforcement giving awards to exceptional and caringmunity members. I forced myself to concentrate on their heartfelt and real message as I stood near the beverage table. Only by concentrating on every word could I stop the room from doing wild swoops in my head. Rainer was not engaged? He was not going to marry Ellison? Instead of letting the weight of those questions knock me over, I grabbed another ss of wine. ¡°Can you believe he¡¯s here? I mean, when I first saw him I thought I was hallucinating.¡± A trio of women approached the beverage table. They spoke in quiet tones as the awards speeches continued, but I could hear every word. The taller woman nced at Rainer¡¯s table and said, ¡°You think he¡¯s going the charitable route or is this all a way to recover from his failed rtionship with Ellison Ramsey?¡± I finished my wine and got in line behind the women. ¡°Who cares,¡± the first woman said. ¡°If he¡¯s here alone, then I say he¡¯s fair game.¡± ¡°Janice, he¡¯s a yboy!¡± ¡°Exactly,¡± said Janice. I wanted to stop them and speak out on Rainer¡¯s behalf. It was clear from their admiring nces that it was my Rainer they were looking at. I stopped myself and took a step back. My Rainer? Why did I feel it was my job to tell them they had the wrong impression of him? Rainer¡¯s reputation, his rtionship status, and even his current work situation were none of my business. ¡°I hear he¡¯s not even that good of a businessman. His biggest windfall was all someone else¡¯s work,¡± Janice¡¯s friend said with a disapproving frown. ¡°As Rainer¡¯s colleague at Hyperion, I can assure you that is not true,¡± I told the trio of women. They stepped back with googly eyes and the volunteer server took that opportunity to hand me another ss of wine. ¡°Mr. Maxwell seems very nice to me,¡± the server said. I raised my ss to the young volunteer and then almost spilled the entire contents down my silk sundress. ¡°Berger! What are you doing sneaking up on me?!¡± Berger didn¡¯t bother to hide his wide grin. ¡°Just chipping away at the ice, you know,¡± he said. He waited until the gossipy women returned to their table. ¡°Though it seems like someone else has beaten me to it. Did I just hear you defending Rainer?¡± ¡°Are you crashing this awards dinner?¡± I asked Berger. He grinned again. ¡°I heard some of my old Hyperion cronies were in the vicinity, so I just had to stop by.¡± I narrowed my eyes at him but said, ¡°It¡¯s nice to see you stateside. Thest I heard you were off to Paris.¡± ¡°I was,¡± Berger said. ¡°And it was all cafe drinks and beautiful parties until the Ramseys came to town. Did you know that Ellison Ramsey not only speaks French but also Italian and even some Arabic? Shepletely blew me away at an art auction. I almost lost my whole fortune just to keep hearing her trante art titles for me.¡± I blinked, confused, until I saw Berger catch himself and turn self-consciously towards the beverage table. The volunteer server handed him a drink right away, but he took his time turning back around. ¡°So, how have things been here?¡± Berger asked. ¡°Not as exciting as an art auction with Ellison Ramsey,¡± I said. Berger¡¯s eyes flitted over to Rainer¡¯s table. ¡°She wasn¡¯t the only American society I saw.¡± ¡°Just the only one who mattered.¡± ¡°Now, wait, Tasha, don¡¯t get the wrong idea¡± I pressed a hand to Berger¡¯s rapidly beating heart. ¡°Don¡¯t worry; I won¡¯t say anything. Not that it matters, right? I mean, it¡¯s not like Ellison is spoken for or anything. Is it?¡± He shooed me back and brushed off his silk tie. ¡°It¡¯s just nice seeing familiar faces when you¡¯re overseas.¡± ¡°All right, fine,¡± I said, feeling better than I had all night. ¡°So, how do you like being home?¡± Berger was relieved to step back into his regr role. ¡°I¡¯m bored already. I don¡¯t know what you did to Rainer when you two worked together, but now he¡¯s all work, work, work. You managed to turn our best party boy into the most boring and responsible drone bee.¡± ¡°You¡¯re ming me?¡± I asked. ¡°Nothing else exins it. One day he¡¯s fine and nning pranks to y on the golf course. Then he signs on to your project. Next thing I know he¡¯s over in the East Bay doing all this good work, and he barely has time to grab a drink,¡± Bergerined. ¡°I don¡¯t see how that has anything to do with me,¡± I said. Berger chuckled and rubbed his hands together. ¡°Now the tables have turned.¡± ¡°Stop,¡± I said. ¡°Whatever wild spection you are going to makeup, I don¡¯t want to hear it. Rainer isn¡¯t the set-up to some bad joke. And I¡¯m not your punchline anymore.¡± All jest disappeared from Berger¡¯s eyes. ¡°That¡¯s what I was stopping by here to say. I¡¯m sorry that I did not appreciate your hard work more when we were at the samepany.¡± ¡°Wait, what?¡± I spoke too loudly, and a few people nced back at us. Berger sighed. ¡°The truth is that I got bored in Europe. All the parties and the jet-setting. I went all over but never seemed to be getting anywhere, you know?¡± ¡°You missed work,¡± I said. He nodded, almost embarrassed. ¡°And I figured that was your influence too. After all those days of watching you go, go, go, I just wasn¡¯t content to sit around.¡± A light bulb went on in my head. ¡°Well, maybe we should sit down during office hours and talk about what kind of work you¡¯d like to be doing.¡± Berger shook my hand and then the mischievous light sprang back into his eyes. ¡°I¡¯d love that, I really would. Now, I¡¯ve got to gofort my old bachelor friend. We¡¯ll talk soon, Tasha. Thank you.¡± I watched Berger weave his way through the tables and take the empty seat I had been tempted by. When Topher appeared by my side, I couldn¡¯t hide my thoughts. ¡°Should I have told Rainer congrattions? Isn¡¯t he still engaged to be married?¡± I asked. Topher shook his head, relieved to finally be able to speak on the subject. ¡°No! He was never even engaged in the first ce. And I know for a fact that he never ns on proposing to Ms. Ramsey at all.¡± Topher¡¯s answer was so decisive that I berated me for not asking months ago. Then it sank in: Rainer was single. Episode Eighty-Two Rainer¡¯s [POV] I instructed my driver to drop me off around the block, telling him I wanted to grab a coffee or some nonsense, and I waited until the sleek SUV disappeared before I started walking. Tasha¡¯s new office was in the center of downtown Oand. Businesses were slowly returning to the vibrant little city, and I was impressed that she had picked a ce with such a good vibe. There was a coffee shop in the lobby of her building, and I took a minute to review its menu of fresh-roasted coffee and artisanal chocte. A woman smiled at me over herptop, and I realized I was staring off into space. I was stalling. I edged down the block and entered the building¡¯s main lobby. Marble walls and gold leaf spoke to the building¡¯s historic status, and I was tempted to sit down and admire it. Instead, I opted to take the stairs to Tasha¡¯s top-floor offices. As I climbed, I wondered how on earth Tasha had convinced Stan to open up shop in such a neighborhood. He had deep San Francisco roots, and I didn¡¯t foresee him traveling across the bay every day. I pushed open the door on the top floor and got my answer: the newpany sign featured Tasha¡¯s name, which meant Stan was nning to retire. The receptionist nodded to me and then nced back with a widening smile. She smoothed down the front of her silk blouse and gave her lipstick a quick lick. ¡°Hello, I¡¯m Amber. Is there anything I can help you with?¡± I didn¡¯t know whether to be pleased or irritated. It had been nice staying out of the tabloids, but people still recognized me, especially in the business world. Either the receptionist was going to have to study names and faces better, or Tasha would find her a new position. ¡°Just admiring the view,¡± I said. I winked at the receptionist and then turned to look out therge arched windows. Oand traffic streamed past far below, and from the top floor, I could see Jack London Square. It was a view worth admiring, but I was stalling again. It was myst chance to head back to the elevators before someone I knew spotted me. What was I doing at Tasha¡¯s office anyway? If I was being honest, Tasha and I didn¡¯t know each other that well. Not well enough for a random drop-by. I could take the ¡®just in the neighborhood route, but I knew Tasha wouldn¡¯t fall for it. Thest thing I wanted to do was put her on edge or make her suspicious. It had taken me long enough to get past her suspicions the first time. ¡°Rainer Maxwell, good to see you,¡± a voice boomed. I turned around and had my hand crushed in a vice-like shake. ¡°Otto. I didn¡¯t expect to see you here,¡± I said. The former Hyperion head of security pped me on the shoulder and finally released my aching hand. ¡°I could say the same about you.¡± ¡°I¡¯m just wondering how Tasha got Stan Eastman to set up shop in Oand,¡± I said. Otto chuckled. ¡°Oh, he put up a fight. Though I think this was his n all along. You know he¡¯s retiring soon, right? I think all he wanted to do was encourage Ms. Nichols to find her way.¡± I followed Otto across the reception lobby and through the double doors to the outer offices. ¡°So, Tasha is the brains behind all of this.¡± Otto swelled with pride. ¡°She¡¯s a great boss. The good atmosphere here. I like it. You would too.¡± I stopped in the hallway. ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Nothing.¡± Otto shrugged, but his gaze was shrewd. ¡°You and Ms. Nichols made a good team.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to sound so shocked,¡± I said. Ottoughed again. ¡°I¡¯m serious. She wouldn¡¯t have been brave enough to salvage the GroGreen project if it hadn¡¯t been for you pushing her. And she wouldn¡¯t have gotten intomunity development. I¡¯ve been to see that garden, you know.¡± I nced away, not wanting him to see that I had juste from visiting the garden we helped nt. ¡°So, Tasha took you away from San Francisco, huh?¡± I asked. Otto snorted and led me toward the executive offices. ¡°Mr. Eastman insisted, with a very nice raise. Plus, I live over in Richmond and love the shortermute.¡± I sighed. ¡°All you East Bay people.¡± ¡°Bet you wouldn¡¯t mind ending up here yourself,¡± Otto said. He stopped and gave me another measuring look. ¡°Maybe there¡¯s another project Ms. Nichols could include you in.¡± ¡°No, no, I¡¯m not here looking for a job.¡± As soon as I said it, I knew it was the wrong thing to say. Otto¡¯s eyes gleamed with spection. ¡°Well, don¡¯t let me get in your way. Ms. Nichols¡¯ office is just over there.¡± I shook hands with the head of security again and then headed in the direction he pointed. The office was an open floor n with a swath of cubicles running dow n the center. The offices on the side were almost entirely walled in with ss to let in the light. Arge conference room dominated the far wall, nked on either side byrger executive offices. Tasha¡¯s was on the left with a dramatic backdrop of Oand towers and roofs behind it. She had pulled back the heavy linen curtains to allow the entire office to see inside. I was certain that watching Tasha put in a full day of work motivated every single person within sight. She was pacing back and forth while talking on her phone, and when she nced up, I froze. Her coppery hair caught the sunlight streaming through the windows. The sleek, dove-gray business suit she wore hugged her body in the way only tailor-made clothes could. She looked every inch the powerful CEO, and I would have felt better with a folder or report or something to show her. ¡°Rainer?¡± Berger hailed me from behind a cubicle. ¡°I thought that was you.¡± He wove around the cubicles and cut off my view of Tasha. I shook his hand. He continued to block my view of Tasha¡¯s office. ¡°So, no more jet-setting through Europe?¡± ¡°I got bored,¡± Berger said with a shrug. I crossed my arms over my chest. ¡°I doubt that. Didn¡¯t you see Ellison in Paris? I heard you were both there at the same time. She didn¡¯t have one hundred and one parties for you to attend?¡± Berger adjusted his tie and studied the pattern in it. ¡°I did see Ellison, but she was busy,¡± he said. ¡°I suppose her parties aren¡¯t your kind of thing and vice versa.¡± I tried to inch past Berger, but he was determined to chat. ¡°I attended as many as I could stand,¡± Berger said. ¡°But I don¡¯t think she noticed.¡± I blinked a few times in surprise. ¡°And you couldn¡¯t catch the notice of any other woman in France?¡± Berger looked relieved when a man in a in suit interrupted us. ¡°Mr. Berger here is your packet from HR. Please let me know if you have any questions. And congrattions again, sir.¡± The man hurried away back to work and Berger gave me a funny half-smile, half-cringe. ¡°You probably have a few questions, huh?¡± I watched the man race through the cubicles. ¡°First off, I want to know why he called you ¡®sir.¡¯ He must not know who you are.¡± Berger smacked me with his heavy packet of paperwork. ¡°I¡¯m getting all respectable now, and I me you,¡± he said. ¡°That can¡¯t be right. My reputation¡¯s still in the toilet.¡± ¡°That¡¯s part of it,¡± Berger said. ¡°I was sick of having a reputation of all talk and no substance. And I wasn¡¯t lying about the getting bored part. I missed work. That¡¯s why I me you and Tasha. She helped you make the transition into real, meaningful work and I was kinda hoping she would do the same for me.¡± I felt a bright re of jealousy and took a step straight toward Berger. ¡°So, why exactly are you here?¡± Berger held up both hands. ¡°Whoa. Just for a job. I came in only expecting a rmendation, but Tasha decided to take a chance on me. Professionally only.¡± I eyed him closely and finally uncrossed my arms. ¡°It¡¯s just strange you showing up at the awards dinner and now here. And now you¡¯re going to work for Tasha?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not like that. Totally the opposite. I¡¯m trying to make myself more respectable so I can catch someone else¡¯s attention. Not Tasha¡¯s. Not like that,¡± Berger exined. ¡°Tasha was the only one you talked to at the awards dinner.¡± I was having trouble letting go of my irritation. Berger scrubbed the back of his neck and tried to exin himself again. ¡°I can see how you might think I¡¯m after Tasha. I mean, I was in a way. I crashed the awards dinner because I didn¡¯t know when else I would see her. And I wanted to gauge how she felt about me before I asked for help getting a job.¡± ¡°And she was receptive?¡± My voice came out a growl. ¡°She was distracted.¡± Berger elbowed me in the ribs. ¡°And it wasn¡¯t easy tracking Tasha down. She is a seriously busy woman.¡± ¡°How did you find out she¡¯d be there?¡± I asked. ¡°Well, first I had to find your old, razor-sharp assistant. Topher is one cagey guy,¡± Berger said. The tension in my shoulders eased as the subject changed. ¡°Are you trying to tell me that Topher let slip his boss¡¯ private schedule? I would have thought you¡¯d have better luck swimming from here to Alcatraz.¡± Berger snorted. ¡°Yeah, it wasn¡¯t easy. I think he finally took pity on me. How did you manage to finagle the information out of him?¡± ¡°I was invited to that awards dinner.¡± I stood up straight and slipped my hands into my pockets. ¡°Right, because you make a habit of going to things like that,¡± Berger said. ¡°Just like you have a habit of dropping by old colleagues¡¯ new workces.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you have some paperwork to fill out?¡± I asked Berger. He gave a triumphantugh. ¡°Oh, now I¡¯m getting it. I¡¯m here for a job. Why are you visiting our Ms. Nichols?¡± ¡°How are we going to know the temperature of the market if I don¡¯t check in on the Ice Queen?¡± I asked. It was a low joke, back to the days at Hyperion when everyone made fun of Tasha behind her back. Berger did not respond to it with his usual bark ofughter. His smile froze into a crooked line, and suddenly he was much more interested in the nearest cubicle. I felt my stomach sink to the floor. During our conversation, Berger had turned me so my back was to Tasha¡¯s office. She had looked so busy and so focused as she talked on the phone that I had assumed she¡¯d be staying at her desk. I had also banked on her less-than-thrilled expression when she saw me buy me a few minutes to think up the perfect thing to say. Something casual but friendly. I hade to her new office to make her realize we could still get along. Now, I was afraid she hade out of her office just to overhear me talking the same kind of nonsense all the junior executives used to torture her with. Berger met my eyes, just barely. It was clear that Tasha was directly behind me, but there was no way out of thement I had made. ¡°She¡¯s behind me, isn¡¯t she?¡± I asked Berger. He nodded but said nothing. I sighed. ¡°She heard me sounding like a horse¡¯s ass, didn¡¯t she?¡± ¡°She did,¡± Tasha said. I spun around, but her expression was too hard to read. Berger found his voice again. ¡°We were just talking about how far you¡¯vee. We didn¡¯t make it easy on you, and Rainer was just remembering the awful jokes we used to make. Not even funny. Just bad.¡± He trailed off, and Topher swooped in to try to salvage the awkward situation.Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Mr. Maxwell, so good to see you again. I remember when you used to tell off all your colleagues about how they joked behind Ms. Nichols¡¯ back.¡± ¡°Are we in junior high school?¡± Tasha asked. Iughed, not knowing if she was making fun of us or not. ¡°We are, but not you. I can¡¯t even imagine what you must have been like in junior high school: hefty binder full of A+ schoolwork. . .¡± I trailed off to silence and stood between Berger and Topher looking sheepish. Tasha sighed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry to break up this little reunion, but I have a very busy day and there is a lot I need to do before my next meeting.¡± Topher brightened. ¡°I¡¯ll get you a coffee. Her niece was borntest night. Healthy baby girl¡± Episode Eighty-Three Rainer¡¯s [POV] Tasha held up one hand and cut off her assistant. ¡°A coffee would be nice. Berger, make sure you get those forms back to HR as soon as possible. Rainer, nice to see you again.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you mean strange?¡± I asked. ¡°As in, what is he doing just showing up at my office in the middle of a busy day?¡± Before Tasha could protest, I caught her by the arm and steered her back into her office. Shutting the door behind me did little to block the curious eyes all around the office, but I knew pulling the curtains would look terrible. Instead, I tried to stand casually at the same time as guarding the door. I didn¡¯t want Tasha to leave until I had a chance to talk with her. ¡°What do you want, Rainer?¡± Tasha asked. She crossed her arms and the entire office could tell she had no patience left for me at all. ¡°I just, I just can¡¯t stop thinking about you.¡± The truth blurted out on a wave of panic. ¡°And I¡¯m wondering if you managed to get me out of your system because I could use a few pointers on how to do the same.¡± Tasha¡¯s face almost cracked a rueful smile. ¡°You came all the way here just to remind me of that? Rainer, I¡¯m starting to worry that you have nothing else going on in your life.¡± ¡°Ouch,¡± I said. ¡°Still, I¡¯m here confessing to you that you are all I think about. How am I supposed to stop that?¡± Tasha nced at her fishbowl office and then moved around to sit behind her desk. I watched as she carefully folded her hands together before she looked up to answer me. ¡°I think the best thing is to move forward. Don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°I am moving forward. Work is going great for me, by the way. I mean, I can see that you¡¯ve moved on to bigger and better things, but I want you to know that your little experiment didn¡¯t work for me. I can¡¯t get you out of my system.¡± Tasha gave a frustrated growl at the same time her pleasant smile never faltered. ¡°For God¡¯s sake, Rainer, you know there is more to rtionships than just sex. Right?¡± I caught the back of one of her visitor chairs before I fell over. ¡°Rtionship?¡± She scowled. ¡°See? Even the word makes you act all funny. That¡¯s because all we had was sex. And that¡¯s over. And since we never had and never will have a rtionship, this conversation is over.¡± I crossed my arms and refused to leave. ¡°So, what¡¯s the difference? What would make a rtionship out of this mess?¡± I asked. Tasha leaned back in her desk chair and gritted her teeth. ¡°I¡¯m busy here, Rainer. You came to my workce. Figure out what rtionships are on your own time.¡± ¡°Rtionships include lots of time together, seeing the person in different venues, and getting to know what they are like outside the office. Remember themunity garden? Your neighborhood? And pics lunches? We had some good times, Tasha.¡± I leaned both hands on her desk and met her skeptical eyes. ¡°That was work.¡± ¡°Fine, would you like to head over to ourmunity garden and have a pic lunch?¡± I asked. Tasha stood up and tugged her tailored suit coat down. ¡°Rai ner, I¡¯m working. And if you can¡¯t ept the fact that my career is more important than your impromptu idea for a pic, then you need to leave right now.¡± ¡°And what would I have to do to stay?¡± I asked. She marched to her door but paused before she opened it. ¡°Here¡¯s something you probably don¡¯t know about rtionships: you have to support the other person. So, you either support my career in full and the time I need to dedicate to it, or you leave me alone.¡± I strolled right up to Tasha and smiled. ¡°So, we¡¯re not just friends then?¡± Tashaughed despite herself, but then she pulled open her ss office door and ushered me out. ¡± There¡¯s no ¡®we.''¡± ¡°But there could be,¡± I said. Even as she shut the ss door in my face, I had hope. The hint of pink on her cheeks and the way she chewed back a smile made me think my trip to her office hadn¡¯t been a total disaster. I headed through the rows of cubicles, reviewing the entire visit in my head. Running into Otto had started things off so well. Even he thought Tasha and I made a great team. Seeing Berger had been a shock and I could easily me him for throwing me off my game. The truth, though, was that the surge of jealousy I felt had knocked me back. When Berger talked about seeking out Tasha, I felt every fiber in my body shouting that she should be with me. Then Tasha talked about rtionships. Sure, it was supposed to just be a way to shut me up, but it gave me hope. Maybe there was something I could give Tasha. I was so ted by that possibility that I didn¡¯t see Stan until I almost ran him over. My former boss stood his ground even though I stopped a scant four inches from him. ¡°Mr. Eastman, it¡¯s great to see you again,¡± I said. Stan looked at my offered hand and pursed his lips. ¡°A word, Rainer?¡± ¡°In your office?¡± I hesitated because I didn¡¯t want to push my luck with Tasha. He looked up and down the ss-walled offices and shook his head. ¡°In here is fine.¡± I followed Stan toward the elevator lobby. It turned out that the only room in Tasha¡¯s bright office that didn¡¯t have ss walls was the copy room. Stan shut the door firmly behind us. ¡°Whoa, wait. I respect you a lot, Stan, I really do, but I¡¯m not in the market for one of your mentoring lectures right now,¡± I said. Stan surprised me with augh. ¡°I¡¯m not going to lecture you, Rainer. I was going to congratte you on your persistence.¡± I shook his hand but had no idea what he was talking about. ¡°My persistence? I¡¯m not looking for a job. Is that why you think I¡¯m here?¡± ¡°No, son, that¡¯s not why I think you¡¯re here. Do you even know why you¡¯re here?¡± Stan asked. ¡°Networking?¡± Stan chuckled again. ¡°You know, you remind me an awful lot of me at your age. Incorrigible. Loud-mouthed. Charming. Clueless about everything but how to spin business in your favor.¡± ¡°I am not loud-mouthed,¡± I said. Then I remembered how Tasha overheard me and I cringed. ¡°All right. So, we¡¯re a lot alike. How is this not turning into a mentoring lecture?¡± ¡°Think of it more like a rescue mission,¡± Stan said. ¡°I saw your conversation with Tasha. The whole office did.¡± I crossed my arms. ¡°I don¡¯t need rescuing. Or are you talking about rescuing Tasha from me? Am I so terrible?¡± ¡°Ellison Ramsey didn¡¯t seem to think so,¡± Stan said. ¡°I was not ever, nor will I be, engaged to Ellison Ramsey,¡± I said loudly. ¡°I haven¡¯t dated or been out with anyone since.¡± Stan raised his eyebrows. ¡°Since?¡± ¡°Since working at Hyperion,¡± I finished. ¡°Son, everyone at Hyperion, and now everyone here, can tell that you can¡¯t and won¡¯t leave Tasha alone.¡± Stan gave me aforting chuck on the shoulder. ¡°Now, what I want to know is what you¡¯re going to do about that?¡± I frowned at the older man, annoyed that he saw right through me, and was amused by what he saw. ¡°So, you want to give me rtionship advice?¡± ¡°God, no,¡± Stan said. ¡°I¡¯ve been divorced more times than you¡¯ve ever seen Tasha. All I¡¯m trying to do is to tell you not to give up.¡± ¡°Tasha all but told me to give up,¡± I said. Stan sighed. ¡°Of course she did. Tasha¡¯s got a lot of territory to defend. Her career means a lot to her and anyone wanting a rtionship is going to have toe to terms with that. And, she¡¯s been hurt before, so her rtionships are high risk. You got to make it worth her while.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t bribe someone into falling in love with me.¡± The word ¡®love¡¯ seemed to fill the small copy room. ¡°Tell you what.¡± Stan rummaged in his suit coat pocket. ¡°The first thing you can do is admit just how much you love Tasha.¡± ¡°And what¡¯s the second thing?¡± I asked. Stan handed me a ck envelope with silver piping. ¡°You cane to my retirement party. A very exclusive get-together if I do say so myself.¡± ¡°So, you are retiring and letting Tasha take over?¡± I whistled a low note of appreciation.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. ¡°That¡¯s huge. And that¡¯s going to be one hell of a party.¡± ¡°Good,¡± Stan said. ¡°It¡¯s settled. You¡¯lle to my retirement party, have the time of your life, and when the time is right, you¡¯ll tell Tasha exactly how you feel.¡± I leaned against the copier to keep from falling to the floor. ¡°I¡¯m going to do what now?¡± ¡°You have to show Tasha that you are all in. Make a big scene, let everyone know.¡± I crossed my arms over my chest. ¡°And what if she hates the public scene? What if she hates me?¡± ¡°You¡¯re never going to know unless you do it,¡± Stan said. ¡°You make it sound so easy.¡± I opened the door to the copy room and nced around cautiously. Thest thing I needed was for Tasha to see me sneaking meetings with her mentor. ¡°I¡¯lle to your party, but I¡¯m not making any promises.¡± ¡°Seriously, Rainer, you should listen to an old man. Besides,¡± Stan followed me out into the elevator lobby, ¡°myvish retirement party will be a much better backdrop than some restaurant. I think it might inspire you.¡± He pped me on the back and walked away before I could ask him what exactly he thought I would need the perfect backdrop for. Episode Eighty-Four Rainer Then Tasha I almost stood up in the limousine, fumbling to pull my phone from my back pocket. My head bumped the ceiling and pushed a fuzzy wave across my hair. I swore out loud while I smoothed my hair back in ce. The driver nced back in concern as he had a dozen times during our short trip. I couldn¡¯t sit still, but I forced myself back into my seat. Deep breathing didn¡¯t help. I looked down at my phone and realized my hands were sweaty. My phone ttered to the floor of the limousine, and the driver looked back again, his forehead furrowed between the eyes. I couldn¡¯t me him. It was the weekend and we were heading to a retirement party. For all he knew, I was in for a long night of flowing champagne, expensive entertainment, and crowds of people in their best dress. My tuxedo felt too tight, and I tugged at the cor. ¡°Could you turn the air up?¡± I asked the worried driver. A st of cool air hit me just as my phone rang. I saw it was my older brother, Evan, and I left the phone on the floor, ring at it. I couldn¡¯t even handle a short car ride; how was I supposed to put up with my brother? The screen on my phone went dark, and I tried to breathe some relief. Itsted eight seconds before my phone red again, and I saw it was my father calling this time. I scrambled to pick up the phone and retain a little dignity for the driver¡¯s sake. ¡°Yes?¡± I answered. ¡°Is that any way to answer your phone?¡± my father asked. ¡°It could have been worse,¡± I told him. ¡°Rainer, I had hoped that by now you would know the Maxwell name is something more than the asional portrayal. This is your life, our legacy.¡± I cut my father off there. ¡°This is my life, and I think I¡¯ve done a damn good job so far.¡± My father sucked a breath of air through his teeth. ¡°I don¡¯t know why you insist on being so difficult.¡± ¡°Difficult? How about I¡¯ve done everything you ever asked? The Maxwell imperative has been answered unless you don¡¯t think my billion-dor bottom line is good enough.¡± I swiped sweat from my forehead and squirmed in my seat. ¡°Listen, Father, I can¡¯t talk now.¡± ¡°No, you shouldn¡¯t talk now,¡± my father barked. ¡°I didn¡¯t call to lecture you or any of the half dozen other things I¡¯m sure you use me of. I called to give you my blessing.¡± I leaned back against the leather seat and thought I might be having a heart attack. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, your blessing?¡± My father gave a lowugh. ¡°Do you think I don¡¯t keep tabs on my children? I would have been delighted with Ellison Ramsey, but I believe that Tasha Nichols is a better match for you.¡± ¡°What do you know about Tasha?¡± I asked. ¡°I know that despite her parents passing too soon, Tasha is a focused and hard-working woman. I have the utmost respect for a self-made entrepreneur, and she has certainly proven herself to be a sess.¡± My father cleared his throat, unused to giving anyone such open praise. ¡°Perhaps she will be an inspiration to you.¡± ¡°She¡¯s more than what you¡¯ve read in the business section,¡± I snapped. My father¡¯s silence slid right under my skin. ¡°Tasha Nichols is not only sessful, but she also¡¯s generous, and funny, and grounded,¡± ¡°You¡¯re in love with her.¡± My father finished for me. I pinched the bridge of my nose. ¡°Maybe we can continue this conversation over a pint of ice cream in our pajamas sometimes, but I¡¯m on my way somewhere,¡± I said. ¡°I know. Give Stan my congrattions on his retirement,¡± my father said. ¡°And good luck, Rainer. I hope she says yes.¡± My phone went dark and I stared at the reflective screen. I¡¯d gotten a fresh haircut, shaved carefully, and put on a new tuxedo, but I still looked haggard. What if Tasha had gotten me out of her system? I could have read all the signs wrong. ¡°Call for you, sir,¡± my driver said. He put the caller on speaker inside the limousine. ¡°Where are you?¡± Berger asked.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. I nced out the window and saw Stan¡¯s estate looming up like a glowing skyline all to itself. He lived in a mansion that would have made Gatsby jealous, and the limousine slowed to wait for the immense gates to open. ¡°Pulling into the driveway now,¡± I said. ¡°Good because your crew here are not the most subtle yers. Either we pull off this n soon or someone is going to crack. Stan is grinning like an idiot,¡± Berger said. ¡°It¡¯s his retirement party, shouldn¡¯t he be that happy?¡± I asked. ¡°Not this happy. People are starting to suspect something.¡± Berger held the phone away from him and had a muffled conversation with someone. ¡°All right, Rainer. We¡¯re all set. Are you?¡± ¡°This is a terrible idea,¡± I said. ¡°We should call it off.¡± ¡°Oh, no you don¡¯t. No chickening out now,¡± Berger said. ¡°What if I just don¡¯t get out of the car?¡± I asked. The limousine slid in front of the curved front steps. Before it could stop, the door next to me was wrenched open. Berger leaned down, the phone still to his ear, andughed at me. ¡°You¡¯re getting out of the car,¡± he said. I only got out to stand toe-to-toe with Berger. ¡°You can¡¯t tell me you think this is going to work. This is the dumbest thing I¡¯ve ever done. Why did I let you talk me into this?¡± Berger shook his head. ¡°You¡¯re the one that talked me into it. And a half dozen other people. So, there¡¯s no way out now.¡± I nced back at the open limousine door longingly. ¡°She¡¯s going to turn me down. I¡¯m just setting myself up to look like a fool.¡± ¡°Tasha will love that,¡± Berger said. He shoved me towards the front steps and shut the limousine door. I watched my escape drive away and had no choice but to climb the red-carpeted front steps and enter Stan¡¯svish retirement party. The n was simple: friends would funnel Tasha towards the back portico, and once there I would somehow convince her to take me seriously. If I managed that major feat, then all I had to do was put my heart and reputation on the line by kneeling and asking her to marry me in front of a fullwn of our friends and colleagues. No wonder I felt light-headed. Then I reached the top step and ran full-on into Tasha. She teetered back on her high heels, and I caught her arm to steady her. The sh of heat between us was almost enough to burn off my doubts, but then I saw the cool look in Tasha¡¯s eyes. ¡°Hello, Rainer,¡± she said. ¡°You look gorgeous,¡± I mumbled. Her cocktail gown was an iridescent blue that shifted like the light across a pearl. Thin straps slipped across her creamy skin, leaving the smooth expanse of her shoulders bare. It took everything I had to let her go. Tasha stood stiffly in front of me, waiting for me to make a polite conversation, but I couldn¡¯t trust myself. The whole n felt like it wasing apart at the seams, but Otto swooped in to save me. ¡°Ms. Nichols, there you are. I know you¡¯re trying to enjoy yourself, but Stan asked if you would be his number two. There¡¯s a bit of a flow issue through the main hall and I was hoping you could help,¡± Otto said. Tasha looked relieved and let Otto guide her away. I stood watching them go, my heart flopping around like a gasping fish. Would she even want me to propose? ¡°You¡¯re not backing out now,¡± Berger said. He appeared at my elbow and caught my arm in an iron grip. ¡°I don¡¯t want to say it, but you¡¯re my inspiration. If this doesn¡¯t work, then I¡¯m going to assume there¡¯s no hope for me.¡± ¡°I thought Ellison invited you to sit at her table at the country club,¡± I said. Berger smiled but shook his head. ¡°We¡¯re not talking about me now. What we¡¯re going to do is follow the n.¡± We moved through the morous crowd sipping cocktails and caught sight of Tasha in the main hall. She finished solving Otto¡¯s imagined problems with her usual efficiency and was about to veer off course when n Reynolds intercepted her. The recreation director greeted her with a fatherly hug. His huge grin was not out of character, but Tasha seemed suspicious anyway. When he started guiding her through the main hall to the ballroom, I thought she might stop and confront him. ¡°I think I went about this all wrong,¡± I told Berger. ¡°She¡¯s going to think I manipted her.¡± ¡°Rx,¡± Berger said as he bopped from foot to foot. ¡°Yeah, because you look so calm,¡± I said. Bergerughed. ¡°Well, my part ising up next. Are you ready? Can I leave you or are you going to try to run back out the front door?¡± I watched Tasha smile and promenade with Reynolds. It didn¡¯t matter if I made a mess of things; Tasha was worth it. And I promised myself that if she said no, I would spend the rest of my life trying to figure out how to change her mind. ¡°I¡¯m up,¡± Berger said. He whacked me on the back and disappeared into the crowd. I caught a waiter and ordered a very stiff drink. Then I slipped farther through the crowd so I could watch which way Tasha went. n Reynolds gave her a tight hug that left her bemused, but before she could think through his obvious excitement, Berger swept in front of her. The first thing out of his mouth made herugh despite herself. From there, it was a series of exasperated smiles and eye rolls. He started pulling her towards the high French doors at the back of the ballroom, and I knew it was time for me to take my ce. ¡°All ready, sir?¡± ¡°Topher, Jesus,¡± I cried, startling the party-goers around me. ¡°You scared the hell out of me.¡± Topher grinned. ¡°I¡¯m not sure I¡¯m the reason you¡¯re so jumpy, but I apologize. I¡¯m just so excited.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not jumpy,¡± I said with no real conviction. Topher dug in his pockets and produced a small, ck velvet box. ¡°The jeweler assures me the size will work. It¡¯s a stunning ring, Rainer.¡± I snatched the box out of his hands and stuffed it in my pocket. The few party-goers crushed closest to us had started to eavesdrop with great interest. ¡°Can we just get on with the n? If it¡¯s going to fail, I¡¯d rather it was before all the alcohol is gone.¡± Topher waited for me to m my drink and then lead the way through a series of side rooms. We stopped at the door to the portico, and Topher delighted in peeking out like we were in a spy movie. ¡°Does she look suspicious?¡± I asked. ¡°Um, no, everything¡¯s fine,¡± Topher lied. I flung open the door and walked onto the portico to see for myself. Tasha was fending off Berger and looking worried. She kept ncing around her as if someone was going to prank her from behind. I watched, frozen, as she skirted past Berger and almost made it back inside the mansion. Stan caught her at the French doors and turned her around. He kept an arm tight around her shoulders as they strolled back into ce. ¡°See? Everything¡¯s fine.¡± Topher sighed in relief. I tried to catch my breath. It was now or never. Episode Eighty-Five I thought I could handle the party without any problems, but a few minutes in the door and I was already panicking. Running into Rainer on the front steps had felt like the keys turning in the ignition of a car I wasn¡¯t driving. My heart raced along, my eyes sweeping the crowd to see him, and I couldn¡¯t believe I was so quickly out of control. It wasn¡¯t as if I hadn¡¯t seen Rainer in thest few weeks. He seemed to pop up everywhere, and I had gotten used to the sudden moments we shared. Once I caught sight of his fancy sports car at the little hotel in my hometown. I could have passed without seeing him, but I peeked in the windows and saw him sitting alone at a table. He imed his work friend had just left. Two dayster, he happened to be grabbing lunch at the same restaurant as me. When my lunch meeting fell through, we had a long meal together. I hadn¡¯t gone more than four days without seeing him, so I couldn¡¯t understand why tonight felt so different. I tried to tell myself it was because we were all dressed up. Rainer looked like a heartthrob straight off the movie screen in his ck tuxedo. His hair was mussed, but all it did was give him a human appeal. It made me want to tangle my hands in it as we kissed. . . I jolted myself out of the daydream and tried to concentrate on what Berger was saying. It didn¡¯t seem to matter if I was listening as Berger was talking at high speed. His oddly excited behavior made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. What was I missing? I couldn¡¯t help but think this was some sort of hazing opportunity. I waspletely exposed on the back portico. The luxurious greenwn swept up and away from the portico like a wide amphitheater, and I felt like I was in view. As Berger continued to chatter, I got the idea he was going to prank me. It would be just like Stan to have to pull one more thing over on his protege before he retired for good. ¡°Berger, I¡¯m sorry, but I¡¯m going to head back inside and make sure Stan doesn¡¯t need my help,¡± I said. He tried to block my way, but the look I gave him made him stand down. I almost made it through the French doors before Stan himself caught me and steered me back outside. ¡°Isn¡¯t it a beautiful night?¡± Stan asked. ¡°Are you drunk?¡± Stan chuckled and threw an arm around my shoulders. ¡°Not yet, my dear, but it feels like a good night to celebrate, doesn¡¯t it?¡± I tried to shrug his arm off. ¡°Why are you so cheerful? Shouldn¡¯t you beining about the buzzards circling the dead body of your career?¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m d to be giving it up. It¡¯s all a game for the young, you allospecific. Now that your career is on a high trajectory, I can sit back and enjoy the simple things,¡± Stan said. I gestured to thevish silk banners and delicate crystalnterns that decorated the immense facade of his mansion. ¡°The simple things? Like what?¡± ¡°How about young love?¡± Stan asked. I stopped short and rooted my high heels to the ground. ¡°Now I know something is wrong, Stan. Tell me what¡¯s going on. Are you dying?¡± Stan hooted withughter. ¡°No! I might be old, but at least I¡¯m young at heart. You, on the other hand, need to let a little more love in your life.¡± ¡°Oh, God, not more dating advice. Please, Stan, can we just enjoy your retirement party?¡± I shivered, still convinced my colleagues were about to haze me. Then I saw Rainer, and it was the rest of the party that turned hazy. It wasn¡¯t the elegant and sexy cut of his tuxedo or the way his dark hair shone under thenterns. It was his electric blue eyes as they locked onto me. In that one nce, I saw worry, hope, and something that lit a fire deep in my belly. Or at least I thought I did. It had been weeks since Rainer even mentioned our private interlude on Berger¡¯s yacht. I wondered if his passion for me had finally waned, and I couldn¡¯t me him. I had done everything I could to bury it, hide it away, and now I was afraid it would light me up like a bonfire. I wanted Rainer. More than that, the few weeks of seeing him here and there had cemented in my mind how much I loved having him around. I loved him, and I couldn¡¯t imagine he would return my feelings. I wondered only briefly how Rainer had gotten to the back portico from the front steps without me seeing him pass by.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Then I saw Otto gently shooing party-goers off the portico and onto thewn. The crowd thinned between Rainer and me. Finally, Stan squeezed me and then stepped back. ¡°Is this a prank?¡± I asked Rainer. He blew out a tense breath and tried to smile. ¡°No,¡± he said. ¡°This is a proposal.¡± Rainer dropped to one knee, and with the wholevish party, full of our friends and colleagues, as a backdrop, he asked me to marry him. ¡°And all I ask is that youe home to me,¡± Rainer said. ¡°After you work, after you aplish everything you want, I¡¯ll be there for you, if you let me.¡± Epilogue Tasha¡¯s [POV] Sometimes in the middle of work, the entire scene washed over me. Like a tsunami, it knocked everything else out of the way. The wide window of my downtown Oand office disappeared and I found myself standing on Stan¡¯s portico again. Rainer was on one knee, his words so soft and stressed that I had to lean forward and down to hear him. Then I reeled back, not believing I had heard him right. Rainer had to shuffle forward across the bricks to catch my hand and try to convince me he was serious. What caught me was his sincere offer to always be there when I came home. No other expectations, no other old-fashioned notions of marriage, just me pursuing my career anding home each night to find him there for me. After I said yes, Rainerunched from the bricks and caught me up in his arms. Instead of the molten kiss I expected, he lifted me high in the air and spun me around until the twinklingnterns and lights of Stan¡¯s mansion flowed into bright circles. And then we kissed. I leaned back in my office chair, ready to draw the warmth of that memory around me like a nket. ¡°Ms. Nichols?¡± Topher stood in the doorway, and when I spotted him, I jumped out of my chair. ¡°What? I mean, I¡¯m here. What do you need?¡± My assistant gave me a funny little smile. ¡°I tried buzzing twice, but you didn¡¯t answer, so I knocked.¡± I smoothed down my suit. ¡°I was just deep in thought. Business, of course.¡± ¡°Of course,¡± Topher said. ¡°Though it would be very helpful if you set aside some time to think about a wedding date.¡± ¡°Yes, yes, of course.¡± I shuffled papers needlessly on my desk. ¡°Rainer and I have been meaning to discuss it. We just keep getting, ah, distracted.¡± Topher held up his hand. ¡°No need to exin. I have a few suggestions if it would be helpful.¡± ¡°Helpful for you?¡± I asked my eager assistant. He nodded emphatically. ¡°How am I supposed to n the perfect wedding if I don¡¯t even know what season it will be?¡± ¡°Fine, yes. As soon as these projects are a little further along, I will sit down with Rainer and we will choose a wedding date,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s just a little bit moreplicated than I expected.¡± ¡°How so?¡± Topher asked. He pursed his lips, unable to hide the irritation he felt at not being able to n. I couldn¡¯t very well tell my assistant that every time Rainer and I sat down to talk about our wedding we ended up in a passionate tangle. It was hard to think about giving that up in exchange for a mound of details such as what kind of fish we should serve at some overblown reception. ¡°Well, you of all people should know that I can¡¯tpromise work at this point in my career. Things are still just getting off the ground here, and I can¡¯t lose focus.¡± I sat down again, faced myputer, and couldn¡¯t remember what I had been working on before falling into a daydream. ¡°I can put in the extra hours, Tasha. Or you can hire a wedding nner. It doesn¡¯t have to be a bother,¡± Topher reminded me. Episode Eighty-Six Tasha¡¯s [POV] ¡°I know, it¡¯s just that I¡¯m not sure Rainer is ready for such a structure. Can you imagine him going to taste cakes and pick out chair covers?¡± I asked. The thought made me shudder. It was enough that Rainer had agreed toe live with me in the white house overlooking the three bridges. I didn¡¯t want to push for more when we were still trying to figure out how to be happy together. ¡°Now, I¡¯ve wasted enough time as it is. I need to get these reports finished before I present everything to the board. Please hold my calls,¡± I told Topher. He opened the door to return to his desk and was bowled back by Rainer. ¡°Surprise!¡± Rainer said with a smile. ¡°My volunteer shift at themunity center ended sooner than I thought. So, I thought I¡¯d swing by and take my lovely fiancee out to lunch.¡± I felt like a big, wet, wool nket dropped over me. I hadn¡¯t been joking about the reports and the presentation to the board. If my daydreaming hadn¡¯t distracted me, I could have been done. But, now, I had to tell Rainer that I didn¡¯t have time for him. Would he regret choosing someone who always picked their career over him? I kissed him and felt like crying. ¡°I¡¯d love to, I¡¯d love to have lunch with you, but I can¡¯t,¡± I said. ¡°Please don¡¯t be mad. I¡¯m just figuring out how to manage my time, and things will get better. I promise.¡± Rainer nodded for Topher to step out of my office and then he took both my hands. ¡°Tasha, I don¡¯t know why you keep hesitating about getting married. I told you that I have no problem supporting your career, but I guess I have to prove it to you.¡± ¡°No.¡± I caught Rainer¡¯s face in both hands. ¡°I need to prove to you how much I love you, and how much I appreciate you. I¡¯ll have Topher reschedule my presentation.¡± Rainer shook his head. ¡°I¡¯m not going to let you do that, but I am going to help you with those reports. Remember, I wasn¡¯t useless when we worked together.¡± ¡°But what about lunch?¡± I asked. ¡°Taken care of,¡± Rainer called for Topher and my assistant reappeared with a loaded pic basket. ¡°It may not be our little hill above themunity garden, but it¡¯s good enough for me.¡± I watched through blurred eyes as Rainer spread out a nket on the floor of my office. Topher raced out the door and returned with arge blooming tree in an enormous nter. ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± I asked Rainer. ¡°I brought the garden to you,¡± Rainer said. ¡°Happy?¡± I threw my arms around him. ¡°More than you know.¡± ¡°Well, you can tell me,¡± Rainer said, ¡°after we finish those reports.¡± BILLIONAIRE¡¯S VACATION Christian¡¯s [POV] I tapped my fingers against the edge of the couch as I waited for them to finish the final sound check and whatever other misceneous things they were doing. I thought that they would get all that done while I was still in hair and wardrobe, but apparently, they weren¡¯t aware of how valuable my time was. I should have charged them extra. ¡°All right, I think we¡¯re ready,¡± Kelly, the interviewer, said, dropping into a seat to my left and giving me a winning smile. As though she needed a smile like that with legs like those. I watched as she carefully crossed her long, tanned, muscr limbs in front of her and carefully arranged her navy skirt. When she leaned toward me, clearly trying to appear friendly for the cameras, I caught a glimpse of acy, ck bra beneath her gray shirt. Maybe she wasn¡¯t quite as straightced and prim as she appeared to be. I smiled back at her, albeit more predatorily than anything else. I was so going to bag her by the end of the night no doubt. No woman could resist me for too long, though the small portion of the chase was most of the fun. ¡°All right, everyone, we¡¯re life in three, two, one!¡± ¡°Rolling!¡± Kelly turned toward the cameras, giving her viewers her ssic grin. She was a pretty girl, no doubt. Half the reason the viewers watched her was because she reminded them of who they wanted to be. Young. Sessful. Sexy. ¡°All right, everyone, we¡¯re here on The Latest, bringing you the best in entertainment interviews and gossip. And tonight, we have a very special guest for you: Christian Wall!¡± There was pping from the studio audience, and even though I hated interviews like this, I forced a charming smile on my face. Time to put on my best facade and give them what they wanted. Sounded like the cadence of my life story. The thing was, even though I wasn¡¯t the sole owner of Sunrise Real Estate, I was the face of thepany. I loved working press conferences, and I loved going out and talking to people who were looking to buy houses and helping them find their dream homes. I¡¯d had the chance to be on several reality TV shows where I helped sell homes to couples looking in various cities that we operated in, and that was always worth all the fuss. But the entertainment ones were always a bit trickier. I¡¯d have to be careful not to let Kelly trip me up. I knew the kinds of things that had been in the news about metely, things that were making everyone, even Paul, a bit frustrated. ¡°So, Christian, as you probably know, the main reason that I¡¯ve asked you here today is that you have recently been named the hottest bachelor in the United States. Can we just start with a talk about that title?¡± She smiled, but it didn¡¯t reach her eyes. I couldn¡¯t help but wonder how many other people in the world were walking around, faking happiness. Iughed a little, shaking my head. ¡°Well, it¡¯s of course very ttering,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve heard about guys getting named the hottest bachelor in their city or things like that, but I thought Mr. USA had to be a model!¡± Kelly gave me a smirking once-over and looked out toward the audience. ¡°I don¡¯t know about the rest of you, but if Christian here isn¡¯t fit to be a model, then I don¡¯t know who is! I¡¯d say it¡¯s only a matter of time before they have you up on underwear ads around the city.¡± ¡°You wish, maybe!¡± I said, even though I was inwardly rolling my eyes. Sure, I was hot enough to be up on those sorts of ads, and what I did with my personal life had always been, I held, no one¡¯s business except for my own. However, she did have to realize that for all the other things that had made it into the news, I did have some professional reputation that I needed to uphold. Not many young husbands would feelfortable buying a house from someone they knew their wives were wanking to. It was disturbing, and yet a little hot. ¡°From what I hear in the newstely, there are other ways to get the great Christian Wall down to his underwear,¡± Kelly said, a gleam in her eyes, and of course that was where she had been heading with that remark. I might have seen that oneing. I cut her off with my canned response before she could mention the whole underwear incident. It had been a stupid bet with one of my friends, fueled by way too much alcohol. We¡¯d been out at this bar, and girls had been stripping their shirts off so that guys would do body shots of them. Originally, I¡¯d ended up on the table with just my shirt off, but then one thing had led to another, and there had been these two sexy Swedish girls practically fucking me right there on the floor, their hands trailing everywhere. Someone had gotten a shot of me stripped down to my ck boxer briefs andid out on a table for them to do body shots off of me. That photo had proceeded to be picked up by seemingly every entertainment source in the world. It wasn¡¯t my finest moment by far, but one that everyone seemed to cling to as if they had nothing better to do. It was one of the incidences that had made Paul a bit exasperated. Or maybe more than a bit. But I couldn¡¯t just tell Kelly to fuck off. Instead, I smiled at her. ¡°If you¡¯re suggesting that we go out to dinner on Friday night, I¡¯m afraid I¡¯m already taken,¡± I told her. ¡°I¡¯ve recently started seeing someone. It¡¯s nothing too serious now, but I¡¯m not sure how much longer I¡¯ll be the hottest bachelor in the U. S., unfortunately!¡± ¡°Oh?¡± Kelly asked, arching an eyebrow at me. It was total bullshit unless you counted this thing that I had going on with this girl Megan, but that was more of a 2 a. m. drunken thing than anything else. I wasn¡¯t about to quit being a bachelor anytime soon. ¡°But the parties aren¡¯t going to stop, are they?¡± Kelly pressed. ¡°It seems like you¡¯ve been at all the red-carpet eventstely; it seems like you and Jamie Michaels are getting pretty chummy, hmm?¡± ¡°Jamie¡¯s a great guy,¡± I told her. ¡°I was lucky enough to meet him on a ski tripst winter in the Alps; we started at Meribel, but at the end of the week, neither of us was ready to go back to the grind.¡± Iughed a little. ¡°Fortunately, I could get some work done remotely, and off we headed to Italy for a second week in Cortina. He¡¯s an amazing skier and a great guy.¡± ¡°Some people might say that you have a little too much fun sometimes,¡± Kelly said. ¡°Tell us what you think about that. Is life just supposed to be fun and games for some and toil and work for others?¡± I shrugged and smiled disarmingly at her. ¡°I¡¯m not too sure about what life is supposed to be about, or if you could put it into one or two words.¡± I shrugged. ¡°But as far as my crazy life, you know what they say. Boys will be boys. And especially for Jamie and I, who have ess to some of the best toys in the world, from snowmobiles to dirt bikes and more, yeah, we¡¯re going to have a ton of fun. Of course, we¡¯re always safe with them, and we haven¡¯t dropped off the globe like we did during the ski tour. For me, things have been busy around the office as people book theirst-minute summer vacation homes and start looking ahead to next winter. And Jamie¡¯s working on shooting histest movie.¡± ¡°Any details you can share about that?¡± She wagged her eyebrows. Iughed. ¡°Jamie¡¯s close-mouthed about it,¡± I told her, and that one wasn¡¯t a lie.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. ¡°You probably know more about it than I do!¡± ¡°We wish!¡± She nced toward the cameras as if including the audience in her ¡®we.¡¯ ¡°Christian, one more question before we let you go: any details you can give us about this mystery woman who has captured your interest?¡± I mimed zipping my lips and throwing away the key,ughing at the noises of protest from many of the female audience members. ¡°A gentleman never kisses and tells,¡± I said, holding up my hands. ¡°Anyway, I believe in true love and all of that. I¡¯d hate to think that I jinxed things by getting too far ahead of myself.¡± ¡°Aw, that¡¯s sweet,¡± Kelly said. She looked back out at the audience and began to introduce the next segment of the show; I gave a little sigh of relief, keeping the smile stered on my face, and tuning her out. Episode Eighty-Seven Christian¡¯s [POV] Despite all the talk about this woman who I was supposedly seeing, I didn¡¯t even have to try to take her home that night. She would entertain me for the night, or a bit of it, for sure. The way she subtly eye-fucked me before the interview gave me full assurance. I was fucking her within an inch of her lifeter. I walked off stage with various members of her crew patting me on the back and shouting words of encouragement. I needed a shower, and then I was headed to find her again. Funny enough, I ran into her as I was finallying out of my long shower. I¡¯d done my best to scrub off the excessive makeup they¡¯d covered me with before the interview, highlights and eyeliner, and all sorts of silly things thatbined to make me look better under the harsh lighting of the studio. Finally, I felt human again. Like a man. ¡°Oh! I didn¡¯t realize you were still here,¡± Kelly said as her eyes went a little wide. The soft smile ying at the side of her lips let me know that even though she might be a little surprised, she was happy about it. I smiled at her, running a hand back through my still-damp hair. ¡°Yeah, I chatted with a couple of the other guests for a bit and then got someone to let me into your dressing room so I could take a shower. I hope that¡¯s okay.¡± I watched her expression carefully and, yeah, she was probably already wet in her panties. I could only hope her panties matched that sh of a bra that I¡¯d seen. I could only imagine the way the ckce would look across her tight, sexy skin. My cock twitched in my pants at the thought of gripping it and running in along her soft curves. ¡°It¡¯s perfectly fine.¡± She licked her lips and eye-fucked me again. ¡°Did you like it?¡± I chuckled. ¡°The shower? Yeah. There was this hot guy in there, and he let me run my hands over his wet, muscr body.¡± I winked. ¡°Wait. That was me¡­¡± Sheughed. ¡°You¡¯re so full of it. I swear the world waits in wonder for your next stunt or to see who you are under that handsome mask.¡± ¡°I¡¯m just me.¡± I lifted my hands to the side and gave her the cutest little boy look I could. ¡°And I want to know if you¡¯d let me buy you a drink. It¡¯s a ¡®thanks¡¯ for not destroying my reputation like so many entertainment anchors seem to want to dotely,¡± I told her, cocking my head to the side and smiling down at her. There was a moment of indecision on her face, but then, she smiled. ¡°Sure thing,¡± she said. ¡°Can you give me ten minutes to get changed out of my suit, though?¡± I spread my arms generously, nearly snorting as I saw her eyes dart down toward my abs. ¡°Take as much time as you need,¡± I told her. ¡°I¡¯ve got some work emails that I need to answer, so I¡¯ll just lurk around the break room doing that.¡± ¡°Great,¡± she said and disappeared for a bit. My mind became a yground of possibilities. I loved women. Especially when they were naked and moaning. Chill bumps pinpricked my skin as lusty images rolled through my mind, one after the next. I was heated and panting a little by the time Kelly showed back up. ¡°You ready?¡± she asked, looking like heaven. ¡°Yeah. Let¡¯s get out of here.¡± I stood and lifted my hand. ¡°Lead the way, beautiful.¡± ¡°Oh no, don¡¯t you start that?¡± Sheughed as she turned and walked in front of me. I let my eyes run down the long line of her back to the thick curve of her ass. Wonder if she likes anal? ¡°Start what?¡± I asked innocently.¡± ¡°You know what.¡± Sheughed and moved through arge crowd of people. From there, it was easy enough to lead her out to the street with a hand at her lower back. ¡°You know,¡± I said slyly. ¡°My ce isn¡¯t that far from here, and rather than going out to a bar, I¡¯ve got a really good wine that you might like. I picked it up thest time I was in Italy.¡± Kelly moved onto the street and nced over at me as she bit her lower lip, no doubt thinking about that imaginary girlfriend. Sure enough. ¡°I thought you were interested in someone?¡± she asked. ¡°We¡¯re still pretty casual,¡± I said. ¡°She¡¯s not going to protest if I have you over for a ss of wine. I think people are putting a little too much weight on the rtionship anyway. She¡¯s not wearing a ring, and I¡¯m not buying one. And here¡¯s this¡­ what with you interviewing me and all, we¡¯re coworkers, right? It¡¯s like a coworker happy hour. At my ce.¡± I lifted an eyebrow, hoping like hell my antics would work. Kellyughed. ¡°Maybe just for the day we are,¡± she agreed. ¡°All right. I¡¯d love to. Anyway, I can only imagine what kind of pad the world¡¯s hottest young real estate bachelor lives in.¡± I shook my head, still smiling. ¡°I hardly think I count as the world¡¯s hottest young anything,¡± I told her. ¡°Maybe the city¡¯s hottest young real estate bachelor.¡± I winked at her, and could practically see the way she melted. Of course, she didn¡¯t see much of the penthouse apartment that I lived in. I cornered her as she was taking off her shoes, crowding her up against the door as much as I thought she¡¯d let me. ¡°You¡¯re a very attractive woman; do you realize that?¡± I told her. ¡°Oh no,¡± Kelly said,ughing and shaking her head, but making no move to leave, even though she must know what was about to happen. ¡°I¡¯m not going to be just another of your flings, Christian Wall. You can forget all about that.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns this. I sighed. ¡°That¡¯s a pity,¡± I told her. ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure you¡¯re the world¡¯s hottest young journalist. We would have made quite the pair.¡± Kelly bit her lower lip. ¡°Do you think so?¡± she asked breathily. ying on a woman¡¯s weakness to want affection was all too easy. And it was a pretty easy guess that anyone who had chosen the entertainment field had an underlying need to be wanted, namely by the masses. For some reason, it seemed like the hotter a girl was, the more worried she was that she was a no-one. ¡°Fuck yes,¡± I whispered seductively. ¡°I¡¯ve been hard since I got to the studio.¡± My eyes moved down her body. ¡°I¡¯ve imagined making love to you twenty times since the interview started.¡± Suddenly, Kelly surged up and kissed me, as I might have predicted that she would. I slowed the nervous motion of her lips, stroking a hand down her back to calm her down. Even though I wanted to make this quick and dirty, to make her scream my name. I could tell I would have to go a bit slowly with her. She didn¡¯t have that many one-night stands, and she had to know that this was a one-night stand; she was in entertainment, and she had done her research before interviewing me. I lengthened the kiss, allowing it to deepen into something slow and lewd, our tongues twining around one another¡¯s. I slid my hands up under her shirt, stroking them tantalizingly across her skin before lifting the garment over her head, revealing thatcy ck bra that she¡¯d unknowingly been teasing me with. It was thin and flimsy, and I could see her nipples were already part little nubs beneath the fabric. I bent down and raked my teeth over those two points of pleasure while my hands worked at her jeans. Then, once I¡¯d stripped her down to nothing more thance, I led her into the bedroom. She looked gorgeous and sprawled out across my sheets like that. I kept a burning gaze on her as I stripped off my clothes, and then I crawled across the bed toward her, nudging her knees apart so that I could crawl between them. I licked and sucked my way up those luscious legs of hers and then pulled her panties down away from her pink pussy, bending in to kiss that as well. Even with something that simple, she was arching against the sheets, and I knew this was going to be over fast. It was a pity. I always hoped to find a sexy girl with a bit more stamina. But then again, if her stamina was that good, it probably meant that she slept around a lot, and I wasn¡¯t exactly looking to sleep with a slut. Sure enough, though, it wasn¡¯t long before Kelly was gasping out my name anding, her pussy pressing hard around me and her hands wing desperately at the sheets. I kept going, managing to bring her toe again and again. ¡°Stop,¡± Kelly whimpered, pushing back against my shoulders. ¡°It¡¯s too much, Christian.¡± I rolled my eyes and pulled out, jacking myself hard for a few moments beforeing across her tits. That was never my preferred way to finish, but that seemed to be the way it always happened with women at this point. They just couldn¡¯t handle me. I slipped out of bed and began collecting her things for her, ignoring the disappointed look she gave me. What, had she thought I was going to let her stay over in my bed? The thought was almostughable. I escorted her back downstairs and got her into a cab. That was the most I had to offer. Episode Eighty-Eight Gretchen¡¯s [POV] I took a deep breath of the morning air and let it out slowly. It had rained a little the night before, and the beach looked practically pristine, with all evidence of people washed away. Granted, the beach tended to never look the same from day to day. And I should know. I¡¯d had my shop here on this little stretch of beach for a few years now, and I was out here every morning, before my first client came, with a cup of coffee. I loved having that little routine to start my day, to give me a moment to just breathe in the ce and rx. I could never imagine leaving Hawaii. This ce had always been home. I smiled a little, thinking of how lucky I was to live in paradise, but I was startled out of my thoughts by someone calling my name. I turned and saw Mina dropping off some trash out back from her pineapple shop next door, and I smiled even wider, hopping off the back porch of my building and going over to meet her. ¡°Morning, Mina,¡± I greeted and offered her a warm smile. ¡°Good morning,¡± she said and smiled back. ¡°How¡¯s it going today? Are you busy?¡± Iughed a little. ¡°You want to know how many pineapples you¡¯re going to sell today?¡± I teased. Mina¡¯s eyes glinted with mirth. ¡°We both know that you¡¯ve been instrumental in drumming up business for metely,¡± she said. Then, her eyes grew serious. ¡°I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate that.¡± ¡°Well, honey, there¡¯s nothing likeing to paradise, getting a good massage, and then wandering over next door for a healthy pineapple shake!¡± I put my hands on my hips and rested in the warm feeling of living in paradise. It was a blessing too many took for granted and too few enjoyed. ¡°True,¡± Mina said. ¡°You could do with a massage soon yourself,¡± I said, critically noting her posture. I¡¯d been a massage therapist for long enough that I could tell she was a bit slouched, her shoulders a bit out of alignment from where they should be. ¡°You¡¯re doing too much heavy lifting. I bet.¡± I moved around behind her, and sheughingly turned away from my hands.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Yeah, yeah,¡± Mina said. ¡°I do need a massage soon. But I have to finish opening up shop before the morning rushes through!¡± I sighed and shook my head. ¡°You need to¡± ¡°Put me ahead of my work,¡± Mina finished, cutting me off as she did often. ¡°I know, you tell me that often enough. And I will, once I marry a millionaire and don¡¯t have to worry about the bills!¡± I snorted and shook my head. ¡°Where do you think you¡¯re going to meet a millionaire?¡± ¡°It¡¯ll be one of your customersing over to get a pineapple shake after his massage, of course!¡± Mina said, winking at me. ¡°Anyway, I¡¯d better get back.¡± ¡°Yeah, me too,¡± I said, sighing. ¡°We should go out for dinner sometime this week too, though. I feel like we haven¡¯t caught up in too long.¡± ¡°We see each other every day,¡± Mina pointed out. ¡°Yeah, but these ten-minute conversations aren¡¯t cutting it for me,¡± I told her. ¡°I need a sit-down dinner where we can dig into our lives together. It¡¯s been too long.¡± ¡°Aw,¡± she said, pulling me into a hug. ¡°Let¡¯s start with getting lunch today; what time are you going?¡± I grimaced. ¡°I¡¯m booked solid until three, unfortunately.¡± ¡°Three, it is,¡± Mina said, nodding her head. ¡°I¡¯ll get Sandy to cover for me.¡± ¡°Good,¡± I said,ughing a little. When Sandy had first started working for her, Mina hadn¡¯t trusted him to even work in the front of the shop while she was in the back doing inventory. It was good that she was rxing a little. We said our goodbyes and I headed back into my shop, whistling a little as I washed out my coffee mug. Every day was a new day in my field. I met new people, most of them needing relief and finding it at the tip of my fingers. It was a great job and a good feeling every day. I helped people rx and find peace. It was something we were all searching for. Some of us just made serenity a priority better than others. Like me. I reached the front counter right as my first client came in. She was a bit older, maybe in her 60s, and not one of my regrs. Probably on vacation, but it was possible that she had a new retirement home down there in Oahu and would be one of my regrs. ¡°Good morning,¡± the woman said hesitantly, looking around. ¡°Good morning,¡± I told her warmly. ¡°How are you?¡± Sheughed a little. ¡°Seeing that I woke up in paradise, I suppose I¡¯m doing pretty well, thanks. Are you Gretchen? We spoke on the phone.¡± ¡°I am,¡± I told her. ¡°And you¡¯re Gloria Walters?¡± ¡°I am,¡± Gloria said. She gave a nervous chuckle. ¡°I can¡¯t say that I¡¯ve ever done one of these things before, believe it or not. My husband has been after pampering me for years now, but I¡¯ve always told him I didn¡¯t need any more pampering.¡± I couldn¡¯t help smiling at the way her love for her husband came through in her words. ¡°That¡¯s not a problem at all.¡± I held out a robe for her. ¡°If you just want to get changed over here in this room, and then lie down and getfortable, I¡¯ll be in in a few minutes, and we can get started.¡± ¡°All right,¡± Gloria said, disappearing into the massage room. It must have been nice to have a man pamper her. I was jealous, I still longed to have a rtionship in my own life. It seemed like every bad decision I¡¯d made in the past all pointed to men. I put some lotion on my hands, flexing them and giving them a bit of a massage before I went in to work on her. Then, I entered the room, waiting a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. ¡°How are you feeling?¡± I asked, kneeling on the massage mat near her feet. ¡°This is nice already,¡± Gloria said with augh. ¡°That incense is lovely.¡± ¡°Mmm, yes,¡± I said, beginning to work. ¡°A friend of mine makes that. She has so many amazing fragrances that I never even know where to start.¡± ¡°You¡¯ll have to point me toward her shop,¡± Gloria said. ¡°I never really pick up souvenirs when I¡¯m traveling, but useful things like incense, I never mind buying. Especially when theye from members of the localmunity.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll give you her business card when we¡¯re finished,¡± I promised and rxed into working my magic. Gloria would feel a hundred times better by the time she left my table. ¡°So, you¡¯re just here on vacation?¡± ¡°It¡¯s our 40th wedding anniversary,¡± Gloria told me proudly. Sheughed a little. ¡°I can hardly believe that we¡¯ve made it this many years together; it feels like the blink of an eye. But I suppose that¡¯s what happens when you¡¯re madly in love with the man that you marry.¡± ¡°Wow, forty years!¡± I eximed. ¡°Congrattions.¡± ¡°Thank you, sweetie,¡± Gloria said. ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong. It hasn¡¯t all been sunshine and roses. We¡¯ve had our ups and downs, like any other couple. But if I had to go back and do it repeatedly, for the rest of eternity, there¡¯s not a single thing I would change about it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s so special,¡± I told her, shaking my head a little. ¡°I feel like so many people have such a difficult time making their rtionshipsst these days. What¡¯s the secret?¡± Gloriaughed. ¡°There¡¯s no secret to it, honey. It¡¯s hard work. You have to be willing to listen to the other person, and you have to be willing topromise. It¡¯s all the things that you¡¯ve ever heard about rtionships.¡± Sheughed a little. ¡°I know that sounds cliche, but it¡¯s the truth. The main difference is, you have to be willing to work on the rtionship and not think that someone else out there is going to be better for you. I never thought that for a moment once I met Bruce.¡± ¡°He must be amazing.¡± I tried to keep my voice even. It was easy to believe that there was someone out in the world for other people, for Gloria and Mina and the nextdy that came in, but for me? I didn¡¯t know. It felt like my Prince Charming got lost and forgot to ask for directions. ¡°He is,¡± Gloria said. ¡°He¡¯s no Prince Charming, of course, and boy does he have his ws! But we all do.¡± She shook her head. ¡°It¡¯s all about the little things that he does for me, though. That we do for each other. You know, sometimes he goes out into the garden and plucks all the weeds, without my even asking him to. He didn¡¯t even want to have a garden the size that we do; I made him get that. For him to go out there and pluck every single one of those weeds, that¡¯s such a nice gesture. Ortely, he¡¯s started getting up early on Sundays and bringing me pancakes in bed. After forty years of doing most of the cooking in the house, especially breakfasts, you can¡¯t imagine how giddy that makes me feel.¡± ¡°That¡¯s so sweet,¡± I said. ¡°Just from listening to you, I can tell how much you love him.¡± ¡°And that¡¯s how it should be,¡± Gloria said firmly as if she believed in love with all of her heart. Lofty thought for sure. ¡°How about you, though? Do you have a sweetheart?¡± I shook my head. ¡°Not at the moment, no.¡± Iughed a little. ¡°I¡¯m lucky to have a great life in such a beautiful ce, that I¡¯m not sure I need a man!¡± That wasn¡¯t the truth, but Gloria didn¡¯t need to know that I was still getting over the mess of my rtionship with my ex. Gloria sighed happily. ¡°And that¡¯s exactly the way that things should be,¡± she said. ¡°So many young people these days rush into rtionships that don¡¯t suit them. You just take your time, and the right guy will fall into your life almost without your even knowing it.¡± Episode Eighty-Nine Christian¡¯s [POV] I would never understand why the other Sunshine Real Estate owners seemed to always schedule meetings on Friday afternoons. Granted, most of them had wives and suburban lifestyles, so it was possible that they just really didn¡¯t want to get home to that. It wasn¡¯t like we ever really got anything done on Friday afternoons anyway, though. Everyone was always too tired from the rest of the week, and anyway, it wasn¡¯t like there were that many people who came to the office to look for houses at the end of the week. I drummed my fingers against the arm of my chair, making sure to hide the movement under the table so that the rest of them did n¡¯t see. I knew that George already disliked me and didn¡¯t think that I was fit to be a co-owner of thepany. There wasn¡¯t much that they could do about it unless they wanted to dissolve the entirepany and cease to call themselves Sunshine, which would be a pretty stupid move for them given all the work we¡¯d put into building up that name. Thank God for the legal advice that we¡¯d got when we had first created thepany; the contract terms that we¡¯d entered were saving my skin at this point. They needed me as the face of thepany, anyway. None of them were fit for that job. ¡°In other news,¡± George said, his voice monotonous and droning as ever, but he looked sharply up at me, and I figured I¡¯d better pay attention to whatever this was. His eyes narrowed. ¡°We haven¡¯t seen you on the news for a week, by my count. That must be some sort of a record.¡± The sneer in his voice was obvious, and I couldn¡¯t help clenching my fingers around the arms of my chair. ¡°What I do in my private life is, as always, none of your business,¡± I said, even though we¡¯d had this argument a hundred times before. And where I was partially right, I could see their side of it too. I just hated to admit it, which I never would. ¡°Except for when it affects business,¡± Alex exploded. ¡°Which-¡± ¡°Which, there¡¯s no evidence that it does,¡± I interrupted loudly. I shoved my chair back roughly. ¡°Jesus, way to ruin a perfectly good Friday afternoon.¡± ¡°Come on, guys,¡± Paul said, ever the voice of reason. ¡°Is there any other business news that you¡¯d like to discuss?¡± No one said anything for a long moment. ¡°All right, then let¡¯s adjourn, finish up whateverst-minute paperwork we have to get done, and go home for the weekend. I¡¯ll see you all on Monday morning. Remember that we have that magazineing through the office to take pictures, so try to clean up your desks as much as you can.¡± He directed thatst bit at Alex, who was notoriously messy, and although I was kind of grateful to hear him snip at someone else, it didn¡¯t change what George had said about me. How unprofessional did you have to be to bring something like that up in the middle of apany meeting? Even if it was only the four of us in there, and even though we¡¯d all been working together for the past ten years now. George caught my arm as we filed out of the conference room, and I fought the urge to deck the guy right then and there.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Maybe try to make it another week with good behavior, and we¡¯ll give you a gold star,¡± he said snidely. ¡°George,¡± Paul said reprovingly. He grabbed the back of my suit jacket, though, and I knew that was a warning not to engage. George rolled his eyes and stalked off. ¡°Come on,¡± Paul said, tugging me back into the conference room. ¡°Paul, I don¡¯t want to have some stupid conversation about my conduct,¡± I told him. The shit was getting old. I wasn¡¯t going to keep my dick in my pants. There was no fucking way. ¡°You have no right to judge me, no more than the rest of them do.¡± Paul gave me a look. It was one I¡¯d seen a million times before. ¡°Christian, when have I ever judged your behavior?¡± he asked. ¡°Take a deep breath and talk rationally to me.¡± I frowned, but I did take that deep breath, trying to quit shaking with rage. ¡°They¡¯re such-¡± ¡°I know,¡± Paul said, holding up a hand to stall me. He smiled a little and dropped into a seat, kicking out the one next to his and gesturing for me to sit as well. ¡°It¡¯s been a while since we caught up. I know the Great Christian Wall has plenty of other things to do with his time, but I do think I merit a conversation asionally.¡± I snorted. ¡°You know where my office is,¡± I reminded him. ¡°It¡¯s a two-way street, buddy. Bring your ass down there sometime.¡± ¡°This is true.¡± He smiled and changed the subject. ¡°So, tell me, what are your ns for the holidays, anyway?¡± Paul asked. ¡°The office will be closed for nearly three weeks; I assume you¡¯ll be jetting off to somewhere in Europe?¡± ¡°I might,¡± I said, shrugging, and I sped my hands over my upper stomach. ¡°I haven¡¯t made any ns yet. Jamie and I were talking about doing another ski vacation, but I¡¯m also drawn to somece warmer this year. I don¡¯t know. We¡¯ll see. You know I hate making ns too far in advance. People would think I was growing responsible or something crazy like that. Being someone who flies by the seat of their pants instead of being a nner takes work. Believe me.¡± I gave a quirky smile. He chuckled and shook his head. ¡°You¡¯re too much, man. So, what are your ns tonight? You wanna grab dinner? We¡¯ll charge it to thepany. Call it a business expense.¡± Iughed. ¡°As though either of us needs to do that.¡± I shook my head. ¡°Unfortunately, I have other ns forter, so I¡¯ll have to take a rain check. There¡¯s this hot new club downtown, and they¡¯ve personally invited me.¡± ¡°Ah,¡± Paul said. ¡°At the risk of sounding like George or the rest of them, be careful.¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°Yeah, always am,¡± I said, even though we both knew it wasn¡¯t exactly true. Being careful sounded about as fun as having the flu. I tried to forget about the whole afternoon when I got to the club that night, but no matter how slick the ce was, no matter how many pretty girls there were, I just couldn¡¯t seem to let it go. It was the patronizing tone, more than anything. The fact that George thought he could tell me to be on my best behavior for another week, as though he were my parent or something. We were all in this together. He wasn¡¯t that much older than me, even. And he had no right to speak to me like that in front of the other owners of ourpany. I slugged back another drink and gged down the bartender for another. I could see a bit of nervousness in her eyes already like she thought I was maybe drinking a bit too much and was getting ready to cut me off. I gave her a charming smile and leaned over the bar. ¡°Darling, trust me,¡± I drawled, reaching out to squeeze her hand, making her giggle a little. ¡°I do this every week. More than every week.¡± ¡°Yeah, okay,¡± she said, shaking her head. ¡°But if anything happens to you, it¡¯s going to be on my head! I just got this job; I don¡¯t want to lose it on opening night.¡± ¡°You won¡¯t,¡± I told her, projecting an air of flippant confidence that seemed to reassure her. ¡°All right,¡± she said, pouring me another whiskey. I turned away from her and scanned the crowd, picking out my target for the night. She had shown up with a few of her friends, and she had to be a model or something like that. God, she was gorgeous: porcin skin and short, spiky hair that emphasized the heart-shaped nature of her face. And her heels were a mile high. As I looked over, she wasughing at something her friend had said, tossing her head back. I smiled; I liked a girl who couldugh. George could never get with a girl like that, I thought viciously. That¡¯s why he¡¯s after me about cleaning up my image; he¡¯s just jealous. I swirled the whiskey in my ss and knocked it back, setting the thing down on the bar and making my way over to introduce myself. It wasn¡¯t long before she and I were nestled in one of the cozy booths in the back, just the two of us. ¡°Come on, order anything you¡¯d like,¡± I told the giggling girl. ¡°Baby, I¡¯ve got money, and I¡¯m not afraid to spend it.¡± ¡°I said, I just want a ss of wine,¡± she said. ¡°It doesn¡¯t have to be anything fancy.¡± ¡°How about this,¡± I told her. ¡°I have a better bottle of wine than any of these back at my ce. Plus, I live up in a penthouse with amazing views of the city. Why don¡¯t youe back with me and have a ss of wine there? We can start up the firece and cozy up under the nkets.¡± ¡°You¡¯re so full of it, but maybe,¡± she said. She didn¡¯t seem bothered by me being full of myself. Her smile let me know she was hoping I would nudge her towarding with me. It would make it easier on her if I pushed the decision a little. Tough luck. ¡°It¡¯s your call, sweet girl.¡± I shrugged as if my night would go on perfectly without her because, in all actuality, it would. ¡°All right,¡± she said with a soft sigh. ¡°Just let me tell my friends that I¡¯m going off with you.¡± ¡°You do that. I¡¯ll be right here.¡± I turned and let my eyes move across the various bodies pressed against each other in the club. It is funny how people wanted attention and affection so much that they would build a ce to congregate half-dressed in hopes of lust ushering in lust. It was what it was, but it was odd. ¡°I¡¯m ready.¡± She grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the door. We tumbled out into the November air, and I wrapped an arm around her bare shoulders. ¡°Didn¡¯t you bring a coat?¡± I asked. ¡°Of course not,¡± she said, a challenge in her eyes. ¡°Beauty is pain. I couldn¡¯t have a coat covering up this.¡± She swept her hand down the front of her body. She was something to behold for sure. Iughed and slung my suit jacket over her shoulders. There was a crowd of people out in front of the club, and a few reporters as well. For a moment, I wondered who might be here, but of course, it was opening night, so half the city had probably turned out. I hadn¡¯t bothered to look around that night; I wasn¡¯t feeling particrly friendly. ¡°Christian!¡± one of the reporters called, and I realized it was Kelly from The Latest. Oh, this should be good. She raised an eyebrow at the woman who was cozied up under my arm and shoved a microphone toward us. ¡°Christian, is this the woman who you referenced during our interview? The one who you¡¯re thinking of settling down with?¡± You know what, George? Fuck you. I grinned at the reporter. ¡°Nope,¡± I said cheerfully. ¡°There never was any girl who I nned to settle down with; you fell for that one, though, didn¡¯t you? I don¡¯t even know this woman¡¯s name. And you know what? I¡¯m going to take her home and fuck her anyway. Just like I fucked you, and just like I¡¯ve fucked half the women in this city. Isn¡¯t that right, sweetheart?¡± I pped the ass of the Girl of the Night, whatever her name was. ¡°How dare you!¡± she said, yanking away from me and throwing my jacket on the ground. She scowled up at me. Then, she turned toward Kelly, looking worried. ¡°You aren¡¯t going to air that, are you? I didn¡¯t consent to give an interview, and my career-¡± ¡°Should have thought of that before you decided to go home with Christian Wall,¡± Kelly said, a sneer on her face. ¡°He doesn¡¯t give a shit about your career. I bet he doesn¡¯t even know what your career is or anything else about you. Everything that you told him tonight, he tuned it out. And yet-¡± ¡°I knew what your career was,¡± I reminded Kelly smugly. ¡°I even knew your name. Does that make you feel special? Because you weren¡¯t. You were the worsty I¡¯ve had in a while. And, honey, that¡¯s saying something. Cause I¡¯ve been around the block a few times.¡± I grabbed my cock just to entuate what a dick I was. Living my life had grown exhausting. Sex was warmth and it was fleeting, but it¡¯s all I had. Kelly stared open-mouthed at me. Girl of the Night threw herself at me; what, did she think she was going to hurt me with those stic nails of hers or something? I easily pushed her away, and she stumbled in those heels of hers and toppled to the ground. A bouncer grabbed me gruffly by the arm and began hauling me along the street. ¡°I think that¡¯s enough of that,¡± he said in a deep voice as if I¡¯d been the one to start the drama. ¡°Hey,e on now,¡± I told him, trying to get away from him. ¡°Look, I¡¯m just heading home, even without the floozy, whatever. You can keep her. Just let me go. I¡¯ll pay you $100 bucks.¡± ¡°I¡¯m calling the cops,¡± the guy said grimly. ¡°You can¡¯t assault a woman like that and expect to get away with it.¡± ¡°She assaulted me!¡± I snapped. ¡°It¡¯s all there on video. Just ask Kelly from The Latest.¡± The guy wasn¡¯t going to give up. ¡°Jesus, I¡¯ll give you $750,¡± I told him. The man hesitated for a moment, and I knew in his face that I¡¯d won. I smiled smugly, pulled out my wallet to write him a check, and then headed home. I¡¯d just have to make sure to cancel the check first thing the next morning. Idiots. All of them. Episode Ninety Gretchen¡¯s [POV] I had just finished cooking breakfast the next morning when there was a knock on the door. I smiled a little to myself and wiped my hands off on a dishtowel, going to answer the door. The smell of greasy meat and cinnamon filled the air. It was a good scent. One that calmed me and left me feeling like there was no ce quite as great as home. I opened the door to find Mina standing outside with a big smile on her pretty face. ¡°Hey girl, get in here,¡± I said, hugging Mina. ¡°Hey,¡± Mina said, returning the hug. ¡°Thanks for inviting me over for breakfast. I just have nothing in the house at the moment. Except for pineapple! I always have pineapple, and I¡¯m happy to share. I¡¯ve tried just about every recipe known to man with the fruit.¡± Iughed. ¡°Yeah, I can imagine that must get old after a while. Come on in. I have to get to work by ten for an appointment, so I don¡¯t have a ton of time, but we can at least chat a little.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t believe you have work even on the weekends,¡± Mina said. ¡°I think I¡¯d go crazy. I need my downtime, you know?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t I. But it¡¯s all good. I only do special requests on the weekends,¡± I reminded her. ¡°This one is for one of my regrs who travels a lot for business. He¡¯s only back in town for a couple of days, and then he jets off again, so I told him I¡¯d be flexible with his schedule.¡± ¡°You¡¯re too nice,¡± Mina said, shaking her head. ¡°What happened to put yourself before your work?¡± Iughed. ¡°It¡¯s only a one-hour appointment. And then I¡¯ve got three more today, but it¡¯s nothing too busy, and I know all of them, so it¡¯s not like I have to suss out what they need or anything like that. They¡¯re easy appointments, and then I¡¯m free the whole rest of the weekend unless someone callsst-minute and wants to book me for tomorrow.¡± ¡°What are your ns for the rest of the weekend, when you¡¯re not working, then?¡± She made a te and sat down with me. I shrugged and slowly chewed a bite of eggs. ¡°Don¡¯t have much on the schedule.¡± ¡°So, you¡¯re only nning on going for a 50-mile run or something like that?¡± Mina asked, rolling her eyes. Iughed again. ¡°Don¡¯t be silly. I¡¯ll probably go for a run this evening. It¡¯s good to keep active. Maybe I¡¯ll go over to the gym tomorrow, or go for a swim or something. I may try to go surfing; I¡¯ve heard the waves are starting to get good again. But I don¡¯t have any ns; I just kind of want to chill. I haven¡¯t had a chill day in a while.¡± ¡°You¡¯re not up to anything in particr tonight?¡± Mina pressed, and I could tell from the glint in her eye that she had some sort of n, probably one that I wasn¡¯t going to be interested in. I groaned. ¡°Mina, I¡¯m not going clubbing again,¡± I told her. ¡°If you want to have a nice night in with a movie and a bottle of wine or something like that, I could probably be down, but-¡± ¡°What about a luau?¡± Mina asked, her smile widening. I sighed. It could be fun. ¡°Mina, I¡¯ve been working hard all week,¡± I told her. ¡°I¡¯ve had an insane number of appointments. And I have four of them today. By that point, I¡¯m going to be ready to just be off my feet and not try to socialize with a bunch of random strangers.¡± Mina pouted a little. ¡°But you rarely take the whole day off. This would give you plenty of time to go out and let your hair down a little tonight, maybe meet a guy, and not have to worry about work tomorrow.¡± Iughed, of course, that was what this was about. ¡°Mina, I¡¯m not trying to meet a guy,¡± I reminded her. But she wasn¡¯t going to take no for an answer. ¡°Look, I¡¯ll think about it, okay? Thanks for inviting me. I¡¯ll let you know how I¡¯m feeling after work.¡± ¡°Fine,¡± Mina said, although I could tell she was a bit disappointed by my reluctance. ¡°We¡¯ll see.¡± I hated to disappoint her. ¡°Maybe something will shift in the day and I¡¯ll feel differently.¡± ¡°Yay!¡± She wagged her eyebrows and pped like a small child. I chuckled. ¡°I said maybe.¡± As it turned out, my two-afternoon appointments were both canceled, and I found myself unexpectedly with a whole free afternoon and evening. And the whole next day as well. I couldn¡¯t remember thest time I¡¯d had a day and a half off that I hadn¡¯t been on vacation. I didn¡¯t know what to do with myself. I went for a swim, and I took a nap, and then I called Mina. ¡°Fine,¡± I told her. ¡°I¡¯ll go to this luau, but I¡¯m not staying there all night. We can go for a little while though.¡± Mina cheered on the other end of the phone. ¡°I¡¯ll swing by to pick you up at seven,¡± she told me. ¡°And thank you, Gretchen! I¡¯m so excited.¡± ¡°Me too.¡± Lies. Later that night, when we got there, I had to admit that I was d that I had agreed to go. I looked around at the crowd and smiled. I knew most of them; that was what happened when you lived on an ind for your whole life. Sure, there were a few tourists who had managed to find their way out there, but for the most part, it seemed to be a local affair. It had been a while since I¡¯de to one of these things. ¡°How have you been, Gretchen?¡± Jenny asked me, giving me a warm hug. ¡°I¡¯ve heard business has been good over at the shop.¡± ¡°It¡¯s been really good, actually,¡± I told her and returned the gesture, squeezing her tightly. ¡°Amazing is more like it!¡± Mina interjected, her energy contagious. My poor best friend needed to get out more, which meant I did too. Iughed. ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s been pretty busy. I feel like I never really get out anymore, but I love what I do, so I guess maybe that¡¯s a good thing.¡± ¡°You¡¯re lucky that way,¡± Jenny agreed, nodding her head. ¡°What, aren¡¯t you enjoying working at the cafe anymore?¡± I asked and crossed my arms over my chest as a warm breeze blew past us. ¡°Oh, it¡¯s fine,¡± Jenny said. ¡°Just not what I see myself doing for the rest of my life. I¡¯ve been thinking about going back to school.¡± ¡°Oh, wow! What are you wanting to study?¡± I asked and forced myself to focus on her. A feeling of trepidation sat on my shoulders, and I knew why. Lino, my ex, was most likely somewhere in the party, lurking on the edges of it. Beloved by everyone. But me. I flowed from conversation to conversation for a little while, almost feeling like things were going to be good, and then I saw him. I swallowed hard, knowing that I should go over and say hello to Lino but not sure what I wanted to say. There was a part of me that would never forgive him for what he had done to me. But at the same time, I couldn¡¯t deny that there had been problems with our whole rtionship, and the further I got from being in a rtionship with him, the more I was able to ept that, yes, there had been some serious problems there. We would never have worked out long-term. I liked him as a person, but that was it. Maybe it was about time we became friends again. As though drawn by my thoughts, Lino made his way through theughing crowd toward me. I felt like maybe I should run from him, he was so predatory, but I was pinned there by his gaze. ¡°Hey Lino,¡± I said hesitantly. ¡°How are you?¡± Lino smiled down at me. ¡°Hey Gretchen,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯m good. Better now. You¡¯re looking beautiful as always.¡± His eyes raked over my white dress, stroking my curves and undressing me with his gaze. I couldn¡¯t help but shudder a little. There had always been such fire between us, a fire that I still couldn¡¯t deny, even though I knew we were never going to sleep together again. ¡°How is business at the dive shop?¡± I asked, not wanting to dwell on the past. ¡°Good,¡± Lino said. ¡°It¡¯s been really good this year. Lots of touristsing down here. Just one of those years, I guess. But it¡¯s nice to have, especially afterst year was so dead. It¡¯s been busy as hell, which hasn¡¯t given me much time to do the things I love, but it¡¯s all good.¡± With the way he watched me, I couldn¡¯t help but wonder if I were one of those things he loved. But no¡­that ship had sailed one stormy night, a long time ago. ¡°Mmm, I can imagine,¡± I said. ¡°Things have been good at the massage parlor too. I¡¯ve been busy.¡± I tried hard not to let sarcasm slip into my voice seeing that he hadn¡¯t asked about my business. Typical. He was focused on himself and not much more. Not unless it centered around him gettingid. ¡°Yeah, I haven¡¯t seen you around the bars in ages,¡± Lino said as he continued to watch me closely. ¡°You¡¯ve been looking?¡± I asked, arching an eyebrow at him even though I knew this was dangerous territory and that I should be trying to get out of this conversation as quickly as possible.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Oh, don¡¯t try to be coy,¡± Lino said, shaking his head, a glint in his eye. He licked his lips, and something in my stomach tightened. ¡°You know you¡¯re the sexiest thing on this ind. I¡¯m not the only person who¡¯s been looking for you.¡± I bit my lower lip. ¡°Yeah, well.¡± I nced around, eyes desperately casting about for someone else who I could run off to talk to. ¡°Sexy isn¡¯t something I¡¯m interested in talking about.¡± Linoughed. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m not going to make you do anything that you don¡¯t want to do,¡± he said. ¡°But maybe we could get coffee at some point. It would be nice to catch up, Gretchen. It¡¯s been a long time.¡± He reached out and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. I started to jerk back but decided that would be worse than just standing still. There was no way I was letting him know that I still had feelings for him after all the shit we¡¯d been through. I sighed. ¡°I don¡¯t think that I¡¯m ready for that to happen yet, Lino,¡± I admitted. ¡°I thought that maybe I was, but I don¡¯t think I am.¡± I was a bit disappointed in myself. I wanted to be ready to move on. I didn¡¯t want to look back anymore. But I could tell that Lino was still looking back. I knew what he was looking for. He wanted us to go behind some of the dunes and have sex. That wasn¡¯t about to happen. ¡°Hey, Gretchen, there you are!¡± Mina said, catching my elbow and saving me from myself. Finally. I pasted a smile on my face, but I could see the knowing look in her eyes; she knew exactly what she¡¯d interrupted. She nodded at Lino. ¡°Sorry, I need Gretchen¡¯s help with something over there,¡± she said, nodding off toward the crowd, not even bothering toe up with an excuse. She had never really liked Lino all that much. ¡°Yeah, all right.¡± Lino tilted his head to the side as I took a few steps back with Mina. ¡°Call me sometime and let¡¯s get a drink. My treat?¡± ¡°Sure.¡± I turned and ran my hand down my face. ¡°That guy. I swear.¡± She tugged me away, and I breathed a sigh of relief. ¡°Thanks,¡± I said. ¡°What the hell was that?¡± Mina asked. ¡°I thought you were done with him.¡± ¡°I am,¡± I insisted. ¡°We¡¯ve been done for a year now. You know that. You¡¯d be the first person to know if something was happening between the two of us again. But no, nothing is happening. He just came up to say hi.¡± ¡°It didn¡¯t look like you were just saying hi to one another,¡± Mina told me. ¡°It looked like you were fucking one another with your eyes.¡± I sighed. ¡°Yeah, well. There¡¯s always going to be feelings there, Mina. We dated for over a year. And we had good sex.¡± Mina groaned. ¡°I knew you just needed to getid,¡± she said. ¡°You need to get out more, girl. There are plenty of guys on this ind who would love to sleep with you. Guys who aren¡¯t assholes.¡± ¡°He¡¯s not an asshole,¡± I told her. ¡°That¡¯s not what we agreed when he left you.¡± ¡°Okay, he¡¯s kind of an asshole. But he¡¯s a good guy deep down. Anyway, it¡¯s not like he¡¯s trying to start up a rtionship with me again or anything like that. He just wants to fuck me. I¡¯m not going to do that again, so.¡± Mina shook her head. ¡°I still don¡¯t think you should even bother talking to him,¡± she said. ¡°The guy¡¯s a total jerk, and for all that you trust your willpower and your ability to withstand his advances¡­¡± ¡°You think I¡¯d just as happily bend over for him,¡± I said, feeling hurt by that. ¡°Come on, Gretchen,¡± Mina said, clearly sensing that I was upset. ¡°Look, let¡¯s steal a bottle of wine and go sit by the water, just the two of us.¡± I wanted to protest, but it would have been purely on principle. ¡°Okay,¡± I agreed. A bottle of wine with my best friend was pretty much the only thing I¡¯d wanted that night anyway. I gave Lino onest fleeting look. His eyes were still trained on me, with a look that I couldn¡¯t decipher. Episode Ninety-One Christian¡¯s [POV] Monday morning came too soon. After Friday afternoon¡¯sments, I honestly wasn¡¯t entirely ready to go back to the office and see the others, especially George. I was afraid I might say something I would regret. But there was no avoiding it. I would just have to do my best to keep myself busy with personal projects that day and use that as momentum to get back into the swing of things. I ducked into my normal ce to get coffee and waited impatiently in line, bouncing a little on my toes and ncing at my watch. I looked over at the newsstand and started reading through the headlines, just for something to do. Then, I saw one that caught my eye. Oh fuck. I got out of line and went over to pick up the magazine, frowning at the picture there on the cover. It had been taken on Friday night, as I tumbled out of the club with that other woman. And worst of all, it had a bright yellow ssh in the corner that imed to have the full interview with me printed in it, as well as interviews with Kelly and the girl. I swallowed hard, wondering if I even wanted to know. But no doubt, everyone around the office was going to know all the contents of whatever it was. Best to prepare me for the inevitable meeting. When I got to the office, Paul was the only other owner there already. I slipped into his office without even asking and s hut the door behind me. Paul sighed and gestured me toward a seat. ¡°This is a bad one,¡± Paul said, as though I didn¡¯t already know that. ¡°So, what¡¯s going to happen?¡± I asked. ¡°You guys aren¡¯t going to dissolve Sunshine Real Estate; you know that, and I know that. And you know it would be ridiculous for you to try to buy me out of the contract. Even if you did manage to get rid of me from thepany, you need me. I¡¯m the face of thispany. Get rid of me and-¡± ¡°Whoa, whoa, whoa,¡± Paul said, holding up both hands. ¡°Slow down, man. No one¡¯s talking about getting rid of you. George might mention something like that, but he doesn¡¯t even really mean it. It¡¯s not just about thepany that needs you, either. We¡¯ve been together for years now. Despite all the bad press that you¡¯vended us and the fact that we¡¯re all at totally different points in our lives now, you¡¯re an integral part of thispany. We wouldn¡¯t just abandon you.¡± I frowned and shook my head. ¡°Then what are you guys talking about doing?¡± Paul sighed. ¡°There does need to be some sort of action,¡± he said. ¡°You know that.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I admitted. ¡°But-¡± Before we could talk more, there was a knock at the door, and George stuck his head in. He didn¡¯t seem surprised to find me in there with Paul. He probably didn¡¯t even bother going to my office first. ¡°We¡¯re having a meeting,¡± he announced. Again, no one was surprised. Paul and I got up and followed him down to the same conference room that we¡¯d usedst Friday for the disastrous meeting that had forced my ¡°bad conduct¡± in the first ce. I sullenly took a seat, folding my arms across my chest and waiting for them to speak, because I knew that if I tried to speak first, they were just going to interrupt me. George tossed the magazine that I had already seen down on the table and followed it up with four or five simr productions. Probably the worst one was where they had caught a picture of me pping a random girl¡¯s ass. I coughed a little, honestly a bit embarrassed by that one. ¡°Yeah,¡± George said, frowning at me. He had his arms folded across his chest and was still standing, clearly trying to intimidate me. I shrugged as the silence stretched on. ¡°Look, I don¡¯t know what you want me to say,¡± I said. Alex snorted. Paul grimaced. George mmed a hand on the table. ¡°Maybe we¡¯d like you to apologize for being so arrogant and immature,¡± he snarled. ¡°Maybe we¡¯d like you to quit being so stupid. You always remind us that you¡¯re the face of thispany. How can you not realize that that goes beyond the promo shoots and the TV appearances and everything else? Anything that you do, at this point, seems to be in the public eye.¡± ¡°But it shouldn¡¯t be,¡± I said. Alexughed. ¡°There you go again with that incredible immaturity,¡± he scoffed. He mimicked me in a high whine, ¡°But it shouldn¡¯t be.¡± He shook his head. ¡°It is, though, Christian. You know that it is. Whether you think it¡¯s your private business or not, you have to realize how much you¡¯re tarnishing thepany image with these stupid shenanigans of yours.¡± ¡°Oh, for thest time!¡± I snapped. ¡°I¡¯m not tarnishing thepany¡¯s image.¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t you?¡± George retorted. ¡°Then do you want to exin to me why our stock declines every time you end up on the news?¡± I blinked at him, and he rolled his eyes. ¡°You didn¡¯t even know that, did you? You never pay attention to anything that has to do with the actualpany side of things. You shouldn¡¯t even be an owner of thepany. You¡¯ve got no head for any of this, and-¡± ¡°What are you going to do?¡± I snarled, getting to my feet as well because I¡¯d had it with him trying to assert his dominance. ¡°I am an owner of thepany. Unless you want to dissolve thepany or-¡± ¡°We¡¯re not getting rid of you,¡± Paul interrupted soothingly, about time that he spoke up! ¡°George,e on. You know Christian belongs in thispany. He¡¯s been brilliant at marketing us and at making us what we are today. Maybe he hasn¡¯t always acted in the best interests of thepany, but that doesn¡¯t mean he doesn¡¯t deserve to be at this table just as much as the rest of us. We¡¯ve all made sacrifices over the years, and we¡¯ve all worked hard.¡± ¡°What are you going to do then?¡± I asked, whirling toward Paul, my hands on my hips. ¡°First, we¡¯re going to ask you to step into the hall,¡± Paul said, and even though his eyes remained gentle, there was a hint of steel in his voice that told me I should do what he said. Iughed and shook my head. ¡°So much for not getting rid of me!¡± I snapped. ¡°We¡¯re not getting rid of you,¡± Paul repeated. ¡°However, I don¡¯t think we¡¯re going to have a very productive discussion like this. Why don¡¯t you go wait in your office, and I¡¯lle let you know when we¡¯ve reached a decision?¡± It wasn¡¯t a suggestion, and as much as I didn¡¯t like the idea, I knew that I needed to go along with it. I was lucky enough to still have Paul on my side. I nodded sharply and headed for the door. Back in my office, it seemed to take them an eternity toe up with my sentencing. I knew that I should be getting work done, reminding them of what a valuable resource I was there at the office, but instead, it was all I could do to make another coffee and sit there at my desk, staring down at my photo on the front of that stupid magazine. I didn¡¯t even dare read the interviews, but it was enough to imagine what the two women might have said. Paul finally knocked on the door and cleared his throat, and I looked up at him. He came inside, alone, thankfully, and shut the door firmly behind him. ¡°We¡¯re not getting rid of you,¡± he repeated. ¡°Yeah, yeah, okay,¡± I said, waving a hand. ¡°What are you going to do?¡± ¡°Unfortunately, there¡¯s not much that we can do, short of buying you out of thepany. We¡¯ve agreed that it would be best for you to take the next three or four months off. Get it all out of your system, ande back to us when you¡¯re ready to work and be a professional.¡± I stared at him, hardly able to believe the wordsing out of his mouth. ¡°Paul-¡± I said. ¡°Wait,¡± Paul said, holding up a hand. ¡°Just think about it, Christian. You could do a ski vacation. You could go somece warm. You wouldn¡¯t be getting paid, but we both know you¡¯re not in any danger of going broke, no matter how crazy you go for the next few months. Just get out of the country. Go somece where the gossip columns won¡¯t bother you and have a good time.¡± ¡°But thepany-¡± ¡°We¡¯ll suffer through it,¡± Paul said, giving me a wry smile. ¡°We¡¯ll be happy to have youe back. You know how much I hate having to go to conferences and things like that.¡± ¡°So-¡± ¡°It¡¯s not really up for discussion,¡± Paul interrupted. He grimaced. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Christian. You know how much I hate for things toe to this, how much I¡¯ve been fighting this for years now. But there¡¯s nothing that I can do.¡± I grimaced. A weekter, I found myself standing behind a podium, giving a formal apology for all the things that I had supposedly done. ¡°To all of our shareholders, and our consumers, and our supporters,¡± I said, ¡°I thank you for your patience. I know that my conduct over the past few years hasn¡¯t been exactly what you¡¯ve desired. I know that there have been many times that you¡¯ve¡­¡± I trailed off, staring down at the script that had been ced in front of me. Then, I threw the note cards off to the side. ¡°Let me be real here,¡± I said. ¡°I know that when you¡¯re looking for a real estatepany, you¡¯re looking for someone who you can trust. You¡¯re looking for someone who can see the vision of you growing old there with your wife, of you spending time there with your kids. And I haven¡¯t delivered on that promisetely.¡± I spotted Paul in the audience; I could see the way his eyebrows rose. ¡°I haven¡¯t respected you the way that you deserved,¡± I told them. ¡°And we all know it. And I¡¯d like to fix that. I¡¯ll be taking some time off, at least from now until the end of the year, probably longer,¡± I told everyone. ¡°And don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m leaving you in incredibly capable hands. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve all heard of these guys before. And-¡± ¡°All right,¡± Paul said, suddenly catching my elbow and leading me off the stage. ¡°That¡¯s enough,¡± he said under his breath. ¡°We do still want you toe back next year.¡± I took a deep breath and smiled bitterly at him. ¡°But over the next few months, you¡¯re going to realize that you don¡¯t need me,¡± I told him. ¡°Bullshit,¡± Paul said sinctly, and it was very rare that I heard him swear. I couldn¡¯t help smiling a little. ¡°If you say so.¡± ¡°I do,¡± Paul said. He shook his head.N?velDrama.Org owns this. ¡°Don¡¯t spend your whole trip worrying about what¡¯s happening around the office. Have fun. Come back when you¡¯re good and ready.¡± Episode Ninety-Two Gretchen¡¯s [POV] I sighed and stretched, still feeling a bit sleepy but knowing that I had to get out of bed before it got toote in the day. I had never been the type of person toze away the entire day in bed. That was just a waste, as far as I was concerned. Anyway, it wasn¡¯t as though there was anything worth staying in bed for. Even though it was Tuesday, I didn¡¯t have any appointments on the schedule that day. I still wasn¡¯t entirely sure how that had worked out, but hey, I wasn¡¯tining! Instead, I grabbed a book and went out to my front porch, lying down in the hammock that I had strung up out there. For a moment, I just swung there, enjoying the warm breeze and smiling at the palm trees, at my tropical life. Then, I opened the book to where my bookmark was and began to read. I was getting into it when Mina hopped up the steps onto my porch. ¡°What a beautiful day, huh?¡± she said. I smiled and put the bookmark back into my book. I was right in the middle of a juicy scene, but I knew that Mina wasn¡¯t going to give me time to finish it. Sure enough¡­ ¡°Why do you read those things anyway?¡± Mina asked, getting a glimpse of the cover of the book. ¡°You¡¯d be better off keeping up with world news. Those silly romance novels are just filler.¡± I raised an eyebrow at her. ¡°Because you do s such a good job keeping up with world news?¡± ¡°Yeah. I watch The Latest religiously, and I read a bunch of different magazines, and-¡± I burst outughing, unable to help myself. ¡°Mina, entertainment news hardly counts as world news,¡± I told her. Mina shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s news, and it happens in the world. It¡¯s world news. And you never bother to keep up with any of it. You can¡¯t imagine how much drama has gone down just this week.¡± I shook my head. ¡°Yeah, I don¡¯t care about any of that stuff,¡± I told her. ¡°Who kisses whom and who wore what. I just don¡¯t see why any of that matters.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns this. ¡°Well, how are you ever going to meet a hot millionaire if you don¡¯t even know who the hot millionaires are?¡± she asked, a twinkle in her eye. Iughed again. ¡°You¡¯re ridiculous,¡± I told her sinctly. ¡°Sure, there are plenty of millionaires whoe to Hawaii probably, but they don¡¯t hang out in the ces that we go. They¡¯ll be at the fanciest restaurants and the fanciest clubs and the fanciest, well, everything!¡± Mina shook her head. ¡°But seriously, if you¡¯re going to read anything, why romance novels?¡± I bit my lower lip and shrugged. ¡°I guess I just like to have hope,¡± I told her. ¡°It¡¯s a nice escape from reality, and it¡¯s nice to think that maybe, just maybe, there¡¯s-¡± ¡°Some Prince Charming who¡¯s perfect for you, who holds the door for you and brings you breakfast in bed and is 100% perfect? You believe in that stuff?¡± I blushed a little. ¡°I don¡¯t believe in that,¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t think there¡¯s a perfect guy or anything like that. But it¡¯s nice to think that there¡¯s someone out there, that there is true love. Can you imagine having a feeling like that? I was talking to a woman in my shop a while back, and she was telling me that if she had to go back and do her whole life over again, she¡¯d still pick the same guy and would still do everything the same. Don¡¯t you want to have that feeling?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to think about living life all over again,¡± Mina said, shaking her head. ¡°I¡¯d rather just focus on the life that I¡¯m already living and do the things that I want to do now. And right now, I¡¯d like you to go get changed so we can go surfing!¡± Iughed but rolled out of the hammock, knowing that she wasn¡¯t going to take no for an answer. Anyway, it would be nice to go surf; the waves had been great thest time I¡¯d gone, and I wanted to get as much of that into the season as I could. ¡°Do you believe in true love?¡± I asked Mina as we paddled out onto the water. I just couldn¡¯t seem to let go of the conversation that we¡¯d had that morning. Mina snorted. ¡°Not even in the slightest,¡± she said, shaking her head. ¡°Really?¡± I asked, surprised. ¡°But your parents-¡± ¡°Love each other very much,¡± Mina agreed. ¡°But that doesn¡¯t mean that they were destined to be together or any of that stuff. They just ended up together, in the end. It¡¯s as simple as that. If they had ended up with other people, they could have been just as happy, or not, but it wouldn¡¯t have been because there was something better out there. There are people who we¡¯re morepatible with than others; take you and me, for example, we make great friends. But that doesn¡¯t mean we can¡¯t have different friends who we¡¯re just as happy with.¡± I frowned, watching the waves. ¡°But have you ever even been in love?¡± Minaughed and shook her head. ¡°Nope,¡± she said. ¡°I haven¡¯t even been in a steady rtionship unless you want to count whatever that was with Nicky.¡± ¡°That wasn¡¯t a rtionship,¡± I said, rolling my eyes as I remembered her on-and-off fling from the previous year. He¡¯de to a bunch of events and things like that with us, but he¡¯d wanted that to be a rtionship more than she had. And as soon as he had started hinting toward something more, Mina had cut him loose. ¡°I kind of admire your ability. So, tell me, what do you need out of a rtionship?¡± Mina asked. ¡°Sex, right? You can get sex without being in a rtionship.¡± ¡°There¡¯s more to a rtionship than that,¡± I protested. ¡°There¡¯s intimacy, and-¡± ¡°You can¡¯t get much more intimate than sex,¡± Mina interrupted. ¡°Maybe not, but there¡¯s also support, and, I don¡¯t know.¡± I didn¡¯t know what I was looking for in a rtionship. Maybe that was why they never really seemed to work out for me. ¡°But anything that you can get from a rtionship, you get from friendship,¡± Mina pointed out. ¡°Yeah, but plenty of people say that that¡¯s what a rtionship is,¡± I reminded her. ¡°They say that it¡¯s like being with their best friend. Plus, you get the added intimacy of sex and everything else. Living together for a long time. Sharing the same life path.¡± ¡°But that doesn¡¯t mean that you love one another,¡± Mina said. She scanned the waves and pointed to one. ¡°Not to cut this short, but I¡¯m going to catch that one.¡± Iughed and watched her go, thinking things over. I never really knew what to think about love and rtionships. I got a lot of people in the massage parlor who were in Hawaii on their honeymoons or their anniversaries. And they all seemed happy. At the same time, as Mina said, that didn¡¯t mean that they wouldn¡¯t have been perfectly happy with someone else. Maybe it alles down to how much work you were willing to put into maintaining the rtionship. But in that case, it came back to you, rather than your connection to the other person. You could make that sort ofmitment to anyone. ¡°You¡¯re still thinking about it, aren¡¯t you?¡± Mina asked as we finally dusted the sand off our feet and loaded our surfboards into the back of her truck. ¡°About what?¡± I asked. ¡°I¡¯d love to say that you were still thinking about the whole true love thing, but I guess the crux of it is probably that you¡¯re still thinking about running into Lino the other night at the luau.¡± I must have looked guilty because she shook her head. ¡°Gretchen,¡± she said critically. I spread my arms in a wide shrug. ¡°I can¡¯t help it,¡± I said. ¡°What if he was the one and I just wasn¡¯t willing to work hard enough at it?¡± Mina shook her head. ¡°See, things like this are exactly why I refuse to believe in the notion of true love,¡± she told me. ¡°Because then people delude themselves into thinking that they have to stay in rtionships that are toxic for them. You know that what you had with Lino wasn¡¯t true love. Even if you believe in the idea of true love, you must realize that what the two of you had was nothing like what you read about in those books that you love.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know, though,¡± I said uncertainly. ¡°He wasn¡¯t always such a gentleman, and-¡± ¡°Not always such a gentleman?¡± Mina interrupted angrily, her voiceden with disbelief. ¡°Do you remember why he left you? You can¡¯t tell me that you¡¯re ready to forgive that, for the sake of true love. That would defeat the whole purpose of love.¡± I shook my head. ¡°But if I¡¯d been-¡± ¡°No,¡± Mina said before I even really knew what I was about to say. ¡°Don¡¯t say that you should have been something different and that things would have worked out between the two of you if you had been. In that case, he should have been with someone else the whole time.¡± ¡°I guess,¡± I said. That did make sense. ¡°I just can¡¯t help thinking about the connection that we had,¡± I told her. ¡°That we still have. That¡¯s the thing, Mina. I know you think I¡¯m crazy, and I know you probably don¡¯t understand since you¡¯ve never been in a real rtionship before. But standing therest night, even though I know that we¡¯re not in a rtionship anymore, I felt like he was a ma, drawing me in.¡± ¡°That¡¯s lust, nothing more,¡± Mina said. ¡°You haven¡¯t had sex in too long, and yourdy parts are wishing for it.¡± She pulled up outside my house. ¡°Seriously, Gretchen, I want you to promise me that you¡¯re not about to get back into things with Lino, of all people. You could do so much better than that, and I hope you know it.¡± I sighed. ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m going to get back into things with Lino,¡± I told her. ¡°Good,¡± she said firmly. ¡°And forget all that nonsense about finding your true love. That stuff only exists in books. Maybe those books make a nice escape from reality, but they¡¯re just that: an escape from reality. In real life, things work differently. Trust me.¡± I shook my head. ¡°We¡¯ll have to agree to disagree, I guess.¡± I smiled at her. ¡°I¡¯ll see you tomorrow morning.¡± ¡°See you tomorrow,¡± Mina said, smiling back at me. I walked slowly up to my porch, thinking over the conversation. I nced over at my book, which was still sitting there next to my hammock, waiting for me to get back to it. ¡°Maybe Gretchen is right,¡± I murmured to myself. ¡°Maybe true love only does exist in those books.¡± Episode Ninety-Three Christian¡¯s [POV] With so much travel in my life over the past ten years, I had my system down pat at this point. I could sleep through nearly everything on the flight, but I somehow always managed to wake up just before the wheels touched down. I filed through the airport with everyone else and stepped out into shockingly warm weather. When I¡¯d left New York, it had been 43F. Here, it was a balmy 72F, if the pilot was to be believed. Palm trees were swaying in a warm breeze, and everywhere I looked, there were beautiful, tanned women walking around in shorts and crop tops. I had to wonder why I¡¯d nevere to Hawaii before. The ski vacations had been fun, but there was a big difference between picking up a woman wearing a chunky sweater and picking up a woman wearing a sundress: with thetter, you knew exactly what you were getting. I threw my duffel bag into the back of a cab. I¡¯d packed light, figuring I could always pick up whatever I needed once I arrived. I didn¡¯t own that many summery clothes anyway. Sure, I had some shorts, but most of them were formal that I could wear to work. Nothing that you¡¯d wear to a beach. I slipped into the cab, barely refraining from rolling my eyes at the way the cabbie was staring at me. ¡°You¡¯re Christian Wall!¡± he said. Spotted already. ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± I said. ¡°I need to get to the Golden Palm Resort. Can you take me there?¡± ¡°Sure thing,¡± he said, flicking on the meter. As we started driving, he kept ncing over at me. ¡°I just can¡¯t believe that you¡¯re here!¡± he said. ¡°My friends are never going to believe that I drove Christian Wall from the airport.¡± I sighed. ¡°Please don¡¯t tell anyone,¡± I asked. God, I should have made the kid sign an NDA before I got in the car or something. Not that I ever minded the attention, but I was trying to be low-key here. I¡¯d picked a quiet little resort for a reason. If I¡¯d wanted my name sshed all over the news, I would have run off to Europe to booze my way through the best clubs in the world. I didn¡¯t know why I hadn¡¯t. I just wanted the trip to be something different. ¡°Oh, you¡¯re trying to keep things hush-hush, hmm?¡± the kid Mark, his nametag said asked. ¡°That makes sense. Man, you were all over the newsst week.¡± I raised an eyebrow at him. ¡°Usually it¡¯s just girls who know my reputation,¡± I told him. ¡°Oh no,¡± Mark said, shaking his head as he changednes. ¡°A lot of my friends all follow what you¡¯re up to. We only wish we could be you.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked,ughing a little. ¡°You wish you could be a wholepany¡¯s¡­¡± I grimaced, not even sure what word I wanted. I still maintained that I hadn¡¯t fucked anything up, but all the same¡­ ¡°Nah, man, with the chicks and the money and all of that,¡± Mark said. ¡°You could quit your job, buy a house on the beach, and just surf every day. All day, every day.¡± I snorted. ¡°I mean, I could, I guess,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯d probably get sick of surfing after a while, though.¡± ¡°You could never get sick of surfing,¡± Mark said, shaking his head. ¡°Every new wave that you catch is a different wave. It¡¯s just like fucking, man. Every girl is different. And even if you have sex with the same girl twice, well¡­¡± ¡°I try my best to never have sex with the same girl twice.¡± Markughed. ¡°See, man, that¡¯s why we love you. You¡¯ve pretty much got cult status at this point.¡± I couldn¡¯t help grinning a little. ¡°I guess it is a pretty good life,¡± I agreed, even though I was starting to wonder whether that was true. Call me stupid, but I¡¯d started to feel a bit lonelytely. It made sense. Besides Paul, I didn¡¯t have that many friends.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. No one who I could turn to and just know that they¡¯d be there for me, on my side, no matter what. And it was always the same thing, repeatedly. Sure, I liked what I was doing, but, there had to be something more to life. ¡°It¡¯s a great life,¡± Mark said enthusiastically. ¡°There¡¯s this girl here on the ind who is smoking hot, but she¡¯s way out of my league. What I wouldn¡¯t give to be like you. Even if I had one or the other, looks or money, I could get her to sleep with me. You have it all. Anything that you want in the world, you can get it.¡± ¡°Maybe not anything,¡± I said, thinking darkly about George and my job and the fact that I had been exiled from the office for the foreseeable future. ¡°Okay, but most things,¡± Mark persisted. ¡°You¡¯re going to have a fucking st here in Hawaii, let me tell you. There are so many great ces. You¡¯re going to want to get away from the touristy stuff for a bit too. Luaus are fun and all, but that¡¯s not all the locals do for nightlife. And there are some great Hawaiian wines and beers that you¡¯ll want to check out while you¡¯re here. I¡¯m biased because I grew up here, and let¡¯s face it, I¡¯ve never tasted a really good Italian wine or anything like that, but they¡¯re pretty great.¡± I smiled over at him. ¡°I¡¯ll have to get some rmendations for ces,¡± I told him, although I was just nning on hanging around the resort until I got sick of it. Then maybe I¡¯d jet off to the next ce. ¡°Yeah, no, I can give you rmendations,¡± Mark said. ¡°Better yet, if you need a driver while you¡¯re here, I can give you my number, and you can call me anytime. Even if you¡¯re stumbling back drunk from the clubs or something like that. Or if you want to take a personal tour of the ind.¡± ¡°You got a sister?¡± I asked, grinning over at him. Markughed. ¡°Man, that¡¯s not even cool!¡± he said. ¡°But no, I don¡¯t have a sister. Thank god, or else I¡¯d have to be worrying about her now that you¡¯re here on the ind. I¡¯ve just got a couple of younger brothers, though, and I guess you wouldn¡¯t be too interested in them. But I know a lot of the girls on the ind. Like I said, I¡¯ve grown up here. We had this big locals¡¯ luau the other night, and it was surprising how many of us showed up. Kind of like a big reunion. It was neat.¡± ¡°Sounds nice,¡± I said, already beginning to feel a bit bored. ¡°Do you surf, man?¡± Mark asked. ¡°Because that¡¯s another thing I could rmend, all the best surf spots on the ind. The waves this time of year, man. They¡¯re the best.¡± ¡°There¡¯s not much surfing around New York City,¡± I told him. ¡°Well, no shit, I imagine the water¡¯s fucking cold,¡± Mark said. ¡°But how much of the year do you even spend in New York? It seems like you¡¯re always off doing this or that.¡± Iughed. ¡°Unfortunately, I¡¯m usually traveling on business, so my days are pretty busy. I get my evenings free, but that¡¯s about it.¡± ¡°But you snowboard, right? There were all those stories about you and Jamie Michaels and that trip to the Alps.¡± ¡°I ski.¡± Mark gave me an astonished look. ¡°Man, what are you doing with your life?¡± he asked me. ¡°My dad skis, and he¡¯s practically ancient. Even when he was younger, he didn¡¯t go out partying like you do.¡± I shrugged. ¡°Yeah, I just like it. I¡¯ve tried snowboarding a few times, but it never really stuck.¡± ¡°You should try surfing while you¡¯re here,¡± Mark said. ¡°It¡¯s the best.¡± I shook my head, still grinning. ¡°Yeah, maybe I will,¡± I told him. We pulled up in front of my resort. ¡°Hey, here¡¯s my card,¡± Mark said, grabbing one out of the center of the dashboard. ¡°Seriously, man, if you need rmendations or a ride or whatever else, you just let me know.¡± ¡°Thanks,¡± I said, slipping the card into my wallet. It was a strange thing to have in there amongst the real estate cards and other misceneous things that I was starting to associate with my quote-unquote old life. Paul said that they would take me back, but I could already feel myself beginning to cut ties with that. I didn¡¯t think George would take me back. This leave might not be permanent, but that didn¡¯t mean that it wouldn¡¯t stretch on for as long as he chose. I grabbed my duffel bag and walked up to the resort. It was a nice ce, just as pretty as advertised. When I walked into the vast, tiled lobby, two Hawaiian women in h skirts swayed over to me and deposited leis around my neck. Iughed. ¡°What do you know, I gotid within an hour of reaching Hawaii!¡± I said. They must have heard it before, but both of them still giggled, and I felt my spirits rise a little. Maybe Hawaii would be everything that I needed. Maybe I¡¯d be able to get both of them in bed with me, together, even, by the end of my stay there. We¡¯d see. I made my way over to the desk and picked up my room key. The suite was spacious, and the decor matched the idea of a tropical paradise. Gauzy white curtains wavedzily beside open French doors on the far side of the living room, and I made my way over. The view was impressive, a long stretch of sandy beach with only a few umbres dotted along it, and leafy palm trees leaning toward the water. The waves were crashing against the shore, but it looked like the perfect ce to swim. The weather was perfect for it that day, too. I smiled a little to myself. Maybe this whole ¡°taking time off work¡± thing wasn¡¯t so bad after all. I turned toward the mini-bar and inspected its contents. There was an ice tray in the freezer; thoughtful of them. I poured myself a ss of whiskey on the rocks and turned back toward the view. Yes, this would do quite nicely. Episode Ninety-Four Gretchen¡¯s [POV] I looked up as I heard the bells chime over the door, a greeting already on my lips even though my first appointment wouldn¡¯t be there for another twenty minutes or so. They wouldn¡¯t be the first clients toe in early. It was unfortunate on that particr morning since I was trying to get some of the shop paperwork finished, but I could do itter, I supposed. My face melted into a smile when I saw that it was Mina there, though, and she had brought a bowl of fresh pineapple over with her. ¡°Good morning, darling,¡± she said,ing in for a hug. ¡°Good morning!¡± ¡°I thought you could do with some pineapple in your life,¡± Mina said, holding out the bowl and a fork. ¡°I could always do with some pineapple in my life,¡± I said, grinning at her. ¡°I am sick of pineapple,¡± Mina announced. ¡°I think I quit. I¡¯m not going to work there today; I¡¯m going toe to work for you. You could use an assistant, right?¡± Iughed. ¡°Sure, I could! Especially if it was an assistant who I liked.¡± Minaughed as well. ¡°Nah,¡± she said. ¡°You know I love what I do. I love that I can make people happy and give them a little taste of this tropical paradise that we live in. But some days, I do wish we could work together so that I could see a little more of you.¡± ¡°That would be nice,¡± I agreed. ¡°I¡¯m thinking that it would be nice to have an assistant. I¡¯m trying to fill out some of the shop¡¯s paperwork right now, and you know me. I don¡¯t have much of a head for business. I know enough to get by, but it¡¯s so painful trying to fill out these forms and pretend like I know what I¡¯m doing.¡± ¡°You do know what you¡¯re doing,¡± Mina said encouragingly. ¡°Or at least, you¡¯re the one I always turn to when I need to fill out shop paperwork!¡± Iughed. ¡°We¡¯re quite the pair, aren¡¯t we?¡± ¡°I guess I¡¯d better get back to my shop, and let you get back to the paperwork!¡± Mina said. ¡°I¡¯m sure it¡¯ll all be done soon.¡± ¡°See youter,¡± I said. Mina gave a little wave and left. Not two minutester, the phone started ringing, and I groaned. The paperwork was never going to get done before my first appointment for the day. Still, I picked up the phone, giving a cheerful hello. ¡°Hi, Gretchen, this is Cindy from over at the Golden Palm Resort. We have a guest here who was looking to make an appointment for a massage this afternoon, and I was wondering if you have any avability in your schedule.¡± ¡°Hi, Cindy; that shouldn¡¯t be a problem. I have an opening for either a one- or two-hour massage from 1 to 3 p. m. or time for a one-hour massage after 4 p. m.; which would they prefer?¡± ¡°Let me ask,¡± Cindy said. I could hear her conferring in muffled tones with the customer. Then, she came back on the line. ¡°He¡¯d like to do a two-hour massage at one o¡¯clock.¡± ¡°Great, I¡¯ll pencil him in. What¡¯s his full name?¡± ¡°Christian Wall.¡± ¡°Excellent. I¡¯ll be waiting for him. I¡¯m assuming you can give him directions to find me?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± She lowered her voice. ¡°But can I just say, you don¡¯t sound very excited?¡± I frowned, wondering what she expected. Did she think I¡¯d never given a massage to a guy before or something? ¡°I assure you, Cindy, I¡¯m excited about all of my customers, new and returning,¡± I said. ¡°All right,¡± Cindy said, not sounding convinced. ¡°My first client has just walked in the door, so you¡¯ll have to excuse me,¡± I said. ¡°But you can tell Mr. Wall that I¡¯m looking forward to seeing him this afternoon.¡± That afternoon, I hurriedly finished up the paperwork just before Christian came into the shop. Finally, I thought. God, I hated paperwork. I looked up as the bells chimed over the door, and my breath caught in my throat. Man, oh man, was he gorgeous. He had dark hair that he had styled into a swept-back, messy do. He was muscr, and he had tattoos swirling down his right arm. And those hazel eyes¡­ I swallowed hard. But the thing of it was, he no doubt knew that he was gorgeous, and he probably had an ego the size of the. I couldn¡¯t stand guys with huge egos. Anyway, at the moment, he was just another customer. ¡°Hi, and wee to Paradise Massage,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m Gretchen, and I¡¯ll be your masseuse today.¡± The guy gave me a once-over, and I could practically see the gears turning in his head. Yeah, he probably thought I was just dying to drop my panties for him. He could think again. ¡°I don¡¯t do happy-ending massages,¡± I warned him before he could even get something like that in his mind. He blinked at me for a moment and then burst outughing. ¡°Oh shit,¡± he said. ¡°Sorry, I didn¡¯t mean to be that obvious about it. Just, you¡¯re pretty hot, and I¡¯ve probably just got this whole thing off on the wrong foot.¡± ¡°Here¡¯s your robe,¡± I told him frostily, holding out the garment. ¡°If you want to go change in the room there, I¡¯ll be in in a moment to get started.¡± The man grimaced. ¡°Do I have to wear these?¡± he asked. ¡°I always find it¡¯s better to get a massage without clothes in the way.¡± I frowned at him, wondering just where he got off. But he held up both hands. ¡°That¡¯s not ae-on, I just actually feel that way,¡± he said defensively. ¡°And I have a lot of tension that needs to be worked out, so I want the best.¡± I sighed and finally relented. It wasn¡¯t as though he was some old pervert asking if I¡¯d give him a naked massage, after all. And I was kind of curious to see what those abs looked like without a shirt in the way. ¡°Fine,¡± I said. ¡°But don¡¯t tell anyone that I do this, okay? I keep a pretty upscale clientele, and I don¡¯t need anyone getting ufortable or thinking that I do more than I do, okay?¡± ¡°My lips are sealed,¡± Christian said. ¡°I hope it goes without saying, but you won¡¯t tell anyone about this either, will you?¡± ¡°Who would I tell?¡± I asked, baffled. ¡°Unless your girlfriend or someone is going toe in here tomorrow and ask about this, no, this goes no further than between us.¡± Christian snorted. ¡°I don¡¯t have a girlfriend,¡± he said. ¡°I don¡¯t have a boyfriend either,¡± I said. Then, I bit my lip. Jesus, why had I said that? He so didn¡¯t need to know that. And he didn¡¯t need another reason to hit on me. ¡°I¡¯ll just go strip down, then,¡± Christian said, nodding toward the other room. ¡°Come in when you¡¯re ready.¡± I closed my eyes and counted to ten, wondering how he had me this riled up already. I wasn¡¯t even sure if I was upset with him or lusting after him. It was a very strange, chaotic mix of feelings inside of me. I entered the massage room, d to find that he hadid down on his stomach first. It didn¡¯t mean that he wasn¡¯t going to roll overter in the massage and give me a full view of his manhood. But for now, maybe I could concentrate and get into the rhythm of the thing, remember that he was just another client. ¡°So, you¡¯re here in Hawaii on vacation, then?¡± I asked quietly, beginning to work my way up his body, feeling for the points that would need special attention. I paused when I reached his lower back, and it cracked in four ces before I¡¯d even really started adding pressure. ¡°God, you¡¯re tight.¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t I supposed to be saying that?¡± he asked. But his voice sounded fuzzy and a bit blissed out already. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m just here on vacation. I live in New York. The city, not the state.¡± ¡°Oh. Nice. What do you do there?¡± He let out a tight sigh. I wondered if maybe he was one of those people who didn¡¯t like to talk while having a massage. But then, he gave a little shrug of his shoulders. ¡°I¡¯m in real estate.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t realize you were that old,¡± I said teasingly. Christianughed. ¡°I¡¯m 36. You?¡±Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°29.¡± ¡°And you grew up here in Hawaii, or did you just move here?¡± ¡°Grew up here,¡± I told him. ¡°Lived here my whole life, and will probably live here for the rest of my life. There¡¯s nowhere quite like this.¡± ¡°How so?¡± ¡°You probably wouldn¡¯t appreciate it much,ing from the Big City, but it¡¯s peaceful here. Life happens at a different pace on the ind. You know, things happen when they happen, and no one gets too stressed when things happen nte. Plus, I get to do everything that I love here. I have my own business, and I get to surf and swim and run and do whatever else I want to do in my spare time. Somehow, I live the best life imaginable.¡± ¡°That must be a nice feeling to have,¡± Christian said, sounding a bit envious. I frowned at him. ¡°If you don¡¯t feel like you¡¯re living the best life that you could be, maybe you need to make some changes,¡± I told him. ¡°I know, I know, that¡¯s easier said than done. But there¡¯s no reason that you need to trap yourself in a life that you don¡¯t enjoy living.¡± ¡°I enjoy it,¡± Christian said, sounding a bit defensive. ¡°I don¡¯t always enjoy every aspect of it, but overall, it¡¯s great. So, you¡¯re a surfer chick?¡± he asked, changing the subject. Iughed. ¡°Yeah, my parents like to joke that I was born in the water. I love it out there.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve never been,¡± he said. ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll try learning it while I¡¯m down here.¡± ¡°You should,¡± I told him. ¡°Catching that wave and letting it carry you is an amazing feeling.¡± ¡°So is this,¡± Christian said, groaning a little as I hit a particrlyrge knot in his shoulders. ¡°Mmm,¡± I said. ¡°You must be stressed a lot. And you¡¯re not taking good care of yourself. You¡¯re wound up.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± Christian sighed. ¡°You¡¯re not the first person to point that out to me.¡± We were both silent for a moment. ¡°So, tell me more about Oahu,¡± Christian finally said. ¡°I¡¯m not sure how long I¡¯m going to be here, but what are the things that I can¡¯t miss doing or seeing?¡± Conversation flowed easily between us after that, and I slowly began to see past the initial impression that I¡¯d had of him. Maybe he wasn¡¯t such a jerk after all. Maybe that was some sort of act that he was ustomed to putting on. I couldn¡¯t help wondering what it would be like to sleep with him, though. When he turned over, his cock was half-hard from my ministrations, curving up toward his chiseled abs. I realized that despite what I¡¯d said about not giving happy-ending massages, I did want to get a hand on him and just feel his weight. I wasn¡¯t going to do that, of course; he¡¯d have to take me out on a couple of dates first if he wanted me to touch him. But all the same, I couldn¡¯t help wondering what it would be like to sleep with him. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Christian asked,zily opening one eye to look up at me, and I realized that I had stopped what I was doing. I blushed and went back to work massaging his massive thigh muscles. ¡°Nothing!¡± The man smirked a little, as though he knew exactly what I was thinking, and unfortunately, I had the feeling that he did. But he didn¡¯tment on it. Instead, he went back to the story he¡¯d been telling me about some ski trip that he¡¯d taken the previous winter. Finally, our two hours were up, and I reluctantly withdrew my hands from his body. ¡°That¡¯s it; you¡¯re all set,¡± I told him gently. We hadn¡¯t spoken for the past little bit, and although I¡¯d missed parts of our conversation, it had at least helped me concentrate a little better on what I was doing, and for that, I was grateful. Christian sighed a little and blearily opened his eyes. ¡°I think I was half asleep there,¡± heined. ¡°Your hands are like magic, woman.¡± Iughed a little. ¡°I¡¯ve been at this for a while,¡± I told him. ¡°I can give you a moment to rest if you want, but I do have another clienting in, so I need to go.¡± ¡°Nah, it¡¯s okay,¡± he said, swinging his legs over the edge of the table. He put his clothes back on as I tidied up the room, and I didn¡¯t miss the way he shuddered a little at the drag of fabric against his erection. ¡°Thanks for that,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ll be back.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be ready when you are,¡± I told him, smiling as I ushered him out of the massage parlor. I sighed as I watched him walk away. I honestly hoped that he would be back. It¡¯s always nice to have repeat business. But no, it wasn¡¯t that. Not only was he super handsome, but we¡¯d also just clicked well. He¡¯d been an ass at the beginning with the whole sex thing, but after that, I¡¯d just had a really good time with him. I shook my head and turned back to the shop. My next client would be there in just a few minutes, and I needed to focus on that. Episode Ninety-Five Christian¡¯s [POV] Mark grinned at me as I slid into the car. ¡°Looks like you enjoyed that,¡± he said. I snorted and buckled my seatbelt. ¡°Is it that obvious?¡± I asked. ¡°Your dopey grin could probably be seen from space.¡± ¡°Watch it, driver, or I may just have to hire someone else,¡± I said only half-jokingly. ¡°It was good, though?¡± Mark pressed. ¡°It was amazing,¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve ever had a better massage. Although to be fair, I needed this massage.¡± I rolled my shoulders. ¡°God, I feel loose.¡± I paused for a moment. ¡°And the girl, Gretchen. She was pretty attractive as well.¡± ¡°Yeah, she is,¡± Mark agreed. ¡°One of the hottest girls on the ind, probably.¡± ¡°You know her?¡± ¡°Everyone knows everyone on this ind, man,¡± Mark told me. ¡°I don¡¯t know her well; we¡¯re not close friends or anything like that. But we both grew up here, so.¡± ¡°Oh, yeah. That makes sense.¡± I was a bit disappointed, and I only hoped that I hid it well enough from my tone. Not, though. ¡°You were hoping I could give you the dirt on her?¡± Mark guessed. ¡°Yeah, something like that,¡± I said. ¡°Although to be fair, we already had a pretty long conversation, and I learned a lot about her.¡± ¡°Did you get her number?¡± Mark asked. ¡°Or better yet, did you have sex with her in the massage room?¡± ¡°No,¡± I said, suddenly wondering why I hadn¡¯t even bothered to ask for her number. Sure, I coulde back to another massage, but I would rather not. I supposed it must be because she seemed like too much work. I was sure that I could get any girl on the ind to go to bed with me, but she¡¯d expect me to take her to dinner a few times first and to take things slow. There would probably be lots of kissing and stuff like that before we ever got to the main attraction. I had never really been that kind of guy. ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll get her anyway, man,¡± Mark said, shrugging a little. ¡°You get all the girls, right?¡± ¡°All the sexy ones,¡± I said, grinning. ¡°Hey, why don¡¯t I take you out to one of the local bars tonight?¡± Mark suggested. ¡°We can chill, have a few drinks-¡± ¡°You can show me off to all your friends,¡± I said, guessing that that was the real purpose of the outing.Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Yeah, that too,¡± Mark said, grinning unabashedly. ¡°But I know a great little local ce, always a ton of hot chicks there. Maybe not quite Gretchen¡¯s level of hot, with her smoky eyes and all, but I¡¯m sure you¡¯d find someone to go home with.¡± ¡°That sounds like a good n,¡± I agreed. ¡°What time should I meet you?¡± ¡°This ce that I have in mind also does a mean Hawaiian burger with pineapple and cheese and stuff on it. Or also a fucking sexy surf ¡®n turf burger. And a bunch of other things. So, we could meet at, like, six and get dinner over there before getting drinks if you wanted to make a night of it. Or we could just meet a littleter and get drinks, up to you.¡± ¡°Burgers sounds great,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ll meet you down in the lobby at six.¡± ¡°Cool, cool,¡± Mark said. He winked over at me. ¡°I¡¯m excited to see The Great Christian Wall in action.¡± I snorted and punched his arm. ¡°Yeah, yeah, you freaky fanboy,¡± I said. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll be in fine form tonight.¡± Inside the hotel, I went straight to the concierge desk, leaning down against it. ¡°Mr. Wall!¡± the woman, Cindy, eximed, standing up to greet me. ¡°And how was your massage?¡± ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m here,¡± I told her. ¡°I¡¯d like to book the same for tomorrow, if possible.¡± I didn¡¯t need another massage so soon, but I just wanted to see Gretchen again. Maybe I¡¯d get her number this time. ¡°Gretchen¡¯s the best, isn¡¯t she?¡± Cindy said. ¡°I can call her up and see what her schedule is like. Is there anything else you¡¯d like to schedule for tomorrow, sir?¡± ¡°Nah, just the message is fine,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ll probably justze around on the beach again in the morning.¡± ¡°That sounds like a very good n,¡± Cindy said, as though I needed her input. I went upstairs to get ready to go out. Iy down on the bed, spreading out and getting myselffortable. Then, I slipped my hand down my shorts, closing my eyes and imagining that it was Gretchen¡¯s hand on me, her firm grip tugging at my member and bringing me quickly to full hardness. I groaned, surprised by how close I already felt. Then again, she¡¯d been teasing me for two hours, as I was spread out there on the table. I could only hope that she had been as turned on by it too. She¡¯d certainly been distracted by my cock more than once. I¡¯d caught her looking at it, her eyes wide and face filled with lust. I twisted my wrist on the upstroke, thumb ying with my slit, pressing against it and getting at the precum beading there. I could only imagine what an amazingy Gretchen might be. She had glorious muscles, and I remembered that she had said she ran and surfed and did all sorts of things like that. I bet she could ride me hard, giving as good as she got. I gasped a little at that mental image, of her bearing down on me right there in the middle of the massage parlor. Oh fuck, that was sexy. I came hard andy there for a long moment, just panting against the sheets. It had been a while since I¡¯de that hard just from my hand. I needed to getid. Fortunately, if Mark was telling the truth, I would have no problem finding someone to take home that night. Indeed, there were plenty of sexy women in the bar that evening, some even around the table that Mark led me over to. ¡°Well, man, this is the gang,¡± he said, gesturing around at the group. ¡°That¡¯s Sunny over there, and Michael next to her. And then Bobby and E and Sammy.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± Sunny said, tossing her blonde hair back. ¡°We don¡¯t expect you to remember that.¡± Iughed and scooted into the booth with them. ¡°Nice to meet you all,¡± I said. ¡°Nice to meet you,¡± one of the girls, I think it was E, I was already forgetting their names, told me. Her gaze was heated, and I could already tell she wanted to be the one to go home with me that night. I¡¯d have noints about that. For now, I turned my gaze toward the menu, scanning the options. ¡°So, how long are you in Hawaii for, man?¡± Bobby asked after we had ordered our burgers. ¡°Not sure,¡± I admitted. ¡°I¡¯m drifting around until the end of the year, so¡­¡± ¡°Yeah, we saw that press conference,¡± Sammy said. ¡°What was up with that? You don¡¯t seem like the kind of guy who apologizes for having fun.¡± I shrugged one shoulder. ¡°It¡¯s just work politics,¡± I said. ¡°One of the other owners of thepany thinks I¡¯m tarnishing thepany¡¯s image.¡± ¡°But without you, they don¡¯t even have apany image,¡± E said. ¡°I know that,¡± I said. ¡°I know that, and you know that, and somewhere deep down, they know that as well. Doesn¡¯t matter. He was being a dick about it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s so unfair,¡± E said, shaking her head. ¡°Yeah, well.¡± I didn¡¯t exactly know what to say to that. I had to wonder what they all did for a living. Mark was a cab driver, and between that and the way they were all dressed, almost like twenty-somethings on vacation, I doubted they were doing anything really meaningful with their lives at the moment. Probably just bumming around and waiting to catch the next big wave. Not that there was anything wrong with that. Sometimes, I kind of wished that that was the life I had chosen for myself. Then again, I did like having plenty of money in my bank ount. ¡°So, you lied to Kelly on The Latest about having a girlfriend?¡± Sammy asked. I snorted. ¡°I don¡¯t think I ever really told her that I had a girlfriend, just that I had someone who I was seeing,¡± I said. ¡°There¡¯s a big difference there.¡± There wasughter around the table. ¡°Man, I wish I could be you,¡± Michael said. A little whileter, after we¡¯d eaten, I found myself alone in the booth with E while everyone else danced or chatted at the bar. ¡°So, why Hawaii, anyway?¡± she asked. I shrugged. ¡°Because of the beautiful women, of course.¡± I winked at her and enjoyed seeing the way she blushed a little. ¡°Have you ever been with a Hawaiian woman before?¡± she asked. ¡°We¡¯re the bestys in the world.¡± I chuckled a little at how bold she was. I appreciated that in a woman. ¡°Is that so?¡± I asked. ¡°Maybe I¡¯m going to need a little demonstration, then, before I go back to frigid New York City.¡± ¡°That could happen,¡± E told me. ¡°Come on, let¡¯s go dance.¡± She got up and led the way toward the dance floor, her eyes never leaving mine as she swayed her hips to the beat. Iughed a little, enjoying the show, and slipped out of the booth to follow her. Jesus, a pretty girl in a red dress: what more did a guy need in life? But as I watched her spin around me, her hips gyrating and her hands moving with the rhythm, it wasn¡¯t her that I was thinking of. I wondered what Gretchen would look like, out dancing like this, with her hair falling loose. That tattoo on her thigh would peek out from beneath her dress, and she would look enticingly at me with those beautiful, baby-blue eyes of hers. At the end of the night, we would tumble out into the warm air and- I broke off that train of thought, wondering where exactly it hade from. That was the second time today that I¡¯d found myself fantasizing about the woman. The first time, I could forgive myself, especially since I¡¯d been thinking about her in an entirely sexual context. But not the second time. I frowned. It was almost as though I was starting to imagine a rtionship with her. Then again, maybe I was. That wouldn¡¯t be such a bad thing, would it? And it wasn¡¯t like I was going to be in Hawaii forever. If things went south, I would never have to see her again. I nodded a little to myself. Tomorrow, after my massage, I¡¯d ask her to go to dinner with me. And hey, maybe she¡¯d surprise me and let me take her home with me after just the first date. I tapped Mark on the shoulder and jerked my head toward the door. He followed me over. ¡°You¡¯re leaving already?¡± he asked when we could hear one another again. ¡°Yeah, I think so,¡± I said, shrugging a little. ¡°This has been a ton of fun, but I¡¯m just not feeling it tonight. Maybe I¡¯m still a bit jegged or something. I don¡¯t know. Anyway, I¡¯m going to walk home. I¡¯ll see you tomorrow, though.¡± ¡°Hey man, it¡¯s okay that you¡¯re not taking anyone home with you,¡± Mark said, slugging me lightly in the arm. I frowned at him. ¡°I know that,¡± I said. It was none of his business anyway. ¡°Well, have a good night,¡± Mark said, shrugging a little. ¡°I¡¯ll see you tomorrow.¡± Episode Ninety-Six Gretchen¡¯s [POV] I smiled to myself as Mina came into the shop again the following morning. ¡°Are you nning on making this a daily urrence?¡± I asked, arching an eyebrow at her. ¡°Are youining?¡± Mina asked, holding out a cup of coffee to me. ¡°I brought muffins. Not pineapple ones, either.¡± Iughed and gratefully epted the coffee.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°No, definitely notining,¡± I told her. ¡°It¡¯s good to see you, anyway. What¡¯s up?¡± Just then, the phone rang, and I grimaced, gestured for her to wait a moment, and answered it. ¡°Hi, this is Cindy from the Golden Palm Resort again,¡± she said. ¡°Christian was very impressed with your session yesterday.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I said, blinking. Then I frowned, wondering if she was calling just to tell me that. Christian had already basically told me as much himself, not that I wouldn¡¯t have been able to figure it out, either. ¡°Well, I¡¯m d to hear that.¡± ¡°He was so impressed by it that he¡¯d like to make another appointment with you. For today.¡± I couldn¡¯t helpughing. ¡°Okay,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m booked up for the afternoon, but if he can get here for 10 o¡¯clock, I can fit him in then. Otherwise, it¡¯s going to have to be tomorrow.¡± ¡°Let me put you on hold for a moment and ring his room to see,¡± Cindy said. ¡°Sure thing.¡± I waited for Cindy toe back on the line. ¡°Who is it?¡± Mina hissed. I shook my head and motioned for her to wait again, taking a bite of my muffin. ¡°Are you still there, Gretchen?¡± ¡°Yup,¡± I said. ¡°Excellent. Christian says he can be there by 10, so pencil him in for that.¡± ¡°Will do, thanks!¡± I hung up the phone and rolled my eyes at Mina¡¯s excited look. ¡°It¡¯s just a work call,¡± I told her, even though I was pretty giddy about the thought of working my hands over Christian¡¯s body another time. ¡°You never look that happy about a work call,¡± Mina used. I sighed. ¡°I had this super handsome guye in yesterday,¡± I told her. She practically squealed with excitement. ¡°That¡¯s great!¡± she said. ¡°What was his name? Did you get his number?¡± I shook my head. ¡°Mina, I¡¯m not about to date one of my clients,¡± I said. ¡°Especially since he wants to be a repeat client. And anyway, even if he weren¡¯t my client, he¡¯s from New York. He¡¯s here on vacation, and then he¡¯s going to leave again. I wouldn¡¯t want to get involved with someone who was about to leave; you know that.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not saying you have to start a rtionship with the guy,¡± Mina said, rolling her eyes. ¡°But you could at least sleep with him.¡± ¡°His ego¡¯s too big for that,¡± I said. ¡°He was a nice guy once we got talking, but I think he thought I was going to give him a happy-ending massage when he first walked in. What kind of a ce does he think this is?¡± Mina groaned. ¡°Gretchen. If some uber-hot guy wants you to touch his dick, why can¡¯t you just go along with it for once?¡± she asked in exasperation. ¡°Where¡¯s the harm in that? Live a little.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not that kind of girl,¡± I said, shrugging. ¡°And this isn¡¯t that kind of massage parlor.¡± ¡°He¡¯sing in at ten, though?¡± Mina asked, looking at her watch. ¡°That¡¯s in just ten minutes. Do you think I could hang around and see him?¡± ¡°Fine,¡± I said, rolling my eyes. ¡°But you don¡¯t get to say anything. You see him, and then you go sell some more pineapples, okay?¡± ¡°Yeah, yeah,¡± Mina said, shaking her head. We were just finishing up breakfast when Christian walked in, looking just as yummy as he had the previous day. ¡°Good morning,¡± he said, smiling at both of us. ¡°Good morning,¡± I said. I nced over at Mina, who was just staring at Christian, and I couldn¡¯t help grinning a little. Yeah, the man was gorgeous; I guessed Mina could see that as well. It wasn¡¯t usual for her to find herself speechless, but hey. ¡°This is my friend, Mina,¡± I said, nudging Mina forward. Mina giggled a little and shook his hand. ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you,¡± she said. ¡°And you,¡± Christian said, giving her his full, most charming smile. God, she had to be practically melting. I know I was, and I wasn¡¯t even the one directly receiving that smile. ¡°So, same room as yesterday?¡± Christian asked. ¡°Same as yesterday,¡± I confirmed. ¡°Thanks for breakfast, Mina, and have a great day.¡± ¡°You too,¡± she said, still sounding a bit faint. I shrugged a little and got ready for the massage. ¡°Your friend is cute,¡± Christianmented as I started the massage. ¡°A bit shy, maybe, but cute.¡± I snorted. ¡°Mina? Shy? No way! I¡¯m not entirely sure what¡¯s gotten into her.¡± Except that you¡¯re practically a Greek god walking into my massage parlor. ¡°How long have you known one another?¡± ¡°She¡¯s been my best friend for ages since we were kids,¡± I told him. ¡°And we¡¯re lucky enough to work next door to one another. She runs the pineapple shop next door. I get to see her all the time. More sotely. I think she must have been feeling that we weren¡¯t seeing enough of one another because she¡¯s been over here two days in a row now with breakfast for me!¡± ¡°Or she thinks you don¡¯t know how to take care of yourself, maybe,¡± Christian said, smirking up at me. Iughed. ¡°That could be, too,¡± I agreed. ¡°I probably have a better grasp on that than she does, though, if I¡¯m being honest. She¡¯s a brilliant woman and very creative, but she¡¯s a bit flighty, I guess.¡± ¡°I work in the same office as my best friend,¡± Christian told me. ¡°His name¡¯s Paul. He¡¯s a great guy. No matter what I do, he¡¯s there for me.¡± ¡°Well, yeah,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s what friendship is, right?¡± ¡°I guess so,¡± Christian said, sounding as though he was considering it. ¡°Mina and I would do anything for one another,¡± I told him. ¡°And I tell her everything, and she tells me everything as well. I probably know her better than I know myself. She¡¯s like a sister. The sister I would have chosen.¡± Christian smiled a little. ¡°Do you have any siblings?¡± ¡°Oh no,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m an only child. My parents decided I was too headstrong when I was a toddler, and they knew they were already going to be chasing me around for my whole life. They decided that one was enough.¡± Christianughed. ¡°Are they still chasing you around?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve settled down more now. But I¡¯m close enough that they could pop by at any time if they wanted to. And I go over there for dinner a lot.¡± ¡°That¡¯s nice.¡± Christian sounded like he was drifting off again already, but whether he was falling asleep or falling into his thoughts, I couldn¡¯t tell. ¡°What about you, do you have any siblings?¡± I asked, wanting to prolong the conversation. ¡°I did,¡± Christian told me. ¡°Next subject?¡± I cast around for another conversation topic, but his unwillingness to talk about his family had me wanting to know more. ¡°What are you going to get up to this afternoon?¡± I asked. Christian came back into the conversation at that, and I realized he had just been caught up in his thoughts. There was something there, I guessed, and I wondered what it was. But I wasn¡¯t going to ask. ¡°So, have you always wanted to be a masseuse?¡± Christian asked as I worked my way up his arm. I shook my head. ¡°Not exactly,¡± I said. ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure what I wanted to be, growing up. I just knew that I wanted to live here in Hawaii forever. I thought about being a yoga teacher for a while too, but I didn¡¯t like the idea of working for someone else¡¯s studio, and it¡¯s hard to get your clients if you just strike out on your own. Mina¡¯s the one who pointed me toward being a masseuse. I don¡¯t know how she came up with the idea, but I liked it immediately, went to school for it, and here I am.¡± ¡°You must have a background in business as well, to run your own.¡± ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°I know the basics. I took a night course for entrepreneurs. But I don¡¯t know all that much.¡± Iughed a little self-consciously. ¡°Whatever I¡¯m doing, though, it seems to be working.¡± I let my fingers linger on Christian¡¯s skin for a moment, reluctant to pull away again. ¡°I¡¯m afraid that¡¯s all we have time for again,¡± I told him. ¡°That went fast today,¡± he said, sitting up and rolling out his shoulders. ¡°It did,¡± I agreed. ¡°I like talking to you.¡± I blushed after I said it, hardly believing that those words hade out of my mouth. Not that they weren¡¯t true, but he would probably take that as an invitation to ¡°So maybe we should talk some more over dinner on Saturday night,¡± Christian suggested asking me out. I sighed and began tidying the room. ¡°I don¡¯t date clients,¡± I told him. If only it were that simple. ¡°Well then, I¡¯ll nevere back for another massage,¡± Christian told me, a devilish grin on his face. I frowned. ¡°I also don¡¯t date people who don¡¯t live here,¡± I told him. ¡°Do you ever even date?¡± Christian asked, and I gaped at him. ¡°You can¡¯t just-¡± ¡°I¡¯ll take that as a no,¡± he interrupted. ¡°Come on. It¡¯ll be fun. I¡¯m just asking because I¡¯d like to have somepany for dinner. I¡¯m not just trying to have sex with you or anything like that.¡± ¡°Not to be mean, but I don¡¯t believe you.¡± I sighed. Christian frowned and pulled on his shorts. ¡°Look, I may not be the best guy that you¡¯ve ever met, but you must realize that I would never do anything that you didn¡¯t want me to do to you.¡± ¡°I know.¡± I sighed again. ¡°But¡­¡± ¡°You¡¯re afraid you¡¯re going to want me to have sex with you?¡± Christian asked, raising an eyebrow at me. ¡°And that¡¯s a bad thing?¡± When he put it that way, it did sound a little ridiculous. ¡°I don¡¯t do one-night stands,¡± I told him. ¡°Then we¡¯ll make it a two-night stand,¡± he said. ¡°Or a three-night stand. Or¡± ¡°All right, all right,¡± I said, holding up both hands in surrender. ¡°I¡¯ll go. Leave me a message here and tell me when and where.¡± ¡°Good,¡± Christian said smugly. Then, he turned and sauntered out the door. He had only been gone for a couple of moments when Mina burst in. She must have been lurking by the windows, watching to see him leave. ¡°Do you realize who that is?¡± she eximed in a hushed tone, as though he might overhear us. I shrugged a little and went to check the messages on my phone. ¡°That¡¯s Christian Wall!¡± she eximed. ¡°Yeah, I know,¡± I said, not sure what the big deal was. ¡°You realize I take their full names down when I book the appointments, don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Jesus, you live under a rock, don¡¯t you?¡± she asked, rolling her eyes. She thrust her phone toward me, open to a news story about him. ¡°Holy shit,¡± I said, grabbing the phone from her. ¡°You don¡¯t think it¡¯s him, do you?¡± ¡°I told you a millionaire was going to walk through those doors one day,¡± Mina said. ¡°Only he¡¯s a billionaire. You got his number, right?¡± I paused and stared down at the phone for a long moment, hardly able to believe any of this. ¡°Actually,¡± I said, looking seriously up at Mina. ¡°I¡¯ve got one better than that. He¡¯s picking me up here for a date on Saturday. He¡¯s taking me to dinner.¡± Episode Ninety-Seven Christian¡¯s [POV] When it came down to it, I didn¡¯t date that many girls. There wasn¡¯t a reason to; after all, most girls practically threw themselves at me. The closest I came to dating anyone was meeting someone at a bar and buying a couple of paltry drinks for her. We all knew where the night was going to end, though; that was never a question. For some reason, things felt different with Gretchen. I called up Mark a few hours before the date. ¡°I need to get a suit tailored,¡± I told him. ¡°Oh,¡± Mark said, sounding a bit flustered. ¡°I know a good ce that I can take you to.¡± ¡°Good,¡± I said. ¡°Meet me here in twenty minutes.¡± When Mark pulled up in front of my hotel, I was already impatiently waiting outside, even though he got there a few minutes early. ¡°What do you need a suit for anyway, man?¡± Mark asked as we drove. I shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m going on that date tonight; remember, I told you about it?¡± I¡¯d asked him for rmendations about where to take Gretchen to. He¡¯d been a bit taken aback by that, especially when I¡¯d shot down his first rmendations, which were for a couple of cheaper, less formal ces. I supposed it didn¡¯t fit with his image of me for me to take a girl to a nice restaurant. All the media ever focused on were the clubs that I walked out of and things like that. It wasn¡¯t like I didn¡¯t have the money to ssh out if I wanted to, though. And anyway, I wasn¡¯t always such a yer. And I had a feeling Gretchen might appreciate going somece nicer. ¡°And, what, you didn¡¯t bring anything nice with you?¡± Mark asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically. I shrugged. ¡°I did.¡± God, I would sound like such a girl if I admitted that none of it seemed quite right. I was going to look sexy no matter what I wore. But I didn¡¯t want to wear a charcoal gray suit next to Gretchen, as tan as she was. It just wouldn¡¯t look right. Blue, on the other hand, might. I searched through the racks at the shop that Mark brought me to, fingering the material, pleased to find that it fit my standards pretty well. Of course, the material was all a lot thinner than what I¡¯d find back home, but that only made sense given the heat in Hawaii. I didn¡¯t want to wear something thick and coarse in 80-degree heat; that would be crazy. It got a little cooler at night, but not that much cooler. ¡°This is the one,¡± I said, pulling a navy-colored suit off the rack. ¡°Just need to get it fitted.¡± I nced over at Mark. ¡°You might as well pick something out too,¡± I told him. ¡°My treat. You¡¯ve been great while I¡¯ve been here, above and beyond what I would expect from a cab driver.¡± Mark raised an eyebrow at me. ¡°Who are you dating tonight: Gretchen or me?¡± he asked teasingly. I rolled my eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t go that way,¡± I told him. I stood still as the seamstress measured me and made some sketches in chalk on the suit. I frowned when I saw Mark was looking at in ck suits, though. ¡°Come on,¡± I told him. ¡°Unless you have a fucking funeraling up, when are you ever going to wear a ck suit?¡± Mark looked over at me, seemingly startled. Poor kid didn¡¯t know anything about fashion. I couldn¡¯t help rolling my eyes again. ¡°No one wears ck suits anymore, man,¡± I told him. ¡°Grey, or blue, or you¡¯re a surfer, you could probably pull off a coral jacket even if you wanted to. Just don¡¯t go with ck, of all things.¡± Markughed a little, shaking his head ruefully. Then, he bowed ironically. ¡°I defer to your judgment,¡± he said. Then, he frowned. ¡°But coral pink, man? Seriously?¡± I shrugged, much to the dismay of the seamstress. ¡°I mean, probably.¡± ¡°What about tan?¡± Mark asked. ¡°Boring,¡± I said, not even having to think about it. ¡°You don¡¯t know the women around here, though,¡± Mark said. ¡°And what, you do?¡± I asked, scoffing a little. It was a tease, but I could see from the expression on Mark¡¯s face that he didn¡¯t appreciate it. ¡°Rude, man,¡± he said. ¡°Sorry,¡± I said, only partly sincere. ¡°But seriously, what do I need to know about the women here? Women, are women no matter where you are, right?¡± ¡°Oh no,¡± Mark said, shaking his head. ¡°Your New York women are impatient. The New York women whoe down here book up their days with massages and beach appointments and they drink all day. It¡¯s just not anywhere near the same. Our women here, they¡¯re sweet. They¡¯re soft.¡± He paused. ¡°I don¡¯t want to tell you this because you¡¯re Christian Wall, of course, but know that Gretchen isn¡¯t going to fall into bed with you tonight. That just will not happen.¡± I frowned over at him. ¡°Yeah?¡± I asked. ¡°Yeah,¡± Mark said, sounding a bit more confident as he saw that I was listening to him. ¡°You can take her to a nice ce and everything, and girls like that, they respond well to money. You¡¯re going to have no problem impressing her and whatever. But don¡¯t expect that to automatically get her into your bed.¡± ¡°So, how do you get a sexy Hawaiian girl into your bed?¡± I asked, even though honestly, I didn¡¯t think I needed his advice on the matter. Mark shrugged, though, looking d that I¡¯d asked for his opinion. ¡°The thing to remember is that no matter how hot you think Gretchen is, she¡¯s just another woman at heart,¡± he said. ¡°Sure, she¡¯s just like other women here, she¡¯s independent, and she¡¯ll want you to remember that. And she¡¯s probably got a stubborn streak. But at the end of the day, the thing to remember is that she isn¡¯t so different from other women.¡± Iughed. ¡°You sound cynical, Mark,¡± I observed. He shrugged eloquently. ¡°I am cynical,¡± he said, giving me a knowing look. ¡°The girl you like still isn¡¯t putting out for you?¡± I surmised. I could tell from his grimace that she wasn¡¯t. ¡°Come on, get a suit,¡± I urged. ¡°You can take her out somece nice at some point, and I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll be all over you after that. We all know women love a sharp-dressed man.¡± Markughed. ¡°I could never afford to take her somece nice like that,¡± he said. I snorted. ¡°Are you asking for a raise?¡± ¡°Maybe,¡± Mark said cheekily, winking at me. I rolled my eyes but made a mental note of it. It wasn¡¯t like I couldn¡¯t afford to give him a little extra money, and he was a good driver. When I got to the restaurant that night, Gretchen was already there and seated. I grinned a little, remembering what Mark had said about her being independent and probably stubborn. I¡¯d probably expect most girls to still be hovering by the door, waiting for me to show up. But not this one. And I kind of liked that. I slid into the seat across from her, grinning. ¡°You¡¯re looking lovely this evening,¡± I told her, even though I¡¯d only given her dress a cursory nce. It was enough to get her blushing, though, and shyly ducking her head. ¡°Thanks,¡± she said, her eyes lingering on my suit. ¡°You look pretty handsome, yourself.¡± I grinned. ¡°Yeah, I figured I¡¯d get a new suit for the asion. Tailored just this afternoon. Cost a little bit of extra money to get the thing done on such short notice, but I figured you were probably worth it.¡± Gretchen grimaced a little. ¡°Honestly, I don¡¯t know what to say in response to that.¡± I shrugged a little and flipped open the menu. ¡°Have you ever been here before?¡± I asked. ¡°My driver rmended it.¡± ¡°I usually go out to ces that are a bit more rxed than this,¡± Gretchen said, looking around. She gave a little nervousugh. ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong, it¡¯s kind of thrilling to be here and all dressed up and everything, but this is just¡­wow.¡± Good, she¡¯s impressed with it. I wasn¡¯t sure why that mattered so much. ¡°Pick anything you want,¡± I said, waving toward her menu. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯m paying.¡± ¡°Um, thanks,¡± Gretchen said, biting her lower lip as she looked through the menu. ¡°Gosh, this ce is fancy. I don¡¯t even know what half the things on the menu are!¡± I snorted. ¡°Yeah, there is a lot of French on here,¡± I agreed. ¡°Which seems kind of silly since we¡¯re in Hawaii, but I guess maybe that¡¯s the kind of crowd they¡¯re trying to draw in.¡± The waiter came over, and we ced our orders. I frowned when Gretchen ordered a simple seafood pasta, one of the cheapest dishes on the menu. ¡°I told you, I¡¯m paying,¡± I reminded her. ¡°You can get something fancier than that.¡± Gretchen gave me a look. ¡°I don¡¯t want something fancier than that,¡± she said. I rolled my eyes. ¡°The one time in your life that you get to go to a fancy ce like this, you¡¯re going to stick to some in-Jane pasta dish? You could go for a good steak, or-¡± Gretchen stood up, frowning down at me. ¡°Look, I thought you seemed nice when I met you before, but you were kind of a pompous ass. And if that¡¯s how you¡¯re going to be, then honestly, I don¡¯t think I should be here.¡± She turned and stalked out of the restaurant, her floral dress fluttering after her. I could only stare after her for a moment, totally flummoxed, and then I got up as well, running after her. ¡°Wait,¡± I said, catching at her arm. It was a strange sort of role reversal from what I was used to. Usually, the girl was running after me, rather than this. I should feel embarrassed. Instead, I just felt uncertain about what had happened. Gretchen turned toward me, her hands on her hips. ¡°I¡¯m sure you can find ten different women in that restaurant who will be impressed by your money and connections and whatever else,¡± she said. I frowned at her. ¡°Yeah,¡± I agreed. ¡°But there¡¯s a reason I asked you on a date.¡± Gretchen snorted. ¡°I¡¯m sure there are at least five women in that restaurant who will be impressed with your money and who will alsoe home with you at the end of the night,¡± she said. ¡°I appreciate that you¡¯re just trying to getid, but-¡±N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. ¡°That¡¯s not it,¡± I interrupted. I frowned deeper and shook my head. ¡°Gretchen, you know I normally don¡¯t ask women out on dates.¡± ¡°So, what, I should feel special?¡± she asked, disbelief clear in her voice. ¡°That¡¯s not what I¡¯m saying,¡± I told her impatiently. ¡°So, what are you trying to say?¡± Gretchen challenged. I took a deep breath and then plunged into it. ¡°You know this ind better than me, right? You take me out somece. I¡¯ll still pay, of course. But let¡¯s go somece and get some decent food and just enjoy one another¡¯spany.¡± Gretchen gave me a doubtful look and then shrugged,ughing a little. ¡°Okay,¡± she said. ¡°Come on. But your suit is going to look weird at this ce.¡± I snorted. ¡°Better to be overdressed than underdressed,¡± I told her. ¡°Plus, it¡¯ll just be like prom, round two.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not going home with you at the end of the night,¡± Gretchen warned me, then pped a hand over her mouth, looking mortified at the words that had juste out of it. ¡°Okay,¡± I said easily. ¡°You seem more like a three-date girl anyway.¡± I winked over at her. ¡°Five dates,¡± she managed. ¡°You take me out for five dates, and I¡¯ll go home with you.¡± She looked embarrassed to have said that as well, and I couldn¡¯t helpughing. ¡°I¡¯m going to hold you to that,¡± I teased. I linked hands with her and let her lead me down the street to a little hole-in-the-wall burger ce that she knew. Eating a burger while dressed in a nice, new suit wasn¡¯t my idea of a good time. But it was hers, so I was all in. Episode Ninety-Eight Gretchen¡¯s [POV] I might have expected that Mina would be there on Monday morning, wanting every detail from the date. I rolled my eyes affectionately at her. ¡°You¡¯re obsessed,¡± I said. ¡°He¡¯s the hottest young bachelor in the country,¡± Mina said. ¡°ording to, like, five different magazines. And his money. I can only imagine what it must be like to date him.¡± I groaned. ¡°Don¡¯t remind me about his money,¡± I told her. ¡°That¡¯s all he wanted to talk about for the first, like, half an hour.¡±Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Oh, yikes,¡± Mina said. ¡°So, it didn¡¯t go well, then?¡± I sighed. ¡°It kind of did,¡± I admitted. ¡°It was almost as though we had two different dates, rolled into one night.¡± Mina looked confused; I shrugged. ¡°He took me out to the Bay Resort restaurant to start with,¡± I told her. ¡°We both dressed up nice and yeah, he just was kind of an asshole about his money and everything else. He acted as though it was a given that I was going to go home with him at the end of the night.¡± ¡°He is Christian Wall,¡± Mina pointed out. Then, she winced. ¡°Sorry. I know you¡¯re my best friend, and I should be on your side, just.¡± Iughed a little. ¡°Yeah, he¡¯s pretty attractive,¡± I agreed. ¡°I walked off from the first part of the date before we¡¯d even ordered our food or anything. It was as we were ordering our food. But he was just being such an ass about everything that I didn¡¯t want to be there anymore. That¡¯s when we started the second date. I took him to that little burger ce up the street from Bay Resort, Kathy¡¯s ce, even though I could tell that eating a burger while wearing a fancy suit wasn¡¯t his thing. He just went along with it.¡± Mina shook her head. ¡°You had Christian Wall on a date, and you just went for burgers?¡± she asked, sounding incredulous. ¡°You at least got a little dessert, right?¡± Iughed again. ¡°Mina, you know I¡¯m not that kind of girl,¡± I chided. I blushed a little. ¡°I told him that he had to take me on five dates before I¡¯d sleep with him.¡± ¡°So, are we countingst night as one date or two?¡± Mina asked, grinning slyly at me. I rolled my eyes. ¡°One,¡± I said. I paused, biting my lower lip. ¡°The thing is, I know he¡¯s going to be headed back to New York soon enough, and I don¡¯t want to get tied up with him, knowing that.¡± Mina groaned. ¡°Gretchen!¡± She sounded positively scandalized. ¡°You do realize that it¡¯s okay to just have fun with somebody, don¡¯t you? I mean, have fun and get your needs met! It doesn¡¯t all have to be about settling down and having kids and having a future or whatever else.¡± I sighed. ¡°Yeah, I know,¡± I said. ¡°But all the same.¡± ¡°You like him,¡± Mina said, realization lighting her eyes. ¡°Oh, wow. You like him.¡± ¡°No!¡± I said, a bit too quickly. ¡°You do,¡± Mina said, looking gleeful. ¡°You¡¯re afraid to sleep with him because you¡¯re afraid that you¡¯re going to start feeling attached to him, and you¡¯re not sure how to deal with that.¡± I scowled. For all that I might wish that things were otherwise, I had to admit that she was right. I didn¡¯t like the side of him that I¡¯d seen first, on Saturday night. I didn¡¯t need to hear him bragging about his money trying so damn hard to impress me. None of that mattered to me. But the guy who hade into my massage parlor twice now, the guy who had started to unfurl once we were over at Kathy¡¯s hole-in-the-wall burger ce. Yeah, I liked him. He was cute and sexy and funny and all the things that I wanted in a guy. And that was exactly why I couldn¡¯t sleep with him. Especially since he still wouldn¡¯t tell me how long he was going to be in Hawaii. Before I could respond to Mina, though, my first appointment of the day came in. ¡°Mrs. Harris, it¡¯s good to see you again!¡± I said, as enthusiastically as I could, moving around to give her a little hug. She was one of my regrs, once just a woman on her honeymoon, but she¡¯d been living there for six years now, and I¡¯d been with her every step of the way. ¡°Good morning, Gretchen,¡± she said warmly. ¡°And good morning to you too, Mina. How are you?¡± ¡°Wonderful,¡± Mina said, smiling at the woman. I could see in her eyes that this wasn¡¯t over, that we were going to return to the conversation about Christian again, but for now, I was grateful for the reprieve. ¡°I¡¯d better get back to the pineapple shop, though,¡± she said. ¡°I hear that things have been busy theretely!¡± Mrs. Harris said. ¡°Yeah, they¡¯ve been a bit nuts,¡± Mina said, running a hand back through her hair. ¡°It¡¯s all Gretchen¡¯s fault, of course; she keeps insisting to people that there¡¯s no better detox than a massage and a pineapple shake!¡± ¡°And she¡¯s right about that!¡± Mrs. Harris said, her blue eyes twinkling. I handed her the massage robe and showed her back into the second,rger massage room, leaving her alone for a moment to get situated. ¡°I hope I wasn¡¯t interrupting something,¡± she said as I came into the room. ¡°It looked like the two of you were altogether too serious, for once!¡± Iughed a little, wondering how much I should tell her. ¡°We were just talking about what we¡¯d donest weekend,¡± I finally settled on. ¡°Nothing serious, no.¡± ¡°Hmm,¡± Mrs. Harris said, humming contentedly as I began to massage the tension out of her. I already knew exactly where I was going to need to focus the message, no matter how often I told her that she was going to get a hunched back from swinging her grandchildren up into her arms so frequently, she was still going to keep doing that, probably for the rest of her life. ¡°So, what did you dost weekend, then?¡± she asked. ¡°What did you dost weekend?¡± I countered. Mrs. Harrisughed. ¡°The usual,¡± she said. ¡°I took Emmy and Lenore out to the beach on Saturday, and we made a day of it, with a pic and everything. Then on Sunday, Josh and I went golfing.¡± I smiled a little. ¡°Always the same,¡± I teased. ¡°Always,¡± she agreed. ¡°But it¡¯s good that way. If you have a good day, there¡¯s no reason not to keep repeating it, that¡¯s what I figure.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a good way to live,¡± I said. ¡°What did you do this weekend?¡± I frowned, trying to figure out how to answer. Before I could, the surprise of the century, Christian himself, poked his head into the room. ¡°Sorry to interrupt,¡± he said, not sounding sorry at all. Mrs. Harris¡¯ gaze was around to him in a sh. ¡°Christian Wall?¡± she asked, sounding shocked. Christian rubbed the back of his neck. ¡°That¡¯s me,¡± he agreed, sounding sheepish. ¡°Oh, just wait until the girls at the club hear about this,¡± she said, shaking her head. I grimaced. ¡°I¡¯m with a customer,¡± I told Christian coolly. ¡°Oh, don¡¯t mind me,¡± Mrs. Harris said. She grinned a little. ¡°You¡¯re my one celebrity free pass. I told my husband that after reading that piece in Voyeur about your charity work. I can¡¯t believe all the things that you do to help those disabled children.¡± If I wasn¡¯t mistaken, that was a hint of a blush on Christian¡¯s face. But he grinned, leaning his hip against the doorjamb. ¡°I bet I¡¯m sexier than your husband¡¯s celebrity free pass.¡± ¡°Oh, definitely,¡± Mrs. Harris agreed. She looked back at me over her shoulder. ¡°You know Christian Wall? Is that what you did this weekend?¡± It was my turn to blush. I didn¡¯t miss the innuendo in her words. ¡°It¡¯s not like that,¡± I protested. ¡°I know him. Mr. Wall has been in here a few times for a massage. But-¡± ¡°If you need to talk to him, don¡¯t let me stand in the way,¡± Mrs. Harris said. ¡°I did just want to borrow Gretchen for a couple of moments,¡± Christian said, ying up the charm factor. He winked at Mrs. Harris. ¡°I¡¯d be more than happy to have a portrait, or maybe a poster, sent over to your house for the inconvenience.¡± ¡°There¡¯s no inconvenience at all,¡± Mrs. Harris said, the traitor. She was practically shooing me out of the massage room. I stalked out into the reception area, careful to close the door behind me. ¡°What the hell was that?¡± I snapped. ¡°You can¡¯t just show up at my work and-¡± ¡°You never gave me your phone number,¡± Christian interrupted. ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure how else to contact you, except through the concierge desk at the resort, and that just seemed a little impersonal. And no one was going to buy that I needed another massage so soon.¡± I snorted. ¡°You were already pushing it,ing in two days in a row,¡± I agreed. ¡°I want to take you out again,¡± Christian told me. ¡°On a proper date.¡± He frowned. ¡°Okay, sure, the other night ended up being a pretty proper date, once I¡­¡± He rubbed the back of his neck again. Then, heughed a little. ¡°I¡¯m not usually this nervous.¡± I frowned, surprised by his raw honesty. ¡°You¡¯re nervous?¡± I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Christian folded his arms across his chest. ¡°I can¡¯t say that thest date was a resounding sess,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯d like to make that up to you if I could.¡± I blinked, wondering if this was the same guy who was sshed across all those magazines that Mina loved to read. ¡°How?¡± I asked. The thing was, I didn¡¯t want to go on another date with him. Maybe it was bad, but I just didn¡¯t think that we had that much inmon with one another. And the things that we did have inmon, like the fact that we were here in Hawaii, weren¡¯t the kinds of things that I cared about when it came to a rtionship. ¡°Come on,¡± Christian cajoled. ¡°Look, I know I didn¡¯t give you the best impression of me thest time. But let me make that up to you. I talked to Mark, he¡¯s my driver here and a great guy, and he gave me some rmendations. We can go get barbecue down on the beach and watch the sunset, and I won¡¯t wear a suit or anything like that.¡± His eyes coasted over my curves. ¡°You¡¯d still look sexy in a dress, but just a casual beach dress, nothing fancy. I promise.¡± I frowned. ¡°There have to be other women on this ind who would love to leap into bed with you,¡± I said. Mina, for one. For a moment, I debated sending him next door to see my best friend, who would probably love to do nothing more than take a tumble between the sheets with him. But for some reason, despite my uncertainty toward him, I felt a bit jealous of the thought of that. Oh, brother. ¡°All right,¡± I said before he could respond to that. ¡°Okay, you can take me out, just one more time though. If I walk away from this one, I¡¯m not going to see you again.¡± ¡°That¡¯s fair,¡± Christian said. He smiled down at me. ¡°I¡¯ll pick you up at 6 p. m. tomorrow, okay?¡± I watched as he started to leave the shop, not even bothering to wait for my eptance of that time. Just who did he think he was, anyway? But at the same time, I couldn¡¯t seem to argue with him. ¡°See you tomorrow,¡± I said faintly. Then, I shook my head and went back to the massage room, where Mrs. Harris was patiently waiting. ¡°These walls are very thin, you know,¡± she said, smirking like the devil incarnate. I didn¡¯t even know that it was possible to blush in all of the ces where I was currently blushing, but there I was. ¡°It¡¯s not going to lead to anything,¡± I said primly, resuming the massage where I¡¯d left off. ¡°All the same,¡± Mrs. Harris said, settling back against my ministrations. ¡°You might as well enjoy it, while you can. You know that he isn¡¯t going to be here forever, but that doesn¡¯t mean that you can¡¯t enjoy the time that you have. It¡¯s like that with a marriage too, you know.¡± ¡°That¡¯s basically what Mina said,¡± I admitted. ¡°She told me to just have fun with it.¡± ¡°Wise words,¡± Mrs. Harris said. Sheughed a little. ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong, I love my husband very much, but sometimes I wish that I¡¯d had a bit more fun when I was younger, and I think he does too!¡± Iughed a little at that, but even still, I couldn¡¯t help feeling a bit shaken by it all. Episode Ninety-Nine Christian¡¯s [POV] Markughed a little as he watched me fuss over which shirt to wear. ¡°What are you, a girl?¡± he taunted. I held the gray shirt up to myself, watching carefully in the mirror. Then, I held the blue shirt up to myself. ¡°Not a woman,¡± I said, a bit distractedly. ¡°But I like to look good.¡± ¡°Man, you are going to look good no matter which shirt you choose, and you know it,¡± Mark said, shaking his head. He paused and then offered, ¡°The blue one is better.¡± I grinned a little and then tugged it over my head, doing up the remaining buttons. ¡°What are you, a girl?¡± I quipped. Markughed again. ¡°You think you¡¯re finally going to seal the deal tonight?¡± he asked. ¡°Get some of that sexy Hawaiian ass?¡± ¡°I wish,¡± I groaned, already half-hard at just the thought of it. ¡°She says we need to go on five dates before she¡¯ll sleep with me, and unfortunately, I kind of believe that she might stick to that.¡± I shook my head. ¡°Fucking crazy.¡± ¡°Crazy,¡± Mark agreed, shaking his head in sympathy. ¡°But that¡¯s women for you, right? Can¡¯t live with ¡¯em, can¡¯t live without ¡¯em.¡± ¡°Exactly.¡± I paused. ¡°You think this barbecue ce is the ce to go?¡± I asked. ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Mark said. ¡°And I asked Jonie, she¡¯s one of my good girlfriends, and Jonie said that she¡¯d love to go there on a date, so I can¡¯t imagine a girl not liking it. Chill, but great food, and it¡¯s a bit romantic as well. You¡¯re going to have a great time.¡± ¡°Awesome,¡± I said, again, not sure why I cared so much to impress her. ¡°One more favor.¡± ¡°Shoot,¡± Mark said. I sighed, running a hand back through my hair, even though I had just styled it perfectly. Fortunately, the style was a bit messy, casual beach hair. ¡°Look, after the whole thing about money and everythingst time, I was just wondering if it would be okay for me to borrow the car tonight, rather than having you as my driver. I¡¯d still pay you like you were driving me, just I wouldn¡¯t want Gretchen to know. And you could stay here while I was out on my date until I brought the car back. Hell, order room service, watch something on pay-per-view. This is a nice ce, right?¡± ¡°Aw, man, you¡¯re smitten, aren¡¯t you?¡± Mark asked, a knowing look in his gaze. He nced around. ¡°Maybe I could have my girl over here, yeah?¡± Iughed. ¡°Yeah, sure, just do it on the balcony, or in the bathtub. I don¡¯t want you fucking in my bed.¡± ¡°Fair,¡± Mark said, looking pleased with my response. ¡°Yeah, no, totally fine.¡± He dug into his pocket and came out with the keys, which he tossed over at me. A little whileter, I felt like I was learning to drive all over again. I shook my head. It had been a while since I¡¯d driven myself anywhere. But it wasn¡¯t an unpleasant feeling; in fact, it was kind of nice to be there behind the wheel, with good music on the radio and a warm evening breeze on my face. I had asked Gretchen her address, so this time, instead of the impersonal task of meeting her at the restaurant, I could meet her at her home. I smiled a little to myself as I looked at the cute little ce. Then, I parked the car and got out. Sure, I could just honk the horn and wait for her, but something told me she would appreciate the extra effort of my walking up to the door to meet her. And maybe, just maybe, I¡¯d get myself invited inside. She had said that we wouldn¡¯t have sex until the fifth date, but that didn¡¯t mean we weren¡¯t going to fool around at all, surely. ¡°Hey,¡± Gretchen said when she answered the door, sounding a bit breathless, and I wondered if she had run to answer the door. I hid my smile and pulled her into a hug. ¡°Hey,¡± I said against her hair. Gretchen looked nervously around. ¡°I¡¯m not quite ready,¡± she admitted. ¡°Or rather, one of my clients just emailed me regarding an appointment for tomorrow, and I meant to get back to them first. Do you want toe in? Would you mind waiting for a minute or two?¡± ¡°No problem,¡± I said, entering the house feeling smug. Gretchenughed. ¡°I¡¯d give you the tour, but you¡¯re standing in most of the ce already,¡± she said, gesturing around the open-n home. It was small, but it was obvious from the colorful cushions on the sofa to the driftwood hung on the wall that every piece had been carefully selected by her. She waved a hand toward the kitchen. ¡°So, that¡¯s the kitchen, and this is the living room. And the hall. There¡¯s a bathroom over there, and then upstairs is my bedroom and the guest room.¡± Sheughed again, sounding even more nervous. ¡°It¡¯s not luxurious or anything, but, it¡¯s mine.¡± ¡°It¡¯s home,¡± I said, looking around, smiling a little. I shook my head. ¡°To be honest, I¡¯ve been living in my ce in New York for about six years now, and it still doesn¡¯t feel homey.¡± I grimaced. ¡°It feels like it¡¯s alle out of a catalog.¡± Gretchen grinned. ¡°Yeah, I think a lot of bachelor pads end up that way,¡± she said. ¡°We don¡¯t have that many bachelors here on the ind, but-¡± She pped a hand over her mouth, and I couldn¡¯t helpughing. ¡°You¡¯re adorable when you¡¯re flustered,¡± I told her. She blushed brightly, looking even more flustered, and I wanted to say things like that again and again, just to keep her looking like this. ¡°Myputer is upstairs,¡± she told me. ¡°Okay,¡± I said easily. ¡°I¡¯ll wait down here.¡± I thought that was a good line. I didn¡¯t want her to feel like I was intruding. I¡¯d make it to her bedroom. I knew, but there was no reason to rush things. ¡°Okay,¡± she said, looking relieved, and I knew that I had made the right decision. I mentally high-fived myself. Dinner went well, and then we found ourselves back at her house. Gretchen wasughing, taking off her heels even before we were halfway across the parking lot. ¡°I have sand everywhere,¡± she confessed. ¡°Pretty sure it¡¯s in my mouth, even.¡± I smiled over at her. She¡¯d had a few cocktails with dinner, and I could see the effect of them on her, in the way that she was giggling and easy. But I¡¯d also had enough to drink that I was a bit tipsy. ¡°Yeah, me too,¡± I told her, concerning the sand. I grimaced. ¡°Good thing I didn¡¯t wear a suit for this one.¡± Gretchen giggled. ¡°Yeah, that would have been a bit out of ce,¡± she agreed. She shook her head. ¡°Honestly, I didn¡¯t even know that ce existed. Thanks for showing it to me. I¡¯m sure my parents are going to love it, next time they¡¯re in town.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. ¡°They don¡¯t live around here?¡± I asked curiously. ¡°Nah,¡± Gretchen said, shaking her head. ¡°I¡¯m born and raised here, but as soon as I went to college, my parents moved back to California. My mom missed her family, and both of my grandmothers still live there. So.¡± ¡°Do you ever get back to see them?¡± I asked. ¡°Yeah, a few times a year,¡± Gretchen said. ¡°I don¡¯t go back for Christmas usually because the flights at this time of year are insane, even though most people are trying toe to Hawaii rather than leave it. But still, it¡¯s not worth it. I was just there a month or two ago, though, and I¡¯ll take another trip there in the spring.¡± ¡°You must miss them,¡± I said, even though I wasn¡¯t sure why I was tempering her giggly humor with such depressing thoughts. ¡°Yeah, I miss them,¡± Gretchen said easily, though. ¡°But I get to live here.¡± She spread her arms and twirled around, losing her footing for a moment in the sand. I reached out to steady her. ¡°Easy there,¡± I said. I couldn¡¯t see, with the dim lights what they were, but I was pretty sure she was blushing. ¡°Thanks,¡± she said. She paused. ¡°You know, I¡¯m usually not this drunk.¡± ¡°And you usually don¡¯t sleep with people before the fifth date,¡± I said seriously. I couldn¡¯t help it; that was all that I could think about at the moment. We¡¯d had a good conversation over dinner, and I was starting to realize that not only was I sexually attracted to her, but I also just simply liked her, as a human being. ¡°I feel like we¡¯ve been on a lot more than two dates,¡± Gretchen admitted as we walked toward her home. I was thankful that the restaurant hadn¡¯t ended up being that far away, it had meant that I could drink guilt-free at dinner. I should have brought Mark out with me, but oh well. Toote for that now. If Gretchen wouldn¡¯t let me stay the night, I¡¯d just have to pay for an Uber to bring him out to me, and then I¡¯d have him drive me home. Otherwise, I was sure he¡¯d enjoy having my suite to himself for the night. I leaned in and kissed Gretchen on her doorstep, pinning her against the door. For a long moment, we stayed like that, our lips sliding cautiously against one another¡¯s. Usually, I would take control of a kiss, dominating it and forcing my way into her mouth. Then again, usually, I would expect her to open herself to me, to be practically begging for it, before I¡¯d even done anything. But Gretchen wasn¡¯t like the girls who I normally took home with me. There was something delicate about her. Nothing wascking in her passion, though. She finally opened her mouth to me, as though she had decided in her mind, and she pressed up against me, her armsing up to twine around my neck. I slotted a leg between hers and listened to the way that she groaned, softly, against my lips, as though she needed so much more than that. She probably did. If she was waiting for a guy to take her on five dates before he went home with her. ¡°I¡¯m going to stay over,¡± I told her, pulling back to lean my forehead against hers. ¡°I owe you three more dates, but I¡¯m going to stay over.¡± ¡°Yes,¡± she agreed, sounding just as breathless as me. She smirked at me, though. ¡°They¡¯d better be good dates, though.¡± ¡°They¡¯ll be like tonight,¡± I told her. ¡°But to different ces. I promise.¡± I only hoped that Mark had enough rmendations for good ces to take her, but I had to assume that he did. He had lived there his whole life, after all. I smiled and leaned back in to capture her lips. Episode One Hundred Gretchen¡¯s [POV] I didn¡¯t know why I was inviting Christian inside. The date had been great, and I still had Mina¡¯s, and Mrs. Harris¡¯, words in the back of my mind. Just have fun with it. I knew there was nothing wrong with this, but at the same time, I wasn¡¯t the kind of girl to have sex with a dude after only a couple of dates. I should be holding out, out of respect for myself. Or something like that. But at the same time, with his hands tracing hot lines down my curves, I couldn¡¯t seem to pull away from him. ¡°Are you sure about this?¡± He was sweet enough to ask as we tumbled through the front door. I shook my head. ¡°No,¡± I told him honestly. ¡°Not at all.¡± Surprisingly, that made Christian pause. ¡°Maybe we should-¡± ¡°No,¡± I said, already desperate for the feeling of his leg in between mine. I could only imagine what it would feel like to have his fingers touching my mound. I blushed at the very thought of it. Christian smiled down at me, brushing my hair back. ¡°You¡¯re beautiful,¡± he said seriously. Iughed nervously, ducking my head a little. ¡°You say that to all your girls?¡± Christian frowned. ¡°Look, I know my reputation precedes me, but I¡¯m not everything you think I am.¡± ¡°Sorry,¡± I said. ¡°I imagine it must be difficult being you. Knowing that everyone knows all your business.¡± I trailed, wondering why I was saying this, now of all times. Was I actively trying to make sure we didn¡¯t end up having sex? But Christian smiled at me again. ¡°Yeah,¡± he agreed. ¡°It is a bit difficult. But all the same, I have a pretty awesome life. Especially when it means that I can treat a sexy girl like you to dinner.¡± And there we were, back around to the sex thing. I could almost sigh with relief as he leaned back in, kissing a heated trail along my jawline and down the line of my throat. I tilted my head back to give him better ess, needing more, and heplied, licking and sucking at the delicate skin there, sending heat pooling between my legs. Christian¡¯s arms came around me, and he scooped me up, pressing me back against the wall. I wrapped my legs around his waist, groaning at the feeling of his erection already straining to be free of his jeans. ¡°Bed,¡± I gasped out between kisses, squirming a little so that he would set me down. There were too manyyers of clothing between us, but I knew that if we started stripping off here, we¡¯d probably never make it to the bed before we coupled. ¡°Where is it?¡± Christian asked, though, beginning to carry me upstairs, making me giggle. ¡°Those muscles aren¡¯t just for show?¡± I asked teasingly. I nodded my head toward the room on the left. ¡°It¡¯s in there.¡± ¡°Good,¡± Christian growled, his voice gone husky with lust. He nudged open the door with his foot and brought me inside, tossing me gently down onto the bed and then crawling on top of me. He slid his fingers under my shirt and pulled it off over my head. Then, he groaned softly and stroked a hand over the ck,cy bra that I¡¯d put on even though I hadn¡¯t expected that we would end up here together at the end of the night. It had been meant to make me feel confident and sexy for the date, but it was nice to see his appreciation of it as well. Still, he didn¡¯t leave it on for very long, reaching expertly around behind me and unhooking the sp. I suddenly realized that here I was, half-naked already, and I hadn¡¯t even got his shirt off yet. I reached for his buttons, clumsily beginning to undo them, and Christian pulled away, moving to stand next to the bed. ¡°Strip,¡± he said, doing just that himself. He winked at me. ¡°Easier this way.¡± Iughed and slid my skirt off, pausing with my hands on my panties. I bit my lower lip, feeling a bit of uncertainty again. ¡°Hey,¡± Christian said, crawling back onto the bed in just his boxers and covering my body with his own. ¡°We won¡¯t do anything that you don¡¯t want to do,¡± he told me firmly. I gasped and rocked my hips toward his as his erection slotted between my legs, pressing against me with only those two flimsyyers of fabric between us. ¡°Please,¡± I whimpered. ¡°I want this.¡± Christian¡¯s response to that was to kiss me again, nipping at my lower lip so that I would allow him to slip his tongue into my mouth. Slowly, his hands traced their way down my sides, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Then, he began to follow that same path with his mouth, pausing for a moment to ce kisses on each nipple, making me arch and squirm against the sheets. He grinned up at me for a moment and then moved his mouth lower, kissing past my navel and finallying to rest between my legs. He ced a soft kiss on the front of my panties, grazing his teeth lightly across my clit. I gasped again, tangling my fingers in his hair. He reached up and slipped his fingers into the waistband of my panties, drawing them down off me in one fluid motion. Then, he continued to trail kisses across my skin, tasting the smooth folds between my legs and then carefully stabbing his tongue inside of me. At that, I practically writhed. ¡°Please,¡± I managed, the sound more of a broken sob than anything else. Christian smirked devilishly at me and then moved his way back up my body, aligning his thick erection against my entrance and pushing slowly inside. I sighed softly once he was fully seated inside of me, feeling better than I had in a while. Christian smiled and pressed a soft kiss into my shoulder. Then, he began to move his hips, rocking them steadily, giving me short little thrusts that hit at exactly the ces that I needed to feel him. As he thrust into me, he continued to tease his hands across my skin, tracing lightly enough that it was just on this side of tickling me. I whimpered, tangling my fingers in the sheets and feeling as though at any moment, I might fly apart into a million pieces. ¡°Come for me,¡± Christian whispered roughly into my ear, and I cried out as I did just that. Christian groaned and continued to use me mercilessly, driving me through my orgasm and leaving me gasping for air, clinging to him. But his rhythm soon faltered, hips stuttering, and I could tell from his expression that he wasing in wave after wave of pleasure as well. He copsed against me, afortable weight, and then he rolled off to the side, dragging me over and into his arms and kissing my hair. ¡°Fuck,¡± he said. ¡°That was incredible.¡± He rubbed his hand down my arm. Then, heughed a little. ¡°That was the fastest I¡¯vee in a long time,¡± he admitted. I blushed a little, suddenly remembering all the other girls that he had been with. Remembering that this wasn¡¯t special for him in the way that it was for me. And sure, maybe he hadn¡¯te that fast in a while, but that didn¡¯t mean that the sex had been particrly mind-blowing.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. I knew I shouldn¡¯t be thinking about it, but I had to wonder where I stacked up against the rest of them. And I hated thinking like that. I rolled away from him, looking back over at him and biting my lower lip. ¡°You didn¡¯t strike me as the kind of guy who wants to cuddle after sex,¡± I told him. That was true. Christian winced. ¡°I don¡¯t always,¡± he told me. ¡°But, are you asking me to leave?¡± I shrugged a little, trying to pretend that this didn¡¯t matter, that none of this had mattered. Because I knew that must be how he was viewing this situation. I slipped out of bed, unable to stand it anymore. ¡°I have work early tomorrow morning,¡± I told him, faking a yawn as I scooped up my discarded panties and pulled them back on. I put my hair up in a ponytail and went over to my dresser, digging out a shirt to sleep in. ¡°Okay,¡± Christian said slowly, getting out of bed as well and beginning to put his clothes back on. He seemed uncertain, as though he didn¡¯t know this part of the routine, and maybe he didn¡¯t. Maybe the stories weren¡¯t to be believed, and maybe he did spend the night normally. More likely, he¡¯d just always been the one kicking the girl out, rather than the other way around. I tried to ignore the unhappy feeling in my stomach and the way my mind was telling me that if he had been willing to stay, why couldn¡¯t I just ept that? ¡°I think we shouldn¡¯t see one another again,¡± I told him as he finished buttoning up his shirt. I couldn¡¯t quite look at him as I said that, and I hoped he would get out of there before I started crying. I wanted this, but I couldn¡¯t keep doing this to myself if I knew that I was never going to be anything more than just another fuck for him. Christian paused, staring at me for a long moment as though he might understand me better if he just thought about it long enough. But finally, he shook his head. ¡°Yeah, fine,¡± he said in a clipped tone, nodding at me. Without another word, he walked out, shutting the door with some finality behind him. I breathed out a slow breath and then crawled into bed, pulling a pillow against my chest. Episode One Hundred & One Gretchen¡¯s [POV] Mina was waiting outside the massage parlor when I showed up on Wednesday morning. I snorted and epted the coffee that she handed me. ¡°I want to know all the details,¡± she told me, breezing into the shop behind me once I¡¯d unlocked the front door. ¡°You have, what, an hour until your first appointment? I want to know all the details.¡± Iughed a little, even though inside, I was wondering if maybe I shouldn¡¯t regret having told her about the follow-up date. I¡¯d needed her opinion when it came to outfits, though; sometimes, it felt as though she knew my wardrobe better than I did. She knew which outfits would make me look sexy. ¡°Come on, don¡¯t be coy,¡± she told me, shaking her head. ¡°You had a good time?¡± ¡°I had a good time,¡± I allowed. ¡°I actually should take you to that restaurant sometime; I think you¡¯d like it. It¡¯s down on the beach, and it¡¯s just barbecue. Like, you order whatever it is that you order, and they bring all your ingredients over to your table and cook them for you, kind of like Korean barbecue. But with, like, pineapple and stuff, so-¡± ¡°Okay, no offense,¡± Mina interrupted, holding up both hands to forestall my babbling. ¡°But I don¡¯t care about the food.¡± Iughed at how direct she was, but that was one of the things that I loved about her. ¡°Yeah, okay,¡± I said. ¡°But it is a great ce. And then we went from there back to my ce and¡­¡± I trailed off, cheeks ming. ¡°Holy shit,¡± Mina said, her eyes widening. ¡°You fucked him, didn¡¯t you?¡± I blushed brighter. ¡°I hate that word,¡± Iined. ¡°Fucking just sounds so-¡± ¡°Okay, okay,¡± Mina said, shaking her head, a grin on her face. ¡°You made love to him, didn¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I mumbled, picking at the hem of my sleeve. Mina whistled lowly. ¡°You fucked-sorry, sorry-made love to Christian Wall.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, shrugging a little as though it was no big deal. Mina frowned, peering at me. ¡°You don¡¯t sound too happy about that,¡± she pointed out. I swallowed hard and turned away from her, feeling traitorous tears pricking at my eyes. ¡°It¡¯s not like that¡¯s ever going to happen again.¡± ¡°Aw, honey,¡± Mina said, sweeping me into her arms. ¡°I¡¯ve heard some stories about him,¡± she said. ¡°Did he kick you out of bed afterward?¡±N?velDrama.Org owns this. ¡°I kicked him out,¡± I told her, not sure why I was so tearful about the whole thing. ¡°You did what?¡± Mina asked incredulously. I couldn¡¯t helpughing at her expression, a little watery sound. ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, shaking my head. ¡°We slept together, and-¡± ¡°Was it that bad?¡± Mina asked, sounding scandalized. ¡°No, it was good,¡± I told her. ¡°It was really good,¡± I said, coughing lightly. ¡°So, he¡¯s good in bed?¡± Mina asked, a wicked gleam in her eye. ¡°I haven¡¯t slept with that many people,¡± I reminded her. I swallowed hard. Minaughed. ¡°You don¡¯t have to sleep with that many people to realize that someone is a goody,¡± she said. She cocked her head to the side. ¡°You enjoyed it.¡± ¡°I enjoyed it,¡± I admitted. ¡°But then I started thinking, afterward. I know he¡¯s going to leave. There¡¯s not even a question of that. He¡¯s going to go back to New York, and he¡¯s going to¡± Mina groaned. ¡°Gretchen. I thought we talked about that,¡± she said. ¡°I know, I know,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m getting ahead of myself. And I shouldn¡¯t be, but you know me, Mina. I¡¯m just not the type of girl to sleep with someone once and then never sleep with them again. And I like him. He¡¯s arrogant and a little obnoxious, but I like him, for all of that. We click.¡± Mina shook her head as well. ¡°I feel like I should be happy that you¡¯ve finally gotten over Lino, but you don¡¯t seem happy. More confused.¡± She pulled me into her arms. ¡°So, you kicked him out of your bed?¡± she asked after a moment. Iughed and nodded. ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, grimacing a little. ¡°I have never been that rude to anyone before. And there was something about the situation. Anyway, I just needed him to get out of there.¡± ¡°Aw, man,¡± Mina said. ¡°I wanted things to be different for you.¡± Sheughed a little. ¡°Not least of which because if you married a billionaire, can you only imagine what would happen to our shops?¡± ¡°Speaking of our shops,¡± I said, frowning. That¡¯s right. It was time to get down to business. ¡°What have you done?¡± Mina asked, looking cautious but also interested. ¡°I haven¡¯t done anything yet,¡± I told her. ¡°But I woke up this morning to a message from one of the hotel concierges. One of the women from Trinity Resort. They¡¯ve got a couple there who wants to get a massage done together, this afternoon, and she was wondering if that was something that we could do here.¡± ¡°Did you call her back yet and remind her that, oh yeah, you¡¯re only one person?¡± Mina asked. ¡°I mean if they don¡¯t mind waiting.¡± ¡°I was thinking,¡± I said slowly. ¡°Uh oh,¡± Mina said, but she still looked interesting. ¡°I know the pineapple business is going well,¡± I said. ¡°But they were looking to get the massage done this afternoon, and I know that you¡¯ve got helping in. I thought that maybe you could join me over here.¡± Mina stared at me for a beat and then burst outughing. ¡°I don¡¯t know the first thing about massage,¡± she said. Iughed as well. ¡°Sure, you do,¡± I said. ¡°Maybe you think that you don¡¯t, and maybe you aren¡¯t ssically trained or anything like that. But you¡¯ve massaged me, remember? And you¡¯ve done wonders for my shoulders. Besides, a lot of massage is just about mimicking. You just need to nce over every once in a while and see what I¡¯m doing and copy that. Couples massages are so easy.¡± Mina bit her lower lip. ¡°I don¡¯t want to screw things up for your business,¡± she said. ¡°And I know you don¡¯t need any extra money or anything, with the pineapple shop taking off,¡± I said, trying to make my voice sound soothing. ¡°But seriously, it would be that easy. I wouldn¡¯t be asking if I didn¡¯t think that you could do it.¡± Mina frowned and then moved around behind me, her handsing up to my shoulders and resting there for a moment before she started to knead at the tissue there. I couldn¡¯t help groaning. ¡°Just like that,¡± I said, letting my head loll forward. ¡°Oh fuck. You¡¯re going to be a better masseuse than I am.¡± Minaughed and then withdrew her hands. ¡°Are you sure?¡± she asked. ¡°So sure,¡± I said confidently. I didn¡¯t wait for further confirmation from her before I called the hotel back, letting them know that we could amodate the Jensons that afternoon. I kept my eyes trained on Mina the whole time, and even though she had a slightly bemused smile on her face, she didn¡¯t protest. Good. ¡°What do we do now?¡± Mina whispered to me as the Jensons changed into their massage outfits. I couldn¡¯t helpughing a little. ¡°Rx,¡± I advised. ¡°We¡¯ll give them a couple of minutes, and then we¡¯ll go in there and get the massage started. Start at their feet; they¡¯re tourists, so their feet are probably really tired. And then just work up their legs, through their back, and their shoulders. You¡¯ve got this.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t believe I let you talk me into this,¡± she said, shaking her head. ¡°You¡¯re going to be great,¡± I said confidently. ¡°I¡¯m going to let you have Mrs. Jenson; just don¡¯t be too firm with her, all right? But as long as you can get her to rx a little, she¡¯ll probably be easy.¡± Mina sighed a little but followed me into the massage room and got to work. ¡°So, the two of you are just here on vacation?¡± I said, smiling at Mina¡¯s startled look. What, did she think all my massages were conducted in strict silence? I couldn¡¯t even imagine how awkward that would be. Mrs. Jenson giggled a little. ¡°It¡¯s our honeymoon,¡± she said. ¡°Oh, wow,¡± I said, surprised. ¡°We were married to other people first, if you can believe that,¡± Richard Jenson told me,ughing as well. He reached over and tangled his fingers into his wife¡¯s fingers. ¡°We were both married, and we each had four kids. But then we found one another.¡± He whistled an appreciative note. ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong, my first wife, Helen, is an incredible woman. But I¡¯ve never felt anything like what I feel for Trish.¡± Trish giggled a little. ¡°Same for me,¡± she admitted. She nced back at me. ¡°You must know that feeling, though. When it feels like everything in the universe has somehow aligned to bring you to the right ce and the right people.¡± I shook my head, as much as I might wish it was otherwise. I looked over at Mina, who was expertly working her way up Trish¡¯s legs, soothing the no-doubt sore muscles there. Tourists always pushed themselves too hard; they didn¡¯t seem to understand that Hawaii was a ce toe to rx. ¡°Maybe I¡¯ve got a certain friend who¡¯s like that for me,¡± I said, and Mina shed me a smile. ¡°It must be so great, to work together with your best friend,¡± Trish sighed. I grinned, winking over at Mina. We didn¡¯t exactly work together, but they didn¡¯t need to know that. ¡°It is great.¡± I agreed. ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll each find husbands at some point, too,¡± Richard said. Mina snorted, and I gave her a warning look. I knew her views on love and marriage, but she didn¡¯t need to be spoiling this couple¡¯s honeymoon with her cynicism. Fortunately, though, she just said, ¡°At the rate, we¡¯re going, I think we¡¯re both more likely to end up living together in some elderly care home, with too many cats and too many stories!¡± ¡°Sometimes, that¡¯s the best way to do it,¡± Trish said. The conversation moved over to their ns for the rest of their trip, but I couldn¡¯t quit thinking about what Mina had said. I knew deep down that I shouldn¡¯t have kicked Christian out of bed the night before. He had made no signs that he was going to leave, and the foundation of any rtionship was trust. If I could trust him to know what he wanted, it would be different. But I had told him it was best that we never see one another again, and he hadn¡¯t even argued with that. I had blown it this time. I suppressed a sigh and tried to focus on the conversation, but there in the back of my mind, I was starting to feel guilty. Episode One Hundred & Two Christian¡¯s [POV] I was doing my best to forget about work and just enjoy the fact that I was there in Hawaii, but at the same time, I knew I needed to keep up with the news so that when I eventually did return, I would know what had been happening. And there was part of me that was just curious as well. I took a deep breath and opened myputer, tapping away at the keys to bring up thetest. Wow, despite my absence, or maybe because of my absence, thepany was doing well. Surprisingly well. Our stocks had never jumped this high before. I pulled out my phone, debating on whether to call Paul. But I knew he was just going to reassure me that, of course, they weren¡¯t trying to phase me out of thepany or anything like that. I couldn¡¯t help thinking, though, that with these numbers, something was up. They were certainly proving that they didn¡¯t need me. And I could only imagine the way that things might dip once I came back if I was the reason our numbers had been so low before. For all that I had always maintained that I was the face of thepany and that they needed me, I was starting to wonder if that was true. I shut theputer and set it off to the side, moving over to the pool and diving into it, keen on forgetting about work through physical exertion, if that was what it would take. When I resurfaced, I was surprised to see Gretchen crouching at the side of the pool waiting for me. ¡°Nice dive,¡± shemented, grinning crookedly at me. I raised an eyebrow at her, pausing to tread water. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I wanted to be a bit blunter than that and remind her that she¡¯d been the one to say that we should never see one another again, but I figured she already knew that just as well as I did. Sure enough, she looked a little uncertain and bashful. ¡°I came to see e you, actually,¡± she said. She coughed lightly. ¡°I don¡¯t have work today, and I was thinking that I could take you to that nice ce that I wanted to take you to if you were interested. It¡¯s not a ce that many tourists know about, so you probably haven¡¯t been there yet.¡± I frowned at her and decided just to be blunt. ¡°Thought you didn¡¯t think we should see one another again,¡± I said. Gretchen ducked her head a little, toying with a bit of her hair. ¡°Yeah, um.¡± She chewed on her lower lip and then blurted out, ¡°I owe you an apology for that.¡± Iughed, deciding to take pity on her. ¡°Yeah, sure,¡± I said, swimming over to the edge of the pool. ¡°What kind of ce is this? Do I need to get changed out of my swim trunks?¡± ¡°No, but you probably should throw on a shirt,¡± Gretchen said, obviously eyeing my abs as I pushed myself up out of the pool. ¡°Think you¡¯ll get distracted otherwise?¡± I asked, winking at her. She rolled her eyes but didn¡¯t protest, and I took it that that was exactly what she was thinking. I grinned. ¡°I¡¯ve got to bring myputer upstairs,¡± I told her. ¡°Should I call my driver?¡± ¡°I was thinking we could rent scooters,¡± she said. ¡°If you¡¯refortable with that.¡± ¡°Yeah, that sounds fun,¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯re going to have to be patient with me because I have hardly driven in the past five years or so, let alone driven a scooter, but-¡± ¡°It¡¯s easy,¡± Gretchen said confidently. ¡°And we can take it slow.¡± When we got to the waterfall, I could immediately see why she was so eager to show it to me. ¡°Oh, wow,¡± I said as we walked up to it. We¡¯d parked our scooters and had a short hike to get out to whatever it was that she had wanted me to see. What I now saw was a cascading waterfall, with a beautiful little pool down at the bottom of it. ¡°I brought lunch,¡± Gretchen also said, swinging off her backpack. I shook my head, struck by the sudden urge to kiss her. I pulled her into my arms for a moment, even though as warm as it was, we were both a little sticky from the hike. ¡°This is amazing,¡± I told her. Gretchen smiled almost shyly up at me. ¡°I¡¯m d you like it,¡± she told me. ¡°I always love showing people around here.¡± She shrugged a little. ¡°It¡¯s my home, and I¡¯m proud of it.¡± ¡°You should be,¡± I said, looking with wonder at the waterfall. Then, I stripped off my shirt. ¡°Come on, let¡¯s go for a swim before we eat. I¡¯m hot after the hike.¡± Gretchenughed and nodded. ¡°Yeah, sounds like a good idea,¡± she said, stripping off her dress and revealing a sexy ck swimsuit underneath it. We swam around a little and then pulled ourselves out of the water, sitting on some of the rocks next to the pool. ¡°I can¡¯t believe there aren¡¯t more people here,¡± I said, looking around. To think that it was this beautiful, and yet we had it all to ourselves. ¡°Yeah,¡± Gretchen said, smiling happily. ¡°This is one of the best-kept local secrets, I think. During the summer, you sometimes will get tourists out here, but for the most part, I think they just stick to the beaches. So, it¡¯s a special ce.¡± I munched on one of the sandwiches that she¡¯d brought; Gretchen picked at hers a little. ¡°I don¡¯t know for sure,¡± she said slowly, ¡°but you seemed kind of down when I came to get you from the hotel. Is everything okay back home?¡± I blinked over at her in surprise. ¡°Wow, you¡¯re good,¡± I said. Then, I narrowed my eyes teasingly. ¡°How long were you watching me, anyway?¡± Sheughed. ¡°I wasn¡¯t creeping or anything like that,¡± she said. ¡°But I guess as part of the massage stuff that I do, I¡¯m pretty well-trained at noticing things like that from people¡¯s expressions and bodynguage.¡± ¡°That makes sense,¡± I said. ¡°I guess I have that with people as well; it¡¯s what makes me so good at all the PR and stuff like that. And the actual selling part. I can always tell when a couple is ready to buy a house or not. Well, almost always.¡± ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± Gretchen asked. Then, she blushed. ¡°If it¡¯s okay that I¡¯m asking. If you don¡¯t want to talk about it, that¡¯s fine too. But, I¡¯m here to listen if you need me.¡± I sighed. ¡°It¡¯s nothing big,¡± I said. ¡°Probably I¡¯m just overthinking all of it. But I have the very real fear that thepany doesn¡¯t need me, and the longer I¡¯m away, the more I¡¯m proving this to them.¡± ¡°From everything that I¡¯ve read, though, and that isn¡¯t that much, just Mina sent me some articles and told me that I¡¯d better know at least a little about you if I was going to date you.¡± She paused, looking sheepish. Then, she forged onwards. ¡°From everything that I¡¯ve read, though, you¡¯re, like, the face of thepany, aren¡¯t you? I doubt they¡¯re going just to get rid of you. If they were going to, they would have done it sooner; they wouldn¡¯t have just sent you on an extended vacation, right?¡± ¡°Problem is, it¡¯s in thepany¡¯s bws that if they want to get rid of me, they either need to disband thepany entirely or buy me out. We all knew they weren¡¯t going to be able to buy me out, and of course, they don¡¯t want to disband thepany.¡± I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair. ¡°The thing is, I always thought that they needed me. I thought that. But the longer I spend here, the more I¡¯m starting to realize that that isn¡¯t the case.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± Gretchen asked. ¡°Did one of your coworkers say something to you?¡± ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°Paul, he¡¯s one of the co-owners, one of my best friends, he keeps assuring me that they¡¯re more than ready to wee me back as soon as I¡¯ve sorted things out in my life and got all the partying and stuff out of my system.¡± I frowned. ¡°Thing is, I haven¡¯t even really been doing any partying here. I¡¯ve gone out for a couple of nights.¡± I shook my head. ¡°Anyway, that¡¯s neither here nor there.¡± ¡°So, why are you so sure they don¡¯t need you?¡± she pressed. My mouth twisted. ¡°It seems that in my absence, thepany is doing better than it ever has with me there. I looked at the stocks this morning, and¡­¡± I shrugged. Gretchen shook her head. ¡°But that could be because of anything,¡± she said. ¡°Like the fact that I¡¯m not there giving them bad press every week,¡± I said bitterly. ¡°Or the fact that the country has been recovering from a recession for a long time and the economy is currently on an upswing,¡± Gretchen suggested. ¡°I¡¯m seeing better business at my shop now than I ever was before, and Mina is too. People are traveling more, and that also means that people are probably buying houses and things like that now that they have the money to do so.¡± I smiled over at her. ¡°You could be right,¡± I allowed. ¡°But what if-¡± ¡°Even if you think that your bad press, as you called it, was tarnishing thepany¡¯s reputation before, there¡¯s no reason why your going back to thepany has to be detrimental,¡± Gretchen interrupted. ¡°You gave your apology. You said that you were going to be going away for a while to get things out of your system. If you go back and you don¡¯t get yourself into those same messes that you¡¯ve been getting caught up in¡­¡± I sighed and shook my head. ¡°But that¡¯s the thing,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m not sure that I can promise that. I¡¯ve been doing good down here, but once I get back, I¡¯m afraid that I¡¯m going to fall back into the same patterns that I¡¯ve been falling into for years now.¡± Gretchen frowned at me. ¡°That could happen,¡± she agreed. ¡°Or, if you want to make a change, you know you can make that change. You just have to want it enough. If yourpany isn¡¯t motivated enough to clean up your act, then nothing is going to change.¡± She blushed. ¡°Sorry, I know it¡¯s not my ce to say that to you.¡± ¡°No, that¡¯s fine,¡± I said, stopping her apologies. I reached over and squeezed her hand. ¡°Honestly. It¡¯s easier said than done, I guess.¡± ¡°Of course, it is,¡± Gretchen said. She smiled at me. ¡°But I do think that you can do it.¡± ¡°I appreciate that,¡± I said. I turned back to the water for a moment, considering. Then, I shook myself a little. ¡°I know I¡¯m just overthinking things. I¡¯m sure things will be fine when I get back there, but¡­ Yeah.¡± I nced over at Gretchen. ¡°Thanks for listening. And seriously, thanks for bringing me here.¡± Iughed, feeling a bit self-conscious to admit, ¡°I didn¡¯t think I was ever going to see you again, and that was also bumming me out this morning.¡± Gretchen rolled her eyes. ¡°Come on. You don¡¯t have to lie to me,¡± she said. ¡°I know you could get any girl on this ind. You would have forgotten about me by the end of the week, if not by the end of the day.¡± I frowned over at her. ¡°As I said, the ¡®me¡¯ who¡¯s here is not the ¡®me¡¯ who I have been back in New York.¡± ¡°Good,¡± Gretchen said, even though I could see in her eyes that she still wasn¡¯t sure that she believed me. She paused. ¡°You know, in the spirit of continuing to see one another, there¡¯s going to be a luau on Monday that you might want toe to.¡± She paused. ¡°It¡¯s going to be mostly locals. I¡¯m going to know everyone there, and you¡¯re going to be the outsider, but it will be great.¡± I snorted. ¡°What, you don¡¯t think that the famous Christian Wall can handle a crowd of people?¡±Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. Gretchenughed with me. ¡°Sorry, that¡¯s not what I meant to imply,¡± she said, shaking her head. ¡°It¡¯s just we don¡¯t get many tourists over to our luaus. But they¡¯re a ton of fun, and I like showing you my Hawaii.¡± I reached over and caught her hand in mine, lightly stroking my thumb over the back of her hand. ¡°I like seeing your Hawaii,¡± I told her. ¡°I really do.¡± Episode One Hundred & Three Gretchen¡¯s [POV] Mina hopped up onto my porch the morning after I had taken Christian to the waterfall. She wrinkled her nose when she saw me. ¡°Reading again,¡± she sighed, shaking her head. Iughed and put a bookmark in my book, setting it off to the side. ¡°Reading again,¡± I confirmed. Mina frowned at me, peering over at me. ¡°You¡¯re happy,¡± she used. I raised an eyebrow at her. ¡°Should I not be?¡± Mina rolled her eyes. ¡°You know what I mean,¡± she said. Iughed again and rolled out of the hammock. ¡°So, I guess we¡¯re having brunch?¡± ¡°Of course, we are,¡± Mina said, as though it was a given. ¡°You have the day off, and I didn¡¯t see you at all yesterday. Where did you disappear to, anyway? I came over here to bother you on my lunch break, and you weren¡¯t even here.¡± ¡°Sorry that I can¡¯t always be there for you, darling,¡± I said. ¡°But where were you?¡± Mina asked. ¡°Running errands?¡± I paused. ¡°Well.¡± I led her through the house to the kitchen and began pulling out yogurt and fruits and some frozen hash browns that I had cooked up a few weeks before, in a massive batch. ¡°I was with Christian,¡± I told her. Mina¡¯s eyebrows shot toward her hairline. ¡°You were, were you?¡± she asked, smirking. ¡°I thought you weren¡¯t going to see him again. How did you exin to him about having kicked him out of bed?¡± I sighed. ¡°We didn¡¯t discuss things. I just went over there to his hotel and apologized.¡± ¡°I can guess how eloquent that apology was,¡± Mina said, a grin tugging at her lips. ¡°And then?¡± ¡°I took him out to the waterfall,¡± I told her, shrugging a little. I paused. ¡°We had a nice day together.¡± ¡°Sex?¡± Mina asked, always straightforward. I shook my head. ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I want to yet. I just want to show him the real Hawaii, if he¡¯s going to be here for a while. I can tell that he needs that.¡± ¡°So, you¡¯re going to see him again?¡± I blushed. ¡°Yeah, actually,¡± I told her. I popped a piece of peach into my mouth, chewing slowly. ¡°I invited him to the luau on Monday night.¡± I expected Mina to look excited at that, but instead, she frowned, narrowing her eyes at me. ¡°Are you sure that¡¯s a good idea?¡± she asked. I shrugged. ¡°I know there are probably going to be people there who recognize him and whatever, but I don¡¯t think that¡¯s going to matter, is it? Our parties are pretty low-key, and it¡¯s not like the media are going to pop up and surprise him or something like that. I¡¯m surprised because I don¡¯t think there¡¯s been any coverage of him since he came down to Hawaii. It¡¯s like the media is respecting him or something.¡± ¡°Are you stalking him?¡± Mina¡¯s eyes twinkled. She was back to frowning after just a moment. ¡°The thing is, you know that Lino is probably going to be at the luau.¡± I frowned as well. ¡°I hadn¡¯t thought about that.¡± I shrugged though. ¡°Aren¡¯t you the person who¡¯s always telling me that I need to get over Lino?¡± I asked. ¡°Nothing is going to show him more clearly that we are over as me showing up with another guy, right?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not about showing him that you¡¯re over him,¡± Mina said, still thinking about what she wanted to say. ¡°Doesn¡¯t it seem kind of like you¡¯re throwing it in his face? Thest thing you want is to start a scene.¡± ¡°What, you think he¡¯s going to start a fight or something?¡± I asked incredulously. ¡°I know that we have history and whatever, and I know that you think he¡¯s an asshole, but I don¡¯t think he¡¯s about to deck Christian or anything like that.¡±Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Probably not,¡± Mina agreed. ¡°Just¡­¡± She sighed and shrugged. ¡°I can¡¯t tell you what to do, and you know Lino better than I do. Maybe everything will be fine. But be careful. There are a lot of people on the ind who still don¡¯t know why the two of you broke up and all of that.¡± ¡°They shouldn¡¯t have to know why we broke up,¡± I snapped. Mina held up both hands. ¡°Hey, I know that,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m just trying to remind you that everyone thought you guys were perfect for one another. There are a lot of people who aren¡¯t going to understand why you¡¯re gallivanting around with Christian Wall and bringing him to our local luau.¡± I frowned and then shook my head. ¡°I just want to show him my Hawaii,¡± I finally said, shrugging. ¡°Anyway, I¡¯ve already invited him. I can¡¯t un-invite him now.¡± ¡°In that case.¡± Mina grinned at me, a gleam in her eyes. ¡°You¡¯re going out on a date with Christian Wall, and you¡¯re going to need a new dress. Which means that today, we¡¯re going shopping.¡± Iughed and shook my head, but I might have known that that would be her reaction. ¡°All right, all right,¡± I told her. ¡°Let¡¯s finish breakfast first, though.¡± We managed to find a dress at the first store that we went to, a slinky, sky-blue number that made my tan look especially nice. ¡°God, I¡¯d kill to have curves like you,¡± Mina said as we sat there in the salon getting our nails done. Iughed. ¡°Yeah?¡± I asked. ¡°You¡¯ve got the skinny beach babe look going on; I don¡¯t see why you¡¯reining.¡± ¡°I could never wear a dress like that, though,¡± Mina said, nodding toward the shopping bag at my feet. Sheughed. ¡°It would honestly just fall straight off.¡± ¡°Yeah, but some of the things that you can wear I could never wear.¡± I protested. ¡°And you get to go on the arm of Christian Wall.¡± Mina sighed. ¡°Some girls have all the luck. Don¡¯t get me wrong, I¡¯m happy for you, but I am also envious of anything.¡± Iughed, but I quickly sobered. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m lucky,¡± I agreed. ¡°But at the same time, I know this all has an expiration date. It feels a bit like a Cindere story, you know? Pretty soon, the ball is going to be over, and I¡¯m going toe back down to reality.¡± ¡°And that¡¯s why you kicked him out of your bed?¡± Mina surmised. ¡°Yeah, to be honest,¡± I admitted. ¡°I just started thinking about all the other girls who he¡¯s been with, and the fact that this was just another fuck for him. And that he¡¯ll be headed back to New York in a couple of weeks, and then there will be however many more women, and-¡± ¡°Oh, honey,¡± Mina interrupted. ¡°You can¡¯t think like that. Remember what we were saying about your books and that whole line between reality and fiction? True love doesn¡¯t exist; the most we can do is just have a little fun with things. There¡¯s no problem with you just having some fun with Christian right now. Show him around, if that¡¯s what you want to do. Sleep with him, maybe, if you want to do that. But don¡¯t get too attached to him.¡± ¡°I know,¡± I said. ¡°I just don¡¯t know how not to get attached. I¡¯m not like you, Mina.¡± ¡°At least you know when the so-called expiration date is,¡± Mina pointed out. ¡°For a lot of couples, they just never know that kind of thing, and when the endes, they¡¯re totally surprised as well as upset.¡± ¡°He doesn¡¯t know when he¡¯s going to leave Hawaii,¡± I said miserably. ¡°For all I know, it could be tomorrow.¡± ¡°It had better not be tomorrow,¡± Mina said, and I could hear a steely note in her voice. ¡°He¡¯d better at least stay through the luau because you just bought a killer dress to wear to it. If he stands you up, I swear I¡¯ll go after him, even if it means I have to dodge angry hordes of media to do it!¡± Iughed a little. ¡°I don¡¯t know what I¡¯ve done to get such a great best friend,¡± I said happily. Mina shrugged. ¡°I know you¡¯d do the same for me,¡± she pointed out. ¡°Definitely,¡± I agreed. We sat there in contented silence for a long moment. Finally, Mina looked over at me, a gleam in her eye. ¡°If you don¡¯t want to fuck Christian again, I definitely wouldn¡¯t mind having your sloppy seconds on that one.¡± I burst outughing, knowing that she didn¡¯t mean it. She would never do that to me, especially not when I¡¯d admitted to having feelings for him. ¡°Keep dreaming, girl,¡± I told her. ¡°But hey, maybe once he¡¯s back to New York, his tales of beaches and luaus and pretty girls will send some of his fellow billionaires down. You can get the next one.¡± Episode One Hundred & Four Christian¡¯s [POV] When Gretchen walked into the hotel lobby on Monday evening, she looked stunning. She was always a beautiful girl, but this dress, in particr, was incredible. It did nothing to disguise her luscious curves, and the color was perfect next to her darkplexion. I was d I¡¯d gone with the loose, white tunic and khaki shorts; we were going to look amazing standing next to each other. I grinned an d pulled her into my arms, kissing her once on each cheek. ¡°Hey babe,¡± I told her. ¡°There aren¡¯t enough words in the universe for how gorgeous you look tonight.¡± Gretchen blushed noticeably, which honestly was such an adorable reaction to being told she was beautiful. ¡°Thanks,¡± she said shyly. Iughed. ¡°I can¡¯t be the first person who¡¯s ever told you that,¡± I said teasingly. ¡°I can¡¯t even be the first person who¡¯s told you that tonight, or if I am, it¡¯s only because the other guys were all too shy to say it!¡± She giggled a little, blushing even worse. ¡°Shall we?¡± was all she asked, though, cocking her head to the side. I draped an arm around her shoulders and led her out to the parking lot, where Mark was waiting for us. He opened the car door and ushered Gretchen inside, mouthing wow at me as she climbed in.N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. My thoughts exactly. I reached over and caught Gretchen¡¯s hand as we drove along. I wasn¡¯t normally the hand-holding type, but there was something about being there with her, with her in a dress like that, that just made me feel like I needed some sort of contact with her. When we got to the beach where the luau was being held, we found that there were already quite a few people there, milling around and getting things set up or else just mingling. I grinned as I looked around, realizing that I was the only non-local there, at least for now. ¡°I¡¯m honored that you¡¯ve brought me here with you,¡± I murmured lowly to Gretchen. ¡°I¡¯m d she has as well,¡± Mark said, grinning crookedly. ¡°Means that I get paid to hang out at a luau for the night!¡± Iughed and aimed a swat at the back of his head, which heughingly ducked. ¡°Yeah, yeah, get out of here,¡± I told him. ¡°Go have some fun. Maybe get a girl; the cab has a front seat that she can sit in, after all.¡± Mark snorted. ¡°I¡¯ve known all of these girls since we were kids, though,¡± he said. He shrugged a little. ¡°I could never hook up with another Inder; I know too much about them.¡± He winked and wandered off, though, quickly attaching himself to a group of friends. ¡°So, now what?¡± I asked Gretchen, only partially teasing. ¡°Now we get a drink, and then I guess I introduce you to some people,¡± she said, smiling up at me. ¡°Come on.¡± We grabbed drinks, and then Gretchen steered me over toward the group. I vaguely recognized her friend Mina from before, at the massage parlor. ¡°Hey everyone,¡± Gretchen said, greeting them all with a wave and a smile. The group paused whatever it was that they were talking about and stared over at me. ¡°Who¡¯s this?¡± one of the guys finally asked. Minaughed. ¡°It¡¯s Christian Wall, the real estate exec,¡± she said. ¡°Duh.¡± One of the guys raised an eyebrow, looking at Gretchen. ¡°You know these luaus are mostly for the locals to get together and see each other,¡± he said, a disapproving note in his voice. ¡°I know that,¡± Gretchen said, tossing her hair a little. ¡°But Christian and I have been hanging out a bit while he¡¯s here in Hawaii, and I¡¯m trying to show him the real Hawaii, the ces that the tourists don¡¯t normally see. Do you have a problem with that?¡± ¡°Wouldn¡¯t he have more fun at the clubs?¡± someone else muttered under their breath. I winced and held up my hands. ¡°Look, if you guys don¡¯t want me here, I can leave,¡± I said. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to intrude or anything like that.¡± ¡°Come on,¡± Mina said, stepping into the middle of the circle. ¡°We don¡¯t own the beach. And we get other tourists over here all the time. If he wants to have some fun and chill out with us, we can¡¯t just kick him out.¡± There were mixed looks from the group, but finally, the first guy who had spoken sighed. ¡°All right,¡± he said, putting his hands up. ¡°But if you pull anything douchey¡­¡± ¡°Not what I n to do,¡± I said tightly. ¡°So, how long are you here in Hawaii for?¡± one of the guys, Rob, asked me. I shrugged. ¡°I¡¯ll probably head back to New York after the New Year,¡± I said, ncing over at Gretchen to see her reaction. But her smile didn¡¯t falter. She was proving to be a tough one to crack. I still didn¡¯t know what had happened after we had sex or why she¡¯d stille back to find me a couple of dayster, but I was starting to wonder just what the deal was. I liked it though. It kept me on my toes. ¡°That¡¯s a nice little vacation,¡± Vicky said. Iughed. ¡°It¡¯s been a very nice little vacation,¡± I agreed. ¡°I almost wish that I never had to leave. The pace of life is so different here,pared to New York. It¡¯s so much calmer. I¡¯m enjoying it.¡± I tightened my arm around Gretchen¡¯s shoulder. ¡°And I¡¯ve been enjoying this one¡¯spany, as well. Not just in the massage parlor; she took me out to some waterfalls the other day too. It was incredible.¡± There were smiles all around at that one. ¡°I¡¯m d you¡¯re getting out and seeing different ces,¡± Mina said. ¡°We are very lucky to live in such a beautiful ce.¡± ¡°Amen,¡± was the chorus all around. Later that evening, after the food had been eaten and I had drunk my way to a pleasant buzz, I sat with Gretchen down on the beach, staring out over the waves. ¡°It is pretty here,¡± I said quietly, almost reverently. ¡°It is,¡± Gretchen agreed. ¡°And I know we don¡¯t get more tourists over to this area because it¡¯s a little bit of a drive from the hotels and everything else. But honestly, I think these beaches are nicer than some of the other beaches in the area. I love them, but I¡¯m sure it¡¯s partly also that there are just so many good memories tied to these beaches.¡± She nced back over her shoulder. ¡°I didn¡¯t go to Luaus for most of the year, and when I finally came back, it was likeing back to the family. I know everyone, and they know me, and they just all wanted to know how I was doing and everything.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a good vibe,¡± I agreed, ncing back as well. ¡°Sorry, they were a bit rude to you to start with,¡± Gretchen said, grimacing a little. ¡°They¡¯re not usually like that. I think it¡¯s just partly jealousy and partly, I don¡¯t know. But they warmed up to you after a bit.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I agreed. ¡°I wasn¡¯t too worried either way.¡± ¡°Hey, Gretchen,¡± someone said, walking up to us. I could see the way that Gretchen stiffened and then forced herself to rx. ¡°Hey Lino,¡± she said, frowning up at him. ¡°How are you?¡± ¡°Good. You?¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Gretchen said, her tone a bit cool. ¡°It¡¯s good to see you out at another luau,¡± the guy said. ¡°Did Mina drag you out, the little rascal?¡± Gretchenughed at that. ¡°No,¡± she said, her voice warming a little as she spoke about her friend. ¡°No, I decided I wanted toe here on my own. I¡¯m trying to show Christian a little of the local culture and everything while he¡¯s here.¡± ¡°That¡¯s good,¡± Lino said. Gretchen yawned. ¡°Anyway. We were just going to take a little stroll down the beach and then call it a night,¡± she said, pushing herself up to her feet and then reaching around to give me a hand up. ¡°But it was nice seeing you. I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll see you for the New Year¡¯s luau too.¡± ¡°Oh, definitely,¡± Lino agreed, pulling her into a quick hug and kissing her cheek. I felt my hackles rise, but I wasn¡¯t about to act like the jealous boyfriend, not when I didn¡¯t know where Gretchen and I stood at the moment and not when I didn¡¯t even know who this guy was or what he was to her. Still, it was good to drop an arm around her shoulders and steer her away from the crowds and down the beach. ¡°Sorry about that,¡± Gretchen said, grimacing. ¡°No problem,¡± I said easily. ¡°Who is this Lino, though?¡± ¡°He¡¯s just an ex,¡± she said, shrugging a little. ¡°We broke up a while ago, don¡¯t worry. I don¡¯t know why you would worry either way, but whatever Lino and I once had, it¡¯s done now.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I said. I frowned. ¡°To tell you the truth, I¡¯ve never really dated anyone,¡± I confessed. Gretchenughed. ¡°Never?¡± she asked. ¡°It¡¯s just been one-night stand after one-night stand?¡± ¡°Something like that,¡± I admitted. ¡°You do a pretty good job of taking a girl out on a date,¡± Gretchen told me warmly. Iughed and shook my head. ¡°I¡¯m still smarting from that first date,¡± I told her. ¡°I did not do a very good job with that one.¡± ¡°Okay, maybe not,¡± Gretchen said. ¡°But it¡¯s cute watching you flounder a little.¡± Iughed, wondering if I should feel defensive. But she hadn¡¯t said it meanly, so I supposed I¡¯d let it slide. We continued to stroll down the beach, moving further and further away from the crowd that was still left at the luau. ¡°God, it¡¯s so peaceful out here,¡± I said, shaking my head a little. ¡°Seriously. It almost feels like we have the whole world to ourselves.¡± ¡°It does,¡± Gretchen agreed, sliding a little closer to my side. ¡°I¡¯m really happy that I¡¯ve met you,¡± I told her, suddenly drawing us to a halt, looking seriously down into her warm eyes. ¡°You¡¯ve made my time here in Hawaii into something special.¡± ¡°I¡¯m d I could help,¡± Gretchen said, smiling shyly. I bent down to kiss her, sliding my lips softly against hers. I could turn this into something filthy, but I found myself wanting to take my time, to get her riled up. I went slow, carefully increasing the pressure and finally sliding my tongue alongside hers. She moaned into the kiss as I altered the angle slightly, and I pulled her closer into my arms, holding her body close to mine. ¡°Fuck,¡± I said, long and low as we pulled apart. I didn¡¯t release my hold of her waist, and I kept my forehead pressed against hers. ¡°We could,¡± Gretchen suggested the words barely a whisper. I blinked at her, wondering if she was suggesting what I thought she was suggesting. I nced back toward the luau and saw that we hade far enough away that we were alone on the beach. We really could have sex there, if we wanted to. Still, I couldn¡¯t help remembering the debacle at the end of thest time. ¡°Are you going to tell me I can never see you again if we have sex?¡± I asked, trying to keep my tone light. Gretchen groaned. ¡°I¡¯m still so sorry about that,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t know what came over me. I mean, I do, but-¡± I silenced her with another kiss, this one more passionate than thest, filled with intent. I hoped she wasn¡¯t about to change her mind because I was already rapidly hardening in my shorts even just thinking about it. I wasn¡¯t sure what kind of spell she had over me, but sex with her had me feeling almost like a teenager again. It felt like if she so much as got a hand on me, I woulde like a fountain. Of course, I wasn¡¯t about to let that happen. ¡°Fuck me,¡± Gretchen murmured against my lips. When she pulled back, there was a devilish, crooked smirk on her face. ¡°Fuck me, right here, Christian Wall. Prove to me how much you like Hawaii.¡± I couldn¡¯t helpughing at that, but the lust in her eyes and the matching dark desire in her voice lent a gravity to the situation that I couldn¡¯t ignore. I shook my head and moved my fingers toward my shirt, pulling it off over my head. ¡°Lie back and getfortable, then, babe,¡± I told her. Episode One Hundred & Five Gretchen¡¯s [POV] I didn¡¯t have that much to drink at the luau, and I wasn¡¯t drunk, but something about seeing Christian there with my friends, and looking so sexy in the firelight, had gotten me hot throughout the night. And there was something in me that wanted to be bold, to be more spontaneous, to be more like the person that Mina kept urging me to be. Where was the harm in letting Christian im me here on the beach? It was a special night. Or maybe this was just to spite Lino, whom I still couldn¡¯t believe had had the balls toe up and talk to me when Christian and I were off on our own. I had toyed with the idea of telling Christian why Lino and I had broken up because I had an idea Christian would think differently about the guy if he knew. But I didn¡¯t want to start something. Whatever I¡¯d had with Lino, it was over now.Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. I moaned as Christian stroked his fingers up my bare skin, kissing along my jawline and nibbling at my earlobe, making heat re in my groin. There was something about being out there, beneath the open sky, that had me so incredibly turned on. Something about the way he had managed to charm all my friends by the end of the night. Something about the fact that he seemed to fit so naturally into my life. I was in definite danger of getting attached to him, in ways that I knew Mina would frown about. But for now, I pushed those thoughts aside and focused on just being there. Christian nudged my legs further apart and began to slide his hips back and forth, his hard length dragging against my velvety folds, making me arch with desire there against the sand. I caught his hand in mine, tangling our fingers together, giving me something to anchor myself against what I could already tell was going to be one of the biggest orgasms that I¡¯d ever had. It was already building inside of me, already so close to consuming me. He bent down and captured my lips in a passionate kiss, his lips searing against mine. His tongue, when it entered my mouth, was more heated than the fire at the luau, prompting little mewls from me as he licked along all my sensitive spots, sucking at my lower lips and nibbling gentle sparks of me there as well. Then, he moved down, sucking a mark into the side of my neck, one that I knew, distantly, would be visible when I went to work, but I couldn¡¯t find it in me to care, in the heat of the moment. Instead, that little bit of pain, there amongst all this pleasure, was enough to push me spiraling toward new heights, and he hadn¡¯t even entered me yet. His mouth slipped lower, his teeth grazing across my pert nipples, tonguepping at the buds and making me wild with desire. ¡°Christian,¡± I whimpered, unable to take it any longer. I wondered if he was doing this on purpose, this teasing. But there was my answer, in the smirk that he turned toward me. ¡°Patience,¡± he chided. I practically sobbed at that. ¡°Please,¡± I whined. He didn¡¯t reply to that one, continuing instead to move maddeningly slowly down my body, until he reached my navel, kissing me gently there as well. Then, he pulled back and looked down at me for a moment, seemingly satisfied with the way he had managed to make mee undone. He reached up and swiped the pad of his thumb against my lower lip, which no doubt was plump both from the way we¡¯d been kissing before and the way I¡¯d been chewing on it, trying to silence my begging cries. ¡°God, you¡¯re gorgeous,¡± he said quietly. ¡°Please,¡± I tried again, my voice sounding wrecked. I could hardly sit still anymore, so desperate for something, anything, more than his kisses and roaming hands. Fortunately, Christian finally acquiesced to my pleas. He gave his member a couple ofzy tugs, even though I could tell he was already plenty hard to slide into me, to fill me. Sure enough, his entry was easy, but he was still taking things slow, still teasing me. He only went about halfway in, and then he began to slide back out, teasing me with just the tip of his member. I pressed my hand against my face, feeling flushed with pleasure. When I opened my eyes, and I didn¡¯t even know when I had shut them, Christian was still smirking down at me. That was it. I looped my legs around his waist and managed to flip us so that I was on top. I doubted it would have worked if he had known that it wasing since he was both stronger andrger than me. But with the element of surprise on my side, I got him t on his back, staring up at me in shock. I wasted no time in sitting down on his cock. I sighed and slumped forward as he finally slipped fully inside me. ¡°Oh, is that how it is?¡± Christian growled, but his eyes were twinkling with amusement. I shifted my hips a little, unable to keep from crying out as his tip dragged at something deep inside of me. I came hard, falling forward, hands grasping at the sand. In some primordial way, the waves of my pleasure matched with the waves of the ocean crashing somewhere behind us, echoing through my mind as white-hot pleasure coursed through my body. Christian was surprisingly patient with me, waiting until I was finally able to open my eyes before he moved again. His hands were possessive against my hips, but he was smiling crookedly up at me. ¡°You okay?¡± he asked quietly, and I could hear the strain in his voice, could hear how hard he still was inside me. In answer, I rocked my hips a few times, setting a sloppy rhythm, still feeling floaty and not fully with it. Christian brushed back some of my hair, tucking it behind my ear, his fingers lingering there against my cheek. Then, he returned his fingers to my hips, dug his heels into the sand, and thrust up hard to match my uncertain movement. I gasped and fell forward, and he collected me there against his chest, tucking my face into the crook of his neck but continuing to rock steadily up against me. His presence was all around me, and he filled my body so well. ¡°Oh fuck,¡± Christian muttered suddenly, his fingers spasming against my back. He was spilling inside me, and that was enough to push me over into a second climax of my own. I fell boneless against him, even as his hips continued to stutter up against mine, the angle driving his prick into ces I hadn¡¯t even known existed. Iy there gasping long into the aftermath of what we¡¯d done, but I was pleased to hear that Christian sounded just as breathless as me. Finally, out of deference to the heat between our sticky bodies more than anything else, I rolled away from him, lying on my back next to him, twining our fingers together and staring up at the stars. Slowly, I began to get my breathing back. I couldn¡¯t help a giddy little giggle that spilled out of me, and Christian smiled over at me. ¡°Feeling good?¡± he asked teasingly. I stretchednguidly, cat-like in my lethargy. ¡°I feel amazing,¡± I told him. I shook my head. ¡°I need to have sex outside more often.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve never done this before?¡± Christian asked curiously. Iughed a little, shaking my head. ¡°Nah,¡± I said. I bit my lower lip. ? ?? I¡¯m kind of a good girl normally. Mina¡¯s the wild and spontaneous one; that¡¯s why we work together so well. We bnce one another.¡± Christian raised an eyebrow at me. ¡°You seem pretty spontaneous to me,¡± he said, shrugging carefully. I could feel a blush spreading over me, but I was d to realize that in the dim lighting from the stars and a slim moon, he wouldn¡¯t be able to see this one. Still, I shrugged as well. ¡°Thanks.¡± Christian stretched as well, yawning a little. ¡°Wish we could just stay out here for the night, but some early morning runner would probably stumble across us, we at least probably want to put our clothes back on.¡± Iughed and pushed myself to a sitting position, leaning over to give him onest kiss. It was most chaste andcked the searing heat of some of our earlier kisses, but it was almost more intimate in some ways. When I pulled back, I could feel, deep down, that I was already pretty attached to him. Christian rolled to his feet and offered me a hand up, which I took. I stretched again, more fully, still feeling boneless and fucked-out. I started to brush myself off, groaning a little. ¡°God, I have sand everywhere,¡± Iined. Christian snorted. ¡°If you¡¯d just stayed lying there on your dress like you were supposed to,¡± he said. I pushed lightly on his shoulder. ¡°Don¡¯t even front,¡± I told him. ¡°You liked having me on top.¡± ¡°I like a woman who can take control,¡± Christian admitted, shrugging and looking away from me, almost as though he were afraid to talk about his sexual preferences. But when I thought about it, that would make sense. Probably things just unfolded however they unfolded during his one-night stands, and there would never be a reason to talk about desires for a repeat performance. Again, I found myself feeling almost sorry for him. But I shook that off, turning back toward where the luau was finally starting to break up. I nced at my watch and was surprised to see howte it was. ¡°I have to go to work so early tomorrow too.¡± I sighed. ¡°This woman requested an 8 o¡¯clock appointment so that she can go hike a volcano afterward or something like that. I don¡¯t understand why she¡¯s getting the massage before she goes for a hike.¡± ¡°Are you kicking me out of your bed again?¡± Christian asked, but his tone was teasing. I sighed, falling into his arms for one more moment. ¡°I could do with a good cuddle after that,¡± I told him softly, reveling in the feeling of his handing up to stroke lightly at my hair. ¡°But I also know that we probably should stay separate. Save that for another time.¡± ¡°All right,¡± Christian said, but I could detect a note of disappointment in his voice. He masked it with a smile, though, and looped an arm around my shoulders, leading me back toward the group so we could grab Mark and say our goodbyes. I realized I could still see Lino there, lingering with the rest of the group, even though he didn¡¯t even really seem to be a part of it. I remembered that moment of anger and spite from before and hated myself for it. ¡°Penny for your thoughts,¡± Christian said as we walked. I sighed. ¡°You probably don¡¯t want to know.¡± ¡°Sure, I do,¡± Christian said easily, as though he¡¯d support me no matter what it was that I was thinking. I swallowed hard. ¡°I was thinking about Lino,¡± I admitted, nodding toward the luau group. ¡°Not in a sexual way or anything like that, just¡­¡± ¡°You guys dated for a while,¡± Christian murmured, his voice soothing and his fingertips stroking my shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m sure there are still a bunch of feelings tangled up there.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I admitted. ¡°I¡¯m angry at him, honestly. I don¡¯t want to talk about why or anything like that, but the fact that he had the gall toe up and talk to us when we were alone, rather than when we were up with the rest of the group earlier in the evening was shit.¡± Iughed. ¡°I don¡¯t even know what I¡¯m upset about, honestly,¡± I said. ¡°Emotions are confusing,¡± Christian said, nodding his head. ¡°I get that.¡± He sighed and shook his head. ¡°Honestly? He¡¯s probably starting to realize what he lost. You look so incredibly beautiful tonight, and seeing you around your friends, so happy, lit up by the firelight.¡± Heughed and ran a hand back through his hair. ¡°Listen to me,¡± he said, rolling his eyes. ¡°I sound like some bad poet.¡± I was silent for a long moment, thinking over what he¡¯d just said. Thinking about the fact that I felt like I was somehow privileged enough to see the real Christian Wall, the one that the rest of the world never got to see. Because here, in these moments where he seemed uncertain, where he seemed like he was trying to understand himself as much as me. The rest of the world got the cool and confident Christian Wall, the one who was an expert salesman and slept with a different woman every night of the week. And nothing more. I spun to face him, leaning up on my toes and kissing him, unable to stop myself. ¡°You¡¯re pretty amazing, yourself,¡± I told him shyly. There was more that I wanted to say, but I knew that we were already getting too far into this. I left it at that for now. But from the way that Christian smiled knowingly down at me when I said those words, I wondered if he could hear all the other words in my voice regardless. Episode One Hundred & Six Christian¡¯s [POV] A couple of weeks after the luau, I was chilling with Mark in my hotel suite. ¡°So, you still have no ns to leave Hawaii?¡± he asked curiously. I shrugged over at him. ¡°Nope. No firm ns,¡± I said. ¡°I need to get back to work eventually, but they can wait until at least the New Year. They told me toe back when I¡¯m ready, and I don¡¯t feel quite ready to go yet.¡± ¡°Because of Gretchen,¡± Mark said. It wasn¡¯t a question. Iughed a little. ¡°Yeah, mostly because of Gretchen,¡± I admitted. ¡°You know, I really would have thought you¡¯d have moved on to someone else by now,¡± Mark mused. ¡°It¡¯s not like there¡¯s any shortage of attractive women here in Hawaii, and I¡¯m sure they¡¯d all be bending over backward to slip between the sheets with the great Christian Wall!¡±Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. I shrugged again, not sure how to exin to him that the appeal just wasn¡¯t there. ¡°Honestly, I would have expected that too,¡± I admitted. ¡°But Gretchen and I have a lot of fun together. She keeps me on my toes. And,¡± I winked at him, ¡°she¡¯s great in the sack.¡± ¡°I figured she must be,¡± Mark said, smirking at me. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t settle for less, would you?¡± ¡°Of course not,¡± I said, rolling my eyes. ¡°A friend who you don¡¯t enjoy having sex with is meant to be just a friend.¡± Markughed. ¡°Such an obvious thing, but how many people do you bet are in rtionships because they like the person as a friend but hate having sex with them?¡± ¡°Right?¡± I said, shaking my head. ¡°Just doesn¡¯t make any sense.¡± I hummed a little. ¡°I¡¯m lucky, though. Gretchen¡¯s the full package.¡± ¡°So, what, you¡¯re going to get engaged to her and never leave Hawaii? Never look at another woman again?¡± I rolled my eyes and shoved him lightly. ¡°Come on, man, be realistic,¡± I said. Then, I sobered up a little, frowning. ¡°Even if I wanted that to happen, and I¡¯m not saying that I do, there¡¯s no way to do that. I have my job, my home, and my whole life back in New York. All my friends are there, and-¡± ¡°Ouch, man,¡± Mark said, clutching at his chest as I¡¯d wounded him. ¡°You don¡¯t consider me to be a friend?¡± I snorted. ¡°You¡¯re just my driver,¡± I joked. Then, I shook my head. ¡°You¡¯ve also been great since I¡¯ve been here, Mark. Thanks for that.¡± Mark shrugged, looking a bit awkward. ¡°Are we supposed to hug or something now, dude?¡± he asked. Iughed. ¡°Nah. But you are supposed to drive me over to the massage parlor. Let¡¯s go.¡± ¡°Sure, sure,¡± Mark said, pushing up from his sprawl on the couch and leading the way toward the door. He opened it and bowed me through, an ironic gesture that had me rolling my eyes again. At the massage parlor, I waited patiently out in the front room for Gretchen to finish up her current appointment. I hadn¡¯t told her that I wasing over, but I had asked what her schedule looked like for the day, so I knew that she would have her lunch break after this appointment. I wanted to surprise her and take her out to a ce down on the waterfront which had just opened the week before. They were reputed to have really good seafood, and I knew Gretchen would probably like it. I flipped through one of thedies¡¯ magazines on the table, ncing impatiently at my watch now and then. It was my fault for showing up fifteen minutes early, but I¡¯d wanted to make sure I got to spend as much time with her as I could. She¡¯d been busytely with the vacationers beginning to arrive, and even in the evenings when she didn¡¯t have customers, she was usually pretty tired and ready just to curl up and watch a movie with me. Finally, she came out of the massage room with her client, a tall and leggy blonde with shockingly green eyes and a scattering of freckles across her nose. She was the kind of girl who I would have gone for back in New York, but next to Gretchen¡¯s exotic looks, she just wasn¡¯t that appealing. She recognized me, though. ¡°Oh, my god!¡± she said, putting a hand to her mouth. ¡°Christian Wall?¡± I fought to keep from grimacing. Back in New York, whenever girls had recognized me, I¡¯d been so suave, because, of course, they recognized me. Here in Hawaii, most people seemed to either not know who I was or else not care who I was. And I¡¯de to like having that anonymity. ¡°Hey,¡± I said, giving her a winning smile. ¡°Are you enjoying Hawaii as much as I am?¡± The womanughed, tossing her head a little, no doubt to make sure I noticed her long, flowing hair. ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s great here, isn¡¯t it? I just got the best massage, too. That¡¯s what you¡¯re here for, right?¡± I nced at Gretchen. ¡°I¡¯m just here to see a friend,¡± I told her. ¡°Oh, cool,¡± the woman said. ¡°You should consider getting a massage.¡± She stretched, her shirt riding up a little and revealing a tanned swath of t stomach. ¡°I feel great.¡± Then, she narrowed her eyes at me, a smirk on her face. ¡°But you know what would make me feel better? If you would do me the honor of taking you out to dinner tomorrow night. I know this great little ce near my resort, with these incredible ocean views and even better food.¡± I blinked at her. On the one hand, I appreciated how direct she was. Usually, I was the one asking girls out, not the other way around. I liked a girl who knew what she wanted and went after it. My eyes slipped over to Gretchen again. I winked at her. ¡°Sorry, sweetheart,¡± I told the blonde girl. ¡°No can do that, I¡¯ve got other ns for tomorrow.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± she said, looking disappointed. Then, she shrugged. ¡°Maybe some other time, then.¡± She dug into her purse for a moment and handed me a crisp business card. Ashley McMahon, Public Defendant. ¡°That¡¯s got my number on it,¡± she said. ¡°You should give me a call. I¡¯m here for two weeks.¡± I grinned at her and then tried to school my expression back to neutral, knowing that Gretchen must be watching this. I slid the card into my pocket, not even bothering to put it in my wallet. As much as I appreciated her advances, if I was going to go home with anyone in Hawaii, it was going to be Gretchen. ¡°If I have a free night, I¡¯ll give you a call,¡± I promised the woman. She smiled onest time and came in for a quick hug. Then, she finally left the massage parlor, leaving a cloying trail of perfume in her wake. Gretchen wrinkled her nose and then turned to me, her hands on her hips. ¡°You¡¯re already up to something tomorrow, huh?¡± she asked, her voice sounding steely. I raised an eyebrow at her. ¡°Look, I can¡¯t help if women hit on me, all right? I haven¡¯t been sleeping with anyone except you; you should know that.¡± Gretchen rolled her eyes, but I could see the way she was starting to look like she might cry. I couldn¡¯t for the life of me figure out what her problem was; had she not seen the way I had just turned down a date with that woman Ashley? ¡°But you¡¯re dating other people,¡± Gretchen said. ¡°You might not be sleeping with them, but you¡¯re, what, going to get dinner with someone else tomorrow? See how things go, and maybe you¡¯ll start sleeping with other women.¡± I blinked at her. And then realized what her confusion was. ¡°Whoa, whoa, whoa,¡± I said, holding up both hands in a cating gesture. I took a step toward her, but she took a step back. ¡°Gretchen, hey,¡± I said even more gently. ¡°What I meant is that I¡¯m taking you out tomorrow night. You have no idea how much I¡¯d rather go to dinner with you than with some random girl who just knows my name and whatever has been in the news about me.¡± Gretchen looked confused and then embarrassed. ¡°Oh,¡± she said. She picked at the hem of her sleeve, and I couldn¡¯t help but find her shyness endearing. ¡°I¡¯m not sleeping with anyone else,¡± I told her. ¡°I¡¯m not dating anyone else, either. I have zero desire to do so.¡± ¡°Sorry,¡± Gretchen said. Iughed a little. ¡°Honestly, it¡¯s kind of cute, seeing you get jealous like that,¡± I told her. ¡°I¡¯ve had women jealous of me before, but it¡¯s different with you.¡± I shook my head. I didn¡¯t know what it was about her, maybe the fact that I was ttered that Gretchen was jealous that I might want to sleep with some other woman. Gretchen cocked her head to the side. ¡°So, where were you thinking of taking me tomorrow night, then?¡± she asked challengingly. I sighed. ¡°Unfortunately, I nned to take you to the new seafood ce for lunch today, so I guess that¡¯s out for tomorrow.¡± Gretchenughed. ¡°Is that what you¡¯re doing here?¡± she nced at her watch. ¡°How ¡¯bout this? I don¡¯t have time to do that for lunch today, but we could wander down to that little sandwich ce on the corner and get paninis, and then tomorrow night for dinner, maybe we could go down to the seafood ce? I¡¯ve heard that the sunset from there is incredible, and I only work until four tomorrow.¡± I raised an eyebrow at her. ¡°That sounds great unless you already had other ns for tomorrow night?¡± Gretchen rolled her eyes. ¡°Unfortunately, we can¡¯t all be as popr as the great Christian Wall.¡± I sighed. ¡°You know, I have been getting used to not being recognized everywhere that I go.¡± ¡°Poor baby, feeling like you¡¯re losing relevance in the world?¡± Gretchen asked teasingly. I frowned at her. ¡°The thing is, and I would never have believed this a couple of months ago, it¡¯s kind of nice to have that anonymity. I always thrived in the limelight, but it¡¯s also nice to just-¡± I broke off with a shortugh, running a hand back through my hair. Gretchen looked like she understood me, though, nodding sagely. ¡°Yeah, I can imagine,¡± she said, shrugging a little. ¡°I love that I get to live here, but the fact that I¡¯ve grown up with all of these people means that after a while, everyone knows everything about you. They all have their opinions about everything you do as well. I can only imagine what it must feel like when it¡¯s the entire world that has those expectations about you.¡± I couldn¡¯t help staring at her in shock for a long moment, surprised at how well she understood me. Then, I nodded. ¡°That¡¯s exactly it,¡± I told her. I shook my head and held out my arm to her. ¡°Anyway, let¡¯s go to lunch. We wouldn¡¯t want to keep your afternoon clients waiting, or you¡¯ll be the talk of the ind!¡± Episode One Hundred & Seven Gretchen¡¯s [POV] I¡¯d never really been the type to sleep in, but with the amount that I¡¯d been working over the past few weeks, staying in bed until eight was luxurious. I stretched, reveling in the fact that I had three whole days off from work: Christmas Eve, Christmas, and the day after Christmas. And it was guilt-free time off, too. Most people were spending the holidays with their families, and they weren¡¯t booking appointments anyway. Finally, I rolled out of bed and hopped in the shower, scrubbing my hair and thinking of my ns for the next few days. Not that I had ns. I just wanted to rx as much as possible. It had been a while since I had permitted myself just to do nothing. I didn¡¯t even have errands to run. I¡¯d caught up on all of thosest weekends, knowing that a lot of the stores on the ind would be closed for the holidays as well. I finally climbed out from beneath the warm cascade of water and toweled off. Then, I got dressed in a soft sundress and headed out to the porch with my book. Before I could reach the door, though, there was a knock on it. I frowned and set my book on the table just inside the front hall, wondering who it could be. Probably Mina, but I¡¯d expected her to take advantage of her days off and stay in bed until at least noon. It was Christian. I smiled at him, my grin growing even broader when he held up coffee and a paper bag from my favorite bakery. ¡°Good morning, darling,¡± he said, leaning in for a quick kiss. ¡°I brought breakfast for the two of us if you¡¯re interested.¡± ¡°Of course, I¡¯m interested,¡± I said, eyeing the bag. Christianughed. ¡°One streusel muffin, one pumpkin muffin, and one cranberry muffin,¡± he told me. ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure which you¡¯d be in the mood for. And then I realized that we could just cut all three of them in half and share unless you¡¯re opposed to that idea.¡± Iughed and hugged him, mindful of the things in his hands. ¡°You¡¯re the best,¡± I told him fondly. ¡°Come on.¡± I led him out to the back porch, and we sat down at the table there. ¡°So,¡± Christian said, popping a bite of muffin into his mouth and chewing slowly. ¡°What are you going to do now that you have three full days off?¡± I shook my head. ¡°I have no idea,¡± I told him. ¡°I¡¯m going to Skype with my parents at some point tomorrow to wish them a happy Christmas and act surprised as I open the care package that my mother sent me, even though I already have a pretty good idea of what she¡¯s sent me. But other than that, I¡¯m mainly just focusing on rxing. Maybe I¡¯ll get some surfing in or something too. The beaches usually aren¡¯t too crowded on Christmas since most people are off with their families. Not sure what the weather forecast looks like, though.¡± ¡°Probably warm and humid,¡± Christian said, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He shook his head. ¡°This is honestly all so strange to me after growing up with New York winters. I think I¡¯ve only been out of New York a handful of times in my life for Christmas, and it was always to ces in Europe that were just as cold or colder.¡± Iughed. ¡°Yeah, it can take some getting used to,¡± I said. ¡°You can imagine how we all feel, watching American and British Christmas specials. Nearly every single one of you guys is dreaming about a white Christmas, and I¡¯ve never had a white Christmas in my life!¡± ¡°Have you ever ever seen snow before?¡± Christian asked curiously. ¡°A couple of times,¡± I admitted, shuddering a little. ¡°I avoid that kind of cold as best I can, though. I¡¯ll always be a Hawaiian girl at heart.¡± Christianughed, but there was something dark in his eyes; maybe he was thinking about the fact that he was going to have to leave eventually and that I wasn¡¯t going to be going with him. It was a thought that I seemed to keep havingtely. No matter how good things were going between us, no matter how easily the conversation flowed, we were from different worlds, and there was no meshing our lives together. I had to be realistic about that. That said, Mina¡¯s reminders to enjoy what I had at the moment were starting to sink in. ¡°Hey,¡± I said, reaching over and lightly squeezing his hand. ¡°At least we get to spend the next few days together, right?¡± ¡°That¡¯s true,¡± Christian agreed, smiling over at me. ¡°Hey, you two lovebirds,¡± Mina said,ing through the sliding ss door from my house. ¡°I was wondering where you were,¡± she said to me, a frown on her face. ¡°You¡¯re usually out reading in your hammock at this point.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns this. I raised an eyebrow at her. ¡°And you¡¯re usually still in bed,¡± I retorted teasingly. I nudged a chair toward her. ¡°Come on, Christian bought three muffins and expects the two of us to be able to finish them. You know how big Myra¡¯s muffins are.¡± Minaughed and sat down at the table with us, looking shyly over at Christian. ¡°Good morning, Mr. Christian Wall,¡± she said. Heughed. ¡°Come on,¡± he said, shaking his head. ¡°Don¡¯t do the star-struck thing around me; I just want to have a nice, casual breakfast. You can at least call me Christian Wall, none of this ¡®Mr.¡¯ stuff.¡± Mina giggled and stole some of my muffins. ¡°So, what are you guys up to today?¡± she asked. ¡°We were still trying to figure that out,¡± I admitted. Then, I nced over at Christian, wondering if breakfast had maybe only been the start of his ns for us. ¡°Or I was still trying to figure that out.¡± ¡°Me too,¡± Christian said, shrugging. ¡°Not to be rude, and I¡¯m sure both of you would disagree, but I feel as though I¡¯ve done everything that there is to do on this ind at this point. It¡¯s been a few weeks here now, and I¡¯ve run out of ideas.¡± I snorted, and Mina shook her head. ¡°You¡¯re just getting started,¡± she chided. She looked over at me. ¡°Have you taken him up to the caves yet?¡± I gave her a sharp look. She knew that thest time I¡¯d been up to the caves, it had been with Lino. I couldn¡¯t believe that she had brought that up. Except that, of course, she was always pushing me to get over Lino. Maybe she thought that things like that, getting rid of our special ces and writing new memories for myself, would do the trick. I shook my head. ¡°I don¡¯t want to go up to the caves today,¡± I said. ¡°These next few days are supposed to be all about rxing. Taking a hike is not a rxing thing to do.¡± ¡°So, what, you¡¯re just going to chill out down at the beach for three days in a row?¡± Mina asked, looking skeptical. ¡°Maybe,¡± I said, almost defensively, causing her tough again. ¡°Gretchen, you know as well as I do, and Christian knows that you aren¡¯t the type of girl who can spend three days justzing around on the beach,¡± she said. ¡°So maybe I¡¯ll go surfing or something,¡± I said, hating the almost petnt tone of my voice. ¡°Just because I want to be down on the beach, it doesn¡¯t mean I have to just lie there and tan or whatever. Anyway, maybe I¡¯ll bring a book. You know I can sit for hours when I¡¯m reading.¡± Mina just shook her head again. Then, she turned to face Christian. ¡°Is it still true that you¡¯re thinking of heading back to New York in the new year?¡± she asked. ¡°Mina,e on,¡± I said to her, putting a hand on her arm. I nced over at Christian. ¡°You don¡¯t have to answer that, don¡¯t worry. It¡¯s none of her business.¡± I wasn¡¯t sure, though, if I was telling him not to answer because it was none of her business or because I didn¡¯t want to hear his answer. Things were going so well between us, and I wanted to have a nice three days with him, without the shadow of his impending departure hanging over us. If he was nning on leaving in the new year, I didn¡¯t want to know it yet. Christian chuckled though. ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± he told me. He shrugged at Mina. ¡°I¡¯m still not sure when I¡¯ll be leaving,¡± he said easily. ¡°Haven¡¯t even started looking at flights or anything. I mean, sure, eventually, I¡¯ll have to go back, if nothing else so that I can sort out my affairs and-¡± He broke off with a grimace. Mina looked shocked. ¡°You mean you¡¯re not nning on going back to Sunrise Real Estate?¡± she asked. ¡°No, that¡¯s not what I mean,¡± Christian said, even though he looked like he didn¡¯t know what he was saying. He shook his head. ¡°Look, it¡¯splicated.¡± ¡°But what does that mean for thepany?¡± Mina asked. ¡°Are they the ones getting rid of you, or are you leaving them? And are you looking to start your own real estate business then? Would you still be living in New York, or-¡± ¡°Mina!¡± I said sharply, giving her a scolding look, even though I wanted to know the answers to all of those questions just as much if not more than she did. She was motivated by a desire for gossip. I wanted to know what this meant regarding Christians and my rtionship. Not that we had a rtionship, per se. We were just having fun and going on dates. asionally having sex. It was nothing more. It couldn¡¯t be anything more. Christian¡¯s phone chose that minute to start buzzing, and he looked down at the screen with surprise. ¡°I have to take this,¡± he said. ¡°Speak of the devil. It¡¯s one of the guys from work.¡± He looked over at me. ¡°Why don¡¯t I go back to the hotel and let the two of you have a girls¡¯ day? Then, I¡¯ll swing by and get you for dinner tonight around six?¡± ¡°That sounds great,¡± I said weakly, hoping he wasn¡¯t too upset about the turn in the conversation. As soon as he was gone, I whirled on Mina. ¡°What the hell was that?¡± I asked. Mina had the decency to look a bit sheepish. ¡°Sorry,¡± she said. ¡°I know I shouldn¡¯t have grilled him like that, I just¡­¡± She shook her head. ¡°Can you imagine what might happen if the great Christian Wall decided to walk away from his multimillion-dorpany to be with a masseuse from Hawaii?¡± I snorted and shook my head. ¡°That¡¯s never going to happen,¡± I said to her. ¡°We¡¯re just having a bit of fun, and-¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Mina said slowly. ¡°I mean, you know me. I¡¯ve never really believed in the idea of love or any of that stuff, but from the things that I¡¯ve heard him saying just now I want to believe.¡± I shook my head. ¡°He doesn¡¯t mean any of it,¡± I said. ¡°He¡¯s just confused about what he wants, and-¡± ¡°Are you just telling yourself that because that¡¯s what you need to believe?¡± Mina asked quietly. There was a long moment of silence between the two of us, and I could see Mina¡¯s look grow increasingly knowing. ¡°You¡¯re the one who¡¯s always reminding me that he¡¯s going to have to go back home eventually and that I shouldn¡¯t get too attached,¡± I said finally. ¡°True,¡± Mina admitted. ¡°That¡¯s because I never really expected him to stick around. But hearing him talk like that-¡± ¡°Can we just forget about that for now?¡± I pleaded with her. ¡°I just want to enjoy the next few days together, worry-free.¡± ¡°Sure, of course,¡± Mina said. ¡°Sorry to go on about it already, I was just surprised. But no more of that, I promise you.¡± She grinned at me. ¡°So, what are we going to do with thisdies¡¯ day that we¡¯re supposed to have? We got mani-pedisst time, and although mine could use a bit of a touch-up, I¡¯m wondering if maybe we shouldn¡¯t try something different like a total spa day? It is Christmas Eve, after all.¡± I shook my head. ¡°It¡¯s Christmas Eve,¡± I echoed. ¡°I¡¯m sure all the spas are full for the day.¡± Mina grinned, a wicked glint in her eye. ¡°Not if you contacted a friend a couple of weeks ago and made an appointment, on the off chance that you were able to tear your best friend away from your beau for the day.¡± I blinked at her and thenughed. ¡°You didn¡¯t!¡± Mina shrugged. ¡°Evil mastermind and all. Christian was in on it too; I told him to bring you breakfast this morning so that you¡¯d be all ready to go by the time I pulled myself out of bed. Come on.¡± Iughed again and followed her out to the car. Episode One Hundred & Eight Christian¡¯s [POV] Even though I could have answered Paul¡¯s call as I left Gretchen¡¯s house, I declined the call and waited until I was back at the hotel to give him a call. I poured myself a ss of wine because there was something about this conversation that had my nerves on edge. Maybe it was just Mina¡¯s needling that had gotten to me, and where had my words beening from, anyway? What did I mean, I might just go back to get my affairs in order. I was going to go back and settle down and be the face of thepany again. That had been the n all along. ¡°Hey man,¡± I said when Paul answered the phone. ¡°Rx,¡± he said immediately, a smile in his voice. ¡°You sound nervous, and there¡¯s no reason to be. Mainly, I¡¯m calling to wish you season¡¯s greetings, but I also wanted to call and let you know that the wholepany, even Alex and George, are waiting for you toe back. The sooner, the better; ideally, we¡¯d like to have you back by the start of the new year.¡± I blinked and stared at a distance halfway between myself and the wall. Then, I shook my head. ¡°Look, I know you¡¯ve been campaigning on my behalf, Paul, but I¡¯m not sure that¡¯s the best idea,¡± I said. I could hear the frown in Paul¡¯s voice when he spoke again. ¡°Are you nning on tendering your resignation? I would have expected to hear about it before now, if so.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not that,¡± I said impatiently, shoving aside all my uncertain thoughts from before. ¡°But Paul, I¡¯m not stupid. I¡¯ve been watching our stocks and all thepany news. From everything that I¡¯ve seen, thepany is doing ten times better now than it ever did when I was involved in it. Whatever you guys are doing, or I guess, maybe, whatever you guys are not doing, it seems to be working. There¡¯s no way Alex and George want me toe back.¡± ¡°You haven¡¯t been in the news in the whole time that you¡¯ve been in Hawaii,¡± Paul said. ¡°I have to admit, I¡¯m a bit surprised about it, myself. Alex and George must be beside themselves.¡± ¡°Honestly, there aren¡¯t even that many people who recognize me here,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve been mostly staying away from the touristy things, and¡­¡± I broke off, cheeks ming. For some reason, I wasn¡¯t ready to tell him about Gretchen just yet. ¡°That¡¯s good,¡± Paul said, his voice soothing away my concerns. ¡°But we do need you back at thepany. None of us can do public speaking the way that we can. You have such a knack for twistingnguage and dodging the really difficult questions. And beyond that, you have a knack for drawing in the audience and interacting with the camera. Your reality TV shows have helped us grow into thepany that we are today, and you know that as well as I do. There¡¯s talk of a sequel series to that International Dream Homes show that you starred inst year. They¡¯ve sent over a list of destinations and wanted you to go through and pick some ces.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I said, taking a sip of the wine, wondering how to respond to that. I couldn¡¯t helpughing a little. ¡°I honestly thought you were calling to tell me that thepany didn¡¯t see any reason for me toe back after the new year,¡± I admitted. ¡°I know you keep telling me that that¡¯s not what you guys want and everything, but I call bullshit,¡± I said, shaking my head. ¡°Give me some credit,¡± Paul said, and I could hear the way he was rolling his eyes. ¡°If I was going to give you that news, do you think I would wait until Christmas Eve to do it? Not that there¡¯s ever a good time for you to receive that news, but still. I¡¯m not heartless.¡± ¡°I know,¡± I said, swallowing a sudden lump in my throat. ¡°Paul, you¡¯ve been such a great friend to me over the years. And thank you for whatever part you have in preserving my ce there at Sunrise. I¡¯ll start looking at flights, I guess.¡± I ran a hand back through my hair, wondering how I was going to break the news to Gretchen. To be fair, she had to know that I was going back; that had never been a secret. For a moment, I wildly toyed with the thought of inviting her toe live with me in New York, but I knew that that wasn¡¯t even an option. She had her whole life here in Hawaii, and anyway, there was something about her that just fit here in Hawaii. She could never be part of my life back in New York. And I knew, deep down, that she would never want to be. Asking her to do that for me would ruin everything that we had had. ¡°You seem pensive,¡± Paul said. He chuckled a little. ¡°That¡¯s not a word I ever would have thought to use for you, of all people.¡± I sighed. ¡°This has been a really good trip,¡± I admitted. ¡°It¡¯s a shame to see it end.¡± Leave it at that. We exchanged a few more pleasantries, and Paul finally let me go with a final ¡®Merry Christmas.¡¯ I sat there for a long time, staring off into space, and then I pulled up myputer, beginning to search for flights. I knew that the sooner I booked it, the better deal I would get, especially since there were going to be a lot of people heading home once the holidays were done. I stopped short of purchasing one, though. Finally, I hopped into a long shower and took my time getting ready to go over to Gretchen¡¯s. I pocketed the little box that held her Christmas gift and went down to the parking lot, slipping into the rental car that I¡¯d borrowed for the holiday, not wanting to pull Mark away from his family. When I knocked on Gretchen¡¯s door, there was no answer, but when I tried the front door, it was unlocked. I stepped hesitantly inside, reflecting that this was something I would never have done back in New York, especially not with a girl who I was sleeping with, whether we had agreed to meet up that night or not. But being with Gretchen in Hawaii just felt different. I could hear the shower running upstairs, and I smiled a little to myself. I sat on the couch and pulled out my phone, waiting patiently for her to make her way downstairs. And trying not to think about what was going on just upstairs, the water droplets sliding over her body, herthering up her long hair with shampoo, giving herself a good scrub, her hands sliding over each ne of her skin¡­ I swallowed hard and pulled up the news. Nothing is less sexy than politics. ¡°Oh!¡± Gretchen said as she came down the stairs and found me sitting there waiting for her. I grimaced. ¡°Sorry, I didn¡¯t mean to startle you,¡± I said. ¡°I was a little early, and the front door was unlocked, and-¡±This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. ¡°No, no, it¡¯s fine,¡± Gretchen said, shaking her hair back. ¡°Sorry, I just didn¡¯t hear youe in.¡± ¡°I think you were in the shower,¡± I told her, trying not to blush a little. ¡°Sorry about that,¡± Gretchen said. ¡°Mina and I went for a spa day today, and I had this great oil massage. I just wanted to smell like myself again.¡± Iughed. ¡°So, even masseuses get massages?¡± I teased. ¡°Very rarely, actually,¡± Gretchen admitted, grimacing a little. ¡°I could use them more often, but¡­¡± ¡°You don¡¯t set enough time aside for yourself,¡± I guessed. ¡°I guess not.¡± Gretchenughed. ¡°Speaking of work, how was your call this morning? Is everything okay?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, leading her out toward the car with a hand at her lower back. I chewed my lower lip, trying to figure out what exactly to say to her. I mean, I was going to have to tell her that I would be leaving soon; there was no option about that. But I didn¡¯t want to spoil our date that night with the news that I¡¯d already started looking at flights. Finally, I decided just to say, ¡°Paul wanted to wish me a Merry Christmas. We didn¡¯t talk business that much.¡± ¡°That¡¯s sweet of him to call you just for that,¡± Gretchen said, smiling over at me. I shrugged. ¡°Yeah, Paul¡¯s one of my best friends. We¡¯ve known one another for well over a decade now. The other two guys, Alex and George, don¡¯t get along so well, mainly because they think they know everything.¡± I paused. ¡°You know what? I don¡¯t want to talk about all that if that¡¯s okay. Not right now at least.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Gretchen said soothingly, smiling over at me from the passenger¡¯s seat. We made it to the restaurant and were seated in a cozy corner by ourselves, with a good view of the ocean; it was amazing all the perks that you could get if you gave people a little extra money. ¡°This is incredible,¡± Gretchen said, looking out over the sunset view. ¡°It is,¡± I agreed, watching the colors of the dying sun reflected in the dark color of her eyes. God, she was pretty like this, with her hair flowing in casual waves and her face shining. It reminded me, for some reason, of the night at the luau. I could never take her to New York with me. This was her world. This was where she was happy. ¡°What are you thinking about?¡± Gretchen asked, looking curiously over at me, maybe feeling the way my grip had tightened on her hand. I forced a smile, shaking off my dark thoughts. I wanted just to enjoy this, being here with her. For as long as I could have it. ¡°I have something for you,¡± I told her, reaching into my pocket for the box. ¡°After all, I couldn¡¯t spend Christmas with you without getting you anything. And I know I probably should wait until tomorrow, but I know you were going to Skype your family and everything, and anyway, I¡¯m excited to give it to you.¡± ; Gretchenughed, looking pleased. ¡°I have your gift here with me tonight, too,¡± she admitted. ¡°I guess, the same thing. I¡¯m just excited to give it to you.¡± I grinned at her. This was the first time I had ever been so much on a wavelength with anyone, let alone a female, and yet we seemed to perfectly mirror one another¡¯s thoughts. I pulled out the small box and held it out to her. Gretchen pushed a simrly shaped package toward me, except that hers had arge green bow stuck to the top of it, and I couldn¡¯t help grinning. ¡°Oh, Christian, it¡¯s gorgeous,¡± Gretchen said, her fingers lightly touching the ne that I¡¯d bought her. It was a little seashell, nothing special, but as soon as I¡¯d seen it, it had just seemed right for her. ¡°Let me help you put it on,¡± I told her, moving around behind her chair. She held her hair off to the side, and I couldn¡¯t help letting my fingers linger against her neck as I did up the sp. She shivered a little, and when I slipped into my seat across from her, I noted the lusty look in her gaze, the way that she slowly licked her lips. My cock twitched in response to my earlier thoughts of her in the shower as much as this current look on her face. ¡°I¡¯ming over tonight,¡± I growled under my breath. ¡°Of course. I want you to,¡± Gretchen said breathlessly, her eyes dark with want. Episode One Hundred & Nine Gretchen¡¯s [POV] Dinner was delicious, and I couldn¡¯t help feeling happy after watching Christian unwrap the watch that I had so carefully picked out for him. It had a wooden face on it rather than the sleek metal designs that most real estate agents probably preferred, but I thought it was the perfect mesh of professional and personal. The Christian who I was lucky enough to see there in Hawaii was one I wasn¡¯t sure anyone else had ever gotten to see before. We were hardly inside my front door before Christian had pushed me back against the wall, narrowly missing knocking us into the table as we went. I giggled a little, but the giggle died in my throat as he pinned my arms up above my head, kissing me soundly. I couldn¡¯t help the soft whimper that fell from my lips as he crowded me against the wall, pressing his muscr form tightly against my fleshy curves. ¡°We¡¯re not going to make it to the bedroom,¡± Christian said into my ear, his breath hot against the shell of it. He grazed his teeth along the lobe, making me gasp and grind down against the leg that he had, at some point, slotted in between mine. I couldn¡¯t help nodding in agreement, though. Going all the way upstairs, in this state, seemed impossible. I¡¯d wanted him since he¡¯d put this ne on me since he¡¯d stroked his hands lightly across my tender flesh and made me need contact with him. Made me crave more. And that naughty way that he¡¯d told me, so confidently, right then and there, that he was going toe over that night. The thing about it was, each time I slept with Christian, things felt just as incredible as the first time. His palm came up underneath my dress, stroking smoothly across the heated skin there, making me shudder with desire. He cupped my breast, thumbing at my nipple through the thin,cy fabric of my bralette. ¡°Come on,¡± I urged. He wasn¡¯t even really teasing me all that much, but I just felt so impatient, so needy, so¡­ So breathless, as he yanked off my panties and then undid his shorts, letting them and his boxers fall to the ground. His cock was already straining toward me, but I only caught a glimpse of it before he lifted me, quickly sheathing himself in my warm, wet hole. I gasped, clinging to him, curling my legs around him. There was something undeniably sexy about this impatience, about the fact that we were both still mostly clothed, having sex there in my front hall like horny teenagers. I moaned as Christian maneuvered my hips, thrusting deeper inside of me. Christian kissed my neck, right next to the shell pendant that he had bought for me, which was so perfect in ways that I couldn¡¯t even describe. He didn¡¯t know about all the times that I hadbed the beach as a kid, looking for shells with holes in them that I could wear as nes. He didn¡¯t know about that one time when I¡¯d been five years old when I¡¯d told my kindergarten teacher that ms were my favorite animal because of their pretty shells. I ran my fingers through his hair, no doubt making it stick up at odd angles, but neither of us was concerned with that at the moment. Instead, Christian¡¯s head dropped back a little, pressing into my fingertips in a clear request for more. I grinned until he started kissing me again, his lips hot against mine. But I had to turn away from the kiss as he thrust even more vigorously up into me, leaving me almost breathless. He rested his forehead against my temple, his fingers slipping against the skin of my hips but not enough to hinder his movements. I gasped, caught unaware as a sudden thrust hit just the right spot inside of me to have my nerves singing. My fingers scrabbled for purchase against his shoulders, and I was d for the ways that he was supporting me or else I probably would have copsed. With my walls pressing tight around his straining cock, he came with a muffled cry. His hands slipped over my hips, but he kept me there, pressed against the wall, the cloying scent of his cologne surrounding me. He pressed a kiss against my corbone and slowly lowered me to the floor. I suddenly became aware of the fact that we¡¯d had sex right there in the hall, and I couldn¡¯t help blushing brightly, much to Christian¡¯s amusement. ¡°You can¡¯t tell me you¡¯ve never done that one before,¡± he said, sounding almost incredulous. I ducked my head, clearing my throat awkwardly. ¡°I guess it¡¯s just never felt so urgent before,¡± I admitted, feeling almost foolish. ¡°Oh darling,¡± Christian said, kissing my forehead gently. He nced down at his shorts and boxers and then deliberately kicked them off his feet, bending down to scoop them up even as he also stripped off his shirt. Soon, he stood there naked in front of me, a challenging look on his face. ¡°Let¡¯s go to bed,¡± he suggested, holding out a hand to me. I swallowed hard and grinned shakily at him, already imagining what round two might be like. I let him lead me upstairs. A little whileter, we were both there naked in my bed, cuddled together. Christian traced aimless patterns against my arm with his fingertips. ¡°This has been the best month of my life,¡± he said quietly. ¡°Oh, yeah?¡± I asked. I could tell that he was more rxed now than he had been when he had first shown up in my massage parlor, and we all knew what a good bout of rxing could do to a person.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. ¡°I¡¯ve enjoyed yourpany,¡± Christian said honestly. ¡°This is the first time that I can recall that-¡± He broke off and cleared his throat, sounding almost awkward. ¡°That what?¡± I pressed, sensing that it was something important. But Christian shook his head. ¡°This is the first time that a vacation has been about more than just sex with random strangers,¡± he told me. ¡°It¡¯s been nice. I didn¡¯t expect things to end up like this.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t either,¡± I admitted softly. I wasn¡¯t sure what I was admitting to, either; it was twofold. On the one hand, I could never have expected that this billionaire would open up to me the way that he had. On the other hand, I could never have expected that in such a short amount of time, just under a month, at this point, I¡¯d develop such deep feelings for him. It was getting to the point where I could imagine him staying there in Hawaii, being part of my life for a long time. And that was the scary part. ¡°Thank you for showing me your Hawaii,¡± Christian said. ¡°With the waterfalls and the luaus and the scooter tours and everything else that we¡¯ve done, I feel special.¡± ¡°You are special,¡± I couldn¡¯t keep myself from admitting. Then, I pped my hand over my mouth, feeling embarrassed. I started to roll away from him, but Christian caught me around the shoulders and drew me back into his side. ¡°You are too,¡± he murmured, reaching forward to press a soft kiss against my skin. I blushed, and he smiled, swirling his fingers once more across my skin. ¡°So, what¡¯s your n for tomorrow?¡± I asked. ¡°You must have some family who you need to contact or something, right?¡± Christian sighed and shook his head. ¡°Nah,¡± he said, nonchntly, as though there were no feelings about it either way. ¡°Christmas hasn¡¯t been a big thing to me in a while. Usually, I just work my way through a bottle of good wine and maybe a couple of movies, things that I don¡¯t have time to do at other times of the year. And normally, if I get lonely-¡± He cut himself off, and I raised an eyebrow at him, guessing what he¡¯d been about to say. ¡°Normally, you¡¯d call up some whore.¡± I sighed. Christian looked embarrassed, but he nodded. ¡°Yeah,¡± he admitted. ¡°Might have guessed that,¡± I said. I nudged him a little, trying to get him to rx. ¡°If you need somepany, I should be free once I¡¯ve talked to my parents for an hour or so.¡± Christian let out a slow breath. ¡°That would be nice,¡± he said. There was a feeling in his voice that belied the casual words, and I suddenly got to wondering how lonely his life in New York must be. No wonder he was constantly trying to fill that void with a string ofmitment-less attachments. ¡°I make the best Christmas dinner,¡± I informed him, winking at him. ¡°Oh?¡± Christian asked, a sly note back in his voice, and I was d to get him out of whatever introspective funk he¡¯d fallen into and back into something that sounded more like himself. ¡°Yeah,¡± I told him. ¡°Hawaiian pizza. Can¡¯t beat it.¡± Christian looked for a moment like he wasn¡¯t sure if he should believe me or not. Then, he burst outughing. ¡°And then, I curl up on the couch and watch all the Christmas specials that I can find,¡± I continued. ¡°The best way to go.¡± ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll have to join you,¡± Christian said, grinning fondly down at me. ¡°Maybe you will,¡± I said. He dropped off to sleep not long after that, and after a long moment of listening to him breathing, I hesitantly moved over so my head was resting on his chest. Iy there stiffly, not even daring to breathe for a moment until I heard his breaths even out even further. Then, I finally allowed myself to rx and breathe normally. I wasn¡¯t sure what I was going to do once he went back to New York. Despite Mina¡¯s words, I knew he would end up going back to New York, and sooner rather thanter. I traced my fingers over his chest, sighing softly. Thest thing I wanted to do was let him go, but I knew I didn¡¯t have any say in the matter. It wasn¡¯t as though I could tell him to stay there, just for me. And it wasn¡¯t as though he was going to invite me back to Hawaii to stay with him. He had his world there, one that I could never hope to fit into. I would never stack up against those blonde, busty women who he was ustomed to taking home. I shouldn¡¯t have been thinking along those lines. I should just be enjoying what I had. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and then I finally allowed myself to drift off to sleep next to him. Episode One Hundred & Ten Christian¡¯s [POV] I woke up feeling pleasantly warm and rxed, with a heavy weight on my chest. When I opened my eyes, I saw that it was Gretchen, who had fallen asleep with her head pillowed on my chest, her arm curled possessively around my torso. It was the first time I had ever woken up in bed with a woman. Let alone in another woman¡¯s bed. I frowned down at her and considered moving, but I honestly liked being here, like this. She was the first woman who I hadn¡¯t felt the need to kick out of bed, and even now, early in the morning, when I knew I should probably be slipping away before she opened her eyes, I couldn¡¯t bring myself to move. The thing is, I knew better. I knew that if she woke up with me, she was probably going to start getting attached, but I was already a bit attached to her. The more I thought about it, the more going back to New York was going to hurt. Of course, it was something that I had to do; there was no getting around that. Before I could evenplete that train of thought, Gretchen was stirring against me, peering blearily up at me. ¡°Good morning,¡± she said, her words a bit slurred with sleepiness. I couldn¡¯t help smiling down at her. ¡°Good morning,¡± I rumbled. ¡°And Merry Christmas,¡± she said. She yawned, btedly covering the movement with her hand. ¡°Sorry,¡± she said. Iughed a little. ¡°That¡¯s okay,¡± I told her. ¡°How are you feeling?¡± ¡°Hungry,¡± she said immediately. Then, she looked a bit embarrassed. ¡°Me too,¡± I said before she could second-guess herself. ¡°How about we get some breakfast?¡± Gretchen peered over at the clock on her bedside table and looked surprised when she read the numbers. ¡°It¡¯s already ten!¡± she said in surprise. ¡°I haven¡¯t slept thatte in forever.¡± ¡°So, brunch, then,¡± I amended, grinning down at her. ¡°Brunch,¡± Gretchen agreed, shaking her head. ¡°Wow.¡± ¡°You slept well, then?¡± I asked.N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. ¡°Yeah, really well,¡± she said rolling away from me and stretching, the move reminiscent of the one that she had performed on the beach after we¡¯d had sex. I couldn¡¯t help coloring and shifting a little, feeling my morning wood stirring. But Gretchen wasughing and rolling out of bed. ¡°Oh no,¡± she said, shaking her head. ¡°We¡¯re alreadyte enough that we¡¯re in danger of having to wait forever in line for a spot at a brunch ce. And anyway, I need to Skype with my parents at some point before it gets toote in the day. They¡¯re a few hours ahead, remember? ¡°Yeah.¡± I sighed, rolling out of the other side of the bed. I looked around for my clothes. ¡°Pretty sure all your clothes, and maybe my panties, are downstairs. Last night was so incredible.¡± She blushed, stealing my heart. ¡°It was perfect. You were perfect,¡± I said sinctly. She ducked her head shyly. ¡°You were too.¡± ¡°How about this?¡± I suggested. ¡°You must have something in this house that could be cooked for breakfast. Why don¡¯t I make us breakfast?¡± Gretchen rolled her eyes. ¡°Like you know how to cook,¡± she said, a teasing note in her voice. ¡°You probably have someonee in to cook all of your meals back home.¡± Iughed and shook my head. ¡°I¡¯ve always enjoyed cooking,¡± I admitted. ¡°It¡¯s a little less fun when you¡¯re just cooking for yourself, but it¡¯s a necessity, right?¡± ¡°The mysterious talents of Christian Wall,¡± Gretchen said, shaking her head. ¡°Why don¡¯t we whip something up together? If you can make some eggs, I¡¯ll heat some pre-cooked hash browns that I batch-cook, and then I¡¯ll make some fruit and yogurt parfaits.¡± I grinned at her, liking the idea of us being there in the kitchen together, working in tandem. ¡°That sounds like a great idea,¡± I said. ¡°And I can cook eggs.¡± ¡°Can you poach them?¡± Gretchen asked. ¡°Because that¡¯s the only way that I eat eggs.¡± I blinked over at her and then frowned. ¡°I can try,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m sure there¡¯s a how-to video out there somewhere on the inte. Usually, I just fry mine or, sometimes, scramble them.¡± Gretchen burst outughing. ¡°I¡¯m just kidding,¡± she said. ¡°Anything sunnyside up to over medium is fine. I¡¯d take them hardboiled if that¡¯s what you wanted to do.¡± Iughed and shook my head. ¡°Minx,¡± I told her, pulling her into my arms and kissing her, trying to ignore how much that simple action turned me on. ¡°Come on,¡± she said, leading me toward the stairs. ¡°I¡¯m hungry.¡± After a mutually-cooked breakfast, which was surprisingly filling and tasty, we decided to go for a walk on the beach. It was my suggestion; I knew that I needed to tell Gretchen that I was looking at flights home. I¡¯d decided at some point the previous night, or maybe that morning, when I¡¯d woken up with her head pillowed on my chest. It wasn¡¯t fair to keep it from her. Still, having reached the resolve that I needed to tell her and telling her were two entirely different things. ¡°I can¡¯t imagine living somece where there wasn¡¯t a beach.¡± Gretchen sighed, shaking her head. ¡°I¡¯ve just always lived within walking distance of the beach. It¡¯s where I do most of my deepest thinking.¡± ¡°It¡¯s nice,¡± I agreed. I paused. ¡°New York doesn¡¯t have a beach. Not like this.¡± I didn¡¯t know why I said it. It wasn¡¯t as though I was trying to ask her toe back with me. I was about to tell her that I was leaving. The whole thing was just hideously out of ce. ¡°Yeah, I know,¡± she said softly. She shook her head. ¡°Honestly, I wouldn¡¯t match the pace of New York anyway.¡± ¡°I know,¡± I told her. Because that was the truth. I bit my lower lip, wondering if she knew exactly what I was trying to say, without my even having to say it. I took a deep breath, preparing to let it out. It was like ripping off a Band-Aid. Before I could get the words out, someone called from behind us. ¡°Chris! Christian!¡± I spun around, wondering if someone from the paparazzi had finally caught up with me or something. I knew they were interested in this Hawaiian girl who I was spending all my time with, or maybe they were wondering what I was nning to do with my Christmas. Maybe they were looking to share some photos with their customers, as some cheesy Christmas special, which had happened before more times than I could count. But when I turned around, I stopped short, staring back at the guy running across the sand toward us. He came to a stop near us, and I knew him. I recognized him. I stared at him for a long moment, and he stared back at me, unwavering no matter how many times I blinked my eyes. ¡°Jeff?¡± I finally asked. My brother nodded at me, looking unhappy to see me. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± he asked, as though he might somehow have more right to be here than I did. ¡°Last thing anyone heard, you had fucked off your business for a few months, but did you have to pick the same ce as me for your annual vacation? I¡¯ve beening here for years now.¡± I shook my head. ¡°I didn¡¯t know that,¡± I admitted. ¡°I¡¯ve been here for a month or so now.¡± I nudged Gretchen forward. ¡°This is Gretchen; she¡¯s-¡± ¡°Another of your fuck toys,¡± Jeff surmised, without even letting me say otherwise. ¡°God, I can¡¯t even believe you, parading around the globe with these girls like-¡± ¡°That¡¯s not what this is,¡± I interrupted before Gretchen had to hear more about this. She was already moving further away from me, and even though there was only probably a foot between us, it felt like an uncrossable distance in so many ways. ¡°So, what is it?¡± Jeff asked a sneer on his face. ¡°I¡¯ve been¡­¡± I trailed off, wondering how even to word things. I¡¯d been what? Gretchen and I had never talked about what we were to one another, and with me going off to New York in a couple of weeks at the most, we were never going to be anything to one another. I blushed brilliantly and ducked my head, like a schoolboy caught in some lewd act. ¡°That¡¯s what I thought,¡± Jeff said, taking that as some admission of guilt. ¡°God, Christian, couldn¡¯t you for once grow up and be the responsible adult that you¡¯re supposed to be by this point? We¡¯re all waiting for that day.¡± Then, he shook his head. ¡°Not that that day is ever going to happen.¡± He spun away from us before I could respond, stalking off down the beach. For a moment, I was struck by the urge to go after him, to make him listen to me. To make him understand who Gretchen was to me. But I was still so shocked by the whole thing, by the fact that I had run into Jeff here, after carefully avoiding him for so many years. ¡°Who was that?¡± Gretchen asked cautiously, and I couldn¡¯t help but grimace, suddenly remembering that she was there, that she had seen all of this awkwardness. ¡°That was my brother,¡± I admitted. ¡°I thought you didn¡¯t have any family left,¡± Gretchen said, her voice tight. When I looked down at her, her face looked tight, as well it might; she was probably wondering how many things I had lied about over the past few years. ¡°We¡¯re not close,¡± I finally managed. ¡°But he still exists,¡± Gretchen snapped. ¡°Yeah,¡± I admitted. I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face. That day had started so well, not when I considered the fact that I had been nning to tell her all about my ns to disappear to New York sooner rather thanter, but other than that, it was good. Gretchen reached up and yanked off the new ne that I¡¯d given her, throwing it down in the sand. I felt a stab of pain and tried desperately to think of something I could say to her. ¡°Gretchen, please,¡± I said, my voice filled with raw emotion. ¡°There¡¯s a lot of unhappy feelings there. We haven¡¯t talked in years, and if I¡¯m being honest, I¡¯m not a good guy. If you¡¯ve read anything about me, you must know that. You know the kinds of things that I¡¯ve gotten up to. And the thing with my brother is that we weren¡¯t close as kids,¡± I admitted. ¡°But through college, with both of us going to schools in different states, we got a lot closer. He always supported me, when I was only dreaming of going into real estate. Once I made my money, I¡­¡± I trailed off. ¡°I¡¯m not a good person.¡± ¡°What did you do?¡± Gretchen asked. I was silent for a long moment. ¡°I was an absolute dick to him, I guess,¡± I admitted. ¡°Gretchen, I¡¯m not a good guy.¡± Gretchen leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed me softly, chastely. ¡°Stop saying that,¡± she said quietly, urgently. ¡°Stop saying that you¡¯re not a good person. You might not be the best guy I¡¯ve ever met, but I don¡¯t think you¡¯re a bad guy. You maybe did some things that weren¡¯t so good, but I don¡¯t think you¡¯re a bad guy, under all of that. Misguided, maybe, but not bad.¡± I spun away from her, shaking my head. ¡°You don¡¯t know-¡± I started to say. But Gretchen spun with me, catching my arms in firm hands. ¡°Yes, I do,¡± she said sincerely, looking up into my eyes. ¡°Christian, do you think that I¡¯d be here if I didn¡¯t think that you were a good guy?¡± she asked. ¡°I don¡¯t know!¡± I exploded. Gretchen¡¯s finger came up to seal my lips, though. ¡°Yes, you do,¡± she said softly. ¡°And you know it, deep down. Maybe you didn¡¯t treat your brother the best. But that doesn¡¯t mean that you aren¡¯t a good guy. And he¡¯d know that if he got to know you again.¡± ¡°He¡¯d hate me,¡± I protested, shaking my head. ¡°I don¡¯t think anyone could hate you,¡± Gretchen said sincerely. I looked down into her serious eyes and had to at least consider that maybe she was right. Episode One Hundred & Eleven Gretchen¡¯s [POV] I took my third day off from work to strictly pamper myself, spending most of the day lying out in the sun and reading a book. It was rxing, but there was something hollow inside of me as I finished reading thest book and thought about things with Christian. It was enough to have me calling him up that night. ¡°Hey,¡± he said warmly when he answered the phone. ¡°How¡¯s the solo day going?¡± I sighed and shook my head. ¡°To be honest, I miss you,¡± I said intively. ¡°Aw, baby,¡± he said. ¡°What are you doing right now?¡± ¡°Curled up on the couch trying to watch some TV. Thinking about ordering a pizza or something for dinner, but not sure what I want.¡± Heughed. ¡°That sounds nice,¡± he said. ¡°What are you up to?¡± I asked. I could almost hear his shrug over the phone. ¡°Not much,¡± he admitted. ¡°I went out with Mark and some of his friends, but they¡¯ve all paired off, and I¡¯m just sitting here now. It¡¯s kind of weird to go to a bar when you¡¯re not with someone, and you¡¯re not trying to take someone home.¡± Iughed. ¡°I can only imagine,¡± I said. Then, I blurted out, ¡°Do you want toe over?¡± ¡°Are you sure?¡± Christian asked teasingly. ¡°Or would that interrupt your day?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve had enough of that by now,¡± I admitted. ¡°I¡¯d like to see you.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be over in a minute,¡± he said.Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. In the end, we didn¡¯t have sex, but we did watch a couple of great movies and ate our way through most of the pizza. We passed out together on the couch, so I counted that as a sess. At some point in the night, Christian must have woken up and moved us upstairs, because I woke up in my bed, with him spooning me. I shifted away from him and made a couple of soft, sleepy noises. ¡°Good morning,¡± he said into the nape of my neck. I hummed in response. ¡°Thanks foring over,¡± I said quietly. ¡°Thanks for having me over,¡± he retorted. ¡°I needed this.¡± Iughed. ¡°We just saw one another the day before yesterday,¡± I reminded him. ¡°And it¡¯s not like we had sex or anything like thatst night.¡± ¡°No,¡± he agreed. ¡°But, I can¡¯t stop thinking about the whole thing with Jeff,¡± he finally admitted. ¡°I know I shouldn¡¯t, but the guy wasn¡¯t happy to see me. I should just let bygones be bygones.¡± ¡°He¡¯s your brother,¡± I reminded him quietly. ¡°You can¡¯t just let bygones be bygones.¡± He sighed. ¡°I know.¡± He shook his head. ¡°The thing is, I would never even be considering working things out with him if it weren¡¯t for you,¡± he admitted. ¡°I feel like this is kind of silly, but I feel like I¡¯ve honestly be a better person since I¡¯ve known you, Gretchen. In so many ways. You were telling me the other day about how you think I¡¯m a good person. I don¡¯t think I was, but maybe I¡¯m starting to be one.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t just be a good person,¡± I said sagely. ¡°You were always a good person, there underneath. Maybe you did some not-so-good things, but that doesn¡¯t mean that you were ever not a good person underneath.¡± He sighed. ¡°You have too much faith in me,¡± he told me. ¡°And you should make things right with your brother,¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t even know where he¡¯s staying,¡± Christian protested. ¡°How am I supposed to find him? This ind isn¡¯t exactly tiny.¡± ¡°To run into us the other day on the beach, he must be staying in one of the hotels near there,¡± I pointed out. ¡°Or at an Airbnb or something like that,¡± he reminded me. ¡°Start with the hotels, and if you can¡¯t find him, then we¡¯ll start broadening our search,¡± I said firmly. I sighed and rolled out of bed; no matter howfortable it was, unfortunately, I couldn¡¯t stay there for the whole day. ¡°I wish I could spend the whole day in bed with you, but I do have to get into work today, I¡¯ve taken enough time off already.¡± Christian sighed, starting to get out of bed as well, but I put a hand on his shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m not kicking you out; you can stay as long as you want to.¡± He fell back against the sheets, breathing in deeply. ¡°You sure?¡± he asked, even as he pulled the nkets up around himself. ¡°I¡¯m sure,¡± I said, smiling sweetly down at him. I leaned in to drop a kiss on his cheek. ¡°I¡¯ll see youter, okay? Lock up when you leave.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± When I got to work, I was in pretty good spirits. ¡°Somebody had a good Christmas,¡± Mina said,ing into my shop and taking in my smile. I grinned at her. ¡°I did,¡± I told her. ¡°A really good Christmas.¡± ¡°Chatted with your family?¡± she asked. ¡°Of course!¡± ¡°And saw Christian a few times?¡± I shrugged. ¡°Of course,¡± I said. I paused, biting my lower lip. ¡°It¡¯s been good.¡± Mina sighed. ¡°I know that look,¡± she said, shaking her head. ¡°What look?¡± I asked defensively. ¡°That look,¡± Mina said, waving a hand at my face. ¡°You look guilty. And you know what I think that means? I think that means that you¡¯re starting to forget the fact that he¡¯s going back to New York in, like, a week. Maybe two at the most.¡± ¡°He would have told me if he was,¡± I protested. ¡°You¡¯d like to think so,¡± Mina agreed. ¡°Have you read something in one of your magazines?¡± I asked softly, not sure if I wanted to know the answer. ¡°No,¡± Mina said. ¡°Although the fact that you even feel the need to ask¡­¡± ¡°Then maybe he¡¯s not leaving,¡± I said stubbornly. Mina sighed and came forward, catching my hands between hers. ¡°You know that he has to leave at some point,¡± she reminded me. ¡°There¡¯s no way around that. And I don¡¯t want to see you get hurt, but I¡¯m afraid that that is exactly what¡¯s going to happen.¡± She sighed. ¡°Do you remember what happened thest time you fell in love with a guy?¡± I grimaced. ¡°Mina-¡± ¡°No, don¡¯t you Mina me,¡± she said, shaking her head. ¡°I¡¯m always on your side, and if he leaves and goes back to New York, I¡¯m going to be there for you with ice cream and Chinese takeout food and stupid movies. But at the same time, you can¡¯t just hide away in your little bubble and insist that it¡¯s never going to exist. That¡¯s-¡± ¡°Mina,¡± I interrupted firmly, finally seeding in halting her litany. I sighed. ¡°Mina, I know he¡¯s going back to New York,¡± I said. ¡°But we had a great time over the holiday, and I¡¯m trying to take a leaf out of your book. You told me to just have fun with this, with whatever it was. I¡¯m trying very hard to do that. I¡¯m trying very hard to enjoy this.¡± Mina shook her head, looking pained. ¡°Just-¡± ¡°Mina, he likes me,¡± I interrupted. ¡°He does. And I¡¯m not saying that he¡¯s going to take me back to New York with him, he couldn¡¯t do that, I know that. But all the same, I want to enjoy this. So, please.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Mina said, miming zipping her lips. ¡°So, how was your Christmas anyway?¡± Mina grimaced and flopped into one of the waiting room chairs. ¡°Trust me,¡± she said dramatically, ¡°you don¡¯t even want to know.¡± Episode One Hundred & Twelve Christian¡¯s [POV] I don¡¯t know why I did it, but it was Mark that I called up for advice. Maybe it was just because he was a dude. Maybe it was because I thought I could get his unbiased opinion on the subject in a way that I knew I would never be able to from Gretchen. Whatever it was, I dialed his number and waited impatiently for him to pick me up. ¡°Yo, what¡¯s up?¡± he asked. ¡°How was your Christmas?¡± ¡°It was good,¡± I said distractedly, thinking of something else. ¡°Look, could you meet me over here at the hotel?¡± ¡°Uh oh,¡± Christian said. ¡°Are you looking at different shirts again?¡± Iughed a little, but the sound was weak. ¡°I honestly wish I were,¡± I told him. ¡°I¡¯ll be there in ten,¡± Mark told me. True to his word, he strode into the suite not too long after that. He raised an eyebrow at the way that I was pacing and dropped almost challengingly into a chair. ¡°Dude, what¡¯s up?¡± he asked. ¡°You look stressed.¡± ¡°I am,¡± I admitted. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t be, I should have known this day wasing, but I am.¡± ¡°You¡¯re headed back to New York,¡± Mark said, realization dawning on his face. ¡°No!¡± I said. ¡°I haven¡¯t booked my flight yet, but I¡¯ve been looking at them. That¡¯ll happen soon.¡± I grimaced. ¡°It¡¯s because of my brother.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Mark said slowly. ¡°I didn¡¯t realize you had a brother.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t talk about him much,¡± I admitted. ¡°And the media doesn¡¯t seem to have realized he exists either. We don¡¯t have a rtionship. At all. I was¡­¡± I swallowed. ¡°You were probably a dick to him,¡± Mark surmised, the wordsing easily. He shrugged. ¡°Sorry, but I¡¯ve read all your interviews and things.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I sighed. ¡°I was a dick to him.¡± ¡°So.¡± ¡°So, he¡¯s here in Hawaii at the moment,¡± I said. ¡°And I feel like, I don¡¯t know¡­¡± ¡°You probably should make things right with him,¡± Mark said, as though it was that simple. ¡°But he wasn¡¯t-¡± ¡°No,¡± Mark said, holding up a hand. ¡°I know that¡¯s a pretty normal sibling move, but you can¡¯t just do the ¡®he said, she said¡¯ thing for the rest of your life or you¡¯re never going to solve anything. And then you¡¯ll probably be sitting there on your deathbed eventually, and you¡¯ll be stuck wondering about all the things that you might have changed about your rtionship with your brother. Well, no one¡¯s going to want to listen to that shit. You¡¯d better make things right now.¡± It was both incredibly wise and incredibly ludicrous for him to say, and I couldn¡¯t helpughing. I sobered quickly though. ¡°I don¡¯t even know how to make things right with him, though,¡± I told him. ¡°Like, should I offer him money? He probably doesn¡¯t need that anyway; hees here to Hawaii every year, and-¡± ¡°Yeah, don¡¯t do that,¡± Mark said, making a face at me. ¡°It honestly bothers me that that¡¯s your first idea.¡± ¡°So, what should I-¡± ¡°Just be upfront with him, dude,¡± Mark said. ¡°We all have our faults. And you¡¯re lucky because if he¡¯s kept up with the news about you at all, he probably already knows all your faults. He knows that you drink too much and that you party too hard and that you¡¯ve slept with nearly every woman in the world. You don¡¯t even really have to say anything except that you¡¯re sorry.¡± I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. ¡°You make it sound so easy,¡± Iined. ¡°It is,¡± Mark said. ¡°Look, I don¡¯t want to go too much into the backstory here, but I¡¯ve got a brother too. He lives on the maind now, in Florida. Growing up, living with him was absolute hell. And when he moved out, I swore that I was never going to talk to the guy again. But you know what? One day, he called me up out of the blue and said that he was in Hawaii and that he wanted to meet up and apologize. And we had the most awkward lunch ever, and we talk nearly every other week and exchanged holiday cards and all that. He¡¯s one of my good friends. I never would have expected that.¡± I sighed. ¡°It can¡¯t be that easy,¡± I said. ¡°But I guess I have no choice but to try it.¡± I shook my head. ¡°If I¡¯m being honest, I wouldn¡¯t even be thinking about it this much, but he¡¯s the only family that I have left.¡± ¡°Aw, man. You need to make up with him then,¡± Mark said. ¡°Do you know where he¡¯s staying here in Hawaii?¡± ¡°Not a clue,¡± I said, shaking my head. ¡°All I know is that I was over at Gretchen¡¯s ce yesterday and we went for a walk on the beach, and that¡¯s when he ran into us, so we assume he must be somewhere in that vicinity. But that doesn¡¯t narrow it down all that much.¡± Mark shook his head, a grin on his face. ¡°Man, I knew I was going to be able to pay you back one of these days!¡± he eximed. ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked. ¡°One of my really good friends is a police officer here. He can find your man, no worries. What¡¯s his name?¡± ¡°Jeffrey Wall,¡± I said. ¡°I think that¡¯s still hisst name. For all I know, he¡¯s changed it to have nothing to do with me ever again.¡± ¡°I doubt he¡¯d do that,¡± Mark said. ¡°You might have been a prick to him, but you¡¯re still his brother, underneath it all.¡± ¡°But the media might have gone after him, given his name,¡± I pointed out. Mark rolled his eyes. ¡°Do you not realize how many dudes in the world have thest name ¡®Wall?''¡± he asked. ¡°It¡¯s not exactly a unique surname.¡± When I still hesitated, Mark shook his head. ¡°Come on,¡± he said. ¡°You¡¯re not the person that I thought you were; you haven¡¯t been the Christian Wall since you¡¯ve been here in Hawaii, and not since you and Gretchen have started your fling. Just be that person, admit that you¡¯re wrong, and I¡¯m sure your brother will forgive you in a heartbeat. He¡¯d have to.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± I finally said. ¡°Figure out where he is, and take me there.¡± Two hourster, I found myself standing nervously outside my brother¡¯s hotel room door. I smoothed down the bottom of my shirt and bit my lower lip, trying to think of what I wanted to say. I had a pretty good script for it in my head. Something in me wished that I had notecards with me or something like that, but I knew he would tell me I was being insincere if I pulled a stunt like that. It wasn¡¯t that I was feeling at all insincere; I just wanted to script this, because otherwise, I was afraid- ¡°What the hell are you doing here?¡± Jeff asked,ing up behind me. And yes, just like I¡¯d expected, I found that all the words I¡¯d meant to say had left my brain. On instinct, I pulled him into a rough hug, patting him on the back a few times. He was stiff against me, though. ¡°I said, what the hell are you doing here?¡± he snapped when I had finally released him. I ran a hand back through my hair, unable to meet his steely eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I admitted, swallowing hard against a mouth suddenly gone dry. I thought hard about the conversation that Mark and I had had. I remembered how he had told me to be myself, not the guy who needed things to be scripted out before he could talk to the press. I knew what I needed to say. I took a deep breath and began. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said. ¡°I should have said that years ago, but I didn¡¯t think that you would listen. And now I know that whether you listen to me or not, whether you believe me or not, it¡¯s important for me to say it. I¡¯m sorry. I know that I was a dick to you. I made my money, and even though you were the only person who ever really supported me before the business started to take off, I ditched you. I quit meeting up with you. I quit even answering your emails. And there was that whole¡­¡± I broke off, clearing my throat a little and looking guiltily off to the side. He knew exactly what I was referring to, without me delving into greater detail. ¡°We have a lot of history,¡± I forged on. ¡°And only some of that history has been good, but I remember when you were my best friend, Jeff. I¡¯m not asking you to be that again, and I¡¯m not even asking you to support me. I guess I¡¯m asking you to believe that I¡¯m sorry.¡± Jeff stared at me for a long moment, and then he began a sarcastic slow p. ¡°Wow, Chris,¡± he said, shaking his head. ¡°Just, wow. I didn¡¯t think you had it in you. Tell me, which one of your PR guys wrote that one? The same one who wrote your resignation speech from Sunrise Real Estate?¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t resigned,¡± I told him. ¡°Oh?¡± Jeff asked, raising an eyebrow at me. ¡°Let¡¯s see, sure, maybe you haven¡¯t technically resigned. There was just that whole apology thing, where you said you were going to go fuck around for a few months, which I assume is what you¡¯re doing here in Hawaii?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not going to be a few months,¡± I told him. ¡°I¡¯m going back in a couple of weeks, in January. Once the New Year starts. They need me.¡± ¡°They need you,¡± Jeff scoffed. ¡°What, they thrive off the bad press that you give them?¡± ¡°I¡¯m the face of thepany,¡± I said, shrugging a little. ¡°Sure, I haven¡¯t acted like it in recent years. I have caused our stocks to dip, and I understand that more and more the longer I¡¯m away from it. I¡¯m starting to see how well thepany could do if¡­¡± I swallowed hard. ¡°If I wasmitted to it, and professional, and everything else that the guys always asked me to be.¡± Jeff was staring at me for a long moment. ¡°You look serious.¡± ¡°I am serious,¡± I said to him. ¡°The longer I¡¯m here in Hawaii, the more I realize that the way I¡¯ve been living hasn¡¯t been particrly healthy. For thepany or me or the people around me. And I could do so much more.¡± ¡°But you¡¯re still sleeping with random chicks,¡± Jeff said, shaking his head. ¡°I saw you, on the beach with that woman. Bet you took her home and-¡± ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± I interrupted. ¡°Before you say anything against Gretchen, you should know that she¡¯s the only person who I¡¯ve been with since I¡¯vee to Hawaii,¡± I told him. ¡°She and I have been seeing each other at least a few times a week, and not just for sex. We go on dates, and we went to a luau, and I met all of her friends from around the ind.¡± ¡°God,¡± he said, still staring incredulously at me. ¡°You¡¯re serious about someone? For real? Or is this just another one of those things that you would say to the reporters?¡± ¡°No,¡± I said, shaking my head. Iughed a little. ¡°You don¡¯t know how nice it¡¯s been to be here and not have to deal with reporters. I think that might be part of why I¡¯m starting to feel like myself again. I¡¯m not constantly lying and fielding questions and whatever. It¡¯s been nice.¡± ¡°That makes a lot of sense,¡± Jeff said, cocking his head to the side a little. This time, he was the one who came in for a hug. ¡°Look, man, I¡¯m sorry to be so suspicious about this all, but I still keep honestly suspecting that you¡¯ve, I don¡¯t know, got a whole line of cameras in this hall who are about to jump out and tell me how badly you¡¯ve just punked me or something.¡± ¡°Never,¡± I said. Jeffughed. ¡°Bullshit,¡± he said. ¡°Twenty-seven-year-old Christian totally would have pulled a stunt like that, just to prove that he could, to himself as much as the world.¡± I grimaced. ¡°I¡¯d like to think I¡¯vee a little way since then,¡± I said. ¡°You probably have,¡± Jeff said. He ran a hand back through his hair, a gesture that was familiar enough since it was one of my own nervous, thoughtful gestures. We were more simr than we were different when it came down to it. ¡°Let me take you out to dinner sometime,¡± I told him. ¡°How much longer are you here in Hawaii?¡± ¡°Just until tomorrow, unfortunately,¡± Jeff said, shrugging a little. ¡°Have to get back to the grind. But you know, Boston isn¡¯t that far away from New York. Maybe you¡¯ll make it up to see me some time. Give me your number, and I¡¯ll text you my address.¡± ¡°That would be great,¡± I said, already pulling out my phone so that I could punch in his digits as he reeled them off. I went back to my hotel after that and flopped down across the bed with my shoes still on, feeling drained but happy at the same time. It was such a relief to have finally made up with Jeff, after so many long years of fighting with him. The first thing I wanted to do was call Gretchen, but I knew she had a slew of appointments that afternoon in the aftermath of the holiday; lots of people were going home that week so they could get back to work once the new year started. When I picked up my phone to text her anyway, the thing started ringing. It was Paul on the other end. ¡°Hey man,¡± he said. ¡°Gotta keep this short because I¡¯m actually on my way to a meeting with some of our guys in Asia,¡± he said. ¡°But I was just wondering if you¡¯d booked your flight home yet. Some of our investors have been asking, and it would be great if we could put out a press release for a nned press conference in the new year featuring you.¡± I tried to keep from groaning out loud. ¡°I¡¯ve looked at flights,¡± I told him. ¡°But I haven¡¯t booked anything just yet. Waiting to see if the prices fluctuate at all. Or if there are anyst-minute deals that I can take advantage of.¡± ¡°You know things don¡¯t work that way around holidays,¡± Paul said, the frown clear in his voice. I knew he knew I was just dying, but he didn¡¯t know the reason for it. ¡°Is everything okay over there? You haven¡¯t blown through your millions already, have you?¡± I forced augh. ¡°No, of course not,¡± I told him. ¡°I just haven¡¯t figured out which flight I want to book yet, that¡¯s all. But I promise you. I¡¯ll be there in New York by mid-January at thetest.¡± ¡°We need you sooner than that, I think,¡± Paul said grimly. ¡°If you can¡¯t be here on January 1st, I think January 4th is thetest that we could set things and still keep our investors happy. And you know what happens when we have happy investors.¡± I suppressed a sigh. ¡°Yeah,¡± I said. ¡°Yeah, okay. I¡¯ll make sure and book a flight in the next couple of days, and I¡¯ll send you the details once I have them.¡± ¡°Thanks, man,¡± Paul said. We talked briefly about our Christmases, and then Paul had to go into his meeting. I hung up feeling as though there was a lead weight in my stomach. I couldn¡¯t believe that I would be leaving so soon. I was going to have to find some way to share the news with Gretchen. I could already see the tearful look that she would give me. I could already feel my heart ache at the pain I was about to cause her. But it was unavoidable, and I¡¯d known that from the start. We both had. So, there was no one really to me here.N?velDrama.Org owns this. Episode One Hundred & Thirteen Gretchen¡¯s [POV] I went over to Christian¡¯s hotel right after breakfast, marching up to the door and knocking firmly enough that I knew he could hear it. When he came to the door, he looked as though he¡¯d just tumbled out of bed. ¡°What are you doing here so early?¡± he asked with a yawn. I pped my hands together. ¡°Come on, get dressed,¡± I urged him. ¡°We¡¯re going surfing today.¡± It was worth it for the grin on his face alone. He immediately looked much more awake. ¡°Cool,¡± he said. ¡°You know, in all the time that I¡¯ve been here, I still haven¡¯t set aside time to learn how to surf.¡± ¡°I know,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s why I figured today might be a good day. I looked at the wave forecast, and apparently, there are a few spots over by Turtle Beach where things are a little calm, still with great waves, but ones that a beginner can ride. Or at least attempt to ride.¡± I winked at him. ¡°Come on. Get some board shorts on, and we¡¯ll go!¡± When we got to the beach, he looked dubiously out at the waves, which were cresting probably taller than I was, and spilling over into frothy whitecaps. ¡°Are you sure about this?¡± he asked me. ¡°I have never surfed before.¡± ¡°I know that,¡± I told him, grinning. ¡°Trust me. This is going to feel like nothing. Anyway, I¡¯ll guide you through all of it. The worst you¡¯re going to get are a few bruises; don¡¯t worry.¡± ¡°Oh, just a few bruises,¡± he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. ¡°Well, do you want to learn or not?¡± I asked, folding my arms over my chest. I watched him stare out at the waves for a moment longer, and then he finally sighed. ¡°Okay,¡± he said, letting me lead him over to a board rental shop. I had a couple of boards in my quiver, but none that would suit a beginner, and especially none that were made for someone so much taller than me. Still, I knew Jessica, the owner of the shop, so we were able to get a pretty good deal on the day-long rental. A little whileter, he had already mastered the ability to ride out to the waves, and we were able to sit out there looking for the best waves to approach. ¡°What about that one?¡± he asked, pointing toward one off to our left. ¡°Too far over,¡± I said, shrugging a little. ¡°With your muscles, you could probably reach that before it crested. But for me, I may be in pretty good shape, but that wave would be gone by the time I reached it.¡± Christianughed. ¡°Fair enough. So, what, we just wait here until something goodes along?¡± I shrugged. ¡°Yeah, pretty much.¡± I shed a grin in his direction. ¡°What, do you have some objection to my presence?¡± ¡°No,¡± he said, shaking his head, looking altogether too serious. ¡°Good,¡± I said, nodding a little. ¡°In that case, there¡¯s going to be another luau tonight for New Year¡¯s Eve. If you think that thest luau was a party, you can think again. It¡¯s got nothing on the New Year¡¯s Eve party.¡± ¡°Sounds potentially dangerous,¡± he said with a snort. ¡°Oh, it is,¡± I said,ughing. ¡°We get super drunk and then start lighting off fireworks left and right, without even knowing what they¡¯re meant to do, for the most part. They could go off right in front of a group of us, for all we know. And we light them up anyway.¡± He chuckled. ¡°Sounds like a lot of fun.¡± ¡°It is,¡± I told him. ¡°You¡¯re going toe with me, right?¡± I could see his face churn through aplicated set of emotions. Then, he shrugged and nodded. ¡°Yeah, that would be fun,¡± he said, his very voice sounding guarded. I frowned, but I didn¡¯t want to ruin a good day of surfing with serious conversation. Instead, I pointed to the next big wave. ¡°That¡¯s the one,¡± I told him. ¡°Let¡¯s go!¡± By the end of the day, Christian was pretty bruised up, but we were both stillughing, so I counted that as a sess. Still, he groaned as he sat down on the sand. ¡°You are a punishing teacher, and surfing is a punishing sport!¡± he told me. Iughed. ¡°You were nearly getting the hang of it by the end, though,¡± I told him. ¡°That was great!¡± ¡°¡®Nearly¡¯ is the operative word, though,¡± he said with a grimace. ¡°That¡¯s better than me,¡± I told him. ¡°I bet in one or two more times of surfing, you¡¯d start to have it down. It took me ages to be able to stand up on a board.¡± ¡°Thanks,¡± Christian said, lifting his beer toward me in a ¡®cheers¡¯ gesture. ¡°And seriously, thanks for taking me out here. That was a lot of fun, for all that that was a lot of hard work.¡± We both fell silent for a moment, and I could tell from Christian¡¯s expression that there was something he wanted to say to me, that same serious thing from before,e back to haunt us. Before he could give voice to whatever it was, though, Lino came up to us, shaking the water out of his hair. ¡°Hey Gretchen, hey Christian,¡± he greeted, a bit smile on his face. ¡°Man, the surf was great today, huh? Normally I¡¯m over at the Cove working on some more difficult things, but every once in a while, it¡¯s so nice toe back to our roots and just coast some of the baby waves, don¡¯t you think?¡± ¡°I was just teaching Christian how to surf,¡± I told him, trying to keep my voice neutral. I couldn¡¯t help shifting subtly closer to Christian, though, and I was relieved when he draped an arm around my shoulders.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Cool, cool,¡± Lino said, nodding. ¡°Yeah, I saw you out there, man. You¡¯re leaning a little too far back, away from the waves, but that¡¯s only natural if it¡¯s your first time. It¡¯s only natural to be afraid of the waves and whatever.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not afraid of the waves,¡± Christian said, bristling a little. ¡°Nah, man, we all have to be afraid of the waves a little,¡± Lino said, as though he were a surf guru. ¡°If we didn¡¯t respect the waves and Mother Nature, well, that¡¯s how people get killed out there.¡± ¡°Undertows and-¡± Christian began. ¡°Enough,¡± I interrupted, holding up both hands. I turned to Lino. ¡°Look, I¡¯m d you had a good day surfing; we did as well. And I hope you had a good Christmas with your mom as well. But if you don¡¯t mind¡­¡± Lino looked taken aback at my abruptness, and when I nced over, Christian did as well. But fortunately, Lino took the hint and finally walked off, back to his surf buddies. ¡°Well, that was interesting,¡± Christianmented as the other man walked away. ¡°You want to exin that one to me?¡± I sighed and buried my face in my hands, trying to press away the migraine that I could already feeling on after that whole meeting. ¡°Like I said, Lino is my ex,¡± I told Christian, trying to shrug it off. ¡°There was something more to it than that, or you¡¯re more of a bitch than I realized,¡± Christian said. ¡°I guess it¡¯s not thetter, so I¡¯m wondering about the former.¡± ¡°He got me pregnant,¡± I finally cried. ¡°We¡¯d been together for a while at that point, and when I found out that I was pregnant, I was so happy, Christian. I was sure that we were going to get married and be one happy family, I guess. Him and me, and our unborn daughter.¡± ¡°I take it Lino didn¡¯t see things that way?¡± Christian asked, his expression already darkening. I shook my head miserably. ¡°Not at all,¡± I told him. ¡°He wanted me to have an abortion. I refused. I told him he could leave us if that¡¯s what he wanted, but I wasn¡¯t going to get an abortion. He told me that I was being selfish, but it was my child as much as his. I had every right to decide if I wanted to keep her. Especially since it was my body that she was going to be popping out of.¡± Christian sighed and began to rub my back, the touch soothing. It gave me the strength to continue. ¡°I refused to have an abortion, but still, I had a miscarriage. I know that those things happen, I know that now, anyway. I didn¡¯t know that before, I guess. It was surprising to me, afterward, to learn just how many women miscarry.¡± I took a deep breath. ¡°And Lino was happy about it. He was d that I had miscarried the baby because it meant that he never had to worry about taking responsibility for it. For us.¡± ¡°That¡¯s horrible,¡± Christian said, his shock clear in his voice. He didn¡¯t even sound particrly angry like I might have expected from him. Instead, he just sounded upset. On my behalf. ¡°Yeah, it was pretty rough,¡± I said, dashing away a few tears that had fallen. ¡°Lino and I fought over it. Finally, he told me that he just couldn¡¯t stand to be around me anymore. Said that I was too emotional and that he should never have slept with me, to begin with. Said that it was my fault that I had gotten pregnant, that I must not have taken my birth control pills properly, or something like that. He said a lot of horrible things. That¡¯s neither here nor there now, though.¡± I looked up at him, needing him to see the truth of things in my eyes. ¡°I was devastated for a long time,¡± I told him. ¡°And that¡¯s part of why Mina was so uncertain about letting me get into things with you; she¡¯s just worried about me, as a good friend should be. And I love her for that.¡± I nced down. I didn¡¯t want to admit to him that what I felt for him was ten times what I had ever felt for Lino. He would be leaving soon enough, and it wasn¡¯t fair to either of us to start professing our love or anything like that. ¡°Come here, you,¡± Christian said, pulling me even closer and resting his cheek on top of my head. ¡°I can¡¯t even imagine what you¡¯ve gone through,¡± he told me. ¡°That must have been so difficult, and you¡¯re so brave to have gotten through that and stuck to your beliefs the whole time. That¡¯s amazing.¡± ¡°Thanks,¡± I said softly. ¡°So, this luau,¡± he said, thankfully changing the subject. ¡°You want me toe with you?¡± ¡°Absolutely,¡± I told him. ¡°The way you start off the New Year is key in determining your fortune for the rest of the year, right?¡± I wished I could take back the words as soon as I¡¯d said them. I wasn¡¯t insinuating that he should stay there with me in Hawaii for the rest of the year, just that¡­ But he kissed me on the top of the head, fingers still stroking down my arm. ¡°Sounds like a n,¡± he told me easily. Episode One Hundred & Fourteen Christian¡¯s [POV] I stared at theputer screen as I received confirmation of my flight. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, wondering how I was going to break the news to Gretchen. I didn¡¯t want to leave so soon, but George had scheduled the annual New Year¡¯s press conference so that we could beat out some of ourpetitors who would be holding theirs a few dayster. The idea was, if we could get into people¡¯s heads first in the new year, then we could drum up some additional business. I understood all of that, from a business perspective. But it meant that if I was to be part of the press conference, and part of the future of the business, I supposed, then I needed to be back in New York beginning on January 2nd at thetest. There was a knock on the door, and I grimaced, knowing that it was Gretchen,ing to take me down to the luau. I wished that we could just have onest, special night together without this hanging over our heads, but I knew that that wasn¡¯t possible. I owed it to her to let her know that I was leaving the next morning. ¡°Come on,e on,¡± Gretchen said, grabbing my arm and dragging me immediately out the door. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m runningte, and we¡¯re about to miss the big town fireworks show. Trust me, that¡¯s going to be great, and we don¡¯t want to miss it!¡± Iughed a little and let her drag me along, d that I had a bit of a reprieve, no matter how short it might be. We made it down to the beach just in time to watch the town¡¯s fireworks show, which was mirrored on a few of the beaches by locals and tourists alike, who were already getting the merriment going. Gretchen leaned close to me, her presence a warm weight at my side, and I couldn¡¯t help feeling better than I had in a while. But in the back of my head, I was still trying to figure out how to tell her that I was leaving early the next morning. When the fireworks ended, we got into Gretchen¡¯s car and drove over to the beach for the luau. The ce was even busier than it had been the previous time, and there were a few different fires lit, with people clustering around each of them. Gretchenughed a little, shaking her head. ¡°Every year, it seems like there are more of us down here,¡± she said, ¡°but it¡¯s still just always locals! I don¡¯t know where they alle from.¡± Iughed and followed her down onto the beach, wishing I¡¯d had a moment to tell her about my departure when we¡¯d been in the car. I couldn¡¯t tell her about it here when we were surrounded by so many people, and theter it got, the drunker everyone was probably going to get. I¡¯d need to find some way to pull her aside, at some point. ¡°Hey guys,¡± Mina said, detaching herself from the group anding up to us, giving Gretchen a big hug. Gretchen giggled and nearly fell as Mina went into it with a bit too much force. ¡°Hey, girl,¡± she said. ¡°How¡¯s the luau?¡± ¡°Always a good time,¡± Mina said, beaming at her. ¡°I¡¯m d you coulde too, Christian.¡± ¡°Me too,¡± I said, forcing myself to smile, to stop thinking about what I needed to tell Gretchen. I would just have to wait for the right opportunity. Of course, setting aside those thoughts was easier said than done. ¡°You seem a little bit off,¡± Gretchen whispered to me a little whileter. I frowned over at her. ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked, even though I knew she was right. ¡°I¡¯ve been talking to people and everything else, same as you.¡± ¡°Yeah, I know,¡± she said, sounding hurt at my tone. She shook her head. ¡°Just, if you want to go, we can go.¡± ¡°Why would I want to go?¡± I asked, rolling my eyes so that she would think I wasn¡¯t even considering it. The truth was, leaving was probably the best idea. I wanted to enjoy the luau, but at the same time, I couldn¡¯t seem to put aside my thoughts. If I could just get a quiet moment alone with her, it would be great. ¡°I¡¯m going to get another drink,¡± Gretchen told me, still looking doubtful and concerned. ¡°Do you want anything?¡± I held up the beer in my hand, which I had barely touched even though we must have been there for at least an hour. ¡°I¡¯m still good,¡± I told her. I was afraid that if I drank too much, I¡¯d do something that I regretted. This night was going to be long enough already without that. And getting longer, it seemed. As soon as Gretchen walked off to get another drink, Lino came up to me. ¡°You¡¯re lucky, you know,¡± the man said, watching Gretchen move through the crowd, pausing now and then tough with some of her friends. ¡°Excuse me?¡± I asked, even though I knew I shouldn¡¯t engage the man, especially not after hearing the whole backstory between him and Gretchen. I wasn¡¯t the kind of guy to start fights usually, but if anyone deserved a good kick in the balls, this was the guy. ¡°You got to have her, and now you get to leave,¡± Lino said. ¡°No strings attached. You just got to have all the fun parts of a rtionship with Gretchen without all the bullshit thates with it if you¡¯re with her long-term.¡± I gaped at him, wondering if these words wereing out of his mouth. ¡°You¡¯re an asshole,¡± I told him, shaking my head. ¡°Gretchen is an amazing girl. She is one of the kindest, most giving people that I¡¯ve ever met, and if you weren¡¯t able to support her, if you weren¡¯t able to work through a rough patch with her, then you never deserved her.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know the whole story,¡± Lino said, shaking his head. ¡°Oh, I¡¯m pretty sure I do,¡± I said. ¡°And guess what? You were wrong. And I can tell that you¡¯re starting to realize how wrong you were, that¡¯s why you¡¯reing up to talk to her every time you get the chance. That¡¯s why you¡¯re always following her with your eyes here at these luaus. You¡¯re realizing what you lost, and you¡¯re desperate to get that back. But guess what? You are never going to get her back. Move along.¡± Linoughed. ¡°Oh? Because, what, you¡¯re going to stay with her forever? We all know you¡¯re leaving soon. And when ites down to it anyway, Gretchen belongs with someone from the ind. We share the same background, the same way of living, and the same goals in life. You¡¯re just some dude from New York that, sure, was probably a decent fuck for a while. But she¡¯s not going to miss you. And she definitely would never end up with you, even if you stayed here.¡± ¡°Yeah, whatever, buddy,¡± I said, already searching the crowd for Gretchen¡¯s return. As if she sensed my need for her presence, she suddenly materialized at my side, looking between Lino and me. ¡°Is everything okay?¡± she asked slowly. ¡°Yeah, yeah, just chatting a little with your beau,¡± Lino said, giving her a charming smile. ¡°But I have to go bother Madge for her pineapple cake recipe; you know, she still hasn¡¯t given it to me, after all these years!¡± Gretchenughed, but the second Lino walked off, she turned concerned eyes on me. ¡°Is everything okay?¡± she asked. ¡°Things seemed a little tense.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± I snapped, wishing she would quit asking me that. Something about being around Gretchen and her ex had me on edge. I was working on being less vtile, but I still had a tiger inside of me. It was insecurity. The need to be front and center and Lino being there left me feeling a little less than. It was fucking with me. Badly. ¡°He just wanted to chat. It wasn¡¯t anything important.¡± As much as I wanted to y it off, it was important. Maybe I¡¯d made a mistake by being with her, starting to fall for her. My fight or flight kicked into gear and I knew I was in trouble. Fuck me. ¡°Maybe we should go,¡± Gretchen said slowly, putting a hand on my arm. ¡°Seriously, Christian, I don¡¯t care about the luau; it¡¯s just any other luau. At the end of the night, I¡¯m just happy to have you.¡± I shook her hand off my arm. ¡°You don¡¯t have me,¡± I snarled. ¡°We were never doing anything more than just having fun, Gretchen, you know that. It could never be anything more. You wouldn¡¯t survive a day in New York, and me? I could never do this.¡± I gave a sharp gesture around to the people at the luau. ¡°You all spend your days not doing anything; I could never do that. You don¡¯t have me, Gretchen. I¡¯m going back to New York.¡± Gretchen looked shocked, with one of her hands up over her mouth, and there were tears in her eyes as well. I knew we had to be making a bit of a scene, but I couldn¡¯t find it in me to care. Better than this whole thing ended in mes, that there was nothing toe back to because if I left myself something toe back to, who knew what I might do once I reached New York? I needed to get my head back into things, to be the cool and uncaring real estate exec. My vacation was over. ¡°You¡¯re leaving already?¡± Gretchen asked, her voice barely a whisper. ¡°Yeah,¡± I snapped. ¡°I¡¯ve got my tickets booked and everything.¡± I nced around, definitely not in the mood for more drinking and socializing, and fireworks. There was no magic left in this luau, not for me. ¡°I should go.¡± ¡°I drove you,¡± Gretchen said, even though it must have pained her to even offer to take me back. ¡°I¡¯ll call a cab,¡± I said shortly. ¡°Has to be someone working tonight, even though most of you seem tock any sort of work ethic.¡± I was needlessly cruel to her, and I knew that. Maybe she didn¡¯t work in a white-cor profession, but I knew how hard she worked. And Mina as well, and so many other people who I had met around the ind. But if I was going to burn bridges, I needed to do it spectacrly. Gretchen was too nice, and I knew that if I only did things halfway, she¡¯d still find it in herself to take me back. Even now, she reached for my arm, trying to plead with me, but I brushed her away and stalked off, refusing to look back. I was on the road before I was able to draw in a deep breath, and I realized that I was shaking all over. It felt like I¡¯d just run a marathon or something, and I couldn¡¯t remember thest time I had had this depth of feeling for anything. Even George had never been able to incite this much passion in me. It took everything I had not to look back, even though I knew that by now, Gretchen would have melted into the crowd to beforted by Mina, her friends. Lino. Fuck. I swallowed hard against a sh of jealousy. But there was nothing I could do about that. If Lino won her back, then he won her back. It wasn¡¯t like I¡¯d ever know, one way or the other. I was never going to be able toe back here, and I wasn¡¯t going to be able to keep in contact with any of them. Even Mark would hate me if he knew what I had just done. I sat down on the curb to wait for my taxi, putting my head down in my hands. I had done exactly what I had to do. But God did it hurtN?velDrama.Org owns this. Episode One Hundred & Fifteen Gretchen¡¯s [POV]This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. I woke up early on January 1st, after a night of fitful sleep interspersed with bouts of tears. Fortunately, I didn¡¯t have any appointments for that day, although maybe it would have been better to have appointments and to keep myself busy. I made a pot of strong coffee and just stood there while it brewed, staring pensively into the liquid, hardly able to believe what had happened the night before. I¡¯d been so excited to bring him to another luau. I¡¯d been so excited to kiss him at midnight. I¡¯d been so excited to start my year with him, surrounded by all of my friends. I hadn¡¯t expected him to act like the Christian who everyone else seemed to know. The guy who just fucked girls and then broke their hearts. God, I was so stupid. All the signs had been there all along. I should have listened to Mina and quit the whole thing before I¡¯d gotten my feelings tied up in it. I brought my coffee out to the porch, and for a moment, I stared down at the romance novel that I¡¯d been readingtely. I carefully set my coffee down on the table and picked up the book, thumbing through it for a moment. Then, I brought it out to the trashcan and dumped it inside. Mina was right all along. There¡¯s no such thing as true love. I¡¯d thought I¡¯d had it, that was the thing. I hadn¡¯t evenbeled it as love inside my head, but I still had been in love. It didn¡¯t matter now. Mina was almost hesitant as she walked up onto my porch that morning. ¡°Hey, girl,¡± she said. ¡°How are you doing?¡± I shook my head. ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± I told her,zily swinging back and forth and trying to pretend that it was normal for me to be lying out here without a book in hand. Mina sighed. ¡°I brought breakfast. Come on. It¡¯s parfaits from that great ce over on the other side of the ind. I got up early to get them.¡± I grimaced. ¡°I¡¯m not hungry,¡± I told her. ¡°I appreciate the effort, but-¡± ¡°I¡¯m not taking no for an answer,¡± Mina said, shaking her head. ¡°Come on, get up.¡± I sighed and allowed myself to be directed out toward the back porch, stopping on the way for more coffee for myself, as well as a mug for Mina. ¡°So, what happenedst night?¡± she asked as we sat down at the table. I shrugged. ¡°You probably saw all of it.¡± ¡°Yeah, we saw you guys fighting, but we moved away from you guys, so nobody heard what you were fighting about.¡± ¡°He¡¯s going back to New York,¡± I said. That was all that mattered about it anyway. ¡°You¡¯ve known for weeks that he was going to eventually go back to New York,¡± Mina said, sounding confused. ¡°What was there to argue about? Unless he was trying to get you to go to New York with him? Or you were trying to get him to stay here?¡± ¡°Oh no,¡± I said with a bitterugh. ¡°No, that is not what happened.¡± ¡°What happened, then?¡± Mina asked gently. I sighed. ¡°He was just being a jerk, okay? He said that there was never anything between us, that we were just fucking. Which, of course, we were; he¡¯s Christian Wall. He¡¯s done this all over the world. If you want to say, ¡®I told you so,¡¯ go right ahead.¡± Mina blinked over at me. ¡°Oh, honey,¡± she said sympathetically. ¡°But the thing is, he hasn¡¯t done this all over the world. There are probably a few other girls who he has taken home more than once. As far as anyone knows, though, he¡¯s never been monogamous with someone, and not for a whole month. He doesn¡¯t even really date people the way that he dated you. Besides, I¡¯ve seen the two of you together. If you¡¯re trying to tell me that he didn¡¯t have any feelings for you, you¡¯re either blind or seriously deluded.¡± I swallowed hard, stirring my parfait but unable to even take a bite of it. ¡°He said, though, that-¡± ¡°Oh, fuck what he said,¡± Mina said, rolling her eyes. ¡°Honestly, he¡¯s a guy. Probably he¡¯s massivelymitment-shy, and he¡¯s already thinking ahead to the fact that he¡¯s going to have to go back to New York. He doesn¡¯t know what that means for the two of you, so instead of trying to work through his feelings and talk things out ande up with a solution like a normal person would, he panicked and tried to get rid of the whole thing.¡± I cracked a slight smile at that. ¡°That is possible,¡± I admitted. I shook my head. ¡°I thought you didn¡¯t believe in the idea of true love, though. You think we were probably just fucking, right?¡± Mina paused, considering her words carefully. ¡°Maybe if you believe in true love, then true love exists,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m still not saying that I believe in it, but I can tell that you care a lot about the guy, Gretchen. And like I said, I¡¯m pretty sure he cares for you as well. I¡¯d imagine he probably has woken up regretting all of that, but he doesn¡¯t know how to apologize to you.¡± She grinned crookedly. ¡°The great Christian Wall doesn¡¯t normally have to apologize to anyone.¡± ¡°What should I do then?¡± I asked, biting my lower lip. ¡°I¡¯d go over there,¡± Mina said confidently. ¡°I¡¯d confront him and ask him aboutst night. See if he meant everything that he said. And if he did, let that give you closure. You don¡¯t want to spend the rest of your life wondering about how if you¡¯d maybe tried a little harder or given him one more chance, he might have stayed with you.¡± ¡°But even if we have that conversation and it turns out that we do have feelings for one another, what then?¡± I asked. ¡°It¡¯s not like there¡¯s any future in it. We¡¯re from two different worlds. I¡¯m not going to move to New York with him, and he¡¯s never going to move to Hawaii to be with me. Maybe it¡¯s best to leave things as they are.¡± ¡°Are you trying to tell me that if Christian was the love of your life, you wouldn¡¯t hop on a ne to New York in an instant?¡± Mina asked, raising an eyebrow at me. ¡°I know the kind of stories you read and the movies that you watch.¡± I sighed. ¡°None of that stuff is real, though.¡± ¡°Maybe not,¡± Mina agreed. ¡°But if you talked it out, maybe you¡¯d be able to figure out a solution. Like California! He could do his real estate work from California just as easily as New York, and I¡¯m sure you could find some bit of SoCal that was so much like Hawaii that you¡¯d forget all about this stuff. Your parents are perfectly happy there, remember.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I said slowly, wondering why I hadn¡¯t even considered that before. I¡¯d been stuck in such a ck-and-white view of our rtionship that I¡¯d forgotten there could be options. ¡°So, go over there,¡± Mina urged. ¡°Talk to him.¡± I shook my head and then stood up abruptly. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡± I shook my head. ¡°And seriously, thanks for bringing the parfaits.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll put yours in the fridge for you; you can have itter,¡± Mina assured me. I drove a little too fast getting over to Christian¡¯s hotel, but fortunately, no one stopped me. When I got there, I spent a momentposing myself outside Christian¡¯s door. I wasn¡¯t sure what I wanted to say, but I was sure something woulde to me. I took a deep breath, tossed my hair back over my shoulders, and knocked. And waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, I knocked again. There was still no reply, and I sighed. After all of this, of course, he would be out somewhere, probably having a leisurely brunch or something, trying to forget about the night before. I went down to the hotel desk, figuring I could leave a message for him. ¡°Hi, sorry, I was hoping I could leave a message for Christian Wall, for when hees back to his room?¡± The woman behind the counter giggled a little. ¡°You can do that, but I¡¯m not sure when he¡¯ll be back,¡± she said. I shook my head. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s fine,¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t know where he is right now; I don¡¯t know how long he¡¯ll be. But I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll all recognize him when hees in, rig ht? And if you could just give him a message.¡± She looked down at her watch. ¡°Well, at this minute, I¡¯d say he¡¯s probably flying over the Pacific Ocean,¡± she told me. ¡°He checked out this morning; he¡¯s headed back to New York.¡± I stared at her for a moment, notprehending her words. ¡°He checked out?¡± I asked slowly. ¡°Yeah,¡± the woman said, chipper as ever. ¡°Said it was time for him to get back to work, that his vacation had been long enough.¡± She shrugged. ¡°Anyway, if you were hoping to ask him out or whatever, you missed your chance. He didn¡¯t sleep with anyone the whole time he was here, anyway. Very strange behavior from him.¡± I spun away from her, not needing to hear more of her opinions on Christian¡¯s behavior or more spections about what I could want to talk to him about. I walked slowly out to my car and sat there for a moment in the driver¡¯s seat, just staring off into space. He had left, then. He was gone. Maybe he had meant everything that he had said the night before. Maybe we had never really been doing anything more than fucking. I bit my lower lip, trying my best not to cry. Because after all, I¡¯d known this wasing, hadn¡¯t I? I¡¯d known it since before we¡¯d even started dating. I let out a shaky breath and turned the key in the ignition. There was nothing else to do. Episode One Hundred & Sixteen Christian¡¯s [POV] I drummed my fingers against my armrest, staring out the window as the ne took off. I had never feltpelled to look back before, and God only knew how many business trips I¡¯d been on over the years. But I had specifically chosen a window seat instead of my usual aisle seat, and as the ne rose to cruise altitude, I found my eyes scanning thend below, charting the beaches, the towns, and the ces I was leaving behind. Remembering the people I was leaving behind. It wasn¡¯t supposed to feel like this, that was the thing. My mission had been to go out and get the partying out of my system. I was meant to sleep with a new girl every night, until fucking somehow, miraculously, managed to get boring. But none of that had happened. And here I was, flying back to New York City but still dwelling on everything that I was leaving behind. I could nevere back, though, even if I wanted to. Not after the way that I had treated Gretchen. God, she would have to hate me after that, especially once she found out that I had just left like this. Without even telling her. It felt like the biggest dick move of the century, but it wasn¡¯t like there was anything I could do now. Besides, it was for the best. I had to get my head back into work mode. Back into city mode. The vacation was over. When I arrived in New York and grabbed my bags from the carousel, I found Paul there waiting for me. He pulled me into a hug, pping me a few times on the back. ¡°Man, it¡¯s good to see you!¡± he said. ¡°And Jesus, you¡¯re looking tan. I¡¯m envious.¡± Iughed and shook my head, dragging a hand back through my hair. ¡°I¡¯m always tanner than you, man.¡± ¡°I know, I know,¡± Paul sighed. ¡°The fates are cruel.¡± He grinned and led me out toward one of thepany cars. ¡°So, how was the trip? How were your holidays?¡± ¡°Everything was great,¡± I said. It wasn¡¯t entirely the truth, but he didn¡¯t need to know about the whole mess there at the end. I wasn¡¯t about to tell him about Gretchen; no matter how good a friend Paul was, that just didn¡¯t seem like any of his business. It wasn¡¯t like I was going to marry the girl or anything anyway. I forced a smile. ¡°It¡¯s beaches, beautiful women, good food. What more does a man need in life?¡± Paulughed. ¡°You¡¯re making me want to go there for my next trip,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ve seen the few photos that you¡¯ve bothered to post online, and it all looks beautiful.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t want to post more than that because I didn¡¯t want some journalist to take notice and decide toe find me,¡± I admitted. ¡°I was pleasantly anonymous while I was down there.¡± Paul raised both eyebrows at me. ¡°And how did you feel about that?¡± he asked. ¡°I can¡¯t imagine Christian Wall, the country¡¯s sexiest young bachelor, to take well to anonymity.¡± I rolled my eyes, lightly shoving his shoulder. ¡°Honestly, it was pretty nice,¡± I told him honestly. I frowned. ¡°I¡¯m used to the adoring public and all of that, but at the same time, it was nice not to have to worry about journalists following my every move or worry about which girl I was going to take home with me at the end of the night or any of it.¡± ¡°You haven¡¯t missed work at all, have you?¡± Paul sighed, shaking his head. He narrowed his eyes at me. ¡°Are you sure that you¡¯re ready toe back? And answer me truthfully. I¡¯m not sure we¡¯ll be able to save your position again if you start¡­¡± ¡°Acting up again?¡± I asked, grinning crookedly over at him. Paul looked like he wanted to reassure me that those weren¡¯t the words that he would have used, but I knew what he was thinking. I sighed. ¡°Look, Hawaii wasn¡¯t the wild blowout that I was expecting to have,¡± I told him. ¡°But it was nice to just rx for once. I can¡¯t remember thest time I just rxed. So, yeah, maybe I haven¡¯t missed work in some ways, but I think I¡¯m ready toe back.¡± It wasn¡¯t like I could go back to Hawaii, back to my time with Gretchen. ¡°Good,¡± Paul said. ¡°Honestly, you seem a lot more mature. I¡¯m d to see that from you.¡± We pulled up in front of the office, and I sighed. ¡°I could have used a day off to get over the jeg, though,¡± I said. Paul grimaced. ¡°Yeah, I know,¡± he said. ¡°But Alex and George are waiting to brief you on everything so that you¡¯ll be ready for the press conference.¡±This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. I groaned and pulled myself out of the car, shivering a little in the frigid New York air. Even a jacket wasn¡¯t enough to let me disregard this cool breeze after the warmth of Hawaii. ¡°I still don¡¯t know what the point is of having a press conference so early in the year,¡± I said. Paul shrugged. ¡°Me neither,¡± he admitted. ¡°I tried to tell them that we could wait another week or so, but I think they¡¯re worried about our numbers slipping. They were rising so rapidly for a while there, most of December, so we closed out the year strong. But not as strong as we might have predicted. They¡¯ve stagnated for the past couple of weeks.¡± ¡°That¡¯s because no one wants to buy a home over the holidays,¡± I pointed out, rolling my eyes a little. ¡°We¡¯ve always seen our numbers stagnate a little in thetter half of December when they weren¡¯t going down.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to tell me that,¡± Paul said, rolling his eyes as well. ¡°Look, best to just humor them. Anyway, it gets this out of the way, and then you can ease your way back into the day-to-day work of running a business.¡± ¡°True.¡± When we entered the office, I was surprised to see the number of smiles I received. I had thought everyone would still be a bit more unhappy with me. But even George came up and shook my hand, nodding at me. ¡°Good work keeping out of the news for a few weeks,¡± he said gruffly. I wanted to say something snarky in response to him, but I decided that just this once, I¡¯d let thement slide. After all, it was my first day back, and thest thing I wanted was for them to send me off again. I didn¡¯t know where I would go, next time. ¡°All right, so,¡± Alex began, flipping open the binder in front of him; he¡¯d always been the most organized of all of us. ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve seen, but our numbers have been upst month.¡± ¡°Thanks, in part to¡± George began, but he quelled at a look from Paul. It seemed that some things would never change, but it was almostforting to be back around them. It felt as if Hawaii and the whole debacle with Gretchen had never happened. Almost. ¡°Are you paying attention, Christian?¡± Alex asked suddenly, and I realized that I¡¯d tuned him out for a couple of minutes. I thought back through what he had just said, recalling as much of it as I could. ¡°Yeah, the shareholders are really happy with our current numbers, and there are a record number of people buying houses at the moment. And there¡¯s a new show that you¡¯re hoping that I¡¯ll be on board with so that we can draw in some new blood.¡± ¡°Right,¡± Alex said, nodding at me, but I could tell he didn¡¯t believe that I¡¯d been listening. The rest of the meeting passed pretty simrly. I felt as though there was a kind of haze in my brain, as though I was still somehow detached from the proceedings, almost as though I hadn¡¯te back from Hawaii at all. I couldn¡¯t seem to quit thinking of Gretchen, thinking of how hurt she must be feeling after my abrupt departure. ¡°Are you doing okay?¡± Paul asked me in an undertone as we drifted out of the meeting. The press conference would be held in just a little while, and I knew that I needed to pull my head together. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m fine,¡± I told him, even though I didn¡¯t feel like I was. ¡°Just a little jegged.¡± I hoped that was all it was, anyway. Just need to clear my head a little and get back into the swing of things. I couldn¡¯t keep thinking of Gretchen; I was never going to see her again. Maybe I should get together a group of friends and go out drinking that night, try to shake this off. It had been a while since I was with one of the sexy New Yorkdies. At the same time, I didn¡¯t have the energy to do that. The idea just wasn¡¯t appealing in the way that it used to be. I smiled at Paul, shaking my head at his concern and trying my best to act normal. ¡°It was a long trip home,¡± I told him. ¡°And even though I flew business ss, I didn¡¯t sleep all that well. I just need to get my head back into things. Don¡¯t worry.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Paul said, even though I could tell that he wasn¡¯t fully convinced. But he let me continue on my way back to my office, where I stood in the doorway for a long moment, staring at my desk. This ce had always seemed like a second home before, but now it seemed almost forbidding. Despite my near-constant worry in Hawaii that the guys weren¡¯t going to want me toe back to the business, I found myself questioning again whether I wanted to be back here. But that was silly; what else was I going to do? Like I had told Gretchen, it wasn¡¯t like I was good at not doing anything, at not working. I shook my head and seated myself behind my desk, opening up my email and beginning to weed through the thousands of messages that I had received during my absence. Episode One Hundred & Seventeen Gretchen¡¯s [POV]Text ? owned by N?velDrama.Org. For once, I was running a bitte getting to work on Monday, not that I waste to meet a client because I always nned to get to the massage parlor half an hour early. But normally, I was closer to an hour early. Mina was waiting for me when I got there, and she peered concernedly at me as I walked up the front steps. ¡°Hey,¡± she said, her voice gentle. ¡°Did you have a rough night?¡± I grimaced, hating that she could probably see the dark circles under my eyes and the frizz in my hair, which I hadn¡¯t quite managed to tame that morning. ¡°It was fine,¡± I lied, unlocking the front door. ¡°Sure,¡± Mina said, sounding like she didn¡¯t believe me. ¡°You know that it¡¯s okay to admit that you¡¯re still upset about the whole thing with Christian, right?¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°I appreciate that,¡± I said. ¡°But I¡¯m not still upset about him. We were just fucking anyway; we both knew that it wasn¡¯t going anywhere. The longer it¡¯s been since I¡¯ve seen him, the less I care.¡± ¡°It¡¯s only been a week,¡± Mina said. I didn¡¯t want to get mad at her, but I didn¡¯t understand how she couldn¡¯t see that even talking about Christian hurt. I just wanted to shove away all my thoughts of him and get on with my life. How much Mina and I were such great friends, was in part because we were so very different. We handled things in different ways. When Mina, when she was upset, wanted to talk about the issue and eat her weight in ice cream, I just wanted to pretend that nothing was wrong and go about my life as though everything was normal. ¡°Anyway,¡± Mina said slowly when I didn¡¯t respond. ¡°I was doing some thinking.¡± ¡°Oh?¡± I said, raising an eyebrow at her. Mina rolled her eyes. ¡°Yeah,¡± she said. ¡°Remember when I was helping you give that message to that older couple? It was so much fun working together, right? And we both know that my pineapple shop wouldn¡¯t be half as sessful as it has been without you sending massage customers over to me for a post-massage shake. So, what if we merged our businesses?¡± ¡°What?¡± I asked, shocked by the proposal. ¡°Think about it,¡± Mina said. ¡°You¡¯d get a little extra help around the massage parlor, and there¡¯d be someone there to help walk-ins or to answer the phone while you were busy with customers. Plus, if Sandy was working for both of us, he could man things out front here, and I could help you out with massage clients, letting you take on even more business. It¡¯s a win-win situation, right?¡± I frowned over at her. ¡°Aren¡¯t people going to think it¡¯s a little weird, having a massage-sh-pineapple shop?¡± ¡°Maybe,¡± Mina said, shrugging. ¡°But only because they don¡¯t know all the health benefits thate with eating pineapple! I mean, just look at my skin.¡± She winked at me, and I had tough. ¡°That¡¯s not because of the pineapple,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s because of the spa visits and-¡± ¡°Okay, okay,¡± Mina said, holding up a hand to stall my arguments. ¡°But seriously, don¡¯t you think it could be perfect? There¡¯s no one else doing anything like it, and we¡¯d get to be coworkers. For real. We¡¯d get to see each other more, and we¡¯d both be drumming up more business for one another and¡­¡± I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair, a gesture that I had subconsciously picked up from Christian. ¡°Yeah, I don¡¯t know,¡± I said, shaking my head. ¡°I¡¯d have to think about it.¡± The thing was, as much as I loved Mina, I wasn¡¯t so sure. And wasn¡¯t there some saying about how you weren¡¯t supposed to do business with your friends? We¡¯d have to figure out all the messy details like how we got paid, based on our clients, or based on thebined shop¡¯s ie. And things like that. Neither of us was very business-minded, to begin with, and it seemed like more of a headache than anything else. But Mina seemed so excited about the prospect that it wasn¡¯t as though I could just tell her no outright. My first customer came in, effectively closing the conversation for now anyway, and Mina smiled and said goodbye, heading back over to her shop. I smiled at the older woman who waited patiently for me to turn my attention to her. ¡°Good morning, and wee to Paradise Massage, Mrs. Talbot. Here¡¯s a massage outfit for you to put on if you just want to step right into the massage room here. I¡¯ll give you a few minutes to getfortable, and then I¡¯ll be in to help you.¡± The words were so routine and familiar by this point that I could probably recite them in my sleep. This was why dating Christian, and everything that was so not routine about that had been so much fun. I sighed and shook my head. It wouldn¡¯t do to be distracted by thoughts of Christian when I was meant to be giving a massage. I moved into the room with Jane and got to work. ¡°Just visiting Hawaii for a quick trip over the holidays?¡± I asked her quietly. ¡°Well, sort of,¡± Jane said,ughing a little. ¡°I¡¯m on a rather extended trip, but I arrived in Hawaii the day before New Year¡¯s, and I¡¯ll be here for about a week. Then, I¡¯ll be headed off to the Philippines, and then who knows!¡± ¡°Oh, wow,¡± I said, surprised by her answer. ¡°Did you and your husband just retire?¡± ¡°My husband passed awayst year.¡± She sighed softly. ¡°This is the trip we always dreamed of taking. But we kept putting it off and putting it off. I¡¯m afraid that life got in the way. There were the kids, and there were bills to pay, and then he was working toward his pension, and then even once he retired, we were looking to sell the home, and things came up. We made excuses.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I said, not sure what else to say. ¡°So, I decided to take our trip anyway,¡± Jane continued, not waiting for me to say more. ¡°And you know what? It¡¯s almost like he¡¯s here with me. I write him letters from every ce that I go, almost like a journal. But it¡¯s written just for him. He would have loved the seafood in Boston. He would have been amazed by how t the middle of the country is; he grew up in the mountains, and he was always a bit ufortable when he could see the horizon. And he would have loved the drive along the coast in California!¡± ¡°You¡¯re going to see the whole world, then?¡± I asked, smiling a little at her enthusiasm. ¡°Oh, probably not,¡± she said, shaking her head. ¡°I¡¯m an old bag now, and I don¡¯t know how far I¡¯ll make it. But I do want to see some of Asia; I¡¯ve never made it there before in my life. And when I reach Paris, I¡¯m going to get a little apartment with a view of the Eiffel Tower and spend the rest of my life painting pictures and taking long walks through the parks. Edward always loved Paris.¡± I bit my lower lip. ¡°If you don¡¯t mind me asking, if you had to do it all again, knowing that Edward wouldn¡¯t be here with you for this trip, would you still do it?¡± I asked. ¡°Oh, yes,¡± Jane said fiercely. ¡°Our marriage had its ups and downs, all marriages do. And having to watch Edward get sicker and sicker until¡­¡± She took a deep breath, and I felt guilty for having pried. I just had to know. ¡°The good times that I had with Edward outweighed all the bad,¡± she said. Sheughed a little. ¡°And in some ways, it¡¯s a relief to do this trip myself! He was a stingy old man, and I don¡¯t know that we would have traveled that well together. I definitely wouldn¡¯t be getting a massage if he was here with me!¡± I frowned. ¡°But doesn¡¯t that bother you, knowing that?¡± I asked. ¡°Oh, dear,¡± Jane said, shaking her head. ¡°No two people are ever going to be perfectlypatible,¡± she said. ¡°This isn¡¯t the movies. There are always going to be difficulties that you have to work through andpromises that you have to make. But that¡¯s what makes it all so sweet. Edward and I may never have gotten the chance to travel the world together, but what we did get to do was raise three perfect little children and give them every opportunity in the world. What we did get to do was open a small country store in t he middle of nowhere in Vermont. What we did get to do was go on one long summer vacation to visit rtives in France and Italy. We were happy. We were just happy in different ways.¡± I hummed softly. ¡°Sounds like you loved him.¡± It was a stupid thing to say; the two had been married for a while, and¡­ ¡°I¡¯m not sure what I think about love and all that,¡± Jane said, sounding almost like Mina in that instance. ¡°But I can¡¯t imagine what my life would have been like without Edward there at my side for all those years. We shared the most important parts of life. And maybe that¡¯s all love truly is.¡± I frowned, thinking that over in the context of my rtionship with Christian. Could I imagine my life without him? Of course, I could. I¡¯d been living there in Hawaii and working at the massage parlor for a lot longer than I¡¯d known him. I knew my routine. But there was still something there, wasn¡¯t there, that seemed to be missing, now that he was gone. Maybe love was recognizing that little piece of yourself that was just waiting to open up to the other person. After the massage, I walked Jane to the door and let her out into the sunshine. ¡°You have a good day, Mrs. Talbot, and safe travels!¡± I told her. I waved as she walked down toward her car. As I turned to go back into the shop, I caught sight of Lino out the side of my eye, and I froze, wondering what he could be doing there. ¡°Hey, Gretchen,¡± he said cautiously, walking slowly toward me, as though he was afraid that I might bolt. ¡°Can we talk?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± I said coolly, remembering how angry he and Christian had looked at the New Year¡¯s Luau. I still wondered what had happened there, and I couldn¡¯t help wondering if Lino somehow had some hand in Christian¡¯s abrupt departure. But I had been truthful with Christian about the whole mess with Lino, so it wasn¡¯t as though Lino could have told him anything he hadn¡¯t already known. ¡°Come on,¡± Lino said, reaching out to catch my arm as I started back into the massage parlor. ¡°Gretchen, seriously. I¡¯m beginning to realize what a huge mistake I made. And I know you have no reason to ever forgive me, but I¡¯m hoping that maybe you could find it in yourself to give me a second chance. I just panicked. I wasn¡¯t mature enough to have a kid yet. You have to know that. And I said a lot of things, did a lot of things that I regret. I know the miscarriage was hard on you. It was hard on me too. I just didn¡¯t know how to tell you that. I-¡± ¡°Stop,¡± I interrupted, yanking my arm away from him. My heart was pounding, and there was a part of me that wanted to believe him, to fall into his arms and hope for something good toe from it. No. I knew that what I¡¯d had with Christian had been ten thousand times more than what I¡¯d ever had with Lino. Still, Christian was gone, and Lino and I had a chance of building a future together, in Hawaii. Maybe it wouldn¡¯t be so bad to give him a chance but that was ridiculous. For all, he said that he had grown up now, his behavior around Christian was not the behavior of someone who had grown up, not even a little. ¡°Lino, whatever we had between us, it¡¯s over now,¡± I said, shaking my head. Iughed sadly. ¡°You know, if you would have talked to me even two months ago, things might be different.¡± Sure enough, Lino was frowning. ¡°What, if I¡¯d just gotten to you before Christian did?¡± he asked bitterly. ¡°But Christian¡¯s gone. He got sick of you, I guess. And-¡± ¡°He had to go back to work,¡± I said coolly. ¡°I knew that was going to happen eventually. And Christian has nothing to do with anything that you and I had. Just, I¡¯ve moved on now.¡± I pulled open the door to my shop. ¡°If you¡¯ll excuse me, I have to get back to work. I have another clienting in, and I have to get everything ready.¡± Without waiting for his response, I went inside, shutting the door firmly behind me. My heart was racing as though I¡¯d just run a marathon, and I felt like I might start crying, over Lino or over Christian, I couldn¡¯t even say. I slumped down in the massage room, pressing the heels of my hands against my closed eyes. The thing was, I couldn¡¯t help thinking that maybe I should give Lino another chance. He was there, and I knew that Christian wasn¡¯ting back. If love was just about sharing a life, Lino and I could share a life just as easily as Christian and I could; couldn¡¯t we? Episode One Hundred & Eighteen Christian¡¯s [POV] Two weekster, I was still struggling to get my head back on things at work. I was doing everything that I needed to do. But it seemed to be three times as much work as it ever had been before. Usually, I got home in the evenings, downed a few sses of scotch, and passed out on the couch with my suit still on. It was starting to show in the bags beneath my eyes. ¡°So, obviously, Christian¡¯s appearance on the second edition of International Dream Homes is going to help boost our stocks, but beyond that, we¡¯ve got to think big,¡± Alex said, droning on. ¡°I like the idea of doing something that we¡¯ve never done before,¡± George said. ¡°It seems like every year, we open up with a big advertising campaign, and although that always seems to work a little bit, it still seems like we could be doing more. What if we¡­¡± I tuned him out, doodling aimlessly on the edge of my meeting brief until Paul reached over and caught my wrist, stilling it firmly. I frowned, feeling like a schoolchild who has been scolded, but I knew that he was right. I needed to give at least the appearance of paying attention. George and Alex had been growing warmer toward me since I¡¯d managed to still keep out of the news over the past couple of weeks, but that didn¡¯t mean that I was out of hot water just yet. Especially when we were talking about something as sensitive as stocks, I should be showing them how invested I was in thispany¡¯s future, rather than doodling pictures of Gretchen dancing the h. I blushed a little, realizing just what I¡¯d been doing, and scribbled over the image. Fortunately, the meeting didn¡¯tst that much longer. George finally pped his hands, seemingly satisfied with whatever it was that they¡¯d decided regarding marketing, I didn¡¯t remember, and he and Alex got to their feet. Paul reached over to catch my wrist again, signaling that he wanted to have a little talk with me. I sighed once the door shut behind the other two business owners. ¡°Sorry,¡± I said to Paul. ¡°I know I should have been paying attention. Consider me chastised. Can I go now?¡± ¡°Hey,¡± Paul said, frowning at me. ¡°You probably should have been paying a little better attention, or at least, not making it so obvious that you were nowhere near paying attention. But I¡¯m more¡­¡± He paused. ¡°I¡¯m concerned about you, Christian. Are you feeling okay? Did something happen while you were on your trip? You haven¡¯t seemed like yourself since you¡¯ve been back.¡± ¡°Thought I wasn¡¯t supposed to be acting like myself,¡± I said sullenly, even though I knew that wasn¡¯t what he meant. ¡°After all, the whole reason you all sent me away was because you didn¡¯t want to deal with me acting like myself.¡± ¡°Christian,¡± Paul said chidingly, and I sighed. ¡°I know,¡± I said quietly. I ran my finger over the edge of the scribble, still faintly able to make out the image of Gretchen that I¡¯d been doodling. ¡°There was this girl, in Hawaii.¡± ¡°Just one?¡± Paul asked, arching an eyebrow at him. He grimaced, looking chagrined, when I gave him a t look. ¡°Sorry, I shouldn¡¯t have said that,¡± he said. ¡°Tell me about this girl.¡± ¡°Her name¡¯s Gretchen,¡± I told him. ¡°She¡¯s a masseuse. And she¡¯s beautiful. And interesting.¡± Iughed a little, hoping the sound didn¡¯te off as sad to Paul as it did to my ears. ¡°I don¡¯t know thest time I dated someone interesting.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know thest time you dated someone,¡± Paul said, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. I shook my head. ¡°Yeah, I know. But it¡¯s just that she was something special.¡± ¡°But what, you didn¡¯t make ns to kidnap her back to New York with you? You weren¡¯t able to woo her away from the ind?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t even try,¡± I admitted. ¡°Her whole life is there. And she is so not the kind of woman who you find here in New York. She¡¯s warm, and she¡¯s sensual. God, you should see the way she dances. And sheughs. And-¡± ¡°Christian,¡± Paul interrupted, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully at me. ¡°Are you sure that you still want to be here in New York?¡± His words hit me like a slug to the gut. I ducked my head a little, wanting to hate how easily he had seen through me, but also secretly grateful that I hadn¡¯t had to voice the question myself. ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± I admitted. ¡°I love this job, I do. And my life is here, just the same way that her life is there. I¡¯m not the kind of guy who can just do nothing with his life. I wouldn¡¯tst a year in Hawaii. I probably wouldn¡¯t evenst six months. And then what would I do, once I¡¯d left the business and¡­you know?¡± ¡°You¡¯d find a hobby, maybe?¡± Paul suggested. ¡°I know that¡¯s a novel concept for you since all your time has always been taken up with work and women, but most people have things that they like doing.¡± He grinned at me. I sighed and shook my head. ¡°I honestly wouldn¡¯t even know where to start with finding a hobby,¡± I admitted. ¡°I know that that sounds stupid, but-¡± ¡°You¡¯d probably enjoy sports,¡± Paul said. ¡°And I¡¯m sure there are all sorts of swimming and volleyball and ser leagues in Hawaii since the weather is always so nice. Or cycling, maybe? And with all of your knowledge in interior design and homes and everything, maybe you¡¯d like-¡± ¡°Okay, okay,¡± I interrupted, holding up a hand to cut him off before he could list off every possible hobby that I might be interested in. ¡°I know, there are options out there. But all the same.¡± I ran a hand back through my hair. ¡°I¡¯d have to do work, right? And something tells me that real estate ventures in Hawaii are somewhat limited. I don¡¯t want to work in the vacation rental business, and anyway, it would be too much of amute for me to get from Hawaii to anywhere else if I worked for a bigpany like Sunrise. So-¡± ¡°You could just retire,¡± Paul suggested. I snorted. ¡°I¡¯m not old enough for that yet.¡± ¡°Think about it,¡± Paul said, shaking his head though. ¡°You have enough money saved up that you could retire now and livefortably for the rest of your life on your savings, even if you ended up having kids or whatever else. Hell, you couldfortably retire here in New York for the rest of your life, and I¡¯m sure a house in Hawaii costs the same if not less than that ridiculous penthouse suite that you¡¯ve got at the moment.¡± I frowned and then shook my head. I didn¡¯t even want to start considering it. I shook my head again. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter, anyway,¡± I told him, thumbing the design once more. ¡°I fucked things up when I was leaving. I didn¡¯t tell her I was going, I just¡­¡±Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org. ¡°Pulled a Christian Wall,¡± Paul said, shaking his head. ¡°Look, why don¡¯t you go home for the rest of the afternoon and see if maybe you can get a little sleep?¡± he suggested. ¡°Don¡¯t think I haven¡¯t realized how exhausted you aretely. Guessing that this Gretchen girl is the reason you haven¡¯t been sleeping welltely?¡± I frowned, and he held up a hand. ¡°You don¡¯t have to answer that. But seriously. Go home. Think about it.¡± I frowned when I entered my front hall and found another pair of shoes in the middle of the hall, shoes that weren¡¯t mine. I took a couple of careful steps into the apartment and nearly had a heart attack when Jeff materialized at the end of the hallway. ¡°Sorry, bro,¡± he said, grimacing as he saw my expression. ¡°Wasn¡¯t trying to scare you. The doorman let me in when I showed him my ID and said I was your brother.¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to have to talk with him,¡± I said, shaking my head. ¡°What, you aren¡¯t happy to see me?¡± Jeff asked. There was a guarded look in his eyes and something dark in his tone. ¡°It¡¯s not that,¡± I said. ¡°You just scared me, that¡¯s all.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t expect you to be home this soon,¡± Jeff said, peering at me. ¡°Are you sick or something?¡± I shrugged awkwardly and headed into the kitchen to make something for lunch and grab a beer or something. ¡°Paul sent me home for the day,¡± I admitted. ¡°Really?¡± Jeff asked, sounding surprised. ¡°I thought they would be happy to have you back. Haven¡¯t even seen you in the paperstely or anything.¡± ¡°Yeah, no, they¡¯re d to have me back,¡± I said absently, pulling out things to make a sandwich. ¡°You hungry?¡± ¡°Nah, I¡¯m good,¡± Jeff said. I could practically hear him puzzling out the things that I wasn¡¯t saying. ¡°Are you happy to be back?¡± I paused for a long moment and then shrugged carefully. ¡°This job is my life,¡± I told him. ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean you¡¯re happy,¡± Jeff pointed out sagely. ¡°I¡¯m happy,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve missed this ce, and¡­¡± I frowned. ¡°You miss Hawaii more than you¡¯ve missed this ce?¡± Jeff prodded. ¡°I miss Gretchen,¡± I admitted. ¡°It¡¯s stupid because she was just some girl, but¡­¡± ¡°Oh, don¡¯t try and tell me that,¡± Jeff said, shaking his head. ¡°She wasn¡¯t ¡®just some girl¡¯ to you. I could tell that from the first time I ran into the two of you on the beach there. And I don¡¯t even know you all that well anymore.¡± I sighed and scrubbed a hand over my face. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter anyway,¡± I told him, the same thing that I¡¯d told Paul. ¡°I fucked up. We got into a big fight on New Year¡¯s Eve, a little while before midnight, and the next morning, I just left. I didn¡¯t even tell her goodbye. I didn¡¯t even tell her that I was going to be leaving. She knew that I was going to be leaving at some point, but I didn¡¯t tell her when.¡± ¡°Yikes, man,¡± Jeff said, hopping up to sit on one of the barstools. ¡°Sounds like you¡¯ve made things difficult for yourself.¡± ¡°They¡¯re not just difficult,¡± I snapped. ¡°I¡¯ve ruined things.¡± Jeff was silent for a long moment, and then he shook his head. ¡°You probably thought the same with me, didn¡¯t you?¡± he finally said, his voice quiet and reflective. ¡°But look at us now.¡± I stared nkly at him. ¡°You¡¯re saying you think I should, what, fly back to Hawaii and just tell Gretchen I¡¯m sorry? Even if I did that, we wouldn¡¯t be able to stay together. Her life is there, and mine here.¡± ¡°Yours doesn¡¯t seem to be giving you a lot of satisfaction here in New York,¡± Jeff said, shrugging a little. ¡°I¡¯m no shrink, but I can¡¯t help but wonder if thatck of fulfillment is exactly what¡¯s been causing you to go totally off the rails for the past few years.¡± I scowled at him. ¡°Yeah, yeah. Come on. I don¡¯t want you sitting in my kitchen giving me a lecture about it.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not trying to give you a lecture,¡± Jeff said soothingly. ¡°I¡¯m just trying to tell you that you¡¯ll never know if you¡¯ve ruined things unless you ask.¡± I frowned and then took a big bite out of my sandwich, hoping he would realize that I was done with this conversation. ¡°So, what¡¯s up with you anyway?¡± I asked once I had chewed and swallowed. Fortunately, Jeff let me change the subject, telling me all about the conference he was going to be taking part in that weekend. I half-listened. I couldn¡¯t help thinking about what he¡¯d said before, about how I wouldn¡¯t know unless I asked. He was right. Episode One Hundred & Nineteen Gretchen¡¯s [POV] ¡°Ooh,¡± Mina said when I came to work on Wednesday morning.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. ¡°That¡¯s a cute dress, is that new?¡± I blushed a little and ran my hands down the purple material. ¡°Yeah,¡± I admitted. ¡°I did a little retail therapy on my day off.¡± Minaughed. ¡°Not something that I ever really thought I¡¯d hear from you, but I¡¯m d,¡± she said. ¡°Even though I¡¯m pretty bummed that I was working and couldn¡¯t join you.¡± I smiled at her. ¡°Some other time, maybe. But I¡¯m feeling better now, anyway.¡± ¡°You look better,¡± Mina said, eyeing me closely. ¡°You either got a new foundation that works well, or you¡¯ve gone back to sleeping like a normal person.¡± Iughed. ¡°Yeah, I slept wellst night,¡± I admitted. I shrugged. ¡°Slowly but surely, I¡¯m getting over him.¡± ¡°Good,¡± Mina said, nodding at me. ¡°I hate seeing you so sad.¡± ¡°Yeah. I think I might even start dating again.¡± Mina blinked. ¡°Oh, really?¡± she asked, sounding surprised. ¡°You have your eye on someone, or is that an invitation to a wild night out next weekend?¡± I shook my head. ¡°Have my eye on someone,¡± I told her. I paused. ¡°I¡¯m thinking of asking Lino out on a date this weekend.¡± If it was possible, Mina looked even more shocked. ¡°Do you think that¡¯s a good idea?¡± she asked slowly. I shrugged. ¡°He came by the shop to see me the other day,¡± I told her. ¡°He said that he¡¯s starting to realize exactly what he missed out on. He said that he¡¯s grown up a little. And he reminded me that the miscarriage was just as hard on him as it was on me. I don¡¯t know why I¡¯ve never really thought about that before, but-¡± ¡°Hmm, maybe because he didn¡¯t act like he cared one way or another about the miscarriage?¡± Mina asked sarcastically. ¡°Oh wait, no, that¡¯s not true. He was relieved that you had miscarried the baby. He never wanted that kid, and you know it.¡± I sighed. ¡°Look, Lino and I could have a great life together, I think. He loves me, and I love him. Maybe not in that perfect, Hollywood-style love, maybe not like the characters of those stupid romance novels that I always read. But all rtionships have their ups and downs, and there¡¯s no reason just to get rid of a rtionship because you had a little difficulty once. Lino and I have both moved on, and I think that he¡¯s matured, just like he said.¡± ¡°And did hee right out and say that he was sorry?¡± Mina asked, still sounding angry. She rolled her eyes at my guilty expression. ¡°Of course, he didn¡¯t,¡± she said, throwing her hands in the air. ¡°Look, I want to be happy for you, Gretchen, and I¡¯m d that you think you¡¯re already ready to move on after Christian. But this seems like a total rebound move, and I don¡¯t want Lino to end up hurting you again. I remember what it was likest time, and-¡± ¡°If I want to date Lino, that¡¯s my choice,¡± I interrupted. ¡°Of course, it is,¡± Mina said, her voice going soft. ¡°You know I would never try to tell you not to date a guy. I¡¯m just trying to remind you that despite what Lino says about how mature he¡¯s gotten, he still has yet to apologize to you for the way he handled the news that you were pregnant and the way that he handled the miscarriage.¡± ¡°We all handle grief in different ways,¡± I said. ¡°I can¡¯t me him for that.¡± Mina sighed. ¡°You have too big of a heart,¡± she said, shaking her head. ¡°Of course, you don¡¯t me him for that. I just want you to be careful, okay? Don¡¯t go getting in over your head.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t,¡± I promised, even though I knew, somewhere deep down, that whenever Lino was concerned, I was already in too deep, given our history. But still, he might be my only remaining chance to have a husband. I¡¯d just have to be careful and make sure I didn¡¯t get pregnant this time. I felt a pang inside me at that thought. I¡¯d always imagined having kids and teaching them to surf, taking them for walks along the beach, teaching them all the secrets of this beautiful ind, and having them grow up loving it as much as I did. I knew that Lino didn¡¯t want kids, and I knew that if I married him, I was never going to have kids. That wasn¡¯t even up for discussion. I didn¡¯t even know if I could bring myself to want to conceive with him after the way that he¡¯d reacted to the news of my pregnancy before. But still, a life with Lino was better than a life spent alone. And I knew that there was no way I was ever going to see Christian again. If the one guy I could ever love refused to be in my life, then I¡¯d just have to make do. My appointment that day was younger, a girl in her twenties who was just there on a weeklong trip with some of her friends. ¡°Jessica¡¯s dad booked it for us, as a Christmas gift for her,¡± she told me,ughing a little. ¡°My parents don¡¯t have that kind of money, so I feel kind of weird being here, but it wasn¡¯t like I was going to say no!¡± ¡°That¡¯s a pretty special friend,¡± I said, smiling. ¡°Hawaii¡¯s a beautiful ce, especially at this time of year when it¡¯s not too hot and humid!¡± ¡°Oh, it¡¯s so beautiful,¡± Andrea agreed. She shook her head. ¡°You¡¯re so lucky that you live here. I can¡¯t even imagine. Going to the beaches every day, gorging on fresh fruit shakes, doing yoga, and just rxing. It¡¯s so incredible here.¡± I grimaced a little, d that she couldn¡¯t see me from her face-down position on the mat. ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s pretty great,¡± I said. ¡°But it has its drawbacks too. My life isn¡¯t like what yours is like when you¡¯re on your vacation, remember? I have toe in here to work and everything. I have to pay the bills. I cook a lot of my meals rather than eating out at restaurants.¡± ¡°True,¡± Andrea said. ¡°But this is your job. You¡¯re not stuck in an office, and you¡¯re not stuck with a bunch of obnoxious coworkers. This one girl who I work with is getting married in a few weeks, and she¡¯s been so ridiculous for months now. It¡¯s her fiance this and her fiance that. It¡¯s all she talks about, and then there¡¯s the actual work.¡± I shook my head, listening to her ramble on, letting her get it out of her system. The thing was, I had always loved Hawaii, and I always would. But the thing about it was, the grass was always greener on the other side. She had a selection of thousands of guys who she could marry. I knew everyone on the ind. I¡¯d grown up with them all. Unless they were tourists, who were just there for a few weeks, if that, and then went back home again. Plus, there was this whole business thing with Mina. She¡¯d been careful not to hint at it again since she had brought up the idea of merging our businesses, but I couldn¡¯t help feeling the weight of that idea every morning when she came by to see me. I still hadn¡¯t decided on it, except that I wasn¡¯t sure about it and didn¡¯t know how to approach any of the issues with her. Finally, it was time for the massage to be over, and since it was myst massage of the day, I suppressed a sigh of relief at that. All I wanted was to go home, take a dip in the hot tub, and drink a ss of wine. Then, maybe I¡¯d give Lino a call and see what he was up to that weekend. My ns were derailed as I walked out of the massage room and saw Christian standing there, waiting for me. ¡°Oh my god, Christian Wall!¡± my client said, her voice unnaturally shrill. She immediately threw her arms around him. ¡°I thought you were back in New York already? Can we take a picture? My friends aren¡¯t going to believe this. It¡¯s you! Oh, my God. You look even more handsome in person. Do you need someone to show you around Hawaii? I haven¡¯t been here that long, but I know some great ces.¡± Christian grimaced but went through the motions, allowing the girl to take a selfie with him and chat his ear off. Finally, she seemed to notice the way he was looking at me, and she paused, ncing between the two of us. ¡°Oh,¡± she said. ¡°Oh. Sorry, I¡¯ll leave you to it.¡± She coughed lightly, gave him onest hug, and then, mercifully, left us in peace. Episode One Hundred & Twenty Christian¡¯s [POV] Gretchen didn¡¯t look happy to see me, standing there in the lobby of her shop, and I couldn¡¯t me her. And then there was all the awkwardness with her customer recognizing me. If there was ever a time that I wished I could be unrecognizable, it was then. Still, it wasn¡¯t like I could tell the girl to get lost so that I could talk to Gretchen. I tried to convey to Gretchen with my eyes just how ufortable I was. Finally, the woman left, and Gretchen and I were alone. ¡°Get out,¡± she whispered, her hands clenching into fists. ¡°Gretchen, please,¡± I said, desperate to just talk to her, to exin. I had a feeling if anyone was going to make sense of what was going on in my head right now, it was her. She had always seemed to understand me so well. So much better than I even understood myself. But she showed no signs of wanting to hear me say anything. ¡°Get out,¡± she repeated, louder this time. She pointed a finger at me. ¡°You don¡¯t get to just disappear and then show up two weekster like nothing ever happened. Maybe that¡¯s the way things work with your other fuck-buddies, but-¡± ¡°Gretchen, you were never just a fuck-buddy, and you know that. I would hope so, anyway,¡± I said pleadingly. ¡°Oh, really?¡± she asked sarcastically. ¡°I thought that¡¯s what we were. Since, you know, we never were in a rtionship or anything. As you said, I knew you were going back to New York, and you knew I was going to stay here in Hawaii. We were just fucking. That¡¯s what fuck-buddies do, isn¡¯t it? No strings attached.¡± ¡°Gretchen,¡± I sighed, running a hand back through my hair. ¡°No,¡± she said, shaking her head. She caught my arm and began pushing me out of her shop. ¡°I knew I¡¯d ruined things,¡± I muttered, hating the raw feeling that crept into my voice. Gretchenughed bitterly. ¡°What, was there any question of that?¡± she asked. ¡°You were an ass to me, Christian. You-¡± ¡°Jeff said I wouldn¡¯t know if I¡¯d ruined things unless I asked you,¡± I admitted. ¡°God, I know it was stupid of me to fly down here. I just¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m nning on going on a date with Lino this weekend,¡± she said, tossing her hair a little. ¡°So, as you can see, whatever we had, I¡¯m over it now.¡± I grimaced. ¡°Gretchen-¡± I started. Then, I shook my head. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I know that that probably doesn¡¯t mean anything, but I¡¯m sorry for the way I treated you on New Year¡¯s Eve and for the fact that I just skipped town without even telling you I was going. It was stupid. I don¡¯t expect you to forgive me, but I need to make sure you know how sorry I am. You¡¯re such an amazing woman, one of the only women who I¡¯ve ever feltpelled to be close to.¡± I took a deep breath. ¡°But I suppose that doesn¡¯t matter now. I fucked things up. I just hope that you¡¯re happy in the future, Gretchen, whoever you end up with, whether it¡¯s Lino or, or someone else. You deserve the best.¡± Gretchen stared at me for a long moment, looking as though she was warring with herself internally. ¡°You¡¯re sorry?¡± she said finally. I took that as an encouragement to continue. ¡°I haven¡¯t been fair to you,¡± I said. ¡°Like I said, you deserve the best, and I¡¯ve been¡­¡± ¡°An ass,¡± Gretchen said sinctly. ¡°Worse than that,¡± I told her, shaking my head. ¡°It¡¯s not just New Year¡¯s. We¡¯ve been dating the whole time I¡¯ve been here, but I refused to even try tomit to anything more than that. That wasn¡¯t fair to you. I knew that you were looking for a rtionship, and I knew that I was acting as though we were in a rtionship, without bothering to try to figure out any sort of long-term details. But the truth is, Gretchen, I didn¡¯t know what I was doing.¡± ¡°What, you didn¡¯t realize you were stringing me along?¡± she asked harshly. ¡°It¡¯s not that,¡± I said softly. I shrugged awkwardly. ¡°The thing is, I¡¯ve never been in a rtionship before. I knew I was getting in over my head, but I wasn¡¯t sure exactly what I was supposed to be doing or not doing. And by the time I realized we were basically in a rtionship, it was toote to go back and forget about it all. I like you, Gretchen. I¡¯m falling in love with you.¡± She frowned, chewing on her lower lip. ¡°But you¡¯re going back to New York,¡± she said finally. ¡°And I¡¯m staying here in Hawaii. You wouldn¡¯tpromise even to move to, like, California, would you? That¡¯s what rtionships are about, though:promise. And I understand that you don¡¯t know what you¡¯re doing and that-¡± ¡°Why California?¡± I interrupted, confused. She made an impatient noise. ¡°Because you could probably do your real estate stuff out of Los Angeles or San Francisco or somewhere, and I wouldn¡¯t be too upset to start up a massage studio by the beach there.¡± I blinked, shocked by that. ¡°You¡¯ve been thinking about this, haven¡¯t you?¡± I asked weakly, feeling like the biggest heel in the world. To my surprise, though, she looked a bit embarrassed. ¡°Mina mentioned that one,¡± she admitted. ¡°And it was only after you left.¡± I frowned. ¡°So, before I left, were you thinking¡­¡± ¡°No!¡± Gretchen cried. ¡°I was carefully not thinking about any of that because I knew that we were never going to end up together. As you said on New Year¡¯s Eve, we both knew that from the start. No matter how much I wanted¡­¡± She broke off, shaking her head and brushing away tears. ¡°Gretchen,¡± I said, feeling wrecked at the emotions and sexual tension between us. I took a step forward, but sheughed bitterly and took a step back. ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± she said, shaking her head. ¡°I can¡¯t just have sex with you again. And I know you¡¯re going back to New York, when, tomorrow morning? Tonight?¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t booked my flight yet,¡± I told her slowly. ¡°I called Paul from the airport and told him that I wasn¡¯t sure about my future in the business and¡­¡± I took a deep breath. ¡°If you don¡¯t want to try this, then yeah, I¡¯ll probably hop on a flight tomorrow. It¡¯s too difficult to stay here otherwise, thinking about everything that I fucked up.¡± Gretchen looked confused. ¡°You¡¯re not sure about your future in the business?¡± she said. ¡°Did something happen when you went back? Did they-¡± ¡°Everyone¡¯s been fine with my return,¡± I told her. ¡°Except for me. I¡¯m not sure that I want to be back there. I kept expecting things to get easier, to start to feel normal again. But instead, I feel like I¡¯m walking around in a fog. I¡¯m not interested in any of it anymore. And I was talking to Paul about it, I told him about you, and he pointed out that if I wanted to, I have more than enough money saved up that I could retire now and livefortably for the rest of my life.¡± Gretchen narrowed her eyes at me, as though expecting some sort of trick. ¡°That¡¯s not just another line to get me in bed with you, is it?¡± she asked. ¡°It¡¯s not like an ¡®I¡¯m leaving my wife, oh wait, no I¡¯m not!¡¯ situation, is it?¡± Iughed half-heartedly. ¡°Gretchen, if you don¡¯t know me well enough to trust me by now¡­¡± Then, I grimaced. ¡°I suppose I haven¡¯t done anything to earn that trusttely, though, have I?¡± Gretchen stared at me for a long moment. ¡°You¡¯re serious, though, aren¡¯t you?¡± she asked, her voice barely audible. ¡°Serious,¡± I said, nodding at her. ¡°I¡¯ve never been more serious about anything or anyone in my life.¡± We stood there for a long moment staring at one another. Finally, Iughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck. Something about her brought me down a few pegs from the suave, confident guy that I¡¯d always been. I supposed that was what happened when your feelings got tied up in it. I supposed that was what happened when you fell in love.N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. ¡°I guess I should give you time to think things over, huh?¡± I said when it became clear that she wasn¡¯t sure what to say in response. ¡°Sorry to spring this on you too. I probably should have called first, before just showing up here, but I didn¡¯t think you would answer. And even if you did answer, I was afraid you¡¯d hang up on me or something. I thought it would be better to do this in person. Anyway, I just kind of wanted to see you. I¡¯ve missed you, and-¡± Gretchen cut off my babbling by surging forward and kissing me. She caught me off guard, t-footed, and I stumbled backward, nearly toppling both of us. But I managed to get my feet back under myself quickly, and I pulled her close, gentling the kiss from one of frantic desperation to one that I hoped conveyed all the feelings I was having a hard time saying to her. ¡°We should talk things over more,¡± Gretchen said regretfully as she pulled away from the kiss. ¡°Responsible adults wouldn¡¯t just have sex again, without-¡± I groaned and rested my forehead against hers, barely able to keep myself from consuming her. ¡°I haven¡¯t had sex since thest time you and I did,¡± I told her. ¡°I¡¯ve barely even had the will to masturbate. I need this.¡± Gretchen¡¯s eyelids fluttered briefly shut, and she groaned. ¡°God, Christian,¡± she said. ¡°You can¡¯t just say things like that.¡± ¡°It¡¯s the truth, though,¡± I told her. ¡°Look, I know I wasn¡¯t here for that long, and I know that we don¡¯t know each other all that well, but I feel like you somehow know me better than anyone else ever has before. And I love everything that I know about you. I don¡¯t want to live another day without you in my life. And I know that we need to talk about things, to figure out if we¡¯re going to live here or in, in California or somewhere else. I know that there¡¯s going to have to bepromises, and I know that I¡¯m going to have, to work at this. But can we please save that forter?¡± ¡°You don¡¯t want to live another day without me in your life?¡± Gretchen asked, sounding awed. ¡°That is unless you¡¯d rather be with Lino,¡± I said teasingly, even though I felt a stab of jealousy even thinking about it. Gretchen blushed brilliantly and shook her head. ¡°I¡¯d rather be with you,¡± she told me quietly. ¡°I just didn¡¯t think I¡¯d ever be able to have you.¡± Then, she pped a hand over her mouth, clearly remembering our fight from New Year¡¯s Eve. ¡°Not that I have you now; that¡¯s not what I meant.¡± I kissed her softly, slipping my tongue between her lips and sliding itnguidly alongside hers. ¡°You have me,¡± I told her as I pulled away, resting my forehead against hers. ¡°You¡¯ve always had me.¡± Gretchen smiled shyly up at me. ¡°You don¡¯t have another appointment this afternoon, do you?¡± I asked. ¡°No,¡± she said breathlessly. ¡°That was thest one.¡± ¡°Good,¡± I growled, possessively taking her hand. ¡°Come on, let¡¯s get out of here.¡± Gretchen paused for a moment, just staring at me, and for a moment, I was afraid that she was reconsidering. But then, she said in a soft voice, ¡°I¡¯m d you came back, Christian.¡± I smiled at her. ¡°I¡¯m d I did, too.¡± Episode One Hundred & Twenty One Gretchen¡¯s [POV] Even though we¡¯d had sex several times already, there was something different about this time. Other than holding hands, we didn¡¯t touch until we reached the bedroom, and even there, we just stood there staring at one another for a long moment. Finally, Christian started to unbutton his shirt, clearly broadcasting his intentions. I took a deep breath and let my dress fall from my shoulders and into a shimmering puddle on the floor. Christian made a low sound, and I looked shyly up at him. ¡°I somehow managed to forget how truly breathtaking you are,¡± he said,ing forward to cup my cheek in his palm, tilting my face up toward his. He stroked his thumb over my cheekbone, and I could sense that there was something else that he wanted to say, but he was still holding himself back. For once, though, it didn¡¯t bother me, his inability to voice his emotions. It wasn¡¯t as though I didn¡¯t know what he was thinking anyway. I climbed on the bed andy back against the pillows, watching with lusty eyes as Christian stripped down to his boxers. Then, he grimaced. ¡°I should probably have taken a shower before I came over to the shop,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ve been on airnes since-¡± I interrupted him with augh. ¡°I don¡¯t care,¡± I told him. He looked almost bashful as he approached the bed, a new look for him. But I was starting to realize that this was all new to him. I hadn¡¯t been wrong when I¡¯d suspected that I was lucky enough to see a side of Christianity that no one else got to see. He nudged my knees apart and arranged himself in between them, hovering over me. For a long moment, his eyes continued to rake over my face, as though searching for any sign that I might not want this. Finally, I wriggled a little, gasping as his hard member slipped along the cleft between my legs. Sure, there were a couple ofyers of fabric between us, but it made heat pool in my stomach regardless. ¡°I¡¯m d you came back,¡± I repeated, my voice almost inaudible. Christian brushed back some of my hair and then bent to kiss my forehead. ¡°I like you,¡± he said. I blinked up at him for a moment, surprised to hear him say the words. I could see his indecision there, could see the way he was waiting for my response. ¡°I like you too,¡± I said softly. Christian nodded almost to himself and then slowly began to take me apart. It started with gentle kisses and little nips at the tender parts of my skin. He raked his fingernails lightly down my sides, making me shiver. He was rocking his hips against me, continuing the steady pressure of his erect member against the needy bundle of nerves between my legs. My teeth began to chatter, and Christian pulled away, frowning down at me. ¡°Are you cold?¡± he asked, rubbing his hands over my arms. I shook my head, feeling embarrassed. ¡°No, just really turned on,¡± I admitted. He blinked and then smiled as though I¡¯d revealed some secret of the universe to him. Then, he began to lick and suck his way down the column of my neck to my breasts. For a moment, he hovered there, as though he were again asking for permission, or maybe sending up a little prayer of some sort? Then, I realized what it was. He was teasing me again. I groaned, flinging an arm over my eyes. ¡°Christian,e on,¡± I said. ¡°We¡¯ve both admitted to needing this. Can you please just not tease me this one time?¡± He gave a smallugh and shook his head, leaning his forehead against my corbone. ¡°I wish this were just teasing,¡± he told me. ¡°I¡¯m trying not toe before I even get you properly naked. ¡°Oh,¡± I said, the sound practically punched out of me. ¡°Yeah.¡± After a moment, he took a shaky breath and let it out slowly. Then, he continued his path down my body, reaching behind me to remove my bra but barely pausing tovish any attention on them before he was sliding my panties off. He stared deep into my eyes for a long moment once he¡¯d positioned himself there. ¡°Are you sure about this?¡± he finally asked, the strain of holding himself back evident in his voice. ¡°Yes, yes,¡± I said impatiently. But I smiled at him, ttered that he had asked. I doubted he was this careful with his other women. But it was something that I didn¡¯t want to think about right now. Right now, I just wanted to concentrate on the reverent way he was looking at me, on the way he was gently squeezing my hand in his, on the way he was slowly sliding into my entrance, moving carefully and giving me time to adjust to his girth. When he was fully inside of me, he paused for a long moment. Then, he pulled slowly out and pushed back in, rocking his hips up at the end of the stroke, hitting that spot inside me that made my blood sing. I sighed, melting back against the bed, feeling something settle inside my heart. Christian bent down, kissing me again, sucking at my lower lip even as he continued to rock his hips rhythmically against mine, never faltering even though I could tell that he was just as close to climax as I was. He trailed his kisses along my jawline and then grazed his teeth across my earlobe, sending sparks shooting through my nerve endings. With each thrust of his hard length, he seemed to pierce deeper inside of me, until I was sure that I could feel him buried there in my very core, a throbbing and scorching me of strength and desire. A deeper arousal curled through my stomach, and I crept my fingers down his side, bringing them to rest against his hip, making sure that he continued to push into me, giving me everything that I had ever needed and more. I blushed a little, watching the way Christian looked down at me, desire mixed with affection there in his face. Again, he reached up to brush back some of my long hair, his fingers leaving heated trails against my skin. He caressed my side again, and then suddenly he froze, biting his lower lip and squeezing his eyes shut, taking a few ragged breaths. ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I said quietly. ¡°You cane if you need to.¡± There was something incredibly sexy about seeing hime undone like this. But he still seemed to be holding back, and I couldn¡¯t help wondering why. He shook his head. ¡°Want you toe first,¡± he said stubbornly. I blinked up at him and then smiled. ¡°Okay,¡± I said. ¡°So, make mee.¡± This time, when Christian plunged into me, it was with none of the careful finesse of before. He moved with wild abandon, rotating his hips as he thrust so that every inch of my pussy was subject to his ministrations. I could feel the drag of his head against the sensitive skin there, but what I was most focused on was the way he twisted his fingers into mine, grasping firmly at my hand. It suddenly urred to me that this whole time, no matter that we¡¯d just been fucking, we¡¯d been spelling out our feelings for each other in gestures. In our dates, in our hand-holding, in the way that he brushed back my hair, and the way that I cried out his name. There had been nothing subtle about it. No wonder Mina had been able to tell how upset I was when he¡¯d left. I gasped as he speared me once more with a deep, animalistic power to the movement. iming me as his, in a way that the bruising kisses had never really done. ¡°Christian,¡± I whimpered, squeezing my eyes shut. ¡°That¡¯s it, baby,¡± he murmured against my skin, as he buried his face in the crook of my neck. ¡°That¡¯s it. Come for me.¡± And I did, unable to hold out any longer. It felt as though I was being wrung from the inside out, as though my whole world narrowed to these points of contact between the two of us. I could feel the way his breath caressed my skin, could feel the sweat beading between the two of us, slicking our skin as it slid back and forth. I could feel the way his dick pulsed and twitched inside of me, even as the walls of my pussy pressed tightly around him, drawing out his orgasm in heady waves. I could feel the way my whole body seemed to rx back, as though he¡¯d hit a switch and reset my system. I could feel the way his heart was hammering in his chest, matching the movements that my own heart was making. Above all, I could feel our hands, twined there where they rested against the sheets, could feel the strength of his grip, as though he was telling me that he would never let me go again. I smiled and rxed, truly rxed, for the first time in weeks. But reality came crashing back all too soon, and I couldn¡¯t help ncing over at him. ¡°You¡¯re not going to stay here in Hawaii though, are you?¡± I asked sadly. As much as I wanted to believe that he would, I knew that this wasn¡¯t some cheesy romance novel or movie. This was real life and in real life- Christian groaned and pulled me close against him, heedless of how overheated we both were. ¡°Trust me,¡± he said into my hair. ¡°I want nothing more than to move here with you.¡± He paused. ¡°We¡¯ll have to see how things go. Maybe in a year or two, I¡¯ll want to revisit that idea of moving to California or somewhere. But for now, I want nothing more than to move here with you.¡±Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org. ¡°But what about Sunrise Real Estate?¡± I asked, even though I knew I should just shut up and ept what he was saying at face value. It wasn¡¯t that I didn¡¯t trust him. I¡¯d been hurt before, and I wanted to protect myself against having that happen again. ¡°I¡¯ll sell all my stocks,¡± Christian said, though, shrugging. ¡°Should be able to make a decent amount of money off that. And then I thought that maybe I¡¯d invest in a joint pineapple and massage therapy center.¡± His voice sounded sly there at the end, and I couldn¡¯t helpughing. ¡°You¡¯ve been talking to Mina, haven¡¯t you?¡± I asked. He shrugged again. ¡°I wanted to talk to her before I came over to your ce,¡± I admitted. ¡°I wanted to make sure that I wasn¡¯t being a massive dick bying back here to try to make things up to you. I thought that maybe I was just being selfish. I was afraid that you might already have gotten back together with Lino, and if you had, I wasn¡¯t going to stand in the way of that. I know that you¡¯ll always haveplicated feelings for him, and it wouldn¡¯t have been right for me to¡± ¡°I want you to stay,¡± I repeated, the wordsing out in a rush. I turned to face him, urgently needing him to understand this. ¡°Christian, I loved Lino when I was with him, or I thought I did. And if we¡¯d had a child and ended up together, I would have been happy, I think. But I never felt half of what I felt for you when I was with him. My feelings for him were¡­¡± I trailed off, blushing, and shook my head. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. But Christian, I-¡± Christian swallowed the rest of my words with a kiss, which I dly returned. Then, he pulled back, staring at me for a long moment. ¡°So, is it okay if I move to Hawaii?¡± he asked, sounding almost nervous, as though he thought that I might say no. I smiled gently at him and twisted my fingers in his once more. ¡°I¡¯d be really happy if you did.¡± Episode One Hundred & Twenty-Two Christian¡¯s [POV] In some ways, I was still getting used to waking up with Gretchen in my arms, even though we¡¯d spent most nights together over the past couple of weeks since I¡¯d moved down to Hawaii. But it was a good feeling to wake up with her head pillowed on my chest, her hair fanning out around us. That morning, she had her arm slung low across my hips, nearly touching my morning wood, and I bit my lip, fighting against the urge to touch myself. I had already made herte to work once that week; I knew that I couldn¡¯t do it again. No matter how much I might want to. I nuzzled her gently and watched as she woke up, blinking sleepily up at me. Then, she looked over at the rm clock and sighed. ¡°That time already?¡± she asked muzzily. I blinked at her. ¡°Do you have to work today?¡± She frowned and then cocked her head to the side. ¡°No, I don¡¯t,¡± she said slowly, clearly still waking up. She made a face. ¡°Why did you wake me up? I was having a nice dream.¡± I smiled a little at herining. ¡°I thought you had to work. Seeing that you don¡¯t¡­ maybe we could have a nice breakfast and then maybe go surfing,¡± I told her. She rolled her eyes. ¡°Ever since you¡¯ve retired, you¡¯ve been insufferably active,¡± she said, even though I could tell she was amused. I shrugged. ¡°I like spending time with you when I get the chance,¡± I told her. ¡°Anyway, we had azy movie day the other day when it was raining, didn¡¯t we?¡± ¡°That was nice,¡± Gretchen said, smiling at the memory. ¡°Hey, do you mind if Minaes surfing with us today? I haven¡¯t spent nearly enough time with her since you¡¯ve been back, and I¡¯m feeling kind of bad about that.¡± ¡°If you want, the two of you can have a girls¡¯ day,¡± I said, even though it pained me to even think of it. I wasn¡¯t trying to smother her or anything like that, but I was running out of things to do with myself when she was at work, and her days off were the main breaks in the monotony. I was still working on what Paul had said,ing up with some hobbies that I liked doing. Surfing was one of those, but I still wasn¡¯t confident enough to go out on my own, without Gretchen there. ¡°No, I want you there,¡± Gretchen said, trailing a hand over my chest. ¡°We can talk about the business and stuff. Plus, I just want you and Mina to get to know one another better. You¡¯re the two most important people in my life.¡± ¡°But I¡¯m the most important, aren¡¯t I?¡± I asked teasingly. ¡°Maybe,¡± Gretchen said, smirking at me. ¡°But only if you agree to make your blueberry pancakes this morning!¡± Iughed and rolled out of bed. ¡°Deal,¡± I said. ¡°You want to stay here in bed while I make them, or are you going toe down and keep mepany?¡± ¡°I might hop in the shower,¡± Gretchen said. ¡°And then I¡¯ll meet you downstairs? I feel sticky after our time together.¡± She blushed adorably at the thought of what we¡¯d gotten up to the night before, and I had tough. ¡°Still so shy,¡± I said in amusement,ing around the bed to kiss her gently. I checked the news as I got the pancakes ready to go. I nearly choked when I read through my emails. ¡°All my stock in Sunrise has been sold,¡± I informed Gretchen as she came into the kitchen. ¡°Oh, wow, really?¡± she asked, sounding surprised. ¡°Already?¡± ¡°Yeah. I left Paul in charge of it, and he says they¡¯ve found some investor who wants toe in and take over what I was doing with the PR stuff. Only his background is actually in PR rather than the real estate sector. He¡¯ll still do some of the TV shows that I was doing, like that International Dream Homes one that I was supposed to start filming in a month or two, but for the most part, instead of the real estate stuff, he¡¯ll just be focused on marketing and press liaisons.¡± ¡°Cool,¡± Gretchen said. There was something else in her eyes, though. ¡°Do you regret it?¡± she asked quietly. I frowned at her. ¡°Regret what?¡± I asked. ¡°Giving it all up? The business was doing better without me anyway. I¡¯m sure-¡± ¡°I¡¯m not asking about the business,¡± Gretchen interrupted. ¡°I know how much you must have put into that business over the years. What I¡¯m asking is, do you regret moving here?¡± I could see the way she was waiting with bated breath, and even though I knew I was probably going to burn one of the pancakes having this conversation right now, I moved across the kitchen toward her, catching her hands in mine. ¡°No,¡± I said firmly. ¡°I do not regret moving here. I feel so lucky to be here and to be here with you. You have no idea how happy you make me; how happy Hawaii makes me.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t lie,¡± Gretchen said, looking down at the floor. ¡°I know that I make you happy and whatever. But I can tell that you¡¯re chomping at the bit. You don¡¯t know what to do with yourself now that you have all this free time. And-¡± ¡°Gretchen,¡± I interrupted. She finally looked up at me. ¡°Gretchen, I wouldn¡¯t be here if I didn¡¯t want to be here,¡± I told her. Iughed a little. ¡°Honestly, this is probably good for me. As Paul said, my main problem is that for the past decade or so, my whole life has been working and going around with random women. I haven¡¯t had any hobbies or anything else. Yeah, it¡¯s taking me a bit to settle into this, but at the same time, I¡¯m happy to be here with you. Don¡¯t even doubt that.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Gretchen said. She paused. ¡°Soon you¡¯ll have the business stuff to keep you upied.¡± ¡°Right,¡± I said, smiling a little. She and Mina were keen to bring me on as a ¡°consultant¡± for their new joint business. Since neither of them knew what they were in for regarding taxes or other business details, I was working with both of them to make sure that they had all the permits they needed and hashed out a contract that was fair to both of them. It was exciting, honestly. It reminded me of a few years ago when Paul and Alex and George and I had sat down to form Sunrise Real Estate. At the time, we never could have imagined where it would end up, as, I was sure, Gretchen and Mina were feeling at the moment. It was good to be a part of a team like that again. And I¡¯d do anything to help Gretchen out if I could. Gretchen¡¯s phone buzzed, and she smiled when she looked down at it. ¡°That¡¯s Mina,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯ll tell her to meet us down at the beach in about an hour?¡± ¡°Sounds great,¡± I said, smiling at her. I hummed a little as I went back to making pancakes. It was the perfect day for surfing, a little overcast, so we weren¡¯t stuck directly in the sun, but still warm even though it was January. I paddled out into the spray with the two women, keeping my eyes peeled for waves that would be within my ability level. We managed to hit a few waves each before lunchtime, and then we let the waves push us back to shore so that we could enjoy the pic lunch that Mina had packed for us all. ¡°It¡¯s going to be fun, going into business together,¡± Mina said, still smiling out at the waves. Gretchenughed. ¡°I¡¯m just d that we have an actual business consultant now!¡± she said. ¡°You know, that was my main worry about this whole thing. You¡¯re not supposed to hash out contracts with your best friend.¡± I snorted. ¡°It worked well enough for me,¡± I said. ¡°At least until the point that they exiled you to Hawaii!¡± Mina teased. I nced over at Gretchen, smiling at her. ¡°No, that¡¯s worked out pretty well for me, too,¡± I said. Both girls giggled a little at that one, and I slung an arm around Gretchen¡¯s shoulders, pulling her into a sideways hug for a moment.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. ¡°But seriously,¡± I said. ¡°There may be certain friends who you don¡¯t want to go into business with, but for the most part, I think that¡¯s bullshit. No one respects you the way that your good friends do. And while that can, in itself, be detrimental to a business, it¡¯s about taking everything in moderation, right?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± they agreed. ¡°So, why pineapples anyway?¡± I asked Mina suddenly. It wasn¡¯t something that I¡¯d ever asked her before, I realized. And although of course there were pineapples galore on the ind, it still seemed sort of strange to me that she¡¯d set up a shop devoted to them. Minaughed. ¡°When I was a kid, my mom used to put my hair up into this high ponytail,¡± she said. ¡°Only my hair wasn¡¯t long enough for it, so it just kind of spiked up everywhere. I grew up getting called Pineapple Girl. It seemed only fitting that I take that nickname with me into business.¡± I stared at her. ¡°Really?¡± I asked. Mina shrugged. ¡°It wasn¡¯t like I knew what else I wanted to do. And originally, I sold all sorts of different fruits and some vegetables, but pineapples don¡¯t go bad as quickly, and they seemed to be the most popr things in the shop anyway. I started focusing more and more on them, and here we are today!¡± ¡°You¡¯ve tried her pineapple shakes, though,¡± Gretchen said, smiling fondly at her friend. ¡°They¡¯re amazing, aren¡¯t they?¡± ¡°They are,¡± I agreed. ¡°And I can see how refreshing they are after a long massage.¡± ¡°They¡¯ll be especially refreshing when enjoyed in a hammock out on the porch of our new ce!¡± Mina said, grinning happily. ¡°I can¡¯t believe we¡¯re putting in a dozen hammocks.¡± ¡°It was a great suggestion,¡± Gretchen said. ¡°Especially given the proximity to the beach,¡± I agreed. ¡°We¡¯re going to have to watch and make sure that they¡¯re paying customers using them, but otherwise, I think it¡¯s going to be awesome.¡± ¡°Definitely.¡± We were all silent for a while, considering the waves, munching our sandwiches, and thinking our separate thoughts. ¡°You know, if the press were to happen to get news that you were hanging out around our shop¡­¡± Mina said suddenly, trailing off at the end. Iughed a little. ¡°Is that your marketing strategy?¡± I asked her. ¡°Send an anonymous tip into the press and shamelessly whore me out for business?¡± She shrugged, unrepentant. ¡°It couldn¡¯t hurt, right? They¡¯ll get bored of your lifestyle soon enough anyway, especially once word gets out that you and Gretchen are living together. You¡¯re no longer the most eligible bachelor in the country. They¡¯ll move on to the next hot thing, sorry to say.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sorry,¡± I said, reaching over to squeeze Gretchen¡¯s hand. ¡°It was nice while itsted, but I like this better.¡± Gretchen didn¡¯t respond except to lean over and kiss me gratefully. ¡°You two are so sappy,¡± Mina said, rolling her eyes, but I could tell that she was secretly pleased with our rtionship. I still had a long way to go in winning over the rest of the ind, especially those of them who had witnessed the scene at New Year¡¯s, but it was only a matter of time. Episode One Hundred & Twenty-Three Gretchen¡¯s [POV] Mina was in a good mood when I got to work on Monday morning. ¡°Just finished choosing paint chips with the decorator,¡± she told me. ¡°I¡¯m so excited. Can you believe we only have a few weeks left until we move into the new ce together?¡± I smiled at her, d that she was this excited about the decor at the new ce. Neither Christian nor I cared all that much about it, although I knew that I wanted it to be soothing for my clients. But Mina had been overjoyed to take over that side of things, so we¡¯d left her to it. ¡°And just what color are the walls going to be?¡± I asked her. She¡¯d been maddeningly secretive about the whole thing. Sure enough: ¡°You¡¯ll just have to wait and see,¡± she said in a singsong tone of voice. I rolled my eyes a little, but I knew there was no way I was getting it out of her. I would just have to wait and see when it was all finished. I only hoped it wasn¡¯t something like princess pink or anything like that, but I trusted Mina¡¯s sense of style, or else I would never have agreed to this. ¡°Saturday was a lot of fun,¡± Mina said, changing the topic. ¡°I¡¯m starting to like Christian, and I like who you are around him.¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°I¡¯d like to think that I¡¯m the same person around him as I am with you or anyone else,¡± I said. ¡°Oh, you are,¡± Mina said, frowning a little. ¡°But you¡¯re cutesy with him. And more rxed than I¡¯ve ever seen you. You smile so easily, and I can tell that you¡¯re truly happy. It¡¯s good to see.¡± I smiled at her. ¡°Yeah,¡± I admitted. ¡°He does make me happy. In ways that I would never have expected, honestly. ¡°That¡¯s good,¡± Mina said. She paused, and I could tell that there was something more that she wanted to say. ¡°I¡¯m sorry that I kept going on and on about love not existing,¡± she said after a moment to collect her thoughts. ¡°I think I was wrong about that all. I can tell that with you and Christian that it¡¯s more than just attraction there.¡± ¡°Whoa, whoa, whoa, who said anything about love?¡± I asked, holding my hands up. Mina gave me an unimpressed look. ¡°Oh, get over it,¡± she said, rolling her eyes a little. ¡°You know that you love him. And you know that he loves you too, or else he wouldn¡¯t be here in Hawaii with you.¡± I blushed a little and ducked my head. ¡°You¡¯re probably right,¡± I admitted. ¡°I¡¯m right,¡± Mina said. ¡°Anyway, I¡¯m d that he came back for you. And I¡¯m d that you got The One you always wanted. I can tell that he treats you well, way better than Lino ever did!¡± I shook my head. ¡°It¡¯s not about being treated better,¡± I said slowly, chewing at my lower lip. ¡°It¡¯s just¡­¡± I shook my head again. ¡°I don¡¯t know how to exin it.¡± ¡°I can see it in the way the two of you interact,¡± Mina insisted. She smiled and then leaned in for a hug. ¡°Anyway, congrattions on continuing to have hope and on eventually finding your Prince Charming.¡± ¡°Now we just have to find your Prince Charming,¡± I said, grinning at her. Minaughed. ¡°Maybe Christian has a hot billionaire friend who you can hook me up with?¡± ¡°Never hurts to ask!¡± I said. ¡°Anyway, I¡¯ve got an appointment in a couple of minutes that I need to get ready for.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± Mina sighed, slipping off the stool that she¡¯d been perched on. ¡°I should get back to the pineapples. I can¡¯t wait until we¡¯re working in the same building and I don¡¯t have to disappear every time you have a client.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I said. ¡°Not long now, though!¡± I gave her onest hug before she went on her way. Even though I only had Mrs. Miller on the schedule for that morning, Mr. Miller apanied his wife in, and I wondered in a panic if I¡¯d gotten something wrong and if Sandy might be working that morning so that I could steal Mina back for the second massage. ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± Jerry said, urately reading my worried expression. ¡°The message is just for the Missus here. But I was hoping that you¡¯d let me be in the same room as her while she gets her massage. I don¡¯t like to be too far from her if I can help it.¡± I smiled at the two of them. ¡°That¡¯s sweet,¡± I said. ¡°Usually I have couples on their honeymoon who say things like that, but the hotel told me you¡¯re here on your fiftieth anniversary!¡± Betty blushed demurely, and Jerry cackled. ¡°If you marry the love of your life, every day of your life is part of your honeymoon,¡± he said firmly. I raised an eyebrow at him. Betty scoffed. ¡°You only say that because I never made you change the babies¡¯ diapers,¡± she said. ¡°And I always made you breakfast in the mornings.¡± Jerry shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m a simple man, and my wife takes good care of me,¡± he said. I smiled. ¡°It¡¯s no problem if you want to sit in the room with us,¡± I said. I held out a massage outfit to Betty and directed them back to the room. When I entered the room a few minutester, Jerry had arranged himself near his wife and was holding her hand, lightly stroking the back of it with his thumb. ¡°You know, I almost didn¡¯t end up with this lovelydy here,¡± he told me pensively as I started the massage. ¡°No, you didn¡¯t,¡± Betty agreed. Sheughed. ¡°I almost ended up with Mick Forrester!¡± ¡°You would never have ended up with Mick Forrester,¡± Jerry grumbled. He shook his head and turned to look at me. ¡°I turned my back for one moment, and the next thing I knew, this little doll was practically engaged to the town flirt!¡± ¡°I was the town flirt,¡± Betty corrected. ¡°And you did not turn your back for one moment. You told me that you were going away to university and that you wanted to date some hot co-ed there! I wasn¡¯t just going to wait around forever for you.¡± Jerry sighed. ¡°The stupidest thing I ever said to a girl,¡± he told me. Then, he grinned wickedly at me. ¡°Quite a lovelydy, was Katrina Laviolette, though.¡± ¡°She was not,¡± Betty grumbled. But their slight bickering was affectionate in the way that only two people who truly loved one another, and for five decades, at that, could manage. ¡°You had better legs, though,¡± Jerry said thoughtfully. ¡°Lord knows, I loved your legs. Watching you dance was a real treat.¡± Bettyughed. ¡°I haven¡¯t danced in years, Jerry. I¡¯m too old for that.¡± ¡°You¡¯d better be a salsa-dancing senorita in the next life, or I swear I¡¯m not taking you home again,¡± Jerry warned teasingly. ¡°I¡¯ll put in a word in with the Big One when I see him,¡± Betty told him. I shook my head. ¡°How did you get her back, then?¡± I asked Jerry, missing that part of the story. ¡°After you found out she was¡­¡± ¡°Going steady with Mick Forrester,¡± Betty said primly. ¡°He thought he could juste around and ask me on a date. I told him no.¡± ¡°So, I went to her father instead and told him I was going to marry his daughter and told him all about my university degree and how I was going to one day be a famous engineer,¡± Jerry finished. I raised my eyebrows at him. ¡°And that worked?¡± I asked. ¡°Of course not,¡± Betty said exasperatedly. ¡°He was going to have to win me over, not my father.¡± ¡°So, one day, when she was out swimming in theke with a few of her girlfriends, I stole all her clothes. I told her that I wouldn¡¯t give them back unless she kissed me and swore she¡¯d never go near Mick Forrester again for the rest of her life,¡± Jerry said, shrugging, a wicked gleam in his eye. I blinked at him. ¡°And that worked?¡± ¡°Of course it did,¡± Betty said, giggling like a schoolgirl, as though the event in question had just happened yesterday, rather than fifty-some years ago. ¡°I always appreciated a man who was bold.¡± ¡°Anyway, I relented on the thing about never going near Mick Forrester,¡± Jerry said. ¡°He was the best man at our wedding, and he and his eventual wife Mindy were our best tennis partners for years and years. He and I still hang out together at our country club and shoot the shit.¡± Iughed. ¡°It was a happy ending all around, it sounds like.¡± ¡°Life is always a happy ending if you¡¯re willing to let things happen the way that they¡¯re supposed to,¡± Betty said, a strange note in her voice. ¡°When Jerry broke up with me, I thought I¡¯d die. And when I met Mick, I knew that I didn¡¯t love him, but I managed to convince myself things were going to be fine anyway. But when you love somebody¡­¡± ¡°You just know it,¡± Jerry said, his voice gone a little husky. He dashed a tear out of one eye, looking adoringly down at his wife and squeezing her hand. ¡°If I had lost this littledy here? That would have been the worst mistake of my life.¡± I thought about my rtionship with Lino and then my rtionship with Christian. I could see elements of their rtionship in both of those rtionships that I¡¯d had, but when it came down to it if I had to lose one or the other, I didn¡¯t want to lose Christian. ¡°What about you, sweetheart?¡± Jerry asked me, as though sensing the introspective turn of my thoughts. ¡°I thought I had lost my man,¡± I said, tripping a little over calling Christian mine. We hadn¡¯t defined exactly what we were doing still. It was enough that he was there in Hawaii and living with me. The wholemunal living thing was more for practicality¡¯s sake than anything else. There was no reason he should be paying to stay at a resort when I had a perfectly good guest bedroom that he could take over. We ended up sharing a bed most nights anyway. ¡°What did that rascal do?¡± Betty asked.N?velDrama.Org owns this. I sighed. ¡°He had a job back in New York, and he was supposed to go back to it,¡± I told her. ¡°I knew that from the start, but for some reason, I didn¡¯t think about it all. By the time we had to think about it, it was time for him to go, and we got into a fight.¡± ¡°But you didn¡¯t lose him?¡± Jerry asked. ¡°No,¡± I said, smiling a little. ¡°He came back. He quit his job in New York, and he¡¯s moved down to Hawaii to be with me.¡± ¡°Now that¡¯s a good story,¡± Betty said. ¡°I don¡¯t know too many guys who could figure out their feelings well enough to move across the country to be with a woman. At least in my time, we women were stuck following our men around, wherever they wanted to be.¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t follow me anywhere, you cow,¡± Jerry said, rolling his eyes. ¡°I had to follow you to Missouri when your mother got sick; don¡¯t you remember that?¡± Bettyughed. ¡°That was my mother,¡± she said. ¡°I had to go help out. You know that.¡± ¡°And I had to live in Missouri,¡± Jerry said with a bit of a shudder. He turned to face me. ¡°Don¡¯t ever let him convince you to leave Hawaii, dear. Next thing you know, you¡¯ll be living on a cow farm in the middle of nowhere.¡± ¡°Oh, pish,¡± Betty said. ¡°It was six months, not an eternity. And you liked those cows, don¡¯t try to tell me that you didn¡¯t!¡± As enjoyable as their bantering was, the appointment was over soon. I walked the two of them out, thanking them foring in. I paused at the doorway, seeing Christian standing there with flowers. Betty paused as well, eyeing Christian shrewdly. Then, she shook her head, looking back at me over her shoulder. ¡°If you¡¯ve gone and convinced this handsome young man to quit his job and move across the country for you, I¡¯m convinced that you¡¯re a witch,¡± she told me. ¡°Whatever spell you¡¯ve got him under, you could make a fortune selling charms to do half of what you did.¡± Christian stared at her for a moment in shock and then burst outughing. ¡°That¡¯s exactly what it is,¡± he told Betty, nodding. ¡°She¡¯s got me spelled.¡± He grinned at me, holding out some daffodils toward me. ¡°I was just wondering if I could take you out to lunch.¡± ¡°You hear that, Jerry?¡± Betty said to her husband as the two of them walked off. ¡°Why don¡¯t you ever take me out to lunch?¡± ¡°Because I love your cooking too much when we¡¯re back home,¡± Jerry said sweetly. ¡°But today, I got a rmendation for a seafood ce downtown.¡± ¡°Seems like that was a fun appointment,¡± Christianmented as they walked out of earshot. I smiled at them and then transferred my gaze to him. ¡°It was,¡± I said. I bent down to sniff the flowers, smiling even more. ¡°What are you up to?¡± I asked him. ¡°Flowers and lunch? Did you break something? Do I have to fill out more paperwork for the business?¡± Christianughed and shook his head. ¡°No,¡± he said. He shrugged. ¡°I just wanted to see you, that¡¯s all.¡± I shook my head, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. Thinking back over everything that Betty and Jerry had said, I wondered if someday we could be like that. I realized that what Mina had said earlier that morning was true. I was in love with him. I only hoped that he loved me back. Episode One Hundred & Twenty-Four Christian¡¯s [POV] I rolled over toward Gretchen and pillowed my head on my forearms, yfully blowing her hair into her face. She wrinkled her nose, still asleep, and batted it again. Only to have me repeat the movement as soon as she¡¯d settled again. Finally, she blinked her eyes open, giving me an unimpressed look. ¡°Good morning,¡± she said grumpily. ¡°Hey, put a smile on your face!¡± I said. ¡°Today¡¯s the big day!¡± Gretchen slowly smiled and shook her head. ¡°Honestly, I think you¡¯re more excited than I am about this,¡± she said. ¡°Which, it¡¯s my business.¡± ¡°And Mina¡¯s more excited than the both of usbined,¡± I said, grinning even more broadly. ¡°Yeah,¡± Gretchen said, shaking her head. She stretched widely. ¡°So, what, it¡¯s time to get going already? I thought the ceremony wasn¡¯t going to be happening until the afternoon.¡± ¡°That¡¯s true,¡± I said. ¡°But we have to go to the airport before the big event.¡± ¡°Oh?¡± Gretchen asked, frowning. ¡°And why is that?¡± I could sense some mistrust behind her tone, and I hurriedly soothed it. ¡°I¡¯m not going anywhere,¡± I told her, stroking her arm. ¡°Jeff¡¯s flying in for the big day, though.¡± ¡°Oh, wow?¡± Gretchen asked, looking surprised. ¡°Yeah,¡± I said. ¡°I told him about my new role as a business consultant, and he was excited. And winter¡¯s been a bit cruel to Boston this year, so I¡¯m sure he¡¯s just looking for any excuse to get out of there and escape to somece warm!¡± Gretchenughed. ¡°Yeah, I can only imagine what that must be like. What time does his flighte in?¡± ¡°In about an hour and a half,¡± I said slyly. ¡°I thought that before we got out of bed, maybe we could¡­¡± I didn¡¯t have to say more. Gretchen quickly rolled so that she was straddling my hips, grinning mischievously down at me. A little whileter, we pulled up outside the arrivals terminal at the airport and waited for Jeff toe out to the car. He appeared quickly and dumped his luggage on the curb as he reached to hug both of us. ¡°Great to see you, bro,¡± he said. ¡°And great to see you too, Gretchen. I¡¯ve heard a lot about you.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. Gretchenughed and shook her head. ¡°I¡¯ve heard a lot about you too!¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m d that you¡¯re here to help us celebrate the opening of the new business.¡± ¡°Me too,¡± Jeff said. ¡°And I¡¯m happy to be somece where I don¡¯t have to worry about my fingers freezing off!¡± ¡°I told you he was just looking for an excuse to get out of Boston,¡± Iined, winking at Gretchen. She giggled. ¡°Hey, isn¡¯t that just what you were doing when you first came here?¡± she asked. ¡°For all I know, you¡¯re still just here because you can¡¯t handle New York¡¯s winters!¡± Iughed and shook my head, loading Jeff¡¯s luggage into my new but nondescript silver car. ¡°So, tell me what I can look forward to today,¡± Jeff said to Gretchen as we drove, leaning forward from the back seat. Gretchenughed. ¡°It¡¯s a good excuse to have a party,¡± she said. ¡°And our new shop is down on the beach, so as it gets into the evening, we¡¯ll probably get a couple of bonfires started and have a sort of miniature luau. Good food, good alcohol, good people, what more could you need?¡± ¡°There will, of course, be plenty of pineapple on offer,¡± I said, rolling my eyes a little but grinning nheless. ¡°You don¡¯t know how many pina cda recipes I¡¯ve had to try over the past couple of weeks. Mina was so intent on making them perfect.¡± ¡°Oh, woe is you,¡± Jeff said sarcastically. ¡°You just had to spend your days sitting on a beach and sipping pina cdas?¡± I snorted. ¡°I know, right? How did I get this lucky?¡± ¡°You worked hard,¡± Jeff said quietly. ¡°Luck had nothing to do with it.¡± I nced over at Gretchen and then reached over to squeeze her hand. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t say luck had nothing to do with it,¡± I said, pleased to hear her giggle in response to that. The beach was already pretty crowded by the time we arrived, and Mina was buzzing all over the ce trying to make sure that everyone was happy. ¡°There you are!¡± she eximed when she saw us. ¡°I was beginning to think I was going to have to run this whole thing by myself!¡± ¡°Which you would have done an excellent job of,¡± Gretchen soothed. ¡°Sorry,¡± I said, grimacing a little because I knew that it was my fault that we werete. ¡°We had to pick up my brother-this is Jeff-from the airport on the way, and the traffic was really bad getting back here; there was an ident. It looks like you¡¯ve been doing a great job, though.¡± ¡°Can we get the speeches and the formal part out of the way first?¡± Mina asked. ¡°Sure thing,¡± Gretchen said. She grabbed her friend¡¯s hand and led her up onto the front porch, which today would double as a stage. Then, she looked back at me, frowning when she saw I was still standing there next to Jeff. She beckoned me up toward the stage, and after a sharp nudge from my brother, I slowly made my way up to join them. ¡°This is your day,¡± I said in an undertone to Gretchen. ¡°I never would have made it here without your help,¡± Gretchen shot back. ¡°It¡¯s our day.¡± The way she smiled up at me left me unable to argue. ¡°Hi everybody,¡± she said into the microphone, giving a little wave. ¡°Neighbors and friends and whoever else our neighbors and friends have dragged along.¡± There was a shortugh at that. ¡°A lot of you out there know Mina and me, and most of you are getting to know Christian as well. Now, Mina and I have been operating our businesses next to one another for years. Lately, we¡¯ve been sessful at intermingling our client pool, so that people whoe to me for a massage then go to her for a shake and people whoe to her for pineapple thene to me for a massage. Our aim in all of this has been to give everyone the most rxing experience that they can have on this beautiful ind.¡± ¡°But there¡¯s so much more to our partnership than that,¡± Mina said. ¡°I¡¯m lucky enough to be standing up here with my best friend, and about to go into business with her. We believe that a great shop experience begins the moment you encounter the smiling face of your shopkeeper, and we both know that with the two of us working together, we¡¯re always going to be smiling.¡± They continued talking along this vein for a little while, and I, along with most of the audience, I was sure, couldn¡¯t help smiling along with them at their sheer enthusiasm at the fact that they were going to be coworkers. Finally, they wrapped it up, and together they cut the brightly-colored ribbon that had been strung across the back doors to the new ce. The crowd erupted in cheers, and then it was time for the party to start. ¡°Just like a luau, huh?¡± Gretchen asked a little whileter, smiling next to me as we watched people begin grilling up tasty bites for dinner. ¡°Pretty much,¡± I said, grinning at her. ¡°Looks like Mina¡¯s having a good day too, doesn¡¯t it?¡± Gretchen looked over where I was pointed and gaped at her friend. I¡¯d been watching them over the past few hours, and Mina was unmistakably flirting, tossing back her hair every once in a while, and focusing all of her bodynguage toward- ¡°Is that your brother?¡± Gretchen asked in surprise. ¡°Yup,¡± I said, grinning over at her. ¡°He¡¯s not a billionaire like some of us, but he¡¯s a pretty good guy.¡± Gretchen snorted and lightly hit my arm. But I could tell that she was pleased to see Mina looking happy. ¡°Do you think that she¡¯s ever going to convince him to leave Boston and move down here?¡± she mused. ¡°Stranger things have happened,¡± I said, shrugging. ¡°That they have,¡± Gretchen said. She bit her lower lip. ¡°So, I know that you¡¯re part of the business now, as a consultant if nothing more, but¡­¡± ¡°Are you asking me again whether I regret moving down here?¡± I asked, turning to face her. ¡°Because I don¡¯t. And you don¡¯t need to ask me that every month, you know!¡± Gretchen sighed. ¡°I love seeing you here with all my friends and everyone else. You look like you¡¯re having fun, but I don¡¯t want you to feel like I¡¯m holding you back. I know managing a little massage parlor-sh-pineapple shop probably wasn¡¯t exactly what you had in mind for your life.¡± ¡°Gretchen,¡± I sighed, wondering how to make her see the truth. There was only one thing that I could say. ¡°You know that I love you, don¡¯t you?¡± Gretchen stared up at me in surprise. ¡°You do?¡± ¡°Yeah, baby. I love you,¡± I told her firmly. ¡°More than you could even know.¡± She stared at me for another moment and then smiled broadly. ¡°I love you too,¡± she said quietly, almost shyly, as though there were nothing left for either of us to be shy about. She bit her lower lip and thenughed a little. ¡°So, we aren¡¯t just fucking anymore?¡± I snorted and shoved her, almost seeding in toppling her onto the sand. ¡°I¡¯ll show you a good fucking when we get back home if you¡¯re going to have a mouth like that,¡± I told her. ¡°You¡¯d better,¡± she said, a challenge in her eyes. Then, her expression softened a little and she gave me an uncertain look. ¡°You aren¡¯t sorry that you came here?¡± she asked, clearly needing to hear it one more time. ¡°I¡¯m honestly not at all sorry about it,¡± I told her, punctuating the words with a filthy kiss, which she eagerly returned. ¡°Okay,¡± she said breathlessly as we broke apart. ¡°Okay, I¡¯m d to hear that.¡± Episode One Hundred & Twenty-Five Epilogue Christian¡¯s [POV] I groaned as Gretchen lightly shook my shoulder. I¡¯d been upte the night before. I¡¯d gotten caught up working on the boat out in the garage, and the next thing I¡¯d known, it had been three in the morning, and I still hadn¡¯t gone to bed. Gretchen had to know that I¡¯d gone to bedte, too, since she¡¯d stayed up waiting for me, she¡¯d eventually fallen asleep with a book in her hands. I¡¯de back to the room and found her like that, and I hadn¡¯t been able to hide a fond smile as I watched her. It seemed like every new day, every new caring gesture that she made, I loved her more, as though that were somehow possible. But she was so wonderful. ¡°Give me five more minutes,¡± I mumbled, turning my face into the pillow. ¡°But then your breakfast is going to get cold,¡± Gretchen said, and when I cracked an eye open, I saw that she had brought me breakfast in bed. But of course, she had because it was Sunday morning, and she always brought me breakfast in bed on Sunday mornings, just like I always cooked dinner for her on her days off. I always insisted that she didn¡¯t have to do that, but she liked doing it, and it wasn¡¯t like I wasining about it. I pushed myself up into a sitting position, surprised to see howte it already was. ¡°One o¡¯clock already?¡± I asked, baffled to see that. ¡°Yeah, you were asleep,¡± Gretchen said, smiling fondly at me. ¡°I didn¡¯t have the heart to wake you up any sooner.¡± ¡°I slept well,¡± I admitted, stretching broadly. ¡°And how¡¯s the boating along?¡± she asked. ¡°Well, actually,¡± I told her. ¡°I think I¡¯ll have it ready to sail by the time summer starts.¡± ¡°Awesome,¡± she said. She slipped into bed next to me and pulled her tray over herp as she cuddled up next to me. ¡°You know, I am still worried that you¡¯re just going to sail away and disappear one of these days,¡± she teased. ¡°You know I wouldn¡¯t do that,¡± I said easily. ¡°Hmm,¡± was all Gretchen said, even though I knew she couldn¡¯t possibly think that anymore. She had finally stopped asking me if I regretted moving to Hawaii, and things had been going great between us over the past couple of years. ¡°You¡¯reing to the luau tonight, right?¡± I asked her, trying to sound nonchnt. ¡°What luau?¡± she asked, frowning at me. I shrugged. ¡°Mark told me about it,¡± I said. ¡°You didn¡¯t hear about it from Mina?¡± ¡°No,¡± Gretchen said frowning. ¡°I¡¯ve been pretty busy with worktely, what with all the new clients that we¡¯ve been taking on. I think I need to find another masseuse to take some of the work because Mina and I are pretty much booked solid!¡± ¡°I know,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve missed seeing youtely.¡± ¡°You see me every evening,¡± Gretchen said, rolling her eyes a little, but she was smiling. ¡°And every day off as well, with the rare exception of the days that Mina and I both take off.¡± ¡°I know,¡± I said. ¡°But it¡¯s not enough.¡± Gretchenughed. ¡°What about this luau tonight? What are we even celebrating, anyway?¡± ¡°Do you need a reason to celebrate to have a luau?¡± I asked, raising an eyebrow at her. ¡°Well, I guess not,¡± Gretchen said, giggling a little. I shrugged again. ¡°I don¡¯t know what it¡¯s about, I just know Mark told me about it, and he has his finger on the pulse here, so I¡¯m sure there is one. You¡¯ll go with me, right?¡± ¡°Maybe you and Mark should just have a guy¡¯s night,¡± Gretchen suggested. ¡°I have appointments tomorrow, nothing too early in the day because Mina said she¡¯d take those, but even still.¡± She shook her head. ¡°Honestly, I¡¯ve been working a little too muchtely, I think. I¡¯m just tired. As fun as a luau sound, I don¡¯t think I can make it.¡± I sighed and lightly stroked the back of her neck. ¡°I understand that,¡± I said. ¡°I know just how hard you¡¯ve been working, and your clients do as well. But don¡¯t you think we could have just one night of fun? I¡¯m not saying that we have to stay out untilte or anything like that, but maybe we could just go for an hour or two and then head home? I¡¯m sure there are a lot of people there who¡¯d like to see you and ask how the business is going, and you don¡¯t want to leave all the talking to Mina, do you?¡± ¡°No,¡± Gretchen admitted, grimacing a little. She sighed. ¡°Fine, I¡¯ll go,¡± she finally agreed. ¡°But just for an hour or two. And then I want toe straight back here and curl up on the couch with you to watch some shitty TV.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a deal,¡± I said, reaching out a hand so that we could shake on it. I grinned slyly at her. ¡°Would you wear that pretty green dress that I love on you?¡± I asked. Gretchenughed. ¡°Sure,¡± she said, blushing a little.This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org. That night, when we got to the beach, Gretchen looked around in confusion, even more confusion than she¡¯d sported when I insisted on ¡°dressing up¡± a little, in khaki shorts and a green button-down shirt that matched her dress. Of course, it was nothing like the dressing up that I used to do in New York, but she¡¯d grown pretty ustomed to seeing me in t-shirts by this point. I had to hide a grin. ¡°No one¡¯s here yet,¡± Gretchen said slowly, looking around. ¡°Are you sure that Mark said there was going to be a luau?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, shrugging a little. ¡°Maybe everyone¡¯s getting ate start since it¡¯s a work day. Bute on, let¡¯s take a little walk down the beach. If wee back and no one¡¯s here, then we¡¯ll head home and have that TV date that I promised you.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Gretchen said. We ambled hand-in-hand down the beach, just on the line where the ocean met the shore. ¡°It¡¯s still so beautiful out here,¡± I sighed as we walked along. ¡°You know, I am so lucky to have met you and to have you in my life.¡± Gretchenughed a little. ¡°I¡¯m lucky too,¡± she said. ¡°I never thought I was going to end up loving someone like you.¡± ¡°You are the sexiest, most beautiful, most talented woman that I know,¡± I continued. ¡°When you want something, you get it. You constantly keep me on my toes. You have from the first day that I met you. That¡¯s what makes dating you so much fun. You¡¯ve got a real spark to you. And I love that.¡± Gretchen giggled. ¡°What, are you trying to make me blush?¡± she asked. ¡°You¡¯re adorable when you blush,¡± I told her. ¡°Honestly. I don¡¯t know what it is about it, but I love that you still get so shy around me sometimes, as though we haven¡¯t been intimately living together for the past couple of years. And I love hearing you giggle. It¡¯s cute.¡± ¡°Seriously, Christian, what¡¯s going on?¡± Gretchen asked, pulling me around to face her, looking searchingly up into my face. I smiled gently down at her. ¡°I¡¯m just trying to tell you how much I love you, that¡¯s all,¡± I told her, steering her into walking again. We were almost there. ¡°You don¡¯t have to¡± ¡°Yes, I do,¡± I interrupted her. ¡°I want to make sure that you know, every single day for the rest of your life, how special you are to me, and how much I love you. I want to wake up with you every morning, and I want to go to bed with you every night. I want to stay with you here in Hawaii, or wherever we end up living. I want to build a home and a life with you.¡± I turned to face her as I led her into the spot that Mark and I had chosen. Then, I sank on one knee, as Mark illuminated the fairy lights all around us, showing the borate flower trellises and other decorations that we¡¯d set up. ¡°Gretchen Means, I would very much like for you to do me the honor of bing my wife.¡± Gretchen stared down at me, her hands up over her mouth. Then, she looked around at the decorations, and then back at me. ¡°Did you¡­¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I told her. ¡°I had a little help from Mark and Mina, but it was my idea.¡± She shook her head and thenughed, reaching a hand down toward me and cupping my cheek. ¡°Yes,¡± she said, the sound choked with emotion. ¡°Yes, Christian, God, yes. I would be so lucky to be your wife.¡± I smiled at her and slipped the ring out of its box, sliding it carefully onto her third finger. ¡°God, it¡¯s gorgeous,¡± Gretchen said, her fingers tracing the pattern of flowers, dotted with little diamond centers, which swirled around the ring. ¡°If you don¡¯t like it, we can return it and get you something else,¡± I told her. I hadn¡¯t been sure about the design. Something about it spoke to me. ¡°I love it,¡± Gretchen told me, reaching down to pull me to my feet. ¡°And I love you too.¡± She leaned in to kiss me. As we kissed, cheering and pping broke out around us, and I grinned. Gretchen whirled toward the sound and blushed brilliantly as she realized that pretty much everyone she knew was there. They¡¯d been waiting off in the shadows, but they¡¯d seen the whole thing. She turned back to me,ughing. ¡°You did all of this?¡± she asked. I nodded and shrugged. ¡°I know how important everyone is to you here,¡± I told her. ¡°They¡¯re your family. It was only right that they are here for this special night.¡± ¡°There isn¡¯t a luau tonight, is there?¡± Gretchen asked. ¡°There will be now,¡± I said. ¡°But I was the one to organize it. You should also know that Mina has canceled all the appointments at the shop for tomorrow, so you don¡¯t have to worry about staying outte. And speaking of Mina-¡± Mina threw herself into Gretchen¡¯s arms. ¡°I¡¯m so excited for you!¡± she cried. Then, she pulled away, grabbing Gretchen¡¯s hand. ¡°Let me see the ring. Christian wouldn¡¯t let me see it before he gave it to you, even though I told him that I¡¯m good at keeping secrets; I kept this whole thing a secret, didn¡¯t I? But he wanted you to be the first person to see it, other than him. And wow, that is pretty. It suits you too.¡± ¡°Congrattions, man,¡± Mark said, pping me on the back as he joined our little group. ¡°Seems like just yesterday I was picking you up at the airport.¡± ¡°Oh,e on, don¡¯t get all nostalgic already,¡± I said, rolling my eyes. ¡°Plenty of time for that when we¡¯re old.¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to file thatment away and make sure I get super nostalgic in my speech at the wedding,¡± Jeff told me, winking at Mina as he slipped an arm around her waist. ¡°That is if I¡¯m allowed to be part of the wedding.¡± I rolled my eyes again. ¡°You¡¯re going to be my best man, aren¡¯t you?¡± I asked him. ¡°So, yeah, I think you might have to be there at my wedding.¡± ¡°Hey, I thought I was going to be your best man!¡± Mark said,ughing. I shook my head. ¡°Sorry man, I¡¯ve already destroyed my friendship with my brother once; I don¡¯t need to do it again.¡± I grinned. Gretchen threw her arms around me again, burying her face against my shirt. ¡°You¡¯re the best,¡± she said. ¡°No, you are,¡± I told her teasingly. I looked around. ¡°Now, I know you all want to congratte our beautiful bride-to-be, but let¡¯s get this luau started!¡± Later that night, it was just Gretchen and me again, walking down the beach. ¡°That was the best night,¡± she told me quietly, twisting her fingers into mine. ¡°It was,¡± I agreed, just as quietly. I paused. ¡°You know, I am d to be here.¡± ¡°I¡¯m d that you¡¯re here too.¡± The Novel will be updated first on this website. Come back and continue reading tomorrow, everyone!