《Dirty Seduction》


 Chapter 1

    ASHLEY


    I¡¯m always the happiest when I¡¯m at my best friend¡¯s house. As soon as I pull into the long driveway and see their gorgeous house on the


    ke, I immediately feel at peace. I love Sara, and I¡¯m sure that has a lot to do with it, but if I¡¯m beingpletely honest, it¡¯s really because of her dad.Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024.


    I¡¯ve been in love with Mr. Mancini for as long as I can remember. I practically grew up in this house, and my entire childhood is filled with memories of him. He was like a second dad to me, but all that changed when I got older. I started to see him in a very different way. He was born in Italy and came to America when he was a teenager, and I began to be aware of those gorgeous Italian genes of his. His jet-ck hair, dark eyes, and olive skin drove me crazy when I¡¯de over and stay the night, and it still does. He¡¯spletely ruined my chances of ever being with anyone else. I¡¯m so obsessed with him that I¡¯ve never even been on a date with anyone. High school for me was like a nunnery. The only action I ever saw was with my hand when I was thinking about my best friend¡¯s dad. I try not to think about how fucked up that is.


    Pulling my car up to their garage, I park my sensible, and very used, Ford Focus behind Sara¡¯s red sports car and grab my bag from the back. Things are going to be different now, I tell myself. We just graduated high school, and I¡¯m 18. Mr. Mancini has been divorced for years, and as far as I know, isn¡¯t dating anyone at the moment. Thank god! Maybe I can get him to see me as something other than just his daughter¡¯s best friend.


    As soon as I ring the doorbell, Sara opens it in a rush and pulls me into a big hug.


    ¡°I¡¯m so d you¡¯re here!¡±


    Iugh and hug her back. ¡°We did just see each other a couple of days ago.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but it¡¯s different now that we¡¯ve graduated. I don¡¯t miss school, but I miss seeing you every day.¡±


    I follow her inside and toss my bag by the stairs before we head into the kitchen to grab a drink. Climbing onto a stool, I wait while she digs around in the fridge. It¡¯s just Sara and her dad in this massive house, and they¡¯re wealthy enough to have a maid and a cook whoes by to prepare all their meals in advance, so when she pulls out a pitcher of what looks to be homemade lemonade, I know it¡¯s going to be delicious.


    She pours us a couple of sses and sits on the barstool next to me.


    ¡°I¡¯ve already ordered us pizza forter, and there¡¯s a scary-looking movie that we can watch.¡±


    ¡°You neverst more than five minutes,¡± I say with a grin. ¡°You watch the whole movie from under a nket or between your fingers. I don¡¯t know why you keep trying.¡±


    ¡°I do not! I watch them.¡± She shrugs and adds, ¡°Most of them.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s all right. I don¡¯t mind giving you y-by-ys. I can be the brave one in this rtionship.¡±


    She snorts and butts her shoulder against mine. ¡°Very funny.¡±


    I take a drink of my lemonade and can¡¯t help but give a groan of appreciation. ¡°Holy shit that¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°I know, right? Mrs. Johnson is the best. You remember her chocte chip cookies?¡±


    ¡°Oh my god, so good,¡± I say, remembering thest time I had them.


    ¡°Well, she heard you wereing and made us some.¡±


    ¡°Tell her I said thanks and I love her.¡±


    Saraughs and empties her ss in one long drink. ¡°Will do.¡±


    When I¡¯m done, we head up to her room, and I can¡¯t wait any longer, so


    I say, ¡°So, is it just you and me tonight?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, my dad is at some work thing. He said he¡¯ll be gone pretty much all night.¡±


    I try not to look as disappointed as I feel. There¡¯s always tomorrow. Maybe I¡¯ll be able to see him in the morning before I leave. It¡¯s hard to resist the urge to justy down and curl into a ball, but I don¡¯t want to ruin the night for Sara, and I sure as fuck don¡¯t want her to know how I feel about her dad. stering a grin on my face, I do my best to enjoy our evening. It¡¯s not long before Sara has meughing and the time starts to fly by.


    The doorbell rings, letting us know the pizza¡¯s here, and I hang back while Sara gets the door. I have to stifle augh when the young delivery guy starts acting all flustered around her. Sara is gorgeous. How could she not be with a dad like hers? Men, old and young, can¡¯t help but fawn over her. Where my clothing tends to cover more than reveal, Sara¡¯s outfits are chosen to show as much flesh as possible. I¡¯ve always felt like the less attractive, invisible friend, but I¡¯ve never been angry or jealous of her. Okay, well maybe a little jealous, but not in a mean way. I love Sara to death, and she¡¯s never made me feel bad about myself. Quite the opposite. She loves my blonde hair and brown eyes and always tells me there¡¯s nothing wrong with being on the short side.


    I park my butt on the stairs when it¡¯s obvious the delivery guy is in no rush to get away. When my stomach lets out an embarrassingly loud growl, she finally says goodbye and follows me into the kitchen with the pizza and a phone number.


    ¡°You¡¯re such a flirt., I say with augh, grabbing a couple of tes for us.


    ¡°Of course, I was flirting. Did you see how hot he was?¡±

 Chapter 2

    I don¡¯t even bother to answer and instead justugh. I may not have dated at all in high school, but Sara sure did. Her sex life more than made up for myck of one. I may not have gotten to experience anything myself, but I sure did get to hear some funny stories!


    We happily stuff our faces for the next several minutes, and when we¡¯re back in her room, she grabs my arm and pulls me into her bathroom.


    ¡°You¡¯ve got to do this face mask with me. It¡¯s an overnight mask, so we have to wear it for like ever, but it¡¯s supposed to be awesome. I ordered it from France a few weeks ago but it was out of stock. It finally got here today, and I can¡¯t wait to try it!¡±


    I look at the fancy ss jar but can¡¯t understand a word that¡¯s written on it. When I open it, I¡¯m surprised by how good it smells, like something from a tropical ind. The dark green color of it is definitely at odds with its amazing smell.


    While Sara starts to ther it on her skin, I pull my hair into a messy bun andugh at her now very green skin.


    ¡°Don¡¯tugh. You¡¯re next,¡± she says, handing me the jar.


    I spread the thick, y-like substance on my face as Sara fidgets next to me.


    ¡°So, I kind of have something to tell me, but I don¡¯t want you to freak out.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I say, already worried by how nervous she looks.


    ¡°I heard back about the study abroad thing. They epted me.¡± She gives me a small grin, but I can see how excited she is by the news. She¡¯s just holding back for my sake, and I hate that she feels like she needs to do that.


    I give her a big grin and squeeze her shoulder since I can¡¯t pull her in for a big hug with our faces like this.Content provided by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I¡¯m excited for you,¡± I say, making sure she knows how much I mean it. ¡°I¡¯m going to miss you like crazy, but Italy for an entire semester!


    You¡¯re going to have so much fun!¡±


    She seems so relieved by my excitement, and the big smile she gives me lets me see exactly how much she¡¯s looking forward to it. I knew there was a good chance she¡¯d get epted, so it¡¯s not like it¡¯s aplete shock. I¡¯ll miss my friend for sure, but the real reason I¡¯m upset is because now I¡¯ll have no excuse to see Mr. Mancini.


    I try to act normal, but not even the scary movie can take my mind off how miserable I feel. When Sara mentions she¡¯s getting hungry, I quickly offer to run downstairs and grab us some cookies. She smiles, pauses the movie, and immediately starts scrolling through all her social media ounts. I take my time heading downstairs, knowing that she¡¯ll be happily buried in her phone for however long I take.


    Once I¡¯m downstairs, a deep voice pulls me out of my mncholy trance. My heart skips a beat when I silently peer around the corner and see Mr. Mancini talking on his phone by the window. He¡¯s thrown his suit jacket over the side of the couch and unbuttoned the top few buttons of his white dress shirt. He¡¯s also rolled up his sleeves, giving me an amazing view of his toned, tanned forearms.


    I always forget to breathe when I first see him. He¡¯s so fucking gorgeous. His dark hair looks like he¡¯s just run his hand through it, and the stubble on his cheeks just seems to entuate his chiseled jaw. Without seeing me, he turns toward the window so I¡¯m getting more of a side view, but it¡¯s enough to make my body react. My nipples are hard and my whole body is buzzing with the need to be touched. I can already feel how wet my panties are getting.


    I scootch back a little more, hiding my body in the shadows of the hallway while still peeking into the room so I can see him. The call has something to do with work, and he doesn¡¯t sound pleased. He¡¯spletely absorbed in the conversation, and without giving myself time to think, I slide my hand into my pajama bottoms and under my panties.


    If this is one of myst chances to see him before Sara leaves, then I want to make it a good one. This memory is going to have tost me a long time. His broad shoulders hold my attention as I slide a finger into my very wet pussy and start to fuck myself as quietly as possible. Already my knees feel shaky and when I bring a finger up to circle my clit, I have to bite my lip to keep from moaning.


    The sound of his deep, sexy voice washes over me as I move my hand faster. I¡¯m so close. I lean against the wall to help support myself and try to keep my breathing as quiet as possible. When he turns his head enough to give me a clear view of the sexy line of his neck and his exposed upper chest, I can¡¯t help but scoot closer in the doorway so I can see him better. The smooth expanse of muscled chest mixed with that strong forearm that¡¯s lifted to hold his phone is enough to make me cum hard against my hand. Pleasure races over me, threatening to consume me and make me fall to my knees, but I manage to keep myself upright.


    Right as I¡¯ming down, I give my clit another rub that sends a jolt of pleasure through me that¡¯s so strong a soft moan manages to escape. I freeze,pletely terrified, and when Mr. Mancini starts to turn his head, I want to die of embarrassment. It all happens so damn fast, and in just a second, he¡¯s looking at me. His eyes widen in surprise when he sees me leaning against the doorway with my hand buried in my pants.

 Chapter 3

    I seriously think about just turning around and running. I mean, he wouldn¡¯t try and chase me, right? Then I could just leave and nevere back, and we¡¯d never have to speak of this. But as soon as he starts walking toward me, I can¡¯t move. There¡¯s a heat in his eyes that has me wanting to slide my finger back in my pussy, but instead, I very slowly bring my hand out of my pants and put it behind my back. It¡¯s bad enough he saw me. I don¡¯t want the obvious wet fingers incriminating me even further. Besides, maybe I can talk my way out of this. I mean, who just stands in a doorway and fucks themselves? Maybe I can convince him it wasn¡¯t what it looked like.


    He stops right in front of me, and I desperately want to look into his gorgeous eyes, but I¡¯m way too embarrassed to do so. I focus on his throat but as soon as he swallows, I have an overwhelming urge to lick my way up his Adam¡¯s apple, so I quickly drop my gaze and focus on his ridiculously expensive-looking shoes.


    ¡°Ashley, I didn¡¯t realize you were downstairs.¡±


    I may not be looking at his face, but the amusement in his voice is damn easy to pick up on, and I¡¯ve never been more embarrassed in my life.


    ¡°Um, hi, Mr. Mancini. Sara said you¡¯d be gone all night. I just came down to get a snack. It sounds like you¡¯re busy, so I¡¯ll just get out of your way.¡±


    Before I can make my escape, he stops me by gently grabbing onto my shoulder. I feel the heat of his skin through my top, and it sends a shiver of pleasure down my spine.


    ¡°Look at me.¡±


    His voice is deep and sexy, and even though he grew up in America, he still has a faint Italian ent thanks to it being his first and onlynguage for so long. My god, just the sound of it has my pussy springing to life again. When he gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze, I slowly lift my gaze, letting my eyes trail over his long legs, then the white shirt that I know is hiding a set of abs to die for and a chest to match, until finally I¡¯m looking into his very dark, very amused eyes.


    I notice he hasn¡¯t let go of my arm, and when he starts to rub his thumb in small circles, I let out a small moan that has him lifting an eyebrow at me. I do ame fake cough, trying to cover it which only makes him smile, and it¡¯s the sexiest damn smile I¡¯ve ever seen. It¡¯s the kind of look that promises all kinds of wicked, naughty things, and I want it all.


    Before I can throw myself at him, he asks, ¡°So what were you doing when I first saw you?¡±


    It¡¯s like a bucket of cold water being thrown at me when I remember how he found me with my hand down my pants.


    ¡°Um, I was just on my way to the kitchen, but then I heard your voice, so I thought I¡¯d just peek in and say hi,¡± I say, feeling like an absolute dumbass.


    He studies me for a minute and my heart races when his eyes trail to where I¡¯d just had my hand buried.


    ¡°You have an interesting way of saying hello.¡±


    When he pulls his eyes back to mine, he gives me a wink that sends a flutter through my chest.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure what you mean,¡± I say, hoping to still bluff my way out of this.


    Without saying anything, he slides his hand down my arm, circling his long fingers around my wrist before pulling my hand up between us. My traitorous glistening fingers are screaming my guilt. There¡¯s no denying what I was doing.


    ¡°Was this because of me?¡± he asks, studying me so intently that it¡¯s like he can see into my very soul. I look for signs that he¡¯s upset or disgusted, but all I can see is curiosity and desire, and it shocks the hell out of me.


    When I don¡¯t answer quickly enough, he leans down and steps closer. His expensive cologne is not helping me think straight. I¡¯m just a puddle of arousal, and if I could form words, I¡¯d beg him to bend me over the couch and fuck the virginity right out of me.


    ¡°Ashley, I asked you a question.¡± He leans in closer and sniffs my fingers while keeping his eyes locked on mine. The groan he lets out has me so wet I can feel it starting to trickle down my inner thighs. ¡°Were you thinking of me?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I finally manage to whisper. ¡°I always think about you.¡±


    The smile he gives me can only be described as sinfully wicked. ¡°I¡¯m very d to hear that,¡± he says before wrapping his mouth around my two wet fingers.


    I gasp at the sensation of his tongue sliding along my skin and the wet heat of his mouth as he licks and sucks me clean. I feel like I¡¯m about to orgasm again. My whole body is lit up from the inside, and every stroke of his tongue brings me closer to the breaking point.


    His dark, intense eyes never leave mine, and when I let out another moan, I see him smile around my fingers. I want to cry in protest when he slowly slides my fingers out and stands back up.


    ¡°You¡¯d better go back up to bed,¡± he says in a strained voice that has me wanting to grind myself against him. ¡°A man can only take so much temptation.¡± He gives me a wink and adds, ¡°You look very good in green, by the way.¡±


    It takes a second for his words to prate the thick fog of arousal around my cock-obsessed brain. Green? I¡¯m not wearing green. And then it hits me, and I¡¯m slowly shaking my head no, willing it not to be true as one hand goes up to my face. When I feel the mask still on my skin, I give an embarrassed groan and bolt out of the room. I can¡¯t believe I forgot the damn mask! His deepughter follows me out of the room along with his parting words, ¡°I¡¯ll see you soon, Ashley.¡±


    I¡¯m too embarrassed to say anything back, but as mortified as I am, there¡¯s also a thrill running through me because holy fuck! The memory of Mr. Mancini licking the pussy juice off my fingers will stay with me forever. I just need to make sure that I¡¯m not left with only a memory.Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024.


    3

 Chapter 4

    MR. MANCINI


    I know I shouldn¡¯tugh, but the expression on Ashley¡¯s face when she realized she was still wearing that face mask was the cutest thing I¡¯ve ever seen. She¡¯s been haunting every waking thought I have since she turned 18, buttely, she¡¯s been taking over my dreams as well. There¡¯s never a time when I¡¯m not thinking about her, and it¡¯s starting to make me feel like I¡¯m losing my mind.


    When I¡¯d turned around to find her with her hand buried in her pussy and that sexy, wild look in her eyes, I¡¯d nearly yanked her pants down and bent her over right then and there. I want nothing more than to bury my cock inside her and fuck her until she can¡¯t even remember her name. It¡¯s getting harder and harder to resist that impulse.


    I can still taste her on my tongue, and the memory of the smell of her has me so hard it¡¯s painful. God, she¡¯s going to be the end of me. I shouldn¡¯t want her. I know I shouldn¡¯t. She¡¯s my daughter¡¯s best friend. I watched her grow up, for fuck¡¯s sake! Everything about this screams ooff-limitI can¡¯t help how I feel. My cock certainly isn¡¯t listening to me.


    With a sigh, I grab my discarded jacket and go to my room. First I had to go to that stupid work function filled with people who constantly try to kiss my ass, and now I¡¯m stuck with a hard-on that¡¯s showing no signs of going away anytime soon, especially not with the source of all my pain just a few doors down from me.


    Once my bedroom door is shut, I strip down and head immediately for the shower, craving the hot water on my tense, knotted-up muscles. After a few minutes, I feel my neck and shoulders start to rx, but my cock is having none of it. If anything, it¡¯s standing a little prouder.


    I know it¡¯s already a done deal, so I grab my cock like I¡¯ve been having to do at least once a day for thest several weeks and think about Ashley. This isn¡¯t about taking my time; this is about cumming as fast as possible. It¡¯s a means to an end. I tighten my grip and pump myself harder, imagining it¡¯s Ashley¡¯s tight little pussy instead of my hand.


    The usual stream of images floods my brain-me on top of her, fucking her while she looks up at me, fucking her from behind, her riding me with her tits bouncing in a hypnotic rhythm. Each scene is more vivid than thest until I get to the final one, the one I always save forst.


    I imagine Ashley in the shower with me, my hands sliding over her wet, pregnant belly as I fuck her from behind. The sound of her moaning fills my ears as I picture her arching her hips for me, needing me to fuck her harder and deeper. Right as I imagine her cumming around my cock, I m a clenched fist against the tiled wall as my whole body tenses seconds before I cum with a force that leaves me gasping.


    Even after that rush of pleasure, and even after I¡¯m emptied and spent, I still want her with a force that scares the hell out of me. I¡¯ve never felt this way about anyone before. I loved Sara¡¯s mom, but it was nothingpared to this. I know I¡¯ll never have my fill of Ashley, but I¡¯d sure like to try. It¡¯s more than just wanting to fuck her, though. I feel protective of her, obsessive about her, and so possessive that I want to follow her around all day just so I can make sure no one else tries anything with her and she¡¯s safe. Just the idea of another manying his hands on her makes me want to kill someone.


    I force myself to calm down and stay under the stream of hot water until my muscles are loose again, and I¡¯m feeling rxed enough to hopefully sleep. After toweling off, I throw on a pair of boxer briefs and crawl under the covers. I just want a few hours of peace, but thest thing on my mind before I drift off is a pair of sweet brown eyes and the knowledge that she¡¯s right down the hall when she should be in my bed.


    I woke up just as frustrated, and if I didn¡¯t need my phone so badly, I would¡¯ve thrown it against the wall when the rm went off. It had yanked me out of one of my many sex dreams starring my daughter¡¯s best friend, and I hadn¡¯t been ready to leave. At least when I¡¯m dreaming, she¡¯s mine. Now that I¡¯m awake, I¡¯m forced to go back to a world where she doesn¡¯t belong to me.


    Forcing myself out of bed, I take a quick shower and get dressed. It¡¯s Saturday, so I don¡¯t have my usual workday, but owning apany means you¡¯re always busy. I need to go in and straighten out a few things and thenter on tonight I have a business dinner that unfortunately I hadn¡¯t been able to get out of. I push it from my mind, saving that particr headache forter, and leave my bedroom.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org.


    I can¡¯t help but nce at Sara¡¯s door and picture Ashley in there sleeping. I¡¯d love to be able to fall asleep with her small body curled against mine. Hopefully, I¡¯ll at least get to see her before I have to leave. The smell of a delicious breakfast might help lure them down. I set to work and soon the smell of bacon and pancakes fills the room, and I smile when I hear a door opening above me.


    I¡¯m in the middle of flipping blueberry pancakes when I see Ashley shyly walk in.


    ¡°Good morning,¡± I say, motioning her forward. ¡°I¡¯ve already made coffee if you want some. Are you hungry?¡±


    Now that she has the face mask washed off, I can see the blush creep up her cheeks. ¡°I¡¯m starving. Thanks.¡±


    While she gets a mug, I ask, ¡°Where¡¯s Sara?¡±


    ¡°Oh, she¡¯s still passed out. I imagine she¡¯ll be sleeping in today. She was up prettyte, I think.¡±


    ¡°Not you, though?¡±

 Chapter 5

    She gives a small shrug. ¡°I finally managed to fall asleep around two.¡±


    I start stacking pancakes onto a te. ¡°Yeah, I had a hard time falling asleep, too.¡±


    When she doesn¡¯t say anything, I turn to look at her and find her staring at me. She looks so beautiful with her blonde hair still messy from sleep and her big brown eyes staring at me as if she wants me to press her up against the counter and kiss her senseless. She¡¯s wearing a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt, and it¡¯s still the sexiest damn thing I¡¯ve ever seen. Her hard nipples are begging for my attention, but instead of going to her, I hand her a te of food.


    The smile she gives me as she takes it makes me happier than I¡¯ve been in a very long time. I¡¯m already hard, have been since she walked in, but this is much more than just lust. I love her and want to take care of her. I¡¯m just not sure how to go about making that happen. She¡¯s only 18. There¡¯s no way she¡¯s going to want to settle down with someone who¡¯s old enough to be her dad. I know she¡¯s attracted to me, but that¡¯s probably all it is. Just a simple crush on her part.Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024.


    She thanks me when I pass her the bacon before getting out the butter and syrup. We both sit at the counter and when she bites into the pancakes and lets out a satisfied moan, I identally let my fork drop. The sharp tter echoes through the room, and when I look at her, she¡¯s staring at me wide-eyed and embarrassed.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she quickly says. ¡°It just tasted really good. I couldn¡¯t help myself.¡±


    ¡°I love to hear you moan. Please don¡¯t ever apologize for that.¡±


    Turning my body, so I¡¯m facing her, I search her face, looking for any clues about what she¡¯s thinking or feeling. She meets my gaze, and although there¡¯s a blush on her cheeks, her eyes are anything but uncertain. There¡¯s a heat to them that takes my breath away. Her lips part slightly, and whether she realizes it or not, so do her thighs.


    I lightly dance my fingers along her forearm that¡¯s resting on the counter between us, enjoying the trail of goosebumps that instantly arise at my touch.


    ¡°You drive me crazy,¡± I admit, knowing I¡¯m not even telling her the half of it.


    The surprised look on her face almost has meughing. How can she possibly not know the effect she has on me?


    ¡°I do?¡±


    I love how it isn¡¯t a fake response because of some game she¡¯s ying. There¡¯s an innocence about her that intrigues and amazes me. She¡¯s genuinely surprised by my reaction to her, and I love that.


    ¡°You do,¡± I say, lowering my head so I can kiss the line of goosebumps that are still visible on her pale skin.


    She gasps at my touch, and when I look up at her before running my tongue over her skin, the desire in her eyes is the best aphrodisiac in the world. I want to run my tongue over every inch of her body, and I promise myself that one day soon I will, but her lips are calling to me, and I can¡¯t resist.


    Standing, I cup her face in my hands and look down at her. Her eyes are a soft chocty brown with long, darkshes. There¡¯s a light dusting of freckles over her nose, and her lips are pouty and begging to be sucked on. I run my thumb over her bottom lip and smile when her eyes get heavylidded and she looks like she¡¯s about to beg me to fuck her. She¡¯s a sensitive thing. Makes me wonder what she¡¯d do if I ran my thumb over other parts of her body. Another thing I promise to exploreter.


    Leaning down I rece my thumb with my tongue and slowly lick first her bottom lip and then her top. She¡¯s already opening herself for me, wanting me to slide my tongue inside her. I¡¯m more than happy to give her what she wants, but not yet. I take my time nibbling on her lips, letting my teeth graze along her sensitive skin before sucking one lip into my mouth.


    Her soft moans are making my cock press painfully against my pants, and when I feel her hesitantly reach her tongue out to touch mine, I lose what little restraint I have and kiss her hard. She tastes of sweet syrup, and I can¡¯t get enough. I explore every inch of her mouth, devouring her with my lips and tongue while I cradle her face in my hands.


    I¡¯m just about to pick her up from the chair and carry her to my room when I hear Sara¡¯s door open. We both freeze, our breathsing in fast pants. I rest my forehead against hers, willing my body to calm down. The panic in her brown eyes makes me want to cradle her against my chest and protect her against anything and everything, but I hear my daughter¡¯s steps getting closer, and I can¡¯t.


    Instead, I give her a reassuring smile and say, ¡°It¡¯s going to be okay. We¡¯ll talkter. I promise.¡±


    I kiss her once more, hating that I can¡¯t take my time, and I¡¯m back in my seat by the time Sara drags her sleepy ass into the kitchen.


    ¡°Morning,¡± she says, going straight for the coffee.


    Ashley looks like a deer caught in the headlights, and I want tough when I see her shovel a big forkful of pancake into her mouth so she won¡¯t be expected to talk.


    ¡°Good morning,¡± I say, trying to look normal and not like I¡¯d just been making out with her best friend. ¡°Are you hungry? I made plenty.¡±


    She switches to Italian and tells me that she stayed up way toote and is exhausted but also starving. I finish my te while she fills me in on telling Ashley about her eptance into the study abroad program and that she thinks it¡¯s upset her. I nce at Ashley who still looks a bit shaken by our almost getting caught. It¡¯s safer to let Sara think she¡¯s upset about Italy rather than the truth, so I tell her I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll be fine and leave it at that.


    Ashely is used to us speaking Italian, but I always feel like we¡¯re leaving her out, so I switch us back to English. Sara gets plenty of practice when we¡¯re alone anyway. Italian was my firstnguage, and it¡¯s something I felt very strongly about passing on to my daughter, so I¡¯ve been speaking it to her since birth.


    When Sara¡¯s done fixing her te, I offer her my seat and start cleaning up. I can¡¯t help but listen in to their conversation since they¡¯re right in front of me, and I learn that Ashley has to work tonight.


    ¡°Which restaurant are you waitressing at now?¡±

 Chapter 6

    I ask while I load up the dishwasher.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    When her eyes meet mine, she immediately starts to blush, and I can¡¯t help but smile when I see it. I love that the reaction I have to her is so obvious and immediate.


    ¡°Alfonso¡¯s, the one across theke.¡±


    ¡°Have you given any more thought to college?¡±


    She shrugs and instead of just handing me her te, she gets up toe and wash it herself.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I¡¯ll probably just keep saving for a year or two and then decide.¡±


    I take her te from her and start rinsing it off which earns me a tiny scowl. I give her a smile before loading her te into the dishwasher.


    ¡°Don¡¯t forget what I said before. I¡¯m more than happy to help you pay for college if you want to go.¡±


    We¡¯ve had this conversation a few times, and every time I bring it up, she refuses to ept my offer. It¡¯s nice to be around someone who¡¯s not constantly trying to get their hands on my money, but it¡¯s frustrating as hell when I want to share it with her but she won¡¯t take it.


    ¡°I won¡¯t forget. I appreciate it, but I¡¯m okay. I make pretty good tips at this ce. It¡¯ll add up fast.¡±


    She reaches for the sponge to wipe up the counter, and I can¡¯t resist letting my fingers graze her skin when she¡¯s this close to me. I see more than hear the sharp intake of breath. Her lips part, her chest expands then quickly freezes as a red flush creeps up her neck. It¡¯s over in seconds, but her reaction ys over and over in my mind, taunting me with how much I want her.


    When shees back to where I¡¯m still standing in front of the sink, she surprises the hell out of me by letting her fingers trail along my back as she walks behind me. Just that small amount of pressure, that tiny bit of contact between us is enough to get my semi-hard dick fully erect. I¡¯m thankful that my lower half is still hidden. I shoot her a heated look, wanting her to see what she¡¯s doing to me. Her lips quirked up in a small smile, but I could tell that she was just as aroused as I was. I¡¯d give anything to be able to spend the day with her, nothing but her and me and arge bed.


    But Sara¡¯s voice brings reality mming back into us.


    ¡°Thanks for breakfast, Dad. That was delicious.¡±


    I smile and take her te from her, adding it to the dishwasher.


    ¡°I¡¯m d you liked it. So what are your ns today?¡±


    ¡°Well, since my best friend decided to take a double shift today,¡± she says, shooting Ashley a fake angry look, ¡°I guess I¡¯ll hang out here until tonight.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s happening tonight?¡±


    She gives me a big smile. ¡°I¡¯ve got a date.¡±


    ¡°With Gavin?¡±


    ¡°No, this is someone I just metst night.¡± She looks at Ashley and lets out augh that I don¡¯t understand and probably don¡¯t want to.


    ¡°Okay, well, just be careful. I¡¯ll probably be homete again.¡±


    ¡°No worries, Dad. I¡¯ll be fine.¡±


    When she heads back upstairs, Ashley follows. She looks back at me and I give her a wink before she disappears around the corner. God, this is going to be a long fucking day.


    I was feeling impatient and frustrated as all hell, so I decided to take my Ferrari to work. It¡¯s my favorite car, and it always puts me in a good mood. Even though I can¡¯t go as fast as I¡¯d like, the drive still manages to make me feel better, and by the time I pull into my reserved parking spot, I¡¯m ready to focus on work and put my dick and all thoughts about Ashley to the side. At least for a few hours.


    Thanks to a few hectic work emergencies, the day passes fairly quickly. I¡¯d be in a damn good mood if it wasn¡¯t for that stupid work dinner I need to go to. Jennifer Ryan has been contemting using mypany for all her advertising needs for a few weeks now, and it¡¯s bing painfully obvious that she¡¯d like me to take care of some other needs as well. If herpany wasn¡¯t worth so much damn money, then I¡¯d pawn this off on someone else, but this would mean millions for mypany, and she insists on only doing business with me.


    When she texts me asking if we can meet at Alfonso¡¯s, I groan and suggest a different restaurant.


    Her reply makes me want to throw the whole damn thing off.


    Nonsense! I hear it¡¯s the best ce around. Plus, how can I pass up an opportunity to hear you speak Italian? I¡¯ve already made reservations.


    See you there at 8!


    I let loose a long line of obscenities in Italian. Too bad she isn¡¯t here to hear that. Although, it¡¯s probably not quite what she¡¯s envisioning.


    I have just enough time to run back to the house to get ready. Alfonso¡¯s isn¡¯t the kind of ce you show up to in jeans. I pick out a ck Armani suit and pair it with a subtle, striped tie. I¡¯m not thinking about Jennifer as I¡¯m getting ready, though. All I can think about is seeing Ashley again.


    The drive to the restaurant doesn¡¯t take long at all. I leave my keys with an excited-looking young valet driver and walk inside. The cheery hostess gives me a big smile and a look that I easily recognize, but I¡¯m not interested in her, not in the way she wants me to be.


    ¡°I¡¯m meeting someone here,¡± I tell her. ¡°The reservation should be under Jennifer Ryan.¡±


    The young girl hides her disappointment well and looks down at her list.


    ¡°Ah, yes, sir. She¡¯s already been seated. Please follow me, and I¡¯ll show you to your table.¡±


    I thank her and follow her deeper into the restaurant. It¡¯s packed tonight, and I try to scan the waitresses for Ashley, but I don¡¯t see her. As soon as I¡¯m close to the table, Jennifer sees me and gives me a huge smile. She¡¯s gone all out. Her blonde hair is loose, falling to just below her shoulders, and she¡¯s wearing a very low-cut ck dress that leaves very little to the imagination. Too bad for her I have no desire to imagine anything.


    Right as she stands up and gives me a very unprofessional hug, I look over her shoulder and see Ashley heading straight for our table.

 Chapter 7

    ASHLEY


    I feel like I¡¯m going to throw up as I watch the very leggy blonde in front of me wrap her arms around Mr. Mancini, pulling him into a very tight hug. I meet his eyes, but aside from shock, I can¡¯t tell what the hell he¡¯s thinking. I know exactly what I¡¯m thinking, though.


    I¡¯ve been such an idiot! What happenedst night and this morning didn¡¯t mean shit to him. God, I feel so stupid. He probably kisses countless women. And what was the most important moment of my life so far, probably didn¡¯t mean anything to him except just another kiss from some woman throwing themselves at him.


    Forcing my legs to move, I curse everything in the universe for putting them at one of my tables. I take out my pad and give the world¡¯s fakest smile.


    ¡°Hello, my name is Ashley, and I¡¯ll be your waitress for this evening. Can I start you out with a drink and some appetizers?¡±


    I avoid Mr. Mancini¡¯s eyes and instead focus on the beautiful woman seated across from him.


    ¡°I¡¯ll have a ss of the house red,¡± she says.


    ¡°And for you, sir?¡± I ask, turning my head but still avoiding direct eye contact.


    ¡°Ashley, this is ridiculous. Stop acting like you don¡¯t know me.¡±


    I¡¯m surprised by his words, surprised enough to look up and meet those gorgeous dark eyes of his. He¡¯s looking at me as if he¡¯spletely confused by my reaction to him.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°You know each other?¡± the blonde asks, and she doesn¡¯t sound too pleased about it.


    ¡°Yes, we saw each other just this morning actually,¡± Mr. Mancini says with a grin. Even in this extremely awkward situation, that smile of his still manages to set my body ame, and I feel my pussy immediately respond to him.


    ¡°Oh, do tell.¡±


    I notice her voice has reached icy, frigid levels.


    ¡°I¡¯m his daughter¡¯s best friend,¡± I say, noticing the instant relief in her eyes.


    ¡°Oh, how sweet,¡± she says with a grin that makes me want to smack her stupid, beautiful face.


    ¡°What would you like to drink, Mr. Mancini?¡± I ask, just wanting to get the hell out of there.


    ¡°I¡¯ll take a whiskey, please. Thank you, Ashley.¡±


    I try not to think about how much I love the sound of my name on his lips.


    Quickly getting their drinks, I drop them off and take their dinner orders. I scurry off, d to be free of them for at least a few minutes. My other tables keep me busy, but I can¡¯t keep my eyes from constantly darting back to their table. The woman, Jennifer I heard him call her, is all smiles and wide eyes, and I imagine that¡¯s exactly how I look when I¡¯m with him. I want to kick myself.


    They¡¯re busy talking about something, but I¡¯m not sure what. When I bring them their tes, they stop talking as soon as they see me, so I have no idea what¡¯s keeping them so deep in conversation.


    Before I can make my escape, Jennifer says, ¡°Um, waitress,¡± and holds her ss out to me.


    ¡°My name is Ashley,¡± I say, taking her ss.


    ¡°Whatever. I didn¡¯t like the taste of that. I¡¯d like a different wine.¡± I hold up the empty ss and look at her.


    ¡°Is there a problem?¡± She raises a finely sculpted eyebrow at me.


    ¡°No,¡± I say because it¡¯s not worth the fuss, but it takes all my willpower to turn around and get her another ss of wine. I pour her another ss from the same bottle and have to fight my smile as I bring it to her.


    ¡°I hope this is more to your liking,¡± I say, cing it in front of her.


    She takes a sip like she¡¯s a fucking world-ss wine taster and gives a sigh of appreciation.


    ¡°Much better,¡± she says with a bitchy smile.


    ¡°So d to hear that,¡± I say with so much sarcasm that I hear Mr. Mancini stifle augh with a cough.


    I leave their table alone while they eat and notice the owner go over to say hello to them. I knew he would at some point. Mr. Mancini is good for business, but he also speaks Italian, and Alfonso never misses an opportunity to talk to someone from the old country.


    Hearing the string of Italianing out of Mr. Mancini¡¯s mouth isn¡¯t helping me to keep my body in check. Judging by the look on Jennifer¡¯s face, it¡¯s also quite the aphrodisiac for her as well. Wonderful.


    When I can¡¯t avoid their table any longer, I make a quick run to the kitchen, and by the time Ie out, Jennifer is alone at the table, looking beautiful and smug.


    ¡°Would you like to order a dessert?¡±


    She gives me a wicked grin and says, ¡°No. We¡¯re quite anxious to get back to his house. Can you hurry up with the check?¡±


    My stomach drops at her words, and I grit my teeth to stop my eyes from watering. I will not give her the satisfaction of knowing how deeply her words have cut me. With a nod, I turn and leave. Mr. Mancini walks toward me on the way to his table, and when he tries to stop me, I jerk my arm away and keep walking. He calls after me, but I ignore it.


    I grab their bill and beg one of my coworkers to drop it off and handle the payment. Shees back a few minutester.


    ¡°He told me to make sure you get this,¡± she says holding out a piece of paper. ¡°My god, you¡¯re so lucky. He was fucking gorgeous! All my tables are filled with grumpy, old men tonight.¡±


    I thank her and when I¡¯m alone, I open the slip of paper.


    Ashley, I¡¯m sorry for how rude Jennifer was to you. Please meet me out front. I¡¯d like to speak to you.


    Mr. M.

 Chapter 8

    I stare at the note for a few more seconds and then look at the tip he added to the bill. My eyes widen at the $100 he¡¯s written in. I¡¯m beyond pissed. First, he kisses me this morning, and that¡¯s after he licked my pussy juices off my fingersst night! Then, he tells me how crazy I drive him, and now he¡¯sing to the restaurant I work at with his gorgeous dates!


    Are you fucking kidding me!


    Fuck this!


    My shift just ended, and I¡¯m done with this ce. I grab my purse and head out to my car. I¡¯m so angry that it takes me half the parking lot to remember that my brother begged me to borrow my car tonight. I was going to ask a coworker to drive me home, but there¡¯s no way in hell I¡¯m going back in there. I only live a few miles away, and it¡¯s a nice night. Besides, the walk will help me to cool off. I¡¯m mad enough to not even feel how tired my feet are.


    I¡¯ve barely made it a hundred feet down the road when I hear the roar of a very expensive engine. Stepping closer to the ditch, I keep walking, giving them a chance to speed on by, but they don¡¯t. The ck Porsche stops right next to me. I look over when I hear the window roll down.


    ¡°Ashley, what the hell are you doing?¡±


    I give a frustrated growl when I hear his sexy voice. ¡°I¡¯m walking home!¡± I yell, not even bothering to look at him.


    ¡°Get in the car.¡±


    ¡°Fuck you!¡± I scream, feeling like a stupid kid when I can no longer stop the tears froming.


    ¡°Please get in the car. I¡¯ll drive you home. I¡¯ll take you wherever you want, but please get in so you¡¯re safe.¡±


    I stop because I¡¯m angry and sad and confused and so fucking tired all of a sudden. I just want to go home and crawl under my covers and nevere out. I reach for the door and get in, sinking into the luxurious leather seat. I¡¯m crying harder now, and there¡¯s no way to hide it, so I don¡¯t even try. Whatever. Let himugh at me if he wants.Content provided by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Why are you so angry at me? I¡¯m sorry she was so rude to you. I am-¡±


    I cut him off before he can say another damn word.


    ¡°I don¡¯t give a shit if your stupid date hates me! If you want to date such a stuck-up bitch, then that¡¯s your problem. Not mine. I¡¯m pissed at myself. I¡¯ve been such an idiot!¡±


    He doesn¡¯t say anything, just turns off the road and takes us down a short path that leads to a small boat dock and a view of theke. I try very hard to not watch his hand as he shifts gears. There¡¯s something so fucking sexy about the way he handles the car and knowing he¡¯s never going to be mine breaks my heart into a million painful pieces. He parks and shuts off the engine before angling his body so he can see me better.


    ¡°Is that what you think?¡±


    I bury my head in my hands and groan. When he ces hisrge hand on my knee, my body stiffens, but I don¡¯t push him off. I want to crawl into hisp and have him hold me, and I hate that I still want that so badly.


    ¡°You were on a date with her, and I get it. I do. You¡¯re so gorgeous, and you could have anyone, and I¡¯m just the stupid virgin who¡¯s been in love with you her whole stupid life. I¡¯m sorry I yelled at you,¡± I manage to squeak out before I¡¯m sobbing again.


    When he leans over and wraps his arms around me, I don¡¯t fight him. I cling to him like my life depends on it and sob as he rubs my back and whispers words in Italian to me. I don¡¯t know what he¡¯s saying, but it¡¯s so damn nice to hear.


    He switches to English and says, ¡°How could you ever think I would take someone out on a date after what we sharedst night and this morning?¡±


    My voice is shaky and hoarse when I answer. ¡°It just seemed like you were on a date, and then she told me that you guys didn¡¯t want dessert because you were both anxious to get back to your ce.¡±


    He says something in Italian, and judging by the harsh tone, it¡¯s not anything nice.


    ¡°I would never date her. It was a work dinner, Ashley. She wants something more, but I¡¯ve made it very clear that it¡¯s never going to happen. I can¡¯t stand the woman, and after the way she treated you, I told her I had no interest in doing business with her.¡±


    ¡°You did?¡± I ask, lifting my head so I can see his face. His dark eyes are looking at me as if I¡¯m something precious to him, and it makes me start crying all over again when I remember how horrible I was to him.


    ¡°Hey,¡± he says, running his thumbs over my cheeks in a useless attempt to dry them as I keep crying. ¡°Why are you crying again?¡± ¡°Because I yelled at you!¡± I say with a sob.

 Chapter 9

    He smiles the most beautiful smile and kisses my forehead. ¡°I love a woman who speaks her mind. I¡¯m d you stuck up for yourself. You have no idea how many people just want to kiss my ass all day. I can¡¯t even remember thest time anyone had the guts to say ¡®fuck you¡¯ to me.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry I got everything wrong.¡±


    ¡°You have nothing to apologize for. I can easily see how it didn¡¯t look like a business dinner.¡±


    ¡°Not in the dress she was wearing,¡± I can¡¯t help but add.


    Heughs. ¡°She really can¡¯t take a hint, but I¡¯m pretty sure she understands everything now.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry you lost the deal with her. I hope you didn¡¯t lose much.¡±


    He swats the air like it¡¯s no big deal at all. ¡°Please don¡¯t worry about that. It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    I rest my hand over him, holding him against me as I lean my face into him.


    ¡°Did you mean what you said?¡± he asks quietly.


    ¡°About you being gorgeous? Yes, I meant that.¡±


    He gives me a sweet smile but doesn¡¯t let me off the hook. ¡°Thank you, but that¡¯s not what I¡¯m talking about. Are you a virgin who¡¯s in love with me?¡±


    ¡°Is it okay if I am?¡± I ask instead of answering.


    The sexy grin he gives me has me practically squirming in my seat.


    ¡°It¡¯s more than okay. You have no idea how much it would mean to me to hear you say it¡¯s true.¡±


    I look into his dark eyes and tell him everything.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been in love with you for years, Mr. Mancini. I couldn¡¯t bring myself to date anyone else. All I¡¯ve ever wanted is you.¡±


    ¡°My sweet girl,¡± he says, bringing his mouth close to mine. ¡°Don¡¯t you think it¡¯s about time you started calling me by my first name?¡±


    I can¡¯t help but smile, before saying ¡°Anthony¡± softly against his lips.


    ¡°Tony,¡± he says. ¡°Just call me Tony,¡± but before I can, his mouth is on me and nothing else matters.


    There¡¯s a desperation to this kiss that wasn¡¯t there earlier. It¡¯s as if he thinks he might lose me at any second like he never wants to let me go. It¡¯s rough and passionate and has my panties soaked in seconds. He sucks and nibbles on my lips, drawing my bottom one into his mouth before scraping his teeth over it. Shivers run up and down my spine, and I feel like I¡¯m going to explode if I don¡¯t cum soon.


    When he pulls away, we¡¯re both left gasping. I cling to his shoulders, wanting and needing him closer but the car¡¯s not big enough for what all I want.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I need you,¡± I say, and he smiles when I clutch fistfuls of his suit jacket, trying to pull him closer.


    ¡°I need you too, more than you can know, but I¡¯m not fucking you until I can have you forever.¡±


    When he sees my shocked look, he brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, letting his fingers caress my skin along the way. ¡°Does that scare you?¡± ¡°No,¡± I say.


    ¡°I don¡¯t just want a fling with you. I want all of you. I need all of you.


    And once I have it, I won¡¯t ever be able to let it go.¡± ¡°That¡¯s all I¡¯ve ever wanted.¡±


    ¡°Sara is leaving for her grandparents tomorrow. She wants to spend time with them before she leaves. Come over after she leaves. I¡¯ll clear my schedule. You can decide what you want then.¡±


    ¡°I already know what I want,¡± I say, reaching up to run my hands through his thick hair.


    ¡°Tomorrow,¡± he says again, and I know there¡¯s no budging him. ¡°Your parents will be worried if you don¡¯t go home tonight, and if you¡¯re going to stay with me, I¡¯d rather be fucking you instead of trying to calm your parents down over the phone.¡±


    He has a point, but I don¡¯t like it. I bring my lips back to his, wanting him to feel how much I need him right now. When I run my tongue along him, he lets out a deep groan that has me trying to undo the buttons on his shirt. God, he looks so damn sexy in this suit, but I want it off.


    When he stills my hand, I give his bottom lip a soft bite in warning. I feel his mouth smile against mine, but he doesn¡¯t let my hands go.


    ¡°I can¡¯t wait until tomorrow,¡± I whimper against his lips.


    ¡°You¡¯ve waited 18 years,¡± he reminds me.


    ¡°Exactly! I can¡¯t take any more.¡±


    He holds my face in his hands and gently kisses my jaw.


    ¡°Does my sweet girl need to cum,¡± he murmurs against my skin in between kisses.


    ¡°God, yes,¡± I moan.


    ¡°Good, because I can¡¯t get the taste of your pussy out of my mind.¡±


    Pleasure races over me at the sound of his words. Before I can even react, he¡¯s out of the car and headed to my side. He looks like a man possessed, and I¡¯ve never seen anything so sexy in my life. The suit hugs his body, entuating his broad shoulders and slim, firm waist, and his long legs make quick work of the distance.


    He opens my door and grabs my hand, pulling me up as if I weigh nothing. I don¡¯t know what he has nned, but I know I want it!

 Chapter 10

    MR. MANCINI


    I can¡¯t believe this beautiful, young woman wants to be with me and has saved herself for me. All I want to do is bury myself deep inside


    her and im every part of her, but I refuse to take her virginity like that. There¡¯s no way in hell I¡¯m going to fuck her and then drop her off at her house. Fuck no! She¡¯s mine after I im that pussy, and I¡¯ll never let her go.


    She jumps into my arms and wraps her legs around me, moaning when she feels the hard length of me. When she buries her face in my neck, I take advantage of how close she is and start sucking and kissing on her neck. The taste of her drives me wild, and when I set her down on the hood of my car, she immediately tries to pull me down on top of her.


    ¡°Easy,¡± I say with augh, giving her corbone a soft bite. ¡°Lay here like a good girl and let me taste you.¡±


    She moans at my words and runs her hands through my hair as I kiss my way down her chest. When her shirt gets in my way, I roughly rip it open, hearing the buttons fall on the car before rolling off. I jerk her bra down and run my tongue over her hard nipple. She moans and wiggles beneath me.


    ¡°Fuck!¡± she gasps when I give her a gentle bite.


    I lift my head long enough to say, ¡°Tell me what all you¡¯ve done.¡±


    I need to know who else has touched her and how. The very idea of it makes me insanely jealous, but I need to know.


    ¡°Nothing,¡± she moans as I suck and kiss her tit.


    ¡°Nothing at all?¡±


    ¡°No. I¡¯ve never done anything. My first kiss was this morning, and you gave it to me.¡±


    I¡¯m so shocked I let her tit drop from my mouth. My god, no wonder she was so upset seeing me with Jennifer. That must have killed her to think that I was with another woman. It breaks my heart to think about it. I made a promise to myself right then that she¡¯ll never doubt how I feel about her ever again. Every second of every day, she¡¯ll know how much I love and cherish her.


    Bringing my mouth to hers, I kiss her gently, savoring the taste of her. ¡°Thank you for saving yourself for me. It¡¯s a gift I don¡¯t deserve, but I¡¯ll spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of it. I love you,¡± I say, kissing a line back to her chest. ¡°More than you¡¯ll ever know.¡±


    ¡°I love you,¡± she says, and I love how breathy her voice sounds and how she¡¯s doing her damnedest to rub her pussy along my hard cock.


    Smiling against her tit, I use my hands to firmly hold her hips in ce. She groans in frustration, but there¡¯s not a damn thing she can do, and she knows it. I nibble and suck on her tit until she¡¯s begging me to make her cum. I could happily spend hours worshipping her body with my mouth, but I know we don¡¯t have that kind of time tonight.


    Slipping my hands down, I slide them under her short, ck skirt and tug off the leggings she¡¯s wearing underneath. I peel them down her beautiful legs, kissing the skin of her thighs as it¡¯s exposed to me before tossing the leggings aside.


    With a reverence that I¡¯ve never felt in any church I¡¯ve ever been in, I fall to my knees and very slowly lift her skirt and slide her panties down, shoving them in my pocket. I groan at the sight of her bald, wet pussy before me and kiss my way back up her inner thigh. Her scent drives me crazy, and as soon as I¡¯m close enough, she grabs onto my hair and tries to force my head between her legs.


    ¡°Patience, little one,¡± I tell her, giving her thigh a soft bite. ¡°Something as beautiful as this shouldn¡¯t be rushed.¡±


    ¡°I need to cum,¡± she pants above me.


    ¡°Oh, you will,¡± I say with a grin. ¡°I can promise you that.¡±


    I grab onto her thighs and lift them up and to the sides so she¡¯s spread open before me. Hovering my face above her, so close we¡¯re almost touching, I close my eyes and inhale her sweet scent. I nuzzle her pussy, giving her soft kisses and licks as she moans and writhes on the hood of the car.


    ¡°What are you saying?¡±


    I hadn¡¯t even realized I¡¯d been speaking out loud, but I trante the words to her as I continue to kiss and nibble on her pussy lips.


    ¡°I said your body is the most beautiful work of art I¡¯ve ever seen, and I want to spend the rest of my life worshipping it.¡±


    ¡°Damn,¡± she moans, making me let out a deepugh that has her moaning again when she feels the heat of my breath on her sensitive skin.


    No longer able to resist, I very slowly run my tongue up her wet slit, feeling her soft pussy lips gently part beneath me as I barely prate her with my tongue. She wants more than I¡¯m giving her, and I have to grip her thighs tighter to keep her still.


    ¡°Please,¡± she whimpers when I very slowly run my tongue over her swollen clit.


    ¡°Please what?¡±


    It takes her a second to respond because I¡¯m flicking her clit with my tongue and she can¡¯t seem to form words.


    ¡°Please make me cum!¡± she screams.


    ¡°Who?¡± I growl with my lips locked around her swollen clit. ¡°Who¡¯s making you cum?¡±


    ¡°Mr-¡± but then she cuts herself off and says, ¡°Tony, please make me cum, Tony.¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    My name on her lips is the best sound in the world, but now I want to hear her scream it.


    I press the pad of my tongue against her clit and work her in circles while I slowly slide one finger into her tight, wet pussy. I let out a feral-sounding groan when I felt her immediately mp onto me. There¡¯s going to be a puddle on my Ferrari, I think with a grin.


    My finger fucks her in a slow rhythm as I work her clit faster. I know she¡¯s about to burst, and when I feel her whole body tense beneath me, I give her clit a sharp suck as shees undone beneath me.


    ¡°Fuck, Tony!¡± she screams, but I don¡¯t stop.


    I kiss and suck and tongue her clit, speeding up my finger so she¡¯s cumming again and again. When I feel her body go limp and her muscles tremble beneath my hands, I slide my finger out and bury my face in her pussy, licking and sucking as much of her pussy juice as I can get. By the time I¡¯m satisfied, I feel drunk off her. She tastes better than anything I¡¯ve ever known, and I¡¯ll never get tired of feasting on her.


    Kissing my way up her body again, I capture her mouth in mine and kiss her hard. She cups my face in her hands and sucks my tongue into her mouth, moaning when she tastes herself on me. I press my cock against her pussy, wanting nothing more than to be inside her. I need to be as close to her as possible.


    I force myself to pull back, knowing I¡¯ll never be able to stop if I keep kissing her like this. We¡¯re both gasping for air, and the smile she gives me is so sweet and so full of love. She¡¯s the most beautiful, innocent thing I¡¯ve ever seen. Even though I just had my face buried in her delicious pussy, she still manages to look shy. It makes me want to do all kinds of things to her.


    It makes me want to know what all she fantasizes about, what all she wants.


    ¡°Feel better?¡± I ask her with a grin.


    Sheughs and says, ¡°God, yes, but I want more, Tony. I want you. All of you.¡±


    ¡°How do you want me?¡±


    She looks embarrassed and tries to avoid my eyes.


    ¡°Look at me,¡± I say, running my fingers down the side of her face. ¡°I don¡¯t want you to be embarrassed with me. I want to give you everything that you want.¡±

 Chapter 11

    When she doesn¡¯t say anything, I run my thumb over her soft, bottom lip.


    ¡°I¡¯d love to know what you were thinking about the other night.¡± I kiss her cheeks when they erupt in a deep crimson shade.


    ¡°I love how you blush. My sweet girl is so quick to blush, but she¡¯s also the one who fucked herself while watching me from the dark.¡±


    She squirms beneath me, embarrassed, but there¡¯s no denying the lust in her eyes.


    ¡°I¡¯d like you to tell me tomorrow when youe over. I want to know everything you thought about, everything you want, and then I¡¯m going to give it to you. Does that sound good?¡±


    Her eyes widen as a new wave of desire washes over her. She gives a quick nod of her head.


    ¡°Good,¡± I say, leaning down to give her a soft kiss. ¡°I¡¯ll be thinking about it nonstop until then.¡±


    Iugh as I stand up, but I¡¯m not joking. It will be the only thing I¡¯ll be able to think about, wondering what she imagines me doing to her, imagining what I will be doing to her. It¡¯s enough to make a man crazy.


    Reaching for her leggings, I start to help her back into them when she puts her hand on my arm, stopping me.


    ¡°What about my panties?¡±


    I give her a wink. ¡°I¡¯m keeping those.¡±


    She gives me a big smile and lets me pull her to her feet. I gently pull her leggings back up and fix her skirt. Her shirt is beyond repair. I help her adjust her bra, though, and reach into the caI I tossed a sweater in the back the other day. It¡¯ll be huge on her, but it¡¯s better than letting her walk around with an open shirt. Just the idea of another man seeing her like this is enough to bring out all my possessive instincts.


    ¡°Here, let¡¯s get this on you,¡± I say, helping to slide the shirt over her head, eager for her to be covered and warm.


    She breathes in the shirt and smiles, hugging herself tightly.


    ¡°It smells like you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m d,¡± I say. ¡°You should always smell like me, just like I should always smell like you. Any man whoes near you should immediately smell me and know to back off.¡±


    ¡°And any woman should do the same to you,¡± she says with a grin.


    ¡°What other women?¡± I wrap my arms around her and hold her close. ¡°There are no other women. Just you. You¡¯re all I see.¡±


    She hugs me tightly, and I never want to let her go. I¡¯m not sure I ever would have, but the sharp ding of her phone forces me to. She groans and pulls it out from a hidden pocket in her skirt.


    ¡°It¡¯s my mom. She¡¯s worried because I¡¯m not there yet.¡± She sends her a quick text before looking up at me.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I told her I was helping them to clean up, but I do need to get home.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t apologize. I kept you out too long, but I¡¯m not sure I can be sorry for that.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not either,¡± she says, giving me a sexy grin.


    When I step back, she notices the condition of my suit and brings her hand to her mouth.


    ¡°Oh my god, I¡¯m so sorry about your suit. I can¡¯t believe you got down on your knees in an Armani suit!¡±


    Iugh and walk to the driver¡¯s side. Before I get in, I look at her over the car and say, ¡°I don¡¯t give a damn about the suit. One taste of your pussy is worth a thousand of them.¡±Content provided by N?velDrama.Org.


    The shocked look on her face is adorable. Damn, it¡¯s going to be a lot of fun to spoil her.


    When she¡¯s all buckled up, I pull out and head toward her house. Any time I¡¯m not shifting, my hand is on her thigh. I can¡¯t stop touching her. I don¡¯t want to ever stop touching her. The drive is over way too soon, and I groan when I see her parents looking out the window when I pull into the driveway.


    ¡°I really wanted to kiss you again, but I¡¯m guessing now isn¡¯t the best time to spring it on your parents.¡±


    I slide my hand up her thigh and under her skirt as her parentse out the front door. Before they see us, I cup her pussy through her leggings, making her moan and grab onto my wrist.


    ¡°Until tomorrow, Ashley,¡± I say, pressing my finger tightly against her clit before sliding my hand back out. ¡°I love you, my sweet girl.¡±


    ¡°I love you, Tony,¡± she says, and the heat in her voice almost undoes me.


    Right before we get out, I say, ¡°Here¡¯s hoping they don¡¯t notice the pussy stain on the hood.¡±


    The look of horror on her face has meughing as I open the door and step out.


    ¡°Hey,¡± I say, waving to her parents. ¡°Sorry, y she¡¯s a littlete. It¡¯s my fault. I was at Alfonso¡¯s having a business supper, and we got to talking. I didn¡¯t realize howte it was.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s no problem at all,¡± her mom says with a smile. ¡°I was just worried she may not have gotten a ride home.¡±


    ¡°Thanks for bringing her home, Tony,¡± her dad says, but I notice his smile is a little more guarded than his wife¡¯s.


    That heart-to-heart we¡¯re going to be having soon is going to be a ton of fun. His eyes drift to my car, and I thank the gods that it¡¯s not a full moon and most of it is hidden in darkness.


    ¡°Beautiful car,¡± he says with a smile. ¡°Thanks. She¡¯s a lot of fun to drive.¡± ¡°I bet,¡± he says with augh.


    I say my goodbyes, and I can¡¯t help but shoot Ashley a quick wink before getting back into my car. I wait until she¡¯s safely inside before pulling out. The car feels so much emptier without her in the passenger seat, and I¡¯m not looking forward to another night alone. The faster I can make her mine, the better. I don¡¯t want to spend another night away from her ever again.

 Chapter 12

    ASHLEY


    I run up to my bedroom with a huge grin on my face. Holy shit!


    I can¡¯t believe that it all just happened! I can¡¯t believe that Mr. Mancini, no, Tony, just ate me out on the hood of his sexy car! As if that isn¡¯t amazing enough, he also said he loves me and wants to be with me. I feel like I could explode from happiness. I was so devastated when I thought he was on a date with that woman. My whole world felt like it had fallen apart and someone had stomped on my heart, but now it¡¯s the exact opposite. I¡¯m scared I¡¯m going to wake up only to find this was all a dream. I don¡¯t think I could stand to have it all taken away, not after knowing what it feels like to have him look at me with those gorgeous dark eyes of his and tell me he loves me.


    I hug my arms around my chest and breathe in theforting scent of him. Just the smell of him makes me immediately feel better. Flopping back on my bed, I sigh and grab my phone. I scroll through my contacts until I see his name. I change it from Mr. Mancini to Tony, smiling at how much I love seeing his name on my list. When enough time has passed for him to get home and without overthinking it, I send him a quick text.


    Let me know when you get there. Just want to make sure you made it home okay.


    I feel like an idiot, but I don¡¯t care. This is the only way I can contact him right now, and I need it. I love that he doesn¡¯t make me wait. I immediately see the pulsating dots that let me know he¡¯s typing.


    Just got back, and I miss you already.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org.


    I¡¯m smiling so big my cheeks hurt.


    I miss you too. I doubt I¡¯ll be able to sleep at all tonight.


    I¡¯m going to be fucking you senseless tomorrow so try your best to rest up. ??


    A thrill rushes over me as I read his words. I felt how hard and big he was earlier when I was on the hood of his car, and it¡¯s all I can think about now.


    Can I call you?


    You never need to ask that, my sweet girl. I am yours. Anytime. Always.


    God, just his words are enough to set my body on fire. I quickly hit the call button, desperate and needing to hear his deep, sexy voice.


    ¡°Tony?¡± I ask as soon as I hear him answer.


    ¡°I love hearing you say my name.¡±


    His voice is like pure sex, practically purring over the line, and if I had any panties on, they¡¯d be soaked.


    Speaking of panties, I ask, ¡°Do you still have my panties?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    ¡°What are you going to do with them?¡± I can¡¯t help but ask.


    He lets out a deepugh that hits me right in the pussy.


    ¡°Well, right now I¡¯m smelling them,¡± he says, and I hear him breathe in deeply before letting out another groan. ¡°And when we¡¯re done talking, I¡¯ll probably jerk off with them. I¡¯ve been hard since I saw you at the restaurant, and it¡¯s quickly bing unbearable.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m so sorry!¡± I quickly say. ¡°You spent all your time making me cum, and you didn¡¯t get to at all!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine, Ashley. I wanted to please you. That¡¯s all I care about.¡±


    ¡°Well, you did,¡± I say with augh.


    I can hear the smile in his voice when he says, ¡°I¡¯m d to hear that.¡±


    Feeling bold, I say, ¡°But why wait until we¡¯re done talking? Why not let yourself feel good now?¡±


    It feels like a lifetime before he says, ¡°What exactly did you have in mind?¡±


    ¡°Well,¡± I say, suddenly feeling like I¡¯ve just gotten myself in way over my head, ¡°I¡¯m not sure.¡± I feel like an absolute idiot.


    Sensing my embarrassment, he rescues me and says, ¡°How about you tell me what you were thinking about the other night?¡±


    ¡°I was just looking at you. I knew I had to be quick, but all it took was the sound of your voice and the sight of you. I kept thinking about how much I wanted to run my tongue along your jaw and down your throat. Your shirt was unbuttoned, and the sight of your chest was driving me crazy.¡±


    ¡°What do you usually think about? What do you imagine me doing to you?¡±


    His voice is deeper, and I swear he¡¯s starting to sound a little breathless. Knowing that he might be touching that big cock of his right now has me squirming in my bed.


    ¡°I¡¯ve thought about so many things. Your hands drive me crazy. Just watching you shift gears tonight had me wet. I think about your hands all over my body.¡±


    My hand starts to sneak under the waistband of my leggings, and when I feel how wet I am, a soft moan slips out.


    ¡°Are you touching yourself?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Good girl. Are you wet for me?¡±


    ¡°God, yes. I¡¯m so wet.¡±


    ¡°I wish you were here so I could bury my face in your pussy again. I want you to finger yourself while you tell me what else you think about.


    Can you do that for me?¡±


    I love how rough his voice sounds now, and I love that I¡¯m the one doing it to him. I slide my finger inside and start to fuck myself while I keep talking.


    ¡°I think about your cock a lot.¡±


    His sexyugh has my finger sliding up to rub my clit, sending shocks of pleasure all through me.


    ¡°I think about you fucking me. First, my mouth while you pull my hair, and then with you on top while your eyes never leave mine. Your body dwarfing mine as you pound into me again and again, hard and fast.¡±

 Chapter 13

    His deep groan has me sliding my finger in while the palm of my hand rubs my clit.Content provided by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I want you to take me from behind, rough with your hand wrapped around my neck holding me still. I want to give every part of myself to you, Tony, my virgin pussy and my ass.¡±


    ¡°Fuck!¡± he growls across the phone, and I swear I can hear the sounds of him jerking off.


    I¡¯m so close to cumming that I forget to be careful, and I let it all slip out, all my secret desires that I¡¯ve kept hidden for so long. ¡°I want to feel you inside me, skin on skin, nothing between us, and I want you to cum inside me. I want you to im all of me.¡±


    ¡°Cum with me,¡± he says in a voice that¡¯s barely hanging on.


    I grind against the palm of my hand and let the orgasm wash over me, gasping and moaning into the phone from the force of it. His deep groan joins me, and knowing he¡¯s cumming with me magnifies everything, and by the time Ie down, I¡¯m sweaty and shak, y and bshakyhless.


    His sexyugh brings me back to reality.


    ¡°Ah, my sweet girl, you¡¯re going to be the end of me.¡±


    I can¡¯t help butugh too. I can¡¯t believe I just had phone sex with my best friend¡¯s dad! I know I should probably feel ashamed, but I don¡¯t. I¡¯m just pissed that I have to wait until tomorrow to be with him.


    ¡°Thank you for telling me what you think about it.¡±


    His voice is more rxed now, and I¡¯d give anything to be in his arms right now.


    ¡°I think about all those things too, and a million others.¡±


    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe you want me like I want you,¡± I admit, sliding my hand out of my pants.


    ¡°Well, believe it, because I do. I¡¯ll make it my mission in life to make you understand how much I love and need you.¡±


    I smile at his words even though he can¡¯t see me.


    ¡°Now, be a good girl for me and lick your hand clean.¡±


    A soft moan escapes me at his words. I wonder if my body will always react to him like this. Bringing my fingers to my mouth, I slip them inside and run my tongue over and between my wet fingers. ¡°Are you tasting yourself?¡± ¡°Mm-hmm,¡± I moan.


    ¡°Good girl. You¡¯ve already made me hard again, Ashley. If you were here, I¡¯d fuck you until you couldn¡¯t walk.¡±


    My breath catches at his words and the images thate with them.


    ¡°Yes, please,¡± is all I can think to say, because I want that. I rant about that.


    His deep chuckle sends a shot of pleasure straight to my pussy.


    ¡°Soon, my sweet one. Now, get some sleep. You¡¯re going to need it.¡±


    After we¡¯ve said goodbye, Iy in my bed for a long time. I¡¯m too excited to sleep, but I eventually drift off because the next thing I know, the sun is streaming through the window and I¡¯m wide awake. I jump off the bed and race to the shower. I don¡¯t want to waste a second, but I do make sure I¡¯m shaved and smelling great before I get out and start getting ready.


    I pack as much of my stuff as I can without it looking obvious and tell my parents I¡¯m staying with Sara for a couple of days before she leaves for Italy. They don¡¯t need to know that Sara won¡¯t even be there. They¡¯ll figure it all out soon enough. I ask my brother to drive me over there and tell him he can have the car while I¡¯m gone. He¡¯s thrilled, and as soon as Tony texts me to say Sara has left, we get in the car and go.


    When we pull up to their gorgeous house, I thank my brother, grab my bags, and start walking. He shouts a bye and leaves without a backward nce. I try not to think about how many times he and his girlfriend are going to have sex in my car this weekend. It¡¯s probably best not to know. Besides, if things go how I want them to go, then he can just have the damn thing because I¡¯m not nning on leaving Tony¡¯s side ever again.


    I ring the doorbell, suddenly feeling very nervous as I wait for him to answer. All of that disappears, though, as soon as he opens the door and I see his beautiful smiling face. I drop my bags and wrap my arms around him. He kisses the top of my head and holds me close.


    ¡°That¡¯s thest time I ever want to hear you ring the doorbell. This is your home now.¡± He pauses and pulls me back so he can see me. ¡°If you want it to be.¡±


    I¡¯m so happy I can¡¯t speak, so I just grab onto his shoulders and pull him down so I can kiss him. I¡¯ve missed him more than I thought it was possible to miss anyone. Having his arms around me, his taste in my mouth, and smelling the amazing scent of him feels like home to me. Everything feels right when I¡¯m with him like my whole life has been leading me to this one ce, right here in his arms.


    I open my mouth wider for him, loving how he kisses me as if he owns me because he does. Body and soul. I¡¯m his forever.


    When he reaches down and grabs onto me, I jump up and wrap my legs around him, loving how fucking strong he feels. He makes me feel so damn tiny, and I love it. I tug the ck sweater he¡¯s wearing down a bit so I can kiss and lick the crook of his neck as he carries me to his room. He tastes so damn good. I want to taste all of him, and as soon as he sets me on his bed, I bring my hands down to his jeans and try to unbutton them. He stops my hands and smiles. ¡°Tell me what you want, little one.¡±

 Chapter 14

    ¡°I want to taste you. I want to see you, all of you,¡± I say, getting on my knees. He¡¯s standing at the end of the bed, watching me with a sexy, wicked smile on his face.


    In one quick motion, he pulls his sweater off and tosses it on the floor, and all I can do is sigh in appreciation when I see his bare chest and abs. He is absolute perfection. I want to run my fingers and tongue over all the peaks and grooves of his muscles. His smile grows when I reach my hands out and rest them on his hard pecs. Tracing the lines of his muscles, I let my fingers dance along his skin. He has the perfect amount of chest hair, and I let out a soft groan when I follow the path of it down his hard, sculpted abs to where it disappears down his pants.


    Running my finger under the waistband of his jeans, I lick my lips and say, ¡°I want to see everything.¡±


    With a grin, he unbuttons his pants and slides them off. His boxer briefs hug him like a second skin, and there¡¯s no hiding the massive erection he¡¯s sporting. Without me having to ask, he slips those off as well so he¡¯s standing before me naked and perfect.


    ¡°Holy shit,¡± I whisper when I see how big he is.


    His cock is hard and jutting out at me like it wants to im me right here and now, and the sight of it has my pussy aching to be filled.


    ¡°Do you see what you do to me?¡± he asks. His voice is low and sinfully sexy, and it makes me want to do wicked things with him.


    He watches me as I reach a shaky hand out to him. I hesitate for just a minute, letting my hand hover over his giant cock before slowly stroking my way up the length of him. He lets out a groan at my touch, and Iugh when his cock jumps beneath my fingers. It¡¯s as hungry and eager as I am.


    Leaning forward, I press my lips against his chest, kissing and licking my way along his sculpted pec. He runs his fingers through my hair, keeping me pressed close to him as I give him a soft bite before running my tongue over his hard nipple. The sound of his groans has me so wet I know I¡¯ve soaked through my pants by now.


    As I kiss my way down his abs, I feel him tugging on my shirt. I pull back enough for him to yank it off me before bringing my lips back to his skin. He makes quick work of my bra and soon his hands are cupping my tits while I lick and suck on his abs.


    The cock between us is impossible to ignore, but before I can put my mouth on him, he gently pushes me back on the bed and unbuttons my pants before stripping me of the rest of my clothing. When I¡¯m lying naked before him, he just stands and stares at me as if I¡¯m the most beautiful thing he¡¯s ever seen.


    He slowly leans forward so his body is covering mine, and when I feel his hard cock between us, I immediately arch my hips, trying to rub my pussy against him.


    I want this. I want all of this, but I remember how much I want to taste him, so I grab onto his shoulders and say, ¡°Wait, I want to taste you. I want you to fuck my mouth, Tony.¡±All rights ? N?velDrama.Org.


    He smiles and kisses me, nudging the head of his cock against my clit. I groan and dig my fingers into his shoulders.


    ¡°Let me give you this pleasure first,¡± he says. ¡°Don¡¯t deny me the chance to see you cum. I¡¯ve thought of little else since we talked.¡± How can I possibly argue with that?


    The head of his cock is already soaked in my juices, and he slides it faster over my swollen, aching clit. My body is on fire with need. I hug him tighter, loving the feel of my tits pressed against him, and slide my tongue into his waiting mouth. He kisses me like a man at the edge of his rope like he¡¯s going to lose control at any second, and knowing I¡¯m the one doing this to him is the best feeling in the world.


    ¡°Cum for me, sweet girl,¡± he whispers against my lips in a rush before plunging his tongue back into me.


    He rolls his hips, making the head of his cock do the most delicious things to my clit, and I cum with a force that takes my breath away. His mouth muffles my screams while he uses his cock to keep my orgasm going until I¡¯m shaking beneath him and gasping for air.


    I try to catch my breath while he kisses a trail down my neck. My need for him is so strong that I unconsciously move my body, trying to get him inside me.


    ¡°Not quite yet, sweetheart,¡± he whispers against my corbone. ¡°First, I want to fuck that precious mouth of yours.¡±


    A thrill rushes through me at his words, and I giggle when he rolls us over so I¡¯m now on top of him. Hisrge, strong hands roam my body before cupping my ass and digging me into him. It feels so good that I automatically sit up so I¡¯m straddling him and rock my hips against him. Looking down, I groan at the sight of his thick cock beneath me and slide my pussy up and down the length of him.


    He stops my hips, and the heat in his dark eyes has me nearly drunk with the power I seem to have over him. I fight against his grip, moving my hips a little more, and the wicked glint in his eyes has me wetting his dick even more.


    ¡°There¡¯s that naughty girl I knew was just below the surface. I wondered when you¡¯de out to y.¡±

 Chapter 15

    I¡¯m shocked by his words, but not near as shocked as when I feel a sharp smack on my ass cheek. Heughs at my wide-eyed expression and rubs my sore cheek.


    ¡°Naughty girls get punished,¡± he says with a wink.


    My ass tingles, but I notice it¡¯s also stirred up a desire inside me that I never knew I had. The pain from the smack just made his cock feel all the better, and the possessive, domineering way he¡¯d spanked me is doing all kinds of things to my body.


    ¡°I think I need to be punished some more,¡± I say, and I¡¯m rewarded with the world¡¯s sexiest grin.


    ¡°First you have to earn it, little one.¡± His hands slide up my stomach before cupping my tits. Using his thumb and index finger, he traps my nipples and gives them a hard pinch. My body immediately reacts, and I groan and throw my head back, rocking my hips even harder against him. ¡°But I¡¯m guessing you won¡¯t have a problem doing that,¡± he says with augh.


    When he lets my tits go, I slide my way down and he follows me so I¡¯m kneeling on the floor with him on the edge of the bed. I look up at his massive dick and wonder how in the hell I¡¯m going to do this, but I know I want to try. I want to be able to please him like this. I want to make him feel as good as he¡¯s made me feel.


    His cock is coated in my juices, and the sight of it makes me ridiculously happy. He¡¯s mine, and this is meying im to him. He¡¯ll never taste or smell like another woman again. I lower my head and run my tongue up the length of him, watching as his face goes dark with desire. He watches me lick every delicious inch of his cock before wrapping my lips around his head.


    He quickly runs his hands in my hair, fisting it and pulling it tight so he can see me as I slide my lips down his head. Running my tongue over him, I kiss and lick and suck on him, moaning at how damn good he tastes. I run my tongue over him as I slide him in a bit more. He already feels to feel in my mouth, and I¡¯m nowhere near close to having him al. Determined to do this, I grip his thighs and lower myself some more. I think I¡¯m doing okay until I gag around him, and then I just freeze not knowing what in the hell to do next.


    I look up at him with watery eyes, silently pleading for help. He runs his thumbs over my cheek and smiles.


    ¡°Need some help, little one?¡±


    I nod as best I can, making him smile even bigger. God, he¡¯s gorgeous. I¡¯m gagging around his thick cock, and all I can think about is how he¡¯s the most beautiful man I¡¯ve ever seen. He tightens his grip on my hair with one hand and slides his other one down so it¡¯s securely around my neck. The strength in his hands has me so wet I¡¯m dripping down my thighs.


    With a firm grasp around me, he tells me to rx as he slides me down a bit further. I try to rx but in seconds I¡¯m gagging again. I feel like an utter failure, and this time my eyes aren¡¯t watering just from gagging.


    ¡°Ah, my sweet one, don¡¯t cry,¡± he says, releasing my neck so he can brush away the tears before grabbing onto me again. ¡°Slow, steady breaths.¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    I do as he says until I¡¯m calm enough for the tears to stop.


    ¡°We just need to get your mind thinking about something else. Finger yourself for me,¡± he says, running his thumb along my neck.


    I don¡¯t have to be asked twice. When he sees how quickly I slide a finger into myself, heughs and says, ¡°My perfect girl, always so eager to cum.¡±


    I flick my tongue against his cock, making him smile down at me.


    ¡°Just think about how good it feels. Let me take care of the rest.¡±


    And so I do. I¡¯m so fucking wet, and the sounds of me fucking myself fill the room, making his breathing turn heavier and his hands tighter. Soon, all I can think about is how fucking good it feels. My mouth rxes enough for him to slide me further down, and instead of gagging and fighting his thickness, I just find myself wanting more. I tongue and suck on his cock as I rub my clit harder and faster.


    By the time I feel my lips hit bottom, I¡¯m whimpering against him, so close to cumming. He pulls me back up by my hair, and the pain on my scalp is the best kind of pain. It mingles with the pleasure, intensifying it in a way that I never knew it could. He moves me faster, fucking my mouth in a steady rhythm that soon has him groaning. I know he¡¯s close, and I¡¯m trying my best to wait for him, but I¡¯m almost there, and I can¡¯t bring myself to stop.


    My orgasm ms into me, making me feel like I¡¯m exploding into a million pieces as I suck his cock harder, forcing him to cum with me. I scream around his cock as he ms into me, burying his cock in my throat with a deep growl seconds before I feel the wet heat of him hit me. I swallow everything he gives me, never wanting it to end.


    His hands loosen their grip, and he gently massages my scalp as I continue to suck and kiss his now-spentock. When I bring my wet hand back to his thigh, he immediately grabs it. I feel his tongue slide along my skin. We lick each other clean, and when he gives my hand onest kiss before setting it back down, I lift my head and smile at him.


    He rubs his fingers over my cock-swollen lips and smiles back.


    ¡°My perfect girl,¡± he says, and his deep voice rolls over me in the best way possible. ¡°Your lips should always be swollen from taking my cock.¡±


    When he reaches down to lift me I happily let him. I¡¯m done waiting. I need him to im me right now.

 Chapter 16

    MR. MANCINI


    I¡¯ve waited long enough to im her sweet, young body, and I can¡¯t wait any longer. She crawls into myp and feel her wet


    pussy on my lower abs is enough to get my cock springing back to life.


    I roll us over, positioning my body on top of hers, loving the feel of her small body beneath mine and the way she immediately wraps her arms and legs around me. She opens her mouth for me, and I take my time sucking and nibbling on her swollen lips before sliding my tongue in to meet hers.


    Her hands cup my face, fingers stroking my cheek and ears as she whimpers against my mouth and begs me to fuck her with her body. She arches against me, driving me wild. My cock is already hard as a rock again, and I very carefully nudge the opening of her pussy.


    ¡°Are you sure this is what you want,¡± I ask, pulling back so I can see her.


    ¡°Yes,¡± she pleads. ¡°Please fuck me, Tony. Make me yours forever. I can¡¯t wait any longer.¡±


    I want nothing more than to ram my cock into her right now, but I know this is going to be painful enough for her, and I don¡¯t want to make it worse. Not this time at least.


    Keeping my eyes locked on hers, I slowly slide the head of my cock into her, freezing when I see her wince and feel her body tense. Her pussy has me in a death grip, and I¡¯ll never be able to fit all if she doesn¡¯t rx for me. I manage to slide in another inch but stop when I see her eyes water and a couple of tears slip out.


    ¡°My sweet girl,¡± I say, kissing and licking her tears away. ¡°Do you want me to stop?¡±


    ¡°No! Never!¡± she yells, clutching me tightly to her.


    I smile down at her and kiss her gently. ¡°I need you to rx. Can you do that for me?¡¯ ¡°I¡¯ll try,¡± she says.


    She¡¯s still looking like she¡¯s feeling way too much pain and not enough pleasure, and I¡¯m determined to fix that with an ickness. Iankiss my way down her neck and chest. I roll my tongue over her hard nipple before sucking her into my mouth. Teasing her with my teeth and tongue until I feel her body rx enough for me to slide in a bit deeper. She immediately gasps and tightens up again, but it¡¯s a start.


    Lifting myself  I grab onto her hips, keeping her locked in ce. The sight of my cock halfway buried in her bald little pussy is enough to send me over the edge, but there¡¯s no way I¡¯m going to let that happen. I slowly slide out of her, groaning at the sight of her virginal blood covering the head of my cock, before pushing into her once more.


    I continue to fuck her with half my dick while I bring my thumb to her clit. She moans when I start to rub her in firm, slow circles, and it doesn¡¯t take long before she¡¯s trying to get more of my cock. I make her wait and start to rub her clit faster. Her hands reach down to cup her own, and I watch amazed as she begins to y with her owppnipplesnching and squeezing them as she arches her hips for more.


    Her pussy rxes enough for me to slide in another couple of inches. She¡¯s still tight, but it¡¯s no longer painfully tight. I keep fucking her slowly and speed my thumb up. Her moans are getting louder, and when she pinches her nipples hard and screams my name, I ram my cock into her, hitting boher them with a groan of my own.


    I fuck her faster, gripping her hips tightly as she cums around my cock. She¡¯s so beautiful I can¡¯t take my eyes off her. She writhes and moans and massages her tits as pleasure rips over her. When her hands start to go limp and she gives me azy smile, I lean down and kiss her hard, needing as much of me inside her as possible.


    ¡°Your pussy is just as perfect as you are, my sweet girl,¡± I whisper against her lips.


    She smiles and says, ¡°Your cock is pretty damn perfect too.¡±


    Iugh and pull back before mming myself into her in one hard thrust that makes her gasp and clutch my shoulders.


    ¡°I¡¯m d you think so because I¡¯m never going to stop fucking you.¡± ¡°You better not,¡± she says, pulling me in for another kiss.


    The taste and feel of her has me fucking her harder, and when I pull back, I tell her in a breathless growl, ¡°Turn over.¡±


    She hurries up and rolls over, and before she¡¯s even fully turned, I¡¯m ramming my cock back into her. She¡¯sying on her stomach as I fuck her from behind. The feel of her ass against me is driving me crazy, and when I start to kiss and lick along her spine, she arches her ass up to me in a seductive invitation that I can¡¯t ignore.


    Leaning back, I grip her hips and hike her ass up so she¡¯s on her knees. She keeps her head on the bed, fisting the bedsheets as I start to fuck her hard and fast. I smack her ass, nearly cumming when I see the delicious way it bounces. I spank her again just so I can watch it. She moans and grips the bedding tighter.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org.


    I slow down and run a finger along where we¡¯re joined,thering it in our juices. She lets out a startled yelp when I press my wet finger against her ass, rolling the pad of my finger along her sensitive asshole.


    ¡°Do you like that?¡± I ask, pressing against her harder but not enough to prate.


    ¡°God, yes,¡± she moans into the bed.


    ¡°Tell me what you want?¡± I roll the pad of my finger in a circle, teasing her.


    She moans as I press harder into her before saying in a ragged voice, ¡°I want you to finger fuck my ass, Tony!¡±


    I smile at my girl¡¯s filthy mouth and give her another spanking when she pushes against me trying to force my finger into her.


    ¡°Patience, sweet girl,¡± I say, pressing the tip of my finger against her tight little virgin ass.

 Chapter 17

    I give another hard thrust of my cock and slide the tip of my finger in. Her little ass mps down on me, and I groan at how tight and perfect every part of her is. I can¡¯t take my eyes off her ass as I slide my finger into her. When I¡¯m knuckle deep, she let out a muffled ¡°fuck!¡± and I couldn¡¯t agree more.


    Restraint leaves me as I start to fuck both her holes fast and hard, never wanting it to end and knowing that I¡¯ll never be able to get enough of her. Everything else disappears except the two of us and our bodies forged together.


    Her body tenses as she screams my name, but I don¡¯t let up. I keep fucking her, relentlessly mming into her until I hear her cumming again. Her pussy spasms around me until I can no longer resist and I let her push me over the edge.


    Pleasure rips through me, so powerful it¡¯s blinding as my cock empties deep inside her pussy. Her tight little cunt milks me of everything I have until I¡¯mpletely spent. I slide my finger out of her ass, and wrap my arms around her, pulling her to me so we¡¯re both on our sides. Her body is cradled against mine, back to chest, and I hold her shaking, sweaty body as tightly against me as I can.


    I brush back her hair and kiss her gently.


    ¡°I love you,¡± I whisper against her cheek. ¡°I¡¯ll always love you.¡±


    ¡°I love you too,¡± she says, grabbing onto my forearm and pressing me tighter against her.


    ¡°My perfect, sweet girl.¡± I kiss and nibble on her ear, making my way down her shoulder. ¡°Rest up, little one, because I¡¯m nowhere near close to being done with you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m counting on it,¡± she says with augh, wiggling her ass against me.


    I smile against her shoulder and give it a yful bite, already thinking of all the different ways I¡¯m going to fuck her.


    EPILOGUE


    Ashley


    I still feel like I need to pinch myself. It¡¯s been a year since our first night together, and I still feel like I¡¯m living a dream. It took a while for my parents and Sara to ept that Tony and I were in love, but they eventually did, and we were married shortly after. Everyone was thrilled when we told them I was pregnant. Our son was born nine months after Tony fully imed me, and we just celebrated his first birthday.


    He¡¯s the sweetest little boy ever, and I love hearing Tony speak to him in Italian. I¡¯m trying my best to learn it. Every time I say something, Tony gets the sweetest look on his face and tells me my ent is adorable. I¡¯m pretty sure it¡¯s horrible, but it just makes me love him all the more if that¡¯s even possible. My heart already feels like it¡¯s going to burst with all the love I feel for our little family.


    When I go to check on our son, Tony is softly singing an Italian luby to him as he rocks him in the rocking chair he bought for me when we found out I was pregnant. He gives me a sexy wink and stands up before gentlyying him down for his nap. I love watching him take care of our son. He¡¯s always sexy no matter what he does, but seeing him with our son is the sexiest thing in the world to me.


    He pats his back for a second, making sure he¡¯s fully asleep before turning on the baby monitor and sneaking out the door with me. Once we¡¯re in the hallway, he doesn¡¯t waste a second. He picks me up and holds me tightly against him, and I dly wrap my arms and legs around him, nuzzling my face in his neck.


    ¡°It¡¯s been too long since I¡¯ve been inside you,¡± he murmurs against my skin.


    Iugh and kiss his neck.


    ¡°You took me this morning right after we woke up,¡± I remind him.


    His kisses a line along my shoulder. ¡°That was hours ago. Too long,¡± he says, shutting the bedroom door behind us.


    He presses me against the wall and kisses me deeply. I groan at the feel and taste of him.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I need to feel your perfect pussy around me.¡±


    I hear a zipper as he undoes his pants freeing that big, thick cock of his. He hikes my dress up and smiles when he finds nothing but my bare ass and pussy.


    ¡°My sweet, perfect girl. I love how you¡¯re always so ready for me.¡± I groan when he presses the head of his cock against me.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to im that womb again,¡± he says with a growl.


    I grin and hover my lips close to his. ¡°It¡¯s about damn time.¡±


    Heughs before kissing me hard, and then he ms into me and everything else fades away except pleasure and Tony. I cling to him as he fucks me, letting him im me again and again.

 Chapter 18

    Note: Alright I hope that my first teaser was appreciated and yes, this is aption of age-gap erotic romance.


    Now the actual book begins. Happy reading everyone.


    LAINE


    My stupid pumps aren¡¯t cut out for this weather. Cold water squelches between my toes and my breath is misty, wet hair like frozen straw against my cheeks. I can hardly see through the rain.


    Dam, n my birthday for being sote in November.


    Damn me for not thinking harder about my wardrobe choices.


    I wasn¡¯t nning on being out thiste, eighteenth birthday or not. I¡¯m dressed for a quick coffee on a cloudy afternoon, not for clubbing through a stormy evening  leggings and a strappy cami under a fluffy teal cardigan that holds more rain than it keeps out. This stupid scenario is all Kelly Anne¡¯s fault, insisting it wouldn¡¯t be a proper birthday celebration unless it involved getting trashed in some sleazy club in the backstreets of Brighton. We¡¯ll have a great time, she said, just a bus ride and a couple of drinks, she said. Who knows, you may even meet someone hot and finally ditch the V card, she said.


    I have no intention of trading my virgin status for a drunken fumble in a back alley with some random who barely knows my name.


    And now she¡¯s bailed on me, typical Kelly Anne style. Last I saw of her she was lip-locked with some vest-top-d hipster with thick-rimmed sses. Then she was gone, off in a puff of tequ-scented pheromones for some bump and grind at hipster-guy¡¯s pad, no doubt. Regr, except she still has my pho, ne, purse, and keys in her handbag for safekeeping.


    My stupid fault for believing for one single second she¡¯d take care of them. Nothing is safe with Kelly Anne after a couple of tequs, despite what she¡¯ll have you believe.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    I root through my sopping pockets, nothing there but a couple of soggy cigarette papers.


    Idiot, I¡¯m such an idiot.


    I have no real n for getting home to Newhaven. It¡¯s the best part of a ten-mile hike, and the odds of making it back without either sumbing to hypothermia or stumbling into the sea are slim to nil. I¡¯m sure I should be more freaked out than I am, but I feel strangely nonchIt¡¯sy, it¡¯s more numb than nonchnt. Maybe I¡¯ve had a few too many tequs myself, or maybe it¡¯s the sorry knowledge that I have nobody who cares enorealizeI¡¯ve been strandedstrandstranded stranded out a penny in my pocket.


    The fact that Kelly Anne is my best friend and the only real person who gave a shit about my birthday says it all. Even if I do make it home tonight, there¡¯ll be nobody there. Mum¡¯s away again, off in France with hertest conquest. Denny, he¡¯s called. He works over there, doing up properties for rich folk, giving Mum the illusion that she¡¯s one of them, and that¡¯s all she¡¯s ever wanted. That and a man who¡¯ll stick with her longer than it takes to shoot his load. So far so good with Denny, six months and going strong. At least she remembered my birthday enough to send a text this year.


    I think I¡¯m headingseafrontsea front, I hope I¡¯m headingseafrontsea front. They have bars there that stay open all night, maybe I can find somewhere to hang out until morning, somewhere vaguely warm to pass the time until I figure something out  except I don¡¯thaveethat iss, thatthat¡¯sly Anne¡¯s handbag, too. Even if I had any money for a drink, nobletever let me buy one without ID. I still get half-fare on public transport, that¡¯s how young I look. Kelly Anne says it¡¯s because I¡¯m so blonde. You look like one of those creepy porcin dolls, she says, but prettier. I guess that¡¯s supposed to be apliment.


    Maybe I should try to find a police station, exin my sorry situation, and hope they¡¯ll let me stay until morning. Maybe I could face the ten-mile hike home when the sunes up if it ever stops raining. Maybe I could find a way to break in at home, or I could head over to Kelly Anne¡¯s and wait for her to resurface, give her a piece of my mind for leaving me up shit creek birthday without so much loose change to my name.


    Maybe her parents will be home, maybe they¡¯ll let me dry off and wait it out in her bedroom.


    My numb feet ssh through a puddle and it turns out they aren¡¯t as numb as I thought. My teeth are chamy ttering, arms folded tight, my wet cardigan so cold against my skin that it feels like an ice bath. Everything seems darker here. I can¡¯t hear any distant bass from nearby clubs, just the asional drone of a car and the drumming of the rain. The streets are narrow, a rat run of back alleys, wheeled bins piled high with crap. It smells rancid, and even though the dim lighting and the rain make it damned near impossible to get my bearings, I¡¯m sure this isn¡¯t the waseafrontsea front. I haven¡¯t got a clue where I am or where the hell I¡¯m going.


    Shit, shit, and more shit.


    For the first time through this sorry mess, I feel fear creeping up my spine. I¡¯m out of my depth, and the tequ is wearing off fast. Way too fast.


    My nerves are chattering worse than my teeth. I would kill for a cigarette, just to take the edge off, and as I turn the corner I may be in luck. A solitary figure is propped in a shadowy doorway. He¡¯s wearing a hoodie, so I can hardly see his face, not that I¡¯m looking. I¡¯m far too focused on the glow of the cigarette between his fingers.


    ¡°Hey,¡± I say, smoothing back the wet hair from my face. ¡°Could you spare me a smoke?¡±

 Chapter 19

    He stares at me, I can feel it, but I can¡¯t see his eyes in the shadows. He¡¯s big, much bigger than me. He smells of weed and stale body spray mixed with sweat, but right now none of that matters.


    Iunch into a monologue, telling him my name¡¯s Laine, and how I was out with a stupid friend who took my phone and keys with her when she left. I tell him it¡¯s my birthday, that I¡¯m having the crappiest night of my life and he¡¯d make it just a little bit better if he¡¯d please give me a cigarealizeI realize how stupid I sound, how weak my voice is. How weak I feel.


    How alone I feel.


    But I¡¯ve felt alone for longer than I can remember, this shit¡¯s nothing new.


    He hands me the cigarette from his fingers, and even though it makes me feel a bit icky, I take it from him.


    ¡°Thanks.¡±


    ¡°Past your bedtime from the look of you,¡± he grunts. His voice is thick and raspy, and it makes me feel uneasy.


    I press myself against the wall, trying to hide from the downpour and protect the cigarette.


    ¡°Everyone says that.¡± I take a long drag. ¡°I¡¯m eighteen. Perfectly legal, at least from today. Yesterday. It¡¯s not even my birthday anymore. Talk about celebrating in style, things can only get better, right?¡±


    My stupid giggle anhumorthumoseemseem to go right over his head.


    He grunts again. Perfectly legal. I regret my choice of words.


    I keep puffing away, looking at the floor, concentrating on nothing but the wee rush of nicotine.


    ¡°All alone, then?¡± I can hear the sneer in his tone. He has an ent, a hint of cockney. It¡¯s gruff and deep andced with the underbelly of this realize to realize the fine hairs on the back of my neck are standing up and it¡¯s not from etherealizes realize I¡¯m in a dark street with nobody around besides a man who makes me feel like a mouse in a trap.


    I force a smile, gesturing aimlessly at the road ahead. ¡°My friend will be along for me soon,¡± I lie. ¡°She¡¯sing back, such a ditz.¡±


    Heughs. ¡°You just said she¡¯d bailed. Make your mind up.¡±


    ¡°Figure of speech,¡± I lie again. ¡°She¡¯ll be back¡­ anytime now¡­¡± ¡°Sure she will.¡± He takes a step towards me and I take a shuffle back.


    ¡°You can drop the lost little girl shit.¡±


    ¡°Sorry?¡± I keep my smile bright, even though my heart is thumping like a bastard.


    ¡°How much for the works?¡± I feel his eyes on me, all over me. He takes another step my way. ¡°How much for a go on that cute little ass? Don¡¯t be shy now.¡±


    ¡°But I¡¯m not¡­¡± I drop the cigarette. ¡°I¡¯m not a¡­¡± My eyes are wide, but I still can¡¯t see his. ¡°My friend¡¯sing right now¡­ she¡¯s on her way¡­¡±


    He nudges the door behind him, and the stench of weed hits me. ¡°Come up, get warm. I¡¯ve got weed, or stronger shit, whatever you want. You¡¯d like that, right? I bet you ain¡¯t so fucking innocent as you look.¡± I hear the smirk in his voice.


    I shake my head. ¡°She¡¯ll be here soon, really not¡­ I shouldn¡¯t be here¡­¡±


    ¡°I bet you make a fucking fortune with that nice little girl shit.¡±Content provided by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I¡¯m not ying¡­¡± I move away from him, but back into one of the wheeled bins. Cardboard boxes fall to the floor and make me jump.


    Heughs louder. ¡°Come on, baby girl, don¡¯t be such a fucking tease.¡± His voice is leery, drunk. ¡°Bet you sound real fucking nice when you¡¯ve got a nice hard cock in your snatch.¡±


    My back is pressed tight against the bin, and he¡¯s close, too close. His breath is in my face. It stinks. He stinks. He smells musty and rank, Mum¡¯s one of mMum¡¯sold boyfriends¡­ the window cleaner with the ck tooth¡­ the one who slipped his hand between my legs when we were watching Disney and never came over again¡­


    ¡°You want this¡­ I want this¡­¡± His horribleugh is right in my ear. I feel his lips on me. ¡°You¡¯ve got me all worked up, baby girl¡­ you owe me for the smoke¡­ you owe me now¡­ what are you gonna do about it?¡±


    I look around, trying to catch sight of an exit, but there isn¡¯t one. He¡¯s too close, too big, and even if I made a break for it, where would I go?


    ¡°Don¡¯t¡­¡± I say. ¡°Please¡­¡±


    ¡°Gonna warm you right up, make it feel real ice, if you¡¯re a good girl.¡±


    My chest feels tight, cold air hissing in my throat as I struggle to gulp it in. My heart is racing, but I feel disconnected, as though I¡¯m not here, as though this is happening to someone else. I feel his breath on my neck, the warmth of his fingers as they slip inside my cardigan. I feel like I should be fighting, kicking and sc, and wing at his face, but I¡¯m so numb.


    So scared.


    His thumb brushes my nipple and it shocks like electric.


    ¡°Knew you fucking wanted it,¡± he grunts.


    A strange sense of detachment washes over me, a sense of being sucked into a pit, where there is nothing, where everything is easy, where I can hide in the quiet ce in my mind and pretend this is not me. It¡¯s his tongue against my ear that snaps me back to myself. It feels wet and hot.


    ¡°No,¡± I say, and my voice sounds stronger this time. I¡¯m wriggling, trying to bring my legs up, squirming away from his mouth.


    ¡°Chill the fuck out,¡± he hisses, and my heart pounds in my ears.


    The rumble of cars at the top of the street spurs me on, and Ish outmatching him hard across the face. He swears and stumbles, touching his cheek for just long enough for me to kick out and make a run for it.


    ¡°HEY!¡± he calls. ¡°GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!¡±


    I hear his footsteps in the puddles behind me, the air in my lungs burning as my numb feet pound the street. I can feel him behind me but I daren¡¯t look back, just keep focused on the light at the top of the street, at the sound of a car heading closer. I see the headlights, blurry through the rain, and the danger behind me drives me straight into the road. I¡¯m waving, jumping ng, and throwing my arms above my head as I hear the screechtiresyres. I close my eyes, a rabbit caught in the headlights.


    I hear a car door mming.


    I jump a mile as a hand grips my elbow.

 Chapter 20

    NICK


    THE GIRL JOLTS to life as I grip her arm, big blue eyes staring up at mine,shes dripping. Her mouth is open, just a little. Her breath is misty.


    She¡¯s young.


    She¡¯s pretty.


    And she¡¯s scared. Really fucking scared.


    Footsteps pound the ground to my right, and I see him, the piece of shit waster.


    The girl flinches, tugs away, but I keep a grip on her, cing myself between her fragile little body and the dickhead chasing her.


    He¡¯s wasted. Buzzing with some shit. Speed probably.


    ¡°Beat it,¡± I say. ¡°Fuck off back to where you came from.¡±


    He shrugs. ¡°Just hanging with little Laine, bro. Ain¡¯t no problem here.


    C¡¯mon, little girl.¡±


    Hell will freeze over before she goes anywhere with this piece of shit.


    I smile at the loser. ¡°I¡¯m not your bro. Do yourself a favor and run the fuck along before there is a fucking problem here.¡±


    He looks me up and down, and even through the rain he clocks the cut of my suit. His eyes flick to the Mercedes, to the keys still clearly in the ignition.


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t try it,¡± I say. I take a step towards him, shoulders back and easy. I could take him and I know it. He¡¯s just another loser, another dreg from the cesspit of life, and I¡¯ve seen plenty of those in my lifetime.


    I re at him, and beckon him forward, perfectly willing to put this piece of shit on the ground where he deserves, but he¡¯s backing away before I utter another word, druggie feet tripping over each other.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t mean nothing by it. Don¡¯t even know her¡­ never met her¡­¡±


    I don¡¯t bother watching him retreat. I¡¯ve no need. Dickheads like him don¡¯t bother men like me.


    I pull the girl closer, and she seems to snap back to herself. Her cardigan is sodden, hanging from her shoulders, and she¡¯s shivering.


    ¡°Laine?¡± I ask. ¡°I¡¯m Nick. Nick Lynch. You¡¯re safe now. Where do you need to go?¡±


    ¡°Newhaven¡­¡± she says, and her voice is as pretty as she is. ¡°My friend¡­ she pulled some guy¡­ she has my keys, my money¡­¡±


    ¡°And where is your friend now?¡±


    She shakes her head. ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll take you home,¡± I say, and my words are simple and obvious. I¡¯m surprised when she follows me to the passenger door of the Merc and slips into the seat without hesitation, but she seems dazed somehow. Naive, maybe. Maybe that¡¯s what got her into this mess in the first ce. I suspect as much.


    Young, naive, and vulnerable.


    No way should she be out alone thiste at night. No way should she be here, in this shithole part of Brighton. I feel the anger, at some unknown parents who should be worried sick, parents who should have taught her more fucking sense.


    A father who should be driving around looking for his daughter, who should be protecting her from pieces of shit like that fucking waster back there.


    I ignore the twitch in my jaw. Push aside that feeling.


    She needs a ride home. Just a ride home.


    She¡¯s not my problem, and she doesn¡¯t want to be.


    I close the door after her and she buckles up oblivious. She¡¯s naive.


    Naive.


    But tonight she¡¯s safe. With me.


    I¡¯ll keep her safe until I get her home.


    She¡¯s staring right at me as I take the driver¡¯s side, still shivering, but she doesn¡¯t look so scared now.


    I wait until the mist clears from the windscreen. The wipers give a rhythmic thump from the other side of the ss.


    ¡°I can¡¯t get in at home,¡± she says quietly. ¡°Not without my key¡­¡±


    ¡°What about your parents?¡±


    She looks at the floor. ¡°My mum¡¯s away.¡±


    ¡°And your dad?¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have one.¡±


    ¡°Your mum left you all alone?¡± She nods. ¡°She normally does.¡± My gut pangs. No dad.


    I keep my voice steady. Warm and calm. ¡°I can give you cash for a hotel. Take you wherever you need to go. Maybe a rtive? An aunt or uncle? Neighbour?¡±


    She¡¯s shaking her head. ¡°I don¡¯t have¡­ anyone¡­¡±


    I feel the ache in my gut, stronger now. Me neither.


    ¡°You could call your phone, maybe she¡¯ll answer?¡±


    She looks so embarrassed, shaking her head. ¡°I turned it off¡­ to save battery¡­ it hardly had any battery¡­¡± ¡°Do you know your friend¡¯s number?¡± Another shake of the head.


    ¡°How about Facebook? Social media?¡±


    Her voice is so quiet. ¡°Kelly Anne is um¡­ she won¡¯t¡­ she¡¯s with a guy, drunk¡­¡± She sighs. ¡°She won¡¯t even give me a second thought¡­ not tonight¡­¡±


    Isn¡¯t that just the truth of it?


    I put the car into gear. ¡°Then you¡¯d better stay with me until morning.¡± She doesn¡¯t even attempt to argue as I pull away.


    LAINE


    I DON¡¯T KNOW where we¡¯re going. I don¡¯t know why I¡¯m not scared. My breath is steady now, and the air in the car is warm enough that my wet clothes don¡¯t feel so bad. My nerves are still on edge, I can feel them beneath the relief. The relief that I got away.


    I stare at Nick, trying to figure out the guy who grabbed me in the rain and saved me. He saved me.


    How could I ever be scared of a man who saved me?


    He seems strong, Nick. He seems like the kind of man who could chase monsters away. His jaw is hard, and his nose looks like a Roman carving, and his hair is long enough to curl as it dries. He has heavy brows and serious eyes. He seems serious.


    I feel safer than I¡¯ve felt in a long, long time. Maybe I¡¯m still drunk on tequ after all.


    I feel so small and he feels so big.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you want to know where we¡¯re going?¡± he asks. His voice is nice. Deep. Strong, like the rest of him.


    ¡°Not really,¡± I say. ¡°Is it far?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    I shrug. ¡°I don¡¯t know my way around. I wouldn¡¯t know where we were if you told me, so it doesn¡¯t matter, does it?¡± ¡°I guess not, Laine, no.¡± I can¡¯t stop staring at him.


    ¡°Your friend doesn¡¯t sound like much of a friend.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s a crappy friend when she¡¯s drunk.¡±


    ¡°That makes her a crappy friend, full stop.¡± He nces in my direction.


    ¡°A friend like that isn¡¯t worth having, Laine.¡±

 Chapter 21

    And he¡¯s right. I know he¡¯s right. But she¡¯s the only one I have. I don¡¯t want to tell him that, but I think he probably knows. He looks like henowsknowswsof things. He¡¯s a proper man. A serious man. A man who knows his way around the world.


    ¡°It¡¯s my birthday,¡± I say. ¡°My eighteenth. Yesterday. I didn¡¯t even want to go out.¡±


    ¡°Eighteenth?¡± There¡¯s a surprise in his voice. I hear that surprise from people all the time.


    ¡°Yeah, my eighteenth.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve had much better birthday parties than this one.¡±


    But I haven¡¯t. They¡¯re normally shit. I don¡¯t want to tell him that either.


    He turns into a petrol station and asks if I want anything. I don¡¯t.


    He tells me to wait right there. I do.


    I lose sight of him inside, and the nerves flutter in my belly. I feel like a kid again, a stupid kid. Maybe it¡¯s because I¡¯m acting like one, buckled in tight in some stranger¡¯s car, trusting everything will be alright because he saw off some guy who was about to steal my V card in exchange for a crappy half-smoked cigarette.


    That¡¯s what stupid kids do, right?


    Stupid kids do stupid things.


    I see him pay the cashier, I see him smile at her. He has a nice smile, the kind of smile that makes me feel like a silly girl with a crush. I¡¯m sure I¡¯d be crushing on a guy like Nick if I wasn¡¯t in such a ridiculously crap situation right now. The cashier¡¯s smiling right back, and I imagine he gets that a lot. You would if you were a guy who looked like him.


    I pretend to be fiddling with my cardigan as hees back to the car. He puts some bags in the back and slips back in without a word. I don¡¯t try to make conversation. I don¡¯t try to justify my stupid birthday decision-making processes.


    We head out of Brighton. The roads turn to streets, and streets turn tones, and we¡¯re at big wooden gates at the foot of an incline. They open as the car pulls up to them, and slides right to the side to let us pass. Neat. The driveway is graveled and opens up into a parking area, one of those nice ones where the gravel crunches under your feet. I bet it¡¯s that fancy pink stuff in the light.


    His house is big. Big.


    Nichs Lynch must be rich. I mean he¡¯s rich. The car. But I wasn¡¯t thinking straight. I wasn¡¯t thinking straight enough to think about it.


    He turns off the ignition and gets out. Opens my door for me.


    ¡°Home sweet home,¡± he says. ¡°I¡¯ll take you to Newhaven in the morning, we¡¯ll sort things out, Laine, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    I nod and climb out. The gravel is the crunchy type, just like I thought. He grabs the bags from the back, and I look at the house. It¡¯s a barn conversion. Big windows line the lower floor. He locks the car and leads me to the front entrance. It¡¯s big and heavy with a wrought iron knocker. It creaks as he swings it open. I always wanted one of those when I was little  a big door knocker that would make a big thumping sound.


    I¡¯d have loved a house like this.Content provided by N?velDrama.Org.


    A proper home for a proper family.


    I wonder if he has a family.


    He gestures to me inside and I feel awkward, my toes still squelchy from the rain. My pumps are soaked. I ditch them and go barefoot, and he doesn¡¯t seem to care that my hair is dripping down my back and onto his posh wooden floor. He leads the way through to a kitchen. It¡¯s huge and beamed and has one of those fancy range cookers, and a granite ind, too. ¡°What would you like to drink, Laine?¡± ¡°Just water, please.¡± My voice sounds weak.


    He takes a bottle from the fridge and pours it into the toss. The nice mineral stuff. His fingers touch mine as he hands it over, and they are warm. Big.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I say. ¡°For rescuing me. That guy¡­ he was¡­¡±


    ¡°A waste of life. Scum.¡±


    I take a breath. ¡°I¡¯m such aplete idiot. Like Kelly Anne would ever stick around after a couple of tequs.¡± Iugh but it sounds pathetic.


    ¡°What a dufus I am.¡±


    ¡°She left you on your birthday. She¡¯s the dufus, Laine.¡±


    He slips off his coat, and I realize how tailored it is. He has a shirt on, white. It fits him so perfectly, like those people you see in expensive watch adverts. He could be one of those.


    He rustles in one of the bags and pulls out a bunch of flowers, and a cream cake, too. I watch mute. Like a fool. He digs around in a drawer and turns his back to me to block my view.


    When he turns back around there is one of those little striped birthday candles stuck in the icing. It¡¯s lit, this tiny little me flickering away.


    I don¡¯t know why it makes me want to cry.


    His eyes are so dark. It wasn¡¯t just the shadows in the car. He approaches and I¡¯m not even watching the candle, I¡¯m watching him.


    ¡°Happy birthday, Laine. Sorry, it¡¯s the best I could do. They didn¡¯t have much of a birthday selection at the petrol station.¡±


    The flowers are carnations. Red ones. The cake is chocte. An eir with that thick dark icing I love best.


    It¡¯s the best birthday cake I¡¯ve ever had. The thought pricks at my eyes and my throat feels scratchy. Ridiculous. I¡¯m ridiculous.


    Drunk, and high on adrenaline, and tired, and scared, and happy.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I say, like that could ever cut it.


    But it does. It does cut it. He smiles like it¡¯s enough.


    ¡°Make a wish,¡± he says.


    And I do.


    It¡¯s a stupid wish.


    A crazy wish.


    A wish I¡¯ve been making every year for as long as I can remember.


    I wish, I wish upon a star. I wish for my daddy, wherever you are.


    I don¡¯t know where my daddy is. I wouldn¡¯t even know him if I saw him.


    But right now, the guy who rescued me from the rain, the guy with the dark eyes, the smattering of grey hair at his temples, and the shirt that looks like it came from an expensive watch advert. Right now, I wish this guy could be my daddy.

 Chapter 22

    NICK


    THE MACULINEA ARION is thergest and rarest of the blue English butterflies. Little, blue-eyed Laine reminds me of one ¨C fragile and delicate and inviting predators, with no idea of its beauty.


    I collect butterflies.


    Not in a put-the-lotion-in-the-basket style, just because I find them both fascinating and beautiful.


    Unfortunately, they¡¯re usually dead by the time I¡¯m able to admire them now. Long gone are long summer days in the meadow, armed with a butterfly and a spotter guide to British wildlife.


    Laine¡¯s breath is a wisp, her eyes sparkling for a moment as she makes her birthday wish.


    I want to ask what a girl like Laine wishes for, but I don¡¯t.


    ¡°You have a beautiful house,¡± she says, and the color is back in her cheeks.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    She asks me if I want to share her cake with her. I tell her it¡¯s all for her. She giggles as she gets cream down her chin, and I smile andugh along with her, even though it makes my dick twitch.


    It shouldn¡¯t, but it does.


    She tells me she¡¯s a messy eater. Clumsy.


    She says it¡¯s because she¡¯s one of those jittery people. Anxious.


    I believe her.


    It makes me want to grip her dithery fingers around my cock and jerk into her palm until Ie.


    It shouldn¡¯t, but it does.


    I dig out a fluffy pink robe for her and tell her it¡¯s my daughter¡¯s. I take her to the bathroom and stand outside the door while she changes. She gives me her wet clothes in return, ready for the washer, and my pulse quickens at the sight of the bunch of little white knickers she¡¯s given me on the top of the bundle.


    The robe dwarves her when shees out onto thending, skinny little legs so dainty underneath the swathes of pink toweling. Her hair is drying off, dripping at just the ends now, and her eyes are focused, sharp on mine. She¡¯s ok here. She feels ok now. She tells me so. She thanks me again.


    I give her a tour of the house and make idle conversation, showing her the butterfly paintings in the hallway and the old I had as a boy. She asks me how old I am and doesn¡¯t even apologize for it, just stares up at me until I give her an answer. ¡°Forty-two.¡± Too old for you.


    I see the many questions behind her eyes and I wonder if she¡¯s interested in me or just naturally curious. She doesn¡¯t voice any of them, but I ask about her.


    Laine Seabourne. No father. No siblings. A mother who¡¯s off with her boyfriend, Denny. Laine is at college, studying childcare. Laine likes children.


    I ask her why, and she says nobody has ever asked her that before.


    I suspect there are a lot of things nobody has ever asked her before.


    She sits in an armchair in my living room and pulls her legs up under her. Her fingers twiddle in herp, fiddling with the dressing gown belt around her waist.


    ¡°Do you want children of your own, Laine?¡± I prompt. ¡°Is that why?¡± She shrugs. ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s why.¡± I wait. Listen to her breathe.


    Her smile stills my heart. ¡°I guess maybe it¡¯s because I get to give them the things I never had.¡±


    ¡°The things you never had? Do you mean toys? Games?¡±


    She shakes her head. ¡°Time,¡± she says. ¡°Someone to y with. I think I enjoy it as much as they do.¡± Her eyes glitter as she looks at me, and I


    wonder where she is in her mind. If she¡¯s ying teacups, or dolls,ughing as Barbie kisses Ken under the covers.


    I wonder if she ever yed that game.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you have anyone to y with, Laine?¡±


    ¡°Sometimes,¡± she says, ¡°when Mum didn¡¯t have a boyfriend and wasn¡¯t at work. She yed with me then. Sometimes.¡±


    ¡°My daughter used to adore those little dolls that fit in your pocket. The ones with the rainbow hair, do you know them?¡±


    She ponders, then shakes her head, and I realize how big the age difference is. Way before her time.


    ¡°What is your daughter¡¯s name?¡± she asks, and my heart prickles.


    ¡°Jane.¡±Content provided by N?velDrama.Org.


    She smiles. ¡°Thank Jane for her dressing gown. It¡¯s


    I nod, wondering if she¡¯ll ever find out that Jane never owned anything like the dressing gown Laine is wearing.


    She won¡¯t find out. Of course, she won¡¯t. I¡¯ll be taking her home tomorrow, making sure she gets in ok, and then I¡¯ll be leaving, nice knowing you. I¡¯ll wave her off and hope she has a nice life, d to have been of service.


    As Laine yawns and shoots me a grin, I know I¡¯m lying to myself. She¡¯sfortable here, with me, as though she¡¯s always been here. As though she belongs here.


    ¡°Time for bed,¡± I say. ¡°Up those wooden hills to Bedfordshire, youngdy.¡±


    I¡¯m smiling as I get to my feet, it seems so natural to hold out a hand to her. She takes it with wide eyes.


    ¡°Uncle Jack used to say that to me when I was little.¡±


    ¡°Uncle Jack?¡±


    ¡°One of Mum¡¯s old boyfriends. One of the good guys.¡± Her eyes drop.


    ¡°One of the few.¡±


    My throat feels tight but I ignore it. ¡°I¡¯ll show you to your room.¡± Your room.


    She doesn¡¯t let go of my hand, not even when I¡¯ve pulled her to her feet. She keeps it tight, her little fingers so small in mine. I walk her upstairs and intend to take her right to the end of thending, to the regr guest room where the sheets are white and there is a TV, an ensuite and wardrobe, and regr pictures of poppies and a seasidendscape. The boring room. I should take her there.


    But I don¡¯t.


    I reach Jane¡¯s room and my legs won¡¯t walk any further. I¡¯m rooted to the spot, mouth dry as I press down the door handle.


    Laine¡¯s eyes widen as I flick the light switch, and I know I¡¯m doomed when she smiles.


    ¡°Oh wow! Wow!¡± she says, and she¡¯s taking it all in. The princess castle I made myself out of wood and silver paint. The rocking horse in the corner, the patchwork dollies on the shelf. I see her admire the little dressing table, and the white wooden bed carved with hearts.


    Sugar and spice and all things nice are stenciled on the wall above the bed.


    ¡°That¡¯s what little girls are made of,¡± she says.


    I nod. ¡°Make yourself at home.¡±


    She squeezes my hand before she lets go. ¡°Thanks, Nick. For everything. This is¡­ beautiful¡­¡±


    I squeeze hers back before I let her go.


    ¡°Sleep tight.¡±


    She sits on the bed and bounces. ¡°Don¡¯t let the bedbugs bite.¡± She¡¯s smiling to herself as I close the door behind her.

 Chapter 23

    LAINE


    THIS ROOM IS A FAIRYTALE PARADISE.


    My heart hurts. It hurts.


    I¡¯m so jealous of the life Jane must have had, but mainly I¡¯m grateful I get to enjoy it, even if it¡¯s just for one little night.


    I sit at her dressing table and use her pretty mirror. I pull down her dolls from the shelf one by one and brush their hair with her cute little princessb. I look in all the rooms of her princess castle.


    I wish I¡¯d have had even one of these beautiful toys growing up.


    I wish I¡¯d have had sugar and spice and all things nice message written above my bed.


    But most of all I wish I¡¯d had a dad like Nick.


    Jane must¡¯ve been so lucky.


    I wonder how many times she yed with the cute little Alice in Wondend tea set at the bottom of the bed, whether she rode her rocking horse every single day or just took it for granted and left it sitting untouched. I wonder how long she¡¯s been gone from here. How old she is?


    What she looks like.


    I snoop around a bit, but can¡¯t find any photographs of her.


    There¡¯s one drawing, pinned behind the door. Nothing but a scribble really, a scribbled man with a smiley face.


    Daddy.


    She must have been young when she drew that. Much too young to fit into the dressing gown I¡¯m wearing.


    My heart thumps in gratitude for her daddy. He saved me. Rescued me and gave me a birthday cake, kept me warm and dry and safe.


    I hope he knows how grateful I am.


    Maybe when I¡¯m home I can offer him dinner, just something small, a little something to say thank you. Maybe I could cook for him. For us.


    Something nice¡­


    The thought of Nick being in my house is like an ice water bath. Nick wouldn¡¯t belong there, amongst the cracked kitchen tiles and the fridge that doesn¡¯t shut properly, not unless you kick it. Nick is opulent stylish and ssy. Nick is¡­ Perfect.


    My tummy flutters.


    Nick is perfect.


    I turn on the little whitemp on the bedside table and take off my dressing gown, feeling strangely young myself, naked in this little girl¡¯s room. I hang the dressing gown on the back of the door by the DaDDy picture.


    I climb into Jane¡¯s bed and stare up at the ceiling, thinking about her lying here and knowing her daddy is just along the corridor, ready to keep her safe this day and tomorrow and the next day, and every single day until she¡¯s all grown up.


    I wish that could have been me.


    I think about Nick¡¯s firm grip on my arm when he rescued me from the road. I hear his voice as he tells that horrible man to leave me alone. He was so strong, so powerful¡­


    I think about his hand gripping mine.


    I think about his hands¡­


    I don¡¯t usually touch myself. Just now and again, every so often. Kelly Anneughs at me and says I¡¯m a stupid prude because I¡¯ve never even used a vibrator.


    How can you never have used a vibrator? Christ, Laine, you¡¯re such a little kid!


    I remember how sheughed when I told her I¡¯d never used a tampon, only towels. I remember how horrified she¡¯d looked when I told her I¡¯d never put my fingers inside myself.


    How can you not?! How can you even survive without sex, Laine?!Content provided by N?velDrama.Org.


    I survive just fine. I don¡¯t usually even think about it that much. I¡¯m too busy with college, keeping the house clean, and nning a future.


    Some kind of future.


    I¡¯m too busy trying to be a grown-up because my mother is pretty much incapable of being one. Always has been.


    That¡¯s what I didn¡¯t tell Nick when he asked why childcare. It¡¯s because it¡¯s the only time I¡¯m really happy when I can disappear into a magical imaginary world with children and live there with them for a little while. When I can forget I¡¯m a big girl who has to clean up after her mother because her mother¡¯s never been much of one for taking care of herself. When I can forget that I spent my evenings after school trying to cook myself dinner do my homework and tidy the house up.


    When I can forget about the noisesing through the wall from my mum¡¯s room every night and how they made me feel.


    I sigh and it sounds loud in the room.


    That should have been my birthday wish. I wish I could live here forever.


    I think about it. Living here. Being Jane. And the thought makes me smile.


    I think about Nick being my daddy, making my breakfast in the morning, and ruffling my hair.


    I think about Nick holding my hand and telling me I¡¯m a good girl.


    Kissing me on the head.


    Kissing me.


    I think about Nick¡¯s mouth.


    His big hands.


    I think about him touching me.


    I think about him making the noises I heard through my bedroom wall.


    I think about how it would feel. If it would hurt.


    I rub my clit and it feels so naughty, touching myself in his daughter¡¯s bed while he sleeps down the corridor. It feels naughty and wrong, and maybe it¡¯s thebination of adrenaline and relief, but I can¡¯t stop, not even when I hear footsteps on thending and realize he¡¯s not asleep. Not even when I reach that ce where I breathe so quickly I make little gasps, and my heart races, and my toes curl.


    My breath is so loud when it¡¯s over.


    I roll onto my side pull my knees to my chest and realize that Jane¡¯s bed creaks.


    I convince myself that Nick definitely won¡¯t have heard me. Not, no way. Not one little chance. Not even one.


    Until I hear his footsteps move away from the bedroom door.


    Oh shit.

 Chapter 24

    NICK


    I tell myself I always leave the bathroom door open when I take my morning shower, that¡¯s one of the advantages of living alone. I tell myself I¡¯ve always preferred the shower in the main bathroom ¨C the one on thending that opens directly across from Jane¡¯s door. I tell myself that Laine is asleep, that she¡¯s probably exhausted and I¡¯ll be long finished and dressed by the time she surfaces.


    I wish to God I hadn¡¯t heard herst night. I wish I hadn¡¯t lingered, hadn¡¯t pressed my ear to her bedroom door to hear her exploring Jane¡¯s toys with curious fingers. Only those toys aren¡¯t Jane¡¯s toys. I never got a chance to give most of those beautiful toys to my little girl.


    I wanted to make sure Laine went to sleep ok, that¡¯s what I tell myself. I wanted to be sure she wasn¡¯t still scared, wouldn¡¯t lie awake all night fretting over the piece of shit who tried to molest her in an alleyway.


    My cock wasn¡¯t hard. It didn¡¯t take all of my restraint not to jack myself off like a cheap pervert outside her door.


    I didn¡¯t want to hear her touching herself.


    My shoulders feel tight until the hot water works its magic. The girl shouldn¡¯t even be here. This is reckless. Ridiculous.


    I don¡¯t make stupid rash errors of judgment. That¡¯s something I learned from my father.


    Every decision has consequences, he¡¯d say. Make sure you¡¯re well aware of what they are before you subject yourself to them.


    He subjected me to enough consequences that I still bear the scars across my backside. Brutal, but fair, and he made me a better man for it. A smart man. A calcted man. A determined, responsible, powerful man.


    Just like he was.


    A man who doesn¡¯t pick up vulnerable young women and put them to bed in his little girl¡¯s room. If he wasn¡¯t already long in his grave, my father would tan my backside afresh for my stupidity. I smile to myself at his memory andther on some body wash. I scrub hard, working the suds into my skin as though they stand a chance of cleansing my impure urges.Content provided by N?velDrama.Org.


    I¡¯ve worked hard to keep my impulses under control. Worked hard to express my desires eptably. Now really isn¡¯t the time to be thinking about them, not with temptation personified sleeping soundly across thending. I shampoo my hair, working my fingers into my scalp, trying to get my head back in the game.


    Breakfast. Laine will need breakfast. She¡¯ll need her clothes. She¡¯ll need to go back home, where she belongs.


    Still, I can enjoy her just a little, just enough to get my blood pumping when I think back on her beautiful, innocent smileter this evening. A bit of harmless fun never hurt anyone.


    LAINE


    JANE¡¯S BED isfortable. Her room looks so warm and cozy as the light breaks through the gauzy curtains. I stretch out, kick back the sheets, rxing quite happily until I remember with a thud that Nick heard me ying with myselfst night.


    Shit.


    My heart races at the thought of facing him. How ungrateful can I possibly be? Taking advantage of his kind hospitality by ying with me in his daughter¡¯s bedroom? In his daughter¡¯s pink bedsheets? Cringe doesn¡¯t evene close.


    I bite my lip and think things through, and there¡¯s nothing else for it. I just need to get it over with. Smile and face him and hope he isn¡¯t too mad with me. I can¡¯t bear the thought of a man like Nick being mad at me.


    Disappointed in me.


    I grab Jane¡¯s robe from the back of the door and trace my finger over the DaDDy writing on her picture. She¡¯s so lucky.


    I make sure I¡¯m wrapped up tight before I open the door, check myself in the dressing table mirror, and smooth my wispy hair into some kind of order. I look so young in the morning light, in this room, as though I¡¯ve regressed to being a little girl again.


    The thought feels like warm marshmallows in my brain.


    I hold my breath as I press down the door handle. Here we go. Now or never.


    Maybe he isn¡¯t even up yet. Maybe he¡¯s already up and gone, leaving my clothes in a pile with nothing but a get out of my house, you dirty little bitch message waiting for me.


    I hope not.


    I hear the water as soon as the door is ajar. The sound is much stronger than it is at my house, our shower is barely more than a trickle at best. I step out onto thending and my tummy lurches as I see that the bathroom is opposite. The door is open, just a little bit. I can see a mirrored bathroom cab on the wall, all steamed up. A ck toweling robe is in a heap on the floor. My breath hitches at the thought of him in there, the thought of him naked under the water.


    For the first time in my life, I don¡¯t want to be a virgin anymore. I want to be confident, like a sex vixen. One of those girls like Kelly Anne who can go after what she wants. If Kelly Anne were here she¡¯d ditch the fluffy pink dressing gown and stalk in there naked. sh him a smile and a hello there and climb straight in after him.


    Hell, I¡¯m nothing like Kelly Anne, and even if I were, a man like Nick isn¡¯t going to want a silly little girl like me. I wouldn¡¯t even know what I was doing.

 Chapter 25

    He probably dates businesswomen types, olderdies with hot sses tight buns, and a wicked smile. Women who can talk politics with him over coffee and talk dirty with him between the sheets. The thought of Nick talking dirty makes my skin prickle.


    I wonder again if he makes the kind of noises I¡¯ve hearding from Mum¡¯s bedroom.


    I try to pull myself together and decide that it¡¯s probably better to go and wait in Jane¡¯s room until he¡¯s finished, but I don¡¯t. I¡¯m in that strange ce again, where everything feels surreal, and my feet are moving on their own, tiptoe steps so carefully as I inch my way across thending. Just a little. further. I just want to see a little bit more¡­


    I shouldn¡¯t. I really shouldn¡¯t. But I can¡¯t stop myself.


    I don¡¯t want to stop myself.


    I keep my eyes on the tiles as I edge closer. They are the expensive kind, as those spa hotels have. I went to one once for Kelly Anne¡¯s birthday, just for a swim, but I couldn¡¯t stop staring at everything. It was so beautiful, so grand. Nick¡¯s house is like that. He has one of those modern basins, one of the big ceramic bowls that sits on top of tiles, not like the tired old sink we have at mine. He has golden-brown towels over one of those fancy metal radiators. They match the color of the bathroom perfectly. He¡¯s so stylish.


    I think of those towels touching his skin, think of him rubbing himself down when he¡¯s finished, and my eyes creep further in, my toes edging closer to the doorway. I can feel the steam on my face.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    It feels nice.


    I shouldn¡¯t be doing this. I can¡¯t even believe I¡¯m doing this.


    I take a breath as my toes touch the tiles, eyes wide as I lean forward enough to peep around the door.


    Insane. I¡¯m insane.


    But he left the door open¡­ it was his mistake¡­ maybe I didn¡¯t realize¡­ maybe I wanted the toilet¡­


    The sight of him makes my tummy flutter and lurch. He¡¯s got his back to me, his big fingersthering shampoo into his hair. His shoulders are broad, and his back tapers into a slim waist. He¡¯s muscr¡­ toned¡­ I can see the definition in his back even through the steam.


    Oh Lord, please don¡¯t let him see me¡­


    He tips his head back to let the water rinse his hair, and his hands move over his body. I wish I could see the front of him. I wish I could see all of him.


    He leans back, and his hands move lower. His perfect ass tightens, his thighs so tense, and I can see his arms, moving¡­ and it feels so¡­


    Dirty.


    He¡¯s touching himself.


    The wave of shock ripples through me, and it makes my brain pop ¡­ like the time I turned on the TV in the living room and it was on a channel it shouldn¡¯t be, ying one of Mum¡¯s boyfriend¡¯s dirty DVDs¡­


    I¡¯d closed my eyes instinctively, then watched it through syed fingers knowing perfectly well I shouldn¡¯t. Knowing I shouldn¡¯t be tingling in private ces, shouldn¡¯t want to touch myself at the sight of those big veiny dicks on screen.


    They¡¯d looked so big. Much bigger than I¡¯d imagined.


    Those men made the same noises I heard through my bedroom wall.


    And Nick¡¯s making noises, too.


    Quiet ones. Nothing but breath and grunts. I can barely hear him over the sound of the water but it¡¯s the most amazing thing I¡¯ve ever heard.


    My thighs clench tight, and it flutters there. I want to race back to Jane¡¯s bed and touch myself, but I can¡¯t, I can¡¯t stop watching. It seems to take forever, standing statue still as Nick¡¯s arm jerks and the water washes over him, but I don¡¯t care. I want it to take forever.


    He braces a hand against the tiles and lowers his head, and his grunts are a bit louder now, his hips thrusting forward. He swears under his breath, and I know this is it, know he¡¯s about toe. I¡¯ve seen it on the inte, I know how cocks look when mene. I wonder if Nick¡¯s looks just like that. My breath is so fast but so shallow.


    I watch it all. Watch him tense and thrust, soaking up the way his body looks, all the noises he makes.


    When he¡¯s done, he rxes, washes himself off like nothing¡¯s happened, and reality crashes in, the horror of knowing I¡¯ve been spying on someone¡¯s most private moments. He turns off the water quicker than I expect, and I¡¯m sprung right out of my dazed state. I back away, clumsy this time, dash back across thending to Jane¡¯s room, and close the door behind me.


    It closes too loud and I feel horrendous.


    Embarrassment burns so hot.


    I dive under the covers and pull them high over my head. Screw my eyes tight shut and try and calm my racing heart.


    Shit.


    Shit. Shit. Shit.


    What the hell have I done?


    I flinch as I hear a rap at the door, waiting for Nick to order me out of here, waiting for him to demand an exnation that I don¡¯t stand a hope in hell of giving.


    The handle turns.


    Slowly.


    So slowly.

 Chapter 26

    NICK


    I only caught a glimpse of her. A sh of pink as she darted from the bathroom, her presence confirmed by the sound of Jane¡¯s bedroom door closing across thending. I don¡¯t know how long she¡¯d been watching, but the thought of her blue eyes staring at my nakedness through the steamy ss makes my balls tingle all over again.


    I remind myself that this is uneptable. I also remind myself that this is also going to be short-lived. A dirty sh in a very dangerous pan, but one I¡¯ll relive over and over in my fantasies when little Laine is long gone.


    I rap at her door and give her a few seconds before turning the handle.


    Her eyes are wide as I swing the door open and step inside, the bedcovers up to her chin, her pretty cheeks flushed pink. She looks guilty.


    Embarrassed. Gorgeous.


    It suits her and does nothing whatsoever to ease the temptation.


    ¡°Rise and shine, sleepyhead,¡± I say, as though I haven¡¯t got any inkling she¡¯s just watched me whack one off in the shower. I cross the room with her eyes following me all the way, and her eyshes flutter as I pull the curtains wide. Bright morning sunlight falls perfectly on her blonde hair. She looks so innocent, a little angel in a little girl¡¯s room. ¡°I hope you slept well?¡±


    She smiles a relieved smile, and she¡¯s so beautiful here, in this room.


    Her presence brings the ce to life again.


    She nods her pretty head. ¡°I did. I slept well. Thank you. Thank you so much for everything.¡±


    ¡°Your clothes will be dry,¡± I tell her, wishing I didn¡¯t have to. ¡°Let¡¯s go down, get some breakfast. Are you hungry? You must be hungry, Laine.¡±


    She nods again, then throws back the covers, swinging her tiny feet out onto the floor. ¡°Breakfast sounds good.¡±


    She looks so warm and cosy wrapped in Jane¡¯s pink dressing gown. The urge to hug her is strong, to feel her tight against me. To hold someone again.


    I take a breath. ¡°Let¡¯s see what we can rustle up.¡±


    She follows me downstairs with bouncy steps, and her feet barely make a sound on the wooden floor as I lead her through to the kitchen. I pat one of the stools at the breakfast bar and she hitches herself up, adjusting her pink robe with a delightful little hint of self-consciousness that makes my mouth water.


    I know I should show restraint and offer her a regr breakfast. Muesli or yogurt, like I¡¯ll be having, maybe some toast with marmde, but that perverse little thrill is tickling through me, and I veer away from sensibility enough to pull out the box of frosted puffs I picked up from the petrol stationst night. I shake the box and hold it up for her to see, a grinning cartoon leprechaun gracing the packet.


    ¡°Do you like cereal, Laine? I thought you might like these.¡±


    How my dick twitches as her eyes light up. ¡°I love frosted puffs! How did you know?!¡± she says.


    I shrug. ¡°A lucky guess.¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re the ones with the marshmallow stars, aren¡¯t they? I begged my mum for those when I was little!¡±


    Little. She looks so little. Perched on the stool.


    I pour them into a bowl and pick out one of my smallest spoons. A little spoon for a sweet little mouth.


    She beams up at me as I ce the bowl in front of her, as though I¡¯ve just bought her a show pony, not a cheap box of cereal. I pour the milk and ask her to say when.


    ¡°When!¡± she giggles, and stirs the bowl with her spoon, watching the marshmallow stars drift around. They turn the milk pink.


    I get us both an orange juice and sit down opposite her to eat my muesli. I watch everything. The way she scoops out just the right amount of frosted puffs with her stars. The way she closes her eyes as she crunches them. The innocent enjoyment in her smile.


    I would happily watch little Laine Seabourne eat frosted puffs forever, and I feel a jab of resentment at the knowledge that I won¡¯t. It pains me that such a sweet, gracious girl has nobody waiting back at home to look after her. Nobody was there to keep her safe.


    But that¡¯s not my business, nor my problem.


    ¡°Tell me about Jane,¡± she says, and it catches me off guard.


    My breath catches in my throat. ¡°About Jane? What do you want to know?¡±


    She smiles. ¡°Where is she? I guess she doesn¡¯t live here anymore?¡±Content provided by N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°No,¡± I say. ¡°Jane¡¯s long gone from here.¡±


    ¡°All grown up,¡± she grins, and it¡¯s the perfect opportunity for a subject change.


    ¡°So, how does it feel to be an official adult?¡± I ask. ¡°Eighteen is a big milestone.¡±


    She shrugs. ¡°I don¡¯t feel any different. I¡¯ve kinda had to be an adult for a long time. Well, as much of an adult as I can be.¡± Her smile doesn¡¯t mask her sadness, not quite. ¡°I mean, it¡¯s my mum. She¡¯s just¡­ she worked when I was little. It was hard for her to take care of me. She tried.¡± Somehow I doubt that.


    ¡°So you had to take care of yourself?¡±


    She nods, ¡°Yeah. Nothing wrong with that though, right? It¡¯s good to be able to take care of yourself. I cook a mean toasted sandwich. Microwave meals? No problem.¡± She giggles, but it sounds false. I don¡¯t answer and she sighs. ¡°Jane is really lucky to have a dad like you. I¡¯d have loved to have a dad like you.¡±


    ¡°Thank you,¡± I say, and the words almost stick in my throat.


    ¡°I mean it,¡± she says. ¡°Her room is amazing. The writing on her wall¡­ her fairytale castle¡­ all the toys she had¡­¡±


    ¡°Toys don¡¯t mean anything,¡± I tell her. ¡°It¡¯s love that matters.¡±


    Her spoon stops mid-air, and her eyes stare into mine. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know.¡± She shakes her head, and heads and lf. ¡°Sorry. Way too much information.¡± She pulls a stupid face and tips her head to the side. ¡°Stop talking now, Laine.¡± She dips her spoon back into the bowl and stirs the cereal.


    ¡°No,¡± I say. ¡°Don¡¯t stop talking. Not unless you want to, of course.¡±


    She fishes out a pink star. ¡°These are yummy.¡±


    I take the hint. ¡°I¡¯m d you¡¯re enjoying it.¡±


    ¡°So much,¡± she says. ¡°Much finishes up the bowl, and spoons up everyst drop of milk. Then she waits. Watches me finish my muesli with a gentle smile on her face.

 Chapter 27

    We sit in silence a for moment, and there¡¯s a feeling in me, a desperate urge to tell her she doesn¡¯t have to go home to an empty house, where nobody cares about her. To tell her I like her. To tell her I want to take care of her, the way I wanted to take care of Jane all those years ago.


    To tell her the truth.


    I tell her nothing, just put our empty bowls in the sink and gather her clothes from theundry room. She takes them from my arms, tells me thanks, and I force out the words I need to say. ¡°We¡¯d better be getting you home.¡±


    LAINE


    The journey goes too quickly. The world zooms by outside the window and my heart thumps at the horror that this is it. Goodbye.


    I don¡¯t want this to be goodbye.


    My palms are hot and mmy, and my fingers are fidgety. They twiddle around and around as I try to think of a way to make thisst.


    I just want to see him again.


    My emotions are churned into a big messy ball in my stomach. It feels weird and ufortable, these feelings for Nick twisting and turning, so confused. I felt so safe in Jane¡¯s room, cocooned in this floaty bubble, like cotton candy at a spring fair. I felt so safe there, so safe in Nick¡¯s house, that I wanted to be Jane.


    And I still want to be Jane now.


    But I watched him. I watched him in the shower. I watched him and I liked it. I thought about him touching me and I liked that too.


    I like him.


    I like him like that.


    Thebination feels icky. Weird.


    Fluttery and weird.


    I can¡¯t straighten it out and it won¡¯t go away, so I just keep staring out of the window and praying he¡¯ll let me see him again.


    I can¡¯t bear the thought of never seeing him again.


    He asks me for directions to Kelly Anne¡¯s house and I want to lie, tell him she lives far away, that I can¡¯t remember how to even get there, but I don¡¯t. I point him to her estate in Newhaven, and he indicates onto her street.


    I direct him into her parents¡¯ driveway and hold my breath, scared he¡¯ll say his goodbyes and disappear now I¡¯m back on home turf. He doesn¡¯t.


    He puts the car in neutral and says he¡¯ll wait for me.


    I smile in relief.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be right back,¡± I say. ¡°Just a minute.¡±


    He nods, nd smiles, and I fumble with the door handle, tripping over my nervy limbs as I bundle out of the car. I pull my cardigan around myself as I ring her doorbell, and I can smell hisvender fabric conditioner. I love the way it smells.


    It¡¯s Kelly Anne¡¯s mum who answers the door. She takes my arm and wees me in, yelling to Kelly Anne upstairs to announce my arrival. ¡°Go on up,¡± she says. ¡°She¡¯s still in her pit.¡± ¡°Thanks, Mrs Dean,¡± I say.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    She tuts at me. ¡°It¡¯s Mary,¡± she says. ¡°How many times do I have to tell you it¡¯s Mary?¡± Her smile is kind andced with that little bit of pity I¡¯ve grown used to.


    I smile back at her and then make my way upstairs. Kelly Anne¡¯s bedroom door is closed tight. I don¡¯t bother knocking, just let myself in and navigate the trail of dirtyundry until I¡¯m at her bed.


    ¡°Kelly Anne?¡±


    She groans, rolls over, and sleepy eyes barely focus on me.


    ¡°Kelly Anne, it¡¯s me.¡±


    ¡°Laine? What are you doing here? What time is it?¡± She gropes for the phone on her bedside cab, checks the time, and groans again. ¡°Urgh, not even midday.¡±


    ¡°You took my keys!¡± I snap, and all the fear fromst nightes rushing back. ¡°My phone, too! My purse and my ID! I was stuck out all night!¡±


    Shees to her senses and props herself up on her elbow with a confused expression on her face. ¡°What?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°Jeez, Kels. You took everything! It was all in your bag!¡±


    She raises her eyebrows. ¡°No,¡± she says. ¡°It wasn¡¯t. It wasn¡¯t!¡±


    I feel my jaw hit the floor, gawping as she roots around the floor for her handbag. She pulls out the contents. Lipstick and condoms and a load of crumpled receipts.


    ¡°But where¡­¡± I stammer. ¡°What¡­¡±


    ¡°On the table!¡± she said. ¡°You were in the toilet. I left your stuff right on the table for you! I even scribbled a note on a beer mat!¡±


    ¡°But there wasn¡¯t¡­¡± I think back tost night. To the horror of returning to my seat to find it upied by other people, no Kelly Anne in sight. No Kelly Anne in the whole club.


    ¡°I left it with those guys¡­¡± she continues. ¡°The ones we downed a shot with at the bar¡­ they were right there, at the table next to ours¡­¡±


    I can¡¯t hide the horror. ¡°You left my stuff with a load of drunk guys and disappeared? You left my money and my keys and my phone with total strangers and bailed on me, on my birthday?¡±


    She covers her face with her hands. ¡°Shit, Laine. I was wrecked. They seemed alright¡­¡±


    ¡°But they weren¡¯t alright. Theyalright.¡±


    She stares at me, and her eyes are pink and hungover. ¡°You got home though, right? No harm done.¡±


    ¡°No. I didn¡¯t!¡±


    She sits up in bed and I¡¯m so angry, my nails are digging into my palms, thinking about what could¡¯ve been, all because she was too busy getting down with some random guy. ¡°So what happened?¡± she says. ¡°Where did you go?!¡±


    I try to start from the beginning, but the words won¡¯te. I don¡¯t want them to. I don¡¯t want to tell her about Nick, or the guy in the alleyway, or being rescued. I don¡¯t want to tell her about Jane¡¯s room, and frosted puffs and watching hime in the shower.


    It feels tickly and raw. And private.


    ¡°So you don¡¯t have my stuff?¡± I say. ¡°Not any of it?¡±


    She groans. ¡°Sorry. I¡¯m sorry, Laine. I pulled an asshole move.¡± At least she knows it.


    I try not to let it upset me, just like always. Try not to take it to heart. Try not toprehend the scale of the disaster on my hands now I¡¯m in the cold light of day and still don¡¯t have any of my things. But it¡¯s hard. It¡¯s really hard.


    ¡°I¡¯m gonna go,¡± I say, and my voice is tickly.


    ¡°Go?! Go where?¡±


    ¡°Home¡­¡± I say. ¡°I¡¯ll see if I can get in¡­ through a window¡­¡± She throws back the covers and starts gathering clothes from the floor.


    ¡°I¡¯lle with you.¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I say, and my tone makes her stop in her tracks. ¡°It¡¯s fine¡­ you¡¯re still hungover, and I¡¯m¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re locked fucking out,¡± she says like I don¡¯t know that. ¡°It¡¯s the least I can do.¡±


    And it is. It is the least she can do. But it¡¯s toote for that now, and I don¡¯t want her help, not with Nick outside.


    I back away, heading for the door, and tell her again that it¡¯s fine, that I¡¯ll cope, and that she should get back to sleep.


    She doesn¡¯t need all that much convincing. No real surprise there.


    ¡°Let me know you¡¯re alright, yeah?¡± she calls after me. ¡°I¡¯ve got so much to tell you about Harrison. That was his name, you know! Harrison!


    And he was so hot!¡± Harrison.


    That¡¯s the guy I have to thank for nearly losing my virginity to some asshole in a back alley.


    I say goodbye to Mrs Dean on the way out, and do my best not to cry before I break the news to Nick.

 Chapter 28

    NICK


    ¡°ALL SET?¡± I ask, and then I see the defeat in Laine¡¯s eyes.


    She shakes her head, buckling herself into her seat with shaky fingers.


    Her voicees out so weak, barely more than a whisper.


    ¡°Kelly Anne doesn¡¯t have my things. Not any of them. She left them, in the club.¡±


    ¡°In the club?¡± I pull out my phone. ¡°What was the name of the ce? I¡¯ll call lost property.¡±


    Her dainty fingers reach out andnd on my wrist, so gently. ¡°There¡¯s no point¡­¡± she says. ¡°She left them on the table¡­ with some guys¡­ when


    I was in the bathroom¡­¡±


    My expression must speak volumes because her eyes widen as she continues. ¡°She was drunk. She doesn¡¯t mean it. Kelly Anne is just¡­¡±


    ¡°Kelly Anne is a selfish fool,¡± I say. ¡°And you¡¯re so much better than friends like her, Laine.¡±


    She doesn¡¯t look like she believes me. Her eyes are sad and ssy, her cheeks pale. I put the car in gear and reversed out onto the street. ¡°We¡¯ll go to yours,¡± I say. ¡°See what we can do.¡±


    ¡°There may be a window open¡­ upstairs¡­ I may be able to climb through¡­¡±


    There isn¡¯t a chance in hell I¡¯m going to be letting her shimmy up some drainpipe, but I don¡¯t say that. Not yet.


    Her estate leaves a lot to be desired. It¡¯s tired and cramped, with overgrown gardens and battered old cars in the street. Hers is a little white mid-terrace. The garden is neat but barren. The front door has chipped red paint, and as soon as I pull the car onto her driveway it¡¯s clear she won¡¯t need to be looking for an open window. The front door is already open, just enough to see into the dark hallway beyond.


    Laine is out of the car in a sh, but I reach her before she makes it across the garden. I grip her elbow and pull her back to my side.


    ¡°Wait,¡± I say, and my voicees out harsher than I intend it to. ¡°I¡¯ll go first.¡±


    I take a step forward, and as I nudge the door open I hear Laine¡¯s pained gasp behind me.


    The ce is a hovel. Nothing but a wastnd of empty beer cans and trash. There are fish and chips scattered all over the floor and a smear of tomato ketchup on the wall.


    ¡°Oh my God,¡± she cries. ¡°What the¡­¡±


    I step on through to the living room, and it¡¯s in a worse state than the hallway. I find her keys on the cigarette-littered coffee table, and there¡¯s her ID, too. Laine¡¯s sweet face stares out from her college card, and there¡¯s everything they need right there. Her address is in in lettering.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    There¡¯s no sign of her phone or her money, of course.,


    Laine busies herself around me, picking up empty bottles and cans through sniffles of pain, but it¡¯s a thankless task. The assholes have had a rare old time, no doubt thrilled at the hedonistic destruction of Laine¡¯s home.


    She wipes her sniffles on her cardigan sleeve. ¡°You can leave, Nick.


    Please leave. This is disgusting. Horrible¡­ You don¡¯t need to be here¡­¡±


    She clears another chip paper and underneath is a filthy used rubber. It¡¯s stained the fabric sofa underneath with a grotesque white smear.


    I pull out my phone and dial the police, tell Laine exactly what I¡¯m doing, but she shakes her head.


    ¡°What can the police do? They had a key! This is all my fault! I should never have left Kelly Anne with my stuff¡­¡±


    Her self-recrimination shocks me enough to cancel the call. ¡°This is not your fault, Laine. Some dregs of society did this, some losers with no moral fiber, who exist just to wreck everything around them. They did this. Helped by your very considerate friend.¡±


    ¡°But still, I should¡¯ve known better! I should¡¯ve known!¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t touch that,¡± I say as she tries to pick up the rubber in some greasy paper. ¡°Don¡¯t touch anything. Not a single thing, Laine.¡±


    ¡°But I have to¡­¡± she says. ¡°I have to clean up!¡±


    But she doesn¡¯t. She doesn¡¯t have to do a thing around this shithole. ¡°I mean it,¡± I tell her. ¡°Don¡¯t touch anything.¡± She stops moving and gives me a little nod.


    ¡°Wait right here.¡±


    She doesn¡¯t follow me as I survey the rest of the house, and I¡¯m d because the ce is destroyed.


    The kitchen bore the worst of it, or so it appears until I reach thending and see Laine¡¯s open bedroom door at the far end.


    Her room is in magnolia with some of the paint chipped away, just like the rest of the ce. Her bed is an old wooden thing, just a single, and her carpet is threadbare in ces. What you can see of it, anyway.


    It pains me to see how they¡¯ve rampaged through her wardrobe, pains me further to find another used rubber in her bedsheets. They¡¯ve taken her makeup and used it to scrawl obscenities over her dressing table mirror. The rest is trampled into the carpet. I pull a sweet white dress from her wastepaper basket, and it¡¯s been shredded, ripped almost clean in two. The rest of her clothes haven¡¯t fared much better, and my breath catches in my throat to see her torn knickers, cast from her chest of drawers and soiled in ways I don¡¯t even want to consider.


    I hear her footsteps on the stairs, but I¡¯m toote to stop her. She wails as she sees the carnage.


    I grab her as sheunches herself towards the bed, but I¡¯m not quick enough. She doesn¡¯t even see the grimy rubber, she¡¯s too focused on what¡¯s beyond.


    And then I see it, too. A tattered bear, stuffing hanging from its dismembered limbs. She wrestles with her bedcovers until she finds its head, and she describes, holding its broken pieces to her chest as she rocks back and forth.


    I could kill the fuckers who did this to her.


    She flinches when Iy a hand on her shoulder, and her words are broken. Choked.


    ¡°It¡¯s Ted,¡± she sobs. ¡°I¡¯ve had him since I was a baby¡­ I love him¡­¡± ¡°Shh,¡± I say, and it¡¯s the most natural thing in the world to pull her into my arms. ¡°I¡¯ll fix him, Laine.¡±


    Her delicate arms wrap around my waist, and she buries her face against my shirt. ¡°Why did they do this? Why did they do this to Ted?¡±


    ¡°Because they¡¯re assholes who don¡¯t have anything better to do with their poxy lives.¡±


    Her sniffles are so sad. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m so d you¡¯re here¡­ thank you¡­¡± And I know this is it. I¡¯m done for.


    Her words are muffled against my chest. ¡°I don¡¯t know how I¡¯m going to tell Mum¡­ she¡¯s going to be so mad¡­¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to worry about that,¡± I say. I take her cheeks and tilt her head up to mine, and her watery eyes are so beautiful. ¡°Let¡¯s go now.¡±


    ¡°Go where?¡±


    ¡°Home,¡± I say simply. ¡°Home to mine.¡±


    ¡°But I can¡¯t¡­ I have to stay¡­ I have to fix this¡­¡± I brush her tears away with my thumbs.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to fix anything, Laine,¡± I tell her. ¡°Not anymore.¡±

 Chapter 29

    LAINE


    MY HEART HURTS and I feel sick.


    ¡°You¡¯re so kind¡­¡±


    He takes Ted from my arms and finds his missing leg. My poor, poor Ted. His battered body breaks my heart. My voice is choked up as I ask Nick the question.


    ¡°Do you think you can save him?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll give it my very best shot,¡± he tells me, and I believe him. He looks around my bedroom. ¡°There¡¯s nothing else worth saving,¡± he says. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Laine, we¡¯ll have to get new.¡±


    ¡°But I don¡¯t¡­¡± I cough to hide the embarrassment. ¡°I don¡¯t have any money¡­ not enough¡­ not even if I did have my purse¡­¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to worry about that.¡±


    But I am. I am worried about that. He¡¯s done far too much already, and I tell him so. I tell him I can¡¯t take any more from him, that he hardly even knows me, but he waves his hand, won¡¯t hear any of it.


    ¡°I¡¯ll call a locksmith when we¡¯re back at home,¡± he says. ¡°Some cleaners, too. They¡¯ll salvage anything that can be saved.¡± He runs a hand down my chipped paintwork. ¡°I think we¡¯ll need a decorator, too. They¡¯ve


    done a real number on the ce, vile little cunts.¡±


    I gasp. It shocks me so much to hear him swear like that.


    ¡°Sorry,¡± he says when he sees my open mouth.


    But I like it. I like the way he sounds when he¡¯s angry. He sounds so strong¡­ so fierce¡­


    ¡°I just can¡¯t believe there are people like this out there,¡± he snaps.


    ¡°Low-life scum.¡±


    ¡°They didn¡¯t do all of this¡­¡± I admit. I point at the chipped paint. ¡°That was already there.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll get the ce spruced up,¡± he says. ¡°I promise.¡±


    I smile, say yet another thank you, and I even try to sound convincing.


    It¡¯s not that I¡¯m not grateful, because I am. It¡¯s not that I¡¯m not aware how lucky I am that I ran into the road and Nick¡¯s path, because I¡¯m very, very aware of that.


    It¡¯s because I know that when we leave this house, and all the tattered broken things in here, I¡¯m never going to want toe back.


    HE DIGS out a box from the garage. Sadly, one single box is going to be more than enough to contain the remnants of my life.


    I¡¯m relieved to find my college work intact above my wardrobe. I pack up my folders and text books, and ce Ted on top, being careful with all his frayed pieces.


    That¡¯s just about everything I can save. Everything I want to.


    Everything that matters.


    Nick carries it out to the car. He loads my measly possessions into the back and smiles as I slip into the passenger seat and buckle myself in. He closes the front door and locks it, and I wait in the car as he calls at the neighbors on either side.


    He says nothing about what they tell him, and I¡¯ve never much liked the neighbors anyway, so I don¡¯t ask.


    I don¡¯t want to know what happened here. I already know enough.


    ¡°I still think we should call the police,¡± he says as he reverses away from the house.


    ¡°No point,¡± I reply. ¡°They won¡¯t care anyway.¡±


    ¡°Of course they¡¯ll care, Laine. They¡¯re the police. It¡¯s their job to care.¡±


    ¡°And this is a dead-end street. There¡¯s always crap going on around here. They¡¯ll probably think it was a party I had myself while my mum was away. A party that got out of hand, and now I¡¯m trying to cover my tracks before Mum gets back.¡±


    ¡°They won¡¯t think that.¡±


    ¡°They will,¡± I insist, and he doesn¡¯t argue. I guess he knows it too.


    We head back towards Brighton, and the further away from Newhaven we get, the more relieved I feel. He parks up at a multi-story in the middle of town, and I look at him curiously as he gestures I should follow him.


    ¡°You need things,¡± he exins as we head for the exit. ¡°New clothes.


    Toiletries. A phone.¡±


    ¡°But I¡­¡± I grasp his wrist and he stops. ¡°I can¡¯t take all this from you. I just can¡¯t.¡±


    He sighs. ¡°Laine, I¡¯ve more than enough money. It¡¯s nice to have someone to spend it on.¡±


    I think of Jane. I think about all the people a man like Nick should have in his life. A wife maybe. Friends. Just¡­ people.


    It¡¯s on the tip of my tongue to say so, but his hands are on my shoulders before the words are out.


    ¡°Please, Laine. It¡¯s my pleasure. Allow me to enjoy it.¡±


    ¡°Just a few bits¡­¡± I say. ¡°Just to tide me over¡­ and I¡¯ll pay you back,


    I promise.¡±


    ¡°No,¡± he says. ¡°You won¡¯t.¡±


    He takes my hand, and his fingers are solid. He walks quickly, and I have to take two steps for every one of his. It makes me feel so alive, to be rushing along at Nick¡¯s side. I let the sensation wash over me.


    He leads me into the first clothes shop we see, one of the lovely little boutiques on the front. Everything looks expensive, really expensive, but he doesn¡¯t seem to care. He heads for a section at the back, with loads of pretty pastel colors, and I¡¯m pleased. It¡¯s where I¡¯d have headed myself.


    I balk at the price tags and tell him it¡¯s all too much, but he won¡¯t hear any of it. He¡¯s gathering up clothes more quickly than I can look at them, pretty shades of pink, and bright whites, lovely purples and teals and pale blues.Content provided by N?velDrama.Org.


    He¡¯s chosen the smallest size on the rack, and he¡¯s right.


    ¡°Choose whatever you want, Laine,¡± he says. ¡°Anything you like.¡± But he¡¯s already chosen everything I like. I tell him so and he smiles.


    ¡°Great minds,¡± he says, and heads for the changing rooms. I follow him, a littlemb dancing along behind such a powerful man. Everyone is looking at us. At him.

 Chapter 30

    The sales assistants are whispering. They beam as he shows them the collection, and then they chivvy me along to an empty cubicle at the back.


    He waits for me, and I feel so self-conscious, trying on such beautiful clothes under harsh lighting. My skin looks pasty and pale, my eyes look tired and my hair looks wispy and fine. But the clothes. They look gorgeous.


    I show him a tight pink cami over a pair of white jeans, and he likes them. He tells me so.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    I try floaty dresses over tights, and he likes those more. I do a little twirl for him and he ps his hands and smiles at me.


    He fetches me a fluffy white cardigan and it feels so soft against my skin.


    He fetches me a winter duffle coat that makes me gasp when I see the price.


    He fetches me a scarf and a cute winter hat with a pom-pom. Boots, too, and a sparkly pink pair of ts that make me feel like a little princess.


    And then he makes me take everything, and I can¡¯t, I really can¡¯t. It brings tears to my eyes.


    ¡°My pleasure, Laine. Mine,¡± he says, and I have no words for that.


    Nothing other than another thank you, and it always sounds some.


    I¡¯m still staring at the items in the basket when he piles more in. Night dresses, socks, and packs of knickers. He hovers by the bras, and I realize he¡¯s waiting for me to tell him my size. I feel my cheeks burn as I pick out the very smallest one they do.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have¡­ much¡­ up top,¡± I say, and try to make light of it.


    ¡°You say that like it¡¯s a bad thing.¡±


    Iugh a little. ¡°Isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± he says. ¡°It isn¡¯t. You¡¯re perfect the way you are, don¡¯t you dare ever think otherwise.¡±


    My tummy flutters.


    He thinks I¡¯m perfect.


    And I know it¡¯s probably just a figure of speech, know he¡¯s probably just being nice, saying things to make me feel better, but I wish he wasn¡¯t.


    I wish he meant it.


    I picked out some bras, just in white with a bit ofce. It¡¯s what I usually wear, and I regret my decision for a moment, worried I¡¯ve made a bad impression, that I should¡¯ve chosen something more sexy, more¡­ grown up.


    ¡°Anything else you want, Laine? Anything at all?¡±


    I shake my head and manage a smile. ¡°I think you¡¯ve just about covered it.


    So many things¡­ so many beautiful things¡­¡± He seems so pleased.


    I can¡¯t bear to watch as he pays. I stare at my pumps instead, anywhere but at the total bnce as he hands over his card.


    He carries the bags and asks me if we should carry on shopping. He¡¯s worried, he says, worried that I won¡¯t have enough clothes for the time being.


    He has no idea that he¡¯s already bought me more than I ever had in my wardrobe at home.


    I tell him no, I tell him thank you, I tell him that he¡¯s already done more for me than I can ever repay, and he settles on toiletries, and leads me around the beauty shop until I¡¯ve ced everything I need in a trolley.


    I hope he¡¯s forgotten about the phone, but he hasn¡¯t. Of course, he hasn¡¯t.


    It¡¯s the first time I dig my heels in.


    ¡°Please,¡± I say. ¡°It¡¯s too much!¡±


    ¡°You have to have a phone, Laine,¡± he insists. ¡°How will I be able to contact you otherwise? How will I know you¡¯re safe?¡± If I¡¯m safe.


    I shrug. ¡°I¡¯ll borrow Kelly Anne¡¯s if I need to.¡±


    ¡°Wrong answer,¡± he says, and marches me straight inside the shop.


    The phone he chooses is ridiculously superior to the one stolen from me. It makes me cry stupid tears again, and I feel so overwhelmed, my belly full of this churning something. I can¡¯t straighten it out.


    ¡°You can¡¯t¡­¡± I say, and he takes my hand and squeezes it tight until I look at him.


    ¡°Do you like the phone, Laine?¡±


    ¡°The phone is amazing¡­¡±


    ¡°Then it¡¯s yours, my treat.¡±


    ¡°But I¡­¡±


    He doesn¡¯t let go of my hand. ¡°Laine, I want you to listen to me, can you do that?¡±


    I nod. I could listen to him forever.


    ¡°Sometimes in life, you have to let people take care of you. Sometimes you have to ept that people want to help, and want to be there for you. Not people like Kelly Anne, who care only for themselves and their selfish pursuits, people who want to treat you nicely. You deserve to be treated nicely, Laine. I don¡¯t think you know what it¡¯s like to be cared for, not properly.¡±


    ¡°My mum, she¡­¡± I¡¯m ready with the excuses again, but he silences me with a sigh.


    ¡°I want to take care of you, Laine. Will you let me?¡±


    Those flutters in my tummy again. I don¡¯t know what to say. I stare at him open-mouthed.


    ¡°If this is all too much, if you don¡¯t want me to be there for you, you only have to say. I¡¯ll book you into a hotel while the work is being done on your house. You can take the clothes, and the toiletries, and the phone, and I¡¯ll drop you there and make sure I keep my distance. You won¡¯t ever have to see me again, not if you don¡¯t want to. I can just be the kind stranger who helps you when you need a friend. If that¡¯s what you want.¡± He squeezes my hand again. ¡°You only have to say the word.¡±


    I stare. Mute. This terrible panic in my heart, a feeling of dread at the thought of him dropping me at a hotel and walking away.


    ¡°Laine?¡± he prompts, and I find the words.


    ¡°No!¡± I say, and my cheeks are burning. ¡°Please. That¡¯s not what I want. I want to stay with you. You¡¯re the best thing that¡¯s ever happened to me.¡±


    I m my mouth closed, searing with embarrassment, but he doesn¡¯t seem to care. He doesn¡¯t seem to care at all.


    ¡°Phew,¡± he says and pretends to wipe the sweat from his brow. ¡°You had me worried for a second there.¡±


    His eyes are kind and bright, and I see him afresh, all over again. He is perfect. The most perfect man I¡¯ve ever met.

 Chapter 31

    NICK


    The phone is in Laine¡¯sp as we drive back to mine, her fingers tracing the edges as though she¡¯s trying to convince herself it¡¯s real. She keeps looking my way. Fleeting little nces that melt my heart.


    ¡°Have you lived alone a long time?¡± she asks as we pull in through the gates.


    I nod. ¡°A while.¡±


    ¡°Do you get lonely?¡±


    ¡°Not anymore.¡± I meet her eyes as I park up on the gravel.


    ¡°I get lonely,¡± she says. ¡°Got lonely.¡±


    ¡°Your mum goes away often?¡±


    ¡°All the time.¡±


    I ask her the question I¡¯ve been putting off. The one that defies all my sensibilities.


    ¡°Do you have anyone, Laine? A boyfriend or someone special¡­¡± She shakes her head and I feel a stupid rush of relief.


    ¡°Do you?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I say.


    She nods.


    We take her bags in from the car, and Ie back for the box of her old belongings.


    The new phone is quickly forgotten as she turns her attention back to Ted. She tries to push his stuffing back into his broken body, and once again I feel the strange weight of responsibility.


    I like it. I like that feeling a lot.


    I dig out a needle and thread from my utility drawer, and she hands him over without question and perches herself on the arm of the sofa as I get to work. Her eyes don¡¯t stray from my fingers as I attach a tatty old leg back at the tear. My stitches are small and careful, making sure I line up the seams just so.


    ¡°Wow, you can sew,¡± she says, and I feel the gentle wash of relief as my work holds up to scrutiny. ¡°You really can fix him,¡± she says. ¡°I knew you would. I knew it.¡±


    Her faith is like golden honey. Her smile is from the heart.


    I fix Ted¡¯s legs, and his arms follow easily enough. I take a breath before I line up his head, and his ssy eyes stare up at me as I stitch him up so carefully.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Good as new,¡± I say as I hand him over.


    ¡°Better than new.¡± She hugs him tight. ¡°He¡¯s very grateful.¡± She giggles. ¡°And so am I.¡±


    I gather up the remnants of cotton and slip the needle back through the reel, and her eyes are on me. Her expression is one of reverence, and it thrills me. Her smile is adoring.


    She leans in before I get to my feet, and her soft lips touch my cheek.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    I fight the urge to pull her close and hold her. Fight the urge to feel her little body against mine.


    ¡°You¡¯re very wee, Laine.¡± I pat the bear¡¯s head. ¡°And so is Ted.¡± I gesture to the stairs. ¡°I think we¡¯d better get him settled into his new home.


    He¡¯s had a long day.¡±


    ¡°Home,¡± she repeats, and it¡¯s barely more than a breath. ¡°I think he¡¯s going to like it here¡­¡±


    Her smile is so bright. The most beautiful smile in the world.  ¡°¡­I think we both are.¡±


    LAINE


    ¡°YOU HAVE A CHOICE,¡± he says as we get to thending, and there¡¯s something heavy in his tone. Something that gives me nervous flutters.


    ¡°About where you sleep.¡±


    My heart thumps at the thought of sleeping with him. In his room. In his bed.


    But that¡¯s not what he means.


    I can¡¯t help but feel a little disappointed.


    ¡°I thought Jane¡¯s room would help you rx,¡± he says. ¡°But there is another room if you would prefer. A guest room.¡± He opens the door at the end of thending.


    I step on through and it¡¯s nice in there. Nice and airy and all creams and whites. Nice and grown-up.


    And boring.


    I get a horrible lurch in my belly at the thought of saying goodbye to Jane¡¯s beautiful room.


    ¡°And it¡¯s a choice?¡± I ask.


    He nods.


    ¡°Jane¡¯s room,¡± I say quickly. ¡°I¡¯d like to stay there please.¡± He smiles, and I see something pass across his features.


    I wonder if I¡¯ve made the wrong call. If I should have gone for the grown-up room.


    Maybe now he¡¯ll see me as a little girl who needs looking after, and part of me wants that. Part of me wants to be his little girl.


    But another part doesn¡¯t.


    Another part wants other things. Things that make me tingle.


    Tingle down there.


    We carry my things through to Jane¡¯s room, and he opens the wardrobe.


    It¡¯s empty.


    ¡°Make yourself at home,¡± he says. ¡°This room is yours, for as long as you want it.¡±


    I wonder again about Jane. Surely she visits? How will she feel to turn up at home and find some strange girl in her bed?


    I don¡¯t want to ask, and I don¡¯t, just smile and start unpacking my new clothes, hanging them up so neatly on the hangers.


    He stays while I do it, sits himself down on the bed, and ces Ted on my pillow.


    ¡°My bedroom is the one on the left,¡± he says. ¡°Just next door.¡±


    ¡°Just through the wall.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    I smile at him. ¡°That¡¯s nice to know.¡±


    I ce all my new underwear in the drawer and put my college books on the bookshelf, and the room is beginning to feel a little bit more like mine.


    I want to stay here all afternoon, forever, but Nick has other ns.

 Chapter 32

    He cooks dinner while I sit at the table and tell him about my college studies. We eat at the dining table and he makes me eat all my carrots like a good girl.


    ¡°You need your vitamins,¡± he tells me.


    I help him load up the dishwasher and I ask him about his job.


    He¡¯s an ountant, a partner in his firm. He says he¡¯s always liked numbers. He likes the order and the control. Likes the logic of it. Likes being able to make things add up.


    He tells me he works Monday through Friday in an office in town, but that he¡¯ll be able to drop me at college and pick me up again.


    I tell him I¡¯ll be able to walk, that his house isn¡¯t too far away from Brighton College, not really, but he insists.


    I get those tingles again at the thought of him dropping me at the college gates and kissing me goodbye.


    ¡°I¡¯ll make you a packed lunch,¡± he says. ¡°You¡¯ll have to let me know what you like in your sandwiches.¡±


    Nobody¡¯s ever made me sandwiches before.


    I tell him so and he looks sad. It¡¯s that pity thing again, like Kelly Anne¡¯s mum, and I don¡¯t like it. I don¡¯t want a man like Nick to pity me. I want him to see I¡¯m a woman, a proper woman, even if I don¡¯t want to be one. Even if I want to be the little girl who draws him DaDDy pictures and has a packed lunch.


    ¡°I can look after myself,¡± I say. ¡°I¡¯m an adult now.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to look after yourself. Not anymore, Laine.¡±


    ¡°Still,¡± I say. ¡°I can.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you can.¡±


    But he doesn¡¯t look sure. He doesn¡¯t look sure at all.


    He checks his watch and stretches his arms above his head. His shirt rides up, just enough to see the t ridge of his stomach, and I remember him in the shower.


    I remember how good it felt to watch him jerking off.


    ¡°Bedtime,¡± he says. ¡°Early start in the morning.¡±


    He gets me a ss of water to take upstairs, and I follow up right behind him. All I can think about is that hard muscle under his shirt, and how it would feel against my skin. How it would feel to touch him. My cheeks warm at the thought.


    I grab one of my new nightdresses and he gives me a towel. I wash myself in the same shower he used, and it gives me such a rush to put my fingers between my legs and rub myself in the same spot I watched hime.


    It makes mee too. A shuddery one that makes me gasp and press a hand to the tiles for bnce.


    I wonder if his cum has been there. Right in that spot where my fingers are touching.


    I wash quickly after that, wrap my hair in a towel, and slip on the night dress while my skin is still mmy.


    The fabric is white and it clings. I catch sight of my nipples in the bathroom mirror, the dark circles so obvious. You can see my hair, too. The hair between my legs.


    And I know right then and there exactly how much I like Nick in that way because I¡¯ve never wanted anyone to see me before, not like this.


    Nobody except him.


    But it feels naughty to want to be seen like this.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    I move so slowly as I step out of the bathroom, listening for any sign of him. I hold my breath and close my eyes, ears straining to hear movement, and I¡¯m so excited when I hear a door handle.


    I gulp a little breath as he steps out onto thending, and he doesn¡¯t see me straight away, he¡¯s too busy fastening his dressing gown belt.


    He notices my bare feet first, and his eyes move up, up and up, so very slowly. So slowly that I feel a heat rush from my toes to my cheeks.


    He swallows when his gaze reaches the darkness between my legs, and I feel so self-conscious, so much of a stupid kid.


    Kelly Anne would cringe if she could see how awkward I am, but I¡¯m doing my best. I lean against the doorframe and push my chest forward, wishing I had some actual breasts to show him.


    I can barely bring myself to look at him, but when I do I can¡¯t look away again.


    His eyes are dark and his breath is fast. There¡¯s an edge to him that I haven¡¯t seen before, something heavy and brooding. It makes my tummy tickle.


    For the tiniest second, I believe he wants me. Wants me like that, and my heart jumps, jumps, and races away.


    ¡°Thanks for the nightdress,¡± I say. ¡°It¡¯s nice.¡±


    His voicees out raspy. ¡°It looks beautiful on you, Laine.¡±


    I¡¯ve never wanted anything as badly as I want him to touch me right now.


    ¡°You should get to bed,¡± he says. ¡°Get a decent night¡¯s sleep.¡± I nod but don¡¯t move, and hees closer.


    I can smell him. Rich and musky.


    A proper man.


    He brushes by me on his way into the bathroom, and my nipples catch on his robe.


    It sends sparks down between my legs, and I press my thighs together, staring up at him as I gasp a little breath.


    He stays so still, and so do I.


    I can hear my heartbeat in my ears, and I can feel his breath against my forehead.


    It¡¯s so easy to tip my face up to his, and I want it so much. I want him to kiss me so much.


    ¡°You need to get to bed,¡± he says, and his voice is strained. ¡°Right now, Laine.¡±


    I meet his eyes, and I want it. I want all of it.


    I want him to be my first.


    I want him to be the one.


    His eyes are hooded and his jaw is tight, but he doesn¡¯t move, doesn¡¯t move a muscle.


    ¡°Please, Laine,¡± he says, and there¡¯s a desperation to it. ¡°Please go to bed¡­ like a good girl.¡± Like a good girl.


    I want that, too.


    I want to be a good girl for Nick.


    His fingers brush my arm and it makes me tremble.


    ¡°Go,¡± he says and his voice is serious this time. ¡°You need to go.¡± But I can¡¯t move an inch.

 Chapter 33

    NICK


    I want to shout at her. I want to lose my cool and push her away from me. Bark out orders that she needs to get herself to bed, where she belongs, safe under the covers and away from the lesser man inside me. The man who wants to tear that slip of a nightdress from those pretty little tits and devour her whole.


    She¡¯s staring up at me, those doe eyes so wide and innocent. Only she¡¯s not innocent. Not right now.


    It¡¯s clear what little Laine is thinking, what she¡¯s wanting.


    ¡°I¡¯m not a¡­¡± she begins, and I close my eyes. ¡°I¡¯m not a¡­ girl¡­ I¡¯m eighteen, Nick¡­¡±


    ¡°And I¡¯m much too old for you. Much too old.¡±


    ¡°But¡­ but who says so?¡± Her voice is quiet and gentle. Her voice is perfect.


    ¡°I say so,¡± I tell her simply and force myself to meet her eyes. ¡°It wouldn¡¯t be right.¡±


    She nods, but she doesn¡¯t believe me. I¡¯m not even sure I believe myself. Because here, on thending, with this beautiful creature standing so close, with those sweet little nipples poking through the flimsy fabric and her tight little pussy just begging to be taken, it feels more right than I dare to admit.


    She looks so hurt. It¡¯s in the sag of her shoulders, the confidence of her stance fading into nothing. It only makes me want her more.


    Her pretty eyes are ssy, and her pale little fingers are fidgeting, and I can feel her, the heat of her.


    ¡°I know I look young¡­ and I know I act it, too¡­ what with Ted and liking stupid cereals and not being able to get myself home at night¡­ but


    I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m not¡­ that¡¯s not who I am¡­¡±


    ¡°I like you as you are, Laine. I like you with Ted and I like you liking stupid cereals and needing someone. There¡¯s nothing wrong with being vulnerable, there¡¯s nothing wrong with needing help.¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°But there is¡­¡± she whispers. ¡°Because I like you¡­ like that.¡±


    I make myself say the right words. The sane words. ¡°You¡¯ve had a traumatic experience. It¡¯s easy to get confused, Laine. To believe you want something that maybe you don¡¯t.¡±


    She¡¯s shaking her head before I¡¯ve finished. ¡°I¡¯ve never¡­ I¡¯ve never wanted¡­ not ever.¡± She takes a breath. ¡°I¡¯ve never liked anyone like that.


    Like this.¡±


    The lesser man in me wants to believe her. The lesser man in me has all the justification he needs to ravage her delicate little body and make her mine.


    But I don¡¯t.


    ¡°You don¡¯t know me,¡± I say.


    ¡°I know enough¡­¡±


    No. No, she doesn¡¯t.


    I shake my head, but she¡¯s not listening. Her fingerse up to grip my arms, as though her touch has the power to defy my words and I catch the scent of her, the soap she used to wash, mixed with that divine aroma of crazy young hormones. I can¡¯t deny the eager twitch beneath my robe.


    ¡°I see you, Nick. I see how much you care for me, how you¡¯ve taken care of me, how you rescued me. You make me feel safe, you make me feel wanted, you make me feel¡­¡± Her voice dries up. ¡°Make you feel what..?¡± She takes a little breath.


    ¡°¡­How do I make you feel?¡±


    Her fingers squeeze, and she smiles a sad smile, and my heart is hers. It¡¯s been hers since she stared up at me in the rain. It¡¯s been hers since she blew out her birthday candle.


    ¡°Loved,¡± she whispers. ¡°You make me feel loved. And I¡¯ve never¡­ had that¡­ and I want to¡­ show you¡­¡± Show you how grateful I am.


    I take her wrist and rub her knuckles with my thumbs as I ease them away from me. ¡°You don¡¯t need to use sex that way, Laine. Lovees freely, it needs no reward. Never give yourself to someone because you feel you owe them something.¡±


    She looks so horrified.


    ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant¡­ I wouldn¡¯t¡­¡± Her lip trembles and it¡¯s intoxicating. And I¡¯m almost at breaking point, hovering on the edge of self-control as my fingers brush the ridge of her corbone. ¡°This is going so wrong¡­¡±


    I¡¯m about to slip the nightdress strap from her pale shoulder as she says the words.


    ¡°I¡¯m a virgin, Nick. I¡¯d never use sex to say thank you. Not ever.¡± A virgin.


    Of course, she is.


    I¡¯m freefalling. Lost to that primal force that wants to take her innocence and break it and make her mine. My balls tighten at the thought, cock twitching under my robe, my mouth watering at the thought of tasting her virgin pussy.


    Her voice is breaking. Barely more than a whisper as she bares her soul.


    ¡°I want¡­ wanted you to be my first¡­¡±


    The girl is so naive. Naive and sweet and innocent. Unaware of the brutal urges of male flesh. It makes me want her so much more.


    I watch my fingers back away from her nightdress strap. They move against the grain, gliding up to stroke her cheek.


    ¡°Someone special, Laine,¡± I tell her. ¡°Wait for that someone really special.¡±


    Two glistening tears track down her cheeks, but she smiles a sad smile.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ I¡¯ve ruined everything¡­¡±


    My hand slips to the back of her neck and I pull her to me until I can feel the softness of her through my robe, the press of her face to my chest.


    I wonder if she¡¯s ying with me. I wonder if she¡¯s a siren from the deep, calling out to me with the vulnerability in her song, and I¡¯ll be drowned, as all lusty sailors drown.


    But I don¡¯t think so. I don¡¯t believe little Laine Seabourne knows how to y games.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± she cries, and I can feel her voice against me. ¡°I thought you wanted me¡­¡±


    She won¡¯t look at me.


    If she looked at me, I wouldn¡¯t need to say the words that seal my doom.


    I watch as my hand tugs the towel from her head and strokes her hair softly. And the wordse, ¡°I do want you.¡±


    My voice isced with more than want. It¡¯sced with need.


    The need to consume.


    To take.


    To own.


    I feel her stiffen in my arms, and it¡¯s too much. I snake an arm around her slender waist and pin her to me, and my fingers travel down, over the tight globes of her ass, and she¡¯s just as perky as I imagined.


    I hitch her, and it¡¯s beyond doubt she is a virgin because she gasps as she feels the ridge of my cock against her belly. I circle my hips, and my robe works itself loose as she moves with me.


    The sensation of flimsy satin between my stiff cock and her soft belly is such beautiful torture.


    ¡°This isn¡¯t about want,¡± I hiss. ¡°It¡¯s about what¡¯s right.¡±


    She¡¯s all breath and wriggling flesh, her flushed face tipping up to mine. She wraps her arms around my neck and presses tight, and her hips move, pin my cock to my stomach, where my balls ache and my dick wants to shoot its load all over her nightdress.


    And then I push her away.


    Firmly.


    ¡°Not here.¡±


    There¡¯s something in my tone I can¡¯t hold back, and she hears it. The nod of her head tells me everything, her eyes so eager to please.


    ¡°I need to shower,¡± I say.


    She nods again.


    ¡°I¡¯ll go to bed¡­ I¡¯ll be¡­ if you want¡­¡± Oh, how I fucking want.

 Chapter 34

    LAINE


    My legs are jittery as I cross thending to the safety of Jane¡¯s room.


    Shit. Shit, shit, and total shit.


    I want nothing more than to call Kelly Anne and tell her about my epic seduction failure. She¡¯dugh and tell me I¡¯m a fool, and I¡¯d have tough too, even though the thought of it is already burning me up, confessing my V status on hisnding like some kind of stupid imbecile.


    I don¡¯t even know what came over me, and maybe that means he¡¯s right, maybe it¡¯s some kind of trauma shit that¡¯s got me all worked up and acting weird.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org.


    Maybe that¡¯s why I¡¯m a freak enough to want him to be my daddy one minute, and want him to be my lover the next.


    How is he supposed to think I¡¯m all grown up now after I made such an epic fail of the whole sorry thing?


    But I know that¡¯s not true. Because I felt him. And he was hard, hard, and big. Big enough to make me nervous. Big enough to make it feel so real.


    I turn Jane¡¯s littlemp on and look down at my belly, and he¡¯s left a mark, nothing but a faint little smear to show where his cock pressed against me. It makes the tingles between my legse back so hard.


    I want him.


    Want him.


    I¡¯ve never wanted to give myself to anyone before, not like I want to give myself to Nick.


    I sit on Jane¡¯s bed and stare at the crack in the doorway, the door I¡¯ve left slightly open.


    I hear the water start-up in the bathroom as I slip between Jane¡¯s sheets and pull them to my chin. It¡¯s so natural for my thighs to ease open, so easy for my fingers to slip down there and rub at my clit until I¡¯m squirming all over again, and I don¡¯t even care anymore, don¡¯t care that this is his little girl¡¯s room and he¡¯s taking care of me, I don¡¯t care that it¡¯s disrespectful and stupid and not what I should do.


    I don¡¯t care about any of those things, because I felt him, and I know he wants me. I know he wants me like that. And it¡¯s the most amazing feeling, to be wanted by a man like Nick. A real man.


    A perfect man.


    I wonder if he¡¯s going to be jerking off in there again, and the thought gives me flutters of panic that I won¡¯t be able to watch him.


    I wonder if he¡¯s already convincing himself that he doesn¡¯t want me after all and I¡¯m nothing but a dirty girl who needs to go home.


    In my imagination, brave Laine leaps from the bed, whips off her nightdress and steps into the steaming shower, kneels before him, opens her mouth. I wonder what he tastes like.


    I wonder if he thinks the same about me.


    None of my wondering stops the dance of my fingers around my clit, none of it stops the ripples that rock through my body as I go over the edge and twitch and moan and struggle for breath.


    Nothing stops the pounding of my heart as I realize the water¡¯s stopped in the bathroom.


    I feel so small as he appears in the doorway, such a silly little thing as I hide under Jane¡¯s covers, my breath still quick from ying with myself. I hope he doesn¡¯t notice.


    His hair is damp, just like mine feels on the pillow under my head, and he looks so nice.


    His belt isn¡¯t tied tight this time, it¡¯s loose, barely wrapped around him. His robe shows a ridge of hard chest. A shadow of hair. And my heart is thudding all over again.


    I wish I could see the rest of him.


    He must know that, because I can¡¯t stop looking.


    ¡°We need to talk,¡± he says. ¡°But not tonight. Tonight is a school night.¡± I nod, and I don¡¯t even know why I¡¯m nodding. ¡°We need to set some ground rules, Laine.¡± I keep nodding.


    ¡°We need to work out how this is going to be.¡±


    My head keeps on nodding, and I¡¯m smiling a little too, because I think that sounds good. It has to be good because he¡¯s not freaking out already and telling me to leave.


    It has to be good because his robe is hanging further open and he doesn¡¯t even care.


    He doesn¡¯t care that I can see he¡¯s hard again. That I can see he still wants me.


    I can hardly breathe as he steps into the room.


    I can hear my heart in my ears as he walks to the side of my bed and flicks off that little light.


    My eyes struggle to adjust to the darkness, but they¡¯re toote to see him slip his dressing gown to the floor. I can only hear the rustle of fabric against my skin.


    And then the cold air as he pulls the covers aside.


    The warmth as he slides in next to me.


    The sadness as I realize he¡¯s wearing underwear, that the hardness of him feels so far away.


    He pulls me close, my back to his chest, and it feels so right to wriggle into him.


    His kneese up and hitch mine, his arm creeps around my waist and holds me tight, and his breath is on my neck. It tickles and my breasts tickle too and I want him to touch me so badly.


    ¡°We¡¯ll talk,¡± he says. ¡°Tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± I say, and it sounds so dorky and pathetic. ¡°Ground rules, Laine. It¡¯s all about the ground rules.¡± I nod. Again.


    Feel like a stupid kid. Again.


    He¡¯s so big in this bed, so big next to me.


    And this stupid little kid feels safe at least.


    How I want his hand to move from my belly. Up or down, I don¡¯t care which.


    But it doesn¡¯t move. Doesn¡¯t move an inch. Not even when I wriggle and squirm and feel his cock still hard against my ass.


    My body doesn¡¯t feel like such a stupid kid at all. My body has a life of its own.


    My body knows exactly what it wants to do.


    But Nick won¡¯t give it to me.


    He breathes into my hair and holds me tight, and finally, he kisses my neck and it gives me tingles on top of tingles.


    It takes me ages to calm down enough to go to sleep. His breathing is even and peaceful, his body so still as I squirm, and eventually I feel that, too.


    I¡¯m right on the edge of dreams as he whispers goodnight.


    ¡°Goodnight, Laine.¡± Like it¡¯s the most natural thing in the world.


    It feels natural.


    Right.


    This feels right.


    And the words thate next feel too right to be wrong.


    ¡°Goodnight, Daddy.¡±


    I hold my breath, scared he¡¯s going to pull away, ready with the stupid apologies and the excuses that I¡¯m half-asleep and don¡¯t know what I¡¯m saying.


    But he doesn¡¯t.


    He doesn¡¯t pull away.


    I feel his cock against my ass all over again.


    But he doesn¡¯t say a word.

 Chapter 35

    LAINE


    I wake up on my own, and my heart does a little jump. A flip of panic at the thought he¡¯s left me, that he doesn¡¯t want me in the cold light of day.


    I slip out of bed and grab my dressing gown, my feet quick on the stairs as I make my way down, and there he is, in the kitchen, and he¡¯s cooking.


    He¡¯s already dressed, and he looks even more perfect in his suit this morning. His hair is slick and styled, and so dark that way that you can barely see the grey at his temples. His shirt is crisp and white, and he¡¯s so careful as he fries up eggs.


    ¡°Morning sleepyhead,¡± he says, and he¡¯s smiling. His smile makes my tummy flutter. ¡°I was just about to wake you. Food¡¯s up.¡±


    He flips the eggs onto a te and grabs some toast from the toaster.


    Bacon, too. I smell bacon.


    It¡¯s the best smell in the world on a Monday morning.


    I take a seat with a smile, say yet another thank you, and my fingers brush his as I take my te from him. I feel it up my arms.


    ¡°Are you all set for college?¡± he asks. ¡°Anything else you need?¡±


    He takes a seat opposite and tucks right in to his eggs like I didn¡¯t just call him Daddyst night. Like he didn¡¯t sleep in my bed with his big, hard cock against my ass.


    ¡°I¡¯m all set,¡± I say.


    ¡°Good.¡± His eyes are so dark on mine. ¡°I think we should make a start on those ground rules.¡± Rules.


    I can handle rules.


    I nod. ¡°Ok.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be dropping you at college and picking you up at the end of the day. If there are any problems, you call me. If you¡¯re going to bete, you call me. If you need anything, you call me.¡±


    I nod. ¡°Sure.¡±


    ¡°We eat dinner together every evening. You do your college work here.


    If you need help with it, you ask me.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡±


    His eyes don¡¯t leave mine. ¡°Do you have any obligations, Laine? Any jobs? Friends? Clubs you need to attend?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°Just babysitting. Casually. Most weekends.¡± I pause.


    ¡°And Kelly Anne. Sometimes I hang out with her.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no more need for babysitting, Laine. You¡¯ll have an allowance.


    You should concentrate on your studying.¡±


    I feel like I should argue, and tell him he¡¯s done too much already, but there¡¯s something different about him this morning. Something so¡­ authoritative.


    I don¡¯t want to argue with him, so I don¡¯t.


    And I like that I don¡¯t.


    I like how it feels to have rules.


    To have someone who cares the way he does.


    ¡°Ok,¡± I say, and he smiles.


    ¡°Good girl.¡± He tips his head. ¡°How are your eggs?¡±


    I¡¯ve barely noticed them. ¡°Perfect,¡± I say, and it¡¯s true. They¡¯re just right. Just the right amount of runny.


    I dip my toast in and it sure tastes great.


    Everything is great around Nick.


    He slides my phone across the table. ¡°I¡¯ve saved my number in your contacts. You¡¯re on an unlimited n.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll call you, at lunchtime. Just to check in on you.¡±


    I can¡¯t stop my goofy smile. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯ll be other rules,¡± he tells me. ¡°But they aren¡¯t for now.¡±


    I nod. ¡°Ok.¡±


    Ok. Everything does feel ok.


    Better than ok.


    I feel all the words in my throat. Words aboutst night, about how good it felt to have him beside me. About how much I like him, how grateful I am, how he¡¯s the best thing ever, and I mean it.


    But they don¡¯te out.


    I just smile, like an idiot, and eat my breakfast.


    He takes my te when I¡¯m done and loads it into the dishwasher with his.


    ¡°Get ready,¡± he says. ¡°We leave in fifteen minutes. We can¡¯t bete, Laine. I¡¯m neverte.¡± He fastens up his cufflinks and slips on his suit jacket from a hanger on the door, and I¡¯m staring, gawping like a silly fool until he raises an eyebrow. ¡°Chop-chop,¡± he says, but his eyes are sparkling. ¡°You don¡¯t want to try my patience, sweet thing.¡±


    I don¡¯t try his patience, not even a bit. But there¡¯s a weird flutter between my legs at the thought.


    NICK


    She cradles her lunchbox in herp, looking at it as though she¡¯s never had one before. Maybe she hasn¡¯t.


    It pleases me to see her so taken aback by simple gestures. It¡¯s one of the things I love the most about Laine, the way everything is a wonder, everything is such a gift.


    Spoiling Laine Seabourne brings me great pleasure.


    Disciplining Laine Seabourne will easily bring me equal pleasure.


    But I don¡¯t let myself consider that. Not yet.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    Not before we¡¯ve worked out the ground rules.


    I pull up at the college and she looks so hesitant.


    ¡°All set?¡± I ask, and she nods. ¡°I¡¯ll call you at lunch.¡±


    She nods again, but she doesn¡¯t move. ¡°Thank you, for the ride.¡±


    ¡°My pleasure,¡± I tell her, and her little fingers grip the door catch before she changes her mind and leans in my direction.


    Her lips brush my cheek for just a moment, but I feel the contact right the way through to my dick. ¡°See youter, Nick.¡± Nick.


    That will have to change.


    All in good time.


    I watch her leave, her college bag thrown over her shoulder, her tiny frame wrapped up tight in her new coat. She¡¯s still holding her lunch as she makes her way to the entrance, and it fills me with a sense of satisfaction I¡¯ve been missing for far too long.


    It feels so good to have someone to take care of. Someone to care for.


    Someone to love.


    I¡¯m about to pull away when I see a girl bound up the steps and grab hold of Laine¡¯s elbow. The girl has a mass of dark curls, and a face full of makeup, and I know, instinctively, that this must be Kelly Anne. Laine¡¯s useless, selfish non-friend.


    I see Laine shrug, and Kelly Anne is looking in my direction. She sees the car and says something, and Laine shrugs again before she carries on walking.


    I wait until they¡¯re out of sight before I drive away.


    I think it¡¯s time Kelly Anne was added to the ground rules. I make a mental note of that forter.

 Chapter 36

    LAINE


    ¡°SO? What the hell, Laine? Who¡¯s the Mercedes guy?¡±


    Kelly Anne won¡¯t let up, and it¡¯s annoying. It makes me feel awkward and uneasy like she¡¯s poking at something too private to be shared.


    ¡°That¡¯s Nick,¡± I tell her like my answer stands a hope in hell of cutting it. ¡°The guy who rescued me.¡±


    ¡°Nick,¡± she says. ¡°And what¡¯s the deal with Nick?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s looking after me.¡± I try to outpace her but she¡¯s having none of it.


    ¡°Looking after you how?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m staying with him¡­ while my house gets sorted¡­ you know, the house you gave the key away to, the house that got invaded by a load


    of deadbeats from a shitty club while I was stranded in the rain.¡± She looks so horrified, and I¡¯m d.


    I nod my head. ¡°Yeah, Kels, that house.¡±


    ¡°Jeez, Laine, I¡¯m sorry. Mum saw Mrs Barnes from down your street yesterday, and sad your house got all fucked up. I¡¯m a total fucking ass.¡±


    I don¡¯t reply in the affirmative, even though I probably should. ¡°Nick¡¯s letting me stay at his. He sorted me out with some clothes. Brought me to college.¡±


    She stares at the lunchbox I¡¯m still clutching to my chest. ¡°Made you sandwiches¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah, made me sandwiches.¡±


    She tugs at my elbow, but I don¡¯t let her see inside the box. ¡°Don¡¯t you think that¡¯s a little¡­¡±


    ¡°A little what?¡±


    She pulls a strange expression. ¡°I dunno, a little creepy? Some random guy rescues you, buys you dresses, and packs you a lunchbox. That¡¯s a bit creepy, no?¡±


    I shrug. ¡°He¡¯s not creepy. He¡¯s nice.¡±


    ¡°He could be a serial killer. Ted Bundy was a nice guy, you know.¡±


    Iugh. ¡°You¡¯ve been watching too much CSI.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, and you¡¯re really sweet. Too sweet. Like, take advantage of sweet.¡±


    She¡¯d be the one to know. If only I was bitch enough to point that out.


    ¡°I may not be worldly-wise like you, but I¡¯m not stupid. He¡¯s a nice guy. I like him.¡±


    And I guess I say like him with a little too much conviction because her eyes widen and she gives me that look. The interrogation look.


    ¡°You like him?! Like really like him? Like, want his dick like him?¡±


    I sigh, back myself into the wall to let some people pass. ¡°Yeah, I like him. I like him like that.¡± And now I¡¯ve said it I feel it all over again. The tickles and the flutters. That feeling of burning up. The memory of his body against mine.


    Kelly Anne¡¯s mouth is open, and she looks so shocked. The most shocked I¡¯ve ever seen her look.


    ¡°But he¡¯s¡­ he¡¯s¡­¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s what?¡±


    She struggles for words, which is totally unlike her. ¡°He¡¯s like¡­ old.


    Like an old guy.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s not an old guy.¡± Iugh, and it sounds so high-pitched. ¡°He¡¯s forty-two, that¡¯s not old.¡±


    ¡°My dad¡¯s forty next summer, Laine. Forty. And he¡¯s an old guy.¡± She sighs. ¡°This Nick guy¡¯s old enough to be your dad, Laine. Isn¡¯t that weird?¡±


    She screws her face up. ¡°Gross.¡±


    The thought makes my heart pound, as though she¡¯ll know. Know the dirty thoughts I want to keep all to myself.


    ¡°I haven¡¯t thought about it like that,¡± I lie. ¡°I just like him.¡±


    ¡°And does he like you?¡± Her eyes are right on mine, and I can¡¯t lie. I don¡¯t know where to look. ¡°Has he¡­ tried anything?¡± I shake my head. ¡°No¡­ it wasn¡¯t him¡­ it was¡­¡±


    ¡°It was what?¡±


    I feel my cheeks burning, and I put my finger over my lips until another crowd of students passes us by. ¡°It was me¡­¡± I whisper. ¡°I¡­ I tried something¡­¡±


    The grin spreads right across her face. ¡°You tried something?! For real?¡±


    I nod. ¡°Yeah, and it was stupid, alright? I made a fool of myself.¡±


    She¡¯s trying not tough, I can tell. ¡°I¡¯m sure you didn¡¯t¡­¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I say. ¡°I did.¡±


    ¡°And what did he do?¡± she¡¯s smiling so brightly.


    ¡°He¡­ he told me I didn¡¯t have to say thank you that way.¡±


    ¡°And you don¡¯t, Laine. Using sex for that is skanky.¡±


    I don¡¯t even try and work out where Kelly Anne¡¯s rules on skanky sit. In her world, it¡¯s ok to put it about anyone who looks hot after a couple of tequ, but clearly not to express gratitude that way. It¡¯s ok to ditch a friend to go running after a piece of random dick, but not ok to fancy someone old enough to be your dad.


    ¡°Well, he didn¡¯t take it.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll bet he wanted to, though.¡± She nudges me in the arm. ¡°He must like you, Laine. Cute little blonde thing like you. I bet he¡¯s jerking off to the thought every five minutes. Dirty old man.¡± Herugh cuts right through me. ¡°Seriously, though,¡± she says, ¡°you shoulde stay with me, not some random old guy.¡±


    The thought fills me with dread. ¡°I¡¯m good,¡± I tell her. ¡°I like it with Nick.¡±


    ¡°Daddy Nick, making your sandwiches and buying you dresses. Very cute.¡±


    Daddy Nick. The thought has me burning up, and my heart keeps pounding and my mouth is all dry.


    I barely register the fact she¡¯s still talking.


    ¡°So, where do you sleep? In his room? Please tell me it¡¯s not in his room¡­¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°In his daughter¡¯s room.¡± I focus on a safer topic, tell her about Jane¡¯s lovely things, the writing on her wall, and how great it feels there.


    Kelly Anne doesn¡¯t look impressed, at all. Her eyes screw up and she looks at me like I¡¯m some kind of crazy.


    ¡°You¡¯re staying in his kid¡¯s daughter¡¯s room? With pink curtains and a mad hatter tea set?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°It¡¯s not his kid¡¯s daughter¡¯s room now. She¡¯s all grown up. She doesn¡¯t live there anymore.¡±


    Kelly tips her head to the side, and she¡¯s thinking. It makes me feel uneasy, and I¡¯m d ss is starting soon.


    ¡°So¡­ if she¡¯s not his kid daughter¡­ then she¡¯s an adult now, right?¡±


    I nod. ¡°Yeah, I guess so. Probably moved away.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ if she¡¯s grown up¡­ why is her room still like some kiddie shrine? I mean, where¡¯s all her teenage shit? Surely she¡¯d have Backstreet Boys posters up, or some other crap like that. Maybe some makeup¡­ some grown-up kid shit¡­¡±


    ¡°Maybe she liked it that way¡­ the way it was¡­¡± My answer isme, and it¡¯s because I don¡¯t have one. Because I haven¡¯t even thought about it.


    Haven¡¯t thought about the fact Jane¡¯s room is still like she¡¯s five or six years old, even though she doesn¡¯t live there anymore, hasn¡¯t lived there for a long time.


    ¡°Maybe she lived with her mother¡­¡± I ponder aloud. ¡°Maybe she didn¡¯t live in there¡­ not all the time¡­¡±


    ¡°Still,¡± Kelly Anne says. ¡°She¡¯d still have some grown-up shit, Laine. I mean, who wants a fairy castle when they¡¯re at high school?¡±


    Me, I think, but I daren¡¯t say it.


    ¡°I¡¯ll ask him,¡± I tell her. ¡°About Jane. I¡¯m sure maybe there¡¯s another room she had or something. Or maybe she didn¡¯t live there¡­¡±


    Kelly Anne pulls a spooky face and wiggles her fingers like a ghost. ¡°Or maybe she didn¡¯t exist¡­ oh¡­ maybe he¡¯s like the guy from Psycho and you¡¯ll find his dead mother in his cer¡­¡±


    That thought does make meugh. ¡°You¡¯re an idiot,¡± I tell her.


    ¡°You have been watching too much CSI.¡±


    I brush past her to make my way to ss, and she follows, and drugs ashrugshrugs me that when you realize he¡¯s some freaky pervert and you¡¯re running barefoot to my house as he chases you with his imaginary daughter¡¯s dildo or something.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re gross,¡± I tell her, but I¡¯m grinning.


    ¡°No,¡± she says. ¡°You¡¯re gross. I¡¯m not the dirty little bitch with a creepy daddy fetish.¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    Iugh at her words but I¡¯m not sure what she means. I mean, she doesn¡¯t know Nick. Doesn¡¯t know how he saved me, how he cares for me.


    Doesn¡¯t know how safe I feel when I¡¯m with him.


    ¡°He¡¯d make a really good daddy,¡± I say.


    She rolls her eyes at me. ¡°Tell him that while he takes your V card,


    Laine. That¡¯ll get him off. Dirty old pervert.¡±


    I don¡¯t reply. I can¡¯t reply. In my mind, I¡¯m sitting on hisp, my arms around his neck as he¡­ ¡°Laine?¡±


    I snap back to reality, and the heat in my face betrays me.


    ¡°I¡¯m worried about you,¡± she says.


    But I¡¯m not worried at all.

 Chapter 37

    NICK


    ¡°MORNING, Mr Lynch.¡±


    A sea of the same old Monday morning greetings. I smile my usual smile, ask after people¡¯s weekends, and their kids, and their Saturday nights at the karaoke. I make my way through to my office with my usual take-out coffee and check my emails just like any other regr work morning. But it¡¯s different this morning. I feel so different this morning.


    Jane stares out at me from the same old picture from the corner of my desk, grinning in the arms of her mother as they stare up at the camera. Stare at me. I touch the frame, a regr ritual, only this time my heart doesn¡¯t pang in quite the same way.


    It¡¯s the loneliness. Or more specifically theck of it.


    A beautiful sense of relief washes over me as I discard my regr work routine and call my secretary.


    Penny looks great this morning. A new blouse, I think. She smiles and scribbles down notes without even a hint of surprise as I instruct her to call in a cleaning team to Laine¡¯s property. I tell her they need to be able to handle hazardous waste andplete a thorough job from top to bottom.


    Decorators, I tell her. We¡¯ll need decorators when they¡¯re done.


    Neutral colors. Maybe some fresh curtains to match. Yes, curtains to match.


    New flooring, too. The ce will need new flooring.


    And a locksmith, to be safe.


    I know I¡¯m still lying to myself. Still maintain the illusion that I¡¯ll ever want to see Laine move back into that ce. It¡¯s a pretense that irks me, even the thought, but the girl needs to know she¡¯s in good hands, strong hands, hands that can save her from any of life¡¯s unfortunate situations.


    And there¡¯s her mother to think about. If you can call the woman a mother in anything other than the biological context.


    Anything else? Penny asks, and her smile catches my eye as her pen hovers so eagerly above her notepad. I notice the simple little pendant around her neck, sparking in the light. I notice the perfect pastel pink of her new blouse and the subtlety of her makeup.


    ¡°Yes,¡± I say. ¡°I¡¯d like you to choose me some jewelry. As a gift for someone. Something tasteful.¡± I pause. ¡°Something you¡¯d like, Penny.


    Something really special. I trust your judgment.¡± Thepliment lights up her eyes.


    ¡°Sure thing, Mr Lynch,¡± she says. ¡°Do you have a budget in mind?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°Something you¡¯d choose for yourself, Penny. Budget is secondary.¡±


    She nods, and dithers on the spot a little. I can tell she¡¯s plucking up the courage to pry, and I don¡¯t give her any cues, just stare at her with a professional smile on my face.


    ¡°Is she, um¡­¡± she finally begins. ¡°Is she..?¡±


    ¡°A friend?¡± she asks. ¡°A rtive?¡±


    ¡°Both,¡± I tell her. ¡°She¡¯s someone special.¡±


    She nods. ¡°How old?¡± she asks, then checks herself. ¡°So I know what style to go for, I mean.¡±


    ¡°Eighteen. Just.¡±


    She looks at me as I say just, and I know she¡¯s wondering.


    She doesn¡¯t ask any more questions, but I can say with certainty that my extra-curricr business will be the talk of the photocopier this morning.


    That would usually bother me, but not today.


    There isn¡¯t one single thing that will bother me today.


    I called up my office calendar and marked myself as unavable from four


    p. m. this afternoon.


    Sweet little Laine needs to get home safely from college.


    And after all, it¡¯s a universal truth. A truth that everyone who is lucky enough to know it is blessed by.


    A truth that I¡¯m blessed with for the first time in years.


    Familyes first.


    In the meantime, it¡¯s business as usual.


    I ask Penny to bring in my nine a. m. client.


    LAINE.


    NICK calls me at lunch. It feels so strange to hear him on the phone. His voice is warm and deep, but there¡¯s a curtness to it. Work Nick.


    I imagine him there, a partner in some swanky ountancy firm. Solid handshakes and rich clients. I wonder if he has a secretary. I wonder if he has a big team of people hanging onto every word he says. He is the boss after all. Or one of them, at least.


    Nick seems like a boss. He¡¯d make a good boss.


    Just like he¡¯d make a good daddy.


    And a good lover.


    I get those crazy flutters again, butterflies in my tummy as I tell him I¡¯m having a nice day, and my sandwiches were lovely. Ham and cheese. Posh ham, really thick cut. Not the watery stuff I buy for myself. I told him my sses went well. That I¡¯ve been working hard.


    He sounds so pleased, and it makes me smile. When I hang up I¡¯m grinning so hard I barely notice Kelly Anne gawping at me.


    ¡°New phone,¡± she says, like it isn¡¯t obvious. ¡°Quite a gift.¡± ¡°I¡¯m just borrowing it,¡± I tell her, and that¡¯s how I see it, too.


    She doesn¡¯t say anything, just gives me that look. That grossed-out look. But I don¡¯t care.


    I met Nick in the car park at half past four, just where he left me. I see people staring at his Mercedes and it makes me feel strange, to be cared for by someone who wears a tailored suit, drives an expensive car, and buys thick-sliced ham.


    I¡¯ve never had money before. Mum never even had a car. Not that it mattered.


    I doubt she¡¯d have driven me anywhere if she had.


    Nick tells me he¡¯s had a good day at the office. Many meetings, he says, just an average Monday. I wish I knew what an average Monday was like for him. I wish I knew everything about him, but the questions in my head all sound stupid, and I don¡¯t want to sound stupid.


    ¡°What are you thinking?¡± he asks, and there¡¯s that kind smile on his face again. He¡¯s interested. I know he¡¯s interested, and that feels nice.


    I shrug. ¡°I was just wondering¡­ about you¡­¡±


    Heughs, and it¡¯s a lovely sound. ¡°What are you wondering?¡±


    ¡°I dunno, just stuff.¡± His smile makes me smile. ¡°I just¡­ don¡¯t know anything¡­¡±


    ¡°About me?¡± He stops at traffic lights and his hand reaches over to squeeze mine. ¡°You¡¯ll get to know everything, Laine. Just give it time.¡± Everything. I like that thought.


    ¡°Ask me a question,¡± he says. ¡°Whatever you like.¡± So I do. I just ask him.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Won¡¯t Jane mind me sleeping in her room?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± he says. ¡°She won¡¯t.¡±


    I look at him, but he¡¯s staring ahead. The lights turn green and he drives on.


    ¡°Will you tell her about me? That I¡¯m staying, I mean.¡± ¡°No,¡± he says, and his smile is all gone.


    I wish I¡¯d never asked. I should¡¯ve picked another question, something about the office or his house or his car. I stare out the window, and the route is already bing familiar. The roads get quieter and there¡¯s the big tree I know means we¡¯re five minutes from home.


    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you about Jane,¡± he says. ¡°If that¡¯s what you want.¡±


    Kelly Anne¡¯s stupid paranoid spections make me nervous, and I¡¯m not so sure I want to hear about Jane.


    I feel his eyes on me for a moment. ¡°Maybe talking about Jane will help you understand the ground rules.¡±


    ¡°It will?¡±


    He tips his head. ¡°Maybe.¡±


    I don¡¯t say anything until he pulls through the gates and takes us up the driveway. I grab my college bag from the backseat, and he grabs his briefcase, and we¡¯re home again. Home.


    He puts the kettle on and pours me a ss of juice, and I wonder if I¡¯ve ever told him I don¡¯t like hot drinks all that much. He seems to know.


    I sit at the table and watch him make his tea, just waiting. His eyes are so serious.


    ¡°Ground rules,¡± he says, and I get a strange tickle between my legs.


    He sits opposite me and I watch his hands around his mug. They¡¯re so big. So strong.


    ¡°What are they?¡± I ask. ¡°The rules, I mean.¡±


    ¡°I want to know you¡¯re safe, Laine, always. I¡¯ll need you to check in often. I don¡¯t want you taking rides in people¡¯s cars, I don¡¯t want you heading anywhere you don¡¯t know. idents happen that way,¡± he says.


    ¡°When people are careless.¡±


    ¡°Careless,¡± I repeat. ¡°I don¡¯t take rides in many cars, Nick.¡± I smile. ¡°I don¡¯t have that many people that offer.¡±


    ¡°A pretty young girl like you would have plenty of people offering to give you a ride, Laine. Maybe you just don¡¯t see it.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t.¡± Iugh. ¡°I¡¯ve never seen it. Kelly Anne is the popr one.¡±


    ¡°Kelly Anne is reckless,¡± he says. ¡°Reckless and foolish, and selfish on top. You¡¯re too good for her, Laine. I¡¯d prefer it if you didn¡¯t let her drag you into any more situations.¡± I nod. ¡°I¡¯m not nning on it.¡± ¡°Good girl,¡± he says.


    I meet his eyes, and I risk and smile. ¡°Is that it? The ground rules? I don¡¯t take rides in strange people¡¯s cars and don¡¯t hang out in clubs with Kelly


    Anne?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± he tells me. ¡°It¡¯s much wider than that.¡±


    That tickle again. It¡¯s something in his tone. Something so¡­ strong.


    ¡°I want to take care of you,¡± he says, and I can¡¯t stop that feeling between my legs. It makes my thighs clench together. ¡°I want to look after you. I don¡¯t think anyone¡¯s ever looked after you, Laine. I want to be the first.¡±


    The first.


    I want him to be my first. In every way.


    ¡°I can, um¡­ take care of myself¡­¡± I offer. ¡°You don¡¯t need to¡­¡±


    ¡°I want to,¡± he says. ¡°It gives me great pleasure.¡±


    And I don¡¯t know what this is. I don¡¯t know what we are, and I don¡¯t want to ask, and I do want to ask.


    I do ask, but ites out messy.


    ¡°You mean, like, a um. You mean like a¡­ a guardian¡­ or something like that?¡±


    His eyes burn me and I can¡¯t look away. ¡°Say it, Laine. Say what you mean.¡±


    My cheeks burn. ¡°Like a, um. Like a dad?¡± ¡°Is that what you want?¡± Yes.


    I know that¡¯s what I want.


    But I¡¯m all icky again. I was all screwed up inside at the thought of wanting him like that. Wanting him the way that makes me all tickly between my legs.


    ¡°What?¡± he asks. ¡°Tell me what you want.¡±


    I take a sip of juice and it¡¯s hard to swallow.


    ¡°You can tell me, Laine. You can tell me anything. We talk, about everything. That¡¯s another of the ground rules.¡± I nod and force down another sip of juice.


    ¡°This is a strange situation,¡± he says. ¡°For both of us. I was driving, just driving, and there you were, lost in the rain, needing someone. Just like I needed someone.¡± He drinks some tea but his eyes are still on me. ¡°Sometimes I think life has this way of putting people together in the most unlikely of circumstances.¡±


    ¡°Like fate?¡±

 Chapter 38

    He smiles. ¡°I like to think of it as synchronicity.¡±


    ¡°I believe in fate,¡± I tell him. ¡°I believe in horoscopes, too. I read mine every day.¡±


    ¡°Maybe you should read mine,¡± he says, and there¡¯s humor in it. ¡°I¡¯d love to know what fate has in store for us, Laine. I think it¡¯s a good thing.¡± ¡°Me too,¡± I say, and I mean it.


    ¡°So,¡± he prompts. ¡°What is it that you want?¡±


    I shrug, and gesture around me, to the beautiful room in his beautiful house.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°This,¡± I tell him. ¡°This everything. It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s like a fairytale.¡± ¡°Beauty and the Beast?¡± Heughs.


    ¡°No!¡± Iugh with him. ¡°Cindere! I¡¯m the scrubby servant girl and you¡¯re Prince Charminge to save me.¡±


    His eyes glitter. ¡°I¡¯m not all that charming,¡± he says. ¡°Not when you get to know me.¡±


    But I don¡¯t believe him. I tell him so and heughs again.


    ¡°Maybe this could be a fairytale, Laine,¡± he says. ¡°If we want it badly enough. Life is full of magic, I think, you just have to trust in it.¡±


    ¡°I believe in magic,¡± I say. ¡°I haven¡¯t seen much of it, not until now, but


    I know it¡¯s out there.¡±


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s right here.¡±


    My heart doesn¡¯t even hope. I feel it lurch, and it scares me how much I want this. It scares me how hard I¡¯m falling, falling right into him, falling right into his life.


    ¡°I hope so.¡± My voice is a whisper.


    He holds out a hand and I take it across the table, and his fingers grip mine so tightly.


    ¡°Let me care for you, Laine. Will you do that?¡±


    I nod. ¡°I¡¯d like that. Very much.¡±


    ¡°And you¡¯ll stick to the ground rules? Let me keep you safe?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll stick to the ground rules,¡± I say.


    ¡°Good girl.¡± His smile gives me tingles on tingles, and my heart races.


    I take a breath and stare at my hand in his. ¡°And that¡¯s what you want? Do you want to take care of me? Like I¡¯m¡­¡±


    ¡°Like you¡¯re my little girl?¡±


    My cheeks must be like beetroot. I close my eyes as I nod.


    ¡°And what else do you want, Laine? What did you want on thendingst night? What did you want in bedst night as you wriggled and squirmed?¡±


    I can¡¯t open my eyes. I just can¡¯t.


    ¡°You,¡± I whisper. ¡°I wanted you.¡±


    ¡°Is that still what you want? Not out of gratitude, or because you think you should. None of that is necessary, Laine, I promise you.¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°No¡­ not because of that¡­¡± My heart is in my throat. ¡°Just because¡­ because I want it¡­ because I like you¡­¡±


    I hold my breath as I wait for him to answer, but his response shocks me enough to open my eyes.


    ¡°I need to tell you about Jane,¡± he says.


    ¡°About Jane?¡±


    ¡°My rules can get¡­ intense. I need you to understand why.¡±


    I nod, and my eyes are wide and focused. I¡¯m pleased that he doesn¡¯t let go of my hand.


    ¡°Jane was my little girl,¡± he says.


    Was.


    ¡°I was young when I met her mother. Louisa was lost, just like you were. I found her sheltering under an awning during an autumn thunderstorm, upset because she¡¯d argued with her piece of shit boyfriend. Jane was just a baby, fast asleep in her pushchair, none the wiser for her mother¡¯s predicament, thank God.¡±


    ¡°So she wasn¡¯t¡­¡±


    ¡°Mine?¡± he says. ¡°Not biologically, no. But she was mine in every way that matters. I was the man she called daddy. I was the man who read her


    bedtime stories and tucked her up in bed at night.¡± My eyes urge him to continue.


    ¡°I was young myself, rtively. Still climbing up the corporatedder, coping with my father¡¯s death. This was our family home, I inherited it naturally, and it was lonely here before Louisa came, just as it was before you came.¡±


    ¡°Did you bring her home, too?¡±


    He smiles. ¡°I did, yes. I brought her and little Jane home with me, and made Louise cocoa while she dried off. I listened to her stories about her loser boyfriend and her sad life, and how she was so scared for tiny little


    Jane.¡±


    ¡°You rescued her. You rescued both of them.¡±


    ¡°Yes. Yes, I did. But she rescued me right back. Saved me from a life full of nothing but work and loneliness.¡±


    I take a breath. ¡°She didn¡¯t grow up here, did she? Jane, I mean.¡±


    ¡°She didn¡¯t grow up, Laine.¡± He takes a breath. ¡°She died when she was five. A car ident. She and her mother alongside that sorry sack of shit I took her from.¡± I see his eyes darken. ¡°She left me a note before she went. He wanted to talk, she said, and needed some help, she said. She didn¡¯t want him, but for some crazy reason that day she took our little girl and climbed


    into his car. Maybe she didn¡¯t realize he¡¯d been drinking.¡±


    I feel the blood leave my face. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    ¡°I should¡¯ve been here,¡± he says. ¡°I was workingte. Stupid client meeting.¡±


    ¡°But you couldn¡¯t have known¡­¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t keep them safe,¡± he tells me, and I feel the pain from him. I see it in his eyes, in the hunch of his shoulders, in the tightness in his voice. In his everything.


    I squeeze his hand right back, as hard as I can. ¡°I¡¯ll follow the ground rules,¡± I tell him. ¡°I¡¯ll stay safe, I promise.¡± I feel so sad. So sad for that little girl with the pretty pink room. So sad for Nick, too. The whole thing feels so sad I can hardly draw breath.


    ¡°I just need you to be safe, Laine. I need you to follow the rules.¡±


    I nod. ¡°I will. Cross my heart.¡±


    He smiles such a sad smile. ¡°I¡¯ll love you, Laine, if you¡¯ll let me. Hell knows everyone needs someone to love them.¡± My heart hurts.


    My heart knows that feeling.


    I feel my eyes well up, and the tears spill, letting the sadness in my heart tip over. ¡°I¡¯ll love you, too, Nick. I¡¯m so sorry about your little girl.¡±


    He runs his thumb over my knuckles and for that moment I¡¯m sure I see his eyes are watery too.


    And then he moves, takes a breath, and gets to his feet, and he¡¯s in control Nick again.


    ¡°Chicken for dinner,¡± he tells me. ¡°I hope you like chicken,¡± I tell him chicken sounds really good.


    NICK


    LAINE tries to smile as though everything is okay as I prepare dinner, but she¡¯s thinking about Jane.


    It¡¯s a phenomenon I¡¯m familiar with, once people find out about such a loss. One that has long since found me avoiding almost all mentions of my little girl¡¯s name. It makes people feel awkward. Pity, sympathy¡­ There¡¯s a fine line between the two.


    I don¡¯t want either.


    ¡°It¡¯s ok. You can talk about her,¡± I say as I peel the carrots.


    She spins her empty juice ss on the tabletop. ¡°I just¡­ I can¡¯t imagine the pain¡­¡±


    ¡°Hopefully you won¡¯t ever have to.¡± The peeler works so methodically. I lift my eyes from the growing pile of carrot sticks. ¡°It was a long time ago.¡±


    ¡°Still,¡± she says. ¡°It¡¯s so horrible¡­ it must¡¯ve been¡­¡±


    ¡°Bad,¡± I say. ¡°It was bad.¡±


    I hope that will suffice. I have no desire to dredge up the long nights of misery, the countless hours of therapy, or the emptiness Jane and Louisa¡¯s passing left in my life.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± she tells me, and I believe her. Those blue eyes are ssy and mncholic, the sadness written all over her pretty face. ¡°Is that why you rescued me? Because of Louisa?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I say. ¡°I rescued you because of you.¡±


    She nods. ¡°I¡¯m so d you did.¡±


    ¡°So am I.¡±


    She smiles and it¡¯s both sad and breathtaking. ¡°What did she look like?¡± she asks. ¡°Jane, I mean.¡±


    I hesitate for just a moment, long enough to finish up a carrot and dig my wallet from my suit jacket. I flip it open and pull out the little picture. Jane¡¯s sweet little grin, her blonde pigtails. So happy. She looks so blissfully happy in that photo.


    Laine takes it from me with dainty fingers.


    ¡°She was so pretty. Such a beautiful little girl.¡±


    ¡°Yes, she was,¡± I say. ¡°A tiny blonde angel.¡± I pause, staring at Laine staring at Jane. ¡°Like you.¡± She hands me the photo and I slip it back inside my wallet. ¡°Louisa was blonde, too.¡±


    ¡°Am I much like her?¡±


    There¡¯s something in her tone ¨C a hint of breathlessness, and that awkwardness she conveys so well. Her sweet self-consciousness is addictive.


    I know she must be as confused as I am, spiraling around the same dilemma, just trying to ride the currents.


    Lover or little girl.


    Louisa or Jane.


    I feel her brain ticking. I see it in her eyes, just as I feel it behind mine.


    ¡°You remind me of her sometimes. Just a fleeting memory here and there.¡± I resume my peeling. ¡°But you have an innocence Louisa didn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Kelly Anne says I¡¯m a prude, she says I¡¯m a big baby. Innocence is dumb stupid, she says.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a beautiful thing,¡± I tell her. ¡°Very endearing.¡±


    She smiles. ¡°It is?¡±


    ¡°Very.¡± And then I know it¡¯s time toy it on the line. ¡°Louisa wouldn¡¯t let me take care of her, not in the way she needed. Not in the way I should¡¯ve.¡±


    Laine stares at me. ¡°She wouldn¡¯t?¡±

 Chapter 39

    I shake my head. ¡°I should¡¯ve set the ground rules earlier. It would¡¯ve kept her safe.¡± Iugh a sadugh. ¡°Should¡¯ve, could¡¯ve. Didn¡¯t.¡± ¡°She didn¡¯t let you?¡±


    ¡°Louisa was reckless, right from the beginning. Rebellious. Addicted to the highs of her earlier life, even if she despised the lows. She¡¯d say not, but it was in her soul, that sense of devilment.¡±


    ¡°Rebellious,¡± she repeats, then lets out a littleugh. ¡°Then we¡¯re not so simr at all. I barely even cross the road without a green light. Not unless Kelly Anne is involved.¡±


    ¡°Kelly Anne needs someone to show her a firm hand, Laine. Teach the girl to be a lot more considerate of others. She¡¯ll get herself into trouble one day.¡± I pause. ¡°Only now she won¡¯t be dragging you into trouble¡¯s path along with her. I won¡¯t allow it.¡±


    I wait for a reaction, for any sign of bacsh, but nonees.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± she says. ¡°For caring. It¡¯s nice.¡±


    I smile. ¡°See if you still think that when you break one of the ground rules.¡±


    Her expression doesn¡¯t change, and I¡¯m sure the implication has sailed over her head. ¡°I won¡¯t break them.¡± She grins. ¡°I¡¯ll be good.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s my girl.¡± I finish up peeling the carrots. ¡°You may well find me a little overprotective in time, Laine, but it¡¯ll be for your good.¡± ¡°I know,¡± she says. ¡°I trust you.¡± At least one of us does. I start on the parsnips.


    LAINE


    NICK can cook. But that figures.


    Nick can do everything.


    I eat up my chicken and vegetables, and it¡¯s all just perfect, just the way I like it. I never want to go back to microwave meals and pasta again.


    I never want to go back to any of it.


    My heart feels tender at the thought of poor little Jane. A horrible sickness, as though it¡¯s too big a pain to understand. And I suppose it is.


    They say it¡¯s the worst pain on earth, losing a child, and my heart wants to reach out and hold Nick tight and never let him go.


    I just don¡¯t understand why Louisa wouldn¡¯t want Nick to keep her safe. It¡¯s all I want.


    That¡¯s a lie.


    I want much more than that.


    I want everything. Just like she had. Only more. I want all of it, every bit of his love, and his care, and his ground rules.


    I¡¯ll give him all of my heart right back.


    I eat up every bit of food on my te and thank him for my meal. He tells me it¡¯s nice to have someone to cook for.


    I tell him I¡¯ll cook for him one day. I tell him I can make a mean macaroni cheese. He tells me that¡¯ll be nice.


    Somehow I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll be cooking for Nick anytime soon, but that¡¯s ok.


    It¡¯s so easy to float around in my happy little bubble around him. So easy to care for. So easy to feel young and silly and small.


    So easy to feel loved.


    ¡°Are you ok?¡± he asks. ¡°You seem somece else.¡±


    ¡°Just thinking.¡±


    ¡°Penny for them?¡±


    I want to tell him that I love the salt and pepper at his temples, and and the strength in his jawline. I want to tell him that I love his gentle smile and the way he felt in bedst night.


    I don¡¯t.


    ¡°I feel floaty. Like this is a dream.¡±


    ¡°Me too,¡± he says. ¡°It¡¯s such a pleasure to find that life still has magic in it. It¡¯s been a while.¡±


    ¡°It feels like fate, doesn¡¯t it?¡±


    Heughs. ¡°Yes, Laine. It does. Maybe you¡¯ll have to read those horoscopes.¡±


    I clear up the dinner tes before he can stop me, and load them into the dishwasher as he watches. I¡¯m putting the cutlery into the tray as he steps up behind me, and his arms snake around my waist as he talks me through the washer settings.


    Full cycle, half cycle, quick rinse.


    I tell him I¡¯ve got it, and press it to start.


    I feel a pang of loss as he steps away.


    He grabs his briefcase and sets out hisptop on the table. ¡°Do you have homework? I¡¯ve some reports to finish up if you want to work alongside me.¡±


    I don¡¯t have anything outstanding but tell him I gathered up and set myself up opposite him, tanandahandeder my notes from ss, making myself out to be the diligent little student. It¡¯s not that far out. A swat, Kelly Anne calls me.


    I listen to his fingers on the keyboard, taking care only to risk fleeting nces in his direction as he concentrates. His brow is firm. Serious. This must be work, Nick. Professional Nick.


    I scribble down notes alongside my notes, and it takes me a moment to realize he¡¯s staring at me.


    ¡°You have lovely handwriting,¡± hements. ¡°Very neat.¡±


    My cheeks burn with a lovely warm feeling. ¡°Thanks.¡±


    He reaches into his inside pocket and pulls out a pen. ¡°Try this one. I find it writes well.¡±


    He¡¯s right, as always. The pen glides across the paper like a dream, glinting in the light like a silver bullet. I swirl my letters, making them just so, hoping he¡¯llment again when he surprises me with a curveball.


    ¡°I¡¯m too old for you,¡± he says quietly.


    My heart pounds. My throat was dry and crackly. ¡°Or I¡¯m too young for you.


    That¡¯s what you mean, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± he says. ¡°It isn¡¯t. I¡¯m thinking of you, not me.¡± He sighs, and I


    hate the sound. ¡°I said we needed to talk about how things are going to be, and I¡¯ve been thinking, Laine, I¡¯ve been thinking a lot. I¡¯ve been thinking here, looking at you right now, looking at the sweet girl with the pretty handwriting and the beautiful smile, and wondering whether I can make her mine. Wondering whether I could be so selfish.¡±


    I can¡¯t bring myself to look at him, so I turn the pen over and over in my hands. ¡°You¡¯re the best thing that¡¯s ever happened to me. You¡¯re the only one I want. How can that be selfish?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re young,¡± he says, and his voice is so calm. ¡°You¡¯re beautiful, Laine. Kind and charming and gracious. You¡¯ll meet someone your age, someone exciting, someone who¡¯ll knock you off your feet.¡± His pause seems to take forever. ¡°I¡¯ll still be here. Still be taking care of you, for as long as you need it, and even when you don¡¯t.¡±


    I have to summon up the courage to speak, forcing my crackled words out through my dry throat. ¡°You excite me. You knock me off my feet. I can¡¯t even breathe sometimes¡­ because I want¡­ I want¡­¡± ¡°Laine¡­¡± he begins, but I shake my head.


    ¡°I watched you in the shower and I liked it. Andst night, on thending¡­ when you¡­¡±


    ¡°When I lost control¡­¡±


    ¡°It felt amazing.¡± I take a breath. ¡°Please, Nick. Please don¡¯t stop this.


    Last night¡­ I want that¡­ I want more of that¡­¡±


    He stares at me. ¡°You¡¯ve never been with a man before, Laine, How do you know you¡¯re ready?¡±


    Iugh, but he doesn¡¯t. ¡°I¡¯m ready. I¡¯m the oldest virgin I know. A regr spinster.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve nevere close, not with anyone?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°There¡¯s never been anyone worth getting close to.


    Just idiots. Normally drunk idiots at that. The Kelly Anne effect.¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°You¡¯ve got a good head on your shoulders for such a sweet little thing,


    Laine.¡±


    ¡°I might not be cool and streetwise like Kelly is, but I know what I want, Nick. I know what¡¯s right, and what¡¯s not right. I know what¡¯s dumb, and what¡¯s safe, and how to get through life without getting into too much trouble.¡± My words stall as I remember him grabbing hold of me in the rain.


    ¡°Well¡­ usually¡­ that night was¡­¡±


    ¡°Dangerous,¡± he says. ¡°It was dangerous.¡±


    ¡°I should¡¯ve been more careful.¡± I try to keep my voice firm, try to sound so much more in control than I feel. ¡°I¡¯m usually more careful. I guess with Mum away, Kelly Anne was the only¡­ I wanted to have fun¡­¡±


    ¡°It was your eighteenth. If there¡¯s a night for recklessness I imagine your eighteenth birthday is going to feature pretty highly on the list.¡± He sighs. ¡°It wasn¡¯t your fault, Laine.¡±


    ¡°Even so,¡± I say. ¡°I was lucky.¡±


    ¡°No,¡± he tells me and reaches across the table. I drop his lovely pen and take his hand, and those butterflies start their fluttering. ¡°I was lucky.¡±


    ¡°Fate,¡± I whisper. ¡°Like we said.¡±


    ¡°And what do you think fate has in store for us, Laine?¡± His eyes are so fierce. Dark like treacle as they stare into mine.


    ¡°Everything.¡± My voice is light, like air. ¡°I think fate wants us to be everything.¡±


    ¡°Everything?¡±


    ¡°Everything.¡±


    Tense. It¡¯s so tense. His eyes were so serious and his jaw so hard. I can feel him thinking, feel him teetering on the edge, and I want to pull him over, pull him to me.


    Please. Please, please, please.


    I¡¯ve never wanted anything so bad.


    He squeezes my hand. ¡°We¡¯ll take it slow,¡± he says. ¡°You can change your mind at any time, but be sure. Be sure you want this before we¡¯re both in too deep to get out.¡±


    ¡°You mean we can¡­ you¡¯ll be my¡­¡±


    ¡°Everything,¡± he says. ¡°If that¡¯s what you want.¡±


    I can¡¯t stop smiling. ¡°I want that. I want everything. I won¡¯t change my mind. Not ever.¡±


    I worry I¡¯ve overstepped the line, but he smiles back, and my heart soars.


    ¡°This can¡¯t have any impact on the ground rules, Laine. How we are together, it doesn¡¯t make any difference, you¡¯ll still be in my care.¡±


    ¡°It won¡¯t make a difference, I promise. I don¡¯t want it to, I like the ground rules.¡±


    His eyes sparkle, and he looks so strong again. There¡¯s that something primal underneath his cool, and I¡¯m there on thending again, in bed with his hardness against my ass¡­


    He pulls his hand from mine and closes hisptop.


    ¡°In that case, I think it¡¯s bedtime,¡± he says. ¡°Let¡¯s start starting slowly.¡±

 Chapter 40

    LAINE


    My feet are bouncy as I follow Nick upstairs. He shes a nce back at me, and his eyes are fierce, with a sexy kind of darkness that makes me feel like a clumsy kid.


    I am a woman, I tell myself so. I¡¯m eighteen after all. Ready for this. Ready for him.


    If only the butterflies whirling around my tummy would believe me.


    He gestures me ahead at thending, and I head for Jane¡¯s room before it urs to me that maybe he won¡¯t want to¡­ not in there¡­ but he doesn¡¯t say a word, just follows me in and closes the door behind us.


    And then he stands.


    Staring.


    Watching.


    ¡°What?¡± I giggle.


    ¡°I¡¯m looking at you,¡± he says, and myughter dries up. ¡°I love looking at you, Laine.¡±


    He examines me, up and down, taking in every single gawky part of me, and I try not to worry about my little breasts, the weird-shaped birthmark on my thigh, or my bony knees. I try not to worry about whether I¡¯ll be good enough. ¡°You¡¯re so very beautiful. You have no idea.¡±


    ¡°Kelly Anne says I¡¯m not sexy. She says I¡¯m cute, like a doll, but not sexy. I don¡¯t do sexy, though¡­¡± I admit, and I¡¯m rambling. Nerves. ¡°I¡¯m sick of hearing what that idiot Kelly Anne says,¡± he says, and my eyes widen. ¡°You¡¯re sexy and you¡¯re cute. You¡¯re everything she¡¯d want to be if she wasn¡¯t putting it out to anyone who¡¯ll have her after a few tequs.¡±


    I¡¯m so aware of myself. So aware of the skinny jeans Nick bought me, and my baby pink cami and fluffy cardigan. So aware that I don¡¯t look dressed for this, despite hispliments and the warmth they give me inside. ¡°Should I, um¡­ change? Into something more¡­¡± I begin, but he shakes his head.


    ¡°No. You¡¯re perfect just as you are.¡± Perfect.


    I want to feel perfect.


    I want to be perfect¡­ for him.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m doing¡­¡± I take a breath. ¡°I hope I¡¯m not rubbish¡­ I hope you¡¯re not¡­¡±


    ¡°Shh,¡± he says, and my heart leaps as he moves towards me.


    He¡¯s so tall, towering above me as he closes the distance. I can smell him. Woody and deep. I love the way he smells.


    He tips his face up to mine and my breathes in shallow little gulps.


    ¡°Rx,¡± he whispers, and his head dips enough that his breath tickles my ear. His hands slide to my shoulders and squeeze, and it feels so right.


    I feel the firmness of his chest through his shirt. The warmth of his fingers as they slip inside my cardigan and push it from my shoulders. I feel it crumple around my feet.


    ¡°My beautiful girl¡­¡± he whispers, and the husk in his tone makes my legs go quivery.


    His breath is a warm rhythm, his lips pressing to my skin, and it makes me shiver with wonderful shivers. I wrap my arms around his neck, the fine hairs prickling as he kisses so lightly along my jawline.


    He pulls away, then pauses, eyes on mine, and I fidget, wet my lips, shuffle from foot to foot.


    His eyes stay firm, right on target. My breath is so shallow and he is so steady.


    He moves slowly. Lowers his head slowly.


    And then his mouthnds right on mine.


    The world stops moving. At that moment. Stops.


    One long perfect moment.


    And the butterflies go crazy.


    His kiss is firm. Strong like him. Lips warm and soft.


    His tongue pushes inside my mouth, and he lets out a groan, and I love that. I love the way it sounds. I love the way his tongue feels, too. Hot and just the right amount of wet. I love the way it moves around mine, the way he pushes so deep. I kiss him like I think I should, my tongue twisting with his, my eyes closed tight as I take it all in. I¡¯m making little noises, and my fingers tangle in his hair, and that¡¯s soft too.


    He doesn¡¯t stop kissing me as he holds me tight and walks me backward. My ankle catches on one of Jane¡¯s stuffed toys, and I stumble, but he¡¯s got me. He holds me steady, guides me back a step at a time until I feel Jane¡¯s bed against my legs, and then he breaks the kiss. Pulls away with soft presses of his lips to mine.


    I open my eyes and he¡¯s smiling. My lips feel puffy and tingly, and my cheeks burn hot as I smile back at him.


    He runs his fingers through my hair, and I gasp as he pulls tight. He tips my head up, and I¡¯m staring, staring at how strong he looks, how different he looks.


    ¡°You¡¯re such a good girl, Laine,¡± he tells me, and my heart lifts for him.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to take care of you. That¡¯s what you want, isn¡¯t it?¡± I nod, and the way my hair pulls in his fist catches my breath.


    ¡°You want to be my good girl, don¡¯t you?¡±


    There¡¯s something in the way he says it. Something that makes me feel floaty.


    ¡°Yes.¡± I nod again, and he pulls my hair tighter.


    ¡°A firm hand, Laine. That¡¯s what you need, isn¡¯t it? Someone to look after you. Someone to watch out for you. Someone to love you and nurture you.¡±


    ¡°Yes¡­ yes, I do,¡± I tell him, and that makes the ticklese harder.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be scared,¡± he says, and there¡¯s that tone. That caring tone.


    ¡°There¡¯s no need to be scared. No need to be nervous.¡±T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.

 Chapter 41

    He lets go of my hair, and once again his fingers glide to my shoulders and squeeze. I feel the tension slipping away from me. His touch makes me feel so wanted, so loved.


    I take a breath as his hands move down. Slowly. His fingers hook inside my cami and tug it down, and my stomach churns inside.


    I feel so self-conscious in my in bra, white and dull with just a little trim ofce. I wish I¡¯d have picked something more raunchy, something more¡­ anything, but the look in his eyes tells me he doesn¡¯t care. He doesn¡¯t care one bit.


    The look in his eyes tells me he likes it.


    His thumbs brush my nipples through the fabric, and I can¡¯t help but gasp; it feels so good I have to clench my thighs. He notices, and his smile is so bright and so dark at the same time.


    ¡°That¡¯s it,¡± he whispers, and his thumbs stroke back and forth, tiny little movements that send little sparkles down to my clit. My nipples are hard, his thumbs catching, and I gasp again when he stops. I don¡¯t want him to stop.


    He lifts my top up and over my head. My hair swishes as the fabric pulls free, and I feel so exposed, standing before him with my little nipples poking out through my bra.


    His hands are so hot on my bare stomach, my skin tingling as his fingers sweep up my ribs. I find myself leaning back, rolling my shoulders to show more of myself than is there, but his hands cup my little breasts, and nothing can hide how small they are. He thumbs again. Back and forth again. I¡¯m clenching my thighs again, with quiet little gaspsing out with my breaths.


    ¡°Beautiful,¡± he whispers, and his hands snake to my back. A sh of nerves as he unhooks the sp, and my bra falls free. He drops it to the floor, and I look down at myself as he stares. My nipples are hard little peaks. They look so pink against my pale skin. ¡°You have such beautiful breasts, Laine. Beautiful.¡± I love the way he sounds so¡­ mature.


    In control. He sounds so in control.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I say, and I¡¯m biting my lip as he rolls my little tits in his fingers, squeezing flesh that is barely there, tugging at nipples that send crazy sparks right through me.


    He groans, and it¡¯s so horny I can feel it in my pussy. ¡°Such pretty little tits, Laine. Sweet little nipples, so pink. They¡¯re perfect. I knew they¡¯d be perfect.¡±


    I make a little squeak that I hope sounds grateful.


    ¡°Look,¡± he says, and I do. I stare down at him ying with my nipples, and his hands seem so big, his fingers so strong as they pinch and pluck and flick at me. ¡°Divine,¡± he says. ¡°You¡¯re simply divine, little Laine.¡±


    He tugs at them again and my clit sparks so crazily that I think I coulde. Right here, right now, still in my jeans with nothing but his hands on my tits. My clit¡¯s fluttering so hard I¡¯m clenching my thighs, over and over, rocking my hips to press myself against the denim seam.


    ¡°Good girl,¡± he says. ¡°Tell me that feels good.¡±


    I nod. ¡°It feels really good.¡±


    He presses his knee to my thighs and I gasp as he makes me part them. He hitches me onto him, his thigh hot and firm between mine, and his hand grips my ass, encouraging me to grind myself as his other hand presses to my ribs, and coaxes me to arch my back.


    Unsteady. I feel unsteady. But it feels too good to care.


    I rub myself against Nick¡¯s thigh as my little tits stand proud of him. His breath is in my face, hot and steady as he presses my nipple and circles, and it feels so good I¡¯m not nervous anymore. I moan as he twists and pinches, and I¡¯m asking for more, asking for harder, and I don¡¯t even know what I want, I just want more.


    He hitches me tighter against him, and I feel him. Feel his hardness against my belly. I rub myself faster, pressing myself tight, hoping he likes the way it feels, hoping he feels horny like I do. And he must, because his breathing gets faster, and his fingers get rougher, squeezing at my tit until I suck in breath.


    ¡°Yes¡­¡± I grip at his shoulders for leverage. ¡°Please¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s my good girl,¡± he growls. ¡°My sweet little horny girl.¡±


    I can¡¯t stop. Rubbing myself against him so fast. The denim of my jeans straining and the ridge of his dick feeling so big against my tummy.


    ¡°I¡¯m gonna¡­¡± I begin, but I can¡¯t finish. I don¡¯t think I can say it. ¡°I think I¡¯m gonna¡­¡±


    ¡°Come,¡± he says. ¡°Come for me like a good girl, Laine. Come for me!¡± And I do.


    My clit does that fluttery thing that makes me gasp for breath, and I¡¯m clenching and making little noises and rubbing so hard.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    I¡¯m humping Nick¡¯s leg like I¡¯m in heat, and he wants it. I feel his dick tensing, pressing so hard.


    He pinches my nipples, one after the other and I squeal for more, and then a tremor runs through me.


    I shudder and squeak and rub and cry out, and I¡¯ve never orgasmed like this. Never so hard.


    He groans, and his hand is mmy against my back, his breath hot against my face as I slump against him, trying to gather my breath. Trying to gather my scattered thoughts.


    ¡°Good girl,¡± he rasps, and I love it. I love it when he calls me that.


    My heart is racing so fast that I start giggling.


    ¡°That was amazing,¡± I tell him. ¡°Thank you. Wow, just¡­ wow.¡±


    I¡¯m smiling as I meet his eyes, and his are still burning, still fierce.


    ¡°That was barely the beginning, sweet Laine,¡± he says, and his fingers reach for the button on my jeans.

 Chapter 42

    NICK


    My beautiful girl¡¯s eyes as so wide as I unbutton her jeans. Her cheeks flushed and her breath short as I pulled down the zipper and slid the denim down her legs.


    Her knickers are perfect. in white cotton, understated and innocent.


    She¡¯s perfect.


    She steps out of the jeans so gracefully, and she still has her socks on, fluffy and pink and cute enough to make my cock twitch.


    I drop to my knees, my face so close to her sweet pussy, hidden by damp knickers, and my breathnds right where I know she¡¯s so tender. Dainty fingers brush my scalp, twist in my hair, and she murmurs.


    ¡°Show me,¡± I whisper, and my hands grip her pale thighs so firmly, coaxing her until she shifts her legs apart.


    Her skin is mmy on the inside of her thighs. I smile at the sweetest little birthmark. Not far below her pussy. It¡¯s almost like a heart.


    I can see the promise of hair through the cotton, darker than the perfect blonde on her head, and it takes every scrap of restraint not to tear those knickers down and gorge on her sweet little cunt.


    But slowly. Softly.


    Gently.


    I press my nose to the damp cotton and breathe in deep, and she smells divine. My sigh of pleasure tells her so, and her fingers tighten on my scalp.


    ¡°Nick¡­¡± she whispers before her voice trails off.


    That will have to stop.


    But not now.


    Not this moment.


    She tenses as I press my lips to her through the fabric. Whimpers as I rub my nose up and down, over the hard little clit I know is so horny for me. I taste her wetness, my tongue pushing at her through damp cotton, and I hold her tight, my hands on her firm little ass, squeezing and stroking as Ip at her knickers.


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± she whispers. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ ah¡­¡±


    I suck at her. Grip her knickers in my teeth and tug, then suck some more.


    She¡¯s squirmy in my hands, breathless again, letting out the little murmurs I love so much. I ease her thighs further apart, and she presses her pussy to my mouth like such a greedy little girl.


    Yes. She¡¯s a greedy little girl.


    My greedy little girl.


    My cock fucking loves that.


    I hook the stic and peel her knickers down so slowly. She closes her legs as I slide them over her ankles, and she¡¯s nervous again, shielding her most delicate treasure.


    I stare up at her until she meets my eyes, and then I shake my head. ¡°No,¡± I say. ¡°Never hide yourself from me. I want to see you.¡± She gives me a little nod, but her thighs stay closed.


    ¡°Everything, Laine,¡± I tell her, and my voice is firm. ¡°Show me that beautiful pussy.¡±All rights ? N?velDrama.Org.


    She takes a deep breath and shuffles her feet wide, her sweet young slit glistening pink and perfect.


    ¡°Stunning,¡± I tell her. ¡°You¡¯re stunning, Laine. So sweet.¡± I lean in and touch my tongue to her naked flesh, and she¡¯s soft and wet and delicious. I flick my tongue a little and she gasps a shuddery breath. ¡°You taste divine, Laine. Divine.¡±


    ¡°I do?¡± she says and I smile up at her innocence.


    I tease my fingers up the inside of her thighs. So softly, I brush the delicate petals and spread them wide until she¡¯s raw and exposed. Her clit is a glorious bud, swollen and ripe, paddling in her excitement and begging to be sucked.


    I blow a warm breath on her and she squirms. Tugs at my hair.


    ¡°Nick¡­ please¡­¡±


    Her head is tipped back, and I know her eyes are closed. I know she¡¯ll be screwing them shut as I run the point of my tongue along her slit and fasten my mouth so tightly on her puffy little mound. I stare up at her as I suck, and she¡¯s gasping so delightfully that I can¡¯t help palming my cock through my trousers.


    Her fine nest of dark blonde hair tickles my nose. Her scent is the most heavenly nectar, hitting me right in the temples as my tongue probes to find her innocence. I daren¡¯t push in too far. Daren¡¯t spoil that sweet virgin pussy.


    I press a hand to her belly and tell her to lie down on the bed. On Jane¡¯s bed.


    ¡°On your back,¡± I say. ¡°Legs to your chest, nice and wide.¡±


    Her eyes are on mine as she positions herself like a good girl, hooking her elbows under her knees and holding them tight. Her fluffy pink socks are cute enough to fucking die for. I kneel up on the bed beneath her, and her pussy is presented so eagerly. How I¡¯d love to free my cock and push in deep, breaking that tight virgin hole and taking her hard enough that she knows without any doubt who she belongs to.


    But her eyes tell me she knows that anyway. They¡¯re hooded, eyshes fluttering. There¡¯s a shy smile on her lips, a look of adoration that makes my fucking heart pound.


    ¡°Are you going to¡­¡± she begins.


    I shake my head. ¡°Slowly, Laine.¡±


    She nods and takes a breath. ¡°I love it¡­ when you have your mouth there¡­¡±


    ¡°Me too, Laine.¡± I brush a thumb across her pretty pink pussy, circle her clit and she moans for me. I tease at her downy hair and ansmileismileme. ¡°I¡¯m going to shave you,¡± I tell her. ¡°Make you nice and smooth. Just right for licking.¡±


    She nods, and smiles back at me, her cheeks glowing. ¡°Like a baby.¡± Like a little girl.


    The thought is right there, in my filthy mind. Sweet little Laine with a sweet-shaven virgin pussy.


    I spread her lips, and lower myself onto all fours, my face so close to her gorgeous untouched little cunt. So carefully I ease her open, just enough to see inside. She¡¯s intact, the delicate pink of her hymen such a beautiful promise. My mouth waters and my cock strains for release.


    I lower my face and taste her. Push my tongue inside just a little, just enough.


    ¡°I¡¯m ready,¡± she whispers. ¡°If you want to¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh, I want to,¡± I say. ¡°But there¡¯s so much to do, Laine. So many pleasures to show you.¡±


    I grip her clit between my fingers, and she cries out as I suck it into my mouth. I suck so carefully, bringing up the pressure as she squirms, that little bud swelling in my mouth as her pussy clenches.


    She drops her knees, and her fluffy heels dig into the bed, raising her to grind back at me. I snake my arms under her ass and hold her tight, and her hands are in my hair, tugging as she begs me for harder. She whimpers like a good little girl, asking so nicely, and I suck. Hard. Suck until she¡¯s panting, suck until her fingers are digging into my scalp and her feet are thrashing against the covers.


    I suck until she cries out, loud, and my sweet little Laine swears.


    ¡°Fuck¡­ fuck, fuck, fuck¡­¡±

 Chapter 43

    I suck until she¡¯s crested, until she¡¯s holding her breath and her body is tense, wired tight as she unravels. And then she rxes, lets all the tension out in one long sigh.


    She jumps as I tap her pussy.


    Just a light tap. A warning shot. Enough to make her startle.


    ¡°Potty mouth,¡± I growl. ¡°Dirty little girl.¡±


    Her eyes are so wide as she stares at me, unsure whether I¡¯m serious or not. I see the worry y across her lips.


    ¡°Are you a dirty little girl, Laine?¡±


    She bites her lip. Shakes her head, so unsure.


    So innocent.


    ¡°I think you¡¯re a dirty little girl.¡± I smile a dirty smile, and I can¡¯t control the beast. I can¡¯t fight the dark urges that want to consume her, soil her, corrupt her, break her, and make her mine.


    All mine.


    ¡°I like¡­¡± she begins.


    ¡°What? What do you like?¡±


    She pauses, her eyes sparkling so beautifully, her pussy still clenching and glistening. ¡°I like¡­ everything¡­ I want¡­ I want to be good¡­¡± ¡°You¡¯re going to be my good little dirty girl, are you?¡± She nods. ¡°I¡¯ll be whatever you want me to be¡­¡± Oh fuck.


    My cock jerks, my balls tight enough to blow.


    She must notice my grimace, because her eyes travel down, over my creased shirt to the bulge between my legs.


    She licks her lips, and her eyes sh with a dirty kind of devilment that takes my breath.


    Dirty innocence. It¡¯s the most intoxicating kind.


    ¡°Can I see?¡± she asks, in the sweetest voice. ¡°Can I see you?¡± She raises herself on her elbows, and she¡¯s smiling. ¡°Please¡­¡±


    I kneel up, my fingers working down my shirt buttons, but she moves like a quick little mouse, her fingers pushing mine out of the way.


    They¡¯re shaking as she unbuttons my shirt.


    Her cheeks are rosy as she slips it from my shoulders.


    Her little fingers run down my chest, pressing against the ridges.


    ¡°You¡¯re so¡­ firm¡­¡± she says.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I like to keep fit,¡± I tell her.


    She nods, and her eyes meet mine for a moment as she brushes my nipple.


    ¡°You can touch me,¡± I say. ¡°Touch me however you want.¡± Her hands gain confidence, stroking and prodding and pinching.


    ¡°You¡¯re amazing¡­¡± she whispers. ¡°You¡¯re everything¡­¡±


    I quiet her with my mouth, my lips pressing to hers before my tongue pushes inside. I tip her backward and follow her, and her fingers snake instinctively to my belt.


    I unbuckle for her, and pull out my cock, kissing her hard as I wrap her sweet little fingers around my shaft. I move her hands, up and down, nice and slowly.


    ¡°Like that,¡± I groan into her mouth. ¡°Just like that.¡±


    ¡°I want to see it,¡± she whispers. ¡°Please¡­¡±


    I press a hand to her ribs as I lift myself from her. Adjust her thighs so I can see her pretty cunt as her fingers work my dick. And she stares at my cock with wide-eyed wonder.


    ¡°It¡¯s big¡­¡± she says. ¡°It feels so nice.¡±


    ¡°It feels a lot nicer like this,¡± I say, and press the head against her slit.


    She sucks in her breath but I smile, and slide it up to her clit. I rub my cock against her wet little bud, and her palms press to my thighs.


    I reach for her, my hand slipping behind her head to take her hair, supporting her weight so firmly.


    ¡°Look,¡± I grunt. ¡°Look how hard I am for your sweet little pussy.¡± ¡°Do it,¡± she whispers.


    Back and forth I brush my swollen fucking cock, over that sensitive little nub until she¡¯s panting all over again.


    ¡°I need toe,¡± I tell her.


    ¡°Please¡­ yes¡­¡±


    ¡°Come with me¡­¡± I drop her to her back and lower myself back in position. My belly presses to hers, and her pretty little nipples feel so sweet against my chest.


    ¡°I can¡¯t¡­¡± she whispers. ¡°I¡¯m so¡­ fluttery¡­¡±


    ¡°You can,¡± I tell her. ¡°I promise you, you can.¡± I pause. ¡°And you will.


    Again, Laine. Come for me again.¡±


    I rub, back and forth, my dick pinned between my stomach and her pussy, grinding hard, taking so much fucking care not to spear that tight little cunt and fill her up with my cum.


    She wraps her legs around my waist and moves as I move. Her hands wrap around my neck and hold tight, eyes closed and mouth open as she gasps and moans and whimpers.


    ¡°I¡¯m gonnae all over your sweet little pussy, Laine.¡±


    ¡°Yes¡­¡± she whispers. ¡°Oh God, please¡­ please, Nick¡­¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t call me that,¡± I growl, and I¡¯m on the edge, right on the fucking edge.


    ¡°What shall I call you?¡± she asks, and I hear it in her voice, I hear she¡¯s thinking it, too.


    It¡¯s in the little tremor, the sweet little hint of lust.


    My breath is erratic, my cock pulsing as my balls tighten, ready to fucking blow. And I say it. I just fucking say it. ¡°Call me Daddy,¡± I growl. ¡°You can call me Daddy.¡± She tenses, shudders, and writhes against me.


    She likes it.


    I knew she would.


    A moaning, squirming, delicious little angel.


    I thrust, pin her hard, unloading my cum all over her tender little cunt, and she¡¯s right there with me, whimpering little squeals into my ear.


    I copse onto her, dick slick with my cum as it smears between us, and I feel her heartbeat against mine, so fast.


    Her fingers y with my hair, her mouth to my ear. I hear her breathing.


    Her breath was so fast.


    She kisses me, her lips pressing so gently to my temple. ¡°Thank you¡­ Daddy.¡±

 Chapter 44

    NICK


    She¡¯s so small in my arms. Her dainty little limbs holding me so tight. Her hair smells of apples, nestled under my chin as she snuggles under the bedcovers.


    Her breathing is so even. A sweet calmness I¡¯ve not seen in her before.


    I guess three orgasms do that to a girl.


    The beauty of this¡­ this tenderness I feel with her beside me, goes someway to disarming the uneasy feeling in my stomach.


    I¡¯ve crossed a line. A big line. A line that makes me feel like a depraved excuse for a man.


    And yet little Laine rests so peacefully, presses her body to mine with a devotion I¡¯ve missed for so long.


    She moves, and her hair tickles my chin. I feel her eyes on me in the darkness.


    ¡°You should be asleep,¡± I tell her.


    She sighs, and her little fingers stroke my arm. ¡°Was I ok?¡±


    I hold her tight. ¡°You were more than ok, you were perfect.¡±


    She presses her lips to my corbone. ¡°You were perfect, too. You were everything.¡±


    Everything.


    I¡¯ve waited so long to be someone¡¯s everything.


    I stretch out my legs, her toes rub against them and she sighs a sweet little sigh, and there¡¯s a part of me that wants to draw a line under this murky half-light between lover and father. A part of me that wants to pick her up and carry her through to my actual bedroom, with its big double bed, and its neutral decor, and close the door to Jane¡¯s room forever.


    But I can¡¯t. The need to love her as the captivating, innocent little soul in pink is far too strong.


    ¡°Daddy¡­¡± she whispers. ¡°I¡¯ve always wanted a daddy.¡±


    A thrill of lust ripples through me, more than enough to counter my self-revulsion.


    ¡°I¡¯ll take care of you like any good father should,¡± I tell her. ¡°You¡¯re safe here. You¡¯ll always be safe with me.¡±


    ¡°I know,¡± she says. ¡°I like it¡­ I like calling you that¡­¡±


    I¡¯m done for, my dick twitching at the desire to hear her say it again.


    ¡°Daddy.¡± Her voice is nothing but a breath. ¡°Can I call you that?¡±


    ¡°Do you want to?¡±


    She nods, and I feel her smile against my skin. ¡°Yes.¡± She pulls away enough to search my face in the darkness. ¡°As long as that doesn¡¯t¡­ change anything¡­ because I want¡­ I want¡­¡±


    ¡°Shh,¡± I say and brush my fingers through her hair. ¡°Nothing will change anything. We¡¯re just¡­¡± I struggle to find the words. ¡°Different,


    Laine. We¡¯re different. Two people who find what they need in each other.


    In the most¡­ unusual of circumstances.¡±


    ¡°Fate,¡± she says, and it sounds so simple. ¡°It¡¯s fate. I know it is.¡± ¡°Fate,¡± I repeat.


    I want to believe her. I find no fate in numbers, bncing books, or managing a business. I find nothing but cold hard logic behind every aspect of my life. Apart from her. In her beautiful innocence. In her wide eyes, and her sweet smile.


    I find fate here, in my arms.


    ¡°Daddy,¡± she whispers so softly. ¡°Yes, sweetheart?¡±


    ¡°When will we¡­ you know¡­¡±


    I seek out her lips and kiss her gently. Tasting her breath. Breathing in apples and innocence.


    ¡°Soon,¡± I say. ¡°Now go to sleep, like a good girl.¡± She wriggles against me with a contented sigh.


    ¡°Yes, Daddy.¡±


    LAINE


    I wake to an empty bed, but it smells of him, all woody and dark and musky. I pull the covers to my nose and breathe him in, and there¡¯s a thrill to my toes.


    Daddy. Daddy Nick. And he loves me.


    I can still feel his hands on me, and his mouth, the way it felt so good.


    The way he made it feel. He makes everything feel good.


    ¡°Wake up, sleepyhead! Breakfast¡¯s up!¡±


    His voice is so loud from downstairs. It makes me smile, and I can¡¯t move fast enough, jumping out of bed and throwing on my dressing gown. Iugh to myself as I realize I¡¯ve still got silly socks on. Toasty feet.


    He¡¯s dressed for work as I join him at the table, and he¡¯s smiling his serious smile again, looking so dapper and fine with his hair so slick.


    ¡°Bacon and eggs. Yummy.¡± I take my knife and fork, and his eyes burn my cheeks.


    ¡°You look cute,¡± he says. ¡°Like a disheveled little elf.¡±


    I brush my hair down with my fingers. ¡°You look like a Rolex advert.¡±


    Heughs. ¡°I do, do I?¡±


    I nod. ¡°I like it.¡± I can¡¯t stop looking at him, and my clit feels tingly, wanting more, wanting his cock inside me for the first time, wanting to stay in bed and do it all over again, all day long.


    He must be able to tell, because his smile turns dark, his eyes stern.


    ¡°Eat your breakfast all up, little Laine,¡± he says, ¡°never any waste in this household.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡± I smile as I cut up my bacon, and he¡¯s still staring as I take a swig of juice.


    ¡°Ok, what?¡±


    My heart flutters. And I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ve got it right but I say it anyway.


    ¡°Ok, Daddy.¡±


    I got it right. His smile tells me so.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°That¡¯s my good girl,¡± he says.


    It feels the best thing in the world to be his good girl.


    I eat my breakfast all up, just like Daddy wants me to.

 Chapter 45

    He kisses me on the head outside the college gates, and part of me is disappointed, wanting to feel his tongue in my mouth and his hands in my hair.


    ¡°I¡¯ll call you at lunchtime,¡± he tells me. ¡°And I¡¯ll pick you up at the usual time. Don¡¯t bete.¡±


    I nod. ¡°I won¡¯t. Thanks, Daddy. See youter.¡±


    It still feels so weird, still gives me this tingle in my belly every time I say it.


    I¡¯m grinning as Kelly Anne catches me up in the corridor, lost in my little world as she shunts into my back.


    ¡°Hey!¡± she says. ¡°Earth to Laine! I¡¯ve been yelling after you right through the fucking car park.¡±


    I shrug. ¡°Didn¡¯t hear you, sorry.¡±


    She groans. ¡°Your head¡¯s too busy floating away after the creepy old guy. Urgh, I saw him kiss you.¡± She pulls a face at the lunchbox in my arms. ¡°What you got today? Human spleen on wholemeal?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be stupid.¡±


    Sheughs like it¡¯s funny. ¡°He¡¯s a bit Hannibal, don¡¯t you think? My sweet rice¡­ are thembs still screaming¡­¡± She groans again, an over-the-top sound that grates at me. ¡°Just because he drives a sh car and buys you shit doesn¡¯t mean he¡¯s not a ss-A weirdo.¡±


    It¡¯s her expression, one I haven¡¯t seen on her before. I guess it¡¯s a little in the shift of her feet, too. The way she shuffles, the scowl beneath her stupid jokes.


    She¡¯s jealous.


    And I can¡¯t believe it, I can¡¯t believe Kelly Anne is jealous of me.


    ¡°He¡¯s nice,¡± I tell her. ¡°He¡¯s nice.¡±


    ¡°Nice and creepy¡­¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Nice and nice. Kind and strong and considerate and thoughtful and loving.¡±


    ¡°Loving?¡± She raises her eyebrows. ¡°Oh my God, did he¡­ touch you?


    Major gross-out.¡±


    I¡¯m a bad person, I must be, because I want to tell her everything, want to tell her all about how amazing he made me feel, how good he was, and how much he loves me. I want to tell her that it¡¯s fate, and I love him and he loves me, and he¡¯s going to take care of me, hold me tight, and make my lunch every day, and take my virginity and it¡¯s going to be everything I ever wanted, not some crappy fumble with Kyle Vickers behind the school bins like hers was.


    ¡°Laine¡­¡± she prompts. ¡°Did he..? Are you..? Jeez, don¡¯t tell me you finally ditched the V-card?¡±


    I tug her elbow and pull her to the side of the corridor. ¡°No. Not yet. But


    I will.¡±


    She rolls her eyes. ¡°For real? You and Hannibal? So many hot guys out there and you pick the creepy old dude. Daddy issues much?¡± My cheeks are on fire. My whole body feels on fire.


    ¡°That¡¯s what this is, right?¡± Sheughs. ¡°Daddy issues.¡± She pretends to suck her thumb and I get an icky rush of butterflies. ¡°Ooh, Daddy, that feels so nice, Daddy. I¡¯ll be a good little girl, Daddy.¡±


    ¡°Stop it,¡± I say. ¡°It was nice. The whole thing was amazing.¡±


    She props herself against the wall and acts like the big, cool girl. ¡°The whole thing? So spill, oh virginal one, what is the whole thing?¡±


    She¡¯s ruining it. My only friend, my only confidante, even if she¡¯s always been a shit one, and she¡¯s ruining it.


    ¡°Forget it,¡± I mumble and make to move past her.


    She grabs my arm. ¡°Hey, Laine. Chill, I¡¯m only goofing around.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not funny.¡±


    She looks so shocked as I scowl another, and it¡¯s about time. It¡¯s about time I let her know she¡¯s being a fucking asshole.


    ¡°It¡¯s a fucking joke, alright?¡± She sighs like I¡¯m the unreasonable one.


    ¡°I¡¯m serious, I want to know. If it¡¯s a big deal for you, it¡¯s a big deal for me.¡±


    If only that were true. That¡¯s never been true.


    I shrug, and why not? She¡¯s the best I¡¯ve got.


    ¡°It was nice,¡± I say. ¡°He was considerate, and respectful, and took it slow¡­¡±


    ¡°And¡­¡± Her hands are egging me on. ¡°Juicy gossip, please¡­¡±


    I lower my voice. ¡°He kissed me¡­¡±


    ¡°Yes, and¡­¡±


    ¡°And it was amazing.¡± I can¡¯t stop smiling. ¡°He was amazing. He kissed me, and touched me, and¡­¡± I checked there was nobody close. ¡°And he put his mouth on me, and sucked my clit until I came, and then he put his


    dick there, and it was massive¡­ really big¡­¡±


    Sheughs. ¡°How would you know?¡±


    Iugh right back. ¡°I¡¯m not a total baby, you know. I¡¯ve watched pornography, just like you do.¡±


    ¡°The very fact you call it pornography says it all.¡±


    ¡°But he is,¡± I continue. ¡°He¡¯s big. And it felt amazing.¡±


    ¡°But he didn¡¯t fuck you, with this big giant cock of his?¡± She raises an eyebrow.


    I grin. ¡°Not yet, but he will.¡±


    She groans. ¡°So what did he do with it?¡±


    The memoriese back, and so do the tingles, the feeling of him, rubbing, and making those noises. The sound of the bed creaking.


    ¡°He rubbed me¡­ right against my clit¡­ and I came¡­ and he came¡­¡±


    ¡°He fucking dry-humped you?!¡±


    I shrug. ¡°It wasn¡¯t so dry¡­¡±


    ¡°Gross,¡± she says, but she¡¯s lying. She¡¯s scowling again.


    I sigh and hug my lunchbox to my chest. ¡°I love him.¡±


    ¡°Excuse me? You fucking what?!¡±


    I smile. Simply. ¡°I love him.¡±


    She stares at me like I¡¯m a simpleton. Mum stares at me like that, too, and I hate it. I always hate it. ¡°I mean it,¡± I tell her. ¡°I love him, and he loves me.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t even know him,¡± she snaps.


    ¡°I know enough,¡± I snap back. ¡°It¡¯s fate.¡±


    ¡°Not those fucking horoscopes again¡­¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t need horoscopes to tell me it¡¯s fate,¡± I insist. ¡°I already know.


    And he knows it, too.¡±


    ¡°Then you¡¯re both fucking cray cray.¡± She spins a finger in the air.


    ¡°He¡¯s going to be the one,¡± I say, and I don¡¯t give a shit anymore. Not what she thinks, nor what she says. Not at how she looks at me, or how Mum looks at me, or how anyone else in the whole world looks at me.


    None of it matters, not now I have Nick. Daddy.


    Not now I have someone who loves me.


    ¡°Fine,¡± Kelly Anne says finally and lets out a sigh. ¡°If you insist on being cray cray with Hannibal-old-guy then you do that. Just let me have all the juicy gossip, deal?¡±


    I think I¡¯ve won some invisible battle, and I¡¯m not even sure what I was fighting.


    ¡°Sure,¡± I say. ¡°But his name¡¯s Nick.¡±


    ¡°Daddy Nick,¡± sheughs, and I¡¯m sure my burning cheeks are going to give me away, but she ps me on the back and doesn¡¯t even notice. ¡°Alright,¡± she says. ¡°Now, let¡¯s talk about blowjobs, I¡¯ve got some great techniques¡­¡±

 Chapter 46

    LAINE


    NICK¡¯S smiling when I slip into the passenger seat, and I can¡¯t stop giggling as Kelly Anne¡¯s silly-arse blowjob techniques shback through my mind.


    ¡°What?¡± he asks. ¡°What¡¯s got you so tickled?¡±


    I shake my head and try to stop, but he leans toward me, his eyes so questioning, and it¡¯s too much. It¡¯s much too much.


    ¡°Kelly Anne,¡± I say, and he sighs before I¡¯ve even started. ¡°No!¡± I tell him, ¡°It¡¯s funny. She was, um¡­ trying to teach me¡­ in the toilets¡­¡± He raises an eyebrow. ¡°Trying to teach you what exactly, Laine?¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    The giggles stop as I realize I¡¯vemitted myself to share the stupid story. And with thates the truth that I¡¯ve been bbing about us, about what we did. It feels like I¡¯ve done wrong somehow like I shouldn¡¯t be talking about that, and I guess my expression says so because his eyes won¡¯t leave mine.


    ¡°What, Laine?¡±


    I shrug. ¡°I, um¡­ I told Kelly Anne, some things.¡±


    He nods. ¡°Some things about us?¡±


    I tap the empty lunchbox in myp. ¡°I won¡¯t tell her anything else¡­ not if it¡¯s private¡­¡±


    ¡°Do you want us to be private?¡±


    I shrug again. ¡°If that¡¯s what you want¡­¡±


    His hand rests on my arm. ¡°That¡¯s not answering my question. Do you want us to be private?¡±


    I don¡¯t. I don¡¯t want us to be private. I want to shout it from the rooftops, show the whole world that a man like Nick loves me, and I¡¯m his and he¡¯s mine. But I don¡¯t say that. The words don¡¯te, so I shake my head, hoping my eyes tell him all that.


    ¡°No,¡± I say. ¡°I don¡¯t want us to be private, like we¡¯re doing something wrong. I want it to be¡­ real¡­¡±


    He smiles. ¡°It is real. We¡¯re real.¡± His fingers squeezed my elbow. ¡°I have no problem with you telling Kelly Anne about us, Laine, but you should be aware that aspects of our¡­ rtionship¡­ may make people ufortable.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t tell her about¡­ those bits¡­¡± I admit, and my cheeks are on fire.


    ¡°Probably for the best.¡± He squeezes again. ¡°I¡¯m not ashamed, sweetheart, but we¡¯re unorthodox. Our rtionship is unorthodox. Be prepared for what that means, should it get out somehow.¡±


    ¡°It won¡¯t¡­¡± I tell him. ¡°I¡¯d only talk to Kelly Anne, and she¡¯d¡­¡± ¡°She¡¯d what?¡±


    I don¡¯t want to say it, but I do. ¡°She¡¯dugh, or be super picked out. She wouldn¡¯t get it.¡±


    Heughs, and it surprises me. ¡°Super picked out could arguably be the right response to a situation like ours. Daddy y is¡­ niche, Laine, so niche that most people just wouldn¡¯t understand.¡±


    Iugh with him, but I¡¯m shaking my head. ¡°No! It¡¯s not super icky, not at all! I like it¡­ it¡¯s just¡­¡±


    ¡°A little bit icky?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I fidget in my seat. ¡°I meant it¡¯s private, not icky.¡±


    Daddy y. The words spin in my brain, and they make sense. That¡¯s what this is. It¡¯s Daddy¡¯s y. I saw that on Jerry Springer once, years ago, some grown-up woman in pigtails, coloring in while this guy talked to Jerry about how she was his little-y or something.


    It made me feel squirmy, all weird and hot, and then so guilty when Mumughed about it and said how gross it was. Window cleaner guy, that¡¯s who she said it to. And he hadn¡¯t said a word, just stared in my direction.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go home,¡± Nick says, and my thoughts are right back with him. He¡¯s looking at me so intently as he puts the car in gear like he knows I¡¯m feeling all squirmy again at the memory.


    I nod. ¡°Home sounds real good.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he says. ¡°It does.¡±


    And in that moment he¡¯s that Nick again. The Daddy Nick that rubbed his cock against me until he came.


    NICK


    She¡¯s thinking about it, the Daddy y. I can see it all over her face. I can feel it in her wispy little breaths, her eyes staring at me as I make fast work of the drive home.


    She¡¯s thinking about it and she likes it.


    I imagine her horny little clit. Imagine her damp white knickers.


    Imagine the way she¡¯s clenching her thighs under the lunchbox in herp.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to shave you,¡± I tell her.


    ¡°Okay,¡± she says without hesitation, as though I¡¯ve told her we¡¯re having chicken for dinner.


    But I want more than that. My cock is craving a reaction, my cock is craving her. Craving the guilty devilment in her eyes when she knows she¡¯s my horny little girl.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to shave your pretty little cunt, Laine, and then I¡¯m going to suck on that smooth little mound until youe for your daddy like a good girl.¡±


    Her mouth drops open, her cheeks bloom red, and it makes me so fucking hard.


    ¡°That¡¯s what you want, isn¡¯t it? Tell Daddy that¡¯s what you want.¡±


    Her voice is so delicate. ¡°Yes¡­ yes, please¡­¡±


    ¡°I need more than that, Laine¡­Yes please, Daddy. I want you to shave me and lick me, Daddy. I¡¯ll be a good girl, Daddy.¡±


    She shifts in her seat and clears her throat, and her sweet excitement is too much for me. I take her lunchbox and throw it onto the backseat, and my fingers slip between her legs, rubbing at her through the denim of her jeans.


    ¡°Yes please, Daddy,¡± she whispers, so softly, and her legs part, her hips rolling up for more.


    ¡°You like that, Laine? You like being my little girl?¡±


    She nods, her lip pinched between her teeth. It takes all of my restraint to pull my hand away and turn my attention back to the road.


    ¡°I saw it¡­ on the TV¡­¡± Her voice is hushed, confessional. ¡°I saw it¡­ this woman¡­ in pigtails¡­ and this guy¡­ being her daddy¡­¡±


    ¡°Did it make you wet?¡±


    She nods again. ¡°I went to bed and touched myself, and it felt¡­ icky¡­ but nice¡­¡±


    ¡°Dirty,¡± I tell her. ¡°The word is dirty.¡±


    ¡°Dirty¡­¡± she repeats. ¡°It felt dirty¡­ but nice¡­ I couldn¡¯t stop.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to stop. We can y that game forever, Laine. You can be my dirty little girl forever.¡±


    ¡°Forever¡­¡± Dainty fingers reach out and stroke my hand on the gearstick.


    ¡°Daddy¡¯s going to make you his, Laine. Daddy¡¯s going to fuck you, and love you, and punish you when you¡¯re bad. Daddy will take care of you, sweetheart. I¡¯ll make it feel so nice when you¡¯re good, and make it hurt so bad when you¡¯re not. That¡¯s what you need, Laine. Love and discipline.


    That¡¯s what all little girls need from their daddy.¡±


    ¡°Yes, Daddy¡­¡± Her breaths are like gasps. ¡°Please¡­ that¡¯s what I want¡­ that¡¯s what I always wanted¡­ I want this¡­ I want it so bad¡­¡± My cock is straining and my heartbeat is thumping in my temples. Everything is twitching, pounding, and on the verge of exploding, all because of this divine little creature I picked up in the rain.


    I should stop.


    We should stop. Stop this perverted little game we¡¯re ying. But stopping is thest thing I want.

 Chapter 47

    LAINE


    He doesn¡¯t do any of the usual stuff, like head through to the kitchen. He doesn¡¯t head upstairs and take his jacket off and hang it up, or take my lunchbox and put it in the dishwasher. He doesn¡¯t make himself a coffee get me juice, or ask me about my day.


    When Daddy Nick closes the front door today, he takes my hair in his hand and pulls tight until I gasp, and then he kisses me, and his tongue is so rough and so fast, his thigh between mine as he pins me to the wall in the hallway.


    I wonder if this is it. If he¡¯ll take me now.


    If he¡¯ll take me here, with my jeans around my ankles and his tongue in my mouth. I want that. I want it any way he wants to give it to me.


    His fingers tug at my cami top and squeeze my tits through my bra, and he¡¯s so hard against my belly, so hard and so big.


    Suddenly Kelly Anne¡¯s silly techniques don¡¯t seem so silly.


    I want to try them. Every single one of them.


    I open my mouth wide for Daddy and let him push his tongue so deep, squirming against his leg as his fingers tug and pinch at my nipples. I like it.


    I like it so much when he¡¯s rough like this.


    I wonder what it would feel like to be a bad girl and have him punish me, and I like that, too.


    I groan as he pulls away, and his breath is hot on my face. Hot and fast.


    ¡°Upstairs,¡± he orders. ¡°Take your clothes off in the kitchen and wait for me at the table.¡±


    I nod and my tummy lurches as I leave him. He watches me all the way upstairs as the butterflies flutter. My heart thumps as I take off my cardigan on the way, and my cami, too. I fold them and ce them on the chair, then unclip my bra with shaky fingers. I slip down my jeans and step out of them, my knickers, too, and put them on the pile until I¡¯m only in my socks.


    I¡¯m tugging them off when hees into view, and he stares at me.


    Swallows as I pull them free and put them on the chair with my knickers.


    He¡¯s carrying a towel and a bowl.


    And a razor.


    He¡¯s carrying a razor.


    I feel so exposed as hees near. His suit is so fine and his hair is so slick, and mine¡¯s a wispy mess. I brush it from my face as he watches. His eyes glint as he pats the table, and I hitch up and onto it, the wood so hard against my ass.


    ¡°Lie back, legs up,¡± he tells me, and I do as he says, grabbing hold of my knees and holding them tight to my chest like I didst night.


    He rolls me backward and slips a towel under my ass, and it feels so icky¡­ dirty¡­ like I¡¯m a baby on a changing mat, and he¡¯s about to wipe my dirty bottom¡­


    I wonder if he can see my¡­ see it¡­


    I wonder if he wants to¡­


    He runs his fingers down my thighs, all the way to my pussy, and further. And I know then that he can. He can see everything.


    He pulls my ass cheeks apart and it makes me screw my eyes closed, knowing he¡¯s looking at me there¡­ knowing he can see the most private parts of me¡­


    ¡°Rx,¡± he says. ¡°No secrets from Daddy, remember? I want to see everything, know everything. Every beautiful dirty little part of you.¡±


    I feel heady. Nervous. My throat is dry and my feet are twitchy as he runs his thumb across my asshole. My actual asshole. And it tickles, but it¡¯s a nice tickle.


    I don¡¯t know if it should feel this good, but it does¡­ it feels really good.


    ¡°Dirty little girls like Daddy¡¯s cock in their ass, Laine.¡±


    He says it so bluntly, his voice so deep and strong. It makes my toes tingle, to think of him¡­ in there¡­


    ¡°Good little girls are lucky because they get it nice and gentle.¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    The question rolls off my tongue. ¡°And bad little girls..?¡±


    I can hear the smile in his voice. ¡°Be good and you won¡¯t have to find out.¡±


    His thumb, back and forth, pressing into my ass, and I like it. I like being a dirty girl.


    I open my eyes, and he is fixed between my legs, right where he¡¯s touching. He looks so different like this, so dark and sexy and fierce, so different from the Daddy Nick that makes my lunchbox and strokes my hair at night.


    ¡°Wait right here,¡± he says like that¡¯s necessary.


    He picks up the bowl and heads out of view, and I bounce my knees against my chest while I wait. I hear water running, and footsteps, my neck craning for sight of him. Steam rises from the bowl when hees back into view, and there are those tingles in my toes again, those wings beating in my belly.


    I peer down between my thighs as hethers soap into his hands. They feel so warm as they touch against my pussy, so gentle as he rubs suds all over me. He meets my eyes as he takes the razor.


    ¡°Rx, sweetheart. I¡¯ll be careful.¡±


    I nod. ¡°I know you will, Daddy.¡±


    It feels so strange, the sensation of the de against my skin. Long strokes, then short ones, his fingers spreading me open to run the razor between my lips. I trust him so much that it¡¯s easy to rx. I stare in fascination, not fear. Watching him, watching the way he¡¯s so careful and precise, watching the smile on his face as he shaves me bald and makes me so tender.


    I flinch as the razor dips between my ass cheeks, and then I giggle for being so silly.


    ¡°Nice and smooth,¡± he says and runs the de everywhere.


    Everywhere.

 Chapter 48

    He wipes me down with a warm cloth and it feels like tingly heaven. Like my skin¡¯s never been touched before. I want to feel it for myself, but I don¡¯t move, just hold my knees tight like he asked me to.


    ¡°Beautiful,¡± he says. ¡°You¡¯re absolutely beautiful, little Laine.¡±


    He dips his head and blows warm breath on me, and it makes me shudder and squirm.


    ¡°Tingles¡­¡± I whisper. ¡°It all tingles¡­¡±


    He lets out a groan as he presses his lips to my pussy, and it¡¯s so raw that it makes my head spin. His tongue swirls andps at me, his fingers spreading me open until he¡¯s flicking my clit with fast little strokes and I¡¯m gripping my knees so tight my fingers hurt.


    ¡°Yes, Daddy¡­ please¡­¡±


    His mouth is hot as he mps it onto me, and he sucks hard. I make stupid hissing noises as he pinches my clit between his teeth, and my muscles are clenched tight, my hips bucking, desperate for more.


    It¡¯s easy toe today. My body just does it, my breath fast and short, my legs trembling as I go up and over the edge. He makes it so easy.


    I jump as his tongue touches my asshole, squirming away before he realizes he¡¯s made a mistake and squicks out, but he grabs my thighs and holds me tight, and his tongue is right back there, tasting me, in my dirtiest ce, where it feels so icky¡­ dirty¡­


    ¡°Daddy¡­¡± I whisper, as though I need to tell him, but he just grunts and pushes the point of his tongue right there, right inside.


    His voice is muffled and gruff. ¡°Rx,¡± he says. ¡°Let Daddy taste you.¡±


    And he can¡¯t mean¡­ but he does¡­ he does mean it. His fingers spread my ass and his tongue pushes and pokes its way inside, and it feels like an electric eel, all sparky and tickly and jolty.


    And I can¡¯t get enough.


    I can¡¯t get enough of how it feels.


    He knows it, too. I hear a lowugh. ¡°Daddy knows how to make you feel good, sweetheart.¡±


    He pushes in deeper and I can¡¯t stop myself moaning.


    I gasp as he pulls away. He licks his lips as I stare at him, and I wonder what I taste like.


    But I don¡¯t think I want to know.


    I drop my knees and let my legs hang over the edge of the table. I¡¯m propped up on my elbows as Daddy Nick unbuckles his belt.


    ¡°Do you want to make Daddy feel good?¡±


    I smile so brightly because it¡¯s real and true. There¡¯s nothing I want more than to make Daddy feel good.


    He beckons me off the table, and his handnds on my head pushes me down to my knees, and I know what¡¯sing. I just hope I remember what Kelly Anne told me.


    His cock is so big when he pulls it free. He smells all grown up, and his cock is dark and thick and veiny. He works it in his hand and the end is wet, just a little. The slit in the end is so close to my face, and I wonder if I could fit the tip of my tongue in there and if I¡¯d want to.


    Yes, I¡¯d want to.


    My mouth opens on instinct, my eyes moving up to meet his as his fingers stroke my hair.


    ¡°Give me your mouth, little Laine,¡± he says, and his hips push forward, the big, dark head of his cock aiming right for my lips. ¡°Look at Daddy now. Keep looking at Daddy.¡±


    He¡¯s bigger in my mouth than I expect, pushing past my teeth until my cheeks billow and strain, and I want to retch but fight it, just try to keep breathing through my nose as he rocks himself back and forth.


    ¡°That¡¯s it, sweetheart. That¡¯s a good girl.¡±


    He pushes to the back of my throat and I splutter until he pulls out again.


    ¡°Suck Daddy. Suck Daddy with that pretty little mouth.¡±


    I do suck him. I suck him hard, not caring how my mouth is wet and slurpy. Not caring that my eyes are watering and my cheeks feel hollow with the strain.


    I forget every single piece of advice Kelly Anne gave me because it¡¯s all I can do to keep sucking as he takes my hair and holds me tight. He thrusts, slowly, but deep, gently, back and forth.


    ¡°That¡¯s it¡­ good girl¡­¡± He closes his eyes and lets out a grunt.


    ¡°Deeper, let Daddy deeper.¡±


    I retch as he pushes, but don¡¯t pull away. I never want to pull away.


    He pushes his dick into my cheek until it strains, and then he watches me. Watches me with his big thick cock stretching my mouth, and I pray I¡¯m doing it right, pray I¡¯m good enough.


    ¡°Perfect,¡± he growls. ¡°Fuck, Laine, you¡¯re a fucking treasure.¡±


    His pleasure is the greatest sound on earth. The roughness of his fingers in my hair is the greatest feeling. I love it when he grunts and groans when he thrusts and makes me gag.


    I love it when he loses control and his hips jerk and thrust and his dick twitches and pulses in my mouth.


    I love the filthy noises it makes when he¡¯s fucking my mouth.


    Because that¡¯s what he¡¯s doing. He¡¯s fucking my mouth.


    My fingers can¡¯t stop ying with my clit, and my bare pussy feels so strange and sensitive. I¡¯m making noises too, weird little gasps that sound like squeaks as his balls p off my chin.


    They¡¯re bigger than I thought, too.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Daddy¡¯s going toe,¡± he rasps. ¡°You want Daddy¡¯s cum, don¡¯t you?¡±


    I can barely nod, but I try anyway.


    ¡°It¡¯sing¡­ take it all for Daddy, take it all, sweetheart¡­¡±


    It hits the back of my tongue first, and it¡¯s thick and salty and makes me choke. I feel him spurt against my lips, and it tastes so strange, like nothing I¡¯ve ever tasted.


    ¡°Open for Daddy¡­¡± he groans, and there¡¯s more. I open wide as his dick jerks and his cum fills my mouth, and it¡¯s warm under my tongue, my eyes stream as it trickles to the back of my throat.


    He grunts and swears and works his cock as it spurts, over and over, and then he tenses and sighs. He smooths the hair from my forehead and smiles at me.


    ¡°Show me, show Daddy.¡±


    I open my mouth wide, and he looks inside, then pushes his fingers in, and rolls them around my tongue where I¡¯m full of him.


    ¡°Good girl¡­¡± he says, and it makes my heart so proud. ¡°Swallow for


    Daddy.¡±


    I swallow it all down like a good little girl and show him my empty mouth, and it¡¯s not that bad. It¡¯s not so bad at all, not like Kelly Anne said it was.


    I like Daddy Nick¡¯s cum, just as much as I like the rest of him.


    He pulls me to my feet and wraps me in his arms, and I feel so giddy, so floaty, and light as he holds me tight.


    He kisses my mouth, where he¡¯s been, and I¡¯m sure I must taste of him, but he doesn¡¯t care. His tongue licks at mine, and mine licks his right back, and I¡¯m giggling, happy.


    I¡¯m still giggling as he pulls away.


    ¡°You can do your homework before dinner,¡± he says, and dirty Daddy Nick is all gone.

 Chapter 49

    NICK


    I watch her as I cook up our pasta, chopping tomatoes as she pretends to ponder over an assignment. She¡¯s not thinking about her college work, not even close. Her eyes flick in my direction every time she thinks I¡¯m upied, and her cheeks are still pretty pink, flushed with that beautiful post-orgasmic glow every man likes to see after he¡¯s been eating pussy.


    She¡¯s barely dressed, and if her camisole, knickers, and socksbination is deliberate. She couldn¡¯t look more innocent little girl if she tried. It shouldn¡¯t feel as good as it does, this thing we¡¯ve got. It shouldn¡¯t feel as though my life meant nothing before she was here, but it does.


    ¡°What is it?¡± she asks, and she¡¯s smiling.


    ¡°Sorry?¡±


    Sheughs, and it¡¯s intoxicating. ¡°You¡¯re staring so hard it burns. Have


    I done something?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve done plenty, youngdy,¡± I tell her in my sternest voice.


    ¡°I have?¡±


    ¡°Oh yes.¡± I continue chopping, then put the tomatoes in the pan before I smile. ¡°All of it good.¡±


    She sighs and feigns a heart attack. ¡°I¡¯m d it¡¯s all good,¡± she says.


    ¡°You¡¯ve done plenty too, Daddy Nick.¡± ¡°I have, have I?¡±


    She nods, and there¡¯s noughter there, just a hushed little whisper. ¡°I was nobody before you found me.¡±


    It hits me in the gut. Two different people, two very different worlds.


    Both empty.


    She taps the pen I gave her against her notepad. ¡°I never had a family before, but now I have. We¡¯re a family, right, a little one, me and you?¡±


    ¡°Yes, Laine. Yes, we are.¡±


    Her smile is bright enough to light the world. I know I¡¯ll never grow tired of looking at her, never tire of taking care of her or holding her tight.


    Or loving her.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± she says. ¡°You¡¯ve given me everything.¡±


    ¡°And I¡¯ll take you,¡± I tell her. ¡°Soon.¡±


    ¡°Soon?¡±


    I nod. ¡°Soon, Laine.¡±


    ¡°But not today?¡±


    ¡°Not today.¡±


    She shrugs. ¡°Ok, Daddy. Whenever you¡¯re ready.¡±


    Her coy little grin makes me smile all the while I strain the pasta.


    I RUN her a bath full of bubbles, and she¡¯s so dainty as she dips a toe in.


    ¡°Too hot?¡±


    She shakes her head. ¡°Just right.¡±


    She holds my arm for bnce, even though she doesn¡¯t need it, and I hold her as she lowers herself, her tight little body making my cock strain as she disappears under the suds.


    I uncuff my shirt as she watches, and roll up my sleeves before I dip the jug in the water between her legs. She sits up instinctively, tipping her head back ready for me to wet her hair.


    ¡°Mum used to do this,¡± she tells me. ¡°Only sometimes, when I was little. We didn¡¯t have a shower.¡± She closes her eyes as I tip the jug. ¡°That feels nice.¡±


    ¡°Our new routine, sweetheart,¡± I say. ¡°Bath and bedtime.¡± The thought thrills me.


    I squeeze the shampoo onto her hair, darker now it¡¯s wet, and it feels so soft against my fingers as Ither.


    ¡°That feels better than nice,¡± she tells me. ¡°It feels amazing.¡±


    I massage her scalp and tickle her neck, twisting her golden tresses around my fingers as she sighs.


    She lowers herself under the water to rinse it off, and her knees bob up. I resist the urge to slip my hand between her legs, and she surfaces none the wiser of the hard-on pulsing in my trousers. I smooth through the conditioner as she sighs.


    ¡°Did you do this¡­ for Jane?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I did.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s nice,¡± she says.


    ¡°Like riding a bike,¡± I tell her, making sure I¡¯ve conditioned the fine little wisps at her temples. ¡°Once you know how to wash hair, you never forget.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re good at it. You¡¯re good at everything.¡±


    ¡°Not everything.¡±


    She twists her head to meet my eyes. ¡°Yes so. You¡¯re amazing.¡±


    She can say it all she likes, but the two people I loved so much are still in the ground because I didn¡¯t take good enough care of them. She must notice the sadness, because she twists further, and her sweet little nipples greet me through the bubbles.


    ¡°I mean it. You¡¯re amazing, Daddy. So kind and thoughtful and strong.¡±


    ¡°Not strong enough, Laine. Not in the past. Not enough to enforce the discipline I should¡¯ve enforced.¡±


    Her eyes are wide, hershes wet. ¡°But you are now.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I tell her. ¡°I am now.¡±


    She twists back as I continue with her hair. ¡°How will you¡­ discipline me¡­¡±


    I don¡¯t hesitate. ¡°I¡¯ll spank you, Laine. Hard. Until you learn whatever lesson needs learning.¡±


    The water gives her away, a slop against the sides as she squeezes her legs together. ¡°You¡¯ll spank me?¡±


    ¡°Hard.¡± I tug her hair back until her eyes are staring up at mine. ¡°My father used a belt on me. It¡¯s in my study, which still has the same desk he used to punish me over.¡±


    She swallows. ¡°It must¡¯ve hurt.¡±


    ¡°Very much.¡± I let go of her hair. ¡°But he taught me well. Taught me how to be smart, dedicated, and driven.¡±


    ¡°Will you¡­ use a belt on me?¡±


    ¡°If you deserve it.¡± I twist her hair into a pony then pile it on top of her head and grab the soap. ¡°Be a good girl and there¡¯ll be no need. Arms up.¡±All rights ? N?velDrama.Org.


    She raises her arms and I soap her, from her dainty fingers to her elbows, then up to her armpits as she giggles. ¡°That tickles.¡±


    She stops giggling as my fingers work down her front. I take her sweet little tits and roll them in my palms, and her nipples are hard, just right for a little pinch. She leans into me and I pinch them again, sharp enough that she squeaks.


    ¡°Dirty girl,¡± I tell her and tap her knees. ¡°Let Daddy wash you.¡±


    She raises herself on her arms, her back arched and knees spread without hesitation. Her pussy presents itself above the water, covered in bubbles and rosy pink from the warmth. Ither fresh soap and slip my hand between her thighs, rubbing back and forth, where my fingers catch her clit and slide between her puffy lips. She rocks, and murmurs, eyes tight shut as I soap her.


    ¡°Lovely and clean,¡± I tell her, but she keeps rocking.


    ¡°Please, Daddy¡­ that feels so nice¡­¡±


    ¡°Does my dirty little girl want Daddy to make here?¡±


    She nods her head. ¡°Please, Daddy¡­¡±


    I pull my hand away and she groans. ¡°On all fours, be a good girl and


    I¡¯ll make youe.¡±

 Chapter 50

    The water sloshes as she twists and rolls over. She raises herself so beautifully, and I change position, stepping to the other end of the bath where her ass is waiting for me. I pick up the moisturizer from the shelf and squirt some onto my fingers. She spreads her knees as far as they¡¯ll go, and the cheeks of her ass part for me. Her pussy lips drip underneath her, so beautifully puffy. I rub the moisturizer over the tight globes of her ass, and she doesn¡¯t flinch as I part them to find her puckered little asshole. It winks at me, and I know she¡¯s nervous.


    ¡°Rx,¡± I tell her. ¡°Let Daddy wash you.¡±


    She nods and lets out a gasp as I run my fingers across her tight little ring. ¡°Rx,¡± I repeat, and she tries, her muscles loosening as I rub the cream along her crack. She shifts forward when I squirt a dollop right on target.


    ¡°Be good,¡± I warn, and she hitches back.


    ¡°What are you going to do?¡± she asks, and her voice is crackly. Glorious nerves.


    ¡°Let Daddy in, sweetheart.¡± I press my finger to that gorgeous virgin ass, and it¡¯s clenched tight. So fucking tight.


    ¡°But I¡¯m¡­ it¡¯s dirty¡­ what if it¡¯s¡­¡±


    I lower my voice. ¡°Laine, be a good girl, let Daddy in.¡±


    A moment I¡¯ll savor forever. My beautiful girl rocking on her knees as her breath catches in her throat. Hesitant. Divine.


    Horny.


    Her pussy clenches. Her asshole winks.


    And then rxes.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be a good girl, Daddy,¡± she says.


    LAINE


    He¡¯s GOING to put his fingers in there, and I want it. It feels so dirty but I want it.


    Daddy Nick wants to put his fingers in my asshole, just like he put his tongue in there. But his fingers are big.


    Not as big as his cock.


    I breathe and make myself rx, and he groans.


    He¡¯s horny Daddy Nick again, and if my weight wasn¡¯t on my arms I¡¯d put my fingers back there and touch myself. My clit is tickling, little sparks that make my breathe out raspy.


    I feel his finger pressing against my hole, and it feels so hot. He pushes and I make a funny little grunt as I feel it slide in a little way.


    ¡°Good girl,¡± he says, and it makes me feel so warm.


    He pushes again, and it feels so weird, squelchy from soap as he wriggles his finger then slides it further, and I feel him, going deeper. It feels like I need the toilet.


    I tell him so and he lets out another one of those groans, and I need him to touch my pussy so bad that I can¡¯t stop myself moving.


    ¡°Oh yes,¡± he whispers. ¡°That¡¯s it. Push back for Daddy.¡±


    I ease my hips back and it feels hot, like a poker as it goes deeper. I groan and squeeze my eyes shut, and I do need the toilet.


    ¡°Daddy¡­ mmm¡­ I¡­ I need to¡­¡±


    ¡°No,¡± he says. ¡°You don¡¯t.¡±


    I gasp as he pushes again, and it hurts, just a bit. He keeps pushing, and I grit my teeth, and then he¡¯s in, I know he is. It doesn¡¯t hurt anymore. He wriggles inside me, and I¡¯m squelching. He presses and wriggles some more and I feel it in my pussy. It aches a fluttery ache.


    And I like it.


    I like it.


    ¡°Beautiful,¡± he whispers, and I feel so shy. ¡°How does that feel?¡± I don¡¯t know what to say.


    ¡°How does it feel, Laine? Tell Daddy.¡±


    He wriggles some more and I am so scared I¡¯m going to poop on his finger that I clench real tight, and that makes the ache in my pussy so much worse.


    I moan, and I don¡¯t sound like me at all.


    ¡°Tell Daddy, Laine.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I like it¡­¡±


    ¡°Tell Daddy how it feels to have his finger in your ass, sweetheart.¡±


    Squirmy. It¡¯s so hot and squirmy¡­ and amazing¡­


    ¡°It feels¡­¡± I suck in breath as he slides it in and out. ¡°Ah¡­ Ah,


    Daddy¡­ that feels so nice¡­¡±


    In and out, in and out, and it doesn¡¯t hurt, not even a bit, not even ufortable like it did at first¡­


    ¡°That¡¯s right, sweetheart, take it. Take it for Daddy.¡±


    I move as he moves, the water sshing under me as I jerk against Daddy¡¯s thick finger as he squirms it inside me, and then there¡¯s his thumb, pressing against my pussy, right against my clit, and I can¡¯t stand it, I can¡¯t stop grunting.


    ¡°Daddy¡¯s going to make youe. You¡¯re such a good girl, Laine, such a good little girl.¡±


    I feel on fire, my ass clenching and my pussy too, and my breath in rasps. ¡°Daddy¡­ Daddy, please¡­ don¡¯t stop¡­ don¡¯t stop, Daddy¡­¡±


    I don¡¯t recognize myself, and I can¡¯t stop, can¡¯t stop begging as he rubs me and pushes his finger in and out.


    And then there¡¯s more¡­ I feel another finger, and I groan but don¡¯t stop moving¡­ and it hurts, a burn as he pushes that one in too.


    ¡°Daddy¡¯s going to fuck your ass, Laine,¡± he grunts. I wonder if he means right now and I don¡¯t care. He could put anything in there and I wouldn¡¯t care. ¡°Soon, sweetheart, soon Daddy¡¯s going to give you his cock.¡±


    ¡°Please¡­¡± I hiss. ¡°Oh God, Daddy, please don¡¯t stop! Please don¡¯t stop!¡±


    I m forward as he makes mee, slopping water over the side, and my hair is slimy with conditioner, pressed to my cheek as Daddy fucks me with his fingers and my ass burns and tightens. I¡¯m a shuddery mess, my mouth open as he keeps circling my clit, and I want him in me. I want him in my pussy.


    I want Daddy¡¯s cock inside me.


    ¡°Yes¡­¡± I whisper. ¡°Oh, Daddy, yes¡­¡±


    I jerk, and wriggle and hiss. His fingers keep on fucking my ass. My clit tickles and pulses and I cry out, my legs trembling.


    And then I¡¯m done.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    I breathe.


    He pulls his fingers out with a squelch, and my ass feels open wide. I can feel where he¡¯s been.


    He ps my ass. ¡°Time to wash that conditioner out,¡± he says.


    I roll over and tip my head back like a good girl.

 Chapter 51

    LAINE


    He towels me dry and helps me into my knickers and nightdress. My socks, too. He gets me a ss of warm milk and takes me through to the sitting room, pats his knee as he lowers himself into an armchair, and I join him, my ass pressing into hisp as his arms wrap me up and hold me tight.


    His lips press to my shoulder. ¡°You smell so clean, Laine. Sweet, like cherries.¡±


    He breathes in my damp hair and I still can¡¯t believe this is real. I can¡¯t believe that someone loves me like this.


    He takes a brush from the side table and its bristles feel so nice against my scalp as he works it through my hair. He¡¯s gentle, but firm, with long smooth strokes to my shoulder des, pulling loose any knots with short, sharp tugs. He¡¯s done this before.


    I¡¯m surprised when he splits my hair into three, his fingers so quick at iting the length. I hear the twang of a hairband from his wrist and he ties the end.


    ¡°Wavy curls in the morning,¡± he tells me. ¡°Like an angel.¡± ¡°Thanks, Daddy Nick.¡± Daddy Nick.


    Nick.


    Using his name that way is my one pathetic safeguard of being¡­ I dunno¡­ being his lover, not just his little girl. I want to cling to that, and I guess it¡¯s fear. Fear of him seeing me as just a baby. That¡¯s what I feel like, his baby girl.


    And I love that.


    I love that.


    But I want to be his lover, too.


    His actual lover.


    ¡°You¡¯re tense,¡± hements. ¡°What¡¯s up, sweetheart?¡± ¡°Nothing,¡± I say.


    He sighs. ¡°No secrets, Laine.¡±


    I shrug. ¡°I guess I¡¯m just scared.¡±


    ¡°Of what?¡±


    ¡°Of loving being your little girl so much that it bes everything I am.¡± My honesty surprises me.


    ¡°Would that be so bad?¡±


    I shrug again. I picture the kind of women he works with. Important, smart women. Sessful women. Grown-up women.


    ¡°This is for keeps,¡± he whispers. ¡°You and me.¡± His chin rests on my shoulder, his breath warm against my cheek. ¡°Now that I¡¯ve found you,


    Laine, I¡¯m not ever letting you go.¡±


    ¡°And that¡¯s what you want? A little girl¡­ to take care of¡­¡± ¡°I want you,¡± he says.


    I twist until I can face him, and his eyes are so warm and kind. ¡°I feel like I could stay like this forever. Never grow up. But how could that work?¡±


    He trails a finger down my cheek. ¡°You¡¯re thinking too much, sweetheart. Worrying unnecessarily.¡±


    Butterflies again, so many butterflies. ¡°I guess I¡¯ve never had to worry about losing anything before. Never had anything worth keeping.¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t lose this, Laine. Finding you made life mean something again.¡±


    I smile. ¡°It did? Really?¡±


    ¡°Really.¡± His eyes smile back at me. ¡°Now, stop worrying and drink your milk. It¡¯s bedtime.¡±


    I bury my face into his neck where it feels so nice, and he holds me tight and kisses my hair while I breathe him in, and my butterflies calm their pping.


    ¡°Thanks, Daddy.¡±


    I woke up from a horrible nightmare. A horrible nightmare where Nick¡¯s introducing me to my new mummy. And she¡¯s beautiful, stylish smart and all grown up.


    She¡¯s wearing heels and red lipstick and carries a briefcase, and her smile is pearly white as she holds out a hand to me.


    He¡¯s still sleeping soundly when I open my eyes, his breathing calm and steady, his chest to my back. I don¡¯t want to wake him, so I don¡¯t. Just snuggle into his arms and tell me I¡¯m being stupid, that being a little ydoedoesn¡¯tn I¡¯m not a proper lover. We can talk, about things. Grown-up things.


    I could learn to be like Kelly Anne, and put on some lipstick and some sexy underwear and show him I¡¯m a woman.


    If I wanted to.


    And that¡¯s the thing. I¡¯m not sure I want to.


    I love the way it feels to be his little girl. I love how naughty it feels, and how safe I feel.


    I love how it makes him grunt and makes his eyes so dark, and his cock so big and hard.


    I love Daddy Nick.


    And that¡¯s what I¡¯m really scared of. Of loving someone as much as this so quickly. Because if I can love him this much already when I don¡¯t even know him, not really, how much am I going to love him when I¡¯m used to him being my everything?


    He shifts in his sleep, and his arms tighten around my waist.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org.


    He¡¯s already my everything. All other things feel so far away. My old house, my old babysitting routine, Kelly Anne and her chitchat. My mum¡­


    I haven¡¯t even given her my new number, and she hasn¡¯t tried to reach me. No ping on social media, or desperate message through Kelly Anne.


    Nothing.


    I exist only to Nick.


    And that¡¯s where I want to stay. Forever. Right here.


    In his little girl¡¯s bedroom, with its pink walls and itsfy bed and its pretty things.


    Sugar and spice and all things nice.


    That¡¯s what I¡¯ll be made of.


    And Daddy Nick will love me for it. Forever.


    Just like he would¡¯ve loved his little girl.


    NICK


    Our routine is blissful, Laines and mine. Pulling free from her arms in the morning to shower and cook her some breakfast. Dropping her at college kissing her hair and telling her to have a nice day. Her sweet voice at lunchtime, our telephone call like clockwork, one on the dot. Her joyful recounting of her day when I pick her up. The quiet beauty of herpleting her assignments at the dinner table.


    Our evening meal. Our gentle conversations.


    The chores she¡¯s taken up naturally. Loading the dishwasher after our meal. Setting the table for the next. Dropping her clothes in theundry hamper. Fastening up my cufflinks with a smile.


    Laine is everything I could have wished for. She¡¯s straight from my dreams.


    And she¡¯s mine.


    All mine.


    My innocent, perfect little girl.


    But there¡¯s a dirtiness behind her sexual naivety. A naughty little girl behind her angel eyes.

 Chapter 52

    It¡¯s in the way she wriggles and squirms and moans for my tongue, for my kisses, for my dirty fingers in her ass. She begs like she¡¯s wanton and starved, and it¡¯s a balm to my filthy soul, taking all of my restraint not to spear her tight little virgin pussy whenever she¡¯s spread underneath me. She takes everything Daddy gives her, and still her ass grinds against my cock in the night, wanting more. Always wanting more. And tonight¡¯s the night she¡¯s going to get it.


    FRIDAY NIGHT WAS ALWAYS my n. A surprise for my sweetheart after a long week at college.


    She¡¯s none the wiser as I collect her from the college gates, telling me all about her day as she piles into the passenger seat. Kelly Anne this, and Kelly Anne that. Always that cow Kelly Anne.


    I say nothing tonight, just smile softly until she realizes I¡¯m quieter than usual.


    ¡°What is it, Daddy?¡± Her eyes are so adoringly worried.


    ¡°I¡¯m taking you out,¡± I tell her. ¡°Anywhere you want to go. My treat.¡±


    Her grin is magical. ¡°Our for dinner?¡±


    I nod. ¡°Anywhere you want to go.¡±


    I can feel her stewing, contemting her options, and I know her well enough by now to know she¡¯s wondering what I want to do, and where I¡¯d like to eat.


    ¡°Where you want to go, Laine,¡± I tell her. ¡°We¡¯ll go where I want to go a different night.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± she says, and I feel her eyes on me. I know the smile on her lips, the hint of devilment. ¡°Milkshake and a burger. Fries, too.¡± I knew it. Iugh as I tell her as much.


    ¡°A drive-through!¡± she expands. ¡°Oh please, Daddy Nick, can we go to a drive-through?¡±


    ¡°And eat greasy fries in our lovely clean car?¡±


    She nods. ¡°Please, please, please!¡±


    ¡°If that¡¯s what you want.¡±


    She grins and bounces in her seat. ¡°It is! It¡¯s exactly what I want!¡± ¡°Then a drive-through it is,¡± I tell her.


    I MAKE her do her homework before we head out to eat, and there¡¯s a thrill of excitement in her smile which makes me both so happy and sad in parallel. Such a simple pleasure, and yet it means so much to my sweet Laine.


    She skips out of the car when I tell her it¡¯s time to go. Her cheeks are flushed and her smile is bright.


    ¡°I¡¯m so looking forward to this,¡± she tells me as she buckles herself in.


    ¡°So, what¡¯s on the Laine Seabourne menu for this evening? Burger, fries, milkshake? How about some of those chicken nuggets on the side?¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    She nods. ¡°And an apple pie, too? Please can we have an apple pie?¡±


    ¡°We can have whatever you want, sweetheart. Ten apple pies if you like.¡±


    She lets out a squeal. ¡°Arge milkshake! Maybe even two!¡±


    ¡°Andrge fries, extrarge fries. Double fries. Fries on fries.¡±


    Sheughs. ¡°And what will you have?¡±


    I shrug. ¡°I don¡¯t usually eat fast food, I¡¯ll take your guidance.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Daddy Nick,¡± she giggles. ¡°I¡¯ll help you out.¡±


    She does help me out, leaning across me to reach the drive-through inte and dishing out the order. Her hand rests on my thigh and my cock strains as she lets them know we want extra everything, and she doesn¡¯t want gherkin on her burger, and neither do I.


    She ps her hands as I ease the car towards the collection point.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± she says. ¡°You have no idea how much I love this stuff.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m getting the picture. We can do this every weekend if you love it so much.¡±


    Her eyes widen. ¡°Every weekend? Seriously?¡±


    ¡°Seriously. If you¡¯re a good girl.¡±


    She lurches from her seat and wraps her arms around my neck, as though I¡¯ve just proposed marriage. My stomach lurches and my dick twitches and there¡¯s a glorious pang in my heart.


    ¡°Thank you, Daddy Nick.¡±


    I squeeze her knee as we reach the collection window. ¡°It¡¯s just a bit of fast food, Laine. I have so many amazing pleasures to show you, I promise. We¡¯ll do it all, sweetheart. Everything. Fast food will be thest thing on your to-do list.¡±


    I pass her the tray of food and thank and pay the attendant, and then I park up in the carpark as Laine instructs, and I genuinely have no idea why we didn¡¯t just eat in. I tell her so.


    ¡°It¡¯s different in the car,¡± she tells me.


    ¡°How so?¡±


    She shrugs, her fingers busy sorting out our order. ¡°Because a drive-through is¡­ cooler¡­¡±


    ¡°Cooler?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, more¡­ I dunno¡­¡±


    Iugh as a couple of fries spill between her knees andnd in the footwell. ¡°More messy?¡±


    She giggles. ¡°Well, yeah. That too. But it¡¯s magical, getting your order and eating it on yourp in the car.¡±


    I¡¯m not sure I see the magic in getting grease all over your dashboard, but I smile regardless. ¡°Did you do this with your mum?¡±


    She shakes her head. ¡°With a couple of her boyfriends, when it was all new. You know how it goes. A new guy who wants to impress the kid takes the family out for burgers and reads a bedtime story. Gets bored after a week and sends the kid to bed early every night until they get bored of the mum too and vanish into the horizon forever.¡±


    I don¡¯t know how it goes. I don¡¯t know at all. ¡°That¡¯s rough, Laine.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s alright,¡± she says. ¡°I did ok. I had it pretty good, loads of other kids have it way worse.¡±


    I keep quiet, unwrapping the thing that could only loosely be described as a burger and contemting how she can find so much pleasure in this.


    She gives a delightful groan as she bites into hers, a look of bliss on her face that I hope I¡¯ll remember forever.


    ¡°Good?¡± I ask.


    More groans. She nods her head, chews then swallows. ¡°Better than good. Amazing.¡±


    I bite into mine. It¡¯s not that bad if you like the taste of processed stic. Her eyes question me, and I haven¡¯t the heart to tell her so. ¡°Good,¡± I say, and sheughs. It¡¯s raw and real and beautiful.


    ¡°Liar!¡±


    I hold up my hands. ¡°It¡¯s good,¡± I lie again.


    Her eyes sparkle. She hands me my milkshake. ¡°Try this. You¡¯ll like this.¡±


    It¡¯s thick and slurpy. More sugar than substance.


    ¡°So?¡± she prompts. ¡°It¡¯s good, right?¡±


    I tip my head. ¡°It¡¯s better than the burger.¡±


    ¡°I love milkshakes. It¡¯s the best.¡±


    I can¡¯t resist, not when I see her hollow cheeks as she sucks in rapture, her eyshes fluttering as she takes a greedy mouthful.


    ¡°I¡¯m d you think so,¡± I tell her. ¡°Because Daddy¡¯s got a milkshake of his own to give youter.¡±


    I try to keep my face impassive, try to stay stern, and serious, but her wide eyes tickle me. Iugh. Properlyugh, right from the belly. ¡°Gross,¡± she says, but she¡¯sughing, too, and it feels so good to let it all out, to see humor in a world that used to be so grey.


    I feel alive again.


    It dries up slowly, a soft giggle as she turns her attention back to her meal, and I¡¯m staring at her, all thought of food long gone.


    ¡°Tonight,¡± I tell her, and it takes her a moment to register my intention.


    ¡°Tonight? Really?!¡±


    I nod. ¡°Really. Home just as soon as we¡¯ve finished.¡±


    She pauses, a fry halfway to her mouth, then drops it back in the carton and bundles the food back in the paper bag as I watch. ¡°Finish your dinner,¡± I say. ¡°There¡¯s no rush, sweetheart.¡± But she doesn¡¯t stop. Not until it¡¯s all away.


    She takes my hand. Squeezes my greasy fingers with hers. ¡°Please let¡¯s go home, Daddy. I¡¯m not hungry anymore.¡±

 Chapter 53

    NICK


    SHE¡¯S NERVOUS. I can feel it, her fingers squeezing mine so tightly as I lead her upstairs. I¡¯d nned to take her in my room, in my big bed like a big girl, but the temptation to take her innocence in pretty pink sheets is too much to bear. She takes a breath as she steps through the doorway, and her smile is so bright, trying too hard to be confident. Her raspy breath gives her away.


    I close the door behind us and my beautiful girl faces me as I flick on themp. Her hands are sped in front of her, so unsure.


    I shrug off my jacket and hang it on the back of the door. I loosen my tie slowly and unbutton my shirt as she stares at me with wide eyes.


    ¡°Undress for Daddy,¡± I tell her, and her nervous fingers are a joy to watch. They dither as they pull her top over her head, fumble as they pop the button on her jeans, and ease down the zipper. She wriggles out of them and stands before me in just her underwear. Her bra is so understated, only the tiniest frill ofce on in white. Her nipples poke through the fabric, tiny little peaks that make my mouth water.


    ¡°Turn for Daddy, let me see you.¡±


    She smiles so shyly as she does a twirl, her shoulders back and proud, even though I¡¯m sure her heart is racing in her chest. Her ass is a delight, tight young virgin cheeks just begging to be spanked. A dirty part of me wishes my sweet Laine was a naughty girl, but there¡¯ll be an opportunity for punishment in good time. Even the most adorable little girls can¡¯t always be angels.


    I¡¯m beginning to read her expressions. The tiny twitch in the corner of her smile, the flutter of her eyshes, the stare she gives when she¡¯s so eager for praise.


    ¡°Beautiful,¡± I tell her as she finishes her twirl.


    She breathes out a sigh of relief. ¡°Thanks, Daddy Nick.¡± ¡°It¡¯s just Daddy tonight,¡± I tell her, and she nods.


    ¡°Okay, Daddy.¡±


    I undo my cufflinks and shrug off my shirt. Her mouth is open as I take off my belt, her weight shifting from foot to foot as I lower my trousers.


    My cock is so ready for her, balls so fucking tight at the thought of taking her sweet little virgin pussy. I feel like a starving man, mouth-watering over a tasty piece of rare steak. Tender, perfect, innocent.


    The beast inside wants to take her rough and fast, to show her who she belongs to, and instill some discipline right from the start. But I¡¯m a better man than that.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    Her arms are waiting as I step into them, her sweet fingers twisting in my hair as I kiss her pretty mouth. She murmurs as I give her my tongue, hers dancing such a delicate dance, then she moans as my fingers trail up her belly to squeeze at those little button nipples.


    My horny girl is wet for me. She grinds against my bare thigh and the cotton of her knickers is soaking through. She humps me so sweetly, a squirmy little package of need, but I ease her away, pressing my finger to her lips as she protests.


    ¡°All in good time, sweetheart. Easy now. Rx for Daddy.¡±


    I walk her to the bed, and she falls back without instruction. Her greedy little fingers rub at her clit through her sodden knickers. The fabric highlights her little pink slit so fucking beautifully.


    ¡°Dirty girl,¡± I grunt, and work my cock slowly, from balls to tip. She¡¯s staring at the length of me, and those nerves are so in to see. ¡°Are you ready for Daddy, Laine?¡±


    She nods. ¡°I¡¯m ready, Daddy. Ready.¡±


    Her fingers keep ying as I kneel on the bed alongside her, circling her clit so eagerly until I push them aside with my own. I press them into her slit, stretching that cotton fabric between her pussy lips as she squeezes her eyes shut.


    I know I should take it slowly. I know I should take her with my fingers, one by one, until her pussy is open and willing. I know that¡¯s what a good daddy should do for his little girl, but right now I don¡¯t feel like such a good daddy.


    I want my cock to be the first thing she feels. I want my cock to be the thing that breaks her. I want her to feel how big and hard Daddy¡¯s cock is for his gorgeous little girl.


    ¡°What is it, Daddy?¡± Her sweet smile makes my cock twitch.


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing, sweetheart,¡± I tell her, resigning myself to be the better man.


    But she won¡¯t let it go. She hitches herself up on her elbows, her eyes so wide.


    ¡°Am I doing something wrong? I¡¯m not sure what to do¡­¡± She looks scared. There¡¯s a shake in her voice.


    ¡°Taking my time, Laine. That¡¯s all. Just rx for me.¡± I stroke her soft thigh and slip my hand inside her knickers. She moans and rxes on the bed.


    ¡°Daddy wants his cock to be the first thing you feel inside you, Laine. Daddy wants to feel your tight little pussy stretch for him for the very first time.¡±


    Her hand presses onto mine, right between her legs, urging my fingers to her horny little clit.


    ¡°I want that too¡­¡± It¡¯s barely more than a murmur, and it¡¯s not enough.


    ¡°It¡¯ll hurt,¡± I tell her. ¡°Daddy¡¯s cock is going to hurt unless I make your sweet little pussy ready for it.¡±


    ¡°But I¡­¡± she whispers. ¡°I don¡¯t care¡­ I want what you want¡­¡±


    I smile. ¡°No, sweetheart. We¡¯ll do this right, for you.¡±


    She shakes her head and keeps coaxing my fingers between her legs. ¡°You¡¯ve given me so much, Daddy. I want to give you this¡­ me¡­ however you want it¡­ I want it to be good for you, Daddy¡­¡±


    I don¡¯t say a word, just keep circling that tight little bud until she shudders, so close toing, so beautifully close.


    ¡°Please, Daddy¡­ please¡­¡± Her request is so beautiful in her innocence, her desire to please me the most magical treasure. ¡°I want it,


    Daddy, I promise¡­¡±


    ¡°Let me make youe,¡± I tell her. ¡°Let¡¯s make you nice and wet for Daddy¡¯s cock.¡±

 Chapter 54

    She¡¯s already sopping. Delicious squelches from her pussy make my cock so hard. I lower myself until my mouth hovers over her soft little mound. I pull her knickers down her mmy thighs and she wriggles to help. The scent of her is divine. I breathe her in, my nose pressed into those soft lips, nudging at her clit until she gasps.


    I spread her with my fingers, and suck that tight little nub into my mouth, sucking hard and steady until her hips are thrusting and her fingers are tugging at my hair.


    I wrap my arms under her thighs and hold her tight to my mouth, my tonguepping at her slit as she moans. I suck again, and it¡¯s enough to make her cry out, and then she tumbles, jerking under me as shees, her heels kicking at the bedcovers, back arched as she rides the waves.


    ¡°Oh, Daddy¡­ yes¡­ yes¡­¡±


    She¡¯s so fucking beautiful like that. Her pussy clenches as I lick the wetness from her swollen clit, and I pepper her thighs with gentle kisses, right the way down to her toes.


    Her eyes are hooded and adoring. Sheys so still for me, so calm in her vulnerability.


    Trust. It¡¯s a beautiful thing.


    I take her ankles and position them at my hips. I spread her thighs, and she moans as I tease open her pussy lips, sying her nice and wide. I soak in the sight of her untouched little hole for thest time, the delicate pink of her hymen the most precious gift I¡¯ll ever take.


    I should say it, so I do. ¡°We should use protection,¡± I tell her. ¡°I don¡¯t want to put you in a situation, Laine.¡±


    She doesn¡¯t flinch. ¡°You mean a baby? You don¡¯t want to risk a baby?¡±


    Iugh gently. ¡°It¡¯s not about what I want, Laine. It¡¯s about you. What¡¯s right for you.¡±


    Her quizzical expression gives me the strangest rush. ¡°But would you? I mean, not right now. I mean, in theory¡­¡±


    This isn¡¯t the time, not with my swollen cock bursting to take her virginity. ¡°I¡¯ll give you whatever you want, Laine, but it¡¯s always going to be your decision.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯d give me a baby? If that¡¯s what I wanted?¡± She looks so surprised. I¡¯m surprised she¡¯s so surprised.


    ¡°If that¡¯s what you wanted, sweetheart.¡± I smile. ¡°But I can use something, for tonight, to be safe.¡±


    She grips my wrist as I begin to move away, and I stop. Wait.


    ¡°Please don¡¯t,¡± she whispers. ¡°Please don¡¯t use anything. I want it to be you inside me. Just you.¡±


    ¡°If you¡¯re sure.¡±


    She nods. ¡°I¡¯m sure.¡±


    My heart feels fit to burst. My balls straining, cock aching to be buried inside my sweet love. I squeeze her cute little tits, and the thought is there unbidden. The thought of those little breasts swollen with milk, her belly stretched with our baby. A baby inside my gorgeous little girl.


    She takes a breath. ¡°I want you so much, Daddy.¡±


    ¡°And I want you, Laine. So very much, sweetheart.¡±


    I lift her knees to her chest for the perfect view of her gorgeous cunt.


    She¡¯s shaking, and she smiles as I realize.


    ¡°I¡¯m not scared,¡± she tells me. ¡°It¡¯s just stupid nerves.¡±


    ¡°A little bit of pain, sweetheart, that¡¯s all. It¡¯ll feel good after that, I promise.¡±


    I press the tip of my dick to her slit, and rub it back and forth, teasing it inside just a little. I love the way she¡¯s so pink and puffy, the way her lips sy around my cock. I ease forward, and it¡¯s tight. So fucking tight.


    She moans and grips at the bedsheets.


    I¡¯m hardly in and she feels so fucking divine. It takes every scrap of restraint not to shunt my length all the way. Slowly, an agonizing tension as I position myself for greater leverage. Her pussy opens, and she squeaks as my swollen head sinks inside.


    ¡°Ow, Daddy, that¡¯s big¡­ it¡¯s really big¡­¡±


    I move my hips, tiny nudges. ¡°Let me in, sweetheart. Let Daddy love you.¡±


    She takes a breath and I push harder. Hard enough to gain an inch. I nearly shoot my fucking load, she¡¯s so fucking tight.


    She whimpers. She¡¯s tense, her whole body tense.


    ¡°Just rx and let Daddy in, Laine. Be a good girl for Daddy.¡±All rights ? N?velDrama.Org.


    I stay still and wait, but when her eyes meet mine they are full of determination.


    ¡°Do it, Daddy,¡± she hisses. ¡°Do it!¡±


    Her tone thrills me, and my balls tighten. ¡°Tell Daddy what you want, Laine.


    Tell me.¡±


    Her gaze is questioning, curious.


    ¡°Tell me, Laine. Be a dirty little girl for Daddy.¡± She tips her head back and smiles through the nerves.


    The girl knows exactly what I want.


    ¡°Fuck me, Daddy¡­ please fuck me¡­¡±


    A thrust. One hard fucking thrust and she squeals as her pussy takes me in. I watch myself sink into her, savor the magical moment I make her mine. That magical moment her hymen breaks and she squeals again and shudders and swears under her breath.


    ¡°Ow¡­¡± she mewls. ¡°Ah¡­ ah¡­ ow¡­ ow, it hurts!¡±


    But it¡¯s done. I¡¯m in, my cock buried deep in that tight little snatch. I ease down onto her, her sweet tits mashed to my chest, and her legs wrap me up, her arms too.


    ¡°Good girl,¡± I whisper. ¡°You¡¯re such a good girl. Daddy¡¯s so proud of you, Laine.¡±


    She nods, and I press my mouth to hers. She kisses me so gently, squeaking as I move, in and out.


    ¡°Let it happen,¡± I tell her. ¡°Take it and it¡¯ll feel good, Daddy promises.¡±


    Long slow thrusts, and I won¡¯tst long. Her pussy sucks me tight, straining to milk me fucking dry.


    My breath is hard and fast as I fight the urge to pound her deep.


    And then she whimpers, and this time there¡¯s no pain in it. Her hips move under mine, the bed creaking as she grinds back at me.


    ¡°Yes, Daddy,¡± she whispers. ¡°More, Daddy¡­ please, give me more¡­¡±

 Chapter 55

    LAINE


    DADDY IS INSIDE ME, and it hurts. It hurt enough to take my breath when he pushed in, but I love it, I love the way it feels.


    Daddy¡¯s big cock makes me feel so tender, but I want it. I want all of him.


    ¡°More, Daddy¡­¡± I whisper. ¡°Please¡­ please, more¡­¡±


    He likes that. He likes it when I beg. He grunts and kisses me, and his tongue is fierce and wet. My body has a mind of its own, wriggling under him like I know what I¡¯m doing. My pussy wants to take him, my hips rolling from the bed to meet his thrusts, and it feels good under the pain.


    ¡°Yes, Daddy! Like that! Like that!¡±


    He moves faster, and harder, and I hold my breath. He¡¯s so deep. I can feel his balls pping against my ass, and it makes such a dirty noise.


    ¡°You¡¯ve got a perfect little cunt, Laine,¡± he grunts, and it makes me grind back at him.


    I can¡¯t think straight, and I guess that must be normal. I¡¯m just a bundle of crazy sensations, just a girl who wants her Daddy¡¯s cock. I want nothing else. Just him.


    ¡°Harder, Daddy!¡±


    I must be crazy to say it, and I moan as he ms his dick in and out. I¡¯m making squelchy noises, and I can smell it, sex. Daddy is sweaty and I am too, his hair is mmy as I touch it, and his lips are salty as they press to mine.


    He grunts, in a rhythm, and his balls p my flesh, his dick so deep and my pussy so sore. I can¡¯t stop smiling.


    I¡¯m not a virgin anymore.


    I¡¯m a big girl now. A big girl taking Daddy¡¯s nice big dick. A woman.


    I¡¯m a woman.


    He shifts on top of me and it changes everything.


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± I groan. ¡°Yes¡­¡±


    A pressure inside, and a tingle.


    ¡°That¡¯s it¡­¡± he whispers. ¡°That feels so nice¡­¡±


    It does. It feels so nice I can¡¯t stand it, squirming and wriggling and panting.


    He pulls his dick out and my pussy feels so empty that I moan.


    I moan again as he slides back inside.


    Over and over. Out, and in.


    ¡°Please, Daddy¡­¡± I¡¯m such a mess, a sweaty horny mess.


    He circles his hips and it feels amazing. Better than amazing.


    ¡°Daddy¡¯s going toe inside you,¡± he says, and my heart races.


    ¡°Daddy¡¯s going to fill you up.¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡±


    He said he¡¯d give me a baby, and the thought makes me shiver happy shivers. I want Daddy Nick toe inside me and make me pregnant. I didn¡¯t even know I wanted it, not for a second, but now he¡¯s said it I¡¯m so excited I want to explode.


    ¡°It¡¯sing, sweetheart. Daddy¡¯s cum ising¡­¡± Yes.


    I feel so proud.


    He loses control, his thrusts so erratic and desperate, and I¡¯m desperate too. I grip him tight and moan for him, and my pussy wants it all. He keeps his dick inside me, all the way, and I feel him pulsing and jerking. I¡¯m so happy to know I made Daddy Nicke.


    ¡°It¡¯s all for you,¡± he whispers. ¡°Daddy¡¯s cum is all for you.¡±


    I nod, and I¡¯m smiling so hard. ¡°Thank you, Daddy.¡±


    He doesn¡¯t pull out, just copses onto me as he breathes so fast. I stroke his hair, and my head is spinning, giddy to know that I¡¯ve done it.


    He¡¯s smiling too. He breathes in my damp hair and holds me tight.


    ¡°My perfect girl,¡± he whispers. ¡°My perfect, beautiful little girl.¡± I¡¯m so proud I could burst.


    He smooths the hair from my forehead and nuzzles me, and I hope this never ends, Daddy and me.


    The words won¡¯t stay quiet. I can¡¯t keep them in.


    ¡°I love you, Daddy. I love you.¡±


    He sighs, and it¡¯s a good sigh. He raises himself enough to look into my eyes, and they are so warm.


    ¡°I love you, too,¡± he says.


    I FEEL like I¡¯m flying.


    He loves me.


    And I love him.


    It¡¯s real. It¡¯s all real.


    He pulls out so slowly, so gently now he¡¯se. I try to move but he shakes his head. He kneels between my legs and spreads my pussy with his fingers. I feel so open. Shy, too. I feel so shy.


    ¡°You have the prettiest little pussy, Laine. Daddy wants to see you all full up with his cum.¡±


    I feel the burn on my cheeks, and I gasp as he slides his finger inside me.


    ¡°So tight.¡±


    I feel his finger moving around, and then another.


    ¡°We¡¯re going to have so much fun together, Laine.¡±


    I¡¯m already having more fun than I¡¯ve ever had. I tell him so and he smiles.


    ¡°This is only the beginning.¡±


    I believe him. I can¡¯t wait to see what else Daddy Nick has to show me.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    He lowers his mouth and kisses me where it¡¯s tender. ¡°Thank you,


    Laine, for the greatest gift.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re wee, Daddy.¡± I beam as I stare at him, and wonder how I ever lived without him. I wonder how I ever thought my life could mean anything without him in it.


    It makes me want to cry, this love I feel. It¡¯s so strong and so beautiful.


    He doesn¡¯t seem to understand the tears. His eyes are so worried. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, sweetheart. Does it hurt?¡±

 Chapter 56

    I shake my head. ¡°No,¡± I tell him. ¡°It¡¯s all amazing, I just¡­ my heart feels so full¡­¡±


    He pulls me into his arms in a beat, and they hold me so tight, my cheek to his chest as the happy tears fall.


    ¡°I love you, Laine,¡± he whispers. ¡°You brought me back to life.¡± ¡°You gave me a life.¡±


    ¡°Fate,¡± he says, and I smile.


    I wonder if he believes it, like I do.


    And then I wonder if I¡¯m pregnant. I wonder if Daddy¡¯s cum will give me a baby.


    He doesn¡¯t seem to be thinking about it, so I don¡¯t say anything.


    ¡°We¡¯d better get you cleaned up,¡± he says, and I nod. I need a pee and it feels all squelchy down there. I only notice the stain on the bed when I get to my feet.


    It¡¯s dark pink with splotches of red. Blood. My blood.


    I feel sorry for it, but Daddy is smiling. He touches it like it¡¯s magic. ¡°You bled for me,¡± he says. ¡°Such a beautiful gift from a beautiful girl.¡± I think it¡¯s beautiful too, in a weird way.


    Kelly Anne would think I was crazy. She¡¯d think the whole thing was crazy. But I can¡¯t wait to tell her anyway.


    I want to tell her how amazing it feels not to be a virgin anymore. I want to tell her how Daddy Nick loved me so hard. But first I need to pee.


    DADDY NICK FOLLOWS me into the bathroom, he takes my hands as I lower myself to the toilet, as though I need help. My legs are unsteady, but not that unsteady. I wait for him to leave, but he doesn¡¯t. He pulls some toilet paper from the roll and presses it between my legs.


    There¡¯s more blood when he wipes me. He holds the paper so I can see the stain.


    ¡°It¡¯ll stop soon,¡± he says, but I¡¯m not worried. I¡¯m more worried that I need a pee.


    ¡°I need to go,¡± I tell him.


    He doesn¡¯t move at all. ¡°We have no secrets, remember?¡±


    My cheeks burn at the thought of Daddy Nick watching me pee. Even though he¡¯s seen inside me, and felt in there, and his cum is dripping out of me right now, it still feels so icky to pee in front of him.


    ¡°No secrets, Laine,¡± he repeats. ¡°Daddy wants to see.¡±


    ¡°You want to watch me¡­ pee?¡± I ask him, sure I must be wrong, but he nods.


    ¡°Daddy wants to see everything.¡± He puts his hands on my knees and pulls them apart, and I can¡¯t go, not while he¡¯s watching. A tiny little trickle drips into the toilet, and his eyes are dark again.


    I can¡¯t believe he wants it, but he does.


    I feel so tickly at the thought. Squirmy as he puts his fingers down there and spreads me open.


    ¡°Show Daddy, Laine.¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°But I¡­¡±


    ¡°Laine,¡± he says, and it¡¯s stern. ¡°No secrets.¡±


    I don¡¯t want secrets from Daddy. Even if they are icky ones.


    I have to close my eyes to pee. It¡¯s so hard to make myself go, but once I start I can¡¯t stop. Ites out in a stream, sshing into the water underneath, and I¡¯m sure some of it must go on Daddy¡¯s fingers but he doesn¡¯t care. It gives me tickles. Strange tickles right the way through me.


    ¡°Not so bad, is it?¡± he asks.


    I shake my head. ¡°No, Daddy.¡±


    My pee sounds so loud as itnds. My cheeks feel so hot as he stares.


    And then I finish, and it¡¯s a relief. I reach for the toilet paper but he¡¯s there first. He tears some off and wipes me. Daddy Nick wipes my pussy it¡¯s the most normal thing in the world.


    I shouldn¡¯t like it. I¡¯m sure I shouldn¡¯t like it. But I do.


    ¡°All clean,¡± he tells me, and his eyes are smiling. He kisses me quickly before he reaches for the flush, and his cock is hard again as he gets to his feet.


    I must look scared as I stare at it because heughs as he pulls me up.


    ¡°Bedtime,¡± he tells me. ¡°I think my little girl¡¯s had more than enough cock for one day.¡±


    I¡¯m only half relieved.


    NICK


    WIPING LAINE¡¯S sweet pussy is only the tip of the iceberg when ites to the ways I want to take care of my little girl. Now I¡¯ve had a taste of her secrets I only want more. I want everything from her.


    It¡¯s beautiful, her willingness to please me even when she thinks I¡¯m being so icky.


    I love being icky with Laine. Love pushing her boundaries.


    I slide into bed beside her, my cock already hard for more, but it won¡¯t be tonight. She¡¯s taken enough.


    She sighs as she snuggles against me, and I kiss her hair. ¡°Goodnight, sweetheart.¡±


    ¡°Goodnight, Daddy Nick.¡±


    I¡¯m Daddy Nick again, but that¡¯s ok. I hold her so tight and she drifts off to sleep so much more quickly than usual. Her breath is quiet but steady, and just being next to her soothes me. I never want to let her go.


    I love my sweet little Laine more than I¡¯d have ever imagined. It¡¯s more than desperation for a life less lonely than the one I¡¯ve been living for so long.


    It¡¯s in her quiet grace. Her sweet smile. Her easyugh. It¡¯s in the way she¡¯s so kind, the way she cares for me, looks up to me, the way she appreciates everything I do for her. The way she¡¯s so keen to please me. So keen to be mine.


    I love Laine because her bad start hasn¡¯t made her bitter, or hostile. It hasn¡¯t closed her down to love or made her suspicious. She¡¯s still a sweet, soft soul with a warm heart.


    She¡¯s my beautiful girl. The one bright star on a cloudy night.


    I drift off to sleep so soundly in her arms.

 Chapter 57

    LAINE


    I WAKE up in Daddy Nick¡¯s arms. No college. No work. It makes me smile to find him still sleeping.


    I¡¯m not a virgin. I¡¯m not a virgin. I¡¯m not a virgin.


    I feel different. Squiggly inside.


    Happy.


    I roll over to face him, and he stirs but doesn¡¯t open his eyes. I stare at him, just because I can. It¡¯s a guilty pleasure, staring without him knowing.


    Like I¡¯m spying, chasing secret nces.


    He looks so beautiful in the morning light. His dark eyshes, his perfect shadow of stubble. His strong nose, his cheekbones. His brows are so well-shaped, and serious, even when he¡¯s sleeping. The light makes the grey at his temples look so fine, just a smattering, and it doesn¡¯t make him look old, not like Kelly Anne thinks. It makes him look so professional.


    ¡°I know you¡¯re staring,¡± he says, and his eyes open into mine. ¡°Good morning, sweetheart.¡±


    My heart flutters. ¡°Morning, Daddy Nick.¡±


    He doesn¡¯t move and neither do I. Wey still, just staring, and there¡¯s the softest smile on his lips.


    ¡°I haven¡¯t slept in such a long time,¡± he tells me, and I can believe it.


    He¡¯s always up so much earlier than me.


    I smile. ¡°It¡¯s rxing. All warm and snuggly.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a tight fit, this bed.¡± He stretches out his legs to illustrate, and he¡¯s right, it is a tight fit, but I like it that way. I tell him so and he holds me tighter, squeezes me until I giggle, and then his eyes are serious again.


    ¡°How do you feel, Laine?¡±


    ¡°Good,¡± I say. ¡°Amazing. You made it amazing. Everything I ever dreamed of.¡±


    ¡°Your kind words do wonders for a man¡¯s ego.¡±


    But Daddy Nick doesn¡¯t have an ego. He¡¯s strong, but not arrogant. I know plenty of arrogant people, I¡¯ve known them my whole life, the people that think they know everything, that they¡¯re cooler than everyone, better than everyone. Better than me. I¡¯ve known so many people who think they¡¯re better than me.


    But not Daddy Nick.


    ¡°Are you hungry, sweetheart?¡±


    I tell him no because I don¡¯t want to move, but my tummy betrays me and rumbles.


    ¡°I think you might be a little liar, Laine Seabourne.¡± He taps my nose, and I can¡¯t stopughing. I wonder if it¡¯s some kind of weird post-virginity losing endorphin thing because my body feels light enough to float away. He throws back the covers and I groan through the giggles, but he doesn¡¯t care. He kisses my forehead before he drops his feet to the floor, and then he¡¯s up.


    Myughter stops when I see he¡¯s hard. A pang between my legs as I remembered how he felt there.


    He grabs his cock as I stare. ¡°You can¡¯t honestly be surprised, sweetheart. I¡¯ve been in bed with a beautiful, delicious young woman.¡± Woman.


    He called me a woman.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    It feels better than I ever thought it would feel.


    ¡°Are you getting up with me?¡± he asks, and I nod. Even though the sheets have embraced me as one of their own, I still want to get up with him. I hold out my hand like azy cow as I yawn, and he pulls me up. I


    can feel the difference when I get to my feet, my pussy is so tender, and my legs are wobbly.


    ¡°All alright?¡± he asks. He takes my pink robe from the door and helps me into it.


    ¡°I¡¯m good,¡± I say. ¡°I¡¯m just¡­ I feel different¡­¡±


    ¡°You feel like you¡¯ve been fucked,¡± he says. ¡°You¡¯ll get used to that, sweetheart.¡±


    I follow him as he steps out onto thending, keeping to his side like a shadow. I follow him into the bathroom without a thought, and he smiles a sly smile.


    ¡°Wanting to return the favor?¡± I look nkly until his smile turns into a smirk. ¡°Daddy needs to take a piss, Laine.¡± My cheeks burn, and I say I¡¯m sorry, but he grabs my hand. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean you should leave. You don¡¯t need to leave, sweetheart. Not if you don¡¯t want to. No secrets, remember?¡±


    I¡¯ve never seen a man pee before. The thought excites me, even though it might be icky. I can¡¯t even imagine what Kelly Anne would say.


    He steps over to the toilet and lifts the seat, and his cock is in his hand, still a little hard as he aims at the bowl. I step closer, and my mouth is dry. It feels dirty. Nice dirty.


    The streames out so fast when it starts, and it must feel good because he closes his eyes and lets out a groan. I¡¯m still staring when he opens them, and he¡¯s smirking again. I feel like such a silly idiot, and maybe he knows, because he tips his head and beckons me closer.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be shy,¡± he tells me.


    He takes my hand and I jump a little as he wraps my fingers around his dick. I¡¯m not expecting him to let go, but he does. His cock jerks and makes me start, and pee sprays off the side of the bowl like crazy. Heughs.


    ¡°Steady, sweetheart.¡±


    I¡¯m sure this isn¡¯t what other people do, but I¡¯m transfixed. It half makes me want to giggle and half makes my clit tingle, and I¡¯m positive that must make me a dirty girl, not the little prude Kelly Anne has me down for. That makes me strangely proud. Strangely grown up. Kelly Anne tells me everything about her sex life, and there¡¯s never been anything like this. But then again, there¡¯s never been so much of anything Daddy Nick has shown me. Nobody¡¯s ever put their tongue in Kelly Anne¡¯s asshole and told her how good it tastes. She¡¯d have told me about that. She¡¯d have bragged for a month.


    It¡¯s ridiculously fun, aiming someone else¡¯s pee around the bowl. His cock feels different like this, only half hard. He¡¯s still big and veiny, but less¡­ threatening. I dunno if threatening is the right word, but it¡¯ll do.


    The spray eases to a trickle, and then just a drip, and I wonder what I should do next. Maybe shake him, or wipe him? I don¡¯t have a clue. I squeeze him instead, and it takes him by surprise. He grunts and shifts on his feet, and there¡¯s a thrill right through me as I feel him swell in my grip.


    ¡°Dirty girl,¡± he says, and I¡¯m beginning to believe it. My pussy clenches and it feels different than usual¡­ tender, and achy, and¡­ horny. I keep squeezing, moving my hand up and down him with the sweetest smile on my face I can manage, and he likes that too. He can¡¯t stop looking at me.


    His hand tightens around mine, and he moves me harder, faster.


    ¡°Want to jerk Daddy off in the bathroom? Is that what my dirty little girl wants?¡±


    I nod. I do want that.

 Chapter 58

    I feel more in control than I¡¯ve ever felt around him, wrapped up tight in a fluffy robe while he stands naked, his dick in my hand. I¡¯ve been learning, trying hard to do it just as he likes it, and it¡¯s working. His breath is fast, and the muscles in his thighs are so tight, his eyes staring at my fingers as they work so hard.


    ¡°That¡¯s so good,¡± he groans. ¡°That¡¯s good, Laine.¡±


    I don¡¯t feel so much like his little girl this morning. I¡¯m a woman, not a prudish little virgin. I¡¯m the one giving him all the pleasure as he thrusts in my grip.


    ¡°You want to make mee? Like this?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± My voice sounds more confident than usual.


    His eyes meet mine, and I smile but don¡¯t add a please or a Daddy or even a Daddy Nick. I can tell he¡¯s thinking about it, I can see it in his eyes, but he doesn¡¯t say anything and I take it as some kind of silly victory. I can¡¯t exin why, it just is.


    Not being a virgin anymore has gone to my head.


    I nearly snort and giggle at the thought of me in slutty underwear and ridiculously high heels as I morph into some sex siren, but when he arches his back and his cock twitches, everything bes so serious.


    I¡¯m going to make hime, without his help, without him taking over, or putting it in my mouth, or gripping my fingers and showing me what to do.


    ¡°Fuck, Laine,¡± he groans. ¡°That¡¯s so fucking nice.¡±


    My heart swells with pride, knowing I can do this. I¡¯m not such the silly little prude I thought I was.


    My wrist is aching but I don¡¯t slow down, I concentrate on the tip of him, where he¡¯s getting wet, and that makes him grunt and sway and curse.


    I love the way it makes him curse.


    ¡°Fuck, I¡¯m close,¡± he tells me, but I already know that I can feel it in the way his cock jerks, in the rasp of his breath.


    I could explode with joy when the first spurt of cum stters the cistern. It¡¯s not even close to the bowl, but that doesn¡¯t matter, Daddy Nick isn¡¯t even looking. His eyes are screwed shut, his voice nothing more than grunts as he spurts again and again.


    I made hime.


    A milestone that seems like such a big deal.


    I can¡¯t stop grinning.


    ¡°You look like the cat who got the cream,¡± heughs when he¡¯s gathered his breath. ¡°Well done, sweetheart. That was perfect.¡± Perfect.


    My cheeks tickle from smiling so brightly. ¡°Thanks.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be expecting that kind of treatment every morning if you¡¯re not careful,¡± he says, but he¡¯s joking, his eyes sparkle. ¡°Now, let¡¯s go and get you some breakfast, you¡¯ve certainly earned it.¡±


    He ps my ass as he passes me by, and grins as he grabs his robe.


    THIS ISN¡¯T the morning Daddy Nick I¡¯vee to know. He makes breakfast and hums a song I¡¯ve never heard. He¡¯s rxed today. Today I help him, chopping up mushrooms as he fries the sausages, and getting the bread ready for the toaster.


    ¡°Teamwork,¡± he says as I drop the mushrooms into the pan.


    ¡°Teamwork,¡± I agree, and raise me on tiptoes until he presses his lips to mine.


    The bacon smells incredible, and I am ravenous. I let out the most contented sigh as we sit down to eat our meal, and he smiles over at me before he tucks in.


    ¡°I used to hate the weekends,¡± he tells me. ¡°They felt so empty. I¡¯d work, just to fill the time.¡±All rights ? N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Mine too,¡± I admit. ¡°I mean I babysat, but Kelly Anne is normally busy in the daytime, and Mum would be out. Crappy TV was my friend.¡±


    ¡°Crosswords were mine,¡± he admits. ¡°When the to-do list was checked off, that is.¡±


    The bacon tastes as delicious as it smells. I tell him so and hepliments me on how the mushrooms are sliced just so.


    ¡°So, here we are,¡± he says. ¡°A whole weekend with no work, and no babysitting. What to do, Laine?¡±


    I shrug. ¡°Whatever you want. I¡¯m happy just being here with you.¡±


    ¡°And I¡¯m happy being here with you,¡± he says. ¡°But we should go out, do something, live a little.¡±


    I¡¯ve been living plenty, but I don¡¯t tell him that. I get the feeling he¡¯s breathing for the first time in forever, and I get that because I am too.


    Like a butterfly breaking out of a lonely cocoon. That¡¯s what I feel like. Like a butterfly.


    Butterflies.


    I have an idea. A great idea that gives me shivers.


    ¡°What?¡± he asks. ¡°Where do you want to go?¡±


    I shrug like it¡¯s nothing. ¡°Just somewhere. I need to look it up online.¡± ¡°We¡¯ll go wherever you want,¡± he says. ¡°My treat.¡± But not today. Today will be my treat.


    I keep quiet and eat my breakfast, and he does too. He looks at me curiously, as though he¡¯s trying to read me, but I keep a poker face, determined not to ruin the surprise. I so want to surprise him.


    I clear our tes as soon as we¡¯re done.

 Chapter 59

    NICK


    SHE¡¯S BURSTING to tell me where we¡¯re headed, clutching her phone so tightly as she rys the directions from the navigation software. Her voice bubbles with excitement. A surprise, she insists.


    I can¡¯t remember a time someone gave me a surprise like this. Not even Louisa. Louisa was sweet and vivacious, but she wasn¡¯t thoughtful. I enjoyed spoiling Louisa, just as I enjoy spoiling my little Laine, but the creature in the seat beside me is turning out to be a very different girl altogether.


    ¡°Don¡¯t I get a clue?¡± I ask.


    Her hair shimmers as she shakes her head. ¡°No. You¡¯ll like it, though.


    At least I hope you will.¡±


    I¡¯m already liking it. Being with her is enjoyable enough all on its own.


    I keep my eyes on the road, none the wiser of our destination as I take the roads she points out.


    ¡°Not far,¡± she says. ¡°Take a right, up here.¡±


    And that¡¯s when I see it. A brown tourist sign on the roadside. Butterfly Zoo.


    ¡°Crap.¡± She groans. ¡°I didn¡¯t know that would be there. I wanted it to be a surprise.¡±


    But it is a surprise. It¡¯s such a surprise I¡¯m lost for words. I was just a boy when Ist took my and disappeared into the countryside to indulge my fascination with butterflies.


    Now I only admire them dead. So many lifeless specimens, pinned and mounted in frames on my wall.


    The excitement in my stomach is boyish and unfamiliar. An innocence long since forgotten. Buried, with the rest of my life.


    ¡°You do want to go, right?¡± she asks. ¡°You do still like them?¡±


    ¡°I love them,¡± I tell her, and my heart pounds with the thrill as we pull into the car park.


    I park up in a space and turn off the engine, then sit, staring in wonder at the brightly painted wings over the entrance doors.


    I want to tell her how strange I feel inside, how her thoughtfulness has moved me to nothing but stunted silence, but it¡¯s all I can do to smile and take her hand in mine.


    Her fingers squeeze. ¡°They¡¯ve got over two hundred species here. Some rare ones, too. I looked it up online.¡±


    ¡°This is something, Laine,¡± I tell her.


    ¡°So, let¡¯s go,¡± she says. ¡°Show me some butterflies. I can¡¯t wait to see.¡± Neither can I.


    We check in at the entrance, and as I pay the fee I ramble on to the attendant with an enthusiasm so alien. I hand Laine theplimentary spotter pamphlet with a smile.


    I won¡¯t need it. I know so many by heart.


    The ce isn¡¯t busy, not on a cold December morning. The crowds are sparse, even though the ss ceilings bathe us in beautiful warm sunlight.


    We enter the main butterfly dome unhindered by queues.


    A mass of exotic nts. Colour and life and beating wings. Thousands upon thousands of butterflies that overload my senses. I gawp, like an imbecile, so taken by the sight that my breath catches in my throat.


    ¡°This is amazing!¡± she says, and it¡¯s all I can do to nod.


    An emerald and ck butterfly takeszy flight in front of us, its wings big and shimmering with metallic beauty. Laine frantically thumbs through the spotter guide, but I still her with a squeeze of my hand on her shoulder. ¡°Papilio blumei,¡± I tell her. ¡°Found only on the Indonesian ind of


    Swesi. It¡¯s a peacock, otherwise known as a green swallowtail.¡± ¡°It¡¯s beautiful,¡± she says, and her eyes follow it out of sight.


    ¡°I¡¯ve got one on the wall.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve seen it.¡± She smiles. ¡°But it¡¯s so much more beautiful when it¡¯s flying, don¡¯t you think?¡±


    I¡¯m sure there¡¯s no deeper meaning intended behind her words, but I feel it nheless.


    ¡°Yes, Laine. It¡¯s so much more beautiful alive.¡± ¡°I feel alive,¡± she tells me.


    ¡°Me too, sweetheart. Me too.¡±


    I wander amongst the nts, leading Laine so gently along the paths marked out. So many butterflies and I tell her about them all. I tell her their Latin names and where they¡¯re from. I tell her if they¡¯re endangered, and what sizes they grow to.


    She listens in wonder, hanging onto every word I say. I think she may love them nearly as much as I do.


    Her steps are light and bouncy, and her gasps are genuine. ¡°That one!¡± she squeals, pointing up ahead. ¡°It¡¯s so beautiful!¡± And it is.


    Of course, it is.


    The Maculinea Arion is thergest and rarest of the blue English butterflies. Little, blue-eyed Laine reminds me of one  so beautiful in her fragility. So graceful and delicate. Such a rare delight. I tell her so, and her smile melts my heart.


    ¡°That¡¯s nice.¡±


    ¡°And true, sweetheart.¡±


    The Arion flutters close, and my breath hitches, the thrill palpable. I see the butterfly¡¯s path, see so clearly that it¡¯s going tond. It couldn¡¯t be more perfect, and it makes me shiver. Fate, she would say, and I¡¯m beginning to believe her. I step away and take out my phone, just quickly enough to call up my camera app.


    The butterfly dithers around her head before itnds, perches, and ps its wings once, twice, three times before it rests, so blue against Laine¡¯s pale blonde hair. I watch my beautiful girl crowned by the beautiful butterfly, my heart full to bursting as so many others flutter around us.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org.


    Her shock is divine, her expression of wonder so beautifully innocent, and I know it for certain. Laine will love butterflies as much as I do. I can see it in her eyes.


    I capture the moment and I know it¡¯s one I will savour forever.

 Chapter 60

    TALK IS SO easy on the way home. Laine flicks through the spotter pamphlet as though it¡¯s a treasured possession, reading me out the names in Latin to make sure she has the pronunciation right. Her sweet voice makes them ethereal. Magical.


    Wonderful.


    ¡°Maybe you could teach me how to spot them in the wild,¡± she says. ¡°It sounds fun.¡±


    ¡°Harder work than the zoo.¡± I smile to myself. ¡°It¡¯s a different kind of fun, Laine, but no less enjoyable.¡±


    ¡°I think I¡¯d like it,¡± she tells me, and I do too.


    A few weeks ago I¡¯d have struggled to ever imagine myself trekking into the countryside with jars ands, but not today. Today anything feels possible.


    ¡°Better than crosswords, right?¡± she asks.


    That makes meugh. ¡°Yes, Laine, considerably better than crosswords.¡±


    ¡°Better than TV, too,¡± she says.


    We stop for dinner at a fancy little restaurant on the outskirts of the city, and I stare at her as she scours the menu.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what to choose,¡± she admits. ¡°I don¡¯t know what half this stuff is.¡±


    I slide my chair around to her side of the table and talk her through the options. Her hand rests on my knee under the tablecloth and squeezes, and she¡¯s so close, so intoxicatingly close. I can smell her shampoo, and her, close enough to enjoy the flutter of her eyshes as her eyes wander over the main courses.


    ¡°I think we should go with the winter roast,¡± I tell her.


    She nods. ¡°That sounds good to me.¡±


    I move back to my side of the table before I give our order to the waiter, and already I¡¯m missing her touch.


    ¡°When did you know you first liked butterflies?¡± she asks, and it makes me smile to realize she¡¯s still thinking about them.


    ¡°A school project,¡± I tell her. ¡°Infant school, I must¡¯ve been only five or six. A conservation assignment, British wildlife and its habitat. We went out into the meadow behind the school and I spotted a monarch fluttering from leaf to leaf. I was mesmerized by its colors. Once I started watching them I never stopped. My father bought me a for my birthday, I didn¡¯t even ask. It was a surprise.¡±


    ¡°That was nice of him, to encourage that.¡± ¡°He was a fair man. Stern, but fair,¡± I tell her.


    ¡°Stern,¡± she repeats with a smile, and I know exactly what she¡¯s thinking.


    She¡¯s picturing my father¡¯s belt on my backside, the severity of the punishment I received in his old study.


    ¡°As I said, stern but fair.¡± I pour her mineral water from the jug on the table. ¡°As I hope to be. That¡¯s what I aim for, Laine, that same bnce.¡±


    ¡°I haven¡¯t seen you stern. Not yet.¡±


    I hand her the ss. ¡°You will, given time. When it¡¯s necessary, sweetheart, only when it¡¯s necessary.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll always be good, Da-¡± Her voice falters, and I get it. She¡¯s unsure how to address me in public. Daddy Nick sounds so fucking creepy.


    Perverse and icky, as Laine would call it. Because it is. It is icky.


    Dirty.


    It¡¯s fucking dirty.


    But my cock¡¯s already hard at the thought.


    I don¡¯t care who hears us in this ce, and that¡¯s a new feeling too, the disregard for appearances. My professional conduct is the only thing in recent years I¡¯ve had to concern myself with, and that¡¯s for my father¡¯s legacy and the firm¡¯s reputation rather than anything personal.


    ¡°It¡¯s Daddy, sweetheart,¡± I tell her.


    She looks uncertain, her cheeks flushing. ¡°In public? I thought this was¡­¡±


    ¡°You thought it was at home only?¡± I raise an eyebrow. ¡°Is that what you want?¡±


    She shakes her head but she doesn¡¯t seem entirely sure. ¡°You said people wouldn¡¯t understand¡­ people like Kelly Anne¡­¡±


    ¡°And they wouldn¡¯t. Theplexity is too confusing.¡± I lean closer. ¡°In this ce, I can be your daddy or your lover. Or both.¡± I smirk. ¡°It depends how devilish you feel.¡±


    I¡¯m joking, but her eyes tell me she isn¡¯t. They sh with dark amusement, and she wants it. I know she wants it.


    Interesting.


    My sweet little Laine is certainly interesting. ¡°I¡¯ll call you Daddy,¡± she whispers.


    LAINE


    I¡¯m BURNING up as the waiter brings our meal. This is new ground, him being Daddy here, around people. It makes it seem so real and so tingly.


    The waiter smiles as he ces my te in front of me, and I wonder if I should find a way to say it aloud. I wonder if that¡¯s what Daddy Nick wants.


    He doesn¡¯t allow me to find a way. He does it for me.


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t that look lovely, sweetheart?¡± he asks. The waiter looks at me and waits for a reaction with a smile.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    My heart is racing. ¡°Yes¡­ it does, Daddy.¡±


    Daddy Nick smiles so brightly, and I feel like I¡¯ve passed a test. I like it. I like it.


    ¡°It looks yummy, Daddy,¡± I say, trying it out some more. Ites so much easier than I thought it would.


    I wonder how old the waiter thinks I am. Fifteen, maybe sixteen at most. Just the right age to have a daddy like Nick.


    ¡°Enjoy your meal,¡± the waiter says, and leaves us, just like that. As though it¡¯s the most normal thing in the world, a little girl eating out with her daddy on a Saturday evening.


    ¡°Good girl,¡± Daddy Nick says, and I feel it in my tummy.


    ¡°I don¡¯t look much like you,¡± I whisper.


    ¡°Then I guess you look like your mother.¡± His eyes twinkle so darkly, and I wonder if he¡¯s hard. I wish I could find out.


    Dinner tastes really good, but I hardly want to eat a thing. I have to force it down, but my thighs are doing that clenching thing they do, and I¡¯m squirming on my seat, hoping Daddy Nick will take me again when we get home. Hoping he¡¯ll do it fast and hard and make those horny grunts he makes when he loses control.


    ¡°Eat up,¡± he tells me. ¡°You¡¯ll need the energy when we get home.¡± I eat every single bite.

 Chapter 61

    NICK


    I DRIVE FASTER THAN USUAL, my dick straining in myp, so fucking hard at the thought of thrusting into Laine¡¯s tight little pussy.


    She doesn¡¯t speak, just stares at the road ahead. But she¡¯s fidgety, her cute little ass shuffling in the passenger seat. I know I¡¯ll find her knickers nice and wet for me, the thought makes my mouth water.


    ¡°You can touch yourself,¡± I tell her. ¡°It¡¯s dark. No one can see inside the car.¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.


    I feel her wide eyes on me. Such a delicious shock. ¡°But I¡­¡±


    ¡°But you what?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡± she admits. ¡°It feels¡­¡±


    ¡°Dirty,¡± I tell her. ¡°Daddy¡¯s feeling dirty right now, sweetheart. Daddy wants to take his little girl home and bury his cock in her pretty little cunt.¡± A pause, and then I hear the zipper on her jeans.


    ¡°Good girl.¡± My balls tighten. ¡°Make yourself nice and wet for Daddy.


    Tell him how it feels.¡±


    I can see her little hand rubbing from the corner of my eye. ¡°It feels¡­ ah¡­ it feels¡­¡±


    ¡°y with that sweet little clit, Laine, but don¡¯te. Youe only for Daddy.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ but I¡¯m so¡­¡±


    ¡°Only Daddy makes youe, Laine. Understood?¡± My voice is so harsh,ced with the pressure of my straining fucking cock.


    ¡°Yes, Daddy¡­¡± Her hand slows down its rubbing.


    We¡¯re turning onto our street before I know it, and Laine keeps rubbing herself right until I turn off the engine. She piles out of the car without fastening up her jeans, and they¡¯re so easy to yank down her thighs once we make it into the kitchen. I press into her from behind and walk her forward with frantic steps until I¡¯ve pinned her against the kitchen ind, her tiny body so delicious as I grind against her ass, my fingers snaking around to slip inside her knickers and rub at her needy little clit.


    ¡°You¡¯re so fucking wet for Daddy,¡± I hiss. ¡°So fucking wet.¡± I dip my fingertips in her slit to illustrate, and she moans for me.


    ¡°You want Daddy¡¯s cock again, don¡¯t you?¡± My mouth is right by her ear. ¡°Tell Daddy how much you want his cock.¡±


    ¡°Please, Daddy!¡± she cries. ¡°I want it so much!¡±


    ¡°Say it.¡±


    ¡°I want your cock, Daddy! Fuck me!¡± She¡¯s learning.


    The ache in my groin is more than I can fucking bear. I spin her around me and hitch her up onto the granite, tugging down her wet knickers and spreading her thighs nice and wide. Her pink slit is puffy and glistening, mine for the fucking taking as I spit on my fingers and sink two inside.


    She moans a delightful little moan, and I fuck her harder, my fingers easing and stretching her open. She¡¯s still so tight, her tiny hole such a fucking wonder. ¡°Yes! Yes, Daddy!¡±


    I move in circles, nice and deep, applying pressure until she gasps. I groan for her as I mp my mouth onto her pretty little mound, and her clit is so easy to find, standing proud for my tongue.


    She bucks her hips, urging me deeper, and I suck, flicking my tongue so quickly over that hard little bud.


    ¡°Daddy!¡± Her voice is breathless, frantic. ¡°I¡¯m gonnae, Daddy!¡±


    I stare up at my gorgeous girl, her cheeks flushed and lips parted. Her top has ridden up to her bra, and her tummy is so tight. Her legs wrap around my shoulders, and she uses them as leverage, rubbing her pussy against my face as she shudders. She loses control, cursing in such a pretty little voice, and I keep onpping until she¡¯s all used up.


    Her wetness is in my nostrils, smeared slick over my mouth. She tastes fucking divine. I get to my feet when she¡¯s done, and take out my cock, spearing her so suddenly that she squeals.


    ¡°Ow, ow, ow¡­¡± she groans as I push inside. She rocks her hips regardless as her pussy takes me, and her mouth is open wide for my kisses. Her hands reach around to grab my ass, and my horny little girl urges me on, urges harder, faster.


    Her innocence hides such a dirty little minx, just begging to be coaxed out into the open.


    I shouldn¡¯te without using protection, not without a serious discussion, but my sweet little Laine surprises me yet again. ¡°Come, Daddy! I want it! I want it in me!¡± And so do I.


    I want to fill that tight little cunt with my seed, I want to fill her up until she¡¯s swollen with my child, and her pretty little tits are so ripe.


    It¡¯s the beast within, I know it. I feel it behind my eyes, the desire to im her forever. It¡¯s all kinds of fucking wrong, but I can¡¯t resist.


    Frantic thrusts and I unload, her sweet cunt sucks it from me, milking my balls until they run dry.


    She drips as I pull out of her, and her freshly fucked hole is a sight straight from heaven.


    She catches her breath, smiling as I run a thumb over her slit. ¡°Such a good girl for Daddy,¡± I tell her. ¡°All full up.¡± Her eyes twinkle as she tugs her crumpled top over her head. ¡°I want more,¡± she says.


    LAINE


    DADDY NICK LOVES me all through Saturday night. He loves me until I¡¯m too sore to take his cock anymore, and then takes me with his mouth instead.


    Daddy Nick loves me until we¡¯re both panting and sweaty. He loves me until there are no words, only breath.


    He loves me until I fall asleep in his arms, and then he wakes and loves me again on a bright Sunday morning.


    We eat toast, and then he bathes me. He washes my hair and soaps me all over, and then he pushes his fingers inside my ass. Only this time it makes me so horny I beg him to love me all over again.


    He does.


    He gives me so much.


    He gives me everything, over and over through Sunday night.


    He¡¯s still taking me as the birds are chirping outside, and I¡¯m too scared to check my phone rm, knowing my sleep will be barely enough to function.


    It isn¡¯t.


    I don¡¯t want to wake up for college. I barely move as I hear his voice from downstairs. My head feels muggy and my pussy feels sore, and all I want to do is curl up with him and talk about butterflies, but Daddy Nick doesn¡¯t do days off.

 Chapter 62

    He¡¯s already dressed so smartly for work. Already cooking my breakfast.


    I eat slowly, my eyes still heavy with sleep, and he smiles and calls mezybones, then leaves me to clear our tes as he finishes getting ready to leave.


    I startle as he ps his hands in front of my face, and I¡¯m still in the same position at the table, my breakfast te still empty in front of me.


    ¡°Chop-chop, sweetheart, we¡¯rete. We can¡¯t bete, Laine.¡±


    His voice is stern and filled with irritation, and I feel mortified to have disappointed him in such a silly way. I rush to my feet and clear the tes with a tter, then bound upstairs two steps at a time to brush my teeth and gather my messy hair into a ponytail. I throw on my clothes, still fastening my jeans as I race to the door while he¡¯s waiting. I barely notice the lunchbox he thrusts in my hands, and follow him out to the car in a daze.


    The frosty air wakes me up enough to attempt conversation, but he¡¯s still irritated, checking the clock on the dashboard every few seconds.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Daddy,¡± I say.


    ¡°An early night for you, youngdy,¡± he tells me. I don¡¯t disagree.


    I could sleep for ten years straight.


    I¡¯m groggy when Kelly Anne catches me in the corridor. She¡¯s grinning, bursting to tell me some stupid news or other. It¡¯s about a guy, not Harrison, some other stupid stud called Mason she met down at the fish and chip shop. Mason. I doubt that¡¯s even his real name. She tells me he¡¯s built like a bear, and fucks like one, too.


    The way she talks about him you¡¯d think he was the master of the female orgasm, but she¡¯s full of shit, I can see that now.


    I wonder if she¡¯s always been so full of shit.


    Probably.


    She rolls her eyes. ¡°You don¡¯t seem all that interested. I guess Daddy Nick is so much more important than me now¡­¡± She follows me


    anyway. ¡°So, have you fucked the guy yet?¡±


    She doesn¡¯t believe for one second I¡¯ve done it. I shouldn¡¯t rise to the bait, but she¡¯s been looking at me like such a prude for so long now that I can¡¯t help but revel in the fact that I¡¯m not.


    I stop walking, and even though I¡¯m exhausted and still so gutted I upset Daddy Nick this morning, there¡¯s still a sizzle through me.


    ¡°Yes,¡± I tell her. ¡°I have. And it was great. It was amazing. He was amazing.¡± I grin, and once it¡¯s on my face it won¡¯t leave.


    She looks so shocked, her eyes so wide as she gawps at me.


    ¡°Wow,¡± she says. ¡°Congrattions.¡± It¡¯s hollow and empty. Her insincerity is so obvious now I have Nick in my life.


    Nick. I haven¡¯t thought of him with just his actual name for days.


    ¡°I love him,¡± I tell her, and I¡¯m so confident with the statement it takes me aback. ¡°I love him and he loves me, and it¡¯s amazing.¡±


    She shrugs. ¡°Yeah, well, I thought that about my first shag, too. You¡¯ll get over it.¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°It¡¯s different.¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah? How would you know?¡±


    There are a million reasons I¡¯d know. The way he looks at me, the way he cares, the way he holds me and kisses me and his eyes turn so dark when he wants me. The way he breathes so steadily when he¡¯s sleeping next to me. The way he speaks with me, shares things with me, the way he¡¯s so tender when he brushes my hair.


    ¡°I just know,¡± I tell her, and there¡¯s that confidence again. I¡¯ve never been confident before. It feels so weird.


    ¡°So, what you gonna do now? Get knocked up and have two-point-four kids and live happily ever after in his fancy house?¡±


    The thought of that makes me feel so tickly inside. ¡°Maybe.¡±


    She looks at me like I¡¯m an idiot. A real idiot. ¡°Jesus, Laine. What¡¯s wrong with you? You want to have kids with a creepy guy?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s not creepy.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s so fucking creepy. Buying you a phone and making your sandwiches, dressing you up sweet in your cute little pastel clothes.¡±


    I look down at my outfit. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with my clothes?¡±


    ¡°Urgh. Nothing.¡± She rolls her eyes again. ¡°I¡¯m just worried, alright?


    You¡¯re so weirdtely.¡±


    Happy. I think the word is happy. It¡¯s on the tip of my tongue to tell her, but as usual, she¡¯s done with talking about me. ¡°He does know you¡¯reing out for my birthday, right?¡±


    My heart drops at the revtion. Kelly Anne¡¯s birthday. I calcte the date. Saturday. The thought pains.


    ¡°I, um¡­ I didn¡¯t know we were¡­¡±


    She looks genuinely hurt. ¡°You¡¯re noting?! For real? Like we don¡¯t always go out on my fucking birthday!¡±


    I wouldn¡¯t call it that. A couple down her local pub where they knew we were underage but didn¡¯t care.


    ¡°We can go,¡± I say. ¡°Just for a few, like normal.¡±


    She groans. ¡°No way, Laine! Clubbing on the beachfront. There¡¯s a drum and bass night I want to check out.¡± My stomach lurches at the thought, and she must see the horror. ¡°I said I was sorry! You can keep hold of your shit this time if you¡¯re so worried.¡±


    I want to say no, want to tell her to go out with some of her fake


    Facebook friends instead. The ones who like herments but don¡¯t give a shit about her in real life.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°You¡¯d have more fun with other people, Kels. I¡¯m not really up for drinking that much.¡±


    Her frown makes me feel so guilty. ¡°But you¡¯re my best friend! I want you to meet Mason! Please, Laine! Jeez, do you want me to fucking beg or something? I said I¡¯m sorry aboutst time, what else do you want?¡± ss is about to start, but she folds her arms and makes no move to leave.


    ¡°Please, Laine! Say you¡¯lle!¡±


    I¡¯m so cornered. Cornered and guilty.


    ¡°I¡¯ll talk to Nick¡­¡±


    ¡°You need his permission now?!¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I say. And I don¡¯t. I¡¯m sure I don¡¯t. Even though I¡¯m also sure I do.


    ¡°So you¡¯lle, then?¡±


    I¡¯m trapped. Her eyes pleading and her shoulders so rigid. I¡¯m trapped into going out for her birthday because she¡¯s been my friend for as long as I


    can remember.


    ¡°Alright,¡± I say. ¡°I¡¯lle. But only for a few, okay? Just for a few!¡±


    She grins, triumphant, then slings her arm around my shoulder as we head for ss.


    All I feel is dread.

 Chapter 63

    NICK


    I¡¯m MORE tired than I can remember. Amusing though it is, I should be far too sensible to indulge in a crazy weekend of fucking on such little sleep.


    Still, I feel sated. Thoroughly sated.


    I feel blessed. Calm.


    Loved.


    A tap on my door, and my bright-eyed assistant steps in. She looks considerably fresher than I feel.


    ¡°Morning, Penny,¡± I offer, and my tiredness fades into the background as I notice the box in her hands.


    ¡°Morning, Mr Lynch.¡± Her smile is nervous. ¡°I picked out that gift you wanted. Charged it to your expenses ount on the weekend. I hope that¡¯s okay,¡± she dithers in front of my desk, so unsure. ¡°It was expensive¡­¡± I wave her concerns aside. ¡°That¡¯s great, Penny. Thank you.¡± She sighs and pretends to wipe her brow. And then she hands it over.


    The box is ck leather with fine embossed lettering. It opens so smoothly in my hands.


    Penny stares at me as I stare at the gift she¡¯s chosen. It¡¯s beautiful. A perfect heart, so tasteful in its simplicity, twinkling with a delicate pink stone as an ent.


    ¡°It¡¯s tinum,¡± she says. ¡°And that¡¯s a real diamond¡­¡±


    ¡°An excellent choice.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m d you like it.¡±


    I close the box and meet her smile. ¡°Thank you, Penny.¡±


    She hovers, and I stay quiet as she plucks up whatever courage she¡¯s summoning. ¡°Will she like it?¡± ¡°I hope so,¡± I say.


    ¡°She¡¯s a lucky girl.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll appreciate such a beautiful gift.¡± I wait for it, interested to see how bold she is with her questioning.


    She keeps her eyes on the box. ¡°Will she wear it to the Christmas party?¡±


    The Christmas party.


    I¡¯ve barely given it a thought. It¡¯s been merely a duty up until now. My attendance is a necessary annoyance as a senior partner in the practice.


    I imagine Laine on my arm this year, and the prospect is considerably more appealing.


    ¡°I would think so, Penny.¡±


    Her eyes are so warm. ¡°That¡¯s great. What¡¯s her name?¡± ¡°Laine,¡± I say.


    ¡°Laine,¡± she repeats. ¡°I look forward to meeting her.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll enjoy meeting you, too.¡±


    She makes to leave, but I call her back. ¡°One more thing, Penny, if you will.¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    I open the gallery app on my phone and ping a copy of the butterfly picture to her inbox as she waits. ¡°I¡¯ve emailed you an image. I¡¯d like it printed, please, a frame, too. I know you¡¯ll find something just perfect.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll do my best, Mr Lynch.¡± I¡¯m sure she will.


    My phone tells me it¡¯s almost lunchtime and I drop it back onto my desk. I¡¯ve just had time to finish up my current report before it¡¯s time to call Laine.


    LAINE


    KELLY ANNE DOESN¡¯T BOTHER SPEAKING as we sit in the canteen. She knows the routine by now, knows he¡¯ll be calling me any minute.


    I dig in my bag for my phone, just like always. I like to be prepared for when his calles in.


    Only my phone isn¡¯t in my bag this morning.


    I root around, as though searching all the harder will make it materialise out of thin air.


    Kelly Anne sighs as she watches. ¡°Left your fancy phone at home, did you? Daddy Nick¡¯s gonna be pissed you¡¯re not at his beck and call.¡± She has no idea.


    I feel like such an ass for sleeping in and rushing so fast to make it up to him. I can imagine exactly where my phone is, still plugged in at the side of the bed, probably still chirping out the rm that I snoozed ten times this morning. Shit.


    I feel myself pale, my mouth dry as paper.


    ¡°Chill, Laine, it¡¯s just a phone. No big deal.¡±


    But it is a big deal. He always calls at one on the dot. He likes to get hold of me, to check I¡¯m okay.


    ¡°He always calls¡­¡± I begin like she has a hope of hell of understanding.


    ¡°So?¡±


    ¡°So, he always calls. It¡¯s important.¡±


    She tuts at me. ¡°So important. I¡¯m sure he can wait a few hours for a status update on how yummy your sandwich was.¡±


    I wish I could exin, but there¡¯s no way I will. I wish I could tell her how worried he¡¯ll be, how much tragedy he¡¯s been through. I wish I could tell her that keeping me safe is everything to Daddy Nick.


    I try to figure out ay to get hold of him, but the idea of calling him at the office practically brings on a panic attack. What would I even say? And would he be angry?


    More angry than he¡¯ll be at me for forgetting my phone?


    I probably already made himte this morning, and now this. I feel like such an idiot.


    Maybe he¡¯ll punish me.


    The thought is right there, and so is the guilty flutter between my legs.


    I shouldn¡¯t want that. Definitely shouldn¡¯t want him to be mad with me.


    Disappointed in me.


    I wonder if he¡¯ll use the belt his father used on him. I wonder how much it¡¯ll hurt.


    Maybe he won¡¯t.


    Maybe he¡¯ll brush it off and tell me to be more careful next time.


    I doubt it. And I¡¯m not sure that¡¯s such a bad thing.


    ¡°Chill, Laine, you look like you¡¯ve seen a fucking ghost.¡± Kelly Anne sighs and takes a swig of her drink.


    The nerves are dancing in my tummy, and the tickles tickle between my legs. I feel sick, hot and cold, and tingly all at once.


    ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have forgotten my phone,¡± I say. But Kelly Anne doesn¡¯t care at all.


    NICK


    I CALL AGAIN. And again after that.


    I stare at my phone screen and breathe through irrational nerves.


    Maybe she¡¯s been held up in ss. Maybe she¡¯s in a noisy canteen.


    It happens.


    I¡¯m fooling myself. It¡¯s part of the rules, our lunchtime phone call. She always answers on the second ring. Like clockwork.


    Only not today.


    I consider my options, contemting calling the college reception and leaving a message for her, but what would be the point?


    I¡¯ll look like a stalker for the sake of easing my paranoia, that or rming her unnecessarily.


    I force myself to get a grip, to reflect on the morning, and to weigh up the situation rationally.


    She was tired and rushed, barely awake when I dropped her off at college. There¡¯s almost certainly an entirely innocent exnation.


    Almost certainly.


    If there is then I shall punish her for breaking the rules so carelessly, and if there isn¡¯t¡­


    I daren¡¯t even give that a thought.


    I STRUGGLE through my afternoon appointments, endeavoring to give my clients my professional attention with my nerves wound tight in my chest.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    I try Laine¡¯s phone again during a lull in meetings. It rings through to voicemail just as Michael French steps into my room. He¡¯s my joint senior partner, as much of a friend as I¡¯d ss anyone, not that the bar¡¯s particrly high.


    His smile tells me he¡¯s heard the news. I wouldn¡¯t have imagined anything less, not now I¡¯ve given Penny gossip-wortdetailslsI didn¡¯t expect the news would stay a secret, and I¡¯m sure Penny didn¡¯t consider it confidential information, not now I¡¯m officially bringing my partner he theristmas party.


    ¡°Tell me about Laine with the pink diamond,¡± Mike says and holds out his hand across the desk. ¡°Congrattions on theouple¡¯sstatus.¡±


    I shake it warmly. ¡°Word travels fast¡­¡±


    ¡°Secretaries talk.¡± He tips his head. ¡°She must be quite a woman to snare a stoic old dog like you.¡±


    ¡°Enough of the old.¡± Iugh a professionalugh, even though it feels like rusty iron in my throat.


    ¡°So,¡± he prompts. ¡°What¡¯s she like? You kept that one close to your chest.¡±


    I cast another nce at my phone before I answer. No messages. ¡°She¡¯s sweet and kind. Gracious. Beautiful.¡±


    ¡°Blonde?¡±


    I smile. ¡°Blonde, yes.¡±


    ¡°Nice legs?¡±


    I meet his stare. ¡°Nice smile. A nice heart. The legs are merely a bonus,


    Mike.¡±


    ¡°So she does have nice legs¡­¡± Heughs to himself. ¡°Can¡¯t wait to meet her. I¡¯m sure Barbara will love getting to know her.¡±


    Barbara French celebrated her fiftieth birthdayst summer. She¡¯s a wildfire, a sharp cracker with a sharp tongue and absolutely nothing inmon with little Laine.


    Mike¡¯s digging and I know it. I make him wait, pretending to check out a fresh email.


    I use the moment to contemte whether I¡¯m ready for this, but it doesn¡¯t take all that long to consider.


    I¡¯m ready for everything Laine brings to my life, including any awkward questions.


    I take a breath. ¡°She¡¯s eighteen, Mike.¡± I hold his stare without flinching.


    He doesn¡¯t flinch either. ¡°A sweet young thing, I¡¯m sure.¡±


    ¡°Very.¡±


    ¡°Then I¡¯m happy for you.¡± His smile is genuine enough. ¡°We should go out one night to celebrate with some champagne. Introduce young Laine to our office family.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯ll being to the Christmas party,¡± I tell him like he hasn¡¯t already heard.


    ¡°Excellent. I¡¯ll be bringing Caroline, she¡¯s back from university and no doubt she¡¯ll be bored enough toe along. I¡¯m sure they¡¯ll get on fantastically. Maybe they could spend some time together. Caroline gets lonely without her uni pals. You know how it is when you¡¯re that age.¡±


    I¡¯m not sure I remember, but smile regardless. ¡°I¡¯m sure Laine would enjoy that,¡± I tell him.


    ¡°Excellent,¡± he says. ¡°I look forward to meeting the future Mrs Lynch.¡±


    I raise my eyebrows. ¡°That¡¯s quite a statement.¡±


    ¡°She must be quite a woman,¡± he says again. ¡°Any woman that can catch your heart after all these years has got to be one to keep hold of.¡± He tips his head at me. ¡°I¡¯ll get Barbara to pick out a hat ready for the big day.¡± ¡°You do that,¡± I say.


    He thinks I¡¯m joking, I¡¯m sure, and on some level I am. Making polite conversation for the sake of appearances. But it¡¯s more than that. She¡¯s bing a part of my life.


    It feels beautiful, and that only makes me worry all the more. I try her phone again.

 Chapter 64

    LAINE


    I RUSH out through the college gates, sighing in relief to find his car in the usual spot. I throw myself into the passenger seat, full of sorry exnations.


    I¡¯m an idiot! I forgot my phone! I rushed out and left it there, right there by the bedside table! I¡¯m so sorry. I¡¯m an idiot. I¡¯m an idiot. I¡¯m an idiot.


    He doesn¡¯t say a word, just reverses the Mercedes out of the space and heads for home.


    I don¡¯t know what else I can say, so I say nothing, just tap my fingers on my lunchbox.


    I wish he¡¯d go crazy and tell me how angry he is, just to get it over with, but he doesn¡¯t.


    ¡°I was worried,¡± he says, so simply.


    ¡°I know,¡± I tell him. ¡°I get it. I get how worried you¡¯d be. I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°Rushing is a fool¡¯s errand, Laine. Carelessness leads nowhere good.¡± I tell him I know that, too. Tell him I¡¯m sorry again.


    He says nothing else and just stares at the road ahead.


    I hate how it feels to disappoint him.


    He pulls onto our driveway and parks up as usual. He opens the front door and steps inside as usual. Hangs his jacket up as usual.


    And then he heads through to the sitting room. I follow him, hoping that maybe he¡¯ll break the ice and tell me about his day, but he doesn¡¯t.


    He unfastens his cufflinks as I watch, and rolls his cuffs back.


    My heart races, and I¡¯m not even sure why. I just know that something¡¯s brewing.


    That tickle between my legs again, but it¡¯s faint under the nerves.


    ¡°Naughty girls need discipline, sweetheart. I told you what happens when you disregard the rules.¡±


    ¡°Yes, Daddy,¡± I whisper. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Daddy.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you are,¡± he tells me and his voice is stern again, like it was when I waste this morning. ¡°But sorry alone isn¡¯t enough to learn your lesson, Laine. The rules are there for a reason, to keep you safe.¡±


    ¡°I know, Daddy¡­¡± I feel so young again. Young and ditzy and awkward, barely like the horny little cow who took his cock all weekend.


    ¡°You know that I have to do this.¡±


    I nod, because I do know, at least I think I do. It¡¯s part of being taken care of, discipline. I¡¯ve never had discipline, because I¡¯ve never had anyone who cared enough. Not like he cares.


    Discipline means caring.


    The feeling in my heart makes more sense than the words sound in my head.


    He beckons me closer. I step forward so slowly. ¡°Take off your jeans,¡± he says.


    My heart thumps. ¡°Okay, Daddy.¡±


    My fingers fumble because they¡¯re so shaky. I shimmy my jeans down my legs and step out of them, feeling so naughty as Daddy Nick stares at me in just my knickers. He¡¯s not smiling, not even a bit. His brows are so firm and serious.


    He takes a seat in the armchair, his back upright and knees rigid. He pats hisp, and my legs are wobbly as I step over to join him. ¡°Over my knee,¡± he says.


    I¡¯ve never been over someone¡¯s knee before. I lower myself so tentatively, but he grabs me and hauls me into position, my ass raised so vulnerably on hisp. The shame makes me burn.


    I squeak as he tugs my knickers down. They bunch around my knees, and it feels so naughty I screw my eyes shut.


    ¡°I¡¯m doing this for your good,¡± he tells me, and his palm brushes my bare thigh. ¡°YourYou¡¯red, and mine, too.¡± I manage another nod.


    ¡°This is going to hurt,¡± he says, but I already know that.


    The first p takes me by surprise even though it shouldn¡¯t. I jolt forward on hisp, but he¡¯s got me. His arm presses onto my back to hold me steady while his other hand spanks me, and it hurts. It hurts.


    Daddy Nick hits hard.


    ¡°Ow!¡± I squeak. ¡°Ow, ow, ow¡­¡±


    My little shrieks don¡¯t do anything to put him off his stride. If anything it only makes him hit harder. It burns hot. Stings, too. Until the warmth begins to glow and tingle and my breathing slows from ragged gulps into long slow breaths.


    ¡°Naughty, careless, reckless little girl,¡± he grunts, every word highlighted by a thwack of his palm.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    I squeal when he ps my thighs, and that makes the burn start up afresh. My hair swishes around my face with every blow, and his knees press into my hips as I teeter on hisp.


    He tugs me closer for extra bnce, and that¡¯s when I feel him. Feel how hard he is.


    The burn on my ass spreads to my pussy. I want to clench my thighs but I don¡¯t dare.


    He spreads my burning cheeks and I let out a gasp as his fingers slip round to my pussy.


    ¡°Is Daddy¡¯s punishment making you wet, Laine?¡± he asks. I¡¯m not sure whether he wants me to be excited or not, so I don¡¯t say a word. He finds out for himself, slipping a finger inside me and moving it in and out. I¡¯m sure he¡¯s left under no illusion. ¡°Does making Daddy worried turn you on?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I squeal. ¡°No, Daddy! I just¡­¡±


    ¡°You just what?¡±


    ¡°I just¡­¡± I struggle to find the words. ¡°I just like how it feels¡­¡± He shifts underneath me. I guess that means he likes how it feels, too. His finger is still in my pussy, and I wish so hard he¡¯d touch my clit and make mee.


    ¡°You¡¯re a naughty girl, Laine.¡±


    My face burns nearly as hot as my ass. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Daddy,¡± I whisper. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to be bad.¡±


    ¡°I think you like your punishment, Laine. I hope this doesn¡¯t mean you¡¯ll misbehave for more.¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I shake my head. ¡°I won¡¯t, I promise.¡±


    I like it more than I should, that¡¯s for sure. I guess I am naughty.


    ¡°Say thank you to Daddy.¡±


    I don¡¯t know quite what he means until he eases me to the floor. His hand tangles in my hair and guides me to my knees before him, and he¡¯s loosening his belt and unbuttoning his trousers.


    I stare at him with wide eyes, so embarrassed at how flushed and disheveled I must look.


    He pulls his cock free and he is hard. The tip glistens, and I realize how much I must¡¯ve been wriggling on hisp.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Daddy,¡± I whisper as he guides it to my lips. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°What are you thankful for, Laine?¡±


    I so want to answer correctly. ¡°I¡¯m thankful for¡­ you teaching me¡­ how to be a good girl.¡±


    ¡°And teaching you to be a bad girl, too?¡±


    ¡°Yes, Daddy. And that.¡±


    ¡°Suck me,¡± he says and pushes his cock between my lips.


    I¡¯ve taken Daddy Nick in my mouth so many times by now, but not like this. His fingers hold my hair so tight, and he thrusts his hips so hard that I retch around his cock. He doesn¡¯t let go, and I splutter and choke until my eyes stream.


    ¡°Good little girls suck Daddy¡¯s cock so sweetly,¡± he grunts, but there¡¯s nothing sweet about the way I¡¯m sucking him. Nothing sweet at all.


    It¡¯s noisy and wet and slurpy, and spit dribbles down my chin and drips onto the floor. I¡¯m unsteady with my knickers still bunched around my knees, and it gives him so much power to move me wherever he wants.


    My head bobs like a doll¡¯s, my throat gurgling as he fucks my face, but I don¡¯t stop looking at him, don¡¯t stop wanting more.


    ¡°You are a naughty little girl,¡± he tells me, and I believe him. I am a naughty girl. ¡°Misbehave again and you¡¯ll get the belt,¡± he threatens, and I know it¡¯s not an idle threat.


    I wonder whether I¡¯ll like it as much as I liked his hand on my ass.


    I wonder whether I¡¯ll ever get to find out.


    ¡°Daddy¡¯s going toe,¡± he tells me. ¡°Daddy¡¯s going toe in your naughty little mouth, Laine.¡±


    I squeeze my thighs together and it makes my clit spark.


    I¡¯m so ready for Daddy¡¯se. I hope my eyes tell him so.


    He thrusts to the back of my throat and swears under his breath, and I taste him. It makes me snort and that¡¯s full of cum, too. My eyes stream, but I don¡¯t care. I love being messy with Daddy Nick¡¯s cum.


    I gulp in breath as he pulls out, and there¡¯s a stream of spit between the tip of his cock and my chin. He wipes it up with his thumb and sucks it into his mouth.


    ¡°Dirty girl,¡± he says.


    But I think Daddy Nick is the dirtiest one of all.

 Chapter 65

    NICK


    I¡¯m NOT sure how well Laine has learned her lesson, but she eats her dinner demurely and I have no reason to press the issue further.


    I don¡¯t doubt she¡¯s sorry and feel assured she won¡¯t forget her phone again anytime soon. I know my possessiveness is irrational, and I¡¯m fully aware that my punishment could be considered heavy-handed, but there¡¯s so much more at y within this situation.


    I think my dirty little girl needed discipline as much as I needed to enforce it.


    I decided to lighten the mood, gracing her with a smile as she forks up her carrots.


    ¡°I¡¯d like you to apany me to my work Christmas party,¡± I tell her.


    ¡°If you¡¯d be happy toe along.¡±


    Her eyes light up, her fork pauses halfway to her mouth. ¡°Your party?


    Like a¡­ date?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll being as my partner,¡± I tell her. ¡°I¡¯ve already told my colleagues about you.¡±


    ¡°You have?¡± She looks so surprised.


    ¡°Of course, I have, sweetheart. You¡¯re not a secret. I¡¯m very proud to have you at my side.¡±


    A smile blooms on her face. ¡°I¡¯d like that.¡± ¡°I¡¯m d,¡± I tell her, and I am.


    ¡°Won¡¯t they think I¡¯m too young? I mean, I look young¡­¡±


    ¡°They know how old you are.¡±


    She puts her fork back on the te, carrots untouched. ¡°Wow. I didn¡¯t expect¡­¡±


    I reach for her wrist and squeeze. ¡°Didn¡¯t expect what?¡±


    She shrugs. ¡°Just didn¡¯t expect¡­ so much¡­ I didn¡¯t know if you¡¯d want your colleagues to know.¡±


    ¡°I do,¡± I tell her. ¡°I¡¯m very proud.¡±


    Her eyes sparkle. ¡°Thanks, Daddy Nick. I¡¯d love toe to your party with you.¡±


    ¡°Then we shall get you a dress.¡± I smile. ¡°A beautiful dress for my beautiful girl.¡±


    It¡¯s on the tip of my tongue to mention the ne, but I leave it.


    Surprises are so special when they involve Laine.


    ¡°I¡¯ve never been to a posh party,¡± she admits. ¡°I¡¯ve never needed a proper dress.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re going to look stunning, Laine. I¡¯ll be the envy of every man there.¡±


    She looks so coy. So unaware of her beauty. ¡°Thank you, Daddy,¡± she says. ¡°You¡¯re too good to me.¡± She¡¯s wrong, I¡¯m not too good to her. It¡¯s fate that¡¯s being too good to me.


    LAINE


    I¡¯m GOING to Daddy Nick¡¯s work party and I can¡¯t quite believe it. I¡¯m so excited I could explode, and practically knock Kelly Anne off her feet as I grab her outside the college entrance.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to a ball!¡± I tell her. ¡°A real ball! With Nick! He¡¯s going to get me a pretty dress and I get to meet all his work colleagues. I¡¯m going to a ball!¡±


    She looks just as unimpressed as I expected, but that doesn¡¯t matter. I just needed to say it out loud.


    ¡°I hope he¡¯s going to get you a pretty dress for my birthday party, too.¡± I could shrivel into nothing on the spot.


    I should¡¯ve asked Daddy Nick about Kelly Anne¡¯s party, butst night just didn¡¯t seem right. Not after I was in so much trouble for messing up already.


    ¡°I¡¯ll talk to him about it,¡± I tell her and she groans.


    ¡°So you haven¡¯t told him?¡±


    I shrug. ¡°We were busy.¡±


    ¡°Busy, right.¡± She folds her arms. ¡°Too busy to be bothered with the most important day of my year.¡±


    She¡¯s being a drama queen, and I can¡¯t be bothered to pander to it anymore. ¡°I¡¯ll talk to him,¡± I say, and leave it at that.


    ¡°Make sure you do,¡± she says. ¡°Besties before guys, that¡¯s the rule.¡± I fight the urge tough in her face.


    She¡¯s never followed that rule in her life.


    NICK


    MY FRAMED PRINT of Laine is waiting on my desk. It¡¯s perfect, just as I knew it would be. The frame is stylish and tasteful. A simple brushed silver lined with crackled pieces of blue shell that catch the light. It matches the blue of the butterfly magnificently.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    I poke my head around the door to give Penny my thanks, and it startles her. ¡°You¡¯re wee, Mr Lynch,¡± she says.


    I¡¯m about to retreat to my workload when she spins on her chair. She digs around in her desk drawer and hands me a set of keys.


    ¡°To the house, you wanted fixing up,¡± she exins. ¡°It¡¯s all done. New locks, cleared of all the rubbish. I¡¯ve had the walls freshly painted, and new floorsid where they couldn¡¯t be salvaged, which was pretty much everywhere.¡± She pauses as she gathers her thoughts, mentally checking items off on her fingers. ¡°I had to get new curtains for the living room and new blinds for the kitchen. Oh, and some new furniture. A new coffee table, sofa, and a couple of wardrobes. Oh, and some new cupboard doors for the kitchen units.¡±


    I turn the keys over in my hand. ¡°Thank you, Penny. You¡¯ve worked hard, I appreciate it.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s my job,¡± she says. It¡¯s very far from being her job and we both know it. She hands over an inventory of work done, and a pen for me to


    sign it off. ¡°Shall I charge it to your expenses?¡±


    I nod. ¡°Please.¡±


    I sign without even checking the figures and it doesn¡¯t go unnoticed.


    ¡°It¡¯s Laine¡¯s house, right?¡± she questions.


    ¡°It was Laine¡¯s house.¡±


    Her smile is so friendly as she takes the documents back. ¡°She¡¯s so much better off where she is now,¡± shements. ¡°With you,¡± she adds, as though there was any confusion.


    ¡°I¡¯m d you think so,¡± I tell her, and I am.


    I lock the keys in my desk drawer the minute I¡¯m back in my office and hope I never have cause to use them.


    I never want Laine to go back there. She belongs with me now.

 Chapter 66

    I contemte telling her about the house as we drive home, but I can¡¯t find the words. For all the rational control I have over my life, I¡¯m aware that life still holds so many insecurities. The vulnerability of loving someone so much you¡¯re afraid of losing them. The vulnerability of Laine¡¯s old life is a viable alternative to the one we share.


    She seems happy at my side, never any mention of the old house or how it¡¯s doing.


    I suspect she¡¯s keen to stay in blissful ignorance, just as I am to keep her that way.


    She nces in my direction. ¡°Good day at the office?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I say. ¡°Penny, my assistant, had the butterfly picture of you framed for me. It¡¯s on my desk.¡±


    ¡°It is? Really?¡±


    ¡°Really.¡±


    She giggles. ¡°Now I can stare at you all day, even when I¡¯m not with you.¡±


    ¡°I like you staring at me, especially when I¡¯m staring back.¡± ¡°Me too,¡± she says.


    SHE¡¯S SURPRISINGLY quiet as I make dinner, pretending, as usual, to be absorbed in some assignment while her pen tap tap taps at her notepad. Something¡¯s clearly on her mind, and I wonder whether she¡¯s still fretting over her punishmentst night.


    ¡°I need to ask you something,¡± she tells me finally, and I stop stirring the pan to listen. ¡°It¡¯s Kelly Anne¡¯s birthday on Saturday. She wants me to go. Out, I mean. Clubbing.¡±


    She¡¯s under no illusion as to what I think of Kelly Anne. Her pen taps all the faster.


    ¡°Clubbing?¡±


    She nods. ¡°Some drum and bass club on the beachfront. I¡¯ve told her


    I¡¯m only interested in going for a couple of drinks.¡± ¡°Kelly Anne leads you into trouble, Laine,¡± I tell her.


    ¡°I know. But this time I won¡¯t let her.¡±


    ¡°It sounds to me as though your mind is already made up.¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t go¡­¡± she says. ¡°Not if you don¡¯t want me to. I¡¯ll tell her I can¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Do you want to go, Laine?¡± I keep my eyes on hers as I wait for her answer.


    She shrugs, a usual response. ¡°She¡¯s my friend. My only friend. I always go out with her for her birthday.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not what I asked.¡±


    She sighs. ¡°I think I should go.¡±


    ¡°Should and want are two very different things, sweetheart.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s my friend,¡± she repeats. ¡°She¡¯ll be so sad if I don¡¯t.¡±


    I very much doubt Kelly Anne has either the capacity or the loyalty to give a shit whether Laine is there or not after a couple of tequs, but I keep that to myself.


    ¡°I¡¯ll need to know you¡¯re safe,¡± I tell her, and she smiles.


    ¡°I¡¯ll stay safe, I promise.¡±


    ¡°Midnight,¡± I tell her. ¡°I¡¯ll meet you at midnight, on the front by the pier. Insist she walks you back to the car, and make sure you keep your phone with you.¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I will.¡± Her grin is so bright. ¡°Thank you, Daddy Nick. I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d let me go.¡±


    ¡°It isn¡¯t a case of letting you do anything, sweetheart. You¡¯re free to make your own decisions, I¡¯m just here to keep you safe.¡±


    ¡°You do keep me safe,¡± she says. ¡°I never felt safe until I found you.¡± I only hope it stays that way.


    I dish up our meal without another word.


    LAINE


    DADDY NICK and I get ready for bed together every night. I¡¯m brushing my teeth when he joins me to brush his, and I take a final pee before sleep while he¡¯s finishing up.


    He doesn¡¯t always wipe me, but he always watches. He¡¯s watching when I discover a healthy splotch of blood on the tissue paper.


    My period.


    My first period in this house.


    He spits out his toothpaste and rinses his mouth. ¡°We now know Daddy hasn¡¯t given you a situation along with his cum,¡± hements. ¡°At least not yet, anyway.¡±


    I guess I should feel relieved, but I don¡¯t. I feel strangely sad.


    ¡°That¡¯s good, I suppose,¡± I say, assuming that¡¯s the right response.


    ¡°Do you think that¡¯s good?¡±


    I wipe more blood away. ¡°Yeah,¡± I say, even though I don¡¯t think I mean it. ¡°That¡¯s sensible, right?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not worried about sensible, Laine, I¡¯m interested in how you feel about it.¡±


    I don¡¯t know how I feel about it, I tell him so. He kneels beside me and wipes me afresh. It¡¯s be so normal, for for him to do this, I don¡¯t even flinch. ¡°It needs some thought,¡± he says. ¡°If it¡¯s not something you¡¯re happy to risk, we¡¯ll have to use protection.¡±


    The idea of having him fuck me through a slimy condom doesn¡¯t sound horny at all. I like, how we do it. I like feeling him, only him. I¡¯m not interested in having a load of rubber inside me.


    There¡¯s blood on my knickers, so Daddy Nick heads into my bedroom and finds me a fresh pair. He takes the pack of sanitary pads from my collection of toiletries and tears one open. I wonder if anyone else does this, but it¡¯s only a passing thought. I don¡¯t realize what anyone else does anymore, just as long as it¡¯s good enough for us.


    I get to my feet and he slides my knickers up my thighs,plete with a freshly ced pad. ¡°That should keep youfortable for the night,¡± he says.


    ¡°I hope I don¡¯t ruin the sheets.¡±


    He smiles. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter if you do, sheets can be reced, sweetheart.¡±


    That¡¯s not what meant to say. I want to tell him there¡¯s an icky sadness in my belly, as though I was secretly rooting for something I didn¡¯t want to tell him that I¡¯ve been having flutters doing my child development lectures at college and wondering how it would feel to have Daddy Nick¡¯s baby growing inside me.


    I want to tell him that maybe it wouldn¡¯t be that bad. ThaMaybem more is ready than I thought I was wanton and wanwawantedar more than I ever expected it to.


    I will tell him nothing of the kind.

 Chapter 67

    LAINE


    KELLY ANNE POURSses a sneaky vodka from her dad¡¯s bottle and tops it up with cheap c. She clinks her ss against mine as she ys some drum and bassption I don¡¯t like, as though simply having a bit of alcohol is cause for celebration. It doesn¡¯t feel like it. Not so much.


    I¡¯ve learned since herst birthday that some celebrations mean something, but it seems Kelly Anne didn¡¯t get tagged in that particr life post.


    ¡°Gonna get so fucking trashed tonight!¡± she tells me, and my stomach rolls before I¡¯ve even taken a sip. I have no doubt she¡¯s gonna get so fucking trashed tonight, only there¡¯s no way I¡¯ll be joining her in that. Not with Daddy Nick¡¯s Mercedes waiting like a pumpkin carriage as midnight strikes.


    I¡¯ve been telling her all week about my curfew. I didn¡¯t say it like that, that it¡¯s a curfew, just that we have ns. ns. We do have ns. Nick is going to take me shopping for a Christmas party dress tomorrow once the birthday celebration is done and dusted. He always says birthday celebration in that tone now when ites to Kelly Anne. He says everything in that funny tone when ites to Kelly Anne.


    ¡°Are you wearing that?¡± she asks, and I stare down at myself to work out exactly which one she¡¯s referring to. I¡¯m dressed up, for me, wearing one of the sweet dresses Nick bought me and a pair of smart enough leggings underneath. He told me I looked beautiful, and I felt it. I¡¯m not going to let Kelly Anne ruin that for me.


    ¡°I love this dress,¡± I tell her.


    ¡°Sure, it¡¯s nice,¡± she says. ¡°But we¡¯re going out. Can¡¯t you wear something more dressy?¡± Slutty, she means.


    Her ck little number is up to her ass and barely covers her nipples.


    I¡¯ve actually been wondering how it would feel to wear something like that, but only for him, and only at home. Only when his eyes are dark and dirty and he wants me like that.


    I definitely wouldn¡¯t want to wear it for a club full of drunk randoms, though.


    ¡°I love this dress,¡± I repeat, and there¡¯s that confidence in my voice again that surprises me every time ites out.


    ¡°Suit yourself,¡± she says, and downs the rest of her drink.


    I take another sip of mine and it tastes icky.


    ¡°You used to be more fun than this.¡± She rolls her eyes. ¡°This older guy crap is making you so dull, Laine.¡±


    Not so long ago it would have hurt to hear I was dull. Not so long ago I¡¯d have tried my best to make her birthday the best night ever and downed that vodka with her and told her she looks amazing.


    Being with Nick is changing me, she¡¯s right about that. I feel it right the way through me, the way I have so much less time for her nasty opinions or her whining about what I should and shouldn¡¯t be doing as her bestie. I didn¡¯t realize how many little conditions she has over every single thing we do together.


    Nick has rules, but they¡¯re all for me, for us. Kelly Anne¡¯s silly rules are for nobody else but herself.


    She checks herself in the mirror for the millionth time, snaps a selfie, and uploads it with a load of trendy hashtags for her fake friends on Facebook, and then she grabs her handbag.


    ¡°Come on, bestie,¡± she whoops. ¡°It¡¯s party time!¡± I can hardly contain my excitement.


    NICK


    I WISH she hadn¡¯t gone. I wish she¡¯d have decided for herself that her friend Kelly Anne treats her like a piece of shit on her shoe, keeping her close for the sake of vanity and little else.


    It pains me that a selfish little cow like that has meant so much to my sweet Laine, but I¡¯d dropped her at her friend¡¯s house kissed her hair, and told her to have a good time.


    Some life lessons need to be learned for yourself.


    I keep an eye on the clock, even though it¡¯s barely scraped past eight. I keep my phone close by, just in case she calls and wants me toe for her, or if¡­ anything else happens to her.


    I concentrate on a month-end report just to keep the paranoia at bay. The drunks, the people popping pills, the people out for an easy fuck with little regard for who they take it from. All things that my beautiful girl is too optimistic about human nature to avoid.


    She always sees the best in everyone, and I love her for it. And it worries the shit out of me, knowing she¡¯s out there with the dregs of Saturday night partying with only a non-friend to watch her back, but still, I love her for her dedication in persisting with it.


    Midnight.


    I¡¯ll see her at midnight.


    She has an rm on her phone to let her know our rendezvous point is looming, and a fully charged battery  I checked before she left. She has enough money to get a taxi within a hundred-mile radius, regardless of how many drinks Kelly Anne leeches out of her. And she has me. I¡¯ll be waiting.


    LAINE


    THIS CLUB STINKS. It¡¯s too loud to talk properly, not that I¡¯d be talking anyway. Kelly Anne is already far more interested in some drunk guys than she is in me. Standard.


    So much for besties.


    So much for Mason, master of the female orgasm, too, seemingly.


    I think about calling it off, making my excuses, and heading back home to Nick where I belong.


    Where I belong.


    It¡¯s so nice to belong somewhere.


    It¡¯s interesting that being out somewhere I hate makes it all the more obvious how amazing my life is right now. I mean, I knew it. I know it every minute of every day, but this, this¡­ fake pretense of having a good time¡­ I¡¯m done with this.


    This is thest crappy birthday party of Kelly Anne¡¯s I agree. Next year she¡¯ll have to find some of her fake friends to hang out with. I¡¯m done.


    She introduces me to some wasted guy called Tyler, and I smile politely. Tyler tells me he¡¯s got pills, and I tell him thanks but no thanks and keep a close eye on my drink in case one of those pills magically ends up in there.


    I keep an eye on Kelly Anne¡¯s drink, too, as hard as that is with her swinging it around all over the ce as she flirts and grinds and makes a real slut of herself.


    It¡¯s barely nine and I¡¯m already bored to tears.


    I¡¯m thinking of my warm bed and Nick¡¯s kisses when Kelly Anne snatches my phone from my handbag.


    ¡°Yeah¡­ for real! Creepy old dude bought her this!¡± She hands it to Tyler and his idiot friend, and Iugh into action that feels so alien to me. I try to grab it back, but Kelly Anne takes it from Tyler¡¯s hand before I can get to it. She holds it out of reach as she flicks through my phone gallery, and my privacy feels so personally invaded that I¡¯m not sure whether I should p her or cry or both. ¡°She¡¯s got a fucking curfew, too. Like


    Cindere. Talk about creepy.¡± Theyugh.


    Sheughs.


    And for the first time in my life, I hate Kelly Anne.


    I didn¡¯t even hate her when she left all my things with strangers and bailed on me, but right now,ughing about my life with Nick and treating me like a silly little joke, I hate her so much I want to storm out and never see her again.


    If only I felt okay about leaving her with these creeps.


    ¡°Give it back!¡± I shout over the music. ¡°It¡¯s not funny, Kelly Anne!¡±


    She keeps flicking, as though she¡¯s got every right to snoop, and it irritates me so much I feel sick to my stomach. I have nothing private on there, not really, but that isn¡¯t the point. It isn¡¯t the point.


    She rolls her eyes when she sees I¡¯m not ying, scrolling just a bit more to make a point before she hands it back.


    My heart races as I check it for damage. There isn¡¯t any and I breathe in relief.


    I check the time before I put it back to safety in my handbag, and it¡¯s only just gone eight o¡¯clock. Shit.


    The night is going to take forever.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    NICK


    I GUESS HEARING nothing could be considered a good thing. Maybe she¡¯s enjoying herself. Maybe Laine likes drum and bass. Maybe she likes dancing, too. I haven¡¯t yet had enough time to figure that out.


    Maybe she¡¯s having so much fun with Kelly Anne that she¡¯s barely giving me a second thought, and as much as it pains me not to be the center of her universe every waking minute, I¡¯d be happy for her.


    I want her to be happy. I want her to embrace life,ugh and lo, ve, and an e to do dandanceat makes her happy.


    I keep working on my spreadsheet. Just a few more hours to go.

 Chapter 68

    LAINE


    KELLY ANNE IS TOO DRUNK to listen to anything much I have to say, but when


    I tell her at eleven that I might make a move early she seems to hear that loud and clear.


    ¡°NOOO!¡± she wails and grips my wrist for dear life. ¡°I need you, bestie!¡±


    Like hell she does.


    She¡¯s grinding away on Tyler¡¯s friend Mickey, trying to smile so coyly like there¡¯s any chance she won¡¯t be fucking him this evening. Tyler is too close to me forfort, dancing so close with a stupid grin on his face. I dance away a little, trying to keep a bit of distance, but wherever I go he follows.


    ¡°I¡¯m serious!¡± I tell her. ¡°I¡¯m going soon, Kels! Nick will be waiting soon anyway!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so sick of hearing about fucking Nick!¡± she snaps.


    And I¡¯m so sick of her bullshit and our one-sided friendship, but I bite my tongue and keep dancing.


    It is her birthday, after all.


    NICK


    MY HEART IS in my throat as the bell tolls midnight. I¡¯m scouring the street, scanning the people walking from club to club for any sight of her beautiful blonde hair. I¡¯ve parked up in the right spot, so there¡¯s no confusion about where she should be headed, and I haven¡¯t had any news as to which exact club the girls have settled on, so I daren¡¯t leave my spot to head in her direction, just in case we cross paths and it leaves her in the cold.


    It¡¯s snowing, just a little. The December air was cold enough to numb my face. Just a few weeks from Christmas, and everyone is in high spirits, everyone except me.


    I check my phone again. Nothing. I dial her number and it goes straight through to voicemail.


    No big deal. A lot of the clubs don¡¯t have good phone reception, it could be nothing.


    When my mobile shows it¡¯s ten past the hour I know I¡¯m lying to myself.


    LAINE


    ¡°I¡¯M GOING NOW!¡± I tell her. I hold up my phone screen to show her the time. A quarter to midnight. Plenty of time to get back to the car.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    I can¡¯t wait.


    The night has taken forever.


    Kelly Anne is drunk now. She can barely stand up, gripping hold of my elbow as she presses her mouth to my ear. ¡°There¡¯s no point,¡± she tells me and her voice is slurry. The guysugh, in on some secret joke at my expense, I¡¯m sure.


    ¡°Whatever, Kels, let me take you home. I¡¯m sure Nick won¡¯t mind.¡±


    She shakes her head and there¡¯s that cackle she gives me when she¡¯s being a bitch. ¡°There¡¯s no point!¡± sheughs. ¡°He won¡¯t be there!¡± She clinks her ss against mine. Mine¡¯s the same one I bought when we stepped into the ce, and I have no intention of finishing it. I¡¯m about to tell her that of course he¡¯ll fucking be there, but she¡¯sughing so hard she wouldn¡¯t hear me. Someone walks over my grave, and I get this horrible sinking feeling, just like I did when I came out of the toilets and knew she was gone. ¡°I changed your clock!¡± sheughs. ¡°When I had your phone earlier! I changed the clock!¡± My blood runs cold.


    She squeezes my arm. ¡°He makes you so boring, Laine! Curfew this and curfew fucking that. He¡¯s too fucking old! You should be having fun!¡±


    I hate myself for being so stupid, holding up the handset to find it has no signal in this shitty ce.


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t¡­¡± I start, and I¡¯m shaking my head, not wanting to believe it, even though my gut knows it¡¯s true.


    She holds up her phone, and she¡¯s so proud. So fucking proud of her asshole move. 00:47


    Shit. Nearly an hourte.


    I wish the ground would swallow me up.


    ¡°Fuck you,¡± I say, and I can¡¯t believe the wordse out.


    Her eyes are wide even through her drunkenness. ¡°What?!¡±


    ¡°FUCK YOU!¡± I scream, and I don¡¯t care anymore. I push my way past her and head for the exit, pushing through the drunk idiots until I get to the cloakrooms, every step wobbly and desperate as my heart pounds and my handset tries fruitlessly to connect to the mobilework.


    A hand on my arm nearly pulls me over, and for a second I¡¯m back in the road as it rains, Daddy Nick¡¯s hand startling me from my panic.


    Only it¡¯s not Nick. It¡¯s Kelly Anne, and she has the fucking gall to look pissed at me. ¡°Don¡¯t fucking go!¡± she snaps.


    ¡°Leave me alone,¡± I tell her. ¡°Just leave me alone, Kels.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s my BIRTHDAY!¡± she screams. ¡°You¡¯re my BEST FUCKING


    FRIEND!¡±


    But I¡¯m not.


    She¡¯s no fucking friend of mine.


    ¡°I¡¯m not your friend,¡± I tell her. ¡°You just use me to prop yourself up when there¡¯s nobody cooler.¡±


    She looks like I¡¯ve pped her, and I¡¯ve got no time for this. I turn away from her but she won¡¯t let go. ¡°No, Laine! You use me to prop yourself up! None of my other friends want to hang with me because of you.¡± I don¡¯t want to hear it, but she won¡¯t let go of my wrist. ¡°You know what they say about you, right? They call you simple. They call you a boring bitch. Mary Vernon says you¡¯re so dull that you make her ears bleed. That¡¯s why I have no friends to hang out with, Laine! Because of you!¡± It hurts.


    It hurts like she intends it to.


    But not nearly so much as knowing I missed my curfew.


    ¡°Fuck you, Kelly Anne, I¡¯m done,¡± I tell her. I¡¯m calm and I mean it. I fucking mean it.


    I tug away from her and head for the street, and this time she doesn¡¯t follow me.


    ¡°HE DOESN¡¯T FUCKING LOVE YOU!¡± she screams. ¡°NOBODY DOES!¡±

 Chapter 69

    LAINE


    I¡¯ve NEVER RUN SO FAST in my life. My feet barely touch the floor as I pound the beachfront, my heart in my throat as I realize what I¡¯ve done. What she¡¯s done.


    I¡¯m out of breath as I see his car in the distance, but I still keep running, and then I see him, and he¡¯s running too.


    I m into his body and wrap my arms around his neck and I want to tell him how sorry I am but no words wille.


    ¡°What, Laine?! What is it? What¡¯s going on?¡± His hands are in my hair, on my cheeks, checking me all over, and his eyes are wide and petrified. I struggle for breath, and it pains me so much to see what I¡¯ve done.


    ¡°Nothing¡­¡± I wheeze. ¡°Not like that¡­ it was Kelly Anne! She changed my clock! I didn¡¯t know! I swear I didn¡¯t know!¡± His eyes are so hurt as he realizes. So hurt.


    It makes me feel like shit upon shit. I struggle not to cry, but I don¡¯t deserve to cry, not after being so stupid. I¡¯ve been so stupid.


    I am naive. Just a stupid fucking idiot. Just like Kelly Anne says.


    ¡°You gave her your phone?¡± he asks, and it¡¯s so angry and pointed that my tummy flips.


    ¡°No! She took it! I wouldn¡¯t! I didn¡¯t!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve been waiting here an hour, Laine. A whole fucking hour.¡± He¡¯s so hurt, his eyes so scared. ¡°I was out of my fucking mind, Laine! Petrified!


    Do you have any fucking idea what that¡¯s like? Do you have any fucking idea?¡±


    No. I don¡¯t.


    Because I¡¯ve never lost anybody. Not like he has.


    But I¡¯m beginning to get a sense of it. Because I¡¯m petrified of losing him right now. Petrified of losing everything.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I whisper, and my voice sounds pathetic and small. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Nick.¡±


    There¡¯s no Daddy this time, but he doesn¡¯t even notice. He¡¯s staring past me, into the distance, his jaw gritted and his eyes so sad. ¡°Get in the fucking car,¡± he says.


    NICK


    A TERRIBLE CONCOCTION of relief and anger. Hurt, too.


    Hurt that someone as loving and special as Laine could do something so stupid and reckless.


    My temples pound as I drive, my gut churning and twisted.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she says again, but it does nothing to calm my mood.


    I have nothing to say, not like this. Not while I¡¯m still wired and on the edge, chased by demons I¡¯ve tried so hard to ignore. Demons that know exactly how it feels to lose everything.


    I pull through the gates and park up, mming the car door as I head for the front door. Laine follows like a shadow, her fingers sped tight together and her eyes on the floor.


    I close the door behind us, and then I lock it, barricading us in as though she¡¯s still in danger.


    Only she wasn¡¯t in danger, only reckless. Trusting. Far too trusting.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she whispers. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Nick, I swear.¡±


    I pour her a juice, unsure of how much she¡¯s had to drink already, and dig out a bottle of whisky from my father¡¯s vintage stash and pour myself a healthy measure. She watches me, staring with big doe eyes.


    ¡°I can go,¡± she whispers. ¡°If you want¡­ I can go¡­¡±


    ¡°You aren¡¯t going fucking anywhere!¡± I snarl. ¡°Not fucking anywhere,


    Laine. You¡¯re fucking grounded! Forever, Laine, for-fucking-ever!¡± Grounded. It sounds so fucking stupid.


    She nods anyway. ¡°Okay.¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I snap. ¡°It¡¯s not okay, Laine! It¡¯s not okay!¡±


    I stare at the girl in front of me, only she¡¯s not a girl, not really. I can¡¯t keep her in a cage, can¡¯t protect her from everything, can¡¯t keep pretending she¡¯s an infant who needs me to dress her and wash her and wipe her dirty ass.


    It all falls away, this illusory game we¡¯re ying.


    She¡¯s not Jane.


    She¡¯s not Louisa, either.


    She¡¯s just her. A young woman who¡¯s never known love. Who¡¯s never known what it feels like to be cared for?


    And that¡¯s what she wants from me.


    She wants love. Not just kinky daddy y a new phone, or a daily call at lunchtime. She wants love. Actual love, as an actual young woman with someone who treats her right. ¡°Talk to me,¡± she whispers. ¡°Please.¡± I don¡¯t know where to start.


    She takes a step closer and her eyes are so eager for reassurance.


    ¡°Please talk to me.¡±


    ¡°I was scared,¡± I tell her. ¡°So scared I couldn¡¯t think straight.¡±


    She nods. ¡°I was scared too. Scared because I knew how scared you¡¯d be. Scared because I¡¯d hurt you so bad.¡± Her lip trembles. ¡°Scared because I thought I¡¯d lost everything, all for the sake of someone who never even gave a shit about me. Scared I¡¯d ruined the only good thing I¡¯ve ever had.¡± Her words pang. ¡°You haven¡¯t lost anything, Laine. I¡¯m still right here.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.


    I¡¯m just fucking angry.¡±


    She nods. ¡°Angry because of me. Scared because of me.¡±


    ¡°Scared because of that stupid selfish bitch Kelly Anne more specifically.¡±


    She shrugs. ¡°I should have stopped her. Should have checked.¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I agree. ¡°You should have.¡± ¡°It¡¯ll never happen again¡­¡± she says. ¡°No,¡± I tell her. ¡°It won¡¯t.¡±


    She sips at her juice, and she¡¯s thinking, her gaze darting around the room as she tussles with some course of action or another. ¡°You could punish me,¡± she says. ¡°Like your father did, with the belt. I deserve it,


    Daddy. I deserve everything.¡±


    I feel the beast stir, taking advantage of the adrenaline. It¡¯s so easy to want that. So easy to seek out control in the way I learned from my father and he learned from his. The belt is hanging on the hook behind the study door, in the same ce he used to keep it.


    The prospect of tanning Laine¡¯s pretty little backside and making her suffer for her recklessness is so fucking tempting.


    ¡°Never angry,¡± I tell her. ¡°My father never disciplined me in anger,


    Laine.¡±


    ¡°But your father never lost anyone,¡± she whispers. ¡°Not like you did.¡± That¡¯s true enough.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind,¡± she says. ¡°Daddy, I don¡¯t mind.¡±


    Her eyes are so adoring, so eager to make it all better. Maybe the belt would do that, forge a bond of respect that no silly little bitch like Kelly Anne will ever stand a chance of breaking.


    ¡°It¡¯ll hurt,¡± I tell her, and she nods.


    ¡°I know it will, Daddy.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t,¡± I say. ¡°You don¡¯t know at all.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t care,¡± she says.


    I down the rest of my whisky.


    ¡°Go through to the study,¡± I tell her.


    LAINE


    MY NERVES ARE ON FIRE, tummy churning so bad I feel like I could throw up, but I make my way along the hallway and open the door to the study without a single moment¡¯s hesitation.


    I want this. I want to please Nick and make him feel better. I want to make him feel safe. I want him to know I am a good girl.


    I want him to know that I am sorry.


    He isn¡¯t far behind, and my breath catches as he closes the door behind us. The belt swishes on the hook as it ms, and I wonder if I¡¯m ready for this.


    ¡°Over the desk,¡± he tells me. ¡°On your front.¡±


    I lower myself so carefully, pressing my cheek to the leather iy. It smells rich and woody, like old books and scotch.


    I imagine Nick here, in this very same position. I wonder if his heart used to race like mine is now.


    He lifts my dress and tugs down my leggings and my knickers without saying a word.


    The air feels cold. My skin feels prickly.


    My mouth feels so dry I can hardly swallow.


    ¡°Six,¡± he says. ¡°I¡¯m going to give you six. Not because I¡¯m angry, but because you deserve it.¡±


    ¡°Naughty girls need discipline,¡± I whisper.


    ¡°Discipline shows care, Laine.¡±


    ¡°I know,¡± I tell him. ¡°I know, Daddy Nick.¡±


    ¡°I love you, Laine,¡± he tells me and I¡¯m so sad for what I¡¯ve done that it hurts more than his belt ever could.


    ¡°I love you too, Daddy.¡±


    ¡°Six,¡± he repeats. ¡°And you¡¯ll learn your lesson.¡±


    I¡¯ve already learned it, but that doesn¡¯t matter. Nothing matters but us. Nothing matters but loving Nick and him loving me back. Nothing matters but making sure I never hurt him again.


    I gasp as the leather glides across my ass cheeks. ¡°This is going to hurt,¡± he says. He gives me a tap, and the leather feels so smooth against my bare skin.


    I wonder how many times it¡¯s been used for this.


    I hold my breath. Grip the edge of the desk so tightly.


    And then I wait.


    Silence.


    One long empty silence.


    ¡°I love you so much, sweetheart,¡± he whispers.


    And then he hits me.


    I squeal and jolt forward on the desk, and my breath catches.


    It sears. It fucking sears.


    Burns so bad I fidget from foot to foot.


    ¡°One,¡± he says.


    I don¡¯t want two, and I know it.


    I don¡¯t want two.


    I cry out when itnds, and it sounds so pathetic and desperate.


    The tearse so easily, filling my eyes and spilling over.


    ¡°Two,¡± he says, and my body jolts with these crazy sobs that make me feel like a baby. ¡°You understand why I¡¯m doing this?¡± he asks.


    I nod. I do understand.


    I asked for it. In every sense of the word.


    I squeal again when itnds for the third time.


    A baby, I¡¯m such a fucking baby.


    ¡°Three.¡±


    I lurch forward and wail like a banshee as four strikes, and my ass is on fire.


    ¡°Four.¡±


    I cry openly at the next, no longer caring how I look, or if I take my punishment well for him.


    I don¡¯t care about anything much apart from the burn.


    ¡°Five.¡±


    I close my eyes for six. And he waits.


    He waits until my sobs ease, and my body stops shaking.


    He waits until I twist my head to look at him and blink through the tears.


    ¡°Have you learned your lesson, Laine?¡± he asks and I nod. ¡°Yes, Daddy.¡± He drops the belt.


    No six.


    It makes the tearse all the harder.


    And this time he¡¯s there. Pulling me up and holding me and smoothing my hair as I cry.


    I have no right to cry, but Daddy Nick doesn¡¯t seem to care about that.


    Daddy Nick is so warm and kind.


    So loving, even when I¡¯ve caused him so much pain.


    ¡°I told you it would hurt,¡± he says, and I nod against his chest, my wet eyes soaking through the fabric of his shirt.


    I hope I don¡¯t snot on him, but I doubt he¡¯d care so much anyway.


    He puts his hands on my cheeks and tips my face to his and his eyes aren¡¯t angry anymore, just scared.


    ¡°I¡¯ll never use the belt on you again,¡± he says. ¡°You¡¯re not a little girl,


    Laine. We just like to pretend you are.¡±


    A strange sob from my throat, and I¡¯m nodding. I¡¯m nodding.


    And I¡¯m happy, and sad, and relieved, and scared, and everything in between.


    ¡°Thank you, Nick,¡± I say.

 Chapter 70

    NICK


    LAINE NEEDED to be cared for, just as I needed to care for her. Both need that special someone to slot so nicely into their broken parts.


    It was beautiful.


    It still is beautiful.


    But this game can¡¯t be all we are, not anymore.


    I pour her a whisky as I pour myself one. ¡°It¡¯ll help calm you down,¡± I say.


    She manages a smile.


    I take a seat at the table opposite and we sit in silence no longer simmering with conflict.


    We¡¯re past that now.


    My demons have backed away into their shadowy pit, and the girl in front of me no longer looks like her soul is breaking.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Tell me about Kelly Anne,¡± I say. ¡°Not just about what a cow she is, but about why you ever liked her in the first ce.¡±


    ¡°You want to know?¡±


    I nod. ¡°I want to know. It was part of you, Laine. I want to understand why. Maybe that way we can stop it ever happening again.¡± ¡°It won¡¯t happen again anyway. I¡¯m done with her.¡± I believe her. Her eyes are full of the pain of betrayal.


    I know it¡¯s a tough pill to swallow.


    She takes a moment, spinning the empty tumbler on the table as she clears her head.


    I understand that well enough because I¡¯m still clearing mine too.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t have anyone,¡± she says. ¡°I was shy when I started school. I¡¯d never done nursery or been around other kids before. It was always just me and Mum, and I was scared all the time, worried that she wasn¡¯ting back.¡± She smiles sadly. ¡°Mainly because she didn¡¯te back sometimes. Men, or work, or whatever. She¡¯d leave me with the neighbor. An old woman who smelled of cheese.¡±


    ¡°Cheese?¡±


    ¡°Green cheese.¡± She wrinkles her nose. ¡°She was nice enough but she stunk.¡±


    ¡°And Kelly Anne was there?¡±


    She nods. ¡°Kelly Anne was a bossy boot. I felt so safe with her because she wasn¡¯t scared of anything.¡±


    ¡°And she was nice to you?¡±


    She shrugs. ¡°Most of the time. I¡¯d follow her around even when she was bored of me. She¡¯d y with other kids, and I¡¯d just watch. Waiting until they argued, because she¡¯d argue with people a lot, and make sure I was there to pick up the pieces. I made sure I was useful, just so she¡¯d keep me around.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not friendship, Laine. Not really.¡±


    ¡°I know that now,¡± she says. ¡°But I never wanted to see it that way before. I never wanted to look at it. It¡¯s impossible to carry on doing what you¡¯ve always done if you realize it¡¯s full of bullshit and lies.¡±


    ¡°I get that,¡± I say. ¡°You wanted it to be real.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± she says. ¡°I guess I did.¡± She spins the ss. ¡°Kelly Anne was always so selfish. She was only really interested in what she wanted. Where she wanted to go or what she wanted to y or who she wanted to fuck. I was just an essory, like a handbag. She¡¯d tell me stories and make them sound so amazing. I guess she felt so cool knowing I was so not.¡±


    ¡°Cool means shit, sweetheart.¡±


    ¡°I think I know that now, too.¡± She smiles a sad smile at me. ¡°The more cooler she seemed, the older she seemed. The more childish I felt, the safer I felt. Same with Mum. Only Mum really couldn¡¯t take care of herself, not around work and all her men¡¯s trouble. So I had to be a mum to Mum. A mum to her and a silly little sad friend to Kelly Anne, and somewhere it all got messed up.¡±


    ¡°Life can get all messed up, Laine. But we can straighten it out again.¡±


    A tear rolls down her cheek. ¡°I hope so. Because I¡¯m happier than I¡¯ve ever been. I didn¡¯t know what it would feel like to have someone who loved me. I didn¡¯t know how safe I¡¯d feel with someone who could take care of me.¡±


    ¡°I feel safe too,¡± I admit. ¡°I feel safe when I believe I have control over a situation. Over you. But I don¡¯t. I don¡¯t have control over you, Laine, and that¡¯s alright. I shouldn¡¯t ever have control over who you are, or what you want to do. I can support you, I can care for you, but not control you.¡± She doesn¡¯t look convinced, but I am.


    Love has to be free. Alive like a butterfly, not pinned to a mount like the specimens I¡¯ve been keeping for so long.


    Jane¡¯s room was the perfect bell jar. It served so perfectly, just waiting for me to fill it with another little girl to rece the one I lost.


    A second chance at the same dream.


    Only no two dreams can ever be the same.


    ¡°I love you,¡± she says. ¡°I love you. Not because of what you do for me, but because you¡¯re honest and caring and see everything I want to see in myself.¡±


    ¡°I love you too, Laine. Not because you¡¯re my little girl, or because we share some weird kink that nobody else understands. I love you because you have a beautiful soul.¡±


    She smiles so brightly. ¡°I don¡¯t need Kelly Anne anymore.¡±


    I reach for her hand across the table and squeeze. ¡°Jane¡¯s gone,¡± I tell her. ¡°Louisa, too. And I¡¯m ready to let them rest now, Laine. We¡¯re different.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re us,¡± she says. ¡°I want to be us.¡±


    ¡°So do I, sweetheart.¡±


    Her fingers look so small in mine. ¡°So, what now?¡±


    ¡°We go to bed,¡± I tell her. ¡°Tomorrow is a new day.¡± She nods. ¡°I¡¯d like that very much.¡±


    LAINE


    I FEEL like I¡¯ve cried for a lifetime as I wash my face in the bathroom. My cheeks are puffy and my eyes are tired.


    But I feel good. Like I¡¯ve dumped a horrible weight.


    I guess Kelly Anne¡¯s been nothing but a drain on me for longer than I can remember.


    I wonder how different life would have been if I¡¯d stopped clinging to her all those years ago. I wonder if I¡¯d have made other friends, and lived another life.


    I wonder if I¡¯d have grown up.


    I feel like I¡¯m growing up now.


    And that¡¯s weird. It seems so silly that being cared for as a child was what turned me into a woman.


    I smile to myself and Nick smiles back.


    ¡°What a day,¡± he says.


    ¡°I¡¯m pooped,¡± I tell him, and he nods.


    ¡°Me too.¡±


    I hold his hand as he steps onto thending, waiting for him to open Jane¡¯s door like he always does. But not today.


    He steps past, and my heart pounds as he opens a different door. The one to his room.


    I¡¯ve barely ever been in there.


    He flicks on the bedside light and pulls back the covers for me.


    ¡°This is my bed,¡± he tells me like it needs exining. ¡°I¡¯ll clear out some wardrobe space for you in the morning.¡±


    I nod. ¡°Thanks.¡±


    It feels so weird to slip into his grown-up sheets. They¡¯re grey. So stylish and grown up.


    And soft.


    They¡¯re soft, too.


    He pulls me close and kisses my hair, and I know he¡¯ll never be Daddy Nick in this ce. It just doesn¡¯t fit.


    And that feels okay.


    It feels just fine.


    ¡°Goodnight, Laine,¡± he says and the words roll off my tongue so easily.


    ¡°Goodnight, Nick.¡±


    He squeezes me a little bit tighter, and I know we¡¯re going to be just fine.

 Chapter 71

    LAINE


    It¡¯s strange to wake up in such a big bed, but there¡¯s so much more room for stretching out. I kick out my legs and enjoy the space, and Nick is right beside me with a quiet smile on his face.


    ¡°Morning, sleepyhead.¡± ¡°Morning, Nick.¡± Nick.


    It¡¯s going to take some getting used to. How funny, how things change. We¡¯ve been on a rollercoaster, him and I. It climbed so high so fast, and then it tumbled, so scary as the train sped over the drop. But we¡¯re still on the rails, and somehow I think we¡¯ll be climbing even higher this time.


    It¡¯ste, I can tell by the light at the window. I take in the surroundings, and it¡¯s nice in here, in his space. I like it.


    I look at the bedside cab on my side and wonder what I¡¯ll fill it with. I wonder which wardrobe I¡¯ll hang my clothes in, and if it would be appropriate to bring Mr Ted in here too.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Are you hungry?¡± he asks.


    I shake my head, and I¡¯m not today. I¡¯m not.


    I stroke his face, my thumb brushing over his shadowy stubble, and I want him so much it makes my toes curl.


    ¡°I know that expression,¡± he tells me and kisses my fingers.


    And I know his.


    I¡¯ming to know everything. Every one of his smiles.


    And his frowns. I¡¯ve seen a few of those now too.


    He kisses me and his lips are soft and warm. His tongue is gentle today, tasting me so slowly. I breathe into him and tangle my fingers in his hair, my legs reaching for his, my knee hooking under and guiding him close.


    It feels so natural, the way he moves, positioning himself above me with his weight on his elbows. I hook my ankles around his calves, and my body knows how this works now. It knows how to tip my hips just right and how to shift myself underneath him.


    He¡¯s so hard, rubbing himself just right, the length of him pressed just where I need him.


    But I don¡¯t want it like this today. I want it to be different. New.


    I smile as I push my hand to his chest, loving the way his eyes show such surprise as I wriggle out from under him and urge him to move.


    Nick looks so different on his back, his cock so proud as I work it in my fingers.


    I suck him, and he groans. He raises his arms and rests them behind his head, and his legs part so willingly.


    He¡¯s mine.


    And today this is my show, my way.


    It feels amazing to be in control.


    Kelly Anne was wrong about sex, just like she was wrong about so many things I took her word on.


    To be sexy doesn¡¯t mean you have to wear a short skirt and bright red lipstick. It doesn¡¯t mean you have to do a striptease or put on some epic performance.


    It just means being confident. Being yourself.


    Being sexy means being me.


    And today I want to be me. I¡¯m good enough for Nick to love me, and that makes me good enough for me too.


    I¡¯ve never been on top before. It feels so alien to straddle him, but I like it.


    I y with my clit and he watches without moving. His eyes are dark, but not fierce, even though he lets out the same low groan as I position his cock and lower myself onto him.


    I move just as I want to, my hips circling and my little tits bouncing just as much as they can bounce, and the pressure inside builds so easily this way.


    It feels amazing.


    Everything feels amazing.


    ¡°Beautiful,¡± he says, and I feel it. I do feel beautiful, so exposed and on disy.


    I lean forward and kiss him, and the angle is just right. It must be right for him too, because his breath is fast and ragged, and his hips thrust right back at me.


    ¡°Fuck,¡± he groans. ¡°Fuck, Laine, that feels incredible.¡±


    I know it does. It feels perfect. Perfect enough that my movements are frantic and my thighs are tense.


    I¡¯m going toe, and I know that, but it¡¯s different. This feels different.


    Bigger and deeper and¡­ And fuck.


    Fuck.


    Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.


    I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ve said it aloud and I don¡¯t care. My senses are fried, my nerves sparking like crazy, and my whole fucking body shudders.


    And then hees too.


    And I feel it. I feel it so well in this position.


    I did it.


    I did it all and I¡¯m so proud.


    He pulls me into his arms and holds me tight, and I giggle. I can¡¯t stop giggling.


    He holds me until I¡¯m quiet, and then he brushes the hair from my forehead and stares at me with eyes that let me know he enjoyed it as much as I did.


    ¡°You must be hungry now,¡± he says.


    NICK


    I REFUSE to express an opinion until Laine has whittled her dress choice down to three. I want it to be her decision, exactly the dress she wants.


    She¡¯s surprised me, but that in itself isn¡¯t surprising. She¡¯s always surprising me.


    Her three choices are so grown up. Tasteful gowns in dark colors, rich navy, or mulled wine.


    I can hardly contain myself as she slips into the dressing room to try them on, and when she steps out in the blue dress I lose the power of speech.


    She does take my breath away.


    ¡°I like it,¡± she tells me. ¡°I like it a lot.¡± She smiles. ¡°I think I love it.¡±


    She does a twirl and the fabric swishes. It¡¯s highlighted with diamante, tiny little stones that look like stars in a night sky.


    ¡°I think I love it, too,¡± I tell her. ¡°Very much.¡± I sigh. ¡°You look gorgeous, Laine.¡±


    ¡°This is the dress,¡± she says. ¡°I just know it.¡±


    She turns around for my help with the zip, and it¡¯s so nice to brush my fingers down her spine.


    ¡°Then we¡¯d better go pay for it,¡± I say.


    I¡¯VE NEVER BEEN SO proud as I am to have my beautiful Laine on my arm at the Christmas party.


    Her eyes are still bright and shining with innocent wonder, but my little girl isn¡¯t a little girl, not with her makeup on.


    She¡¯s most certainly a young woman this evening.


    Michael French hands her a ss of champagne and nudges me to convey his approval.


    ¡°I¡¯ve heard so much,¡± he tells her. ¡°All good, of course.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so pleased to meet you,¡± she says, and she means it, I can tell.


    ¡°This is my wife, Barbara, and my daughter Caroline.¡± I smile as warmly as she does, and it thrills me as Caroline strikes up a conversation.


    Maybe they really could be friends.


    I¡¯d like my sweet Laine to have nice friends.


    ¡°THEY¡¯RE SO NICE!¡± she gushes andnds a kiss on my cheek. ¡°Caroline said she¡¯s here for weeks until she¡¯s back at uni, suggested we go to theirs for their Boxing Day party.¡±


    ¡°Would you like that?¡±


    She nods. ¡°I¡¯d love that. I love meeting your friends, Nick.¡±


    I¡¯m certain they love meeting her, too. Penny Mike, and Trevor from IT. So many people I¡¯ve seen every day and given no thought to whatsoever.


    That¡¯s all going to change.


    I¡¯m going to change. Hell, we¡¯ve changed so much already, Laine and I.


    I think there¡¯ll be plenty of new developments thising year, not least the little bump Laine seems eager to have in her belly.


    We¡¯ve talked about it properly, just like we should have done before I unloaded my cum into her pussy at every opportunity.


    She¡¯s young, but not that young, and I¡¯m certainly not getting any younger myself.


    I still want to be able to do everything good fathers do.


    I want to trek through the countryside with our butterflys and be there for them until they¡¯re plenty old enough to take care of themselves. I have time, but it¡¯s ticking.


    THE NECKLACE IS A SLY little test. I present it in its sweet little box and watch her expression as I open it.


    The disappointment is only fleeting, but it¡¯s there.


    A ne, not a ring.


    But it¡¯s beautiful, and the thinks so too.


    ¡°Oh, Nick¡­ Oh my God¡­¡±


    ¡°A diamond for my sweetheart,¡± I tell her, and step behind her to fasten it around her neck. ¡°I can¡¯t take the credit,¡± I admit. ¡°Penny chose it. You¡¯ll have to thank her for her excellent taste.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m thanking you,¡± she says. ¡°I¡¯ll show you how much I love itter.¡± And then she heads off to find Penny.


    Her newfound confidence amazes me.


    Everything about her amazes me.


    Somehow I think Barbara French really will need to be buying a hat for our big day.


    And soon.


    Very soon.


    I can¡¯t wait until my sweet little Laine Seabourne is sweet little Laine Lynch.

 Chapter 72

    EPILOGUE


    LAINE


    HE TELLS me my old house is finished. Good as new he says.


    I kick off my heels and thank him, but it feels so far away from that ce.


    I guess it will be nice for Mum should she evere back.


    Maybe she¡¯ll be back for Christmas. Maybe I¡¯ll get a text.


    Maybe she¡¯ll evene to dinner with Nick and me. Maybe I don¡¯t care that much anymore.


    I¡¯m EXCITED about my own life now.


    I¡¯m excited about finishing up my college course, even though Nick tells me he earns enough for both of us. For all of us. For the children we n to have and the life we want to lead. Enough for everything.


    At least child studies put me in an alright position to have babies of my own.


    I want so many of Nick¡¯s babies.


    HE SAYS he¡¯s going to redecorate Jane¡¯s room. A new room for new little people when theye along.


    He¡¯s already started boxing up her things.


    He¡¯s moved her DaDDy drawing to the corkboard in the pantry. I trace my fingers around the letters sometimes and wonder what it will be like to have a little girl of my own someday.


    Nick threw the belt from the study into the fire and said he didn¡¯t need that anymore either.


    He says that discipline doesn¡¯t need to be cruel to be kind, and some rules are made to be broken. That¡¯s life he says.


    The thought of his hand on my ass still gives me tickles, and I think that maybe I¡¯ll have to be a naughty girl sometime, just to go over his knee again.


    I am dirty these days, and that¡¯s ok too.


    I¡¯ve BEEN TRYING to find a way to tell him. Trying to find a way to show him what I want without it feeling icky.


    I mean how icky can it be to y a little when you¡¯ve got someone¡¯s engagement ring on your finger? It doesn¡¯t get much more grown-up than that.


    I¡¯ve only got a bit of time left before Jane¡¯s pink room is all gone. Her bed is still there and her pink curtains too, but they won¡¯t stay. Not forever.


    My pink robe still hangs on the back of the door, even if her fairy castle has been put away in the garage. I have a new robe now, and it¡¯s purple, not pink.


    I even havecy underwear these days too. If I could forgive Kelly Anne enough to speak with her, I¡¯m sure she¡¯dugh.


    I HELP Nick chop up the vegetables for dinner, and my engagement ring sparkles in the light. I stop to stare and he grabs me from behind andnds hot kisses on the back of my neck until I squeal.


    ¡°Less of the magpie act, more chopping please, sweetheart,¡± he says.


    ¡°I¡¯m looking forward to an early night.¡± I am, too.


    I¡¯ve been craving an early night all week.


    It¡¯s the right time, my ovtion app tells me so.


    I hope tonight¡¯s the night his cum gives me a baby of our own.


    HE LEADS me upstairs when we¡¯re done eating, and I still follow so close to him, ever his little shadow.


    His fingers squeeze mine as he heads for our bedroom, but I stop, my heels digging into the carpet.


    He turns back and stares at me, his eyes dark in the way I love so much.


    ¡°What is it?¡± he says.


    I smile so shyly, and my cheeks burn. My clit is so tickly as I think about my guilty little pleasure.


    I¡¯ve been thinking about it a lottely.


    ¡°I just¡­ I was thinking¡­¡±


    ¡°Spit it out, sweetheart,¡± he says. ¡°No secrets, remember?¡± I nod, then nce at Jane¡¯s door, and he knows. He just knows.


    He¡¯s smiling as he steps closer, and I¡¯m smiling too as he hitches up the hem of my dress.


    ¡°I see,¡± he says, and he does see.


    His eyes burn as he stares at my in cotton knickers, white, just as he liked so much.


    ¡°Have you been a naughty girl, Laine? Thinking dirty thoughts about


    Jane¡¯s sweet pink bed?¡±


    My breath hitches. My clit tickles.This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    ¡°Maybe¡­¡± I say.


    ¡°Maybe?¡±


    I smile. ¡°Maybe a little¡­¡±


    I worry that maybe he¡¯s done with this, maybe it will be too weird for him with us trying for a baby and all, and I suddenly feel an idiot for pulling a stunt like this without asking, and maybe I should¡¯ve-


    His lips stop my mind whirring, and his tongue is so fierce just like it used to be.


    He squeezes my nipples, pinching them just enough to make me gasp, and he¡¯s groaning, hard against my belly his thigh presses between mine and rubs.


    ¡°We don¡¯t have to¡­¡± I begin, just to be sure. ¡°I mean, if it¡¯s weird,


    Nick, we don¡¯t have to¡­ I just thought¡­ for fun¡­¡±


    His eyes are darker than I¡¯ve seen them in weeks. His smirk was dirty enough to make my tummy tickle.


    ¡°Call me Daddy,¡± he says and opens the door.


    THE END

 Chapter 73

    Wee back to another Story which will leave you thrilled. I hope the journey has been amazing this far¡­


    Title: My Next door Neighbor


    Prologue


    ROSIE


    It was five months ago that our block got a new resident upstairs in apartment number six. The new resident might have been beautiful, without the heaviness of the world on his shoulders.


    He was tall, with dark hair stranded with silver, and a sculpted brow over bright green eyes. Well-dressed but unkempt, in tailored suits slightly too big for his lean frame. He looked gaunt like he¡¯d seen happier days. Much, much happier days¡­


    A man like him shouldn¡¯t be here in block four of Crenham Drive, with its faded green carpet hallways. He was out of ce amongst the stale smell and the peeling paintwork.


    No. The man in apartment six didn¡¯t belong here, but he¡¯d arrived with a barrage of whispers. Disgusting, seedy, nasty. Fucked up. Perverted. Arrogant, reclusive. Sinister.


    They said he was a disgraced teacher, who¡¯d preyed on his students. A sick man, who deserved prison. Someone on the run.


    They said a lot of things.


    Other residents would scowl at me with hissed voices, always the same morbid tune.


    Rosie, don¡¯t you ever, ever talk to the man upstairs.


    You¡¯d better stay the fuck away from the man upstairs, he¡¯s trouble, Rosie.


    So I, sweet little Rosie, heeded their advice. I¡¯d shiver whenever I caught sight of him, eyes dropping whenever he passed by me in the hall. I did what I was told and I never, ever talked to the man upstairs.


    Not until one night, in total desperation, when I had nowhere else to turn¡­


    ***


    ROSIE


    Mum¡¯s scream was so loud, I heard it over my earphones, my audiobook drowned out by her terror. Fuck, how I ran.


    Dinner tes were crashing from the draining board as I raced into the kitchen, smashing into jagged chunks over the floor. There was Scottie, mming Mum into the oven as sheshed out and battled against him. She screamed obscenities in his face until the vicious, stumpy weasel mped his hands around her throat.


    ¡°You¡¯d better shut the fuck up now, Bev, you stupid, fucking bitch!¡±


    I screamed before I charged, set to wrestle him to free my mum, but he elbowed me away like I was a scrawny wisp, knowing I wasn¡¯t strong enough to stop him.


    ¡°FUCK OFF, ROSIE! KEEP OUT OF IT!¡±


    Mum was choking, her eyes wide as she struggled, and I didn¡¯t know what to do. Then he pped her and shook her and pped her some more before he was at it again, hands back crushing her windpipe. I was shaking too badly to try to put a knife into him, so I bolted out of the apartment and down the corridor to hammer at Martha¡¯s door.


    ¡°MARTHA, IT¡¯S ROSIE! HELP! HELP! IT¡¯S SCOTTIE! HE¡¯S GOT MUM!¡±


    I could hear the roar of the TV from her living room as I hammered. Thank fuck she was in there.


    ¡°MARTHA, PLEASE! OPEN THE DOOR!!¡±


    The TV went quiet, and I could hear Rolo barking. I heard her approach the other side, but she didn¡¯t open up for me.


    ¡°Call the police!¡± she shouted, but I didn¡¯t have time.


    I mmed my fists against the wood.


    ¡°MARTHA, PLEASE! HE¡¯S CHOKING HER!¡± ¡°CALL THE FUCKING POLICE!¡± she screamed back.


    Fuck it, she wasn¡¯t going to open the door.


    I ran to the end of the corridor, but Trisha ignored my screams, even though I could hear Ramsay crying in her hallway.


    I ran down to the floor below, but I knew nobody there would help me. Everyone hated Scottie Barnes, and they didn¡¯t like my mother much, either. I was alone and petrified, and there was no way the police would show up in time.


    So, fuck it.


    I grabbed hold of the handrail and ran upstairs.


    Gerald and Eveline in number eight were in their 80s, and Bertie in number seven was on crutches from a fall, so there was only one option left, and I took it. I raced to the end of the upstairs corridor and I hammered on number six¡¯s door.


    ¡°PLEASE! WILL YOU HELP ME! PLEASE! I NEED HELP!!¡±


    I prayed, still hammering, trying to scream out through my sobs, because I was sure Scottie was so fucked up tonight that he was going to kill my mum.


    ¡°PLEASE! I NEED HELP!¡±


    I could barely see through the tears when the door of apartment six opened, and there he was. The tall, sinister man upstairs. He was in one of his suits, his striped navy tie hanging limp as he towered high. His eyebrows were pitted for a moment as he looked down at me through hard green eyes. I pushed my sses up my nose to meet his stare and managed to suck in enough breath that he could hear my words.


    ¡°Scottie has got my mum in the kitchen, and he¡¯s choking her. PLEASE, please,e and help me. Please, save my mum!¡±


    I was so relieved when he stepped out and raced ahead of me. He took the stairs three at a time, on a mission as he ran, already storming through our open front door by the time I got back to our floor. I¡¯d only just made it to our hallway when Scottie came sailing across into the living room, ttering over the coffee table. It busted underneath him as he hit the deck, and I hoped his rotten legs were broken too, but unfortunately not. He hitched up on his elbows, unscathed.


    The man from apartment six stepped up to him, and he looked so tall in there, showing up Scottie for the pathetic little shit he was. Mum¡¯s asshole of a boyfriend looked up at his assant, but he didn¡¯t move, didn¡¯t protest, didn¡¯t try to fight his way out of it. Pathetic wimp.


    I found Mum sobbing on the floor in the kitchen. Her lip was red and bloody, and her cheek was already swelling, but at least she wasn¡¯t fucking strangled. Not this time.


    ¡°Stay there!¡± I told her, like she had anywhere else to go.


    My slippers crunched on broken tes on my way back through to the living room. The man upstairs was still standing there, staring out at the idiot on the floor.


    ¡°GET OUT!¡± I yelled at Scottie. ¡°Seriously, Scott, get the FUCK OUT OF HERE! RIGHT FUCKING NOW!¡±T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    The vile prick dragged himself up from the floor and slid away against the wall with a sneer, daring to look at me like I was the piece of shit and not him.


    ¡°Bev fucking started it!¡±


    He brushed himself down and loped off with a self-righteous swagger, as though he was the one in the right for throwing the damn punches. It still hurt me when he did that, every single time.

 Chapter 74

    I pressed my back to the front door when I mmed it closed, eyes shut tight as I tried toe down from hyperdrive. I must have been as pale as a ghost as I gathered myself, choking back a fresh round of sobs. My ears were ringing, and I could feel my pulse in my temples, but it would be ok¡­ Mum would be ok now¡­ she¡¯d be ok.


    The man upstairs was in the kitchen when I opened my eyes. He was helping Mum to her feet, supporting her as she winced in pain with her hand on her side. Shit, it looked like Scottie had punched her in the ribs, too. No surprise, since it was his usual go-to spot. Nobody could see the bruising.


    Together we eased her onto the sofa as she gritted her teeth. I was sitting right beside her when I saw him reach into his suit jacket and pull his phone out. I watched him key in the emergency services number, but I choked out a wait before he hit call.


    He looked at me, his piercing green eyes so hooded with rage that I felt the burn.


    ¡°There¡¯s no point,¡± I told him, hating my words. ¡°She won¡¯t talk to them, and they won¡¯t arrest him, and he won¡¯t get convicted for it. He never does.¡±


    I realized then that I¡¯d never heard the man upstairs speak before. He sounded like an Etonian graduate when he did.


    ¡°The police won¡¯t arrest him? Are you being serious? Of course, they will.¡±


    I shook my head. ¡°Mum won¡¯t talk to them. She always denies it. Always. They¡¯ll barely even look at her when they get here, they¡¯ve seen it so many times.¡±


    I sighed. At least we¡¯d got almost six months clear by now. I¡¯d even dared to hope¡­


    Mum was looking at the floor, not at me, and not at him, either. He crouched down beside her, staring until she met his eyes.


    ¡°Is this true? Will you ignore the police if I call them?¡±


    Her shrug said it all. Her voice sounded blubbery through her thick lips.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Scottie is Scottie. He gets like this sometimes. It¡¯s just how he is.¡±


    The man upstairs raised his eyebrows, and his shocked expression confirmed my suspicions. He didn¡¯t belong here in this block, in this ce, in this crappy life.


    ¡°That¡¯s absurd,¡± he told her. ¡°That vile piece of shit needs arresting and charging. I¡¯m going to get the police over here. I¡¯m sorry, but he needs to be held ountable.¡±


    Mum grabbed his wrist as he made to dial the number again.


    ¡°Please don¡¯t do that.¡±


    I wasn¡¯t sure whether to shout or cry at her, so I did neither. I looked over at him instead.


    ¡°She won¡¯t listen. She never does.¡± My voice burst into stupid racking sobs. ¡°She never listens to me.¡±


    It must have been like witnessing a car crash. The poor guy should have been watching Mastermind upstairs, or reading a ssic highbrow novel, enjoying a quiet Thursday evening, but here he was, crouched in our shitty living room next to a smashed-up coffee table and two fucked up women.


    ¡°I still think I should call them,¡± he said, but I shook my head again. ¡°It won¡¯t make any difference. She¡¯ll just lie to them and tell them she fell.¡± Mum found her fake brave face and smiled at him.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be ok now, thanks. It¡¯s over. Me and Scottie are over. I won¡¯t be going back to him in a million years. No chance. We¡¯re done.¡±


    She always fucking said that.


    He looked almost as unconvinced as I was, but he got to his feet. What else could he do?


    ¡°Thanks,¡± Mum said to him. ¡°For helping me. Scott¡¯s a jackass.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s more than a jackass,¡± the man upstairs said. ¡°He¡¯s a violent, abusive, cunt.¡±


    My breath hitched at the sound of the C word spoken in such a posh tone. I was staring as he put his phone back in his pocket, his eyes still angry.


    ¡°Do you need the hospital?¡± he asked Mum. ¡°It¡¯s Beverly, yes?¡±


    She nodded, giving him a lip-swollen grin. ¡°Bev, yes. And no, thanks. I¡¯ll be alright. It¡¯s only a couple of bruises. No big deal.¡± I despised the way she always made it sound so normal.


    His green eyes burned into mine.


    ¡°And you¡¯re Rosie?¡±


    I wondered how he knew my name since nobody ever spoke to him.


    I straightened my sses back up and took a breath.


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m Rosie.¡±


    ¡°Julian,¡± he said.


    Julian.


    I got up from the sofa, so grateful for his help that I wrapped my arms around his waist to hug him. ¡°Thank you so much for helping us.¡±


    He stiffened up at that, ufortable, giving my shoulder a token pat as I squeezed him tight. He backed away as soon as he could, straightening his tie. His emotions retreated, eyes turning duller as the adrenaline in the room came back to earth.


    ¡°Do you need some help cleaning up in here?¡± he asked me, surveying the damage, but I shook my head. I didn¡¯t want to make him ufortable.


    ¡°No, thanks. We¡¯ll be ok now.¡±


    He gave the slightest nod.


    ¡°Please do call the police if he shows up again.¡±


    ¡°I will,¡± I lied. ¡°I¡¯ll call them.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be upstairs,¡± he told us. ¡°I¡¯m happy to be called as a witness.¡±


    The genuine expression on his face made my heart sink at its contrast in my life. This ce was always so two-faced and dismissive. Nobody usually gave a shit.


    I followed him to the front door, embarrassed at how I¡¯d hugged him. I waved him off like he was just a passer-by, not someone who had just saved my mother¡¯s life.


    ¡°Bye,¡± I said.


    It sounded so pathetic, but he smiled as he held up his hand.


    ¡°Please, try to persuade her to call the police.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll try,¡± I said.


    I watched him reach the staircase before I locked us in tight, making sure I put the bolt across. Mum was sitting up straight when I joined her, daring to touch her ribs to check out the damage. No broken ones, it seemed. Lucky for her.


    Weirdly, she was grinning. She looked bizarrely happy for a woman in the aftermath of an attack, with a split lip and swollen jaw. ¡°He¡¯s nice,¡± she said. ¡°The man upstairs.¡±


    I nodded. ¡°Yeah, he was great. I¡¯m so d he helped us.¡±


    ¡°He saved me,¡± she said, looking over at the doorway. ¡°Did you hear his ent? He¡¯s definitely from somewhere posh.¡±


    Yes, I¡¯d heard his ent. The memory gave me goosebumps. Nice ones.


    ¡°What a great guy,¡± she said again.


    I knew her voice when she was like this. Loved up, like whenever she made up with Scottie, gushing after he¡¯d bought her a cheap bunch of apology flowers from the corner shop. I got a tumble of sparks in my stomach. A barrage of sensations all at once. Relief, mixed with hatred of Scottie, bound up with gratitude for the man upstairs. And something else¡­ a feeling that floated like Mum¡¯s voice did, right down deep.


    ¡°Julian,¡± she said like he was a savior.


    And he was a savior. He¡¯d opened his door to me as I screamed.


    Mum stared wistfully over at the door.


    ¡°I like Julian, you know,¡± she told me, and I nodded.


    Yeah. I liked him, too.

 Chapter 75

    JULIAN


    My heart was still pounding as I paced around my living room, trying toprehend the events in apartment three. It had been a long time since I¡¯d felt like a hero and a much longer time since I¡¯d been in a physical altercation with a criminal.


    It had only happened once before when some reprobate tried to steal my wallet on a family holiday to Barbados. My kids had watched me battle with the thief, and I¡¯d won. I¡¯d held the wallet over my head like I was Apollo, and we¡¯d had a celebratory round of ice cream sundaes by the pool.


    Such a shame I didn¡¯t have anyone left to share my glory with. I¡¯d have loved to tell my brother, Michael, how I¡¯d thrown a violent prick across someone¡¯s living room, but I would be thest person he¡¯d want to be celebrating with. I doubt he¡¯d even believe my words. Not now I was dead to him.


    I should have called the police and reported the criminal I¡¯d osted, but the sad look in poor Rosie¡¯s eyes had spoken volumes. Her mother wouldn¡¯t be telling them the truth. There would be no repercussions for Scottie, and his getting like that sometimes.


    Even now, I feel my morals throwing punches, despite being such a huge self-hater that I wanted to rot in hell.


    I kept on pacing but slowed down as the adrenaline burst died off, slow and steady as reality kicked back in. My hero dash downstairs had been a wee interlude in the events I¡¯d perceived unfolding tonight, but that was all. A few minutes of saving grace before I paid my final dues.


    The snakes of self-loathing were still hissing in the shadows, ready to close in and take me. I was hoping I¡¯d finally sumb to them, after several failed attempts on my suicide resume. One would hope I¡¯d have a little more resolve this time around.


    I dropped myself back down on my scuffed Chesterfield sofa  a secondhand shop throwaway, worth less than the pen in my hand. It was as jaded as I was. A dejected version of the piece would have been in its prime. Fitting.


    I downed a shot of whisky before I resumed my writing with shaking fingers. The paper was lined, which should help me keep the words legible. Should. It hadn¡¯t been working all that well so far. I¡¯d written a variety over the months, some begging forgiveness, some trying to help my wife understand my filth, some practically nk as my sullied brain struggled for a reason.


    Katreya, this letter began.


    But nobination of words would ever cut it.


    My pill bottles were already lined up. I¡¯d been stockpiling them for five months, which was more than enough to see me through to the other side. I hoped my anonymity in Worcester meant it would take days if not weeks for someone to find me, by which time I¡¯d be long gone. Nothing but a blue-tinged corpse, worthy of my destination.


    That¡¯s where I wanted to be. In the ground, not floating around like an outcast in this shitty life.


    Katreya,


    I looked at the empty page below her name. It should have been a confessional booth to regurgitate my soul into, but my words had dried up  a pitiful excuse from a professor of English. Sorry, a former professor, now nothing more than a disgraced man requested to resign his post rather than taint the college¡¯s good name. I still remember the shock and disgust in my colleagues¡¯ eyes. And now I was nothing more than a minimum wage insurance clerk, filing paperwork and restocking the stationery cupboard for a firm downtown. What a life sess.


    I downed another whisky and rethought my farewell. Why go into the minutia? What I hadn¡¯t admitted in person would have soon been uncovered in the aftermath.


    I forced my pen to move, opting to spell out the obvious.


    Katreya,


    Sorry, I was a sick cunt.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    I deserved this.


    Yours, Julian.


    What a hypocritical sentiment. I hadn¡¯t been Katreya¡¯s in heart for well over a decade. She¡¯d known it, too. Both me and I were lost to each other, regardless of the public facade. What did that matter, though? I was still perverse enough that she despised the very sight of me and always would.


    I ripped the sheet of paper off and tossed it aside along with the others. Half-written letters to Grace and Ryan, my daughter and son. An attempt for Michael, asking him to manage my probate affairs and arrange a barren funeral. My parents were both dead, which was a small mercy. They hadn¡¯t had to live through my disgrace.


    I recalled the hurt in Katreya¡¯s eyes as she spat her hate at me, jabbing a finger toward theptop that had finally seen me exposed. She¡¯d been pointing at a full-screen camera shot of one of Grace¡¯s best friends with her legs spread wide and a thick dildo stretching her open, gazing up at the camera like a whore. She had the word slut scrawled above her pussy in marker pen, which was another piece of damning evidence. Katreya recognized my handwriting from a mile away. That¡¯s what twenty-six years of marriage does for you. She knew me inside out. Or so she thought¡­


    Funny how such a great therapist as her couldn¡¯t see the madness in her own husband¡¯s eyes.


    I couldn¡¯t even plead it was a moment of insanity. That photo was one of hundreds. They showed at least three of the girls from Grace¡¯s college circle, seven years previous.


    The hurt in Katreya¡¯s eyes had stabbed me far less than the hurt and rage in Grace¡¯s when she found out, so thank the Lord I¡¯d tossed myptop into my suitcase along with my clothes so that she didn¡¯t have the option of viewing the pictures for herself.


    Fuck off and die, Dad, she¡¯d told me through raw tears. I can¡¯t believe you¡¯ve done this. I can¡¯t. I just can¡¯t! It¡¯s sick. It¡¯s fucking sick!


    Pain, heartbreak, disbelief, embarrassment. I wondered how many of her friends had admitted they¡¯d fucked me after Madeline blew the first whistle. Most likely a lot of them.


    The other girls on myptop were more recent examples. Students from my ssroom. Some are as recent asst September.


    Who gave a toss about goodbye letters after all that? And who gave a toss about living without their family? I was truly done for.

 Chapter 76

    I opened the first bottle of pills and started the pile. Bottles two and three helped it grow. Four and five made it look lethal. Six, seven, eight. The stash was high. The result is a certainty. I¡¯d need at least a liter of whisky to wash them down. Luckily, I had one to the side of me.


    I got the bottle ready and took hold of a fistful of pills, heart thumping to a different tune as I prepared myself. I¡¯d been stalling for another few months again, backing out at thest minute every fucking time. But not this time. Not. This. Time.


    Fuck earning credit by being a hero this evening. I¡¯d been a viin a thousand times over back at home, and I deserved to pay for it. I deserved this.This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    I pictured Katreya¡¯s face, tears streaming. I remembered Grace and Ryan¡¯s horror as they realized what a perverted piece of shit their father was. I imagined Michael¡¯s shock as he realized what a fuck up his brother had be. My mother-inw, Kristelle, cursing my name.


    I recalled the sneers of my disgusted co-workers. I even pictured our stuck-up neighbors, shaking their heads and judging what a lowlife human being I was.


    Then I remembered the beauty of our perfect Oxford life, and our Labrador Barney in the garden. Our oak floors, and our huge windows. Our kids ran through the living room when they were young. When they still believed in their father.


    My hand was trembling, but I kept hold of the pills. I closed my eyes and tried to ept my fate, tried to push myself to follow through with it, tried to FUCKING DO IT. But I couldn¡¯t. I was still too selfish to rid the world of my betrayals. Still clinging on to the ridiculous notion that one day, somehow, people would find a way to forgive me. But they wouldn¡¯t. I knew that. They¡¯d told me so with crystal rity.


    I threw the fistful of pills across the room. Damn, my pitiful existence.


    I scraped my nails across my scalp, tugging at my grown-out hair. I silently screamed and rocked back and forth, hating myself for the fucked-up filth I¡¯d been addicted to behind my family¡¯s back. I should have stood right up and made my confession over Sunday roast, or sought out therapy from a professional who wasn¡¯t my fucking wife.


    I, Julian Lockley, am a sex addict, who likes the degradation of barely legal girls.


    And the saddest thing of all? The God¡¯s truth of it?


    If I could go back in time, I wouldn¡¯t change my ways. I wouldn¡¯t have the restraint to keep my filthy dick in my pants and not take advantage of the pretty little princesses on offer.


    Even now, on the edge of taking my life, I could feel my sexuality bubbling away under the surface, like a pool of filth brought back to life.


    Rosie.


    The girl downstairs.


    I¡¯d seen her plenty of times in passing. I¡¯d written her off as out of bounds and kept the hell away. I¡¯d ignored the nervous drop of her eyes whenever I crossed her path and the way she pushed her sses up her cute little nose. I could live with that.


    I could handle how pretty she looked on her way back from herte shifts at the pizza house after college. I could pretend I wasn¡¯t watching her when I lit up a cigarette at the window as she was due home.


    But it was different now. I¡¯d seen her in a whole new light tonight. Far more up close and personal.


    Desperate. Innocent.


    Tiny hands to convey her thanks. A soft voice with a nervous thank you. Trembling fingers as she checked her mother was ok.


    I imagined my cock buried deep inside her innocence. Imagined scrawling filth all over her pale skin. Imagined punishing her with ps to her little tits. Imagined her begging for more.


    Fuck it. I deserved a beating, just like the assant I¡¯d wrestled away.


    At least I could thank God for the fact that my perversions were all of legal age or older. I¡¯d seen a celebratory 18th birthday banner on Rosie¡¯s apartment door less than three weeks after I¡¯d moved in here. I¡¯d frowned at the misfortune of its grotty wooden backdrop  such a contrast against the pretty glitter pink.


    Fucking hell, I couldn¡¯t help myself, even now, after ying the hero. I loosened my belt and took my cock in my hand, wondering just how sweetly a girl like her would show her gratitude. Would she hitch up her legs and offer her tender little pussy, subject to every fucked-up demand I made?


    My addiction would never fade. That much was clear.


    I worked my dick in a frenzy, a high after a low, milking myself to a stream of seedy thoughts, imagining her naked, whimpering at my touch, begging for more, until I blew my fucking load all over the coffee table, managing to aim away from my pill stash, at least. My fountain pen was sttered with cum when I was done, though. So much for the farewell letters.


    I lit up a cigarette at the window in the aftermath, staring out at the Crenham Drive misery as my senses came back to me. Both a blessing and a curse.


    I knew myself well enough to know where my needs would lead when it came to an innocent little damsel in distress, and I couldn¡¯t let it happen. Not here, in the hovel I¡¯d run to. Rosie didn¡¯t deserve any more demons, so mine had to be tamed until I dared to kill them along with myself.


    So, I gave myself one final demand to hold to.


    Whatever I did, whatever I thought, no matter how fucking hard my dick got, it wouldn¡¯t matter. It couldn¡¯t matter. That¡¯s what I promised myself.


    No matter what, I would stay the fuck away from the girl downstairs.

 Chapter 77

    ROSIE


    I wasn¡¯t expecting to find Mum in the kitchen when I stepped out of the bathroom the next morning. I was still toweling my hair dry as she gave me a huge grin, the frying pan already sizzling on the hob.


    ¡°I¡¯m getting you some breakfast before college.¡±


    ¡°Wow. Thanks.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t remember thest time Mum made me breakfast.


    ¡°How many eggs?¡± she asked me, and I stood beside her, still in shock.


    ¡°Two, please.¡±


    ¡°Toast?¡±


    She already had the bread out, ready to go.


    ¡°Yes, please.¡±


    The swelling had gone down on her face, and she was already made up to hide the split in her lip, which was lucky, but hmm, the realization took me a little off guard. She looked very preenedpared to usual for her morning of care work. I looked her up and down, noticing that she was in her best pair of jeans.


    She read my gaze.


    ¡°I called in sick,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m not feeling well after the Scottie blow-up. My face is still sore.¡±


    I understood that but kept on staring at her as she fried our eggs. Something wasn¡¯t quite adding up here.


    ¡°Are you going out or something?¡±


    She didn¡¯t look at me, just focused on the eggs.


    ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m heading out with Trisha for a bit to take my mind off it. We¡¯re going downtown to get some clothes for Ramsay.¡±


    That was code for heading downtown and hitting the clothes shops for themselves. I should have realized it was the end of the month and her wages hadnded in her bank ount. At least she¡¯d usually wait until the weekend to hit the shops, not call in sick at work on a Friday. It was lucky I was working so many pizza shifts since I¡¯d be the one bailing us out on the electricity meter.


    I couldn¡¯t hide how pissed off I was with her best friend.


    ¡°Nice that Trisha wants to be bothered with you this morning, considering she wouldn¡¯te when I was screaming for helpst night.¡±


    ¡°She didn¡¯t hear you,¡± Mum said, even though she knew that was bullshit. Trisha would have heard me loud and clear.


    Mum buttered my toast and put my eggs on top, handing it over like it was a gift. I guess it was. A token sign that she cared was always worth a lot to me.


    I walked through to our dining table, which was backed up in the corner of the living room. The ce looked weirdly big without the coffee table.


    Mum sat alongside me to munch on her breakfast, shing me a smile.


    ¡°Thanks forst night,¡± she said. ¡°Julian was a hero.¡±


    That same wistful grin was on her face, and I counted myself lucky for the good fortune. At least it wasn¡¯t Scottie she was doe-eyed over this time.


    It didn¡¯t take long for us to finish, so I took her empty te out along with mine. I washed them off in the sink, wondering how many we had left after a load went careening to ceramic deathst night.


    ¡°I¡¯ll get some more from town,¡± she told me from the doorway, reading my mind. ¡°The charity shops have a lot of them.¡±


    ¡°Good call,¡± I said.


    She moved closer, propping herself against the counter.


    ¡°So, about Julian. Do you think I should thank him by inviting him over for dinner?¡±


    It was a rhetorical question because she didn¡¯t care what I would think about it. She never cared what I thought about Scottie, the guy who raised his fists to her. I looked her in the eyes as I dried our tes, and I knew what she was asking me. She needed a hit of confidence.


    ¡°Yeah, I think he would like you. Sure.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not what I asked,¡± Mum said.


    ¡°No, but it¡¯s what you meant. And yeah, I think he¡¯d like you.¡±


    ¡°You do?¡±


    I smiled a genuine smile because Mum looked so happy standing there. Such a contrast with the wreck she wasst night.


    ¡°Yeah, I do.¡±


    ¡°I guess I¡¯ll have to ask him then when I see him next.¡±


    So much for never, ever speaking to the man upstairs. It gave me a weird lurch in my stomach. Part of me was mega happy at the thought of Julian taking Scottie¡¯s ce  a hero in a storm when Mum needed one. But another part of me wasn¡¯t quite so sure I wanted him as my mother¡¯s partner. I had some very deep tingles of my own¡­


    But I couldn¡¯t let myself go there. Julian must be in theirte forties, almost fifty, so it would be a huge age gap for Mum at thirty-five, let alone me. Plus, Mum liked him. She was already smitten, and it was showing. I shoved my thoughts aside and went to my bedroom, grabbing my college bag and tying my damp hair into a ponytail.


    ¡°I¡¯ll see youter,¡± I told Mum. ¡°Thanks for breakfast. It was great.¡±


    ¡°No problem.¡± Sheughed a little. ¡°I hope Julian enjoys my dinner just as much. I¡¯ve almost forgotten how to cook one.¡±


    She wasn¡¯t lying. I¡¯d barely known her cook in years. It was mainly me, making our pasta dishes and frying up budget chicken stir fry, or bringing back slices of pizza from work.


    I left her there, still flying high and tapping out a message on her phone. I wondered if she¡¯d already given Trisha the lowdown on what a knight in shining armor the man upstairs had been.


    What a shame I¡¯d learned to be the eldest out of the two of us. Theundry and housekeeping around Mum¡¯s issues had taken more of my time than kid¡¯s show coloring pens, or the billions of stories I¡¯d wanted to be reading. Thank God for audiobooks. Small mercies, plus at least they kept Scottie¡¯s voice out of earshot. Usually.


    Shame I didn¡¯t have my book on loud enough this morning. I was almost at the college gates when I heard an ¡®Oi, Rosie¡¯ over the narrator. I could have cursed when I spun around and saw Jayden, Scottie¡¯s son, right up behind me.


    Fucking hell. I wished he¡¯d been off my radar for today. I tugged out my earbuds so I could hear him.


    ¡°Dad said your mum kicked off at himst night. He said she was winding him up.¡±


    ¡°Not exactly how I¡¯d put it¡­¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°He said you got the crazy guy upstairs to throw him out, like an asshole.


    Dad¡¯s got a massive splinter in his leg.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, and my mum¡¯s got a swollen jaw and a split lip!¡±


    Jayden looked embarrassed at that. He scuffed the curb with his shoe.


    ¡°Did he hit her again?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s been a while though, right? Dad¡¯s been trying.¡±


    ¡°Not fucking hard enough.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t hold back the rage. My eyes were burning fiercely as I went on my way because rage was easier than crying. But Jayden wouldn¡¯t let it lie, following on behind me.


    ¡°Do you think you could talk to her? Dad was upsetst night. Said it got out of hand, and if you¡¯d have just left it, it would¡¯ve been fine.¡±


    That was more than I could take.


    ¡°BULLSHIT! He had his hands around her fucking throat, Jay! If I hadn¡¯t stepped in, he could have killed her!¡±


    Passers-by looked at us but didn¡¯t say a word, pretending ignorance, as usual. I put a hand to my forehead, hating this ce and everyone in it. Jay shrugged, hands in his pockets.


    ¡°Yeah, well, anyway. If you could speak to her, Dad would be grateful.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want him to be grateful! I want him to stay the fuck away. I¡¯m not putting in a good word for him. Ever!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s pretty harsh,¡± Jayden said, but I didn¡¯t care, just carried on walking.

 Chapter 78

    Why did he think his dad was such a good guy under the surface? He was more deluded than my mother, who was saying something. Still, I was probably deluded about my mum, too. He was likely as optimistic as I was, hoping one day they¡¯d turn a corner and be the parents we needed. At least my mum never raised her fists at me, and at least I was eighteen now, and able to provide support for us both, rather than depend on her to keep our electricity on.


    College went by in a blur as I tried to concentrate. English, Maths, Science. My surface-level friends chatted their usual pointless chatter, and the buzz of Friday was rippling through the other students, but I wasn¡¯t feeling it. I had no ns for the weekend, other than longer shifts at the pizza ce. I was done with any more fake illusions of friendship than necessary. I felt thirty years older than everyone around me anyway.


    I hung on in the library for a decent few hours after college finished, because I really couldn¡¯t be doing with another round of Jayden singing Scottie¡¯s praises. Plus, Scottie might well be there himself. I left it long enough that I managed to get to our block without any distractions and let myself in with a sigh. Mum was back from shopping. I saw it from the collection of bags lined up on the sofa. Zaza¡¯s. Great. The price tags on those things would be expensive.


    ¡°Ta-da!¡± she announced and appeared in the living room to give me a twirl. She was in a lovely purple dress, which suited her. It showed off her curves like a dream.


    I wish I shared some of them.


    I smiled at her. ¡°You look great, Mum.¡±


    She twirled again. ¡°You think?¡±


    ¡°I know.¡±


    ¡°Thanks.¡± She looked so pleased. ¡°I¡¯m going out with Trisha tonight. Martha¡¯s having Ramsay. I heard that Julian sometimes pops into the Brewery Tavern on his way back from work. Who knows, maybe we¡¯ll run into him and I can ask him over for that dinner.¡±


    Wow. She¡¯d been doing her research. The whole estate probably knew she had her eye on him by now.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± I said, then checked out the time on my phone. ¡°You¡¯d have to leave soon if you want to catch him at the end of the office day. He¡¯s usually home by six thirty.¡±This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Six thirty?! How do you know that?¡±


    I got a tickle in my stomach, as though I¡¯d done something wrong.


    ¡°We usually cross paths in the hallway. He arrives home when I¡¯m heading out for work. Not close enough to speak to. I just¡­ see him.¡±


    Her eyebrows shot up in panic. ¡°Fuck. It¡¯s almost six thirty already.¡±


    She grabbed her phone, no doubt typing out a frantic message to Trisha. Jeez, there was so much urgency after one single encounter with him. I wished she¡¯d calm down.


    As it turned out, she didn¡¯t need to ping Trisha, since a knock came at the door. She was on time for once, usually at least twenty minuteste everywhere she went.


    Mum tossed her phone on the sofa and ran to let her in.


    ¡°We¡¯d better go soon¡­¡± she began and then went silent, her words stopping dead.


    Fuck. I thought it was Scottie. I shot into the hallway to get him the hell away from her but stopped in my tracks as I saw the guy standing there.


    ¡°I just wanted to drop by and check you were ok,¡± Julian said with his posh ent, and it gave me another lurch in my stomach.


    Mum ran a hand through her hair. ¡°Wow, yeah, thank you. Come on in!¡±


    ¡°I should be getting back¡± he tried, but she beckoned him in like he was royalty stepping into the hall.


    She reeked of happy desperation, and it made me sad.


    I cleared the sofa of shopping bags in case he wanted to take a seat, but he didn¡¯t. He stood around awkwardly, checking out the scene of the crime. The remains of the coffee table were gone. I¡¯d thrown it into the trash heap downstairstest night.


    ¡°Cup of tea?¡± Mum asked him, dashing through to the kitchen.


    ¡°No, I¡¯m ok, thank you. Like I said, I have things I need to get back to.


    Work paperwork waiting upstairs.¡±


    He didn¡¯t sound all that convincing, despite the token smile he shot my mum. It was my eyes he fixed on while she busied herself with the kettle.


    ¡°And how about you, Rosie? Are you doing ok?¡±


    My cheeks bloomed looking at him. I pushed my sses up my nose as always, self-conscious. ¡°I¡¯ll survive. We appreciated your helpst night. Thank you.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re wee,¡± he said, and I looked at him fresh. He was wearing the same suit as yesterday. His tie was hanging the same way. He saw me looking and straightened it, then seemed to bluster and walk away.


    ¡°I¡¯ll let myself out,¡± he said. ¡°d you are both recovering.¡±


    Mum caught up with him before he reached the door.


    ¡°Hey, Julian, I was thinking. Maybe you coulde over for a, um¡­ thank you dinner. You deserve one.¡±


    I caught his eyes over her shoulder. They were still on me.


    ¡°I¡¯m pretty much stocked up on dinners for the week,¡± he said. ¡°Thank you for the offer, though.¡±


    ¡°Maybe next week?¡± she pushed, and I cringed inside for her. She was trying so hard.


    He didn¡¯t want to give her the cold shoulder, that much was obvious, so he smiled politely and gave her a nod. ¡°Maybe, yes. I¡¯ll have to check my calendar. Work¡¯s very busy this month.¡±


    ¡°Great,¡± she said, naive enough to believe him.


    ¡°Nice to see you both,¡± he said, before he walked away, his eyes still on me.


    Mum practically squealed as she closed the door behind him. It was as though he¡¯d just epted a wedding proposal, not given her a half-assed maybe on a dinner at some point in the future.


    ¡°Do you think he likes me?¡± she asked, and I didn¡¯t have the heart to disappoint her.


    ¡°I think so, maybe. He didn¡¯t say no, after all.¡±


    She sat down on the sofa and breathed out a sigh of relief.


    ¡°That¡¯s good. I¡¯ll still head out with Trisha for a drink, though. I can tell her all about it.¡±


    Poor Mum. Seriously. Life with Scottie had screwed with her mind. She was so oblivious to reality. Clinging on to so much blind hope.


    I was d I¡¯d grown up enough to manage the two of us.


    I just hoped Julian really would turn up for a meal with her sometime. I¡¯d kind of like him as her boyfriend, and maybe, just maybe that could happen one day. My thoughts were interrupted, because Mum startedughing on the phone with Trisha, and her words gave me a chill in my heart.


    ¡°Shall I head up to himter after a couple of drinks? I wonder what he¡¯d say if I turned up at his door with a bottle of wine in my hand.¡±


    I could only imagine Trisha would be there at the bottom of the stairs, cheering Mum on as she climbed. There was nothing I could say, nothing I could do, nothing that would make any difference once Mum had a couple of vodkas in her. I just hoped she wouldn¡¯t blow it.


    I wanted the best for her, I wanted to give her the best possible chance, even drunk after a night out with Trisha at the pub. So, there was only one thing for it, I had to set the stage.


    I had to warn him, prepare him for her knock at the door.

 Chapter 79

    JULIAN


    I didn¡¯t want to drop by their apartment, but I hadn¡¯t had a choice. I could have sworn I¡¯d seen Scottie lurking outside the block this morning and I imagined he¡¯d be trying to worm his way back in. Thankfully he wasn¡¯t back in their living room. Maybe Beverly would keep him far away from her in the future. Sometimes miracles can happen, so they say.


    She and Rosie had seemed well enough, all things considered. I felt a surprising amount of relief for two women I¡¯d met only yesterday. Especially for sweet Rosie. I couldn¡¯t bear the idea of her getting hurt.


    I lit up a cigarette at my window. I was still smoking as I heard Beverly¡¯sughter, loud enough that I could hear it two floors up. She was with the resident from apartment number four. A woman named Trisha, I believe. She¡¯d been turning her nose up at me at every opportunity since I¡¯d moved in, and she appeared to be that kind of angry, self-righteous character. Not a good mix. But maybe it was only me she regarded with such hostility.


    Beverly sounded happy, stillughing as she took Trisha¡¯s arm and they set off up the street together. It was a stark contrast tost night when she¡¯d looked like she was on the edge of hell. She wasn¡¯t bad looking. She shared the same fine, mousy brown hair as her daughter and her eyes were the same lovely almost pastel tone of blue, minus the cute sses. She was curvy as opposed to Rosie¡¯s skinny frame, but her appearance didn¡¯t change a thing for me. I was already feeling the apprehension of her invitation.


    I didn¡¯t want to have dinner with Beverly, and I most certainly didn¡¯t want to have dinner with her daughter. It would be a zing fire, too easily stoked. Christ, I was getting a hard-on just thinking about it. About her. Rosie, pushed her sses up her nose, asking me if my Sunday roast meat was ok. Perfect, I¡¯d reply, hiding my bloody hard meat beneath the table. Fuck it. I needed a distraction.


    I browsed through my stack of mindless ready meals in the fridge. What was it to be  pasta or pasta or pasta?


    A rapping at the front door made me start. It also made my flesh tingle. I couldn¡¯t imagine anyone else standing there other than sweet little Rosie. I didn¡¯t exactly have a queue of visitors that came calling.


    I hovered, battling with the idea of pretending I wasn¡¯t at home until the rapping got louder. A nasty shiver of a question rattled my senses.


    What if I had seen Scottie lurking?


    What if he¡¯d hung around until Beverly left and pounced on Rosie?


    What if she needed me?Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.


    More rapping on the door and I found myself smoothing down my hair and straightening my tie with my heart pounding all over again.


    I opened the door to the sweetest ray of sunshine.


    ¡°Rosie, what a surprise.¡±


    She was dressed for her shift at the pizza house, with her tight white t-shirt, and the green cap on her head. She looked so beautiful. An angelic little temptress. She just didn¡¯t know it.


    ¡°Hey,¡± she said, shifting awkwardly. ¡°I just wanted to pop up and say thanks again.¡±


    She was lying. I could read it in the drop of her eyes, the flush of her cheeks. I wasing to know her in such a short time. I realized then, as I watched her, that her sses were too loose, and that¡¯s why she had to keep pushing them up her nose. It only added to her cuteness  and my burgeoning hardon  as she did it again.


    ¡°You¡¯re very wee,¡± I told her, already nning to say my goodbye, but she pre-empted me. She held up one of her dainty hands with a wait.


    ¡°It¡¯s just, um¡­¡± she began, then smiled an embarrassed smile. ¡°I just wanted to check something with you¡­ about my mum.¡±


    My stomach dropped. I hoped it was nothing sinister.


    ¡°Please¡­¡± Rosie continued, chancing a nce behind me. ¡°Can Ie in for a minute? I just don¡¯t want to share it here. People spread rumors, you know?¡±


    Yes, I did know. I knew it all too well.


    I rarely ever saw the old couple down the corridor or the guy on crutches in the apartment opposite, but I respected her privacy all the same. Against my better judgment, I stepped aside to let her pass, breathing in her heady scent  coconut shampoo, I think.


    My living room put the shoddiness of hers to shame, and that was quite a statement. I tried to clear my strewn paperwork from the coffee table as her eyes wandered around. Thank fuck it wasn¡¯t my pile of farewell letters on view.


    I¡¯d furnished this ce from charity shops and second-hand warehouses on the outskirts of the city, telling myself I wouldn¡¯t be needing it for long, not once I mustered up the courage. Every single item was both essential and practically worthless. She looked surprised at that, which shocked me. I felt bizarrely embarrassed.


    I didn¡¯t offer Rosie a cup of tea, or even a seat as she stood there. Her fingers were sped awkwardly in front of her, and she looked so beautifully tongue-tied.


    I decided to break the ice for her. ¡°Is that idiot still hounding your mother?¡± ¡°No, no. Not yet,¡± she said. ¡°I mean, he will, but not yet. He¡¯ll leave it at least a few days before he tries. Unless she tries him first, which she won¡¯t do. She definitely won¡¯t do.¡±


    I loved her adoring ramble.


    ¡°That¡¯s a relief to hear. What was it you wanted to check?¡±

 Chapter 80

    She pushed her sses up her nose yet again, one finger, right on the bridge, looking so nervous it made me smile. ¡°The thing is, my mum is amazing, and I just wanted to tell you that she means it, about the dinner. She¡¯d like to cook you a meal to show her thanks.¡±


    Of course. Yes. Rosie was matchmaking.


    My smile soon dropped.


    ¡°I appreciate that, and I¡¯m sure it would be lovely, but unfortunately, I meant it, too. I have meals lined up already, and I¡¯m always very busy with office paperwork.¡±


    ¡°I see,¡± she said, and she did. She could read the meaning behind my words.This is the property of N?-velDrama.Org.


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing against your mother in the slightest,¡± I told her. ¡°I¡¯m sure she¡¯s a wonderful woman. She seems very nice.¡±


    ¡°She is. She¡¯s brilliant! She¡¯s so funny, and she loves being social, and she¡¯s a great dancer. She¡¯s probably out dancing right now.¡±


    The poor girl sounded like she was presenting a dating site profile.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure she is all of those things,¡± I said. ¡°But I am very busy this month, and you really must have to go to work now.¡±


    I walked along and opened the door, trying to coax her out, but she dithered, walking slowly. She paused when she got up next to me, and I caught her coconut scent again. She was so close it made my mouth water. I imagined licking her face. Christ, she needed to go before I did something stupid.


    ¡°The thing is¡± she began, and this time I opted for honesty. I had to.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry that I have to make things this in, but I¡¯m not interested in dating your mother. I apologize for that, but I don¡¯t want to waste anyone¡¯s time. Neither mine nor hers.¡±


    Rosie¡¯s eyes widened. I thought she might be about to cry.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s no reflection on her, I assure you.¡±


    The sweet little angel before me looked so disappointed that it stabbed me in the heart. I expected her to ept defeat and leave it at that, but she did neither. She stood in position in my doorway and looked me straight in the eye.


    ¡°I know Mum didn¡¯t seem brilliantst night, being so upset by Scottie, but really, she¡¯s great. Please give her a chance. At least one little chance to get to know you.¡±


    She could have had her hands in the prayer position from her tone. It was terrible to have to tear the faith from her, but my silence spoke louder than words. I stayed quiet but solid, imagining her dropping to her knees and begging for more while I waited, but still, she didn¡¯t let it go. Her efforts on her mother¡¯s behalf were respect-worthy.


    ¡°Please,¡± she said again. ¡°She¡¯s so happy you were so nice to her, and she¡¯ll show it. She wants to get to know you, and you¡¯ll like her. Definitely. And if you don¡¯t, that¡¯s cool, just give her a chance.¡±


    I wished I could have responded with a yes, but I couldn¡¯t. I¡¯d only be feeding her lies.


    ¡°Julian,¡± she carried on, and her use of my name was so meek, so endearing, that it stoked a further me in me. ¡°I need to tell you that Mum likes you because she does. That¡¯s why she was going out tonight. She wanted to see you.¡±


    I had to put out the fire and stomp it dead, so I lowered my voice.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want your mother. She isn¡¯t my type.¡±


    That startled her, which was no surprise since her mother was an attractive woman.


    ¡°I know she might seem a little young for you,¡± she said, ¡°but don¡¯t let that put you off. Age doesn¡¯t matter.¡±


    I almostughed at those words. If only she knew.


    ¡°Oh, it does,¡± I said. ¡°Listen, please, because I¡¯m going to be honest with you. I have no interest in your mother, and big age gaps don¡¯t turn me off. They turn me on. Which is exactly why I¡¯m warning you now.¡± I paused. ¡°Go to work, and forget we had this conversation. And please, unless in an emergency, stay away from me.¡±


    Her pretty blue eyes went so wide behind her sses.


    ¡°Stay away from you? Why?¡±


    I folded my arms, the temptation to reach out and grab her almost too much to bear.


    ¡°Because my restraint is poor at best, and this could be a difficult situation. It wouldn¡¯t end well for anyone.¡±


    She looked at me nkly, seemingly unable to fathom what I was saying, so Christ alive, I had to spell it out more clearly. I couldn¡¯t help myself.


    ¡°It¡¯s not your mother I¡¯m going to be wanting, Rosie, it¡¯s you.¡± The hitch of her breath and the shock on her face made my cock swell.


    ¡®Me,¡¯ she mouthed, no sound escaping. She swallowed and took a step back.


    ¡°Yes, Rosie. You. So please, get yourself to work, stay the hell away from me, and endeavor to quell your mother¡¯s enthusiasm as soon as possible.¡±


    The girl virtually stumbled backward. Her cheeks were burning bright when she straightened her cap and pushed her sses up her nose one more time.


    ¡°I might not be able to do that¡­¡± she said. ¡°I think she might visit you first.¡±


    ¡°Really? What makes you think¡±


    Ah. Of course. I sighed, tracking the train of events.


    ¡°You mean after the pub tonight, with your neighbor Trisha, is it?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s right. They can get a little bit¡­¡±


    ¡°Trashed, yes. I imagine so.¡± I put the conversation to bed. ¡°I won¡¯t answer the door.¡±


    ¡°Ok, fine,¡± she said, with a twist of emotions on her face I just couldn¡¯t read.


    ¡°Goodbye, Rosie.¡±


    She stepped out backward, her wide eyes not leaving mine.


    I closed the door on her, and pressed my back to it, waiting for her footfalls as she walked away. It took a few seconds before I heard them.


    My microwave meal could get fucked tonight. Instead, I opted for whisky, downing a decent swig straight from the bottle. I sat down on my sofa, got my cock out, and jerked off over the thought of Rosie¡¯s shocked face with her coconut scent still fresh in the air. Jerked off at the thought of licking her pale flesh. Jerked off at the thought of imagining her stripping naked. Jerked off until my fist was soaked with cum. Why fight a beast that can¡¯t be tamed?


    That seemed to quell my urges for a short time at least, and through the rest of my pointless evening, I watched mindless crap on TV, drinking myself through every second as I tried to ease myself into numbness. How my life had plunged to the depths.


    Once upon a time, I¡¯d have had myptop out, crafting out words like a wannabe Mervin Helville  inspired by Moby Dick rather than possessed by my dick. But no. Here I was in front of reality TV nonsense with a whisky bottle in my hand and cum-soaked tissues on the coffee table. Contrast didn¡¯t evene close.


    I¡¯d almost managed to drink myself into a sleeping stupor by the time the knocks on my door started up at just eleven. I turned the TV down and stayed silent, wishing I¡¯d had the foresight to turn it off.


    The knocks kept oning, louder and louder. Drunk hands are always so much more confident.


    ¡°Julian?¡± Beverly¡¯s voice said loudly from outside. ¡°Are you in there? I want to talk to you. To say thanks.¡±


    I ignored her, but she kept on going.


    ¡°Julian? It¡¯s Bev. I want to say thanks!¡±


    At this rate, she¡¯d have the guy with crutches out there along with her, wondering what the hell was going on. So, I sucked it up.


    I opened the door, and my eyes shot straight to Beverly¡¯s chest. She was wearing the same, deliciously tight purple dress she¡¯d been wearing earlier, only this time there was a lot more cleavage on show. That made her smile, drunk confidence showing. She twisted her fingers in her hair, biting her lip like she was in a porn movie. Most men would have been all over her like a rash.


    ¡°I appreciate your thanks,¡± I told her.


    ¡°I can show you my thanks if you like,¡± she said, then held up a bottle of wine in a grandiose gesture. She dared to take a step forward, but I closed the door just enough to get my point across.


    ¡°It¡¯ste, Beverly. I¡¯m sorry, but I need to get to bed.¡±


    As it turned out, I didn¡¯t have to say anything more. She must have been ufortably familiar with rejection.


    She started, upright, her eyes sharpening through her drunken haze.


    ¡°Shit, sorry. I should¡¯ve known, I just¡­¡± She shrugged with a sigh. ¡°I¡¯ll fuck off and leave you to it. Sorry for knocking.¡±


    Christ, I felt like a cunt as I bid her goodnight and closed the door. Felt like a cunt as I wished it had been her daughter standing there in that tight purple dress. Felt like a cunt as I sat back on the sofa and took my cock out again. Felt like a cunt as I imagined Rosie in that dress, kneeling, tongue out, looking up at me through her sses, just before I scrawled SLUT across her cheek and spurted cum all over her pretty face.


    And then I felt like a cunt as I came all over my fist again.

 Chapter 81

    ROSIE


    I¡¯d been sending messages whenever I could through my shift and tried to call Mum on my break, but my call went to voicemail and my messages showed as unread.


    I raced back home as soon as I could, praying I¡¯d intercept her, but it was toote. Our apartment door was unlocked, and Mum was already inside, devastated. She had tears rolling down her cheeks, breaths hitching as she sat next to Trisha on the sofa, both of them with sses of wine in their hands.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    I dropped my bag and crouched by Mum¡¯s side.


    ¡°Hey.¡±


    ¡°Julian doesn¡¯t want me!¡±


    My stomach lurched when I heard the pain in her voice.


    I put my hand on her knee. ¡°He hardly knows you yet. And you¡¯re drunk.¡± Trisha shook her head like she was the wise one.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t make any difference,¡± she said. ¡°He was a twat to her. An absolute prick.¡±


    ¡°How?¡±


    ¡°He practically mmed the door in her face.¡±


    That sounded like rubbish to me. It didn¡¯t seem his style.


    ¡°Did Julian m the door in your face, Mum?¡±


    Mum sucked in a breath. ¡°No¡­ not exactly¡­ he just. He didn¡¯t want me there. It was so obvious it was embarrassing.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Practically mmed the door on you,¡± Trisha repeated.


    I hated her being so self-righteous. I¡¯d have put money on the fact she¡¯d been cheering Mum on every step of the way.


    ¡°The guy is such an asshole,¡± she carried on. ¡°No wonder they call him fucked up. Arrogant tosser.¡±


    Really, of all the times in my life that I¡¯d wanted to tell Trisha to piss off, this felt like the worst of them. It was her who hadn¡¯t given a shit when I was screaming. It was Julian who¡¯de racing to save us.


    I focused on Mum.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure he thinks you¡¯re great, he¡¯s probably just¡­ I dunno¡­¡±


    ¡°A wanker,¡± Trisha finished for me. ¡°He¡¯s a wanker, Rosie. Everyone knows it. They say he¡¯s a perv who likes young girls, anyway. Your mum¡¯s probably way too old for that freak.¡±


    I burnt up, skin prickling. Her words were too close forfort. Luckily, she was too drunk to notice.


    ¡°Fucking asshole,¡± she said. ¡°He¡¯s nothing but shit on a shoe, insulting your mum like that.¡±


    Like hell he was. Insulting my mum was the very opposite of what he¡¯d been doing.


    I felt weirdly defensive of Julian, but things would get a whole lot worse if me and Trisha ended up rowing. I forced myself to stay calm. Trisha¡¯s views on Julian meant nothing. Her views on anything meant nothing.


    I took the foil-wrapped pizza from my bag, eyes still on Mum. ¡°I¡¯ve got you some food. I doubt you¡¯ve eaten, right?¡±


    Mum shook her head. No, she hadn¡¯t. Surprise.


    ¡°Pizza sounds great,¡± Trisha said, and again, I wished she¡¯d just fuck the hell off.


    I¡¯d only just got to my feet when Mum started up with her self-hatred. It always stabbed me deeply, hating how much she hated herself. She didn¡¯t deserve it. I¡¯d meant everything I¡¯d said to Julian. Mum¡¯s heart was in the right ce, even if she didn¡¯t believe it.


    ¡°If I was better looking, he¡¯d have let me in,¡± she said to Trisha, nking me out. ¡°I thought this dress looked good enough on me, but I was wrong. I look shit in it.¡±


    I got the pizza slices ready for the microwave but had to brace myself against the counter, frustrated. I¡¯d heard Mum¡¯s different mantras all my life.


    Not smart enough. Not hot enough. Not good enough.


    Too dumb. Too ugly. Too weak. Too pathetic. Too useless.


    Too worthless for anyone to love¡­


    But I loved her. ME. I loved her with everything I had.


    ¡°You¡¯re better off without him, Bev,¡± I heard Trisha say. ¡°There¡¯s never any smoke without fire. He¡¯s called a sicko for a reason. He probably hangs out at the school gates. Fucking paedo.¡±


    I¡¯d love to know just who said Julian was a sicko, and what he¡¯d done to earn their crappy judgment. He hardly seemed like a criminal to me. This whole ce was full of idiots, with their reels of bullshit to add to everything.


    I pulled myself together enough to heat the pizza slices, then presented them on a te. Mum ignored it, still streaming depressive tears and preferring wine, but Trisha tucked in with a thanks. I had no interest in eating with her.


    Neither of them acknowledged me as I walked away.


    I took off my cap andy on my bed, staring up at the ceiling as my mind ran through the craziness. If only Mum had replied to my messages or answered my call, maybe I could have stalled her. Maybe she wouldn¡¯t have gone up there. But this sorry mess wasn¡¯t my fault. It wasn¡¯t my decision to go upstairs trashed, trying to seduce a guy I barely knew.


    I¡¯d usually be right in there with Mum, sobbing alongside her, but for once, I wasn¡¯t entirely on her side.


    I screwed my eyes shut as a fresh round of sobs sounded from the living room. You¡¯d think Mum would have been more devastated by her ex-boyfriend trying to strangle her than she would by a guy saying no, thank you to a date, but no. It didn¡¯t change the fact Mum was Mum, though. It didn¡¯t change the fact that I cared about her more than life itself.


    I was grateful when Trisha upped and left at just gone midnight, telling Mum that Julian was a sicko again on her way. Mum was still sitting on the sofa, staring into miserable space as I locked us in and bolted the door.


    I took a seat beside her.


    ¡°It¡¯s only one night. You might still get to know him.¡±


    You¡¯d have thought the oue was set in stone from the way she shook her head.


    ¡°It¡¯s obvious he doesn¡¯t think I¡¯m good enough. He doesn¡¯t want to get to know me, and I don¡¯t me him.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know that. You can¡¯t know that yet,¡± I said. ¡°If you¡¯d have answered my calls earlier, I would¡¯ve said it wasn¡¯t a great idea to go charging up there after one single night.¡±


    She looked so hurt. ¡°Oh, right. So, I¡¯m in the wrong now, am I? I¡¯m not good enough and shouldn¡¯t have even tried?¡±


    I wanted to shake her. Seriously wanted to shake her. It was another case of her being the lovestruck teenager while I tried to be the parent, and tonight I¡¯d had enough.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to bed,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve got another shift in the morning.¡±


    She looked shocked. ¡°You¡¯re leaving me?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving you. I¡¯m going to bed. Maybe you should get some sleep too. You¡¯ve got work earlier than me.¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t be going. I¡¯m too upset to handle it. I¡¯ll be up all night, with nobody with me. Story of my fucking miserable life.¡±


    That was utter crap. I was always there with her.


    I sighed. ¡°Go to bed, Mum.¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t be able to sleep.¡±


    ¡°Please, Mum. Just go to bed.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no point. I feel too fucking shit.¡±


    My usual sweet self would be right there beside her, doing whatever it took to make her happy, but for once, I left her to it. I hugged her before I left, but she barely hugged me back, her lip trembling with the heartache. I almost wobbled with my resolve but I couldn¡¯t. I needed to be ok for work. I needed to bring the cash in, for both of us.


    I checked the bathroom cab carefully for packets of meds as I brushed my teeth. Mum hadn¡¯t used the threat in years, but it still made me paranoid whenever I saw her crying. There were only a few painkillers and some indigestion pills, but I never wanted to take any chances. I took them with me to my bedroom.


    In all honesty, I stood no more chance of sleeping tonight than she did. My stomach was churning with hurt, fear, and guilt. My thoughts spun with how I could have tried harder to prepare the way for her, but I came back to my senses at that. I¡¯d tried hard enough with Julian. He just wasn¡¯t interested in Mum, especially not when she was stumbling drunk after a pub session.


    I¡¯d been so caught up in how upset she was tonight that I¡¯d barely given my feelings a hearing. I pictured him standing there in the doorway earlier, and his words came mming back to me.


    It¡¯s not your mother I¡¯m going to be wanting, Rosie, it¡¯s you.


    Trisha was probably talking absolute bullshit about the school gates allegation, but there was no doubt that the man upstairs liked younger women. He¡¯d told me so, and his eyes had been fixed so hard on mine as he¡¯d said it. So honest.


    It shouldn¡¯t give me tingles. It shouldn¡¯t make my heart race, my skin prickle and my mouth turn dry. He was too old for me. Way, way too old. And even if I did want him, he wouldn¡¯t take it. No way. I¡¯d disappoint him like hell. I¡¯d never even kissed a guy before, let alone one thirty years older than me. I¡¯d have no idea what to do.


    I¡¯d want to find out, though¡­

 Chapter 82

    Fuck. I shouldn¡¯t be thinking like that, not with Mum crying next door.


    I wondered what it would be like, to have sex with a man like Julian. I wondered how he¡¯d stare at me if I stripped naked for him, and what he looked like under his suit. I wondered what his cock would look like¡­ if the romantic filth I read and listened to on audio was telling the truth¡­


    I hoped so. I¡¯d love to live out even one of those scenes in real life.


    Mum was still heartbroken, but I couldn¡¯t stop myself. The memory of Julian¡¯s words was too strong and too heated, and the strength in the way he¡¯d thrown Scottie across the room was too intense to ignore. Plus, I wanted the distraction. I needed the distraction.


    It¡¯s not your mother I¡¯m going to be wanting, Rosie, it¡¯s you.


    There was no denying it¡­ I wanted him, too. I wanted a savior, who stood out like a romance novel hero. I wanted the man who¡¯d saved my mother.


    My panties were wet as I hitched my skirt up, and my clit was sparking the second I touched it. My imagination was alive with thoughts of Julian. His intense green eyes, his strong hands, and the way he stood so tall. His voice¡­ so rich, so polished.


    The way he said cunt with such a beautiful ent.


    I was desperate to know how a guy like him would fuck a girl like me. What would his voice sound like, and what would he say? Would he be like one of the crazy hot narrators I adored?


    He¡¯d probably be even hotter.


    I came fast, muffling myself with a pillow, because I shouldn¡¯t have done that. I shouldn¡¯t have yed. I needed to keep away from him like he¡¯d told me to  for Mum¡¯s sake as well as mine. So, why taunt me with fantasies?


    Just a shame there were so many fantasies at my disposal. Damn it.


    I called up social media and checked out the book groups I was a member of. I asked for dirty age gap rmendations in an anonymous post, and the advice came flooding in from loads of filthy romance bookworms. The list was incredible. My ears were already desperate for the audio. I typed out thank yous and added books to my ylist at lightning speed, setting one up right away. I couldn¡¯t help myself.


    Mum was huddled up in the fetal position when I found her asleep in front of the TV the next morning. I cleared up the pizza te and got some porridge ready, waking her up with a gentle shake. I got a huge rush of sympathy as I looked at her, and I¡¯d have sat there all day if I had the chance. My resolve fromst night had broken.


    ¡°Eat up,¡± I said as I handed the bowl over, but she ced it next to her with nothing more than a token of thanks.


    I doubted she¡¯d be eating it, but I had no time to encourage her. I had to get to work.


    ¡°Are you going to be alright?¡± I asked, and she nodded at me, rubbing her tired eyes. ¡°I¡¯ll survive.¡±


    I hoped so.


    I worked my butt off that weekend, but I was hanging out with Mum every chance I had. Around that, with every other chance I had, I was enjoying audio and ebook filth from red-hot online rmendations. I convinced myself that book heroes were plenty good enough, burying myself in fantasy and nothing more as I stayed away from savior Julian, checking he was out of sight every time I left the apartment. I resisted the urge to look up at his window and see if he was standing there smoking, and I tried to keep my thoughts clear of him because he was just the man upstairs and nothing more.


    Mum did ok with picking herself up. Within a week she was smiling and sitting at the table with me for dinner. She was back at work and enjoying TV, and she even got her crochet kit out to make a hat for cute little Ramsay. I loved seeing her like that, grinning when a show made herugh. I¡¯d sit andugh along with her.


    I prayed this time it wouldst, and she¡¯d settle into a life that didn¡¯t have Scott in it, but within three weeks she seemed to be getting preupied, messages pinging in constantly on her phone. She always tilted the screen away from me when she opened it, so it became obvious. As much as I hated it, it had to be him. There had been no begging from Jayden in days, and he¡¯d been keeping his distance since his dad didn¡¯t need my help anymore.


    ¡°Don¡¯t do it, please,¡± I said to Mum before I left for work on Friday evening. But my words were wasted. She was already dressed up in her Zaza¡¯s purple dress.


    ¡°Don¡¯t do what?¡± she asked, and that sealed the deal for me. Her pretend ignorance confirmed it.


    I was almost out of the door when she cleared her throat in the hallway.


    ¡°Me and Trish will probably be hanging out herete tonight, so maybe you could stay with one of your work friends? You haven¡¯t seen them in ages. Or your college ones. How about them?¡±This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    She was clutching at straws, because I hadn¡¯t been around the pizza house gang for months now on a night out. And as for my college friends, well. I barely even knew what they did on the weekends.


    ¡°I¡¯lle home,¡± I told her. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll have my book on, like always. I¡¯ll set the volume up high.¡±


    She looked so ufortable it hurt.


    ¡°You¡¯ve got work so early though¡­¡± she tried. ¡°I¡¯d hate to keep you up like that.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be fine,¡± I said and left her behind.


    I had ten unread messages when I left work and set off for hometer that evening. All of them came with a warning.


    It¡¯s going to be loud here, love, sleep over somewhere.


    Go out and have fun, Rosie, and get an early night somewhere else.


    We might not hear you. It¡¯s going to be a loud one.


    On and on they went.


    I didn¡¯t reply, anger already rising as I marched up the street. I dashed up the stairs to scope out just how far the situation had gone, but when I turned my key in the lock the door stayed shut. I elbowed it, but it didn¡¯t shift an inch.


    It was bolted.


    ¡°Mum!¡±


    The music turned up louder, and I could have burst into tears on the spot.


    She was probably dancing around the living room with the guy who made her life hell. I was so enraged I could have killed him. He was that pitiful, it made me feel sick.


    Another message pinged through to my phone, which almost drove me crazy. If I¡¯d had more strength, I would have kicked my way in there.


    You could head over to Jayden¡¯s tonight, sweetheart. He¡¯d love to see you and could make up the spare bed. Or go to Trisha¡¯s? She¡¯s only down the hall. x


    She knew I knew Scottie was in there, but she didn¡¯t care. She was so desperate for attention, so needy for someone to love her, that she¡¯d rather shunt me aside than tell him goodbye.


    I didn¡¯t want to go to Jayden¡¯s, and I didn¡¯t want to hang out with my pizza friends, or my college friends, and I didn¡¯t want to sculk down the corridor to Trisha¡¯s ce. She¡¯d have been in on Scott worming his way back into Mum¡¯s heart from the very first message.


    I slid to the floor with my back to the door, fighting back the tears, because I didn¡¯t want them. I needed to be the strong one, not the hurt one. Mum would have plenty of hurting her way.


    I put my earbuds in, but tonight books meant nothing to me. I had my eyes closed for ages, trying to focus and must have been there for way over an hour when I felt a shadow over my face.


    I tugged myself free from the audio, my heart suddenly racing when I saw just who it was. His tie was loose, and his hair was ruffled, and I could smell the whisky right the way down from the floor.


    ¡°Are you ok, Rosie?¡±


    The bass was still thumping out from my apartment, but I shrugged and dropped my eyes.


    He¡¯d told me to stay away from him, so I would stick to it.


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll be fine.¡±


    Julian gestured to my door.


    ¡°Is he in there?¡±


    I didn¡¯t want to confess the obvious, so I shrugged again.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. She¡¯s in there with someone.¡±


    The man upstairs didn¡¯t even humor my lie.


    ¡°Have you got nowhere else to go to stay away from him?¡±


    ¡°What does it matter? He¡¯ll still be here in the morning.¡±


    Julian crouched down, right in front of me.


    ¡°It matters a lot.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but crack a hurt grin.


    ¡°Yeah, sure it does. Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m used to it by now.¡±


    He looked so pissed off, I felt it in my gut.


    ¡°Is there nowhere else you can go? Nobody who¡¯ll let you stay?¡±


    Fuck dropping my eyes, because I couldn¡¯t  the pull from his was just too strong. I looked right into his stare, hating how the tears sprang up before I could stop them. They¡¯d be obvious, even behind my sses under shitty lights.


    ¡°No,¡± I admitted. ¡°There isn¡¯t. Nowhere else I want to be.¡±


    He looked up and down the corridor, face tormented like he was battling some inner demons.


    I sure didn¡¯t push him, just sat there, resigned to being there all night long.


    I expected a goodbye when he got to his feet, but there wasn¡¯t one. He gestured upstairs, instead. ¡°You need to stay safe,¡± he said. ¡°So, you¡¯d beste along with me.¡±

 Chapter 83

    ROSIE


    I was up from my numb ass before he could rethink his offer. my legs were stiff from how long I¡¯d been sitting there with my back to my door.


    I needed him. Just likest time.


    The man upstairs didn¡¯t speak as he led the way up. He used one single key with no keyring to let us in, stepping aside to let me pass him. He scrabbled to clear the coffee table, rushing into the kitchen with three empty mugs and a couple of shot sses. I followed him, hating his obvious embarrassment.


    I had plenty enough embarrassment of my own. If only he knew how many book heroes I¡¯d imagined him as¡­


    ¡°Sorry,¡± he said. ¡°I wasn¡¯t expecting visitors.¡±


    His kitchen was practically barren, like the rest of his ce. His fridge was buzzing loudly, and his microwave looked about twenty years old, and there was no sign of a dishwasher, just an old sink with a dripping tap. He put the mugs in there and rinsed them clean while I leaned against his big, white-washing machine.


    ¡°Would you like a drink?¡± he asked. ¡°Tea? Coffee? Sorry, I don¡¯t have much else.¡±


    ¡°Tea, please.¡±


    ¡°Milk? Sugar?¡±


    ¡°Both, please. Two sugars.¡±


    I noticed the way he deliberately blocked the cupboard from view with his frame, grabbing two teabags and dropping them in a pair of mugs before he put the kettle on to boil. Each of the mugs was different, including the ones in the sink, just like ours were. A jumble that didn¡¯t match.


    I nced in his fridge as he took the milk out. There was just one solitary stack of ready meals on one shelf. He sniffed the milk before he poured it, making sure it hadn¡¯t gone off. Not that I¡¯d have cared, to be honest. The very fact I was off the cold corridor floor and in someone¡¯s ce was a wee relief. He could have had nothing but sour milk and I¡¯d have still preferred it to holing up with Trisha.


    He handed me my tea.


    ¡°My apologies again. It¡¯s a terrible brand.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t lying. It was even weaker than the crap we used downstairs.


    He was still in his suit, tie hanging loose, and his shirt hanging loose along with it. His hair was ruffled, and he had rough stubble, but he still looked gorgeous, gaunt or not. In my eardrums, he¡¯d been billionaires, dirty therapists, and hot older professors. Hell, he¡¯d even been a lumberjack, but I couldn¡¯t imagine that so well.


    I leaned back against the washing machine, letting the situation sink in. I was in the kitchen of the man upstairs, and Scott was dancing around the living room with my lovestruck mum like I didn¡¯t exist. The depression finally reared its head in me, facing the truth about my sad, lonely existence. Would anyone have noticed if I¡¯d wandered off into nowhere this evening? Would anyone have cared if the guys from block seven had been out there, threatening to pin me to the wall and use me however they wanted? They were known for spouting that kind of rancid crap at people who passed them.


    The only one who seemed to care I was out in the hallway was Julian. Just as he¡¯d been the only one to answer my screams for help.


    I looked over at him, grateful. Lumberjack or not, he was my savior. Again.


    ¡°I appreciate the invite,¡± I said. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°Steady on.¡± Heughed a sarcasticugh. ¡°It¡¯s hardly a five-star hotel. You haven¡¯t seen the state of my bedroom yet.¡±


    The thought gave me one hell of a lurch in my stomach. It sounded as though I¡¯d be staying in his bed. He didn¡¯t need to give me the prime position. I¡¯d happily make do on the sofa. I did not expect romance novelsing to life, or turfing him out of his bedroom.


    ¡°I¡¯ll dly take the sofa,¡± I told him. ¡°Don¡¯t worry.¡±


    He looked puzzled, still holding his tea.


    ¡°Oh, no. No, don¡¯t you worry? I won¡¯t be staying in my bedroom with you! No need to be rmed!¡±


    We¡¯d both got our wires crossed.


    ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°I mean, if you want your bed, I can take your sofa. I¡¯ve been a sofa surfer plenty of times before.¡±


    Heughed. ¡°Ah, I see. No need for that. The sofa is even more ufortable than the bed. You¡¯ll be pleased you epted the offer.¡±


    He changed the subject by opening his fridge again.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have all that much in the way of variety, so I¡¯m sorry if you¡¯re hungry. I tend to stick with the easiness of the same boring ready meals every night. It¡¯s not exactly appetizing.¡±


    I¡¯d almost forgotten I had pizza still wrapped up in foil in my bag. I dug in to pull it out. Four slices. Two for me, two for Mum. She wouldn¡¯t be needing hers now, though. I opened the foil in front of him.


    ¡°We could eat this?¡±


    ¡°Lovely,¡± he said, with a genuine smile. ¡°That looks delicious.¡±


    He took out a te and opened the microwave, and I handed the pizza over with a grin.


    ¡°It¡¯s got olives on it,¡± I said. ¡°And jpenos. I know they¡¯re not everyone¡¯s favorite.¡±


    The look in his eyes was so warm. ¡°I really couldn¡¯t care less what¡¯s on it. It looks excellent. Much better than a ready meal.¡±


    We stared at each other as the microwave hummed, and I couldn¡¯t help his words spinning into my head. It¡¯s not your mother I¡¯m going to be wanting, Rosie, it¡¯s you.


    Was that still true? Really? Would he want a girl like me? Surely not. He couldn¡¯t do it. I wasn¡¯t exactly a storybook minx.


    I decided to touch on thest time we¡¯d spoken.


    ¡°I know Mum came up here that night.¡±


    He turned his attention back to the microwave, avoiding my eyes.


    ¡°Indeed, she did. I¡¯d nned to ignore her calling, but unfortunately, she was getting rather enthusiastic. I didn¡¯t want the poor chap on crutches to be hobbling up to my door.¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.


    I couldn¡¯t help but smirk, imagining it. ¡°Yeah, Bertie. He would¡¯ve poked his nose in. He¡¯s a nice guy, though.¡±


    ¡°Bertie. Right. I didn¡¯t know his name, let alone his temperament.¡± He met my eyes again. ¡°How long have you lived here?¡±


    ¡°My whole life, pretty much. My mum was still with my dad when I was born, but not for long. He disappeared and the council gave Mum our apartment, and this is where we stayed.¡±


    ¡°Are you still in touch with your father?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°I never met him.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a shame. Maybe he would have sorted your mother¡¯s disgusting boyfriend out and kept him away from the both of you.¡±


    I¡¯m sure my cheeks must have flushed beetroot, and he looked horrified.


    ¡°I¡¯m very sorry,¡± he said. ¡°I overstepped the mark there.¡±


    He looked grateful when the microwave pinged. It would have been so easy to use the distraction and veer the conversation away to something lighter, but I didn¡¯t want to. I couldn¡¯t help but want more. Some kind of human connection in a world where Mum had chucked me out of hers. I needed that right now.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t overstep the mark. It¡¯s just weird. I dunno.¡± I paused. ¡°I didn¡¯t think it woulde to this with Scottie. Whenever Mum split up with him, she always said it was really over, for good, and we¡¯d never see him again. I wonder if she still believes it when she says it. She seems to.¡± His eyes locked straight back onto mine, as though I¡¯d touched a nerve.


    ¡°I can only imagine she does. Resolve can seem very strong when you dere it, but a lot harder to maintain.¡± He smiled a sad smile. ¡°In my experience, anyway.¡±


    He ripped off two pieces of kitchen roll, picked up the te, and gestured through to the living room.


    ¡°How about you plonk your butt down on the Chesterfield and see howfortable it is for yourself? We can watch some TV if you like.¡±


    TV was thest thing I wanted. I wanted him. I wanted his closeness and his concern. And more. Sad and crazy, but true. Even though it scared the crap out of me, I couldn¡¯t deny it. The swirl of tingles wasn¡¯t going away  they were getting worse. Far, far worse.


    He was better than any of the billionaires, therapists, or professors I¡¯d been imagining. He was real. It was Julian. He was the savior upstairs.


    I sat down on the sofa, and he sat as far away as possible on the other side. He smiled as he pulled the coffee table closer and set the te and the sheets of kitchen roll down between us, then he waited until I took the first slice before taking one of his own. Instinctive manners. Scottie would have dived straight in there.


    I couldn¡¯t stop scouting the ce out as I bit into hot cheese and olives. A small TV, a bookshelf stacked with well-worn paperbacks, and an overhead light without a shade. His coffee table was scuffed, and the leather on his sofa was faded to hell, but none of it mattered. His presence was enough to counter all of it.


    Still, I couldn¡¯t work out how a man like him came to live here, in crappy old Crenham Drive. Should I ask him? Would that be ok? I didn¡¯t want to poke into his business, so I kept munching on pizza, hoping he¡¯d say something about himself, but he didn¡¯t. He nodded to acknowledge how good the food was and wiped his gorgeous mouth with the kitchen roll, but that was all. His silence only added to the intrigue. What was he hiding? What was the story of his life? Why did they call him a sicko, when he seemed like anything but?


    I tried a different approach.


    ¡°Did you go to the Brewery Tavern tonight? I heard that you go there.¡±


    His eyes were sharp, scoping me out.


    ¡°I do sometimes, yes. I stayed longer than usual this evening. I¡¯ve had a long week at work.¡±


    ¡°What kind of job do you do?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m an insurance clerk. I order stationery and process paperwork, in the main.¡±


    ¡°A lot of it, from the sounds, if it keeps you busy.¡±


    ¡°Yes. The harder you work, the more work appears on your te, don¡¯t you find?¡±

 Chapter 84

    I loved how he spoke to me like I was a valuable worker, not just a girl at a pizza ce, working shifts around college. He was right, though. I¡¯d taken on more and more since I worked there. I was the one who was always dashing around, with more and more responsibility piled on top of me.


    I chanced a probing question.


    ¡°What did you do before? I somehow doubt you¡¯ve been an insurance clerk all your life.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Heughed. ¡°I thought I might be fitting into Worcester life quitefortably by now.¡±


    Iughed with him, enjoying hispany.


    ¡°Actually,¡± he went on, ¡°I was a professor of English, from Oxford.¡±


    ¡°Wow,¡± I said, and I could imagine him there for real, standing before university students giving lectures. ¡°You must have studied hard. I know Oxford is tough to get into, let alone teach at.¡±


    ¡°I always loved English. I wanted to be Hemingway when I was younger. As it turns out, I spent most of my time trying to help other people walk in his footsteps. Ironic. Some of them have been very sessful. I can only imagine I¡¯m a much better teacher than the author.¡±


    He looked so proud of his students. I wished someone would be that proud of my achievements one day.


    ¡°Are you a writer? Do you still want to be?¡±


    ¡°No, no. I haven¡¯t written for a long, long time. I have had more pressing pursuits. Some not all that honorable.¡± Heughed a sadugh, masking it with sarcasm. ¡°Maybe I should take it up again, now I¡¯m just an insurance clerk. Who knows? Maybe I could surprise fate and be a fresh incarnation of Shakespeare.¡±


    He didn¡¯t look convinced in the slightest. He looked depressed as hell. Like he¡¯d been cast into the pits of his past life. My next question seemed obvious.


    ¡°What made you change your career? Why leave Oxford?¡±


    He took another bite of pizza before he answered me.


    ¡°Plenty of things, all of my own doing.¡± He sighed and looked me in the eye as if he was weighing me up. ¡°A sinner has to pay for his crimes. Some people spend their penance in prison. I chose to spend it on Crenham Drive. It¡¯s worse here, I suspect.¡±


    Iughed at that. ¡°Is Crenham Drive worse than prison?¡±


    He sighed. ¡°No, of course it¡¯s not. It¡¯s just where I chose to up and leave to.¡±


    ¡°What did you leave behind?¡±


    I knew I¡¯d overstepped the mark at that. His eyes dropped, and he cleared his throat.


    ¡°A great many things.¡±


    ¡°Sorry,¡± I said.


    ¡°No need,¡± he replied. ¡°But that¡¯s a rabbit hole we don¡¯t want to explore.¡±This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    I did want to explore it. I wanted to dive right in like Alice and get to the depths. Get to him. There was only one way to do that right now¡­ I stayed silent, and it worked. He spoke again after another bite of pizza.


    ¡°When I first arrived here, I was a little loose-tongued. I got drunk in the Brewery and stupidly told people more than I should have done. I know there are whispers still circling.¡±


    I looked at him.


    ¡°People say a lot of things around here. The rumors are rarely true.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure there are plenty of rumors about me that are true. No smoke without fire, as they say.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t hold back, grinning to lighten it.


    ¡°Are you a sicko, then?¡±


    He didn¡¯t take it humorously.


    ¡°Ouch. That¡¯s harsh.¡± He looked up at the ceiling and my cheeks burned all over again. ¡°Maybe not all that untrue, though. I know plenty of people who¡¯d agree with that statement. It depends on your view.¡± It only made me more intrigued.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you try out mine? I¡¯m quite open-minded.¡±


    ¡°Like I said,¡± he told me. ¡°It¡¯s a rabbit hole I don¡¯t want to explore. And neither should you. I think you have more sense in your head than that. You¡¯re a wise girl.¡±


    Girl.


    I wasn¡¯t a girl, I was eighteen. He seemed to read my mind when I flinched.


    ¡°I¡¯m forty-eight years old,¡± he said. ¡°You¡¯re a girl to me, Rosie. Or you should be.¡±


    ¡°Should be?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Should be.¡± He brushed the crumbs from his shirt onto the empty pizza te. ¡°And you should be getting to bed now, you must be exhausted.¡±


    He didn¡¯t give me the chance to argue with him, just got up and walked away. I didn¡¯t want to follow him. I didn¡¯t want to move, I just wanted to hear his story. I wanted to hear about his life in Oxford, and what made him a sicko, and what led him to Crenham Drive.


    ¡°Rosie,e on, please,¡± he said, from the hallway. I knew he¡¯d be standing at the bedroom door, and I knew he wanted me out of sight. He didn¡¯t want to venture down any rabbit holes.


    Who was I to argue? I was just a rescue puppy in a stranger¡¯s t.


    ¡°Sure,ing,¡± I replied, and picked up my bag from the floor.


    The bedroom door was open when I got there. His bed was a double, but his wardrobe was a single. He had a solitarymp on a bedside table. It was as barren as the rest of the ce.


    ¡°My apologies again,¡± he said. ¡°But I have only one set of bedding. You¡¯ll have to make do with mine. And if you would like a makeshift night dress, I have some shirts hanging up. Help yourself.¡±


    If anything, the thought of wearing his shirt and sleeping in his sheets was thrilling.


    He walked on in, sat down on his bed, and tried to fluff the t pillows up for me. The bedsprings creaked underneath him. They gave me a zip up my spine, imagining how much noise they¡¯d make if he was on top of me, fucking me. I leaned against the doorframe, transfixed by the sight of him. Something had changed. His breaths were shallower, and he wouldn¡¯t look at me, just busied himself by settling the pillows and switching on the bedsidemp. He was still avoiding my gaze as he took a towel from his wardrobe and ced it on the bed.


    ¡°I have one terrible bar of soap and a bit of shampoo if you want to use it,¡± he said. ¡°The bathroom is to your right.¡±


    I shed it a nce.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re wee.¡±


    I moved aside on instinct as he left the room, but there was a moment of closeness. I wished I had the confidence to pull him back, and to ask him again, what made him a sicko. What had he done to end up here? And did he mean what he¡¯d said that night when he¡¯d pushed me away?


    It¡¯s not your mother I¡¯m going to be wanting, Rosie, it¡¯s you.


    I couldn¡¯t let it go. For once, I wanted to push forward with what I wanted. I didn¡¯t want Jayden, the boys from block seven, or any of the guys in college. I didn¡¯t like the pizza house manager, Marvin, and I didn¡¯t want Kieran, the guy in the kitchen who¡¯d been asking me out for months.


    I wanted him. The man upstairs.


    No matter how much I tried to deny it, I wanted him. And my fantasies had been getting filthier and filthier along with my books.


    He was in the living room doorway when he finally looked back at me, and his breaths were still fast. His eyes were hard and dark.


    ¡°You should get to bed,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ll just get you some water.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Even now, at the height of underlying tension, he was still trying to take care of me. He disappeared for a short while, then came back and presented me with a ss. He kept at arm¡¯s length, aiming for a casual smile that didn¡¯t match up with his stare.


    ¡°Goodnight, Rosie.¡±


    I didn¡¯t want to say goodnight to him, but the words came automatically.


    ¡°Goodnight, Julian. Thanks for rescuing me. Again.¡±

 Chapter 85

    He closed the living room door behind him as he went. My heart was racing, and my stomach was fluttering, and I dithered on the spot like an awkward teenager, even though I wanted more than anything to tell him I wasn¡¯t. I was an adult, not a little girl. I¡¯d been trying to behave like an adult my whole life  taking care of Mum as well as myself.


    I opted to take a shower since I still stank of the pizza house. He wasn¡¯t lying when he¡¯d said about the bar of soap and the shampoo. Both supermarket budgets, but I didn¡¯t care. I wondered what he was doing as I scrubbed myself. Was he thinking about me? I¡¯d deliberately avoided locking the bathroom door. On purpose. Just in case.


    The living room door was still closed tight when I headed back to his bedroom. I towel-dried my hair, still damp and naked when I opened his wardrobe. His selection of shirts were all white, and they smelt like abination of him and fabric softener. He had one more suit jacket hanging there, and a selection of colored ties. A few pairs of trousers, and one pair of jeans. A couple of token T-shirts, and a navy blue jumper. Nothing much.


    I opened the drawer at the bottom, too heady to avoid snooping. He had posh patterned socks and some boxers. Nothing major. But wait. There were some other things in there¡­ things I caught sight of as I fumbled through his socks¡­ what the


    Marker pens and rope. A strange ce to put them. And more. Three big dildos and a string full of beads. And some photos¡­ wow, fuck. Some actual printed-out photos of a girl with blonde hair, her hands bound up over her head. In that rope. A dark shade of red. I ran my fingers over it.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.


    She had slut scrawled on her chest in marker pen, and one of the dildos jammed tight in her pussy, and she can¡¯t have been much older than me.


    Neen, tops.


    Shit.


    I shouldn¡¯t be doing this.


    I stumbled backward, mming the drawer closed like an invader because I was one. I sat on the bed, still naked with my heart racing, feeling like I should be embarrassed, intimidated, or squicked out, but I wasn¡¯t any of those things. me it on romance novels, or imagination, or my dirty fantasies, but I was curious. More than curious. I was needy. Excited.


    I wanted to be the girl in that photo.


    I took a swig of water from the ss on the bedside table, and I thought through my options.


    It¡¯s not your mother I¡¯m going to be wanting, Rosie, it¡¯s you.


    Maybe this would be my only chance. Maybe after tonight, it would be eyes down in the hallway again for the rest of the time Julian didn¡¯t seem like he¡¯d be inviting me up here for coffee unless I needed him. I¡¯d likely get pushed away like my mother.


    Now or never¡­


    I could do this, or I could try to. I could seduce the man upstairs and behave like the girl in the photo. I could do it. I could be that girl. I¡¯d heard plenty of story heroines attempt it ande up trumps. Why not me?


    It¡¯s not your mother I¡¯m going to be wanting, Rosie, it¡¯s you.


    I hoped he¡¯d meant it. I hoped I dared to find out.


    I put on one of the shirts from his wardrobe, making sure I left a few buttons undone, and then I scooped my pizza uniform up into my arms, taking a breath as I headed in his direction. I pushed my sses up and closed my eyes as I opened the living room door. Now or never¡­


    He was sitting on the Chesterfield with his eyes on the nk TV screen, and a shot of whisky on the coffee table. His eyes were still dark as he looked my way, and he swallowed as I appeared before him.


    ¡°I was wondering if I¡¯d be able to do someundry. I¡¯ll need this outfit for my shift tomorrow.¡±


    He nodded. ¡°Of course, yes. I have a washer tumble dryer.¡±


    I knew that. I¡¯d seen it.


    He got to his feet, and I wished I was brave enough to look down at his crotch. I knew my nipples must be showing through his shirt fabric.


    ¡°Here, let me take that,¡± he said, and I handed him my bundle of clothes. ¡°I¡¯ll make sure I have them ready for you in the morning.¡±


    He didn¡¯t look at me. He wouldn¡¯t look at me. He disappeared into the kitchen, and I heard him working the washing machine. He waited there too long before reappearing, and I stood there like an idiot in one of his shirts, flushed pink and embarrassed as he sat back down again with nothing more than a smile.


    I guessed he didn¡¯t want me after all.


    For once, I got a taste of what my mum must be living in. Self-questioning. Self-doubt.


    Maybe I wasn¡¯t as good as the girl in the photo? Maybe after our conversation, I¡¯d put him off somehow. Was I too desperate? Too needy? Too stupid for a professor like him? Were my tits not big enough? Or was I too awkward?


    I didn¡¯t have the chance to ask him.


    ¡°Goodnight,¡± he said again, dismissing me with a wave.


    ¡°Goodnight,¡± I said, hating every step as I retreated.


    I threw myself t on the bed, cringing inside at my stupid attempt at seduction, and wished I¡¯d been better at it. More experienced like most of the girls at college. Damnit. I switched off themp and got under the covers. It made it even more embarrassing that they smelt like him.


    Ok, it was done. Over. I¡¯d made a goof up, and read him all wrong.


    Or had I?


    I heard footsteps outside in the hallway¡­ I heard them stop dead.


    Was he out there? Really? Was he outside the bedroom door? My heart thumped like crazy, tingles all over me, because he was there, outside in the hall¡­ Maybe¡­ just maybe¡­


    I held my breath.


    Please, PLEASE.


    I prayed he¡¯de in¡­


    But no. I heard more footsteps and the bathroom door close behind him.


    ¡°Goodnight,¡± I said to no one, feeling like the biggest fool on earth.

 Chapter 86

    JULIAN


    Some promises to yourself are hard to keep, even while bearing A huge, foul cross on your back. The snakes had been awakening and twisting in my stomach, and my pulse had been desperate as I¡¯d shoved her clothes into the washer and dryer. Clothes that smelled of her sweetness. If she¡¯d have been close enough, I¡¯m certain Rosie would have felt the heat from me. Being in a room next to a barely clothed little angel was almost more than an addict like me could take.


    I repeated my confession to myself.


    I, Julian Lockley, am a sex addict, who likes the degradation of barely legal girls.


    Rosie was sweeter and much more innocent than any of the others. A girl from a broken home, with a mother struggling with her self-hating battle and a man who couldn¡¯t be trusted with his fists. Sweet Rosie didn¡¯t need a sexual deviant adding to her burdens. I told myself she was vulnerable. I could never take advantage of that.


    Even so, I almost crumbled.


    She¡¯d been in the bedroom for a few long minutes by the time my senses began to consume me. Her nipples had been tiny bullets under the damp cling of my shirt on her. I¡¯d seen the shape of her pert little tits and the soft slope of her stomach, and I knew there was a perfect little pussy under there, waiting. The look in her searching eyes showed the ubiquitous kind of curiosity I¡¯d been taking advantage of for years. I could almost taste the intrigue there, as though she was sensing the dark needs in my psyche. Spirit meets soul  the archetypal myth of romantic legends. But my spirit was seedy and disgusting, Rosie¡¯s soul was pure and innocent, fit for a storybook princess. She was a Cindere. Shame I wasn¡¯t a Prince Charming.


    My version of the story wouldn¡¯t be fit for schoolyard reading, that was for certain.


    Who knew? Maybe if I¡¯d written erotic fairytales of sweet little virgins back in my 80s heyday, I¡¯d be a bestseller by now. Agents may have leaped all over it, as opposed to my overdramatized historical thrillers.


    I imagined Rosie under the covers in my bedroom, contemting what kind of sicko lived under the surface of a man like me. It was so tempting to show her. So tempting to ease the door open for a nce. The craving called. Teasing. My feet moved slowly, responding. I knew she¡¯d invite me in there if I showed my interest.


    I paused outside the bedroom, fighting my demons with my hand on the handle. It would be so easy to press down and push it open. So, so, so fucking easy. My fingers gripped, and my cock ached, and I could feel my filthy pulse in my temples. The thought of her untouched skin was enough to scorch me, and my world was filling with her.


    Infatuation is very dangerous territory, and I¡¯d been battling it for weeks now, ever since she¡¯d knocked on my door  a desperate victim. A girl needs a savior.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    But Rosie needed a true hero, not a dirty, filthy viin like me. I was hammering that truth into my brain over and over, praying the weight of morality held at least a shred of power.


    That was the thought that made me wrench my hand away from the door handle and veer away into the bathroom. The girl was not mine to y with. She was not mine to use. She was nothing more than an innocent little flower, curious in her nasty world of hurt. This godawful ce didn¡¯t deserve her presence, and neither did I.


    I needed to get the lust out of my system.


    I was frantic as I worked my cock at the sink, desperately whizzing through memories of other young girls I¡¯d fucked through the years. Grace¡¯s friends, and the first few little flings I¡¯d had with pretty princesses at college. So many memories used to drive me insane, but they were now nothing more than masturbation fodder. They¡¯d all begun to merge into one long stream of debauchery, only there was one vision I couldn¡¯t keep out of them tonight¡­


    The poor little creature in my bedroom kept spearing my senses. It was her I was thinking about when my cum spurted from my dick in three long streams. Her pert little tits I was marking as I came. Her tight little pussy I was pounding as I whacked the hell out of my cock and spurted everyst drop.


    Fuck, it was divine.


    She was divine.


    The release brought me a little closer to my senses. I calmed myself down and talked some logic into myself. I was back. In the bathroom. In this cesspit, refocusing on my reason for being there.


    Thank fuck I¡¯d resisted the temptation.


    I stripped off and got in the shower, realizing all over again just what a piss-poor existence I was inhabiting. It was nothing more than self-inflicted punishment, which would be very, very justified if only there wasn¡¯t a girl in the room next door relying on my goodwill.


    My daughter, Grace, used to have at least ten different hair products cluttering up the bathroom cab at any one time. Everything from shampoos and conditioners to hair masks, to serums, to hell knows what else. We had a broader selection of teas and coffees in our kitchen than most local coffee houses, and always had a fresh bowl of fruit overflowing on the side. And as for the furniture, my wife had an incredibly high bar for quality. She wouldn¡¯t so much as sully her ass by taking a seat on the Chesterfield in my living room.


    I only wished I had a small selection of the things here that I used to take for granted. For Rosie, not for me.


    I was in the bathroom long enough to be optimistic that she¡¯d be asleep when I got out of there. I wrapped myself in my bathrobe and was about to leave but good sense prevailed for once. Walking around in just a bathrobe in the presence of the angel of temptation would most certainly be a recipe for disaster. I pulled my boxers and suit pants back on, along with my shirt, and left the bathrobe hanging on the back of the door, patting myself on the back before I stepped out of there. I pressed my ear to the bedroom door and heard nothing, hoping she was managing to rest at least a little in this ce. She¡¯d need her strength for another long day on her feet tomorrow. I knew her schedule. I¡¯d been trying to avoid it for long enough.


    My sleep was unlikely to bless me this evening, so I resorted to TV as Iy on the sofa, interspersed with cigarettes by the window. The washing machine was working its magic in the background, and I kept the sound down low on the TV. I must have managed to doze for a few hours when I opened my eyes to the hint of dawn. I lit my first cigarette of the day out of my window, and this time I made sure it was open to its fullest, leaning out as far as I could go. I didn¡¯t want the smell tainting Rosie¡¯s work clothes.


    Her uniform was clean and folded for her on the arm of the sofa when she appeared in the living room at just eight. Her eyes opened wide at the sight. Her hair was wavy and ruffled, and her eyes were still sleepy as she found me there. I got another horrific pang of need. She appeared even more beautiful than usual. She was the personification of temptation itself. A goddess that could be soiled by lust.


    ¡°What time is your shift?¡± I asked her, and she folded her arms across her chest, shyly self-conscious in the cold light of day.


    ¡°I start at nine-thirty to get the kitchens ready. I need to leave at nine.¡±


    I pointed to her clothes. ¡°All ready for you.¡± Her smile was so grateful it took me aback.


    ¡°Yeah, I saw. Thank you. That¡¯s amazing.¡±


    I turned to the kitchen. ¡°I only have toast for breakfast, I¡¯m afraid. I haven¡¯t been shopping yet.¡±


    She caught me up as I reached the toaster, still smiling, still grateful, still in my shirt.


    ¡°Toast is awesome.¡±


    I smirked as I got the bread ready. ¡°Hardlyparable to your delicious pizza slicesst night. I have a lot to make up for.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll bring you more next time. You¡¯ll have to give me your menu choices. And I¡¯ll do you a stuffed crust. How about that?¡±


    Next time.


    I didn¡¯t respond.


    The toaster popped up the crappy white toast and I thered cheap spreadable butter on for her. You¡¯d think I was a Michelin-starred chef by the way she gave an mmm as she tucked in. I scoffed at that.


    ¡°Steady on with thepliments. They aren¡¯t at all warranted.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s great,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯s always nice to be treated.¡±


    ¡°Even if it tastes like garbage?¡±


    Sheughed as I flicked the kettle on.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t!¡±


    Iughed back. ¡°If you believe that that is good toast, then I¡¯m going to have to re-educate you. Your bar is way too low.¡±


    For a moment I felt a strange flicker of something I¡¯d long since forgotten. Fun. The sparkle in her eyes was alive, and her giggle was addictive.


    ¡°Another slice?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Yes, please.¡±

 Chapter 87

    I didn¡¯t feel the need to hide the teabags from her this time. She would already be well aware of how budgeted they were. I dumped in an unhealthy amount of sugar and a ssh of milk and handed her cup over.


    ¡°You are being spoiled this morning, Rosie.¡±


    ¡°Joke all you want,¡± she said as I buttered a fresh slice of toast. ¡°But this is being spoiled for me. I could count the times I¡¯ve had breakfast made for me on one hand.¡±


    ¡°Even when you were a child? Surely you were graced with morning toast back then?¡±


    She dropped her eyes. ¡°Mum workedte shifts. She was usually in bed. I made cereals mostly. So many times I ended up sweeping them up with a dustpan! I was so clumsy I¡¯d drop the box all over the floor.¡±


    ¡°Tiny hands couldn¡¯t handle it?¡±


    She nodded. ¡°Yeah. Luckily they got bigger, and my idents got smaller. I used to have to stand on a chair to reach the box from the cupboard when I was in primary school, but I got taller. Eventually.¡±


    On seeing the sweet, genuine look on her face, I was assaulted by another weird flicker. The need to provide. I wished I had an orange juice to offer as she finished up her tea, which seemed to be a strange thought to have, but there you go.


    ¡°I should get ready,¡± she said, and I checked the time on the oven clock.


    ¡°Yes, you should.¡±


    She brushed off her crumbs in the kitchen bin and turned on the tap to wash up her te, but I took it from her.


    ¡°No, no,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ll clear up. You get dressed.¡±


    No arms folded across her chest this time. I couldn¡¯t help but see the points of her nipples.


    She stood there forever before giving me another thank you.


    I turned away, d that I¡¯d done so first, cursing my swelling dick. And I didn¡¯t know quite how to react when she reappeared ready to leave for work a few minutester, with her cap on her head and her tattered pink bag on her shoulder. Neither did she, it seemed. We both stood, staring, neither of us quite sure what to say.


    The deviant part of me still wanted to tear her clothes off. The protective part of me wanted to drive her down to work like a parent dropping their child off at school.


    ¡°I¡¯d better go,¡± she said.


    ¡°Yes,¡± I said.


    ¡°I guess I¡¯ll see you around. Maybe I¡¯ll drop in that pizza sometime.¡±


    Iughed an emptyugh. ¡°Yes. Stuffed crust please.¡±


    She¡¯d reached the front door when I called her back.


    ¡°Rosie, wait.¡±


    She did wait. Eagerly.


    I stepped up close and put my hand on the door above her head to convey my seriousness. She was like a little fairy as I looked down at her.


    ¡°If that violent prick causes you any more problems, please make sure you call the police, regardless of what your mother tells you. She¡¯s in too deep to see straight, but you aren¡¯t.¡±


    She nodded, looking weirdly disappointed.


    ¡°Yeah, I will do. Thanks.¡±


    I didn¡¯t move my hand away from the door.


    ¡°I mean it.¡± I paused, wishing I¡¯d retreat and forget about it. ¡°Please, keep me informed. You know where my door is.¡±


    ¡°Thanks,¡± she said again.


    Shit, I shouldn¡¯t be doing this. I pulled away. I let her go.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    I hated how my heart thumped at the sound of her footsteps walking away along the empty corridor outside.


    Fuck it.


    I lit up another cigarette and watched her bob along the street on her way to work. She still had a spring in her step. I was still smoking as she turned the corner, and then I lit up another as I thought the evening through.


    It had been close to disaster, almost more than I could bear.


    Yet there was a tiny light at the end of a very dark tunnel because if Rosie was going to be visiting me again in moments of need, I¡¯d have to make sure I was stocked up for it. She deserved that much, even if I didn¡¯t.


    I headed for my wardrobe, taken aback when I reached the bedroom door. The bedsheets were made immactely. She¡¯d folded down the corner like she had been in a five-star hotel. My shirt was hanging neatly on a hanger on the wardrobe door, and my t pillows wereid even and smoothed out.


    It was clear she¡¯d most definitely been grateful. There was a folded-up note on the bedside table. The back of a corner shop receipt. Her handwriting was a pretty scrawl.


    Thank you. I had nowhere to go. x


    Neither did I, usually. I was normally in a self-contained pit, with barely any outside contact. I rarely spoke to my work colleagues unless we crossed paths by the photocopier.


    Today I did have somewhere to go, though.


    I picked a virtually identical suit as yesterday¡¯s. Another pair of ck trousers with another striped tie, and I did the unthinkable, even though it was teetering on the edge of uneptable to my rational brain. I used the shirt Rosie had worn in bedst night, inhaling her sweet scent as I buttoned it up in the mirror. I made sure my tie was straight, and I made sure to give myself a fresh berating as I pocketed my wallet and set out for Worcester city center.


    This shirt would be the closest I ever came to that girl. That¡¯s what I told myself.


    Maybe this time, for once in the past decade, I wouldn¡¯t be lying.

 Chapter 88

    ROSIE


    Julian¡¯s fabric softener had a different smell to ours.vender, I think. I kept catching the scent of it as I dashed around the kitchen. It distracted me. I wasn¡¯t up to my usual form.


    ¡°Rosie!¡± Kieran said. ¡°Get with it. The two stuffed crusts need taking out!¡± Stuffed crust.


    I was right back in Julian¡¯s kitchen, staring into his bright green eyes. I was going out of my mind. All I could think about was him.


    Saturdays were always busy. I was exhausted when I reached the end of the day shift and grabbed my bag from the staffroom. It was raining outside when I walked home, so I hit my bedroom as soon as I was through the door, ignoring Mum in the kitchen since she was busyughing on the phone.


    I stripped off my uniform and ditched it for something dry and cozy  my favorites  some PJ bottoms and a faded t-shirt with a cartoon kitten on. Mum was still chatting away when I went in to make myself a cup of tea. For once, I didn¡¯t make her one. She ended her call with a catch you soon. Eight, right?


    I knew from her giggle that she was talking to Scottie as she said goodbye.


    ¡°He¡¯sing over again, then?¡± I asked.


    She looked almost sheepish, even though she was still grinning.


    ¡°Things are a lot better between us. He¡¯s learned from his mistakes. And I¡¯ve learned from mine, too.¡±


    I could have shaken her in an attempt to make her see sense, but there would be no point. I could have screeched and screamed that he was still the loser he always was, and one stupid night of hanging out in the living room didn¡¯t change a thing, but I¡¯d tried that plenty of times before.


    ¡°Fine,¡± I said, and she almost jolted back, surprised.


    ¡°You¡¯re ok with it?¡±


    I scoffed. ¡°As if. But what difference would it make?¡±


    ¡°He has changed this time.¡±


    ¡°Like every time. Sure.¡±


    ¡°You can ask him about it yourselfter. He wants to see you. He wants to tell you himself.¡±


    I was ring when I looked at her. ¡°I have nothing to say, other than the fact I hate him and wish he¡¯d fuck off and nevere back.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a bit harsh.¡±


    ¡°A bit harsh? He nearly fucking killed you!¡±


    She fiddled with some tes on the side, silent.


    ¡°I mean it, Mum. I don¡¯t want to see him. He can fuck off!¡±


    She sighed. ¡°Jayden has been working through things with him, you know. He¡¯s getting anger management therapy. He¡¯s already been to the doctor¡¯s about it.¡±


    ¡°Sure he has. Like always. He¡¯s a liar.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s trying, Rosie. We all are!¡±


    I could have thrown my cup of tea across the room.


    ¡°He¡¯s not trying! He never does. He¡¯s full of shit, and you know it. He knows it. Jayden knows it. We ALL know it, but one bunch of shitty flowers and some love talk makes it all ok!¡±


    I took a breath and tried to calm myself down. She was getting upset, and I reminded myself that Scottie was a piece of shit. Not her. Mum was someone caught up in his lies and bullshit, desperate for someone to love her. She always had been, since her parents threw her out at seventeen after finding out she was pregnant. In her world, she was unlovable. In her universe, she was a failure who should take Scottie¡¯s love at any cost. Sometimes I got so angry that I wished he¡¯d get hit by a car when he was stumbling, drunk along the roadside. If only I was loaded enough to pay a hitman to finish him off, and then whisk Mum out of this ce, to somewhere great and happy, with an unlimited amount of therapy to help her work on her self-esteem. She deserved so much more than this shithole.


    Mum changed the subject, looking at me as I sipped at my tea.


    ¡°Where did you gost night? Trisha said you didn¡¯t show up at hers.¡±


    ¡°Oh. So she was expecting me, then? She¡¯d have probably seen me if she¡¯d have opened her front door and shot so much as a nce outside. I spent hours sitting out there, in the corridor, waiting for you to let me back in.¡±


    She looked like I¡¯d stabbed her.


    ¡°You could have gone to Trisha¡¯s, or Jayden¡¯s! You could have gone out with your work friends, too. They usually head out on a Friday.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to. I wanted toe home.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she said. ¡°I knew you wouldn¡¯t want to be here, though. Not around Scottie. I know you struggle at first.¡±This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    ¡°Thanks for the consideration.¡±


    I needed to stop with the sarcasm. I closed my eyes, trying to center myself. I cursed under my breath. I hated this shit.


    ¡°Where did you go?¡± she asked again. ¡°You weren¡¯t there at two. I checked.¡±


    ¡°Why do you care now? You didn¡¯t carest night!¡± I could feel myself getting upset, and I didn¡¯t want that. I wanted to keep my hurt away from Mum. ¡°Forget about it. I¡¯m going to listen to my book for a bit. Catch youter.¡±


    She didn¡¯t bother fighting me.


    ¡°Scottie¡¯sing over at eight.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I heard. Can¡¯t wait.¡±


    I was so angry that I thumped a pillow when I flopped onto my bed. My head was spinning, and I hated this shithole, and I wanted to punch Scottie in the face for even daring toe back. I wished I was strong enough to do it, but he¡¯dugh in my face. I couldn¡¯t even pull him off her during a chokehold, so I wasn¡¯t going to be able to kick him to the floor.


    I tried listening to my book to kill the chatter in my head, but even though I sought out an especially filthy age-gap professor novel, it didn¡¯tbat the rage I felt about Scottie being back in Mum¡¯s life. The minutes turned into hours, slowly, and eight p. m. must have arrived. I felt the thump of the front door closing. The asshole was here.


    I fought as hard as I could but by 10 p. m. I was desperate for the toilet, so had no choice but to show my face out there. Scottie jumped on the opportunity as soon as he saw me, already chilling out on the sofa like he owned the ce.


    ¡°Hey, Rosie, you alright?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I said and walked straight on into the bathroom.


    I took my time, determined to return to my bedroom and stay there right through until morning unless Mum was screaming her head off. I took a shower, with my coconut shampoo and my foam body wash, then got back into my PJs, teeth brushed, and ready for bed. I only needed a simple ss of water from the kitchen. I¡¯d munched on enough garlic bread and sd through my shift that I didn¡¯t need any dinner.


    ¡°Scottie wants to talk to you,¡± Mum said as I marched past them.


    My re must have been cold enough to burn.


    ¡°I don¡¯t give a fuck what Scottie wants,¡± I told her, then looked at him with a hateful sneer. ¡°I promise you, you piece of shit, if youy your hands on my mum again, I¡¯m going to call the police. I don¡¯t care how much she denies it, and I don¡¯t care how much you try to squirm out of it with garage flowers and promises. Next time, I¡¯m going to make sure I get pictures of you on my phone, and I¡¯m going to push and push until you get what you deserve.¡±


    His face turned sour. ¡°I¡¯ve changed, Rosie.¡±


    ¡°BULLSHIT!¡± I yelled. ¡°You¡¯re a vile piece of shit, who likes hurting my mum! That doesn¡¯t ever change!¡±


    Even now, in his, I¡¯m so sorry phase, he didn¡¯t show any kind of true remorse. He looked like he wanted to rip my heart out. Part of me wished he would, just so I could go after him for real, with bruises on me and not on my mother. There would be no chance of denial then. I¡¯d have the evidence on myself.


    I don¡¯t know if there was something different in the way I held myself as I stood there this time around. If there was more fire in my eyes, or I was at the point where I genuinely had reached my limits, once and for all. I didn¡¯t know what was truly behind it, but something had shifted inside me. Who knows? Maybe it was someone upstairs who gave a fuck about me for once, and who¡¯d given a true fuck about my mum. Contrast can be a powerful thing.


    Whatever it was, Scottie picked up on it. He straightened in his seat, but he met my stare with a darkness of his own. ¡°I don¡¯t like hurting your mum, Rosie.¡±


    He was holding his words back in front of her. I knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to threaten me back and call me the names he called her, and likely crush my throat like he wanted to crush hers in one of his rages, but I didn¡¯t give a shit. The blood was pumping in my veins.


    ¡°You¡¯re pathetic,¡± I told him. ¡°You know that? You¡¯re pathetic. You only want to fight people smaller than you, which is virtually nobody, you wimpy little shithead.¡±


    ¡°Rosie!¡± Mum said like I was the one who¡¯d broken the boundary.


    I didn¡¯t break my stare, wishing I could shoot daggers from my eyes.


    ¡°You¡¯re pathetic,¡± I told him again. ¡°And one day you¡¯re going to pay for it. I can¡¯t wait until you rot in hell!¡±


    I didn¡¯t hang around at that. I turned and walked away, mming my bedroom door behind me and putting my water on the bedside table with shaking hands.


    I hid under the bedcovers as the world spun around me, feeling more frantic this time. Closer to breaking. Again, maybe it was contrast. Seeing the care in someone¡¯s eyes as they rescued me from the cold, hard floor outside¡­

 Chapter 89

    Music came on from the living room, and I was sure their second kiss and make-up session was underway. Mum would be safe tonight, while Scottie was in the love you forever mode, but I was still burning up. I must have tossed and turned for hours, still only half asleep when the music turned off. They wereughing together as they passed my bedroom door to get to hers. I sighed as I put my earbuds back in so I couldn¡¯t hear any more from them. The thought of him touching her made me feel sick.


    My earbuds must have been the reason I didn¡¯t hear my door openter. I was lying asleep with them still in when I felt the presence of someone in my room. I tugged them out, eyes frantic. The room was dark and quiet, but I could still see him there, standing right next to my bed. The orange light through the curtains made him look even more nasty than usual.


    The terror I felt was so intense it was electric. I wanted to scrabble, bolt, and run, but I couldn¡¯t. He moved before I had the chance to, pinning me down with a hand over my mouth. I could hear his breaths up close. Feel them in my face.


    ¡°Don¡¯t even think about screaming,¡± he said. ¡°It won¡¯t end well for anyone if you do, you get me?¡±


    I nodded in shock under his hand, unsure of what the hell else to do. He took his hand away, and it took everything I had not to screech the ce down. I tried to squirm away, but it didn¡¯t work. He had me tight.


    ¡°Still think I¡¯m so fucking weak, do you? You even think of taking photos of me and showing them to the police and I¡¯ll fuck you up bad.¡±


    Yeah, it was true. He knew I¡¯d been serious earlier. Something had changed in me.


    And changed in him, too¡­


    I stayed silent, twisted up in fear. His breaths were fierce in my face.


    ¡°Your mother won¡¯t back you up if ites to it, you know that? If you try to cause shit, it¡¯s my side she¡¯ll take, not yours.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s bullshit,¡± I said, but heughed a nasty, quietugh.


    ¡°Like fuck it is. You¡¯d better tone down the shitty attitude, or you¡¯ll get worse than she does. You understand me?¡±


    There were so many things I wanted to shout and scream, but he was deadly serious. He meant it. His words were more ominous than I¡¯d ever known. This wasn¡¯t the throes of rage where things red up in horrendous arguments, this was cold, calcted. True.


    It gave me shivers.This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    ¡°Good,¡± he said. ¡°You¡¯ve got the fucking message.¡±


    I gasped but didn¡¯t move as he pulled away and got back to his feet. He stepped backward without giving a shit about what I might do to him, knowing I was too terrified to do a thing. For Mum¡¯s sake, as well as mine. He was right. Scottie would weave his sick magic with her, and she¡¯d stand by him. She was too delusional to do anything else.


    He didn¡¯t close my door behind him, leaving it slightly ajar. I heard a token flush of the toilet to excuse his bedroom exit, and then I heard the mumble of voices as he got back into their room. Mum would have no idea what was happening here, and if I told her¡­ if she knew what he¡¯d just done¡­


    It would go one way or another, and both of them had terrifying oues. We¡¯d be dragged down to hell along with him.


    I scrabbled for my phone from under the covers, urges pumping to call the police, but what could I tell them? Scottie would deny it, and he¡¯d make me pay, and make Mum pay, too. I could have called Trisha, but she¡¯d stay out of it when it mattered. She¡¯d rather y ignorant than get caught up in this mess. Jayden wouldn¡¯t condemn his dad. So it was just me, alone in the terror. The rage and panic turned to hurt and tears, and I felt myself breaking, giving up for once in my life. Finally.


    My strength left. Years of trying my best to keep myself together and stay strong fell away, and I was the little girl I¡¯d left behind when I was young. I was nothing but a tiny ball of tears under the bedcovers as I realized just how trapped we were in the wheel of abuse.


    Iid there awhile, still hiding, shaking, listening to them,ughing, moaning, grunting. The vile piece of shit was fucking her, using and abusing her and there was fuck all I could do about it. There was no way I¡¯d get back to sleep, and he would be there in the morning, ying happy families with Mum, who¡¯d be oblivious. I worked evening shifts on a Sunday, and Scottie wouldn¡¯t be back at the construction yard until early Monday, so I¡¯d be fucked, unable to avoid him. I got another bout of the shivers because I couldn¡¯t do it. I¡¯d never be able to keep it together in front of him, not after tonight.


    It was three a. m. when I checked the time on my phone. I was on autopilot, shaking as I put the torch app on, not wanting to light up the room with my bedsidemp. I was as quiet as I could be as I opened my rucksack and piled my work clothes in with my shoes. I took each step slowly and silently as I crept out into the hall. Please, God, don¡¯t let him hear me.


    I held my breath when I reached the door and slid the bolt open. I turned the handle as softly as I could, my pulse thumping as I stepped outside and closed the door gently behind me. The corridormp was flickering low as I dashed up the stairs, still in my PJs. I pressed my head against the door to number six before I dared to knock, just a soft tap of my knuckles. I had to take a deep breath before I knocked again, louder.


    Please.


    I tapped again, a stato of raps, hoping he would hear me. I figured he¡¯d be in bed and I¡¯d be left out here, alone, but no. I heard footsteps and thetch clicked, and then the door swung open. A haggard Julian, still in his suit.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said with my rucksack on my shoulder. ¡°I didn¡¯t have anywhere else to go.¡±

 Chapter 90

    My cheeks must have been blotchy from tears when he let me in and through to the living room. I sat down on his sofa and tossed my bag onto the floor, crumpling over with my elbows on my knees as I tried topose myself. He was right there beside me, kneeling on the floor, but he didn¡¯t put his hands on me, just waited.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said again. ¡°I just¡­ I couldn¡¯t stay there¡­¡±


    ¡°What happened? Did he hurt you?¡±


    The tears kepting, silent as I struggled for breath.


    ¡°He, um¡­ no. He didn¡¯t hit me or anything¡­ he just¡­¡±


    ¡°Did he hurt your mother?¡±


    ¡°No. She¡¯s still loved up, and she doesn¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯t know what? What did he do to you, Rosie?¡±


    Time for honesty. I caught my breath before I spoke.


    ¡°I threatened him. I told him that next time I¡¯d go to the police, no matter what, and I¡¯d catch him on camera, and I¡¯d tell them, and I wouldn¡¯t let it go.¡±


    ¡°Good. And then what happened?¡±


    ¡°I called him weak, and then I went to bed. I thought that was it. I put my earbuds in, so I couldn¡¯t hear them, and I went to sleep, but then¡­¡± I struggled to speak. ¡°He came in, in the dark. He pinned me down and told me that he¡¯d make me pay if I did anything like that. He said he¡¯d fuck us both up, me and Mum, and he means it. I know he means it. But I don¡¯t know what to do.¡±


    With that, it all copsed and the sobs came. I always tried to stay strong, always, but I couldn¡¯t hold it back. Years of fear and hurt spilled over and caught me in its grip, but so did Julian. He sat next to me on the sofa and he pulled me into his arms and held me tight.


    He didn¡¯t rush me, or try to get me to speak some more, just rocked me gently, cradling my head against his chest, and it felt like everything I¡¯d never had. Comfort. Strength. Care.


    ¡°It¡¯s ok,¡± he told me, and for once I believed it. ¡°I¡¯m going to make sure it¡¯s ok. You¡¯re safe now.¡±


    I kept crying, letting it flow free, and it was beautiful to let the fear loose, without a mask disguising it. Scottie was too dangerous for me to handle. I¡¯d tried a thousand times and tried with Mum too, but I couldn¡¯t make it work. I couldn¡¯t.


    I pulled away when I had enoughposure to get some words out.


    ¡°Are you going to call the police? He¡¯ll deny it.¡±


    Julian shook his head, his hands on mine, squeezing.


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to worry about what I¡¯m going to do, Rosie. Just trust me. I¡¯m going to make sure it¡¯s ok.¡±


    I nodded, managing a smile.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    It was when I leaned back on the sofa that I realized there were cushions behind me. I shifted so I could see them. Their beige and gold brocade brought out the tone of the tattered leather.


    ¡°Let me go and get you a drink,¡± Julian said and got to his feet. ¡°What would you like? Tea? Coffee? Orange juice? I have some cordials, too.¡±


    It seems a lovely set of cushions wasn¡¯t the only thing he¡¯d bought today.


    ¡°Orange juice would be great, please.¡±


    I took another look at the cushions when he disappeared into the kitchen. They were gorgeous. He had a newmp too, standing tall in the corner. Its brass frame was elegant, and the shade was rich and red.


    ¡°Here you go,¡± he said as he returned with my drink.


    The juice was lovely. One of the ones with juicy bits in. I smiled after I¡¯d taken a decent swig.


    ¡°Seriously, Julian. I¡¯m sorry I came up here. This isn¡¯t your problem.¡±


    ¡°On the contrary,¡± he told me. ¡°I¡¯m very d you did. This is very much my problem now, and I assure you I¡¯m going to remedy it.¡±


    He sounded so strong.


    He smiled as he looked down at my PJs. I was in fluffy socks with no shoes.


    ¡°At least you¡¯re ready for bed.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m going to be getting any sleep, somehow.¡±


    ¡°I think you should try anyway,¡± he told me. ¡°Some rest will do you good. You can sleep soundly here.¡±


    We sat in the mostfortable silence I¡¯d ever known. I didn¡¯t feel panic or despair. I felt exposed in my utter rawness, and there was a sense of relief in it that defied all logic. All fear.


    ¡°It¡¯s going to be ok,¡± Julian told me again, and I believed him.


    It was heaven.


    He got up and held out a hand. I got a buzz, almost like static as I took hold of it. He led me through to his bedroom and I almost gasped out loud at the sight before me.


    He had new bedding, pristine white cotton like the kind in hotels. He had new pillows, too. Four of them looked big and fluffed up.


    He folded back the sheets for me.


    ¡°Please, try to sleep, Rosie. Nothing can hurt you here.¡±


    I guess the copse of emotions had taken it out of me because my body defied the whirr of my brain. I was exhausted. It felt so natural to do what he instructed. He smiled down at me as I slipped under the bedcovers, but then he retreated to the doorway.


    ¡°Sleep in as long as you want. I know you don¡¯t have work until the evening.¡± His eyes were so warm. ¡°Sleep all afternoon if you want to. I¡¯ll be out here whenever you need me.¡±


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I said again, for the thousandth time.


    ¡°You can thank me by resting up,¡± he replied. ¡°You need it.¡±


    I needed him, too.


    My soul screamed as he flicked off the light and closed the door behind him because I was desperate. I wanted more than anything for him to stay, and slide into bed with me and hold me tight. I wanted to feel him pressed against me. I wanted to hold him back.


    I wanted to kiss him. And touch him. And feel his hands on me in return.


    But that wasn¡¯t going to happen  not even if I was damp, in one of his shirts, with my nipples on disy.


    So, I¡¯d have to make do in his bed without him.


    Sleep was easier than I expected on suchfortable pillows. I was already drifting off as I rolled onto my side.This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

 Chapter 91

    ROSIE


    I always took as many pizza shifts as I could around college, feeling way more secure when a semi-decent amount of cashnded in my ount at the end of every month, but when I woke up that morning  sorry, afternoon  cozy in Julian¡¯s new bedding, I didn¡¯t want to leave.


    I was still in my PJs when I reached my savior¡¯s living room, quiet as I crept in far enough to see him snoozing on the sofa. He had one of his new pillows under his head, but he was still in his suit, with no nket to keep him warm, just his jacket draped over him. Such a contrast to the luxury he¡¯d put me in.


    I got tickles in my stomach as I remembered how good it had felt in his arms as I cried. Oh, how I¡¯d love to squeeze up to him on the Chesterfield and feel his arm draped over me, but even more, how I¡¯d love to take his hand and pull him into his bedroom. And then what? Cuddle up to him? Snuggle up tight? Or more¡­?


    The clench of my thighs gave me the answer.


    I took a breath, still staring at him.


    My emotions were calmer in the light, resigned to Scottie being back with Mum. The fear was still there though, lurking in the shadows, but Julian¡¯s sleeping face had me transfixed.


    Things would be ok. He¡¯d told me so. I didn¡¯t know how, when, or why Julian would help me solve the situation, but I knew he would.


    Relief was a beautiful thing  something I wasn¡¯t usually blessed with.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    I didn¡¯t want to disturb my sleeping hero just yet, so I backed away.


    I grabbed my clothes for the day, and I helped myself to a towel from the shelf in his wardrobe, caught up in a fresh round of flutters at the sight of the closed drawer underneath them. I could recall the dirty pictures and the filthy toys thaty hidden in there with perfect vision. My curiosity was growing, not waning, and my need for Julian  the filthy man upstairs  was hyping up on overdrive¡­ hence why once again I didn¡¯t lock the bathroom door behind me, just in case.


    I couldn¡¯t hold back a grin when I pulled back the shower curtain, because woah, oh my God. There was no way Julian needed the bottles of coconut shampoo and conditioner that had appeared on the shelf, and he didn¡¯t need the three-minute hair mask. Somehow, I also struggled to imagine him using bubble gum-scented body wash, but there they all were  lined up on the rack that had previously been empty.


    I stripped off my PJs, and stepped under the flow, examining the bottles one by one as I used them. They were great, and my hair felt fresh and smooth as I washed it clean. He¡¯d picked well for me.


    I was still in there when a knock came at the bathroom door. I almost leaped out of my skin as Julian¡¯s voice sounded out, loud enough to hear over the water.


    ¡°I bought a spare toothbrush, just in case you needed one. It¡¯s in the drawer under the sink.¡±


    What else could I say, other than a meek little thank you? I couldn¡¯t exactly wrench the door off its hinges and pull him into my arms with frantic kisses of gratitude.


    Or could I?


    Maybe other girls would do¡­


    I got out of the shower as quickly as I could, d to use the new toothbrush. I was dressed, looking at least semi-human again when I found Julian in the kitchen. He was watching me as I carried on toweling my hair dry.


    ¡°How did you know I like coconut?¡± I asked, and he looked over at me with a smirk.


    ¡°Your hair usually smells of coconut. It was an easy choice.¡±


    I nodded. ¡°Yeah, I love coconut.¡±


    ¡°Excellent. My choices were warranted.¡±


    I kept toweling my hair. ¡°What scents do you like? For yourself?¡±


    ¡°Maybe you¡¯ll find out someday if I buy myself some cologne.¡±


    ¡°Are you going to?¡±


    He flicked the kettle on. There were already two mugs on the counter.


    ¡°I don¡¯t feel quite so warranted in providing for myself as I do for other people.¡± He put teabags in the mugs.


    ¡°You don¡¯t smell bad at all,¡± I told him, but heughed as he poured the boiling water.


    ¡°I¡¯m well aware that I smell of cigarette smoke, Rosie. It isn¡¯t something most people find all that¡­ enticing.¡±


    Enticing. I wondered if he meant his choice of words.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind it,¡± I said. ¡°I like the way you smell.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s see if you maintain that if and when you have the scent of cologne topare it with. I think you may be surprised by the difference.¡±


    He spooned me two sugars.


    I don¡¯t think I¡¯d ever smelt cologne on someone before. I was used to cigarette smoke and mainstream deodorant. No big deal.


    I finished toweling my hair as he sshed the milk into our drinks.


    ¡°Where shall I put this?¡± I asked, with the towel in my hands.


    He shrugged. ¡°That depends on if you¡¯re nning on using it again. If you are, then feel free to drape it to dry. If not, please put it into the washing machine.¡±


    I hung it straight over the door, without a second¡¯s pause. His words struck me. How could they not? If I was nning on using it again, then he expected me here¡­ and if he expected me here, then I¡¯d be around him¡­ and if I was around him and what he¡¯d meant at the door that night was true, then¡­


    ¡°You look lost in thought,¡± he said, handing me my tea. He leaned back against the counter, his bright green eyes on mine as he carried on talking. ¡°You needn¡¯t be worried. I meant what I said. You are safe here, and you¡¯re not on your own as you battle your predicament. Not any longer.¡±


    That wasn¡¯t where my mind was at, though. It was on him, and the way his tie fell, and the unkempt salt and pepper of his hair. His perfect-toothed smile, and his natural calmness, even in these circumstances. And then my mind whirred through some more, at lightning speed. Through the things I¡¯d stumbled across in his wardrobe drawer, and the heat between my thighs, all my fantasies spinning in me. I couldn¡¯t fight it, and I didn¡¯t want to. My senses were running insane.

 Chapter 92

    Almost all of my life I¡¯d been a shrinking violet, too scared of pushing boundaries to get what I wanted, but another look into Julian¡¯s gorgeous green eyes that morning had me desperate. For once I needed to pluck up the courage to be daring. To be risque. To be¡­ sexy.


    I¡¯d heard about it a thousand times over, from book heroines. I¡¯d seen it in Mum, in person. The way she¡¯d smile and flutter her eyes. The way she¡¯d positioned herself for Scottie was a promise of whaty ahead in the bedroom. So, I tried to emte it. Kind of. I bit my lip, trying not to look awkward as hell as I twisted my body to the side. I hoped my tight, white worktop would show off my tits. What little I had of them. Shame he couldn¡¯t see thece of my bra underneath¡­


    Julian noticed the difference in those few tiny seconds, straightening up and putting his mug back on the counter.


    ¡°What would you like to eat?¡± he asked me, as a clear distraction. ¡°I know your work shift starts soon, so I¡¯ll get my chef hat on.¡±


    It didn¡¯t start for another ny minutes, but his tone said a lot. I¡¯d have taken his response as an ultimate no and rebuttal if I hadn¡¯t seen him suck in a breath behind his fake innocent smile.


    He opened the fridge.


    ¡°I have eggs. Smoked bacon, too. And the best Cumbend sausages. Would you enjoy a full English breakfast on a Sunday afternoon?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d love one, thank you.¡±


    ¡°Excellent,¡± he said, then gestured me through to the living room. ¡°Make yourself at home at the dining table. I know it¡¯s a poor excuse for one, but it will amodate the two of us, I¡¯m sure.¡±


    I¡¯d barely noticed the table before, it had been wedged in a corner under a stack of newspapers, but it was positioned differently when I headed back in with my mug of tea. I took a seat as he¡¯d suggested, still running through options in my mind.


    Did I carry on with the seduction route? Giggles and eye flutters? Maybe some more lip-biting? I couldn¡¯t imagine it would look authentic, but maybe it would state the obvious. Did I try to find the courage to talk about it directly? Bring up a conversation about his words that night at the door?


    It¡¯s not your mother I¡¯m going to be wanting, Rosie. It¡¯s you.


    It felt like I was there a lifetime, mulling things over, listening to the pans sizzling as Julian made our food. Part of me wanted to go back in there and keep chatting, but I didn¡¯t know what to say. I didn¡¯t want to turn the conversation too¡­ ordinary.


    When he arrived and presented the two tes they were like a dream. Everything from mushrooms to hash browns, to ck pudding.


    ¡°Wow,¡± I said, and he smiled wide.


    ¡°I¡¯m d you¡¯re impressed. I used to be quite the chef, once upon a time. I do enjoy cooking.¡±


    I could see that.


    I tucked in, still holding back my words as my eyes kept flitting over to him. It was obvious after a minute or two that he was avoiding meeting my gaze.


    ¡°This is delicious,¡± I said, and he smiled again.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°No, thank you.¡±


    ¡°You are more than wee.¡±This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    Still, Julian wouldn¡¯t meet my gaze. He ate his food, and drank his mug of tea, smiling but not speaking. Holding back. And I got a twist in my stomach, a fear and a knowing, that if I didn¡¯t address this  if I didn¡¯t at least try, then we¡¯d fall into a pattern. He took care of me, closing me off as nothing more than a girl downstairs who needed looking after.


    That wasn¡¯t what I wanted. I needed to try.


    We ate in silence, but it wasn¡¯t ufortable, just a little tense. I felt something brewing in me. It needed to. I tried to make my voice sound confident when I spoke.


    ¡°I love being eighteen, you know. It gives me loads more freedom. For so long I was just a kid and felt like one, but now things are different. I¡¯m different.¡±


    I was sure what I¡¯d just said sounded dumb. I felt my cheeks warming and I wondered if he could see right through me.


    ¡°Rosie, eighteen is far too young to understand what situation you may be stepping into. The age gap between us is just too big to explore.¡±


    Yes, of course, he could see right through me. Our eyes met, his burning with what I¡¯m certain was lust. I burned up some more, must have looked like a frightened rabbit.


    My words came on instinct.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not too big. It doesn¡¯t matter. If you want it, that is. Because¡­ I do. I want it.¡±


    He looked away, picking up his mug.


    ¡°Believe me. I do have¡­ inclinations, as I told you before. But they wouldn¡¯t be ethical. I can assure you of that. You¡¯ll thank me for my restraint when you look back on it.¡±


    The shrinking violet in me could have taken over, reverting to chatter about food, and my work shift looming, but I couldn¡¯t let this go. I wanted to say so much more.


    ¡°You don¡¯t know that,¡± I said.


    He put his mug down and looked me in the eyes.


    ¡°Have you had sex, Rosie? Tell me. What experience do you have to judge this by?¡±


    He had me at that. I had none, and it was obvious.


    ¡°Have you ever kissed anyone?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I said because I had. Once. A quick kiss with sloppy tongues with an older boy at the park when I was fourteen. I hadn¡¯t seen him again. He¡¯d only been visiting his uncle.


    ¡°Really? Tell me about it.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t tell him the truth, it would beughable, so I finished up the rest of my toast.


    Julian picked up my te as soon as I was done, stacking it on top of his. He was out of his seat and on his way back through to the kitchen before I could speak.


    ¡°Get ready for your shift. You¡¯ll have to leave soon.¡±


    He was right, but I didn¡¯t want to. I couldn¡¯t stop my heart pounding. I couldn¡¯t stop the need to tell him he was wrong about me. That I was ready.

 Chapter 93

    That I wanted him. I wanted to be the girl in those photos. I wanted to use the things in his drawer.


    I heard the tape on in the kitchen and cursed under my breath. I wished I was more confident. Maybe then, I could stride in there and grab hold of him and show him I was a woman, not just a virgin in sses.


    I got ready as quickly as I could in the bedroom. All I needed was a taste of it. Just one little teaser that things could spark between me and Julian, on whatever level he¡¯d let them.


    Luckily, I had a lip gloss stashed in the bottom of my bag. I put it on, making sure my hair was still a loose tumble in the wardrobe mirror. Sexy.


    Ok, cool.


    I crammed everything back into my bag, ready to leave, and made sure the bed was made up perfectly.


    Julian was waiting for me in the hallway. I almost started when I saw him there, standing tall.


    ¡°Please, don¡¯t take this as a rejection,¡± he said, sounding final. ¡°That truly isn¡¯t the case. This is an untenable situation. I have sides to me that you just don¡¯t know. Sides you wouldn¡¯t want to know. You¡¯re a beautiful young girl with a world to explore, and I¡¯ll be here to help you on many levels. We can be friends, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    That word was enough to stab. So cliched.


    Friends.


    We can be friends.


    The phrase fired me up. I didn¡¯t want to be friends with him. I wanted to be the dirty girl in the photos, and I could take it if only he¡¯d let me.


    I dropped my backpack on the floor, somehow managing to find the strength of confession.


    ¡°I have sides to me, too,¡± I said, thenunched into a stream. ¡°I looked in your wardrobe drawer, Julian. I shouldn¡¯t have done it, but I was curious when I was taking one of your shirts out. I saw the pictures, and I saw the toys. I do know those sides of you, and it doesn¡¯t make me want it any less. It makes me want it more. I¡¯m not as innocent as I look. I¡¯m not a baby who doesn¡¯t know what sex, smut, and kink is. I love that stuff. I listen to dirty romance audio and read filthy ebooks all the time, whenever I can, and I know I can do it. I can be dirty, too. That¡¯s what I want. I want to be dirty.¡±


    My monologue came to an end, and his eyes were hard on mine.


    ¡°You¡¯re innocent. Much more innocent than you realize. Treasure it. It¡¯s a beautiful thing.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not!¡± I said. ¡°I promise you, I¡¯m not!¡±


    I wasn¡¯t expecting the move he made. He was like a snake striking fast as he stepped up close and backed me up against the wall. My eyes must have been like saucers behind my sses as I felt the heat from him. I gasped as he put a finger under my chin and tipped my face up, my whole body was thrumming with nerves.


    I¡¯d always imagined this kind of situation would lead to a kiss, but Julian didn¡¯t kiss me. There was a deep, burning edge to his stare. This sure wasn¡¯t hearts and flowers, it was far closer to one of my filthy stories, and it was ten times more intense than I¡¯d imagined. It was enough to knock me sideways.


    I was shaking as I stood there before him, my knees feeling so weak they could buckle.


    ¡°As I told you, you are innocent,¡± he said, his voice low. ¡°Far too innocent.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t counter it. The heat from him burnt too much for me to say a word.


    ¡°Innocent,¡± he repeated, and I was still locked in his stare.


    I whimpered as he pushed his thumb inside my mouth without so much as a hint of a warning. My hands made to move up on instinct, but they dithered as his thumb yed with my tongue. His eyes were boring into mine as he explored my mouth. His thumb was probing, rough¡­ dirty, and I felt self-consciousness fluttering as he pulled out and ran his wet thumb across my lips.


    I was unsure what the hell to do. I felt the opposite of some kind of sex goddess. I was a world away from smirking sexily and pulling him close for more.


    He read me. His smile said it all.


    ¡°Time for you to get to work,¡± he said and stepped away, the moment gone.


    I couldn¡¯t argue. I daren¡¯t. I was a bundle of nerves as I picked up my bag from the floor.


    ¡°Ok,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ see youter. If that¡¯s ok.¡±


    ¡°Of course,¡± he said. ¡°That¡¯s more than ok. We still have your situation to resolve. You¡¯ll be very safe here.¡±


    Very safe.


    I¡¯d blown it. I felt like a gawky idiot as I dashed out of there. I knew he¡¯d be watching me from the window as I walked away from the block. I was in plenty of time for work, but marched on a mission, trying to get out of view.


    I¡¯d fucked up.


    I¡¯d blown my chances.


    I¡¯d acted like the innocent little girl he¡¯d expected me to be. I was so fucked off with myself, I could scream.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    I thought I¡¯d resigned myself to the obvious by the time I began my shift. Me and Julian were heading nowhere. That might have been true if it wasn¡¯t a busy Sunday evening and I wasn¡¯t in and out of the kitchen, helping the front-of-house staff.


    It was getting towards closing time when I saw Sarah Brown and Lucinda Morris arrive at the counter with Mark and Evan Reynolds in tow. The girls were so confident, flirting, and giggling. Moving against the guys so naturally as they reached out for them. It was obvious those two knew what they were doing, yeah, but they were no older than me. I think Lucinda was younger, but it wasn¡¯t holding her back.


    Why should it hold me back? Why should goofing up once set the scene between me and Julian forever? I could be the terve I¡¯d been, no, but I could repair the damage of wide eyes and unsteady legs. I could at least try. I had to.


    I was still pumped as I grabbed my coat at the end of my shift and set off back to Crenham. I stopped on the corner before our block came into view, opening my backpack to shove my cap in there. Then I pulled my hair loose, trying my best to fluff it up before I became visible. I somehow knew that Julian would be watching out of his window with a cigarette in his mouth.


    Time to go. I stepped into view and headed for the gate, not once looking up to see if he was there. I didn¡¯t care all that much about checking the corridors were empty as I made my way upstairs. I dashed past my apartment door and practically leaped up the next flight, determined. I rapped my knuckles against the door of apartment six, holding onto my nerves as tightly as I possibly could  the image of Lucinda and Sarah still in my mind.


    Confidence.


    Julian smiled naturally when he opened the door. His dark gaze was all gone, and he was perfectlyposed as he weed me in, but I couldn¡¯t just go along with it.


    ¡°Good day?¡± he said.


    I didn¡¯t answer his question.


    It was my turn to make the move this time.


    I threw my backpack to the floor as soon as he¡¯d closed the door, and pushed him up against the wall in the hallway, just like he had me. I stared up at him with utter authenticity, true to the sensations I was feeling inside.


    ¡°Rosie¡± he began, but I didn¡¯t give him the chance to finish.


    I grabbed his hand from his side and raised it to my mouth, and then  with my eyes still fixed on his  I sucked on his thumb like the dirty little bitch I wanted to be.

 Chapter 94

    JULIAN


    My addiction red to the surface. I had no resolve, boundaries nothing but filth, the temptation too hard to fight. Bubblegum bodywash the glorious scent of coconut, and the sweet sensation of her hot mouth around my thumb.


    Rosie wasn¡¯t like the flirtatious students in my college sses, or the grinning girls who¡¯d given me the eye for months on end, walking around my house along with my daughter. Rosie was a nk canvas. Untouched. Her actions said more than words could ever say. Her innocence was obvious by the way she sucked, swirling her tongue in a frenzy. Her enthusiasm was more than I could take.


    My body took over, nothing but pure white heat behind my eyes as I pulled my thumb free and set my mouth on hers. My kiss wasn¡¯t tender. My tongue wasn¡¯t gentle. I gripped her face in my hands and possessed her mouth with the desperate kind of lust that drove me wild.


    She whimpered at the shock, dithering just a little before her senses flew free with mine. Instincts met instincts, raw and unfiltered. She reached up to tangle her fingers in my hair, but they didn¡¯t stay still. They couldn¡¯t. They explored, running over my shoulders, grasping at me as I scooped her up into my arms and carried her into the living room. I only broke the kiss to drop her onto the sofa, and I was right down on top of her, my breaths in her face as my lips peppered hers.


    ¡°You aren¡¯t going to be the girl in those pictures,¡± I managed to say.


    ¡°Please! I can be!¡±


    I shook my head, breathing in a fervor.


    ¡°No.¡±


    She must have thought I was pushing her away because her fingers twisted back in my hair. It was her lips peppering mine this time, interspersed with begging. Please. Please. Please.


    I was in far too deep to stop, too consumed to even think of pulling away. But there are manyyers to passion. Filth and fetish were cornerstones to my addiction, but Rosie was at the very beginning. I had worlds to show her before the real fruits of my deviance showed their face.


    That¡¯s how I managed to ease my conscience right then.


    It was going to be about her, not me.


    I was going to show her what real passion meant.


    I was going to educate her and give her what she needed before some useless cunt from this godawful fucking estate took it from her without even a thought for her needs. She wasn¡¯t going to end up as a cheap token fuck in some asshole¡¯s repertoire. I¡¯d show her what it meant to be a goddess. A treasure to be worshipped by someone in utter adoration.


    It would set her benchmarks for the future. Her life when I was gone.


    My next kiss was slower, my tongue flirting with hers. She liked that. She moaned as she found her groove with mine, her tongue bing more adventurous. Our breaths flowed into sync and I pulled away enough to flick my tongue across her lips, loving the delicate smile on her face as she looked at me.


    There was as much adoration in her eyes as I¡¯m sure there was in mine. Her smile made me smile and my cock swell. I¡¯d been fighting the urges for way too long. Way, way too long. I hadn¡¯t touched a girl since I¡¯d walked away from Oxford.


    Rosie¡¯s confidence had increased some. Her fingers came up to pull my tie loose, but I shook my head. ¡°No. This is about you, not me.¡±


    She looked confused. ¡°But I want to¡­¡±


    I shook my head again, and this time I took her wrists, guiding her arms up and over the back of the Chesterfield, leaving her sitting there, arched for me.


    ¡°You¡¯ll keep still,¡± I told her. ¡°You¡¯ll enjoy what you¡¯re given.¡±


    She nodded at that, and my cock swelled some more at the sight of her subservience. She was a pleaser, who¡¯d fly high on praise. I didn¡¯t want to be pleased tonight, though. I wanted to fly high on her heights, not mine.


    Her lips were puffy from our kisses. Tender. She was genuine this time when her teeth pinched her bottom lip, her eyes hooded behind her sses as I let mine rove right the way down her body. My stare must have scorched as I soaked in the heaves of her chest, her worktop straining over her tiny tits. I¡¯d already glimpsed the prettiness of tiny nipples under the damp fabric when she¡¯d been wearing my shirt as a nightgown. I was desperate to see them through the delicatece of her bra. Because that¡¯s the thing about knowing filth inside out. I knew how to turn door handles and nce inside without making a sound. I knew how to snoop, undetected.


    I¡¯d seen her clothes on the floor. I¡¯d already seen her sweet little panties andcy bra.


    I held back from touching her and savored every moment. I stared at the promise of untouched skin under her clothes, my mouth watering at the knowledge it was all there for me.


    ¡°Do it,¡± she said, offering her body with the slightest arch.


    ¡°My pleasure,¡± I said.


    She groaned as I tugged her top over her head, revealing the sweetce bra I¡¯d known had been awaiting me. Her tits looked even better than I¡¯d imagined. Her nipples were tiny buttons on sweet pink. Her bra was nothing more than a token gesture because she didn¡¯t need the support. Her tits were too beautifully small.


    I stroked her nipples through the fabric, and her eyes closed tight. Shy.


    ¡°Look at me,¡± I told her.


    I teased her nipples again as soon as she did as she was told.


    ¡°Nobody has ever touched you, have they?¡± I asked, just to see the beauty of her shaking her head.


    The gorgeous little creature was a nk canvas, and the deviant part of me wanted to exploit it. I wanted to take the marker pens from my wardrobe drawer and scribble obscenities all over her, at odds with the perfect little flower she was.


    ¡°Have you ever taken anything in your cunt?¡± I asked her, and her eyes widened in the way I adored her.


    ¡°Do you fuck yourself, Rosie?¡±


    She shook her head, almost embarrassed. ¡°No. I just y.¡±


    ¡°y how?¡±


    She swallowed, cheeks burning up. A beautiful sight.


    ¡°With my clit,¡± she said, and my cock strained in my pants.


    ¡°So, nothing has been inside you? Not even your fingers?¡±


    She shook her head but didn¡¯t speak. My cock was throbbing so hard it was pure fucking torture.


    ¡°Keep your hands above your head,¡± I said again, and she nodded.


    Her breaths quickened as I dropped my head to her chest. She was squirming underneath me by the time I let my tongue flick at her. Thece of her bra cup was wet through in seconds, and my mouth must have been scorching hot as I kissed her tit, swirling the tip of my tongue around her nipple. I nipped at her, just a pinch. She groaned, just a little.


    She had her head tipped back when I tugged thece down and let my tongue loose on her bare skin. She had goosebumps, her tiny nipples puckered tight. My mouth took one of her tits and my hand took the other, working in rhythm as I teased.


    Her hands came down for my hair again, but I mmed them back up over her head.


    ¡°No.¡±


    I snaked my hands behind her to unclip her bra. She moved her hands to let me push them free but put them straight back up again. She was perfect. Gorgeous. She drove me insane.


    I needed to give her more. I needed to ride on her shyness.


    ¡°Kick your shoes off.¡±


    Her pumps were off in a sh as she shook her feet. She tensed on instinct as I unbuttoned her skirt and tugged it down and off. She was wearing tights and I was slow with those. Her pale legs were prickled with goosebumps by the time I pulled them free of her toes. I hitched her thighs up and wide, admiring her damp white panties. They were too delightful for me to take them from her just yet. I wanted to tease myself as much as her.


    She was panting as she watched me watching her. Her smile was divine when it met my smirk.


    ¡°You¡¯re absolutely beautiful,¡± I told her, and she bloomed with such happiness that it touched me deeply.


    I knew she¡¯d never been on disy for anyone. My eyes were the first to be blessed with the sight.


    With that, I dropped down on my knees in front of the Chesterfield and took hold of one of her ankles. She was ticklish, squealing a gorgeous girly squeal as I sucked on her toes one by one. My tongue dug between them, tasting every single part of her.


    ¡°That tickles,¡± she said, stating the obvious.


    Her voice was an absolute treasure.


    She moaned when I kissed the inside of her ankle, tensing up as I trailed a path of soft kisses up the inside of her leg. I was almost at the top of her thigh when I pulled away. She protested with a groan as I took hold of her other foot to repeat the journey.


    It only made me slow down. Torturing her. And me.


    I could smell the heady scent of her pussy as I finally reached the juncture of her thighs for the second time. Her panties were soaked through, cotton clinging to petals. It was so tempting to bury my face in there and suck at her through the fabric, but I held back. I hooked my fingers inside and she moved so I could slide her panties down her legs, and even though I was graced with the sight of her gorgeous pussy, I gave her only my breaths, my eyes staring up at her.


    Her expression was pure delight.


    ¡°Please,¡± she said again, but I doubt she was even sure what she was asking for. Anything, most likely, just as I was as desperate to give it. Anything, everything¡­ it all blurred into lust, but I was the one in charge here.


    I teased her by taking hold of her ankle again, shooting her a yful smile as she groaned in protest.


    ¡°No! More, please!¡±


    ¡°Ungrateful,¡± I joked, and her eyes were dirty as she grinned.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    ¡°I love it,¡± she told me. ¡°I just want more.¡±


    ¡°More?¡±


    She nodded. ¡°More.¡±


    ¡°More of what?¡±

 Chapter 95

    Her cheeks were blooming along with her smile, but she was a good girl, keeping her hands up high.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°Say it,¡± I told her. ¡°Tell me you want me to y with your cunt.¡±


    I nced at her exposed pussy lips peeking through a dusting of light brown hair.


    She looked so embarrassed. It made my dick throb even more.


    ¡°Go on,¡± I said. ¡°Tell me what you need.¡±


    ¡°y with me¡­¡±


    ¡°Say it.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I just¡­¡±


    ¡°Say it,¡± I said again, and she knew I was serious.


    ¡°y with my cunt, please.¡±


    I could have exploded on the spot to hear those words from her lips, and she saw the effect it had on me. She smiled again. Cute.


    ¡°y with my cunt, Julian. That¡¯s what I want.¡±


    ¡°Want or need?¡± I teased, and she giggled, closing her eyes.


    ¡°Need. I need it. I¡¯ve been needing it for weeks, ever since I first knocked at your door.¡±


    I loved her honesty.


    ¡°The same goes in return,¡± I told her. ¡°Only I¡¯ve been wanting it longer. I¡¯ve wanted it since I first saw you bouncing off to college on the day I moved in.¡±


    Her eyes locked onto mine.


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yes. The God¡¯s truth. I¡¯ve been avoiding you ever since that day. I avoided you until you came calling.¡±


    She looked at me like it was an honor, not like I was a filthy pervert who shouldn¡¯t be thinking of her like that. Who shouldn¡¯t have his cock in his hand at night picturing her sprawled naked, doing whatever I asked.


    Rosie¡¯s confidence was growing. She scooted up on the sofa cushions, legs still up high.


    ¡°y with my cunt, please,¡± she said, her words stronger. ¡°Please, Julian. I need it. I need you inside me.¡±


    ¡°Oh, no, no, no,¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯re not going to have anything in that untainted little pussy until it¡¯s time.¡±


    ¡°When will it be time?¡±


    She seemed so desperate to have her virginity taken that it was a shame. She was still so young. It would be a travesty to rush it.This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    ¡°Trust me,¡± I told her. ¡°I¡¯ll decide when you¡¯re ready. I¡¯ll know.¡±


    Whether or not it would be me who took her virginity was a decision I wasn¡¯t fit to be making.


    The girl responded to my dominance with a cute little nod. There was no bratty, fake arguing, pouting, or anything other than unblemished innocence as she gave way to my experience over her own.


    Trust.


    It was there, shining. Beautiful. The absolute contrast to everything I¡¯d left behind me.


    But first, before going any further, some things needed saying. I took hold of her thighs in a strong grip, raising myself higher on my knees until I was face to-face with her.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to show you how you deserve to be yed with, Rosie. I¡¯m going to show you how good it can feel when someone puts your needs at the height of their passion.¡±


    Another nod. So sweet. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°Thank you is something you say far too easily,¡± I told her. ¡°You say thank you, even when you¡¯re the one doing the giving. I should be the one saying thank you here, not you. And I will do that. I don¡¯t think you¡¯ve ever felt truly valued before. I don¡¯t think you know how it feels to be worshipped for everything that you are.¡±


    That took her breath, the shyness back. I¡¯d touched a delicate nerve.


    ¡°Let me show you how it feels to be adored,¡± I said, and even below the tingles of lust prickling her skin there was a tenderness of heart. She looked like she could cry in disbelief. No doubt her head was running riot through the emotions.


    She had to take a deep breath before she spoke. She was like a pure angel of spirit as she kept her hands over her head.


    ¡°Are you going to do other things to me, too? Dirty things?¡±


    ¡°Maybe.¡±


    ¡°Maybe?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll see. Don¡¯t set off on a run and miss the glory of the walk.¡±


    She stayed in position, gorgeous eyes fixed on me as I got to my feet. I held out a hand for her and she took it. I pulled her up from the sofa and she stood before me, naked and divine as she pushed her sses up her nose. I¡¯d never get bored of her doing that.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get you morefortable,¡± I said and gestured her through to the bedroom.


    She didn¡¯t protest, taking dainty steps as I followed, far enough behind to savor the sight of her perfect little ass. She truly was a goddess. She shot me one nce over her shoulder when she reached the doorway, awaiting my instruction.


    ¡°On the bed,¡± I said, and she took the position, settling herself down on her back.


    Her hands went above her head to take hold of the headboard. A fast learner.


    If only she knew how I¡¯d slipped under the covers when she¡¯d left for work that morning, breathing in the glorious scent of her as I worked my cock.


    She didn¡¯t protest when I started at her ankles again this time. She enjoyed it for what it was, with smiles and giggles as I yed with her fresh, virgin flesh. Her toes were dainty and cute like the rest of her. Her ankles were tiny, and her thighs tightened beautifully when I teased them. I didn¡¯t y with her cunt, merely giving one tease of a kiss below beherbuttonubeforeefore working my way up further, crushing her sweet little tits in my hands before sucking her nipples one by one. My mouth on her neck had her panting. Her lips were ready for mine when Iid down on top of her and kissed her all over again.


    I could have taken my cock from my pants and mmed my way inside her like a selfish deviant, but I didn¡¯t. I gave the angel what she deserved. I kiss ass if I meant it  both a greeting and a tragic farewell in the making, because lust and innocence like this forever I wasn¡¯t going to be the love of her life, just a filthy admirer along the way. I¡¯d be a man who¡¯d show her what it meant to be adored before I said goodbye.


    And said goodbye to the world along with her.


    I kissed her for a long, long time before she wrapped her legs around my waist. She pulled me close, pussy grinding against my hard-on, but I didn¡¯t quicken up. We¡¯d barely even started.


    The little angel showed the very first hint of girlish brattiness when I pulled away from the kiss to catch my breath. She stared up at me as she wrapped her legs tighter around my waist. Her words were like temptation personified when she spoke them aloud. Her tone was low, heightened by an electric streak of confidence.


    ¡°y with my cunt, Julian,¡± she said. ¡°I really can¡¯t take any more.¡±

 Chapter 96

    ROSIE


    I coaxed Julian with everything I had. I wrapped my legs even tighter around his waist and ground against him, out of control. I was going insane with the need to feel him inside me. But he wouldn¡¯t give it. I knew that. He¡¯d meant what he said. So, I¡¯d take what I was given, just as he told me to. And right now, I needed to feel him on my pussy  cunt  teasing my sweet spot the way he¡¯d teased the rest of me.


    I was naked and exposed, but it felt secondary to lust. My shyness was lost to the craziness as he brushed some stray hair from my face. He was still in his suit,posed over me. Such a contrast, it made me want him even more.


    ¡°Please,¡± I said. ¡°y with my cunt, Julian.¡±


    It felt so strange to say that word, but he loved it. It made him smile.


    I could have cried out in relief when he moved to my side and trailed his fingers down my stomach. My nipples were still bullet-hard as I gripped the headboard, my legs spreading naturally as his hand kept on moving. I wondered if he¡¯d go straight to my clit and have meing in a sh  because I would do  but of course he didn¡¯t. He pressed a finger on either side of my pussy lips and eased them open. Nakedness felt like nothingpared to the exposure I felt with my pussy spread for his stare.


    ¡°You have such a pretty cunt,¡± he said. ¡°Your slit is so wet. It would be so good to slide my fingers inside you.¡±


    He pressed, just a touch, and I groaned, my pussy burning up.


    ¡°Do it,¡± I said, but he shook his head, a glint of a tease in his eyes.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Like I said, you¡¯re a long way off that, yet. This is all about your pleasure.¡±


    I cried out as he pressed the base of his thumb hard against my clit. It sent off a spark that zipped right the way up to my nipples. I couldn¡¯t stop myself squirming. A few circles of my fingers and I¡¯d be done for, over the edge in an instant. I knew he could do the same, but he didn¡¯t. He kept the pressure on. Still and steady.


    ¡°Legs up,¡± he told me, and I raised them to my chest, letting my knees fall wide. I was lost to the shyness of everything now. I didn¡¯t care how exposed I was. I knew he¡¯d be able to see my asshole, and the wetness of my pussy, practically dripping.


    He positioned himself between my legs, with his face up close between my thighs. When he pressed his thumb right back on my clit, I had to moan again. I could have tossed and turned, and squirmed against him, hypersensitive  and I would have done, if I wasn¡¯t so desperate to do as he told me. I wanted to please him as much as he wanted to please me.


    His tongue swept up between my pussy lips,pping at me, but staying just clear of my clit. Every nerve ending in me was alight. I had to grip the headboard, my toes curling.


    He did it over and over until I was panting, with my head turned to the side.


    ¡°PLEASE!¡± I said. ¡°PLEASE!¡±


    ¡°Gently,¡± he said, and blew a breath on me, right there.


    Fuck. I wasn¡¯t sure whether I could stand it.


    When the tip of Julian¡¯s tongue finally touched my sweet spot, I cried out loud. When he circled me in tiny motions I was burning like the sun.


    ¡°That¡¯s it,¡± he said, then circled some more, slowly. So fucking slowly. I cried out again when he pulled away enough to kiss the inside of my thigh.


    ¡°PLEASE! I need toe!¡±


    ¡°Feels nice to be strung so tightly on the edge, doesn¡¯t it? I could keep you here like this all night long. It would be heaven.¡±


    Even the thought made me squirm some more.


    ¡°Please, Julian! Please!¡±


    I was delirious when he worked his tongue around my clit again. This time it was faster. I was bucking against him when he began to suck, blown to smithereens, because I had no idea how good clit y could be when it built up like this. I was making sounds I didn¡¯t recognize, murmuring words that made no sense, and nothing mattered but the way his mouth felt on me. I reached the heights of a peak I didn¡¯t know existed, pressing my heels to the bed to lift myself, pushing back against his mouth, and there was nothing but pleasure. Waves of pleasure on top of pleasure, until I was a panting wreck with ringing ears, and my pulse thudding in my temples.


    I came more intensely than I¡¯d have ever thought possible. My fumbles by myself at night had nevere close.


    I was still panting for breath as he raised himself onto his elbows, his lips glistening wet.


    I didn¡¯t have any holdups about kissing him when he climbed back on top of me. I loved every taste. Even though I knew nothing about sex in practice, my body knew what it needed to be doing. I felt the ridge of Julian¡¯s cock through his trousers and made sure I worked it up and down my pussy  slit. He wanted it, too. His cock wanted to be inside me.


    ¡°Don¡¯t tempt me,¡± he said, but I wanted to tempt him. I wanted him to make me his.


    I kept working myself against him, and he closed his eyes.


    ¡°Quite the little temptress,¡± he said, and I loved the way he breathed as he said it. I¡¯d love to y with him, just like he¡¯d yed with me, but it seems he had other ns.

 Chapter 97

    I didn¡¯t doubt that. I wanted to taste it all with him. Everything he knew. Everything he could give. Everything he could show me.


    ¡°You haven¡¯t answered my question.¡± He was staring up at me from between my legs, grinning over the hair of my pussy. ¡°I asked you what you thought about when you yed with your cunt at night.¡±


    ¡°You,¡± I said. ¡°I think about you.¡±


    ¡°What about me? Do you imagine that I¡¯m fucking you?¡±My tits were a whole other level of sensitivity as he sucked on my nipples. My skin was damp with sweat as he made his way back down my body. My clit was still sparking, so tender that it made me flinch as hepped at me, just once. He didn¡¯t linger there, just kept on going down. He yanked me down the bed and pushed my legs up high, and I got a fresh bout of nerves, post orgasm. I knew he was staring at my asshole. My face must have been like beetroot, wondering if I was clean.


    ¡°Have you ever imagined how it would feel to take a cock in your ass?¡± he asked me.


    ¡°Yes. Plenty of times. Especially when I¡¯m hearing it in audio,¡± I said.


    ¡°Really? And what else have you imagined? What do you think about when you y with your clit?¡± He kissed me, in my dirtiest spot. A hot kiss that felt so weird. ¡°How about this?¡±


    He kept probing, pushing the tip of his tongue against my ass. It made me whimper, too embarrassed to look at him.


    He spotted that.


    ¡°I want your eyes on me,¡± he said. ¡°You have nothing to be self-conscious about here. I want to know every single part of you. I love filthy secrets.¡± Hisugh was dirty. ¡°I love filthy everything.¡±


    His words had my clit tingling all over again.


    ¡°Yes,¡± I said, ¡°I imagine that it¡¯s your fingers ying with my cunt.¡±


    He grinned at that. His eyes were full of lust as he dropped back to my asshole and pushed his tongue inside and I squirmed for him, it felt so weirdly nice.


    I couldn¡¯t believe I had the man upstairs¡¯ tongue digging into my asshole. He was the man from my fantasies, and here he was. It was a dreame to life, a high unknown to the lows of my past. I seriously could have pinched myself, but I didn¡¯t want to wake up from such a filthy dream.


    He kissed and licked and probed my ass until I was building to a peak for a second time. His experience was so obvious when he read my body like a novel. As though I was the material of his profession, and he was the lecturer, right here with me. He brushed my clit as I began to rise again  a gentle tune. A skilled one.


    The next orgasm came quickly. A harsh spike that had me wailing like a needy bitch. All it did was make him smile.


    He yed, and yed, and yed, until I was a sweaty, tingling wreck, still clutching at the headboard. My fingers were sore by the time he finally relented andid at my side, lips puffy from all the pleasure he¡¯d been giving me.


    I considered trying to loosen his tie for a second time, but he didn¡¯t give me the chance to. He got up from the bed and held out a hand. I took it and got to my feet, my legs aching.


    ¡°I think you need a drink,¡± he said, and he was right about that. My throat was parched. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t want you to get cold,¡± he said as we passed his wardrobe. He took a shirt off a hanger. ¡°I¡¯d prefer you naked, of course, but I¡¯m not sure the temperature would be that kind. The heating isn¡¯t exactly up to par in this ce.¡±


    It was another hint as to the past he¡¯d arrived from.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I said and slipped his shirt over my head. I loved the way it smelt of his fabric softener.


    He was straight through to the kitchen.


    ¡°Tea, coffee, water, orange juice, cordial?¡± He smirked at me. ¡°Whisky?¡±


    Iughed. ¡°Orange juice, please. Then who knows? Maybe a whisky to follow.¡±


    ¡°Adventurous, are you?¡±


    ¡°Sometimes.¡±


    I was bouncing on the bubble of fantasy, my body still possessed by the dirty attention I¡¯d received at the hands of a man like Julian. A man I¡¯d never have expected to have met, let alone have sex with.


    I prayed that would happen soon.


    I wanted more than anything to have sex with Julian. I wanted his cock to be the one inside me for the very first time.


    He handed over my orange juice and got one for himself. We stood in silence, both of us sipping, not quite sure what to say. It wasn¡¯t ufortable, though. It never was.


    I opted for humor, nodding my head towards his suit.


    ¡°Do you ever take that off?¡±


    Heughed, looking down at his ss. ¡°asionally. Luckily, I have more than one.¡±


    ¡°I know,¡± I said. ¡°I saw them.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t do much variety these days.¡±


    I looked him dead on. ¡°Howe?¡±


    It was a precursor to a much deeper set of questions, and he knew it.


    ¡°My past is quite a murky area. I don¡¯t think you want to go there. I certainly don¡¯t.¡±


    He was wrong, though. I did want to go there. I wanted to know Julian as well as he knew every part of my body.


    My confidence was growing, possibly an orgasm high.


    ¡°Howe you ended up here?¡± I asked him. ¡°Seriously.¡±


    ¡°As I said, I have a very murky past.¡±


    I took his wrist as he made to walk past me.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    ¡°You just licked my ass, Julian. You can tell me a few of your secrets, don¡¯t you think?¡±


    His eyes were still so dark as they sparkled.


    ¡°Is this a bartering service? You¡¯ve licked my ass, so tell me why you fucked your family over and destroyed their lives?¡±


    Ouch. His words knocked me back. I let go of his wrist.


    ¡°There you go,¡± he said. ¡°Not all that pleasant, is it?¡±

 Chapter 98

    I followed him into the living room, sitting next to him on the sofa. He ced his orange juice on the coffee table but took a whisky bottle from down the side. He swigged a shot back before offering it to me. I shook my head.


    ¡°I¡¯m still married, Rosie. On paper, anyway. I have, had, a family, back in Oxford.¡±


    The thought was surprisingly weird like it punched me. I felt bizarrely jealous.


    ¡°You¡¯re married?¡±


    ¡°Indeed, yes. My wedding ring is in the bedside drawer. I¡¯m surprised you haven¡¯t found it yet, considering you managed to locate the stash of filth in my wardrobe.¡±


    The heat bloomed on my face.


    ¡°No. I haven¡¯t looked in your bedside drawer.¡±


    ¡°Ah, ok,¡± he told me. ¡°Well, as I said. You¡¯d find my wedding ring in there if you did.¡±


    Sometimes it¡¯s the weirdest questions thate into your head.


    ¡°What¡¯s her name?¡±This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    ¡°Sorry?¡±


    ¡°Your wife. What¡¯s her name?¡±


    He half shrugged. ¡°Katreya.¡±


    ¡°How old is she?¡±


    He didn¡¯t hesitate in answering this time.


    ¡°Forty-seven. There are just shy of two years between us. We got married when she was twenty-one.¡±


    I got another pang. There were twenty-nine years between us. Me and his wife.


    ¡°Want some more of my history?¡± Julian asked, with a scoff. Not malicious. ¡°My daughter, Grace, is twenty-five years old, and my son, Ryan, is twenty-two. Ryan still lives at home with Katreya. Or he did thest time I saw him.¡±


    That pang hit even harder. Two kids, both older than me. It put things into perspective.


    ¡°I have a granddaughter, too,¡± he continued, to m it home further. ¡°Emily is two. She¡¯s a little sweetheart.¡±


    He watched me watching him before he continued.


    ¡°How are you feeling now? Do you want me to keep going?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    Heughed in sad humor.


    ¡°This is quite a downturn in conversation, isn¡¯t it? We should be flying high.¡±


    I had tough at that. ¡°Maybe I should have some of that whisky.¡±


    He shed me a grin as he handed the bottle over. I¡¯d only been half-serious, but I took a tiny gulp anyway. It was horrible. I pulled a face.


    ¡°Not much of a drinker?¡± he asked and I shook my head, handing him the bottle back.


    ¡°No. My mum was when I was younger. Kind of put me off.¡±


    ¡°I can imagine. I hid my addiction for many years. I used to bury my whisky in my desk drawer, behind a load of curriculum paperwork. Nasty.¡± Addiction.


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m an alcoholic,¡± Julian said, reading my eyes. ¡°Sometimes I fool myself that I¡¯m over it, other times I¡¯m not so deluded. I¡¯ve heard many opinions as to the cause, whether it¡¯s some kind of repressed trauma or a gic predisposition. An illness. An effect the substance has on the body. Escapism.¡± He paused. ¡°Whatever it is, it doesn¡¯t make any difference. I¡¯m an alcoholic.¡±


    I felt like I was looking straight into his soul, but I didn¡¯t see weakness there. I saw honesty.


    My next question was so stupid I should¡¯ve cringed.


    ¡°Have you tried to give it up?¡±


    He didn¡¯t look at me like I was an idiot for asking.


    ¡°Yes. Many times. Not least at the points when I had Katreya screaming and crying in my face, ming everything in the world on the fact that I¡¯d been downing shots. Some of it is likely true, of course, but it bes an easy scapegoat. She found it a lot easier to point fingers at my drinking problems than she ever did to try a little bit of self-reflection as to her part in our difficulties. As I said, I¡¯m sure a lot of her arguments were very true, but not every single one of them. Still, that¡¯s no longer a relevant concern.¡±


    I plucked up the confidence to keep digging.


    ¡°Is that why you split up? Is that why your family broke down? Because of the drinking?¡±


    ¡°We didn¡¯t split up, and that isn¡¯t what broke the family down,¡± he said. ¡°I packed up and moved away because I was cast aside and disowned, and rightly so.¡±


    Again, I was surprised at his honesty.


    ¡°Say it.¡± Heughed a sadugh. ¡°Ask the question. I know you want to ask it. The infamous three-letter word. Why. Keep on digging, Rosie.¡±


    ¡°OK, cool. So, why did you pack up and move away? Why were you disowned?¡±


    His eyes bored deep into mine.


    ¡°Because of the pictures you saw in the wardrobe drawer. Alcohol addiction isn¡¯t the only one I have. I¡¯m addicted to sex, too.¡±


    I reeled at that, struggling toprehend it. My mind was whirring, and he nodded as he saw.


    ¡°The girl in the photos is one of my daughter¡¯s friends. Her name is Maisie. She was the first girl I fucked outside of my marriage. She was neen years old.¡±


    I didn¡¯t know what to say, just listened as he kept on talking.


    ¡°The shock and the thrill of fucking her kept my urges at bay for a considerable amount of time after that. I¡¯d say maybe six months. The next girl was Serena. A friend of Grace¡¯s from gym ss. Grace was doing gym right the way up until university. Her friend Serena was very¡­ flexible.¡±


    My skin was still prickling with want for him, despite his words. If he was trying to shock me into revulsion, it wouldn¡¯t work. I was far too caught up in him.


    ¡°Serena opened up a new perspective for me,¡± he said. ¡°I began to notice the flirtatious nces I was getting during my lectures. A lot of girls like professors. It gave me an unfair advantage when it came to fucking them.¡±


    I reached back over for the whisky, braving another shot, despite the fact it tasted gross.


    ¡°I have fucked an awful lot of girls,¡± Julian said. ¡°It was only a matter of time before Katreya found out. Secrets can¡¯t stay hidden forever.¡±


    ¡°A lot of guys cheat,¡± I said, as a ridiculous attempt at ying it down.


    ¡°I¡¯m an adulterer. Imitted to my wife in holy matrimony, and that deserves the honor I promised her.¡±


    ¡°So, you cheated on her? Just like that? Because your daughter had a hot friend? And then what? You became addicted to it?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s one angle,¡± he said. ¡°In truth, I should have left my wife a lot sooner. She would have said the same if she hadn¡¯t felt so betrayed. I once overheard her talking to friends about it in our living room, when she thought I was downing whisky upstairs in the office. She wasughing about it. About how it would never havested if she hadn¡¯t been pregnant so young. She called me a filthy pervert and said she¡¯d not been finding me attractive for a long, long time. It shouldn¡¯t have surprised me. We were only fucking as a token gesture very asionally at that point.¡±


    ¡°That must have hurt.¡±


    ¡°It did, yes. But on the hurt scale, I think Katreya¡¯s hurt surpasses mine. I don¡¯t think she¡¯ll be sending me a sorry card.¡± He stared at the window. ¡°If she knew where to send one, that is.¡±


    ¡°She doesn¡¯t know where you are?¡±


    He shook his head. ¡°No. Nobody does. And they wouldn¡¯t want to.¡± I pulled my legs up under me on the sofa, feeling shit for digging.


    ¡°Like I told you,¡± he said. ¡°I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d want to go there.¡±


    In some ways, I wished I hadn¡¯t. I could have been cocooned in his arms, riding high on bliss.


    His eyes met mine again.


    ¡°Katreya was cheating before I was. A guy at Grace¡¯s gym club when she was fourteen. An ex-Olympian. I don¡¯t me her, in all fairness. He was quite an athlete.¡±


    He put his whisky bottle back down on the floor, opting for the orange juice from the coffee table instead.


    ¡°There is a reason divorce rates are so high,¡± he said. ¡°Katreya and I got married under the tension of a positive pregnancy test, and our rtionship ended in the shambles of a dead, sexless cohabitation. That with the addition of my role as a sex-addicted alcoholic, who has a craving for barely legal girls.¡±


    I stared mutely. Unsure what the hell to say.


    He smirked at that, pointing over at the door.


    ¡°I¡¯ll understand if you would prefer to stay at Trisha¡¯s. Don¡¯t worry, either way. I¡¯ll still help you resolve the Scottie situation. Just make sure you don¡¯t go back to the apartment.¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I said, right off the mark. ¡°I want to stay here.¡±


    ¡°Even though you¡¯ve just had my seedy mouth all over you? I¡¯m not a good man, as you now well know.¡±


    He was trying to put me off, but it wouldn¡¯t work. His conscience could eat him up all he wanted, but it wouldn¡¯t push me away. I was already in deep with him, a sex addict alcoholic or not. Something was brewing in me to match his honesty. My tales wanted to show their faces and get a hearing from someone interested enough to listen. Not like the token school counselors I¡¯d had when I was thirteen, pretending they gave a shit in my lunch hour for six weeks running  the allotted time. I couldn¡¯t talk to Mum because she always took anything I ever wanted to say personally. She¡¯d me herself and cry over everything possible, and I¡¯d feel like I¡¯d hurt her. So, I kept it to myself. It was easier that way. Or so I thought until I was right here with Julian.


    It put the state of my hidden soul into perspective. I wanted someone who I could be myself with. Who I could speak the truth with. I didn¡¯t want to move from Julian¡¯s apartment. Ever. All I wanted was to be at his side.


    At his side and in his bed.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going anywhere,¡± I told him, and took my orange juice, downing it in one. ¡°I¡¯ll stay here as long as you¡¯ll have me.¡±


    ¡°Really? As long as I¡¯ll have you? That¡¯s quite a statement, Rosie.¡± ¡°Really,¡± I said. ¡°I feel safer here than I¡¯ve ever felt in my life.¡±


    He took a cigarette from a pack on the coffee table. ¡°That¡¯s an even greater statement.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care,¡± I told him. ¡°It¡¯s true. We can both do honesty. You¡¯ve given me some of yours, so how about I give you some of mine?¡±


    He didn¡¯t flinch or look away. He met my eyes with a calmness that soothed my soul, giving me a glimpse of true, unbiasedpanionship for once in my life.


    ¡°I¡¯m all ears,¡± he said.

 Chapter 99

    JULIAN


    Rosie¡¯s beauty was truly divine. A little angel on my sofa, dwarfed by one of my shirts.


    She was a blend I hadn¡¯t known before. A tantalizing mixture of sexual naivety and a strange sense of wisdom. The tiny goddess was young in body, but not in mind.


    She most certainly wasn¡¯t the type of girl who¡¯d usually be spreading her legs for me. My conquests had always been flirtatious to the extreme, disying their curves, pouts, and giggles. They were used to being the center of attention,fortable, and spoiled  like my daughter was  showered inpliments and gifts from the moment they were born. Grace and her friends had never had to handle the word no. Neither had most of my Oxford students.


    Rosie was very, very different.


    She pulled her legs up under herself before she began talking. I loved howfortable she looked in this ce. Howfortable she was with me.


    ¡°I¡¯m not like people think I am,¡± she said. ¡°So, I guess that makes two of us, doesn¡¯t it? People think I¡¯m just a little girl in thick-rimmed sses, chewing up regr teenage drama around my mum being caught up with losers. You probably think that, too. But I¡¯m not.¡±


    ¡°On the contrary,¡± I told her. ¡°If anything, I think the opposite. I doubt you¡¯ve had the freedom of swimming in the innocence of life. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve witnessed the dregs of human behavior in this ce, right from the very beginning. What should have been your formative years have not been very kind to you.¡±


    The truth in my words seemed to subdue her. She fiddled with one of the buttons on the shirt she was wearing. She¡¯d taken me aback with the randomness of her Katreya questions earlier, so I opted to dig deep with my own.


    ¡°How many fathers have you known? A fair few? Have your mother¡¯s partners stepped in like shining stepdaddies in the main, until their rtionship turned sour?¡±


    ¡°Quite a few of them, yeah.¡±


    ¡°I was correct, then. There have been a number.¡±


    She sighed. ¡°Mum thinks every guy who walks through the door is her soulmate. The knight in Brenham Drive armor is going to give her all the love in the world. I used to believe her. I¡¯ve always been a storybook reader. I always hoped she¡¯d find the hero of her own.¡±


    ¡°The honeymoon period doesn¡¯tst all that long, I imagine.¡±


    She smiled sadly. ¡°No, it doesn¡¯t. Cheats, assholes, druggies. There is a whole card deck full of idiots around here. Scottie has been the longest-serving stepdaddy, actually and he¡¯s the very worst. He yed the knight in shining armor as a guy possessed early on, but it was obvious to me, right from the start. He¡¯s shit, selfish, and doesn¡¯t respect anyone. Not even his son.¡±


    I took my cigarette over to the window. I had nothing to pass judgment on regarding those statements. The loved ones I¡¯d called home would have all said the same about me. I had no ce to condemn Scottie for being a selfish cunt, but I did have a ce to condemn him for being an abusive, violent criminal. He¡¯d burn in hell along with me but on a much higher heat.


    ¡°I wish he¡¯d just fuck off, once and for all,¡± Rosie said. ¡°He tears Mum to pieces, and she¡¯s still always desperate to take him back. It¡¯s like the worse he makes her feel, the more she feels she needs him. Sad, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    I pushed the window open as wide as it would go and lit up my cigarette.


    ¡°Sad, but no doubt true. He¡¯s a leech of confidence who leaves a trail of positive breadcrumbs as a reward. I¡¯m sure he¡¯s quite proficient at it.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s got her like a fish on a line.¡±


    ¡°Indeed.¡±


    I saw the pain in her eyes.


    ¡°Any ideas how I get him the hell away from her, then? I don¡¯t exactly have a stash of cash for a hitman.¡± She tried to lighten her words with augh. ¡°Don¡¯t suppose you¡¯ve got a few thousand you could lend me to get the job done, have you? I¡¯ll pay you back over the next eight hundred years.¡±


    In theory, I had a lot more than a few thousand. Outside of my professor role, I was co-owner of my wife¡¯s therapy business. We¡¯d started it up together using a chunk of my inheritance, and it had flown high on a national scale, me plugging away at it like a fiend at every opportunity. If Katreya and I proceeded with a divorce and went through the proper channels, I¡¯d be extremely wealthy. As it happens, I¡¯d unloaded just one set of my savings into a new bank ount when I left Oxford, taking out a decent chunk of cash that I¡¯d been spending frugally.


    It struck me then just how deeply I must have sunk into the dregs of Crenham Drive. Rosie didn¡¯t seem to have the slightest clue as to the full extent of my wealth. These days I likely appeared as nothing more than a dropout with a posh ent.


    ¡°I hate every single cell in Scottie¡¯s body,¡± she said, and the pain on her face was strong enough that it made my gut twist.


    The guy did deserve a hitman as far as I was concerned, purely from the hurt he¡¯d put in her eyes, let alone her mother¡¯s. Something struck me deep  a fire of rage that shot right from the core of me. I hadn¡¯t known abusers like him before. Too sheltered, most likely. The thought of that cunt hurting the girl in front of me was ammunition enough for me to want to destroy him. To annihte his vile excuse of a soul.


    One thing was for certain. I wouldn¡¯t let him hurt her again, no matter the cost involved.


    ¡°That situation will be resolved, I can assure you,¡± I told her, but she shrugged.


    ¡°Maybe one day. If Mum finally sees him for the asshole that he is. I¡¯m not holding my breath, though.¡±


    I didn¡¯t borate on my intentions. Rosie didn¡¯t need to be caught up in the darkness I was nning.


    ¡°Tell me more,¡± I said. ¡°College, lifestyle, other secrets. What makes you you?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s the thing,¡± she said. ¡°None of it makes me who I am. I don¡¯t know who I am anymore. College does nothing, neither does school. Even though most of the kids were from this same grotty estate, most of them still seemed to be kids. I hung around with some of them, sure. They yed games, andughed and joked, all hanging out together, ying cool, but I never felt like a part of them. There was only one girl I was close to. She was my everything. We were glued at the hip for years.¡±


    That took me aback.


    ¡°Really?¡±


    She nodded. ¡°Yeah. Her name was Molly.¡±This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    ¡°What happened to her?¡±


    Rosie¡¯s smile was beautiful.


    ¡°Her mum did meet a knight in shining armor. She crossed paths with a guy in a bar who was on a work trip from London. Jacob was his name. I think he was only in Club Triumph as a joke with his drunk friends. Shannon ended up moving to London with him, to a nice ce in Kensington. I visited them once, but I didn¡¯t get on with Molly¡¯s new friends. We stayed in touch for a bit, but it faded. I didn¡¯t want to hold her back.¡±


    ¡°You must have been very jealous. What a lucky girl.¡±


    ¡°Not jealous, no. Sad to lose her  understatement  but not jealous. Molly and Shannon deserved it.¡± She paused. ¡°Mum didn¡¯t take it as well as I did. Shannon was a good friend of hers, too. They¡¯d see each other a lot, both of them having the same load of shit with people they were hooked up with. Me and Molly would sit in her room together, chatting through life, the universe, and the shithole we called home. But then, all of a sudden, they were gone. Jacob only stayed once in their apartment before he took them away. Maybe that¡¯s what made it harsher. It was almost like they¡¯d died. One minute is always there, every single day, and the next is gone. Just like that.¡± ¡°I see.¡±


    The thought made me feel ufortable. The parallel gave me a shiver.

 Chapter 100

    I focused back on Rosie as she carried on.


    ¡°Mum thought it was because she wasn¡¯t good enough. She¡¯d been at Triumph on the same night. She saw Jacob first actually. It was she who pointed him out. She said if she¡¯d have been the pretty one¡­ the funnier one¡­ the cooler one¡­ the smarter one¡­¡± Her voice trailed off. ¡°It fucked her up.¡±


    I could imagine that. Her mother¡¯s self-confidence was likely shredded to pieces  what little she may have had of it.


    ¡°How old were you when they moved away?¡±


    ¡°Eleven. My teachers thought I¡¯d get back up and close to other kids after that, but I didn¡¯t. And I was so depressed that Mum was so depressed, they put me forward for counselling. Listening through my problems, most likely scribbling down daddy issues rather than the fact that I was alone, trying to care for a mum that couldn¡¯t take care of herself.¡± She looked over at me as I took a long drag of my cigarette. ¡°She met Scottie in Triumph, you know? The same club. I think she always hoped she¡¯d find another Jacob in there, but she found the total opposite.¡±T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    I used the opportunity to steer into him.


    ¡°Scottie wasn¡¯t there on a business trip from London. What does he do?¡±


    ¡°He works in roofing. Just a shame health and safety is so strict, otherwise maybe he¡¯d fall off a building.¡±


    ¡°Long days at work, at least.¡±


    ¡°Small mercies.¡±


    ¡°Quite.¡± I hoped I wasn¡¯t being too obvious. ¡°What hours does he work? Does he work away?¡±


    She saw through me or thought she did.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. He leaves early. I¡¯ll be able to head in and get my college stuff without him being in the apartment.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure about that? How early exactly?¡±


    ¡°Five a. m.,¡± she said, and her smile was so genuine it gave me a pang. ¡°Thanks for caring. It means a lot. It¡¯s great to have somewhere to go. I haven¡¯t had anywhere genuine, not since Molly.¡±


    ¡°Molly wasn¡¯t a sex-addicted alcoholic who mmed his cock into you when you needed support.¡± Iughed, but Rosie¡¯s face lit up, unexpectedly.


    ¡°Is that a promise? Are you going to fuck me?¡±


    I stubbed my cigarette out in the ashtray on the windowsill. ¡°I really shouldn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Who says so?¡±


    I smirked. ¡°Almost all of conventional society. I think a jury would vote against it.¡±


    She didn¡¯t smirk back. ¡°Who gives a fuck about conventional society? Do you? Really?¡±


    Rosie was serious. Her eyes were digging.


    ¡°I used to, yes,¡± I told her. ¡°I used to care very, very much.¡±


    ¡°I used to think Molly would invite me over to live with her one day, or Mum would meet someone great and stop crying, or Scottie would one day stop being a nasty, violent asshole, but things change.¡±


    ¡°We be disillusioned.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± she said. ¡°So, can you get disillusioned about this, please? You don¡¯t have to be a nobleman. Not with me.¡±


    Iughed, loving her faith in me.


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t be a nobleman if I tried. That¡¯s what led me here in the first ce, after all.¡±


    She didn¡¯tugh back.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be one, then. I¡¯m not asking you to be. I don¡¯t need you to be squeaky clean and perfect.¡±


    I returned to the sofa. Her breaths quickened as I took a seat beside her.


    ¡°You deserve a Jacob of your own,¡± I told her. ¡°You deserve someone a lot better than a forty-eight-year-old sicko who wants to fuck you senseless at every opportunity.¡±


    She took a deep breath.


    ¡°That was amazing what you did. You made me feel like the greatest goddess in the world. I¡¯ve been thinking about the girl in the photos all the time. It drives me crazy because that¡¯s what I want. I want you.¡±


    Her honesty was impressive, but she was on the wrong track. It wouldn¡¯t be good for her.


    ¡°I think you should reconsider that standpoint,¡± I said. ¡°Aside from eating you out, all I did was pull an abusive idiot away from your mother and offer you a ce to stay. That doesn¡¯t give me a halo. It gives me a basic conscience.¡±


    ¡°It isn¡¯t just about what you¡¯ve done for me¡­ I¡¯d be here anyway.¡±


    I tipped my head. ¡°Really? You¡¯d be here with me, the creepy man upstairs, if it weren¡¯t for the fact that I intervened when you were desperate?¡±


    Her eyes stayed firmly on mine. ¡°Yeah, I would be. I¡¯ve been thinking about more than just the way you saved Mum from Scott that night. A lot more.¡± She looked away from me with another blush. ¡°I¡¯d be here anyway, regardless of Scottie. You¡¯re, um¡­¡±


    She pushed her sses up her nose in her trademark manner. It gave me a hard cock and a pang in the ribs, both in sync.


    I loved the way she giggled, just a little.


    ¡°You¡¯re pretty cool, you know, Julian? Hot, smart, and brilliant. You¡¯re a lot more than a creepy man upstairs.¡±


    It knocked me aback, hugely. I¡¯d been approached and appreciated by many young girls in my life, but they had seen me against a different backdrop. Proud, sessful, preened and polished. Not as a freaky loser in a suit from Crenham Drive.


    I had to keep myself straight. It would have been the easiest thing in the world to m her straight down onto the cushions and take her virginity like a beast on a mission.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to fuck you tonight. You aren¡¯t in a position to have a clear head on things.¡±


    She shrugged. ¡°What about when I do have a clear head on things? I¡¯ll still want it tomorrow, even when I¡¯m exhausted after college. I¡¯ll want it every single minute until you give it to me.¡±


    I¡¯d forgotten all about the time. We were deep into the early hours, with Rosie due at college, and my office monotony starting for a whole new week in the morning. Now definitely wasn¡¯t the time to be easing my way into her virginity.


    ¡°I shouldn¡¯t take advantage of you,¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯re a vulnerable girl in a difficult situation, with your whole life ahead of you.¡±


    She brushed it aside. ¡°Sure, yeah. Just say you¡¯ll think about fucking me, will you?¡±


    There was a tiny glimpse of her humor again. It was so genuine, and so quietly her, that I wished I could bottle it. It would be a bestseller on the essence front. Shame I couldn¡¯t bottle that glorious essence of hers and press it to the pages of one of my ancient thriller novels. A character like her might well top the charts.


    If only she knew it. She had no real faith in herself whatsoever. I wished she could see herself through my eyes, even for just a second.


    ¡°Time for bed,¡± I said, getting up to hold out a hand.


    ¡°Fine,¡± she said and let me pull her to her feet. It was bing beautifully familiar.


    She followed me into the bathroom, using her new toothbrush as I used my old one. There was a bizarre connection forming between us, making this joint bedtime ritual almost cathartic in its simplicity. I¡¯d forgotten what it felt like to share the basics with someone. Not once had any of my ythings seen my daily, mundane practices.


    I left Rosie alone as she hovered by the toilet. I didn¡¯t want to impose that kind of privacy, even though my cock was desperate to see every single inch and spectacle of her, so I went on through to the bedroom. I got the bed ready for her, fluffing up the pillows. I was still positioning them when she appeared in the doorway.


    ¡°Will you stay in here with me?¡± she asked. ¡°You don¡¯t have to fuck me, you can just sleep.¡±


    ¡°If I stay in here, I will want to fuck you, Rosie. A lot.¡±


    ¡°Even more reason to stay in here, then.¡± She yawned with a grin, the sweetness in her shining. ¡°Please, Julian. I like, having you close. Plus, you won¡¯t have to sleep on the sofa. Double win.¡±


    It was tempting. I¡¯d love nothing more than to hold her tight. Could I trust my resolve, though? Really?


    She shuffled on her feet like she was awaiting a verdict, and there was no doubt that I¡¯d have to give it a try.


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ll sleep in here with you,¡± I said.


    She looked as though I¡¯d bestowed an honor. Crazy, how little a girl of her character and beauty hade to expect from life.


    Grinning like a kid on Christmas Day morning, she whipped my shirt off over her head and dropped it on the floor. ¡°Which side do you sleep on?¡± she asked, hands on her tiny hips.


    I stared at her naked beauty but only for moments before I grabbed up the shirt and flung it at her.


    ¡°The shirt stays on,¡± I said despite my raging hard-on.


    She rolled her eyes and made a show of wriggling slowly back into the shirt.


    ¡°I¡¯m easy,¡± I said, ¡°you choose,¡± and indicated to the bed.


    She climbed into bed, watching me as I loosened my tie.


    Of course¡­ she hadn¡¯t seen me naked.

 Chapter 101

    She didn¡¯t take her sses off as she got settled under the covers. Her eyes were all on me as I stripped off my shirt, socks, and trousers. I was positive she could see my swollen cock in my boxers, but I slid into bed beside her and pulled the covers up high, trying to y it down.


    She handed me her sses before I got the light. I put them gently on the bedside table as she sighed and curled up against my side.


    It was the most natural thing to hold her close and nt a kiss on her head once I¡¯d turned the light off.


    ¡°Goodnight, sweetheart,¡± I said in the darkness.


    ¡°Night,¡± she said back. ¡°I don¡¯t want to be your sweetheart, though. I want to be the girl in the photos.¡±


    I didn¡¯t respond to that, just kept her in my arms.


    The curtains were aglow with both the orange of streemps and the white of the moon as her breaths deepened. I waited, staring up at the ceiling as she fell into the depths of sleep, d she was finding some sce in this ce.


    There was no way I¡¯d be sleeping tonight, though.


    As Rosie calmed, my senses heightened. I was worth nothing inparison to her being worth everything. She was a pure lightness against my pitch-dark filth, and there was no way I wanted to bring her down with me into my seedy rabbit hole. I wanted to set her free and up high, without being shackled in hell with the idiot her mother was at the mercy of, and I¡¯d do it. No matter the consequences.


    When the sweet little angel was intoinand, I was able to slide away without waking her up. I stood and watched her sleeping awhile, the glow from the window lighting her up like a masterpiece.


    I knew what I needed to do.


    It was gone four a. m. when I left the bedroom, picking up my clothes from the floor on the way. I eased the door closed behind me, being careful not to make a sound as I got myself dressed in the bathroom. My eyes were hollow and cold as I stared at myself in the mirror, and they needed to be because I was determined to go through with saving Rosie, whatever the cost.


    I took three swigs of whisky from the bottle while I had another cigarette in the living room.


    I was going to do this. I was going to set Rosie free from the idiot downstairs.


    Crenham Drive was still dark outside as five a. m. approached. I felt like an alien, deranged version of my previous self as I slid open my kitchen drawer. I was more insane than I¡¯d ever been, but I felt surprisingly calm alongside it. A pair of opposites in myself maized.


    I was extremely careful as I made my way downstairs to the alcove by the main entrance door. I ensured I was concealed in darkness, hidden from the puny flickering overhead light by the time I heard thumping footsteps sounding on the stairs.This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    I knew who they belonged to.


    My efforts at camouge had been worthwhile. The cunt known as Scottie had no idea I was lurking in the shadows when he passed me by. The rage was rife in my limbs as I mmed up against him from behind and shunted him into the alcove, spinning him to face me. I pped my hand straight over his mouth, picturing the vile piece of shit up close to Rosie.


    That would never happen again.


    He tried to struggle, but it was useless. He stopped deadly still when I pressed the point of the knife into the base of his ribcage.


    ¡°Don¡¯t even think about moving. Or I swear to God, you¡¯ll fucking regret it.¡±


    My chef¡¯s knife was still threatening him as I let his mouth free.


    ¡°You¡¯re fucking mental!¡± he said. ¡°What the fuck do you think you¡¯re doing?!¡±


    He was shaking like a leaf. Not such a badass after all.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m doing anything,¡± I said calmly. ¡°I know exactly what I¡¯m doing, and that¡¯s giving you one chance. You have one tiny chance to save your life, or believe me, I¡¯ll be taking it from you. Call it mercy and give me fucking thanks.¡±


    He likely didn¡¯t believe me, until he saw the true depth of hate in my stare.


    Hismon sense didn¡¯t believe his heart, though. His idiocy still battled the truth.


    ¡°You¡¯re a fucking headcase!¡± he said, but his tone was weaker now.


    I pulled the knife away because I wasn¡¯t scared of him in the slightest. I¡¯d have had him in a chokehold within seconds if I needed to.


    ¡°I fucking mean it,¡± I told him, eyes cold as ice. ¡°If you ever so much as look at Rosie again, I will kill you.¡±


    His pitiful eyes widened as my threat registered. ¡°Rosie? What the fuck?! What did she say to you?¡±


    I pressed my arm up tight to his neck.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you know what she said to me, and I can assure you, I¡¯m not fucking ying. If you have any sense in that thick skull of yours, then you¡¯ll pay heed, because I won¡¯t be telling you again.¡± I smiled down at him. ¡°You know, believe it or not, I used to do jujitsu when I was younger. I¡¯m a bit out of practice, but I¡¯m still perfectly capable of breaking someone¡¯s limbs one by one, and I¡¯m also capable of putting a knife in your ribcage. If you go near Rosie again, I¡¯ll be showing you.¡±


    ¡°Are you out of your fucking head?!¡±


    ¡°Most likely,¡± I said. ¡°Who cares? The oue will be the same, regardless. Rosie will be free of you, and so will Beverly. That¡¯s worth both of our pitiful souls. I¡¯ll give mine dly, to take yours.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re joking, right?¡± he said. ¡°You are fucking mental. You¡¯re hardly a fucking killer!¡±


    He was wrong on that. The tension in my veins sang to a very different tune. At that moment, in the craze of the plummet to my true, honest darkness, I felt my soul being set free. One final light in the depths of my miserable end.


    I watched my words prate his measly excuse for a brain.


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing more dangerous than someone who has nothing to live for,¡± I said. ¡°Believe me, I¡¯ll kill you quite happily on my way out. I¡¯ll be leaving anyway.¡±


    Scottie didn¡¯t speak after that, just kept his eyes locked on mine. My stare won. He lost the battle of wills as I gave him the instructions.


    ¡°I think you¡¯ll have a pressing reason to leave this ce before you¡¯re due toe back tonight, won¡¯t you? Who knows, maybe you¡¯ll get an irresistible job offer from far away. A job overseas, perhaps? Something too opportunistic to ignore?¡±


    He gave the slightest hint of a nod, which only confirmed it. He was too weak to fight me.


    I carried on talking.


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t want to upset Beverly, of course. No, no. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll address your sudden career exit in a way that doesn¡¯t destroy her confidence. I¡¯m positive you¡¯ll be able to convey just how much you love her, despite you being away for the foreseeable.¡±


    At that, I crushed his windpipe with my arm until he was retching. He sucked in a huge, desperate breath when I threw him to the floor.


    ¡°I¡¯ve left no marks on you, of course,¡± I said, as he crawled away from me. ¡°I can¡¯t imagine the police would take any allegations you might make all that seriously. Karma is one hell of a callous bitch, isn¡¯t she?¡±


    Scottie didn¡¯t try to protest, or fight, just kept on crawling until he reached the front door.


    ¡°Farewell, you pitiful cunt,¡± I said, my adrenaline pulsing as he climbed to his feet and scrambled away.


    He didn¡¯t look back, and that merely confirmed it. I¡¯d seeded. My dark soul had mmed against the ice of hell, and I¡¯d fulfilled the remains of a purpose. I¡¯d negated the threat of the man who¡¯d chewed up the faith of the sweet little angel upstairs.


    I smiled at the morning as I lit up a cigarette outside, with my knife buried inside my suit jacket. It was the first sliver of pride I¡¯d felt in years.

 Chapter 102

    ROSIE


    I awoke with a start to find Julian wasn¡¯t lying in bed next to me. I put on my sses and grabbed my phone to check the time. It was still early enough to see him before college. I was still in his shirt, smiling a happy grin as I found him leaning against the kitchen counter with a bowl of muesli. He was already dressed. Suited. Not a surprise, but¡­ his hair was more styled this morning. His tie was knotted perfectly.


    He looked gorgeous.


    ¡°Hey,¡± I said, feeling weirdly nervous.


    ¡°Hello,¡± he replied, and his smile put me at ease. He put his bowl down and went to the fridge. ¡°What would you like for breakfast? I have bacon and eggs¡­ how about another fry-up? I have to leave soon, but I can get you started. Let¡¯s get you an orange juice, too. How about that?¡± He paused with another smile. Looking me up and down. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful lying there.¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t snoring, then?¡±


    ¡°Ha, no. No. Although you¡¯d still look cute as a snoring angel. Anyway, breakfast. What would you like?¡±


    He was so attentive that it took me aback. I still wasn¡¯t used to someone taking care of me.


    I wasn¡¯t feeling all that hungry. My stomach had fluttered just looking at him.


    ¡°I¡¯d love some of your muesli, please.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure? No fry up?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure,¡± I said. ¡°Muesli is great.¡±


    ¡°Right,¡± he said. ¡°Muesli it is.¡±


    His bowl was still half full as he busied himself getting me mine. I watched him in fascination, enjoying the spring in his step. He seemed so different this morning.


    ¡°Here you go,¡± he said, handing me a bowl and a ss of juice.T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°Thanks.¡±


    ¡°You look very fresh considering you only had a few hours of sleep,¡± he said.


    ¡°Yeah, I feel pretty rested.¡±


    It was true. I did. Even though I should have been bleary-eyed and exhausted, I felt excited enough that I could have danced around the room. Already, I was close enough to Julian to want to stay here for a lifetime. The memory of Scottie¡¯s bullshit downstairs felt like it was buried in a pit, far away.


    ¡°I have to be off to work,¡± he said. ¡°Please feel free to make yourself at home, of course. Take your time.¡±


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I said again, realizing it was bing a bit of a mantra. I was thanking him for so much that it was getting unreal.


    ¡°You¡¯re very wee,¡± he said and rinsed his bowl in the sink.


    He must have been way more tired than I was, but he wasn¡¯t showing it.


    I wished there was no work for him today, and no college for me. I wanted to curl up with him, talk with him, and explore his body as he explored mine. There was so much I still needed to know. So many questions¡­


    I wondered where exactly he worked, and who he worked with. I wondered what he was like in the office, and whether people thought he was as amazing as I did. I wondered what he did for true fun, and not this excuse for a life he¡¯d plunged himself into in shame. He used to be an English professor, I knew, but not much else. Not really. Why did he be one? Did he like reading, like I did? What did he read? I knew he liked writing. So, what did he write? When? Why? How? I didn¡¯t know a thing.


    He dried his bowl and put it back in the cupboard. ¡°I¡¯d best be going now.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll take a shower,¡± I told him. ¡°And then I¡¯ll head downstairs. Scottie will be gone now.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯m sure he will be.¡±


    He hovered as he passed me, and I didn¡¯t know what to do. I wanted to pull him close and tug him back to the bedroom, begging him to show me my first time and make me like the girl in the photos, but I couldn¡¯t. It was too bright and too early, and I was too gawky as I stood there.


    ¡°I¡¯ll see you again soon,¡± he said and kissed me on the forehead before he walked on by.


    Soon. It sounded quite vague.


    ¡°Wait¡­¡± I said, my bowl still in my hand as I followed him through to the living room. ¡°When you say soon, do you mean¡­ do you, um, want to see me again? As in have me here? Because I¡¯d love to be up here with you and away from Scottie.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d love to have you here with me again,¡± he said. ¡°But we need to make sensible choices. Let¡¯s see how you feel about things when you are back at home this evening after work. Maybe things will be considerably calmer for you downstairs.¡±


    I doubted that somehow. Scottie would be holed up with Mum, still in the stupid loved-up phase, rushing around after him like he was king of the world. I didn¡¯t want to be a part of that. I didn¡¯t want to see the nasty prick for the rest of my life. The thought ofing face-to-face with him again gave me shivers.


    ¡°We¡¯ll see, then,¡± I said, not wanting to put more pressure on his door. I wanted to be here because he wanted me here, not because I was a little stray girl with nowhere else to go.


    His eyes were smiling as he ced his hand on the door handle.


    ¡°Have a good day, sweetheart.¡±


    ¡°You, too.¡±


    The apartment was so quiet without him. It felt almost forbidden to wash my bowl in his sink and put the kettle on for a coffee. The urge to know him only increased in his absence.


    I looked around through new eyes, trying to get a feel for the man who¡¯d treated me like a goddessst night. There was a pull into the mystery of everything. His past, his present, and his future. I wanted to be here a whole lot more¡­


    I wanted to be with him.


    I¡¯d known it since before he¡¯d yed a tune with my body, but his touch had cemented it firmer than words. I wanted Julian. Crazy age gap or not. Seedy games, and a twisted family past or not. None of it would make any difference. My heart was already too invested in my savior to want out.

 Chapter 103

    I helped myself to a towel and took a shower before facing the music downstairs. I knew Scottie would be gone for work, but I¡¯d have to see Mum as I got dressed for college, and I¡¯d have to brave the deceit of ying down the truth. Scottie had more power over her than I did. He¡¯d whisper in her ear and have her believe any lies he wanted to spin. I didn¡¯t want to throw her into that drama. She dealt with enough already.


    ¡°Hi, Mum!¡± I called out as I stepped into our hallway.


    I found her on the sofa with a coffee. She didn¡¯t look at me, her fingers too busy tapping on her phone.


    ¡°You ok?¡± I asked, nerves spiking at the realisation she might ask me where the hell I¡¯d been, but as it turned out, she didn¡¯t. She was too caught up in her own news as she looked at me.


    ¡°Scottie¡¯s got a job in Scond. A new one. He got the offer this morning. On a load more money. He had to leave today, straight off.¡±


    ¡°Whoa.¡±


    I sat down next to her, with a mash of different emotions. Relief for me, but hurt for her, because she¡¯d no doubt hit the floor with him leaving. I couldn¡¯t believe he was upping and leaving and dumping her already.


    ¡°Shit,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m really sorry.¡±


    I expected sobs, but she smiled as another message came through.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s ok. He¡¯s not leaving me, he¡¯s just leaving here. The job offer was just too good, and if he loves me, which he does, then it¡¯ll be better for us. We¡¯ll have a much better future when he¡¯s settled up there. I might even go up there with him, when you¡¯re finished at college. He says he wants that more than anything.¡±


    Scottie was a liar. Wanting that more than anything meant nothing, and things felt off. Really off. I wanted to quiz her on what exactly he¡¯d said, but I didn¡¯t want to stab her with my words. She was happy for now. That¡¯s all that mattered.


    She put a hand on her heart like she was reading a marriage proposal when another message came through. I was blind as to what loved-up bullshit he was spinning her, but it was working. She seemed like she¡¯d been pulled into an imaginary fairytale. I was just grateful that neither of us would have to see his nasty, weasel face in here for a while. Fate had been kind.


    Mum didn¡¯t notice that I¡¯d already taken a shower when I disappeared into my room to get ready for college. She didn¡¯t so much as ask where I¡¯d been, just sat there in the same spot, still burning up as the messages kept buzzing. She barely noticed when I said goodbye and set off with my bag on my back.


    I¡¯d have happily called up Scottie¡¯s new employer myself and given them a massive thank you, begging them to keep him up there for all time. Maybe miracles can happen. For the time being, a mini miracle was certainly a massive godsend.


    College went by in a blur. I tried to focus, keeping my in-faced mask up high while everyone chatted and gossiped around me. I did my lessons, doing my best to concentrate, but the swirl of events back home were prickling my senses. So much to take in¡­ all of it good¡­


    They say good luckes in threes, and they weren¡¯t lying.


    One. Julian was gorgeous and I adored him. I adored us. I adored the man who was such a saint to me. Two. Scottie was gone, far away, and three, Mum wasn¡¯t torn to pieces. At least not for now.


    For once I felt like things were slotting into a world of good fortune. I was savouring every second as I set off on my way home. The dark clouds were giving me a break for once, so I let myself be happy. Life was kind.


    I must have been smiling like crazy when Jayden appeared across the street, scoping out everyone walking away from college. I hoped he¡¯d be as pleased as I was that his dad had been granted such an opportunity out of nowhere. But no. He wasn¡¯t. He looked like he wanted me to burst into mes when he marched over, grabbing my elbow and tugging me aside.


    ¡°Hey! What the hell¡¯s up?¡± I asked, but he kept his mouth shut until we were out of view, in the alleyway that led off to the sports field. It took him a few moments to collect himself.This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    ¡°You already know what the fuck¡¯s up!¡± he said.


    I knew Scottie would be leaving Jayden alone for a bit, but a good opportunity was a good opportunity. There were phones and video calls, after all.


    But wait¡­


    There was more to it than that. There must have been. His eyes were raging.


    But this was none of my business. Not really.


    ¡°Jayden, seriously. If this is about your dad moving to Scond, it¡¯s got nothing to do with me or my mum.¡±


    He looked at me like I was insane.


    ¡°You know full well he hasn¡¯t gone to fucking Scond! Cut the bullshit!¡±


    I didn¡¯t understand. My saucer eyes must have said it all, because he stared at me, trying to dig in deep.


    ¡°You¡¯re going to have to exin things,¡± I said. ¡°Because I don¡¯t have a clue what this is about.


    As far as I know, your dad told Mum he¡¯s been offered a new job in Scond this morning, and he¡¯s going right away. More money, great prospects. Tell him not to go, if you want, but that¡¯s between you and him.¡±


    Jayden sneered. ¡°You are kidding, right? Don¡¯t y fucking dumb!¡±


    His rage triggered a re in return. He was looking at me like I was garbage.


    ¡°I¡¯m not ying fucking dumb about anything! What¡¯s the problem here?¡±


    My mind raced through things. Something wasn¡¯t right behind the scenes, and if Scottie had an ulterior motive for fucking off somewhere¡­ if he was being an asshole¡­ if Jayden was ming me or Mum for not keeping his dad around here¡­


    ¡°Is he fucking someone else?¡± I asked. ¡°Is Scond a cover for leaving Mum? Because if it is, he can at least be honest about it. Not leave her hanging on like he¡¯s a true love from a distance. And that¡¯s hardly my fault, is it?¡±


    ¡°HE¡¯S NOT FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE, AND HE¡¯S NOT IN


    FUCKING SCOTLAND!¡± Jayden yelled, then cursed to himself and lowered his voice, ¡°He grabbed his stuff this morning in a holdall and fucked off, because he HAD to.¡±


    He looked suspicious again, like I really was ying dumb. But I wasn¡¯t. I was still reeling, my brain trying to catch up with what was going on.


    ¡°Why would he have to?¡±


    Jayden¡¯s eyes were hot on mine.


    ¡°Because someone is out to kill him if he doesn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°What the¡±


    The panic was intense, because if someone was out to kill Scottie, what the fuck would that mean for my mum? Was she involved? Was she in danger? Was I?


    I couldn¡¯t hold back my own voice, shouting as loudly as Jayden.


    ¡°WHAT THE FUCK HAS YOUR DAD BEEN GETTING INVOLVED WITH?!¡±


    ¡°YOU!¡± he yelled back. ¡°My dad has been getting involved with YOU, Rosie! And that freak of a psycho fuck who lives upstairs!¡±


    My senses reeled to another level. I spoke my thoughts out loud, hit hard.


    ¡°The psycho fuck who lives¡­¡± My voice trailed off as his words kicked in. ¡°You mean Julian? Really? You mean Julian? From apartment six?¡±


    ¡°YES! The freak upstairs! He told my dad he¡¯ll fucking kill him if he doesn¡¯t get the fuck out of town. And it¡¯s about YOU! What the fuck did you tell the creep?!¡±


    I was still trying to fathom what he was talking about. I still didn¡¯t know.


    ¡°WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?!¡± Jayden yelled again, with his hands in his hair. ¡°Because you told him SOMETHING. And that SOMETHING was enough that he¡¯ll kill Dad over it, and he must have meant it, because Dad¡¯s on the fucking run!¡±


    I felt shivers up my spine. I tried to frame the craziness.


    ¡°You¡¯re saying that Julian threatened your dad?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, that fucking creep! He held a knife to Dad this morning as he was off to work. I¡¯m not fucking joking. A fucking KNIFE! Right in his ribcage!¡±


    I would haveughed out loud at how ridiculous that sounded if my senses hadn¡¯t tingled. Call it instinct¡­ intuition¡­ I don¡¯t know, but I knew he was telling the truth.


    ¡°He was full on fucking serious!¡± Jayden carried on. ¡°Dad wouldn¡¯t have bailed if he wasn¡¯t. He¡¯s a lot of things, but he¡¯s not a total pussy.¡±

 Chapter 104

    I was still battling my mind as heunched into another stream.


    ¡°You should fucking know about this, because it was down to YOU! He told Dad to stay away from YOU!¡± He paused, his eyes still angry. ¡°So, why?! Why the fuck did he tell Dad to fuck off because of you? What the fuck did you stir up?!¡±


    I tried topose my thoughts, but then, fuck it. I opted for the truth. There was only one reason.


    ¡°Your dad came into my room the other night and pinned me down on the bed. He told me to keep my mouth shut and not to cause any waves for him, or he¡¯d make me suffer for it. HE was serious, too. HE meant it, Jay. HE would hurt ME if I even thought of calling him out for beating my mum!¡±


    Jayden stepped back, shaking his head in hurt. His voice was nearly breaking when he said one simple word.


    ¡°Shit.¡±Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    ¡°Yeah, SHIT!¡± I said. ¡°He¡¯s a violent piece of shit, Jay, and you know it. He hurts Mum, and he¡¯d hurt me, too. Julian found out about it and rescued me. I guess it set him off somehow.¡±


    ¡°Somehow. Yeah, great. Somehow which meant he put a knife to Dad and threatened his life.¡±


    Even in the carnage of the revtion, I felt myself burning up with a different heat. I tried to picture Julian there, ordering Scottie to stay away, from me, with a knife.


    He¡¯d threatened Scottie¡¯s life for me. For ME.


    I managed to get some words out.


    ¡°What¡¯s happening now?¡± I asked Jay, and he shrugged.


    ¡°I dunno. Dad was freaking out, but he said not to tell anyone. He shouted me down when I said I was going to pull you up on it.¡±


    ¡°But you did it anyway?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I did! Because I wanted to hear what the fuck was going on, direct from you!¡±


    ¡°My mum doesn¡¯t know about any of this. So, what do you want me to tell her?¡±


    ¡°NOTHING!¡± Jay yelled, then leant in close. His anger was fading to hurt. ¡°Just keep it a secret, please. I¡¯ve already broken the fucking rules by opening my mouth. I don¡¯t want that creep chasing around after Dad, or your mum kicking off, or the police being involved or anything.¡±


    I stared into Jayden¡¯s eyes, as everything sank in. I felt sick. Everything spinning.


    Scottie was gone. On the run. Julian had threatened to kill him. Mum was in happynd, thinking Scottie was off on some career promotion up in the hignds. And me? I just didn¡¯t know what to do.


    Jayden regained hisposure before I did.


    ¡°I mean it. Don¡¯t tell your fucking mum. It¡¯ll bring shit down on all of us.¡± I managed a nod.


    ¡°Fine, yeah. I don¡¯t want to bring shit down on Mum. She¡¯s had enough already.¡±


    Jayden repositioned his bag on his shoulders, and I saw the start of tears in his eyes.


    ¡°You want to stay away from that psycho upstairs,¡± he said. ¡°He¡¯s out of his fucking mind.¡±


    He didn¡¯t give me the chance to respond before he turned and walked away, and I didn¡¯t call him back, because I couldn¡¯t. What would be the point in going over the same insane ground?


    I was practically sprinting when I rushed back to our apartment block. I couldn¡¯t think straight as I opened the main door and shot up the stairs. Mum wasn¡¯t in, she was working tonight, which was just as well as I was so wound up, I was pacing, still trying to understand.


    Julian threatened Scottie¡¯s life to keep him away from me.


    My college mask crumbled to pieces, and for the first time in three years I called up the pizza house¡¯s number on my phone.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I¡¯m sick,¡± I told the manager. ¡°There¡¯s no way I¡¯ll make it in tonight.¡±


    Luckily, Monday was our quietest day. Marcus would be able to manage.


    I watched the clock, pacing through every minute, counting down the moments until I¡¯d usually cross Julian¡¯s path in the corridor. My heart was pounding, nerves on fire, everything tingling.


    Out of shock.


    Out of gratitude.


    Out of love.


    Out of¡­ who fucking knows?


    But I didn¡¯t want to ost him in the corridor, in case anyone was around, so I waited, as calmly as possible, my eyes focused on the road outside through the window.


    Finally, I saw him approaching with a cigarette in his mouth.


    I pressed my ear to my front door so I could hear his footsteps pass on by, and then I counted down from one hundred, slowly, to make sure he¡¯d get upstairs¡­


    Fuck, how quickly I picked up my college bag when I reached zero. I slung it over my shoulder and stuck my head out into the corridor, checking for signs of neighbours. There were none, which was just as well, since I was bounding like a desperate gazelle as I locked up behind me and dashed upstairs.


    My knuckles were tiny taps, sharp and fast. I was holding my breath as I heard Julian reach the other side. I was staring up with huge eyes as he answered the door.


    I stepped on in and dropped my bag, and we stood, stare to stare, no words needed. He knew I knew, and I knew that he knew I knew, but it was all a tumble of emotions.


    ¡°You really did that?¡± I asked him.


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t know about it,¡± he said.


    ¡°Answer me, Julian. You really did that? You threatened Scottie?¡±


    My saviour was deadpan for a heartbeat, and the true power in his eyes ate me alive.


    ¡°Yes, I threatened Scottie. I told him to get the fuck out of here and nevere back. I had a knife to the cunt¡¯s ribs, and he crawled away like a pathetic little wimp.¡±


    It felt so weird to hear it said out loud from Julian himself.


    ¡°Would you have done it?¡± I asked. ¡°Would you really have killed Scottie?¡± Julian didn¡¯t flinch. His eyes were pure.


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯d have done it. I¡¯d have happily broken his limbs one by one and ploughed a knife through his ribs. I still would if he dared to threaten you again.¡±


    If he dared to threaten me again¡­


    My hero stepped up closer.


    ¡°You¡¯re safe now, Rosie. Scottie won¡¯t being back. Not if he¡¯s got even the slightest excuse for a brain.¡±


    But I didn¡¯t care about Scottie anymore, I didn¡¯t want to hear the sound of his name, because there was only one thing on this whole fucking earth I wanted to do.


    I threw myself into Julian¡¯s arms with such force that I knocked him backwards. I was as desperate as it¡¯s possible to be as I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist, needing him more than life itself. I took hold of his shoulders, squeezing tight before I kissed him.


    My lips met his like magic.


    His body worked on instinct to support mine, and we were lost.


    Consumed. Done for.


    I kissed my saviour, and my saviour held me tight and kissed me right back.

 Chapter 105

    JULIAN


    I was done for. Insane. There was nothing but her body and mine. The passion in her mouth, and the want in her eyes, and her frantic grip on my shoulders.


    I fell onto the sofa with Rosie¡¯s tiny body underneath me, both of us with desperate hands. Her fingers weren¡¯t nervous this time as they reached for my tie, her mouth still on mine as she tugged it free. I hitched up her skirt, and she was bucking, craving, needing. I didn¡¯t hold her back as she pushed me away far enough to undo my shirt. I shrugged it off and she ran her fingers down my chest, fascinated as her eyes roved over me. I was fierce in return, tugging her top off and over her head.


    There were her pretty little tits again, her nipples poking through thece of her bra. She gasped as I gripped her, squeezing before flicking my thumb.


    She must have been worried that my rational senses would return, because she whispered a delicate please, but she didn¡¯t need to. I was far too consumed for that.


    I shunted her up, so she was backed against the arm of the chesterfield, unclipping her bra to set her free  and she didn¡¯t hide from me, presenting her tits with a newly found confidence. She was as tangled up by the powers of lust as I was.


    Ipped at her tits, sucked at her nipples, tickling my fingers up her thigh until they reached her panties. They were already sopping wet as I pulled them to the side, and she shifted her legs, moaning as I found her clit.


    ¡°Do it,¡± she whispered. ¡°Fuck me. I want to be the girl in the photos!¡±


    But I didn¡¯t want her to be like any of the girls I¡¯d fucked before. She was a perfect canvas of innocence, too pure to taint.


    ¡°Please!¡± she said, but I soothed her with a gentle shhh, still ying her clit, ever so gently.


    ¡°I¡¯m not rushing this, sweetheart. Not for anything.¡±


    She closed her eyes and wriggled as I stripped her bare. I moaned at the sight of her, possessed by a new kind of lust. There was more to this than pure filth. It was an insane mix of contradictory needs. There were a whole host of characters I wanted to be at once. The chivalrous knight, worshipping the princess. The protective guardian, wanting to defend her at all costs. The filthy deviant that wanted to sully the innocent virgin. They all merged into one. An incredible epiphany of something greater. A devotion to this little goddess that set off a white light behind my eyes.


    My cock was so hard it was hurting, my whole body thumping with the base need for sex, but I didn¡¯t let it take over. I stroked the hair from her face.


    ¡°You deserve every single pleasure I can give you.¡±


    ¡°And I want to give you everything right back.¡±


    It was a beautiful statement, it made me smile.


    ¡°I am very honoured.¡±


    She shook her head. ¡°I¡¯m the one who¡¯s honoured. You¡¯re the one who threatened a guy¡¯s life to save me.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d take his life to save you.¡±


    She stroked my face. ¡°That¡¯s crazy.¡±T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org.


    I shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s the truth.¡±


    Her gratitude shone in her eyes, which only made me more determined. I wasn¡¯t going to plough my cock inside her and take her for the sake of base, primitive joy.


    ¡°Here,¡± I said. ¡°Let me show you something.¡±


    She was beautifully curious as I loosened my belt and pushed my trousers down. I freed my hard cock and she saw it in its full glory.


    I¡¯d been lucky enough for my gics to bless me with a cock that suited my 6ft 4 frame. I saw the way she registered it, and the contrast with her tininess. She gave me a whoa, and then looked up at me like a lucky child.


    ¡°Can I touch it?¡±


    I could haveughed at the sweet innocence.


    ¡°Yes, of course. Let me show you.¡±


    I took hold of her fingers and wrapped them around the base of my cock, giving her an idea of the motions as I guided her hand up and down. She kept going when I let her free, trying her best to keep mimicking, until she saw the first slickness of precum spilling from the tip. She rubbed the base of her thumb against it, eyes entranced.


    ¡°This is different than I thought,¡± she said. ¡°I mean, I¡¯ve read books and I¡¯ve watched videos, but it¡¯s not like getting up close and personal.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right, it isn¡¯t. And that¡¯s exactly why we should take it slow.¡±


    ¡°Does that feel good?¡± she asked as she yed, gliding her thumb up and down.


    ¡°It feels considerably more than good, Rosie. You¡¯re a star in the making.¡±


    She looked so proud, and it seemed to give her extra confidence. She crossed her legs and shuffled so she could use both of her hands. One gripped the base and the other kept on ying with tiny little motions, coaxing. I could have shunted my hips and used her dainty fingers to milk me hard, but I didn¡¯t. I let her explore. I let her guide the pace, as transfixed as she was.


    ¡°Can I taste it?¡±


    I smirked. ¡°Do you want to?¡±


    Sheughed. ¡°Yes, please.¡±


    ¡°Then be my guest.¡±


    She pushed her sses up her nose and it made me smile when she licked her lips. She giggled as she opened her mouth wide like a porn star, trying her best to fit me deep into the back of her throat. Iughed when she retched and choked, and sheughed along with me.


    ¡°Too much, too soon!¡± she coughed.


    ¡°Take it steady.¡±


    She was more tentative on her second attempt. She took the head into her mouth and sucked gently, her fingers still around the base of my cock. She closed her eyes as if she was savouring it, tongue flicking, and again, the base urges shot up from my balls. Part of me wanted to twist her hair in my hands and plough her mouth like she was a dirty little fuck doll. It was usually one of my favourite pastimes.


    ¡°That¡¯s it,¡± I said, when she began to bob her head, just a little. ¡°Like that. Just like that¡­¡±


    Then the words came so naturally.


    ¡°Good girl.¡±


    Good girl.


    I¡¯d used that phrase so many times it was like second nature, but my voice sounded strange. I meant it differently with her. Genuinely.


    The praise wasn¡¯t token and it wasn¡¯t filth. It was genuine. Rosie was a good girl.


    It spurred her on, moaning as she sucked. Her hands tried to help her, but they were new to it. It took a while for her to find her groove. She was concentrating so hard that her eyes were closed tight behind her sses. I left her free to y, encouraging with small thrusts of my hips to entuate a rhythm.


    ¡°Good girl,¡± I said again, and she sped up.


    My breaths shortened when she met my movements with hers. Her mouth worked my cock with a gentle hunger, and her sweet fingers had just enough grip to drive me wild. I could have shot my load at full force to the back of her throat, but I didn¡¯t want to do that. I wanted her to see mee.


    I eased her away from me, leaving a delicious string of spit from her mouth to the end of my cock, and when she looked up at me through her sses, lips puffy, I was muted. I was staring into the eyes of a filthy angel.


    In my experience, there is a Lilith in every sweet Eve. I¡¯d seen it plenty. Girls with cute grins, who¡¯d turn into kinky little bitches in the bedroom, but Rosie had a deeper depth to her callings. One littlep of her tongue as her eyes fixed on mine said everything.


    Rosie wanted to be a naughty girl, and it was far more of a contrast to her regr nature.


    There was no denying it anymore. Despite her inexperience and her pure innocence, and the sweetness in her smile, Rosie really did want to be the girl in the photos.


    ¡°Let me taste it,¡± she said. ¡°I want to taste it when youe.¡±


    ¡°Watch first,¡± I told her, and my voice was lower this time. More authoritative.


    She stared at my cock as I worked it, positioning herself on instinct so she would see me spurt above her like a seedy fountain. I spat on my fingers to lube myself up even more, and moved my hand fast. My balls were screaming, pounding, needing release.


    ¡°Watch me like a good girl,¡± I said, and she did watch, eyes staring at my swollen cock as I began to unload.


    The first spurt shot high,nding hard on her face to streak her sses, the next dribbled down the full length of me as I groaned and kept on pumping. The third was a fucking explosion, with waves in its aftermath, and I was too out of my head to keep a track of myself. I came and came and came.

 Chapter 106

    My ears were ringing as I looked down at the girl with cum smeared lenses, and the Lilith showed in her again. Rosiepped her tongue up against me like a dirty little kitten, tasting cum for the very first time.


    ¡°Do you like that?¡± I asked, and she nodded, showing me her tongue before she swallowed.


    ¡°Yeah, I love it.¡±


    ¡°Take some more then.¡±


    I did take hold of her hair this time. I pushed the swollen head of my dick in her mouth, dripping with cum as she slurped at me. She was a very, very good student.


    She smacked her lips as I pulled away and I didn¡¯t waste any time dropping down on top of her. I pinned her nicely and licked my cum from around her lips, before kissing her deeply enough to taste myself. It was pure, beautiful filth with a perfect angel.


    ¡°Your turn now,¡± I said after she¡¯d kissed me back, and she was already well on the road to an orgasm when I positioned myself so her pussy was in my face. ¡°Show me how you y,¡± I told her, and her fingers were frantic up close. Flickers against her slit, teasing her clit.


    She¡¯d have finished herself off in thirty seconds at the most if I hadn¡¯t stilled her hand.


    She moaned as I did it, in animalistic protest, but I gave her another shhh. I teased her pussy lips open to see her clit glistening, and I circled it with my cum-wet tongue.


    Cum on her clit, that¡¯s what I wanted to see.


    My insanity reached a whole new level of lunacy. My cock was already hard again at the rush of fresh fantasies. Crazy, wild wants that came from nothing but the raw, basal ether.


    These were new to me.


    I wanted to coat my fingers with my cum and push them all the way into Rosie¡¯s tight little cunt. It felt possessive, as though it would be the power of some kind of primal ownership that made no sense whatsoever to my rational mind.


    I was always so careful with the girls I fucked. Thest thing I wanted was any kind of ident, but I hadn¡¯t so much as asked Rosie if she was on any form of contraception. This really was bloody madness.


    No. NO. I wouldn¡¯t entertain it.


    I forced my crazy urges aside and focused on her. Her delicious pussy made that easy. Sucking on her clit was enough of a distraction to block out the world. The way she twisted her fingers in my hair and ground against me with whimpers of yes, yes, yes could keep me consumed for days on end.


    She moaned like a princess, squirming and panting and bucking as I made here, and then she thanked me with gasping breaths as I kissed my way back up her body. Her mouth was open for my kiss by the time I reached her.


    I loved the taste of pussy and cum in tandem  the prities of pure sex, in the beautiful twist of tongues.


    This particr set of prities was perfection in human form.


    Weid together on the chesterfield awhile in the aftermath of orgasm, with me at her back, my arms holding her tight. I breathed in the scent of her coconut hair as we calmed together, and it was a peace I hadn¡¯t known in months.


    I, Julian Lockley, am a sex addict, who likes the degradation of barely legal girls.


    I should have still been using it as a mantra to pull the fuck away from this divine creature, but I couldn¡¯t do it. I was too far gone.


    Being a sex addict who liked defiling girls didn¡¯t usually bring me peace in the aftermath. It brought me torment. The shadows of morality were usually ready to strike just as soon as I¡¯d burst through my lust, but I felt no torment whatsoever with Rosie. I kissed her shoulder like a lover as we rested, skin to skin. This was the personification of romance itself. A magical experience, worthy of savouring for ever. Pictures would never do this justice. My camera would be redundant at recording the intensity, nothing but a machinepared to the beauty of pure emotion.


    It was her who broke the silence with another sweet little thank you.


    Myugh was straight from the stomach. I rolled her to face me, nting a kiss on her lips amid theughter.


    ¡°Oh, Rosie, sweetheart. There is most definitely no need for thanks in this situation, believe me, the thank yous are all mine.¡±


    She still had cum smeared sses. She made no attempt to clear them as she giggled along with me.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care. I want to say thanks anyway. That was awesome.¡±


    ¡°How about the taste of cum, is that awesome too?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I think it might be one of my favourite desserts from now on.¡±


    ¡°Steady on.¡±


    She was still giggling.


    ¡°Ok, well, maybe it won¡¯t beat chocte fudge cake, but I¡¯ll definitely like it on a regr basis. A very regr basis.¡± She touched my face, resting her thumb against my cheek, eyes turning serious, even behind the smears. ¡°Is that what we can be? Can this be regr?¡±


    I, Julian Lockley, am a sex addict, who likes the degradation of barely legal girls.


    I tried to reinforce it to myself.


    ¡°It shouldn¡¯t be,¡± I said, morality making a pathetic attempt at returning. ¡°You need someone considerably better than a man like me to enjoy the pleasures with.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want anyone else, though. I want you.¡±


    Her honesty was always astounding.


    ¡°You can¡¯t know that yet,¡± I told her. ¡°This is your only benchmark. You¡¯re a young girl, with a long life ahead.¡±


    She rolled her eyes, smile still cute. ¡°Yeah, yeah. I¡¯m a kid, and you¡¯re a filthy pervert and all that. Whatever, Julian. You said you¡¯d kill Scottie today for me, and you just made mee like I never knew it was possible. Show me anyone else who¡¯d do the same. I¡¯ve never seen them.¡±


    ¡°Not on this estate, no. But in the bigger world there are plenty of amazing men who could offer you a great deal of love and passion, as well as a fulfilling life.¡±


    ¡°You sound like a therapist now.¡±


    Our humour was beautiful, just like her. Natural, just like her.


    ¡°I¡¯d be a godawful therapist. I don¡¯t think my life experience resume would give me all that much credibility somehow.¡±


    ¡°Who cares? I don¡¯t.¡±


    Oh, but she might if she knew. She hadn¡¯t seen the disgust in my wife and children¡¯s eyes.


    I sighed, and looked up at the ceiling, the reality of this situation just beginning to show its true face to me, but Rosie wouldn¡¯t let it linger. She rested her head on her elbow and shed me a smile.


    ¡°What¡¯s it going to be next then, Dr Julian? I could do with a nice, hot drink, I¡¯m not sure about you.¡±


    I tapped her nose, still consumed by her.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure I can get you a drink, Miss Rosie.¡± I paused in my tracks. I still knew nothing about her. ¡°What is your surname by the way?¡±


    ¡°Flynn,¡± she said, then held out a hand for a handshake. ¡°Let¡¯s take this as an official introduction.¡±


    My mood was back to pink clouds and sparkling angel hair, anotherugh hitting the room as I returned her handshake. ¡°Hello, Miss Flynn, very pleased to meet you.¡±


    ¡°And you are?¡± she pushed.


    I hadn¡¯t given my name to anyone in this block. I should have held back, keeping my anonymity, but I couldn¡¯t. Her request was too sweet to ignore.


    ¡°Julian Lockley,¡± I told her.


    I watched it sink in. She¡¯d most definitely be remembering it.


    ¡°Well, hello, Mr Lockley,¡± she replied, then gave me another grin. ¡°I¡¯d love a coffee, please.¡±


    I was beaming like a bloody idiot as I got up to my feet and pulled her up alongside me.


    ¡°Your wish is mymand,¡± I said, and offered her my discarded shirt to keep her warm.


    ¡°I¡¯ll hold you to that!¡± she shot back as I walked away through to the kitchen.


    I couldn¡¯t help myself. I was smiling as I put the kettle on. I felt like a stupid bloody teenager with an all-consuming crush as my Eve crossed the threshold into my kitchen after me.This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    She hadn¡¯t buttoned up the shirt. It was hanging open as she took off her sses and wiped off the cum with a cuff, leaning back against the counter as though she truly belonged here.


    I was staring at her as the kettle boiled, mugs already waiting. The giggling innocence in her was already fading, and my lovesick candy cane emotions were dropping below the horizon. My urges were returning, full and strong.


    The vile addiction in me presenting its face again.


    I wanted to defile and consume and deflower the beautiful princess in front of me.


    I wanted to possess her like a little doll and y her body through every known game there was to y, and there was no denying it. My body was already electric with adrenaline, desperate for round two.


    But then Rosie looked at me with something more. Something deeper.


    Something that spoke to my soul.


    Infatuation.


    Beautiful, pure infatuation.


    The princess was infatuated with me, just as I was possessed by her.


    ¡°I mean it,¡± she said. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you did that for me today. Thanks will be never be enough.¡±


    Oh, if only she knew. The very sight of her smile would be enough to thank me for ever.

 Chapter 107

    ROSIE


    All i wanted was him. work, food, sleep¡­ my life downstairs¡­ nothing felt like it mattered except Julian. I wanted to stay here for a lifetime. A fairytale gone crazy.


    I stared over at him as he made our coffee, so loved up I could have screamed it from the rooftops.


    ¡°We shouldn¡¯t be doing this,¡± he said, his morality still eating him up. ¡°More specifically, I shouldn¡¯t be doing this.¡±


    Saying it out loud wouldn¡¯t make any difference. The energy in the room was already electric, ready to blow. My skin was prickling, nipples hard, and my clit was demanding, instinct taking over as I closed the distance. He was stirring our drinks when I reached his side, and I knew his body was as desperate as mine. The want in his eyes said it all.


    ¡°Rosie¡± he began, still trying to clutch at his resolve, but I shook my head. I wasn¡¯t listening.


    I wanted him to im me. I was done with my innocence.


    My hands roved over his chest, and that was enough. He sumbed, hands reaching for me in return and ripping the shirt from my shoulders. He lifted me up, sitting me right next to the mugs on the counter, and I spread my legs, already panting as he peppered his beautiful mouth up my thigh.


    He was rougher with my pussy this time. His tongue was fierce and wet, and fuck, I was done for¡­ lost. I gripped the counter, clumsy, and the mugs went tumbling, smashing and spilling coffee all over the floor. But Julian didn¡¯t care, or so much as flinch, just kept working his mouth against me. He was as done for as I was.


    I felt feral as I braced myself, needing more  praying that he¡¯d fuck me.


    ¡°Do it. Please!¡± I said but he broke the contact enough to shake his head.


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°PLEASE!¡± I had to shout. ¡°Julian, please!¡±


    He groaned as hepped at me.


    ¡°PLEASE!¡± I shouted again, slumping back against the wall. I wasn¡¯t sweet Rosie here. I didn¡¯t want to be a virgin. I didn¡¯t want to be an innocent little girl anymore.


    ¡°You aren¡¯t ready. You aren¡¯t prepared to take it yet,¡± he said. But he was wrong. I was ready, and I needed to show him.


    There was only one way I could think of.


    I shoved him away, and I got my fingers ready. He watched, shocked as I spat on them, but I didn¡¯t care. I was going to show him I could take the intrusion. I slid my hand between my legs, three fingers ready to fuck my own pussy, but he was too quick. He grabbed my wrist and held it firm.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you fucking dare.¡±


    It was the first glimpse I had of the fire in him. The power that must have shown itself to Scottie this morning. Julian was almost regal, with a dark authoritative re as he shook his head.


    ¡°I¡¯m being deadly serious, Rosie. Don¡¯t you dare.¡±


    My stare must have been so soft against his. My voice was nothing more than a whisper.


    ¡°Please¡­¡± I said and I could see the battle raging inside him. ¡°Please, Julian. Fuck me, then. It¡¯s what I want. I swear.¡±


    He weighed it up, his eyes flicking from mine to my pussy.


    ¡°I am ready,¡± I said. ¡°I want you to take me.¡±


    I could have cried with relief when he gave me the slightest hint of a nod.


    ¡°Alright. Not here, though. Not like this.¡±


    He lifted me into his arms and carried me into the bedroom, dropped me onto the bed and sat down next to me and asked the question I should have seening.


    ¡°Are you on contraception?¡±


    I shook my head. ¡°No. I didn¡¯t expect to be needing it.¡±


    He closed his eyes, his internal battle returning.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have any condoms.¡±


    I reached up and touched his face.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡±


    His stare was so fierce that it almost burnt my eyes.


    I repeated myself.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care. There is the morning after pill, and I am due on my period, and¡±


    ¡°This is lunacy,¡± he said, interrupting me, but all I could do was smile.


    ¡°Maybe it is, sure, but I don¡¯t care.¡±


    ¡°This is lust talking. Notmon sense.¡±


    ¡°So was threatening a guy¡¯s life this morning¡­ but you did that for me.¡±


    He looked at me like I was a princess. He stroked my face in return.


    ¡°That wasn¡¯t lust talking, Rosie.¡±


    ¡°No? Then what was it?¡±This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    ¡°That was¡­ love.¡±


    Love.


    I couldn¡¯t believe he said that.


    ¡°Do it, then,¡± I said. ¡°Show me a different kind of love. Be my first.¡±


    ¡°You drive me fucking insane,¡± he said.


    ¡°Ditto,¡± I replied.


    He got to his feet, pushed his trousers down, along with his boxers, and kicked them away, standing before me like a naked Adonis. I only had a few seconds to admire him before he climbed on top of me andnded his mouth on mine, kissing me with absolute passion.


    ¡°Don¡¯t prepare me for it,¡± I said between kisses. ¡°I want your cock to be the first thing inside me.¡±


    He was breathing hard in my face, as he positioned himself. I felt his huge dick working against my pussy, and I was shaking with nervous excitement. ¡°Nice and steady,¡± he said.


    I cried out as he worked his hips and began to push inside me, but I wouldn¡¯t let him stop. Not for anything. I moaned for him, and I whimpered for him, and his big hands gripped my ribs. I felt the pain, the stretch, and I saw the adoration in his gaze. Felt that adoration  love  as he pushed some more.


    ¡°Fuck,¡± he said, ¡°you¡¯re so fucking tight.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t wrong. It burned so bad it felt like he was trying to get his fist inside me. I pushed against him and that was the encouragement he needed.


    ¡°Fuck,¡± he said again, and I cried out, a beautiful cry and it really did feel like something had snapped inside me as his cock filled me.


    There were no more words.


    My body moved against him, taking his cock deeper and deeper until he cried out with a ¡°Fuck, yes!¡± and pushed right in, all the way.


    I twisted my head to the side, teeth gritted, whimpering as he ground his hips some more.


    He¡¯d done it. He was inside me. I wasn¡¯t a virgin anymore.


    Sex wasn¡¯t like I expected. Julian didn¡¯t pump back and forth like I¡¯d seen on video. He circled his hips rather than moving in and out, and it was the strangest sensation  a burn of pain mixed with pressure, in a spot that I didn¡¯t know existed, deep inside.


    I was whimpering with both hurt and need at the same time.


    ¡°Do you want me to stop?¡± he asked, braced up on his arms.


    I shook my head. ¡°No way.¡±


    ¡°Good. It would kill me if I tried.¡±


    The passion in his words spurred me on like a frenzied version of me that had never seen the light. I circled my hips in counter to his, letting the pressure build and build through the pain. I clenched my pussy as tight as I could, and he groaned. Loud.


    I was so proud of myself as his breaths became hisses, and his cock started pumping back and forth. He was reaching the edge and I was deliriously happy, smiling as he nted his mouth on mine. I kissed him as he came inside me, my tongue still seeking his as he grunted and groaned and lost control. It was bliss. Pure absolute bliss, and I was alive. I was me. I was HIS.

 Chapter 108

    I was the happiest girl on the as he peaked and exploded. And then he copsed. His full weight on mine. Wey there, in the glow, with his cock still inside me.


    I loved his heat. I loved him.


    I whimpered as he finally pulled out and moved down the bed to take a look at me. My pussy was throbbing sore.


    ¡°Ow,¡± I said still wincing, then shuffled enough to see blood on his new white sheets. ¡°Shit, sorry,¡± I said, but he looked at me with such adoration that it gave me a lurch in my stomach.


    There was something else there in his eyes, too¡­


    They were dark and raw as he moved his head between my legs.


    ¡°What are you¡± I began, before insanity piled on top of insanity.


    His tonguepped my used, bleeding pussy in one long sweep.


    ¡°More,¡± he said. ¡°Push down, sweetheart.¡±


    I did what I was told, felt wetness between my thighs, slick, and I knew his cum must be spilling out along with my blood.


    And there he was¡­ the filthy man upstairs. I saw the him that must have taken the sordid photos of the girl in the wardrobe. He cleaned up my blood and his cum with his tongue, his stare on mine, and I was open mouthed, lost. Possessed by the dirty sight of him.


    ¡°I told you,¡± he said when he was done. ¡°I¡¯m not the man you think I am.¡±


    But fuck that. I wanted it all along with him. I wanted the filth as much as he did.


    With desperate hands I pulled him up, and I kissed him. I didn¡¯t want to be an innocent little girl. I wanted to be dirty. Like him.


    We were both gasping by the time he finally broke our messy kiss. He rolled onto his back and took hold of me, hugging me tight to his side.


    ¡°My God. This is madness.¡±


    The tension eased to a stillness, with just our breaths sounding out as the reality of the situation really dawned.


    Julian, the man upstairs, had taken my virginity¡­ and then he¡¯d cleaned up the mess. With his mouth.


    I let my fingers stroke up and down his chest, still processing the fact that I had my saviour¡¯s cum inside me. I was still revelling in the pain of the aftermath. My pussy was so sore that I knew I¡¯d be wincing when I tried to walk.


    I don¡¯t know how long we were lying there, but there was peace amidst the craziness. I found I was smiling,ughing a little as he squeezed me tight.


    Then I said the stupidest thing ever.


    ¡°Wow.¡±


    Heughed along with me. A genuineugh.


    ¡°Wow, indeed.¡± His eyes were warm on mine, that dirty lust gone. ¡°I think it¡¯s time for those coffees, don¡¯t you? Let¡¯s actually go through with them this time.¡±


    He was so gentle as he helped me up from the bed. I wasughing as I flinched with every step, proud of how sore I felt after taking him. He left me standing just a moment as he took a fresh shirt from his wardrobe and buttoned me up in it. It was lovely, back in the zone of being taken care of.


    My thighs were slippery as I padded through to the kitchen with his hand in mine.


    ¡°Stay there,¡± he said before navigating his way through the broken mugs. Still naked, he swept them up and wiped up the coffee, dumping the shards into the bin before grabbing two fresh mugs. He flicked on the kettle all over again. He was watching me as it boiled.


    I had never seen true, real romantic love in someone before. Sure, I¡¯d seen guys with my mum, and people hooked up at college, and I¡¯d seen couples heading into the pizza ce to grab their takeaways, but nothing so up close and personal as the way Julian looked at me across the kitchen. This was far more like one of my romance novels than anything I¡¯d ever seen in the flesh. I¡¯d sure love my fellow online readers to be able to get their hands on this story. They¡¯d be cheering me on.


    He looked at me with a mixture of things I couldn¡¯t untangle. Care, attention, affection¡­ and the force of lust that I was already besotted with.


    I¡¯d had a glimpse of another side of him in the bedroom. An addictive one.


    But it was only the beginning.


    I wanted to see inside the heart and mind of Julian Lockley with the curiosity of Alice chasing the rabbit. I was already crazy about his strengths. The power of someone who would be willing to kill to keep someone safe. The quiet humility he carried so well. The sharp intelligence of a man who has pondered life over decades. Pondered his own guilt. epted his own wrongs. Held himself ountable for his actions.


    It would have been so much better if I had the words to sum up just how grateful I was for everything he¡¯d shown and given me already. Shame he was the English professor, not me. I¡¯d have loved to have written him a glowing piece of adoration for everything he was and everything he¡¯d blessed me with. Everything from a ce to stay, to muesli in the morning, to coconut conditioner. For showering me with attention, and want, and making me feel like I was really worth something. For saving me from the evil of Scottie.


    How could I have words for that? How could I show such a genuine thanks to someone who¡¯s done all those things? More importantly  how could I ever let that person go?


    I was pondering that while Julian was doing the opposite. His attempt to cling on to his idea of morality must have been niggling him. I could see it in his face.


    ¡°I really shouldn¡¯t be doing this to you,¡± he said. ¡°It¡¯s not eptable in the slightest. I should be hung, drawn and quartered.¡±


    I sighed. ¡°Do you want to do it?¡±


    ¡°Of course I want to. You are divinity personified.¡±


    ¡°Why not, then? Why fight it?¡±


    He poured our second round of coffees.


    ¡°A whole host of reasons. A thirty-year age gap for starters, and a pure innocent girl who deserves better.¡±


    ¡°Change the record,¡± I said. ¡°You still think I¡¯m all that innocent after that in there?¡± I rolled my eyes, trying to break through his fresh round of guilt. ¡°Stop giving yourself a hard time every five seconds.¡±


    ¡°Unfortunately, I deserve to give myself a hard time every single second, not every five.¡±


    He handed me my coffee, and I took hold of his arm before he stepped away.


    ¡°Why fight fate?¡±


    His eyes were so dark on mine. ¡°Fate? That¡¯s quite a statement.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think I believed in it, but I do now. Fate sent me a hero out of nowhere.¡±


    He raised his eyebrows. ¡°I¡¯m not a hero, I can assure you. I¡¯m theplete opposite.¡±


    He was wrong. I was staring up at one. He just didn¡¯t want to believe it.


    ¡°You¡¯re my hero.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m very ttered,¡± he said, trying to brush it off, but I wouldn¡¯t let him. I kept my grip on his arm.


    ¡°I mean it, Julian. I¡¯m not joking. You¡¯re a hero.¡± Iughed. ¡°Better than any romance story I¡¯ve read, and I¡¯ve read a lot of them.¡±


    ¡°Yes, well, that¡¯s probably because I¡¯ve swept you into my own depravity. I shouldn¡¯t take advantage of your gratitude.¡±


    ¡°You aren¡¯t. You¡¯re giving me what I want. If that¡¯s depravity, I¡¯m right there with you.¡±


    ¡°That would make us a very strange pair of soulmates indeed,¡± he said, and finally smiled.N?vel(D)rama.Org''s content.

 Chapter 109

    ROSIE


    JULIAN didn¡¯t wake me before he left, and i slept right through my rm.


    I stumbled around his apartment, gathering my stuff for college in a frenzy, until it dawned on me.


    Why was it so important I dashed away like a good girl to get to my lessons?


    I hadn¡¯t had a sick day in years. Not just from work, but from college too. Surely I could be a rebel for once in my life? Well, once more since I was the ultimate rebel already, being in the apartment of the man upstairs.


    There was a note on the coffee table. Julian had beautiful handwriting, almost calligraphic, on lovely thick lined paper.


    I didn¡¯t want to disturb Sleeping Beauty. Stay as long as you want, sweetheart.


    His words made me smile. I hoped he meant it. My apartment downstairs felt distant. My own bedroom felt like a nasty tomb after Scottie pinned me down that night. I didn¡¯t ever want to sleep in there again.


    There was a message on my phone from Mum. A three-word question.


    Are you ok?


    I was on top of the world, but I couldn¡¯t tell her that. I¡¯d never be able to face her off and tell her I was in crazy besotted love with the man upstairs. I typed out a simple answer, with another sh of rebellion at a little white lie.


    I¡¯m good, thanks. Stayed with Jenny. It was great.


    I didn¡¯t know who Jenny was, but she could be a good alibi.


    I got myself an orange juice and a bowl of muesli with cut up berries. I was cosy in one of Julian¡¯s shirts as I sat cross legged on his sofa and flicked on his TV. There was nothing I wanted to watch on there, but I didn¡¯t care, I just liked the sensation of being in his space.


    I hugged one of his gold brocade cushions when I was done with my breakfast, lounging around against the leather chesterfield, my pussy still sore from Julian¡¯s cock. The flutters right through me said it all. I was absolutely consumed by the man who took my virginityst night. I was already so caught up in him I was losing my mind.


    Julian Lockley. Forty-eight years old. An ex-university professor, with a wife called Katreya, two grown up kids, and a kink for big age gaps and filth.


    The need to know more tickled at me¡­


    It was only a matter of time before I dug into details online. I couldn¡¯t help myself. I called up social media and typed in his name, but there was no sign of him anywhere. I did a more generic online search and a Companies House directory listing came up. Resurgence Therapy. The address was registered in Oxford, and he was named as joint director with Katreya. There were news articles, too. My heart was in my stomach as I clicked on a therapy awards article. Resurgence had won the National Commission Counselling awardst year, and the ceremony was in London. I scrolled through the article and the pictures, stopping with a hitch of breath when I saw him there, his arm around a beautiful woman with dark blonde hair.


    Julian and Katreya.


    His wife was stunning. Tall and sleek, in a deep green satin dress, and as for Julian, words couldn¡¯t do him justice. His suit was tailored perfectly and he was standing tall and proud, with a lovey bright smile. His hair was slicked back. Professional.


    Gorgeous.


    That should have been enough online stalking, but now the trapdoor was open, I couldn¡¯t stop myself jumping in.


    I went back to social media and typed in the fatal words Katreya Lockley. I could hardly look as the listings came up. She was right there at the top. It was definitely her on the profile pic, her hair blowing in the wind with a beach in the background. Her profile was public, not private.


    Hertest post was a picture of her with a younger, dark-haired woman with a baby on herp. I knew without reading that the woman next to her was Grace, her daughter. She had Julian¡¯s eyes.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    Katreya¡¯s profile picture had been the same for almost six months exactly. I scrolled back and found a photo of her and Julian, sitting in a garden together with Grace¡¯s baby girl on herp. Our beautiful little Emily, the caption said, and there were so manyments, from so many friends and family with hearts and smiles. There amongst them was Grace, and a fewments down was Ryan. Should I click on them? Really?


    Damn it, of course I did.


    I scrolled through every picture and post I could find, seeing Julian in a hundred different ces with members of his family. Old pictures of him and Katreya, when Grace and Ryan were just kids. I saw Julian at social gatherings, on family holidays, at Emily¡¯s birthday parties. His house was incredible, and his lifestyle was glorious. Even their sweet Labrador, Barney, was beautiful. There were more award ceremonies involving tuxedos, and group pics with employees of their therapy business. It made me sick to the stomach at the contrast between his life then and now.


    How could I everpare? I was just a gawky young girl from a shitty background, with a stash of cash only just big enough to help with Mum¡¯s overdue bills.


    I should have quit stalking there, but I didn¡¯t. I focused on Grace¡¯s profile next, taking a breath before I called up her friends list. So many pretty girls with stunning hair and amazing makeup, grins and poses and perfect pouts.


    I knew who I was looking for. It took quite a lot of scrolling until I found her, but she was very recognisable, even in a tight tee and jeans. Maisie Halterton. The girl in the pictures in Julian¡¯s wardrobe. She was engaged now, to a hot young guy in a polo shirt, with a sparkling diamond ring on her finger. Yours forever the caption on their proposal pictures said, and I felt a stupid wave of relief.


    It was weird seeing her in a more normal context, without her pussy spread with a huge dildo, and slut scrawled across her tits.


    I couldn¡¯t help but wonder how many other people on Grace¡¯s friends list Julian might have had sex with. How many others had been desperate for him, offering themselves up for dildos and marker pen? What else had he done with them? What were the limits of his filth?


    The very thought gave me a nervous thrill, but one thing I did know was that I would do all of it. Everything and anything he wanted me to. I wanted to see him at his limits, no matter how dark, how filthy, how extreme. There was nothing I didn¡¯t want from him. He had stormed into my soul and taken hold. The rabbit hole could swirl into the utter pits of perversion, but I wouldn¡¯t care. All I¡¯d want was him.


    I¡¯d never known a feeling like this before. I had no idea how it felt to be as insane about someone as I was about my filthy saviour.


    I needed to let him know that before he filed me away as a sweet little angel for ever. I didn¡¯t want my freshly imed virgin state to put him off, thinking I was too pure, because it could do. It would do. I was nothing like Maisie and the girls I was looking at online. I was a whole world away. So, I¡¯d have to show him.


    I felt like a thief as I delved into the box in his wardrobe. But I also felt empowered as I stared at Masie. And emboldened as I handled the dildos. Could I do this? Could I show him, for real and not look like a dumbass? I wasn¡¯t sure, but I knew I had to try.


    HE STEPPED THROUGH THE DOOR WITH A CHEERFUL HELLO, ARE YOU STILL here, sweetheart, after work, but his tone was lighter. He probably had a whole speech of I shouldn¡¯t have done that to you, ready to present to me.


    Now or never¡­


    I tried to keep my breaths steady as I sat there on the sofa, awaiting his gaze. He appeared in the doorway, and it shocked him enough that he did a double take, mouth open as he looked me up and down.


    I had his shirt open, my tits on disy, and I was hitched up just right to show my freshly deflowered pussy. Beside me on the coffee table, ready to go, were the toys from his wardrobe, along with the rope twine, and the set of marker pens.


    I tried to look as slutty as possible as he stared at me, praying with everything I had that I wouldn¡¯t be shot down in mes.


    ¡°We shouldn¡¯t¡­¡± he tried, but I didn¡¯t want to listen to him. I shook my head, and summoned every scrap of my confidence, and I spread my pussy lips for him, showing him how wet I was.


    ¡°I want to be the girl in the photos,¡± I said. ¡°I want to be her. I want you to show me everything. Every single thing that turns you on, and then we¡¯ll see, won¡¯t we? We¡¯ll see how much I like it.¡±


    I was expecting a battle, but it didn¡¯te. He was staring at me with hungry eyes. That¡¯s what they were. They were hungry. The way he swallowed and stared at my pussy on offer gave me a rush of pride.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to be like Maisie,¡± he said.


    ¡°I want to be like Maisie,¡± I told him, but heughed.


    ¡°No, no, Rosie. I want you to be you. You¡¯re much more of a treasure than she ever was.¡±


    His words warmed me, right the way through.


    ¡°Show me, then. Show me how much of a treasure I am. I¡¯ll do whatever you want me to do.¡±


    He shrugged off his jacket, and loosened his tie, casting it aside. He scoped out the toys I¡¯d lined up, including the biggest dildo.


    ¡°I¡¯m addicted to filthy sex with barely legal girls,¡± he said. ¡°This isn¡¯t a joke, Rosie.¡±


    ¡°I know. You¡¯ve told me a million times.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s my warning,¡± he said. ¡°Once I start, I can¡¯t stop.¡±


    ¡°Good. I don¡¯t want you to stop. Not ever.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure you quite understand what that means.¡± He paused, took a breath. ¡°I. Can¡¯t. Stop. If you open the doors to my filth, there will only be one way out, and that will be you saying no and getting out of my sight. I won¡¯t be able to hold back from pushing your limits. I won¡¯t be able to control my urges.¡±


    He looked again at the toys on the table. I felt the battle he was having with his senses.


    ¡°Up until now you¡¯ve been an angel,¡± he said, ¡°but my urges sink into the realms of perversion. If you go there with me, there will be no going back.¡±


    My pulse was racing on overdrive, because he was on the edge. I could see it. I could feel it. One little nudge was all it would take.


    I picked up the smallest dildo. I fixed my eyes on his as I ran the head of it up and down my pussy, trying to be as confident as Maisie.


    ¡°Do it to me,¡± I said, using my other hand to tug on a nipple. ¡°I want it, Julian. I want it all. I want to be a good little slut for you.¡±


    I pushed the head of the dildo into me and let go of it, tugging on both nipples now.


    He was shaking his head.


    ¡°You seem so sure.¡±


    ¡°Because I am.¡±


    I took hold of the dildo and pushed it all the way in.


    ¡°You don¡¯t realise what you¡¯re asking for, Rosie.¡±


    I started working the dildo, tried to do a sexy moan. ¡°I¡¯m asking to be your slut,¡± I said. ¡°Tie me up and write filth on my body and fuck me. Do whatever you want to me and I¡¯ll take it all like a good girl.¡±


    ¡°Fuck,¡± he said.


    ¡°Fuck me,¡± I said, working the dildo faster.


    ¡°Stop,¡± he said and my hand froze.


    ¡°It¡¯s more than just acting the slut, Rosie, it¡¯s ¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to act, I want to be the best slut,¡± I said and he shook his head again.


    ¡°It would take a hugemitment.¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°I canmit, no problem.¡± He hesitated, staring at the dildo in my pussy.


    I held it there, waited for the words.


    ¡°Quit your job,¡± he said.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°If you really want tomit, you need to ring the pizza ce and quit your job, because you won¡¯t be leaving here for quite some time.¡±


    His words took me aback.


    ¡°I¡¯m already past the realms of restraint, Rosie. I¡¯m beyond the satisfaction of a few hours of fucking with you, only to wave you off with a see youter. If you stir the pot of addiction, it will keep on spinning.¡± His eyes were so fierce. ¡°Do it if you really want it. Show me how serious you are. Quit your job.¡±


    I pulled the dildo free as the fears of sensibilities crept in from the sides of my mind. How could I afford He shook his head, pre-empting me.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about the implications. I have more than enough money to share.¡±


    Could I do this? Could I really?


    ¡°I¡¯m deadly serious,¡± he went on. ¡°If this is what you really want, then you need to quit your job and stay here with me. You needn¡¯t worry about money. I¡¯ll more than cover your wages and anything else you might need.¡± ¡°Quit my job,¡± I said out loud. It sounded so weird.


    ¡°Yes,¡± he said. ¡°It really is that simple, if being my slut is what you really want. Have a think about it. I¡¯ll go make us a coffee.¡±


    ¡°Wait,¡± I said as he made to walk away.


    I didn¡¯t want to think about it. Didn¡¯t need to think about it.


    My phone was buried behind one of the cushions. My fingers were trembling as I called up the pizza house number, and this time when Marcus answered, I didn¡¯t fake a cough. I was looking at Julian as I said the words.


    ¡°I quit, sorry,¡± I said, on autopilot. ¡°Something hase up.¡±


    I hung up before Marcus could quiz or argue, tossing my phone to the side as I stared at Julian, staring at me.


    I closed my eyes as he took position on the sofa. My nipples were hard and my skin had goosebumps, the dildo still on the seat between my thighs.


    My eyes were still closed when I felt the heat of him as he leant in, and then came his tongue,pping from my tits all the way up my throat. His face was in mine as he picked up the dildo.


    ¡°Let¡¯s make you a filthy little angel, then,¡± he said. ¡°The rabbit hole starts here.¡±

 Chapter 110

    JULIAN


    I was over and done with fighting my demons. SO many futile attempts, always failing. The beasts always won, no matter how hard I fought. And this fight was the hardest I¡¯d ever faced.


    I stood no chance whatsoever of winning this war. To think otherwise was nothing short of delusion. Rosie was a greater temptation than all of the other princessesbined.


    I knew her poor, perfect pussy would still be hurting as she teased me with it, but if this depraved story of us was the rabbit hole the angel wanted to go tumbling down, I¡¯d go tumbling with her, dly.


    I swapped the smaller dildo for the next size up and my face was in hers as I pushed the head of it inside her, well aware of just how much it would hurt as she stretched. I¡¯d seen thick dildos brutalising tender pussies many, many times before.


    Sure enough, she flinched. Braced herself.


    ¡°Do you want me to stop?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    I pushed in further. She screwed her eyes closed.


    ¡°How about now?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but smile a filthy smile.


    If she really wanted to see the seedy truth behind her hero, it was right here in front of her. The veil had been pulled aside. My needs were bing selfish.


    The devils in my blood were baying for filthy games, clearly, but the angel wasn¡¯t turning away to run and hide. She was being tainted. By me.


    Rosie was still a barely legal little goddess, but she was turning from an Eve to a Lilith, right before my eyes.


    ¡°Look at me, Rosie.¡±


    She opened her eyes, eyes that shone with fear and trepidation through the lenses of her cute sses. ¡°How does your cunt feel?¡±


    ¡°Good,¡± she said.


    ¡°Tell me how it really feels.¡± I pushed the dildo in another inch and my little angel gasped.


    ¡°A bit sore,¡± she said, ¡°But it¡¯s nice.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± I said, working the dildo just a little, ¡°any pain will soon turn into pleasure.¡±


    Her breaths wereing louder, her cheeks ming up. I couldn¡¯t help but smile.


    ¡°Show me how you want your cunt used,¡± I told her. ¡°Work your hips for me.¡±


    I held the dildo still, loving how she tried to move  still too inexperienced to do anything but wriggle back and forth. She didn¡¯t know how to fuck herself deep, or find the right spot to drive herself wild, and that was beautiful. Her enthusiastic innocence was the most addictive thing of all.


    I should have been kind and taken it a lot more slowly. Should and did are two very different things, however. My urges had me in a vice grip, overpowering my morality beyond all measure.


    ¡°Harder,¡± I said and licked my wet tongue up her cheek like a filthy piece of shit. ¡°Show me how much you can take.¡±


    I didn¡¯t give her the chance to respond before I jumped on the opportunity, shoving the dildo all the way in. My little Rosie didn¡¯t protest, just cried out, bracing herself as I fucked her. She took it like a good little slut, her body little more than a toy to be used as I wanted.


    Yes. She was a good, good girl.


    I didn¡¯t want to fuck her with a dildo for long. My cock was much too desperate¡­


    I freed my belt and dropped my pants, pinning her back against the arm of the chesterfield as I tossed the dildo to the side. I didn¡¯t hold back, too consumed to care. I had condoms from the store in my pocket, yes, a sensibility I¡¯d taken hold of on the way home, in the realms of just in case that I¡¯d been deluding myself with. But I didn¡¯t want to use them. I wanted her pussy, raw. Insanity knows no bounds.


    I hitched her legs back and pinned her there, enjoying the rush of blood to my straining cock. Enjoying the look of excited anticipation in my angel¡¯s pretty blue eyes.


    Enjoying the loud cry she made as I thrust inside her in one hard m.


    ¡°Fuck,¡± I said and fucked her hard and fast.


    There was no consideration for her needs this time as I pounded her sweet cunt to take my thrill. It was all about me.


    I used her like a demon possessed, craving more, deeper, harder, rougher. I groaned against her mouth as I fucked her like she was nothing but a hole to be used. I let my cock run riot, and fervour turned to frenzy as my balls tightened. The way my angel was bucking and yelping and gasping with every hard m almost had me. It would have been so easy to take my fill and then explode.


    But no.


    I pulled out quickly, gritted my teeth and told my balls to calm the fuck down as my angel panted before me.


    Rosie was a gorgeous ragdoll as I yanked her away from the arm of the sofa to sit her upright. I dropped to kneel in front of her and spread her legs wide, hitching them high once again, her swollen cunt so puffy from the mming.


    ¡°Fuck,¡± I said again and buried my face in her pussy, tasting the beautiful wet mess I¡¯d made of her. She yelped when I shunted three fingers in deep then moaned so beautifully as Ipped at her clit.


    I fingered her.


    I licked her.


    Her pretty cunt was like a flower to the bee.


    My mind was lost as I moaned against her slit, as I curled my fingers inside her, my cock still throbbing like a beast.


    I knew my dirty patterns well enough by now, but this time they were wound tighter. I felt my primal urges to mark the canvas of naked flesh, like a dog marking its territory. Disgusting, but true to my nature.


    Only this time, I was more desperate.


    I kissed my way down the inside of angel Rosie¡¯s thigh, but I wasn¡¯t interested in tickles tonight. The bite of my teeth shocked her enough to cry out, but she didn¡¯t stop me. She let me suck her flesh hard enough to leave love bitten trails down her thighs. Beautiful.


    Then it was time for more.


    Another fresh bout of deflowering.


    The rabbit hole was unrelenting.


    I pinned Rosie¡¯s love bitten legs up high enough to offer me her tender little asshole.


    She moaned when I licked it. Moaned some more when I plunged my tongue as deep as I could, thenpped at her like a feral dog, soaking her asshole in spit for lube. Her whimper was absolutely delicious when I pushed my thumb inside her, and so was the taste of the filth,pping at her as I worked my thumb in and out.


    I fucked her pussy at the same time at first, three fingers all the way in. A double stretch that had her crying out again. Then I moved those fingers to her asshole slowly. Very, very slowly¡­ one by one. Stretching, stretching, eased by spit¡­ until I had all three of them buried all the way in.


    ¡°Do you like that, sweetheart?¡±


    She nodded. Her bright eyes said it all.


    So, yes. Sweet little Rosie liked ass y. She squirmed against me to illustrate it.


    ¡°I like it,¡± she said.


    ¡°Push me out of you,¡± I said.N?vel(D)rama.Org''s content.


    She looked at me confused.


    ¡°Bear down,¡± I said, ¡°bear down and push my fingers out of your slutty asshole for me.¡±


    Her breath hitched at my words. But she did it.


    My kinky little goddess pushed down against my fingers, her beautiful wide eyes staring at me through her sses, such a contrast of purity and filth. She pushed down nice and hard, not stopping until my fingers were expelled.


    She looked so proud.


    And I felt so proud of her.


    It was too much for me to bear.


    Possession.


    I needed to own her.


    I grabbed one of the marker pens from the coffee table, then I wrote on her stomach. She watched, mouth gaping as the letters appeared.


    MY. DIRTY. ANGEL.


    She was a dirty angel, defiled by a filthy scribble of marker pen owning her stomach. Her eyes widened as I used the marker pen to work her clit, dirtying her with ink with every move I made. And then I feasted. I smeared it as I licked at her, a crazy, heady mix of ink and cunt. My lips must have been dyed ck as I kissed my way up her body and sucked at her tits. The pen was ready for her chest next. The word came naturally. A contrast to angel.


    Whore.


    I scribbled on her skin, breaths ragged.


    Dirty, seedy, little bitch.


    Degradation is a strange game. Worship and humiliation both at once. The need to mark and own, the need to dirty the pure. She didn¡¯t argue when I turned my attention higher. She didn¡¯t so much as flinch as the tip of the marker pen touched her cheek.


    I couldn¡¯t usually do this. Most girls don¡¯t have the potential to be scrawled on so visibly. Marker pen doesn¡¯t wash off all that easily¡­ S. L. U. T.


    I stared in disbelief at my own depths of depraved possession.


    I¡¯d marked my angel¡¯s face with the word slut. Her face was heaven, and the word was at odds.


    It was the prettiest piece of filth I¡¯d ever seen, and it only spurred me on.


    The need for possession consumed me.


    Control. I needed to control her.


    I grabbed the rope twine from the coffee table, then bound her wrists up over her head without so much as a word. She looped her arms around my neck, both of us staring at each other in silence as I positioned myself against her.


    I only used her tight, wet cunt as a lube to prepare my cock for her ass. Time for her second deflowering.


    She knew what wasing when I rubbed my dick against her. She braced herself in vain, because there was no point. It was going to hurt like hell regardless of what position she was in. Three fingers had been a warm-up, nowhere near enough to take the throne.


    ¡°Tell me to stop,¡± I said, but she shook her head.


    ¡°Never.¡±


    Such a brave word to use.


    ¡°Really? Never? That almost feels like a challenge. Be careful, Rosie.¡±


    I tested her resolve with the head of my cock, pressing hard. Her ass opened up for me, just a little.


    ¡°Do it,¡± she said.


    ¡°Tell me,¡± I said.


    ¡°Fuck my slut ass,¡± she said and Christ it took all my will not to m straight in there.


    Yes. She was most definitely a Lilith.


    But she was also my angel¡­


    Her smile was so loving when I pushed her sses up her nose for her.


    I dropped a kiss on her lips, and then, I did it.


    I did my best to work her slowly, but I couldn¡¯t hold back for long. My cock needed to be inside her. Her ass was hot and tight, and her face was perfection as she cried out when I pushed all the way in.


    ¡°Ow, fuck! Fuck!¡±


    Yes, it hurt. But she didn¡¯t try to stop me. She didn¡¯t move her hands from around my neck or fight the twine that had bound her. She didn¡¯t try to squirm away, or whimper for me to ease up on her virgin asshole. Nothing. She took it like the dirty little slut she imed she wanted to be, but she was no Maisie. She was no Serena, or Madeline, or any one of the blur of faces I¡¯d taken advantage of. She was in a whole other sweet ocean of her own.


    I used my thumb on her clit as I slid my dirty cock in and out of her, making sure she was lost in the world of filth along with me before I truly let myself go with her asshole. I worked her, carefully, making sure I was ying her body to the right tune. ¡°That¡¯s it,¡± I said as she started panting, grinding against my thumb.


    She came quietly this time, with a stream of murmurs, head tipped back and eyes closed. She was still smiling in the aftermath when I mmed into her on a mission of my own. I fucked her in hard, deep thrusts, cursing as her dirty ass clenched and milked my cock to the brink, and then I was gone, my face in hers. I came deep inside Rosie¡¯s dirty angelic asshole, with her eyes locked on mine like I was a god.


    My rational senses didn¡¯te back to me this time when the climax subsided. I stayed there in position, with my bound princess pinned underneath me, her ass strangling my pulsing cock as she panted against my mouth.


    What point was there in denying the truth any longer?


    We¡¯d jumped down after the crazy white rabbit, and there was no going back.


    The angel in this room belonged to me. Fascinated. Grateful. Glorious. And the same was true in return.


    My demons belonged to the angel now.


    And so did I.

 Chapter 111

    JULIAN


    I stared up at the gorgeous girl catching her breath on the sofa, rubbing her wrists from being bound. I knew the road ahead. My resolve was broken beyond all recovery.


    She was smiling, the scrawls of marker pen disyed proudly as I found my phone from my suit jacket. I called up my email ount and typed in the words to my office manager.


    Please ept my resignation, effective immediately.


    Regards, Julian.


    And that was it, sealed. We were both done for, until Rosie reached the end of the infatuation and life moved her on. I wouldn¡¯t be moving on at all. I was done for. My only reason for existing was right here in this room. The drab routine of putting on a suit in the morning and setting off to the office, purely for the benefit of a token stab at normality, was redundant. Put into perspective.


    Maybe this whirlwind of beauty would in fact make my eventual exit easier. Rosie would be a loss I wouldn¡¯t be able to ept when she finally outgrew and left me, and the oue could be inevitable. Finally, maybe I¡¯d press the proverbial overdose button and wave goodbye for all time.


    Rosie didn¡¯t belong with me, or to me. I wasn¡¯t going to be the man of her life and the man who deserved her future. He was still out there somewhere, craving his soulmate. I only hoped he was worthy from day one when he found her.


    I took a seat on the sofa and took hold of her wrists, rubbing the rope marks to ease them.


    ¡°What happens now?¡± she asked me, slightly hesitant, as though I was in any way likely to backtrack on her exit from work and change my mind.


    The poor girl had no idea just how firmly she¡¯d snared me.


    I kept it simple. ¡°You stay here until you decide to leave.¡±


    Sheughed. ¡°Thanks.¡±


    Another cute message of appreciation where none was warranted. She was a beautiful innocent temptress in my shitty apartment, the appreciation was all was mine.


    I ran my finger over the slut scrawled on her face, still soaking in the sight of her. Her lips were swollen puffy from kisses, and she was battered, tainted, used. Perfect.


    It was her who made the move towards me, shifting herself onto myp to brush her lips against mine.


    ¡°Steady,¡± I told her. ¡°You¡¯ll be reawakening the filth.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what I want,¡± she whispered back, and we plunged straight back in.


    The night was a blur of whisky, cigarettes, croissants, cereal, and sex. We were nothing but flesh exploring flesh, soaking up every single sensation. I traced marker pen scrawls all over her body with my tongue, and she sucked at my cock with the ferocity of a desperate slut. We fucked. We yed. We teased and tempted, driving each other into the realms of insanity.


    We were still a tangle of limbs on top of the bed sheets together when the morning came, and there we resumed, kissing as I pinned her down and used her pussy all over again. She was nothing more than whimpers and willing, and I was besotted by them. The angel from downstairs was a dirty drug, and I was a filthy addict, but she was just as hungry as I was. She couldn¡¯t stand even the slightest distance between my body and hers. I soaped her down in the shower without giving a shit about the taste of suds as I sucked on her nipples. I knelt and ate her pussy under a cascade, almost choking at the streaming water, and she held my head to her, begging. She returned the favour straight back.


    The hours blurred, contact with the outside world forgotten. We made boring sandwiches andughed together, eyes twinkling with humour between long rounds of bodily pleasures, and then the night came again, long and dirty. I knew every single taste of her. I knew every dainty inch of her body. I adored every tiny part of her.


    She called in sick at college and didn¡¯t bother to get dressed for five solid days. Neither of us did. We didn¡¯t step out through the front door. Not even to the shops for food supplies, or to the trash bins.


    Her pussy was a delicate flower with a very good aptitude for taking cock, and her ass was always willing. Her mouth was a treasure. But so was herugh. So was her smile. So was the way her eyes would light up over jokes and conversations. In those first few days we were superficial around our closeness, focusing on the physical pleasures without the risk of diving into the depths of mind, but that changed. We talked about everything from the wider world, to our views on the afterlife, to favourite characters in TV shows, books, movies. We talked about annoyances, and politics, andughed about our quirky little habits. I smirked every time she pushed her sses up her nose and she¡¯d point out every time I tapped my chin when I was speaking.


    It was only a matter of time before our chat turned towards the past. Not so much as to my family, or irresponsible choices this time, but to my career ones. It took me aback when Rosie asked if she could see one of my old thriller manuscripts after breakfast one morning. I had to dig my oldptop from the case it had been holed up in for months, and search back through old directories. My novels and attempts at them hadn¡¯t seen the light in years.


    I was in nothing but an open shirt with myptop on myp. I spun the screen to face her with my oldest manuscript on disy, less than proudly.


    ¡°Feel free to take a look,¡± I said, but she shook her head, her eyes sparkling in her beautiful fascination.


    ¡°No. I love audio. I want to hear your voice, please. Can you read it to me?¡±


    I wasn¡¯t sure about that, but she carried on asking, spinning my screen back to me.


    ¡°Please, Julian, you have the best voice in the world.¡±


    That was enough of apliment. I cleared my throat and began to read my story. One I¡¯d written around college, when I was about her age. A thriller, about a man who wakes up to find his wife gone, with nothing more than a note on their sideboard saying sorry.


    My little goddess was transfixed right the way through the first few chapters. I paused after chapter four, but she shook her head with a smile.


    ¡°Keep going! I love it!¡±


    Her enthusiasm was addictive.


    ¡°I¡¯m serious!¡± she said. ¡°I love it. It¡¯s amazing.¡±


    As it turned out, I loved it too. I loved reading my words out loud to her. My taste and style had changed a lot during my years in the lecture halls, but the story pulled me back into the memories. I remembered my creativity eating me up as I sat for hours every evening with my ashtray at my side, smoking and typing, lost in my imaginary world.


    Sometimes surprises can hit so hard, they knock you sideways, and this was one of mine. I¡¯d given up the writerly part of my soul a long, long time ago, but it was still there, like a shadow in the corner of my unconscious, waiting for me.


    Rosie encouraged every second of it. Her enthusiasm was infectious. I kept reading through lunch and into the afternoon, even taking theptop into the kitchen with us while Rosie made us a snack. The twists and turns of the plot was consuming her, her eyes fixed on me with every word.


    I¡¯d almost forgotten the ending myself, when it came to it. The fact that the woman had be besotted with someone from her criminal past  of which her husband had never been aware of.


    Rosie apuded me, as though I¡¯d written a literary prize winner, dering it was brilliant, but she was wrong. It was ok, yes, fine, but it wasn¡¯t brilliant. The story arc could have done with some extreme tightening, and the character development could have been ramped up considerably. Plus, there wasn¡¯t enough depth in the feelings the man had shown for his wife, right at the beginning. All skills I¡¯d been teaching other aspiring writers, but hadn¡¯t yet used myself.


    Yet.


    It was the first time I¡¯d had a calling to write in decades.


    ¡°Which others have you got?¡± Rosie asked, and I scrolled through some other files. Some finished, some half written. I¡¯d had the trademark stack of rejection letters sky high on my desk for years. I¡¯d almost forgotten most of the stories.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you release them?¡± she said. ¡°You could publish them yourself. A load of the stuff I¡¯ve listened to is self-published. People would love it.¡±


    ¡°They¡¯d take an awful lot of work to get them to that stage,¡± I told her, once I¡¯d scanned through a few more of my files. ¡°They¡¯d need some serious rewrites, and editing, and I know sweet FA about branding, or covers, or marketing.¡±


    She shrugged. ¡°So? You could do that, you could learn.¡±


    I dismissed it, stroking her cheek.


    ¡°I love your belief in me, angel, but all I care about right now is you.¡±


    She kissed my fingers. ¡°And all I care about is you. Which is why I¡¯m saying you¡¯re so good at this, you were born for it.¡±


    I scoffed a friendly scoff. ¡°Hardly.¡±


    ¡°Definitely.¡±


    ¡°I wish you¡¯d have been an agent when I was writing. Maybe my destiny would have been mapped out differently, but it wasn¡¯t meant to be. Clearly.¡± I closed myptop. ¡°I became a lecturer, not an author.¡±


    ¡°Tell me this, then,¡± she said. ¡°If you could be a writer now, would you want to be?¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.


    I ced theptop on the coffee table.


    ¡°I think anyone driven by creativity would want to be an author or an artist, or a dancer, or whatever else their soul called for.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not asking about anyone. I¡¯m asking about you.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I answered, honestly. ¡°I haven¡¯t even thought about it in years.¡±


    ¡°Maybe you should.¡±


    ¡°Maybe one day,¡± I replied, and turned my attention back to her perfection.


    I didn¡¯t want thriller manuscripts. I wanted her.


    Another night turned into another day, still insatiable. We stayed consumed in the world of just us, with no outside interference, for another night and another day after that, but I knew our istion couldn¡¯tst for ever.


    I was having a cigarette by the window on morning number nine as Rosie typed in her regr message to her mother. She was conveying how she was having such a good time with Jenny that she¡¯d note home yet. How lovely it was to have a new friend, away for days at a time, exploring the country.


    ¡°Do you think she has any suspicions?¡± I asked her, pondering. ¡°Surely she must. Has she asked who Jenny really is yet?¡±


    Rosie shrugged. ¡°No, I don¡¯t think so. She¡¯s too caught up with Scottie and their imaginary ns for a future.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡±


    I took a fresh drag and felt the curiosity in Rosie¡¯s stare.


    ¡°What about your imaginary future?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Sorry?¡±


    She put her phone on the coffee table.


    ¡°Well, we can¡¯t stay in here for ever, right? What do you want to happen? Between us?¡±


    I¡¯d been avoiding probing the question in my own head, so I didn¡¯t have an answer for her.


    I was trying to view only one minute at a time, savouring every second.


    I kept up my policy of honesty when it came to her.


    ¡°We y until we peak, and then you set yourself free when we plummet. You can give me a wave goodbye as you move on to better things.¡±


    She looked as though I¡¯d pped her, open mouthed.


    ¡°What?¡± I asked. ¡°You have a whole future ahead, Rosie. I¡¯m just a distraction at the beginning.¡±


    She shook her head as though I was speaking the absurd.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to wave you goodbye and move on to better things. I don¡¯t want to.¡±


    I stubbed my cigarette out in the ashtray, pulling the window closed.


    ¡°I appreciate the faith and sentiment, but this isn¡¯t your road ahead in the long term, I assure you. You¡¯re only just beginning your adulthood. I¡¯m approaching the end of mine.¡±


    Her beautiful innocence shone through. She was still insistent, still shaking her head as though I was wrong.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to move on. And you aren¡¯t approaching the end of yours. You¡¯re forty-eight, not eighty-four.¡±


    ¡°And you¡¯re barely approaching neen.¡±

 Chapter 112

    Her shining light changed to frustration. I saw the shift before my eyes. She tensed up, shaking her head with a different energy.


    ¡°Stop it. Age means nothing.¡±


    I closed the gap to sit beside her.


    ¡°You deserve someone to go on the full journey with you, not just take advantage of you at the end of theirs.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, yeah. You¡¯re not worth it, you¡¯re the sick guy who shouldn¡¯t be doing it, and I¡¯m just a kid, and all that.¡± She sighed, and our choice to bury ourselves with no outside interaction showed its face. She was bing confident around me, aided by the close proximity of a pressure cooker of one-on-one time. ¡°I¡¯m capable of knowing my own mind, thanks, and I want you.¡±


    Again, her innocent enthusiasm was touching. I took hold of her hands.


    ¡°And I want you to get what you need from life.¡±


    ¡°What I need is right here. Right now.¡±


    I tried to break the tension with a smile.


    ¡°Naked, ying with marker pens, and rope, with my cock on permanent disy. I¡¯ve barely even managed to cook you a meal.¡±


    She didn¡¯t buy into my lighter tone.


    ¡°It¡¯s not just about sex, and I don¡¯t expect you to take care of me.¡± She pulled her hands away from mine. ¡°Unless that¡¯s what it is for you. Is that what it is? Is it just about fucking?¡±


    ¡°No, of course not.¡±


    ¡°So, who is going to say it first?¡±


    This wasn¡¯t the route I wanted the conversation to go down, but I didn¡¯t have a choice. Her stare was too insistent. It felt stupid to y the fool, but I tried.


    ¡°Say what exactly?¡±


    ¡°The three magic words.¡±


    My eyes didn¡¯t falter from hers. ¡°I¡¯ll say whatever you want me to say, but that won¡¯t make any difference. Your future will still lead you elsewhere. Or it should do.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want it to.¡± She took a breath, and the depths of her newfound confidence truly began to show itself. It was enough to give me a lurch in my stomach, proud at how much her self-worth was blooming.


    ¡°You mentioned it once before,¡± she said.This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    ¡°Mentioned what?¡±


    ¡°When I asked you why you threatened Scottie to save me. You said you did it out of love.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I said, ¡°Of course I did.¡±


    ¡°Then I¡¯ll say it,¡± she said, ¡°I love you.¡±


    And then her cheeks bloomed, that confidence fading. She backed down, shifting in her seat, eyes dropping. ¡°Shit, sorry. I¡¯d better get a drink. Do you want a coffee?¡±


    I took hold of her wrist as she went to get up, keeping her tight. Her nervous expression was pure beauty as she dared to meet my stare.


    ¡°And I love you, Rosie.¡±


    There, I¡¯d said it. It was a ridiculous thing to utter out loud, but it was the truth. Infatuation and love are a fine blend, but I was way past any benchmark.


    I loved Rosie. I loved the little angel enough to kill someone to keep her safe, and rescue her from any kind of darkness life could ever bring.


    Her cheeks were bright, the relief in herugh a delight.


    ¡°Cool. There we go, then. Nothing else matters.¡±


    I wished that were true.


    I pulled her into my arms for a fresh round of kisses, with guilt churning underneath my joy. Rosie shouldn¡¯t love a man like me, but there was no point in arguing that. She¡¯d have to find out for herself.


    As it turned out, my irresponsibility in contraception wasn¡¯t out to cause troubles this month.


    It was when she got her first hint of period blood the next morning that she cursed and called out from the bathroom that she¡¯d be digging out some of my stronger tissues. She knew they were in the bathroom somewhere. I was too far away to intervene in time, she already had the bottom drawer open fully when I stepped in, revealing my stash of overdose pills and my folded letters propped behind the tissue boxes.


    Her expression turned to one of pure horror as she looked up at me from the floor, with one of the pill bottles in her hand. My colour must have drained, and hers drained along with mine. Unspoken words can be the most powerful of all. She knew what they were there for.


    ¡°When were you going to do this?¡± she asked.


    ¡°It was ongoing. I started stocking up the day I moved in.¡±


    She looked so hurt for me. I could feel her heart breaking. And more. There was the slightest hint of anger in her voice when she spoke next.


    ¡°And what about now? Do you still think that¡¯s a good idea? If you think I¡¯m going to fuck off and leave you one day, then you¡¯re wrong.¡±


    ¡°Rosie¡± I began, and my defeatist tone registered with her.


    Her horror took on a whole new level. She pulled my half-finished letters out and tossed them on the floor. So many versions over months. The names were obvious. Katreya. Grace. Ryan. And Michael. She held up that letter without reading the content.


    ¡°My brother,¡± I told her.


    ¡°Right.¡± She was still holding it when she got to her feet. I didn¡¯t know if she wanted to scream or burst into tears as she looked at me. Maybe both. ¡°And you think that¡¯s what they¡¯d want, is it? You think they¡¯d want to read a letter saying you¡¯re sorry, and that you aren¡¯t worth it and are doing them a favour. What do you think they will do? You think they¡¯ll be able to survive after that?¡±


    I realised then that this situation wasn¡¯t purely about me. Her pain was right from the soul. She struggled for breath as she carried on.


    ¡°You know how many times I checked for pills in Mum¡¯s room when I was growing up? She¡¯d always say she¡¯d be doing everyone a favour and wasn¡¯t worth anything, and how nobody really loved her. And the really sad thing is that she meant it. She really believed she was worthless and people would be better off with her gone. She probably still does, and that¡¯s why aplete piece of shit like Scottie can exploit her, because she is desperate and wants to be loved. But I loved her. ME. I always will!¡±


    ¡°Oh, Rosie, I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    The thought of her checking through her mum¡¯s possessions as a child, scared that her provider would take an overdose and leave her behind was nothing short of horror. The tremble of Rosie¡¯s lip said it all. I wasn¡¯t going to block her fountain of emotion finding its release.


    ¡°So, you technically cheated on your wife? When you already knew she didn¡¯t want you? Fine. And you like younger girls, and you had a lot of sex with them? What¡¯s so bad about that?¡±


    I answered as calmly as I could.


    ¡°A lot is bad about that. Cheating isn¡¯t ok, no matter what the circumstances, and those girls shouldn¡¯t have been taken advantage of. I should have been the mature party.¡±


    ¡°They were legal age, right?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t dispute that. I nodded.


    ¡°Yes, they were.¡±


    ¡°And they wanted you? You didn¡¯t force anyone?¡±


    ¡°No, of course I didn¡¯t force anyone.¡±


    ¡°And they wanted you, yes?¡± she repeated.


    I pictured all the flirtatious nces and lip biting, and the glee the girls I fucked showed when I sumbed to their efforts and initiated filthy contact.


    ¡°Yes, they wanted it.¡±


    ¡°Great. So, why do you think that¡¯s worth capital punishment? You really think that¡¯s worth the death penalty?¡±


    When she put it like that, it sounded quite disproportionate. But it wasn¡¯t just about that.


    ¡°My family disowned me, and rightly so. It¡¯s about them, and saying goodbye now I¡¯ve disgraced them and tainted my memory.¡± I paused. ¡°Maybe it was selfish of me. Wanting to wipe out my own existence after leaving theirs.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not selfish!¡± she cried. ¡°I¡¯m not ming you, Julian, I¡¯m just saying you¡¯re hurting, and kicking your own self-worth down, and you¡¯re torn to pieces inside. That needs help. That deserves help. You don¡¯t deserve to punish yourself like this!¡±


    ¡°And neither does your mother, of course. I know that must have broken you,¡± I said, and she nodded, tears beginning to spill.


    ¡°I tried to help, and I tried to get her to the doctors, and I tried to tell her she needed therapy, or support, or whatever else it would take, because it wasn¡¯t fair she had to go through that. It wasn¡¯t fair her parents made her believe she was that shit, by throwing her out when she was pregnant at seventeen!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry to hear that was the case. And it wasn¡¯t fair that YOU had to go through that, either,¡± I told her, stabbed by the realisation of poor Beverly¡¯s inner torture. ¡°Has she tried to contact them? Her parents? Maybe they can build some bridges. With therapy alongside that, she may be able to feel some relief.¡±


    ¡°So, what about you?¡± Rosie replied, shifting the focus back onto me.


    ¡°Have you tried to build any bridges? You said you left without looking back, when they disowned you. They don¡¯t even know where you are, do they?¡±


    My own walls came up.


    ¡°They won¡¯t want to build bridges. I¡¯m nothing but a seedy embarrassment.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know that! They might!¡±


    I pictured Katreya¡¯s shocked rage, and the way Grace screamed at me, condemning me as nothing more than a depraved, abusive cunt.


    Rosie must have known there was no point trying to convince me at that point. She took out all of the pills and ced them by the sink.


    ¡°Promise me you won¡¯t do this,¡± she said. ¡°You told me you love me. Is that true?¡±


    There was no doubt in my heart.


    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s true.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m begging you, then, please. Just like I begged Mum. Please, promise me you won¡¯t do this. I don¡¯t want you to leave my life. Not ever. I don¡¯t want you to feel like you have to give up on yours!¡±


    Her hurt and panic was so palpable, and seeing her there, so fragile and genuine with her soul on full disy, was enough to surpass my own.


    ¡°I promise,¡± I told her, my own feelings of built-up depression and self-hate smashed by her pain.


    With that she broke. The sobs came, and the relief came, and she put her hand to her chest, her eyes still on me.


    ¡°You swear?!¡±


    ¡°I swear,¡± I said, and held her tight as she let the dam burst inside.


    I did swear it, because Rosie was too much of a delicate, beautiful creature to hurt. My family had banished me, and I deserved that, but Rosie didn¡¯t deserve my suffering to affect her. She was a divine spark of a soul, worthy of everything I had to give.


    ¡°I love you,¡± she said through the sobs. ¡°Please, believe me, Julian. I do!¡±


    ¡°And I love you, too,¡± I told her, and with that, the tiniest glimmer of hope blessed me, shining through the heaps of fatality I¡¯d held in an icy grip since I walked away from Oxford.


    Maybe my little princess was right, after all. Maybe age gaps meant nothing, and our future could wind ahead, further than this excuse of a shithole. She was worthy of whatever she wanted, everything she craved and loved and desired, no matter what that everything would be.


    One thing was for sure as a result of that.


    I held her tighter and kissed the top of her head.


    I¡¯d do my very best to give it to her.

 Chapter 113

    ROSIE


    I felt so secure as i woke in julian¡¯s arms. The night had brought connections between us I didn¡¯t even know were possible. Any walls between us had fallen away and left nothing but soul to soul alongside body to body. I felt like I belonged here, with him. I¡¯d never imagined I could be so wanted by such an amazing man.


    Julian was an amazing man, but he¡¯d lost sight of it, buried under guilt and shame. I was going to do everything I could to make him happy, just as he was giving his all to help me. I never, ever wanted that to change.


    I looked at him as he was sleeping, breaths steady at my side, and I knew I could stay here for ever. I didn¡¯t want to move.


    My filthy saviour had been less than bothered about period bloodst night. He¡¯d fucked me like it meant nothing to have his cock, fingers and his mouth smeared red, but I didn¡¯t want to bleed all over the bed and everything else in his apartment. I¡¯d likely left smears enough already. His tissues were good, but they wouldn¡¯t cut it as sanitary towels, so shove it. He could tell me it didn¡¯t matter all he wanted, but I needed to grab some of my own supplies from downstairs. I needed to take some responsibility, at least.


    I should probably book an appointment at the clinic and get some contraception meds started soon as well, counting this one period as a lucky blessing, given how much I¡¯d had Julian¡¯s cock inside me.


    The thought of climbing down the stairs and letting myself in through my own front door felt alien, but it may as well be now.


    I didn¡¯t want to disturb my sleeping hero, so I slid out of the covers as softly as I could. I hadn¡¯t bothered to charge my phonest night. I had to scout around the apartment to even find it. There it was, on the dining room table behind some coffee mugs.


    I picked it up with a yawn and flicked on the screen, expecting my usual solitary check in message from Mum, but not this time. I had five missed calls fromtest night. I could hardly breathe as I clicked to open hertest messages.


    I called into the pizza house on the way to work to get a sight of you. I know you quit, and they¡¯d never heard of Jenny.


    The next one.


    Where the hell are you? Who is Jenny? I know she¡¯s a guy, so bring him over. He can stay in your room, you aren¡¯t twelve, you know. At least let me meet him.


    The idea of presenting the man upstairs in our living room with a SURPRISE! was enough to give me shivers. Mum would probably faint out cold before she even had the chance to start yelling. The whole block would be there with popcorn as chaos unfolded, because Mum would never ept Julian was the love of my life, not in a billion years.


    It mmed it into me in full colour, and not just in fuzzy imagination. Real life really was out there, waiting, but I didn¡¯t want to be a part of it. I preferred my cocoon up here, so I needed to protect it as well as possible. My bravery shrivelled up in seconds.


    I checked the time, and it was still early. Mum wouldn¡¯t be home from her night shift yet, so I took advantage of it. Fast. I threw on my solitary outfit and checked my face wasn¡¯t still covered in the aftermath of marker pen obscenities, and then I dashed downstairs with a thumping heart, two steps at a time. I only had a few short minutes.


    It felt weird to put my key in the door and dart inside. I grabbed the few sanitary towels I still had stashed in the bathroom drawer, and I could do with at least a few more clothes. I couldn¡¯t live either naked or in Julian¡¯s shirts and socks for ever.


    I jammed a selection from my wardrobe into a bag without care. Some tops, some jeans. Socks, bras, knickers. I didn¡¯t even bother to close my bag, I was so desperate to get out of there. I checked that my room looked the same and I hadn¡¯t ransacked it in desperation, grateful that I was still in time to get back upstairs before Mum stepped through the door, because I wasn¡¯t ready to face her yet. The questions would be way, way harder to field in person. She knew me far too well.


    I sighed with grateful relief when I closed the front door behind me, just in time to escape without Mum catching me. I was charging across the hall to the ascending stairs when I heard Trisha¡¯s door opening. My lovely neighbour stepped right on out before I had the chance to get out of sight, bouncing Ramsay in her arms.


    Oh, my fucking life, it was the worst possible timing.


    Fuck.This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    Our eyes met.


    There was no avoiding the obvious. I was standing there like a criminal with my hand on the banister rail and a bag of half spilling clothes on my shoulder, and she looked at me with piercing eyes.


    ¡°Where are you off to?¡± she asked.


    What could I say? I was on the spot, floundering. I couldn¡¯t say I meant to go downstairs, not upstairs, so I faked a grin, hating how much I was lying. I blustered, struggling.


    ¡°I thought I¡¯d call in on Bertie upstairs. I heard he was struggling a bit with his crutches, so I thought I¡¯d ask him if he needed anything from the shop on my way back from college.¡±


    She looked at the bag on my shoulder.


    ¡°College. Right.¡± Her eyes were so suspicious they burnt. She turned back to her door to lock up, and I used the chance to give her a bye, catch youter, before I kept on climbing, but I didn¡¯t get far before her voice sounded out again. ¡°Bev said you quit the pizza ce. Weird you didn¡¯t tell her, don¡¯t you think?¡±


    I turned back around to face Mum¡¯s best friend. ¡°Yeah, I did quit. It was interfering with college.¡±


    ¡°Right, sure. Does this Jenny girl hang around with you at college, then? I thought she was from the pizza ce.¡± ¡°No, Jenny isn¡¯t from college.¡±


    ¡°So, where¡¯s she from? Is she local?¡±


    I hated how Trisha felt she was entitled to know everything in the universe. She was a curtain twitcher at the best of the times, and a gossip about every single person in Crenham Drive. I knew that whatever I said would be around the estate within hours, so I opted for another lie, feeling like an asshole, but I daren¡¯t even think about telling her the truth.


    ¡°Dine¡¯s Green. She¡¯s from Dine¡¯s Green.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Trisha said. ¡°I know a load of families in Dine¡¯s Green. You¡¯ll probably have seen them around. I¡¯ll ask them to take care of you, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    Her smile was so fake that I knew I was doomed. She¡¯d likely be messaging people from the very moment she had her phone in her hand, and I didn¡¯t have anything to say. I was already dug deep into a hole of my own lies that I couldn¡¯t get out of. So I baulked. Bailed. Bought myself some time.


    ¡°I¡¯d better get up there to Bertie,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve got college soon.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± she replied, with another fake smile. ¡°You¡¯d best get up to him. Say hi from me.¡±


    Trisha didn¡¯t give a shit about Bertie. Thank fuck nobody really liked her in this ce. He¡¯d probably tell her to get lost if she went calling. I just prayed she wouldn¡¯t snoop that far. At least uncovering the no Jenny in Dine¡¯s Green would take a little bit longer.


    I bounded upstairs with another see youter, but kept my back pressed tight to the wall around the corner, just out of view, until I made sure she¡¯d left the ce. I heard the main door m closed downstairs, and the true force of our conversation fully hit me. Trisha was onto me¡­


    And so was Mum.


    With Trisha fuelling the fire, I had no chance of maintaining the secrecy. I felt sick as I let myself back in to Julian¡¯s, hating how our cocoon of a life was going to be shattered to pieces. It was only a matter of time.


    ¡°Hey, sweetheart,¡± he called out from the kitchen, and I went in to find him pouring out thest of the muesli between two bowls. ¡°I think we¡¯ll be on the remains of my crappy pre-made pasta soon. We¡¯re almost out of decent supplies. At some point I¡¯m going to have to step out of here.¡±


    He caught sight of my bag, with the clothes thrown inside. He mistook it for being a good thing, his face lighting up.


    ¡°Excellent. Feel free to use the wardrobe. There¡¯s plenty of space in there.¡±


    If only he knew¡­


    Shit. I¡¯d have to tell him.


    There were no more berries for muesli, so he handed the bowl over to me with nothing but milk and sugar. I was shaking as I took it from him, and his eyes narrowed on mine.


    ¡°Are you ok? What just happened?¡±


    My God, I was so scared of his response, and his fear, and his freaking out at the thought that we¡¯d be busted. I bbed it all out in one long stream, to get it out of the way as quickly as possible.


    ¡°Mum messaged, she knows I quit work and that there is no Jenny. I went down before she got home to grab some things, and I needed sanitary towels, and I was quick, I swear, but Trisha saw me on the stairs, and I said it was about Bertie, and helping him get some shopping after college, but she knows something¡¯s up, and she knows¡±


    He cut my ramble short, putting his hands on my shoulders.


    ¡°Take a breath,¡± he said. ¡°At least you didn¡¯t have slut written across your forehead.¡±


    Heughed.


    I didn¡¯t. I covered my face in my hands and groaned.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, seriously. I should have been more careful. I could havee up with something better than Jenny, right from the start.¡±


    ¡°Shh,¡± he said, and nted a kiss on my head. ¡°We were on a limited time window, and that was always the case. This ce isn¡¯t exactly a private ind, and you couldn¡¯t stay locked in here for ever, no matter how tempting the prospect would be.¡±


    I got a fresh bout of nerves. ¡°What happens now, then? Do I go downstairs and sneak up here when nobody¡¯s looking? Do I pretend I¡¯ve split up with Jenny, and go back to college and wait until I can get up here when there¡¯s nobody to see me?¡±


    His eyes were so serious. ¡°Is that what you want?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I said. ¡°But you don¡¯t want the bullshit, do you? Everyone will be out to cause shit. Mum will freak out, and Trisha will be a bitch around the whole city.¡±

 Chapter 114

    He shrugged, still calm. ¡°I¡¯ve been caught out already, for much greater crimes. My double life in Oxford would have caused me and everyone else considerably less hell if I¡¯d have been transparent about it from the start, but I¡¯m not putting that demand onto you. It¡¯s up to you when and if you break the news about Jenny, but I¡¯ll be right here alongside you, if you want that. I¡¯m not running away again.¡±


    I could have cried with relief.


    ¡°Really? You won¡¯t leave? Not even if the whole estate finds out?¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t leave you,¡± he said. ¡°But you¡¯re the one whose rtionships are at stake here. I¡¯ve walked through my own fire before. This is about yours. If you want to y it down and write Jenny off as nothing, I understand.¡±


    I had tough. ¡°That¡¯s the opposite of what I want.¡±


    His expression was still serious. ¡°You¡¯re sure about that? You¡¯d really like to be hand in hand with the seedy sicko from apartment six? Walking through this shithole estate with everyone jeering?¡±


    His words took me aback. That wasn¡¯t how I saw it. Julian wasn¡¯t a seedy sicko from apartment six, he was the man I¡¯d fallen in love with, who loved me in return.


    ¡°I¡¯m pointing out the truth,¡± he continued. ¡°That¡¯s what it will be like. You¡¯ll be a public spectacle with everyone in your life casting judgement. They¡¯ll be maintaining that I¡¯m a pervert, especially if they see me with you. It won¡¯t be pleasant.¡±


    For once in my life, I was d I didn¡¯t have many people I gave a shit about.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡±


    His hands squeezed my shoulders. ¡°I think you might do, when ites to it.¡±


    ¡°No, I won¡¯t,¡± I said. ¡°People have been bitching at me since I was a kid. Idiots can say what they like, and I won¡¯t give a shit. You¡¯re not a seedy sicko.¡± I paused. ¡°The only person¡¯s opinion I really give a toss about is


    Mum.¡±


    Julian¡¯s eyes were so caring as he looked down at me.


    ¡°She¡¯d better be the one you tell first then, hadn¡¯t she?¡±


    OceanofPDF.


    Chapter Twenty


    JULIAN


    ONE MORE NIGHT  THAT¡¯S WHAT ROSIE DECIDED ON. OUR FINAL NIGHT OF cocooning before we braced ourselves and stepped into the obvious condemnation awaiting outside.


    I wanted to make it a night to remember.


    She was showering when I poked my head into the bathroom to let her know that I was heading into town. She was grinning as she pulled the shower curtain to the side.


    ¡°Really? You sure? Aren¡¯t youing in here with me?¡±


    Her smile was infectious. She was turning into more of a cute little vixen every day.


    The very sight of her there under the cascade was more than enough fuel to break my determination. But no. I had ns that needed fulfilling.


    ¡°I need cigarettes,¡± I said, and I wasn¡¯t lying. I usually kept a decent supply, but I was practically down to thest one.


    ¡°Cool,¡± she said. ¡°See you in a bit, then.¡±


    ¡°Do you want anything?¡±This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    ¡°Nope. I¡¯m all good.¡± Her eyes were so beautiful. ¡°I just want you.¡±


    ¡°Touche.¡±


    I turned away before my instincts took full hold, and I forced myself out of there.


    It felt bizarrely surreal to step foot onto the street again, into the light of day outside. It was as though we¡¯d been holed up for months in my apartment, not just days. It struck me then, as I walked, just how unpredictable our life was going to be from now on. The very second the news of our secret love affair exploded, it would be us against the world. I only hoped Rosie would be able to cope.


    I was rtivelyfortable for my own part as to the blow up of judgements thaty ahead. There would be no jeers or hateful names that could ever kick me in the guts as hard as my own family¡¯s had, but Rosie would be new to the ying field. I was the one who¡¯d been doing the misdeed in the situation, not her, but unfortunately it would be her who¡¯d have to face the full extent of the consequences. Particrly the ones with her mother. The question would be whether Rosie would be able to leave Beverly behind if it became an ultimatum. Beverly was her flesh and blood. It had almost killed me to leave mine.


    I pushed that thought to the side as best I could.


    I¡¯d already looked up the highest regarded butchers in Worcester. They were in Lowesmoor, with hundreds of glowing reviews online. I chose their finest beef fillet, and I followed that up with a trip to an excellent vegetable stall in the market hall for asparagus, green beans and parsnips. Maris piper potatoes for dauphinoise, and pastry supplies and creme fraiche from one of the boutique kitchen houses, along with a few tubs of local thick cream, coffee, and a delicious looking chocte fudge cake. I chose champagne and some fine ales from an upmarket off license, along with a summer fruit gin I knew Rosie would love. Then finally, with a smile on my face, I came to one of the key destinations on my mission. A deluxe florist on the way to Foregate Street.


    One bouquet stood out for me more than any other. Purity personified, with the most beautiful sh of colour. Traditional, and stunning. Red roses and glorious white lilies.


    The woman behind the counter gave me a coy smile as I handed them over for wrapping.


    ¡°Someone¡¯s going to be a very luckydyter.¡±


    I wondered who the florist was picturing in her head when she looked at me. Someone like Katreya, most likely, someone my own age. Maybe a demure woman in her thirties.


    If only she could see Rosie. An eighteen-year-old girl whose virginity I¡¯d imed, whose ass I¡¯d destroyed, whose perfect skin I¡¯d been scribbling filth over for days.


    The girl I loved.


    She may not be grinning so brightly if she could do.


    I took a cab on the way back to the estate, putting the driver on hold in the supermarket car park en route. Time for some essentials. My stack of cigarettes was only the beginning of the store errand. I restocked on everything from tissues to toilet rolls, to sanitary towels for Rosie, and some of her favourite coconut shampoo and conditioner. I grabbed more muesli and fresh milk, and kitchen wipes, and it felt refreshing to be acting like a partner again, not a loser living in a cesspit, alone. I even got some new body wash for my angel, a sweet looking bubble-gum scented one with a unicorn on the bottle. What a novelty. I knew it would make Rosieugh.


    I had my supermarket haul all lined up on the conveyor belt when it became obvious that fate was intent on being an all-out cunt today. I took a look back to find Trisha was behind me in the queue, scoping out my shopping with raised eyebrows. I hoped she would keep her mouth shut and mind her own business, but she didn¡¯t. She looked almost smug.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t have thought you¡¯d like bubble-gum body wash, Julian.¡±


    I despised how she feltfortable using my name so casually, despite the fact we¡¯d never been formally introduced.


    ¡°You may be surprised by my tastes, Trisha,¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t think we¡¯ve met yet, have we?¡±


    Her eyes were on the sanitary towels as the cashier rang them through. Her brain was clearly ticking as her eyes mped back on mine. She ignored my question.


    ¡°Haven¡¯t seen you around for a while. Have you been away?¡±


    I knew what she was digging at. Her stare said it all.

 Chapter 115

    Since she was going to be obnoxious and ignore my question, I was going to do the same to her. I was relieved when the cashier finished ringing through my items and I could swipe my card on the machine.


    ¡°Have a nice day,¡± I said to the idiot neighbour, but that was all. I didn¡¯t give her so much as a backwards nce.


    I was out of there as quickly as possible, jumping into the taxi with my haul. Our forbidden cocoon time was running out, especially now that I¡¯d given Trisha more fuel for the fire. The egg timer had most certainly been turned.


    Rosie was organising her stash of clothes in the wardrobe when I returned home with my armfuls of shopping. I put the bags on the floor and presented her flowers with a kiss on the cheek.


    She looked at them in delight as she took them. ¡°Wow! They¡¯re just beautiful. Thank you.¡±


    Her joy was infinitely more beautiful than a bouquet could ever be.


    ¡°Have you never been given flowers before?¡± I asked, and she shook her head.


    ¡°No. I just¡­¡± She threw her arms around me, still clutching them tight. ¡°Thank you. I don¡¯t know what else to say.¡±


    ¡°Flowers are only the beginning of today¡¯s festivities,¡± I said, smirking as I took up the rest of the shopping from the floor.


    She followed me, and used one of my pint sses as a vase as I began to unpack the supplies.


    ¡°No peeking,¡± I said from the refrigerator. ¡°Tonight will be a surprise.¡±


    ¡°A surprise?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I¡¯m going to show you the full extent of my culinary talents.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re going to cook a meal? A posh one, I bet.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll certainly be making more than just a fry up. You can rate it for poshness once it¡¯spleted. I just hope you enjoy it.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll enjoy anything you make,¡± she said. ¡°Anything. Always.¡±


    Her heart shone through her eyes, and I got a sh of adoration that warmed me through to my soul.


    My conscience prickled at that, because maybe I should have told her about my run in with Trisha, but I didn¡¯t want to take away from her happiness in that moment. I would save that news forter.


    Beef wellington took a while to prepare that afternoon. The crisscross of perfect pastry needed to be made to perfection.


    ¡°Smells amazing!¡± Rosie called from the living room at regr intervals, sitting cutely cross legged on my sofa with myptop on herp. Turns out, it wasn¡¯t just my voice reading my old documents that she was interested in, since I was busy. She was curious enough to be scouting through them onscreen. I felt strangely on trial, even though I¡¯d been the professor doing the marking for years.


    She was wide-eyed with affection when I took a solitary rose from the kitchen and ced it on its own in a small ss on the table. Iid out our mismatching cutlery and took the champagne bottle from the fridge, inviting her over by pulling out her chair as I was ready to dish up our main courses.


    She pped her hands together as she took her seat. Her childlike excitement was a joy.


    ¡°Bon appetite,¡± I said as I presented her dinner, quite proud of my work.


    I¡¯d forgotten just how much I enjoyed cooking, just as I¡¯d forgotten how much I¡¯d enjoyed life itself. I was alive to a new tune as I poured our champagnes and raised mine in a toast.


    ¡°To us, Rosie. And to the beautiful way you saved me.¡±


    ¡°To us, Julian,¡± she said. ¡°And to the beautiful way you saved me.¡±


    She tucked into her meal with mmms like I was a Michelin starred chef. I watched her eat thest of her roasted parsnips in fascination. She glowed with such enthusiasm over such simple pleasures. I could only begin to imagine her level of joy at the wider world.


    She praised my writing, and she praised my attentiveness, and for the skills I¡¯d shown in the kitchen. It felt incredible to be so appreciated.


    She was sitting finished, her hand on her stomach as she turned the conversation to more serious angles.


    ¡°What do you want me to do?¡± she asked. ¡°If Mum throws me out, or she lets me stay, because I don¡¯t know. I think there¡¯ll be a lot of shouting, but for once I¡¯m going to stand up to her, and anyone else that wants to talk crap at me. They¡¯ll be wrong. Every single one of them that thinks bad of you will be wrong.¡±


    I wished I believed her, but there was no chance of that, hence there would be no chance whatsoever that anyone else would.


    I, Julian Lockley, am a sex addict, who likes the degradation of barely legal girls.


    This time I waspletely in love with one of them, but that wouldn¡¯t make any difference to the outside world. I¡¯d still be a pervert exploiting a sweet little rose.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be here regardless,¡± I said. ¡°Whatever it takes, whatever it needs, whatever it demands.¡±


    ¡°I love the way you talk. What you mean is that you¡¯ll be a hero, isn¡¯t it? You have been from day one. You¡¯re better than the heroes in your novels, you know? You should write one about yourself, not a guy trying to solve a murder mystery.¡±


    Iughed at that, taking her hand and squeezing it in thanks.


    ¡°I could write one about being the guy in a murder mystery if it everes to it. I¡¯d happily be that character if needed. Not much of a storyline though. Did you kill the cunt? Yes. I did.¡±


    Rosieughed at that. But it was true. I¡¯d do it and stand by it, if I needed to. I¡¯d always be Rosie¡¯s hero, even if it meant sticking a knife into an abusive bastard¡¯s rib cage.


    She raised her ss again. ¡°To us, and to my hero. And his yummy beef wellington.¡±


    ¡°To us. And yummy chocte fudge dessert. I¡¯ll go and get it.¡±


    I finished up my champagne and felt the tension as I leant in close to take her te. Her kiss lingered on my cheek as she gave more sweet thanks, but the chemistry was already pulsing. Her breaths were already shallow.


    The undercurrent was always there between us, thrumming deep in mutual fixation. But tonight there was the added build-up of the climax. One final night before the storm.


    My cock was throbbing hard when I got our desserts and walked through to the dining table with the cream. I was offering Rosie¡¯s cake to her when she took unspoken initiative and pulled the top of her PJs up and over her head. Mutual fixation didn¡¯t evene close. Her tits were there waiting, nipples hard, and that was it. Cake forgotten.


    I practically dropped the bowls onto the coffee table as Rosie kicked off her panties and PJ bottoms. Holy fucking Christ, she drove me crazy.


    I was still suited as I lifted her up and sat her on the edge of the dining table. She tugged off my tie as shended her mouth on mine, and my hands were besotted with her, teasing at her nipples as I moaned around her tongue.


    I spread her legs by the knees, uncaring of everything else in the world but the need for her. She was bloody, and sensitive, gasping as I yed. More. Her body screamed that she wanted more. She leant back on the table, arching herself, but that wasn¡¯t enough for me. Seeing here there, in that position, was enough to set the scene.


    Chocte fudge cake wasn¡¯t the only dessert I wanted with cream.


    I pushed her onto her back so she was lying t, her legs reaching for me over the edge. She was the new dinner spread. I undressed myself in a fervour as she watched me, confidently. Her hair fanned backwards and her sses sat clumsily, but she was secure in her own skin, eyes shining. She really was bing my vixen. A beautifully dirty little princess.


    A princess who deserved a gift from the knight out to take her.


    I pulled the single red rose from its makeshift vase and trailed its petals right the way over her tits, down her stomach, to tickle the inside of her thigh. A rose for my Rosie. My pretty dessert at the end of our meal.


    My fucking God, I was hungry for her.This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    With that, I picked up the pot of cream from the table, held it high, and poured it all the way down her body. She braced herself, moaning as the cream sttered and ran, and that made my cock throb even more.


    Bon appetite, indeed.

 Chapter 116

    ROSIE


    JULIAN was an artist with cream. MY tits were streaming with thick white rivers. He trailed sshes down my stomach. And lower¡­


    I gasped as he covered my pussy in long dribbles, squirming and grinning as he made his way right back up again. Slowly. I knew what he was going to do as he held the pot of cream up over my face. I offered him my tongue, and he treated my mouth like a slut needing cum  tipping the pot from way up high. My sses got sttered, and my freshly washed hair was a mess, but I didn¡¯t care. My lips were dribbling, and my tongue was drenched, gooey, and it was perfect. Cold and sweet.


    I didn¡¯t swallow any of the cream until he kissed me. His tonguepped around my lips, smearing more, and then it was wet, thick, creamy kisses as I moaned along with him. He had me. I was crazy for him. Absolutely, fullon crazy for him.


    I was a sloppy mess when he took hold of my face and broke the kiss. His lips were as smeared as mine, glistening, and I wanted more. Always, always more.


    I pulled him back for another kiss, my creamy fingers in his hair. I held him close, caking his bare chest in white as I wrapped my legs up around him.


    Blood, cream, mess¡­ I didn¡¯t care, and neither did he. I wanted the cream on his skin, though. I wanted him to be as slippery and as messy as me.


    Luckily, the pot on the table was a big one. I wanted to be a kinky little bitch and picked up the pot from the table. I trailed fresh cream down myself, ying with the streams as I did it, smearing my tits and my pussy.


    Julian watched like I was a performer, totally absorbed as I writhed and rubbed. And then he responded, lowering his head to my tits, mouth open wide. His tongue was bliss. He worked paths slowly around my skin,pping like a dream, down and down and down. I didn¡¯t even want to picture what a mess my pussy must be, or what it would taste like, but he didn¡¯t hold back. He drove me wild, sying and sucking, teasing me until I was moaning, but I wanted to feel his cock in me. I needed his cock.


    I felt like such a needy whore as I begged him to fuck me. Please. Please. Please, Julian. Please!


    He smirked at first as he shook his head to deny me, kissing more messy cream down my thigh and nibbling and biting my love bite bruises.


    Please! I begged again, and my heart leapt as he got to his feet, but no. It was his turn to be coated with the cream next. His dick was raging hard as he poured thest of the cream all over him, from his stomach, down over the length of his cock to his balls. His cock looked like a sweet, dirty, wet lollipop and I was hungry for it. He presented himself to my mouth and I did my best to lick up every single bit, not wanting to waste a drop. My best wasn¡¯t quite good enough, though. Cream dribbled down my chin, making me giggle as I smiled up at him through my cream smeared sses. My giggle only spurred him on. He took hold of my stted hair and worked his cock to the back of my throat, fucking my face with that dirty lolly like he wanted to choke me on it. I gagged and I spluttered and cream went everywhere but I loved every single second of it, moaning like a bitch in heat.


    I groaned in protest as he pulled himself free.


    ¡°Shh,¡± he said, and I did as I was told. ¡°Time to take it.¡±


    With that, he rolled me over onto my front and positioned himself behind me. He was still slick with cream as he pinned me down, his chest to my back as he kicked my ankles wide.


    He didn¡¯t give me any warning. No warmup required.


    We moaned in sync as he pushed his cock all the way inside my messy pussy. He took my hair in his fist andpped at my ear, breathing hard.


    ¡°You like thick, white cream in your cunt, don¡¯t you?¡± he whispered, and I nodded, my scalp tight as he kept my hair fisted.


    ¡°I love your thick, white cream in my cunt.¡±


    My reply spurred him on. His thrusts were fierce and strong, balls pping cream as he fucked me. I took it all. He turned my face to the side and I kissed him as he pounded. I didn¡¯t give a shit about how filthy his mouth was, or how he tasted, or the squelchy sounds my pussy was making as he fucked me. I didn¡¯t give a shit about anything but him. The world was just us. Us and dirty, thick cream¡­


    Julian knew how to y me. He tilted himself to put pressure on the spot inside that always drove me mad. I hadn¡¯t even known that spot existed until he¡¯d shown it to me, but now I was obsessed. He circled as he mmed and I felt the pleasure build. I was gasping against his mouth, sliding against the tabletop back and forth until the pressure became too much, and I started to buck back at him.


    I was feral. A dirty bitch who was nothing like the girl who¡¯d gently yed with her clit in the dark through her teens. Julian had converted me to his ways, and there was nothing I wouldn¡¯t do now. Nothing I wouldn¡¯t show him. His wish was mymand.


    He fucked me until I was done and at my peak, crying out and bucking. He worked me until I was a panting wreck in the aftermath, and then it was his turn¡­


    He rubbed his wet dick against my asshole before I was ready for it, but I didn¡¯t give a fuck, I urged him on. I must have looked like pure filth as he stood tall and spread my ass cheeks wide for a better view. I made sure I moved against him in just the way he liked it, propping myself on my elbows and staring back at him like he was a god.


    I felt like a demonic little angel, spurred on by his kinks.


    He pushed his creamy thumb into my ass and I moaned for him, a slutty moan that came from somewhere deep and I loved it.


    ¡°Good girl,¡± he said, then scooped up cream with his fingers, making sure he showed me  three fingers thick with cream.


    Our gazes locked and the pleasure on his face as he pushed those fingers into my ass had me moaning again.


    ¡°You like that, princess?¡±


    I did. But I knew what he really wanted.


    I looked at him through my cream sttered sses. ¡°I love it,¡± I said, ¡°but I¡¯d love your creamy cock more.¡±


    His grin said it all. I dipped my head and gritted my teeth as he pulled his fingers free and positioned himself.


    Turns out thick cream makes for good lube. He was so slick, his cock stretched me and he went all the way deep in one long thrust.


    ¡°Fuck,¡± he said.


    ¡°Fuck me,¡± I replied without thinking.


    ¡°My pleasure,¡± he said and used my ass like a savage until he gave me cream of his own. He tipped his head back, and gritted his teeth, grunting over and over in the way I loved. I was grinning wide as I watched him, clenching my ass as tight as I could, not wanting to miss a single drop.


    He copsed when he¡¯d finished, his weight heavy on me, and luckily the table stayed steady. Iughed in the aftermath, high on sensations, and heughed along with me.


    ¡°That was incredible,¡± he said, and I nodded to agree with him.


    He kissed my cheek before he moved, stillughing as he got back to his feet again.


    I rolled over to face him, and he showed me the empty cream pot.


    ¡°I guess it¡¯ll be cake without cream tonight,¡± he said, and I held out my hands so he could pull me up.


    ¡°I¡¯ll survive.¡±


    We were hot and slimy as we drank the rest of the champagne together, passing the bottle back and forth. I didn¡¯t bother wiping my sses clean, or trying to mop up the mess from me, just looked at Julian in bliss as we munched on cake together. I wished I could stay here for all time, immune to the outside world.


    ¡°Shower time,¡± he said finally. I wrapped my arms around his neck and jumped into his arms, and he carried me to the bathroom. I was still in his arms as he pulled the shower curtain back and turned on the cascade. I had to toss my smeared sses onto the cab as he stepped in.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.

 Chapter 117

    I knew he wasn¡¯t anywhere near done yet when his cock stood proud as soon as we were under the flow. The water stole away the mess until we were pure skin again, but I didn¡¯t want that. I wanted to be dirty, dirty, dirty. I told him so.


    ¡°Steady on,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ll get you plenty dirty, don¡¯t worry about that. We¡¯ve got a long, long road ahead.¡±


    I prayed so. Even the idea of being without him would tear me to pieces.


    We fucked again with me pinned against the tiles. He pped my ass for being such a naughty girl, and I whimpered for more under the steam. There was nothing, NOTHING, I didn¡¯t want from him. Nothing that would ever turn me off. Nothing I wouldn¡¯t take if it was offered  it was all down to him.


    My filthy saviour.


    My kinky addict.


    My hero.


    ¡°Oh shit, I just remembered something,¡± he said. ¡°Stay right there.¡± He dashed out of the shower and returned a minuteter.


    ¡°Got you this,¡± he said and handed me a bottle with a grin on his face.N?vel(D)rama.Org''s content.


    Bubble gum scented body wash, with a unicorn on the front.


    I couldn¡¯t helpughing.


    ¡°I knew you¡¯d like it,¡± he said and washed my hair for the second time that day, and my sses were scrubbed clean by body wash, along with the rest of me. We were both wrapped in nothing but token towels when we finished up in the bathroom, stillughing together as we cleaned up the carnage at the dining table. I even loved the domesticities with Julian in this ce. In some ways they were the nicest moments of all.


    Home.


    Julian was my home now.


    I wiped up as he washed the dishes, enjoying the ease of hispany as he talked me through the intricacies of beef wellington, and the beauties of creamy sex.


    ¡°I¡¯m so spoiled,¡± I told him. ¡°Roses, champagne, top-ss cheffing¡­ bubble gum, unicorns, and your cock in my ass.¡±


    ¡°You deserve it.¡± He grinned. ¡°Especially my cock in your ass. You¡¯re the most amazing, dirty princess there could be.¡±


    He was the amazing one. I just wanted to live up to his wants. His needs. I only wished people would be able to see how well he treated me. How valued I felt every time I looked in his eyes. People wouldn¡¯t care about that, though. All they would see was a huge age gap and a seedy old man preying on a naive little idiot.


    The thoughts were already creeping in under my smiles as reality kicked in. I knew our quiet bliss was running out. Every second was one less before the chaos hit us.


    Julian got himself a beer and made me a summer fruit gin and tonic. We were still in towels as he lit up one of his cigarettes at the window. The way he blew smoke out always kept me transfixed.


    The night was still pretty young, all considered, but I didn¡¯t want to go to bed yet. It felt like that really would be the end of the hidden bliss. We¡¯d close our eyes for sleep, wake up, then find it was time to face the music. Trisha would have been snooping around Dine¡¯s Green pretty hardcore by now to back up her case before she spread it around the estate like it was the God¡¯s honest truth.


    I voiced some thoughts out loud.


    ¡°Mum gets back early in the morning from her night shift,¡± I said. ¡°Maybe I should be there when she gets back? I don¡¯t want her to find out rumours from Trisha, because she will. Trisha will have been digging for ammunition all day. She¡¯ll use whatever she can get as soon as she can get it.¡±


    Julian started, upright.


    ¡°Shit, Rosie, I need to talk to you about that.¡±


    He looked horrified, like he was about to reveal a huge crime.


    ¡°What?¡± I asked. ¡°What do you need to talk to me about?¡±


    He stubbed his cigarette out and joined me on the sofa, his towel still around his waist.


    ¡°I should have told you much sooner, I¡¯m sorry,¡± he said. ¡°I had an, um¡­ encounter today, at the supermarket checkout.¡±


    ¡°An encounter?¡±


    ¡°With Trisha.¡±


    Oh fuck. My stomach dropped.


    ¡°Ok, sure, right,¡± I blustered. ¡°Did she say anything? Did she do anything?


    I know she can be an asshole.¡±


    My brain was whirring, trying to work through a zillion different spectacles as he took a breath.


    ¡°She wasn¡¯t an asshole. Rude and over familiar, yes, but not an asshole. She did however see that I was purchasing some unusual supplies for a man living on his own. She passed somements.¡±


    ¡°What supplies?¡±


    ¡°Things I was buying for you. Toiletries, mainly. She was clearly suspicious, and those suspicions were clearly pointed.¡± He sighed. ¡°I¡¯m truly sorry. I¡¯ve been meaning to tell you, but I didn¡¯t want to shatter the quiet time. I thought it might wait until morning.¡±


    But it wouldn¡¯t wait until morning. It never would if it was Trisha.


    ¡°I¡¯d better check my phone,¡± I told him, and got to my feet, scouting out the room for it. Coffee table, no. Side of the sofa, no.


    ¡°My apologies again,¡± Julian said. ¡°Rosie, sit down. I¡¯m sure we¡¯ll have a window, no? I just wanted to make you prepared for her.¡±


    I was still looking for my phone. Windowsill, no¡­ Ah, there it was, on the cab by the TV, and it was shing. I had a message waiting for me.


    Damn it. It wasn¡¯t one message, it was five. All from Mum.


    Julian must have seen my face drop. He shifted in his seat.


    ¡°Are you ok, sweetheart? What is it?¡±


    I sat back down and handed him my phone, messages on screen.


    ¡°Trisha never holds back,¡± I said. ¡°Even the slightest whiff of suspicion and she¡¯d have been all over it like a rash. Sanitary towels and my hand on a banister rail may as well equal criminal evidence for her. Certainly worth gossip.


    Poor Julian had underestimated Trisha¡¯s small-mindedness. He was horrified. He looked from my face to the phone screen and back again.


    ¡°Jesus Christ, I¡¯m so sorry,¡± he said again, and I felt shit for him. He would have had no idea how just a few short hours would lead to half of the estate specting, not least my mum.


    It seemed Trisha had done a good job with it. Mum¡¯s messages were frantic.


    Trisha saw you heading upstairs earlier, was that to Bertie? She saw Julian in the store and he was getting sanitary towels, and I know it¡¯s your time of the month, Rosie. Be honest, are you up there? Are you fucking Julian?


    Herst one said it all.


    You are, aren¡¯t you? So, are youing down here or am Iing up there? Your choice, but you¡¯d better make it soon. I just called in sick to work.


    She¡¯d sent it just twenty minutes ago, and she was still online. The tick came up next to her message as read, so this was it, she knew I¡¯d seen it. Showdown time. Either in our apartment, or up here in Julian¡¯s hallway. Which was it to be?


    I looked at my hero, and he was so concerned for me that it made my heart sing, even in the looming chaos.


    ¡°Do you want me to be there with you?¡± he asked, but I shook my head and got to my feet.


    ¡°I can handle this. But it might be a long conversation, so don¡¯t wait up for me. Get some sleep, because I likely won¡¯t get any.¡±


    He scoffed and rolled his eyes, smiling as though I was speaking the ridiculous for even suggesting it.


    ¡°Fat chance of that, sweetheart,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ll be waiting up for you all night.¡±

 Chapter 118

    ROSIE


    I¡¯LL COME DOWN.


    Those were the three words I sent before I got dressed and prepared myself. I didn¡¯t know how it would go, or how tempers might escte, or how the hell she¡¯d react to me, but despite my stomach churning and nerves making my hands shake, I knew that I had to be truthful. On every level.


    Julian was at my side as I brushed my hair in the mirror. ¡°Are you absolutely certain you don¡¯t want me toe with you? You only have to say the word.¡±


    That sentiment meant so much, but I shook my head with a smile, turning into his arms for a hug.


    ¡°Thank you, but I¡¯ll do this alone. I¡¯ll be back up when I¡¯m done, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    His eyes were so beautiful, so loving. ¡°I hope that¡¯s a pinky promise.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s more than a pinky promise, I promise,¡± I said.


    And then I braced myself. Time to do it.


    ¡°Call me if you need me,¡± Julian said then dropped a kiss on my forehead. ¡°I will.¡±


    And then he let me go.


    My heart was racing and my hands were trembling as I descended the stairs.


    I opened our front door and stepped inside without the pretence of a bag full of things. I wasn¡¯t going to be pretending I was leaving Jenny and returning home.


    Mum was waiting for me, sitting on the sofa without her phone in her hands for once. I could see she¡¯d been crying. A lot. Her eyes were puffy and red, and I got a stab of guilt in the heart. I¡¯d seen Mum struggling with her emotions to breaking point plenty of times before, but it wasn¡¯t usually down to me. I was always the one trying to help her, not hurt her.


    Her attention was all on me as I dropped myself down in the armchair.


    ¡°It¡¯s him, isn¡¯t it?¡± Mum said. ¡°Jenny is the man upstairs? Julian?¡±


    I wasn¡¯t going to deny it, despite the pain in her eyes.


    ¡°Yeah, Jenny is Julian. She¡¯s been Julian from the start.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe this,¡± she said, and the tears started up again.


    I had the urge to say I was sorry, but I wasn¡¯t sorry. Julian was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I didn¡¯t rush over to help her through her tears.


    I kept quiet as she tried to calm her breaths. I waited until she was ready to speak again.


    ¡°You¡¯ve been fucking Julian? For weeks?¡± she said, more tears threatening. ¡°And you didn¡¯t even think of telling me? Why the hell not? Why would you do this? Why would you be with him?! It¡¯s fucking sick, Rosie. SICK!¡± I sped my hands together, stayed steady.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to tell anyone about any of it. It¡¯s between me and him, not the whole of Worcester. I¡¯m sure it¡¯s been shouted from the rooftops by now, though. Thanks to Trisha.¡±


    ¡°Trisha cares!¡± Mum shouted. ¡°She cares about you! That¡¯s why she¡¯s so bothered! That¡¯s the fucking reason she went to the Brewery Tavern and asked the questions about him in the first ce! Because she fucking CARES!¡±


    Shit. That made things moreplicated. I knew Julian had confessed a load of trash in there when he was wasted and alone. I should have known Trisha would head down there and milk it dry.


    ¡°TRISHA CARES!¡± Mum yelled again. ¡°That¡¯s why they told her! They told her everything. EVERYTHING!¡±


    I could imagine her there, bitching at the bar, digging for yet more gossip and ammo. I hated the thought of her smug face. I couldn¡¯t help but sneer.


    ¡°Yeah, sure Trisha gives a shit. Right. Yeah, whatever.¡±


    ¡°SHE DOES!¡±


    I took a deep breath and shook my head. This time I was going to hold my ground.


    ¡°If Trisha really cared and had been there for me, US, when we needed her, I wouldn¡¯t have knocked on Julian¡¯s door in the first ce.¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.


    Mum looked like she¡¯d been pped. Like I¡¯d insulted her, not her best friend.


    ¡°Oh right, so this is Trisha¡¯s fault now, is it? It¡¯s Trisha¡¯s fault you opened your legs for a pervert, despite my fucking warnings. That makes you as sick as him!¡±


    I managed tough at that. ¡°Julian isn¡¯t sick, or a pervert. The people in the pub can say what they like, and Trisha can twist it all she wants, but he isn¡¯t a sicko, Mum. It¡¯s just stupid.¡±


    I shrugged at just how dumb this saga was turning out, because it was stupid. It was like being in a yground.


    ¡°You think this is funny, do you?¡± Mum said. ¡°You¡¯re telling me, that you, my fucking daughter, is fucking a dirty old pervert, and you think it¡¯s fucking funny? Do I look like I¡¯m finding it funny? Don¡¯t be a stupid cow, Rosie. Don¡¯t fuckingugh at me.¡±


    Here it was again. Mum making this about her, and her pain, and her disappointment, and how shit she felt inside. Normally it would be fine. She has a shitty past, and shitty people around her, and is always hurting, and I would always, ALWAYS try to help her. But not tonight. Not in this. I wasn¡¯t going to back down.


    ¡°Actually, I do think it¡¯s funny,¡± I told her. ¡°It¡¯s so stupid it is funny. You don¡¯t know him. I¡¯ve found out he¡¯s the opposite of a sicko, thanks. He¡¯s not a dirty old pervert, and I know it, first hand.¡±


    She didn¡¯t give my words even the slightest bit of respect.


    ¡°You think you know it all, as fucking usual. And that¡¯s because you¡¯re just a fucking kid and don¡¯t know any better. He¡¯s taking advantage of you! He¡¯s been grooming you to be a little ything, and you¡¯re not the first. He¡¯s been doing it to LOADS of girls! LOADS! That¡¯s why he came here in the first fucking ce! He¡¯s on the run. A dirty fucking criminal.¡±


    I had to pull a face. ¡°A criminal? On the run from who?¡±


    ¡°The police!¡±


    I had to shake my head again at the fucking stupidity.


    ¡°You think Julian is on the run from the police? Seriously? Are you for real?¡±


    Jesus, the people at the pub really were gossiping. Every time stuff got whispered ear to ear by drunk, stupid mouths the ims got more ridiculous.


    Mum was looking at me like I was a total fucking idiot.


    ¡°You¡¯re a kid! You¡¯re just too young to see! I should call the police myself to get him arrested. I might, you know. I might!¡±


    That was too much for me. I was just a kid now, was I? Shame I wasn¡¯t just a kid when I should have been one. I wasn¡¯t just a kid when it was me picking up the pieces of drama, hurt, betrayal and unpaid bills. And she wanted to call the police now? Really? Due to rumours about a guy she didn¡¯t even know rather than the guy who actually beat the shit out of people? Who beat the shit out of her?


    ¡°It¡¯s YOU who¡¯s talking shit now!¡± I said, as my hurt med up into rage. ¡°Maybe you should be the one to grow the fuck up around here! Have you ever thought about that?!¡±


    She opened her mouth like I was a criminal myself.


    ¡°Sorry, what?! What did you just say to me?¡±


    She knew exactly what I¡¯d just said to her. I found the strength to meet her eyes.


    ¡°I¡¯m not a kid, Mum. Don¡¯t pretend I am. I know who I am, and I know what I¡¯m doing, and if you want to ept it and listen to me for once and not fucking Trisha then that¡¯s great. I¡¯ll love it, but if you don¡¯t, then you don¡¯t. Your choice.¡±


    Her eyes were still so hurt.


    ¡°My choice about what? You¡¯re going to choose a sicko criminal over me, are you?!¡±


    That was it. The red hot poker in the wound. I got up from my seat, my own tears springing up as my finger jabbed in her direction.


    ¡°POT FUCKING KETTLE! You¡¯ve been choosing a sicko criminal over me for YEARS! You¡¯ve been choosing sicko criminals over me since I really was a little kid!¡±


    It was too much. The hurt overflowed. I didn¡¯t want to be there.


    I walked away, storming over to my bedroom, and I pulled out the big old suitcase from under my bed, tossing my stuff in there, on a fucking mission.


    Mum appeared in the doorway with wide eyes.


    ¡°Where are you going?¡±


    ¡°Where do you think?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re going up there? To him?¡±


    ¡°YES! To Julian. Think he¡¯s a sicko all you like, I don¡¯t care. It¡¯s not as if you ever care what I think in return.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re being crazy! Stop it. You¡¯re out of your fucking head.¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯m not.¡± I sounded so resolute because I was. I was still throwing things in my case, even a stash of shitty costume jewellery from my bedside drawer. ¡°I¡¯m probably in my head for the first time in my life.¡±


    ¡°No. You¡¯re not! Listen to me! I¡¯m your mum!¡±


    Damnit. I didn¡¯t want any more arguing. I didn¡¯t want to have to bluster out exnations, or bullshit excuses that didn¡¯t need to be made. It wouldn¡¯t make any difference. We were done here. The only regret I had was that I wished it had been me who¡¯d broken the news before Trisha started spouting shit, but that was Trisha all over. One look at Mum¡¯s face as she stood in my doorway put that thought to bed, though. She wouldn¡¯t listen to me in a million years. She¡¯d probably call Trisha up the second I was out of there, and they could bitch together over a bottle of wine while Mum cried. Me and Julian could both be the bad guys to their self-righteousness.


    I zipped my case up, full. The rest of my stuff would have to wait for another day. I lugged the bulky suitcase from the bed with my teeth gritted, barging right past her on the way to the front door. But no. Not yet. I had something to give her first.


    I grabbed my keys from my pocket and threw them over tond at her feet. I wouldn¡¯t be needing them anymore.


    Mum knew that I was serious then. I had more strength than I¡¯d ever had in my life. She picked up the keys and stared at them in her hand, horrified.


    ¡°You do know he¡¯s taking advantage of you, right?¡± She tried again. ¡°It¡¯s so obvious. He¡¯s an asshole! A sick asshole! I¡¯m trying to protect you! I¡¯m trying!¡±


    Yeah. As if.


    Maybe in her deluded version of the world and what was going down here, she was trying, but in mine she was talking shit. I couldn¡¯t take it anymore.


    The front door was open. The case was in my hand, and I was almost out of there. Almost. The tears were springing, and my heart was pumping, and the rage was swirling, and I wanted to be upstairs with Julian. I wanted to be out of that ce. But I waited, just a moment. I shot Mum one more nce with tears in my eyes. Time for the final pieces of truth now.


    ¡°Julian wasn¡¯t an asshole when he pulled Scottie off you to save your life. And he wasn¡¯t an asshole when he saved me from the piece of shit, too.¡± My eyes must have been so cold. ¡°Enjoy your time with Trisha. I¡¯ll be upstairs with the man who saved me from the true sicko around here. I hope Scottie burns in hell.¡±


    I stepped forward. I was ready.


    ¡°Wait, what?¡± she asked. ¡°What¡¯s this got to do with Scottie?¡±

 Chapter 119

    The case was in my hand. My feet were ready, but they wouldn¡¯t move.


    ¡°Scottie would have pulled himself together,¡± she said, ¡°We argue. Just like any other couple. It¡¯s me as well as him. Yeah, Julian helped me, which was nice, but Scottie was trying to do better, and he would have done. He¡¯s doing great since he¡¯s been in Scond. He means well. There are two sides to every story, Rosie.¡±


    It was too much. I couldn¡¯t hold back any longer.


    ¡°BULLSHIT!¡± I yelled. ¡°That¡¯s absolute BULLSHIT, Mum! Scottie is a piece of shit who should have fucked off long ago! He¡¯d still be here causing shit and fucking you over if it wasn¡¯t for Julian. And he¡¯d be fucking ME over, too! He¡¯d be fucking ME over, just like you, if it wasn¡¯t for Julian saving me!¡±


    The memory hit me hard again. The memory of him pinning me to the bed and threatening me in the dark, and it was horrible. Vile. Disgusting. Like he was. Scottie was disgusting. He was a cunt, as Julian rightly said.


    My eyes met Mum¡¯s and she saw my pain.


    ¡°It¡¯s not just you Scottie was a cunt to, Mum! Not at the end!¡±


    ¡°Scottie fucking you over? What do you mean?¡± she asked. ¡°Scottie and I had our arguments, sure, but he wouldn¡¯t fuck you over, Rosie. It¡¯s about me and him, not you. He loves you!¡±


    My own tears came then, along with hystericalughter. I should have walked. I wanted to. But my feet still wouldn¡¯t move. I was frozen to the spot. It was me covering my face with my hands this time. Broken.


    ¡°Scottie doesn¡¯t love anyone,¡± I sobbed. ¡°I knocked on Julian¡¯s door more than once, you know, and that was for a reason. It was for a REASON!¡± ¡°What?¡± She paused, keys still in her hand. ¡°I don¡¯t get it. What reason?¡± I tipped my head back, wishing the tears would go away.


    ¡°Talk to me,¡± Mum said. ¡°Rosie, seriously. You¡¯d better start talking to me. What is this about Scottie? What did he do?¡±


    I could have copsed on the floor in front of her, hating how my feelings ran wild inside me, twisting and stabbing. I managed to spit my words out, barely audible through the tears.


    ¡°Scottie threatened me. Your boyfriend came into my bedroom and pinned me down while you were waiting for him in the room next door. He told me he¡¯d fuck me up as well as you if I even dared to stand up to him. He said we¡¯d both pay the price, me AND you! He meant it, Mum! He was going to hurt both of us! He¡¯s the sicko. Not Julian. Scottie is the fucking sicko.¡±


    Her mind was struggling to keep up with me. Her eyes wide.


    ¡°What? Before he went to Scond? But things were good then. He couldn¡¯t¡­ he wouldn¡¯t¡­¡±


    My voice choked as I spoke.


    ¡°He¡¯s not in Scond,¡± I told her. ¡°He ran away, finally kicked in the ass by someone who had the power to stop him! And thank fuck for that! Julian¡¯s not on the run, Mum. Scottie is!¡±


    ¡°But of course he¡¯s in Scond¡­ with his job¡­¡± she began, but then she stopped. Her expression changed as she looked at me. My stare was steady, my truth holding firm.


    ¡°He was going to hurt me,¡± I said again, more quietly this time. ¡°I swear to you, Mum, he was going to hurt me. I ran to Julian because I had nowhere else to go. He saved you twice and saved me, too. You just didn¡¯t know it. I didn¡¯t tell you.¡±


    She was shaking her head in shock.


    ¡°No¡­ it can¡¯t be¡­ no way. Just no way.¡±


    My eyes must have been so honest. I hated myself as I saw how hurt she was.


    ¡°It¡¯s true,¡± I told her. ¡°Scottie threatened me. It was Julian who saved me, and Julian who chased him away.¡±


    The keys fell to the floor as she took her hair in her hands.


    ¡°Why?! Why the fuck wouldn¡¯t you have told me that?! That¡¯s crazy! Fucking crazy!¡±


    I kept as calm as I could, letting my words sink in.


    ¡°It¡¯s crazy, but it¡¯s true. I¡¯m not lying and you know it. I know you know it. You know him.¡±


    ¡°This is crazy insane,¡± Mum said. ¡°If that¡¯s true¡±


    ¡°It is true,¡± I said. ¡°Scottie was going to hurt me. And you.¡±


    I watched her eyes register my words, and yeah, she did know it. It was sinking in.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me? I would have protected you myself! My God, Rosie, if he¡¯d have hurt you, I¡¯d have killed him. I¡¯d have torn him to pieces! I¡¯d have stabbed him, right in the fucking throat!¡±


    I closed my eyes, struggling.


    ¡°Yeah, really? You think so?¡± I couldn¡¯t hold back my hurt. ¡°You know what he told me when he pinned me down? He said you¡¯d have believed him and not me. He said he knew what your choice would be. And I knew it, too. That¡¯s why I had to go to the man upstairs.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s BULLSHIT!¡±


    ¡°IS IT?¡± I met her stare again.


    She looked so shocked.


    ¡°YES! If I¡¯d have thought for ONE SECOND he was going to hurt you, I¡¯d have killed him. I swear to fucking God!¡±


    ¡°You mean that? For real?¡±


    She nodded, frantic. Eyes still wide.


    ¡°Yes! OF COURSE I MEAN THAT! YOU¡¯RE MY FUCKING DAUGHTER!¡±


    I had to wipe my tears away with my cuff.


    ¡°You should be thanking Julian then, not hating him, because he¡¯s the one who would have killed Scottie. He threatened him in the hall downstairs, and told him if he didn¡¯t fuck off, he¡¯d put a knife in his ribs. THAT¡¯S the man you think is taking advantage of me. The one who cares about me enough to risk putting himself in jail for the rest of his life, just to keep me safe! People can whisper all they want about him, about his past and his sicko ways, but they are all full of utter crap. They don¡¯t know him!¡±


    Mum was silent, so I carried on. I let it flow. I let my heart run free.


    ¡°Julian treats me like I¡¯m worth something. He treats me like I light up his world. He treats me like I AM his world. And I¡¯ve never seen that before. I¡¯ve never seen it in this shithole of an estate, and I¡¯ve never seen it in one single shit rtionship in this apartment. I¡¯ve seen people who imed they loved you, but have they fuck. And Scottie was the worst of all!¡± I had to take a breath. ¡°So don¡¯t you dare criticise Julian! DON¡¯T YOU DARE!¡± The passion in my words seemed to stun her. She stared at me, mute.


    ¡°I¡¯m in love with him,¡± I told her. ¡°I don¡¯t care what anyone thinks or says about it. I¡¯m in love with him, and I want to be with him. That¡¯s not going to change. Trisha, or Martha, or Bertie, or anyone in this block, or anyone on this fucking estate, or in the Brewery Tavern can say what they like, I don¡¯t care. Nothing is going to change!¡±


    She slumped against the wall at that, her fire burnt out.


    ¡°My God,¡± she said. ¡°You should have told me. About everything.¡±


    I knew then that she believed me about Scottie. I knew she believed me. She closed her eyes and I waited, letting her brain catch up with the outburst.N?vel(D)rama.Org''s content.


    ¡°And Julian loves you back, does he?¡± she said. ¡°That¡¯s what he ims, is it? That he loves you?¡±


    ¡°He doesn¡¯t im he loves me. He does love me.¡±


    She changed her approach. ¡°He¡¯s got to be at least thirty years older than you.¡±


    I sighed. ¡°So? Who cares?¡±


    ¡°He must care. He should do.¡±


    ¡°He did care, before he listened to me and believed I was aware of my own mind, and my own thoughts, and was able to make my own decisions on what the hell I wanted.¡± I dared to push it. ¡°I¡¯m asking you to do the same, Mum. Listen to me. Thirty years or not. I don¡¯t care.¡±


    ¡°People say he¡¯s filthy, a pervert¡­ they say he cheated on his wife, and fucked loads of young girls, and did disgusting things to them.¡±


    ¡°There are a few tiny bits of truth in a whole load of lies. People can say what they like. I love being with him.¡±


    ¡°People say he fucked his family over and left them behind! That¡¯s not ok!¡±


    ¡°People don¡¯t know him. Maybe you should get to know him yourself before you judge. You can ask him the questions yourself, rather than listening to bullshit.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe this¡­¡± she said, shaking her head. ¡°I just can¡¯t believe it.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯d better start believing it, Mum, because I¡¯m not leaving him. I don¡¯t want to be without him, not for anything. I mean it. I¡¯m going upstairs. Choose to listen, or don¡¯t, but I¡¯ll be going back up there tonight.¡±


    I was a different Rosie than the innocent, scared little girl she¡¯d always known. The contrast in my own strength was enough to make my heart soar, despite the pain, and it was Julian who¡¯d enabled that in me. I could have thanked him for all time, and it still wouldn¡¯t be enough.


    ¡°You¡¯ve been staying with him? Upstairs? This whole time?¡± she asked, and I nodded.


    ¡°Yeah. Constantly.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe I didn¡¯t know. It was so fucking obvious.¡±


    I opted for more honesty. ¡°You¡¯ve been so busy dreaming up ns with Scottie that you didn¡¯t give a shit where I was. If you had, maybe you¡¯d have figured it out.¡±


    ¡°Stop it!¡± she said, but she didn¡¯t deny it. She cursed to herself.


    ¡°Tell me it¡¯s not true,¡± I pushed. ¡°Go on. Tell me you¡¯ve been thinking about me, really keen to know who Jenny is. I haven¡¯t seen it. You haven¡¯t even called.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t suspect a thing!¡±


    My tears sprang up again, even through my strength.


    ¡°Scottie¡¯s had you on puppet strings, just like usual. He¡¯s been dangling you, lost to everything in the world but how fucking great he is.¡±


    I saw the rage on her face at that.


    ¡°Scottie is a cunt. He¡¯s dead to me now.¡±


    I blew out a breath, not knowing whether to believe her or not.


    ¡°He is,¡± she went on. ¡°He¡¯s a cunt who should be strung up for what he did to you.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s a cunt who should be strung up even more for what he did to YOU.¡±


    She didn¡¯t shrug it off with a just a temper or argumentseback. She nodded. She agreed with me. For once in my life, she actually agreed with me.


    We stood in silence. I still had the door open, paused to leave. But I didn¡¯t. I didn¡¯t move my feet.


    ¡°Julian would have really killed him? He meant it?¡± Mum asked, finally, and there was just the faintest hint of approval in her eyes.


    ¡°Yeah, he would have. I¡¯d bet my life on it.¡±


    She was still leaning against the wall, and the silence between us was deafening, but it wasn¡¯t horrible anymore. There was a sad closeness in it. And I dared to hope. I dared.


    I risked it. I asked her.


    ¡°Will you get to know him? Can you ept me being in love with him?¡±


    She was crying again. I saw her battle, and I got it. From the outside it would look horrendous, with all the gossip and bitching about him, and me being a young girl on the arm of someone three decades older than me, but I prayed she would try. I prayed she would at least give it a chance.


    But she couldn¡¯t. She took a breath before she answered me. My heart fell through the floor as I saw the hurt in her eyes.


    ¡°I can¡¯t. I don¡¯t want to speak to him, and I don¡¯t want to see you with him, and nothing is ever going to change that. Not ever. He¡¯s not your boyfriend, Rosie. He¡¯s a guy who likes to y dirty games with vulnerable girls like you.¡± Her tears fell, but her jaw tightened. ¡°Don¡¯t go up there. Stay here with me. We¡¯ll work things out, no Scottie, you don¡¯t need the dirty prick upstairs.¡±


    My jaw tightened too.


    ¡°I don¡¯t need him, I want him because I love him. And if you can¡¯t ept that¡­¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t ept that.¡±


    My heart was swimming in the depths but I took hold of my suitcase again and my feet finally moved for me.


    ¡°You know where to find me if you change your mind,¡± I said and closed the door behind me.

 Chapter 120

    JULIAN


    I¡¯D learnt long ago not to be optimistic about situations, but when Rosie opened the door with her face streaming with tears, lugging a battered suitcase behind her, I knew things had been particrly bad. I took her suitcase and set it down in the living room, then wrapped my arms around her as she cried.


    ¡°Mum wouldn¡¯t listen to me,¡± she said through the hurt. ¡°I told her everything, about Scottie, about you saving me, about how what they spout in the Brewery is nothing but bullshit, but she wouldn¡¯t ept it. She wouldn¡¯t ept me being with you.¡±


    If truth be told, I didn¡¯t me Beverly for that. The pub would have been rife with enough urate gossip to put Beverly off me in its own right, let alonebined with the exaggerations.


    Part of me wanted to set Rosie free and send her back to rebuild her rtionship with Beverly. It must have shown on my face, and Rosie wasing to know me well enough to read me. She pulled away to look up at me and shake her head.


    ¡°Don¡¯t even think about it. I¡¯m not going back down there. I want to be here, with you!¡±


    ¡°Rosie¡± I began, but she shook her head again.


    ¡°No. This is MY decision. MINE.¡±


    ¡°And I respect that absolutely, but sweetheart, listen to me.¡± I put my hands on her shoulders. ¡°I lost my family, and it cost me and them dearly. Please, don¡¯t make the same mistake I did. A mother¡¯s love is a sacred thing. You will feel the separation hard, and so will she.¡±


    Rosie¡¯s eyes were fierce. ¡°Then she can be the one to build bridges. I¡¯ve spent enough of my life respecting her decisions, no matter how shit I thought they were. She can do the same for me for once.¡±


    ¡°And if she doesn¡¯t?¡±


    Rosie shrugged, but tensed with the pain. ¡°Then she doesn¡¯t.¡± I felt terrible for her. I hated my part in their fallout.


    ¡°You really want to choose this, over your life downstairs?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to have to choose, but I¡¯m not leaving you, Julian. You¡¯d have to throw my suitcase outside and kick me out, and even then I might not go back to her.¡±


    I stroked my thumb across her cheek, trying to lighten the mood, even just a little as I smiled.


    ¡°I¡¯d have to throw that case pretty hard. That thing weighs a bloody ton.¡±


    Rosie¡¯s eyes lit up through her tears. ¡°Yeah, so don¡¯t bother then. Let me stay.¡±


    There was no doubt whatsoever I¡¯d be doing that.


    I made her a cup of coffee as she gathered her emotions into some kind of order in the kitchen. Our kitchen, since she now lived here with me. Her eyes were on the ceiling as she spoke.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe this is happening. She could have at least listened to me. Given you a chance.¡±


    ¡°She is only trying to protect you.¡±


    Rosie scoffed at that. ¡°Makes a fucking change.¡±


    Her venom towards her mother was such a sad thing. Through my wife¡¯s therapy business, I¡¯d witnessed so many families torn apart by differences, and so much trauma ensuing as a result. I¡¯d seen mothers struggling with their own past and issues, and how that had impacted their children  generation, after generation, after generation. Beverly didn¡¯t mean harm. She was a woman looking for stability and love, which is what almost everyone seeks from life. Including my own family that I¡¯d ripped apart at the seams.


    ¡°You feel really bad for her, don¡¯t you?¡±


    Rosie read me, yet again. She was a very empathic soul.


    ¡°I feel very bad for both of you, yes.¡± I handed her mug to her. ¡°This is my doing.¡±


    She actually rolled her eyes at that. ¡°Maybe you should stop undervaluing yourself for once, don¡¯t you think? You¡¯re the good guy in this, not the bad one.¡±


    No, I didn¡¯t think so, but her words were touching. The love in her eyes made my heart bloom. I was honoured by the strength of her belief. The little flower with the mug in her hand was so simplistically honest in her truth and faith in me.


    Now wasn¡¯t the time to specte on the realities thaty ahead for Rosie¡¯s estrangement from her mother, and the way the whole world would be against us. Rosie had taken enough emotional punishment tonight already. I changed the topic of conversation.


    ¡°I¡¯ll clear some space in the wardrobe. We can start unpacking your things.¡±


    She shook her head, blocking my way as I made to pass her.


    ¡°Not now. I don¡¯t give a fuck about unpacking my things.¡±


    Her confidence was growing so much. The way she looked at me was a world away from the meek little girl casting her eyes down at the floor outside my door. She ran her dainty fingers down my shirt, and it made my skin tingle, made my cock harden, made my pulse race. Even now, in the face of such conflict, I couldn¡¯t resist her body.


    My mouth was on hers as she murmured, and her fingers turned frantic, just as mine did. Our tangle of limbs were ustomed to each other. I tore her top off and over her head, barely breaking the kiss as she unbuttoned my shirt. She pressed herself to me, her thigh between mine, grinding to a rhythm. She knew how to y my body, just as I knew how to y hers. ¡°Fuck me,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t want to think about anything else.¡±


    That¡¯s what had got us into this unholy mess in the first ce, but I was already tugging her bra down, freeing her sweet little tits. My cock was straining, and my hands were on her tits, ying. It was her who pulled her jeans down along with her panties. I felt how wet she was against my thigh as she kept on moving. ¡°Julian,¡± she said and her voice was beautiful when she whispered. ¡°If they¡¯re going to talk shit about you, then give them justice.¡±


    She was turning into a kinky little bitch in front of me, one innocent petal at a time, and that was a mountain of fuel to a fire already burning bright.


    ¡°You really do want to be a dirty girl, don¡¯t you,¡± I said.


    ¡°I want to be your dirty girl. Show me how dirty you can make me.¡±

 Chapter 121

    That was like a red rag to a bull. I hitched her up and carried her through to the living room, bashing my knee into her suitcase on the way to the dining table, on such a fucking mission. I mmed her t, wanting to possess every fucking part of her. My mouth was frantic as I tasted, licked, sucked, trying to take her all in. She held my head to her pussy, already wet enough that my face was slick within seconds. Her taste was my heaven, my filth was my hell, and it was a blend powerful enough to turn me into a rampant demon.


    I only let her go for a moment as I scooped up the array of toys still scattered on the chesterfield and dropped them down beside her. My hands were straight to the rope. She responded by offering her wrists to me, sped together. I bound them like a madman, tugging the rope up over her head and binding her to one of the legs of the dining table, awkward but fucking stunning. Her back was still t to the wood, arms tense as she pulled against the knot. She was bound tight. Mine to use. Her smile said she wanted it, but the hitch of her breaths said the nerves were still there. I paused to admire the beauty. Poor Rosie must have thought I was having second thoughts.


    ¡°I mean it,¡± she said. ¡°I want to be the dirtiest girl you¡¯ve ever had, and I know you¡¯ve had a lot. I want to be the best.¡±


    Her words made my cock swell as well as my heart. I gazed at her in awe.


    ¡°Don¡¯t keep me waiting,¡± she said, ¡°make me a dirty slut, Julian.¡±


    Oh, how I loved the girl.


    I spat on her tits like she was a true dirty slut, smearing her skin until she was dripping, nipples hard. I spat some more and ran my fingers up her neck, coated wet.


    ¡°Open your mouth,¡± I said, and she did it. She opened her mouth wide and sucked my fingers in all the way. She sucked me like a needy baby, and my cock was aching for her cunt, but I didn¡¯t give it to her. I wanted to defile her enough to drive me insane.


    She was smiling as I took the ck marker pen at her side. I started with her thighs, my hands running wild as I wrote cheap on one side and slut on the other.


    ¡°Hitch your legs up,¡± I said, and she did as she was told, disying the words proudly. Her slick cunt was on offer, but I wanted to give her the thick purple dildo before I gave her my cock. She moaned as I eased it in all the way, straining at her bonds, but she was a good girl. She didn¡¯tin, didn¡¯t squirm, didn¡¯t lower her legs.


    ¡°Want to see what you look like? Such a pretty piece of meat on offer?¡± I asked her, and she nodded.


    It was second nature to call up the camera app on my phone. I loved the way she looked onscreen, sses so awkwardly cute as she tried to stare down at me. My view was all on her slit, though, framed by the words cheap slut. The dildo was straining, stretching her cunt beautifully. She was such a tight little bitch.


    I set the video app to record. She whimpered like an innocent as she saw it in my hands.


    I leant in close and pushed her sses up her nose. ¡°Tell me you want it. Say you want to be a cheap slut,¡± I said, making sure her face was visible onscreen.


    My true deviant nature was taking hold. I was lost to it. And it was incredible.


    She was incredible.


    ¡°I really, really want it,¡± she said. ¡°I want to be your cheap slut.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not convinced,¡± I said. ¡°Say it like you mean it. Say it like you crave it.¡±


    I kept her face in shot. She looked hurt at first. Then her confidence kicked back in. She ran her tongue over her lips. I could see she was thinking of the words to use.


    ¡°Tell me,¡± I said.


    ¡°Alright,¡± she said, ¡°I¡¯ll tell you how I crave it. I¡¯m your slut,¡± she paused, so calm and serene. ¡°I might not be a very good slut right now, but I know I will be the best slut for you. All I need is for you to teach me. I crave that. And I crave the look of love in your eyes when you y with me. I crave the amazing orgasms. I crave you, Julian. I¡¯m your slut, so make me the best. Please.¡±


    I took a step back, stared at the girl with an ache in my heart.


    I stopped the video and took my time, savouring the moment as she watched me shrug my shirt off, smiling as I pushed my trousers and boxers down. I fisted my cock, saw the craving in her. Felt it in me. Could have fucked her right there and then. But no.


    I made quick work of fetching a mug from the kitchen, dragging the TV closer, and settling my phone in the mug on top of it, angled just right to catch everything as I set the video to record again.


    I stood to the side of her, opened her legs wide, and she moaned a delicious moan as I eased the dildo all the way out. Her breath was almost a hiss. It sent shivers to my balls. And her cunt was bliss, gaping just a little as it retracted.


    ¡°Fuck, that feels nice,¡± she said.


    I stroked her hair. ¡°Good girl,¡± I said and pushed the dildo back in, slowly, all the way.


    ¡°God,¡± she said. ¡°Oh God. Oh God.¡±


    I admired the stretch of her. Her cunt straining at the intrusion.


    ¡°How does it feel?¡± I asked.


    ¡°It stings,¡± she said, ¡°Hurts.¡±


    ¡°Then let¡¯s turn that pain into pleasure. That¡¯s what good sluts do, Rosie. Turn pain into pleasure.¡±


    I fucked her with the dildo. Slowly at first until her slickness allowed for rhythm.


    ¡°That¡¯s it,¡± I said and picked up the pace.


    She cried out and I kept going until those cries became whimpers and she was actually bucking against the toy.


    I stopped fucking her and pushed the dildo deep.


    The way she was panting, tits rising and falling, brow sweaty, cheeks ame, cunt stretched wide and dripping, made me feel weirdly proud.


    ¡°You¡¯re doing well, slut,¡± I said. ¡°Think you can take more?¡±


    ¡°I want more,¡± she said, ¡°give it to me.¡±


    The dildo was still buried deep and stretching her beautiful cunt wide when I used my fingers on her ass. Two fingers¡­ three¡­ and she was crying out.


    ¡°Tell me to stop,¡± I said, but she shook her head.


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°My cock is fucking savage,¡± I told her. ¡°Tell me to stop before I tear you apart with it.¡±


    ¡°NO!¡± she said, and her eyes were alive with defiance. ¡°Do it! Do whatever you want. Treat me like all the other cheap little bitches who¡¯ve wanted you!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re nothing like the others,¡± I reminded her.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.


    ¡°I know,¡± she said, ¡°So give me what I want. I want it even more than you do.¡±


    She had me. It was me who was snared as much as she was, swimming in my own seedy urges as she submitted so perfectly. I pulled my fingers free of her ass, tugged her butt to the edge of the table and lined my dick up. Double pration was going to be rough, so I hoped she was a brave little angel. This was going to be the roughest she¡¯d ever taken.


    Her ass was dry and tight. Her pussy was stretched wide around the stic cock as I touched my cock end to her asshole.


    But I hesitated.


    ¡°Do it!¡± she said.


    ¡°It¡¯s going to hurt.¡±


    ¡°Hurt me, then,¡± she said, ¡°only the best little sluts can take it.¡± She pushed her ass against my cock.


    ¡°This is what happens to dirty bitches who tease,¡± I told her. ¡°I make them filthy.¡±


    ¡°Good,¡± she said. ¡°Make me as filthy as you can. I don¡¯t want to be a little cutie anymore.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll always be a little cutie.¡± My voice sounded so dark, so low. ¡°You¡¯ll just be a cheap filthy slut alongside her.¡±


    I don¡¯t know how the fuck she found the strength to push against me as I eased my cock into her ass. She turned her head to the side as she struggled to take it, closing her eyes like an angel being destroyed. I kept on going, straining as her ass yielded and my cock went all the way in. She cried out, a wonderful mix of pain and pleasure. With my cock held deep and her ass strangling the fuck out of it, I wrote cheap on her cheek in marker pen, and she gave me the side eye, full of mischief, even through the pain.


    ¡°Fuck me, then,¡± she said.


    I held on to my angel¡¯s waist and I eased my cock halfway out, so tight against the dildo stretching her cunt.


    She winced.


    I hesitated.


    ¡°Fuck me,¡± she said again.


    So, I did.


    I mped hold of her tits and squeezed hard as I fucked her ass with a rhythm that soon had me grunting and Rosie bucking.


    Her glorious asshole milked me in no time. I shot my load in Rosie¡¯s sweet ass with that dildo buried deep in her cunt and she cried out so beautifully it was magic brought to life.


    ¡°Fuck, fuck, fuck,¡± she said when I pulled out, then hissed like a bitch when I eased the dildo from her.


    She was panting, hurting, but looked so proud as I stared at her gaping holes.


    And I was so very proud when she gave a little push and my cum dribbled from her asshole.


    ¡°Jesus, Rosie,¡± I said, ¡°that was¡­¡±


    ¡°Amazing?¡±


    I nodded. ¡°More than amazing. How do you think the people in the pub would feel about me if they saw you right now? Do you really think their usations are so unfair? Do you really think your mother should be weing me with open arms while I treat you like a cheap slut?¡±


    Her words were so honest as she smiled a filthy smile.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care. All I care about is you.¡±

 Chapter 122

    ROSIE


    IT was so much easier to be holed up in apartment six than face the world outside. I didn¡¯t want to leave Julian, and I didn¡¯t want to leave our fantasy life. Talking,ughing, eating together. Showering, watching TV shows. And learning to be the best slut I could possibly be. I loved it. I loved it all. I was reading all his old manuscripts as he was reading some of the charity shop paperbacks on his shelf, and we were sleeping while holding each other tight, right through the night. And we were fucking, of course. There was lots and lots of fucking.


    We barely even bothered to get dressed. My body was almost constantly covered in marker pen, craving his. I loved it. I felt branded by the man of my dreams, his eyes filled with filthy adoration every time he looked at me. Touches said more than anything. Our bodies screamed out for each other every second, day and night.


    It was him who brought up the obvious questionte on Sunday evening.


    ¡°Are you going to go back to college tomorrow?¡±


    I had no choice, really. My exams would be looming soon enough, and I didn¡¯t want to bail on my studies. I didn¡¯t want to be a leech on Julian¡¯s cash for ever, and my calling in sick wasn¡¯t going to hold up much longer. ¡°Yeah,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ll go back to college tomorrow.¡±


    He looked so concerned for me. ¡°Do you want me to apany you to the gates?¡±


    Iughed at that, squeezing his hand on the sofa.


    ¡°It¡¯s ok, thanks, Daddy. I don¡¯t need a chaperone.¡±


    Heughed at my reply but didn¡¯t seem all that convinced.


    ¡°I hate stating the obvious, but it could get nasty. The whole ce will be a sea of shitty whispers, I¡¯m sure.¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t give a shit about the whole ce. They can all fuck off.¡±


    He squeezed my hand back, giving me a smile. ¡°It¡¯s lovely as always to see your confidence blooming. I just hope you¡¯re not battered by people¡¯s opinions. I¡¯m certain they¡¯ll ram them in your face at the first opportunity.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t confidence that was blooming in me, though. It was me. I was feeling myself blooming, bing my true personality for once in my life, rather than shrinking into the background.


    Just a shame Mum wasn¡¯t around to see it. Maybe if she could, she¡¯d be thanking Julian, not hating him.


    Part of me had hoped she¡¯de knocking at the door, even just a little bit calmer and wanting to talk, but no. Nothing. Radio silence. It always hurt when I checked my phone and saw she was online. I¡¯d called up the message window plenty of times, but no. I wasn¡¯t going to be the one to do it. I wasn¡¯t going to beg or back down.


    On Sunday evening, we¡¯din in bed and Julian set up hisptop and we watched the very first video he¡¯d taken of me.


    It just felt so right, spooned into my naked hero, his arms around me as I saw myself being stretched wide. But most of all it was Julian I couldn¡¯t take my eyes off. The look in his eyes as he made me his slut. It wasn¡¯t the look of a filthy pervert. It was the look of adoration. I felt it from him, too.


    It was bliss, feeling so loved, so safe.


    Julian fucked me tenderly that night. Fucked me and kissed me with beautiful passion. And then he held me tight all night long, which was just perfect, but I¡¯d be lying if I said my stomach wasn¡¯t churning as reality kicked in. Through the bravado it was still there. I knew I¡¯d be facing the world tomorrow. The morning only made it harder.


    I took a shower to make sure every visible scrap of marker pen and filth was gone before I got dressed for college. I used a bit of lip gloss and put my hair up in a high ponytail, trying to look as bouncy and happy as possible. I packed my bag for the day with my books and pens, and it felt like years since I¡¯d been there as I slung it over my shoulder.


    ¡°Good luck,¡± Julian said, as if he was packing me off to war. Maybe he was. So be it.


    I could do this. I had to.


    I felt sick as I left our apartment block and began my journey to college. I was just grateful I hadn¡¯t seen Mum or Trisha. It would have made my smile so much harder. I almost made it to the college gates before I spotted Jayden. My heart dropped as I saw the rage on his face. He charged over and red at me like I was trash.


    ¡°You¡¯re fucking him, then? The perv upstairs? That¡¯s why he really fucked Dad over, isn¡¯t it? He was ying you. The sick fucker was fucking ying you.¡±


    My own rage red up in return.


    ¡°Fuck off, Jay! He fucked your dad over because your dad is a cunt who¡¯s been abusing my mum for years, and was about to hurt me, too.¡±


    Jayden stuck his face in mine.


    ¡°Yeah, well thanks to you, the whole estate thinks they know what Dad¡¯s like now. Bev¡¯s been spouting about it every chance she gets, telling the world he¡¯s an abuser.¡±


    That took me aback.


    ¡°What? Mum¡¯s been telling people?¡±


    I saw hurt underneath his rage. Despite trying, he couldn¡¯t hide it. He had been as fucked over by his dad as much as the rest of us, he just didn¡¯t want to see it. Loyalty is such a blessing and a curse.


    ¡°Her and Trisha have been saying Scottie assaulted you. They¡¯ve been telling everyone. Trisha¡¯s like a fucking trumpet everywhere she goes.¡±


    ¡°Trisha¡¯s always like a trumpet everywhere she goes.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s got plenty to trumpet about now. Everyone might as well get popcorn to listen. Dad assaulting you, the sicko upstairs assaulting you, too. She¡¯s screaming it to the whole fucking world.¡±


    ¡°Hey!¡± I said at that. ¡°That¡¯s crap, Jay. Julian isn¡¯t assaulting me. He isn¡¯t a sicko, and I¡¯m with him because I want to be. He¡¯s great to me, always has been, right from the very first second I knocked at his door.¡±


    Jay¡¯s eyes went wide. ¡°YOU, knocked on HIS door? Fucking hell, I guessed you must be desperate for it but that makes you fucked in the head as well.¡±


    ¡°Hardly. I knocked on his door, because I needed help getting YOUR dad off MY mum before he choked her to death.¡±


    ¡°Sure, yeah. Whatever you say. He¡¯s a fucking pervert. He¡¯s using you.¡±


    I hated the thought of all the people gossiping about how I was just a stupid girl being taken advantage of. People preaching on about how I was a kid who didn¡¯t know better.


    ¡°I¡¯m saying what¡¯s true,¡± I said. ¡°Julian isn¡¯t using me. He loves me, and I love him.¡±


    Jayughed at that. He actuallyughed.


    ¡°Think what you want, Rosie. Your sses have gone rose-coloured. The creep¡¯s full of shit and you¡¯re buying into it. Shame he had to fuck his own family over, let alone you on top. He¡¯s told everyone he¡¯s a dirty old cunt who likes fucking teenagers himself, you know. At least he was fucking honest about it. Sick twat.¡±


    He barged past me and stormed off into college. He was right about that, of course. Julian had been honest about it. Noble, but such a shame that he¡¯d condemned himself to a load of idiots.


    I was reeling a bit, standing outside the gates as my lessons were about to start. It was time to get myself together. I needed to face my sses.


    Everyone was staring. Everyone. News must have spread like wildfire, as the wholemunity seemed to be whispering and casting snidey nces, and I felt every single one of them. My friends did nothing but dig, but it was angled, as though I was even more of an outsider than usual, and they were only out for their own amusement. I knew they¡¯d be bitching the moment I walked away. So, I did walk away. I walked to the library and sat there on my own. At one point I wished I had Trisha¡¯s trumpet voice myself. I wished I could stand up in front of the whole college and tell them they were all talking shit about me and Julian, but what would be the point? They¡¯d never believe me.


    I was reading a thriller paperback in the kind of genre Julian wrote when someone put down a satchel on the table beside me. It was a battered dark brown leather, and had glitter and stickers all over it, strange. I was still looking at it when its owner took a seat beside me. I¡¯d seen her around vaguely. She had sses like me, but thicker framed, and she had long, red hair in a braid. She was from the art college block, I was sure.


    ¡°Hey,¡± she said.


    ¡°Hi,¡± I said back, suspicious, since I knew there was something more to it. There were plenty of empty tables.


    ¡°I heard about you and the guy,¡± she told me, and I wanted to roll my eyes and say you and the rest of the universe, who gives a shit, but her tone wasn¡¯t like any of the others. Hers was nice.


    ¡°I get shit all the time, too,¡± she told me. ¡°My boyfriend is nearly forty, and that¡¯s bad enough. Your gossip must be like a tornado.¡±


    ¡°Something like that,¡± I said.


    ¡°Just thought I¡¯d say, that if you need anyone to talk to, or hang out with or whatever, you can talk to me. I get it. Well, kind of.¡±


    She smiled and got up to leave, but I held out my hand for her to stay.


    ¡°Wait, just¡­¡± I smiled back at her. ¡°That¡¯s really cool. Thanks. I¡¯d love that.¡±


    ¡°Sure,¡± she said, and plopped her bag down as she took her seat. ¡°I¡¯m L, great to meet you.¡±


    ¡°You, too.¡±


    ¡°What are you reading?¡± she asked, and I showed her the cover.


    ¡°Midnight on the Run.¡±


    ¡°Nice.¡±


    ¡°Are you a reader?¡±


    She shook her head, and got aptop out of her satchel. ¡°Not really. I¡¯m more of an artist.¡±


    That figured.


    ¡°What kind of artist?¡±


    ¡°Digital,¡± she said. ¡°I love it. I¡¯ve been drawing since I was a kid, just got it onscreen now rather than using colouring pencils.¡±


    I turned the conversation back to the obvious.


    ¡°You live with your partner now? And he¡¯s forty, right?¡±


    She nodded with a grin. ¡°Yeah. My mum thinks I¡¯m a twat. Won¡¯t speak to him. It¡¯ll be a year next month.¡±


    Iughed. ¡°Yeah, mine thinks I¡¯m a twat, too.¡±


    I prayed it wouldn¡¯t be a year until Mum spoke to me and Julian, but I wasn¡¯t feeling all that optimistic.


    L didn¡¯t push or pry or anything, just sat next to me, unassuming as she switched on herptop. The backdrop on her screen was incredible. Vivid colours and flowers intertwined with her name in the middle in italics. I looked at her afresh, and she was quite a character. She had three different piercings in her ears, and her braid had a yellow ribbon at the bottom. She was cool, in a purple sweater, and her sses suited her, with their thick ck frames.


    ¡°I¡¯m really pleased to meet you,¡± I said to her again. ¡°Honestly, thanks foring over.¡±


    It felt great to talk to someone outside of me and Julian who actually got it. She told me all about her situation. Her guy, Peter, sounded pretty cool. He was a neighbour who she¡¯d known since she was a teenager and had been crushing on for years before she managed to get in through his front door. He¡¯d fought it, like Julian. He loved her now, like Julian loved me. And they¡¯d embraced it  despite all the bitching, and the gossiping, and the judgements, they were holding hands together wherever they went.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.

 Chapter 123

    Peter was still struggling, though, even through the hand holding. He still felt the wrath of people when they ventured out, hating how they were judging her as well as him.


    ¡°He still feels it?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Yeah, badly. It¡¯s ok, but I¡¯m hoping it eases up.¡± She grinned. ¡°I¡¯d love to be hitting the town for meals out, I¡¯d be happy and wouldn¡¯t give a shit. But he¡¯s weird about it. I think he still believes he¡¯s in the wrong.¡±


    That sounded familiar. Being in the wrong.


    I wanted me and Julian out of that kind of situation. I wanted to be holding hands in public with him, and out in the city, out with him everywhere.


    One day, I hoped that we would be. One day soon.This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    We were still chatting when lunch came to an end, realising with a jolt that we had to shoot off for our next lessons. L had further to go than I did, over to the art block. She virtually dashed out of there with a byeee, her satchel bouncing against her ass as she ran.


    Meeting her was amazing, but it made the contrast with the other assholes out to jeer at me much more pronounced.


    I managed to stumble my way through my next lessons in some kind of order, leaving college as quickly as I could, but the guys from block seven were outside the 24-hour garage, smoking and drinking on the bench. I crossed the street, but it didn¡¯t make any difference. They let out a wolf whistle and yelled over as passers-by looked on.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t think you were such a cheap little hooker,¡± Marlow yelled. ¡°Come over here. We¡¯ll give you a better fuck than that old man.¡±


    ¡°Come on!¡± Dane shouted as I carried on walking. ¡°We¡¯ll make you way more of a slut than he will.¡±


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t want to be seen out with Grandpa, would you?¡± Marlowughed. ¡°Best keep him hidden in the seedy den, eh?¡±


    I¡¯d never stood up to the idiots before, not once, but my levels of rage had taken enough. My legs were trembling but they carried me, fuelled. I crossed the street and walked up to them.


    ¡°I¡¯m not embarrassed about being with Julian. You¡¯re the fucking embarrassments. Like anyone will ever give a shit about you. You¡¯re nothing but losers.¡±


    They weren¡¯t expecting it from me. Hardly anyone ever stood up to them, and I felt a weird sense of strength as I saw their difort, which said it all. The fear and rumours around them were likely just as bullshit as everything else around here. Maybe they were just little pricks with an inferiorityplex and nowhere else to go. Sad.


    They scoffed some more, shouting obscenities as I left them behind, but I didn¡¯t care. None of it mattered. All that mattered was my newfound backbone and the man I loved waiting upstairs for me.


    He was straight over to the door as soon as I stepped inside, green eyes searching mine for my reaction.


    ¡°Are you ok, sweetheart? Did it go ok?¡±


    I nodded, with a surprising smile. ¡°Yeah, it did.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m putting dinner on,¡± he told me. ¡°We have fillet steak.¡±


    I took hold of his arm before he turned away, fuelled even more by the urge to rebel against the world outside.


    ¡°That¡¯s great, thank you,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m spoiled. But how about we go out first? Even just for a walk?¡±


    His eyebrows pitted. ¡°You want to go out?¡±


    ¡°I want to go out with you. I want to show the world they can fuck off, because I don¡¯t care what they think. They can jeer and spit and ring bells calling us sinners for all I care, and you know what? I¡¯ll be smiling.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not so sure about that¡± he began, but I was. I was deadly sure. I was remembering the strength in L. She was proud, determined to stand with Peter through his shame.


    ¡°Will youe out with me, hand in hand?¡± I asked him. ¡°Yes or no?¡±


    He didn¡¯t even pause.


    ¡°Well yes, of course I will, if that¡¯s what you want.¡±


    ¡°Do you want to? Do you want toe out with me?¡±


    His smile was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. He tipped my face up to his and pressed his lips to mine with pure adoration. I could feel it.


    ¡°I¡¯d love nothing more than to be at your side. Just so long as you¡¯re ready.¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t be ashamed to be seen with me?¡±


    Heughed. ¡°There is nothing shameful about you, sweetheart. The wrongdoing is all on me.¡±


    ¡°And I don¡¯t give a single fuck about that. All I care about is being with you, everyone else can get stuffed.¡±


    ¡°And what about your mum? How will you feel about her seeing us together? That could be painful for her, you know?¡±


    I could only imagine how shit Julian had found it to have his whole family cast him aside. The idea of seeing the hurt and disappointment in Mum was enough to make my heart ache, but not enough to back down. The world would have to ept me being with Julian, including Mum and big-mouth Trish, since I wasn¡¯t ever going to let him go.


    ¡°I¡¯ll cope,¡± I told him with a smile.


    ¡°You¡¯re sure?¡±


    ¡°Very sure.¡±


    I was so relieved when he took his coat down from the hook.


    ¡°Let¡¯s do it, then. Let¡¯s face the wall of hate head on.¡±


    His hand was so strong in mine as we set off. Despite the nerves, and the fears, and the shadow of knowing that at some point Mum would see us, I was smiling.


    I didn¡¯t feel sick, I felt strong and proud. I wanted the world to know I was on Julian¡¯s arm for real, as a partner, not just a casual fuck. There was something else in me, too. A slight hope of something else under the surface. The hope that he too would find some pride in being beside me. Of showing the world that he wasn¡¯t just a guy who used girls in private for filthy games, because that wasn¡¯t who he was, no matter what he might think of himself. He may have been thrown out by his family because they couldn¡¯t live with his sex life, but this was different to that. I was different. Or I hoped so.


    Cliched but true.


    If only the rest of Worcester would see it that way¡­


    I got a lurch of oh fuck as the garage came into view, with the idiots still sitting outside. I was ready to give them another round of retaliation and tell them to fuck off again, but I didn¡¯t need to. Julian was already prepared. He gripped my hand tighter as he saw them looking in our direction, and his shoulders were tall and proud. He was giving them one hell of a stare through every step, and I saw the cold, hard strength in his eyes. It gave me a crazy whirl of flutters in my stomach as I stared up at him and not at them, and I got a taste of how he must have looked at Scottie when he ordered him to leave.


    I wanted to turn around on the spot and head straight back to the apartment again, desperate for another round of his strength in the bedroom. He was absolutely fucking gorgeous, with the hint of steel that I¡¯d seen in the old photos of him online. Next to his wife.


    But now he was next to me¡­


    I felt so free as we passed the guys on the bench with no stupid bullshit from them that I got a rush of confidence of my own. I turned my head back to them when we had walked on by and gave them a smirk of fuck you.


    Julian must have read me, though. We were around the corner when he leant down close and whispered in my ear.


    ¡°Don¡¯t judge it too early. I don¡¯t want to piss on our lovely parade, but they are just a bunch of loud-mouthed idiots who have no backbone when ites to it. There will be plenty of more dramatic challenges ahead, I¡¯m sure.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t joking on that score, because typically, as they usually do, a synchronicity rose up to give me the middle finger for being so se. Trisha was walking towards us on the same side of the street with Ramsay in his pushchair, and there was Martha beside her. I saw them before they saw us, and every scrap of my confidence seemed to fizzle up in a sh.


    They practically stopped in their tracks as their eyes locked on ours, and Trisha¡¯s mouth dropped open. I stopped too, but Julian kept on walking, coaxing me along with a gentle tug. He wasn¡¯t afraid.


    It felt like a game of chicken, both pairs of us getting closer. Trisha¡¯s face was like thunder and Martha looked like she hated the sight of us, and it gave me trembles at the thought that one day this would be my mum facing up to us, not them.


    Julian squeezed my hand again for support, holding tight, and I made sure my feet kept moving alongside him. Who was going to make way for each other? Us or them? Closer¡­ closer¡­


    Trisha¡¯s face was beetroot red, her eyes were full of hate, all for him. Martha looked at him like he was some kind of criminal to be wary of, and that was kind of worse, seeing her afraid of him for no reason at all.


    Still, we moved closer.


    Still, we all stayed on the same side.


    And there was nothing for it, we¡¯d reach each other, face on, up close, and I wasn¡¯t sure I could face it. I wasn¡¯t sure I could do it. I wasn¡¯t sure I could be so brave and face them off this quickly¡­ maybe I¡¯d been stupid. Maybe I¡¯d been totally naive. Maybe taking inspiration from L was way too much, way too soon.


    As it turns out, I didn¡¯t have to. We won the game of chicken.


    Trisha angled the pushchair across the road, getting ready to cross the street with Martha at her side. Wow. They¡¯d be the ones to clear out of our way, not the other way around. But Julian¡¯s strides were too fast and too strong. There was too much traffic for Trisha to cross the road in time.


    It was him who spoke, not them. My saviour was the one to close the gap inmunication, tipping his head at them with a gentlemanly smile.


    ¡°Good afternoon,dies,¡± he said, and I gave a hi like a stupid little kid at the side of him.


    That was too much for Trisha. We¡¯d passed her by when I heard her trumpet voice shout out, but it was loud enough for the whole damn estate to hear.


    ¡°Fuck off! Rosie¡¯s just a sweet little kid, you filthy cunt! You should be locked up and shot dead for this!¡±


    Julian didn¡¯t stop walking, and he didn¡¯t look back. He kept my hand gripped tight, and his head held high, as though her words meant nothing.


    Just a shame I knew it was an illusion. I saw just the slightest hint of pain in his eyes, and I knew the truth.


    Under the surface, he believed every single word they said.

 Chapter 124

    JULIAN


    I was used to keeping up a public facade when my shame bells were tolling inside me. I¡¯d spent many, many Sunday afternoons cing down dinner tes in front of Grace¡¯s friends alongside hers, and making conversation with them as though it was normal. How are you this week? How was college? The questions meant nothing. The look in their eyes said it all. They were thinking of how I¡¯d been roping them, bound and used like sluts, posing for me like they were porn stars, but nobody else knew it.


    Crenham Drive was no different. They had no sense of the shame bells under my public facade, either. My confidence was robust as I walked along with Rosie¡¯s hand in mine, riding on the innocent rush of nervous pride she was feeling alongside me. The beautiful girl was still enamoured enough she wanted the world to know about me and her together. Giving her that pleasure would be an honour. My guts were strong enough to take the etheric punches.


    Trisha and Martha looked like they wanted to skin me alive. I could only imagine Beverly¡¯s hate would dwarf theirs thousandfold. I could virtually hear the whispers in our wake as we walked. Raised eyebrows and snide nces. It was a relief to know I didn¡¯t actually care all that much about any of them. They could all burn in hell along with me for their condemnation of Rosie.


    We were out of Crenham Drive before I knew it. Rosie¡¯s hand tightened as she looked up at me.


    ¡°Where do you want to go now?¡±


    I nced behind us. ¡°We could do another parade of the block for extra measure, or keep on walking. Which would you prefer? Fillet steak at home, or in town?¡±


    We stopped at a pedestrian crossing, and I awaited her decision. She stepped out when the light turned green, and we were set. Town it was.


    ¡°I¡¯m really not dressed for this,¡± she said. ¡°I should have done my hair and stuff.¡±


    No, she shouldn¡¯t. I loved the bobbing cuteness of her hair in a pony, and the simplicity of her college outfit and sneakers. She shed me a grin when we were on the other side.


    ¡°Can we get something like a burger this once, please? I can get dressed up another time for fillet steak, so I look more suited to it.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to worry about that,¡± I said, but my words would be redundant. She wouldn¡¯t believe me. ¡°If you want a burger, we¡¯ll have a burger. That wasn¡¯t quite where I¡¯d have expected to take you on our first ever date, so we¡¯ll have topensate for it on the next one.¡±N?vel(D)rama.Org''s content.


    ¡°The next one? You¡¯re ok with this, then? Taking me out?¡±


    ¡°Being public?¡± I happily ignored my shame bells for once in my life. ¡°Yes. Absolutely.¡±


    It felt as though she was dancing on the spot as we stepped into the park. Families were around, kids on swings, mums chatting andughing. We got nces, and some elbow nudges between friends, but it was nothing as evil as I¡¯d have expected. This wasn¡¯t Oxford, after all. People had no illusions of me being a respectable head of the household, professionally lecturing college pupils in a high-end career. Here I was just a freak in an apartment block. Worth nothing but rumours.


    Except for Rosie.


    If I was worthy of Rosie, I must be blessed.


    She knew the burger bar she wanted. I didn¡¯t protest as she pointed it out once we reached the city, and it was a chain store slum of an eatery.


    ¡°They do great milkshakes. Strawberry, chocte, vani.¡±


    Her tone tickled me.


    ¡°Do I look like a vani man to you?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± She had a rush of childish humour. ¡°But maybe you do to a load of other people.¡±


    ¡°I look stoic, you mean?¡±


    ¡°Suited, booted, posh.¡±


    ¡°Often the least vani of all.¡±


    She grinned. ¡°True. That¡¯s what a load of books sing loudest about, isn¡¯t it? Dirty, hot posh guys. They make addictive reads for a reason.¡±


    I found I wasughing, easily. ¡°Maybe I should be in one of them? Julian Lockley, the dirty, filthy posh guy. Can you imagine the movie version? I wonder who they¡¯d cast for it.¡±


    The doors were automatic. I felt her eyes on me as we stepped up to one of the self-service order machines.


    ¡°You could write a story like that, you know,¡± she said. ¡°Seriously.¡±


    I scoffed in good humour. ¡°An autobiography of my seedy kinks? I can¡¯t see it topping the bestseller lists. I hardly topped the thriller charts. They didn¡¯t even see the light of day.¡±


    I was waiting for her to select a burger choice onscreen, but she didn¡¯t. Her eyes were still on me.


    ¡°You really could do it, you know,¡± she said. ¡°I mean, your writing is amazing, and you know what you¡¯re talking about, and you¡¯re a knight in shining armour, and all of the things that could make a great story.¡±


    ¡°Rosie,¡± Iughed. ¡°I¡¯m not an author. It was a distant dream.¡±


    ¡°No, but you wanted to be. You could be.¡±


    ¡°Hardly.¡± I gestured to the screen again. ¡°Come on, rmend me the most incredible burger on the menu. Make your choice and I¡¯ll have the same.¡±


    I could sense her brain whirring on more than food as she clicked through the options and added two to the virtual order, with fries, and sides, and tworge vani milkshakes, most likely to take the piss. I swiped my card in an instant, not even giving her the chance to fumble in her bag.


    She was quiet as we took our seats at a booth with the table number card showing boldly between us. I looked at her freshly in these surroundings, with youngsters bustling and people grabbing takeouts after work.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you do it?¡± she kept pushing. ¡°You could at least try, right? And I love those books. I could read it.¡±


    ¡°You could be my advisor.¡± Iughed, but she didn¡¯t.


    ¡°Yeah, why not? I¡¯ve read enough of them.¡±


    I looked across the table at her as though we were in some kind of surreal dimension. Not only was I out in public with a girl who should be avoiding me at all costs, showing her off on my arm to anyone who¡¯d be watching, but she was now suggesting I turned my seediness into print form.


    But my heart wasn¡¯t scoffing along with my brain.


    I hadn¡¯t felt creative urges in years. The manuscripts she¡¯d had me dig out of my oldptop files had consumed me totally and utterly in the flow of words when I¡¯d been writing them, but that was before my cock took hold of my mind. But what if the two energies could share it¡­


    No. It was absurd. Absurd.


    ¡°Why won¡¯t you do it?¡± she asked, reading me. ¡°You could write it for fun, even if nobody ever sees it. I¡¯d like to see it.¡± ¡°You¡¯d like to read my filth as well as experience it?¡±


    She nodded, her face like a dirty little angel.


    ¡°Maybe you could do me a scene a day? A reward for my college attendance.¡±


    ¡°Like a gold star? Good day at college, sweetheart, well done you. Here. Have an obscene chapter I wrote about you.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. That would be amazing.¡±


    She was serious. She was genuinely serious.


    ¡°I love reading your stuff,¡± she said. ¡°And I love romance. I love it all. What a hybrid.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll quite willingly write filth for you, if you¡¯d like that,¡± I told her, my heat taking hold. ¡°I¡¯ll write about all the seedy disgusting games I¡¯d like to y with you, handing them over as an instruction manual when you walk in through the door. How about that? Here¡¯s the chapter for the day, sweetheart. Spread your legs so I can stretch your tight little cunt wide and take photos of you gagged like a whore, here¡¯s the screen y.¡±


    My voice was low, or so I thought, but typically that was at the point the server arrived with our burgers on a tray, approaching from behind me. He nearly toppled the milkshakes onto the table, and Rosie was in hysterics, giggling her sweet little head off as he stumbled out some apologies and rushed away.


    ¡°Shit,¡± I said, but she was waving her hands, still finding it hrious.


    Herugh was so beautiful it was intoxicating. It gave me more escapism than a whisky bottle. For once, I let pure humour embrace me, grateful that such a girl was lightening up the self-hate in my soul.


    ¡°Go on, then,¡± I said, as she sucked on her milkshake straw. ¡°I¡¯ll write you a scene to test it out, how about that?¡±


    She nodded, still sucking. She swallowed with a smile.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Another thank you I didn¡¯t need credit for.

 Chapter 125

    The burger was crap, but I didn¡¯t tell her that. I munched on fries, watching her munch on hers, and it urred to me then that we could be anywhere. In the apartment, in a burger bar, in a park with sneers, or on a tropical beach. The location didn¡¯t matter. My infatuation  love  for her would be enough to enjoy a walk across hot coals.


    ¡°I met a girl today at college,¡± she told me. ¡°L. She came up to me in the library, and told me she¡¯s been getting the same gossip and crap as me for over a year. She¡¯s with a guy now who¡¯s forty, and they live together. He was her neighbour from when they were young, everyone thought it was gross, like he¡¯d been preying on her, when actually it was her after him. Just like it was with us.¡±


    I still didn¡¯t see it that way, but she had a point. There was no doubt that Rosie wanted me at least as equally as I wanted her. She¡¯d been the one to charge into the apartment and suck on my thumb like a horny minx.


    ¡°Do they live in Crenham, too?¡±


    ¡°No. Dine¡¯s Green.¡±Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    It was another cruddy estate with a close-knitmunity, as far as I¡¯d heard. I could imagine the parallels.


    ¡°Did you like her? L?¡± I asked.


    ¡°She was great. Really cool. She¡¯s an art student, studying digital. I think I¡¯ll get on really well with her.¡± She paused. ¡°Maybe you would, too.¡±


    ¡°Maybe I could meet her? And him, of course. We could go out on a double date sometime. What do you think? Me, you, L and her boyfriend.¡±


    That thought was surprisingly appealing. Mutual friends. That could be something. I hadn¡¯t considered friendship in any form since leaving Oxford.


    I voiced what I thought was the obvious.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you be worried about me pursuing her, though? Another lovely college girl?¡±


    Rosie looked at me like I was insane. ¡°Should I be?¡±


    ¡°No, of course not. I was joking with you. But trust can be difficult when ites to knowing pasts like mine. I¡¯d understand if you¡¯d be wary, even if you didn¡¯t need to be.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not worried one bit,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t think there¡¯s any chance you would do that to me.¡±


    I looked at her there, sitting opposite me, a perfect flower in the bustling surroundings, and she was right. I wouldn¡¯t ever do that to her. I¡¯d give my all to keep her safe, not hurt her. There would be no chance of that.


    My princess was growing into a gorgeous, heightened version of herself, glowing with confidence as she took a big bite of her burger. I wished the people around her could see how positive she was finding our rtionship. Maybe new friends for her were the way ahead for her, at least for now.


    ¡°Ask L when you see her next,¡± I said. ¡°We could go out for a meal, somewhere nice.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure that¡¯s the best,¡± she replied. ¡°L told me earlier that Peter is still struggling a bit, stepping foot out in public. He still thinks people are judging him, and bitching about L.¡±


    I could understand that. They probably were.


    ¡°Fine,¡± I said. ¡°If it¡¯s better for them, invite them over for a meal. They can sample my chef skills.¡±


    ¡°Can I?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    Her nod sealed the deal.


    ¡°I will do. Thanks.¡±


    We were hand in hand again when we left the burger bar and took the walk back home. My difort had eased away to virtually nothing, beyond caring about anyone else¡¯s opinions. I barely observed the stares from passers-by. Rosie¡¯s hand was warm in mine, and her pretty eyes kept shooting me nces as we approached the block. The chemistry was shifting from easy going burger sharers to dirty lovers. My sweet Eve was changing into Lilith with every step. And my sexuality was ready to strike from the very moment our front door closed behind us.


    She was ready for it.


    She was as desperate as I was for me to m her into the wall and pin her arms above her head as I kissed her. She ground against my thigh and whimpered like a dirty little whore.


    ¡°Tell me what filth you want in your first chapter,¡± I whispered in her ear. ¡°Let me know just how much of a slut you want to be on the pages.¡±


    Her eyes were hooded, Lilith in full possession of her.


    ¡°As dirty as you can make me,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m serious. Make me fucking dirty.¡±


    I let go of her arms and loosened my belt, taking out my cock in front of her. She was far hungrier for me than she was for vani milkshake, dropping to her knees and taking me into her mouth like she was starving. Her enthusiasm was gorgeous. I used her face like she was a slut in a brothel, out to serve, and she took it like she was one, so focused on my pleasure that she was a dribbling, retching mess. I loved her like that.


    I tugged her to her feet before I blew my load, dragging her through to the living room to toss her face first over the arm of the sofa, her ass in the air. She didn¡¯t need telling to wait as I got the toys and rope from the dining table. She moved herself to help me strip her bare without a sound, offering her hands behind her back as soon as she was naked. I bound them tight, taking her bnce from her so she toppledpletely, her face against the sofa seats as I gave her a p, p, p on her sweet little butt.


    Her bird-like shrieks were music to my balls. I pped her harder, twice, three times, loving the jerk of her body and the white of her flesh pinking up nicely.


    ¡°Ouch,¡± she said and I pped her other cheek so hard she cried out and squirmed.


    Beautiful!


    ¡°Spread your legs,¡± I told her, and she shuffled. I could see her pussy lips begging for cock, but her asshole was begging, too. A few more ps and I took the red marker, writing USE ME across her ass cheeks, and I kicked her legs even wider, so she was exposed like a cheap bitch.


    Then I got my camera ready.


    ¡°Look back at me,¡± I said, and she tried.


    Bent over the arm of the sofa, with her hands bound in rope behind her back, legs spread wide as her face twisted to smile at me, she looked like a fucked up little dolly in sses.


    Beautiful.


    USE ME.


    The pictures were worthy of any porn site in the world. The video I took as I ploughed her cunt with my dick would be a crime not to upload online, because she was a treasure the rest of mankind would go wild for.


    My real talent wasn¡¯t for video, though. My talent was for words.


    I¡¯d have to make sure my filthy words about her did her justice, capturing the purity of her innocence beneath the horny, needy bitch who needed to be fucked raw.


    It was me who came first. She was still dripping cum from her pussy, still bound tight as I took to my knees andpped her clean. She moaned so sweetly as I ate her out from behind, soaking my face as she came for me. And then I flipped her onto her back to do it again. Insatiable. Two bodies desperate, one body bound.


    It waste when we copsed in bed, both of us exhausted. Her hair was freshly washed coconut and her skin was soaped clean, but tonight that wasn¡¯t enough for me. I wanted to leave more of a mark on her. I wanted my filth under her clothes when she was trying to be a good pupil in her lessons.


    ¡°Where are you going?¡± she asked as I pulled free of her arms and headed back to the living room.


    ¡°Be right back,¡± I said, returning momentster with the permanent ck marker in my hand.


    I pulled back the bedcovers to disy her perky little tits, impressed when she stuck her chest out on instinct.


    ¡°Good girl,¡± I said and then wrote Julian¡¯s little slut down her stomach, smiling proudly as I dropped the pen on the bedside table.


    She didn¡¯t protest, grinning brightly as I got back into bed beside her.


    ¡°Yes, I am,¡± she said.


    She didn¡¯t wash it off in the morning, bouncing off to college like she was heading to a fairground this time, not to a bitching hell hole. Her demeanour was definitely shifting and so was mine. I needed to embrace my own soul¡¯s calling, just as she was embracing hers.


    It felt bizarrely natural when I switched on my oldptop and called up a nk page, and any hangups I thought I might have disappeared to dust the moment my fingers hit the keyboard.


    I didn¡¯t stop writing all day.

 Chapter 126

    ROSIE


    WHEN my friend molly left for london all those years ago, it had felt like she¡¯d taken my fun of studying along with her. Goodbye, for ever. But I had hope now. I had excitement about having someone new in my life here, outside of the vague circle I¡¯d been on the outskirts of.


    Instead of heading for the college gates at the end of my lessons, I took a detour to the art block.


    I hardly knew my way around it, so I sat myself down on a bench by the main design block exit doors, keeping an eye on the students as they walked on by. L was one of thest, walking alone. She was rummaging in her satchel as she approached. She didn¡¯t see me until I called out a hey with a smile on my face. Her smile back in return was such a relief that I leapt up from the bench, slinging my backpack on to join her on the path.


    ¡°Wasn¡¯t expecting to see you here,¡± she said. ¡°Whoa, seriously. Thanks foring.¡±


    That was one of the traits we must have shared, saying thank you for everything in the world, even when it wasn¡¯t needed. She didn¡¯t need to say thank you for me wanting to hang out with her. We walked in silence until we reached the gates, smiling at each other in that unspoken way that friends do. We waited until everyone else had passed us by before we sat on the wall at the side of the college.This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    ¡°Youing up to me in the library meant a lot,¡± I told her. ¡°I was so excited when I told Julian I met you. Feels like kindred spirits, a bit.¡±


    ¡°Tell me about it. I¡¯ve needed one. I was crapping myself when I found you in the library, thinking you might just tell me to fuck off, but you didn¡¯t. I told Peter all about it over dinner. He thought it was epic. We¡¯ve both been lonely, you know? Both me and him this past year. I guess that¡¯s normal when you¡¯re kicked out of your wholemunity.¡± She looked at me. ¡°Did Julian leave his family for you?¡±


    ¡°No, no. He left and moved across from Oxford. We¡¯ll, actually, that¡¯s not true. He got thrown out. They caught him cheating, except he wasn¡¯t cheating, not really. Things with his wife were over, even though they weren¡¯t technically. It¡¯splicated. Still feels weird to think he has a family out there. He always seemed to be just a guy upstairs on his own that people said to stay away from.¡±


    I knew I was rambling, so I took a breath, cheeks burning, well aware I was spilling a lot of info to a stranger. She didn¡¯t judge me or him, though, just nodded along.


    ¡°Peter¡¯s past isplicated, too. It was a hard choice for him, but his wife didn¡¯t even like him anymore. She used to dump dinner in front of him along with the kids¡¯, and as soon as they were in bed she¡¯d just ignore him, chatting to her friends on the phone. She went out every weekend. He¡¯s pretty sure she was cheating. It¡¯s one of those things I guess, though. They found out about me, and he was suddenly a piece of shit because I¡¯m younger. They said he must have been grooming, which was bullshit. I¡¯d been into him for years.¡±


    ¡°Were you the first person he fucked outside of his marriage?¡±


    ¡°There was one other woman, down the street,¡± L said. ¡°Lasted a few months, but he didn¡¯t like her like her. It was casual. It¡¯s another load of ammo for people. Serial womaniser. He¡¯ll fuck you over.¡±


    ¡°You trust him though, right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I trust him,pletely. How about you? Do you trust Julian?¡±


    ¡°I trust him one hundred percent.¡±


    ¡°Cool.¡± She turned towards me. ¡°So, how old is he? People say the age gap is huge.¡±


    I didn¡¯t flinch. ¡°Forty-eight.¡±


    Even she rose her eyebrows, but she didn¡¯t frown.


    ¡°Yep,¡± I said. ¡°Thirty years between us.¡±


    ¡°Plenty old enough for him to know his own mind, then. That¡¯s the way I see it. Unless he¡¯s an absolute total liar, feeding you a whole load of total and utter bullshit, he must be pretty damn sure you¡¯re the one.¡±


    I hadn¡¯t seen it quite like that. ¡°He¡¯s definitely not feeding me bullshit. I know that.¡±


    ¡°You feel it, right? I¡¯m like that with Peter. He goes crazy for me. Not just in the bedroom, but everywhere. It¡¯s better than anything else I¡¯ve ever seen in other couples. Most people always seem to be whining about the person they¡¯re with, or their rtionships are full of drama or shit, you know?¡±


    Yeah, I did know.


    Sheughed. ¡°If anything, it¡¯s the other way around. It¡¯s us people should be worried about fucking them over. We¡¯re the ones more likely to change our minds. Or you¡¯d think so, based on their logic, since we¡¯re so immature.¡±


    Another good point.


    ¡°I can¡¯t see me changing my mind on Julian. Not ever.¡±


    ¡°Me, neither. Me and Peter are for ever.¡±


    I looked at her fresh, feeling the friendship, wanting to know her.


    Her hair was in the same kind of braid as yesterday, but the ribbon was green this time. It caught the light so well, she looked like a mermaid. She was dressed in a turquoise mini dress, with big ck boots on her feet.


    Cute. Somehow I doubted she had Peter¡¯s Slut written on her in marker pen, but who was I to make that call? She could have his name tattooed all over her pussy for all I knew.


    She took out a pack of cigarettes from her satchel and offered me one, but I turned her down with a thanks. I watched her light up, then opted for a pretty hardcore question.


    ¡°What is it about Peter that makes him the one?¡±


    She didn¡¯t hesitate.


    ¡°A million things. He¡¯s really creative, but he doesn¡¯t think so. He went into scaffolding work along with his dad when he was a teenager, and that hasn¡¯t ever changed. He seems to think that because he¡¯s not Picasso, there¡¯s no point in trying. I think he¡¯d be a brilliant artist, actually, if he gave himself the chance. He¡¯s great at pointing out stuff when I¡¯m working on mine, and his colour skills are crazy good. I just wish he¡¯d give himself the chance and believed in himself as much as he believes in me. Maybe one day.¡± She looked at me. ¡°What¡¯s Julian like? I heard the rumours that he¡¯s posh.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s posh, yeah. Looks amazing in a suit. He was a university professor, before he left Oxford.¡±


    ¡°What subject did he teach?¡±


    ¡°English,¡± I tapped into her creativity thread. ¡°Years ago, he wanted to be an author. He¡¯s amazing, too. Seriously. I¡¯ve read some of his old manuscripts.¡±


    ¡°That must be fun. Maybe he¡¯ll show me some of his words, if I show him some of my art?¡±


    That made my heart soar. I¡¯d love to see his face as someone else apuded him, because they would. He could create whole worlds at his fingertips, and they were so vivid, so real, so¡­ awesome.


    ¡°Fancying over to ours sometime? Julian suggested it, actually. He¡¯s a great chef, cooks an amazing meal. It would be great to hang out. I¡¯d love to meet Peter, too.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± She grinned so bright. ¡°Sounds good to me. Might be a stepping stone to hitting the great outdoors. Imagine that. We could be out partying together before you know it. That would be dream worthy.¡±


    The idea made me so happy. Friends.


    ¡°I¡¯d love to see your art, too,¡± I said. ¡°I noticed your backdrop on yourptop yesterday. You did that?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I did. Can¡¯t wait to get qualified and have more of an outlet. Hopefully. Roll on summer.¡±


    She was in the same year as me. My exams and qualifications were looming. But I hadn¡¯t thought about that, yet. I hadn¡¯t really ever considered it. I¡¯d never figured it was likely I¡¯d be leaving Mum behind, my attention was usually all on her.

 Chapter 127

    I sat with L on the college wall for way over an hour before we said our goodbyes and headed home. It wasn¡¯t just forbidden lovers and being cast out by everyone we talked about, conversation flowed easily around the rest of life as well. We were two very different peas in a simr pod, nothing alike, but that didn¡¯t matter. There was something that seemed to click between us. It was so nice to feel like that after so long. Thank you, Julian and Peter.


    There were none of the idiot guys from block seven outside the garage on my way home today, and I wouldn¡¯t have cared if there were. Julian had put paid to any nerves I¡¯d have had on that score, just from shooting them a hostile nce. My fears were disappearing. I ignored all of the not so sly nces as I walked, really not giving a shit, still bouncing high on my chat with L when the top of my apartment block came into view, but so did the figures on the street in front of me,ughing as they turned the corner in my direction. Fucking hell. I should have expected it.


    Mum had obviously called in sick at work again, and she must have figured I¡¯d been straight home from college and not hanging out with a friend at the gates, because she took a step back when she saw me, as though she¡¯d been hit in the gut. Trisha was by her side, and took her arm to support her like she was the best friend in the world, and I stood on the spot, not sure quite what to do. It would have probably been easier to decide if Trisha hadn¡¯t been there guiding the scene. Me and Mum on our own would have been easier.


    Fuck, I missed my mum. It hurt really bad.


    ¡°Come on, Bev,¡± Trish said, and tugged her to the side, ready to cross the street away from me.


    I picked up my pace instinctively, wanting try to build bridges, just on sight of Mum, but Trisha¡¯s grip tightened on Mum¡¯s elbow, like she really was on a mission to defend her. That¡¯s when it urred to me  seeing the fire in Trisha¡¯s eyes. On some fucked up level, Trisha was probably delusional about her own part in this universe, as warped and incestuous and socially twisted as it was. She likely thought she really was the friend Mum needed her to be. And that was the thing about the ce. Suddenly it felt ustrophobic, and boxed in, everyone knowing everything about everyone else and casting judgement.


    Before Julian infiltrated that as an outsider, I¡¯d had no true idea or sense of it. It was just a smog of stifled energy I epted as normal, because it was all I¡¯d ever known. But now it felt like the veils wereing down. My vision clearing. The edges crisping in front of me.


    ¡°Mum¡± I tried, before she had the chance to cross the street, but she wouldn¡¯t look at me.


    ¡°Leave her alone,¡± Trisha snapped, but I ignored her, just kept on scurrying towards my mother. ¡°She¡¯s too upset to speak to you!¡± Trisha tried again, and that was likely true, but it didn¡¯t stop me. It couldn¡¯t.


    I grabbed Mum¡¯s other arm before they stepped out into the road, my own tears springing up as hers did.


    ¡°Talk to me,¡± I said. ¡°Please, Mum. At least give it a chance.¡±


    ¡°Give him a chance, you mean,¡± she said. ¡°No fucking way, Rosie. No chance. He¡¯s disgusting. One day you¡¯ll open your eyes and see the truth for yourself. Until then, you can both fuck right off!¡±


    I broke my grip on her arm, taken aback by just how much she meant that.


    Any wavering she¡¯d shown when I¡¯d revealed the truth had shrivelled away, reced by pure, nasty certainty. It took my breath when she walked away with Trisha, because it truly hit me then. I didn¡¯t give a shit what anyone else in this estate thought, or at college, or on the street, but I cared about what Mum thought. I cared so much it hurt.


    It was obvious that she wasn¡¯t going to be messaging or trying to talk to me anytime soon. She wasn¡¯t hovering with the message window open every evening on her phone, contemting reaching out, like I¡¯d been.


    I watched her and Trisha walk down the road towards the Brewery Tavern until they disappeared out of view, my eyes filled with tears. I could imagine Trisha being proud of Mum for turning her back, but if only she knew the man Julian really was. I just wished she¡¯d taken the chance to see for herself.


    I tried to hide the tears when I reached our block, not wanting to put a dampener on Julian, or add to his shame, or take away from what a great time I¡¯d had with L, but he saw right through it. He put his hands on my shoulders as soon as he saw my face.


    ¡°What happened?¡±


    ¡°I saw Mum.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡±


    I tried tough it off, just a little. ¡°She isn¡¯t going to be knocking at the door any time soon.¡±


    ¡°Not unless it¡¯s to punch me in the face.¡± His eyes were so caring. ¡°Do you want to leave this ce? Move away from this block and away from this drama, I mean? I know it must hurt, maybe too much to bear. You can still get to college. We¡¯ll make sure of it. There are buses.¡±


    I had a strange aversion to that idea, even though on some level it sounded like heaven. Getting out of Crenham Drive would have seemed like a dream a few months ago, but there was a deep sense of terror at that thought now. It felt like that would be the end of it  any chance I had of making up with Mum. If I left her behind. If I left this ce behind. If I left my home behind¡­


    She wouldn¡¯t being after me.


    ¡°I can¡¯t leave her,¡± I told him.


    ¡°I understand that, Rosie,¡± he said. ¡°Believe me. I know how hard it is to walk away.¡±


    For the first time, I got a true glimpse of the extreme pain he must have been in to leave his family behind in Oxford, with them telling him to fuck off and nevere back. It was hard enough thinking of moving away from the same apartment block as Mum, let alone disappear from her lifepletely, without her even caring where I was going.


    I pushed the thoughts aside as well as I could, taking a deep breath. No point darkening the daypletely.


    ¡°I saw L again,¡± I told him. ¡°We got on great.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll be seeing them both, then?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, for sure. She was happy toe over. I told her you¡¯re a great chef.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s hope I live up to your praises.¡±


    ¡°You will.¡±


    I dropped my bag on the floor before I spotted hisptop, sitting proudly at the dining table.


    ¡°You did it?¡± I asked him, looking up with a grin. ¡°Did you really manage it? Did you write me a chapter?¡±


    ¡°It was incredibly easy to write you a chapter, angel.¡± He kissed my head. ¡°You¡¯ve given me an awful lot of content. I could write a whole series of filthy fantasies with you as the star. I could produce Julian Lockley¡¯s dirty work, volumes one to seven hundred, no problem at all.¡±


    His words made me smile, but I was already deep in the forbidden zone, desperate to read but nervous at the same time. Would it be me he was describing? How would I appear on the pages? How did he see me, when I was like that?Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    Only one way to find out.


    ¡°Can I read it?¡± I asked, and he gestured over to the dining chair.


    ¡°It¡¯s ready and waiting. Sit yourself down. I hope you enjoy it.¡±


    ¡°Actually, I¡¯m crapping myself,¡± I said. ¡°I can¡¯t believe this is going to be about me.¡±


    Heughed at that, and pulled the chair out for me.


    ¡°You¡¯re not the only one crapping yourself. I¡¯m not feeling overly optimistic about my achievements.¡±


    I took my seat, looking back at him as I plonked my butt down.


    ¡°Howe? Your words are always amazing.¡±


    He bent over to press his mouth to my ear. His breath was a whisper that gave me tingles right the way down to my clit.


    ¡°Because no filthy words could ever do you justice, my pure little angel, and this gets graphic. Extremely graphic.¡± He licked up my cheek, his filthy selfing to the fore, and my clit throbbed so hard I had to clench my thighs.


    ¡°Wee to my imagination, sweetheart,¡± he said. ¡°I hope you¡¯re ready for


    it.¡±

 Chapter 128

    JULIAN


    MY cock was swelling the moment my angel pushed her sses up her nose and started reading my words onscreen. My mind had run riot, fingers taking on a life of their own, and there had been nothing I could do to tone it down. The fruits of my efforts were so graphic they were virtually toxic.


    I¡¯d forgotten what it felt like to be utterly consumed by creativity, my senses swept up in the tornado of my subconscious as my characters took on their own form. The intensity of the writing experience had increased tenfold from any of my earlier efforts. My muse had possessed my soul. I could never do Rosie¡¯s beauty of character justice, but I¡¯d tried my hardest.


    The erotic content in front of her wasn¡¯t the only thing I¡¯d been writing today, but I wasn¡¯t ready to share that. For now, it was all about the perfection of defiling her sweetness on the pages.


    I took a seat beside her at the table, focused on her expressions as she read. Her eyes were transfixed by the screen, breaths turning shallow as she scrolled. She was immersed in my words, just as I was immersed in her.


    I knew which part she was reading as she stiffened in the chair. Her mouth opened, and she shed me a nce.


    ¡°Too much?¡± I asked.


    ¡°No, just¡­ different.¡±


    It was just the tip of one extremely filthy iceberg. One chapter of many already brewing in my mind.


    I¡¯did myself absolutely bare for her in this scene, exposing my true, deviant nature. Her eptance would be nothing short of a stunning miracle. To act out the scene for real would be like heaven on a seedy tter, but I had faith in miracles for once in my life. Rosie¡¯s cheeks were bright pink as she kept on scrolling, but she didn¡¯t pause or hold back. She soaked my words in without hesitation.


    I wondered how wet her pussy was for me. The thought of her picturing my fantasies made my dick throb, and I had to bite my tongue to hold back from asking if she wanted to touch herself. I noticed how she began to shift in her seat, squirming. Her legs opened, just a touch, and she rocked a little. Grinding.


    ¡°You really want to do this to me?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Have you done it before?¡±


    ¡°Once, a long time ago. It would be a very different experience with you, though.¡±


    Her eyes were magical.


    ¡°Why would it be different?¡±


    ¡°Because you¡¯re an innocent little angel, and your cunt is considerably tighter.¡±


    Those magical eyes sparkled at my words.


    ¡°Would it hurt?¡±


    ¡°Maybe. That depends on how wet you were. How desperate you were to take it.¡±


    She smirked as she looked back at the screen, her Lilith side embracing her.


    ¡°I¡¯d be very wet.¡±Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    ¡°And would you be desperate to take it?¡±


    She paused, like a devil, her nerves peeping through her smile as I watched, hawk-eyed. Then she nodded, with a dirty smile.


    ¡°Yeah. I¡¯d be desperate to take it.¡±


    I palmed by hard cock through my trousers. I knew which part she was reading, adoring how she circled her hips again.


    ¡°You really want to see me like this?¡± she asked, descending further into the filth.


    ¡°It would drive me beyond crazy to see you like that. To see inside you like that.¡±


    She looked disappointed when the scene onscreen came to an end. She click, click, clicked for more, but there was none to be read. The rest of my work was hidden in a separate document.


    ¡°Well, that was hot,¡± she told me, then fake fanned herself, in an attempt to make light of it, but there was no making light of it. I wanted her too much. I grabbed hold of her chair leg and pulled her closer. Her breath hitched as I put my face in hers.


    ¡°Are you going to be that needy little slut while I film you? Do you want to be a good girl and take what you¡¯re given?¡±


    ¡°You really want to do those things to me?¡±


    ¡°You know I do. You know that dirty little heroine is you.¡± I took her face in my hands, squeezing her cheeks. ¡°How did it feel to read about yourself? Did you like it?¡±


    Her voice sounded so cute with her cheeks gripped.


    ¡°I loved it.¡±


    ¡°Liked reading about your own pussy being used like a fuck toy? Stretched and raw? Taking what it¡¯s given? I swear, I¡¯ll be giving you a lot to take.¡±


    She nodded, managing to smile.


    ¡°Do it. Show me.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re going to let me own your cunt like that?¡±


    She gasped as I let her cheeks ago, then moaned as I ran my fingers up her thigh. Her panties were soaking under her skirt, just as I¡¯d hoped they¡¯d be.


    ¡°You know I want it, Julian. Give it to me. Those words are just promises until you make them real.¡±


    The beast was alive in me. The possession took control.


    ¡°Get ready, then. Naked. On the sofa. Now.¡±


    She didn¡¯t need telling twice, jumping up from her seat and stripping bare as she crossed the room. The marker pen scrawl of Julian¡¯s Slut was still visible on her stomach, just smudged, and it made it hornier to watch her as she tugged her sopping wet panties down her legs.


    As for me, I had some surprises to show her. Thank fuck for next day delivery.


    I retrieved the box from the bedroom, and she was already sitting on the sofa, naked with her legs spread wide when I returned. I ced the box on the coffee table and pulled out the new toys for her viewing, one by one. Some of the dildos were considerably bigger than she was ustomed to, but she didn¡¯t baulk, her legs stayed open wide.


    ¡°Wow, you¡¯ve been busy,¡± she said.


    I leant in and dropped a kiss on her lips, sliding a finger over her wetness.


    She reached for me, tried to kiss me back, exhaled hard when I pulled away. ¡°Not as busy as you¡¯re going to be,¡± I said.


    It wasn¡¯t just sex toys I¡¯d purchasedst night, thinking about the day ahead. I¡¯d chosen some other props as well, and ways to record the action in progress.


    The white fis stockings were still packaged. She pulled them free, not hesitating to slip them on and up her beautiful pale thighs. I loved the way her skin was still a mottle of love bite bruises through the white mesh. It offset the innocence like a dream.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± she said. ¡°These are¡­ sexy.¡±


    ¡°Another thanks that¡¯s really not warranted.¡± I smirked up at her as I set up the phone stand on the floor between her legs. ¡°But you¡¯re very wee.¡±


    She gave a filthy wave and a giggle as I clipped my phone in and set it to record. The view was perfect. Up close and personal.


    Rosie offered her wrists the moment I took the new rope from the parcel, but I didn¡¯t bind them together this time. I wrapped her wrists separately, lifted her feet to the sofa cushions and bound her wrists to her ankles, exposing her vulnerability. She wouldn¡¯t be moving anywhere. I was d the chesterfield was a big brute. It had enough depth to amodate her sweet little body, with her head propped against the back cushions. Her knees were bent high, and her arms were stretched to amodate, and I was the filthy pervert in control of it all.


    I was the master in charge of her perfect princess cunt. Those words made me smile as I thought them, the exact same words Rosie had just read. She knew the situation. She knew what wasing. And her master was going to make it beautiful for her.


    I took out a huge bottle of lube and ced it on the table. I took out new marker pens, and then I went for the piece de resistance as her eyes followed me through to the kitchen. She knew what I was going for.


    ¡°I really can¡¯t believe that will go inside me,¡± she said as I ced the utensil on the coffee table with the rest of the toys.


    ¡°Do you trust my experience?¡±


    She nodded, sweetly. ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Do you trust me?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    I looked adoringly at my beautiful slut, well aware of how delightful she would look onscreen. Nervous and innocent.


    ¡°Let me own your cunt,¡± I said. ¡°Will you be a good girl and take it?¡±


    She looked me right in the eyes as she answered me.


    ¡°I¡¯ll always be a good girl and take it for you.¡±


    I¡¯d be testing out that statement tonight.


    I was suited as usual, fully clothed with the camera still rolling as I took a detour to wash my hands in the bathroom. I knew the suspense would only add to her heightening nerves. Her eyes followed my every movement as I took my position back up between her legs, but she couldn¡¯t push her own sses up her nose. They were at an angle, making her look even more adorably cute. I loved them like that. But needs must. I pushed them up her nose for her so she could watch what I was doing.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± she said and then her eyes were on me as I trailed a finger from her lips all the way down her stomach to her pussy. I eased her pussy lips open to show off her glistening clit for the camera, one finger on either side of her slit.


    ¡°You look so fucking beautiful,¡± I told her. ¡°I can¡¯t wait to show you how filthy your cunt looks onscreen.¡±


    She closed her eyes and moaned as my fingers teased, so horny she squirmed. My words must have worked their magic on her dirty imagination. Now to bring those fantasies to life in the flesh.

 Chapter 129

    I warmed her up with my tongue against her lovely slit, sweeping. I tickled her clit with the tip, stopping when she started begging me to suck at her. No. She wasn¡¯t having that yet. Her torment hadn¡¯t even begun.


    She tried out her bonds while I lubed up the first of the dildos on the table, but they didn¡¯t give her so much as an inch, wrists bound tight to her ankles. I hitched her legs higher, and she was like a ragdoll, subject to however I wanted to position her. Perfect. Just as I¡¯d imagined while writing the scene.


    I worked her pussy with three fingers nice and deep before I gave her the first of the dildos. I curled my fingers into position inside her, teasing the sweet spot, and they were still inside her when I pushed the fake dick in along with them. It was only a small one, but it was enough of a stretch that she cried out.


    Her pussy was getting used to be taken, but she was still a tight little girl.


    I was blessed with experience enough that my fingers didn¡¯t just take on a life of their own on a keyboard  they took on a life of their own on Rosie, too. I brushed her clit, and twisted the cock inside her, my fingers still curled deep as I found a rhythm, stretching and working her until she was a whimpering bitch with her eyes closed tight.


    ¡°Tell me how good that feels,¡± I said, and her hands fisted in her bonds. ¡°It¡¯s crazy good.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re a dirty bitch, aren¡¯t you? You want your cunt used deeper? Harder?¡±


    She looked at the camera between her legs.


    ¡°Make me the girl in the story,¡± she said. ¡°I want my cunt used like hers. You know I do.¡±


    Hearing the word cunt from such an innocent mouth always drove me insane, and I took it out on her. I fucked her with a new rhythm, faster and harder, and my good girl took it, panting and bucking until it was time for more of a stretch.


    She moaned so beautifully as I eased the dildo and my fingers from her. And moaned again when she caught sight of the next toy in my arsenal, smiling nervously as I slicked it up with a whole palmful of lube. It was in my hand as Ipped at her. I pressed the head of it against her as I gave her the blessing of my lips around her clit, sucking.


    ¡°Fuck¡­¡± she said. ¡°God yes¡­¡±


    She¡¯d earned it. I used my mouth in tandem with the thick, heavy toy I eased into her pussy, and she was still fisting her hands, bucking against me as best she could. I circled the thick rubber dick inside her as I sucked, loosening her pussy as she moaned, and I felt her disappearing into the sensations, lost to everything but slutty pleasure as I made here, slowly, slowly, slowly until she was a horny, slippery wreck, her beautiful body shuddering so nicely.


    ¡°Fucking hell,¡± she said as I eased the big dildo from her, the gape of her cunt like an eager mouth. Such beauty to behold.


    She would take my fantasies, and I knew it. I could see it in her happy, dirty smile as I showed her the slick dildo and ran my tongue up it, savouring the taste.


    Her eyes were wide, breaths still short. She knew what wasing next. I was following the script to the letter.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.


    I pushed the dildo back into her, deep in one thrust. She squirmed and whimpered, and I fucked her with it, thumping it deep, loving the way she squelched for me. I let her clit recover before ying there again, rising myself from the floor to suck at her nipples as the dildo mmed her cunt.


    I picked up the pace with the dildo, and she fell into it, panting so hard, and it was a divine delight to lick my tongue up her face as she shuddered and cried out and came for a second time.


    This time I yanked the dildo from her, ensuring both myself and the camera caught sight of her gaping hole.


    ¡°My God, Rosie you look¡­¡±


    ¡°Adorable,¡± she said, repeating the word I¡¯d used in the chapter.


    ¡°Exactly that,¡± I said.


    ¡°When are you going to fuck me?¡± she asked, smiling in the lusty headspace.


    ¡°You know when,¡± I said. ¡°We¡¯ve barely even started.¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t me a girl for trying,¡± she said.


    She had definitely been soaking in the story. She knew whaty ahead.


    ¡°I want your cum in me,¡± she said, nerves lost to the pleasure. ¡°I want you to fill me up like you promised.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll get everything I promised,¡± I told her. ¡°Just be a good slut and take it.¡±


    My fucking God, how I worked her. Toy after toy, slick with lube. I kept her clit on the edge, not caring how much she panted or begged for another release. Her next climax was going to be from within. I changed the angle of thetest dildo, sharp, and she was crying out with every thrust, tense with the need toe.


    Her orgasm was a wet one. She bucked like a good slut, head twisted to the side as she groaned for me. She was feral, hissing like a desperate bitch, such a contrast to the cute girl who bounced off in the morning for college.


    She was still gasping as I pulled the dildo free, spilling wetness out all over the leather of the sofa. My kinks took over as I grabbed a fresh marker pen and wrote dirty bitch across her tits, hoisting her up to show the camera, and then I spat over the words, smearing them as she watched me.


    Now it was my turn to take her cunt. I dropped my pants and pulled her towards me, making sure her pretty cunt would still be visible for the camera. My cock slid in right to the hilt, and she was so slick she was like tight silk around me as I pounded her. I wanted to fill her up with cum. I needed to see it dripping from her. I craved to see it inside her, just as I wanted the camera to record the divine. But not quickly. I wanted to savour every fucking second.


    She let me take her like a good slut, bound tight, subject to every movement I made. I kissed her as I fucked her, my hips pistoning faster as my own body sought its release. I had to battle my animal urges, trying to fight the need to run riot and let myself free, but her cunt was too tempting, too needy, and I lost myself, spurting right the way inside her with guttural cries.


    Fuck, she sucked me dry.


    She knew what wasing next as I pulled out and dropped to my knees, back between her legs. I checked out the camera screen to make sure she was still in good view, and she watched me from that vantage point, her face so pretty.


    I loved the trepidation in her eyes as I picked up the whisk from the coffee table. I tapped it against my palm so she could hear the promise of the rattling wires. It looked so fucking intimidating that her mouth dropped open, but she kept her legs spread, arching to invite me.


    Dirty little bitch.


    Her cunt was soaking wet from lube, cum, and her own juices, so I didn¡¯t need to prepare the metal. I teased her with it, running it up and down her slit, pressing with promise. She was going to look so fucking filthy on camera.


    Her pussy may have been a wet dream, but it was still tight, despite the preparation. The metal wires of the whisk held firm as I began to push them inside her. I loved how they bore into her sweet pussy, looking so perversely gorgeous that I was groaning at the sight.


    Rosie was groaning, too. Biting her lip. Holding her breath.


    My fantasies wereing to life.


    I was going to open up Rosie¡¯s tight young cunt with a kitchen whisk and show her slick, pounded insides for the camera. The depths of her would be so visible, showing her cunt off for the dirty wonder it was. I had filthy white lights behind my eyes at the thought.


    The camera would see my cum pooling deep as well as the pink insides of her. That¡¯s what I needed. That¡¯s what I craved. To defile the beautiful angel like she was my ything of a toy.


    She whimpered and tensed up as the whisk stretched her. The widest thick head of metal was going to be the hardest part.


    ¡°Rx,¡± I said. ¡°Trust me with your cunt.¡±


    She nodded, but her eyes were closed.


    ¡°Look at me. Eyes open.¡±


    She did as she was told, keeping her pretty eyes open wide as I eased the whisk in deeper. The wires were giving way to her tightness, just a touch, and her cunt was taking it. Her cunt was being syed and exposed, and she was an angel of a temptress, letting me use her.


    Her pussy tightened around the metal, sucking it deep when it was all the way inside, and she whimpered so beautifully.


    ¡°How does it feel?¡± I asked her, and she sucked in a breath before she could answer.


    ¡°Dirty.¡±


    ¡°It looks dirty, too.¡±


    I eased it out, slowly, positioning myself so I could take full advantage of the sight. The camera light was on, and the bright pinkness of her deep pussy was gorgeous. My cum was there and as obvious as I¡¯d dreamed, thick and white, dribbling from her as I pulled the whisk out to its peak. The effect of the stretch was at its maximum. She was open and wide, her poor tight pussy taking it like a goddess. It was as though she was syed by a dirty speculum, but this one was more severe as it moved in and out, my hand firm on the handle.


    I twisted it as I fucked her, relying on my skill to keep her on the edge. I read her body like a bible, every movement of hers a revtion, and she rxed, giving in to me, sumbing her body fully to mine. I felt it in her  pure, filthy trust. I saw the reverence in her eyes as she smiled.


    She loved being the whore version of herself I¡¯d written on the pages. There was a pride in her that made my heart sing as she lived up to the seedy fantasies I¡¯did out in words.


    Her pride was all warranted. She was the greatest little angel of a slut that had ever lived. Of that I was sure.


    ¡°Good girl, Rosie,¡± I said to my goddess to reinforce her achievement, and then I used my dirty, hungry tongue as a reward, making here all over again.

 Chapter 130

    JULIAN


    Through clear eyes, i looked at the scene before me. SO WILLING and so filthily raw, with Rosie still bound, wrists to ankles, having given herself overpletely to my fantasies. Putting my filthy urges into words had plunged me into another realm, and seeing my needs brought to life in the flesh, had me torn.


    The same dilemma always gued me.


    Was I freeing her and letting her explore the true depths of her sexuality, or was I exploiting her curiosity?


    Only now, my self-imposed answers were changing, just as she was. Her curiosity didn¡¯t seem exploited in the slightest.


    It hadn¡¯t been that long ago that Rosie was a virgin, knowing nothing of sex besides book romances and ying with her clit, but she rubbed her wrists once I¡¯d freed them with not so much as a hint of regret at what had unfolded. She stretched out her legs to ease the stiffness, and she was grinning, still high on the thrill. A minx in the making.


    I helped her to her feet, and she followed me through to the bathroom, wincing as she dropped to the toilet. She knew the routine by now, and wasfortable with every part of it. From period blood, to pissing post sex. None of it mattered anymore, she never batted an eyelid.


    She spread her legs so I could wipe her pussy clean.


    ¡°Is it hurting?¡± I asked, but she shook her head.


    ¡°No, not yet anyway. You always make it feel too good to hurt. I¡¯m sure I could have taken a whole fist, and I¡¯d still have been desperate. You had me going crazy.¡±


    A whole fist. She spoke as though it was an extremity, but it would be anything but in my world. At some point I¡¯d be wanting to ease my whole hand inside that tight little cunt.


    She looked right into my eyes, stunning as she sought approval.


    ¡°Was I good?¡±


    ¡°Good?¡± Iughed. ¡°You couldn¡¯t have been any better.¡±


    ¡°Neither could you. Seriously.¡±


    She was heady, riding high.


    ¡°I guess it¡¯s the stockings, hey? Do they suit me? You picked well.¡±


    ¡°They look amazing on you.¡±


    She got to her feet when she was done pissing, and gave me a twirl, showing off the fiss.


    ¡°Should I wear them to college with a little tutu? It would give people something to gossip about for real. What do you think?¡±


    What did I think?


    Her question hit me like a sickening thump in the gut at the thought of her parading those sweet slutty stockings in public. My jaw tensed as my pretty ballerina did another spin. My words came out unbidden.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you even think of wearing those to college.¡±


    She stopped spinning, cracking a grin.


    ¡°Like I could. They¡¯d march me straight out the door. They wouldn¡¯t ever want to see me in these, even if I wanted to wear them.¡±


    She was very wrong on that front. My pretty princess still had no idea just how gorgeous she was.


    ¡°Oh, they would want to see you, sweetheart, believe me. They¡¯d be chasing you down the street, dicks screaming for your cunt.¡±


    I didn¡¯t recognise the ferocity in my own voice, but I was sharp enough toprehend its origin.


    My pretty princess.


    Jealousy. Possessiveness. The need to be the only man in her world.


    It wasn¡¯t like me in the slightest. I barely rated exclusivity, and I hadn¡¯t given monogamy any true faith in years. But our connection was changing me, just as I was changing her.


    ¡°I was only joking,¡± she said. ¡°Don¡¯t worry.¡±


    I tried tough it off, brushing a thumb down her cheek.


    ¡°Save the delightful sight for me, please. I¡¯ll be very grateful.¡±


    She gave me a shy smile. ¡°You¡¯re the only person I¡¯d ever want to wear them for.¡±


    Ever.


    That was a key word.


    The selfless side of my love for Rosie would happily set her free when the time was right for her, putting her needs for a life ahead before my own. But looking at her now, with the afterglow of kink in her eyes and those sweet fis stockings on her beautiful legs, I knew I¡¯d never be able to do that. I¡¯d never be able to let her walk away with a wave and a goodbye.


    ¡°Are you ok?¡± she asked, clearly picking up on my change of tone.


    ¡°Actually, no,¡± I said, giving her a smirk to lighten it. ¡°I think you¡¯ve driven me insane. Congrattions on a job well done.¡±


    ¡°Same goes.¡± She ran her hand down my tie. ¡°I loved what you did to me tonight. You can think what you want about corrupting me and all that, but I know what I want. I want more of everything. I want you and everything you want to show me.¡±


    She wasn¡¯t lying. Corruption, or whatever the hell it was, was touching her soul. We were both caught up in it. It was mutual. Exclusive. Beyond measure.


    I had another gift waiting for her. I closed the bathroom door far enough to reveal the hanger, and her eyes lit up as I took the dressing gown down from the hook. A pale pink satin robe that would glide over her silky skin like a dream. I held it out and she slipped her arms in. I tied up the belt and admired how stunning it looked on her, especially with the stockings still on.


    ¡°Oh my God, thank you,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯s gorgeous.¡±


    The way she threw her arms around me was enough that I picked her up, breathing in the scent of her as I carried her through the apartment. The toys were still on the table, the sofa cushions still scattered. I ignored everything but the whisk, dropping down low enough to take hold of it on our way through to the kitchen.


    A dressing gown and a box full of sex toys weren¡¯t the only things I had nned out for Rosie this evening. An online food order had delivered fresh ingredients for a pork belly risotto, and I already had two halves of a chocte cake baked for her, ready for cream.


    I showed her the shopping and described the menu to her once I¡¯d dropped her to the floor. Even now, after everything she should have be ustomed to and everything she deserved, she still looked shocked at how much consideration I¡¯d given her. I knew pork belly was one of her favourites, and chocte cake was top of her list.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± she said again. ¡°I can¡¯t believe it. Seriously. I just can¡¯t. I¡¯m the luckiest girl in the world.¡±


    ¡°I love your appreciation. But trust me. We¡¯re descending fast, and the iceberg goes deep.¡±


    She rolled her eyes, adoringly. ¡°Yeah, well maybe mine does, too.¡±


    My base line sense of morality hadn¡¯t dried up entirely, no matter how many times she tried to relieve it, but who cared about that anymore? I was a freak consumed by lust as well as love, but she knew that now, so why hold it back? Why pretend? Why not show her the true extent of what a filthy deviant she¡¯d be entangled with? It made perfect sense. If she loved me, then I had to give that love respect and be the real me.


    Her curious stare had me enthralled as I held the whisk up in my hand, still glistening wet from our ytime. I ran my tongue up the wires, my own stare filthy and true as she watched me. I was baring my soul to my sweetheart.


    Rosie took it as a challenge, buying into the depths of my sexuality. She didn¡¯t speak as she opened the fridge and took out the pot of whipping cream, her stare looking straight back into mine once she¡¯d taken the mixing bowl from the cupboard. She poured the cream in the bowl, and then she held out her hand for the dirty whisk, her robe hanging open enough to make my cock pulse.


    Her eyes were as filthy as mine, entangled beyond measure.


    ¡°I don¡¯t give a shit how deep the iceberg goes, Julian, I want to explore it,¡± she said. ¡°Give me the whisk.¡±


    This wasn¡¯t the scared girl rapping nervously at my door just a short time ago. This wasn¡¯t the shy girl I¡¯d seen with the 18th birthday banner downstairs, her flesh untouched.


    I handed the filthy whisk over and my sweet little angel gave it a token lick herself first, before using it in the mixing bowl to work the cream. She didn¡¯t flinch, didn¡¯t falter, smiling at me like a temptress.


    ¡°Stop seeing me as a naive little virgin,¡± she told me. ¡°I took what you gave me in the living room, and I loved it, didn¡¯t I? I wanted to be the girl in the chapter even more than I wanted to be the girl in the photos.¡±


    ¡°I loved it, too,¡± I said, ¡°more than you can ever know. You brought it to life and made it real. You were perfect.¡±


    ¡°Ohhh, top marks for me,¡± she said, whisking away like crazy, her little tits delicious as the robe fell further open. She knew what she was doing to me, my little minx.


    ¡°What¡¯s in the next chapter? Give me a clue.¡±


    ¡°No clues,¡± I said, ¡°that would¡­ weaken the plot.¡±


    Sheughed. ¡°Well, whatever it is, I can¡¯t wait. I¡¯ll do whatever your filthy mind creates.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, really. We¡¯re on the same page. Literally. Stop beating yourself up over it every fifteen seconds. You can p my cute ass instead.¡±


    My turn tough. Yes, she was a cheeky little minx now.


    Her eyes sparkled as she licked the whisk again, and it was too much. Fuck the chocte cake. I scooped out whipped cream in a frantic handful from the bowl and smeared it all over her angel lips, forcing it into her mouth with my fingers, and then I kissed her, deep, my craziness free. I was done with being ashamed and trying to rein myself in. I was done with trying to fight the cause of reason. I didn¡¯t want anything but the insane devotion to the creature in front of me, just as she felt it in return. She kissed me back, Lilith not Eve, and I knew then, beyond measure, that we were fucking doomed. Neither of us were going to get out of this, our whole tangled universe had us at its filthy core.


    Rosie¡¯s face was still smeared with cream when she dropped to her knees on the kitchen floor. My cock was hard again, no doubt still tasting of her pussy as she pulled it free and sucked me off as though she¡¯d been an expert for years. Her eyes were big and wide as she fluttered her eyshes behind her cute sses, and she bobbed her head like a dream, flicking her tongue just right, and smacking her lips like she was sucking a lollipop, interspersed with naughty smiles.


    She didn¡¯t want whipped cream and chocte cake, she wanted my cum  that was obvious when she opened her mouth nice and wide for her reward. She got it in long streams, and I was so spent by the explosion that I leant back against the counter, stroking her hair as I caught my breath.


    Fucking hell.


    The reality was obvious. My princess was as insatiable as I was, she showed it every chance she had.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org.


    She grinned like her cute self when she was back up to her feet, giving me a twerk of her ass through her robe. Yes, she was indeed blossoming into a sexual goddess, and it was suiting her.


    ¡°You going to show me how to cook pork, then?¡± she asked. ¡°Maybe one day I can cook it for you. And cook it for L and Peter, too. Although they¡¯ll already be desperate for more of your steak by then.¡±


    My gentlemanly nature regained control as I stepped up behind her and exined the recipe. I kissed her neck in gratitude as she reached for a peeler to start on the carrots, but it wasn¡¯t gratitude for the filthy pleasures she¡¯d blessed me with, or for her confidence in ying my games.


    My gratitude was purely for her being her.


    My Eve as well as my Lilith.


    It was a delight to see how keen she was for college the next morning. She didn¡¯t have even a hint of nerves as she waved goodbye for the day with her bag on her shoulder. She hadn¡¯t noticed what I¡¯d put in there, buried between her notebooks, which was just as well, since I didn¡¯t want any protests.


    I was happier than I¡¯d been in years when I sat back down with myptop for day two of the flow of the words. Without the weight of my own selfhate on my shoulders, my creativity knew no bounds.


    Who knows? Maybe I really would make an author someday. Dreams cane true, after all.


    I wasing to learn that day after day.

 Chapter 131

    ROSIE


    MY morning lessons flew by at college, and i was immune to any whispers or sneersing my way. I didn¡¯t give a shit about any of them, and I didn¡¯t really give a shit about my sses today, either. I barely touched my notebooks or looked at my previous study notes, focusing purely on the textbooks in front of me and my little spiral bound jotter, flying high on the excitement of what was toe. I had a friend again. A real one, not a fake one.


    I met L in the library at lunchtime, and I didn¡¯t even bother taking my novel out, just as she didn¡¯t bother with herptop. It was all about us, and the chatter.


    ¡°Peter¡¯s really keen to meet up,¡± she told me again. ¡°He thinks dinner sounds great.¡±


    ¡°Fab. Are you happy toe to ours, then?¡±


    The terms ours was bing so much more natural.


    ¡°Yeah, whenever you want.¡±


    ¡°Saturday night?¡±


    She nodded. ¡°Sounds great.¡±


    In the meantime, we had plenty of time to spend together.


    Our lunchtime of chatter turned into another session of sitting on the college wall when lessons were done, and our conversation topics turned from daily life to our pasts. L had a mum who was the opposite to mine in a lot of ways. She was bossy, and shouted at every opportunity about how everyone else was an idiot, including the guys she was seeing then ditching at every opportunity. It sounded like she had an over inted ego, whereas my mum doubted herself through every single breath she took.


    ¡°She screeched down the whole street when she found out and chucked me out. I didn¡¯t even have a bag for my clothes, she just chucked them into the road,¡± she said. ¡°Luckily Pete really did have his door open, otherwise I¡¯d have been pretty much fucked with nowhere to go.¡±


    ¡°She hasn¡¯t spoken to you since?¡±Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    ¡°No, she¡¯s too fucked off. Still says I¡¯m a fucking idiot every chance she gets, no matter how long me and Pete are together, but I¡¯m lucky. She says a lot worse about him.¡± She paused, looking at me as though she was about to share a secret. I didn¡¯t push her, just waited. ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure she had her eye on him herself on the run up to us getting together. He¡¯d always been great to her, and he¡¯s hot. I think she was pretty sure he¡¯d be her next conquest.¡±


    It touched a little close to home, so I shared the parallel. I¡¯d already told L how Julian had saved us from Scottie, but some parts of the tale were still in the dark.


    ¡°My mum definitely wanted Julian. After he stormed in and saved her, she got trashed and went up to his ce with a bottle of wine, but he didn¡¯t let her in.¡±


    L¡¯s mouth dropped. ¡°Shit. She must have been gutted. My mum didn¡¯t have to handle the knockback of putting herself out there, at least.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. She was. It was sad, because I thought he¡¯d make an awesome partner for her. She deserves one. He could have made a fab stepdad.¡±


    ¡°But you got him instead.¡±


    I still felt a sh of guilt at that.


    ¡°Yeah. He wanted me, not her.¡±


    ¡°Just as well, or you¡¯d have been crazy in love with your daddy by now. Talk about daddy issues.¡± She had a point there. ¡°Your mum won¡¯t speak to you now? At all?¡±


    ¡°No. Says she can¡¯t ept it. That he¡¯s disgusting. Probably doesn¡¯t help that she¡¯s got everyone around her saying the same thing.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, wee to my world. Hopefully they¡¯ll be able to turn it around and speak to us again one day, right? I miss Mum. Really, really bad. Even her bitchy shouting.¡±


    I knew the pain in her voice. It gave me a pang of my own. I missed my mum like absolute hell, and I was worried about her. I could feel the fears creeping in a little more every second, about her self-esteem, about Scottie, about how she¡¯d cope for money. About everything. I only hoped Trisha would step up to really support her for once.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think my mum will ever be able to handle me and Julian being together,¡± I said. ¡°I just can¡¯t see it. She was so upset when I saw her the other day.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s early days for you, I guess.¡±


    ¡°Yours has been holding off for over a year, right?¡±


    She shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m still ssing that as early days. I¡¯ll never be able to let go of the hope, you know? Some of my cousins are kind of ok with Pete now, but they¡¯re just kids. They don¡¯t scream how fucked up we are down the street.¡±


    I wondered then if Julian still had hope about his own family, deep down. He¡¯d lost a lot more than we had. He¡¯d lost everything, with no hope of crossing paths with his family, so far away, especially since they didn¡¯t even know where he was. I couldn¡¯t imagine how he¡¯d managed to keep it together, but then remembered he hadn¡¯t. He¡¯d had the stash of overdose pills and goodbye letters ready to go.


    Thank fuck I¡¯d saved him on some level, just as he¡¯d saved me.


    L lit up a cigarette, checking up and down the empty street. The other students were all long gone.


    ¡°Come on, then. Spill. How hot is Julian in the bedroom? You tell me yours, and I¡¯ll tell you mine.¡±


    Iughed. ¡°You might want to tell me yours first, mine can get a little bit¡­ um¡­¡±


    My voice trailed off, and she must have seen the blush on my cheeks.


    ¡°Dirty?¡± she finished. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that. You¡¯re not the only one who likes filthy books, you know. I like filthy art, too. A load of my stuff is NSFW. Pete loves it.¡±


    The relief flooded through me. I¡¯d had no idea how much I¡¯d needed to share the details of my newfound sex life with someone until then. I was stilling to know myself, and getting a glimpse of how far my own sexuality went. I¡¯d never thought my interest in books woulde to life, but it had. I was loving every second. Craving more.


    ¡°Julian¡¯s filthy. Like, really filthy.¡±


    ¡°Whips and chains type filthy, or take it up his ass with a cucumber type filthy? Or both?¡±


    I giggled. ¡°If you mean sub or dom, then he¡¯s definitely dom.¡±


    ¡°Whips and chains?¡±


    ¡°Rope mainly.¡± I had the faint burn marks on my wrists fromst night and pointed them out to her.


    ¡°Nice.¡± She hitched up her skirt to show me a huge purple bruise on the inside of her thigh. ¡°Pete likes pain y. A lot. I like praise. A lot. It¡¯s a greatbination.¡±


    I loved her openness. It made my own so much easier.


    ¡°Julian is a weird blend. On one hand he worships me like I¡¯m like a princess, on the other he likes me to be a filthy little slut for him. He likes writing trash on me in marker pen and fucking my face like I¡¯m a toy.¡±


    Sheughed. ¡°That¡¯s a greatbination. Maybe he and Peter can exchange notes.¡±


    I opted to share some more.


    ¡°He¡¯s started writing again. Filthy stuff. Last night I got in and he¡¯d written a hardcore scene that blew my mind crazy, and I wanted it.¡±


    ¡°You acted it out?¡±


    I nodded. ¡°Yeah. It was one of those, umm¡­ stretch your pussy scenes.¡±


    ¡°Wow! Did he fist you?¡±


    She sounded so natural with it, it was amazing to hear.


    ¡°No. He actually used a whisk. He wanted to look inside.¡±


    She raised her eyebrows, stubbed her cigarette out and gave me a high five.


    ¡°Holy shit, that¡¯s fucking hot. He should publish that. People would be buying whisks all over the world.¡±


    Iughed. ¡°It was pretty hot.¡±


    ¡°Did it hurt?¡±


    ¡°A bit. This morning.¡±


    ¡°Did he use the whisk after? For food?¡± Sheughed. ¡°Please tell me he did.¡±


    I shot her a side nce, unable to hold back my grin.


    ¡°We both did.¡±


    ¡°Nice work. Just please don¡¯t use it straight after fuck y when wee over for dinner. Not sure Pete will want Julian¡¯s cum over the top of his ice cream sundae.¡±


    She cracked me up, both of usughing like schoolgirls, which was epic, since I hadn¡¯t felt like I could be one in years.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± I told her. ¡°I¡¯ll make sure we¡¯re well behaved. I¡¯ll hide the marker pens, too.¡±


    She reached in her bag, pulling out herptop and bncing it on herp. She switched it on and clicked straight into a directory, and she hadn¡¯t been lying with NSFW artwork. Her stuff was fierce, and filthy. The girls were bound like whores being taken by beasts of men, and all of them looked incredible. She was a master at illustration.


    ¡°Think Julian will want a book cover one day?¡± she asked.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think that would make it onto a book cover, somehow.¡±


    ¡°It might if I put less emphasis on bare tits and gaping pussy.¡±


    ¡°Cock, too.¡±


    ¡°Damnit, losing the cock would be a crime. Maybe I should put a whisk on it instead.¡± Sheughed. ¡°But seriously, I¡¯d love to read some of his filth, honestly. Think he¡¯ll let me?¡±


    ¡°You can ask him on Saturday.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I will. I can¡¯t wait to see what he looks like in person. I¡¯ve got an idea in my head. One of the posh billionaire types. I¡¯ve drawn quite a few of them.¡±


    I wished I had some photos of Julian so she couldpare the vision with the reality. I was confident he¡¯d live up to it. Salt and pepper brilliance, with his gorgeous green eyes and his smile.


    I needed to take some pictures of him, and I¡¯d known it for days. I hadn¡¯t done so far, because, I dunno, it felt so early. But I should do. I would start doing it. In the meantime, I only had the ones of him online, so I opted to show her some. I fished in my bag for my phone, but it was lost in the depths. I barely looked at it anymore now that Mum wasn¡¯t in touch with me, so I hadn¡¯t even noticed. It must be buried at the bottom, under my notebooks. Damnit, I hadn¡¯t even thought to check the time on my phone, but it prompted L to look at hers.


    ¡°Fuck, it¡¯s nearly seven. We should go. I¡¯ve got dinner to get on. Pete will be starving.¡±


    ¡°Seven?! Yeah, shit. Time¡¯s run away.¡±


    She packed herptop back up as I was still searching for my phone, thinking I should send Julian a message to say I wasing. I didn¡¯t find my phone, though. I found something else first. An envelope wedged between two notebooks, right at the bottom. I opened my bag wide enough to see it. It had a scrawl on the front, Julian¡¯s handwriting, and it was sealed tight.


    For you, sweetheart. No protests, please.


    That could only mean one thing. I could feel the wad of notes in there.


    I didn¡¯t open it right then, just shoved it back in my bag and set off with L, finally fishing out my phone and messaging Julian as we walked. I¡¯ll be home soon xx


    L and I separated with a hug this time, and I waved her up the street, my heart pounding as I reached the nearest tree and propped myself against it, checking the contents of the envelope while making sure I was out of anyone¡¯s view.


    He¡¯d put four hundred in there, way more than a week¡¯s worth of wages, and it welled me up, conflicted. A big part of me didn¡¯t want to take it, because he did more than enough for me already, and I was his lover, not his employee, but the other part knew it was necessary. Without my pizza house shifts I hardly had any money left in my ount. It would run out soon, and I¡¯d be without a penny, unable to buy anything I needed on my own.


    That wasn¡¯t purely it, though. There was more to it than that.


    I was torn about more than just the financial effect my job loss was having on me as I walked back to our block. My legs were shaking by the time I reached the main entrance, worried as to whether I was making the right decision, but fuck it. I pressed myself into the alcove to the side of the door and used one of my hairbands to bind some of the cash together, counting out the usual amount I¡¯d hand over to my mum. She¡¯d be needing it, especially with Trisha taking her down the pub to ease her woes. I tore out a page of my notebook and wrote her a simple message.


    This is for you. To help. I love you. x


    The floor was empty when I stepped up to the front door I¡¯d called home for ever. I was able to push the money and the note through the letterbox with nobody hearing, and thank fuck for that, because it meant that Mum was probably at her work shift. I just hoped that she was ok.


    I prayed that she was ok.


    I¡¯d give anything to see her again. To speak to her again. To watch shit TV and drink tea with her again.


    Anything except Julian.


    I was welled up with tears when I opened my new front door, caught up in a crazybination of different emotions, all piling up together. Gratitude, relief, the loss of my mum at odds with the happiness of finding L, and my love for him. Julian. The man pulling me into his arms like I was his world.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± I said to him, through the tears, and he knew exactly what I was talking about.


    He held me even tighter, nting a kiss on my head as I cried against his shirt.


    ¡°It¡¯s yet another time you don¡¯t need to say thank you, sweetheart. You deserve it. The pleasure is all mine.¡±

 Chapter 132

    JULIAN


    I wasn¡¯t surprised that rosie was overwhelmed, given the huge turnaround her life had taken, but out of all the things she was feeling, gratitude didn¡¯t need to be one of them. I tried to convey that as best as I could.


    She calmed down quickly, and it was another glimpse at just howposed my princess was for a girl who was just eighteen years old. It was both beautiful and tragic. I could only imagine the years she¡¯d spent in much bigger shoes than the ones she should have been wearing.


    ¡°Did you write a chapter today?¡± she asked, and I directed her to myptop, in its usual spot at the dining table.


    ¡°Indeed, I did.¡±


    If only she knew the half of it. I¡¯d written one hell of a lot more than a single chapter, but the content wasn¡¯t ready for her eyes. Not yet.


    She took her seat and I took mine next to her as she dug into the chapter onscreen. This scene was based on one of our true to life ones, of her spread for me, stretched and bound by rope while I teased her ass and pussy at the same time, her legs high against her chest as she moaned like a whore. I¡¯d been incredibly descriptive of her. As she read, she blushed, looking shy.


    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe you see me like this,¡± she said. ¡°You make me sound so stunning and hot. It¡¯s crazy.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s true, not crazy. It¡¯s exactly how I see you, and exactly as you are.¡±


    ¡°Stop it. You¡¯ll make me blush.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re already blushing, sweetheart. It¡¯s adorable.¡±


    The kinkiness shone in her eyes at that, my words clearly having an impact.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I want to be adorable right now, I want to be your slut, like I am right here, on the pages.¡±


    She didn¡¯t get any argument from me. My cock did the talking, recreating the scene over the coffee table while she moaned like the bitch I¡¯d portrayed her as, the word SLUT in capital letters right the way across her tits.


    My goddess still had the word disyed proudly as I smoked my post coital cigarette. She sat back down at the table and read the scene a second time over, with my cum still dripping out of her asshole. I¡¯d spurted a lot inside her. Her ass was wee to it today, since I really needed to hold back from filling her pussy up at every opportunity. Ovtion calendars only work so well, and good fortune wouldn¡¯tst for ever. Thest thing Rosie needed on her journey was a baby in the mix before she¡¯d even hit her twenties. I wanted to redress the responsibilities she¡¯d faced through her life, not add more to them.


    ¡°L and Peter areing here on Saturday? For dinner?¡± I asked as we ate my chicken pae a short whileter. ¡°They are sure they want to visit us, and not head out?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, very sure. They¡¯re looking forward to it. They definitely want toe here.¡±


    ¡°Fine. Then they are very wee.¡±


    I understood Peter¡¯s reservations about public life all too well. I wouldn¡¯t have wanted to step out within a sixty-mile radius of Oxford once the world heard of my character deficiencies. I could handle being with Rosie in public throughout Worcester, because the emotional impact was on her in hermunity, not on me, but for a guy like Peter, who sounded as though he¡¯d been bred, born and raised in the same street in Dine¡¯s Green over forty years ago, the condemnation must have taken its toll.


    Their uing appearance did bring some other considerations to mind. I cast my eyes around our home, and it reinforced just how threadbare it was. I¡¯d only ever nned that my residence would be short-lived. I¡¯d added newmps, cushions, bedding and kitchen utensils, yes, but everything else remained the same. Battered and bare.


    Rosie was beginning to read my mind.


    ¡°They won¡¯t give a shit about this ce. They won¡¯t expect to be walking into the Ritz.¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯m sure they won¡¯t, but there is quite a gulf.¡±


    ¡°Honestly, they won¡¯t care.¡±


    She was almost certainly right, but my own sense of pride was returning, all thanks to her. I wanted to show some of the facets of myself I¡¯d long given up on. It felt as though it was time to take the next step in getting my life in order  since I¡¯d now be living one. I wanted to be a good host, in an environment well taken care of.


    I made Rosie porridge before she left for college next morning, but rather than call up my WIP, I started browsing online. I¡¯d never been a wizard of t pack furniture. In fact, my efforts would likely look considerably worse than the furniture I¡¯d picked up from charity stores, so I browsed through some more high-end catalogues. Katreya would have been proud of my tastes, if she didn¡¯t hate my filthy soul.


    We still had a few days before L and Peter¡¯s visit on the weekend, and many of the items had next-day delivery avability, so I had a potential purchase list ready for Rosie¡¯s perusal when she arrived home that evening.


    ¡°What¡¯s this, no chapter?¡± she asked as she sat her pretty butt down on the seat.


    ¡°There will be a chapter toe, but take a look at this first, please. I¡¯d like your opinions and your thumbs up or down.¡±


    She scrolled through, everything from a new dining table, to arge TV and surround sound, to a full three seater sofa suite. New crockery, and kitchen appliances. Even a master of a vintage wall clock and a gorgeous new rug for the floor.


    ¡°You really want all this?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Yes, I do. I want to create a home. With you.¡±


    ¡°This is already a home,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t need you to dress it up, I promise. And neither will L and Pete.¡±This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    Her attempts to reassure me were beautiful, but unnecessary. From a selfishness perspective, I was looking forward to embracing the apartment changes for myself as well as for her. I must have conveyed that in my eyes. I needed this.


    ¡°Fine, cool,¡± she said, scrolling through the items afresh. ¡°They¡¯re all absolutely amazing. There¡¯s just one thing I don¡¯t like.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s that, princess?¡±


    She pointed to the beautiful new leather chesterfield I¡¯d selected.


    ¡°Can we please keep the old one?¡±


    I chuckled, and shot the old one a nce. It was ufortable as hell.


    ¡°Really? You want to keep that thing?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s sentimental, don¡¯t you think? I love it, even though it¡¯s crappy to sit on.¡±


    I looked it over once more, and sure enough, I felt it too. The first time we¡¯d talked on there, and fucked on there, and shared pizza. So many memories already. I tried to engage my spatial awareness, considering whether we could add another small sofa to the room, rather than straight out rece our sweet old obsolete one, and I believed we could do. Just about. We¡¯d need some more seats if we were having visitors.


    ¡°Let¡¯s keep it, then. We¡¯ll just make a little addition,¡± I said, and switched out the chesterfield choice onscreen to one a little smaller. ¡°Anything else?¡±


    She shook her head, eyes glowing. ¡°It¡¯s going to be insane, how great this ce looks. I¡¯ll be too nervous to touch anything.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s thest thing I¡¯ll be wanting. I want you to feel asfortable as can be. You can piss all over the new coffee table as soon as it arrives for all I care.¡± I touched her face. ¡°And this is just the beginning. The bare essentials.¡±


    ¡°The bare essentials are all right here in this room,¡± she told me. ¡°Me, you, and the old sofa.¡±


    Iughed. ¡°I think we¡¯d need to count the kitchen in that shortlist as well, sweetheart. Unless you wanted to starve to death in my arms on the chesterfield.¡±


    ¡°Would be a good way to go.¡±


    She had a point there. It would be a considerably better way to check out of existence than alone with a pile of pills.


    So, I ordered the selection, with urgent, premium delivery times right through the week, and every day my goddess would jump with joy and admire the differences to our apartment when she¡¯d get back from college. It made every single purchase ideal, and bit by bit, the ce began to look like a real abode, not just a shambles disguised as one.


    Deliveries weren¡¯t the only things I was basing my schedule upon. Around those, while Rosie was busy with college, fucking, eating, sleeping and riling me with tales of romance novels she¡¯d been reading, I found the time to take some other necessary steps towards life building.

 Chapter 133

    I looked through car dealerships online, and on Friday afternoon I took a taxi to one in particr that had taken my fancy. I didn¡¯t want something Oxford style extravagant, just something nice, and reliable, that would get Rosie and I around the country, to explore more than the dereliction of this crappy estate and the modest size of Worcester city centre.


    Getting into the old Ford and taking it for a test drive months after having abandoned my vehicle at home was quite an experience. I had no idea how much I¡¯d missed it. I had the vendor at my side pointing out the benefits, but Irgely ignored him, tuned in to just how good it felt to be on the road again. I couldn¡¯t wait to take Rosie out in it.


    The deal was already sealed, the paperwork was just a necessity. I drove back to the apartment block and took advantage of themunal parking spaces, admiring the silver car as I walked away. It was nice. Well worth the money, unlike a load of the superficial monsters I¡¯d had over the years.


    Rosie was all set to read another chapter when she got in that evening. She definitely wasn¡¯t expecting me to be standing in the hallway awaiting her, jangling the car keys in my hand.


    ¡°It was about time I got one,¡± I told her. ¡°Nothing too wild, just a decent mode of transport.¡±


    ¡°Let me see!¡±


    I took her down to the parking area and opened the passenger door for her. She got in with a squeal as though it was a limo I was about to take her for a drive in, and it put a smile on my face as I put my foot down on the elerator and pulled away from the block. I drove straight out of the city and headed through Malvern towards Much Arlock, a little town I¡¯d heard plenty of good things about. The rumours weren¡¯t wrong. It was lovely. A quaint ce with a Tudor market house on huge ck stilts. There was a lovely looking hotel opposite, and I opted for that, parking up in the street outside.


    ¡°I¡¯m not dressed for this,¡± she said, but I grinned at her, heading around to open the passenger door. She looked absolutely great as she was, with a pretty, blue summer dress on and white sneakers, her hair swept up in a high pony. It was only when we reached the bar that it became obvious just how big the age gap was for onlookers. The barmaid looked taken aback when Rosie leant in to kiss my neck and take hold of my arm, but I brushed that aside along with the screaming memories of Katreya and Grace looking at me like I was a piece of shit, worthy of roasting in hell.


    Much Arlock was quite busy on a Friday night. We got a table for two by the window at the restaurant, talking quietly amidst the thrum in the restaurant and gazing at the street outside.


    It was a world away from Crenham, and very different to the city of Oxford. The contrast was a wee relief. Something fresh, and new, like the beautiful creature sitting opposite me with a ss of wine in her hand.N?vel(D)rama.Org''s content.


    Having a car had other benefits alongside transport. It would stop me drinking.


    I was sipping on soda water, immune to the call of whisky. Tonight, at least, that immunity was enough to see me through.


    ¡°I¡¯ve never done anything like this before,¡± Rosie said as she finished up her chocte fudge cake. ¡°Nobody has ever taken me out like this.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m pleased to be your first.¡±


    If my sensitivity to the way some of the guys were shooting nces in her direction was anything to go by, I¡¯d be pleased to be herst, also. The very idea of another man sitting opposite my angel for a romantic dinner was enough to churn over the freshly eaten steak in my guts.


    The roads were beautifully lit as we made our return to the dregs of our usual life. Every mile on the return felt like a travesty, as though neither of us belonged there. I was tempted to turn the car around and seek out somewhere else for us right there in the moment, but I remembered the hurt in Rosie¡¯s eyes at the thought of ever leaving her mother. I couldn¡¯t do that to her. When and if it was time to leave Crenham would be Rosie¡¯s decision to make. In the meantime, Crenham would have to do.


    It was dark when we arrived back at the apartment and opened the door. I reached inside for the light switch, and something scuffed against my shoe as I stepped on in. I bent down to pick up the roll of cash, bound up in what looked like a hair tie. I was pondering over it when I saw Rosie¡¯s expression. She choked back a sob as she tried to keep her voice steady.


    ¡°That must be from my mum.¡± She took the cash from my hand, staring at it in horror. ¡°I put some through her letterbox, because I knew she¡¯d be struggling with the bills, and I wanted her to be safe, and I wanted her to keep taking my help¡­ but she doesn¡¯t want it¡­ now she¡¯s got paid she¡¯s giving it back, but she must need it, though. She must.¡±


    I followed the thread and pulled Rosie close. It wasn¡¯t about the money, of course, it was about what it symbolised. A rejection of help. A rejection of love.


    ¡°She doesn¡¯t want it, because she doesn¡¯t want me,¡± Rosie cried, and I could have cursed out loud at her poor kind heart being broken.


    ¡°It¡¯s not that she doesn¡¯t want you, sweetheart, it¡¯s that she¡¯s angry at me.¡±


    ¡°I was angry at Scott too, and a whole load of the other pricks she was with over the years, but I didn¡¯t push her away because of it, did I? I still loved her.¡±


    ¡°And she still loves you. She just can¡¯t ept me. You¡¯re her little girl. Little being the key word here.¡±


    Rosie pulled away from me and wiped the tears from her eyes. She took a deep breath and her gaze changed from sorrow to strength, right before me.


    ¡°We¡¯ll see how much she loves me then, won¡¯t we? Because I¡¯m not letting you go. If Mum really loves me, she¡¯s going to have to love you, too.¡±


    With that, she headed on into our living room and dropped her pretty butt down on our treasured chesterfield. She patted the seat beside her.


    ¡°I mean it, Julian. This is my home now. You are my home. And if Mum wants toe and visit us, she can do, it¡¯s just one flight of stairs. But I¡¯m not running back down to my old life there. I couldn¡¯t do it, even if I wanted to. You¡¯re way too important.¡±


    I sat down next to her and took her hand in mine, very, very relieved at her words.


    Rosie wasn¡¯t the only one who couldn¡¯t head back to her old life. Mine was already burned to dust for all time. There was no doubt about it. My instincts had been right all along.


    If my angel Rosie turned her back on me now, I¡¯d do nothing but rot in hell.

 Chapter 134

    ROSIE


    I¡¯D seen pictures of peter, but people always seem to look different in person. He was short, and thick set, with huge shoulders and some really impressive biceps on him showing through his t-shirt. His eyes were a lovely deep blue and his stubble was rough, which suited him. I¡¯d heard plenty of stories about how fun he was from L, and how loud hisugh was, but I could tell as he shook Julian¡¯s hand that he was anxious, as though he was at a job interview rather thaning to hang out with some new friends. I saw then what L had been talking about. The world of Dine¡¯s Green must have put him through a hell of a lot of judgement and heartache.


    Julian tried to make him feel right at home as soon as we¡¯d made our introductions and L had pulled me in for a hug. L was the counter to him right now, excited and buzzing,menting on how cool everything was as she stepped into our living room.


    ¡°I love your sofa!¡± she said, pointing to our old one, and I grinned at her. ¡°Me too.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not all that great to sit on,¡± Julian chuckled.


    ¡°Can I try it out?¡± L asked, and Julian gestured with a smile.


    ¡°Be our guest, since you are one.¡±


    She dropped down and bounced her butt on it, rearranging the brocade cushions behind her as Peter hovered, awkward, watching her. He was beaming, though. She had him transfixed as a partner, and that was obvious. No surprise though, as she looked amazing, with two braids, tied up with purple ribbon. Her dress was purple to match, and she had big ck boots on, at odds with her long, skinny legs. She always looked fantastic. No wonder Peter had gone crazy for her. For her looks as well as her mind.


    ¡°This sofa is absolutely great,¡± L said. ¡°You¡¯re being harsh.¡±


    ¡°Most likely,¡± Julian replied, and then he pped Peter kindly on the shoulder. ¡°What would you like? Tea? Coffee? Wine? Whisky? How about you, L? What can I get for you?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll have a wine if there¡¯s one going, please,¡± she said.


    ¡°Of course. Red or white?¡±


    ¡°White, please.¡±


    Julian looked at Peter again, and I adored the way his eyes were so caring, trying his best to put our new friend at ease. ¡°And you, Peter?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll have a whisky, please.¡±


    ¡°And wine for you, sweetheart?¡± Julian asked me, knowing full well I¡¯d say yes. I wasing to enjoy it more and more.


    He walked over to the kitchen and invited Peter to apany him to choose from the selection of whiskies he had on the shelf. I sat next to L and grinned at her. It felt weird but amazing to have visitors in this ce. The first time it had ever happened.


    ¡°Julian¡¯s really hot,¡± she whispered. ¡°He¡¯s not all that far off from one of the cover guys. I could make a really good version of him. He¡¯s going to age even better. Grey hair will really suit him.¡±


    It would, yeah. He was in his usual kind of suit, and no matter how many times I saw him in them, they always drove me crazy. He was looking less lean in them now. Filling out nicely  no doubt because of the fantastic dinners he was sharing with me.


    ¡°Peter looks great, too,¡± I told her. ¡°He¡¯s got that rough kind of stubble which makes him look hardcore.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s always hardcore, and he always looks great, but he¡¯s so edgy tonight. Kind of assumes everyone judges him and hates him wherever he goes. He¡¯s not like it at all when it¡¯s just me and him. He¡¯s funny and confident, and a beast in the bedroom, and it¡¯s so shit to see the effect the world has on him. It¡¯s like he feels he¡¯s some kind of criminal, even now.¡±


    I knew what she was talking about. I could still feel the sense down deep in Julian that he saw himself as a pervert who didn¡¯t deserve anything nice in life anymore, but he wasing to terms with it. Slowly. I could see him glowing a little bit brighter every day, people¡¯s stares deflected more easily. But Julian¡¯s story around here was different. He¡¯d been through much worse than here when he was cast out and banished from Oxford. Crenham was just the dessert after a mega rancid main course. To Peter, Dine¡¯s Green must still mean a lot. Everything.


    ¡°Do you ever think about moving away and starting over?¡± I asked her.


    ¡°Yeah, we¡¯ve talked about it, a lot, but I don¡¯t want to leave Mum. And college. It¡¯s just not right yet.¡±


    I heard someughter from the kitchen from both Julian and Peter, and Peter seemed a little morefortable when they came back through to the living room. Julian handed over our wines before sitting down on our new sofa to the side.


    ¡°Cheers to us,¡± Julian said. ¡°Partners in crime, the whole sorry group of us.¡±


    ¡°Here¡¯s to friends, finally. Or I hope so,¡± L said in return, and looked over at Peter, sitting happily alongside Julian.


    It didn¡¯t take long to find out that we could very much be friends, all four of us. Conversation flowed easily for two couples who¡¯d only just met. L shared Julian¡¯s dry, sarcastic sense of humour and they wereughing like they¡¯d known each other for years within minutes, and that loosened Peter up, loads, I could see it. I chipped in withughter andments, but I loved being an observer. I stared at my partner enjoying himself socially, and got my first real insight into how he must have been in Oxford, before his life fell apart. He was socially charming, and confident, curious and interested in what people were saying. It made my heart glow.


    And it made my heart glow more when I saw the way Peter¡¯s shoulders loosened as he shared stories, and the way L was grinning at him so happily. And it made my heart glow when she squeezed my knee, acknowledging in one simple gesture that things were going well.


    ¡°Time to get the steaks on,¡± Julian said after a while, and he gave Peter another p on the shoulder as he got up. ¡°Fancy joining me? We can try another whisky while it sizzles.¡±


    ¡°Sure thing. I¡¯ll peel the spuds, if you like.¡±


    L turned to me the moment they were out of view.


    ¡°This is epic, thank you. Seriously, I haven¡¯t seen him like this when we¡¯re out since it all blew up. It¡¯s great to see him chill. He needs it.¡±


    ¡°So does Julian.¡±Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDra/ma.O(r)g!


    ¡°What about you?¡± she asked. ¡°You must need it, too. You¡¯re getting loads of shit too around here.¡±


    I shrugged as I got a revtion. I was getting loads of shit, sure, but I wasn¡¯t feeling it driving into my ribcage anymore. I barely noticed the whispers at college, and everyone could fuck off if they jeered at me on the way home. I¡¯d never really given a toss about what anyone thought, because I didn¡¯t really get on with anyone. I didn¡¯t care about anyone. Not outside of Mum. Finally, being an unpopr loner had its benefits.


    ¡°I¡¯m alright actually,¡± I said. ¡°I just hate being without Mum.¡±


    ¡°Your family is pretty small, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°My family is just Mum. Or it was, before Julian came along.¡± I took another sip of wine. ¡°So, there you go. Nobody to give a stuff about. I¡¯m the lucky one out of the lot of us.¡±


    ¡°What about Jayden? Scottie¡¯s son? You cared about him, didn¡¯t you?¡± I did get a pang at that. An oversight.


    ¡°He¡¯s keeping his distance. He probably despises me now his dad¡¯s gone.¡±


    ¡°I bet he misses him. No matter what his dad did. I mean, his dad is his dad, right? I hope that my mum still loves me under the surface, no matter what choices I¡¯ve made. And you must feel the same about yours. So, Jayden is going to miss his dad, isn¡¯t he? No matter what an utter piece of shit he is.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±

 Chapter 135

    She was right on that. Scottie could have set the world on fire, and Jayden¡¯s loyalty would never fade. It could be buried, and fought, and Jayden could kick and scream, and tell his dad what an utter asshole he was, but it wouldn¡¯t stop the love. Jayden would always forgive him.


    I only hoped it would be the same for L and me. And for Peter, too. I hoped family always came back. Loyal, even when they hated the choices we¡¯d made.


    And what about Julian?


    I got a tickle of unease at that thought. Like a ghost of a wave up my back.


    ¡°What?¡± L said, reading me.


    ¡°I was just wondering,¡± I said, with the wine loosening my tongue. ¡°Since we¡¯re so hopeful that our families will forgive us one day, surely Julian must be, too.¡±


    ¡°I would guess so. He must miss them like hell. He has kids, and a granddaughter. Didn¡¯t you say he has a brother, too?¡±


    ¡°Michael, yeah.¡±


    ¡°Has he reached out to them?¡±


    I shook my head. ¡°I don¡¯t think so. Not that I know of. He doesn¡¯t think there¡¯s any point, because they¡¯ll never forgive him. He was never going to forgive himself.¡±


    ¡°But then he met you. And he¡¯s feeling a bit different now. He must be. He looks really happy. You should be proud.¡±


    That made me grin, happy that I¡¯d been able to help him feel happy like that. ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re right. I do feel proud.¡±Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    ¡°Do you think he¡¯ll try reaching out to them, now that he¡¯s feeling a bit better? The worst they can do is shout and scream some more.¡± I got another tickle again, like a ghost as she carried on talking.


    ¡°Imagine how much easier things would be for him if they ever did forgive him. Oxford might wee him back, eventually. One day.¡±


    I had a weird contradiction in my gut at that. I¡¯d be ecstatic for him, I really would, but if he had that kind of choice¡­ to return to Oxford and his life there¡­ or stay here, in Crenham, with me¡­ which would he choose? Would his family ever be able to ept him being with me, even if they did forgive him? I doubted that. But if he left me. If he chose them¡­


    Would I want him to choose them? Could I be that selfless?


    I¡¯d always hoped Mum would choose me over her partners. Maybe Julian¡¯s children would feel like that, too¡­


    L seemed to sense my nerves.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. He¡¯s not going to ditch you. No way. He¡¯s absolutely besotted with you. You can see it. He looks at you like you¡¯re his meaning for living.¡±


    That hit a nerve, remembering the goodbye letters.


    ¡°Right now, I guess I am.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s going to fade any time this century.¡±


    ¡°It definitely isn¡¯t going to change for me.¡± I smiled. ¡°He¡¯s so amazing, I don¡¯t know what I¡¯d do without him.¡±


    She leant in close, with a giggle. ¡°Put your own whisk inside you?¡±


    Iughed with a shh. ¡°I don¡¯t think it would feel the same somehow. I won¡¯t be trying it.¡±


    ¡°I might be trying it with a whisk,¡± she said. ¡°You inspired me. And Peter, too. He said it sounded hot as fuck.¡±


    It felt bizarre in that moment, Peter being here, knowing Julian and I intimately enough to be able to imagine me spread open on this very sofa with a whisk stretching my pussy open. But then, was it? Was it that weird for friends? I hadn¡¯t any experience to judge it by.


    I knew a billion things about what Peter had done to L. Handcuffing her and whipping her with a cable. pping her thighs over and over with a wooden paddle. I wondered if she had bruises up her thighs tonight. I had marker pen on mine under my dress, spelling out dirty bitch.


    I listened out some more to the conversation from the kitchen. The words were nothing but mumbles, but theughter wasn¡¯t. L was right. Peter¡¯sugh was loud, and definitely getting more confident.


    L took a swig of her wine before she spoke next.


    ¡°Think Julian will let me read some of his chapters after dinner? I¡¯d love that.¡±


    ¡°Hopefully. Ask him after he¡¯s had a few more whiskies.¡±


    ¡°Does he doubt his writing that much? That he wouldn¡¯t want to show it off? He didn¡¯t want to show you the thrillers at first, did he?¡±


    ¡°No, not at first. But he¡¯s getting more used to handing over his writing for me to take a look at. He¡¯s getting more proud of his work. I see it every day.¡±


    ¡°Is he writing other stuff as well, or just the dirty scenes for you?¡±


    I¡¯d been wondering about that. He always had one chapter written for me after college, without fail, but I know what he¡¯d said before, when talking about the writing process. He said it ate you up a lot of the time when the words started flowing, and they wouldn¡¯t stop. You were possessed for hours. I¡¯m sure one chapter that good would take a long time to get so perfect, but I didn¡¯t know¡­ I just felt like there might be something more he wasn¡¯t showing me yet¡­ maybe another thriller. Who knew?


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯d love him to try publishing again. His work is too good not to.¡± ¡°Thrillers?¡±


    ¡°I guess so.¡±


    ¡°Or dirtier? Erotica?¡±


    I smirked. ¡°He¡¯d be an absolute beast at erotica.¡±


    ¡°Hopefully I¡¯ll find out for myselfter. He doesn¡¯t seem shy. Not around us, anyway.¡±


    When I heard another of Peter¡¯sfortable roars ofughter from the kitchen, and Julian¡¯s chuckle alongside it, and the clink of a fresh toast of whisky, I was pretty sure she would get to read some of it.


    I couldn¡¯t wait to see her reaction.

 Chapter 136

    JULIAN


    PETER was quite at odds with the people i¡¯d known back in oxford. Katreya and I had usually associated with business colleagues, and outside of that I¡¯d had my circle of university friends, who¡¯d been raised in the same kind of educational background. The contrast was palpable.


    Peter was grounded, very down to earth, with a battered self-image that I recognised in myself. I liked him.


    He peeled potatoes while I herbed up the steaks. His hands were huge and rugged, unlike mine. My hands had never seen what Peter would call hard graft, much more suited to a keyboard than anythingbour intensive. Amidst ourughter and chatting, my mind whirred through the things Rosie had shared with me about his rtionship with L.


    I knew Peter was as sex-obsessed as I was. Well¡­ almost. I also knew he was an extremely rough yer, and that L had taken his entire hand in her sweet little pussy.


    ¡°Do these look alright?¡± Peter asked as he finished up cutting the potatoes into chunks.


    ¡°Perfect, thank you.¡±


    ¡°Got to admit, L does the cooking, usually. She learned it from her mum.¡±


    I used that as the opportunity to dig into their dilemma.


    ¡°How does L handle being without her mother? I know she and Rosie have shared some simr emotions on that front.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s shit,¡± he said. ¡°Can¡¯t help but me myself. I¡¯ve tried talking to Steph to smooth things over, but she won¡¯t have any of it. Screams that I¡¯m a sick fuck and ms the door in my face. L doesn¡¯t get it much easier.¡±


    ¡°Do you think that will ever change?¡±


    ¡°Gotta hope, haven¡¯t you? Don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever be invited over for a Sunday roast, but if Steph finally speaks to L again, I¡¯ll be a very happy guy. She needs that.¡±


    I knew that Rosie shared that need. She needed contact from her mother, too. I¡¯d been holding her through plenty of tears, even though she was trying to y it down. I knew being away from Beverly was stabbing her deep in the heart, as it would any young woman losing her parent. Or any child losing their parent.


    A shing image of Grace and Ryan came to me that I had to push aside. Hard.


    Peter liked drinking whisky, as did I. We tried a few different blends after delivering the girls the rest of the bottle of wine to the coffee table. It was clear Peter was seeking a friend in me, just as I was unknowingly seeking out a friend in return. He stayed alongside me as I began to fry the potatoes, even taking care of them himself while his partner and I shared a cigarette out of the window.


    ¡°L said you¡¯re an author,¡± Peter said, when I returned to the kitchen.


    I chuckled. ¡°A wannabe author. I had a massive pile of rejection letters when I was younger, and gave up when I became a lecturer. Limited time and a bigger dose of realism.¡±


    ¡°I used to draw when I was younger. I was normally busy helping my dad out on jobs around school, but when I wasn¡¯t, I¡¯d get a sketchbook and do some scribbling. It was all shit, but I liked it.¡± He paused. ¡°L says your writing is great, though.¡±


    I chuckled again. ¡°L hasn¡¯t read any of my writing. She¡¯s heard that second hand from Rosie, who is very biased.¡±


    ¡°Will you let her read some of it? She¡¯s been harping on about it for days.¡±


    A few whiskies had definitely helped lighten me up. The idea seemed more appealing than I¡¯d anticipated.


    ¡°Maybe. It¡¯s quite extreme.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯ll like that. She likes it extreme.¡±


    ¡°So I¡¯ve heard. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve heard the same in return.¡±


    I saw him look at the whisk in the utensils pot, and yes, he knew. L enjoyed talking to Peter, just as Rosie enjoyed talking to me.


    ¡°People say I¡¯m a nasty freak,¡± Peter sighed. ¡°They¡¯d think I was a lot nastier a freak if they knew the full story. They¡¯d say I¡¯m a filthy piece of shit.¡±


    ¡°Rosie has helped me a lot with self-reflection. She asked some key basic questions about my past that couldn¡¯t help but hit home. I¡¯ll grace you with her wisdom. Is it consensual? With L?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, of course, always. Totally.¡±


    ¡°And she¡¯s legal age. She knows her own mind?¡±


    Heughed. ¡°Yeah, she definitely knows her own mind.¡±


    ¡°There you go, then. You aren¡¯t a criminal.¡±


    He watched me take another swig of whisky before I resumed stirring the potatoes.


    ¡°Do you believe that now? That what you did was right? Back in Oxford, I mean. Not just here.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m trying to, but regardless of the answers to those key questions, it was an abuse of professional power, and I was a married man. They are very different circumstances to yours.¡± I looked at him in honesty. ¡°The people in Dine¡¯s Green are after you purely because of the age gap between you and L. Brush it off. You¡¯ve fallen for her, she¡¯s fallen for you. You shouldn¡¯t be a convict. You were neighbours who fell in love.¡±


    ¡°I love your take on it.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s true. My crimes are tenfold of yours.¡±


    ¡°Maybe in the past. Not with Rosie, though. Same scenario. Here it¡¯s just about the age gap. You were neighbours who fell in love.¡±


    I smirked, repeating his sentiment. ¡°I love your take on it.¡±


    ¡°Maybe we should take each other¡¯s take on it, then.¡±


    ¡°Quite.¡±


    He was correct. I didn¡¯t judge Peter and L¡¯s rtionship as anything other than arge age gap that people had an aversion to. Was my own situation any different in this instance? No. It wasn¡¯t.


    ¡°Rosie¡¯s really cute,¡± Peter said. ¡°L¡¯s been singing her praises every five seconds.¡±


    ¡°Same in return. Rosie¡¯s had plenty of nice things to say about L. I¡¯m very happy for them. She¡¯s an artist, yes? Rosie¡¯s seen some of her work. She says it¡¯s exceptional.¡±


    ¡°It is, yeah. She¡¯s fantastic, always blows me away. She takes in every single thing she can from art college and makes it a bloody masterpiece. I just wish I¡¯d done the same when I was her age. I might still be shit, but I¡¯d have had a chance at getting better.¡±


    ¡°Do you still give it a go?¡±


    ¡°Sometimes. I show L most of it, but some bits I don¡¯t.¡±


    I knew that feeling. It was another round of mutual territory between us.


    The girlsughed loudly enough from the living room that we heard them over the steaks sizzling. Peter grinned as he heard it.


    ¡°Thanks for having us here, seriously. It¡¯s ace. Just what we needed.¡±


    ¡°Touche. You¡¯re very wee.¡±


    I looked at him once I¡¯d flipped the steaks again, imagining how freeing it would be to see Peter and L out in public together without the confines of the estate that had boxed them in. Not in Crenham, with the same judgemental attitude, but far away. Somewhere more cosmopolitan.


    Maybe I could arrange some time away, for all four of us. I¡¯d talk to Rosie about it.


    Dinner was a delight. The drink flowed and the steaks were devoured, and Peter smiled proudly as I told L what a fantastic chef¡¯s assistant he¡¯d been.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be remembering that,¡± she giggled, gesturing at him with her wine ss. ¡°You¡¯ve made a rod for your own back, now. You can be peeling potatoes in the kitchen with me.¡±


    Somehow I doubted it would be a rod for his own back he¡¯d be making. I could already see the hunger he had in his eyes for the little minx sitting opposite him. His sexuality was definitely a beast, enlivened by the whisky, as was mine. Rosie was shooting me nces of her own, and it was clear that the girls had been talking dirtily about us while we¡¯d been busy in the kitchen. The sexual tension was intense. I knew the question wasing from Rosie before she even spoke.N?vel(D)rama.Org''s content.


    ¡°Can L read some of your chapters, Julian? She¡¯d really like to.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I would. Please,¡± L chimed in. ¡°I love that kind of thing.¡±


    ¡°Filthy erotica, you mean?¡± I said, with a smirk. ¡°My chapters are very hardcore. I¡¯m sure you know that already, though.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I do.¡± Sheughed. ¡°It¡¯s why I want to read it even more.¡±


    Peter nudged my elbow. ¡°Let her read a load of it, please. I¡¯ll get the benefits back hometer.¡±


    I still felt slightly strange about the idea as I sipped at my whisky. Letting L read my writing would feel as though I was being exposed, somehow. Not from the content per se, but from the exposure of my emotional and creative process.


    ¡°Go on, Julian,¡± Rosie pushed. ¡°Say yes!¡±


    Her wine drunk eyes were so imploring. Her voice so sweet.


    ¡°How could I ever refuse you anything?¡± I said, then looked at L. ¡°Yes, you can read some of my chapters. I¡¯d be honoured.¡±


    That sealed the deal. As soon as we¡¯d finished up the apple and ckberry crumble I¡¯d made for dessert, I cleared the table with Peter¡¯s help and set up myptop for L. My nerves were uncharacteristically thrumming as she devoured the pages with Rosie alongside her, as though I was awaiting a jury verdict.


    One word said it all, when she was done with the very first scene.


    ¡°Wow!¡±


    ¡°You enjoyed it?¡± I asked her, and her nod spoke volumes.


    ¡°Enjoyed it?! It¡¯s fucking amazing.¡± She pped her hands together. ¡°More, please! I know you¡¯ve got loads of them.¡±


    ¡°Alright,¡± I said, and called up the next.


    Peter and I sat on the chesterfield as the girls read and chatted. I got so many thumbs up and mini rounds of apuse, that I became heady on both whisky and satisfaction. I could have yed it down as nothing more than two friends having fun and reading hot sex between them, but L¡¯sments and praise were based around more than that  just as Rosie¡¯s were. The pair of them would quote lines that stood out in particr, admiring my prose. Theymented on everything from pace, to characterisation, to tension and tiny details. All of which meant a lot.


    It seemed that teaching others had most certainly had an impact on my own strengths as a writer. What a wee benefit.


    Before we knew it, the early hours were upon us. The girls were into the realms of giggling drunks, which was deliciously uplifting, and Peter and I had consumed almost a whole bottle of Scotch between us.


    ¡°Time to go,¡± Peter said, finally, and L didn¡¯t argue as he called a taxi.


    She gave Rosie a huge hug when it was due to pull up outside.


    ¡°That was amazing, thanks. See you on Monday.¡±

 Chapter 137

    Their hugsted for ages, both of them swaying and clutching each other tight. Rosie virtually leapt into Peter¡¯s arms to say goodbye, as L leapt into mine, without hesitation. I looked at Rosie¡¯s arms around Peter¡¯s neck, squeezing in the way I knew. Her eyes were sparkling as she thanked him foring, and he was still beaming as he gave me a p on the back and shook my hand.


    ¡°Was ace, Julian, thanks so much.¡±


    ¡°See you soon!¡± Rosie said, as she waved them off from the front door.


    The neighbours would be despising me even more after this week. Drunk guests leaving, and a hundred heavy deliveriesing up the stairs. In my drunken state, I found it humorous.


    Rosie¡¯s arms were ready for my neck next. I lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around my waist, holding on to me like a ko bear as I walked us through to the kitchen for another drink.


    ¡°You¡¯re amazing,¡± she said with a giggle and a slur.


    ¡°And you¡¯re drunk.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I like it.¡±


    ¡°Like being trashed on wine?¡±


    She looked at me with a beautiful humour as she nodded.


    ¡°Yeah, I guess so. Guilty.¡±


    ¡°It seems L enjoys a few wines, too.¡±


    ¡°Wine and your chapters¡­ she thought they were mega hot.¡±


    ¡°So I heard.¡± I poured another whisky with her still in my arms. ¡°I expect Peter will be getting the benefits of thatter, if she isn¡¯t so trashed she falls asleep as soon as they¡¯re in through the door.¡±


    ¡°Nah, she won¡¯t be. Wine makes her horny.¡±


    ¡°And how about you?¡± I bounced her up and down against me. ¡°Is your pussy nice and wet after your drinking session?¡±


    ¡°My pussy is always nice and wet when it¡¯s around you.¡±


    She took my whisky shot from my hand and downed it, then smacked her lips. Oh, yes. She was definitely drunk and horny, and my cock was already straining. I¡¯d been thinking about her cunt for hours, seeing the twinkle in her eyes as she shared my written filth with her new friend.


    I didn¡¯t bother pouring another whisky. Instead, I took her back through and ced her butt on the dining table next to myptop.


    ¡°Do you think they¡¯ll be acting some of this out?¡± I asked her, gesturing to the screen.


    She nodded. ¡°Yep. For sure. She loves all of it. Even the whisk.¡±Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    ¡°Really?¡±


    Rosie beamed at me. ¡°Yeah. They¡¯ll be trying that out, and who knows? L might have slut written on her in marker pen in the morning.¡±


    I pulled Rosie¡¯s dress up so hard it almost tore. She still had dirty bitch scrawled on her stomach from earlier.


    ¡°I should have showed her this,¡± she giggled. ¡°You could have lent them a marker pen and we could havepared styles. Like an art ss.¡± She was joking, but it sparked a fire in my gut.


    ¡°Would you have liked that? To watch her getting scribbled on?¡±


    Sheughed so sweetly. ¡°Would be awesome. Really good fun. Maybe we should do it sometime.¡±


    The fire in my gut burned brighter.


    ¡°How about a foursome, hey?¡± I said. ¡°Would you like that? I could show him how to use a whisk. Maybe he could practice on you?¡±


    She was still giggling as she nodded. She was joking, that¡¯s what I told myself, but it didn¡¯t matter, that internal fire zed at the very thought of Peter touching Rosie¡¯s pussy. Of anyone touching Rosie¡¯s pussy. Of any man touching Rosie anywhere. And I couldn¡¯t hold myself back, I took her cheeks in my hands to make her pout.


    ¡°Is that what you want? Two guys? You want both me and Peter?¡±


    She stuck her tongue out, drunk, teasing me.


    ¡°What if I did?¡± she managed to say.


    I gripped her cheeks tighter, my whisky breaths growing ragged. My cock was hard, but my fire was raging. A headybination.


    ¡°Is that really what you want?¡± I asked her. ¡°You want Peter¡¯s cock?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± she giggled, but I didn¡¯t let her cheeks go. ¡°I only want yours. Peter¡¯s hot, but he¡¯s got nothing on you. Not even close.¡±


    ¡°Peter¡¯s hot?¡± I let her cheeks go, feeling the fire in my veins.


    Her answer was cutely innocent. ¡°Yeah, he¡¯s lovely.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not what I asked. I asked if Peter¡¯s hot.¡±


    She saw the mes in my eyes, and my Lilith stirred in front of me. I saw her dancing with the idea of ying with me, just a little.


    ¡°Peter is hot, yeah.¡±


    I let my demons run free, unbridled, swimming in the possessiveness I felt over my beautiful little flower.


    ¡°Think you could take two cocks, do you?¡± I ran my fingers up her thigh.


    ¡°And how about my fist? I know L has been singing the praises of taking Peter¡¯s big, rough hand in her cunt.¡±


    Rosie¡¯s eyes were alive. The minx set free.


    ¡°I could take whatever you gave me.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s see about that.¡±


    I mmed her back onto the table, and she spread her legs as my hands roved over her. I tugged her dress and bra down to free her pretty tits, and she arched as I took one of her nipples in my teeth, sucking hard.


    ¡°Yes¡­¡± she said. ¡°More¡­¡±


    I gave her more. I nipped, and sucked and used her tits until she was bruising with love bites, marking her. iming her. My fingers worked her clit through her wet panties, and she was a needy bitch, spurred on by her dirty friend.


    ¡°You¡¯d better stay right fucking there,¡± I told her as she came close toing, my voice low. Possessive.


    I marched to the bedroom and grabbed a selection of toys and lube, frantic. My blood was pumping when I got back to the table, dumping the toys next to her before I tore her free of her clothes. And then I wasted no time. I squirted a whole load of lube on the biggest dildo, and she hitched her legs up as I rubbed the head up and down her slit.


    ¡°Do it¡­¡± she hissed. ¡°Fuck me, hard. Make me fucking take it.¡±


    Jesus Christ!


    I mmed it inside her in one, twisting it to make it strain, and she whimpered, tipping her head back and gripping the top of the table behind her head. I couldn¡¯t hold back, consumed by the sight of her pussy taking the pounding. I imagined it as Peter¡¯s cock, and it drove me into a frenzy. I mmed her so hard she was crying out, but she was urging me on. Harder, harder¡­


    ¡°Let¡¯s see if you can really take it, you dirty little slut,¡± I said, keeping the dildo rammed tight in her pussy as I freed my cock from my pants.


    I squirted a token amount of lube on her ass and twisted two fingers all the way in, loving the way she gasped and squirmed as I finger-fucked her dirty hole. My cock was ready, needing her so badly. She yelped when I yanked my fingers free and yelped again as I forced my cock into her puckered little asshole in three thrusts, and her holes gripped like a vice, her delicate little body struggling to take me and the dildo rammed deep. But that didn¡¯t matter. She wanted it. I could see it in her filthy smile.


    I used Rosie like a true slut, with two cocks straining her. I craved every whimper and cry she gave as she battled, gritting her teeth as her body learned to ept the pounding, and it was pure, filthy magic.


    I had two fat cocks inside my dainty little girl, and she was good enough that she took it for me.


    Jesus Christ, how I fucked her. I stretched her, balls thumping against her flesh as I savaged her with thrusts, but that wasn¡¯t enough. I needed more. I needed to give her more. For me, not for her. Selfish cunt.


    She protested with a nooo as I pulled both the dildo and my cock free in one, both of her holes raw and gaping nicely. But then she realised what I was doing. I lubed up my fist as she watched me, her eyes wide through her wine fuelled haze.


    ¡°Oh God,¡± she said.


    ¡°Yes,¡± I said. ¡°I think your needy cunt is ready for this, don¡¯t you?¡±


    My angel nodded, pushing her sses up her nose, her mouth gaping open.


    Four fingers went in easily, right up to the hilt, my thumb still free to rub at her clit as she pushed back against me. I let her enjoy the clit y until my thumb changed position, lining up along with my fingers, and then I started the true stretch. The lube made her cunt so fucking slippery that she squelched as I eased my hand into her, stretching her a little wider each time. I was reaching the thickest part of my knuckles when she started crying out with the depths of the strain.


    ¡°Take a deep breath, like a good girl,¡± I told her, and she did as she was told.


    I eased the widest part of my hand into her, and that deep breath did fuck all. Her whimpers were feral, but she didn¡¯t stop me. She let me work my hand inside her cunt like I was a master. A fucking god.


    ¡°It hurts, doesn¡¯t it?¡± I asked, and she nodded.


    ¡°Yeah¡­ but I like it¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re almost there,¡± I said, ¡°onest push and my hand will be inside you. Think you can take it?¡±


    My sweet Rosie looked me in the eye, teeth gritted. ¡°Yeah,¡± she said, ¡°I can take it.¡±


    And with that, she pushed. I held my hand firm and she pushed, her cunt literally sucking me in and closing tight around my wrist.


    It was a divine sight to see her syed with my whole fucking fist inside her. She was a creature of pure beauty. My Lilith and Eve in one. My whole seedy universe, and my heart entangled in one beautiful girl.


    What a sight. She looked so proud, and deservedly so.


    I kissed her deep and hard with my hand in her cunt, and she was perfection. She tangled her fingers in my hair, breathing short and fast against my lips.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± she said, and for once I didn¡¯t protest, because, yes. This time the pleasure was hers, as well as mine. We were both winners riding high. Consumed and crazy.


    ¡°What happens now?¡± she asked when we broke the kiss.


    ¡°Youe for me,¡± I said and turned my fist inside her, just a little.


    Her breath hitched, she winced, but didn¡¯tin.


    ¡°Legs back,¡± I said and she carefully lifted her legs back.


    Again, what a sight. I only wished I¡¯d taken time to set up the camera.


    With her cunt still grasping my wrist, I kissed my way down her stomach, stopping at her engorged clit. And then I sucked, andpped, and bit down on it, and my slut whimpered, her body soon shuddering.


    ¡°Fuck, Julian,¡± she managed, and she was done, unravelling, twisting and bucking, and just at the right moment, when I knew her orgasm was exploding, I pulled my hand free.


    My beautiful slut cried out, squirmed and convulsed, and I held her steady.


    Held her in my arms as she whimpered and moaned and breathed so damn hard.


    ¡°Good girl,¡± I said as I picked her up into my arms.


    ¡°Did I do ok?¡± she asked as I carried her through to the bedroom.


    ¡°More than ok,¡± I said as Iid her down. ¡°I¡¯m so very proud.¡±


    ¡°Fuck me, then,¡± she said, and yes, she was serious.


    Dawn was rising when we¡¯d finally finished, both of us spent. Rosie was snoring like a dozing angel when I eased myself away for a cigarette at the living room window. Myptop was still on the dining table, next to the used toys, and I looked at it in the stillness of the morning, remembering the adoration the girls had shown while reading my work.


    Did I really believe their praise?


    Yes. I did. Despite my inner criticism, I believed their praise.


    I didn¡¯t go straight back to bed. No. I didn¡¯t start up a fresh chapter, either. Instead, I called up the name of one of my previous students from over a decade ago, whose career I¡¯d followed as he¡¯d established himself as an exceptional editor.


    I checked out his website and found his email address, chiding myself for even entertaining the idea, but my fingers worked on autopilot as I wrote out a message. It was an impromptu decision, but aren¡¯t they always?


    I looked at the text onscreen, and the document I¡¯d attached for him, and then I thought, fuck it. Why not? What harm could it do? Why not at least give it a try?


    I hit send.

 Chapter 138

    ROSIE


    I could barely walk on monday morning my pussy was so damn sore, even after a good day of rest. Lughed as I approached her in the library at lunchtime, because she knew exactly what I¡¯d been up to.


    ¡°Yeah, ouch,¡± I said.


    ¡°Was it good, though?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, it was incredible. Hurts now, but it was worth it.¡± I cracked a grin. ¡°Very worth it.¡±


    She winked as I sat down beside her. ¡°You¡¯ll get used to the after pain, I promise. And pelvic floor will be your friend.¡± Sheughed. ¡°And


    Julian¡¯s.¡±


    ¡°No doubt, but Julian says he doesn¡¯t want me to get used to it. He says it¡¯s only for very special asions.¡±


    ¡°Same here. Pete always makes me beg for it before he dishes it out, but still. Pelvic floor, believe me. It¡¯s a life skill.¡±


    She gave me a whole load of techniques and Imitted to them, wanting to make sure I was the slut dreams are made of  especially Julian¡¯s. I wanted to grip him like a vice, as he liked to put it.


    I alsopleted an essential assignment that had been on my radar for weeks, and I booked in to my doctor for the contraceptive pill. As much as I loved Julian¡¯s cum dripping from me every chance I got, I didn¡¯t want a baby to add to our situation. Not even if it was Julian¡¯s.


    Maybe he¡¯d end up like one of those celebrity eighty-year-old fathers with four generations of kids or something. The thought made meugh, and it urred to me, just how immune I was getting to ponderings about age gap dos and don¡¯ts, even if the rest of the estate wasn¡¯t. I was still getting barrages of insults, and bitching everywhere I went, but fuck that, and fuck them. People needed to get a life, rather than being so concerned with mine, but like hell they would. I¡¯d probably still be getting bitched at for years toe.


    Unless we moved away.


    The thought was there. Always.


    What if Julian and me moved away when I was done with college?


    Did I really want to be in Crenham Drive for the rest of my life? No. I didn¡¯t. The ce felt like a ustrophobic dome of judgement and smallmindedness that I used to take for granted, but I was past that. Once the veil is pulled back and you see things as they really are, there is no returning. I wouldn¡¯t have been able to pretend to be sweet little Rosie in my crappy life on this estate, even if I¡¯d wanted to.


    But there was something else, of course. Something that would hold me back beyond anything.


    Mum.


    Every day without her was getting harder. It was like a gulf widening, minute by minute, my heart growing more and more desperate to hear her voice and see her smiling. Memories were springing up at me, constantly. The tiny details of things I missed were magnified. Even the thought of how she clutched her mug of tea was enough that I felt tears calling. I needed her so bad.


    Just not badly enough to give up Julian.


    With Mum back at work, and me at college, our paths through the block wouldn¡¯t cross very often, if at all. It was hell, knowing she was so close, but so far. One floor separated us, but that floor symbolised the world. Yet again, I could only begin to imagine the pain Julian went through when his whole family cast him aside.


    He was smoking at the window one nightter that week when I was missing Mum especially bad. I looked at how he was staring into the distance and wondered how bad he was missing his kids and his brother, and even Katreya. Surely all the time.


    ¡°Do you think about them?¡± I asked. ¡°When you look out there, are you ever imagining Oxford in the distance?¡±


    He didn¡¯t hold back, turning to me with a sad smile.


    ¡°Yes. A lot of the time.¡± He stubbed out his cigarette. ¡°Thank the Lord I have you to ease my pain, or I wouldn¡¯t be here. I wouldn¡¯t have hung onto life for much longer.¡±


    He sat next to me when he was done with his cigarette, and put his hand on my knee. I leant into his side, hating how awful his situation must be, regardless of me being in it. Every tiny memory of his family must cut like a knife.


    ¡°I miss Mum,¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t know how you do it. Really.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s simple. I find sce in you. That¡¯s how I do it.¡±


    The hurt in me was a nasty fog, most likely because it was Mum¡¯s birthday in a few weeks¡¯ time. I rested my head on him and gripped his arm, sighing at the thought I wouldn¡¯t be there.


    ¡°Would you go back to Oxford? If you could?¡±


    He straightened up, looking down at me with piercing eyes.


    ¡°Would I return to my wife, do you mean?¡±


    ¡°Not necessarily, no. But your life in general. If someone gave you the option on a te, right now, go to Oxford and pick up life again, or stay here, with me, which would it be?¡±


    ¡°No one is ever going to do that. It¡¯s a pointless thing to ponder on.¡±


    ¡°You would ponder it, though?¡±


    He sighed, his eyes warm. ¡°Sweetheart, of course I¡¯d love to return to Oxford. Believe me, I miss my children, and my family, and my life. Friends, career, neighbours. My dog. Everything.¡±Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDra/ma.O(r)g!


    I didn¡¯t me him in the slightest. Being upstairs from Mum was bad enough. He ran his thumb across my cheek in the way I loved. His stare was meaningful. Soulful, even.


    ¡°I miss it all, but that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯d be willing to leave you behind. Oxford, or not.¡±


    I opted to make light of it, even though I¡¯d jabbed a wound that ran very deep.


    ¡°It would be the best thing ever if they did let you back into their lives again, and I¡¯d love to be the girl at your side through all of it. I¡¯d even love to meet your dog, but I can¡¯t see I¡¯d be invited to family gatherings with you for the next hundred years. They¡¯d probably throw eggs at me.¡±


    ¡°No, they wouldn¡¯t. They¡¯d be far too busy throwing eggs at me.¡± His thumb was still on my cheek, and he read me. He always did. ¡°I know you miss your mum, and in your case I hope it¡¯s not going to be an all or nothing situation. We don¡¯t have to leave this ce, and you don¡¯t have to leave her, and hopefully one day, preferably soon, she will be willing to speak with you again, even if she still despises the very sight of me. I believe she loves you too much to hold you at arm¡¯s length for ever. Most certainly.¡±


    It was always the case with him. Such faith in me, such little in himself. It made me sigh.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t your family do the same? Don¡¯t you believe they love you too much to throw you out for ever?¡±


    His eyes were fixed firm.


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t. I¡¯m dead to them. Figuratively, if not literally.¡±

 Chapter 139

    I wasn¡¯t nearly so certain. I couldn¡¯t be. Julian was such an incredible man that I didn¡¯t believe anyone would want to cast him aside permanently, no matter what the situation was, but he knew them better than I did, just as I knew Mum and Crenham Drive better than he did. With everyone¡¯s voice in Mum¡¯s ears constantly, she¡¯d be under the spell of judgement, and I¡¯d be lost to her.


    Still, it was what it was. The world would keep spinning, and Julian and me would still be together, pain binding us as well as love. I didn¡¯t expect anything different, genuinely.


    I read Julian¡¯s amazingly written scenes at night, and focused on college in the day, and I spent time with L after lessons, and she and Peter joined us for one of Julian¡¯s pork roasts at the weekend. It was great.


    But still, I didn¡¯t see my mum.


    I stood strong through jeers and whispers, and revised for my exams, and yed filthy games with Julian every evening, and it was all fine for weeks. Apart from the fact that I didn¡¯t see my mum.


    I thought about hammering her door down, or calling on repeat until she either answered or blocked me, but I knew what she was like. She¡¯d cry and scream and it would push her further back into her shell, and give Trisha more ammunition for her there, there, Rosie¡¯s been turned into an evil, naive bitch front, or whatever other bullshit people were spewing, so I steered clear.


    Mum needed to make the move. I wasn¡¯t Scottie. Some garage flowers and expressions of adoration weren¡¯t going to cut it. I was her little girl and would need to let go of Julian. But I couldn¡¯t do that. I¡¯d never be able to. I loved Julian just too damn much.


    I was used to kids giving me jeers on the way back from college. It was the same rubbish every day, whether fromughs of girls sniggering, or the guys from block seven giving me their usual crap from the garage bench, or the scathing looks I got from the dog walkers on their usual routes. One person I hadn¡¯t seen in weeks was Jayden, presuming he was just keeping his distance because he hated my guts so much, so I jumped back in shock when I turned the corner for our block to find him there one afternoon, leaning against the wall, waiting for me with hate in his eyes. He was smoking a cigarette, but he tossed it to the floor as I gathered myself together and approached him.


    ¡°Hey,¡± I tried.


    ¡°Don¡¯t fucking hey me,¡± he said, ¡°I went to see Dad. The prick you¡¯re with is a true psycho. He was gonna stab my dad. Kill him. For fucking real. And he¡¯ll kill you, as well.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s dangerous, Rosie. Once he¡¯s tired of fucking you, he¡¯ll stab you as well and move on to his next little girl victim.¡±


    ¡°Are you for real? Julian¡¯s not dangerous. He wouldn¡¯t hurt a fly.¡±


    ¡°He threatened to kill my dad. And you¡¯ll be next. He¡¯ll soon get tired of you, and you¡¯ll be next. Dad says we might as well do it ourselves to save wasting time. If we got rid of the pair of you, Dad would be able toe home again.¡±


    What the


    ¡°Did you just say your dad thinks you should kill me? For real? Seriously?¡±


    ¡°Why fucking not?¡± Jay said, like he¡¯d lost his mind. ¡°The sicko¡¯s going to do it anyway. Dad says¡­¡±


    I¡¯d had enough. I shook my head as I walked on by, not wanting another stupid battle, especially such a nasty, overblown one as this one. Scottie could fuck off. Jayden could fuck off too, and I told him so, giving him the middle finger as I passed him. But he didn¡¯t let me go. He grabbed my arm, tugging me back to him and holding me in a grip, his teeth gritted in anger. Just like his father.


    ¡°My dad¡¯s gone away because of you, you think that¡¯s fucking funny?¡± ¡°No!¡± I snapped. ¡°I think it¡¯s fucking deserved, because your dad is a piece of shit, who should be in prison, and nowhere else.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, so what about your fucked up boyfriend? He¡¯s the one who wants to be a fucking killer.¡±


    ¡°Whatever, Jay,¡± I said and tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn¡¯t let me go. He kept his grip on me. ¡°Fuck off and leave me alone!¡± I said, but he didn¡¯t. He was too angry. Too wound up. Too fucked up.


    ¡°This is your fucking fault!¡± he said. ¡°And you think it¡¯s alright, parading around like a slut who got the prize! I¡¯ve heard you¡¯ve been bragging to people. Skipping down the street with that psycho cunt¡¯s hand in yours like a stupid little puppy bitch.¡±


    ¡°FUCK OFF!¡± I yelled. ¡°Your dad¡¯s the fucking psycho! Not Julian! And it¡¯s definitely, DEFINITELY not my fault!¡±


    ¡°IT IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT!¡±


    I was prepared tounch into another attack of my own, but a voice cut in from across the street, footsteps dashing. I recognised the heels and my heart cried out in relief to hear Mum¡¯s scream, right there beside me.


    ¡°Jayden! You¡¯d better leave Rosie the fuck alone, do you hear me? If you don¡¯t, there¡¯s going to be trouble for everyone, not least your fucking dad!¡±


    Jayden let me go, just like that. His eyes locked on Mum¡¯s and he saw her rage, and it seemed to jolt him back to himself. He stumbled back with his hands in his hair. Mum spun around, looking at the onlookers gathering on the outskirts.


    ¡°And you lot can fuck off, too!¡±Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDra/ma.O(r)g!


    People pretended they weren¡¯t watching, going about their business like they hadn¡¯t just observed Jayden practically wrestling me into the road.


    ¡°Sorry,¡± Jay mumbled. ¡°It¡¯s just a fucking mess!¡±


    He was poor little lost Jayden again as he turned and sloped away.


    ¡°Jay!¡± I called, but he didn¡¯t listen. ¡°Jay, wait! Let¡¯s talk about it! Let¡¯s at least try, right?¡±


    He¡¯d been my friend, and the person going through the same shit as me for so long, that it felt painful to watch him leave, but not nearly so painful as when I turned to thank Mum and found she was already walking away.


    ¡°Mum, wait! Hang on a minute!¡±


    But she held up a hand, not wanting to hear from me.


    ¡°MUM!¡± I shouted, dashing after her, with relief, and hurt, and love all melting together in one big pot, tears in my eyes. ¡°Thanks, Mum! Just wait! Please!¡±


    She sucked in a breath, and turned to me, and her eyes were teary, too. But it wasn¡¯t enough. Her pain was too strong to build the bridge between us. Even now, after defending me, she still looked as though I¡¯d shit on her doorstep and was nothing but dirt.


    ¡°Leave him!¡± she told me. ¡°Leave the prick ande back home. We can forget it ever happened. You can move back in. Just leave him.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to leave him! I love him!¡±


    ¡°Fine, then,¡± she said. ¡°Please yourself, but I¡¯m not having it. I¡¯m not seeing you with a piece of shit like him. No fucking way.¡±


    ¡°Mum¡± I tried again, but she kept on walking. ¡°MUM!¡± I shouted again, and I saw her shoulders hunch as she fought back tears.


    And that set me off. I couldn¡¯t hold back.


    I dropped to my knees at the side of the road, not giving a fuck about anyone watching me, and I cried like a little girl who¡¯d truly lost her mum. Beyond help. Beyond reason. Beyond anything.


    Because I was one.


    I was a little girl who¡¯d lost her mum, and I loved her. I needed her. Nothing would ever make that go away.


    Not even Julian. He wouldn¡¯t be able to stop the pain of me losing my mother. But that didn¡¯t matter, I wasn¡¯t ever going to give him up.


    I sucked in a breath of my own as Mum turned the corner at the bottom of the street, and forced myself to my feet, wiping away tears with the back of my hand as Iposed myself as best I could.


    And then I went home  my new home. And to the man upstairs.


    The man who loved me.

 Chapter 140

    JULIAN


    WE needed a change of scene, even just a token one. This ce and all its bullshit was driving Rosie insane, even if she was keeping it together on the surface. Being estranged from her mother was taking its toll.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go away,¡± I said. ¡°Just for a weekend. One night away. Peter and L cane, too. We all need it.¡±


    She finished up her mouthful of stew and her starended on mine.


    ¡°Do you think they woulde? Really? Peter finds it hard, but I know L would love it.¡±


    ¡°How about you suggest it? They can only say no.¡±


    ¡°How about Much Arlock? We could go there,¡± Rosie said, but that wasn¡¯t what I had in mind.


    ¡°I was thinking London. We need something more cosmopolitan. More alive. Bigger.¡±


    Her eyes widened. ¡°London?¡±


    ¡°Yes, London. Let¡¯s do it.¡± I gestured to her phone. ¡°Call L now. Get her and Peter along. I¡¯ll book it for all of us. My treat. Fuck Dine¡¯s Green and Crenham for a weekend. London would be just the scene. A stunning hotel. A night out clubbing. Champagne, and dancing, and chatting through the night. A hearty breakfast in the morning.¡±


    ¡°That sounds amazing.¡±


    ¡°It will be amazing. Just the break we need to recharge. And like I said, my treat.¡±


    ¡°Seriously?¡±


    ¡°Seriously. I¡¯ll pay for everything.¡±


    ¡°Wow!¡±


    ¡°Are you in?¡±


    ¡°Hell yes.¡±


    Rosie picked up her phone at that. I had her sold. It was a joy to watch her, excitement buzzing as she paced the room, chatting away to L. Excitement that turned into sadness when she hung up.


    ¡°Peter says they¡¯d rather pay their own way, but he needs a couple of months to save up.¡±


    Ah, the pride of man. I should have known that would be the case.


    ¡°Call L back. Let me speak to Peter.¡±


    It took a while to convince Peter. I told him, with the utmost respect to anyone¡¯s financial position, that I could easily pay for us all. One night in London was a drop in the ocean for me, that what mattered here was our good friendship, and love for our girls. They deserved a break and so did we.


    ¡°The cost is nothing, Peter. But the experience will be everything. We would be honoured if you would bothe along.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re some bloke, you know that,¡± Peter said.


    Iughed. ¡°So Rosie keeps telling me. Do we have a deal?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d be dumb to say no, wouldn¡¯t I?¡±


    ¡°Is that a yes?¡±


    ¡°I guess so. Thank you, mate.¡±


    ¡°No, Peter. Thank you. You¡¯re very wee.¡±


    Rosie practically screamed when I hung up, leapt into my arms and squeezed the life out of me.


    ¡°You¡¯re amazing,¡± she said.


    I used myptop to check out possible hotels and venues. Rosie looked through the listings with me, and she skirted past the obvious choice. A particrly stunning one in Chelsea with its own courtyard, grand windows and a whole host of facilities.


    ¡°How about that one?¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s by the far the best we¡¯ve seen.¡±


    ¡°No way,¡± she said when she saw the price tag. ¡°That¡¯s crazy nice. Too nice.¡±


    ¡°Do you think you¡¯d enjoy it?¡±


    ¡°Enjoy it?! How could anyone not? Pete loves the gym. L loves swimming.¡±


    ¡°And how about you, sweetheart? What do you love?¡±


    ¡°Grand windows like that.¡± Sheughed. ¡°And yeah, I love swimming, too. I¡¯ll love everything when it¡¯s with you guys. Everything!¡±


    Everything.


    That twisted possessiveness came over me again. It was bizarre. She wasn¡¯t going to be fucking Peter, that much was clear, but even the thought was enough to set my blood boiling. One could almost say it was a refreshing feeling. A passionate selfishness.


    I enjoyed it. Strange, but true.


    Two grand suites were avable at the venue. I managed to secure both together for the very next weekend, and Rosie let out a squeal as she messaged L back with the link. In some ways I wished she hadn¡¯t done that. The cost would be quite something to behold. She got back a nooooo, we couldn¡¯t! But I was insistent. A nice break was on the cards, and they deserved one, as did my little angel. Hell, we all needed out of here.


    The next few days were a countdown. College, writing, fucking like crazy, and building excitement.


    L and Peter came to Crenham Drive early on Saturday morning before we set off on our trip, as I was happy to take my new little runaround of a car down into the city. I¡¯d have usually cracked open a bottle of wine and a full whisky bottle if I wasn¡¯t the driver, so it was a good job I was. Or was it? Was that the only reason I wasn¡¯t already desperate to get the alcohol flowing?


    No. I doubted it was. Not anymore.


    My drinking had been decreasing steadily for weeks, yet I¡¯d barely noticed  which was yet another beautiful thing that my sweetheart was inspiring in me. Mymitment to both her, life, and my newfound writing passion were taking my focus off alcohol after years on end of being a drunk. Extraordinary, and a wonderful surprise.


    As was the response I¡¯d receivedst week from the editor I¡¯d messaged, but I was keeping that card close to my chest for now.


    I had both mine and Rosie¡¯s travel cases in my hands, along with my suit hanger as we descended from the block, and Pete was carrying his and L¡¯s. There was a thrum of excitement between the four of us, all of us thrilled by the thought of the weekend ahead, but my mood plummeted to the kerb of fuck¡¯s sake when I saw the massive, lime green sprayed cock on the bo of my car. Brilliant. Not only that, but they¡¯d sprayed the word pervert up the driver¡¯s side, and the scribble was even rougher than my shitty marker handwriting after a night on the whisky, it was so goddamn awful. What a mess. Absolute fucking idiocy. The words were still legible though, unfortunately.


    ¡°Fucking hell,¡± Peter said, dropping his cases to check it out. ¡°What are we gonna do now? Get a cab or a train or something?¡±


    But no. Screw that. I felt the rage boil. Sick of being fucking humiliated, judged and trashed by the small-minded fools in Crenham Drive. I saw red, and I didn¡¯t give a flying fuck whether there was a spray-painted cock on my car. The world could fuck off and handle it.


    ¡°We¡¯re going to take the car anyway,¡± I told Peter, as the girls looked on, aghast. ¡°The hotel courtyard will have to handle it. The other guests canugh and point, if they like. Quite frankly, I couldn¡¯t care less. We are as entitled to car parking spaces as they are, and as entitled to the hotel¡¯s finest, just like them.¡±


    My attitude seemed to inspire Peter somehow. He nodded, and smirked, then gave a shrug.


    ¡°Yeah, fuck ¡¯em. Who gives a shit, right?¡±


    He had, in fact. He had given a great deal of a shit just a short while ago, and so had the rest of us, but our immunity was growing stronger, and rightly so. Crenham could go fuck itself, and so could Dine¡¯s Green. London was calling, and my spray-painted car was going to get us there. To hell with the lime green cock on it.


    The girls were keen to sit together in the back, chatting away happily. There was a quiet solidarity growing between me and Pete, and it was a pleasure to be at his side.


    ¡°Good call on driving this thing,¡± he said. ¡°You¡¯ve got balls.¡±


    ¡°Thank you. You¡¯ve got equally enough balls to share the journey in it. So have the princesses in the back seat.¡±


    ¡°Guess we¡¯re all getting hardcore now, in our own little fucked up circle.¡±


    ¡°The circle will be a lot bigger tonight,¡± I chuckled. ¡°Just wait until you see the club.¡±


    I¡¯d picked out one of the biggest in the city, purchasing VIP passes for the high-ss bar upstairs as an additional extra. Quite a social. I couldn¡¯t wait to see the girls dancing together, and in there we¡¯d have anonymity. Bliss.


    Rosie had chosen and ordered a dress for the evening a few days ago, receiving the parcel with a squeal, but I hadn¡¯t seen it yet. She¡¯d dashed off to the bathroom to try it on with a no! It¡¯ll be a surprise! before I could catch sight of her. I couldn¡¯t wait much longer. I knew it would drive me insane.N?vel(D)rama.Org''s content.


    We left the city and hit the motorway to a whole host of horn beeps, waves and pointing fingers as other drivers caught sight of our vehicle, but I found I wasughing and waving back, and so was Peter. We were a spectacle, but I didn¡¯t care  not even about pictures. People were taking photos of the car, but I couldn¡¯t give a toss. Genuinely.


    The other guests in the hotel courtyard had a slightly more reserved response than our fellow road users. One very demure looking olderdy elbowed her husband as they looked over at us, but I didn¡¯t hold back. I raised my hand and smiled with a good day to you, and we set off with our cases to the main reception.


    A polite young man checked us in and asked for our vehicle details. It amused me when I gave the simple answer of the one with a green dick sprayed on the bo, rather than the registration number, and Rosie gripped my arm,ughing with me as he handed over our room keys.


    ¡°Here we go,¡± I said to L and Peter as I handed over theirs, and we took the lift together to our suites on the upper floor. Even the corridor was spectacr, with its high chandeliered ceilings and grand mirrors along the wall, and it was a further reminder of the life I used to take for granted. So many extravagant and beautiful locations I¡¯d barely noticed, yet Rosie was there alongside me, staring up at the ceiling as though she was viewing heaven itself.


    I was smiling as I opened our suite door, and gave a see you shortly to Peter and L. I half expected Rosie to dart around like an excited child when she saw the full scope of the ce, but she didn¡¯t. She was a graceful little swan as she took dainty steps around the suite with her beautiful eyes wide behind her sses.


    ¡°I just can¡¯t believe this.¡±


    ¡°You better had, sweetheart. You deserve it.¡±


    She ran her hand across one of the dressers, as though she was in a dream. The bed was huge and plush, and the TV on the wall was like a cinema screen, and the bathroom was marble and decadent. The views from the huge window were stunning, showing the city in full glory. I watched Rosie as she took a look.


    ¡°Wow,¡± she said.


    ¡°Indeed. London is a great city.¡±


    ¡°I wish my mum could see this, too,¡± my angel said, and her breath hitched. ¡°She¡¯d love it so much.¡±


    Rosie¡¯s selflessness touched me, right in the ribs. I wrapped my arms around her tight.


    ¡°Maybe one day she will. I hope so. I really do.¡±


    That wasn¡¯t why I wanted Beverly to ept our rtionship, though. Money and extravagance meant nothingpared to the love I felt for her daughter. That was the eptance I truly wanted from her. If only she knew the real strength of my adoration for her little girl. The way she brought me joy from even the slightest smile. The way she pushed her sses up her nose. Her sweetugh, and the way she¡¯d sigh in my arms every night, content as she drifted into dreand.

 Chapter 141

    Maybe one day soon she would. I already had my ns on the horizon, but once again, my cards were very, very close to my chest. That feeling, at least, was familiar.


    I began unpacking our cases as Rosie stood at the window, still admiring the view.


    ¡°We¡¯re going to have an incredible time,¡± I told her. ¡°I promise.¡±


    She turned and grinned at me, with the sunlight from the window catching her hair.


    ¡°I already am.¡±


    I took out my new suit, still in its premier casing, hanging it up on the wardrobe door. Rosie wasn¡¯t the only one who¡¯d be dressed for the asion. I¡¯d ventured into town to have my new outfit tailored while she was at college.


    ¡°Ah, ah, no!¡± I chided as she approached the suit cover. ¡°No peeking. We¡¯ll both surprise each other tonight.¡±


    ¡°But I want to see!¡± she said, and I fake wrestled her, bundling her down onto the bed where I pinned her arms over her head.


    ¡°I said, no,¡± I told her, and she arched up, pouting as she wrapped her legs around my waist.


    Jesus Christ, at that I was already done for. I was already kissing her when her phone started ringing in her bag.


    ¡°That will probably be L,¡± she said between kisses.


    ¡°I don¡¯t give a fuck,¡± I said, and carried on.


    It was at least an hourter when Rosie and I were done, panting wrecks, lying together on the bed as we calmed, with the light streaming in. Rosie¡¯s phone had been ringing a few times, so it shouldn¡¯t have been a shock when a knock sounded from our hotel room door.


    ¡°Shit!¡± Rosieughed, and jumped up, fishing for a t-shirt from her case. I disappeared into the bathroom and grabbed a towel to wrap around my waist while she went for the door. Damn. L and Peter were already dressed for a meal and the bar downstairs.


    L giggled when she saw us. She looked absolutely stunning in a sequined dark blue dress, her hair braided with a ribbon of the same colour. Peter was in a suit himself, and he looked good for it. His tie was Windsor knotted, in a blue that matched L¡¯s outfit. Fantastic.


    ¡°Guess we interrupted you,¡± Peter said,ughing too.This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org.


    ¡°Head on down,¡± I said. ¡°We¡¯ll join you shortly.¡±


    They nodded, but L pulled Rosie in for a hug before they went. She didn¡¯t stop there, either. She teetered across the carpet in high heels and wrapped me up tight in her arms. She smelt like bright floral perfume, and the touch of her bare arms against my skin was a delight. It would have usually been enough to drive me crazy. But it didn¡¯t. Not this time.


    I didn¡¯t feel even the slightest hint of attraction to the girl in my arms, despite the fact she was cute, young, sweet and quirky. Not a thing. I didn¡¯t get a hard-on, nor the desire to pin her to the messy bed and fist her tight little cunt. Nothing.


    The demons of addiction didn¡¯t show their faces.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± she said. ¡°I just can¡¯t believe we¡¯re here with you. It¡¯s amazing.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re very wee,¡± I told her, and before she pulled away, I used the opportunity to whisper a request, since Rosie was speaking with Peter. ¡°I need to talk to you actually. I need your help.¡± She was startled, pulling away to look up at me.


    ¡°Are you ok?¡± she whispered back.


    ¡°Yes, yes. I just need some of your time in private, please. Just for a chat. Nothing ominous. Not in the slightest.¡±


    ¡°Sure,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯ll make sure we get some timeter.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    We waved them off down the corridor, and Rosie was like a whippet into the shower as I chased after her. We soaped ourselves down, and dried each other with grins before getting ready. Rosie styled and straightened her hair and put more makeup on than usual. Her eyshes were stunningly thick and fluttery behind her sses, and her lips were pink and glossy.


    She grabbed her new dress from her case, but all I saw was a sh of pink as she dashed on back through to the bathroom.


    ¡°No peeking!¡± she said again as my eyes followed her.


    I was ironing my new white shirt when she stepped back out. Her dress was pastel pink, and gripped her sweet little body like a glove, giving just a hint of her gorgeous little tits peeking out over the neckline. It was short, barely covering her beautiful ass, and the iron stopped dead in my hand.


    ¡°Does it look ok?¡± she asked with a twirl, and I put the iron aside so I didn¡¯t scorch my shirt to shit.


    The sparkle of confidence was there in her, mischievous. And there it was, just a hint of the Lilith I wasing to know so well. She knew she looked great. Finally. Her self-worth growing in her physicality, as well as her soul.


    ¡°Exquisite,¡± I told her, as she stepped on over. ¡°Be careful, or I¡¯ll have to take you back to bed again.¡±


    I could have happily yed filthy games with her all night long, but she picked up the iron herself and carried on with my shirt. I ran my hand down over the slope of her back as she did it, consumed by her perfection. Her sses were the most adorably sweet contrast. Words could do no justice.


    She held the shirt up for me when it was done, and I slipped it on. She buttoned it up for me with a cheeky grin.


    ¡°Show me your suit, then. I¡¯ve been waiting long enough.¡±


    ¡°My pleasure.¡±


    I dressed for her slowly, emphasising how powerfully I buckled up my belt. I knotted my tie in front of her, remembering my time as a professor, getting ready for my day. This suit wasn¡¯t like my regr ones, it was tailored in just the way it should be, fitting me perfectly. It was ck, and my deep green tie was a great contrast, entuating my eyes. I knew what looked good on me. I¡¯d had enough experience of using my appearance to my advantage.


    ¡°Will I pass?¡± I asked her, doing a silly twirl.


    My sweetheart giggled. ¡°You look so¡­ hot.¡± ¡°Just hot?¡±


    ¡°Gorgeous,¡± she said, ¡°absolutely gorgeous.¡±


    ¡°Guess that makes two of us. Let¡¯s get our shoes on.¡±


    Watching her slip into her heels as I tied myces was enough to give me a hard-on.


    ¡°You¡¯re a beautiful girl,¡± I said as she took my arm.


    ¡°Your girl,¡± she said, reaching up to kiss me.


    I was so proud to have her beside me as we walked through the hotel to join Peter and L at the bar. They were sitting on stools together, hand in hand, so deep in conversation that they didn¡¯t see us approach at first. It was lovely to see the bond between them, so natural.


    ¡°Shit, didn¡¯t see youing,¡± Peter said, and pped my back.


    L nted a kiss on my cheek before hugging Rosie. There was no superficiality about us being together, just friends enjoying each other¡¯spany. And that¡¯s what we did.


    We drank champagne with a cheers, before we moved to the restaurant, where we enjoyed some more. I put everything on my room tab, despite the protests, and we indulged in a glorious menu, with excellent desserts. Rosie¡¯s strawberry rode matched her dress like a dream.


    It was towards the end of the meal  as the room was filling up with more guests  that I began to notice the nces we were getting from fellow visitors. Not least Rosie and L, who were clearly hot little minxes, but immune in their innocence. I felt the beginnings of jealousy stir with a racing heart, driven by a primal urge to let the world know she was mine, but I kept it at bay, still chatting and drinking as though I wasn¡¯t carefully observing every single nce my angel was receiving.


    ¡°What next?¡± Peter asked when we were done. ¡°Club, right?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I told him. ¡°Time for a cab.¡±


    The receptionist ordered one for us as we waited outside, L and I enjoying a cigarette before the taxi pulled up to take us into the city. The club looked as good as the pictures had shown, bright lights, and bouncers on the door, with a woman inside directing us up into the VIP room. The ce was thrumming with rich ambience, and Rosie, L and Peter were spellbound all over again. I soaked in their enjoyment, as well as my own. ¡°Cigarette?¡± L asked me when we were done with our first round of drinks, and gestured me out onto the balcony, where I apanied her. She wasted no time, asking me about my earlier request before she¡¯d even taken out her lighter. ¡°What was it you wanted to talk to me about?¡±


    It still felt strange to voice it out loud.


    ¡°Some artwork,¡± I said. ¡°I was hoping you could work on a cover design for me, but I¡¯d like you to keep your work a secret, if possible, please?¡±


    She did a little bounce on the spot, once my request had registered. ¡°For real? You want a book cover? For one of your thrillers? Oh fuck. That¡¯s awesome!¡±


    I shook my head. ¡°No, no. Not for a thriller. I¡¯ve been working on a different project, actually. A novel called The Girl Downstairs.¡±


    Her eyes were magnificent, as was her smile.


    ¡°Oh my God! About Rosie? You¡¯ve got the dirty bits in it?! Whoa, fuck. You have!¡±


    ¡°Some of them, yes,¡± I said with a smirk. ¡°But there is a lot more to it than those. Call it a forbidden romance, if you will. But there is a great amount of romance in it, alongside the filth.¡±


    ¡°Holy shit. You¡¯re serious? You¡¯re going to publish a book about Rosie?!¡±


    ¡°Quite possibly, yes.¡±


    ¡°Does she know?¡±


    ¡°Not yet. She has no idea. Which is why I¡¯m mentioning this to you in private.¡± I took a drag of my cigarette. ¡°So, I¡¯ll need a cover. Would you be able to design one for me, and keep it a secret until I¡¯m ready to use it?¡±


    ¡°Hell yeah, I¡¯d love that.¡± She crossed her fingers and held them up. ¡°And I¡¯ll keep it quiet. Promise.¡±


    We talked about the basic outline while we smoked, and we were done with the initial ideas when Peter stepped on out to join us. His timing was good. ¡°Was going to ask if you wanted another drink,¡± he said. ¡°Rosie¡¯s just off to the bathroom. I thought I¡¯d get them in.¡±


    ¡°Just finished actually,¡± L said, stubbing her cigarette out.


    I did the same and we returned inside together, heading straight back to the bar. The ce was busy, but not busy enough that my eyes didn¡¯t seek out my goddess immediately, already having returned from her bathroom trip. She was talking to a guy who was leaning into her, cocky, with his arm on the bar top, and she was nodding,ughing, chatting with him. Oblivious.


    ¡°Bloody hell. Didn¡¯t take him long to try it on with her,¡± Peterughed over the music. ¡°Still, they probably think we¡¯re out with our kids, not our girlfriends.¡±


    ¡°Stop it!¡± L said, but he was right. They likely did. Especially with me and Rosie.


    ¡°Excuse me, please,¡± I said to the pair of them, and marched on ahead like a man possessed, striding straight on over to the suited idiot trying it on with my girl. I wanted to tear him away from her and throw him across the room, but managed to keep some semnce of calm, taking her hand in mine on the bar top.


    ¡°Hey, sweetheart.¡±


    ¡°Hey,¡± she said, and kissed my cheek, but that wasn¡¯t enough for me. I met the guy¡¯s eyes before I took Rosie¡¯s chin in my hand and turned her face to me, possessively. I kissed her like we were in the bedroom and not at a club bar, my tongue a beast as it danced with hers, lost to everything but how much I needed her, and how desperate I was for the club to know about it. I would have screamed it from the rooftops, right across the city from a loudspeaker, just to let the world know that the goddess in my arms was mine.


    No shame. No remorse. No lies.


    Rosie was mine.


    The sweet little girl  goddess  was all mine.


    The idiot was gone when I broke the kiss. Her lips were puffy and gorgeous as she wrapped her arms around my neck.


    ¡°Do that again, please,¡± she said with a flutter of hershes, not giving a fuck that the club was watching, and that L and Peter had long arrived back at our side.


    ¡°My fucking pleasure,¡± I said, and kissed her so hard that even L called out get a room!

 Chapter 142

    JULIAN


    Seeing the girls¡¯ faces as they soaked up the energy of the club was magical. Seeing the way Peter smiled at L like she was his whole world was a mirror of my own adoration for the angel at my side. Rosie was a goddess in pastel pink, her fakeshes a fluttery delight, mixed in with her trademark sses, shining with sweetness.


    A club of this calibre, thrumming with city nightlife, was my usual kind of environment. Something I¡¯d been used to for years. It was a luxury and ambience I¡¯d written off as nothing, just as I had written off my life all those months ago.


    It¡¯s funny how much more you appreciate things once you¡¯ve gone through the pain of losing them.


    I definitely didn¡¯t want to lose anything else, and my senses were on high alert about it.


    The risk of losing Rosie was there for me in vivid colour as I saw the looks she was getting from men around the room, but she was so caught up in our little crowd that she hadn¡¯t the slightest idea how much of a yground she was in, or how much attention was rife around her. The same was true of L.


    They were oblivious as they walked off to the bathroom together.


    ¡°Thanks again,¡± Peter said when they were gone. ¡°This is fucking awesome. Beats the shit out of being back at home.¡±


    Yes, it did. Home. The ce I¡¯de to know as home, but wasn¡¯t. I wasn¡¯t suited to Crenham, and neither was Rosie  this trip had already affirmed that to me. Rosie didn¡¯t realise it yet. And maybe she wouldn¡¯t want to. Not with her mother estranged.


    If only Beverly could see just how highly I held her daughter on the pedestal of the divine, I was sure Rosie could find out. Bridges needed to be built, and quickly  for Beverly¡¯s sake as well as Rosie¡¯s.


    Luckily, a man always has his means. I just hoped my efforts would be worthy enough.


    I watched Rosie reappear from the bathroom with L, arm in arm as they leant into each other and chatted.


    ¡°We¡¯re lucky guys,¡± Peter said.


    ¡°Indeed we are.¡±


    All thoughts of Beverly disappeared when Rosie reached me. The Lilith in her was sparkling, heady. Her body turned right into mine as she leant in for another kiss, and yet again, I was done for. I wanted to tear her gorgeous dress off her and get to the perfect pale flesh underneath. My cock was already hard at the thought of her skin being marked fresh as mine.


    ¡°Another dance?¡± L asked her as soon as our lips parted, keen to interrupt us.


    We¡¯d already had enough get a room this evening.


    Rosie looked at me as though she needed my permission, but of course she didn¡¯t. My angel was free to explore her own heights and pursue her own joys.


    ¡°You don¡¯t need my permission, sweetheart,¡± I told her, and gestured to the dancefloor. ¡°Enjoy. Have fun. Rx. Party all night, if you want to.¡± ¡°Thanks,¡± she said, her joy radiating so obviously, making her even more beautiful.


    I shook my head at that, taking hold of her chin so her eyes were on mine.


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to thank me. I¡¯ll never hold you back.¡±


    ¡°Thanks again, then,¡± she giggled, and there was the Eve in her again, shining through. My beautiful, innocent girl. ¡°Youing?¡± she asked both me and Peter, but we shook our heads, clearly having the same thoughts.


    We wanted to watch our girls dancing, soaking in their full beauty from afar.


    There was something else running through my veins though, along with the joy at watching my angel fly with her own wings. Another paradox that was new to me.


    I despised my jealousy and possessiveness when it came to Rosie, yet I wanted to taunt it. I wanted to drive the beast so insane that I¡¯d pin her down and mark her body as mine beyond all reason. I wanted the passion to explode, out of control, and I knew that seeing her there, dancing in front of the horny guys wanting her pussy, would add filthy fuel to the mes that were already burning up inside me.


    ¡°Hey, dreamer.¡± Peter was tugging my arm, offering me what looked like a triple whisky.


    ¡°It was my round,¡± I said.


    ¡°You¡¯ve paid for enough, mate. I¡¯ll get the drinks tonight.¡±Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    I took the ss, and nced over to the girls. One guy, not much older than Rosie, was dancing behind her, his eyes on her ass as she swayed her hips.


    I saw myself punching him. Knocking him out.


    I saw myself putting Rosie over my knee and spanking that beautiful ass until she screamed for mercy.


    ¡°Cheers,¡± I said and downed the whisky in one long gulp.


    ¡°Fucking hell, mate,¡± Peter said. ¡°Same again?¡±


    I handed him the ss. ¡°Yes,¡± I said, better judgement cast aside, my demons rising through the mes.


    L and Rosie danced together in their own little oblivious bubble, enjoying the night. It was a perverse bliss to watch them. And pure hell to watch the men edging closer, wanting their cunts and nothing more, each passing minute my inner fire burning fucking merrily as I drank my whisky.


    It was bizarre.


    Perverse for sure.


    Torturous hell and a weird sense of heaven.


    I was on the verge of heading over there and iming her afresh in front of them, but I didn¡¯t need to. As thetest tune began to shift into another, the girls came back to the bar arm in arm.


    ¡°That was awesome,¡± Rosie said, out of breath as she sat on the barstool next to me, and the sweet Eve switched to the lustful Lilith before my eyes.


    She ran her hand up my thigh as I kissed her, teasing my crotch with her fingers, but no. It was me who wanted to control the pleasure, hers over mine. I shunted her barstool closer, and the darkness of the club made it easy to slip my hand up her dress. She spread her legs to allow me to brush her clit through her panties, just a tease.


    ¡°Can we go now?¡± she said in my ear. ¡°I want to go back to the hotel.¡±


    I leant in close, my mouth hot against her ear. ¡°Is your sweet slut cunt desperate for it?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t hear her sigh over the music, but the reaction was there, the slight shudder, the exhale, her hands reaching for my jacket.


    ¡°I love it when you¡¯re like this. You make me feel like such a dirty girl.¡±


    ¡°You like that, don¡¯t you,¡± I said, looking deep into her wide and beautiful eyes. I pushed her sses up a little and Christ, I could have fucked her right there.


    ¡°I like it a lot,¡± she said, ¡°we really should go now.¡±


    I downed the rest of my whisky, and then I turned to Peter and L.


    ¡°We¡¯re heading off. Are you joining us?¡±


    But it seemed not. L was trying to pull Peter to the dancefloor, and the grin on his face showed she was winning.


    ¡°Nah,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ll get us a cabter.¡±


    We shared brief hugs, my minx as desperate to leave as she imed to be. She gripped my hand tightly as we descended the stairs together, pressing against my side as we reached the street and hailed a cab. I didn¡¯t give a fuck about the driver witnessing us in the rearview mirror. I teased Rosie¡¯s pussy under her dress right the way back to the hotel, barely even registering when we pulled up outside the entrance.


    She was already out on the kerb as I paid the driver, gripping my hand in a vice as I joined her. She barely waved at the receptionist, so keen to get upstairs that she practically bounced into the elevator, her hands in my hair and her mouth hot on mine as we ascended.


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t take any more,¡± she whimpered as I pressed my thigh between her legs.


    ¡°Any more what?¡± I asked, pushing her against the wall and grinding my thigh so roughly it must have hurt.


    ¡°Seeing all those girls looking at you. I was so jealous, it was insane.¡±


    I pulled back from her at that, staring, dumbfounded.


    ¡°What?¡±


    Sheughed. ¡°Come on. Don¡¯t pretend. You saw them. They thought you were so hot they were practically drooling. The whole bunch in the corner were staring at you all night.¡±


    But I hadn¡¯t seen them. I hadn¡¯t got a clue.


    Extraordinary.


    Usually, I¡¯d have spotted every single girl with a willing pussy in a fiftymile radius. I¡¯d have been scouting them out as though they were potential meals on a filthy tter. But I hadn¡¯t given them a thought. All of my thoughts had been on Rosie and the men looking at her.


    My princess pulled me closer, grinding against my thigh.


    ¡°Don¡¯t ever choose them over me, please,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯ll be better than any of them, I promise.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to promise me anything,¡± I said, stroking my thumb over her flushed cheek. ¡°You¡¯re already better than them. That goes without saying.¡±


    The elevator pinged on the top floor at that, and there we were, in another dimension  walking along the absolute antithesis of our usual shitty hallway. This ce was the perfect high to Crenham Drive¡¯s pathetic low. A stark and palpable contrast.


    Rosie didn¡¯t seem to care about that anymore, though. It was all about me.


    She was already pulling at my tie as I used the key card to let us in. She was loosening the knot before I¡¯d even got the lights, as needy as I was.

 Chapter 143

    The tension between us was alive. Unfightable. Undeniable. And at the sight of the hunger in her eyes, my fiery demons rose, brave, emboldened. I pictured the men eyeing her up across the club. The guy dancing close, eyeing her cute ass. The idiot leaning in close, trying to make conversation at the bar before I¡¯d stormed in like a man at war.


    ¡°You¡¯re not the only one who¡¯s fucking jealous,¡± I said, letting the full force of my feelings m home. ¡°Every other cock in the world can burn in hell. You won¡¯t ever be taking any but mine.¡±


    I tore her dress down from her tits, and her tiny nipples were already hard. I needed to see my marks on her, so I pped them nice and hard, making them brighten, pink.


    My Lilith moaned, presenting them higher for more.


    ¡°I want to be yours,¡± she said. ¡°Use me like I¡¯m yours, push me like I¡¯m yours, love me like I¡¯m yours.¡±This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org.


    Fuck!


    I pped her again. More fresh pink. It matched her dress.


    ¡°Get on the bed,¡± I said and she did as she was told. She didn¡¯t even take her heels off, spreading her legs wide and squirming so her dress was up around her waist, exposing her whitece panties, so wet.


    ¡°Show me your cunt,¡± I said.


    She grinned at my words. A filthy grin as she tugged her panties to the side. Her pink slit was glistening through the ghosting of hair.


    I shrugged my jacket off and it was my turn to grin as she slipped two fingers into her needy hole.


    I didn¡¯t need to tell her to fuck herself. She fingered her cunt like a good girl and stared with sparkling eyes as I discarded my clothes. Those eyes fixed on my raging hard-on as I opened my suitcase and scooped up the filthy toys I¡¯d brought with us. Dildos, rope, beads, lube, marker pens. I tossed them on the bed beside her and climbed up, wrestling her out of her dress, a fevered artist unwrapping a fresh, virgin canvas. I tugged her panties down and off, and then I buried my face in her pussy, spreading her andpping, getting her wetness, her stunning scent all over me. I wanted to breathe it in, swallow it, bathe in it.


    ¡°You¡¯re mine,¡± I said, looking up at her, my mouth dripping as I panted.


    ¡°Show me, then,¡± she said, and our bodies were in sync, running on pure instinct as I climbed up to pin her wrists together. She presented them, and I bound them tight, ordering her to keep them up and over her head as I took the first of the dildos and lubed it up.


    I didn¡¯t need to. She was so wet it slid right in. My dirty girl.


    I pushed it right in to the hilt, and wasted no time, pushing the anal beads into her ass one by one, filling her up as her dirty sweet hole swallowed them. I loved the sight. Loved the way her breaths hitched and her gorgeous lips parted. Loved the way her pped tits rose and fell.


    I used my thumb to push thest bead home. ¡°Grip those tight,¡± I told her. ¡°I want your cunt and ass nice and full for me, no matter how tempted you are to let them go. Concentrate.¡±


    She epted the challenge, shifting position and raising her legs higher, determined. The dildo stretching her. The finger-pull of the beads poking from her dirty hole. My sweet little innocent angel.


    I rubbed her clit, teasing, and she tipped her head back so fast that her sses skewed on her sweet face. Delightful. She looked so fucking innocent.


    I watched her, there in her beautiful, horny vulnerability, and returned to my thoughts of the men who¡¯d wanted her in the club. I imagined the fantasies they¡¯d been having. Imagining her sucking their cocks, and hoping to plough her tight little pussy like she was nothing but a conquest on a night out. But she would never be that. Not for anyone. She was all mine.


    All mine for all time. I liked the sound of that. It would make a good chapter heading.


    I kissed a path up her body as she wriggled. I sucked her tits into my mouth so hard I¡¯d leave marks, and she begged for more. I bit her, leaving a string of love bites across her corbone and on the underside of her arms, consumed. I¡¯d have happily covered her whole body with them, my head screaming MINE whenever theynded, but I arrived up at her face, captivated. I didn¡¯t straighten her sses when I kissed her sweet mouth. I wanted her messy and wild. Tainted.


    She kissed me back like she was starving for it, hitching even higher to keep the toys inside her like a good girl.


    I imagined the idiot who¡¯de on to her at the bar, ying with her tits, with her lying there for him instead of me  letting my possessiveness take hold. The alien feeling was bing familiar, and growing in power.


    I liked it.


    I took hold of the nearest ck marker pen, my mind whirring with a whole stream of filth I wanted to write. So many words for a perfect bruised canvas. My hand was shaking as I tried to decide.


    ¡°Do it,¡± my angel said. ¡°Make me a dirty girl. Make me a slut.¡±


    Slut. Yes.


    I wrote an S, ragged on her stomach, my hand clenched around the pen so tight I could have broken it. I attempted to write an L to follow, but the rise and fall of her breaths sent me insane. It was as though time sped up and slowed in unison, and I was there, in the thrill, with a crazed sense of possession beyond the remit of control. A zen moment. Falling into the abyss. A glorious abyss of possession. Love. Yes. This was my love. My true love for my sweet Rosie.


    I lost it, hands shaking, letters bing nothing but a frenzied mass of scribbles, all over her skin. SLUT. Her tits were covered, her stomach, and thighs. WHORE. She moaned out a fuck, trying to keep the toys inside her as I scrawled my way around her clit, CUM SLUT, peppering the aftermath with kisses. I followed the marker pen, my mouth as crazed as my scrawls.


    MY DIRTY BITCH


    MY ANGEL


    MY WHORE


    MY SLUT


    MY DIRTY GIRL


    The words were a crisscross around her neck when I moved up, and I didn¡¯t stop there. I couldn¡¯t. I took her chin in my hand and met her eyes, loving the way she gasped for me. And then I used the marker as a messy lipstick, leaving a trail down her chin as I finally threw it aside.


    Rosie tasted of ink and used pussy. She bucked up at me  as lost in the fever as I was  and I mmed the dildo in and out of her cunt so hard she cried out.


    Fuck, I needed to focus on my own dick, not a fake one. I kneeled up against the headboard and turned her ink smeared face towards me, sses still skewed.


    ¡°Show me how much of a good slut you really are,¡± I said. ¡°Earn my cock.¡± She bobbed her head to take me in her mouth, trying her best as I ploughed the dildo in her pussy to the same rhythm. Her legs were spread high, and she didn¡¯t have the use of her hands since they were bound, so she was subject to my every whim and every movement.


    Perfect.


    I fucked her face until she was gagging, but she kept on bobbing her head, staring up at me with flutteringshes through thick frames. I took her hair for extra leverage and used it, making her sweet young throat quack for me, and the fire was burning merrily, my balls tightening, ready to explode. But no. NO. I pulled away, leaving trails of spit from her mouth and smears of pen ink on my throbbing cock.


    I needed her cunt. I wanted my cum dripping from her slit like seedy nectar.


    The beads were still tight in her ass as I reced the dildo with my cock. I forced her legs even higher as I buried deep, knees to her tits, taking hold of her bound wrists to fuck her like a beast. I loved the sight of her, dirty with scrawls, and scribbles, and love bites. I loved her dirty face, so angelic and so smeared with her spit all over her chin.


    ¡°Oh God¡­¡± she said as I angled myself, moving against me. ¡°Please, yes¡­ yes¡­¡±


    I gave her deep, long thrusts that had her crying out as the pleasure ate her up, and her shuddering orgasm was too much for me to stand. The tightness of her milked me until I was cursing, shooting my load deep.


    She was a slick, sopping little Eve when I pulled out, but the anal beads were still all the way in. Good girl.


    I pulled them out one by one, slowly, fired up all over again as she gasped as each bead came free, and then I moved up close, eyes fixed on the final big bead as I eased it out.


    Her dirty hole winked as the bead popped out and my angel gasped all over again. Beautiful. My God, she was still gaping, just a little. I buried my tongue right inside there, deep into the true filthy pleasures, wanting everything I could get from her. Every single fucking thing.


    But I wasn¡¯t the only one of us who felt like that, clearly. Possessed. As she looked down at me eating her ass, the Lilith was back, and Rosie shifted herself up, heels against the bedsheets, struggling to rise with bound wrists as I watched her, fascinated.


    She managed raise into a kneel, and I joined her. Curious, and she almost toppled as she reached for the marker pen  clearly visible amongst the dark inky patch it had bled onto the white cotton bedding.


    My beautiful Rosie was a deviant state of ink, messy hair, skewed dirty sses, and quick breaths as she knelt before me. Her eyes were as needy and filthy as mine.


    Possessed.


    I wasn¡¯t the only one suffering from jealousy¡­ or love.


    I looked down at my chest as she struggled to write letters of her own, marking my skin.


    Hers were barely legible with her wrists bound.


    M I¡­


    N¡­


    E


    MINE


    I looked down as she cast the marker to the side, lowering her head to kiss every letter.


    Tingles flourished through me, behind each delicate kiss.


    Tingles of love and adoration.


    And she was right. It was true. I was hers.


    And she was mine.

 Chapter 144

    ROSIE


    The air seemed so much lighter when we pulled back into crenham, still in the dick sprayed car. We were all loving life as we unloaded the cases and went upstairs to the apartment. Peter was smiling at L, as though some kind of cloud had been lifted, and it was great to see.


    ¡°We¡¯ll do it again,¡± Julian said as he brought the coffees out from the kitchen. ¡°Maybe we could head to the coast next time? A paddle in the sea. Ice creams. Perfection.¡±


    ¡°That would be epic.¡± L grinned. ¡°We¡¯d have to get buckets and spades.¡±


    Julianughed. ¡°Yes. Although I have to say I¡¯m not much of a sand sculptor. I¡¯ll dig the moat as you three build the turrets, how about that?¡±


    The idea made me smile. I¡¯d love to be building a crazy castle on the beach. It had been years since I¡¯d been near the sea.


    L and Peter stayed for their coffees then got a cab back to Dine¡¯s Green. Julian didn¡¯t think delivering them back to their front door in a pervert sprayed car would help convince Peter¡¯s neighbours to stop being assholes about him, but at least now we were allughing about it, and Peter wasn¡¯t hanging his head in dismay. I just hoped it would continue. As they hugged us goodbye, I got the feeling that would be true. Peter¡¯s shame seemed to have eased away. And with it, so had my boyfriend¡¯s.


    Boyfriend.


    Seemed an odd word for the man nearly old enough to be my grandad. Manfriend maybe?


    Nah, if anything, he looked ten years younger than when I first set eyes on the man upstairs. Boyfriend would do nicely.


    ¡°Thanks again,¡± Peter said at the door. ¡°You¡¯ve no idea how much you¡¯ve helped me and L.¡±


    He hugged L tight before they walked out the door.


    My boyfriend hugged me tight once we¡¯d waved them off, letting out a long, contented sigh.


    ¡°Thank you for saving me, sweetheart. You¡¯ve given me a new sense of life I never expected to be feeling.¡±


    ¡°In what way?¡± I asked, even though I knew full well. Julian was a new man, no longer gaunt and haunted, confidence sky high.


    ¡°Hmm, one word¡­ emboldened,¡± he said.


    ¡°I think it¡¯s called love,¡± I said, running my fingers down his shirt. ¡°True love gives you that. I feel the same.¡±


    ¡°Emboldened by love,¡± he said. ¡°I like the sound of that.¡±


    ¡°And I like the feeling,¡± I said, ¡°you give me that, Julian. Confidence to¡­ I dunno, be myself.¡±


    He stroked a hand down my arm. ¡°Confidence to have the courage of your convictions. That¡¯s what it is. What we give each other. It¡¯s wonderful to see it in you. I¡¯m very proud of you.¡±


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I said, his words bringing a tear to my eye. ¡°I¡¯m proud of you, too. Talking about having courage. You¡¯re just¡­ amazing.¡±


    ¡°Look at us, getting all soppy.¡± He dropped a kiss on my nose. ¡°Maybe we should unpack.¡±


    ¡°How romantic,¡± I said. ¡°Let¡¯s not.¡±


    I took his hand and dragged him to the sofa, resting my feet up on the coffee table, and Julian joined me, no more words needed, just the easiness of silence. Of love.


    Julian was right. He¡¯d given me the courage of my convictions. I had no sense of fear at the prospect of college tomorrow. I felt invincible in my own skin, and I had Julian to thank for that. He could say I gave thanks far too often, but as far as he was concerned, I could never say it enough.


    ¡°Good job we managed to get the ink off your face,¡± Julian said, smirking. ¡°That would have received quite a few looks from the other residents at breakfast this morning.¡±


    It had been quite a scrub job in the shower. I¡¯d used every tiny scrap of hotel body wash, trying to get my face and neck clear. Luckily, we¡¯d managed it, but we hadn¡¯t had enough left over for the rest of my body, or Julian¡¯s chest.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    It felt way cool to know he had the remnants of MINE across his chest, under his shirt, blotched in ink. And it made me feel kinda special, still having all his filthy scribble on me, hidden beneath jeans and jumper.


    I was his and he was mine, and thank fuck for that. I squeezed his knee as I admired him.


    ¡°I¡¯d happily walk around with slut written on my face for you,¡± I said.


    Heughed. ¡°Lovely, thank you. Hopefully not in this apartment block, though. I doubt it would endear me to your mother or her friends.¡±


    I got a horrible pang in my stomach at the thought of Mum downstairs, wishing, WISHING she could just get a glimpse of how much Julian loved me. How he treated me. How he looked at me like I was his world. Because then, surely, it couldn¡¯t be so bad?


    Maybe one day.


    ¡°Should we hit the shower and get scrubbed clean before bed?¡± he asked.


    The thought of a refreshing shower was nice, but no. I wanted to see the MINE ink marks again, knowing they¡¯d already been there all day.


    ¡°Let¡¯s not wash it off just yet. I want to see it there, lingering like an old tattoo as you fuck me senseless.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re incorrigible, Rosie,¡± he said, and he needed no further encouragement.


    It was heaven, lying on his pristine white sheets, the MINE on his chest as fucked me.


    Made love to me.


    I slept like a dream, my college rm buzzing and rattling on the bedside table as I reached for my sses. I turned to Julian but he wasn¡¯t there, which wasn¡¯t unusual, but he wasn¡¯t in the kitchen making a coffee, or getting ready for breakfast. He was wrapped in a bathrobe, sitting at the table on hisptop, his fingers typing in a frenzy.


    ¡°Hey,¡± I said, still naked as I wrapped my arms around his neck from behind.


    I expected to see another dirty scene unfolding, but he minimised the app before I could see.


    ¡°Is that going to be a surprise?¡± I asked him, and he tapped his nose, turning to face me.


    ¡°Wait and see.¡±


    ¡°Is it a particrly dirty one?¡±


    He grinned as he tapped his nose again. ¡°As I said. Wait and see.¡±


    ¡°Well, I¡¯ll be looking forward to it. I¡¯ll be skipping all the way home.¡±


    I was practically skipping as I left, actually. The lightness in the air still continuing, even on a Monday morning. I was immune to all the sneers, and the whispers, just as I had been. But there was a quietness in my mind that had changed. I felt calm. Calm and happy.


    The courage of your convictions.


    I liked that a lot.


    L looked so happy, too, when I saw her at lunchtime.


    ¡°That trip did Peter loads of good,¡± she told me. ¡°He hasn¡¯t stopped smiling. He¡¯s been looking up restaurants in town, says he wants to invite you and Julian out with us, a treat from him.¡±


    ¡°That would be amazing.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, it would. So will sandcastles and ice cream.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking Tenby. I went there as a kid.¡±


    She high-fived me. ¡°Mind reader. I was thinking the same. So did I. I went there, too.¡±


    Somehow, I doubted Julian had ever been to Tenby. It could be a new experience for him. I¡¯d make sure I showed him the awesome amusement arcade. He could grab me a little teddy with the w.


    The afternoon¡¯s lessons went by easily, despite the fact we were approaching exam dates at lightning speed now. Revision was on the cards, sure, but I had someone to help me if I needed it. Julian was a college professor, after all.


    I wished I¡¯d be seeing L when the afternoon was done, but she was at a digital exhibition in the art block, so I left on time. The sun was bright, and my mood was light, and I was buzzing, keen to get home to find out what dirty treats Julian¡¯s fingers had been working on this morning, but no. My route home wasn¡¯t going to be clear.


    It wasn¡¯t the block seven idiots outside the garage today, it was Jayden, sitting on the bench. I wondered with the faintest hope if he was waiting to apologise and make things up with me after Mum had shouted at him, but his eyes were even more hateful than before, and I should have walked on by without a thought, screw what he would shout after me, but fuck it. I sat by him. I was done with bad feeling, from all sides.

 Chapter 145

    He wasn¡¯t expecting that. He looked awkward, staring ahead across the street and not at me.


    ¡°I know you were waiting for me,¡± I told him. ¡°Don¡¯t pretend you weren¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°How could you know that? I could have been waiting for anyone. You¡¯re not normally out of there for ages now anyway.¡±


    ¡°Stop trying to fool me, Jay. I know you were.¡±


    I found I was smiling, remembering all the times we¡¯d spent together. I could read him like a book.


    ¡°Whatever, Rosie. I do have other mates you know.¡±


    ¡°I know that, but you were waiting for me. I could tell.¡±


    ¡°How?¡±


    ¡°You always have a particr scowl when you¡¯re angry at me. Your eyebrows pit, like this.¡± He turned to me as I pulled a face, and despite his terrible mood he couldn¡¯t help himself. He shook his head, but he was smiling.


    ¡°I was going to tell you to fuck off.¡±


    ¡°Again? Wow. Aren¡¯t I lucky.¡±


    ¡°Guess you¡¯re getting immune since the whole of the estate wants you to fuck off right now.¡±


    ¡°Ouch.¡± I faked a heart wound.


    ¡°Yeah, well, true, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    I leant back against the bench, not letting his words get to me.


    ¡°They can want me to fuck off if they want to. Maybe I will one day.¡±


    His eyes were piercing. His smirk was a bastard. ¡°Maybe you¡¯ll fuck off in that cute little car of yours. I bet it was fun going away in it.¡±


    Ah, of course. I smirked back at him, still immune.


    ¡°It was you, wasn¡¯t it? You¡¯re skilled. You should be an artist.¡±


    ¡°Skilled enough that people know a fucked-up pervert was driving it.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, well. Get another can of spray paint if you want to. Do the other side.¡±


    I got up to leave, but he grabbed my arm, but this time there wasn¡¯t any violence in it.


    ¡°Wait a minute, will you?¡±


    I sat back down.


    ¡°Fuck,¡± he said, and put his hands over his face. ¡°Things are so fucked up.¡±


    ¡°With your dad? There¡¯s a surprise.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be a bitch. I¡¯m being serious. Dad¡¯s noting back now, for real.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think he was anyway.¡±


    Jayden dropped his head at that, and I realised he¡¯d had dreams. Of course he had.


    ¡°He¡¯s met someone,¡± he said. ¡°Some stupid bitch from up in Wrexham.¡±


    ¡°Wrexham?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. He went to hang out with some loser mates of his, and met her.¡±


    I wasn¡¯t surprised. I wouldn¡¯t want to even guess how many partners Scottie had had in his life. Largely behind people¡¯s backs. But that wasn¡¯t Jayden¡¯s fault. I felt sorry for him. He¡¯d had as many mothers as I¡¯d had fathers.


    ¡°He says she¡¯s different,¡± Jay said. ¡°But he¡¯s talking bullshit, as per. She¡¯s got four kids, and went to prison for dealingst year. He already says they¡¯re his world and call him Dad.¡±


    ¡°Sounds worse than here.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. And he¡¯s staying there.¡± He sucked in a breath. ¡°Could have at least picked somewhere posh to go. Might have had a rich stepmother.¡±


    ¡°Maybe.¡± I paused, then asked. ¡°Does my mum know?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. But she doesn¡¯t give a toss.¡±


    ¡°Really? Who said that?¡±


    ¡°She did, and everyone knows it. She¡¯s seeing Tom Mackley now. The guy from ckpole.¡±


    ¡°What the  Tom Mackley? Are you sure?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, Tom Mackley. Old guy. Daughter called Char who moved to Ronkswood.¡±


    I looked at him, trying to digest it.


    ¡°Mum is seeing Tom Mackley?¡±


    ¡°Yes. She¡¯s singing his praises every chance she gets.¡±


    ¡°At the Brewery?¡±


    ¡°Of course at the Brewery. That¡¯s where she is every night, when she¡¯s not at his ce.¡±


    My mum had a new boyfriend¡­ and I didn¡¯t know about it. A wave of relief washed over me, to know that Mum was with someone that wasn¡¯t Scottie. But it was still weird. Horrible. I¡¯d had no idea.


    I knew Tom Mackley, kind of. Mum was friends with his daughter, Charlee, or used to be. They worked in the same care home when I was still in primary school. I couldn¡¯t help but smile, because Tom was older than Julian. He had to be at least fifty-five. Probably older. He¡¯d been married from eighteen, but his wife passed away a few years ago, which was awful. I remembered Mum going to her funeral. I also remembered how Mum had said life would have been mega different if she¡¯d had people around her like Tom and Debbie growing up, and not her own mum and dad who¡¯d thrown her out like she was nothing.


    How ironic. Mum going for a big age gap herself¡­


    Maybe, one day, she¡¯d begin to see the strengths in mine.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said to Jay, and put my hand on his shoulder. ¡°I know things must be hell for you.¡±


    ¡°So you¡¯re sorry for me now?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve always been sorry for you.¡±


    ¡°Wasn¡¯t quite what I was imagining when I sprayed your car with a dick.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure I can forgive you.¡±


    ¡°I hope the prick you¡¯re with doesn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°I think you¡¯d be surprised. He¡¯s not quite like you think he is.¡±


    ¡°Whatever.¡±


    It was the same kind of crap as always, but I didn¡¯t re up, or walk away. I just sat there with him. It took him a few minutes to break the silence.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know why you haven¡¯t fucked off yet.¡±


    ¡°Because I care about you.¡±


    ¡°Despite the fact I hate your boyfriend and sprayed your car?¡±


    ¡°And threatened to kill me?¡± I added. ¡°Yep.¡±


    Heughed a sadugh. ¡°Thanks.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re wee.¡±


    ¡°Sorry I told you about your mum, if you didn¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s ok. I¡¯m d you did. Tom¡¯s nice.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, he seems it. Better than my dad.¡±


    I pushed my sses up my nose to get them straight, and looked at him fresh.


    ¡°Wow, that¡¯s quite something.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s true, though. We all know it. I just didn¡¯t want to believe it.¡±Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org.


    ¡°You still don¡¯t, I¡¯m sure.¡±


    ¡°Nah, but there¡¯s only so long you can lie to yourself before you know it¡¯s bollocks, isn¡¯t there?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Jay.¡±


    I saw him choke tears back, kicking at a stone on the ground. ¡°Your mum isn¡¯t a piece of shit, though, so I hope you make up with her. She deserves it.¡±


    So did I. It hit me then, how Mum was moving on. I just wished I could be a part of it.


    ¡°You should go now,¡± Jay said. ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve got sick prick waiting for you.¡±


    ¡°Sick prick? That¡¯s got a ring to it.¡±


    ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll spray that on his car next.¡±


    ¡°Would have matched the dick on the bo pretty well.¡±


    He smirked. ¡°Yeah.¡± He rubbed his eyes and took a breath. ¡°Seriously, Rosie, I¡¯m alright now. Just go. I¡¯m heading over to Mum¡¯s soon. She¡¯s cooking dinner.¡±


    ¡°Is she doing her onion mashed potato special?¡±


    ¡°Sure is.¡±


    ¡°Best get to it, then.¡±


    I knew his mum would be waiting with open arms.


    I hugged him before I went, wishing I was heading over to my mum¡¯s for dinner.


    Again, maybe one day.


    I almost cried when I walked past the front door, holding back the tears as I took the banister rail for the next floor, but I couldn¡¯t do it. I had to try. I took a breath and walked back there. Pausing outside, daring to hope.


    Please. I was holding my breath as I waited, pulse thumping as I knocked. Please. I hoped there wouldn¡¯t be screaming, or crying, just a chance to talk. Just one little chance.


    Please.


    I knocked again, listened out for her, pressing my ear to the door.


    Please.


    I didn¡¯t know what I¡¯d say, just something. Anything.


    Please.


    But she didn¡¯t answer.


    I knocked louder. ¡°Mum? It¡¯s me.¡±


    I knew she wasn¡¯t at work. It wasn¡¯t her shift time yet.


    ¡°Mum! It¡¯s me!¡±


    Still no answer.


    I put my ear back to the door and there was silence. No sound of the TV, or her talking, or anything. Just quiet. So maybe she wasn¡¯t in. I called up a message on my phone, and saw she was online. I dared to type.


    I saw Jayden. He said about Tom. I¡¯m really happy for you. I¡¯d love to meet him one day.


    I hoped for the typing icon, but nothing. She went offline.


    Fuck it.


    I paused at the top of the stairs before I went back home to Julian. I didn¡¯t want him to see me crying all over again, but it didn¡¯t make any difference. He still saw the tear marks when I stepped inside.


    ¡°Hey, sweetheart.¡±


    His arms were so warm.


    ¡°Mum¡¯s got someone. A guy called Tom. He¡¯s nice.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s good. I¡¯m very d for her.¡±


    ¡°Me too. I just wish she¡¯d told me herself.¡±


    ¡°Who told you?¡±


    ¡°Jayden.¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡± He stroked my cheek. ¡°Maybe she will tell you herself one day soon. Who knows? Fate can be very kind.¡±


    I grinned. ¡°Yeah, sometimes. It brought me you.¡±


    He held me tight, rocked me, soothed me. Made sure I was stable on my feet, and had let out the hurt.


    ¡°Fate¡¯s very, very kind,¡± I said, when I¡¯d gathered myself.


    ¡°And so are you. You¡¯re an angel.¡±


    ¡°Thanks.¡±


    ¡°On that note, take a seat, please,¡± he said, and gestured to theptop on the table.


    ¡°For the scene?¡± I managed tough. ¡°Not sure I¡¯m feeling all that horny right now.¡±


    Heughed back. ¡°No, no, I wouldn¡¯t expect so, but this isn¡¯t a dirty scene, don¡¯t worry. It¡¯s something rather different.¡±


    ¡°Different?¡±


    He had a strange look on his face. A beautiful one. Majestic, and loving. And nervous. Weirdly nervous. Something was going on.


    ¡°Sit down and take a look, please,¡± he said, and I did.


    He followed me, and called up a document. One I hadn¡¯t seen before.


    The Girl Downstairs the header said.

 Chapter 146

    JULIAN


    I looked at my princess as she settled down to read, pushing her sses up her nose as she gotfortable. I was feeling nervous, heart racing a little, my soul well and truly exposed in the words onscreen.


    I¡¯d been writing in the background for weeks, showing Rosie selected chapters  the filthy ones  but the majority were not. Especially not chapter one. The Girl Downstairs


    I¡¯d bared it all.


    The way my angel first appeared at my door, with the frantic rapping as she called for help. Her panicked breaths, the pleading in her beautiful eyes. The way I saw her beautiful, caring soul in that moment, and the way she always wore her heart on her sleeve. The way from that very moment I¡¯d have followed her into hell to keep her safe from evil.


    I¡¯d written about her loyal protectiveness as she took her mother¡¯s hands on the sofa, desperate to ease her pain. The way she¡¯d been so grateful for my help as she¡¯d wrapped her arms around my waist with a deluge of thanks that didn¡¯t need to be said.


    I¡¯d described her in crystal rity. From the sweet bobbing of her ponytail as she walked, to the cuteness of her dimples when she smiled. Her sweet addictiveugh, and the way she covered her mouth so adoringly when she got consumed by the giggles.


    The perfect pitch of her voice, and the tender whispers of thanks she gave far, far too often.


    She never needed to thank me. I¡¯d give her everything I had to give, just for one little sparkle in her light blue eyes.


    Chapter one was an outpouring of how Rosie had reached into my soul and brought me back to life, starting right from the moment she¡¯d asked for my help. How I¡¯d seen straight into her soul in return.


    My first glimpse.


    The glimpse that had changed my world and picked it up from the dregs of nothing.


    I lit up a cigarette at the window, but Rosie didn¡¯t look over at me, too transfixed as she scrolled. Her cheeks were blooming pink, and I could see the tears welling up.


    ¡°You¡¯ve turned me into quite a heroine,¡± she said, but I shook my head, flicking ash out the window.


    ¡°No, I haven¡¯t. No words could ever do you justice. This is purely an effort to capture your spirit on the pages.¡±


    She giggled. ¡°My sneakers aren¡¯t cute when they squeak on the corridor floor, Julian.¡±


    Iughed back. ¡°Oh, they are. It¡¯s the way you twist your feet just a little when you walk. It¡¯s always the left one.¡±


    ¡°And my coconut hair shampoo didn¡¯t smell that great. It was a crappy one from the bargain store.¡±


    ¡°It suited your hair. Delicate.¡±


    Her eyes met mine, and they were so alive it made my breath hitch.


    ¡°My hair doesn¡¯t look so great when I¡¯ve been tossing and turning in bed though, does it? You hadn¡¯t seen it at this point. I guess ites in ater chapter.¡±


    ¡°It always fans up, actually. Very cute. If I¡¯m lucky, I get to see it like a mousy brown halo when you¡¯re sleeping.¡±


    Sheughed. ¡°A bloody halo? Stop it. You¡¯re bigging me up.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± I said. ¡°Believe me. The book captures nothing but truth.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve written this as a book? An actual book?¡± Her eyes widened.


    ¡°Indeed, yes, but I can¡¯t take all the credit for it. It¡¯s been edited by one of my previous students. He was very impressed, which was lovely to hear. I half expected him to write it off as a poor effort and shelve it for my personal gratification.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m d you only half expected it, or you¡¯d never have sent it.¡±


    ¡°Yes, and you gave me the positive half of that expectation. It was all down to you.¡±


    She kept on reading, and I kept on watching. I could tell which parts she was reaching, purely by her expressions. I¡¯de to know them well enough. I saw her tears welling, and her dimpled smile, and the way she put her hand on her heart when something took her aback. Pink cheeks, and her daintyugh, and the way she¡¯d look up at the ceiling, just for a second while she pondered things.


    I just hoped I¡¯d captured it all nearly so well on the pages. If so much as a fraction of the adoration I felt for my angel had made it through into words, it would be a masterpiece.


    My editor had certainly sung some praises.


    I got her a coffee while she was still reading, and she thanked me, sipping without taking a break. I knew some of the dirty parts must be approaching soon, and sure enough, she grinned like a dirty little minx when she recognised scene number one.


    ¡°I know this bit.¡±


    ¡°Yes. You know plenty of them.¡±


    Her grin disappeared soon after, and again I knew which point she was up to. She was reading about the deep depths of my protective rage, and my willingness to m the knife into Scottie¡¯s ribcage as I threatened his life.


    I was sitting on the chesterfield at this point as she looked over at me. I expected questions on whether it was really like that, but she didn¡¯t have them. She didn¡¯t need to ask. She already knew. Just as I knew what she would say in return, as always.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± She didn¡¯t let me say you¡¯re wee before she continued talking. ¡°Honestly, Julian, I was so scared. I really thought he was going to hurt us, both me and Mum. You saved us, and I wouldn¡¯t have been able to do it without you. Not any of this.¡±


    ¡°Touche, Rosie. Touche. I¡¯m as grateful as you are.¡±


    She wiped away a happy tear. ¡°You could never be as grateful as I am. You saved my life.¡±


    ¡°Again, touche, sweetheart. Touche.¡±


    I made us dinner while she kept reading. She ate carbonara at the dining table, not letting the manuscript out of her sight for even a moment, and I adored that, seeing how she was sucked into our story.


    It waste into the evening when she reached the end. Her face was blotchy from crying, and she leant back in her seat as the finale hit home,ughing like an angel with misty sses.


    She had one word.


    ¡°Wow.¡±


    ¡°Come here,¡± I said, holding out my arms, and she was straight on over, a delicate flower as I held her.


    ¡°It¡¯s amazing,¡± she said. ¡°You may have bigged me up like I¡¯m the greatest girl who ever existed, but that doesn¡¯t matter. It¡¯s an amazing story.This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org.


    Amazing.¡±


    ¡°I have an excellent editor to thank for that.¡±


    She pulled away enough to look me right in the eyes.


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m sure he¡¯s great, and I¡¯m sure he¡¯s polished it like a dream, but that doesn¡¯t make any difference. I know your voice. I know the way you sound, and the way you say it, and that over there on the screen, is you. You¡¯re the one who¡¯s talking.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because he¡¯s a very good editor. He keeps my voice intact, while getting his polish out. He used a lot of polish, believe me.¡±


    ¡°Say whatever you like.¡± She sighed so sweetly, and ran her fingers through my hair, climbing up into a straddle. ¡°So, are you going to publish it?¡±


    ¡°Do you think I should?¡±


    She rolled her eyes. ¡°I know you should.¡±


    ¡°And what about the filthy scenes? How would you feel about having them out there?¡±


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t give a shit.¡± Sheughed. Then stopped. ¡°Unless my mum read it.¡±


    Interesting.


    She brushed her lips against mine for a gentle kiss before she spoke again. I had to resist the urge to twist her ponytail in my hand and strip her naked on the spot, iming her like I had in the story.


    ¡°You know what?¡± she asked. ¡°Maybe L could make a cover for you. Honestly, she could! You know how good she is. You¡¯ve seen it. She could be amazing, and she wouldn¡¯t mind, for sure. She¡¯d love it.¡±


    ¡°Hmm. Quite.¡±


    I shifted her from me enough to get up from my seat, taking her hand for her to join me, and my smirk must have spoken volumes.


    ¡°What?¡± she said as I led her back to the dining table. She was wide-eyed before I¡¯d even called up the file. ¡°You¡¯ve already done it, haven¡¯t you?


    You asked her!¡±


    ¡°And she delivered. Better than I could have ever hoped for.¡±


    Rosie was open mouthed when I called up the image. It was beautiful. The dainty legs of a girl with a rose in her hand, so vulnerable, and so pure¡­ yet with a tone. A hint of the story inside. A picture can paint a thousand words, so they say.


    ¡°Fuck,¡± she said. ¡°That¡¯s just fantastic. The whole thing is just insane. It¡¯s INSANE. You have to publish this, Julian. For real, you have to publish this.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯d like that?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d love it! The whole world can read about how much of an asshole someone like Scottie can be then, too. Just a shame a lot of them won¡¯t find a saviour waiting for them in an apartment upstairs.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll think about it,¡± I told her, my nerves still slightly on edge, but I was swaying towards the goal of making the book avable to the public and I could feel it. The names would be switched out in a different draft, of course. Locations moved. No way of tracing the tale back to its real origin. But first, I needed someone else¡¯s agreement. I¡¯d need them to feel it, too¡­


    It was another prayer I¡¯d been holding tight for weeks. A prayer that would soon be answered, one way or the other.


    We fucked almost all night long. Rosie was insatiable as the emotions flowed as well as the filth. She begged and whimpered just the way I¡¯d captured in the novel, wanting more, more, more as I turned her into an angelic little slut before my eyes. We enacted scenes, flowing one into the other. From the sofa, to the shower, to the bedroom. Ropes, and marker pens, and the pulling of beads from her asshole so slowly that it drove her wild. I came inside her sweet cunt three times over, filling her up through the night. I licked her clean, and she finger-fucked herself, pushing it deeper and deeper.


    And then together, in the aftermath, cleaned up and ready for bed, we watched the dawn beginning to bloom through the bedroom window, curtains open.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to be absolutely knackered at college today.¡± Sheughed. ¡°And you just wait until I see L. I can¡¯t believe she managed to keep such a big secret.¡±


    ¡°She was under a serious pinky promise. Believe me. She¡¯s been desperate to see your reaction. Give her a huge hug from me when she does.¡±


    ¡°I will do, don¡¯t worry about that. She¡¯s made me look like a dream.¡±


    ¡°Because you are, sweetheart.¡±


    The question now was whether the world would get to see it, but only time would tell. Time and the sense of morality I thought I¡¯d cast aside into the trash, beyond all redemption, but no. It seemed I still had some left.


    The publishing of this novel would alsoe down to a woman called Beverly.


    I was feeling the nerves already, but tried not to show it, grinning proudly at Rosie when she walked into the kitchen, dressed for college.


    ¡°It¡¯s gonna be warm today. Think I can get away with this look?¡±


    Her shirt waspletely undone. The word SLUT scrawled across her stomach.


    ¡°This is why I love you so much,¡± I said, shaking my head at her.


    ¡°Gonna spank me for being naughty?¡± She put her hands on her hips, just as soon as she¡¯d pushed her sses up her nose.


    I hugged my angel instead. And then I buttoned up her shirt.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± she said and kissed me.


    I doubted Rosie would have forced herself into college if she didn¡¯t have exams looming, just mere days away. And of course, she was excited to see L.

 Chapter 147

    Onest hug before she slung her backpack over her shoulder and set off for the day.


    And then it was just me. Waiting. Nothing new to write. Just me and my thoughts. Waiting.


    Nine a. m. turned to ten a. m., and my nerves increased. Waiting. Ten turned to eleven, and my nerves were growing more jagged. I found I was pacing between cigarettes, hope fading fast. Until I heard the tap of knuckles from outside.


    I thought I¡¯d prepared myself to answer the door, responses ready for whatever reaction awaited me, but they all faded to nothing when I came face to face with Beverly in the flesh, standing there before me with the printed pages gripped in her hands.


    ¡°Can Ie in?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Of course,¡± I said and stepped aside.


    Her eyes roved around the ce.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t expect it to be like this in here. Looks like a pce.¡±


    ¡°Thank you. I¡¯ve tried my best. Your daughter was quite an asset on that score, she has a great sense of style.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, she does. Just a shame she never got a chance to express it with me. We¡¯ve always been too skint.¡±


    She looked down at the papers in her hands, and I became nervous again, blustering out an offer of a drink as I slipped past her on my way to the kitchen, but she took hold of my wrist as I went, meeting me with piercing eyes, exactly the same light blue as her daughter¡¯s.


    ¡°Is this true? Is this how you really feel?¡±


    I looked down at chapter one in her hands.


    ¡°Yes, it is. It¡¯s exactly how I feel.¡± I dared to smile. ¡°I hope you can tell that from my words.¡±


    My pulse thumped with relief as Beverly smiled back. ¡°I love how you put in the hand thing she does when she¡¯sughing. Hardly anyone sees that. And you know what? I¡¯ve offered to get her sses frames tightened a thousand times at the opticians, but she never wants to. It¡¯s a habit now, pushing them up her nose. It makes her her.¡±


    ¡°Yes, it does. It¡¯s adorable.¡±N?vel(D)rama.Org''s content.


    ¡°Yeah, it is.¡± She let go of my wrist. ¡°I¡¯ll have a coffee, please. One sugar.¡±


    ¡°Coming right up.¡±


    She followed me into the kitchen, still scoping the ce out. She grinned as she saw a note Rosie had written for me, fixed to the fridge with a ma. Love youuuuuuuuuu.


    ¡°This is the real deal, then? How you feel about Rosie and how she feels about you?¡±


    I didn¡¯t hesitate to answer.


    ¡°Yes. Absolutely.¡±


    ¡°And what about the things they say at the pub? That you like fucking college girls, and you¡¯re a cheating asshole? Is that true?¡±


    I admired her bluntness, and I showed my honesty as I handed over her mug.


    ¡°It used to be. Yes. I could call itplicated, but there is no excuse for it. Everything in life can beplicated. We all make our own choices, and our own mistakes.¡±


    She tipped her head. ¡°That¡¯s true. I¡¯ve made plenty.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you have, but I don¡¯t imagine you¡¯ve been fucking college girls behind your wife¡¯s back, only to be disgraced and caught out.¡±


    ¡°Banished, yeah? That¡¯s why you ended up here.¡±


    ¡°Yes. It is.¡± I took a breath, determined for the full truth to be exposed. ¡°Actually, I was nning on ending my life, before your daughter showed up. I have a lot to thank her for.¡±


    ¡°Ending your life? That¡¯s a bit drastic.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s where I was at the time. Rosie made that better.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s a great girl.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s an angel. I¡¯m sure you are very proud to be her mother.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I am.¡± She had the same kind of dimples as Rosie when she smiled. The same welling of tears in her eyes as the emotions caught her. ¡°I missed her so bad.¡±


    I noted the past tense.


    Missed.


    ¡°As did she. A huge amount. She¡¯s been desperate for you.¡±


    Beverly put chapter one down on the side and wiped her eyes. She cleared her throat, choking back more tears.


    ¡°So, tell me. Is Rosie really the miraculous girl who changed you? I¡¯ve heard that kind of bullshit plenty of times. You¡¯re the one and only, so different, h h h.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you have. But Rosie is a truly miraculous girl. She¡¯s not h h h. She couldn¡¯t be.¡±


    ¡°Would you have really stabbed Scottie in the ribs for her?¡±


    My heart was truly racing now.


    My stare was right on hers as she carried on.


    ¡°You would have done it that morning? Honestly? You¡¯d have killed the piece of shit to keep her safe, damned with the consequences?¡±


    ¡°To keep you both safe. Yes. I would. And he knew I was serious. Hence he upped and left like the true piece of cowardly shit he is.¡±


    She sighed. ¡°I didn¡¯t have a clue about that, you know. I kidded myself that Scottie and me had our problems, but they were spats, and he got heated, and he¡¯d always apologise. Said he¡¯d get therapy. Said things would change, and they would for a bit.¡± Her brows tensed. ¡°I fucking hate him. I¡¯d stab him in the ribs myself for what he did to Rosie that night.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you would.¡±


    Her eyes didn¡¯t leave mine.


    ¡°Thank you. For keeping her safe.¡±


    ¡°I always will.¡±


    She gestured back to chapter one. ¡°That¡¯s pretty obvious, if those words are true.¡±


    Beverly let out a long breath. I could feel her calming down in my presence, and I calmed myself, feeling strangely at ease. There was no hostility emanating from her, no rage, or finger pointing, or threats. She just sipped her coffee and looked at me.


    I didn¡¯t push her, or ask her for forgiveness, or approval, or anything. Her reactions were up to her, and I¡¯d support them. She was Rosie¡¯s mother. I had no ce to influence her, other than offer the truth.


    ¡°I love your daughter,¡± I told her. ¡°On my life, and her life, Beverly, I love your daughter, and I would do anything to keep her safe. Anything.¡±


    Fresh tears sprang up in her eyes.


    ¡°Then take her away from this ce, please. Take her away from here. From this shithole, this crappy estate, from this block and all its bullshit, all its everything.¡±


    ¡°Sorry?¡±


    Her gaze was so real. So true.


    ¡°Please, Julian. If you love my daughter like you say you do, then take her away from here and give her something more. Will you do that?¡±


    I was surprised by her request, but I didn¡¯t hesitate.


    ¡°Yes. I¡¯ll do that. If she¡¯lle with me, I¡¯ll take her anywhere she wants to go.¡±


    ¡°You promise?¡±


    ¡°I swear.¡±


    She smiled at me. Rosie¡¯s mother smiled at me, like I was a hero and not a viin. It meant so much that I felt my own tears welling.


    ¡°So, where¡¯s chapter two, then?¡± she asked. ¡°You can¡¯t leave me hanging after chapter one.¡±


    I raised my eyebrows. ¡°Seriously? You¡¯d like to read more?¡±


    ¡°Hell, yes. I think anyone would.¡±


    My heart swelled. Proud. But my trepidation tingled around the edges.


    Iughed a nervousugh. ¡°I¡¯m afraid things get a bit raunchy after chapter one. I¡¯m sure you don¡¯t want to read about that.¡±


    She grinned back at me. ¡°You¡¯re blushing,¡± she said and I felt my damn cheeks burning up.


    ¡°Sorry,¡± I said, ¡°it¡¯s just, yes, it¡¯s a bit¡­ explicit.¡±


    She rolled her eyes. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll skip those parts.¡±


    ¡°I mean, really explicit. Kind of, kinky, and¡­¡±


    ¡°Seriously Julian,¡± she said and she sounded so much like Rosie. ¡°Get over yourself and let me read it. I¡¯m not as vani as you might think.¡±


    I was beaten and I knew it. In for a penny, in for a pound, as the saying goes.


    My heart was racing all over again as I led her back through to the dining table, offering her a seat at theptop.


    ¡°Beverly, please be careful, there are different levels of explicit, and these ones can be¡­¡±


    She gave my arm a friendly p and rolled her eyes at me.


    ¡°Shut up about it. I said I¡¯ll skip those parts. I¡¯m sure they¡¯re great. I just don¡¯t want to read it about my daughter. She¡¯s eighteen now, it¡¯s up to her how kinky she wants to be, just so long as you¡¯re not a sicko who wants to fuck her over, that¡¯s none of my business.¡±


    Well, what a turnaround.


    Iughed. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll let you know the chapters before they appear.¡±


    As it turns out, they were a long timeing, and Beverly took the pages slowly,menting throughout, her reading interspersed with chatter and cups of coffee, until finally, we wereughing and joking. Comfortable, in spite of the circumstances. The hours sped by easily. So easily I lost track of the time.


    My heart leapt up into my throat when I heard the front door opening. Rosie called out a hey, I¡¯m home in a joyous tone and I heard her dump her bag in the hallway before she came bouncing into the room with a smile on her face.


    Oh my Lord, how she stopped in her tracks when she caught sight of Beverly at the dining table.


    ¡°Mum?!¡± Her tears sprang instantly, her sobs taking her chest. ¡°Mum? Did youe here¡­ to see me¡­ are you ok? Please say you¡¯re ok.¡±


    Beverly was up and on her feet in a sh, letting out a shhh before she took her daughter in her arms and held her tight, rocking her like she was her little girl. A treasure. She sobbed too as she kissed her head.


    ¡°I missed you so much,¡± she said.


    ¡°Me too.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for everything,¡± her mum said, and Rosie nodded.


    ¡°Me too.¡±


    Beverly pulled away at that, and brushed the tears from Rosie¡¯s cheeks, as I loved to do, smiling at her daughter like the angel she truly was.


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to be sorry.¡± She looked over at me, and Rosie followed her gaze. ¡°I¡¯m d you ran upstairs that night, love, and I¡¯m d you found him. The hero upstairs.¡±


    Rosie choked on her tears. ¡°Really? Yeah, well, so am I. I¡¯m really, really d I found the hero upstairs. I could never have found someone any better.¡±


    ¡°Steady on,¡± Iughed. ¡°I¡¯m not exactly a superhero.¡±


    ¡°Yes, you are,¡± Rosie said, smiling though tears. ¡°You¡¯re my superhero.¡± And Beverly  her mother  smiled along with her.


    I¡¯m sure my cheeks must have been burning bright as I smiled over at them, with the optimism of eptance like a bright sun in the darkness of my shame. I had to choke back tears of my own, blustering awkwardly.


    ¡°How about you two stay here to catch up?¡± I said. ¡°You must have a lot to talk about. I¡¯ll get some fresh air, and maybe some dinner forter.¡±


    ¡°That sounds amazing. Mum will love your steak,¡± Rosie said, and that sealed it. I grabbed my jacket and hugged my angel on my way through, giving another thank you to her mother.


    I sighed in crazy relief when I closed the front door behind me, still struggling to believe the pendulum of life could swing so extremely from one direction to another. Faith was a glorious thing  one I hadn¡¯t been all that blessed with for a long, long time  but chances are always there to be taken. Sometimes it just takes a little bit of bravery.


    And an awful lot of honesty.


    I knew where the post box was at the bottom of block two, with its crusty red paint that needed some attention, but still. It was in use.


    I closed my eyes, lingering as I rested the bundle of letters on the slot.


    Could I do it? Dare I risk it?


    Faith.


    Faith and honesty.


    Yes. I could.


    With that, I dropped the letters into the post box, and walked on by.

 Chapter 148

    ROSIE


    IT was such a familiar feeling, opening the door to mum¡¯s ce and stepping inside. The instinct was to say hey, Mum, I¡¯m home, but I had to stop myself. This wasn¡¯t home anymore. My home was upstairs.


    Heart to hearts could never be more powerful than the one I¡¯d had with Mum just over a week ago. Since then, we¡¯d been spending time together whenever we could around her work, and my revision. I¡¯d told her my story, and she¡¯d told me hers, and here I was. It was time to meet my mum¡¯s new partner.


    I was excited to meet Tom and see how happy they were together in person. I had more faith in him than in anyone else she¡¯d called her boyfriend, and I didn¡¯t even know him. The look in her eyes was different when she spoke about him. The glow around her was natural, and grounded, with nothing fanatical about it. Nothing but respect and quiet love.


    I was smiling brightly as I stepped into the living room to see him there next to her on the sofa. He looked way older than I¡¯d have thought pletely grey with some wrinkles around his eyes, but that made no difference. His eyes were so warm.


    ¡°Lovely to meet you, Rosie,¡± he said, and stood up to shake my hand, but fuck that. I was growing bolder at expressing my feelings by the day.


    I pulled him in for a hug.


    ¡°Lovely to meet you, too. Thanks for making my mum so happy.¡±


    He chuckled. ¡°No need to thank me for that. Your mum makes me a lot more happy than I could ever make her, that¡¯s for sure.¡±


    Somehow, I wasn¡¯t quite so sure as he was. He was making Mum the happiest woman on the, besides me. She was grinning when he took his seat back next to her. She took his hand as I sat in the armchair across from them, and gave a little squeeze. He squeezed hers back, and I realised that I wasing to read the tiny things in rtionships that make them so special. Looks between couples that say the unspoken. Shared jokes. Shared stories. Knowing each other and showing it in tiny gestures. Loving gestures.


    Yeah. I already knew I was going to like Tom. I could feel it.


    I knew Julian would like him, too.


    ¡°I¡¯ve heard so much about you,¡± Tom said.


    ¡°Ditto. Mum hasn¡¯t stopped talking about you. I even know what cereals you like.¡±Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDra/ma.O(r)g!


    Heughed back. ¡°You¡¯re a muesli girl yourself now, aren¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°Yep. Chocte hoops have no ce in my life anymore.¡±


    Neither had plenty of other things. Not least Scottie and the fear that despite everything he was going to worm his way back into Mum¡¯s heart somehow, but there would be no chance of that.


    I hadn¡¯t known she¡¯d called the police on him, finally. I¡¯d had no idea they¡¯d arrested him in Wrexham and taken him in for questioning  finding a whole load of drugs on him when he was put into custody. Served him right. There was no way he¡¯d make it out of there now. Not on any count. Mum¡¯s evidence was just too extensive, and drugs possession speaks for itself.


    I settled down in the chair a little more, ready to get a sense of Mum¡¯s new boyfriend myself. I wanted to hear it in his own words.


    Tom told me how he¡¯d crossed paths with her when he was out shopping with his daughter in town, and Mum was crossing the street with Trisha and Ramsay. He was grinning from ear to ear as he told me how he¡¯d plucked up the courage to ask her out after their long conversation, and I smiled along with him. I¡¯d heard this story from Mum¡¯s side, and hers was just as happy. She¡¯d told me about her nerves when she realised just how much she liked him, and worrying like hell he wouldn¡¯t feel the same. It was Trisha who had convinced her, actually. Trisha, not me, who¡¯d been close enough to assure her she was worth it.


    And here he was. Here with her now. Devoted.


    I loved the oue, and the boost it had given her self-esteem, but Mum¡¯s confidence in herself was growing all by itself, too. I could see it. The pride she felt in standing up and putting Scottie where he deserved to be was giving her a hell of a lot of faith in her own strength. Strength she¡¯d never known she had.


    ¡°Tell me, then,¡± Tom said when we¡¯d been talking awhile. ¡°When will I get to meet the book hero, Julian? I¡¯ve heard a lot about him, too.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but grin at Mum, loving how she¡¯d have been singing his praises. Her feelings for him had taken as far a 180 as they could go.


    ¡°Later, if you like,¡± I said. ¡°He¡¯s making a risotto for dinner. You¡¯d be wee to join us.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d love to, but I¡¯ve already baked a chicken pie for your mum.¡±


    I smirked. ¡°Yeah, Mum likes chicken. A lot.¡±


    ¡°Tom¡¯s pies are the best,¡± Mum said, then looked at him with another squeeze of his hand. ¡°His everything is the best.¡±


    Tom kissed her hand, and it was so nice to see. They were loved up, but it wasn¡¯t through rose-coloured spectacles. It was the joy in the caring of something so simple. The tiny gestures.


    ¡°You doing the pie with beans on the side?¡± I asked Tom, and he chuckled.


    ¡°Of course. And roasted potatoes.¡±


    ¡°Ace,¡± I said, and it really was.


    I had revision to do upstairs, so I couldn¡¯t stay all that long. My exams were all in progress, lining up sharp like a hurdles race, but I was doing ok. Dare I say it, I was even confident. I could do it ande out with good grades  just as L was doing great at her end of term exhibition presentations. She was smashing it. She¡¯d gotten a whole round of apuse from the room at the onest night, and I¡¯d been there with Peter and Julian, letting out cheers and whoops when she¡¯d wrapped up.


    Life couldn¡¯t be better. Seriously. It really couldn¡¯t.


    I hugged both Tom and Mum goodbye with a see you soon and went on my way, ready to practically dance up the stairs to Julian. I¡¯d closed Mum¡¯s door behind me, and reached the stairs on the way up when a sense of deja vu came over me in a wave  transporting me back in time to months ago when I¡¯d been caught in the same act. But it was still a crime then.


    I felt Trisha¡¯s eyes on me as she stepped out into the hallway with Ramsay, but this time I didn¡¯t panic, or back away, or feel guilty. I just raised my hand, with a smile on my face, even daring to say hi. This was the first time I¡¯d seen her since the great unveiling of chapter one.


    Mum said Trisha was still struggling with processing things anding to terms with the changes in our lives all round, so I figured she¡¯d have some tutting and fog horning to hurl in my direction, but no. I stayed still as Ramsay tottered on over, ruffling his hair as Trisha locked up their door. I was still standing there as she reached me, and she sighed, not tutted.


    ¡°I was looking out for your mum, and looking out for you, too. You might not think it, but I was.¡±


    I could have said so many things in response, criticising, and arguing how things with Julian had been none of her business, but underneath her know it all exterior, I could see the truth. In her version of reality  Crenham Drive  Trisha really did think she was looking out for us. That was only reinforced when she smiled.


    ¡°d your mum¡¯s finally out to get Scottie locked up. He¡¯s disgusting. Vile prick.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, he sure is.¡±


    ¡°Tom¡¯s much better. She said you¡¯re meeting him today.¡±


    ¡°Just did.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s nice, isn¡¯t he? She deserves it.¡± She looked right at me as Ramsay pretended to be an aerone, spinning around and making engine noises. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t answer the door that night, Rosie. I should have done. The thing is, Scottie threatened me, too, and I was scared shitless. I just couldn¡¯t. Not with Ramsay. I just didn¡¯t want to admit it. Just kept talking crap to myself about how he¡¯d get better, but nobody ever does, do they? Leopards never change their spots.¡±


    I didn¡¯t agree with her on that anymore. I¡¯d seen plenty of leopards changing plenty of spots these past few months, but I got her logic.


    Mum had already told me that Trisha had admitted Scottie had threatened her, just a few days ago. She was going to be called in as an extra witness if one was needed. So were Julian and I.


    ¡°You never said a word he was threatening you as well,¡± I said. ¡°Mum had no idea.¡±


    ¡°No. I didn¡¯t tell her. Didn¡¯t want to put more shit on her te. But maybe it would have helped. I dunno. It probably would.¡± She shrugged. ¡°Oh well. We¡¯ll never know now, will we? My fucking bad.¡±


    She went to walk away, but I stopped her with a wait, Ramsay still pretending to sail the clouds.


    ¡°How are you feeling about things with me now? Do you still hate Julian?¡±


    She shrugged. ¡°I dunno. Your mum says he¡¯s nice. Says he¡¯s helped you loads. She even tried to shove chapter one in my facest night.¡±


    I could imagine.


    ¡°Are you going to read it? Maybe it¡¯ll help you make up your mind.¡± ¡°Maybe.¡±


    ¡°Please do,¡± I said, and took my first step upstairs, but she gave me a wait this time.


    ¡°Do you really want that? After everything? Does it really matter what I think about the man upstairs?¡±

 Chapter 149

    I weighed that up, and no, it didn¡¯t. Not really. People could think what they liked about Julian, and it could be as bollocks as they liked, because their words wouldn¡¯t touch either him or me. Not anymore. But still. She was Mum¡¯s best friend, for her faults, and her small-minded ways, and her trumpet mouth, and I held true to my own beliefs  leopards can change their spots, and people can learn from their mistakes.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± I told her. ¡°It does matter what you think. And I¡¯d like that. I¡¯d like you to read chapter one.¡±


    She smiled, looking almost relieved.


    ¡°Then I¡¯ll give it a read. Your mum can bring it round when she¡¯s done with loverboy tomorrow morning.¡±


    ¡°Great. Thanks.¡±


    Ramsay got bored of his aerone arms so Trisha walked on after him, shooting me a final nce over her shoulder.


    ¡°I¡¯m happy you¡¯re happy. And I¡¯m happy your mum¡¯s happy, too.¡±


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I said again, and watched her leave, her leopard spots already changing just a fraction in front of my eyes.


    Wow. I wasing to be an optimistic person, and who¡¯d have ever thought it when I was holed up with Scottie and Mum before things took a turn for the better? With our beach break in Tenby looming, and a night out in Worcester city, and the signs of the grand move for Julian and me on the horizon, optimism was the only thing I could know. I was blessed. And so was Mum now. Thank God, so was Mum.


    Julian was waiting for me when I stepped through the door, just like always. He had a new shirt on which looked gorgeous. Dark green to match his eyes.


    ¡°Well, did you like Tom?¡±


    I grinned my head off. ¡°I loved him. He¡¯s great. Really, really great. He¡¯s even made Mum a chicken pie for dinner.¡±


    ¡°Excellent. I can¡¯t wait to meet him myself.¡±


    ¡°Maybeter, when they¡¯re done? I could drop Mum a message?¡±This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org.


    His piercing eyes met mine.


    ¡°I¡¯d love to meet your prospective stepfather, yes. He¡¯s wee over whenever you¡¯d like, as is your mother.¡±


    ¡°Steady on!¡± I said, realised I¡¯d used Julian¡¯s favourite words and then giggled and covered my mouth  just like I always did. ¡°I don¡¯t think we should be buying new hats just yet. A chicken pie isn¡¯t engagement fuel.¡±


    ¡°Steady on indeed,¡± he said, ¡°But it¡¯s got nothing to do with chicken pie. It¡¯s to do with you. With the faith shining through you, having seen him with your mother for yourself. I know you wouldn¡¯t give that easily, sweetheart. You¡¯ve had a lot of experience to judge it by.¡± He waved a finger at me. ¡°Don¡¯t even think of saying thanks for thatpliment.¡±


    I poked my tongue out. ¡°Thanks anyway. I¡¯ll never stop saying thanks and you know it.¡±


    ¡°Just as you¡¯ll never stop pushing your sses up your nose, no matter how fitted the frames get. It¡¯s a tiny one of the many, many things I love about you.¡±


    I dropped my bag on the sofa, took out my phone to type out a message to Mum, then cast my phone onto the coffee table before I dared to ask Julian the question. After his early hours admission a few nights ago, I couldn¡¯t not¡­


    ¡°Have you heard anything?¡±


    He carried on through to the kitchen, not meeting my eyes. Hurting. Scared. Heart on trial.


    ¡°No. Not yet.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s still early days, remember?¡±


    ¡°The postal service is very quick, Rosie, and you know it. I¡¯m not feeling all that optimistic, but at least I can say I tried. And maybe I¡¯ll try again one day, who knows?¡±


    I did. And I¡¯d be behind him every step of the way  helping him build bridges with the people he loved, just as he had with me. Feeling the pure relief of having my mum back in my life had only reinforced how much Julian must be desperate for his children, and his brother, and even some of his old friends. Damn, even Katreya, to an extent. After all, he had been ready to lose his life over losing them, and he would have done if I hadn¡¯t knocked on his door that night.


    ¡°You could drive over there, to Oxford,¡± I said, but he shook his head.


    ¡°Not if it would hurt them. It could burn bridges even further, and rightly so. Screams and hurt on top of hurt is thest thing any of them need.¡±


    ¡°But what about you? What do you need?¡±


    ¡°You,¡± he said simply, still trying to brave it through his pain.


    The risotto was ready to prepare, ingredientsid out in the kitchen. Julian started frying it up and I put the kettle on, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind.


    ¡°It¡¯ll be ok, you know. One day. They won¡¯t be able to live without you for ever.¡±


    ¡°I admire your faith in me. I¡¯m certain, however, that they¡¯ve lost theirs.¡±


    He¡¯d told me roughly what he¡¯d put in the letters to them, and how he really had opened his heart and offered it on a tter. If only they¡¯d take it. If only even one of them would so much as look at the olive branch he was waving and see him for the beautiful soul he was, despite his ws.


    I watched him cooking, and he turned the conversation back to Tom, keeping it there until our dinner was ready.


    ¡°Here¡¯s to us,¡± Julian said at the dining table with our risotto, holding up his juice ss in a toast. ¡°And to your mother. To Beverly and Tom.¡±


    Heughed out loud as our clink of sses was met with a knock at the door, and I realised my phone was still on the coffee table. I hadn¡¯t seen Mum¡¯s reply. Duh.


    Oh my God, here it was¡­ Tom and Mum meeting Julian together. All four of us. It felt like a major event, not just some people hanging out together.


    ¡°They can have some risotto if they¡¯re still hungry,¡± Julian said as he crossed the living room to answer, but I doubted that would be the case. I was sure they¡¯d be stuffed from Mum¡¯s favourite meal.


    ¡°Hey!¡± I called out as I heard the door open. ¡°Sorry! I missed your messages!¡±


    But there was no answer. Not so much as a sound. Nothing.


    ¡°Is that you, Mum?¡± I called out. ¡°Julian? Is that Mum?¡±


    Nothing. Only silence. And there was something in the air. Something tense and ominous, and enough to make my heart race. I was up from my seat, risotto forgotten as I dashed across the living room to find out what was going on, and standing there, in the open doorway was a man I¡¯d never seen before, but clearly recognised.


    How could I not?


    He looked virtually identical to my boyfriend, minus the stubble.


    I didn¡¯t know what to do, so just looked between a silent Julian and his silent brother, both of them staring at each other. I was hoping for a grand reunion, tears and hugs, but Julian looked choked up, confused, and his brother looked stoic, jaw gritted. He had a letter in his hand. The letter in his hand, no doubt.


    ¡°Are you going to let me into this shithole, then?¡± his brother asked him, without so much as shooting me a nce. ¡°We¡¯ve got a fuck of a lot to get talking about, don¡¯t you think?¡±

 Chapter 150

    JULIAN


    I stood before michael as he held the letter in his hand, and my stomach rolled over. He was suited, fresh from the office, in the same style I¡¯d been wearing myself for years, but he was a lot more muscr than I was. I was still gaunt inparison, and I felt it. For a fleeting moment I was a shell again, fragile before his stare. Instinct. But no. I wasn¡¯t a shell anymore. I was the total opposite.


    And that was down to my princess. The girl looking between us with nervous eyes.


    ¡°I¡¯ll, um, nip down and see Mum and Tom,¡± she said, and I held out a hand to her, ready to ask her to stay, but she shook her head, pre-empting me. ¡°I¡¯ll be back when you¡¯re ready. Just call.¡±


    She dashed off to grab her bag and phone, and I stood aside to let Michael in. It felt surreal to have him in this ce, so at odds with every other environment we¡¯d shared in our lives.


    ¡°I¡¯ll see youter,¡± Rosie said, squeezing my hand before she went. I pulled her in to kiss her head as she passed me by, and my brother looked away.


    In disgust. Pain. Shock. Maybe abination of all three. He¡¯d only ever seen me with Katreya, and our token, public facing gestures.


    ¡°I¡¯ll see youter, sweetheart,¡± I said to Rosie, and she was off, closing the door behind her after a token wave to my brother.


    Part of me wanted to grab hold of Michael and hug him tight. The emotion was already choking me, but Michael had never been an affectionate man, and neither had I. Any far off dreams I¡¯d had of sobbing in beautiful reunion were already fading as the dawning reality kicked in. Michael was still Michael, and I was still me.


    He was trying to stayposed, and I knew it. He was silent as I led the way into the living room. His jaw was still gritted as he looked around the ce, scathing, no doubt still in disbelief. The decor of the apartment was most certainly a lot more grand than it had been on my arrival, but it was a droplet of extravagance in a world Michael had never known.


    ¡°Would you like a drink?¡± I asked him.


    ¡°A whisky, you mean? I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve got plenty. But no, thank you. I¡¯m driving.¡±


    We really had been separated a long time.


    ¡°I was thinking a coffee, actually. I have your favourite.¡±


    ¡°Not going to be downing the shots yourself, then? You really are full of surprises, aren¡¯t you? If only we¡¯d have known about them sooner. Honesty would have been the best policy.¡±


    I stood still, shoulders tall as I kept my eyes on his. I saw my previous self standing there, guarded by a thick wall of ego, untouched. I¡¯d thought I was so happy, such a sess and a partygoer, with my seedy habits under the surface. I wondered if Michael had any of his own.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to be downing shots,¡± I said. ¡°I haven¡¯t been drinking. Not for a while. I¡¯m sure I said that in the letter.¡±


    ¡°And I¡¯m supposed to believe you? After everything else you¡¯ve been telling us for years?¡±


    I tried to make light of it. ¡°I prefer a ss of champagne to five straight shots of whisky these days. You can believe me on that, I assure you.¡± ¡°Well. Things really have changed in that case, haven¡¯t they?¡±


    ¡°Quite.¡± I pointed to the kitchen, beckoning him to follow me, but he cleared his throat and folded his arms, still clutching the letter tight.


    ¡°Some things haven¡¯t changed in the slightest though, have they? What a sweet little thing that was that just skipped away. Another sleezy conquest. Shame I didn¡¯t give you prior warning I wasing. You could have thrown her out before I arrived.¡±


    His words pissed me off, even through the pain and the shame of what I¡¯d done to him, and to my life in Oxford. Had he not seen the tenderness in the way I¡¯d held her tight and kissed her head? Seemingly not.


    ¡°Rosie isn¡¯t a sleezy conquest,¡± I told him. ¡°She¡¯s the very opposite.¡±


    ¡°What is she, then? The love of your life?¡±


    ¡°You said honesty is the best policy, so I¡¯ll hold to that.¡± I paused. ¡°Yes, she is.¡±


    He rubbed his forehead. ¡°Jesus Christ, man. I wish you could hear yourself. You really are out of your fucking mind.¡±


    I could hear myself loud and clear, actually, and I was speaking the greatest truth I¡¯d ever told him, but I couldn¡¯t hold any judgement over him for misbelieving me. I hadn¡¯t exactly done much to instil confidence. My dreams of open arms and understanding were shrivelling away. I thought I¡¯d bared my soul in the letters, but maybe my soul wasn¡¯t quite what they¡¯d taken from it.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get those drinks,¡± I said.


    I went through to the kitchen and my brother followed me. I took mugs down and put the kettle on, my stomach still rolling.


    ¡°Have you any idea how frantic we¡¯ve been? We¡¯ve been looking for you, you know?¡± he said. ¡°Have you any idea how terrified we¡¯ve all been for you?¡±


    No, I hadn¡¯t. His words made me stop what I was doing, searching his stare. ¡°Looking for me?¡±


    His expression darkened, and his jaw changed, trembling. And my brother  the strongest, most steel hearted man I¡¯d ever known  looked as though he was going to break down before my eyes.


    ¡°We thought you¡¯d have gone somewhere we knew, to someone who knew us, or used your passport, or your fucking business ount card, or anything. ANYTHING. But there was nothing! You didn¡¯t leave a single fucking trace!¡±


    His hurt was rooting its way through anger, and I didn¡¯t me him. I didn¡¯t me him at all.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think I¡¯d need to leave a trace,¡± I told him. ¡°After all I¡¯d done, I wasn¡¯t nning on staying around.¡±


    He held up the letter. ¡°Yes. I know. You made that in. Sitting here, plotting your own demise. Would you have truly done it? Ended your life alone here, with a pile of pills and a bottle of whisky?¡±


    ¡°I think you can tell that from my letter, yes.¡±


    He looked at it, as though it was some trusted holy document, shaking his head. ¡°I¡¯m still struggling to believe it. You were ready to say your goodbyes and write your whole life off, just like that?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t have anything left to live for. I thought it would be in everyone¡¯s interest if I did.¡±


    ¡°I can assure you it wouldn¡¯t have been.¡±


    I continued making the coffee, but he stormed on over at that, grabbing my arm and turning me to face him.


    ¡°We were worried fucking sick, Julian! Worried sick! You really think we wanted you dead? Seriously? For fuck¡¯s sake man, you¡¯re fucking INSANE!¡±


    I felt my own hurt welling up in a fresh round of shame.


    ¡°I wanted me dead. I thought I deserved it.¡±


    His eyes were both angry and hurt at the same time under heavy brows.


    ¡°Because you¡¯re ill, Julian! You need help! We all know it. Katreya knows it, Grace and Ryan know it. I do. You have serious mental health problems, and you¡¯re an alcoholic. You¡¯ve broken down! We just didn¡¯t know it. It¡¯s been happening for years, right before our eyes, but we didn¡¯t see it. We didn¡¯t fucking know.¡±


    ¡°Yes, it had, and I kept it very well hidden.¡±


    ¡°We found the stash of whisky bottles. Katreya saw the full extent of your perversions.¡±


    ¡°Exactly. So I left. I didn¡¯t expect anyone¡¯s forgiveness. I only had myself to me.¡±


    ¡°NO!¡± Michael said. ¡°That¡¯s NOT true. We wouldn¡¯t have med you if we¡¯d known you were ill. You¡¯ve done some despicable things, Julian, but you¡¯re not a bad man. We can hate the actions, yes, but we can¡¯t hate you.¡±


    I didn¡¯t know quite what to say to that. At one point, I¡¯d have believed him. I¡¯d have dropped at his feet and given my thanks, ovee by the truth in his words.


    Some of it was correct. I had been an alcoholic and hidden it. I had been fucking college girls behind everyone¡¯s back, and a lot of them. I had buckled under the weight of the truth when it had been discovered.


    ¡°I had broken down, yes,¡± I told him. ¡°When I threw some things into a suitcase I was on the brink, ready to leap off a bridge. I didn¡¯t dare hope there was anything more. But then, slowly, I got back to my feet. I looked inside, and found what I¡¯d been missing.¡±


    He pulled a face at me, as though I was talking nonsense.


    ¡°You sound like a wannabe zen master. Is there a wacko New Age club around here when people aren¡¯t crack smoking?¡±


    ¡°Hey, stop it with that!¡± I said, surprised at the fire in me. ¡°I¡¯m not a wannabe zen master, and this ce might seem like a cesspit to you, as it did to me, but that isn¡¯t quite the case. Not all of it.¡±Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDra/ma.O(r)g!


    He scoffed. ¡°That just confirms it. You really have lost your mind.¡±


    I wanted to shake him and hug him, both at the same time, desperate for my brother to see the truth in my words, as well as my truth in the letter.


    ¡°I¡¯d broken down, Michael. I know that.¡±


    ¡°HAVE, Julian. HAVE,¡± he interrupted. ¡°You¡¯re not any better! That much is clear based on the girl who just left this ce. Whisky or not. You¡¯re still ill.¡± His tone changed. His jaw trembled again. Finally, the core of the emotion rose to the surface. ¡°We would have helped, if we¡¯d known, but we didn¡¯t. Everyone was angry, nobody understood, but we get it now. You¡¯re sick. You have problems. You need professional help. And we¡¯ll be here for you, all of us.¡±

 Chapter 151

    I put my hand on his arm, wishing I was still the man who¡¯d have curled up and taken on any conditions to get back to my family. But I couldn¡¯t do it. I couldn¡¯t sacrifice the girl downstairs for another pack of lies.


    ¡°That¡¯s not what I said in the letter, is it? I didn¡¯t say I have problems. I said I¡¯m sorry. I admit, I¡¯ve done some appalling things, and I¡¯ve hurt people more than deserves forgiveness, but that¡¯s what I¡¯m asking for. Forgiveness.¡±


    ¡°And what we¡¯re offering you is HELP.¡±


    The kettle boiled, but I didn¡¯t make the coffee, just stared at him.


    ¡°Help?¡±


    ¡°YES!¡± he said. ¡°HELP!¡± He put the letter down on the side, and held out his hands in a gesture of care that choked me up. ¡°Come with me, now. Come with me and leave this shit hole behind, and we¡¯ll get you sorted, or we¡¯ll try. We can put you into therapy and rehab, and Katreya says she¡¯ll have you back, with an awful lot of conditions, albeit, but it¡¯s a start. That shows how much you mean to us, doesn¡¯t it? That shows how much we care.¡±


    Yes, it did. Again, I was choked up. I had to battle to speak.


    ¡°I¡¯m very honoured, truly. But I don¡¯t need rehab, or a therapy ward, Michael. And Katreya definitely doesn¡¯t want me back, she never wanted me in the first ce.¡±


    ¡°Stop it!¡± he said. ¡°Stop it and listen to me. You¡¯re ill. You just don¡¯t know it. You¡¯re very, very ill!¡±


    I gestured to the letter on the worktop. ¡°Have you read that? Really?¡±


    ¡°Yes, of course I have. I¡¯ve read every word a hundred times over, but that¡¯s your version of reality, it¡¯s not taking into ount illness, or mental health problems, or how they are most likely a hell of a lot more impactful than you wanting to fuck your students. Alcoholism is a great thing to admit to, it really is. We always struggled to get you to see that, but in the other areas, the sexual deviances¡­ you¡¯re still under an illusion. You clearly don¡¯t have the capacity for restraint, but we can help with that. Professionals can help with that.¡±


    My brother was trying to be kind. It was nice to see. His eyes were the same colour as mine and I could read his expressions like my own. He seemed even bigger than me now, in the boxed in space of the kitchen. I was lithe inparison to the bulk of him, but once upon a time we¡¯d been a couple of boisterous youngsters, battling on the rugby field at high school.


    He cared about me. Despite the circumstances. It was more than words could say, and more than I could have ever hoped for.


    ¡°Come with me, please,¡± he said again. ¡°Just grab a few things ande with me. We have somewhere lined up that can take you, if you¡¯ll sign yourself in. A residential rehabilitation facility. Katreya has found you the best, I swear. They¡¯ll be able to fix things.¡±


    It would have been so easy to buckle, and promise anything, and agree to any conditions in the world to go along with him, and see Grace, and Ryan, and Emily. Even Katreya. My old home, and our dog, and my old life. Everything I ever stood for. But I couldn¡¯t do it under the pretence of another round of lies. I reminded myself of that again as I looked at him.


    ¡°I don¡¯t need fixing,¡± I told him. ¡°I need forgiveness.¡±


    ¡°YOU NEED FIXING, JULIAN! You need HELP!¡±


    ¡°Help from what?¡± I asked. ¡°From Rosie, you mean? The woman I live with?¡±


    He put his hands in his hair at that.


    ¡°Woman? You call that girl a woman?! She¡¯s barely fucking legal!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s very true, yes. But she¡¯s a woman, and I love her.¡±


    ¡°Love her.¡± He closed his eyes and cursed under his breath. ¡°So, you won¡¯t ept you have predatory sexual urges and need help? Please see some fucking sense, will you? We¡¯re all behind you. I had to virtually beg Grace and Ryan to stay away from this visit, because I didn¡¯t know what the hell state you¡¯d be in, and it¡¯s damn well good I did. Or they¡¯d have seen that poor little girl running away from you, too.¡±


    I raised my eyebrows. ¡°Running away?!¡±


    ¡°Yes, running away. She was running back to her mother, wasn¡¯t she? Where did you find her? On her way back from high school?¡±


    ¡°No. Of course not! And she wasn¡¯t running, I can assure you!¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s see if the rehab centre agrees with you. Just get your things ande with me. I have the car outside. We¡¯ll get you booked in, and get your assessment done, and when you¡¯re up to it, after some treatment, we¡¯ll get Grace and Ryan to see you, and we can work things through, slowly, and they¡¯ll be there. We¡¯re all behind you, no matter how fucked up things have been.¡±


    I was shaking my head as I finally poured our coffees.


    ¡°Well?¡± he pushed. ¡°Are youing? I don¡¯t want a fucking drink with you, Jules, I want you in the car on the way out of this shit tip. I have no idea why you even came here. It¡¯s a disgusting ce. I¡¯d have thought you¡¯d have at least picked somewhere vaguely habitable for you to end your days in.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s considerably more habitable than it was when I moved in here, believe me. I keyed in a random postcode actually, and it came up with Worcester. I chose the cheapest ce that I could find.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re doing, I swear. Will you trust me, please? Trust me that you¡¯re ill?¡±


    I sighed at that. I thought my words in the letter had been clear, and real, and conveyed the truth, but the truth can always be misread, and twisted.


    I couldn¡¯t me him, either. They wanted excuses, and reasons beyond my control, clutching at straws at how I could be rehabilitated and turned back into the facade of Julian they¡¯d alle to know. But I didn¡¯t want that. Not now. Maybe a few months ago, but not now.


    ¡°I¡¯m not a predator,¡± I told him, calmly. ¡°My alcohol addiction is easing off, and yes, I¡¯ll happily take therapy for that, but when ites to upping and leaving and checking myself into rehab for depravity with women, I¡¯m sorry, but that isn¡¯t an illness. Not for me. My past is full of mistakes on that front, and I take full responsibility for them, but I am not sick. I am perfectly aware of what I am doing, and always have been. My crimes have been morality based, in the fact that I acted very out of turn, but I am not a criminal in the eyes of thew.¡±


    I watched his expression turn to rage.


    ¡°YOU PREYED ON GRACE¡¯S FRIENDS! BEHIND KAYREYA¡¯S


    BACK! Your WIFE¡¯S back!¡±


    I didn¡¯t rise to his shouting.


    ¡°I fucked plenty of girls behind Katreya¡¯s back, yes, and I shouldn¡¯t have done it. I¡¯m very sorry. It¡¯s a regret I¡¯ll have to live with for the rest of my life, but Katreya and I were estranged, and I didn¡¯t prey on anyone. I fucked them.¡±


    He turned away from me, his hands back in his hair.


    ¡°FUCK. JUST ¡± He fisted his hands as he swung back around. ¡°JULIAN!¡±


    I didn¡¯t have anything to say. I waited until he regained some semnce of calm, and let him continue.


    ¡°I didn¡¯te here to fight. I came here to help. That¡¯s what we need to do for you now. HELP.¡±


    ¡°Thank you. I¡¯m grateful beyond words. And I¡¯ll take that help, and I¡¯ll love that help, and I¡¯ll appreciate that help more than you could ever imagine. But it has to be help in the right areas.¡±


    He looked up at the ceiling. ¡°What you¡¯re really saying is that you won¡¯t stop fucking teenagers.¡±


    My heart pounded. My senses were on riot, wishing to God almighty that he could get so much as a glimpse into my soul.


    ¡°That¡¯s not what I¡¯m saying at all,¡± I told him. ¡°What I¡¯m saying is that I won¡¯t stop loving Rosie.¡±


    His eyes narrowed. ¡°Rosie? The girl downstairs? This denial is all about her?¡±


    ¡°I love Rosie. It¡¯s not denial, it¡¯s the opposite. It¡¯s the truth.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t love a teenager!¡±


    ¡°I can love a young woman.¡±


    ¡°As if.¡± He shook his head. ¡°Fucking hell. She¡¯s just another seedy fixation, like the others. You saw her, you snared her, now you can¡¯t let go of her pussy. Do you scrawl marker pen all over her? Call her derogatory names as you film her on camera?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s none of your business.¡±


    That did it for him, he stood taller, pointing a finger.


    ¡°It is exactly my business, because it says it all. She¡¯s another one of your dirty little treasures, and unless you get therapy, you aren¡¯t going to change at all.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re wrong,¡± I told him. ¡°I¡¯ve already changed.¡±


    His lip trembled.


    ¡°You haven¡¯t changed, Jules, but we want you to. All of us. Please.¡±


    My legs almost buckled under the weight of turning this down, but I couldn¡¯t do it. I couldn¡¯t lie anymore and I couldn¡¯t leave her behind. What is the point of life if people won¡¯t love you as you are, only the person they want you to be?


    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving Rosie,¡± I told him simply. ¡°I¡¯ll do anything else you want. I¡¯ll take alcohol therapy, and lie detection tests, and whatever else you want me to do, but I¡¯m not leaving Rosie. I love her too much.¡±


    He sucked in a breath, and nodded. He knew me well enough to know my answer was resolute.


    ¡°I¡¯ll let Grace and Ryan know. I¡¯ll tell them you¡¯re noting back, because you prefer another girl.¡±


    That stabbed me in the heart.


    ¡°IT¡¯S NOT LIKE THAT!¡±


    ¡°It is like that,¡± he said, and a tear fell down his face. ¡°Please, to God, let us know if you change your mind, and please, to God,e back to us when you see sense, rather than holing up here and nning to kill yourself. We¡¯ll all be waiting with open arms.¡±


    But those arms wouldn¡¯t be wide enough.


    I could feel my soul shattering as he walked away from me over to the front door.


    ¡°Michael, please¡­¡± I called after him, but he held his hand up, firm.Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDra/ma.O(r)g!


    ¡°You know where we are,¡± he said. ¡°Just a shame we didn¡¯t know where you were, or this may never have happened in the first ce. People can scream in anger, but we never stopped loving you.¡±


    Just as I¡¯d never stop loving Rosie.


    I couldn¡¯t stand to say goodbye, so I didn¡¯t. I held my weight as steady as I could, leaning against the wall as he closed the door. And then I cried. My God, how I cried.


    My heart was torn open, all over again, but I couldn¡¯t do it. I didn¡¯t want to bury myself for the sake of another round of living a lie.


    I wouldn¡¯t leave Rosie. Not ever.


    If love is as unconditional as they imed, then they would have to love her alongside me. Or not at all.

 Chapter 152

    ROSIE


    I thought i¡¯d be waiting a lot longer, sitting on the stairs, just out of view of the corridor. I didn¡¯t want to be with Mum and Tom, I wanted to be here, ready for whatever wasing.


    What ended uping was Julian¡¯s brother, fighting back sobs with his hand clutching the banister as he stumbled down towards me.


    He didn¡¯t see me at first, but when he did, he stopped dead in his tracks. I looked up at the tower of him, rising to my feet.


    ¡°You¡¯re leaving already?¡± I asked, stating the obvious.


    ¡°Yes, I am. If you have any sense, you¡¯ll stay the fuck away from him. My brother is a very sick man. I¡¯m sorry for what he did to you.¡±


    He carried on walking, but I put a hand on his shoulder as he tried to pass me by.


    ¡°Please, give me a second. Julian didn¡¯t do anything to me, I swear, other than love me.¡±


    Michael¡¯s eyes were like my boyfriend¡¯s. Beautiful in stunning green. He had the same arch of his brows. The same salt and pepper in his hair.


    ¡°Is that what he tells you? He¡¯s fucked up. Please don¡¯t listen to him. He¡¯s done this plenty of times before.¡±


    I shook my head, my hand still on his shoulder.


    ¡°No, he hasn¡¯t. He hasn¡¯t done this before. Not like he has with me.¡±


    ¡°Poor girl,¡± he said. ¡°I hope you have a family that will talk some sense into you when they find out.¡±


    ¡°They already know. My mum knows Julian. She likes him, actually. It took her a while to ept us being together, sure, but she realises it now. He wasn¡¯t after me, he didn¡¯t pursue me, he isn¡¯t using me.¡±


    ¡°Hardly hearts and kisses, I imagine. More like truss you up and enact his filth on you. He probably films it, too.¡±


    Still, I didn¡¯t let go of his shoulder. I held firm.


    ¡°There are more hearts and kisses than you could possibly know. Filth has nothing to do with it.¡±


    His jaw gritted. ¡°Filth has everything to do with it. It always has done. He most likely hasn¡¯t told you the half of what he did, believe me.¡±


    He pulled away from me at that, and took another step down, but I dashed forward, blocking his path on the stairs.


    ¡°He¡¯s told me everything. About every girl, about how it all started, about the things he did, and the things he wanted to do, and how he kept it hidden.¡±


    ¡°Right, yes. And you¡¯re still visiting him? You must need as much therapy as he does. Stay away from him, please.¡± I didn¡¯t move out of the way.


    ¡°I¡¯m not visiting him. I live with him.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re living with him? Jesus Christ he really has gone and done it this time. He¡¯s fucked you over big time and you¡¯re¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m what?¡±


    He looked me in the eye. ¡°Young. Impressionable.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, yeah, the vulnerable innocent. He hasn¡¯t fucked me over. I¡¯m there because I want to be. I was the one who approached him. I was the one who seduced him.¡±


    Michael¡¯s jaw was still gritted, firm.


    ¡°No doubt he built you up to it. Compliments, ying suave. I know how charming he can be.¡±


    I shook my head. ¡°No. He didn¡¯t build me up to it. He fought it.¡±


    He looked up at the ceiling, more tears welling up, despite his tough exterior.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t fight very hard, then, clearly.¡±


    ¡°Trust me,¡± I said, ¡°he fought it.¡±


    I saw the m of hurt there in his heart. His lip trembled.


    He took a breath. ¡°My brother is a predator. A deviant. He¡¯s uses girls, and exploits them. Maniptes them into giving him what he wants.¡±


    My stare was fierce. I didn¡¯t budge an inch to let him past.


    ¡°How do you know that?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s obvious.¡±


    ¡°Why is it obvious?¡±


    I remembered L talking to me about Peter, just as I¡¯d talked to her about Julian. I remembered the assumptions people had made based on age and nothing else, and they were wrong. All of them. Michael was wrong about Julian, too.


    ¡°Of course it¡¯s bloody obvious,¡± he said. ¡°The girls are too young to know better. They go along with his games because he primes them. Coerces them. Builds them up over time, until he¡¯s ready to strike. Just like he¡¯s done with you!¡±


    I tried to stay calm.


    ¡°I¡¯m asking you again, how do you know that?¡±


    I saw him bluster, he shrugged.


    ¡°Of course I know it!¡±


    ¡°How? Have you spoken to them? Any of them?¡±


    ¡°Hell no! That¡¯s thest thing we¡¯d want to do! Make the girls relive it.¡±


    He sounded like one of the people from this ce. So quick to condemn things they don¡¯t truly understand.


    ¡°Maybe you should speak to them, don¡¯t you think? Get their opinion before you make judgements?¡±


    ¡°And maybe you should get an opinion of a therapist before you head back upstairs even one more time.¡±


    Still, I didn¡¯t move.This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org.


    ¡°I don¡¯t need one. I love your brother, and he loves me.¡±


    Heughed, shook his head at me. ¡°He¡¯s old enough to be your father.¡±


    ¡°Actually, he¡¯s almost old enough to be my grandad.¡± I shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s an age gap, nothing more.¡±


    ¡°A thirty year age gap. THIRTY YEARS!¡± Still, I didn¡¯t budge.


    ¡°Yes, and so what? What does it matter?¡±


    ¡°It matters a LOT, I think you¡¯ll find.¡±


    ¡°To who?¡±


    ¡°Everyone.¡±


    I smiled, wishing he could see for just one second how his brother saved me, and stood by me, and loved me through the hell of it all.


    ¡°You mean it matters to you? Yes?¡±


    His cheeks were tear stained, but his eyes were fierce.


    ¡°And his children. Grace and Ryan. Katreya. I doubt he¡¯s told you about any of us.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s told me about you all. I know a lot, I promise you. I even know the colour of Emily¡¯sst birthday dress. He told me how she bounced on Katreya¡¯s knee when Grace brought the dragon cake in. I also know how much he misses you. All of you. So much he can hardly stand it.¡±


    Michael didn¡¯t say anything, so I carried on.


    ¡°He told me how you used to y rugby together. How once you were on rival teams, and wouldn¡¯t speak for a week on the run up. He said your mum shouted at you over the dining table because you were giving each other scowls while she was trying to talk to you.¡±


    He couldn¡¯t help but smile at that, just for a second.


    ¡°I know how Katreya had an affair with Grace¡¯s gym instructor. I know how he overheard her talking about him with her friends. I know how he felt when Grace¡¯s friends got older, and he realised he wanted them.¡±


    ¡°Stop this,¡± Michael said at that. ¡°He¡¯s been filling your head with nonsense!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not nonsense though, is it? Tell me which part of it is nonsense.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s using it!¡±


    ¡°How?¡±


    ¡°To seduce you!¡±


    My eyes stayed calm. My smile was real.


    ¡°I seduced him. I can tell you how, if you like? I can tell you what some of the other girls did, too. How they hung around in the kitchen, pretending they needed a drink while Grace was in bed. How they made suggestions. How the university students brushed past him after lectures, begging for extra help with their studies, just so they could get his attention.

 Chapter 153

    Just because girls are young doesn¡¯t mean they are innocent. Some are. Some aren¡¯t. I wasn¡¯t.¡± I paused. ¡°So, maybe you should speak to some of the girls who Julian preyed on and find out how they really feel about the whole thing? I think you might be surprised by their answers.¡±


    He didn¡¯t speak.


    I didn¡¯t move.


    ¡°Has Grace spoken to any of them?¡± I asked.


    ¡°No, she hasn¡¯t. She doesn¡¯t want to dig the disgusting pit any deeper than has already been dug.¡±


    ¡°So, you don¡¯t know, do you? Not for sure.¡±


    ¡°We don¡¯t NEED to!¡±


    ¡°Please, just talk to them,¡± I continued. ¡°Some of them. Maisie was the first girl he was with. She was messaging him for three months solid behind Grace¡¯s back, begging him to see her when Grace wasn¡¯t around. Then it was Serena from gym ss. She used to make sure he could see exactly the right parts of her in her leotard.¡±


    ¡°Stop,¡± Michael said, but I couldn¡¯t.


    ¡°I know it was Madeline that called him out in the end. She did that because he told her he wasn¡¯t going to see her anymore. She wanted more than he was prepared to give, and he didn¡¯t want to hold her back from university. He¡¯s got plenty of messages to back that up.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s not on fucking trial!¡± Michael said.


    ¡°He is though, isn¡¯t he? He¡¯s on trial by you, and you¡¯ve already reached your verdict without hearing the evidence.¡±


    I saw how he wavered, just a touch, his hand gripping the handrail tightly.


    ¡°Speak to them. Please,¡± I said. ¡°And then make your verdict. And please don¡¯t think he¡¯s done badly to me. He hasn¡¯t. You can ask my mum, if you like. She¡¯s just down there, in apartment four. She had the same opinion you did, before she realised the truth.¡±


    ¡°The truth? She must be as delusional as you are.¡±


    ¡°Ask her. She¡¯s right there.¡± I gestured to the floor below.


    ¡°I don¡¯t need to ask her, and I don¡¯t need you to sing my brother¡¯s praises. He needs therapy, and he needs us. If you really believe your truth, and you love him, then tell him toe back to us, and leave him alone. Live your life. You¡¯ll be d you did when you¡¯re older.¡±


    He eased past me, walking away, and this time I didn¡¯t dash forward to stop him. His words had struck a chord. Hypocritical.


    ¡°Since you¡¯re judging him for being so maniptive, why are you being so maniptive yourself?¡±


    He turned back to me.


    ¡°Me being maniptive? Please. I¡¯m looking out for you, and for him.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re being maniptive, making him choose, and trying to make me choose for him.¡±


    ¡°Believe that if you want.¡± He shook his head again. ¡°Poor girl. I feel sorry for you, I really do.¡±


    I had to choke back my own tears, trying to stay calm.


    ¡°If you feel so sorry for me, then please listen to what I have to say. Knock on my mum¡¯s door and speak to her, and call some of the girls Julian preyed on. Please, give him that. Give him a fair trial before you sentence him.¡± Michael carried on walking.


    ¡°Please!¡± I called after him. ¡°Please, just speak to them! Any of them! Even Madeline!¡±


    I followed him far enough down to watch him march past Mum¡¯s door, and that broke me. I copsed down onto the stairs, putting my hands over my face as the tears fell. I¡¯d tried. I¡¯d truly tried.


    It was through streaming sobs that I saw him pause at the end of the corridor, long enough to stare back at me, and he was weighing me up. I could feel it. Sense it. Even through the tears.


    ¡°Please!¡± I managed to whimper. ¡°Please give him a fair trial. Please!¡±


    Julian¡¯s brother didn¡¯t answer my final request, he just walked away. I knew he¡¯d be crying all the way downstairs.


    I heard the bottom door m closed behind him, and got myself together enough to hold back the tears as I raced upstairs. I opened the door to our apartment, and found Julian on the chesterfield with his head in his hands. I flew to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders as tightly as I could. My mouth was by his ear, my words so choked up I could hardly speak.


    ¡°Go with him,¡± I said. ¡°Go with him, Julian, and go now. They¡¯re waiting for you. He¡¯s still out there¡­ you can go home!¡±


    But my boyfriend took my face in his hands, despite his tears. He shook his head before pressing his forehead to mine.Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDra/ma.O(r)g!


    ¡°You are my home now, Rosie,¡± he said. ¡°And I¡¯m not leaving you.¡±


    ¡°You can go!¡± I cried. ¡°Julian! You can go!¡±


    ¡°Tell me this,¡± he said, his eyes right on mine. ¡°Would you have ever left me to go back downstairs? Back to your mother? Would you have left me behind and walked away?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°Never.¡±


    ¡°And the same is true in reverse. I won¡¯t leave you behind and walk away. Not for anything. I just pray that one day they¡¯ll get the chance to see how much I love you for themselves, just as your mother did.¡±


    I held him and cried with him, and loved the way he loved me, just as I loved him.


    And I prayed with everything I had  with my heart and soul  that they would get the chance to see it.


    Julian, my saviour, the man upstairs who¡¯d saved my life from nothing, deserved his family.


    Just as they deserved him.


    NOBODY TURNED UP IN THE WEEKS AFTER THAT. NO GRACE OR RYAN, OR Katreya. Michael didn¡¯te back, and there were no calls. Nothing but silence from Oxford as I finished up my exams.


    We ate out in Worcester with L and Peter in celebration with whoops and cheers, and Mum and Tom came, too. And then, when the summer holidays were upon us, we went to Tenby and built sandcastles, with Julian tossing sand at me as he dug the moat.


    We ate ice creams, and paddled in the sea with L and Peter, and after dinner, when they were off to bed for a kinky night in their hotel room, Julian and I set back off together, back to the beach.


    We sat on the sand, and talked under the stars, and we began to make our ns.


    ns for our new life away from Crenham Drive¡­


    ¡°Where shall we go, then?¡± Julian asked me. ¡°London? Tenby? Brighton? Manchester? Some tiny little vige in the middle of nowhere in Wales?¡±


    Julian had many suggestions, but I had only one answer.


    ¡°I want us to move to Oxford.¡±


    ¡°Oxford?!¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I said. ¡°Oxford.¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Julian said. ¡°Absolutely not. You¡¯ll regret it when we¡¯re there. That¡¯s thest thing I¡¯d want to put you through. Not in a million years.¡±


    I wouldn¡¯t regret it, though. Because just as he¡¯d used the parallel of me not leaving him for the sake of my mother, there were some other parallels I could happily draw upon  and had done plenty of times in my mind.


    I wouldn¡¯t have left Julian for Mum, no, but I wouldn¡¯t have left Crenham Drive, either. I wouldn¡¯t have left her behind until she got the chance to see the truth for herself. About us. About him. About how great a person he was, and how much he adored me.


    In Oxford, maybe, his family would see for themselves. A chance like that was worth taking. It had to be.


    ¡°We can¡¯t move to Oxford,¡± he said, but I shook my head.


    ¡°Michael asked me to leave you and send you back home, but I won¡¯t leave you, not for anything. But I will send you home, like your family wanted. I¡¯ll just being with you.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve no idea what you¡¯d be letting yourself in for.¡±


    ¡°I think I do, don¡¯t you?¡± I managed tough, with the crash of the waves as a beautiful backdrop. ¡°We¡¯ve been through plenty of it in Crenham, haven¡¯t we? And we made it through. We¡¯ll make it through there as well. And if Michael does what I asked him to, what I begged him to¡­ if he asks any of those girls for real, he¡¯ll begin to see the truth. They all will¡­¡±


    ¡°And if they don¡¯t?¡±


    ¡°Then we keep waiting, until one day they see it for themselves. In us.¡± I nestled into his side as he stared at the waves. ¡°Can we do it, then? Can we move to Oxford? You said you¡¯d take me anywhere in the world I wanted to go.¡±


    He chuckled, just a bit.


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t imagining you¡¯d say Oxford.¡±


    ¡°Will you take me there? Please? Can we get you home?¡±


    He sighed and put his arm around me, kissing my head.


    ¡°You are my home.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I know.¡± I was grinning in the darkness. ¡°I guess we¡¯ll just be living at home in Oxford though, won¡¯t we?¡±


    I soaked in another crash of the waves. I could practically hear his brain churning.


    He sighed, and I grinned brighter. I knew him well enough to know the signs.


    ¡°Alright, then,¡± my boyfriend said. ¡°Let¡¯s do it. Let¡¯s move to Oxford.¡±


    I let out a squeal at that, and practically jumped on him, both of us a tumble of limbs on the sand.


    I kissed him with sandy lips, and he grabbed me with sandy fingers, wrestling me to the ground underneath him, with my hands pinned over my head.


    I bucked up at him as he tugged my dress down in the moonlight, and he paused as he saw my bare tits in the pale glow.


    I¡¯d already written it for him, while he was getting his suit on in the hotel room, jagged marker pen over my skin in the bathroom.


    Yours.


    He could write slut, or whore, or dirty bitch, or whatever he wanted to, right over me, but tonight, that one word said it all.


    I was Julian¡¯s just as he was mine, and that wouldn¡¯t ever change, not for anything.


    I just hoped that one day his family would see the truth of it¡­ just like mine had.

 Chapter 154

    Epilogue


    TWO YEARS LATER


    ROSIE


    WHO¡¯D have ever thought i¡¯d be in an upmarket suburb in oxford on the eve of my twenty-first birthday, weing in my special day with a fifty-year-old man brandishing a whisk as a sex toy.


    ¡°Come on,¡± Julian said, with a smirk. ¡°Call it a birthday present. An early one.¡±


    The whisk he was holding was new, and bigger. He tapped it against his palm to make it rattle, and my pussy tightened at the thought.


    ¡°I¡¯m not using that for the main cake, Julian!¡± I told him. ¡°No way!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not making your own main cake, Rosie. You¡¯re making a little prebirthday dessert for just the two of us. Let¡¯s ice it with something sweet, shall we? Something really sweet.¡±


    As if I could ever resist him¡­


    His eyes were full of filth, and mischief, and I couldn¡¯t help myself. I never could. I shunted my mid flow cake making efforts to the side and hitched myself up on the worktop. The marble worktop. It was cold on my ass when Julian pulled my panties down and off in one swift motion. I put my heels up either side of me on autopilot, spreading my legs open wide without a care in the world, just for Julian  savouring the joy on his gorgeous face.


    I was Julian¡¯s slut whenever I wanted to be now, and that was a huge amount of the time.


    We both worked from the same home office. Him writing hot, dirty filth, and me blogging about it. A life of dreams.


    I¡¯d been almost neen when he¡¯d hit publish on his first novel  The Girl Downstairs, and it went viral on my neenth birthday, hitting the top one hundred with a boom. He¡¯d written two since, both of them winners. He could say it was L¡¯s cover design that hadunched his career into the romance world with a bang all he wanted, and she deserved one hell of a lot of credit, sure, but that wasn¡¯t it. His words were magic, just like her covers were. And so were his fantasies¡­ all of them.


    He tugged my dress up, a sweet white one I¡¯d chosen on purpose, because I knew it drove him crazy. He ran the whisk up and down my pussy lips, and I sucked in a breath. It really was a big one. Much bigger than thest.


    ¡°You can take it,¡± he said, reading my mind. ¡°I¡¯ll make sure of it.¡±


    I had no doubt of that. Fuck, it was going to stretch me open to a whole other level, though.


    I spread my pussy lips for him, and he twirled his filthy tongue around my clit, driving me wild in seconds. I¡¯d been desperate for it all day. Birthday balloons, and shopping for the visitorsing tomorrow, and making sure the guest rooms were ready had taken up hours, and now I was desperate.


    Julian¡¯s desperate little slut.


    As well as his fiancee.


    He¡¯d proposed to mest year, just three days after his divorce hade through. That¡¯s how sure he was of it. I was going to be his, on paper as well as in words. Undisputable.


    He spat on his fingers before he pushed three right inside me, but it wasn¡¯t enough. I begged him for more. More, more, more, always more, and he always delivered. Pushing me beyond boundaries I never knew I had.


    His thumb was on my clit as he pumped his fingers inside me, and I heard my wet pussy nice and loud as I tipped my head back.


    ¡°More¡­¡±


    ¡°Take what you¡¯re given, slut.¡±


    I gave him a cheeky, slutty smile.


    ¡°It¡¯s my birthday, Julian. Spoil me.¡±


    ¡°Not yet, it¡¯s not. If you¡¯re a good girl, you can get all the spoiling you want tomorrow.¡± I loved the sound of his voice, emanating pure lust. ¡°Are you going to be a good girl for me, hmm?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I¡¯m always a good girl. Always.¡±


    I braced myself on my elbows, rxing into the way he worked me. Three fingers turned to four, and he twisted them deep, making me cry out. He loosened me like a master, but my pussy still gripped his fingers like a vice, muscles ready to mp around metal spines.


    The whisk had be quite infamous online. Luckily, my friends and family avoided Julian¡¯s novels. The covers were more than enough for them.


    ¡°I need to see inside your beautiful cunt,¡± he said. ¡°All the way in. Spread and hungry.¡±


    ¡°Do it, then.¡± I looked at him with needy eyes. ¡°Make me take it.¡±


    His tongue was the perfect aplice to the work of his hand. I was a squelching, bucking mess as he got me ready, lying t against the kitchen ind as he used me. He bit the insides of my thighs, sucking to leave his marks. I knew I¡¯d be dirty for him under my birthday dress tomorrow, with his filthy words and his love bites all over my skin. Our secret, dirty sins. ¡°Fuck me¡­¡± I moaned. ¡°Do it, Julian. Fuck me. Stretch me with that whisk like I¡¯m a dirty little slut.¡±


    ¡°My pleasure.¡±


    I knew it was bigger than thest one, but I had no idea just how cutting it would feel as he tried to work it inside me. I screwed my eyes shut tight, crying out as it strained, almost buckling under the pressure. Only I never would.


    ¡°Your cunt is so fucking pretty,¡± Julian said, and I knew he had his phone set to record, staring up at me with the camera aimed between my legs. ¡°Here,¡± he said. ¡°Hold it.¡±


    I took hold of the phone, smiling with dirty joy as I held it in position to film my own pussy getting stretched. He had hundreds of videos, and thousands of words, all about me and what he¡¯d done to me  and fantasies of what he wanted to do next. He was still offering me chapters every day.


    I didn¡¯t think I could take it when he gave the whisk a little twist until the wires were at their widest. The stretch was the biggest I¡¯d ever felt, and I knew he¡¯d be able to see right inside me.


    ¡°Just beautiful,¡± he said, staring at my stretched hole. ¡°A gape of pink, with your lips spread wide. A wet tunnel spread open by a metal cage. Filthy, but divine.¡±


    His words made me smile, despite the pain of the stretch.


    ¡°You know what to do,¡± he said, letting go of the whisk and taking the phone from me.


    He aimed the camera up close and I took hold of the whisk, wincing at the stretch.


    ¡°Take it,¡± he said, ¡°fuck yourself.¡±


    I bit down and I took it. Nice and slow as I eased those wires into me, the look of pure pleasure on Julian¡¯s face was all I needed.


    I gasped as my pussy finally gave and the whisk sucked into me.


    ¡°Good girl,¡± he said. ¡°Very good.¡±


    ¡°It feels good,¡± I told him before he asked, because I knew he would.


    His smile was infectious. ¡°Pain into pleasure?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I said, ¡°God yes,¡± and fucked myself some more, rocking against the pressure until Julian stilled my hand. He put the phone aside.


    ¡°If you¡¯re this filthy at twenty-one, just imagine what you¡¯re going to be like at thirty,¡± he said, then leant in and teased my clit with his tongue.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be the filthiest girl in the world,¡± I told him, holding his head to my pussy. ¡°You¡¯d just better make sure you use me.¡±


    I didn¡¯t need to worry about that.


    Julian fucked me with the new whisk, and probed my ass with the long, thin handle of the wooden spoon I¡¯d been using for my cake mix, and fuck it, the sweet Victoria sponge really would be ours only.


    Julian slopped cold cream all over my thighs and pussy, and ate me out as I squirmed and screamed, and I was lost to everything but the man who¡¯d unleashed my soul and set me free.


    I had no restraints anymore. Not for anything.


    Not outside the bedroom. Luckily there were still plenty of restraints in there¡­


    I came for him with a whisk in my pussy and a wooden spoon up my ass, gasping as he stared inside me, moaning out loud.


    ¡°Give me your cock now, please,¡± I said, but he shook his head.


    ¡°Not yet. You¡¯ll get it when I give it to you. Your first birthday treat.¡±Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDra/ma.O(r)g!


    ¡°Spoilsport.¡±


    He licked every wire of the whisk clean before he dropped it back on the kitchen side, along with the dirty handled spoon. I had to brace myself as I slid off the worktop to carry on with my baking. Ouch. That was quite a beast of a stretching.


    I carried on making my pre-birthday birthday cake while he scanned through the video I¡¯d taken of myself as he fucked me. I watched him smirking as I whisked the cake mix.


    ¡°When am I getting your cock, then?¡± I asked him.


    ¡°Midnight,¡± heughed. ¡°Your first birthday present.¡±


    ¡°Meanie. I want it now.¡±


    Our filth had be so natural that it was a blessing, veiled behind the scenes while we were around others, but wild in our home. The home we¡¯d moved into from Crenham. The home with French doors leading from the kitchen to an enclosed garden. The home with a four-poster bed and an ensuite bigger than our old living room kitchenbined. The home where we worked and lived and loved in pure happiness. The home I¡¯d be happy to stay in forever more.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to be very sore for my birthday party,¡± I said with a giggle.


    ¡°It wouldn¡¯t be a very good birthday party if you weren¡¯t. Don¡¯t tell me you won¡¯t be sharing the details with L as soon as you get the chance.¡±


    I grinned at the mention of her name. My party would be a crowd of my favourite people. L and Peter, Mum and Tom, Trisha and Ramsay. Jayden and his new girlfriend, Amy. And Molly  the friend I¡¯d felt confident enough to make contact with after all these years.


    Just a shame Julian¡¯s family wouldn¡¯t be there to celebrate with me, but slowly, slowly, the bridges were being built in tiny little blocks, but they were being built, day by day.


    Julian went out with Grace and Emily for lunch sometimes now, and Emily called him on video every evening to say goodnight, even when I was in the background. Ryan went for pub drinks with Julian asionally down their local, and Julian always stuck to beer without even a drop of whisky. And Michael was there in his world, too, hovering on the outskirts. They¡¯d meet and chat business and work, and asionally they¡¯d go and watch rugby together.


    I was so pleased that Michael listened to me enough on the Crenham Drive stairs to get in touch with Serena, the girl from Grace¡¯s gym ss. I was d she¡¯d been honest enough to admit the truth about how she¡¯d wanted Julian, and had chased him, as had so many girls after her.

 Chapter 155

    That didn¡¯t make his family¡¯s struggle any easier though, and I got that.


    Knowing Julian was with me, a twenty-one-year-old girl from the dregs of Worcester, would be a very hard thing to witness in person. It¡¯s one thing knowing it from the sidelines, but another thing entirely seeing it in the flesh.


    It was almost midnight when the cake finished baking in the oven, and Julian helped me ice it, sticking one solitary candle in the top and lighting it up at the exact moment that the clock struck twelve.


    I pushed my sses up my nose, eyes on him as I blew the candle out, and then the emotion came over me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tight before he¡¯d even put the cake back down on the side. I still struggled to believe sometimes that this man, this saviour was mine, and I was going to be his wife.


    Crenham felt like a million miles away, and had done from the moment we left it behind. The only stairs I climbed to my saviour now were our own, carpeted to perfection.


    Julian gave me his cock that night, like he¡¯d promised. He fucked me so hard and it hurt so bad it was mind-blowing amazing, my wrists shackled in the same red twine he¡¯d used from the very start. A memento I¡¯d treasure for ever. When he loosened the bonds and held me tight, I counted my blessings for the millionth time as I floated down from the high.


    Every day was a special day for me, birthday or not.


    And every night was sacred in his arms.


    My saviour. My love.


    My man upstairs.


    JULIAN


    I HAD PLENTY OF SURPRISES LINED UP FOR ROSIE¡¯S TWENTY-FIRST birthday. I watched her as she woke beside me, stretching her arms wide before settling back down with her head on my chest as I stroked her hair.


    ¡°Happy birthday, sweetheart.¡±


    The day was just beginning, and it was going to be a long one.


    The first surprise came when we were in the kitchen, preparing for the party ahead. There was a knock at the door as the baker delivered a two-tiered piece of chocte brilliance with her name in creamed letters on the top. She was still fawning over it with thanks when the second knock came a few minutester  the florist¡¯s assistant handing over twenty-one red roses, in a glorious bouquet.


    ¡°I¡¯m so spoilt,¡± she told me. ¡°Way too spoilt!¡±


    ¡°You could never be too spoilt, princess. You¡¯ll never be spoilt enough.¡±


    Jayden and Amy arrived first, in the car I¡¯d handed Jayden the keys to when we¡¯d left Crenham. It didn¡¯t have the sprayed green dick on the bo anymore, which was a shame. It would have been an icon all on its own.


    L and Peter arrived an hourter with Beverly and Tom, with party poppers, and hugs and kisses, and Molly showed up a just a few minutes after that, with her mum and Jacob in tow.


    We were all there, enjoying the buffet on the kitchen ind,ughing and joking happily, or so it seemed. But my heart was pounding, nerves jangling as the final surprise of them all loomed ahead of us.


    Only Rosie didn¡¯t know about it.


    She had no idea.This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org.


    The doorbell sounded while we were preparing to cut the cake, in fact. Earlier than I¡¯d anticipated. I¡¯d expected it to be a flying visit, a simple hello, not a full on joining in at the party.


    Rosie wasn¡¯t the only one getting surprises today.


    She looked quizzical, then she grinned at me.


    ¡°Not another present?¡± she asked. ¡°Julian! Seriously. You¡¯ve given me enough already!¡±


    ¡°Go see,¡± I told her, trying to hide the emotions churning in my gut.


    I followed her as she bounded to the doorway, my steps slow behind hers. I held my breath as she opened the door, knowing she was expecting another courier, only to find a group of people waiting for her.


    A group of people she¡¯d never met before.


    She jumped back in shock, and I joined her there, with tears in my eyes.


    Emily stepped up first, my adorable five-year-old granddaughter, with a hand drawn birthday card that she¡¯d scribbled for Rosie herself. Grace looked rtively serene as she set eyes on my fiancee for the very first time, and Ryan was quiet, but ok. He managed a happy birthday as she stared at him with tears of her own.


    And there was Michael, too. Suited like he was set for a business meeting, with a smile and a tip of the head.


    ¡°Hello, Rosie,¡± he said. ¡°It¡¯s nice to be meeting under better circumstances.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe it,¡± she told him, and neither could I. It was finally here. It was happening.


    My family was here, along with hers.


    My family was here to celebrate the birthday of the woman I loved. The woman they¡¯d struggled to ept, but were beginning to manage it. Just. I had no doubt they¡¯d adore her when they got to know her.


    They¡¯d have no choice. Rosie was a soul too gorgeous not to.


    I¡¯d been preparing for some awkwardness, or stuttering, but Rosie was too quick for that. She knelt down and epted Emily¡¯s card with a wow, thank you, and then she pulled the little girl into her arms, saying a true hello for the very first time.


    But it didn¡¯t stop there.


    She didn¡¯t wait for niceties, or the pleasantries of stilted conversation. Instead, she hugged them tightly, one by one, contented to cry with happiness in front of the people she thought would never ept her.


    And I was crying, too.


    ¡°I¡¯m so pleased to meet you,¡± she told my family. ¡°All of you! I just¡­ thank you! Really, thank you!¡±


    Yet again, no thanks would ever be needed. They¡¯d love her being my side, age gap redundant the very moment they saw the way she looked at me with pure love in her eyes, and I looked at her right back.


    They couldn¡¯t deny it anymore. This was love. in for the world to see.


    ¡°We¡¯re pleased to meet you too,¡± Grace said, and hugged my angel back. ¡°It¡¯s been a long timeing.¡±


    Yes, it had. But it had been worth it, every single step of the way.


    It took Rosie a few moments topose herself before gesturing through to our kitchen diner.


    ¡°Come in and, um, meet my family,¡± she said.


    Only it wouldn¡¯t be just her family for long. Not with my ring on her finger, and my heart in hers.


    It would be our family, just like mine would be our family, too.


    THE END.


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