《The Soldier Next Door》 One-Way Ticket Today I give up on a dream, not really by my own choice but still, it was the end of something big. Something I prepared for my whole life, something that drove every bone in my body, it was the sole purpose behind every single thing that I did. I always believed I would do something great, that I would be my dream. I guess dreams can¡¯tst forever, but I sure wish that this one did. My name is Ethan Hunter. I joined the Marine Corps when I was eighteen, today at the age of twenty-five I am told that I can no longer serve. I am on a bus back home now, to say that I am not devastated would be a lie. Home is thest ce I ever saw myselfing to, especially not so soon. I did not let my parents know, they are probably going to think this is just a surprise visit. All I know is my father is going to be disappointed. I disappointed him all those years ago when he wanted me to be a doctor and now I am going to disappoint him again. Not like this is something I could have controlled. The thing that is going to be the hardest is that they are only going to find out now what happened. In saying that, am I going to be ready to tell them what I really have been through, what I have kept a secret from everyone for so long? As I climb off at the bus stop in the middle of town, I can already see the heads turning. This is such a small ce, by the time I get home my mom will already be waiting for me. And that is exactly what happens. My momes racing down the stairs to greet me just as I set foot through the front gate. ¡°Ethan, my god you are home. Why did you not tell us? Maggie from the flower shop told me that she saw you.¡± She damn near chokes me to death from her repeated tiny little hugs, I can barely utter a word. ¡°Mom, does Maggie have nothing better to do than spread gossip?¡± She chuckles and squeezes me for the fifth time. In the distance I see my father step off the porch toe to offer me the best that he can, nothing near as warm as a hug but a firm handshake. ¡°You know how this town is son. They upy themselves with everybody¡¯s business but their own¡± ¡°Well, I am just d you came to visit,¡± my mom says as she is still squeezing me firm. ¡°Come, let your dad take your bag and I will go make us some coffee¡± ¡°Your brother and histest girlfriend is in the lounge,¡± my dad shamelessly says. ¡°John you can¡¯t say things like that¡±, my mom reprimands him. Dad takes my bag but does not leave until he can get his final five cents worth in. ¡°Mary the child has a different girl on his arm every week. The town is running dry out of women.¡± ¡°Leave him, he is just enjoying life while he is young. Not like Ethan here that has his head screwed on in the right ce.¡± I watch as dad disappears through the door, but wait, he is not done yet. ¡°I still say you should have be a doctor but I guess serving your country is just as good.¡± My dad takes my bag to my room while my mom heads into the kitchen to go make us some coffee. I sneak up behind my brother and smack him against the head. ¡°What the fuck?¡± he spins around in his chair to see whom ites from. ¡°Hey, old Matty boy. I hear mom says you smooching a new girl.¡± I pull him into a big old man hug as he stands up from the couch. ¡°Ethan, bro, what are you doing here? You are not up for leave.¡±Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g ¡°Man, don¡¯t even ask. The old man is going to flip his valves a few times.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you got kicked out?¡± he says out of concern. ¡°You can say I sort of did.¡± Matt drops down on the chair while rubbing his hands together, not from the cold but from the excitement he perceives is about to happen. ¡°I want a front row to this, dad is going to rip you a new one.¡± ¡°I am more worried about what the olddy is going to say.¡± ¡°What happened bro? We have not heard from you since you were deployed.¡± I reach over and whisper in his ear making sure that the girl next to him cannot hear. I watch him as his face goes pale and his eyes grow wide, this will be my mom¡¯s reaction but only tenfold. ¡°Fuck no! Shit bro, what happened? You gotta be shitting me!¡± ¡°A man does not joke about shit like this.¡± I watch him as he tries to hold back the tears. ¡°Mom is going to be pissed. Why did you not phone us?¡± ¡°Guess I had to work through it myself first. I did not want the olddy to stress. You know how she can be.¡± I look away trying to hold the tears back myself. ¡°What are you going to do now?¡± ¡°Stay here for a few months and head to the city.¡± ¡°I wille with you if you want the extra luggage. I am tired of this shithole anyway.¡± He chuckles as he looks on over to the girl next to him. ¡°So who is the new girl?¡± I desperately try to change the subject. ¡°This is Elle, she moved into town a month ago.¡± ¡°You sure as hell do not waste any time. What happened to Becky?¡± ¡°Oh he dumped her for me,¡± Elle exins. ¡°You do know he is nothing but trouble?¡± I look at her and smile. She looks at me with a smile you will only get from a naughty school girl. ¡°My mom says I only like the bad boys¡±. ¡°There used to be a time Ethan was the bad boy of the town but then he ran off to join the Marines.¡± ¡°Oh girls just love a man in uniform.¡± She winks at me and smiles. ¡°Oh is that so?¡± Matt¡¯s face lights up as he gets an idea. ¡°Bro, can I borrow your service uniform?¡± ¡°You touch my shit and I break your fingers.¡± ¡°Damn¡±, he tries to convince me. ¡°Can you imagine the girls you will get if you wear that shit? You might even get Miss Old Stubborn on the hill there moaning.¡± It immediately sparks my curiosity. ¡°Who is Miss Old Stubborn?¡± ¡°She moved in there a week ago. She has not spoken to anyone since she has been here¡± ¡°She does not even leave the property, she gets the grocer to deliver her groceries¡± Elle adds. ¡°She sounds more like Miss Snob to me,¡± is the first thing thates to my mind. ¡°That is exactly what I said¡±, Elle agrees with what I said. ¡°Maybe you should go past there and introduce yourself and in the same breath just throw it out there that you are in the Marines,¡± Matt tries to encourage me, he knows that I could do with thepany other than my family. ¡°You would almost do everything to getid¡±, I chuckle at his remark. ¡°Not almost, he does,¡± Elle ps him yfully on the arm. Just then momes into the lounge. ¡°Here you go, my boy.¡± Mom hands me my coffee and sits next to me on the couch. The only thing running through my mind is ¡°Please don¡¯t touch me, just don¡¯t touch me.¡± But she just casually sits and continues sipping on her tea. ¡°How long are you staying this time?¡± Then dad walks into the lounge. ¡°By the weight of that bag, a bit more than usual.¡± Thank god he did not look in the bag, he would have seen that everything I own is in there. What could not fit in there, wille by courierter this week. ¡°The thing is, there is something I need to tell you guys,¡± I get the courage to tell them what is really going on, why I am back home. ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you got kicked out of the fucking Marines!¡± My dad does not even give me time to exin. ¡°John!¡± My mom has to reprimand him again. ¡°What?¡± He just looks at my mom as if he has done nothing wrong. ¡°I told him he should have be a doctor¡±, he continues to add. I don¡¯t know if I have the energy for this shit. Maybe I should just shut my mouth and let him think whatever he wants. He is the most hard-headed man I know, bumping heads with him is like trying to teach a rock how to move. ¡°Yes maybe you are right dad, at least I would not have disgraced you.¡± ¡°I did not say you disgraced me, Ethan. I am just disappointed.¡± I know it is still going to be long before he is going to shut up about this doctor thing. ¡°John, I am sure he has a very good reason for what happened,¡± my mom takes my side against him. She gives me a slight squeeze around my shoulders. I take a deep breath and calm down before I speak again. ¡°Yes I do mom but it is not something I want to talk about right now.¡± ¡°Well, it is never toote to be a doctor. You are still young,¡± my dad most irritatingly carries on. ¡°Dad, just let me get through this day and then the next. I will tell you what happened when I am ready.¡± ¡°Fair enough, it is not like you going anywhere.¡± ¡°John! Stop being a jerk¡±, my mom shoots my dad a look that I sure can almost kill him and smacks him against the head. I can almost not keep in myughter as I watch dad¡¯s head snap to the left. ¡°It is fine mom, if you will excuse me, it was a long bus ride, I would like to get some rest.¡± ¡°I will wake you up for supper.¡± I give my mom a kiss on the forehead before I get up and leave the lounge. The truth is, I am not tired, I am just not in the mood for this. I get to my room and as usual, nothing has changed, it is like stepping back into a time capsule. As I try to unpack my bag, I discover that even my old clothes from when I was eighteen are still hanging in here. Mom has always been one to cling onto things just as I will be clinging onto those uniforms and their memories that is in my bag. Once I have finished finding space to unpack my things, I get ready toy down on the bed for a few hours. But before I can, there is a knock on my door. ¡°Come in.¡± ¡°Hey sweetie, I brought you some extra nkets¡±, my mom peaks around the door. I hug as I take them from her. ¡°Thank you, mom.¡± She looks at me lovingly. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about your dad, you do what you have to do.¡± I get back onto the bed and under the covers. I soon drift off to sleep and the nightmares start. ¡­¡­¡­. I can hear myself screaming as bullets fly over my head. ¡°We are under attack! Fall back! Fall back!¡± There is a soldier next to me that is trying to cover us as best as he can. ¡°I can¡¯t go back! We are surrounded. They are fucking everywhere.¡± ¡°Just get us the fuck out of here! Drive through them. NOW. Just drive!¡± I order the soldier to get us out of the range of the fireing that ising hot and heavy from the militia attacking us. But the soldier starts to panic as the truck is not going fast enough. ¡°This truck won¡¯t make it on this dirt road so fast. I need to go slow. We have not cleared it for live explosives¡± ¡°I don¡¯t care!¡± My voice echoes over the gunfire that is nowing in fast. ¡°Just get us out of here. LET¡¯S GO. LET¡¯S GO.¡± Then there is a massive explosion, the tuck flips and crashes down onto its side. ¡°Aaahhh fuck,¡± I utter as my body as thrown from side to side. ¡°Ethan! Sir!¡± The soldier tries to grab on to me. ¡°Goddammit,¡± is the only word I can utter. My head is still zinging from the bomb and my damn body hurts. ¡°Are you okay Sir?¡± ¡°I think so.¡± I try to assess the situation but my first instinct is the safety of my squad. ¡°Is everyone else okay?¡± ¡°Yes, we are all fine. We are going to have to make it out on foot the rest of the way.¡± ¡°Come help me out of here, I am stuck.¡± The soldier tries to pull me out. ¡°I can¡¯t get you out, Sir.¡± ¡°Fuck my goddamn leg is crushed¡± I look at him in shock as I realized my leg is stuck between the front panel and the seat. ¡°Can you move it, Sir?¡± The soldier looks at me very concerned. ¡°I cannot feel it! I cannot feel my fucking leg.¡± There are fear and absolute horror written over my face. ¡­¡­¡­¡­. I wake up in a panic and feel my leg. It is the same it was on that day three months ago when I woke up in the hospital and it is the same it has been every day since then. The pain that I felt after that surgery was worse for me mentally than it ever was for me physically. When I woke up that day my life ended. They say that I saved my squad¡¯s life that day and for that, I got a medal of honor. But no medal can make up for what I lost that day. My leg. I am supposed to be a hero but I am not, I am a broken man. Nobody wants a broken man, they need a hero. A broken man does not get the girls, he gets to be lonely. My only wish now is to meet someone that is going to take me for who I am, a broken soldier. Follow The Brick Road I wake up the next morning, I guess that I missed supper. Dad is sure going to say something about that. What he will be saying something over is if I stay in here the whole day. I so much just want to get back under the covers and forget about the rest of the week. But what I want and can do is two different things. So I have no choice but to get up and have a shower. At first, the shower was a difficult thing, trying to wash and hop around in the same ce without slipping and falling t on my ass. But they say it is incredible how your other limbs adapt and make up for the one you lost. Getting dressed is going to pose a whole new problem, at the base I would walk around in shorts not caring what people said about my prosthetic leg. But mom and dad do not know so I am going to have to cover it up for now. As I make my way downstairs I can hear mom and dad whisper. ¡°I am telling you Mary that boy is hiding something.¡± ¡°John just leave him alone, he just came back from an ugly ce. He will talk when he is ready.¡± I pretend to have not heard them and walk into the kitchen. ¡°Hey mom, hey dad.¡± ¡°Morning my son, I just made your father some bacon and eggs. Can I dish you some?¡± ¡°Yes please, mom.¡± And of course, my father does not waste any time. ¡°So what are your ns for today?¡± ¡°I thought I might take a walk up on the hill.¡± ¡°Oh yes,¡± my mom eagerly starts. ¡°That new girl lives there, why don¡¯t you go say hello?¡± ¡°I am not really up to making friends now. I want to figure out what it is that I want to do.¡± If I thought my father would be sympathetic, I was wrong. ¡°I agree with you there, you don¡¯t have time to clog your head with a girl now. Don¡¯t be like your brother.¡± Mom dishes up for me as Mattes into the kitchen. ¡°What have I done now again?¡± ¡°Dad says I should not be like you.¡± ¡°Yes please don¡¯t turn into a loser.¡± My father is not the least impressed with Matt¡¯s outburst for he immediately tries to set him straight. ¡°I did not say you are a loser Matt, you should just start getting your head out the clouds.¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you just ept none of your sons are going to be a doctor?¡± ¡°If you do not throw your head away in that tech shit then you still can.¡± ¡°I am not going to be a doctor dad, deal with it.¡± I am not in the mood for this argument, it can go on and on all day long. It is the same thing over and over again almost every day. I rush to finish my breakfast and hand my mom the empty te. ¡°Mom breakfast was nice, I am going for a walk.¡± ¡°Just take your phone with in case.¡± ¡°Sure mom, I will see you for lunch.¡± I leave out the back door and start taking the path up to the hill. We use toe out here as children and y hide and seek. As we grew older and we got into girls, we use to take them to that empty house on the hill, the one where Miss Stubborn stays now. I have not attempted to try and walk this far with my leg yet but I would just about do anything to get away from that argument in the kitchen. My dad does push his doctor dream a bit too far some days. After about making it up halfway up, I decided to sit down on a nearby rock. I think maybe my attempt to walk all the way up there will have to wait for another day. I am just about to get up and leave when I am startled by a voice behind me. ¡°Hi.¡± ¡°Fuck do not creep up on a man like that.¡± ¡°Then don¡¯t be such an easy target to creep up too.¡± ¡°I did not see you on the pathway. Where did you pop out from?¡± ¡°I popped out from there at the top, I live up there on the mountain.¡± ¡°Ohhhh, Miss Stubborn.¡± ¡°Miss what?¡± ¡°They call you Miss Stubborn.¡± ¡°But they don¡¯t know my name, they don¡¯t know me. How can they say I am stubborn?¡± ¡°That is exactly why you are Miss Stubborn. They say that you don¡¯t want to speak to them.¡± ¡°Are you one of them, do you also call me Miss Stubborn?¡± ¡°No, I only got back into town yesterday. Don¡¯t worry I am not going to call you that. But what can I call you?¡± ¡°Ana. And you are?¡± ¡°Ethan, but just because you are actually so nice, you can call me Ethan.¡± ¡°Ah thanks, you can call me Ana.¡± ¡°I think I take it back, I am going to call you Miss Ana Stubborn.¡± ¡°Urgh! Stop with the stubborn. You sound like my damn husband.¡± ¡°Oh sorry, are you married?¡± ¡°Was married, he passed away six months ago.¡± ¡°Is that why you up there alone on the mountain?¡± ¡°Not that it is any of your business but yes.¡± ¡°You stubborn and feisty, I can¡¯t say that I like it.¡± ¡°I did not say you have to like me.¡± ¡°Are you always so full of shit?¡± ¡°Are you always so full of yourself?¡± ¡°That is what my toon leader also said to me.¡± ¡°Oh, are you in the Marines?¡± ¡°I was, got my bus ticket back home.¡± ¡°My husband was also in the Marines but he came back in a body bag though.¡± ¡°I am really sorry to hear that. I would invite you for coffee but I am staying with my folks.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine, do you want toe back up to my ce?¡± ¡°Only if I can post it in the town blog, I finally spoke to Miss Stubborn.¡± ¡°Urgh. How am I going to live down that name? I am not inviting the town to my home.¡± ¡°Let me take you for lunch in town tomorrow instead. What do you say?¡± ¡°First coffee and then lunch. Mmmm. What are the town folk going to say?¡± ¡°That I am lucky?¡± ¡°Now you just flirting, let me go make you that coffee.¡± I walk with Ana up to her house. She seems like a nice girl. I watch as the wind ys with her long brown hair, the way that the seams of her dress p in the breeze. She is damn hot and so beautiful. She shows me inside, it is exactly still the same as I remember it. ¡°You know the guys in town use to bring their girls out here when they wanted to getid.¡± ¡°You got to be kidding me? I live in a whore house?¡± ¡°Well now that you say it like that, yes you do.¡± ¡°Thanks for that image in my head, tonight I am going to dream of people making out.¡± ¡°Is that what you dream about? That is hot!¡± ¡°If I knew you better, I would have pped you.¡± ¡°You are quite the kinky girl, you dream of people making out and spanking men.¡± ¡°I said p and get that image of me out your head?¡± ¡°Which one? You being naked or the spanking one.¡± ¡°Urgh! You damn near impossible.¡± ¡°That is the bestpliment I have received all day.¡± She ps me on my shoulder. ¡°Does that mean that we know each better?¡± ¡°I have known you for twenty minutes and I already want to strangle you.¡± ¡°I have known you for twenty minutes and already seen you spanking men naked in my head.¡± ¡°You such a jerk.¡± ¡°Says Miss Stubborn herself.¡± ¡°The next time you say that name, I am really going to strangle you.¡± She serves us coffee while we sitting around the kitchen table. We make small talk about town, I do not ask her about her husband and she does not ask me why I left the Marine Corps. I am drinking my coffee as slow as I possibly can. I don¡¯t know what but something just wants me to stay with her. Seven years in the Corps does make a man lonely. Yes, I had a few girlfriends on and off through the years but none of it worked out. The chances of me getting a girl now, let alone her, it will never happen. I finally finish my coffee and say my goodbyes. ¡°See you at eleven tomorrow?¡± ¡°Eleven tomorrow.¡± ¡°It was nice to meet you Miss Stubborn.¡± She justughs at me as I start making my way down the path home. I do not notice the big smile on my face as I enter the kitchen. My mom is the first one to see me walking inside. ¡°You better be smiling for a good reason because you missed lunch.¡± And as my father always does, he feels to reprimand a grown-up man. ¡°Your mother phoned you nearly six times.¡± ¡°Sorry, mom but I got distracted.¡± ¡°Did you see some lovely birds up there?¡± she asks. ¡°Oh yes there is definitely a lovely bird up there.¡± ¡°Oh, what type?¡± ¡°The female type.¡± This does raise Matt¡¯s attention as he now eagerly asks. ¡°Damn dog, did you met her? ¡°Yes, I met Miss Stubborn.¡± ¡°Oh tell us about her.¡± my mom curiously asks. ¡°Is she really as pretty as Maggie says she is?¡± ¡°Mom she is beautiful, I have never seen a more beautiful woman in my life before.¡± ¡°So what is her name? When are we going to meet her?¡± ¡°Her name is Ana. And I am taking her for lunch tomorrow.¡± I watch as my father just shakes his head. ¡°Oh god, there goes the town gossip again. It seems all they talk about these days are my boys and their sex lives.¡± ¡°Dad it is just lunch.¡± ¡°Nothing is just lunch when ites to Maggie.¡± After supper I go straight upstairs to my room as I throw my jacket over the chair, a piece of paper falls out of my pocket. I smile as I open to see what it is. It is her number, it is Ana¡¯s phone number. I immediately take it and send her a text. ¡°I see you are still being sneaky¡± ¡°It is just too easy to sneak up on you.¡± ¡°I will see you tomorrow.¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Eleven. I will be waiting for you.¡± I drop my phone down onto the bed next to me. ¡°Ana.¡± I cannot stop smiling as I say her name. I have not been so excited about a girl in almost forever. I cannot wait to see her again. But as I fall asleep her name is soon forgotten as the same nightmare ys all over in my head again. Making It To First Base It is early morning and I am still lying in bed. I look over at the clock, it is only five now, this would be round about the time our toon leader wille chase our asses out of bed. There is no way I am getting my ass out of bed now, I turn over onto my good leg and fall right back to sleep. ¡­¡­¡­.. I hear rapid gunfireing in from the distance, the entire squad goes into panic as they start shouting at and over each other. I have a much-panicked soldier next to me, the fear on his face is clear is the light of day. ¡°Sir, we need to go! We need to go now!¡± ¡°Help me out! I can¡¯t move my leg!¡± He furiously tries to pull and pull, but my leg is not budging an inch. The ever-growing amount of fear is now visible in his voice. ¡°Sir I can¡¯t get you lose, try to move your leg.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t move it¡± I go dead still and realize that he is not going to get it out. ¡°It is crushed.¡± The gunfire is now getting closer and closer. It is merely but a couple a meters away from where we crashed. ¡°Leave me here, go get help.¡± ¡°Sir I can¡¯t leave you here!¡± I immediately start to raise my voice and demand him to ept my authority. But it only sounds as much as a whispering in under the gunfire. ¡°Leave me here.¡± ¡°Sir I can¡¯t.¡± ¡°It¡¯s an order soldier, go look for help.¡± ¡­¡­¡­. I am startled awake by the buzzing of my phone, after that nightmare I am very happy to see that it is Ana. ¡°Morning soldier, thanks to you I dreamt of teenagers spanking each other.¡± ¡°Hahaha now that is not my fault and I must say that is so not kinky at all.¡± ¡°Well in my dreams I was a teenager so it was fun in my head.¡± ¡°Mmmm don¡¯t go give me ideas now, I might just dress you up as a schoolgirl and spank you.¡± ¡°Hahaha, you are absolutely impossible. Get your head out the gutter, it¡¯s almost time for lunch.¡± ¡°Can¡¯t wait, see you just now Miss Stubborn¡± ¡°You better watch that mouth soldier.¡± I drop down on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I like this girl, I wonder how much she is going to like me though when she sees I am not all the man that she thinks I am. I get up and rush to the shower, it is ten, and my father is going to have a good old fit because I slept in sote. What can I say, nightmares don¡¯t keep time, and they wille for you and keep you as long as they want. I put my buddy on as I get dressed, yes that is what I call my prosthetic leg, after all, buddies are there to carry you, just this is not really the type of buddy you want. I make my way to the kitchen, I can hear my father and Matt having a bitching session so early in the morning. My father is the first to say his five cents worth. ¡°Ah look who has decided to finally wake up.¡± ¡°John don¡¯t start your nonsense, why don¡¯t you go read your book, you very annoying this morning.¡± Matt nearly topples over as my mom ps my father against the head. ¡°You tell him, mom.¡± ¡°You better watch your mouth,¡± my father warns him. ¡°You not too old to get a smack.¡± I only shake my head as this is never-ending. ¡°Is this what you guys do every morning or should I rather say every day.¡± ¡°Heins every morning about what I n to do for the day,¡± Matt exins as he moves a bit further away. ¡°Which usually is nothing,¡± my dad says as he res at Matt. ¡°His damn eyes are stuck to thatputer the whole day.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think I have the energy for that shit every morning.¡± I wave them off as I head for the back door. ¡°I am off to take Ana for lunch. I should be back for dinner mom.¡± ¡°You go have a good time, you can always bring her past here if you want.¡± ¡°And let her listen to these two, I would rather not torture the poor girl.¡± I head out the back door and make my way up the path, today the walk goes much slower, my leg is hurting from trying to push myself so far yesterday. I will just tell her my body is sore from training with my brother. I finally make it to her front door, before I even knock, it opens. ¡°Good morning soldier, I thought you weren¡¯t going toe.¡± ¡°And not give Miss old Stubborn shit, why would I pass that opportunity up?¡± ¡°Well if you are ready then I am.¡± ¡°Come let¡¯s go give this town something to talk about.¡± ¡°Mmmm it sounds like you want to start a scandal.¡± ¡°Do you feel like starting a scandal with me?¡± ¡°That depends.¡± ¡°Now what would that depend on?¡± ¡°If you spank me.¡± ¡°Hahaha, you are absolutely terrible.¡± ¡°I just had to put it out there. Those goddamn dreams were horrible, thanks to you.¡± ¡°Well, hopefully, you will be dreaming about me tonight.¡± ¡°You pretty sure about yourself. What makes you think I will dream about you?¡± ¡°You have not stop staring at me for the past five minutes. You nearly walked into that tree.¡± ¡°You would only know that I nearly walked into that tree if you were staring at me.¡± ¡°I guess then we were staring at each other.¡± We get to the road that leads to the main road into town. She goes very quiet, I don¡¯t know if she is just nervous or if she is scared. Scared why I would not know, I think she has just had herself locked away from people for far too long. ¡°Hey, Miss Stubborn.¡± ¡°Yes, soldier?¡± ¡°You here with me, I won¡¯t let these vultures eat you up, least of all Maggie.¡± She takes my hand in hers, the soft touch of her fingers against my palm sets my body on fire. I swallow deep as my cheeks turn a bright pink. ¡°You okay there soldier.¡± ¡°Never been better. We sure going to have the town talking now.¡± ¡°Well, you did say you want to give them something to talk about.¡± ¡°Well holding hands was not quite what I had in mind.¡± ¡°Mmmm and what did you have in mind?¡± ¡°I was waiting for Maggie to pop up then I was going to show you.¡± ¡°There is an olddy over there frantically typing away on her phone.¡± I look on over the road to where the coffee shop is. ¡°Yes, that is old Maggie. I am sure my mom knows we are here and a few of my ex-girlfriends.¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Well, are you going to show me now what you had in mind?¡± I spin her around and pull her into my body. I lower my lips and brush it against hers. I kiss her and it feels like the world falls away. It is slow and soft,forting in ways that words would never be. I sp her face in my hands, my thumb caressing her cheek. She runs her fingers down my spine, pulling me closer. I can feel the beating of her heart against my chest. There is a fire between us, twisting and turning. I pull her even closer until there is no space left between our trembling bodies, her warm fingers is grasping my waist, I am lost in her, I am lost in her kiss, and all my defenses give way before this mysterious girl. I pull away and rest my forehead against hers, our bodies are panting. ¡°Wow soldier, I did not expect that.¡± ¡°Sorry I kind of got carried away there, I was aiming for a peck.¡± ¡°Well your aim was far off there but I am definitely notining, now if it was that peck then I would have.¡± ¡°Hahaha can never keep a woman happy. Now, how about that lunch.¡± We walk across the road past good old Maggie, who has now shamelessly taken a picture, we are for sure going to be in her stupid little blog. Whatever keeps the poor old gal happy? I take a seat across from Ana. She is absolutely gorgeous, I see her differently now. It¡¯s like I had a taste into her soul. Her brown hair is hanging loosely over her face, framing her beautiful eyes. The smell of her sweet perfume is lingering in the air. It is intoxicating, every bit of her is just drawing me in. I want more of her, I want to kiss those soft lips again, feel her body tight into mine. ¡°What you staring at soldier?¡± ¡°At you Miss Stubborn.¡± ¡°And what are you staring at me for?¡± ¡°Can I be bluntly forward?¡± ¡°Be as blunt as you want.¡± ¡°You are beautiful and I want to kiss you again.¡± ¡°Guess it is your lucky day because I want to kiss you again too.¡± I pull her closer over the table. Our lips touch. It feels like sparks are flying in every direction. It is a small yet warm kiss. I honestly never knew a kiss so innocent could be so intimate and electrifying. Our lips are moving in perfect sync, this kiss is deeper, more passionate. She makes me feel like nothing else but this moment matters. A smile grows on my face as we finally pull apart. ¡°For a soldier that has had no girlfriends, you sure know how to kiss.¡± ¡°Hahaha for some old stubborn girl you sure know how to let loose.¡± ¡°Be careful soldier, just now you fall in love with me.¡± I think she might just be right, I can see myself falling for a girl that¡¯s not going to want me when she sees the real me. We have the best time that I have had in a while. She makes me forget about all my problems, all my fears, she is simply an amazing woman. ¡°Guess we better head on back soldier before lunch turns into dinner too.¡± ¡°Maybe I want to keep you for myself a bit longer.¡± ¡°Maybe we can go do it at that whore house of mine.¡± ¡°Hahaha just as long as you don¡¯t spank me.¡± ¡°Now that is a dream I can have tonight.¡± ¡°Believe me I¡¯d prefer that one too.¡± We slowly make our way back to her ce. My leg is hurting like a bitch but I put on a brave face and push ahead. I can almost see it¡¯s bruised and bleeding. We get back to her ce. We are standing in the kitchen while she is making coffee. She slowly walks on over to where I stand. ¡°Do you know what soldier?¡± She slowly starts unbuttoning my shirt. ¡°They say that soldiers have the best six-packs in the world.¡± ¡°Hahaha, I think you just made that up.¡± She continues to unbutton my shirt. ¡°So take this off and prove me wrong.¡± She slips my shirt off and it drops to the floor. ¡°Mmmm this is damn hot.¡± She pulls at the buckle of my belt. My body freezes¡­ ¡°I think I must go.¡± I put my shirt on and head out the door. ¡°Fuck!¡± I shout as I walk down the path. When I get home I go straight to my room and drop down on the bed. Tears start building up in my eyes. I slowly pull my pants up and look at my leg. It is bruised and bleeding. To think that she nearly saw this bruised and broken man. Chapter 4 Unexpected Surprise Fear has broken me into tiny uncountable pieces, shattered me like the worst ever disaster, ruined me in the cruelest way, and killed my soul brutally like there is no tomorrow. I fear to love, I want to love but I fear to be loved, to be epted for who I am. Love is supposed to ept all but does it truly ept all thing that is broken Ana wanted me in all the ways I want her to have me, I wanted to feel a woman, touch a woman and be with a woman the way that a man should be but I could not. She might be what I want but I am not what she needs. I have just woken up from that never-ending dream that torments my sleep every night. My phone has been buzzing, as I reach on over to look, I can see it is Ana. ¡°Is it something I did? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me why you left.¡± Just as I am about to put my phone down, it lights up again. It is Ana. ¡°Come on soldier, you are killing me. What is going on?¡± I put my phone back down without replying to her. How do I even exin to her how I feel, I am crazy for her, she gives me those butterflies that flutter in your stomach, she makes me finish my sentences the wrong way around, she is like a breath of fresh air after the rain. But I can¡¯t have her, so why should I tell her how I feel. I decide to get my ass out of bed and have a shower. Just as I get up to go to the bathroom, there is a knock from my mother on the door.¡± ¡°Ethan. Ethan are you awake?¡± She does not wait for me to answer before shees into my room. I am standing in my boxers, on my one leg leaning against the wall, watching the entire moment unravel. ¡°OH GOD ETHAN NO WHAT HAPPENED?¡± She runs towards me and grabs me by my shoulders, tears are streaming down her face. I can hear her voice tremble as she tries to speak. Her body shakes as tears continue to roll down her cheeks. ¡°Ethan, what happened?¡± I just stand there leaning against the wall, my fears are starting toe to surface. I can see the look in my own mother¡¯s eyes as she is staring at my amputated leg. ¡°God Ethan please answer me. What happened?¡± ¡°I do not answer her, I don¡¯t know what to say, nothing I will say to her will make this better for either one of us. ¡°Ethan please talk to me?¡± I take a deep breath and hop my way back to bed. I can see the horror in her eyes as she watches me. This is my mother, if she acts like this, how will Ana take it. Finally, I speak. ¡°We went out on a routine patrol when we came under attack from a group of militia that moved into town the previous night. We could not fall back so we had to go through town. The road we went down was not swept for mines yet. Our patrol vehicle hit a mine, it messed up the front pretty bad and my leg got crushed between the seat and front panel.¡± I watch her before she speaks. ¡°But could they not¡­ could they not save your leg?¡± ¡°No mom, it was pretty messed up as well.¡± ¡°But why¡­ why did you not tell us?¡± ¡°Because I knew how you were going to act and what dad was going to say.¡±Property of N?)(velDr(a)ma.Org. ¡°When did it happen?¡± ¡°Myst deployment, three months ago.¡± I watch as she crumbles to pieces, she grabs me in her arms and hugs me like there is not shit for tomorrow. She cries, no not cry, she whales, it is the worst sound I have heard in months, I thought a soldier that is close to dying sounded bad, it is nothing closepared to my mother¡¯s crying. ¡°We must tell your dad.¡± ¡°Not now mom, I am not ready. You know what he is going to say.¡± ¡°What are you going to do now?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know mom that is why I am here, so I can figure things out.¡± ¡°But can¡¯t you go back to the core, get like a desk job or something?¡± ¡°If I can¡¯t do what I love then I don¡¯t want to do it.¡± ¡°Oh Ethan, I am so sorry.¡± We sit there for another few minutes and talk, after she leaves, I make sure to lock the door before I head to the shower. As I hop out to dry and get dressed, my phone buzzes again. It is Ana. ¡°Seriously are you going to be that type of man? You don¡¯t kiss a girl like that and then go all dead on me.¡± I so want to reply to her but I just can¡¯t, I know that the longer I spend time with her, the more I am going to fall and I am going to fall hard for her. And soon I am going to want her in ways which I can¡¯t, not that I can¡¯t perform, cause, believe me, I can, I can¡¯t let her see me like this. I spend another hour in my room before I finally make my way out to the kitchen to grab some much-needed coffee. My dad and Matt are bickering as per usual. ¡°I am telling you, Matt, you won¡¯t go wrong if you go into medicine.¡± ¡°And I am telling you dad that it is not going to happen.¡± ¡°Well, what do you intend on doing with your life?¡± ¡°Dad it is my life, I will decide what I want to do with it when I am ready.¡± I think it is time for me to step in for I can see Matt getting frustrated. ¡°It feels like I heard this conversation yesterday already.¡± ¡°It is because he has this conversation every day. Wait until he starts with you.¡± ¡°Well dad will be getting the same answer from me and no I am not going into medicine. The closest I am getting to medicine is the painkillers that I will be taking for this damn headache I have had all morning.¡± My mom offers to go get me something from our medicine cab. ¡°Wait let me go grab something for you Ethan¡± She knows that I am referring to my leg. It is bruised up bad from all the walking of the past two days. ¡°I get the painkillers from her with a cup of coffee and head into the lounge where Matt is now sitting and watching some crime series. This is so going to grind my father¡¯s ass, his two useless sons sitting and vegetating in front of the television. My phone buzzes again. It is Ana. ¡°Okay soldier if you ain¡¯ting to me then I aming to you.¡± Well, that made no sense at all, that is at least what I think until someone is buzzing at the front door. ¡°Don¡¯t everybody get up all at once,¡± Matt says as he gets up. ¡°I will do ya all a favor and grab it.¡± I only butugh at him ¡°Look at Matty boy being so all considerate.¡± ¡°If it is a hot chick then Matty boy keeps her.¡± ¡°I think you have run out of girls to keep.¡± ¡°Ya ya we will see, there is always a new girl in town.¡± Sometimes I do wonder about the boy, I mean, we can¡¯t be any more different than an apple and an orange. Who is the apple and who is the orange is left to be seen? I hear him hollering some shit from the front door but I do not pay much attention. ¡°Are you deaf?¡± He ps me against the head. ¡°Are you stupid?¡± I p him in return. ¡°You not supposed to p me back.¡± ¡°You not supposed to p me in the first ce. Who was at the door?¡± ¡°Your girlfriend.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have a girlfriend.¡± ¡°Yes you do, the girl that you were snogging at the coffee shop yesterday.¡± ¡°How do you know¡­ oh yes I forget, old Maggie? So who was really at the door?¡± ¡°Me soldier¡± My jaw drops to the floor and every moving muscle goes stiff. ¡°Ana.¡± ¡°Yes, that is me, well when I checked this morning it was.¡± ¡°What are you doing here?¡± ¡°Coming to check why my soldier has gone AWOL.¡± ¡°Keep those paws to yourself bro,¡± I warn him yfully even though every bone in my body means it. ¡°I got a girl but if you don¡¯t want this one I can always make a n.¡± ¡°There is a bit smile that appears on Ana¡¯s face. ¡°Let¡¯s guess he is one of those guys spanking girls in my house.¡± ¡°Hahaha, you dead right there.¡± ¡°Says him, I can tell you quite a few stories about this boy.¡± Matt starts off as he is ready to begin. ¡°Stories you will keep to yourself if you don¡¯t want your face broken.¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you go grab me some coffee soldier,¡± Ana says. ¡°Matty can tell me all about them.¡± ¡°Taking charge again I see. Grab a chair, I will be back in a second.¡± Now I have a stupid damn ass smile on my face. Why did she have toe show up here all good looking like that, the woman has got my blood boiling now. The minute Matt disappears I am so all over her. I get her a cup from the fresh pot of coffee, check my hair in the reflection of the oven, and make my way back to the lounge. Her clever ass made sure to sit on the seat right next to me, fuck I just hope she does not try and touch me. ¡°So is this what you boys do all day?¡± ¡°This and argue with our father.¡± Matt jokingly says. ¡°You argue, I just listen,¡± I add. Thenpletely of topic, Ana turns to me. ¡°Maybe I should have phoned you then cause there sure as hell is something wrong with your fingers.¡± ¡°Maybe I was busy.¡± ¡°Matt!¡± ¡°What? I don¡¯t know which hand you type with? What the fuck were you thinking?¡± ¡°You better start running because I am going to smack your wise ass.¡± ¡°Now that you remind me, I need to get running, Elle is waiting for me. You two love birds can be alone.¡± Before I can even try and stop him, he is out the front door leaving me and Isabelle alone. What do I do now, I mean I know what I want to do but I know she is going to want an exnation for what happened yesterday. So what do I do, the best thing a soldier can do, create a diversion? Chapter 5 Box Of Memories Forget what you think you know about love because it is not real. To love you need to take that risk, you need to make that choice to fall. If you do not fall in love and experience that love, then it is not worth taking that risk at all. Falling is easy but love is hard. If love is hard, how easy would it take someone for what they are? To me, near impossible, I want to fall in love but I cannot give someone who I truly am. I would rather deal with my broken bones than a broken heart, So Ana loves taking charge, my sessful attempts at ignoring her have blown up in my face, she has shown me that she is one over me, if I do not respond to her, she responds to me. ¡°Why have you been ignoring me, soldier?¡± ¡°I¡­ I have been busy.¡± ¡°Busy pping your brother against the head busy?¡± ¡°No busy with other things busy.¡± ¡°Like other things like ignoring me busy?¡± ¡°I¡­ I did¡­ I just.¡± She looks at me, tapping her finger on her chin, patiently waiting for me to spit the crap out that is about toe out of my mouth. ¡°I¡­ I was¡­¡± Just screw this! I wrap my hand around the nape of her neck and pull her closer to my lips. ¡°What are you doing soldier?¡± ¡°Avoiding your questions Miss Stubborn.¡± My lips brush against hers, innocent and like a tease but it¡¯s not innocence that I want, I want fire and passion. I want to lose myself in her and in this moment. She pulls away, leaving our lips just inches away from touching.¡± ¡°Soldier,¡± she whispers my name. ¡°Ana¡± I smile, prolonging each letter as if to savor them. My heart flutters as she sps her hands on either side of my face. Never before has any woman made me feel so good. I pull her body into mine and cover her mouth in a hungry kiss. As our lips crush together, it feels like I am walking on air, the way her lips fit perfectly with mine. Her mouth is so warm, the caress of her lips is soft, and she tastes better than I can remember. Desire and lust fill me, I open my mouth with a low moan. ¡°You are forgiven¡­ for now,¡± she whispers in my ear. ¡°If it was not for your mom standing there I would have definitely dropped those pants this time.¡± I am shocked to my senses. As I look at the entrance of the lounge, my mother, with the most sinister smile on her face, is standing and watching us. ¡°MOM! How long have you been standing there?¡± ¡°Oh me? I just got here. I wanted toe to check who is at the door.¡± ¡°It¡¯s Ana, the girl that lives up the mountain.¡± I know at this point that her curiosity has gotten the most of her, there is no way I can even try to tell her to leave us alone. Definitely not after our little disy of affection, thank god Ana spoke when she did because my hands were very near to start and wonder. ¡°OH HI, Ana, I am Mary.¡± ¡°Hi Mary, it¡¯s nice to meet you, soldier here talks a lot of you.¡±Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org. ¡°Soldier?¡± my mom asks slightly confused. ¡°Ana likes calling me soldier mom, I think it is because she has forgotten my name.¡± ¡°HAHAHA,¡± Ana burst outughing. ¡°I still know who you are Ethan Hunter.¡± ¡°Mmmm you going for the full name, normally I only get called Ethan when I messed something up.¡± ¡°Well don¡¯t think that I have not forgotten you running out on mest night.¡± My mom sits analyzing the conversation not knowing if she should stay or should she rather go but I am pretty sure she has a good idea what Ana is referring to. I watch her very carefully as she speaks. ¡°Sorry Ana, that was my fault, he had toe to help me with packing up his room. Seeing that he is staying, we had to pack up his old stuff.¡± ¡°I am sure he will make it up to me, won¡¯t you soldier?¡± ¡°I¡­ uhm¡­ I¡­ I..¡± I stuttering like an idiot. My mother jumps in again and it seems that she has a sneakishly brilliant idea, I just know that I am not going to like it. You never let your mom and your girlfriend talk, there is just something that does not sit well putting them both together. Now if you want all your embarrassing secrets out, you ask my mom and of course old Maggie, and believe me, I prefer Maggie¡¯s secrets and not my mom¡¯s ¡°Ana,¡± my mom speaks as a wicked smile forms at the corner of her mouth. ¡°Have you seen his photos from the core yet? I see he has been hiding them away from me in his room.¡± ¡°MOM! What are you scratching for in my stuff?¡± ¡°It was just standing there, I could not help myself.¡± ¡°Just standing there does not mean you must climb into it. I was still checking which photos you can take.¡± ¡°Well it is toote, I have already decided which ones I want to take.¡± ¡°Bet it is all the ones I did not want you to have. And I swear if any of themnds up with old Maggie!¡± ¡°Why Ethan, I would never do something to you like that to you or your brother?¡± ¡°Yes, mom I believe you just as much as I believe that Matt does not have another girlfriend.¡± ¡°Oh he does, I saw the two of them yesterday. Well, Maggie saw them, not me, but she told me.¡± ¡°Oh my god, what is wrong with this family. Never mind us but with Maggie?¡± ¡°Agh stop being so dramatic soldier, let me see those photos.¡± Ana excitedly says. ¡°Scoot up so I can sit next to you.¡± My momes to wiggle herself between us as she sits down. I only but look at the two of them and their eager smiles on their faces. ¡°I am going to regret this¡± She starts flipping through the ones they took the day I left to join the core. That was an amazing day, well for me at least, my mom could not stop crying and dad, just could not stop cursing. It was by far the happiest day of my life. ¡°Ahhh soldier you look so cute,¡± Ana says as she takes the photo from my mom. ¡°That is when he still had hair.¡± ¡°Mom don¡¯t you dare!¡± ¡°But son, all soldiers lose their hair.¡± ¡°Yes and not all soldiers like being seen without it!¡± And like I can really stop her, she is already shing the worst possible one she can find in front of Ana¡¯s face where I believe, which other¡¯s will argue, is the photo where I almost have no hair at all ¡°Sorry soldier but that is near damn ugly.¡± ¡°And there I thought you liked me for who I am and not my looks.¡± ¡°I am an all-looks kind of girl.¡± I just look at her as I think to myself (Well honey wait until you see my leg then, your all look kind of girl ass is going to be out the door.) ¡°I think it makes you look like a real man.¡± My mom adds. ¡°Mom since when does a haircut make a man? I would like to believe I became a real man when I left for the core.¡± ¡°You are a real man my son, I just wish sometimes that you did not have to grow up so fast.¡± She starts flipping through the photos again when all of a sudden Ana shouts. ¡°STOP! I want to see that one.¡± Pointing to a photo my mom was just about to pass. A photo that the toon leader took of me shirtless after a morning jog. ¡°Damn Mary, you surely know how to make your boys. Just look at those muscles. I am pretty sure you can melt butter on that chest.¡± ¡°Ana! You cannot say something like that to my old mother, you will give her a heart attack.¡± ¡°Believe me heart attack is what I felt the first time that I saw it.¡± I almost near damn joke at my mother¡¯s next words. ¡°Ana I am sure your fingers can get lost in that curves.¡± ¡°Mother! It¡¯s my stomach you are referring to! Can we please move on!¡± Next, we just flip through a whole bunch of them showing me in uniform at base and on deployment. Most of the photos are of me and all my core buddies just messing around with a few serious ones. Until atst the torture is done or so I think¡­ ¡°Wait!¡± she stops my mom again. ¡°What is that one?¡± (Fuck fuckedy fuck.) Ana is pointing to a photo, one of the veryst photos that my core buddies took of me. A photo where I amying in bed where you can see my amputated leg wrapped up in bandage underneath the nkets.¡± ¡°Shit soldier. Did you get hurt down there?¡± I look at my mother that is sitting next to her in absolute horror, the color has drained from my face as I look for the answer in my mother¡¯s eyes. She has saved me up until so far, can she save me again. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. ¡°Just a few broken bones, nothing major serious.¡± ¡°Is that the leg you walk with so funny,¡± she asks. ¡°Did those bones not healed back the way they should of?¡± ¡°You know our soldiers, I did not stay off the leg when I was supposed to.¡± ¡°At least you came back in one piece soldier that is all that matters.¡± ¡°I guess it is.¡± ¡°Well, that is enough of that then.¡± My mom says as she gets off the couch. ¡°Can I get you, kids, something from the kitchen?¡± ¡°Just a coffee if you making mom. It feels I can do with something strong at the moment.¡± ¡°That would be nice, a coffee for me too Mary.¡± Ana turns to me with that beautiful smile of hers. There is something on her mind, by the look in her deep brown eyes, it must be something important. ¡°Soldier, I never asked you why you got your bus ticket back home.¡± Chapter 6 Let Your Walls Crumble Don¡¯t just break your walls down to let someone in, make them work for it, make them show that they are worth it. Wait for that one that is willing to climb your walls just to find you that will break them down just to get to you. The one that is looking for you, all that you are in body, mind, and soul. The worst reason to break down your walls is just for the physical, let love in before giving that part that you are not willing to expose. I have done my very best to ignore Ana again. It¡¯s day count two, I answer her briefly when I think it warrants. Yes, I am the dumb ass that starts it and when ites to pulling through, I do my famous now you see me and now you don¡¯t hear from my act. The damn woman is fine and god knows I want her, not only physically but on a much deeper level than that, I just wish I can get past that part that is in the way¡­ my leg. I am sitting in the lounge with Matt and his new girlfriend when my phone rings. It is Ana. ¡°Stop ignoring the woman and answer the damn phone,¡± Matt says with a hint of irritation in his voice. ¡°You should have figured by now that she is not going to go away.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t and you know it.¡± ¡°Bro she likes you for you, not your damn leg.¡± ¡°Matt! Watch your mouth. She does not know. And anyway she likes the full version of a person that is me, well that she thinks is me.¡± ¡°Bro, I just wish you will out with it. You know that the old man is going to blow a valve when he finally finds out. I don¡¯t think Ana will even think near the same.¡± My phone buzzes. It¡¯s Ana. ¡°I am starting to feel like a stalker bitch soldier, throw a girl some rope here.¡± ¡°HAHAHA. Are you drowning girl?¡± ¡°Aha, he is alive! You¡¯re a sight for sore words. I am missing you over here in my whore house.¡± ¡°Are you dreaming of spanking again?¡± ¡°Only of you my soldier. When am I going to see your sweet ass again, well I still need to see it and oh boy can¡¯t I wait to see it, I mean when can a girl see her man?¡± ¡°Mmmm your man? Now that I like the sound of. When did I be your man?¡± ¡°Since you have been feeding me all those honey kisses which by the way I am out of. I need some more like yesterday already!¡± ¡°Hahaha you will give a guy some serious big head here¡± ¡°HAHAHA, soldier get your ass here! There is some real head I would like to give you.¡± ¡°What about me and Matty and his new attachmente for dinner?¡± ¡°As long as it brings me you then I am up for it.¡± ¡°Perfect, this sweet ass will being up in an hour.¡± ¡°I will crack out one of my finest whips just for you.¡± ¡°Hahaha see youter my boo.¡± I wish I knew what I am doing, I mean I want to see her, yes, but I know I am going to push her away as soon as it gets too serious, I guess that is why I am taking Matt with. Maybe I should just stick my pride and tell her about it. Let¡¯s wait and see what happens tonight.¡± ¡°Listen here dumb ass,¡± I turn to look at Matt. ¡°Whatever you had nned for this evening has just been canceled.¡± ¡°Are you throwing me and my girl out the lounge for Ana for Ana?¡± ¡°No, you and¡­¡± I turn to the girl sitting next to Matt. ¡°Sorry girl but I don¡¯t think I caught your name.¡± ¡°It is Chloe.¡± I turn back to face Matt again. ¡°You and Chloe areing for dinner at Ana.¡± ¡°Are you perhaps trying to not be alone with her?¡±Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org. ¡°I am trying to avoid a situation where I need to lie to her or push her away again.¡± ¡°Well,¡± Chloe says. ¡°I need to go home and change then and grab a few bottles of wine. Do you want toe with Matty? My parents aren¡¯t at home.¡± ¡°Fuck girl,¡± Matt excitedly says. ¡°Only if you let me take them off with my teeth this time.¡± I listen in horror to the wordsing out of his mouth. ¡°Fuck man, that is not what I wanted to think about now, I hardly know the girl and now I got an image of her in my head with just her panties on.¡± ¡°Damn bro, who said I was talking about her panties? You seriously need to getid.¡± ¡°Just get your ass out here and be there at seven, I will have your balls to the cat if you arete.¡± ¡°Yup you need to getid.¡± Matt and Chloe are out the door to her ce so she can go change while I head upstairs to go do the same. I bump into my mother just as I am about to enter my room. ¡°Are you guys going over to Ana tonight?¡± ¡°Mom, are you listening to our conversation again?¡± ¡°Your dad is annoying me, so I ignore whatever he says.¡± ¡°Is hementating on the story he is watching again?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know why he watches it if he thinks he knows more than the presenter. It drives the shit out of me.¡± ¡°I would invite you with to Ana.¡± ¡°Please no. I see enough of your brother¡¯s face down every girl in town¡¯s throat, I don¡¯t want to see yours too.¡± ¡°Mom my face is not going to be down Ana¡¯s throat.¡± ¡°Oh my son, every time she is going to try touch that leg or talk about the core, it is definitely going to be down her throat.¡± ¡°Mom I am just not ready yet.¡± ¡°I understand, I really do. Now go have fun before the old manes with his shit.¡± I head into my room and lock the door behind me so that I can change. It takes me several attemptster and a very chaotic room full of clothes and I am finally ready to head off to Ana.¡± I bump into my mom again as I leave through the back door. ¡°Good luck Ethan.¡± ¡°Thanks, mom, I think we are going to be home quitete, Matt¡¯s girl is whipping out the wine.¡± ¡°Just be careful down here thatte at night.¡± ¡°Will do mom, love you.¡± I give her a kiss on the cheek and start heading up the road. With every step that I take, it feels like my heart is getting smaller and smaller from the suffocating feeling I feel surrounding it. What the hell is wrong with me, it¡¯s only a girl, a girl I feel that I am about to die over. I have never felt so anxious in my life before, this is a good anxious but also a good scary one. She is worth every scary moment I feel but is she worth letting that wall down tonight. As I get closer to her house, I see her sitting outside on the deck with a ss of wine in her hand. She is breathtaking, watching her brings a smile to my heart, god I wish, I wish so many things that I would want to do to her. The thing is, I have not even tried being with a woman with my leg like this. I mean, do you take it off or do you leave it on when you do it? And what can I do, is there like only certain positions that we can do, how do you even begin to have sex like this. I clear my head and make my way up to her. ¡°Evening Miss Stubborn.¡± ¡°Evening my soldier.¡± ¡°You look amazing.¡± ¡°Not half as amazing as what you make me feel now that I see you.¡± I take her ss of wine from her hands and put it on the table. I pull her into my embrace and deep into my chest. ¡°There is that rippled stomach that I have missed.¡± She says as she runs her fingers over every inched of my rippled abs. ¡°I think you are confusing my muscles with my lips.¡± ¡°Mmmmm there is that too.¡± My hands drift to her hips and I pull her closer. Slowly I press my lips against hers. Her plump, velvety lips against my slimmer, warm ones, dancing around and bonding together. My insistent mouth is parting her trembling lips, sending wild tremors through my body, and inflicting sensations I have never known I had. No one has ever kissed me like this, she is waking a feeling and slowly crumbling that wall. ¡°Mmmmm keep doing that and we sending your brother home.¡± ¡°Talk about Matt, he iste.¡± ¡°Early bro.¡± Matt and Chloee walking out of the house. ¡°We got here before you.¡± Chloe hands me a ss of wine ¡°d we did cause by the looks of that you would be having each other for dinner,¡± Matt says with a slightly amused smile on his face. I reach over and p him behind the head. ¡°Says Mister Casanova himself. You were probably trying to suck out her third lung inside the kitchen there.¡± He ps me behind the head. ¡°Duh bro, you only have two lungs.¡± I p him behind the head. ¡°I am sure Chloe has none left.¡± He ps me behind the head. ¡°Are you boys going to p each other the whole night like that?¡± Ana asks as she watching the ping pong match of pping heads. ¡°I can always bring out that whip.¡± ¡°Boo, I thought you keeping that for us forter? I wink at her and smile. ¡°Hahaha be careful what you wish for soldier.¡± Matt goes to feed wood to a big bonfire he is building, while the girls go inside to grab snacks and a full bottle of wine. ¡°Just so you know for you f. y. i this girl is crazy about you bro.¡± ¡°Why, did she say something?¡± ¡°He asked if you did not like her cause you keep pushing her away. Told her she must be patient, the core fucked you up.¡± ¡°Geez I don¡¯t know if I should say thank you, but you right, the core did fuck me up for this woman.¡± ¡°Bro the worst the girl can do is tell you to fuck off. Now just give her a chance maybe she won¡¯t.¡± ¡°Matt, I hope you are right, she makes me feel things, you know things deep down inside that stir every string of your heart.¡± ¡°Bro I think you call that being in love.¡± Just then the girlse back outside, we all cuddle up around the fire. Ana is sitting on my left-hand side with her fingers interlocked in my hands. Her head is resting on my shoulder, the sweet scent of her almost feel her heart beating through her ears. Her touch and smell is overwhelming every feeling I feel inside. I gently take her hand andy it on my leg. ¡°Is this the one that was broken?¡± ¡°No this is the better one of them.¡± ¡°Was it sore?¡± ¡°Was what sore?¡± ¡°When you broke your leg?¡± ¡°Be, boo, I never had so much pain in my life before, I thought I would die.¡± ¡°Is that why you don¡¯t want to let me touch or talk about it?¡± ¡°There is a lot more to that story my boo.¡± ¡°Are you going to tell me one day or are you going to keep on pushing me away?¡± ¡°You know how it is to be with a soldier.¡± ¡°Yes, maybe I should call you Mr. Stubborn then.¡± Chapter 7 One Step Into The Uknown If I have not said this before, I am saying this again. Life is made up of a series of defining moments, most of them determined by you but a few, some by others. How I choose, next, will define what my rtionship with Ana will be. ¡°So what do you say, soldier? Will you spend the night with me?¡± ¡°I¡­ uhm¡­ I¡­¡± She asked me to spend the night, not have sex; it does not mean that if that is the only thing I have on my mind right now that she has. She wants to share a bed with me, to sleep, well that is what I think. What the hell does spend the night mean these days? ¡°I promise I don¡¯t bite, well only if you don¡¯t want me to.¡± ¡°If you allow me to bite back, then I will definitely stay with you.¡± ¡°You can do anything you want to me, soldier.¡± ¡°You say anything?¡± I lean down and softly kiss the tender area at the base of her neck. ¡°Mmm, carry on doing that, and I am definitely chasing your brother away.¡± ¡°Can you keep that mouth still for one second so I can kiss those lips?¡± ¡°And if I don¡¯t?¡± ¡°Well, then I am just going to have to pin you down to that chair.¡± ¡°Start pinning soldier boy because I ain¡¯t zipping them.¡± ¡°Hahaha, I am not that easy, my boo.¡± She leans her head closer to me, and her lips meet mine. The touch is passionate and filled with hunger. There is a fire rushing through my veins. ¡°Mmmm, you taste so sweet; I need more of that.¡± She runs her hand down my chest, tangling her fingers in my shirt¡¯s buttons. ¡°And I need more of this.¡± ¡°Hahaha, you need more of my clothes?¡± She bites at my lower lip.Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°I want what is underneath this shirt.¡± ¡°If you keep on biting like that, you might just get it.¡± ¡°I thought you were going to bite back?¡± ¡°Who said I was going to bite your lips.¡± ¡°Hahaha, are you having dirty thoughts there, soldier?¡± ¡°I was talking about your neck; what are you thinking about, my boo?¡± I pull her hair to the side to expose the bare of her neck; gently, Iy soft kisses up and down. The fire that is burning between our bodies is twisting and turning, ready to explode.¡± Just as I start working my way back up to her tender, smooth lips, Matt interrupts ¡°Hey lovebirds, me and Chloe are going to head on out; she is not feeling so well.¡± ¡°Sure, man, let me walk you out.¡± Before he can even protest, I am up and ready to see him at the door. ¡°Chloe, my ass is sick,¡± I just look at him, knowing what stunt he is trying to pull. ¡°Why don¡¯t you guys just stay here?¡± ¡°So you can have an excuse not to finish what you are starting there.¡± ¡°I am not starting anything.¡± ¡°Ya, right, you are only about to devour her like an animal there.¡± ¡°She is goddamn gorgeous; how can I not want to.¡± ¡°Bro, don¡¯t overthink the shit, just see how far you are willing to take it.¡± ¡°Hahaha, if you see me with a shiner, then you know how far it went.¡± ¡°Hey, she might even surprise you. Now get back there before she gets cold.¡± ¡°Fuck man, you make her sound like a piece of meat.¡± ¡°Bro, just get your dumb ass back there. I will see you in the morning.¡± I show both of them out and make my way back to Ana. That calm, carefree me of before is nowpletely gone; once again, I am terrified to be alone with her. As I turn the corner by the deck, she is sitting there as beautiful as ever. ¡°Do you want more wine, soldier?¡± ¡°Please, boo, let me go grab a full bottle.¡± I make my way to the kitchen; I know what I am doing, and I better stop it; it is not like I cane to the kitchen every half hour now, can I. Trust me, I swear I will find something else to do. Maybe I should just go home. Second thought, maybe she does not want more, and I am just overthinking shit, as Matt said. I get a bottle of red from the counter and make my way back to the deck. Before I sit down again, I pour us both a full ss. ¡°Shame. I hope Chloe feels all right.¡± ¡°Come one boo, do you really think she is sick? As far as I know, her parents are away for the weekend.¡± ¡°Hahaha, look at me being a dumb bimbo.¡± ¡°Hahaha, you said that, not me.¡± ¡°Hey, you better watch out, soldier.¡± ¡°Or what?¡± She puts her ss down on the table, my body freezes. ¡°Or this.¡± Our lips crash together like colliding stars. Everything around us fades away; the only thing that exists is the passion and the spark between us. My hand moves to the back of her head, and my fingers tangle in her thick brown hair, pulling her even closer. I press my tongue to the seam of her lips and delve inside her mouth. ¡°Mmm, you have never kissed me like this before.¡± She says as a small moan escapes from her lips. ¡°Do you want me to stop?¡± She does not answer; she goes to work at the buttons of my shirt. Undoing them slowly, one by one, until she has me fully exposed. Her hands work their way around my body, feeling each crevasse, each line along my perfect chest. She runs her hand down to the lining of my denim and slides it between the fabric and my skin. My entire body stiffens. ¡°I.. I¡­ hold that thought; I need to go to the bathroom.¡± ¡°Fuck soldier, you have the worst timing in the world.¡± I rush off my chair and go to the bathroom. Fuck! What is wrong with me, I have the most gorgeous woman in the world all over me, and I keep on running away. I drop my pants to the floor and sit on the side of the bath. I need to see how bad my leg is still bruised from the other day and if I want her to see it. I rx my leg and press the depress release button on the top part of my prosthesis. Gently and slowly, I move the prosthesis just a little from the remaining part of my leg and release the button. I slowly pull the prosthetic socket from my leg. The bruising has gone down a bit but do I still want her to see it. I put my leg back on and join up with her at the deck again. ¡°I almost thought you went all missing on me there again, soldier.¡± ¡°Hahaha, you missing me that much already.¡± ¡°Come here so I can show you how much I have really missed you.¡± She pulls me closer by my belt and presses her lips against my rippled stomach. I gasp, and a deep moan escapes my lips. ¡°Mmm, that feels amazing, boo.¡± She runs her hand over the bulge that is forming in my pants. ¡°Oh god, Ana!¡± Is the only words I can get out before she massages me in the palm of her hand. ¡°Fuck Ana.¡± She continues to rub my ever-so-growing erection. I am throbbing and ready to explode. ¡°Boo, if you keep doing that, then I am going to explode.¡± ¡°But that is the whole point, soldier.¡± ¡°Fuck I don¡¯t even think I willst for a minute.¡± How do I give her what she wants without having to bare myself nude in front of her? I am not ready, not today, maybe tomorrow or the day after but not today? I lift her up from the chair around the waist and slide her ass onto the cold table. She screams at the touch. ¡°Damn, that is freezing. I knew I should not have worn a skirt.¡± ¡°But then I could not have done this.¡± I slide my hand up her thighs and knot my fingers in the stic of her panties. I slowly start pulling them down her legs. ¡°What are you doing soldier,¡± ¡°Ssshhh. Do you want me to stop?¡± ¡°Mmm, please don¡¯t.¡± She raises her knees as I pull her panties over and toss them to the side. She works at the buckle of my pants, but I push her body down onto the table and pin her down by her hands. I look at her half-naked body that is glowing in the light of the moon. I have not had a woman for as long as I can remember, and I want her now. ¡°Ana, I want you; I don¡¯t think I can keep it in anymore.¡± ¡°Soldier, I have wanted you since the very first day we met.¡± ¡°Fuck boo.¡± I start to unbuckle my belt and drop my pants just enough not to see my prosthetic leg. Then before I know-how, our naked skin is moving softly together, and I am inside of her. She arches her back, I grab her by the waist, and I plunge into her. She screams and grabs the edges of the table. I slow down, and our tongues entwine in a kiss. In seconds I am thrusting and fucking her again. ¡°Oh, soldier, that feels so good.¡± ¡°Do you want me to go faster, boo?¡± ¡°Mmm, yes, go faster.¡± She gyrates in slow insistent circles; I rock with every thrust. Our bodies are bucking and arching and colliding in almost perfect rhythm. ¡°Fuck Ana, you feel so good.¡± ¡°Mmm, go harder, soldier.¡± I keep up the rhythm relentlessly. With each stroke, I slide my hot throbbing fleshpletely into her. I drive in deeper, with each thrust increasing pace. ¡°Boo, I am not going tost for much longer.¡± I can no longer resist the increasing pressure. It¡¯s hard to hold back, to make the momentst. I am so caught between the intoxication of the climax and extending a moment; I never want it to end. I let out a deep growl as I find my release. With one final thrust, my body shudders, and I explode inside of her. In that split second, every nerve in my body is electrified. My body falls down, panting until we both catch our breaths Once I have regained my bnce, I quickly pull up my pants before she gets off the table. Wow, soldier, where did you learn that?¡± ¡°Hahaha, definitely not at the Corps.¡± ¡°Did not take you for the table kind of guy.¡± ¡°Hey, a man had to improvise, did not think I would make it to the bedroom. ¡°Hahaha, we are going to have to go to the bedroom sooner orter.¡± And that poses a whole new problem. I cannot sleep with my prosthesis. I might have avoided the sex part, but how do I get past this one. Chapter 8 No More Hiding They say that broken people give broken love. But are all people not broken in some way? It just depends on how well you sow yourself up at the start of each day. I am not ready to show Ana how broken I really am, but I also do not want to mess up this good thing. I have one of two choices, I walk out, and this ends here, or I stay and might not be able to walk for the next few days. Thest time I slept with my prosthetic leg on, I hurt my stump and could only use my crutches for those next couple of days. And that poses apletely new problem as I do not have crutches here. Yes, I am so overthinking this, but all decisionse with consequences. ¡°Boo.¡± ¡°Yes, soldier?¡± ¡°Come here.¡± I pull her closer. ¡°Yes, soldier?¡± ¡°I just wanted to taste your sweet lips.¡± ¡°You starting something again?¡± ¡°Sshhh. Just kiss me. She lifts herself up on her toes, and my face goes down to hers. I kiss her. The kiss speaks. It begs. It wants; it wants more than I am willing to give. Her fingers grip my hair, pulling me closer. My veins throb, and my heart explodes. I have never wanted anyone as much as I want her. She ys with the stubble on my face. Her touch feels warm and soft. My hands are everywhere; I want her closer and closer. I want to breathe her, taste her, touch her; I want her to consume my senses. ¡°Do you want to go to bed,¡± I ask quite nervously, for I have no idea what I am going to do now? ¡°I think it¡¯s something past midnight.¡± ¡°I got some sweats from my husband that should fit you.¡± ¡°How can I say no to that?¡± ¡°Hahaha, okay, that sounds bad unless you want to wear mine.¡± ¡°As much as I am tempted to slip on your pink sweats, I am sadly going to have to pass.¡± This could just work. She disappears off to the guest room andes back with a pair of grey sweats. I quickly head off to the bathroom while she goes into her bedroom. ¡°Are you scared to change in front of me, soldier?¡± ¡°Can¡¯t let you feel and see it all on one day now, can I.¡± ¡°What? You telling me I have to work for it?¡± ¡°Boo, this is all yours if you want it; you ain¡¯t going to work for anything.¡± I slowly walk up to her and pull her closer and wrap her in my arms. With her in my embrace, it is as if the world has stopped still. There is no time. My mind is at peace. How could it be that I had not noticed this before? She is pure, unselfish, and undemanding. This is what I have waited for. A woman like this is to be cherished for life. Finally, I feel like I am at home ¡°Boo.¡± ¡°Yes, my soldier?¡± ¡°There is something we need to talk about.¡± ¡°Fuck, am I pregnant?¡± ¡°Hahaha, I somehow think that would be far better news than this.¡± ¡°What is the matter then?¡± ¡°Would you like me if I was any less of a man than you think I am?¡± ¡°How can you possibly be any less of a man?¡± ¡°Just humor me. What if I am not all than what I seem to be?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t understand you, soldier?¡± ¡°What if my body does not work all the ways it should be?¡± ¡°Trust me; your body works perfectly fine.¡± ¡°Hahaha, trust you to see the silver lining to something you don¡¯t even know about yet.¡± ¡°Soldier, I know where you came from; I know that your mind might be a bit broken, and that does all.¡± I can¡¯t do this. My mind is thest thing she needs to worry about, but then again, the nightmares show that maybe that is also not quite all there as well. ¡°Do you get nightmares at night?¡± she asks me as I can see the clear concern in her eyes. ¡°Whenever I close my eyes, it¡¯s the same thing over and over again.¡± ¡°Mark also used to have those; he used to scream himself awake at night. He used to go sleep in the guest room so that he wouldn¡¯t wake me up.¡± ¡°Boo, what happened to him?¡± ¡°Their Humvee he was traveling in hit a mine, he was blown to shit. They sent what was left of him home in a body bag just big enough for a child.¡± ¡°God, Ana, I am so sorry.¡± I wrap my arms around her and stroke her long brown hair. She buries her face into the crook of my neck, and we stand like this for a while, she cries, and my heart aches for her. I don¡¯t want her to hurt. It feels as if when she is in my arms, all her pain will go away. If we could only stay in each other¡¯s arms forever, we would be safe from the world. ¡°Come boo, let¡¯s go to bed.¡± Iy down next to her on the bed,ying on my right-hand side, keeping my leg away from her. I fall asleep with her wrapped close to me. For some reason, tonight, with her in my arms, my sleep is not riddled with nightmares. Morninges too soon. When I open my eyes, she is not next to me. I get up to go find her, but I am rocked to my core with incredible pain. ¡°AAHHH FUCK!¡± Shees rushing into the room. ¡°Are you okay, soldier?¡± ¡°Yes, I think I must have hurt my back sleeping funny.¡± ¡°Shit, I don¡¯t even have painkillers.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine, boo; I will get some from home.¡± I try to get up, but the pain shoots straight through my stump. ¡°FUCK!¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Please tell me what I can do? What must I do?¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine, boo; I just need to get home.¡± I try standing up again. ¡°GODDAMMIT!¡± ¡°Must I phone Matt?¡± ¡°Please, boo, ask him to bring the car.¡± She rushes to go find my phone. I muster all my strength and bite on my lip as I walk the way to the lounge. ¡°FUCK!¡± ¡°He is on his way soldier, just hang in there.¡± ¡°Pleasee here, boo.¡± She moves closer to me. ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°For what soldier?¡± ¡°For being you.¡± I gently lean in and give her a kiss on her warm, soft lips. It is slow, soft, andforting. My hand rests below her ear; my thumb caresses her cheek as our breaths mingle. She runs her fingers down my spine, pulling me closer until there is no space left between us, and I can feel the beating of her heart against my chest. Then there is a knock on the door. ¡°Come in, Matt¡± Mattes into the lounge ¡°Bro, what is wrong?¡± ¡°I messed up my back; I need to get my pills.¡± He knows full well that I am lying. But he helps me up and walks me to the car. I give Ana a kiss before getting in. ¡°I will speak to youter, boo.¡± ¡°Please rest soldier, I will speak to you soon.¡± With that, Matt pulls off and heads home. ¡°I take you did not tell her?¡± Matt asks with both concern and sadness in his eyes. ¡°Matty, please do not grind my ass now; I just need to get home.¡± ¡°Bro, I am just worried about you; what happened?¡± ¡°I wasying on it the whole night. The pressure must have restricted my blood flow, so it has swollen now, and the damn friction has to cause fucking blisters.¡± ¡°I see; you fucked yourself up because you were too proud to tell the girl you were in love with.¡± ¡°What did I say about grinding my ass?¡± ¡°Well, the old man is on his own mission; I just hope he does not start his shit with you because you never went homest night.¡± ¡°Fuck I forgot to send mom a message; she is going to kill me.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I did. I knew you would be too busy scoring. I hope you damn well did, especially after fucking yourself up like this.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t stress, man, that one was easier to get past than the sleeping bit.¡± ¡°Damn dog.¡± ¡°And no, you are not getting any details.¡± ¡°Bro, I don¡¯t even think yousted a minute.¡± ¡°Your ass, I at least made it to five.¡± ¡°Hahaha, it is still something I won¡¯t brag about.¡± Wee to a stop in the driveway at home. I brace myself for the shit that is about to go down. ¡°Do you want me to help you?¡± Matt asks as he climbs out of the car. ¡°Nah, I think I will manage.¡± I get to climb out of the car. ¡°AAHHH F¨¹CK!¡± ¡°Bro, let me help you.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine; I am taking it off.¡± I pull up my denim as far up as I can and take my buddy off. I can see the horror on Matt¡¯s face as he watches me do it. His expression is nk, and his mouth is almost gaping.¡± ¡°Can you help me now? I don¡¯t think I have the strength to hop it on my own.¡± He stands there wordless, just staring at my leg. ¡°Matt!¡± He does not move. ¡°Matt! It¡¯s just a damn leg. Please help me.¡± ¡°Sorry, bro, that shit is sick.¡± ¡°Hahaha, what is going to be sick is if I smack you against your ass. Please help me before the old manes.¡± But it¡¯s toote; momes rushing out the door. ¡°Ethan, baby, are you okay? Matt said you got hurt.¡± ¡°Nice going, Matt,¡± I re over to where Matt is standing next to me. ¡°For someone that lies to a woman all day long, you are sure a bad liar when ites to mom.¡± ¡°Ethan, what can I do?¡± my mom asks, concerned for she has no idea what to do. ¡°Tell me what you need?¡± ¡°Mom, let Matty just get me inside first.¡± And then all hell breaks loose. My dades storming outside in full force. ¡°What is themotion outside here for? You boys don¡¯te home; then youe to throw up noise so early in the morning.¡± ¡°Oh, John just keeps quiet,¡± my mom snaps at him. ¡°Ethan is hurt; just keep your judgemental assments to yourself.¡± ¡°What are you on again about Mary?¡± My fatheres around to where Matt is helping me out the car. ¡°WHAT THE FUCK! Ipletely ignore him as he speaks. ¡°Matt, mom, please just help me up.¡± ¡°Ethan, what happened to you?¡± he carries on. ¡°FUCK I told you not to go to that ce. What happened to you?¡± ¡°Dad, please, not now,¡± I beg as another sharp pain stings through my leg. ¡°Don¡¯t not now me,¡± hepletely ignores my plea. ¡°What the fuck happened to you. Why don¡¯t I know about this? Why does everyone else know, and I don¡¯t? What the fuck is going on here?¡± ¡°Dad, can we please talk after I have looked at my leg.¡± ¡°NO! We are talking now! When did this happen? I told you so many times not to go, and you did not want to listen; look now what has happened.¡± ¡°John, shut the fuck up and get out our way! NOW!¡± ¡°But Mary, look at the child,¡± ¡°Yes, John, look at the child, he is your son, and right now, he needs to look at his leg and not listen to your shit. Now get out the way. Now!¡± Matt and mom take me to my room, and I sit down on the bed. ¡°What do I need to do, Ethan?¡± my mom asks as they sit me down on my bed. ¡°Mom, just bring me some warm water and soap. I got some gauze and bandage in that bag.¡± ¡°Where are your painkillers, bro?¡± Matt asks. ¡°In the bathroom, thanks.¡± ¡°Do you want water with that?¡± my dad surprisingly asks ¡°Yes, please, dad.¡± Everyone goes their way to grab whatever it is that I need. If I did not insist on keeping it from my boo, I would not be sitting here in pain, but hey, at least my dad knows now. Chapter 9 Not Man Enough I have been out for nearly two days. I got an infection in the sores on my stump, and the painkillers the doctor prescribed for the agonizing pain has had me knocked out sleeping most of the time. I have not spoken to Ana in these two days at all. I am sure she must be worried sick. I look for my phone on the side table, but it is not there at all. I try to get up, but my body is too weak. ¡°MATT!¡± Mattes rushing into my room, ¡°Bro, are you okay? What is the matter? Do you need anything?¡± ¡°Where is my phone? I need to speak to Ana.¡± ¡°It¡¯s in the lounge, but bro, there is a problem.¡± ¡°What? Did she call? Did she tell me to leave her alone?¡± ¡°No, bro, no, nothing like that. The thing is, she was very worried about you.¡± ¡°Matt, what did you do?¡± ¡°Your phone was ringing the whole time, and she was worried because you did not answer.¡± ¡°Matt, what is going on? What is happening with Ana?¡± ¡°Bro, she is in the kitchen with mom. She has been here since early this morning.¡± ¡°What. Fuck! Does she know?¡± ¡°No, we just told her that you had hurt pretty badly and that the doc said you must stay in bed.¡± ¡°I guess there is no running from it now. Has she seen meying like this in bed?¡± ¡°No, she said she will wait for you to wake up. Must I call her for you?¡± ¡°Just help me up and give me that thick nket so I can cover myself up.¡± Matt helps me to sit up straight and put the nket over my leg, ¡°Here you go. I will go call her now.¡± He leaves to go fetch Ana. It feels like my whole world is crashing down around me into pieces. I can hardly breathe, my body is shaking, and my mouth has gone dry. It feels like the pain in my stump is shooting straight to my heart. Then there is a knock on my door. ¡°Come in.¡± I can barely utter the words as I try to speak. She peaks her beautiful face around the door, ¡°Hey, my soldier boy.¡± ¡°Hey, gorgeous boo.¡± ¡°You mind if Ie to sit with you a bit?¡± ¡°I would mind if you don¡¯te here and give me a kiss.¡± ¡°She moves slowly on over to my bed and gently sits down next to me, ¡°I missed you, do you know that?¡± ¡°Sorry, I think I did kind of go all AWOL there.¡± ¡°It is fine, your mom told me that you have been out for a bit, but I am d that you are back.¡± ¡°Boo, you don¡¯t know how happy I am to see you here.¡± I wrap my arms around her shoulders and pulled her close. Despite the heaviness in my stomach, it flutters at the feeling of her body pressed against mine. Her touch makes everything better somehow. My lips seek hers, and they lock in a passionate kiss. She tastes like vani and has a slight hint of honey. I lose myself into her, the kiss turning into a deep desire and a burning hunger. I slowly pull away and rest my head against her forehead. ¡°Fuck boo, you have no idea how much I want you, but there is something we need to talk about.¡± ¡°What¡¯s wrong, soldier? Are you about to break this girl¡¯s heart?¡± ¡°Boo, I have a better chance of having my heartbroken.¡± ¡°I will never break your heart; I am too in love with your sweet ass.¡± ¡°God, Ana, you making it hard on this man.¡± ¡°Come soldier, just tell me, we can get through it; it can¡¯t be that bad.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know the best way how to tell you this; I am just going to have to show or let you feel it for yourself.¡± ¡°Mmm, show or feel? This sounds interesting, soldier. I will go for feel; I am an all hands-on girl.¡± ¡°Can I just say one thing, boo, that no matter what happens from here on, I have fallen just as hard in love with you? And I am sorry for lying and not letting you know sooner.¡± Before she can speak, I gently take her hand in mine, slowly moving the nkets away just a slight bit; I slip our hands underneath it. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, but not for long. Gently cing her hand at the top of my leg at my groin, I slowly start moving us down, watching her face with every inch we crawl. Just one more slight stretch¡­ ¡°Soldier, what are you doing?¡± ¡°Boo, ssshhh, just one more second.¡± Then¡­ We are at the edge, and I stop. Confusion sets in her face; I slowly run her fingers over the bottom of my stump. Her face lights up¡­ ¡°Boo¡­?¡± It turns from confusion to horror¡­ ¡°Boo¡­?¡± She holds her hand there; she does not move. I see her close her eyes, and a tear roll down her cheek. ¡°Boo¡­?¡± She looks at me and slowly moves the nkets down my leg, revealing my entire eighteen-inch stump. There is terror and fear mixed on her now pale face; her hand is slightly trembling as she pulls the nket back up to my waist, but she keeps her one hand firmly in ce on my leg. ¡°Boo, please say something.¡± Then she speaks, ¡°What happened, soldier?¡± There is a pain in her eyes, and I just know that I have just lost this girl. ¡°Boo¡­¡± I continue slowly and tell the same story I have told so many times over for this past week.Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org. ¡°Sort of like Mark, but you just got home in one piece, well less a leg but still alive.¡± ¡°Boo, I am so sorry.¡± ¡°No soldier, I am sorry. How did I not feel this the other night?¡± ¡°Cause I got good at hiding things.¡± ¡°Yes, and now you are stuck in bed because you wanted to hide it from a girl, this girl. Soldier, I am not worth all that pain.¡± ¡°But boo, you are; I have never been so happy in my life than I was with you for this past week.¡± ¡°Soldier, you hardly know me; why would you want to cause yourself so much pain for a few days of happiness?¡± ¡°Look in the mirror, Ana, and you will find the answer.¡± We sit in silence as the tears roll down our cheeks. This is so not how I imagined the day would be when I would tell the woman that I wanted to be my soulmate that I am in love with her. As hard as this is killing me, I need to let her go. ¡°Boo, you don¡¯t have to stay here; you can go.¡± ¡°Are you sure, soldier?¡± ¡°Yes, boo, I think I am going to sleep.¡± I feel as she slowly slips her hand off my leg and gently ces a kiss on my cheek. I look deep into her watery eyes, and I just know that this is thest time I will be looking into them. ¡°Get rest soldier, I will speak to youter.¡± ¡°Boo¡­?¡± I stop her before she can walk off. ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°For what soldier? ¡°Thank you for making this broken man happy.¡± ¡°Soldier, I will see you when you are feeling better.¡± With that, she is out the door and out of my life; I know that I won¡¯t be seeing her when I am better, I don¡¯t know if it is because I kept it from her or if I am a painful memory of what happened to her husband, I just know that I will never see her again. I spent much of the rest of the day falling in and out of sleep, no nightmares of losing my leg haunting me but definite ones reminding me of what just walked out of my life. The next morning I am wide awake early, strong enough to move around. I grab onto my new crutches as I hop on out of bed and make my way to the kitchen. For once, a very rare once, my father and Matt are not having a go at each other.¡± ¡°Morning, son,¡± my father greets me with which sounds a heavy heart. ¡°Hey, dad¡± ¡°Did you sleep, okay, bro?¡± Matt looks at me with a sad face. ¡°Why, did the yelling keep you up again?¡± ¡°Nah, you were actually very quiet,¡± Matt says. I see a look of tenderness in my father¡¯s eyes as he reaches out to me, ¡°Sit, let me grab you a coffee.¡± I signal for Matt to leave my father and me alone. ¡°Listen, dad¡­¡± ¡°Ethan,¡± he immediately stops me from carrying on. ¡°I understand; you don¡¯t have to apologize. I have been an asshole to both of you boys. You followed your dream and made your country proud, and here I am bitching because you never became a doctor. I am proud of you, son.¡± My dad pulls me into a big old man hug, and I can feel his body shake as the tears stream from his eyes. ¡°Thank you, dad.¡± We both wipe our faces and sit back in our chairs. ¡°So, where is this medal of yours?¡± ¡°Hahaha. I was waiting for that one.¡± I hop off my chair to go back to my room and fetch it for him. I pause for a brief second and look at my phone. There are no messages from Ana. I sort of knew there wouldn¡¯t, but still, there was that little boy in me that is besotted in love that hopes there would. Would things have been different if I told her from the start? Well, I learned very early on that you should not dwell on the ifs in life. I make my way back where mom and Chloe have joined dad and Matt in the kitchen. ¡°Hey, my son, are you feeling better today?¡± ¡°Much better, mom; thanks for looking after my stupid grown ass.¡± Chloe looks a bit confused around, but when she finally feels confident, she asks, ¡°Can I be the only one that is going to point the obvious?¡± ¡°Yes, babe,¡± Matt smiles and winks at her. ¡°We know he is missing half a leg.¡± ¡°Hahaha. It¡¯s more like two-thirds man.¡± I jokingly y along with them. ¡°Well,¡± Chloe says. ¡°I kind of think you look hot for a broken soldier and all.¡± Everyone burst outughing, but the tears were stinging in my eyes. Mom can see, but she does not say a word. She moves around the counter andes to rest her hand on my shoulder. ¡°Ethan, she wille around; just give her some time.¡± ¡°Mom, I don¡¯t think I can bear being away from her for all that time. I have learned to know the fear and look in people¡¯s eyes, and I don¡¯t think her fear will bring her back to me.¡± Mom pulls my head close to her chest like she always used to do when we were young boys. Her hugs used to be so infinite. In her arms, I am safe, and my worries disappear. In her embrace, I am cocooned better than any butterfly-to-be. I feel her soft skin; I feel her warmth and the smell of freshlyundered clothes. No matter what, mom¡¯s hugs always used to take my pain away, and they do still. Chapter 10 The Gossip Mill In a perfect world, hearts heal, and people move on; well, I say that is nonsense. How do you heal if you can¡¯t move on because you are still waiting for the impossible to happen, waiting for the one that broke your heart toe back and make it whole again cause the thing is, you cannot move on if they are not next to you moving on together. Yesterday was torture; today is agony. She has not phoned or even messaged me. I don¡¯t know if she is waiting for me or if I must wait for her. This unwritten book of love is just a messed-up bundle of confusion. I am sitting with Matt and Chloe outside around the pool area. Matt has taken it upon himself to see me get through this; I feelpletely useless and vulnerable. ¡°Hey, bro, grab a beer and get some sun on those skinny bones.¡± ¡°Man, I don¡¯t know how brown I want this buddy of mine.¡± He bursts outughing as I adjust my prosthetic leg andy back on the deck chair. Matt goes to fiddle with the fire for the BBQ, and Chloees to sit next to me. ¡°You know Ethan, that girl is just missing out; I mean, look at you, you are goddamn hot.¡± ¡°Hahaha. Thanks, Chloe, just don¡¯t let Matt hear you say that; he thinks he is the sexier brother between us.¡± ¡°You might not feel it now, but it will get better. Have you heard anything from her?¡± ¡°Not a single chirp.¡± ¡°Have you tried speaking to her?¡± ¡°Fuck no, I am too damn scared.¡± ¡°Send her a message; if she does not respond, then fine, and if she does even better but at least show her that you have tried.¡± ¡°What even do I say to her?¡± ¡°Just say hi.¡± Just then, Mattes sneaking up behind us, pping me behind the head. ¡°Hey bro, you chatting up my girl now; I know she said you kind of looked hot and all.¡± ¡°Hahaha, you know I don¡¯t like blondes, Matty boy.¡± Chloe smacks me on the arm and goes back to sit with Matt on the other side of the pool. I pull my phone from the table and flip until I find Ana¡¯s number. ¡°Hey boo, I have not heard in a while; I just wanted to say hi and that I am thinking of you.¡± I wait¡­ And wait¡­ Nothing¡­ Chloe looks over and smiles at me. I wait¡­ And wait¡­ Nothing¡­ I shake my head at Chloe. After another few minutes, I put it back on the table. My heart drops right back into my shoes, I don¡¯t know what I was thinking, but whatever it was, it is not happening. Mom and dad have gone into town for a show and dinner, so we three pretty much have the ce to ourselves. Matty gets the beer as I go inside to crank up the music, and by cracking, I mean pretty shit damn loud. Soon the beer is flowing, and I find myself out my leg and into the pool. The cool water is not doing much for the heat I feel under my skin. You know how it goes; get a few beers under the cor, and you are soon hotter there than the fire. My mind is achingly thinking about my boo and how amazing it felt to have myself hard and deep in her that cool crisp night out on that table. The night soon drags to near early morning; the sight of Chloe and Matty so in love drives me to go seek thefort of my bed, but before I close my eyes to get much-deserved rest, I foolishly take my phone and send Ana a message. ¡°My boo, I miss you.¡± And with that, I slowly drift off to sleep, but I am soon riddled by nightmares¡­ ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.. ¡°Sir,¡± I hear a familiar voice calls for me. ¡°Are you okay, sir? Sir?¡± I slowly open my eyes one by one. I am staring up at a white ceiling; why am I not waking up in a tent? As I look to my side, there is a window from with the sun shines fairly bright. ¡°Soldier, where am?¡± ¡°You in the hospital, sir.¡± I do not recall me being sick at all; why will I be in a hospital? I look at the soldier with clear confusion written all over my face. ¡°What happened?¡± I try to move and sit up as I am waiting for the soldier, who is hesitating somewhat to answer. ¡°Sir, you were in an ident.¡± ¡°Am I all right? Is everything all right?¡± I am struggling to get myself to sit up; they must have given me something that is making my body feel so limp. ¡°Sir¡­¡± I struggle and struggle, but I can¡¯t seem to get myself up; I am trying to move my legs, but they are just not moving, ¡°Soldier, what happened?¡± ¡°Sir¡­¡± I am now starting to panic as I cannot move at all. There is fear that is creeping into every crack of bone in my body. My temper is now starting to ir because the soldier is not answering. ¡°Soldier!¡± ¡°Sir¡­¡± I go to feel my leg¡­where is my leg¡­I can¡¯t feel my leg¡­where is my leg. I blow up in a total fit of rage. ¡°Soldier, what the fuck happened to my leg?¡± The soldier looks at me, looking very much defeated. The next six words he says to me will haunt me forever. ¡°Sir, they could not save it.¡± ¡°What the fuck do you mean they could not save it? Where is my leg?¡± I am frantically feeling around; an agonizing pain shoots through my body, tears start to roll down my heated cheeks. ¡°I want fucking answers, soldier! What have they done to my leg?¡± ¡°Sir, I will go call the doctor.¡± I take the water bottle that is standing on the cab next to me and smash it into pieces on the opposite wall. ¡°I don¡¯t want a fucking doctor. I want my leg!¡± I fall helplessly down on the bed and pass out from the agonizing pain that is now shooting through my body. ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.. Next thing I feel, someone is someone shaking me furiously. ¡°Ethan, bro, wake up; it is just a nightmare, bro, wake up.¡± ¡°Fuck Matty, was I having nightmares again?¡± ¡°Yes, bro, are you okay?¡± ¡°Yes, I am fine now.¡± ¡°Can I grab you something from the kitchen?¡± ¡°Nah, I will be up in a second.¡± That tiny part of me that still believes in hope reaches for my phone only to be pped with disappointment. There are no messages from Ana; in fact, she has not even read thest drunken one I sent.Property of N?)(velDr(a)ma.Org. I get up to have a shower; I don¡¯t know if my head is spinning from my hangover or from the fact that I cried myself to sleepst night. I need to get a grip; I can¡¯t do this for another day in a row. Once I am dressed, I head over to the kitchen, where I find my mom already making coffee. ¡°Where are you two boys going today?¡± Chloe eagerly jumps in to answer. ¡°They are taking me for breakfast.¡± ¡°You quite the lucky girl, two of the three Hunter boys by your side. You are definitely going to have old Maggie talking.¡± I only but grunt at my mom, for Maggie is thest person I feel like seeing today. ¡°Just as long as the old bag does not go all crazy and take photos of us.¡± ¡°Talking about photos, Ethan, did you phone that reporter back?¡± ¡°Not yet, mom; I don¡¯t know if I want to do the story.¡± Just as I finish my sentence, my dad enters the kitchen, and as he usually does, he has something to say again. ¡°Son, you did your country proud; I don¡¯t see the harm in doing it.¡± ¡°Dad, you just want your name and face in the magazine.¡± ¡°Son with Maggie here, I am always in the paper and her stupid blog with you two boys.¡± I see that mom is looking me up and down; I know exactly what she is thinking and what she is about to ask. ¡°Ethan, are you going to be okay going out in shorts?¡± ¡°Yes, mom, I am tired of hiding. If people around me can¡¯t get used to it, then I might as well.¡± She smiles and pulls me into one of her special mom hugs. I snuggle in, and she squeezes a fraction tighter. ¡°Love you, mom.¡± ¡°Love you too, my boy, now you bunch go have some fun. I am sure I will get an update as soon as you hit the town.¡± And with that, we are out the door. I am taking a big risk today,ying myself out bare for the world to see the way I see it; my body is already broken, and so is my heart; there is no way that anybody can break me even more. As we start making our way down the main road, I can feel people starting to stare, I can hear the whispers behind their covering hands, I feel a slight sting in my eye, but I swallow hard, and I lift my head with a smile. ¡°Bro, you okay there?¡± Matty looks at me, concerned as he softly whispers into my ear. ¡°The town is buzzing, and we have not even hit Maggie yet.¡± ¡°Yes, Matty, let¡¯s just go.¡± Chloe hooks her arm into mine, and we carry walking down the road of shame; well, at least that is what it feels like, cause god to forbid a soldieres back from deployment injured, let alonee back half a man. As we pass the flower shop, Maggiees outside, stopping us dead in our tracks. ¡°Helloooo, boys. How are the Hunter boys doing today?¡± Matt shoots her a look that could kill even the kindest soul¡¯ ¡°Hello Maggie, we are doing just fabulous, thank you, and how are you this lovely morning?¡± ¡°You know how it is. This old back is starting to act up again, and the arthritis is killing me.¡± And she wastes absolutely no time at all. ¡°I see you back in town, Ethan, my boy. How was the army?¡± ¡°Maggie, it was the Marines, and thank you, it was amazing, the best time of my life.¡± But wait, she finally gets to the question that is burning her the most. ¡°Shame did you get hurt down there, my boy?¡± ¡°No shit Maggie,¡± Matt blurts out, and I can hardly contain myughter. ¡°It is in damn obvious.¡± ¡°Watch your mouth with me, young man; you don¡¯t want me to tell your mom how nasty you talk.¡± ¡°Maggie, you going to tell her in any way as soon as we leave.¡± ¡°This one, I always used to like you more Ethan, your brother was and is still a naughty shit. A bloody thorn in my side some days.¡± ¡°Maggie, I will remember that when you mess yourputer up again.¡± ¡°Oh, keep quiet you. Now tell Aunty Maggie what happened to your leg, my boy. It looks like it can be very sore.¡± I can see the fury burn up in Matt¡¯s eyes as he takes in herment. ¡°Yes, Maggie, it hurts like shit. And Ethan does not go around and ask you what happened to your face like that.¡± ¡°Young man, if this nice youngdy is not going to p you, then I will. I was asking Ethan a question, not you.¡± I immediately jump in before this conversation gets out of hand. ¡°Maggie, it is a long story and one that I am not going to tell now.¡± ¡°You know what we must do?¡± ¡°No, Maggie, but I am sure you are going to tell me.¡± ¡°We must do an article for the town newspaper. Then you can tell everyone about the war and what happened to your leg.¡± ¡°Maggie, I did not go to the war; it was a peace mission. Some very bad men nted a bomb, and a lot of people almost got hurt.¡± ¡°Shame, my boy, did other people also lose their legs?¡± She is truly now beginning to work on my nerves. ¡°Maggie, no! See, this is why you the town gossip cause you don¡¯t listen.¡± ¡°Then do the article, my boy, then everyone will have the right story.¡± ¡°Okay, Maggie, I will. Phone my mom when you are ready. We have got to go; we are taking this youngdy for breakfast.¡± ¡°That other prettydy is also having breakfast in there today.¡± This immediately piques my interest. ¡°Which prettydy Maggie?¡± ¡°The pretty one that you kissed there by that tree.¡± Matt, who is now highly strung up, shows me that we should leave. ¡°Thanks, Maggie; we will make sure to say hello.¡± ¡°You boys have fun. Ethan, I will let your mom know when I cane around.¡± ¡°Okay, Maggie.¡± All of us, highly frustrated, make our way across the road to the coffee shop. Could she possibly have spoken about Ana, but why would Anae and have breakfast on her own? She hates being around strangers, especially around these older women that have not much to do other than gossip the whole day. It can¡¯t be here; the old bag is getting blind and crazy in her old day. Matt flings the door open, and we step in; it is not the stares that hit me the most; what hits me the most is seeing Ana. If there was a smile on my face, then it was gone in seconds, for Ana is not alone. No. Across from my boo is sitting another man, a man holding the hand that I am supposed to. Chapter 11 Betrayal Cuts Deep To say that I am not disappointed is an understatement. I got my hopes up for something that was never going to happen. I created my own heartache by expecting too much. It hurts to feel that the person that made me feel so special just a few days ago does not want me today. What do I do? Do I ignore her and just walk on past or am I the better man and greet her while she is sitting with another man? Why does it feel like my heart has been ripped into pieces? Not just ripped but trampled into the dirt. Just to prove my point that shit definitely ain¡¯t going my way, we need to pass their table to get to the only other table avable. My heart feels that it is just about to grow rock hard and crumble into pieces. My hands are slightly trembling, and I just know that I am going to stutter when I do finally speak. ¡°M¡­ M¡­ Morning Ana.¡± ¡°Good morning Ethan.¡± What happened to soldier? Why am I Ethan now? Why is she pushing herself away from me like this? I do not understand what I did wrong; apart from not having a damn leg, what is it that I did for her to be like this to me? But I put my best fake smile on as she introduces me to this man sitting with her. ¡°Ethan, this is Paul.¡± ¡°Nice to meet you, Paul.¡± Not really, but I can¡¯t go and be a jerk to the poor man. I mean, it is Ana¡¯s choice, and who am I to be an asshole about it? I don¡¯t like it; in fact, I can¡¯t near stand seeing her with another man when she is supposed to be with me.¡± ¡°Likewise,¡± he ims, but the annoyed look on his face tells me differently. ¡°Ana told me you were in the Corps as well.¡± ¡°Yes, I got back a little over a week ago. As you can see not by my n.¡± ¡°Wish Mark had the same Luck as you.¡± ¡°Paul is Mark¡¯s brother,¡± Ana exins. ¡°He is in town for a couple of days.¡± I watch as he still lovingly holds her hand. ¡°Came to check if the girl is okay. She just all upped and left one day. Real damn stubborn ass.¡± ¡°Hahaha, that sounds about right,¡± now, if my smile was not fake earlier, myughter definitely is now. ¡°The town folk is not far off calling her Miss Stubborn.¡± ¡°Why she came running down here, I don¡¯t know, but she says that you have been looking out for her. Thanks for doing that; at least she got someone good around.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t know how much good I am to her, but yes, you can see I am around.¡± Am I feeling a slight bit better now that I know it is Mark¡¯s brother? Well, yes, but it still does not mean they can¡¯t have something going on? I must stop overthinking this shit; I am just getting myself hurt. What we had was obviously just a once-off thing; I read too much into it. ¡°Well, it was nice meeting you, Paul, and good to see you again Ana, if I don¡¯t leave now, Matt is going to throw me with that fork he is about to bash through the table.¡± ¡°It was nice to see you again, Ethan,¡± Ana smiles, but I am not sure if hers is just as fake as mine. ¡°I turn around and leave for our table. Matt is eagerly sitting and waiting for me toe to dish the dirt. ¡°So what is up with that, bro?¡± ¡°It is herte husband¡¯s brother.¡± ¡°Do you think they got anything going on?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know; what do you think, Chloe?¡± ¡°Nah,¡± Chloe shakes her head. ¡°I don¡¯t think so, I know they were holding hands and all that, but she is not giving that vibe that they are doing the nasty together.¡± ¡°Hahaha,¡± Iugh out of relief as I nce over to their table. ¡°Thank you; I just needed to hear that; what the fuck is doing the nasty in any way?¡± ¡°Bro, seriously,¡± Matt looks at me strangely. ¡°You so need to getid more. Maybe we should hook you up with one of the other girls in town. I know of just the right ones.¡± ¡°I will give that one a definite miss; we don¡¯t need another yboy in town. And seriously, man, do you think I want what you have plowed through.¡± ¡°Bro, can you even think of the amounts of girls you are going to get hooked after Maggie has put your pretty-boy face in the paper. Everyone loves a hero.¡± ¡°Ya, maybe I should walk around in my uniform as well. It ain¡¯t going to happen. My stupid ass falls in love with the first girl he saw, and look what that got me.¡± ¡°Come on, don¡¯t let one old let down ruin you for the rest. It¡¯s lonely being lonely.¡± ¡°Do you even listen to all the crap thates out of your mouth?¡± ¡°Hahaha,¡± Matt¡¯sughter echoes through the coffee shop. ¡°I don¡¯t need to; some girl will eventually repeat it right just before they p me in the face.¡± ¡°And Chloe, you put up with this boy?¡± ¡°I will call it more like tolerate,¡± she answers me with a little cheeky smile on her face. He has his other good uses.¡± I keep finding myself staring over at Ana. She looks stunning in her tight ck pants that fit her body like a glove. It only but entuates every curve of her hips and tiny waist. The heat I feel just looking at her is nothingpared to the heat from the coffee I am sipping. God, how I miss that woman; she drives a spell over my body as no woman has ever done before. Can what we have been so wrong? It felt so real to me, so good like it was meant to be. Should I stick my pride in my sock and fight for her? The question is, how far am I willing to go. If she is with this man, is it right of me to impose? The thing is that I cannot find myself getting over her; I mean, in the end, she will have to choose; I should at least show her that I am interested. I take my phone from my pocket and message her. ¡°You look breath-taking. I miss you.¡± I watch her as she checks her phone and smiles, but she does not respond. So it is another knock on my heart, but as I said, I should show her that I am still interested. The next thing I feel is Matt pping me against the head. ¡°Bro, what are you up to?¡± ¡°Me? Nothing.¡± ¡°Ya right, that just gave it all away. Is your sorry stupid ass messaging a woman while she is sitting with another guy?¡± ¡°Me, never, that is just asking for a beating.¡± ¡°And the reason she is smiling is because that buff dry dumbo is today¡¯s stand-up act.¡± ¡°Hahaha. You better hope you can run fast cause I ain¡¯t helping you when he moles your face for calling a dumbo.¡± We are interrupted by Chloe giggling. ¡°Girl, what did you do?¡± Matt asks. She hands me my phone, ¡°You got to be shitting me. Did you send this? Do you really want that dude toe to break my other leg?¡± ¡°Hahaha, just go!¡± Chloeughs, satisfied with what she has done. ¡°There, she is going, go now!¡± Much to my absolute disgust in Chloe¡¯s little stunt, I get up and make my way to the restroom. As expected, I find Ana standing there with a huge smile on her face.¡± ¡°Hey, sorry about that,¡± I start to apologize to Ana. ¡°Chloe got hold of my phone while I was arguing with Matt.¡± ¡°Well, I am here now, so is there something you did want to tell me by any chance?¡± she asks. ¡°I am so not good with this, me and talking about my feelings do not sit in the same sentence. What do you do when you can¡¯t talk? You act.¡± I pull her into one of the avable cubicles. ¡°What are you doing, soldier?¡± ¡°Ah, now I am soldier again?¡± ¡°I can¡¯t call you soldier in front of my dead husband¡¯s brother.¡± ¡°And why not?¡± ¡°Good point, I actually don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Are you with this guy?¡± ¡°Define with? Because I am with him at the coffee shop, now if you are referring to the other with, well that is a hell no. I can barely stand the man; he just bloody rocked up out of nowhere.¡± ¡°So then he ain¡¯t going to mind if I do this?¡± ¡°What is¡­?¡± I push her slowly back into the door; my hands move to her hips; I wrap them around her waist and pull her into me. ¡°Soldier!¡± ¡°Ssshhh, they going to know you in here with me. Do you really want Maggie to put this little scandal into the gossip column?¡± I lean in and hover my mouth over hers for a second. Our lips move closer, and they touch. My tongue reaches out, sliding over her lips and pushing through the seams. It searches her mouth, exploring and teasing her tongue; the first touch sends a shiver straight between my legs. I pull her tighter into me and kiss her harder; she begins to whimper. The sound of her moan and the whisper of my name is driving me wild. ¡°Mmmm, soldier.¡± I catch her legs in my hands and wrap them around my waist. She gasps. ¡°Oh, god, soldier!¡± ¡°Ssshhh boo.¡±Property of N?)(velDr(a)ma.Org. I take her mouth by force, consuming it, taking it for my own. The kiss is passionate, her mouth intoxicating, our tongues moving in perfect strokes. Our eyes gradually meet; I lower my head and begin biting and kissing down her neck. My mouth roams at will, no longer gentle as I devour her, ravenous against the smooth curve of her throat, the soft flesh of her ear. ¡°Soldier, if you don¡¯t stop now, we both are going to be naked.¡± ¡°Will that be so wrong?¡± ¡°You sure want to start that scandal.¡± ¡°I am sure it has already started. We both have been away long enough from the table.¡± I drop her down to the floor. Every bit of me wants to take her, wants her hot naked skin against mine, but I can¡¯t have it, at least not now. ¡°Guess we have to make it out back there.¡± ¡°I guess so.¡± ¡°So I will see you again?¡± ¡°I will see you around, soldier.¡± She heads out back to her table and, once I have calmed my raging hard-on down, I join Matt and Chloe back at our table. ¡°Damn, bro, did you score in the bathroom over there?¡± Matt excitedly asks. ¡°Near but not near enough.¡± ¡°So?¡± Chloe joins in as she curiously asks. ¡°Are you two back together?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know; she told me that she will see me around.¡± ¡°That sucks,¡± Chloe says, somewhat defeated. ¡°I thought for sure that my n was going to work.¡± After being rejected for what seems to be yet another time, I try to focus my attention on Matt and Chloe. We have our breakfast, and soon we are ready to go. By the time we get going, she and Paul are still sitting at their table. Theirughter is somehow just annoying the shit out of me; I think I might just be a slight hint of jealousy. This time we just walk past without saying goodbye. I don¡¯t know what more should I do to show her that I still want her. Yes, I am not going to lie, I do want her sexually, but there is more to that; I just want to be with her. We managed to get home without bumping into Maggie again. Matt and Chloe go off to the lounge, and I go to my bedroom; my leg is sore; I want to take my buddy off and just rx. Soon I find myself drifting off to sleep. I am awakened by Matt muchter that evening. ¡°Bro, wake up,¡± ¡°Fuck Matt, can¡¯t a man sleep?¡± ¡°There is someone here to see you.¡± ¡°Who? If it is Maggie, then I am not in the mood for her.¡± ¡°No, bro it is that guy from the coffee shop.¡± ¡°What guy from the coffee shop?¡± ¡°The one that was with Ana.¡± ¡°What does the buff dry dumbo want?¡± Chapter 12 Served What You Deserve The big question is, what is Paul doing at my front door? Is he here about what happened in the bathroom at the coffee shop? Or is he here to tell me to stay away from Ana? Even maybe here to mole my face? Whichever, I guess I am soon going to find out. ¡°Paul did not quite expect to see you here. Is there something wrong with Ana?¡± ¡°No, she is all okay. I am here to speak to you.¡± ¡°Can I grab you a beer? Or coffee?¡± Or poison¡­ ¡°Beer would be great.¡± ¡°Just give me a sec.¡± I go to the kitchen to grab two beers out of the fridge. Matt and Chloe are sitting at the counter. ¡°Bro, do you need a hand to throw his face on the tar out there?¡± ¡°Matty, I am missing a leg, not a hand. This old soldier does still know how to smack a punch.¡± ¡°Fuck, do you think he is here about what happened in the bathroom?¡± ¡°If he is, then he is wasting his own time because it ain¡¯t any of his damn business.¡± ¡°You tell him, bro, just holler if you need help.¡± ¡°Seriously, man, holler?¡± I look at Matt in disbelief. ¡°To what do I look to you? The only thing you will be hearing is me kicking the door into his ass as he is leaving.¡± As I make my way back to the lounge, I can hear him talking on his phone. The curious part in me stands and listens to his conversation (Yes, I just left town) ¡­ (I will let you know when I get home) ¡­ (Thanks for a great weekend) ¡­ (Love you) ¡­ (Speak soon) ¡­ He drops his call, and I enter the lounge. I hand his beer and sit on the opposite side of the lounge, just far enough to be out of punching range. I do not trust this dude as far as I can smell him, and from where I am sitting, he smells damn nasty. ¡°So Paul, what can I do for you? It¡¯s kind of unusual to receive a visit from someone I do not know at all; I am guessing this has something to do with Ana?¡± ¡°If we are on the same page here, then I can cut straight through the crap.¡± ¡°I am taking this is going to be some friendly advice?¡± ¡°More like a friendly warning if you want to take it that way.¡± ¡°Well, first of all, I am not going to take it kindly if youe into my house and threaten me.¡± ¡°If you want to take it up as a threat, then that is purely up to you; I am just here out of concern for Ana.¡± ¡°Well, let¡¯s hear this concern, but I must give you a friendly warning too; I do not take orders from aplete nobody in my life.¡± ¡°Listen, Ethan; the girl just lost her husband and your situation.¡± ¡°Just stop it right there, my situation. I hope you are not referring to my amputation as a situation.¡± ¡°You know what I mean.¡± ¡°No, I don¡¯t Paul, you are going to have to spell it out for me. I think my amputation has made me a bit dim.¡± ¡°Visually, you do not do much for Ana¡¯s situation with Mark.¡± ¡°You mean Mark¡¯s death; everything seems to be a situation for you. Is your vocabry a bit limited?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think that was quite necessary, Ethan.¡± ¡°Well, what you are here for is not quite necessary either, so please get on with it; I and my amputation have better things to do.¡± ¡°I want you to leave Ana alone. You are making her grieving harder on her. The way you left the core is a painful reminder for her on how Mark died.¡± ¡°The way I left the Corps? Let me ask you this, what good has your judgmental shit face ever done in your life?¡± ¡°We are not here to talk about me.¡± ¡°Exactly as I thought, I left the Corps doing good, and I am damn sure Mark was doing the very same before he had his unfortunate ident.¡± ¡°I would appreciate it if you do not think you know my brother Ethan.¡± ¡°Well, I would appreciate it if you do note here and insult me and then try and tell me that I cannot see Ana. If she wants to see me, then she will see me; it is frankly none of your business.¡± ¡°I will make damn sure it does not happen.¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Paul, I think you will appreciate it if I say that you have overstayed your wee and that now is a good time for you to leave.¡± ¡°I am just warning you, Ethan, stay away from Ana.¡± ¡°And I am warning you to stay the fuck out of my business.¡± Just then, Mattes into the lounge; in the heat of the moment, I did not notice that we started quite a bigmotion. ¡°Dude, I think it is time for you to leave.¡± ¡°Matty, it¡¯s fine; the buff dumbo was just about to leave.¡± Before I even know what is happening around me, I feel a fist flying past my cheek. The stupid asshole misses, but I do not; I smash a fist full of knuckles straight into his jaw, making his face snap to the left. ¡°I really insist now that you leave unless if you want to spend the evening in the local jail.¡± ¡°I will even help you leave,¡± Matt adds. ¡°Fuck I will open your car door for you. Just get your ass out of this house.¡± Matt drags the buff dumbo out by his cor while Chloees running up to me. ¡°Ethan, are you okay? Did he hit you?¡± ¡°Nah, Chloe, the asshole missed. But I am okay; I am pissed off, but okay.¡± I hear Matt m the door ande back into the lounge. ¡°Fucking awesome punch, bro. I can¡¯t believe the dude¡¯s deal. I mean, who does shit like that.¡± ¡°I know; he has got balls.¡± I down what is left of my beer and make my way back to my room. I am still so worked up from this shit; I just need to rx. Iy down on my bed and close my eyes. Matt knocks on the door. ¡°Yes, Matty.¡± ¡°Bro, there is someone to see you.¡± ¡°Seriously? Is that asshole back? Does he want me to smash the other side off his face?¡± I am startled at the voiceing from the other side of the door. ¡°Soldier, is that how you greet all your guests?¡± ¡°Ana!¡± I jump off the bed and go to open it for her. My face lights up, staring at the beauty behind it. ¡°Ana. What are you doing here?¡± ¡°I came to check up on my soldier.¡± ¡°Come,e sit down. You have no idea how damn happy I am to see you.¡± I close the door behind us and sit down on the bed next to her, where she has taken a seat. I have not even realized until now that I am hopping around without my buddy. Itpletely slipped my mind that I took it off earlier. She has felt it; I guess she was going to see it sooner orter as well. ¡°So who are you punching around, soldier boy?¡± ¡°Boo, you don¡¯t want to know.¡± ¡°I think I have a fairly good idea.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s just leave it at that then. So what are you really doing here?¡± ¡°I came to see you.¡± ¡°But I thought you were not going to want to see me again after you found out about my leg.¡± ¡°Soldier, a broken leg is not going to keep me away.¡± ¡°But you never replied to any of my messages.¡± ¡°Cause Paul rocked up there and was in my damn hair the whole time. If I did not ask him to leave, then he¡¯d still be there now.¡± ¡°So, does this man still have a chance with his girl?¡± ¡°The soldier never lost his chance.¡± ¡°Come here.¡± I slide her closer to me. ¡°I missed you.¡± ¡°Really? What did you miss the much?¡± I softly push her hair away from her shoulder and run my lips down the bare of her neck. ¡°I missed that part.¡± I slowly move the strap of her top of her shoulder and kiss her there. ¡°And that part.¡± I gently pull her top down to expose part of her breast and brush my lips against her naked skin. ¡°And even that part.¡± ¡°Soldier, what are you doing?¡± ¡°Showing you what I missed.¡± I slide my hand up under her top and cup her breast. ¡°And definitely that part.¡± I massage her breast in my hand, then take her hard erect nipples between my thumb and finger and gently squeeze. ¡°And that, I have wanted to do that.¡± I take my hand and slip it down between the seam of her pants and skin straight into her tiny pair of panties. She whimpers and softly whispers in my ear. ¡°Soldier, you are ying with fire.¡± ¡°Boo, let me get burned.¡± I enter my finger between her folds and let it glide all the way to her entrance and inside of her. ¡°And this is what I missed the most.¡± ¡°My god, soldier, I am so d you missed that because that feels damn good.¡± ¡°Do you want me boo?¡± ¡°More than you know.¡± I get up to lock the door. ¡°What are you doing?¡± ¡°Giving you what you want.¡± ¡°But what about your parents?¡± ¡°You will just have to be quiet.¡± ¡°And your leg?¡± ¡°We will figure it out.¡± I pull her pink jersey over her head, and she takes my white shirt off and tosses it to the floor. I reach behind her back; I can feel her body tremble as I reach to unhook the clips of her ckce bra. Her perfectly formed breasts pop outpletely exposed. She is an absolute sight to behold. She pulls my blue denim shorts down from my waist, leaving me in only in my underwear; then she stands up in front of me and starts sliding her tight ck pants along with her ckce panties down the curves of her body, ¡°Boo, you are so beautiful.¡± She pushes me back onto the bed and slips my underwear off my leg. We both arepletely naked. ¡°Do you still want me now?¡± ¡°Soldier, I want you no matter what you have and don¡¯t.¡± I push her back to goy in the middle of the bed; the satin sheets are soft underneath our skin. I gently spread her legs open wide and position my body on my hands and knee between them. My erection is hard and throbbing as I position it over her entrance, and in one swift movement, I plunge it inside of her. ¡°Aaahhh fuck soldier,¡± My lips cover hers to muffle her screams. I slightly pull away from her and plunge back deep and fast again. I keep my length buried deep into her; I pump and pump, faster and faster, not leaving her once. I plunge hard, one, two, three more times. Then I pull away and plunge again, one, two, three more times, then hold. With our lips covering each other to swallow our screams, I pull away again; with three final thrusts, I plunge and hold. She grabs the sheets and crunches them between her fingers. Our bodies tense and then explode. My panting body drops down next to hers, our sweaty skin touching against each other. I turn and look into her sparkling eyes; I softly caress her cheek. I see in her eyes what I feel. She pulls the nket over both of us, and I pull her into my arms. And that is how we fall asleep Chapter 13 Dressed To Impress Falling in love is like jumping off a really tall building; your head tells you that you are an idiot, you are going to die, but your heart tells you that you should not worry, that you can fly. The first time I saw her, my heart whispered to me that she was the one, that she was my building. When I look at her, I know I can fly. Waking up next to her is the best kind of wonderful that you can feel. This is a moment I can live for, a moment that defines happiness. ¡°Morning, boo.¡± ¡°Hey soldier, is it morning already?¡± ¡°From the sunshineing through the window, I am sure that it is.¡± ¡°Fuck I slept herest night?¡± ¡°Yes, boo, and let me tell you, it¡¯s the best I have slept in months.¡± ¡°Well, I did not quite n things that way, but I am sure d I could help.¡± ¡°So you did not n on seducing mest night?¡± ¡°Uhm,st time I checked, you were kissing me out of my clothes, soldier.¡± ¡°As far as I remember, you did not quite squeal and asked me to stop.¡± ¡°Soldier, you taste those lips every day; I am pretty damn sure you know how good they feel.¡± ¡°Hahaha, I taste my own lips, you say?¡± ¡°Okay, that does sound like kind of kinky shit weird, but you catch what I am saying.¡± ¡°No boo, you will have to show me again.¡± She gently rolls her body on top of mine. ¡°Am I hurting you, soldier?¡± ¡°No boo, you definitely not hurting me, but you are making me horny.¡± ¡°Hahaha, that ain¡¯t happening; I am almost pretty sure I heard your parents are awake.¡± ¡°The door is locked; they can¡¯te in.¡± ¡°Nah ah, it ain¡¯t happening, soldier.¡± ¡°Then at least give the man a kiss.¡± ¡°Your kisses don¡¯t stay at just kisses.¡± ¡°What is the worst I can do? Take off your clothes?¡± ¡°They are¡­¡± ¡°Oh yes, you right, they are already off.¡± She is pressing her naked skin hard against mine. I can feel her erect nipples piercing into my skin. ¡°How much do you want me to beg, boo?¡± ¡°Depends. What are you begging for, soldier?¡± ¡°That kiss that I thought you were about to give me.¡± Her breath is on my lips, and I quiver a bit at the sensation. Her hair is in my eyes. Her intense stare pierces right through and keeps my heart beating so fast that I can barely breathe. Our skin touches, our lips meet, our eyes find one another. And a force bigger than both of us, bigger than anything imaginable, ovee us with no warning. And in an instant, it is as if the world had disappeared, nothing else existed; it is just her and me. Our breathing slows, and our hearts beat together. She brushes her lips against mine; they feel soft and warm. Her tongue gently strokes over my lips; she is begging them to open. She bites at my lower lip until I let her in. The second the tip of her tongue finds mine, my body crumbles. She is kissing me with so much passion and so much hunger. Our mouths are melted in one; our tongues intertwine together. She pulls back and stares into my eyes; I stare right back and kiss her hard again. ¡°Fuck boo; I want to lose myself between those legs of yours.¡± ¡°Mmmm, that sounds very tempting, but no. I ain¡¯t letting your mom hear me moan.¡± ¡°Boo, she probably already didst night.¡± ¡°Oh god, please don¡¯t tell me, how am I going to face her this morning, especially in the same clothes I had onst night. Do you think they will see me if I just walk out?¡± ¡°They either standing in the kitchen or sitting in the lounge; either way, they still going to see your sweet moaning ass leave through the front door.¡± ¡°Urgh, this is a disaster, and I am d you are finding it so damn hrious.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s have a shower; then you can put one of my sweats with a shirt on.¡± ¡°They still going to know.¡± ¡°It¡¯s either yesterday¡¯s old clothes or my fresh clothes, make a pick, they still going to think about whatever they are going to think; it does not matter what you wear.¡± ¡°Okay, I will go for looking like a soldier.¡± I slide from underneath the covers and sit on the edge of the bed. I raise onto my one leg and hop along to the shower. I can feel that she is watching me; if this were a few days ago, then I would have cared, but now somehow, I feelfortable moving around like this in front of her. I get to the shower and start running the water. ¡°Boo, are you going toe or stare at my sexy ass hopping around on one leg?¡± ¡°I aming, soldier.¡± I hop into the shower, holding on to the wall so that I do not slip. The water is running down my hair, all over my body. A slight breeze tickles my skin. I know she is there. She doesn¡¯t have to say a word. I can feel her eyes watching me as I shower. My eyes remain closed as I rinse the shampoo from my hair. When I finally open my eyes, I see her step into the shower with me. Damn, she is a sight to behold, especially when she is standing naked in front of me. I step back to allow the shower head to spray her with droplets that do nothing but entuate her beautiful curves; it glistens off her arms and trickles down her breasts. I watch the droplets run down her tummy and over her waist. She grabs two bath sponges and pours body wash into both ones for me and one for her so that we can wash each other down. She turns her back to me so I can scrub her down, first her back, then her neck. I then scrub down her legs. Then she spins around to face me. She starts washing my chest, my shoulders, my neck, and then the back of me. Once we are both done, I grab a towel and wrap it around my waist and head back into the room. ¡°Boo, will this be fine?¡± I hand her a pair of ck sweats with a red top. ¡°There, I thought you were going to dress me up as a marine girl.¡± ¡°I can always give you my service uniform?¡± ¡°Nah, I think I will stick with this then.¡± ¡°But you can always get into it for me, soldier; I would love to have something to drool about.¡± ¡°And there I thought I am enough just like this for drooling material.¡± ¡°Honey, this in front of me is not drooling material; it is I want to rip you to pieces and make sweet sex to you material.¡± ¡°So, what is stopping you?¡± ¡°Uhm, your very much awake, parents.¡± ¡°Hahaha, let me get dressed so I can go and embarrass you.¡± After getting dressed and putting my body back together, we make our way to the kitchen; she is a few steps back, hiding behind me ¡°Morning, my son,¡± my mom is the first one to greet me. ¡°Morning, mom.¡± Matt sees Ana hiding behind me, finding it quite hrious; he feels the need to point it out as he so casually greets her. My mom peeks over my shoulder and smiles. ¡°Oh, is that you Ana did not see you hiding behind Ethan there.¡± ¡°Come on, mom,¡± Matt says. ¡°The only thing big about him is his head; there is not much to hide behind.¡± ¡°Just like there is not much in that head of yours,¡± I say as I p Matt against the head. My father only but shakes his head as he turns to look at me. ¡°What is it that I hear about you punching some guy Paul in my housest night?¡± ¡°Nice going Matty, you never know when to keep that trap shut of yours.¡± Ana that is still hiding behind me, now steps in front of me and is looking all serious. ¡°Just hang a bit on there soldier, I did not think you were seriousst night. Was Paul really here?¡± ¡°Now you exin to her, Matty, you damn idiot.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t believe his fucking cheek. Sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Hunter, but that is in overstepping a line there. I will speak to him about it. It won¡¯t happen again, I can assure you.¡± ¡°Boo, trust me, he won¡¯te back here, and if he sets so much as a toe near you, then he is as dead as dirt.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, sweetie,¡± my mom reaches out to take Ana¡¯s hand. ¡°They boys always have things under control; why don¡¯t you help me with breakfast while they get ready for Maggie.¡± The entire room goes quiet as each syblees from her mouth. ¡°Maggie? What is Maggie doing here?¡± ¡°Sweetie, you said she cane to interview you for the paper.¡± ¡°Yes, let mom know when she cane.¡±Property of N?)(velDr(a)ma.Org. ¡°Well, she let me know this morning.¡± ¡°So we just dropping everything for the old bag?¡± ¡°Ethan, that is not necessary; Maggie is an asset to this town.¡± ¡°Yes, her ass is quite set outside the flower shop messing her nose in everybody¡¯s business.¡± ¡°Hahaha,¡± Ana is the first to burst intoughter. ¡°God, that is funny.¡± Matt shortly follows behind. ¡°Hahaha, that shit is hrious.¡± ¡°Hey, you two, poor Maggie is just alone,¡± my mom says as she is trying to sound sympathetic. ¡°What? ¡± I shout out in frustration. ¡°She has like seven damn cats. When does she get time to be alone between gossiping and ying with her cats?¡± ¡°Young man,¡± my dad says as he stares me down. ¡°Go get into your dress blues before she gets here.¡± ¡°Come on, seriously, dad, is that really necessary?¡± ¡°Off you go Ethan, I don¡¯t want to hear another whine out of you.¡± I turn to Ana and pull her away from where she is beating some eggs, ¡°Boo, pleasee with me.¡± ¡°You are missing a leg, not a hand,¡± my mom says as she pulls Ana back. ¡°You can get dressed by yourself.¡± ¡°Mom!¡± I make my way back to my room to change into the marine¡¯s dress blue uniform. Of all uniforms, I love this one the best. The dress blues is a dark blue coat featuring a scarlet piped mandarin cor and sky-blue trousers with ¡°blood stripes¡± on the sides. I give myself a once-over in the mirror. This brings back so many memories, a lot more good than bad; I really miss the core, I miss being out there on the front line, I just in miss being a marine. Before I let my mind dwell further and to avoid bursting into tears, I leave the room. As I enter the kitchen, my face immediately seeks Ana¡¯s. I need to see that she is okay, that this does not bring ugly memories up from her husband. I cannot see her. I feel a pair of hands wrap me from behind around my waist. She whispers in my ear, ¡°Hey soldier; I should have gone with you to change in this hot uniform; you look damn near good enough to devour.¡± ¡°I can always make an excuse for us to disappear.¡± ¡°Mmmm, I am all game.¡± I am finding it hard to get out the words. I clear my throat and speak, ¡°Uhm, this thing needs some adjustment, Ana, boo, will you pleasee to help me.¡± ¡°Oh no, you two don¡¯t,¡± my mom stops to stand directly in our way. ¡°You are not slipping away to go have sex.¡± ¡°Mom! We weren¡¯t!¡± ¡°Don¡¯t lie to your mother, Ethan; I heard your whole scheme.¡± ¡°Mom! Why are you listening to my conversation?¡± ¡°Because you don¡¯t really talk all that soft.¡± ¡°Mom, we were whispering.¡± ¡°Son,¡± my dad interrupts. ¡°Your mom can hear absolutely everything; the woman is not normal.¡± ¡°John, you better go open that door before I p you. I think I just heard Maggie¡¯s car stop.¡± My dad leaves an anxious me and two very excited women in the kitchen. It feels as if my entire insides might as well hit the floor, so damn nervous I am. Maggie and my father join us back in the kitchen. ¡°Hellooooo, my soldier boy, so are you ready for this interview. This is going to be super fun.¡± With heres some dude I have never seen before, which appears as if he is taping this whole damn thing, and also there is the poor photographer that needs to follow old Maggie around wherever she goes. This is about to turn into one hell of a show. My deepest secrets are about to be revealed. Chapter 14 The Crazy Show Skeletons are best left in the closet. Is Maggie about to uncover them? I will protect them with my dear life. We are all sitting in the lounge with Maggie while her monkey parade is setting up their equipment. ¡°Maggie, don¡¯t you think that this is too much? I mean, it is bad enough I am sitting in my blues for a small-town paper.¡± ¡°Ethan, my boy, you are going to make this town famous.¡± ¡°Oh god, Maggie, please don¡¯t put this on that silly old Facebook page of yours. I am going to have a whole bunch of grannies drooling over me.¡± Mom bursts out in a hystericalugh. ¡°Ethan! You just like your father now. You can¡¯t say things like that.¡± ¡°I agree, Mary,¡± I hear my father in his stern voice say. ¡°For once, we agree on something.¡± ¡°No, Mary. I agree with Ethan. It is pointless having an old bunch of women staring at him. We want the eyes that matters.¡± I turn my attention to my father¡± What eyes that matter, dad?¡± ¡°The press, my son.¡± ¡°Dad, Maggie is press enough for me.¡± And of course, Ana that is finding this all amusing, says her mouth¡¯s worth. ¡°Oh,e on, soldier, smile nicely for the olddies. Maybe even loosen some of those buttons and show them some flesh.¡± ¡°Boo, do not encourage her.¡± But it is toote; Maggie heard what Ana said and is staring at me like a hungry animal. ¡°That is a great idea, Ethan; maybe we can take some pictures with you without that shirt. I can see those tight muscles bulging underneath it.¡± ¡°Maggie! Urgh! What do you know about bulging muscles.¡± ¡°I have seen a few in my lifetime, my boy. Now that old Thomas from the hardware shop, now he has a good pack on him.¡± ¡°Aahhh, Maggie! Just shut up!¡± I watch Matt in the corner of my eye, almost rolling fromughter. ¡°Fuck bro, this is going to be shit funny. They are going to pin you up in the hair salon, the bakery, hell even the post office.¡± ¡°Matty, you are not helping either. I think you and Ana need to go sit outside.¡± ¡°And miss my soldier getting famous, that ain¡¯t going to happen.¡± The scuffle is finally over, and it seems like they have figured out how to use their equipment. ¡°Okay, I think we are ready to start.¡± ¡°Maggie, just keep it clean.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t make any promises, my boy.¡± The cameraman takes his position and starts to roll in. Three. Two. One. Action. And Maggie is on. ¡°Hey, fellow city folks.¡± God, this is not a city. But anyway¡­ ¡°I am here today with our own war hero, Ethan Hunter¡­¡± I am not a war hero either. ¡°He just got back from fighting that evil man in the east, which name we cannot mention.¡± What the fuck is she on about? ¡°The poord got hurt down there and had toe home. Even though all our hearts are sore, we are d to have him back.¡± Whose heart is sore? She is crazy¡­ ¡°But let¡¯s not wobble our minds about that; let¡¯s get to know the hunk of a soldier a bit better¡­ Hunk of a soldier? Seriously?¡­ ¡°Ethan, please tell us a bit more about yourself.¡± ¡°Well, Maggie, that is quite a broad question. Can you narrow it down to what bits you want to hear?¡± ¡°Tell us how old you are, my boy. You look way too boyish innocent to be a hardened soldier.¡± ¡°Wow, I will take that as apliment because my mom will p me if I am sarcastic on camera.¡± ¡°CUT!¡± Maggie¡¯s tiny voices raise a pitch higher than normal. ¡°You can say that shit on camera, now let¡¯s try again.¡± ¡°Well, Maggie, as you mention, I look like a boy, so I guess I am about eighteen.¡± ¡°CUT!¡± Maggie stop the camera rolling again. ¡°You are twenty-five. I googled you.¡± ¡°Whoa, now that is serious stalker shit.¡± Maggie turns to my father, not looking the least bit amused. ¡°John, please talk to your son; he is being just as difficult as you.¡± ¡°Son, just y nice with old Maggie,¡± my father says with a smirk on his face. ¡°Thank you, John, now let¡¯s try this again¡­Ethan, my boy, how old did you say you are?¡± ¡°I am twenty-five, Maggie.¡± ¡°And when did you join the army?¡± ¡°It is the Marines, and that was when I was eighteen.¡±Property of N?)(velDr(a)ma.Org. ¡°Tell me why does such a young boy want to go and risk his life like that?¡± ¡°I guess I always just felt I wanted to belong to something that makes a difference to the greater good.¡± ¡°Was this a motivation that you got from your father?¡± ¡°Fuck no, I need to choose my words very wisely; thest thing I want to do is piss the old man off. The entire nursing home is going tough at him when heunches off his chair and ps me real good.¡± ¡°My dad always encouraged me to do what I believe in.¡± ¡°Sounds like a wise man. John, if you just want to step into the picture so our viewers can see your face.¡± I don¡¯t know what is worse, the freak show or the fact that she thinks we have viewers¡­ ¡°Thank you, John. Now tell me, Ethan, how long were you in the marines.¡± ¡°Shit Maggie, I forgot to count. What is twenty-five less eighteen again?¡± ¡°CUT! Ethan, you cannot curse on camera.¡± ¡°Maggie, shit is not a curse word.¡± ¡°For half of ¡°Better Endings,¡± it is a curse word.¡± ¡°Can I say fuck then?¡± I am horrified by the next words thate out of Maggie¡¯s mouth, ¡°That is what the other has done in their spare time.¡± ¡°Gross! Fuck. No shit. Dammit. I did not need to hear that.¡± I hear Matt speaking in the background. ¡°Ana, I think now is a good time for us to go sit outside.¡± ¡°No. This is getting very interesting. I did not think old people do the funky monkey still.¡± I nearly fall off my chair hearing these wordsing from her mouth. ¡°Boo, really? Funky monkey?¡± ¡°Soldier, she just said we are not allowed to curse.¡± Maggie, all frustrated, stomps her feet. ¡°Can you kids focus? Ethan tell us how long you were in the army?¡± ¡°It was the Marines, and it was seven years.¡± ¡°And how long did you intend to fight the war.¡± ¡°It was not a war, and I was going to stay as long as I could.¡± I watch as my mom¡¯s face saddens me. I can remember that day very well when they said goodbye to me at the bus stop. That was the day I told her I wouldn¡¯t being home for a very long time. ¡°But then you got hurt.¡± Maggie carries on. ¡°Please tell the viewers how you got hurt.¡± ¡°Which part?¡± ¡°What part of your body got hurt?¡± ¡°My leg.¡± ¡°What happened to your leg, my boy?¡± ¡°I hurt it badly in an ident, and it got infected. They had to amputate it above my knee.¡± ¡°Can you please show our viewers?¡± ¡°Maggie!¡± I see my mom jumping from her chair. ¡°That is not happening!¡± Then my father shortly follows as he is clearly mad. ¡°You are not fucking making my son take his leg off for every shit face to see.¡± ¡°John!¡± my mom scolds him. ¡°No, Mary. We end this shit right here.¡± As if the first request was not bad, Maggie ms us with another, ¡°Okay, then can he at least take his shirt off for thedies a bit?¡± ¡°My god Maggie,¡± my mom stares at her in disbelief. ¡°Have you gone insane?¡± ¡°Mary, she had gone insane a long time ago,¡± my father adds. ¡°Fine,¡± I finally give in to stop this monkey parade. ¡°I will take my shirt off but not my fucking leg!¡± ¡°That is fantastic!¡± Maggie almost too eagerly says. ¡°Let¡¯s just finish this shit.¡± ¡°Are we taking the photos first?¡± ¡°Yes. Just get it over with.¡± ¡°Oh, we can take a few pictures of the pretty girl and you together. It will make all the girls white with jealousy.¡± ¡°Maggie, it is green.¡± ¡°What is green?¡± ¡°Never mind. Where do you want to do this?¡± She takes me to the damn backyard by the pool. Like this is a swimsuit photo shoot. All I need is the bimbos in their bikinis that are hanging all over me. Does she not want me to strip down to my underwear as well? ¡°Maggie, do you want me to take my pants off as well?¡± ¡°Now, that is not a bad idea.¡± My father immediately stops her. ¡°What did I say about the leg and ending this shit.¡± ¡°Oh, John,¡± she snaps at him. ¡°We are just having a bit of harmless fun.¡± ¡°Maggie, we all know that your fun is not harmless.¡± ¡°Okay, let¡¯s just do this with your pants on then.¡± In the first shot, she literally lets the cameraman take over five times. I can almost swear the old bag is doing it on purpose. All she wants to see is my abs muscles glimmer in the sun. She even gets baby oil from Ana to rub all over my chest. The next one is even worse; she tries to get me to pull my pants even lower. I swear if she pulls it even lower, this harmless fun is turning into hardcore porn. Thest damn one she gets me to wet my hair. I mean, really, now because I am a Marine, does she think I need to be wet. First, she says I am in the army but now when it suites her, she gets it right. ¡°Are we done now?¡± I annoyingly ask. ¡°Now, I want one of the pretty girls.¡± ¡°Maggie, don¡¯t you think you are going to get more views if they think I am single?¡± ¡°Yes, yes, you are actually right. Let¡¯s leave the girl then.¡± I don¡¯t want to put Ana through this shit even though she is finding it hrious. She is really getting itter. I get dressed again, and we head back into the lounge. But she is not done yet. The hardest part is about toe. ¡°Now, Ethan, my boy, can you tell us what happened.¡± I have not told it in detail to anybody that is sitting in the room. Do I want to, I will just tell them what they need to know. I don¡¯t want to put the image in anybody¡¯s head but my own.¡± I swallow hard and take a deep breath. My palms are getting sweaty, and I swear I can feel the pain in my leg all over again.¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± I tell her bits of what happened, just the highlights. Just enough to satisfy her curiosity. I told her up and till where we all realized that my leg was crushed and that they could not get me out ¡°What happened then, Ethan? Did they get you out?¡± My entire body freezes as the horror of that day overwhelms me. I can feel the pain like it was yesterday. I can still see their faces as clear as day. I can remember every move, every smell, and even every word that was said. I have to ask, do I really want to tell anybody what happened next? Chapter 15 Heros Soldiers Are Made Of What makes a hero? They say a hero is someone that has given his life to something bigger than himself. I say a hero is no braver than an ordinary man; he is just braver for five minutes longer. All soldiers are brave; it¡¯s what they do with their bravery that makes them heroes. Am I a hero? I am a soldier that put my life on the line to save my squad. It is my job; doing my job should not make me a hero. Do I tell people, the people I love, the woman I am going to love, do I tell everyone the truth? ¡°Maggie, can I have a few minutes alone with my family before we carry on?¡± ¡°Sure, we will go get some coffee in the kitchen.¡± Maggie and her crew turn to leave the room. Ana gets up and follows them out the door. ¡°No boo, you stay; I want you to hear this too. Please don¡¯t go.¡± My mom takes my cold hands into hers. They feel like an icy winter wind. They are shaking; an indescribable fear is building up in my body. ¡°Are you okay, Ethan? Are you cold, sweetie? Let me get you a jacket.¡± ¡°No, mom, I am not cold; I am scared. I want to ask you guys a question before I say anything.¡± My father looks at me with clear concern on his face. ¡°What is wrong, son? You have gone pale. Has Maggie gone too far with this whole show of hers?¡± ¡°No, dad. There is a lot more to my story. I want to know if you want to hear it.¡± Mattes on over to me. ¡°Bro, only if you want to say. I mean, there is no reason why you should tell Maggie everything.¡± ¡°I agree, soldier. It is your story. You tell only what you want them to know.¡± I turn to my mom and my dad and ask them the same question. ¡°Ethan,¡± my mom says as she holds my hand even firmer. ¡°My son, I support you no matter what you decide to do.¡± ¡°I agree with your mother. You do what you need to do. I will be right here for you. I will throw that bag out of here even if I have to.¡± ¡°It is going to be ugly,¡± I continue to say. ¡°It is not a story that is easy to tell. We lost a soldier that day. I think his story, our story, needs to be told. He was the hero after all.¡± ¡°Do you want me to sit with you, soldier?¡± Ana asks. ¡°Thanks, boo, but I need to do this one on my own.¡± ¡°Okay, but I am going to be right here if you need me. You got this; we all know you are strong; you can do this. Do you want me to go call that crazy olddy?¡± ¡°Yes, before I change my mind.¡± Old Maggiees back into the lounge and looks at me confused; I don¡¯t say a word; I just nod. She gets back into her chair, and the camera starts rolling again. ¡°Ethan, you were telling us how they got you out?¡± ¡°Maggie, just before we carry on. I want to say that if you are going to tell this story, then I want you to tell it all. Please do not cut any parts of this out.¡± ¡°Of course, my boy. Now take your time. What happened? ¡°As soon as all other soldiers managed to get themselves out, they came to help the one soldier that was trying to get me out. Johnny that is what we called him; Jonathan Bradford was his real name.¡± I take a deep breath to calm my racing heart and then continue further. ¡°They managed to get the busted chair back far enough to slip my leg out. My femur was broken; it was apound fracture that means the bone was piercing through my skin. All I could see was blood and flesh and bone sticking through all of that; it was the worst thing I have ever seen in my life. I could not walk, so I ordered them to leave me there; I would only slow them down if someone had to carry me. They had to get out of there because the gunfire was getting closer. I watched as my mom¡¯s eyes got wider. Her knuckles are white from her crushing her hands together. Dad and Matt are sitting dead still; it looks like they are almost not breathing. Isabelle has terror written on her face. She manages to give me a genuine smile as she sees me trembling. I swallow hard, and I try and keep the tears away. I wait until I amposed and continue on telling. ¡°They did not want to listen, especially Johnny. They stayed there and continued to argue with me that someone from base would notice that we were not back yet. They disobeyed my orders; they did not leave me. They stood around me while the gunfire got closer and closer. We were there for about ten minutes when we saw the first two, they were on footing towards us, shooting them down was easy enough, then there were another two and then another three, we managed to kill them without any one of us getting hurt. We were lucky. But then there was a Humvee with five of them; they came straight in our direction, shooting at us. But the strange thing is they did not hit us; it was if they wanted us alive.¡± I watch my dad; he knows what I am going to say next, and so do I. I grab onto my leg as the memories of that horrific daye back to me. That unbearable pain I felt in my leg is rushing back to my mind. Everything feels like it is happening in slow motion. ¡°This is enough. Maggie, I think you have more than enough to tell. Please pack up and get out of my house now.¡± ¡°Dad, it is fine. I want to finish.¡± ¡°Okay, son, but as soon as you had enough, just say the word, and they are gone.¡± I take a big sip of my water, what I would give to have whiskey in it right now. Before I can finish, Maggie starts again. ¡°Ethan, so your squad stayed with you after you told them to leave you?¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Yes, they all stayed.¡± ¡°And then you came under attack?¡± ¡°Yes, the group we drove through earlier caught up with us. We managed to kill all the ones that came on foot but then there was a bunch that came in a Humvee,¡± ¡°And they did not try to kill you? Did they not kill anyone in your squad?¡± ¡°No. They took us captive. They tied everyone except Johnny up; they made him carry me. They took us to a nearby abandoned building, it was the old jailhouse, and they locked us up and left us there alone for the first half of the day.¡± ¡°What did they want from you? Why were they holding you captive?¡± ¡°They wanted to know where our base camp was. When they saw that nobody was going to answer, they asked who the squad leader was. Johnny told them it was him, but of course, they knew he was lying.¡± ¡°Did you tell them it was you?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°They took me. They dragged me out of the cell to a small office close by and put me on and tied me to a chair.¡± ¡°What did they do?¡± ¡°They¡­ they tortured me.¡± ¡°THIS IS ENOUGH!¡± I hear my father¡¯s voice thunder as it echoes to every corner of every room in the house. ¡°Dad, it is fine.¡± I see the anger boiling in his face. But there is something else building in his eyes, itis tears, my dad, the big old stubborn man, is about to cry. I am still trying to hold back my very own tears. My trembling hands are now shaking; I can hear the buttons on the sleeves of my jacket rattle against the wooden frame of the chair. I can almost feel myself being tied up again. ¡°I must finish, dad, please.¡± ¡°Ethan, are you sure?¡± ¡°Yes, dad.¡± Maggie is sitting in silent shock. I think for once, the old bag has taken something on that is a bit bigger than herself. Never again do I think she will be snooping around where things are best kept hidden. I hear Maggie stutter to get the words out of her mouth. ¡°You say. Did they? You say torture?¡± ¡°They took their guns and started to pound at my broken bone that was sticking out my leg.¡± Every single one in the room cringe. That pain, that unbearable shock that shot through my body, everything I felt, came screaming back to me. It is like I can almost hear my screams of agony all over again. ¡°How long did they do this?¡± ¡°We were only there for a day and a half. They tortured me for nearly a full day of it, but it damn well felt like near forever.¡± ¡°That is horrible, Ethan! But why were they breaking a bone that was already broken?¡± ¡°If it were not for the damage they did to my leg, then I would never have lost it.¡± ¡°Are you saying that you did not lose your leg because of the ident?¡± I sigh as the realization of what that day cost mees back to me again. The way I looked at my mutted leg that day and wondered how the hell the base doctor was going to fix it. ¡°Yes. I lost my leg from the way the men tortured me.¡± ¡°Why did they not torture the other men?¡± ¡°I told them that I would take them to my toon leader if they just take me and leave the others alone.¡± ¡°But you weren¡¯t going to?¡± ¡°No, of course not!¡± ¡°How did you get away then?¡± ¡°We did not. Some of the toon came looking for us. We could hear them outside the jailhouse. We had no way to let them know we were inside.¡± ¡°Why did you not shout for them?¡± ¡°We had guns to our heads; they would have shot us if we made a sound. But Johnny could not take for me to get hurt anymore, so he shouted out to them.¡± ¡°What happened, Ethan?¡± I go dead silent as I rey that day, that very moment, over in my head. ¡°They killed him. They put the gun against his head and blew him away right in front of us. He died so we could be saved.¡± ¡°Were you saved then?¡± ¡°Yes. They took me straight to the helipad, where I was airlifted to the hospital. I was in and out of pain for days, not knowing what was going on around me.¡± ¡°Is that when you woke up and realized they took your leg?¡± ¡°I never thought that the way they tortured me would have taken my leg. I thought they could just stick in a te, and I would be good to go again. But when I finally came by long enough, that is when I saw they have taken off my leg just above where the bone pierced through my skin.¡± ¡°Do you regret it?¡± ¡°Regret what, Maggie?¡± ¡°Bing a Marine?¡± ¡°No. I would do it again if I had to choose it over. And if I had to live it again, I will still give my own life for my squad.¡± ¡°You are very brave, Ethan. I will make sure that we tell this story, the whole story.¡± ¡°Are we done now?¡± ¡°Yes, my son, I think that is enough.¡± ¡°Please, can you make sure I get a copy to send to Johnny¡¯s family?¡± My father immediately adds to my request. ¡°And we want to see it before you put anything on air or publish it.¡± ¡°And,¡± my mom says. ¡°You make sure to know that this boy has a girlfriend. I want no damn meat fest going on outside my door.¡± ¡°Hahaha, mom, we can hand them off to Matty boy here.¡± ¡°Yes!¡± Matty fist pumps in the air. ¡°Can you imagine how busy I am going to be?¡± I turn to Maggie that is quietly sitting in shock. ¡°Well, if you don¡¯t need me anymore, Maggie. Mom, Dad, I am getting out of these blues now. Are youing with me, Ana? ¡°I. Uhm. I¡­¡± My mom smiles as she waves Ana off. ¡°Go on; we are all grownups here. We used to Matty and his girls making noise.¡± ¡°Mom!¡± I gasp and nearly fall off my chair. I am only changing!¡± ¡°I am only saying.¡± I take Ana by the hand as we leave the lounge. Our bodies are still absorbing the shock that we experienced for the past hour. We both don¡¯t say a word. Only once I lock my bedroom door firmly behind us does she speak. ¡°I am proud of you, soldier. That took a lot to tell things like that like it is. And still, after all of that, you only make Johnny the hero. You both are heroes. If it was not for you, those other boys might be losing some part of their bodies as well. You are a good man Ethan Hunter.¡± ¡°You want to tell me not even that shit scared you off?¡± ¡°You are going to have to do a lot better than that to scare me off, soldier.¡± ¡°Well,e here, and I can show you something else that might scare you off.¡± ¡°Oh really. What else are you hiding, soldier?¡± ¡°Before I show you, first there is something I have to tell you.¡± Chapter 16 Laying It All Bare Opening up takes a great deal of courage. Prying open your rib cage and letting everything out that is locked away hidden in your heart. Ana has been in my life for a week. When I knew I wasing home, I thought I woulde andy in my own pool of misery. I never imagined I would meet her and that she would steal the thing that I thought was damaged the most, my heart. I am so in love with this woman that I cannot see myself living without her. There are things that I still have to tell her, but I think it is time to close the closet; enough skeletons have escaped through these doors ¡°So out with it, soldier, what do you want to tell me?¡± ¡°Argh, it is nothing important, boo.¡± ¡°Mmm, are you keeping secrets from me, soldier?¡± ¡°I just wanted to tell you how crazy I am about you.¡± ¡°That is one of the oldest ones in the book. Why don¡¯t you try that again?¡± ¡°I am crazy about you, boo.¡± ¡°Not even close to believing you, soldier.¡± ¡°And if I say that I am crazy in love with you?¡± ¡°I¡¯d say you are getting a bit warmer.¡± ¡°And head over foot crazy in love with you?¡± ¡°You are getting there but not hot enough yet, soldier.¡± ¡°I think I am badly madly in love with you, boo.¡± ¡°You only think so?¡± ¡°Dammit, boo. How must I spell it out for you? I. Am. In. Love. With. You.¡± ¡°I think you might have just got yourself on the hot side there.¡± My fingers grasp hold of her hand, and I pull her closer to me, ¡°Come here, boo.¡± I slip my hands around her waist and pull her body into mine. My cold cheek rub against her face as my lips softly whisper into her ear, ¡°I want you.¡± ¡°That ain¡¯t happening, soldier.¡± ¡°But why not boo.¡± ¡°Soldier, there is no way. Can you imagine what is going through your mom and Maggie¡¯s head?¡± ¡°Fuck boo; now I am never going to want it again. A man can live with his mother thinking shit but not that eagerly frustrated olddy.¡± ¡°Aaahhh fuck, soldier, that is sick.¡± ¡°Carry on shouting like that, and they are definitely going to think we are doing it.¡± ¡°Hahaha, don¡¯t tempt me.¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you rather keep that mouth quiet and kiss me?¡± She locks her hands around my neck and guides my lips down to meet hers. Her kiss obliterates every thought. All the worries of the day evaporate like a cool summer shower onto a hot tar road. My only desire now is to touch her and to move my hands over every curve of her body. Sheces her fingers around my buckle, slowly undoing my belt. Sliding her hands inside my now loose pants, she takes my ass firmly in her hands. ¡°Boo, what are you doing? I thought you did not want to do it with everyone in the house?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t get too excited there, soldier; I am only helping you get undressed.¡± ¡°You know that you are going to do more than just undress me?¡± ¡°Oh, you bet I am; I can already feel it.¡± ¡°Boo, I won¡¯t be loud;e on, the door is locked.¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Mmm, you are making a good point.¡± ¡°Which point are you referring to?¡± ¡°Hahaha, that is a terrible soldier.¡± ¡°Boo, you not supposed tough when I talk dirty.¡± ¡°Oh, is that what you called that?¡± She slips my pants over my ass and lets them drop to the floor. God, she is driving me nuts; I think she is almost doing it on purpose. ¡°What about we y a game of tit for tat. I do something, and you do it better in return.¡± ¡°Mmm, I can already see that I am going to lose the game. But I will bite. Who goes first?¡± ¡°I am at an advantage, so you must go first.¡± ¡°Why do I think I have been tricked here?¡± ¡°Boo, I will never trick you.¡± ¡°Says him with a smirk on his face. What are you up to, soldier?¡± I bite at my bottom lip and start sliding arm by arm out of my jacket. I toss it to the armchair standing in the corner. ¡°Sneaky soldier. You think you are going to get me to take my clothes off?¡± ¡°Technically yes,e on boo, you said you are going to bite, now bite and take that top off.¡± ¡°Hahaha, you think you are really clever.¡± I watch her as she scrunches her fingers in the seams of her top and pulls it off over her head. Her loose locks of hair fall down and cover her naked breasts. ¡°Mmm, I forgot you were not wearing a bra. God, I need to touch you.¡± I step towards her. ¡°Oh no, you don¡¯t.¡± ¡°But boo.¡± ¡°No, but boo. Why are you still wearing that shirt? Take it off, soldier. I want to see those tight muscles of yours.¡± Grabbing my shirt from the back of my neck, I pull it over and chuck it to the pile next to hers. I can see the lust and desire flickering in her eyes. ¡°God, I will never get tired of seeing those. You make a girl feel things in ces she shouldn¡¯t feel.¡± She drags her fingers over every edge of my sculpted chest. The sensation of her touch against my bare skin sends a warmth of electricity throughout my body. Just one single touch from her hands and it sends me raging. ¡°How about you lose those pants, boo? I think they look far better on the floor.¡± ¡°Are you seriously going to get me to strip it all down for you, soldier?¡± ¡°Yes, every bit, I want to see your gorgeous body standing in front of me naked.¡± She hesitates for a few seconds, then she takes the band of her pants and slowly starts moving them over her waist, taking them painfully long over her thighs then pushing them down her long legs before steppingpletely out of them. That warmth is now consuming me as I look at her standing there bare in front of me. God, she is beautiful. ¡°Mmm, you don¡¯t have panties on either.¡± ¡°And you still have one piece of bit to take off.¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t youe and help me take it off?¡± ¡°You are cheating, soldier.¡± ¡°But it feels so much better when you do it.¡± ¡°You just want me close so you can get your hands on me.¡± ¡°Boo, I am getting my hands on you no matter if you are here or there.¡± She steps forward with a big smile on her face. She slides her fingers into the front of my underwear, seemingly innocently ying with the stic between her fingers. She knows exactly what she is doing, she is teasing me to absolute torture, and she is enjoying every minute of it. Every time she slides her finger inside, I catch my breath; I swear it feels like I stop breathing. ¡°You can¡¯t do that to a man, boo.¡± ¡°Ssshhh, soldier.¡± Unable to stand the frustration building up in me, I grab my underwear from her teasing fingers and pull them off my legs. It catches herpletely by surprise, and she gasps ¡°Oh, my fuck soldier. That is¡­ I mean¡­ I guess now the game is over?¡± ¡°I have another game I want to y.¡± ¡°Oh, really, and what would that be?¡± ¡°I will have to show you.¡± ¡°Mmm, I don¡¯t know so much about that one.¡± ¡°Ssshhh, it¡¯s your turn to keep quiet.¡± I take her hair and pull it away from her neck, gently cing soft sensual kisses down her bare skin. I watch as she closes her eyes, and I hear her moan deep under her breath. ¡°Mmm, soldier.¡± ¡°Oh my god, boo, the things I want to do to you right now.¡± I easily lift her off her feet and carry her toward the bed. She falls with a soft bounce onto the mattress. ¡°What are you doing, soldier?¡± ¡°You will see.¡± I slide my hands up her slender waist, and she arches her body into mine. She moves her hands around my neck and strokes her fingers through my thick hair. The way she is moving underneath me is making my body react in ways that I only want to show her. ¡°If you keep on moving like that, then you going to get yourself in a whole ocean of trouble.¡± ¡°Soldier, I am already in it; I might as well swim.¡± Our lips move closer, and they touch. The kiss is a gentle brush of lips but soon turns into a smooth dance of caressing tongues. She tastes like a sweet red wine; I can sip at her lips until I get drunk. My hands roam over her body; I can hear her body moan at the power that my touch has on her skin. She runs her palms down my stomach to my back and slowly pulls me in even closer. All sense of control has left my body; I am going to take her until she bes mine. ¡°Boo, I am going to make you mine.¡± ¡°Then take me, soldier.¡± I slip my hands between her warm thighs, trailing my hard length through her wetness and finding her entrance. I slowly push down and slide my throbbing head in. ¡°Oh god, Ethan!¡± She clenches the sheets between her fingers and raises her hips slightly to further drive me inside. Slowly I move against her. My chin rests on her shoulder as my hips keep driving deep and hard. I slip out a moan and whisper into her ear. ¡°Fuck boo, you are driving me crazy.¡± Our bodies are moving purposefully into and against each other. I can feel the emotion pulsing between us, and I am no longer able to contain myself. ¡°Boo, I don¡¯t think I can control myself any longer.¡± She lets out a deep moan which only fuels my desire. ¡°Mmm, soldier.¡± With each sensual stroke, I start speeding up my pace. I keep driving deep and hard; our bodies feel like they are bound together and melting into one. ¡°Fuck boo; I can¡¯t¡­¡± The hot waves of pleasure start building deep in my body, turning my limbs to jelly and my mind to mush. She throws her head back, and her body trembles. My heart stops, and my body burns as all my control crumbles. Just as I am about toe down from my high and drop down next to her on the bed, there is a knock on the door. ¡°Somebody better be dead or dying.¡± ¡°Sorry, bro.¡± ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Matty?¡± ¡°There is someone here to see you.¡± I look at Ana, confused. ¡°Who?¡± ¡°He says his name is Ray.¡± ¡°Ray Evans?¡± ¡°Fuck I will be there now.¡± I jump off the bed and get dressed. Ana looks at me while I frantically look for my clothes. ¡°Who is Ray Evans?¡± ¡°He is my toon leader.¡± ¡°What is your toon leader doing here?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know, but I am about to find out.¡± Chapter 17 Hidden Truths When you are in the Marines, everythinges to you as a surprise. You never know what your next move is going to be. What are you going to do and where are you going to be. I guess, in a way, it is true that being in the Marines and even the Military prepares you for everything. I am a man that is all up for surprises. There are those that are weed, and then there are those that you just wish never happened. The question is, what kind of surprise has your old toon leader brought to your door. I quickly rush into my clothes before Ana, and I walk to the lounge. I swear that I still smell of sex, but that is the least of my worries now. As I enter the lounge, Evans gets off his chair from where he is sitting across from my father. If he fucking salutes me, then I am punching him straight in the face but thank the pope, he only shakes my hand. ¡°Good to see you again, Hunter.¡± ¡°Evans, it is a surprise to see you here.¡± In the Marines, as with the Military, we usest names when addressing each other. Mainly to avoid confusion. A toon or squad may have several people with the same first name, but it is less likely that they will have the samest name, although it is possible. ¡°What do I owe the visit to?¡± ¡°Can we take a walk?¡± ¡°Sure, not a problem.¡± I turn to Ana, who is standing next to me with her jaw dropped to the floor. Ray has always been popr with thedies. I mean, look at the damn man. I think it is the silver fox look that does the deed, women like falling for that kind of shit. ¡°Boo, you can close your mouth now. I thank I can see the drool dripping from your mouth.¡± ¡°That is gross, soldier, and nothing is dripping from my mouth. Do they make all the Marines so damn hot?¡± ¡°Only me, boo.¡± ¡°Hahaha, keep on telling yourself that; you might just believe it.¡± ¡°I am going to remember that remark when you want some of this again.¡± ¡°Soldier, I have you tightly twisted around my finger. I am getting it whether you want to or not.¡± ¡°Oh, is that so. You pretty confident for ady that was like putty in my hands not even ten minutes ago.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t go around and advertise shit like that.¡± ¡°Fuck, if you don¡¯t stop me, then I am going to swap stories with old Matty just now.¡± ¡°You would not dare, soldier.¡± ¡°Just watch me, boo.¡± I cup her chin in my hand as I give her a wicked grin and ce a soft kiss on her sweet lips. ¡°I will see you just now. Are you going to stay here with my mom?¡± ¡°Yes, soldier, I will be here waiting for you.¡±Property of N?)(velDr(a)ma.Org. Evans leads me out of the front door, where we make our way to the paved driveway that leads to the road. There are a few minutes of ufortable silence before he finally speaks. ¡°So, how are you doing?¡± ¡°You mean the leg doing?¡± ¡°If you want to say it that tant, then yes. How are you holding up?¡± ¡°Some days are better than others. It is something that you will never get used to. I don¡¯t even think that if I were born this way, it would be something I can live with.¡± ¡°And the pain? Does it still hurt?¡± ¡°It is always going to hurt whether it is phantom or real pain; it is going to stay there.¡± ¡°Are you not angry? Don¡¯t you regret joining the Marines?¡± ¡°No. I am angry that Johnny had to die. If I had a second chance, then I¡¯d choose the Marines again.¡± ¡°That is one day in my entire Marine Corps life that I would want to do again. I would have never sent you boys on that suicide mission.¡± ¡°Hey, don¡¯t beat yourself up. You did not know that the militia group moved over in there that night.¡± ¡°I should have sent another squad in with you. I knew that we had not cleared that townpletely.¡± ¡°Evans, do not me yourself. We all know what we are in for when we sign up. Nothing you did differently would have changed the situation.¡± ¡°It¡¯s hard sleeping at night when you know you lost one soldier and had one injured as badly as you. You boys were my responsibility, and I failed you. You have no idea how goddamn sorry I am.¡± ¡°You can be d that I can¡¯t bnce myself perfectly on this, buddy; otherwise, I would have kicked your ass just now. Stop this bullshit of ming yourself.¡± ¡°Still as hard-ass as ever.¡± ¡°Tell me why you are here? I somehow doubt you came here for a pity party.¡± I watch Ray as he is clearly trying to find the right way to say what he is about to say, ¡°I want you to redeploy.¡± ¡°You want me what?¡± ¡°I want you to deploy with the old toon when we go out again.¡± ¡°Have you forgotten about that tiny little detail of not having half a leg?¡± ¡°You will be part of the battle staff operations.¡± ¡°But how is it even possible?¡± You will have to go through the Physical Evaluation Board, which can determine if you are still fit to serve. Then the Continuation on Active Duty program to prove you are still physically able to serve.¡± ¡°But I need to start training then. How long do I have? I mean, if I decide to do it. Fuck I did not know there is even a slight possibility for me ever to deploy again.¡± ¡°We deploy in a month again. I really want you back. You are one of my best. You will be a valuable asset to battle operations.¡± ¡°Fuck Ray, I swear I could almost kiss your ass right now. The Marines is my life; this is why I joined, to deploy, to be out there. I would go through any damn program you throw at me if it means I can do it again.¡± ¡°So, does that mean you are in?¡± Am I in? Of course, I am; there is no reason why I should not be. But is this something I need to discuss with my family? With Ana? I am a Marine; I will always be a Marine. If I can get the dream back that I lost, why would I not be in? ¡°You can count me in. Where do we start?¡± ¡°We need to get you fit. It is going to be hard, but I know you will persevere.¡± ¡°You know I am good for it. I have never been one to back down from a challenge. Give me a purpose, and I will make it work.¡± ¡°I will set everything up. Tell all the powers that need to know. The boys are going to be fucking stoked that you are back.¡± I absolutely love the sound of those words¡­ You are back¡­ I have not been so excited since I can nearly remember for the past few months. Well, apart from the first time Iid eyes on Ana. That miracle that I have been wanting since this whole ordeal happened has finallye to me. ¡°I guess that you are not going to discuss this one with the folks?¡± ¡°No, not now. And definitely not with Ana. You remember Jenkins over in Lopez¡¯s toon?¡± ¡°The poor bastard that got himself blown to pieces?¡± ¡°Yup, that one, well, that is her husband.¡± ¡°Fuck, that has got to hurt, I mean, he went home in a body bag with what was leftover, and that was not much.¡± ¡°She does not know that I know, so keep it on the low key.¡± ¡°Mmm, you seem to be hiding a lot of secrets from this girl. Do you ever intend on telling her?¡± ¡°I say why open a box that is better left sealed.¡± I know that I must be the world¡¯s most awful person, but I can just not find it in my heart to tell her that I know who her husband is. I did try earlier, and we all know how that one turned out to be. I know it is not for me to decide what is good for her or not, but I feel that the less she hurts, the better off she will be. Certain kinds of pains just never heal; losing a loved one that is a million miles away is just one of those pains you don¡¯t need to feel. ¡°I better be going; my misses have been clinging to me like shit. I think my phone has vibrated six times by now.¡± ¡°They do kind of love their messages, don¡¯t they?¡± When we get back to the house, Ray says his goodbyes and leaves. He does not say a word to anyone, which fuels their curiosity even more than before. They are all eagerly waiting to hear what happened as I take my seat next to Ana. ¡°So what did that hot toon leader of yours want, soldier?¡± Now, what do I say? All I know is that I didn¡¯t join the Marines to sit around and have afortable lifestyle. I joined the Marines because I knew it would be hard work, and it is, but when you¡¯re done, you can look back and say, ¡°Wow, look at everything I did.¡± Chapter 18 Following Your Dreams Decisions are one of the hardest things that you will ever make in your life. They are about choosing between where you should be and where you want to be. They are those choices that change everything. Those moments when you decide to change something that you should stick by and staymitted to. You are always one decision away from a different path and a different end. I have three pairs of eyes staring back at me; what I choose to say now will definitely be one of those decisions. After several moments in silence, Ana is the first to speak. ¡°So out with it, soldier. What did mister hot toon boss want?¡± ¡°It seemed quite serious; what did he want, Ethan?¡± my mom is the second to ask. My dad sees the nervous expression all over my face, tries to ease the tension. ¡°Give the boy a broken girl; if he wants to tell us, then he will.¡± ¡°Thank you, dad. The thing is, I don¡¯t think any one of you is going to like it.¡± Matt and Chloee walking into the lounge and take a seat next to my father. ¡°So what did I miss? That Ray is one mean-looking dude.¡± Chloe chuckles and adds, ¡°If all mean-looking Marinese looking like that, then I definitely want me one.¡± ¡°Hey! What am I then? Some chop liver techie guy?¡± Matt turns his attention away from Chloe and looks at my dad. ¡°Dad, I think I am joining the Marines; we can¡¯t have Ethan get all the attention and the girls to go with that.¡± ¡°Matt, you won¡¯tst a single day out there. Those girly hands of yours can¡¯t do a real man¡¯s job.¡± ¡°If these girly hands can¡¯t do a real man¡¯s job, then why do all the girls¡­.¡± I immediately stop him in his tracks before that mouth gets him into trouble. ¡°Whoa, just stop there! I don¡¯t think that either one of us wants you to finish that sentence.¡± ¡°Well,¡± Ana thankfully changes the subject. ¡°Why don¡¯t you finish that sentence of yours and tell us what it is that we are not going to like?¡± ¡°Well, the thing is, Ray, in fact, all the boys in the toon, wants me toe back.¡± ¡°Thank god,¡± Ana expresses her relief. ¡°You can¡¯t because there was no way I was going to let you go.¡± ¡°Actually, I can,¡± ¡°What do you mean you can?¡± my mom asks. ¡°What about your leg?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± Ana agrees. ¡°Soldier, did you kind of forget that tiny bit of detail?¡± ¡°I have to pass a fitness program and an evaluation board, but I can deploy again.¡± I say it with the utmost confidence and determination in myself. This has been a day I have been looking forward to for months, a day that I never thought woulde. I know I can pass a simple fitness test and prove I am fit to deploy. I am boiling over from happiness, but I somehow detect that the rest of the room does not hold the same sentiment. ¡°That is amazing son, what a wonderful opportunity for you to get back into the Marine Corps.¡± We all snap our heads in my father¡¯s direction. It is as if some foreign words have slipped off his tongue. Matt looks from to my father and then back to me. ¡°I think I have now gonepletely deaf. First, I thought Ethan said he was going back to deploy, and then dad is happy about that. I knew I should have scrubbed a bit harder around my ears this morning.¡± ¡°Hahaha, I agree with the part of what the fuck did dad just say.¡± ¡°Oh, so you heard that too?¡± My father just waves us off as he continues on. ¡°Oh, stop being so dramatic, you two. Ethan has just shown me there is more out there than having a fancy title in front of your name.¡± ¡°But sergeant is also a fancy title,¡± my mom says. ¡°I don¡¯t know so much about being sergeant again, mom. I will be part of battle operations.¡± ¡°You still serving your country, son,¡± my dad states. ¡°That is all that matters.¡± I look over at Ana that has gonepletely silent. Her face gives nothing away about how she feels. The curious nosy girl has disappeared and given way to this quiet wordless woman. She seems to have lost all interest and is maybe even a little disappointed ¡°Boo, are you okay? What do you think?¡± ¡°I think that is great; I know how much being a Marine means to you.¡± Well, that did not sound really much convincing. She is obviously saying far less about how she really feels. But as I have learned with Ana, there is a time and ce for every moment, and now is not the one to bring the real issue about my deployment up.Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org. ¡°So what are you going to do, Ethan?¡± my mom is the brave one that dares to ask. ¡°Well, we are deploying in a month. I need to start training if I want to get through this program.¡± ¡°Awesome, bro, I must warn you, I am not easy at ckers; I am going to train your ass hard. The girls can even join us if they like.¡± ¡°What do you say, boo?¡± I turn my eyes to Ana again. ¡°Does it mean you are going to deploy again?¡± my mom asks again. I watch as all eyes are on me again. But I am only seeking one pair of eyes this time, I am only looking for one person¡¯s approval now, and she is not saying a word. Her big brown eyes are burning straight through to my bone. If she has something to say about it, she is definitely not going to say much at all now. ¡°Yes, mom, I am.¡± I look back over to Ana again. ¡°So what do you say, boo? Are you going to train with Matty and me here?¡± She hesitates for a second. ¡°Only if my girl Chloe is training with you boys.¡± ¡°Believe me, girl, I ain¡¯t leaving the two hottest asses in town running all bare-chested alone. If you think Maggie is bad, girl, you have seen nothing yet.¡± ¡°Hahaha, I guess I am putting my running shoes on then.¡± We all burst intoughter, and I get the feeling that everyone is just as happy as I am. ¡°So that is settled,¡± my dad says. ¡°Seems like our boy is going back to the Marine Corps.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t wait for it, dad. This is the most hope that I have had in months.¡± ¡°I know, son, I know how much this means to you.¡± Then finally, some words of encouragemente from Ana. ¡°See, soldier, not every end has to be an ending.¡± ¡°Thanks, boo.¡± ¡°Now, if everyone will excuse me, as much as I love the soldier, I really need to get out of his clothes.¡± ¡°I wille with you, you know to get my clothes back.¡± Matt winks and smiles at Ana and me. ¡°Hahaha, I don¡¯t think everyone is that stupid.¡± ¡°It¡¯s only you that has the dirty mind,¡± Chloe says as she ps Matt on the arm. ¡°Hahaha, he did not say what kind of stupid,¡± I say to Chloe. ¡°Who is the one with that dirty mind now?¡± ¡°Oh, you boys are impossible. Ana gives me your number, and we can coordinate outfits for our run.¡± After exchanging numbers with Chloe, Ana walks with me to my room to grab her bag and her old dirty clothes. We head out the back door and make it up the path to her home. The walk is, for most parts, very quiet; not much is said, especially not much about my redeployment. When we get to her ce, we settle down with a beer on the deck and watch as the day draws to a close and the sun creeps closer to the horizon. ¡°Boo, please talk to me. You have not said much.¡± I pull my chair closer to hers and wrap my arm around her waist. I feel her body rx into me as I pull her even closer to me. I have not held her so close the entire day; I have craved for her touch, for her body to be near mine. There is a soft scent of honey lingering in her hair as my chin rests on her head. My hand is resting on her waist with my thumb softly caressing her exposed skin. ¡°Boo, do you ever not feel this good?¡± I cup her face in my hand and turn it to meet mine. There is a deep smoldering look in her eyes. I slowly press my lips against hers; they are soft and gentle. As I kiss her with all the raw passion inside me, there is a wave of warmth that fills me up, spilling out from my heart and rushing to every corner of my body. Every inch of me is saturated with her. I draw back and study her face for a moment. ¡°Boo.¡± ¡°Yes, soldier?¡± ¡°What is wrong? This is not my Be. Please talk to me.¡± ¡°Can I ask you, something soldier?¡± ¡°Yes, of course, boo, you can ask me anything.¡± ¡°Do you think there is something more, something serious between us?¡± ¡°Yes, I do; I know there is something more between us, and I want there to be even more than that.¡± ¡°Then, soldier, why did you not talk to even your family or me before you made your decision?¡± ¡°What decision, boo?¡± ¡°To redeploy, you did not speak to anyone about it.¡± ¡°Boo, I did not think, I did not know that I had to. I thought everyone would have my back.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t get me, wrong soldier; I know that the Marines mean a lot to you, but you have people here that you mean a lot to. I just wish that you would have spoken to me.¡± ¡°What are you saying, boo? Do you not want me to go?¡± ¡°I am saying that I don¡¯t think I can have another life-defining rtionship with a man that is in the Marines.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t understand, boo?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think I can be in a rtionship with you if I have to worry every day that you might die ande home in an even smaller body bag.¡± ¡°But boo, I will only be at base.¡± ¡°For how many months on end? Being involved with a Marine is like dating death. You never know when he is going toe around or when he is going to go.¡± ¡°Boo, are you asking me not to go?¡± ¡°I will never ask you to decide between the Marines and me. I am just saying that it is not something I can do again.¡± ¡°But that is asking me in a way because you know how much I feel about you and that I would do anything to be with you.¡± ¡°That would mean giving up the Marines, and I would never ask you to do that.¡± ¡°Boo, we can work around this. Please don¡¯t make this sound like the end.¡± ¡°Soldier, I am not making it sound like the end; it sounds like reality.¡± ¡°What are you saying?¡± ¡°I think I just need some time alone.¡± I finish off my beer and get off my seat to ce the empty bottle in the bin that is standing in the kitchen. She follows behind and does the same. ¡°I am sorry, boo, I did not mean to upset you. I should have spoken to you before doing anything, but I was just so happy that I did not think about it.¡± ¡°Soldier, don¡¯t apologize for wanting to follow your dreams. Don¡¯t ever give your dreams up just to make someone else happy.¡± ¡°But boo, you make me happy.¡± ¡°And so does the Marines. It is your purpose in life, don¡¯t lose it; I will not allow you to give up on your dreams.¡± ¡°Thank you, boo. So what time should I be here tomorrow?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry about me; I won¡¯t be joining you guys.¡± ¡°Why boo?¡± ¡°Soldier, you must focus on getting fit. I am just a distraction. I don¡¯t want to be that woman that stops you from living your dreams.¡± ¡°You are not a distraction. Don¡¯t ever say that; you are the reason that I put this stump on every morning to live another day.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the thing. Each day that I wake up, I don¡¯t know if you are going to live another day. Soldier, I don¡¯t think I can do that.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t understand? What are you saying? Are you breaking us off?¡± Chapter 19 The Beginning Of The End Following your dreams or following your heart. That is a difficult decision to make. You spend so much time of your life living for a dream, for that purpose that drives the bones moving in your body. Then again, your heart can also give you a purpose; it can give you a dream that is worth living for too. But they say follow your head and not your heart, following your heart is a bigger risk to take, though is following your heart, not the better choice to make. That brings me to this moment. Am I going to lose Ana because I want to follow my dreams? I look deep into that big brown eyes of hers, I am shocked to see the tears build up in them and tiny drops roll down her cheeks. ¡°Boo, no, why are you crying?¡± I try to pull her into my arms, but she softly pushes me away. ¡°I don¡¯t understand; what is wrong? Why are you crying? Why can¡¯t I hold you?¡± She is breathing short heavy breaths, and I can hear little sobbing noisesing from her chest. ¡°Please, boo, why are you so upset?¡± She takes a deep breath before she speaks, wiping the tears away with the sleeves of her white jersey. ¡°Ethan, I can¡¯t do this. My heart can¡¯t break again; I won¡¯t survive it.¡± ¡°What are you saying?¡± ¡°I think it is better if we end this. We both are going to get hurt. We are already hurting, and it is just going to get worse.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t believe what you are saying. I don¡¯t know what to say. This is¡­¡± ¡°This is the best for both of us.¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you let me decide what the best is for me?¡± ¡°Yes, you are deciding what is best for you, but it is not best for me. I cannot go through that shit again.¡± ¡°So I must decide between the Marines or staying with you. Is that what you are telling?¡± ¡°No cause I have decided.¡± ¡°For fuck sakes, Ana, can I not make my own damn decisions too?¡± ¡°You have already decided, Ethan. I am just making it easier for you.¡± ¡°Easier? Really? Do you call this easier? You just conveniently decided to break it off cause you can¡¯t deal with it if I go to the Marines again?¡± ¡°Yes, Ethan. I think that about sums it up.¡± ¡°Fuck this shit. I did not sign up for this.¡± ¡°Do you think I signed up for this shit? Sorry not again.¡± ¡°Then maybe you should not have fallen in love with a Marine in the first ce.¡± ¡°You damn right. I want you to leave. I don¡¯t think there is anything left to say.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t believe you. It is not only your heart that is breaking.¡± ¡°Then I guess we are both heartbroken.¡± ¡°Whatever, just leave it. I am going to go. I wish you all the best with your decision. I am not dealing with this shit right now.¡± ¡°Good luck with the training; I really wish you the best redeploying.¡± ¡°Bullshit!¡± ¡°You are right; it is bullshit. Please just leave.¡± ¡°I spin around and storm out the door.¡± As I hit the gravel road that leads down to my house, the pain explodes from my heart, and I burst out in tears. They are running uncontrobly down my cold cheeks and dripping down my neck. The pain is incredible; it is too much, I can¡¯t breathe, and my body has gone stiff; I can¡¯t move. The hurt pounding in me is too much to bear; it is suffocating me, paralyzing me. I sit down on a nearby rock and grab my face in my hands. It is gonepletely silent around me, the only sound is that of a dog that is howling in the distance, but I soon realize it is not the howling of a dog but my own crying. I have the incredible urge to take my phone and to phone her. To say I am sorry, sorry for the mean things that I said. Sorry for hurting her and making her cry.Property of N?)(velDr(a)ma.Org. But I don¡¯t¡­ I get up and make my way home. I know I am going to have to face my mom and dad. I wish I did not have to, but there won¡¯t be any avoiding them. As I step into the kitchen, my mom and dad are sitting around the counter. This is normally the time for my mom¡¯s afternoon tea, and my dad just usually sits and irritates her with all his wild stories and constantining. They immediately notice me as Ie walking through the door. ¡°Hey Ethan,¡± my mom greets me as she turns to face me. ¡°Hey, mom, dad.¡± My dad is the first to see that something is wrong, and he takes no time to find out what. ¡°Son, what is wrong?¡± My mom steps forward and reaches her arms to me, ¡°You look like you have been crying? Is everything ok? Is Ana ok?¡± ¡°There is no more Ana, mom.¡± ¡°What do you mean there is no more Ana?¡± ¡°We broke it off. We not together anymore.¡± ¡°But why? You guys were so happy together.¡± ¡°She said she can¡¯t be involved with a Marine again.¡± ¡°But she knew you were one.¡± ¡°Yes, that was before I was going to deploy again.¡± My father that has been quiet all this time, suddenly speaks. ¡°Son, don¡¯t worry so much about that. Women are in any case just a distraction.¡± ¡°John! You can¡¯t say things like that.¡± ¡°It is the truth, Mary. Ethan needs his head in the game down there.¡± ¡°Maybe dad is right, mom. I can¡¯t be worrying about if she is ok when I need to focus on staying alive.¡± ¡°Oh, Ethan. Come here.¡± My mom pulls me into one of her infinite hugs. They are so soft and warm and infused by her sweet floral perfume. They are the best. They always used to take the pain away when I was small, and they are doing it now again. Even if it is just for a short while. ¡°I think I am going to go to my room. What was the best day of my life has just turned into something I want to forget.¡± ¡°Ok, Ethan. I will call you for supper.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, mom; I think I am just going to sleep.¡± As I turn to leave the kitchen, my dad softly taps me on the shoulder, ¡°We will see you in the morning, son.¡± ¡°Should I tell Matty to still wake you for training?¡± Now that is a good question. After all that has just happened, do I still want to go through with it? ¡°I don¡¯t know. I will decide in the morning.¡± I make my way to my room. I sit on the edge of the bed and start taking off my buddy. Here I thought all this time that Ana would push me away because of my leg, but instead, she pushed me away so that I could follow my dream that took this leg away in the first ce. Nothing makes sense. Just then, as I take my phone out of my pocket, it buzzes. I look and see a familiar number pop on the screen. ¡°You forgot your clothes.¡± Without thinking clearly, I type the first thing thates to mind. ¡°Keep them, burn them, donate them; I don¡¯t care what you do with them.¡± ¡°There is no damn reason to be rude about it.¡± ¡°Well, there was no damn reason to end our rtionship.¡± ¡°There is a reason.¡± ¡°A damn fucked up one if you asked me.¡± ¡°I am sorry you see my heart as fucked up.¡± ¡°Oh, and what about my heart?¡± ¡°Ethan, I am not having this conversation again.¡± ¡°Then why did you text me?¡± ¡°Urgh. Just leave it. You are impossible.¡± ¡°Bye Isabelle. Just remember that I love you.¡± Oh god. What did I just say? Fuck how do I recall this message? What was I thinking? Did I mean it? Was it the right time to say? Most importantly, what is she going to say? I wait. And wait. And wait some more. She never replies. Iy down on my bed with my phone clenched in my hands. I soon drift off to sleep. Come morning; I hear Matty knocking at my door. ¡°Come in, Matty.¡± ¡°Hey, Bro. Are you still doing this or what?¡± I think back tost night when I told Ana that I loved her and that she never replied. It is obvious; she does not feel the same way. Is it worth fighting for something that will probably never work? I mean, after all, I cannot make her love me back. ¡°You know what, Matty, let¡¯s do this.¡± Chapter 20 What Are Friends For ¡­Ana POV¡­ Did that break my heart? Of course, it did, every second, every minute, and every word I said. I just broke my soldier¡¯s heart and mine into more pieces than what my heart is even made of. But I can¡¯t; I will rather lose him and still be able to bump into him in town than lose him and not being able to bump into him at all. I cannot stare at someone¡¯s ashes and wish that there was more than an urn to hold. I wish he could understand that. But I wish he could also understand that I will not be the woman he gives his dreams up for. Cause he will wake up a bitter man one day and me me for everything that I have taken away from him. I can¡¯t do that to him. The one thing I have learned about time is that it does make things better. He wille to see by the time he deploys that I will be nothing but a faded memory. I want him to be happy. Is that not what sacrifice is all made up of? I know that if it was me, that had to go, that he would do the very same. Of course, he is my soldier, and I will miss him, but this is the best for both of us. It does not mean, though, that it should not hurt like a bitch. He just told me to burn his clothes that bothered me, but what bothered me even more, is what else he said. He said he loves me. I have not heard a man say that in so long. Yes, I loved Mark, but there was a time that it was just not that important anymore. The Marines were everything to him, just like it is for Ethan. But for Mark, it was more; starting a family and settling down was never in his n. I am sitting on the patio with my third ss of wine in my hand. I nearly spill the damn drink all over me as my phone buzzes again. ¡°Hey, Kati.¡± ¡°Hey, Ana.¡± ¡°You phone like you are heaven-sent.¡± ¡°What is wrong, girl? I can hear that you have been crying? Is that soldier giving you trouble?¡± ¡°Oh, Kati, you know me too well. We broke it off earlier today.¡± ¡°What! Why? I thought you told me that you two were solid. What has the boy done wrong that was so bad?¡± ¡°He is deploying again, and I told him that I could not do it.¡± ¡°But what about his leg?¡± ¡°There is this program thing; to be honest, I did not listen. I went nk when that damn word came up again.¡± ¡°Ana, you know what? Put that bottle on ice, for now, I am on my way.¡± ¡°Kati, it is not necessary; I will be fine.¡± ¡°You are not fine, babe; this is not up for discussion; I will be there at the crack tomorrow morning.¡± ¡°Thanks, babe, drive carefully, and I will see you soon.¡± Katarina has been my best friend since we were two little twelve-year-old girls. She has been there for me through everything, from helping me through my first training bra to Mark¡¯s funeral. I honestly don¡¯t know how I will get through this without her. Once I have finished my ss of wine, I decided to call it a night and turn in early for the evening. The next morning at the crack of dawn, I hear Katarina knocking on the front door already. ¡°Come on, sleepyhead, the sparrows are already singing.¡± ¡°Hahaha, I don¡¯t know so much about sparrows singing.¡± ¡°Well, for fuck sure, the is something singing around here. Girl, it is like you live on a big old farm.¡± ¡°Hahaha, it is peaceful out of here. I¡¯d take that sparrow that is singing above old honking any day.¡± ¡°Well, what do you say we take this old honker here, and you take me for breakfast at that cute little ce I saw in town.¡± ¡°Oh god, that means old Maggie.¡± ¡°Hahaha, old Maggie. That sounds fun. Is it something you eat around here?¡± ¡°Hahaha, it is an olddy that runs the flower shop sh paper sh blog. Oh, don¡¯t forget the gossip column as well.¡± ¡°Oooohh let¡¯s give her something to talk about.¡± ¡°Hahaha that is was the soldier said, and look where that got me now.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry; I am not going to kiss you. Unless if you want me to?¡± ¡°Gross. I don¡¯t know where your mouths been.¡± ¡°Hahaha, girl, you don¡¯t want to know. Now get that booty dressed so we can go introduce me to that Betta gal.¡± Katarina puts her things in the guest room while I head to my room to get dressed. She looks me up and down as I step out of my room. I know she has got some wisecrackment to say. ¡°Yeah, girl, that soldier must eat his heart out. Talking about that soldier, you have never shown me a picture of him.¡± ¡°To have you drool over my man, I don¡¯t think so, babe.¡± ¡°Like I would ever take your man.¡± ¡°Do I need to remind you about my prom date?¡± ¡°Oh, that little ident.¡± ¡°Hahaha, I am d you are calling it an ident.¡± I grab my purse and pull her out the door. ¡°Come, we are walking; I think that airy head of yours can use a bit of fresh air.¡± ¡°But my stilettos.¡± ¡°Babe you can navigate those perfectly fine when you are drunk; I am sure a bit of gravel will be like a breeze.¡± Watching Katarina nearly fall almost four times on the way to the main road is the highlight of my morning. Only a day ago, it was Ethan¡¯s messages that were the happy start to my day. I am sure going to miss hearing him call me boo. We hit the corner to the main road, the exact spot where Ethan kissed me that very first time. I can remember how it felt like my toes were almost curling when he was doing those things to my body by just rubbing those sweet soft lips against mine. His hand was resting on my waist, and I swear the touch was so electrifying, it felt like his hand was melting into my skin. That soldier can do things that I know no other man will ever get the chance to again. ¡°Oh god, Katarina, don¡¯t look now, but we are heading for the old gossip girl.¡± ¡°Hahaha hold me now, or I am going to piss my pants.¡± ¡°Katarina!¡±Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org. ¡°What? She looks like something out of a low budget scary movie. Like she cane after you with an iron pan.¡± ¡°Please just be nice to her.¡± We slowly approach Maggie as she is sitting outside her flower shop. For an olddy, she is typing frantically away on herptop. Guess gossiping demands a unique skill set. ¡°Hi, Maggie.¡± ¡°Oh, look. Is this not Ethan¡¯sdy friend?¡± ¡°Yes, Maggie, and this is my friend Katarina.¡± ¡°Hello, dear. Are you also new in town? Oh, don¡¯t tell me you are dating the other Hunter boy. Now that is a handsome child. He likes thedies too much, but he is a nice man and so friendly too.¡± ¡°No, Maggie, Katarina is just here for a visit.¡± ¡°Oh, I see. That is nice. Where is Ethan? Is he still going toe? I want to retake a few photos of him. The girls here are going mad for him. I need more pictures for the centerfold we are going to do of him.¡± ¡°Centerfold?¡± ¡°Yes you know those things you can stick up on a wall. The girls will go crazy for him.¡± ¡°Mmm, I am sure they will. Does he know about this centerfold thing?¡± ¡°Oh, oh yes, yes, he does.¡± ¡°I see. Well, he is not joining us. We took a little break while he is getting ready to go back to the Marines.¡± ¡°Oh? Is he going back to the army?¡± ¡°It is the Marines.¡± ¡°Oh like I said, is he going back to the army?¡± And then Katarina jumps in slightly, getting with Maggie and her continued blunders. ¡°She said, Marines.¡± ¡°Oh, yes. The girls are going to love to hear that.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t these girls have anything better to do than drool over someone else¡¯s boyfriend?¡± ¡°Oh, but Be said they are taking a break so that she won¡¯t mind.¡± ¡°It is Ana. And she does mind. It does not mean that they have broken up.¡± ¡°Oh, but Ethan, don¡¯t mind.¡± ¡°I am sure that ETHAN does mind.¡± ¡°You are quite a feisty one, Trina.¡± ¡°It is KATARINA, and I don¡¯t entertain bullshit. Ana and Ethan would like their privacy; you must tell these girls to find something better to do. I am sure you can give them some knitting sses or even a bingo night once a week.¡± ¡°Katarina!¡± ¡°No, Ana, the man is not a piece of meat. I find it hard to believe he would approve to be some giddy teenager¡¯s pin-up in her bedroom closet.¡± ¡°Well, girls, I will let you two argue that between yourself. I am going to phone Mary so I can go get more pictures of our soldier.¡± ¡°HER soldier. Ana, please let¡¯s go; I don¡¯t feel like messing up my manicure.¡± Katarina pulls me by the arm towards the coffee shop. Only once we have entered and sat down do I finally let it out ¡°Hahaha, you are goddamn terrible.¡± ¡°Damn, the olddy is annoying. Is her hearing aid not working or something.¡± ¡°Maggie is, well, she is just special.¡± ¡°Ya, a special pain in the ass. But who is this other Hunterboy? You never told me that he had a brother?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t even think about it. The body has more girlfriends than he has body parts.¡± ¡°Oooohh that sounds like my kind of man. I know which body part I would like to be. So out with it, show me a picture of these two boys.¡± ¡°Ah sorry to disappoint, maybe next time. You know I am not a big photo girl.¡± ¡°Well, I am here for a couple of days; who knows, I might bump into him.¡± She gives me a cheeky smile and goes on to look at the menu. ¡°Are you ready to order? Or is that a stupid question?¡± ¡°Stupid question. Just give me a few more seconds.¡± I have always been the worst at ordering. Half of the time, I don¡¯t understand what they are serving, and most of the time, I have no idea what I want. So I stare at the menu just as I am doing now. All of a sudden next to me, Katarina bursts out, ¡°Holy mother of mothers.¡± ¡°What? I am almost finished.¡± ¡°No, take your time. I have just seen myself a feast for my eyes.¡± ¡°Babe, what are you on about?¡± ¡°The two hot as f¨¹ck boys have set the cutest asses in the door. God help me cause I swear I can jump them.¡± ¡°Who are you talking about? I don¡¯t know of any hot boys in this town.¡± ¡°Ana, girl, lift your damn head and look at that. God took his sweet ass time in making them.¡± ¡°Hahaha, this I got to see.¡± I slowly lift my head off from the menu ¡°Oh, fuck.¡± Chapter 21 Indestructible I made a fool of myself¡­ It is never easy to say I love you, and when you say it, you better well mean it. You should say what you feel and mean what you say. Tomorrow is not a promise, so you need to say it today. So I decided to take that risk. It was not so much that I was afraid to say I love you; I was more afraid of how she would react. The possibility that she was not going to say it was always there. The thing is that I love her even if she does not love me back. So I have made my decision, definitely for sure this time. I am doing this; I am going back to redeploy. I yed my hand in love, and I failed. I will instead stick to something I know I am good at. It does not mean that my decision does not hurt. My heart is broken, I am broken, and she is broken. Sadly, you cannot have both of your dreams at the same time. If there were a way that I could do both, then I would be right there, taking both with open arms. I am busy getting ready for my run with Matty. I have to put my running prosthetics on this morning, so it takes me a bit longer than it should. Thest time I had these on was when I was in the hospital when I was recovering. It will just be him and me today. Chloe is out with her mother this morning, and Ana, well, she won¡¯t evene. Once I am ready, I make my way outside, where Matty is waiting. ¡°Looking good, bro. I would like me one of those as well.¡± ¡°Hahaha, wait until you fall your ass over for the fifth time, then you won¡¯t be wanting one of these.¡± ¡°Well, let¡¯s see what you are made of then.¡± ¡°Are you ready to try and keep up with me?¡± ¡°Hahaha, I think you are going to be the one that needs to keep up, bro.¡± His words are not even cold, and he is already off ahead of me down the road. ¡°Hey, that is cheating.¡± ¡°It is not my fault; you slow!¡± I catch up with him, and we head down the road that takes us into town. As we get to the main road, my body cannot take anymore. I am aching in ces I did not even know existed, and the prosthetic is hurting my leg. Thest thing I want is for my stump to get blisters again. ¡°Whoa, I think we need to slow down.¡± ¡°Ahhh, don¡¯t tell me you are tired, bro.¡± ¡°I might be wearing a leg of steel, but that does not make me a man of steel.¡± ¡°Hahaha, how about we go grab a coffee then?¡± ¡°And let Maggie get hold of me?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, bro, I will keep the old goose away.¡± We slow our pace down and head straight for the coffee shop. Does this not bring back memories? We are passing the spot where I kissed Ana the very first time. How sweet she tasted as my lips were softly against hers. The way her body perfectly fit into mine. Never has any woman, and I have been with my fair few, never has any woman made me feel the way that she made me feel. She made me feel like I was the only one that existed in that moment and every single moment after that. Even when she found out about my leg, she still made me feel special. Not only special but also wanted, something I never knew I would ever feel. To love a woman so quickly after such a short time is a big deal. It makes me think then, is this something I should do still. Is love not more important than serving your country. Then again, it is the dream that drives me the most. But she is the woman of my dreams; should she not be a dream I should follow, then. Every minute I spent with her will always be remembered. I wish there was more time we could spend together before I leave. Now we are leaving each other angry, and there is still going to be regret. We are at the coffee shop entrance when we spot Maggie eyeing us from across the road at the flower shop. ¡°Oh god, she spotted us. Move your ass in before the bages and stop us.¡± ¡°Hahaha, what makes you think she is not going to get us inside.¡± ¡°Hey, let a man dream.¡± ¡°Dream? That is what got your ass single in the first ce.¡± ¡°Ahhh, thanks, Matty, you just had to remind me of that.¡± I p him against the head¡­ ¡°Aahhh fuck, bro! What was that for?¡± ¡°For being an ass.¡± We enter the coffee shop and look to find an empty table when Matty bursts out loud. ¡°Holy shit!¡± ¡°What did you do now?¡± ¡°Oh, it¡¯s not what I did; it is what I am going to do.¡± ¡°That sounds like trouble; what do you have up your sleeve?¡± ¡°I know what I want up, and it is not up my sleeve.¡± ¡°Fuck Matty, are you talking dirty to me?¡± ¡°Hahaha, no bro. But you got to see what is sitting at that table.¡± He tips his head to the side, trying to show me where I should look at. ¡°Oh, fuck.¡± ¡°Oh, yes.¡± ¡°It is Ana.¡± ¡°And she has a hot friend.¡± ¡°Come, let¡¯s find a table.¡± ¡°No, I say we go say hello.¡± ¡°Have you forgotten about the bit where we have broken up?¡± ¡°It does not mean you can¡¯t say hello.¡± ¡°You know it is a bad idea, but if I can hear her voice, then I will do it.¡± ¡°Bro, you know how bad that sound? That is real girl ass shit .¡± ¡°Hahaha, Matty boy, you will fall in love one day.¡± ¡°Bro, I think I just did.¡± I hide behind Matty as he walks up to her table. God knows why I am hiding; I am pretty sure she has seen me. I can¡¯t face her after all the ugly things I said but even more, because I told her that I loved her. Will she throw her coffee in my face, or is she even going to talk to me? What on earth do I say? Oh, by the way, Ana, how are you doing after I took your heart and stepped all over it. I don¡¯t know if I can do this. But it is toote¡­ ¡°Hey, Ana.¡± ¡°Hello, Matty.¡± ¡°And you remember this asshole that is standing behind me,¡± I p him against his head¡­ ¡°What the fuck now? You are behind me!¡± ¡°Urgh, you an idiot. Hello, boo, shit, sorry, I mean Ana.¡± ¡°Hey, Ethan.¡± Then Katarina speaks as she has figured out who I am, ¡°Oooohhh, you are the soldier. Well, hello, soldier. I am Ana¡¯s crazy friend Katarina.¡± ¡°Hey Katarina, it¡¯s nice to meet you finally. This idiot next to me is my brother Matt.¡± Matty turns his attention back to Katarina as he introduces himself, ¡°Oh, you can call me Matty.¡± ¡°Mmmm definitely will. Why don¡¯t you boys join us for a coffee.¡± Ana immediately objects, ¡°Kati, I think the boys have better things to do.¡± ¡°Yes, Katarina,¡± I add. ¡°We are just going to be in and out.¡± ¡°No, Bro,¡± Matty insists. ¡°I am sure we got a minute, actually a couple few minutes.¡± ¡°I insist we get going.¡± ¡°Well, if you want to deal with Maggie.¡± Just then Maggiees walking in the door¡­ ¡°On second thought, I am sure we can spare more than a couple of minutes .¡± ¡°Yes,¡± Ana says. ¡°Before she grabs you for that centerfold.¡± ¡°Center what?¡± We take our seats at the table. Matt being the ass that he is, makes me sit next to Ana. My hands are trembling as I reach out for the menu. F¨¹ck, I hope she does not see how nervous I am around her. I always used to be, but this is just insane. I don¡¯t even want to try and speak to her cause I will mumble my words. Instead, I listen to Matty and Katarina¡¯s conversation. ¡°So Katarina.¡± ¡°Oh, please call me Kati.¡± ¡°So Kati, how long are you visiting Ana?¡± ¡°Only for a couple of days, but I might stay longer if I am having a good time.¡± ¡°Oh, I think you will have a good time. You should stay for a bit longer. There is a lot that you can do around here.¡± ¡°Mmm, does that sound like an invitation? Are you going to show me what is good to do around here?¡± Then Ana interrupts them. ¡°Kati, you speaking to the town¡¯s bad boy; I am sure he can show you more than what is good around here.¡± ¡°Mmm, like the soldier showed you?¡± ¡°Kati! You can¡¯t say things like that!¡± ¡°Come on, girl, you did not know the boy for a day, and your tongue was down his throat.¡± ¡°It was not down his throat, and he started it.¡± What did she say? That is not how I remembered it. ¡°Oh, but you did not stop me.¡± ¡°It was not like I could stop you.¡± ¡°What? You say that I forced you.¡± ¡°I never said that.¡± ¡°Then what are you saying?¡± ¡°That I did not kiss you.¡± ¡°So was that all fake?¡± ¡°Urgh! I did not say that.¡± ¡°Then what are you saying?¡± ¡°God, you are impossible.¡± ¡°Not impossible enough to love me.¡± Oh shit, did I say that? What is she going to say? Is she going to say something? Is she going to throw that coffee in my face now? ¡°Ana, I am sorry.¡± ¡°Leave it, Ethan, Katarina can we, please go now?¡± ¡°Ana, please wait.¡±Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org. Ana gets up to leave the table. I can see the tears are building up in her eyes. That was hurtful; I don¡¯t know how I could have said that. I can see she is desperately trying to hold it together. Her hands are trembling a bit, and her voice is shaky as she calls for Katarina. ¡°Babe, I will wait for you outside.¡± ¡°I just want to exchange numbers with Matty; I will get you there now.¡± She turns to head out the door. I cannot leave this, not like this, not after I have hurt her again. I get off the table and run after her. By the time I get outside, she is almostpletely across the road. In a blind rush, I dash across the street. I do not pay attention to anything, not the cars, not the voices, especially not to what Ana is screaming. And then¡­ In an instant¡­ Everything around me stops¡­ The only sound I can hear or the movement I can see is my bones crushing and my body dropping down to the floor. In the distance, as my head hits the pavement, I can hear Ana scream. ¡°SOLDIER!!!¡± Chapter 22 Fighting For Second Chances They say that life shes before your eyes when the end is near; well, I say that is bullshit. The only thing I saw shing in front of me was the lights of the car that nearly hit me. It was close, but the car was not the reason I fell; this damn prosthetic leg slipped and gave away under me. But that is not what Ana saw; she saw the car heading straight for me anding to a dead still. Now I am lying on the pavement with a head that is pounding like a b?tch. I swear if it were even possible, my goddamn leg would be broken. The pain shooting from my leg is so intense that I find myself grinding on my teeth. My eyes are still closed as I wait for the world to stop spinning. Then I hear her voice, the voice of an angel. She has lifted my head and ced it on herp. She is sitting next to me on the floor, clinging to me, holding my face in her hands. She is crying; I can hear her voice tremble as she says my name over and over again. ¡°Soldier, please don¡¯t go, please stay with me. Please fight forme, please don¡¯t go.¡± I have never heard the desperation in her voice before. Is she truly that scared to lose me? Just a day ago, I broke her heart, but all she is begging for is for me to stay. ¡°Dammit soldier, you survived a goddamn bomb; what can a poor pissy ass car do to you? You fight dammit, do you hear me! You fight!¡± I want to open my eyes so desperately, but they don¡¯t seem to work for some reason. My head is still pounding and even moving my eyelids seems to hurt. ¡°Soldier, please, I have never asked you much, but I am asking you now to fight. I fucking love you; you can¡¯t go leaving me now. You fight, you hear me, you fight!¡± And that is all I need to hear; I slowly start to flicker my eyes open, adjusting to the bright light bit by bit. She is still on the ground next to me, holding my face in her hands. Her eyes are closed, but I can hear her whisper over and over again. ¡°I love you, I know now I love you, I wish you knew that I love you, you love me and I love you, and now I will never get to say those words to you.¡± There is a pain in her voice, and her tears are dripping on my cheeks. Seeing her like this is tearing my heart into pieces. I do love her, and god knows I never want to be without her. ¡°Boo¡­¡± She opens her eyes suddenly and sits up straight ¡°Soldier! My god, you are alive; I thought you are dead.¡± ¡°Boo, I am fine, just my old fucked up leg that decided to give up on me.¡± ¡°But the car, I saw the car hit you.¡± ¡°No, boo, the car missed me, my leg slipped, and I crashed to the pavement.¡± ¡°So you were alright? For how long where you awake? How much of everything did you hear me say.¡± ¡°Argh, not much. Only the small part where you might have perhaps told me that you love me, but I am not sure, I think you should say it again.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think you hit your head hard enough on the pavement; I never said that.¡± ¡°Mmm, then I must have imagined it but guess what.¡± ¡°No, but I am sure you are going to tell me.¡± ¡°I love you, Ana, you are my boo, and I always want you to be my boo.¡± ¡°But what about your deployment soldier?¡± ¡°Boo, I will give up the Marines for you. I cannot lose you; I see that now.¡± ¡°Soldier, there is a secret I need to tell you, but first, let¡¯s get you home. Matty, can you please help me lift him up, Katarina can you see how fast those stilettos can carry you and go fetch the car.¡± But then Maggie steps in, ¡°Not to worry, dear, I will take you young ones home.¡± The first thing that goes through my mind¡­Oh god, herees driving Miss Daisy ¡°Thank you, Maggie, but please can I ask that you don¡¯t put this in the paper?¡± And let us not forget Katarina, who has grown quite a disliking to Maggie. She is not ashamed to say what she feels like saying. ¡°And while you at it,dy, you can cancel that centerfold.¡± I turn to Maggie with a perplexed expression on my face, ¡°What is this centerfold? What have you been up to now again, Maggie?¡± ¡°Oh, it is nothing, my boy, just the wild imagination of a teenage girl.¡± Then Katarina snaps back at Maggie again, ¡°Mmm wild imagination, my ass.¡± Then you get Matty that always drives the conversation in a different direction, and believe me; I did not hear what he has to say next. ¡°And my wild imagination is all over your ass.¡± ¡°Matty, this is so not the time for that; please help me up, so I can get my clumsy, dumb ass home.¡± But Ana stops him, ¡°Please can youe to my ce, soldier. We still need to talk before you make any rash decisions.¡± Much to my shock, I cannot believe I am asking Maggie, ¡°Will you take us to Ana¡¯s home?¡± ¡°Are you sure? Don¡¯t you need to go see a doctor?¡± ¡°Nah, Maggie, I feel fine.¡± After helping me off the ground and taking my busted leg off, Matty and Ana help me into Maggie¡¯s car. Torture is not the word for it, painful yes. I have never seen anyone go so slow that they can almost go into reverse. She makes a dead stop where no stop is required, and when she has to stop, all she does is go. If that near ident did not kill me, then this definitely will. ¡°Maggie, you do know you are a danger on the road?¡± ¡°What did you say, my boy?¡± And with those wordsing from her mouth, I immediately regret my decision to ask her to take us home. Katarina looks to me and then to Ana; she shakes her head. ¡°Fuck, she can¡¯t drive, and now she is deaf too. Perfectdy to hitch a ride with Ana.¡± Ana bursts out inughter, ¡°Hahaha, would you have instead tested those stilettos out for a run. Soldier here can not even run on his special leg; how is your big ass going to run on those?¡± ¡°You did not just call my ass big.¡± Mattyes in sideways with an inappropriatement directed at Katarina, ¡°I will call that ass anything just as long as it can be mine.¡± ¡°Wow, that is a mouth full of forward,¡± then she turns to me. ¡°Soldier, did he learn all those smooth moves from you?¡± Then Ana hit us all with the biggestment of all, ¡°Get your smooth paws away from my man a y with the boytoy.¡± ¡°Ouch, take that old Matty.¡± Maggie smiles a smile like an olddy does as we all burst outughing. When we get to Ana¡¯s ce, Matty and Katarina head to the deck while Ana helps me into the lounge. ¡°Sit down, soldier, let me look at that leg.¡± She rolls up my shorts and takes her stump into my hands. I have never, apart from the doctors, allowed anyone to touch me like this. I am somewhat nervous and even just a slight bit scared. What if she touches it and cringes from disgust, what if it is too much, what if she only touching it cause she feels she must? What if, what if, what if. What if I am wrong and she does it because she really wants to because she really loves me. I watch her intently; she is running her fingertips slightly over the edge of my stump. It feels heavenly; there is something almost erotic about the way she is doing it. ¡°Is this sore soldier?¡± ¡°. Boo when you touch me like that, then I feel no pain.¡±Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g ¡°Has anyone ever touched you like this?¡± She runs her fingers from the edge of my leg, drawing little circles up my inner thigh. ¡°Mmm, boo, are you trying to seduce a man here?¡± ¡°I was just wondering if you can feel anything.¡± ¡°Trust me; I feel that in more ces than one.¡± ¡°Hahaha let me get you cleaned up before you get too excited over there.¡± She disappears into the kitchen andes back with a bowl of water and a first aid kit. ¡°Do you mind if I do this, or do you want to do it yourself?¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine, boo; I amfortable if you do it, you will probably do it even better than I would.¡± She soaks a piece of cotton wool into the water and dabs it gently on the patches where my skin has scraped off. ¡°Goddamn, that is sore!¡± ¡°Shit soldier, do you want me to stop? Am I hurting you?¡± ¡°No, boo, it is fine; the skin is just more sensitive over there.¡± She continues to clean all around my stump then gently dries it off with a towel. ¡°I only have this ointment. Is that ok to put on?¡± ¡°No, boo, just put a clean dressing around it; I will put some cream on when I get home.¡± She takes my leg once more into her hands and slowly wraps the bandage around my leg. Once she is done, shees and sits right next to me. ¡°Soldier, did you mean it when you said you love me?¡± ¡°There is nothing I mean more in the world, and nothing in the world means more to me than you.¡± ¡°Well, I meant what I said too.¡± ¡°What did you say?¡± ¡°You know, what I said back there in town.¡± ¡°No, I don¡¯t know; I can¡¯t remember you saying anything to me.¡± ¡°Come on, you do.¡± ¡°No, boo, I don¡¯t.¡± ¡°You gotta be shitting me.¡± ¡°No, I am not.¡± ¡°I know what you are doing.¡± ¡°What am I doing?¡± ¡°You want me to say it.¡± ¡°Say what?¡± ¡°Say I love you .¡± ¡°You do?¡± ¡°Urgh! Of course, I do; I love you, soldier.¡± I looked deep into her eyes. The swirls of emotion I see there makes me gasp. Before I could think any further, I pull her into my chest and covered her mouth with mine in a hungry kiss. In the silence that our kiss brings, everything we feelys bare, the passion and the spark of love that exists between us. At this moment, our love feels strong As we pull apart, I take my hand to her face, wrap a stray lock of hair around her ear, and rub my thumb over her smooth lips. ¡°So, what is this secret that you needed to tell me?¡± Chapter 23 Truths Untold To think she loves me. Hearing those wordse from the lips of an angel, puts me in seventh heaven. I will love her in ways that she has never been loved before. For more reasons, she has ever been told. For longer as she will ever remember. For more than she can possibly deserve. I will show her more love than she ever thought existed in me. But now she has a secret. Coming from a man with secrets, secrets are sometimes better left untold. But is this something I would like to hear? ¡°Boo, what is going on?¡± ¡°Soldier, I know how much the Marines mean to you. And I know how much you really want to redeploy.¡± ¡°And I am not going to redeploy if I can¡¯t have you. If you have to ask me tomorrow, then I would say the same.¡± ¡°But you giving up on your dream, and I don¡¯t want you to be giving anything up for me.¡± ¡°Boo you don¡¯t understand. I love you. The Marines are not going to love me; you are going to love me. I don¡¯t care what I need to give up to be with you.¡± ¡°What if you don¡¯t have to?¡± ¡°God, boo, don¡¯t tell me you are breaking things off with us again?¡± ¡°Hahaha. No soldier, now that will just be cruel.¡± ¡°Then what do you mean? The only way I leave here to redeploy is without you, and I don¡¯t want to do it.¡± ¡°Please be honest with me. Are you going to feel sad if you do not go?¡± ¡°I am not going to lie, but it is going to hurt.¡± She is moving around ufortably in her seat. Whatever she needs to tell me is obviously making her feel on edge. What can be so bad that it seems like she can almost burst out crying? ¡°Boo, this is really serious for you?¡± ¡°Soldier, it is just, I never thought that I would have to make this decision again.¡± ¡°What decision, I don¡¯t understand?¡± ¡°Well you know that Mark was also in the Marines?¡± ¡°Uhm¡­ yes, I do.¡± Of course, I do, a whole lot better than she can imagine. The day I finally tell her, she will definitely kick me out. The thing is, how do you even begin to tell someone something like that. I would break her heart all over again when I finally tell her the truth one day. ¡°What I never told you¡­¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°I never told you how I met Mark.¡± ¡°Boo what does that have to do with me?¡± ¡°Just listen, please hear me out.¡± I shift a little closer to her and take her hands in mine. It breaks me to see that she is going through this. It is like she is having an inner battle with herself. I have never seen this look of fear on her face before. What can be so bad that it is causing her to react this way? ¡°Take your time; tell me whenever you are ready.¡± ¡°As I said, I never thought that I had to make this decision again.¡± ¡°What decision? Tell me how you met Mark?¡± ¡°This is the funny thing. I met him at base.¡± ¡°What do you mean by base? Is there a ce called base because the only base I know is base camp, and there is no way they will allow civilians in there?¡± ¡°I mean base camp.¡± ¡°How? How did you get in there?¡± ¡°I was working there.¡± ¡°You are confusing me, boo. What work did you do there? We make it a point to know which women work on base. You know, to protect our fellow soldiers.¡± ¡°I was not a soldier; I worked as a nurse.¡± ¡°What?! You were part of the aid station. But I did not see¡­ I¡­ I mean, why don¡¯t I know it?¡± ¡°I met Mark one day during a routine check-up. You can say we just hit it off. Things heated up between¡­ Sorry, I don¡¯t mean to talk about him like this.¡± ¡°It is fine, boo. So you were part of the nursing staff, and that is how you met Mark on base?¡± ¡°Yes. Like I said, things got very serious, very quickly. Then¡­¡± Her hand is slightly trembling, and I can see tears well up in her eyes. She swallows deep as she inhales before she speaks again. ¡°I¡­ I fell pregnant.¡± I am shocked, but I am also confused. How? Should she not? That is when it hits me. ¡°Oh, boo, I am so sorry. Pleasee here.¡± I pull her closer andy her head against my chest. I can feel how her body is shaking. She is crying freely now. Her sobs are the most painful sound to my ears. I cannot bear seeing her hurt like this, but there is nothing, absolutely nothing I can do to take it away. All I can do is hold her until she gets through this. After another ten minutes, when her heart has gone still, and her tears have dried out, she continues speaking. ¡°So we found out that I was pregnant. I did not want to go, but he begged me to. He told me that he does not want me and my child to be put at risk.¡± ¡°So, you decided to leave?¡± ¡°Yes very much against my will.¡± ¡°And he stayed?¡± ¡°Yes and everything went fine. He came home as often as he could. But then, at twelve weeks, I lost the baby. He stoppeding around; all I got was the asional phone call. Our marriage was practically dead.¡± ¡°I am so sorry, boo.¡± ¡°I wanted to go back so I can be with him, but he kept saying no. So I went behind his back and got myself assigned. But a week before I was supposed to go, they phoned me.¡± ¡°They phoned you to tell you about the ident?¡± ¡°Yes. That was just thest thing that made my world fall apart. And that is how Inded up here in this town; I ran away from everything to make a new start.¡± ¡°Then youe here and meet another soldier. And it just scratches up open wounds.¡± ¡°Soldier don¡¯t ever think of you that way. You are a blessing in my life. You have shown me the determination to be the best I can be, and I am the best when I am with you?¡± But boo, what I don¡¯t understand is you said you did not think you would ever have to make this decision again. What decision are you talking about? ¡°Well, I kind of went and did something silly. Before Katarinagot here, I had an appointment with the doctor in town.¡± ¡°Doctor?¡± ¡°Yes, I went for a check-up.¡± ¡°A check-up for what?¡± I think I am going to faint¡­ ¡°Well, I phoned up that guy that was here, Ray.¡± ¡°Ray, my toon leader? What does my toon leader and a doctor got to do with this?¡± ¡°Oh, soldier, please don¡¯t be mad at me.¡± ¡°Tell me what you did, boo, and I will tell me if I am mad at you? Is there something wrong with you that you had to go to the doctor?¡± ¡°No not at all; he said I am in perfect health.¡± ¡°Okay, you are killing me here; what is the problem then?¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°I am going with you.¡± I think I just fainted in my head¡­ ¡°Coming were with me?¡± ¡°My god, do I need to spell it out for you?¡± ¡°Yes, please, cause the little hamster in my head just fell thef¨¹ck off his little wheel.¡± ¡°Hahaha, that is goddamn funny.¡± ¡°It is not funny keeping a man hanging here.¡± ¡°Soldier when you go to redeploy, I aming with you. Ray signed me up as part of the nursing staff.¡± ¡°Holy fuck! What?!¡± ¡°I aming with you.¡± ¡°I think you need to say that again.¡± ¡°Hahaha, I said I aming with you.¡± ¡°Boo, why?¡± ¡°Because I love you, soldier, and I want to be with you. I don¡¯t want you to give up your dreams after everything you have been through.¡± ¡°Fuck I don¡¯t know what to say. I love you, Ana. I am so damn lucky to have you. I swear I am never letting you go.¡± And now it is my time to start crying¡­ This is not what I thought would happen when she said she had a secret. But I¡¯m certainly not going to object. My arms lock around her neck, and I pull her a little closer. Our lips meet, and I savor the taste of them for just a moment. Our lips begin to move in perfect sync, slowly and cautiously. I exhale through my nose, not wanting to let go. My entire body is taken over by the overwhelming feeling of relief and love. My fingers are tangling in her long, dark chocte hair, lightly pulling her into me, adding more pressure to our lips, and deepening the kiss. Finally, we pull away, and I rest my head on her forehead. ¡°Boo, there is something I need to tell you.¡± Chapter 24 Secrets And Lies Secrets and lies that is what our rtionship has been made up of. To be very honest, not one of the best ways to start a rtionship on. If this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then maybe you should reevaluate your choices. Your choices affect your future, defining moments shape you, and love is what keeps you whole. So make sure you do it right from the start. The thing is, if you tell a lie once, then all your truths are questionable. They say a truth does not cost you anything but a lie will cost you everything. Secrets and lies will kill a rtionship; no matter how careful you are, you are going to get caught. Should there really be any more secrets between us? I mean, is there really a point where you have to bend the truth as far as you possibly can. But is a secret and a lie the same thing? Technically not. But to the person on the other side of this question, they are both equally the same. No matter which way you look at it, I have kept and twisted things from Ana in more than one way or the other for far too long. It is time Ie clean. The consequences I am going to have to take and hope that it does not end off bad. At least if I walk away, I walk away with a clear mind. ¡°Boo, I want to tell you something.¡± ¡°What is wrong, soldier?¡± ¡°I have done something really bad.¡± ¡°What can possibly be worse than what I have just told you?¡± ¡°Oh, believe me, there is something a whole lot worse.¡± ¡°Okay, soldier, let¡¯s hear it then.¡± ¡°I kept a horrible secret from you. Hopefully, you only kick my ass and not leave me this time.¡± ¡°I am so tired of there being this time. I want us to be open and honest with each other.¡± ¡°I feel I just need to say this in case I do not get a chance to say it again.¡± ¡°What do you need to say?¡± ¡°That I love you and that I have never been so damn happy in my entire life as when I am with you. You take what was broken, and you make meplete. You are not only my rock to stand on, but you are the leg I need to stand on that rock.¡± ¡°I love you too, soldier. I might not need a leg, but you give me all the other things that I have beencking in my life.¡± ¡°Like a husband?¡± ¡°I would not say a husband but definitely apanion; you know someone you could spend your life with.¡± ¡°You say this as if you do not see me as someone that can be a husband.¡± ¡°No soldier, don¡¯t get me wrong. I am just saying that I have not given things much thought as to when I will be ready to get married again. Losing someone like that tends to make you scared to do the same things, especially things like getting married.¡± ¡°So, if I was to ask you, then you will say no?¡± ¡°Hopefully, you are not asking me now cause I would say it is the strangest way to go about it. But I don¡¯t think it is what you want to talk to me about, is it?¡± ¡°Well, this is sort of; actually, it is about your husband.¡± ¡°What do you mean? How can this be about Mark?¡± ¡°Yes your husband, Mark Jenkins.¡± ¡°What is going on, soldier? I can¡¯t recall that I told you what hisst name is.¡± ¡°No, you did not; you gave me yourst name, the one you had before you were married.¡± I watch her as she moves around ufortably in her chair. She is no longer holding my hand, and the smile that was on her face has disappeared. She is preparing herself for something terrible but of what she does not know yet. There is no turning back; I am going to have to finish what I have started. If I back down, it will make me worse of a liar than I already am, and I know I will most definitely lose her then I take her small hands into mine and give them a soft squeeze. I gently ce a kiss on her palm theny themfortably down on myp. She gives me a twitch of the lips, which is something short of a smile. When I look into those big brown eyes, I can¡¯t help but think of the pain I am about to put in them again. ¡°Your husband¡¯s toon leader was Lopez?¡± ¡°Yes that is right. He deployed the same time as you did, but you never told me which base you were at? How would you have known that unless if you were at the same base?¡± ¡°We were in the samepany. Evans and Lopez were in the samepany.¡± ¡°Which means at the same base?¡± ¡°Well, normally, it does work like that.¡± ¡°This is not a joke soldier, what is going on?¡± ¡°I think you got your answer already. You see, I knew your husband; we were at the same base deployed at the same time. The only thing is that I never saw you once while I was there, but then again, I did not need a medic during the time you were probably there.¡± ¡°So let me get this straight. You knew who my husband was, and you have not told me about it?¡± ¡°Yes, boo. I only realized who your husband was when you told me his name and what had happened to him.¡± ¡°And you think that only now is a good time to tell me? It¡¯s been how long, and you only say something to me now?¡± ¡°I did not want to hurt you boo, you have been through enough shit for me to remind you about it.¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you let me be the judge about it? How long were you going to keep this from me? Were you actually going to tell me at all?¡± ¡°Boo, please, I thought I was doing the right thing. It is bad enough that I remind you of your husband, and now you know that I knew him too.¡± ¡°You are wrong there, soldier. You don¡¯t remind me of my husband; you remind me of you. Yes, Mark was my husband, and yes, I loved him. But he is dead, and you are alive; I must move on. It is sad what happened to you both, but you are here, and I am here, and for once can the goddamn secrets and lies stop between us.¡± ¡°Does this mean you are not mad at me?¡± ¡°Disappointed but not mad. I mean, the chances of you two know each other was strong. Hell, if I never told you about my ex-husband¡¯s story, then you would have told me.¡± ¡°That is the first time I hear you say that.¡± ¡°Say what?¡± ¡°Ex husband, you never say, ex.¡± ¡°Well maybe one day I would like to call you my husband. So what do you say? No more secrets and lies?¡± ¡°No more secrets and lies, I promise.¡± ¡°Then are we going to do this? Are we going to deploy together?¡± ¡°Fuck boo, what question is that? Of course, I want to do that.¡± ¡°Then I have one more question for you.¡± ¡°And what would that be?¡± ¡°Will youe to stay here with me? We are going to be apart for a lot of days sometimes, so let¡¯s start making the most of it now.¡± ¡°Are you sure, boo? I mean, we have not been together for that long. Are you ready to take a big step like that?¡± ¡°Soldier, I am packing up my life to follow you. Moving in together is baby steps.¡± ¡°Then yes, I want to, I want to take baby steps with you.¡± ¡°Come here, you silly man.¡± I hold my arms open in invitation, and she flings herself into my embrace. She buries her face into the crook of my neck, and we stand like that for a while. It feels like the world has slipped away, and everything has stopped. Being here in the warmth of her arms, I wish that this moment would never end. Everything feels so right and so perfect. We are not alone in this; we are in love together. She looks up to me and talks so soft it is barely a whisper. ¡°Please don¡¯t ever leave me.¡± ¡°Boo, I promise you that I will never leave you; you will never be alone.¡± I press her head against my chest and lightly stroke her long brown hair. ¡°Promise that you will never leave me too?¡± ¡°How are you going to walk if I take your leg away from you?¡± ¡°Hahaha just as long as you don¡¯t take the rock away too.¡± ¡°Hahaha, guess I am never leaving you then.¡± ¡°You know what book.¡± ¡°No soldier, what should I know?¡± ¡°That I love you.¡± ¡°I love you too, soldier.¡±Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g ¡°So, are you ready for this? Can we do this?¡± Chapter 25 Grab It With Both Hands As a young child, we all have dreams; at the tender age of even seven, a child can tell you what he wants to be the day he grows up. It might change several times over the years, but the principle stays the same, you still have a dream. In a way, we never grow up; we are always aiming higher and bigger but yet we still dream. I am not one that needs to remind you what it feels like to have a dream taken away from you. So when I heard that I could have my dream back, I did not hesitate to grab it with both hands. The best part of this yet is that I will have Ana by my side, walking this path with me step by step. I am scared that if I close my eyes for a minute too long, all of this was a real dream in my head. Sitting here with her next to me, I feel that I need to hear it again. God, I hope that my ears were not deceiving me. ¡°Boo, please tell me again. I am so afraid I have fallen asleep and have dreamt this impossible dream.¡± ¡°Soldier, I aming with you. I am leaving this small little town with you hand in hand in four week¡¯s time.¡± ¡°Do you have any idea how much I love you, Ana?¡± ¡°If it is half as much as I do you, then it is a whole damn much.¡± ¡°Now more than ever, I am so happy that this old stump made me so tired that day that I had to sit down on that rock.¡± ¡°And if I were not creeping around, I would have never met your sweet ass.¡± ¡°Oh, now my ass is sweet? What happened to being sexy?¡± ¡°I do not want to go around and give you a big head now.¡± ¡°Yeah, because we already know that I have a really big one.¡± ¡°Soldier! I was not referring to that. Now get your head out that gutter, and let us go tell Matt and Katarina the good news.¡± ¡°I must warn you, boo. I think Matt has got a thing for Katarina.¡± ¡°Oh, trust me, soldier, I know she has one for him too.¡± We find Matt and Katarina sitting outside on the deck. Now, if flirting were an illness, then I¡¯d say these two werepleted riddled with sickness. To say that Matt is showing any restraint would be a in out lie. ¡°Do you two want us toe backter?¡± I am the first to ask as we approach them from behind. ¡°Yes, you seem to be kind of busy over there,¡± Ana adds. Katarina snaps her head in our direction as we startle them. ¡°Matt was just showing me his tattoos.¡± ¡°Aahhh,¡± Ana says. ¡°Is that what you call it these days.¡± ¡°No, seriously, I was only showing her my tattoos,¡± Matt jumps in to exin. ¡°Yes, Matty,¡± I pat him on the back. ¡°Like I have not heard that one yet.¡± Then out of frustration, Katarina tries to change the subject away from them. ¡°Let¡¯s forget about us. Why are you two lovebirds so happy?¡± ¡°Well, we got some great news,¡± I start to say. ¡°Shit, bro,¡± Matt interrupts me. ¡°Don¡¯t tell me your horny ass has gone and knocked Ana up.¡± ¡°Damn Matty, what the hell is on your mind?¡± And out ofplete nowhere, Katarina says, ¡°Well, what is more than exciting having sex?¡± But Ana looks at her in utter shock. ¡°Katarina! Really?¡± ¡°What?¡± I immediately stop the way this conversation is heading in. ¡°No one is knocked up. Well, at least I hope not?¡± I look over to Ana with pleading eyes. Not that I would not want to happen. It would just be that she can¡¯t deploy then. ¡°Boo?¡± ¡°Hahaha, don¡¯t worry, soldier. I don¡¯t think we at that stage yet.¡± I look on over to Matt and see the frustration on his face. ¡°Then out with the happy news then.¡± ¡°Well, my boo here, she ising with me when I redeploy.¡± ¡°Damn, bro, you are one lucky dog.¡± ¡°Hahaha, I am lucky but not quite a dog.¡± ¡°Hey, you not even home for two months, and you got a girl, and you deploying again. I¡¯d say you are damn lucky there Then Ana looks at Matt with a wicked smile on her face. I know that she is up to something, and I am sure we are about to find out. ¡°Well, maybe you can get lucky too, Matty. I think Katarina will enjoy staying here.¡± ¡°I will?¡± Katarina asks. ¡°Since when am I staying here?¡± ¡°Since I just asked you now. You always said you want to get away from your horrible city apartment. So why note keep old Mattpany here?¡± ¡°Mmm, now that is a tough bargain. Stay in the city or get me a good old town folk boy?¡± I watch as Matt¡¯s eyes grow wide, and there is excitement that sets on his face. There is a wicked smile that creeps in from underneath his smile. ¡°Don¡¯t know so much about the good there. But I am sure an old town folk boy. So when are you guys leaving, bro?¡± ¡°Four weeks, maybe even a bit earlier. It depends when I need to go through the evaluation board.¡± ¡°Well, you know what you are going to have to go do now?¡± ¡°Yes, and I am so dreading that one now.¡± Then Ana looks at me with somewhat confusion. ¡°What, soldier? Did I miss anything here?¡± ¡°I am going to have to let mom cry. She did not know it was for certain, but it has be a reality now.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, soldier. I think your mom will be happier to know that I aming with you ¡°I know boo, I know she will.¡± We spend the rest of the day on the deck sharing stories of a time that we were all a lot more carefree and not having much responsibility to carry on our shoulders. Soon the evening draws close, and Matty and I decide to sleep over; tomorrow, I will be moving in. I will save the exciting news for mom and dad at breakfast Back in Ana¡¯s room, we both are lying on the bed, just staring at each other. There is pure happiness in our eyes. I have never felt such an amazing feeling in my life before. We are young and in love and got the entire world ahead of us. I wrap my arm around her tiny waist. I pull her closer until there is barely a distance of an inch between our bodies. My thumb is softly caressing her cheek as I whisper ¡°I love you, Ana Jenkins.¡± ¡°Oh, soldier, you have no idea how much I love you too.¡± Her eyes are gazing into mine like she was looking far beyond into my soul. I stare back at her beautiful brown eyes that glimmer like the stars in the sky. ¡°Thank you, boo.¡± ¡°For what soldier?¡± ¡°For doing this for me, for giving up your life to be with me.¡± ¡°Who says I am giving anything up? Have you ever thought that maybe it is you that is my life?¡± I look down at her lips, and she knows what I am about to do. I so desperately want to im those lips. I look back at her eyes; there is a softness in them. Although her eyes are soft, I notice all the feelings behind them, as if she is longing for something. I touch my forehead against hers, and I feel a warmth. One that I¡¯ve never experienced before. It fills my body, from head to toe, invigorating me and filling me with a passion and a hope that is so powerful. Gentle but passionate, I press my lips into hers. The world around me slows; I want to bein this moment forever. My heart flutters, and she kisses me back. Her lips are soft and warm. She puts his hand on the back of my head, pulling me even closer. We pull back and smile. Iy my head on her shoulder, and even though I¡¯m filled with the warmth from the kiss, I still shiver. ¡°Are you cold, soldier?¡± ¡°No, boo, I am just very happy.¡± We fall asleep in each other¡¯s arms. Even though we might not be able to experience this every night, the mostfort I will have is that not one of us will be alone Breaking the news to mom and dad the next day goes off far easier than I thought it would. Mom does not cry as I thought she would, and dad has never been more proud. The next three weeks go by quicker than we thought. My training goes very well, and I am fitter than I have been in months. Ana is there with me every single day, motivating me to do my best. Then finally, the day arrives. We are leaving today for me to go be evaluated by the board. In a week¡¯s time, we will deploy. We are all standing at the bus stop saying our goodbyes My mom is holding me so tight in her arms that I feel like I am struggling to breathe. ¡°Oh, my boy, I am going to miss you so much. I know you have to, but I just wish we had a little more time with you.¡± ¡°Mom, we wille to visit whenever we can.¡± My father looks at my mom only but shaking his head. ¡°Mary, the boy is not immigrating; he ising back.¡± ¡°Oh shut up, John, you know what I mean.¡± Once I am finally out of her grip, I give a very reluctant father, a big old man hug. ¡°I am so damn proud of you, my son. Who gives a damn if you did not be a doctor.¡± ¡°I am going to take that one as apliment, dad.¡± ¡°Well, bro, I am going to miss you.¡± Matt steps forward and pats me on the back while Katarina pulls Ana in a big girl hug. ¡°I am going to miss you, girl. You look after her soldier! Matt pulls Ana, and much to my surprise hugs her. ¡°Gonna miss you, sis.¡±Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org. Then my mom hugs Ana. ¡°Yes, Ana, me and John is going to miss that sunshine smile on your face.¡± ¡°I am going to miss you too, Mary and John.¡± But what my dad says shocks me right .¡± ¡°Really, dad? That is a bit forward, don¡¯t you think?¡± ¡°Oh hush, Ethan, no ordinary woman will give up what this girl is doing.¡± ¡°I know, that is why I love her so much.¡± The buses driving up the road andes to a stop next to us. It is real now. As I watch Matty load our bags on, I know it is real. This is what we have been working for a month; this is what I have been dreaming for. This is my life. This is what makes meplete. This is my dream We say our final goodbyes and board the bus. Hand in hand, we walk towards the back and take a seat next to each other. We watch as the bus slowly starts pulling away and see our family and friends disappear until they look nothing but like ants I turn to Ana, and she has the very same tears as what I have in my eyes. ¡°Are you ready for this, boo?¡± ¡°Stop the bus!¡± Chapter 26 Inches Of Doubt The bus was near inches away from driving out of town, and Ana has asked the driver to stop. To say that I am not scared for what is about to happen would be a tant lie. Has she at this veryst second gone and changed her mind? But the driver does as she asks, and he pulls the bus over to the side and stops. The doors are not even open yet, and she is dashing outside. The tremble in her hands is so bad that they are clearly visible. I don¡¯t know what, but something has got her spooked. I move closer to her but very slow, for I know not to cramp her space when she is having what she calls a panic attack. Not truly a real one in the sense of the word. It is just she prefers her space when she needs a moment to think for herself. ¡°Boo, are you okay? What is wrong?¡± ¡°Soldier, are we making the right decision?¡± ¡°I think we are. Do you think otherwise?¡± ¡°I am scared we are going to lose each other. My heart won¡¯t take being without you.¡± ¡°We are not going to lose each other. We will see each other almost every day.¡± ¡°What if you have to go out on a mission? What will I do?¡± ¡°I won¡¯t go out on any missions; you know the board won¡¯t clear me to do that.¡± ¡°I am just scared, soldier. We don¡¯t know what it is going to be like out there.¡± ¡°That is why we have got each other, boo. I won¡¯t let you do this alone.¡± ¡°Soldier, I don¡¯t know if I can do this.¡± ¡°You know that you don¡¯t have to do is. You should not do something for me just to make me happy. Do this for you, because you want to do this.¡± She starts pacing up and down the pavement, kicking little stones as she goes. I can see by her furrowed brows that she is thinking deeply. This is the woman I love; I will not allow her to make a mistake like this. Who knows the long-distance thing might work, but what won¡¯t work for me is forcing something on her that she does not feelfortable with. I let her pace for a few moments longer and then make my way over to her. She looks at me, and I see the tears drowning her deep brown eyes. Her whimpering is soft, but to me her pain is clearly visible. I wrap my arms around her shoulders and pulled her close, gently rubbing her arms. Despite the heaviness in her heart, I feel her sink into the warmth of my embrace. Just for this moment, by this touch, everything somehow seems clearer; our future seems a little less bleak. ¡°Soldier?¡± ¡°Yes boo?¡± ¡°Promise you won¡¯t leave me there. Please promise me we will be okay.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know what is going to happen down there, but I promise you that I will always make sure that you are safe.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not safety I want; it is you.¡± ¡°You got me boo, I promise you that I am yours no matter what.¡± ¡°Well, I guess let us get our asses back on that bus then.¡± ¡°Before we do, I just want to tell you something.¡± ¡°What is wrong?¡± ¡°Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to tell you how much I love you.¡± ¡°I love you even more soldier.¡± ¡°Nah, can¡¯t be more than me.¡± ¡°You want to bet?¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you rather show me.¡± Just as I am about to pull Ana into a passionate kiss, I hear an old familiar voice shouting my name. ¡°Ah Ethan my boy, I thought you guys were leaving today.¡± ¡°Yes Maggie, we are. Can you not see the bus?¡± ¡°Oh, the bus, yes. I thought you two lovebirds might have had second ideas.¡± ¡°It¡¯s thoughts Maggie, second thoughts.¡± ¡°Oh, so you have second ideas. But why?¡± ¡°I said it was thoughts, and no, we do not have.¡± ¡°I see, then why are you standing here. Is there something wrong with the bus? Do you want me to give you a ride?¡± ¡°God no! I don¡¯t think you are licensed to drive that far.¡± ¡°I can always slip the driver a twenty.¡± ¡°Maggie why would you want to bribe the driver?¡± ¡°Oh is that what that means. Then why don¡¯t you kids just say it? You do say the weirdest things sometimes.¡± ¡°Maggie, I think it is you that say the weirdest things sometimes. But if you will excuse us now, we have to go.¡± ¡°You sure you don¡¯t want me to drive you?¡± ¡°Hell no, I do want to get there alive.¡± ¡°What did you say?¡± ¡°I did not say anything; you must be hearing things Maggie.¡± ¡°Well, you kids must have fun by the soldiers.¡± ¡°It is Marines, and we will try to y nice with the other soldiers.¡± ¡°That is good; now if you must excuse me, I want to go write this interview down.¡± ¡°What?! We were just talking.¡± Ana wraps her tiny hand around my wrist and pulls me back onto the bus. ¡°Come, soldier the olddy is going to give you a heart attack.¡± A few secondster, the driver pulls out of the little old town and start heading to our new home at Camp Pendleton. We will be living at Camp Pendleton for the first week or two while I go through the review board. Then after that, we deploy off to hostile country. It is not the first weeks that scare us the most but the weeks after that. This will also be the times that we won¡¯t see each other so often. But we both have faith that Ray will be able to work us around that. For most of the bus ride she is sleeping; the worry of losing me weighs down on her heavy. I know that every bit of this reminds her of her husband, and her fear of this happening again is very real. But still, here she is following me to God knows where. She is the love of my life, and thest thing I want to do is disappoint her. This has to work; if not then I will make it work. For us, for our future. Much closer to our destination, I can feel her stir from where she is resting her head on myp. Slowly she flutters her eyes open and smiles at me. ¡°Hey sleepy head.¡± ¡°Hey soldier. Are we there yet?¡± ¡°Only about another half an hour or so.¡±Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org. ¡°I almost slept the whole bus trip; why did you not wake me?¡± ¡°Mmm¡­cause I know how grumpy you get when someone tries to wake you.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t get grumpy.¡± ¡°Then you just mumble in angry words.¡± ¡°You better take that back.¡± ¡°Guess I have to; there is not far I can run on this bus.¡± ¡°So soldier, tell me are you excited?¡± ¡°Yes somewhat, what excites me more is that you are here.¡± ¡°Where is Ray going to meet us?¡± ¡°At Camp Pendleton. He will meet up with uster this evening. Gives us some time to unpack and rx.¡± ¡°Mmm¡­so I am going to y domestic housewife for a few days.¡± ¡°Uhm¡­ you say wife?¡± ¡°Ohe on soldier, don¡¯t tell me that you don¡¯t want to marry me?¡± ¡°I just¡­ I have¡­ wow that is something a man does not think about that often.¡± She bursts outughing and smacks me on the arm. ¡°Only kidding soldier.¡± Somehow I think that she truly ain¡¯t kidding at all. But are we at that point in our rtionship yet? Not by a long shot. But then when are you ever really ready to take such a big step. All I know is if we ever do, it has to be for all the right reasons. Right now I think we are more scared of losing each other than anything else. I am quickly taken away from my thoughts as we drive up to the gates at Camp Pendleton. Big on the side is therge wall saying ¡°Marine Corps Base.¡± Excitement boils over; after months of torture and endless amounts of hope, I am finally home. ¡°Boo we are here!¡± ¡°Wow, this ce is big; I did not think it would be so big. I mean I have seen pictures, but this is just amazing.¡± ¡°Camp Pendleton is one of thergest Marine Corps bases. You and Mark were at Camp Lejeune?¡± ¡°Yes, but we met only after we deployed.¡± ¡°Well I honestly prefer Camp Pendleton over Lejeune. You are going to like it here.¡± Just as we step off the bus, we are met by a young man dressed as one of the new recruits, ¡°Afternoon Sir, my name is Ricky. Sergeant Evans asked me to see you to your home.¡± ¡°Afternoon, Ricky, thank you. This here is Ana.¡± ¡°Afternoon Mam. Please let me carry your bags.¡± After loading our bags, Ricky takes us off to where we will be staying. Our home is Nothing out of the ordinary fancy; it is a two-bedroom duplex style home in the Del Marmunity. Ana loves it immediately; she can barely contain her excitement as she rushes through the front door. It warms my heart to see that she is starting to feel morefortable with the situation. After exploring every corner of our new home, we finally manage to do the unpacking. Both of us are too excited to even think about getting some sleep. A few hourster as the sun starts setting, Ray arrives. ¡°Evening you two. I see you have settled. I hope you like the ce; it was the only I could find on such short notice.¡± ¡°Oh, I absolutely love it,¡± Ana says as she thanks Ray. ¡°Yes,¡± I add. ¡°I don¡¯t think I have ever seen a woman so happy over four walls and a roof. ¡°Hahaha,¡± Ray says as he steps back away from Ana. ¡°Now, if it were my misses I would have gotten a p.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± Ana turns to me. ¡°Believe me he is going to get pped.¡± Once we are all seated in the lounge, I ask the most important question of the hour. ¡°So what happens next?¡± I see a look on Ray¡¯s face that I am all to familiar with. ¡°We have a slight problem.¡± Chapter 27 The Bigger Picture If a Marine tells you that you have a problem, then you better know that you either run or something really big is about to happen. By the looks on Ray¡¯s face, it is not the sort of problem I am running away from this time. We have just almost settled in what will be our new home for much of our foreseeable future, that is when we are not out somewhere on a mission. The excitement has now somewhat died after Ray¡¯s announcement. As I know Ray well, he is not a man to beat around about it; he says it as he sees fit. I need not ask him once, and he will be honest. ¡°So what is the problem?¡± ¡°Well, your evaluation is in a few days; I will still let you know of the exact time. But there is a slight problem.¡± ¡°What is the problem?¡± ¡°Are they not going to allow me to deploy?¡± Ana sees disappointment building in my eyes. She reaches over and locks her fingers around mine, and pull me closer. There is a visible tremble in my voice as I speak. Are my dreams about to be taken away? We havee this far; is it all going to crash down on me? This time I don¡¯t think I will make it out sane to the other side. ¡°Has the evaluation board changed their mind?¡± ¡°No, Ethan, I have changed my mind.¡±Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org. ¡°What¡­ what do you mean you have changed your mind? Why will you let use all this way for no reason? I don¡¯t understand, Ray.¡± And as I say this, Ana sees the pain start to creep over my face. She has no hesitation in speaking her mind. ¡°Sorry for being a bit forward but is that just not in insensitive. I mean, you give the man a dream, and then you rip it away.¡± Ana slides her arm around my waist and pulls closer to me. I can hear her breaths are just as heavy as what I am breathing. The only thing is she is mad, while I am disappointed. I might be a big muscled man, but I sure feel like crying like a little boy right now. I feel the tears threaten to sting my eyes, and I lower my head down, facing the ground. ¡°Excuse me,¡± Ray apologizes. ¡°I have never been good with words. What I am trying to say is yes, you are still being deployed, but¡­¡± ¡°Are you breaking us apart?¡± Ana says as I watch the tears to start building in her eyes. ¡°The deal was Ie, and he stays. You can¡¯t go back on your promise now. You promised me that we would stay together.¡± ¡°What is going on, Ray?¡± I slightly start raising my voice out of frustration. ¡°You have always been a straightforward guy, so please do not beat around the bush.¡± Ray clears his throat and shows us both to take a seat. This man is ufortable; he is not a man that ever is; he has either messed something up or is about to change his ns. I have been with him for many years; whichever he has done or is about to do, he would not if he did not have a good reason. ¡°The thing is Ethan,¡± Ray begins to exin. ¡°You are not going to be part of the battle operations anymore.¡± ¡°Then, what am I going to do then? I mean, this is why I am here, to be out there. I am not sitting behind a desk and push a pencil the whole day. I signed up to be a marine, not a damn filing clerk.¡± ¡°Whoa, son, rx. You are going to be out there, and yes, Ana, you are going together. The thing is¡­..¡± ¡°Ray what have you done?¡± I look at Ray, and I know what he is going to say; what he is going to say is something that Ana is not going to like to hear. Now the thing is, am I going to say yes? ¡°I want you to be a squad leader.¡± ¡°What!!!¡± Ana screams out so loud; I swear I can hear the windows vibrate. ¡°Did you just say, squad leader?¡± ¡°Yes, the board will clear you to go out into the field. They have tracked your performance and are impressed with what you have delivered.¡± To say that I am not shocked would be a tant lie. I had a feeling, but now the feeling has been confirmed real. How is this even possible? One minute I thought, I am not going, but now I am going for really real. ¡°I think someone needs to p me, for I am sure I am imagining things. Did you just say, squad leader? Like, go out into the field? Like on a mission? Like seriously go out for real.¡± ¡°Yes, Ethan,¡± Ray says as heughs at the shock that is still on my face. ¡°Like seriously go out for real.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know what to say, Ray.¡± ¡°Say, you will do it. You are the best that I have got. I need you out there, Ethan.¡± ¡°I¡­ I need to discuss this with Ana. Can I let you know by tomorrow?¡± ¡°Of course. Take your time. Now, if you two will excuse me, I still have a lot to arrange before we leave.¡± I get off my chair, leaving Ana sitting behind, still in clear shock. Ray makes his way to the door to leave, and I shortly follow behind. Before he goes through the door, he turns to me. ¡°Ethan.¡± ¡°Yes, Ray.¡± ¡°I know you will make the right choice.¡± ¡°I hope that I do, but I will speak to you tomorrow and tell you all about it.¡± As I stand in the doorway for a few minutes too long, all of a sudden, I feel two cold hands make their way underneath the back of my shirt around to my stomach. ¡°What are you, doing boo?¡± ¡°Just feeling my fingers through the crevices of your stomach.¡± ¡°You say crevices? Is it those type of crevices that you would like to get lost in?¡± ¡°Mmm, maybe.¡± ¡°Are you trying to seduce me, boo?¡± ¡°Oh, soldier, I don¡¯t need to seduce you. All I need to do is ask.¡± ¡°Then what are you trying to ask me, boo?¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t we get out the doorway before we give our new neighbors something to talk about.¡± ¡°Then I insist that we stay in the doorway.¡± She grabs me by the back of my pants and pulls me into the house. I know what she is doing; she is trying to take my mind away from what we need to discuss. But for now, I am notining as she pulls me towards the room. ¡°I see one of us has a lot of energy left from sleeping so much on the bus.¡± ¡°You have neverined before. Are youining now, soldier?¡± ¡°Depends what you have in mind, boo?¡± ¡°Well, you will just have to wait and see.¡± She goes to sit on the edge of the bed. ¡°Come here, soldier.¡± She slides her fingers between the fabric of my pants and the soft, delicate skin of my stomach. She crunches her fingers into the seems and starts pulling me closer. ¡°What are you doing, boo?¡± My voice is barely a whisper. ¡°Take your shirt off, soldier.¡± I grab the back off my shirt and pull it over my head, tossing it to the corner ¡°Can you remember the very first time I saw these,¡± she runs her fingers over my rippled abs. ¡°I can recall clearly; I think I might have ran away from you that night.¡± ¡°Are you going to run away from me tonight?¡± Her voice is yful, but I know she is serious. What do I say to the love of my life? How do I convince her that I am going nowhere but stay by her side? ¡°You know that I will love you forever, boo?¡± ¡°To infinity and beyond?¡± ¡°Yes boo, to infinity and beyond.¡± In less than thirty seconds, she has undone my belt and dropped my pants down to the floor, ¡°Can I take it off?¡± ¡°I think you just did.¡± ¡°Hahaha, not your pants, silly.¡± ¡°Oh, my leg.¡± ¡°I promise I won¡¯t hurt you.¡± ¡°Boo, I don¡¯t think you can hurt me even if you tried.¡± I slowly step out of my pants, kick it off to the side and take a seat next to her on thebed. She looks at me and smiles, ¡°You sure?¡± ¡°Yes, boo, very sure.¡± She slowly stands off from the bed and kneels next to my leg on the floor. She has never done this before but has seen me do this every night for the past month. She gently lifts up and straightens my leg; her soft touch sends a shiver through my body. The idea of her touching me in such an intimate way slightly ignites my arousal. She stops and looks at me for a second from underneath her dark eyshes. ¡°Am I doing okay?¡± ¡°Yes, you doing perfect, boo.¡± She then depresses the release button with her slightly trembling hands. Gently and slowly, she starts moving my prosthesis a little from the remaining part of my leg, and then she releases the button. ¡°Am I still okay?¡± ¡°You are doing it better than I do.¡± She chuckles at my silly remark and continues to take off my leg. She slowly pulls my prosthetic socket from my leg andys it next to me on the bed. ¡°Did I hurt you?¡± ¡°It felt like an angel touched me.¡± Shees to stand between my legs, her eyes seeking thefort of mine. I lock my arms around her neck and pull her face closer to mine. Then I softly whisper ¡°Kiss me, boo.¡± She presses her lips against mine and kisses me deeply. Her hand rests below my ear, and her thumb is caressing my cheek. She runs her fingers down my spine, pulling me closer until there is no space left between our bodies. The kiss goes on and on; it is a kiss between two lovers, full of fire and passion and only meant for each other.¡± ¡°We slowly pull apart and look deep into each other¡¯s eyes.¡± ¡°Soldier.¡± ¡°Yes, my boo?¡± ¡°Are you going to be the squad leader?¡± Chapter 28 What Lies In A Decision What has just happened? It feels like the past hour has been a blur. Ray shows up here and knocks mepletely out with some incredible news. But somehow, I know it was not incredible for Ana too. The way her voice vibrated through the room clearly showed that she was utterly shocked. I cannot me her; if it were me, I would have reacted exactly the same. To be honest, I am not sure what I want to do either. Not even a month ago, I was told I could deploy but only be part of the Battle Opps, and now, well, now I hear I can be a squad leader too. What does a man do? But since we are in this together, this is a choice that we both need to make. ¡°Boo, tell me what you are thinking.¡± ¡°Soldier, I don¡¯t know. This¡­ this is rather big. I mean, this is why we are here, is it not?¡± ¡°Yes, but I am not supposed to be going out in the field; that was never part of the n.¡± ¡°You more than anyone knows that ns change.¡± ¡°This is a big change, boo; we won¡¯t be together like we hoped we would.¡± I fall down onto the bed next to where she is lying. I look into her eyes to find the truth in them that she is hiding. But what I find is nothing; she does not seem sure about this either. Do I really want to leave her behind like this? I will not truly leave her behind; I just will go out on a mission more often. I will stille back to her every time; it is just the risk thates with it is far more greater. I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, and she smiles. She is looking for the very same look in my eyes, but I am not giving it away either. It is hard hiding all the fear and excitement. I am scared to feel without knowing what she is feeling. We both stare at the roof, taking deep breaths. It takes a while before either of us speak again. ¡°Soldier, do you know where we are going yet?¡± ¡°To Korea boo, Ray told me this afternoon.¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. She once again goes quiet. I know that a million thoughts are running through her head. I can¡¯t tell her everything is okay cause we all know that I would just be lying. Hostile country, no matter where you go, is still not safe. The dangers might be different, but the risks are the same. ¡°Soldier, do you want to go out to grab something to eat. We can think about thister again.¡± ¡°Sure, boo, think it be nice to have a distraction for a few hours.¡± We both have a long warm shower together, just spending every single minute we can get together. A week wille past far faster than one can even imagine. I know she is very fragile right now, and I want to do everything just tofort her. It takes us another while for us to dress before we feel that we are finally ready to go. We opt to go to a nearby local hangout. I use toe here a lot when I was stationed here before. I think getting between other Marines again will make this feel more real and make use to a better decision. When we get to the pub, I pull her into my arms and really squeeze her. She looks up at me with those big brown eyes. ¡°Boo, please look at me.¡± ¡°Yes, soldier?¡± ¡°I love you, no matter what we decide; I love you.¡± ¡°Oh, soldier, I love you. I know we will make the right decision.¡± ¡°Nowe, I think you need something strong to drink.¡± We head into the pub that is packed to the walls. I have not seen so many Marines in one ce in a while. It is not long until I spot two familiar faces in the crowd. First, I walk up to greet Gibbs. ¡°Look what the cat has dragged out.¡± ¡°Hahaha, should it not be in. How are you doing, Hunter?¡± ¡°I can¡¯t say better now that I have seen you. I am doing absolutely great, Gibbs.¡± The guys jump up at me as Ie to stand at their table. We all do our mighty man hugs and a few ps on the backs. ¡°I heard you were deploying with us?¡± Gibbs asks. ¡°It is good to have you back, man.¡± ¡°Believe me; it is even better to be back. Now you guys better behave around this lovelydy.¡± ¡°Are you already snogging the nurses?¡± ¡°Hahaha, yes, I actually am. Ana here is deploying with us.¡± ¡°That is just wrong man, why can you take your girl with? I think I need to have a word, Evans.¡± Then the other soldier, Williams, speaks, ¡°Well, are you two going to stand there or have a seat with us. We still have a week to go; old Ray won¡¯t mind if we have a few tonight.¡± We find two empty chairs close by and pull them closer. Gibbs and Williams served under me in myst mission and were also two of the guys that were also held prisoner. We havee to a long road together; seeing them like this has just made me more excited. ¡°So Hunter,¡± Gibbs starts. ¡°Are you ready to deploy? You must be beyond yourself?¡± ¡°Must say I am a little nervous.¡± ¡°But you are in tip-top shape, man.¡± ¡°Might be, but the mind is still in two different ces.¡± ¡°And Ana,¡± Gibbs turns to face her. ¡°You say you are a nurse? What do you think of your man bing a squad leader?¡± ¡°Well, we have not really decided on that one yet, but I just want the soldier to be happy ande home in one piece.¡± I cannot help andugh at her, ¡°But boo, I already have a piece missing.¡± Ana balls her hands into a tiny little fist and punches me as hard as she can. I pull her chair a little closer so I can rest my hand on her leg. This is the little moments that I am going to miss ¡°So,¡± I turn to speak to Williams. ¡°What do you think about camp?¡± ¡°Not looking forward to the weather, going from hot to cold so fast. And don¡¯t forget camp turning into a mud pit after the rain.¡± ¡°Hey, it is like a big family camping trip.¡± ¡°Only this trip is in a hostile country.¡± ¡°But this is what we train for; this is why we be Marines.¡± Ana squeezes my hand that is still on her leg. When she looks at me and smiles, I see her with a real smile on her face. She knows how much this means to me. It means so much that she will be here with me and support me like this. She has made such a sacrifice to follow me, the man that she loves. How can I even make this up to her? Then out ofplete nowhere, she shocks me with her words. ¡°You guys are right; Hunter here will make a great squad leader. I think he would be foolish not to take the offer.¡± ¡°Boo, but¡­¡± ¡°I know, soldier, we have not made a decision, but that look in your eyes when you talk about being a Marine, tells me that this means more to you than anything. This is what you live for.¡± ¡°Boo?¡± ¡°Yes, I want him to be happy.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± ¡°Sshhh, soldier. Let us drink a drink to that.¡± We all cheer our sses to a decision she had obviously made. But this is a decision that I should have a part in. I will not argue with her in front of the guys. I can¡¯t ept it just like it is We sit far into the night having drinks and swopping stories;e close to midnight, we make the walk back to our new home. Before we go inside, I stop her on the steps ¡°Boo, can we please talk before we go to bed?¡± ¡°Sure we can, soldier.¡± I pull her down to take a seat next to me outside on the stairs. I look above to the sky at the millions of stars that stretch into infinity. That is when it hits me; I know what to do. I know how to always have us bond together even though we are apart. ¡°Boo, Did you really mean that you are okay if I be a squad leader?¡± ¡°Yes, I did; this is important to you. I want you to be happy; I want to make you happy. If you do not do what you dream of, then one day you will hate me.¡± ¡°I can never hate you. What about you being happy? That is important too.¡± ¡°Being with you is what makes me happy. You gave me hope in love when I never thought I would love again. As long as I don¡¯t lose you, then I am happy.¡± I take a moment to catch a breath. I cannot believe what I am about to do. If you looked at me two months ago, you wouldugh, but now I am about to make the biggest decision in my life. I stare down at my hands before I speak, and I can clearly see hom much they are trembling. Please let this not be a mistake ¡°Boo, there is only one way that I will be a squad leader.¡± ¡°And what is that soldier?¡± ¡°Marry me.¡± Chapter 29 Not All On Board Sometimes you have to take a leap and pray that you do not fall. For sometimes, the leap is so great that if you fall, you are going to fall hard. Falling is hard, but falling hard is even harder. So if you fall, you better pray you are falling onto something soft. And something soft is what awaits me and tackles me to the ground. Ana has me down on the grass, holding me as tight as she cans. ¡°Yes, yes, yes, soldier! A hundred times over, yes!¡± ¡°Damn boo, for a second there; I thought you were going to strangle me.¡± ¡°Hahaha. I will wait until we are married before I kill you.¡± ¡°Now that is something to look forward to. But can we take this inside? Our new neighbor is giving us a funny eye.¡± I pick her off her feet and carry her into the house. Once inside, I throw her over my shoulder and p her on her ass ¡°Soldier, what are you doing? Put me down!¡± ¡°Practicing.¡± When we get to the room, I drop her body elegantly onto the bed and watch her disappear between the sheets. Iy down next to her, it is not long, and we fall asleep in each other¡¯s arms. The next morning I am awakened by a glorious smelling from the kitchen. I throw on a pair of boxers and make my way over to her. ¡°Morning boo.¡± ¡°Hey, soldier. Did I wake you?¡± ¡°Nah, I slept like an angel.¡± I wait while she goes to dish up for us before carrying on with what I want to speak about. ¡°So boo, the wedding date?¡± ¡°Damn, soldier, you are fast.¡± ¡°Well, the thing kind of is, I want to get married before we deploy.¡± ¡°But soldier that is in little over a week?¡± ¡°I know, boo. If we can get Katarina and my mom here tomorrow, then we can start nning.¡± ¡°Soldier, when you said wife, I did not think wife so soon?¡± ¡°I know, boo, but I don¡¯t want to deploy without you having my ring on your finger.¡± ¡°Why, soldier?¡± ¡°I want you to be taken care of if anything happens to me.¡± ¡°Soldier, don¡¯t talk like that; nothing is going to happen to you.¡± I pull her chair a little closer to me. ¡°I want you to be mine. Like this, just us, together. I want to make you my wife. I won¡¯t be happy if I go out there and we have notpletely given us to each other.¡± ¡°If we going to do this, then I guess we are going all the way.¡± ¡°So what do you say about Saturday?¡± ¡°I guess Saturday I am getting married.¡± ¡°Come, boo. It is time we phone my mom.¡± Ana, who is beyond nervous, hands me the phone; with my trembling fingers, I start to dial my mom¡¯s number and let it ring. Not even six secondster, and she answers it; I was so hoping she would take longer to at least give me some time to breathe. ¡°Hey, Ethan.¡± ¡°Hey, mom.¡± ¡°How you kids doing? You settling in well?¡± ¡°Yes, everything is perfect; we can¡¯t wait to ship out.¡± ¡°Yes, I am not looking forward to that part a bit. Still don¡¯t understand how you manage to set your heart on such a dangerous career.¡± ¡°Mom, it is not a career; it is a passion. It is something I want to do. But this is not why we are phoning.¡± ¡°Oh, is Ana also there. Put her on speaker.¡± Ana only looks at me and shakes her head. She has been happily sitting here just biting her nails. She hoped that she would not have to say a word because Matt made the mistake of telling her how mad my mom can get, and now she is beyond shit scared. ¡°Hey, Mary.¡± I chuckle at her, showing her that she should say mom, but somehow she does not seem to find it funny at all. ¡°Hey, Ana. Is something the matter? Why do you guys sound so nervous?¡± ¡°Nothing is wrong, mom; there is something we need to tell you.¡± ¡°Is Ana is pregnant? Oh, please tell me Ana is pregnant.¡± ¡°Whoa, hold on there, let us not get ahead of ourselves here.¡± ¡°That is such a pity. I would love to have a baby in the family. But then what do you need to tell me?¡± ¡°Mom, we¡­¡± ¡°Oh, hang on, your dad is here.¡± Oh, perfect; I was hoping to only hear about his opinion on being the perfect husbandter when he got here. Guess they say the sooner, the better then, but my biggest fear is my mom; if she disapproves, it will devastate us both. ¡°So let¡¯s hear this news,¡± my dad says as he sounds somewhat impatient. ¡°Have you changed your mind? Are youing back now?¡± ¡°No, dad, we are not going anywhere. But we were hoping that you guys wille here.¡± ¡°Go there for what? You surely not expecting us to pack up and follow you around?¡± ¡°Hahaha. I am trying to run away, not trying to get you to follow me.¡± ¡°That is not nice, Ethan,¡± my mom says. ¡°You know how much we miss you when you are not around ¡°I know, mom, I am just messing around. The thing is, we want you toe here tomorrow.¡± ¡°Tomorrow?¡± Then I hear my dad abruptly interrupt my mom. ¡°To Camp Pendleton?¡± ¡°Yes, and Matty too.¡± ¡°Why? Did something happen?¡± ¡°No, but something is going to happen.¡± Ana goes and punches me on the leg showing me to get out with it. But me, I like dragging it out until the suspense is nearly killing them. Hopefully, by the time I tell them, they will be so irritated that they have no energy left to be mad, and mad is exactly what my dad gets. ¡°Can you get it out? You know how it frustrates me when you are so damn slow.¡± ¡°Well, I asked Ana to marry me.¡± ¡°You what?¡± I listen as my mom p my dad, and as he goes quiet, she continues to speak. ¡°Oh my god, Ethan. This is wonderful. It is even better than being pregnant. But why must we be there tomorrow, though?¡± ¡°We are getting married on Saturday.¡± And if I was not shocked by my dad¡¯s reaction before, I am by what he says next. ¡°Have you lost your mind?¡± ¡°No, Dad, I want us to get married before I deploy.¡± ¡°It is insane; you only met each other the other day.¡± Now, this is something I did not expect at all. I was preparing myself to convince my mom that it is not rushed and that we know what we are doing. But instead, it is my dad that seems to disapprove. I do not need their blessing, but I would love their support. ¡°Marriage is not a thing to y with,¡± he continues to show his utter disgust at our decision. ¡°You can¡¯t just walk out when it does not work for you.¡± ¡°I know that, dad; I would not be asking Ana if I know it would not work.¡± ¡°You are young; you are only twenty-five; you still have your whole life ahead of you. Why would you want to get tied down at such a young age?¡± ¡°John,¡± my mom interrupts him. ¡°Ethan knows what he is doing. You know that he will not make decisions like this lightly.¡± ¡°Well, it is obvious he does not know how to make decisions. First, it was the Marine Corps that I have learned to live with, but now getting married so soon? This is ridiculous.¡± I can hear what sounds like a chair in the kitchen being kicked out and my father walking off. A few momentster, my mom finally speaks to us again. ¡°I am sorry, Ethan; I think he is just in a bad mood today.¡± ¡°Mom, it is fine; we thought that you would be upset.¡± ¡°I am so happy for you guys. After everything you both have gone through, you deserve a bit of happiness.¡± ¡°Now tomorrow, mom, Ana needs some help to n the wedding so quickly. We were hoping you guys would be able toe tomorrow?¡± ¡°Of course, I will. It is the first one of my boys to get married. It has to be perfect for you both. I will let you know the moment we leave.¡± ¡°Thank you, mom.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I will speak to your dad.¡± ¡°I think it is going to take a lot of talking, but I appreciate if you can.¡± ¡°Sure, see you two tomorrow.¡± After I drop the call, we can only but stare at each other. There is a deep sadness in her eyes; she is trying very hard to hide her tears. It only takes one second longer, and theye streaming down her face like a raging river bursting its banks. I slowly pull her closer into my warm embrace. I wrap my big strong protective arms around her frail body. In an instant, the world around us melts away. I squeeze her even harder, not wanting the moment to end. ¡°Soldier, your dad is never going to be happy if you marry me.¡± ¡°Boo, you are marrying me, not my family, especially not my father. All that matters is my opinion. He wille around; I think he is just in shock.¡± ¡°I hope you are right; I hate to be the one that breaks your family apart.¡± ¡°You are not breaking anything apart; if anything, you are fixing a broken man.¡± ¡°But you are not broken, soldier.¡± ¡°I was boo until I met you.¡±Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g I sp her face between my hands and stare beyond those beautiful big brown eyes. ¡°I love you.¡±Ana With every breath and wink, I move my lips closer to hers until I finally feel her skin touching mine. Her lips are softly trembling as she tries to whisper. ¡°I love you too, soldier.¡± ¡°What do you say we go back to bed? I don¡¯t feel like facing the day after that call.¡± ¡°I am right behind you.¡± As we get back under the covers, we cuddle back into each other¡¯s arms, and that is where we stay until the next morning Then all of a sudden, there is one hell of a banging at our door. Of course, misses sleepyhead refuses to get up for it. I very reluctantly go to check who it is and give them a fair piece of my mind. ¡°Who the hell¡­¡± ¡°Hello, bro!¡± ¡°What?¡­. Why?¡­ Were you guys not supposed to let me know when you leave?¡± And from behind him, Katarina pops her head. ¡°Mary could not wait anymore and dragged us all out of bed.¡± And past theme, my mom. ¡°What? It is not every day that I get to see my boy get married.¡± I watch as my mom excitedly starts to look around. I know who she is looking for. She is looking forward to this wedding; I hope Ana can see that my family will fall in love with her just like I did. ¡°Where is Ana?¡± ¡°Hey, Mary.¡± Anaes walking up to my mom and surprisingly gives her one big warm hug. The smile on my mom¡¯s face confirms for me that my mom has already epted her as part of the family. But we are missing one member here ¡°Where is dad?¡± Chapter 30 When Is A Mistake A Mistake? A suffocating silence has set over the room as every single syble leaves my lips. My mom¡¯s once bright, happy face has just turned to a whiter shade of pale. By her hesitation and stuttering words, I just know it is a question she was hoping I would not ask in the first ce. After several moments and a couple of poor attempts, she finally finds the courage to speak. ¡°I am afraid he is noting, Ethan.¡±This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°What do you mean he is noting, mom?¡± ¡°You know how your father is; if he does not approve of something, he makes it known.¡± ¡°He does not approve of something like my wedding?¡± ¡°He still thinks you are making a mistake.¡± And just as soon as my mom says that Ana bursts into tears and runs off the room. First, he does not approve of me getting married, and now he forces her to cry. If anyone should be pissed off around here, then it should be me. I cannot believe how selfish he can be. I know he has not approved of me bing a Marine since that e Monday afternoon seven years ago. But now this, this I am afraid I will not forgive him for. As I make my own way to the room, all I can hear is the bedroom door being mmed shut. Even when we have had our own fights, she has never once done this. I have no idea how I am going to make this any better. I know that she was hoping that my father would be walking her down the aisle, but as it stands now like it is, that will not happen. With just enough courage, I crack the door slightly open. I can see she is lying crumpled up in a little ball. The agonizing sobs that escape from her body are breaking my heart into pieces. I immediately walk up to her; I gently nudge her chin and let her face me. Her big brown eyes are drowning in a pool of tears; it causes my very own toe streaming down my face. ¡°Boo, I am so sorry. I did not think my father would ever do something like this.¡± ¡°Soldier, it is not your fault. I was just hoping that¡­¡± A new set of emotionse rolling over her face. Apart from Katarina, she does not have anyone so close as a family to her. The loss of her parents still hangs heavy over her; she was so hoping that my family would open up to her. But yet my father goes and does this. ¡°Boo, I know, I am just as disappointed, or in fact, I am actually furious that he could even do something like this.¡± ¡°But soldier, who is going to walk me down the aisle now?¡± ¡°It will just have to be Matty then.¡± But as I even dare to give the suggestion, she once more starts to sobs. I lift her up from where she is lying on the bed and pull her closer into the warmth of my embrace. I can feel how her body trembles as she cries uncontrobly. Her tears start to drench my shirt, where she is resting her head against my chest. ¡°Boo, do you want to postpone the wedding until my father has calmed down?¡± ¡°Soldier, we both know that might take forever. I am getting married on Saturday; I do not care whoes or who stays away.¡± ¡°Now that is my girl, I am fully there with you. If my dad does not want toe, then it is his decision. Bute Saturday, nobody is stopping me from marrying you.¡± As I lift her face to seek thefort of her eyes, I know that I am lying to myself. I desperately wanted my father to be here. I guess it is just another thing I did that he disapproves of. I just needed this one thing, amongst all the other failures, only this one. I just wish we did not have to say goodbye like this. But I soon hide my true feelings away from her, for if not both, at least one of us needs to see the silver lining here. ¡°Are you ready to go, do this?¡± ¡°Please give me a few more moments.¡± ¡°Sure boo anything for you, I will be in the lounge.¡± ¡°Please, can you ask Katarina toe here?¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ I don¡¯t know what I was expecting. Of course, his father will disapprove of it. I have never in my lifee across an even more hard-headed person like his father. I do understand there is a standard he has set for his sons, but this is just in ridiculous. I do not even want to start and imagine what this is doing to Ethan. I know that this wedding is being rushed, but if that is the piece of mind Ethan needs, then I shall give him every bit of it. If it was not going to happen now, I know that it would have definitely happened in the near future. Ethan will never understand how much I truly love him. He will never get that I cannot spend a minute too long without him. I have followed him here, and I will follow him to where ever we are going. But there is something off with him; there is something he is hiding. I do not want to push him for answers, for I do not want us to be mad at each other, especially not now. And now I have a wedding to n, so I better get my head into the game. But first, I need to speak to Katarina. ¡°Hey, you crazy person.¡± Katarinaes and sits by my side on the bed. ¡°You are the crazy person that is going getting married and all of that.¡± ¡°Well, what can I say, I got a thing for men in uniform.¡± ¡°Talking about men in uniform, your man is looking hotter than ever.¡± ¡°And acting weirder than ever too.¡± ¡°But is that not what men are¡­ weird.¡± But this is not just weird. He is making it as if everything we are doing now will be thest time we are ever going to do it. It is like he wants to build the memory now, for there won¡¯t be a time when we can do it ¡°This one is being a bit more weirder than normal.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°I am getting the idea that he is saying goodbye.¡± ¡°I am sure he is just nervous about the wedding and getting ready to deploy.¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ So it begins, the count down to my big day. I never thought I would get married, let alone so soon, but I do know for certain that it is exactly what I want to do. Now, if my dad is not going to be here, I will still be going ahead with it. The minute I set foot on hostile ground, I want to be able to look at Ana and know that she is mine. I am officially going to stop caring about what anybody says. With this still fully aware of in my head, I am met with yet another concerned person as I sneak my head around the corner. ¡°Please tell me she is okay?¡± my mom asks. ¡°She is heartbroken, but she will be fine.¡± ¡°I really tried everything, but he did not want toe.¡± ¡°I know, mom; in fact, I would have been more shocked if he dide.¡± ¡°Your dad does not always understand; in fact, he never understands.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine mom, don¡¯t make excuses for him. Let¡¯s just focus on the wedding.¡± But I can see her having the same burning question that made my dad note here today. I know that she is excited, but she too wants to know why we are rushing things like this. I do not doubt that I have her support, but I think I have not convinced her yet. ¡°Mom, I am getting married to Ana whether anyone likes it or not.¡± ¡°I know, Ethan; I just don¡¯t want you kids to do anything you might regret.¡± ¡°How can marrying the woman I love be a regret?¡± ¡°That is not what I mean, Ethan.¡± When my mom says something like this, I know that there is a high possibility that she almost exactly means what she says by it. Why can nobody just be happy about this? Around every corner there is someone that disapproves, and they will find any excuse wrong with it. I am really starting to lose my patience, and even though I hate raising my voice to my mom, out of frustration, I do. ¡°Oh, I forget we are too young. Or maybe you don¡¯t trust Isabelle not to hurt me. Even that she is not good enough for me?¡± ¡°Come on, Ethan, I never said that.¡± ¡°Yes, because it is what none of you are saying. A in damn congrattions would have just been nice, but all I get is buts.¡± With that, I grab my coat and head for the door. A blind rage has taken over my body; if I do not leave now, I might just say something that I will regret. That is if I have not already done. This was to be a special day, but right now, there is nothing special about it. I have Ana crying her heart out and a whole bunch of people doubting us. The first day of nning my wedding is off to a great start. As I swing the front door wide open, I see him standing there with his finger ready to press the buzzer. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± Chapter 31 One Foolish Man If ever there was a face that I did not want to see again, he would definitely be one of them. I obviously did not hit him hard enough thest time. But that is not the problem; what is the buff dumbo doing on my doorstep in the first ce? Did I not make it quite clear to him that I never wanted to see his ugly face again. Now, if he thought that he would get a warm reception just showing up here, well, he can be d I am not punching him in his face again. ¡°What do you want, Paul?¡± ¡°I came here to see Ana.¡± ¡°Well, Ana does not want to see you.¡± ¡°She does. Can you just call her for me?¡± Has this man indeed grown even more stupid than hisst beating. He obviously does not understand what a simple no means. I can think of one way I would like to refresh his memory, but I know that Ana shall p me instead. So I will get him to move along instead. ¡°Not going to happen. What are you doing here in any case?¡± ¡°I told you, I am here to see Ana.¡± ¡°Well, you are not. How did you even know she is here?¡± ¡°That is none of your business now. Can you call her for me?¡± ¡°It is my business when she is my fiance. Now can you kindly fuck off cause your face is already annoying me?¡± ¡°Well, my annoying face is not going anywhere until I have seen Ana.¡± ¡°Are you really so dumb? Did I not tell you to fuck off thest time? Well, if you did not hear it then, I am telling you now again. You are not seeing Ana; now get your buff dumbo ass off my doorstep before I really lose my temper.¡± Oh, then he dares to mock me in my face; now, once again, if it were not for Ana, this man would be t on his face. ¡°Oh really, Paul, what are you going to do?¡± ¡°Do you really want me to show you, Paul?¡± Not even having to consider it for one second, I step back and m the door shut in front of his ugly face. I think it has even perhaps hit him, which makes the satisfaction so far greater. If it could only knock out some teeth, then I would be happy that I did him a favor. He is already goddamn ugly; it would not make any difference. But as I chuckle at myself and make my way back to the lounge, I find Ana walking up to me. With nothing but a big grin, I look at her. She knows full well that I have just been up to no good. ¡°Who was at the door, soldier?¡± ¡°Just some buff dumbo that iscking one too many brain cells.¡±Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g ¡°Soldier who was at the door?¡± ¡°That idiot Paul.¡± ¡°Paul? Really? Did he leave?¡± I take her by the hand and chuckle to myself. But yes, just as I thought, she does not find this funny at all. ¡°Soldier! You can¡¯t do that.¡± ¡°Well, I just did. Hopefully, he got the message and left.¡± And just as I say that, the persistent asshole rings the doorbell again. And it is not only once; he has got his damn finger on it continuously. ¡°Boo, please just ignore him; he is just here to cause trouble.¡± ¡°You know that I can¡¯t do that.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ What is Paul doing here? How did he even know I was here? Now he has gone and pissed Ethan off again. Thest time they met, it did not go off so well, and something gives me the idea if I let Paul in here that the two Hunter boys will not hesitate to rip him apart. Now I know I should not even consider entertaining Paul¡¯spany, and I know that it is upsetting Ethan. But I really need to know what he wants and how on earth he even knew I was here. ¡°Soldier, let me talk to him; otherwise, he is not going to go anywhere.¡± ¡°Boo, I don¡¯t like this, not the least bit. I do not like this guy; he is just here to cause trouble again.¡± ¡°Well, I am going to talk to him and see what he wants.¡± Not wanting to start an argument, I pass Ethan to go speak to Paul, who is now buzzing the doorbell persistently. As I open it, I can see him standing there with that stupid look on his face. ¡°Hey, Ana.¡± ¡°Paul, what are you doing here?¡± ¡°I heard you were on base, so I thought that I woulde to say hello.¡± ¡°I am not even going to ask how you heard, but you can¡¯t just show up here.¡± ¡°Well, you were not answering your phone.¡± ¡°Yes, cause I am busy, and Ethan¡¯s family is here.¡± ¡°Busy making wedding ns? I heard you are marrying this¡­ this asshole.¡± I move closer to Ana and put my hand firmly around her waist. I get so much pleasure as it makes the damn asshole cringe in his pants. But he better watch that foul mouth of his. ¡°Paul, that is not necessary. Just tell me why you are really here?¡± ¡°Do you mind if Ie in?¡± ¡°Do you really think that is a good idea?¡± I know exactly why this man is here; he has heard through the grapevine that I am on base and that I have been seen with Ethan. He is probably going to try and convince me how bad Ethan is. If I am evenpletely correct, he will even go as far as proiming his undying love to me. He has been nothing but a constant thorn in my side since the day that Mark died. If he thinks that I will drop everything and shack up with him, then he has a very big surpriseing his way ¡°Please, will you just talk to me outside then?¡± ¡°You have ten minutes, Paul; then I aming back inside.¡± I watch as Ethan¡¯s once happy face now turns into aplete frown of disappointment. I know I should not be doing this, but if I do not speak to Paul, then he will never leave. So it is with a sad heart that I watch Ethan plead. ¡°Boo please?¡± ¡°Soldier, I will be finished in a second.¡± He turns and hesitantly closes the door behind them. I go to sit on the steps outside, and Paules to sit down next to me. ¡°Why are you going to marry this guy?¡± ¡°Because I love him, Paul.¡± ¡°What about Mark?¡± ¡°Mark is dead, and it is time for me to move one.¡± ¡°But you have me.¡± ¡°Yes, I know, but you are my friend; I need more than that in my life.¡± ¡°But why can¡¯t we just try.¡± And just as I thought, I am right. He is only here to cause trouble. I need to say my mind and get him to leave, for Ethan is going toe out here and rip him to shreds. I know that he is standing and watching us through the window as he is not being very discreet. If he were outside here with another woman, I would be doing the exact same thing. ¡°Paul, I am with Ethan, I love him, and we are getting married on Saturday.¡± ¡°Have youpletely lost your mind, Ana? This guy is not worth it.¡± ¡°Exactly why is he not worth it? Because he has an amputated leg? If I can recall, you had the samement thest time you two met. Now, if you think I am not going to get pissed off, then you are wrong! Do not ever refer to Ethan as being half a man.¡± ¡°But I did not Ana, all I am trying to say is that you belong with me.¡± ¡°And what seems to give you that idea?¡± ¡°Because I love you more than this man will ever do.¡± And just as I thought, he says exactly what I knew he was going to. I am not going to sit here and listen to this. ¡°Paul, you need to leave.¡± ¡°Wait, Ana!¡± He reaches out and grabs my hand a bit more tightly than it is really necessary. I do not say a word, for I know that Ethan is listening to everything we are saying. If he has seen Paul grab my arm, that I do not know. But then he goes a bit bolder and yanks my arm and pulls me closer to his chest. ¡°Paul, let me go!¡± ¡°Ana, please.¡± And before I am even certain to what happens myself, he has grabbed me even more tightly around my waist, but he does not stop it there; he moves in faster than I can think and ces his lips against mine ¡°Ana, I love you, please.¡± Then all of a sudden, I hear the front door open behind me. Chapter 32 Played With The Wrong Fire The first time Iid my eyes on Paul, I knew he was trouble. The second time Iid my eyes on him, he was trouble. Now the third time¡­ he is dead. At first, I thought that I was just being unreasonably jealous, but the moment that I saw him try and kiss my fiance, I knew that I was going to do something that is going tond me in a prison cell for the night. I took my eyes away from them for a second only to find when I looked again that the buff dumbo has his filthy lips against hers. I need not even hesitate that maybe I am seeing things wrong; I fling the front door open and rush towards him. I grab him by the shoulder and spin him around ¡°What fuck do you think you are doing?¡± ¡°Let go of me!¡± If he thinks I am going to let go, then he has another thinging. I ball my right hand into a fist so tightly that my knuckles are turning white. With the full force of my trembling arm, I pull back andunch my fist straight into his jaw. His head snaps to the side, causing him to stumble backward. I step two steps closer to him and grab him by his cor, twisting it with so much tension that the buttons of his shirt pop off. I pull my fist into a ball once again and crash it square into his nose. I can hear the bones crack as his head falls back. He falls back onto his ass into a nearby rose bush that scratches his arm to shit. As I go to pull him up, I hear a voice behind me speak. ¡°Ethan, stop. He is not worth it.¡± Much to my shock, I hear my father as hees walking up to me. But the buff dumbo goes to grab me from behind. All I hear is my dad raising his voice. ¡°Ethan, move!¡± As I stumble off my feet to the side, I am very amazed as I watch my father smashes his fist underneath his chin and knock him outpletely. I jump up as fast as I can and run over to where my father is standing, rubbing his hand. ¡°Are you okay, dad?¡± ¡°I wanted to do that the first time that asshole set foot into my house.¡± We all stand there justughing at my dad; my father might be full of shit, but never did I think he can throw a punch like that. As everyone starts moving back into the house, I pull my father back. ¡°Thank you for that.¡± ¡°It is the least I can do after acting like an idiot.¡± But as he wants to walk off, I pull him back again. I know that he was only looking out for me when he was so opposed to the wedding. I know that he is just scared that I shall get hurt; he does after treat me with more care since he found out about what happened that day. He understands the pain and suffering I had to go through when I lost my leg, but most of all, he understands that I do not deserve to be alone. And I guess that he has seen that Ana shall be that woman that makes meplete. So after giving him a very much awkward hug and thanking him once again, we also head inside, where we find the others happilyughing at everything that just happened. But the only one notughing is Ana; she seems quite detached from the situation. It must just be the shock; I did not think anyone could foresee such a thing to have happened. I walk up to where she stands, very much panicked. ¡°Boo, are you okay?¡± ¡°I am so sorry about that soldier. He is thest person I expected to see.¡± ¡°It is not your fault. Let us just forget about it. We have a wedding to n, and we are running out of days.¡± I see she agrees, but if she understands, it is a whole different thing. I know this is all big and scary for her. We both are making such big decisions in our life. We should be doing this together, but right now, it seems that we are doing this apart. And apart we are definitely doing it; since this whole incident, she haspletely withdrawn into herself. So much so that she is agreeing to everything my mom is saying.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g Right now, if my mom says to wear a ck dress, she most certainly would even agree to it, not even knowing what she is saying. I hate to see her like this; she is feeling so much pain inside. First, it was my father that did not want toe, and now Paules here, causing trouble like this. I can¡¯t help to think that this might also bring back painful memories of Mark. Whatever she is going through, I can slowly see it eating her up inside. It is not long before shees up to me, and I can immediately see the tears burning inside. My heart breaks in an instant; it is at this time that I wished that my father had punched him harder. He hase here, and not only did he what should be a happy asion, but he has also upset Ana to such a degree that it is bringing her to tears. ¡°Soldier, I am going to goy down; I am not feeling well.¡± ¡°Sure, boo, do you want me to wake you upter?¡± ¡°Please, about supper time if you don¡¯t mind.¡± ¡°Not at all; you goy down.¡± I pull her into my warm embrace and pull her closer to my chest. I can smell the scent of honey in her hair as Iy my chin softly on her head. Her body is slightly trembling, which makes me squeeze her a bit more tightly. I keep my strong protective arms around her frail body for what almost seems like five minutes. She lifts up her head and seeks my eyes. ¡°I am going to go to bed; please tell your mom I say sorry.¡± ¡°Boo, don¡¯t feel sorry for anything. Just go get rest, and I shall see youter.¡± The day goes by in but a blur; I am left to make most of the decisions about cake and flowers, table cloths, and napkins. I never thought that anything could be so damn tiring. Lucky with Katarina here, we know mostly what Ana likes. By the time we are nearly done, it is time to wake Ana. I make my way to the room, where I find that she is already awake. But the look on her face tells me that there is something wrong. If her face was troubled before, it has grown somewhat terrified at something I am sure I am about to find out. ¡°How did you sleep?¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ With Pauling here, he did not only make me mad, but he did scratch opens some wound I would have to prefer to stay locked deep down inside of me. For some strange reason, I feel like I am betraying Mark for moving on. Yes, he would want me to be happy, but how can I be if all that I am doing isplicating Ethan¡¯s life. He deserves so much more than the trouble I bring. If it were not for me, he would not have had to even consider the choice toe back to the Corps. And then the whole thing with his father, I know his father dide, but there was almost the possibility that he won¡¯t. Lastly, this whole damn thing with Paul. Ethan is not a violent man, but he just got into a fistfight over me. I cannot do this to Ethan; he does not deserve these things to be happening to him. ¡°Soldier, I need to talk to you about something.¡± ¡°What is wrong, boo?¡± ¡°The wedding¡­¡± He immediately cuts me off; he is so soft and innocent sometimes. It is the thing I love the most, his love and loyalty. He always fails to see the bad side of things. He believes in a world where people do not hurt and where there is constant happiness for all. So it is with great joy that he tells me of how the day went. ¡°We actually got a lot done while you were sleeping.¡± ¡°No, that is not it.¡± ¡°What is wrong? You are making me worried.¡± ¡°Soldier, you know how much I love you.¡± ¡°Yes, like infinity and beyond. And I love you even further beyond of that.¡± ¡°You making this hard for me.¡± ¡°Boo, what is wrong?¡± I watch as his beautiful brown eyes grow even wider. That perfect head of messy hard and his strong chiseled face is what made me fall in love with him in the first ce. He is devilishly handsome and definitely one of the best things that happened in my life. But he does not deserve this. He does not deserve this drama; he does not deserve the unhappiness it has caused in his home. He deserves better. ¡°Soldier, I want to call the wedding off.¡± Chapter 33 Heartbreak Comes Too Easy ¡­Ana POV¡­ It has not even been a day since Ethan has proposed to me, and I am already calling it off. It has taken me most of this day to realize that not only are we not ready for this, but we are doing this for all the wrong reasons. What makes this worse is the silence; sometimes it is not so much the words being spoken that bring the pain, but the painful silence itself. Even though he has not yet said a word, behind those beautiful brown eyes lies a deep pain. And it is me, the woman he loves, that is driving a thousand daggers through his heart. I watch him fight every single tear that threatens to fill his eyes to a brink. He shall not break in front of me no matter what I do to him. Does this break my heart? Of course, it does; it is shattering it into more pieces than it is made of. It is like crumpling up a piece of paper, you can smooth it over, but it shall never be the same. What has been said is done; there is no way that I can take it back. Where do we go from here? I know that Ethan is a man, that no matter how much you have broken him, he will still love you the same. They say that love is blind, but it is just as foolish, for sometimes we love the ones that hurt us the most and love the ones that don¡¯t deserve our love in the first ce. Ethan deserves far better than what I can give him. But now, now I just wish that he would say a word, at least cry or scream or throw something. He is only but sitting and staring past me at a painting on the wall. ¡°Soldier, please say something?¡± ¡°It is fine, Ana; I will go tell my mom to stop making the preparations.¡± ¡°Please just wait and talk to me first. Are you okay?¡± ¡°Yes, I am fine.¡± He is not fine; I have seen this face before, the very same one that I saw that first time I broke things off with him. Guess I have done this before, and now to make things worse, I have gone and done it again and at the worst timing. ¡°Soldier, please don¡¯t cut me off.¡± ¡°Leave it, Ana, I have nothing to say. You have said quite enough; doubt there is anything needed to say after that.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± ¡°No buts necessary, the damage is done. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go speak to Ray as well.¡± ¡°Why do you need to speak, Ray?¡± ¡°To find somewhere else to stay.¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ The tips of a thousand daggers have just ripped every part of my now shattered heart apart. The pain that stings through me can not be described in any word, but tormented agony does spring to mind. Any ounce of feeling I had left has just died and dried out like a leaf in the winter. I have felt this pain once before, and that pain left me with a third of a leg. It is truly not aparison, but it sure wounds my heart in the exact same way. I feel like running to the edge of the world and just drop into nothing. I need to leave my heart on this bed and get as far away as I can from here. I do not wish to feel this suffocating grip that I feel in my chest. The tears are burning my eyes; they want to burst open like a waterfall and consume the rest of my body. The only thing I can think of now is just to get away from her. She was supposed to have loved me, not break my heart six days before deployment. They say that a broken heart can heal just as a broken arm or leg. Well, am I not then the opposite of that? My legs are still broken, and so shall my heart remain. She gave me so much happiness; who knew that she could give me just as much pain. Even though my heart is bleeding out, I shall not show her a single tear. They say that bitterness and love cannot live in the same heart. This heart felt nothing but love for her; even when I felt rejected by her before, I still felt strongly for her. But this time, it is more than just rejecting me for who I am; she is saying no to a life and a future for us. The question begs, which feeling do I feel strongly now? As I walk out of the room to speak to my mom, thest piece of emotion I had left disappear as she mumbles sorry under her breath; well, sorry is toote; the damage and intention have definitely been done. ¡® And as I step into the lounge, I turn to my mom. Without even blinking, I break the excellent news to her. ¡°Mom, the wedding is off.¡±This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°What do you mean it is off?¡± ¡°Ana does not want to get married anymore. I am so sorry you guys wasted your time.¡± ¡°Let me go speak to her, Ethan.¡± ¡°Mom don¡¯t even bother; I think it is for the best. Like dad said, we are too young. I am deploying in six days; I need to focus on that.¡± My father that had his reservations,es to put his arm around my shoulders. I know that not even him that is so cold will tell me I told you so. ¡°Let me and Matty take you out for a beer so that you can get fresh air.¡± ¡°Thanks, dad; I would like it if you can take me to speak to Ray about a ce to stay for the next couple of days.¡± ¡°Ethan are you sure you want to do this?¡± ¡°Yes, just as sure as I am deploying in six days. This has happened before; it will happen again.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ I did not quite expect that; I thought he would have cried, but instead, he is getting ready to move out. I was only breaking the wedding off, not our rtionship. Guess I was maybe a bit foolish thinking that he would ept it and let us carry on. Now I have Katarina knocking at my door, she will still understand me, but what do I do when Mary wants to talk to me? ¡°Hey, girl.¡± ¡°Hey, please don¡¯te here to give me a mouthful.¡± ¡°No, not intending to; I just want to see if you are okay.¡± ¡°Well, I just broke my wedding off, and Ethan is moving out. All of this in little than a day must be a new record.¡± ¡°Can I ask why?¡± ¡°We are doing it for the wrong reasons.¡± ¡°You or him doing it for the wrong reasons?¡± ¡°I know his heart means well and that he loves me so much.¡± ¡°Still does not answer my question.¡± ¡°I guess I am.¡± ¡°You know there is no way for you out of this; you are still going to have to deploy?¡± ¡°Yes, Katarina, I know; I will speak to Ray to transfer me to another unit.¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ Every word that ising from my mouth now absolutely shocks me. I came here to follow my dream; for some stupid reason, I believed that Ana was part of that dream. Guess it was just that, a dream; it was never supposed to have been anything more than that. But it is the dream of deploying that is still keeping me strong. And this is what I tell myself as we make our way in clear silence to the pub; my father and Matt have no idea what to say to me. They do not know if I am mad or sad. Well, what I am ispletely dead. As we step on into the pub, I am surprised to see Ray sitting in the corner with some of the other guys in our toon. My father and Matt find a table while I head on over to speak to them ¡°Hey, Ethan, where is the misses? Do you guys want to join us?¡± ¡°No, I am here with my brother and father, but there is something I would like to discuss with you in private.¡± ¡°Sure, let¡¯s go outside.¡± Ray excuses himself, and we go stand outside far away in private where we can not be heard. He knows that something is eating at me, and by the expression on my face, he knows that something must have happened with Ana. ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Ethan?¡± ¡°I need somewhere else to stay. Things with Ana has fallen apart.¡± ¡°Fuck, Ethan, I am so sorry. Of course, I can find another ce. But I have to ask you. Are you sure you want to do this?¡± Chapter 34 Love Is Blind They say that love is blind; I say it is bullshit. Love is all-seeing and epting. Love is seeing all the ws and blemishes of your partner and epting them. Love is epting their bad habits and working around them. Love is recognizing the fear and insecurities you might have. Love is fragile and will shatter when it is not perfect. Love is strong and should strengthen each day. What is blind is when you tell someone you love them and not meaning it. I am left to believe that Ana only decided toe here to please me. Well, it has just kind of blown up in her own face. Unless she really wants to be here, this is going to be like a death sentence. She hasmitted herself for six years, and it is not like she can just quit and go home. Unlike her, this is my dream; it does sadden me that she won¡¯t be with me while we go through this. Guess that is why they call it a dream, for it most probably is only a dream to me.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g Now I have Ray looking at me with those questioning eyes. Is this something I really want? I have repeatedly asked myself this very question over the past hours, and my broken heart keepsing up with the same answer. ¡°Yes, Ray, I am very sure about this; this is not the first she had ducked when the kitchen got too hot for her.¡± ¡°You want to stay with the rest of the guys or on your own?¡± ¡°I think since we are deploying now, I shall stay with them but ultimately on my own when we return.¡± ¡°Perfect, I shall arrange with Gibbs and Williams.¡± Just then, Ray¡¯s phone rings; as he looks down and back up again, he looks at me with almost pleading eyes. ¡°It is Ana.¡± ¡°Guess she is already looking for a way out.¡± ¡°Let me grab this; I will catch up with you inside.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ Thest thing I need now is to be around Ethan. He is absolutely furious with me; I have no idea how I am supposed to face him after this. The best thing now for me is to ask for a transfer and just hope I do not bump into him in the next six years. So I am phoning Ray to get a transfer to another toon. ¡°Hey Ana, how are you doing?¡± ¡°I am sure that you have heard from Ethan by now?¡± ¡°Yes, I have just bumped into him. I am really sorry to hear about you guys.¡± ¡°Then I think you know why I am phoning.¡± ¡°I will see what I can do; I cannot promise anything as I already pulled some strings to get you in there in the first ce.¡± ¡°Thank you, Ray.¡± I watch as Katarina is watching me with wide eyes. I know what she is thinking; I can hardly believe what is happening. Why does Ethan have to be so damn stubborn? I only meant the wedding, not us. And to make things even worse, I have Mary sitting in the lounge, and I do not have the guts to go speak to her. Poor Katarina is trying to console me the best that she can. ¡°You guys will sort things out before you deploy.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think so; Ethan is the most stubborn man that I have ever known. Now he is stubborn and hurt, which makes it even worse.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know what more to say to you. Maybe you should have just waited instead of deciding on impulse.¡± ¡°I was only trying to give him what he needs; I guess that lying to him, I have just been lying to myself.¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ So my father and Matt have managed to make this Marine drunk. Now to be drunk on a broken heart is never a wise thing to do, but if Ana thinks that I will be running back to her, she has anothering. After finishing onest round, the three of us practically hang over each other as we make our way home. All I need is to get some sleep and forget that this day ever happened; it is a pity that I cannot erase thest few months; I guess it is part of those dreadful lessons you need to learn in life. It kind of sucks, though, when it happens to you So the minute we get home, I go to the room to change into something with less of an alcohol aroma. I think a third of everything I drank hasnded up on my shirt. But as I step inside the room, I find Ana and Katarina sitting on the bed. ¡°Sorry I wille backter.¡± ¡°Ethan, please wait. Can we just talk about this?¡± ¡°There is nothing to talk about, Ana.¡± But being Ana, she does not listen to me and just carries on, ¡°I only meant call the wedding off, not break us off.¡± ¡°Hey, if I am not good enough to be a husband, then surely I am not good enough to a boyfriend.¡± ¡°Come on, that is not fair.¡± ¡°What is not fair is you stringing me along.¡± ¡°I did not string you along. How dare you even say that?.¡± Her words hit me square in my face. How dare I say it? I am only saying what she has been too scared to say herself. She has been doing this for all the wrong reasons. Then she wants to y it on me, that she is doing this for me. I do not think she herself knows why she finds herself here in any case. This only brings the anger that was raging earlier in my heart back to show its ugly head again. ¡°Then tell me, why are you here, in Pendleton?¡± ¡°I wanted to be here for you.¡± ¡°See, that is your problem; you are doing it because of me, not because you truly want to be here.¡± ¡°I do want to be here.¡± ¡°Yes, only to please me. Well, you need not please me anymore.¡± ¡°Come on, Ethan, don¡¯t be like this.¡± ¡°Be like what? The moment Paul shows up here, you call the wedding off.¡± I watch her face as she is obviously trying to find the right words to say. She knows I am angry and does not want to make it any worse than it already is. Well, I am afraid it has already gotten as worse as what it can get. Then shees with the same words that she has been repeating for the past few hours. ¡°I just think that we are doing it for the wrong reasons.¡± ¡°Oh, god forbid I want to marry you because I love you. Is that such a wrong reason?.¡± The pain immediately irs up in her face, but it is not a pain that shows that she is hurt; it is a pain that shows her words run true, that she did truly meant every word that she said. Perhaps she did not mean for it toe out the way that it did. ¡°Soldier, please.¡± ¡°Do not soldier me; you lost that privilege a few hours ago. Now if you shall excuse me, I have got somewhere else to be.¡± ¡°Ethan, please stop!¡± ¡°No, Ana, it is over!¡± With that, I leave the room and whatever there was between Ana and me. My heart slowly dies with each deafening beat, but I hold up my chin and swallow any emotion that was in my eyes. I am Ethan Hunter; I am a Marine; I do not show emotion. I experience no pain and are not overly happy. I am here to follow my dream, and if it does not include a woman that I love, then so be it. And it is with this thought in mind that I settle myself on the couch for the night. My family will be here until tomorrow night, so I shall spend as much time as I can with them before I move over to what shall be my new home until deployment. As for what happens to Ana, I truly hope she gets that transfer she wants, for I¡¯m not taking her back even if she begs. She broke my heart for the second time, who says there won¡¯t be a third. But much to my irritation, shees during the night to try and get me to talk again. There used to be a time when I found her determination rather appealing to her character, but now it is only making me mad. I know that I have been fairly rude to her, but if I give in now, then it means that I say that it is eptable to treat me this way. Yes, she too has feelings, but sometimes put yours aside and think what those next words thate from your lips are going to do to someone else. ¡°Soldier, I just want you to answer me a question.¡± ¡°It is Ethan, and what do you want, Ana?¡± ¡°Is it really over between us?¡± Chapter 35 Love From A Distance ¡­Ana POV¡­ They say that sometimes you have to love someone from a distance, give them space, and get their heads straight beforeing back into your life. It has been three days now; every part of my being was hoping that I would have heard from Ethan by now, but nothing. Not a call, not even an angry message, nothing at all. I sat here in silence and watched him as he packed all his things in two suitcases. Not even hourster, he was out the door. One thing that he did not take along with him was my heart. He had, with one final resolve, detached himself from it. Today we are to meet up for a briefing before we ship out. This means that I shall be forced to see him today. Much to my disappointment, and I am sure Ethan¡¯s too, Ray could not get me a transfer. I shall be stationed with Ethan¡¯s toon for the next six months. Katarina has been staying here for these past couple of days; she is most frustratingly trying me to get dressed up so that I can get Ethan¡¯s attention. ¡°Come on, girl, show the man what he is missing out on.¡± ¡°If the man was missing this, don¡¯t you think he would have called by now?¡± ¡°He just needs a push in the right direction.¡± ¡°Yes, as far away as possible from me.¡± ¡°I thought you were damn stubborn, but this boy beats you hands down. Still, show the man what he is missing out on.¡± ¡°Urgh. I am so going to regret this.¡± I go to scratch in my closet for a pair of tights that I know he likes; it is a pair of denim that sits really tight around my ass. I remember the day when he struggled to get me out of them. I wasughing so hard; he did not find it quite that funny, for he was even harder, just waiting to burst. He got so frustrated whenever he tried to pull; I kept wiggling my ass. I doubt he will even notice it. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the single person that you thought would not hurt you. I know that I should forgive and move on, but my heart is hurting like a bitch. I know I will one day, but today is not going to be that day. To make it worse, I am being forced to be in the same room as her today. Ray could not get her a transfer; if you ask me, he did it on purpose. It does not change the reason why I am really here. I have made my decision; I am not going back. But of course, I have Gibbs that is grinding my ass about it. He is telling me some shit about looking irresistible just to rub it in her face and show her what she has messed up. ¡°I am telling you, man, show some skin. It is going to drive the chick mad.¡± ¡°Thest thing I want is to drive the woman anything. The only driving that is going to happen is me up against a wall.¡± ¡°Yeah, like pinning you to a wall while having her way with you.¡± ¡°You have two chances of that happening.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s guess¡­ slim to fuck all.¡± ¡°Exactly. I have told you I am done; I am not falling for it for a third time.¡± ¡°Still does not mean you should not rub it in her face.¡± ¡°Fine, I will show some skin. You better hope it does not blow up in my face.¡± I grab a white button-up shirt from my closet and throw on a pair of ck paints that sits tight enough around my ass. Four buttons open and one very hard-muscled chest bulging from it, Gibbs nods his approval, and we are ready to go. ¡­Ana POV¡­ I am silently sitting here in the corner, trying not to be noticed when in walks Ethan. If I say that my heart did not skip a beat, then I would be lying. He is looking devilishly handsome. Now he knows how my knees crumble when I see that hard-muscled chest that is so freely on disy at the moment. I am shy to admit, but all I can think of his running my fingers over it and getpletely lost in him. And of course, he has to walk past close to where I am sitting; if I did not know him better, then I would swear that he is doing it on purpose. But I have got to know Gibbsand and Williams a lot better; I know that one of them has put him up to this. But wait, they are not finished yet; for now, Ray and Ricky are joining the charade. And what is even better is now this group of drop-dead handsome men are walking on over to where I am sitting. The purpose was not to be seen; guess that blew up in my face. It is Ray that greets me the first.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g ¡°Hey, Ana. I believe you have met all the boys?¡± ¡°Yes, I believe so. Please do not tell me that I am the only woman with this toon?¡± ¡°There is Lucy, but I still need to confirm.¡± Then Hunter, as they call him, feels he should have a word to say. His damn husky voice nearly sends me over the edge. When did he get so goddamn sexy? It is like this is apletely different Ethan than the one I have gotten to know. ¡°I am sure Ana knows how to handle a bunch of men.¡± ¡°Yes, of course, I know how to handle a bunch of soldiers.¡± ¡°I am sure you do.¡± Is he for real? Is he going to take me on in front of everybody here? He surely won¡¯t have a go at me like this? Well, I am not going to keep my mouth shut for some damn hot squad leader that is an arrogant asshole. ¡°Well, as long as they know their ce.¡± ¡°And that is probably at your feet.¡± ¡°I prefer my men to look me in the eye.¡± ¡°As long as they can look past those pretty brown eyes.¡± ¡°Are you saying my eyes are pretty, Hunter?¡± ¡°No, it is what is behind them that they need to look out for.¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ Who does she think she ising looking like that? If she thinks it shall make me look at her twice, she is sadly mistaken. I am only looking at her now because I am being forced to do so. She might fool these men with that body and those brown eyes; she ain¡¯t fooling me with any of that superficial shit again. And in saying that, her heart is just as cold as that bottle of water she is holding. One thing that I am d for is that she is part of the medical staff. I need not have to deal with her unless I am injured, and even then, there is Lucy. The less I have to see her for these six months, the better it would suit me. And even these five minutes have been too long. Best is that I leave now before I really say something that both of us will regret. ¡°Well, I enjoyed the chat Ana, but the boys have other things to do.¡± ¡°Boys? Are you not good enough to be men?¡± ¡°If we are boys, then you will leave us alone since you prefer men.¡± I see as Ray looks at me with a wicked smile on his face. He is up to something, and I am about to find out. Much to myplete horror, he goes and does the unthinkable ¡°The four of you boys shall sit here with Ana to make her feel at home and keep the rest of these boys away from her.¡± ¡°We are marines Ray, not babysitters.¡± ¡°For the next five hours, you are.¡± I know what he is doing, and it is not going to work. And as for these three assholes that have conveniently left the only avable chair open for me next to her. ¡°Thank you, guys; you are going to wish you did not do this tomorrow after I conveniently forget how to count.¡± They only butugh me off as I take my seat next to the woman that I am trying to get the furthest from. ¡°Can we just be civilized for the next five hours?¡± ¡°Ray said I must sit here; I don¡¯t have to talk to you.¡± ¡°Do you always have to be so impossible?¡± ¡°Do you always have to break people that love you into pieces?¡± ¡°What did you say?¡± ¡°Are you going deaf now too?¡± ¡°You said you love me.¡± ¡°I did not.¡± ¡°Ethan, you know you did.¡± ¡°So what if I did Ana, still does not change the fact that I do not want to be with you.¡± ¡°How can you love someone and not want to be with them?¡± ¡°It is easy. Do you want me to show you?¡± Chapter 36 Swallowed By Your Kisses Give a man enough rope, and he shall hang himself with it. That is what I clearly have in mind as I decide to show Ana how one can love someone and not wanted to be with them, for this brave marine has just nted his lips squarely on top of hers. She still tries to speak, but I suddenly cover her mouth with mine and make her stop. Unable to contain myself anymore, I pull her into a fiery and passionate kiss. All my thoughts are obliterated, and the world gives away. It is a sensual dance of lips¡­ but this¡­ I want more. I slip through her lips and entwine her into a deeper kiss. Then the kiss starts growing greedier, our mouths are locked together, and it feels like I am walking on air. Nothing around us matters, it is just me and her engulfed in this moment, in this perfect kiss. After what seems for more than a minute, we finally pull away. There is nothing that felt more natural than having her lips rub against my very much trembling and ever so angry ones. The kiss was not soft and gentle; it was demanding and raw, filled with nothing but anger. Itcked all the passion it should, for my mouth was clearly trying to prove a statement. The need was there to devour her and take all that she could offer. As I delved through her lips and imed her mouth, I did feel the undeniable heat build within my core. But I have taken my red cheeks and nted my ass on the other side of Williams on a chair that is now not even far away enough from her. I do expect the full wrath of Ray toe down on me as soon as this is over. What I was thinking I do not know; maybe I just wanted to keep her quiet because she was bound to carrying on with me. Or there could be the slightest possibility that I missed her lips; it does not mean that I miss her or are for any reason forgiving her for what she has done. What is for sure is the next few hours will be torture, and something does give me the idea that it is yet to get very interesting. And two hours in, when breaking for half an hour, Ray and the very one and only Anaes up to our group. He is eithering going toe down on me for the stunt I just pulled, or we are about to y babysitters again. ¡°I see you left something behind. Now, if that were your gun, then you would be dead.¡± ¡°Seriously, Ray? She is a grown woman; she can look after herself.¡± ¡°Fair enough then, I shall seat her with MacKey and his squad.¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. With that, Ray leaves with Ana and go on over to Robert MacKey and his squad. I have never quite sat around the same table as him, for he is an arrogant asshole. He will love every minute of this and draw as much emotion as he can from me. And of course, Gibbs has his two cents worth to add and clearly states the obvious. ¡°Man you just drove her into another man¡¯s arms.¡± ¡°Hey is she wants to go for it, then she should. Who am I to hold her back.¡± ¡°You know Mackey is going to milk it for all that it is worth it.¡± ¡°It does not bug me the least bit. Maybe it is time that she gets some of her own medicine back.¡± And then old Williams finds the humor in this whole messed up situation by pointing out what I just said. ¡°Did you see what you just did there?¡± ¡°No, but I am sure your dumb ass is going to point it out to me.¡± ¡°Give her some medicine.¡± ¡°Yes, and?¡± ¡°She is a nurse.¡± ¡°Oh god, only can find that funny. Let¡¯s just get back inside before Ray changes his mind about babysitting his damn hot nurse.¡± ¡°Man I think you just said that out loud.¡± ¡°For fuck sakes, stop grinding my ass and get back to your seat.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ I cannot believe that Ethan will allow me to be seated with another man. Don¡¯t know who is smiling the most? Ethan, for getting rid of me, or Robert MacKey, that is about to piss him off as much as he can. These two men do not like each other the least bit. But to me, I do not see why Ethan has got anything against Robert, except that he is a big flirt, which I do hope will drive Ethan insane. ¡°So I hear you used to be Hunter¡¯s girl?¡± ¡°I guess I should not be surprised that news travels so fast around here.¡± ¡°Well, after that kiss, I would say that you still are.¡± ¡°The man just likes proving a point, and do I need to add at the most inappropriate times.¡± ¡°That I know everything about; we have not always seen eye to eye.¡± ¡°Well, then I guess this is going to piss him off.¡± I nce over to where Ethan is sitting and am much surprised to see that he is not even looking on over to me. His attention is fully on Williams that has, by the looks of things, just cracked some stupid wise ass joke. Does this man seriously hate me this much? I guess hate is too much of a harsh word to say, but Ethan does not even as much as winks in my direction. Was what that damn kiss then about? Just him trying to prove a point that he can love me but in the same breath not want anything to do with me. I will not lie, but I have missed his lips for one day too many now. The kiss might have been raw and unexpected, but itcked the passion we used to have. I guess it is true then that he might just be moving on without me. I am ripped from my thoughts by Robert tapping me on the tip of my shoulder. ¡°Sorry, Robert, what is it that you said?¡± ¡°I asked if you want to join the squad and me for a drink after all this is done?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know if that is such a good idea with Ethan, for I am sure that he shall probably be going to the same ce.¡± ¡°Come on, it is only a drink; the whole toon will most probably be there, so there is nothing funny about this. So what do you say? Will you join us?¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ The damn asshole has his hands on her; if he values those fingers, then he best gets it off from her. I can see she is watching me to see if I am watching her. Being a soldier, you are taught to look everywhere without blinking in the other direction. If she can only see the white, my knuckles are turning from balling my fists outplete frustration. I am even sure Gibbs can hear me grind my teeth as I have to sit and watch the two of them so casuallyughing. If Ray thinks he has aplished what he set out to do, then he is sadly mistaken. It just shows me once again how much she disregards other people¡¯s feelings. If she was so set on flirting with MacKey, so could have at least do it without me being present. She has once again proven her point that she does not want to be with me. All of a sudden, I feel Ricky p me against the arm. ¡°Hey can you not hear me calling you? Or are you thinking of some hot nurse again?¡± ¡°If you value your kneecaps, then I suggest you keep yourments to yourself.¡± ¡°In love and violent, the perfectbination for a marine that is just about to deploy.¡± ¡°Just shut the fuck up and tell me what you were saying.¡± ¡°Should I shut up or speak? Which one do you want me to do?¡± ¡°Stop grinding my ass. What do you want?¡± ¡°Are youing out with us for a drink after this?¡± Now the question begs, will Ana be going there as well? Is she going with Ray or even go as far as to piss me off and go with MacKey? Chapter 37 Games Men Play ¡­Ana POV¡­ I don¡¯t know what Ethan¡¯s game is, but if he thinks his rude cocky behavior will affect me, he has another thinging. He knows that he is being unreasonable, but being the stubborn soldier that he is, he will not be the first one to admit that he is wrong. And me being the strong-willed woman that I am, I shall not be the one that will be giving in either. So this is foolishly leading me to agree to something that I would have never agreed to in the first ce. ¡°Yes, I will join you for a drink, but you know this is going to grind Ethan?¡± ¡°Anything that pisses Hunter off gives me pleasure.¡± ¡°I was afraid you were going to say that.¡± ¡°Come one; there is a part of you that wants that?¡± ¡°Ok maybe a small part.¡± And with that, I see MacKey smile what can even be wider than his face. This is about to go so many ways south, and I will be caught in the middle of it. But hey, a bit of fun for the boys on the eve of us being deployed. I just wish me and Ethan could have resolved our problems before then. As things stand, we are going into this alone; we were looking forward to doing it together. With that thought in mind, I follow MacKey and his squad outside, where we all start to head towards the pub. I can see out the corner of my eye that it has caught Ethan¡¯s attention, but by the nk look on his face, I am not sure what he is thinking, let alone feeling. The walk to the pub is pretty joyful, but it is somewhat stressful for me, for I don¡¯t know what will happen when these boys have had a few to drink. I might just be tonight¡¯s trophy and, even worse, the reason for a fight. Something in the back of my head is telling me that I should rather have gone home. As we step our way into the door, I am horrified to see MacKey take a seat only but one table apart from him and Ethan. If I ever doubted, now I know that nothing good is going toe out from tonight. But I still try and plead with MacKey, which only falls onto death ears. Do these two really hate each other this much? In fact, why do they hate each other in the first ce? ¡°So Robert, tell me why you two do not like each other? I mean, some friendlypetition should not go this far?¡± I do so wish that I kept my mouth shut, for what he says next is not what I suspected at all. ¡°Hunter stole my girl.¡± I cannot help but burst out inughter. Does Ethan Hunter steal someone¡¯s girl? My god is so innocent and pure that I cannot even imagine him doing such a thing like that. But I have seen another Ethan these past few days; I might not dismiss it so easily. But I am curious now; I know I should not pry, but this is a part of Ethan¡¯s life I know nothing of. ¡°So was it a girl on base?¡± ¡°Yes, in fact, she was a nurse too.¡± ¡°I never knew that he had not told me of any woman before.¡± ¡°Maybe his ass felt bad for stealing her from me.¡± ¡°Why would he go as far as ¡®steal¡¯ someone from you. I mean, she was obviously not that important if she is not around anymore?¡± ¡°Oh, she was important to him.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°They were engaged.¡± And those words there knocks mepletely off my feet. Not once has Ethan told me about and definitely not that he was engaged before. I guess I do not know him after all, and maybe it is better if we stay apart. With that memory stuck in my head, I do what one does when one wants to forget; I get drunk. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ That is the fourth tequ she has thrown back. Now I know that she can handle her alcohol, but she is not going to be able to walk at this rate. Something must have upset her, for I know she only drinks like that if she is mad. I will tten MacKey¡¯s face if he is the reason behind it. But why do I care? She chose to sit with them; she could have at least gone and sat with someone like Ray. And to top it off, they had toe to sit so damn close, but not close enough for me to have heard what it is that has her so upset. And of course, my fingers have their own problem for I take my phone and message her. ¡°Are you okay?¡± I watch as she stares at her phone, not knowing if she should respond or not. But me being persistent, I message her again. ¡°I know you are upset; you only drink like that when you are upset.¡± Then still nothing. And nothing and even more of nothing. I ignore the fact that this will even piss her off more and message her again. ¡°If you don¡¯t want to message me, then at least talk to me.¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. She still ignores me; she just stares at her phone, most probably deleting every single message she gets from me. But then I see her excuse herself and make her way to thedies. I do not even hesitate and get up to follow her, trying not to let is look obvious, but I do not think that I seed as a few faces smile at me as I pass them. Once I step into the restroom, I close the door behind me and make sure to lock it. She spins on her heels and faces me. ¡°What are you doing, Ethan? This is thedies, can¡¯t you read?¡± ¡°I think watching you throw back all those tequs has made me blind.¡± ¡°It is not your concern what I do. Please leave.¡± ¡°When ites to men like Robert MacKey and you, then it is my concern.¡± ¡°Please just leave.¡± I shake my head as I slowly step two steps towards her. She reacts by stepping two steps back. I move forward another length, and she slides back. As I close more of the distance between us, she steps back into the wall behind her. With her nowhere to go, I finally walk my hard chest up against her supple breasts. ¡°Ethan?¡± ¡°Ssshhh.¡± ¡°What are you doing?¡± I do not answer but respond by pinning her body between my arms. Her breathing is hot and heavy as she tries to whisper my name. ¡°Ethan.¡± With every breath, every wink, every inch, I move my lips closer to hers. I close that final gap between our hesitating lips. Hesitating, not truly, for I really want this with every craving bone in my body. And it is those cravings that make me ce my lips gently against hers. This feels even better than before. Her lips are so damn soft; it feels like a thousand feathers are tickling my lips. Then ever so soft and sensual, I brush my lips against hers. I bite and nip and nibble, and she returns the pleasure with a low moan. I slide my hands down her waist and rest them at the small of her back. She moves and arches into my body; I moan at the contact and the heat of our bodies so close against each other. My mouth moves away from her lips and runs slowly down her neck; I rub them gently over her corbone and softly bite into the edge of her shoulders. I grind myself into her as I move my lips to her ear. ¡°Ana.¡± I move back to her lips. She takes my face between her hands and scrunches her fingers in my hair. I go to tangle my fingers in her hair and pull her lips even closer to mine. This time when she moans, I am right behind her answering her with my very own growl. I can see her eyes are burning with lust and a deep hunger. ¡°Come home with me, boo.¡± But then she knocks mepletely out of left field. ¡°Who is Emily? Chapter 38 The Hour Has Come Well, talk about a mood killer, throw an ex-girlfriend¡¯s name into a heated moment. But let us forget about that for a second. How does she even know about it? ¡°Of course, MacKey could not help himself. So what did he so kindly say?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know, like maybe that you were engaged?¡± ¡°And I bet you that he said that I stole his girl?¡± ¡°Yes, he did mention it. So care to exin to me why you never told me about it?¡± Now is this something that I truly want to discuss with my ex-fiance? I know we said no more secrets and no more lies, but that is a part of my time here at Pendleton that I would like to forget. The thing is not even my parents know, so do I really want to tell her. Then again, I should not have to say anything, for there is no rtionship between us anymore. ¡°Well let¡¯s see, I don¡¯t see why I need to tell you anything.¡± ¡°Maybe because we are in a rtionship and we should tell each other everything?¡± ¡°See, that is where you are wrong; there is nothing between us. So maybe ask MacKey to tell you his version.¡± With that, I turn around and make my way out of the bathroom. I grab my things from my table and leave to go home. We need to be up early, so I might as well hit the sack now. But the anger is now boiling up inside of me. Does nobody know what a damn secret means? Not that it is a secret, well only to Ana it is. Now the thing with Emily is, I met her on my secondst deployment; she was obviously part of the nursing staff. So I found myself one day needing some stitches; I was very reluctantly sent to have it done. The moment I set my eyes on the beautiful petite girl, she knocked my feet right from under me. And with that, I found myself going to the nurse¡¯s station more often. After four months out in the field, we went back home, and she moved in. Then we went out on thatst fateful mission. She remained by my side for only a month after I lost my leg. She could not bear having to live with such a big responsibility. Not that she had to do anything, so yes, she broke the engagement off while I was still in the hospital. But now, where does MacKeye in? Well, the man saw her at the nurse¡¯s station just like I did. While he was trying to get her to spend time with him, she grew interested in me instead. So the man reckons that she belonged to him. Now is that anything that Ana needs to know? I¡¯d say I have two failed engagements. I am not looking for a third one. So with that in mind, I climb into bed. I am not discussing it any further with anybody. ¡­. Ana POV¡­ What a shutdown; just when I thought that he could not get any colder, he goes and do that. Yes, it is really none of my concern, but I would love to think that we stopped having secrets. But forget about that, that kiss, I have never been kissed like that by him before. He is an entirely different man out here. Does it bother me? Which do I prefer? Well, I can honestly say I like the real Marine a bit more than the boy at home. Or maybe both. So it is with that in mind that I rather make my way back home. It is an early rise, and I might even be able to catch him before we leave just to say that I am so sorry for overstepping the line. But the night brings only restless sleep, so I find my way up and down, back and forth between the kitchen and my bedroom. It is only an hour after pacing that I finally fall asleep on the couch in the lounge. And before I know it, I am packing my one and only bag; with each breath, I remind myself that everything will be fine. I am working myself up for no reason at all. So when the clock strikes four, I have Ray knocking at my door. ¡°Hey, Ana.¡± ¡°Are you not supposed to call me Jenkins now?¡± ¡°It just sounds wrong when you call a woman by herst name.¡± ¡°Hahaha. Let me grab my stuff; then we can go.¡± Ray, or I should rather say Evans, takes my bag from me and ces it in the back of his car. With a heavy heart, I give my ce a oncest over. Theforts here shall be just a faint memory as I give it up for something far less small. A tent is not my ideal home, but as of a few days ago, I was looking forward to spends this experience with Ethan. Now I ampletely alone. A few minutester, we stop at the bus where the rest of the toon is waiting. I immediately look for Ethan; at first, I do not see him, but then I hear hisughtere out from the middle where he is standing with his squad. I can see the happiness on his face; this is what he lives for; this is his dream. And if I only get to experience that for the next couple of months, then that will make me happy. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ I am looking at Ana, where she is standing all by herself; she does not seem to share the same happiness that the rest of the toon is feeling. Then again, it is a dream and desire that she does not share like the rest of us here. She has, after all, done this for me. So I stick my pride in my sock and walk over to her where she is standing. ¡°Ana.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Pleasee stand there with us.¡± ¡°No thanks, I am okay here.¡± ¡°Listen, I know we hate each other, but you are part of this toon, and it is our responsibility to look after you.¡± ¡°Wow, I really feel special now.¡± ¡°Sarcastic does not suit your face. Now please, I don¡¯t want to see you end up with MacKey.¡±This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. With that, she follows me as we start to file into the bus. Much to my surprise, she takes a seat right next to me. I look at her big brown eyes, and all I see is terror hiding deep in it. I take her hands into mine, and she nearly jumps off her chair as she gets a fright. ¡°Hey boo¡­ shit¡­ Ana¡­ fuck¡­ Jenkins¡­ Ugh! Now I look like a fumbling idiot. Why does she have my head in a t spin again? I am supposed to be mad at her. Maybe I am just concerned about her; yes, I think it is just that. ¡°What I am trying to say is that everything is going to be okay. I will be here for you every step of the way.¡± ¡°Thank you, sold¡­ damn thesest names¡­ I mean, Hunter.¡± ¡°Hahaha. It looks like both of us had a bit of stupid to drinkst night.¡± And that is how we sit, me holding her hand while we make the short drive to the airforce base. Then as we line up to get on thebat aircraft that shall take us to where we need to be, everything bes a reality. The adrenaline starts pumping, the warmth of pure happiness consumes my heart. This is what I have worked and lived for since I was eighteen. To be back here means more than even the world to me. As before, I take Ana¡¯s hand and let here take a seat next to me. I make sure she is strapped in and that her shoot is working as it should be. I finally sit down after checking on my squad. And before I can even think, the words escape my lips. ¡°I love you; I will not let anything happen to you.¡± I hear her voice tremble, but when she sees that the tears are threatening to roll, she decides against speaking. And then¡­ we take off. She looks a lot less stressed now and is able to speak. ¡°I am sorry if I hurt you. Thanks for looking out for me.¡± ¡°And I am sorry for not telling you everything.¡± ¡°So where to from here?¡± ¡°I am going to need time; my head must be in the game. Our rtionship has been distracting me.¡± Ouch! That has to hurt. The truth is that I am still hurting, and I don¡¯t know if I can stand to be hurt again. I love her, and I will look after her with my life, but I can not promise anything more than that. So she takes this as well as she can, and I start to prepare her mentally for what is awaiting us. She is trained, but nothing teaches you from not being scared, especially for what happened to Mark. After several hours of flight and one-stop, we receive instructions to get ready. And one by one, we drop out of the ne. I watch as each member of the toon decent to the ground. Then finally it is Ana¡¯s turn; I lead her up to the door. ¡°I am right behind you.¡± But she freezes stiff and does not move a limb¡­ ¡°I cannot do this.¡± Chapter 39 Second Thoughts ¡­Ana POV¡­ Of all the times, now, I decide to panic; I have done this before. I was trained to do this; I knew that this would be part of it. But no, now I find the need to freeze up. Do I not want to do this because I am not doing it with Ethan anymore or because I never truly wanted to do it in the first ce at all? Either way, I will let him down, but will it really bother him so much, seeing that he truly does not want me around. The thing is, I am the only nurse, so in a way, I am letting this entire toon down. Do I really want to be that person? But now I have Ethan standing all confused in front of me; what do I even begin to tell him. The longer I hold us up, the further we move away from the drop point. So I guess it is time that I make up my mind.Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org. ¡°Ethan, I can¡¯t do this.¡± ¡°Ana, what do you mean you can¡¯t do this? Is this not why you are here?¡± ¡°We both know what the reason is why I am here.¡± ¡°Well, I don¡¯t know what to say to you; I told you I would figure it out. I need time.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know if I have time to wait.¡± ¡°You need to find it, for you are now not only letting me down but this entire toon.¡± And if I thought he was going to be sympathetic, then I am sadly mistaken. I guess, in a way, he has all the right to be mad. He asked me on many asions if you wanted to do this, and I reassured him every time that it is what I wanted to do. But now I stand here not making a move at all. I hate that I have be so dependent on a man that I cannot live without him around. Well, he is around. He just does not want me around. ¡°Ana, you are wasting time. We are going to miss the drop off point, and you know there is no margin for error here. And I do not think I need to remind you that you havemitted yourself; there is no way that you are getting out of it.¡± Yes, that minor detail I did forget; I am stuck here whether I like it or not. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ I understand that she is scared; we all are afraid, we chose to do this, and this is what we should do. She seems to forget the bigger picture here; we are doing this to save the lives of others. That is what it is to be a Marine, in fact, any Seal, any Soldier, any man and woman that is there to serve their country. Do I even dare to say that she is being selfish? All I know is that she is not the Ana I fell in love with. Does pressure truly bring out who a person really is? In all honestly, I cannot stand here and try to convince a woman to do something that she does not want to do. And I am not giving up my dream now, not now when I am already living it. I am not going to let her make me chose again. I am afraid to say, even though it does hurt, that I am leaving her behind. ¡°Ana, believe me, that I am sorry when I say this, but I am leaving you here. I need to drop out now.¡± ¡°I am sorry, Ethan.¡± And with that, it is thest words I will hear from her. If she will be at Pendleton when I get back, that I don¡¯t know. But I think, and I can say with tears in my eyes, that this will be thest time that I will see her. But before I drop out, I turn to her, not that the words mean anything anymore. ¡°I love you, Ana.¡± Then¡­one¡­two¡­ three¡­ I jump out of the ne, leaving a part of my life behind that I thought would have repaired itself after a while. Guess, as she said, she does not have the patience to wait. Now, as all of these sad thoughts subside, there is clear anger that builds up inside. She has not only let Ray down, but she has embarrassed me. Should I have been more sympathetic? Sympathy only goes so far. So as I look down at the ocean below, with the ground fast approaching, I chose to set the hurt and anger behind and fill myself with a newfound strength to serve and be the best Marine that I can be. But apart from a new purpose, I find that sense of joy that was crushed into pieces but only a few minutes ago. I cannot worry about Ana; it will destroy me, and more importantly, it will take my head out of the game, and that is when things start going wrong, and people get hurt. Before I hit that ground, my mind will be clear, that is, until I tell Ray that Ana stayed behind. And I think he might juste down on me as well. After freefalling for about sixty seconds, I deploy my chute. Then move in for an easynding on the shore, sliding my feet gently over the sand until Ie to a stop. There waiting for me is my squad; the worry on their faces disappear as a give them a cocky smile. ¡°Hey, I had to make an entrance.¡± Gibbs burst outughing, but it is Williams who notices that I am alone. ¡°Where is Ana?¡± ¡°She could not do it.¡± ¡°So you left her behind?¡± ¡°Yes, I did; she is on the ne; she is safe. They will take her back to Pendleton.¡± ¡°Damn, Ray is going to be pissed.¡± Now he just had to go remind me about that; the thing is, it might be ugly to say, but we are not together; there is no reason I should be med for what she does. ¡°Well, there is nothing I can do about it; I did try to talk sense into her. Now let¡¯s get our asses to camp; thest thing we need to do is piss Ray off because we are behind.¡± I take a deep breath; this is now more real than it was before. As I face my squad while they fall in line behind me, I feel a sense of pride build deep in my chest. But what else needs to take its ce is fear; the fear of the enemy is what is going to keep us on our toes. Confidence but not too overconfident for I of anyone should know how easily things can change in an instant. So we start making our way through the dense forest that twists and turns. Beyond this ugly war that is raging in these cities, one cannot help but stop and take note of the beauty that is all around. If Ana only saw this, then she would understand why she is here. That not everything here is ugly and scary. And not only that, these men would have never let anything happen to her. She does not need to be in a rtionship with me to feel safe. After what seems like hours, and probably was, after seeing some questionable animals, or I should rather say creatures. After some scary pathways that I thought were leading us into no way at all. But let us not forget how unbearable the weather has been since we havended. Nothing here is a constant. But one thing that has not changed is the feeling of a different kind of home as we finally step into camp. The first thing I do is find Ray; I need to give him the horrible news of Ana. But unfortunately, my path crosses with MacKay instead that has the most awful smirk on his face that I so wish I can p off. But hey, there is always tripping himter tonight on the way to messhall. However, there is something more to this stupid smile. ¡°What is your stupid smiling about?¡± ¡°Oh, I just came back from seeing the nurse; I must say she is quite a hottie.¡± ¡°The nurse? Which nurse?¡± Just then, I feel a soft hand that I am very familiar with touch my shoulder. ¡°Hi, Ethan.¡± Chapter 40 Gone Awol I feel her soft hand gently rest on my shoulder; I can hardly believe that it is her voice that I hearing from behind me. I cannot help but bring a smile to my face. The woman has indeed done something that is hard to forgive, but I will honestly say that I am pleasantly surprised to hear that she is here. Though I never saw her jump off the ne, I am sure I would not have missed something such as a thing. So without hesitating, I immediately turn around to greet her, and as I turn around, I cannot believe that it is her that I am truly seeing. ¡°Hi, Emily.¡± ¡°Hi, Ethan. I cannot believe it is you; when Ray told me that you would be here, I thought he was just joking around with me.¡± ¡°I did not see you on the ne?¡± ¡°I flew in yesterday; I wanted toe to check that we have all the supplies that we will need.¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Well, it was great to see you, but I was actually looking for Ray. Have you seen him?¡± ¡°He is busy with a briefing. You can save me from MacKey and have a coffee in the messhall?¡± ¡°Uhm¡­I guess why not.¡± I watch as she walks off in front of me; as she whisks past me, the sweet scent of jasmine and vani fills my senses. I have forgotten how soft she smells and how softer she feels; touching her feels likeying your skin in a fluffy cloud; not only is it refreshing, but itforts you in ways that not many women can do. But if I thought that I had not one inch of emotion towards her left, the way that her dress res in the cold breeze set my hormones racing on apletely different mission. To think that this beauty was going to be my wife does fill me with short-lived happiness. Or is it just the feeling of seeing someone that I once deeply loved? I will and cannot ever hold what she did to me against her. But just as with Ana, I will not allow her to creep under my skin and make me fall for her again. The thought has not yet run its course, and she reaches out for my hand as we sit down. And I can honestly say that there are more than a few things that shall be standing at attention today. Well, then, on top of that, this dumb Marine builds one rather big smirk on his face. ¡°Emily.¡± ¡°Ethan, I want to say sorry for the way I left you that day. None of all those excuses that I came up with do justify what I did to you.¡± ¡°You left me when I needed you the most. I would have sat better if you left me for MacKey, but the way you left hurt more than my leg ever did.¡± ¡°I could find so many excuses for leaving, but the biggest excuse, I was stupid and selfish.¡± I watch as those words flow over her sweet cherry lips, I have wanted to tell her it so many times after that day that she was selfish. But here, now, in front of me, when I look into her sharp blue eyes, I cannot find one ugly word to say to her. ¡°Emily, that is in the past. We are going to be here for a long time, and thest thing I want to do is hate you every minute.¡± In saying that, I think I havee to the closure that I needed with Emily. Does it make me any less of a man that I can forgive the woman that hurt me so much? Or does it make me a stronger man to not let them do that to me again? Well, maybe in a way, it does now seem like the better option if Ana was not here. ¡­Ana POV¡­ All I had to do is stick it out and be a woman true to my word, but I ran away like a coward the same way I did after Mark¡¯s death. The same way I ran away when the reality of a new beginning was too hard for me to face. I want to be with a man that defines the word strong, and I am like a weakling lying at his feet. I do believe the reality, in fact, is that Ethan deserves a woman that is far stronger than me. As I watched him drop out of the ne, I believe that the final connection that was between us went away. I do not know what made me think that Ethan would be that man that would alwayse back begging for me to take him back. Well, it seems that I have underestimated the real Marine that was hidden in his heart. Whatever made me think that I can let a man with a passion and dream give up everything he has been working for his whole life. How can I expect him to be with a woman that does not appreciate what was given to her after it was alreadyte? I had the opportunity to make things better, even if we were just friends, and this is what I do. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ When one door closes, they say that there is another one that will open and bring a new possibility to your life. Can rtionships turn into friendships after so much heartache was suffered by the people you think loved you the most? Sitting here, I have the face of Ana ying over in my mind, the way she rejected me for the second time in so many days. Are we destined to be together, or are we destined just to be friends? But in saying this, here I have Emily so goddamn beautiful than I have ever seen her before. Now, what is our destiny? Perhaps this is not something that one should think of when your heart is in pieces, but most of all, when you are a Marine on a mission. So with my head back in the game, I sadly leave Emily behind and go to seek my squad instead. And as I get to Gibbs, he does seem to have grown a stupid smirk on his face again. ¡°So I see you have a little Emily problem over there?¡± ¡°Little, me, little? You know what they say about men that need topensate for something theyck.¡± ¡°And exactly what is it that youck?¡± ¡°A leg, you damn idiot.¡± ¡°Ha! That does not count. So tell me, how is the old girl.¡± ¡°Not very old, in fact, fairly young and much prettier than I can remember.¡± Then from behind, Gibbs steps Williams, who just by the stupid look on his face is about to say something ridiculous which only he will find funny. ¡°Hey, can you stop banging all the nurses!¡± With not even an arm¡¯s leg away, all it takes is¡­one.. two¡­wham! He nearly falls t on his ass; at least, he causes the rest of the toon tough under the almost unbearable tension that they feel. As I look over onto the rows of green canvas tents, nted in the muddy ground, surrounded by the lush trees in practically almost nowhere, I feel that feeling creeps into me once again. It is not the feeling of being proud of myself, but that longing that I had to share this with someone else than just my squad. I do believe that this Marine has a tiny problem. So while we are standing and waiting for Ray to finish with his briefing with the boys back at home, Emilyes walking past us again. ¡°Hey Emily,e stand here with us while we wait for Ray toe out.¡± Now, whose face lights up the most is left to be seen, I am ying with fire, and I am going to get burned. I guess there is such a thing as rebound, and I am experiencing that feeling quite strong at the moment, or maybe I am just happy to see her after such a long time. So as she is standing next to me, I see a very confused Raying out of the battle ops tent. I guess I am going to get it from him about Emily as well. The more hees to our squad, it does seem like he looks somewhat upset and irritated. And as hees to a stop in front of our group, it is not with an angry voice, but more of a concerned one that he speaks. ¡°Where is Ana?¡± ¡°Well, she sort of did not want to get off the ne.¡± ¡°What do you mean she did not want to get off the ne?¡± ¡°She said she could not do it, so I left her behind on the ne.¡± ¡°Ethan, I just got off the radio with the ne to make sure they made it out safe; Ana is not on that ne.¡± Chapter 41 Reality Of My Nightmare I have died a thousand tiny deaths in thest second. Now Ana is not an irresponsible person, nor is she crazy enough to do such a thing on her own. But do I even dare and say that she has not been herselftely? Do I even dare to think what Ray said is real? Do I even dare to think that she is somewhere out there alone, she is somewhere, she is in danger, she cannot be there out on her own. Ray must have it wrong! ¡°Sorry, but she¡­ What?¡± ¡°Ana is not on the ne.¡± ¡°Who did she jump with?¡± ¡°I thought she jumped with you!¡± ¡°No! She did not jump! She did not jump with me!¡± ¡°Ethan, she is not on the ne!¡± ¡°Fuck, Ray! Where is she?¡± Every single drop of blood that flows to my brain leaves my face, and it feels as if I can crash to the floor. Everything is spinning out of control; tears are creeping to the corner of my eyes; I am terrified, I am not a man that gets terrified, but this shakes me to my core. I can¡¯t get myself to move; why the fuck can¡¯t I move? I need to find Ana; I need to move! I am going to¡­ ¡°Ray, I need to go back; I need to go look for her. I don¡¯t think she knows where camp is. Please tell me someone told her where camp is?¡± ¡°Ethan, why are you still standing here? Go! Now! Take Williams and Gibbs. Go find her!¡± In less than a minute, we have geared up and ready to move out and track our way back to the beach. God, I just hoped she stayed where someone can find her. Fuck, I don¡¯t even want to think that they have taken her. This is not the first time that I am doing this; I have been on many rescue missions. Why is this one so hard? Why can¡¯t I focus? I can¡¯t think. I am thinking with my heart and not like a Marine. I am losing my grip; if I lose my grip, I lose a life. She should have stayed at home, she should have never deployed, if something happens to her, then I shall die, it will be my fault. All of this would be my fault if I were not such a jerk towards her. She was only trying to fix our rtionship, and I was just pushing her away. She jumped because she thought it is what I want, what I forced her to do. I need to get to her; I need to say sorry. We must get to her; we are walking too slow; we need to move faster. But now it is raining, if we run, then we slip, slipping means slowing us doing, slowing down might be, do I even dare to say, the difference between life and death. God, do I need to think about it? Do I even consider it? No! We will find her; she is on the beach, we will find her. She would have waited for us toe to get her; she knows that I wille to get her, she has to know that, she knows that I love her. I will find her. We are moving as fast as we can through the dense forest to get back to the beach. It is not easy; it is wet, it is going slow, the ground is slippery. With every corner we take around a bush or a tree, I look for her, I check to see if she is not standing in an opening, I check the floor to she that she did not slip. I look for her, everywhere; I hope that wherever I look that I will find her. But nothing, no Ana, not yet. We will find her; she is waiting for us. She knows that she has to wait, we will see, she is at the beach waiting for us. Though we are halfway now, we are still going to slow; we still have not seen her yet. The rain has stopped, we can still not run, it is too wet, I don¡¯t want to fall, that extra minute it takes me to get up is that extra minute that she might not have. That is if they find her, not that they will, but if they find her before us. I need that extra minute; I need every second that I can spare. We are almost there; we are two-thirds of the way, we are so close that I can smell the ocean. We just need to step into that clearing, and we will see her there, she will be there under the tree, sitting on a rock, she will be waiting for me. Maybe she will be hiding in the bushes; she will know that it might not be safe; she might be hiding in the bushes. She has been trained for this; she has done this before. Not jump on her own, but she has done this before. Then we are finally stepping through the clearing. ¡­Ana POV¡­ I can¡¯t believe I did this; I jumped on my own. If I was going to jump, why did I not just jump with Ethan? He is going to kill me when he hears I did this on my own. Wait until he finds me, then I am dead.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g Yes, I don¡¯t know where I am. I have no idea where I am, well I am on the beach, but I don¡¯t know where I must go from here. I was supposed to go with Ethan, he would have taken me to camp. And if he did not, I could have asked MacKey, but no, I do things my way. I jump without fucking knowing where I am. That is the dumbest thing any one person can do. But yes, I do it. I jump on my own. But Ethan wille to find me; I know he wille to look for me as soon as he hears that I am not on the ne. He wille to look for me immediately. He might be mad, but he loves me. I love him. I jumped. For him. Because I love him. He wille to find me. But it is starting to rain now, I will sit on that rock, under that tree, and I will wait for Ethan to find me. I will sit and think about how I can say sorry to him for being so mean. I never wanted to call the wedding off. I was just scared. I did not think. I should have just given it a day, and then I would know that I made a mistake. I did give it a day, and I did make a mistake, but it was toote. Ethan did not want to be with me anymore. I was running from my own demons, but I was pushing Ethan away at the same time. I am selfish; he has gone through a lot more than any man should go. I had no right to sit and whine over my stupid problems. When Ethan gets here, I will tell him how sorry I am, sorry that I broke the wedding off, sorry that I rejected him, and I am sorry for jumping off the ne by myself. He is probably feeling so guilty, but he must be even more worried that he knows that I am here. I am all alone waiting for him here by myself. On top of everything I have done to him, now I do this as well. I can only imagine that he must feel embarrassed to run after his ex-girlfriend, that does not want to jump off a ne. I have hurt him once again. Why do I keep on hurting him? I know he says that he does not care about me anymore, but I do know that he still loves me. But that does not give me the right to treat him the way I do. I am going to tell him how sorry I am. I am going to ask him to give me one more chance. I will do whatever I can to make it up to him. I will prove to him that I am the woman that he fell in love with that day. Then I hear a rustle behind me as someone steps out from the bushes. Chapter 42 Prisoner Of The Enemy It has been the longest hour of my life trying to make the way back to the beach as fast as we can. So I can say as I step onto the beach, and I look left to right and see a very tree with a rock under it, I feel an overwhelming relief set in. But¡­there is nothing, there is not Ana, I cannot see her as far my eyes can travel across the sand. That world that threatened to crash in earlier on looms on the brink again, but I will not show weakness yet. I know that we shall find her if we perhaps take the path that is clearly winding through the forest. Now, if I thought that I could hide disappointment and pain from the two men that know me, then I am sorely mistaken. Gibbses up to me while Williams walks a bit further down to where the rocks are close to the shore. ¡°We will find her, Ethan; she must have wandered off onto the path, thinking that she will find us somehow.¡± ¡°Gibbs, she knows that she should stay put.¡± ¡°And I am sorry to say this; she knows not to jump alone, now this girl is stubborn and desperate to get to you. I don¡¯t think she is thinking straight anymore.¡± ¡°Love is blind, they say, but damn, Ana is goddamn stubborn.¡± ¡°Now, let¡¯s go! We are losing sunlight.¡± After a quick check of the rest of the beach, we set off in the direction of the pathway that takes us back into the forest. ¡­Ana POV¡­ As I turn around, I feel relief set over me. Has Ethan finally found me? But as I turn around, I am shocked to see that it is not Ethan that is behind me. There are three men with guns and army gear on that are headed for the beach, but when they see me, theye in my direction instead. An incredible fear set in, and I know that I am in trouble. If I was not dressed as a Marine, I could have said that I am just sitting here, god knows how I came here, but I am just enjoying the view. But this makes things slightly moreplicated. Now, as theye to stand in front of me, as they look down at me, you can see that their faces have not seen a smile in years. They are downright scary, they are of rather big built, and those hands seem as if they have done their fair part of dirty work. I hate to think about what they use most, those guns or their hands. While I find the inner strength for what is about toe, it feels more as if my world is about to crash in. I feel somewhat dizzy; I try to stop the beach from spinning as I pinch my nose and squeeze my eyes closed. I am so hoping that when I open them again that they would be gone. But there they remain, with the one trying to talk to me, but I do not understand a single word that he says. I do not say a single thing back to them; the one gestures with his gun for me to get up and shows for me to walk in front of them. The thoughtes to mind that today instead of finding love again, I am finding myself in a hole for being so foolish. So with a gun stuck in my back, I am forced to walk onto a pathway that seems to be going into the forest. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ I keep telling myself that we had just missed Ana, that she has just gone on this path. Now lucky Williams is a tracker; he can tell you if someone has recently been down a way by just by telling how the ground has shifted or how a leaf has been stirred. If anyone can tell us if Ana is somewhere here, then it would be him. So we wait patiently as he surveys the area before we enter, I watch the expression on his face to tell what he is thinking, but he gives nothing away. But then, finally, he turns to Gibbs and me, looking somewhat concerned. ¡°There were four people that came up here about a half an hour ago.¡± ¡°Fuck! I don¡¯t think you can tell me if they are men or women?¡± ¡°The one set of tracks do not seem to be so deep, so I can guess that it is a woman.¡± ¡°You can guess? You can guess it is a woman? Come on, Williams. I need a bit more than that.¡±This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Sorry, man, I can¡¯t tell you more. But now seriously, are we going stand the fuck here and debate it!¡± With now found haste, we get onto the path, and somewhat faster than before, we make our way back into the forest. It is much easier to walk here. There are no slippery slopes, and the ground is firmly set; if you fall down here, well, then you are pretty stupid. Let us hope these four people are stupid enough just to do that. Then as we get a third way in, Williams shows for us to stop and get behind him. There in the middle of the path, is something lying in the way. He scans the bushes around for any signs of anyone hiding behind them, but once he is clear, he steps forward andes back to show me what he found. ¡°It is Ana¡¯s hair clip.¡± And that is it for me. I let off in a big roar as I shout out for her; my voice is trembling too much that it is only but a mumble thates from my mouth. I grasp the grip of my gun and push Williams away, fuck this; I don¡¯t care for being cautious anymore. I need to find Ana; she is not trained to be tortured, not even interrogated. I storm off at a speed while they try to keep up with me, past every sideway, under every bush; I check for another clue as to where they have gone through. From left to right, we are constantly surveying the area, and as we do, Williams keeps showing to keep going ahead, he shall say when they left the path. It is bing a frustrating half an hour, and we have not yet found anything else. They could not have possibly left the path without us noticing it, but they might have for, fuck, it has started to rain again. Any clue that we had has now been washed away in the rain. What do I do now? Do I abandon the search? Do I keep following a path that will end up between civilians? I have this feeling that they left the path. They would not have taken a woman in uniform between civilians. ¡°Fuck! What do I do? I don¡¯t know what to do? I cannot just leave! I cannot leave Ana behind here!¡± Gibbs takes me on the shoulder and tries to be as sympathetic that he can get in a situation such as this. ¡°We need to go tell Ray. We can¡¯t carry forward and risk walking into a hostile camp.¡± The words drive like daggers deep into my heart. I promised to always keep her safe. Even when we were fighting, I promised to protect her with my life. I promised her. I am not a man that goes back on his promises. I am letting them take her, they are taking her away from me. They are taking her away from where I can protect her. I feel as if I have failed her. I have failed to protect her. Very reluctantly, Williams and Gibbs pull me towards the other direction to go back to camp. They are pulling me away from Ana; I know that they don¡¯t want to, but they know that they have to. I must fight every urge to break all the rules that I need to uphold as a Marine but is ¡®never leaving a man behind¡¯ not one of them, and that is exactly what we are doing to Ana. Right now, I do not feel like a Marine; I feel like a failed man. So as we walk into camp a little whileter, it is with a heavy heart that I find Ray to tell him what has happened. And as he sees me walking up to him, his face turns pale, and he sps his hand in front of his mouth. ¡°Ethan, what happened?¡± ¡°She has been taken. They have taken Ana.¡± Chapter 43 Leaving A Trail Behind It is with absolute horror that I stand in front of Ray and utter these words. But beyond the horror, beyond the fear, there is a hopelessness that fills me. I do not know where Ana is, and even if I did know, would I then be able to rescue her. It feels that she is gone from me; she cannot be gone from me. She is safe; she has to be. I will find her, and I will rescue her. Yes, we do not leave a soldier behind; we will get our own back no matter what. And we are here for each other; someone always has your back. I was supposed to be her someone. I was supposed to have her back; I promised her that I would make sure she is safe no matter what. But that is truly not the only reason I love the woman, and even though I am ten kinds of pissed off with her, I still want her in my life. And right now, she is not in my life; she is somewhere in another camp, and god forbid it is not a friendly one. So I need to get my ten kinds of a stubborn woman back so I can tell her how much she still means to me, and then I will kick her ass for jumping out that in by herself even though I strongly believed that she did it for me. So I am now looking at Ray, and he knows exactly what it is that I want to hear, even though there is a slight bit of hesitation. It is not that he does not want to do it, but that the sun set a while ago, and we will be doing this in the dark, which is by far more stupid and lets us not forget dangerous. Now forget dangerous and forget stupid; we are sitting here and waiting for exactly what? My patience is growing thin, for this is ten minutes that we are closer to saving her, ten minutes closer to not letting her get hurt. ¡°Ray, we can¡¯t sit around and wait like this; I need to get to her.¡± ¡°Ethan, it is dark; how are we going to track her?¡± ¡°Go blind in and look for the camp.¡± ¡°And get ambushed.¡± ¡°I will rather let them take me than her. For fuck sakes, Ray, she is a woman; she will never survive if they have to torture her. And I do not even want to think of it. Can I just take two more guys and go look for her?¡± ¡°Four guys and you radio in every half an hour. If you can¡¯t find her, thene back, and we will go in tomorrow morning early.¡± ¡°We will find her; I will make sure of it.¡± ¡°Then get out of here.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ I was hoping that Ethan would have found that hairclip, and if he did not, he should have definitely found that bracelet that he bought for me. But something gives me the idea that it might has washed away in the mud. I have not given up faith that they will find me; I know that Ethan will do everything to make sure I am safe. So with this in mind, we finally came to their camp about half an hour ago. We never left the forest, but have only moved in further to the north, and as I believe our camp should be far off south. There is a fair amount of green canvas tents scattered, making it seem that there are more people than there really are. But I do think that I will not find many of them that speak English around here, for these two have not talked to me at all the entire walk here. But what I also believe is that I am now about to meet their leader; I guess this is where I will find out if I am getting tortured. Well, I have never received the training that the Marines get, so I do not think I will fare great at it. Let us just hope that it does note to it. Then walking up to me is a rather intimidating looking man, with fairly broad shoulders and a strong jawline; he seems to be built rather big for just one of your ordinary buff soldiers that you will find. As hees to a stop where I am tied to a tree, he has the most piercing brown eyes that shoot like daggers through you. The moment he speaks, my body trembles, and it is not in a good way. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I have the urge to answer him but have been told that I should not even answer the simplest of questions. ¡°I asked you a question, or do you wish for me to force an answer out of you.¡± I only but stare at him under cover of my eyshes. I know that fear is written on my face; thest thing I want to show him is that it is consuming my eyes. ¡°Your training is not going to help you here, little girl. I think my boys can do with some relief. So what shall it be?¡± I can feel my bones shaking underneath my skin; god, I don¡¯t even what to know what he is talking about. ¡°Untie her.¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ We are going to go back to where we found her hairclip; we are hoping with night vision that we shall be able to pick up better clues and hopefully find her track from where we lost it. I want to believe that she dropped her hair clip on purpose, so I believe that we might find some more bread crumbs that she has left behind. Now we must do this fast for it is now an hour after sunset and I would think that they are at their camp now. What I am not sure of is where their camp might be, or do I dare even say if their camp is around here.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g So with the hope in mind that it is, we find the spot on the path where we discovered her hair clip. With Williams leading in the front, we move down the way that we went earlier on before we lost the sets of tracks. And when wee to where it ended, much to my relief, the impression of footprints are more visible. It draws us deeper into the forest, moving further into the north end of it. As we make haste and cover each stretch with perfect precision, making sure that nothing is missed at all, wee to a fork. This poses an entirely new set of problems, for there are many feet that have gone through these ways. It does make it somewhat impossible for Williams to tell us which ones to follow. But then that is when I see it, it is glittering in the shine of the moonlight. And as I pick it from the muddy ground, I am confident; I know that this belongs to Ana. I remember old Maggie giving me hell while picking it out in the shop that day. ¡°It is her bracelet. We need to go that way.¡± With her bracelet firmly in my hand, we go further to the north. This is the closest as I am going to get to her now, but she must just hang on; we are getting even more closer by the minute. I want to put this back onto her arm and tell her how much I love her still. ¡­Ana POV¡­ So they have taken me to one of the bigger tents, this is where he ims he is going to get me to speak. Now I am preparing myself to have my fingernails or something pulled out to teach me a lesson. God knows the words that pop up with the ideas in my head are frightening. But what is even more rming is being forced down onto a chair that is in the middle of the tent close to the center pole. It does not take more than a brain cell to know that I am being tied to it. But if I thought I was so lucky, I would be sadly mistaken, for a while I am waiting to be tied up to the chair, in they bring a bed, like a very old hospital bed. This is where he takes me and presses me down onto it. With four of them pinning my arms and legs, the leader sits on in silence and watches as they tie my hands and feet to the poles of it. I so much want to beg him to let me go, but the more weakness you show, the more advance they would take of you. Well, I might just think that it is a load of bullshit, I am not saying a single word, and I find myself tied to a bed. I do somehow think that if I spoke to him earlier, I would still be tied up to that tree. Then he shows for all the men to leave; he pulls his chair closer to the bed. With the most horrificughter, he looks down onto me. There is a look in his eyes that I do not wish to ce. He has something nned, and I can only say that none of it shall be good. And as he smirks at me, my entire body goes stiff. ¡°Are you ready to y a little game?¡± Chapter 44 Forget About Patience It has been half an hour since we have taken the fork in the road where we found Ana¡¯s bracelet. I am getting frustrated that we have not seen any other clues but have only been following a set of footprints that we believe to be hers. I am starting to feel somewhat hopeless but not even near to giving up. I know in my heart that we are on the right path and that any minute now we shall find the camp to which we believe that would have taken her. And as I look over to my men, I can see that I am pushing them beyond a limit, but they can, in return, see my determination to find the woman that I love. It is with this determination that I refuse to stop, but just as we are forced to stop for a few seconds to analyze what our next step shall be, in the far distance, there is a flicker of light. Without saying a single word, I point for them to look in the same direction. It is with much relief that we breathe a hope of fresh air. With a newfound determination, we slowly approach the outer borders of what appears to be a rather big camp. Gibbs and Williams move around the left with me, while Johnson and Lewis go to the right to survey the situation. Between the trees and the thick brush, we weave our way, making sure not to make a sound. But there seems to be quite oddly no one that is patrolling the borders; they must feel rather confident that their location is safe. But this does not mean that we can proceed to crawl our way quietly inside, for, by the number of the tents, I can positively say that we shall be somewhat outnumbered. So in the shadows, wey, waiting to see any signs of Ana, but nothing, not that we would believe that we would see. The logical approach would be to have her, and god forbid that I even have to say this, but they must have her tied up inside one of these tents. Now the question is, what are we going to do? Hide here in the dark and hope that we can catch them off guard and get to Ana unnoticed. Or do we send one back to camp for them to send back up? The thing is were are not here to cause a minor war with a bunch of militants. I do believe our logical approach shall then have to be for Ray toe and negotiate her release. ¡­Ana POV¡­ As those words escape his lips, I shiver at the thought of what game this sick fuck would have in mind. Do I even want to dare and ask? I know that whatever it is that I can not make a sound. I do not begin to understand what they can possibly get out of torturing a woman, unless; god forbid, I even think of it. So as thest of his men leave the tent, I fight the urge to scream back at them not to leave me alone with this man. His wickedughter consumes every bone in my trembling body. And the closer and closer he moves to me, I hear it just deepen with satisfaction. There is no way that anything good is about to happen from here. I crunch my eyes tightly close and hope that if I open them again that he will be gone, but I am not so lucky, for this does seem to infuriate him. ¡°Open your eyes, my dear; I want you to look me in the eyes as I teach you a lesson for stepping your feet onto my ground.¡± His ground? What ego does this idiot seem to have? Well, if he only knew, there is a Marine Camp just on the other side of his so-called ground. But that is not something I am yet to tell him. ¡°So I want you to think carefully about how you are going to answer me, for it shall determine how rough I will y.¡±Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g Now, if he thinks that scares me, will it does? Who am I to lie to myself. The chances are that I will find out what he means by rough. With this in mind, heys his hand on my arm, I wish I could say it is gently, but I can already tell that things are rough. ¡°Where did youe from? What were you doing on my beach?¡± I only remain quiet; his grip on my arm intensifies, I can feel the skin bruise from underneath the pressure. ¡°Where did youe from? Are there any more out there?¡± Still, there is no answer toe from my lips; he shall not hear me say a word. I cannot put the lives of the rest of the toon in danger, not even to mention those of Ethan. ¡°I shall not ask you again. Where is the rest of you?¡± Then I watch as he stands up and, much to my horror, see him flick open his buckle. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ I have not seen anyone who could nearly resemble a leader of the group; he shall normally have at least two men following him around. All I can see is a bunch of stupid militants that could have been taken out a long while ago, for they do not seem to be concerned with the safety around them. We have been lying here in the shadows for what is now almost a quarter of an hour. I have sent Lewis back to go get Ray; the sooner that we can get in there and get them to give up Ana, the sooner my heart wille to a rest. So all we can do now isy here and wait; wait is such a dreaded word, especially when you don¡¯t have the time. And it is time that makes me watch every single tent from which someone steps out. I watch how they carry themselves; it is usually the overconfident asshole that thinks he does not need to carry a gun. He finds himself invisible, and he believes that such power gives him the right to do whatever he wishes to. I have seen some of these womene back from these militant camps that are all beaten and scratched up. These are not men; they are, in fact, a bunch of pigs, and should I find that one of these pigs haveid a hand on my Ana, they are going to wish that they cut it off themselves. As I look over to Gibbs, he cannot seem to find the words to say; all he does is gives me a reassuring pat on the back. Reassurance is what I do need, for the more I stare into this camp, the more I am starting to question if she is truly here. But if not here, then where else. So I bite back my doubts and hide my head deeper into the thick grass. There is a sign; she has to be in here. But then that is when I see him, he is rather big and has the look of a man that seems to hold great power. That has to be him, that has to be their leader, and if by anything, I can for certain say that is the tent where they have Ana in. But he only stands for a second outside before he goes back in, this gets my heart racing, and my mind takes flight with so many bad thoughts. All I can hear behind me is Gibbs shout out as I jump out from where I was hiding. ¡°Ethan, stop!¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ I truly wish that I did answer him, for he seems quite enraged. Then just as I think that he is about to hurt me, he gets up and walks to the door. But he does not leave; he calls for one of his men to bring him something that looks like a radio. When hees back, though, I see that he has a tape recorder in his hand. The fear of seven horrors flows over my body. Is he about to record some ransom tape? Or even worse, is he going to tape it while he tortures me. In an instant, all that speeds through my mind is that I am never tell Ethan how sorry I am. All of this would have been for nothing. And as I watch this man click the tape on record, I am fully expecting him toe down on me with full force. Though I do not see the resemnce of anything that he can torture me with. It is just him and me with me tied up on this old rusty hospital bed. There is nothing else in this room, apart from one man standing outside the tent, which I assume have been tasked not to let anyone in. Then as hees to stand next to me, he slides off his belt that he only but a few seconds flicked open. Next, he pulls his thick jacket over his shoulders and drops it next to him on the chair, but as he starts to pop each button of his shirt open, he once again smirks at me. ¡°It is time to teach you that lesson.¡± And against everything that I have been trained, I do the very thing I am not allowed, and that is scream out. ¡°Please stop!¡± Chapter 45 Rescue A Marine ¡­Ana POV¡­ I watch in horror as this monster is standing in front of me, half-naked. I do not know what his intention is, but my mind keeps running back to the same one each time. The moment I squeeze my eyes closed, I try to wipe my mind clean, he forces me to open them, my fate bes certain. Is this what my life hase to? Has my clear stupidity led me to this moment? I cannot help but think if I did not break off my wedding, that I would now be with Ethan at camp. Or would I still have been too scared to jump? I guess there will always be a what-if; they will haunt you for the rest of your life. I do hope that I make it through this to find the reason why my life has gone so astray. So I am preparing for the worst, but just as I am waiting for him to drop the rest of his clothes, he raises his hand in the air. As I watch him grip his belt tight within his hand, I do now realize what he is actually intending to do. All the training does not prepare you for what is about toe. I can picture every move he is about to make. His hand shalle down with absolute force and crash against my skin. Is this such a better fate? But just before it even can happen, the man at the tent sticks his head in. ¡°Boss, we seem to have a problem.¡± He then turns back to face me, ¡°Guess we will have to do thister, but ifteres now or even far beyond the hour, I shall have my way with you.¡± I breathe a sigh of relief; my life is spared for a little longer. Maybe beyond the hour is when Ethan shalle. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ As I leap forward to make my way straight for that tent, I have one firm hand that is pulling me back. It seems that Ray has made his way here faster than I expected for him toe. I can honestly say that if he did not stop me, that I would be far into the belly of the beast. I know that there was no way I could have walked in there without being caught; my intention was not to go unseen. I was hoping they would take me prisoner and torture me instead. But now my n has fallen through; how long are we going to stay here in the shadows before we can move in. So as I turn around to face Ray, I cannot ce it if it is fury or relief on his face. Yes, I can be irresponsible, but that only does happen when the lives of the ones I love are in danger. But this is also one of our own; I know that all here shall feel the same sentiment. So yes, fury for me nearly being so reckless, but more relief that we know where they are keeping Ana. Now it is time to put this n into motion. Ray goes to draw a roughyout of the camp in the sand. He is trying to plot out every single move that we shall make. As he ces each squared tent on his map, they all bring us to the same conclusion. The tent that they have Ana held in is on the other side of the camp. So I shall be going in from that side, while they cover me from all sides. And should it be required, then they shall make a necessary diversion. But then that is when I see it, the man that was in that tent has now left it in quite a rush. This is it; we need to move now. ¡°Ray, we have to go now!¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ There seems to be quite amotion out in the camp. I hate to think that they are being attacked and I am here lying tied up to a bed. But this does give me the perfect time to try to break free from these rather poorly tied knots. This I did pay attention to in scouts; I managed to get myself untied each time when the mean girls tied me up to a tree. Guess I always knew those silly skills they teach you woulde in handy one day. I start to move and twist my wrist from side to side.This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. Nothing. It is not moving an inch. I twist and twist again. Then I go with more intensity than before. Nothing. The minute the pain bes too must, then only do it stop. I twist and pull from each angle. I pull, and I pull. Nothing. Every time I feel that the ropes move my way, it tightens in another. I bite down onto my teeth. I rip my hand with absolute force. ¡°Aaahhh, goddammit!¡± I swallow my words before they can even travel out from the tent; I am not quite sure if that man is still standing there. So Iy still for a few minutes; when nobodyes in, I go to untie my feet. As before, I wait for a few moments before I move again. My n is clear, probablypletely stupid again. I am getting out of here and make my way into the forest again. Yes, I will be lost, but I would rather be out there than stuck inside here. In absolute silence, I go to the entrance; I slowly pull the cover open to see if there is anyone standing outside. Nothing, no one, they are all at the top of the camp. So this is where I need to make sure that I do this and that I do this right the first time. I will sneak out and immediately make around the tent and head back into the forest. Here goes nothing. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ There are so many ways that this can go wrong. The biggest one is that we have got this whole situation wrong. That we might be going into the wrong tent. There is no time to search every single one we might think she could be in. We should be in this forest unseen; we cannot blow the cover of the entire toon. And even more importantly we cannot attack this camp without orders from the top. Thest thing we have time for now is to even wait for that. So I move around the perimeter of the camp, around to the tent that Ana is in. It takes me an agonizing five minutes, but I finally find myself standing behind it in some thick brush. Now I am supposed to see Ray give me a signal to move in. But we did not foresee there to be another tent in the way. I cannot see him at all; I guess I am moving into this one blindly. I gather all my strength, and I crawl hands and knees through the grass. When I reach the back ropes of the tent, I slightly rise to my feet and move in small slow steps to the entrance on the tent. As I get to the front, I look from right to left, and in an instant, in am inside. ¡­Ana POV¡­ As I step out of the tent, I decide to go to the left; there seems to be more brush out this way. Not that I have much time to ess the situation. I need to get away from this camp as far as I possibly can. If Ethan has note yet, I am afraid to even say that he might not. I would hate to think that they did not pick up myst clue. But there is no time for thinking of that now. So I hunch down and slowly make it close near the tent, then when I reach the back of the tent, I look from right to left. There does not seem to be anybody out this side. So I quickly hide behind a rather big rock. Now, where do I go now? I think I will go right. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ As I step into the tent, I am shocked to my core. ¡°Fuck!¡± Ana is not inside, there is a bed with ropes lying on the side. I fear to think that they had her tied up here. That is when I see the recorder, so I take a deep breath and press the rey button, but thank god, there is not anything on it. I quickly survey the rest of the inside; I do not see anything that gives an indication that Ana was inside here. Did we get it wrong? I have no time to search for any of the other tents. If I don¡¯t have time, then I will make it then. There are at least two other tents on this side that I can check. But I do not know how long these men are going to be distracted by the bunch of civilians that have just stumbled into their camp. I wish I could say that it was our doing, but they brought a much-needed distraction. So I go back outside the tent the way I came, back into the thick brush. But this time, I shall take shelter behind that big rock, just to gather my thoughts and carry on with my mission. As I get to the back, I hear a rustle in the bushes. Have I been spotted? I need to get a sign for the rest to abort. So I carefully move my way through and decide to turn to my left to where I heard the noisese from. Then all of a sudden, there is someone that walks smack bang into my chest. I hear a loud cry. ¡°Ouch.¡± ¡°Ana!¡± ¡°Ethan.¡± Chapter 46 Far From Safety In front of me stands the woman that I have been searching for; to say that I am not beyond relief would be a lie. Never have I been more happy to see her face than now. Just when I was starting to think that all of this is futile, out she rises from the dark. Not caring much for the chaos around us, I pull her tight into my embrace. The moment my arms are locked around her, she breaks down and sobs. The feeling of her body trembling against my chest sends tears to my own eyes. I slowly pull away to find her beautiful eyes; there is a fear hiding behind them. ¡°Hey, look at me, boo. I will not let anything happening to you.¡± Through the tears, she tries to speak, but there is nothing but a mumble that escapes from those soft lips. I gently cup her face in my hands and wipe the tears away from her eyes. Her eyes pierce into mine as she is looking past me, the fa?ade, the man that is trying to pretend that he is strong. I move my trembling lips to hers; I gasp and slowly press through the seems of her lips and delve inside. There is a force bigger than both of us, bigger than anything imaginable that keeps on drawing us closer. With now warning in an instant, it is as if the world has disappeared, nothing else existed, it was just you and me. No words are spoken because no words could describe how we feel. Soon our breathing starts to slow. And as before, our hearts beat together again. As if we are one heart and one love again. In the silence of the moment, we know we are meant to be together forever. And as we stand for a moment longer in the dark, I wish that I can extend this moment just a little longer, to stay safe in her embrace. With her arms wrapped around me, she calms the storm that is raging in my heart. In her embrace, I believe that there is nothing out there to fear. But we are not yet out of danger; we are surrounded by militants that shall not think twice in ending our lives. The minute they discover that she is gone, they shalle for her. At this very moment, not one of us our safe. The question begs, will theye as far as our camp? So it is with absolute haste that we make our way back to where Ray and the other guys are waiting. We tread softly and unseen through the thick brush. We are feeling very confident that we are almost close to safety again. And as wee up to Ray, I firmly believe that we are. Without having to speak, by the looks on the faces of all around, I can safely say that they too are just as happy to see her face creeping from behind me. So Ray signals for us to fall back; we will just have to live with the reality that they wille back and look for Ana, and they might even find our camp. But I firmly believe that the boys at the top will give us the instruction toe total their camp. The only thing I care about now is getting her safely home. ¡­Ana POV¡­ I have never been so happy to see this bunch. I think I knew all the time that neither Ethan of the rest of the toon would just let me wander the forest alone. And if I thought that Ethan was only doing this because it is his job, that kiss just proved me wrong. I know that he still loves me and his lips just spoke those unsaid words. Now do I believe that we are back together? The way he had those strong arms wrapped around my waist, tell me that we are. Ethan is a man of passion, and passion is what he just showed for our love. But we need to get back to camp first, and I know that it is my doing that we are still in danger. So Gibbs and Williams will remain here for a while longer to make sure that nobody is following us, then they will divert anyone that might follow them in aplete different direction. Needless to say that they shall only return to campte tomorrow, which is going to keep me on edge until they do. I think that I shoulde to the reality that this is all my fault, but I can no longer beat myself over it. I need to be strong; I need to be strong for Ethan. I saw fear there in his eyes; I don¡¯t know if it is from nearly losing me or that the realization that the enemy out here is real. We have long left the safety of our home, we are now right in the middle of a war. Thest thing we need is for me and him to be at war with each other. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ It takes us an hour to navigate our way through the forest, going unseen; as we get close to camp, we circle around just to make sure that nobody has followed us. Being confident that we are clear, we step into camp where, much to my surprise, a very eagerly waiting toon is there to greet us. The minute they see Ana, they burst out in cheer. They rush up to us, giving her hugs and patting me and my men with a well deserved well done on the back. They cheer for me soon dies, for out from the nurse¡¯s tent, I see Emily appear. Now, this is going to be a very hard discussion that Ana and I will need to have. Well, I can honestly say that I am not looking forward to it. But wait, Emily, being far beyond necessary, walks up to me and gives me a kiss square on my lips. I ampletely knocked away that I am not able to exin a single word to Ana, who has now walked off with Lewis to go find her tent. As soon as everyone has gone their separate ways, I turn to Emily. ¡°Was that really necessary?¡± ¡°What? Can I not kiss you?¡± ¡°No. There is no reason why you should.¡± ¡°Well, you gave me the impression that things were back together with us again. So, yes, I think I am allowed to.¡± ¡°Oh my god, how did I do that? I sat and spoke to you. I did not say, ¡®Let us get back together again,¡¯ now did I?¡± Much to my annoyance, I see her step one step closer to me again. And just as she goes to grab for my hand, I see Ana walking with Lewis to the nurse¡¯s tent. I just hope that he did not tell her about Emily because I wanted to tell her as soon as we came back here. ¡°Emily, what is wrong with you? Can you not see I am with someone else?¡± ¡°MacKey said that you guys have broken up.¡± ¡°Really? You believe MacKey. The man would do anything to get into your pants. Now please leave me alone. Let us try to make this civilized.¡± But yes, this woman is as thick as a doornail. I swear, but as she sees Ana again, sheunches her arms around my neck and pulls her damn face closer to my lips. ¡°Stop! God, I don¡¯t know why I am even still standing here. Please stay away from me. I think you and MacKey deserve each other.¡± With that, I spin on my heels to go look for Ana, but before I do, I turn to Emily for onest time. ¡°I don¡¯t think I need to remind you to stay away from Ana. I will have you sent back to Pendleton faster than you can breathe.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ I have just witnessed another woman kissing Ethan in front of the entire toon. Not even an hour ago, I thought that we were back together again. Did I misread the signs so badly, or is it my own fantasy that I have created in my head. But why would he have kissed me like that. But let us forget about that, who is this girl? We have not even been here for two days, and he is already kissing another woman. I am assuming that she is part of the nursing staff, but really Ethan? What is up with you and nurses?Content rights by N?velDr//ama.Org. So very curious, I turn to Lewis; I want to know more about this girl. ¡°Lewis, who is that girl?¡± ¡°Oh, that is Emily.¡± ¡°Like in Emily, Ethan¡¯s ex-fianc¨¦?¡± ¡°Yes, that very one and only.¡± ¡°Are they back together again?¡± ¡°That you will have to ask him. I saw them disappear into the mess hall before they went out looking for you.¡± With that, Lewis takes me to my tent; right now, I cannot deal with Ethan and his shit. If he wants to y Casanova, he can go y it on someone else¡¯s field. So I decide toy down for a few minutes and close my eyes, but I have not even drifted off when I find someone standing at my tent. As I look outside, I am prepared to be annoyed by Ethan¡¯s face, but I am shocked to see someone I least of all expected. ¡°What¡­what do you want?¡± Chapter 47 Time To Exhale Ana has juste back from a great ordeal. She has only survived, should I even dare to say, an experience that could have gone different in so many ways. This is not something that onees back from unscathed. Walking into camp, she felt the safety of the entire toon, but ines Emily, as if on perfect cue to ruin the moment and definitely making Ana insecure again. I can only imagine how much seeing another woman kissing me must have broken her heart. I should have known that MacKey would not resist the opportunity to stir trouble. So I immediately set after her, but before I even get there, Ray calls for me. ¡°Ethan, I am speaking to the boys at Pendleton, please can youe sit in for a second.¡± ¡°Sure, Ray.¡± Well, this just annoys me further; now she is going to think that I don¡¯t even care to exin myself. ¡­Ana POV¡­ Do I even dare say, can my day not get any worse, but one should know better than tempting fate. But fate is staring me in the face. How is this even happening to me again? ¡°How¡­how did you get in here?¡± ¡°That, my dear is not important; I told you I am going to teach you a lesson, and now I am going to teach you twice. And do I need to remind you that if you scream, it shall be yourst?¡± He slowly pushes me deeper into my tent; I can smell the reek of alcohol with each step he steps closer to me. There is a godawful rumblingughter thates from underneath his breath. ¡°What¡­what do you want?¡± ¡°I was going to say finish what I started, but I think there is something else that I would rather enjoy far better.¡± He keeps stepping closer until my back is against the end of the tent. That is when I notice him pull arge hunting knife from the back of his pants. At the very same moment, I hear two of our toon patrolling as they walk past the tent. ¡°If you make a noise, then you are dead.¡± I gasp as I gather the air; I do not care if it kills me or not. I must warn the others that he and maybe some of the others are in the camp. But as he sees me open my mouth, he ces the sharp de ounts the delicate skin of my neck. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ This is absolutely great, yes I want to hear if we are going back to that camp, but I would rather right now sit with Ana and exin to her that this is all just a big misunderstanding. Now she is sitting in her tent and getting even angrier by each ticking second. Every man¡¯s life lies within the present, for the past is spent and done with, and the future is uncertain. Even though the future is uncertain, you should choose to embrace the unknown and have faith that everything is going to be okay. This may not be tonight, tomorrow, or the next day, but everything is going to be okay. I need for Ana to know that we are okay. I can tell you a story of a man so lost and iplete that he dwelled for years in trying to find that one thing that he eluded him so, love. The man that tells you that they do not desire to experience love and not be love in return is not only a liar and a fool. The craving to be loved is a desire that every man wants. I have that love in Ana, and I know that she has that love for me. We can ovee all of this; we need to be strong. I, myself, am a strong person, but every now and then, I need someone to hold my hand and tell me that everything shall be all right. But if all of those around you are wanting for you to be that person to them, you need to be the one that rises through the storm, forget about your own fears, do not wonder, do not imagine, and most of all, do not obsess about the things that make you feel uncertain. Breathe and believe that everything shall be fine in the end; if it is not, that only means that it is not yet the end. And it is not the end for Ana and me; I just need to get to her and exin what has happened. But this seems like it is going to drag on forever; I need to get an excuse to get out of here. ¡­Ana POV¡­ I am for certain that this is where my life ends; at least, I can say it is close to people who care for me and not in some stranger¡¯s camp. I do not know if he only came here to get me back for running away or if they are about to attack our camp. All I know is if he points that de even deeper in my neck, then it will start to slice into my skin. They say that when death is near, that your life shall sh in front of your eyes; well, I say that it is bullshit. The only thing shing in front of my eyes is some god ugly monster that wants to take my life because it shall give him pleasure. What gives my heart somewhat more pain is why Ethan has note back and speak to me about what happened. He has and would have always speaks his mind. How I do love the way that he carries me on his hands like a porcin doll. He has seen me at my worst, he has seen the cracks in this perfect woman, yet he does not show them to others; he just but loves them. I love him for making this cracked porcin doll a better woman again. But I need for him to see that I am strong too, that I am not always crumbling. And as I look outside up at the dark skies of the night, I look beyond the stars and even beyond the ones that one cannot see, and I know that even if I live for eternity, I shall never know the space we live in. Ethan is like my night sky; I know that I only know him but a small bit, but I know that I look forward to a lifetime of getting to know him. I shall never stop discovering him. But now I guess that it shall never happen; not only is he with someone else, but I shall die here in this green canvass tent in the middle of some forest on hostile ground by a militant that has nothing better to do and torture woman. And as I say this, he grabs me by my arm and throws me back, on top of my bed. Fumbling at his belt with his one and keeping the knife in the other, hees to stand over me. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ As Ray sees the anguish on my face, he knows what is running through my head. Yes, I am not a weak man; I should be a Marine, but right now, I am a man in love, and I am distracted. A distraction that shall not be weed by a superior, but right now, I do not much care for everything but being with Ana at this very moment. She does not only live in her own body; she lives in mine too. We are part of each other; we are one. I hear her footsteps in the passageways of my heart. Her voice echoes through my veins. I can see her face in the mirrors of my memories. She has engraved herself deep into my soul. She will forever be a part of me. Who would have guessed that I would find her in thest rays of the daylight? That she would look up and smile at me, that she stopped me from running away. Where would I have been if she did not ask me toe back and stay, and I stayed long enough to have her in my arms? What she brings to my lifey like the beautiful colors of perfect autumn in my soul. She has made me change in so many ways; I lived with myself for so long that I did not know that I could be a better man. But yet she excepted me the way I was; it scared me that she gave up everything to be with a man like me. She took my loneliness away. I pray every day that I shall be good enough for the woman that loves me unconditionally. And it is with these thoughts that I finallye to stand in front of her tent. I take one deep breath before I step inside. ¡°Get off her!¡± My screams echo throughout the entire camp; there is immediately a rush of Marinesing my way. I leap across Ana, pushing her off the bed and out of the way. ¡°Ana, get out!¡± With his one hand trying to pull up his pants and the other yielding a hunting knife, I tackle him to the floor, pushing my knee hard into his chest. I twist and turn his hand, trying to gain control of the weapon in his hand, but he manages to flip me over and tackles me to the floor. He is cutting inch by inch into my skin on my cheek; I can feel the pain sting straight into my bone. But within seconds again, I have him turned t on his back. But just as I think I have the upper hand, he drives the knife deep into my leg for what feels for only a brief second. ¡°Aaahhh.¡±All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. Finally, in one swift movement, I grab it from his hand and m it hard into his chest. Once I am sure there is no way that he will get up, I get up to find Ana. ¡°Ana!¡± ¡°Ethan.¡± I check her from head to toe to make sure that she did not get hurt. But then she looks at me, pointing to my side. ¡°Ethan, you are hurt.¡± ¡°It is just my leg.¡± ¡°No, I am not talking about your leg.¡± ¡°Shit.¡± Chapter 48 The Haunting Of Your Memories ¡­ Ana POV¡­ Now I am going to officially say that this day is just getting worse. Not only have Ethan had to risk his life to save me, but now he has gone and gotten hurt. Up until now, there was no pain reflected in his eyes, but the moment I mentioned it, I can see the fear settle over his face. ¡°Ethan,e with me; I need to have you checked out.¡± I look over to Williams and Gibbs; they are the closet by, the rest of the Marines have gone to secure the camp and its surroundings. ¡°Can someone please help me carry him?¡± ¡°Ana, no! It is fine; I can walk.¡± ¡°Ethan, it is not! Look at all that blood. It is a wonder that you have not passed out.¡± ¡°Please, I can walk; if I pass out, then you can get someone to carry me.¡± I see him chuckle at me, find the very fact that he can pass out as rather amusing. I think he is more shit scared than he lets on to believe. But yes, trust Ethan to see the humor at a time like this. ¡°That is not funny, Ethan;e lean on me.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to get you full of blood.¡± ¡°Ethan! Listen to me. Now is not the time to pretend that you are an untouchable Marine.¡± ¡°Hahaha, obviously not untouchable enough since I managed to get my ass stabbed.¡± ¡°Your ass is going to get more than stabbed if you do not listen to me.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± he gets a stupid smirk on his face. ¡°What did you have in mind? We are going to go to the nurse¡¯s station, and it is still empty.¡± ¡°Ethan, this is not funny.¡± By the time I get the man to the tent, I am ready to murder him myself. With Gibbs and Williams in tow, they check to confirm the tent is safe before we enter. But who do we find there? ¡°Oh, my god Ethan, what happened? Let me take a look at you.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Emily, Ana has got it under control.¡± ¡°No, please let me look at you.¡± ¡°Emily, I said no!¡± But the little tramp does not know what the word no means, for shees to rip Ethan from my grip where he is still leaning on my shoulder. ¡°Aaahhh, are you crazy! Let go of me!¡± ¡°I am only trying to help, and I am the senior nurse, so you don¡¯t have a choice.¡± ¡°Senior, my ass!¡± I am watching this with absolute frustration on my face; I could have a look at Ethan¡¯s wound by now, but Miss ¡®I am senior nurse¡¯ is not making my job any easier. And let us not forget the fact that she is wasting time. So I am most probably going to lose my job or get seriously reprimanded, but I cannot stand and watch this any longer. ¡°Listen here bitch get your ass out the way; your senior nurse ass can go stand somewhere else, this is my patient, and you are wasting my time.¡± ¡°Who the hell do you think you are? That patient is my boyfriend.¡± ¡°My god, you are fucking stupid.¡± But yes, she does prove to me how stupid she, in fact, is, for she goes to pull harder at Ethan¡¯s arm. The man is hurt, and she thinks now is the perfect time to y her game that she, by the looks of it, did not get to finish earlier on. And as Ethan screams out in pain. ¡®Aaahhh, let go of me! Just leave me alone. I told you that Ana would do this. God, you are insane.¡± Then I do the unthinkable; I show for Ethan toy down on the bed, and then I spin on my heels to face this woman. In as little as one¡­two¡­three, my fist connects with her face, her pretty little head snaps to the right, and she stumbles off her feet. ¡°Now, I said, back off bitch!¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ I have just, for the first time in my life, seen two women fight over me; I would find it rather attractive if I were not hurting like a bitch myself. So while they have their little argument to state their im, I get Gibbs to help me onto the bed. I can feel the burning where the knife has sliced into my skin with every move I make. I try to settle on the bed asfortably as I can so that I can get a clear look at my wound. All I can feel is a numbing pain, but give it a few minutes as soon as the adrenaline passed, then it will feel the full wrath of iting down. Now between all the blood, I cannot see where I have been stabbed, so I ask for Gibbs to hand me a piece of gauze. I gently try to, with shaky hands, wipe away much of the blood that I can; I am shocked as it bes visible. There right below my stomach, there it sits, gaping and fairly deep. And by the looks of this, I am going to have to clean and stitch myself up too. ¡°Can one of you just stop it and help me?¡± In less than even thirty seconds, everything goes ck. ¡­Ana POV¡­ This woman has managed to get me to take my attention away from Ethan. So as I push her aside for what I hope is thest damn time, I turn around to see Ethan with his hand over his wound. It appears that he has tried to clean it up himself. But that is not my concern; I watch as his body falls down onto the bed, and his eyes fall closed. ¡°Ethan!¡± I rush to his side; I feel his pulse. It is faint, his skin is pale, and he is cold to the touch. I did not realize he lost so much blood, but it cannot be. Do I even dare to say that he has just in passed out. I know what seeing an injury can do to a man, but a man like Ethan that once walked in with an injury and walked out with half a leg. ¡°Gibbs, please get Doctor MacKenzie and get all these people out of the tent.¡± Once all are gone, I gently clean up his wound to reveal the cut that looks only but a few inches deep. I can easily say I can stick my finger in half of the way. And that is exactly what I do, pushing it gently into the cut, I feel if the de has touched any other organs around. Just then, Doctor MacKenziees walking in. ¡°Ah, see, you are already testing that one out. Must say I am surprised that you even brave enough to do such a thing.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t particrly see Miss pretty face out there trying to do it herself.¡± ¡°Ya, I heard you punched her.¡± ¡°God, does nothing stay a secret around here?¡± ¡°Ana, you in a camp with grown men that think that shit is hot.¡± ¡°Oh, yes, that. Now I do not think Ethan lost that much blood.¡± I watch as Doctor MacKenzie inspects the wound while he cleans and stitches is up, then he looks at me with concern in his eyes. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, his secret is safe with me. I don¡¯t even want to begin to think how losing a leg messed your head up. I imagine that he saw the injury and thouth that something bad would happen. But he will be fine, rest him for a few days and then he can be back up again. ¡°Thank you, Doctor.¡± With that, I put him on a drip of antibiotics and dress him into a pair of clean uniforms. Once I am sure that he isfortable and safe, I ask Gibbs to sit with him while I go look for Ray. After much searching, I find him in the battle ops tent. ¡°Ray, can we talk?¡± ¡°Sure, Ana, I am due for a break anyway.¡± ¡°So what is the big hustle going on?¡± ¡°We are attacking that campes dawn, they are going to find their leader is not back, and we want to do it before then. Pity that Ethan cannot be there. How is he doing?¡± ¡°A few stitches and rest, and he shall be perfectly fine. There is something I wish to discuss with you.¡± ¡°Perhaps that girl Emily, I heard that you punched her.¡± ¡°I am not going to say sorry, but she was in my way.¡± Ray burst outughing at my boldness; he knows that I always say things such as I see it. That is why he knows that the next thing that I want to ask is rather urgent. ¡°Did Doctor MacKenziee to you?¡± ¡°Unfortunately, I need to know what is going on with all my Marines. Hey, I understand where Ethanes from. It does not make him any less of a Marine. I am sure most of us would probably pass out as well. So don¡¯t worry, everything is still fine.¡± ¡°But what if it not fine for him? I am not saying that it will not be. I am scared that he is going beyond what is normal to prove himself. I am scared he really gets hurt.¡±All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°What do you mean by not fine for him? Has he said anything?¡± Chapter 49 See What Is Important ¡­ Ana POV¡­ Sitting here next to his bedside, I cannot help but think how close Ethan came to his death. Out here, reality is real, the enemy is ruthless, and they shall not think twice about taking your life. Take how that man came into the camp the way that he did; it reminds me that we are not safe. We might be amongst the best trained Marines in the world, but catch you off guard only once, and it spells your end. They say that you should not be foolish when ites to the danger you put your life in, but this is what these men live for. They thrive and live on the edge; the danger is what makes them push themselves to a limit. By all honesty, I can say that it was not a desire I had from the start, and I still do not have it. I am still here only for Ethan; yes, I serve a bigger purpose, and it is one that I do not take lightly. These men here need me, and yes, I need them to remind me that we are here for a greater good. But Ethan shall remain the reason why I am here. He is here to fight for those that cannot fight for themselves. I am here to make sure he gets back here safe every day. But I do have a nagging question that I wish to present to him when he wakes up. So it is here where I sit far into the day, ande dawn, Ray sticks his head around the corner. ¡°We are heading out. I know he is going to be disappointed. Just keep him in that bed.¡± ¡°Ya. You tell that to a stubborn Marine. Though I think that he might be out the whole night from the pain medication I have given to him.¡± With that, Ray and Ethan¡¯s squad sets off to head through the forest. I can for a fact say that he is going to be disappointed, but even if he was awake, there was no way that I would let him out with his wound still being so fresh. I then check his dressing and make sure that he isfortable before Iy my head gently on the bed next to him while holding his hand tightly; there is no way I am going to my tent and leaving him alone. In no time, I drift off to sleep, but then the nightmares set in. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ As Ie to, I find myself still on the hospital bed. But I am not alone, for Ana is lying next to me, and she seems to be fast asleep. Without waking her up, I try to move my shirt to see where they have patched up the wound. Yes, I did kind of freaked out at the thought that there was more damage than could be seen. So I most embarrassingly decided that now is a good time to pass out, and that is with half of my squad standing in the tent. Just as I start to peel away the cover of the wound, I have a hande flying from the side and pping me. ¡°Don¡¯t you dare do that?¡± ¡°But I want to see it?¡± ¡°You can see it when I need to change the dressing. ¡°Please?¡± ¡°No! Nowy down! You are still going to be dizzy from the painkiller that I have given you.¡± ¡°But I feel fine.¡± ¡°Then try and stand up for me.¡± But as I try to move my ass from the bed, I feel a newfound urgency to crash to the floor, for my legs are not working with me. For one, she has taken off my stump and the other, and I do feel dizzy as she said I would. Then another fear strikes me. ¡°My leg, he stabbed me in my leg.¡± ¡°Stitched you up; it is not bad; he caught you higher up, much closer to the top of your thigh.¡± ¡°And the¡­the¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, that is safe between us.¡± ¡°Who is us?¡± ¡°MacKenzie, Ray, and me.¡± ¡°Oh god, yes, they do need to know everything. Ah well, I guess¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t even dare to finish that sentence; you are a great Marine. You have been through two days of hell. You are not always going to be strong. God knows I have not made it any easier for you to be when I run around acting like a child.¡± She does not understand; this is not about feeling strong; this is about proving yourself not only to your squad but also to yourself. All the heart and soul that you have put in to get here, one weak moment can take this away in an instant.Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. But I need to forget about what I am experiencing, she has just been through a great ordeal, and she is sitting here with a smile on her face. I know that she is trying to be strong for me; I guess we both should stop being something we are not. ¡°Hey, boo. Look at me. Tell me how you are doing?¡± I watch as her face now geniunly lights up, just hearing me saying that nickname that she has grown to love. ¡°Are we¡­?¡± ¡°Yes. Of course, we are okay. I don¡¯t think I can ever get myself to leave youpletely.¡± ¡°Ethan, I am so sorry. I was so stupid.¡± ¡°We are not debating your ability to think; I want to know how you are feeling?¡± ¡°Hey, watch your mouth! ¡°Then answer my question?¡± ¡°I¡­I am getting nightmares, I can¡¯t stop seeing his face in front of me. Do you not feel the same?¡± ¡°We are not talking about me. Please, you don¡¯t have to answer, but did he touch you?¡± ¡°No¡­no, he did not, but I am even scared to say that he was so close.¡± ¡°God, boo, I am so sorry, pleasee here.¡± I pull her off the chair onto the bed, well it does hurt like a bitch, but I am not going to show her. That is what I think; she knows me too damn well to know that I almost can cry like a baby. ¡°Very clever, aren¡¯t we? Let me get you another drip.¡± ¡°While you up, will you grab me a bottle of water as well.¡± ¡°I think you are taking advantage of your situation.¡± ¡°Only advantage? I am going to milk it for as long as I can. Now, what else can I convince you to do?¡± ¡°Ethan! You are in a tent.¡± ¡°You will just have to be quiet then.¡± ¡°We both know that I am not, so just go and scrap that idea from your head.¡± The fact is that I have missed her so damn much; I don¡¯t care if we justy in each other¡¯s arms for the next couple of months. Well, I would not have it any other way. I guess that having a near-death experience has an impact on your life; after all, I should know. But I am not even two days at camp, and I am almost getting myself killed again. ¡­Ana POV¡­ Something is biting at Ethan¡¯s mind, and do I even dare to think that it could be the same that is on my mind. I don¡¯t know how youe back from being killed almost twice. He is strong, and yet he shows his softer side when he is around me, but he is not showing me that side when ites to talk about this. He is brushing this off, yes, all these men out there will think and feel the same, but they are not the man I love. I do not want him to be a broken man again, but something says that we might already bete. ¡°Now it is my turn soldier, how are you feeling?¡± ¡°Apart from a pin cushion, I am fine.¡± ¡°So what, you are happy when someone tries to kill you?¡± ¡°Boo, there is nothing that we can now do; just thank our lucky asses that we are alive.¡± ¡°I cannot see how you can live so casually with it.¡± ¡°I am not, of course, I am shit scared; why do you think I passed out? I don¡¯t want to go home with another body part gone.¡± ¡°Soldier, if you know that any of this would have happened, would you still havee? I watch him twirl the words around in his head. I am not sure if he is trying to get an easy answer out or if he shall now be honest with me. ¡°You know, soldier, admitting differently does not mean that you have failed, it just shows that your priorities have changed.¡± ¡°Boo, you are always my priority, don¡¯t ever think that you are not. Even though we might have made decisions that we might now think was wrong, I have never stopped thinking about what it is that you want.¡± ¡°Then can I ask you this question, you do not need to answer now, or you might not even want to answer at all. But ever you say, please let ite from your heart and not from the heart of a Marine.¡± He looks at me somewhat concerned at the seriousness of my statement, making him worried about which way this question might go. But there is no other way than just ask it. ¡°Soldier, if you have the opportunity to go home. Would you go home?¡± Chapter 50 Never Give Up I believe that we are whom we choose to be. Nobody is going to give you anything. You have got to go out and fight for it. Nobody knows what you want, expect you, and nobody will be as sorry as you if you don¡¯t get it. Nobody has the power to shatter your dreams, but you. So do I believe that I should give up on my dream? I have fought with every part of my being to get what I want. It takes a lot for me to give up. I can¡¯t just give up because of one thing that happened. I will keep on fighting and fighting until I have nothing left in me, and giving up is the only option left. Now, did I expect for this conversation to happen so soon again, not truly after everything that we have just gone through. I know that I had a very close call with death, but does this now mean that I wish to go back home? But what I also do know is that she lived her own horrible experience herself; I can not even begin to imagine how terrified she must have been. Therefore I canpletely understand her question. ¡°Boo, I don¡¯t want even to consider such a thing. But if you wish to, then I shall not stop you from getting a transfer back home. I understand why you want to do it, but I am here to stay; I did note to give up before it even began.¡± ¡°Would you want me to stay if I choose to go home?¡± ¡°Of course, I am going to want to be here with me, but I am not a selfish man that is going to keep you here against your will.¡± ¡°Soldier, I am just scared that something bad will happen again. And I don¡¯t want you to get hurt.¡± ¡°Getting hurt is part of the job; whether I bump my toe or get a cut, I am going to get hurt. I know you are scared that I might leave here without another part of my body and, even worse, in a body bag. But we all know that when we sign up to be a Marine.¡± ¡°Well, I do not want to be that person that gives up so easily. I don¡¯t want to run away because, in fact, it was my own fault that this happened.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you ever dare to say that; it is not your fault! Do not do that to yourself; you did not ask for some sick suck to be wandering the forest.¡± With that, I pull her closer into my embrace; her body is still trembling. I know that the memory is still fresh in her mind, and the nightmare is chasing her relentlessly. I can see she is dead tired. ¡°Come, I am taking you to your tent; you need to get rest.¡± ¡°Soldier, I am fine.¡± ¡°No, you are not. You look exhausted. I promise I will sit by your bedside, and I will not leave.¡± ¡°You must rest, not me. Your wound needs to heal.¡± ¡°It is healing perfectly fine. Now stop arguing with me and get this damn drip out of my arm.¡± I watch as she carefully takes off the ster and slowly pulls out the needle. Lucky I am not squeamish at the sight of a needle, for god, that thing is long. After a few ufortable twists and turns, I get off the bed and we make our way outside to get to Ana¡¯s tent. But then I notice something odd and strange around the camp. ¡°Where is everybody?¡±This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Ray took your squad and MacKey to go to that camp.¡± ¡°Fuck, why did you not wake me up?¡± ¡°Seriously? And let you run around with that wound?¡± ¡°It is only a cut; it is not like I can¡¯t walk.¡± ¡°The only walking you are doing, is taking me to my tent. Do you understand me? If I catch you sneaking off, then you are dead.¡± Well, to say that I am not a little disappointed would be an understatement; I would have loved to go see those assholes taken out. Guess I will have to settle for the stories thereafter, and as is, my focus should be on Ana now. She needs to get this man out of her head; I know it won¡¯t happen now, but if she can only sleep, then I would say that we are halfway there. So as we step inside her tent, I make her snuggle under a warm nket, for the rain has started again, and it is fairly cold out there now. Once she isfortable, I drop my face to meet her lips and gently ce them against her. ¡°Ethan. We cannot¡­¡± I ce my finger against her soft lips and wrap her face in my hands. I pull her face closer until there is nothing but a mere breath between our lips. ¡°Ssshhh Ana. Just let me kiss you.¡± I take my right hand and pull her long brown hair away from her shoulder. Before I know what consumes me, Iy my lips against her naked soft skin. The scent of her perfume attacks my senses, making the desire to kiss her even more intense. I kiss her from her shoulder up the sensitive parts of her neck. I softly nip at her earlobe and feel her squirm on the bed. ¡°Soldier, what are you doing?¡± ¡°It is forey, boo.¡± ¡°I thought you were going to kiss me?¡± ¡°Who says I can¡¯t build up to a kiss too, or did you perhaps have something else in mind?¡± ¡°Hahaha, Not so fast Rambo.¡± ¡°Hey, a man can only dream.¡± ¡°Are you going to stop talking and kiss me?¡± In one swift movement, I lift her onto myp. She gasps loudly but does not protest. We stare at each other, deep into each other¡¯s eyes. Her eyes are soft and full of wonder; mine is full of curiosity and passion. No words are spoken, but a story worthy of them ismunicated. I lean in and softly kiss up and down her neck again. She lets out little whimpers of anticipation. I work my way up to her tender, smooth lips. She moves closer until her forehead touches mine. Her lips are shaking as she breathes little, short breaths. I gently lean in and touch her warms, velvety lips. I hold her head in my hands and pull her into a fiery, passionate kiss. Unable to control myself anymore, I press through the seams of her lips and entwine her in a deeper kiss. She scrunches my shirt in her hands and lifts it up until she finds her hand underneath it. ¡°Oh my god, do you know how I have missed this.¡± Her hands are exploring every crevice of my sculpted chest. She moves her nails down and scrapes them hard against my rippled abs. But as soon as she realizes what she is doing, she stops. ¡°Shit. I am so sorry, soldier.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be; you can take it off if you like.¡± ¡°Hahaha, you just want to get us naked.¡± ¡°Boo, it is not want but more like I am.¡± She looks deep into my eyes; her big brown eyes are piercing deep into my soul, and beyond this man that truly loves her with all his heart and soul. I tuck a piece of stray hair behind her ear and caress her cheek with the back of my hand. I slide my finger over her lips that is covered with her best deep cherry red. She slowly parts her lips, and I feel her warm breath cover my skin. She closes her eyes and stops to breathe for a minute. I grab hold over of her tight ass and draw her even closer to me. ¡°Soldier, we can¡¯t¡­¡± ¡°Nobody is going to look for us, or do you want me to stop?¡± She answers by scrunching her fingers in the seems of my shirt and gently pulling it over my head. ¡°God, soldier I forgot how damn good you look.¡± The cool tent feels hot and heavy. I am finding it hard to hold back. I am caught between the intoxication; I do not want this moment to end. She trails her fingers down my chest to the seams of my pants. Her fingertips are burning like mes into my skin. As she reaches the seams of my pants, I let out a deep, low moan. I grab hold onto the ends of her shirt and slide my hands underneath it. Then as if in slow motion, I start to lift it over her head. As I finally have it on the floor, I shyly look up at her supple breasts that are firmly tucked in under a redce bra. Her stomach is t and toned, the contours of her waist in a perfect pear shape. She is absolutely beyond what beauty canpare. ¡°Do you know how beautiful you are?¡± She looks down at herp, afraid to stare me into my eyes. I only but take one finger and lift her chin up so I can meet her eyes. Although her eyes are soft, I notice the feelings behind them, as if she were longing for something. She touches her forehead to mine, and I feel a warmth, one that I¡¯ve never experienced before. It fills my body, from head to toe, invigorating me and filling me with passion and hope that is so powerful. I lean my head closer until our lips meet. Gentle but passionate, I press my lips into hers. The world around me slows so that I can savor this moment. Then all of a sudden, someone is at the entrance of the tent. ¡°Uhm¡­I am sorry to interrupt.¡± ¡°Fuck Lewis, don¡¯t you know how to knock.¡± ¡°It is a¡­tent¡­¡± I can see the trouble brewing in his eyes, not so much trouble but fear. ¡°What is the matter?¡± ¡°We have a problem.¡± Chapter 51 Silent Moments Of Passion Talk about imperfect timing at the perfect time. This man that stands here with an utterly stupid smirk on his face in the opening of the tent better has a very valid excuse for rudely interrupting me just as I am about to take Ana in a way that will even make her blush. She is aching and ready to go; I can almost guarantee that she is the perfect wet mess for me as her body quivers in anticipation. But wait¡­ ¡°Lewis.¡± ¡°Yes, Sergeant?¡± ¡°Is someone dying?¡± ¡°No, Sergeant.¡± ¡°Is someone dead?¡± ¡°No, Sergeant.¡± ¡°Then why are you bugging me?¡± ¡°I¡­uhm¡­it.¡± I hear him hesitate for more than a few seconds too long, and that alone says it all. He is wasting my time entirely unnecessary. If I can ce it precisely, he hase across his own dilemma that he has no idea how to resolve. ¡°Lewis.¡± ¡°Yes, Sergeant?¡± ¡°Unless the camp burns down, do not daree to disturb me again. ¡°Yes, Sergeant?¡± ¡°And Lewis.¡± ¡°Yes, Sergeant?¡± ¡°If you tell anybody anything other than Ana cleaning my wound, then you are dead. Now bugger off and leave me alone.¡± With a few scuffles of his feet, I hear him walk off into the other direction of the camp. I listen as he mumbles underneath his breath, or maybe more like chuckles at himself. He is not aware that he has just earned himself a round of push-ups and possibly a fair amount of sprints around the camp. Damn wise-ass rookies. Ana that has been watching this whole thing yoff in silence, looks at me in utter shock. Now which one it truly is, I do not know, but I can say she might be a tad bit scared for what I might do to her. Hey, this Marine has been left frustrated for days now, and if I have the privilege to have my girl with me, then why not take advantage of the situation. Yes, perhaps not ideal in a tent, between a bunch of other Marines, but as they say, what they don¡¯t know will not hurt them. Let us just hope this beauty that is looking at me somewhat amused now will refrain from screaming out my name. ¡°Boo, do you think you can be quiet?¡± ¡°No, Sergeant.¡± ¡°Do you think you can try?¡± ¡°Maybe, Sergeant.¡± ¡°Boo, are you teasing me?¡± ¡°Yes, Sergeant.¡± ¡°I will show you who your Sergeant is.¡± She only butughs as I pin her body down onto the bed again. Now I do believe that I have grown a rather big problem with a somewhatrge arousal. If it was not for sure before, then it is now; there is no way that I shall be leaving this tent in my current disadvantaged position. Gently, I pull her off from the bed; with only but one flick of my wrist, I loosen her belt and slide her pants ever so slowly over that long sculpted legs. I see her smile, but her eyes are filled with hesitation. What have I done wrong? Is it something I perhaps said? She steps a slight bit forward and gently reaches out to touch my hand. A million sensations shock me to my core. Even though she is cold to the touch, her hands are as soft as feathers. ¡°Soldier.¡± ¡°Ssshhh boo.¡± I stand and admire her beauty as that big brown eyes seem to light up to their brilliant sparkle. She still has not let go of my hand; I feel her as she gently squeezes my palm. She sees me smile at thefort of her touch and slowly lets go. Her fingers drag softly down my forearm, leaving tingles on my skin. I move a slight step closer. She wants to move away, but she seems not to either. Something has her hesitating. ¡°Boo, are you okay?¡± ¡°Yes, soldier.¡± ¡°If you want me to stop, then I will.¡± ¡°No, please don¡¯t.¡± Then I find my hand wandering to her lips; I touch them¡­ I touch her lips. I run my thumb across them and can feel it slightly tremble, and how I would love us to tremble together. I take a lock of her hair and twirl it around my finger, then gently pull it closer. The scent of honey fills my nostrils as I feel the soft touch of her hair against my skin. ¡°If I knew what the scent of an angel was, then I would say it was you.¡± Her breathinges out short and shallow. She whispers, but her trembling lips only cause her words to whimper. I see my name forming around her lips, but I do not hear it. She is drowning in the power I have over her body. ¡­Ana POV¡­ Our eyes gradually meet; he lowers his head and begins biting and kissing down my neck. He continues downward until his lips are locked around my quivering nipple, his tongue circling the swollen tip. His hand strokes the other. Both are throbbing, one in his hand, the other between his lips. I toss my head back, thrusting the tip further into his mouth. ¡°Soldier, if you don¡¯t take your clothes off soon, then I am going to explode. He kicks off his jeans; I run my palms from his stomach to his back and slowly pull him closer. I can feel my nipples as they push and strain against his skin. He slides his hand into my panties; I arch my hips into his hands. He slips them down as I raise my knee and toss them to the side. He moves his hand between my legs and slips his finger partially into my wetness. He kisses me and moves his tongue to the rhythm of his finger. I gasp at the ever-deepening strokes probing into my slippery softness. I feel as I tighten around the fingers, he gently withdraws but keeps his hand on my folds. He gently pushes my body down onto the mattress; then, he crawls up my body like a hungry animal. He ces his pulsating erection between my legs; I slowly part my folds, so his strong, hard manhood slide effortlessly into me. I scream with pleasure. My whole body screams with pleasure. It is obvious that the teasing and taunting of forey are over. His chin rests on my shoulder as his hips drive hard, his hard length furiously thrusting into me, over and over again. His unique scent overwhelms my senses; his breath at the nape of my neck tickles and makesme shiver. He ms into me, struggling for breath, desperately trying to hold on to his crumbling restraint. There is nothing controlled about his actions.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Oh god, soldier,¡± I whispered. ¡°More. Faster.¡± I gyrate in slow insistent circles; he rocks with every thrust. Our bodies are bucking and arching and colliding in almost perfect rhythm. He keeps up the rhythm relentlessly. With each stroke, he slides his hot throbbing fleshpletely into me. He drives in deeper, with each thrust increasing pace. ¡°Fuck boo, you are going to drive me insane.¡± He impales me with his hot bulging shaft deep into my depths. I clench and shudder and raise my hips slightly to further drive his swollen erection into me. I heave in passion, my resisting flesh split, and he slides into me slowly and gently until he waspletely inside me. I could feel his hard length pulsating, contracting and releasing his erection as he eases himself back for fear that he would explode. ¡°Soldier, I¡­I¡­fuck.¡± My first orgasmes within seconds, the second minutester. He picks up speed, mming home even faster. I am delirious with pleasure. I have never experienced anything like this before. He is man enough. That is for sure. One¡­Two¡­Three more thrusts, and I am there. He plunges deep inside me; I feel the full thrust of his hard length inside me. Tension built, deep at my core and coil up, arousal mounting inside until finally, without warning, my climax charge up, and I lose all control. ¡°Coming,¡± he roars. ¡°Oh fuck,¡± he groans. The hot waves of pleasure started to build up deep within his core and shoot out in every direction, turning his limbs to jelly and his mind to mush. He shudders and convulses in a chain of explosions. His release fills me, dripping down his still-hard length. He falls down next to me on the bed with a very satisfied look on his face, a typical Ethan grin on his face. We bothy in silence for a few minutes, waiting for the world to stop spinning and our breaths to slow to our normal heartbeat. Then he turns to me, with a new look on his face. Something has him troubled again, god, I hope he does not want to go for another round, for I do not have an ounce left in me. ¡°What is wrong, soldier?¡± ¡°Are you still going to leave, boo?¡± ¡°I.. I..¡± Just then, Lewis finds himself back at the entrance of the tent again. ¡°Sergeant.¡± ¡°Yes, Lewis?¡± ¡°You think you cane to look at that problem now?¡± ¡°Lewis, I am going to p you if it is something stupid that you have done.¡± Once again, he gets up very annoyed, but not at Lewis, more at me that is considering going home. Chapter 52 Anticipation Has Neared Walking out of the tent, I feel like apletely different man. I have just made love to the most beautiful woman I have ever set my eyes on, but I have also not wavered in my decision. Ana is known to have the ability to bring me to my knees. I can, for certain, say that I shall do anything for her. Even though her decision to havee is clear, what does trouble her is if she should remain where there is nothing but fear surrounding her. I can almost say that she has what happened to Mark still very present in her memory. I do not me her for feeling this way, we have not been here two days yet, and she has been attacked twice. And then I get myself stabbed in the process as well. So you can say that terror lies in every corner of her body. Now, what can I do to make her feel differently? Nothing. Ana is very strong-willed, and do I even dare to say stubborn. It is that hard-ass attitude that made me fall in love with her in the first ce. Do I wish that she shall decide to stay? Absolutely. I find myself walking with a stupid grin on my face as I go in search of Lewis. I best hide it before it bes quite clear from where I just came. If wound cleaning were indeed so hot and steamy, I would cut myself more often. It is one of the very rare opportunities that we shall be able to be so intimate unless we start getting creative. The first I find is Gibbs and Williams that are sitting outside the nurse¡¯s tent. ¡°Hey, Sergeant?¡± ¡°Yes, Gibbs?¡± ¡°Some nice ¡®wound cleaning.¡¯ ¡°Oh god, Ethan, yes,¡± amentes flying in from Williams. ¡°You two better wipe that crap off your faces, or I do it.¡± ¡°But Sergeant, oh my god, Ethan, go faster,¡± a very satisfied Gibbses back with his very own sharpment. ¡°Carry on, and I will give me three sets of push-ups.¡± ¡°Just like you gave James three sets of push-ins.¡± They both burst outughing. This conversation is absolutely going nowhere; their mission obviously went well, for they won¡¯t be sitting here all smiles and giving me shit about the wild sex I thought they heard nothing of. I guess what Ana says is true; she has no ability to keep quiet. So before I really p one of the stupid grins off their faces, I look around and try to find the man that I came out to find here in the first ce. ¡°Where is Lewis?¡± ¡°He is inside,¡± Gibbs informs me. ¡°What is he doing inside? I hope he is not flirting with that dreadful woman?¡± ¡°Oh no, he got shot,¡± Gibbs continues to exin. ¡°What the fuck! Why did he not tell me?¡± I do not even give them the time to respond, for I immediately find myself inside the tent. There he is casually sitting on the bed while Ana is inspecting his wound. I stop for two seconds and think which one he deserves best. A smack or damn hard punch to break that pretty-boy face. But let us first hear what his excuse is for not telling me in the first ce. ¡°So Lewis, do you think there is something that you perhaps failed to mention? Like, Sergeant, I have been shot?¡± ¡°Sergeant, you did not ask if anybody was injured, so I thought it was best for me to keep quiet since you were so busy cleaning that wound between your legs, shit! I mean on your leg. Your leg that Jenkins was looking at.¡± ¡°I think it is best if you do not refer to my wound. Now what the fuck happened to you?¡± ¡°I just got on the wrong side of the barrel.¡± ¡°No, shit.¡± I then turn to Ana, that is standing aside, barely able to contain herughter. If there was ever anything so attractive about her, then it is that rosy color her cheeks are turning. ¡°Ana, is this idiot going to be okay?¡± ¡°Ya, it seems he won¡¯t be walking into a bright light today; it is only a flesh wound.¡± I watch as a kind of horror creep on Lewis¡¯ face; I see what Ana did there; she has just scared the bejesus out of him. I cannot help but chuckle at myself. I stand back in awe as I watch this woman take her soft and gentle hands and start to clean his wound; then, with perfect precision, she removes the bullet. Before I can stop the words froming out of my mouth, it is most embarrassingly heard by both of them that are just staring at me. ¡°My god Ana that is so damn hot.¡± Lewis looks at me with a stupid grin on his face, and I know that he is about to say somethingpletely dumb. ¡°Sergeant, it is my turn to have my wound looked at.¡± ¡°Watch that mouth, Lewis.¡± Very much to my relief, before I make aplete idiot of myself, I see Ray sticking his head through the entrance of the tent. ¡°Hunter, if you don¡¯t need any wounds clean, can I have a word.¡± ¡°Fuck does the entire camp know?¡± His silence just confirms it all; I am probably going to get his full wrathing down on me. Though he never made any rules clear when it came to Ana and me. But just before I exit to go with Ray, there is one thought that immediatelyes to mind. ¡°Ana, where is Emily?¡± ¡°I saw her and MacKey disappear off into the far end of the camp.¡± ¡°Ya, I sort of figured. I will see youter.¡± I soon find myself trail behind Ray as we make our way to the battle ops tent; secretly, I thank my stars for he will not confront me in here in front of everyone. But there seems to be another urgency written in his eyes, and I am made to think that what he wants to discuss cannot be good. So I wait for him to speak, for I do know that he hates being interrupted. ¡°Ethan, when we were sweeping the tents of the militant camp, we came across evidence that there is another camp. There was a map pointing to the location.¡± ¡°Where?¡± ¡°It showed south from here.¡± ¡°Which means that we were in the middle of them.¡± ¡°Correct. What we don¡¯t know is if they are aware that we are here. What troubles me is that I have heard of their leader before, and I can with all honesty say that this man is ruthless; he sends the fear of seven horrors in me.¡± Just hearing Ray say this sends a chill down my spine. He is not one known that scares easily; for him to say this, then this man shall be more than a terrifying opponent. ¡°Ethan, as my best squad, I need to send you guys out there just to observe for the time being. Once we have solid intel, then we will move in. Can you and your men be ready to leave in the next hour?¡± ¡°Immediately. How long do you need us out there?¡± ¡°Two to three days, it is pointless, moving back and forth to camp every day. We need to stay lowkey and not make ourselves noticed. Now go get that stupid Lewis, and I will be there to see you off in an hour.¡± It is with a strange sort of excitement that I leave the battle ops tent. This will be our first mission, not indeed the one that we came for here in the first ce. But whichever way, I can, in a strange way, say that I am beyond excited. If I ever thought that this has not set in yet, then right at this moment, I am pulled into reality. Now is the time to be a Marine. Now I doubt that Ana will hold the same sentiment, so it is with somewhat of a fear that I make my way back to the nurse¡¯s tent where I find here alone standing and cleaning the area where she cleaned up Lewis. As she turns around and sees my face, her very own seems to light up. I can, with certainty, say that we are back in our rtionship where we left off. But she is not going to like the news about toe. ¡°Boo,e sit here with me. I need to talk to you about something.¡± ¡°Sure, soldier, what is wrong?¡± ¡°We are deploying on our first mission in an hour.¡± ¡°Sorry, what?¡± ¡°There is another militant camp, and we need to find it. Ray is sending us out for surveince.¡± ¡°Fuck, soldier. I-I did not think it would happen so soon.¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Everything is going to be all right, please, I don¡¯t want you to worry.¡± ¡°Of course, I am going to worry. Those men are animals; I hate to think¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t think about that. Please will youe to sit by me while I get ready?¡± Not even having to ask once more, she takes my hand, not caring what the rest of the camp will think. I can feel there is a slight tremble as she holds firm onto my hand. I squeeze her hand just a fraction harder, just to assure her that there is nothing to be afraid of. As we get inside of my tent, I see as she watches me intently while packing only the bare necessities in my backpack. She is beyond terrified as she is not even able to say a single word. And as we step outside only a half an hourter, I find my squad waiting, ready to go get these bastards. They will not get the chance to even set their foot near us again, and that is what Ana needs to understand, we are doing this so everybody else can be safe. Before Ray makes his appearance, I kiss Ana gently on her lips, and I cannot help to see the tears flowing down her cheeks. I wipe them away with my fingers and softly whisper to her. ¡°Boo, I love you, everything will be okay.¡± Then finally, Rayes up to us with a few short and sweet words; there is a lot more confidence in his voice as he speaks now. ¡°Boys, go kick some but.¡± And inplete unison, only one word echoes through the camp. ¡°Oorah!¡± Chapter 53 Hiding In The Shadows I watch Ana stand motionless while she watches me as I am about to disappear into the bushes behind the very far end of the camp. Just as wepletely disappear, I turn to her onest time and mouth to her, ¡®I love you.¡¯ She waves at me, and secondster, we arepletely out of sight. I feel my heart skip a beat at the overwhelming thought that it might have been thest time that I would see her. It is absolutely absurd; that is not even a thought I need to entertain, for I shall always return to her no matter the circumstances. But I need to push this fear aside and focus on the mission at hand. So it is in absolute silence that we make our way into the forest, with Williams ahead scanning the floor and the surrounding to check for any fresh footstep. With each step, we are scanning every bush as we slowly creep our way past it. With the sun hanging low, there is a warning of rain that should be in within the next hour; if the present situation is not gloomy enough, this will indeed worsen it by a small fraction. Though taken the fear of the unknown, the constant alertness, and looming bad weather, there remains that feeling of excitement amongst us. This is our first mission, and nothing, perhaps not even intimate moments of sex, can beat it. And as I look over to Gibbs, he, as my second inmand, falls out of the row and joins me by the side. This is not really ideal, but there is something on his mind. ¡°Sergeant, forgive me if I am being forward, but how are you feeling?¡± ¡°Gibbs, I appreciate the concern; I am well. I promise you that you shall be the first to know if I feel different.¡± Before he falls back in row, he gives me an update, ¡°Williams has given word that we are getting halfway to where we shall put up camp.¡± And not even a few minutester, it seems that I have underestimated the weather, for the rain startsing down hard. I feel as the drops beat hard onto my skin. Could it not have waited until we are undercover, but that is not my only concern; it poses as apletely new problem. We are now moving into the unknown; we have no idea what we are headed into. All the signs of movement through this very path and those around us have now been removed in an instant. Now the real mission starts. ¡­Ana POV¡­ At times like this, I wish that nurses are allowed to go out with a quad, but yes, even though the need sounds reasonable, the logic is that it is not wise for one that is not trained. And not even to mention that a woman shall be the far better target to capture. So I need to have faith in Ethan; I don¡¯t know why I keep on thinking that he is not capable of doing this. I guess in my own cruel way; I am judging him by his disability that he shall not be able to handle himself as an able body Marine shall. This makes me no better than everyone else outside in the world beyond this camp. The very fact that he is here, that he has disappeared off into the forest, just proves and is a reminder that he can and will set his heart to everything that he stands and believes in. But there is a different kind of trouble that is looming here, in fact only with me, for I shall need to make a decision. Ray has just informed me that there shall be a supply neing in tomorrow. I shall need to make the decision if I am remaining here or if I am going to go. This is not how I would have like to make this decision; I wish that Ethan would have been her. Yes, I do know that he said that he would like me to stay, but I still wanted to discuss this with him. So not having him here while he is on this dangerous mission makes me feel kind of heartless. Here I am, wanting to run away from something I can not handle, while he is running towards the thing that he needs to protect us from. Do I even dare to think of doing this now, at this time? But Ray said that this should be the only opportunity I can get, for they need to bring in another nurse to take my ce then. I guess I have proven to everyone that I am weak and not the strong woman I pretend to be. And let is emphasize strong; I am not even close to it no matter what everyone tells me. Now the question begs, what am I going to do? ¡­Ethan POV¡­ We are two-thirds of the way to where we need to be; the rain ising harder with each second that passes. It hase to a point where we can barely see in front of us. Now, do we wait it out here or continue to push forward, hoping that it shall soon clear up. The weather here is somewhat unpredictable, so the chances that it will soon stop is rtively high. But do I want to put my squad in danger for even a few steps longer that might not even be necessary? So I call for Lewis in front of me to pass the message ahead for everyone toe to a halt. ¡°Boys, we are going to have to wait here.¡± My wordse out as a gentle whisper that can barely be heard underneath the thunder. ¡°Double up under nearby shelter. Let us rather wait this one out.¡± With that, they all huddle together; once I am for absolute sure that they are under safety, do I take my ce next to Gibbs, who is looking somewhat nervous. ¡°Now it is my turn, are you okay?¡± ¡°Yes, Sergeant.¡± ¡°You forget whom you are lying to, now out with it.¡± ¡°The misses just found out that she is pregnant. I hate not being there with her.¡± ¡°Well, congrattions! But I am sure that she understands how hard it is for you to do this. When did she find found out?¡± ¡°Yesterday, if I knew I don¡¯t think I would have deployed, does that make me a bad Marine?¡± ¡°That makes you a good father.¡± These words do set his mind at ease. He is the best in my squad that I have got; it would be sad to see him go. I guess for some; their priorities change; it is not like we are eighteen anymore. Now someone that has just step out of his teens is Lewis, the boy is just a little bit over twenty, but he has be that ray of sunshine we need at times like this. I think I should rephrase and say ray of stupid. The boy is going to be a good Marine, but hecks everything else. It is his constant wisecracks that are entertaining us here in the middle of god knows nowhere, so as well listen to him, we almost forget where we are. But it is Williams that soon reminds as he calls for silence. He looks at me, with eyes wider than usual, and as softly as he can utter, he says the words that we were not hoping to hear from him, ¡°Someone ising.¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. We fall back even deeper off the path into thick brush. Once we are very confident that we can not be seen from the pathway, we get down on our stomachs,ying like a snake in the darkness, not even able to hear our own breath under the calmness. Not even a finger is stirring as itys softly against the trigger. With the earth covering our faces, we are melted into the surroundings; and we wait. We wait. And for a fraction longer, we wait. Until theye into sight, we can hear their cheerful chatter; they are obviously unaware of our presence. The question is, do we wish to make them aware that we are lurking here in the bushes, or do we want them to pass? They might not even be our target; they might easily be militia that has wandered from the city into the forest; for what reason, I do not know. We are not ready to start a war with something bigger, well, not for the time being. We are here to get intel to eliminate a threat that is standing in the way of our bigger picture. So after carefully considering our options, I show for the rest of the squad to be on the lookout but not act if they truly have to. I listen as the voices inch closer and closer, above the rain, it is not clear to what they are saying, but they are speaking their ownnguage. This only heightens the tensions and nervousness that I fill boiling in my stomach. And as I try to listen with a deeper purpose, there is one thing that bes clear. The longer I listen, the more I be certain, then, in an instant, it takes over my body. ¡°I know the voice of one man.¡± Chapter 54 Back From The Dead What terrifies me the most? The sounds of their voices getting louder as they are getting closer? Or the crippling thought that I have heard this voice before? Here, where I had felt safe only a second ago, I have an incredible fear that in only a few seconds, my trembling body shall be discovered and that I shall be ripped from underneath the thick brush. So, with a suffocating grip on my heart, I wait patiently as their feet passed me one by one. The sounds of their boots squashing as they disappear into the mud are even more horrifying than the deepughter that ising from their chest. The mere sight of their belt-fed machine guns brings so many memories crashing into my mind. For one moment, it feels that I cannot breathe. But my determination and the mission at hand snaps any thought from my mind. This has now not only be an urgency for the protection of the camp, but I shall bring down on him what he deserves. I am not a man for revenge, but a man that is scorned is even more lethal than any gun that one can hold. This has now be a greater mission for me. What finally seems like a near twenty minutes of hiding in the mud under the lush green bush, we can with confidencee from our hiding ce. The first to say a word is Gibbs, but only in confidence to me. ¡°Sergeant, I am sorry if I am speaking out of my turn, but the one man does sound familiar.¡± I need not have to answer; the simple drop of my head to my leg says all I need to say. But this does bring a whole new concern to light. ¡°But Sergeant, was this man not supposed to be dead?¡± ¡°My very same question Gibbs, I think that someone is going to have some exining to do.¡± ¡°Do you want us to push ahead?¡± ¡°Yes, the sooner we get this done, then we cane back to take these bastards out.¡± Between Gibbs and me, we choose not to mention anything to the rest of the squad; their focus should be on the mission at hand and not my desire that I have to settle a score. So we push further on; with each step I take, I turn around to make sure that we are not being followed. These animals do not have a calm to brutally savage you in any way that they can. As we find our way through a winding way, off the path to where we will be setting up camp, for now, I can almost sigh in half relief. The easy part is done, now for, do I even dare to say the most thrilling part of our mission. In less than five minutes, each man has his tent erected; while Williams keeps watch, the rest of us run through our next step. We shall move inter under the cover of darkness and observe their camp. We shall be looking for weak spots where it shall be easy to enter, the security patrolling the camp, their numbers, and most of all, find the main tent where we shall find the leader. And more importantly, where to head for the battle ops tent before they destroy any information that shall give us an idea of why they are out here. After wheying in all our options, we take a much needed break, and Lewis also relieves Williams, whoes directly to me with what seems a great concern on his face as he approaches me. ¡°Sergeant, I know that this is not my ce, but I do believe that I heard the voice of a man that we have encountered before.¡± ¡°Yes, Williams, you are correct. Please keep this between us; I do not wish to put fear in these men.¡± ¡°Sergeant, I promised you that if I get the chance, I will slice him apart.¡±Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Oh, I want to be the one that will be doing that. I want to see the look on his face when he realizes who I am.¡± ¡°Pushing that to the side, I just want toe to give you an update; I am for certain that we shall be safe here. Can I be as bold and say that you can rest, we have traveled quite a distance today.¡± ¡°Thank you, Williams, but I shall be doing no resting. Give the word to the rest of the camp that they can do so.¡± With that, Williams is gone, leaving me with my own turmoil in my mind. I have dreamt so many nights about what I shall do if this day would evere. And today it has, and now I have no idea what to do with him. Do I truly want to be the same monster as him? Is there trulyfort in revenge? Even though it might not take the pain away, shall it make it somewhat better if he receives as what he gave? The thing is that any one of these men shall do the very same thing. Some would be for their own personal reasons, as where some others would do it in retaliation for what I have been put through. That is what makes us brothers, that is why we have a bond that no man, not even another squad in the camp, can break. I shall give my life for every single one of them. So as evening approaches, we pack up our stuff and make the silent way into the forest. It only takes us a few miles, and we can start seeing the flicker of camp lights up in the distance. With a few hand signals, Williams shows for us to lower down to a chrouching position. We form a close circle as I start to give the orders for every one to split off into groups of two. With Lewis by my side, I watch as the man is eagerly anticipating the excitement of his first mission. I only but smile at him; I can remember when I was a rookie, I thought I was unstoppable. I shall let him savor his moment. Then we get into ce behind a ratherrge rock that is in line with what seems to be the main tent. I observe as each mane and go out of it, seeking the one thing that I am looking for. And as if on perfect timing, I see him emerge out of the tent. I look on over to Lewis, and my god, the man is sitting with a pencil and a little pocket book drawing a map of the camp. I can only but smile at his brilliance. I show for him where to ce the battle ops tent, and as the asshole walks further through the camp, we can easily ce the location of his tent. While we are cing each location, the number of tents, and the significance that we assume they hold, Gibbs counts the number of militants. Williams is surveying their defenses and establishes the ease we shall have in entering, the weak spots, and the ones that we cannot by any way get through. This we do throughout the entire evening, then for the whole of the morning until early afternoon. Once I am satisfied that we have got all the intel needed, we fall back into the deep forest. We all sigh out with the satisfaction of a mission well done, but there is no time for celebration just yet; we need to find our way home without getting noticed. Back into file, we make the way through a far drier thick brush. It takes us once again, the better half of the afternoon and early evening, to follow the very same trail back home. With the camping into sight, I can feel all that nervous tension escape. And with a final foot past patrol, a loud cheer amongst ourselves echoe thrugh the camp. In less than a minute, we are surrounded by the other squads greeting us with a much needed wee. But the job is not yet done, and I have a few questions of my own. So as my eyes scan for Ray, we finally meet up in the battle ops tent. ¡°Well, Sergeant, well done on a very sessful first mission. I am proud of you; you have once again proven me wrong.¡± ¡°Yes, about that Ray. I was very surprised by what we found over there.¡± ¡°What do you mean? Is there something that we did not expect?¡± ¡°Well, you can say more, something that I did not expect. Now please, before you choose to insult me and lie to my face, I beg you, man, to man to be honest.¡± ¡°Sure Ethan, man to man, what has got you so bothered?¡± ¡°Whatever happened to them?¡± ¡°Who? Whom are you referring to?¡± ¡°The two assholes that left me half a Marine.¡± I watch as the anger creeps into Ray¡¯s face; I am not sure if he is upset that I even dare to ask him such a thing. ¡°Ethan, you are not half a Marine; you are a Marine. As for those two, they were supposed to be held captive.¡± ¡°What do you mean by supposed to be held captive. I thought they were dead?¡± ¡°Well, no. We decided to take them captive for intel, but we got ambushed.¡± ¡°Do not fucking tell me that they got away?¡± ¡°I am afraid to say that they both did.¡± I feel as if the wind has been knocked from my chest; a burning fire takes a hold of my heart. I can barely think of one simple thought as there are so many awful ones that are running through my mind. The visionse flooding back, and I can not help to but swallow hard as I remember all the sensations of pain. There is a sting that rips through my leg; I have to fight every urge to grab hold of it. And as I am about to see stars, I keep reminding myself that I cannot fall apart, but I am so close. Pushing tears away that will bring me so muchfort; I pull myself straight. ¡°Ray, I have good news for you.¡± ¡°What do you mean, Ethan?¡± ¡°You have just found them.¡± Chapter 55 All That Is Broken I feel let down that Ray will keep something as important as this from me. I have now reached a point where I am beyond frustrated that everyone feels the need to treat me like a porcin doll. I am a Marine, but even more importantly, I am a man. I am not a little boy that needs his handheld; I do not need anyone to fight my battles for me, and least of all, I will not let anyone tell me what to do. Life is too damn short to waste your time on trying to fix something that is not broken. Yes, my body might be broken, but it does not mean that I can not perform at the best of my ability. I, and I can proudly say it; I am even far better than your average Marine. Every single man in this camp has his own problems. Am I sitting here and judging him? Now talking about men, where is Ana? I would have thought that she would be there to greet us. Well, I love the woman, but sometimes I do fear that she does not have her priorities straight either. She, after all, is one of the many ones that think I need to be pampered. Soldier rest, soldier stay off your leg, soldier drink your medication. Soldier! Soldier! Soldier! What the fuck happened to say I love you instead? With all this frustration, I make my way to her tent to check up on her. As I am walking there, I am trying my best to clear my mind, for I know that I am going to take this out on her. But to no avail, I cannot shake the anger that is brewing inside. It is twisting and turning a knot in my stomach. It is a suffocating pain that I am feeling. The feeling of betrayal runs deep. I do not hold a grudge, but it is hard to see beyond forgiveness. I do not see myself granting anyone the luxury of this. So after what feels like an agonizing few minutes too long, I am at the entrance of Ana¡¯s tent. Now, of course, I cannot knock, and I cannot particrly stand here and yell for her, so I sneak in, and what do I find? Nothing. No Ana. Completely calm, maybe more a little annoyed, I walk over to the nurse¡¯s tent. And do I find Ana? No. Who I do find is Emily with an eager smile. Yes, I know exactly what this woman is thinking. ¡°I am not here for you. Where is Ana?¡± ¡°Oh, did you misce your girlfriend? You never were quite well with women.¡± ¡°I am going to reserve myments here. Now stop being a bitch and tell me where Ana is?¡± ¡°She has gone to the supply ne.¡± ¡°And?¡± ¡°And she has gone to the supply ne.¡± ¡°Emily, my patience is very thin at the moment. Just tell me where she is?¡± ¡°I told you the supply ne. Ray said that if she wishes to leave, then she has to do it now.¡± I feel as my blood starts to boil; I know that Emily won¡¯t lie about something like this, well maybe, just maybe, yes. If there is a chance for her to hurt me, then this is a perfect way for her to piss me off. ¡°Emily, how long ago did she leave?¡± ¡°Oh, this morning already.¡± ¡°What! You are fucking lying.¡± ¡°No, you can check with Ray.¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. Thest thing I want to do now is talking to him. God, who knows, he might even try to sugarcoat it and pretend that it is okay. Or as they say, it is for the best. Well, say best my ass. I am now officially done with Ana and her issues. We all came here with a purpose, and her purpose is to try and run away as far as possible. As I walk out of the nurse¡¯s tent, I still optimistically scan the camp to see if I can see her walking around. I go back to her tent to check if she has left, and as I cannot find any of her belongings, it confirms that she has left me once again. ¡­Ana POV¡­ What a damn mess; I am so exhausted after that. I did not think I would walk that path so soon again, but I am so relieved that I am finally in a bed that is morefortable. I do wish that being this side shall give me that peaceful sleep that has been eluding me for the past two days. I was so hoping that Ethan would havee back sooner than, but I just could not wait anymore. He is going to be so angry; I know how important this is for him; all he wants is for me to be by his side. And I cannot even get a simple thing right. I am sure that he shall understand. Tomorrow he would hopefully already have forgotten. So as Ipletely drift off, I am sadly proven wrong as the nightmarese creeping up with the fear of seven horrors. ¡°¡±I am going to teach you a lesson.¡± I hear his voice echo in my head over and over again. The sounds are barely audible under the cackle of a deep rumblingughter. I feel as terror crawls up my spine; he has now slowly begun to pop the buttons from my shirt one by one with a razor-sharp knife. My body goes stiff, and I beg. The more I beg, therger his very clear pleasure begins. ¡°Please, I beg you, please, please let me go. I promise I will tell no one.¡± He throws his head back, ¡°Ha! Do you think that I am stupid?¡± Well, I do, but if I utter one more word, I am afraid of what he is going to do. I clench my hands in a fist on squeeze my eyes close. ¡°Open your eyes,¡± he says. ¡°I want you to watch.¡± My throat bes dry. I grin my teeth hard. My toes curl as my body threatens to give in. ¡°Now let us see what you have got here,¡± he slowly but seems to be very satisfied as he positions his knife at the sp of my bra. ¡°Please, please don¡¯t do this, you don¡¯t need to do this,¡± my please fall onto deaf ears. ¡°Oh, what you don¡¯t understand, my dear girl, this is exactly what I want to do. ¡°Aaahhh!¡± my voice echoes as he slices me down between my cleavage. I look down horrified. There is blood pouring from a clear deep wound. And then¡­¡±¡± I wake up in a clear sweat. My heart is pounding in my throat. The sweat is running down my face. And as I sit up, I pull my shirt away to reveal the very wound that his knife inflicted on me. Thank god Ethan did not see it; I really wish that he was here. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ I am going to bed. I have had my fair share of disappointment today. The man that I have looked up to for the past seven years has let me down. On top of that, the woman that I love has just deserted me; she did not even have the guts to say goodbye. Guess everyone will think poor Ethan, then they shall treat me like a baby all over again. It does not take me long before I am fast asleep. But then the very thing that I thought I have long gotten over starts to haunt me again. His face appears in front; it shakes me to my very being to have him so close to me again. ¡°¡±I am going to get the location out of you, even if I have to rip your skin from your body,¡± I hear as he stands tall over me with his gun pointed against my forehead. I feel the fear of hell shake my bones, but I shall not show him that he is making my skin crawl. I can see as his unsteady hand shake, it is only going to take one small jerk, and that bullet shall travel through that barrel. But then something catches his eye. ¡°Oh, my dear, look, the poor soldier got injured,¡± hisughter vibrates against the walls. I watch as there is wickedness that sneaks up in his evil eyes. And without even having to hesitate, he takes the grip of his gun and¡­Wham¡­ ¡°Aaahhh!¡± He smashes it straight onto the broken bone that is sticking out of my leg where it has pierced through my skin. He smiles like there is no tomorrow as he sees the tremble in my body. Then once again¡­m¡­ ¡°Aaahhh!¡± I grind hard on my teeth and clench my fists. God, how I wish I can get out of these ropes, for he is going to wish that he was dead. ¡°Aaahhh,¡± my words shake over my lips as he stomps his foot onto my leg. ¡°Now, are you going to tell me where the location is?¡± Iugh at him mockingly, ¡°Go to hell first.¡±¡± I wake up screaming as I am ripped back into reality. Why does this feel so real? Is this going to be my reality all over again? I really wish that Ana was here. Chapter 56 Settling A Score To Settle It is early morning, just before sunrise. We are all lining up, waiting for Ray to brief us on the mission that lies ahead. I will be honest; my head is not in the game. I am still very much upset at Ray and Ana. I cannot shake the feeling of rage that I feel towards them both for betraying me. Somehow I can still ept Ray, I guess he was just trying to protect me, but Ana, that is a low blow. I keep on convincing myself that she is only feeling lost and scared, and yes, I understand that, but to leave and not say goodbye. If she had this in mind, why did she not tell me? I try to push this to the back of my head and listen to the n of attack. Ray is going over each detail twice and then wait for the third time. The n is clear; we will attack them after sunset; we need to catch thempletely off guard. MacKey will take them from the south; we will move in at the northside. The attack will be swift; there will be no one left alive; our interest is not in taking prisoners. I am going to make one thing clear; no man shall touch that asshole; I am taking him out myself. I want to see the horror on his face when he looks me into the eyes. I shall be the one thatughsst; yes, I wish that I can take my time and torture every bone in his body. I shall get my revenge, and I shall smile every minute that he is slowly bleeding to death at my feet. So just as we are about to disperse, I call Ray to the side to apologize. ¡°Hey, Ray, I must apologize for acting like a jerk. I was so blinded by rage that I failed to think that you are only protecting me.¡± ¡°Ethan, I know you are very capable of dealing with your demons on your own. I foolishly thought that you needed to be shielded. I believe you shall get the justice that you are seeking tonight. I beg of you; please be careful.¡± ¡°Well,¡± I say as the very words run through my mind. ¡°I know that you will be there if I mess up.¡± With that, I make my leave; it is time to get this game rolling. But just as I walk out of the battle ops tent. ¡°What the fuck.¡± I think that my mind must be deceiving me, ¡°Hey, soldier.¡± ¡°Ana? I, I thought that you left?¡± ¡°Left?¡± She looks at me as she cocks her head. ¡°Where on earth would I have left?¡± ¡°You were not here when we came back?¡± ¡°Sorry about that. After walking up and down from the supply ne, I was just exhausted.¡± ¡°But you were not in your tent?¡± ¡°Oh, I ask Ray if he could move me; I do not feel safe on the outskirts of the camp.¡± I feel as relief sets over my body; I cannot believe that I was so mad at her, who I should be mad at is Emily. And it is that rage that finds me walking up to the nurse¡¯s tent. There in all her glory, she stands with a stupid dumb ass smirk on her face. I do not even care for what I am about to say. ¡°You know what, Emily, I cannot believe you can be so cruel. Oh, wait, you did leave me hanging dry when I was in the hospital. You are nothing but a little bitch. I am sorry that I everid my eyes on you.¡± ¡°But Ethan¡­¡± ¡°The name is Ethan. Do you want me to spell it out for you?¡± ¡°I, I did not mean¡­¡± ¡°Bullshit! You meant every word. You have tried from day one to get between Ana and me. Well, guess what?¡± ¡°No?¡± ¡°Your immature ass is not going to get it right. Now I want you to listen to me very carefully. If I catch you looking at Ana in the wrong way, I will kick your ass right back home. Do you understand me?¡± ¡°But Ethan¡­¡± ¡°Have you gone deaf? The name is Ethan; in fact, it is Sergeant. Now go find something useful to do.¡± As I turn around, I look at Ana that can hardly contain herughter. ¡°Soldier, you should have let me punch her.¡± Myughter vibrates through the camp, ¡°Boo, she is not worth the trouble.¡± I then take her hand and lead her to my tent. And as I pass Gibbs, he looks at me amused. ¡°Oh god, please, try to keep it quiet.¡± I only but wave him off as we walk inside, ¡°Boo, please, can you justy by me? There is something that I need to tell you.¡± ¡°Sure, what is the matter?¡± I proceed to tell her about that guy that tortured me and that he is very much alive. She knows the pain it brought to me, but more importantly, she knows that I need to do this to resolve and put this nightmare behind me. There is nothing but concern in her eyes as she takes my hand in hers. ¡°Soldier, there is something I need to tell you.¡± ¡°Boo?¡± She starts to unbutton her shirt; I nearly fall off my bed at her boldness. She softly chuckles, ¡°Oh, I am not that easy. You know that you need to work for it.¡± ¡°Seriously? Since when?¡± Then she slowly starts to pull her shirt open; what is see shocks me into horror, ¡°Boo, what happened?¡± ¡°That man, the one that you killed, he cut me while he held me in that tent.¡± I pull her dead into my embrace and ce her head tightly against my chest. ¡°Boo, I am so sorry. I failed you.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t say that. It was my own stupidity.¡± In an instant, I pull her away from my chest and seek her deep brown eyes. ¡°It is not your fault. Do not ever say that. You cannot help that the man is a monster.¡± With that, Iy her gently next to me on the bed; in no time at all, I fall asleep, but I am awoken by her screams. It breaks my heart the she has to have such an evil man torment her dreams. A few hourster, I wake her; it is time for us to head out. I give her a soft kiss against her forehead, ¡°I love you. I will see youter.¡± ¡°I love you too, soldier, please be careful.¡± I meet up with my squad outside, and of course, Williams feels the need to crack a stupid joke. ¡°Mmm, how did you get her to shut up?¡± Then Gibbs adds, ¡°I think he gave her something to put in her mouth.¡± ¡°My god!¡± I exim. ¡°Have you two gone mad? And in any case, why are you listening to us?¡± We all burst out inughter as we make our way out deeper into the forest. The mood goes from nervous to somewhat terrified. And it is a very worried Lewis thates to walk next to me. The poor boy is shocked pale, his voice is somewhat stuttering, ¡°Sergeant, have you ever killed a man?¡± ¡°Yes, I have.¡± ¡°Is it easy? Is it easy to take someone¡¯s life?¡± ¡°Lewis, it is never easy to take the power into your hands, but what you need to remember, and please by no way think it should justify the act. What you should keep in mind is that they will not hesitate to take yours. It is survival; it is a question ofing out alive. And these men are evil; they torture and kill people for pleasure.¡± ¡°Sergeant, if I can be so forward. I heard the men talking about him, the man that hurt you. Will it be easy to kill him? ¡°No, of course not. And yes, I am filled with the purpose of taking revenge on him. But does it truly make you feel better? Does it take the nightmares away? No, not at all. An eye for an eye? Definitely. I shall never forget what I did to him, and killing him will not be near enough to what he did to me.¡± And as we get closer to our destination, it is that thought that consumes my mind. If I do not end his trail of destruction, what shall he do next? Who will be his next victim? Then finally, we see the lights of their campe into sight. There is a cheerful chattering from it; they have no idea of the danger that awaits them. It seems that this is going to be far easier than we thought. While we wait for the perfect moment to attack, the raines pouring down again. The perfect somber mood, the perfect type of dreaded atmosphere. Let thest moments of their lives be spent in misery. We watch as most of them take shelter from the rain in their tents. This ys exactly into our hands; they shall not see us until we are on top of them.Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. As I watch the final one of them make his way to his tent, for a brief moment, he stares unknowingly into my direction. My body goes numb, and it bes hard to breathe. But there is no doubt; it is him. Softly under my breath, I whisper to myself, ¡°I aming for you.¡± Chapter 57 Every Dog Has It鈥檚 Day The lush green bushes are the only barrier to safety we have from imminent danger. In the dark of the night, we are hiding, ready for the attack. To say that there is not one nervous bone would be a lie, for, amongst the excitement, there is a sense of dread. The enemy is ruthless, and they shall not take kindly to our invasion; they wille dome with force. My only mission is there walking in his own delusion grandeur. Revenge is going to be swift but very much sweet. I am not a man that holds a grudge and stew on things, but there are certain things that you shall not forgive. Tonight I will get the closure that I have been seeking for. The minute I watch his body drop to the floor is the minute that I can safely go ahead and live my life in peace. This I not only need for me, but I need to do this for us, for Ana and me. I cannot be a man if I live my life in the past. She knows what I am set to do tonight, and she gives me her unconditional support. I cannot think of any other woman to spend my life with. Who knows that after what we have gone through, she shall agree to carry my ring on her finger again.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. But let us not get ahead of ourselves; I need to focus on the mission ahead. So as the rain starts pounding harder, it creates the perfect condition to make our move. This is it; this is now, we are doing this. With a few hand signals, I show for my squad to make their attack. As I sleek tiger, we move out from our cover. I feel the wet leaves brush against my skin as I slowly rise. My feet sink into the mud. The rain beats against my face. Exhration consumes my body. With each step, the adrenaline starts pumping. Everything around me seizes to exist. It is the enemy and me. It is me and the elimination of danger. I check my gun. I secure my knife. I push forward. I see the camping closer. I take one deep breath as wee to the perimeter. And then¡­one¡­two¡­three, I step over the edge of safety into danger. With MacKey in sight, we spread out and fill the camp. We areing from all sides. We make our way to the opening of a tent. Then, I push the point of my gun past the opening of the tent. With one loud BANG! I let the full force of my bullets fill the corners of the tent. All chaos breaks loose. Within the camp, from everywhere, they start to pile from their safety. From deep inside the tent that I am facinges a man that towers me. He has his gun pointed to my face. Well, that is not happening. With one soft squeeze of the trigger, he tumbles to the floor. From behind, I hear the loud scream of a brave soul running up to me. In mere seconds he falls to the floor in a piece of bundled flesh. And, as they clear the way for me, I find my way to seek for him. He has not yete from his tent. What a coward. He can torture, but he can not face a bullet. He is mine. He will see the sight of darkness. He shall move into nothing. I shall not falter. I am here to make him pay. I cannot, and I will not either let him untouched. So I find my way through the camp. The shots are short and scattered. It makes contact with each militant that is brave enough to try and overpower a force that they cannot defeat. Take no prisoners. It is you or him. If you falter for one second. You shall meet the fate that was not intended. While I hear the sounds of death fill the air, Ie up for his tent. From inside, I hear a struggle with a gun. I loud curse. The growl of a man¡¯s voice that I listened to absolute torture. This is it. This is now. Now is the time. And as he emerges from his tent rather confident, he stops dead in his tracks. Has he noticed me? Does he know the ghost that faces him? With an overconfident, cocky voice, he stares me down. ¡°And what do you think you are going to do with that toy.¡± ¡°Would you not love to know you sick bastard.¡± ¡°You say bastard, what does that make you then?¡± ¡°Far better than you; you are a waste of space.¡± ¡°And you are a bit over ambitious. Do you have any idea who I am?¡± ¡°Well, unfortunately, I do. Now let me ask you the same. Who am I?¡± I stand steady as my focus remains solid. My gun does not move an inch from his forehead. My hands do not tremble. My voice is firm. He has not power over me. The field isid equal. If he so much as presses that trigger, he will find himself in a pile next to me on the floor. I can say with certainty that I can easily say I have lived my life to its full purpose. But I am not dying today. It is the filth that shall blend into the mud. So as heughs from the depths of his belly, he mocks me again, ¡°Please, please give me the honor and tell me who your useless ass is?¡± ¡°Mmm, you must be very blind, or you just torture way too many victims.¡± ¡°Ah, so you are here for revenge? Well, boy, revenge is bitter. It shall haunt you. That is if you even get the chance to pull that trigger.¡± I watch as there is a slight tremble in his hand. Either this man is scared, or he has perhaps been looking to far into the bottle. What a perfect soldier he is. Wait! I cannot even dare to refer to him as one. He is scum. He is the devil reincarnated. And he is about the be fated to his death. Without taking my gun away from him one second, I proudly lift my pants to reveal my leg. The amusement clearly starts to build on his face. ¡°Ha! Half a man. Half of an effort to rid you of your miserable existence.¡± ¡°The only one that will stop existing is you. Now, I want you to look me in the eye. I want you to notice the man that is about to take your life. I want you to know who I am.¡± ¡°Do you really think I care?¡± ¡°Well, you are about to be dead. Would you not like to know?¡± ¡°Fair, then humor me and tell me why you should be of importance.¡± Without having to go into details, Iy out for him who he is faced with. I watch as that amusement turns into horror. There are seven sensations of terror that flow over his face in an instant. I cannot help let theughter rumble from my chest. ¡°Now who isughing? A ghost from your past. Well, they do have the nasty habit of haunting you.¡± ¡°Is this truly going to satisfy you? Is taking my life going to bring you back what you have lost?¡± ¡°Damn right it is. There is no way I am leaving here without your head on a te.¡± Then in an instant, as he realized that he is defeated by a man with a purpose, he fumbles like a coward and begs for his life. The sound is sweet. It ys as music to my ears. I am not faltering. This¡­this filth can rot in hell. I have reached the end of affording him the luxury of speaking. I look with a very satisfied smile on my face. The time hase. ¡°Let us just say an eye for an eye. Every time I look at what you have done to me, I am going to remember this day. I want you to have my face tormenting you in hell. You might have taken my leg, but you have not taken me.¡± Then, in three¡­two¡­one, I gently squeeze the trigger. I feel as the gun slightly jolts. I feel the barrel slightly vibrate as the bullet slides its way through it. In slow motion, I look on as it travels through the air. It ms into his skin. In an inch of a second, I watch in a strange way of satisfaction as he falls to the floor. Which a loud thud, his head disappears into the mud. I turn my back on him and return to my squad that has been looking on. They do not say a word. I know that they carry the same sentiment. Yes, a life for a life. It was either him or me. The moment that we made contact, I knew that only one of us wille out alive. I was a man with a purpose, but most of all, I am a Marine that seeked justice. I am not half a man, and no man shall ever dare to say that. I look at my boys, ¡°Let¡¯s go home.¡± Chapter 58 Laid In Destruction ¡­Ana POV¡­ In the deep of the night, I pace my way barefoot up and down the camp. My hair is getting soak, and my toes are disappearing deep into the mud. Why on such an evening does it have to rain so hard. The same hardness the thoughts are pounding through my mind. Is Ethan okay? Why? Why now did they have to do it¡± If it were not raining so hard, I would have felt better, or is that even the truth. What if I did not walk myself into trouble? Would this have happened? There are so many what-ifs. Then I feel a hande from behind and rest on my shoulder. As I spin around and nearly slide off my feet, I see Ray, showing for me toe in from the rain. I have been doing it for hours. As I finally step out into the dry tent, he hands me a towel and a hot cup of coffee. ¡°You are going to drive yourself crazy out there; the boys are fine, don¡¯t let your head tell you any different.¡± ¡°How, how can you be so sure?¡± ¡°They have just radio in; they are on their way back.¡± ¡°And¡­and Ethan?¡± ¡°Now, why would you think that stubborn boy will note back? There is only one thing that draws him back here with everything in his body, and right now, she is making me dizzy pacing up and down.¡± I jump up in sheer joy and throw my arms around his shoulder. For a fraction of a minute, I hold on and thank him over and over that the boys will being back home safely. But that is¡­this time. Wait until the next timees. Rays lets go of me and sit down next to me, ¡°I guess it is the best time to tell you the news. Now I know a lot of the boys are going to be disappointed, but I know you will be happy. I just don¡¯t know how Ethan is going to take it.¡± And what he says blows me awaypletely, this is going to hurt Ethan, now the question begs, who will be the one that is going to tell him. Does Ray want me to do it? Or is he the one that is going to shatter Ethan into pieces?¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ It is with pride that we make our way out of the destruction that we have just caused, not truly destruction but a prevention to what would have been a problem. My gut tells me that this group has a bigger part to y in what is happening in the city. We might have just made a far bigger difference than we think we have. All I can now say is that I haveid a demon to rest; there will be no need for him to sneak his ugly head into my dreams. I have made peace that yes, I am disabled, but I am proud and disabled, and there is nothing that can now stand between me and the rest of the struggles that await. I have proven it to myself that I am a man that can achieve what he sets his heart at. We leave the camp behind in mes, burning the evil thatid waiting to make its way into the city; we disappear into the woods where we came from so silently. The rain is now starting to clear; far over the horizon, the sun is starting to hug the horizon. The raindrops glisten on the leaves, there is the scent of fresh flowers that fills the air. A new day has begun. We are eager to get home, not only to see the others but to get the remains of battle washed from our bodies. But I am, most of all, looking forward to seeing Ana. Apart from my own determination to settle a score, she is the only one that pushed me right until the end. Her face is the very first I want to see as we step through those trees. And as we do¡­there she is! Shees rushing over me, she is barefoot andpletely soaked wet, but nothing is stopping her way from running as fast as her body can carry her. Shees only but a mere step away from me; she leaps through the air and throws her arms around my neck, and ps her legs around my waist. She begins to cry uncontrobly, through stuttering sobs, she cries over and over, ¡°My god, you are back, you are back, soldier; you made it back.¡± I chuckle at her a little and crush my lips against hers, ¡°Boo, I cannot breathe.¡± ¡°What? Where? Are you hurt? I cannot see anything?¡± ¡°You are squashing me to death.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± she shyly looks from underneath her eyshes as she slips off from my body. But then she excitement turns to concern, ¡°Are you really okay? I mean, that man, what happened?¡± ¡°Let me go have a shower, and then I will tell you all about it.¡± I drop my gear at my tent and grab a fesh towel; as I head out, I turn around to see that Ana is following me. ¡°Boo, you can wait at the tent; I won¡¯t take long.¡± ¡°Nah, I shall stand outside.¡± ¡°Mmm, you are acting a bit creepy, but fine, you can wait outside.¡± As I drop every inch of my fabric from my body, the night fades away; the demons are wiped clean, there is nothing left for me to fear anymore, well, only the fear of asking Ana to marry me one day again. As I step into the shower, it feels like little angels dancing on my skin; each little drop washes away the memories and everything that happened in there. A slight breeze tickles my skin; I close my eyes as I let the water stream down my face. When I finally open my eyes, ¡°Boo, what are you doing in here?¡± ¡°What does is it look like? I am having a shower.¡± ¡°Uhm, with all the men?¡± ¡°Well, they can wait until I am finished.¡± ¡°Finished with what?¡± I see her slip her ckce underwear off and step into the shower with me. Damn, she is a sight to behold, especially when she is standing naked in front of me. I step back to allow the shower head to spray her with droplets that do nothing but entuate her body; they glisten down her breasts and trickle down her stomach. ¡°God boo, how am I suppose to keep my hands off you in here?¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ I watch as he smiles and gently bites down into his bottom lip. I know what he is about to do, and god, I am going to let him do whatever he desires. He easily picks my tiny frame up and ces me against the wall; I wrap my legs around his back. I kiss him on the lips. What starts as an innocent peck turns into an instant hunger. His arms grip around me tighter. My arms are around his neck as our lips melt into one. I suck on his bottom lip, and a moan escapes from deep in his throat. I can feel him harden between my open and parted legs. Our kisses be even more intense, and our carnal desires even harder to fight. I take his hard length and slide it down between my folds. When it reaches the tender skin of my wet entrance, a deep growl rolls over his lips. I look into his eyes; they beg; he wants his raging erection to consume every part of me. He tightens his grip around my ass and thrusts full and hard. He retracts and drives just as hard but only faster than before. He slips out again and crashes hard. The sex is loud and brutal. With every sharp thrust, our skin ps together, wet and luscious. My cries grow louder, more desperate, as the pleasure mounts. I am on fire; I am panting and moaning as the ache between my legs is throbbing.Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. As he finally drops me down to my feet, I can do nothing other than a smile to myself. I love pleasing him; I love the warm afterglow I get when I see him so satisfied¡­and so happy. After every time he loses control, he gets this cheesy smile, the one where his dimples show¡­and I love knowing that I am the reason behind it. He waits for me to dry off and dress. After a short while, he follows behind me to the tent with nothing but a towel wrapped around his body; thank god everyone is standing by Ray. I guess that Ray is about to break the news to everyone else. So I patiently wait for Ethan to get dressed, but before he rushes off to go and join the rest of the toon, I pull him back and sit him down onto the bed. He cocks his head and looks at me, confused, ¡°Boo, what is going on?¡± ¡°Soldier, there is something I need to tell you.¡± Chapter 59 Time For Making Them Count As I look at her with a world of questions whirling in my eyes, the very thing thates to mind, are we in danger again? Do we need to get ready to head out again? Well though I do not mind being prepared to go again so soon, I would not have mind to spend time with her and just unwind. But this is not home, and there exists no such thing. ¡°Boo, tell me what is wrong?¡± ¡°Soldier, they are calling us back home.¡± ¡°What? Why?¡± ¡°They have signed a peace treaty. They said not all of the squads are needed here anymore. There will be a few that will remain behind for at least another three weeks.¡± I pause for the moment to take it all in. Did I just hear her, right? ¡°So, I guess that we are going home,¡± I ask her, not knowing if I should be happy or relieved. I did not think we would be going home so early. ¡°Boo, how do you feel about it?¡± ¡°Soldier, I don¡¯t think I even need to answer that.¡± ¡°You know, I say let us go home. In some crooked way, I havepleted my mission. If this was the only thing that I would have down while we are out here, then I am satisfied.¡± Hearing myself saying these words does bring peace to my own heart. Though one thing that Ana should understand is that if I get called upon again that I wille without hesitating for one minute. ¡°So what do you say, soldier? Let us go home; we will be moving out,e sunrise tomorrow.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ It has been three weeks that we have been home since they have called us back. Live has settled in perfectly for us. We are still staying at the base; Ethan has made it clear that he shall deploy again if he gets the chance. Even though my heart feels mixed emotions, I know that I shall not be the reason that holds his dreams back.This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. So we are going to Ray for a small get together, well not really small for the entire toon shall be there. The rest of the squads returned back two days ago; the boys are all eager to catch up and swap stories. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ As we get to Ray, I find him standing in the kitchen with his little boy in his arms. ¡°Now, never did I think I would see a sight such as this. A big buff of a Marine is holding something so small in his hands.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t talk too soon, wait one day, this will be you.¡± ¡°Hey, don¡¯t go getting ahead of yourself. I am yet to propose again,¡± without paying attention, my mouth goes and run itself off, but lucky Ana is too busy talking to Ray¡¯s wife. Ray hands the baby to a very nervous Ana. I watch as she is not sure what to do. But just seeing her like that does warm my heart, for I know that one day she shall be a great mother. I see Ray looks over to me with a very concerned look on his face, ¡°Come, let¡¯s take a walk; I need to speak to you.¡± If there is one thing that I have gotten to learn, then it is that whenever Ray says, ¡®Let¡¯s take a walk,¡¯ something is about to change. And it usually changes in a big way. Now there is really nothing that I can think of that can change at this stage. Unless if I cannot deploy anymore, which will just shatter my heart. Guess there is always the option of getting a job here on base. But I am even scared to ask what the problem is, by the look on his face, I don¡¯t think it is quite as bad as I think. ¡°Out with it, Ray, you are killing me here.¡± ¡°We are deploying in six weeks again.¡± ¡°Fuck, that is great news.¡± ¡°I am not going to deploy.¡± ¡°What? Why?¡± There is a sparkle that glitter in his eyes, ¡°You will see one day when you have your own little one, it changes your life. I want to be there for his first year.¡± He says I have never seen him be so sure in his life before. ¡°I understand, but who is going to take your ce.¡± I pause a second, just thinking it makes my skin crawl, ¡°Please don¡¯t tell me it is Mathews?¡± I watch as a cocky smile appears in the corner of his mouth. Now, this only tells me that I am not going to like a single bit of what he says. ¡°What have you done, Ray?¡± ¡°Well, it is you.¡± ¡°What is me?¡± ¡°You, you will take over from me.¡± ¡°But I am¡­¡± The excitement takes a hold of my heart and knocks it right from the chest. ¡°Why me?¡± ¡°You are more than qualified, and you know it.¡± ¡°There are men far more deserving than me. ¡°Bullshit! Think about it; you got four weeks; I won¡¯t mention anything to the boys yet.¡± ¡°I am d that you think I am going to ept.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think, I know.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ It has been three weeks since Ethan told me the news about what Ray has said; I am not sure how I am supposed to feel about this all. I guess, in a way, as a toon leader, he will not be going out on a mission, but with me knowing Ethan, he will find a reason to. He has a week to get back to Ray; we have not really discussed it in detail. I guess that he wants to run it past his family as well. And that is where we find ourselves going today; we are on the bus on our way back home. I must say I am looking forward to seeing everyone again. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ As we pull into town, the excitement is near boiling over as I see everyone standing at the bus stop waiting for us. I can see from all this way how excited mom is jumping up and down, and next to her is dad trying to calm her down. The moment the buses to a stop, they are storming us. Mom, of course, is the first to grab us in a hug so hard that it squeezes the air from our lungs. ¡°Oh my god Ethan,¡± she mumbles between the tears,¡± Oh my god, Ana,¡± she sobs. ¡°I am so happy to see you guys.¡± ¡°Mary, you are going to squeeze them to death. Now get out the way so I can hello to my son.¡± I slightly cock my head, looking a bit confused; I guess that sensitive bone in his body did not leave it after all. Then from behind mees the man that I missed the most, ¡°Matty, damn, it is good to see your stupid ass again. He steps one step forward and ps me against the head, ¡°What the fuck was that for?¡± ¡°For making the olddy stress so much. She could not keep quiet for one second. I think she was more nervous for you than you were for yourself. Now, where is that is that sister of mine.¡± Now it is his time to get pped; I have not proposed to her again. With all of these people running their mouths, I swear she has figured it out by now. ¡°Come,¡± mom shoves us all in the car, ¡°I have made ate breakfast for us.¡± It is with happy chatter that we sit around the breakfast table; I have not told them about deploying again, I am slowly trying to build the courage up to it. But then, out of nowhere, Ana jumps from the table. ¡°If you can, just excuse me for one sec.¡± She sps her hand in front of her mouth with her hand and dashes past me. A few secondster, I hear her m what sounds like the bathroom door. With concern in her eyes, my mom looks at me. ¡°Ethan,¡± my mom looks at me, concerned, ¡°Is Ana all right?¡± ¡°She was fine this morning, mom. She has been feeling unwell for the past few days, but we just thought that was because she was getting nervous to see everybody again.¡± As she finally joins our table again and sits down next to looking rather flustered and pale, I take her hand into mine, ¡°Boo, what is wrong?¡± ¡°Nothing is wrong, soldier? There is just.¡± She hesitates for a second. She is curling a lock of hair around her finger, and she can hardly look me in the eyes. She is not one to get nervous, so I know this must be a big thing. ¡°Please don¡¯t be mad, soldier, but there is something I have to tell you. I was going to wait until we came to see your parents¡­¡± I interrupt her before she can carry on. It kills me to know that she has been keeping something from me. Even after we agreed that we would never do so again. ¡°Why would I be mad? What is going on?¡± Chapter 60 Reading Between The Lines Ana has not been herself cheerful self for the past few days. At first, I thought that she must be nervous to see everyone again. But then it started to be more serious, getting sick so often. Now it seems that she has been hiding something from me as well. We promised no more secrets; even if I say it is fine, it does make me slightly mad. ¡°Boo, what are you not telling me? Are you not deploying with me again?¡± ¡°No! No, soldier! I can¡¯t go!¡± ¡°What do you mean you can¡¯t go? Everything was fine; why have you changed my mind.¡± My mom, along with Matty, tries to excuse themselves from the kitchen, ¡°I think we will leave you kids alone. Come, John, I think we could do with a walk.¡± ¡°What makes you think I want to walk Mary.¡± Matt drags my dad by the arm towards the door, ¡°Dad, you just like to have a bit of good gossip to listen to. Sometimes I think you worse than that old Maggie.¡± Ana is standing in dead silence. She looks at them while they are arguing as she is stewing over something in her head. She is starting to make me worry. I can see tears building up in her deep brown eyes, threatening to drown and consume them. Before this happens, I ask the crowd that seems to be looking for entertainment to leave the room ¡°Can you guys give us some privacy, please?¡±This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°No soldier, please let them stay.¡± ¡°Are you sure boo, you do not seem to look so well?¡± ¡°If you can, just excuse me for one sec.¡± Ana runs off to the bathroom; I can hear getting sick from where I am sitting in my chair. She really does not sound well, be so looks fine to me. Katarina, which has joined us, looks at me just as concerned as the rest of the others around the table, ¡°Ethan, is Ana all right?¡± ¡°As I said, Katarina, she is fine.¡± ¡°Well, she sure does not look well to me at all, I have known Ana for most of my life, and the girl never gets sick. Best you get her to the doctor soldier.¡± Just then, Anaes back into the kitchen; she seems to be paler than before. Something is truly wrong; I have been so caught up in my own thing that I have not noticed that she is sick ¡°Boo, I must get you to a doctor; you are really not looking well.¡± ¡°I am really fine, soldier; it is just a little morning¡­¡± She stops dead in her sentence as if she has said something wrong. My mom looks at her with a peculiar smile on her face. Katarina also seems to share the same. Something is obviously going on that I havepletely missed. ¡°Morning? What do you by morning? Is there something wrong with you this morning? You have been ill for the past couple of mornings, in fact.¡± ¡°Oh, my dear Ethan,¡± My mom takes my hand and squeezes it real hard. Something has obviously made her day. Everyone except my dad and I have caught onto the situation. ¡°Well, I still think we should go see a doctor.¡± I turn back to Ana; she can, for some strange reason, barely look me in the eyes. ¡°I will get mom to phone Dr. Robertson this morning still.¡± ¡°There is no need, soldier. I am perfectly fine. Well, not truly fine, but what is making me sick is not bad.¡± ¡°Boo, that is by far the most confusing thing I have ever heard anyone say. Please, I insist, let me take you to the doctor. Please, do it for me. I need to hear that you are okay.¡± ¡°Okay, soldier, I will go to the doctor, but I promise you it is really not necessary.¡± ¡°Let the doctor rather be the judge of that. Mom, will you please phone Dr. Robertson for us.¡± Ana looks at my mom and nods her head. They both disappear onto the lounge to make the call. My dad turns to me and smiles. ¡°Son, believe me when I say that women bring you such joy but sometimes that can be very much difficult too.¡± ¡°Ana is known to be quite a stubborn one. I just hope that there is not anything seriously wrong.¡± My mom and Ana,e you join us again. This time though, there is a huge smile on her face. She is trying to hide it, but she is giving it a poor attempt. ¡°What are you two up to? Mom, you only smile like that when you are up to no good.¡± My dad turns and furrows his brows as he studies my mom closely, ¡°I agree with the boy Mary; what are you up to again?¡± ¡°Nothing John. Ethan, Ana, and I were just talking. Dr. Robertson said he would see you in an hour. So best you go clean yourself up. I will make some coffee while we wait for you.¡± I look suspiciously at my mom, ¡°Are you trying to get me out of the kitchen now? You guys are reacting an awful lot of suspicious.¡± ¡°Soldier, I wille with you. We are really not up to anything bad.¡± ¡°But you are up to something, boo.¡± ¡°Come, soldier, let us get you out those dirty clothes.¡± As Ana finishes her sentence, and we are about to leave, Matty shouts after us, ¡°It is getting out the clothes that got you into this trouble in the first ce.¡± I try to turn around to speak to him, but Ana pulls me by the arm, ¡°Soldier, pleasee, or we are going to bete for the appointment.¡± ¡°Only if you tell me what is going on.¡± ¡°The doctor will tell us what is going on, now pleasee.¡± We make it to my room so I can have a shower and put some fresh clothes on. I turn to Isabelle as she goes to sit on the bed. Shecks expression on her face, and I know that something is wrong. There is a twinkle in her eye, and her face is glowing a soft rose pink. Something is stirring in her that she won¡¯t admit. ¡°Boo, please, tell me what is wrong. Please let me help you. Why do you say that you could not go? Has something that I do not know of?¡± ¡°Soldier, do you trust me?¡± ¡°Of course, I do?¡± ¡°And you love me?¡± ¡°You know more than anything.¡± ¡°Then let us wait until we get to the doctor. I am sure that everything will then make sense.¡± I pull her into my embrace, and she snuggles into the crevices of my muscled chest. I feel her press into every ounce that is me. I wrap my arms around her in a soft cocoon. I know as she gets lost in the warmth that she feels protected. ¡°Soldier, you are the only person that I know that gives indefinite hugs.¡± ¡°Where else would I rather be boo than herewith you?¡± ¡°I love you, soldier.¡± ¡°And I love you to infinity and beyond.¡± Her breathing starts to slow, and I can feel her melt into me; every muscle in her body begins to rx. Just for this moment, just for now, I know that she truly is okay. She stays locked in my arms for another few minutes and slowly pulls away ¡°Come, we are going to bete.¡± She links her fingers into mine; I feel the slight tremble in her hands as she grips onto mine tightly. I give her a soft kiss on her temple, and we walk hand in hand out the room and outside. The walk to the doctor¡¯s room is mainly quiet; in just under twenty minutes, we are sitting in the waiting room. The nervous tension is undeniable. I truly wish she would tell me what the matter is. It breaks my heart that she feels she cannot confide in me. We only wait for another five minutes and get called into the consultation room. ¡°Do you want me toe with you, boo?¡± ¡°Yes, please, soldier.¡± We enter the room and take a seat behind the desk. Dr. Robertson seems to be as friendly as ever. For as long as I can remember, he has been the local doctor in our little town, ¡°Morning Ethan. Are you doing all right this morning? Is the leg giving you some trouble?¡± ¡°No, doctor, we are actually here for Ana. She has not been feeling so well for the past couple of days.¡± ¡°Well, Ana, what seems to be the problem?¡± ¡°Doctor¡­ it¡­ well.¡± ¡°Would you like to discuss this in private?¡± ¡°If we can just do the examination and tell Ethan the oue?¡± ¡°Sure, of course. If you would excuse us, Ethan, we will just go into the next room.¡± ¡°Not a problem, doctor. Boo, just let me know if I can help.¡± ¡°We won¡¯t be long soldier.¡± Ana and Dr. Robertson go into the next room. Much to my disappointment, I am not able to hear a single word that is spoken. The waiting kills me. Just to think that there is something wrong and I can do nothing about it. What seems like forever is actually only a few minutes as the doctor enters the room. ¡°Ethan, please, can you join us inside?¡± ¡°Of course, Doctor, what is the matter?¡± ¡°Son, we will exin to you now if you can please follow me.¡± I follow Dr. Robertson into the next room, where Ana is sitting on the bed. I can see that she has been crying; her mascara is all smudged upon her now wet cheeks. I step a little closer and take my ce, standing next to her. ¡°Boo, what is wrong?¡± Dr. Robertson turns to Ana and oddly smiles at her, ¡°Ana, would you like me to tell him.¡± ¡°No, Doctor, I will.¡± ¡°Boo, what is going on? You are making me scared.¡± ¡°Well, soldier, the thing is¡­¡± ¡°The thing is what, boo?¡± ¡°I am pregnant.¡± ¡°You¡­¡± The room goes dark, and I drop to the floor. Chapter 61 Prepared For The Unknown I could have sworn I just fainted; a big ass man like me has dropped like a little bundle to the floor. Did I just hear right? Did I just hear that Ana is pregnant? I think if I open my eyes, I will soon find out. But I am scared. Am I ready to be a father? Am I even the father type kind of man? I am so not prepared for this; then again, I am a soldier, I need to be ready for the most unexpected things. I feel as Ana tugs at my shoulder, ¡°Soldier, soldier, are you okay?¡± Then Dr. Roberston joins her, trying to get me out of my stupid spell of darkness. ¡°Ethan, can you hear me?¡± As I slowly open my eyes and wait for it to adjust to the light, I see Anas staring worriedly at me. ¡°Soldier don¡¯t give a woman a heart attack so early in the morning!¡± She starts shaking me furiously. I can hear the urgency in her voice as she calls out my name. ¡°Soldier! Soldier!¡± ¡°Aahhh boo, I am awake; slow down on the shaking.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you ever do that again!¡± ¡°Hahaha, don¡¯t give me such a big fright then.¡± ¡°Urgh, you are impossible. This is not funny. Did you hear what I said?¡± I look at her with a wicked smile on my face. She is acting too serious to pick up that I am up to no good, ¡°No, sorry boo, I did not hear what you said.¡± ¡°Then why did you faint?¡± ¡°Because you dragged me out of home before I could have breakfast.¡± She folds her arms in a huf in front of her chest and cocks her head with a somewhat serious look on her face. ¡°I did not drag you out of home; you the one that pulled me to the doctor. Now, did you hear what I said?¡± ¡°No, boo, you will have to repeat it again.¡± ¡°Soldier, I know you are messing with me. I said¡­¡± ¡°That you are pregnant.¡± ¡°So you did hear me?¡± She balls her hand in a tiny fist and punches me as hard as she can. ¡°Ouch, you can¡¯t do that; you are hurting the baby.¡± ¡°Oh my god, I am going to have a problem with you.¡± ¡°Okay, but seriously now. You are pregnant, for real pregnant?¡± ¡°Oh, soldier, I love how sweet you are. Yes, for real now, we are going to have a baby.¡± I stay quiet for a while; a million questions race through my mind. I am going to be a father; I need to repeat that cause I still don¡¯t think I heard it the second time around. At least I did not faint this time. I am really going to be a father. ¡°Soldier, say something.¡± I do not answer her yet. What am I going to do? Can I do this? All my life, I have been dreaming about being a Marine; never once did I think about bing a father. But then again, I never nned toe back home and fall in love either. ¡°Soldier, anything, say anything.¡± ¡°I think I can do this; in fact, I know I can do this. I want to do this; I want to be a father, and whom better to have a baby with than the woman that I love more than life itself.¡± ¡°Soldier!¡± ¡°Yes, boo?¡± ¡°Are you going to say something?¡± ¡°If you want to know if I am happy,¡± I reach out toce my fingers in her hands and pull her closer. ¡°I think I will give you guys a minute,¡± Dr. Robertson turns to excuse himself. ¡°No, it is fine, doctor. Tell us what to do. What happens next?¡± ¡°Son, now you guys have a baby. This is not a mission; nothing will go as nned. As long as you keep this girl happy and healthy, then your baby is going to be just fine.¡± ¡°But Dr. Robertson,¡± Ana starts. She does not even have to finish her sentence; I know exactly what she is thinking of. I see concern and worry is riddled in her eyes; I know that it is something that the doctor can not promise, but reassurance is something she sure does need. The doctor is quick to stop her, to ease any doubts that she might have. ¡°Ana, this is a new beginning, a new miracle in your life. Please do not let the past make you worry about now. Focus on what you have now and work towards your future. We take it every day as ites. You are going to be fine.¡± I wrap my big strong arms prospectively around her shoulders. Her face softly presses against my chest. She looks up at me for just one second underneath theshes of her deep brown eyes. ¡°Soldier, why is your heart beating so fast?¡± ¡°Because I am happy, boo, I am happy and excited.¡± ¡°Are you really?¡± ¡°As much as I love you to infinity, that is how happy I am.¡± She rests her head on my chest again, and I squeeze her a fraction harder this time. If she needs me to do this, I will wrap my arms around her every time the universe feels like it is crashing in. We stay like that for a moment, letting the depth of the news sink in. In little than nine months, we are going to have a baby. I am finally going to have to grow up now. The boy iss a Marine that was broken is now a man. After making our next appointments, we head on over to the coffee shop to catch a breath before we make it back home. And much to my very annoyance, dear old Maggie is there like she has been waiting for me. ¡°Hey, Ethan, my boy. Are you not supposed to be in the army?¡± ¡°Maggie, it is the Marines. The Marines, not the army!¡± She ignores mepletely and carries on with what has caught her attention, ¡°Is something wrong? I saw you at the doctor?¡± ¡°Nothing ever escapes your eyes. I swear you probably know when I go to the bathroom too.¡± ¡°What did you say about the bathroom? Yes, I know the ones here are very dirty. I have told Alice before.¡± ¡°Maggie, I think you have a ball of fur stuck in your ear.¡± I feel Ana kick me under the table for being so nasty to Maggie. ¡°Oh, so you say there is something wrong with your ear. ¡± ¡°Urgh, Maggie, Remind me to keep my ba¡­¡± Ana kicks me again. ¡°We just dedidec toe back home visit. We missed everyone and wanted toe to say hello.¡± ¡°Aaahhh, my boy, that is so nice; you two canaries are so sweet.¡± ¡°Canaries, seriously Maggie?¡± ¡°Man, you know those birds for love.¡± ¡°Love birds Maggie, lovebirds.¡± ¡°Yes, those, you two are like them. I think you must get married.¡± The contents of my cup go flying over the table as I choke on my coffee. Ana chuckles and just smiles at me. Maggie, of course, has no idea what just happened. ¡°Well, I must get back to the flower shop. You must let me know what flowers you want; maybe I can do the flowers for your wedding.¡± ¡°Let us not get ahead of ourselves here. Trust me, Maggie, you will be the first one to know if we do.¡± After Maggie leaves, we sit inplete silence for a while. Maggie has scratched a surface that is something that would have had toe up soon. I don¡¯t know how to approach this, for I have only now found out that I am going to be a father, now I should consider bing a husband too?All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. Everything is happening so soon. In the Marines, they teach you to be prepared for anything but never do the prepare you for this. To think we were going to deploy, and she was pregnant. She would be at the base while I would be off on a mission. How could I have not seen this? ¡°Boo, can I ask you something?¡± ¡°Yes, soldier.¡± ¡°How long have you known?¡± I shyly stares down at her hands that are holding her cup tightly. She slowly take a sip of her coffee before she answers me, ¡°I have had a feeling now for a week.¡± ¡°But how could you have let me deploy? How could you have deployed?¡± ¡°Because it is your dream soldier.¡± ¡°But who says having a family is not a dream too?¡± ¡°In all this time I have been with you, you have never mentioned it once.¡± ¡°Yes, you are right boo, I never had this nned, but since I met you, so many of my ns changed.¡± ¡°Do you regret it?¡± ¡°Not at all, please don¡¯t ever think that I do.¡± She stops me before I speak again. There is something clearly on her mind; I know she thinks I am not taking this seriously; how do I prove to her that I am? Chapter 62 Home Is Where My Home Is When I stepped off the bus this morning, I never knew and could hardly ever have imagined that I would find out that Ana is pregnant. Now I can¡¯t say it is aplete surprise, for, well, I kind of could not keep it in my pants. This was bound to happen sooner orter, and I can honestly say that I am grateful that it did not happen at camp. Well, it sort of did, but at least she is not pregnant and deploying. The mere thought that I, half a broken man, am bing a father brings another aplishment to mind. I am still a boy, learning to be a man, but now I am going to be a man that needs to learn how to be a father. This is terrifying; I can take a mission head-on but put a little life in my arm. I am about to learn a whole new meaning to life. Now there is only one life that has be important to me, apart from Ana¡¯s, that is. I might not be holding my child in my hands, but I know exactly what Ray means. Yes, Ana cannot deploy anymore, and if you asked me, she would not have, even if she was not pregnant. But I will still be deploying, and now more, I am leaning towards taking Ray¡¯s offer. But the thing is, where does she raise the child? Alone at Pendleton or here where my mom can help her? ¡°Soldier, I want to raise the child at Camp Pendleton.¡± ¡°Alone, boo? Here you will at least have my mom.¡± ¡°Please hear me out. Just think about it. Please, soldier, do it for me. Just think about it. Think about us and our baby¡¯s future. Do you really want to be stuck raising a child in this little town?¡± What does this smalltown offer? Besides the weekly drama Maggie provides, not a hell of a lot, really. What future does my child have here? Maybe he can be the mechanic in old Jo¡¯s car repair shop. I kind of get Ana¡¯s drift; there is no future for a child here. ¡°Please just think about it, soldier. You don¡¯t have to answer me now. But what I want now is to go home and rest, I am feeling tired.¡± ¡°Sure, boo, it has been quite an exhausting day.¡± After I finish off my coffee, we head out and make the way back home. As we walk down the street past all the familiar houses, I can¡¯t help but think; this is the only home I have ever known. Apart from when I left for the Marines, I never once thought that I would ever leave itpletely behind. Now I am faced with that decision, and I don¡¯t know what to do. The answer should be easy, but why do I feel that it isn¡¯t. I also need to ask myself if I want to leave my family behind. I am sure we will be able to visit, but those will be very few and far between. I would love for my child to know his grandparents and, of cause his uncle too. This is such a hard decision. But it should not really be for the only two that should truly matter is Ana and the baby. The thing is, does she really want this. I think she does for know Ana as a woman that knows exactly what she wants, well, perhaps sometimes. ¡°Ana.¡± I stop her before we head through the gate to the front door. I turn, and I look at her; for the first time, I really look at her. Her big deep brown eyes take your breath away as she looks through your soul. Her plump, velvety lips melt like chocte on a hot day. Her hands are strong but at the same time gentle. Her long dark hair is falling like a waterfall down her back. Her delicate body. Herck of makeup. In her, I see true beauty. ¡°Why, Ana now?¡± ¡°Because I want you to know that I am serious.¡± ¡°What is wrong, Ethan?¡±Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°I love you. You gave me something I never thought I could ever have. Love. And now I want to give you what you need. A family. And if it means our family goes to Pendleton and we both can fulfill our dreams, then that is where I will take you.¡± She does not say a word, but it is the tears forming in those big eyes that says it all. She is happy. She pulls me closer. In her embrace, the world stops still on its axis. There is no time, no wind, no rain. How could it be that I have not seen this all before? This is the love I have waited for, prayed for. A love like this is to be cherished for life. It does not matter where we are with her; that is where my home is. ¡°So we are staying at Pendleton?¡± ¡°Yes, boo, I don¡¯t want you guys anywhere else but near me.¡± ¡°Thank you, soldier!¡± ¡°Anything for you, boo. Now let¡¯s go tell everyone the good news.¡± She turns to me with nothing but that beautiful smile on her rose-colored cheeks, ¡°Somehow, I think they already know,¡± She points at my mom and dad that is peaking out from behind the curtain, and Matt and Katarina from behind the door. ¡°You guys are not very discreet about it.¡±I burstughing at their boldness. Matt is the first one to stand out from his poor attempt at a hiding ce, ¡°Hey bro; I only wanted to see if your dumb brain has caught up to your head.¡± I lift a hand and smack Matty behind his head, ¡°Aaahhh, what was that for?¡± ¡°For not telling me earlier.¡± ¡°Where is the fun in that? And it is not my fault you are as thick as a bullet.¡± I cock my head and raise my brow at him, ¡°Should it not be a doornail?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think you even know what a doornail looks like, soldier boy.¡± My mom that cannot keep herself in check for a minute longer,es running towards Ana and me and squeeze us in her arms, ¡°Congrattions, you two. Now when is the day?¡± Ana looks at me, somewhat nervous, ¡°Uhm¡­ we kind of don¡¯t know that yet.¡± But mom only heightens the pressure, ¡°You must have it in summer. The gardens at church are always beautiful in summer.¡± ¡°Church?¡± I nervouslyugh, ¡°Gardens?¡± Ana hysterically chokes. After finally being able to breathe again for a brief second, I look at my mom, ¡°What does that have to do with when the baby is born?¡± ¡°I am talking about your wedding, silly.¡± ¡°Maggie.¡± I only sigh and only shake my head. ¡°Maggie,¡± Ana adds. ¡°Yes, Maggie, my mom says. ¡°She said she is doing your flowers.¡± ¡°Mom, that bat is crazy. We are not getting married. Well, at least not just yet.¡± I smile and wink at Ana; her cheeks flush all red. To think that gorgeous smile that is attached to that woman is all mine. Matt that is watching this awkward exchange. Just before he topples over fromughter, he feels the need to make his ownment of observation, ¡°I was just going to say that is the weirdest way for a proposal. I d you caught quicker onto that one than the morning sickness.¡± ¡°I am a man, a clueless one, if I may add. What the hell do I know about morning sickness?¡± Mom that does not miss one part of the conversation, turns to hold Ana¡¯s hands again, ¡°Well, when are you seeing the doctor next?¡± She asks, dly changing the subject at hand. ¡°We¡­ Uhm¡­ I don¡¯t¡­¡± I hear as Ana tries to find the words. They might have listened to our conversation, but they have no idea what we are really talking about. Well, I know what the expectation is, for it was mine until be decided otherwise. To say my mom is going to be devasted would be an understatement. She is not going to see Ana for most of her pregnancy and then for big chunks of our baby¡¯s life. If this is going to be hard, then it is going to be the hardest for her. But I need to remind myself this is for my child and for nobody else. I love my family dearly, but it is time I leave thefort of my parent¡¯s home and start a family of my own. And if Ana wants to do this alone at Pendleton, that is what we decided she would do. But it still does not make this any easier to break the news. I have no idea how my mom is going to react. Ana looks at me; I know she is not telling, so it is left up to me. I feel like a schoolboy that has just knocked up his girlfriend, that is about to do the dreadful ¡®What do you intend to do?¡± speech to my family, well fuck! I don¡¯t have all the answers, except, ¡°There is something we need to tell you guys.¡± ¡°How many more surprises can you have in one day?¡± That is the first thing my very curious father says. Chapter 63 Following Your Footsteps We have not even been back home for a day and things are already running a riot. Ana is pregnant, and I am going to be a father. That is wonderful news for all around, but we had to make the decision as to where Ana is going to stay. I am deploying in a little less than a week again, and I need to know that wherever she is going to be, she will be safe. So we have decided that she shall stay in Pendleton and we will raise our child there. We are making the decision on what is best for the baby. Yes, I know that my family, most of all my mom, is going to be disappointed. ¡°I think everyone needs to go sit down for this one,¡± I yfullyugh to ease the seriousness of the situation. ¡°Son, she is already pregnant; what else have you done?¡± My father asks, ¡°With him, anything is possible.¡± Matt adds. ¡°Matty, you better run.¡± ¡°What are you going to do, soldier boy?¡± I catch up to Matty that is walking ahead of my mom, and give him one p against the head, ¡°Aaahhh, what the fuck?¡± ¡°That is for being a wiseass.¡± ¡°I will try to remember that when dad smacks you after the next bomb, you are about to drop.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think you want to sit close to me then.¡± ¡°It is a game-changer.¡± But just then, my phone rings. It is Ray; he is probably checking up on how the bus trip went. ¡°If you guys can excuse me, I need to take this.¡± Anaes walking up to me, ¡°Is everything okay, soldier?¡± ¡°Yes, boo, it is Ray. Let me quickly tell him what is going on. Go inside so long; I will be there just now.¡± I move off to the side to a quiet spot in the garden while everyone else goes inside. Once I am sure no one is nearby, I press to answer, ¡°Hey Ray.¡± ¡°Hey, Ethan. How was the trip?¡± ¡°About that.¡± ¡°Shit, don¡¯t tell me that you are not deploying anymore?¡± ¡°Of course I am; there is just one slight problem.¡± ¡°What is the matter? Is it something I can help with?¡± ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t think you can help with this one, Ray. You see, Ana is pregnant.¡± ¡°Well done, soldier! d to see you not shooting nks there. But you know she can¡¯t deploy?¡± ¡°Yes, and we are fine with that. She feels that she rather wants to raise the baby at Pendleton than in this little town.¡± ¡°That is wonderful, Ethan. You have a couple of days to spare, so don¡¯t rush to get back here.¡± ¡°Perfect, see you, Ray.¡± I drop the call and take a few moments to gather myself. Now to break this to my family, it was easy to tell Ray, but my mother, well, that ain¡¯t going to be easy at all. As I make my way into the house, they are all eagerly waiting for me. I have five pairs of eyes digging holes in my head full of curiosity about what I am about to say. Something gives me the idea that my mom is going to require some tissues, which I see Ana already has a few stacked on her knees. I take my seat next to Ana, which is so conveniently between my mom and dad. Why could she not have gone and sat close to Matt? I have no idea on how to start this conversation. It takes a while before anyone speaks, but it seems my mom is the first to go, ¡°So what is going on, Ethan? I mean, this has already been such an exciting morning. Are you guys talking about getting married?¡± ¡°Whoa, mom, now you sound like Maggie. For all, I know Maggie is already knitting booties.¡± ¡°It would not surprise me either, son,¡± my father says as he calmly sits back in his chair. ¡°Robertson has never been known to keep a secret for too long.¡± ¡°Nobody in this town knows how to keep secrets; in fact, nobody in this town knows how to mind their own business.¡± ¡°Did something happen, Ethan?¡± My mom asks while shifting in her chair for what seems the tenth time now. ¡°Did someone do something wrong?¡± ¡°No, mom, I am just saying in general. That, and the fact that there is no real future here, is why I originally left this town.¡± ¡°That is a true son,¡± my father shockingly agrees to my words. ¡°There is no real future for you if you got big ns. For someone like your brother, that is fine for him.¡± ¡°Geez, thanks, dad,¡± Matt spins in his chair at my dad¡¯sment. ¡°Well,¡± he adds, ¡°I still ain¡¯t bing a doctor.¡± ¡°Well, maybe my grandson will be one then.¡± ¡°The boy will be whatever he wants too,¡± is my words to both of them, but well, I truly do not exactly mean it that way for, ¡°I am hoping it will be a Marine.¡± Ana gives me a dead evil stare, ¡°I am d how you all think it is a boy.¡± ¡°We are just hoping, boo, but there is nothing with a girl bing a Marine too.¡± ¡°Ugh, I see you are going to be a problem. Just don¡¯t dress my child in a Marine uniform.¡± ¡°Hahaha. Now that is an idea. Some cute little blues for him.¡± ¡°Soldier just stick to your story.¡± ¡°Fine, boo.¡± I turn my attention back to my mom. ¡°What I was trying to say is that there is no real future and even a proper education for a child in this town.¡± ¡°So what does that mean?¡± My mom asks, but I think she has by now have got some idea. ¡°Mom,¡± I slowly rise from my seat to go to my mom. I take her hands between mine and gently squeeze them. Deep down behind her blue eyes, I can see the pain building. I think she knows what I am about to say, and I even wonder if I should say it. For if I do, then it is real, and that means the hurt bes real too. ¡°Mom, dad. Ana and I have decided to raise the baby at Camp Pendleton.¡± The room falls dead quiet; I do not even think anyone is breathing a single breath. All I can hear is my heart pounding in my ribcage. I am waiting for someone to shout or even a single cry from my mom. But nothing. And it remains nothing for a while until my father finally speaks ¡°I think that is excellent news.¡± ¡°You do?¡± I fling my head into my father¡¯s direction so fast that it nearly snaps of my neck. ¡°Yes. We can continue to build generation after generation of Marines.¡± ¡°Sorry for the disrespect, but you must be shitting me.¡± My mom turns to my father in disbelief, ¡°But I thought you preferred Ethan to be home?¡± ¡°I was polite, Mary.¡± Matt¡¯sughteres rumbling deep from his belly as he turns to my father, ¡°Polite? Damn, and I believed you! You are learning well, old man.¡± ¡°I am not polite enough to smack you,¡± he says as he starts edging closer.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. My mom¡¯s hands are now trembling; I feel them shake as I try to hold onto her before she breaks. I can see the tears pool from deep within her eyes. They are near threatening to burst and rush like waterfalls down her cheeks. Her voicees as nothing but a fumble as she tries to speak from underneath the pain that is ripping her apart. ¡°But now for real? Are you guys leaving? When will I see the baby?¡± ¡°Mom, you cane as often as you can. I just don¡¯t want Ana making the trip if I am not with her.¡± ¡°I am so sorry, Mary,¡± Ana move closer tofort my mom by softly resting her hand on her arm, ¡°But I am only thinking of what is best for the baby.¡± Then it happens what Ana and I feared the most, my mom¡¯s cries start echoing the room. At first, those are soft sobs, but then they be nothing but crying howls. Every single agonizing sound breaks my heart. I saw my mom cry like this the day I first left, and she now cries like that once again. ¡°Mom, I am so sorry.¡± She jumps off her seat and storms out of the room. Only a few momentster, we hear the door m shut in her room. We are all rather shocked even though it was what be expected to happen all along. We can, from this distance, hear things being mmed shut and thrown, and we all know that at this time, it is best to leave my mother alone. Then my father, who very much is finding my mom¡¯s tantrum amusing, looks at me and takes a few seconds when his face finally lights up again, ¡°Son, I have an idea.¡± Chapter 64 One Angry Lady I have just shattered my mom¡¯s heart, and I fear this time it is beyond repair. It is not that we nned for this on purpose; it is just what is best for our son. Yes, I am being rather ambitious, but I do believe that this is a boy. Yesterday my biggest worry was what would happen if we get back to base camp. Today my only worry is for the future of my child. I just hope that everyone shall see it that way. Now my dad hase up with an idea, and to say that I am not curious would be a lie. But we all know that my father and his ns never end up well. That is why I am even too scared to ask, and to make things worse; he is going to have to run it past my mom. And right now, she is not doing well at the receiving end of any news. So I am waiting patiently for my dad to tell me what this idea is that he has, ¡°So what is the n?¡± ¡°Well, I don¡¯t know how well your mom is going to take this.¡± ¡°If it is going to break her heart, then I am guessing not well at all.¡± ¡°I think we need to get her here to listen to it.¡± ¡°Well, I am not the one that is going to try and get her out of the room.¡± ¡°And believe me, I do not want to be that one also.¡± ¡°Guess it just leaves you old Matty then.¡± We both turn to Matt, know full well what a difficult task this will be; my mom is stubborn, and there is no way that she is just walking happily out of her room. ¡°Why can¡¯t Ana do it?¡± Matty looks at me desperately as he asks. ¡°Because it is not her mother, you chomp.¡± ¡°It is going to be real soon; she might as well start to practice.¡± We all turn to face Ana that has been sitting quietly eating her pjacks. She has heard not a word that we said. All she does is stare at us, happily chewing away. And, of course, I am the one that has to tell her, which makes me the one that gets pped. ¡°Boo, can you please do me a favor?¡± ¡°Sure, soldier, what do you want?¡± ¡°Please, can you go get my mom toe out of the room?¡± ¡°What is wrong with you? Why can¡¯t you do it?¡± ¡°I am too scared.¡± ¡°And these two grown-ass men?¡± I look over to where Matt and my dad is standing. I cannot help but chuckle as they look like two little schoolboys that are begging not to go to the principal office. And believe me, this principle is one you want to stay away from when she is mad. ¡°Boo, they are scared too.¡± ¡°It serves you all well; you should be scared of a woman. Why do you not just wait until she is ready toe out?¡± ¡°That might take a whole day, two if she is really mad, and I believe this is a mad that is going to take more than two days.¡± ¡°Ugh, you men are absolutely useless.¡± She quietly carries on to eat her pjacks while we all patiently wait for her to finish. After dragging it out on purpose, she finally makes her way to my mom¡¯s room. ¡­Ana POV¡­ I cannot believe these three are sitting and hiding in a corner waiting for a woman to do their job. It is not even my mother; what on earth do I even say to her. I am not one that sits well with conflict, and now I am the one sent in to raise the white g. Ethan is so dead when I get a hold of himter for making me do this. I walk up to the bedroom and stand at the door. I am fully expecting to hear Mary crying at the top of her lungs, but instead, I hear the television ring. She is either sitting there with a tub of ice cream and pissing her eyes out, or she is happily sitting and watching her favorite show. I take a deep breath, and with a rather trembling hand, I knock on the door. ¡°Go away, Ethan. I don¡¯t want to speak to you.¡± Her voice does sound strained as I hear ite through the door. It is hard to say if she is crying or if she is even mad. I am still not going to take a chance and make it worse. I wait for a few seconds before I finally speak to her. ¡°Mary, it is me.¡± Much to my surprise, she bursts outughing. ¡°I can¡¯t believe they had the nerve to send you here. Go tell them to do their own dirty work.¡± ¡°My god, it looks like I am going to walk up and down ying messenger the whole day.¡± ¡°Well, they should not have sent you in the first ce. Tell Ethan toe to fix his own mess.¡± ¡°I will do that, but I am sure I am going to be back here in a minute.¡± Reluctantly I turn around and make my way back to the kitchen, where I find the three of them happily having a cup of coffee.Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Soldier, your mother says you must go fight your own battles.¡± ¡°But boo, you are a woman; you should know how she feels.¡± ¡°Yes, the same way that I am going to p you if you make me walk up there again.¡± ¡°But Ana, you are so much better at listening.¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I hear Matt agrees, ¡°You women understand each other.¡± ¡°If we understand each other, why did she send me back to you three little cowards.¡± ¡°But boo, please just tell her toe out.¡± ¡°Soldier, you are going to pay for this. I don¡¯t know how yet, but you will see.¡± Very annoyed, I make my way back to her room, ¡°Guess what, Mary, I am back. Now please, can youe to the kitchen.¡± ¡°No. Go call Ethan.¡± ¡°I just did! He does not want toe.¡± ¡°Well, I am sure you can get Ethan to do anything?¡± ¡°Ugh! I am sure I will be back.¡± I turn on my heels and make my way to the kitchen again. This is ridiculous; not even Katarina acts like this. And to make it even damn worse, the three of them are smiling. ¡°Ethan, your mother, is calling you.¡± ¡°But boo¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t but boo me, go to your mother.¡± ¡°She is just going to fight with me and get all upset again. Can¡¯t you just ask her toe out?¡± ¡°I did. I am not going back there; your mom is difficult. I can now see where you get it from.¡± ¡°Please, just onest time?¡± ¡°This is thest time; after that, the three of you can y ping pong.¡± I take my sweet time to walk back to Mary, for I know I am just going to waste my breath. ¡°Mary, he does not want toe. Please, will you juste out of the room?¡± ¡°No. Please call John.¡± ¡°And what if he does not want toe?¡± ¡°Then call Matt.¡± ¡°We both know Matt won¡¯te.¡± ¡°Well then, I am just staying here.¡± ¡°I will be right back.¡± Now I am getting furious, I am damn tired, and now I have to walk up and down. Ethan is now going to get it from me. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ As I see Anae walking around the corner, I can see that she is really mad. And I can also see that my mom is not with her, which means now that I am going to get it from her. ¡°Boo, what is wrong now?¡± She ignores mepletely and turns to my father, ¡°She wants you, John.¡± ¡°No, I am not going near there.¡± ¡°Yes, that is what I thought, which leaves you Matt, and there is no way you are going to go.¡± ¡°Then what now?¡± I ask her, looking somewhat defeated. ¡°You and your brother and your father are lifting your asses off those chairs anding with me.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to hear it. Get up!¡± By the look in her eyes, we know not to protest. We all get from our seats and fall in behind. In one single row, we nervously make our way to my mom¡¯s room. Then totally unexpected, she swings open the door. ¡°Here they are! Your boys, or should I say, babies.¡± The moment I see my mom¡¯s tears, my heart immediately breaks, ¡°Mom, I am sorry.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to hear it, Ethan.¡± ¡°Then at least hear me out then,¡± my father steps forward and tries to reach out for my mom¡¯s hand. ¡°John, how can anything you got to say possibly make this better?¡± ¡°At least just hear me out.¡± ¡°Fine, you have five minutes, then I want all of you out.¡± ¡°Mary, you have been saying for many years that you want to get out of this town. What do you say we sell up and move over there?¡± Chapter 65 The Value Of Family A deafening silence has settled over the room as each one of us is ying it all over and over in our heads. I could have just sworn my father suggested that they sell up and follow me on over to Pendleton. Now he is eitherpletely drunk or gone insane, for my father in all my living years has refused to step his feet out of this town, let alone leave it. If my mother was mad at my dad before this, then I have no idea from just looking at the expression on her face what she is now. I do not know if she is crying from anger or if she is, in fact,ughing in my dad¡¯s face. Her words are mumbled anding as strangled stutters as they leave her lips. What seems like almost ten minutes have passed, she finally manages topose herself. ¡°John, this is not funny. The kids are having a baby, and they are leaving. Do not mess around like this.¡± ¡°Mary, I am serious; I am getting tired of Maggie and all these people that cannot stay out of your face.¡± ¡°It has never bugged you before?¡± ¡°Well, it is now, so if you are eager to do it, I say that we should move.¡± ¡°And what about Matt?.¡± ¡°He can do whatever he wants; I am tired of babysitting a grown man.¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I interrupt their somewhat very serious conversation, ¡°It is because he is going to babysit a real baby this time.¡± ¡°Soldier, this is not funny,¡± Isbe says as she looks at me with a frustrated look on her face. She is not finding this half as amusing as I do. But do I even dare say another word? ¡°But boo¡­¡± From out of nowhere, the t of her handes crashing against my cheek, leaving a soft sting as she pulls away. ¡°What the fuck was that for?¡± ¡°I told you I was going to p you if you say but again.¡± ¡°Oh my god, you are going to be an absolute monster.¡± ¡°You better take that back, or I am going to p you again.¡± My dad only looks at us and shakes his head, ¡°If that does not convince you to move, then I have no idea what will.¡± Then finally, between all the tears, there is a glimmer of hope that lights up my mom¡¯s eyes again, ¡°I agree, there needs to be a grown-up between all these children.¡± ¡°See,¡± my dad says, ¡°I told you that you woulde around.¡± ¡°I am referring to you too.¡± ¡°But Mary¡­¡± ¡°Ah,¡± Ana says as a thoughtes to mind, ¡°Now I can see where you get it from.¡± We all just stare at my dad and burst outughing; when it started off as a whirlwind of a day, has finally calmed down in excitedughter. This day could have gone a million ways, but I never once thought that it would end up like this. To say that I am not beyond happy will just be a tant lie. Thest time I felt like this was the day I left to go to the Corps. This time I am not only going, but I am taking this beautiful woman and our baby with me. But there is one big nagging question, and I might as well be the one that asks this. ¡°So Matty, are youing with?¡± The room goes dead silent once again; the only sound that can be heard is my mom frantically fidgeting with the ring on her finger. We all are standing and waiting as the air gets thick with anticipation. After what could almost me nearly five minutes, Matt slowly takes one deep breath as he faces me. ¡°Bro, I am not sure what I want to do.¡± ¡°It is fine, Matty, just take your time; I know that it is a big decision to make out on a limb.¡± With that, I reach my hand out to Ana andce my fingers into hers. ¡°Now, if you will excuse us, we have had a rather eventful day. I better get this one home before she gets any more grumpier than she is.¡± ¡°Yeah, bro, if that is your excuse. Why don¡¯t you just say you two are going home to fool around?¡± Then totally unexpected, Ana steps closer to Matty and ps him again the back of his head. ¡°What the fuck is that for?¡± ¡°You are just an idiot like your brother, if not even worse.¡± I only but chuckle at her as I step a few steps away, ¡°Yeah, this one is definitely going to be a problem.¡± ¡°Soldier, if you know what is good for you, then you shall refrain from saying another word.¡± ¡°Boo, are you perhaps a little grumpy?¡± ¡°You are being impossible again. Juste so we can go home.¡± With that, we make our leave from the room and head out the kitchen onto the pathway home. ¡°Boo, can you remember when we met each other at that very same rock?¡± ¡°Yes, soldier, and you were just as impossible then.¡± ¡°Do you regret any of it?¡± ¡°If I had any regrets, then I will not be here walking with you and what will be soon, our baby girl.¡± ¡°Oh no, let me stop your there; it is going to be a boy.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t think for one second I am dressing my child up as a mini-you.¡± ¡°Can I tell you something?¡± I stop her to stand still for one moment and turn so I can see her beautiful face. I swear the brown of her eyes is much brighter than it normally is. Her soft, wless skin is glowing in the rays of sunlight that gently fall on her face. She is absolutely exquisite, and there is no other woman I can see myself spending the rest of my life with. ¡°Boo, I want you to know how much I love you.¡± ¡°Soldier, as cheesy as this might sound, I think you can not nearly love me as much as I love you.¡± ¡°Well, can I ask you this?¡± ¡°That cheeky smile on your face tells me you are up to no good.¡± ¡°I was just wondering if we can send Katarina over to Matt.¡± ¡°Why on earth do you want to do that?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want her to hear the screaming.¡± I watch as she frowns at me, not fully grasping what I am saying, ¡°What screaming¡­ get your head out the gutter Ethan Hunter.¡± I only but chuckle at her, ¡°That did take you a while to catch up.¡± ¡°You are going to get pped again.¡± ¡°Rather kiss me instead; it uses less muscles, and just now, you break a nail against this strong chiseled face.¡± I hear theughter rolling like thunder from deep in her belly and escape her supple lips. Without even questioning my next move, I slowly push her back into the hard bark of the tree behind her. ¡°Soldier what¡­¡± ¡°Ssshhh boo, just close your eyes and trust me.¡± I step one step closer and pin her between my arms, she sys her hand against my chest, intending to push me away, but instead, she leaves it there. I lean in a little closer, our foreheads now gently touching. I cannot fight against the thoughts that are going through my mind. She is flooding my senses in every possible way. We have done this so many times, but for some reason, it feels like the very first time. I start moving my lips breath by breath closer to hers. The moment our lips touch, the world vanishes in an instant. Her lips are even softer than I can remember, and she tastes even sweeter than heaven. My lips are firm against hers, but the kiss remains soft, gentle, and slow. We hold it for a few seconds before our lips begin to move in perfect sync. My eyes fall closed, and all I can feel is her. I slowly force myself to pull away; it takes me about a minute to settle my raging heart before I can finally speak to her. With my hand gently resting on her cheek, I once again get lost in her deep brown eyes. ¡°I love you, boo.¡± I see the tiniest of tears start rolling down her cheek, ¡°I love you, soldier.¡± We find ourselves back onto the path that leads home. We are much surprised to see Marty and Katarina engulfed in their very own moment. I slowly sneak up to him and pat him on the shoulder. ¡°Who is fooling around now, Matty?¡± ¡°You know me, bro, can¡¯t afford to waste a minute.¡±Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. Ana and Katarina disappear into the house, leaving Matty and me alone. ¡°So you are going to be a dad,¡± Matty says. ¡°A little terrifying but every part of me looks forward to it.¡± ¡°Well, at least mom and dad will be there when you are not around.¡± ¡°Yeah, I did not see that oneing.¡± But there is a burning question on my lips, and I know I told him to take his time, but I need to know now before I get onto that bus in the morning. ¡°So have you decided if you are going toe with?¡± Chapter 66 A Boy Becomes A Man They say that sometimes you do not realize the value of a moment until it bes a memory. The day I look back at this moment, I will remember the day that my family made a sacrifice and followed me so that I can follow my dreams. To say that I am not humbled would be a lie. I have never experienced so much joy in my life as what I have experienced on this single day. The best memory by far shall be when this boy became a real man. So it seems like the Hunters are moving to California. Well, not all of them are definitely sure. Matt seems to have some doubts about making this move with the rest of us. What I do find hard to understand is what is keeping him here. The future here in this town holds nothing for him. Seeing the confusion on his face as he struggles through this decision does pain me a bit. In a way, I do feel that I am a slight bit selfish. I am asking a man to pack up a life he feelsfortable with. I will not push him even further; this is a decision he should make without feeling the pressure from me. ¡°Hey man, don¡¯t sweat it. I know that you need some time to think.¡± ¡°That is not the problem, bro. The things I am scared.¡± ¡°Scared of what?¡± ¡°It is easy to make it in this town; there are not a lot of people that I need to impress. Out there, it is a different ball game.¡± ¡°Matty, the only one you need to impress is yourself.¡± ¡°Did you just hear what you said? There is one person I need to impress; then it is dad.¡± ¡°You should really not listen to everything he says. Sometimes I wonder if he pushes us so hard is to make up for his failures.¡± Matt goes quiet for a few seconds as he thinks about what I have just said. In a way, it is true; my father has had many failed businesses. He always sets out with this brilliant idea, only for them to fail. I know that my mom¡¯s patience has worn thin with him; in return, he has been pushing us beyond what is reasonable. That is why I was so shocked that he even suggested this move. In a way, he will not approve if Matt decides to stay here. Even though this is my father¡¯s decision, and should this not work for him and my mom, I will still be the one that will be med here. But I am beyond the point of really caring about whether he approves of the things that I do. In nine months, I shall be a father; my focus is on Ana and our baby. But I am also concerned about Matt and what happens to him. He has never been out in the big world if I can call it that. I know he has it in him to seed; he just does not believe in himself. ¡°Hey Matty, I am here for you, no matter what you decide.¡± ¡°Bro, I think I am going to stay here. Please don¡¯t take it wrong. I understand that you need to do it for yourself, but for me, I amfortable here.¡± ¡°I understand, Matty.¡± With that said and done, I pull him into a brotherly hug. I know this is hard for him. What is going to be even harder is tomorrow when we are leaving. I am sure the tears that are burning now will definitely flow tomorrow. ¡­Ana POV¡­ While Ethan is outside having their heart to heart, I am sitting with Katarina in the kitchen. Now she has been burning to ask me a question for the past five minutes. While I am making us a pot of coffee, she is trying to build the courage to say what she wants to say. Now I do not know her as someone that feels nervous, so her hesitation right now is somewhat unnerving. ¡°Get out with it! You are making me worried.¡± ¡°The thing is, things between Matt and me are really going well, you know at the moment, my business is only starting off, and I have not yet settled into it. ¡°Yes, I know; I still do not understand why you want to work. You have your trust fund that is enough for you to live from.¡± ¡°That is exactly what I thought, so I wanted to ask you if I can still stay on here in your ce. I am not going to Pendleton. I want to see if this thing with Matt is going to work.¡± ¡°Katarina, you know his reputation around here? Matt is not a man that easily settles down.¡± ¡°I know, if things do not work out, then that is fine. I really like this little town.¡± ¡°As I told youst time, you are more than wee to stay here.¡± Now, this is something that I did not seeing. Katarina is known to be just as big of a yer than what Matt is. I can understand why they feel that they both want to try and see if something between them will work out. I am truly happy if she wants to find the right man for her in Matt. I just hope they don¡¯t end up hurting each other. By now, I think Ethan has heard the same news from Matt. I know that Ethan is going to be very heartbroken. He is extremely close to his brother. But he is a reasonable man, and he shall understand why he does not want to follow him across the country. At this stage, the only thing I am concerned about is Ethan and our baby. I am already going to be on my own when he leaves to deploy; I do not need to be caught up in other people¡¯s situations. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ After we both needed to say what needed saying, Matt and I make our way to where the girls are sitting in the kitchen. I can see Ana has been crying, I don¡¯t know what they have spoken about, but it really has upset her. ¡°Boo, are you okay?¡± ¡°Yes, soldier, these are happy tears.¡± ¡°Guess you heard the news as well. ¡°Yes, Katarina is staying ¡°And so is Matt.¡± Wait a minute here; I don¡¯t think I got the whole story. I am officially the dumbest man alive. How did I not see thising?Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°You damn dog, you were holding out on me. Have things gotten so serious?¡± ¡°Hey, you did not ask.¡± ¡°I did ask.¡± ¡°You just did not ask the right questions.¡± ¡°I forgot you not good at this girl thing.¡± ¡°Well, neither were you and look what you got now.¡± I turn to look at Ana. I am just blown away to see how beautiful and radiant her face is. Those deep brown eyes are piercing straight through my soul and are filling my heart. Now more than ever, I know what I need to do. ¡°Boo, you want to go for a walk?¡± ¡°Of course, soldier, after all of this, I do need a bit of fresh air.¡± Slowly, we make our way into the cool of the night. We find the path that leads even further up the mountain. The bright moonlight is casting shadows over the trees as we walk underneath them. The fragrance of hundreds of spring flowers fills the air. It is a perfect night tonight. I find us a nearby rock to sit on. As I stand in front of this magnificent woman that I love more than life itself, I stare up into the skies above. The beauty of the millions of bright stars settle my racing heart, and I know this is the perfect moment. I grasp her hand,cing our fingers in a way that makes my heart beat faster. I move a strand of her hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear. My left thumb runs along the smooth curve of her throat as I close the gap between us. I drop my free hand to her back and catch her around her waist. My hand runs upward along her back until my fingers curl themselves in the hair at the back of her neck. With a slight pull of her hair, I bend her head backward, giving me easy ess to her lips. My warm breath lingers just for a second; I feel that I cannot breathe, I cannot move, my entire body stiffening. I lower my lips onto hers, in an instant, we melt into each other. Then I kiss her; I kiss her with purpose like my lips have a n. I possess her; I own her. I look into her magnificent eyes; the swirls of emotion I see there makes me gasp. I never knew a kiss so innocent could be so intimate. I feel like I am walking on air. The way her lips connect with mine. Her mouth is so warm, the caress of his lips so soft. She makes me breathless. I kiss her with everything inside me; it is raw, filled with desire, fear, yearning, and a touch of desperation. After what feels like a better half of ten minutes, I pull away slowly from the intimate moment that is still raging through my veins. ¡°Boo, I want to ask you something.¡± Chapter 67 Defining Moments I believe that life is made up of a series of moments; these moments are what define who you are now and what you shall be. Today I have closed the door to everything in my past, the heartaches, and failures. I am opening a new door to my future, my future with Ana. I am ready to begin the next chapter of my life. It is like I have just woken up, and I am in a ce where everything just feels right. My heart is calm, and my soul is lit. My thoughts are calm, and my vision is clear. I am satisfied with where I have been and where I am headed And when I look into Ana¡¯s eyes, I can see where I am; I see my today, my tomorrow, and my future. From the very moment I met her for the first time, I knew deep down in my heart that I found someone truly special. Being in love with her is the most amazing feeling in the world. Which leads us to this moment. ¡­AN HOUR EARLIER¡­ ¡­Ethan POV¡­ So this has been a whirlwind of a day; to say that my head is not spinning would be a total lie. The one minute we were ready to deploy again in a week, then the next Ana was pregnant, and my entire family, apart from Matt, is packing up and moving to California. I have be a man and a father in only a space of a few hours. Am I scared? Well, if I said shitless, I would be sugar-coating it. But what I am about to do next, for the second time around, will be the scariest thing I will ever do in my life. Everyone is standing in the kitchen while mom and I are still in the room. She can see there is a burning question that is raging through my mind. ¡°What is wrong, Ethan?¡± ¡°Mom, I need to make right by Ana.¡± ¡°What do you mean to make right? What have you done wrong?¡± ¡°No, I have not done anything wrong. It is what I need to do.¡± My mom realizes what I mean by make right, I can see the concern creep into her eyes, but along with that, she understands why I feel the way I do. ¡°Ethan, it is not something you have to do. It must be something you want to do.¡± ¡°But mom, we are having a baby; the baby needs a mother and father.¡± ¡°The baby has a mother and father.¡± ¡°The mother and father need to be together.¡± ¡°But you are together, Ethan.¡± ¡°Mom, you know what I mean.¡± ¡°I know what you mean, son; I am just trying to say that it is not something you have to do because you are having a baby. It is a big step, and I am going to sound like your dad now; you guys should take this seriously; with marriage, there is no time for mistakes. I don¡¯t want you kids to get hurt again, I hate to bring up thest time, but you really need to do this for the right reasons.¡± ¡°But if I do ask her again, I will have your blessing still?¡± ¡°Of course, and I am sure we will have your father¡¯s too.¡± Just then, we hear a scuffle behind us. I swear that I feel my entire body freeze even harder than a block of ice. I watch as my mom¡¯s eyes grow wide and mine even grows wider. I grind on my teeth and pray that she did not hear a single word. ¡°Dad, don¡¯t sneak up on us like that! I almost thought it was Ana.¡± ¡°If it were, then she would have heard every single word you said. But your mom is right.¡± ¡°Wait, are you actually agreeing with mom for a change?¡± ¡°Stop being so dramatic. Mary, I think if the boy is serious, then it is time to pass the ring along.¡± ¡°Pass what ring along?¡± I watch as my mom goes to open the small safe in her closet. She pulls out a red velvet box from underneath a bunch of papers. I have seen it in there many times, but I actually have never looked at it. ¡°This was your grandmother¡¯s ring. She gave it to me when your dad and I got married. But you know how your father is; he was scared I would lose it, so I never wear it.¡± ¡°But mom can¡¯t just give it to me.¡± My dad goes on to exin, ¡°It¡¯s been handed down for generations. We were actually worried that we would never get the chance to hand it down. You being in the marines and your brother that can¡¯t keep a girl down for longer than a week.¡± My mom hands me the ring. It is glistening and morous; it is the type of ring that will win any woman¡¯s heart. It has a shimmering round diamond that sparkles in the centerpiece. There are blue sapphires that adorn a butterfly-inspired shank. It is vivid and dramatic, but the most beautiful ring I have ever seen.This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Thank you, mom, dad.¡± ¡°Good luck, son, this time, do it right. Go down on your knee and as the girl properly.¡± ¡°I am going to need more than luck for this one. I have not even gotten to it, and I want to die.¡± My mom pulls me into a hug, and with her reassuring words, she squeezes me hard, ¡°You will know when you are ready; the perfect time wille.¡± ¡­PRESENT TIME¡­ ¡­Ethan POV¡­ And the perfect time hase, well that is what I thought up until a minute ago. Now I can not even form a wordless even say one. I watch as she is sitting there with her long locks of brown hair that is ying in the wind. I can not see her eyes in the shade of the trees, but I can see them sparkling; therefore, I know that she is happy. Am I going to ruin this moment by popping an unexpected question? Our rtionship has been so much touch and go; I do not want to ruin it again; thest time that we did not speak to each other, it nearly killed me. In a way, I am scared I am going to lose her but is that not then a wrong reason for wanting to marry her? ¡°So what is it that you wanted to ask me, soldier?¡± ¡°I¡­ uhm¡­ I just wanted to have you alone to myself for a moment.¡± ¡°All away up here in the cold?¡± ¡°Guess this is thest we are going to see this; I thought we could just spend a bit of time here before we have to leave it behind.¡± ¡°Are you sure? There is nothing else you wanted to talk about?¡± ¡°No, boo, I have everything I want right here .¡± Why is it so much harder this time around, thest time it came so freely? Was it truly because we were doing it for all the wrong reasons? Is it really the right reason this time. All I know deep in my heart is that I want to do this more than anything; this time, it has to be right. I do not want to risk us breaking up again because one of us feels that it is not something that they are ready for. But then again, will you ever be prepared for such a big step. I want to do this right; she needs to know that I want this with all my heart and soul. Now just to get myself to do it. ¡­Ana POV¡­ That will teach me for eavesdropping on someone, in fact, Ethan and his parents. If I did not sneak up to go find him, I would have never heard what he was nning to do. The question begs, will I say yes? For he brought all the way up here in the chill of the night with the full attention to propose. But now, he seems to have lost his nerve, or did he change his mind? Whatever is going through his mind does seem to trouble him a bit. ¡°Soldier, are you sure you are okay? You don¡¯t look yourself.¡± ¡°Boo, I am just nervous. I can¡¯t believe that it is happening.¡± ¡°That makes two of us, but we got each other so we can get through this.¡± ¡°And my mom will be there when I am not around.¡± ¡°See, everything is sorted; what else do you possibly have to worry about?¡± ¡°I guess I was just not ready.¡± ¡°Well, if there is nothing else, you think we can go inside?¡± I watch as he hesitates, hoping that he will finally ask me what he really wanted to ask me up here for. ¡°No, boo, let¡¯s go inside.¡± With that, my heart breaks into tiny bits. The pain shoots like a dagger through my heart, and the tears start to sting my eyes. Does Ethan not want to get married to me after all? Chapter 68 Until I See You Later It is just before sunrise on what will be ourst morning in this small little town close to the end of nowhere. Today I say goodbye to my life here. I mighte back here someday when Ie to see Matt, but in over a little than two hours, I shall get on a bus and leave this all behind. Next to me is my new life; she looks even more radiant than she did yesterday. If there were ever two things that I did right in my life, then it is Ana and the Corps. One thing I can¡¯t get right is to propose to her. I know that it is what I want to do; in a way, I am scared that she might say no, and this ego of mine will not take a heartbreak so easily. Yes being a fearless Marine is something, but opening myselfpletely is another thing. I missed the perfect momentst night; from here on end, it is everything deployment. The next week is going to be the worse time that we shall ever face in our rtionship. I need to do this today, it is not going to be romantic, but today is the day that I ask her to marry me. And with this thought in mind, I see her slowly opening her eyes. ¡°Morning, boo.¡± ¡°Morning, soldier.¡± ¡°How did you sleep?¡± ¡°Just hold that thought for two seconds.¡± She jumps and out of bed and dashes for the bathroom; not even secondster, I hear her making the most godawful sounds as she is getting sick. I can¡¯t help but chuckle to myself. ¡°What is so funny, soldier?¡± ¡°I thought being pregnant should be the best time of your life.¡± ¡°And I did not know that you are a clown.¡± ¡°Hey, I did my part in this.¡± ¡°Yes, donating the sperm cells, then you conveniently off for six months.¡± ¡°Hey, at least I get to catch the best part of it.¡± ¡°And that would be?¡± ¡°Watching the baby being born.¡± ¡°Be careful what you wish for; I can see this tough Marine passing out.¡± And this Marine is going to pass out when he finally gets the guts to ask her. But for now, the ring will just have to burn a hole in my pocket. ¡­Ana POV¡­ I am finding it very amusing that this man can look forward to a baby being born, but he can not pop a question. I still am very concerned that maybe it is not something he really wants to do but then why will he have a ring in his pocket. Maybe I am getting my hopes up for nothing; this is important to me though, I want to know that my child has a real father and not just a dad that visits on birthdays. I am not saying that Ethan will not be a father; I think that I just want him to be a husband. This is my second shot at happiness, and I really want it to work out this time around, especially with Ethan. ¡°What are you thinking of that is making you frown so much, boo?¡± ¡°Nothing, in particr, soldier.¡± ¡°Well, at that rate of nothing, you going to need botox by the time you thirty-one.¡± ¡°You can be d I feel like shit; otherwise, I would smack you.¡± ¡°Do you want to grab some fresh air before we get ready to leave?¡± ¡°Yes, I think that would be a good idea.¡± Now hopefully, it is his second attempt at asking me. Not the ideal state for my body, but it is for certain going to make me feel better than I am. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ I don¡¯t think I am going to attempt the take for a walk and propose this time; I am, in fact, taking her for a real walk, for if she takes a look into the mirror, she will see how awful that radiant has turned. But I value my body parts that I have left; therefore, thest thing I shall say is how shit she looks. I don¡¯t know how she is going to hold up on the bus, though, that constant moving on a body that feels queasy. I do feel sad that I shall miss out on this, not that it looks fun. But it is a life experience that one should at least have with the mother of your child. Now, if I can just make that mother my wife. ¡°What are you thinking of now, soldier?¡± ¡°How sick you are going to get on the bus.¡± ¡°Damn, aren¡¯t you just a ray of sunshine this morning. Thank you for reminding me.¡± ¡°You can always drive up with my parents.¡± ¡°No, I said it before, and I am saying it again, I am going with you.¡± We head for the very same rock we found ourselves on, and I cannot help but chuckle to myself. ¡°What is so funny now?¡± ¡°Nothing, boo, justughing at myself.¡± ¡°You are acting very odd.¡± ¡°Just excited, that¡¯s all.¡± ¡°Well, I think we must get our excited asses inside and get ready; we need to leave in an hour.¡± ¡°Are you feeling better?¡± ¡°Yes, a lot, thanks.¡± We slowly wander down the green path in the crisp cool morning air. We both walk in silence as we make our way back to the house. She ispletely startled as I shout out. ¡°Wait!¡± I look down into her chocte brown eyes. There is a pool of emotions swimming in there. I can pin not one single thought but the only one I called us to stop. ¡°I just wanted to say I love you.¡± ¡°I love you too, soldier, but thanks for giving a woman a heart attack.¡± ¡°Next time, I will whisper.¡± I cup her red cheeks in my hands and slowly lean into her lips. When we finally touch, sparks fly in every direction, and the world slowly disappears around us. She makes me feel like nothing else that matters. Her lips are warm, and she kisses me slow. It is innocent yet so intimate. I pull her, even more closer to me and tangle my fingers in her long brown hair. The kiss bes deeper and more passionate. Our lips are moving in perfect sync. I feel her hands on the back of my neck as she ys with the ends of my hair. A smile grows on my face as we finally pull apart. ¡°That smile is what got you into trouble the first time.¡± ¡°I was not thinking anything, boo.¡± ¡°Ugh. You are impossible! Let¡¯s go before we arete.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ Second time nothing. Does the man not know how to use that mouth. He definitely knew how to use it just now. Maybe third time lucky? Something tells me that I should not bank on it soon. This might even take him the whole of this week. What else is taking him a week is to get dressed. I have never seen him worry about what he is wearing, but today he seems to want to be perfect. In all this while that I have known him, I have not once seen him so excited. Once we are finally ready to go, we both are standing in the doorway. This was only our home for a very short while, but I am truly going to miss it. It is closing a chapter of our lives, but we are starting a whole new one. We make the short walk down to the bus stop; as we get there, the whole Hunter family is waiting for us. ¡°Fashionablyte as always,¡± Matt says. ¡°Well,¡± Katarina adds. ¡°They could not have slept in; what was it that kept you?¡± Then his mom says something rather odd, ¡°Maybe something happened that we do not know about? He looks shy and irritated as his family is nearly giving his secret away, ¡°Can you people mind your own business.¡± ¡°You tell them, son,¡± his father agrees. ¡°No wonder this town is like it is. The Hunters are the ones to start the rumors.¡± Just then, the buses into sight further down the road. The most difficult goodbye he is going to make is the one person whom he is now pulling into his embrace. I can hear as his voice trembling, and by his short rapid breaths, I can hear that he is crying. ¡°Look after yourself, Matty; I will be back in six months.¡± ¡°I think I should tell you that, trying home in one piece this time.¡± ¡°You try to stick with one girl this time.¡± ¡°And you should try and pop the question some time.¡± ¡°You know I am going to miss your stupid face and wiseass jokes.¡± ¡°I am going to miss you too, bro. I don¡¯t have anyone to p against the head.¡±Text content ? N?velDrama.Org. Then I hear Ethan as hepletely breaks down. The tears are now freely flowing down his cheeks like a waterfall streaming over a mountain. His deep husky voice has fallen apart as he sobs. Everyone stands in silence as we watch Matt and Ethan say goodbye. It breaks my heart into pieces listening at the agonizing pain he is feeling at the moment.¡± ¡°Now get on that bus, bro. Go do what you do best.¡± With that, we find ourselves on the back seats of the bus staring out of the window, watching how the Hunters getting smaller and smaller as we roll slowly out of town. We see the town disappear and bing nothing but a memory. Once there is nothing left but open road around us, I turn to Ethan, the sadness are fading, and the excitement seems to set in. ¡°Are you ready for this, boo?¡± ¡°Yes, my soldier. But there is something I want to ask you. This might not be the right time or ce for it.¡± ¡°What do you want to ask me, boo?¡± Chapter 69 The Wrong Way Around I have a very serious and somewhat nervous Ana looking into my eyes with the deepest affection that is held within hers. By the way, her eyes are sparkling in the early morning sun; I am not fully sure if she is just glowing from radiance or if she, indeed, maybe on the brink of crying. She is making me worry somewhat, but as I have learned on several asions, I that shall let her gather herself, and she shall speak when she is ready. But what can be this great that it has stunned this confident woman to silence, which is now going on for much more longer than my worrying heart can take? If she is having second thoughts, then I¡¯d say that we are past the point of return now. Much to my relief, with somewhat stumbling mumbles, she starts to speak. ¡°Soldier, you know how much I love you.¡± ¡°Yes, like infinity and beyond.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t make meugh; this is serious.¡± ¡°How serious? Like turn around and go back home serious?¡± ¡°No! God, no! I do not want to go back to Maggie.¡± ¡°Then what is wrong, boo?¡± I watch as she once again starts to fidget around with her fingers, twisting them over and around each other. If she twists them any harder, then they might even break. She is now really starting to make me worry. ¡°Is there something wrong with the baby?¡± ¡°No! Soldier, I would be crying, not stuttering like a damn idiot.¡± ¡°Then tell me what is wrong, boo?¡± She swallows hard and is struggling to find the words. If she is fearful of saying what is on her mind, I do not wish to think what her words are going to do to me. ¡°Well, the thing is, I was kind of¡­¡± she continues; I watch as her lips start to stutter as a fear sets over her. ¡°Kind of?¡± I say in return. ¡°Well, more like hoping¡­¡± ¡°Hoping for?¡± ¡°Well, actually wanting¡­¡± ¡°Wanting what?¡± ¡°I wanted to ask you¡­¡± ¡°Ask me?¡± ¡°Stop repeating everything I am saying, soldier!¡± ¡°Why must I stop repeating everything you are saying, boo?¡± ¡°Because it sounds like I am proposing to myself.¡± I think the echo of my own voice has me slightly confused. Did she just say that she is proposing? I am almost for certain sure that she did. To say that I am not blown away, and dumbstruck would for sure be a lie. Can a woman even do such a thing? I am sure it is the man that should, but at the rate that I am taking, it might just take me forever to do. ¡°Sorry boo, but can you just repeat that.¡± ¡°I said I want you to¡­¡± ¡°Marry me?¡± ¡°Ugh! I see what you did there. You think you are clever soldier.¡± ¡°No, just a bit optimistic.¡± Don¡¯t I just feel like an idiot, but it stopped me from making a fool out of myself. And I think that it is kind of sweet that she asked me instead. I think this will go down as the most treasured days in my life. ¡°So what does your optimistic ass say, soldier?¡± ¡°No, you go first.¡± ¡°You are impossible.¡± ¡°Is that a yes?¡± ¡°Yes, soldier, it is a yes. But I asked you first.¡± I chuckle at her frustration; I cannot help but stop and admire her beauty. This is the woman that I am going to spend the rest of my life with; she will be the mother of our child. I cannot think of any other that can take this ce in my life, but somehow she shall always remind me of this day. ¡°I can already see that I am never going to live this one down.¡± ¡°So, are you going to answer me?¡± ¡°Yes, boo, of course, I will.¡± ¡°Thank god now I can breathe.¡± ¡°That makes two of us.¡± It took quite a different approach, but now I can finally take this ring that has been burning a hole in my pocket and put it on her finger. And as I take it out, she is so overwhelmed that those tears I knew I saw earlier one pouring down like a bursting cloud on a hot summer¡¯s day. I gently take her hand, and ever slowly, to savor this moment forever, I slip the ring onto her trembling finger. The smile that ys around the corners of her mouth is big enough to consume her beautiful face. In all our time together, I have never seen her as happy as this. This does ease my heart for thinking that she would have rejected me if I had asked her earlier on. As soon as it is nestled firm into its ce, I pull her closer into my tight embrace. She is still crying; I can feel my shirt getting soaked from her tears where she isying her face against my chest. I want never to forget this moment, the exact minute that I knew for certain that she is going to be the woman I spend the rest of my life with. And for the next few hours, that is where she stays, wrapped in my arms, safe and happy; nothing in the world matters but just us. She might never fully understand what it is that I feel for her, but I¡¯d say this is pretty much a good ce to start at. The closer we get to Pendleton, the more the reality and excitement sets in. This has now be our new home; this is where we will build our life as husband and wife but also as a father and mother. As we drive through the gates to where the bus stop is, the tears that I have been holding back start to trickle down my face. I see Ana looks up to me underneath her fluttering eyshes. But as soon as the tears roll, the sooner they stop; for now, I am a Marine, a husband, but more importantly, a father. I am not that frightened boy anymore. With the first step I take off the bus, with very much shaky legs, I turn to Ana.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Boo, are you ready for this?¡± ¡°Soldier, I am shit scared, but we can do this.¡± ¡°And we have a lot to be shit scared about.¡± ¡°You such a ray of sunshine, you supposed to say we can do this.¡± ¡°I think we both have established that I do not have a way with words.¡± ¡°Ugh, juste; I think that is Gibbs waiting for us.¡± As we head on over to where Gibbs is waiting for us, I cannot help but think what a great friend he has been. He carried me out that godforsaken building where they tortured me and held the rest of my squad as prisoners. I can still remember his words as he lifted me into the humvee. He thanked me for saving them and promised me if it takes him the rest of his life, he will show me how thankful he was. The day I woke up in the hospital, he was one of the Marines that were standing by my bed. I have seen this man cry like a baby when they had to tell me that I lost my leg. Even after I said I did not want to see anyone, he still came every day just toe to annoy the shit out of me. And I am grateful for every day, for it was those moments that got me through my deepest dark days. He and the rest of my squad have always been like brothers to me. Should my choice to take over from Ray not be easy, then? ¡°Hey, it is great to see you again, Sergeant. We were worried that you might note back.¡± ¡°Who is going to grind your ass then?¡± ¡°The boys are over at Ray if you would like to join us.¡± I turn to Ana; she has now be my only priority, ¡°Boo, do you want to go for a bit?¡± ¡°Of course, then I can tell the whole squad how I proposed to you.¡± I see old Gibbs look at me kind of weird at Ana¡¯s words, he but only burtst outughing at this Marine that can lift a gun confidently, but he cannot ce a ring on a woman¡¯s finger. ¡°Congrattions is in order then. I would love to hear about this proposal; I am sure it will bring someughter to the boys that are shit scare before deployment. Ray said this is not going to be an easy one.¡± As I look over to Ana, I can see a fear of seven horrors settle over her face. How do I reassure her that it shall all be okay? I think it hase time to make my decision. When we ge to Ray, Ana wastes no time in telling all the boys how shit scared this Marine was to propose. And true to Gibbs¡¯s word, it does bring much needed smiles to their faces. Then as I look over to Ray, he looks at me in the way. It is time to tell him what I have decided, Chapter 70 Men Made To Haunt You It hase to that time again that I need to say my goodbyes. The week hase and gone faster than I wanted. It feels that I have not spent near enough time with Ana. The most unbearing thing shall be being away from the baby. I have grown fond of the idea and even more attached to something that has not yet even given shape. To say that I am not going to miss the both of them with be a lie. The anticipation of deploying on the other side is equally just exciting. This time we will be away for a definite six months. This time the stakes are higher, and the danger is far greater. Camp Baharia in Fallujah, the base name, has a tight connection with its operating force; in fact, the Marine Corps are referred to as mushaat al baharia in the Arabiannguage; hence the free trantion, the name describes the navy walkers. Among the military troop and plenty of other officials, including the 2-nd Battalion 1-st Marines, it is referred to as Dreand. And this is where we are headed. Ana is petrified; in a way, I am very grateful that she will not be deploying with me; in my opinion, this is not a ce for a woman. It can get brutal, and it can get deadly; it is the center of resistance. Just recently, four civilian contractors were killed, and five Marines lost their lives. Here I find myself staring at that beautiful chocte brown eyes; they are filled with tears. At times she can look me in the eyes; those are the times that she know that she will miss me and that everything will be okay. Then there are the ones that she refuses, for she is so angry at me that I feel I need to do such a thing now that we are expecting a child. There is nothing I can say that shall make her feel better. Even having to promise her that I shall see her on the other side of this is even harder to promise. But a lie is better than any kind of truth. ¡°Boo, please don¡¯t be mad; I promise you that I will see you soon.¡± ¡°Ethan, six months is not soon. Why? Why do you have to go? Can someone else not go?¡± ¡°Please, don¡¯t do this now, not now that I have to leave. You know why I do this.¡± ¡°Get someone else to serve this country. I refuse to let you go. This is absurd; you have a child on the way.¡± ¡°And so does Lewis and at least a third of the battalion. We do this not because we need to; we do this because we want to. Please do not fight with me on the day that I have to leave.¡± I watch as she breaks down into little pieces; her heart is falling apart, I am falling apart. Right now, it feels like we are falling apart. This is by far the hardest thing I shall ever do in our rtionship, but she has to believe that I shalle home. There is so much here for me toe home to. She needs to believe that my will toe back is far greater than my will to go. Six months may sound like an awful amount of time, but before she knows, I will be right in front of this door again, greeting her hello.This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. So it is with a crushing feeling that I pull her once more into thefort of my arms, I might be a tough Marine, but right now, all of that is out the door. My world is crashing as I pull her into my arms for this onest time. For this moment, all I need is for us to exist. My arms enfold her like a protective cocoon; as Iy her head against my chest, I can nearly hear my heart beating at a drum through her ears. The tears rolling down my cheeks drop like little trickles of a fountain on top of her head. I squeeze her harder than I have ever done before; her body trembles into the same rhythm as mine. After what seems to be the better part of ten minutes, it is time for me to go; the time hase, we are leaving in the next hour. As I reluctantly pull away, I lift her chin for her eyes to meet mine, ¡°I love you, boo. I promise I will speak to you soon.¡± Through stuttering words, I hear her speak under her rapid breath, ¡°I love you, soldier. Please be safe; pleasee back to me.¡± With that, I get in the jeep with Gibbs; as I turn my head, I can see Ana growing smaller and smaller in the distance until she is but only a speck. Gibbs, sensing my pain, looks at me. ¡°I will make sure you make it back to her in one piece, Lieutenant.¡± I burst out in an uncontrobleughter, not so much as the fact that he said he would return me in one piece, but the very words of Lieutenant rolling over his lips. It is still very sad to think that Ray won¡¯t be joining us on this one; then again, I can give Ana thefort of knowing that I won¡¯t be going out on a mission. Perhaps not fully, for I know my determination to prove to myself what I can do will draw me out in the field. As we finally make our way to the airforce base, it brings a set of pride to my heart as I see the squads that are now under my lead. Never when I joined the Marines all those years ago did I once foresee myself to be in this position. I am proud, but most of all, I am a proud half a Marine. So as I look all my boys in the eyes, there are not speeches of let us get home back safe, and let us do our best for we know that is what we are trained for. I have only one word, ¡°Oorah.¡± After what seems like endless hours of traveling, we soon find ourselves crossing the border into Iraq. The world has just be real. ¡­Ana POV¡­ As I sit here in the lounge waiting for Ethan¡¯s family toe, I think to myself that he should round about now arrive at camp. I hate that I was so nasty with him earlier on now; I know that he shall be okay and no matter what, that he shalle home alive. But, god, I cannot shake the feeling from my mind, what if he does note back. It is ruthless out there; I have heard the amount of Marines that have already died out there. There, do I even dare to say it, have been Marines that need to be saved from being tortured? I guess I should have known the very minute that I started seeing a Marine that this day woulde, but never with his disability did I think that he would deploy again. He is stubborn and strong-willed, and he will not give up until he has proven himself to not only him but everyone else. Guess I am over-optimistic if I think he would take a desk job. Just then, the doorbell buzzes, it must be his mom and dad, but as I open the door, it is not a face that I would have suspected. ¡°What do you want?¡± ¡°Is that a way to greet me?¡± ¡°What do you want.¡± ¡°I heard that you are on base, dating some Marine.¡± ¡°Actually marrying, now what do you want?¡± I cannot stand people thate unannounced, but I guess ghosts from your past do not particrly ask for permission toe around. ¡°Are you going to let me stand outside, or are you going to let me in?¡± ¡°I guess I probably have no choice; otherwise, you are never going to go away.¡± As we walk inside, I check the clock; Ethan¡¯s mom and dad bettere soon. There is a reason why you cut people out of your life; I guess some of them just do not get the message. If Ethan was here, I don¡¯t know what he would have done, but the sooner I find out the reason behind the visit, the sooner I can say goodbye. ¡°So, why are you here, and cut the bullshit that you want to catch up. You must have gone through an awful lot of effort to find out where I am.¡± ¡°It really not much of an effort to find you, Ana; you were always reckless. It amazes me that you have nevere in contact with me since what happened.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t see any reason why I should have. You deceived not only me but a whole lot of others that cared about you.¡± ¡°The only one I ever cared about was you.¡± ¡°Bullshit. Stop wasting my time. What do you want?¡± Chapter 71 Reality Bites The Hardest ¡­Ana POV¡­ They say that realityes to bite you when you least expect it. Well, a ghost from my past has just surfaced its head. In a way, I knew that he would one daye. I knew that he should find me, and then it will just start all over again. But there is a question that begs, how did he know that Ethan will not be here. Does this mean that he has been watching me this whole time, just waiting for his gap to step from out the darkness? What I also know is that he will not leave until he came here to say what he has to say. Knowing him though he has note to talk, he has so to say,e to im his prize. Or what he alwayses for. Am I d that Ethan is not here to see this yoff? I can honestly say yes. But what I also know is that Ethan is going to be furious if he ever has to find out. I have hidden it very well up until now; I just hope he leaves before Mary and Johnes. So for once again, I ask him, ¡°What do you want?¡± With that stupid ass smirk that he always used to get on his face, ¡°Now is that how you treat your husband.¡± ¡°You are not my husband.¡± ¡°Ana, thest time I checked, we are still married, so guess what?¡± ¡°No, but I bet you are going to tell me.¡± ¡°You cannot marry your little boy toy.¡± Then the anger sets in all over again, yes, I am still married to this asshole, and I know that he will never give me a divorce. Now wait until he finds out that I am pregnant, then all hell is going to break loose. ¡°Mark, why did youe here? You know that you are not allowed on any military base. Why they did not lock up your ass is beyond me.¡± ¡°Come on; you know that they said they made a mistake.¡± ¡°Bullshit! You changed your tags on purpose.¡± ¡°Now, Ana, how can you use me of doing such a thing.¡± ¡°Mark, I am not using you of anything; I am merely telling you the truth. You ran your ass in trouble with that bookie and were looking for the easy way out.¡± I watch as he is getting rather frustrated. One thing that Mark did well, was tell lies, and another is gambling. Even though he found him on base or deployed, he always had a way to find himself in some sort of gambling debt. That was a part of his life that I was not part of, yet it came to haunt us both. After we lost the baby, instead of feeling grief, he spiraled deeper into his addiction. We were like strangers, but yet when he needed help, he always steps forward. The day the Marine Corps find out that they had dered the wrong man dead, they swept it under the carpet. They asked Mark to disappear and to never speak of it again. I think the total embarrassment is what drew them to make such a rash decision. With this, in return, the very bookie that was looking for him stopped his search as he too was under the impression that Mark was dead. It took Mark about a month, once again after getting himself into trouble, to seek me out and ask for help to getting him out of the miserable mess that he found himself in. That day I vowed to myself that I will disappear and that he will never find me again. Well, it seems that he has found me again. Now I do not think he is here to rekindle our love; I am yet to bail him out again. Now, will I do this? Will I do this to hide the truth from Ethan? That I do not know, for Mark will keep oning back now that he knows where to find me. And he knows now that Ethan will be away for the next six months. Do I even dare and y along until he finally gives in and allows me the divorce that I have been seeking so desperately for years? I was hoping that he would stay away long enough for me to dere him missing. Yet, I will not be afforded this luxury. So what am I left to do? ¡°Mark, you have not answered my question. What do you want? Do you need money?¡± ¡°No, Ana, I am afraid not this time; believe me, I have closed that chapter, and I have not gambled for over a month now.¡± ¡°Then what is it that you want?¡± ¡°You, I came back for you. I came back for my wife.¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. So we have just arrived at camp, and everyone is settling down. To say that this is notpletely scary and intimidating would be a lie. I have never seen so many Marines in one ce, well, perhaps for training at Pendleton, maybe not even then. To describe the mood, there is excitement, but this is overpowered by the alertness that one should feel for fear of being attacked at any moment. The battle opps tent is abuzz as the toon leaders are going about nning which squad shall make their way on a tour to Fallujah to sweep the city for any resistance. This in itself is a whole new level of danger that awaits them. Being out there is a question of life or death; the saying an eye for an eye is definitely a reality. But there is a new set of fear that sets over me; I am in charge of the lives of fourty-three men. I shall simply fall into an abyss if anything happens to them because of a decision I have made. Their lives are now in my hands; I only hope that I can be the leader that they can look up to and trust with their lives. Pushing my fears behind, I take my ce, very odd but somewhat proud that I am in the center of where everything happens. Amongst the toon leaders, I surprisingly see the face of Lopez. I have not seen the man in years, so I make my way over to him to say my hellos. ¡°Hey, you shit, what are you doing here?¡± ¡°Hunter, I thought they were shitting with me when they told me that you are here.¡± ¡°You know how it goes; just can¡¯t keep me away from the action.¡± He bursts outughing so deep from his belly that he nearly topples over, ¡°Just don¡¯t get yourself blown to shit this time.¡± Now I know that it is only his way of joking, so I only butugh him off and p him on the shoulder, ¡°And don¡¯t get one of yours sent in a bag in pieces,¡± He only but chuckles, and it is as if there is a light that goes on in his head. At first, he seems somewhat ufortable, yet he carries on to ask, ¡°So I heard you are seeing Ana Jenkins?¡± ¡°Yes, man, she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. In fact, I just asked her to marry me.¡± He gasps, and, somewhat stuttering, he looks at me, ¡°Ethan, you know the woman is still married?¡± ¡°Mark is dead, so it is not a problem. I mean, she is technically a widow now.¡± Then he moves closer to me, ¡°Come, let us go for a walk. There are too many ears around here.¡± As he leads me out of the tent, my mind starts racing in a thousand directions. What can possibly be so hushed that he needs to take me away from everyone. What bugs me the most, though, is the look on his face. It is hard to ce if it is shock or fear, perhaps even both. What on earth has this fearless Marine so spooked all of a sudden. So as he drags me deeper out into the camp, away from every single person that can possibly hear, I turn to him and stop, ¡°Lopez, what is going on?¡± ¡°Hunter, the thing is, there was a big mess up with the tags the day that Jenkins was in the ident.¡± ¡°What do you mean mess up?¡± ¡°Fuck, I am going to get killed for this, but you did not hear this from me.¡± ¡°Hey man, you are starting to scare the shit out of me.¡± He lowers his voice and starts to whisper underneath his breath, ¡°Jenkins is not dead.¡± ¡°What the fuck?¡± My voice echoes to every corner, making a few Marines raise their eyebrows. ¡°The tags on the body was his, but it was not him.¡± ¡°How the fuck did that happen.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. Some say that he swapped them, and others say it was a mistake. All I know is that they decided to sweep it under the rug and asked Jenkins to disappear.¡± ¡°Do you know where he is?¡± ¡°Thest I heard, he was looking for Ana.¡± ¡°Okay, just step back a minute. Does she know he is alive?¡± Chapter 72 Pain Of A Marine I have just received somewhat disturbing news. Ana¡¯s husband is very much still alive. Now, this brings two things to mind. Does she know that he is? Or is she in danger? I have no way of confirming this for myself. I am off in the middle of hostile country; there is not much I can do from here. What I can do is phone her for a brief moment. So as I go to my tent, I feel a somewhat nervous feeling creep into my heart. Or is it fear, fear for Ana and our child? I will simply die if anything has to happen to her by a man that she once trusted. Well, that all depends if she knows about him or not. And it is with this thought in mind that I, with rather trembling fingers, called Ana¡¯s number. I patiently, in absolute frustration, wait for her to answer the call. Yet, there is no answer. ¡­Ana POV¡­ I have a rather annoying, suppose to be dead husband standing in front of me demanding that I conveniently take him back. Yes, the man did lie to me, and yes, I am still married to him. But he has another thinging if he thinks he can walk in here and demand me to go back into his life again. I have moved on; he shall find it best for himself to give me that divorce. God, if it can before Ethan returns, that would even be better. And talk about the very Ethan, I believe that he is trying to phone me right now. Now, do I answer and piss Mark off, or do I ignore it and make Ethan stress his ass off. But if I thought that the call would go unnoticed by Mark, I was sadly mistaken, for he has now grabbed the phone from my hand and is, much to my shock, either going to answer or reject it. And what does he do? ¡­Ethan POV¡­ I am getting highly stressed, and dare I even say, annoyed. Ana is not answering her phone. I would like to believe that it is because my parents are there, but I know for a fact that they would not have arrived yet. Now, this brings a whole line of new worries to mind. Has she fallen? Did she, as she insisted, tried to unpack those boxes herself and gotten hurt? Maybe she slipped in the shower and bumped her head? God, there are so many maybes. Why on earth is she not answering the damn phone. The moment she answers, I am lovingly going to ask her what is wrong and then conveniently shit her out for making me worry like this. But then, much to my relief, she picks up on the other side, only to put the phone down in my ear again. Is she pissed off with me still? She honestly cannot still be mad at me. I mean, she can at least just answer and tell me that she does not want to talk to me right now. So I am not letting this leave unsaid, and I, once again, decide to phone her back. And then¡­ ¡­Ana POV¡­Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. Mark has just put the phone down in Ethan¡¯s ear. Knowing Ethan, he is going to be really pissed off now. And he, as he is doing now, he is phoning back. God, I just hope Mark does not do the same thing again. I think Ethan will sit far better if he thinks that I am mad at him when I don¡¯t answer, but having Mark picking up the phone and dropping it on him, is going to get Ethan furious. He will then not stop phoning me until he can get hold of him. He has an hour a day that he can call out, and believe me, he shall sit on that phone for an hour trying to get through to me. Thest thing I want is for Ethan not to have his head in the game; I know that he will not think clearly if he is distracted. Thest thing I want is for Ethan to get hurt because Mark thinks it is funny to y this little game with him. So without fail, Mark looks at me as the phone once more starts to ring, ¡°I guess this is lover boy trying to phone you. How sweet, the poor Marine has no idea what is about to hit him.¡± And then, Marks picks up the phone¡­and drops it again. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ I am now pissed off, Ana; I don¡¯t care if it is knowingly or unknowingly, but she has now yed her game, and I will not stand for it. I don¡¯t give a shit if she is mad at me, but I have the right to know if she and the baby are okay. In fact, I am worried about the baby at the present moment. She can go throw her little tantrum elsewhere. So I am going to phone her one more time, and if she does not answer, then I shall get my mom to phone me once they are there. And that is what I do, I dial her number and wait yet again in anticipation for her to answer. Then finally, well, hopefully, she does not drop it again, but she seems to stay silent for far longer than it makes me feelfortable, ¡°Ana, is everything okay.¡± ¡°Oh, believe me, she is perfectly fine,¡± from the other sidees the voice of a man that I do not know. Immediately the fear of seven horror sets over my body in all its coldness. ¡°Who the fuck are you?¡± I demand him to answer me. ¡°I guess you have not idea about me then. Guess my dear Ana is still good at keeping secrets.¡± I freezepletely as I think I know who this man is that is in my home. ¡°Are you?¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ This damn asshole has now gone and picked up the phone, but that is not my problem; he is now speaking to Ethan. It is now only a matter of time, and Ethan is going to know the biggest lie that I have told to him. In fact, Mark is now just taunting him. I do not even want to know what Ethan must be thinking. He, and do I even dare to say, he might even believe that I am being attacked in our home by some unknown man. But yet this is not believable. And let us not forget the part where he asks Ethan if he does not know who he is. I believe I can just faint right here where I am standing. Now, if I thought this was going to be the extent of the conversation, then I am sadly mistaken. For next, I hear Mark rather proudly say to Ethan, ¡°This is my wife, the woman that you have been shacking up with. Now, do you not know not to take another man¡¯s wife and y house with her.¡± From the other side of the phone, I hear Ethan burst out, ¡°Get out of my fucking house and get away from my fianc¨¦ and baby.¡± Well, I just wished that he did not say that, for Mark has now lightened up like a me that is about to rage out of control, ¡°Well, guess this little whore has been really busy. Now I have got news for you, boy, she ising with me.¡± ¡°I promise you, if youy a goddamn finger on you, then you are dead.¡± Without even thinking, I grab the phone from Mark¡¯s hand. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ My head is about to explode; this man, the very one I feared, is in my house. And yes, just like Lopez said, the asshole is very much alive and quite loosely referring to Ana as his wife. Well, another question pops in my head, why the fuck are they still married? But then I hear Ana¡¯s voicee through the phone, and I am so damn relieved that she is fine. ¡°Ana, please keep him busy; I will get someone out toe to take him away.¡± Then she shocks the living shit out of me, ¡°It is fine; he will leave just now.¡± This brings a rather bigger concern to mind, ¡°Ana, did you know that Mark was alive?¡± Well, if she did not answer me, her nervous stuttering says all that I need to know. I can confidently say that she, probably without blinking, confirms the very thing to me, ¡°Yes, Ethan, I did know.¡± ¡°Did you not perhaps feel the need to tell me this, maybe even before I proposed to a woman that is still clearly married. God, I am having a child with another man¡¯s wife!¡± My voice, I firmly believe, is echoing through the entire camp. But right now, I do not give a shit. ¡°You have kept this away from me for a whole damn year! How the fuck can I trust you. Even more importantly, are you going to pack up and leave with this man?¡± The words stun me as it flows so easily from me. ¡°Ethan, I am so sorry.¡± ¡°Sorry, does not cut it, Ana. I think it is high time that you fucking grow up. You are fucking older than me, and you act like a child.¡± ¡°Soldier, please.¡± ¡°I am not your goddamn soldier¡± with that, I drop the phone in her ear. Once again, our rtionship lies in tatters; I don¡¯t know if I can ever trust this woman again. Even a far bigger question, do I want to be with her. I will be the best far I can be, but as for the mother, well, right now, I have no idea what I should do with a woman that is still married to another man. She is a liar, and as I firmly said, grow the fuck up! Chapter 73 One More Lie I have just established that Ana has had yet another secret from me. As far as the secrets go between us, I can honestly say that this is a big one. Yes, me hiding that I was disabled can count as unforgivable. But having a seemingly innocent man sort of propose to you and then on top of that you are expecting a child, well that is kind of a bigger deal. I am all the way here in Fallujah; there is no way I can protect her, that being said, if she wishes to be protected at all. The biggest question here is, why has she not thrown this man out or, even worse, epted my offer to get him removed. Does she still have feelings for Mark? He is her real husband, after all. Now, where does that leave me? A man that clearly looks like the cheating kind. Never once have I been unfaithful, and right now, I look like a man that is messing with a married woman. And let us not forget the fact that we are having a child together. With that, a whole new bunch of questions doese to mind. If she chooses, for some unknown reason, to go back to Mark, what happens with my child? Will she take him away from me? Will I ever see him? Yes, I still firmly believe that it is a boy. I am feeling somewhat bad for telling her to grow up; the thing is that she drives me insane sometimes. Ana is if you want to think about it this way, but she five years older than me, but she seriously does not seem to act that way. I know it is such a horrible thing to say. Not like I am saying that at the age of twenty-six, I am far more mature than her. Yes, I do understand that she must be scared; it must be a horrible thing to think for one minute that your husband is dead, then the next he ispletely alive. And now she is stepping into the unknown of being pregnant. So perhaps I might have been a bit harsh. The ultimate thing, though, is that she keeps on hurting me, whether it is intentional or not, that I do not know. So where to from here? How do I pick up the pieces again? I honestly do not know. The way I truly feel now is, like I said, the best dad I can ever be. If this means that we need to be apart, then that is, unfortunately, the way it will have to be. It scares me shitless to think that she will pick Mark over me. But right now, I do not know how to deal with this, and it is in times like these that I wish that Ray was here. Now I am the Lieutenant, how do I go to a simple Marine and ask advice. How weak will this not show that I am? Though I know that there is always Gibbs and Lewis that will not look down on me for being weak. And it is the very Lewis that I find, as per usual, cracking a joke to relieve the tension in camp. So as I walk up at him while he is telling some blonde joke, he immediately rises and addresses me. ¡°Lieutenant, Sir. Please excuse my silliness; I thought the boys could do with some smiles on their faces.¡± ¡°Lewis, I think they areughing because it is such a bad joke, and they merely want to be polite.¡± ¡°Sir, I don¡¯t know if you have heard Williams¡¯s jokes; I must honestly say myme ass one beats him by far.¡± ¡°You are such a dumb ass. Now walk with me; there is something I want to talk to you about.¡± ¡°Sir, you already sound like Ray.¡± My entire old squad topples over inughter; this is what I live for. This is what I am good at, and if I can be as good as this, I can be even better as a father. I honestly and quite hurtfully want to say that I do think that I can have her in my head now. But still, I want her to be safe. So what do I do? I phone the military police at Pendleton to have Mark arrested. I think that she might just be extremely mad at me. But all things aside, I need to send my old squad out, and I will be going out with them. My head needs to be clear. I do not know whom they were fooling when they think they can keep me in a tent away from danger. As I said, I need to assess the situation out there. ¡­Ana POV¡­ Mark is refusing to leave, and I can truly say that the moment Ethan told him that I am pregnant, the anger just red up in his head. There was this wild look in his eyes, a wild look that I have seen before so many times. And a wildness that is going to erupt any minute now. For so many times now, I ask him the same question, ¡°Mark, why are you really here?¡± ¡°Coming to take home what is mine.¡± ¡°I am not yours.¡± ¡°Oh yes, you are. Now get your shit; we are going home.¡± ¡°My home is here.¡± He erupts into a burst of uncontrobleughter, aughter to mocks and taunts me, ¡°With your half of a Marine? Don¡¯t be fucking stupid. How long have you been shacking up with the poor asshole.¡± ¡°It is none of your business.¡± ¡°It is my business when you belong to me,¡± he says while the anger is starting to burn white-hot in his eyes. ¡°Don¡¯t worry; I will give you a good scrub down when we get home. And then you are going to pay for fucking around on me.¡± ¡°I am not yours, asshole.¡± With that, Mark steps forward and crashes the t of his hand into my face. My head snaps to the right, and I can feel as my lip splits open, there is the distinct taste of blood that touches the tip of my tongue. In an absolute fit of rage, he takes one step back and snaps at me, ¡°See what you made me do you.¡± There is a trembling fear that consumes my body. No one knows about Mark; no one would even think for one second that I am in danger. So I reach into my pocket and press dial; I know thest number that I dialed in my phone is Ethan. As I stand and pray that Ethan will answer my call, Mark pulls me by my arm towards my bedroom, ¡°I said go fetch your shit. And change, you look like a whore.¡± ¡°You are a fucking whore.¡± And I should not have said that; he grabs me by my hair and ms my face into the wall. The impact is so hard; I can almost say that he might have just cut my brow open. The pain hits hard, and it feels like my body shudders. ¡°Let me go, you fucking asshole!¡± I scream as loud as I possibly can, hoping that someone would hear me, but not no avail. Helicopters are flying overhead; the chances of being heard are slim to nothing. ¡°Have you not learned your lesson yet? You only speak when you are spoken to.¡± ¡°You are going to regret ever touching me,¡± I try to sound confident that by now Ethan has picked up the phone and that he will get help to me. ¡°What is your boy toy going to do?¡± Mark asks. ¡°He is not even here.¡± ¡°You know what, Mark, the best thing I ever did was getting as was away from you as possible.¡± He breaks down in godawfulughter that sends a chill to my bone, ¡°You are still mine bitch.¡± ¡°Fuck you.¡± Mark grabs me by my shirt and punches me in my face. He lifts his hand to punch me again, but someone grabs his hand. ¡°Get your filthy hands off her.¡± He spins around and looks at me in somewhat amusement, ¡°Oh, look, you are fucking an old man as well now.¡± ¡°Call her a whore one more time and see what happens.¡± I watch in absolute shock as John overpowers Mark. When John looks over at me, he sees what Mark has done to my face. He does not hesitate; he smashes his fist into Marks¡¯s jaw, you can hear something crack. He pulls back and connects his fist with Marks¡¯s cheekbone. The next punch breaks Mark¡¯s nose. John retracts once more, and I somehow know that he is not going to stop until Mark is lying on the floor. ¡°John, please stop; he is not worth it.¡± ¡°Ana, the fucking asshole hit you.¡± ¡°Ah,¡± Mark starts to speak once again, not knowing who John is at all. ¡°Isn¡¯t this sweet? You are cheating on your boy toy as well.¡±All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. John elbows Mark in his face, and his nose starts bleeding. Just then, the Pendleton police step in and m a pair of handcuffs on Mark¡¯s wrists. ¡°Nice going whore, you fucking bitch.¡± With that, John hits Mark with a perfect under, and he falls to a sack of shit to the floor. Then my phone starts to vibrate frantically in my pocket. It is Ethan, I know he might be mad at me still, but right now, I am so damn happy to see his name pop up on my screen. Pushing the tears back as best as possible, I answer; he does not even give me a minute to speak. ¡°Fuck boo, I am so sorry. Are you okay?¡± ¡°I am, thanks to your dad. The old man can throw a mean punch.¡± I hear his sweetughtere through the phone as relief sets over his body. He takes a deep breath, and a serious tone sets into his voice. ¡°Please let us never fight again.¡± Chapter 74 Anything But Routine Today my old squad led under Gibbs now, are making our way into the city. Routine run, nothing too serious to worry about. We do not foresee any resistance, only a lot of stranded civilians. Now there is the majority of the boys that are finding this unnerving due to the amount of Marines that have been killed recently. My advice, keep your head in the game; when they get confronted, then we deal with it then. No need to foreseeing the worse if it is not going to happen. So after we have geared up, we get into the Humvee and make our way away from the camp towards the city. It is ominous; the ck smokey thick from the tires that have been burnt. The roan seems eerily quiet with not a lot of civilians around. This is going to be a quick run-through, and then we are out again ¡­Ana POV¡­ Ethan¡¯s old squad is going out today, and, as with Ethan, he has gone out with them. Now I wish that he did not do it. At least he was honest in telling me that he would. Now to say that I am not a ball of nerves would be a lie. The man is making me stress beyond what my mind can take. Another one just as nervous is his mom; she has not stopped baking shit. I guess that is her way of coping with stress, well, I do not mind, for she does make a mean batch of brownies. Something Ipletely used to heart for, I found it way too sweet. Now, I am eating them for breakfast. As for John, the man is sitting peacefully reading his paper. I will forever be in his debt for saving me the way he did, and I can dly say that Mark is finding himself in a military prison from which he will not see the daylight soon. And as for the baby, she makes me awfully sick while I am trying to stay up and worry about her father. If I can honestly say, both of them are making me sick. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ We have just entered into town, and it is dead quiet; we have, thank god, been told which areas to avoid for mines. We are only looking for any resistance; if so, we have been instructed to take them out. What makes this so difficult to do, is that you will find a gun in the hand of the least unexpected person. And that is when you are faced with a decision that can bring you great difficulty. Any Marine, and as with any Soldier, it is a decision that you will never have to face. So the n is, Lewis and Williams shall stay in the Humvee, while the rest of the squad shall make it out on foot scouring between the buildings.N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. As we make our way into an old building with walls that are crumbling down, there is only but mere trash scattered inside. Most probably from kids that y in these deserted buildings. Think nothing of it further; we move into a far more solid building; as the Gnd and Mathews take a position on the side, the rest of the men filter into the building, checking every room. Once satisfied, I firmly state, ¡°Clear.¡± Then¡­ ¡­Ana POV¡­ How long do these damn missions take? I should know, but for the life of me, everything that I know about the Marines has left the knowledge of my mind. He said he would phone me the minute he gets back. Why is he not calling back? I am going to go stark mad here. Then Mary hands me a cup of warm cocoa, ¡°He will be fine, Ana;e sit down before you pass out from worry.¡± ¡°Mary, this is so much different than Korea, he only went out twice to another camp, and they were the only militia. This is so far worse; they are in the city between those buildings; you never know where they can be hiding. You are a target waiting to happen. God forbid I¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t even go there. Don¡¯t think that way. Ethan is a good Marine, and he has a bunch of solid boys around him.¡± ¡°Oh, Mary, I know, but it still can¡¯t help me worry. I just wish he would not go out.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t stop Ethan; the boy is always trying to push himself to a limit. He will be fine.¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ We are moving across the road to a fairly new building that does not have been ravaged as badly by the bombings. There are no windows on the ground floor, so there is no way for us to see inside. This is blind. This is dangerous. Do we skip and push forward? No, we search every building on the stretch that we have been told toe clear. So once again, as before, two men take a position on the sides of the door. I signal for two men to fall in, clear, then two more signaled to move even further past their side. And this is how we clear every room on the bottom floor. As we slowly scrunch down to ascend the stairs, Gibbs halts us to stop. For a few seconds, we stand motionless in fears Then we enter a room on the first floor, in clear sight of the Humvee. It seems oddly strange; it seems that there have been kids ying among here too. There are bricks stacked to sit on around what could possibly have been a fire. Several wrappers of chocte bars are strewn all over. But what strikes me odd is a clip lying near the window. That is when it hits me. ¡°Fall back, fall back.¡± ¡­Isabell POV¡­ Mary is telling me that I am driving her crazy; yes, I am fully aware that I am. It is just; I have this horrible feeling which I knew I should not have. I am seeing the worse ying off in my mind. I can see Ethan being taken hostage by some awful man. I should not think about it; I should not even have the thought enter my mind. But I can help to remember the look on his face when he told us all about Johnny that day when Maggie made such a spectacle about the interview they had. That, and probably when he heard I was pregnant, must be the most fear I have seen in his face. Now, as with then, he has the life of a whole squad in his hands. I know he shall do anything to protect me. As I take a very much needed seat next to John, he only but ces one hand on top of mine, ¡°The boy is okay. Even if he was not, he knows how to get himself out of it. Don¡¯t you worry, I will kick his ass if he messed around down there?¡± ¡°John, he is too stubborn.¡± ¡°Yes, I would love to say that ites from me, but that is all Mary¡¯s fault.¡± Just as the words escape from John¡¯s mouth, Mary flies in with a p against his head. I nearly topple over withughter, ¡°Now I see where the boys get their pping thing from.¡± We allugh, and just for a moment, we forget about the danger that Ethan is in. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ We have fallen into a trap. I don¡¯t know where, but I am sure we are about to find out, but they will soone from their hiding ce. They much have seen the Humvee from here as we started to clear the building, and of course, they knew we would enter theirs. There is a horrified but now very determined will to not only be a Marine but also for survival. The problem is, it is easy to fall back, but to what do we fall back into. After we are sure, the room is cleared. I start scanning for a way out of here. There is no way but the door. We are going in blindly. Gibbs taking the lead, followed by me, exit the room again; there is a set of stairs leading to the next floor. Do we go up? Or go down where we know, but not truly, it is clear. Are we going to run away like cowards or take them head-on? I look at Gibbs as he stares back at me. He only but nods his head, and I nod mine in return. We signal for the boys to pair up and stay close together. We shall check the remainder of the rooms on this floor; there is no way that I am splitting anyone up. We are far weaker if we are only in groups of two. No man is getting hurt today; no man will be put in a deliberate line of danger. We will find these assholes, and when we do, we will take them out. Then we make our way upstairs. Chapter 75 Taken Prisoner We have juste to realize that we have been ambushed. Clearing the first and the second floor has found us peace that they are not hidden behind any of the walls or, as some of the daring ones will do, in a nearby closet. These buildings, even this one, which is a bit more modern, they all have their own creek and cracking sounds. If some asshole on the very far side of the third floor opens a door, we are for sure certain to know about it.This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. So we are making the way upstairs slow and steady. Make one wrong move, and it just might be the end of you. It is you or the man on the other side of the gun; no time for hesitation. If you want to make it alive out of this building today, you should be alert, and you should not falter. I can see the steady tremble in the hands of some of the guys; of course, it is fine to be scared. But you should not let that make you lose sight of the task at hand. So we crawl, if I even dare say so, up the stairs. Much to my horror, as we get to the top, the floor splits to the left and the right. Now, do we all go in one direction and stand a chance to be overpowered, or do we split up? As I look at Gibbs, I do see the same fear that such a decision holds. The man is the best for the job, but it does not matter how good you are; you still have the life of thirteen other men in your hand. One wrong decision can make or break you. So as he is staring at me for the brief seconds that we are really taking too long to have. We decide to split up, I take four Marines with him, and the other four goes with him. With a fist pump and a load of determination we slowly, slide our way along the wall to the very first room. Mathews covers the door on the left, and I am on the right; as soon as I am confident that we have not been seen, the rest of the men filter inside. Once we have cleared the room, we step out into the hallway and creep up in silence to the next one. We immediately spill inside as we can confidently say it is clear. And this we do with one¡­two¡­three more rooms. But then we hear a scuffle inside the fourth one as we are approaching. Mathews signals for them to halt and listen. It is the deep voices of a man. It is definitely not children. We know that the very minute we are going to step through that door, all hell is going to break loose. What kind of hell we do not know. We also do not know how many of them are inside. It would be silly to think that they are not armed, for the very clip downstairs proves us otherwise. So we wait for several moments; we are certain that they have note to know about our presence outside the room. With our luck, they have their weapons not ready to draw. Fuck, this is one of the things that scares me the most, but in the very same breath, the adrenaline that pumps through your veins can be somewhat addictive. With this, I will head in first; I am not allowing any of my men to be short first because I am the coward that does not take the lead. So once again, as before. Three¡­two¡­one. I burst through the door with only one thing in mind. Take the enemy out. I do not falter for one second, yet I do need to know that I am not shooting at children. After making eye contact, I can confidently say the man in an dark green army uniform is part of the resistance. Iy my finger against the trigger, and with one flick, I pull it back. As in absolute slow motion, I feel the bullet travel through the barrel, the gun jerks as it makes an exit, it elegantly travels through the air, then there is one loud thud as the man drops like a sack of shit to the floor. Immediately the rest of them are taken down one by one. As we, and not that I am saying that it is proudly, but as we im defeat, we feel far more at ease to clear the remainder of the floor. With the utmost relief, we havee out of this one totally unscathed. Then only in mere minutes, Gibbs returns with his team, very much with the sense of victory under their belts. The rest of our mission goes by without any incident, and soon we are finding ourselves going back to camp in a far too rxed mood. Yet this time, we have earned it. Tomorrow wee out, and we are doing the very same thing again. Although I do know that I truly should not, I am still going to do what my passion is, and that is to rid, and that is such a hard word to say, but there needs to be someone that will take responsibility to make the lives safe of civilians stuck in a war that is not theirs. The very moment I get back to camp, the very first thing I do is go to phone Ana, fuck the celebrations; I think the woman must be terrified shitless by now. And it does not even take her three seconds, and she is screaming, not talking, but very much screaming at me through the phone. ¡°Dammit, soldier, why were you taking so long?¡± Now should I lie to the poor woman that seems like she is going to have a near close heart attack? Then again, she knows the men, and someone will be bound to tell her of the exciting day we had. ¡°I killed a man.¡± ¡°What,¡± her screeching voicees through the phone. ¡°You did what?¡± ¡°I killed a man.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think I heard you right. What the fuck did you do?¡± ¡°I killed a man.¡± ¡°Just like that? Just so casually.¡± I softly chuckle at her, it probably has not sunk in yet that that it was a man that would have killed me, but I patiently wait for her to catch up to her own thought. Then¡­WHAM ¡°What? You were in danger. You had to kill someone that was going to kill you.¡± ¡°Boo, that is generally how it works.¡± ¡°Soldier, this is not funny.¡± ¡°Oh, boo, I love how innocent you are. You know this is bound to happen. Now stop giving me grief and tell me how you are doing.¡± ¡°Absolutely fantastic. My ass is going to get as big as a bus because your mom cannot stop making those damn brownies.¡± ¡°You say as big as a bus?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you dare go and make a joke about it now?¡± ¡°Okay, so the baby is still okay.¡± Then out of nowhere, sheughs at me so loud that I have to hold the phone away from my ear. But I must honestly say that it is aughter that I am already missing so much. I hate that I am apart from here now, but yet I am also happy that I am here. ¡°Soldier, do you only phone for the baby or for me too?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think I should answer that.¡± ¡°Your ass is going to get as big as a bus when you get back here.¡± ¡°Talking about back, I need to get back for the briefing. I will phone you tomorrow again before we go out.¡± ¡°What? Again?¡± ¡°Yes, boo, but we can talk about itter.¡± Once I send my kisses goodbye, I drop the call before she can start questioning about my need to go out. She hates every moment of it; I know what a ball of nerves she must be. It is so bad for the baby, well that is what they tell me. Lewis has been telling me all these things about babies, and of course, the birth, which I have already decided I am going to faint. So pushing all this aside, for now, I need to get back to being a Marine. As I find my way to the battle ops tent, Lopez is already there waiting for me. He gives me one pat on the back, perhaps a second that is way too hard, and that is done with the purpose to hurt. ¡°Well done, Hunter.¡± ¡°Ah, it was easy. I did expect us to find any resistance, but we handled it fairly well.¡± ¡°Well, you shall then be pleased to know that the boys, and it probably means you too, you will go to a far bigger danger zone. We have had intel that civilians are being ughtered. There is a new group that has moved into the area. They have already killed a few of our Marines.¡± Chapter 76 No Time For Failure Today we are getting ready to go out again. This time it is going to be somewhat more dangerous than we had yesterday. When the words like ¡®Marines being killed¡¯ is said in the same sentence of today¡¯s mission, it does seem to bring out some sense of dread out of you. But we do now show fear. We do not falter. We are Marines, we do not lose. There is not one word spoken as we set off in the Humvee to a part of Fallujah. Gibbs is especially gone nervous, he has not even blinked an eye. I think the poor man is terrified beyond tomorrow. How do you reassure a man that everything shall be okay when you have no idea of knowing it yourself? But I know that he is strong and that there is nothing that will break him down. Yes, there is only one thing that he cannot see past at a time like this, is us being taken hostage before. The word kill Marines has the same affect as what it has on the rest of the squad. So all I can do is but put my hand on his shoulder and give him the silent reassurance that all shall be fine. It has been five minutes since our departure. Five minutes taken too long already. In an out. That should be fairly easy. Take no prisoner, leave no one alive. Protect the civilians and make sure se clear every building as we are trained to do. The hearts are beating and pumping the adreline at a steay pace. A steady pace three fractions to fast. Three factions that has you on the edge of you toes. And that is were you should be. Alert and pumped up. This is what our training leads us up to. Not the missions where you can sit back easily saying that, hey, look what I have done. No, these ones will take every skill you have and put it into action. I, as I promised, never spoke to Ana this morning. So I do not only feel a sense of dread, but I am feeling regret. I broke a promise and she is now probably beyond herself with worry. I can see her phoning Lopez if she had his number. But there is no time for clouding your head, I need be alert. Distracting is what makes you part of these marines that have been killed here. Not that I am saying it is distraction that met their untimely fate, for the resistence here is savage. It has now been fifteen minutes since our departure, we are set to arrive in another ten. The mood in the Humvee is building up to a steady pace of readiness. Gibbs is motivating them, not with some stupid speech of you can do it, but singing some Marine song to set the sense of purpose and pride back into our minds. The man is damn clever if I may say so myself. I never anticipated to go on such a mission so soon, so motivating myself is what drives me to be a Marine with half a leg. I can now, feel the pain that shoots through my leg as the horror of that date run through my body. I should not feel this way. I should not think of what was and for it to interfere with what is. So I do as the rest of the squad and find myself singing to the very song. It has now been twenty-five minutes since our departure and it has be our arrival. As before, Lewis and Williams will stay close by with the Humvee. At this stage there is no splitting up in two groups. One sniper shall remain with the Humvee as well. And then we set our feet outside into what is absolute chaos. The weather has not yed much as a friend to us, so we find a great deal of mud. Mud is not what you want. Not what you want when you run. You can not slip, that one second too long that you stand on the floor might be that one second that you do not have. So we find ourselves under the cover of two buildings preparing our n of how we shall proceed. The main concern shall be your building that has not been crumbling down. And those buildings are the ones that shall have windows where you at least suspect them. It has been five minutes since we set our foot on hostile ground. We are making entry into a building that has been so blown away that there is only but a few windows and one floor remain. Easy? Don¡¯t ever think that anything is easy until you have actually done it. So we make our entry through the back door and in one¡­two¡­we are clear. We abaondon this building for the one that is next door, it is new, it is all in tact. And that there is our first two problems. We step through the back door. Scan the entrance way and head in further teaming up two by two, clearing each room as theye up to the right. Fairly easy? No, for in one¡­two¡­we enter a room where there is a clear scuffle. If check my gun and proceed to life it to eye level as I enter under the cover of Matthew. Then as I turn to look behind the door. I am faced with them. The first feelinging through my mind. Are they hostile? It has been fifteen minutes that we set foot on hostile ground. We have entered a building and a room that is not clear. I am have four sets of eye staring me in such a way that I am not sure if they are terrified or relieved. I have infront of me two boys that I can guess are not even older than sixteen. Do they have guns? I scan their body and the surrounds. Nothing. ????? ?? ????? No aswer, perhaps I am not saying it well, butst time I checked my Persian was pretty well. I wait for several seconds, now what do we do with two kids that are clearly not supposed to be here? Well we cannot be babysitters. ?? ????? ??? ????? With that I see them quickly run out of the building, hoping that they shall be fine, thinking nothing more about it. It has been twenty-five minutes since we set foot on hostile ground. We have cleared three buildings and are making out way up the fairly deserted road with ease. Yet, an easy that one should not feel. We soon find ourselves entering thest builing in this street, in fact, the very same direction the two boys made their way into. We once again. As by the book. No falter. No fail. We once again, swiftly and withplete thoroughness clear the first floor, then we do the very much same with the second one as well. They guys are starting to feel a lot less tense, which in first ce is a mistake. Never think that you can ease your mind and rx your body. You be sloppy and you be dangerous. A weak link in the chain bring the rest of us down. It has been twenty-five mines and ticking towards another five in a rapid pace, we find ourselves entering the veryst of the room. As I filter in first to clear, there I find the boys standing again.This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ??? ???? ??? ???? The guys that enter the room behind me. Mistake one, they ease into the fact that it is only two kids. Mistake two, they lower there weapons. Mistake three, they turn their backs on the door. In only but¡­one¡­two¡­three there is a voice thates through the doorway, in an absolute instant I, as with the rest of the squad now that it is not one of ours. With that, a group of five men enter in the room. Dressed inplete green mtry uniform, they have their guns directed in our line of sight. The biggest man, who I believe must be the leader, pat the boys on the bank and thank them for a job well done. Well I am gessing that meeting the two boys was merely not just fate. With that, two mene to tie take our weapons away, while another two tie our hands behind our backs. They are not being gently. They are doing this with atmost force. Much to my horror, Mathews makes a grunt at how roughly the man is tying his hand behind his back. In an instant, the leader smashed his gun against his face, leaving him with a gashing wound. Both me and Gibbs turn to face the squad and by just a mere look in our eye, we instruct them not to say a single word no matter what happens. It has been five minutes since we have been taken captive. Chapter 77 Suffocated By Fear What defines fear? The feeling that grips your stomach, suffocates your lungs, and tears your heart will slow agony from your chest. What is fear for a Marine? The joke that you tell at night around the fire. It brings you only but a sense of what you truly are. You fight, and you fight to the end. But what is fear when you see it on the faces of the men that you vow to protect? It is a pain that rips your flesh from your body to an agonizingly slow pace. This is something that you do not foresee. You do not expect a child to lead you into the belly of a beast. You are trained to always be on alert. But when you are a man with a child or even one on the way, which most of us are, you do not expect to be deceived by one. We have been forced to sit down on our knees in front of what seems to be some of the most intimidating men that most of us have seen. What do I see them as? They are fools; they have no idea the error they have just brought onto themselves. But the question now remains what do they intend to do? It shall be their downfall even further as what it has be. And I think that I have yet asked too soon. Now, you are taught that you also do not say a single word when you find yourself captive. But, god, I am even afraid to say that there is a bit of Johnny in all these young boys. Gibbs that has been through this before, knows that only one thing is going to happen. He was the very man that had to bear witness to this thest fateful time. It has now been ten minutes since we have been taken captive. They have not yet made their move that we are anticipating. They are speaking Persian, which they foolishly think that none of us do understand. From what I can hear from their whispers, they have no idea what to do with us either. Well, they are as dumb as youe. But I have spoken yet too soon. The first man to go is Mathews; I see the terror flood his eyes like a rapid-fire. It feels that I have just hit an iceberg head-on, and I am slowly drowning. He cannot do this. He is an excellent Marine. But he cannot do this. In fact, no man in this room can do this. Even I, I cannot do it, not again. It has now been twenty minutes since we have been taken captive. Williams and Lewis would have by now realized that we are taking far too long. Let us hope that they do not enter the building themselves and rather radio for a second squad toe in. But then again, they know I like being thorough; it might take me up to ten minutes max to makepletely sure again. That in this side of Falluja is reckless. And reckless is about how they are going to get, or should I rather say ruthless. There is this incredible stench that finds itself lingering in this room. Now there is a very distinct difference between that of an animal and that of a human, and let me say that there have been no animals that have died in here recently. Have we perhapse across the group that is going about killing Marines. That I do not want to know. It has been half an hour since we have been taken captive. They have now taken Matthews much to the sensations of horror into the next room. You do find the incredible urge to cover your ears if they are going to torture him. But that shows weakness. No matter what move you make, weakness cannot be one of them. So as expect. There is a voice raised a pitch too high. Clear words are spoken. ¡°You are going to tell us where it is.¡± There is absolute silence. Yet more words are spoken. ¡°Do you want to die today? Tell us where it is.¡± What where is it? The base? They have two changes, shit to nothing. But do they care? No. Matthews will pay for his silence. Then. BANG. There is an echo of what is clearly I gunshot that echoes through the building. Terror sets in. Gibbs looks at me. I only but close my eyes for one brief second. This is not happening. Not again.Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. It has been forty minutes since we have been taken captive. As I y the echo of the gunshot through my head, I know that there is nothing I could have done. But then the man speaks again. ¡°Next time I shoot, it is for real. Tell me where it is.¡± Relief beyond anything one can imagine fills my being. But yet Matthews does not say a word. I hear the man say, ¡°Give me your knife.¡± God, there are so many things he can possibly use that for. A memory of having a knife driven into a leg that is already broken consumes my mind. This cannot happen to Matthews. This will not happen again. It is fifty minutes since we have been taken captive. The reality has set in. The man has now cut Mattews, where I do not know, but from the slight hitch in his voice, it must be bad. Then once again, ¡°Tell me where it is.¡± Then there is a loud thud, more like a snap, as he once again fires, this time though he has shot Matthews. Matthews, which one can truly understand, lets out a whimper of agony. Once again, that is not enough. Another shot rings through the air. To a frightening horror, he has once again shot Matthews again. I have now decided, my intention is clear. ??? ??? ??? ???? The man that has been guarding us while his boss has been ripped his ravage on Matthews looks at me somewhat in shock. But yet he does; he leaves the room with only one man and the rest of my squad with his gun shoved into my back. I briefly nce at Gibbs, and he knows what is about to happen. It is an hour since we have been taken captive. I am not doing everything that goes against the rules. I have done this before. Does this make me feel brave enough to do it again? Some would say foolish. I say honor, courage, andmitment, we live by these values. It is courage and themitment to my squad that shall make my choice to do this without hesitation. As I can to stand in front of this rather towering asshole, which is only but an inch of what I am. I look him straight into those empty merciless eyes. ?? ??? ?? There is a look of somewhat surprising on his goddamn ugly face as he watches me offer myself up for what he is yet to do to Matthews. He only butughs at me, ¡°Guess you both shall die today, and if you are any clever, you shall speak now and save your friends¡¯ lives.¡± But it falls onto death ears. He might as well be gargling on his words, for the only one leave here in a sack of shit shall be him. It is an hour and ten minutes since we have been taken captive. I have been tied up next to Matthews that is begging by the mere look in his eyes not to do it. And if eyes can speak for words, he knows the a inly refuse to listen to him. So it begins, as if the man is stuck on a record yer, ¡°Tell me where it is.¡± I look him square in the eye to taunt him; well, does he think I am half as stupid as he is? But he is not done, ¡°Tell me or I shoot your friend.¡± Yet, I still remain quiet. It has been an hour and twenty minutes since we have been taken captive. I have made one fatal mistake, I have underestimated the determination of a ruthless monster. I thought that if Ie and save Matthews from the torture that is yet toe, I have been sorely mistaken. The man tries to shoot me in my leg as he did with Matthews, but as it only makes the sound of metal against metal, his curiosity gets the better of him and he shows for the other man in the room to lift my pants. ¡°Well, look here, half a man.¡± Well, now believe me, that if you have determination behind you, it hurts like a bitch as he ms the grip of his gun repeatedly into the bottom of my stump. I grind my teeth in absolute pain but not once do I falter. It has been an hour and a half since we have been taken captive. I am sitting tied up to a chair, next to me is Matthews. We have been repeatedly asked to lead them to our camp. We do not give up. We will not give in. I, and so does Matthews, watch this man lift his gun and point it to our heads. Honor. Courage. Commitment. Then a loud bang. Chapter 78 One Second Makes A Difference I am sitting here slightly terrified if it is my life, Matthew or both that shall be taken today, that I really do not know. They say that you will see your life sh before your eyes when you are near about going to die. Well, I say it is bullshit. All I can see is an asshole shoving his gun before my eyes. I know that it is only but a matter of time before he is going to pull that trigger. And then it happens; it is as if you watch the entire worlde to a dead stop, his finger makes the agonizing flick near enough to a crawling pace. The click as the bullet enters the chamber gives you enough time to take your onest breath, and when you take that breath, you only have but one option and the is to close your eyes. You feel the incredible urge to try with thest fight in you to try to outsmart the skill he has behind that gun. Yet you can only but hope, then¡­ ¡°Get down!¡± As I open my eyes, I see Lopeze behind the man with the gun. With all the skill he possesses, he takes the man down even before the bulletes near the direction of our heads. Relief does note near enough to describe them saving our assess out of this situation. Luck, that damn well is. I hate even to think that if he was one minute toote, even perhaps only that few seconds, then the oue would have been different. But yet there is something I do want to know. ¡°Who was it?¡± I ask Lopez. ¡°Who was what?¡± ¡°The gun, whose head?¡± ¡°I am not telling you.¡± And with that, he leaves the room; he does not even need to tell me; it was written within his eyes. I don¡¯t know how Matthews would have taken such a thing, but I can say that I was at least there to see him through it until my end. So with that, we continue our way down the street. Do they honestly think that we will run away now and go hide in a corner until we think it is safe toe out? This only means that we have another squad, which will make us move even faster. As wee to the next set of buildings, we do not even need to enter to see that it is not empty. We are about to take fire head-on. Now the true missions start, you always, not that I am saying it is good to think this way, but you always want to get some action while you are out here. You get restless fingers, and the need to scratch an itch is truly there. And some scratching is about to take ce. My guess is that the gunfire has been heard until here, and this has led them to filter into the streets. Yes, we drove head-on into them, but seriously now, do you think for one second we are going to turn the Humvee around? Well, that shall only lead them to us, and a Marine fights until the end. Then I instantly see them disappear into the buildings. We don¡¯t exactly know where they are and how heavily armed they are; we need to move through this and take them out as we go. Matthews is by far the best shot from all the rookies, but he is still shaken up. Which means it only leaves Gibbs and me with the most experience. So at a toss of a coin, yes, by far crazy, but we toss to see who will be manning the machine gun. And of course, I have the greatest luck in the world, for unfortunately for Gibbs, mine falls on heads. So I get my footing right, and slowly, for I do not wish to have my head blown off before I even stick it out, I lift my body through the top and position the machine gun in hand. Now we wait for them to give up their location. It is not like I can just randomly shoot the buildings to pieces, though every desire in my body feels that I want to. With a crawling pace that even is slower than a second, we make our way down the street. We know it is only but a matter of time; they will want to get rid of us as fast and in as little time as possible. But we have a fairly good idea of which building they have gone into. And then it happens, there is a sudden round of shots directly aimed at me. I can hear them zing past my ear, but I cannot see where they areing front. I scan the building in front of me and those on the side. I do not have any sight of the enemy. Lopez that is next to us hase under fire himself. We are like a turkey sliding through Sunday roast, everyone wants the pickings, but they are too afraid toe forward. And somewhat awkwardly, they are trying to take out the tires, which only says to me that they are a bunch of idiots that was shoved with a gun in their hands and told to just to shoot. That is your most reckless enemy. Not only are they erratic, but most of all, they are the kind that does not have much to lose. As with a Marine, they will die until the end. Then another burst of rounds zings past my ears, beating hard into the armored steel. It sounds like loud snapping sounds; it is rather deafening and sends a chill up your spine. At any minute, if you just so must as move your head into the wrong angle, one of those snapping bullets will snap off the only brains that you have left. Why? Who sits in an armored vehicle and let people shoot at you so you can shoot them back. A Marine, of course. And just as I thought I am getting no action, god, that sounds awful, but just at I think we are going to sit here and stare into a building, there is a new round of shotsing from the building next to ours. I have a clear vision of them. I grab firmly onto the machine gun; with a rapid pumping action, I snap right back at them, but with a far brutal force that their guns can return. And it is that force that makes me take all four of them out. As I scan the rest of the building, I find another two peaking their way out from the bottom of the window, but before I eveny waste to them, I spot the sniper at the roof. Well, absolutely fantastic, the only thing that sets me at unease is a sniper. Their precision is sometimes very much unanticipated, the skill most of the time under judged. They are the worst kind of enemy that one can have and obviously the worst kind to take out. Which means I need to get out of here and let one of the snipers in my team take over. I will honestly say this is one thing that I am not good at. So drop down into the Humvee and let Johnson take control. As I look at the men around me, I can see they are eager to get out there, but I do not yet feel safe to let them out on foot. They shall just have to hang in for a few more minutes. With this in mind, I radio to Lopez which has been able to control things on their side. The fire stopped, and he is pretty confident that he can also let the guys go out on foot. Now it is with absolute anticipation that we wait for Johnson to take his target out, but he has just let us know that the guy is no longer there. He must have moved will we have changed ces. This is a big fuck up. Now we are really that sitting duck. If we continue to move further down the road, we get out the fire, but we do not clear the building or the enemy that finds themselves in there. And it might just be this enemy that will take the lives of a bunch of civilians. Or do I even need to mention the Marines and other soldiers that are held at the base? With thates the newfound urgency to get this job done and to get out of here. We have been out here for far too long. We need to move, but next, wee under fire, and you can hear the bullets hit like hail against the sides of the Humvee. With a jerk of the machine gun, Johnsonughs and starts his own round of rapid-fire, which instantly stops every other bullet hitting the skin of the Humvee.N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. But next, with a rather nervous and hollering voice, he shouts the one word that you do not ever want to hear. ¡°Iing.¡± Chapter 79 Incoming Iing. A word that no man, whether you are in the Army, the Navy, or the Marines, you do not want to hear it. We areing under the fire of a grenadeuncher. The impact is going to be hard and most certainly cause damage. So each man needs to brace themselves while Johnson tries to take the asshole with the grenadeuncher out. But to no avail, we are taking on fire, and it is rapid. The impact is far greater than anticipated. I can hear Johnson frantically pump the machine gun. He curses as he fails to take the man out. Out of instinct, I pull him down and take his ce. It is a full out warzone as I peek my head through the roof. The only thing that I can see is the dust from the building as ites apart from where Lopez is shooting. The man with theuncher is under cover of the thick smoke and dust. There is no way to even guess where the fire ising from. I go in blindly; I grip to hold, and in a line of bullets flying, Iy waste to each floor as I go. Covering windows. Covering the roof. Scanning the ground. Looking down the street. Nothing. But nothing will remain alive. Yet the fire keeps oning. But then it is when it hits me, we are firing into the wrong building. I change my focus to the building to the far side right, and there he is, very confident that he has not been seen yet. So as I aim for him, there is fireing from behind us. Lopez has to change his focus, leaving us under far more fire than we can take. We need a miracle. I cannot be in two spots at the same time. Should I take my focus off the left for but a second, then the right will take me apart. It is a mess, and it is a messy decision that I need to make. So I focus on the right, with any utmost determination, I set to rip him, and his little toy apart, of which I say he doesck the skill to use for he should have by nowpletely ovee us. With great intent and urgency to keep us intact, I once again realize another fatal mistake, and that is what is about to be the true thing that is iing. Ites even faster, and ites even with great force. I see the front of a missile gun; I see the fire igniting as it leaves the barrel. With what is almost the slowest, but actually the fastest speed, I watch as the missile travel with perfect precision through the air, and BANG. We are hit straight on. The Humvee lifts in the air and drops down with a shattering thud. My body is flung from one side to the other. We have taken on too much fire, and we need to abort; we need to get out. But we are in the middle of a raging fire. We still need to get out. We need to fall back. Lopez needs to get us out, or none of us are making it out here alive. But dammit, how the fuck do we fit with another group of men in there? It is not going to happen. This will need to happen on foot. We need to wait for back up toe. We are sitting ducks, and the ones that are not in the pond lurked with danger. So it is the hardest decision that we need to do. ¡°Abort.¡± And it cannote soon enough. ¡°Abort! Abort!¡± The second that I set my feet on the ground, the next missile flips the Humvee in the air, and ites down with a big me crashing to the floor. We take cover behind Lopez, where he has managed to clear all the buildings. The fear and yet the anticipation of action sets in over the group of me. They havee here to do this. This is the moment that they are trained for. We need to keep each other standing and save until back up arrives. And this is when all hell breakspletely loose. It seems that this is the moment that they have been waiting for. This is what they have nned. Us in the open, us an easy target. With the cover of the Humvee, we split off to take both sides and the top. Gibbs is taking fire from the top. While I am on the right side with Johnson and Lewis with Williams on the left. It is absolute chaos. Just as we think that we are clear, then the next roundes buzzing over my head. I can see that Johnson is loving every single moment of it, but as I look to Lewis, he seems to be somewhat shaken up still. ¡°Lewis, hold it together.¡± He only but screams back to me, ¡°Yes, Lieutenant, Sir.¡± I, for some odd reason,ugh, which is the most inappropriate thing at this very time. With this, I look up at Gibbs, ¡°How are you holding up over there.¡± ¡°Fucking peachy.¡± Ya¡­the boys are pumped. We all need a damn beer once this is done. But then, just as I think that we are all keeping our sides, Gibbses under fire with what seems to be another group of men. In absolute slow motion, beyond anything that I could have ever imagine, I see Gibbs jerk back and crash to the floor. He has been shot. I immediately abort my side and hunch my way over to him where he has fallen into the line of sight. I pull him back to the Humvee, try to assess the extent of his wounds. But there is so much damn blood that it is truly impossible to see without taking his gear off. But the most frightening thing is that his eyes are closed, and he does not seem to move. I shake him frantically to get any reaction out of him but to no avail. He is lyingpletely unresponsive. As I stick my hand underneath his shirt to feel where the impact of the bullet has taken him, I get to arge mass of blood by his stomach. ¡°Fuck!¡± I start furiously shaking him, ¡°Gibbs, wake the fuck up! Gibbs!¡± Yet, there is still no response. I cannot feel his goddamn pulse as my hands are still trembling from the fire. And as for listening to his breathing, well, that is pretty useless under this chaos. ¡°Fuck Gibbs. Wake up!¡± Still not a single movement. ¡°You are not fucking going anywhere. Get that ass up!¡± Nothing at all. I shout to Lopez to take him over inside and radio to hear when help will be arriving.Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°ETA is five minutes,¡± he confirms with me. ¡°We don¡¯t have five minutes; we need to get Gibbs out of here now.¡± He yet again goes on the radio, and with must damn relief, I see theming up from the end of the road. But much to my further annoyance, they take an incredibly slow pace. Well, not today. ¡°Lopez, tell them to pick up the damn pace.¡± As I look down the road, they are upon us within less than a minute. Still under the cover of Lopez, we all filter inside the armored vehicle. This fight is not over, for today it is; we wille back and finish what we have started when they least expect it. But now, we need to get Gibbs back to camp. It takes us little under half an hour, which Gibbs does not have, yet though I have no idea of the extent of his injuries. But we find ourselves gliding to a halt as we get him out of Lopez¡¯s Humvee. The sight of his body motionless shocks an incredible pain to my core. I have to keep myposure not to burst out in tears. The man is not looking well. I fear, but do not even want to say that it, that he might not have made it. So as we take him into the nurse¡¯s tent, we all huddle around his bed while the doctor assesses his wounds. But much to our frustration, she tells us to leave as we are making her feel ufortable and intimidated. Well, guess what? I do not give a fuck. I stay, and I wait. I watch as she takes his shirt off to reveal just as I suspected. He has been hit in the stomach. And my god, it looks bad. I swallow really hard and try to get my words out as calmly as possible, but I do believe that I fail. She ces her hand on my shoulder and looks at me with genuinepassion in her eyes. ¡°I promise you that I will do everything I can.¡± It does not reassure me; I take her hand from my shoulders and stare back into her eyes, ¡°Then fucking start.¡± Chapter 80 Dancing With A Reaper I have put Gibbs into danger; the very thing I was protecting him from has now threatened to take his life. My decisions were reckless and it has left a man lying on a bed fighting for his life. If anything bad has to happen to him, then I shall simply just fall into shattering pieces to the floor. He was there for me when life threatened to take my light away and I shall be there for him. The doctor has just finished operating, and he is lyingpletely motionless. I have been the only one allowed to sit by his side, even if I was not, I would have still do it. I will not allow a fellow Marine but, most of all, a friend toy here all on his own. As I watch his frail body lying tucked underneath the white sheets, he looks calm, too calm. I cannot help but move my ear to his mouth to listen to his breath, he is still breathing. Itforts me for just one moment. What else doesfort me is that wherever he is, that he knows that I am here for him. That the squad is here for him. He cannot and he will not leave any man behind, he cannot leave us behind. With this strong in my heart, I lean further into his ear and softly whisper for only him to hear, ¡°You are fucking going nowhere. Do you understand me?¡± But then as I order him that he shall not leave us behind, I think to myself, did my orders not go too far? Did I not push the boys too far? Maybe we should havee back after they took us a prisoner. Was that not a good time to realize the it is not safe to be out there? But he knows the risks thate with the job, though should that be afort whan you are lying on a bed fighting for your life? And fight I know he is going to do, he will fight with everyst bone that he has in his body and even beyond that he will fight some more. So this is where I sit, I sit with him and yes, a big old Marine, is sitting and holding the hand of another. They will have to carry me out on this chair if they want me to leave, and even after then I will stille back. Then a short whileter, I hear Lewis at the entrance of the tent calling for me. ¡°Liteaunent.¡± ¡°Yes, Lewis?¡± ¡°Can I offer you a bottle of water?¡± ¡°Of course,e in side.¡± Lewis, whom I am going to assume has not seen this type of scene, reluctantlyes to sit next to me. He turns even paler than Gibbs, but yet he holds a strong face. The boy is good and he is going to be a great Marine one day. But he also has the biggest heart in the squad. I see that he is studying my face, which has not emotion whatsoever, ¡°Liteunant.¡± ¡°Yes, Lewis?¡± ¡°How can you remain so calm? I would be going beside myself.¡± ¡°For one, you need to show strength, and two, Gibbs would not want you to lose your head over something he knows that he is going to ovee.¡± ¡°If I may ask. How do we know for certain?¡± ¡°We don¡¯t. But what we have that none of those assholes have is faith. Not only in ourselves but in each other.¡± ¡°Well then I will have some extra faith just for him. But I need to get back, Lopez is going back out.¡± ¡°Oh, really?¡± ¡°Yes, he says that it has now be personal. As he says and eye for an eye, but even better a bullet for a bullet.¡± ¡°Tell him I send my luck, I am staying out for this one.¡± With that, Lewis leaves the tent, putting some newfound faith that I thought I wascking back in this fight. This is a battle, a whole new battle. And this is one that we will win. I met Gibbs when we joined the Marines at the age of eighteen. To say that we were a little lost and scared was an understatement. We both decided from the beginning that will go through everything together. We refused to split up, we practically, much to the joke of the rest of the toon, joined by the hip. He had my back and I most certainly had his. We went from being shot, stabbed, taken hostage, and even blown up together. There was absolutely nothing that we would not do for each other. And he proved that the day he carried me out of that building and made hismitment even more clear to me as he stayed by his bedside. So does this constitute as paying a due? No. This is a friend. A concept that very few seem to understand. Yes, we all are like brothers around here, but there is that one person that just makes you feel an extra closer bond with. A bond that is not about to be broken. And yet another man that I have grown a bond with is Williams; he is the very man standing at the door and has been standing there since we brought him in. The three of us made the unstoppable team that we are known for around here. If this is killing someone, it is killing him just as hard. He deserves to be here. ¡°Hey, I know you are hovering there,e in before you kill yourself with frustration.¡± ¡°You sure, the nurse is not going to throw me out?¡± ¡°God, I am going to throw her out. Nowe before I change my mind.¡± With very small hesitant steps, hees and pulls up a chair on the otherside of Gibbs¡¯s bed. I can see that his eyes are puffy from crying, which does exin why he is hiding out be the tent as well. One thing a Marine does is you do not cry; it is a weakness. Yes, it is good to cleanse your soul and clear your mind, but it is bad when you have to show your face to the world. Once he is able to speak, he clears his throat, ¡°Is our boy going to get through this one?¡± ¡°He will, I don¡¯t think for one minute that he will give up. Yet, and I think I have said this so many times too often, this is what happens under my leadership. It happened before and it has happened again.¡± ¡°Come on, listen to yourself. You cannot decide for those assholes, if they decide to do the shit they did today, then they are going to. It has nothing to do with what you say.¡± ¡°But that is where you are wrong. He should not have been up there.¡± ¡°Okay, then who? Someone had to be up there. It is just how it works.¡± ¡°It should not be.¡± ¡°Listen, we know what we signed up for when we were kids; this was something that we wanted to do. There is always going to be the risk.¡± I know that he is right. But this is not about me; this is about Gibbs. The man that is normally big ass and strong, the man thatys here with what seems to be but a mere shadow of himself. A shadow that will be a light.This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. And as I look up at the clock, I know that the start to the countdown has begun. Not the countdown of staring death in the eyes, but the countdown until he is going to open his eyes. And believe me, once he does, I am punching him in the fucking face for scaring the shit out of me. With not really caring for much, I take his hand into my own. Now, if I thought he would be warm to the touch, I have just been sadly mistaken. He is and has somewhat less color on his skin. Once again, I put my ear closer to where he is lying to heat the faintest of his breath. He is still breathing. It is shallow, but it is still there. Yes the machine will tell me, but I do not trust anything that is beeping in my ears. Another thing that also scares the shit out of me is the tubes and needles that are just flowing from his body. I think the only reason it scares me is that I have been here before and I do not want Gibbs to be there. And from across me sits Williams, somewhat nervous to hold Gibbs¡¯s hand; he only but sits there and waits. That man is not moving until you make him move, and so is this man. Right now, Gibbs needs friends, not Marines, and we are the only two that he has got. So we prepare ourselves that will be the longest wait of our lives. Now, now all I can do is just wait¡­ Chapter 81 One Man Knows It All It has been an endless wait. Gibbs has note to yet, to say that my nerves are not killing me would be such a lie. I am being tormented by thoughts that should not be running through my mind. Williams, who is still very much here and much to the annoyance of the doctor, refusing to move. She is yet to see the determination of a Marine. But is it a determination that is beginning to falter? No. What is beginning to falter is that I have not phoned Ana as I told her I would. I am sure the woman is beside herself. So it is very reluctantly that I step away from Gibbs¡¯s side to go call her. Though before I can even think of swiping up and dialing her number, I need to gather myposure. She cannot hear that I am falling apart, not truly falling apart, but my mind is not where it should be. So I take one ratherrge deep breath and count down from ten. As soon I have gotten a grip on myself, I swipe to find her number. And let me tell you, that phone is practically answered in an instant. ¡°My god, soldier, are you okay?¡± As I try to speak, my voice starts to tremble beyond my control. Why can I not get a hold of my emotions? I am looking weak; I am not weak. I need to not only be strong for myself but for Gibbs too. So I bite into my lip and start again. ¡°Sorry boo, it was crazy out there. We ran into far more trouble than we anticipated.¡± I hear her gasp, and she stutters to find the words herself, ¡°What do you mean trouble?¡± Well, now do I lie to my soon to be wife, or do I scare the living shit out of her? Let¡¯s opt for telling the truth, for I would be dead if she finds out that I have been lying to her. ¡°Well, we sort of maybe, perhaps got taken, hostage.¡±This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°What!¡± I pull the phone away from my ear as I hear her scream rather loudly. ¡°You were what?¡± ¡°We got ambushed and were taken, hostage.¡± ¡°My god! Okay, if you are talking to me, then it means that everyone is fine?¡± ¡°Yes, sort of.¡± She starts to mumble at herself, cursing, and I know that she is grinding her teeth taken by the muffling soundsing through the phone, ¡°Okay, please exin the sort of.¡± ¡°Well, we did note back to base.¡± ¡°Are you fucking crazy? Why?¡± ¡°We were not done clearing the area.¡± ¡°Have you ever heard of going back?¡± Yes, now I have to exin to her that we did, in fact, go back but only after a rather fucked up situation where a Marine is no fighting for his life. There is truly no way to exin it; there is no way to sugar-coat something that you cannot even dare to speak about. ¡°We did go back.¡± ¡°So why are you not with them?¡± ¡°I am with Gibbs.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± she says, and I just know that she is frowning as she speaks. ¡°Why is Gibbs not out with the squad?¡± ¡°We came under fire further down the road.¡± Wait for it¡­ ¡°What! You got what? Please tell me everyone is still fine?¡± ¡°No,¡± I say as I try to hold back the tears. ¡°Gibbs was shot.¡± ¡°Fuck! is he okay?¡± ¡°No, he is still under.¡± Then I hear her anger turn intopassion; she knows what Gibbs means to me. She also knows that I am now probably ming myself for what has happened. If she only knew. If I could have taken his ce, I would have done it without even blinking once. ¡°Shit, soldier, are you okay?¡± ¡°Ya, maybe ask me once he hase to. Right now, I do not know if I am here or not. I am trying to keep it together, boo, but I just don¡¯t know how to. Maybe it was a bad idea for me to havee here. If I did not decide that we should push forward, then this would not have happened. ¡°Come on, don¡¯t do that. You know it is not your fault. You, of all people, should know that the enemy is brutal and savage. There is nothing that you did that made this happen. If it were not Gibbs, then it would have been someone else.¡± ¡°That is what Williams also says, but yet this shit should not happen.¡± Then she pauses for a second as if she has remembered something or there is a thought thates to mind, ¡°But you say they went back. Who went back?¡± ¡°Lopez, he has gone back to make sure that they are taken out.¡± ¡°Well, as they say, revenge is a bitch.¡± ¡°Boo, it is karma is a bitch.¡± I can hear herugh through the phone, and it just warms my heart. This is what I needed. She always knows how to make me feel better, even when she sometimes does not even know it. I cannot wait to get back home to marry this woman, but that apart, I need to get back to Gibbs. ¡°Boo, let me get back; I will try sneak another call inter to let you know how he is doing.¡± ¡°Okay, soldier. Talk to youter then.¡± ¡°Wait, how is the baby?¡± ¡°Making mommy sick.¡± I chuckle to myself as I remember her hunched over the toilet, definitely not a pretty sight. ¡°Soldier are youughing?¡± ¡°No, I would neverugh at you. How is mommy doing?¡± ¡°Mommy is getting fat.¡± That chuckle has now turned into a burst of softughter that I am not hiding very well. ¡°Now you are reallyughing at me.¡± ¡°I am notughing; I think it is cute.¡± ¡°Cute is my ass when it is going to look like a bus.¡± ¡°I hate to break it to you, but a big bottom is not pretty at all.¡± She grunts at me, I can hear she wants tough at my stupidment, yet she is trying topose herself pretty well. ¡°Soldier, get back to Gibbs.¡± ¡°Love you, boo.¡± ¡°Love you too.¡± With that, I drop my phone back onto my bag and make my way back to the nurse¡¯s tent. All the way that I am walking there, I try to clear my head and get myself back. I need to fight for this man when he can not fight for himself. But he can; what am I saying? I need to have faith in him. He is a goddamn Marine, we fight until the end, and the end is not here, not even by a long shot. So it is very refreshed and hyped up that I turn the corner to enter the tent. I see a very distressed Williams sitting and crying as not even a baby will. My immediate thought cripples my body, and I need to stop every part of me from caving in. I am dead scared to ask him what is wrong as he sits over Gibbs. I walk towards the bed and drop down onto the chair; with a loud roar that can be heard throughout the entire camp, I utter only two words. ¡°God no!¡± Williams looks at me, somewhat confused as he has now stopped crying; I shake my head at him in disbelief. ¡°What? What happened?¡± Just then, I feel the touch of a tender but very much manly hand wrap over mine. I ampletely scared into another dimension. Out of stupid reflex, I rip my hand away and nearly jump off from my chair. As I move my gaze to Gibbs, I see, with eyes that have grownrger than the water bottle that Williams is holding, that he has woken up. ¡°Fuck, Gibbs! Your dumb ass has finally decided to join us,¡± he tries his best not to burst withughter, but yet he does and cringes as the pain shoots through his body. Then I look at Williams, that has oddly started to cry once more, ¡°Why the fuck are you crying?¡± ¡°These are happy tears.¡± ¡°Damn, then I do not want to see your sad tears.¡± And just like that, my spirit is lifted; the man that is like a brother to me has pulled through this one. Guess faith is far more powerful than I thought, but yet again, it is not just faith; it is a bond that forces you to keep it strong. A bond that, no matter where you find yourself, it will keep on fighting to stay strong. So as the relief starts to calm our hearts, and we feel like we can once again breathe, ines a rookie from one of the other squads that did not go out with Lopez. He seems to be highly spooked and somewhat pale. All I can think to myself is, what the fuck has the man messed up now. But as hees to salute me and can barely utter his words, I know that it is not just some shit he has caused around the camp. ¡°Lieutenant, Sir.¡± ¡°Yes, soldier?¡± ¡°Lopez said we must take another squad out; they need back-up.¡± Chapter 82 A Big Mean Old Truck This is turning out to be a rather bigger battle than we thought we need to fight today. A routine mission has blown up into a full-on confrontation, which I believe has now taken on more power. Lopez is simply not able to keep them at bay, let alone get rid of the assholes. But it is not just Lopez that is out there; there are already two other squads involved in this. Now we, with me in charge of a squad that is not mine, and whom most of their names that I do not know, we are headed in Fallujah. Now, if I said that I am not petrified, I would be tantly lying. I have seen how dirty these assholes will y, but guess what? Marines like rolling in the mud. So we are soon going to line up to Lopez in three Stryker¡¯s, and boy, then it is game on. As we enter the bottom of the street, all you can see is smoke and dust flying. Visibility is absolutely zero at the moment, and there is no way of it improving anything soon. We are shooting in the dark, for whom this cover will count is yet to be seen. But I have eager Marines that are looking for some action, so not to draw much attention, we drop an extra squad that we managed to squash in on foot at the top of the street. My choice was very much divided here, do I go out or do I stay. Whichever way, the head of twenty-six men are mine to protect. Now let us not fuck this one up. So as I make my way up to Lopez, I am very much happy to announce my arrival, and man, is he d to see us. The boys have been going at this for over an hour, and they are starting to feel a bit on the drained side, yet they pushed forward. With the new firepower on their side, they seem much relieved, and I am hoping that somewhere in that one building, he is fucking scared. The man that shot Gibbs can only hope that he does not make it out of here alive, for I aming for you whether you are alive or not. But revengeester; there is a reason why I brought this big beauty out here, my mean ass fucking tank gun. Ya¡­it provides uracy, range, pration, and rapid fire in one package. And I am about to find my happy self behind it. This time there is absolutely no time for elegance; I slowly stick my head through with sturdy feet; I position half of my body and nt my ass down. I send the second and the third Stryker further down the road. We are finishing this now; there is noting back. Once in position, waiting on mymand, ¡°Oorah boys, let¡¯s make them eat dust..¡± From three to one second in little than an inch, I unleash the pure brutality of the tank gun. Splitting walls, shattering bricks, cracking the very foundations they are finding themselves on. Iy it all to waste in a line of rapid fire. Feeling the gun jolting my bones and the adrenaline pump through my veins, I get the wicked sense of satisfaction that revernge has been served, well, perhaps just like dumped. And that is us, bringing the building down to pieces, then the next one after that and yet after that. After a while, we sort of get the idea that we are now only doing target practice and not actually achiving anything anymore. So after what is easily another four hours, we confidently clear the area and head back to camp. Once we are back, I immediately bail to see Gibbs, which is just his same old self as he is trying to chat up the nurse. ¡°Hey, no flirting with the nurses.¡± ¡°Says him that is getting married to one.¡± ¡°Mine is different. It happened off base.¡± ¡°So mine is also different. We are not on base.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t get clever with me. How are you feeling?¡± ¡°Perfect, now can you get me out of here.¡± I burst outughing; I know he already has restless bones. Believe me; I had to; the shit was that I could not walk or else I would have. But yes, this one, ¡°You keep that ass in bed until that cute little nurse says you are ready.¡± ¡°I am going to tell Ana you think that nurse¡¯s ass is cute.¡± ¡°Hey, I might tell her myself if she is going to look like a bus. Now get some rest; I have a briefing and then hopefully shut-eye for a few hours. I check in on youter.¡± With that, I leave the tent but not before Gibbs calls me back, ¡°Thank you, man.¡± ¡°Hey, consider it as a debt paid.¡± He only but cursed at me as I wave him off. After a rather uneventful briefing, I make my way to the tent, where I will sneak in a few minutes to talk to Ana. But it is ratherte, so I do hope that she is still awake. The woman hates to be woken up, especially by me, that does it on purpose half of the time. But the call goes unanswered; she must be fast asleep, so I let it be and drop down onto the bed and stare at the roof. I grab my phone and start typing out an email, which I will never send. ¡°My little Ethan Jr. Today daddy went out in this big mean old truck. It is an awful ugly green which you wille to like one day when you also decide to be a Marine like me. It has giant tires, too many for you to count yet. But the best part of it all is the big gun. It is really big; it is bigger than all the toy guns that I am ever going to buy you. And it makes a very big noise; you need to put things that are earphones on your ears so that they don¡¯t hurt you. Now when you hold this gun, you need to be very strong, so that means you have to eat all those green vegetables that mommy is going to force you to eat. It is almost like all the brownies that you are forcing mommy to eat. But the only thing when mommy eats those brownies, her bum is going to get big. You will get big and strong if you eat all your vegetables. But let us talk about that truck again. We went, and we shoot a whole lot of buildings. Daddy was very strong, and he shot the building to pieces, and now all they are is like sand on the floor. The people were ying hide and seek in them, and we did not want them to do it. But that I will teach you one day how to hideaway. I will teach you so well that you can hide away from mommy, and she can never find you. And then when you are bigger, then you can learn how to be a Marine and really hide from people. And then you can learn to shoot that big big gun. But I think I must go sleep now, while you keep mommy up. Love your almost dad.¡± I drop my phone done next to me on the bed, but then all of a sudden, I start hearing it buzz. As I take it, I see that it is Ana that is probably trying to return my call, so I quickly swipe up and answer it. ¡°Hey boo, I thought you were sleeping.¡± ¡°Nah, the baby is keeping me up.¡± ¡°Are you feeling fine, though?¡± ¡°Ya, I was just checking what I can eat. You know those brownies are making my ass big.¡± I try my best not tough at her, but my poor attempt fails, ¡°Sorry boo, that was funny.¡± ¡°Nah, it is fine. I will go eat some green vegetables.¡± I frown oddly at the phone; why on earth is the woman eating vegetables at this ungodly hour. ¡°Boo, are you sure that you are okay?¡± ¡°Of course, I think I might just hide away in the closet while I am eating them.¡± ¡°Okay, if you say so.¡± She sounds rather odd; I guess she is a bit moody from waking up when she is not supposed to, or should I say when she feels she is not supposed to. But experience has taught me to remain quiet. ¡°So how was your day, soldier.¡± ¡°You know, just Marine stuff.¡± ¡°Really? Like what?¡± ¡°Oh, we went out again after I spoke to you.¡± ¡°Really? I bet it was in that big ugly green truck with so many tires that you won¡¯t be able to count them?¡± ¡°Oops.¡± ¡°Yes oops.¡± ¡°Did I identally send that to you?¡± ¡°My daughter is not bing a Marine.¡± Then silence.This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. Chapter 83 A Blatant Attack It has been a few good days since our standoff in Fallujah. Much to my protest, but happy to himself, Gibbs is up and running again. He is most definitely running around with the nurse, which I know him; he fully won¡¯t continue the rtionship once we are back at base. But I will let the man have his fun; I somehow doubt that it shall interfere with his capability to word, for unlike the rest of us here, he won¡¯t feel the slight bit frustrated at all. And let us hope that he got it all and even a bit extra, for we are taking ourselves a bit further into the city thanst time. Now I am not going to say a routine run anymore, for the shit does seem to hit harder. Today we will be three Humvees, one squad, and one team in a Stryker. Yes, the big ass truck that Ana is shooting me with when I get home, the woman has still not forgiven me for that. Best she does not hear what we are doing with an M1A2. Besides the point, we are ready to head out. We soon find our way winding through the city streets, which byparison tost time, is fairly busy with children running around and their very cautious parents sitting nearby. Now, as with all things around here, you do not know which of them holds a gun in their hands or, even far worse, are making our arrival known. But chances that we have to take and a chance as we are soon taking as we get to our destination and filtering out the Humvees to start making our approach on foot. It is time to search and clear again. But the problem this time being, these are not old buildings and they are not all empty. As the resistance moved in, the offices cleared out with the workers, but the civilians made their way in for shelter. Shelter which is sometimes only granted by doing a favor for the group that upies this area. So clearing is far more difficult and dangerous. And with this, we enter the very first of our buildings. Williams is covering the roof for it is easy ess to escape from here. We, as always, are not splitting up at this stage. Lining off on the left and right, Matthews signals to enter, ¡°Go, go, go.¡± We filter in, guns pointing straight ahead of us, ready to rip off your head at the sight of a gun. We spin. Left. Right. Clear. Next room. In. Left. Right. Clear. And so we go, with great ease, but as we hit the next, there is a family huddled in the corner. They have either just been instructed not to say a word, or they heard word that we areing. Not causing any further rm, we move along. But the corridor splits from left to right. Gibbs and two teams go left, and I, with mine, go right.Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. With the next room, same routine, but as everyone filters and move on, I take it at one pace to slow. Within as little of a second of a second, I feel a blow against my chest so hard that it knocks me off my feet. I find myself being dragged by the cor and lifted from the floor. I see one ratherrge man hovering over my body with a godawful smile on his face. At his attempt to pull me from the floor, I grab him by his shirt with so much force that it rips from his body, the buttons pop off one by one and drop like little peas to the floor. He immediately spins around and rids himself from his now shredded. He is now from mid to top bare in front of me. But one would think that this man shall stop and realize his foolish mistake, I am somewhat sadly mistaken. He only but advances for me again; this time, though, he is moving rather slow, ominous, he is taunting me. He knows what will drive me, and it seem like he wants to y a little game; well, by all means, let us do. ¡°You sure you want to do this?¡± Iugh at him from deep in my belly, ¡°You won¡¯t be leaving here alive.¡± He only but grunts at me; it only falls on ears that are not about to listen. The time for listening has passed, not after a tant attack of war was made to my face. He shifts his feet at an incredible pace towards mine and reached his w for my face. With one snap of his arm, he smashes his fist into my cheek. He retracts his arm tounch at me once again, but I grab it in midair. Itwist it behind his back; I step closer. ¡°You are going to regret that.¡± My grip goes firmer, and I push him off from his feet; he slides across the length of the room and crashes over the side with a loud thud on the floor. I make my way to where he finds himself and yank him up by the shoulder; with utmost ease, I lift him in the air and toss his body to the other side of the room. He rises to his feet and reaches me in less than an inch of the second; as he looks to the side for a brief second, he fools me to do as well. Then he ms his hands around my shoulders and tosses me into the hallway. I expose my knife from my belt in pure elegance, and slowly and with the utmost dept, do I drag it down his chest. He screams out of horror, and he sees his skin is being split open slowly, bit by bit. Without even flinching, he draws one very same and tries to m it into my stomach but only catching my side. Driving them in with utmost force, piercing deep, and as he slowly pulls them out again, he drives it back in even further. I look down and see his fingers that are soaked with my blood. And with soft little pitter-patter, it drops to the floor. The agony makes me topple over in pain, but this is not a pain that I will show him. As I rise up, I rip him by his feet and rise his body in the air. Then I drop him and toss him toss him in his own pool of mess. But the man is a fool, he rises from his feet, and he ms his fists in my chest. I recover from my stumble, but he gains control and drives my body straight into the far side wall, mere inches away from a pole of a chair that has been broken. Then he looks at me andughs at me rather proudly, ¡°I could have killed you so easily there.¡± Myughter vibrates back into his face as I say, ¡°It is not that easy to kill me. But it is easy to kill you.¡± I close my hand around his throat one by one and grip as hard as I can. I snap him off his feet and spin his body around. I drive him into the very pole that I just but missed inches ago. Next, I softly whisper, ¡°Told you that I could.¡± As I catch up to the rest of the boys, they all look at me as if to say, ¡°What the fuck?¡± ¡°Hey, he came after me; I only taught the man a lesson. Then he started to y dirty and pull out his knife; I pause for a few seconds, ¡°Okay, I pulled out my knife, but he was bound to do it sooner orter.¡± They only shake their shoulders andugh at me. Then Gibbs goes to point at my side and softly chuckles to himself, ¡°You always have to have yourself beaten up. Ana is going to have a fit.¡± ¡°She won¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Yeah, like the big green tank gun.¡± I only but shrug my shoulders, and we continue to clear the rest of the floor. And so we do once again, floor by floor, trying not to get into another confrontation again. Well, I think they mean rather me than them. But we get through without any further incident and soon find ourselves heading back to camp. As I go to get looked at in the nurse¡¯s tent, the nurse only gives me one look and shakes her head, ¡°Are you and Gibbs going to be a problem?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you start to, just stitch me up and don¡¯t tell me that I am not allowed to go out for a few days because I am not going to listen?¡± ¡°I think I need Ana¡¯s phone number. I think she might not hear about this one.¡± ¡°Not you too. Does everyone know about the green truck?¡± She whispers something I do not understand and carries on to stitch me up. Next thing I have Lopez walking up to me, ¡°If you are done here, we need you back in the battle ops tent; we have a problem.¡± Chapter 84 When It Rains鈥?t Thunderstorms They say when it rains, it pours, but when it pours, there is a fucking thunderstorm. Well, things have just gone to a new level of shit over here. While we were out shooting up buildings, there was another squad that took a reporter out to take some shots of the city for the people back home to see. Now, while she was happily busy minding her business, that is at least what she thought, she got overpowered and taken hostage. The squad only realized when she did note back several minutester and now they cannot find the poor woman. Our mission, find the squad, find the woman. Sounds rather easy, but it is not. By now that can have her anywhere dead into the city. How do you find a needle in a haystack? Well, you start burning the hay. So before we head out, I need to make a call to Ana quickly. I promised her I will phone before and after every time that I go out. Well, I perhaps did forget earlier on, but at least this counts. It does take her a few seconds to answer, which I truly do no have, but yet. ¡°Hey boo,¡± I stop for a brief moment to hear the most grotesque sounds I have ever heard in my life before. ¡°My god, what is that?¡± ¡°That is me getting sick while you are off ying with guns.¡± I chuckle to myself softly, but obviously not soft enough for she immediately snaps back, ¡°Hey, this is your fault you know.¡± ¡°I distinctly remember someone moaning just as load.¡± ¡°Stop being cleaver. Are you going out?¡± ¡°Yes, we need to go find a reporter that wandered off.¡± ¡°Well go have fun while I attempt to make breakfast for the second time around.¡± ¡°Love you boo, say hi to mom and dad.¡±Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. With that, I drop the call only to see that the entire squad is looking at me with a damn smirk on their faces, ¡°Wipe it off or I will do it for you.¡± ¡°Come on boo,¡± Gibbs says as he pouts his lips. ¡°Come give us a kiss boo.¡± Just as Lewis is about to say his five cents worth, I p him against the head, for a second there it makes me think of how much I am missing Matty. ¡°Come boys, we need to go find thisdy.¡± ¡°Lady? What happened to woman?¡± ¡°If I say woman then I am obliged to call her stupid.¡± They pack out inughter as we get into the Humvees. The thing is whether I call her a woman ordy, it was very reckless for her to be out there alone and she should not have been alone by herself in the first ce. Someone is going to have hell to pay. It only takes us half an hour and we catch up with the other squad that has fallen back to the outside of the city in order to avoid confrontation by standing in one ce. They did leave two behind to check if there will be any movement or shifting of the woman around. So after catching up and nning our approach, we head back out to where the woman wasst spotted. Under full cover, the two men that have been keeping surveince join us back at the Humvee. ¡°Lieutenant, Sir,¡± the Marine salutes me before he continues to tell us about their findings, ¡°They have taken her into the civilian houses over there.¡± ¡°Fuck! How many?¡± ¡°Four of them, heavily armed.¡± ¡°How long ago?¡± ¡°Ten, max. They have not been aware of our presence.¡± ¡°Ya¡­so they moved her. You know this only means one thing?¡± Gibbs turns to me in horror, ¡°Well best we get to her before she makes the six o¡¯clock news.¡± Yes, this is far easier said than done, we by all honesty have no real purpose to search the houses of the civilians. Only when they represent a clear threat and we are in danger. The point being, we for all intent and purposes should not know that she is in that dwelling, therefore there is no real reason for us to enter it. And we cannot particrly have a standoff with the resistance while they are upying the home either. We will be putting the lives of the civilians in danger. We do not and will note across as animals that kill innocent people. So our n, ¡°Find their hideout between these buildings and take it down, they shall with any luck filter out from the house and try to stand their ground.¡± And this is how we wait, the other squad make their way through the buildings to find their hideout. Which we do not have to wait long for, for we soon hear shots and grenades flying into the building from down the road. While they are under attack, just as suspected, the four mene running out of the building and race towards, what I only assume is to save their ammo. We wait for several seconds before we make our move. We casually, even though the civilians are aware of our attention, we slowly approach them. ?? ???? ?? ????? ????? The one woman, fairly old that has seen her own fair amount of violence and abuse over the years, only looks at me somewhat nervously and shakes her head. She knows that if they so much as catch her talk to us that she would be dead. But yet I think there is the part of her being a woman in this ce that wishes for it not to happen to the reporter. So she allows us to enter her home, where we treat it as any other room on hostile ground. You scan. You clear. You get out. So we find ourselves walking into what should be a living room that has only but two chairs and the rest has beds for about four people. Confident that no one shall be hiding under a mattress we filter into the kitchen, two by two, guns drawn. ¡°Clear.¡± Next, we move onto what seems to be a second room in the house. Yet again as in the previous room, there are five beds between only one table. Scan. ¡°Clear.¡± Out. Two of my men break off two clear what appears to be a bathroom that has not seen the end of a cleaning rag in years. Yet again, how do you bath in all this shit? We make our way into the main room which is now our only other option left. But as we step inside between what is yet another set of beds, we see the woman in the middle of the room tied to a chair, and in the very front of her is her own camera mounted on a pole. The one thing that we did not expect is the man holding a knife to her throat. I look to Gibbs with a face of, ¡°I thought there were only four?¡± He shrugs his shoulders for this has now just beplicated. We have only but one choice and we need to take this man out before he so much as nips the soft skin of her neck. But of course, we will try to be reasonable and ask him to drop the knife and if he fails to then we shall shoot him. ???? ?? ???????? Ya, if we thought he would listen, but I shall try again ???? ?? ???????? And perhaps a third time lucky. ???? ?? ???????? Well, it is time to y it our way, now much to the total shock of both our stupid enemy and the rest of the squad in the room, Gibbs and I do the unthinkable. ¡°Rock, paper, scissors.¡± Gibbs loses as he always horribly does which leaves me the one that will be the lucky one to take this asshole out. With a quick distraction from Gibbs, which makes the man turn his head to the left, I show for the woman to duck her head. And in as little as¡­one¡­two¡­three¡­I flick the trigger of my M4. I feel as it jolts giving my body a slight jerk, the pure brute force pushes the bullet through the chamber with absolute ease. And with one snap it exits and travels through the air at great speed, smashing smack bang in the middle of his head. His knife instantly drops and the woman cries in relief. Gibbs goes to untie her and help her safely outside to where the rest of the other squad is eagerly waiting for her. As I step over to the squad leader, I clearly make my disapproval known, ¡°I want to know why this woman was not covered while she was out there?¡± ¡°Lieutenant, Sir, we thought¡­¡± ¡°You don¡¯t fucking think out here! You know! I want to see you in the ops tent when we get back.¡± With that, we leave the city of Fallujah with another sessful mission behind us. This was easy today, they do not alwayse so easy. We have, and do I even dare to say, we have had good luck so far, but as they say, nothing goodsts forever. As we get back I quickly head to my tent to go make my call, as I patiently wait, I can barely contain my excitement. And finally, I hear the voice that I was hoping to hear the whole day. ¡°Hello, Matty.¡± Chapter 85 Black Hawk Down There are those moments that bring you pure pleasure and joy, the moments that you took for granted when you had them. And times like these, when your lifees to near danger every day, it is these times that make you miss them the most. Now this Marine has taken his ass into to tent for he has never in his life possibly ever cried so hard. Hearing the voice of Mattying through the line is that pure pleasure and joy that you feel. ¡°Hey bro, don¡¯t tell me your big ass man is crying.¡± ¡°I am going to give your big ass man a p for just saying that. How are you doing Matty?¡± ¡°Bro, before I even begin, how is it down there?¡± ¡°Loving it, every moment, just enjoying it.¡± ¡°Ya, it is only your sick ass that would say war is fun.¡± I only but burst out inughter to what is possibly very much the truth, but the real truth, ¡°We are here to make a difference, that is all that counts. And you might as well enjoy doing it while you can.¡± ¡°How are Ana and the baby doing?¡± ¡°Yes, about that one.¡± ¡°Hahaha, I heard about the green truck. Bro, you sent the text but you are not even drunk. Now if that is not a dose of stupid.¡± ¡°God, I am so pping you the next time I see you. But how are you doing?¡± I can hear him loudly clear his throat and what sounds like, step outside the door. ¡°Man is it that bad?¡± ¡°Bro I got myself a bit tight deep into it here. Seems I was acting like my big brother and not truly thinking with my head.¡± ¡°What did you do? Or should I ask, what did you fuck up?¡± ¡°Katarina might perhaps be pregnant.¡± ¡°Damn dog, that is great news.¡± ¡°Hey let us not get ahead of ourselves, I said might.¡± ¡°And how do you feel about that?¡± He goes quiet for far too long, which truly gives me the answer in itself.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Hey, don¡¯t stress so much, if it is time then it is time. But don¡¯t worry if you are not ready. You will know what the best thing is to do.¡± ¡°I know bro, but ya, if she is then we might also think about moving from here. As you said this is not a ce to raise a child.¡± ¡°Fuck Matty, you have not idea how great it would be to see you again. I have a rookie here that reminds me of you.¡± ¡°And let us guess, you p him against the head?¡± ¡°Of course, no other way. But listen, I need to get going. It was fucking awesome to speak to you again. I will try phone soon again.¡± ¡°Sure bro, behave down there.¡± There is a trickle of a tear, but enough of a sniffle to know that I am crying, and it is hard to have to drop this call, but before I fall into pieces. ¡°Love you, Matty.¡± ¡°Love you too bro.¡± With that, I drop the call with a very happy but somewhat saddened heart. I wish I could be there for him now with this difficult choice that ising up in his life, but I know that he will be more than ready whichever way he chooses. Though I would be so damn happy if he can move up to Pendleton, well that is if they had that in mind. But bringing us back to choices, I need to decide what will happen to the squad leader that has, in full charge of his squad failed to see the basic necessity to protect a member of the public force out on a dangerous mission. There is not truly much I can do but can put them on cleaning duty for a week. So as I sneakily make my way to the ops tent, I am called aside by Lopez, ¡°Lieutenant, Sir.¡± ¡°Yes, Lopez.¡± ¡°You fee like going for a ride on Big Bettie?¡± ¡°Do you even have to ask? Where are we going?¡± ¡°Just routine flight.¡± ¡°Oh yes, I nearly forgot about that. To get eyes further into Fallujah. Count me in.¡± ¡°We are leaving in ten.¡± Now the question begs, do I phone Ana or sort out a problem that requires semi-urgent attention. I am hinting at sorting out a problem for I do not wish for these men to see that I am losing a grip on things. Right now my family is important but I need to put the same urgent importance into the job that I am here to do. And that is to manage these men and make sure they work up to their optimal peak. So I make my way to the battle ops tent to have a word with the freshly new Sergeant, which is clearly prettified of me. ¡°Lieutenant, Sir,¡± he but barely fumbles out my rank as he sees me approaching. ¡°At ease, Wilson. Now I am only saying this once. I am pissed that you cannot handle yourmand or the Marines under you. Now if I could demote you, I would have for what you did is fucking reckless. So, here is the deal. You and your entire squad shall be on cleaning duties for the next week. That means no action, just cleaning toilets and if you fail to do that right, I will get something else for you to clean. Is that clear?¡± ¡°Yes, Lieutenant, Sir, crystal clear.¡± ¡°Dismissed.¡± Yes, I am going, to be honest, that I amughing at myself, okay, more like pissing at myself inside. But jokes aside, it is time to board old Big Bettie. Now I can honestly say that I did not name her myself for the Bettie where Ie from would have us faster into the ground than up in the sky. Big Bettie is a UH-1Y Venom Marine Helicopter, fitted with a machine gun and cannon. Seats a Pilot, Co-pilot, crew chief, gunner, and 8bat-equipped Marines. Of all the things that I still desired to be was a pilot of one of these mean babies. But guess there is only so much that I can stretch myself at. I have the basic knowledge that one needs to get you out of a bind when for any reason we seem to lose both men at the controls, but I shall admit I will not get you very far. So we soon find ourselves taking up our seats in Big Bettie, the rotor des are spinning ahead with full force, making hearing without a headset practicallypletely impossible. The vibration that travels from your seat to your body is like an adrenaline rush beyondpare. The excitement shaking in your bones as it slowly rises off is near damn intoxicating. Have the full might of such an incredible beast ripping through your body, sends tingles down your spine, and renders youpletely breathless. Yet this feeling of being in the air, on top of all below you, gives you that sense of power that any man craves. And with an easy lift-off, we are off to hover the skies over Fallujah. Our presence will not be undercover, we are there for all to see, but we will be on top of them before they can even think of making any sort of move. We will be gone even faster than they can set us as a target in their sight. But that is what we would like to think. With this sense of security in our heads, we scan from the skies, the inner city to see the bouts of resistance that find themselves in there. They are freely roaming about, not showing much interest in our presence. They are but mere specs of ants that are going about at torturing their own kind and making their authority known. They infiltrate the city with the belief that we shall not move further within the confines of what should be a safe haven for the civilians. That is where they are wrong, and that is why we are now overtowering them from the skies. So satisfied that we know where next toe into the city, we make it to the outskirts on the far other side, but out here it is fairly quiet and not a soul to be seen in sight. We only made this part of our flight know mere minutes before our departure from camp. More because that we did not want to spook the boys. But as it seems it was nothing to be spooked about as these parts which were cleared only but a few days ago seem to have remained unupied as we expected. That is though a total mistake to feel a sense false of security, for from out of the corner of my eye, there is a glimmer of something shining in theter afternoon sun. Just for one moment, I believe that it is a sparkle of a window ring in the sun, but it is not. Next, there is the unmistakable burst of fire and smoke that trails as the rocket leaves theunch. Mere secondster we have been hit full on and then the most terrifying words that one can ever hear as you sit high in the sky with nowhere but up or down to go. ¡°Hold on, we are going down.¡± Chapter 86 Game Of Cat And Mouse We are going down. Well, I think you can see it is simr to ¡®Iing¡¯ for we areing hard and pretty fast down to the floor. I watch as the pilot with absolute breathtaking skills holds the UH-1Y together just long enough to drop us down safely on the floor. But we are leaking fuel, we need to get out and as far away as possible. Withplete haste, we unclip ourselves loose, though Gibbs, with somewhat of trembling hands, shaking beyond what can be controlled to free himself, I help him out with what is only mere moments to spare. As we dive down into a nearby ditch, Big Bettie sings her final song as she erupts into mes in burst apart from her seems. It is with sad hearts that we see this majestic beast go up in mes, she has been part of our battalion for some time now, and it, I can almost say, is like losing a part of the family. This brings a wave of newfound anger towards us, what was supposed to have been a routine flight has now turn out to be one with far greater danger. We find ourselves on the very far side of Fallujah, the camp is miles away from here. We are looking at least a forty-five-minute drive for anyone toe to our rescue. Further, we are not a full squad either, not that I am saying that these men are not capable of holding the enemy at bay. It would just be a bit more of an advantage if we had some more firepower behind us. So covered inplete dirt from head to toe, dust stuck in ces where there should not even remotely is. We, on the back of the heat of a heli still burning in full me, we make our way with caution from the ditch. Ideal would be to hide behind the cover of Big Bettie, but that is not going to happen. We cannot be sitting ducks out here, we need to move regardless of the risks. Up there somewhere they are hiding and they are waiting. There is only one question. Take them out of getting the fuck out of here. Well, I, always being keen to take it full-on, is pretty much overruled by the majority of the men that think that this is not the safest option. Stay undercover as much as you can. And move. And this is what we do. The buildings out of here are fairly degraded with only but a few walls which make them easy to get through. This will be how we travel until we get to the middle of the city and we can safely call for backup toe. So with guns drawn, even tighter than before, we huddle in a group together as we move our way through the first building. There is an absolute stench of something that must have recently died. Let me rather rephrase that to scare the shit back into ourselves, someone has died.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. With a terrifying jolt to the core, we make it through the rubble and the passages, or that which are left to move through. Then there is the absolute distinct sound. ¡°Iing. Get down!¡± In an instant you see twelve Marines dive into a pile of dirt and debris. Lewis, barely missing a pole that is sticking out from a ratherrge concrete b. In as little as¡­one¡­two¡­three¡­the missilees down in a thundering crash sending brick flying over our heads. They miss¡­On purpose, I do not know. Once we are confident that they have not reloaded yet, we move to the next building, then the next one. The fourth one leaves uspletely open. There are no walls, not a resemnce of a room, just an empty space of nothing. A trap waiting to happen. And it happens, but ites smashing past our ears into the third building that has just passed. Sloppy shooter? Or done on purpose? We do not stand to debate the answer. Next we clear two more buildings. The third. We have a little surprise waiting for us. Six of them hiding under perfect shelter. The aim to ambush us? Most certainly. In an absolute fit of rage, being highly annoyed that we have be target practice, I unleash full power as the bullets pump out in rapid precision. Perhaps, well maybe, even true, a bit of overkill from my side. But there ain¡¯t no fucking way that I am being taken prison today. Satisfied that we have eliminated any possible possibility of a tail, we clear our way forward once again. Two buildings down the row. ¡°Iing.¡± Oddly this one has now grown closer. As we dive into the mud, I immediately observe that the shooter has in fact moved closer or yet even maybe a second shooter. We have be a clear target to be yed with. What the end goal is? I do not care, I need to get these men the fuck out of here. Clearing¡­one¡­two¡­three¡­ ¡°Iing.¡± Catching us right as we are heading for the next building,pletely blowing the cover of a semi-erect wall, leaving us once again in the open. Then, ines a string of rapid-fire. We all scan the area to see from which it came. Not possible, they shot so much dust around us that it is hard to see an inch in front of your face. One thinges to mind. ¡°Stay alert, check your back. We might be pushed into a corner.¡± Pushed in the corner for what? Possibility of being taken, hostage. Yet as the dust settles, we can safely say that we are in the clear for yet another moment. Then, in the far distance, there is the unmistakable sound of an approaching truck. ¡°Take cover.¡± Under the remains of what used to be a roof, we hide out of in sight. The scary realizationes, are they part of those that are ying cat and mouse? Then as it approaches, under the shelter of a rather thick metal roof, I am happy to determine that they are indeed only civiliansing to find any sort of supplies that they can find. God, if I could I would so desperately ask them to get us out of here, but yet again I cannot endanger their lives. Even worse, they might be a front and do actually belong to a group. So out of sight, we emerge from our hiding ce, we step out into the street. The next few buildings are near to non-existent. But the moment we do, there is a new assault of piercing bullets only but missing our feet. It is now confirmed. We are target practice or a mere toy to pass the time. Then it urs to me. They want us alive so they can follow us to camp. Well, that is not going to happen. Under the cover of a fairly low window, we scrunch together to assess our situation. It is decided, we will have to radio in for help regardless of the risk that is being taken. We need to take these assholes out before they think they can so much as follow us around. So while Gibbs tunes into a secure radio frequency, we scan the area to see from which building the fire ising from. And then, in the rays of the afternoon sun, we spot the undeniable shine of a barrel. Now it is time to y our turn. In a quick session of thundering rounds, I hear the snap of rounds that leave the guns of the Marines around me taking fire. And in absolute tion, I heard Lewis holler out loud, ¡°Got you!¡± At least one small defeat, we need to try to keep the one with the missileuncher at bay, yet that is going to prove rather difficult. Finding him is not difficult though, getting Johnson convinced to take the fuck out is even less difficult. I watch as he lines his gun up to a perfect point of aim and with one flick the bullet travels through the air with a speed beyond that of sound and smash him in the center of his head. And with that, we start to feel far safer. It only takes us a few more rounds of eager bullets to, what we believe, take the rest of them down. Then not even minutester we hear a Strykering down the road. Well to say that I am not relieved would be a tant lie. So we find ourselves with yet another victory under our belts even though we did not n this one as routine. Yet there is the mere fact that does bring a chill to my bone, they were ying target practice with us for only one reason, to get to the camp. But this does raise a whole new question that makes me pull Lopez and Gibbs into the ops tent once we arrive. ¡°Boys, how did they know we were going to be there?¡± ¡°Of course they heard the heli,¡± is Gibbs¡¯s immediate answer. ¡°No,¡± I disagree. ¡°They were waiting for us. We cleared that area days ago.¡± ¡°They saw us in the main city and moved in,¡± Lopez adds. ¡°No,¡± I still disagree. ¡°I am telling you now, they were waiting for us.¡± ¡°What are you saying, Lieutenant?¡± Gibbs asks. ¡°I am saying that we might have a mole in our midst.¡± Chapter 87 An Unexpected Addition Tonight I am in the same ce I have found myself for a month now. It is a ce between excitement and danger. Where you live on the edge of pleasure, of pure adrenaline that flows through your veins. I love every minute of the thrill. I did not get here by ying it safe or even ying by the rules. Do I desire this lifestyle? Absolutely yes. So I sit and stare over the camp at the masses of Marines filling every corner. This might seem like such a clich¨¦. A man like me, a man that is half a Marine, sitting amongst other men that cannot evenpare. Here is where I thrive; here is where I rule. Ethan Hunter will be a name that you say softly over your lips, for if I catch you not respecting one syble that flows from your mouth, you shall find yourself in a great deal of trouble. Tonight as with every other night, if find myself longing to be with Ana and our baby. I am desperate and fucking lonely. There is thepany of the other Marines that can fill the void of the loneliness that consumes your days and your night. But sometimes that is just not enough, which is practically the majority of times. I am very frustrated as I start to wander my way through the camp; we have a problem, a big problem and I do not know how to take this on. Should I move head-on we might spook him and he would disappear, if we take him by surprise then, well I guess that should be the only option here? So with the utmost confidence, not that it is required, I make my way to the ops tent. But just as I am about to reach my destination, I feel someone walking smack bang into my sculpted chest. The impact is so hard, the poor girl utter only but one word. ¡°Ouch.¡± A group of Marines forces themselves past us at the very moment, which causes her to push even harder into my body. The scent of sweet vani and hints of honey attacks my senses. It knocks my breath away, and beyond my control, I press my head even closer to hers. Her scent is beyond intoxicating. And as I listen, I hear her soft rapid breaths singing like music in my ear. There are tingles of pleasure running down my spine, something beyond what I have ever experienced with a woman before. I softly moan deep in my chest; this is something that I can do with right now. My first instinct is to run my hands over her waist and resting them at the small of her back, but as I find my hands trail the way, her expose skin melts by only my touch. If I was not captivated before, then I truly am now. But as soon as I rest my hand just above would possibly is the tightest ass I would ever feel in my life, then out of nowhere, the t of her handes crashing into my cheek. And as she speaks, her angel voice peeks the very thing that has had me aching for the past few nights. ¡°Lieutenant, Sir. I am so sorry.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be sorry, it was a pleasure,¡± I swallow my words the instant that it escapes my lips. Well, do I not feel like aplete mumbling fool right, trying to gain myposure again, I find myself whispering. ¡°I have not seen you here. When did you arrive?¡± ¡°We came in this morning. The name is Emma.¡± ¡°Part of the nursing staff?¡± ¡°Now, joining a squad.¡± Well, does this not peak my interest. A girl amongst the boys. That is about to cause a whole new string of problems for me. Fuck, Gibbs is going to have his grubby paws over the poor girl. Well, he as much as touches the woman, then he will find himself doing a set of hundred every day. ¡°Do you want toe to the battle ops tent? I was on my way there to meet Lopez?¡± I ask her with a trembling voice. Though what I have failed to notice and much to the amusement of the rest of the camp, is that I am still firmly holding my arms around her waist. I feel seven sensations of pleasure as she runs her finger down my arm as she slowly wants to move away. That damn frustration that I felt earlier on has now hit an all-time high, I so wish I could lose myself in every corner of¡­fuck¡­don¡¯t even finish that sentence Hunter. So as I am fighting the own turmoil in my head, I hear her softly whisper, ¡°Yes, of course.¡± And that is me, feeling her warm breath lingering on the tip of my ear sends me beyond a craze that I should not feel.This belongs to N?velDrama.Org. Then much to my own damn horror, not being able to control any bit of this body, I whisper back, ¡°Then follow me.¡± Well, just for a moment there I thought that she would p me right here, but she looks up at me under the most goddamn seductive eyshes that I have ever seen. And yes, that is Ethan Hunter. I get the biggest smirk on my face, god, when I thought I could not get any more embarrassing. But wait, we have not let go of each otherpletely. As she realizes that her body is still tightly pressed against mine, she slowly steps away. I immediately feel the void that she leaves behind. She looks at me and studies me from tip to toe. Maybe a bit too long to make me feelfortable. ¡°It was a pleasure walking into you, Lieutenant. Lead the way.¡± I watch as she elegantly moves but only a few steps in front of me. She knows that I am staring, so she sways those hips, and god does she do it with a purpose; the only purpose is to create an evenrger ache that won¡¯t be scratched. But just before we reach the ops tent, she stumbles over a rock, I am right there behind her to catch her. As I help her lift to her feet, she once again is close up against my body, and much to my own goddamn annoyance, I have my one arm around her waist again. Not able being able to the words at bay; I say what I wanted to say the very moment that she walked into my chest. ¡°You smell sweeter than honey.¡± I hear her breath hitch, and then she softly whimpers my name. ¡°Lieutenant.¡± I can feel her heart rate as it picks up a pace, and I am forced to step one step away from her body. The moment we step into the ops tent, I can see the faces of both Lopez and Gibbs light up. Now Gibbs can say a thousand words and as he moves on closer, I immediately block him. ¡°Off-limits.¡± ¡°Come on Lieutenant.¡± ¡°Off-limits, if you touch her then I break your neck.¡± ¡°You make her sound like she is taken.¡± ¡°Yes, I am iming her so none of you assholes can. Now let me introduce you, this I Emma. She will be joining one of the squads.¡± I watch as a sneaky smile appears around the corner of what is her soft velvety lips, and I know that I am about to hear something that I do not wish to like. ¡°Actually, it is Gibbs¡¯s squad, one of the boys are going home, something with a great tragedy in the family. So as I understand, it makes it your squad too Lieutenant.¡± Well, now this is just going to prove as one damn big problem. While I am standing still very much captivated in her presence, I can hear Gibbs vaguely from behind and I cannot help but chuckle. I can in all honesty say the words that flow from this man¡¯s mouth does sometimes put me to shame. At the very moment, he is describing the ass of this poor girl as she stands seductively leaning to the one side. I cannot help but listen to him as they both are shamelessly staring at her ass. ¡°Fuck Lopez, imagine a peach just before it bes ripe, imagine the tightness and yet the smoothness. It slips elegantly over your hand and you so wish that it was ready that you could sink your teeth into it.¡± Lopez only but bursts out inughter, leaving us all rather hot under the cor and somewhat ashamed. So before these boys get themselves into deeper shit, I go to show her where she will be sleeping. Satisfied that she has settled, I make my way back to the ops tent to give the two assholes each a frim p against the head. As I get just out of hearing range I can hear the mumble of words as she speaks on her phone. ¡°Yes Sir, I shall find out who the rat is.¡± Chapter 88 A Traitor In Our Midst Today we are going out again, and we are going out with the new distracting member of our squad. Now, Emma has been causing quite a storm around the camp and I am very much annoyed when I say that there is a bet going on before the week is done that I would have had, as they say, a taste of her sweet lips. Now, these boys have two thingsing, one, I am just about married, and two I have a child that is on the way. There is no chance that I shall cheat on Ana just because I am feeling somewhat frustrated at the present moment. Well, I guess all of us here are, but since my ass has gone and imed a woman that is not mine, the boys are making it rather difficult for me. But one thing that I am looking forward to is seeing this girl in action. There are very few women that can hold up to these men and do I even dare to say that she will not be able to hold up to me. Yes, this is the ego that is going to get me into a heap of trouble. So, we are off in three Humvees to a location that has only been made known to the camp. I firmly believe that the mole must be within the camp and not in my squad. We are off to a location deep within the city that has been recently cleared out by civilians. The resistance moved in and, well either they were forced to leave or they left on their own. Our mission is clear, the previous group of Marines, which was unfortunately killed, had left a rather valuable piece of equipment behind. We are here to retrieve it, well we are going to do our damndest to get it back. This is making us rather confident that it will go off as a breeze, but I have learned so far that we should not underestimate these assholes around here. It is with a great chatter, mainly to embarrass me about my encounter with Emma that we make our way to our destination. She, unlike me, is taking this as a rather big joke, well the woman has no damn idea what she did to me that very moment that her chest was pushed up against me. Ya, I fucking miss Ana. But putting that aside, we havee to our location. The n is, we shall split up into groups of two and move from one building to another, clearing them as fast as we can. It is dangerous out this way and we do not wish to sit out here for very long. So splitting up, I take Emma with me, for I do not believe this woman is skilled enough to be on this squad. We are the best in the battalion, you need to earn your ass to be in here. Whoever send her in here, is beyond me, for I had to move one of my men out to make a ce for her. Now, that, on top of disrupting my camp is still firmly pissing me off.Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. That aside, ¡°Emma, you are with me. The rest, team up, we are moving out.¡± Well, there goes the goddamn chatter again, ¡°Do I need to remind you that we are on a mission. Oneugh too many can get your ass shot.¡± Now, this did not go down so well, but yes, of course, Gibbs still stands and chuckles to himself. ¡°Gibbs you will do five rounds of fifty when we get back to camp.¡± ¡°Come on Lieutenant, I wasughing at myself.¡± ¡°Yes, at yourself at my expense.¡± I only but grunt at him and give him one rather firm p against the head. ¡°Now stay close, we are here to fetch Matilda and getting out.¡± With that, we take cover behind the Humvee to make sure that there is no immediate danger as we move in. ¡°Go, go, go.¡± We hunch down as we make our quick entrance into the building. There is that very distinct smell of rotten flesh that lingers in the corridors. I think I can safely say that they are not one of ours as we are forced to step past the bodies that are lying scattered over the floor. Now for some of these boys, it is their first time. So a gag here and there will be excused. So we filter into each floor and each direction. Then creeping up to the first room. One. Two. Three. Clear. Enter. Spill outside into to corridor again, then, second room. One. Two. Three. Enter. Clear. So far so good, no resistance but not great for we are not finding Matilda. And I can say that so far too, Emma is handling herself pretty well, though this is baby shit, anyone can walk into a room with a gun. Next room though, there is what sounds like chatter. I signal for her to be quiet and move at a snail¡¯s pace. With absolute elegance, god don¡¯t ask me why, she takes her stance on the opposite of the entrance. I softly mouth a whisper to her, ¡°On one, two, three.¡± We enter. We make a quick scan of the room, from left to right, from cupboard to cupboard. Empty. As we look in the corner there is a radio that is softly ying. Well, this is good in one way, but it begs to ask where the fuck are they. So not moving for a second, assessing the situation, and nning our next move we stay in the room, out of sight, out of danger. I stand closer to her and whisper, by the way, this whisper thing to her is a problem, yet again I can¡¯t particrly scream. But yet, ¡°I say we carry forward.¡± ¡°Lieutenant, Sir, don¡¯t you think that is a bit bold without waiting for back up?¡± ¡°Emma, you don¡¯t work with me if you are scared about danger. Now, do you want me to get someone to rece you while you go have a tea party?¡± ¡°No, sir.¡± Two more rooms, there is the smell of smoke spilling from. Once again we freeze to aplete standstill and take our stance. With guns pointed for an imminent shot, we slowly but yet not too slow, push through into the door. And. Nothing. Only a small makeshift fire, for which purpose I do not know, as it is scorching outside. Once again, we assess our situation. And we shall push forward. And back into the corridor, making our way further into the building, there is a sound that startles me. Voices. I immediately push her into the next open room. I push her back into the corner away from the sight of the entrance. With one step closer, I drive her slender body straight up against the wall. Slowly with each breath, with each inch of a second, I move even closer. She sys her hand against my pounding heart. As she studies my eyes, I reflect back into hers; there are so many emotions swirling around in them. I hear her breath hitch as she is trying to say my name through deep stuttering breaths. ¡°Lieutenant.¡± ¡°Ssshhh, just give them a minute.¡± With that, she eases into my body and gives into the protection that I provide. Beyond my control, I feel how my body surrenders, and the moment is set to be out of control. I take a hold of my restraint and ignore the heat that is building between us. I need to think of Ana, I cannot give in to temptation. But, god, this feels so good. It is absolute tortured bliss, it is tingling my senses just to be near her. The closeness of her body is doing things that I should not be feeling at all Then I am immediately ripped back as I hear, what sounds as about four mening down the corridor, but what they say next does shock me to the core. ??? ????? ?????? ??? And as I stare back at Emma again, she looks at me with a great fear, and yet a confusion in her eyes as she speaks, ¡°This was an ambush.¡± With nothing but determination left, we step out of the room right behind them as they pass, and without even hesitating, we burst open into fire as we take them down from behind. I look as this woman, with absolute precision pump round after round into each man¡¯s chest, right bang in the middle every time without out fail. I look at her in surprise as thest of them fall, ¡°I think I have underestimated you.¡± Satisfied that the intel was wrong about Matilda, we make our way back to the camp. There is a rather ufortable atmosphere between Emma and me. I know I was only trying to protect her, but why the fuck was protecting feeling so good. So as we get back to camp, she heads off to her tent, and I just casually make my way to the ops tent. I hear her speak to someone once again, it must be a boyfriend so I do not pay much attention. ¡°The mole is in Gibbs¡¯s squad.¡± Chapter 89 Dreams Of Ecstasy Ethan Hunter has a problem, and today he is sorting that problem out. So it is with utmost confidence that I make my way across camp, and without hesitation, I step inside. ¡°Lieutenant, Sir.¡± ¡°At ease Emma.¡± ¡°Is something wrong, Sir?¡± Well, let us think about that. Last night I yed this very moment over and over to absolute frustration in my head. Never has one woman consumed my dreams in total ecstasy. I could feel her delicate fingers running down my sculpted chest as sheid spread over my body. In nothing but redce, she filled the empty spaces that were only meant for her. Even though my hands had the desire, I left her untouched. I want to take my time with her; I want to feel her presence and let her linger until she begs. Somehow I think that it is me that is going to do the begging. I will count the seconds as I patiently wait to explore her body and soul. I want her to not only be with me; I want us to be as one. She shall be the one that will be Ethan Hunter¡¯s undoing. So with what could only be described as endless hours, I have been counting the seconds as they crawled in anticipation, I was waiting for her, I was waiting for this very moment. I have never felt so much nervousness creep up my spine. My heart will simply fall into an abyss if she refuses me. But even if she does, I will not give up until I have her in my arms. She has be my now, my present; she is the driving force that will determine what I do next. And next is me grabbing hold of her waist and pull her deep against the tightness of my body. And there it is, that scent that she carries so well, sweet vani and hints of honey. ¡°Lieutenant.¡± ¡°Ssshhh, Emma. Now, this moment, it is Ethan.¡± I take a lock of her hair and twirl it around my finger, ¡°God, you smell sweeter than honey; I bet you taste far better.¡± And just for a brief moment, my sugarcoated words bring a rosy color to those already burning cheeks. Then beyond what I can ever imagine, she pulls me closer to her. I lean closer until my breath is lingering on the tips of her ear. ¡°God, I want you.¡± Well, if I thought she would p me there and then, she turns her head to face me. Those deep cherry lips are so close to me that with only but one wink, I would im those lips. Then with absolute raw desire, I grab that damn peachy ass and pull every inch of her toned body into mine until we melt into each other. I hear her gasp as she prepares to push me away, but as she leans into me, she catches a hint of my cologne and eases into me. But then she pushes me away, she is about to make an elegant exit. In an instant, I find myself behind her. She turns around to face me; there is clear confusion in her eyes. Underneath this raging animal, there is a fire waiting to be released. I tangle my hands in her hair and seek the softness of her lips. With every wink, I pull her closer, and then I pull away. I taunt and tease, slowly I will im her as mine. The carnal desire to feel that raw passion takes over my body. I clear the entire contents of her bed onto the floor. I grab her ankles and slide her closer. With gentle but tremble hands, Iy her back on the bed. I stare into her brown eyes. She arches her back and pushes herself into my raging erection. Her body whimpers and begs to be touched. ¡°Ethan.¡± As she says my name, I feel a sharp bolt shoot straight through my heart, knowing that she will give me everything that I desire. My mind says no, but my body says yes; how can one have what you desire within arm¡¯s reach but not want it at the same time. Then all reasoning steps out the door. Her arms sp around my neck as she needs to have my body closer. My body jerks at first, but then I allow myself to give in. The thought of her naked body fuels the raging fire within me; she consumes my body. It is not her lips that I reach for; my tongue finds the sensitive parts below her ear. The moan that escapes her lips awakens an even greater longing for her body and soul. The touch of her skin against my tongue sends a fiery passion throughout my core. I cannot keep my self-control any longer. It¡¯s like a battle raging inside of me as she makes my body quiver. Her hands unlock behind my neck, and they are moving all over. First down my shoulders, then down my chest, I can feel my heart pounding beneath my flesh. Her touch sends my blood racing as she moves further down to my waist. My body freezes, and for a moment, I stop breathing, and a growl escapes my lips. And the very moment that it escapes my lips, she brings hers closer, ¡°Ethan what are you doing?¡± ¡°What does it look like Emma. You feel it, I feel it. I can simply not keep this ache in any longer.¡± My hands slide up her waist to find the seems of her shirt, I scrunch it between my fingers and let it linger. She moans and begs for me to further my touch. But not yet, I am not ready to take her yet. She slides her hands through my hair and knots her fingers in it; she slowly pulls me closer to her, so close that our lips almost touch. Her sweetness attacks every corner of my senses. She is a breath of fresh air on a bed of wet flowers that is burning hot in the sun. Just thinking of letting myself get lost in her sends a pure ache of craving to my very much throbbing erection. Her entire body quivers beneath me. ¡°Fuck Emma, I just want more of you.¡± She moans in my ear as her lips tremble, ¡°Fuck, Ethan, if you don¡¯t take me now.¡± ¡°Patient Emma, we have all the time in the world.¡± Then ever so slowly and painfully, I lift her shirt over her head, and god, fucking redce just as I thought.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. But will she truly say yes? I want to spend more time with her, I want to spend more time exploring her body. Being in her presence makes me feel alive. The waves of emotions she brings to my body just make me beg and scream for more. I know I should not, I know I should stop and go to my tent, but I cannot. She captivates me; she draws me in with every inch of my skin. Looking at her beauty does not only take my breath away; it knocks all the air out from my chest. Now she is lying here in front of me for mine to take. I have never been known as a man that loses control, but I would lose every bit that keeps me together just to spend tonight with her. For one brief moment, the words leave my lips in only but a soft whimper, ¡°I¡­I should not be doing this.¡± But I havee this far, and I am not stopping now, I need to feel her deeper, I need to feel her melt into my body. Our naked skin touching together, moving softly together, just like the finest of silk. Our bodies fitting together as if we were made just for this, to fall into one another, to feel the natural rhythm. Both of us move in an intoxicated dance of limbs, never making the same move twice. Then I stop for a moment and look back into her eyes, there is a softness in them, but there is the same raw desire that I feel. I touch my forehead to hers and I can feel the heat radiating through her skin. I have never experienced this in my life before. It fills my body, from head to toe, invigorating me and filling me with passion. And just for a moment, the world around us slows. I run my warm breath slowly over her soft cheek to her deep red velvety lips. They are but only an inch away from touching hers. Then with only one wink, they touch. I cannot help but close my eyes as my senses are filled with the taste of cotton candy. I can feel her heart rate as it picks up a pace; I have her right where I want her to be. With the utmost confidence that I have her hooked, I step away from her body. ¡°Who are you? You are not a Marine.¡± Chapter 90 Interrogation Gone Wrong I am standing over a rather confused Emma. Now I am not sure if she is confused because of the way that I have left her breathless and panting or if I have just caught her out on her lie. I am firmly leaning to thetter. So as I wait patiently for her to dress, I y a hundred scenarios in my head of house this can go. Well, if I think if this was going to be a difficult interrogation, she does surprise me. ¡°The name is Emma, Raider, with direct orders from the Chief.¡± ¡°What are you doing here?¡± ¡°You have a mole in your camp.¡± ¡°Yes, that I know.¡± ¡°Fuck, why did you not just ask me before you seduced me?¡± ¡°You seduced me.¡± ¡°So you return the favor?¡± I only but chuckle at her, but this is raising an issue, and god, not that one that was thinking with his fucking head. The issue is, how do the boys at Pendleton know? ¡°How do you know about this, I mean the guys back home?¡± ¡°They intercepted a call just by pure dumb luck.¡± ¡°Okay, fair, why are you in a squad, surely you do not need to be fully hands-on for this?¡± ¡°The mole is in Gibbs¡¯s squad. The call went out when you were the only squad on a mission.¡± There is a wave of anger that sets over me as I listen to every word that she says. I treat all those boys as part of the family, every single one, even if they are rookies. We are a team and we ought to be working together. But one fuck feels the need to break away from this andy chaos. Do I even want to ask if this was a reason why Gibbs got shot? I can say this, this man is going to find himself on the wrong side of my fist. But as this stews in my head, I have Emma standing and staring at me intently. ¡°You got a girl at home?¡± ¡°Yes, fianc¨¦, with a baby on the way.¡± ¡°You took quite a risk back there.¡± ¡°Nah, it would not have gone further than it did. And if I don¡¯t lie to her, then she will understand.¡± ¡°Well, can we agree on not doing that again to get information out of me?¡± ¡°You damn sure.¡± Ya, I am damn sure, I don¡¯t think I thought that one throughpletely. Yes, I am goddamn frustrated but I will never cheat on Ana. Talking about Ana, I have not phoned her since yesterday morning, the girl is going to kill me. So with utmost confidence, and a few staring faces, with rather big smiles, I make my way back to my tent. But before I get there I have Gibbs in front of me. ¡°So?¡± ¡°So what?¡± ¡°How was it?¡± ¡°How was what?¡± ¡°You know.¡± ¡°You know what?¡± ¡°That.¡± ¡°For fuck sakes Gibbs, just get out with it.¡± I know what the man wants, but does he think for one minute I am going to agree with what he thinks. This man is like a damn gossip column, the entire camp will now by the end of the next hour. ¡°You and Emma finally hooked up.¡± ¡°Gibbs, you know I am not a quiet man. So did you hear me?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°Ugh, you are impossible, now I need to phone Ana and tell her I seduced another woman.¡± ¡°I knew you did something!¡± ¡°Fuck! Try not spread a damn rumor.¡± With that, I leave kicking my own as for letting the words slip my mouth. But yes, I am saying that she is going to understand, the thing is will she understand? I know exactly what she will say, but let me rather not guess now. With this I find myself in my tent, holding my phone rather nervously in my hand. My hand is shaking so much that I cannot even dial her number. If I don¡¯t phone her soon then she is going to know that something is wrong. And if I even wait longer to tell her, she is definitely not going to believe me at all. So I swipe up and dial her phone. Ya, and I am grinding my teeth as I impatiently tap my fingers on my knee. I feel like a schoolboy that is waiting to go into the principal¡¯s office. Just as I am about to drop, she answers. ¡°Hey, soldier.¡± ¡°Hey boo. What you up to? Are you hugging the toilet again?¡± ¡°Ethan.¡± ¡°I know. I miss you.¡± ¡°Yes, and it is five more months to go. I don¡¯t know how you doing it but I am going crazy.¡± ¡°We are busy all the time, so the time does seem to go a bit faster. But, tell me how is the baby.¡± ¡°Your mom and I are going for my checkup tomorrow.¡± Just the mention of not being there for these things knocks my heart hard. I am supposed to be there and not let her do this alone. But she understands and understands I maybe not something she will as I tell her what I have done. ¡°Boo, I need to talk to you about something.¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I hear her somewhat hesitate as she drags out her words and it immediately tells me she already thinks that there is something wrong. God, if she only knew what is wrong. ¡°There¡­is¡­.¡± I stutter as I start to exin. ¡°Well, let me tell you this part first.¡± I step outside my tent to see if there is anyone around that can hear me, confident I am alone I go back inside and continue, ¡°We have a mole.¡± ¡°What! A mole?¡± ¡°Yes, my old squad, Gibbs¡¯s squad.¡± ¡°Do you know who it is?¡± ¡°No, not yet,¡± I stop and take a deep breath before I carry on. ¡°But there is a girl that has been sent to here to find out who he is.¡± ¡°A girl?¡± ¡°Yes, Emma, she is a Raider.¡± ¡°Fuck it must be serious then. So is she part of the nurse¡¯s team?¡± Well, this is now just about going to go south, the phone might either get thrown down in my ear or I can find myself unengaged, maybe even perhaps both. But I am not lying to her, I havee this far, I can do this. I made a bad judgment call, so I need to own up to it. ¡°No, she is in Gibbs¡¯s squad. She has already been out with us.¡± ¡°Ethan are you still going out with the squad?¡±¡® ¡°Yes I am and I am not going to stop doing that boo, you need to understand.¡± She goes quiet for what seems like a few ufortable moments too long, ¡°I understand, I wish you did not, but I understand. But now why did this girl break her cover?¡± ¡°Well, she did not, I kind of suspected that she was not really whom she said she was. But¡­¡± ¡°Soldier, what did you do?¡± I burst out in a deep rumble ofughter, she knows me so damn well, I think if I don¡¯t tell her she would even guess it herself. ¡°The thing is, I think I might have asked her the wrong way.¡± ¡°You think or you know?¡± ¡°Let us rathery towards I know. But at the time, and how fucked up this sound for you will find out in a while, but at the time I thought it was a good idea.¡± ¡°Now we both know that you never have good ideas. They are all bad, it is just the level that varies. But, I am leaning towards that I am not going to like what I hear.¡± ¡°Well it depends how much you love me, and of course you know how my head works.¡± ¡°Yes, that one is debatable.¡± So with one big breath, I count up¡­one¡­two¡­three¡­ ¡°I seduced her.¡± ¡°You did what?¡± I immediately need to pull the phone away from her ear as I hear her voicee screaming from the other side. ¡°Did you just say seduce?¡±N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Please define seduce here for me, for that varies just as your bad ideas, which in fact in this cause is a fucking stupid idea.¡± ¡°I only kissed her,¡± I clench my hand in a fist as I squeeze really hard, hoping that the moment will just carry itself away, but the harder I squeeze, the more the stupidity of my actionse flowing through my brain. But, ¡°Yes, we only kissed and I might have taken her top off.¡± ¡°You might or you did?¡± ¡°Okay, I did. But that is it, I promise, that is it.¡± ¡°Ethan Hunter, from all the stupid things, and stupid is saying it kindly, but this is by far goddamn¡­ Ugh¡­ It does not help to get mad with you, I am just happy you are not keeping it from me, well, if that is supposed to light up that damn dark empty brain of yours.¡± ¡°Boo, I am sorry. I know that it was not thought through that well.¡± ¡°I am not saying it is fine, and I am not understanding. But next time think with the right head.¡± With that, I nearly topple over my bed. This damn woman, I love her so much. ¡°Listen boo, I must go. I love you.¡± ¡°Love you too you damn idiot.¡± With that, I drop the call and fall back onto my bed with relief, but just then I hear a scuffle at the back of my tent. Chapter 91 Time For Hard Decisions As I step out from my tent I nearly fall over my feet as I bump into Johnson, now immediately my thought goes racing that he must have been the one that I heard behind my tent, but just then I see Lewise from the other direction. Now can it be Lewis that has been behind my tent? Well, all I know is that someone was behind my tent and I am going to go all out here and say that it is one of these boys. Now, will my heart be shattered if it was one of them? I will be fucking pissed. Lewis reminds me so much of Matty and well, Johnson is a real damn good shot. I hate the thought that one of these boys that I serve with has gone as far as going to the other side. For what, I am yet to find out. So I am making my embarrassed ass over the Emma again, this time I will refrain from going into her tent, not only will it keep the entire camp talking, but I fear what will happen in there. But as I get there, I hear her talk to whom I am assuming is the Chief. Well, I think I am about to find out what the problem is the minute she steps outside. ¡°Lieutenant, Sir, are you here to seduce me again?¡± ¡°Who says I am not going to do it out here?¡± ¡°About twenty-eight other Marines that are staring at us.¡± ¡°Well, consider this as your lucky day. Now, do you want to take a walk with me? I think I might have a clue.¡± ¡°Yes, I have some word from the Chief as well.¡± With not paying much attention to the chatter that is gettingpletely out of control and let us not forget Gibbs that feels the need to whistle, we make our way through camp to a far quieter side. As we take a seat under the shade of a nearby tree, I look at her with a cheeky smile on my face, ¡°You go first.¡± ¡°Go first with what.¡± ¡°Take your clothes off.¡± ¡°What?¡± I nearly topple over fromughter as her face turns whiter than all fifty shades of white, ¡°I am shitting with you, but god, your face, that was ssic. But seriously go first, what did the Chief say?¡± ¡°Well, we are set to go out on a big operation today, in fact in about half an hour you will have Lopez calling you. We are looking at sending four squads out, but they will have no idea we areing. Now that is what we hope.¡± ¡°Okay, I had an encounter with two of the boys. Someone was listening to my conversation with Ana and when I stepped outside, I only saw Lewis and Johnson. So can we safely assume it might be one of them?¡± ¡°Then let¡¯s do.¡± ¡°I have the perfect n.¡± ¡°And I guess you are not going to tell me?¡± ¡°Does a woman tell her secrets?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°So a man neither.¡± She watches me intently for what seems like a few ufortable minutes too long, then just as I am about to look away, she speaks, ¡°Why not a Raider?¡± ¡°Never given it much thought. Guess the dream was always just to be a Marine. Never aspired higher I guess.¡± ¡°You should. You are fucking good and I can tell you now, you will make the cut. The boys at top speak highly of you.¡± ¡°Well, now you are just going to give me a big ego.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. ¡°Yes, and what a big ego you have.¡± Ya, somehow I don¡¯t think we are talking about the same thing. But what she says does make such a good point, maybe I havee far in my career to aim higher, be part of the elite. I think, and perhaps I can say that I even know that she has sparked an interest. ¡°Thanks for that.¡± ¡°For what?¡± ¡°You know for a beautiful woman as yourself you are a bit slow.¡± ¡°You are such an ass. It was a pleasure, but really now you must consider it. Now I think we need to get back to the camp cause somehow you don¡¯t look like a five-minute man.¡± I only but chuckle at her as I look at my watch, ya, we have been away for five minutes. So we head back and go our separate ways, where I find myself in the ops tent where Lopez and Gibbs are heavy in their conversation about Miss Peachy Ass. ¡°You two are never going to get over this are you?¡± ¡°Hey,¡± Gibbs waves over to me, ¡°I did not take you for a five-minute man.¡± ¡°You such an idiot, why don¡¯t you go chat up your nurse while the big boys do some work.¡± And just then as Emma said the calles in for instruction on our next mission, well, it does let me feel more assured that the girl can be trusted. The problem now is, which one of my men cannot be trusted. So orders be now clear. Before I speak to Lopez I make sure to clear the area of any wandering ears, ¡°Nobody shall know where we are headed today. We will only inform two Marines in my squad where we will be headed.¡± ¡°You sound very determined about this, I hope you know what you are doing.¡± ¡°Well, I sort of have the final say here, so yes, I know what I am doing. Now brief everyone so that we can get ready to head out. I will sort the rest out.¡± ¡°Sure Lieutenant, Sir.¡± Ya, maybe it should not let the squad leaders, and those that are fairly close to me to treat me any differently for as with now, sometimes they truly do not know their ce. But pushing that aside, my first point of contact shall be Lewis. So I scan for him around camp before the briefing takes ce and find him as usual sitting amongst the squad telling hisme-ass jokes which I havee to love. It will crush me if the boy is the mole, Johnson, I can live with, but not Lewis. So, I drag him by the arm, ¡°Come let¡¯s have a walk.¡± ¡°Lieutenant, Sir, you sound like Ray now.¡± ¡°If I was Ray, I would not be pping you right now.¡± And just as I am about to p him against the head, he jumps away, just missing his ass from falling on the floor. But then he turns to me again, ¡°So what is up, you seem very serious?¡± Now it is time to lie, ¡°Gibbs might be moving out into ops, I need someone to step into his ce, now I know you are just a rookie, but I think you the man to take over.¡± ¡°But, Lieutenant, Sir.¡± ¡°No buts, we are headed out to¡­¡± I look around and whisper in his ear, I see he raises his eyebrows and just nods, then I continue, ¡°There is a ir of resistance that has broken out. My eyes are going to be on you, you need to show me that you have what it takes. But do not tell anyone I have told you this. We havepleted the transfer yet.¡± ¡°Yes, Lieutenant, Sir.¡± With that we make our way back to the camp, I am sure he will understand that if it is not him that we had to tell him such an awful lie. But next is Johnson, who lucky is sitting at the same ce, so I gesture for him to follow me too. ¡°Let¡¯s take a walk, and if you want to spare yourself from a p then do not refer to me as Ray.¡± He only butughs at me but starts to seem to be quite nervous. Though I let him stew in it a bit and I have the desire to confront him right here, I pull him aside and tell him the very same story, but, a different location. He too raises his brows and nods at me. ¡°So keep it to yourself, I will be informing a few other Marines, but obviously you are my first choice.¡± ¡°Yes, Lieutenant, Sir.¡± And with that my n is set in motion, now all we have to do is wait. It is a big gamble to take as we are ying here with a man that does not care about the lives of the other Marines that he has vowed to protect. A man that vowed under honor to protect his country has looked the other way and paid the biggest betrayal of all. So after an hour, four squads pile into four Strykers and five Humvees and we make the slow drive to our location. The boys are amped and they are ready to go, but they do not know the location except for four people. Slow as the minutes crawl slowly in anticipation, I feel like I can nearly fucking die. If there is anything that I will ever be remembered for then it will be this, so I have to get this right, there is no time for a do-over. This is my one and only shot. And as wee up to our destination, there they are. The resistance is waiting for us. I know who the mole is. Chapter 92 Betrayal Of A Friend We have juste to the entrance of what should be a deserted road into Bagdad, and as I was hoping, well not true, but as I was fearing, we have encountered some resistance preventing us from entering the city. Now, this would not have happened for nobody is supposed to be aware of our arrival, but thanks to a few misleading information, I can safely say that I do now know who is behind this. The question begs, what are we going to do with him? y this mission out and then take the man down that has not only betrayed his fellow Marines but also his country? Well, the man might get us killed, but how do I control a prisoner when I am being shot at? So I shall wait until we get back to camp. But now, now we have to clear our entry and make it into the city to where we will take our fight today, the hideout of a militant group that has been one of the driving forces behind all the unrest around here. So as we make a stance, and we can confidently say that the road has no civilians around, we prepare to fire. I steady my feet firmly and slowly raise my head through the hole and take a firm grip on the tank gun, and at the signal of one¡­two¡­three¡­all the four Strykers raptures in a constant line of fire. Yes, there were only supposed to have been two as was the initial n, but due to ast-minute change in ns by me, I secured us more shooting power than what these assholes were expecting. So in as easily as only but five minutes, perhaps even less, the pathway into Bagdad has been clear and we are on the way to the old residence on the outskirts of town where this group shall be located. But as with everything, I have changed the route that we shall travel as well, we will be making this one, through the main road of the city. Our presence will be expected here and yet, as so far, we will not be an open target here due to the high volume of civilian presence. So all things considered the mole¡¯s ns are not going as intended, he, in fact, appears now as the one giving the misleading information. And as we travel through the city amongst the hundreds of other cars on their daily business, in traffic through the center, it is hard to believe that such chaos is irrupting underneath the seams. Perhaps not under the seams, but more like being pushed under the carpet. If you do not speak of it then it does not exist. But this is real, for us, here, we are the target and it is real for us. What else is real for us is, finally after a travel that nearly took an hour through traffic, we are turning onto one of the roads that shall lead us up to the residence. Now, this is, unfortunately, the only part of the route that I could not change, so there wille resistance and we will not be expecting it. At least at this point, I can say that the mole is once more in charge again. And I feelpletely helpless. To think about it this way, I am responsible for the safety of fifty-six men, and one of these men wished to put all the fifty-five men at risk. I am fighting at odds with a monster. Well, as of this morning I valued him as a Marine, but the moment we hit Bagdad, he became that very thing, a monster. Now to say that I am not terrified as wee around thest corner, would be a tant lie, for as the buildinges in sight, we are fully expecting it to be heavily armed, but yet it is not. The first word that springs to mind¡­ambush. So we fall back, we are not giving up, we are just halting to survey the situation. But will everyone is holding back here, I will take a Humvee and four other Marines with me and approach from the far overside from where they will not see using. So under the cover of a Stryker, I call for, ¡°Emma, Johnson, Lewis, Lopez, you are with me.¡± And with that Lopez takes control of the wheel, I by his side, and the rest filter in the back. Now, one would say that I am foolish to let the men that I suspect to be the mole with me, but there is always some method to my madness. Though carrying a phone out on a mission is strictly forbidden, I do not know to which extent this man will go to get his information out. With Emma, being my best shot, she mans M2, I turn into the dirt road behind the building, from where I can observe there are several cars parked. Just as I suspected, the building is not clear, we are in direct line of fire and we do not know it. Under a secure frequency, I radio Gibbs, ¡°The building is not clear, send another two Humvees my way and get ready to move in.¡± As we wait for the other Humvees to arrive, we can watch from the position that we are in that there is a stir inside the building, it is starting to focus on the front. They are ready toe down onto us. Once more I radio for Gibbs, ¡°Get ready for an imminent attack. Keep those Humvees behind the Strykers. I don¡¯t want some happy ass getting excited with a missileuncher.¡± Then, for a brief moment I nce over to the rest of the Marines in the Humvee, there are somewhat nervous faces around, apart that from Emma that looks at me rather amused. She knows that I am ying cat and mouse with the mole and she seems to be enjoying every moment of it. Ya, this girl is a lunatic, I would love to have her on my team, perhaps I can do some convincing, but that shall beter. For the Humvees have arrived, the Strykers areing into position. And. Just as thest Marine takes position behind the tank gun, the first grenadeesunching from the building¡­then a round of rapid-fire¡­ another grenade¡­then rapid-fire once again. On mymand. The Strykers break loose and startying the front of the building to waste. Time for us to move in, under the cover of the chaos erupting in the front, we exit from the Humvees behind the cover of the vehicles parked around and make spill out way into the building. As we hit the first doorway, Emma and I push through and clear. Next¡­one¡­two¡­three¡­Lopez steps in and clear¡­thenst¡­one¡­two¡­three¡­the two rookies step in a clear¡­clear. The entranceway is cleared. We move into the first room. As before. Enter. Clear. Clear. Exit. Next room. Two more rooms. Then¡­ While we are heading into the next room, I take a moment to break my concentration away to focus on the fight that is happening at the front, we seem to be gaining the ground and victory might be imminent. But the moment I hear theunch of a missile gun, my entire body goes numb. God, I hope it does not reach a Humvee. There is one thing being a mole, but causing the death of other Marines, well I might as well kill him myself now. But lucky I do not hear anything crashing and blowing up into mes, so I focus back on our current position. We havee across what I am now going to assume must be the leader of this group for he is either cleverly or cowardly hiding in a cupboard. So, I have two thoughtsing to mind, has he recognized our mole and can I drag information from him? Much to the shock from all those at present, I point my gun firmly against his head,Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. ??? ?? ????? There is no answer, so I try once again, ??? ?? ????? Still no answer, then once again, ??? ?? ????? Nothing. So Emma seeing the reluctance of the man to talk lifts him from his feet and shoves him through the door with her gun held into his back. Well, it seems the girl is taking him, prisoner. Now, who am I to judge a woman that decides that she wants to take charge. With this stake, we are happy that we have aplished some victory with the mission and make our way back to the Humvees, as we step outside, I take a brief nce to the front where all have now gone quiet. I do believe that we have overpowered and illuminated the threat. Now, this would not have been possible if I did not change our initial n of attack. So as we get back to the Humvees, Emma, and god knows where she was hiding them, ms a pair of cuffs on our new prisoner. Then she tossed a pair over to me to m on our mole. Now if I say that this is one of the worst days in my life, then I am not lying, for mming the cuffs on his wrists will be an image and a day that I never will forget. So with a broken and defeated heart, I turn to him, ¡°I am sorry man, I never thought you would do this.¡± I have a very shocked Emma staring at me as I m the cuffs on Lopez¡¯s wrists. Chapter 93 Things Are Not As It Seems Yesterday was probably one of the worst days in my life as a Marine. I had to m cuffs on a man that was not only a friend but yet also a man that I believed betrayed not only his squad but his country. Today before he goes, I want to know why. So I am walking with a somewhat heavy heart to where Emma has kept him locked up for the night and much to her annoyance, yet she knows it is determination, she finds me in front of the tent again. ¡°Mmm, see you don¡¯t like to listen Lieutenant.¡± ¡°I call it selective hearing, I just choose not to listen to you telling me that I cannot be here.¡± ¡°I see you are stubborn as well.¡± ¡°Well, would you not want a man any other way?¡± ¡°I am reserving myments on that one. Now, seriously, you cannot be here.¡± ¡°Give me five minutes, that is all I ask. Just five minutes.¡± She looks at me, and yes, the woman still has those damn seductive eyshes, but as she looks at me from underneath them, she much to my surprise smiles. ¡°You have five minutes.¡± ¡°Thank you, Emma,¡± but my words are not even yet cold and she turns to me while she walks away, ¡°Please don¡¯t kill him.¡± I only but chuckle at her and step inside of the tent where I find a somewhat defeated Lopez sitting in the corner at the far backside. Pain and agony are spilling over his face as he looks up at me. I know he knows what ising, but he also knows that it is rather pointless in protesting with me. So I give him the bestpassionate smile that I can and take a seat next to him. ¡°Hey, I am sorry about this Lopez.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be, I agreed to do this, but fuck man, can you at least give me some goddamn water.¡± I step outside the tent where Emma hands me the bottle that he has just fetch from the mess hall and hand it to him, once I find him settled again, he lowers his voice and softly whispers to me. ¡°Do you think he bought it?¡± ¡°Well, the man is walking around the camp thinking that he has imed some victory, so ya I think he did.¡± ¡°When are you taking him in because man being stuck in here is shit?¡± ¡°Just give me twenty-four hours, I promise then I have you out of here.¡± With that, I give him a reassuring pat on his back hoping that he believes me as much as I believe in myself, which at some points I still questioning my judgment in making such a bold decision. See I just could not y the obvious, I gave some false information and put a slight kick in the works. I think it was pretty clear that I suspected him in the first ce, hence his nervousness but I could not now clearly make my suspicion known. So I used a decoy, kindly provided by Lopez to get the pressure off of him. Now the man is proudly walking with his head high thinking nothing of his deceit. A deceit that has been made known to the Chief back at home, who has requested my presence for a call tonight in the ops tent while most of the camp should be out resting, well apart from Emma as well. So I find myself with two important conversations to make today, unfortunately, the one to Ana will have to wait for today. I have not spoken to the girl in two days and I am dying to know how the doctor¡¯s appointment went. But I need to take care of this first, so I find Emma that has now wandered back off to her tent, and call her toe to sit with me in the mess hall. Once we both have grabbed some much-needed strong coffee, we take a seat on the back where there won¡¯t be any spying ears. So as I nervously start to fidged with the spoon in my cup, she rests her hand on top of mine and whispers softly. ¡°What is wrong, you seem a bit edgy.¡± ¡°I wanted to ask you a question.¡± ¡°God, please, I am not taking my clothes off again.¡± ¡°If I wanted them off then they would be off already.¡± ¡°Lieutenant, are you seducing me again?¡± I nearly choke on my coffee as the words so casuallye from her mouth, she not fully knowing what those very words can do to a man, well the very thing that she has done to almost every man that has been around her for the past couple of days. She clearly has made an impact on my life and the way I see myself here as a Marine and where I would like to be. Motivation and determination, those are the things that she has reminded me to have and keep on having, especially when turning the way they do now. We are fighting a war in a war here, and it takes a breath of fresh air to remind us what our purpose is. And this I admire in this woman, let us put aside all other things So with this determination, I know that this might be too much to ask, and who am I to even ask for a Raider, now that is a dream. But perhaps too much of a dream for me, though, maybe one day, for now, I believe I am where I want to be. And with saying that, ¡°I want you to stay.¡± ¡°You want me to what?¡± ¡°I want you to stay here, at camp. I don¡¯t want you to go back. I need someone like you.¡± ¡°You or the squad?¡± ¡°Me, I mean me as Lieutenant, I want you to stay. I know that it really is a big deal to ask, but you are fucking good and I need someone like you on my side. Yes the Raiders is a big deal, but you are still just another Raider, I want you to help me lead this boys.¡± She looks at me somewhat confused and not really quite how to read and perhaps, even maybe, I do not know how to understand myself as either, but sometimes you just know when you are making that call and it seems right at the moment. Who knows when tomorrowes and it is time for her to leave then I shall have apletely different feel about it all. But for now, ¡°I just want you to think about it, it is ultimately not my call, but it would be something that I want.¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. With that my very nervous and anxious ass makes its way outside and heads over to the ops tent to take the call from the Chief that wille in at in about ten minutes¡¯ time. So as I find myself sitting in the corner waiting for the call, I quickly take my send a message off to Ana so the girl is not in theplete dark. ¡°Boo, sorry, I can call but there is so much happening here. I will tell you all about it, and you can tell me all about the baby appointment.¡± I need not wait long and she replies, ¡°Sure soldier.¡± Satisfied that I can almost say I have everything under control, I now wait in patience as the Chief to call. And just as I think I am about to die of anticipation, the screen of my phone lights up with a number that I do not recognize. It is from Pendleton. So as calmly, not trying to sound too excited for a grown-ass man, I swipe up to answer, ¡°Chief nket, Sir, thank you for the call.¡± ¡°Hunter, thanks for taking the few minutes. I am sure you have your hands full at the moment there.¡± ¡°Chief, just the same old shit, I mean, the same, I mean, everything is the same.¡± I hear him chuckle at me as I try to cover up my clear stupidity once again, ¡°Son, rx, it is shit down there, but a good type of shit.¡± ¡°Indeed, that I agree with, just not the part of the traitor in our midst.¡± ¡°Yes, about that, they will fly in tomorrow toe to fetch him and Emma. Now, this is not my reason for the call. I am impressed with the way that you have handled things down there, I wanted to thank you personally for the service you have given.¡± ¡°Thank you, Chief, but Emma helped a great deal on this one too.¡± ¡°I know son, I am talking about everything else, especially for you that think that you are half a Marine, you are by far so wrong about that.¡± But just as I am about to reply and thank him for his kind words, I have Gibbse storming into the ops tent, ¡°Lieutenant, we are under attack.¡± Chapter 94 Losing Your Way ¡­Ana POV¡­ I have not heard from Ethan in two days now, apart from a brief message that he will speak to meter. I am starting to fear what I thought would happen, that he would grow away from me. I always knew it would have been hard for him to focus his mind on both his dream and his heart. The thing I never knew was which was more important to him? But what I did know is that I knew that this would havee sooner orter. With this all turmoiling in my mind, I am off to go shopping as what I do almost every day in this ce. If I am not with Mary, then I find myself here in the city shopping for god knows what that I don¡¯t need. The in fact is that I am lonely, and John and Mary are only so muchpany. It is on days such as these that I wish that I did stay back in that little town, then at least I would have Katarina with me now. So, as with any other day, I make my way through to some other beauty store, which by now I have an over surplus of beauty products. The urgency in my steps is very clear as you can hear them echo through the deserted streets. But the echo is not loud enough, for suddenly, I find myself walking straight into someone. ¡°Ouch! Damn, are you made of bricks? Can you not see where you are walking?¡± ¡°Sorry, miss. I am afraid I was not paying attention to where my steps were taking me.¡± ¡°Hahaha, your steps,¡± I burst outughing. But then I pause for a second and raise my voice in pure excitement. ¡°Wait! Your voice sounds very familiar. Did I¡­?¡± ¡°Did you¡­?¡± I slowly move away from his body, his heat leaving the closeness of mine too soon. He has the most piercing deep sparkle in his eyes. He looks at me, and I swear it feels like he is looking straight into my soul. ¡°Oh shit!¡± he utters in surprise, ¡°I walked into you again!¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. I look at him with a mischievous smile, ¡°I must say this time I was doing the walking.¡± ¡°What are you doing in the alley again? Do you live here or something?¡± ¡°I think I can ask the same of you?¡± ¡°A beautiful woman like you should not wander the streets alone.¡± ¡°Well, I have a handsome man to walk into, so I am not really alone.¡± He studies me closely, the alley might be dark, but from the shadow of the streetlight that is falling on him, I can see he is gorgeous. ¡°Can I be so forward?¡± he asks. ¡°Well, we have been very intimately close twice already.¡± And as I watch James, whom I have now walked into twice for the past two days, I know that he is going to try what he could never finish the other day. ¡°I would like to ask you a question? Will you pleasee with me for a drink?¡± ¡­James POV¡­ If only she will say yes, I want to spend more time with her. Being in her presence makes me feel alive. The waves of emotions she brings to my body just make me beg and scream for more. I know I should not, I know I should turn around and go home, but I cannot. She captivates me; she draws me in with every inch of my skin. Looking at her beauty does not only take my breath away; it knocks all the air out from my chest. Now she is standing here and doing this damn seductive thing with those supple pink lips. I have never been known as a man that loses control, but I would lose every bit that keeps me together just to spend tonight with her. I feel like aplete fool every time I speak to her. The only thing I seem to mutter out is one simple word. ¡°Soooo.¡± ¡°I¡­ I should not be doing this,¡± she stutters. ¡°It is only one drink, please,¡± I beg. ¡°I can take you to my pub. You can see I am not taking any chances.¡± She pauses for a minute and looks at me as to survey me up and down. I know what she is thinking, I should be the bad boy of the town if she can only give me an hour to prove myself to her. After carefully studying me for the better part of a minute, she speaks to me but not before she nips at her own bottom lip. ¡°Oh, so you have a pub?¡± ¡°Yes, I am not a bad guy either. I promise.¡± ¡°I never said you are bad; I do recall saying to you that I am married.¡± ¡°And I recall that I said you are engaged.¡± ¡°Engaged, meaning that I am still taken.¡± ¡°I am not saying you are a cheater; I would love to spend more time in yourpany.¡± ¡°You are stating your case pretty strong here. You are sure you are not awyer?¡± ¡°I am in property, in fact, but that is not what we are talking here about.¡± ¡°What are we talking about?¡± I look down at my feet as I step one step closer. I am doing this again, and I know I should not. But I am like a moth that is being drawn to a me, and nothing is telling me I am in danger. ¡°We are¡­¡± I step one more step closer, close enough so I can reach my arms and fold them around her waist. The closer I get, the softer my voice bes. ¡°Talking about¡­¡± I step closer and closer, close enough to feel her warmth radiate from her skin. ¡°If you will say yes,¡± I look up into her eyes; her lips are but less than an eye wink away. All I need to do is lean an inch forward, and mine would be against them. But mine is trembling and how I would love us to tremble together. I take a lock of her hair and twirl it around my finger, then gently pull it closer. The scent of honey fills my nostrils as I feel the soft touch of her hair against my skin. ¡°If I knew what the scent of an angel was, then I would say it was you.¡± ¡°Flirting is not going to get me toe with you.¡± ¡°You would know when I am flirting with you, and this is not it,¡± I lean in closer. ¡°Do you want to know something else?¡± My lips touch the delicate tips of her ear. I hear her gasp, and the pace of her breath increases. If she is feeling anything as much as I do now, then she knows how much I need to be with her. ¡°Plea¡­ please tell me¡±, she says through stuttered breaths. ¡°That I can so easily kiss you right now, but I won¡¯t.¡± ¡°Why, why not?¡± she asks. ¡°Because you have a ring on my finger. Now, please, will youe to have a drink with me¡± I pull away and hear her softly whimper. ¡°Okay, but only for an hour.¡± I can hardly contain my visible excitement as Ice my fingers between hers, and we make our way out the alley. ¡°I thought you said I have a ring on your finger?¡± she looks and points to our hands. ¡°I said I was not going to kiss you,¡± I exin. ¡°I never mentioned anything about your hand. ¡°Are you perhaps holding onto it because you are scared I would run away?¡± ¡°No, but now that you mention it,¡± Iugh, holding tighter onto her hand. ¡°I am merely making sure you get out of the darkness to save.¡± ¡°Well, I am happy you are the one taking me away from it,¡± she says. What she does not know is that she, too, is leading me away from the darkness, not the darkness of this alley but the darkness of my heart. I know that I cannot be with her, but this, whatever this is, for the next hour, all I want is this. As we get to the main road, I let go of her hand; I almost immediately miss the warmth. I reach out to take it back again, but she slowly pulls it away. Even though we walk in silence the entire walk, there is something in the air that lingers between us. As we reach the pub¡¯s entrance, I turn to her and smile, not a normal little smile but one more the mischievous kind. She frowns and slightly tilts her head to the side; when she speaks, her voice is soft and gentle, ¡°What are you up to, James?¡± ¡°Ana, I am afraid you are going to have to take my hand again. You see, it is extremely packed inside, and I would hate to lose you in there.¡± ¡°Oh, I am sure you hate it a lot,¡± sheughs. ¡°Believe me when I say it does kill me when I have your hand in mine.¡± ¡°Just not the bad killing kind,¡± she remarks. ¡°You do catch on quite quickly, don¡¯t you? So, what do you say,¡± I ask. ¡°You feel like killing me with kindness?¡± ¡°As long as I affect you, then yes,¡± she epts. For so many times tonight, I feel the tip of her fingers as they are pressing into my palm. ¡°Ana.¡± ¡°Yes, James?¡± ¡°Please let me.¡± ¡°Let you¡­¡± Chapter 95 Treasure Hunt When I step out of the ops tent, I knew that there was going to be trouble. What kind, I was not exactly sure of yet. The air is thick and tense. I need not have even step any further, and I hear the crashing of gunfireing down onto the far side at the main entrance of the camp. We are under fire. So as I pass every bewildered Marine, I show for every single one of them to take a stance, and I make my way up to where Lopez and Emma are gearing up. ¡°What the fuck is going on?¡± ¡°Came in five minutes ago; they came straight past our defenses and got into camp.¡± ¡°How many?¡± ¡°From what we were told, a group of about fifty-four men, can be more.¡± I only but shake my head at the odd amount of a small number, ¡°I am leaning to that there is more.¡± But just as I am about to even ask what more, the very moment theye flying over. ¡°Definitely not one of ours. Lopez, get a Viper in the air to take that fucker out. Emma, you are with me; we need to get to these assholes before they get to what they came here for, which I am guessing is not our lives.¡± With orders clear, we head off to the main entrance of the camp where the group of militants is busy pushing their way into. They have caught us off guard, and at night, the boys are all spilling from their tents only but armed with their guns and no further protection. We are easy sitting targets but are not yet near willing to be taken out. Yes, we are by far a greater number than them but, they have one advantage over us; they knew that they wereing. I think it is reckless to say that we are always prepared when we, in fact, might have just let thefort of victory of numerous battles sit too easy under our belts. So regardless if we were supposed to have seen thising or not, the fact remains is that we are under attack. So with nothing, and need I even say not even the weather on our side, Emma and me and several Marines are weaving our way through the tents to the entrance of the camp. There is mud as far as our feet thread, making moving somewhat slower than really desired, but we are pushing and pushing hard and pushing with the clear intention of not slipping on your ass. Thest thing you want to be is an own slip-up mess in your camp with your knees fallen deep down into the mud. That one second that it takes you to get your ass off from the ground might be that split second that costs you your life. So we find ourselves between the cover of two tents, preparing to n how we shall proceed from here on to the front. The main concern shall be getting to the front without getting seen, and right now, the main objective is still clear, for none of the tents that leads us to the entrance have been set on fire yet. The thing that does concern me is that they are keeping the fight at the entrance and letting the airstrike ravage the camp. Are they, in fact, cowards, or do they have a bigger n at hand?Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. It has now been three minutes since we havee under attack. We are standing our ground firmly between the cover of the tents as we are making our way forward to the entrance of the camp. Up above, there is an assault helicopter taking out what it sees fit in its path. Only but a few seconds ago, Lopez lifted up in a Viper and has now taken after the one that is wreaking havoc over our camp. I stare only for but a brief moment up into the skies as I see him gaining his gap and closing fast in taking him down. But then¡­WHAM. Ines a handful of grenades scattering all over the camp. The militants are now pushing through our defenses that held them from entering, and they are now spilling in full force from what seems to appear to be all sides. It is in horror that I watch them enter and overpower the tents of so many Marines that have not yete outside. God knows why they were taking so fucking long, but now there is a whole new battle on our hands. They are here for Matilda. ¡°Not over my fucking dead body. Emma, we need to get back to the ops tent.¡± It has been six minutes since the militants have taken over our camp, not fully yet, but are well on their way. Their numbers are, in fact, higher than what I thought as the rest of them wereing in on foot and not per their convoy. We are stuck between two tents trying to make our way back to the ops tent. Easy? Don¡¯t ever think that anything is easy until you have actually done it. So we make our back to the ops tent; with each tent we approach, we enter in one¡­two¡­we are clear. Then the next tent, one¡­two¡­we are clear. We check every single tent on our way to the ops tent with absolutely no fail. All are intact. But then we get up to the mess hall. We scan the entranceway from the cover of the closest tent, and back to back, we start clearing the pathway that leads up to the door. Once we have stepped inside, we, one¡­two¡­clear the entire room. For a brief moment, we stare at each other in relief and sigh. The mess hall might be clear, but next is the ops tent. So we push forward still. It has now been nine minutes since the militants have taken over our camp; I can see as Lopez has just struck the engine of the other helicopter in the far distance as ites up in a spectacr ball of mes. A small victory jumps over in my heart, and I know at least we have won one battle so far. But the biggest battle is toe. Matilda. So with absolute haste in our crawl, Emma and I find ourselves in only but secondster outside the entrance to the ops tent. From underneath all the rumbling of gunfire and the yells of both Marines and other men, we can clearly hear someone going about scratching around in the tent furiously looking for something. That which I do know, the thing, will they find it, well I am not about to stand around and find out. Then, with another one¡­two¡­we enter with our guns held firmly to our chests and aimed at the very persons that we find scratching around. My first instinct, ????? ??? ??? ?? ??? ???? But the one firmly keeps his point, while the other two go scratching around. But one thing is missing. And then I see it appear from around the corner of my eye. ¡°Hey, Lieutenant.¡± ¡°Do not even dare call me that, Johnson; my name does not deserve toe from your mouth. So is this how you repay your country.¡± ¡°See, Sir, that is the thing, my country did not pay me well enough, so I sought the payment elsewhere and the mere fact that my wife is an Iraqi.¡± ¡°Well, fuck, how did we not see that one?¡± ¡°That is something you will never figure out; now where is Matilda? We would like to get going, for we seem to have taken up some fire from dear old Lopez there.¡± ¡°You have two thingsing if you think you and your friends will get out of here and then even if you think that you and Matilda are going anywhere.¡± Then I hear one of his men shouting from far from the back of the tent. ?? ???? ?? ?? ???? ???? My entire body goes numb as I see him with Matilda in his hands. No fuck, there goes my theory in hiding something in in sight. So what seems like the world is rushing towards an end; I have Emma next to me softly whisper to me. ¡°Now, take them down, now.¡± With no need to encourage me, Iy loose fire on the very man that has his weapon still draw on me. It has been twelve minutes since the militants have taken over our camp. Everything is seeming to draw to a quiet around here as the militants are being taken down one by one. Do I even dare to say no prisoners are left? But yet the battle is drawing to an end on the outside; the one in the ops tent is set to start. I have just taken the man down that had his weapon drawn on me, and with Emma still firm by my side, we are set to make good waste of the rest. The only one that I do seem to have to have trouble with taking out is the one that I used to call a friend. I have nevere to such a choice in my life, and never did I wish I had to where I need to decide what is more important. Yes, my country is important, but should I take out a fellow countryman that has betrayed me? That is a choice I am not clear about. It has been fifteen minutes and ticking; Emma has taken the remainder of the men in the tent out. There is only one man left. Johnson¡­ the very man that has a gun pointed at my head now¡­ In one¡­ two¡­ three¡­ Chapter 96 After A Long Day At The Office So I could not find myself doing it; I could not kill a man out of revenge or hatred. Yes, he had his gun in my face and was about to take my life, but I could not do it in return. Does this make me less of a Marine? Perhaps it does. Does this make me weak? Most probably do. But the way that I ultimately see this is that it is not my hand that shouldy the justice down. Then that brings us to this; it is the day after the big battle that raged through our camp. There will be suppliesing in, not only to replenish food sources but to rece all that was burned so furiously to the ground. But what also will be happening today is that Johnson will be taken back to Pendleton, and it will be Emma that will apany him there. This meaning that this morning shall be thest time she shall be at camp. Now the boys that have grown extremely fond of her are giving her some sort of a farewell party, so yes, it is early morning, and we are all in the mess hall saying a somewhat of a sorrowful goodbye. We are, in fact, not only losing Johnson to a very unfortunate circumstance, but we are losing another of our own. So the mood is somewhat somber, and emotions are quite high. With what seems like endless jokes and speeches to bid her a farewell, I find myself wandering outside to clear a head that has been riddled with so many emotions for the past couple of hours. I am soon startled by a hand that rests gently on my shoulder. ¡°Hey, Lieutenant, don¡¯t stress it. Who knows, one day we will meet up again.¡± ¡°Let us just hope it is under better circumstances. But fuck, I wish you did not have to go. I need you, well the camp needs you. We made a pretty damn good team.¡± ¡°Well, if it means anything, I pretty damn well agree. But, listen, I need to make my way off now; they will be arriving shortly. Just wanted toe to say goodbye.¡± With that, I spin on my heels to face the deep depths of her chocte brown eyes, ¡°Well then, I guess this is goodbye. Thanks for what you have done here, thanks for the service you gave to my men and me.¡± And just as I am about to step away from what can possibly prove to be a rather ufortable situation, she pulls me into a fierce embrace and enfolds her arms around me with such greatfort that for just a moment, the entire world slips away. The warm cocoon that her arms bring to a somewhat trembling and unsure body calms a heart that felt that it was losing control only but a few moments ago. I could if I wanted, and if I allowed myself to, I could get lost in the moment that she brings. But after what could be described as the best feeling that I am yet to feel for the next five months, I pull away. ¡°Before I give you a million reasons to stay, you best be off.¡± ¡°Until we meet again, Sir. It was a great pleasure serving with you.¡± And with that, she finds herself leaving the tent and the camp even faster than she entered it before. I can by all honesty say that this was not only a challenge as a Marine, but it was a challenge as a man. And a man that promised his fiance that he would phone nearly a day ago. So with a newfound determination, I make my way back to the ops tent as my own tent was one of those that found itself burnt to the ground. Sadly with that, the only thing I had to remind me of Ana was also burned; with no picture of her anymore, I have only but left to hear her voice. So as I swipe up to dial her number, I am somewhat a bit nervous. Thest thing I want now is for her to be mad; I don¡¯t think my heart, which feelspletely defeated now, can take rejection from the woman I love. But as she answers, all of my insecurities are thrown out of the door. ¡°Hey, soldier.¡± ¡°Hey, boo. Sorry for not phoning sooner, but we ran into some trouble here at camp.¡± ¡°What is wrong? You do not sound yourself?¡± ¡°We were attacked here at camp. Johnson led them straight here to try and find Matilda.¡± ¡°Fuck soldier, so was it Johnson? How do you feel about that?¡± ¡°Boo, I am devastated. My heart is not taking this one so well. I don¡¯t know; I am questioning what am I really doing here.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you dare. You know why you are there. What can I do to make it better?¡± ¡°Well, it would help if you were here.¡± I hear her go quiet for but a few moments, and then she softly giggles. ¡°Soldier, I want you to imagine kissing me. You are taking your right hand and pulling my long brown hair away from my shoulder. Youy your lips against my naked soft skin. The scent of my perfume attacks your senses, making the desire to kiss me even more intense. You kiss me from my shoulder up the sensitive parts of my neck. Then you softly nip at my earlobe. You can feel me squirm on the chair as the pleasure shoots to every corner of my aching body. My lips are shaking as I breathe little, short breaths. I gently lean into your touch as youy your lips against my warm, velvety ones. Then unable to control yourself anymore, you pull me into a fiery, passionate kiss.¡± ¡°Fuck, boo!¡± Did she just say that? I am not going to lie, but that seriously earned me a hard-on. Fuck. But just as I thought my raging heart would just cool down for a second, she hits me again. ¡°Imagine you are standing in front of me; I am wearing that tight red dress that drives you insane. I want you to feel as you are pulling the strap aside and kissing me softly on my shoulder. Then you scrunch your fingers into the seams and pull it over my head. I ampletely naked and exposed, only for your eyes to see. You gently nip at my nipple, and you watch me as I clench my thighs together.¡± Holy shit! Does this woman want to kill me? I am throbbing to an enormous ache. She cannot possiblye up with anything more erotic than this. This is Ana that we are talking about, she tried having phone sex once, and she miserably failed. This is the hardest that I am going to get. Ya¡­you just put your mouth in it. ¡°I want you to imagine sliding your hands up these clenching thighs until you find the very essence of me. My hand brushes against your pulsing erection; I can feel your need for me. You growl as you feel my very own arousal for you. You can smell me; you touch me. You have never had anything so sweet in your life before. My body aches as you let your hands roam at free will. It feels as if I am going to burst. You gasp, and I can barely breathe.¡± This woman is killing me. Slow. Painful. But god, it is worth it. And beyond my better judgment, I only but say one word to her, ¡°Ana.¡± This just fuels that torment that she is sending my way. And if I thought that my fucking out-of-control hard-on could not get any worse, she somehow proves me wrong. ¡°Imagine you are pushing me into that couch where you take your afternoon naps in. You are on top of me; your body is glistening from the sweat that is building up from the heat that we feel for each other. You slowly take my right leg and hook it around your waist. With one long, slow thrust, I feel every inch of you slipping inside of me. And just when I think that it seems impossible, you drive in again and delve even deeper than before. The pure ecstasy makes me drag my nails into your back, and you let out a loud roar. Then¡­my bodypletely surrenders.¡± Fuck. ¡°Imagine you are slipping your hand underneath my hips so that you can go in even longer and deeper. My body arches as you push me further and further closer to a rush of sensation that I can barely contain. Our bodies are panting together; every breath intensifies the feelings that are swept through our bodies. Feelings that are by turns gentle, savage, and sure.¡± Fuck. ¡°Dammit boo, I think I am not going to talk to you more often.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you even dare. Now listen, once your heart has stopped racing, there is something that I need to tell you.¡±Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. Chapter 97 Breaking Me Over It has been just another great and rather emotionally draining battle, and the onlyfort I sought was the voice of the woman that I dearly love. But then¡­ ¡°There is something that I need to tell you, soldier.¡± ¡°What is wrong boo?¡± I hear her go silent for a few minutes that are too ufortably long and I immediately know that something has happened. ¡°Fuck, boo. Is it the baby?¡± ¡°No soldier, the baby is fine. I¡­ Well, I met someone, a guy, I met him here on base.¡± ¡°A guy? So you made friends with a guy on base?¡± ¡°Yes, I bumped into him when I went shopping. And, we have been out on lunch twice now.¡± ¡°Okay, and?¡± ¡°Well, he has sort of been over to our ce once.¡± ¡°What the fuck is the man doing at our house, Ana?¡± ¡°He is a friend, Ethan.¡± ¡°Well, you are heading somewhere so just get to your point.¡± ¡°Soldier, I don¡¯t know what happened, but he, well, we¡­we kissed¡± ¡°You. Fucking. Did. What?¡± ¡°Soldier.¡± ¡°Do not soldier me!¡± With that my phone finds its way across the ops tent to the very far side corner. I am such a fucking fool to believe, to keep on believing that something with Ana will work? Bullshit! It never will. Once again, I need to remind myself, I cannot trust the fucking woman! Guess it was failed from the start, yes it was a thrilling ride, but I need to stop for one moment and take a step back, for, beyond all the craziness that filled our lives, I need to allow myself to remember why I did not want to get involved. What made it all worthwhile was having her in my arms. I always thought that I have no purpose if I did not have her presence in my life. With Ana, I needed to prove myself as the man I wish she would desire. Guess I have failed myself, not even to mention her as well. Ya¡­I am soft. But to have beauty in your life is easy, to have the beauty of the woman that you love and the one that loves you in return is the greatest gift that one can experience. I can, with all honesty, say that there is no doubt that she didplete my life. To be lonely for eternity can be seen as a life sentence, but having what you crave, is the greatest blessing. Well is that just not a bunch of Bullshit! I was never more assured that she would be mine. Guess once again; I need to remind myself that I am so out of her league. I promised her my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future. And what do I get? Imitted myself to love her. I knew that our love was heaven-sent, and I promised her that I shall be there forever and always. My heart was her shelter, and my arms were her home. Well, those are just the words of a delusional man. The fact that she ever believed the shit that came from these lips goes beyond me. But Fuck. This hurts. The whole messed up thing is that she did not only live in her own body; she lived in mine too. We were part of each other; we were one. I can still hear her footsteps in the passageways of my heart. Her voice echoes through my veins. I can see her face in the mirrors of my memories. She has engraved herself deep into my soul. She will forever be a part of me. But that is where the memory ends, I might love Ana, but there is a bigger part of me that does not want to be with her.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Ya¡­ It is easier said than done. For who knew that she would have stolen my heart the way that she did? That she would look up and smile at me, that she stopped me from running away, stop making me exit and stay. Would I ever go back to her if she asks me to? No fucking way. What she brings to my lifeid like the beautiful colors of a perfect autumn in my soul. But yet she also brings the color of gloom. She has made me change in so many ways; I lived with myself for so long that I did not know that I could be a better man. But yet she epted me the way I was; it scared me that she gave up everything to be with a man like me. She took my loneliness away and vowed to spend her life with me. Well, once again, that is just a load of shit that came from my mouth again. The less I see a woman, the far greater it would be, ya¡­Ana has ruined me. Guess when I said she would be my undoing, I should have made it clear, for she has brought me down to my knees. Not in the way I wish it would be. Why the fuck did she had to go kiss another man! So that was the length of my rtionship with Ana Jenkins. As for me, well fuck! there goes my heart¡­again. So as I wallow in my own self-pity, my phone starts to light up. Ana Jenkins. Well, what do I do now? Answer and tell her to leave me alone? Or do I hope she gets the message if I ignore her? Well, let us try the ignore part first. The phone goes silent for a few brief seconds before it persistently starts to light up again. Now is this girl going to flood my inbox with a million messages saying how sorry she is? Do I even care if she is sorry? Well, let us ignore her for another few seconds and then decide how I feel about that. Fuck¡­I am pissed. Then as I thought, my damn phone starts lighting up again. Now, this girl is persistent or just eager to tell me a bunch of lies again. What could possibly be next? Oh, fuck! I had sex with him. Hey, the woman has already stung me deeply; I guess there is not any deeper than it can get. Ya¡­Let us answer and she what little princess wants. ¡°What do you want Ana.¡± ¡°Soldier, please just listen to me.¡± ¡°First of all, I said don¡¯t call me soldier, and second, what can I listen to that can possibly be worse than what you have already told me. Or should I even not ask?¡± ¡°It was only a kiss.¡± ¡°Well, should I even dare to ask what type of kiss? Or is it best to leave my heart in quiet misery?¡± ¡°Soldier, please.¡± ¡°Oh, god, do I need to refresh your memory, it is not soldier! Or has his kisses rendered youpletely drunk?¡± ¡°It was only¡­¡± ¡°Stop, I do not want to hear.¡± Then from the other side, I hear her start to tremble as the words seem to be heavy from her heart. Well, there is just one thing I can say¡­That shit does not sit well with me. She can cry as long and as hard as she desires, now my only question is, ¡°Why did you phone?¡± ¡°Please, I am sorry. Please tell me that it is not over between us now?¡± ¡°Fuck! Did you just hear what you said? Do you think I for one second that I will stay with you after you have done something like that?¡± ¡°Ethan, why are you so mean to me?¡± ¡°Ana, why did you break my heart?¡± There is no word spoken from her side. Ya¡­did not think she would have an answer for that. Guess the love I thought we had was just an illusion of a delusional man. A delusional man that is about to put the phone down in her ear, ¡°Ana, please, do not hurt me even more than you already have. But can I tell you one fucked up thing? I still love your ass. And I can tell you this, even if it takes me forever, I will get over you.¡± With that, the phone finds its way smack bang right into the trash. I am just a nobody Marine that thought he could get a woman that was never his from the start. It fucking hurts. And as I am sitting here, I can hear my phone vibrating in the bin. Should I get up? Should I stay here? Fuck that. Nice going Ethan, now you are scratching in the trash. The moment I see the screen¡­ Ana Jenkins¡­ my damn heart gives in. ¡°Yes, Ana.¡± ¡°Ethan, I love you.¡± Well, that only took five minutes to form three words. ¡°I love you too Ana, but our love is not enough for me toe back. You hurt me like a bitch and I don¡¯t think I am going to be in one piece very soon again.¡± ¡°But Ethan, please. You know¡­¡± ¡°No, I don¡¯t know. And I do not want to know.¡± And just as I think my words will be enough to hurt her, she continues forward, ¡°Please give us another chance?¡± Chapter 98 The End Has Come Never did I think that Ana shall treat me in such a way. My temper so wants to boil out of control. My anger has now reached its peak, how can she think that saying sorry to me is going to make anything better. I cannot believe the words that areing from her mouth. Now let us take this into perspective, I have had my fair share of my own lies. And yes, it might have caused for a rather trying time in our rtionship, but nothing justifies what she has done. This stings my heart beyond belief, being rejected by the woman you love. She shall not see my tears; she shall not have the satisfaction of seeing me break down. Yes, I have done this so many times, but god, this hurts hard. It cuts deeper than a thousand knives. And do they cut deep. Rejection by the one that you love with all your heart and soul is a death sentence. Did I ever see such rejection be done upon me? Never in all my years did I once foresee that I shall ever hurt so much. My heart is shattered, I have lost Ana yet again. She was so close within my reach and it fell apart before it could even start. I love this woman so damn much but I cannot be with her. It fucking kills me, it is eating me up alive, and god, there is nothing that I can do about it. But I have to, giving her up will be the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. Thinking of those brown eyes swim in nothing but sorrow, is the worst torture that I have ever feel. I feel like falling into an abyss and simply disappear. Her mere words still cut me deeper than a thousand knives. She ruined what was sacred; all because why? Why did she have to go as far as this? Am I not good enough? Is the distance truly not enough for her to bear? Was it just a moment of weakness on her part? But yet, I cannot stand being betrayed. I am being rejected and it kills me. Just the thought of her kissing another man brings a new burn to my core. It burns a hole through my heart just. I want her to be gone; I want every trace of her to be removed from my life, from my existence. I shall not stand for been treated like this when we find ourselves in a soul-bonding union. She is my only true love right now, but as for the immediate future, she does not exist. The tears that have been threatening to consume my eyes and edge their way down my facee rolling with such great force. The raging anger that is suffocating every corner of my body lets loose like a beast. As far as my feet take me into the ops tent, every single object that finds itself in my path shatters in pure brute force against the ground. The very thought of us making love not so long ago, the very thought of the lingerie that she wore the first time we met is ripped to shreds from my mind. I want all, and every memory to be gone until there is nothing but small shattered pieces left. The chair that I sat on only but moments ago, finds its way through the ops tent. There is a ss shattering into fragments of nothing. I ram my fist with a hatred so raw in the mirror on the far side of the table, hundreds of pieces cutting at the skin of my hand. Iyplete destruction to everything that is and was a part of her until I can say that for now, for this minute, I shall be rid of any thought of her. And when she returns into the passages of my memories, I shall do it again and again until every trace of her has been taken from my life. I am angry, I am furious. How can she betray me this way. But this thought only but exists for a few moments, and she finds her way back into the very ce I do not want her to be, she is in my head, and I want her out. So as I scan over the destruction that I have caused, I can feel the disappointment creep into my eyes. I know that once again I have proven to her that I am not the type of man she wants in her life. But can she not see that love is what drives me and it is love that is tearing me apart. I need her, without her, I am nothing but a shell of a man. But she obviously does not seem to care and as of now, from this very moment, I too, I do not care. And as she takes that final walk through my mind, I think for one brief moment that this is it, I can forget about her, but then those wordse to haunt me strainght into my heart again, ¡°I kissed him.¡± Her very words sting worse than any prick of a needle that is shoved into your heart. So as for what will be the final time, I m my fist on the table with the greatest of force, so hard that it vibrates against every corner of the tent. I need to pull myself together there is a briefinging up and it ising up and it ising up fast. And what else ising up fast is thest intimate moment that I will ever spend with her, if only in my mind, it will be the veryst that she will ever deserve. I want so desperately to take her in my arms and just never let go, but I also wish that she will never evere near me again. So as I take thatst corner out the tent to the camp to go face the only people that I care about now, I can imagine myself looking in those eyes that make me crumble in so many ways, and¡­my heart says goodbye. But the moment is too hard for to bear, and I find myself turning back into the tent and cry. It kills me, it rips my heart open and tears my soul apart. Iy in waste, she has just pushed the only thing, the only fucking thing that was good in my life, she has just pushed it away. God knows that I will never forgive her. Ya, Ethan, this is one fucked up mess. And messed up good it is. But it is time to hide these tears away for my fate has just been determined. I need her to understand one thing though before we leave this tent. I love her, but she does not exist. The only that will keep me going back to see her is my child, Ana has made her bed and she needs toy in it. Ya, that is me. These damn things won¡¯t stop running down my face. But fuck why did she have to break me.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. So I watch as she makes one final elegant exit from my mind, she is holding herself together far better than I am, I guess ites easier when you are the one doing the cheating. And hold together, she does, as I watch her sway those hips from side to side, watching her move even further away from me. She in that damn red stilettos, I will never be able to slip them off again, and as I watch her disappear through the door, thest bit that was Ethan Hunter falls into a ck hole. But I cannot do this. I need to fucking pull myself together for if these boys sees me falling apart, my ass is out the door. And it is with this in mind that I make my way outside. As I pass the messhall I can see Gibbs standing there and he knows, he can see it in my eyes. We both know that I am not crying because I was happy to speak to Ana, but he knows that I am crying because we have just said ourst and final goodbyes. But then my phone rings. It is Ana. Before I even get to say hello she interrupts me, ¡°Soldier, please, please can we not just talk about this?¡± ¡°There is nothing left to say, Ana.¡± ¡°But.¡± ¡°No, but. It is over. I shall be the best father to my child, but as for you and me, there is no future.¡± The determination in my voice is clear, I have never been so sure of anything in my life. I have, and I would love to believe so, I have given this some great thought and nothing that she is going to say is going to change the way I feel. Chapter 99 For The Final Time ¡­Ana POV¡­ Ethan has just ended our rtionship for what I believe will be the final time. Yes, I know that I fully deserve it. The thing is that things just happened and it was truly not intended at all. Maybe, yes I am lonely and maybe yes, well perhaps not, for there is a rather big secret that I have been keeping from Ethan and even if I did not end up being with James, I would still have been ripped away from him by the lies, the secrets that I hold. So yes, I fully understand that he is hurting and that he is angry with me and right now even angry at the world. And even more do I understand that he will never take me back, I think that this time I might have just gone and push him too far. Then again, given him having to do the say, I would react in the very same way. It was not James and my intention, none of us thought that things would have developed from a friendship into something more. I guess we should have known from the very first moment that we walked into each other, but more the flirting, that it would have led into something more. Now as for Mary and John, they have now gone and move back home until I have found other arrangements to stay. And, much to the very disgust of Ray and some of the other boys on base that are very close to Ethan, James have been staying here on and of for a few nights now. But I cannot carry on with the scandle.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. So it is with a sad heart that I find myself winding through the empty roads back home where Katarina is expecting my arrival any soon. Apparantly, Matty moved out the very instant he heard what happened to me and Ethan and she is now also finding herself on her own. Now if things between her and Matty are over, well that I do not know. It is with very trembling fears that I find myself hourster standing on the doorstep of my old home. In the corner of my eye, I keep looking if there is any sight of the Hunter family around, but I guess I broke their hearts just like I broke their son. As I step through the door, I am happy to see Katarina in the lounge having a ss of wine. Her facepletely lights up as she sees meing towards her, but the minute she sees my puffy eyes, her face drops. ¡°Oh, girl, I am so sorry. How are you doing?¡± From behind me she sees James step to my side, her face is yet sad and yet happy, though I fear to wonder what she is thinking. ¡°Katarina, this is James. I am sure you know all about him now.¡± She only but cocks her head and smile, ¡°Nice to meet you James. You have caused quite a stir around here and we have not even met you.¡± As he steps forward to greet Katarina, I make my way to the kitchen to go get some more wine, but just as I am about to leave, I hear Katarina clear her throat rather deeply behind me. ¡°Ana, what is going on here? I hope you know what you are doing?¡± ¡°Me too,¡± I step foreard and give her a long deep hug before the tears start to take control of my now burning eyes. ¡°So what are you going to do now?¡± ¡°I was hoping that I cane back home.¡± She takes my hand gently into hers; she whispers softly underneath her breath, ¡°Are you sure about this? Don¡¯t you want to try and speak to Mr. Ethan first?¡± ¡°No, he is not going to take me back. I just know it.¡± She looks away for a few moments; she is thinking of something wicked. She has that look in her eyes where she is up to no good. Then as she finally speaks, I only but chuckle at her. ¡°Of course, girl. But what are you doing about James?¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ I nearly phoned fucking Ana again. I am supposed to be furious at her, but yet I cannot keep my mind of her. I don¡¯t know whom I am trying to fool? But if I thought her foolishness could not get any worse, I am bound to find out how much for my phone has just lit up and it is Matty. ¡°Hey, Matty.¡± ¡°Hey, Bro.¡± ¡°Can¡¯t talk much, but what is up?¡± ¡°Bro, I hate to be the ass that brings you bad news, but Ana has just pulled up at her home with some other guy in the car.¡± ¡°Ah, guess it is James. See the man does not waste any fucking time. Do you know what they are doing there?¡± ¡°Kati, said that Ana is wanting to move back.¡± ¡°And let me guess, Mr. J is moving with her.¡± ¡°Fuck, bro, I did not want to even ask. I am so shit sorry.¡± Sorry, guess that is a word that I shall have to get used to for the next couple of weeks or even months. How is it that everyone else but the one that ruined the rtionshlip is sorry, and now she is shacking up with the man. With my fucking child, she is shacking up with another man. Well this shit does not fly. ¡°Thanks for letting me know Matty, but I must get going, the boys need me in the ops tent.¡± Now I don¡¯t know if she wants me to lose it again, does she want to prove a point that I cannot life without her. Well, I am going to show her that her actions are not affecting me. So, as hard as it is, I casually make my way to the ops tent, but I only get so far and I am right back in my own tent swiping up for that number that I have been trying not to call. And guess what, not even a wink, as if she was expecteing it, she answers the call. ¡°Hey, Ethan.¡± ¡°Ana, do you not think that it is a bit inappropriate?¡± ¡°Is what inappropriate?¡± ¡°Moving on so rtively fast after your rtionship just broke of yesterday, or wait, your engagement?¡± ¡°Ah, I see that Mat has phone you?¡± ¡°So what if he has, do you not have any respect for yourself or the people that you are hurting?¡± ¡°Ethan, I do not see why I need to exin my actions to you?¡± I grind my teeth with the full intention to keep the next words at bay but god, they are so damn hard, ¡°You are the fucking mother of my child!¡± ¡°Soldier, you are not¡­ Can we not just sort this out?¡± ¡°As I said before Ana, I am not your soldier. And I want nothing to do with you.¡± ¡°Soldier,e on.¡± ¡°I am not your soldier.¡± ¡°Please stop just listen to me.¡± ¡°What? You want me to listen to you? Now? After you have been with James?¡± ¡°Come on, that is not fair.¡± ¡°Then do exin to me, how is it that you had a different man on your arm when you said that you wanted tomit to me.¡± ¡°Ethan,e on. It was a mistake. I am lonely and it just happened. I did not mean for it to happen.¡± ¡°Yes, so you get lonely any man that finds himself in your presence is bound to have his heartbroken.¡± ¡°Please. You know there is something different between us. It is something that keeps drawing me back to you, like a moth to a me. I stand a better chance to get broken.¡± ¡°You are so full of yourself, Ana. Do you for one minute think I believe those sweet words thate from your mouth. You live for danger; you live to conquer. Well, you are not climbing this mountain, not again.¡± ¡°Then do answer this, why have you not pushed me away yet. Why have are you still keeping a hold on. You are just as drawn to this danger that I present.¡± ¡°Maybe I too like ying games. See, my heart has been scorned far too many times. Women like you are the reason why a men like me do not wantmitment.¡± Then I feel that sting, that suffocating grip on my heart. It feels as if there is no air flowing to my lungs. This is what it feels like to get rejected, to be pushed away, and it fucking hurts. This fucking hurts. I cannot keep on doing it again. It is really time that I tell her that it is over. I am here to be a Marine, not a mess that cannot keep my heart together all because of a woman that does not know how tomit and stay faithfull. ¡°I wish you all the best Ana, you and James. But do not for one fucking second keep me from my child.¡± ¡°Ethan, there is something we need to talk about.¡± But just then I hear a familiar voice call for me from the battel ops tent. Chapter 100 The War In My Heart I need to make a decision as I leave this tent today. I can either hurt and allow myself to be even less of a man than I already am, or I can stand up for my heart and believe in what I know is right. My choice¡­ I will walk out of this tent today a new man, a man that does not need a woman like Ana in my life. She has hurt me for far too many times and for far too many times I have given her the control and looked the other way. That control ends here today. I know deep in my heart that the final hurt is not over. She wants to talk about something, and I know that this time whateveres out of that mouth is going to be the biggest pain of them all. The onlyfort that I can take away from this doomed rtionship is my child, I might not have been able to save our rtionship, but the best that cane from this is me being a father. So, after taking several moments to clear my head, and convincing myself that this is indeed for the best, I pick my head up and make my way outside to the battle ops tent. I believe I have heard a voice, that believe me now, will bring mefort. With what seems like a few hesitant strides for I know that the camp has unfortunately be aware of my minor meltdown, I make my way back to the tent with pride. And just as I expected, the face to the voice is indeed standing next to Lopez. ¡°Well, look who is here. Now I knew that we can not keep you away for too long. To what do I owe your pleasure?¡± ¡°Came to see if you have not broken the ce down yet, but by the looks of it, I see that you have. How are you keeping Lieutenant?¡± ¡°Let us take a walk and I will let you know all about it.¡± After giving a few orders to Lopez, I step outside the tent and we start making our way to the quiet spot on the far side of the camp. As we make the slow walk, I can see there are a few wandering heads that nce in our directions, they too are probably waiting for the very same thing that I am. So as we finally get to the shade under the spot of a tree, I stop to sit down, but before I can speak, ¡°Fuck, Ethan, I am so sorry to hear about Ana.¡± ¡°Ya, so am I.¡± ¡°How are you holding up? I mean, in front of us all, I am still shocked when I saw it with my own eyes.¡± ¡°What do you mean with your own eyes?¡± ¡°I had to go tell her that she cannot stay on there if you guys are not in any form of rtionship, and¡­Well, the fuck was with her.¡± ¡°Fuck, Ray, I am sorry, but I heard that she was moving out in any case.¡± ¡°Yes, they phoned me once she let housing know what her intention was going to be.¡± I turn to Ray, who is holding the same anger and by all means the same hurt in his eyes. I know if anyone knows what I am going through then it will be him, but the question begs thought, ¡°Why are you here?¡± ¡°I came to check up on you.¡± ¡°You? Or the boys above?¡± ¡°Me. I heard the ne is flying in with medical supplies and tents and I thought I would hop on board. You know that we look after our own.¡± ¡°Thanks, Ray. Now let us stop talking morbid. How is the little one doing?¡± ¡°God, never been a greater joy. I hate to ask, but what is happening?¡± ¡°I am going to be a father, the best fucking father that I can. I just don¡¯t like the idea of this James guy around, but there is nothing that I can do about it now can I.¡± ¡°It will work out for the best. The thing you just need to ept is that things would have never worked out.¡± ¡°You think it was the age thing? Do you think because I was so far less younger than her?¡± Ray cocks his head for a few moments before he shakes his head, ¡°Nah, she is five years older than you Ethan would think a bit moremon sense.¡± We both burst out inughter, aughter that does not carry through to the heart, though it feels good to cleanse the head that is clogged up by pain. ¡°So are you staying long?¡± ¡°No, just in and out, and I believe you boys have a missioning up so I will just be in the way.¡± ¡°Could always do with an extra set of eyes out there?¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°My misses will kill me.¡± So we find ourselves sitting under the tree for what seems for the next good hour before I have to next squad that will be heading off into Fallujah this afternoon again. We are doing ate run into the city, just a sort of break from the routine morning run. The enemy is starting to learn our patterns and catching them offhand at the shit they are doing is bing impossible. With Johnson gone we are also fairly convinced that everything will be running back as smoothly as possible and that there are no elements of surprise. But yet holding thumbs and never acting to assured. Once I have said my goodbyes to Ray and reassured him that he will be the first to know if anything does go wrong with me. At least I have Ana in my old hometown where I know the doctor and will know if anything goes wrong. With that, he rests assured and makes his departure, while I am preparing Lopez and my squad to head out on a mission. It iste afternoon with the sun shining over our shoulders onto the backs of the man in front of us, that we are making a slow and easy ride into the city. Our mission is just to scope out a new area that we have had reportsing in that are under the control of the resistance. The chatter is as always alive and abuzz and the edges with my personal life are trodden carefully. I guess I am going to be treated like a ball of Ethan whether I like it or not. So as my squad is the first to reach the entrance of the street where the buildings are located, Lewis stops the Humvee for us to get out. We will move along the road between the buildings to get to our destination. The other Humvee will move one road down and approach the building from the other side. Slow and steady. No room for error. With that, we hunch together into a group of two and filter through doors and inside windows. Climbing brick and rubble as we go along. Not setting one foot on the main road. Staying in between the buildings, crawling unseen. As we finally reach our target, there is no sight of Lopez yet. We cannot wait for them, we need to filter in. So two by two we enter the back and split up to the sides. Gibbs takes a group of six men to the left and I take a group of six men to the right. From there we split up into another group of two. I am taking a big risk, but daylight is not on my side. I want to be in and out. And in and out of the next floor we move, one room in and one room out. The side is clear. The floor is clear. We only have four more floors like this to go. Next floor. The first room in. Clear. The second room in. Clear. So is. Third. Fourth. Firth. The floor is cleared. Next floor. First room clear. Second room. Locked. Matthew steps back and kicks it in clear. Clear. Fourth floor. Clear. Fifth floor. We slip again into two groups. It is getting fairly dark now and we are not gaining ground fast enough. I do not want my men out in the dark in an area that is not clear. So we split into a group of three instead, which leaves me on my own. Reckless. Dangerous. I call it ambitious and determined. So, one¡­two¡­clear. Again, one¡­two¡­clear. I step into room after room feeling confident that we have entered a building that is clear. But yet, I push through and¡­one¡­two¡­clear. Room after room after room. As I get to the final of the rooms in my pathway, I peek outside the building onto the road to see if the Humvees have made their way safely to the front and are awaiting our exit. And as expected all seems clear. Even though a little bit behind schedule it seems that we have managed toplete our mission. So confident that all is cleared, I lower my weapon and take a much-needed breath. My heart is feeling heavy again and it is clogging my mind. But just as I am about to turn around, there is a voiceing through the entrance of the room. ????? ?? Chapter 101 What She Left Behind There is a dead darkness that settles over my heart as I hear the echo of a voicee from behind me. I have let my guard down for a second, for a second I let my pain get the better of me. One moment of weakness will be my downfall. I knew that I should not havee on this mission. There is a war raging out here, but there is an even bigger war raging in my heart. I cannot fight both, and I was foolish to think that I could. So as I hear the rumble of a voicee from behind me, I have only one thing to do and that is turn around and face what will be my end today. And it is with slow agony that I do so. Each little scuffle my feet make, I prepare myself for what awaits me. Will it be a gun to my head or will it be a knife to the chest. Whichever way, I truly do not think that any pain can be worse than the one that I am already feeling deep within my soul. But I am a Marine, and right now I am a Marine acting like a coward. I am giving up before I have even started to fight. So what I got caught off guard here? I am not ready to go yet. The only thing killing me today is my own heart. And with that, I take that steady turn and I spin right around. The room is dark and all I can make out is the silhouette of a man, he is shorter and somewhat less build than me. It is with great ease that I grab him around the waist and tackle him with force down to the floor. Though I might have underestimated his build, his power and skill are right there to match mine. It takes me but only a few twists and turns and a ratherrge thud in the gut and I have him under control. But¡­ I am soon surprised as he flips me over and has me pointed firmly to the ground on my back. His hands are cold, yet firm as they pin my wrists with only but one hand to the floor, the rest¡­well¡­I do not give him the moment to find what he is seeking for¡­ my knife. Instead, I rip my hands from his grip and fling him around until he is firmly secure between the grip of my legs. He tries to struggle for his very own weapon, but I have his hands tight within my hold. He cannot move, he is trapped under the pure force my body brings down on him. Then as I go to reach for my knife that is securely hidden in my pants, heunches his knee up to prevent me from making a further move. I immediately kick back into his shin and he cries out in pain. But¡­wait. Something is wrong. Making very sure that there is no room for him to make a single move, I search for his eyes. They are a deep dark chocte brown that is glimmering under the moonlight rushing through the open windows above. I do even dare go as far and say that there is a smile behind the sparkle that they hold. But this is not my first problem, there is a second. The secondes from the sense of smell. The scent that carries from his body, is a scent that I have smelled before. Some might find it pleasing, some not, it all depends on which side you stand. So with two very odd observations, I raise my voice only but a fraction as I speak. ??? ?? ????? And if I thought that I need to encourage an answer, I am as with my first observation, very much surprised. From underneath short rapid breath, mainly because we are still furiously trying to decide who will gain the upper hand with the scuffle on the floor, therees a voice, a voice of a woman. ???????? ??? ??? ??? It is hard to say whiches first, but the moment those wordse flowing from lips that I know is sweeter than honey, that ache I felt not so long ago has now disappeared. Now there is the total desire just to keep her pinned to the floor for only but a minute more, but, the excitement makes me jump from the floor and pull her right along with me. ¡°When did you get here?¡± ¡°This morning with Ray, but I was so tied up with red tape that I could note to say hi before you left.¡±All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Did youe in with Lopez?¡± ¡°Yes, caught the ride in seeing that I am going to be on Gibbs¡¯s squad now.¡± ¡°So what? Are you back? Are you staying?¡± ¡°Guess I had someone that did some good convincing, so yes, I am staying, but I would like to get out of this building. So what do you say we clear it and get the fuck back to camp.¡± With that, I clear the remainder of thest two rooms that are on the floor and meet back up with the rest of the squad outside. It seems that we won¡¯t find them here tonight. In a way I can say that I am very much relieved for I know my heart is not into this one today. I could have gotten myself killed. I think that to be true to myself and to that of my squad, I need to sit these missions out until I ampletely back into the game. So as we are all outside waiting for thest of the men to filter back in, I have Lopezing to stand next to me, ¡°I thought you could do with the surprise. I saw her walking into camp just before we left and told her to gear up ande along. Hope you don¡¯t mind.¡± ¡°Well, she was a distraction in more ways than one. But thanks.¡± ¡°Please just promise me that you won¡¯t rush into something because of what happened with Ana?¡± ¡°Hey, this heart will be guarded for a long time toe. But fuck, I like the idea of having her around camp. Not just for me, but for the boys as well.¡± ¡°And I guess she is off-limits still?¡± ¡°Damn fucking right you are.¡± With that, we all pile back into the Humvees and make our way back to camp. The mood is once again very cheerful and cautious, even more so now that she is back and they don¡¯t know if they should make the jokes or not quite so. It pisses me off beyondpare that I am seen as such a fragile piece of china when perhaps I am. But I am being treated like a child and not a Marine and I know that it is not fair to get angry at the boys because they don¡¯t know how to react around me. The thing is that not even I do know how I must react around me. One moment I think I am fine, but the next, just a single ounce of memory of her, and I am all over the damn floor again. I hate what she has done to me. I feel like a failure as a man and now I am starting to feel like a failure as a Marine. Guess that once again I have something that I have to prove. I need to prove to every single one of these men that I am Ethan Hunter, the man with a disability, not Ethan Hunter, the man with a broken heart. But somehow having a broken heart does feel like a disability now. This is something that I am going to have to prove and not keep trying to say. So the minute I step out of this Humvee, I leave my broken heart behind. I leave my broken heart behind in that abandoned building. In a way, I can say that I left it there the moment that I saw her again. Maybe she is the one that will get me through this. So as we find ourselves entering camp again, as I step outside the Humvee I look on over to her, ¡°Emma,e with me for a walk.¡± There is humming and chattered running through the camp as they see me lead her to the very tree that is starting to be a haven for me. Somehow I think that I will and it will even be with her that I wille to this tree very often still. So once all the nces are gone, I show for her to sit down next to me. ¡°There is something I need to tell you, and I am sure you have heard the rumors by now.¡± ¡°About us? Not yet, but I am sure they are going to be steamy.¡± I only but nearly topple over as I burst outughing at her remark, but then my face goes quiet again and I look into those deep chocte brown eyes. ¡°Ana and me, well there is no longer an Ana and me.¡± ¡°God, Ethan,¡± she stops for a few moments as she realizes that it is not pity that I need. ¡°You know what, her loss. But what about the baby?¡± And just as those words leave her lips, I remember that there was something that Ana wanted to tell me. I immediately jump up, ¡°Meet me in the mess hallter? I need to go do something quick.¡± Chapter 102 The Biggest Hurt Of Them All As I stand in the quiet corners of my tent, I dread to make this call to Ana. Yes, what was our loveypletely in tatters, and in a way, I know that I can make peace with that. The only thing that gives mefort in all this pain is the little one that is growing in her belly. It kills me not to be there during this time when every experience is new. When there is a miracle growing, and I cannot be part of that journey every day. What kills me even more is having to think that I might not ever get the chance to be there. Yes, I know that she will never do such a thing to me, but my heart still worries, and it worries even now more than ever, knowing that there is something that she needs to tell me. I can, in all honesty, only guess that it has to do with the baby, for what else can she possibly do herself to destroy me. So even though I am so furious at her still, I gather all the strength I have left and dial her number once more. It takes me a very deep breath, and with a rather big lump in my throat, I finally speak as she answers. ¡°Hi, Ana.¡± ¡°Hi, Ethan. ¡± ¡°Listen, I am not here to fight, but I need you to tell me whatever it is that you have been trying to say.¡± ¡°Ethan, I think you need to sit down for this.¡± ¡°My god, Ana, what have you done?¡± ¡°Please, just listen until I have finished, and then you can say whatever you feel that you need to say. I don¡¯t think that, well apart from this, that there is any more damage that can be done between us.¡± ¡°Ana, just tell me what is going on.¡± As she hesitates for several moments, I start to pace the length of my tent, waiting for her to speak. And as she finally does, I force myself to sit down. ¡°Ethan, I¡­I¡­¡± ¡°You what, Ana?¡± ¡°The baby, there¡­the baby is¡­¡± ¡°The baby is what? Please just tell me.¡± ¡°I lost the baby two weeks ago.¡± I feel as the world starts to spin out of control. I don¡¯t think I heard her right. I don¡¯t think I heard what she said. Did she? No, she did not. It can¡¯t be. She did not. No. No. No. Fuck. ¡°What did you say?¡± ¡°Ethan, I had a miscarriage two weeks ago.¡± And then I lose all control. All reason, all logic, everything that tells me to remain calm goes out the door. There is a snap, there is a rip, my heart is tearing open, and my head is about to explode. A thousand daggers is being driven through my heart as she says it again. ¡°Sorry, Ethan, but I lost the baby.¡± ¡°Sorry? Sorry, Ana? Sorry that you are only telling me this now? How could you keep this from me? How could you lie to me every time I asked how the baby was doing? You lied to me. You fucking lied to me. Every. Single. Time. You. Lied. To. Me. Do you not think that I deserved to know?¡± ¡°Soldier, I did not want your head¡­¡± ¡°Fuck my head, and stop fucking calling me soldier. What is wrong with you? What happened to the Ana that I fell in love with? I do not know who you are anymore. What? Why? I don¡¯t understand you!¡± ¡°Ethan, I, I did not think¡­¡± ¡°Exactly, that is your problem. You do not think! God, I am so fucking sorry that this happened to you! But you did not trust me enough to share it with me! We were supposed to do this together. Why? Why did you feel you had to do this alone? I don¡¯t care if my head would be in the game or not. It is my child! You had no right not to tell me.¡± And just as the veryst words leave my mouth, I can hear her voice start to tremble on the other side. I know she is hurting, and god, I wish I could be there to hold her right now. She did not have to go through this alone. I would have been there for her. She knows that! Why does she keep on believing that she needs to do everything herself! Why! Why the fuck is she so stubborn. ¡°Ana, I am so sorry. Are you okay?¡± ¡°I am fine; the sad fact is that maybe in my heart, I always knew that there was a chance that it will happen to me again. Yes, I should not have thought that way. But, I havee to learn that life is just not fair, and you don¡¯t always get dealt with what you want. But, I am okay. I am really sorry, Ethan. I should have told you sooner, but I just did not have the heart to hurt you. God knows I have hurt you enough.¡± ¡°I guess that it is really true that we were always just doomed to fate. I, I, I really don¡¯t know what else to say. This is not how I wanted this to turn out. Maybe, I don¡¯t know; maybe there is a true purpose in life that is far greater than us.¡± And that is me, the tears that have been threatening to burst through the barriers of my eyesing flooding like the ocean. My sobs are loud, and they are hysterical, and I swear every single man in this camp can hear them. But. I. Do. Not. Care. And with that, not that I truly wish to, but the angeres back again, and it all starts to make sense. ¡°Ana, instead ofing to look forfort by me, you went to James. Why? Or maybe I should not even ask, and please do not give me the bullshit of things just happened. Why? Am I such a less of a man that you feel that you cannot turn to me and trust me? Why do you go seekfort somewhere else where you know you will get it from me?¡± ¡°Ethan, I, perhaps, and please don¡¯t get mad, but I think that I always knew that the Marines meant more to you, and I was always going toe second.¡± ¡°Bullshit! And you know it! We both agreed that I could follow my dreams and you were going to do it with me. And you did until you could not anymore. So did your dreams change?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know what changed. Perhaps, I changed. I am sorry.¡± ¡°You know what, Ana. I hate that you have to go through whatever you feel you need to. But I can¡¯t do this, yes, perhaps I thought that there was still hope. But I think that hope just died ten minutes ago when you have once again broken my heart. I love you, and god knows I will for a very long time still, but I think this is where our paths go separately. I am sorry. I hope you find in James what you are looking for.¡± ¡°Ethan, wait!¡± ¡°No, I have waited for almost a year for you toe around and decide what you truly want, yet you keep on breaking my heart. I am not man enough for you; I guess that day when you slipped your hand underneath those covers and felt that I was half a man, you truly did decide that I was half a man and I was only ever going to be half as good enough for you.¡± ¡°Ethan, that is not fair; you know that is not true.¡± ¡°Then tell me, why is it James that I hear standing next to you?¡± She goes dead quiet, and I know, this, this is it. So without even saying another word, I end the call, and with that, I end what I thought was the best times of my life. Until now. I lost my child, and I did not even know. I feel numb; I don¡¯t even know if the reality has truly set inpletely. All I know is that my world has just ended, and right now, I do not give a fuck about being a Marine. I am a man. A father that lost his child. Nothing else matters. So I fall back onto my bed and close my eyes, and as with so many times before, I see him running circles through my mind as he is chasing a butterfly in the wind. I can clearly hear hisughter echo through my ears as hees so close to catching it every time. And for a brief moment his soft little brown eyes meet mine. And my heart dies. My little boy, We never did get to meet properly, did we? Youslipped away from me, quickly and quietly, without making an impression on the world. No one even knew you were there, except your Mommy and me. But you should know that you were loved. I like to think that you know that already. Some would say that you were barely there long enough to make any great impression on me. But the thing is, even in such a short space of time, I made a space for you in my heart. Even before you wereconceived. As soon as we knew, subconsciously, I started clearing some room. I discovered that it wasn¡¯t hard to make a spot for you. My heart effortlessly stretched to make room. It seemed that, almost overnight, I had this special space in my heart, just for you. But now that space isempty. No matter what happens or how much time passes, I will not fill that void that you leave. I will leave that space in my heart exactly where it is. It is your space, and I am going to leave it just for you. I will carry you there always, in that space, in my heart.Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. I am going to love you forever. Chapter 103 Can鈥檛 Get You Out Of My Mind Four times¡­ Four times it took me to stop myself from sending Ana a message. I cannot stop thinking about what she must be going through. My damn heart bleeds so much for her. But what makes me bleed even more is knowing that he is there; he is holding her the way that I am supposed to be holding her. Why did things turn into such a fucking mess? Maybe just once. Maybe if I just speak to her once, then I will feel better. Maybe just once. So for the fifth time, as little as in four hours, I pull my cellphone from my pocket. I look over the camp that is still, and without causing much of a notice, I walk to the very tree where I feel I can just be myself and let my heart go. As I sit down, I y all the reasons in my head why I should not be doing this. What if James is with her? What if she does not want to speak to me? I just want to know if she is okay. So I swipe up and find her number. In no time at all, I get an answer, but it is not Ana. ¡°Ethan, what can we do for you?¡± ¡°James, can I please talk to Ana?¡± ¡°She does not want to talk to you.¡± ¡°Please don¡¯t piss me off. Can I talk to Ana?¡± ¡°I am afraid not.¡± With that, the fucking asshole drops the call, leaving me even more pissed off with myself than before. Whatever made me decide that I should phone? Not caring much further about how messed up my feelings are, I make my way to the ops tent, where I find Lopez and Gibbs already waiting for me. And of course, Gibbs noticed me with phone in hand walking down there earlier and feels the very need to raise his opinion, ¡°Ethan, don¡¯t do it to yourself. You know that there is nothing that you could have done about it, and I hate to be the one to tell you that she has made her choice. Don¡¯t fucking hurt yourself anymore.¡± ¡°Gibbs, it is so much easier said than done. I only wanted to, and god knows why, but I just wanted to make sure that she is okay. I don¡¯t know; I just thought I should let her know that there is a part that still cares.¡± Then, Lopez, that has been nning today¡¯s mission,es stepping from behind the table andes to ce his hand gently on my shoulder, ¡°Man, I am sorry to say, but did she care when she kept this all from you.¡± ¡°No, but¡­¡± ¡°No buts. Did she care when she kissed that other man?¡± ¡°God, why do you have to keep yourself so clever in the morning? I am going to the mess hall to get coffee. Do any of you clever asses want?¡± ¡°Please,¡± Gibbs says, ¡°If you don¡¯t mind,¡± Lopez adds. With that, I leave the ops tent to go seek the emptiness of the mess hall. It is an hour before breakfast will be served, and most of the boys will be asleep. It is the perfect corner to hide away from all the voices of reason and find another excuse to phone her once again. So as I sit by a very farside table with coffee in one hand and my phone in the other, I once again swipe up, and this time¡­ ¡°Hey, Ethan. I am sorry about James, he just¡­¡± ¡°No, it is fine. I understand. I would have done the same thing, but I would have been far less polite.¡± I hear her softly chuckle through the phone, and just for one brief moment, it warms my heart. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? Promising myself that this will be the first andst time that I will phone her like this, I push my irritation aside and continue to listen to how she is softlyughing at herself. It makes me wonder if she is truly happy and happy, I mean, being with James? So, I cannot help but, for some really odd reason, smile, and, with only but few seconds, I am all furious all over again. But, I do not say a word, and I listen to her speak once again, ¡°Now, I guess you have phoned me for a reason?¡± ¡°Well, I, in fact, I just wanted to know if you are okay? I mean, how are you doing?¡± ¡°To be honest, after ourst call, you made me realize that I have been so wrong, and I have been wrong to think that I will get over it.¡± ¡°Ana, I doubt that you will ever get over the loss of a child.¡± ¡°That I know Ethan, I am talking about us. Well, what used to be us.¡± ¡°That is not why I phoned. I phone about the baby.¡± I hear her go silent for a fraction of what seems like almost three minutes. I know that I am giving her thepletely wrong impression here. I cannot let her think that we are okay. There is no us. We are never going to be okay. I want her to be okay. I want her not to fall apart again. She just lost a piece of her, and I need her to be okay with that. ¡°Ana, I should not have phoned. But, I really, and I am not saying this to want to make you feel better, bet I really hope that you are okay and that you are going to be okay. You can, at any time, if you feel losing the baby is getting too much for you, you can always send me a message, and I will be there. But¡­¡± ¡°I know Ethan, I know. We are done, and even though I don¡¯t think that I will get over that, I will move on.¡± And the very moment she says those words, she knows that she has just made one fatal mistake. Before I can even stop the words from leaving my mouth, it escapes my lips.Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Yes, that you have done. Moved on. I guess you maybe got to learn to move on before you ever gave me the chance to even consider it. In fact, moving on is not something that I feel I can ever do. And as for forget, will that never, though pushing it out of sight and mind, that I certainly can do. Rtionships are never meant tost. As they say, everything has toe to an end. Now, I am sorry I bothered you and, JAMES, but I mean it. I hope you are coping with your loss. I have to go now.¡± With that, I toss my phone over the length of the table, but before it hits the floor, somewhere is there to catch it. As I look up, with eyes that are turmoiling in more tears than they really should, I look into the soft chocte brown eyes of Emma. ¡°Sorry about that, just has some James trouble.¡± She only but bursts outughing as she takes a seat next to me. ¡°Do you want to talk about it?¡± ¡°I think every time I talk about or even think of it, I end up doing something stupid like I did now.¡± ¡°Sorry, but I heard the end, and let me tell you, I admire you for having the strength to still take her feelings to heart after everything that you guys have been through.¡± ¡°Well, I guess I just had to get that off my chest. Hopefully, I will not be making anymore impulse phone calls anymore.¡± Emma looks at me as she ces her hand softly onto my trembling hand that feels far colder than it truly should. Her smile is warm as her eyes meet mine, ¡°Let¡¯s make a deal. Every time that you feel that you want to phone Ana, then phone me instead. I promise I don¡¯t have a James hiding in my tent unless if we can find one in camp.¡± I nearly topple over as she winks at me while the sweet words leave her mouth. ¡°Well, let me tell you this. If I find a James in your tent, then the man is going to wish he never was there.¡± ¡°Now, Lieutenant, are you perhaps a little bit jealous there?¡± ¡°No, I just don¡¯t like sharing what is mine.¡± ¡°Mine, since when did I be yours?¡± ¡°Hahaha, don¡¯t get so excited; I am saying that you are mine to protect.¡± She looks at me and cocks her head, ¡°Are you sure about that, Lieutenant?¡± Now I do not even know myself what the hell I just said. All I know is that this girl makes me warm whenever she smiles. The minute those brown eyes look into mine, it is as if the universe topples over into a mess. My perfect mess. Somehow, somewhere, I don¡¯t know. But she will be the one that will save this Broken Soldier. Chapter 104 Playing With Fire It has been three weeks since things between Ana and me have fallen apart. I havee, in my own weird way, to ept that it hase to a spectacr end. I have on the asion, and might I say too many, but I have had the desire to phone her. I find myself with my phone in hand near sending her a message quite often. But between Gibbs and Emma, I have managed toe to a point where I can say that I am moving on, slowly but at a certain pace. What I have also done is not been out on a mission with the squad either. I pose a bigger risk at getting myself, and even far worse, one of my men killed with my mind that justcked being there. It is early morning; the camp is still dead silent, with only but a few Marines wandering around. I havee to the only ce where I can breathe and free my mind. My haven, the tree on the far side of the camp. The light does not reach here, and it is eerily quiet. Only with a few bugs buzzing and the clear, beautiful skies up above, Ie here with my thoughts to get myself ready for the day. As I sit here with my eyes closed and lifted towards the skies, there is a cool breeze that settles over my skin. A soft drizzle is starting to trickle down, but not hard enough to let me seek thefort of my tent. But just as I ampletely drifting off into my own mind, I hear a scuffle behind me. In an inch of a second, I have my gun armed and pointed at the head of one staring back at me with somewhat wide and frightened eyes. ¡°What the fuck, Emma?¡± ¡°Whoa, Lieutenant. Is that the way to greet a woman?¡± ¡°Why the hell are you sneaking up on me?¡± ¡°Came to bring you coffee.¡± She reaches over to me and hands me a cup of hot steamy coffee. I softly chuckle at her and slide my gun in the back of my pants again. ¡°Thanks. But why are you up so early?¡± ¡°Think I can ask you the same. I came here to save you from your own mind.¡± ¡°Nah, the mind is fine. Just nervous going out again.¡± ¡°You joining the squad today?¡± ¡°Yes, I think I am ready.¡± She furrows her brows and looks at me from underneath, and, yes, they still are goddamn fluttering eyshes. ¡°You think? Should it not be you are?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t get clever with me. I am just nervous.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be. I will be there. If you get nervous, then I will save you from yourself.¡± ¡°And how do you intend in doing that?¡± She does not answer and for what seems like an eternity, we just stare into each other¡¯s eyes. She looks down at my slightly parted lips, and I know what is about to happen. We both lean into each other in slow motion, never breaking eye contact once. My heart skips a beat, and my knees get wobbly even though I am not standing on my feet. I curl my hand around her neck and tangle the other in her long wavy hair. Our lips brush softly against each other, like little butterly wings her lips dance soft and delicate against mine. But I pull away and hesitate for a moment. She feels new yet oddly familiar. Her lips seem to have been molded to the shape of mine. My hands curl around hers so perfectly as if they were made just for her. She tastes like passion, like pure, unrestrained passion, and I want more. So we begin to close the gap even more than before. What begins as a small peck bes more passionate. The rest of the world spins so fast it bes non-existent. I lean even further into her, and our body melts into each other. It is as if I can feel a fire zing within me, out of control. We arepletely and utterly in sync at this very moment. Everything about her is perfect. The sheer softness of her hair as I run my hands through it. The taste of sweet cotton candy that lingers on her lips. Her breath that warms my cheek. The way she ys with the hair at the back of my head that tickles my neck. Then she presses her lips against mine even harder. Lightning passes through me. I feel lost in a different universe, and she is slowly taking me there. Her cold hand creeps from my neck down my spine and pulls me closer. Her touch makes my body shiver. Her delicate, innocent kiss makes my heart flutter. My heart races. My body surrenders. I let her kiss me as long as she wants. Every time I let go, I go back and kiss her again softly. After what seems like being away for hours, we part and put our foreheads together. She stares at the ground and softly whispers. ¡°I am sorry, I should not have done that.¡± I ce the tip of my finger under her chin and draw her back closer, ¡°I would be sorry if you did not do it again.¡± She cocks her head and smiles at me, ¡°Well, Lieutenant, I will remember that, but I suggest we get out of the rain before we are really soaked.¡± ¡°Emma, I think I already am,¡± she only but shakes her head at myment. I lean in to take her lips once more for onest time. As we start making our way back into the camp, the rest of the Marines are starting toe from their tents to greet the morning. Emma goes her way before they can realize that we havee from the very same direction. I see her disappear off into the mess hall. For a brief moment, my heart skips a beat, and I have to stop myself from thinking. What am I doing? I immediately sweep it to the back of my mind as I take a seat next to Gibbs. He only but looks at me and smiles.Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Take that thing off your face, or I will dly do it for you.¡± ¡°What? I am only smiling. It is a beautiful morning.¡± ¡°It is raining, and everything is full of shit mud. The only beautiful thing,¡± I hesitate for but a moment. ¡°Why the fuck are you watching us anyway?¡± ¡°I was looking at where she was going, taking you coffee.¡± ¡°And you just kept on looking?¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± Gibbs immediately goes quiet as shees to take a seat across from us. ¡°Emma¡­Emma¡­Morning.¡± And for some stupid reason, I cannot speak, stuttering like an idiot. She sees the clear frustration and let us not forget the embarrassment on my face and only chuckles. ¡°Morning, Lieutenant. Did something catch your tongue?¡± ¡°Ya, it seems that something sneaked its way into my mouth.¡± God, and did it sneak its way in. Kissing her was like something ripped open my soul. It felt like tasting, feeling, and seeing every color of the rainbow in its own sensual way. Her softness. Her sweetness. I was breathing her in. It felt like I caught her into my soul. Nothing in the world existed but her and me. What she made me feel is hard to describe in words. She is like an aphrodisiac. There is a fire glowing in her lips just for me. I want her¡­ But I know that she is like Pandora¡¯s box. Am I afraid to open it? Am I afraid to open her? Explore her? Just then, Gibbs rips me from my thoughts. ¡°Lieutenant, it is raining rather urgently out there; I don¡¯t think that we should go out today.¡± He sees the disappointment, but yet somehow, there is a relief. Am I truly not ready to go out yet? Well that we will find out another day. But today I need to ask myself another question. Am I truly ready for something like Emma? Well, that we will soon find out as she joins Gibbs and me in the ops tent an hourter, and much to my total disgust, Lopez and him leaves us alone. After trying to pretend to keep myself busy for a while, I give up and go sit where she is sitting, cleaning her gun in the farside corner. But before I can stop the wordsing from my mouth, ¡°God, do you have any idea how sexy this is.¡± ¡°Lieutenant, I did not know that guns turn you on?¡± ¡°No,¡± I briefly pause, this time not trying to stop those words at all. ¡°It is the woman cleaning the gun that is turning me on.¡± She looks at me half shy, and I take a seat next to her. The incredible urge shoots through my body to take her into my arms and kiss her again, but instead, I look into those deep brown eyes. It only takes me but a wink, and I forget everything around me. This woman draws me in, and every part of me wants to be drawn. I am going to open that box. Does it really matter if I am ready? Chapter 105 Like A Moth To A Flame I would love to believe that I am ying with fire, but then I need to remind myself that Ana is not present in my life anymore. Yes, it does still bring a sting to my heart, but it also makes my heart feel at ease that I am allowed to feel something for Emma. What? I do not know. Some would say it is rebound, and others say it is lust. For most at camp, it is something to tease the Lieutenant over. Whichever it is, I simply cannot get enough of her. When I think of her, the feeling I do feel is¡­my heart hurts, but it hurts in a good way. Have I opened that boxpletely? Not yet¡­but god do I wish I could. We have kept whatever it is that is developing between us a rather great secret; in a way, I am back to keeping secrets again, but this, well, this is one that I enjoy keeping. I know that our rtionship, well, if it is at that stage yet, but I know that it shalle out sooner orter. Now I am not concerned about the boys here talking; what does have me concerned is the boys back home. But then again, Ray knows what he was doing when he brought her here. The thing is¡­ Does he see her as a rebound or just a means to get me to realize what it is that I truly need? Well, I have news for him. I do not need Ana. In fact, I should just stop talking about the womanpletely. I guess I have not noticed how much I am still doing until now. So with a rather aching heart, aching in a good way, I find myself at 2 am in the morning, sneaking to Emma¡¯s tent. We are set to go out on a missionter today, and I just wanted the girl¡¯spany, not that I am not in it the whole day already, I just, fuck, I just want toy my hands on her in a way that I cannot really do in front of the boys. And if I thought that the woman would be sleeping, she seems to be waiting for me with an enormous smile on her face. ¡°Lieutenant, I see you are sneaking around again.¡± ¡°Obviously not sneaking good enough if you are awake. Or are you perhaps waiting for me?¡± ¡°Perhaps. Perhaps not. But I can say that you were sneaking around in my head first.¡± ¡°Oh really, and what did I do?¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t youe closer, and I can show you what you started.¡± I sit down next to her on the bed. My heart is beating so wildly that I cannot even hear myself think. I reach out and casually tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear, and she leans into my touch. ¡°My god, you are gorgeous.¡± My face bends down into hers in slow motion; I slide my hands down the smooth curves of her side to rest them on her hips and draw her closer. My lips crash against hers like a colliding star, and it knocks her breath away. She sys her hand against my chest, intending to push me away, but instead, she leaves it there. I drive my fingers deep into her waist and crush my lips into hers. I feel the heat of her body glow through her lips, they are hotter than the sun itself, but nothing is fucking hotter than this body that I am holding in my hands. I push away all my inhibitions and im her mouth, devouring every inch of her. My hands move up from her waist and to her breasts. I squeeze them firmly, and she moans in my mouth. As I cup them in my hands, I feel her grind and squirm. Then I pull her hair off her shoulder and kissed the length of her neck. I push her down on the bed; her body quivers beneath mine. I crawl down her body, careful not to miss an inch of her glowing skin. Just as I am about to lift her shirt over her shoulders, I look at her with a cheeky smile on my face. Not yet. After fooling around for the next few hours, I slip out of her tent to go get ready for the briefing that ising up in an hour. Gibbs¡¯s squad will be going out on a mission, and I am going with. I have sat out for far too long. I think, no, I know that I am ready. So after a long cold shower, I head off to do the briefing. Not long after that, we find ourselves heading out to Fallujah. It will be in and out. Routine as always. This time, just clearing a building that has been said is used for the storage of ammunition. The weather is once more not on our side, and we are hoping that this is just false information again. But we need to check it out and clear the building nheless. As usual, the boys are amped and ready for some action. Well, I am too, but yes, the mind is truly not clear. The reason? Sitting across from me with one fucking sexy smile on her face. Yes, I am distracted. But not for long. We soon turn up the road that shall lead us to the building that is at the far end of the road. We have been told that there should be no resistance; if any, it will be minimal. So we will head in directly from the front. With a slight nervous itch under my cor, I let Gibbs take the lead on this one. He, as clockwork, take us into the building, clearing room by room as we go. Then, after we starting to the conclusion that the building might be empty, we decide to split up. Now, of course, I am going to take Emma with me. We immediately head off to the right and find only but three rooms on this side of the building to clear. Once we are in the third, I let out a very needed sigh of relief. I see her watching me intently, and it is those brown eyes that set me off. In one¡­two¡­three slow and steady steps, and I have her back up against the wall. Her voice hitch, and her breath quickens. I feel it spread warm over my cheek as I feel her whisper in my ear, ¡°Ethan, what are you doing?¡± ¡°Ssshhh, Emma. Nobody is near us.¡± I gently nip at her earlobe, and her knees buckle; a soft moan escapes those soft cherry lips. It only but fuels that desire, the burning ache that she teased so relentless this morning. With her one hand still firmly gripped onto her gun, she reaches the other to pull my face closer; I snap it right back into mine and pin it behind her back just above that fucking tight ass that drives me beyond what I am already raging. ¡°Ethan!¡± ¡°Emma, you need to be quiet, or else¡­¡± ¡°Or else what?¡± ¡°I am going to slip something into you.¡± I hear her only but whimper. With only but our clothes as a barrier, I can feel her heartbeat straight against her vest. And by the way, she is squirming in ce, I know that the girl was wetter than the raindrops beating against the window. Of course, I would not take her if there was no noise around; the rain is providing the perfect cover. Yes, this is nned in so many ways, but I did warn her; I told her that I would take her the next chance that I can. Just looking into those eyes, I can see that she is nervous, lust mixed with the right amount of adrenalin pumping through her veins. Her senses are heightened, and so is her body. The slightest of wink again those lips and her knees will give in.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. So it is with wink by wink that I slowly draw my lips closer. With each whimpered breath, my lips move in anticipation. I need to feel her softness, taste her essence. And each inch of a second takes me closer. Then¡­I stop for a brief moment; her lips part, and she softly whispers. ¡°Please.¡± And that is all that I need to hear to make me crumble. I instantly let go of her hand and tangle my fingers in the lengths of her ponytail, and I yank her closer. An inch of a wink before they crash together, I pull away. I can see her lips tremble. I bite into my lips to make it stop to quiver, then is pierce my gaze into those chocte brown eyes. ¡°Kiss me.¡± She moves that inch forward, and I pull another wink away. ¡°Kiss me like you mean it.¡± At first, I thought that she was going to be rough and needy, yet she starts kissing me with a passion so raw that it rips open my soul. My bodypletely surrenders¡­for only but a minute¡­then¡­I take her. ¡°Did¡­¡± my lips shudder as I softly speak against hers. ¡°Did you really think I was going to let you take control?¡± I do not give her one moment to answer. I push every part of my aching body that craves to be near her into the curves of her body. She lets go of my neck and grabs me firmly around the waist; with each sensual movement, she drops her hand slowly until it is resting firmly on my ass. The touch sends a wave of warmth to my core, and what was lying firmly in ce only but a second ago now finds itself firmly out of control. The moment she feels my pulsating erection pressing into her thigh, she pushes herself into me even closer. ¡°Fuck, Emma, don¡¯t do that.¡± ¡°Why not?¡± ¡°Because you are going to make me want to do more than kiss you.¡± That wandering hand leaves my back and finds itself against that very ce that is aching for just this¡­her touch. The moment she slides the palm of her hand over the throbbing bulge, my bodypletely surrenders. ¡°Emma¡­you¡­are¡­¡± ¡°Ssshhh, Lieutenant, just kiss me.¡± I push myself deeper into her touch and let my lips take her. She tastes like hints of coffee and vani. But god, I cannot get over her touch. Fuck her lips, her hands. If it were not for this goddamn vest, then that top would be on the floor. My mind wanders. Then in a second of an instant, she spins me around and drives me back into the corner where I had her so firmly in ce. Her lips seek thefort of mine. She slides her tongue over my bottom lip and then softly nibbles. My body screams, and that throbbing aches. She pushes her thighs into my erection in slow, agonizing gyrating circles, sending me close to the brink of falling into an abyss. ¡°Emma, you are ying with fire.¡± ¡°I have already been burned; you might as well let me y.¡± ¡°God, I want you to y, but we can¡¯t do it here.¡± ¡°Just for a second, let me just feel you for a second longer.¡± Her lips seek mine once more; this time, she does not y; she takes. She slides her tongue through the seems of my lips in slow elegance. Then she conquers. With deep and long strokes, we entwine and move in a torturous slow but perfect rhythm. Yet, she keeps the steady grip she has on my erection. She is rubbing her palm over the ridges of my hard length; her fingers wrap around every inch of my throbbing shaft; she is taking what she can through theyers of my pants. Fuck! I wish that she can take them off. She is raising me to a limit, and if she goes on for but a second further, then I am going to let go. ¡°Fuck! You need to stop.¡± ¡°Just one more minute.¡± ¡°No, we need to get back. We have been gone for far too long.¡± With that, she lets her hand slip away from me, and do I wish that she did not have to. But I am so close, not only in taking her but in losing every inch of control. I think that she has just opened that box. So after a few frustrating minutes, we make our way back to the boys that, strangely, are not all back at the Humvees yet. Well, at least they would not have waited for us, knowing what we probably did inside that room that was far too hot than what this body can handle. As wet step into the Humvee again, I cannot stop taking my eyes off her. Well, in fact, that fucking tight ass that she is so elegantly swaying in front of me. But¡­I do not take note of my surroundings. And¡­ It all goes ck¡­ Chapter 106 Mind In The Mud On my ass, in the mud. That is what you get if you stare at a woman¡¯s hips and do not look where you are going. Was it worth it? Well, my fucked up leg might tell you otherwise, but yes, I think I got in a full eye¡¯s view. So with a very much bruised and most definitely blistered leg, I get into the Humvee. Now, I don¡¯t know by the smile on her face if she is amused or slightly concerned. But the moment she leans forward and ces her delicate fingers on the top of my prosthetic leg, she softly whispers, ¡°Ethan, are you okay?¡± ¡°We will see as soon as we get back. But yes, next time, refrain from swaying that ass so much.¡± She only but bursts out inughter, the rest of the Humvee only but whimper little chuckles underneath their breath. But the moment that Gibbs tries to even utter, I give him one full p against his head. ¡°Get us out of here before I p you even harder.¡± ¡°Well, Lieutenant, are you sure you don¡¯t want to make a bigger fool of yourself.¡± ¡°I know who is going to look like a fool when he gives me fifty; wait, let us make that three sets of fifty.¡± ¡°Ah, that is a breeze, but yes, Lewis, get us out of here. This mud is driving me to shit.¡± With that, we turn the Humvee around and make our way slowly back to camp. Now, I can feel by the throbbing in my stump that I hurt my leg like beyond tomorrow¡¯s shit. I sure have done it this time. I was just about to take that step inside the Humvee when my one foot slipped, and I spectacrly fell with my ass in the mud. I can be d I did not fall on my face smack bang first into the floor of the Humvee. Ya, this woman is distracting. And it is with a very distracting mind that we finally get to the camp. I, of course, refuse to go to the nurse¡¯s tent and make the way to my own. Once I am inside, I go to work at removing my body armor. My body slightly shudders as the cold creeps underneath my wet shirt. With somewhat freezing hands, I scrunch the edges of it together and lift it over my head. I drop the wet piece of cloth into a bundle on the floor and make my way closer to the side of my bed. But, just as I am loosening my buckle, I feel the incredible pain shoot from the base of my stump to my core. I cringe for but a brief moment and shove my wet, muddy pants over my ass, dropping it in one sweep movement down my legs. I sit down with my back facing the door; as I take in a deep breath, I rx my leg and feel the pain shoot through my body once again. I softly whisper, ¡°You damn idiot Ethan.¡± I look down with a mind filled with emotions at my leg, holding it gently in my hands. Then I press the depress release button of my prosthesis. Gently but slowly, I move it just a little from the remaining part of my leg and release the button. As I roll the liner and my sock from the stump, I am soon faced with the damage my little stunt has done. Not as bad as I thought, just a few rough red bruises. Next, I feel a gentle tuck at my hair; I know it is her, I can smell her sweet perfume. But before I can spin around to face her, she rubs her soft lips against the back of my neck. It sends tiny ripples against my spine. Then she takes my chin and turns my face to meet her eyes. My body melts as I look at her beautiful face. With nothing but a stutter, I whisper, ¡°Emma, what are you doing?¡± ¡°Making your leg feel better.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. ¡°We can¡¯t, Emma.¡± ¡°Ssshhh, Lieutenant.¡± She kisses me gently, carefully, but it is not gentleness that I want. I knot my fists in her shirt and pull her closer. She softly moans. Then her arms circle my waist; her skinys hot and heavy against me. She is melting. After a few moments of silence, she kisses me again. It feels as if lightning strikes and the sky breaks open. She steals my breath away and gives it back. She looks drops her head slowly and stops me from trying to hide my stump, ¡°Don¡¯t, don¡¯t ever be shy for me.¡± My breath hitch and my body numbs as she gently moves her hands closer. The sensations that I feel as she runs her delicate fingers over the tip, it sends a flush of heat to my core. She makes me believe that touching me so deeply that she desires to be with me in more ways than just the craving that flesh brings. She makes me feel, when she touches me, when she caresses the edge of my stump, which has defined me as a man, she makes me feel when she touches me so deeply that she epts that I am more than enough of what she needs. Then I flip her over. I lock my hands around her wrists and pin them about her head. She squirms and tries to release herself from my firm grip, but I am far stronger. I can see it is driving her crazy, and it mes the desire to take her. ¡°This is for torturing me with those hips.¡± I lean in and kiss her, soft, slow; then Ipletely devour her. With my free hand, I start pulling up her shirt, pushing her bra cups to the side to expose her breasts. My god, she is firm but yet so soft. As I gently begin to caress them, she leans deeper into my touch. Her body is squirming as she quivers. As I let go of her hands, she grabs my hair and yanks me closer, taking my lips for hers to taste. Laying between her legs, I softlyy my lips against her erect nipples. My warm breath is lying hot against her bare skin. I tease each of her nipples until they are glistening and standing atplete erection. I want her. I can feel the rush of arousal build up in my core. Strong lust and simple desire take control of my body and mind. Then my tongue trails down to her belly, I run it over her navel. Tasting every inch of her glorious body. Moving down toward the stic of her panties. I slowly start to undo the button of her pants; I feel as her body shudders at the anticipation. Then I slip her pants over her that tight ass and cup them in my hands. She gasps as I move my fingers down between the fabric of her panties and her hot, burning skin. She runs her hands through my thick dark brown hair; I growl deep from my chest and whisper. ¡°I want to be inside of you.¡± I can barely finish my sentence, and her lips crash against mine. Her soft lips move against mine. Then she kisses me hard. ¡°Oh god, Emma,¡± I moan into her mouth as her tongue grazes mine. I lose myselfpletely in the kiss, in the moment. I can feel her panties are gettingpletely soaked. Then I gently ease her legs apart and slip my fingers between her damp folds and slide my finger deep into her wetness. My thumb surrounds her sweet spot in a perfect rhythm. I watch as her eyes roll back in her head. ¡°That is it, Emma. Enjoy it.¡± I twist and turn my finger; then, I stop my delicious rotation. ¡°Ethan, please don¡¯t stop.¡± I drive inside her once again. I nip and tease her nipple until they are standing hard at attention. I can feel her thighs and belly tense. Her body quivers. Then I stop again. ¡°God, Ethan, please.¡± Then I drive my finger deep into her wetness. Thrusting once, twice, three times. I feel her muscles contract, and she pushes against my hand. She shudders against me in a long high pitched orgasm. I feel her legs are quaking. As she finally slows, I look up at her face and see her face glowing. I drop down next to her on the small single bed. She is still gasping for air, but yet she is smiling. And I am smiling too. There is nothing more I want than take her, but I have a briefing in ten minutes. And god, let us hope that no one heard her moans. But I will take her; we have another four months to go that I can keep on taking her still. Just as I am about to get up to dress into dry clothes, my cellphone rings. As I reach on over, I am surprised to see who is calling. Now, do I answer? Or just let it go to voicemail? So as Emma disappears out of the tent unnoticed, I decide, much against my better judgment, to answer. ¡°Hi, Ana.¡± Chapter 107 Persistently Planned I watch as my phone is persistently lighting up with Ana¡¯s name. There is the biggest desire to just ignore her and pretend that she never called. But she has phone three times now and it does have me rather concerned. So as I watch Emma disappear down the camp, I swipe up and take Ana¡¯s call. ¡°Hey, Ana.¡± ¡°Hey, Ethan. I did not think that you would answer.¡± ¡°Well, you did phone three times, so I thought that it would be pretty pointless ignoring you.¡± I hear as she bursts outughing. Now, that is a sound that I have not heard in a while. I can only imagine how she is holding her chest as theughter start rumbling from deep in her belly. She always did know how to brighten one¡¯s day with one of those deep heartfelt disys ofplete happiness. Does this then mean that she is happy? I think there is a part of me that thought that she might be phoning because James have left her heartbroken. But, let me not jump to a conclusion yet. ¡°So, to what do I owe this phone call?¡± ¡°I wanted to check how you are doing?¡± ¡°That I it?¡± ¡°Yes, why?¡± ¡°No, I just thought¡­¡± ¡°That I would phone you because my heart is broken?¡± ¡°Yes, something like that.¡± Then she goes and she does it again. Why the fuck is she doing this? To mess with my head? ¡°So, I guess that things between you and James are still going strong?¡± ¡°Do you seriously want me to talk to you about another man.¡± ¡°Perhaps not, I just want to know if you are still happy.¡± ¡°Yes. And I am sure that the day that I am not, I will probably phone you with that broken heart.¡± ¡°Well, I will then say that I will be honoured. Now, forget about how I am doing, how are you?¡± And she knows in an instant that I am no longer talking about James. I, and I can honestly say this, is still far from okay with losing our baby. That is something that Emma knows, and I am sure the rest of the camp too. It is one of those things that I do not mention because it hurts like shit still. And I have not really spoken to Ana since she told me, so I don¡¯t know how she is feeling. ¡°How do you feel about it, Ethan?¡± ¡°Ana, we are talking about you. I am a man, I am hard ass. But I know that you are gentle and you pretend to be hard ass and you really suck at pulling it off.¡± ¡°Geez thank you. But yes, I have been pretty sucky at showing that I am okay. I think the mornings are the worst for me.¡± ¡°How so?¡± ¡°It reminds me of the morning sickness. It is weird how it can be one of the things that you enjoyed.¡± ¡°Now that sounds seriously messed up, but I must admit it was the times that Iughed at you the most.¡± ¡°You know which one made meugh the most?¡± ¡°No?¡± ¡°The big ugly green truck with all the tyres and big gun.¡± I nearly topple over and of my bed from theughter. Even though it brings a sting to my heart, I can remember that day like it was yesterday. ¡°Ya, that was a bit embarrassing. At least that bum is not so big anymore.¡± And maybe I should have not said that for now I have images in my head that should not be there at all. From everything on her body, apart from those full velvety lips, she has one of the sexiest asses I have ever seen and god, even touched. ¡°Fuck, I did not mean it like that, Ana.¡± ¡°No, don¡¯t worry.¡± Then she goes quiet for several seconds, I know that she has something on her mind, but I am not going to pressure her for thest thing I want now is start having an argument with her since we are having a strangely pleasant conversation. Then out ofplete nowhere she asks me the question, that I wish I never had to ever speak to her about. ¡°So Lewis¡¯ girlfriend says that the girl that helped you out with the mole is back at camp.¡± Fuck! ¡°Yes she is, she is part of Gibbs¡¯s squad now.¡± ¡°Oh, do you still go out with them.¡± ¡°I did not for a while but I started now with thest mission.¡± ¡°That is good, but I am sure you have your handful with the boys after her.¡± ¡°Not really. I, well, I forbid them to even try. She is a pretty strong girl, she wont fall for any of their advances.¡± Then she goes quiet for several seconds again, I know what the next question is going to be. So I patiently wait for her to ask. ¡°So, Lewis¡¯ girlfriend said that you kind of have something going on with her.¡± ¡°Ana, I am not going to lie to you, we have been intimately together. I have been spending a lot of time with her.¡± ¡°Do you love her?¡± God, what kind of question is that. What do I say? I have not even thought of something this far. I mean I have only been with Emma for a couple of weeks now. We have not evene close to, well we have definitely thought about it, but we have not has sex yet. This has just now be an awkward conversation. ¡°I don¡¯t know what I feel for her.¡± It is a lie. I do. But here is the thing. And I remember this conversation very well. And I remember the fight even better. It is said that you simply cannot wake up one morning and decide that you do no longer love someone, but what do you do when you wake up and realize that you love someone more than you should¡­when you love the woman that is forbidden fruit¡­ Is Emma forbidden fruit? Well, that depends, or does it? I can see with all honesty that I do still love Ana, but I am feeling something for Emma. How do I tell the one woman you love that you might love another?Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. You don¡¯t. ¡°Ana, I promise you that you shall be the first one to know, if this messed up heart ever sorts itself out.¡± ¡°No, don¡¯t ever feel that you have to do that. I was, well, maybe a little bit jealous, but I cannot sit and expect you to not move on.¡± ¡°Then let me ask you this, do you love James?¡± ¡°I think I do.¡± ¡°Well, then promise me the day that you know, you will tell me too. We might not be able to be lovers, but maybe we can be friends.¡± ¡°Ethan, you know that a man and a woman cant be friends, especially if theye from where we did.¡± I don¡¯t know if I should take this as a rejection, I am trying to show her that I am here for her no matter what. Yes, if we do move onpletely, it does not mean that we cannot still be friends. We shared a very traumatic experience together, which was once the best time of our lives and there is nothing and no one that can take that away. ¡°Ana, can I tell you one thing though. I know that I can say for definite that I love you, I still do and god knows that I will always.¡± ¡°Then why are we not together?¡± ¡°I think you know the answer to that. But also, we have met new people in our lives and we at least owe it to them to try and see what they really mean to us. You would not be with James just for the fact of being someone, would you?¡± ¡°I guess so.¡± ¡°Emma, well, one day when I feelfortable, I will tell you about Emma. She is not your, she will never be you. And she will never take away what we had.¡± Then I hear a loud thud of a door opening and closing behind her and someone calling after her. ¡°Ethan, I must go. James is home. It was nice talking to you. Please take care. I will phone you when I get a chance again.¡± With that she drops the call leaving me with two thoughts, why is she hiding her phone call from James, and two, why did she really phone me? But that is pushed to the back of my mind as the thought of loving another womanes rushing back to my mind. Do I love Emma? Is it lust of is it love? If I have toy the picture of two woman next to each other on a table, if I stare at it long enough and let the feelings that I feel for them pour out of my heart. If I can find them in my soul, if there is such a bond between me and one of them. Which picture would I pick up from the table? Which woman would it be? Chapter 108 Stuck Between The Old And New It has been tough since I spoke to Ana. I can honestly say that I have pushed Emma away since then. Now, I wish I can say that I don¡¯t know why. But I do. I still have feelings for Ana. Now, what feelings? I have been too scared to think about it. I have been too scared to explore my heart to find out what they are. We have three months and a week to go; things have been what I expected. The excitement, the passion, and the risks. But what I have not expected is Emma. Now, this is another feeling I am now scared to explore. And that brings me to this. Why do I need a woman to make me a man? Why do I need a woman to make me forget about another? Not that I am saying that Emma is a rebound, but I have heard the stories going around at camp. Now Emma and I have not gone all the way yet, and now more than before, I am asking myself why? What has changed that I don¡¯t desire her so badly? I wish I knew all the answers. As for something else that has just¡­changed¡­ I don¡¯t want to go out on a mission. This does worry me the most. Are these two women making me want what I normally would want the most? Are they making me want it less? Are they messing with my head¡­and dare I say my life? Needless to say, I am a ball of emotion, and perhaps that is a good idea if I don¡¯t go out. So, after trying to clear my head for hours under the damn tree. I make my way over to the ops tent. As I get halfway, I am met with Emma. ¡°Lieutenant, I was just bringing you your coffee.¡± ¡°Thanks, Emma,¡± I take the warm cup of coffee from her. Now I would normally wait for her under the tree, but today I thought I would run away before she even gets there. I think by now that she has started to sense that something is different, but she has not yet said a word. The thing I need to ask myself. What happens after camp? What happens when our six months are over? Where does she go, and where do I? I know that I am going back home to Matty and my parents. Where does she go? Will shee with me if this does get more serious? I guess we never thought about that. Perhaps it is time to ask. ¡°Emma, I will see you after the mission?¡± ¡°Are you noting with?¡± ¡°No, I am sitting this one out. Lopez is not feeling so well, so I would rather stay.¡± She knows I am talking bullshit, but hey, I am giving myself as much distance as I need. ¡°Sure, I will get you in your tent?¡± ¡°Sure. Now please be careful out there.¡± ¡°Always are, Lieutenant.¡± With that, I turn around and make my way into the ops tent. I can see Lopez smiling at me and only shakes his head. ¡°Trouble in paradise already?¡± ¡°No, more like Ana trouble in paradise.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you are still hung up on that telephone conversation?¡± ¡°Ya, that very one.¡± I stop for a few moments to try and find the right words to say this, ¡°Do you think I am making a mistake with Emma. I mean, everybody is saying that she is a rebound.¡± ¡°Hey, she is a fucking hot rebound.¡± ¡°You are not helping me. Be honest here.¡± ¡°I think Ana did you wrong, but then again, love forgives all. You just need to decide whom you love because I hate to be the one to tell you; you know that it is starting to build between you and Emma.¡± ¡°Why do you always have to be so fucking honest?¡± He only butughs at me as we head outside in the goddamn pouring rain to brief the men before the mission. And guess what, just to make it worse, the damn man makes me speak. And speak I do with soft stutters, ¡°Boys, the shit is wet outside there. Keep your heads down and dry and take those fuckers out. I want that entire street cleared and when I say clear, level those fucking buildings. The only people walking out there are you. Now go get them. Oorah!¡± Well, with that, if they thought that my head was not in the game, now it for damn sure is. As I give Emma onest nce and smile at her, the Humvees start filling up, and the boys move out. Now the agonizing hours begin. We move back inside and take our sides next to the radios. Now there are two that stay behind in the Humvee, obviously the driver and one that can man the gun if need be. Now this man needs to radio in frequently to give us an update on the mission. And the times between those updates are the worst, for anything can happen in a second. The first radioes in just before they drive into town. Lewis is still chirpy, and all seems to be going fine. They need to travel in about six blocks before they get to the street that they will move down today. Now, the first five we have cleared already; today, we do the sixth. What is supposed to happen is the Marines in the Humvees will clear the building just to make sure that there are no civilians inside. Then after that, our big green trucks, yes, I still call it that, but they shall move in and level the building. And so they will go until every building has been cleared and leveled. Then, just as they are about to reach the sixth street, Lewis radios in again. ¡°Lieutenant. Come in.¡± ¡°Go ahead, Lewis.¡± ¡°We are clear. Over.¡± ¡°Say again. Over.¡± ¡°No resistance, we are clear. Over.¡± ¡°Roger. Over. Out.¡± Now we wait for them to turn onto the streets, from where the Marines will move out in between the buildings. This is a critical stage for you do not know who is standing and waiting to aim at you. Being taken out between the Humvee and the building¡¯s entrance is always a big risk. And this has my damn nerves in a ball. You do not feel this when you out there. You have the adrenaline and excitement pumping through your body. This, here, waiting is nearly unbearable. Then next Lewis radios in again. ¡°Lieutenant. Come in.¡± ¡°Go ahead, Lewis.¡± ¡°We have infiltrated. Over.¡± ¡°Roger. Over. Out.¡± The boys are safely into the buildings now. So I sent out a few more squads than we normally do to get this one over and done with as soon as possible. The weather is definitely not on our side, and the boys are feeling a bit more edgy since we received news that the upation inside the city has increased. They will soon be infiltrating into these small little towns. The quicker that we can clear and level them, the better. So, yes, we are all not feeling it, and me especially with my own personal problems. But that aside, I need to get the boys through this. They should now be moving onto the second and third floors of the building; the chances for resistance is far greater now, for the enemy would sit higher than level. I look at Lopez, and he points to his watch; they have gone over a minute that they have not radioed in yet, so I grab the radio. ¡°Lewis. Come in.¡± ¡°Go ahead, Lieutenant.¡± But I am taken aback by him being out of breath. ¡°Status. Over.¡± ¡°Taken fire. Over.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. ¡°Is it under control. Over.¡± ¡°Affirmative. Over.¡± ¡°Roger. Over. Out.¡± Well, that just send me on myst nerve. I feel like jumping into my own Humvee and take chase to go help them. But the boys are very capable, and they have it all under control. So much to Lopez¡¯s annoyance, I start to pace the length of the tent, patiently waiting for the next update. And the next update does not seem toe soon enough. I show for Lopez to radio, but hees back only momentster, giving me the sign that all is clear now. ¡°Well, thank fuck. Do they have everything under control?¡± ¡°Yes, they are approaching thest two buildings. The boys will be back soon.¡± Now, next, I make my first big mistake. I sigh a breath of relief. Second, I take the next call from Lewis. ¡°Lieutenant. Come in.¡± ¡°Go ahead, Lewis.¡± This time there is apletely different emotion in his voice¡­fear. ¡°Lewis. Status. Over.¡± ¡°Man down. Over.¡± ¡°Fuck. Who?¡± ¡°Emma. Over.¡± ¡°Is she¡­¡± Then the damn radio goes dead. ¡°Lewis. Come in.¡± Only static. ¡°Lewis. Come in.¡± Still nothing but static. ¡°Fuck Lewis. Come in.¡± Chapter 109 Crashing Down Complete static. That is all I hear. It feels as if my world hase crashing down on me. I am not losing a man today. I am not losing a squad, and most of all, I am not losing Emma. So it is with absolute frustration that I sit in a few agonizing moments and frantically try to get hold of Lewis and the Marines that were with him. I call for another unit to give me an update. ¡°Matthew. Come in.¡± ¡°Go ahead, Lieutenant.¡± ¡°Status on Lewis and his team.¡± ¡°They are under control now.¡± ¡°And Emma?¡± ¡°Taken a shot to the chest. But her stats is fine.¡± ¡°Thank god! Get your asses back here.¡±All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Affirmative Lieutenant.¡± ¡°Roger. Over. Out.¡± With that, I sigh in relief, once again, I should not, but I know the boys areing back home and that Emma is still alive. Now, this is a different kind of relief that I feel. Perhaps not the one that I truly thought that I would. So it is with anticipation that I wait for them to return to base. Counting the minutes off isplete torture. Lopez is staring at me oddly strange. ¡°Ya, no feelings there?¡± ¡°Hey, I am just relieved the woman is fine,¡± I stop for a few seconds and look him straight in the eyes. ¡°I know now what it is that I need to do.¡± ¡°Well, do you care to share it with me?¡± ¡°Nah, I need to see her, then I will know for sure.¡± With that, I find myself wandering to the mess hall to get a goddamn cup of strong coffee; I would so put whiskey in here for I could surely do with it now. So after much debate with myself and trying to convince myself that this is what I want more than anything right now, I hear as the first Humvee start toe into the camp. It is in absolute haste that I rush over; much to my annoyance, only the third one thates in is her. She is unconscious, and from what I can see, she still looks pretty much still intact as for what my eyes can see. I only give Lewis one look and nod my head at him; the man can see the relief that if built up in my eyes. I have not felt these feelings since I knew I was losing Ana. How is it that I am always losing the woman in my life? Am I just destined to be alone with no one by my side? Well, that is thest thing that I need to think of now; I watch as they take Emma into the nurse¡¯s tent. I wait and watch as the doctor takes what seems forever to take her armor vest off. As he goes to inspect her wound, I see it is not as bad as I thought. She has taken a shot in the shoulder. The impact must have knocked her out. She will pull through just fine. I stay with her for the entire procedure to get the bullet removed, and once the most of the Marines have gone back to their tents, I sit down next to her. For a brief moment, I take her hands in mine. ¡°God, woman, you gave me a fright. I am going to kick your ass when you are awake.¡± With that, a single tear runs down my still pale face. I need to set things right; I need to tell her how I truly feel and what she potentially means to me. Either way, I see it; I will be pushing one of the women out of my life again; I might not have Anaplete anymore; I still feel that she is a woman that is very much present in my life. After what is several hours, I leave her side and make a turn past the ops tent. It ispletely deserted, so I move forward and find myself on my way to my own tent. As I fall onto my bed, I once again remind myself how goddamn lucky I am that Emma is still alive. Then, I pull my phone from my pocket, and yes, I know, that asshole told me to leave her alone, well who does he think he is? I am not about to listen to him. As I swipe for her number, I wait patiently for her to answer. ¡°Hey, Ethan.¡± ¡°Hey, you. How are you doing? Can you talk?¡± ¡°Yes, he is not here.¡± Well, I do not know why, but I feel excited that at least I can talk to her in peace without that man interrupting her. I still do not know why he has such power over her. Ana has always been a very independent woman; she would take nobody¡¯s shit. God, she never even took mine. She has changed so much; it is like she has lost her identity. ¡°How are you doing Ana, you don¡¯t sound yourself.¡± ¡°I am fine, just been a long day. You know.¡± ¡°No, I don¡¯t know; tell me what is wrong.¡± ¡°Tell me what is wrong; you don¡¯t sound yourself, Ethan.¡± I see what she is doing. Now I wish she did not turn it around for I hate to have to tell her the story about Emma, but this is why I have phoned her, this is the reason I want to speak to her. ¡°We came under fire on our mission out today.¡± ¡°God, is everything okay?¡± ¡°Yes, we had a man down, but he will be okay.¡± ¡°Shit, who is it?¡± ¡°Well, it is actually her.¡± I hear as she goes quiet, and I can hear she gets ufortable; well, that is why I referred to he hoping that she was not going to ask questions, but hey, this is Ana; she is going to ask who. She has always taken an interest in my life and in things that happen to me. ¡°Oh,¡± I hear her say, ¡°That is the girl that you are seeing?¡± ¡°There is only one girl at camp,¡± I say as I try to clear the tension, yet I think it is toote for I can hear it clearly in her voice. ¡°Hey, Ethan, I think I must be going.¡± ¡°Ana, please, please just talk to me. I need to hear your voice.¡± ¡°God, you are making this hard. But okay, only until hees home.¡± ¡°Fuck him; why are you so goddamn scared of the man?¡± She starts to stutter, and I know that there is something that she is not telling me, and the stubborn Ana that I know is not going to tell me. I wish that she just trusted me like she used to before. God, there are so many things that I wished they will still like they used to be. So after a few seconds of ufortable silence, she continues asking me about Emma, ¡°Is she okay? This girl, is she going to be okay?¡± ¡°Yes, the wound is not serious. The worse she will have is an awful scar.¡± ¡°Why are you not with her? I mean, you should be by her side.¡± ¡°I was, but I needed to get away, and I wanted to hear your voice.¡± ¡°Ethan, you know that we cannot do this.¡± The moment she says those words, I immediately start to feel frustrated; without even realizing it, I hitch my voice a tone, ¡°Do what, Ana, I cannot speak to the woman that I loved?¡± I hear her gasp, and I know that the words came wrong from my lips. ¡°Ana, I don¡¯t mean it like that. I do still love you, and you know that.¡± ¡°I know Ethan, but it is not the same love that we use to have. And I understand because it has obviously be the same for me.¡± Well, now it is me that is taken aback by her words. Did she truly just agree with some stupid statement I made? It came all out wrong, not at all how I intended it to be. So I try to gather my thoughts, ¡°Is that really how you feel?¡± ¡°Feel like what?¡± ¡°That our love has changed? I mean, how do you feel it has changed?¡± ¡°It is obvious that we are not together, so we feel the way that friends should feel for each other.¡± ¡°Is that what we are? Are we friends?¡± ¡°Well, I don¡¯t see what else we are. We are apart, but we still talk to each other, so I think that is what you call friends.¡± I smile to myself as I knew exactly what she just said, and she probably did not even realize it. ¡°Ana, you said apart; why did you not say broken up?¡± ¡°Broken up, apart. It is the same difference.¡± ¡°Well, Ana, it is not the same difference to me. See, do you know there was a reason I phoned you?¡± ¡°Because you wanted to hear my voice, the voice of a friend because your friend has just been shot.¡± ¡°Yes, my friend has been shot, but I wanted to hear the voice of the woman I love.¡± I can hear she is biting down on that lip as she is thinking; she is starting to talk herself into trouble. I only but chuckle at her and take a deep breath. ¡°Ana, my boo, please can we try again?¡± Chapter 110 Fighting For A Second Chance The moment that I heard that Emma had gotten hurt, I could not bear thinking of how I would feel if I ever had to lose Ana out of my lifepletely. I know it was the messed-up time to realize this, but I knew that I had to let go of this thing I thought I felt for Emma. I was making her a way to run away from my pain, to deal with the heartache whenever Ana pushed me away. Now here I am sitting, and I am asking the woman that I said I never want to see in my life again to take me back and somehow, even perhaps, forget that any of this has happened. My heart will not take to be even further rejected. I simply cannot live without this woman, and if she will give me half a minute, I will prove this to her. Is she will only say a word. ¡°Ana, did you hear what I said?¡± ¡°Yes, I think I did. Well, at least that is what my mind says.¡± ¡°Please, say something?¡± ¡°Ethan, I, I think I must go. James is going to be home any minute.¡± ¡°The bar does not close for hours. Please tell me why you are so hung up on this man and do not tell me that you love him.¡± I hear her as she is slightly stuttering; she is not startled from being shocked, but she is about to cry, and I know that I should not push her any further. I need to know why, why is she scared of this man, but most of all, I need to know if she will take this fool back. ¡°Listen here, boo, you don¡¯t need to answer now, but please promise me that you will at least consider.¡± ¡°Ethan, I need¡­¡± ¡°I know you need time, and I will give you all of it that you need, just please do not forget that I love you.¡± And when I think that my day cannot get any better for one brief moment, she says the words, only to but shock the living shit out of me. ¡°I love you, Ethan. But I need help. And with that, the call drops, and there is dead silence. I try, and I try again, but I cannot get back through to her. Her damn phone is off. I am now terrified. What is it that she needs help with? What has got her scared? If there were a damn wall, I would have punched it about now, ¡°Goddammit, Ana, what do you need help with?¡± I am fucking stuck on this side of the world; what use am I to her. I have no idea what she is talking about. What does she need help with? What has got her so terrified? So I swipe up and dial Matty¡¯s number; it takes him but a while; now I know what the man is probably up to at the very moment. It is with utmost frustration that I get up and start pacing the length of my tent. ¡°For fuck sakes, Matty, answer your phone!¡± But it goes to his mailbox, and I am left even more frustrated. I try Ana for what is the fifth time again, but her phone yet remains off. I am hoping that the battery just died and that she cannot find the charger as she always does. Utterly pissed off beyond belief, I make my way to the ops tent, where I only continue to pace up and down, much to Lopez¡¯s annoyance. Only after five minutes of waiting for me to speak, he finally breaks the silence. ¡°Okay, Hunter, what is the problem? Are there problems in Emma paradise for the girl has awoken and is asking for you.¡± For a brief moment, I feel some relief, but that is as for as it goes, just for a brief moment. I only but ignore Lopez and continue to walk the rubber of my shoes off. ¡°Hunter, you are starting to scare me. Has something happened in camp that I need to know of?¡± After carefully considering if I really want to break the news to him, I pull a chair closer and grab his bottle of water that he has been sipping on. ¡°I asked Ana to take me back.¡± ¡°You did what?¡± ¡°I asked Ana if we can try again.¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°But I thought, well, Emma and you?¡± ¡°No, everyone was right; I was making her a rebound. I realized that I cannot bear to ever lose Ana.¡± Just then, I hear a scuffle behind me; I watch as Lopez¡¯s eyes grow wider then the buckle of his belt. By the look on his face, I know that I am just about to get myself into a world of trouble. Well, I guess I have to turn around and face whoever it is that has got Lopez so scared. ¡°Emma! Why the fuck are you not in bed?¡± She only but shakes her head at me. Ya, I guess the woman heard what I said. First, I shock the one, and now I make the other pissed. They say that it is more exciting to have more than one woman in your life; well, I say it is enough to damn near kill you. So as she rushes off into the direction of the nurse¡¯s tent, I take my foolish pride and chase after her. Now, this is exactly what I knew was going to happen. I knew there woulde a time when someone would break the other¡¯s heart. I never knew that it would be me doing the breaking. As I step inside the tent, I see her standing next to the bed, now I am fully expecting her to be crying, but she turns around with nothing but a weing smile on her face. Under a soft, whispered breath, she speaks to me, ¡°Guess that is what you get when you disobey orders.¡± ¡°Emma, I am so sorry. Please let me exin.¡± ¡°No, Lieutenant, you need not do anything. I knew when I stepped into this that I had a chance that it would never work.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Everyone told me that you love Ana and that you will probably never stop loving her. They said that I risked having my heart broken.¡± I look at her, confused; she is not making much sense, ¡°What do you mean? Who? Who told you this?¡± ¡°Ray, I told me that I am making a mistake if I am giving up the Raiders toe to chase a dream with you.¡± ¡°Is that really what you did? Did you gave up the Raiders just to be with me on blind faith that something will work between us?¡± ¡°Well, I first thought so myself, and believe me that you are exactly the type of man that I can see myself with. But I knew that Ray was right.¡± ¡°Right about what?¡± ¡°That you will never stop, Ana.¡± She goes to reaches out for me but much to my own damn horror, I pull away from her. Now, if I thought that she would burst out in tears now, she only but chuckles at me. ¡°I endeding here, not because I came for you. I came for me, and don¡¯t get me wrong but what happened between us means a lot to me. But what means more to me is serving with the man that will be a legend one day.¡± Yes, and that is me; now I am the one that is going to piss my eyes out, so not really worried about what it was that was between us; I pull her deep into my chest. ¡°Emma, don¡¯t think that you don¡¯t mean anything to me. I just cannot let Ana slip away from me.¡± ¡°I understand, so why are you not getting her back?¡± ¡°Her damn phone died, and my dear brother is too busy banging some strange chick in town to notice I am phoning.¡± She only but burst out inughter and slowly pulls away from me, ¡°Friends, can we be friends at least.¡± ¡°Of course, I am sorry I was not what you were looking for.¡± She looks at me and shakes her head, ¡°Get your ass out of here and get hold of Ana.¡± With a newfound urgency, I make my way back to my tent, but yet I still cannot get hold of Ana. This is unlike her to have her phone off for so long. Then finally, as I am about to scream at the top of my frustrated voice, Matty feels that he will return my call. ¡°God, does it take you so long these days?¡± ¡°Does what take me long?¡± ¡°You banging some girl.¡± ¡°Bro, you know how it goes. If you want to see her again, you must pay special attention.¡± ¡°Fuck, you are really sick. Now I need you to do a favor for me.¡± ¡°Mmm, am I going to like this?¡± ¡°Just listen, I need you to go check up on Ana. I was speaking to her when the phone just died.¡± ¡°But why does that bother you?¡± ¡°I am not going to exin to you now. Will you go check for me?¡± ¡°Sure, bro, but I must tell you that there are stories around town how that asshole has been treating her.¡± ¡°Just fucking go.¡± Chapter 111 The Hand Of A Brother ¡­Matt POV¡­ Now, I have been wanting to make this walk for a while. I don¡¯t quite know if it was to give Ana a piece of my mind or if I wanted to give James what he deserves. Guess I will find out. As I step onto the porch, I need not even have to knock for James swings the door wide open, ¡°What can I do for you, Hunter?¡± ¡°You can start by calling me by my name.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t need to call you anything. What do you want?¡± ¡°I am here to see Ana.¡± ¡°Well, she is not here.¡± Just the sight of this man makes me want to punch that goddamn ugly face of his in. I know full well she is here, and I am not going to stand here and y games with him. ¡°I want to see Ana.¡± Just then, Ana steps out from behind him. It seems that she has been crying for his makeup has run down ck over her cheeks. As I try to reach out for her, the asshole ps my hand away. ¡°Oh, no, you did not just do that.¡± ¡°What are you going to do?¡± I smash my fist square into his jaw, his face jolts back, and he falls back onto his ass. As I step over him to jab him once again, he knocks me off my feet. I find myself being dragged by the cor as he lifts me from the floor. At his attempt to pull me from the floor, I grab him by his shirt with so much force that it rips from his body; the buttons pop off one by one and drop like little peas to the floor. He immediately spins around and rids himself from his now shredded shirt. He is now from mid to top bare in front of Ana and me. She tries to step in the way but James only but pushes her to the side. Now, I would think that this man shall stop and realize his foolish mistake, but I am somewhat sadly mistaken. He only but advances for me again; this time, though, he is moving rather slow, ominous, he is taunting me. James seems like he wants to y a little game; well, by all means, let us do. I see as he patiently waits for me to remove my shirt as well. Now unlike the beast that he has just turned into, I slowly, just to annoy the man even further, I take my time in popping each of my shirt buttons open with but a few flicks of my fingers. I fold it up neatly and ce it on the chair; then, I take my stance. But before a single move is being made, I hear Ana shouting in the far corner of the lounge. ¡°Please stop it! Both of you!¡± It only falls on ears that are not about to listen. Does this man for one moment think that I shall let this go? Well, he is sadly mistaken ¡°You are making a fateful mistake, James. I need you to think of what it is that you are about to set into motion.¡± ¡°The only thing that needs to be set in motion is for you to leave this home.¡± ¡°No, I think you have it wrong; you need to leave.¡± ¡°Save your warning Matt.¡± With his words not yet from his lips, he shifts his feet at an incredible pace towards mine and reached his fist for my face. With one snap of his arm, he smashes it into my cheek. He retracts his arm tounch at me once again, but I grab it in midair. Itwist it behind his back; I step closer. ¡°You are going to regret that.¡± My grip goes firmer, and I push him off from his feet; he slides across the length of the table in the middle of the lounge and crashes over the side with a loud thud on the floor. I make my way to where he finds himself and yank him up by the shoulder; with utmost ease, I lift him in the air and toss his body to the other side of the room. He rises to his feet and reaches me in less than an inch of the second; as he looks to the side for a brief second, he fools me to do as well. Then he ms his hands around my shoulders and tosses me into the kitchen.Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Stop it, Matt; what are you doing here?¡± ¡°Oh, I am killing him, Ana. He won¡¯t have the chance to ever lift a hand to you again.¡± She only but shakes her head. But besides that. This has now moved to the kitchen, and he is moving at me from around the kitchen counter. It seems that he wants to y a game of dance, well we shall dance. ¡°James, I will not ask you again. Just leave.¡± ¡°No, Matt, I am not going anywhere. You seem to forget that Ana is mine.¡± ¡°Ana is not yours. She does not belong to anyone. Yes, she belongs with Ethan, but definitely not with you.¡± Now, if he was not enraged before, then he truly is now. ¡°I want you out. Get out!¡± ¡°You are a fool if you think I am going anywhere, James.¡± I m my fist hard into the square of his jaw. He screams out of horror, and he sees his skin is being split open slowly, bit by bit. Without even flinching, he draws his own fist and ms it into my stomach. Driving it with utmost force, piercing deep, and as he slowly pulls it out again, he drives it back in even further with his next punch. The agony makes me topple over in pain, but this is not a pain that I will show him. As I rise, I rip him by his feet and rise his body in the air. ¡°Today, I will see you in hell.¡± ¡°Oh, my dear friend, you will be going there first.¡± ¡°Ha! You think I am your friend?¡± I rise him even further into the air, with only but one hand. I watch as he squirms, I ram my fist into the bridge of his nose. Then I drop him and toss him toss him in his own pool of mess. ¡°Leave this house.¡± But the man is a fool, for her ms his fist in my chest and drags me back just as I am about to walk away. Death is thy ears, I may say; I m my fist in my chest and drive his body straight into the far side wall. Then I look at him, ¡°Now, for thest time, leave this house.¡± As he stumbles to his feet, bloody and battered, Ana only but looks at me, ¡°Matty, what have you done?¡± ¡°Teaching a man a lesson, Ana, he will never lift a hand to you again.¡± ¡°Matty, he never did, he¡­¡± Then see as Jameses to stand by her side and squeeze her arm with what is too much force for my liking. Iunch my hand forward and close it around his throat; I snap him off his feet and spin his body around. ¡°Ana, don¡¯t stand up for this filth.¡± With that, I shove James out the door and m it shut behind him. Ana looks at me in disbelief, somewhat amused but yet scared. As I slowly lead her to a chair in the lounge, I can feel her body tremble. James is furiously standing and banging on the front door, and I fear that he might even break it down. For several minutes he stands there trying to force himself in. Yes, I might have perhaps have made this worse, but I will not hesitate to call for him to be locked up. What concerns me the most is Ana. ¡°Ana, are you okay?¡± ¡°What are you doing here, Matty?¡± ¡°Ethan sent me toe to check up on you. He could not get hold of you.¡± ¡°James smashed my phone when he heard I was speaking to him.¡± ¡°But how can you say that he has not hurt you when it clearly seems like he has. The man is a damn monster. Do not stand up for him. He can be d that I did not fucking kill him.¡± ¡°Matty, it isplicated.¡± ¡°Complicated how?¡± She goes silent for but a brief moment, and then she looks at me even more concerned than before. There is something that she is not telling me. So I take my phone from my pocket and dial a very nervous man that is probably dying on the other side. It does not even take but a second, and he answers the phone. ¡°Thank god, Matty, is she okay?¡± ¡°Hey, bro. She is a little shaken, but ya, I have given the man a good beating. I am scared he is going toe back, though.¡± ¡°Fuck, can I speak to her?¡± I hand the phone to Ana, who seems a lot more calmer now; I knew that just hearing his voice that she will feel better. But what she says next does shock me to the core. ¡°Ethan, James, well, he¡­¡± Chapter 112 The Man Behind The Lie ¡­Ana POV¡­ I promised James that I would never tell Ethan; he made me understand that if I do that, he would not only have him and myself killed. But the thing is that I cannot keep this in any longer; it has been killing me to be away from him. Yes, I did betray Ethan, but I cannot betray him any longer. So I swallow deep and try to breathe underneath what is only but stuttered breaths. ¡°Ethan, James said that he would have you killed it. I have told you the truth.¡± ¡°Ana, what are you talking about?¡± ¡°He, he¡­god Ethan, I am too scared.¡± ¡°Please, I will get Matty to phone the cops. Just tell me what is going on.¡± Then out of nowhere, theree two men bursting through my front door. I can only but shout out onest word to Ethan, ¡°Help.¡± With that, Matty and I are forced into the back of a ck van. The air is stuffy, and there is a small hint of something awfully smelling hanging in the air. The air is hard to breathe, and it seems that it must have been cleaned recently, for the floor is wet. I can only but think that we have just been kidnapped, and from the chatter that ising from the driver and his passenger, they seem quite satisfied. Now it is not quite clear what their intention is, but all I know is that we are being taken to god knows where. I cannot see that it shall be anything pleasant. All I know is that James is behind this. My biggest fear is what they intend in doing with us. So as we are huddled tightly in the back of this van, I can still not put the pieces together; I have no idea as to where we are going. But as the road seem to be more bumpier, and the lights start to disappear, it starts to make more sense. They are taking us into the industrial area just on the outskirts of town. And as we are fast approaching our destination, I look at the face of Matty; I see nothing but a nk stare. So as we enter the dark road that takes us into the middle between the warehouses, the atmosphere hits a terrifying high. There is a slight burst of clouding down, and the rain starts to pound down hard on the tar road, leaving big sshes of water all around. As they pull the door open, we are dragged one by one from the van. Somehow getting drenched in the rain is far better than the reality that today might be the day we shall die. And as I look at Matty again, he tries to reassure her that all shall be fine. But the truth be told they he can not guarantee this. But what is much to my relief is when he motions to his leg. He has a gun firmly hidden in his sock; the only problem is that our hands are being tied. I do know that it shall be futile for the ropes can not easily be broken.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Yet this does not stop him from speaking, ¡°Ana, please do not be frightened; we shall get through this.¡± But the sound of his voice only seems to infuriate the one man. ¡°Keep your mouth shut.¡± And as we are forced one by one through the steel door, I see Matty gag at the smell of god knows what is rising from the floor; I hear him mumble from underneath his breath. ¡°This is just dandy; we are screwed.¡± So I look over to the rope that is tightly wrapped over my wrist then to the one on Matty¡¯s hands. Yes, I do tend to agree, ¡°I believe we are screwed.¡± And my words are not even dry, and we are thrown down on the godawful floor. It is so slippery from all the mud that you move disgustingly up and down over it. Then as soon as they had all entered, they all leave the room and shut the door firmly shut. Then my head snaps to the left, and I let out an agonizing scream. ¡­Matt POV¡­ I snap my head in the direction to where Ana is pointing; the fear of a fucking horror slips over my body. I only but now my head as I see the table. ¡°Ana, we will be fine. Ethan will phone someone.¡± ¡°Fine? Have you seen the size of those things? What on earth is that curly looking tool?¡± ¡°I hate to know, and I shall not even try to answer. But you need to keep it together; you need to try to break your ropes.¡± And with that, the two men enter the room again, but this time they have James with them. The man thenes to stand in front of me. While he nces at Ana, he speaks to me, ¡°Ana, did I not warn you to get anybody involved. Now, look at what you have done.¡± I only look at him and grind hard on my teeth, ¡°You can be d I can¡¯te to lose, for I would have fucking rearranged that goddam ugly face of yours. I always wondered what Ana saw in you.¡± ¡°Oh, yes, about that. She never had a choice,¡± then he looks at her. ¡°Now, is that not true, my dear Ana.¡± Then much to my very annoyance, he burst out inughter in my face. ¡°I suggest you shut thatughter up, or I shall tear you to shreds.¡± ¡°First of all, you are a bit tied up, and second, you are not getting out here alive even to try it.¡± That is when it sets in, there is a bigger scheme of things going on around here, and somehow it is directed at Ethan. So does this man thinks by hurting him with Ana is going to get whatever he wants. Well, so far, it has worked, which also means that I am merely in his way and that all those curly things up on that table are meant for me. And as James speaks next, the whole n starts to unfold. ¡°Untie him and bring him to me.¡± I am taken from the ground and strapped onto a chair. They pull a set of leather belts around both of my feet. And as I look down at the ones around my hands, I notice that they are covered in blood. They are far too strong to break free, for I can not even wiggle my hands in. Then the true fun starts. He goes to the table to fetch what seems to be a set of tweezers; I fear to think of what she shall be doing with them. But I need not free too long, for he stands in front of me. ¡°Hold his head still.¡± And as they do, he takes the ends and grabs firmly hold of my nail. I bite hard down on my teeth, and he starts pulling. And as I feel him tearing my nail from my skin in slow agony, I scream the loudest into myself. There is no way that he shall have the pleasure to see me show pain. But it is Ana that screams. ¡°Stop! You are hurting him.¡± James ignores her and moves to the other hand, and once again, he grabs hold of it, but this time he rips it in with a fast twist of his wrist. It feels like someone is tearing my fingers off my hand. But instead of showing pain, I foolishly decide to mock him. ¡°You do know that those will only grow back?¡± ¡°Oh, I am only ying with you. We have not started yet.¡± Yes, maybe I should not have said a thing, for now, she goes to fetch what I fear shall be used to pull my teeth perhaps. But Ana immediately tries to stop her. ¡°Please stop! Take me!¡± ¡°I am afraid that I need you to get to your dear boyfriend,¡± I watch as this crazy man walks up closer to me and faces me again. Then I slowly watch as he brings the plier closer and closer to my mouth. Then I see him slide inside. I can feel the coldness of the steel against my tongue; then, there is pressure as he gets a grip on my tooth. I hear a click as she mps down, and with that, he starts to twist and bend. But it is not as easy as he thinks. The more he struggles, the harder he curses. Then I hear Ana as she screams once again. ¡°Please stop! I will go with you.¡± I watch her in utter shock. Did she just say that? Where will she go? What is it that this man wants? With that, I see as James smiles and show for the other two men to untie me. Then he turns to me, now; if I thought he was going to let me go, I am shocked at what he says next. ¡°Kill him.¡± Chapter 113 Knocked Out Cold ¡­Matt POV¡­ I am being dragged down the stairs into a dark hole; the first thing that overpowers me is the suffocating coldness that fills the air. The walls are covered in green algae from the constant rain thates spilling in from the outside. The floor is but only covered in mud; you shall not find a bed or even a chair to sit on. There is no living thing that makes its way through here, not even a rat. And as for the smell, the only thing you shall smell is your own fear. This is by far the worst ce you shall ever find yourself in. So the dayes even faster than night disappears I have just spent my very first night in this dark and very much suffocating hole. Well, I do not quite know if the sun has risen or if it is still pitch outside. I fear that I shall spend my time in here for days and days. I fear that something should happen to me in this godforsaken ce. So, needless to say, that I am not only foolish but very much reckless for chasing in after James. But how would I have known that I shall find myself down here? Something does give me the idea that no matter what, I would still have found myself in this trouble. There is something about this man, something I am yet to ce. Let us just hope I get out of here to save Ana and get to the bottom of this. I am ripped from my crazy rambling thoughts as I hear someone opening the thick steel doors that open the passageway to the dungeon. Soon after that, I can hear the clicking sounds of someone stepping closer to me.¡¯ As the person turns the corner, I can see that it is no one other than James. ¡°Well, James, to what do I owe this pleasure?¡± ¡°Morning, Matt. I just thought I should pop in to see how our guest of honor is doing.¡± ¡°Will admit that I have seen far better days. Do remind me why you are holding me down here again?¡± ¡°Well, I thought that keeping you alive for a little while would be far more beneficial to my n.¡± ¡°n. What are you on about now?¡±All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Do you for one moment think that I am going to tell you. Well, let us just say that your brother is going to pay for what he has done to me.¡± I watch as he studies my face very carefully; his brown eyes are like daggers that pierce through the depths of my very own blue eyes. He is seeking for something, something that my face is hiding and my words are not saying. After standing for several moments in silence, she speaks with a voice that is very much concerned. ¡°You really have no idea who I am?¡± ¡°Do you think if I knew that, I would find myself in this hole with you?¡± ¡°Well, you shall soon find out.¡± ¡°What have you done to Ana?¡± ¡°That is none of your concern; you should be more worried about what I am going to do to your brother.¡± ¡°You must be a real fool. Have you not notice he is on deployment.¡± ¡°Oh, believe me, that I do, I have him exactly where I want him to be. By now, the poor man is going off his mind because he can¡¯t get hold of his Ana.¡± ¡°You better hope I don¡¯t get fucking loose before you can run away because I am going to rip every bit of piece of you away.¡± He only but grunts at me as the veryst wordse from my lips. Now more than ever, I am even far more concerned about Ethan He mumbles something under his breath while she slowly starts to retrieve something from the back of his pants. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ To say that it has not been the longest night of my life would be a clear tant lie. I have not been able to get through to Ana or Matty. I do not even want to put together to what might have happened to them. The veryst words I can remember Ana said to me lies heavier than a deep fear down on my skin. What was it that she was so afraid of? Has James harmed her in such a way that she has been too afraid to leave him? I have asked my dad to go over to see if he can see what is happening over there, yet he hase back with no more answers for me. Matty and Ana have seemed to have disappeared along with James. My next step is to phone the cops in town, but I know exactly what they are going to say to me. Matty has run off with Ana, and they don¡¯t want to be found. If I can get a fucking ne out of here right now, I would be on it. In a way, I do now understand maybe why Ana was pushing me away; she was more scared of James than she had feelings for him. I just wish she trusted me more and told me that something is wrong. I would have done everything I can to protect her. So as I am standing in the ops tent pacing the floor, I have a rather so-called concerned Emma hanging around me. Just I know she means well, but I just can¡¯t help that she sees this as a blessing, for she too does think that Matty has run off with the woman that I have chosen over her. To me, this ispletely absurd; how can anyone think it? How can they think that my brother will take the woman I love from me. I know that James is behind it; I just need to find him. If I can find him, I know that Ana will be close to him. As for Matty, god, I don¡¯t want to think¡­god, the thought just makes me sick. So as I stand here in silence for what seems to be for the next several hours, something terrifying stares me in the face. I think I might have just been mistaken and let my guard down again. Within an instant, everything around me caves in, and momentster, the world bes ck. ¡­ Matt POV¡­ As the evening grows closer, I can safely say that I have yet to spend another day in this rotten hole. I can only but assume that it is raining outside, for the floods of water are slowly making their way inside. I fear that this ce might just hold more water than I thought, and by the looks of it, I guess I shall stand throughout the night. But that might just pose as a little problem in itself, for I have felt somewhat awful the entire day; my body has grown far too weak, far too soon. I find myself pacing the way back and forth to the door. I swear if I do this any longer, I might just start to wear out the floor. Not only that, but I am only making my body take more strain and feel worn down even more. The only constant that is racing through my mind is that I wish that I did not leave my dad angry when I left home yesterday. He shall think that I was furious at him when all I wanted to show him that I wanted him to see things my way. Then just at the moment, I hear that door screeching open again; this time, I hear the click-ck of what sounds like a woman¡¯s heels, but there seem to be more than one. Have they brought Ana back to me? But soon, I am ripped from my thoughts as I was only dreaming; I am starting to lose my mind in this awful ce. I am afraid the longer I spend down here, the more I shall be more absent in my mind. Why has he not killed me? Why is he keeping me alive? Then my mind wonders to my mom; the scent of her jasmine and vani perfume still lingers on my shirt when she gave me a hug before I left. I can only imagine those blue eyes as they looked up at me. I cannot bear to think how frightened my family must be. I am sure by now they should have known that something has happened to me. I fear that I might spend my life in this hole forever, or until what this man lets happen, what he has intended for me. But yet, as I stand here while the water streams in from outside, I cannot help but feel the sorrow that Ethan must be feeling. All he ever wanted was Ana, and every time there is something that rips him away from her. I once again find myself pacing to the door; I turn on my heel¡­ Everything goes ck¡­ Chapter 114 And The Winner Is? ¡­Matt POV¡­ If I thought that this day could not get any worse, some asshole has just struck me against the head. I can only think of one man, and god, James, better hope that I never get loose. But as I look next to me, in a bundle on the floorpletely covered in the mud, is Ana lying inplete stillness. So with a pounding head, I push myself off the floor to go over to her. ¡°Ana, wake up.¡± But there is no answer. Once again, I pull at her shoulder. ¡°Ana, wake up.¡± Still no response. ¡°God, Ana, fucking wake up.¡± The dread sinks over my body, has that goddamn monster killed her. But then I hear a loud gasp and a struggle for her to catch her breath. ¡°Fuck, Ana, I thought you were¡­¡± ¡°Damn, Matty, I nearly thought I was.¡± ¡°What the hell is going on here?¡± ¡°Matty, I think that Ethan is in danger.¡± With that, a suffocating silence fills every corner of the room. As I look into her eyes, I have never seen so much terror in one¡¯s face. ¡°What do you mean Ethan is in danger?¡± ¡°I heard them talking?¡± ¡°Who are them? Is there more than one?¡± ¡°I could not make out voices clearly, but there were definitely two men talking.¡± ¡°God, I just hope my dad is looking for us.¡± Just then, I see the tears forming in the corners of her face; they are like a raging river that is about to burst its banks. I lean closer to her and softly whisper in her ear, ¡°Ana, someone will find us. You know that Ethan will not give up until he knows that you are saved..¡± I only but swallow my own tears and grind into my teeth to try to hide my very own emotion from her. Somehow even I feel hopeless. Then all of a sudden, the two men that had us earlier ones rushing into the room, ¡°Come, we need to move you.¡± With that, a new relief sets over my body; someone must be looking for us. They shackle up our hands again, they shove ck covers over our face, and lead us outside back into yet another van. We seem to drive for what seems to be hours; as I manage to see out from underneath the blindfold, I can see we are at a small little white house. There is someone at the front gate. There seems no way that we are getting out of her. We walk up on a gravel road that soon leads us up to a fair amount of stairs. The air is even colder out here, and I can smell what is possibly a dam or a river that is nearby. The rain has now started to beat down even harder on our skin, drenching our clothes even before wee to a door. Then they swing it wide open, and I am caught off guard by the ghastly smell that seems to be from everywhere. Then they lead us down an endless hallway; all I can hear is the tapping of Ana¡¯s stilettos that echoes through the empty space that fills the air. We soon find ourselves descend down to what I believe is some basement. With each step I take, the fear and dread seem to cripple my body. I doubt if we will ever get out of here alive. Then as they finally drop us down on the floor, I hear the one man speaks; it is clearly James, ¡°Your little boyfriend and brother are going to pay for this.¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ I find myself waking up in what seems like a small bunker. The stench down here is unbearable, and it has been filling up from the rain that has only but started to drop on a few minutes ago. Thest thing I can remember is standing in the ops tent frantically trying to bet hold of Matty and Ana. Have wee under attack again? Did I once again let my guard down? But why am I the only one here? God, I hope the rest of the camp is still alive. But that is not my greatest concern; what has happened to Ana? Herst words to me were help. What could she possibly need help with? Has James done to her what everybody around town has spoken of? God, if I can only get out of here, then I will find myself back on the first supply ne home. So I find myself in a far side corner of this godforsaken whole, where I have crawled into a corner that seems nearly dry enough. With each dreadful minute, I feel even more powerless. Will they leave me down here to die? I can feel as every bit of ounce of will seem to leave my body. To worsen the horrid situation, my legs seem to be throbbing. The person that has thrown me down here had no desire to be gentle. My only wish now is that I could have seen Ana one more time, just once more, before this alles to an end. Even now, more than ever do, I feel bad for the way that I have treated her. I should have never pushed her away and yed the victim when I had so much part to y in the very game. I should have thought about my words; I should have thought about how it must have felt for her to be so lonely and away from me, especially after losing the baby. We were such a strong team; how did we be so weak?All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. With all this in mind, I start to drift off into darkness once again, this time not from someone taking me but from me that is ready to give up on caring. Has Ana and Matty met the same fate as me? Do they find themselves somewhere in a hole just like me? What has my actions done to deserve the once near me to suffer? Then next thing, I am ripped awake by the sounds of voicesing from above. Someone is dangling with a lock and trying to up it up with a key. The pure joy sets over my body. Has someone finally found me? Next, I hear the click-ck of the sounds of someone¡¯s eager feet; in the darkness, I can only make out a silhouette. It is not a man that is standing in front of me; it is very much a woman, and next to her is a man that I do not recognize. Taking one long deep breath, I sit in anticipation and wait for her to show her face. As the shadow of a person steps out of the darkness, I am dumbstruck by the sight that is in front of me. There is nothing but confusion written all over my face. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± ¡­ Ana POV¡­ God, I nearly thought that I was going to die; if that one man with the blurred voice did not tell James to leave me alone, then I swear that I would have been dead by now. What have I done to Matty and Ethan? Why have I done this to them? My silly need to feel wanted to lead me to a man that was nothing but a monster. He was nice in the beginning, but then the minute we set foot back in my old town, he changed in an instant. He told me about his big n to get Ethan what he deserves. He never told me why and where he knows Ethan from. He only told me that if I say anything that he will kill Ethan¡¯s family. I have done nothing wrong to them, so I rather kept my mouth shut and endured the emotional abuse that he put me through every day. He was hell bend on setting to destroy and bring Ethan down to a punishment that he thought that Ethan was worth of deserving. I just wish as I sit here that I could have trusted Ethan enough to look after himself and that he would have found a way out of this like he always does. Yet, I am the one that acted like a coward. I should have never gone for that coffee and let James into my life, but yet I think even if I did not, he would have found a way in on his own. Next, I hear the click-ck of the sounds of someone¡¯s eager feet; in the darkness, I can only make out a silhouette. There are two men that are standing in front of Matty and me. Taking one long deep breath, I sit in anticipation and wait for her to show her face. As the shadow of a person steps out of the darkness, I am dumbstruck by the sight that is in front of me. There is nothing but confusion written all over my face. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± Chapter 115 Not Who I Imagined ¡°What are you doing here?¡± But then as if with utmost wlessness, the real click-ck that I was waiting for makes her grand entrance. She doese dressed for the part and taken by her tight ck bodysuit. I would be foolish if I for one second believe that shees in here peace. It seems the very thing I truly expected her to have forgotten by now, has now most certainly snuck up, and as they would say, it hase to bite me in the ass. But I must say I am still very intrigued. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± Yet she does not say a word. ¡°Have you gone death? What are you doing here?¡± ¡°I do request that you shall show me some respect. After all, I am the one that have you tied up.¡± But then next, there is a face that steps out from behind her, a face that I thought I would never see. ¡°Okay, now what the fuck are you doing here.¡± I truly believe that my near-death experience has indeed affected my vision. This pathetic little man whose life I saved myself is now standing in front of me with a woman that I foolishly thought that I almost loved. This man should be sitting in a military jail, why the fuck is he here. Yet again, the woman in his presence was supposed to have taken him there. Well, that at least makes some sense why he is still here. But I do not know what both of their intentions is, but I shall for certain soon find out. ¡°Emma, what is the meaning of this?¡± ¡°Do you have any idea how long I have waited for this moment, Ethan?¡± ¡°No, but I am sure that you are going to tell me. ¡± ¡°You broke my heart and kicked me to the curb. I was just one of your hundreds of women.¡± ¡°Emma, I do believe that you were never one of my hundred women. You were a means to an end and believe me a fucking end that I am d that I never reached.¡± ¡°There you go and make fun of things. I dock to see your humor in wasting someone¡¯s time. You were supposed to have been the one.¡± ¡°Please could you refrain from calling me that? I am not the one. There was nothing really between us.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± ¡°Just hush, why are you really here? Don¡¯t tell me that you came up with this all by yourself?¡± ¡°Of course, not Ethan, there is a far bigger picture to this.¡± ¡°Please refer from calling me Ethan as well. It is Lieutenant, but it seems that you have some other way of serving your country. Now, tell me, did you think that you can juste in here and try and kill me. Do you not for one minute think that they wille to look for me.¡± ¡°They will think that we have run off together.¡± ¡°Well, not even over my dead body.¡± And yes, right now I should not piss her off but I am going to. ¡°I did not like you from the moment I set my eyes on you, you and your curly messed up hair looking all dressed up as a tramp.¡± And if that was not warning enough, I am not sure what could be. In less time it takes me to breathe, I see herpdogunching at me. ¡°Johnson I would not do that if I was you.¡± I still try to give him fair warning even though I might admit that I am looking much forward to seeing himnd on his ass. Myst thought has not yet but exist my mind and all hell breaks loose.All rights ? N?velDrama.Org. After having sessfully been able to untie my hands which only took me thest half an hour, I get up from the muddy floor and look him straight into the eyes. Well, I have never seen a man so scared in my life before. Things are about to get two horrors scarier than hell in here. My feet gather grip on the slippery floor and I step two steps closer and storm towards him. My hands m square into his chest. His body snaps back and flies through mid-air. I hear him hit the far wall with a loud that and I nearly hear as something cracks. I watch as he gets back on his feet and I wait for him once again to make his attack. With what is in less than one¡­two¡­three¡­I smack the damn thing so hard his head snaps to the left. I must say that I am very pleased with myself to see that I am the very first one that has sessfully drawn blood. Then, the damn man grabs me by the hair with all his force and pulls me down. Much to my shock he raises his knee and smashes it firmly into my gut. I gasp for but a second at the forceful impact. I grab him around the knees and rip his legs from underneath him. He soon finds himself t on his ass on the floor. I raise my feet and drive the tip of my heel deep into his chest. I watch as Emma all but smiles at me. I don¡¯t know if the woman is so sick that she is enjoying every moment of this. But as I give her ast nce, Johnson finds himself on his feet again. ¡°Have you not had enough yet.¡± Then he pushed me down and pins my back to the floor, he straddles me and furiously starts to pound at my face. I hear in the background how Emma begs him to back of a bit. But her interference only but annoys him further. Before he can pound at my face for the fourth time, I get a grip of his arms and smack him back into a pir. I jump to my feet andunch through the air. I push him even further into the wall. I grab his shoulders and fling him to the side. I glide to where he is busy getting up and ram his chest and drive him back into the far side wall. The impact is so hard that he drops to the floor with one loud thud. Satisfied that he won¡¯t move, I turn my head back to Emma. But it is not long and Johnson is next to me again. ¡°Johnson, I warn you, stand down or I will be forced to kill you.¡± ¡°I promised Emma and I am not about to be a man that is going to go back on my word. ¡°Really? You promised her what? Do you truly believe that she cares about you? Do you truly believe that she cares if you walk out of here alive? And if I wish that he would listen to my words, then I am sadly mistaken, for next, I see him pull a knife from his back. Guess he wants to take this fight to a whole new level. So as I effortlessly slide my own very one from my sock, well, maybe they should have searched me before they locked me up in here, I step towards him once again. I watch as there is a slight hesitation in him. But it is not hesitation, it is fear. Thest time he felt fear was the night when we mmed those cuffs on his hands, and tonight he shall feel fear again. Unlike him, I am not afraid of dying. I am a Marine, and if this is the way that I shall need to defend my country today then that is how it shall be. So I step right in front of him and he is right blown away by surprise as I m his body down to the floor. I pin him between my hands and legs. He kicks and screams up a storm. But there is no way he will be leaving here today. For that, I will make sure. But he soon throws me off his body andes to stand by my side. I can hear by his short rapid breaths that this battle has taken a great deal out of his body. The question begs, do I give him pity once again or do I save myself from what is about toe. I step closer to Johanson and I slowly and forcefully raise him to his feet. I can see his begging eyes asking me to stop and show her forgiveness. But the time for such a novelty has long gone past. As I push her body into the pir behind her, I m my knife deep into his chest. As he breaths her final breath, I leave him with one parting thought. ¡°I told you not to betray your country.¡± And as I turn around to find where Emma is standing, I see her disappear out through the hole. Chapter 116 Let Me Be Your Hero ¡­Matty POV¡­ A part of me is questioning if I truly did hear the words that areing from the direction in front of me. If there are ever the most terrifying words that one has spoken, then I a sure that this will be it. I do wish that he did not just say that, for I am more afraid of Ethan¡¯s life than mine. No, as I stare into the godawful face of James, the other man has not yet made his appearance. Well, this shall not happen today. I shall not allow to be taken and overpowered by two men that clearly think that they are ying god. Now, as I watch Ana¡¯s face, I see the terror creep over her face as the other man starts to speak. If there is ever the most terrifying look that words can not speak then that is what is on her face. But as this man steps forward, I can see the utmost expression of joy on his godawful face. ¡°Mark,¡± I hear her gasp as she nearly trembles over in tears. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± ¡°Next time, get the right police to escort me; you should know that I know people in ces.¡± ¡°So, what? You are here to get revenge on me.¡± ¡°Oh, Ana, I am already getting revenge on the real person that deserves it.¡± A part of me is questioning if I truly did hear the words that wereing from his mouth. Is he talking about Ethan?. If there are ever the most terrifying words that have been spoken, then I am sure those will fitfortably amongst them. I do wish that he did not say what has been spoken, for I see Mark with the utmost expression of joy on that godawful face of his. This shall not happen; I shall not allow him to do this to Ethan. And as I turn to face him, I can see the amusement on his face. ¡°My dear Mark, you have two chances of getting to Ethan.¡± ¡°In fact, I already have two changes on Ethan.¡± ¡°Forgive me if I sound somewhat skeptical, Mark, but what makes you think that you shall even achieve that?¡± ¡°Oh, let me just say he has a very weed distraction while James here yed with his fiance.¡± I watch as Ana bes increasingly frustrated just having to listen to Mark and his ramblings. So with that, she grabs me by the hand and tries to break away. As my gaze falls on her hand in horror, I can hardly believe the woman¡¯s determination. Has she indeed gone mad, or is it purely her determination to save Ethan. I can see the most profound sadness that finds its way int to every corner of her face. I cannot let her do this; I cannot let her sacrifice herself like that while there is still away out of this. I know, not quite how yet, but I know that we shall get out of this alive and that she shall soon speak to Ethan again. So I only but whisper in her ear, ¡°Ana, just hang on, I will get us out of here.¡± ¡°Matty, I do not see how this is going to happen.¡± ¡°Just stay close to me, and when the shit happens, just stay behind me.¡± It only takes a few moments of hesitation, and she looks at me and nods. Now, if this has not frustrated Mark, then that would be an understatement. He has now, with a newfound urgency, shoved his Ruger into my face. I hear Ana gasp, but yet I whisper for her to remain calm. ¡°You will pay for this, just as what you are going to pay for what your brother did to me.¡± ¡°What do you honestly think one woman is going to do to Ethan.¡± ¡°Oh, Matty, who said it was only a woman? ¡°It seems that you have thought of this n carefully?¡¯ ¡°Well, I did have a few months to y this out in my head.¡± God, I wish that I can rip every piece of him apart. If it were not for that goddamn gun in my face, then I would have done it by now. ¡°You are a coward,¡± I so bravely im at him. This only but sets his rage at a spark at my usation. As he turns around to hand his gun to James toe to give me a good old beating, I see this as my sheer chance. ¡°Today, you shall listen, boy.¡± ¡°Today, you have made a mistake, Mark.¡± I watch as he grabs a knife from the back of his pants and starts slicing at my skin, one by one; each jab nibs at the open flesh of my arm, but yet I do not flinch, and I do not feel the pain. And with a fake smile, I turn to him. ¡°Is that the best that you can do?¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ If I thought that I could have gotten away from this monster, then I was sadly mistaken. I am aware that we will not be leaving here, not now and most certainly forever. So I havee to my resolve that this is where I shall spend the rest of my years, which means an eternity in the pit of hell. So as Mark stares down at me, for a brief moment, I think that I have just made a grave mistake, but as I see James sitting in the distance happily ying with the gun that Mark has given him. But that does not change the fact that Mark is scaring me beyond the terror of seven horrors. Though it bes quite clear very quickly that he sees my presence as an opportunity for his own sadistic needs. And with that thought lingering in the back of my head, he steps one step closer and slowly drives my body back into the wall that has so conveniently presented itself. I can feel the heat radiate from his body, but it is not the heat of the pit; he has a deep desire that I can feel slowly building up inside him. Then he runs his hands softly over my shoulder, twisting his fingers in the straps of my dress. There is a deep growl rising from his chest. Then he moves further down over the curves of my body, where theye to rest around the small of my back. He pushes his groin deep into me; I feel my body tremble as his semi-erect length press into my thighs. Then he runs the edges of his lips softly against her cheek. I softly whimper his name. He runs his warm, hot breath slowly over my soft cheek to my deep red velvety lips. His lips are but an inch away from touching mine. ¡°Let go of her, you fucking monster,¡± I hear the rage build up in Matty. He moves but a breath closer until we touch. Mark¡¯s intention is clear. ¡­Matty POV¡­ I wish that Ana hade and spoken to me; she would have known that I would have helped her. And now we are stared with Mark, and he shall get what he desires, in any way he wants. So my intentions have now be clear, while Mark has his attention on Ana, I shall go for James and take that gun he is so casually ying with. Should I even make such a hasty choice? I just know that somehow I need to overpower at least one of him. So I look over to Ana and but only nod my head. She only but closes her eyes and hopes that my n will work.N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. So with slow and steady steps, I slip away from Mark¡¯s sight, who is firmly focussed on Ana; not even James notices me. The room, as expected, goes even more dead quiet than before. Well, this was the reaction I was expecting, but the question begs, do I even care for what their answer would be? I need to act, and I need to act soon; I fear for what this monster would do to my Ana. There are some horrors you never return from, and this is one of them. No matter how charming the Mark can be, you do not wish to find yourself in his bed. So I wait for a few moments longer, and after several minutes in silence, I finally speak again. ¡°You should really not take your eye off the very man that you are supposed to be watching. Now let me tell you this, you pose with one problem, your sidekick has not noticed that I have cone and second, there is nowhere that you will get alive our here today.¡± He only swallows hard and deep, but as I grab the gun from his hand, he nearly falls over and dies; that would have sat far better with me, for I would rather prefer that than what I am yet forced to do now. ¡°You, my dear friend, James, made the biggest mistake of your life to mess with my brother and sister. I might not be a Marine, but I will protect them with my life.¡± Then in a sh of an inch of a second, I slightly squeeze the trigger and watch with one jolt as the body of the man that betrayed my brother for months drops to a sack of shit where he deserves to be on the floor. With that, I see Mark disappear out the door. Chapter 117 Come To The Rescue We have not been able to find Emma, but as per news from Matty, they have found Mark. Between the three of them, they came up with a n to wrong the people whom they believe that wrong them. Well, what one hell of a wicked n, if you may ask me. Now thest time I have spoken to Ana, she was still very much taken aback by the great ordeal that has happened to her. Well, today I have a surprise for her. It took a lot of string, but I finally got the big man at the top to let me step away for but a brief moment. Now nobody expects me to know, of course, for I know that my dear mother can not keep her dear old mouth any more quiet than Maggie. So it is with very hesitant steps that I finally step in front of the door that I have a grave to be for too many nights now. But from inside, I only hear her grunt and curse underneath her breath, ¡°I told you goddam people that I do not have anything else to say.¡± With a rather loud huff and a somewhat scary thud, she swings that door open that I nearly think that it would m me straight into my face. ¡°Ethan, what are you doing here?¡± ¡°I see you are kind of busy; I can alwayse backter.¡± She immediately flings her will all arms and legs around my body and squeezes as hard as she possibly can, just to make sure that it is indeed me that it is that she is holding in her hands.¡± ¡°How is this possible?¡± ¡°I got some leave toe to see if you are okay, but by the amount of ice cream wrappers and an overabundance of fizzy cold drink, you seem well on the way to a sugar rush. Now, are you inviting me in, or are we standing and staring at each other outside your for the next two days.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ I think I am surely on some sugar rush and have fallen into some bad and awkward dream. Well, not truly awkward because there is nothing more than what I have wanted for all these months and months not. Ethan is standing in front of me, looking all goddamn hot and making me rather bothered under cover of her. Is this what these Marines do, buff themselves into some ultimate machine. Well, I am d my ultimate machine has made his way to my rescue, which once again proves to me that no matter what, that he loves me more than anything else. He tips his lips down as I tip my lips up. He holds me by the back of my head, then slides his hands down. He touches me only with his lips and with his hand at the nape of my neck. And then, without hesitation, he kisses me. At first, his lips are gentle, exquisitely careful, as if he feared he was bruising me. The sweet taste of his lips melts onto mine as his mouth settles more firmly, insisting and begging for more. Unable to resist, my lips part to allow him passage, the tip of his tongue slides past my teeth in silken strokes of exploration.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. He strokes the slick insides of my cheeks. He has never kissed me like this before; it is as if he was feeding on me, feeding on my rising passion and that hidden carnal desire. I was way dizzily from his kiss and clutched my arms around his hard neck. If only he would hold me tighter and lock his full length against me, but he still touches me only with his one hand and consumes my mouth with patient hunger. He is holding the force of his passion so securely in check. My hands flutter to the sides of his face, stroking the bristle of his cheeks and jaw. He makes a quiet moan in his throat. Suddenly he takes hold of my shoulders and eases me away from his body. My gaze locks with his in a moment of searing wonder. He looks at me as if he could beat me with his gaze as if he wanted to possess every inch of my body and every flicker of my soul. The stillness is broken only by our panting breaths, ¡°I love you, Ana, let us never ever do this again.¡± Pulling Ethan into a hug, tears start flowing down both of our pained faces. His hug is not gentle this time; a gentle hug still gives me space to breathe; this hug is strong, this hug is stronger than anything I¡¯ve ever known; it tells me everything that I am to him, body, mind, and soul. I love both of his hugs; the one is like a duvet that folds around my body, the other a shield that holds and protects my heart I wrap my arm even longer around Ethan. This gesture seems to feel something deep inside him that has been dormant for weeks. With only a split second to spare, he kicks the door close behind us and pins me against the very same door. And then he kisses me, injecting his passion into my mouth, his mouth ying with my lower lip. He pushes me further into the door, our bodies even closer; he is kissing slowly and biting gently, savoring every inch of my vor. With his handsnding on my tiny waist, he takes both my hands and pins them above my head; he continues to kiss me with such intensity until it makes me moan. Using only one hand to keep me pinned, he slides the other up my thigh, his talented fingers gliding between my legs. Much to his delight, he discovers there are no panties to remove; his fingers find the source of the wetness between my shapely legs. He teases me as he circles my clit; he slips a finger inside and massages my most inner sensitive walls. My body shudders as he grinds deeper into me. He gets such deep satisfaction to feel the power he has over me; he lives to make me gasp. My mind is nk with desire. I feel his erection pumping between my thighs, his hunger growing stronger Hold onto him tightly. Gently cing a kiss on the top of my head, he draws me even closer to his body. I nuzzle my head into his neck, smelling his spicy cologne and the fresh smell of his shampoo on his hair. Feeling content and happy in his arms, I wrap my legs around his own. The rhythmic beat of his heart gently pushes me towards a peaceful sleep. I wake up a few hourster to find he is not in bed. Then hees out of the bathroom; he is naked; I forgot he sleeps without any clothes. His body looks even more toned since thest time I saw him naked; he is tight in ces I did not even know existed. Every sculpted muscle is flowing into the next. His skin is glowing in the moonlight; it is soft and supple. His messy hair frames a wless face As he says these words, he reaches out and holds me gently by the shoulders. The way his hand is sliding down my arm is all too much; my body whimpers and begs to betouch. I feel a sharp bolt shoot straight through my heart, knowing that he will not give me anything more than the simplest touch. My hand reaches out and pulls him in by the neck. He jerks at first, but then he allows himself to give in; the thought of his naked body fuels the raging fire within me; my body consumes him. It¡¯s not his lips that I reach for; my tongue finds its way to the sensitive part below his ear. The growl escaping his chest awakens an even greater longing for his body and soul. My arms sp around his neck as I need to have his body closer; I need so many things from his body. The touch of his skin against my tongue sends a fiery passion throughout my core. I cannot keep my self-control any longer, my mouth finds his lip, and I prepare to take him, take every bit that he tells me that I can have I beg him to let me in just for the slightest bit of a moment, and he does. There is an urgency to find the seams of his lips and slide my tongue through. This time I don¡¯t suck his tongue; I don¡¯t lock and intertwine; I possess and make it mine. It¡¯s like a battle raging in his mouth as my every stroke at the insides of his mouth is aimed to make his body quiver in response. Somehow just sucking and nibbling is not enough; devouring and controlling drives the passion of my tongue in and out of him My hands unlock behind his neck, and they are moving all over. First down his shoulders, then down his chest, I can feel his heart pounding beneath his flesh. Somehow this sends my blood racing, and I move further down to his waist. He freezes, and for a moment, there he stops breathing; my hand reaches between his thighs, finding his hard erection. With my palm wrapped around, I start giving him gently even strokes, and an even deeper growl escapes his body. Completely lost in ecstasy, my movements be faster, keeping the same firmness as before. Our eyes meet, I can see the pained expression in his eyes, but I continue rubbing. My lips meet his once more as I maintain a perfect bnce between kissing and stroking him. The heat is rising in both our bodies, the desire to unleash equally the same. Then what I fear would happen happens, he pulls away, ¡°I don¡¯t know if I can do this.¡± Chapter 118 A Lie Untold I know Ana for far too long, for one, she is wearing some rather oversized shirt, which is not mine, and one that I very doubt would be that of James. And for a second, that damn sugar rush that she is forcing into that body, that well¡­ ¡°Ana, is there something that you are not telling me?¡± ¡°Ethan, I think you need toe to sit down. Can I grab you a beer or something?¡± ¡°Somehow, I think I am going to need something far stronger than a beer right now. I think that overprized whiskey there will just do fine.¡± With that, I watch her move toward the cupboard; her shirt is just a slight bit over that perky ass that has be slightly perkier than before. Now, if I were not so goddamn curious, then I would have pinned her down on this very kitchen counter, but I seem to feel that we will be requiring a bed for this one. So as shees to sit across from me and to push a ss of chilled whiskey over to me, she casually has some oddly fresh-squeezed fruit juice in her hand. Yet, I have to ask. ¡°Quite the most one usual foodbination there, from something fizzy to something healthy. Can you not decide what your vor of the day is?¡± ¡°Ethan!¡± ¡°What else does catch my attention is that it is rather chilly outside there today, and you have seemed to what have been like three small tubs of ice cream. Or is that perhaps from the past three days?¡± I watch as she starts to move a bit ufortable around, and I know that somehow I have hit a nail on a nerve, but what nerve I am soon about to find out. ¡°So what are you getting at Ethan.¡± I hear as her shoe drops, but it is not just any type of shoe; it is a goddamn slipper. My Ana does not wear slippers. But that is not the problem. Next, I feel her toes creep up my calf. ¡°Ana!¡¯ ¡°What has got you so nervous, Ethan?¡± She moves her foot up between my thigh tans start rubbing her way up closer to my erection. Then her toe touches my hard length. ¡°Oh, fuck, Ana.¡± ¡°Ethan, is there something pressing on your mind?¡± ¡°I know what you are doing.¡± She starts rubbing her foot over my erection, slow but firmly, up and down; it feels so good the way she is touching me with just her foot ¡°If you keep on doing that, then I am definitely going to cum in my pants.¡± ¡°Maybe I want you to cum right there where you are sitting.¡± She reaches over the table to take my hand and pull it closer to her; Ipletely freeze. ¡°I forgot you don¡¯t know how to do the affectionate thing.¡± ¡°I do.¡± ¡°Then why can¡¯t I feel my fingers anymore.¡± ¡°Maybe I am squeezing too hard.¡± ¡°Maybe just a tad bit.¡± I down my ss of whiskey even before she can take her next breath or make another move with that increasing pressure of her foot. ¡°Wow, you must be very thirsty.¡± ¡°Try very nervous.¡± ¡°I will try to take it slow.¡± ¡°Like they say, baby steps,¡± I whimper as she starts to increase that pressure if every minute. Fuck does this even count as small talk? What she is doing is pleasant, but she is still hiding something that I want to know, and she is ying a very good game at distracting me from my very thought She is rubbing me harder now; I can feel that old familiar warm feeling starting to grow in my groin She continues rubbing me with her foot in a way I have never felt before. The pressure on my shaft is now intense; the rubbing has be faster, it feels like I can explode ¡°Ana, you are going to make me cum.¡± ¡°Trayton, just let go; I want you to cum.¡± She continues rubbing my erection.¡± Her foot is doing things to me I did not think were even possible. I cannot keep it in; I can feel myself, I am there ¡°Fuck this, Ana, I am gonna cum¡± ¡°Cum baby, I want to feel you throb under my toes.¡± ¡°I feel as my balls tense up, and my erection grows warm. She keeps the pressure and continues to rub. ¡°Oh fuck.¡± Then I cum; I grab the sides of the table and try my best not to let it shake. My legs tremble in a controlled way if it is even possible. My orgasm goes on for a few seconds and then subsides ¡°I think you are doing this on purpose.¡± ¡°Of course I am.¡± With that, I run around the table to get hold of those sneaky legs that had mine so trembling only but a few moments ago. She looks at me but only dashes off to the room. ¡­Ana POV¡­ Within seconds, he has my shirt pooled around my feet on the floor; I am standing in front of him,pletely naked I gasp when his mouth finds my breasts; his parted lips follow their curves, his tongue surrounds my nipples, he sucks them hard until they are wet, stiff, and sensitive; I feel my thighs clench together, the aching between them growing wet. I slide my fingers through his hair, needing something to hold on to as he whisks my nipple with his tongue over and over again. Working his way along my body, he circles my navel with his wet tongue before continuing down, finding the part of my body that aches for him. When his breath touches my thigh, a tremor of desire shakes through me. With a few capable strokes, a fire of pleasure is taking me to a whole new height of pleasure. He is exploring me with his lips and tongue, a forbidden pleasure, a wild intimate kissContent is property ? N?velDrama.Org. He lifts me on top of hisp; out of instinct, I wrap my legs around his waist. We hold on to each other as if the world would burst apart if one of us let go. His hands gently move over my hips, pulling me in even closer; it is not a sexual touch but aforting feeling. His fingers run along the edge of my hairline as he tucks a rogue lock of hair behind my ears. I look up at him into his brown eyes and feel a burst of tenderness in my chest. He leans closer, his firm mouth brush against my lips; with a whispered moan, I part my lips, he kisses me, an open-mouthed invitation that he takes. His kisses are desperate, obsessive, like he consumes me, to take all that I am for himself, to make me his. His fingers dig into my thighs as he pulls me in closer, dragging me deep into his groin. My hips respond to his clenching fingers, grinding my body against him, wanting more. He groans with every movement, with every shift, his manhood growing with each second. Then he thrusts deep into me, my body absorbing him inch by inch. He thrusts again, my back involuntarily arches; lost in this glorious moment of ecstasy, I drop my back even further until my head hits down on the bed. My legs tight around his waist, my back arched, I am seized by a rush of sensation so intense that I can not contain my cries of pleasure. He pounds harder into me, over and over again, his strokes hard and powerful. Our bodies are hot and melting into each other. With thest shreds of self-control, I feel tremors shake throughout my body as I shatter. He pulls me up; he plunges in deeper than ever before; with a whisper of my name, he finds his own release. He buries his face in her neck and pulls me into an embrace; for a moment, I forget there was a world outside the circle of his arms. Then he looks at me with so much tenderness and awe in his eyes; he is admiring my body; he is relishing at the moment that we have just spent together. Even though we have not seen each other for such a long time, it seems that we are still fit for each other. No matter what has been thrown in our way, we were always meant to make our way back to each other. No man, no woman, no force so great shall ever take me away from him, and I know that he feels just but the same. So as he leans me back down onto the bed and rests his exhausted body next to mine, he looks me deep into my eyes, and I know there is a longing; there is something that he needs to say. It is something I had today from the moment that he stepped through that door. Why I am so scared, I do not know, but all I know that I am foolish to think of it any otherwise. So he gentlyys his hand down on my belly and whispers in my ear, ¡°Ana, my boo, why did you not tell me that you are still pregnant?¡± Chapter 119 The Greatest Experience In The World What is the greatest thing a man can experience? Having back what you have thought you have lost for good. It is true that good things happen to those who wait, but damn, did I had to wait too long ¡°Soldier, Are you going to stop staring at my stomach?¡± ¡°Sorry boo, but I still cannot believe that it is real, and you are sort of kind of a bit, so I can just not miss it.¡± ¡°You can be d my hands are swollen, or else I would have punched you.¡± I am a mess right now; I happy messed up, man. Here is the woman that I love more than anything, and she is still having our baby. I have missed out on so much, I can only imagine what she must have gone through, but I don¡¯t understand.¡± ¡°Boo, but why did you tell me that you lost the baby.¡± ¡°Mark said, as I told you, that he would kill your parents if I told anyone. He had this crazy idea in his head that he could raise our child as his own.¡± ¡°But where did Jamese in?¡± ¡°James was brought in to break us apart. Nothing ever happened with James apart from him kissing him. I was so lost, and when I thought I was never going to see you again, he just came in at the convenient time as Mark nned.¡± ¡°But Emma, what about Johnson?¡± ¡°Just another wicked n to push you away from me, to make me believe that you no longer needed me. But she needed someone to help her take you out, and who better than the man you wanted to put behind bars.¡± My god, as I think as I am sitting here, I cannot imagine what she must have gone through for this past month, what she had to endure because of a crazy ex-husband and a whole bunch of people that only but sought revenge. I know now more than ever how far she would go for me and how did I even dare to think that she felt any other way. She is going to need all my help to get through this, ¡°Can I get you some of that strawberry milkshake stuff?¡± ¡°Yes, there is like a whole bunch in the fridge.¡± With that, I make my way with a heave heart downstairs; I feel like a man that failed. I did not fail as a Marine, but I failed as a man. So as she is just sitting on the bed happily drinking her milkshake while I take a shower and shave. There is some cartoon on again; I think it is the one where he blows up the building cause she giggling andughing. I have missed that sound so much I step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around me. I step back into the room. I watch her out the corner of my eye as I search for something to wear; she seems so happy. I quickly get dressed and go sit next to her I take her hands into mine and hold them really tight. I don¡¯t ever want to let them, to let her go. I need to make this right. ¡°Ana, the things I said to you that day were very mean. Mean is actually putting it lightly. It is was unforgivable and disgusting. It was hurtful; I feel ashamed at how I reacted ¡°You made it seem like I did it on purpose. How can you think I would do such a thing on purpose. Yes, I was scared, and I am still scared, and believe me, I am still not ready. I would never do something so big on purpose ¡°I also was scared, but instead of sitting and figuring it out, Ished out at you and made it all your fault.¡± ¡°You made me feel that I was not wanted. That I am something, you can toss away when things did not go your way. We have been through so much.¡± ¡°I really did not mean for you to feel that way. The only way I thought of dealing with it was pushing you away and pretended it did not exist. I saw how wrong I was, that I was a selfish asshole. When you needed me the most, I pushed you away ¡°I know you are scared. It only bes a problem if you allow it to.¡± ¡°The only thing I thought about is that I don¡¯t want my child to grow up without a father.¡± ¡°We deal with it when we get there. Stop worrying about things that have not happened yet.¡± ¡°I want to be a dad. It¡¯s my fault I have missed half of your pregnancy, but I do not want to miss the rest.¡± ¡°Then don¡¯t runoff. You are a mess; yes, you miss me, but you can¡¯t fall off the wagon when something does not go your way.¡± ¡°I did not know how to deal with it.¡± ¡°Yes, straight into another woman¡¯s arms.¡± ¡°What? No!¡± There is something that justes to my mind, something I saw in the kitchen. Something I don¡¯t know how I am going to react to if my suspicion is right. Is it something I look past? Do I really want to know She leans over and gives me a hug, her big belly, yes I am going to carry on calling it big. She is pressing her big belly tight into my body. I can honestly say that I have never felt something so strange but yet so amazing ¡°I guess the big question now is, Solider, are youing home? ¡°Well, seeing that we both acted like idiots, it means we are equally wrong, maybe you a bit more than I am.¡± ¡°Okay, you are pushing it a bit.¡± ¡°I love you too, Soldier. There is something I want to show you.¡± She grabs my hand as the slides of the bed. Before, she uses to jump; now, she is so big she can only slide. I know if she could read minds, I would have been smacked by now. I follow her downstairs, watching her as she sort of waddles off each step. I should really not find this funny, but it is just too cute She scratches around in her bag and takes out an envelope; she hands it to me with a big smile on her face. Whatever is in here must be a big deal. I take the contents out, I am confused at first, but when it settles, I am blown away ¡°Is this what I think it is?¡± ¡°Yes, soldier, it quite clearly looks like what you think it is.¡± It is a picture of thest sonar she took. I never thought a ck and grey picture of a growing baby could bring so much joy in my heart. It is a different kind of warmth that I have ever felt before in my heart. I can see now why she is so big because the little someone inside her is what is making her belly like that ¡°Do you know if it a boy or a girl?¡± ¡°No, I have not asked. Maybe next time we go, we can ask¡± ¡°You want me toe with you next time?¡± ¡°Of course, silly,st time I checked, you were dad.¡± My mouth is hurting cause I can¡¯t stop smiling. I really love this woman, and when I think I could not, I even love her more. But this time around, I love her and the baby even more than before. How could I have been so stupid and push them away? I have missed so much but trust me, I am not missing a thing again. ¡­Ana POV¡­ Hesitating, not truly, for I really want this with every craving bone in my body. And it is those cravings that make me ce my lips gently against his. They feel even better than I imagined. His lips are so damn soft; it feels like a thousand feathers are tickling my lips. Then ever so soft and sensual, he brushes his lips against mine. He bites and nips and nibbles. As he threatens to slip through my seems, I grab him by the shirt. His passion and hunger grow even greater. He takes my face between his hands and tangles his fingers in my hair. I go to scrunch my fingers in his hair and pull his lips even closer into mine. This time when he growls, I am right behind him, answering him with my very own moan. I can see his eyes are burning with lust and deep hunger. Unable to contain himself anymore, he pulls me into a fiery and passionate kiss. All my thoughts are obliterated, and the world gives away. It is a sensual dance of lips¡­ but this¡­ I want more. He slips his tongue through my lips and entwines me into a deeper kiss. The kiss is growing greedier, our mouths are locked together, and it feels like I am walking on air. Nothing around us matters; it is just me and him engulfed at this moment, in this perfect kiss. We finally break free, panting and out of breath. He grabs me around my waist and parts my legs with his waist, and moves in closer. I gasp loudly but do not protest. We stare at each other, deep into each other¡¯s eyes. His eyes are full of curiosity; mine is soft and full of wonder. His lips are shaking as he breathes little, short breaths. This man is absolutely sinful. I can so easily get lost in him; every inch of him screams perfect. Who knew that perfection coulde in such a tight package? If he does not stop me now, then I might just devour him. Then I hook my legs around his waist and pull him closer. I look at him and cannot help but give him a cheeky smile; the idea that he wants me does spark my arousal. He takes his arms and wraps them around my body. I shift my bum bit by bit forward; I dig my fingers deep into his skin and press myself hard into his pelvis.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Then he says the words that I never would ever say, ¡°I aming home, boo, the Marines are no longer my dreams anymore.¡± Chapter 120 Second Time Around I need to stop for one moment and take a step back; what makes this all worthwhile is the beauty that lies in my arms. Should I not have had her presence in my life, I would not have had the sheer willpower to take the impossible on To have beauty in your life is easy, but to have the beauty of the woman that you love and the one that loves you in return is the greatest gift that one can experience. I can, with all honesty, say that there is no doubt that shepletes my life. To be lonely for eternity can be seen as a life sentence, but having what you crave, is the greatest blessing. I have never been more assured to have chosen her to be mine for life. She does not only live in her own body; she lives in mine too. We are part of each other; we are one. I hear her footsteps in the passageways of my heart. Her voice echoes through my veins. I can see her face in the mirrors of my memories. She has engraved herself deep into my soul. She will forever be a part of me. Who would have guessed that I would find her in thest rays of the daylight? That she would look up and smile at me, that she stopped me from running away. Where would I have been if she did not ask me toe back and stay, and I stayed long enough to have her in my arms? What she brings to my lifey like the beautiful colors of perfect autumn in my soul. She has made me change in so many ways; I lived with myself for so long that I did not know that I could be a better man. But yet she excepted me the way I was; it scared me that she gave up everything to be with a man like me. She took my loneliness away and vowed herself to spend eternity with me. I pray every day that I shall be good enough for the woman that loves me unconditionally. The woman that is staring at me with that beautiful smile is the love of my life. ¡°Ethan, what has got you so deep in thought?¡± ¡°Only you, boo.¡± ¡°I do hope that it is only good things that are running circles in that small mind.¡± ¡°You say small? Well, I do have something else thatpensates for that then.¡± She only but chuckles at me, then she reaches over to me, and her hand slides around the back of my neck. I lower my head to hers, and our lips touch. At first, my lips are gentle, exquisitely careful, as if I fear bruising her. She moans at the back of her throat, begging for more; my mouth settles more firmly on hers. The taste of her, her intimate vor affects me like a drug; I kiss her more aggressively, hunting for the deepest, sweetest taste of her. The tip of her tongue slides through my lips in silken exploration. I am stroking the slick insides of her cheeks, slow and insistent. She has never kissed me like this, feeding her rising passion. I hold her tightly and lock her full body against me. I consume her mouth with patient hunger. Her hands flutter to the sides of my face, stroking the bristle of my cheeks and jaw. I make a quiet moan in my throat. Suddenly she took hold of my shoulders and eased her way into my body. I gently hold her, still ignoring her whimpering protest. Her gaze is locked with mine for a moment. The stillness is broken by our panting breaths. I want to possess every inch of her body and every flicker of her soul. I slowly slide from her body ande to stand in all my glory beside her. As I start to drop my pants, my erection pops out, and the expression on her face tells me that she knows that tonight she is getting this full six-seven inches. ¡°Oh god, Ethan.¡± ¡°Boo, we have not even started yet. I am going to drive you crazy then make you drop down the abyss of pleasure.¡± I start to move my way up her body. With gentle teeth, I slide and nibble my way to her calf. My wandering hand slide up and but only tickle the edge of her clit. And the moment she gasps out of pleasure, I slowly take it away; I want her to ache. I run the tip of my tongue from her inner thighs in slow but hard circles, pressing fiercely into her skin. ¡°You have such soft skin¡­¡± I whisper as my fingers yed along the inside of her thighs, driving her mad with desire. My finger turn in circles around the string of her panties. I tangle and twirl and slide them slower than honey down the hot flesh of her body and finally slipping them over her feet. As eager fingers find their way back to the only ce that I desire. I part her legs wide until they but only invite me to delve into her clit that by the mere sight is hard, and I can only smile at the thought at the rate the ache is throbbing. She will beg. Then I twirl my tongue in circles as I edge my tongue inches and inches deeper inside her. With each turn, I hear her purr like a cat. Then I push harder and slip every length of my tongue into her tightness. She squirms underneath me as she lets out a roaring moan. ¡­Ana POV¡­ He moves up my trembling body and settles his mouth upon mine, robbing me of thought. As he speaks between long, drugging kisses that consume my senses, he cups one cheek in a strong, warm hand and meets my gaze with a searing look. He kisses me again, growling low in the back of his throat. My hands find their way into his thick, dark hair as he catches my bottom lip in his teeth, nibbling and licking at it until I think I might perish from the intensity of the feeling. I whimper at the sensation, and he rewards the sound by deepening the kiss, giving me everything I desire. With a wicked grin, he cheekily flips me around. Positioning himself behind me, he wastes no time at all, pushing his hard length to my entrance. Leaning my upper body back, I hook my arm around his neck and kiss him again, and he edges himself into me. The sense of being filled from this position is almost too much. He takes one of my ass cheeks and lifts it slightly so he can ease himself all the way in. I could feel every inch of him along my tight walls. He feels heavenly. As I look back at him and cradle his neck in my hand, he starts to explore my breasts. Molding his hand to them and massaging my already erect nipples. I lean forward away from him so he could take me deeper He slowly slides in and out of me; I look back as he moves to lift himself over me. It is deep this way, he hits my sweet spot perfectly, and it is almost too much for me to cope with. He knows what he is doing; I see the mischievous grin on his lips and can¡¯t help but smile back. I feel myself build again; a sh of heat spreads over my body from my stomach. It feels like my entire body is blushing. Keeping still, I feel the tip of his throbbing erection hit the core of me over and over again. He positions his erection at my entrance again and slowly drops me down, impaling me on his hard length. Spreading my legs wide again, he thrusts up into me; the feeling of him pushing all the way inside me, filling me right to the top, is deliciously tight. I heave in passion, my resisting flesh split, and he slides into me. He keeps up the rhythm relentlessly. With each stroke, he slides his hot throbbing fleshpletely into me. He drives in deeper, with each thrust increasing pace He can no longer resist the increasing pressure, pushing him into me even deeper. With one final thrust, he shudders and explodes inside of me. I can feel him spill into my moist depths. He pulls me against him and begins gyrating and grinding himself into me. I heave and convulse into a chain of explosions. And not having to ask this time, I give him freely what he desires the most beyond these moments of ecstasy. Fueled by passion, I give into his touch. As wey and wait for the room to slow down from the raging high, I can only smile at the man I gave my life up for. I can honestly say that I do not regret one moment of it. If one could give me the chance to do it all over again, I can, with confidence, say that I shall do it the same way. Ethan does believe that I am the one that brought meaning to his life, where in fact, he has brought meaning back into mine. How I do love the way that he carries me in his hands like a porcin doll. He has seen me at my worst, he has seen the cracks in this perfect woman, yet he does not show them to others; he just but loves them. I love him for making this cracked porcin doll a better woman again. If I look up at the dark skies at night, I look beyond the stars and even beyond the ones that one cannot see, and I know that even if I live for eternity, I shall never know the space we live in. Ethan is like my night sky; I know that I only know him but a small bit, but I know that I look forward to a lifetime of getting to know him. I shall never stop discovering him. And as this man that I love stares at me, I can see the love boil over in his eyes, but beyond them, there is something else. ¡°Boo, will you make this man happy for an eternity and be my bride?¡±N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. ¡°Let us hope third time lucky.¡± Chapter 121 It Ain鈥檛 Over Until It鈥檚 Over It is early morning as I sit on the porch waiting for Ana to wake up. There are only two things ying on my mind this morning. I am so goddamn happy to be home, and worst of all, I need to go back and finished what I have started. It is only another three months stretch to go, and by the way that things seem, some of the boys might being home earlier. Now I know that she will not love the idea, but I am not deserting my country; even though I chose my wife, I still have a service that I need to fulfill. One thing Ethan Hunter is not known for is to run away and hide. I want to be that hero; I want to make that difference, and god, I will be doing it the right way. So as Miss Sleepy Heads sticks her head around the corner, I know that she has watched me while I have been having turmoiled in my head. ¡°What has your daydreaming so early in the morning, soldier?¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± she only but cocks her head and looks at me.¡± ¡°If you start that sentence with that, then I am in for another story.¡± ¡°Boo, I cannot just walk out on the Marines. I need to go finish what I started¡± All I can hear her mumble, ¡°Is over my dead body.¡± So, I very much get the cold shoulder the entire morning as we sit in somewhat peace having our morning coffee. Once we step back inside as the sun soon rises high into the afternoon, I prepare for my best Ethan move. The minute she closes that door, I make my move; I spin her body around and pull her into my embrace. The sweet Jasmine and vani that she carries such well attacks my senses. Her tiny figure presses against my body; her tight bosom is pushed into my sculpted chest. I feel her top but lift an inch, and her naked skin touches the exposed skin of my abs. She tries to pull away, but I tangle my hands in her hair and pull her even closer. ¡°Ethan, let me go. I am mad at you.¡± My voice is gentle but somewhat trembling as I speak to her. ¡°Please, Boo?¡± She does not say a word, but instead, she grabs onto me and pulls her body is tight against mine. I feel her warm breath in my ear while she slowly whispers. ¡°No, Ethan, let me go.¡± ¡°Let me exin,¡± I gently ce my lips against her ears. I want to feel her skin. I want the closeness of her for as long as I can keep it.N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. Yet she sys her hands against my chest and pushes me away. I look at her with a mischievous smile forming around the corner of my mouth. ¡°No,¡± she only but says it once. Myughter vibrates through the room to every crack and crevice. I look at her, slightly amused, ¡°Come on, Boo.¡± ¡°No,¡± she says twice. She looks at me and studies me from tip to toe. Maybe a bit too long to make me feelfortable. Her voice is soft as she speaks once again. ¡°No,¡± she says for the third time. She spins on her heels and dashes to the bathroom. I shortly followed her behind. What her purpose was foring in here is not known, for I find her only standing in front of the mirror. But looking at her beauty does not only take my breath away; it renders my body out of control. She is standing there and doing this damn seductive thing with those supple red lips. ¡°Boo.¡± ¡°No,¡± she says for the fourth time. I look down at my feet as I step one step closer. ¡°Boo¡­¡± I step another step closer. I am close enough to reach my arms and fold them around her waist. The closer I get, the softer my voice bes. ¡°I am¡­¡± I step another step closer. I am close enough to feel her warmth radiate from her skin. ¡°Sorry,¡± I look up into her eyes; her lips are but less than an eye wink away. All I need to do is lean an inch forward, and mine would be against them. Mine is trembling, and how I would love us to tremble together. I take a lock of her hair and twirl it around my finger, then gently pull it closer. The scent of honey fills my nostrils as I feel the soft touch of her hair against my skin. ¡°If I knew what the scent of an angel was, then I would say it was you.¡± ¡°Flirting is not going to get you out of this, Ethan.¡± ¡°You would know when I am flirting with you, and this is not it.¡± And then I move yet another inch closer, ¡°Do you want to know something else?¡± My lips touch the delicate tips of her ear. I hear her gasp, and she slightly bes aroused. ¡°No what,¡± she says through stuttered words. ¡°That I can so easily kiss you right now, but I won¡¯t.¡± ¡°Why, why not?¡± ¡°Because you are mad at me.¡± ¡°I can see what you are doing, and it is not going to work.¡± ¡°But Boo.¡± She breaks free from my arms and rushes to sit on the side of the bed; I immediately miss the warmth that her body brings. For yet another attempt, I move on over to where she is. All I want is to have her as close to me as I possibly can and beg for the forgiveness that I so seek. ¡°Boo please?¡± ¡°No,¡± she says for the fifth time. I slide next to her on the bed, and she moves away. ¡°You can¡¯t be that mad at me.¡± ¡°Oh, try me, I can.¡± I once again slide closer to her, and she slides away. ¡°Ethan, stop it.¡± As she wants to move even further, she realizes that there is no further space for her to move into. I only but wink at her and smile. ¡°Ethan, if youe any closer, then I am going to kill you.¡± ¡°Boo, I am already dead.¡± She gasps and tries to stand from the bed but soon realizes that there is nowhere for her to go. ¡°Ethan, please let me go.¡± ¡°Not until we have spoken, Boo.¡± ¡°We have spoken, now please let me go.¡± Without the most perfect precision, she slides that body past me and heads for the door, but yet again, I am there to stop her. ¡°Please, Boo.¡± ¡°No,¡± she says for the sixth time. ¡°You really do like saying no, Boo.¡± ¡°Well, get used to it, for you are going to hear it a lot more.¡± As she goes for the doorknob, I spin her body around yet again and pin her into that very door she is trying to make her exit. I step and gently rub my body up against hers. My hand trembles as I take it to her cheek; I softly tuck her hair away from her eyes. I lean in a little closer, our foreheads now gently touching. I cannot fight against the thoughts that are going through my mind. She is flooding my senses in every possible way. I take my thumb to her bottom lip and gently run it from one corner to the other. They are soft and smooth, and the lipstick makes them slide with ease. Her voice hitch as I move over them between the seams and slightly begin to part them. The heat between our bodies is now unmistakable. She whispers, but her trembling lips only cause her words to whimper. I see my name forming around her lips, but I do not hear it. She is drowning in the power I have over her body. I move my lips wink by wink even closer to hers. We are so close now that we could almost breathe the same breath. I look down at her lips and back up to meet her eyes. She closes her eyes, and I move forward, closing the space between us. As I tuck at her bottom lip, she stops and pulls away. I stare into her deep blue eyes; I cup her cheek, which is now slowly turning red. This woman that has so much power over me is like jelly in my hands. I smile at her before I slowly lean into her. My hand is shaking slightly; my mind is repeating the same sentence over and over. It feels like I am going to explode. I so desperately want to im those lips. ¡°Boo.¡± ¡°Yes, Ethan.¡± ¡°Please, I am sorry.¡± ¡°It does not work like that; saying sorry every time does not make it better.¡± ¡°What can I do then?¡± ¡°Letting me go is a good start.¡± I softly chuckle at her and close that gap between our bodies again, ¡°I am sorry, but I cannot do that.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Because I need to do this.¡± I instantly lock her lips into mine. As her soft velvety lips begin to move against mine, she rips open my soul, and the world falls away. My thumb caresses her cheek. She encircles my body and runs her fingers down my spine. Chapter 122 Bringing The Walls Down It is yet another morning at the bus station that I have to say goodbye to my family. This time shall be the final time that I shall give my mother that near-death experience where she so wishes to p all sanity into me. But that is not my concern; my biggest is leaving the woman behind that I shall marry and start a family with. Her eyes are filled with tears of both happiness and joy; I think that seeing me doing this thest time is what shall drive her to get through thest three months. Though getting on that bus does not make it any easier. Three months is a long time for someone that is on nothing but hostile ground. And with that, as all the times before, I watch as the five most important people in my life be nothing but little ants in the back window. The drive to Pendleton this time is filled is heartache, and the flight to camp does not even bring as much joy as I wish it to be. But I am here to fulfill what I promised myself, and I promised my country, but most of all, I never want to be seen as a failure to my child one day. There has been nothing said about Emma or anything that happened back here at home. No one knows what has happened to Emma, she has not been found, and neither has Mark. I do believe that one day they shall make their way back to get the true revenge that they did seek. The question with Emma was always something of rage, as something that she could not have. I am not a hero, but for her to be seen by my side made her feelplete in her own cruel way. She came in and yed her part well when she felt that I needed someone; she came at the perfect time to cause a distraction from Ana; well, that is now what we know what her true intention was in all the time. My dream in all my life was just to be a Marine, never did I once desired to be anything beyond that as a Rayder. So I have achieved what I have wanted, even if it is only for this onest mission; this is the mission that would count. But most of all, what this mission would have proved not to only to me but all out of there is that you do not let any disability push you away from your dreams. So as I find my way back to the camp, to say that the guys are happy to see me would be an understatement. The first ce I find myself immediately going is the ops tent. As I step in, I see a very surprised Ray. ¡°Well, what on earth are you doing here? I did not think you woulde back after all of this?¡± ¡°And let all the action to you boys, I seriously doubt so. Now, did your misses not said she is going to kill you if you ever set foot on camp again?¡± ¡°It took some serious bribing, but she came around,¡± hees around the table and gives me a be a big pat on the back and one of those awkward man hugs. ¡°So,¡± I say as I take a seat across from him, ¡°What is up next?¡±Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°We clear out this shit, and we go home. The quicker we do, the quicker we can go home.¡± ¡°Well,¡± I look at him with a wicked grin on my face. ¡°Lets us start then.¡± Ya, he has another thinging if he thinks that he is keeping me in the ops tents. This is myst mission, and I want to get as much from it as I can. Early next morning, we are up and ready for a briefing as we shall head out to Fallujah. The resistance in the Bagdad has somewhat cleared out and has filtered into these small little towns such as Fallujah. We are here to clear as many of them out and make it as safe as we can for the civilians before we leave. Even though we cannot save their homes, we can at least bring some sort of peace to their lives. It is going to be a long stretch, three months. But as Ray said that it might not even be so long. Of course, they will leave a few small squads behind for a couple of months more, but most of us will be going home soon. So as I stand there in front of men that I have all grown to know and care for, we give them the n of action. I cannot somewhat feel a proud and happy many as I shout a rather loud, ¡°Hoorah.¡± And with that, we head off to Fallujah to clear out some of the heavy groups of resistance and arms dealers. It is such a sad thing that this is a war the is raging within a country and not even against another. One thing that a Marine is taught is unity; to see such carnage is heartbreaking and infuriating at the same time As we get to the town, we go for the bigger buildings; first, we can move from inside to out and work our ways through there. The first building that we are going to work through is one that has seven floors. We will be taking in three full squads. Normally the first and second floor is the easiest as they do not hide out there normal. We find that they seem to love the third to the fifth floor. So with utmost precision and as little as possible obvious, we start filtering our way into the third floor. I look at Lopez and softly signal to him. ¡°You take a team to the left, Lewis, you go to the right, and I will move in straight ahead.¡± With that, we move with hunched back underneath windows and down corridors. The first room I show for one of the rookies, ¡°One¡­two¡­¡± And he steps inside; I watch him swing around in a circle, then a loud, ¡°Clear.¡± The next room we do so, and so and so on we go to each room down the hall. As the floor circles around, we are met with Lewis and Lopez again. Then we move to the fourth floor¡­clear. The fifth¡­ As we turn to break up in groups, there is rapid-fire thates headed at us from the front. We immediately duck and take cover. From behind the cover of walls and sturdy furniture, we take our aim and return the fire at them. Here and there, you can hear a loud thud as the enemy fall to the floor; then it goes silent. We wait for a brief few moments and take that we have taken them down ande out from our cover. Then once we are clear, we make our way to the next floor, but as we hit the steps, there is a loud explosion that shakes the building from underneath us. In utter horror, I realize what has just happened. ¡°Fall back, fall back. Get out of the fucking building! They are blowing it up.¡± With that, you have forty-nine marines flying down stair after stairs to get out of a building that they are trying to blow to pieces. They led us up so high on purpose. Well, that is not the problem. I do not want to get stuck under a pile of rubble. ¡°Move your fucking asses! Get out!¡± I yell as each marine goes past me towards taking each step down with fear and horror building within their core. I will be dammed if I get out before all my men are out. I will stay and wait until the final one has made its way to one of the humvees. As we get halfway down the third set of stairs, there is anotherrge explosion, rocking the building visibly from side to side. You can hear windows break and walls crack as they rip it to the core. ¡°Move faster. Move faster!¡± We are nearing thest floor now, and I can see as the men are now starting to filter out the building towards the street. They are moving much faster now than they did before. Then another shock. I feel as the building rocks yet another time, but I hear something else¡­it is starting to crumble. ¡°It ising down. Move out. It ising down. Move faster.¡± Chapter 123 Marines Under Fire There is a rumbling thunder thates down with great speed onto our backs. You can hear as brick by bricke crashing to the floor, splitting into pieces. As I, the final one, get to the street, we watch as ites down to a spectacr end. A big cloud of dust covers us and half down the street. Once most of the dust has settled, we make our way back to the Humvees. ¡°Woohoo, that was fucking close.¡± Lopez snaps his head to my left and looks me amazed in the eyes, ¡°You losing your mind there, Lieutenant?¡± ¡°Now that was a rush. If I say it is better than sex, then Ana might just kill me.¡± Everyone only but bursts out inughter at me as we have once again missed another near-death experience. These three months bettere quickly, for this heart cannot take this excitement anymore. And let us forget about the heart, that was fucking tough on my leg. I am going to sit in pain for at least another day or two. But there is no time to sit with pain; we soon make our way back to camp, not having or wanting to handle any more excitement for the day. Hey, at least we brought one building down; not quite the way we would like, but it is a good start. So soon as we find ourselves getting back, I skip the briefing to Ray forter; I have an eagerdy waiting for my call. And I need not even have to ring long for her to answer. ¡°Hey, soldier.¡± ¡°Hey, boo. How is my boy doing?¡± ¡°I am doing fine, thank you for asking.¡± ¡°Of course, I know you will always be fine, even if your toe is falling off. So how is the baby doing.¡± ¡°Well, I am starting to think that we are looking at a football yer here, for he is kicking the shit out of me.¡± ¡°Fuck, I wish I was there. Will he still kick when I get back?¡± ¡°God, I am sure by then he will be kicking toe out. But don¡¯t worry, we are not going anywhere. So tell me about your day.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. Now, do I tell her I nearly ended under some rubble, or do I tell her the part where I hurt my leg with that speedrunning? Mmm, do I lie to my fianc¨¦? ¡°Well, there was a building that blew up, and we ran a lot, so my leg is sore.¡± I hear as her voice hitch but a pitch higher; I near have to hold the damn thing a whole arm¡¯s length away from my ear. I give her a few moments to breathe and wait for the twenty questions. ¡°Okay, did you blow up the building and got in the way for? That would be kind of stupid. With you absolutely possible, but I am leaning towards not getting all the information here.¡± ¡°You are right about that one; there is some information being left out. But, boo, is the only thing not that I am okay?¡± ¡°You are a wise-ass again soldier, but yes, I am d you and all the guys¡­wait¡­is everyone okay.¡± ¡°No, I am the only one that survived.¡± ¡°WHAT. THE. FUCK.¡± I burst outughing so hard that I nearly topple off over the edge of my bed. But yes, she is not finding it quite so hrious as I do, ¡°You need to be pped. I am phoning Ray and asking him to punch you.¡± ¡°Hahaha. You are so easy to tease. But listen, kiss baby for me, I must go brief Ray. Love you boo.¡± ¡°Love you, soldier.¡± With that, I am off to Ray for a briefing with another sort of sessful meeting. And this is what we do for the next ten months, into Fallujah, grounding every building to the floor, leaving only but rubble and no prisoners alive. Most of the civilians start moving out of the region while we deploy our continued missions. They are set toe to rebuild what we have destroyed. With each mission, therees a cheer, but yet another apology to a poor innocent man for tearing down what is his. With each mission, we get more resistance out than what we anticipated. They see that we have beening down with full force and that we are not backing down. Day in and day out, we go in, and day in and day out, we all are happy that we get back to camp alive. You do tend to get that reassurance that you give to yourself that you are invisible, but you do tend to forget that today might be yourst day. So with ten weeks of hard ass fucking work, we find ourselves going on the veryst mission that we will go. There is both excitement and both fear, for they always leave the best forst, as they say. So the atmosphere is tight, and the men are nervous. What is also thest thing that will be done today is me addressing these men. ¡°Boys, we have worked fucking hard for almost six months. Each and every one of you can be proud of what you have aplished for not only yourself, your fellow Marine, and your Country. Now today, I want to thank you for having the honor to have stood by your side. And today, I want you to go out there and kick ass for onest time and let us get the fuck home. HOORAH.¡± With that, a HOORAH is heard from deep in the camp into the edges of the forest around. As we set off on the road to Fallujah, only with a minimum required amount of Marines, the wind starts to pick up in an awful sand storm. You can barely see your hand in front of your face. We are driving in the dark. This is not how I expect this to start off. So we crawl in at a slow pace towards the town; the only thing I am keeping in my head is climbing on the ne a few days. This weather is not going to freak me out and hold me back. As we get into town, we can hear the children ying in the streets, and there is the chatter between the civilians. This gives a very fair indication that there is no resistance around. Then finally, the skies burst open, and the dust settles in almost an instant. On any other day, you would hate the rain, but fuck, as long as it settles that dust, it can piss down as much as it wants. And then¡­ A false sense of securityes¡­ There is a round thates zinging past my ear. We were not prepared for this. We are not enough Marines if therees a gun battle. So we try to get out the firing range of the fireman, waiting for Lewis to get up there and take him out. How he is going to see in this, I do not know, but I hope that a sniper is the only problem that we will be faced with today. Then all hell breaks loose¡­ Therees missile fire from another building and pierce the skin of one of the tanks, nearly flipping it on the side. The men inside, thank god, still seem fine, but not for long¡­another missilees straight past our Humvee, only missing us by near inches. They are ying cat and mouse, and they also have quick the mouse off-guard. I immediately get Ray on the radio, not even bothering with proper protocol, ¡°We are under serious fire; we need reinforcements. A lot of fucking reinforcements.¡± The fire keepsing in, but at this point, we seem to be under control, well, I lie. WE. ARE. NOT. UNDER. CONTROL. Lewis has not been able to get to the sniper yet, and there is another that has popped up that is having a go at the Humvee that Lopez is in. And then finally our reinforcements arrive. It is as if it was exactly what the enemy was waiting for. Chaos erupts. Missiles are piercing the skin of so many of the green tanks. One goes up in a horrific me, and my body cringes. We just lost five Marines. But they do not stop there. The Humvees are taking equal fire from so many rapid fires that are ripping Humvees to pieces. Another one gets stank and topple over in a ball of fire. We just lost another five marines. There is absolute havoc been taken onto us from all sides and all corners. It is hard to say and hard to see where they areing from. The worst is not the fact that we can not see them; the worst is the horrific screams that areing from every Marine that is taken down. The weather starts turning for the worst, and all you can see is a heavy downpour of rain and lighting that fills the skies. But that does not stop the enemy. They are firing at will in all directions knowing that we have no idea where they areing from. We try to take as best cover as we can behind the tanks, but the moment a tank is blown to shreds, we are left in the open. Then the bulletse in even faster and harder. I am seeing my fellow Marines that I have served with for the past six months not being able to hold it together. Bullets are not only piercing Humvees, but they are starting to pierce the skin of men, and I watch one after the other Marine fall. Then we are left to abandon our Humvee as ours have been blown to shreds. The minute I step outside, I feel it, one sharp agonizing pain. One round is all it takes, and it rips straight through my leg. I am mmed back onto my back and fail into pain. I have felt this feeling before. I have been here before. And there are only two words that leave my presence, ¡°God, No.¡± And that is it for me; I am rendered powerless and are not able to protect myself or even my fellow Marine. All I feel is being pulled to safety behind one of the tanks; as for the rest, rapid-fire continuously on and on until finally, it stops. As I lift my head from where I am lying, my heart falls into my feet. There are the bodies of so many Marines lying lifeless on the floor. We did not n for this; we did not think this is how this mission will go today. So as I look at Lopez thates to check on me, I look at him with two pains. ¡°How many?¡± ¡°Forty-three.¡± It takes every fiber in my body not to burst out in uncontroble sobs and to scream at the top of my voice. Forty-three Marines. Forty-three that won¡¯t make it home alive in a few days. This has been by far the worst battle ever in Fallujah. And with that, I see ck and pass out from the incredible pain. Chapter 124 Forty-Three Reasons To Live It is in and out of consciousness that we take the drive back to camp. My leg is hurting like a bitch, and the only thing I can focus my mind on is¡­not fucking again. I don¡¯t know how badly I am injured; the moment I try to lift my head, I have Ray pushing me down again. I have Lopez applying pressure on my leg to try and stop the blood from gushing out. I feel like a mess. I am losing a lot of blood very quickly, for the dizziness is starting to set in. Then¡­I am out. Next time Ie to, I am being carried into the nurse¡¯s tent where you have a severely understaffed medical team running to save the lives of the badly injured. The ones only in need of a view stitched or a non-serious bullet to be removed are pushed to the side. If I thought the battlefield was aplete mess, this isplete chaos. Today is a very sad day for every Marine that walks and that used to walk these grounds. Here, in this tent, there will be more lives be lost today. We were not careless, we were not too self-confident, nor did we let our guard down; we got caught in what was the perfect storm. The weather betrayed us today, and we paid dearly with our lives. Every two minutes, Ray sticks his head in the tent to see how I am doing before checking with the doctor if we have lost anymore. I think, in all his years, he never thought that he should have to go through an experience like this. There are voices of big strong Marines that echoes to the corners of the tent in agony. They are screaming and curling with pain. Bit strong men are crying like babies for their lives to be saved. Big strong men like me that do not wish to go anywhere else but home. With this thought spinning over in circles in my mind, my mind cannot help but wander to Ana and our baby. If there is any reason for me to hang on, then it is her. She is the only reason why I want to live. Her and my baby. So I reach deep into my pocket, but the pain is so great that I cannot move another inch. As I try to find my way into my pocket, I have some nurseing and scolding me for not keeping my leg still. Well, guess what, the fucking thing is still. All I can feel his pain and nothing else. Next, she has me move on a bed. I watch as she hurriedly starts to stick a needle from a drip in my arm. ¡°What is that,¡± I mumble at her under strained breaths. ¡°That is something for the pain; the doctor ising to see you now.¡± Ya, and that is me. The painkillers kick me outpletely for what seems to be the next hour. When I open my eyes again, I have the doctor hovering over me. As I look down, I can see him busy cutting my pants off. I am shocked to the core. ¡°Which fucking leg did I hurt?¡± He only but looks at me, concerned, ¡°I asked you what leg did I hurt?¡± ¡°Both, Lieutenant. Nowy still so that I can see what is going on.¡± I fall back onto the bed; I only felt the pain in my one leg. I never felt the pain in the left. I am so focused on hurting my amputated leg that I never thought that I would get hurt any otherwise. So as Iy with my head back on the pillow, I swallow deep, not for the tears to fall down my face. Thest thing is for the man that is supposed to be able to do everything, to start and cry. Then the doctor looks at me as I am clenching my hands into a firm fist. ¡°Hey, Lieutenant. I have got you. Don¡¯t worry about being that strong, hardass. Let it go; big men can cry. I promise you that I am going to do everything that I can.¡± I look at him through very foggy eyes, ¡°Please, I don¡¯t want to lose my other leg as well.¡± I go for a brief moment, silent. ¡°Please do not take my other fucking let. I beg you. Do not touch my leg.¡± He only but looks at me and smiles, and this infuriates me even more. I raise my voice over the panic that is filling the air, ¡°DO. NOT. TAKE. MY. FUCKING. LEG. I see several faces snap in my direction, but they are in their own pain that they do not pay much attention to me, please. He soon ces another drip in me and ces an oxygen mask over my face. I still try and beg him and beg him even more, but I soon find myselfpletely under. Now my life is in his control. And so Iy, there is not a single thought that enters my mind, not a dream, everything only but darkness. A deep darkness that consumes my body and my mind and creeps into the depths of my soul. As I feel myself slowlying to again, I feel groggy and very confused from the anesthetic. I search for the doctor, but neither he nor a nurse is around. I call out for what seems to be a fairly deserted tent, apart from a few other Marines, it seems to have clear out. Not finding the doctor only but increases my agitation. While I frantically search for some sort of medical staff around, I try to move my legs¡­but I cannot feel them both. My body is numb, and my arms are too weak to move down to open the nket. I cannot get to my goddamn next, and there is nobody fucking around. I cannot even remotely wiggle my leg nor feel my toes move on my left leg. It ispletely numb. I do not feel a damn thing. Just as I am trying to lift myself off the bed, I have a nurseing to push me down, ¡°Where do you think you are going, Lieutenant?¡± ¡°What is going on? What happened? Why can I not feel my legs?¡± She only but shakes her head at me while she checks my drip, ¡°Sorry, but you will have to wait for the doctor.¡± ¡°Then where is the doctor?¡± ¡°He is with Ray; I will go tell him that you are awake.¡± But she only increases the flow of the painkillers, and in no less than a minute, I am down under again. This time¡­I can dream. In my dream, I can see Ana waiting for me at the bus stop, but I cannot run to give her a hug because I don¡¯t have legs. I can see the pain and then the anger in her eyes as she sees me slumping like nothing but a dwarf. She will never see me as a man again, and not only that, how will I ever be a father. I can see how my perfect life disappears. In an instant, just as fast as those bullets hit me, just as fast my life disappears. I have worked so hard to be a Marine again that I was not prepared to think of the dangers. But this is what we sign up for. This is what we do. We cannot protect if we do not put our own lives in danger. I do not regret bing a Marine, nor do I regreting back. Not for one bit.N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. Consequences¡­ You live with them¡­ Then you get up, and you carry on again¡­ But that is not something that I can do, not at the present time and not as long as they keep pumping this damn morphine through my veins. Do I get the idea that they are hiding something from me? Are they too damn scared to tell me what is going on? Where is this doctor that was supposed to havee seen me like what seems a day or two ago? Why? Why the fuck are they keeping me under? Then, next, when I wake up again, I watch as one of the nurses is packing up some of the equipment and ordering another nurse around to get some of the Marines toe help move the patients that are still in the tent. Very annoyed, I call after her, ¡°Can you call the doctor?¡± ¡°Sorry, Lieutenant, he is at the ne, getting the ce ready for you guys.¡± ¡°ne?¡± ¡°Yes, we are going home today.¡± I only shake my head at her in disbelief, ¡°Have I been here for a week?¡± ¡°No, only four days, they sent in for us earlier. We are going home today.¡± With that, I cannot let my heart jump for a brief moment, but just as the excitement sets in, I feel an incredible pain; as I cry out, I have the nurse immediatelying to give me more morphine. I know by that, by the way, it is going now; I will only be awake again when we get back to the hospital at Pendleton. So I ask for the nurse to give me the photo of Ana that is lying on the little bedside stand; I hold it firm by the edges and put it close to my heart. And then¡­ I drift off again¡­ Chapter 125 The Broken Soldier Today I am on another bus ticket back home; this time around, I am not alone. Every single man finds themselves in the same ce, heading the same way, including the forty-three brave souls that fought to the very end for their country. What else is fighting is me; every time I just as much as open my goddamn eyes, they shove a needle in my arm. Now I am not a man with patience, and they are surely testing it to its limit. And every time I start to drift away, I clench even harder on that photo of Ana, knowing that in only a few mere hours, I will be seeing her. Now I would like to tell you how jolly and eventful the ne flight is home, but yes, I am constantly being drugged by some over-eager nurse. Then, just as Ie out of my drug haze, I spot Ray, I immediately holler, yes, I know, but anyway, I call for the man toe over. ¡°Can you exin to me why nobody wants to tell me what is going on with my legs, which everybody is keeping a fucking secret?¡± I hear as he clears his throat rather ufortably as he shuffles his feet about, ¡°I think we must wait for the doctor.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. ¡°Fuck the doctor¡¯s ass,¡± the anger growls out of me like thunder, ¡°I want to know now.¡± Just then, that little nurse with her needlees poking around me again, it only takes me but a second to rip that thing from her hand; she gasps and jumps back, ¡°All you have to do is say no.¡± ¡°Sweety,¡± I try to sound as calmly as possible. ¡°Nothing about you says just ask; you were made to torture people.¡± With that, she hurries off to the back of the ne, where the damn doctor also seems to be hiding. But I have Ray, and if he knows what is good for me, he shall not go anywhere. ¡°So, how about telling me why I cannot feel my legs and I am constantly being poked at?¡± ¡°Ethan,¡± he starts off as a whisper, ¡°You, well, both of your legs got hurt.¡± I immediately go into shock as a terrifying horror creep as a cold rush over my spine, ¡°God, please don¡¯t tell me?¡± He looks down, and I can see that there is a small pearl-like tear that is bubbling in the corner of his eye, ¡°They¡­¡± Just then, the fucking pilot feels like it is time for an announcement. Well, apparently, I slept the whole flight away as we are approaching the airfield at Pendleton. The excitement of Ana and her big baby belly is the only thing that is now consuming my mind. So I wait patiently while two of the soldierse to carry me out on a stretcher. Now, I know the woman will go in a panic, and believe me, I, myself, are already panicked. I am so expecting some sort of an I told you so. As they carry me out of the ne into what seems to be a very bright Summer¡¯s day. There is a slight breeze and the smell of wet sand from a storm that has just recently passed. How much I missed this. But not as much as the woman that I see as we get off the ne. I watch her carefully as she shakes her head and carries on looking past me. Well, did my soon-to-be wife just not recognize her fianc¨¦? I do not know if I should feel lucky that she has not seen my state or even offended. So I do that very stupid thing and holler for her to hear me. God knows whoever invented that word, but ya, the thing is stuck in my head, especially with Lewis practically overusing it, After what seems like my fifth attempt, she casually strolls over to where I am lying peacefully on my new mode of transportation. I watch as her eyes narrow while she is biting down on her lip, ¡°Now, before I lose any marble that I have left, you are going to tell me that you are justzy to walk, and that is why you in that stretcher.¡± I cannot help but chuckle at her, though she does not find her our words amusing, ¡°I am serious soldier, why are you in there.¡± I only shrug my shoulders, ¡°I don¡¯t know. All I know is I got shot.¡± ¡°How can you not know?¡± I see as the camp snap their heads in our direction as Ana¡¯s voice has gone a fraction louder. ¡°How can you not know?¡± She repeats once again. ¡°Boo, I have tried to ask the doctor, but both him and Ray have been dodging my questions.¡± ¡°Well,¡± she scans the crowd looking for the doctor or Ray. God, I feel sorry for the first one she founds. Then she turns to me, ¡°I will be back in a second.¡± She wanders off into the crowd, but I cannot see where she is going. All I see is Ray fleeing to the other side of the airforce ground. As for the doctor, I guess it his him that she has found. But I shove the craziness aside and watch how many Marines are back with their families again. I can see the tears of joy rolling like a river over cheeks that have burned from way too much sun. As for the rest, all they have to see is a casket; they don¡¯t even know where, but they know that between that forty-three, their beloved one is there. The one that is not going today. As we all stand here and we watch as this horrific sadness enfolds around us, we all salute them in honor and sing a very old Marine anthem. These boys did us well; without out them, we would not have made a difference. But mostly, if it were not for their bravery, some of us would not have been alive. So, what do I say, fuck my legs; I am d that I am alive. After Ana gets no joy from the very helpful nurse and her needles, mainly because the doctor saw hering and he bailed for it, I am being carried to the hospital on Pendleton. At least I am going to get a better doctor here; well, that is what I am hoping for. But let us not count those chickens just yet. Soon I am carried into a single room on the second floor of the hospital; well, it is not the first for then it was something major urgent. The second lies on the brink of major and not so major. So I can say whatever has my entire body in jello, for yes, all those goddamn painkillers have me so limp I cannot even move my damn arms, needless to say, not even my hand. As for the legs, now that is what we are waiting for. Then Ana gets that ¡°I have an idea¡± look on her face, and I know immediately that I am not going to like it. ¡°I am just going to quickly peek under the nket to see if everything is still there.¡± But from behind us, someone clears their voice loudly and steps closer, ¡°Miss, I am sure that he still has it all.¡± She only but waves him off andes to take a seat next to me, ¡°So, dear Doctor,¡± I recognize the hint of sarcasm in her voice as she addresses him. ¡°What happens to my fianc¨¦ that is so bad that nobody wants to tell him?¡± ¡°The good news is that you did not lose your other leg, it was close, but yes, it is still in some sort of a way intact.¡± I look at him strangely, ¡°Some sort of a way intact?¡± ¡°Yes, Lieutenant.¡± He moves around to the other side, away from an Ana that is near close to punching him out. ¡°You took three bullets in your femur, crushing your bone in three ces. It is a damn miracle that you are still able to walk.¡± I take a sigh of relief as I take Ana, who seems to have calmed down but wait, this man is not finished with his story. ¡°And,¡± he so joyfully adds, ¡°Unfortunately, the impact in your stump got caught in the fire I had¡­¡± then he goes ufortably softer. ¡°I had to take more away as it could not be saved at the position it was angled.¡± Then he is not even finished yet, ¡°You going have to learn to walk all over again.¡± I only but wave him off as the tears burst through that barrier that was holding them back. The fear of being defeated, of being shown that, yes, I could not do it, the fear of being a failure creeps in heavy over my heart. The pain that consumes my heart is something that one cannot bear and yet even exin. Your world crashes around you, just waiting for you to fall. I went out there to fulfill a dream, and I came back and an even more broken of a man. I will never be a Marine again. My life hase to an end now. Fuck that¡­I will do anything to get what I want, and I already have my dreams set on it. Chapter 126 My Worst Nightmare Six months¡­six months is all I had to live my dream again. To say that I am notpletely shattered would be a lie; my entire world has been thrown in a tumble. I remember the day when the doctor came into the room when he had toe to tell me that they could not save my leg. It was as if my worst nightmare came true. It was not so much a shock that I was half of myself; it was a shock that I could not be a Marine anymore. I knew then that I would get used to being the way I became, so it truly never brought me down as much as I thought it should. Yes, I felt somewhat ashamed of my leg, but as time passed by, I epted the fact that I will be different. And it was that which made me fight so hard; I wanted to be different but seen as normal. How do I even begin now? Yes, I am grateful that I still have my leg, even though it will take its time to heal, but taking away even more from what has already been taken away from me, that is worse than driving a knife through my chest. You have to learn to walk again? What the fuck does that even mean? Yes, I know that it will take time for my bones to heal, but as for having to learn something thates so naturally? It just goes beyond me. I can walk, I can get out this bed, and I can show him that I can walk, well hop around, but give me my prosthetic leg, and I can show him how I can walk. He cannot take away more than a half a man that I already am. So what does it make me now? Half of a half? Fuck that. No doctor, no man will tell me that I cannot walk. He cannot make me not normal again. I have a child on the way; how can I be a father if I cannot walk?Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Let us just backtrack for one damn second here, ¡°What do you mean I have to learn to walk again?¡± The doctor looks at me, and I can see the hesitation in his eyes. That is something that you do not wish to see from your doctor. He needs to be sure so that I can feel sure. Right now, he is throwing me off into a deep end, and it is ck; it is a ck hole with a neverending end. When I hit the bottom, then I am going to hit it hard. This makes no sense. So, ¡°What do you mean, can you just answer me?¡± ¡°Well, you are not going to be able to walk on your left leg for a while; you need for the bone to heal.¡± I immediately interrupt him, ¡°Are you not putting me in a cast?¡± ¡°Yes, of course, and I will be putting a rod to secure the bone while it heals,¡± he waits for a brief moment as he tries his best to reassure me, ¡°But I don¡¯t want you on that leg for at least four months.¡± ¡°Four months?¡± I cannot help but to burst out at him. ¡°In three months, my child is born. So I am going to be useless when my child is born? Why can I just fucking walk now?¡± He drops his head, then he looks up at me again, ¡°You need to heal that leg, Ethan, and¡­¡± he goes silent for several seconds, ¡°You have to learn to walk on another prosthetic.¡± I sigh in defeat, and I know that, yes, everything he is saying is true. But that is not what I want to hear. My reality is not to be a broken man. I have, yes, and Ana where she is standing there crying the loudest I have ever heard her cry, but as she is standing there, I want more; there is more I need in life. This is not it! So after the doctor has exined what will happen now, he leaves the room with the same heavy heart that he is leaving me. What happened to Lieutenant Ethan Hunter, the hero that everybody made me out to be. Here I am in a hospital bed again with legs that are not going to work. Right now, I am at odds with the universe. I can still not understand it. Is fate such a true word? With the doctor leaving, I have Ana moving closer. I can see her eyes are full of confusion; I can see that she does not know what to say. She knows that sorry will not mean a single thing to a man that is losing it all. So she does what she can only do what is best at the moment and remain quiet. She knows that I do not want to talk, and she is so right; I do not want to talk about it. I do not want people to feel pity for me. Look at poor Ethan; they have taken a casualty again. How am I going to tell my mother, yet even my father? I am so waiting for that ¡®I told you so¡¯ing from him. My mom, all she is going to say is the words that I do not want to hear, ¡®I am sorry.¡¯ Sorry for what, exactly what is it that any of them have done that I find myself here. Sorry is not sorry. Not when you have been dealt a raw deal. Maybe I am the one to say that I am sorry. Is this my fault for not listening to everyone when they told me that I should not go? Should those forty-three men say sorry that they decided to go? Who needs to say sorry? The one that caused it all? So as I am lost in my own mind here, and before I drift off again, I turn my face to Ana, ¡°I am sorry, boo.¡± Ya, and that is me. That waterfall that was waiting to burst open has now reached the corners of my eyes. I truly feel that I have messed up. Yet, ¡°I am really sorry, boo.¡± I watch as she only shakes her head as her own tears are streaming down, ¡°Don¡¯t say sorry, soldier. It is not your fault.¡± With only but a stutter, I take her soft, delicate hand into mine, ¡°Please do not call me that anymore.¡± She looks at me rather confused, ¡°What? What must I not call you anymore?¡± ¡°Soldier,¡± I softly whisper. ¡°A broken man is not a soldier.¡± And then I turn my face away from her. Nobody will ever see the pain in them again. Yes, I have dreams, and I want to dream big, but right now, this very moment, they all seem to be out of reach¡­again. There are so many what-ifs. What if I stayed at camp like I was supposed to be. What if I was in a different Humvee. What if I stood in another ce. What-if. It is not going to get me anywhere. For four months, I am going to be a nothing. How am I going to be a father? How can a father hold his child when he cannot even walk straight. I am going to be such a goddamn burden not being able to do much for myself. Well, this is where I am wrong. I am going to prove this damn doctor wrong. I am going to show him that no matter how hard he is going to knock me down, I am going to get up again. And that day when I stay up, that is the day that I willeugh in his face. I will prove to Ana that she does not need to look after me; she does not feel like I am in the way. Yet, I am going to be a buff Marine with a damn thing on his leg and a prosthetic that is going to take time to get used to again. When Ana is having an ultrasound, I am having fucking physio. What a nice life I have created for myself. But there I go again; I feel sorry for myself. If I do not want people to feel sorry for me, then I should try and stop feeling sorry for myself. This is only but a hurdle, a little stone that has been thrown in my path. I can ovee this, I have done it before, and I can do it once again. I need to keep reminding myself what is the bigger picture. I must remember what the prize is at the end. There is that dream; it is what I am always striving for. A better version of myself. Yes, right now, I do not want to be called a soldier, but once I have been through this hurdle, I have a dream. I want to be a Raider. Chapter 127 Keep Your Dreams Close Today is the day that I break my mom¡¯s heart again. They have to make the very dreadful drive here under the pretense toe to visit. Unfortunately, neither Ana nor me have told them about where I am currently finding myself. We have lied to them and told them that I am back safely at home. Well, we did notpletely lie; I am at home, just not at the real home where I should be. When they said that they wanted toe to see me, we did not have the heart to tell them what is really going on. So yes¡­my mom is going to cry. And¡­my dad is going to be pissed. As for me, my spirits are up, and I am so ready to go home, but this wise-ass doctor feels the need to keep me here for at least a few days. Like not being able to do what I want is bad enough, now I have to be stuck in this bed here. Ana keeps on telling me that she does not know how I can keep on smiling. I say, well, what is the purpose of feeling sad for myself. My only concern is how this is affecting her and the baby. I can still not get over how damn big she is. And every time that little man kicks, I can still not get over that warm fuzziness I feel inside either. Right now, the only two constant things in my life are my fianc¨¦ and my baby. Which does lead me to this. We have not set a date yet, and I know that it is going to be one of my mom¡¯s questions. Well, I ain¡¯t getting married like this, so it will not be happening in the next four months. I know that Ana understands that. She has been so supportive; I cannot wish for a greater woman by my side. So with that very woman next to me, I can see the nerves growing on her. She is about to go home and meet up with my parents. God, how I hate that she has to do this alone, but she has insisted that she rather bring them here than let theme themselves. Yes, this is such a messed-up situation, but we have run through the scenarios so many times in the past two days that I reluctantly agreed for her to do it. And as she looks down at me with those deep brown eyes, I cannot help but let the tears fall down my cheek, ¡°Boo, you don¡¯t have to do this.¡±N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. ¡°Hey, sol¡­¡± yes, she still forgets that I do not want to be called that. I think, in a way, I am being pathetic, but right now, how can I feel like a soldier when I can¡¯t feel like a man. ¡°Hey,¡± she starts again. I am going to fetch them, you¡­you just hang in there.¡± With that, she turns and leaves my hospital room; I know that she is crying that is why she is not facing me as she walks out the door. If I ever felt like a burden, then right now, this is the perfect time to feel like one. So while she is off to bring shock to my parents, I am lying here with only my thoughts. Now, there is a story that I can tell you about a man that has been here before. Then he only had trouble with his one leg, but yet, that man proved that he could be a Marine again. Now, this man finds himself with not one but two legs that do not quite want to work. But guess what, this fucking man is going to be a Raider. Well, his fianc¨¦ does not quite know about it yet. But we will cross that bridge once I can walk. And walk, that is what my mom and my dad are doing right now; at this very minute, they are walking into this room where there are about toe to a thousand emotions into y. My mom does not hesitate; she does not even wonder; she immediately races over to me and can only but utter a few words from underneath her sobbing tears, ¡°My god, Ethan, what happened?¡± But before I answer, I watch my dad; he is standing in the doorway next to Ana. He does not move; he does not say anything; he just stands there motionless like he has seen a ghost. And then from behind him, out steps my brother, I hear as he curses, and my dad has to catch him as he nearly falls to his knees. So I am lying here and watching as my entire family falls apart because I am stubborn, and I will continue to be stubborn to do the things that I love. But how do I exin to them that this does not bother me, that this is just a setback? I signed up for this; it is what drives my bones, even if those bones are broken. With saying that, my mom, who has now fallen down with her head on my chest, gets her breath back and looks at me, ¡°Ethan, what happened? What is wrong?¡± It takes me a few seconds to find my own breath as I exin to her, with my dad looking on, why I am here. And as expected, my mom breaks down again, ¡°God, please tell me that you are going to be okay?¡± ¡°Yes, mom,¡± I give her a shy smile, but truly a real one. ¡°I am going to be perfectly fine. I just have to learn to walk.¡± And I should not have said that, for next, my dades closer, and I can hear the anger in his voice, ¡°What do you mean that you need to learn to walk again?¡± I try not to snap at him, for I know he means well, but this is not the time for anger. Not only is it upsetting my mom, but I can see Ana is crying again. ¡°Dad, I need to get a new prosthetic; I need to learn how to walk on it. As with the other leg, well, only time and the physio will tell.¡± ¡°But for god sake, Ethan,¡± his face grow hot from his anger. ¡°Why do you insist on doing this if this is what is going to happen. You have a wife and child. How can you have been so reckless?¡± Then that is me, I snap back at him, ¡°At least you are not standing between forty-three caskets looking for me. I will continue to do this. It is what I live for. My family and being a Marine.¡± Well, yes, again, I should not have said that, for now; I have Ana ring at me, so not trying to make a scene, she casually steps forward, ¡°What do you mean to continue doing this?¡± ¡°Is this like ¡®Pick on fucking Ethan?¡¯ I am merely making a statement.¡± At least then Mattyes and stands next to me; in one very rare moment, he takes my hand and squeezes it. ¡°I am just d you are here. I don¡¯t care how many broken bones you have.¡± He looks at my mom and dad, and quite daringly, he shakes his head at them. ¡°You are constantly looking for all the wrongs that Ethan and I are doing. Have you stopped for one second and see the good?¡± I watch as that anger in my father grows, as he is about to give Matty a good scolding, but then he backs off. ¡°Sorry, son. I, well, your mom and me, we just did not expect to see this.¡± Ana pulls a chair closer for her and my mom, and they take a seat next to my bed. Once my mom, hopefully, for now, stopped crying, she takes my other hand and holds it firmly in her warm ones, ¡°You are such a stubborn little boy. When you were young, you were stubborn, and you still am. You were just like your father when he was young too.¡± Now, I can not help it, but I burst out in uncontrobleughter, ¡°I would think that he was an angry boy.¡± ¡°Hey, you are never old enough for a hiding,¡± I watch as he finally grows a rare smile on his face. ¡°But now, honestly, how do I get for Maggie not to milk this? You know she is going to want another interview again.¡± Ana lets out a burst of nervousughter; that is one thing that we still need to discuss. Are we staying here at base, or are we moving back home? I think she can be fairly safe to say that if we are going to stay here that I have not given up on being a Marine. I might say that I am, but she knows she can see it in my eyes, and when I talk with determination to heal, she knows that I am finding that strength to prove myself. I am never going to stop proving myself. The only question is, will she allow me to do it?¡± Chapter 128 Ready For The World It is myst day that I have to be stuck in this hospital bed. I can honestly say that I am relieved. Ana has been having great difficulty with traveling back and forth to the hospital. Yes, she still has a little less than three months to go, but the woman is huge, and she is struggling. I have picked the perfect time to be useless. Now, my mother insisted on staying, but I think I might have just killed my father. Well, my mother would keep on telling me to sit down while my father would scold me for not listening. Needless to say, my family have gone back home, where they are eagerly waiting for us to return. That is a discussion that Ana and I will need to haveter. So, after she schedules her next ultrasound, she and a rather mean nurse that had done nothing but argue with me when I wanted to do something for myself, they bothe walking into the room with a wheelchair. Ya, that is where I stop it, ¡°I am not getting into that fucking thing.¡± ¡°Ethan!¡± Ana raises her voice but a fraction, ¡°You do know that the baby can hear you?¡± I only but chuckle at her, ¡°Ya, right. He is in your stomach.¡±N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. She bites down on her lip and slightly cock her head; I know that just around about now, ¡°Get into that damn thing, or I make you.¡± ¡°Boo,¡± I softly whisper. ¡°The baby can hear you. Damn is also, well perhaps it might be a curse word.¡± She steps only but a few steps closer to me, and of course, there is no way I am running, so the t of her hand knocks the back of my head. ¡°Stop being a wise-ass and get into that wheelchair.¡± ¡°But, boo, can¡¯t they give me crutches?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t, you worry, those are in the car, but there ain¡¯t no way that you are walking there.¡± I look at her as her ears are turning slightly red. Yes, she is mad. So I do as she says, and the nurse helps me into the wheelchair. But then the thoughtes to me, ¡°Who is going to help me out of the car? There is no way I am letting you lift my buff ass out at home.¡± She but only shakes her head at me as she hisses under her breath, ¡°Gibbs as at home waiting.¡± Well, there is a friendly face that I know I would like to see. So after struggling, very much to my frustration, to get into the wheelchair so that I can sitfortably, the nurses pushes me down the corridor towards the entrance. As we reach the door, I look at Ana, and I can see some relief roll over her face. I take her hand andce my fingers into hers, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, boo, the next time we see this ce is when that boy is born.¡± She stops for but one second and ce her hands on her waist; she points down to her belly as she puffs her lips, ¡°Who said that this is going to be a boy?¡± ¡°Well, if the baby is making you so moody, then it has to be a boy.¡± ¡°Please exin to me how you came to that conclusion?¡± ¡°I am a boy, and you get moody at me.¡± Ya, she does not find that quite as funny as I am finding it. The nurse only but chuckles as she helps me into the car; then, just before she leaves, she ces her hand gently on my shoulder, ¡°You will be fine. Now, please, I do not want to see you in my ward again.¡± Just as I am about to give her a wise-assment, she closes the door on me and walks off. I watch as poor Ana needs to get that belly of her behind the steering wheel. And, fuck, do I feel even more shit about myself. Though the minute she sees me staring, she stops and points at me, ¡°I am also okay, so please do not think you need to treat me special.¡± She ces a soft kiss on my lips, ¡°You are not useless.¡± Well, I guess I am not going to argue; she is a woman with a purpose, and her purpose right now is to get me home. The drive home is fairly quiet; I know a hundred things are running over in her mind, and trust me, I am almost sure it is the same ones that are making thread marks in mine. If there were a way that I can fast forward our lives past four months, then I would grab the opportunity if it presents itself. Unfortunately, we will have to navigate our lives into the great unknown for now. I do not have all the answers that she has the questions for; hell, I don¡¯t know how to answer some of my own. Right now, there are only two things that count, where are we staying, and where am I going to go. But I push that to the back of my mind, for we areing up to the driveway where I can see Gibbs waiting for us in his car. Now, as the man gets out, there is definitely the same expression that everyone has the first time theyid their eyes on me. Guess I am going to get that one for some while toe. As soon as wee to a stop, he rushes to my door; as he opens it for me, I watch him gasp, ¡°Fuck, Lieutenant, you really messed up this time.¡± I look at Ana and then look at him, then I softly whisper, ¡°You cannot say fuck. Mommy over there says that the baby can hear you.¡± Gibbs can hardly contain hisughter as Ana walks ahead to go open the front door. I don¡¯t know how she is doing it, but she is keeping strong and motivated. I hope, after all this mess, that she still knows how much I love her. What else I love is the expression on Gibbs¡¯s face as he hopelessly tries to get me out of the front seat. Now the man can handle a missileuncher, but he cannot lift a man out of a car. After what seems almost five minutes, he has me out and ready to walk in these damn fucking crutches. Ya, Ana, I just cursed twice again. But I do feel so much better as I can walk myself to the door. As I confidently walk into the house, I can see that there is a smile on Ana¡¯s face. If she keeps on smiling like that whenever I can prove myself, then being stuck useless will be worthwhile. So, while she is off making coffee, Gibbs sits opposite me in the lounge; he only but shakes his head, and I know it is out of frustration. Not only frustration but guilt. I know that he is punishing himself, for he thinks he could have done something different. ¡°Hey,¡± I call for him to look me in the eyes. ¡°There is nothing that you could have done. It happened. You know how it is out there.¡± ¡°Ethan,¡± he runs his hand nervously through his hair. ¡°You were in my squad. You were my responsibility.¡± ¡°Yes, and I am the Lieutenant. You all are my responsibility.¡± I drop my head and stare at the scars on my hands that will remind me of that day. Then I look back to Gibbs again, ¡°Those forty-three Marines were my responsibility. Stop beating yourself up about it. We all know what we sign up for.¡± ¡°But, fuck, Ethan.¡± I watch as he sps his hand in front of his mouth and looks if Ana has heard him. I only but chuckle as he carries on, ¡°You already so beaten up, it should not have happened.¡± ¡°Gibbs, if it did not happen to me, it would have happened to someone else. Hey, I was in the right ce at the wrong time. Shit happens. We are Marines. Shit is always going to happen.¡± ¡°I think your misses are going to p you; that was twice you cursed.¡± I swear if I could, I would have gotten up and pped him against the head, so all I but do is throw a scatter cushion at him. But then his face turns all serious again, ¡°So what are you going to do now? Are you going back home?¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± I watch as he raises his eyebrows. Then he looks at me with those piercing blue eyes, ¡°What are you up to, Lieutenant? Is it Ethan or still Lieutenant?¡± ¡°Well,¡± I start again. ¡°That, my dear friend, that is a good question.¡± ¡°You are surely not thinking ofing back?¡± He looks at me and only but shakes his head, ¡°You know that you are fucking crazy if you are?¡± ¡°I am, well, my aspirations have grown. Let us just say that Emma had some other effect on me too.¡± ¡°You are surely not¡­¡± He stops immediately as he sees Ana enter. Chapter 129 Received What You Ask For The things that you go through now, the heartache and the pain, the smiles and theughter, that prepares you for your fate, for your destiny. All the if¡¯s, the why¡¯s, the will¡¯s and want¡¯s, brings you what you ask for. The thing is, when you ask for something, you need to make sure to be clear, or you maynd with something you asked for but did not really want. If you the lucky few, you will get what you asked for but receive a whole lot more, a whole lot that you did not expect but that you realize you actually wanted. What is my fate? Well, as I sit here looking at Ana as she is taking a seat next to me and then at Gibbs that is sitting across from me, I cannot help but wonder what is my destiny. What has fate destined for me? I have been through shit and back, and I am still standing, and it is this that makes me feel that what is deep in my heart is my true fate. Now, as Ana speaks, I cannot help but wonder, ¡°What are you boys whispering about?¡± Is this the moment to tell her? ¡°Nothing, boo, just boy stuff.¡± She only but shakes her head at me as she narrows her eyes, ¡°You are up to something.¡± ¡°We can talk about itter,¡± I try to reassure her. ¡°I am sure that Gibbs does not want to hear at us argue.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± She raises her brow, ¡°So you are up to something? Best youe out with it now so Gibbs can stop me from strangling you.¡± I burst out inughter as she starts to move inches away from me, preparing herself for what is about toe. So with one confident smile, I turn to face her while Gibbs starts to move ufortably around. ¡°Boo, I was thinking.¡± ¡°God, if you start with that, then I already know it is something that is going to get you in trouble. But yes, let us hear this brilliant thing that you are thinking of.¡± ¡°Well,¡± I start to exin again. Now, this is the perfect time where I can stop and just shut up, but let us not forget who Ethan Hunter is. And it is this very man that starts to speak with confidence, ¡°I want to go back when I am ready.¡± Ya, from the height of her voice at a pitch that is near deafening, sheunches her words at me, ¡°You want to do what?¡± ¡°I. I want¡­¡± ¡°You want to go get yourself killed again. Is it not enough that you can nearly not walk?¡± ¡°But boo, my legs will be fine in six months.¡± ¡°Oh yes, and what about your baby?¡± This is where some people, depending on whom you are talking to, but this exact moment is where they will say that I am selfish. Hey, they might even say that I am irresponsible. But why do I have to keep on reminding everybody who and what I am? Does no one understand what it means to have a passion, to do something that gives a meaning? Yes, my child is my passion too, and he means more than the world to me, but it is not like I am going to be an absent father. I am not a bad man, and god knows that I am not going to be a bad husband. I do not see what is wrong in doing what I see is my job and still have a family. But ya, ¡°Boo, I will be here when the baby is born and even for a while after that. It is not like I am going to go away now.¡± ¡°It does not matter, Ethan. Why do you insist on doing this?¡± ¡°Boo, you know what this means to me. This is always going to be what I want to do.¡± I can see from the corner of my eye as Gibbs is eager to make a break for the door. If this were not so serious, then I would beughing at him. But he does not know one little detail. Perhaps it is not the time to tell him, or should I rather say ask him. The problem now is convincing Ana. However, I need to be more clear about what I ask. So I take a deep breath and take the amused smile off my face. Turning back to Ana, I can see her face is burning red hot from anger. As I drop my head to look down at my legs, I think to myself, should I even bother? But then that spark in my heart ignites my determination again. ¡°Boo, I want to be a Raider.¡± ¡°You. Want. To. Be. What?¡± I move only but an inch away, as her handes flying and hits me t on the back of my head. ¡°Have. You. Lost. Your. Mind?¡± She looks at me and cocks her head waiting for me to answer, but I remain quiet for but a minute. Perhaps this is not a good idea to be talking about this now. I am working her up and only upsetting the baby. So I reach out for her hand, but she only pulls it away. With a voice that is almost a whisper, I try to lean in closer, ¡°Boo, we can talk about this another time. I don¡¯t want you to upset the baby.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± she huffs at me. ¡°But you will upset the mother. How long have you had this idea in your head?¡± I look at Gibbs that is still sitting there, wishing for a way to get out of here, and then I turn back to her, ¡°Well, I have been thinking about it since that time I spoke to Chief nket.¡± ¡°Ethan, why have you not told me this before?¡± ¡°Boo, I know that you would have been upset like you are now.¡± ¡°You are damn right¡­¡± I immediately interrupt her, ¡°You can¡¯t say that word in front of the baby.¡± ¡°Ethan, you can be d I don¡¯t punch you in front of Gibbs and the baby. Now let me damn well finish. You have no idea how it feels when I have to sit and worry if you are going toe back home. All you damn men, you have no idea what you put your women through.¡± ¡°But, boo¡­¡± ¡°No, Ethan, there is no but¡¯s. You have a baby on the way, and now you want off to go and win some war again. I understand what it means to you, but your family means just as much.¡± ¡°Boo, it is not like I am deserting my family. I am not leaving you and the baby. I will only be away for a short while at a time.¡± ¡°Yes, like six months at a time?¡± ¡°Boo¡­¡± ¡°No, Ethan.¡± With that, she gets off from the chair and storms off to the room. It is only secondster as I hear her m the door. The sound is so deafening that it makes the windows vibrate in the lounge. Ya, she is angry. But I am not about to give up. I can be a Marine and a father and, most of all, a good husband. I just need to convince her. What else needs convincing is Gibbs. He has been like my brother; we have never been apart since we have been serving. He always has my back, and I will never desert him. If we do this, we do this together. So with a wicked smile on my face, I turn to him, ¡°I want you toe with me.¡± He looks at me in disbelief and only shakes his head, ¡°I don¡¯t understand? You want me toe where with you?¡± ¡°I want us both to join the Raiders.¡± He bursts out in uncontrobleughter as he falls back into the chair, ¡°You have seriously lost your mind. Your misses has not even said yes.¡± ¡°Ya, Ana has not said yes, but I want to know if I go that you wille with me?¡± ¡°Ethan,¡± he stopsughing and moves to the edge of the chair as the seriousness creeps into his voice. ¡°You know that I will always have your back. Where you go, there I go.¡± And that is all I need to reassure me that I am making the right decision. We might sign up for something that will bring us back in a box, but we sign up for something that has got meaning. And this is what I wish that Ana will understand. For the rest of the afternoon, Gibbs and I do not mention it further. Ana never doese out of her room; only muchter, when she hears Gibbs is leaving, does shee out to the lounge again. She takes a seat next to me, and as she looks into my eyes, I can see that she has been crying. ¡°Boo, I am so sorry if I upset you.¡± ¡°You did not upset me; you reminded me how easy it is that I can lose you.¡± ¡°You will never lose me; you know that no matter what it takes, I will always find my way back to you.¡± ¡°So you are serious about this?¡± My heart stops a beat, and I cannot help but think that my answer might break her, but what is worse is if I lie to her, ¡°Yes, boo. I really want to do this.¡± ¡°Ethan, I¡­¡± Just then, there is a knock on the door.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Chapter 130 A Bond Between Brothers If there was ever someone choosing bad timing, it is the idiot that is now knocking at my door. I was only seconds away from hearing Ana¡¯s answer. So I just ignore the knocking and cock my head as I wait for her to finish, but she only frowns and points for me to go and see who has decided to bring their intrusion at thiste hour. It is very reluctantly that I drag my feet to the door, where the knocking has now be more persistently. I hope whoever it is, that I am going to make them pay for letting me struggle my way over to the doorway. And as the knocking gets louder, I only but a growl from deep in my chest, ¡°I aming. Just hang bloody on.¡± With utmost irritation, I fling the door open, ready to punch the man that is behind it. But as I stare at the person on the other side, I only but grow a smile, ¡°Matty, what the fuck are you doing here?¡± From the lounge, I hear a voice echo, ¡°You better watch that mouth of yours, soldier.¡± I only chuckle and pull Matty into a very unstable hug, ¡°What are you doing here?¡± ¡°Are you not going to let a man in?¡± Ya, me and my dumb brain. So I lead him to the lounge, where an eager Ana awaits his presence. She nearly tumbles over as she leaps into his arms. Since that very unfortunate incident with Mark, she and Matt grew much closer. For what seems to be a good long minute, he squeezes her. Well, the man needs to get his hands off my fianc¨¦; I am eager to know why he finds himself here, ¡°So to what do we owe this pleasure?¡± He fumbles as he looks for his words, ¡°Oh, I was around and thought that I would drop in.¡± I only but raise my brow, ¡°Where around?¡± I watch as he looks away, and I know this man is hiding something, so I patiently wait for him to speak, ¡°I have a job that I found out here.¡± Well, knock me over with a bat. Did the man finally decide to get away from that silly little town? But yet I know that I should not make a joke of it, for it probably took him a great deal of courage toe this far. ¡°So, what kind of job is it?¡± ¡°Well, you see,¡± he pauses for a brief few seconds, then he nces over to where Ana is sitting, ¡°I kind of¡­¡± Ana immediately gets up, ¡°I think this might be a talk just for you boys. I will grab you a beer.¡± With that, she is off to the kitchen, leaving a somewhat nervous Matt with me. Now, this man does not get very nervous that often; whatever it is that he has on his mind must be quite serious. So I leave him to gather his voice, and I think even the courage that he requires. After Ana brings us both a beer, she makes her way to the bedroom, then finally, Matt speaks again, ¡°I have enlisted.¡± Okay, I think I must be hearing voices in my head; maybe even I am thinking about myself wanting to enlist to be a Raider. So perhaps I have heard himpletely wrong. Then for some odd reason, I swallow rather deeply before I take a breath, ¡°I don¡¯t think I heard what you said, Matty.¡± ¡°I said,¡± then he goes all quiet. I think perhaps, but wait, ¡°I said that I have enlisted.¡± That shock that was there before returns again, ¡°You mean as here at Pendleton?¡± ¡°Well, where else would I enlist?¡± ¡°Hey, for all I know, you are joining a cult or something.¡± He only but bursts out in a fit of uncontrobleughter, ¡°I think you should stick to your day job. Now, I am really serious; I have enlisted.¡± ¡°Fuck.¡± I swallow my words slowly before Anaes and knocks me against the head. Matt only chuckles, then I break the silence again, ¡°I don¡¯t know what to say. I am so damn excited, fuck, Matty, I am proud of you. Whatever made you decide to do such a crazy thing?¡± ¡°Bro, I can¡¯t let you steal all the thunder. And of course, can you imagine all the chicks I am going to pick up.¡± ¡°Trust you to see things that way. You know there is more to it.¡± He runs his fingers through his hair as he softly mumbles, ¡°I guess I want to be like my big brother.¡± Well, ya, that is me. I am already a mess with everything that has happened today, now Mattes and throws this in andpletely renders me speechless. It takes me a great deal to hold the tears back that are starting to trickle in the corner of my eyes. But if I think it is easy for him, I can see him with his head lowered. With great difficulty, I rise from my chair and go sit next to him. ¡°Hey, I am proud of you. This must have taken a lot of courage. Please promise me you are doing this for yourself and not for me and least of all, dad?¡± His voice onlyes out as a whisper as he tries to find the words to exin, ¡°No, I am doing this because I want to matter. I don¡¯t want to be a washed-out techy that sits behind a table.¡± With that, I pull him into a brotherly embrace, holding him firm around the shoulders while his body gently shudders. Now, does this make me feel greater about my drive and determination to be a soldier, to be a Marine? Yes, ten thousand times over, I will keep making the same decision. So as I finally break the hug and look at him, ¡°Where are you staying?¡± ¡°I need to report for duty at the barracks in the morning.¡± ¡°Well, then it is settled; you will stay here tonight.¡± With that I get up to go to Ana, now, I need to check with the Misses, but I am sure that she won¡¯t have any problem. While I disappear into the bedroom, Matt goes outside to fetch his bag from the car. And ya, I think this conversation is about to get very interesting. So as she sees mee into the room, she can read my face from a mile away; it only takes her two seconds, ¡°What have you two done?¡± ¡°Boo, really? Am I that bad?¡± ¡°Soldier, bad does not even begin to describe it. Now tell me what you and Matt messed up again?¡±Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Boo, I have told him that he can stay here tonight.¡± She gently bites into her lip while a frown creeps over her face, ¡°Okay, so, what is he doing out all this way?¡± ¡°He is starting a new, uhm¡­I guess you can call it a job.¡± ¡°Soldier, it is either a job or not. What has this man gotten himself into?¡± Bless this woman¡¯s soul; she knows the Hunter boys better than they know themselves. She can spot a schemeing before it even happens. But now the question begs, how is she going to take what I am about to say next? ¡°Boo, Matt has enlisted.¡± Ya, again, the room fallspletely silent, and I know, I can even feel it before ites my way, she is going to p me against the head and fuck, it is going to hurt. Yet, she only but takes short rapid breaths; the poor woman has now worked up herself. ¡°Do you,¡± her voice ising out as a rumble, ¡°Do you want to tell me that your brother has decided to follow in your footsteps?¡± ¡°Boo, it is not like that.¡± ¡°Well, please exin to me why another Hunter boy wants to go y war? Is it something in the blood?¡± ¡°Actually, boo, it is.¡± Now, that I should not have said, for next, the t of her palm makes swift contact with the back of my head, sending vibrations through my body. She seems to think that if she smacks me, that I would get a bit more sense than what I currently have, but I only see it as her smacking some extra love into my heart. So once she is satisfied that I am fully to my senses, she asks the question again, ¡°You are telling me that Matty has left that little town that he loves toe here and be a Marine?¡± ¡°Yes, boo.¡± She only but shakes her head and cups my face in her hands; as she moves inch by inch closer, she ces her soft lips against mine. ¡°You are going to drive me insane. I really hope that this is not a boy because you Hunter boys are impossible.¡± After tucking her in, I make my way back to the lounge, where Matt has settled. As I hand him another beer, there is a warmth that grows in my heart, and I can only but smile, ¡°Here is to being a Marine.¡± Chapter 131 Chances And Choices The thing about life is that it is never constant. The only constant I can assure myself at present is Ana and the baby. What changes is everything else. The choices and decisions you make will never remain the same. Though some things are certainties, and that is your dreams. They, too, might change, but the thing is that you are constantly dreaming about something. The measures that you will go to achieve these things do measure you as a man. I believe that if you always y it safe, then you are purely just a coward. You sit, and you wait, and you let fate decide for you what is going to happen next. But the thing with fate is that it takes you down that road you ever so often avoid taking. Well, I am not that man; I am a dreamer. And when I dream, I dream big. So I am finding myself at a ce that I do not want to be. I am at a crossroads, with a difficult decision to make. Do I turn right and put my dreams aside, turn them away and start a new life? Or do I turn left, and follow those dreams, embrace who I am? Whichever way I go, whichever choice I make, it will define whom I will be once again. While Matty is getting ready to head off to the barracks, I watch him as the nervousness starts to creep up in his face. The man is going to do good, he just needs to believe in himself, and this is what I will remind him of, ¡°Hey, Matty, I will see you out there?¡± He only cocks his head and looks at me with a frown, ¡°Did the Misses say yes?¡± ¡°Well, we still need to discuss that one, but¡­¡± Then he interrupts me, for Ana has just stepped out of the room, and in an instant, we change the conversation to the baby and ya, that wedding thing that still needs to happen. Now that wedding thing, well, that is not going to happen until I can walk without these damn crutches. The baby will be here in three months; Ana is, to put it politely, the woman is big; there is no way that we are going to look like the odd pair out in our wedding photos. After messing around for half an hour, the timees for Matty to leave. As I show him off, I give him one big brotherly hug, ¡°You will do good out there. Just keep your head up.¡± He looks at me with concern in his eyes, ¡°Why don¡¯t you juste back to being a Marine? Why have you got to go be all fancy? ¡°Hey, you know me, I have to do it bigger. But like I said, we will see each other out there. But just promise me one thing.¡± Those damn tears start to build in the corners of my eyes. I promised myself that I was not going to do this. But ya, what the hell, ¡°Be safe out there.¡± ¡°Bro, you are going to make me go with red eyes to the barracks, then Iing back to smack you.¡± I only but burst out inughter as I see him disappear down the driveway, making his way to the bus stop. If I was ever a proud brother, then this is the moment. It seems Matty has grown all up from chasing girls and ying with techy shit. And ying is Ana standing behind me, twirling her finger in her hair; now I know the woman has something on her mind, and that twirling thing means that she is waiting for me. So I take my steps as slowly as I possibly can and take a seat somewhat nervously next to her, waiting for that very smack that she has been wanting to give to me. ¡°Soldier, let us talk about this. Are you serious about this Raider thing?¡± ¡°Boo, I am not going to lie to you¡­¡± She immediately interrupts me, ¡°Yes, because I will p you if you do. Now I heard what Matty said, why don¡¯t you just be a normal Marine?¡± ¡°Boo, where is the fun in that.¡± I watch her as she grinds on her teeth, and I know that she is controlling that urge to smack me between the ears, ¡°So, this is what you are going to do?¡± ¡°Only if you say yes.¡± ¡°Well,¡± she starts. ¡°I know that if I say no that you are going to walk around here the whole day and feel absolutely sorry for yourself, and I don¡¯t want to be the person that makes you so unhappy.¡±Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°So, does this then mean it is a yes?¡± ¡°Yes, soldier.¡± ¡°Boo, I¡­fuck¡­what do I say?¡± I watch as her eyes begin to pool with trickles of tears, ¡°Just go be the best Raider.¡± She does not approve of what I am set to do; yet though she still remains by my side. Without any hesitation, this woman loves me with all her heart. She, in her own right, owns my heart, this body that is carved to perfection, and every flicker of my soul. This all belongs to Ana. And it is this Ana that only but leans in closer against my sculpted chest, breath by a breath, she moves her deep cherry lips, closer and closer, with only one wink¡­ our lips touch. She tastes like cotton candy and feels smoother than those silk pajamas that hug her body around her perfect curves and belly. It takes me back to our first kiss; it is freshly carved in my memory; it only feels like it was only yesterday. With my eyes wide open, I admire the beauty that lies in her; with those brown eyes, she looks straight into my soul. She knows more than anybody else who Ethan Hunter really is, and for parts, she is the one that turned him whom he has be Every time that she is close to me, it still sets my heart racing. The sweet smell of her perfume is the only scent that brings pleasure to my senses. With those deep cherry lips, she can drive a man beyond crazy. She runs her hand through my hair and pulls me even closer; the world around us haspletely faded away; she is my only focus. I ce my hand at the small of her back, and she sys her hand against my chest. ¡°Ethan.¡± ¡°Ssshhh, boo.¡± I ce my finger around her cherry lips, preventing her from saying yet another word. We lean in a little closer, inch by inch, we move until our foreheads are gently touching. I stare deep into her brown eyes; I cannot fight against the thoughts that she has run through my mind. I totallye undone as she floods all my senses. My heart is beating so loud; it feels like I am going to explode. With hands that are slightly trembling, I whisper in her ear. ¡°I love you so damn much, boo.¡± My hand drifts to her hips and settles there for a minute before I pull her closer into me. She inhales sharply and gasps as I lift her onto myp. She locks her arms around my neck and runs her fingers through my hair. I begin to nuzzle her neck with soft kisses, so soft they felt like whispers. Her lipse closer to mine, and our breaths mingle. My heart flutter inside my chest. For what seems like an eternity, we just stare into each other¡¯s eyes. She looks down at my slightly parted lips. We both lean into each other in slow motion, never breaking eye contact once. Then we begin to close the gap even more than before. With a slight pull of her hair, I bend her head backward, giving me easy ess to her lips. My warm breath lingers just for a second; I feel that I cannot breathe, I cannot move, my entire body stiffening. Then she kisses me. When she kisses me, my brain lights on fire, and the warmth spread throughout my entire body. I am addicted to her, I cannot bear being without her, and I can barely breathe when she is around. These kisses are my salvation and my torment. I live for them, and I would die with the memory of them on my lips. I dedicate my life to being with her, for I know that if I lose her, I will lose myself. She is the half that made me whole. I never set out to fall in love; to me, love was a small fickle thing. Love made a man weak, and being a Marine weak is the worst kind of ce you can find yourself in. Love was a thing for dreamers, a thing that is chased by people with their heads in the clouds and not their feet on the ground. Love found me when I was not looking. I was not paying attention. It drew me in and kept me captive. It made me feel and experience so many feelings all at once. It took me on a journey that I know is not even close to ending. I know that it won¡¯t be easy and that I am going to get broken sometimes, but I know for a fact that it is going to be worth every second of my life. After what seems like being away for hours, we part and put our foreheads together. Then she looks at me with a strained look on her face. ¡°Boo, what is it?¡± ¡°Something is wrong, soldier.¡± Chapter 132 Struck By Panic I never expected that when you are expecting a child that everything you do or you say bes tenfold. Before, you only had yourself to look after, but now you have the lives of two others that you need to carry like crystal in your hands. I can honestly say that I never felt so scared and so excited at the same time. So when moments as thesee and knock your breath away, it seems that you exactly know what to do, without even a question, you react. So it is with pure terror that I look at Ana. Now she is being very vague, so I truly do no know what to expect. What is the meaning? What is she saying? All I know it is best not to question her and do that very thing, and react. Though for now, for a brief moment, I am not going to panic. Well, at least not yet. So I turn to her slowly, ¡°What do you mean something is wrong, boo?¡± ¡°Something is wrong; something does not feel right?¡± And as I watch her ce her hand on her belly, that horror that I thought I did not need to have, ites rushing like ice, sending shivers up my spine, rendering mepletely helpless. It only takes but one second for me to react; I have the car keys, I have her bag, and even the bag for the baby. Next, I have her by the hand; while she still wants to protest, I have her out the front door. In less than two minutes after she uttered those words, she is in the front seat of the car, and we are rushing off, my destination¡­the hospital, where that damn Doctor better be. There are a million thoughts that run through this uneasy mind as I stare at her with a face that is paler than the white dress that she is wearing. There is a hint of fear hidden in her eyes that she is trying to keep strong. She is trying her best not to fall apart, and that I can see as her hand trembles while I am holding it tightly. I have no idea what to say to her. Fuck. I don¡¯t even know what is wrong. All that she is saying is that something is wrong. That is all that her voice mumbles as she tries to speak while I am asking her questions. And then she keeps on telling me to take her home. If this were not so goddamn scary, I would be getting frustrated. But this is not the time for being an asshole just because you cannot understand a word thates from your wife¡¯s mouth. So for what seems to be almost half an hour, yet it is only twenty minutes, we are rushing to bring the car to a standstill as we have reached the hospital entrance. As I bring the wheels to a screeching halt, I am immediately out of the car and next to her to help her out of her seat. With bags in the hand, I am taking her through the hospital doors towards the reception. After having a rather annoying fight with one of thedies to send for a wheelchair and arrange for us to see the Doctor, we are finally moving down the hallway towards the rooms where the Doctor will be waiting for us. Now, if I say that I have stopped breathing for the past half an hour, then I would truly not be lying. The terror that has gripped my heart and my body has rendered mepletely helpless to the point that I should not be able to function. But the adrenaline that is pumping through my veins, and the fact that it is the baby, is the only reason that I am moving forward. As we finally make our way to the rooms, still not having said a single word to each other, I turn to her and pull her deep into my arms, ¡°Boo, you are going to be okay.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± she tries to object once again. I only but pull her deeper into my arms, then we see the Doctor peek his head through the door, showing for us toe into the examination room. There is not a lot being said; I only but look at the Doctor and try to find my own damn voice, ¡°Doctor, Ana said something is wrong.¡± And as the Doctor looks at Ana, that is betweenughing and crying; I know he is not getting a word from her. But why the fuck the woman isughing? That I don¡¯t know. But ya¡­ I am left to try and exin, ¡°She just said something is wrong.¡± The Doctor looks at me rather annoyed, ¡°What exactly is wrong, Mr. Hunter.¡± Then I turn my head to Ana, that has nowpletely burst out into tears. Well, asking her something right now is pretty useless. So after going through a whole list of twenty questions, then even twenty after that, he shows for Ana to get dressed in that horrible gown which I still firmly believe they let you put on the wrong way around. Now I have not been with her for one of these examinations, and it already looks fucking scary. As I look at the machine standing next to the bed that Ana is lying on, my body just cringes. The better part of my judgment tells me not to ask any questions about what is about to happen. I might just faint again, then both Ana and I will both be pretty useless. And useless is me asking her, ¡°Boo, are you okay?¡± I watch as she can only shake her head at me; whatever has her spooked this way must be damn serious. I have never seen Ana gonepletely quiet, still betweenughing and crying. I am going to write it off to being pure hormones. So I only but squeeze her hand as she sees the fear of hell creep into my eyes, yet, ¡°Boo, is it going to be fine, I promise.¡± Then after what seems to have taken the Doctor nearly ten minutes, he finally shows his face again. Why the fuck did she not pick a female Doctor? I do not sit quitefortably with a man touching my wife, well, I know not quite yet, but in my book, she is. So barely able to contain my horror, I take a seat next to this very wife and grab her hand as tight as I can. The Doctor only smiles at me, which I am finding rather inappropriate, so he only but whispers to me softly, ¡°Son, your wife is not giving birth yet. I am sure you can let go of her hand. Now let us check what the problem is.¡± Well, I am trying my best to be polite with this Doctor, and I am firmlying to the decision to rece him after this visit. I watch as her puffy little face turnspletely red as she stares at the Doctor. He only but squeeze the very hand that he says I should not be squeezing; this man is now really starting to piss me off. Ya, that is me, ¡°Can we get this over with. I would like to know what is wrong with the baby?¡± And I should not have said that, for Ana has once again started crying. But then, as if her tears are not a horror to me, this man, this Doctor, he is trying to open the gown so he can touch her. ¡°I am sorry, but that ain¡¯t happening. If you touch my wife, then I will fucking kill you.¡± ¡°Mr. Hunter,¡± the Doctor, with still somewhat of amusement, says, ¡°How else am I going to examine your wife?¡± ¡°Through her clothes, like normal Doctors do.¡± Then he picks up that goddamn awful probe thing that I did not wish toment about and sways it in front of my face. ¡°And how am I going to use this then?¡± Well, there is apletely new horror that creeps over my body as I see this¡­thing.Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°If you stick that thing inside of her, then I am fucking ripping you apart. Now exam her like a normal doctor should.¡± I see as the Doctor¡¯s eyes grow wild with anger, and I know that I have just done something wrong? ¡°Mr. Hunter, I need to see your wife¡¯s naked belly to run this thing over it. Now, why would I even want to consider doing anything else with this for what it is truly intended?¡± Without saying a word, I watch as he squirts some gel onto the center of her belly, then in slow circles, he starts to run that probe over and over. Then finally, on the little screen, there pops up a very blurry picture. And as he goes on and on, I drop my head and squeeze the bridge of my nose so tight that I can almost snap it in half. Then there is a gentle touch of a hand on my shoulder. ¡°Mr. Hunter¡­¡± But just then, my phone lights up¡­ Chapter 133 One Wrong Move ¡­Matty POV¡­ It seems that I am finding myself part of what will be Ray¡¯s squad. Now I know that Ethan has the utmost respect for him, so I know that I am in safe hands. My mom nearly killed me when I told her about my intentions to join the Marines. Now she is truly not happy about my choice, but as with Ethan, she supports me. As for my father, well, the man is just happy that I don¡¯t sit around and faff around on aptop the whole day anymore. I am not quite sure if he is happy about my choice, though, for I think he still has his mind set on one of his boys to be a damn Doctor. But needless to say, my mom was beyond devastated as herst son left home. But as for my father, he cannot be more happier, though he does believe that I am going to fail. But failure is not an option for me; I will show him that I can make something of my life as well. So it took me nearly a whole week to get the guts to enlist and then break the news to my mother. And from there, well, it has been the best decision I have made in my life. To say that I am not beyond fucking excited about doing this would be a lie. I have never felt more purpose in my life than this. Yes, it took myself a lot of convincing, in which the old man had no part. But here, I find myself doing something that I know is going to matter. And let us not forget that this will show Ethan how much I look up to him as a big brother. If it was not for his determination and his will to seed, I do not think that I would have found that purpose in myself. What I would have liked is that we could have served in the same toon. Guess the man has something else to prove. At least we are doing this together in some sort of way. But yes, as I said, I am so fucking excited. I cannot wait to be deployed, but that will still be in a while; at least I am here, and I am doing it; that is all that matters. Being between so many other men that feel the same determination does give you that pride in your heart. I know now why this means so much to Ethan; I understand what it means to be a Marine. I am counting the days when I am finally in those blues. Now today, Ray wants us, before he puts a gun in any of our hands, for us to be able to fight off the enemy with only but our hands. So, my dear opponent is a man that I have grown not to like at all. He is an arrogant asshole that thinks his shit smells like roses; well, I am about to show him how to give a damn good beating. So I rip off my shirt and toss it over to the side. Perhaps, Ray did not mean for us to go half-naked, but hey, what is a fight if you do not fight it like a real man. Zack, my arrogant opponent, does the very same. At least there is one thing that I can admire about him; he almost has a six-pack like mine¡­let me rephrase¡­almost. Taking my stance, I look at him with only but a smirk on my face. Something tells me that this man is going to y dirty. But yet, ¡°Are you ready to get your ass kicked?¡± So I watch as he stands in the center of the circle, with hands by his side; I hear as he has the most hideousughtering from his mouth. ¡°I think the only one whose ass is getting kicked is yours, Hunter.¡± Then¡­ He is the first to make a move. He rapidly approaches me. His eyes seem wild with fire; there is a fury and determination. He is going to ram me, and god, he is going to ram hard. So I ground my feet and wait for the impact. As he reaches to grab me, I hold him by his arms and try to wrestle him to the ground. But¡­ He frees from my grip and smashes his palms into my chest. I fly backward into the wall that Ray¡¯s body provides.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. He bursts out inughter, ¡°See, you are already on your ass.¡± I jump onto my feet and move towards him; I fly through the air and crush my fists into his chest. He moans and stumbles back. Then¡­ He charges like a bull straight towards me; I slide to the side and push him back into the wall. I hear something crack as I drive his body deeper into it. But¡­ He kicks as he squirms his way away from me. Then¡­ I pull him back as my hand tangles in his hair. Though¡­ He spins loose and smashes square into my body, driving me back to the center again. Then he crashes me into a table, cracking it right through. I watch as he slowlyes walking over; I am not on my feet yet; the crash has knocked my breath away. Then hees and stands over my body, ¡°I see you are on your ass again.¡± I find myself being dragged from the floor. But I get loose from his grip and spin back onto my feet. With my feet grounded, I stare at him with eyes that are now starting to fill with anger, ¡°You might as well give up because I am going to drop your ass.¡± By now, I would think that this man shall stop and realize his foolish mistake, but I am somewhat sadly mistaken. He only but advances for me again; this time, though, he is moving rather slow, ominous, he is taunting me. As hees charging at me, I only butugh at him, ¡°You are making a fateful mistake.¡± ¡°The only one making a mistake is you.¡± With his words not yet from his lips, he shifts his feet at an incredible pace towards mine and reached his fist for my face. With one snap of his arm, he smashes it into my cheek. He retracts his arm tounch at me once again, but I grab it in midair. Itwist it behind his back; I step closer. ¡°You are going to regret that.¡± My grip goes firmer, and I push him off from his feet; he slides across the length of the circle. I make my way to where he finds himself and yank him up by the shoulder and toss his body to the other side of the circle. He rises to his feet and reaches me in less than an inch of the second; as he looks to the side for a brief second, he fools me to do as well. Then he ms his hands around my shoulders and tosses me. As I rise to my feet again, I m a fist into his stomach. I am driving him with utmost force. Then I retract my arm andunch it back andnd it square in his face. I hear a crack as my knuckles make the impact, then there is pitter-patter as bloodes streaming from his nose, then he drops to the floor. But the man is a fool; he rises to his feet again. I push forward and scrum my entire body into his. He drops to the floor, and I immediately get on top of him, pinning his arms to the floor. Then¡­ He manages to free himself loose; he grabs me by my throat and starts squeezing firm. Then¡­ I w into his shoulders; he cries out in pain and slips from my grip. But¡­ Hees for me again. He is starting to y dirty, yet Ray allows us to continue. Then he drops my body to the floor¡­ I fall to my knees. Iunch to my feet; he ms my body into that stack of chairs¡­ They crack¡­ Then¡­ A loud cry¡­ My body goes limp¡­ Then it goes dark¡­ Chapter 134 One Wrong Turn ¡­Mary POV¡­ I have just lost both of my boys to the Marines. Now I know it is not something that I should feel sad about because the boys are doing something important. But most of all, they are doing something that they want. Yes, we all know that their father wanted them to be Doctors. Well, I am happy that they did not. What they do now also matters; they are making that difference. To say that I was not shocked to hear about Matty wanting to join the Marines will be a tant lie. At first, I thought that the boy was joking, but when he started packing his bag, I knew that he was serious. Now again, it was the worst day of my life watching one of my boys leave. At least, I know that they wille home. Well, that is for Ethan; the boy just cannot keep himself out of trouble. But apparently, which he has not told me yet, for I heard it from Ana, the man wants to go back and be something called a Raider. I can only think that it is something more dangerous. He has never been one to sit down and just do nothing. I do not see him staying long after the baby has been born; he will be going back. It is in his blood; it is what he does. Ana will just have to understand that. As for Matty, he is ady¡¯s man; the chances that he will settle down is about the same as John taking me on a honeymoon again. But where John has brought me is out for dinner in the city. I think he feels a bit lost and bored without Matty around. He has changed; he is not the same man that used to joke around anymore. He does not even get upset with Maggie. It is as if I am losing him. Guess the dinner is some time for us to try ande close to each other again. So we have just left the restaurant and are making the long road home. It is a cold rainy night; it has been an evening full ofughter and smiles, just John and me like we were before we had the boys. It is rtivelyte, and John feels confident making the long way home in this terrible weather. Now driving in the rain is not something that makes me feel at ease. I asked him to wait until it has at least stopped pouring down this hard. You can barely see the road surface as the raindrops pound hard on the tarmac. John is going at a fairly decent speed, taking his time and safely navigating his way through the pouring rain. We are still very joyful and are making ns to go visit the boys in Pendleton next month. With about half an hour into our trip, the car catches a big puddle on the road; the tires slip sharply to the right and then rapidly start to spin out of control. It feels almost like a minute from where the car flips into the air and tumbles several meters over the wet roads. I feel my body jerk from one side to the other; underneath the thunder, I can hear John as he screams for me to hang on. Then as the car finally stops spinning, everything goes quiet. I watch in horror as Johny all battered and bruised. I cannot see how wounded he is; I am trapped between the front seat and the dashboard. John, who failed to wear his seatbelt, has gone straight into the windscreen, he is slumped over, and I am not sure if he is alive or not. Then the thoughtes to my mind, is John dead? I soon put the thoughts to the back of my mind and frantically try to reach for my cellphone that is on the side of the door. As I finally get hold of it, I phone for an ambnce, but it is far from the city and not even close to our town, we are going to wait at least half an hour for an ambnce. It is half an hour that John does not have. After what seems more like a frustrating hour, they finally arrive and give me the news that John is still alive. But he is severely injured, and that the medics cannot tell me how severe it indeed was. All I know is that he is unconscious, and if we do not get him back to the hospital soon, he might never wake up.N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. So after having a struggle to get me out of the front seat of the car, we are finally in the back of the ambnce. John is ahead of me in another; they are racing and rushing with the best they got to get him there as soon as possible. I cannot help but think to myself; maybe I should have driven; John did say he was tired. Perhaps if we did not drive in the rain, this would never have happened. But he was not driving fast; he did not see that puddle in the road. What if we left the restaurant sooner? What if we just stayed home? Then this would never have happened. In moments of pure horror, there are so many ¡®what ifs.¡¯ One never knows if the decision you make is the right one. As we get to the hospital, John and I are immediately taken to the Emergency Room to assess our injuries. I don¡¯t think I have felt the impact of the damage that has been done to my body. All I am thinking of is my husband. After running us through tests and scans and finally splitting us uppletely, I am left in a room to stare at nothing but a white ceiling. Now, if I think that we will be receiving good news, if I thought that I would be so lucky, I was sorely mistaken. I have more broken bones inside me than I would have guessed, and there is some internal bleeding, which they have advised me that they should operate to stop. As for John, they have not told me a single thing. All I know is that they have sent him for another scan and that he is still unconscious. So here I am, lying and waiting, with not nearly as much damage to my body as John has. I am still fully conscious but in incredible pain. What was a joyful night has now turned into horror? I don¡¯t know what I will do if something has to happen to John. And as I watch each second tick by, I am finally taken into theatre. They have still not told me a thing about John. I keep on asking, and they keep on telling me that the Doctor wille to see me when he is ready. It feels like while my own body seems to want to fail, that John might be losing his very own battle. There is some sort of reality that settles over my body; what if we don¡¯t survive this? What if I go under and I never wake up. So as they pull me into theatre, and I listen to these ungodly machines that are beeping next to me, I think of my two boys, and I wish that I had spoken to them this morning. I wish that John was there to tell them he loves them. Right now, our future is uncertain. Watching the tubes in my body, remembering the tubes that were in John. The needles in our hands, the very hands that should be holding each other. I slowly listen to this machine that is keeping my heart beating, and I know that somewhere here, there is one that is doing the same for John. We should be home in our bed, not here, fighting. And with that, I see the Doctoring into the theatre, it is the very Doctor that is looking after John, but before I can ask him a single word, everything goes dark¡­ Chapter 135 One Foot Out The Grave Fate is what takes you down that road you ever so often avoid taking. Sometimes the slightest things change the directions of our lives, the merest breath of a circumstance, a random moment that connects like a meteorite striking the earth. Lives have swiveled and changed direction on the strength of a chance remark. Sometimes the smallest turn in the wrong direction ends up being the biggest turn of your life. Sometimes you imagine that everything could have been different for you, that if only you had gone right one day when you chose to go left, you would be living a life you could never have anticipated. But at other times, you think there was no other way forward, that you were always bound to end up exactly where you have. I am a man who ns every step that he takes. I would like to see where I am going and how I am going to get there. Some say live life on a daily basis; I say there is no room for surprises and unexpected things. Buttely, all my bestid ns have begun to falter. My life has be full of unpredictability; around every corner, there are new twists and turns. The truth is that life really doesn¡¯t give a shit about your ns. I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune maye our way, we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value. Yet, life and fate are never fair. Ask fate the question ¡°Why me?¡± Fate barely bothers to return the reply, ¡°Why not?¡± Now three things have happened to me today, and every part of me does, so I want to ask that question. Though that is not my only problem, I need to decide, and this is where fate came and kicked me right under the fucking ass. How do you decide by whom you should be? Well, of course, that decision should be easy¡­my wife. But, I have a brother, a father, and a mother that needs me too. How do you begin to decide which direction you should go in at these fateful crossroads where if have found yourself standing? Yes, life is a bitch, and fate is karma¡¯s wicked way to y a cruel joke on you. So as I am standing outside the hospital, Ana has now silently drifted off into sleep, my heart breaks. I am torn into pieces and scattered, slowly being stepped on and crushed into the ground. Now Matty, and I am not even sure, but Ray called and said that he got injured during a training exercise. The only thing I could ask the man is, is he going to survive? Upon his answer, I have decided to remain by Ana¡¯s side. But then, as if it was some prank that someone was ying, I get yet another call from some person that I do not know. After getting firmly irritated with this man, he finally introduced him as a Doctor that is just outside the city. Then, of course, my entire world collided, for I immediately knew that something must have happened to my mom or my dad. Well, guess my horror as I had to listen to him telling me that both of my parents got injured in an ident. Now my immediate reaction was, ¡°Are they alive?¡± Much to my relief, the Doctor confirmed that they are, but unlike my mom, my dad¡¯s injuries were quite severe. Then yet again, I came to face with the decision¡­ Do I go to my parents or do I stay with Ana? I guess you have your answer as I am on my way back to Ana. She has not yet found out about my mom and dad, but Matty she knows of. The Doctor said to keep her calm, so I am here alone, slowly dying inside. So as I take the elevator back to the first floor where they have Ana, it feels like it is the longest ride that I have ever taken in my life. The second ticks by as the fear and horror of what is happening to you crawl up your skin. It is as if I am making the short distance in what seems like hours. The tension starts to build up in my heart; it feels as if the spears of a million daggers are stabbing me. The air in my chest is beginning to thin out. I am falling into a dark hole; I am losing myself into an abyss of hell.N?velDrama.Org owns ? this. So as I finally step through the door, I cannot help to feel the tears of worry starting to overwhelm my body. The thoughts that something terrible will happen to Ana creep over me again, and I feel even too crippled to walk a step forward. Then as I finallye to her side, I am once again shocked to my core. The peace I felt when I left her room only but ten minutes ago has just left my body. What I am staring in the face, it is an image that I shall never be able to get out of my head ever again. Why her? Why now? Can fate tell me why its path hase crossed in our way? Why does ite and put you in this situation? I feel that it is my fault; it is because of me that she is here. Why do I hurt the people I care about the most so deeply? I cannot begin to think if I have to say goodbye to any one of them. I take her hand slowly; I lift her hand gently of the bed andy my lips in a soft kiss against them. ¡°I am sorry, boo. Now here I stand, and I am looking down on a woman I know I love, and I know that she feels the same for me. And she knows that beyond anything that I will do everything for her. I will sacrifice myself; I will sacrifice my family. But thinking about my mom and dad. I feel so bad; I just don¡¯t know what to do. How do I deal with not being able to be there with them? Will I ever forgive myself if something has to happen to them? I might not have been driving the car, but I feel that I am the one that lost control. Have I lost control of my life? I had it nned; it was all going to work out. But destiny, fate, and karma were ying together to give me a different oue. My path seems to have been set; Ana has been dealt with her hand, Matty has received his fair share, but who has been given the most is my mom, but ultimately my dad. So as I listen to this ungodly machine that is beeping next to me, I know that wherever my family finds themselves, as long as that machine is making that noise, I know that they are still alive. But it is my heart that is slowly dying over and over again. I cannot bear seeing the oxygen mask over Ana¡¯s face; not even the needle in her arm is giving me any peace at the moment. I can only imagine how much worse it must be for my mom and especially my dad, but as for Matty, I am not sure; I have no idea how bad the man has gotten hurt. It will only take me half an hour, and I can be next to his bedside. But I shall remain here; this is where from everyone that is hurt, this is exactly where I should be. Family has this wonderful ability to be understanding no matter the consequences. No matter the choice you need to make, your family will always be there to have your back. And even though we all are apart, we know that with the deepest of our hearts that we love each other. So yes, fate. Here I sit. I was about a third way down this wonderful path, well, so to speak, then you can along. You made everything fall apart with heartache, pain, andplete unpredictability. You have made sure that there was distance. You made certain things happen. I understand that I had no choice in the matter, but I do believe in you, fate. Well, not always, for we do make our own destiny, but it seems that you take those monumental moments and push us in the direction that you haveid out for us. There is no other way out from where you have taken us. It has taken me a handful of angry words to ept the things that you have down. You have created mistakes and regrets. So here I sit. Thinking about my family that you have ripped apart. Yes, you have filled me with sadness. But I know that you do not give a damn. But know this, that tomorrow is another day, and tomorrow is in my hands again. I will choose what happens next. And while you are having your fun, I am brought to the reality that my family, wherever they find themselves to be, they are at this very moment gently knocking at heaven¡¯s door. Chapter 136 A Blank Sheet Of Pain What¡¯s the Future? It¡¯s a nk sheet of paper, and we draw lines on it, but sometimes our hand is held, and the lines we draw aren¡¯t the lines we wanted. That is life, isn¡¯t it? Fate. Luck. Chance. A long series of what-if¡¯s that lead from one moment to the next, time never pausing for you to catch your breath, to make sense of the cards that have been handed to you. And all you can do is y your cards and hope for the best because, in the end, it alles back to those three basics. Fate. Luck. Chance. But life is also a collection of moments, some good and some bad; they ultimately form the puzzle of your life. There is someone who has stood in the same dark ce, that the very same puzzle as you. It¡¯s okay not to be okay sometimes. Sometimes, it¡¯s normal, healthy, and necessary to feel defeated, so you know what it¡¯s like torise up another time. This, too, shall pass. This situation isn¡¯t your final destination. Where there¡¯s pain, there¡¯s also love. Where there¡¯s sorrow, there¡¯s also hope.Where there¡¯s darkness, there¡¯s always light. And as I stand here and let the tears well up in my eyes, I remind myself that it is okay to cry. It is okay to let the tears carry your emotions out of your system. Let darkness blot them out. Yes, I am standing here with a heart that is broken, yet it does not mean that I am broken. The crack is there to let the light in to take away the darkness. Now, after much protest from Ana, I found my way taking the long road home to the hospital where my mom and dad are currently being treated. It broke that heart to a million pieces to leave the woman behind that I love more than my own life itself. Choices always seem to lead to a hard decision, I have yet to find out what has happened to Matty, but the Doctor has assured me, well after a good amount of threatening, that Ana will be okay. I firmly warned him that should anything happen while I am away, then it shall be his head on a te, and I am not fucking joking. This has turned out to be the worst two days of my life. If it were not for Gibbs here driving, I would have gone off my mind a long time ago. That is what makes me love this man so much; he will sacrifice anything in an instant. I am truly starting to think that I am a man that draws a string of bad luck. But putting that aside, we have just arrived at the hospital now. I only but smile at Gibbs as I nod, ¡°You are going to have to help this ass out of the car.¡±N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. He only but bursts out inughter, ¡°You are just being damnzy. Try to do it yourself.¡± Well, much to my own amusement, which is truly not the right attitude to have at present, I have one leg out of the car, gripping at the roof, I finally swing my ass out, and in no time at all, I am on both feet. Gibbs only but smirk, ¡°Told you that you could. Now, do you know where we are going?¡± ¡°No, I have not spoken to the Doctor again; he was busy thest time I called.¡± So with absolute haste, we make our way towards the reception, where a fairly mean-looking woman guides us in the direction we should be going. Then as we reach the next reception in the ICU section, we are asked to wait for the Doctor. Standing in this dreadful waiting room is torture beyondpare. Every moment that the clock ticks away is one more second that my mom and dad are torn away. My heart feels like it is ripped right open as the thoughts of this whole horrible situation keep slicing every bit of me open. These four walls have be unbearable to stand between. And as I pace the floor from one direction to the other, my mind does not stop running in circles. It is a mind that cannot bear not knowing what is going on. It is near damn insufferable with only but questions looming over your head. Every wink I take, I am reminded that there is nothing I can do. I must stand here in silent agony and wait. It is killing me slowly. What am I going to do? I know that I am supposed to be strong, but I am so tired of having to be strong. It seems that my life is riddled with tormented pain. I really do not know how much more of this I can take. Losing any of my family is not an option. Everything in me wants to crumble, but then I think, I am a Marine; we do not falter. We remain strong above everything that is thrown in our path. But as soon as I close my eyes, in an instant, the tearse flooding down my cheeks. Just as I am about to crash to the floor, Gibbs is there to catch me, ¡°Ethan,e sit down.¡± ¡°No,¡± I protest. ¡°Where is this fucking Doctor.¡± ¡°Can I get you coffee while we wait?¡± Knowing that he is only trying to be helpful, I take a seat and nod towards him, ¡°Thank you, that will be great.¡± As Gibbs leaves, the Doctor walks into the room. He seems to look rather concerned, and I know that I am not about to like what he is going to tell me. With only but a half-smile, he reaches his hand to greet me, ¡°Dr. Stephens.¡± Not giving much thought to his novelties, I immediately interrupt him, ¡°How are my parents?¡± I watch as he hesitates for but a moment, then as he starts to speak, it feels as if I am in apletely different world. I watch his lips moving, but I do not register a single word that he is saying. ¡°Your mother lost a lot of blood; she had internal bleeding, but we manage to stop it with a sessful surgery.¡± ¡°Is she okay?¡± ¡°Apart from a severe wound in her abdomen, a broken arm, and several broken ribs, she is well on her way to recovery. You will be able to see her in a moment.¡± Then I watch as he goes silent; I know he is waiting for me to ask the question. By the expression on his face, I see that there is a lot that he wishes he does not want to tell me. Do I dread what is about toe? I wish that none of my parents found themselves in this situation. I will merely die if he has to give me the worst news about my dad. ¡°How is my father?¡± ¡°He sustained a severe head injury.¡± I stop him before he can say another single word, ¡°What do you mean by severe? How severe?¡± Just then, Gibbs enters the room with what a wish was rather a ss of whiskey; as he hands me the coffee, I nearly down half of it in an instant, then I turn to the Doctor once again, ¡°How severe are you talking about?¡± ¡°Son, I am afraid that your father is in aa.¡± I drop the coffee cup to the floor, and the contents crash all over my feet. There is an incredible sting that shoots to every corner of my body. My legs start to give in underneath me, but Gibbs is there to catch me. I grab onto my chest; the air has grown thick, it feels as if I cannot breathe. The room has grown so small, and all I can hear is my screams that travel down the corridors. As Gibbs helps me to sit down, I turn to the Doctor once again, ¡°How long? How long is he going to be in thisa?¡± ¡°Son, I can not tell you that. It might be a day or even a couple of months.¡± There is a fit of deep anger that starts boiling from deep in my core, and I immediately snap, ¡°what do you fucking know? What can you tell me?¡± ¡°Sorry, there is nothing more I can tell you. But he is stable.¡± My world crashes down like a meteorite that hits the surface with full force splitting my heart open. I did not think that when I came here, the news would have been this bad, perhaps, even maybe there was a part, for a short while that thought that my father would not have made it. But I had faith that both of them would be all right. Afterposing myself, I look at the Doctor with what can only be described as a stare of death, ¡°I want to see him.¡± ¡°Son, I can allow visitors just yet.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t give a fuck what you can allow. I want to see my father.¡± Then I turn to Gibbs, ¡°Will you go check if the olddy is okay?¡± He only but squeezes my shoulder and heads off in the direction the Doctor points him. Then the Doctor leads me to the room where my dad is in. It is intimidation and foreboding. There is only one light above his head, with his bed being right in the center. He is hooked up to all these machines that make that same godawful beep. There are tubesing from his mouth, but apart from all of this, with his eyes closed, he seems to be so peaceful. As the Doctor turns around to leave the room, I pull a chair closer and sit by his side, ¡°Fuck, old man. You better fight this.¡± Iy my head against his chest; his heart is still beating strong, but is it the machine that is helping? Yet again, I realize that as long as that machine is beeping that his heart is still alive and that he is going nowhere. And nowhere is where I am going until this old man opens his eyes; they will have to throw me out of the building to get me to leave his side. Then I take my phone out of my pocket and send a quick message, ¡°Boo, it does not look good.¡± Chapter 137 Running Out Of Seconds There are days when you think you don¡¯t believe anymore. When you think you have grown too old for miracles. When you have lost hope, and you have lost everything. You think all is lost, and all is dire and bleak. The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves until one day there are none. No hopes. Nothing remains. No. You do not need to know precisely what is happening or exactly where it is all going. You need to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment and embrace them with courage, faith, and hope. I havee to ept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. You may not know where you¡¯re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you. Miracles are just second chances if you really think about it, second chances when all hope is lost. It has been a day, and there is absolutely no improvement with my dad. Funny enough, I have been talking to him, hoping that by some bizarre reason that he will talk back. I guess in my own way, I think that it will bring him back, so I have given up but a few hours ago, for it seems that it will not be working. With each ticking second, my heart grows even more fearful; I fear that maybe all is seconds are up. I know that I should have faith, but how can you have faith if the person that you have faith in is the very person that is not here. Do I believe in miracles? I believe that a miracle is just pure coincidence that something hase together at a time you need it the most. I have briefly gone to see my mom a few hours ago, but she was fast asleep, so I deep not stir her. I am sure that she must feel just as hopeless as me, but apart from my dad, she looks like she is doing pretty well. It is terrifying, though, to see the state of her body; there was for one moment that I thought that it was not my mom. But if you look past all cuts and bruises, it is the very woman that I love with all of my heart, and she is going through an incredible pain. It breaks me that I cannot be will all of them at the same time. And this reminds me, I have not spoken to Ana for over two hours now, so I slip my phone from my pocket and sent her a quick message, ¡°Boo, how are you doing?¡± It does not take even but ten seconds, and she sends me back; her spelling is a bit on the offside; I am sure that her hands are trembling, she must be in so much pain, ¡°You know me, soldier. I am a real fighter. How are your mom and dad?¡± ¡°My mom is looking better, but my dad has had no improvement.¡± There is a slight silence for about a minute, then she sends another message again, ¡°You know that your dad will fight like a bitch.¡± I cannot help but burst out in a fit of uncontrobleughter; then I gasp, realizing, but then I stop for I know that he cannot hear a single word I am saying. So I reply to Ana, ¡°Boo, I love you. I promise I will be back home as soon as I can.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t rush, soldier; I am not going anywhere.¡± With that, my eyes start to turn into puddles of water, and it only takes onest thought of leaving her alone like this, and my cheeks are covered with tears. And as I am trying my best to stop them from falling, I see Gibbs appear in the doorway, ¡°Hey, get some rest. You look like shit.¡± ¡°Thank you for your kind observation, but no, I am fine.¡± ¡°Stop being stubborn, Ethan; you have not had sleep for three days.¡± Then he pauses for a brief moment, ¡°I saw the nurses¡¯ showers; you can do with some cleaning up.¡± ¡°Are you telling me I am dirty, perhaps even smelly?¡± ¡°Hahaha, I am not letting you punch me for saying that, but just stretch your legs, go for a walk. Fuck, go grab us some coffee; I will stay with the old man.¡± Hoping that by the look on my face that he will drop the subject, I reluctantly give in, ¡°Fine, I will go get us some coffee.¡± I cannot ask for a better friend than this man, who will sit here by your side for endless hours when it is not even his parents? He carries my pain, and he carries my fear with me and not once does hein. If not for him being here, I would have fallen to pieces, yet I have so many times over, but he is here to help me pick them up. So as I find myself walking down this long white corridor, I cannot help but feel how horrible this situation is. Life can lift you up and fulfill all your wants and your desires, but it can also rip your heart from your chest and stomp on it. The doctor keeps on saying that my dad will get better. Then why is he constantly standing around his bed with a big frown on his face? I am starting to believe that he does not know anything that he is saying. He keeps on telling me that I should give it time; well, I am asking where is the time? Are we not running out of time the longer he is away? They tell me that if I speak to my dad, he will hear me. Well, I say that is bullshit. I have been talking and talking, and he has not had a single reaction. I do not see his body moving; all I hear is that godawful beep of that machine. The machine does not even start to beat faster every time I squeeze his hand. I honestly think that he has no idea that I am by his side. One thing I do know is that I am slowly dying. I cannot bear to see my dad like this. He is strong and is always giving you shit; now heys there as weak as ever. He is not even half of the man he is. We have feared for many years that it shall be the Marines that take someone away in our family, but now we are sitting here, and a fuckinga is wanting to rip the man that holds this family together away. After trying to stay away as enough to keep Gibbs satisfied, I return to the room with our coffee in hand. He only but smiles at me, ¡°You know that did not take far as long as it should have?¡± ¡°I was hoping that you would not realize.¡± I pause for a brief moment, ¡°Hey, we are Marines; there is no such thing as doing this slow.¡± He only but smirks as he whispers underneath his breath as to think that my dad will hear him, ¡°There is one thing I sure hope that you are not so quick with.¡± Theughteres rumbling from my chest, ¡°Have you heard Anain before?¡± ¡°Oh, no, but I can recall the whole camp hearing her scream.¡± ¡°Ya, what an embarrassing day. But hey, you can really go home. You do not have to stay here with me.¡± ¡°I am not going anywhere, but I do think I am going to go use that shower, and hopefully, there is a nurse in it.¡± ¡°God, you are terrible.¡± With that, he rises from the chair, and I sit down again. Now perhaps there was a part of me that hope that there would have been a change in the ten minutes that I have been gone. But just as I am about to getpletelyfortable again, I see the Doctor walk in. Trying topose myself, I rise to greet him, ¡°Hi, Doctor.¡± ¡°Ethan. How are you holding up?¡± ¡°Well, as long as he is not awake, then I am not holding anything up.¡± ¡°Yes, well, I can say with certainty that your mother is doing very well. I still have her sedated for the pain.¡± Then he turns to face my dad, with that goddamn frown on his face again. ¡°Your dad,¡± he pauses for a second, ¡°There has been no change. The swelling on his brain is noting down as fast as I was hoping. I am afraid¡­¡± I immediately interrupt him, ¡°All we can do is wait?¡± ¡°Sorry, son, I don¡¯t have any good news for you. But I will run some tests in the morning again; in the meantime, I will adjust his medication.¡± Not being the most reassuring man in the world, he turns around and leaves the room. A sea of emotions floods my being, and I am overtaken by a pain that is far greater than myself. My dad simply has to pull out from this.Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. So as the tears start to feel heavy, they trickle the corner of my eyes. The unbelievable urge to break down and sob consumes my body again. I want to fall apart. I want to crumble to my knees and feel every single ounce of pain that my dad is feeling. Then as I raise my head to take a sip from my coffee, I am shocked to my core by the sight in front of me. ¡°What the fuck?¡± Chapter 138 Stepping Into The Darkness When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or you will be taught to fly. Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Sometimes beautiful thingse into our lives out of nowhere. We can¡¯t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays just to have a little faith. There is a general air of surprise, and genuine satisfaction as my eyes fall on the man that is standing in the doorway. Without giving much care to rise to my feet safely, I walk around the bed to greet him. ¡°How the fuck?¡± ¡°I came about an hour ago, was with the olddy.¡± Still not quite sure if my mind is ying tricks on me, I squeeze my eyes close, and as I slowly flutter them, one by one open, as true as the sun is shining through those clouds outside, he is here in front of me. With only but one p on a shoulder that seems to have been strapped up, he but utters out in pain, ¡°That fucking hurts, you idiot.¡± I only but shake my head at him, ¡°The way that Ray carried on, I thought that you were fucking dead.¡± ¡°Hey, bro, it is only a broken arm.¡± As I burst out in a fit of uncontrobleughter, I can only but smile at him, ¡°You are not even in the Marines for a week, and you are already getting hurt.¡± ¡°Someone needs to live up to your reputation. Though, thank fuck, I don¡¯t have a broken leg.¡± ¡°You know these two are going to kills us, especially mom. How is she doing?¡± ¡°That very clever Doctor still has her sedated.¡± ¡°Ya, he is a real star; wait until hees in here.¡± With that, we both go silent and stare at our dad, who is lying in front of us, fighting for his life the best he can. The sun is dawning on another day. There is still no improvement; it feels as if I am walking with eyes closed into the darkness; I don¡¯t see the lighting through. Without the light, there is no future; I am trying to hang on to that faith and hope that I know lies deep inside of me. They say that therees a time that you need to make peace with what the oue of a situation could be. I am bordering on that line where I am stepping over from hope to peace. Is that wrong of me to feel that there might not be hope left? It bes dangerous when you give up on hope and faith; you are not only letting go of the situation but also of yourself. You stop waiting, then you stop caring, then eventually you stop living too. I cannot see how it can be possible for someone to be gone for so long? Can he not find his way back home? Is it not be that hope and faith that should be the light to bring him back? Just as I am about to drop my head in despair, the Doctor enters the room. I know that I have not made things easy for him, yet I am sure that he, too, feels just as frustrated as I do. With that concerned look in his eyes, he walks up to Matty and me. ¡°Hi, Doctor. This is my brother Matt.¡± He only but gives the nod before he starts to speak, ¡°I am sending your father for tests in the morning. And I have juste from your mother; she is awake now.¡± There is a brief moment of excitement that sets in my heart as I hear that my mom is okay, but then it turns to worry as I look at my dad. Not trying to rm Matty, I try to speak as softly as I can to the Doctor, ¡°Why are you doing more tests?¡± ¡°I am concerned that if the swelling does note down that it will damage his brain function.¡± I only but shake my head in disbelief, but it is Matty that speaks, ¡°What the fuck are you talking about?¡± ¡°Son, the swelling on your father¡¯s brain is noting down. The pressure is preventing blood from flowing from to the brain, which deprives it of oxygen. The swelling can lead to damage or death of brain cells.¡± Looking at him in horror, I am barely able to find the words, ¡°Well, thank you for spelling it out like that. Now, what do you intend to do about this?¡± There is only irritation that grows in the Doctor¡¯s eyes, ¡°I will be able to tell you in the morning what the way forward is; as for now, we will continue as is.¡± ¡°So,¡± I interrupt him before he can even say another word. ¡°All we do is wait?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°How long? How long more do we have to wait?¡± ¡°Son, I can¡¯t tell you?¡± In an instant, my temper res, and the fear of uncertainty consumes me again. ¡°What do you know?¡± ¡°Mr. Hunter, I am fighting as hard as I can for your father, but it does not help me fighting if he is not willing to fight with me. Now, right now, he is just hanging on. It is frustrating and heartbreaking. I don¡¯t know what more I can do for him but wait.¡± I feel as the truth of his words stings me; there are drops of tears that start to push to the surface. Just a trickle. And as he leaves, that fear that I have just multiplies, but I cannot break down, not anymore, not when Matty is here. So I take my arm and wrap it gently around his shoulder, ¡°Hey, the old man is going to be okay.¡± Matty only butughs, ¡°He has to be; he needs to give me shit about my arm.¡± As we drift off in silence again, I cannot help but think; I don¡¯t want to be here, not that I do not want to see my dad, but I need thefort of Ana¡¯s arms. Only she knows how to take my pain away; in her warm embrace, it is as if the entire world falls away and everything is at peace. But, this is right where I need to be, not only because he is my dad, but no matter how hard he has always been on Matty and me, he has been like a best friend. He is a man that I look up to; even though he never shared my dreams, he did push me to live them. I wish I had appreciated the moments more than I had with him; the things we take for granted are often the things we miss the most. The early morning bickering between him and Matty, now that is one thing that I will truly miss. And just before I am about to burst into a mess of tears, Matty turns to me, ¡°I am going to go to the olddy.¡± I gently squeeze his hand, ¡°Tell her I say hi and that I love her. I wille through in a little bit.¡± ¡°Hey, bro, don¡¯t rush; the old man needs us more right now.¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. With that, Matty leaves the room, leaving me frustrated and in tears; as I take hold of my dad¡¯s hand, I press his palm real damn hard, ¡°I love you, dad. You have to fight this. Do you hear me? You have to fucking fight this.¡± Can he even hear me where he is? I think we have established that he cannot, but I would still like to believe what they say. I would even like to believe that he knows that it is me that is squeezing the shit out of his hand. I don¡¯t know how much longer I canst. I am heartsick, broken, and right now, I just want toy waste to everything that crosses my path. It is tearing me in half; I need for him toe back. Even now, when we are so close, it feels like we are far away. Dad, I hope that you are okay out there. Are you? Are you alone? Wherever you are, wherever you n to go, you need to know that we are here; we all are here waiting for you. But just as I am about to rise from my chair to go get some fresh air, I see my phone light up. It does not even ring for two seconds, ¡°Hey boo. Are you okay?¡± ¡°Soldier, I¡­¡± Then the fucking phone goes dead. Withplete haste, I swipe up for Ana¡¯s number, but as I dial it, there is silence. And as I try again, there is still silence and still silence after that as I continue to phone her. In near frustration, I fling the phone past Gibbs¡¯s head that has now appeared in the doorway. ¡°Whoa,¡± he catches it in midair. ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°It is Ana.¡± Chapter 139 The Measure Of Time In life, there is only the present moment, the now. You can¡¯t measure time the way you measure the distance between two points. ¡®Time¡¯ doesn¡¯t pass. We have enormous difficulty in focusing on the present; we¡¯re always thinking about what we did, about how we could have done it better, about the consequences of our actions, and about why we didn¡¯t act as we should have. Or else we think about the future, about what we¡¯re going to do tomorrow, what precautions we should take, what dangers await us around the next corner, how to avoid what we don¡¯t want and how to get what we have always dreamed of. It¡¯s being here now that¡¯s important. There¡¯s no past, and there¡¯s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can¡¯t relive it, and we can hope for the future, but we don¡¯t know if there is one. The biggest mistake we make is the one that most of us make; we do not live in the moment enough. There is not any improvement with my dad; I think the Doctor is getting even more frustrated than I am. I still firmly believe that the man has no idea what he is doing, but I guess that is just me being unreasonable. But no matter who is what, the concern is that he is not making any progress. Though do I need to takefort that it is only three days, am I not asking for a miracle in a way? I think that we have established that those don¡¯t exist, that they are just the mind hoping for something beyond what is extraordinary. Yet, that is part of what should be the hope and faith that one needs to have, and there again, I have shown that I, too,ck this. What else I have beencking is being by my mom¡¯s side; I have been so consumed with fighting the battle for my dad that I have not moved from his side. And that is one other thing that I have noticed; I am not the one that should be fighting; I need to encourage him. Well, I am sure if he can indeed hear me, he must have heard me curse about a hundred times by now. So leaving Matty with my dad, I make my way to Room Number 205, my mom has now been moved out of ICU, and she is stable now. That is by far the best news that we have heard since this whole dreadful ident has happened. This has affected so many lives, even Gibbs that is still here moving between the rooms of my mom and dad, and when he is not keeping an eye, he tries his utmost best to flirt with the nurses. Now walking in my mom¡¯s room, you would think that awful hospital smell, that smell of pain and death, would not be so prominent, but guess the damn scent is etched into these walls. But I soon push the thought back to my mind as my mom sees me walking in with my crutches. She only but shakes her head, ¡°You Hunter boys are really all an ident waiting to happen.¡± With a soft chuckle, I lean in closer and give her a hug, ¡°Hey, look at you, I think you have more broken bones than I have ever had in my body.¡± ¡°Yes, and I don¡¯t even need to be a Marine. Tell, me how is your dad?¡± I hesitate for a few brief moments, for I so wish that I had better news for her; she sees my reluctance, and the tears start building in her eyes, ¡°Is he still the same?¡± ¡°Yes, mom. Has that useless Doctor not told you anything?¡± ¡°I guess the man does not want to upset me, but at least he has you, boys.¡± Gently taking her hand in mine, I smile, ¡°How long do you have to stay still?¡± ¡°He said another week. Let us just hope your dad is fine to leave as well.¡± God, I wish I can say yes, but the thing is that it really does not look well; the swelling hase down but only an inch of a fraction. But hey, at least it is something, yet it is not near enough. What else is not enough is the strength that I have left to carry all of this on my shoulders. Not only is my family torn apart, but I have been for far too long away from Ana now. She, too, needs me now. So I push my thought away to clear my mind, then my mom gets the biggest smile on her face. I only but frown at her, ¡°What are you smiling about because I can sure do with some of it.¡± ¡°Oh, I was just wondering how Ana was doing?¡± ¡°She is not going to do well because I have not phoned her for a few hours now.¡± My mom only butughs, ¡°She is going to p you against the head.¡± ¡°Thank god she is not here to do it.¡± Ya, then there, withplete shock and surprise,es the t of a hand crashing against my head, I immediately spin around, ready to give Matty a punch in the face, but as I am about to retract my hand, I immediately drop it. ¡°Boo, what are you doing here?¡± ¡°I could not stand it sitting and having to wait for you to phone.¡± ¡°But boo, the Doctor said that you should be resting.¡± ¡°I am going to rest when we go fetch your mom and me some coffee. It was a damn long bus ride, and my feet are killing me.¡± With that, we leave my mom¡¯s room and start to walk down the corridor, but she pauses for a brief moment and pierces those brown eyes deep into mine, ¡°I am so sorry about all of this, soldier.¡± ¡°Ya, next time you tell me something is wrong, I am going to think twice rushing you to the Doctor. Your ¡®feeling¡¯ has given us both a heart attack.¡± ¡°Come on; I thought it was funny, only up until the hospital phoned you.¡± ¡°Ya, and then when you had a little breakdown, it was not so funny anymore.¡± She only but pulls me deep into her embrace. With her big belly pressing hard against my sculpted abs, I get lost in thefort that she brings. Then I look back into those brown eyes, ¡°Thank you foring, even though I am going to spank your ass for not listening to the Doctor.¡± ¡°Oh, that Doctor does not know what he is doing.¡± ¡°Boo, I think it is a general thing; none of them seem to know what the hell it is that they are supposed to practice.¡± I step forward, pressing her body against the wall. She sys her hand against my chest and tries to whisper; I only but ces a finger against her sweet cherry red lips. ¡°Ssshhh, boo. You don¡¯t know how much I have missed you.¡± I hover my lips over the tip of her ear; the warmth of my breath makes her shiver. Then I take my hand to her trembling cheek. I cannot keep the fight against the thoughts that are running through my mind, which is flooding my senses. She looks down at my slightly parted lips, and I know what is about to happen. My heart skips a beat, and my damn knees get wobbly. I curl my hand around her neck and tangle the other in her long wavy hair. Our lips brush softly against each other like little butterfly wings. Her lips dance soft and delicate against mine. But I pull away and hesitate for a moment. She tastes like passion, like pure, unrestrained passion, and I want more. So we begin to close the gap even more than before. What begins as a small peck bes more passionate. The rest of the world spins so fast it bes non-existent. I lean even further into her, and our body melts into each other. It is as if I can feel a fire zing within me, out of control. We arepletely and utterly in sync at this very moment. Then she presses her lips against mine even harder. Lightning passes through me. I feel lost in a different universe, and she is slowly taking me there. Her cold hand creeps from my neck down my spine and pulls me closer. Her touch makes my body shiver. My heart races. My body surrenders. I give everything to her. Slowly, she slips her arms firm around my waist and pulls me closer. I want to feel her warmth deep in her depths as I fill herpletely inch by inch, pushing her body to a limit beyond diving over a cliff of ecstasy and pleasure. But as she looks at me, those eyes smolder. I can see the desire that is burning on the edge of lust and a hint of passion. Her craving speaks unspoken from those soft velvet lips that are trembling but a fraction from the arousal she feels that is building within the center of her core. I only have to touch her, but like a feather, and she would explode. Then from behind us, I hear as someone clears their throat rather loudly; as I turn around with much annoyance, I am faced with Gibbs, that seems to have seen a ghost. ¡°Ethan, it is your dad.¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Chapter 140 Lessons Of Life I have learned, the hard way, that some poems don¡¯t rhyme, and some stories don¡¯t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment, and making the best of it without knowing what¡¯s going to happen next. Why did I not learn to treat everything like it was thest time? My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future. The truth is that unless you let go unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward. It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone, the more it wants to getaway. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you because you think that your feelings were wrong, and it makes you feel so small because it¡¯s so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn¡¯te back. You¡¯re left so alone that you can¡¯t exin. You¡¯ve got to dance like there¡¯s nobody watching, love like you¡¯ll never be hurt, sing like there¡¯s nobody listening, and live like it¡¯s heaven on earth. Well, do I believe in that faint breath of a word that is called a miracle? It will take me some more convincing, but what has just happened is rather a good start. My dad just had a peak in his heart rhythm, which means that goddamn machine beat a bit faster than it has for the past three days. Is this hope? Well, the Doctor said we need to have faith for when he runs another round of tests tomorrow morning. So I guess I need to start believing in those words that I have been trying so hard to avoid from feeling.Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. So, yes, ept it. At some point, you are going to have to ept that there are words like faith, like hope and that there are even those things that they are calling miracles. Ya, I can no honestly say that you, this fucking illness, thisa, you can now go away. You might think you are tearing us apart, where in fact, you are only bringing us stronger and closer towards each other. You infiltrate so many lives; how can you remember the details of my dad¡¯s? I do not remember you entering our thoughts. You were not in our vision at all. You cane to us in shock, all grades of your aggressiveness. I will give it to you; you totally took us by surprise and caught us out! My dad has one hell of a fight on his hands against you. It is taking all he has to fight. You tear at his body; you mess with his mind; you make him, at times, doubt his desire to carry on fighting you, but trust me when I say that those doubts are momentary. They only ur in the rare weak moments when he hurts too much. When he feels too exhausted, you underestimated him. He is fighting you hard, and it is at this point that I should tell you that you can never win against us. Never. You have so many victories, have beat so many people, but I need you to know that this is a battle you can not win, and I am going to tell you why. But first¡­ You changed my dad. You changed the man that I love into a man I wasn¡¯t sure of. For the first time ever, there were sides of my dad that I did not recognize. And you can do that to a person. You make him fight demons that only he could see. Twist his mind, test his soul. You make him hurt from the top of his head right down to his toes. You weaken him physically, something he has never before experienced. You make him question his own strength, his desire to fight. You make him terrified, but not for himself, never for himself; you make him terrified of causing us, his family, so much pain, so much hurt in our hearts. You make him feel guilty for the tears and heartache he sees in us, his family¡¯s eyes. You make his own eyes look so, so sad. I can see in them the rawness of his fear and desperate longing to stay with us. You break all our hearts. You steal our happiness and rock the very foundation of our home. You are able to do this because my dad is our happy. He is the foundation of our home. The strength. The pir that holds up and supports us. The beacon that lights up our home and path when darker times have hit in the past. He is our home. You make us have to pause life for a while, something that we have never done. You make us live with real, crippling fear. I hate you so much for doing that. Suddenly the impulsive side of our lives has to be pushed aside to amodate the days of sickness, the dark days, the weakness. We have always lived our life looking for adventure, exploring, living. We have always had a positive outlook on life, always knowing that we were lucky. Perhaps you thought us a little smug in our happiness? You have taken all of that from us. But, I am a fair person, so I need to tell you what you also gave us. Bnce things up a little. This will also help you understand why you can never win this particr battle! When you give us time to breathe, you give us a renewed lust and love of life. You make us appreciate what we have, made us truly understand and remember how bloody lucky we are. We have always chosen to live fully, with no regrets, but you make us run full pelt at life again. You make us grab every opportunity, ept every invitation,ugh with abandon every single day. You remind us to love deeply, appreciate fully, and to never, ever take anything for granted. You cement in our minds what is important and what really isn¡¯t! That is what you give us, and I will afford you a small nod of credit for that. Now, let me tell you why you can¡¯t be victorious in this battle with us. You cannot win because all of what I have mentioned is ours to keep, and nothing you do can take that from us. Whatever happens, you can not take that. Some people don¡¯t get a single day of what we have! There is no coulda woulda shoulda with us, no regrets. So you invading our lives just made us make more memories. We tried things we had wanted to try. We upped the anti and lived harder than ever! Yes, you stayed on the periphery of our vision; that tends to be your way. You like to keep all of those touched by you, fearful of your return. It is your calling card, isn¡¯t it, your modus operandi. You like us never to forget your visit. But every single day, we got up and lived. You seem to want to make my dad battle. I would be lying if I didn¡¯t admit that we are scared. That we don¡¯t have to control our minds to prevent them from taking us to dark ces. It would also be a lie to say that we don¡¯t fear you. That I don¡¯t feel like someone is sitting on my chest, such is the panic. We do fear you. But fear can be channeled and molded into positive energy. An incredibly strong and potent positive energy. Did you not know that? I learned that ability a long time ago, so we have got that skill in the bag. What you perhaps didn¡¯t anticipate, though, is that we are battle-ready. We are not blindsided. We are ready, with more weapons in our arsenal, more strength in our heads and hearts, and an army behind us! We are ready to battle you. Trust me when I say my dad will fight you with every ounce of his being. He will push back as hard as you push, harder, in fact. I promise you that. Oh, and guess what, we have the added advantage of knowing that whatever happens, You Cannot Win, because we have already won! We have truly and fully lived, and you can never, ever take that away from us. Our memories, our love, our shared adventures, our full-to-bursting hearts. They can never be lost. We have won. Hate is a strong word, but I truly hate you. Youe in where you¡¯re not wanted and take what¡¯s not yours. So this is why I¡¯m telling you. I need to get all of this hurt and anger off of my chest. I am so pissed that you take and take and take. But, you know what? You are not invincible. You have taught us a lot. We can¡¯t consider you a friend yet, but you have created a fire inside us that we are thankful for. We have learned to let go of the negative thoughts that we had pushed deep down inside ourselves and release the emotions that were harming us physically. We will not let you have thest dance. No, sir. We will no longer put our lives on hold to be happy someday. We will not stress any longer over things we cannot control and instead will celebrate by living life to the fullest. We know there will be bumps along the way in life, but as long as we are able to see the sunrise and smell the fresh air, we can ovee anything, and that means you. So, he will fight to live; he will fight to give life in the future. You will not rob us of that. You¡¯ve lost your fair share of battles. You havee against those who refuse to go gentle into the night. My dad will rage against the dying of the light. He will rage against you. And, his light will still shine bright. We might ept that you are here. We know that we need to ept that this is not our fault and that there is nothing that we can do about it. But what we can do is fight and fight we will. Yes, life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proiming ¡°Wow! What a Ride!¡± Chapter 141 Three Things Of Something They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for. Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there¡¯s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic It¡¯s like a drop of honey, a field of tulips blooming in the springtime. It¡¯s a fresh rain, a whispered promise, a cloudless sky, the perfect punctuation mark at the end of a sentence. And it¡¯s the only thing in the world keeping me afloat Hope is not about proving anything. It¡¯s about choosing to believe this one thing, that love is bigger than any grim, bleak shit anyone can throw at us, and as long as the sun¡¯s shining, shit can¡¯t be that bad. One resolution I have made, and always try to keep, is this: ¡®To rise above little things.¡¯ Keep a little fire burning; however small, however, hidden. Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. Trust. Hope. Love. Wish. Believe. Most of all, enjoy every moment of the journey and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go. Hope says that it isn¡¯t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don¡¯t worry. It may be the thing that pulls you forward, maybe the thing that keeps you going, but that it¡¯s dangerous, that it¡¯s painful and risky, that it¡¯s making a dare in the world, and when has the world ever let us win a dare? They say that each person is ced on earth to learn a certain lesson, and you will continue to be reincarnated until you have to find the lesson that you need to learn. And this is my lesson. To care about someone other than myself. Not to be selfish. It has been four days since the spike in his heart rate; there has been no other improvement. I thought that he was getting better. Why does it feel like he is getting worse? My mom is moving around much more freely; when she has the strength, she wille to sit here by his side. I can hear how softly she prays for him. It feels like she is losing the love of her life. I know exactly how she feels, for if that were Anaying there, my heart would be swept off the floor. So yes, you die a little bit every second as the clock ticks, and nothing seems to happen. Our lives have been put on hold, and we are forced to go through the greatest agony of them all. It feels like each day; you need to make it count. That today might be the day that the beeping machine will still make a sound. The thing is that, in a way, you need to make peace with yourself. There is nothing that anyone of us could have done differently. Yet, another lesson for me to learn, make peace and forgive myself. My dad might stare a certain death in the face, but we need to make that peace that he is fighting this battle as hard as he wants it to be. Yes, our lives are nothing without him, but this is not about us; this is about him. The end might be near, just as this day is drawing to its very end, but one thing that is consistent is that hope and that peace. Without hanging onto that, we would be chasing our own tails in the dark. But when darkness sets in, it makes way for a starry night, which then makes us believe in those little things called miracles. And with miracles in mind, another two days pass. There is what the Doctor is getting overexcited, a slight decrease in the pressure on his brain. So the very moment, he said that there was not one dry eye in the room, for we all started to believe in something new called faith. Just when we were all starting to lose hope, and everything started to seem dire and bleak, our hearts that were slowly dying found that silver lining that was pushing through the dark clouds. And this is where Anaes with the most profound; we need to believe and embrace the present with courage and hope. We need to ept that my dad is going nowhere; for as long as he can spread his wings, the winds will carry him where he needs to be. And she firmly believes that my dad is going nowhere but home. But yet then I need to remind her that we all get second chances, but how many seconds have my dad had, is there onest miracle left for him? This is what we sit and wonder for the next three days. In and out of his hospital room in shifts, trying not to upset the bnce of things that are starting to look better. The swelling has now gone half of what it used to be. The Doctor and all of us are very optimistic. But we are now leaning towards what the tests will say that the Doctor will be doing in the next few hours. Is my dad going to wake up aplete man, or will parts of his brain have died? But this is not a thought that we wish to entertain. My dad is one of the bravest people that I know. I know that he will be intact. I have always been in awe of his bravery, and I hope that now, with this illness, that he will take it on just as he does everything else that life throws at him. Watching him as heys in that bed day in and day out has given me a newfound appreciation for everything that he has ever done for me. He did not only take care of my mom as his wife, but he put a lot of effort into raising us boys. I can with certainty say that he is my superman, and I want to be the same for my wife and child one day. So lesson being learned, I want him to know how grateful I am to have such a wonderful dad in my life. I am thankful for every day that he is a blessing in my life. I want to thank him mostly for always being there for me, even when I gave him the world of hell when I wanted to be a Marine. I hate seeing him go through this; it is unfair. Life is brutally unfair. He deserves so much. I wish I could take all of his pain and make it mine, but I cant. So I will be there for him as much as I can. I will stop being selfish and think of the life of someone else¡¯s. And as another three dayse around, I am still reminded how much I love him.Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. The swelling is still dropping, and we are patiently waiting for the green light to go ahead with the tests. To my utmost frustration, this Doctor, whom I feel ispletely useless, has put them off to wait for the swelling to drop even more. As for my mom, she is now free to go home, but as can be expected, she has not left my dad¡¯s side. Matty, Ana, and even more surprising, Gibbs is still here. For illness, near death, to bring a family together like this is a miracle on its own. Perhaps that is what a miracle truly is, the support and love you have from the ones that are holding you dearly in their hands. People are miracles, not things; that is one thing that I havee to learn. Giving up yourself to care and love for someone else now that is the greatest gift and the biggest lesson to learn. So this just brings me to this, FIGHT. We are not yet ready to let the old man go, and we all are willing to FIGHT. I AM WILLING TO FIGHT FOR IT. I am willing to make the sacrifices. And it is those sacrifices that I make for another four days. It has been around three weeks that we have all raged this battle. Each time I look at him, it seems that my heart breaks some more. My eyes are etched with pain; it feels like I am the one that is fading away. It has been such a long time, I am trying to stay strong, but my own deterioration has been so rapid. I am struggling to cope, and even more, I am struggling to ept that I do not know what is going to happen. Even though he is still here, it feels as if I am already in mourning; I feel that there is a big part of my life that has gone. I can imagine not having him in my life; I am feelingpletely helpless. Yet, then when I hit rock bottom, I have Ana taking my hand and reminding me that now is the time to have faith. We need to believe. So as they wheel him out of the room to go have those tests finally done, for the swelling is nowpletely gone, we all stand and hold hands, reminding ¨C Faith is about believing. You don¡¯t know how it will happen, but it will happen. Have patience; all things are difficult before they be easy. Fight! This is only going to be a chapter in your life. Not a whole story. Don¡¯t stop believing in yourself, no matter what happens. ept it. At some point, you are going to have to ept that this is not your fault. There is nothing that you can do about it. Forgive yourself. There is nothing that you could have done differently. Forget about it. Don¡¯t be a prisoner of things that you cannot change. And at the end of this, my dad will learn YOU ARE NOT LEAVING US BEHIND. Chapter 142 Pushed To The Limit This has made me realize once again how precious life is. It has made me realize that you can do everything in your own power to protect the person you love, and yet there will be an evil that will find its way in. Coming so close to losing each other has reminded me how fragile our rtionship is. Even though we have known each other for over a year, it still seems yet so new and vulnerable. What does bring my heart the joy is that no matter what gets kicked in our way that we alwayse out stronger than before. Each day I pray for the day that it shall all be without any problems in our life. Do I believe that we are getting tested? I believe that we are getting pushed to a limit to see how much we can break. We have broken many times, and sometimes we did not know that we can be put back to getter again. But there is nothing stronger than love; there is no glue stronger than love that can fix the pieces. Your mom always tells you that life is never going to be easy, and she tries as hard as she can to teach you those important lessons of life. Those lessons, that in times like these that we always forget. Life is a continuous learning experience. Throughout our lives, we keep rising and falling, picking up important lessons along the way. Some of these lessonse from experience, yet there are others that we learn by watching others or even as simple as read a book. There are some life lessons that we cannot learn until we face them. Most people would say that there are some lessons thate toote; they catch us off-guard when we are unprepared. What my dad was never prepared for was that somewhere along the line, we realized that though we want to live forever, that we¡­ Need to walk our own path. Now do not get me wrong here; we surely do not mean for this to happen, this was a mistake; that was not choosing a road that was nned. But is that not choosing a path then? I do not see it as one. We have strived to build a future for ourselves. This is the path that you need to walk on your own. Your future, you are not listening to what other people say when they judge you. Never shall my dad nor I let anyone influence our vision in life. This is a lesson that I need my children to learn one day. Walk your own path. When you were young, yes, you are supposed to do as your mother and father say. Your dreams are not yet formed, for you are only but a young child. You do not even know what life has to offer, and you only live by the rules that your parents set for you. Life is simple, and you follow the path that they chose for you. They, when they see they are going the wrong way, they shall direct you in the way that you should go. Teaching a child to live towards what their goal and their dreams are is easy.All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. Yes, and that is what I shall teach my children, but only in a sense until they can one day start making their own choice. Once you reach that age when they ask you, ¡°What do you want to be when you grow up.¡± That is the time that you have the power to starting walking towards your own dream, and you are creating your own path. Did my dad, when he was at a tender age, have this nned for himself? There is nothing that he did wrong or could have even done to have prevented this from creeping into his body. His dream was not to be sick. He did not want to spend endless hours in pain. He once told me having a headache, it is taking a cheese grater and start grating you head to pieces. The mere thought sent horror through my body. He did not even stray from his path and thought that this would happen? What path did he choose then? It was chosen for him. Not by himself, nor by his parents. Not only has he been given a raw deal, but he is also nearlypletely alone. It is up to me to try to keep him on a path, what path; as I said, I do not know. Every time he tries to do something different, something that he has not done the day before, but yet, as now, while I am waiting for him toe back from the tests, he still has not chosen this path. Everyone thinks it is easy. ¡°How is your dad?¡± Is all that they say. What do you tell them? He does not have a path to follow. I cannot imagine anything worse that has happened in my life topare it to his. Yes, all those years when I went out and got drunk and get sick and wake up with a headache. I would take a simple little aspirin, and my headache would be away. Not my dad. There is nothing so strong, that the doctor can give him to take his pain away. He carries himself through it every day, and every day his life is the same. That, which is even sad to say. But we are not losing hope. My dad will have a path which he can choose. It might not happen today or tomorrow, but I believe with a strong heart that he shall edge closer and closer to that. What does bring my heart a further a, every second that he is in pain I cry. Whoever said that life is not fair, well, I am saying that he is very wise. But don¡¯t they also say you get what you give. Now I would love to know what my dad has done to get what he is given? My heart breaks every second, and yes, I said that love is the strongest glue, but illness cannot put my dad and me back. Our love is what keeps us hanging on together. Our love is choosing our path. And even though I know what the path is that I want to follow, this is telling, sorry, not today. So, see, it is not only people that make you stray from your path; it is an illness, an evil that tells you what shall happen to you today. And, god, it is not predictable because yesterday he was fine; today, he cannot move. I honestly, and they say that it is such a strong word, but I hate this illness. It has ruined the man that I love. It has let him stray from a path even before he could choose it. The one thing that I can not give him is health; yes, I will be there. But how do you start taking that away? My path has be to find a way for him to get better. But my hands are tied, and there is nothing that I can do at all. I am a weak man, and I have no idea where I am going. I have a beautiful little babying, and I want for him to see it grow up. We don¡¯t know where my dad is going. Can anyone help us? No. We only have each other, and we both need to push this through. Our goal is for him to get better. I can with certainty say that one of these we shall achieve. We need to find that path. No matter what happens. This is what I repeat in my head over and over as four hours have now passed; it is only total agony as we wait in anticipation. The fear that I felt four hours ago has not changed but for a moment. I am still terrified, and I am shocked to horror at what the oue might be. Yes, I still fear that he will note back. One cannot help but feel this; it is just human; we think the worst before the best even happens. But yes, time has been going by faster than we would have wanted, time spent with bad memories and, do I even dare to say, regrets. Life is short and that tomorrow isn¡¯t guaranteed. No one said this would be easy. But I¡¯m thankful that it¡¯s been hard. I¡¯m thankful because it means this is for real. That we¡¯re for real. And that we¡¯re going to make it through no matter what. And when you know that, you realize that everything else, the worries and the struggles, they can take a backseat on this beautiful ride we¡¯re on together. So yes, I do need to remember that I should not stop believing in myself, no matter what happens. I should not stop believing in my dad. He needs to find his path and walk it in freedom. And it is that path that the Doctor walks as he brings me the news of the oue of the tests. Chapter 143 Tormented Torture ¡­Mary POV¡­ I keep repeating to myself over and over to absolute tormented torture that it should be me. John has been nothing but a good man and a good father, and he does not deserve anything that has been thrown in his life that is so bad that it is keeping him away from his family. I know that being strong should be something that I should practice, but how can I be strong when the person that helps me to be, is not here? I can, and it is simply not a statement, but my breath is useless if I do not have him breathing it here with me. My boys need a father, and I need a husband. This will only be a chapter in the book of his life, but he needs to move on now, for he has stayed too long. He needs to see the value that he has brought to the life of people that are even beyond his family. He has brought together bonds that we all thought were broken a long time. Let us take, for instance¡­ You have a Marine that can be at home on his couch now waiting to be called up for his next deployment, a Marine that is not his son, that is standing, holding his hand and praying for him to wake up. You have an expecting mother, who should be in bed, yet not part of the family, but she is sitting awake by his side for longer than she should be. Then the boys¡­well, there is not much one can say about the Hunter boys. They love their father, and they love giving him shit too. And he should know that he is never going to live this one down. He has been away for a while now, and all I can say is that the air is so thick that you can cut it with a knife. I have not stopped crying since they took him away. My only fear is that damn machine is going to stop beating when we are not near. The thought that I will never see him again destroys me. The heavens have opened up, and heavy rain has started to beat against my skin. I can almost say the hurt of the tears pounding on my skin is almost as deafening as the beating of my heart. I think that the ones on the side where only health prevails, their bodies hurt more than the ones that are riddled with illness. I know that John will not give up and that he will fight this with everything that he has got. But I am scared that even though his body is healing that his mind does not want to let go. Does he even know that I am okay? That I have survived? Perhaps there is an agony in his soul, and he might think I might have let go? Will he let go? Unfortunately, life is a cruel joke sometimes. The love of my life might be taken from me, and I will never speak to or see him again. I genuinely don¡¯t know how I will get through, but I will because that is what John would have wanted me to do. He never gives up, and neither will I. Never. But I know that he will look at me and tell me to man up and stop crying. That is how he is. Inappropriate, love tough, and want me to be happy. I will never meet another man like John, and I don¡¯t want to. He will forever be the light in my life, and I will keep him with me every step of the way. He is my soul mate, lover, best friend, and favorite person in the whole world. He tells me all the time that we are two halves that were lucky enough to meet. It is him and me against the world, and it always will be. I keep hearing the pain will get better, even if it never fully leave me. I am struggling to believe that right now. John makes me so happy. We truly are meant for one another, and we have a connection and bond that most people never get to experience. We are lucky in that sense. We always fight for each other no matter what.Always and forever, we will be a team. We have gone through such hard times, but I remember him with our cherished moments together. Our drunken nights when we first met, where we would dance the night away, drinking wine and telling each other stories about our lives. The cuddles and kisses. The deep conversations about life and the universe around us. Our engagement. Our trips to the theatre where he would get so into it that he was singing louder than the people on stage. How weughed at the same stupid and inappropriate stuff. Our strength in the face of adversity. Our daily gushing of love for one another. The fact we never give up on one another. The homes we share. The gifts we share. The life we shared. The friends we share. The family we share. The many weekend trips we took. Our honeymoon. Our wedding, which was the best day of our lives. But most of all, I cherish him and his spirit. He showed me what it is to be really strong, and he always believes in me. I hope I make him proud. If I had to say something to him now, what would I say? Well, I guess something like this¡­ It still feels like a nightmare. Even after all these long hard days, it doesn¡¯t seem real. I¡¯m looking at you, and I can see how much has changed since this all had started. Your energy, I am sure it has decreased, you¡¯ve lost weight, and I know if you open those blue eyes that they will be etched with the pain. But your smile, regardless of what your body is going through, I know that you will still have that warm smile; yourugh will be contagious as it lights up the entire room. The most important thing that I know, apart from your body changing, is how much that you love me. You¡¯re one of the bravest people I know. Why is it that the most important man in my life has to go through this? I remember sitting in the room with you when the doctor told us how serious the blood clot was. It felt like everything was crashing down on me. I was upset, but I was mostly terrified of losing you because there¡¯s still so much for us to experience. You need to be there; you are the love of my life. Experiencing this, his given me a newfound perspective on life. I want you to know how grateful I am to have such a wonderful person in my life. I am thankful for every day that you are a blessing in my life. The best husband anyone could ever ask for. Thank you for being there for me all these years, even now, perhaps, when you don¡¯t feel like fighting anymore. Thank you. And thank you for never forgetting to remind me that I¡¯m the best thing that ever happened to you. I hate seeing you go through all this; it¡¯s so unfair. You deserve so much. I wish I could take all of your pain and make it mine, but I can¡¯t, so I want to be there for you as much as I can. I want you to know that I love you so much. We¡¯ll get through this together, just like we started. Let your faith give youfort when you are feeling sick and strength when you are at your weakest, because when all is said and done, you will have faced this demon, and by doing so, you will find that this is how heroes are made. These are uncertain times, and I want you to know that you are not alone. You have a team of doctors and a team of family and friends, and we are all rooting for you today, but better than all of that, you have faith and hope on your side. Today, I want you to focus on that; I want you to focus on the fight and not the fright. So, please, John, keep on having faith and hope. Don¡¯t lose hope. When the sun goes down, the starse out. Nothing can separate us from our faith. NOTHING! Not sickness. Not pain. Not loneliness. Not uncertainty. Nothing can separate you from this. Faith is daring to go beyond what the eyes can see. Do not fear this walk through the valley. We all have valleys to walk through. Many have been through this valley before you, and many walk in your footsteps. Do not be afraid. You are strong, and we all are with you every step of the way! Some days there won¡¯t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Don¡¯t quit! Rest. Give yourself time. Don¡¯t try to do too much. Strength. This is what we need today and every day. We need strength¡ªsometimes just to take the next breath. But keep your strength. This is your opportunity to prove the strength you have; this is your opportunity to you can, and that you will ovee this. I am truly, madly, and deeply in love with you. You showered me with unconditional love and were there for me through all my ups and downs. You are a man stronger than anyone I know. Thank you for everything you did for me. You are an angel sent from above. You loved me with all your heart and trusted me with your life. This always made me strive and be the best wife for you. I am going to show you that I am here for you; we will fight this thing together. I will be carrying your faith and your prayer when you don¡¯t have the strength to. I have never told you how blessed I feel to have you in life. So today, I want to tell you how much I love you. I love you so much, my dear John, that I can¡¯t express it in words. Still, let me try to tell you what you mean to me. You are the center of my life, your presence makes my dull life beautiful, and most of my memorable memories are due to you or with you. Thank God I met you; otherwise, my life would have been very sad and dull. Now I can¡¯t imagine my life without you. You are the most important person to me, and I am nothing And it is you, this most important man in my life, that is being wheeled back to the room with the Doctoring walking up to us. So he gently leans his hand on my shoulder and sits down next to me, ¡°Mrs. Hunter, I am afraid¡­¡± Chapter 144 Love Will Heal All Two feelingse to mind as I see the Doctor gentlyy his hand on my mom¡¯s shoulder. Strangely the very first toe to mind I love. There has been nothing but love towards my dad for these days with the only effort in bringing him back. Yet, then there is the ce that is created for a great monster that can take a hold of your heart and twist it in directions that the mind will be tormented at. This, my dear friend, is none other than fear. A good man once said, expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, the fear shrinks, and vanishes and you are free. There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and eptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that nts a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that¡¯s what you¡¯ve given me. That¡¯s what I¡¯d hoped to give you forever. We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter. Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don¡¯t even matter, while all that time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets! It¡¯s time to put an end to this. It¡¯s time for us to let ourselves be loved. Love is scary. Giving your heart to someone, hoping they won¡¯t drop it. Letting someone in, hoping they won¡¯t rob you of all you hold dear. Trusting someone that they won¡¯t leave.All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. It¡¯s scary as fuck. And you are right to be scared. I¡¯m scared, too. But love is also the most beautiful thing there is. It¡¯s emotion, power. It¡¯s healing and pain.It¡¯s both pleasure and suffering at the same time, but damn, it¡¯s beautiful. We wouldn¡¯t be going back to it if it wasn¡¯t. We wouldn¡¯t have hope to love again someday if we didn¡¯t love the love itself. But, what happens when the painful past is stronger than our hope? What happens when we¡¯re too afraid to face the love? You¡¯ll find that someone who will turn your world upside down. You¡¯ll find that someone who will make you realize that you¡¯ve never been more afraid of love than when you¡¯re with him. But damn,it¡¯s worth it.It¡¯s worth believing he will stay; it¡¯s worth believing he won¡¯t hurt you. Because, deep down, you know he will stay no matter what. You know he¡¯s afraid as much as you are¡ªmaybe even more. But you both faced your fears and decided to stay. Yes. Love is scary. Yes, I¡¯m scared too. But it¡¯s okay. It¡¯s okay to shut some people out. It¡¯s okay to take your time to get better, to take your time to let certain people in. It¡¯s okay to build walls because sometimes they¡¯re the only thing that¡¯s protecting our hearts.It¡¯s okay to run away if you¡¯re not ready. Don¡¯t push yourself to do things you¡¯re notfortable with. Don¡¯t force yourself to love someone if you¡¯re not ready. Don¡¯t bring yourself down if everyone around you pressures you into giving in to love. You¡¯re not a machine. You can¡¯t get better if you switch it off and on again. You need time; you need space. Even if it takes you years to get there,it¡¯s okay. But trust me, one day, when you look back, you will see how far you¡¯vee. You will see how brave you¡¯ve be; how badass you were this whole time. And you¡¯ll see that love is still scary, no matter how much better you get. No matter how strong you are, it¡¯s still damn scary. But you¡¯re one hell of a person, and there¡¯s nothing stopping you from conquering that fear. Often you find that the people who are most afraid of love, are the ones who have experienced it at a level deeper than most. So whether you have seen love or not, the one thing those two people have most inmon is fear. Fear is one of the strongest emotions that dictate what a person will or will not do; fear controls us if we let it. But I have found the things that scare you most often are the best for you. I understand how people can fear love; the idea of opening up to someone and being vulnerable to pain is a part of the risk thates with loving. But when you find the right love, you¡¯ll realize the risk is worth it. If you open yourself up to love, any voids in your past can be filled because of the love someone gives you. While fear is the strongest emotion that controls us, love is the most powerful emotion. There is a reason, every movie has a storyline with love, or every ssic song is about love. Love is the only emotion that makes you the best version of yourself, and when you find that person whom you would be perfect with, you have to not be afraid of being with them. It¡¯s natural to ruin a rtionship before it starts, it¡¯s normal to stare at someone you know would be perfect for you, yet you refrain from pursuing them because you allow fear to dictate your actions. Maybe you don¡¯t think you are worthy of love, maybe you don¡¯t think you can engage in a rtionship without hurting someone, because, in your past, you have let people close only to run away if they tried to get too close. Maybe you think the only thing you are capable of is hurting those same people who love you. Maybe that same person knows all this about you, maybe they know about your past and know how you feel about the subject, yet the fact they still love you regardless of the risk thates in loving you. These are the type of people you have to be with. Cause if you can find someone who loves you at your worst, imagine the influence you would have on each other at your best. Love is scary. Getting hurt is scarier. But I think we all walk around a little broken from pasts that weren¡¯t within our control. We think walking alone on this journey and not hurting someone will protect ourselves and protect others, but the truth is we aren¡¯t supposed to be alone in the world. We are all destined to meet someone. Once we do, not only will we not want to live without them ¨C we won¡¯t be able to. They are our soul mates, our person, the one individual on this who will ept us for all we are. They love us for the things we aren¡¯t, and they take that plunge that love requires. Don¡¯t ever be afraid of falling in love ¨C be afraid of not allowing yourself to experience all the wonderful things love entails. Well, I have known nothing but fear for these past days; in fact, fear, we have known each other for a very long time. My whole life, to be precise. We¡¯ve been together through everything, the good times and, yup, definitely the bad. Looking back, I wonder why you were there when I¡¯ve been happy, why you questioned my happiness, but I guess you just didn¡¯t want to feel left out of the party. You just wanted to keep reminding me you¡¯re there, like a security nket, promising to never leave my side. We¡¯ve been through so much together, and I know you¡¯ll always be around. You¡¯re in my life, and always will be, for a reason, so let¡¯s try and figure out why and how we can be of use to each other. First of all, fear, let¡¯s be clear about who you are to me. You are the voices in my head that often caution me or tell me reasons not to do something. You are that feeling in my gut that warns me to stay away from a ce, person, or a situation. You and Instinct work together on that. You are also that feeling that sits just near my heart, beneath my breastbone, that makes me think twice before I do anything that could potentially make me feel vulnerable. You are there. Hovering. I feel you, and I can hear you telling me not to do it because I may getughed at. You¡¯re telling me this isn¡¯t a great idea. You really are quite persistent. You are loudest at night. When I¡¯m lying in bed, and I¡¯m thinking about my ns, my family, my choices, my dreams. You pop up and decide now is the time for us to have a debate about it all. Actually, where you¡¯re concerned, it never really is a debate. Not at night anyway. At night, you decide that¡¯s the best time to hit me with your worst-case scenarios. You do this because you know it¡¯s at night when I¡¯m at my weakest, most vulnerable and susceptible to you. You are strong. I¡¯ll give you that. You do have power, and you know the exact moment when you can really pack that punch. So what is your purpose? I can ept that you are there to protect me. You are that gatekeeper to the dangers to my physical being that you can potentially foresee, and I am grateful to you for that. I am grateful for your protection. Fear, that purpose of yours is great. Really. When you show up then, the fear I feel manifests in all my senses heightened. I am on guard. My muscles are tense, and I am ready to pounce on anyone who threatens my family or me. That is when you, fear, are being strong for me. Let me tell you what I have learned so far; when I don¡¯t listen to you when you¡¯re like this is that I feel exhrated for taking a chance. I am energized for going where I haven¡¯t gone before. That moment just before I take the leap into my potential is where you¡¯re there with your red stop sign trying to get me to stay on my very own well-trodden path. You¡¯refortable there because that¡¯s where you have control; it¡¯s where you know they of my emotionalnd. Those voices of yours are drowned out by the loud thumps of my beating heart, the thumps that are my own cheerleading squad telling me to just try. Just. Try. Just Try. And I know myself now just as I am knowing more about you, is that what I don¡¯t want to feel, more than you in my head and my heart, is regret. Fear, youe and go. But regret, well, regret stays forever. And regret is the most unwee guest because, in most cases, I can prevent regret froming into my home. But none of these, not fear or regret, will have the upper hand today, for as we are all waiting in anticipation for the Doctor to speak, from behind where I have been standing, there is only but one word that echoes through the room, ¡°Ethan.¡± Chapter 145 Out Of The Woods Over the past few weeks, I have learned a lot about myself. I thought that being a Marine means that you are the strongest man that there can be. Yet, learning about hope and faith, having the will to see that there is always going to be a tomorrow, is a far greater strength than what a man in uniform can bring. This has by far been the greatest learning experience for me, and even though we might havee through it this far, it does not mean that the battle is not over. I think that only now the true healing will begin. And that I can with almost all certainty say as I am now staring my father in eyes that are very much wide open. And as I am the first to nearly leap in his arms, the flood of emotions, the fear of losing himes flooding like a raging river from eyes that have grown far puffier than they should be. With only but a gentle squeeze of his hand instead, I softly whisper to him, ¡°It is good you finally joining us. I was really starting to get tired of these three faces.¡± Well, I don¡¯t know who is ring most, but I know that the one that will p the hardest is standing with a hand on her belly with the greatest smile that I have seen for days now. Then just as I say that, I immediately watch as he starts to search for her; his eyes are scanning the room to utmost frustration, and just as he is about to give in to tears, my mom steps from behind Gibbs. Now there is nothing better than seeing the joy of two people, given they are yet so old, to still show that love that we all carry in our hearts. Yes, it is kind of true that even though they are scary at the best of times, but parents are real people too. So very much satisfied, not saying anything else to my mom about what he was so afraid about, he steps closer and looks at my dad, ¡°How are you feeling, Mr. Hunter?¡± ¡°Tired.¡± Well, Matty just has to say it, ¡°You have been sleeping for three weeks.¡± My dad only but has shock written on his face, and as he stares at me with disbelief in his eyes, I only but nod my head. And with that Ana,es to pull me by the hand, ¡°Come, soldier,e, let¡¯s go get coffee, let your mom and dad be alone for a little while.¡± So we all find our way down the corridor of a path that we have walked far too many times for these past three weeks. I can, by all honesty say, that the only time I want to see a hospital again is when my baby boy, well, I am saying it is one, but that will be the next and veryst time I will set my foot in this godforsaken ce. Ana watching me lost in my thought again, pulls me closer to her side, ¡°It is all fine now, soldier.¡± ¡°I know, boo. It was just so close. Way too close, I in a way understand what you go through when I am deployed.¡± ¡°So, does that mean that you won¡¯t go anymore?¡± I only but chuckle at her, ¡°Nice try, but you know that nothing, except you, will stop me from doing what it is that I love to do.¡± As she ces a soft kiss on my lips, she softly speaks underneath her breath, ¡°I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I have been there before, and I know how much it sucks.¡± ¡°Boo, if it was not for you, then I do not think I would have had the strength to see it past the first week.¡± ¡°You know you would have; those are only the negative voices in your head talking; they are only telling you lies. I think that you have learned a lot about yourself.¡± She is right. I know that I might have gotten frustrated so many times; I felt weak and down, but I learned how to find the strength inside of me that I thought I did not have. I reminded myself of my strengths and to stop beating myself up over my weaknesses. Everyone has weaknesses. Your weaknesses aren¡¯t worse; they are just different.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. I am a Marine, I have those strengths inside, but I guess that life, real life, just knocks you over and takes you on apletely different ride. Does this now mean that I will be really giving up on a dream? This was only a detour; it was a learning curve, put in my way to teach me those lessons that I need to learn in life. I know I have a hard time sharing my struggles with others. I am used to carrying everyone else¡¯s burdens and doing everything I can to help them but rarely receive the same in return. I care so much about others, and I would never want to be a burden to anyone, so I keep my hurts to myself and suffer in silence. I pretend to be fine, so I can continue helping and uplifting others. I am scarily good at being fake happy; no one sees anything but what I want them to see.But this istes me.This makes me feel so lonely. And I don¡¯t have to go through this alone. This is what this has taught me, to let go and lean on someone else even if it is only for but a short time. But what I also need to remember is, I know that there are people who care about me. So why do I worry so much about being a burden to them?I know I have friends who are so ready to help me. Friends who have been blessed by what I have done for them and would be happy to repay the kindness by being there for me. So why do I fear being a burden? Perhaps I know that some would do anything for me, like Gibbs, but I know they have their own stuff they¡¯re going through, and I can¡¯t help but silently sacrifice myself for them.But I don¡¯t have to. I have done enough. I have done so much to help others. So why won¡¯t I let anyone help me? As I said, I¡¯m sure there are so many who would not only help me but be so happy to show me the kindness that I have shown them.Let them love me.They want to love me. Because they do love me! I¡¯ve been thinking a lot about life journeystely. Looking back at mine and seeing how far I¡¯vee, remembering how difficult things were at times and how persistent I remained throughout. I¡¯ve also been thinking about how each of us is on our own journey, weathering challenges and heartbreaks and celebrating aplishments, each of us making our way, step by step, to follow our hearts. Everyone¡¯s journey is unique. Where we¡¯re headed. Our goals. Our detours. Life is this beautiful, magical, scary thing. Unpredictable, uncontroble, but there are always recurring truths. Our own truths. Leading us onward. As each of us makes our way on our journey, we often have no idea where our paths will lead. Sometimes there¡¯s a specific, clear goal, but the road is never straight. I know mine certainly hasn¡¯t been. Looking back at the person that I was ¡ª hopeful, naive, nervous, with no n or road map or even idea of where, exactly, I wanted to go ¡ª I feel so much affection. Things didn¡¯t work out quite as we¡¯d expected. And I know that in my out-of-focus dreams back then never imagined I¡¯d be where I am today. I could boil it down into one simple sentence: I think that¡¯s the biggest lesson I¡¯ve learned over the years. Keep going. Through the darkness. Through the learning. Through challenges and ease. Keep going. Don¡¯t give up. There¡¯s more that I learned, and looking back, I see that although I felt uncertain and lost at times, I traveled my path with a strong faith in itsrightness These next years will be difficult for me. I will stumble. I will fall. There will be heartbreak and failure. I will pick myself back up and start again. I love that about myself. I am brave. I am strong (stronger than I could have imagined). More love will follow heartbreak. Sess will follow failure. There is always beauty and joy if you look for them. I know my dreams right now are a bit vague, especially with the baby on the way. They will get clearer. I will know which fork to take in the road when the path divides. Things will be slow going at times. It takes time to hone my skills. Be patient. I am starting at the beginning. I should notpare my tentative first steps with other people¡¯s confident, experienced strides. No matter how hard things be, I will keep the faith in myself. I have beauty and joy in my soul, always. ¡°Never doubt your own true heart.¡± With those words in mind, I will never falter. I will surmount the challenges. I will develop and grow. I am a Marine through and through. Never forget that. And never give up. I am capable of wonderful things. I know we never like to skip ahead in a story to see what will happen down the road. Let me just say this: we are capable of so much. Listen to the whispers of your soul and keep on going. And it is with this in mind that I slip away from Ana¡¯s side to go take a walk next to Gibbs, and I need not even have to say a word; he only but gives me a firm pat on the back, then after a few moments in ufortable silence, he speaks, ¡°You are a good friend. Fuck, you are an amazing human being. And I can tell you that I love you. I am so d the old man is back.¡± With that, Mattyes to join me on the other side, but not before he gives me one p against the head, ¡°You know what, bro. You are fucking awesome, and the world is a better ce because you are in it. But can you two stop being so damn morbid? I need some coffee in this body.¡± So, I go sit next to Ana by the table after I have ordered, then she gives me that look, and my goddamn heart stop, ¡°What is wrong now?¡± Chapter 146 The Art To Understanding My Wife One thing that I have learned with Ana, well, in fact, every woman, is that you need a lot of patience. Now when you ask her what is wrong, she will more than likely tell you nothing. If you are as persistent as me, and you continue to ask her this, she will, by all certainty, lose her temper with you. Then it is a whole new story. For if you ask her why she is upset, she will tell you that she is not. And so it goes, a whole string of questions and statements that will get you into nothing but trouble. So that is where I left it yesterday before she, Gibbs, and I, finally bid a farewell to my father, who was going to pull through without any hesitation. Sadly, we all had to return to our lives, as we have been away from normality for three weeks. Gibbs is back waiting for me to get my leg working so that we can go enlist for the Raiders. Matty is still with my mom and dad and will return in a week back to where he needs to be. So all and all, the Hunters are back to normal. It was a big scare, but we all got through it pretty well. Now, what else is still a scare for me is Ana that is walking around with this expression on her face. I swear the woman looks like she is going to pop a vein in her head. She is on the brink of saying something, but she is just not saying it. It is fucking frustrating. So I have had enough. We are still lying in bed, just about to get up to make breakfast, and me going into the nursery blindly trying to guess if it will be a boy or a girl. And this is where I make my move, she is going to get upset, but frankly, my nerves cannot handle this body anymore. ¡°Boo, out with it.¡± She turns at me rather confused and then gets this wicked smile on her face, ¡°Soldier, you know that we cannot.¡± ¡°Boo, if I want to have sex, do you think I would have asked?¡± Next, there is a hand that meets the back of my head so hard that it nearly snaps off my neck. But I am not fazed, ¡°What is wrong? And god, if you tell me nothing, then I am throwing you out of this window.¡± She only but gasps, and just as the impactes again, she stops in midair, ¡°What makes you think that something is wrong.¡± I wave my finger in front of her face, much to her annoyance, ¡°That. That ¡®Ana¡¯ look on your face.¡±All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. There is nothing but a rumble ofughtering from her belly, ¡°I did not know I had an ¡®Ana¡¯ look.¡± ¡°Boo, you have a lot of ¡®Ana¡¯ things. Now you have been sitting with this face for a day, and it is starting to grind my ass and believe me, it is not the grinding that I am after.¡± ¡°Well, what if¡­¡± She turns her head to face me. Those deep cherry lips are so close to me that with only but one wink, I would im those lips. Then with absolute raw desire, I grab that damn peachy ass and pull every inch of her toned body into mine. I hear her gasp as she prepares to push me away, but as she leans into me, she catches a hint of my cologne and eases into me. She kisses me gently and carefully, but it is not gentleness that I am after. I knot my fist in her hair, and as I pull her closer, she softly moans. Her arms circle my waist; as her skinys hot and heavy against me, she is melting into my body. After a few moments of silence, she kisses me again. It feels as if lightning strikes and the sky breaks open. She steals my breath away and gives it back. My breath hitch, and my body numb. As she runs her delicate fingers down my spine, the sensations that I feel sends a flush of heat to my core. She makes me believe that touching me so deeply that she desires to be with me in more ways than just the craving that flesh brings. That she epts that I am more than enough of what she needs. I lock my hands around her wrists and pin them above her head. She squirms and tries to release herself from my firm grip, but I am far stronger. I can see it is driving her crazy, and it mes the desire to take her. I lean in and kiss her, soft, slow; then Ipletely devour her. With my free hand, I start to explore her body. My god, she is firm but yet so soft. As I gently begin to caress her, she leans deeper into my touch. Her body is squirming as she quivers. As I let go of her hands, she grabs my hair and yanks me closer, taking my lips for hers to taste. Fuck I want her. I can feel the rush of arousal build up in my core. Strong lust and simple desire take control of my body and mind. For one brief moment, the words leave my lips in only but a soft whimper, ¡°I want you.¡± Then my tongue trails down to her belly; I run it over her navel. Tasting every inch of her glorious body. Moving down toward the stic of her panties. She gasps as I move my fingers down her hot, burning skin. She runs her hands through my thick dark brown hair; I growl deep from my chest and whisper. ¡°I want you. I want to be inside of you.¡± I can barely finish my sentence, and her lips crash against mine. Her soft lips move against mine. Then she kisses me hard. ¡°Oh god,¡± I moan into her mouth as her tongue grazes mine. I lose myselfpletely in the kiss, in the moment. My tongue finds the sensitive parts below her ear. The moan that escapes her lips awakens an even greater longing for her body and soul. The touch of her skin against my tongue sends a fiery passion throughout my core. I cannot keep my self-control any longer. It¡¯s like a battle raging inside of me as she makes my body quiver. Her hands unlock behind my neck, and they are moving all over. First down my shoulders, then down my chest, I can feel my heart pounding beneath my flesh. Her touch sends my blood racing as she moves further down to my waist. My body freezes, and for a moment, I stop breathing, and a growl escapes my lips. And the very moment that it escapes my lips, I stop. Fuck. She slides her hands through my hair and knots her fingers in it; she slowly pulls me closer to her, so close that our lips almost touch. Her sweetness attacks every corner of my senses. Just thinking of letting myself get lost in her sends a pure ache of craving to my very much throbbing erection. Her entire body quivers beneath me. ¡°Fuck, I want you.¡± She moans in my ear as her lips tremble, ¡°Then take me.¡± I press her back even further on the bed. She lets out another shattering moan. Every time I kiss her deeply, she makes the most glorious sounds, delicious noises of pleasure as I continue to plunder her with my tongue. Then I stop¡­yet again. ¡°Boo, this is not going to get you out of telling me. But nice try, and thank you for the hard-on.¡± She only but chuckles at me. I slowly make my way over to the shower, making agonizingly sure that she catches onest glimpse of me. With one rather satisfied yet still frustrated smirk on my face, I turn the water on before I step in. The water is running down my hair, all over my body. The droplets from the showerhead do nothing but entuate my strong shoulders, glistening off my arms and trickle down my sculpted chest. I watch as it travels down over my rippled abs and further to my semi-erect length. I grab a bath sponge andther it with body wash. I rub it down over my chest¡­my shoulders¡­my neck. I slide it over every inch of my toned body. I close my eyes and rinse the shampoo from my hair. Every second, every minute, my body is still raging. I can feel the tension build up; my semi-erect length is now full and throbbing. A throbbing I would love to conquer with. Once I am done, I wrap a towel around me and head back to my room to get dressed. I slide my toned legs into ck pair of jeans, a dark button-up shirt. In precisely twenty minutes, I make my way downstairs. Then there in the kitchen, Ana is waiting for me with breakfast already made. And this time, that goddamn look on her face is even worse than it was before. So I ignore her ¡®look,¡¯ and I slide in next to her, but then that is when I notice it. There is a white envelope lying on the table; just as I am about to reach for it, she ps my hand away. ¡°Boo, okay, seriously. What the fuck is in the envelope now?¡± She growls at me and my foul mouth, then, much to my surprise, she takes my hand gently in her, ¡°The Doctor gave me this; he said that we would be able to see the sex of the baby.¡± I watch as the tears start to tickle the corners of her eyes. ¡°I have not opened it yet. So this is my ¡®What is wrong face?¡¯ Do you want to know what our baby is going to be?¡± Chapter 147 Gravity Of Love Fate is what takes you down that road you ever so often avoid taking. Take, for instance, just sitting on a rock and minding your own business before aplete stranger appears out of nowhere. At the time, I had no idea that it was where I was supposed to be with whom I am meant to be, doing what I should be doing¡­ falling in love. I wish I could have med gravity, but the truth was I fell in love. I fell deeper and deeper until I reached the deepest point. In the middle of all my chaos, there she was. You can call it destiny, or you can call it fate; the point is you will fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. Now that unexpected love has brought us to this point where both our lives, our love, and our future depend on what will happen in the next minute. But I am frightened. ¡°Boo, is this what you really want? I thought that you wanted it to be a surprise?¡± She looks at me from underneath her thick eyshes, ¡°I can¡¯t make my mind up anymore. There are parts of me that want, and there are that don¡¯t.¡± And it is with this that I see the door of possibilities open, we can n properly, we know what we would be expecting and not be caught by surprise. I am, after all, a man who ns every step that he takes. I would like to see where I am going and how I am going to get there. Some say live life on a daily basis; I say there is no room for surprises and unexpected things. So I guess, ¡°I say, let us do it. Let us take that leap andplete our family before it has even started.¡± ¡°Are you sure, soldier? Won¡¯t you feel disappointed if it is not a boy?¡± ¡°Boo, girls can be Marines too.¡± And just as she is about to p me against this head that has been pped way too many times, I softlyce my fingers in her hand and lead her to the lounge. I pull her against the depths of my chest. I take in a deep breath and press her even deeper. ¡°Boo, we can do this.¡±Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. Instead of answering, she reaches out to me, putting her small, warm hand on the back of my neck. Then she kisses me, first lightly, then more urgent. Her hips are tilted against mine; her breasts are against my chest; her whole body is sending a message that is undeniable. Then she nibbles my ear, touching my face softly with her fingertips, and she whispers, ¡°I know we can, soldier.¡± While I take a seat on the couch, I cannot help keep in myughter as she struggles to take off her jersey. Watching as her hands travel up her body while she tries to lift it over her head, I see her exposed skin. ¡°Boo, let me help you.¡± Just the idea of seeing her naked has my heart racing, and it feels that I might have a heart attack. Every one of my senses is heightened. I continue to peel her out of her clothes until she is only wearing her bra and panties. They are a dark pink matching set, made mostly of sheerce. As I sit down, she ces both her hands on my legs and lowers herself onto myp, grazing my cock with herce-covered ass. My restraint snaps, and I wrap one arm around her waist and one around her chest, slipping my fingers under thece of her bra to find her nipple. My grip tightens, molding her onto my torso, and I press my lips to her shoulder. My hips jerk, pressing my erection onto herce bottoms. ¡°You knew this was going to happen.¡± I ran my tongue across her shoulder de. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about.¡± She kisses my lips and begins to trail kisses down my body. ¡°The matching sexy underwear¡­¡± ¡°Are they sexy?¡± She is on her knees between my thighs, tugging my pants down. ¡°They are.¡± Ice my fingers behind my head, not wanting to risk doing anything to make her stop. ¡°And you shaved.¡± She pauses and looks up at me through hershes. She shrugs and wraps her hand around my erection, moving it up and down in slow strokes. I groan and lean back. She smiles at me, ¡°Ssshhh, soldier.¡± She nces up at me once again, and she can see the arousal in my eyes as I stare down at her. I pull her hair slightly and urge her on. I press her down over the bulge of my shaft, and shees down over me, finding the very things that her lips are seeking for. By the time that she gently bites at me, I can see her starving for me. ¡°Slow down, boo,¡± I softly whisper at her as she takes me into her mouth and pulse just below my head, applying a hard pressure against her rigid tone and lips sucking hungrily. She looks up at me, and I say softly again, ¡°We have all the time in the world.¡± And, I can feel her sexual hunger, a pure, untainted desire to give me pleasure. But there is more; there is something more that I can sense. Her submission to my desire sparked her own arousal. I watch as she wets my entire erection with her pink tongue, ¡°Boo, god, I am want to fuck you.¡± Her velvety dark eyes are shining as she meets my eyes again. I winch in pleasure and throw my head back against the chair. I groan as she sucks me deep, and her throat tightens around my tip. Agonizing pleasure seizes me. I want her. Her small hand fists me tight as I grunt in pleasure; my need for her is roaring in my veins. Through the blur of my raging lust, her head is bobbing hard over myp, the friction of her taut lips is slowly sending me into oblivion as the pumping fist is killing me. Then I feel that familiar tingling in my balls; I urge her to go even harder. ¡°Fuck, I am going to cum.¡± Yet, she pumps even harder than before. I gasp at the sensation of her taking me deep once again, and my entire body begins to shudder. ¡°Aaahhh, fuck Ana, I am cuming.¡± The pleasure continues to wreck through my body as I cum over her tongue. She looks up at me with a satisfied smile. Then, I consume her mouth like a fire, my sleek tongue stroking the insides of her mouth, curling and entwining with her own. She lifts her body from between my legs, and Iy her down on the couch. She lets out a soft whimper. ¡°Ssshhh boo,¡± pulling her face-to-face again, I slide my hands between her legs, positioning my fingers and thumb. I nuzzle against her, my lips on her neck, nibbling and kissing her way up to her earlobe. ¡°God, soldier.¡± She sighs as I work my fingers against her slick seam, and in an instant, she loses her pose and loses herself in her own pleasure. I watch as she squeezes her eyes shut and mps her thighs against my wrist, snapping her hips up before she freezes. All her muscles contract against my fingers. I press her back even further on the chair and slide my tongue inside her. She lets out another shattering moan. Every time I hit the perfect spot, she makes the most glorious sounds, raw, intense, absolutely delicious noises of pleasure as I continue to plunder her with my tongue. She grabs my hair to even drive me in further. I keep thrusting into her, crooking my fingers, and hitting that perfect spot over and over again. Her moans be long, and she burst into a high-pitched orgasm for the second time. But I am not done. I drive inside to her once again, but this time I kiss and suck and worship every inch of her. I tease each of her nipples until they are hard and standing at attention. My tongue trails her belly, around her navel. Loving her. Tasting her. Moving down again, I meet her sweet clit that is begging for my touch. I swirl and swirl around, drinking her scent, drinking her reaction until I feel her tremble beneath me again. My sex is quivering; our bodies are quivering; there is nothing but tormented desire between us. I love being with her every minute and second of my day, sharing intimate moments, and loving each other in ways that can be described as made in heaven. Pleasing her and making her happy is the only driving force. As I move to kiss her again, I softly whisper in her ear, ¡°I love you. I love you so goddamn much. Now that was a weed distraction, but we are still opening that envelope.¡± Chapter 148 A Note To My Baby Bump Frustration is a feeling that one as a Marine experiences on a daily basis, yet you get frustrated because whatever you have nned has not gone the way it is intended. I know that sometimes I can be a bit hard on Ana with discipline, I would like to say that I am an easy-going, free man, yet I would be lying. Now, much to that very frustration, Ana has taken that little white envelope, and she has gone to take a nap. Now, can you only imagine the trickles of frustration that are boiling from my ears in utmost torture? I am starting to learn that the woman is doing it on purpose. So, I am being the patient man; well, I am trying to practice patience while she has her nap, and I have taken this time to add one to my collection of many that I have written to our unborn baby so far. I think if Ana finds the box, she will have a good oldugh. At least I am not calling her a big green truck, but I might have referred to her as ¡®Old Maggie.¡¯ That one might just be killed forter. So¡­I think this one counts as number five¡­ My dear unborn baby¡­ There are still a few months until we meet. I am writing this for you. Not for anyone else. For you knowing you were in my thoughts before I held you. And yes, I believe you are going to be a boy, unlike mom that wants you to be a girl. I¡¯ve been thinking about you a lot these days. As I rub your mom¡¯s stomach with coconut oil, I can feel your kick. And I hope that¡¯sing from curiosity and notanger. I wonder what the shape of your nose will be. What will make youugh and cry, and what your face will look like when you do. What foods you will like. What will be your favorite stained shirt you wear every day. If you will y drums or ride skateboards. The thought of you going through all your stages terrifies the shit out of me. So let me be honest by saying life is going to be hard. Your heart will be broken many times, as well as at least one bone in your body. For me, well, I have broken a few, but I broke them doing something I loved doing. You will too. The world will try to prove you wrong. And no matter how much your mother and I do for you, the world is the world. We can get you in the air, but you¡¯re going to have to learn how to fly on your own. There will be days you don¡¯t like yourself and days that you do. People will disappoint you. Many won¡¯t like you back. Some will be mean, and you won¡¯t understand why. You will be judged and gossiped about. And most likely have issues with your body. There will be things you don¡¯t like about me. We will have fights. You will be mad at me. I will hurt you. You will hurt me back. And some days, you may wonder who the parent is. I may have dropped you already or left you on the roof of the car with my coffee. I¡¯m sorry. It was never on purpose. You will m doors. I will make you talk. And you will hate me for it, but only in the beginning. We will y tug of war a lot. I can feel it already. But at the end of the day, you are my son, and I¡¯m your dad, and we will make it work. Not because of blood. But because we believe in good. And good meansforgiveness. Good meanspassion. Good means understanding. I will make youugh. Or die trying. With your mother¡¯s approval, I will take you on motorcycle rides when you¡¯re old enough. And for pancakes on Sunday. I will listen to you and not pretend. I will create the safest space I can. Try not to make things about me. Not treat you like a child unless you stay one. I will listen to your horrible music, partake in your activities, and make it to things you invite me to. I will throw the ball with you. I will be your friend as well as your dad. And you don¡¯t have a choice in that. We will go on trips. Do things that scare you in a good way. We will get dirty and y in the world. Experience weather. Pet animals. See good movies. I will listen to all your ideas because if you¡¯re like me, you will have many. In all these letters, I find myself imaginingthe dad I hope to bewhen you arrive. That dad I picture, he is a tall order, but although there¡¯s a whole lot Ican¡¯tn for, there are also some promises I vow to keep. I promise to begin and end your days with the reminder that I adore you. At night, you¡¯ll hear ¡°I love you¡± loud and clear, and I promise to wake you up each morning with a soft voice and a genuine smile, just the way my dad did with me. That might seem like a small thing, but trust me: it makes for a nice start to the day, and when you¡¯re a teenager, you¡¯ll be grateful that I¡¯m not shoving the curtains open and yelling for you to get up. When you try new things, I promise not to show you that I¡¯m a tiny bit or, more likely, very scared. Deep down, I might be worried or anxious or slightly terrified of what might happen if it doesn¡¯t work out for you, but I won¡¯t let my fears slow you down. I¡¯ll tell you to take chances, to go for it, to trust yourself. I promise to trust you. I promise to make your birthday a big damn deal. Whether you¡¯re turning 1 or 35, I promise balloons and streamers and surprise parties and the cakes of your choice. Some years you might love that, and other years it might feel sort of cheesy, but when you look back on birthdays past, I promise you¡¯ll know that you were celebrated by the people who cared about you most. If you mess up in a small way, I promise to acknowledge it, help you, then let it go. And whenever you mess up in a big way, I promise to feel the weight of it and push you to do the same. I promise to let you make those tough mistakes, to address them when I need to, and to keep on loving you all the same. When you have a bad day, I promise to listen. Or give you room to breathe, whatever seems best at the time. And when you get upset or angry or really, in-your-bones mad at me, I promise that I¡¯ll try to understand. I¡¯ll practice patience; I¡¯ll try, anyway. I promise to be honest with you, even when it¡¯s hard, but I also promise to protect you. When there¡¯s something you need to know, I¡¯ll tell it to you straight, and if it might do more harm than good, I¡¯ll keep it to myself. I promise that I¡¯ll try to recognize the difference. Speaking of difference, I promise to celebrate what makesyoudifferent. I promise to let your weirdness shine. I promise to mark the major moments as theye, to take pictures and fill out scrapbooks, and document the biggest milestones of your life. It¡¯s important to acknowledge the little things, too, so I¡¯ll do what my mom did, and at night, I¡¯ll ask you what you¡¯re grateful for. It¡¯ll give you perspective and a sense of calm. Hope, too. Mostly, sweet baby, I promise to show you love in all its best forms. I¡¯ll love you and your mom and our friends and our families. With words and with actions, I¡¯ll say it, and I¡¯ll show it, and if just one of my promises can be kept, let it be this: that you¡¯ll feel it. A love so big that it fills you up, that it makes you feel safe. But the best part, before I say goodbye for today, you will be a Marine just like your dad. You will be the greatest one, even better than me, and you are going to love it. But we first need to convince your mom about that. It will give you all those things up here; it will make you happy, it will show you that you matter, but most of all, it is going to make you a great man, and one day you will be a good day just like I will be to you. So it is time for me to say goodbye for now.All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. If I am ever not there, you may print this letter and use it against me. That¡¯s the other reason why I wrote it. So you can make me ountable. Because I will need help. Dad¡­ And as I am just about to fold it in a nice little square, I see Ana standing in the doorway; now I from the look on her face, it does seem that she has got up on the wrong side of the bed, though I just hush and wait for her to say what is on her mind. ¡°Soldier, did you open that envelope?¡± Chapter 149 Caught Red-Handed They say that happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn¡¯t know that you left open. Should this be said about fear? I wish I knew. All that I know is that changes are often very scary, especially if you do not know where you are heading. What else is scary is my wife-to-be, that is standing at the doorway, and she is not looking happy at all. Now I have learned, since these times that I have been home, that an angry pregnant woman is the worst that you can find. And I have just seemed to anger mine. So I am remaining quiet until she speaks first, but god, it is not speaking; it is the building of a great thunderstorm. With the rumble of her chest, there is aunch of words thate directly headed my way, ¡°Ethan, did you open that envelope?¡± ¡°Boo¡­¡± Ya, I cannot get in a word as sheshes out again, ¡°I am asking you a question? Did you open that envelope?¡± ¡°Boo¡­¡± Once again, I cannot get a word out as her anger only seems to build, ¡°I am asking you a fucking question? Did you open that envelope?¡± Well, now should I answer her question or tell her she is not allowed to swear in front of the baby. I am going to refrain from both, for she is about to toss what seems like a ss, and it sure seems that she is aiming it directly for my head. This is one crazy angry mommy in front of me. But she is not yet done, ¡°Ethan,¡± her voice raises with each syble, ¡°I ask you¡­¡± Now it is my time to interrupt her, ¡°But boo, I am trying to¡­¡± She still does not care for me to say one goddamnplete sentence. How the hell must I speak to her. Yet still, she carries on with her crazy rampage, ¡°I told you we are opening it together. But no, Ethan Hunter does whatever the fuck he wants. I asked you one simple thing, and you could not do it, can you? Why must I constantly have to check up on you and tell you what to do? You are a goddamn grown man.¡± ¡°But, boo¡­¡± ¡°Do not ¡®but boo¡¯ me; you only think of your goddamn self. Could you not wait for just one hour? I told you do not to open the fucking thing. I don¡¯t even know why the hell I keep up with your immature ass.¡± ¡°Boo¡­¡± ¡°Stop calling me fucking boo.¡± Well, my patience has now just run out, she is not giving me one minute to speak, and now she is starting to insult me where it truly is not necessary. So ya, I am standing face with a very angry woman that is not interested in listening to what I am trying to say. She has simply made up her mind that the piece of the envelope in my hand is the one she was given to by the Doctor. Does she honestly take me for that kind of man? Well, I have news for her, ¡°Think what the fuck you want to Ana, I did not open that envelope.¡± And that is yet another thing that I should not have said. ¡°Do you think for one minute that I believe a word you say? Lyinges too easily to a Marine.¡± ¡°You want the honest truth?¡± I pause as I see the expression on her face grows into shock, then I continue, ¡°I don¡¯t give a shit.¡± And that leaves my mouth far faster than what I can think, but I love Ana; one thing I do not love is how mean she gets, and she loses her temper. She does not seem to understand how much her words hurt a man. So, very shocked and furious as hell, she flings that goddamn ss in my direction, ¡°Is that going to be your answer?¡± ¡°You know what, Ana. I don¡¯t give a fuck anymore.¡± And that is me; my restraint snaps. ¡°You do not want to listen; you just want to stand and fight, and let us not forget how you try to hurt me. So carry on. You hurt me more than once and so incredibly deep I thought I would die.¡± She only but ignores a single word that I say; the fact is that Ana, even how much I fucking love her, she only does think of herself. I wish that she can just take a tiny bit of the pain that she has made me feel. Not just once but over and over again. They say that time heals all wounds; well, that is the biggest lie that someone has ever told. Time does not heal a wound; it covers them with a misty haze of new memories that make focusing on the wound like swimming through a murky river. You can still see it if you get close enough, and it¡¯s always so shocking when that happens because you never see iting. Ya, fuck, I never saw any of thising. Most of all, not Ana flinging a goddamn ss at me. Then, after a long silence, she speaks again, ¡°Give me one reason why I should not leave your ass?¡± ¡°If you asked me that an hour ago, I could have answered you, now, I don¡¯t give a fuck. Do whatever it is that you want because that is what you do in any case. You do what Ana wants, and if Ana does not get it, she throws a tantrum like a fucking child.¡± Well, perhaps I should not have said that, for she only steps two steps closer, and from deep in her belly, she growls, ¡°What the fuck makes you so much better?¡¯ ¡°I have never broken your heart. That is what makes me so much different from you. I still have nightmares. Even with all the time in between, I still cry every time I am visited by you in the weakness of night. Have you once but shed a single fucking tear?¡± ¡°What is there to cry about?¡± ¡°Precisely my point. And that is why I cannot tell you why you should not leave me.¡± What my rtionship with Ana did with me, it changed me; it showed me how to love and to change as a man, but she has also forever scarred me. One too many fights¡­one too many times that she has left. I am a different person since I have known her. She pushed me to the edge so many times that I have stop counting how many times I copsed. And so, as strong as it might be, I have more determination than before, ¡°You know that I hated you, each time you left, each time you hurt me, I really hated you. But I have realized that the more I hate you, the more you take a living piece of me.¡± ¡°Did you not for once thought that I was only doing what was best for us?¡± ¡°Ana, you are not a fucking child anymore. So stop acting like one and grow up.¡± ¡°Well, guess you are quite clear about your point.¡± ¡°Yes, I am clear about my point. I think I should have known in the beginning that this would never work. But do you know, I had the best times with you in the beginning, we were on the top, you made me the person that I wanted to be. I had a perfect life.¡± Then she goes and floors me with the most fucking stupid question I have heard so far, ¡°So what happened to us?¡± ¡°You. That is what happened to us. You kept on leaving, you kept on hurting me, then you wille back crawling, and I would forget that anything ever happened, but with just enough time, you did it again. Loyalty means fuck all to you.¡± Ya, I wish I can believe myself when I say that our rtionship was a mistake, but thest time she left me, that was just the tipping point. She did not have to say a word; it was the words unsaid that hurt the most. ¡°You make me out like I ruined your life.¡± ¡°Ana. You turned me into a monster all because I thought that I could not live without your love. ¡°But you broke me too.¡± ¡°Oh god, please tell me where and when?¡± She goes silent, and by her hesitation, I know that she has no idea of what she is saying. ¡°So,¡± I move only but one step away as she is about to throw a goddamnmp in my direction again. ¡°Ethan, I am just, I am so angry. You have no idea how much pain you have caused me. You could have fucking waited for me.¡± ¡°And you have no idea how much pain you have caused me over and over again. I don¡¯t understand how your brain works. You can cause so much pain, but I would still want to be with you. I used to seek your approval. I used to do everything for you. I will never do that again. You do note into my thoughts any longer. You are not a part of me, and you never will be again. It is sad to let the fun memories go, but they were tossed out a while ago.¡± ¡°It is not the same, and you know it. You have no idea what you are talking about.¡± ¡°I am dead because of you. You think the world only revolves around you, and I am sure that is still true. I do not think that you can change that about a person. I do not believe that you will ever be able to change. But I hope you do. I hope other people do not have to experience what I had to. I would never wish for my worst enemy to be treated the way you treated me.¡±N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. Ya, I am hard on her and perhaps just in damn nasty. But should I forgive her? Well, let me think about that¡­ ¡°Ana, you took my soul. You took my entire life. You took my happiness and my will to be alive. But everyone makes mistakes. You were my mistake. I have forgiven you. Can you fucking forgive me?¡± And with that, as thatmpes flying past my head, I hand her the envelope. Chapter 150 The Object Of Our Fury ¡­Ana POV¡­ I have never felt such extreme anger towards a single soul in my life before. To say that my heart is not raging with towards Ethan hatred would be a lie. Did I love this man before? If you ask me now, then I would say no. I feel betrayed, and god knows I feel hurt. The pain that he has inflicted on me is one that you can never forgive. How can he dare open the envelope without me? How can he do this to me? Can I even dare to say do this to us?¡± What us? There is no such thing. I hate the man. Yet this man thinks that he can underestimate me; it only takes me but a snap of my control and I pull him back, ¡°Oh no, you are not going anywhere. Exin yourself? ¡°Ana, I am not in the mood for this, you have clear lost your mind and now I am on your attacking end.¡± Oh no, he just did not call me that, ¡°I have not lost my fucking mouth¡­¡± ¡°Oh, ya that you have lost as well.¡± I only but grunt at him, he is such a fool. Why does it seem around every corner he just disappoints me. He can hardly be a goddamn boyfriend, how is he going to be a husband. But¡­rather I will not say that. It is bad enough that he wants to run off again, but he cannot keep a simple envelop closed for an hour. ¡°Can you not just listen for one goddamn hour?¡± ¡°Well,¡± he snaps back at me, ¡°You can listen for one damn second.¡± That kind of put a hurt in my sting. He seems to fail to notice that I, too, have feelings. Yes, perhaps, he did not take this quite as seriously as he should, but should I really be so mean to him when he was only excited. Fuck that! ¡°Do you know what, Ethan?¡± ¡°No, but please enlighten me since you have had a spark in that dense brain of yours.¡± ¡°I feel pathetic because I let you break my heart; I hate that I ever gave it to you in the first ce. I trusted you with it; I was only something that was convenient.¡± ¡°My, god.¡± His voicees rumble from across the room. ¡°You did not just say that? Let me refresh your memory. First, you don¡¯t have a fucking heart, and never once were you something that was convenient. So don¡¯t bullshit me.¡± This man is pissing me off; he has not had one good thing to say about me since I walked through the door. Well, perhaps it is because I have also not. Yet¡­ He looks at me and only shakes his head, ¡°If I broke your heart so badly, Ana. If I were only a convenience to me, then please tell me why the fuck are you still wearing my ring?¡± Fuck¡­ ¡°Whatever, it does not matter. I will never, and god, I will say never ever forgive you for what you did to me. Yes, so I broke your heart, but you could have fucking waited.¡± ¡°Perhaps you should shut up for one second and listen me.¡± My fury is burning out of control; I cannot believe this man hates me so much. Guess I am eventually going to have to realize that this was nothing but an experience that I will write off as gone wrong. It was a game, I mean, it was fun, we had a great time together, then all these fucking feelings had toe into the way andplicate a whole bunch of shit. In a way, he has been nothing but there for me. But the fact is that I am not going to forgive him. The bigger question. ¡°Give me one reason why I should forgive you.¡± ¡°Oh, don¡¯t worry, that is not going to happen. I can start with a few, but I will not beg for forgiveness.¡± Well, that you should just not have said. ¡°You know what pisses me off about you, Ethan? You are always right, and I am not being ugly about it; you are, in fact, always right.¡± I stop and pause for a moment as my voice hitch a fraction, ¡°It does not change the fact that you opened the envelope.¡± ¡°Ana, if you do not want to listen to me, then let me go.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t give two shits about your excuses; you still don¡¯t fucking do it. But do you know what pisses me off about you? ¡°No, please do tell me?¡± ¡°It feels like we are going around in circles. I hate you for opening the envelope, and you hate me for breaking your heart. So how do you intend we resolve this problem?¡± ¡°I am d to see that our rtionship was a problem to you, Ana. Please, just tell me that you actually don¡¯t give a shit about me.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t give a shit about you, Ethan.¡± Ouch, that one is going to hurt. The thing is, do I really mean it or not? I am so messed up at the moment; all I see is the anger that is clouding my mind. I want to feel nothing but hatred towards him. There where he is standing, being so fucking sexy as ever; he knows I love those goddamn jeans, yet I know he is not wearing them for me. Fuck. This is a mess. I guess this is just one of those facts; there is always going to be sadness and pain. And then after, you will find consequences that shall lead to even for sadness and pain. Guess, then, ¡°Yes, you are right about one thing, Ethan. Maybe our rtionship is a problem. Guess perhaps we were never supposed to be together from the start?¡± ¡°Well, from where I am standing now, it would have worked out pretty fine. But as you said, you hate me for opening a goddamn envelope, while I hate you for breaking my heart.¡± ¡°Are you really that mad at me?¡± ¡°Oh, Ana. Do not underestimate the determination of a man that is scorned. Contrary to what you think, I have a heart, probably, in fact, far bigger than yours. You have hurt me so much that the hate I feel for you consumes everything in my being. But do you know the fucked up thing about all of this, tomorrow I might love you again? Then I am fucked all over again. So yes, I am mad at you.¡± ¡°You know that hate only makes the heart bitter.¡± ¡°Then you should know because yours are filled with it.¡± Maybe I should think about this situation. And as I look at him, there is that face that I know I did love, perhaps not as much as he did me, but I know, now, after seeing all this hatred, that I did feel something for him. But there is only one emotion left, and I don¡¯t care if I leave with a bitter heart here; at least it would not be hatred. But he is still as furious as ever as he speaks next,¡°You know what Ana? I¡¯m so tired of feeling sick and tired. Sitting on hope that isn¡¯t there. Thinking about how things could¡¯ve been for us. I want to get past this endless maze. I feel fucking trapped.¡± ¡°Then go, I am not holding you back.¡± ¡°Well, fuck you, Ana. What about my child? I have a life, and it is time for me to take control of that life and stop being yed like a game. I let it slide too long. You told me what I wanted to hear, just to keep me interested, to keep me going. I was so stupid to think that my future had you in it. I kind of believe it once in a while still, but it is getting so faint.¡± ¡°Fine Ethan. I¡¯m tired of beating myself up. It is what it is. You got a life you going to do what you want to do with it. I can¡¯t change your mind about anything anymore. And same to me if you think you¡¯ll have any control over me.¡± I think I should just move on. I don¡¯t think that I ever was really trying and that is so unfair on him, but perhaps this is only my emotions that are ying on me. I really know that there was a future, sometimes I was just not listening, I guess. So with his eyes wide and somewhat sparkling, he grows one of those cocky smiles on his face, ¡°Ana, my biggest mistake was not that I gave you my heart; my biggest mistake was that I told you that I loved you. But even bigger than that was when I thought that you would mean that back.¡± ¡°I would love to want to tell you that I am sorry.¡± ¡°Well, Ana, I suggest strongly that you open that envelope.¡± And with that, I flip the envelope open and slide the piece of paper out, it only takes me one second to realize.All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. Chapter 151 Heated Moments Of Anger Sometimes you say things in the heat of an argument, yet they say that it is when you actually mean something. I have repeatedly told Ana that I hated her. Hate is such a strong word; I cannot even at this present moment of still being angry tell you if I meant it. Though she has, in turn, said some nasty things that were rather hurtful. Did she mean them? Or is it just those heated words thate from an argument? Whichever way, I don¡¯t know how our rtionship will be now. Yes, she is standing with that envelop that I so wish to tear up. She has just realized that she lost her temper overplete nothing. Yet, she has not apologized. What have we be? So I only push past her and head to the room, but she calls me back, ¡°I am sorry, Ethan.¡± ¡°Ana, it is maybe a little bit toote for that.¡± She only but drops her head, and I can hear the tiny sobsing from underneath strained breaths. Now, do I hold her or just continue to walk away? ¡°Ana, please don¡¯t cry,¡± yet I do not go any closer as I speak to her. ¡°I don¡¯t want you to upset the baby.¡± ¡°Well,¡± she snaps at me, ¡°I think that it is maybe a little bit toote for that too.¡± ¡°Oh, god, please don¡¯t tell me that you are going to start again?¡± ¡°Ethan, I just¡­¡± Immediately I interrupt her, I have no idea what she is about to say, but still, I continue, ¡°I know that you are sorry. Just forget about it.¡± Though I am not telling her to forget about the fight or the things that we said, I just don¡¯t want her to apologize if she is not even sure what she is apologizing for. The fact remains that our rtionship is lying in tatters, and I don¡¯t know if we even know how to fix the damage that has been done. So as I am yet again on my way to leave, I find that strength and try to let go of the hurt. One thing that I cannot bear seeing is a woman cry; whether it is Ana or my mom, it breaks my heart to see someone else in pain. I guess the only thing that we need now is distance. But can we at least salvage one thing between all the pieces that are scattered? With that, I enter the room and find the very thing that we have been fighting about on the dressing table. Not that I think it will heal the wounds; at least there can be one spark of hope injected back into our lives. Taking one deep breath, I find Ana as she is sitting in the lounge, reading the letter that I wrote to our unborn child. As she sees meing to sit next to her, there is a shy smile on her face, ¡°Did you write this?¡± ¡°Yes, I have been writing them for a while now.¡± She looks at me surprised, then I watch as her eyes grow wide, ¡°Is this that shoebox that you have been hiding in the closet?¡± Then for the first time in the past hour, I burst out inughter, ¡°I thought you would have looked inside it a long time ago?¡± ¡°I thought it was just one of your service guns?¡± ¡°Boo, do you really think I keep my guns in the closet?¡± Immediately I realize what I have said, so I move a few inches away, handing her the real envelope. ¡°Do you want to see what we are having?¡± ¡°But,¡± she mumbles as she is about to burst into tears again. ¡°We just had¡­¡± I stop her from talking and lie my hand gently on her leg, there is a slight jerk as she does not know how to react, so I take my hand away and softly speak to her, ¡°We can talk about it. But I think that whatever we decide, that there is some serious fixing that needs to be done in our rtionship.¡± She only nods at me, and with a gentle tug, she shows for me to go ahead and open the envelope. The anticipation is so great that I cannot but help to shake. My wordse out as they stumble over my lips, ¡°Are you ready for it?¡± She just chuckles, ¡°You make it sounds as if we are about to win the lottery.¡± ¡°Hey, we are; we are getting a little something special.¡± So with what seems like slow ticking seconds, I pull the photo from the goddamn white envelope. I think I am going to hate white envelopes for a long time toe. I don¡¯t know if I will even continue writing the letters. With little less than three months to go, it feels like it is nearly around the corner. However, it felt like it is the only bond that I had. But putting that aside. I have the smooth thick paper, the photo that will reveal the sex of our baby within my fingers. It is like having the power to decide that in the next minute, I will reveal who is the little bump is that has been growing in mommy¡¯s belly. Now, as I nce at this thing, I can only see a cloudy image, and in the center is our little bump, well not so little anymore, but I have no idea how we are going to tell if it is a boy or a girl. Guess that Ana has got that all covered. So leaning closer, she takes the one side; her hands are shaking even worse than mine. Then I hear her stutter, or is she giggling? Whatever sound ising from those cherry lips tells me that she has exactly an idea what the hell is going on with this little paper. Then she looks at me, ¡°You have no idea, do you?¡± ¡°Well, tell me where to look, and I will give you an idea.¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. With that, she points to an exact spot on the photo, it only takes me but five seconds, and I have a clear image in my head. There is one satisfied smile that grows on my face, then sheughs in pure pleasure, ¡°So you have won, guess you have been writing your letters to the right little bump.¡± I only but shake my head at her, ¡°Little bump needs a name now.¡± And then, for a short while, we feel happy again; the excitement of the big reveal has brought us closer, though it will be only short-lived. Chapter 152 No More Do-Overs ¡­Ana POV¡­ Things have not gone back to normal like I hoped they would after our fight over a damn white envelope. Ethan has been sleeping in the guest room, and we are hardly in the same room together for five minutes. He has been spending a lot of time in the nursery, and then on an odd day, he will be out with Gibbs or checking up on Matty. He tries his very best to avoid me and any questions regarding the outfall. I know he said that we would talk about it, but he has not attempted to try. I guess I will just have to give him the space that he needs. Ethan can be a stubborn man, so I am looking at this being a fight that will still be out in the air for some time. Ethan is taking me to the Doctor today. We are going for my check-up. The time is creeping around the corner now; I only have fifteen weeks to go. Ethan has stopped rubbing my belly; I used to love it so much. To think a stupid envelope has not broken us up as a couple, but that he has stopped doing the things that he loved the most, of being an expecting dad. So it is with great difficulty that I am finding something to wear. Even though I do not keep much in these days, I have grown rather bigger than what Ethan likes to refer to as a truck. This rules out the option of trying to fit into one of my favorite skinny jeanspletely out. With much frustration, I slip on my very favorite dress and meet up with Ethan that is patiently jumping out of his skin. ¡°Come, we arete.¡± And that is the extent of our conversation as we head out the door. It is what seems like an endless half an hour that we are finally at the hospital, walking down that corridor that feels as if it has be a second home. As we get to Doctor¡¯s room, he is already standing waiting for us. ¡°Morning Ana, Ethan. Come right through; I am excited to see how the little one is doing.¡± I know he is hiding the fact that he is concerned about me, so I only but brush this off as I follow him inside the examination rooms. While Ethan sits patiently in the corner chair, I quickly change into that awful gown that, for the life of me, I still don¡¯t understand how to wear. Ethan then helps me on the bed, and we wait for the Doctor. Ethan does not take my hand; all he does is speak under his breath. ¡°Everything is fine.¡± I know that he is right, but yet there will always be a fear. I only but give him half a shy smile; I am so scared; in fact, I am near to damn terrified. All I want is to hear that little heartbeat; even if I don¡¯t get to see him today, all I want to hear is that little heartbeat. So the Doctores to sit next to me and take my hand, ¡°Are you ready?¡± ¡°Please, Doctor, just tell me that my baby is fine.¡± He goes to pull my gown away to show my big baby bump that is growing far bigger than what we all expected it to be. I watch in anticipation as he puts the gell that is freezing to the touch over my tummy and rubs that funny-looking stick thing over the edges and inside of my bump. My body shivers, but it is pure shivers of joy. Then we wait. And it seems like we are waiting for almost forever. But then we see it, and god, is it the most beautiful thing that I have seen in my life. There he is. Our big baby boy. And his little heart is beating at a perfect hum. Our little baby is fine, he looks very healthy, and he is fine. The tears that have been overwhelming me start to consume my eyese rushing like a raging river down my cheeks. Ethan leans forward and gives me a gentle squeeze on the hand ¡°I told you that you are doing fine. I told you that you both are doing fine.¡± With that, the Doctor steps outside the room to give Ethan and me the time alone. The only thing that I can think of is how thankful I am that his heart beats and that he is growing inside me. So after a very few moments alone, the Doctor returns to print us a little photo, and we soon find ourselves on our way, not having to think of anything else but our beautiful baby now. The drive back home is quiet, though, but in our hearts, we are happy. Iy with his little picture in my hand and do not for one minute let go. With the sun on my face and the wind in my hair, I am thankful for the few peaceful moments in this chaotic life. It¡¯s amazing to have a human life developing inside of me; there is just no other way to put it. It¡¯s the most simple and yetplex miracle there is. It¡¯s not easy by any stretch, not physically, mentally, or emotionally, but miracles probably shouldn¡¯t be. He was never part of any n, nor did he arrive at some premeditated moment in my life, but I can¡¯t imagine a more perfect way for him toe into it. Not being the most structured person, I probably wouldn¡¯t have ever gotten around to feeling ¡°ready¡± for him. I can¡¯t think of many things in my life I did feel ready for when they happened. But seeing now that every step along the way brings him closer to me, perfect, unique, extraordinary, makes it all seem right. He has already given my life a purpose beyond what I could ever have imagined. My day rises and sets with him. I am thankful for him giving me the greatest purpose in my life and being my proudest achievement. I am grateful to him for healing my heart from a lifetime of heartbreaks, for revealing not only my strengths but also teaching me humility, for showing me how to have faith and ask for help when I am not strong. For helping me live my best life and grow into the best version of myself, I can be.All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. And after what seems like endless hours of silence, Ethan finally speaks, ¡°I think we probably need to talk about that fight.¡¯ I hesitate for but a moment as I do not want him to do something that he does not feelfortable with. Yet, I continue, ¡°I guess we have.¡± So as we finally pull up in the driveway at home, he follows me inside and we take a seat in the lounge. Much to my heartbreak, he takes a seat on the far opposite end, not nearly even being close to me. Then he starts to speak. ¡°I guess it would be foolish to say that we are sorry for the things that we said when I believe that, in fact, that we have probably meant every word of it.¡± He pauses for a brief moment while he gathers himself, ¡°I know I said that I hated you, but hate is such a strong word. Though I am not going to sit and pretend that I truly do not like what you can be and what you have done to me.¡± With one single blow, he knocks all the air out of my lungs, leaving me breathless. How do I evene back from that? Guess honesty is what he wants? Well, ¡°I guess, let me rather rephrase that you are a man than can be selfish and set in your ways. And, perhaps, I have not taken our love as serious as I should have had.¡± ¡°See,¡± he starts to exin, ¡°That is the difference between you and me, I take this seriously, but I cannot take you seriously if you are not serious about me. We are having a child together. Is that all that it is going to be?¡± I only but shake my head at him, ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Are we just going to be that couple that has a child together, for I don¡¯t want to marry you just because of the sake of a child? My child is the only thing that matters to me, but I don¡¯t want to be with a woman that hates me. I am not going to be in a forced marriage.¡± I look at him for a minute or say, trying to take in where this all is leading up to, I can only see one way that he is going with this. So I only but shake my head at him, knowing that I am probably going to piss him off, ¡°Is this why you have not set a wedding date?¡± ¡°Just leave it.¡± ¡°Leave what, Ethan?¡± ¡°This entire fight, this rtionship. There was a time when I thought our love would stand the test of time and nothing coulde between us. Unfortunately, there is nothing left to hold on to. It should be clear to both of us by now that we are fighting a losing battle.¡± The tears are building but a mere trickle in the corners of my eyes, ¡°How many times have we said we have had enough and never wanted to see each other again, only to kiss and make up, then try again?¡± ¡°Yes, because you fucking leave, and thene crawling back into my bed. Well, someone has to be the one to say enough is enough, and I am doing it now or ever again.¡± I¡¯ve finally realized something: we¡¯re just not right for each other; we¡¯re just notpatible. I think that thest time I left just proved it. I suppose that we just never were really meant to be together. So I¡¯m done this time. I¡¯ve made up my mind. I am getting off this roller coaster ride once and for all. ¡°Ana, we still have an opportunity to part quietly and with dignity, and I think we should take it now.¡± Chapter 153 Time For Moving On I watched Ana¡¯s back for the final time as she walked out that door. That was three days ago. She walked out on me before I could tell her what the only thing that is best for us to do with our rtionship was. She did not give me a chance, not a second¡­she just walked out that door. Today, I am still a fucking mess, and god knows I think that I will still be one for a while. The fact is that I cannot keep living in the vicious circle of absolute torture. There is nothing¡­between us, only spaces of emptiness and nothing. There was love¡­once, yet there was none; as for feeling, what parts existed? What parts of us existed? The thing with moving on is you will be stuck there for a while. You will be moving, yet you will still be stuck in the memory, in the moments. So are you truly moving on? I say it is bullshit. But I cannot be that man that is going to climb into a deep abyss and sit in my own misery wondering what went wrong. I have a new role in fulfilling. Not only am I Ethan Hunter the Marine, but I Ethan Hunter a father, and both of these men will not let women ruin their lives and kick them down. I am getting off this fucking floor where I have been wallowing for thest three days, and I am iming back my life. So it is with a fairly surprised face that Gibbs and Matty see me enter the kitchen, dressed and ready to go, well, not sure where yet, but at least I am off that goddamn bed. And Gibbs, being just as goddamn happy, hands me a warm cup of coffee, and just for that extra bit of motivation, he tops it off with a top of whiskey, As he hands it to me, he only but smiles, ¡°You look like shit.¡± ¡°Ya, like you look any better. What did you boys get up tost night?¡± Well, I need not even have to ask for nextes to petite blondes entering the kitchen. Then as Matty leans in, he softly whispers, ¡°We were going to bring you one, but Gibbs reckon you will either shoot her or us.¡± ¡°You damn fucking right. Now get rid of the bitches; we have some work to do today.¡± Ya, about that. Gibbs only looks at me with wide eyes; if anyone knows me best, then it is this man with the spiky hair and deep brown eyes. He only but shakes his head and warns me firmly, ¡°Don¡¯t go there, Ethan.¡± ¡°I am going to,¡± I stop to take a sip from the cup in my hands, raising my brow at him with a cheeky smile, I inform him, ¡°And you areing with.¡± He only but shakes his head as he drops it in his hand; with one firm squeeze on the bridge of his nose, he looks up at me and asks, ¡°Why? What else do you want?¡±All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°You see, Gibbs, the thing I have realized is that I made mistakes, and I made them a multiple of times. I thought that she was the one, and perhaps some parts of me still think that she is.¡± ¡°Ethan, as a friend, I am asking you, do not fucking do this.¡± I raise my hand to show for him to remain quiet as I continue with a firm voice, ¡°If I think back now, as I have for the past three fucking days, I know that I could have done things differently.¡± ¡°But,¡± Gibbs interrupts and makes sure to step backward, for he knows that I will fucking punch him. ¡°What difference is it going to make now?¡± ¡°Fuck all, the past happened, but the thing is that the future can change.¡± ¡°Then,¡± Gibbs again. ¡°What else do you want?¡± I look at him with that newfound determination that is going to get me burned. But the fact is that Ana and I have broken up. It is over; we are single and are to do whatever it is that we want. I would love to think that maybe I would stop hating her, and we could get back together. But¡­ Not the fuck. I have lost a piece of myself, and hopefully, maybe one day, she will go through the same pain. She would lose something that was good in her life. But it is time for me to stop and step into reality and stop putting little ice princess on a goddamn throne. So, ¡°Yes, there is something else that I want.¡± And Gibbs only but shakes his head at me again; with one big gulp of his coffee, Matty joins his side, then he nods his head at me to continue. ¡°Ana Stone means nothing to me anymore. Do I still love her? Do I actually care? There will be many unanswered questions thate in the days to follow. One thing is, I want fucking nothing to do with her, but I want only one thing from her.¡± ¡°Well,¡± Matty shrugs his shoulder, ¡°What else do you want?¡± With utmost frustration that these two only think that I want Ana back, I spin on my heels and head out the kitchen but not before Gibbs calls me back, ¡°Where are you going now?¡± I look at him, giving him a good once over; as I wave over his dress choice for today, I only but utter two words, ¡°The Raiders.¡± With that, his eyes grow even wider than what it was a few minutes ago; I guess he has juste to realize what it is that I am after. Ya, I am getting my fingers burnt, but hey¡­ Who gives a fuck? Ethan Hunter? Ana Jenkins did not give one flying fuck. I have one message for her, and I hope where she is sitting on her little throne, that she knows that it has just be a whole lot of dark out there for her. She best takes that perky little ass, and she better go hide it in a corner, for I am not done with her yet. She is not done with me yet. She has not finished ruining my fucking life. When I stepped out of this room only but a few hours ago, my resolve was clear¡­ I moved on. Now I am stuck in that abyss that I was falling. I¡¯m so tired of feeling sick and tired. Sitting on hope that isn¡¯t there. Thinking about how things could¡¯ve been for us. I want to get past this endless maze. She has me trapped. That goddam cage I built where she is supposed to be stuck in my heart, the moment I had that determination to get up and move on, she pulled me back and told, ¡°Oh, this is not over.¡± Well, fuck you, Ana Stone, I have a life, and it is time for me to take control of that life and stop being yed like a game. I let it slide too long. You told me what I wanted to hear, just to keep me interested, to keep me going. I was so stupid to think that my future had you in it. I kind of believe it once in a while still, but it is getting so faint. You tell me what I want to hear, just to keep me interested, to keep me going. I was so stupid to think that my future had you in it. I kind of believe it once in a while, but it is getting so faint. I WANT NOTHING TO FUCKING DO WITH YOU. I¡¯m tired of beating myself up. It is what it is. You got a life you going to do what you want to do with it. I can¡¯t change your mind about anything anymore. And same to me if you think you¡¯ll have any control over me, Nah. I should move on. I wasn¡¯t trying; I just disagreed and kept my hopes high. Really knowing deep inside that there isn¡¯t a damn future. I just liked hearing it, I guess? So, you, Ana¡­This shit is over cause now I¡¯m trying to move on. But, my little ice princess, I hope where you are that you are safe; I hope that you have had the sense to protect yourself better than I could ever protect you. Make sure that you are safely guarded, that there is no shadow lurking in the corners, that there are no monsters in your closet. I hope that you are enjoying your life, that your days are filled with all those fucked it shit you always used to keep yourself upied with. And then when nightes around, I hope that you sleep sound and safe. I wish you all the things that you never gave me. But one thing I do wish you the most, I wish you feel the fear. I hope you feel struck by pain and hurt, and when the nightes to overwhelm you when you seek the warmth of someone¡¯s arms, I hope that you find yourself alone. So my little ice princess, keep warm, for one day I aming back for you. Chapter 154 A Sad Goodbye I am lying in bed early morning; the sun has just started to trickle over the horizon. The fresh breeze from the open window is lying cool against my skin. Yet, the bed remains warm, only on the side where I sleep. The rest of the spaces are empty as it has been for the past three days. I have not heard of less even seen Ana. Yes, I am somewhat nervous and worried about where she finds herself, but I know that she would have gotten someone to phone if she was in trouble. I do not even have an idea where she is. Does this bug me? Well, of course, it does, yet it is not going to change a thing that I am still furious with her. I rather only but shake my head to get the images and words out of my mind. I do not wish for it to linger. The less I see her at present, the better. But see is not the problem, for next, I see a calling through as my phone lights up. It is Ana. So not knowing if I should feel excited or annoyed, I answer the call, ¡°Yes, Ana. Have you finally remember where you live?¡± ¡°Ethan, please do not start your shit again. I am phoning to ask for help. ¡°Ah, is that the only time you care? When you need something?¡± I listen as she huffs and grunts at me on the other side, ¡°Ugh, you are being an asshole so early in the morning. Can we just forget about this goddamn failed rtionship and talk like two friends.¡± ¡°No, you know what I havee to realize thesest few days while I wallowed in my own goddamn misery?¡± ¡°No, and I don¡¯t know why we have to discuss this again?¡±Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Because I want you to listen until it sinks into your fucking head. The fact is that you were never mine, to begin with; I do realize that now. But I let you in whenever you needed or wanted me to be there. I should not have, but I did.¡± I pause for a breath moment as I listen to the irritation in her breathing begin to rise, yet I do not give a shit. For I only continue, ¡°I chose to be with you not because I was desperate because something in me could never stop caring and loving for you or even more, that I needed you. Yes, I needed you; I needed you to love me.¡± The goddamn woman needs to go a chuckle, that sound out her mouth, you, just as that mouth itself is like a sweetness that fills you up. Why the fuck am I still on this call? She has me in tatters, and now she has done it all over again. ¡°Ana, I can no longer be your doormat. I fell in love with everything about you, except for the way you treated me; how is that even possible. When we were together, I felt like I had tunnel vision. I was so focused on you and everything you had to say. The way you smiled at me, god, your smile melted me.¡± She wants to talk, but I hear her sigh as she lets me carry on speaking, ¡°I told myself every time you left, I wouldn¡¯t let this happen again. Then I would get a text from you, and my heart would melt. I never had to think about it. I knew I wanted to see you. I wanted that time with you. But every time you left, you made it clear I was yourst thought or not never a thought at all.¡± ¡°Ethan. We would have never worked.¡± And for one brief while, as she pauses, I could almost say that she is crying. Yet, ¡°We could not work then; what makes you think it will work again?¡± ¡°You know what, Ana. This¡­us¡­I don¡¯t deserve this, and I never did. When you phoned, I will be honest, it did give me some hope, but I cannot fight this battle with you anymore. I cannot fight to have you around. I cannot fight to see you. And least of all, I cannot fight for someone that will not fight for me.¡± ¡°Ethan, please.¡± ¡°No, Ana. This ¡®thing¡¯ is toxic. I want to believe you didn¡¯t know you were hurting me, but I think you did. I don¡¯t hate you, but I love myself too much to keep trying to love you. It¡¯s time to let go of the woman I fell in love with but didn¡¯t love me.¡± With that, I hear her burst out in tears as I drop the phone, well, more like toss it to the other side of the room. Much annoyed self, I go to the lounge. Okay, yes, what did she needed help with? Can the person she is with not do this for her? Ya, I am being unreasonable, but who truly gives two shits. So I sit down with a goddamn beer at eight in the morning, now if Ana were here, I would be dead, but she is not, and that is why I have another half an hourter again. And after that, one more and even after that again. So going well on my way to being drunk at ten in the morning, I scratch around for my box with the letters to my boy. After finding the pen and the book, I decide to put down the final words I will ever tell Ana. I have decided I am now leaving her for good this time. She cannot tell me she loves me, and I cannot live with someone that does not care. ¡°Dear Ana, I still call you my girlfriend, but you are my ex now, even though I can¡¯t seem to get used to calling you that. Do you know how badly you hurt me? I cried so much because of you, and you didn¡¯t care about my tears. You just kept hurting me with your words and your actions. Did you ever truly love me? Maybe you did, but I felt that love only on rare asions. What I am sure of, however, is how much I loved you. You were everything to me, and you meant to me more than anything or anyone ever did. I loved youmore than I loved myself, and that is why you got the chance to hurt me so much. You were bad for me, and I knew that, but I just kept ignoring it. I guess I always thought I could change you, but the opposite happened because you changed me. Maybe you didn¡¯t mean to turn me into a desperate man who was ready to beg for love, and you did actually want to turn me into someone better, but it means that you didn¡¯t love me for who I am. You never saw the best in me, you only saw the worst, and you made sure I saw that too. Soon, it was the only thing I saw in me. It made me depressed and broken, but I kept hoping I¡¯d earn your love one day. Did I ever get close? How you treated me throughout our rtionship was how you hurt me the most. You convinced me that I was worthless and that no one else would ever love me. I was never good enough for you, no matter how hard I tried. Why were you with me, then? You never could exin that part. It made me think you felt sorry for me because you were so good at making me feel unworthy of love. I know that you know now how wrong you were. You have seen how happy I am now that I¡¯ve finally gotten over you. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I did it. You no longer have a ce in my heart, and I¡¯ve let go of the past. I have a future now, which is something I never felt like I had when I was with you. We always lived a day at a time, never knowing if the next one we¡¯d still be together. It was your choice that we lived that way, not mine. I never wished for you to be unhappy, not when I was with you, not when we broke up, and not now that I¡¯m over you. I guess I somehow still wish that you could change. Maybe you even have now¡­ But I can see that you¡¯re unhappy. You don¡¯t have someone to love you, and it will be impossible to find someone who¡¯ll love you as much as I did. I¡¯m sorry about that. You lost your chance with me, and you¡¯ll never get another one, but I wish there were someone who would take care of you. I¡¯m not going to do that, not anymore, but someone has to. The reason you made me suffer so much is that you¡¯re the one who¡¯s suffering. Maybe you¡¯re not aware of that yet, or maybe you finally are, but you¡¯ve been hurting yourself too. I started this letter by telling you how much you hurt me, but it doesn¡¯t mean you¡¯re bad. Good people do bad things, and most of the time, it¡¯s because someone had done bad things to do them. Maybe I¡¯m mistaken, and you simply are a bad person, but I choose to believe that you¡¯re not. That is why I think you might be hurting now and that you might feel bad about hurting me so much. So, I¡¯m writing you this letter to forgive you. I forgive you for hurting me, and I want you to forgive yourself for all the bad things you¡¯ve done. You need to love yourself like I learned to love myself again, and maybe then you¡¯ll finally be able to love someone else too. I can¡¯t love you anymore. You are forgiven for everything you did, and I am trying to forget it too. That¡¯s another reason why I¡¯m writing this letter to you. I want all the hurt you caused me to be written here and stay here. The words should soak the pain in, so I can finally truly move on like nothing ever happened, and I want you to do the same. Give yourself a fresh start, and start a new life, leaving the baggage behind. I know I¡¯m about to do that. You were the woman who hurt me the most, and I forgive you for it. The past is behind us, and I hope your future looks as bright as mine does, now that I¡¯m saying goodbye to all that baggage and goodbye to you ¨C the woman who hurt me the most and, at the same time, the woman I loved the most. Bye.¡± But just as I am about to put it in an envelope and leave the room, the front door swings wide open. Chapter 155 One Last Time Some people just do not seem to know how to knock; now they can be d they are who they are, for I would haveid my shit down on them in a second. My mood is at an all-time high inplete irritation, mainly with myself for being the wreck I am today. I have not been able to control a single one of my feelings since I woke up this morning. Well, the biggest reason is that Ana and I have not spoken for nearly a week, so she has gonepletely silent, yet I know where she is at least. I can say that I am satisfied to hear that she is staying with the wife of Lewis while they are going through their own little spat. I can only imagine the conversations they are having about the men in their life. Though I did speak to Anna yesterday, and she assured me that Ana and the baby are okay. It is killing that we are spending so much time together with the closer it starts to get to the birth. I thought for some reason we could live as friends together, but it seems that something like that just simply does not work.Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. But what is working on me is the persons that decided to break down my door. Now, as I look him in the face, I can honestly say once again how grateful I am to have him back, ¡°Dad, you do know that there is something you call knocking?¡± ¡°What?¡± He only shrugs his shoulders, ¡°It is not like Ana is here and like you are busy having sex.¡± Then he pauses for a second, ¡°Unless if you decided to do it onest time before¡­¡± ¡°Dad! That is utterly disgusting, and no, there is no woman in my bed.¡± From behind him steps my mother; well, she seems a lot more cheerful than my grumpy old dad. But I know the man is just as nervous as I am. Though my mother is far too excited, she has been counting the days since I told her about Ana and me. So not having to waste another second, shees to leap herself in my arms, ¡°Oh, Ethan, I am¡­¡± ¡°Mom, don¡¯t start that conversation.¡± I squeeze her a bit tighter, ¡°I have made my decision with Ana and me, and nobody is going to talk me out of it.¡± Well, nextes the voice that has the most reason, ¡°Bro, there is always time to change your mind?¡± ¡°Matty, I have had a week to decide about this, and this is what I am going to do.¡± Then as he steps only a few steps closer, hees forward to p me with the t of his hands as hard as he possibly can, yet, I only move closer and¡­ WHAM. ¡°What the fuck was that for?¡± He only but stares at me while he rubs the back of his hand in utter frustration. ¡°For not telling me where she was staying.¡± ¡°Hey, the entire goddamn base now that you two are fighting again. Now I have be the one that needs to keep them update.¡± I only but frown at him as the thought sets in that the man and his big mouth, ¡°You did not tell everybody?¡± ¡°Hey bro, do I look stupid?¡± ¡°I am not going to answer that, now; why don¡¯t you make yourself useful and start setting up everything in the back.¡± He only but chuckles at me as he walks past, ¡°I hope that you did not cook?¡± ¡°Ha!¡± I burst out in a fit ofughter, ¡°I got someone else to do it. Why the fuck do you think I was reading through all of those goddamn magazines.¡± Then from behind the bunch of Hunter¡¯ses another familiar voice, ¡°Because we all know that you do not know the fuck what you are doing.¡± ¡°Geez, thank you, Ray. I do appreciate the vote of confidence.¡± Then I stop for a brief while, ¡°You helped me read all those magazines. So if it is a fuck up, it is your fault as well.¡± With that from behind him, nextes Gibbs; now the man seems rather nervous, so I only but sidestep him as he wants to give me a p on the shoulder. ¡°What has got your knickers in a knot?¡± ¡°Hey, I, I still think this thing¡­¡± ¡°Ugh,¡± I grunt at him as the rest of the room stands in anticipation, waiting for me to answer. So I only take but a deep breath, ¡°Guys, I know what I am doing. Can you stop worrying about Ana and me?¡± Now, that said, my mom heads to my room to go and inspect, if I even can call it that, but she needs to give me a nod of approval for if this choice failed, I would be down the road of failure myself before I have even started. Yet after ten agonizing minutes, shees out crying, now that does not help me at all. ¡°Mom, does that mean yes or no?¡± She only gives me the tightest hug and then smiles, ¡°It means you must get Anna toe.¡± Then she turns around in goes in full t order mode. ¡°Do you all know what you should be doing?¡± ¡°Well,¡± Matt stutters. ¡°You have given us all a to-do list. I don¡¯t think I can mess anything up.¡± And so does the day start with the Hunter family and friends helping a rather brave and fairly stupid Ethan sit a n in motion as the sixth day approached with Ana being away. Yes, he realized that he was aplete ass in saying some of the things that he said. But we will know if I really meant it if this n does work. So I start counting the hours¡­ We have all the men busy shoving around tables into the perfect ce that I wish to have them. Not too far and not too close to each other, it will be fairly small, yet it will still be crowded. After they have got them per my mom¡¯s instructions right where I want them, I watch as Matty and Gibbs stand in total disgust as they are forced to fold napkins that I made them practice to no end. But then, much to my annoyance, my mom goes around and shows them that they are not arranging the table in the correct way. After about a third time of failing, they stop and move on to the next task on their list. This has Ray, much to the annoyance of his hayfever, arranging white lilies and cing them down on the center of the tables and not forget to leave the biggest ones for the front. After nearly dying, he has them right into ce; with only but a nod, he moves on to the next item on my mom¡¯s extensive to-do list. It has now been two hours, and I am starting to nervously count down the minutes. I find myself wandering through the house, trying not to get an excuse why this is going to fail, then just as I am about to call a halt to the preparations, there is a knock at the door; god, I just hope not¡­ As I slowly creek the door open, much to my relief, I see that it is Anna; she gives me a hug with nothing but a cheeky smile on her face, ¡°You know that you are crazy, Ethan Hunter.¡± With nothing but a stutter and trembling hands, I go to fetch her ¡®package¡¯ as it has beene to call, ¡°Have she said anything?¡± ¡°No, she said that your name is off-limits.¡± ¡°Well, is that not just reassuring.¡± I stop to catch my breath, then as I continue, Anna ces her hand on my shoulder, ¡°Ethan, everything will work out. Your heart is in the right ce. Now stop worrying so much; I will see you in two hours?¡± ¡°God, Anna, I just hope so. I don¡¯t care if all of this is for nothing; I care that she will say no.¡± ¡°She won¡¯t; now let me get out of here; I have a lot to do.¡± With that, Anna leaves, and I feel perhaps a lot less stressed since I am only two hours away from knowing my fate. Pushing that aside, I step outside again, and as I see the fairy lights hanging from the trees, I am totally taken aback that we have created the backyard is something thates from those Cindere stories. As I step back into the kitchen, the aromas that attack my senses give me an even firmer confirmation that I am on the right path. My mom has put together the best damn spread any professional can. So as I hug her for what seems to be the hundredth time, the rest of the mene inside satisfied that they have covered those lists. And my mom only gives me the nod. ¡°Now it is time to get you ready.¡± Chapter 156 The Moments Dreams Are Made Of We have been preparing for this moment; this is the hour; this is the minute my life will change. I never have experienced excitement and yet been more terrified at the same time as I do now. It is truly amazing how the things you desire can bring you to your knees. In saying this, I do mean a woman, that one such a creature can break down your defenses. I always believed that a woman should be my undoing, but this is an undoing that I do wee. And as I stand here, I have never been so sure about anything in this life and the lifetime before. I never did think that day I firstid my eyes on her to find the meaning of why I have existed for all these years. It is true what they say that everything that you have done in your life has to lead up to this very moment, this very hour, this very minute. Standing at the edge of the carpet, I am gripped with feelings that she might note. I will simply fall into an abyss if she has rejected myst and final attempt to save our rtionship. So it is with fiddling fingers that I start pulling at my tie, much to my mom¡¯s annoyance,pletely pulling it astray. As she gets up toe to make the much-needed adjustment, I start twisting my cufflinks, causing this also to fall apart and drop at my feet. Then my mom softly whispers, ¡°Ethan, I know that she wille.¡± With sadness in my eyes, I only but pull her closer, ¡°I hope mom is right.¡± After having meposed again, I am patiently counting those seconds to torture as I do not let that entrance of the door for one minute out of sight. If I close my eyes and I squeeze them tight, I can almost see hering through that door as beautiful as ever, all dressed in white, just as soft as the angel that I hold to my heart. So after what seems like seconds ticking into endless minutes, I start to feel rather nervous that I am going to face disappointment today. Well, at least I can say that I tried. At least, I can say that I did not give up until the veryst moment, the veryst try. Perhaps I was hopeful to think that Ana will make such a giant leap. And giant leaps are the minutes that are now bordering to the hour. It is only one minute to go, and then we are set off to sail this unfamiliar ride to the horizon. Yet as it slowly ticks, sixty¡­fifty-nine¡­fifty-eight¡­fifty-seven¡­ticking down with each wink. Nothing. I am set for failure. My night will be spent riddled with pain.Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Yet I continue to stand firm¡­thirty¡­twenty-nine¡­twenty-eight¡­twenty-seven¡­ Nothing. That door has not presented my dreams, not evening close. So as I look at my mom and the rest of the guests, I can see the same nervousness that is creeping over their faces. Then next. Twenty¡­neen¡­eighteen¡­seventeen. Nothing. There is a suffocating grip that is taking hold of my heart, and god, it is squeezing tight. It is knocking my breath away and stealing all feeling that is felt in my heart. I am bing numb, and there are tears starting to brew in the corners of these brown eyes. But how I wish I were seeing those other brown eyes staring deep into mine this very present. And as ites¡­four¡­three¡­two¡­ The music starts. Then I see her, elegant and exquisite, as if she is floating on air. Her skin is glowing from the afternoon sun that is falling through the trees. The curves of her body are softly covered inyers of chiffon with a beadedce bodice and a thin belt. A dreamy voluminous tulle skirt that gorgeously res out underneath. Her long locks of brown hair are neatly tucked into spirals of curls that are flowing in and out of each other like a perfect masterpiece. Porcin skin isposed to perfection, and to finish off is a pair of stilettos that glimmers as it shines. And as shees to stand next to me, a small tear starts to tickle the corner of my eye. Beauty indeed lies in the eye of the beholder, and at present, beauty is flooding my sense of vision. ¡°Hey, boo.¡± She only but chuckles at me nervously. ¡°Quite a surprise, soldier.¡± ¡°What can I say? I am a foolish and very desperate man.¡± ¡°And I am¡­¡± ¡°Ssshhh, it is forgotten. Now I am guessing you are here for your wedding and not to p me against the head?¡± ¡°Oh, I am here for both.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ Well, I guess that Ethan has truly outdone himself. I can not say how much shock and surprise, yet even more excited I felt when Anna produced a wedding dress for me and told me that I should make a choice. I attend my wedding in an hour. Or I lose Ethan forever. Well, that was an easy one to make. What man, after all, arranges your own wedding for you? So, I guess that we are going into this blindly, but not truly blindly, for I know what I feel for him. I have never been asked to confine it in a few sentences, in a string of words, broken down into sybles that should escape over my lips easily. I guess you can put it down to fate. So it is without even having to hesitation that I take his big strong hands into my tiny ones that are trembling visibly to the eye. But the moment he envelopes them, all the anxiety and nervousness slip away. His smiles grow even fonder around the corner of his lips. Those big brown eyes sparkle like crystals in the sun. And I know this is right where I need to be. So we nervously stand and let the priest guide us through the ceremony, reading a beautiful verse and telling us how we should hold our love dear for the rest of our eternity. Then the scariest part of all of this happens, my vows. So I take a rather deep breath and say whates straight to mind from the heart. ¡°Ethan, I believe in you, the person you will grow to be, and the couple we will be together. With my whole heart, I take you as my husband, acknowledging and epting your faults and strengths as you do mine. I promise to be faithful and supportive and to always make our family¡¯s love and happiness my priority. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. And I will dream with you, celebrate with you, and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring. You are my person¡ªmy love and my life, today and always.¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ Now, if the day was not overwhelming enough as it is, those wordsing from Ana¡¯s lips haveid deeply in the deepest passages of my heart. I do not even think that my words canpare to hers. But it is not a question ofparing, it is what the heart feels, and even though our hearts might not feel love the same way, it is love that we both feel. So I do not even know what to say, but I know where to start. And as Ice my fingers between hers, I start to fumble at my words. ¡°Ana, I promise to overdraft the checking ount I promise toin about the kitty litter And I vow to encourage us to try new and strange things I vow to fill your ¡®I love you¡¯ bank every day I vow to never use a recipe when fixing dinner And I vow to be the best parts of me that fit perfectly with the best parts of you Although I will be imperfect, I pledge to be sensitive and respectful of your unique talents, abilities, and quirks I pledge to lend you strength for all of your dreams Through our union, we can aplish more than I could alone I believe in you.¡± Well, that did cause quite a stir among the guest, and yet the priest did not quite find that find. Though do I care? This is my day, and I shall live it up the only way I want to remember it, and it is with this woman in my arms. So with that, the priest brings as to the scariest and the final part of bringing our unionplete. I go to Ana and kneel in front of her, presenting the ring I wish for her to wear toplete this eternal bond. And as I slip it gently onto her finger, ¡°I do, Ana Jenkins.¡± When she slides mine into ce, ¡°I do, Ethan Hunter.¡± I can now say that we are wed. And with that being said, that tear that tickled my eye has now rolled down my face. So as we get lost in this moment, I take Ana in front of all present and pull her slowly closer to me and wrap my arms around her and rest my hands at the small of her back. She loses herself in the warmth of my embrace. Ana only but leans in closer against my sculpted chest, breath by a breath, she moves her deep cherry lips, closer and closer, with only one wink¡­ our lips touch. She tastes like cotton candy and feels smoother than that silk dress that hugs her body around her perfect curves. She runs her hand through my hair and pulls me even closer; the world around us haspletely faded away; she is my only focus. I totallye undone as she floods all my senses. My heart is beating so loud; it feels like I am going to explode. With hands that are slightly trembling, I whisper in her ear. ¡°I love you, Ana Hunter.¡± She inhales, ¡°I love you too, Ethan Hunter.¡± My heart flutter inside my chest. For what seems like an eternity, we just stare into each other¡¯s eyes. She looks down at my slightly parted lips. We both lean into each other in slow motion, never breaking eye contact once. Then we begin to close the gap even more than before. My warm breath lingers just for a second; I feel that I cannot breathe, I cannot move, my entire body stiffening. Then she kisses me. When she kisses me, my brain lights on fire, and the warmth spread throughout my entire body. I am addicted to her, I cannot bear being without her, and I can barely breathe when she is around. I dedicate my life to being with her, for I know that if I lose her, I will lose myself. She is the half that made me whole. Chapter 157 Whispers Of Love As we find ourselves sitting down at the main table adorned inplete white and the scent of lilies that attack our senses, I turn to my now wife and take her face gently between my hands. With only but a feather of a whisper, I look deep into those sparkling brown eyes. ¡°Boo, I know now that no matter where we find ourselves in our lives, at the present moments, that we have always been destined to be together.¡± Then as a tear appear in the corner of her eyes and starts rolling down her cheek, I gently wipe it away and lean in closer, ¡°Thank you foring back. I think, yet I know, that I would simply have died if I did not see you walking through that door.¡± She only but chuckles at me and pull my lips closer, ¡°I love you, you crazy Marine. Your body might be broken, but your heart is right in the ce where it needs to be.¡± And with that, I hand her, and yes, it is white, and it is folded in a square. ¡°Oh god no!¡± she utters inplete surprise. ¡°Not a damn envelope.¡± As I shove it gently in her hand, I only but smile, ¡°This one you will like.¡± So goes quiet and looks at me for a brief moment, then slowly, yet cautiously, she starts opening the now. And as I watch her form the words on her lips, it gives me great satisfaction. ¡°Mrs. Ana Hunter, There¡¯s this thing that holds my heart down whenever I think about you; I would have called it love, but it¡¯s more than just love, and wordsck a name for it. Indeed, I am d that you are my own now, and I am yours, true soul mates we shall always be to each other. I love you from the very depth of my heart, and there¡¯s nothing I will not do to always keep us together. With you, I feel happy that I have someone to call my very own, someone that has shown me what it means to be loved with all sincerity from the heart. I may never be able to say thank you enough for your warm love, kindness, affection, and care. I may not often tell you that my whole heart belongs to you. I may always not be able to make your thoughts know that you¡¯re the one I am always thinking about on a per-second basis. But, I sure can do one thing, and that is to treat you like the queen of my pce, the owner of my heart, the very one I think about on a per-second basis, the one I never stop deeming about, the one that has caused the realization of my dreams, and the one that gives me so many reasons to believe in the existence of true love. One thing is certain that I will always be yours. In letting you know how much I love you, the best thing to do would have been to give you my whole heart to read, but that¡¯s not possible, and my heart doesn¡¯t have a voice of its own to say everything it feels. So, whatever you hear from me is only a few percent of what I truly do feel about you. Having you in my life has been so special that words alone can¡¯t tell. There¡¯s this girl I never expected to keep so close at first sight because I knew less or nothing about her. But with time, I got to know how real and beautiful she is. I began to feel an unshakable bond by looking into her crystal-like radiating eyes. Now, all that makes me happy is the thought that you¡¯re mine. There¡¯s nothing that would have ever been able to make me as happy as I am now because of your presence. Your presence in my life is worth more than what I can exin, and your love speaks anguage that only my heart understands. People like you are indeed very rare to find in a world like ours, and since I have you to call mine, and will always remind you that you¡¯re the bestdy in the world. Like it has been before like it is now, so shall it always be that you own my heart. Amongst billions of men in the world, I consider myself to be the luckiest because I have a sincere and loving heart to call my own. You give me so much peace of mind that I have literally felt the blessing of having someone to call a soul mate and a God-sent angel to me. I love you very much, dear, and I will always do. So much love¡­ Your husband.¡± ¡­¡­. For what seems like an eternity, we just stare into each other¡¯s eyes. She looks down at my slightly parted lips, and I know what is about to happen. We both lean into each other in slow motion, never breaking eye contact once. My heart skips a beat, and my knees get wobbly, even though I am not standing on my feet. I curl my hand around her neck and tangle the other in her long wavy hair. Our lips brush softly against each other. Her lips are soft and delicately. They dance against me like butterfly wings. I pull away, hesitating for a moment. She felt new yet oddly familiar. Her lips seemed molded to the shape of mine. My hands curled around her so perfectly as if they were made just for her. She tastes like passion, like pure, unrestrained passion, and I want more. Then we begin to close the gap even more than before. What begins as a small peck bes more passionate. The rest of the world spins so fast that it bes non-existent. I lean even further into her, and my body melts into hers. It is as if I can feel a fire zing within me, out of control. We arepletely and utterly in sync at this very moment. Everything about her is perfect. The sheer softness of her hair as I run my hands through it. The taste of sweet cotton candy that lingers on her lips. Her breath that warms my cheek. The way she ys with the hair at the back of my head that tickles my neck. She presses her lips against mine even harder. Lightning passes through me. I feel lost in a different universe, and she is slowly taking me away. Her cold hand creeps from my neck down my spine and pulls me closer. Her touch makes my body shiver. Her delicate, innocent kiss makes my heart flutter. Then it races. My body surrenders. I let her kiss me for as long as she wants. Every time I let go, I go back and kiss her again softly. After what seems like being away for hours, we part and put our foreheads together. She stares into my eyes and softly whispers. ¡°I love you.¡± As evening approaches and everyone has gone their separate ways and to their homes, we go seek thefort of our bed. Sadly we cannot do our wedding night ritual, but as long as I have her by my side, I truly do not care. So as I sit in the corner while she is wiggling that gorgeous body into her nighties, I cannot help but admire the woman that I am going to spend the rest of my life and the eternity beyond that with. If there is one thing that I have ever done toplete perfection¡­then it is this. I might be a great Marine, but I will be an even better husband at it.Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. As she finally finds herself snug under the nkets, I fall down next to her on the bed, and we both just lie in silence as we stare at the roof. Even though the words are unsaid, we both know that now things will be better. We had done what we set out to do. Then after gathering my breath andposure again, I turn my head to look at her. I can see there are tears trickling in the corner of her eye, yet I know that she is not sad, but she is only filled with joy. With only but a whispered breath, Iy my hand gently against her cheek. ¡°Boo, I cannot live without you. I know that now more than ever. Some peoplee into your life for a short period, while others are destined to stay till the end. You are one of those people that are destined to stay until the end. I¡¯m not ever going to let you out of my life; you are a perfect representation of all the beautiful things in my life. You have always been the reason for my persistent smiles and happy moments. I will never love you any lesser than this. I know my feelings for you will continue being doubled and tripled.¡± Chapter 158 My Happy Ending In front of me sits my wife of only eight hours. With all honesty, I can say that I love being married, yes, they say that the marriage is over in an hour, but after that, a lifetime of being married really starts. She bes mine, and I became hers, and now we will start our happily-ever-after I believe now more firmly than I did the day before our wedding day when I was rushing like a crazy man in love to prepare the day that my wife shall never forget. There were the parts where I did think that I am making such a big mistake to take such a risk, for I was only opening my heart to more pain. But as Iy and looked at Ana as she sleptst night, I just knew I simply love her, and that is all that matters. Yes, she will have someone that will annoy her for the rest of her life, but at least we will be walking those footsteps together. She has been nothing but warm giggles and happy chatter, and it makes me so happy that I am the man that makes her feel those things. But what else this man is feeling is his wife sshing water in his face. ¡°Boo, what are you doing? ¡°I am busy bathing, soldier.¡± I only but burst out in a fit ofughter, ¡°Oh, is that what you called that sshing around?¡± ¡°It is not my fault you ran so much water in the bath.¡± ¡°Well, I did not ever think I will be using the thing.¡± ¡°Hahaha. Your ass is sozy.¡± ¡°Hey, it is much easier to shower. And if you think about it, we could have had sex in the shower by now.¡± ¡°What is wrong with the bath?¡± ¡°Really, boo? Is that your idea of being romantic?¡± ¡°Now that is a word I ever thought woulde out of Ethan Hunter¡¯s mouth.¡± ¡°I can show you what else¡­¡± I need not even have to show her; I slip out from behind her and step outside the tub. After wrapping a white towel around my waist, I gently help her out of the tub. Slipping a towel over that big belly, I slowly lead her towards the bed. As sheys down on the ck satin sheets, I slip her towel open and pull it away, ¡°Mmm. Now, what do I do with this?¡± ¡°Hopefully not stare at it the whole morning.¡± ¡°What type of man would I be if I let this go to waste?¡± ¡°The kind of one that is getting pped for referring to my body as trash.¡± ¡°Hahaha. I think I might just love that mouth more than you.¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Soldier!¡± I only butugh at her. If there is one thing that Ana does well, then it is driving me crazy. I have seen her naked so many times before but seeing her now kind of makes a man feel special. Her beauty is breath-taking, how I have craved to have my lips so close to her skin. It is beyond amazing; it feels as if I am running my tongue through a pot of honey. She is hot, and her skin is melting into every inch of me; her skin feels like a bed of feathers. There is nothing I would not do to her if she will only give in to me. Then, I consume her mouth like a fire, my sleek tongue stroking the insides of her mouth, curling and entwining with her own. She looks up at me. The swirls of emotion I see in her eyes make me gasp. However, before I can ponder about it further, she yanks me to her and covers my mouth with a hungry kiss. As our lips crush together, it feels like I am walking on air. It is magic, the way her lips connect with mine. ¡°God boo, you taste better than any taste that has ever fallen upon my tongue; I just want to taste more and more of you.¡± She slides her hands through my hair and knots her fingers in it; she slowly pulls me closer to her, so close that I can smell her. The sweetness of lily and a touch of powder fills every corner of my senses. She is a breath of fresh air on a bed of wet flowers that is burning hot in the sun. Just thinking of letting myself get lost in her sends a pure ache of craving to my very much throbbing cock, I look up into the raging oceans that are her eyes to make sure that this is what she truly desires, for I know now more than ever that I do. Every time she thinks of my tongue, this shall be the ce that she shall be reminded where it has been. ¡°Soldier.¡± ¡°Ssshhh, boo. Close your eyes and enjoy it.¡± I gently part her legs even further; there is a slight tremble of anticipation in them. My fingers slide down the inside of her thighs, then I dig them into her ass and pull her even closer and closer by an inch. My hot breath sends shivers over her body, and I hear her softly whimpering my name. Give me just another half an hour; then she shall be screaming it over and over again. I take but a moment to admire her. Her pussy has small and thin lips; she ispact and ever so tight. There is nothing but a tiny strip that leads you to her most desirable part. Her lips are a lovely rose pink, and god, how surprisingly wet she is. Her sweet softness and the deep intensity of her wetness sends an undeniable ache to my throbbing erection that is dripping on the inside of my thigh. I trail my fingers down with my tips, only grazing her clit; then, I gently sink in between her lips. I circle them in slow motion through the wet path that leads me to her entrance. Without even hesitating, I push my finger through ever so deep into her. I wait for a second, then slip in another. She gasps as I knot them and start to pump in and out of her. The sounds of the thrusting in and out of her pussy are like music to my ears. I stop for a second and wait until she meets my eyes. There are mixed emotions of lust and confusion on her face. I swear if she could shoot daggers, I would be dead. ¡°Are you okay, boo?¡± ¡°Oh, god, Soldier! Why did you stop?¡± Unable to resist any longer, I press my lips against her pussy. My tongue rolls out and slides through the soft wet valley up to her clit. As I press my tongue deep into the center, her body starts to quiver. I start to flick my tongue ever so skillfully against her hard pearl. I continue to thrust my fingers in and out of her, matching my tongue to the same rhythm. She gasps at the ever-deepening probing of my tongue into her slippery softness. With my hands firm on her thighs, I try to keep her hips from moving; her body is beyond her control. As I continue to y my tongue around her clit, my fingers only increase the speed that I am pumping into her. I can feel the heat start building up in her body, and I know she closes. ¡°Boo, I am going to make you cum.¡± She only nods, for she is unable to even form a single word. I smile at her with a near, satisfied grin. I got her close to shattering, now only one little push, and she falls over the edge. I slip my fingers out and rece them with my tongue. I drive my thumb into the center of her soft spot and start circling her hard. My tongue drives deep in and out of her. Faster and faster, deeper and deeper, she is building up to a climax. The warmth in her body is near burning; her legs are shaking beyond a quiver. ¡°Let it go, boo.¡± ¡°Oh, god, Soldier.¡± I feel her pussy clench tight, and her warmth erupts over my tongue. With onest lick, I move up her body and drop down next to her. ¡°Just give me a few seconds to breathe, then I will tell you how amazing you are.¡± ¡°Hahaha. Compliment taken.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t go getting a big head now, Mr. Hunter.¡± ¡°I already have one, but a second one can do.¡± ¡°You are impossible.¡± ¡°So what do you say? You ready for the next round?¡± ¡°Hahaha. I don¡¯t know how many times the neighbors want to hear me scream.¡± ¡°I will just go tell them to plug their ears.¡± She falls quiet for a moment to catch her breath, then I get that ¡®Ana look,¡¯ and my entire body freezes on the spot, yet I let her continue, ¡°Can I ask a question?¡± ¡°Mmm, am I in trouble?¡± ¡°Yes, soldier, you are in trouble.¡± Chapter 159 The Secret Is Out ¡­Ana POV¡­ I am twenty-eight weeks pregnant now. I am feeling all the best parts of being an expecting mother. I have not stopped counting how many times Ethan rubs my belly. But which is even more precious is when we go to bed in the evening, if he manages to keep his hands to himself, he finds the time to read ¡®The Cat In A Hat¡¯ to our little baby boy. I wish that he did not read that to him, for I find a cat wearing a bow tie and a hat very disturbing. But apart from this, he nearly has the nursery to the way that he wants it to be, though what I am surprised about is that he has not used as much blue as I thought he would do. But I can almost say that there is nothing that our little baby boy willck for he has gotten him every little thing you can think of that a baby will need. So, after not being able to keep his hands to himself and sshing around in the bath, we are now officiallyte for our appointment at the Doctor today. Now, he should not for one minute think that I have forgotten the small little detail that I have not yet mentioned. The question here is, do I do it now or do I wait until after we have been to the Doctor? Well which ever way, I am still going to get upset and then I will upset the baby that will in turn keep the shit out of me. Needless to say, I am deciding to wait until we have left the Doctor, but Mr. Hunter is so worried that he is beside himself. So fat the past ten minutes into our drive to the Doctor, he has been ying the guessing game, and let me tell you, he is not even close. So for what is the so many of time, he looks over at me, ¡°Boo, did I leave the towel on the floor again?¡± ¡°Soldier if that towel was on the floor, you would have had it in your face.¡± Then he pulls his face in an awkward way, and next pops his idea, ¡°I know, you did not like the wedding cake. I knew that I had to go with the fruit.¡± I only but shake my head at him, ¡°Soldier, do I eat Christmas cake?¡± ¡°No, boo.¡± ¡°Well, then I wont eat godawful fruit in my wedding cake.¡± ¡°Then boo, I give up,¡± he pulls that puppy face on me, and yes my knees crumble, but first have to see my baby bump before I fight with his father. It is what seems like an endless hour that we are finally at the Doctor, walking down that corridor that seems like a second home already. As we get to Doctor rooms, he is already standing waiting for us. ¡°Morning Mr. and I believe Mrs. Hunter.¡± ¡°Yes,¡± Ethan says with a proud chest, ¡°Not eve a day old. Took some convincing but I finally got the olddy to the alter.¡± Well, next there goes the t of my hand against that perfectly set of messed up hair, ¡°Did you just called me an olddy.¡± ¡°Boo, you are older than me.¡± ¡°Does not mean that you should call me an olddy.¡± ¡°Then what must I call you then?¡± ¡°Try Ana.¡± ¡°Well, what happened to boo?¡± ¡°Boo is going to¡­¡± Next the Doctor jumps in, ¡°Can the Hunters stop bickering and get ready to see how the little one is doing.¡± Then the Doctor pauses for a brief moment, before he continues with a smile on his face, ¡°I am guessing that you opened the envelope?¡± ¡°Oh,¡± Ethan immediately jumps in to answer the question, ¡°We definitely opened that envelope.¡± ¡°Soldier!¡± ¡°Yes, boo?¡± ¡°Do you want to get smacked again?¡± With only a shake of his head, the Doctor points to me, ¡°You get changed, and you,¡± he points over to Ethan, ¡°You stop upsetting mommy and the baby.¡± Well, I do not know if Ethan is more scared of a toon Leader or the Doctor at the present moment, but I cannot help but chuckle to myself. But everything soon disappears as I go in mommy survival mood, and start to get that fear if my little baby is okay. So very much nervous, I get onto the bed while Ethan takes a seat in the corner. He only but whispers to me as he reaches out for my hand, ¡°Hey, everything is okay.¡± I know that he is right, but yet there will always be a fear. I only but give him half a shy smile; I am so scared; in fact, I am near to damn terrified. All I want is to hear that little heartbeat. So Doctores to sit next to me and take my hand, ¡°Are you ready?¡± With only but a nod at him, he goes to pull my gown away to show my big baby bump that is seems like it is growing even more by the day. Yes, I will admit, I do feel like that big damn green truck some days. With a soft giggle at myself, I watch in anticipation as he puts the gell that is freezing to the touch over my tummy and rub the prove over the edges and inside of my bump. My body shivers, but it is pure shivers of joy. Then we wait. And it seems like we are waiting for almost forever, but it is almost like instant. But then we see it, and god is it the most beautiful thing that I have seen in my life. There he is and his little heart is beating at a perfect hum. Our little baby is fine, he looks very healthy, and he is fine. The tears that have been overwhelming me start to consume my eyese rushing like a raging river down my cheeks. Ethan abondons his chair ande stand next to me, with a gentle hand heys it on my belly and gives me a soft peck on the cheek, ¡°See, our little bump is doing fine. He is a Hunter.¡± Then the Doctor only butughs at him, ¡°Yes, he surely is growing as big as a Hunter, I saw what your brother looks like and, it seems that it runs in the family.¡± Yes, and they just had to say that, nextes the horrific thought, how am I going to give birth to such a big baby boy? With only but a frown on my face, I pull Ethan closer by the arm, ¡°You have ruined my body for life.¡± ¡°Boo?¡± ¡°You damn Hunter boys are build from brick. How is that baby going to fit through here?¡± Ethan¡¯s face sets into horror and the very word leaves slowyly in each syble, then he only but shakes his head, ¡°I thought you are going to do that cut thingy?¡± ¡°Soldier, I would have loved to give natural birth.¡±N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. I watch as he grinds onto his teeth, ¡°Is this why I am in trouble?¡± ¡°No, that is stilling.¡± The Doctor only butughs at us as he prints us a little photo to go add to my collection in my scrap book. Then soon after we find ourselves walking back down the corridor, me with a giant smile on my face, yet Ethan is worrying of his ass. The drive back home is quiet, yet we both are so excited that the arrival of our little bump is near. Yes, and near is what lies around the corner once I have given birth, and it will only be three monthster. Our little bump will be three months, until his daddy, well, let us ask him now. ¡°So, soldier, there was a little birdie that told me where you were while I was away.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t understand, boo? What are you talking about?¡± Now I don¡¯t know if the man is trying to ease into this or if he is just being in damn stupid. Yet, I shall remind him, ¡°You were with Gibbs up at the Registration Offices.¡± His eyes grow wide and he starts to stutter as he fumbles for the words to exin himself, after a few moment of not being able to speak, he pulls the car off the road and then turns to me, ¡°Boo, I was really mad.¡± ¡°Okay, yes I understand, but does it mean that you have to go enlist for the Raiders?¡± ¡°Boo, who told you that I went.¡± ¡°That does not matter who it was, the fact it that you did.¡± ¡°Boo, it does matter, because I am going to go and fucking shoot that birdie..¡± And yes, I am trying to keep myposure, trying my best not tough while I am trying to have a rather serious conversation with him. However, he does not see my amusement at all, he only carries on to speak, ¡°But, boo, I though that you were happy with it?¡± ¡°Soldier, I told you how if felt about it. You know that I fully support you, but do you know what?¡± Chapter 160 Crippled By Fear Watching Ana is she is about to say the very word, there is a crippling fear that is settling over every bone in my body. Yes, I have done this without telling, yet saying it was because I was mad is not an excuse. So, I have put tension between us again, and we are not even married for a full day. There is only one thing that is consuming me now¡­and that is¡­ FEAR. Why? Why must such an emotione to bring you down in moments when you should feel happy. Well, guess what? I have known fear fo a very long time. My whole life, to be precise. We¡¯ve been together through everything, the good times and, yup, definitely the bad. Looking back, I wonder why it was there when I¡¯ve been happy, why it questioned my happiness, but I guess it just didn¡¯t want to feel left out of the party. It just wanted to keep reminding me that it was there, like a security nket, promising to never leave my side. So as I have to sit and endure the torment of silence, I need to let you, FEAR, I need to let you how I feel. After all, we¡¯ve been through so much together, and I know you¡¯ll always be around. I want to get to know you more to figure out how we can work together in a way so that I am hearing in a much clearer way what you¡¯re trying to teach me. You¡¯re in my life, and always will be, for a reason, so let¡¯s try and figure out why and how we can be of use to each other. First of all, Fear, let¡¯s be clear about who you are to me. You are the voices in my head that often caution me or tell me reasons not to do something. You are that feeling in my gut that warns me to stay away from a ce, person, or a situation. You and Instinct work together on that. You are also that feeling that sits just near my heart, beneath my breastbone, that makes me think twice before I do anything that could potentially make me feel vulnerable. I feel you, and I can hear you telling me not to do it because I may getughed at. You¡¯re telling me this isn¡¯t a great idea. You really are quite persistent. You are loudest at night. When I¡¯m lying in bed, and I¡¯m thinking about my ns, my family, my choices, my dreams. You pop up and decide now is the time for us to have a debate about it all. Actually, where you¡¯re concerned, it never really is a debate. Not at night anyway. At night, you decide that¡¯s the best time to hit me with your worst-case scenarios. You do this because you know it¡¯s at night when I¡¯m at my weakest, most vulnerable and susceptible to you. You are strong. I¡¯ll give you that. You do have power, and you know the exact moment when you can really pack that punch. How you do that, I¡¯m learning, is you have done your homework when ites to me. You have been like a tiny little audio recorder in my head and heart, listening to all the things that may have been said to me or told to me in the past. Whether it was my mother and father telling me to ¡°be careful,¡± or a culture telling me not to take too many risks, not to be too loud or daring, and that I should always be a ¡°good,¡± never question authority and just do as I am told. What you do, Fear, and this is where you¡¯re quite the master; I have to say, is take the words, the bits that you believe fit your purpose so well, edit them together and y them back to me. Some of the words that may have been said to me by others, some of the words I read somewhere, are taken out of context but put together so well that it sounds so real. ¡­Ana POV¡­ I can see the fear in Ethan¡¯s eyes as he is waiting for me to finish our conversation, yet, I do believe that I need not say anything more. He knows how I feel, though that is not going to stop me from feeling the way he is currently feeling. And, yes, I do feel it myself. FEAR. This brings me to the question. So what is your purpose? I can ept that you are there to protect me. You are that gatekeeper to the dangers to my physical being that you can potentially foresee, and I am grateful to you for that. I am grateful for your protection. Fear, that purpose of yours is great. Really. When you show up then, the Fear I feel manifests in all my senses heightened. I am on guard. My muscles are tense, and I am ready to pounce on anyone who threatens my family or me. That is when you, Fear, is being strong for me. What about when you showed up when I found out I was going to have a baby, and then you really made your presence felt? And you¡¯re still here, to this day. As soon as I be a parent, you be my constantpanion, more so than ever before. And this time more powerful. But, if I was to really look at you another way, your being here with me makes me a more present and powerful mother. Because of your worried whispers, I will do anything and everything for my child. Anything. And. Everything. I will ask a million questions to doctors and teachers if I need to. I don¡¯t care if they think I am being irrational or stupid. I am not afraid of their opinions. Thanks to you. Again, this is your way of making me be strong for myself and my family. What else? Why else are you here? Why else do you show up when I want to embark on a new path or risk changing who I am for the potential of whom I could be? Why do I hear your chosen voices, that audience in my head, telling me it¡¯s ¡®too difficult,¡¯ I¡¯m not being ¡®realistic,¡¯ that¡¯s not how things are ¡®always done,¡¯ or even as far as ¡®who do you think you are?¡¯, and the people whose opinions you thought used to care about ¡®willugh at you¡¯? What are you trying to tell me there? I¡¯m asking because I want to keep an open mind, and beating you down won¡¯t help either of us. Neither will shutting you out or pretending you¡¯re not there. Let me tell you what I have learned so far; when I don¡¯t listen to you when you¡¯re like this is that I feel exhrated for taking a chance. I am energized for going where I haven¡¯t gone before. That moment just before I take the leap into my potential is where you¡¯re there with your red stop sign trying to get me to stay on my very own well-trodden path. You¡¯refortable there because that¡¯s where you have control; it¡¯s where you know they of my emotionalnd. Me taking us somewhere new is scary for you, Fear. I know it. So you try to make your voice louder because you don¡¯t want me to let go of you. But you know what, Fear? Yes, I have stopped dead in my tracks when your sign is up, stopped taking the dive, jumping into the unknown. But here¡¯s the thing, I stop, and then I walk back a few steps and then run right on through, past your sign. I use your strength gripping me to push me forward. It sounds strange, almost nonsensical. But it¡¯s true. I use that to propel me forward. Those voices of yours are drowned out by the loud thumps of my beating heart, the thumps that are my own cheerleading squad telling me just to try. Just. Try. Just Try. And I know myself now just as I am knowing more about you, is that what I don¡¯t want to feel, more than you in my head and my heart, is Regret. Fear, youe and go. But Regret, well, Regret stays forever. And Regret is the most unwee guest because, in most cases, I can prevent Regret froming into my home. And regret will be the most important thing that I shall feel if I do not let the man that I call my husband, the man that I love if I do not allow this man to follow his dreams. He has given me so much of himself that I can only but repay him in this small way. I shall never stand between him and what he wants to do. I am simply not going to be that type of wife. So it is with confidence that I can turn to him, with brown eyes that are sparkling beyondpare, I need to let the poor man out of his misery. ¡°Soldier,¡± I pull his hand closer andy it softly between mine. ¡°I want you to go be the best goddamn Raider there is.¡±Belonging to N?velDrama.Org. Chapter 161 Tricking My Husband ¡­ Ana POV¡­ I have a rather excited Marine in front of me that can barely contain the smile on his face. It gives me great pleasure that I am the one that has put it there. But he has got one condition, which wille after we have lunch. ¡°Soldier we are meeting Anna at the pub, no buts.¡± ¡°Boo, I am in shock; I need to recover.¡± He looks at me with pleading eyes, ¡°Can we not make it another time?¡± ¡°No, you can recover on the way there.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± ¡± Ethan Hunter, you are not getting out of this. If you want any, then you wille now.¡± He gasps as he gets into the car, ¡°That is called bribery, and we both know I am not.¡± ¡°Well, maybe I will change my mind. After much convincing, he finally agrees to have lunch with the girls. I love that he would do absolutely anything it is that I ask. Yet, ¡°I am going to strangle you for making mee to this girly thing.¡± ¡°Stopining and get us to the pub; we arete.¡± So as we arrive at the pub, she is already waiting for us; the strict Anna is tapping her watch. ¡°Now, I hope there is a good reason why you two are sote.¡± As Ethan pulls her into a nervous hug, he stutters as he tries to speak. ¡°Oh, believe me, Anna, we have a very good reason.¡±All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. She only shakes her head at Ethan but then, as Anna pulls me closer, ¡°Is this one going to be an odd one today?¡± ¡°Oh, believe me, Anna, he is truly odd.¡± She only but smiles. After rubbing my belly and a few more hugs, we finally sit down. ¡°So,¡± she excitedly rubs her hands together, ¡°What did the Doctor say?¡± Anna looks at me and then at Ethan, as she takes the picture from Ethan, she only but smiles, ¡°It seems that you have really mounted her, look how big he is.¡± ¡°Oh my god, Anna!¡± Ethan burst outughing, ¡°Yes, I did mount her rather spectacrly.¡± ¡°Ethan!¡± I snap my fist and hit him right on the shoulder again. ¡°You can not say things like that.¡± ¡°Oh, I can, and I just did. Just then, Ethan excuses himself from the table and makes his way to the gents. Then Anna looks at me with a very wicked smile on her face. ¡°Now, Ana, that ass is something you talk about. Tell me, is this man as hot without his pants on.¡± ¡°Anna!¡± ¡°What? The boy is delicious; I bet you he has¡­¡± I immediately interrupt her before she can say another embarrassing word, for my entire body is just tingling, thinking about that hunk that is rocking that ass on purpose; the man knows that we are staring at him. God, he is such a sin, and I am a sinner every day. As hees back, I can only see that wicked grin on his face; he knows exactly what he is doing. ¡°Soldier.¡± ¡°Yes, boo?¡± ¡°You did that on purpose, didn¡¯t you?¡± ¡°What? I would never try to seduce you.¡± With that, he takes a seat again, and he and Anna just stare at each other, having this unheard conversation with their eyes. We then settle to have lunch; as we dig in, someone enters the pub. As Ethan snaps his head to see who he is, he only but shakes his head, ¡°Well, look whom we have here.¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ The moment he stepped through the door, there was a fear that consumed my eyes and spread like wildfire to the rest of my body. All I know is that I need to get out of this room; it has grown rather small and suffocating. And I want to take Ana out before she turns around and sees him, for it will set the fear of horror into her body. So I only nod to Anna as she speaks from underneath her breath, ¡°I will get the owner to sort him out.¡± With that, Ana wants to turn and see who it is that we are talking about, but I immediately take her by the arm and bid farewell to everyone. With that, we make the drive home in fair silence. Ana is not asking me any questions as she can see the terror that is filled in my eyes. She has learned by now not to ask when the darkes settling over me. Arriving at home does bring much-needed relief; my intention is to retire to my room and not to leave it, at least for another day. And I do see the same sentiment on Ana¡¯s face. ¡°Soldier, I do believe that you possess somewhat of a dilemma¡­¡± ¡°Boo.¡± ¡°Yes, Soldier?¡± ¡°You shall possess your own dilemma if you wish to continue your sentence.¡± So it is in awe as I watch her make elegant strides. She moves every curve to perfect precision; her hips rock from side to side, and it peaks my arousal. I have to fight the desire to pull her back and take her right at this very moment. I can so easily push her into this very wall that is presenting itself at the perfect timing, and that is exactly what I intend on doing. It is as if an animal is awakened inside of me; my only desire is to feel every inch of her bosom pressed into my hard muscled chest. So I push her back into the very wall behind her. She gasps at my bold move and answers me with a soft moan thates rolling over her lips. She slowly flicks just enough buttons open to slide that glorious fingers under my tight shirt. I shiver as she trails the tips over my rippled abs. Then she slips them between the seems of my pants, my body freezes in anticipation. ¡°Soldier, you are not getting any.¡± I continue to press my leg gently between her own and slight part them; my growing erection is pushing hard into her thighs. My heartbeat is growing faster by the second, my body is burning, and an ever-increasing hunger is beginning to devour every part that wishes to please her. Then in an instant, my lipse crashing against her soft and sweet ones. It feels like an eternity that they have been locked in a passionate kiss. It has been far beyond long that I have savored every part of her. And it is without hesitation that I slide my hands over her thighs. And as I slide my hand further up her perfect curves, I let my fingers slide over the very part that I desire the most at this very moment. ¡°Soldier.¡± ¡°But, boo just for one minute.¡± ¡°It is not going to happen.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ As his facees down, heys his lips softly onto my own. His lips are soft, but there is a hard desperation behind them, a need. He is sping my thigh, and as he draws me closer, I arch my body into him; the fire between us twisting and burning, the passion is building, I so want to lose control. I move my lips against his; I want more. He pulls me even closer until there is no space left between trembling bodies; his warm fingers are grasping my waist, I am lost in him, I am lost in his kiss, and all my defenses give way. ¡°Soldier¡­¡± ¡°Ssshhh, boo.¡± His lips brush against mine. Not innocently, but like a tease, it is burning hot. He tastes like honey and a bit of vani; I can smell his spicy cologne. I want to pull away before I lose myself, but I can¡¯t; I hardly have a moment to react before he presses his tongue to the seam of my lips, and, at my grant of ess, he delves inside my mouth. It is like my senses have l been seduced, and I can no longer think straight. He kisses me, fiery, passionate, and demanding. ¡°Ana.¡± He softly whispers my name; I smile, my heart flutters at his voice. His touch sends warm ripples of shock through my body, thinning the air in my lungs. His gaze falls down to my lips, parted and full, waiting to be kissed. In slow motion, he bends toward me, closing his eyes to caress my mouth with his own. A weak gasp escapes me. With a fierce hold, he cups the back of my neck and kisses me deeply, gently; he is possessive in his touch. His fingers twine in my hair, desperate to explore. This man in front of me will be my death, but it shall be a death I will happily die if it means that I can have him by my side. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ She stands on her tiptoes and reaches for my lips; she only but gives me a peck. Her eager fingers move to my shirt, loosen each button painfully slow. She tips her fingers on my chest and starts running them over every toned muscles, drawing a line through every crevice. She draws my groin into her hips and startsying tiny butterfly kisses on my skin. She slides my shirt off and drops it to the floor. As I reach to take off her dress, she stops me and moves away. ¡°You are no fun, Boo.¡± She ces her finger on my lips; as her hands go to the seams of my pants, she moves quickly to unzip me. She grabs onto my ass and digs her nails in while slipping my pants over and to the floor. ¡°Soldier, why don¡¯t you have underwear on?¡± ¡°I think it must have slipped my mind.¡± ¡°Do you want to know what else is going to slip?¡± ¡°Not sure, boo, but I bet you are going to show me.¡± She kisses me softly and I look at her shyly from underneath myshes. ¡°So, are you going to tell me your condition now? I smack her ass as she runs off to jump down onto the bed. I wait a few seconds for my hard-on to settle and go make myselffortable next to her. She might never realize it, but she gave me the biggest gift that anyone can give¡­ hope¡­ Hope for a future with a woman I know I will dearly love. Yes, our road ahead is going to be very bumpy, but alongside, it can be ovee. I just want to spend every minute I can with her locked in my arms where she belongs. It is like a breath of fresh air has blown through our lives. We are finding each other in so many other ways. I take her face between my hands and look beyond her blue eyes; what lies there is what I am feeling deep in my heart. I have never been so certain about anything in my life before. ¡°Soldier.¡± ¡°Yes, boo?¡± ¡°Who was the man at the pub today?¡± Chapter 162 Laying My Stake I have never been able to control my temper; it is just one of those things that Ethan Hunter cannot do. Now, I find myself furious and pissed off. Yet Ana has no idea, and I am not giving her one either. So much to her irritation, I ignore her very questions and rise to my feet, and head for the door. I hear her snap after me, ¡°Where are you going?¡± ¡°I have something I need to sort out.¡± So, it seems that some people cannot do their work, so I am the one left that needs to clean up this mess¡­ Once and for all! Now I can not go and kill the man, yet I am going to convince him rather persistently that he needs to take serious what I say. Am I being reckless? Yes, of course, there is no reasoning with me when I find myself when I am boiling over from anger. I know that it would have been a fairly good idea to have brought Gibbs with me, but I was too one-tracked-minded to make a sensible decision. And right now, I am not going to back off and go hide in my corner. Ethan Hunter does not hide, and he does not share either. So it is with great confidence but a nagging voice in the back of my head that I find myself driving to the address that I so friendly drew out thedy in the admin office only hours ago. I am making a very bold and risky move here. I can simply not lose Ana. But, I can easily lose my life for doing what I am set to do. As I look at myself in the rearview mirror, I can see eyes that hold a slight hint of fear. Ethan Hunter does not feel fear; I will im what is mine today. So, I flip my sunsses down and hide the eyes that wish to deceive me. And it is in his very driveway that I am now pulling up my car. Yet, I am not sure if I this is where it should be. That is very soon confirmed as I watch him exit through the front door. The man must be truly stupid just to walk out like that in the open; it will take me only but five seconds to take him out and have my ass out that gate again. Now, that does sound like a n, but I shall rather settle this like the gentleman that we both im we are. It is with very careful but still somewhat hesitant steps that I bring the car to a stop right in front of his door. I give myself a quick once-over nce in the rearview mirror again and exit the car. ¡°What is it that I can help you with, Hunter? You are very brave to show your face here.¡± ¡°I can say the very same thing about you.¡± I watch as he furrows his brows and adjusts his pants where I am assuming he is hiding his gun, ¡°What can I help you with, Hunter?¡± ¡°I came here to talk to you man-to-man about my wife.¡± He bursts out in a fit of uncontrobleughter that only but winds me up again, yet, I let it go and wait for him to get whatever he seems to find so amusing of his chest. Then he continues, ¡°Yes, about that. It will be very kind of you if you hand her over now.¡± Something in me snaps, and I am on the edge of falling into that abyss of anger, but Ipose myself and continue to answer, ¡°She is not a piece of property that you can hand over.¡± ¡°Well, then, would you kindly hand my wife over.¡± I only take but a deep breath and count from three¡­two¡­ one, ¡°Can we discuss this like civilized men in your home. I do not wish to stand and have an argument with you on your doorstep.¡± He reluctantly shows for me to enter, taking me through one rather big andvish lounge furnished in all but white. Well, that is truly the dullest thing I have ever seen and rather sore on the eye. Yet, the bar where we find our final destination does get more than one nce from me. The man does have one impressive collection of whiskey. And so he offers, and I will humbly ept in the hope that he will not be poisoning me today. Once we both have a chilled ss in hand, we take a seat opposite each other. ¡°So,¡± he begins. ¡°Let me get this straight. You have a nerve showing your face here, and you wish to discuss our wife.¡± ¡°Well, if you have to put it so pleasantly. Yes. I am here to tell you that you cannot have Ana.¡± I watch as there is a re-up of what I can only assume is irritation and maybe a bit of anger on his face. ¡°You are telling me?¡± ¡°Yes, Brendan, that is what I said. Ana and I are set to get married, and I wish for you to consider your arrangement as null and void.¡± Now, if I thought that talking to him like a gentleman is going to get me anywhere, I am sadly mistaken, for he immediately takes a hostile stance. He always uses to be a hothead as a teenager, and he has not yet outgrown to urge to throw a fit. I guess that we havee to that point where things are now going to be ugly. ¡°Hunter, you can screw yourself.¡± ¡°Well, Mark, you can go fuck yourself.¡± He smirks at me as he tosses his shot of whiskey to the back of his throat, ¡°That is not going to happen.¡± ¡°I am afraid that it is. You will note near Ana.¡± ¡°I truly think that you do not have a choice, Ethan. Do you think that you cane in here and demand things from me?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think Mark. I know.¡± I take a sip of the chilled whiskey and ce my ss on the table. ¡°I am telling you that you will stay away from Ana.¡± ¡°And if I don¡¯t?¡± ¡°Then you will see what happens.¡± He stands up to fetch the bottle of whiskey and pour us both another shot; while he is away from the table, I slip my hands into the back of my pants and grip firmly onto my gun. Just before he makes his way back, I slide it and ce it under my jacket that is lying next to me on the table. As he sits down, I can see that his face has grown with more anger than it held before. Well, I guess he cannot control his either, and mine is just about to snap. But I am not here to cause a problem, and most of all not even start one, though as he continues. ¡°This is how it is going to work, Hunter. You are going to hand the bitch over, or I wille to fetch her.¡±All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. And that is me; all restraint that I was holding together rips loose by the seams, ¡°You. Do. Not. Call. My. Wife. A. Bitch.¡± And in an instant, I have slipped my hand underneath my jacket and am holding a Ruger firmly pointed at Mark¡¯s face. Yes, perhaps I lied. I came here with the full intention to show him that I mean what I am saying. And it gives me great satisfaction to see the terror that has now crept into his eyes. Then after what seems a good five minutes, Mark finds his voice to speak again, ¡°You are ying a dangerous game, Hunter.¡± ¡°Nobody touches my woman. Least of all you. Now,¡± I lift my gun but an inch higher to line it perfectly with his temple, ¡°You will leave Ana alone.¡± ¡°You,¡± in what seems to be a very slow five seconds, Mark reaches for his own piece and aims it straight at my forehead, hoping to catch me fumble, yet he does not know that I am far fucking better than he is. As he sees that I am not moving, he starts to speak again, ¡°You have made a big mistakeing here.¡± ¡°No,¡± I shake my head at him and raise my voice. ¡°You have made a mistake not taking what I have asked you into consideration.¡± I keep eyes level and stare him down, waiting for him to falter, though he holds his gun firmly, so I only but take mine and move it to him even closer. It seems that only one of us will see the end of the day. I have taken that step and walked straight over that line without even blinking. I have said this before, and I will continue to repeat it. I will not lose Ana. And perhaps I should repeat it to this man that seems to be as thick as a fucking doornail, ¡°I am not asking you again, Mark. I need for you to leave Ana alone.¡± Then there is a shatter as the ss tumbles to the floor. I watch as Mark rises from his seat. ¡°My name is not Mark, and you are not leaving alive here. You just made your biggest mistake.¡± Chapter 163 Never Underestimate Love They say a man¡¯s life shes before his eyes when he is staring death in the face; well, I say it is bullshit. All that is staring me in the face are the barrel of a Ruger. Now, did I foresee this happening? Well, of course, I did note here to have a goddamn tea party. What was a casual exchange of threats has now only stepped up one level to where I am about to have my head blown off. Yet, this man underestimates my determination. I havee too far and too long to have Ana by my side; there shall be no one thates between us. Now I do not know who this man is, but he ims that he is not Mark, well I don¡¯t care who he frankly is. ¡°You can go right ahead and blow my brains out as much as you like, but you will not get Ana.¡± Well, now if I thought that he would listen, it only makes him more furious. With somewhat of a slight tremble, his voice reaches a pitch higher and echoes to every corner of the room, ¡°Oh, believe me, I am going to blow your brains out, and then I am going to take your precious Ana.¡± It takes all my control not to burst out inughter; this man clearly does not know, ¡°That precious Ana would not think twice to end your miserable life. The moment you pull that trigger, you will set something in motion that you will not be able to control.¡± The idiot is now bravely stepping one step closer. There is a wildfire burning in his eyes, ¡°I will do whatever I need to get what is mine.¡±N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. Well, let us just clear one thing up, ¡°So please enlighten me, if you are not Mark, and I know you are definitely not Paul, then who that fuck are you?¡± ¡°Brendan.¡± ¡°And I am guessing that you are another¡­¡± ¡°The oldest of the three brothers. And the brother that was supposed to have gotten married to your dear wife.¡± Well, he is still clearly the same idiot he was a few moments ago; he has not yet learned to shut his mouth and listen, ¡°You will note near Ana. Can you not get this into your head?¡± ¡°Then my head must be as thick as yours, for I said that I would take whatever I want. And as I see it, Hunter, you are not leaving here today.¡± He grips his gun with the other hand and points it firmly at the center between my eyes, then he continues with the utmost rage in his voice, ¡°You do note into my house and disrespect me.¡± Now, if he thought that it would scare me shitless or make me even move an inch, he is sadly mistaken. I have killed far more men in my lifetime than he has ever seen; his little intimidating act is not even going to get a rise out of me. I came here with a purpose, and it seems that the n behind the purpose has just changed. So with only but one hand, I still hold my gun steady, not even blinking an inch. From what I can gather, dear old Brendan needs to grip two hands to obtain the perfect aim. And yes, I do find this amusing. ¡°It seems that you have some trouble handling your gun, Brendan. Whenst did you have that barrel against someone¡¯s head?¡± ¡°I am not a ruthless killer as you, Hunter.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I only but smirk at him as I see the sweat starting to build on his forehead. ¡°I see that as taking what I want, and most of the time, it is mine.¡± I watch as his hands start to begin to falter, he is cracking under pressure. I cannot help but smile to myself as I watch him crumble. As he seems to start losing that grip, I start to ready myself for my next step. But then he speaks again, ¡°I am getting back what is mine?¡± I only butugh at him as I make one step closer, ¡°And what makes you so sure of that?¡± ¡°Because I am going to blow your fucking brains out.¡± There is aplete silence that falls over the room; I can hear his short rapid breaths. His is taking strain; his heart is pounding at a rate that his body can¡¯t handle. Brendan is weak, and he is vulnerable; he is aplete nobody. But there begs the question, do I truly want to take the life of a man that has not done any wrong to me? Well, yet, he wille for Ana. Though, he still has much to say, ¡°So the great Ethan Hunter married the Jenkins family whore?¡± And that is me, that restraint I thought I hadposed, snaps. There is no fucking way I am dropping this. But what is about to drop is Brendan¡¯s gun as his hands are now truly shaking out of control. So with what seems like it is almost an inch of a second, I reach out my free hand and grip the barrel of his gun firmly in my hand. It only but takes one snap of his wrist, and I have him disarmed. He stumbles backward into a counter; there is a horror that creeps into his eyes. With only in an arm¡¯s length in his reach, I press the tip of the barrel against his forehead, ¡°If you move, then you are fucking dead.¡± But in almost an instant, I watch as Brendan grabs a smaller gun strapped to his chest. Once again, with both hands, he aims straight at my forehead. Then I hear a click as he closes his eyes. I stand firmly; I take the grip of my Ruger tight into my hands. The coldness of the steel sends adrenaline racing through my body. There is no greater feeling of power that surges through your veins. I feelpletely invisible as I focus my eyes on Brendan. With only a slight touch of the trigger, there is a bullet that enters the chamber. I can feel it move as smooth as silk; then, what seems like less than an inch second, the gun slightly jolts as the bullet snaps out the chamber. I watch it travel with perfect precision and pierce into Brendan¡¯s soft skin. As he falls backward, I move closer and pump another one in his chest. ¡°Now fucking move again, and I will kill you without hesitating.¡± Satisfied that I have gotten my message through, I slowly drop the barrel of my gun; I take my jacket and fling it over my shoulder. I make my way out the front door and get into the car. As I bring it to a roar, I can feel that adrenaline still pumping through my veins. That was intense and damn well crazy. It is with great anticipation that I finally stop in my driveway. I watch as Anaes rushing outside with clear worry on her face. And it is this very Ana that I need to apologize for my behavior in just running out on her the way I did before. Now, if she is going to approve of what I have done, well, that remains to be seen. But as I move on closer to her, she immediately leaps forward and locks me in her arms. ¡°You know you are fucking crazy. Please don¡¯t tell me it is true.¡± ¡°Boo, you know that I will do anything to protect you.¡± ¡°I wish that you did not have to do that, but I should say thank you.¡± ¡°Ssshhh, boo. Everything is okay now.¡± She pulls me into a fiery and passionate kiss. She devours me with a patient hunger, possessing me soft and slow. Passion explodes through my veins as I whimper. ¡°I love you, princess. I love you so damn much.¡± ¡°Boo, I cannot live without you, princess. I know that now more than ever. Some peoplee into your life for a short period, while others are destined to stay till the end. You are one of those people that are destined to stay until the end.¡± I feel as my shirt starts to stain wet from her tears as she nestles her head into my chest. Then I continue again, ¡°I¡¯m not ever going to let you out of my life again; you are a perfect representation of all the beautiful things in my life. You have always been the reason for my persistent smiles and happy moments in difficult times. I will never love you any lesser than this. I know my feelings for you will continue being doubled and tripled.¡± Then she looks up and finds the depths of my eyes, ¡°Soldier.¡± ¡°Yes, boo?¡± ¡°Forget that condition.¡± ¡°Boo, you never told me what the condition was,¡± then I pause for a brief moment. Yet something does not make sense. ¡°Boo, how did you know about Brendan?¡± Chapter 164 To The Man I Love ¡­Ana POV¡­ Ethan has left the room; he seems angry and is about to burst out in a fit of anger. I know the truth needs to be revealed, but he is scared beyondpare, and right now, I am thest person that he wants to see. So as he leaves the driveway, I grab afy nket and my notebook to start nning for the arrival of our little Hunter Junior. But I soon find myself writing him a letter. ¡°My dear Ethan, For days I¡¯ve been looking for the right words to express my feelings to you. To the man I love. And I hope I won¡¯t disappoint you because there is so much I would like to say to you, and there are not enough words to exin my deepest thoughts about you. Thank you for entering my life when I least expected it and when I most needed it. Thank you for regaining my hope when I¡¯d almost given up on my dreams to find someone with whom I¡¯d share myughter and tears and with whom I won¡¯t be afraid to be who I truly am. I know it wasn¡¯t that easy when we first met. I admit that I was too stubborn. I guess I was too afraid of getting hurt, so my heart unwittingly fought my brain, keeping me alert all this time. But, somehow, you seeded in destroying this barrier between my past and the present. No matter how hard I pushed you away, you fought harder to get closer. And I thank you for that. I thank you for not giving up on me and for making an effort to prove to me that I was worth the fight. And I¡¯m sorry for making it so hard for you to reach my heart. I want you to know that I am grateful for your every single word and gesture that made me feel special and loved. Thank you for believing in me when I found it hard to believe in myself. Thank you for encouraging me that I could do whatever I wanted, only if I chose to. I know that sometimes I can be overly self-critical and annoying, and I want you to know that I appreciate your every second of trying to prove to me that I was wrong. I know it¡¯s not that easy to prove to me that I¡¯m wrong, but no matter how hard it got, you simply wouldn¡¯t give up on me. No matter what I said to you, you always found a way to protect me from the nonsense of my own thoughts. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for warming up my toes when we curled in bed together and for holding me tight in your arms till the morning while sleeping in the most ufortable position. And thank you for never forgetting to give me a good morning kiss the moment you opened your eyes. I want you to know that as long as I¡¯m in your arms, I¡¯ll always feel protected. I feel like nothing can ever hurt me because you protect me with the power of your love. Our love. I know that our love is not perfect, but it¡¯s everything I have ever wanted. You¡¯re everything I¡¯ve ever wanted. I¡¯m far from being perfect, just like you, but when we¡¯re together, I get the feeling that everything is the way it should be. You don¡¯t force me to change; I don¡¯t force you to change. Weplement each other. We fight. We cry together. We forgive ourselves. We keep loving each other. Thank you for not trying to make it perfect because this is exactly how love should be. Thank you for not giving up on our love after one small obstacle. Thank you for apanying me through the darkest alleys and experiencing my biggest fears, and still choosing to stay with me. Thank you for staying with me. I know I¡¯m not that easy to love, and I want you to know that I appreciate your determination to be there for me when I least deserve it and when I need it most.Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. Thank you for staying with me when all my actions are telling you otherwise. I know it¡¯s not easy to stay reasonable when something bad happens, and I know that it takes a great man to choose to. Thank you for listening to me and always giving your best to give me perfect advice and help me with everything. Thank you for sharing joy with me and being honest with me even when it is extremely hard to do so. Thank you for surprising me. You always try hard to remember all of my preferences, and you always surprise me with a perfect gift. You know that I don¡¯t ask for much and even if you¡¯ve just picked a flower on the way back home, I¡¯ll be perfectly satisfied with it. I appreciate your every effort to make my day more special with those little surprises, like giving me a kiss when I least expect it and hugging me from the back when I think that you¡¯re not there. You know, sometimes I fight really hard to fall asleep because my reality is finally better than my dreams. You are my dreame true, and I want you to know that I love you the way you are. Don¡¯t ever think that I don¡¯t notice all of these little things and the big ones you keep doing for me. Don¡¯t ever think that I will love you less if you show me your vulnerable side. You don¡¯t need to be strong all the time. I want you to know that I will always be there for you, just like you¡¯ve been there for me. Whatever happens, we¡¯ll go through it together like we¡¯re doing so now. Our love will be our guide, our light at the end of the tunnel, so please, never stop believing it. As long as we believe in the beauty of our love, our light will shine forever. Whatever happens, our love will conquer it because it is the most powerful force in the entire universe. Thank you for giving me love that is capable of moving mountains. Thank you for giving me love that is selfless. Thank you for giving me love that has made me the best version of myself. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for opening your heart to me and for fighting hard to win mine. I will always carry in my soul the feeling of warmth I get when we look each other in the eye, unable to blink or move because I get so mesmerized by it. That feeling will stay with me as long as I live, and it will serve as a reminder of our two hearts that have be one. Promise me that we¡¯ll always water our love just like a flower and never let it wither. Promise me that our love will never be too perfect and that we¡¯ll always love each other the way we are. Promise me that we¡¯ll continue watching the stars together while impatiently waiting for the sunrise to rece the moon. Promise me that we¡¯ll keep contradicting each other and keep being stubborn because it¡¯s just our way of improving things, of improving us. I want you to know that I¡¯ll always love your weird habits, just like you love mine. I will always have a special ce in my heart for you because you¡¯re not like anybody else I have ever met. You¡¯re a dreame true. Thank you for making my life a fairy tale.¡± And with that, I see him pull back into to driveway, and as hees to stand in the door, he looks at me, ¡°So tell me about that condition before you tell me about this lie.¡± I only but hesitates for a brief moment, then I slowly continue, ¡°I wanted to name little Hunter Junior after my dad.¡± And with that, I can see his heart crumble into pieces¡­and for a brief moment, he forgets, yet not, ¡°Boo, how long have you known that Brendan was on base?¡± He stares at me with eyes that are not only but hurt but also angry. How is it that I continue hurting the man that I love, I can write him a love letter from the heart, yet it is my own very heart that seems to be rotten? I have been a bad girlfriend, and I am going to prove to be an even worse wife. So as he stands in front of me with nothing but question in his eyes, I find it within myself to give him the answers it is that he deserves, so not having to hesitate further, I move only but inches closer, yet he moves away. ¡°Soldier, please don¡¯t be mad, but he was here.¡± I go quiet again, but as I speak, I can see that Ethan wishes that I never did at all, ¡°Soldier, there is something I need to tell you. Brendan thinks that¡­¡± And I swear he fucking passes out. Chapter 165 Who Is Your Man? The silence has suffocated the room; you can hear a pin drop. The anticipation that I am about to lose my restraint is a possibility that lies high in the tense air of the room. I have yet not even listened to what Ana has to say, but the mere fact that the man was in my house is enough to set my blood ame. Does this woman not understand the concept of a boundary, the whole idea of not letting people into our home that is not wee here? How am I supposed to trust her when I get deployed? God knows I love her, but sometimes she drives me insane. Can she not think? Can she simply not put together what is right and what is wrong? So as she still tries to speak for what I think I do not want to hear, I make my way to our room before Ipletely blow up. The raging anger that is suffocating every corner of my body lets loose like a beast. As far as my feet take me, every single object that finds itself in my path shatters in pure brute force against the wall. The chair finds its way through the room. There is ss shattering into fragments of nothing. I ram my fist with a hatred so raw in the mirror, hundreds of pieces cutting at the skin of my hand. Iyplete destruction to everything that is and was a part of her until I can say that for now, for this minute, I shall be rid of any thought. And when it returns into the passages of my memories, I shall do it again and again until every trace of it has been taken from my life. I am angry; I am furious. But this thought only but exists for a few moments, and her very words find their way back into the very ce I do not want it to be, it is in my head, and I want it out. And out is what I want her to be¡­out of sight, yet she is not leaving me alone. ¡°Soldier, please just listen to me.¡± With trying my hardest, I try not to snap, ¡°Ana, I am not arguing. I am so done over arguing with you. Can we not just be happy?¡± I pause for a brief moment, then I ask the question, ¡°What else have you not told me? Why was this man at our house?¡± ¡°He came to warn me against Mark.¡± ¡°Bullshit! He told me that he wanted you back.¡± ¡°I¡­well,¡± she hesitates for a brief few moments. ¡°I did date him before I married Mark.¡± I take one deep breath and try not to snap at her again, ¡°You are not telling me something. Don¡¯t fucking lie to me. I just shot a goddamn man for you.¡±All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. With that, I go quiet, waiting for her to say a thing, then as she starts again, ¡°I am not married to Mark.¡± ¡°Yes, that I know Ana.¡± ¡°No, Ethan. I was never married to Mark.¡± Counting back from three¡­two¡­one¡­ one more deep breath again, ¡°Who the fuck were you married to then?¡± ¡°Brendan¡­I was always married to Brendan.¡± ¡°You. Were. Fucking. What?¡± As I try to find my voice again, there is nothing but anger that fills every part of my being. ¡°Please exin this to me.¡± ¡°They thought that it would be funny to swop grooms at the wedding.¡± She pauses for a brief while between short, stuttered breaths, ¡°You see how much they look like each other.¡± ¡°Come on! Ana! How can you not know your own fucking husband? Stop telling me goddamn shit.¡± Then she finally gives in, ¡°Fine, I married Brendan as from the start, but then he left, and then Mark stepped in.¡± ¡°Oh my god, this is fucking sick! Is this from some goddamn hill billy movie? Why?¡± ¡°Because I was pregnant with Brendan¡¯s child, and Mark promised to be the father.¡± ¡°But then you lied to me!¡± Thest of my control steps out the door as I watch her crumble in front of me. ¡°Who are you really? I have no idea who my wife is.¡± Then just for a short while, I give in and gently touch her hand, but the sooner I pull it away, ¡°What is it that you were saying about what he thinks?¡± ¡°He¡­¡± With that, there is a knock at the front door. I can honestly say the person on the other side is going to wish that they did not juste to disturb me. My marriage is not even a full two days old, and I am already finding out that my wife is not whom she said that she is supposed to be, and then to make it even worse, she wants to keep on telling me a lie upon a lie here. Well, fuck this. So as I go to open that door, I am hoping to find another version of Mark or even perhaps Paul there. God, there might even be a fourth brother that I do not know of. Perhaps this is actually the father of her baby. She seems to have gotten around in the Jenkins family. Ya, I am being a dick. But putting that aside for the door is not banging. So with nothing but a growl, I swing it open, ¡°What?¡± And so it is with that I stare what I knew my fate would be the moment I set my foot in the home of Brendan. I perhaps thought that there would be a side of me that could get away, that could have done what I did and not suffer the consequences. Or perhaps, I just should not have done it in the first ce. But ya, shoulda woulda coulda¡­not going to help me now. ¡°Ethan Hunter,¡± his voicees through firm, ¡°You need toe with us.¡± From behind me, I hear Ana shout in horror as they m a pair of cuffs on my wrist. As I nce over my shoulder at the woman that will keep on being my downfall, I have nothing but pain in my eyes, yet I am pleading. Just as they are about to whisk me out the door, shees rushing towards us, ¡°I will get you out, soldier.¡± ¡°Ya, Ana, you got me into this. Don¡¯t worry; I am a big boy; I can find my feet around this one.¡± Ya, I am being a dick. With that, they lead me to the car; it is with each hesitating step that I take that I know that I am headed straight to my doom. I have, by all honesty, just messed up my career as a Marine. Why the fuck did I go into this man¡¯s house and shot him? I don¡¯t know what I was thinking, but from where I am now sitting in the back of this cruiser, I know that what I was thinking was a whole lot of shit. So taking the drive to the station, it is hard to keep my head held up high when men that look up to you see you being driving like a criminal, a mad man, a man that has lost all control. There is a fine line between protecting the woman you love and bing a monster with a gun. And I¡­I became that monster; I was not protecting anyone but my own ego when I put a bullet into a man that really did not do any wrong. And with that, we finally pull into the station, there is an odd face here and there that recognizes me, yet their embarrassment is even far great than my own that they do not even bother to greet me. Why would they? I have gone from the normal to the brink of insanity. Stepping inside the station, they disarm me from the very gun that I used to shoot fucking Brendan. After stripping me down to nothing but my cks and a shirt, they take my fingerprints that will now sit in the criminal side of Pendleton. What a fucking shameful day this is for the great Ethan Hunter. Leaving the interviews forter, they lead me to the cells. As I step down the stairs into the dark hole that shall be my home for the next few days, the first thing that overpowers me is the suffocating coldness that fills the air. The walls are covered in green algae from the constant rain thates spilling in from the outside. The floor is but only covered in mud; you shall not find a bed or even a chair to sit on. There is no living thing that makes its way through here, not even a rat. And as for the smell, the only thing you shall smell is your own fear. This is by far the worst ce you shall ever find yourself in.Now the question begs, am I going to survive in here? Chapter 166 Uninvited Feelings As the shadows grow longer, I exhale deeply. Night ising, and it feels both a shelter and an interminable hole where I find myself. Wherever I turn in my life, it seems that all the exits are blocked, the options for freedom or choice dwindling or limited. The drumbeat and drone of a persistent hopelessness y out their mournful rhythm. Life is closing down on me. All throughout life, I get these rippling tidal waves of doubt, fear, and loneliness. I tend to put myself down more than I can get myself up. I see the world with a grain of salt because I have been dangerously walking through a road covered by fog. There is the tendency to give up rather than push on until the fog has cleared. The worst part of it all is when a forkes in the road, and both paths fill me up with crippling resistance. With the uninvited feelinges the darkest moments in my life. What is my purpose?¡± That question haunts and taunts me like the skeletons in my closets. It makes me question the reality I am living. I can say that I have been through times where I have wanted to give up, where I have seen my present and forgotten that I had a future. I saw my tears and saw the disappointment I had for myself. I found myself worthless in the eyes of others and felt that it was me against the world. I have opened Pandora¡¯s box and found myself in a hole of despair where light shall not soon be seen. I nearly killed a man. I nearly killed a man because my wife kept secrets from me. This seems to be the story of my life. Weareall living stories.And let¡¯s face it ¡ª everyreally good storyis far from t. Everybody loves a juicy tragedy. A frightful thriller. Until, of course, it¡¯stheirtragedy ortheirfright. But that¡¯s a damn shame because who knows? All of my scary and tragic shitcouldbe prepping me to tell one helluva good story. That¡¯s why I belong here. Right here, wherever I am.No, I know.Life sucks, and the shit I am going through is terrible. I¡¯m not denying any of that. But I walked into a man¡¯s house and held a gun to his head. Now I have a slightly confused Ray that has rushed to my side, and let me tell you that the man is disappointed to the depths that I stooped. ¡°For godsakes, Ethan, could you just not reason with the man? You fucking nearly killed someone that was, okay; I believe he was armed, but still. This is not what a Marine does. This is not the code.¡± With a head that only drops down to my feet, I find it hard to describe to him what it was what I was thinking, yet I cannot tell him, ¡°I wish I could give you a reason, and perhaps telling you that I was fucking angry is not reason enough.¡± ¡°Ethan,¡± he slowly reaches out andys his hand gently over mine. ¡°You can lose everything that you have worked for.¡± Then he pauses for a brief moment, ¡°You are the talk at the top right now, and I can tell you the man is not happy.¡± ¡°Ray, how do you exin that you were trying to protect your family? Yes, I could have used my fists¡­¡± And then he immediately stops me, ¡°You could have used nothing. The fact is that you should have spoken to Ana before you went there.¡± ¡°Ray, I somehow think that it would not have made a difference, for I still would have gone.¡± Believe me, here where I am; I have lost hope. I know what it¡¯s like to doubt I have got much more than even an hour left in you ¡ª let alone a whole ¡®another day. Yet here I am. Making into my own darkness. And I don¡¯t know if there is a way out. Now, I don¡¯t believe thatanypain or despair is ¡°meant to be.¡± But this was my own doing. ButIget to decide whether or not I am going to let my wounds go ahead and dictate who I am. Or if I¡¯ll use them to change my life for the better. I am not my wounds.Hell, I am not even my blood or my scars or my pain. So as Ray shifts one inch closer to me, ¡°Ethan, I don¡¯t know how we are going to get you out of this one unscaffed. If the man by some miraclees forward and say that it was all an ident.¡± ¡°Well, Ray, once is an ident¡­Twice constitutes as doing it on purpose.¡± Then I pause for a brief moment, ¡°Where is the fool in any case?¡± ¡°He is in recovery. Let us just say your poor ass shooting only got him two minor wounds in the chest and shoulder.¡± I cannot help but burst out in a fit ofughter, ¡°That was just enough to make the bastard hurt. Guess that one blew up in my face.¡± ¡°Why the fuck did you note to me? You know that I would have helped you sort out the shit.¡± ¡°Ya, then we both would have been sitting here. Now, what do they intend to do with me overnight?¡± ¡°Well, and god, it is fucking hrious, but they are seeing you as a threat.¡± ¡°A man that can barely fucking walk, a threat?¡± ¡°Hey, you just shot a man twice; you are a threat.¡± This is not going to be easy where I find myself. It feels like I am breaking down in a million pieces, yet you shall not see my fear. But I am not discouraged. I know that I belong here. It can be my downfall if I let it. Even when I am going through the darkest days that feel longer than you ever could have imagined, hope is not extinct. There is still a ce for hope to thrive. There is a way for me to do much more than only survive. Even if I feel too weary and used up, my story isn¡¯t over. There are so many chapters. I don¡¯t need to have my storyline neatly packed away or tied up with no loose threads. If I am breathing, my story is still alive too. Let it wander freely. Don¡¯t worry about it running wild. Perhaps a little recklessness would do my whole life a world of good. Perhaps not shoot a man. ¡°So,¡± I look at Ray, ¡°What am I looking at here?¡± ¡°Attempted murder. I am not sure of you sentence, with you will be dishonorably discharged. Your live Ethan, it is fucking over.¡± I throw my hand through my hair and growl from the depth of my chest. ¡°How the fuck can I be so stupid. I have lost everything, every-fucking-thing. Ana, the baby, and the Marines. These fucking Jenkins men have been nothing but a thorn in my side.¡± ¡°Hey,¡± Ray grabs me by the shoulder, ¡°There is light out of here, just don¡¯t give up. I will go find this Brendan and speak to him. I can¡¯t make you any promises, but we can at least fucking try.¡± Every single one of us could live our lives out like a sad sob story. There¡¯s more than enough pain to go around for that.But maybe what nobody ever told you is that you don¡¯t have to be defined by your broken dreams. I am a living, breathing story. Yes, and I am on the goddamn front page of the newspaper. But nobody else can live my tales like me. They can¡¯t tell my story. Not like I can. Living, breathing stories, moving about time and space in endless ways. Don¡¯t you think there¡¯s some kind of magic in the vast experience we so often write off to monotony? What if I knew and honestly believed that the broken chapters of my story wouldn¡¯t be my ending? What would I do differently if I fully knew that this is not the end for me? Or that my story might even live on if I write a great one?N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. So as I take this thought in that Ray believes there is hope, I cannot help butugh at him, for all I do is feel hopelessness, ¡°Ray, I just don¡¯t want to lose my family. I know I have lost my career, but I will die if I have to lose my baby.¡± ¡°Ethan, just wait until I speak to the man. But as I say, I can promise you the world, and the world is not letting you out of here tonight. So I guess you must start making yourselffortable; you are in for a long one.¡± Ya, maybe my story feels dark and irredeemable right now. I hope I choose to turn things around anyway. Because thereisa ce for me. I belong here. In this space where there is nothing but darkness and despair. I might feel a little or a lot like an outcast, but outcasts have a secret the rest of the world still hasn¡¯t understood.My wounds are a deep opportunity for my purpose. My tears are another reason to see another day.Itwon¡¯talways be like this forever. Youwon¡¯talways feel dark and alone. There are better things ahead, much greater than any sting. And my losses add insight to my purpose. I don¡¯t have to feel it today. But if you hang on and seek out my magic, you¡¯ll live through a more brilliant chapter than I ever imagined. I will live to see another day and let my story run free. And free is what I am not going to be today. But just as Ray is about to get up, I have Ana entering. Her face is thest I wish to see right now. Yet she walks on over to this dark hole, then she softly whispers¡­ Chapter 167 Crazy Marine Monsterse in all shapes and sizes. Some of them are things you are scared of. Some of them are things that look like things you used to be scared of. Sometimes monsters are people that you should be scared of, like take me, for instance¡­ A crazy Marine with a gun. Fear isn¡¯t so difficult to understand. After all, weren¡¯t we all frightened as children? Nothing has changed since Little Red Riding Hood faced the big bad wolf. What frightens us today is exactly the same sort of thing that frightened us yesterday. It¡¯s just a different wolf. Just a different man. It¡¯s true; I am afraid. I am afraid of the world moving forward without me, of my absence going unnoticed. Is it selfish? Am I such a bad person for dreaming of a world that ends when I do? I don¡¯t mean the world ending with respect to me, but every set of eyes closing with mine. It is as if the world needs to stop and take stock with me of what I have done wrong. I am afraid. Not of life, or death, or nothingness, but of wasting it as if I had never been. People are supposed to fear the unknown, but ignorance is bliss when knowledge is so damn frightening. I have a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, like when you¡¯re swimming, and you want to put your feet down on something solid, but the water¡¯s deeper than you think, and there¡¯s nothing there. Take it from me: If you hear the past speaking to you, feel it tugging up your back and running its fingers up your spine, the best thing to do-the only thing-is run. With my legs wobbling, I will soldier on. Shivering and sweating all over, I will keep going. Fear warns me to stop; it alerts me of an unusual event ahead. So, motivated by fear, I am running along; after all, I was created to do the unusual. One would think that having Ray and Ana by my side that I shall feel less scared of what is going to happen to me, where in fact, I am scared shitless. My greatest fear is not being able to be a Marine anymore, which that in itself is taking its own toll on me, but my greatest fear is to lose my baby. Yes, I am still very furious about what Ana has done, but it is not her fault the way that I reacted. I was foolish and just in¡­N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. Fucking stupid. It is only a matter of time before the news hits Matty, and then I would have to face a different kind of monster¡­disappointment. So, with Ray still trying his level best to get me out for tonight until I appear in court tomorrow morning, I am left with Ana, that has something to say rather urgently. Without making a big fuss about it all, I lean in closer. The hint of her perfume knocks my senses away, and it brings an agonizing pain that burns in the pit of my heart. How can I lose this¡­how can I lose the woman that I love. It is not fair on me to me her for not telling me about Brendan, though it would have been great if she did before I find out the way I did. But all of this aside, ¡°What is wrong boo?¡± ¡°Soldier, now please don¡¯t get mad¡­¡± And god, that is me. ¡°Ana, this is thest ce where you need to piss me off right now.¡± She remains quiet for several moments as she nces over her shoulder at the one Police Officer that is standing with Ray. Then she continues, ¡°I went to speak to Brendan.¡± Ya, that is me. The tone of my voice hitches three tones louder, and every single soul present snaps their heads at me, ¡°You did what!¡± ¡°Please, soldier.¡± ¡°Please, my ass, Ana. Please tell me you have a fucking good reason to have gone to him. Unless you put a gun against the asshole¡¯s head, then I want nothing to hear about it.¡± With that, I hear Ray clear his voice rather loudly as my voice, and every fucking word I say echoes through the station. Ya, that just helped my case. Yet, ¡°Why did you go there?¡± ¡°I wanted toe forward and say that it all was an ident.¡± ¡°Ana once is an ident, but twice¡­that is sort of on purpose.¡± She lowers her voice but a fraction as she looks into Ray¡¯s direction, then for whatever reason, but the goddamn woman seems rather confident of herself as she speaks again, ¡°Ray said if Brendan can say that it is an ident, and you just keep to the same story, then they might get you off.¡± I only burst out at her in a fit ofughter, once again gaining too much attention to myself, then as calmly without pissing my fucking pants, I speak to her, ¡°Next, you are going to tell me that he is going to say that I shot him out of self-defense.¡± ¡°Well,¡± she bloody nods her head in agreement, much to my sheer shock, ¡°Ray said¡­¡± I stop her immediately, ¡°When did Ray say all these things if the man was sitting here with me?¡± ¡°He was messaging¡­¡± ¡°Ya, and there I thought it was his wife. So please tell me, what the fuck else are you now hiding from me?¡± ¡°Well, I went to speak to Brendan to try to get you off on it just being self-defense, but he is reluctant because then it means that he had pulled his gun on you too.¡± ¡°Ana, really?¡± I only but shake my head at her inplete frustration. The woman is so goddamn clever, but sometimes she acts so damn dumb. So as politely as I possibly can at this present moment and realizing that I am being a dick, I pull her closer to whisper in her ear. ¡°Do you think I would have shot an unarmed man?¡± She looks at me inplete shock, and then there is light a eureka moments that go off in that tiny little head, ¡°Do you mean he had his gun on you as well?¡± ¡°Like I said, boo. I would not shoot a man just because I felt like it. He fucking pissed me off, and then he pulled his gun on me. That shit does not sit with me.¡± ¡°But,¡± she dares to even start. ¡°What did he say to piss you off so badly?¡± ¡°He called you bitch, so I fucking shot him.¡± Once again, from the side, I hear Ray clear his throat rather loudly as the Police Officer has eyes that are only growing wilder. Well, if I do not keep my damn mouth shut now, then they might hear a full confession. Yes, of course, I did what they are telling me I did, but there is no fuck that I am admitting it. So lowering my voice to a whisper again, Ana takes my hands gently into hers again, and then she continues to tell me of the n that she and Ray are trying to set up. ¡°So, I have been to seen Brendan, and like I said that he is reluctant to say that it was self-defense.¡± ¡°So I am guessing that the man wants something?¡± ¡°Well, yes, he does.¡± That restraint that I only but had a few seconds ago snaps again, and I raise my voice to an echo higher in the room. With that, the Police Officeres walking over to where Ana and I are sitting, ¡°Hunter, do you want me to take your right away to see your wife?¡± ¡°No, Sir.¡± I only but swallow deep in my throat, and with a somewhat stutter, I make eye contact with him again, ¡°She was only telling me about the baby.¡± The Police Officer only but shakes his head at me full knowing that I am fucking lying through my teeth. But once he is away again, I turn to her and wait for the great idea that she hase up with, well, rather the unreasonable request that Brendan is going toe up with. So as I patiently wait for her to say what this thing is that is going to piss me off again, I have Ray walking over to me. With only but one bug smirk on his face, I cock my head and look at him rather confused, ¡°What is that damn smile for?¡± ¡°You can go home tonight,¡± I watch as he sighs in relief, ¡°But you are going to have an Officer at your door.¡± ¡°That is fantastic. What else?¡± ¡°Well,¡± he drops his head and looks at his scuffling feet, trying to avoid my eyes, ¡°You are appearing in court tomorrow where you will be charged with attempted murder.¡± Then he pauses for a brief moment again. ¡°That is unless,¡± Then he turns to Ana, ¡°Unless Ana hase up with a n with Brendan.¡± Then next, Ana steps closer with the very words for Brendan¡¯s request on the tip of her tongue. Chapter 168 Arrogant Or Insane? There are two circumstances that lead to arrogance: one is when you¡¯re wrong and you can¡¯t face it; the other is when you¡¯re right, and nobody else can face it. Am I right for what I have done? Well, in that sick twisted way that is not about losing everything, I feel that I can justify my actions. But does this not just make me insane? See, we all have three different people living inside of us every day¡­who you were¡­who you are¡­and whom you will be. And right not, my road to whom I will be is riddled with insanity. Only but a day before, I was living the perfect life, but it seems to be right with what they say. Whenever the world throws rose petals at you, you should beware for that cosmic banana peel will suddenly appear under your foot, and you will fall on your ass. Now, Brendan has had one single request, and as it flowed from Ana¡¯s mouth, I could not help but burst out in a fit ofughter. Ya, the man wants an apology. So as we are all standing outside celebrating my victory for a short-lived freedom, Ray but only shakes his head, ¡°Come on, stick that fucking ego in your sock and get yourself out of this mess.¡± I only but growl at his mere suggestion, ¡°What kind of Marine will it make me to go grobble? I am not going to go beg for my life?¡± ¡°Well,¡± Ana steps in front of me with arms crossed over her belly, ¡°You will rather lose everything because your fucking ego tells you not to give in?¡± ¡°Boo, I am not losing the respect of my toon because I ran to a man with my tail between my legs.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± she snaps with a voice that is showing more irritation than before, ¡°So you will rather lose their respect for going to jail?¡± ¡°Boo, it is not like that¡­¡± Ray immediately interrupts as his voice echoing above the buzzle on the street, ¡°You are being goddamn ridiculous. All you need to do is go say sorry for something that you did, in fact, fucking did. Now is that so hard.¡± ¡°Well,¡± I only but chuckle at him, ¡°I might perhaps punch him then.¡± ¡°Ethan,¡± I listen as Ana¡¯s voicees through stern, ¡°You can forget about the Raiders if you want to act like a child.¡± ¡°But boo¡­¡±¡® ¡°Do not but me, Ethan. We are all going to that Hospital, and you will apologize for shooting a man.¡± I still try my best to protest, yet she wants to hear none of it. Guess, either way; I am still losing my wife and my career if I do not do as she says. So guess that ego is getting a sock, and we are going to say sorry to a goddamn asshole. Isn¡¯t it funny how we make rational excuses for being out of line? We say, ¡°Well, this¡­and that¡­happened, so it makes perfect sense for me to be feeling like this¡­and wanting to do this¡­¡±All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. Yet, to this day, I have never met a happy person who adheres to those excuses. In fact, each time I ¨C or anyone else ¨C decide to give in to ¡°rational excuses¡± that justify feeling bad ¨C it¡¯s interesting that only further suffering is the result. There is never a good enough reason for us to be out of line. It¡¯s like beating a dead horse. Been there, done that¡­ so why do we keep repeating it? Pain is going to happen; it¡¯s inevitable in this human experience, yet it is often so brief. When we make those excuses, what happens is: we pick up that pain and begin to carry it with us into the next day¡­ and the next day¡­ into next week¡­ maybe next month¡­ and some of us even carry it for years or to our graves! Forgive, let it go! It is not worth it! It is never worth it. There is never a good enough reason for us to pick up that pain and carry it with us. There is never a good enough reason for us to be out of line. Unforgiveness hurts you; it hurts others, so why even go there? Why even promote pain? Why say painful things to yourself or others? Why think pain? Just let it go! Whenever I look back on painful things or feel pain today, I know it is my EGO that drives me to ¡°go there.¡± The EGO likes to have thest word; it likes to feel superior; it likes to make others feel less than me in hopes that it will make itself feel better about my insecurities. Maybe if I hurt them enough, they will feel the pain I felt over what they did to me. It¡¯s only fair! It¡¯s never my fault; it¡¯s always someone else¡¯s. There is a twisted sense of pleasure I get from feeling this way, and my EGO eats it right up. Yet! With an awareness that continues to grow and expand each day, I choose not to feed my EGO or even go there. I still feel it at times, of course, so I simply acknowledge it and then release it. I have power and choice over my speech and actions. I do not need to ever ¡°go there¡± again. It¡¯s my choice; it¡¯s your choice. So it¡¯s about damn time we start realizing this. We are not victims of our impulses or emotions; we have the power to control them, and so it¡¯s time to stop acting like we don¡¯t. It¡¯s time to relinquish the excuses. It is time for me; as we have now pulled into the parking of the Hospital, the time for me hase to walk up to Brendan and hopefully not punch the man. Yet, by the look on Ray and Ana¡¯s faces, I might be the one that will get punched. So pushing my ego aside, I make the long walk down the corridor that shall lead me to his room. And can I tell you, the closer I get, the stares get worse? It seems that things do travel quite fast around here. Guess it is not every day that the man with his half a leg goes into a man¡¯s house and shoots him. This does beg my question, what is the purpose of apologizing if everyone already has got their version that they have been told? Well, that we shall soon find out as I reach Room 203, where a rather smirked face Brendan isying down and trying his best to chat up a nurse. Then, of course, ¡°I doubt the poof woman wants to go out with an asshole.¡± Yes, I could not keep my mouth shut for one single breath, yet he ignores my remark and continues to try to get a number out of the poor girl. Soing to her rescue, ¡°Please, can you leave us alone for a few minutes?¡± She only but chuckles as she gives me a once over up and down, ¡°Please do not shoot him again.¡± Now that does get a raise ofughter out of me, which Brendan now himself does not find amusing, yet I wave the nurse off knowing full well that outside the door, unseen to Brendan, is Ray and Ana.¡± So Brendan looks at me, turning with a rather serious face, ¡°So your wife came here to fight your battles for you. It seems that you are¡­¡± I immediately stop him, ¡°I did note here for insults, and I will fucking punch you if you do, so let us save you the broken nose and me some extra charges.¡± ¡°Fair,¡± Brendan agrees and shows for me to sit down, then he continues, ¡°Now, I am not half as bad as my brothers.¡± Ya, and I nearly choke on my own breath, but I just told him I wouldn¡¯t insult him, so I will refrain from doing it to him. Then after he watches mepose myself, he lowers his voice but a fragment ¡°Like I am saying, I am not as bad as my brothers.¡± ¡°Well, congrattion then. I think you have just been demoted from the ¡°pity¡± section to the ¡°apathy¡± one. You should check the validity of the offer and ask if anyone really cares?¡± ¡°Now, here I thought that you were not going to insult me?¡± ¡°Hey,¡± only but burst into a fit ofughter, knowing that if Ana could, she woulde around that corner and give me one heck of a smack against the head. So I stop making a clown of myself and continue, ¡°So you are saying that you are not aplete asshole like your brother.¡± I pause for a brief moment. ¡°Where are the two of them these days?¡± ¡°Mark still finds himself in jail, and Paul, well, he is around here and there. But I am not here to discuss my brothers; I am here to give you my conditions for ying alone with self-defense.¡± Chapter 169 Gut Instinct Of Your Heart Sometimes you should go on your gut instinct; that little voice that tells you to tells you what your heart says. I havee to learn that if I have done something that does not feel right, then it ended up not being right. What else I have learned is not to trust another man around your wife, well, least of all one that she was married to. Now there are two big mistakes that I have made in the past day¡­ One¡­I nearly killed a man. Two¡­I trusted my wife toe near this man. So as he is lying here, I would love to punch him, but I know around the corner I have a very eager Ray and Ana that is waiting to hear what he has got to say. And secondly¡­I really don¡¯t want to go down for assault as well. It is one thing making a mistake, yet another thing to keep making it. Now, Brendan is nearly boiling over from his own anticipation as he cannot get the words out of his mouth, so to put myself and everyone else out of our misery, I bite, ¡°Okay, what is it that you want, and I will say this again, if it is my wife, then I am fucking punching you.¡± He only but chuckles as he grabs at his chest, which I am hoping hurts like a bitch; then, after nearly couching up his own shit, he looks at me with a very confident smile, ¡°I want you to get me into the Corps.¡± Well, I was not expecting this one, so there does beg a question, ¡°What are you doing on Pendleton if you are not in the Corps?¡±¡® ¡°Staying in Mark¡¯s old ce.¡± ¡°Ah, I would have thought the Jenkins brothers are a bunch sneaky bastards just as much as they are assholes. Now why don¡¯t you just fucking join yourself?¡± Ya, and there should always be a catch behind the truth of a dishonest man. And this one, well, his catch is fucking epic. And I so want to see Ray¡¯s face as the words spill out of Brendan¡¯s mouth. ¡°You see, I cant. Like they would say¡­I am unfit.¡± ¡°Oh, please do tell; I would love to know what makes a superior man like you unfit?¡± And ya, again. Perhaps there are just certain things you do not ask, or should I say certain reactions that you do not have. Yet, even though I have a totally non-fazed look on my face, Brendan continues, ¡°I might perhaps have a mental condition.¡± Well, fuck me. I cannot stop hosing myself as the ssic look on his face fill every inch of my vision. Did the man just say mental condition, ¡°Well, I would have never guessed that? Does it perhaps run in your family?¡± He only but snaps me off as his face takes a more serious stance now, ¡°Do I need to remind you who is holding your future in his hands.¡± ¡°Well, there, I thought that we were not going toe to the threatening, but I am sure you will see it as bribery.¡± ¡°I merely see it as a business deal. You give me what I want, and I will make sure that you get what you want.¡± I only but cock my head at him with a slight bit of confusion, ¡°What do you mean what I want? Have you be a mind reader on top of a nut job as well?¡± ¡°You want a future with that little wife of yours, and the way I see it, I am the only one that can give it to you.¡± So here is where I ask myself that question. Do I want to be that type of man?N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. Am I going to give up my morals in order for a delusional man to give me something? But most importantly, am I going to allow a man in the Corps if he is not fit to be there? The sad fact is that this should be a choice that is easily made, but I have that little something inside of me that one calls dignity. How can I look myself in the mirror every day knowing what possible decision I have made? Can I put the lives of fellow Marines and our Country in the hands of a man like Brendan? Yes, someone should have told me that sometimes I will not know what to do. But those someone¡¯s doesn¡¯t always have all the answers. Life is a messed-up shit. And there should be that instinct now that tells me to listen to my heart. I have a wealth of wisdom avable that will point me in the right direction. So if something does not feel right, there will be a reason. You learn to trust yourself. So you need to know what the right direction it is to take, and if you don¡¯t, you need to explore it. But the reality here is that I do not have the time to explore and think about this. Tomorrow I need to report back where my future will be decided by thew. Or I can y it safe and let a delusional mind of a man like Brendan decide for me. So very eagerly and waiting, he taps his fingers on the bed, ¡°So, Hunter, what is it going to be?¡± ¡°Well, tell me this.¡± I pause for a brief second, not even believing that I am starting to consider this. ¡°Have you been dered as mentally ill?¡± ¡°I was in Hospital for a length of time. So I guess you can call that as dered.¡± ¡°You guess? Well, I am guessing that your guess is pretty fucking urate.¡± Taking one deep breath, I even continue to fuel his hope. ¡°Do you have any idea what will happen to both of us if they will ever find out? I might as well walk to my death tomorrow.¡± ¡°Well, do you think I will be telling?¡± ¡°Ya, that begs me to ask this question. Are you violent?¡± He remains quiet for several moments, and after about a fair amount of silence, ¡°I thought so. And let me add to that note, if Ana has to tell me that you fucking hurt her, then you are going to wish that I killed you the first time.¡± Well, I ignore his second silence and take a deep breath. This does make me wonder if I should just not take what happens to me tomorrow and sit with the resolve that I might never see my child being born, let alone spend a future with my wife. Do I really want to betray the Marine Corps? Honor. Courage. Commitment. I will fail every single value that the Marines stand for. Yes, at every turn in life, you might find yourself doing things that are not aligned with your mission. And if you find yourself going in the wrong direction, quickly correct it. But there is not correcting this decision once it has been made. I feel that, and every part of my gut instinct tells me that¡­I walked into a trap the minute I set my feet through that door. And yes, here I am, having been forced to make a turn in the wrong direction. So yet, ¡°Brendan, you do know that they will spot your lie a mile away. I might be able to get you in there¡­¡± I immediately swallow on my words¡­ Did I just fucking say that? Yet, again, ¡°You know that if I get you in there, it is on your own to keep your shit together. I cannot help you out of trouble when you find yourself into it. If I do this¡­this is a once-off deal.¡± I never thought that I woulde to a situation, to a time like this where I would go against everything. The things that my father taught me, the things I learned from men like Ray and Gibbs. Will I not be disappointing them as well? Well, the thing is, I have been presented with a situation that I have not choice but to react to. I can not ask for the help of my dad, nor can I, even though he knows of it, know, but I cannot expect Ray to make this decision for me. And I know he will not approve of this whichever way this one is going to y on out. I feel like a fucking less of a half-a-man that I have put myself in this situation. I have failed. And from here on, I will just keep on failing all over and over again. And it is with this that I have to realize that the clock is now ticking to my own demise. I either wake up tomorrow morning and be a Marine that has dishonored himself and his fellow Marines. Or even worse, I be a Marine that betrays his fellow Marines and his Country. Which one do I want to be? I am terrified of what is going to happen to Ana, our baby, and my future. I was supposed to have had a good life. I was supposed to have one crazy journey as the ultimate Marine. Where am I now? Yet, I have been one thing that counts in my favor; I have determination. And determination is going to take some creativity. Creativity is one of your greatest tools; it can help you move past any obstacle. So as dear old Brendan sit there and he awaits what I shall say next. I ask for onest thing, thest thing that I need before I throw my life away. But before I even go there, he asks with more impatience in his voice than before. ¡°So, Hunter, do we have a deal?¡± Chapter 170 The Monsters Left Behind Everything pays the price¡­even love. We are paying the price for the bad things in our past, for the bad people we have left behind. I would like to say that my past hase to haunt me, but when you truly reflect, it is Ana that has left a string of monsters behind. Now in no way am I ming her for what has happened, but I just wish that there was a point where she was more honest. Faith, well, it is a word that I truly have lost all faith in, if you may say it in such a strange way. What does a man like me do to deserve what has been thrown on my te? I did not ask for it, I did not do any wrong, it was done to me, and I had no say. Ya, let me fucking repeat it¡­Everything pays the price¡­even love¡­ We have paid the price¡­I have paid the price. Fate is what happens when you are not watching, yet karma is the way to y fate¡¯s wicked game. Now the only thing you can be sure of is yourself. What changes is everything else? The choices and the decisions that you make will remain the same. The only certainties are what you n. But that too can change; as for me, I nned to live a happy life, yet I am finding myself clinging onto Ana¡¯s hand.Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. But yes,ing back to that word faith. So as the seconds starts ticking, and I am staring this man in the eyes. Ya, fuck. So this how it is supposed to work¡­ And this is the nagging voice of Ana that ys over and over in my head¡­ ¡­¡­¡­. ¡°Let your faith give youfort when you are at your weakest, because when all is said and done, you will have faced this demon, and by doing so, you will find that this is how heroes are made. So maybe today you aren¡¯t feeling too hopeful, but I have enough hope for the both of us. My wish is for you to catch it and face what lies ahead with optimism and great hope. You are never alone, as long as I have a breath to mutter a prayer, or better yet, as you lift up your eyes in expectation. These are uncertain times, and I want you to know that you are not alone. Today, I want you to focus on that; I want you to focus on the fight and not the fright. Your own resolution to seed is more important than any other resolution. Did you know that not only is faith such a powerful thing, but also is prayer? It is such a lovely thing. Some of it is asking, some of it is confessing. Some is praising, and some are just listening to that still small voice. But prayer is such a powerful thing, for it is knowing that someone hears us! Ethan, believe and have faith that there are so many around that cares! Don¡¯t lose hope. When the sun goes down, the starse out. Nothing can separate us from our faith. NOTHING! Not sickness. Not pain. Not loneliness. Not uncertainty. Nothing can separate you from this. FUCKING NOTHING! Faith is daring to go beyond what the eyes can see. Do not fear this walk through the valley. We all have valleys to walk through. Many have been through this valley before you, and many walk in your footsteps. Do not be afraid. You are strong, and we all are with you every step of the way! The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments offort and convenience but where he stands at a time of challenge and controversy. Strength. This is what we need today and every day. We need strength, sometimes just to take the next breath. But keep your strength. ?When written in Chinese, the word ¡®crisis¡¯ isposed of two characters; one represents danger, the other represents opportunity. This is your opportunity to prove the strength you have; this is your opportunity to you can, and that you will ovee this. You¡¯re a superhero in my eyes. You¡¯re so strong and brave. Even though you¡¯ve had a rollercoaster of emotions in your life for the past year, you still find the strength to smile. You inspire me to be a braver person each and every day! Did I ever tell you what a beautiful man you are? When I say beautiful, it is not only the outward appearance but also your amazing personality and kind heart. I am d you are my husband, and sometimes I wonder what I have done to have you in my life. I am truly, madly, and deeply in love with you. You showered me with unconditional love and were there for me through all my ups and downs. You are a man stronger than anyone I know. I am not the most beautiful woman on earth; neither am I a match for your beauty. But you never made me feel any less of myself. You loved me with all your heart and trusted me with your life. This always made me strive and be the best wife for you. I am going to show you that I am here for you; we will fight this thing together. I will be carrying your faith and your prayer when you don¡¯t have the strength to. I have never told you how blessed I feel to have you in life. I love you so much that I can¡¯t express it in words. Still, let me try to tell you what you mean to me. You are the center of my life, your presence makes my dull life beautiful, and most of my memorable memories are due to you or with you. Thank God I met you; otherwise, my life would have been very sad and dull. Now I can¡¯t imagine my life without you. You are the most important person to me, and I am nothing So please, Ethan¡­ ¡­¡­¡­. I am trying. I am fucking trying! I know that we are okay, and I have realized that it is okay to be okay. For such a long time now, I have thought that it is wrong to feel okay, that it should not be okay when you are going through something like this, but then I realized that all we need to be is okay. But Ethan¡­ Fuck you for thinking you are not worthy of greatness. Why on earth do you think that you deserve anything less? What the hell is the matter with you? When are you going to start realizing that YOU are a perfect creation from the heavens here to live a brilliant life of true real unconditional love, not only from yourself but from others too? When are you going to stop settling for ¡°less than¡± and start realizingthat you deserve ¡°more than¡±? What are you hanging on to from the past that keeps you stuck living in mediocrity? When are you going to let go of all the shit you were shown and taught in the past and start living in the true magnificence that you are? Why do you keep lowering your standards? When are you going to raise the bar, draw that boundary line, hold your head up high and be epic? You truly are unique and perfect. You truly are beautiful and amazing. Why won¡¯t you show that to people and why won¡¯t you let people treat you like the amazing person you really are? Did you forget you¡¯re not a fucking doormat? Did you forget that all that crap that happened in the past needs to stay there? It isn¡¯t who you are today. You don¡¯t live there anymore. The stuff from the past strengthened you and taught you how not to be. When did you forget that? The people in your life who treat you ¡°less than¡±, why are they still in your life?Why are you hanging on to them?They don¡¯t serve you at all. They don¡¯t see your greatness and only want to keep you average. They don¡¯t want you to be greater than they are. They love to chop you up and cut you down to their level. Stop being afraid to shine your beautiful bright light to the world for all to see. Stop being sheepish and submissive. You certainly know all the greatness inside of you. You feel it all the time. You know it¡¯s there yet you still bury it and are afraid to live it. Stop doing that. There¡¯s nothing wrong or egotistical about showing off the true beauty of you. The world doesn¡¯t want you to hold that in. The world desperately wants to see it, feel it, enjoy it, and experience it with you. Fuck you for letting all those fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs keep you back from the true love and brilliant life you deserve. You learned all the lessons, didn¡¯t you? Didn¡¯t you?? You know that most of everything you were programmed to believe is all lies. You know that! Lies. You are good enough. You are smart enough. You are beautiful enough. You are special and amazing enough. When did you forget that? All those people that walked all over you and treated you like garbage, remember all those jerks? They wanted to keep you at their low level. They didn¡¯t want you to grow or expand or be awesome. They wanted to keep you sad, little, worthless, and afraid. Smarten up. Show the world who you really are. Show the world your true magnificence but most of all, show yourself some love for god¡¯s sake. Love who you are. Fuck you and your limiting beliefs. Live the life you deserve. Be fierce. Don¡¯t let anyone or anything stand in your way. Smash blocks, bust down walls, live out loud. You can do big and great things. You deserve everything you want! So as I stand here in what seems like quiet agony, I look at Brendan. Chapter 171 Just One More Time It is with only onest nce that I look over to where Brendan is sitting with one big anticipating grin on his godawful face. And as he is just about to say another word, I stop him right before he can, ¡°I will rather take my chances in court.¡± ¡°Ha!¡± He bursts outughing, ¡°Well, you have just sealed your own fate.¡± ¡°Somehow, Brendan.¡± I pause for a brief moment. ¡°Somehow, I don¡¯t think so. But hey, I will give you that for trying to get me to go back on what I stand for as a man. Guess that is why Ana is with me and not you¡­I guess.¡± Well, that just should not have been said, for the man turns red hot with anger, ¡°You are going down Hunter; your life is over.¡± ¡°We will see about that. But as good as this was talking to you, I need to go spend thest night as a free man with MY wife. I hope you enjoy your lonely bed,¡± and as I am just about to leave the room, I turn back to him, ¡°I have a feeling I will see you very soon again.¡± With that, it is in silence that Ray, Ana, and I leave the Hospital. The fact of my fate is ying over in everyone¡¯s head. Nobody wants to state the obvious failure at thest attempt that would have sealed my freedom. But I am not a man that is going to be used and forced to go back on the things that I build my life on. So as we get home, Ana leaves me to myself as I sit alone in the lounge. She knows that right now is not the time to fuss with me, and she knows that I, now more than ever, just need the space to find myself and make peace with what is about toe. When I get in the room, she is not in bed, but I can hear the water of the shower running. I make my way over to the hot and steamy shower where Isabelle is standing in nothing but her ckce panties on, tying her hair back into a bun just as she is about to step in. So not waiting for one moment, I spin her around and press her into the ss, rubbing her tight ass into me. Then I spin her back around again. I step forward, pressing her body against the ss, pinning her hands over her head. I hear her chuckle, ¡°See that you still have that thing for pinning women. But soldier¡­¡± ¡°Ssshhh boo,¡± I softly press my finger against her sweet cherry lips. ¡°I promise I will be gentle.¡± I hover my lips over the tip of her ear; the warmth of my breath makes her shiver. Then I take my hand to her trembling cheek. I stare into her deep brown eyes, and I feel her body shudder. I smile at her before I gently lean in. The sound of her heart is beating so loud that I can barely concentrate on anything else. I feel like I am going to explode. I slowly start moving my lips, breath by breath closer to hers. My eyes fall closed; all I want is to feel is her. The warmth of her touch, the sweet taste of her lips, the growing agony that she brings to my body. Without hesitation, her handse up to frame my face. Then I kiss her, a kiss so heated and intense, it burns clear to the bottom of my soul. My tongue slips through the seams of her lips, invading her angrily, passionately, capturing her lips in a deep, long kiss. Her tongue twines and strokes with mine, sweet and delicious. ¡°Soldier,¡± she softly moans. I do not answer; I want to touch her; I want to feel her skin against mine. I feel a dark, burning desire deep inside me that only she could satisfy. I want her. We pull apart for a brief second, taking shaky, shallow breaths. Then I pull her back in. The urgency and the passion seemed to have grown. My body trembles and melts; she is kissing me with a devastating thoroughness. My hands work their way around her body, along each perfect curve. Then I slowly pull away and looks into those deep brown eyes. I take her by the hand and leads her out of the shower.N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. Then I press her back into the wall behind her. With my left hand, I pin her hands above her head and drives my naked body into her, pinning herpletely so she cannot move. She gasps, and just as she is about to say my name, I bring my finger up to her lips. I can feel her warms breath rapidly breathing against the tips. She tries to speak, but I suddenly cover her mouth to make her stop She tries to free her hands, but he only pins her more firmly into the wall. Every protest she makes, makes me crave her more. Then I slide my hand over her tight ass and push her deep into my raging erection. My mouth moves away from her lips and runs slowly down her neck, then gently over her corbone; I softly bite into the edge of her shoulders. I grind myself into her as I move my lips to her ears. ¡°You are mine. No matter what happens, please remember that.¡± She lets me roam her again,ing inches close to her breasts. I can hear her breathing heavily as I move back to her lips and kiss her. Then I spin her around and drops her down to her knees. She does not protest. She trails her fingers over my ever-growing erection. Then she runs her soft, delicate hand up and down my shaft. I growl deep from my chest. Then she has my full six-seven inches filling her mouth. I grind on my teeth and utters a few strangled words underneath my breath. ¡°God, yes, boo.¡± She gently bites down on the tip of my throbbing head. Her skillful tongue dance around the tip of my pulsating head. With each flick, she sends sensations that have my toes curling and my ass squirming against the wall. She nips and nibbles; I am growing harder with every glorious movement she makes. Then her lips form a tight grip around her head, and she slowly starts to suck. I groan and whimper. ¡°Fuck, yes.¡± She sucks harder, and god does she know how to suck it just right. I watch her as her head moves back and forth, then up and down, taking me deeper and deeper with every stroke. My ass is squirming against the wall; I want her so fucking bad, so I tangle her hair in my hands and start controlling her head, making her take me even deeper and faster. I bite down on my lips and tightens my grip; under stuttering breaths, I growl. ¡°Oh, god¡­ Fuck¡­ Faster¡­¡± She hollows her cheeks and sucks me even harder and faster. Her head is bobbing on and over me. Her head is bobbling in perfect sync. Her hands and tongue are doing things I have never felt before. I can feel the tension start to build; the warm tingles are spreading over my body. I am squirming; I am throbbing; I aming undone. ¡°Yes, Isabelle, that is it.¡± I throw my head back against the wall and topples over into orgasm. My knees are shaking, and I go weak. With one big hoarse groan, Ipletely shatter and finds my release. As she gets up to go get dressed, I pull her back, ¡°Oh, Isabelle, you are not going anywhere.¡± Our eyes gradually meet; I dig my fingers deep into her flesh. Then I slowly drive in from behind her, glorious inch by inch. A growl escapes through my lips. She is soft and warm and every bit so inviting. The things she is making me feel should be a sin. I slowly start to move within her, taking the edge of the ache, but only to make it so much worse again. With every move, I m my thick erection in a little deeper but then pulling all the way out again. Then once deeper and all the way out again. I can feel her inner muscles mp around me like a hot glove. I keep up my rhythm relentlessly. Teasing her agonizingly slow. With each stroke, I slide my hot throbbing fleshpletely into her. As I drive in deeper with each thrust, I increase my pace. Her fingers drive into my tight ass as I keep taking her over and over. She surrenders to all I am doing to her; she surrenders to everything I am making her feel. Then a sh of heat spreads over my body; it feels like my entire body is blushing and on fire. For the second time, I rx into my orgasm, relishing in the wave of pleasure that is tingling over my skin. I spin her around and lead her back to the bed. Slowly I drop her down onto the bed and watch as she disappears into the soft satin sheets. She looks at me with a wicked smile on her face and whispers to me, ¡°Don¡¯t tell me that you are not done yet, Soldier.¡± I only but burst outughing at her as I fall next to her on the bed, then as my eyes find hers, ¡°Are you sure that you have that recording?¡± Chapter 172 A Glimpse Of The Past Last night was long and torturous. The end of my life kept ying over in my mind in agonizing circles, and no matter which way I looked at it, they all came to the same conclusion¡­it is over. What was Ethan Hunter has now met a certain fate. The man behind the Marine, the father, the husband¡­he hase in from the long haul and his life will from here on not exist. So as I find myself standing in the kitchen, which would be thest time that I see these four walls, I wish that just for once I had a little more sense in this thick head. In that roomys the love of my life with my unborn child and I am losing it all for the way I acted, I believed that it was the only way to protect my family. Well¡­I was wrong. And with that thought I drop two sugars in her tea and make my way back to the room. ¡°Morning, boo.¡± ¡°Hey, soldier,¡± she reaches out and gently take my hand, ¡°Did you get any sleepst night?¡±Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Was it that obvious?¡± She squeezes softly into my palm as she chuckles, ¡°You kicked more than the baby did.¡± ¡°Sorry, boo. I¡­¡± and it is hard to keep the tears away as I swallow hard at the back of my throat. ¡°I am scared. I don¡¯t think there was ever, not even when I lost my leg, that I have been this scared.¡± ¡°Everything is going to be fine soldier. Just believe it.¡± ¡°Well,¡± Iy my hand gently on her belly and whisper, ¡°You are going to have to be strong for all of us then.¡± With that she pulls me into her arms, and lock them around my shoulders. In near than an instant my worries, however brief, just seems to fade away as her embrace enfolds me with warmth and love. It there is there little things that my wife does the best, then it is smiles, hugs and kisses. They only but give me pleasure, warmth and add to those good memories that I wish I learned to treasure more now than ever. And now is what seems toe far too soon as I look up at the clock, ¡°It is time, I must start getting ready.¡± ¡°Just one more minute soldier, justy one more minute with me.¡± With that, my warm arm surrounds her as Iy next to her on the bed. She ces her head on my chest and hold onto me tightly. Gently cing a kiss on the top of her head, I draw her even closer to my body. She nuzzles her head into my neck and wraps her legs around my own. And for what seems like what can be thest time forever, I hold onto her, never wanting to let go. I wish that there are somethings that I knew now that I never really take the time to know before. They say that with every door that gets mmed in your face, that a window is opened. Well when that door was mmed in my face the minute I saw who I believed was Mark, I should have realised that the window, Ana is still there. I should have stayed and looked through that window and stayed. Which brings me to the fact that I could have walked away. I should have remembered the only most other important thing, to keep on following your dreams and pursue the life it is that you know that you deserve. But what else you need to take stock of is that your happiness is your responsibility. What have I created for Ana and me? There has never been so much tension between the warm walls of our home. The biggest lesson they teach you is that you cannot control what others say or do, but you can what you do. What I could have done was reminded myself that I am enough just the way I am for my wife. I should have reminded myself that regardless which one of the Jenkins brothers it was, that it did not matter. She loves me, this messes up man, she loves him just the way that he is. And ya¡­ As it gets time for me to get into the shower, I can honestly say that I wished that I lived more for NOW and not just for ¡®one day.¡¯ I should have enjoyed the journey more, for there really never is an destination, it is all about the ride. I fucking wish that I had moremon sense¡­ But sitting and wallowing in the shoulda woulda coulda¡¯s is not going to get me through this court appearance. So as I slide away from the warmth of Ana¡¯s body, there is a knock at the door. ¡°Boo, I think that is Ray. Please will you get it while I have a shower quick?¡± ¡°Soldier,¡± she pauses for a brief moment, ¡°I aming with you.¡± ¡°But, boo, I do not want to upset you and the baby.¡± ¡°So, then they take you away and I don¡¯t see you again for days?¡± Her voice slightly raises as she rises from the bed. ¡°I will get the door but I aming with.¡± Ya, and that is where I know that I should not argue¡­but¡­ The thing is that I perhaps did not tell her everything that happened, so yes, I am going to be in more fucking trouble than I already am. But that shall be something that will have to wait, for we are now starting to run officiallyte. So I quickly step into the shower for a brief few minutes, letting the warmth and istion take hold of my body that is now slightly starting to tremble in anticipation of what is next toe. But it is when I give myself a once-off over while I have to dress up in uniform, that is when the tears overwhelm me and I nearlypletely crash to the floor. Taking myposure again, I find Ray and Ana waiting for me in the lounge, and much to my goddamn hurting heart, Gibbs has also decided toe. Now I am already trying to not breakdown, but the manes closer and gives me a big old man hug, ¡°You are going to be okay.¡± I only but smile, ¡°Hey, at least I have a going away party.¡± Well, Ana does not find that rather as amusing as I do not wish it to sound, and she but only storms out the lounge and next, she ms the door of the room so damn hard that the windows vibrate. Ray only but shakes his head, ¡°You know that normally takes an hour to get her out there and we don¡¯t have time.¡± With that he walks past me to the bedroom, and I don¡¯t know what the fuck he whispers through that door, but she is out there in less than five minutes. And with that we leave¡­ As I close the front door behind me, I give a look over to what should be my life, knowing to where I am headed. But you make your own bed, now you fuckingy in it. But nobody mentions a single thing about what is ahead as we take the drive to the courthouse. I can see the tension on everybody¡¯s face and I can feel the angst and pain thaty thick in the air. In this car I have probably the three most important people to me, apart from Matty and my parents. Every single one of them will lose a big part of their lives when I leave today. But I don¡¯t fucking want to leave¡­I don¡¯t want to leave anybody behind. I have not even spoken that Matty or my parents since any of this has happened. But that is about to change¡­ As we pull into the parking lot at the courthouse, I can see Matty standing outside. I only but look at Ana and she nods her head. Well, between this all, being messed up in my own head, I never thought of phoning him. Ya, it sounds horrible¡­but I am suck a fucking ball of shit that is all over the ce. So the minute as I step out the car, Mattyes rushing over to me, ¡°You just have to steal all the thunder around here.¡± Then he pulls me into a hug and whispers, ¡°It will be okay.¡± ¡°Fuck, Matty, I just hope. I really messed up this time.¡± Then I pause for a brief moment, ¡°Have you spoken to mom and dad?¡± ¡°No,¡± he hooks his arm into mine as we start heading up the stairs with Ana and the rest walking behind. ¡°We will tell them if there is something to tell.¡± As we then step inside, thewyer that Ray arranged the day before,es up to me with nothing but a goddamn smile. How can the man smile at a time like this? I am falling apart. But ya, he only but takes my hand as I reach mine out, ¡°Is this the recording?¡± Chapter 173 Your Fatal Mistake There is a coldness that is starting to settle over my heart in anticipation of what is about to unfold in this courthouse which I am terrified to set my feet in. From what I can gather as I am standing here on the stairs is that our dear Brendan has opted not to make an appearance. I guess the man is very confident that this will y out the way that he wishes it. Thought the question is? Does he think that I will back off and y into his hands? Or does he think that he has gained the upper hand in bringing me down? Well, I myself do not know which is the most terrifying prospect to face. All I know is that I am not going to change the man who I am to be something that I am not. I am a Marine. And I will stick to the oath that I have taken regardless if my career will be ending here today. Looking back over the years, I have realized how far I have grown. I have been through some really rocky times in my life, yet somehow I have managed to keep the faith. There were days when I hit rock bottom and didn¡¯t think that I could face the day, but I kept on no matter how hard things were or how bad things were going. I have always been good at being a positive person, even when things were falling apart. Although I think I hid far too much and kept my problems to myself. I guarded myself against others and pretended like everything was ok when it wasn¡¯t. I was afraid of opening up and being vulnerable to others. I was scared of what they might think. But now, I see a man who has blossomed into what he was meant to be. I finally decided to open up and show my true self to the world. For so long, I kept my true self hidden because I didn¡¯t like what I saw or thought that who I was was not valuable or unique. Why did you think this? Was it because I could never let go of mean things that were said to me? Why did I ever let someone take away my self-love? I guess I didn¡¯t know any better. Over the years, I struggled so much, and all I did was me myself, which made things worse. I wish that I could have seen that my internal struggle was a SIGN that my true self was being suffocated because I wouldn¡¯t let who I was really shine to the world. I tried to be everything everyone wanted me to be, and I didn¡¯t give much thought as to what I wanted to be. All I cared about what how a certain career might make others proud of me, but I didn¡¯t truly think long and hard about what my passions were or what I wanted out of life. LEARN MORE Today, I am so very proud of myself. In the past year, I have grown more than I ever have, and I have never been happier. I no longer have unbearable anxiety or depressive thoughts like I used to. Why? Because I listened to my heart! Finally, after all these years! I felt alive again, and it gave me a glimmer of hope! I finally realized that this is my life, and the only one who is going to be able to make me happy is ME. I did some major soul-searching and was wrought with anxiety every night. I couldn¡¯t sleep, and I knew why. I knew the answer to what I should do, but I was absolutely terrified to do it. My heart was telling me what I had to do to be happy, but my mind was trying to talk me out of it because it wasn¡¯t what society saw as right. IT JUST WASN¡¯T STATUS QUO. And I followed the status quo my entire life, always a good little boy and doing what was expected of me. But I finally realized that none of that would ever make me happy if it weren¡¯t who I really was! I finally realized that I was going to let the real me out, and I didn¡¯t give a damn what anyone thought about it. All these years, I was afraid to show the world who I was¡­ And all along, I was a GOOD PERSON. Why did I hide for so long? I have a good heart. I am sweet and kind. I am silly, goofy, funny. I have a smile that can warm a stranger¡¯s heart in the street. I want to remind myself of some words of advice ¨C Don¡¯t live your life for what you think will please others. Remember what happened when you did that? You got nowhere. Follow your heart. You can never go wrong.Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. Don¡¯t be scared of a difference of opinion or challenging remarks. Don¡¯t see it as an attack, but as another way of looking at the world. Keep in mind that you will never please everyone, and while it is in your personality to damn well try to do so, it is a false illusion. Use your energy elsewhere! You used to call yourself a perfectionist with pride, but now you realize that it is healthier to be somewhere in the middle. Being a perfectionist made you bat shit crazy, and you know it. Continue to set short and long-term goals. Those rock. You trulye alive when you have goals in life, so I suggest that you always have some on your radar. They make life fun, adventurous, and satisfying. Try not to hold others to the impossible standards that you held for yourself for so long. You have a tendency to expect only perfection from loved ones in your life, and this is a tragic, tragic mistake. Learn to appreciate people for how they are NOW, not what they should be. Love,ugh, y, and cry without holding back. Don¡¯t feel like you have to hide tears¡­ever. Tears are not shameful, and the fact that you are a sensitive and emotional person is not something to hide like you did for all those years. Embrace moments of each and every day. The most simple moments are often the most remarkable. Friends maye and go, but family will always be there for you. Never lose sight of this. Nurture your rtionships with your family. Most of all, be true to yourself, and you will never go wrong¡­ So as Isabeces her hands into mine, she seeks the depths of my eyes, and she knows that there is a reason why I am hiding¡­ Yes, they are filled with tears. I am not crying for me or my career, I am crying for the father that I was meant to be, and if I have to walk away here today and my hands will be cuffed in steal, I will be a failure as a father before I have even started to be. So for what seems like an eternity, we just stare into each other¡¯s eyes. She looks down at my slightly parted lips, and I know what is about to happen. We both lean into each other in slow motion, never breaking eye contact once. My heart skips a beat, and my knees get wobbly, even though I am not standing on my feet. I curl my hand around her neck and tangle the other in her long wavy hair. Our lips brush softly against each other. Her lips are soft and delicately. They dance against me like butterfly wings. I pull away, hesitating for a moment. She felt new yet oddly familiar. Her lips seemed molded to the shape of mine. My hands curled around her so perfectly as if they were made just for her. She tastes like passion, like pure, unrestrained passion, and I want more. Then we begin to close the gap even more than before. What begins as a small peck bes more passionate. The rest of the world spins so fast that it bes non-existent. I lean even further into her, and my body melts into hers. It is as if I can feel a fire zing within me, out of control. We arepletely and utterly in sync at this very moment. Everything about her is perfect. The sheer softness of her hair as I run my hands through it. The taste of sweet cotton candy that lingers on her lips. Her breath that warms my cheek. The way she ys with the hair at the back of my head that tickles my neck. She presses her lips against mine even harder. Lightning passes through me. I feel lost in a different universe, and she is slowly taking me away. Her cold hand creeps from my neck down my spine and pulls me closer. Her touch makes my body shiver. Her delicate, innocent kiss makes my heart flutter. Then it races. My body surrenders. I let her kiss me for as long as she want. Every time I let go, I go back and kiss her again softly. After what seems like being away for hours, we part and put our foreheads together. Then she softly whispers, ¡°You have got this.¡± And with that, they lead me inside. It is hard to say whose eyes are filled with the most terror, but then just as I am nearly at the front of the courtroom¡­ Chapter 174 The Long Walk To Freedom As I take what feels like the longest steps of my life, I look ahead and nce in the direction of a man that is sitting behind a table. A man whom I only but a few moments ago was told would not be here. Well, guess that I am surprised, shocked, and ya, a little bit pissed off. Meeting my fate having to stare a man in the face that I hate was not something I nned for when I left home with half of a confidence in my step. As for now, I have lost that determination that needs to carry me through. But yet, I need to remind myself what the difference between him and me is. Yet, does it make such a difference that I do notck the strength or the will to push through what will be thrown in my way today? So as I look at this man and he is bing closer and closer, I fight the urge to tell him what it is that my burning thought thinks of him. Though, I have been just told be y nice as mywyer has seen my very intention. ¡°You dare not say a word to that man,¡± he warns me but with somewhat of a smirk of a smile. ¡°We don¡¯t want to piss the judge of any more than she already is.¡± Well, that there just stops me dead in my tracks, ¡°Yes, and I do believe¡­¡± Yet, he does not get a moment to finish his sentence, for we are now told to get to our seats and stand for the entrance of the Judge that shall preside over this cause. And yes, p me fucking silly until Sunday and remind me in how much shit I am in. From beneath her breath, she only but nods and whispers, ¡°Ethan, good to see you again.¡± Now, yes, it is good to see her again¡­and might I add with clothes on. Our dear Judge was perhaps¡­well she was¡­but we had a little fling, encounter, experience¡­ whatever you wish to call a night of sex while beingpletely drunk out of your mind. Ya, the boys, Gibbs and Ray, well we went out one night after a rather intense drilling session that day, and as with boys, we drank perhaps far too much and ended up with a bunch of rather attractivedies. And this there is where Lucy, our very Judgees in. Now I never knew if she was seeking more after our encounter, for I made it quite clear that there was nothing more that I wanted. So, she might or might not still be a bit pissed off at me. Right now¡­that would make me fucked. But professionalism in hand, she calls for the court to be seated and only but nce in my direction as she starts to speak, ¡°So, Mr. Hunter, I believe that you shot Mr. Jenkins?¡± Now, what do I say? Yes, the fucking asshole deserved it. But, ¡°Judge, that is correct.¡± Then with a slight smirk on her face, she continues, ¡°Please, can you exin to me why you shot Mr. Jenkins?¡± Well, what do I say now? The man is still a fucking asshole, and that he pissed me off? Well, we rehearsed this over the phonest night, and perhaps some of it might not be the full truth, but it is my life that is on the line here. I need to remind myself now that whatever happens now is supposed to be temporary. It mayst for the next minute or an hour, but eventually this, this tormented torture of being put under a spotlight, it will subside, and something else will take its ce. If I quit now and I do not tell that small little bended truth, the oue of this willst forever. I am not going to surrender or even have the smallest act of hesitation and give up to believe that walking down the straight and narrow now will save my life. So how do I answer this question, I ask myself? ¡°Well, Judge, the man was threatening my wife.¡± I see Lucy¡¯s eyes grow wider, and ya¡­oh fuck. Perhaps that smile is now going to fade as she has discovered that I am not totally avable for whatever that cheeky smile of hers is letting run through her mind. Yet, ¡°Please exin, Mr. Hunter?¡± ¡°Well, his exact words, ¡°If you do not hand her over, then I wille to take her.¡± She then looks over to where Brendan is fake, paining his wounds as he is pretending that he is suffering, then with a hitch in her voice, she speaks to him, ¡°It seems that you think that women are objects, Mr. Jenkins. Now, please tell me is this true which Mr. Hunter is iming.¡± ¡°I never¡­¡± and it as we fully expected. ¡°I never threatened the man¡¯s wife, nor did I im that I wasing after her.¡± Then, of course, his snot-nosewyer that is barely twenty decides to object in, ¡°Judge, the man shot my client twice. If he wishes to im self-defense, then I am objecting to his statement.¡± Lucy only but raises her eyebrow, and with a slight shake of her head, she looks rather disappointed in me, ¡°Mr. Hunter, you do see that you cannot im that you were trying to protect your wife. You went into this man¡¯s house, and you shot him, not once for now reason, but then a second time. Do you understand that this is attempted murder?¡± ¡°Judge, the only attempted thing here is iming to harm my wife. Yes, I shot him twice, but perhaps, my finger slipped the second time.¡± She only but nearly bursts inughter as mywyer reprimands me, ¡°Ethan, keep yourself in check here. She will drop your ass in jail.¡± ¡°Oh, believe me, she has dropped my ass¡­¡± And from behind me, I see Ana raise her brow; well, this is going to leave some exining, so let me not put my foot into it. So, next, Brendan¡¯swyer speaks again, ¡°Judge the man not only tried killing my client, but he went afterward and tried to bribe his way out of it.¡± The Judge shakes her head in confusion, and then she looks over to Brendan, ¡°Please exin.¡± Well, Brendan only but grows a smile on his face, ¡°The man said that he will get me into the Marines if I dropped the charges and im that it was merely an ident.¡± The Judge looks back to me, ¡°Please exin, Mr. Hunter.¡± ¡°Judge, the man is fucking crazy.¡± For a brief moment, she only but chuckles, and from behind, I feel the t of a hand make contact with the back of my head. Ya, that must be Ana. But, ¡°Judge,¡± mywyer starts to exin. ¡°Mr. Jenkins called for my client toe to see him to discuss this very matter. I believe that Mr. Jenkins had this all nned from the start. If I may?¡± Mywyer steps closer to the Judge to hand over a tape recorder. ¡°If I may y this, you shall see Mr. Jenkins¡¯s intention from the start. I believe that he trapped my client to gain what he wanted, which is not only Mrs. Hunter, but a career in the Marines.¡± And ya, fuck! I love it! Brendan¡¯s face has dropped even heavier than a ton of bricks as the wordse out in a perfect harmony, loud and clear through that little tape recorder. ¡°I WILL TELL THEM THIS WAS AN ACCIDENT IF YOU CAN GET ME INTO THE MARINES.¡±All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. But wait, the fucking best part, and god, I swear my toes are curling. ¡°I HAVE A MENTAL PROBLEM.¡± Well, take that, you goddamn asshole, and sip on it. Lucy can see me only barely keeping my excitement in; she looks at Brendan and then at hiswyer, ¡°You have wasted my time.¡± Then she turns to one of the Police Officers that are present in the courtroom, ¡°Please take him away.¡± Now, for one second, there is a chill that goes over my body, for she is not saying who the ¡®him¡¯ is, and as she sees the tension in my face build, she continues, ¡°Mr. Jenkins, you will be taken into custody, you will stand trial of bribing a First Lieutenant in the Marines, and you shall face charges of threatening the life of Mrs. Hunter.¡± She only but waves the Officer off, ¡°Get him out of my sight.¡± And with that, Ana races over to me, the tears are streaming down her cheeks while she looks over to Lucy, ¡°Thank you, god, thank you!¡± Lucy only but nods her head, ¡°He can get a handful, I know. Now try to keep him out of trouble.¡± With that, the Judge leaves the courtroom, and Ray, with a big goddamn smirk on his damn face, only butughs from the depths of his chest, ¡°Now who would have thought. You can be d the woman was not scorned.¡± Ana pulls away from the warmth of the depth of my chest, ¡°Soldier, is there something that I need to know? ¡°Perhaps, boo, but can we please go home. I love my uniform, but right now, I feel like a criminal.¡± And as we leave the courtroom, that peace finally sets over my heart again. With that, the thoughtes to mind¡­ The thing about a Marine is even when it doesn¡¯t look like there¡¯s a light at the end of the tunnel, he¡¯s going to keep digging, he¡¯s going to keep trying to do right and make up for what¡¯s gone before, just because that¡¯s who he is. And this Marine now knows what he needs to do. Chapter 175 The Depths Of Stupidity ¡­. Ana POV¡­ I am not going to say that the depths of Ethan¡¯s stupidity will end here today, for I know, and I have seen by the look on that face, that he is already plotting his next move. Now I really hope that he will not outmatch histest stunt, but somehow I know that he will always go one step bolder than the one before. The man is truly his own worst enemy at times, but I will give it to him that he is more determined than any other person that I have ever known. And for this, I love him a great deal. He has, regardless of having the burden of one non-functional leg, been trying to live his life to the best he can under his current situation. And on top of pushing his needs, the healing that he deserves aside, he has been looking after our baby and me. So to say that I take my hat off him will be a gesture too simple, for I admire what he pushes himself through and does not oncein. Now here is where I am hoping again that he needs to realize that he needs to slow down. The baby is here in here in mere weeks, less than two months, and counting down every second to the joyous asion. And I know that while he is not looking after his family, he is starting to n thate back to everyst detail in his head. He has not said much about the Raiders again, but I had heard him whispers something to Gibbs and Ray before we parted ways at the courthouse. Now, I know that Gibbs and Ray are waiting to get news of when they will be deployed. But as for Ethan, well, I am sure he has to go through some sort of training still. But¡­ Why is Gibbs waiting to be deployed if he is supposed to be joining the Raiders with Ethan? Mmm, the three of them are up to something. But I will not push the subject now. Ethan is exhausted and has just excused himself to goy down for a little while. I have, in all the time that we have been together, not seen him so drained. I think the weight of losing his familyid heavy on him. It is a death sentence to your heart to lose every single thing that you have achieved, and yes, it was a moment of stupidity. But I understand that he was only trying to protect me, and him, being an Aries, he is the most stubborn man in the world. It is really a case of ¡®it is my way or no way at all.¡¯ And that is why I am not even going to try and talk him out of the Raiders and to stop making silly decisions. I am going to have to get used to the fact that I might at most only have another five months with him until he finally goes off and be what he is the best at¡­a Marine. I cannot even begin to tell you already how much I am going to miss him. What I can do is tell him¡­you¡­Ethan, how much I miss your touch. It has been hard with the baby and the Doctor telling us not to think about sex, yet sometimes we do not listen. But, yes, I much your touch. You¡¯re all I¡¯ve been able to think about since we left the courthouse. I have put your favorite shirt that you just shredded from your body just moments ago. The smell of your amazing cologne mixed with the intoxicating scent all your own absolutely turns me on and is soforting with you being so far away. I imagine us being on an ind in a secluded chateau that opens onto our own private beach. I¡¯m wearing your favorite dress with no panties so you can easily ess what you¡¯ve been denied for so long. I¡¯m looking out at the miraculous view, and you wrap your arms around me from behind. I inhale deeply, capturing all those smells from your favorite shirt that I used forfort while you were gone. You lean into me with your breath dancing across my neck. I stretch back so I can feel even closer to you. You slowly kiss the pulse point on my neck as the sun sinks into the water. I reach my arms back and drape them softly around your neck. Your hands slowly travel to my breasts, where you imitate the rhythm with your hands that your lips are doing to my neck. My lips gently part as my breath catches from you, teasing my nipples through the fabric of my dress. You pull my dress over my head and toss it aside without a thought. You lightly ce my own hands on my breasts with yours on top. You help me find the rhythm that you were caressing my breasts with earlier. You move your hands to my waist and peek over my shoulder so you can see me pull gently at my nipples. I know you love to watch me touch myself, so the sensation mixed with that notion makes me cry out in ecstasy. Your hands, little by little, make their way to my throbbing clit. Your index finger deliberately caresses my opening, and a smile crosses your face because I am so wet for you. You pluck your finger into your mouth to get a taste of the sensation that you have been missing for so long. A slight groan escapes your lips because you love so much how I taste. Suddenly you throw me down on the bed face up. You sensuously remove my high heels andy a kiss on top of each of my feet. Your eyes are smoky with desire, so I arch my back and spread my legs wide so you can see exactly what you want. You lick your lips longingly as you stare at my dripping clit.N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. Youe to rest between my legs, cing your finger on top of my throbbing button. You rub it leisurely in circles, watching my response intently. As the passion begins to rise, you plunge your finger deep into my wetness. I gasp out at the abrupt, astounding phenomenon. You withdraw bit by bit, making me fight to grab a breath. You grab my hand, pull me into you, and then turn me around. Your finger once again finds my pulsating clit and begins to move it back and forth. I copse into you, almost unable to be on my knees from the shaking sensation coursing through my body. You change the rhythm to up and down, causing me to crumple onto all fours with my fine ass facing you. You slide your hands onto both my ass cheeks and gently squeeze. Your left hand gives me a swift spank while I hear you unzipping your pants. I feel you slowly rub your massively hard cock against my throbbing clit. You find my soaked opening and plunge in deep. I am absolutely taken aback as you fill me absolutely andpletely. Your rhythm is hard and quick, causing my body to shake and quake with absolute ecstasy. There is nothing more that I love than you driving into me with absolute abandon. I feel the orgasm begin to rise as you pound harder. We copse onto the bed in simultaneous bliss, vibrating from the utter pleasure we¡¯ve just experienced together. We roll over into each other¡¯s arms; trading kisses that twist between soft and passionate. I gently push you onto your back and straddle you. Your thumbs drift up to my nipples, refusing to let thembe anything but hard. Your incredible teasing is causing me to get wet all over again. I nce down and see you extremely stiff with perfect desire. I lean over, giving you a wicked grin, and pluck your wless erection between my puckered, sultry lips. I melt down the shaft with my mouth and lick up with my long tongue. When I reach the head, I slightly suck, then lick it before dissolving back down, taking in every inch of youpletely and utterly. I can feel the taste of you slip down the back of my throat, and I suck faster, wanting more to escape. My tempo quickens as I feel you grow longer and harder, but when I reach your glorious head, I work slowly, licking every part of it. I notice your tight balls and make my tongue dance over them, slightly sucking before returning to your vast length. I melt back down; I feel your brace and explode down my throat. I swallow, enjoying youing so much into me. When I pluck your erection free, I look into your desired filled eyes and smile. I nt an incredible kiss on your perfect lips. I straddle you so I can feel the warmth emanating off your body. I love how you always make me feel warm in so many ways. There¡¯s no one else whom I want inside me or to make me cum so hard. You¡¯re the only one who can make me feelpletely and utterly sexy to the core. I¡¯ve missed you already, and this moment in our absolute paradise is everything I wanted it to be. I can¡¯t wait to tell you about the next day in our Eden, where I break out the handcuffs and the day after when we have sex on the beach. I need you, and I¡¯ll feel absolutely crazy with longing until you return. I¡¯m counting the hours. I¡¯m counting the days until you go away. So as the seconds draw to a close, while my fantasies yoff in my head, I notice that you have been watching me with the biggest smile on my face. ¡°Boo, what are you smiling so much about?¡± ¡°Only, you soldier. Only, how I am proud of you.¡± The sweetest yet teary-eyed smile appears on his face. ¡°Well,¡± he pauses for a brief moment, and that look when he is about to reach a depth of stupidity appears on his face, yet, I let him continue, ¡°Well, there is something I need to tell you.¡± ¡°Please tell me that it is something that you have dreamt and not actually did?¡± He only but chuckles at me, ¡°It is sort of something that I have done.¡± Chapter 176 Up To No Good What was once a beautiful, peaceful smile has now turned into that of slight annoyance and a hint of fear. Ana knows me far better than any other person in my life; if there is one person that knows that I am up to seven shits of no good, then it will be her. And it is the very her that has just caught me out¡­if she has not caught me out hours ago. So it is with great hesitation, and let me tell you, this Marine only ever hesitates and fears when ites to his wife, but yes, I am fumbling for the words to tell her of the next great idea that I havee up with this time. Yet not an idea, more of a purpose. With a very confident smile, I n my approach well before I execute, for I am within arm¡¯s length, and this girl is pissed, yet, ¡°Boo, I am not going to join the Raiders anymore.¡± There is a sigh of relief that sets over her body while the wordsfort the tension that has build up in the room. And while she relishes in this thought and the happiness grows, I need not keep the rest of it away from her for too long. So then¡­ ¡°I am deploying.¡± And ya, there is an echo of a thousand screams that travels to every corner of the room. ¡°Deploying? Deploying?¡± She grabs hold of the chair as she near-miss, almost faint as the words still spin in circles through her head. ¡°Deploying? What did you just say about not joining the Raiders?¡± ¡°Yes, I am not joining the Raiders anymore. I want to be back as First Lieutenant of my old toon.¡± She only but shakes her head at me, ¡°Your leg? I don¡¯t understand? No Raiders? Deploying?¡± ¡°The boys are deploying in a week¡¯s time. I am just going there for one week, and then I will be back in good time before the baby is born.¡± I can see the anger that is ying in the depth of her eyes, and yes, I made this decision without speaking to her about it. But I honestly thought that she would be d if I did not go to the Raiders anymore. But, no, I am sadly mistaken, ¡°Why are you not joining the Raiders anymore? I thought that was why we were here? I thought that was your dream?¡± ¡°Boo, I would rather serve with the men that I love and that I know, the men that I havee to trust. I need them just as must as they need me. Brendan made me realize that it is good to chase a dream, but it would be pretty senseless chasing that dream on your own.¡± Ana only but mumbles as she takes a seat at the corner of the couch; as her voice hitches, she carries on, ¡°Deploying? You are deploying?¡± ¡°Boo, I am only going to camp for a week when they deploy¡­¡± She immediately stops me before I can utter yet another word. The irritation is lying thick, and the anger is boiling to a brink. So with a voice that trembles above an echo, ¡°We both know what your ¡®only¡¯ is like, Ethan Hunter. You will fucking go, and I won¡¯t see you until the baby is at least one goddamn year old.¡± ¡°Boo,¡± I immediately snap at her, ¡°I would never do that.¡± I try to take her hands into my mind to reassure her, but she only pushes away. ¡°Boo, this is a short camp; it will only be a month. But¡­¡± ¡°Exactly,¡± she throws her hands in the air. Her voice is starting to stuttering as the tears consume her big brown eyes, ¡°I was waiting for the but¡­ So let us hear this goddamn but.¡± ¡°We will be deploying two months after the baby has been born.¡± ¡°Yes,¡± she impatiently taps the tip of her finger against a forehead that is now glistening from the sweat. ¡°Boo,¡± I hesitate. ¡°It will be for six months.¡± ¡°Urgh!¡± I hear her grunt, and there travels a ss of water to the far corner of the lounge. As it impacts with the fall, all that is heard between the silence are the fragments of pieces that are scattered to the floor. Then after a further few moments of silence, she rises from the chair and heads toward the bedroom, ¡°I am going to have a nap.¡± With that, she walks away. What possessed me to do this to our family? I thought, and perhaps I should refrain from doing, but I thought that if I didn¡¯t join the Raiders that this would have been better for our marriage, for my career. Well, I can honestly say that she hates the idea. I am only trying to find that bnce between what is best for my family and what it is that my dreams hold. Does Ana not know, do you not understand, boo? I do not wish to ever share any part of myself with any other for the rest of my time on this earth. I only want to love you and will cherish each and every moment you are able to give, and I will hold this dear to my heart and take them with me to my grave. You have already given me the greatest gifts of all, and you do not even know it. You are all I will ever want, desire, and need for my life¡¯s fulfillment. And I am not going to sit here and spin you another long fucking soppy story of how I cannot live without you; I want you to know the best parts of you¡­All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. Your kisses are so intoxicatingly sensational; I can never get enough of them; I will always want them and will always need them; they are vital to my very being, as are you. You ignite a fire within me that I have never known, and your written words stir such a whirlwind of emotion inside of me that I am nearly driven mad by my desire for you. I love the sound of your voice, and I love to feel your breath on me, and I love the way you can make me wet with the way you kiss. You know how to kiss the way I love to be kissed; it¡¯s a kiss that reaches every nerve ending in my entire body; how do you do that? There isn¡¯t a part of my body, inside and out, that hasn¡¯t been felt by you. Never has anyone been able to even make me want sex the way that you do, and you do so without even trying. All it takes most times is the sound of your voice or that way; I love to feel your breath on my neck just before you kiss me; god, I love that. Never have I wanted to make love to anyone slowly and with so much passion as I crave with you. Oh, how I love the way it feels when I am inside of you! I love the way you put your hands on me. The way you touch me, it sends shivers up my spine and backs down again. I love the way you put your mouth on me and the splendor when you run your tongue all over me. I love the gentle way you touch my face when I am fucking you. I love the fullness of your thighs between my legs. I love the way you fuck me with such fury, as I have always secretly desired, yet there is so much kindness in your eyes and a gentleness in your touch. There is a sweetness in your nce as you gaze into my eyes while I prate you. You suspend me between your two worlds, the innocent girl and the whorish tramp, and I am lost in my desire to be with both at once. Oh, how I wish I could have me in your mouth while I am fucking you! You have no idea how much I love this, yes, you do, and that is exactly why you do it because you know how to make my body ache for your touch. An hour or a few stolen moments, any of which would satisfy me right now, Oh just to have you in my bed again this night! But not only does my body ache for your touch, but my heart and soul ache for your presence as well. When I am with you, I can only imagine that it must be what heaven is like, because it is pure bliss. I wouldn¡¯t trade it for anything or anyone. Now, I want you. No, now, I must have you. I want to fuck you with abandon until your legs drop senseless from around my waist. I want to prate you. Consume you. Fuck you, for I am yours, body, and soul. You have haunted me. The feelings you stirred within me have never left me. I cannot imagine the emptiness I would have, had I not met you. And as you haunt me with absolute bliss¡­ Chapter 177 Second To His Dreams ¡­Ana POV¡­ Okay. Let¡¯s call this what it is. Completely and utterly fucked up. Having a Marine as a husband feels like you are always at odds with the universe. The Corps is his life, yet do I even dare say that the Corps is the ¡®other woman.¡¯ And it is the ¡®other woman¡¯ that is always going to get the best parts of him. Ethan has done some pretty fucked up things during our rtionship, and yet now it is starting to grow over into our marriage. The most fucked up thing I have ever known him to do and the most fucked up thing I am going to experience¡­Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. Leaving me now, now when I need him the most. He has chosen the ¡®other woman.¡¯ I don¡¯t need to tell him how destroyed I was when I found out. He is right here. He saw the moment my heart shattered. He saw my soul crumble. He watched me go from a tired but proud new momma to a broken and defeated heap of a woman. I watched him. I saw him. I saw my best friend, the man I married, whose heart I had held in mine, who had always gone deep with me whenever I needed to rumble with my demons, whose hand I held through various emotional struggles and mental health crisis¡¯, and whose baby I am yet to given birth to. I saw him choose the ¡®other woman.¡¯ It was excruciating to hear and watch him go through the detail of how he hade to this decision. It was like watching a horror movie where the anxiety and tension just keep building, and you never really know if the scariest part has happened yet. But I listened. I attempted to hold back my rage and on to my dignity while he purged out every lie, every betrayal, every unspeakable act. I saw him go through the full range of emotions as it all came out, from deep remorse to resentment, to shame, and even at one point heartbreak over his decision of choosing ¡®the other woman.¡¯ I¡¯d be lying if I said I couldn¡¯t feel it when he decided to start sharing more of himself with ¡®someone else.¡¯ What he gave to ¡®her,¡¯ he took from me. I couldn¡¯t quite put my finger on what it was, but something was¡­gone. He was not there anymore; I always knew it; I was just too scared to take notice of it. At least, the man I knew was him wasn¡¯t there, the husband¡­that man was gone. So when he finally told me what it was that I was suspecting, what I knew whating, I actually had an overwhelming sense of relief. Like I¡¯d been in a war I didn¡¯t really understand for months and months, and it was finally over. And then came thepassion. What the actual fuck. It¡¯s a strange experience, being so furious with and hurt and broken by your husband, the one whose soul you thought you knew, but at the same time havingpassion for the pain they¡¯re in. I wasn¡¯t expecting to feelpassionate. I certainly didn¡¯t want to feel it. But somehow, in this fucked up, heart-wrenching, soul-destroying mess, there it was. Maybe it was because he finally came clean about every hidden thing he had done, said, and felt, and the relief that came from that softened my broken heart just a little. Maybe it was a stress response, so I didn¡¯t have aplete nervous breakdown. Maybe I just can¡¯t help myself when ites to the people I love. I¡¯ll be honest. At that point, I had no interest in helping him feel better about any of this. If I¡¯m really honest, I wanted him to suffer. While I¡¯m not ignorant enough to think I didn¡¯t have a role in the state of our marriage, the choice to ¡®cheat,¡¯ the choice to choose the ¡®other woman,¡¯ was 100% on him. I didn¡¯t care that he that he had made this choice while he was trying to serve himself and his country proud. That he chose ¡®her,¡¯ well the fact is that is he would always choose ¡®her¡¯ no matter where I fit into this, me, his wife, simply did not get first ce. I don¡¯t care that he got wrapped up in something that snowballed out of control before he could stop it. And I certainly don¡¯t care that he never stopped loving me; actually, he did because love is a choice, and he was not choosing us; he was choosing ¡®the other woman.¡¯ I cared that this man that I loved, that I married, that I created life with, got so overtaken by his need to prove himself constantly over and over to someone else. Yes, I get the fact that this is his heart and his soul, and that may have broken my heart as much as the hurt caused by his actions. He should have talked to me. I wish he had talked to me. But he didn¡¯t. He went it alone. He kept feeding those demons inside himself, kept going back for more, disconnected from me, and shared with some ¡®other woman¡¯ I hardly know the most intimate parts of our rtionship and himself. And took us both to the absolute bottom of the pit. So now, here at rock bottom, we each have a choice to make. He hasmitted to choosing this ¡®other woman.¡¯ And for him, it¡¯s that clean-cut. But in doing so, he has chosen a different path for ¡®us,¡¯ ¡®our marriage,¡¯ that is on the breaking point. I see him starting on that path already, but that choice was very clear for him. Though for once, I wished that he realized where the love actually is in his life. For me, the lens through which I view this choice is still blurred by the devastation of this whole mess. Yes, there is a child to consider. Yes, I do still love him. Yes, I will eventually forgive him. But still, these are not reasons to stay¡­ Not for him¡­ He will always choose ¡®the other woman¡¯ in his life over me, Do I want to be the one that forces him to? I have known him for a greater part of my life, and I know, and I wish I did not let myself believe otherwise, but I know that he will always choose the Marine Corps. He mighte close to giving it up, but there will be no point when it bes non-existent. This experience will take us both to the lowest depths of our souls. It will crack us wide open and force us to expose the darkest parts of ourselves. I will have to face up to the things I know will always be three that will break us into two pieces¡­me and ¡®the other woman.¡¯ So here is what I choose for now. I willy in the trenches with him. I willy there while we keep talking, keep chipping away until the fear of vulnerability is gone. Until we can get up out of the mud together and recognize the gifts that this darkest of times has provided. I will not promise I won¡¯t still be mad or want to run. I will not promise to let it go until I¡¯m ready. But I will stand there with him until my soul is recovered enough to tell me what¡¯s next. My hope for myself is that I can put my broken pieces back together to create a new shape. One that is strong but soft that knows devastation has no ce here, that there is only room for love. Love for myself. Love for life. No matter what. My hope for him is that he can keep that rity of what real love actually is, that it is and has always been avable to him. My hope for us is that we move through this together with humility and grace and keep on building the loving, messy, wholehearted life that our child and we deserve. Because where there is hope and the freedom to choose, there is the opportunity to turn a dark night of the soul into a magnificent journey. And so, for now, I choose to have hope. I will always y second fiddle to the Marine Corps, and I guess I have done so for most of my life. I will never be Ethan¡¯s first, I will stand next to what he loves the most in his life, and I would be foolish the thing that I can rise above it. There is no point in me being mad at him or have strong words that will just be beside the point. I need to acknowledge that he has made his decision; there might be room forpromise, but never will there be a point that I can change his mind. He will always have ¡®the other woman¡¯ in his life. The Corps¡­ His Son¡­ His son¡­ The Corps¡­ And then me¡­ Sad realities, but facts thate to be with the wife of a Marine. Chapter 178 Wedding Bliss ¡­Ana POV¡­ I never have since Ethan, apart from our wedding day, so happy the past few days. We have been going through endless catalogs ordering things for the boy¡¯s room. He is going beyond what is needed, but I am letting het do what he wants. He deserves this after everything that I have put him through with the uncertainty thatid over his head. I can say, and I honestly believe so, that our marriage ispletely back to where it was before this mess. As for Luke, he seems to havepletely disappeared out of our lives. I am happy; even though I am very ill, I am happy. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ I have never been so happy in my life before. Things between Ana and me are back to where we were. It feels good to be a couple and almost a family. She has been getting very sick. She will tell you that it is not as bad, but it is. She finds herself in the bathroom at least every hour. She finds it hard to get out of bed most of the days. One thing I can at least say is that she is listening to Doctor and me and eating healthy and not just snacks. Unfortunately, it does not stay in long, but I make her eat again then. I want her to give the babies enough of the things that they need. I am in the kitchen making her breakfast when I feel a cold set have hands wrapping around my waist. She presses her belly tight into my back, and I cannot help but curl my mouth in pleasure. Then she slowly makes her way around the counter, swaying those goddamn hips from side to side. She is only wearing her bra and panties. They definitely weren¡¯t the ones she was wearing earlier. They are a dark pink matching set. I only but grind on my teeth, knowing that she is doing this on purpose. ¡°Hey, what are you doing out of bed?¡± ¡°Coming to see what you are doing,¡± she spins me around and gives me a little peck on the lips. ¡°Are you feeling better?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± she smiles at me; I look at her as I frown, and she only but nods her head, ¡°You sure?¡± ¡°Yes, I am. I cannot stay in bed the whole day. I need to get out a bit.¡± She slides one of the counter chairs closer, and I help her to get onto itfortably. She only but chuckles at me, ¡°You cannot do everything for me.¡± ¡°Then how do you think you are going to get on that chair, missy.¡± Before she can protest, I pull her against the depths of my chest. I take in a deep breath and press her even deeper. ¡°I love you, Ana.¡± Instead of answering, she reaches out to me, putting her small, warm hand on the back of my neck. Then she kisses me, first lightly, then more urgent. Her hips are tilted against mine; her breasts are against my chest; her whole body is sending a message that is undeniable. Then she nibbles my ear, touching my face softly with her fingertips, and she whispers, ¡°You feel so good. I miss this.¡± ¡°Me too; I miss you.¡± The mere thought of seeing her naked just makes me grin a wicked smile. My hands travel up her body, caressing her exposed skin. Then I slide them to cup her breast, rolling her nipples between her fingers. I brush her hair away from her face, and she turns and allows me to explore her sensitive flesh. My fingers are hovering ever so near her pink panties. ¡°Do you know how fucking sexy you are?¡± My heart starts racing, and it feels like I might just have a heart attack. Every one of my senses is heightened. Then she leans forward and licks my bottom lip. I nearly crash and die. My restraint snaps, and I wrap one arm around her waist and one around her chest, slipping my fingers under thece of her bra to find her nipple. My grip tightens, molding her onto my torso, and I press my lips to her shoulder. My hips jerk, pressing my erection onto herce bottoms. Then, I consume her mouth like a fire, my sleek tongue stroking the insides of her mouth, curling and entwining with her own. She lets out a soft whimper. ¡°Ssshhh Ana,¡± pulling her face-to-face again, I slide my hands between her legs, positioning my fingers and thumb. I nuzzle against her, my lips on her neck, nibbling and kissing her way up to her earlobe. ¡°God, Ethan.¡± She sighs as I work my fingers against her slick seam, and in an instant, she loses her pose and loses herself in her own pleasure. I watch as she squeezes her eyes shut and mps her thighs against my wrist, snapping her hips up before she freezes. All her muscles contract against my fingers. I press her back even further on the chair and slide my tongue inside her. She lets out another shattering moan. Every time I hit the perfect spot, she makes the most glorious sounds, raw, intense, absolutely delicious noises of pleasure as I continue to plunder her with my tongue. She grabs my hair to even drive me in further. I keep thrusting into her, crooking my fingers and hitting that perfect spot over and over again. Her moans be long, and she burst into a high-pitched orgasm for the second time. But I am not done. I drive inside to her once again, but this time I kiss and suck and worship every inch of her. I tease each of her nipples until they are hard and standing at attention. My tongue trails her belly, around her navel. Loving her. Tasting her. Moving down again, I meet her sweet clit that is begging for my touch. I swirl and swirl around, drinking her scent, drinking her reaction until I feel her tremble beneath me again. I look up and find her gaze; much to my surprise, I see that she has been watching me all this time, ¡°God, Ethan, I want you.¡± I pick her up from the chair and carry her to the bed. Much to her shock, I cuddle her under the nket and leave the room. ¡°Ethan, where are you going?¡± ¡°I need to finish breakfast.¡± I look at her with a wicked smile. ¡°But, you can just leave me like this.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I only but smile at her. ¡°I just did. Now get some rest. I am nearly done.¡± I hear her grunt and mumble under her breath, ¡°Guess that is payback.¡± I only but burst out inughter as Ipletely disappear off into the kitchen. ¡­Ana POV¡­Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. I can¡¯t believe that he actually touched me. He has been really hesitant about making love to me, let alone being so intimate with me. Our rtionship is clearly on the mend. But now the wicked man has let mee to bed all worked up and frustrated. It is hard having sex with this belly in the way. I can¡¯t wait for the boy to be born; I think somehow the worst is yet toe. Not worst in a bad way, like worst in getting far bigger than I already am. Guess I will have to do with what I can get at the moment. But yes, I sort of did wear these panties on purpose; I know how he loves the pink even though he won¡¯t admit it. But then¡­ ¡°Ethan,¡± my voice echoes through the house. I can hear him drop a pan as hees racing from the kitchen in the room. He looks at me in silent horror, ¡°What is wrong?¡± ¡°Come feel,¡± I pull him by his arm closer. ¡°The little soldier is moving.¡± I can see the giant smile build on his face as he holds my tummy even though he cannot feel a thing. From the corner of his eye, there is a tear that is starting to build. I love this man so much; I will hate if I ever have to leave this man one day. But we have not resolved the issue about him wanting to deploy in a few days. I have sat and thought about this a lot and I know what should be done, but if it is the right thing to do that ispletely another story on its own. I don¡¯t want to lose him now at such an important point in our child¡¯s life. So it is with great fear that I look at him in the eye and pull his hand closer, ¡°Soldier, I have been thinking.¡± Chapter 179 The Details Of Our Life ¡­Ana POV¡­ This morning when I woke up, you had already left for training with the boys. I so wished that you just had stayed one little while longer so that we could figure this thing out that is hanging in the air between. How is it that there is always something throw in our way of happiness? Yes, being a Marine brings you joy, but can you not see that just wanting to be your wife is something that I also crave. I love being the wife of a Marine, but between you and me¡­I love being just a normal wife the most. And what I would want the most is being for us to be normal parents. I would love for my child to have a dad, not the dad that is the Marine. I know that if I say this, then I am being selfish and what I am about even to ask, yet, even more, say is perhaps being worse than in damn nasty.All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. As you left this morning, I began to think about the way things were when we first met. We were so much in love; then, we couldn¡¯t wait to get to each other to tell each other everything that happened that day. I remember how we were both so interested in all the little details of our daily stories and how we wouldugh over the smallest thing. The simplest meal was a feast to us, and we needed very little to make us happy. We usually spent our evenings at home chitchatting, cuddling, and making love. Afterward, we would just fall asleep in each other¡¯s arms. Back then, we understood what the Hollies meant when they sang, ¡°Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you.¡± When I think about us now, it doesn¡¯t seem possible that our love could have changed so much in a year. The details of my day aren¡¯t so interesting to you anymore, and, I confess, I¡¯m not too interested now when someone at your squad is starting a new romance. More often than not, you¡¯re too tired to cook a decent meal after training, not that I me you, and you know I was never very handy in the kitchen. Unfortunately, boxed macaroni and cheese have lost their appeal for both of us. To make things worse, our schedules aren¡¯t in sync anymore, and often we have to eat alone. It¡¯s obvious that the magic is going out of our love, too, becausetely, you just turn away when I get into bed. I remember when our love life could have rivaled the 4th of July fireworks, but even that has changed. But I want you to know that one thing hasn¡¯t changed. I still love you, and I always will; I hope you still love me too after I have told you how I feel about you deploying. I decided that I was not going to be scared this time. I was not going to say that it is okay when it is not. Because it is not¡­. I have spent my life believing in Love. My heart has been beaten; my heart has been ripped; it has been stamped on, and more than once, as you know. But I kept on believing. Because I love Love because I consider life not worth living if you don¡¯t allow your heart to pound. And it is pounding, and it is being pounded on, and you turned it all upside down. My schedule, my emotionalfort zone, my whole life. I couldn¡¯t understand what was going on, and really I didn¡¯t want to understand. I didn¡¯t try to n ahead; I didn¡¯t want to build false hopes; for the very first time in my life, Ipletely let go. I really fell in love¡­ Loving so much is almost a crime. And yet I have never had so much faith that whatever happens, you are here, whatever happens, I have you. And even if you leave, you will remain inside of me, always. You are my happiness; you are the sun, you brighten up my entire life, you make me better, you are benevolent, you are simply incredible. They say rare gems are hard toe by, but I have found the Arkenstone. In fact, before you, I guess I had never truly loved. I want to discover you; I want to spend each minute of my life making you smile because your face is magnificent when it brightens up and your eyes wittily sparkle. I want to face the fears that made my life a misery, even if it¡¯s tough and I still sometimes cry and want to bang my head against the walls; I want to forget the past and trust you, I terribly want to make you happy and¡­ and maybe I can. I love you, I adore you, my imagination, and my body knows how to tell you far better than my mouth or fingers on the keyboard. My vocabry seems so imprecise, so small, so poor whenpared to the intense ball of love lying inside of me. My heart can¡¯t stay in ce ever since you¡¯ve entered it; I wish I could always be near you, against you. It¡¯s madness; it makes no sense to love so much, to love to the point of suffering as soon as your absence kicks in. And it¡¯s so good, loving beyond any existing limit. Breathing love in and out to your lungs¡¯ full capacity, loving unconditionally and without logic, without understanding or even seeking to understand, just loving. I don¡¯t love what you own, what represents you, I love you, your soul, your body, your mischievousugh, your throaty and sensual voice, I love you, you with me. But I wish I were yours, truly yours, for I know that I never would be for as long as you are a Marine. Right now, I wish I could lie down next to you, just to look at you. Just that. Looking at you. And listening to you breathe. I wish I could watch you fall asleep and listen to you breathe. I wish I coulde up to you and put my arms around you while you concentrate. And smell your cologne. I wish I could brush your lips, your arms, and your hands with the tip of my fingers. I wish I could massage you all day long because I like taking care of you because I want you to feel good. I wish you could hold me very tight against you andy a kiss upon my forehead, full offort and affection, when you notice I am sad. Oh yes, I wish so much that you could hold me very, very tight against you, so much so that I would feel your heart against mine. Feel your arms around me. Feel your embrace telling me, ¡°I will not let you go.¡± I wish I were yours. Simply. Completely. I wish that you were here now instead of yelling whichevermand that you are yelling at one of your fellow Marines. I wish I were cuddled up against you without you really noticing; Iy my head against your torso¡­ Cradled by your breathing and heartbeats¡­ I lustily breathed in the scent of your skin, thinking there was not a single ce in the world where I¡¯d rather be. I kissed your hands lovingly beforepleting the gap between my fingers with yours. And I thought back upon my teenage dreams¡­ How many times I had dreamed about that moment¡­ How many times I had tried to draw an imaginary portrait of the man who would be the center of my existence¡­ And today, here you are¡­ You are more beautiful than everything I had dreamed about; I see you, I feel you, and I wake up next to you. And I love you. When I say I love you, I¡¯m saying I¡¯ve never felt so good in my life, here, right now. I¡¯m saying that when you smile at me, I can¡¯t resist; I melt. I¡¯m saying you make me happy. I¡¯m also saying don¡¯t leave me, stay with me, take me in your arms, don¡¯t leave, ever. I can¡¯t breathe in anything other than the scent of your skin; I don¡¯t want to listen to anything other than the sound of your voice; I just want you. You, you, you. But how much will this love mean when I tell you what it is that isid upon my heart? The thing is, I don¡¯t, perhaps let us rather rephrase, I can¡¯t let you leave me behind. I can¡¯t let you leave our child without a father for months. So it is with great pain that you will have toe to terms and face my decision that I have made when youe back home. Is this going to test our marriage once again? Well, it is going to test out love, for I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. I cannot, or rather I will not let you do this. Chapter 180 Beyond Having Enough Seriously, fuck you. I have had enough. Imagine meing home from training with the boys, in a very upbeat mood and looking forward to seeing my wife with our little baby bump. But ya¡­ All I find is a little note saying that she has left. I am tired of losing Ana.N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. Around every corner, there is a hole that I need to trip through¡­and¡­ I have had enough. I once believed I knew what love is. Ana Hunter¡­ I was satisfied with a mediocre life, a mediocre rtionship. You know, the same old, same old ¨C ¡°He cares about me, I care about him¡±; ¡°I will never find anything better than this.¡± stuff. All that fucking bullshit. I actually thought that I had found my ¡®forever after.¡¯ The person I¡¯ll eventually end up with. Ana came into my life and changed my whole existence from its core. From the very first moment our eyes met, I knew there was something much more powerful between us than a simple, flirty gaze. She showed me that love has no limits; she revealed a whole new dimension of me. Something I¡¯ve never felt before. Something I¡¯ve never experienced in my life. I have no words to describe what I feel about her. But I¡¯ll give it a try¡­ You are my destined soulmate. The love of my life. The one true keeper of my heart. Even though you fucking broke it so many times¡­it was¡­and is still yours. And do you know why? Do you know what makes you so fucking special in my life? YOU! I love your eyes. The spark in those big brown eyes when you are passionate about something. Your determination to achieve the things you find inspiring. I love how your prating, fiery gaze made the butterflies in my stomach crazy from the very first minute I saw you. I love the way your look caresses me gently, but at the same time, I adore the way it makes me blush like a shy little boy. I love you because you understand my soul. Because you know exactly what to say or do at any given moment. I love you because I feel like we¡¯re connected on every possible level in this universe. It feels surreal. Infinite. Magical. I love you because you are a beautiful, genuine, one-of-a-kind person. I love you because you possess the purest heart in the whole universe. Even though you are full of fucking shit! But what else¡­ I love you because you are one hell of a crazy fucking ass, just like me. I love your wild side and passion for exploring. I love your excitement and crazy determination. I love you because you put up with me, even though I sometimes tend to sound very irrational. Let¡¯s say borderline psychotic. I love you because you never stopped fighting for me. I love your intense and limitless sexual energy; it electrifies my body every time youe near me. I love you because I¡¯m your greatest weakness in bed. I love you because you make me the happiest man in the universe. Yet, you can make me the fucking saddest one too. I love you because you have the power to drive me crazy and make me feel the way I¡¯ve never felt before. I love you because you finally understood what ¡®reaching a state of ecstasy¡¯ feels like. I love the smell of your skin. The warmth of your hands. The sensuality of your kiss. The energy that is flowing through your touch and collides with every particle of my body. I love you because you are my best friend. And you are my biggest fucking enemy too. I love you because you know the rhythm of my heart. I love you because you are the tide to my ocean. You know how to calm me down, but at the same time, you know exactly what it takes to drive me crazy and make me beg for more. I love you because you feel like home to me. And this fucking hurts. I know that I drove you to do things that I think you would have never done if did not meet me. So for this¡­ I don¡¯t know what else to say other than I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m sorry for the sadness that paralyzes you, the sadness that makes you feel like you¡¯re pushing yourself forward just to go through the motions. I am sorry for the pain that stings you and makes you feel like I am pouring salt right onto your open wounds. I am sorry for the doubt that gues you; the doubt that makes you feel like love is a risk that¡¯s no longer worth taking. Perhaps that is why you left. I feel like it¡¯s my fault. I tried for a really long time to protect you; I built a wall as high as those that rise up around castles, strong and thick enough to keep a tempest of emotions at bay. I promised you that I would keep you safe, that I wouldn¡¯t let harme your way that no one could get in unless we really wanted him to. And I fucking failed! But how prepared could we have been? It happened all in the blink of an eye. Things changed¡­ Piece by piece, the walls came down, or maybe day by day, you just grew bigger and fuller. And then, one night, you just burst through. You changed. Us changed. A higher purpose was supposed to happen. Yet, I still wanted to protect you. I still wanted you around. But you wouldn¡¯t have any of it; I was scared for you, but you felt so confident. You stood as powerful yet as vulnerable as ever, and you found your voice. I listened as the feelings materialized, as the words ran through the air like you were crossing a finish line. You were steady, prepared, and proud. You knew that you had to be Ana Hunter, and you were ready¡­ Me? Never. I never wanted to fucking lose you the way it did. Yet, I still promised that I would keep you safe. ¡°Promise me,¡± you said, ¡°That you won¡¯t break me.¡± ¡°I promise.¡± That was that: You were sold. And what happened? I could not even fucking protect myself. Yet you were out there, and you were running through the hills singing, sshing through ocean waves, drinking in the sun and the sky, and sparkling with the night stars. You were young and free, and the rubble from the broken walls looked like pebbles in the distance. You were folding over in smiles; you danced to the beat of a new drum and developed a rhythm that only love could create. You were just so far gone. You were being Ana Jenkins¡­ I should have kept my wits about me, I should have kept you from wandering too far astray, but life happened too fast. You were not ready. You thought you were. And, yes, I was right there with you. What a perfect type of love? But when before all of this happened, I told you, but you did not want to listen, ¡°Ana,¡± I said. ¡°This world is not made for a woman.¡± And I guess you said to me, ¡°Fuck you.¡± That is when I lost you for the first time! I couldn¡¯t feel you; you had disappeared into nothing. For a while, I wondered whether it was possible to live life without a pulse. ¡°Pleasee back! Please!¡± I kept yelling. I wasn¡¯t sure whether I was yelling that for your sake or mine. Then it hit me. You are not ever going toe back again. I felt like an anchor that just sank to the bottom of deep, dark ocean waters. I throbbed with sadness, and there was nothing I could do to get you back. I felt so helpless; I felt heavy and tried to put on a brave face. ¡°It was for the best,¡± I try to tell myself. But do you know what? It is not for the best, and I am not going to sink to that fucking bottom of the ocean no more. And you, Ana Hunter, I don¡¯t care if you be the goddamn pope; you are not going to sink anywhere either. DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME! Yes, I can see that beautiful lips pout and say, ¡°Leave me alone.¡± But guess what, you can pound through my heart as many times as you want; I am not going anywhere. There is light in all that darkness that is now consuming you; yes, it is scary, but you know that love is also scary, and it is beautiful. It is not something to fear or be afraid of. So even though that stubborn heart of yours won¡¯t ever love me the way I do you, hold onto that little bit that it does and find your way back to me. I cannot lose you. I AM TIRED OF LOSING YOU! I am sure you can find some other ways to break this heart. But I am begging you! Pleasee back! Chapter 181 Tired Of Losing You I am sitting with my back against the door, just having read a note that Ana left. ¡°If you are reading this, it means I am not here.¡± Well, ya that I can damn well see. And what else I can damn well do, is not breathe. So I crumple up the note and toss it into the bin. My heart is ripped away in shatters as I burst into tears. But then behind me, I hear a loud¡­ BANG. ¡­as someone is kicking at the door. Well, I hope that they have a good reason for banging around here at this time in the morning. So as I take my time to go to answer the door, the banging only but bes more persistently. Now I have no idea if I should be crying or be mad at the present moment. With onest wipe from the sleeve of my shirt, I dry the tears that are still threatening toe. Then, slowly but utterly angry, I fling the door open. ¡°What do you¡­Huh? Why are¡­?¡± my words only but mumble as I try to make sense of what just happened. ¡°Well, are you going to help me or at least let me in?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡± ¡°Ugh, soldier! Get out the damn way; these bags are heavy.¡± But then she cocks her head and looks at my very puffy eyes, ¡°Why are you crying?¡± ¡°Boo, I thought you left?¡± ¡°Yes, to get coffee and pancakes. Did you not get my note?¡± ¡°Yes, but I did not read all of it.¡± ¡°I knew that I should not have written the first part. The part you did not read said, ¡®We ran out of coffee. I am going to the shop.¡± ¡°Oh, next time, I will read the¡­¡± ¡°No, next time you get the coffee.¡± With a soft chuckle, I take the bags from her and ce them on the kitchen counter. ¡°Come here,¡± I pull her closer. ¡°Please don¡¯t scare me like that.¡±N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. ¡°Soldier, I promise you I will never leave you. But¡­¡± ¡°Why is there a but? What did I do wrong now?¡± She bursts out in a fit ofughter as she squeezes me extra harder forfort, ¡°There is something that we need to talk about.¡± Then she pauses for a brief moment, ¡°And yes, it is sort of something that you have done wrong.¡± ¡°Do we have to talk about it now,¡± I slightly tilt my head to the side, trying to give her my best version of my puppy eyes. ¡°Can we not have breakfast first.¡± ¡°Hahaha, and here is thought that you were going to ask for sex first.¡± ¡°Well, I could always change the terms?¡± Next, I feel a gentle tuck at my hair; she pulls my head to the side and rubs his soft lips against the back of my neck; it sends tiny ripples against my spine. She takes my chin and turns my face to meet her eyes. My body melts into her as I look deep into her brown eyes. She presses her soft lips against my warm skin. She knots her fists in my shirt, pulling me harder into her. I groan softly, low in my throat. Then her arms circle me, gathering me against her. When she finally kisses me, when she finally takes my mouth, everything goes oddly quiet, like the moment of silence between lightning and thunder. I step forward and pin her against the kitchen counter. She sys her hand against my chest, intending to push me away, but instead, she leaves it there. Then with nothing but the greatest smile on her face, she softly whispers. ¡°You¡­¡± ¡°Ssshhh, boo¡­¡± cing a finger on her sweet lips, preventing her from saying yet another word. My hand trembles as I take it to her cheek. I lean in a little closer, our foreheads now gently touching. I cannot fight against the thoughts that are going through my mind. She is flooding my senses in every possible way. I stare into her deep brown eyes; I cup her cheek, which is now slowly turning red. This woman that has so much power over men is like jelly in my hands. I smile at her before I slowly lean into her. My hand is shaking slightly. The sound of my heart is beating so loud I cannot concentrate at all. It feels like I am going to explode. I so desperately want to im those lips. The moment our lips touch, the world vanishes in an instant. Her lips are softer than I ever imagined, and she tastes even sweeter than heaven. My lips are firm against hers, but the kiss remains soft, gentle, and slow. We hold it for a few seconds before our lips begin to move in perfect sync. My eyes fall close, and all I can feel is her. Her warmth, her touch, her being. My only desire is to touch her, to move my hands over the smooth curves of her body and feel her perfect softness. Overwhelming passion has taken over my entire body. I move my hand from her cheek to the back of her head, my fingers tangling in her long, dark brown hair, lightly pulling her into me, adding more pressure to our lips, deepening the kiss. She is inflicting sensations I have never known I was capable of feeling. The kiss is getting deeper, deeper than all the gxies in the universe. Her velvety lips are imprinting themselves like a footprint in the snow. Then just as I rise to the peak of my arousal, she smiles at me and pulls away, ¡°That is the only sex that you are getting.¡± ¡°But boo¡­¡± ¡°No. Now get your ass into the lounge so that we can talk before your Marine buddiese and drag you away.¡± Well, the way she says ¡®Marine buddies¡¯ makes me think that I am leaning in the direction that this might be why she wants to talk, and that is why she is upset with me. Yet, she does not really look upset, for she would normally just give me the cold shoulder, let alone a steamy kiss. Maybe she should be pregnant more often. Ya, scrap that one from your head. So after grabbing us both a te of pancakes, and of course, the honey that she will be using an absurd amount of, I make my way over to the lounge. I don¡¯t know what to expect, but I sure am preparing myself for the worst. Carefully seating myself at least more than one arm¡¯s length away from her, I look at her intently as I shove one after the other pancake into my mouth. Well, at this rate, I might just choke myself to death. But yet, she casually continues to eat her honey with some hints of pancake, not showing much of a care in the world. Happily avoiding the tense moment that I am experiencing, she carries on to make small talk about baby clothes that she has seen and wanted to get my opinion on. So, that is her then getting up to fetch her phone, while in the back of my mind, all I am shouting is ¡°What the fuck?¡± Pulling back to my senses, she takes a much closer seat next to me while she flips through the pictures that she has taken of the baby clothes. ¡°So, what do you think, soldier.¡± Ya, all I saw was blue; it did not pay any attention to anything else that she was trying to show me. She might have even shown me a girl¡¯s pink little dresses, and I would not have known. But yet, ¡°I like it, they are nice, boo. Do you want to go get themter?¡± She only but smiles at me, and I know that it is almost just about toe. But first, ¡°Are you going to be fit and ready to deploy,¡± she waves over to my leg that, ording to the Doctor, has been healing great. ¡°Are you going to be fine with your leg?¡± ¡°The Doctor said by the time we do the first deployment; I will be fine. And we are already training, so I should be more than ready.¡± Now, do I ask her why? Is she leaning to a point here or just making some more casual conversation? Well, then she moves even closer to me, and I know, this is it. Now I am going to know. ¡°Soldier,¡± she starts off sweet and slow, ¡°I am not going to have anyone here to help me with the baby. Yes, I know there is Ray¡¯s wife, but I would love to have family around.¡± ¡°Boo, you know my mom can¡¯t travel yet with my dad. She cer, but not straight after the birth.¡± ¡°Yes, soldier.¡± There appears a sneaky smile on her face, and god, I know now that I am not going to like this. But let us hear it¡­ BANG. ¡°I am going to ask my mother.¡± Chapter 182 The Ultimate Betrayal It is with great disbelief and a rather dropped jaw that I am looking as Ana as that wordes from those lips. Now I do know that I can be rather absent-minded at the best of times; if it is not about the Marines, well, then I am not fairly interested. But I will for certain remember if I had a mother-inw somewhere in existence. So not trying to sound too hysterical, I shove another pancake down my throat before saying as calmly as possible, ¡°Boo, your parents are dead, or did I miss something?¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± Ya, and that is where I am about to hear a story. ¡°They might perhaps still be alive.¡± Still trying to remain calm, I take a deep breath and slowly, in the back of my head, count down to ten, ¡°Is it perhaps, or is it for real?¡± ¡°It is for real. My father has passed away, but my mom is still alive.¡± And that is me choking on thest of the pancake that I was still calmly chewing on. I nearly topple over as there is a slight, maybe rather loud, pitch in my voice, ¡°Your mother is fucking alive?¡± ¡°Yes, soldier. Please¡­¡± ¡°Please fuck all. How are you going to lie yourself out of this one? Did you not think it was perhaps a good idea to have told your husband?¡± ¡°I did not want you to react this way.¡± ¡°Well, guess what, Ana? I am reacting this way, and I am going to react even more if your damn excuse is not a good one.¡± Hurt does not even begin to describe how I feel. I am so fucking angry! All I want is to love her- but how can I? I cannot trust her. All I want is to trust her ¨C but how can I? I have been betrayed one too many times by her. All I want is to believe in her ¨C but her actions speak louder than her words. All I want is to be happy with her ¨C but I cannot if our whole rtionship is built on lies. I cannot believe that she has lied to me again! How can I have missed this one? I could not have; it is not like I would guess that she will pull her parents out of a hat and say, ¡°Oh, look what I have.¡± She is nothing but a liar; ites so naturally to her. It makes me fucking sick, but yet¡­ ¡°I am waiting, Ana?¡± ¡°Soldier, we have been telling everyone that my parents are dead.¡± ¡°Yes, I know that. But tell me why you would do suck a fucked up thing? God, they could have been at our wedding. Do you know how many people felt so bad for you, but now it was only lies? What is wrong with you, Ana?¡± ¡°Soldier, I¡­¡± she stops for a brief moment while she is twirling her fingers in and out of each other. ¡°I am sorry.¡± ¡°Sorry is not getting you out of this one. Why? Why do you lie to me for such a long time, and now you want your mother to pop in as if nothing happened toe to look after our baby.¡± I stop for a moment to gain the control that is near snapping. ¡°I am sorry, but I cannot, and I will not let a strangere in my home and look after my child.¡± ¡°Ethan!¡± ¡°No, Ana, I do not know your mother. Why the fuck did you lie to me, and might I even add and say again. Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?¡± Does she know what it¡¯s like to feel the pain of betrayal? Yes, she does. She knows the feeling well, as once upon a time it happened to her. If she knows the feeling, why would she want anyone else to feel like that? It is the worst feeling in the world. When you give all your heart to one person, and they take advantage of your kindness -They lie, they cheat, they manipte you to believe all of what they say. ¡°How can I believe any word thates out of your mouth anymore?¡± ¡°Ethan, you know how crazy Brendan was; he threatened to kill my parents, even Mark. You know how crazy they are; we were scared that they would.¡± ¡°Why would the fucked up Jenkins brothers want to harm your family?¡± ¡°Because I tried to get away from them so many times.¡± ¡°Well, you were not doing a very good job, if I may say.¡± In many ways, I am sad for her. Sad that she had to go through all of that. I want to help her, but I realize in the end I cannot help her, nor can anyone else. She needs to help herself and want to help herself and do it for her and no one else. She has a problem¡­ Ana is a liar, and she will keep on being one until she starts to stop herself. ¡°Ana, you have to stop this shit. Now, what am I supposed to do with this? You have a family that has been in ¡®hiding,¡¯ and now you want to bring one part of it toe live with us? As I said, it is not going to happen.¡± ¡°Ethan, you are not the only one that has a say in this.¡± ¡°Oh, yes, I fucking do. And I wish I could tell you if you do not like it, then you can leave, but guess what?¡± ¡°No, but I am sure you are going to tell me.¡± ¡°I am not letting you fucking go anywhere. You will have that baby here! And you will stay here! I wille to hunt down your mother if you as much as set a foot there.¡± ¡°Ethan, you will not tell me what to do.¡±Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Well, someone needs to be the grown-up here and not lie.¡± I don¡¯t know how you did it; I don¡¯t know how if have put up with this for so long. I love Ana, but I don¡¯t trust a single word she says. I don¡¯t know how I believe her- but I do. She has changed the way I look at love & trust. Now, I¡¯m left to pick up the pieces. I feel numb. ¡°So, I am assuming that you have been keeping in contact with your mother, which means something else that you have been doing behind my back?¡± ¡°Of course, I will¡­¡± ¡°What? Lie to me?¡± ¡°No, talk to my mother. You talk to your mother every day, don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Ana, don¡¯tpare shit like that.¡± Theck of respect she has for me is out of this world. When I think about it, I have a sickening feeling in my chest. How could she say these things? She will never know the degree of hurt she has brought upon me. She will never feel the deep sense of disappointment I feel and the deep feeling of betrayal. She may have thought she had done ¡°nothing this time,¡± but really, she has been doing it all along. No man or woman has hurt me as she has. All I have to say now is¡­ ¡°I don¡¯t know what else to say to you, Ana. Why can you not be happy with the help you are getting from Anna?¡± ¡°Because Anna is not family.¡± ¡°And your mom is not my family.¡± Well, yes, perhaps I should not have said that, for it does sound like I am telling her I want nothing to do with her parents. The thing is, I don¡¯t feel I can trust them; I don¡¯t know them. I cannot let someonee into my house and look after my child while I am away, not knowing one fucking thing that is happening around here every day. This will not happen. ¡°I am sorry, Ana, but your mom cannote. My mom is not either; you need to start owing up, and do I need to say that growing part too. You have enough people on this base that care for you. I do not want your mom in my house.¡± ¡°Ethan, you do not have a choice.¡± ¡°What do you mean I do not have a choice? I just exined to you that I would not allow your mother into my house. I don¡¯t know who she is.¡± Then she goes fairly quiet, and I am not sure if she has a smirk or a nervous smile on her face. She has her phone in her hand still, and she has been clinging to it for a while now. So not paying much part to her nervousness anymore, I continue to sip on my cup of coffee. But then, all of a sudden, that very phone starts to ring. She looks up at me and, with a smile on her face, ¡°It is my mother.¡± Before I can even object, she has shoved the damn thing in my hand, and I have a voice on the other side¡­ A voice that I know all too well¡­ Chapter 183 Two Of A Kind The air was thick with the tension between us. Our eyes were hot with held-back tears; brows burdened with unresolved anger. Our annoyance filled the space between us. Disenchantment and creeping doubt edged us closer to a cliff of despair. On a good day, love can be challenging. Why do we keep finding ourselves in these trenches of disaffection and dysfunction? Life¡¯s evolutions would throw us off bnce, disrupt our ¡°normal,¡± and make us ufortable and distracted. We are continually growing apart instead of instead of growing closer. To love,trulylove, is to give, even when it is hard¡ªespeciallywhen it is hard. When that reservoir of resentment is so full that just a drop of irritation made it spill over and saturate us with anger, we had to be stronger than the flood and togive more. And when we had nothing left to give,thisis when we had toforgive. And when we did, we began to build trust again in keeping each other safe and in knowing thatneither of us wouldevergive up. Then we endured, then we grew in love. This work of a forever rtionship is endless, and it is hard, and it is beautiful. Love is a choice¡ªone we are privileged to make every single day. What results from our efforts is never perfect, but always so much more magnificent than before. Our faith in each other and the hope in our hearts will always manifest in love¡ªthe greatest thing we can make for ourselves and our families. And families is something that I have nowe to face with. Ana has handed her phone over with the intention of me speaking to her mother. Now I have never seen, let alone spoken to the woman because I thought that she was dead. But ya, she has risen from her grave, and I am now met by a voice that I know far too well, so I look to my left where Ana is sitting with nothing but nervous tension, ¡°Is this your idea of a joke?¡± With only on hiss and a snap of her tongue, sheshes back at me in an instant, ¡°Why would I make a joke about this?¡± ¡°Well,¡± the words leave my mouth faster than I could stop them. ¡°You have lied about it; who says you will not make a fucked up joke about it?¡± ¡°Ethan,¡± she rises from the chair where she is sitting and starts to ominously make her way over to me, ¡°Are you going to speak to her, or would you rather that shee to visit?¡± Ya, that might just shut me up for good, for I do not want this woman in my house. Hey, no offense, but the bat is damn crazy. So sticking the urge to be rude into my pockets, I only but listen to that annoying voicee through the receiver, ¡°Hello, my boy.¡± I cringe for only but a second, but then a good old chucklees to mind of how much fun I can have given this old bag a world of shit. Though the thing is, how much of her can I really take on a daily basis? There is no way in fucking hell that she ising to stay here while I am out on deployment. So once again, as polite as I can, I decide to entertain this, for I am still thinking that this is Ana¡¯s idea of a joke. ¡°Hey, Maggie. Have you nearly killed anybodytely?¡±N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. Well, they are one of what I believe is going to be many. Ites in with a swift move and makes contact with the back of my head. ¡°What the fuck, Ana. If anybody deserves to be pped,¡± I stop and only but grunt at a woman that is getting ready to p me again. Yet, ¡°Maggie, now I love that you two girls are getting along, but this is not funny ying a joke about my baby¡¯s future.¡± ¡°My boy,¡± that screeching voice just grew a pitch higher, and it gave me a clear indication that whatever these two might be up to could possibly perhaps be the truth. So Maggie decides to continue with that firm tone in her voice, ¡°Ethan, why would we lie about something that should be serious like this.¡± ¡°But, Maggie, how?¡± ¡°Must I exin to you how babies are made,¡± I hear her give herself a good old chuckle, ¡°I am sure you got that one well figured out?¡± ¡°Fuck! No, Maggie.¡± ¡°Now, my boy.¡± I immediately interrupt her for once and all, ¡°I am not a boy, Maggie.¡± ¡°Oh, believe me, Ana¡­¡± ¡°What the fuck?¡± I turn to Ana, and I wish that right now, I could be the one that could p her. She just did not tell the gossip girl in town¡­God, I don¡¯t even want to think about it¡­So, only shaking the million thoughts that are running through my mind, ¡°Maggie, really now. Are you just fucking with me?¡± ¡°No, I am Ana¡¯s mother. Her dad and I moved there right after Mark was discharged. Then only but a few yearster, he passed away from a heart attack. I never felt like moving back to the city, so when Ana could finally get away, she moved down to that little ce up the hill close to where you stayed.¡± ¡°But I don¡¯t understand¡­Rather let me rephrase, that fucking Jenkins family is crazy.¡± ¡°Young man, watch that damn mouth of yours, or I wille to give it a good scrubbing.¡± Ya, and that just sends a shiver up my spine, and believe me, that it is not a shiver in a good way, ¡°Maggie, did you just listen to what you said?¡± ¡°Yes, you must watch that foul mouth around the baby.¡± ¡°Ugh,¡± I only grunt at her as I throw my hand in the air to show Ana my frustration, ¡°Maggie, you are not going toe to tell me how to raise my child.¡± I pause for a brief moment, yet I continue, ¡°I don¡¯t want him toe out as crazy as you.¡± ¡°Ethan!¡± From both sides, I hear the two women that I am going to spend the rest of my damn life echoing to every crack and crevice and corner. Maggie is the first, ¡°You are not too old for a good spanking.¡± Well, that thought just puts a horrible taste in my mouth and an image that I wish was never, then from the very close left side of me, Ana, ¡°I am going to snap your head until it spins. You are not too old for a spanking.¡± Now, that one leaves a far better image in my head than the first one. But I only ignore these two crazy women, ¡°Maggie, I am d¡­ Ya, I am not sure if I would be lying if I say that, but I am d Ana¡¯s mother is still alive, but I am not so sure if I am happy about the crazy bat in town¡­¡± God, that is when it hits me. ¡°I have got an evil mother-inw.¡± ¡°Ethan!¡± Ya, I only but jump up from the chair before Ana¡¯s hand cane any closer. The woman is so big, it takes her about ten seconds just to get her legs straight, and that is not even lifting her ass off the chair. Now for saying that, I think I would have been punched. But back to this mother-inw thing. From what every guy on the toon says is that they are normally mean and hard to deal with. They meddle their fingers in everything and override every decision you make for your children. Apparently, they also have the uncanny ability to show up unannounced and uninvited. And when they do, they stick like shit to a nket, and you can never get rid of them. Well, Maggie, the town gossip column, also known as Miss Daisy, is not officially my mother-inw. I have not only inherited one being mean and in the way, but I have also managed to get the one that is damn crazy. It blows me away that I have never not noticed that Ana and Maggie were much closer than they should have been. That is why she always got so upset with us when we made so much fun of Maggie. Fuck my entire family; even my dad made fun of Maggie. I am sure that Ana felt like strangling us quite often. But strangle is what I am going to do with Ana if she lets Maggiee to stay here while I am on deployment. So best we stop that idea right before it can even start forming. ¡°Maggie, now that you are my mother-in-fuckingw¡­I can¡¯t get over how terrible that sounds. Is Ana perhaps not adopted?¡± ¡°Ethan.¡± I get a firm warning from the woman that has finally managed to get off the chair and is heading my way where I am now sitting in the kitchen. Yet, I ignore her ominous presence, ¡°Maggie, fair, you are Ana¡¯s mom, but I am sorry, Ana needs to learn to¡­¡± And just before I can even finish my sentence, there is a soft knock at the door. I only look at Ana, ¡°You better hope that is Gibbs.¡± Chapter 184 Time To Bare The All ¡­Ana POV¡­ I can hardly contain myughter as I see the expression on Ethan¡¯s face as he very hesitantly makes his way over to the front door. All the way, with each step he takes, he softly whispers. ¡°I am going to kill you, Ana Hunter.¡± I only but shake my head and throw my hands in the air. I am pleadingplete innocence. But yet watching him gently reach for the knob, taking almost and ten agonizing seconds to fling the door open, I finally burst out in an uncontroble fit ofughter. He looks at me with much relief on his face as he is staring at the courier guy that is busy handing him a package. As he ms the door behind him, he walks back to me with utmost confidence. ¡°You can be d that was not Maggie.¡± ¡°Soldier, she is mom to you now.¡± ¡°Not the fuck; I am not calling that old bag mom. She has been giving me nothing but shit for years, and let us not forget about that goddamn centerfold that she published. I am sure some teenage girl is still getting wet from it.¡± Now that is not an image that I wish to have in my head. But yes, Maggie, my dear old mother did pull some tricks over poor Ethan and not even to mention the hell that she put poor Matt through every time she broke her damnputer. I guess the Hunter boys are not going to sit well with this one for a while. I do not even want to begin with what John is going to say when he finds out. And I am sure before the day is over, Ethan would have made that phone call to his mother. So very excited, I take my package to the baby room to ce the clothes that I ordered from the shop while Ethan was busy having a chat with his new mother-inw. I guess men will always hate that word and the simple presence of a woman¡¯s mother. Well, at least I can see that I get along well with Mary, there I have not to worry. But what does worry me is this man that is following me to the nursery. I am afraid that the punishment for my lie is not yet over. So as I spin around on my heels, I am looking at a somewhat strange expression on his face. ¡°What are you up to, soldier?¡± ¡°Boo, do not for one minute think that you are off the hook. But one thing I am going to make very clear, Maggie is not staying here.¡± ¡°But, soldier¡­¡± ¡°No buts.¡± ¡°Will you at least just consider it for a week or two?¡± I watch as he grinds on his teeth, and I know he is about to say something that he does not really want to say, ¡°Fine, as long as it is not while I am back from deployment.¡± With that, I leap into his arms, but before I can even move an inch forward, he has me pushed back onto the bed that is standing in the far corner. He drops his face until his soft lips meet my supple ones. He brushes them against mine. The touch sends a sensation of shivers over my skin. I can smell his musky cologne that radiates from his skin. I hardly have a moment to react before he presses his tongue to the seam of my lips, and, at my grant of ess, he delves inside my mouth. It is like my senses have all been seduced, and I can no longer think straight. My brain has gone mush, and my legs are numb. He kisses me with so much fire and passion yet keeping it gentle and demanding. His tongue is stroking the inner sides of my cheek, and we intertwine. ¡°I am getting you back for lying to me.¡± He softly whispers to me, and I smile. I sp my hands on either side of his face as I lean in for a deeper kiss. ¡­ Ethan POV¡­ Her mouthtches onto mine, her sweetness meeting and filling my mouth. Her wet tongue slips through the seams of my lips, exploring me ever so deeply. The warmth of her mouth and the way she is kissing me makes my body quiver. With every brush of our lips, our breathing bes heavier. She draws our bodies in even closer. She holds me passionately, exploring my mouth deeper with her tongue as if I am the only sustenance she needs. ¡°Ethan.¡± I ce my finger over her lips and kiss the thought away from her mind. We are kissing like crazy now as our lives depend on it. Her tongue slips inside my mouth, and it¡¯s nothing like I¡¯ve ever experienced before. Every square inch of my body dissolves into her. Her fingers grip my hair, and she pulls me closer. My veins throb, and my heart explodes. I have never wanted anyone like this before. I drop my pants and scrunch her dress over her waist. I press my throbbing erection against her thighs. I can feel her heart beating faster against my sculpted chest. ¡°Boo?¡± ¡°Yes, Ethan?¡± ¡°Can I?¡± But through her mumbled breaths, she only whispers. As I settle between her legs, my erection starts to grow even harder. I slide my hand up her thighs and dig my fingers deep into her flesh. She trembles as I move closer and closer. My body aches to be deep and throbbing inside every inch of her. A faint moan escapes her lips as the heat of my touch leaves her weak and wanting. My mouth roams at will; I am no longer gentle as I devour her, against the smooth curve of her throat, the soft flesh of her ear. My mouth is consuming her. Our eyes gradually meet; I lower my head and begin biting and kissing down her neck. I continue downward until my lips are locked around her quivering nipple. My tongue circles the swollen tip as my hand strokes the other. She tosses her head back, thrusting the tip further into my mouth. ¡°Oh, god, Ethan, please.¡± Cursing softly to myself, I hold her up by her ass and dig my fingers deep into her flesh. Then I slowly drive deep into her inch by glorious inch. She is soft and warm and every bit so inviting. A deep growl escapes through my lips.All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Aaahhh fuck boo.¡± ¡­ Ana POV¡­ He slowly starts to move within me, taking the edge off the ache. With every move, he slips his thick erection in a little deeper but then pulling all the way out again. Then once deeper in and all the way out again. Teasing me painfully slow. My inner muscles mp around him like a hot, pulsing glove. He keeps up his rhythm relentlessly. Teasing me agonizingly slow. With each stroke, he slides his hot throbbing fleshpletely into me. As he drives in deeper with each thrust, he increases his pace. There is an ache in my hips as I mp my legs around his waist, curling my fingers into the sheets; I surrender to all he is doing to me, surrender to everything I am feeling, everything he was feeling. He hits my sweet spot perfectly, and it is almost too much for me to cope with. I feel a flush of heat spread over my body from my stomach. It feels like my entire body is blushing. Keeping still, I feel the tip of his erection hit the core of me over and over again. I rxed into my orgasm, relishing in the waves of pleasure tingling over my skin All I can do is but utter his name as I cry out in pleasure. ¡°Ethan!¡± ¡°Oh, boo, I am not done yet.¡± He positions his pulsating erection at my entrance and plunges fast and deep into me again. Spreading my legs wide again, he thrust up into me; I feel him push all the way inside me, filling me right to the top. I bounce as he thrusts upwards, and I feel him be bigger as he quickens his pace. He plunges deep inside me; I feel the full thrust of his length inside me. Tension builds deep at my core and coils up. My arousal mounts inside until finally, without warning, my climax charges up, and I lose all control for the second time again. I throw my head back as I tremble in orgasm. ¡­ Ethan POV¡­ I am thrusting into her mercilessly as she is being driven from one climax to another. I am fucking her, then fucking her again, over and over, thrusting into her, delving and diving, pounding and pumping. The sex is loud and brutal. With every sharp thrust, our skin p together. My cries grow louder and more desperate as the pleasure mounts. My erection growsrger and harder. I feel I am about to burst wide open. All it takes is one fierce drive, and I am over the edge. The hot waves of pleasure start deep in my core and shot out in every direction, turning my limbs to jelly and my mind to mush. Still blinded and out of breath, I fall down next to her with a hoarse groan. ¡°God, boo.¡± ¡°Damn, soldier.¡± After several moments have passed, I finally speak to her again. ¡°We are going to sit here until you have told me any other lie that you have been telling me.¡± Chapter 185 Taken By Surprise Yesterday was torture, and ya¡­ It is not going to get any better. I shall now have to live with the fact that Maggie is my mother-inw. Still, just the mention of the word makes my body cringe. I think, in a way, I was happy that I would never have one, but I guess a man can only dream for such a short while. Now I sat with Ana in that kitchen for nearly almost two hours, and she did not say a single word. Yes, it frustrated the shit out of me because, in the back of my head, I know that there is going to be something that sticks up its ugly head. And as certain as I know that I am Ethan Hunter, that is as certain I will be to divorce her lying ass. So I shall leave it where it is and hope for the best toe. Now today, she is dragging me, well, not truly because I would love to have the experience, so we are off into the city to go get some more blue little things for my boy. I do truly wish that she did not only buy blue; hey, I love my own blues, but there is only so much of it that you can wear. And talking about wear, I patiently wait for her to choose which white dress she wants to wear. Ya, I can remember that there are fifty shades of white, and god knows I cannot see it, but she for sure as hell can. After what seems like an endless hour of watching her choose the very first dress she had on, I only shake my head and make my way to the car. As I make my way past the kitchen, I feel it¡­ WHAM ¡°Nice ass, soldier.¡± ¡°Oh, you are going to pay for that. Now, are you sure that is the right white dress that you want to wear?¡± ¡°Why? What is wrong with it?¡± I only but point over to her very revealing cleavage, ¡°It is a little bit distracting.¡± ¡°I am not changing.¡± ¡°Boo.¡± So I am standing in the kitchen waiting for Ana to dress into something more appropriate, which, as I know her, will be into a fucking tighter dress. Then out of nowhere, I hear a very sneaky Ana clear her throat behind me. I nearly jump my fucking ass off my chair. She looks at me and waves her hand over her body, ¡°Is this better for you, Mr. Hunter.¡± I only but chuckle at her, ¡°I cannot believe you even listened to me the first time.¡± The t of her handes in one swift p and makes contact with the back of my head. Ya, she loves pping me around; well, I am definitely getting my paybackter now. So it is a very satisfied Ana, in a fucking tight red dress that I follow to the car. And I have forgotten this girl can sway that ass and does she sway it. She must have done something right, but my god, that is earning me one hell of a hard-on. So now I have a rather ufortable bulge that is going to frustrate me the whole fucking day, thanks to Ana. ¡°Boo, you so did that on purpose.¡± ¡°What did I do on purpose?¡± ¡°You know exactly what you did.¡± ¡°No idea what you are talking about, soldier.¡± And this is where I so desperately want to grab her and tangle these fingers in her hair as I im those lips. I want to feel tortured bliss as I seek thefort of her body. I want her to consume my body and take me to absolute ecstasy. Ya¡­ Nice going, Ethan; I think you have just most definitely driven yourself to a somewhat wet sensation, that, oh guess what, I forgot the basic necessity such as underwear. I am craving, I am aching, and I need an itch to scratch. Goddammit, Ana. So we soon pull out of the driveway onto the road, navigating our way out of Pendleton to head over to the city. I think we both need this distraction as things have been a bit crazy since I came back from myst deployment. And deployment is something that I am looking forward to as it is basically around the corner now. I have no confirmed location from the boys upstairs, but I truly hope that they are not sending us back to Fallujah this time. After the massacre that happened there, I do not think that I can ever put my boots on that ground. But I guess to wherever we go, there will always be too many lives that have been taken. That is the reality that we all sign up for the day we join the Marines. I am very worried about one person that has just joined, that is Matty, and from what I heard, some of the rookies that have just joined will also be deployed. Now how I am going to deal with it having my brother in the firing line, that I am not sure about yet. I like that he is safe here at base, hopping around on ropes and staying out of trouble. I know that he will make an excellent Marine, but I feel like I need to look out for him. How do I look out for him when I am going to stand in a goddamn ops tent. Ya, the boys are not letting me go out in the field on this one. My leg would not have had the full six months to have healed, and I was warned very politely that if I do not wish to get discharged, I will listen to whatever Ray tells me to do. But I think they know that I am not one that ys by the rules. And talking about rules¡­ Fuck! ¡°Boo, that goddamn dress is even shorter.¡± She only but chuckles at me as she pulls it a slight bit up. And that is me¡­ ¡­I take her. I ce my hand rather roughly and hard down onto her knee. I want her to feel me, and I want her to feel it hard. I want her to whimper every time she thinks of me touching her. And as I slowly slide my hand up her long slender leg, it is the softness of her skin, the tenderness, and her smell that sends me even closer to the edge. With every glorious inch, my hands creep up her thighs until I have my fingers tangled in the fabric of her dress. Then I slip my hand¡­.. Just then, I am so rudely ripped from my steamy fantasy that I am ying over and over in slow motion in my head. She has just caught me staring at her for a fraction of a few minutes too long. ¡°Do you like what you see, soldier?¡± ¡°See what, boo?¡± ¡°You have not had your eyes on the road for the past couple of minutes.¡± ¡°I am just wondering how you have managed to slip into that.¡± ¡°Oh, I can be quite slippery when I want to be.¡± ¡°Mmm, I bet that you can.¡± But¡­ Pushing this aside. I think that we are being followed. Well, I don¡¯t think, I know, what Marine will I be if I cannot pick that obvious shit up. We have had the tail since we left the base. Perhaps it can just be a car going in the same direction, but I am sure that we are definitely being followed. ¡°Boo, there is a change of ns.¡± So without having to rm her, I make the shit poor ass excuse up that I need to get some things from an old friend from downtown, when in fact, I need to get my hands on some firepower. I don¡¯t want to fucking spook the girl. Well, if I thought that was going to be that easy, not a chance, for they are closing on us, and they are closing in fast. So I have no other option but to scare the fear of seven horrors into Ana. ¡°Ana, get down.¡±All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Why? What is wrong, soldier?¡± ¡°Ana, just get down.¡± And my words have not even run cold; then I see theming up towards us with a great deal of speed. I know exactly what is about to happen. ¡°Ana, get down!¡± As she dives her head between her knees, the impactes hard, and ites fast. With one loud thud, we are driven forward, yet it does not stop there. They back off, and¡­ WHAM They m with pure brutal force into the back of the car again. I can hear Ana scream under the screeching of the tires; with one hand on the wheel, I hold onto her with dear life. Then again. WHAM The car swerves to the right, and I see iting up hard and fast. With one loud crash. Everything goes ck. Chapter 186 Close Call As I slowly open my eyes, I am immediately struck by a pounding headache, and fuck does it hurt like a bitch. But that is not my concern, my concern is Ana, and as I look over at her, I am so fucking relieved that she is still there. Though still there how I do not now. So I abandon my seat in an instant and rush over to her side; as I open her door, her limp body falls out from the seat. My heart stops, and I cannot fucking breathe. Fuck Ana! There is a suffocating grip that takes hold of my heart. I can feel the tears start to trickle at the corner of my eyes. I begin to scream at the top of my voice. His body is lifeless, his arms dangle to the ground, and his head falls loosely to the back. There is blood all over his face, but I cannot see where it ising from. I cannot see any other wounds, but it does not mean that they are not there. Why is he not moving? The crash was not really that hard, but then again, Ana was not wearing his seat belt as I asked her to do. I feel horror creep over me as I take her wrist to feel for a pulse. The realization sets in that there is not one. Then I put my ear against her chest. And as I begin CPR, I know that Ana¡¯s heart is not beating at all. The world around me bes blurry, and I feel a darkness that sets over me. Then out of desperation, I furiously start pumping her chest harder. With every breath I give her, it feels as if my world starts to slip away. I cannot lose the woman that I love. Not now. Not ever. I am not giving up. So I begin to m my fist hard into her chest over and over. Every second I take a break, Iy my head against her chest, hoping that her heart was beating again. Everything seems to have gone dead quiet; all I can hear is the echo of my screams down the alleys and the open streets.N?velDrama.Org holds ? this. ¡°Goddammit, Ana!¡± I can only utter two words. It is goddamn terrifying. Once I get her awake, she is getting every word from me. She will not give me such a damn fright again. Though fright is what is running through my mind as I am not able to get her to wake up. I furiously shake her by the shoulders, then Iy my ear close to her lips again. ¡°Dammit, Trinity, please wake up! I am not losing you today! Please wake up!¡± I m my fists into his chest with as much force as my body can give. And every breath I give is longer than the one before. I plead and beg and give everything that I have. ¡°You listen to me, Ana; I am not letting you go. So please, I beg you, wake up!¡± Then with thest bit, I have left, I m hard, the hardest that I have done. ¡°Fuck Isabelle, please wake up.¡± Nothing, I do not hear her breathing. I m into her chest¡­one¡­two¡­three times. Nothing. ¡°Goddammit, Ana, wake up! You are not leaving me! Do you fucking understand me! Wake up!¡± My voice echoes down the street, drawing the face of worried passerby toe to assist. But there is no way that I am allowing some stranger toe near her now. I do not trust any of these damn assholes, so much to their horror, I shout at the top of my voice again. ¡°Back the fuck up. Phone the ambnce, but don¡¯t set your damn foot near me.¡± And then. One¡­two¡­three¡­m. Nothing. ¡°Come on, Ana, don¡¯t do this.¡± Then. One¡­two¡­three¡­bang. Nothing. I furiously shake her body again. There is nothing. Ana is not moving. I cry out in absolute agony and drop my body down onto her chest. Even now, still, I cannot feel her chest rise and fall the way that it is supposed to. Is she truly gone from me? Have I lost her? Where is the justice in love? How, how can you rip two people apart that are meant to be together? It is not fucking fair! Then. I hear a loud gasp as the air fills her lungs again; it is the most beautiful noise that I have ever heard. And as I sit up to pull her into my arms, she sees a small tear running down my cheek. ¡°Why are you crying, soldier?¡± ¡°Because I thought I lost you.¡± I envelope her frail body into my arms and gently press her head against my chest, ¡°I love you, damn woman, don¡¯t ever give me a fright like that again.¡± Then she finds the gaze of my eyes, ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know, boo. Someone rammed us off the road.¡± She only but frowns at me as she starts to rise from her feet, ¡°Who would do such a thing?¡± ¡°I am not sure, but please sit down until the ambncees to see if you and the baby are fine.¡± So with her gently in my arms and the ambnce approaching, I take my phone from my pocket and phone Gibbs. ¡°We had an ident; please will you pick up Ana and me.¡± ¡°Shit, Ethan, are you guys okay?¡± ¡°Yes, but it was a close one.¡± ¡°Sure, I am on my way.¡± With that, I drop the call and show for the ambnce driver toe to look at Ana. For what seems way too long, he checks for any major injuries and gives her something to calm down. The only thing that will calm me down is a double whiskey as soon as I know that she is safely back home. So once the paramedic gives her the all-clear, we see Gibbs¡¯s caring up the road. Not much is said, as he knows that I am not a person to have a conversation with right now. I have never in my life felt anything so raw with pain. We soon find ourselves on the way back home. And as I am trying to get myself to a state of mind where I can talk to Gibbs and not blow up, Ana softlyys her hand on my arm. ¡°Soldier, everything is okay.¡± ¡°No, Ana, it is not okay; we need to get you home.¡± Not wanting to fight with her, with the deepest affection that I hold in my heart for her, I take her hand and hold it so goddamn tight. It does not take her long, and she bursts into tears so uncontrobly that I only but stings my heart. This is fucking killing me. With that, the agony that is hiding behind her voice burst into a waterfall of tears. If I ever thought I had not heard a woman cry, then Ana has shown me pain that you cannotpare. It rips your heart from your chest and slices apart. I have never felt this pain before. Fucking never! The raw passion to feel her takes over my body. I drop my gaze to her full and parted lips; I close my eyes for but a second, waiting for the hesitation toe. But there is no denying it as I return my eyes to her very own brown ones that are still filled with pain. With a look of heat in my eyes, soes the lust and desire once again. It is undeniable. I know that once I kiss her, my resistance will crumble. And yet, I know that it will be the only thing that will take her mind away. We came so fucking close to losing each other. I would have simply died a slow and painfully tormented death if Ana and the baby had to leave me behind to see the world in by myself. Not one goddamn minute am I ever going to let go of her again. Every day, every hour to the minute to the second, I will show her how grateful I am to have her in my life, but most of all, she needs to know that I will always love her. So without thinking of fighting it any longer, I slide my hands down her waist and shift her closer. I pull her as deep as I can into my craving body. I feel her lean her body up against mine,pletely closing any gap that existed before. I begin toy smooth kisses against her delicate lips, rendering my body ever weaker than before. I know it should not do this, not now, but I want to give her hope; I want her to see that no matter what, we are still strong together. With just a few delicate touches, my warm lips fall on hers like cool raindrops on a hot summer¡¯s day. And then I pull away as we are approaching our driveway. While Ana goes inside toy down, I stand outside with Gibbs for a few moments in privacy. ¡°Here,¡± I hand him my phone, ¡°Here are the tes of the car. Please find out who is behind this.¡± Chapter 187 The Weak To My Strong My heart is shattered. I nearly lost Ana today. It was so damn close; I could always feel her slip from my reach. It fucking kills me; it is eating me up alive; I cannot protect my wife! I felt so goddamn helpless; it felt that there was nothing that I could do; it was all out of my hands. Now I am standing outside with Gibbs, and I can hardly even catch my breath. The only desire I have now is to burst into a flood of tears and cry. I am supposed to be strong, but I feel weak to the bone. I don¡¯t, and I cannot fucking do this. I cannot lose Ana. I have no idea who can be behind this; god knows that I have made my fair share of enemies between some of the boys in the Corps. But who would stoop to such a level to try and kill me and even with Ana with me in the car? Most of the guys in our toon know that she is pregnant. What sick fuck would do such a thing? Well, I am going to have to do the hardest thing that I will ever do in my life. So it is with hesitant steps that I make my way inside. There I find Ana lying on the couch in a little bundle, and by her short rapid breaths, I know that she is busy crying. As I walk up to her, I gently lift her head from the armrest and ce it on myp as I sit down. Looking deep into those eyes, it breaks my heart. Seeing those brown eyes swim in nothing but sorrow is the worst torture I have ever felt in my life. I feel like falling into an abyss and simply disappear. Ana is in pain. God, this hurts. I need to pull myself together. So with the biggest desperation inside my heart, I pull her in my arms¡­ Fuck I never want to let go. I wish that I could take away what happened today, but I cannot do a thing. I cannot do a thing. So as I take her face gently in my hands, I look in those eyes that make me crumble in so many ways, and¡­my heart breaks. But the moment is too hard for her to bear; she only but turn her head away. It kills me; it rips my heart open and tears my soul apart. Iy in waste. God knows that I would have never forgiven myself if something happened to her and the baby out there today. Ya, I feel like I messed up. And I messed it up good. But I need her to understand one thing though before I tell her of the decision that I have made. ¡°Ana, I love you.¡±Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. Ya, that is me. These damn things won¡¯t stop running down my face. Then in myst attempt to have one thing before I let go, I try to take her hand and guess what, now she is pushing me away. Yes, I know she is only but protecting her heart now. But fuck, why do we have to break. So I watch as she makes an elegant exit to the room, she is holding herself together far better than I am. And hold she does as I watch her sway those hips from side to side, watching her move even further away from me. She in that damn tight dress, and as I watch her disappear through the door, thest bit that was Ethan Hunter falls into a ck hole. I cannot do this. I need to fucking pull myself together; I cannot let Gibbs see me fall apart. And it is with this in mind that I make my way outside. But as I step outside, I see that Ray has just arrived. Now, I don¡¯t know if he is going to rip my heart out even more than it is lying on the floor, but something is about to happen, and god, I am not prepared for it. So before he questions this look, I prepare myself to give him the news. Ya, here it goes. ¡°Ray, we ran into trouble today.¡± ¡°What trouble, Ethan? You look pretty messed up?¡± I take the biggest breath that I would ever take in my life. ¡°We had a hit today; someone rammed the car.¡± I stop for a brief moment and continue without him even having to ask, ¡°Ana is fine, but fuck for a minute, there it was, touch and go.¡± Not even saying a single word to me, Ray bursts through the door in search of Ana. Now I don¡¯t know if he is going toe back and break every bone in my body, so I wait. To say that my damn ass is not trembling would be the biggest understatement of the year. I can simply not take it anymore. I cannot protect Ana and Ray is about toe to give me a good full mouth of his words. So as I start pacing the floor, I am trying to think of all the reasons why I am about to make the next biggest decision of my life. And just as I am about toplete shatter, Rayes back through the door. He is furious. I don¡¯t know what Ana has told him, but I am willing to take whatever needs toe my way. So it is with tormented anticipation that I wait for him to speak. ¡°Ethan, what the fuck are you going to do? She is not happy; she is ming herself.¡± ¡°But why? Why would she me herself? If anything, then it is my fault.¡± ¡°Hey, stop that. None of you could have prevented that from happening today. The thing is, who is behind this?¡± ¡°I have given Gibbs the number on the tes.¡± With that, Ray, give me a slight pat on the back as he tries to reassure me that everything will be fine. Well, fine is not what I am, and neither is Ana. With that, I nearly burst into tears again. For fuck sakes, get a grip, Ethan. But that is not going to happen, for next, I head back inside, those stuttering breathse back and take over to suffocate my chest. And it is those very same breaths that need to calm down, for I am stepping into the room to see if Ana is okay. ¡°Boo, I¡­¡± ¡°Ethan, don¡¯t even start. It is not your fault. Do you understand me?¡± ¡°Loud and clear.¡± But I need to protect her. So much to her confusion, she watches me as I grab a bag and start packing some of her clothes inside. The more I pack, the more she tries to stop me, ¡°Ethan, what are you doing?¡± ¡°Boo, I need for you to go to your mom or even mine.¡± She bursts out in a fit of tears as she keeps pulling my arm away from packing more of her stuff into the suitcase. It breaks my fucking heart that I have to do this, but this is the only way that I can protect her. If she is not around me, then she would not get hurt. Then for a brief moment as I stop, ¡°Boo, this is for the best. This is the only way that I can protect you and the baby.¡± ¡°No!¡± I hear her voice echo to every crack and crevice; it is deafening and breaks what is thest of my heart that has been sliced open. ¡°I am not running away like a coward.¡± ¡°Boo, I am sorry, but this is not going to be negotiable. You are going back home whether you like it or not.¡± ¡°Ethan,¡± I hear her voice raise in anger, ¡°You will not tell me what I should do.¡± ¡°I am your fucking husband, and that is my child, and you will do as I tell you to.¡± As every single word leaves my lips, I feel as if those sliced pieces disappear into a ck hole. I am crushed. I am sending the very person that I cannot live without away from me. I am taking my love and my lifeline away from me. And take, well, I can¡¯t do that anymore either. As I step into the lounge with her suitcase, my body crashes to the floor, and that incredible pain consumes me. It presses every breath of fresh air from my lungs. It is with trembling hands and an uncontroble sob. So as I take the suitcase outside to pack it into the car, I look at Gibbs, and his own eyes have turned into what can only be a portion of the sorrow that I feel. Then as he steps closer to me, ¡°Do you want me to drive her down?¡± I only but nod my head, ¡°I cannot bear to say goodbye. But I have to, surely you understand?¡± ¡°Ethan, I would have done the same. Now I will go call her so that we can leave this very moment.¡± ¡°Thank you, Gibbs.¡± And with that, I stand there in silence as Ana makes her way outside. But as I try to pull her into my arms, she pushes me away, ¡°Ethan, please, please don¡¯t do this. I need you, dammit I love you. Please don¡¯t do this to me, don¡¯t do this to us. Please.¡± ¡°God, boo, I love you, but¡­¡± Chapter 188 The Things You Bring To Me Ana is absolutely furious with me, I have broken her heart and yes, I deserve every ugly look sha had thrown my way before she got in the car. Now she was supposed to have let me know that she has gotten there safely hours ago. So I have been pacing the floor, anticipating her call. Though I know that she is not going to phone any time soon in the next few days. Everything is falling apart. I need to speak to her before it is toote, I need her to understand ¨C I want to thank you for bringing so many pleasant, beautiful memories and emotions. For giving me so much affection, warmth, and care. For the lovely nights. For the minutes when I am near you. For your smile. For the kind words. For all the good that is between us. I realize how dear you are to me and that you are the person with whom I am ready to go through life with. You are the one whom I want to give my affection and warmth to, whom I want to take care of. I feel incrediblyrge and genuinely wonderful feelings for you, without which a person does not live but simply exists ¨C this is love. You are everything to me, and even more, you are the one for which I live and breathe. I love you, and I will love you forever! I love you madly, from your first look into my eyes¡­ This moment I will always remember in our rtionship. You are the one who gives me the best feelings. I did not have such feelings, but I waited, looked for¡­ and now the moment hase¡­ you are mine! I love you more than life! Sometimes it seems as if my love is so great that your love is not even noticeable ¡­ But I know that you love me! You give me joy and fill my life with meaning! I want to shout to the whole world that I love you! You are my favorite and dearest person in the world! You are the most beautiful person ever, and I am very happy that I have you near me! You know that I love you, I have already told you this many times, but I want everyone to know about it. I understand that I love you madly, and I don¡¯t even doubt my feelings! You are the best woman for me in this world! You suddenly appeared in my life, and this feeling so suddenly arose and developed into boundless love for you! I really understand that without you I can no longer live! I don¡¯t need anyone and nobody can rece you! My heart belongs only to you forever. Only with you, I am really happy, and only with you, I want to stay forever! I want to say a lot. Leave even more unsaid. Things that can only be felt, those even the best writer could not describe with words. Feel the touch of your lips, the touch of your silky skin, the feeling that pierces the soul and leaves a deep trace of sweet memories, anticipation of incredible sensations, and an rming heartbeat! Sometimes I don¡¯t know where I¡¯m going and, actually, why. I remember your eyes, and the earth flies out from under your feet, intoxicated with delight and pride. I carefully keep your bright image in my memory. Every word, what your tender lips say, they all remain with me. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I cannot hear the words themselves; I merely heed the magic sound of your voice. Your touch is like a magical rite that makes me desire only to love you and you alone forever. I am no happier man when I am near you, breathing in the scent of your hair. You are perfect in everything ¨C your look, smile, voice¡­ I look at you, and I cannot find the right words from excitement. And it seems that when we are together, words are not needed. Before you, I didn¡¯t live or breathe.All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. The sound of your voice, like a melody for my heart, is sweet, gentle, and magical. The touch of your hands makes me forget about everything that seemed important before. The expression on your face is a divine picture created by an inspired artist. I want to dissolve in your beauty and charm, knowing the bliss of infinity. You changed my life in one moment, and I thank you for it! You are a gentle angel sent to me from heaven, and your care makes me feel appreciated every day. Your magic smile can dispel all my fears and doubt, return faith and turn life into a dream. Having met you, I seemed to have found what I have been looking for so long. I do not know the words to express all the shades of my feelings for you. I love you madly, and I am immensely grateful to you for this love! My love is forever yours. Come rain and sunshine, I will treat you like a diamond and will never let you stay a mile from me. Even if you are far away from me, you will never leave my heart, even for a second. My love for you will blossom until my dying days because I have felt purpose, and I want to show you love. Every word you confide in me, every wonderful and terrible moment you share with me, melts me inside. You let yourself be vulnerable with me and trust me beyond myprehension. I never imagined I would truly find another whom I would want to spend so much time with, who could truly touch my life the way you have, even without trying. I look forward to many more special moments together. When I see you, I see my future. I remember the first time I saw you. I knew I wanted to be with you from the moment Iid eyes on you. I couldn¡¯t stop looking at you, your eyes, your smile ¨C you stole my heart the first moment you spoke. I didn¡¯t believe in love at first sight until I met you. And to this day, I can¡¯t believe you chose me to be with you. You¡¯re everything I want as a partner, and you¡¯re mine. Don¡¯t think for a minute that I don¡¯t appreciate everything you do for us. You¡¯re everything to me. Every morning when I wake up, the first thing that hits my mind is you. Loving you is like an addiction to me. My life was iplete before you came into it. Since I met you, my life has changedpletely. You and I, both meeting together, was not an ident. I wish you knew how much I adore you. You are the guarding angel of my life. You have been with me in sickness and health, through rough and smooth, and in all ups and downs of my life. On seeing your nobility and generosity, I have started respecting women a bit more. This may sound braggy, but I am head over heels in love with you. You have turned into my significant other without whom I cannot live. You add a tune to the song of my life. Darling, I want to remind you that you are really, really special to me. I want to see you eye-to-eye every day and express my love for you. Please never leave me and stay with me forever till eternity. I wanted to write you a love letter. I know it¡¯s a little silly, but I thought I¡¯d try anyway. It¡¯s just that I feel so much when I¡¯m with you that I try to put it in words so that you know how I feel about you. I am blessed to have you in my life. Before I met you, I had no direction; my dreams were shattered. I remember moving from one point to another in search of the unknown. Since you came into my life, you have given me hope. My life has changed. You are the girl of my dreams. Since you came into my life, you changed everything. I cannot stop thinking about you. My life has been full of happiness and smile. You have made my days brighter and nights better. What you have given me makes me feel great. You are the reason I always smile, as you are always in my thoughts. You are my best friend. You make my heart skip a beat every time I see you because I adore you so much. I never knew how joyous life could be until I met you. This is something I have never felt before, and it is you that inspires it. When I think about you and our rtionship, I feel a warmness inside. I cannot hide my smiles, even when we are apart. This connection is special, amazing, and I ask myself¡­ is it Destiny? I wonder who created this new and better me? It¡¯s You. And as I make my way into the kitchen for what seems the hundredth time, I do not bother switching on the light. In the darkness I make my way to the fridge, but before I even get there. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± Chapter 189 Never Tear Us Apart ¡­Ana POV¡­ The hurt in my heart is raging. I have not for one second let go of how angry I am at Ethan. It has consumed every single fiber in me, and it still has not let go. It is still burning out of control. I am growing closer and closer to the edge, and god, when I get there, I am going to crash and burn. My emotions are out of sync, and my mind is ying tricks on me. I have surrendered control over the demons inside of me; they still have a firm grip on me. If I don¡¯t find myself between all the darkness soon, then I fear that I am going to be lost. And lost is what I feel. I will be very honest with myself; I am not as happy as I thought I would be to be married to Ethan. My emotions are mixed. There are moments when I feel guilt and then get those moments where the hints of joy are far greater than regret. Yes, I feel regret. What else do I feel¡­ I fucking miss the man! Now that is a problem for me. I cannot get soft¡­ Not now¡­ In fact, not ever. I need to stand firm by my choice that Ethan does not deserve me. But fuck! It hurts. Not the hurt because he sent me away, but the hurt that he is gone. I have sat here and wondered if he has even cried? If he did, then I am d that he is feeling the pain. Look what he did to me! Did he just send me away to protect me? Or has he ended our marriage out of fear? I can pretend that I am okay, but I am not. And I am so not okay; if I do not let go of this anger, then I am going to end up in thest ce I ever want to be. I keep telling myself to hand it in there. I need to be strong. Not for Ethan, not for me, but only for the baby. Yes, I need to ept that life is full of shit and that things like this will happen. It does not get better as time passes; you just need to learn how to deal with it. There will be a time, and god, let us hope that it will only be Ethan, but what I need to remind myself is that somewhere along the line, someone will betray you. And that is more than okay because how else could I learn to be strong if I don¡¯t go through so many different challenges in my life. Things like this need to happen to make you stronger, yes it is fucked up, and it goddamn hurts, but you need to show yourself that you can be strong and that you can fight anything. Anything like the way that Ethan fucked up. Now something that I am not proud of, but yet I am still chuckling at it every now and again, is for punching him. I am sure that Ethan is by now wondering what came over me. He knows that I am as calm as the sea, well, the parts where the waves are not crashing. Now, today, I am the wave that crashes against the rocks. And that he knows now. Yes, Ethan, that is what you did to me. You turned me into an animal. But as they say that this is a test, one more experience that I need to go through in order to make myselfplete. The fucked up thing is that I had to go through it twice, but then again, the second time, I did not bring it upon myself. This is all on Ethan. So should I really me him? Fuck that, he pushed me away like a toy. There is no excuse for that. He only did me wrong; he made me experience all the wrong things in life. Well, I cannot feelplete if I do not experience both good and bad things. I can say that after all the shit that he put me through, I can now say that I am standing firmly on my feet. But god, I wish, and I hate that I am saying this, but I wish he were standing next to me. I fucking miss him. I feel that I should just let it go¡­ So what? He chases you away. Just let it go. Yes, perhaps he is not the one for me, but why am I feeling that he is. I feel desperate and broken. Okay, so he disappointed me, but why should I hold onto a grudge. Look what it has got me¡­ Does he truly know all my demons? Does he know that I still have things lying in my heart that he does not know of> How is Ethan going to feel when he finds out? Is he still going to want to be with me? I feel that somehow that he would. So why am I sitting in this room feeling bitter and mad at him? Because he fucking deserted you, Ana!N?velDrama.Org owns this text. I need to have more respect for myself. I am much more than I am making myself out to be. I am above this. I am above my problems. I am above¡­ well. I just need to believe that. I need to believe in myself. It is time that I do things right. Forget about Ethan Hunter now. But as I put my hand on my heart, yes, what do I feel? Is it still beating? Hell yeah! So he broke my heart, but a heart can endure so much more than a shitty asshole husband. So my husband turned on me, and I am feeling like a scorned wife. Though the question I need to ask myself. Do I just forgive him and fall back to where we left off? Should I ept that he is mine on asion and that I belonged to him? Yes, I belong to Ethan, and I think no matter what I do, I always will. But he does not deserve me! I don¡¯t know¡­ All I know is that I cannot take it anymore. I need to let go of this anger. Fuck, Ana, just cry. Get drunk. Destroy something. But let all the pain and anger go out. I know that if I do not do something, I am going to explode. I am not going to handle my shit, and I will crash and burn. I cannot let myself break into pieces so small that I cannot be glued back together anymore. I have a choice. I can choose life, choose myself, or pick up this phone and phone someone that I know will be there. Perhaps one should not give up the good things that are there in your life, even though sometimes ites with the bad. I need to ept that things are just going to be the way they are supposed to be. All I know is that I need to pick up my head and put a smile on my face. And decide. Am I going to let Ethane fetch me and continue with a toxic rtionship, or do I stay here and carry on with a new life? I know that if I go home now that Ethan will still be there waiting for me. He is stubborn like that; that is what I love about him the most. He never gives up until he gets what he wants. That is why he is the best Marine around. Ya, I just said that I love him. And it is the truth that love is still there. It is hiding behind the anger. Yes, I feel like getting revenge on him; I want him to feel what I feel for so many times worse. I am going to take sce in the fact that I know that he is hurting; I just don¡¯t know how much. Yet, I need to remind myself of why he did sent me away. I should realize that perhaps his life might be in danger. Perhaps he is finding himself in a ce he does not want to be at the hands of someone else. But no matter the situation, I am mad at him; I am damn furious. I feel the pain overtaking every other emotion I need to have in my heart. It is turning it ck and eating away, exposing those demons that are lurking in the shadows. So, I will say it again¡­ I love Ethan. But sometimes, you need to let go of the things you love the most because they are not good for you. God knows that Ethan and I are not good for each other; we are like hotva and flowing next to a stream of water. If we step one foot wrong, we destroy each other. Do I want to be destroyed? I don¡¯t know¡­ Chapter 190 Those Split Moment Decisions There is a dead darkness that settles over my heart as I hear the echo of a voicee from the kitchen. Can people not fucking knock? Well, it does not seem like they can. Guess this asshole will have to be taught a lesson. So I reach for my back and take my Ruger firmly gripped in my hand. Ya, someone tried to run me off the road so I am going to make sure that I am ready. So I take one deep breath, I step closer, there is a rumble of a voice thates from in front of me. With the darkness that fills the room, I can only make out a silhouette, I am going to guess that this is a man in front of me. I have only one thing to do, and that is face what will be my end today. And it is with slow agony that I do so. Each little scuffle my feet make, I prepare myself for what awaits me. Will it be a gun to my head, or will it be a knife to the chest. Whichever way, I truly do not think that any pain can be worse than the one that I am already feeling. And with that, I step two steps closer. And as I do, I can start to make out the form of a man, he is shorter and somewhat less built than me. It is with great ease that I grab him around the waist and tackle him with force down to the floor. Though I might have underestimated his build, his power and skill are right there to match mine. It takes me, but only a few twists and turns and a ratherrge thud in the gut, and I have him under control. But¡­ ¡°Who the fuck are you?¡± The fury that is building inside me is boiling to the top and is about to erupt. ¡°Who the fuck are you?¡± He only but remains quiet, so I press the Ruger into his side, his body freezes, and he stops squirming around. ¡°Answer me. Who the fuck are you?¡± He only but utters three words, ¡°You are expendable¡± ¡°We will see about that.¡± How far am I willing to go? So I only but strengthen my grip as I hold my Ruger firmly. If there was ever a time, then now is the right time to stop myself from what I am about to do. I can beat the shit out of this asshole and let him go home, but I know that tomorrow, he will be back again. So I only but look at this man, that is still securely pinned to the floor; I give him a once over, and then slowly I raise my gun. ¡°You will not disrespect me in my own house.¡± I am met with the eyes of one horrified man. He is stared in the face by the barrel of a gun. I gently squeeze the trigger and can feel a slight jolt from the force of the power of the bullet that escapes the barrel of my gun. He drops his gun, and it falls next to him on the floor. I can hear the sound muffle as the bullet travels through the silencer. He sps his hands into fists and closes his eyes. I can almost see the bullet travel through the air as it makes the short distance in mere milliseconds. I can see his shirt stain red where I shoot him in the chest. I pull the trigger one more time¡­and this is where I need to decide if I am going to be a stone-cold killer. So I slowly slide off from where I have him pinned to the chest. He lies there in agony while I keep my gun on him. As he rises to his feet, he only but fumbles as he tries to stand up; he is clinging to his chest, which I am sure is hurting like a bitch. He only but looks at me as he makes his way to the backdoor. Then just as he is about to leave, ¡°I will be back.¡± With that, I raise my gun. It is in three¡­two¡­one. Then I hear a loud bang. I have made my way to the door where the man is trying to make his exit from. ¡°I am not going to ask you again, who the fuck are you?¡± He only but bursts out in a fit ofughter, ¡°It is not who I am but who sent me.¡± Anything can go wrong here. Fuck! This is a mess. I watch the man as his focus is mainly on his wounds, so I grip my gun firmer in my hands. I feel as the coldness of the barrel sends a shiver up my spine, or is it from what I know is going to happen. I love the feeling as I hold it in my hand. The feeling of power that runs through your veins as you wrap your hand around the grip and ce your finger on that trigger. For that one single second, you are in control. But, as I stand here, I only but shake my head. I have never shot a man for no real reason before. And I don¡¯t think I really want to start today. Then again, I need to protect my family.Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. This is about to go south. I take a deep breath and ask for the onest time. Now, with every choice you make in life, therees that moment where you have the time to stop and think if this is really what you want to do. That split second that will determine between what is right or wrong. That moment that will define who you are and the path your life is going to take. I am about to make that decision. I need to decide if I am going to let this leave. And it happens in absolute slow motion. I raise my gun and aim it firmly at him, who, to my fucking surprise, has taken that very gun that I know he would be hiding. Now, we have a good old stand-off, and fuck, everything is going to go wrong. If I thought that this man will back down, I was wrong; he is staring a barrel in the face, and yet he is still standing his ground. I gently squeezes the trigger, and there is a slight jolt from the force of the power of the bullet that escapes the barrel of the gun. The man sps his hands into a fist as he drops his gun. The bullet travels through the air as it makes the short distance in mere milliseconds He falls back with a loud thud. I pulls the trigger one more time and hit him in the head. As I stand over him, for a moment I am expecting to break down, but my heart feels assured that I have done the right thing. But then¡­ I hear a scuffle from behind me. As I spin around, there are two guys behind me with their guns drawn. So, in as little as only an inch of two seconds, I unleash fire onto the two men that are standing in front of us. As they fall to the floor, I finally sigh in relief. This was fucking close. I did not think that I would get ambushed in my own home. Someone has dered war. What happens now is the big question. So once the craziness has calmed down, and I find myself having to exin to the very same Officer as before, why I have three dead men in my house. His very exact words, ¡°You just can¡¯t stay out of trouble.¡± But needless to say, I can really im that it was self-defence this time around. So after they had a thorough check of the house and taking all the evidence they could possible find lingering at the back from where they gained entry at the back door, I head to the shower to get the feeling of¡­death¡­of my skin. And as I stand in there for a good forty-five-minutes, the only thing that is running through my mind is that I need to speak to Ana. I don¡¯t know what to say to her. How am I going to tell her that I just killed three men and that I am so goddamn thankful that I force her away from her home? Well, that wille to mind, but as for now she does not need to know what has happened here. So as I fall down onto the bed, I flip the screen until her number pops up. It only takes her but a few seconds and she has answered my call. ¡°Ethan!¡± ¡°Hi, boo. I just wanted to check in and see if you are okay?¡± ¡°Me? Okay? No I am not fucking okay!¡± I swallow rather deeply as I truly do not feel like a big argument at the present moment. But she soon raises her voice even a fraction louder. ¡°How the fuck must I be okay if you are killing people in our home?¡± I think she knows. Chapter 191 The Battle Ahead It did not take very long, and Ana was back home. Now to say that she is not raging mad would be a lie, but right now, I have never seen any that is more afraid. At least all the Police Officers and Forensics have left. That is one sight that I do not wish for her to see, but there is the very grim reminder where a bullet did prate a wall in the kitchen. But she has not seen that yet, for we are sitting in the lounge trying to figure out where do we go from here. I honestly am in two minds, I want her with me, but I know it is far too dangerous. Right now, our lives are all about unpredictability; I don¡¯t know what is going to happen next, but at the lengths whoever is behind this has gone, I can certainly say that the next hit will be far more serious than this one. That is not even I thought I wish to think of, to think that somewhere out there somebody wants me dead. God, I must have fucked somebody seriously off, but that is beside the point. So here I am, looking into brown eyes that do not fully understand what has happened. Yet, I know that she does; she does not want to face reality. It is hard and terrifying to have toe to face that death came knocking on my door in a ce where it should be nothing but safe. I hope she understands now why I did what I had done before; I had my reason to send her away as I did. The thing is, Ana is my life. And if I could, rather if I would want to, which I do not, I would have done things differently. I shall never, and I shall rather die, but it shall never hurt the woman that I love with all my heart and soul. But there is one thing that she needs to understand. ¡°Boo, I know that right now you are scared, and I stand a great chance that you would really leave me. Should you leave, then you would break my heart beyondpare.¡± ¡°Soldier, you need to understand that this isplete madness.¡± ¡°I am so sorry.¡± I pull her that fraction tighter in my arms, closer to a chest from which a heart can burst out any minute. Her voice hitch and I listen as those tearse stronger than a raging river down her cheeks. She is hurting, and so am I. I cannot bear to think that I shall lose her¡­not again. We seem to be losing each other more than we are locked into each other¡¯s arms. Guess this world is ruthless; it takes and does not ask any questions. It will take her if it wants to, and it will kill me in return. But I am a very stubborn man. I did not, and taught I was well by my father, but I did not be who I am if I did not live with pain if I was not killed inside every day. Love made that little bit of a difference in my life; it gave that softness to an edge that was far too rough. It taught me to think of someone else before I even considered my needs. Ana has made me soft; only she can look into these brown eyes and make my heart crumble, but she can kill this heart as well. And this heart, the real heart, is beating at such a drum that I can feel it been ripped from my chest. Now is that truly not also the real heart that has a feeling? Ana is the only one that holds the key to this beating pound of flesh in its real or another form. And she knows that. I cup her face between my hands and seek that sparkle in her eyes. ¡°Boo, every time that you leave through that door, you slice open and take my heart with you. You have sliced me so many times that there is nothing left to take. Every time youe back, you light a me in my soul. You heal those pieces that you take. I have learned to love you with my soul, for my heart is too fragile and too easy to take.¡± I watch as the tears tickle the corner of her eyes and burn ck crevices into her soft skin. She starts to stutter as she tries to answer me, but the moment is too much to bear. I gentlyy my lips on her eyes and kiss her tears away. ¡°Boo, my soul, will miss you, my heart will break, but it will be my essence that you take.¡± ¡°Soldier, you, this man with nothing but inches of perfection, yet a heart that is as delicate as the space that from where it is beating, you deserve the best that only the greatest woman can give. You need that woman by your side that will let you rise through this. That woman that shall hold your hand as you take and do what it is that you feel that you need to do. The question is, am I that woman?¡± ¡°You are not just any woman; you are a gift from the hands of an angel. You have been filled with all those things that the mind can only dream up in moments of total ecstasy. You and me, we were built for each other, not by the hands of our parents, but our destiny has always been written in the stars.¡± And I don¡¯t think there is really much more, for words don¡¯t need to tell, but there is nothing more I can or want to say to make her understand how important this is for me. ¡°Boo, I only want you to understand one thing. I am a Marine, and I will always be. Now I can sit here and wait for them toe after me again, or I can get to the bottom of this. I know right now I am a danger to be around, and I understand if you want to go back home again.¡± ¡°God, soldier, I am starting to think that you are awyer, for you are stating your case so confidently.¡± I only but chuckle at her as I pull her back into the tightness of my chest. Her body is still trembling, and that heart of hers is pounding with purpose against mine. I will not make this any harder on her than it is already. ¡°Boo, if you need to think of this, then you must.¡± ¡°You want me to leave and slice your heart open?¡±All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Well, preferably not.¡± ¡°Somehow, when I leave this time, I think that I will be taking your soul.¡± ¡°I think you might even be right, for it does take a soulless man that wishes to rage a war. But the war in my heart is far greater than the one that is waiting outside.¡± ¡°This war, this thing that you must do will this bring the peace that you need? Will it bring the justice that your father deserves?¡± ¡°Do you want me to be honest with you?¡± ¡°Yes, always.¡± ¡°Yes, boo.¡± ¡°Then let me ask you this. Is it worth going to go look for revenge? Why do you need to do this yourself?¡± ¡°I think we both know the answer to that.¡± She drops her head down and stares at the ss in her hand, it is slightly trembling, and I know that she knows that what I say is the truth. ¡°I love you, boo. And love, those four letters that are supposed to define a feeling in one word, is not enough on its own to tell you what I feel deep in my soul for you. There are so many other words that shall define our rtionship in the months toe, but please let regret not be one of them.¡± ¡°Soldier, you are right. I love you too, and I feel it just as deep. But you need to remember that it is not just me; I am carrying our child that is due in little less than two months. Can you protect both of us?¡± ¡°Boo, I am sorry.¡± I drop my head as the pain of what I have dragged my wife and child into is consuming every part of my thoughts. I have not once stopped thinking of that man with the deep dark eyes; I think that this shall be a memory that will haunt me for a while. But, ¡°This is a whole other war on its own.¡± ¡°Soldier, I have no idea; I cannot even begin to understand the danger that I am letting into my life. But, this danger, which is you. I am willing to, and I will do it over and over, but I will walk into this danger. I want to be by your side until the day that your side is not there anymore, and beyond that, you will still be the danger in my life.¡± ¡°Does this mean?¡± ¡°I chose you; I will always choose you.¡± Chapter 192 New Fear I have juste to learn that I cannot trust anybody. What I am notpletely sure about is who exactly it is that I cannot trust. All I know is that somebody is out to get my life. My question is, who wants me dead? I can honestly not think of one person, apart from one of the Jenkins brothers that would want me six feet under the ground, but as far as they go, two are firmly set with their asses in jail, and as for the third one, well that buff dumbo cannot put a n together like this by himself. So this still leaves me with who has got an ax to grind? Have I really pissed a man off so bad that he is willing to not only take my life but that of my wife and my unborn child? Well, they are not getting a third attempt under their sleeve. If it is thest thing that I ever do, then that will be to protect Ana and our baby. It sickens me that a man can do such a ruthless as to try and harm a child. I can understand if I have pissed you off, but leave my goddamn family out of your evil n to end my not-so-important life. What have I done wrong to piss someone off so badly that they want me dead? So once Ray has left, Gibbs takes a seat in the lounge; the man is refusing to leave Ana and me alone for tonight. After giving him a nket and pillow to make himselffortable on the couch, I led a very worried Ana back to the room. Once we are in, I firmly shut the door behind us. I wiggle my ass out of my jeans, and then she so casually insists that I rid myself of the only other thing that was going to stop me from taking her. Now god, I know this woman can scream. Do I even try and take her without her moans waking Gibbs up. Fuck that. I slip my naked body past every inch of her hot skin; she is soft and tight and, oh my god, so sweet in all the right ces. The very ache for her is growing intensely painful between my thighs as I am nearly about to burst out begging for her touch. She cups my tight ass in her small little hands and grinds and does she grind. The tension is growing, and the ease of the wet sensation, and don¡¯t fucking ask me if it is her or me, but god, we are sliding like an ice block on a hot summer¡¯s day. Without having the willpower to control it anymore, I find myself doing the very thing I was trying to avoid, ¡°God, Ana, please.¡± She palms the base of my erection and drags her hand up so slow; I feel like I can almost fucking die. Then down she goes, slipping her thumb over the tip of my head and dragging those fingers until I am covered in my own damn wet mess. ¡°Ana, you are going to fucking make me cum, and this is not what I had in mind.¡± ¡°It is called forey, Ethan.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think I will be able to survive forey.¡± She, now this girl, is petite, but she flips me over on top of her, and I am exactly right where I want to be. I do not care for her forey; I want to be so deep inside her that I will rip her apart. Every part of my hot flesh wants to be tucked inside her. I lift her on top of myp, and she hooks those long elegant legs around my waist. My hand tangles in her hair, and I pull her head back so far that her bare neck is fully exposed for my tongue to take. With long slow kisses, I drag my lips down her soft skin; she moans and only but whispers. ¡°I thought you couldn¡¯t survive forey.¡± ¡°Oh, Ana, this is just to make you wet.¡± ¡°Fuck, Ethan, I don¡¯t think I can¡­¡± I kiss her words away as I take those sweet lips and nibble on them gently. Then, when I think it cannot even go further, I pull her head back, so all that is lying bare in front of me is her fully erect nipples. With slow but hard circles, I ripple my tongue over them. Her body jerks and I feel as she is bing a total wet mess. ¡°Bend back, Ana.¡± As if the poor girl is not already arched against the bed. I lift her as but only a bit up for totalfort of ess and thrust into her without a single warning. ¡°Oh, god, Ethan.¡± She scrunched her hands in the sheets, and I m even harder, a full deep thrust making her body shudder. The bolt shooting through me as the depth of my erection overwhelms me leaves a deep growl from my throat. ¡°Fuck, Ana. God, I missed you.¡± I thrust again, pulling that tiny head back, giving me wider ess as I push her legs even further apart. Then another thrust with so much force that she slides off myp and falls back down on the bed. Pulling her back by the legs and wrapping her firmly, I grind my erection deep into her until she squirms. I only but leave her tightness for but a second and m a deep thrust between her legs again. ¡°Yes, fuck, Ethan.¡± ¡°Ana, I am going to fuck you so hard until your cry.¡± Then just as I am about to drive with extra force, there is a goddamn knock on the door. It is fucking Gibbs. ¡°Listen,¡± I warn him. ¡°There better be someone fucking dying out there.¡± ¡°Sorry, Ethan, man. But Ray has been trying and can¡¯t get hold of you.¡± Ya, cause I am busy fucking my wife. ¡°Well, I think it is quite obvious why not, now what is the problem.¡± ¡°Something about you having to go through, there is a problem.¡± Fuck. I slide out a very frustrated Ana as I grab my jeans and get dress again I was so fucking close. Fuck. I can¡­Ray will kill me is if I don¡¯t get back to him now. But does the man not know what time it is? He could have easily have waited for just a few more couple hours, or at least a few more minutes. It is with haste that I get dressed, trying my level best not to scare poor Ana to shit. But by the look on her face, I can see that she is even perhaps more worried than me. It is with a deep sigh that I look deep into those brown eyes will I make sure that she is tucked in warm underneath the nket. ¡°Boo, we will be back before you even know it.¡± So I leave her with a kiss on the lips, and I can see the woman is about to murder Gibbs and me. After giving her a rather intimate kiss, getting a full sweet taste of her, I leave the room. ¡°Gibbs, seriously. Could you not have waited for another second?¡± ¡°Sorry, but Ray is in a t spin. He needs us to get over there now. Something about he has got a lead.¡±All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. With that, I grab my jacket and gun from the room. In less than a mere minute, Gibbs and I make our way out the door. Fuck. So as we race through what is an especially dark night, the rain starts to beat down like little balls of water on the windscreen and sshing down on the road. Absolutely perfect weather. The thought that we can get hit any moment runs its course through my mind. I am not safe. There is no ce that I am safe. I am in danger as I am driving this road, and I am putting Gibbs in danger with me. But then it hits me. Fuck¡­Ana. We have left her alone at home, not thinking very clearly. I jump on the phone to get hold of her, but it seems to be just ringing. She is probably sleeping. Not being too much concerned, I find myself turning soon into the driveway at Ray¡¯s ce, where I find a very nervous man waiting outside for me. ¡°Fuck, Ray. What is wrong?¡± ¡°I just got word which the tes belong to.¡± ¡°My god, who?¡± He shudders and can barely talk; then, he looks at Gibbs that is standing next to me. ¡°Who is with Ana?¡± There is a coldness that settles over my body as I look at him with aplete numbness in my eyes, ¡°We left her alone. Why?¡± Ya, that is where I wish that he never speaks for his next words will haunt me. But it is not the words so much but the terror of fear that is held in his eyes. The wordse agonizingly slow¡­. ¡°Get Ana out of that house. Chapter 193 Seven Horrors I think that I have just fucking died. I am staring at a man that has gonepletely pale and has the fear of seven horrors in his eyes. Now, this is Ray Evans that we are talking about. This man does not scare easily, but something has just got him spooked. He takes his trembling hand to my shoulder and speaks to me with an urgent voice, ¡°Go get Ana out of that house.¡± I look at him rather confused as he starts pushing me back into the direction of my car, ¡°What the fuck is going on, Ray?¡± ¡°That fucking asshole¡­,¡± he stumbles as he tries to get each syble of the name over his lips. ¡°You cannot trust¡­ Just get Ana out of that house.¡± He opens my car door and urges me on, ¡°Just get the fuck out of here, get Ana. I will exinter.¡± I do not even think another minute; within an inch of a second, my foot ms the pedal to the floor, and I am from zero to sixty out of that driveway towards my house again. What the fuck is going on here? Who does Ray not trust? So as I am speeding back in the dark of the night with the rain that is still pounding down, Williams and Gibbs only but hold on as I drive like a mad man down the streets of Pendleton. The tires are screeching around each turn I take,ing near close to swerving off the road a few times. The beat of my heart is drumming so loud that I can hardly concentrate. Through hazy eyes that have been drowning in fear-filled tears, I can barely focus my attention on where I am going. The only thing that matters now is that I get to Ana as fast as I can. Once we are well on our way, much to the horror of Gibbs, I take my hand from the steering wheel to reach for my phone in my pocket. Nearly hitting a pavement, giving him one minor heart attack, I look down at the screen and flip for Ana¡¯s number to start dialing it. It rings. And rings. And fucking rings. God knows why she has a phone; she never answers the thing. So I pick up my speed and glide even faster down the road, catching each corner with a sliding ass to the left and then nearly spinning around to the right. My ass ising near to crashing on one too many asions. I am driving like a fucking lunatic, I am going to kill myself even before I get to Ana, but there is no time for slowing down. I will die if something has to happen to Ana. And Ana is the one I am trying to phone again, but ya, the woman is still not answering her phone. God, I hope she is sleeping¡­Fuck, what would¡­? Well, that is not a thought that I wish to think of. Why the fuck is Ray so scared? This is not making any sense, and it is driving me goddamn mad. For what seems that could have nearly been half a damn day, I finally pull into the driveway at our home. From where I am parked, well, it all looks¡­safe. Let hope the fuck it is the same inside. So as I step out of the car, I have this cold shiver that creeps up my spine. Now, I wish to say that it is because of the cold air and the rain that is beating down on my skin, but no, I have a feeling that something is wrong. I pull my gun from where it is tucked in the back of my pants, and I hold the grip firm. Then I slowly start to make my way to the front door. As I creep around the corner up the pathway that goes to the front door, everything seems eerily quiet. But quiet it should be, well for everyone but Gibbs and Williams that is now splitting up and taking the side and the back. So as I slowly open the front door, I find the lounge empty. I scan the kitchen¡­then¡­ The fucking back door opens. I nearly jump my ass off as I see Williamsing through the door. ¡°You idiot,¡± I snap at him. ¡°You gave me a goddam fright.¡± ¡°Hey, who else were you expecting?¡± I but wave him off as I make my way to Ana¡¯s room. Without trying to make much of a noise, I slowly sneak my head around the corner. But my heart fucking stops¡­ Ana is not in bed. ¡°Fuck! Williams! Gibbs!¡± They bothe speeding through the house with their guns drawn. Williams is the first to reach me with a very confused look on his face, ¡°Ethan, what is wrong?¡± ¡°Ana,¡± I point to our bedroom. ¡°She is not here. Search this house! Search the ground!¡± Williams rushes through the kitchen out the back door and starts searching the grounds at the back, the outhouse, and the garage. Gibbs is out the front door and searches the gardens and even outside in the street. I spin on my heels and go to the room, which will be the nursery. I slowly push the door open with the barrel of my gun and step inside. I look from left to right¡­once¡­twice¡­it is clear. The next room¡­scan in once¡­twice¡­it is clear. Same with the next room. The bathrooms are all empty, the lounge even emptier. There is not a fucking soul in this house. Where is Ana? Then I take my phone and take one rather deep breath, for god, I am going to need it. I am about to phone Ray to tell him that Ana is not here. I need to know what the fuck is going on here. And he seems to be the one that knows. So once Williams and Gibbse inside shaking their heads, I know that I am about to put the final nail in my coffin. So with what are very trembling fingers, I swipe up and find Ray¡¯s number, it is almost immediately, and he answers. ¡°Ethan, please give me good news.¡± I stutter as I am trying to find the right words to say to him, but before I can even try, I hear him scream inplete despair. Now let me tell you, I have never heard Ray in agony; I have heard in a fury, but not in this way. So I give him a few seconds topose himself before I question him, ¡°What is going on, Ray? Where is Ana?¡± ¡°That fucking asshole took her.¡± I hear him grunt and something goes crashing against a wall. Then when he speaks again, he is even angrier than before. ¡°That fucking asshole took your wife.¡± I nearly fall on my ass, ¡°Whom are you talking about?¡± ¡°It is..,¡± I hear his voice growl as a namees mumbling from his lips, but the static is so bad that I cannot hear a single word that he has just said. ¡°He has taken her.¡± ¡°I know!¡± I rumble out in frustration. ¡°I know that someone has taken Ana. What the fuck is going on here? I need to find my wife, and you are not making goddamn sense.¡± He goes silent for a while, and I know that there is more to all of this than what he is not telling me. So I wait for him patiently, ¡°Ray! Ray!¡± But there isplete silence as the phone goes dead. In an instant, I flip to dial his number again¡­but the phone is off! ¡°The fucking phone is off!¡± I look in frustration at Gibbs, and with that, Williams drags me by the arm towards the car again. ¡°This time, I am driving. You are going to kill all of us tonight, and what good are we to Ana then.¡±Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. With that, we pile back into the car and head back to Ray. The man better start making sense and tell me who is behind this, for I am not slightly starting to lose my very limited patience. So even faster than before, we make our way back, where we find a very troubled Ray standing with one broken phone in his hand. I only but shake my head at him, ¡°Don¡¯t you think that you were going to need that?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t get your wise-ass with me now. Sit down so I can exin to you what is going on.¡± Then he pauses for a brief moment, ¡°Ana will be fine; he is not after her; he wants you. The man has lost his fucking marbles.¡± ¡°Ray,¡± I raise my voice for him to focus on me. ¡°What are you talking about?¡± Well, do I wish that I just shut my mouth and not asked it in the first ce? Hell, I would have sat perfectly with it if he told me that Ana had gone to a mall or have their hair done, even nails, but what he says next rips my chest open and shes my heart into pieces. It is as if the world just disappears around mepletely and falls into shit. I fall down to my knees with my phone still sped in my hand. Then, again, ¡°Why?¡± Chapter 194 Bringing It Down It feels like winter has set over my body as I hear the wordsing from Ray on the other end of the line. A coldness has not only but numbed my desire to move but also grown over my heart, icing every single emotion that I should be feeling at this very moment. It is not that I do not care for what has happened, but the mere fact is that my entire world has been taken away. How the fuck did this happen? Never once did I expect that my biggest rival would be part of the very people that we were trying to kill me. I will give this to him; he has god some balls. But I still have no idea, and Ray is not very forting, but I have no clue as to why the man has gone this far in taking my wife and even further that he has been trying to kill me without much luck. I can only think how such a failure much hurt that ego of his. It is a wonder that he has note and do the job himself yet, or has he and I have just not noticed it? Now, what is our next move? First, I need Ray toe clean with me. So Ipose myself and ask him the very same question I have been repeating, ¡°Ray, why would he take Ana?¡± I can hear the hesitation in his voice as he tries to avoid the question, ¡°Ethan, let us just focus on getting Ana back for now.¡± Well, I do not think that is going to happen, ¡°Ray, I need to know what I am up against.¡± ¡°All you need to know now, Ethan.¡± He pauses for a few seconds; then, he continues with a much firmer voice. ¡°The only thing that matters now is that we get Ana home.¡± With that, I drop the call rather frustrated. Ray is making it hard for me. How the fuck am I supposed to protect Ana if he is holding back on me. So very annoyed, Williams, Gibbs, and me pile into my car and make our way over to Ray. Now the weather has still not yed on our side. It ising down hard and beating with force against the body of the car. Visibility is near damn impossible, and let us not even mention the rate the car is sliding over the road. If I was this goddamn asshole, this is the perfect weather that I would strike. We are like a little sitting duck in the pond, and ya, the man thinks he is invisible. Well, I have got news for him. But if I were him, I would be shitting my fucking pants. When Iy my hands on him, I shall rearrange that face of him that not even his grandmother would recognize him. He shall suffer my wrath. If I think about this now, and again, how would I have ever expected it? But yes, he did try and drive a wedge between Ana and me that time. I should have fucking knocked him out when I wanted to; in fact, I should have knocked him out the very first he threw a wise-assment my way. After what seems like hours, we are finally pulling into the driveway of Ray. And as I scope the grounds, I don¡¯t see anything out of ce, but ya, we don¡¯t know if they are lurking in the shadows. The moment wee to a stop, Ray is already waiting for us at the doorway. So I nearly stumble out of the car as I rush over to where the idiot is so casually waiting, ¡°Do you want to get yourself killed?¡± ¡°If I was not so consumed with finding Ana,¡± I listen to him as his voice grows louder. ¡°Then I would have fucking break your fingers.¡± Then he pauses for a few moments again, but when he sees that I am looking fairly calm, he continues again. ¡°How are we going to get Ana back?¡± ¡°Well,¡± I bite down on my lip as several scenarios start running through my head. ¡°We can always just go fetch her, but we don¡¯t know if she is really at his ce.¡± I then shake my head as I do not agree with my own n, then I continue. ¡°We can wait and see what his next move is.¡± Ya, that kind of makes no sense. So, ¡°I think we must hit him. He would probably be waiting for us, but hey, they are probably outside here somewhere on the ground already ready to strike.¡± ¡°Then,¡± Ray turns around as he heads down to his study, ¡°Let¡¯s get our shit ready and go find Ana.¡± This is knocking Ray pretty hard, for not only does he feel like Ana is as a daughter to him, but he has promised me that no matter what, he will always protect her. And right now, the man feels like he has failed both of us. After what seemed like forever, Ray fucking walks up to us with a damn arsenal; I only but shake my head at him, ¡°Ray, no disrespect, but is all that shit necessary?¡± ¡°A man needs toe prepared,¡± he tries to exin to me. I shake my head at him as I take away an extra Ruger, a pump-action shotgun, and even fucking grenades. The damn man is insane. Finally disarming the man off his entire ¡®hit gear,¡¯ the four of us get into one of the SUVs. Now, if four is going to be enough to hit this damn asshole, well, that is what will are about going to see. We make it down to the south where his ce is, under the darkness of the dreadful weather, and I stop about a block away and start making our way per foot closer to the house. Now, this damn asshole has more fucking windows than are normal in his damn house. Trying to get in unseen is going to require some skill which, in no disrespect, I think Ray does not possess at the very moment. But ya, you try telling the man to stay in the car. I quite frankly, at this very stage, don¡¯t give a fuck about protecting him; I only want Ana. Now, it is too damn dark to see where he has his men positioned. All we can do is try to stay against the fence wall and hope that we do not trigger something, for I would not expect anything less from him. But what does count in our favor is the fucking amount of trees he has on the outside of his house. So with this stroke of luck, we can easily make our way up to the back.Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. Ya, whom the fuck walks into the front. Williams is the first to find himself over the wall, well, not-so-high fence either. I much say he is one stupid asshole. No wonder they steal half of his shit all the time; the man knows nothing about protection. As Williams¡¯s feet hit the ground, he scans from the left¡­ to the right¡­it is clear, then again, left¡­ to the right¡­ clear. He softly signals for us that we can jump the fence behind him. With feet firmly standing on the ground, which is yet another invitation for a clear war, I softly whisper to confirm our n of action. And so we go. As Gibbs and I make it unnoticed from the fence to the back door, he slowly creeks it open. He waits for a few seconds to make sure that the noise has gone unheard. Then we make our way with a snail¡¯s pace inside, keeping our backs hunched and our guns armed. We start making the way to the kitchen. It is dark, and I cannot sense any movement. I swear if some fuck jumps from behind the fridge, then I will die. While we are moving in from the back, we slip our way in and then out of the kitchen; we can safely say that all is clear on this side of the house. Next is the lounge. Oddly. Strangely. But most worryingly. It is clear. But, just as we are about to head up the stairs, the front door opens. Fuck¡­my body freezes, and my reality sets in¡­today, I am going to die. But, just as I am about to thank my maker, goddamn Ray and Williamse through the door. I raise my eyebrows, somewhat confused at the fact that they have gained entry without any resistance from inside. I push this aside and head upstairs to his bedroom that should being up on the righthand side. But as I sneak through the hallway, everything is eerily quiet. Each room¡­is quiet. There is nobody in sight. I shake my head out of frustration and look Ray straight in the eyes, ¡°Ana is not here.¡± But then¡­ Chapter 195 Little Interrogation We have just made entry into the home, but after searching every single room, there is no sight of Ana. In fact, there is no sight from any living soul. This does not sit right by me; why would he leave his homepletely unattended. Well, the man is a fucking idiot; I would not really put it past him. But this is the same fucking idiot that has Ana, and we have now established that she is not here. Ya, count your words before you speak. Next, there is a scuffle thates from behind, and a terrifying voice mumbles something that sounds like, ¡°Drop your fucking guns.¡± Well, that ain¡¯t happening today. In an inch of a second, I spin on my heels and face the fuck that has now got his gun in my face. Does he now truly think that he is intimidating me? I guess we are about to have a little show-off, But wait¡­ ¡°What the fuck?¡± My jaw drops to the floor as I stare at the man that I amying my eyes upon. ¡°Matthews, what the fuck? What are you doing here?¡± ¡°Hey,¡± he ever so casually speaks, ¡°He made me an offer that I could not refuse.¡± Ya, I will show him an offer that he cannot refuse. Now, surely this man knows he is looking at the wrong men to have their guns pointed at his face, so, ¡°Put your goddamn gun down. You know that there is no way you are getting past me, and you seem to forget who is standing next to me.¡± I look at Ray with eyes that are burning with fury. When this is over, then I am definitely going to hear from him. Yet I need to remind Matthews, ¡°If I do not manage to fucking shoot you, Ray is going to have your eyeballs served to his dog on a silver tter. There is only but a rumble ofughter that escapes Matthews¡¯s throat. I guess the man wants to learn his lesson today. However, let us not forget that he is not alone. Gibbs and Williams are staring their own little problem in the face, I don¡¯t know who the man is, but he does not look any brighter than Matthews. These are the two dumbest assholes on the, four against two. Let us outweigh it¡­ Without having to burst out in my own intimidatingughter, I only but warn Matthews once, ¡°I suggest, and believe me; I am not asking you again, drop that fucking gun down.¡± Ya, the man has a death wish. I look over to Ray¡­ Now we have two options here, the one I do believe Ray will enjoy, and I, well, I opt for the other. As if Ray knows what I am thinking, he only but nods his head. Then¡­ Out of fucking nowhere steps out another asshole with an over-eager gun pointed straight at our heads. I only but nod at Ray. In an inch of a split second, I slightly squeeze the trigger of the piece of metal that is firmly gripped in my palm. I feel the adrenaline seep through my veins as I feel that bullet slip into the chamber. It slides its way through, and with a slight jolt, I can feel as it leaves. There is a loud snap, and as if in slow motion, I can see it spin through the air and pierce his shirt and find itself exploding into his chest. Next to me, I hear godawfulughtere as Ray shoots Matthews in the leg. I watch as he drops to the floor as elegantly as a feather. Now, we are notplete idiots, yes we walked into a trap, but hey, we recover well. And, guess what, ¡°You are going to wish that you never fucking double-crosses me.¡± I step forward and kick Matthews¡¯s before I grab him up by the arm. ¡°You areing with me.¡± The man does not know the fate that awaits him. After searching the grounds for what could be a third time, we can safely say that the idiot has, in fact, left his house unattended. And with that, we make out way back to Ray¡¯s house feeling rather defeated. ¡­Ana POV¡­ I have no idea what is going on here. One minute I am in bed having some hot dream about Ethan, then the next, I am being dragged out by some man I do not know. So, what do I do? I listen to the man. He drags, now I am not shitting you; the man dragged me with nothing but these damn nighties on. Now my first thought was that something might have happened to Ethan, but no, when I realized that we were headed in apletely different direction other than Ray¡¯s home, I got the feeling that something was not quite adding up here. After what seemed like a rather crazy drive, we found ourselves outside the city, heading onto a dirt road which at the time seemed to have led as to nowhere. Just as I thought he would stop out here and whack me, I realized that something else was going on. So yes, soon, we find ourselves stopping in front of a rundown house. By the number of ck SUVs, I realized that this is not just a normal gathering; well, that is what I thought at first. Now, of course, I thought it was Ethan, yet again I was clearly mistaken, for the minute I stepped a foot out of the car, that is when I saw him. ¡°What the fuck? What is going on here? Why the hell are you here?¡± Yes, of course, the man gives me a good up and down once over. The lust and god, the thoughts that were running through his mind, were clearly burning in those evil eyes. Not once did he leave my nce as he stepped closer, ¡°Hello, Ana.¡± I shake my head in disbelief, ¡°What is happening here?¡± Then as the asshole steps closer, he grabs me by the arm and leads me inside the house. Well, if I thought he would sit me down, I was in for a nasty surprise. Up he pulls some sturdy wooden chair and, with the greatest of ease, ties me to it. There is only one word that leaves my lips as I look at him, ¡°Asshole.¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ Ya, Matthews thought we were going to have a little chat. Well, Ray has something far, let me say, very painful in mind for him. So once we find ourselves back at the house, very frustrated that Ana is not with us, we take Matthews to the kitchen. I am sure Ray¡¯s misses won¡¯t mind a little blood in here. Ray, with duct tape in hand and me pulling a chair from the dining room closer, we tie Matthews pretty tight so that he cannot move an inch. Then the fun begins¡­C¨°ntens bel0ngs to N?(v)elDr/a/ma.Org ¡°Now,¡± I decided to take it slow. ¡°Where is Ana?¡± He only but smirks at me, ¡°I am not fucking telling you.¡± ¡°Fair, are we going to y that one?¡± I step but a half of a step closer. ¡°You know it is such a fucking clich¨¦. Now again, where is Ana?¡± ¡°Again, Hunter.¡± He talks to me mockingly. ¡°I am not telling you a thing.¡± Then Ray steps forward, ¡°Listen here, you dumb fuck, l won¡¯t be asking as nice as Ethan. Where is Ana?¡± Well, just as Matthews is about to say it once again, ¡°No,¡± I so casually take my Ruger from the back of my pants where I tucked it, and before he can say another word, I pop a bullet in his foot. ¡°Aaahhh, goddammit.¡± I hear his scream of agony filter to every corner. ¡°Are you fucking crazy? I burst out in a cackle; my god, I don¡¯t know where I find it, but all that I can get out between the pleasure of myughter is, ¡°Now, I am asking you again. Where is Ana?¡± ¡°And I am telling you again,¡± he so bravely stares me straight into the eyes. ¡°I am not telling you.¡± ¡°Well, then you won¡¯t mind if I shoot you in the other foot.¡± ¡°God, no.¡± ¡°Then tell me, where is Ana?¡± He looks at me, and I swear his eyes are pleading, ¡°He is going to kill me.¡± ¡°Guess what, Matthews.¡± My voice grows deep and firm, ¡°If he does not kill you, then I am.¡± But wait, Ray has now returned to the kitchen with what clearly looks to me as plyers. Matthews looks at him in pure horror. ¡°What are you going to do with those?¡± Ray only but smirks at him, ¡°What do you think?¡± I watch in absolute horror as Ray steps closer to Matthews; there is an evil in his eyes that I have never seen before. This man is going to do what he can to find Ana. So what do I do? Chapter 196 A Greater Mission I am not one for torture; that is Ray¡¯s game. If there is one thing that he is feared for, then that is it; he will, without hesitation, cut all your fingers off. The man has no shame when ites to removing your body parts. Now, believe me, this man is on a greater mission, which body parts he will take, well that remains to be seen. All I want is to get Ana home. But one thing I can tell for certain is when I find this fucking asshole, I am removing every single damn thing he uses to give a woman pleasure. The man is scum, and he has only but once proven that again. So as I watch Ray walk with that godawful plyer, I cannot help but cringe and snap my eyes closed for but one second. Then¡­ Ya¡­he calls for Williams, now Williams is terrified like shit as he moves closer. Yet, as he knows is best for him, he does exactly as Ray tells him. With somewhat of a trembling hand, he grabs hold of Matthews¡¯s right hand and pins it firmly in ce on the chair. In absoluteplete horror, I watch as Ray takes those very same plyers and positing Matthews¡¯s pinky between it. With¡­one¡­two¡­three¡­ I hear a bone crack, blood is squirting everywhere, and Matthews¡¯s voice vibrates through the kitchen into the hallways. And yes, Ray has a fucking smile on his face. Williams that is now fairly covered in blood, steps away as Matthews¡¯s pinky drops to the floor. I watch as the poor man gags, and I swear he is so close to fainting. Ya, as I said, we are not into torture. I fucking shoot you¡­that is it. But even though this is fun to watch, there is one question that is yet to remain to be answered. ¡­Ana POV¡­ I still wish that someone can tell me what is going on here. Most important of it all, why the fuck has he dragged me out in the middle of the night for? But before we even answer that, ¡°Can you at least give me some fucking clothes to put on.¡± I watch as he disappears off into the house and returns with a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, and tosses it in my face. I only butugh at him, for he is so damn stupid. ¡°How am I supposed to get this on if you have tied me to a chair?¡± I hear him grunt and grind on his teeth as he reluctantly steps forward toe to untie me. As soon he unties me, I am making my move. So in one¡­two¡­three¡­ I kick him in the shin and dash for the doorway. I am not even two steps away, and he had his arms around my waist. Pulling me back into the house, ¡°Let me go!¡± My voice vibrates through the house as I try to free myself from his grip, yet again, ¡°Let mego!¡± He bursts out in uncontrobleughter; well, perhaps I can even call it a cackle. But whatever ising out of that fucking filthy mouth is not human. This man is pure evil. Though my battle is not over, I bite into the sensitive parts of the exposed skin on his waist, ¡°Let me go!¡± I once again plead, but it only falls upon death ears. Then, much to my disgust, he has his gun firmly pointed at my face as he watches me will I get dressed. There is no getting away from here. I just hope that Ethanes soon. Though for a very few minutes, I push this thought to the back of my mind, and I stare at him. ¡°What the fuck is going on here?¡± I watch as he looks at me, ¡°Oh, you will soon see.¡± ¡­Ethan POV¡­ Well, I have just witness Matthews losing another finger. I wish the fuck will tell Ray what he wants to know, for my stomach might not be able to bear it. So, once again, he moves a step closer with what now is a very sharp hunting knife. I do not know what he is going to do with that, but I do not wish to know. Then Ray starts again, ¡°Where is that asshole keeping Ana.¡± I watch as Matthews stumbles over his words as he is clearly in a great deal of pain, ¡°I don¡¯t know! All he said is that we should stay behind as he would be expecting you to show up there.¡± Ray ignores himpletely and steps one terrifying step closer, ¡°Where is Ana?¡± Yet, Matthews has the very same answer, ¡°I do not know!¡± Then Ray gets a smirk on his face, more like an evil that has overtaken his body, ¡°Do you know what I am going to do with this?¡± He waves his knife in front of Matthews¡¯s face. ¡°Please,¡± Matthews begs. ¡°Please, I really do not know where they are.¡± Ray steps that one more ominous step closer; I can hear his heel ck against the tiles as absolute silence falls over the room. ¡°I am not asking you again.¡± Withplete horror, I watch him pull Matthews by the hair. ¡°If you don¡¯t tell me now, then you will never be able to say another word again.¡± There is the fear of seven horrors that creep into Matthews¡¯s eyes. Then, with only but what is a suffocation whimper, he speaks to Ray that has the knife to his cheek now. ¡°All I know is that they have gone to some old rundown house outside of the city.¡± ¡°Where?¡± Ray growls as he slides his knife down Matthews¡¯s cheek. ¡°I don¡¯t know, I promise you. I really do not know.¡± Ray turns and faces me; ¡°Is he telling the truth?¡± Ray raises but one eyebrow, and he patiently waits for my answer. ¡°Yes, he is.¡± With that, I see Matthews breathe a sigh of relief, and I, for his damn sake, hope that Ray is done with his torture. And so begins the search for this house. But there is yet another option, and this one involves breaking thew. So, of course, I am the one that is presenting the options as Ray looks me on, ¡°We can track his car or his cellphone. I think we are going to waste our time trying to look for a damn old rundown house. Who knows, they might have even moved her.¡± Then there is where Ray calls for a eureka moment, ¡°Fuck, why did you not suggest it in the first ce?¡± I look at him, trying my damn best not tough, ¡°Hey, you have some scary shit in your hand. I was not going to interfere when you were having fun.¡± For a rare moment, heughs, which actually seems genuine, then he carries on, ¡°Do what you have to. We need to get Ana back home.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ Something really messed up is going on here. I swear when I get loose here, I will kill him. But just before he can tell me what the fuck is going on around here, there is another man thates running into the house, I listen as they speak in hushed voices, then all of a sudden, they are all gone. Well, that is just fantastic. So he leaves me all alone. Now, this asshole is not, is a boy scout. He has not tightened these ropes tight enough to hold. So this is my moment. I am getting the fuck out of here. One thing that my dad did show me is how to tie and untie real big ass tied knots. Well, this one is not nearly big ass enough; it is going to be far too easy. While keeping a firm eye on the door, I follow the loops that flow into each other. The rope is not thick, and fairly easy to squeeze my fingers underneath. With each knot that flows into the left, I pull it out to the right. I tuck them one by one, into left, out to the right. Slowly they start toe lose and loser. With one final pull, theplete knotes apart, and I slip my hands out. I sit for a few moments and wait for someone toe through the door; then, as I see nobody is about toe in, I start to work on the knots that are keeping my feet to the chair. I give myself a big ass pat on the back as I have myselfpletely freed from the chair. But now I must get out of here. So while keeping an eye on that front door, I scan the inside of the house. There is no back door, but lucky the windows do not have security bars in front of them and they are fairly low, low enough for me to get through one of them. I sneak to the first window I can find at the very back of the house; well, here is hoping that nobody is standing at the back. Slowly I start to work at one of the windows, but as I pull it open, it starts to make a loud crack. I stand inplete haunting silence as I wait for someone to rush in from outside. Yet. Nothing. I slowly push myself up and slip my legs one by one out the open window. It ispletely pitch dark; there is no way of knowing if there is someone out here until I am on top of them. But after a save few steps, I start to feel that I have made it. But then¡­ As I am trying to disappear into the darkness¡­ I wait¡­ But, still, nothing¡­ Once I feel that it is safe, I slowly start to run¡­ I have no fucking idea where I am.N?velDrama.Org owns this text. Chapter 197 Finding Ana I havee to the final conclusion that Ray is messed up. I have grown beyond scared of him in the past hour. Yet his attempts to get information out of Matthews has been futile. The irritation and anger is only but growing with every minute that Matthews is lying to him about where they are keeping Ana. Although I am very convinced that he is telling the truth, Ray is not about to give up on his torture just yet. So I am standing here, listening to Gibbs as he phones a friend that can help him track this asshole¡¯s phone. Now I do not have patience, and it is wearing very thin as I wait for him to drop the call. Once he is done, I look at him while he is only standing motionless, ¡°Anything?¡± He looks at me and shakes his head, ¡°Sorry, Ethan, but his phone is off; the card might even not be in it anymore.¡± Okay, that is one setback; he better has a good answer for number two, ¡°And the tracking device in his car?¡± I watch as he bites down on his bottom lip, and I know what he is about to say, ¡°Sorry, they must have ripped the thing out.¡± ¡°Fuck.¡± I drop my face and pinch hard on the bridge of my nose; I am so goddamn frustrated. But yet, ¡°What else is there?¡± Then I turn my attention to Matthews, who is still very much sitting tied to a chair. The poor man is bleeding out, but he is still alive to be useful yet. So I walk on over him with Gibbs short on my tail. I watch as an eager Ray joins, for he is ready to make him lose some limbs. Well, this is now my show; Ray has outlived his usefulness. ¡°Okay,¡± I pull a chair closer in front of Matthews and rest my gun on my leg. I can see how he starts to tremble. This man knows what I will do; I will fucking pump so many holes in him that he will drain dead. So with a rather a shit scary-ass grin on my face, I start¡­ ¡°Matthews,¡± I try to keep my voice calm, for the man has lost his damn tongue, not really his tongue; he just does not want to speak. So, ¡°I want to know how you keep in touch with your so-called boss?¡± He only but shakes his head. Well¡­ I lift my gun slowly from where I was holding it firmly on my leg. I pull the clip out and check if it is fully loaded. Now, by now, this man must be shitting himself. So just to make him sweat a little bit longer, I slip one bullet out and shine it on my pants. I can hear his breathing starting to be strained. Then, once again. ¡°How do you keep in touch with him?¡± Yes, perhaps this would be an easy answer if we found a phone on this man, yet, we did not. Still stubborn, no answer. I m the clip back into the gun, just for some scary effect. Then, I cock is and watch Matthews¡¯s face as I center my finger over the trigger. I watch as he swallows hard but yet¡­no answer. Then with a rather wicked smirk on my face, I look at him again, ¡°And?¡± One¡­two¡­three¡­ I pump a bullet into his shin. I nearly fall off the chair, and I burst out in fuckingughter. ¡°Now, are you going to tell me how do you keep in contact with him?¡± He looks at me with horror on his face, but ya, the man has grown some balls for he is nodding, ¡°It is in that drawer.¡± It is with a very nervous, and terrified Matthews, that I find the very thing that will lead us to Ana. So as Matthews checks in to confirm that we have not been here, well, a very firm barrel in his face assured me of that. His so-called boss is now under the impression that none of us has be aware of Ana¡¯s disappearance. Well, the man must be fucking stupid for believing that, in fact, the man is just in fucking stupid as it is. Now while Matthews is trying to keep the asshole long enough on the walkie-talkie, Gibbs gets the location. They are thirty-eight miles from here. So with Matthews in hand, for we still need him to be useful, we get in the SUVs into that direction.C¨°ntens bel0ngs to N?(v)elDr/a/ma.Org It is with absolute haste that we are speeding through the city. The only ray of hope now is that we know that they have not moved Ana. As for our n of action yet, well as far as Ray is concerned he is just going to storm in there and get all of us fucking killed. So it will take us about forty-five minutes to arrive there. We have Matthews with his walkie-talkie. Gibbs will keep on tracking the location as long as Matthews keeps up a conversation. This is a fucking mess. How do we get in there without being seen? Think¡­Ethan¡­Think. Walk straight into the front door? I seem to think that he will have more men on hand than I do. As for firepower, well Ray came pretty well equipped with that. We can¡­ya, let us rethink. But what if we just fucking blow ourselves in there. Not a chance¡­I am not putting Ana¡¯s life in danger. Perhaps, ya, I am leaning to, perhaps we should not attack in the darkness. ¡°Gibbs.¡± ¡°Yes, Ethan?¡± ¡°What do you think wey low and only attack when the sun rises?¡± ¡°Good idea, but also risky. He would have a better idea that we have discovered his location. I suggest we still do it under darkness.¡± Then he but goes silent for a few seconds. ¡°It is if that fucking Ray does not get us discovered in the first ce.¡± ¡°Hey, the man has gone fucking crazy.¡± Gibbs only butughs at me before I continue¡­ But it is Matthews that is the next to speak, ¡°You know that you will never see Ana again.¡± ¡­Ana POV¡­ Yes, my clever, at first, but now my ass has no idea where she is. I have just gotten safely out of the house, and am going deep into what is an endless and endless amount of trees. I think I am safe to say that I am off into the woods. Fuck, I did not even know that there are woods around the city. This is a goddamn nightmare. I could not even grab my phone as I was making my escape for the asshole had it trashed, but I know he had that damn walkie-talkie that was standing on the table. Perhaps I should have taken that. By now Ethan must know that I am gone. He must be fucking boiling. So, what do I do now? Wait¡­first I must¡­ It has started to rain, making it absolutely useless to see where I am going. I have no damn shoes on and only this t-shirt that clearly smells like this fucking asshole. And it is not like it is drizzling, the raindrops are beating hard against my skin, even with the cover from the trees on top, it is stilling down hard. And if the fact that I am getting soaked is not enough, I have my toes digging down in the mud. But let us not forget the damn mud that is stuck to my ass and my arms. This is absolutely perfect. How is Ethan going to find me now? I just have to push on through and see where Ie out. But just as I think that I am heading onto the right path, I get sadly mistaken¡­ ¡­Ethan POV¡­ We are but five minutes away from our location. Matthews has radioed in and we have established that they have not moved. Now we have decided that both groups would be making our way in from the back of the woods. Ray has promised that he won¡¯t just storm in there. I have asked Williams to be ready to tackle him to the ground if he does. As for Matthews, the man ising with. Hey, if I don¡¯t kill him then his boss definitely would. Though Matthews, I have known the man for long, I am not quite sure what his fate for betraying me is going to be. So, as we start leaving the city limits, we see the dense woodsing up on our left. Now, I personally do not know what to expect here, but Gibbs assures me that there is a number of rundown houses in this section close to the woods. I am not splitting up. We need the numbers so it is going to be a guessing game. All I hope is that there are not men manning the empty houses, for they will be letting the fucking jerk know of our presence. After what seems like five minutes too long debating this, we decide to head to head out. The weather has turned for the shit and our visibility has gone down to almost zero. But this is what Marines are trained for, even for all the goddamn mud. With the weather against us, we start treading through the woods trying for our feet not to give us away. With each step, you can hear as it squashes into the ground. As we find our way, well as I am guessing a quarter of the way inside, in the far-off distance I can see the glimmer of light. I immediately show for all to halt. From under the whisper, I draw them closer to me in a circle, ¡°Ray, no fucking running in there or I am shooting you myself.¡± Ya, that was bold and at least he is not shooting me now, but wait, he might just do itter. Then I slowly continue, ¡°They might not be in this house. The minute you spot someone, take them out. Do not fucking shoot anybody if you do not see him or Ana. If they aren¡¯t here then we need to continue as softly as possible. Do not fucking shoot.¡± Once again I look at Ray, ¡°Shoot and I fucking shoot you.¡± He only but nod his head, ya, I am dead after this. So as we crawl, not really in the mud, but with hunched back and guns firmly gripped and pointing ahead, we break the perimeter of the house. We split up into two groups, heading both left and right. Slowly against the side of the house, we pace ourselves up against the wall. There seem to be curtains in front of the windows, no way for us to see inside. Then, we turn the corner¡­ Chapter 198 A Perfect Mess As we turn the corner to the front of the house, it seems to appearpletely empty. My heart drops to my feet as I realize that we might have just decided toe to the wrong house. I so hoped that Ana would be here; it is fucking heartbreaking. Yet, I am not ready to give up. Now I have learned that do not always believe what you see; for all, I know that asshole is inside there with Ana. I firmly believe that there is still a possibility for Ana to be in there, so we make our way hunched to the front door. Now you will either be getting a bullet in your head or, very much disappointingly, nothing. I am leaning towards¡­the bullet in my head. It is with¡­one¡­two¡­three¡­clear that we burst our way through the creaking doorway. We do not wish toe announced. With a quick scan of the open area, it is safe to say that we shall not get a bullet in our head¡­yet. As we filter down into the hallway, we split into a group of two, each taking a room up on our side. The air in the house is somewhat nervous as we have no idea what to be expecting. The adrenaline is running high, and the boys are pumped on a win here. So as I reach the first room on the left, I immediately step inside and scan the room from left to right, not once keeping my gun down. With a sigh of relief, I turn to Gibbs and give him the all-clear, but yet with the relief, therees even more disappointment. But we have yet to search two more rooms. So as we head towards the main bedroom, hunched low to the floor, stepping as softly as we can on the floor as it is creaking. Wee to the bedroom door that is closed. I watch the eyes of Gibbs grow rather wide as he knows that one of us assholes is going to have to fling that thing open. Now, there is no time for drawing sticks. The man that feels that he is determined needs to do it now and do it damn fast¡­ And that is me¡­ I grip the doorknob firmly. It is very cold to the touch, which does give me the impression that someone has not been here. Yet, with one¡­two¡­ I do not even fucking three, for I swing that door wide open. I gasp, and I nearly fucking die. ¡­Ana POV¡­ I have no fucking idea how, but I havee full circle. In front of me is the very house that I have just escaped from. Now they clearly know that I am missing, for I can see him running around the ce like a goddamn idiot. But that is not what scares me the most. Lying at his feet is the very man that was supposed to keep an eye on me; it seems that he has gunned him down. Will I meet the same fate when he finally catches me? Well, I am not waiting around. So, this time I head off into another direction, sure to keep the moon at my back if that is even possible. I know, well, I believe that if I carry on walking straight this time that I shall reach some sort of a road or even another house. But I need to find this fast. I can no longer take the cold rain that is beating down on my soft, exposed skin. It feels as if someone is attacking my body. My body is weak, and the hunger from not having eaten is making me even weaker than I am. Where is Ethan? Why has he not looked for me yet?N?velDrama.Org owns this text. If he was looking for me, then I am sure this asshole will not still be standing there, or perhaps he is hiding in the shadows. Maybe I should go back and wait for Ethan to attack, but that shall be foolish, for I will be like a sitting duck waiting to be caught. This is a fucking nightmare. I will find Ethan. I know that he is out there looking for me. So, I set myself in a different direction, I will head of right, but then I hear a rustle of leaves behind me. ¡­Ethan POV¡­ This is bing a fucking heartbreaking mess. I need Ana, and I need her to know. What type of husband am I if I cannot find the woman that I am supposed to be protecting? Yet, even worse, I cannot find the woman that I love. I hope this asshole realizes that he is fucking dead. I will probably die, but I would die with the satisfaction of knowing that the damn asshole has gotten at least a slight taste of his own medicine. But he has got one hand over; it will take us at least another half an hour to get where we need to get going. Ya, I am fucking mad, and I am ready to explode. So with only a slight rise in the pitch of my voice, I burst out at Matthews, ¡°You fucking led us to the wrong ce.¡± He only but shakes his head, but I do not believe him, so I continue. ¡°You knew that they were not going to be there here, yet you have misled us.¡± He only but whimpers as I step but one step closer, ¡°Ethan, you know that I would not fuck with you. You chose the direction yourself.¡± Yes, the man does speak the truth, but I shall not admit my own defeat; instead, ¡°Ya, like you have not already betrayed me.¡± ¡°Ethan,¡± he tries to convince me, ¡°You know that I have only but helped you.¡± Now he has another thinging if he thinks that I believe a word that he has been saying. And as my anger grows but an ounce, I walk closer to where he has been standing. And with only one retraction of my arm, I smash my fist square into his jaw. His face snaps to the left with force, and I hear him whimper as the pain shoots through his body, ¡°You can be d that I do not kill you.¡± Though as he steps one step back, I advance only one step closer. I ball my hand and hit him with a fist of knuckles straight onto his nose. His face jerks back, and I can see the blood start to drip from his nose. He has betrayed me for thest time. He shall feel my wrath; without even hesitating, I take a firm grip of my gun and stick the barrel square into his face. With only but grinding my teeth, I raise my voice with a growl, ¡°Where the fuck is Ana.¡± I move the walkie-talkie a fraction closer to Matthews, ¡°Call him,¡± I see him hesitate for a moment. ¡°I will not repeat myself once again.¡± He looks at me as fear sets in his eyes. ¡°I said to fucking call him.¡± He reluctantly takes the walkie-talkie, and we all listen on as he confirms that all is okay. My blood is near damn boiling as I listen to him saying those words to the man that I hate with every bone in my body. Is my wife okay? They probably have her tied up to a goddamn chair. I do not even want to think what the asshole has done to her. So, after leaving the first house, Gibbs sets the coordinates for the other house that should being up on our left. The walk is just as endless as the first one. The damn wet leaves stick to your body like shit, and the mud only but sink you into aplete mess. I swear if we do not find Ana at any moment, I might just fucking die in these woods. Who the fuck wants to live out here in any case. It has been two hours since Ana has been gone, and we are not even closer to when we started. The boys are starting to look like they are losing hope and that we have been defeated. I, well, I am fucking blowing up in anger. I stop the group for only but one second, ¡°We need to get through this. Goddammit, we are Marines; we know how to do this. We do not give up. We do now show fear. We do not falter. We do not lose. Now get those fucking determination back in your feet, and let us go by what we do best now.¡± With a newfound determination, we find ourselves pushing forward to the next house that Gibbs believes, ording to what he has picked up from the signal of the walkie-talkie, that we are on the right path this time. Then the next thing, there is the very distinct sound of a gun being cocked from behind me. Chapter 199 The Danger We Know We have just left the house in search of the other one. The weather has not been ying in our favor, and it seems that it is only going to get worse. Time is definitely not on our side anymore, as I have no idea what this fucking asshole¡¯s intention is with Ana. My mind has raced to every possibility that I cane up with, and believe me, that the one is just as terrifying as the other. I am scaring myself shitless into oblivion with each ticking second. With each moment that passes, I feel that we are running out of time, but then I give myself thefort that it is me that he is after and that he shall not harm Ana. While these images are ying over in a loop in my head, the boys are regrouping themselves. With the calm of the moment, we let our guard down for a fraction of a minute too long. And this is one thing you do not fucking do as a Marine! We have moved about, I would say, not even half a mile into our direction, and there is the distinctive sound of a gun that begins cocked right behind me. The boys have all now gone nervous, and I am fucking shit scared to turn around and see whom I am faced with. But all I do is wait for the person to make himself known. Let us just hope he does not blow my head off before I can even say a word.C¨°ntens bel0ngs to N?(v)elDr/a/ma.Org To say that the hunt for Ana has not be aplete circus, well, that would be a lie. Now I am d the girl is not here to listen to me saying it. But. Fuck. I wish the woman were here now. Though we need to focus on whom, well, I am hoping is only one person that has his gun firmly pointed at our backs. We checked this goddamn house from back to front, and there was not a single soul. Do you want to tell me that someone was lurking in the shadows all the time? Ya, Ethan, how can you be so fucking careless. And next is what we expected, ¡°Drop your weapons and move. If you breathe as much as one too many breaths, I will fucking kill you.¡± Now there is the incredible urge to turn around and see who this brave soul is and if he is alone as well, but I value this face and all those body parts that are going to give my wife pleasure the moment I goddamn find her. Ya, I am thinking of sex while I am being taken captive. My heart is beating and pumping the adrenaline at a steady pace. A steady pace a fraction too fast. But it is that faction that has me on the edge of my toes. And that is where I should be. Alert and pumped up. This is what Marine training leads us up to I have never anticipated for this to go so wrong. I should not stand and worry over failure, for failure is only but a distraction. A distraction that will get you killed today. How the fuck could I have been so reckless. Ethan Hunter might get caught with his pants down, but I do not get caught in this way. I am leaning towards Matthews; he is the only one that would have given up our location. But why is he then being forced to our future fate? Perhaps their own distraction. Well, I hope that this is going to take us to Ana. At this stage, there is a slight mood of terror that is creeping upon us, for I had a quick nce at the men that are holding us at gunpoint, and ya, they are wearing masks and somerge intimidating pump action guns. The weather has not yed much as a friend to us, so we find a great deal of mud. Mud is not what you want. Not what you want when you run. You cannot slip; that one second too long that you stand on the floor might be that one second that you do not have. It will be that one minute that you will have a gun pointed at your temple. Now, if you are lucky, they will let you get up, but my guess is that they will rather trample you into the ground. So in to say¡­we are fucked. We have been trained for any situation, but this one, well, this has gone up to apletely new terrifying level. So being foolish and rather daring, let us call that the stupid man that I am; I am looking at Gibbs and Williams that are standing on my left. With eyes that say it all, I give them the instruction that if the opportunity presents itself, that they each need to take out one behind them. So I can safely say that we are being taken deeper into the woods, which, as per Matthews¡¯s coordinates, would have brought us to the other house. For a brief moment, I see the light between all this fucked up mess. There is no word been said since we have been captured, so there is no way in saying who it truly is behind us. I have a fairly good idea of whom all the men are that is involved in this asshole¡¯s fucking scheme, and that first voice was definitely not one of them. Then after a long walk dragging our feet through the mud, we are finally told toe to a stop where we are being blindfolded. As we start to make our approach again, from what I can hear, it is only, but chaos as the voices speak over each other. At this stage, it is all just a big mumble at a pitch too high to understand. But what soon bes apparent is that we have, in fact, gotten to somewhere, whether it is the house, that I do not know. We are standing in the middle of the woods, this I still know for the mud and shit is everywhere. We are still very much blindfolded and have now I idea who has taken us by force. But as we approach the group of men closer and closer, the voices seem to fade on down. Well, I can say at this very moment, our capturers do not wish for us to know who they are. Next, I can hear what sounds like steel chairs being stacked together; we are about to be tied up, if we shall be tortured, that I do not have any answer as well. With that, they lead us each to a chair and tie us to it very firmly, perhaps once inch too firm for your hand to movefortably around. Yet, lesson one of being captured¡­ Shut your fucking mouth. And that is what we do as our capturers are yet to make themselves known. They have taken their conversation far off in the distance from where their words sound only but a mumble. As I sit tied up at this godforsaken chair, the only thing that is running through my mind is that I hope that Ana is okay. We have lost precious time, though I am not sure if this is where she is also supposed to be. We yed it by the book. No falter. No, fail. How could we have gotten ourselves caught? Did we let our guard down and ease our body and mind? Did we be sloppy and open to danger? Was my obsession to find my wife a distraction and cost us that weak link? We made three mistakes here today¡­one, we became at ease¡­two, we turned lowered out weapons the moment we saw the house as empty, and three, we turned our back on the enemy. Ya, today, we pay the price of losing control of the situation. But then, in one¡­two¡­three, I hear the man approach us. Why do I say a man? His footsteps are heavy in the mud, and they are more like strides instead of the small scuffles of a woman. I can hear how the rain is beating down on a raincoat. However, one thing I do sense is that this man does not hold confidence. By the way, he is breathing; one can safely say that he is just as terrified as the rest of these men sitting next to me. Well, for me, terror has left my body. All that consumes my being is finding Ana. So, while guns are being pointed against the back of our heads, our blindfolds are being loosened. In front of me is the view of a man that I have grown to hate a long time ago. Not even giving a fuck what the consequences shall be, I speak out of my turn. ¡°Ah, MacKey, now tell me to what do I owe this fucking pleasure? Chapter 200 Tied Down What defines fear? The feeling that grips your stomach, suffocates your lungs, and tears your heart will slow agony from your chest. But what is fear when you see it on the faces of the men that you vow to protect? It is a pain that rips your flesh from your body to an agonizingly slow pace. This is something that you do not foresee. You are trained to always be on alert. We have been forced to sit down on these cold steel chairs in front of what seems to be some of the most intimidating men that most of us have seen. What do I see them as? They are fools; they have no idea the error they have just brought onto themselves. But the question now remains what do they intend to do? It shall be their downfall even further than what it has be. And I think that I have yet asked too soon. Now, you are taught that you also do not say a single word when you find yourself captive. But, god, I am even afraid to say that there is a bit of crazy in all these boys. Gibbs that has been through this before, knows that only one thing is going to happen. He was the very man that had to bear witness to this thest fateful time that this had happened to him and me. They have not yet made their move that we are anticipating. From what I can hear from their whispers, they have no idea what to do with us either. Well, they are as dumb as youe. But I have spoken yet too soon. For next I have MacKey in front of me again, and the man seem to have aplete new determination Ya, fuck¡­we are in for a treat. This man enjoys ying with his prey and god, let me tell you does he y with it. Leave yourself in a room with this man for but a few minutes and you shall crawl your way out by your nails. Ray, who has not said a single word either, holds nothing to this man. ¡°Where is Ana?¡± Well, you got to fucking p me for I don¡¯t think I heard this one quite correctly. So with one very confused look and a very quick observation to the other end, I return the very same to him, ¡°Why don¡¯t you ask that fuck over on the left where she is.¡± My heart drops in my shoes and terror creep to an agonizingly slow pace up my spine, turning my entire body into ice. Where the fuck is my wife? If MacKey does not have Ana and I do not have Ana¡­where the fuck is Ana? So not even worrying if MacKey is going to pop my head, I begin to speak, and rather surprisingly he lets me carry on, ¡°What have you done with Ana you goddamn idiot?¡± I only watch as he but shrugs his shoulders. He can thank his ass that I am tied to this chair. So I repeat myself once again. ¡°What have you done to Ana, MacKey?¡± Well, with what he says next, I do not know if I should be frightened or should I be impressed, ¡°She escaped.¡± Next to me a very amused Ray burst outughing and I almost witness as MacKey knocks him out with the grip of his Rugger. ¡°How did a woman escape your capture?¡± Ray raises his voice but a pitch higher, the anger on his face is growing at the knowledge that Ana is stuck out there somewhere. So there is this big question¡­ Are we going to go look for her? Has this now be an effort where all of whom desperately want Ana, are all going toe together as one and find the woman that I love? Then after that, we shall carry on hating each other all over again? This is fast going to get out of control and be reckless, or should I rather say ruthless for MacKey is showing no sign of wanting to help as one to look for Ana. He has, in fact, gathered a group of his men that will be heading out to roam the woods in the effort to find the golden prize. It is now half an hour since we have been tied to these godforsaken chairs. MacKey has had a few calls in from his men, and it still seems that they areing up empty-handed. Now, just as I think that things cannot get any worse than we are already finding it. I watch in horror as MacKey grabs Gibbs up by the shoulders just as his monkey unties Gibbs¡¯s hands.All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. I watch as he forces him to get down on his knees, and with a brief nce at me he demands from Gibbs, ¡°Where is Ana?¡± MacKey waits for but five seconds and smashes the grip of his gun into Gibbs¡¯s forehead. You find the incredible urge to cover your ears and close your eyes as you know that he is about to get tortured. But we cannot show weakness. No matter what move you make, weakness cannot be one of them. So as expect. MacKey raises his voice a pitch too high. Clear words are spoken. ¡°You are going to tell me where she is.¡± There is absolute silence. Yet more words are spoken. ¡°Do you want to die today? Tell me where she is.¡± MacKey has two changes of making Gibbs speak, shit to nothing. But does he care? No. Gibbs shall pay for his silence. He shall not take me as he wants me to see Gibbs suffer. Then. BANG. There is an echo of a gunshot that echoes through the woods. Terror sets in. Williams looks at me. I only but close my eyes for one brief second. This is not happening. But as I open my eyes I see Gibbs rise from the ground. As I y the echo of the gunshot through my head, I know that there is nothing that I can do to save Gibbs from this torture. But then MacKey speaks again. ¡°Next time I shoot, it is for real. Tell me where she is.¡± The repetition of his words is now starting to annoy me. Yet he is not done. I watch as he slips a hunting knife from the back of his pants and starts swaying it in front of Gibbs¡¯s face. ¡°You will speak today.¡± The fuck has now cut Gibbs. I can hear a slight hitch in Gibbs¡¯s voice and yet MacKey pushes forward, with one loud thud, more like a snap, he once again fires, this time though he does shot Gibbs. Gibbs whimpers in agony, and that is it for me. This fuck is going to pay. But first, my words are clear to him. ¡°Leave Gibbs and fucking beat on someone your own size.¡± There is a godawful smile that appears on MacKey¡¯s face as he shows for his monkey to tie Gibbs back to his chair. He slides his way through the mud andes to still in front of me. While he shows for them to untie me, there is one huge smile that grows on the asshole¡¯s face, ¡°Well, look what we have here.¡± And ya, I fucking die right there even before MacKey gets his turn. I think I am by now goddamn terrified in counting, but we have wasted yet another hour that we could have been out there looking for Ana. And then it begins once again¡­the goddam man is stuck on a record yer. ¡°Where is Ana?¡± Well, I am not Gibbs, ¡°If I knew, do you think I would be sitting here?¡± He takes the grip of his Ruger and smashes it firmly against my forehead. I can feel as the skin split open and the blood start pouring down my face. I only but grind my teeth at him, ¡°Well I guess that we are going to sit here the whole day then because I do not know where Ana is and if I did, well do you really think that I would tell you?¡± In less than what is an inch of a second, I underestimate the determination of this ruthless monster. There is one loud bang. There is a snap as the bullet pierces my skin. I crash to the floor, yet I do not say a word. And this only fuels for what he has nned for me, ¡°This is thest time that I am asking Hunter.¡± With mock in my eyes, I onlyugh at him, ¡°Then you can¡¯t count.¡± Ya, I should really know when to shut the fuck up. Without even showing hesitation, not an inch of a reaction on his face, a bullet erupts from the Ruger¡¯s chamber and ms into my thigh with perfect precision. That. Fucking. Hurt. Then just as he wants to start his rant again, I see someone stepping behind him from the woods. ¡°Leave him alone.¡± Chapter 201 The Stand Off In a way, my world has juste to light and yet it has also ended. From behind this crazy maniac called MacKey, there is someone that is stepping from outside the woods. Now,you do not even have to light it up for me, that elegant body this is moving like a tiger through the brush, that is my wife. I cannot even begin to describe how relieved I am to see her. What else I am seeing is that she has a very rather intimidating gun in her hand, and rather surprising from behind heres Lewis and Lopez and some other of the Marines in my old squad. But how¡­? I don¡¯t care how¡­all I care is that she is okay. And as I rise to my feet with the incredible pain that is shooting to the edges of the bullet, making it feel even deeper, I drop to the floor again. I see as she wants to rush to my side to help me. But, I am not yet done¡­ So as Lopez moves in on MacKey, I cannot help but smile, ¡°And what do you have to say for yourself now?¡± He only but grunts at me as he wants to steps forward but is pulled back by a rather mean looking Lewis, well he has never liked the asshole himself, yet, ¡°Why MacKey?¡± There is a hideousughter thates from a mouth that truly deserved to be fucking punched, and that is the very thing that Lopez does, though he too turns to MacKey, ¡°Why? Did your ass not have anything better to do?¡± ¡°I have grown rather annoyed with this¡­¡± Even before he can say the words, I have my hand in his face as it crashes to his into the bridge of his nose. There is a slight crack, and the bloodes streaming down in only but seconds. But the minute I step back, I nce over to my side, there is one of MacKay¡¯s clowns that has now risen his gun. The mere fact that they had the nerve to raise their guns at me would be the very first mistake that they have made today. This leads me to advise them of only but two things, ¡°If I was you, and god, I am d I am not, for if you do not drop your fucking hands, you all will be finding yourselves down where the rays of the sun doesn¡¯t reach.¡± For but a few seconds, I watch as they hesitate between whose side they need to take. With that, I see about a majority of the hands drop, and they back off. Yet there are the few of them that choose to remain by MacKey, well, I have no fucking idea who they are, but one thing for sure is that they all are going down. So with only but a smirk on my face and looking at Gibbs, ¡°What do you say?¡± He only but nods his head as he grabs hold of his gun that was lying on the pile on the floor. I take my stance and step but two steps back. But as I make that single step, I see the fear creep into seven men that still have their barrels firmly pointed at me.All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. Now, the question here begs, how do I take out seven men and still prevent from being shot myself? Well, I have the first problem covered as I, much to everyone¡¯s shock, I slip another Ruger in my hand that Gibbs hands over as hees to take a stand next to me. Now, if I want to be even dirtier, I can, but wait for it¡­ ¡°Ana, please go stand by Ray; I have this.¡± She only but shakes her head at me. So in less than five seconds, she points a barrel towards those very seven men that now have the fear of seven horrors in their eyes. But from next to me, I hear the voice of MacKey, ¡°If this were not such a fuck up, I would have said that is goddamn hot.¡± I re at him with a newfound fury that builds in my eyes, ¡°And if I were you, I would rather shut my fucking mouth.¡± Just then, Ana move but inches forward to the seven men that are watching her as they are trembling, ¡°Now, I suggest that we all drop our guns.¡± Then there is a clever ass mouth that feels the need to say something, ¡°You are just a girl with a gun in her hand. Do you even know how to use that thing?¡± I watch as my Ana onlyughs and gives me a slight wink, then she turns back to him, ¡°This girl is Ana Hunter, and I know exactly how to use this thing.¡± But if I think that would make the fool back down, he only but raises his gun higher and start to break out in a fit of uncontrobleughter, then he makes the mistake to speak, ¡°Oh yes, you are Jenkins family whore.¡± Well, my restraint snaps. With absolute determination to show him his foolish ways, I step closer to him, ¡°My wife is not a whore.¡± I pause for a moment as I position my finger softly against my trigger, then I continue to speak, ¡°You have made two fatal mistakes tonight.¡± He only but smirk at me as he tries to keep his hand steady, ¡°Please do tell me what it is, Hunter?¡± ¡°For one, my dear friend, you are pointing a gun at the wrong fucking person,¡± I slide the tip of my finger over the trigger, then I continue, ¡°Your second was insulting my wife.¡± And with that, I gently snap my finger until it makes direct contact with the trigger that sets the motion for the bullet to leave the clip; there is a slight click as it slides into the chamber. The heat travels through my hand as the adrenaline rushes through my body. In only one BANG, he topples in a heap of mess to the floor. But wait¡­next to him, I hear the distinct sound of a very gun being loaded, as a fool spins his revolver to check if he is fully loaded before he can even snap that thing closed, there is another jerk of my hand, as yet another bullet leaves my Ruger at inches of inches in great speed. It pierces the soft skin between his brows before he, too, finds his fate on the floor. I stop, yet still firmly point, and speak to the five men that are left standing, ¡°Do any of you wish to join the party on the floor?¡± I only but look at them as they stand firm and shake my head in amusement, ¡°You know I will blow your fucking brains out; why are you even bothering to tempt me?¡± Then from behind me, I hear MacKey speak, ¡°I did not know you were going to provide the entertainment, Hunter?¡± I only butugh at him, ¡°Perhaps I am a little sore that you did not invite me, but I am making for one hell of an evening. Now tell youpdogs to back off, or otherwise.¡± But death is thy ears¡­well perhaps not mine. Next, I hear Ana calling for me, ¡°Ethan, watch out.¡± Well, it seems that two of these brave souls think that it is rather a great idea to charge at me. So as theye towards me at great speed, I aim both arms straight forward, and in one¡­two¡­three¡­they both drop together like the fucking idiots they are. ¡°So, it only leaves you three, for I will not be blowing MacKay¡¯s brains out tonight. Now tell me, do you really want to test my patience tonight?¡± They remain firm; they do not make a single move. From behind me, I hear as Ray clears his throat rather deeply, yet I ignore the man. This leaves me with only one option¡­ ¡°Gibbs.¡± ¡°Yes, Ethan?¡± ¡°Right or left?¡± ¡°Mmm¡­tough one. I think I will go for the middle.¡± I only but nod my head at her, then I softly whisper in his direction, ¡°Now.¡± And in absolute perfect precision, as aplete one, he drops the fool that was standing in the middle, and not even an inch of a secondter, the two on his sides tumble forward, their knees give in as thest ounce of breath leave their bodies. Completely satisfied that not a single soul is going toe after me, I turn to Ana and take her to the side. With a waterfall that is bursting its banks and erupting down my cheeks, I pull her closer to the warmth of my body. I hear her softly whisper my name, ¡°Ethan.¡± I close the gap even more than before. What begins as a small peck bes more passionate. The rest of the world spins so fast it bes non-existent. I lean even further into her and my body melts into hers. It is as if I can feel a fire zing within me, out of control. We arepletely and utterly in sync at this very moment. She presses her lips against mine even harder. Lightning passes through me. I feel lost in a different universe and she is slowly taking me away. Her cold hand creeps from my neck down my spine and pulls me closer. Her touch makes my body shiver. Her delicate, innocent kiss makes my heart flutter. Then it races. My body surrenders. As we pull away from each other, I look deep into those big brown eyes. ¡°Let¡¯s go home boo.¡± She looks at me with her head slight cocked, ¡°But what about MacKey?¡± ¡°Oh, we are not done with him yet.¡± Chapter 202 Time To Breathe ¡­Ana POV¡­ Ethan has not once let go of my hand as we make the drive back home. I can see the clear relief on his face as he stares deep into my eyes, yet he has not said a word since we got in the car. He must still be in shock, or he is just too scared to speak, for he knows that he will burst out in tears, and that is one thing he will not do in front of Ray. Gibbs and Williams have taken MacKay up to the barracks; as for Lopez and Lewis, well, they are the poor suckers that are left to get rid of the rest of the members of MacKay¡¯s gang. At least they were not a bunch of Marines; I can only imagine what Ethan would have felt if he had to shoot one of his own. But it still does not make things any better that MacKay had me kidnapped for reasons that he never did tell me, though the sole purpose of taking MacKay to the barracks is, well, like Ray said, ¡°We are only going to motivate him to speak, and after then we will hand him over.¡± Well, I think they are being polite; they will beat the shit out of the man until hees clean. I am almost sure the minute we get home that Ethan will start to get restless to go over to the barracks as well.N?velDrama.Org owns this text. So as we are finally pulling up into our driveway at home, I only but give Ray a big hug, ¡°Thank you for saving us both.¡± ¡°Hey,¡± he softly whispers in my ear, ¡°Thank you for saving our ass the way you did.¡± I only but burst out inughter as I hook my arm into Ethan¡¯s, and we make our way inside. Then the silence is finally broken as Ethan leads me to the room and sits down next to me on the bed, ¡°I thought I was going to lose you.¡± ¡°Well, I am here.¡± ¡°Boo, it is just¡­¡± ¡°Ssshhh, soldier.¡± Pulling him into a hug, tears start flowing down both of our pained faces. His hug is not gentle this time; a gentle hug still gives me space to breathe; this hug is strong, this hug is stronger than anything I¡¯ve ever known; it tells me everything that I am to him, body, mind, and soul. I love both of his hugs; the one is like a duvet that folds around my body, the other a shield that holds and protects me. So after what seems to be a while, I pull away and softly whisper to him, ¡°I love you.¡± ¡°I love you more, boo.¡± Taking Ethan¡¯s hand, I slide it up my thigh, slipping his fingers under the seams of my shirt, ¡°Please take this awful thing off; it is not mine.¡± He scrunches up the shirt and shoves it over my head. When he catches a glimpse of my naked breasts, a groan escapes his lips. Then, all at once, there is nothing else in my universe but Ethan kissing, touching, biting, and exploring every inch of my body with his mouth, his tongue, and his hands. For the first time in a while, I forget everything else. The bliss sends an earthquake through my loins, causing my body to tremble. Without further tormenting me, heys my body down between the soft silky sheets. They envelop my body and cool the burning ache that I feel down to the core. I watch in awe as this godlike man slips his pants down that firm, sculpted body and lifts every inch of cloth from his chest to disy perfectly rippled abs. He lowers his hot skin down onto mine. As he pulls my pants slowly over my thighs, he wastes no time and pulls my panties along. As elegant as a tiger, he crawls his way up my body; the moment his soft naked skin pressed against mine, I unravel entirely; my body is his to do as he pleases. And he does, as his lips devour mine; his tongue explored my mouth, my neck, and my ears. His tongue tortures me until I moan. With a movement that startles me, he forces my legs open with strong arms, cups my ass in his hands, and lifts my hips to meet his mouth. With gentle, delicate flicks of his tongue, he brings me close to the edge of delirium. Afraid of toppling over too soon, I squeeze the nkets. His hands finally open my soft folds, slowly, gradually, insistently. With his thumbs, he spread the softness, the moistness. He dives deep, his tongue running from my clit down between my folds. He rubs the t of his tongue over my clit, letting one finger, then two fingers invade me, making me moan. His fingers begin to move, pumping and twisting deep inside me. He starts increasing the intensity and the pressure. Licking, sucking, and biting, as if he is eating me alive. He slips his fingers out and moves back up through my lips, taking them, rubbing them tight together, causing my legs to tremble. His thumb moves to my clit, finding my sensitive center again; he presses deep and starts rubbing hard. I feel the warmth start growing in my body. He continues rubbing over and over again, building and moving me ever so close to my climax. He is going faster and harder and deeper; I can feel myself go harder with every stroke. Then he slips another finger inside; then, he starts pumping in and out. He is twisting his fingers, increasing the intensity and the pressure every time he thrusts in and out. He curls his fingers, my back arches, and my eyes roll back into my head. I can barely control my body anymore. The edge seems on the horizon; every cell inside me is contracting. My legs are starting to shake; the warmth between my thighs is ready to explode. I am aching; I am quivering, pushed to the edge, my body shatters, and my cum flow over his fingers. Grabbing my wrist, Ethan moves my fingers to the soft head of his erection, where I let them linger and explore, running the tiny, delicate pads over the heavily veined skin. I can feel myself be more aroused as prickles of pleasure move through my arms as he grows harder in my hand. I squeeze instinctively, feeling the muscle throb and flex, forcing me to tighten my grip. Iy his body next to mine. I wrap my hot hand around his erection, making it pulse. He pulls a gasping moan into his lungs. He can only watch as I slide down to put my mouth above his agonized erection. I brush my tongue several times across the tip then pulled it hard into her mouth. Barbs of lightning convulse through his body, intensifying his senses. The sucking sound of my mouth against his flesh, the sweet smell of my juices mixing with his own musky scent, the feel of my hot soft lips caressing the sensitive flesh as they slid over the head of his erection, and the firm grip of my warm hand, all seems too hard for him to hold back anymore. He gently pushes me back down onto the mattress. He ces his pulsating erection between my legs; I slowly part my folds, so his strong, hard manhood slide effortlessly into me. I scream with pleasure. His hips drive hard, his hard length furiously thrusting into me, over and over again. His unique scent overwhelms my senses. He ms into me, struggling for breath, desperately trying to hold on to his crumbling restraint. ¡°Oh god, Ethan,¡± I gyrate in slow insistent circles; he rocks with every thrust. Our bodies are bucking and arching and colliding in almost perfect rhythm. He keeps up the rhythm relentlessly. With each stroke, he slides his hot throbbing fleshpletely into me. He drives in deeper, with each thrust increasing pace. He impales me with his hot bulging shaft deep into my depths. I clench and shudder and raise my hips slightly to further drive his swollen erection into me. I heave in passion, my resisting flesh split, and he slides into me slowly and gently until he ispletely inside me. I could feel his hard length pulsating, contracting, and releasing his erection as he eases himself back for fear that he would explode. ¡°Ethan, I¡­I¡­fuck.¡± My first orgasmes within seconds, the second minutester. He picks up speed, mming home even faster. I am delirious with pleasure. One¡­Two¡­Three more thrusts and I am there. He plunges deep inside me; I feel the full thrust of his hard length inside me. Tension built, deep at my core and coil up, arousal mounting inside until finally, without warning, my climax charge up, and I lose all control. ¡°Oh fuck,¡± he groans. The hot waves of pleasure started to build up deep within his core and shoot out in every direction, turning his limbs to jelly and his mind to mush. He shudders and convulses in a chain of explosions. His release fills me, dripping down his still-hard length. He falls down next to me on the bed with a very satisfied look on his face, a typical Ethan grin on his face. We bothy in silence for a few minutes, waiting for the world to stop spinning and our breaths to slow to our normal heartbeat. Then ites, ¡°Boo, I want to go to the barracks.¡± Chapter 203 It Is Not Over Now I have been fair and let MacKay¡¯sments here and there slip. But as for taking my wife and shooting Gibbs, well, for that, I will not just keep my mouth shut. I want to know what is behind this man¡¯s reasoning for taking such a bold move. So, I am safe to say that he will not leave here intact today. In a few moments, Gibbs will bring him through to the barracks where Ray and I are waiting for him. Williams has asked some of the rookies to put their music but a pitch louder, purely if I need to convince him of his mistake. It is only five minutester that Gibbs steps through the door with MacKay in tow. ¡°Sit,¡± I politely ask them to take a seat opposite me where I am sitting on the edge of one of the beds. Then I continue, ¡°So, you know how this goes, you either tell me what the fucking purpose of your stunt was, or I will start taking body parts.¡± He only but burst out in a damn fit of uncontrobleughter, ¡°Yes, like that is going to happen.¡± So I rise from the bed and make my way around to the side where he is so casually sitting, finding himself rather amusing. Well, we are about to see how I feel about that. ¡°Gibbs,¡± I nod at him. ¡°I think that it is time that we tie up some loose ends.¡± With that, Gibbs grabs this fool¡¯s hands and, in one swift movement, he ties him to the chair. I watch as the horror creeps in his face as he finds himself unable to move but an inch. Now I am not up for begging. He is either telling me and dies, or he just dies. Well, I am not really going to kill the man, but still¡­ ¡°Okay,¡± I stand in front of him with my hand firmly on the grip of my Ruger. ¡°So what was the purpose of taking my wife and sending your goons after me in my own house?¡± He stutters uncontrobly as he can barely speak. Well, I don¡¯t give a shit. The man will talk today. ¡°I don¡¯t think I heard you there,¡± I ask him as I y with the clip of my gun. Much to his horror, I continue to count the bullets. ¡°Oh, there seems to be one missing. Gibbs, who did I shootst?¡± Gibbs only chuckles, and I continue to point the barrel to the man¡¯s head, ¡°So, what is your answer going to be?¡± ¡°You can fucking shoot me all you want; I am not saying a damn thing.¡± With that, I start to press the barrel against the soft skin of his forehead, and once again, ¡°I would strongly advise you to reconsider that.¡± ¡°I am not telling you.¡± Ya, this one is a goddamn smart ass. Well, sorry, he obviously thinks that I am fucking stupid; best I prove to him otherwise. ¡°Gibbs, pliers.¡± I watch as the man squirms in his chair and tries to pull his hands loose. Yes, it is those very hands that are going to wish that he just did not take me for a fuck.All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. So as Gibbs hands me the pliers, I walk closer to the man, ¡°Now, do you want to y this game, or are you going to give me a proper answer?¡± ¡°You can go fuck yourself.¡± ¡°Mmm¡­let me think. I have Ana for that, so I guess you are the one that will be fucking himself.¡± Now, let us do it perfectly, wait, I think I have changed my mind, ¡°Gibbs, the knife.¡± Gibbs passes me a very questionable but shit-sharp knife. As I step even closer, the man starts to whimper as he thinks he is about to die. So, Gibbs steps closer, and I show for him to hold the man¡¯s hand into ce. ¡°Now, if you move, then I cut your fucking hand off. So keep still.¡± Next, with what seems like going absolutely slowly backward, I rest the de on the knife on his pinky, just below his knuckle. Then once again. ¡°Are you going to answer me now?¡± He only squirms as he shakes his head, ¡°No.¡± ¡°Well, I warned you.¡± With that, I slice the knife down into his finger, blood squirts, and I watch as the knife pierces into his skin. But as I am about to start applying pressure¡­ Then from behind me, I hear a voice, ¡°Ethan, what the fuck are you doing?¡± I do believe that I should have locked that door. But yes, that is Ana walking in on me. Now do imagine my predicament. I have a man tied to a chair who has just about to lose his finger. Now that is not the problem; I have fucking blood on my shoes. So as I spin around, hoping that she will not notice the blood, I slip the bloody knife into the back of my pants, yes, second big mistake. But my biggest concern is how she is going to take this. ¡°Boo, what are you doing done here?¡± I ask withplete horror on my face. ¡°I was worried, so I thought I woulde to see what you were doing, but yes,¡± she seems rather amused. ¡°I guess I have learned the new purpose of the barracks.¡± I only but smile at her shyly and bite into my bottom lip. She burst out in hystericalughter and wraps her arms around my waist; then, I feel her pull the knife out that I have tucked in the back of my pants. ¡°You know that you have just ruined a perfectly good pair of pants.¡± She pauses for a brief moment, then she continues again, ¡°Now get this over with.¡± ¡°Boo, but you can¡¯t¡­¡± ¡°I can, and I am going to stand here and scare the shit out of this guy until he talks.¡± ¡°Boo, are you okay?¡± ¡°Yes. Now, why has he done it?¡± She steps a few steps closer to this man waving the knife in front of his face. Now, if I thought that he was scared of me, he is absolutely terrified of her. I only but have an inner chuckle at her. This girl is starting to impress me. But ya, she practically has that knife under his nose, ¡°Now, I am not scared to cut more than your pinkie off. Why are you after Ethan?¡± The guy continues to shake his head; he does not seem like he is going to budge. Now I have a choice here, I either take him out, or we send him off so that the authorities can deal with him, with at least another finger less. So I turn to Gibbs, that is very much wide-eyed, as he is staring at Ana swinging that knife in front of the man¡¯s face. ¡°Boo, you are going to make him piss his pants.¡± ¡°Soldier, he can be d he can still do it.¡± ¡°God, if this were not so messed up, I would have said that is so hot. But I need to talk to Gibbs; you think you can leave us alone?¡± Well, I know I am wasting my time in asking, for I know that she is going to ignore me in any case, so as she just shakes her head, I know that I have my answer. ¡°Gibbs, I am tired of this fuck¡¯s face now.¡± Then there is a loud roaring from MacKay as he begs me, ¡°Please, Hunter, please, I beg you. I will tell you anything.¡± ¡°A few moments ago, you thought it was good to y a game with me. Well, I am done. I have somewhere else to be, and you are keeping me up. ¡± ¡°Please, Hunter.¡± ¡°Fuck your please, MacKey. I asked you a question, and you fucked with me.¡± I turn to Gibbs and only nod my head; with that, I take the goddamn knife from Ana and lead her out the room. But just as I am about to leave, I have MacKay calling back for me, ¡°It is not me; someone asked me to do it.¡± Well, that gets my attention, so I spin around and walk back over to MacKay again, ¡°What are you talking about, and I am warning you, if you are fucking with me, then I am really shooting you today.¡± I see him hesitate for but a few moments, and when he finally speaks underneath a stuttering breath, ¡°It was¡­¡± He pauses for a brief moment. ¡°It was¡­¡± Then from behind me, I hear Ana scream, and just as I am about to turn around, I hear a voice¡­ ¡°It was me.¡± And as I spin on my heels again, I am shocked to my core. Ya¡­ I am not hearing things. But perhaps I am not truly that shocked as I believe. I was wondering when this face will make an appearance again. Chapter 204 Not Who You Expected The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. But when the skeletons of the past make a reappearance, you cannot help but feel that fear that drives you under. Yes, we can never go back and change the past, but the past is still close to us. The things we have tried to forget and put behind us will alwayse back to stir again. Did I foresee this? Not even in my darkest dreams that haunt me at night have I even managed to imagine this one evering to the surface again. Have I left such a path in my wake that it will constantlye back and take me by surprise when I least expect it? I believe that I have lived my life by the good deeds that I have done; howe does the ones that you get wrong to be the ones that will define what happens to you next in your life? I have honestly thought that some demons would have been put to rest, but I need to remind myself that my life is full of unpredictability, and nothing will beplete if I do not have some new challenge to face every day. Which then brings us here. I find myself staring at a ghost, yet that is what it seems to be. So as I close my eyes and squeeze them real tight, slowly I flutter them open again¡­ ¡°Emma?¡± She smiles at me and cocks her head, ¡°Hello, Lieutenant.¡± With that, Gibbs steps in front of me, shielding me from a woman that I thought would be dead. Though my question is, ¡°How?¡± She only but smirks at me, ¡°Oh, my dear Ethan, I am a woman of many talents.¡± From underneath Ana¡¯s breath, there is anger that only starts growing, ¡°Who the fuck are you?¡± ¡°The woman that kept your husband¡¯s bed warm while you were whoring yourself around.¡± And yes, that Emma should not have said, for next, Anaunches her fist at Emma¡¯s face, snapping her head to the left. Ana then retracts and prepares to smash Emma¡¯s face again, but I call for her, ¡°Boo, please stop!¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know what the fuck is going on here, and I actually don¡¯t think I want to know,¡± Ana growls as she looks between Emma and me. Only but shaking my head at Emma, that seems to be getting a world of satisfaction, ¡°Why are you here, Emma. You know I can have you arrested?¡± She looks at me in disbelief as if I have just asked her something rather stupid, ¡°This is my home, here with you. Why should I not be here?¡± ¡°Are you fucking insane?¡± ¡°I heard that you are deploying again, and I could not let you slip out of my hands again.¡± And next, much to Ana¡¯s frustration, ¡°I can¡¯t let you go; I love you.¡± Well, that does not go well with Ana that only but steps closer to Emma again, ¡°You will stay the fuck away from my husband. Do you understand me?¡± Emma steps even one more step closer to Ana, ¡°You will not tell me what to do. Ethan loves me just as much as I do him, he might not feel it now, but in time he wille to know that.¡± ¡°Emma,¡± Ana¡¯s voice growls with an utmost warning, ¡°I promise you, if you step one foot closer to my husband, then I will fucking kill you. Now, do you understand me?¡± ¡°Oh, Ana,¡± Emma mocks at Ana with a smirk stered over a face that has recently gone under the knife, ¡°Your husband does not have a choice in this. He is leaving with me here today.¡±All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. With that, in the blink of the eye, Emma presents a Glock firmly pointed in my direction. From behind me, I hear as Gibbs and Ray arm themselves, leaving me standing terrified that Emma will point that gun at Ana. God, I cannot take another bad thing to happen in our lives again. But the sad reality that I need to remind myself of is that this is a problem that I have created for myself, and it hase back to haunt me. Karma is a bitch, and I have just been bitten. ¡°Emma,¡± I raise my voice a pitch as I start to warn her, ¡°Emma, drop that gun; you are ying at a dangerous game now. You know you will be taken out.¡± She only but bursts out in a godawful chuckle, ¡°I have been here for weeks; none of you fools have even noticed me.¡± Then from next to her, I hear Ana, ¡°Well, with that nose job, I would not have recognized you either.¡± Then much to my terrifying horror, Emma swings the gun and points it in Ana¡¯s direction. ¡°Emma, drop the fucking gun,¡± my voice echoes over the ones of Gibbs and Ray. In an instant, my worldes crashing in as I watch the lives of my wife and child stand in the face of danger. Then with a grip on my heart and suffocating lungs, I try to step closer to Emma as I continue, ¡°Drop the fucking gun.¡± But Emma is not budging for a moment; my please fall upon death ears that seem to be very determined. I cannot help but fear that she will pull that trigger without any doubt. So as I creep closer with each scuffle, ¡°I said drop that fucking gun!¡± From behind me, I watch as Gibbs and Ray join me next to my side. Only briefly looking in Ray¡¯s direction, he hands me my very own weapon. Checking the clip and the safety, I am confidently armed¡­ Question is¡­ Will I drop a woman? Well, she is threatening my family, and by any fucking oath I have sworn, that is more important. So with nothing other than a trembling rumble thates from a dry throat, I shuffle another foot forward and lift my arm pointed in front of me, with only, ¡°Drop the fucking gun, Emma. I will shoot you.¡± She only but continues to intimidate Ana as she tackles, ¡°You would never shoot a woman.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be so sure of yourself,¡± I warn her, ¡°You are fast changing that possibility.¡± ¡°Ethan,¡± her voice drops to a tone lower as I can hear her stutter in her words, ¡°You know that you feel something for me. She has never cared about you the way I do; look what she has done to you.¡± ¡°Emma, what happened between us was a mistake¡­¡± And god, I should not have said that, for next, she explodes out in anger, ¡°You don¡¯t mean that. All those times¡­¡± With those very words that are threatening to be discovered, I watch as Ana¡¯s eyes grow wild. ¡°Emma, I am not asking you again to drop that gun.¡± But there is no sign that she is going to back down and let Ana walk away from this unharmed. The fear cripples every movement that I am trying to make to get Ana to safety. It is not only my immediate concern, but it has Ray and Gibbs on the edge as well. There has now drawn a crowd of Marines that has heard themotion. Needless to say, within seconds, the Pendleton Police are surrounding us. Now, if I thought one of the Officers could talk her down, then I am mistaken. She is a fucking Raider. They are tough as shit¡­ And near damn indestructible¡­ But she has one thing against her¡­ The determination of a father and husband¡­ It is that determination that has me right up her back. In as little as the wink of a breath, I point the tip of my barrel against the back of her head. I hear her gasp as she feels the cold steel and the warmth of my breath on her neck as I softly growl, ¡°This is thest time I repeat myself. Drop the fucking gun.¡± But she does not move an inch and only but whispers, ¡°I knew I would have you close to me one day again.¡± I cannot help but burst out in a fit ofughter, ¡°If this is your idea of being close, then fuck, you really need help.¡± And I should not have said this, for she lifts her Glock that fraction higher to meet the center of Ana¡¯s temple. ¡°Now back off or the whore days.¡± Then she pauses for a brief moment, ¡°You have two choices. Youe with me, or your whore dies.¡± There is a snap in my restraint as I look over her shoulder into the eyes of Ana. There is fear riddled in every corner. Her mouth does not need to tell me, but her body begs to be saved. With that, a small piece in me dies, and I know that I havee to a point where I will make some hard decisions in my life. What I do next will not define just my future but those of three others. Ana¡­ My child¡­ And Emma¡­ I don¡¯t give a fuck what happens to me. There are only twoing out of this alive. So with that determination to uphold my vows to my wife, I push the tip of the barrel even firmer, watching as it disappeared between her chocte brown hair. She inhales deeply¡­ Then she whispers under her breath, but I cannot hear a word she says. Only by the look on Ana¡¯s face do I know that it is not something that is better left unsaid. With onest hope in me, I call her name that I wish that I had never spoken at all from the very first moment Iid my eyes upon her. I regret ever taking that foolish step into her tent that fateful day and even beyond that, I continued to step over what was a very blurred line at the time. There are many things that I would want to take a retake on, and this one is the biggest mistake that I would want to erase. But there is no turning back, only the time to clean up your mess. And what a fucking mess I have made. But it ends here. Take no prisoners¡­ Leave no one behind¡­ And¡­ Deafening¡­ Earth-shattering¡­ BANG And¡­ All goes quiet. Chapter 205 A Inch Of Reaction There is an echo of a gunshot that is traveling through the barracks.Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. My heart hase to an abrupt stop, and all I can feel is the suffocation I feel as I cannot breathe. For a brief moment, I have snapped my eyes closed, but the fear of what I might see when I open them makes me not want to face the scene that has happened in front of me. I will simply die if I have to open my eyes and see my wife lying on the floor. For one, I don¡¯t know what I will do to Emma, and as for the next, I might just fucking die right there on the floor with Ana. But next from the side of me, I hear the voice of Gibbs, ¡°Ethan! Ethan! Ethan, can you hear me?¡± By the tone of his voice, I am trying to understand what has happened without having to open my eyes, but then there is another sound, ¡°Soldier!¡± I immediately snap my eyes open. ¡°Ana!¡± She chuckles softly at me, ¡°Yes,st time I checked. Are you okay, soldier?¡± ¡°Boo, I was so goddamn scared that she had shot you.¡± But as I look past Ana, I see one of the officers move closer to Emma that is still very much alive. Now I don¡¯t know what I am presently feeling or even thinking, but I descend down on her and press my gun right into the back of her head again. The entire crowd gasps and there is silence for only but one voice, ¡°Soldier, don¡¯t do it.¡± Well, I wish that was Ana, but I have one rather nervous Officer standing in front of me with wide eyes and a fairly trembling hand. I am a man with a purpose. This woman will note near my family again. But this woman is also foolish, ¡°You will not shoot the woman you love, now will you?¡± I only butugh at her, ¡°You are right, I won¡¯t shoot the woman I love because it is not you.¡± Pressing the gun even harder against the soft skin of her head, I continue to rumble, ¡°You will note near my family again; I am going to make sure of that.¡± Then from behind me, I hear the voice of reasone over my shoulder, ¡°Ethan,¡± Ray¡¯s voice is nearly begging, ¡°Please put that gun down.¡± ¡°Ray, this bitch tried to have Ana and me killed, and then she put all of your lives in danger. She does not deserve to be here.¡± ¡°It is not up for you to decide that, Ethan. Let the authorities deal with her. Somehow I don¡¯t think that she will be back again.¡± I only but burst out inughter as I nce over my shoulder at Ray, ¡°Did she not say that she is a woman of many talents?¡± ¡°Well,¡± Rayughs between his worried breaths, ¡°I don¡¯t think she is that talented. Now please drop that goddamn gun. You are not a killer.¡± Now it is me that needs to remind him, ¡°You want to reassess that again?¡± But before I even say another word to implicate myself in something that is left better unsaid, Rayes and rests his hand on my shoulder, ¡°Please, Ethan. You have a family. Don¡¯t let this woman ruin your life. Don¡¯t give her the satisfaction.¡± Yes, Ray is right. I cannot let Emma take away the only thing that is important to me. So I pull my gun away from her head slowly, but not before I lean over and whisper in her ear, ¡°This is not over.¡± I hear as her breath increases by a fraction, ¡°Oh, I am counting on that.¡± ¡°No, don¡¯t get me wrong, Emma, it is not in the way you think. Next time, they will be taking you in a bag. So don¡¯t ever set your feet near my family or me again.¡± And just as she is about to say another word, I show for the Officer to take her away before I might just change my mind. Then finally, I spin around on my heel and go back to Ana that has grown more nervous than she was before. ¡°Come boo, let me take you home. You have a rough few days, and I am sure that you must be hungry.¡± She only but chuckles at me as we walk towards the car that is unfortunately right past the Mighty Might Truck that they are putting Emma in. And as we walk past, I hear her cursing underneath her breath. But it is not so much the cursing that is worrying me. Next, I hear the Officer shout at me, ¡°Ethan, get down!¡± As I nce in an instant over to my left side, I watch as Emma has the Officer¡¯s gun drawn on Ana and me. ¡°Fuck!¡± I push Ana behind me and shield her away from Emma. And so I stand with a guning towards at a very slow and rming pace. I think Emma has reassessed her options. But this will not deter me. ¡°What?¡± I start to ask her, ¡°Do you not love me anymore now?¡± She growls through her teeth, ¡°You have ruined my life, Ethan Hunter. I should have never allowed you into my tent.¡± Ya, about that. Though ¡°Emma, you are a Raider, I thought you would have your head more together. Guess I was not your downfall, but you are practically your own worst enemy. Maybe you ruined yourself a long time ago. I am just the man that pushed you over the edge.¡± She bursts out in a cackle while still approaching, ¡°Oh, you did push me over the edge¡­¡± And I so do not want her to finish that sentence. Yet, ¡°Can you remember¡­¡± ¡°No, Emma, I remember nothing. Whatever you think was between us, it never existed.¡± From behind me, I feel as Ana starts to dig her nails in my back. But, ¡°You are just lying to yourself, Ethan.¡± Emma steps one step closer, ¡°And you are lying to your wife.¡± ¡°Emma, whatever you think happened or think are going to, is all in that fucked up little head of yours. Now drop the fucking gun and let the men y with the toys. You are not a goddamn Marine; you are a fucking embarrassment.¡± And that I should not have said. There is a loud¡­ POP I feel as my hands grow firm around the grip of my Ruger. With the reflex of an inch, I flick the trigger with the tip of my finger. Faster than the wink of a breath, the bullet slide through the chamber. Then in one slight jolt¡­ POP The bullet pierces through her white shirt. Blood staining as it starts seeping from the wound that has just opened between her breasts. She drops down to the floor. Before Ana can see, I whisk her away to the car. ncing briefly over my shoulders as I wait to see if Emma gets up from where she is lying. Once we are safely back in the car, Ana turns to me, ¡°Is she okay?¡± ¡°Boo, I am not sure, and I don¡¯t care. I just need to get you and the baby home safely.¡± With that, we wind our way back through the streets until we finally make our way home. There is an incredible fear in Ana¡¯s eyes as we pull into the driveway; I know what she is thinking, so I turn to her, ¡°It is okay, boo, they are all gone now.¡± So I lead her by the hand, and we go inside, where I take her straight to the room and let hery down on the bed. Then I stare deep into those beautiful brown eyes, ¡°I will do anything to protect my child and my wife.¡± ¡°But soldier, look how many people you had to kill just to keep us safe. How are you¡­¡± I ce my finger softly against her lips, ¡°Ssshhh, boo. I will be okay, I promise you.¡± Her arms sp around my neck as she needs to have my body closer. The moan that escapes her lips awakens an even greater longing for her body and soul. The touch of her skin sends a fiery passion throughout my core. My mouth finds her lips, and I prepare to take them, take every bit that I can have Then for a brief moment, we pull away¡­ ¡°Oh, god, boo, just give me one more minute.¡± She whimpers in my ear, ¡°I¡­¡± My hand drifts to her hips and settles there for a minute before I pull her closer into me. She inhales sharply. She locks her arms around my neck again and runs her fingers through my hair. I begin to nuzzle her neck with soft kisses, so soft they felt like whispers. Her lipse closer to mine, and our breaths mingle. For what seems like an eternity, we just stare into each other¡¯s eyes. She looks down at my slightly parted lips. We both lean into each other in slow motion, never breaking eye contact once. Then we begin to close the gap even more than before. With a slight pull of her hair, I bend her head backward, giving me easy ess to her lips. My warm breath lingers just for a second; I feel that I cannot breathe, I cannot move, my entire body stiffening. Then she kisses me. When she kisses me, my brain lights on fire and the warmth spread throughout my entire body. I am addicted. As she wants to speak, I softly press my finger against her soft velvety lips¡­ ¡°Ssshhh.¡± But then I add¡­ ¡°Do you want me to stop?¡± She answers by loosening the buttons of my shirt slowly one by one; her hands are slightly trembling. I take her hand to stop it from shaking and let my lips seek hers instead; it is all she needs to take that edge off her nervousness. In no time, she has my bare naked chest in front of her; she runs her fingers over the lines of my body. Then she slowly pulls my shirt off over my shoulders. But then I stop her, ¡°Boo, there is something that I need to talk to you about. Chapter 206 Sensations Of Pleasure ¡°Not now, Ethan.¡± As the very wordse from Ana¡¯s sweet lips that I have been hoping to hear, it is with absolute raw desire that I grab that damn peachy ass and pull every inch of her toned body into mine. I hear her gasp as she prepares to push me away, but as she leans into me, she catches a hint of my cologne and eases into me. She kisses me gently and carefully, but it is not gentleness that I am after. I knot my fist in her hair, and as I pull her closer, she softly moans. Her arms circle my waist; as her skinys hot and heavy against me, she is melting into my body. After a few moments of silence, she kisses me again. It feels as if lightning strikes and the sky breaks open. She steals my breath away and gives it back. My breath hitch and my body numbs. As she runs her delicate fingers down my spine, the sensations that I feel sends a flush of heat to my core. Then I push her down onto the soft sheets. I lock my hands around her wrists and pin them about her head. She squirms and tries to release herself from my firm grip, but I am far stronger. I can see it is driving her crazy, and it mes the desire to take her. I lean in and kiss her, soft, slow; then Ipletely devour her. With my free hand, I start to explore her body. My god, she is firm but yet so soft. As I gently begin to caress her, she leans deeper into my touch. Her body is squirming as she quivers. As I let go of her hands, she grabs my hair and yanks me closer, taking my lips for hers to taste. Fuck I want her. I can feel the rush of arousal build up in my core. Strong lust and simple desire take control of my body and mind. For one brief moment, the words leave my lips in only but a soft whimper, ¡°I want you.¡± I push her dress over her waist, exposing her naked toned skin. Then my tongue trails down to her belly; I run it over her navel. Tasting every inch of her glorious body. Moving down toward the stic of her panties. She gasps as I move my fingers down her hot, burning skin. She runs her hands through my thick dark brown hair; I growl deep from my chest and whisper. ¡°I want you. I want to be inside of you.¡± I can barely finish my sentence, and her lips crash against mine. Her soft lips move against mine. Then she kisses me hard. ¡°Oh god,¡± I moan into her mouth as her tongue grazes mine. I lose myselfpletely in the kiss, in the moment. My tongue finds the sensitive parts below her ear. The moan that escapes her lips awakens an even greater longing for her body and soul. The touch of her skin against my tongue sends a fiery passion throughout my core. I cannot keep my self-control any longer. It¡¯s like a battle raging inside of me as she makes my body quiver. Her hands unlock behind my neck, and they are moving all over. First down my shoulders, then down my chest, I can feel my heart pounding beneath my flesh. Her touch sends my blood racing as she moves further down to my waist. My body freezes, and for a moment, I stop breathing, and a growl escapes my lips. She slides her hands through my hair and knots her fingers in it; she slowly pulls me closer to her, so close that our lips almost touch. Her sweetness attacks every corner of my senses. Just thinking of letting myself get lost in her sends a pure ache of craving to my very much throbbing erection. Her entire body quivers beneath me. ¡°Fuck, I want you.¡± She moans in my ear as her lips tremble, ¡°Then take me.¡± I press her back even further on the bed. She lets out another shattering moan. Every time I kiss her deeply, she makes the most glorious sounds, delicious noises of pleasure as I continue to plunder her with my tongue. She gasps as I move my fingers down between the fabric of her panties and her hot, burning skin. Her hands run through my thick brown hair; a deep growl escapes from my chest and I softly whisper. ¡°Today I am going to be the death of you.¡± As I slide my fingers into her panties, I can feel they are gettingpletely soaked. Easing her legs gently apart, I slip my fingers between her damp folds and deep into her wetness. My thumb draws circles around her sweet spot in a perfect rhythm. Then I gently ease her legs apart and slip my fingers between her damp folds and slide my finger deep into her wetness. My thumb surrounds her sweet spot in a perfect rhythm. She cries out in a moan as her eyes roll back in her head. ¡°Oh, god boo.¡± ¡°Ethan.¡± ¡°Ssshhh, enjoy it.¡± I twist and turn my finger; then, I stop my delicious rotation. ¡°Please don¡¯t stop.¡± As I drive inside her once again, I nip and tease her nipples until they are standing hard at attention. Her thighs clench and her body quivers. Then I stop again. ¡°Ethan, please.¡± Then I drive my finger deep into her wetness. Thrusting once¡­ twice¡­ three times. I feel her muscles contract, and she pushes against my hand. She shudders against me in a long high pitched orgasm. I feel her legs are quaking. As she finally slows, I look up at her face and see her face glowing.All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. There is nothing more I want than take her. The thought has not even passed, and she has my pants even faster to my knees. Then she grabs me by the shirt and drags me up her body. Her hand is moving up my leg, her fingers gently grazing my hard length. My body is trembling as she moves her hand further under my shirt. She is bing a wet mess, her body aching for me to be between her legs. ¡°My god, fuck boo.¡± I pull her closer to my chest and turn her onto her knees. I pin her hands firmly above her head. While grinding my aching groin deep into her ass, I shove her soaked panties down her thighs. Laying right in front me bare is that sweet tight ass of hers. ¡°Fuck, I am going to bite this.¡± I wrap my arms around her waist and draw her back into my hard length. As I rub the tip of my head over her entrance, I get soaked in her juices. With one hand I hold her hands into ce, while the other grips onto her hip. In one brutal thrust, I drive deep into her, filling her so suddenly that she cries out in shock. Pulling back out again, I m into her again, holding desperately onto her hips. My hand moves over her back and bottom, onto her breast and softly rubbing her nipples. She squirms and moans as she tries to break free. Slowly my hand is torturing her body to slow ecstasy. Then I position the tip of my erection over her entrance again¡­ In one¡­ two¡­ three¡­ I m so deep that I can feel every inch of me along her pussy walls. ¡°God, boo, you feel fucking good.¡± As she looks over her shoulder she sees the mischievous grin on my lips and all she does is smile back, she knows¡­ Tonight she is getting all six-seven inches. Over and over again I m into her, my rhythm moves from fast to frantic as we both give into raw lust. I stop. She whimpers. Wordlessly I sit back and pull her onto myp, positioning her and dropping her onto my hard length. As my fingers trace lightly down her spine, she shivers. Then without warning I plunge into her. She is hopping up and over my erection. With each thrust our skin p together. I am fucking her, then fucking her again, over and over I am thrusting into her. ¡°Fuck, Ethan, I am¡­ I am¡­ Oh fuck,¡± Her cries grow louder, more desperate, as the pleasure mounts. She is on fire. She aches for release. Then as I grunt with force, she throws her head back as she trembles in an orgasm. One¡­ Two¡­Three more thrusts, I am so overwhelmed, my heart and soul are about to be ripped wide open. Finally I let go and explode deep inside her. With that I fall next to her onto the bed and stare at the ceiling that is still spinning beyond control. As my bodyes down from the high, I turn to her and smile, ¡°I really need to tell you something.¡± Chapter 207 Losing Control ¡­Ana POV¡­ I have just told Ethan to get out of my sight. He seems to be holding a secret, and that in itself, not even knowing what it is, has driven me beyond mad. So I am left here with nothing but my thoughts and an evil that is growing inside. I have tried for the past several hours to let go of what is haunting me, but every time I think of him, I fall apart. The edges of my restraint have snapped, and I have stopped thinking straight almost an hour ago. There is a darkness that is surrounding me with a suffocating grip on my chest. My only aim now is to rid myself of the pain that has consumed every fiber in my broken body. But it is not working. I am busy going fucking crazy. Should I continue on this path, I am going toe down in one hell of a spectacr way. Crash and burn that is what Ana Jenkins is famous for. All because of you, Ethan Hunter. But because of you, I have found someone that I love. My feelings for you elude the four letters of love. I think it¡¯s high time they coined a new word for it because saying ¡®I love you¡¯ doesn¡¯t entirely depict the state of my heart. But the state of my heart at this present moment is nothing but a fucking mess. Ya, fuck this. I grab the keys for my car off the table, and on my way to the door, I fling my jacket over my shoulder. I need air. I am busy dying. I need to get away from myself. Ethan always used to say that I am my own worst enemy. Well, that is definitely not a bullshit story. I will ruin myself without even having to put in a great effort. I push the very thought to the back of my mind as I slide into the driver¡¯s seat. I should not be in this car. Not now. Not in the state that I am. And most of all, it ising down hard as the rain pounds on the roof of the car. Well, I don¡¯t give a shit; I want to feel the rush of adrenaline as it builds up to a heat under my chair, shooting that sensation that only Ethan makes me feel between my legs. God, even thinking of the parts that are feeling the thrill of anticipation, wants me to phone him. God, I need him.N?velDrama.Org owns this text. He has always been my push, my strength, and my fight. He is my all in all. I felt like the luckiest girl that day. I met him out there on that path, and him taking me for breakfast the next day. The way he kissed me that morning and the sweet words he spoke to me. His words have never left me since then, as he so casually whispered, ¡°Boo.¡± I could barely keep my shit together. Here was this Marine, and he wanted me, the nobody girl that just found her way of there on the back of the mountain. I needed not even have to second guess my choice that day. So with this memory of a time when we were nothing but happy and the fact that I know that he has betrayed me, that I bring the car to life with a roaring start that shoots fires that feeling that I am craving to every corner of my body. Whom the fuck needs sex if you have such a great machine vibrating between your legs. It is total ecstasy that is raging through my body, and just for that moment, the demonys his head down to rest. But the minute the image of Ethanes to mind, I am right there again. All my life, I¡¯ve always looked forward to having someone who would love me even just a little, and I thought that man was Ethan. I used to think to myself, what else is there to look for when I¡¯ve got everything in him. For a brief second, I smile as he breezes into my mind again. But then I see that fucking bitch again; he need not even have to tell me what it is that he wants to tell me so desperately. I know that it has something to do with Emma, and I know from what he told me that he was rather close to her. Well, I was about to find out how close before I told him to get out. I have never been so mad in my life, yes I too did my share of cheating, but why has he not told me of this before. Then the anger is brought back to the surface again. It is in my head, and I want it out; I don¡¯t want this memory that will torment my dreams for what will be days toe. So with the sheer determination to rid myself of my ckened memories, I push the car from zero to sixty in only two seconds. As the tires hit the tar, my voice echoes down the street, ¡°Fuck you, Ethan Hunter!¡± As I navigate between the cars, I push the car harder. I need to feel that speed. I need to reach that pique. So I race down the streets at a dangerous speed, all just to get a man out of my head that I know I still love. They say happiness begins within you, but mine emanated from having him beside me. My thoughts, my mind, and my heart are all upied by him alone. Even though there is so much hatred, I know that he has stolen my heart and all the good part in it belongs to him. I am a firm believer that some peoplee into your life for a short period, while others are destined to stay till the end. Well, Ethan is my person; he is my destiny till the end. He is the reason for my persistent smiles; that is, of course, when I do not hate him. I can simply not love him any lesser than this, but I know that I can hate him with more in me than I possess. Fuck! I am confusing myself. Do I love the man? Or do I hate him? Why do I so desperately want to go to him if I despise him so much then? Perhaps if he truly walks away from me, I know that I could die. All I know is that he is the only man that creates this same fire in my body. I can feel him carved in my soul, yet I feel him slice my heart open at the same time. Why am I so set on hoarding Ethan for as long as I live? Whether I am going to hate him or love him, I know that he will never leave my life. And life is something that I am putting in danger as I bring my car to a screeching stop, the back even swerves a bit to the right, and god, I really feel like I could die. But this is not where I am going to stop. I have made up my mind¡­ I am going to Gibbs¡­ So I, with newfound hope in my heart, that I spin the car around, throwing up a great deal of smoke that is burning from the tires. I don¡¯t care. I need to be with him. I just need him to hold me for only an hour, that is all I need, and then I will take my shit and leave his life. All I need for one moment is to taste the sweetest taste that lingers in his mouth. I want to stare into his tempting eyes. Just us, in a moment, muted. I need that spark that lights up my world, he is, and I wish I saw this before this n failed that he is the only thing that I live for. He is priceless. Yes, we are entangled in one big fucking mess. But I love him. I love the man. I cannot let him go. I cannot let us go. So I push harder. I pick up at a ridiculous speed and swerve between the cars, barely missing them as my driving bes more reckless by the second. I just have to get to Ethan; I cannot wait to feel his tantalizing touch and his kisses that ignite a fire in me. I need to get to him before I change my mind about my feelings. I have put my anger in a zip lock bag and dumped it in the trash where it rightly belongs. The thought of him has calmed the waves; he has pulled me out of the water of tumult. But water is not what I see ahead of me, and before I can ever react¡­ It all bes ck¡­ Chapter 208 The Cards Of Life They say that the future is a nk sheet of paper, and we are the ones that draw the lines on it, but sometimes our hand is held, and the lines we draw aren¡¯t the lines we wanted. That is life, isn¡¯t it? A long series of what-if¡¯s that lead from one moment to the next, time never pausing for you to catch your breath, to make sense of the cards that have been handed to you. And all you can do is y your cards and hope for the best. Well, I am not a fucking poker yer. But, ya¡­ Life is also a collection of moments, some good and some bad; they ultimately form the puzzle of your life. There is someone who has stood in the same dark ce, that the very same puzzle as you. It¡¯s okay not to be okay sometimes. Sometimes, it¡¯s normal, healthy, and necessary to feel defeated, so you know what it¡¯s like to rise another time. This, too, shall pass. This situation isn¡¯t your final destination. Where there¡¯s pain, there¡¯s also love. Where there¡¯s sorrow, there¡¯s also hope. Where there¡¯s darkness, there¡¯s always light. So where is the fucking light? My fucking light told me to get away from her. Yes, I wanted to be honest with her about what happened between Emma and me. God knows why I have not told her about this sooner, and now it feels that it is toote for that. When in fact, it is. I seem to keep on making bad choices when ites to Ana. Now don¡¯t get me wrong, I am not saying that Ana is a bad choice. I just simply do not think when ites to her. I get so caught up in the fairytale that we are supposed to be living that I forget to use mymon sense. Now myck of it, has led her to be hurt. She does not know what I was going to say, but I can almost guarantee that she knows that it was about Emma. She is like that, she just knows me better than I know myself. And for that I fucking love the woman.N?velDrama.Org owns this text. But now she does not want to have anything to do with me. I have messed up¡­yet again. And as I stand here and let the tears well up in my eyes, I remind myself that it is okay to cry. It is okay to let the tears carry your emotions out of your system. Let darkness blot them out. Yes, I am standing here with a heart that is broken, yet it does not mean that I am broken. The crack is there to let the light in to take away the darkness. But who is taking Ana¡¯s darkness away? I should be there; she should be here with me now. I can simply not ept that she is going to walk away; she will not disappear out of my life again. I will spare nothing to find my way back to her again. Nothing! I will be back in the arms of the woman that I love. So this has turned out to be the worst day of my life. If it were not for Gibbs here, I would have gone off my fucking mind a long time ago. That is what makes me love this man so much; he will sacrifice anything in an instant. I am truly starting to think that I am a man that draws a string of bad luck. But putting that aside, I only but smile at Gibbs as I nod, ¡°Will you grab me a whiskey.¡± He only but bursts out inughter, ¡°You are just being goddamnzy. Try to do it yourself.¡± Well, much to my own amusement, which is truly not the right attitude to have at present, I finally swing my ass off the chair, and in no time at all, I am back in my seat with a bottle of whiskey and two sses in hand. Gibbs only but smirks, ¡°Told you that you could.¡± Yes, I know what he is doing; he is trying to get me to keep on moving and not sit and waste away in my own misery. So with a hint of frustration, I wave him off, ¡°You are just grinding my ass because you know I do not have the strength to fucking knock you out.¡± As he takes the bottle from me and pours a shot in one of the chilled sses, I fall back in my chair and close my eyes. Being in this dreadful club situation is torture beyondpare. Every moment that the clock ticks away is one more second that Ana is torn away. My heart feels like it is ripped right open as the thoughts of this whole horrible situation keep slicing every bit of me open. It is slicing at my heart and ripping me open. And god! It fucking hurts. When did I start to feel? When did I get to know what real pain is like? This is unbearable. Even this chair has be unbearable to sit in, so I rise from my seat and start pacing the length of the floor. My mind does not stop running in circles. It is amind that cannot bear not knowing what is going on. It is near damn insufferable with only but questions looming over my head. Every wink I take, I am reminded that there is nothing I can do. Fucking nothing! I must sit here in silent agony and wait. It is killing me slowly. What am I going to do? I know that I am supposed to be strong, but I am so tired of having to be strong. It seems that my life is riddled with tormented pain. I really do not know how much more of this I can take. Everything in me wants to crumble, but then I think, I am a fucking Marine; we do not falter. We remain strong above everything that is thrown in our path. But as soon as I close my eyes, in an instant, the tears threaten to flood down my cheeks. My heart feels like it is dying a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves until there is going to be nothing left. No hope. Nothing fucking remains. Nothing. I havee to ept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. You may not know where you¡¯re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you. Ya, well, that is bullshit. I knew exactly where I was going when I took that goddamn woman into that tent. Fuck! I can be so goddamn stupid sometimes. So yes, now I have to pay the price. With each ticking second, my heart grows even more fearful; I fear that maybe all the seconds are up. That my time is up, I will never see Ana again. I know that I should have faith, but how can you have faith if the person that you have faith in is the very person that is not here. But who is here is Ray, and he is hurriedly making his way over to me; my heart instantly freezes over from fear. The very same fear that I see in his eyes as hees to stand in front of me. I can barely utter a word, ¡°What is wrong?¡± And as he wants to speak, the tears are drowning his deep brown eyes, so after giving him an inpatient few minutes, he stutters as he speaks, ¡°It is Ana.¡± A thousand daggers are driven through my heart as one single name takes over my existence, ¡°Ana? What?¡± I shake him as he cannot get the words out, ¡°What the fuck is wrong? Where is Ana?¡± He mumbles for a few moments, then finally, he gets a hold just long enough to utter the words that will haunt me, ¡°Ana was in an ident.¡± I drop the whiskey ss to the floor, and the contents crash all over my feet. There is an incredible sting that shoots to every corner of my body. My legs start to give in underneath me, but Gibbs is there to catch me. I grab onto my chest; the air has grown thick, it feels as if I cannot breathe. The room has grown so small, and all I can hear is my screams that travel down the corridors. As Gibbs helps me to sit down, ¡°Where the fuck is Ana?¡± Ray that can barely speak,es to stand next to me, ¡°I don¡¯t know. I was on my way there now, but I realized that you were not at home.¡± There is a fit of deep anger that starts boiling from deep in my core, and I immediately snap, ¡°What do you fucking know? What can you tell me?¡± My world crashes down like a meteorite that hits the surface with full force, splitting my heart right open. Chapter 209 Reluctant News The drive to the Hospital is near to torture as I feel torn away from Ana for each ticking second too long. The only thought that consumed me as I sat there in silence, trying my best not to show the tears that wanted to burn with pain down cheeks that had gone pale and near damn cold, the only single thing that ran through my mind is that all of this is my fault. If I were not fucking cheating on her with Emma, then none of this would have happened. I will wallow in my own misery rightfully deserved if anything has to happen to her. So here I am, I am standing in a godforsaken waiting room. With each second that the clock ticks to a minute, there is a small piece of me that is slowly dying. The hardest thing in life is having patience. They say the longer something takes, the better the oue. Well, I say it is bullshit. We have been waiting like what seems forever. Everyone is trying their level best to calm me down and assure me that everything is going to be okay. Well, I have had enough. ¡°The next fucking person that tells me to calm down is getting punched.¡± Then Gibbs reluctantly steps forward. ¡°Ethan, at least sit down then. That racing up and down is not doing your heart any good.¡± I only but snap at him as he steps two steps back out of the fear that my fist will make an impact with his face. Yet I look at him with one dumbfounded look upon my face, ¡°What the fuck does walking up and down have to do with my heart?¡± Then next is Ray with his best attempt, ¡°Pleasee with me so we can get coffee.¡± ¡°Gibbs just fucking said I am racing my heart rate up,¡± I pause for a few moments as I shake my head. ¡°Now, you want to give me caffeine?¡± Well, this man has always been a wise-ass; he can be fucking lucky that he is so far away, for he dares to continue, ¡°Then can I get you decaf then?¡± ¡°Do I look like someone that drinks goddamn decaf coffee?¡± Ray, too, steps two steps back far from my reach, yet he is not ready to give up, ¡°Thene get some fresh air.¡± ¡°I am breathing perfectly fine. I don¡¯t need fucking fresh air!¡± With both of them feeling rather defeated, I continue to pace the length of the floor. The longer this Doctor is taking, the worse the images of so many scenarios run through my mind in endless circles. ¡°Why the fuck is this Doctor taking so long?¡± Well, I have had enough of waiting, so I look at Gibbs, ¡°Gibbs, please go find this Doctor before I break his fucking legs.¡± Then I turn to Ray, ¡°Please go get me that coffee with caffeine.¡± With that, everyone fucks off, leaving me alone with Williams. He only looks at me for a brief moment, after a few seconds of staring me in the eyes, ¡°Ethan,e take a seat.¡± Very reluctantly, with my eyes still focussed on the door, I sit down next to him, my heart is beating fast, and I feel that I can burst out crying any second. ¡°Fuck Williams, I am so goddamn scared. I don¡¯t know what I am going to do if something happens to her.¡± ¡°Ethan, I just know she will be okay. You guys have been through so much shit, and it always works out.¡± ¡°This is the kind of thing I cannot control. I can save her, I can even fix her, but my damn hands are tied here.¡± ¡°Ethan, she is a fighter; she is one damn hard-ass stubborn woman.¡± I cannot help but chuckle at him. Just as my tears dry up, I see Raye back with the coffee, ¡°Here, I put some extra sugar in for you.¡± ¡°Seriously? Do you want to kill me?¡± Just then, Gibbses back with the Doctor. I did not quite think he would get it right. But, ¡°Who the fuck is with Ana?¡± The Doctor only clears his throat as he steps nervously around. Well, I can only think what he thinks of our bunch. Then he mumbles before he starts to speak, ¡°There is another Doctor and Nurse with her.¡± ¡°How is she? Is she okay?¡± With that, I wink at Gibbs to let go of the Doctor¡¯s that seems very much relieved now. ¡°How is Ana?¡± He seems to look rather concerned, and I know that I am not about to like what he is going to tell me. With only but a half-smile, he reaches his hand to greet me, ¡°Dr. Johnson.¡±C¨°ntens bel0ngs to N?(v)elDr/a/ma.Org Not giving much thought to his novelties, I immediately interrupt him, ¡°How is Ana? Which part of the question do you not understand?¡± I watch as he hesitates for but a moment, ¡°She is resting; I have given her something to sleep.¡± In almost an instant, there is a relief that washes over me, but then that suffocating grip to my chest returns, ¡°And the baby?¡± The Doctor goespletely silent and rests his hand upon my shoulder, ¡°Come, let me take you to Ana.¡± The Doctor leads me to the room where my Ana is in. We stop at some godawful blue room where Ana seems to be resting. The Doctor leaves while I go inside. As soon as I step through the doorway, I see her opening her eyes. Her eyes are puffy from all the crying; her mascara is rubbed in all different ways over her face. She gives me one of her best fake smiles, ¡°Hey, soldier.¡± ¡°Hey, boo. How are you feeling?¡± I softly take her hand in mine, and all I can feel is it trembling. Then she bursts out crying, ¡°Hey, ssshhh, everything is okay.¡± She takes my face in her hand and gives me a gentle kiss on the lips. Then that genuine little smile forms around the corners of her lips. But there is something wrong that she is not telling me. ¡°Boo, what is wrong? Why are you crying?¡± ¡°Ethan, I need to tell you something.¡± ¡°Please don¡¯t let it be bad news; I will go fetch Ray toe really shoot this doctor.¡± She chuckles softly. ¡°I have never seen anyone go so pale so quickly in my life before.¡± Ya, just seeing the imagee back to my mind makes me burst out inughter. ¡°The man is crazy. Now, what is wrong, boo?¡± She hesitates for a while, and I can see, well, her eyes are very hard to read. There seems to be a hint of happiness between what seems to be a lot of pain. Now she does not look in pain, and if she were on morphine, she would not be able to hold her sentences together. Something is up, and it is making me worry. But her persistent silence continues as the tears start to trickle down her face again. And fuck! It breaks me into pieces, for I feel so helpless. There is nothing I can do to take her pain away. God, I cannot even protect her. I sometimes feel that she needs to be protected from me. But fuck that thought. ¡°Boo, you are really making me worry.¡± Yet, then another thought springs to mind, ¡°Why are you in this godawful blue room? Did they run out of white?¡± ¡°That is sort of¡­well, I don¡¯t know. I am not sure, Ethan. All I know is that I am scared.¡± ¡°Boo, no matter what it is, we will get through it. We always get through it, well, perhaps not the right way, but we make it. We always find our way back to each other.¡± Then the thought urs to me again. ¡°Are you going to leave again?¡± ¡°No, I promised you I won¡¯t leave again, and I think, well, I know that after today that you are never going to want me to leave. Perhaps want is too weak a word; I should rather say that you will not.¡± Ya, this girl is making no sense. But just then, the Doctor nervouslyes back into the room to check up on Ana, not really seeing very concerned about telling me about the baby. In fact¡­ They both are way too fucking calm for my liking. So with nothing but a big smile on his face, the Doctores and stands next to me, and rather oddly, he extends his hand to shake mine. I only but cock my head and frown at him, ¡°Did you have a bit too much morphine? Can one of you tell me what is going on?¡± ¡°Well, Mr. Hunter,¡± he only but continues to smile at me with a rather odd fucking smirk around his face. And ya, I have had about enough of these two smiling. So I only but stand from the chair where I have been sitting and make my way around to where this Doctor is standing. His eyes grow rather wide as I descend on him like a storm. He only but steps two steps away and looks at Ana. ¡°I suggest you tell your husband about the baby before he kills me.¡± Chapter 210 An Early Arrival To say that I have not died a million deaths for the past few minutes would be a slight understatement. Not only did I have the fear that Ana got seriously hurt, but now I have the fear that something has happened to our unborn child. But as I stand here, it appears that Ana is unharmed, though much to my very frustration, there is something else that is going on, and these two smiling faces are not telling me what is going on. Well, my restraint is thin, and I am about to snap if one of these two does not speak this instant. Though it does not like that is going to happen. That relief that I felt only but a moment ago has now turned into fear that there is something more that is going on. I can simply not bear if something has happened to the baby, for I will be the one that will be directly med for that. So ya¡­ Ana is not acting herself. And next to her is a useless Doctor that is acting even weirder. Well, if one of them does not tell me what is going on, I might just lose all the restraint that I have left. Now Ana seems far more nervous than what she looks scared, so I am going to guess here that it is not as bad as I think it is. But this woman is known to put up a very convincing face, so you have no idea what she is thinking. So getting slightly mad, ¡°Boo, what are you not telling me?¡± ¡°Soldier, well, I¡­¡± Ya, then she burst out in tears, and I am left looking like the asshole. But yet, this Doctor is just standing there finding this all rather amusing, perhaps, ¡°Do I need to remind you who has the fucking gun here.¡± I watch as he steps back into the far corner where I cannot reach. Well, the man is dumb, for I don¡¯t need him close to me to blow his brains out. Then finally, after swallowing a few deep breaths, he turns to Ana, ¡°Mrs. Hunter, do you want me to discuss the, well, you know¡­ Do you wish for me to discuss it with your husband?¡± She does not afford the Doctor another single word, for her voice echoes to the corners of the room, ¡°No!¡± ¡°Well, best you get it on, for I do have other patients.¡± I only but cock my head and look at him confused, ¡°Are you just going to leave her like it here. What if she fucking dies?¡± ¡°Mr. Hunter, trust me, your wife is not going to die. Perhaps you.¡± Ya, and that is me. That little restraint that was left¡­snaps. ¡°Can someone tell me what is going on?¡± Ana is sitting in dead silence. She is looking at me while I am arguing with the Doctor. With each word, she cries even louder than before. She is starting to make me worry. ¡°Give her something. Can you not see she is in pain?¡± ¡°Mr. Hunter, your wife is not in pain either. She just has¡­a slight hormonal problem.¡± ¡°What?¡± I snap at him. ¡°You are not going to fucking stand there and insult my wife.¡± Then Ana jumps in for the first time since her crying spell, ¡°Soldier¡­¡± But before she can even speak, I find myself right in front of the Doctor that has grown rather nervous just standing so close to me, yet still, ¡°Now, this is thest time that I am going to ask the both of you what is going on.¡± From the left side, I feel the very t of Ana¡¯s hand make contact with the back of my head. Then she softly speaks under her voice, ¡°I am really fine, Ethan.¡± The Doctor is just standing there with some godawful smirk on his face. Something is obviously going on that I havepletely missed. I turn back to the Doctor. ¡°Please run some more tests on her; there must be something wrong.¡± ¡°There is no need, soldier.¡± Ana slightly squeezes my hand. ¡°I am perfectly fine.¡± ¡°Boo, please, I insist, let the Doctor do some more tests. Please, do it for me. I need to hear that you are okay.¡± The Doctor, who is now just getting a little more slightly annoyed than me, rumbles with a firm voice, ¡°Mr. Hunter, I know how to do my job, and when I tell you that your wife is fine, then she is fine.¡± I look suspiciously at him. ¡°Do you want me to show you how to do your job even better than you are doing it now?¡± ¡°Mr. Hunter, I feel sorry for this woman that married you.¡± Ya, that is me. I grip hold of my gun and firmly hold it in ce at my back, ¡°Now, do you want to repeat that again?¡± ¡°Ethan!¡± I turn my head to Ana that is giving me such a fateful look that I swear I have just died. So very slowly, I let go of my gun. The Doctor is standing there somewhat trembling with eyes focussed on Ana that is begging. And mine is begging even more, ¡°Boo, please, tell me what is wrong. Please let me help you. Has something happened to the baby?¡± ¡°Ethan, do you trust me?¡± ¡°Of course, I do?¡± ¡°And you love me?¡± ¡°You know more than anything.¡± I pull her into my embrace, and she snuggles into the crevices of my muscled chest. I feel her press into every ounce that is me. I wrap my arms around her in a soft cocoon. I know as she gets lost in the warmth that she feels protected. ¡°Oh, soldier,¡± her voice is calm as she speaks again. ¡°You are the only person that I know that gives indefinite hugs.¡± ¡°Where else would I rather be boo than herewith you?¡± ¡°I love you, soldier.¡± ¡°And I love you to infinity and beyond.¡± Her breathing starts to slow, and I can feel her melt into me; every muscle in her body begins to rx. Just for this moment, just for now, I know that she truly is okay. She stays locked in my arms for another few minutes and slowly pulls away She links her fingers into mine; I feel the slight tremble in her hands as she grips onto mine tightly. I give her a soft kiss on her temple. The nervous tension is undeniable. I truly wish she would tell me what the matter is. It breaks my heart that she feels she cannot confide in me. Just to think that there is something wrong and I can do nothing about it. What seems like forever is actually only a few minutes; the Doctor finds his voice again, ¡°Ana, would you like me to tell him.¡± ¡°No, Doctor, I will.¡± She fiddles with her fingers and stutters as she is trying to find her voice. ¡°For god¡¯s sake, Ana,¡± my final restraint snaps. ¡°What the fuck is going on? You are making me scared.¡± ¡°Well,¡± as she starts again, that Doctor starts smiling even more. Then she continues, ¡°Soldier, the thing is¡­¡± ¡°The thing is what, boo?¡± Ya, and that is me! ¡°Soldier,¡± I watch as the smile grows around her face as she looks at someone that is entering the room. Then she looks back at me again. ¡°Soldier, meet your son.¡± ¡°My what?¡±All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. As my voice echoes past the corridors, the room goes dark, and I drop to the floor. When I flutter my eyes open after what seems like an hour, I have a very worried nurse hovering over me with Ana standing next to her. Next to Ana, there is another nurse that is urging Ana to get back into bed. But the woman is having none of it. The moment her eyes meet mine, I can see that beautiful smile that I love grow around the corners of her face. Then much to the irritation of the nurse, shees kneeling down next to me. With nothing but that smile that keeps growing on her face, she takes my hand into hers and looks over to the side of her bed. Yet, I cannot see what she and this goddamn Doctor is still smiling at. Then she ces a towel under my head and brings her lips closer to my ears. She softly whispers, ¡°Do you want toe and meet your son?¡± ¡°But boo¡­¡± Iy my hand gently on her tummy¡­ And I fucking die. The world turns into a ck hole, and it feels as if I am sucked in with the thoughts consuming my mind that Ana has lost the baby and it is all my fault. But then she looks at me and softly speaks once again, ¡°Do you think that you can stand up.¡± So with legs that are betraying me spectacrly at this very moment in time, I rise to stand. Then she takes me to the corner of the room where she has been ncing to. And as I step closer¡­ Chapter 211 The Greatest Joy Ever Life does not always go as you n. Your bestid ns are sometimes going to fail. The question is, how do you deal with failure? Well, life is made up of these defining moments; it is up to you how you let these moments affect you, for they shall shape who you are and what you will be. And as I stand here, afraid to take that final step forward, I know that the moment I do my life will be defined by the only thing that is going to make me happy for the rest of my life. So with that final step¡­ I am standing and staring at the most overwhelming experience I have ever felt in my life. I cannot believe that this horny ass made that? If there would ever be something I did the best in my life, then this baby boy will be it. There is no words that can describe the emotions that are flowing through my body as I peek very hesitantly into the incubator. A feeling of perfect warmth settles over my skin as a thousand feathers tingle my senses. Seeing my baby boy is the closets that I will evere to magic. It is both terrifying and overwhelming. I have no idea what to do. Where do I go from here? What is the right thing to say? More importantly¡­ Am I going to be a great dad? Here is this tiny creature and I am feelingpletely dazed by his pure beauty. We have already ¡®known¡¯ him for months, but here he finally is face to face and it is beyond any feeling that I finally get to meet him. How?All content is property ? N?velDrama.Org. How did Ana and me do that? How did that little babye out of her belly? I was not expecting this. I knew that I would love him, but I know even now more than ever that I fill love him forever. Ethan Hunter has be a father. Yes, I would have loved to be there to see him being born, but this is just as good as anything. This is in fact even better, I get to see my son for the very first time. And it is magic. So as I cannot take my eyes off him, I lean even closer and softly whisper, ¡°Hi. I am your daddy.¡± He is the one who has made me a dad. The one who will teach me how to be a dad. My life has just changed in so many ways now that he has came into the world. Although I knew it would, the way he has changed my world is only something you can understand when you be a father. That means he will never truly know the love I have for him, or the way it felt the first time we locked eyes. I cannot wait to hold him in my arms. My love for him is and forever will be infinite. But I am scared. I feelplete lost, as the happy tearse down my face. All that matters was that he is here, he is beautiful, even more perfect than I could ever have imagined. Before him, my life was free. I was carefree, my worries seem so small now looking back. My days consisted of Ana and me. I was selfish. Everything was easy. I didn¡¯t know what to expect when he would finally came along, I didn¡¯t know how I would feel or how he would change our lives. But he did. In this instant. In this very now. He has changed my life for the better and life as we knew it will change forever. Today I became his daddy, I love him more than I could ever love myself or anything else in the world. I would give my own life for him He is the best thing I did in my life. My biggest aplishment. He is the greatest gift I have ever. How wonderful life is now that he is in our world. And as I look at Ana for a brief moment, there is nothing but tears in her eyes. With one nod of the head, the Doctor finally leaves us by ourselves. I pull her deep into my arms, ¡°I love you boo. I am so sorry I was not there.¡± ¡°Ssshhh, soldier. I am sorry for being so reckless and putting out child¡¯s life in danger.¡± I cup her chin in my hand and let her eyes meet mine, ¡°He is here, that is all that matters now.¡± For what seems like eternity, we just stare into each other¡¯s eyes. She looks down at my slightly parted lips and I know what is about to happen. We both lean into each other in slow motion never breaking eye contact once. My heart skips a beat and my knees get wobbly, even though I am not standing on my feet. I curl my hand around her neck, and tangle the other in her long wavy hair. Our lips brush softly against each other. Her lips is soft and delicately. They dance against me like butterfly wings. I pull away, hesitating for a moment. She felt new, yet oddly familiar, Her lips seemed moulded to the shape of mine. My hands curled around her so perfectly as if they were made just for her. She tastes like passion, like pure, unrestrained passion and I want more. Then we begin to close the gap even more than before. What begins as a small peck be more passionate. The rest of the world spins so fast it bes non-existant. I lean even further into her and my body melts into hers. It is as if I can feel a fire zing within me, out of control. We arepletely and utterly in sync in this very moment. Everything about her is perfect. The sheer softness of her hair as I run my hands through it. The taste of sweet cotton candy that lingers on her lips. Her breath that warms my cheek. The way she ys with the hair at the back of my head that tickles my neck. She presses her lips against mine even harder. Lightning passes through me. I feel lost in a different universe and she is slowly taking me away. Her cold hand creeps from my neck down my spine and pulls me closer. Her touch makes my body shiver. Her delicate, innocent kiss makes my heart flutter. Then it races. My body surrenders. I let her kiss me as long as she want. Everytime I let go, I go back and kiss her again softly. Then she locks her arms around my neck and runs her fingers through my hair. I begin to nuzzle her neck with soft kisses, so soft they felt like whispers. Her lipse closer to mine and our breaths mingle. My heart flutter inside my chest. Then she kisses me. When she kisses me my brain lights on fire and the warmth spread throughout my entire body. I am addicted to her, I cannot bare being without her and I can barely breathe when she is around. These kisses are my salvation and my torment. I live for them and I would die with the memory of them on my lips. I dedicate my life to being with her from this moment, from this kiss, for I know that if I lose her I would lose myself. She was the half that made me whole. I never set out to fall in love, to me love was a small fickle thing. Love made a man weak and in my line of business weak is the worst kind of ces you can find yourself in. Love was a thing for dreamers, a thing that is chased by people with their head in the clouds and not their feet on the ground. Love found me when I was not looking. I was not paying attention. It drew me in and kept me captive. It made me feel and experience so many feelings all at once. It took me on a journey that I know is not even close to ending. I know that it won¡¯t be easy and that I am going to get broken sometimes but I know for a fact that it is going to be worth every second of my life. Every second of the rest of my life I will spend with Ana and my child. And as I turn back to look at our baby boy, he opens those little brown eyes and looks straight into my soul. Now my life isplete. I need to remind myself how close I havee to nearly losing all that is precious in my life. So looking back at the woman that I love. ¡°Boo, can we never do that again.¡± I go silent for a brief moment and softly whispers to her, ¡°I cannot live without you. I know that now more than ever. I¡¯m not ever going to let you out of my life again.¡± Chapter 212 My Little Man ¡­Ana POV¡­ Life can be so unpredictable sometimes. You always seem to think that you have everything nned down to the veryst moment, the veryst detail with absolute perfection. You have your nsid out and know when to expect what it is that should happen in your life at a certain time. But then you make one reckless decision, and everything gets thrown out of bnce. The unexpected seems to follow you around the corner, and your life is in turmoil for the bad choices that you have made. If I had been more cautious and not acted on impulse, I would not have gotten into that car like a maniac and put the lives of not only myself but that of my child in danger. So taken that each cause has a reaction, here I find myself as a direct result of something that I could have handled in a far better way. But life does not always go as nned, and I can say that this is one n that I am happy that did not go as it was supposed to y out. As I sit here and I look over at Ethan that has not taken his eyes off our newborn son, there is a great peace that settles over my heart. For once, I can say that I amplete in more than one way. But I need to make a promise to my son that I will never act in that way again where I have put him in danger. If I could write a letter to my child, what would I say? You are only but a few hours old, so there are only a few things we know about you. Your hair would make a pop star jealous; all slicked down dark brown with frosted blonde tips. Your ¡°poo face,¡± with your mouth drawn in an off-center O, could be a meme. You smell like cream and mint, and I¡¯m sad I can¡¯t bottle that scent and revisit it for years toe. And if sleeping were apetitive sport, you stand a good chance of bringing home some medals to adorn your nursery. When we heard that you were going to be a boy, I confess that I was nervous. I know what it is to be a girl and a woman growing up in a man¡¯s world. What will your life be like? Every day, like a book, I try and read another page of you so I can witness your plot unfolding. But right now, your story stillrgely exists in my imagination. You are a swaddled little bundle of potential, and the triumphs and trials of your future loom yet unknown. And yet, while your father and I don¡¯t know whether you¡¯ll prefer trains or banjos or ygrounds, while we don¡¯t know what passions you¡¯ll pursue or whom you¡¯ll love, we talk about the values we hope you will live. Because they are on us to demonstrate. Because it is our responsibility to help you shape them. I hope, first and foremost, that you will understand where you came from. You came from a mom and dad who were Marines; in fact, your father is still much very one. And even a greater fact is that he will be leaving us soon to go back to that battlefield that he loves almost just as much as he does you. It is his passion, and I know, even though it is hard to see him go for a little while, that it means the world to him. So there will be times that your dad will not be around, but it is not because he does not love you; he merely has a job to do for the country that he loves. Who knows, perhaps one day you will follow in his footsteps. I hope that you will always harbor a deep curiosity for the world. I don¡¯t doubt that you will learn much in the span of your years, but the universe is vastpared to the tiny speck that is human knowledge. It may be tempting at a certain point to pronounce yourself ¡°made¡± ¡ª an expert, a fully realized individual ¡ª but I hope your ego never prevents you from undertaking the hard, tangled, and often unmorous task of gleaning for truth. Take time to behold the wonder of the universe; be humbled by all the ways you are still a beginner. I hope you will be wrong many, many times because you tried. I hope you can admit your failures and apologize to others when you are at fault so that past mistakes hold no power over you. I hope you revel in the journey and not just the results because it is in that path of growth and mastery that one¡¯s story is made. And finally, I hope that no matter what, you can hold these two truths in your heart at once: that the world is beautiful beyond imagination and that it is woefully short of perfect. No matter how good or bad things are, it can be better, and it can be worse. How you feel and what you make of it will be a matter of perspective, and the greatest battles you fight will take ce inside your head. The art of living well, then, lies in the bnce of these two truths. May you find joy in the simple, everyday moments: the gentle undtion of your baby¡¯s breath, theughter over a dinner table, the sweet taste of summer fruit. May you hold fast to hope and optimism, even when other people disappoint you and break your heart, as surely they will. But may you also recognize that at every moment, there is suffering that can be reduced, an injustice that should be questioned, and a better future that you can run towards. As youy sleeping next to me, your little fist barely bigger than my thumb, I am grateful that you are here, and I am overjoyed to be your mother. As I am saying this, you¡¯re too little to understand any of this right now. You¡¯re asleep in your crib, and I just keep thinking about how lucky I am. Not just to be a mom but to be your mom. I think a lot about what it means to be a mom; I think about all the ways in which I fall short, and I think about all the ways that I thrive. I¡¯m an imperfectperson, so it stands to reason that I will never be a perfect mother, but when you wake up, I know that I¡¯ll walk into your room and give you a good morning kiss, and you will smile at me, and I¡¯ll forget all the ways that I¡¯m imperfect. I will never stop trying to be the best mom I can be; I will never stop trying to be the mom that you deserve. So right now, I¡¯m going to make some promises to you. I promise to love you no matter what mood you¡¯re in. I promise to let you make a mess and explore the world around you. I promise to treat you with kindness. I promise to snuggle with you when you¡¯re not feeling good. I promise to be present in your life, not just physically but emotionally as well. I promise to not give in to your every whim but instead to make you smile when I can, but also say no when it means turning you into a well-adjusted adult. I promise tough with you and sometimes at you and to help you learn tough at yourself because that¡¯s the only way to get through this thing called life.Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. I promise to help you experience new things. I promise to be honest with you, no matter how tough it might be. I promise to protect you from the hard things as much as I can, and during the tough moments that I can¡¯t shield you from, I promise to help you get through it. I promise to try to understand your feelings, and if I can¡¯t understand what you¡¯re feeling, I promise to at least respect the way you feel. I promise that I will try my best to make it so that you never feel alone in this world. I promise to allow you to choose your own path, even if I disagree with it. I promise to teach you whenever there¡¯s something to be taught. I promise to learn from you. I promise that whatever life throws our way, I¡¯ll be standing right by your side. I promise to do my best every single day, to be worthy of being your mom. Sleep well, my little one. I can¡¯t wait to get to know you tomorrow, and in all our tomorrows toe. And as Ethan turns to me for so many times now with that smile that ispletely contagious, he cocks his head and softly whispers to me, ¡°Boo, what is his name going to be?¡± Chapter 213 Time For Introductions It has been two days now since our little baby boy was born, and I can still not get enough of staring at him while he sleeps so peacefully. Never have I seen something so precious and yet so fragile. These past two days have been very challenging, not only for our boy but for Ana and me, as we go through the ups and downs of him being born so early. If I say that the things that the Doctor mention does not scare the living shit out of me, then I would be lying. Talking about survival rates andplications is near enough to drive any man beyond the fear that only nightmares should be made of. As things stand at the very present, we are patiently waiting for his blood pressure and heart rate to start stabilizing. He is hooked up to so many tubes and wires that my heart breaks every time that I look at him. My only desire is to hold him, and I can see that it burns deep within Ana as well, but at this stage, the Doctor wants to move him as little as possible for these first few days. But we have at least been able to hold his tiny little hand and gently stroke his face. And on the very rare asion, I shock Ana to her core when I softly sing to him. Ya, it is old Marine songs, but I believe that itforts and reassures him that his parents are nearby. But what is breaking Ana¡¯s heart is that she can go home today while our little one is going to have to stay for at least another two weeks. Some shit about a low birth weight. To me, he looks perfectly fine, weighing in at five pounds, nearly seven ounces. However, the Doctor is walking around here throwing big words at us that not one of us understands, but we know it is in the best interest of our baby. Now, I keep on saying, baby¡­ Yes, we have not as yete up with a name for this little one. We are already failing as parents. But that is the least of our worries. What scares me shitless the most is that this Doctor, whom I am starting to firmly believe, does not know what he is doing, but hees with words like ¡®hard time.¡¯ Well, to me, ¡®hard time¡¯ equals struggling. So he is telling us that the poor child is struggling to suck, swallow, and breath at the same time. And knocking me with a further term called ¡®immature organs.¡¯ Now what the fuck is an ¡®immature organ?¡¯ Well, needless to say, that at some point, I have chased him from the room because he is only upsetting Ana. And for this very reason, she is terrified to leave our son alone, not really alone, for she intends on spending her next two weeks right by his side, right where I will be spending my time as well. So our main goal here is to get baby to increase his body weight as fast as we can and get him home where he belongs. I sure as hell don¡¯t want to spend my time in a ce that I am the most frightened of being in. If I think that Ana is terrified, then I must be beyond scared to death. We have no idea what we are doing, and guess what¡­ Ya, the mother-inw is making her way with my very confused parents up to give us the help that we need. Now my mom did not understand why I wanted her to bring Maggie along. I only told her that I would exin once everyone was here, for I can only imagine how much shit my dad is already giving the old bag. And he is probably going to have his own damn heart attack when he learns the surprising truth, just like I had. So it is in anticipation that we have been expecting their arrival at any moment now. Turning to Ana that has been pacing the length of the floor while for the past ten minutes, she only but frowns at me, ¡°Soldier, this is going to be a disaster. Your dad is going to kill my mother.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns this text. ¡°Boo, I hate to break it to you, but he has been killing her since the day that she decided to make the Hunter boys the topic of conversation for her gossip column.¡± ¡°Soldier, my mother is not that bad.¡± ¡°Boo, I can see where you get your temper from. Maggie can get pretty mean if you step on her toes, and then she will still publish it in the paper.¡± Ana only but walks on over to me and aims the very t of her hand to make an impact with my head, but from behind uses a very familiar screeching voice, and I swear that I nearly fucking die on the spot. ¡°Ana!¡± Maggie¡¯s voice travels to the corner of the room as she is about to reprimand her for wanting to p me against the head. But wait¡­ ¡°Maggie, what did I tell you about keeping quiet?¡± The voice of my father travels even further down the corridor as both Ana and I spin around and face our parents. Well, my dad looks pretty annoyed from spending such a long trip with Maggie in the car. I can only think what my mother is going to have to say to this. Yet, ¡°Hello, my boy.¡± Maggie steps closer, and god, she wants to hug me. Now, do I push her away? That is one thing that I have never let this old bag do, and that ise in close contact with me. But now I am kind of forced to, though the question begs? Do I call her mom? ¡°Hello, Maggie.¡± I only but step two steps back and watch as Ana grinds on her teeth. Ya, I need to do that goddamn hug thing with this woman that I cannot stand. So very reluctantly, I step closer again, and much to the shock of my father, I give her the shortest hug that Ana is going to squeeze out of me. Quickly passing Maggie, I go to my mom that is only smiling awkwardly, knowing that she wants to know what the hell is going on here, yet she does not say a word. But the moment I go to my father, he lifts his eyebrow, and not even bothering to be quiet about it, he raises his voice, ¡°Now, please exin to me why we had to bring this old hag with?¡± I watch as Ana can barely contain herughter, and with eyes that are begging, I look at her, ¡°Please boo, please can you exin to my parents why they had to bring this¡­ I mean Maggie along with them.¡± With that, I can see the wicked smile grow on my mother-inw¡¯s face, yes, indeed, they are wicked just as they are told to be, and this one is the wickedest of them all. So not even giving Ana a chance to speak, we watch in horror as Maggie casually turns around and say the words that are going to haunt my father for days, ¡°Ana is my daughter.¡± ¡°What!¡± My father¡¯s voice lights up the room and gets the attention of a passerby. My mother only but ps him on the shoulder, ¡°John, I think that we must have heard Maggie wrong. Maggie, can you repeat that again?¡± ¡°I said that Ana is my daughter.¡± ¡°Maggie, you are talking bullshit,¡± my father warns her as he steps closer to Ana, ¡°I cannot see how this sweet girl is rted to you.¡± ¡°John!¡± My mother stands with her hands in her hair, only shaking her head in total surprise. ¡°You told me that you had a daughter, but you never said that it was Ana. Why?¡± I take my mom gently by the hand and softly whisper for the nurses not to hear us, ¡°Mom, that is a long story. But all that matters is that Ana is safe now and that she can be reunited with¡­ Maggie.¡± ¡°Soldier!¡± My dad only stands in the corner with disbelief on his face, ¡°Don¡¯t expect me to invite you over for dinner. It was torture enough to have you in the car for so many hours.¡± ¡°Oh, John,¡± Maggie walks over to my father, ¡°We are family now.¡± He only cringes and moves away before Maggie can reach another inch towards that intended hug that she thought that she would receive. So standing inplete silence for only a few more minutes, my mom turns to me and shockingly looks at Maggie, ¡°Now where is our grandson.¡± And with that, theye wheeling him in again. The joy on my mom¡¯s face is something that I will remember for the rest of my days. My father has gone quiet, for I know that if he speaks that, he will burst out in tears of utter joy. Then it hits me, and I turn to Ana, ¡°Lucas?¡± Chapter 214 Pummelled By Life ¡­Ana POV¡­ They say that you can¡¯t push back a wave. Well, I am standing on the beach about to be pummelled. If I had known that day that I was going to break, I would have chosen differently. I could have prevented it all together; I would have. Through everything, I did the best that I could to stay alive. It was lurking in the darkness, just waiting to strike and make itself known. It took my dreams and left my life in pieces. It was like a shadow that clung to me every day. Apanion that I have had for years now. I fell so hard and so fast that I had to be hospitalized for a week. Type one, rapid cycling with moods congruent psychosis, which apparently is a devastating and severe form of Bipr Disorder. They told me that I had a mixed episode, which is dangerous. It has a tremendously high suicide risk, higher than a major depressive episode, which did exin a lot. Because when I decided to have a breakdown, I went all in. I can remember they said that I would be hospitalized again, and ya, for sure, I found myself there more frequently than I desired. I always wondered if this was just a tragic but necessary thing that I had to go through. Maybe in some ways, it was inevitable, with no one to me, for god knows I med Mark so many times. I was angry And I was mad. Then I thought that it was not his fault, but it was mine. But I had to remember what he did to me, he broke me to pieces, and it took someone else to pick me up. I kept falling backward. Every time I saw my medicine container, I grew such hatred for Mark. It was him; he is the one that has fucked up my life to such an extent that I have a handful of pills that are supposed to help me get rid of the baggage and scars that I live with. I was consumed by torment, I used to scream, but there was nothing. I had lost my voice, and I had lost my life. And it was because of Mark. At first, I was in denial. How can this happen to me? Ana, the spontaneous girl that loved and lived life. Now she was knocked back with mood swings that can leave her crippled at times. My life has be nothing but chaos and confusion. I had thought that if I just went back to Mark that it would all go back to normal.Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. I was resentful, and I was bitter. I could not even bring myself to speak his name. Then it dropped like a present on my doorstep only but a year after I had left him ¨C depression. At first, I thought I would be fine, but no, only but a monthter I was sitting in that little room, there was a woman with brown hair and an unkind gaze. And just for a moment, she softened and looked me in the eyes, ¡°My dear, I am sorry.¡± And that was the first time I ever heard that word in my life. And oh my god, did I feel it, for it had my body at attention. It pumped the adrenaline through my veins, but then it would take its grip on my body and leave me crying in terrible pain. I can¡¯t remember thest time I slept for eight hours straight. My mind is like a cinema, reying images from my past. After a couple of years, I thought that I would get over the pain and especially the hatred for Mark, but the more this illness got a grip on my life, the more I swore to myself that I would get my revenge. So through the years, when I was plotting every move that I made, I thought that I finally, at some point, got a hold, and I had this illness under control. Yes, it still left traces of anxiety and stress every day, but it also gave me resilience and strength. I can see the world in a way that many people can ever imagine. This is a world that I have never told Ethan about. But this world seems to want toe and threaten me again. Why do I feel so low and angry when I should be celebrating the birth of my child that I have been waiting for so many months? Why does it feel like I can explode and erupt again? I know I need to tell Ethan, but I can¡¯t. I have been hiding it from him so well, and do I dare even say that the episodes have not been so often in the year that we have been together. So what do I do? In a few days, I will be taking my child home, and in even less time than I realize, then Ethan will be gone. Do I tell him? Do I tell him that I have another person inside me that brews in here, waiting for the perfect moment to strike? She is the demon that brings depths of the deepest darkness inside awake in me. She chews at my mind and pounds at my heart, crippling me with nothing but fear. She sits and waits for anger to erupt; it is what she feeds on; it is what makes her alive. The more she gets what she needs, the more I lose the pieces that are the real part of me. Do I want Ethan to know that I am a monster? That I am crazy? So with all these thoughts eaten at my heart, I look at him sitting there watching our son and not taking his eyes off him for a single moment. But then, for that brief second, he turns and looks at me, ¡°Boo, are you okay?¡± Well, what do I say now? I really have to tell him, but it is harder than I think it would have been to just say the words to him. Will the demons go away if I tell him? Do I even tell him that they threaten toe back for a reason that I cannot exin? So I watch him get up from where he is sitting next to his mom and walk over to me with nothing but that gorgeous smile on his face. ¡°Boo, you don¡¯t look so well. Are you feeling okay? Must I get the Doctor?¡± ¡°No, soldier, I am okay. I think I just need some rest.¡± With that, he pulls me back into his embrace. I lock my arms around his neck and run my finger through his hair. There is a soft moan that escapes his lips as his lips seek mine, and as our breaths mingle, he pulls me further into his chest and starts to kiss me with so much raw passion. As he kisses me, my brain lights on fire, and the warmth spreads throughout my entire body. I am addicted to him. Is it something that I really want to mess up by springing something onto him that might not even happen? Yes, I have failed to keep my emotions intact sometimes, but what happens if I have to blow out? I owe it to Ethan. And I owe it to our son. So I look at him in those big brown eyes, ¡°Soldier, there is something that we need to talk about.¡± ¡°What is wrong, boo? Is there something wrong with Lucas? I saw you talking to the Doctor earlier on.¡± ¡°No, Lucas is fine. There is¡­ Well, it¡­ You know what? Why don¡¯t you go back and sit with your mom, and I will go get us some coffee.¡± He pulls me back into his arms and looks at me with nothing but questions in his eyes, ¡°What are you not telling me, boo?¡± ¡°Nothing, soldier, I think I guess I am just scared when we finally take Lucas home.¡± ¡°We will be fine, boo. And I promise you; I will not leave if there is something wrong.¡± ¡°Do you really mean that?¡± ¡°Of course, you and Lucas are more important to me than anything else in this world.¡± And with that, the tears start to tremble down my face. I cannot let him give us his dream of deploying again. I will not allow him to give up the things that he loves. Yes, that she is inside me, and she is waiting to erupt. Something has happened. Something has shifted, and I do not have her under control the way that I had before. But I cannot tell Ethan either. I cannot let him think that I am not a good mother to my child. Ethan can never find about this. He has not known for a year. I can hide it for as long as I can. Chapter 215 The Constant Secrets Ana is hiding something from me. She has not been herself, acting rather over-stressed and if I dare to even say it, but she is more edgy and moody than what she normally is. We are taking Lucas home tomorrow and I can honestly not wait. Though the enthusiasm with Ana seems to becking. I am putting it down to her only being nervous. But there is definitely something up with her. But putting that aside, we both have not had a decent night¡¯s rest for the past two weeks and from here on end it is not going to get any better. So while Maggie and my mom are looking after Lucas, Ana and me are going home for a much anticipated rest. With that, Ice my fingers in hers, and we make our way out of the room. Passing by my father, I only give him one nod, and we make our way down the stairs to the outside of the Hospital. It is with a slight bit of urgency that we find ourselves getting into the car and making the trip home in fair silence. As I look over at her, she gives me a shy smile; I feel like a fucking teenager about to have sex for the first time. And god, am I going to fuck the light into the day when I take this god of a woman to my bed. So with not wasting another single moment, we find our way home in little under twenty minutes. I lead her through the front door, and with an utmost force, I kick it shut behind me as my grabby little paws have found their way all over her tight ass. So it is in awe as I watch her make elegant strides as she ascends the stairs. She moves every curve to perfect precision; her hips rock from side to side, and it piques my arousal. I have to fight the desire to pull her back and take her right at this very moment It is as if an animal is awakened inside me; my only desire is to feel every inch of those supple breasts pressed into my hard muscled chest. So I push her back into the very wall behind her. She gasps at my bold move and answers me with a soft moan thates rolling over her lips. She slowly flicks just enough buttons open to slide that glorious fingers under my tight designer shirt. I shiver as she trails the tips over my rippled abs. Then she slips them between the seams of my pants; my body freezes in anticipation. I continue to press my leg gently between her own and slight part them; my growing erection is pushing hard into her thighs. My heartbeat is growing faster by the second, my body is burning, and an ever-increasing hunger is beginning to devour every part that wishes to please her. Then in an instant, my lipse crashing against her soft and sweet ones. It feels like an eternity that they have not been locked in a passionate kiss. And it is without hesitation that I slide my hands over her thighs and gently lift her legs and wrap them around my waist. And as I slide my hand further up her perfect curves, I let my fingers slide over the very part that I desire the most at this very moment. As we step into the room, I drop her down onto the soft satin sheets and watch as her body disappears between. My fingers roll over her soft thighs and her waist until it reaches the edges of her dress. Slowly I watch as her breasts pop over while I pull her dress down her waist and over her toned legs. In little than a second, she shreds my clothes, and much to her delight, ¡°Ethan, why are you not wearing any underwear?¡± ¡°I think it might have slipped my mind.¡± She only but chuckles rather nervously at me as I push her down onto the bed again. As my facees down, Iy my lips softly onto hers, and she softly moans. ¡°Boo, keep on doing that, and I am not going tost five minutes.¡± ¡°Oh, soldier, I don¡¯t see you being a five-minute man.¡± I sp her thighs and draw her closer; she arches her body into me, the fire between us twisting and burning, the passion is building, I so want to lose control. I move my lips against her; I want more, but more of which part of her I cannot say. If I only have her for tonight, then I want every single part I can. So I pull her even closer until there is no space left between trembling bodies; my warm fingers are grasping her waist. My lips brush against her. She tastes like sweet cotton candy; I can smell the scent of her perfume, her body is covered in hints of vani and honey. I want to pull away before I lose myself, but I can¡¯t; I hardly have a moment to react before she presses her tongue to the seams of my lips, and, at my grant of ess, she delves inside my mouth. It is like my senses have been seduced, and I can no longer think straight. Her touch sends warm ripples of shock through my body, thinning the air in my lungs. A weak gasp escapes me. With a fierce hold, I cup the back of her neck and kiss her deeply, gently, and possessive. My fingers twined in her hair, desperate to explore; I pulled her closer. With fierce and passionate strokes, her tongue entwines with mine. My brain lights on fire, and warmth spreads throughout my entire body. Even if I do not wish to admit it, I am addicted to this woman. I cannot bear being without her, and I can barely breathe when she is around. This woman in front of me will be my death, but it shall be a death I will happily die. Then I lean back, grab both her knees and press her thighs open, baring herpletely to my gaze. ¡°You¡¯re beautiful, boo.¡± With each word, I move to the edge of the bed, and without warning, I swing her onto myp. She gasps for air. I can feel her body tremble, and the wetness of her pussy is clinging to my legs. ¡°God, boo. I don¡¯t even have to touch, and you already feel so fucking wonderful.¡± In one brutal thrust, I sit her down on my hard length, filling her so suddenly that she cries out in shock. ¡°Fuck! Ethan. What happened to forey?¡± ¡°Boo, I told you I am not going tost five minutes with you.¡± She only but chuckles at me. My hand starts to roam over her back and her ass, on her breasts, rubbing against her nipples until they are hard and erect. My hands are everywhere. I dig my fingers deep into her ass and lift her up, and then I m into her as I drop her over my erection again. She is flying, she is spinning, as her pussy hops over my hard length. The hot wave of pleasure rolls over my body as she digs her nails into my shoulders, holding onto me when gravity ceases to exist. She gasps for air as I slip her over and drop her in one brutal thrust again. Clinging to me as her moans get more strained, she is kissing my neck and my face. With a whimpered breath, she pleads desperately, ¡°Ethan, fuck, just take me.¡± ¡°Ssshhh, boo, I have not even started yet.¡±Ccontent ? exclusive by N?/vel(D)ra/ma.Org. Then I lower my lips to that very spot at the back of her neck and scrape my teeth lightly against her skin. Then I slide my tongue over to her corbone. The sensations of her skin are sending sparks through my body. She cries out in agony as I bring my hand between our bucking bodies, pressing my thumb deep into her clit. ¡°God, boo, you are tight.¡± Sheces her fingers through my hair, holding on tightly as she starts to moan and squirm the harder I circle. Then suddenly, I stand up straight, grabbing her under her knees and raising her hips for deeper ess. My thrusts are ruthless as I m into her over and over. Our bodies p together. My cries grow louder, more desperate, as the pleasure mounts. I am on fire. I ache for release. I stop. She whimper. Wordlessly I flip her over, positioning her on her hands and knees in the middle of the bed. My light fingers trace a path down her spine. She shivers. Then I plunge into her, steadying her with hands gripping her hips. I remain still for a moment, filling her with my full hard erection until she wiggles against me, urging me on. I wrap her long hair around my fist and gently tug her head back, rising up to her knees to meet my mouth in a firm kiss. Finally, I release her, cing her hands back on the bed. Then m into her so hard she falls forward onto her elbows. I do it again and again, grunting with force. I rock harder, still buried deep inside her aching pussy. There is an ache that starts building in my hips. She curls her fingers into the sheets as she surrenders to all that I am doing to her. With a few more thrusts, my hips are working faster. In short, fierce strokes, I push us closer and closer until the pressure can no longer be controlled. Soon our breaths be moans, then our cries, then we experience the most exhrating release while we shatter in each other¡¯s arms. For a brief moment, everything else disappears. And as Iy down next to her still quivering body, I look in her eyes, ¡°Boo, what is going on?¡± She does not say a word, leaving me very frustrated that she is lying to me. So I slip from underneath the covers, ¡°Boo, I am just going past Ray quickly.¡± Chapter 216 The Monster Inside ¡­Ana POV¡­ I watch him as he is busy getting dressed. He is one of the sexiest men I have ever seen and probably the only one that I will ever be with. Ethan Hunter is definitely a price that any woman would love to have. So it is with nothing but that fucking gorgeous smile on his face that he leans over and ces his lips softly against mine, ¡°I need to go, boo.¡± As I take his lips for mine to taste, I only softly whisper, ¡°What time will you be backter?¡± He fumbles a bit, looking for the right words, ¡°I am going to be a bit busy with Ray, but I wille home as soon as I can.¡± I nibble at his bottom lip for thest time, ¡°Then I will see youter.¡± And with that, he takes that goddamn tight ass out the door, leaving me rather frustrated. Well, I can¡­ Let us rather think about this one. I will make my own appearance at Rayter, he just does not know that yet. So just before I head to the shower, I send off a quick message to Anna to meet me at my ce in an hour to get ready. I don¡¯t understand why Ethan has not asked me to go with him to the get-together as Ray tonight. Is he hiding something from me? Why does he not want me around? But I push this to the side as I hear Annaing through the front door and make her way to my room. ¡°Well, well.¡± She only but smiles as she takes a nce at the dress that is lying in front of me on the bed. ¡°Who is the lucky Mr. Hunter tonight?¡± So it is with that that I get into a tight red dress, the ones with the little strings on the side, the ones that I now used to drive Ethan mad. Slipping on my white stiletto boots, I give myself a once-over in the mirror. Much satisfied that I am going to make a few heads turn tonight, I turn to Anna. She only but gives me a thumbs up but then follows it with a warning, ¡°Are you sure you want to do this?¡± ¡°Anna, I need to get out.¡± With that, we make our way down to the car, and much against her better judgment, she lets me drive. As I m that pedal down to the floor and the engine starts vibrating, the adrenaline starts pumping like honey through my veins. I am on a high, and I know that it is going toe crashing down.N?velDrama.Org owns this text. Only but twenty minutester, we find ourselves exiting the car and striding the pavement like a bunch of fucking supermodels. It is not long before hees into sight¡­ There he is, the god, the man, there is Ethan Hunter¡­ And what else is he? It only takes one tick of a second¡­ That same adrenaline that I said will turn sour on me? Well, it has now turned into a fit of utter ming rage as I watch the man that ims that he loves me standing next to another woman. Now the question is¡­ What do I do about it? So I look at Anna next to me as she only drops her head, ¡°Anna, what must I do? I feel like going over there and ripping is goddamn dick off and stick it where she probably had it a few hours ago.¡± ¡°Ana, I think that you are over reacting. Let us just go home.¡± Well, that is not going to happen; I was merely asking for an opinion and not advice. So I move further into the crowd of Marines to make sure that I blend in. Anna only but shakes her head as she heads off to get drinks. How I would love to toss that drink, in fact, I want to toss my fist in the tramp¡¯s face, but I promised myself that I am not going to lose control But it is with slow, agonizing steps that I watch Ethan lead the drunk bitch to the bar as he leaves Ray and Gibbs behind. Fuck this! As Annaes towards me, she sees the determination in my eyes, and she knows, yet she tries, ¡°Ana, don¡¯t do it. You know this is only going to turn out bad.¡± ¡°Anna, the fucking asshole has his hands all over her.¡± ¡°Ana, please,¡± Anna pleads with me as she desperately tries to hold onto my hand. But I am far too quick and way too determined to set Ethan straight. So, I push past her. And as I get past Williams, I see him give me one rather worried look. I watch as he briefly nces up to where Ethan is supposed to stand, but the moment he sees that he is not there, he stands firmly in front of me, ¡°Ana, what is wrong?¡± I only grunt at him as I hiss at the top of my pitch, ¡°Get out of my way, Williams.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± he still tries to object as I push past him with so much force that he stumbles back and falls with one loud thud against a table. My temper has hit a re, and all I can see are stars flickering in my eyes. The world feels as if it has started to spin at an incredible speed. My body is trembling so goddamn bad that I can bare move my feet. Chaos is about to erupt, and I am going to be the center of it. And what else is center is Gibbs that sees meing towards him, it only takes him but two seconds, and he is in front of me, ¡°Ana, I did not know that you wereing.¡± I ramble off at him, hardly able to form a proper single word. ¡°The fucking bitch is going to pay.¡± And then I realize, but it is not just her, ¡°That goddamn asshole.¡± But Gibbs is not moving an inch, ¡°What are you talking about?¡± ¡°Your dear Lieutenant that fucks everything that walks.¡± I pause for a brief moment trying to catch my breath, ¡°It is not enough that he was screwing around with that bitch he killed.¡± ¡°Ana,e sit down.¡± He shows for me to take a seat next to him, and then he tries to be as polite as he posibily can, ¡°You are wrong about Ethan. He is not cheating on you.¡± Much to my relief, perhaps not, I hear the giggle of a womane up from behind me. Ya, it is Ethan¡­ So¡­ ¡°Ana?¡± ¡°Yes, Ethan. Bet you did not expect to see me here?¡± And to make things worse, the blonde is now casually hanging all over my man. Well, fuck that! Ethan watches in horror as I rise from my chair with a voice bouldering one curse word after the other while I make my way towards the blonde. It merely takes me one yank, and I have her by her fucking fake hair. She screeches like a mouse as I pull her away from Ethan that is only standing there with his jaw dropped to the floor. Then without having to think for another second, I retract my arm, and with a perfect bundle of knuckles, I crash my fist into her jaw. But wait¡­ I pull back¡­ And¡­ WHAM My fist connect with the bridge of her nose, I hear a slight crack as her head snaps back. Then as she raises her hand to cover her face, the blood starts trickling through her fingers. ¡°You fucking bitch,¡± she dares to turn to Ethan, ¡°Are you not going to do anything?¡± He lifts her ass that has nownded on the floor and pushes her towards Gibbs, who has finally decided it is a good time for him toe step in. But I am not done¡­ ¡°You! Me! Kitchen! Now!¡± Ethan reluctantly follows¡­ Once we step inside of the kitchen, I turn to him. ¡°What the fuck is going on here?¡± ¡°Boo¡­¡± I immediately raise my hand and smash the t of my hand into his cheek; his head snaps to the right. Completely out of my sense of control, I flip my hand and smack him even harder than before on the other side. ¡°Do not fucking call me boo!¡± ¡°Boo¡­¡± The minute those wordse from his mouth, I grab hold of the whiskey bottle that is standing on the edge of the table and smash it against the far side wall, barely just missing his head. ¡°Ana, please calm down.¡± ¡°Do not tell me to fucking calm down, Ethan. I asked you a question. Answer me.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know what you are talking about.¡± ¡°That is such bullshit. What the fuck is going on here.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t¡­¡± ¡°Please,¡± in aplete rampage, I clear every single content off the kitchen counter As it goes flying in every direction, there is a small ss that connects with the front of his head.¡± ¡°Ana, calm the fuck down!¡± ¡°Do not tell me to calm down when it is you that is whoring your ass around.¡± ¡°I am not!¡± ¡°I saw you with your hands all over her.¡± He looks at me surprised and tries to take my hand that is now bleeding from the broken whiskey ss. ¡°Ana, please.¡± I can see his eyes are pleading, yet there is something else¡­ Ethan is scared¡­ Is Ethan scared of me? I don¡¯t give a fuck. ¡°I don¡¯t want to see you again, Ethan.¡± ¡°Ana, what is wrong with you? Calm the fuck down. I am not cheating on you.¡± ¡°Then please exin to me who that woman is?¡± ¡°It is Gibbs¡­¡± And then I loseplete control of who I am, the demon that lies deep inside the darkness of me unleashes itself like a rapid ball of fire burning bright. My body is not mine anymore; it now belongs to the raging animal breaking loose with every inch of fiber in me. I can feel as the anger consumes me to such a level that my heart will stop from the adrenaline piercing through my veins. In utmost slow motion, as if I am hovering over my body and watching myself, I pick up one of the kitchen chairs with the greatest of ease. It takes me only one fling of my arms, and I drive the chair through the window. And with that, I spin around¡­ In only seconds I have Ethan rushing after me, ¡°Ana, wait!¡± Chapter 217 Unleashing The Beast ¡­Ana POV¡­ As my entire worldes crashing down in one ball of fire, I make my way bursting through the crowds that seem to have only but grown in the past five minutes. It feels like I am suffocating; I am slowly choking on the very breath that is supposed to keep me alive. I am dying inside, and god, it fucking hurts. I let my guard down for only one second. I am drowning in a pool of my own tears that is making their way down cheeks that are still burning from the rage that took over my body only but moments ago. I have never lost it like that before, I don¡¯t know what the fuck happened, but all I can say for sure is that not only did I scare the shit out of myself, but I did out of Ethan too. And it is that very Ethan that I hear short on my heels call out for me, ¡°Ana, wait!¡± But there is no waiting; it is not that I don¡¯t want to hear what he has got to say; I am so scared of what I might do to him. Until today, I know I have never harmed, but I have never lost my shit so bad that I attacked someone. So, against my better judgment, as I find myself lost between all the cars, I turn around and face Ethan that has finally caught up to me. ¡°Ethan,¡± I start to plead with him, ¡°Please, this is not the time. Not now. I can¡¯t do this with you now.¡± ¡°No,¡± I hear him raise his voice, ¡°I am not going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck happened in there?¡± ¡°Ethan, you don¡¯t,¡± the tearse crashing down even harder than they did before, ¡°Ethan, believe me, that you don¡¯t need this in your life.¡± Completely beyond my control, I step closer to him and beg for thefort that I know his arms will bring to me. ¡°Ethan, it is best that you just walk away.¡± ¡°No, Ana. What the fuck happened in there?¡± ¡°I can¡¯t.¡± I finally pull away from him again. ¡°I can¡¯t do this. Not now.¡± I watch him as he starts to scuffle away from me while he looks up at the skies. ¡°Ana, I cannot lose you. Tell me what is going on with you.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t Ethan,¡± Then I pause for a moment before I say something I know I would not want to do, yet, ¡°I cannot lose myself like I did in there. I cannot go back¡­¡± As I immediately stop from saying another word, I can see him lift his brows with nothing but question in his eyes, ¡°Go back where?¡± ¡°That is not important. I am going say this only once, for if I have to ever repeat it again, I think my heart will simply slice open in pieces.¡± I gently take his hand and rest it softly against my cheek; as Iy a gentle kiss against his palm, I softly, almost nearly to a silence, whisper to him, ¡°I love you, Ethan.¡± And if it thought that the noise from the crowd inside would have drowned my words, I am so sadly mistaken, for there is that goddamn gorgeous smile that is ying so freely at the corners of his mouth, and god, what a mouth I would love to take right now. But I am losing focus on what is supposed. ¡°Ethan, I am sorry for what happened in there. I was¡­ Fuck! I was so pissed at you. I did not want to hurt you; I had to find a way to get that pain out of my tormented heart. I could not keep her away. I tried to fight her the best I could.¡± He looks at me with his head slightly cocked to the right side, and as he clears his throat, he tries to reach out for me again. ¡°Who are you talking about?¡± Do I tell him? Do I tell him that I have another person inside me that brews in here, waiting for the perfect moment to strike? She is the demon that brings depths of the deepest darkness inside awake in me. She chews at my mind and pounds at my heart, crippling me with nothing but fear. She sits and waits for anger to erupt; it is what she feeds on; it is what makes her alive. The more she gets what she needs, the more I lose the pieces that are the real part of me. Do I want Ethan to know that I am a monster? That I am crazy? No. So with all these thoughts eaten at my heart, I look at him, ¡°I guess I lied, I am going to say it again. I love you.¡± ¡°Boo, please. We can work this through. I will do anything to keep you from turning your back and walking away.¡± ¡°Anything? Will you stop cheating?¡± ¡°Boo, I am not cheating on you. I told you that it is Gibbs¡¯s girlfriend. I beg you, god, I will go down in the mud and cry these goddamn tears that are threatening to erupt.¡± With that, he pulls me back into his embrace. Beyond my control, yet though with every desire, I lock my arms around his neck and run my finger through his hair. There is a soft moan that escapes his lips as he starts to nuzzle my neck with soft kisses. But they onlyst for a brief moment, for his lips seek mine, and as our breaths mingle, he pulls me further into his chest and starts to kiss me with so much raw passion. As he kisses me, my brain lights on fire, and the warmth spreads throughout my entire body. With only but a whimpers breath, ¡°God, Ethan. I am so sorry.¡± Then he pulls away from me for only but a brief while and looks deep into my eyes, ¡°Ana, I need for you to tell me what is going on. I have never seen you get so mad in all the time that we have been together. Ya, there is the asionalmp or cup thates flying past, but boo, you hit that woman for no reason at all.¡± ¡°Ethan, I¡­ I promise you that I am okay. I was just so mad seeing you with another woman.¡± ¡°Ana, you are not telling me the truth. I know when you are hiding something from me, and right now, you are hiding a whole damn lot.¡± With that, I pull awaypletely from his embrace and step back to meet his eyes again, ¡°Ethan, there is nothing to say.¡± Then out of pure frustration, I hear as he starts to raise his voice at me, ¡°Ana, you are fucking lying to me. Our child ising home tomorrow, and I cannot have you throwing goddamn chairs around. You either tell me what the fuck¡­¡± ¡°Or what the fuck what? Do not test my patience, Ethan.¡± ¡°Yes, because we both know that it appears to be something that you do not have. Now you either tell me or go the fuck home and think about what you had done here tonight.¡± He pauses for a brief moment as he nces over to where Ray is busy cleaning up my mess. Then he continues, ¡°You did not only embarrass yourself, but you embarrassed me. What the fuck must these people think about you and our marriage?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t give a fuck what other people think, Ethan. In fact, I do not give a fuck what you think either.¡± He only snaps at me as he shakes his head, ¡°Oh, that is really mature, Ana. Now I am not asking you to tell me what the fuck is wrong with you, and do not give me the bullshit that you are upset that you saw me with another woman when you know that I will not fucking cheat on you.¡± ¡°And like I told you, Ethan, there is nothing wrong with me.¡± ¡°Yes, and I am supposed to believe that,¡± then he takes my hands in his, ¡°Why are you shaking like this then. I can see that look in your eyes slowly starting to build from the darkness that you seem to have within you. What are you hiding from me?¡±Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. And that is me. Before I can stop myself, I lift the t of my hand to his face and p him with such force that his head snaps to the left. The moment he utters, ¡°What the fuck, Ana.¡± I know that I have stepped over that line again. With great disappointment in his eyes, he only but shakes his head at me, ¡°Please go home; I do not want to be around you right now. And count on me sleeping in the guest room. If you cannot be mature and tell me what your problem is so that I can help you, then I quite frankly do not want to be anywhere near you for god, I have never lifted a hand to you, but to you, it seems toe so easily.¡± And as he turns away and walks off, he looks over his shoulder for thest time, ¡°I don¡¯t know who you are, Ana, but I hope you sort that out before Lucases home tomorrow.¡± Then he disappears between the crowd, leaving me with a heart that is raging out of control, yet a mind that tells me to rather go back home than chase after him and tell him exactly where the fuck to get off. I have really fucked up this time. Chapter 218 The Honeymoon Is Over I guess at some stage in every marriage, the honeymoon phase bes over. Well, that has now officially happened with Ana and me. Now, if I say that we want to kill each other, then that is a slight understatement. We cannot be in the same room for longer than a few minutes before heading out into an argument. Ana has bepletely unbearable to be around. And after her stunt at Ray, her behavior ispletely irrational. This morning I am trying to sneak out of the guest room, which has now been my new room for what is now the second night in a row. We brought Lucas home yesterday, and I can tell you that I have never been so happy in my life to have him finally where he belongs. Although I have had to sneak in moments to spend time with him, Ana has been doing her level best to keep him from me. I am writing it off to her wanting to spend time with him and rather not think that she is trying to keep him from me. So this morning, I am trying to get out of the house before she sees me start yet another fight over something that I have not done or, even worse, that I have forgotten about. So after having a shower, which, unfortunately, I cannot do in silence, I quickly get dressed, and after giving Lucas a kiss on his soft little cheek, I make my way towards the front door. The moment I step myst step towards the door, I near jump as I hear her voiceing from behind. ¡°Where do you think you are sneaking off to, Ethan?¡± ¡°Morning to you too, Ana. And I am going to Ray. As you know, we are deploying in a week.¡± She looks me up and down as if she is totally disgusted by my appearance, then she starts with her stupid remarks again, ¡°Dressing up for your little whore.¡± ¡°God, Ana.¡± I throw my hands up in the air. ¡°I have told you that is it Gibbs¡¯s girlfriend. I mean, really, you are looking for an argument now.¡± She goes silent, and I know she is trying to find something else to give me hell about, ¡°What time are you going to be home?¡± ¡°When I am done, Ana.¡± I pause for a moment knowing full well I am going to stay there as long as I possibly can. ¡°Well,¡± she starts. ¡°You need to finish putting that wardrobe together for Lucas¡¯s clothes.¡± I shake my head at her in shock, ¡°When I tried doing that yesterday, you told me I am useless and that I do not know what I am doing. Do you remember that?¡± She shakes her head inplete denial. I need to stop myself from gasping in shock, ¡°You still threw me out of the room and told me that you would get someone else to do it. So guess what?¡± ¡°No,¡± she huffs and folds her arms in front of her chest. ¡°Get someone else to do it. I really do not have time for your childish behavior. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go to.¡± She still mumbles something underneath her breath, and I only but re at her; it takes all my willpower not to blow off at her for acting the way that she is. She thinks that I have not been hearing how she speaks to Anna about me on the phone. What did she say again? I am that deadbeat Marine. Well, this deadbeat Marine is very close to walking out the door. As I drive to Ray, I put the music as loud as I can to stop the thoughts from running circles in my head. I am so tired of thinking of what it is that I have done wrong that our marriage turned so sour so quickly. One day, we were still in love, and the next, we could not stand being in the same room. It is like something has snapped in her. After a long slow drive, I finally stop in the driveway at Ray. When I walk through the door, he only takes one look at me, ¡°You and Ana fighting again?¡± ¡°Fuck, it has not stopped Ray. I did not sign up for this. If this is what marriage is going to be like, then I do not want to be married at all.¡± Ray smiles and rests his hand on my shoulder, ¡°It is just a phase; she will get over it.¡± ¡°Nah,¡± I shake my head at him. ¡°I don¡¯t think this is a phase. This is,¡± I pause for a brief moment. ¡°This is something else. Ana has changed. I do not know who that person is back at home.¡± ¡°But you said she was different, Ethan?¡± ¡°That I thought so to Ray. Fuck, she is using me of having an affair with Gibbs¡¯s girlfriend.¡± Ray cannot help but burst outughing, ¡°Gibbs¡¯s ex-girlfriend.¡± ¡°That exact one. Ana has gone insane. I understand the hormone thing, but this is ridiculous. I am sleeping in the damn guest room for two nights already.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns this text. I watch as the concern grows on Ray¡¯s face. He has seen me go through every emotion in my life before, and he has been there for all the shit I had to carry. He knows my frustration, and he knows that, well, he knows. ¡°Ray, I don¡¯t think I can be married to Ana.¡± Ray is taken aback by myment, but not truly, for he knew that it was about toe. I am truly honest with myself. If Ana is going to continue to act this way, then I am afraid that I am not going to stay. I will be the best father that one can be, but I cannot stay with a woman if we cannot see eye to eye. Yes, I hate being a failure, especially in something so sacred as a marriage. But I am not a man that is going to allow a woman to make me feel like nothing and treat me even just as bad. And with that very thought, my phone lights up with Ana¡¯s name. In an instant, my mood boils over, and I swipe up to answer. I do not give Ana one inch of a second before she can speak, ¡°What do you want, Ana?¡± ¡°Where are you, Ethan?¡± I take a deep breath before I lose my mindpletely and calmly speak to her again, ¡°What can I do for you, Ana? I am busy with Ray.¡± ¡°I just wanted to let you know that you don¡¯t need to worry about the wardrobe; Anna said she woulde to help me to do it since you are toozy to do it yourself.¡± ¡°My god, did you just say that? Did you just tell me I am toozy to put up my child¡¯s wardrobe?¡± ¡°Well,¡± I hear her huff again, ¡°If you were not, then you would have done it a long time ago. Now, what time are you going to be home?¡± ¡°I have told you that I will be back once I am done. Now you are wasting my time; Ray and the guys are waiting for me. So, goodbye, Ana.¡± With that, much to a very shocked Ray, I put the phone down on her. But wait¡­ Ana has now phoned Ray, and he is only but stretching his arm out to me, ¡°Ethan, it is your wife again.¡± I do not even give her a moment to speak, and I hear Ana yelling at me through the other end. ¡°Did you just put the phone down in my ear, Ethan?¡± ¡°Yes, Ana, I did. I told you I am busy, and you are wasting my time.¡± ¡°Oh, really, wasting your time. Do not let me get started on who is really wasting whose time here.¡± ¡°Well,¡± I snap at her. ¡°If I am wasting your time, then perhaps do not phone me constantly?¡± ¡°You know what, Ethan.¡± ¡°No, but I bet you are going to tell me, Ana.¡± I listen as she is breathing heavily and working herself up to a frenzy which ispletely unnecessary. It is as if the woman has grown to hate mepletely. I don¡¯t know who my wife is anymore. I don¡¯t know who Ana is anymore. So I patiently wait for her, ¡°Tell me what, Ana.¡± ¡°I regret ever meeting you, Ethan.¡± ¡°Well, I am d that we have cleared the air, now can you stop phoning me because I am busy.¡± ¡°Yes, you are too busy to be with your son.¡± ¡°Ana, that shit is not going to fly with me. Every time I want to pick up Lucas, you take him out of my arms.¡± ¡°Yes, because you have no idea what you are doing when ites to children.¡± ¡°Then you have no idea what you are doing when ites to marriage. I am done with you. Do not phone me again.¡± With that, I drop the call and silently mourn the end of my marriage. I am done with Ana. She has gone crazy. Chapter 219 The End Of Us I have moved out into the guest room permanently. Things in the Hunter household have gone from tense to nothing at all. Ana and I barely talk to each other, and when we do, we find ourselves in an argument. I have stopped counting the number of stupid things that we fight over. Ana has gonepletely insane, and I mean that in the nicest of ways. She is working herself up to a frenzy every day. She is going on like aplete lunatic. I have found any and every reason to be at Ray these days, and of course, I am having an affair with Gibbs¡¯s ex-girlfriend. Well, if I wanted to have an affair, I would have had it with Ray¡¯s wife long ago. What is going through Ana¡¯s head that I do not know? At this stage, I do not want to be around her anymore. If it were not for Lucas, I would¡­ya, let us not go there yet. So this morning, as I am trying to sneak in a quick coffee before I leave, I hear hering from Lucas¡¯s room. Fuck, now, I have nowhere to go. If I run past her with the coffee, it is going to end in an argument; if I stay, it is going to end up in an argument. Guess I will try to have the coffee hopefully in peace this morning. As shees to stand next to the fridge, she has aplete expressionless look on her face, ¡°Oh. You are here.¡± ¡°I am leaving soon,¡± I try my best not to snap back at her for being so short and rude. ¡°Are you going to be sote again tonight?¡± ¡°Yes, Ana, I probably am.¡± ¡°You might as well just sleep at Ray.¡± Well, I thought we were going to have a civilized conversation, guess not. So I just swallow my words and keep my mouth shut. ¡°Ethan, I am talking to you.¡± ¡°No, Ana,¡± I turn away from her so she can not see the irritation in my face. ¡°You are not talking; you are fighting. All you fucking dotely is fight. What is wrong with you?¡± ¡°Oh,¡± she finally snaps at me. ¡°What is wrong with me? You. You are what is wrong with me.¡± She ms her cup down the counter, with coffee flying everywhere over the floor. ¡°See,¡± I point down to her mess, ¡°You have gone¡­¡± perhaps I should not say that but instead, ¡°What has happened to you, Ana?¡± ¡°Nothing,¡± she yells at me as she tries to bend over to clean up her mess. ¡°Like absolutely nothing is happening between us.¡± I bend down and take the rag from her hand to clean up the floor, she tries to protest, but I only ignore her. She looks at me, and I can say, almost for a second, like the old Ana used to look at me. But ya, that ispletely short-lived. So before it can blow uppletely, I rinse my cup, for if I did not, I would be dead, and I leave the kitchen. From behind me, I hear her shouting after me, ¡°Are you not saying goodbye.¡± I turn around and look at her inplete surprise. What does she want from me now? A kiss, a hug? I only shake my head, ¡°Bye, Ana. I will trye home early.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t bother.¡± And that is me, ¡°For fuck sakes.¡± She gasps in shock at my outburst and then softly mumbles under her breath, ¡°Bye, Ethan, I will see youter.¡± ¡°Now, was that so difficult.¡± But yes, the moment of peace is short-lived, ¡°Difficult? Whom do you think you are talking to? I am not difficult.¡± Not saying another word, I leave the house, hoping not toe back here for hours. The moment I am in my car, the tears that have threatened to burst like a waterfall down my cheekse running down in force. I cannot do this anymore. So with screeching tires, I leave the driveway, knowing that in just about a second, I will get a call asking me if that was necessary. Well, I just ignore it like I ignore all her calls that I will get through the entire day. As I get to Ray, he and Gibbs are already waiting for me outside. But yet before I get out of the car, I see my phone light up. Ana.Ccontent ? exclusive by N?/vel(D)ra/ma.Org. With somewhat trembling fingers, I swipe up. ¡°Yes, Ana.¡± I immediately pull the phone away from my ear; as she has started screaming. Ya, I knew that she would have something to say about the way that I left the driveway. Why the fuck I pick up the phone, that I do not know. I am doomed if I do, and I am even worse off when I don¡¯t. So I patiently wait for her to calm down to a respectable level, but then next, she hits me, ¡°Don¡¯t bothering home.¡± I hear her snap at me with absolute hate in her voice. ¡°Lucas and I do not need you.¡± ¡°Ana, what are you trying to tell me?¡± I gather my breath and try to cool my rising temper, but yet, ¡°That is my child. Do not test my patience, I promise; keep me away from Lucas; you think your attitude sucks right now, well wait until you see mine.¡± She remains silent as she is registering each word, which truly dide out as a threat, and of course, ¡°Do not threaten me, Ethan.¡± ¡°I am not threatening you, Ana.¡± I turn around and throw my hands in the air. ¡°What the fuck is wrong with you? What is it that I did? You were fine one day, then the next you changedpletely.¡± ¡°Maybe you should have asked then.¡± I grind on my teeth, and out ofplete fury, I smash my hand onto the roof of the car. ¡°I have been asking you every single fucking day, and all you do is fight with me.¡± I remain quiet for a few moments to catch my breath, then I continue, ¡°Does it not bother you that we are we are fighting like this?¡± ¡°You the one that started it, Ethan.¡± ¡°My god! Listen to yourself. You might be used to your parents fighting every fucking day, but me, I am not. I won¡¯t sit and let you abuse me like this.¡± ¡°Well,¡± she yells at me at the top of her voice, ¡°Maybe you should not have chased after me in the first ce.¡± And that is me. I have had enough of her. I drop the call and head towards where Ray has been standing. ¡°Hey, Tina. Sorry about that. But that is how it has been for a while now.¡± ¡°Ethan,¡± Ray puts his hand gently on my shoulder. ¡°I am so sorry that you have to go through this. This is not Ana. She would never act this way.¡± ¡°Well, this is Ana now. I cannot be around her when she is like this. She, I don¡¯t even want to say, but she has be a lunatic.¡± Ray still shakes her head, ¡°Something else is wrong. There must be something.¡± ¡°Ray, I don¡¯t know what can be so wrong with her to act this way. I fear for what will happen if she has to¡­¡± I pause for a moment and think about what I am about to say, yet, ¡°God, Ray. I don¡¯t even want to think of it¡­ What happens is she really loses it?¡± ¡°What are you saying, Ethan?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know what I am saying, Ray. I think that Ana needs to go find help. But ya, good luck to the one that tries to get her there. As for me¡­ Well, she just seems to fucking hate more and more every day.¡± ¡°She does not hate you. I just think that she is feeling the pressure of being a new mother.¡± ¡°Ray, if I look back now, this has alwaysid in the background. Ana has always been irrational and needs I even mention with somewhat of a temper.¡± ¡°Ethan, just let her find her feet.¡± ¡°There is nothing to find, Ray. She is not my wife, and I am sorry.¡± And with that Ray, leads me inside, for he knows that right now I am furious and that he will not win this conversation. He knows that I don¡¯te from a family where my parents had arguments. I am not used to things like this. My rtionships with a woman might have neversted so long, but I have never had to experience this constant fighting in my life. It is not how I was raised, and it is not who I am. I can honestly say that this is not the way that I wish to live my life. And this is not how I want to raise Lucas. I do not want to raise my child with parents that are constantly fighting. So as I sit down in the lounge next to Gibbs, he only but cocks his head and rest an arm around my shoulders, ¡°What is eating you up, Ethan?¡± ¡°Gibbs, I think that Ana and I should separate.¡± Chapter 220 Your Final Mistake Driving home in dead silence with the rain pounding down on the car, my thoughts are taken back to what happened earlier tonight. She can make up any excuse no matter how goddamnme; it will still not make up for the way I broke her heart. I can honestly say that at this very present moment, I feel what is probably my heart being sliced open and ripped to shreds. The pain is suffocating; it squeezes every breath of air from my lungs. There is nothing else I want to do now but cry. Ana has brought me down. But in all of my time as a Marine, I have never seen anyone crash and burn the way she did. It is not Ana; it is not who she is. Let alone lose her temper the way that she has been doing. Is this what I have done to her? Did Ipletely break her? What have I done? What the fuck have I done to her? But in the same breath. What the fuck has she done to me! Maybe I am not the man that she needs in her life. Maybe she is not the woman that I need in mine. So wiping my mind away from all the bad that is chasing me, I find myself finally pulling up in the driveway. It seems to be pitch ck. I am sure that she is probably fast asleep. And let us not forget that I aming home farter than I said that I would. But fuck, I cannot stand being around the woman at this present time. I am most definitely thest man that she wants to see now. Yes, I am fully expecting a raging argument. Making my way up to the front door of the home that we are supposed to share feels like the longest walk I have ever taken in my life. My knees are weak and reluctant to make the path to the front door. It hurts every time I think of what our marriage hase to. Wanting to go into this house is something that I truly do not wish to do. That part that makes me a man, that goddamn ego that is as big as life, is the only thing that wants me to turn around and head back to the car. But I force myself. The moment that I slip the key into the lock, I remind myself that it cannot be as bad as it was this morning. I doubt that I will be received with weing arms. I can see it now; it is clear in my head, I will look a woman in the eyes that are about to w out mine. There will be that anger that boiled over from earlier on and even worse than before. So as I slide through the door as quietly as I can, I slip off my shoes and get rid of my shirt. Slowly made my way to the guestroom. But before I make my way into the room, I sneak into Lucas¡¯s room to give him a kiss on the cheek. But as I wait for my eyes to adjust to the dark, as I lean over into the crib¡­ Lucas is not there. I flip the switch, the lightse on, but I find his crib is empty. With nervousness creeping up my spine, I find my way in the darkness to Ana¡¯s room. Slowly, without really caring, I flip the switch to her bedroom lights. As it flickers to light, I am shocked¡­Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. Ana is not here¡­ I immediately rush to the rest of the house, searching each room in haste; I find itpletely empty as well. Ana is definitely not around¡­ There is a force that takes hold of my heart and starts pulling at it in every direction. I feel as if I am about to explode into millions of scattered pieces which is swept by an icy wind into a dark abyss. Those tears that have been threatening to surface start to trickle down like little pearls. As I rush back to the room in aplete state of panic and confusion, I grab my phone. With tremble fingers that are soaked from my tormented tears, I flip the screen up and dial Ana¡¯s number. ¡°Fuck!¡± There is a chill that runs down my spine as there is nothing but silence on the other side. The phone is dead¡­ Ana is gone¡­ Then that is when it catches my eye; in the kitchen, on top of the counter, there is a white envelope. As I take it in my hands, I can see my name is neatly written on it in her very own handwriting. The tears start flowing freely as the sobs take hold of what was left of my restraint. With trembling lips, I pull the white paper from the envelope. Slowly unfolding it, my heart breaks, and it breaks with a grand explosion. With unsteady knees, I sit back onto the bed and softly speak as I start to read, ¡°Ethan, I could¡¯ve never imagined this would¡¯ve happened. I would have never thought that you could possiblydo me so wrong that I physically felt too sick to my stomach to even stand up. I should put all the me on you; meanwhile, part of me wants to me myself. Why did I ever let you in? Why did I ever open up to you? Why did I let you see every part of me that you never even deserved to see? Why did I feel safe trusting you? Why did I let you have so much control over my life and my well-being? I don¡¯t get it. I don¡¯t get you. You know, it¡¯s kind of funny; at times like this, I would be crying, but in this case, I think I¡¯m just too overwhelmed to just express one emotion at a time. I think overall, I can say I¡¯m furious. Furious at the fact that you thought it was okay just to break my heart. Furious at the fact that you took advantage of all my love for you. Furious at the fact that you think you can walk into my life when it¡¯s convenient foryou. But the most furious at the fact that you, unfortunately, know me. That I could never take back, along with every spot on my body, you¡¯ve everid a finger on. You made me look foolish to everybody, not only tonight but all the times before as well. I never knew what true heartbreak was until you came along and showed me firsthand. I¡¯ve been lied to, taken as a joke, and been fucking cheated on with no exnation at all, and I¡¯m still trying to see the best in you. Still trying to figure out what made you want to tear me apart. Why? I¡¯m still trying to love like I¡¯ve never been hurt. Why? That says a lot about my character, and what you put me through says a lot about yours. I don¡¯t think there willeverbe a time where I will forgive you and what you have done. All the damage you have done to me mentally. Making me break down my mind, body, and soul. Not giving a fuck about my own well-being. An apology will never do it. I hope hurting me was worth it. I hope losing me was worth it. I hope that whore you fucked at Ray was worth it. I hope my name tastes like poison when ites out of your mouth and your heart stings when you hear it. In the end, I hope everything you put me through was well worth it. Because I¡¯ve slipped right through your grip, and you will never get me back. The girl who has nothing but self-love and confidence when she wakes up in the morning. That now, even though it took a long time, she realizes her worth and will never let anybody take advantage or walk all over her ever again. It is a shame you didn¡¯t appreciate what you had until it was gone.¡± What the fuck is she on about? How many times do I need to tell her that I did not cheat on her? But to go as far as saying that I am the one that has ruined her. Where does shee up with that? But putting that all aside, I don¡¯t care that she thinks that I have been her undoing, but what I do care about is that she has fucking taken my son with her. I told her very in bluntly that she should not even consider trying to keep Lucas from me. Well, it seems that she did not take well to my warning. She has overstepped a line that I am afraid cannot be taken back. She has now made me the worst type of man. She has taken my child, and for that, she will pay. Chapter 221 Raging In My Heart ¡­Ana POV¡­ By now, the hurt in his heart must be raging. As for the hurt in my heart, it is still burning out of control. I have not for one second let go of how angry I am at him. It has consumed every single fiber in me, and it still has not let go. I am growing closer and closer to the edge, and god, when I get there, I am going to crash and burn. My emotions are out of sync, and my mind is ying tricks on me. I have surrendered control over my demons the moment he had drop that call on me, and it still has a firm grip on me. If I don¡¯t find myself between all the darkness soon, then I fear that I am going to be lost. And lost is what I feel. I will be very honest with myself; I am not as happy as I thought I would be. My emotions are mixed. There are moments when I feel guilt and then get those moments where the hints of joy are far greater than regret. Yes, I feel regret. What else do I feel¡­ I feel fucking hurt. It hurts. I have sat here and wondered if I made him cry? If I did, and that is when I feel this incredible guilt. But look what he did to me! I can pretend that I am okay, but I am not. And I am so not okay; if I do not let go of this anger, then I am going to end up in thest ce I ever want to be. And that was not part of the n. What else was not part of the n is the sorry that is haunting my eyes. I keep telling myself to hand it in there. I need to be strong. Not for Ethan, but only for me. Yes, I need to ept that life is full of shit and that things like this will happen. It does not get better as time passes; you just need to learn how to deal with it. There will be a time, and god, let us hope that it will only be Ethan, but what I need to remind myself is that somewhere along the line, someone will betray you. And that is more than okay because how else could I learn to be strong if I don¡¯t go through so many different challenges in my life. Things like this need to happen to make you stronger, yes it is fucked up, and it goddamn hurts, but you need to show yourself that you can be strong and that you can fight anything. Anything like the whore that Ethan fucked. Now that is something that I am not proud of, but yet I am still chuckling at it every now and again. I am sure that Ethan is by now wondering what came over me. He knows from a year ago that I am as calm as the sea, well, the parts where the waves are not crashing. Now, today, I am the wave that crashes against the rocks. And that he knows now. Ethan has turned me into an animal. If he only did not cheat on me! But as they say that this is a test, one more experience that I need to go through in order to make myselfplete. The fucked up thing is that I had to go through it twice, once with Mark and now with Ethan for a second time around. There is no excuse for what he has done to me. He has made me experience all the wrong things in life. Well, I cannot feelplete if I do not experience both good and bad things. I can say that after all the shit that he put me through, the pain, I can now say that I am standing firmly on my feet. But god, I wish, that things did not turn out this way. I honestly felt that things were different this time. I could feel he was a different man, just not the part where he screws anything that walks past him. I feel that I should just let it go¡­ So what? He cheated on you again. Just let it go. Yes, perhaps he is not the one for me, but why am I feeling that he is. I feel desperate and broken. Okay, so he disappointed me, but why should I hold onto a grudge. Look what it has got me¡­ Bipr. How is Ethan going to feel when he finds out? Is he still going to want to be with me? I feel that somehow that he would. So why am I sitting in this Hotel room feeling bitter and mad at him? Because he fucking cheated Ana! I need to have more respect for myself. I am much more than I am making myself out to be. I am above this. I am above my problems. I am above the Bipr. I just need to believe that. I need to believe in myself. It is time that I do things right. Forget about Ethan Hunter now. But as I put my hand on my heart, yes, what do I feel? Is it still beating? Hell yeah! So he broke my heart, but a heart can endure so much more than a shitty, dishonest boyfriend. But wait! When did Ethan be my boyfriend again? We were just having casual sex, and all of a sudden, we were back where we were all those years ago. I just epted that he was mine on asion and that I belonged to him. Yes, I belong to Ethan, and I think no matter what I do, I always will. But he does not deserve me! Ethan deserves those whores that he fucks so randomly. But what does it make me? I fell straight back into his bed less than a week after speaking to him the first time again. How can I judge the woman that surrounds him then? But Ethan will never but more than once with one of those tramps. Does it mean that because he kepting back to me that he actually does care? I don¡¯t know¡­ All I know is that I cannot take it anymore. I need to let go of this anger. Fuck, Ana, just cry. Get drunk. Destroy something. But let all the pain and anger go out. I know that if I do not do something, I am going to explode. I am not going to handle my shit, and I will crash and burn. I cannot let myself break into pieces so small that I cannot be glued back together anymore. I have a choice. I can choose life, choose myself, or pick up this phone and phone someone that I know will be there. Perhaps one should not give up the good things that are there in your life, even though sometimes ites with the bad. I need to ept that things are just going to be the way they are supposed to be. All I know is that I need to pick up my head and put a smile on my face. And decide. Ccontent ? exclusive by N?/vel(D)ra/ma.Org. Am I going to let Ethane fetch me and continue with a toxic rtionship, or do I phone Savanah toe to save me from myself? I know that if I go home now that Ethan will still be there waiting for me. He is stubborn like that; that is what I love about him the most. He never gives up until he gets what he wants. That is why he is the most feared fucking Boss around. Ya, I just said that I love him. And it is the truth, after all these years that love that I felt for him, that love is still there. It was always hiding behind the anger; I guess perhaps my n for revenge was just my excuse to see him again. I could have forgotten about him and moved on with my life, but I never did. So, I will say it again¡­ I love Ethan. But sometimes, you need to let go of the things you love the most because they are not good for you. God knows that Ethan and I are not good for each other; we are like hotva and flowing next to a stream of water. If we step one foot wrong, we destroy each other. Do I want to be destroyed? I don¡¯t know¡­ So, I have made my choice as I decide to pick up my phone¡­ Chapter 222 Displeasure Of Your Voice Well¡­ Who would have ever thought I would pick up the phone to the voice that ising from the other side. For a second, I was not going to as I did not recognize the numbering through. But yet I am, which is debatable if I am strangely happy or extremely annoyed. So without torturing myself any further, I decide to speak and just remain in silence, ¡°To what do I owe this displeasure?¡± There is only but a stuttering that ising through; then, after what seems like a good long minute, there is an answer, ¡°Ethan, can we talk?¡± ¡°What makes you think that I want to talk to you? You have taken my son and fucked off; now I am warning you, Ana, you better have him back within the next hour.¡± ¡°Ethan, I did not phone you to argue; there is something that we need to talk about.¡± ¡°Cut the shit, Ana. I want my son back home. I told you not to fuck with me. Now I am giving you an hour, do you understand me? I am fucking tired of your shit.¡± ¡°Oh, are you calling me shit now?¡± ¡°Ana, take it up any way that you want to, but I am warning you again, do not fuck with me.¡± I pause for a brief moment to gain the edges of my restraint before Ipletely snap at her. ¡°This is thest time that I am telling you. Where are you? I want my son.¡± ¡°Ethan, stop being an ass.¡± ¡°Oh, really. You have not seen an ass yet.¡± But then she hits me with the very grim reminder of the whole situation, ¡°Can we just drop our failed marriage, and can you listen to me?¡± ¡°First of all, it was failed on your side,¡± Then I pause for a brief moment, ¡°Second, can you ask fucking please.¡± She only but grunts at me, ¡°Ugh, why do you have to be so impossible?¡± ¡°Because, unlike you, my heart is broken.¡± ¡°Ethan, you know that we were never going tost. You knew that we were always failed from the start.¡± ¡°God, are you really so thick, or do you just choose to forget? I guess that I was the only one who fell in love, but you, you never felt a fucking single thing. Now, now you want me to forget about a marriage that meant everything to me, and you just want to talk? What the fuck is there left to talk about then?¡± She snaps at me again, ¡°Then leave it if you are not willing to listen to me.¡± ¡°That is not what I said, Ana. You always just hear what it is that you want to hear. You know what I havee to realize thesest few days while I wallowed in my own goddamn misery?¡± ¡°No, and I don¡¯t know why we have to discuss this again?¡± ¡°Because I want you to listen until it sinks into your fucking head. I have always loved you, fuck I think I even loved you from the start, but you just gave no fucking thing at all. But I let you in whenever you needed or wanted me to be there. I should not have, but I did. I knew that the first time you left me that I should not run back to hold on to something that I knew will, yes, in fact, never work.¡± I pause for a breath moment as I listen to the irritation in her breathing begin to rise, yet I do not give a shit. For I only continue, ¡°I chose to be with you not because I was desperate because something in me could never stop caring and loving for you or even more, that I needed you. Yes, I needed you; I needed you to love me.¡± ¡°Ethan, do we have to do this?¡± ¡°My god, I cannot actually believe that you just said that, now if you could just admit that you did never love me, you know, perhaps I will and can continue with my life. But I know that will never happen. So let us put this into perspective. You need to talk? Well, the only thing that I am talking to you about is that you need to bring my son home before this turns out fucking ugly. Ana, do not test my patience.¡± Then she knocks mepletely out of the park, ¡°Can we not just not separate for a while until I know what it is that I want to do?¡± ¡°What?¡± My voice echoes to every crevice in the lounge as I try to remain calm and not tell her what exactly I think of her at the very present time. Yet, ¡°Ana, bring my son home, and then we can discuss this separation like to adults where you are not hiding on the other side of a line.¡± But wait¡­N?velDrama.Org owns this text. Why the fuck am I still on this call? I should have phoned Pendle Police a long damn time ago. I do not even know why I am trying to talk sense into a woman that by all proven facts, just does not seem to care! Yet, she continues, ¡°Please, Ethan, can we not just talk without this getting out of hand.¡± Ya, I don¡¯t think so, my dear. She has me in tatters. Best, it is time to end this now, before I tell her the rest of which I truly want to tell her. ¡°I don¡¯t think that will work out for me; the less bullshit that I heare from out your mouth, the far better it would be for my heart. Now, if there is one thing that I hate, then that is me having to repeat myself a hundred times. This is your final warning, Ana; before I hand this over to the authorities, you need to bring Lucas back home. I don¡¯t give a fuck if you sleep in the lounge or in your room, but I want my child where I can see him.¡± ¡°But, Ethan, can we not just talk about this?¡± ¡°Ana, I can no longer be your doormat. I fell in love with everything about you, except for the way you treated me; how is that even possible. When we were together, I felt like I had tunnel vision. I was so focused on you and everything you had to say. The way you smiled at me, god, your smile melted me.¡± She wants to talk, but I hear her sigh as she lets me carry on speaking, ¡°I told myself every time you left, I wouldn¡¯t let this happen again. Then I would get a text from you, and my heart would melt. I never had to think about it. I knew I wanted to see you. I wanted that time with you. But every time you left, you made it clear I was yourst thought or not never a thought at all.¡± ¡°Ethan, you know how hard it is. We would have never worked.¡± And for one brief while, as she pauses, I could almost say that she is crying. Yet, ¡°We could not work; what makes you think it will work again?¡± ¡°You know what, Ana, I am phoning the Police. This¡­us¡­I don¡¯t deserve this, and I never did. When you phoned, I will be honest, it did give me some hope, but I cannot fight this battle with you anymore. I cannot fight to have you around. I cannot fight to see you. And least of all, I cannot fight for someone that will not fight for me.¡± ¡°Ethan, please.¡± ¡°No, Ana. This ¡®thing¡¯ is toxic. I want to believe you didn¡¯t know you were hurting me, but I think you did. I don¡¯t hate you, but I love myself too much to keep trying to love you. It¡¯s time to let go of the woman I fell in love with but didn¡¯t love me.¡± With that, I hear her burst out in tears as I drop the phone, well, more like tossing it to the other side of the room. But just as I am about to leave the room, the goddamn thing starts to ring again¡­ Now, do I answer her? I know that she is going to call persistently until she gets to tell me whatever it is that she feels to get off her chest after she has taken my son from our home without me knowing. The in fact here is, if it was just Ana that left me, then perhaps I could have been able to deal with it, but she has taken Lucas. She has crossed a line, and I am rather, a matter of fact, not going to let her get away with that. She does not want this to get out of hand¡­ Well, Ana, this has just be very much out of control. So with this very thought in mind, I find my phone on the floor and make that call. Chapter 223 Not Supposed To Happen So I am finding myself standing on the doorstep of a fucking hotel room. Now there are big parts of me that want to kick himself for doing this, yet those parts that are not hating her want to make sure that my son is safe. Yet, I don¡¯t know if I can truly trust her; now there is a fucked up thing, you cannot trust my wife. But pushing aside our differences, she soon, and god, did I wish I did not, but as she opens that door, that hints of honey attack my senses and renders mepletely weak in every crack of bone of my knees. When she swings that door open, then I know that I have made a big mistake. There are only but inches, and when I say inches, I mean there is a strip of red fabric covering her breasts, and then there is an even more of an inch of white covering that tight ass. She has this two-piece thing going, which covers the only thing I now desire to see. Yet, I shake my head in clear frustration. Ana Hunter, yet as of hours ago, it is now very much Jenkins. She will not get as much a lift from me. So pushing her goddamn beauty aside, she leads me inside; well, the look that I am getting from her could honestly kill with the shot of a dagger. Then she torments me with that swaying of her hips as she moves over to pour me a ss of chilled whiskey. When she ever so slowly hands it to me, her finger brushes against the sensitive parts of my palm. Ya! That goddamn lift happens. And I am officially fucked. ¡°You are very distracting for a woman that just became a mother.¡± She only but gives me a wicked grin, ¡°Are you looking at my ass again.¡± ¡°Well,¡± I choke as I take a sip from my ss. ¡°You are wearing a lot less clothes that are appropriate.¡± With a slight chuckle, she only but waves me off.Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. Ya, there is definitely that lift now. ¡°Let us just try to keep this respectable and decide what you want to do?¡± ¡°Well, what are you going to do?¡± Perhaps you¡­ Ya, right¡­ Let us move on and answer the question, ¡°I want my son home, Ana, and I am sorry, but there is no negotiating on that.¡± ¡°Ethan, I don¡¯t think that I can bear living under the same roof as you.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t give a fuck, Ana.¡± I brief for a brief moment as I watch her wrap those lips around the bottle of water that she is holding in her hand. Yes, I have made a mistake ining here. My heart is in turmoil, but all I want is to see my son. If I did not know any better, perhaps I do, but I know that she is doing this on purpose. Ana knows how to push my buttons, and right now, she is pushing them rather well. ¡°As I am saying, Ana, I am not going to run this in circles. I want my son in that car, and I don¡¯t care if your ass ising along.¡± And as I say these words, I can see that smile of hers change into something that I do not know. Is she about to lose fucking control of me again? Thest thing I want this woman to do is to have her little episode in front of my son. It is him that I am walking up to next as he is lying peacefully in his carrier, fast asleep,pletely unaware of the tension between his mom and dad. This is not the life that I want for him, but this is what it is going to be. There is nothing I can do about that; Ana has made me want to hate her more than I have ever loved her. So as I give him a little kiss on the forehead, I walk back past Ana to take my seat again, but just before I sit down, I look at her again, ¡°Now, do we have an understanding? Are you going to stop acting like a fucking child and bring my son home? If our marriage is over, then so be it, but you are not taking Lucas away from me. Do not,¡± I move a bit closer to her as I am now staring her down. ¡°Do not test my patience.¡± She only but pouts those deep cherry lips, ¡°But Ethan¡­¡± Ya, and I do not allow her to finish¡­ Why? I am fucking devouring those deep cherry lips¡­ What the fuck am I doing? ¡°Fuck, that should not have happened. I told you that you are distracting.¡± ¡°Hey, it is not my fault that you have a hard-on.¡± ¡°Oh, Ana, yes it is.¡± Without even having to hesitate or get this mind to start thinking, Ice my fingers into Ana¡¯s hand. Ya, I don¡¯t know what the fuck I am doing, but, god, I want her. And it is her that I am going to take as I lead her towards the bed and to the softness of the sheets that are covered in the scent of her perfume. I cup my hand over her cheek and then slide the other to the back of her head, tangling my fingers into her hair. Then she softly whispers, ¡°Ethan, we cannot¡­¡± ¡°Ssshhh, Ana. Just onest time, just for one time more.¡± She kisses me gently; the delicious taste of her tongue fills mepletely. The deeper the kiss bes, the deeper her desire grows, that aching deep inside me is yearning to be fed by her rising passion. With soft, delicate fingers, I let rip loose at those pieces of fabric, while in total haste, she drops my pants to my knees. Now, this is the moment where I can stop it, but yet no, I still want to feel her for onest time. Perhaps that was my whole intention when I came here tonight, but that thought is quickly pushed aside as her body starts melting into mine, and I drop my skin against her in pure raw craving. There is a growl that escapes my throat as I part her legs and pull her closer by the knees. She locks those legs around my waist and pulls me even closer; I have yearned for this body so many times between the stillness of hate and longing. And longing is those eyes that are prating mine only but begging, ¡°God, Ethan, if you are going to do it, then do it now.¡± With the words flowing from those velvety lips, her hand finds my erection, and with long agonizing strokes, she gently starts massaging. ¡°Fuck, Ana, I don¡¯t think we should be doing this.¡± ¡°Then why have you not stopped yet?¡± As each syble leaves her mouth, I edge my warm hand between her legs and start tracing my entrance until I find the fold just above her clit. Gently with my thumb and finger, I take her lips and start rubbing. ¡°Shit, Ethan, please don¡¯t stop now.¡± ¡°We have to, Ana.¡± With that, I want to pull away, but she hooks those legs around me even firmer than before. My body jerks, and my finger slips inside of her. ¡°Fuck, Ethan. Now, please.¡± I edge my palpitating erection until it touches her entrance, then with one flick of my hip, I drive hard into her with one long delicious move. Seven sensations of pure pleasure consume me as nothing but ecstasy rushes through my veins. Then slowly, I leave her hot wet pussy, and with one hard thrust, shepletely absorbs me. I retract and drive in again. With my hips, I pull her to the edge of sensation. Each time I pull back, I thrust inpletely; the sweet sounds of her moans sing in my ear like a symphony. Yet she feels even fucking better as I am smashing into her, over, back, and forth. She pulls me forward and locks her arms around my neck; my hands slide over her thighs and cup her tight ass; with one slight snap, I push erection far too deep, and she lets out my name in a deafening scream. Then I stop. She only but urges me on with her hips. I push her deeper into the satin sheets and watch as she disappears; not holding one moment back, I smash in hard, it causes the bed to shake. I drive myself deep; the sex is wild. Repeatedly, I am jabbing and bumping into and around her pussy. Then just as she is about to fall apart, my back arches in spasms as I empty myself in her moist depths, and the warmth of her pussy melts over my throbbing erection. As we topple over the edge, we fall apart in each other¡¯s bodies. When I finally fall next to her on the bed, the only thought that urs to me¡­ Chapter 224 No More A Fool For You I need to make a decision before I leave this room today. I can let Ana y me for a fool. Well, ya¡­let her try¡­ But the fact is¡­I am not a man that easily backs down. She has hurt me for far too many times, and for far too many times, I have given her the control and looked the other way. That control ends here today. I know deep in my heart that the final hurt is not over. So, after taking several moments to clear my head and convince myself that this is indeed for the best, I get out of bed and nce over my shoulder at Ana¡­ This was a mistake. I have let my guard down for a second; for a second, I let my pain get the better of me. One moment of weakness will be my downfall. I knew that I should not havee here. There is a war raging in here, but there is an even bigger war raging in my heart. So as I hear her voicee from behind me, I have only one thing to do, and that is turn around and face the woman that I once loved with my heart and soul. And it is with slow agony that I do so. Each little scuffle my hesitant feet make, I prepare myself for what awaits me. I truly do not think that any pain can be worse than the one that I am already feeling deep within my soul. And with that, I take that steady turn. It is with great ease that I grab her around the waist and push her back into the wall behind her. She gasps and tries to free herself from my grip that has her hands firmly pinned above her head. But¡­ I am soon surprised as she spins me around and has my back now firmly pressed against the wall. Her hands are cold yet firm as they pin my wrists above my head. I rip my hands from his grip and fling her around until she is firmly secure between the grip of my arms. She tries to struggle, but I have her hands tight within my hold. She cannot move; she is trapped between the pure force of my body that is not allowing her to move an inch. Yet she pushes and tries her damndest to get away from me. But¡­wait. This is fucking crazy! Not to mention goddamn hot. ¡°Ana, I am only going to ask you once, but I have a feeling that I will repeat myself. Now are you going to bring my son home? Or does this need to get ugly?¡± ¡°You have two chances, Ethan, and none of them looks very good for you.¡± ¡°Is that going to be your answer? For I would really reconsider that if I was you. I have not changed my mind; I will get the Cops to bring my child home.¡± She pauses for a brief while as she tries to wiggle her hands loose from my grip, then she continues, ¡°Then what wasst night about?¡± Well, let us think about that. ¡°Oh, Ana, what do you think it was?¡± ¡°Sex?¡± Ya, depth of stupid¡­do not mention that word when you are on top of a naked woman. And next is me pulling her deep against the tightness of my body. And there it is¡­ ¡°Ethan.¡± ¡°Ssshhh, Ana.¡±Content provided by N?velDrama.Org. I take a lock of her hair and twirl it around my finger, ¡°God, I am going to regret this, but fuck, I just need¡­¡± I lean closer until my breath is lingering on the tips of her ear. ¡°I want you.¡± Then with absolute raw desire, I grab that damn peachy ass and pull every inch of her toned body into mine until we melt into each other. In an instant, I tangle my hands in her hair and seek the softness of her lips. With every wink, I pull her closer, and then I pull away. I taunt and tease, slowly I will im her as mine. The carnal desire to feel that raw passion takes over my body. I wrap my arms around her waist and lift her off her feet and carry her back to the bed. As I push her deeper into the soft sheets, I stare into her brown eyes. She arches her back and pushes herself into my raging erection. Her body whimpers and begs to be touched. ¡°Ethan.¡± As she says my name, I feel a sharp bolt shoot straight through my heart, knowing that she will give me everything that I desire. My mind says no, but my body says yes; how can one have what you desire within arm¡¯s reach but not want it at the same time. Then all reasoning steps out the door. I cannot keep my self-control any longer. I can feel my heart pounding beneath my flesh. Her touch sends my blood. My body freezes, and for a moment, I stop breathing, and a growl escapes my lips. And the very moment that it escapes my lips, she brings hers closer, ¡°Ethan, what are you doing?¡± ¡°What does it look like?¡± My hands slide up her thighs¡­ She moans and begs for me to further my touch. But not yet; I am not ready to take her yet. She slides her hands through my hair and knots her fingers in it; she slowly pulls me closer to her, so close that our lips almost touch. Her sweetness attacks every corner of my senses. She is a breath of fresh air on a bed of wet flowers that is burning hot in the sun. Just thinking of letting myself get lost in her sends a pure ache of craving to my very much throbbing erection. Her entire body quivers beneath me. ¡°Fuck. I just want more of you.¡± She moans in my ear as her lips tremble, ¡°Fuck, Ethan, if you don¡¯t take me now.¡± ¡°Patience, Ana, we have all the time in the world.¡± Then ever so slowly and painfully¡­ The waves of emotions she brings to my body just make me beg and scream for more. I know I should not, I know I should stop and go home, but I cannot. She captivates me; she draws me in with every inch of my skin. Looking at her beauty does not only take my breath away; it knocks all the air out from my chest. Now she is lying here in front of me for mine to take. I have never been known as a man that loses control. Ya! I am about to lose control in Ana¡­again. For one brief moment, the words leave my lips in only but a soft whimper, ¡°I¡­I should not be doing this.¡± But I havee this far, and I am not stopping now; I need to feel her deeper; I need to feel her melt into my body. Our naked skin touching together, moving softly together, just like the finest of silk. Our bodies fitting together as if we were made just for this, to fall into one another, to feel the natural rhythm. Both of us move in an intoxicated dance of limbs, never making the same move twice. Then I stop for a moment and look back into her eyes, there is a softness in them, but there is the same raw desire that I feel. I touch my forehead to hers, and I can feel the heat radiating through her skin. It fills my body, from head to toe, invigorating me and filling me with passion. And just for a moment, the world around us slows. I run my warm breath slowly over her soft cheek to her deep red velvety lips. They are but only an inch away from touching hers. Then with only one wink, they touch. I cannot help but close my eyes as my senses are filled with the taste of cotton candy. I can feel her heart rate as it picks up a pace; I have her right where I want her to be. With the utmost confidence that I have her hooked, I step away from her body, ¡°Now I am repeating myself, and I fucking hate it. You have five minutes to get your shit together ande home, or I will see you on the other side of a ce that you do not want to be. So what is it going to be, and let me warn you, think very carefully about what your answer is going to be.¡± I hear as she stutters while trying to catch her breath. She is still caught under my spell, yet, she finds her voice again, ¡°But, we¡­¡± As I slip back into my jeans and flip my shirt over my head, ¡°No buts, Ana. Me and you, well, there is no such thing. But you wille home, I fucking own your ass, and you have my son. So what is it going to be?¡± Chapter 225 Dive Into Chaos The drive in the early morning sun that is lying hot andfortable on my skin does nothing for the anger that I feel within. The anger that will now, once and for all, boil out of control and hopefully set the reality in that no matter how well you y the game with Isabell, she is always going to win. Ya, the little ice princess has gotten her way. After trying to make my intention very clear that I would have her arrested for taking my child away from me, I backed off gracefully and left the hotel without Lucas. The question is¡­will I truly have her arrested? That is a question that I cannot answer with a definite yes or no, for the anger is consuming me. How the fuck did I let Ana Jenkins y me again? So miss little ice princess never had the intention ofing home. And seeing that I had failed to get her to return now. Well, that only means that I will being back for her again¡­ I am not hiding like fucking coward. I will be back for her¡­wait until she just getsfortable again, then I will be down on her even faster than she can breathe. It is very annoyed that I finally find myself home, where Gibbs has been waiting for me to make the final arrangements of our impending deployment. He only but gives me one nce and knows that it is far better not to ask any questions, yet, ¡°The woman is still a fucking liar, but she is getting good at telling them.¡± ¡°So,¡± he gives me a sneaky smirk, ¡°Did she lock you up for the night?¡± ¡°Ya, just go ahead and make fun of a man¡¯s weakness.¡± Gibbs bursts out in a fit of uncontrobleughter as I adjust a fucking hard-on that is growing just at the mere image of that naked ass in my head. Then Gibbs continues, ¡°I wish I were a fly on that wall, well just not the parts¡­¡± then he stops for a brief moment, ¡°Or did you discuss the new arrangement while you were fucking her.¡± ¡°Thank fuck no.¡± ¡°You two,¡± Gibbs only but shakes his head. ¡°Just fucking make up already.¡± ¡°The goddamn woman refuses to listen to me, no matter what I throw at her!¡± ¡°Now, what are you going to do?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know; I need to think of my next approach, and hopefully, it is with the right body park.¡± With that, I grab a bottle of cold water from the fridge and take an ass that is still what trembling back to my room to change of the clothes that only but smells like the woman that I hate the most in the world at this very moment. But as I start taking each step, that anger starts growing back under my skin. It lets loose like a beast. As far as my feet take me into the room, every single object that finds itself in my path shatters in pure brute force against the wall. The chair finds its way through the room; there is ss shattering into fragments of nothing. I ram my fist with a hatred so raw in the mirror, hundreds of pieces cutting at the skin of my hand. Iyplete destruction to everything that is and was a part of her until I can say that for now, for this minute, I shall be rid of any thought of her. And when she returns into the passages of my memories, I shall do it again and again until every trace of her has been taken from my life. I am angry; I am furious. And as Ie down from my rampage,pletely exhausted, but yet not any less angry than before, my phone starts to light up. ANA JENKINS. Well, what does the little ice princess want now? Do I answer? Or just torture my memories? So much to my frustration and the delight of a somewhat still semi-erect hard-on, I swipe up to see what our dear wants. ¡°Miss me already, Ana?¡±C¨°ntens bel0ngs to N?(v)elDr/a/ma.Org ¡°Oh, I was checking the very same on you. I was wondering how much you are missing this tight ass on yourp?¡± ¡°Now, Ana, did you phone a man to have phone sex?¡± ¡°Perhaps¡­perhaps I am seeing that my prize is still alive.¡± ¡°Your prize? I feel hurt, here I thought I was your husband?¡± I listen as she only bursts out in a roar ofughter, deep from her belly; I know it makes her toes curl. She used tough like this before she had turned into this person that I do not know. But can she still feel so free around me? But¡­ Stop the fuck there, Ethan. ¡°So, Ana, why did you really phone me?¡± ¡°Honestly?¡± ¡°Well, I would prefer you no other way.¡± ¡°Do you still? Do you still prefer me?¡± I take a deep breath and think for a moment to myself, is Ana ying another game with me. But, yet, ¡°I hate the way I don¡¯t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.¡± ¡°But you will have me arrested?¡± ¡°Ana, I guess you should ask yourself one question. Do you deserve that? Do you think that after what you have done to me and taken my son away from me, that I deserve to give you everything that is due toe your way? Can you see how I would feel?¡± Then for what seems like one breath more than too many, I continue to speak, ¡°You know my weakness, and you took full advantage of it. I will give it to you, you had me off-guard, but it is only because you know which switch to flip.¡± ¡°But Ethan,¡± she starts as I hear her voice turn sincere, ¡°You know that we are not good together.¡± ¡°I think I havee to realize that it will never happen.¡± ¡°Then why did youe herest night?¡± ¡°That is simple¡­I care about you. We are good together, well we were, I will give you that. But with all the good, there was bad,so much so that when I see you to this day, I feel it all over again. It wasn¡¯t so much what you did to me; it was more what you didn¡¯t do. All I wanted from you wasmore¡­More time, moreughs, more kissing. No matter how perfect I felt like we were when the opportunity arose, you¡¯d ignore it.¡± After listening to nothing but near silence, I continue, ¡°We had a cycle, and it never seemed to change; the only difference from time to time was the intensity of the stages in our cycle. It started with flirting, flirting led to romance, and thenit would peak and dive-bomboff a cliffnding into this awkward time where you¡¯d avoid me, and I¡¯d just stand there at the door waiting, dazed and confused.I knew every single time you¡¯de back because that¡¯s how you work. Our cycle would start over.¡± ¡°Ethan, you might never believe this, but I saw a man in you that I still believe will one day show himself. I know that he¡¯s there, but I couldn¡¯t wait on him anymore.¡± Ya, fuck! ¡°Come on, Ana, that is bullshit. What more do you want from a man that you cannot find in me?¡± ¡°I need a man like my dad.¡± ¡°Well, Ana, that just ain¡¯t going to fucking happen. You like Ethan Hunter, or you can fuck off. You know what? I hate how much I still love you. But what I hate the most is that I know that you will never be able to say the same.¡± Then ya, ¡°But I do love you, Ethan.¡± ¡°Ana,¡± I try to remain calm as I speak. ¡°What game are you ying at now again? Do you get pure pleasure out of seeing a man suffer?¡± ¡°No, Ethan.¡± I hear the hint of something in her voice, and I am not sure if she is being honest or if she is ying yet another game, for god knows that I so wish that she would mean every bit of it. However, mymon sense says to y it safe and not let little ice princess burn me for what shall be the third time today. And just as I am about to speak, I have Gibbs knocking on the door. And as I lean my head to meet his gaze, he only but smiles at me. Very much frustrated at the situation, I ce my hand over the phone and only but shake my head at him, ¡°What the fuck are you smiling about?¡± He only but continues to chuckle at me as he steps one foot into the room. Then after what seems an eternity for him to gather himself from his hystericalughter, he only but shows for me, ¡°You bettere out and see this.¡± Chapter 226 The Force Behind My Anger ¡­Ana POV¡­ To say that I have not hit a new depth of stupidity in these past few days would be a total understatement. From bursting into Ray¡¯s home and attacking Gibbs¡¯s girlfriend to taking Ethan¡¯s child away from him and sacking up in some small hotel room. That can easily be described as the most insane thing that any woman can set her mind to, regardless of which world it is that she finds herself in. Now, should I want to try and find the most logical answer for doing any of them, I cannote to one single one. Why do I hate Ethan so much? Even more important¡­why is my Bipr back with such a great force? Why do I want to hurt Ethan so bad? Well, I guess there is only the truth that needs to be told. And as I try to bear the pain that is consuming my body, try to make sense of this fucking crazy that is brewing inside of me. I¡¯ve run out of reasons to run away from Ethan. I¡¯ve tried so hard to find something, anything that will be a strong enough reason to walk away from him, just so I don¡¯t have to face my fear. But I have nothing. Ethan shook me to my core, making all of my walls tumble down while I was trying to rebuild them, catching bricks of old pain that I so patiently stacked until they were thick and high enough to protect me. And he was still there, making sure that I was safe, making sure to keep me warm, now that the hurricanes of life could touch me again. He was simultaneously the earthquake that split me into pieces and the glue that held me together. I¡¯m so scared of falling apart again. But Ethan already knows that, well, only the pieces that I want him to know of. He already knows that every time I pull away, it¡¯s not because I don¡¯t love him. It¡¯s because I¡¯m afraid, but this is what I tell myself to believe in, hoping that, in fact, I know that he does not feel that I truly love him the way that he does me. I¡¯m not used to being touched gently, touched in a way I can actually feel loved. I¡¯m not used to being held when I¡¯m broken.N?velDrama.Org owns this text. I¡¯m not used to feeling loved, but he loves me. He is still here. Ethan is my biggest fear and the source of my courage. But I think that after this time that he truly does not love me and that his love has also now grown into hate. But I am so scared of being hurt again. I am just afraid that if I get hurt once more, I won¡¯t be able to get back on my feet again. I am so afraid of being manipted again, of being intoxicated and twisted. But I trust him. For crazy reasons I can¡¯t even put in words, I trust him. Ethan has always put my needs before his and made me feel safe, no matter if it was in the woods by Fallujah or if it was in the space I feared when Brendan hade back from the past to seek what he thought was his. Ethan was there through it all; he never left my side, he never left me alone and wanting. I trust him when he says that he will never hurt me. I trust him when he says that you will always be here. But as the nightes crawling back to me, my fears are, here again, screaming and echoing through my mind. Pinning me to my bed, chasing away my peace and dreams. But he is still there. And I wish to believe that he does not mean that he will have me arrested for doing him such a great injustice when I know that I fully deserve it. The thing, though, is, do I really still love him? I¡¯m scared of loving again. Of not being loved back. Of being taken for granted. Why do I trust his words? What is so special about him that makes my walls tumble down? It¡¯s the feeling of calm I feel when I¡¯m with him. It¡¯s the warmth in my soul I feel when I look into his eyes. It¡¯s the feeling of my hand in his. It¡¯s the feeling that I finally belong somewhere, that I belong in his arms. It¡¯s the feeling of his heartbeat when I¡¯m lying on his chest. It¡¯s the feeling I get when he leans his head on mine, telling me how I am his boo. Telling me how I¡¯m the best thing that has happened to him. It¡¯s the patience he has for me. It¡¯s the strength he has for my demons. It¡¯s the way he is ready to fight my wars because they are now his, too. Every time I run away, he is waiting for me. Every time Iugh away his words of love, he makes me feel them. I no longer can see the woman he does. That is the woman that was broken, beaten to death. The woman I locked up behind all those walls that he tumbled down. But he sees her. He sees her fire, her passion, and her beauty. But that is only a small part that he knows; I don¡¯t think somehow that he will understand when I finallye out with the great truth to him. How is he going to handle the truth that I have been hiding from him all this time? Yes, he saw every w of mine, and he kissed them anyway. He saw my scars and mended them with his love. He saw my bruises and healed them with his gentle touch. He saw oceans of sadness in my eyes and learned to swim in them, so I am not alone anymore. Loving him. Letting him in. Having him by my side is still the scariest thing I imagined myself doing. It still frightens me to death, but I¡¯d rather die in his arms than live without them. But, I can say this so easily, yet I do not know if I should believe myself. Should I choose to fight every day, just to see his eyes once more? Should I want to feel his heartbeat and hear him call me one more time as his ¡®boo?¡¯ I¡¯m scared as hell to love, but should I rather be afraid of being alone? So, is it time that I bring my craziness to an end? Or do I continue to fight this raging war against a man I know that will win? And that is a decision I need to make in the next ticking seconds¡­ Why is this so hard? Why can I not just let myself go and give in to his love? Is it so wrong to let him love me? Or is the fact that I might never love him the same way as he loves me? The fact is¡­ I don¡¯t think I know how to love! I have always just felt like an object. I felt like the trophy that a man kept on his arm. But I know that Ethan never will see me like that; he respects me and loves me for who I am. Yes, even with all my goddamn tantrums. So yes, this situation has grown somewhat out of hand; I have gone far more further than I should have done. However, I think that I knew that it would have happened at some stage. I knew that my demons woulde from the service and not only haunt my life but those who are in it. He is a man with a heart and that heart he has given to me. Now, before I make this next step, I need to make that decision. Is this anger ever going to go away? It sometimes borders on hate. And hate is something that makes your heart bitter¡­I think that we have already established it. But how can I be bitter and hate someone that can bring the greatest joy to my life? I should see him for what he brings to me, the way he makes me whole. I must put aside the small fact that I am, after all, just crazy in my head and that my Bipr does not justify for my actions of the past few days. I have fought hard against him, but he has fought too hard for us to be together. He has gone beyond what was ever necessary to protect and love me. So, yes, I can say that I am stubborn and I can in that same breath say that even if I do not know, I can learn to love him the way that he deserves to. And with the greatest pain that still consumes my body and the slight one that I feel in my heart, I take those next steps that are going to determine my life from here on end. Chapter 227 My Undoing If my mind thought it was deceiving it, my eyes are telling me that I surely am not. Ana has just arrived on our doorstep again. Why she has not entered the room, that I do not know. There is a slight hesitation about her which I am sure anyone would feel after what we have been through these past few days. I will not question her, for right now, I do not know what her intention is, and I damn well do not want another argument either. So it is with a tiny jolt of energy back into my bones that I can barely stop myself from smiling. As my eyes leave hers, I find the only thing that really matters in this world. Yes, I know that I need to say that Ana is along there somewhere. But right now, I am reluctant to open myself to that possibility again. Yet, I do have to admit, ¡°You have no idea I am happy to see you and Lucas.¡± I pause for a brief moment as I rush over and ce a tiny peck on the little man¡¯s forehead, then I continue again, ¡°Ana¡­¡± She immediately interrupts me; under a strained breath, she starts to speak softly, ¡°Ethan, I owe you such a great apology; I don¡¯t know what came over me. I was so mad with fury after I saw you with that woman.¡± ¡°But, I have exined to you so many times now that there is no other woman. It was¡­¡± And as I nce over to Gibbs¡¯s side, he only but nods his head in agreement, ¡°It was Gibbs¡¯s ex-girlfriend.¡± She goes quiet for a brief moment, and I know what is ying in her head. That doubt that hangs between us that suspends us in the air, that doubt is still there. I can see that in her eyes. Does that bring a new sting to my heart? Of course. I won¡¯t be fucking human. But I need to push my feelings back and think about her; well, I need to think about Lucas. I need toe to the realization that within the next couple of minutes, things can turn horribly wrong again, and this time I am not letting my son out of this house. So as long as Ana is here, then Lucas is here too.N?velDrama.Org owns this text. And that is all that matters, but¡­ ¡°How are you feeling, Ana?¡± ¡°It hurts like a goddamn bitch. I am not okay, Ethan. I have not been okay in a long time.¡± I drop my head in shame, for I know that my actions were what led this to happen, ¡°Ana, I am so sorry, I did not think that I would ever hurt you.¡± She slowly brings her finger up and ces the tip of it against my lips, preventing me from saying another word, ¡°Ethan, you did not know that I would descend on Ray¡¯s house like a mad woman and that everything would just unravel from there.¡± ¡°Ya,¡± I only but smirk. ¡°Where the fuck did you get the strength to throw that goddamn chair?¡± She softly giggles, ¡°You would be amazed what I can do.¡± As I shake my head at her, I can do nothing butugh, ¡°Trust you to say something like that.¡± Then I pause for a brief moment. ¡°Fuck, I don¡¯t want to know what you will do when you are really pissed off at me. I must give it to you, Ana, for this Marine, you have made me experience more battles here than on the battlefield.¡± ¡°You know why?¡± She softly whispers. ¡°I am the thing that makes you weak. You are a man to be reckoned with, but you will never truly hurt me. But,¡± she slightly cocks her head. ¡°There is a lot to be said about a scorned woman.¡± ¡°Well, ya, but¡­¡± And I so want to tell her¡­ Fuck that. ¡°But I love you. And I don¡¯t care if you don¡¯t want to hear it. I will love you till even after my end hase, I will take my love for you beyond the grave.¡± ¡°Ethan, I¡­¡± ¡°Ssshhh, Ana. You don¡¯t have to say anything.¡± ¡°But I want to. So please just listen to me for a moment.¡± And as she takes one deep breath, I can hear something else. There is something in her voice that I have never heard before, that anger, that pain, whatever it is that has her boiling still has a hold on her. ¡°Ana, please,e get some rest. You must be exhausted from being up with Lucas. I will go lie him done. You go rest.¡± ¡°No, I need to tell you this¡­¡± She goes silently for a few seconds, and as she speaks again, my heart crumbles once again. ¡°This might be thest time that I will ever say this to you.¡± ¡°Ana, please listen to me; stop being so goddamn stubborn. You need to rest. We can talk about thister.¡± Her voice hitches a pitch, and ya, I know that I should not be pissing this woman off again. Who knows what the fuck she will be throwing next? ¡°Ethan, what I did, was totally unforgivable. But, the thing is, what I have realized is that it is my insecurities, my fear of letting myself go. That is what led me to hate you.¡± ¡°But, that is just normal.¡± ¡°Really? How is it normal that fling a chair as someone¡¯s head?¡± ¡°Well,¡± I chuckle at her again. ¡°I have pretty good reflexes, so you would have missed any case.¡± She goes quiet, and I see her search for the words. ¡°Yes, that might be true, but the thing that is the saddest and what I know that hurts you the most¡­ Is¡­ I¡­ I just wish I knew how I can love you the way that you love me.¡± ¡°Ana, love is not apetition. You need not to love me just the same. All that does matter in the end is that you do love me. I have never asked you to change who you are. I knew from the start, very sadly, that you might never love me the same. But I havee to peace with that, and it does not make me want to be with you any less than I do.¡± I can see the turmoil in her eyes as she is fighting a battle between her heart and her mind. Though stubborn, Ana pushes forward, ¡°I think, and I have been wondering as I have been falling in and out of my mind¡­¡± ¡°What do you mean by that? What do you mean that you are falling in and out of your mind? ¡°Ethan, I¡­ There is, well¡­¡± ¡°Listen here, Ana, I feel enough for you to know that we belong together. I don¡¯t know how, but I think, and I know with you that you will find a way.¡± But I am saying this though I know that she has always been careful with her heart, and it makes me hesitate that she hase to a change of heart. I am in no way saying that I am not happy, but I need to protect myself. I cannot fucking hurt anymore. No matter how much I love this woman. So do I want to believe what she is trying to say? ¡°Ana, you have run so many times; I am scared that you are, well, I am scared that when you run away next, you will be running away for good this time.¡± ¡°Ethan, what I am trying to say here is that I am sorry. I am so goddamn sorry that I have broken your heart so many times before. And the thing is, I can¡¯t promise you that I will not break it again.¡± ¡°I think you can slice me open as many times as you want, for every time that you doe back, you make some of those pieces whole. And those pieces are enough to love you with everything that I have.¡± ¡°But it should not be like that.¡± ¡°No person is perfect, and we will never be equal. Fuck if we were on the same wavelength here, then I think you would drive me mad.¡± ¡°But I already drive you mad.¡± ¡°Ana, that is a good mad. What you fail to understand is the depth of my feelings for you. Nothing! Nothing you can throw at me, and god, please don¡¯t throw a chair, but nothing will stop me from loving you the same way.¡± ¡°Ethan¡­¡± ¡°No, please go lie down; we can talk about thister again.¡± And with that, as she gives me onest nce with a hint of something in her eyes that I cannot exin, she turns around and disappears off in the direction of Lucas¡¯s room. But somehow, this time, as I look at her back while she is walking away, I think that perhaps this time it might just be thest time that I will see her walking away. Chapter 228 The Vallue Of Lessons I remember the day when I was about to leave the Hospital when my dad just woke up from that horrible nightmare that he was facing. That day when we all knew that our love and faith had been tested. A time that we will never forget that should have taught us all a valuable lesson. Now, if I can recall almost exactly, I told myself that the next years would be difficult for me. I would stumble. I would fall. There would be heartbreak and failure. I would pick myself back up and start again. That there would be more heartbreak to follow. Well, if I now remember back to that day, I wish I could have kicked my own ass for predicting my future in such a bleak way. Yes. That night, that was thest time that I saw Ana walk away, for the next morning when I went to go wake her after she had a very much-needed rest, I only but found the bed cold and empty, nearly like she had never been in it at all. So it has been a week. A week since Ana has left. And a weekter that I am finding myself having to get ready for what will definitely be the longest month of my life. Today we deploy. Gibbs has stayed a weekter with me so that we can get my mom here and settle. And ya. This is what makes me the angriest at this all, what makes me want to rip these four walls apart. The very reason why I have not opened the goddamn white envelope that she had left behind. She left my son without a mother. And I hate her for that. Now more than ever, do I see that we were never meant to have been. Not even in a slight wink of a memory or a resemnce of a dream do I want to see Ana Jenkins in my mind. I don¡¯t want a glimpse of her to force its way to the surface. To me, well, one day, I will have to figure out how to tell my son where his mother is, but right now, the woman does not exist. The only person that exists is this little man that has his tiny ball of fingers wrapped around my tumb. He tries his damndest to get it closer to his mouth and shove it firmly in ce to suck to his heart¡¯s content. Just as he has been doing every night as I rock him asleep. And every time those brown eyes lock with mine, there is the smallest curve that pulls his cheeks upward to reveal his best feature, those little dimples which I am sure will steal many hearts one day. Thesest precious moments that he will be in my arms will be the hardest thing that I would have ever had to give up. But if I can feel his presence nestled in my embrace for the next thirty days, then I will hold him that extra five minutes that is now starting to push us over being ratherte for our ride out of here. But I do not honestly care right now what is demanded from me as a Marine for, believe me, I tried for the past seven days to get out thismitment that I made, and there was simply no way that I could stop being ripped away from my son¡¯s life for a month. I just hope that he will see this as what it means to live up to a promise and not me abandoning him. Not like his fucking mother. But one day¡­ Not today¡­ I will read that envelope, and I will discover her true reason to have done such a shameful thing to her son. The only person that she imed that she had loved more than life. Well, I guess it is just us two boys. So as I nestle my head deep into that chest and feel how it rises and falls under my cheek, there is nothing that brings me a greater smile to eyes that are now starting to blur from the tears that are threatening to break through at any moment. But I promised I would not upset him and let him see his daddy grow all weak. Instead, I ce little pecks on his cheeks and his nose and softly whisper in his ears, ¡°I love you. Now you don¡¯t give grandma a hard time.¡± And just to break the edges that were holding those tears at bay, he giggles¡­ Ya¡­ I break down, and the sobse running down cheeks that are already flustered red from anger. An anger that I have been trying to hide from Lucas for as best as I can since his mother had left. Then just as if my mom can sense, she is there in an instant to take the little monster from my arms that are now trembling out of control. With that, I walk on over to my father, that is holding a warm cup of coffee, but what he does not tell me is that he has dropped a shot of whiskey in there. ¡°Do you want to kill me?¡± I burst out as the coffee goes spurting everywhere, ¡°Or do you perhaps want them to arrest me before I get onto that ne?¡± My father only but chuckles, and I throw the rest of that hot cup of damn whiskey-coffee to the back of my throat. And as I go to put it in the basin, my father pulls me into one ufortable hug, ¡°Lucas will be fine; you just go do what you do best ande back in one piece for godsakes.¡± ¡°Ya, I don¡¯t think there are any more pieces that can¡­¡± From behind mees my mom and gives me that all too familiar smack against the head, ¡°Do not even finish that sentence. Now, your father is right about one thing, Lucas is going to be fine.¡± I break away from my father¡¯s gaze and turn to my mother with a newfound urgency in my own eyes, ¡°You do not let that woman near this house. If shees¡­¡± My mom ces her hands upon my shoulder; she knows how I feel about that woman showing up here out of the blue and wanting to demand her son. Well, she was right when she thought that I would not give her up for kidnapping because I would have never done so, but I have definitely made sure that all who can know that she has abandoned her child. ¡°Ana Jenkins is not fucking allowed near my son,¡± I look at my mother without even winking, then I turn to face my father, ¡°And you make sure that mom does not give in. Now I will be back in exactly thirty days. I am expecting to only see you three here when Ie back.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns this text. ¡°But Ethan¡­¡± My mom gives me that cock of the head as if she wants to get sympathy from me. She tries her best to seek eyes that care for that woman, but she finds naught. So I only but soften my voice as my mom has just put Lucas down for a nap, ¡°I am serious, mom. You know how I feel about what has happened. You know how hard this week was for Lucas and me. I know he was looking for him, and I could not even exin one goddamn thing that would have made sense to him. Please.¡± And with that, my mom pulls me into her embrace and wraps those protecting arms as far as they can reach across my broad shoulders. After her own tears have subsided, she whispers in my ear, ¡°I promise you that I will do anything to keep Lucas safe.¡± ¡°Thank you, mom. I will phone you every night and message you every day. If I can¡¯t get to a phone, then Ray will check-in, but please, if there is any fucking thing¡­¡± And the words are not even yet from my dirty little mouth, and my mom has me firmly pped against the head. ¡°And you better start watching that mouth of yours.¡± I only but chuckle at her as I pull her and my dad in for one final hug. And much to my mother¡¯s annoyance, I creep back to the nursery where I find my little man rather wide awake, just staring at the bright little stars that I had painted on the roof myself for him about two nights ago. I love this little bundle of you. And I need to be strong for him. I need to be stronger than I even imagine that I can be. So yes, more heartbreak will follow, but beyond that, there is my love for him, and I know he loves me near more fucking more than he ever¡­ Well, I am notparing, but yes, there has been failure, but failure will not rule our lives. Our lives can only get better from here on end, but before that happen, it is, unfortunately, the hardest and the saddest goodbye of my life. And as I lean down and pick him into my arms, I squeeze him tight and shower his little lips with kisses, ¡°See you soon, my boy.¡± Chapter 229 The Big Day Has Arrived It is early morning on a rather miserable Thursday that we are heading towards camp south of Nasiriya on this 20th March. To say that we are anxious and rather unsettled would be a tant lie. We are nearing the end of what will be the major of our attempt to take over the forces in the City. I have been looking forward to this mission for a great number of days, but since the departure of Ana, there is no other ce that I would rather be than home at this present moment. We have been told this should be a quick in and out and should notst beyond two weeks, but we are preparing ourselves for a month as things never seem to go as nned when ites to the forces in this Country. But I am set to get this mission over as fast as I possibly can with as few casualties as we had in Fallujah. My only true mission is that little bundle of smiles that is waiting for me when I get back home. This will, but I am not going to say that rather adamantly confirmed, but I shall not be going onto a mission for a while, perhaps not even in the near-immediate future. What Ana has done, well, that hatred is stillying firm, and perhaps getting out in the field is just that distraction that I am going to need to get this anger off my chest. I have never, not even on the field, been so stirred to the core that I want toy waste to anything that Iy my eyes on. This needs to be my outlet to get this off my heart so that I can be the best father. Because for sure as fuck, there is not even the best version of a mother at this present moment. Though I need to put that aside for this distraction of what I feel towards Ana is what will get me killed. And god knows that this time I have a lot more to get home to. So as I am sitting waiting for us to be dropped down near camp, their emotions are not ones that go unseen by Gibbs that is very concerned with me being on this mission and not having it all together. And with that said, he turns to me andys his hand gently on my shoulder, ¡°You will be home before we even know it.¡± ¡°Well,¡± I only but chuckle at him out ofplete fear, ¡°You just make sure that I make it safely back there.¡± ¡°Hey, you have to make sure that you help me on that one.¡± ¡°You know I always have your back. So let us make sure that we both get back home safely.¡± I pause for a brief moment, and with a wicked smile on my face, I turn my attention back to him, ¡°Then you can get that girlfriend that is going to change those godawful diapers.¡± Gibbs only bursts out in a fit ofughter, ¡°As long as you do not expect this uncle to do it for you.¡± And with that, we are creeping closer to the coordinates where we will be dropping down and making the way to camp. For the next few days, we will be lying low, and then we will be heading towards the City of Baghdad. This is thest and the most important part that we will y in taking the bad apples by force andying our ground for dominance in the area. So it is in only but two minutes and counting that we are approaching the drop-off point. With utmost confidence, we take our ce at the back of the ne, ready to make ourunch out into nothing but blue skies. And as the clouds start appearing at the end of that runway to the entrance, that adrenaline that I love starts to pump through my veins. And for one moment in a brief second, I am on top of the world, and with that exhrating feelinges the memory of thest time that I was here. Though I push her to the side, she is not my mission; she is not the person that I need to get home to this time. Ana does not exist. Lucas must be lying in my mom¡¯s arms and having his morning bottle by now. That is the only person that deserves every space of my past, my present, and my future. So staring at Gibbs, I only but smile at him, for next I have him by the arm, and we are jumping into the air of nothing towards even more of nothing below us. And yes, I fucking love this. But let us get this over. And over it is in mere winks of moments, and our feet arending firmly on the ground as a group of Marines heads towards us to grab whatever else is dropping from the belly of the in up from above. One of these very men is a face that I am rather happy to see at this present moment. The man has been nothing but supportive, and he tried his damndest to get me out of this mission, but beyond what his power stretched, not even he was able to do that. So here we are all together once again. ¡°How was the flight?¡± Rayes towards me and gives me a big pat on the shoulders as he helps me shred my parachute. ¡°Oh, you know, bumpy as shit and not much goodpany on the way here.¡± Gibbs only butughs as he steps closer, ¡°Well, thepany that I was trying to entertain was not the entertaining kind.¡± We all burst into a rumble and set ourselves in the direction of the camp. At first, the walk is quiet, and not much is being said. I know that not one of them wants to say anything to me out of the fear of saying anything that might bring back a flood of emotions. But the fact is that none of them even need to, for those emotions are running rampant at this very moment as I am reminded of the time that¡­ Ya, I should not be doing this to myself. This is not healthy, and this is not why I am here. I have a job to do, and I am going to do it the goddamn best that I can. Yes, I am away from my child, but I am sure that he will understand one day when we talk about this that it was something that I had to do. He will learn that when his fathermits, hemits for the long run. Just like my life is nowmitted to raising him in the best version of himself. So as we are winding our way through thick brush and mud, I look up to the skies and feel that slight drizzle of rain that is now starting toe down as a trickle onto my face, and I know that I am still alive. And this, being right here, this is what drives me to do everything else better.C¨°ntens bel0ngs to N?(v)elDr/a/ma.Org Yes, Lucas will understand why his father hase to a country to save these people from dying because of a wicked man that has no morals or regard for other people¡¯s lives. But what my son will never understand is why his mother had done what she had done. Fuck, I am still trying to figure out that myself. Perhaps I should just read that letter, but god knows, I can¡¯t get myself to open yet another white envelope that will bring me even more pain. And as I say that, I run my fingers over the edges where I have tucked it into my pocket. My full intention is to either destroy it without even taking a look at what is inside, or perhaps I will let my heart be ripped into slices again. Yet, I am tired of hurting, so I can say that this mightnd up in the same mud that we are now treading on. I do not, and right now I am; my mind is clogged with Ana, not because I miss her, but because I am trying to understand. But I think that I havee to the conclusion that I will never understand her, and as from this very second, I will remove any inch of her that has ever been in my head. And what else I think it¡¯s time to do is get rid of the only other thing that still ties me to her. So I take the envelope and start to crumple it up in my hand, and just as I am about to toss it to the ground, I have Ray next to me. ¡°We are moving out in three days. Are you going to be ready?¡± ¡°Ray, I promise you,¡± And in saying that, I let go of the envelope and flip that switch that needs to take action in my head. Confidently I find his gaze again, ¡°I promise, I just want to get back to my son.¡± Chapter 230 The Final Mission Days seem to be moving faster than we have anticipated, with the imminent mission lying around the corner. We will be moving out tomorrow just before the crack of dawn as we will make our way up to Baghdad. Now to say that I am shit scared for what might happen is clearly evident in the pacing I have done in the past half hour. Much to Ray¡¯s annoyance, he has sent me out of the ops tent to find something else to keep my mind upied. I am fucking scared that I am not going to make this one home this time. I havee so close to death these past two missions that I am now asking myself what the fuck am I doing here. My son needs me, and I am here in the middle of goddamn no man¡¯s desert going off my head. My mom has even told me to stop phoning her more than four times a day, for I am driving her right there insane with my constant checking on Lucas. I never knew that there woulde a day that I would rather be anywhere else than the ce I used to love being the most. So with my mind driving me slowly down a very steep hill into what is going to be a spectacr crash when I eventuallye down from my panic, I find my way to the mess hall in search of the strongest cup of caffeine. And it is here where I find the furthest corner away from any other living soul at the moment to send my mom just one more message today before she does actually send someone toe take my phone away as she had threatened to only but a half an hour ago. Ya, I am a nervous fucking wreck, and I have no idea what to expect for tomorrow and even beyond that as I count these days down patiently until I can set my foot back home and have my son back in my arms. Fuck any pump action riffle or even a missileuncher; what I want in my arms is a far more delicate little young person. I do not want to be here. But fuck, I also have to be the man that I am when I am not with my family. And talking about family, I have perhaps secretly wondered and waited to see if Ana would perhaps even phone to say just a simple good luck or perhaps even an odd chance of that she is thinking of me while I am out here. But I think that it is a foolish man with wishful thinking that believes that such a thing shall happen, especially from my dear old ex-wife. Ya, as I am sitting here and hoping that the woman might care, I am very much busy pulling up the divorce papers. That will be the very first damn thing that I do, and that is sign them the minute I set my feet back home. I want her out of my life more than I want her to actually phone and say that she cares. But I am not holding my breath for that one. But something I have been holding my breath on is this envelope that I have now for the past few days nearly opened. But then I get that part of me that says that why do I want to put myself through this pain again. What can be so important that she took five minutes longer to write it down just before she decided to walk out of Lucas and my life? Well, perhaps¡­ And yes, my hand has found its way into my pocket where I can feel the edges of the envelope that now has started to crumble with each attempt that I fold it over and over in my hands, not near close enough to open it and find the truth behind what has been a lie for little over a year now. So as I take one big sip on my cup of coffee, I swallow even more pain away than the burning liquid down my throat. Am I ready for this? Am I ready to do this today? Tomorrow we head out, and god knows we don¡¯t know what to expect. Do I want to take thatst step, perhaps thatst breath, not knowing what was on her mind? What the fuck was her reason for leaving me like that? Do I want to get kicked in the fucking gut again? Guess¡­ Ah, what the hell! With a nce around the tent, I am moving myselfpletely out of sight of anyone; I take the envelope and tear the top of it open in such a slow motion that it seems as if time is almost standing still. ¡°Come on; it is just a fucking letter. Get yourself together, Hunter!¡± And as I take that next deep breath, I start pulling the piece of paper from the envelope. The minute that I have it in my hands, there is the familiar scent of her perfume that fills all my senses, and for one minute, I consider putting the thing where it belongs¡­the fucking dustbin. Thest thing I need to be reminded of is her scent and then, on top of that, listen as her words are whispered in my ears. She does not deserve that kind of attention from any part of my body. Ana does not even deserve a fucking rise of nothing from this man that only hates her.Ccontent ? exclusive by N?/vel(D)ra/ma.Org. But perhaps she deserves five minutes to give me the answers to the questions that have been haunting me each night when I try to close my eyes and find one moment of peace from everything that has gone so wrong. So perhaps, yes, maybe¡­but only for five fucking minutes will she deserve my attention. And as I finally have the letter firm in my hands, I take thatst sip of my coffee and the rest of the pride and anger that fills my heart¡­ ¡°Dear Ethan¡­ I know that if you are reading this, it must have taken you days to get to that decision. I really do not me you for hating me as much as you are hating me right now. And if it has taken you the time that I think it must have, then I know that you are somewhere near Baghdad and that you will be heading off into the unknown. Now I know that no part of you are going to believe this, but I really wish you good luck and for your safe return. Lucas needs you more than ever, for god knows he does not need his mother, not after the stunt that she has pulled. But if you give me just five minutes, then I want to tell you what and however stupid it might be, but I need for you to understand why I had to walk away and perhaps that you will understand. But before Iy my misery upon you, I want to say that I really did not intend for any of this to happen. I did not want to leave you or Lucas, but I had to; I had to give you two boys a better future than you would ever have had with me. So, my story is perhaps a sad one for which you will not care, but it is a story that has given me nothing other than heartache the moment I discovered that it would be a part of my life. You see, there is something ugly out there that happens to the best of us. One day we find ourselves sitting faced with the biggest word that we will evere to understand in our life. And let me be honest with you, I still do not understand its purpose and the grip that it has in my life. All I know is that I hate being myself more now than I have ever done. I was human before this, you might not believe that, but I was a different Ana before this had happened to me. It happens when you do not expect it. It is like that unknown mission that you go on, and you have no clue how it is going to y out. You can say that I have been going on this unknown mission of my life for years, even years before I had met you. But at least it was not a mission I had to endure before I met Mark. I fucking regret everying my eyes on any of the Jenkins brothers. They ruined me. Not only for you but also for the one person that I was waiting for my whole life¡­ They took me from my son even before I had the chance to meet him. You see, there is something out there that monsters and apparently people are made of. I am made of that monster whom you saw me turn into; I am that person that you do not let your children near, not even for this five minutes that it is taking you to read this. The thing is Ethan, I have¡­¡± Then there is a very concerned Ray standing over me with a smile that is full of sorrow. ¡°Come, you can finish thatter.¡± And with that, I wipe the tears that I did not know I was crying out loud. Chapter 231 Out In The Kill Zone As I slowly flutter open my eyes, I can hear the distinct sound of chatter of excited Marines outside of my tent. Today is the day; for the past few days, we have been building up to this moment. These are the days that all Marines train and most definitely live for. It is the 23rd of March. 04:45 I have chosen to sleep in just for fifteen minutes. Just the fifteen minutes that I need to get my head into the game. Ray has begged me not to go out with the squad this morning, but he knows that it is futile to even argue. This will be myst deployment for a while, and god knows I want to make it count. That means sitting on the sidelines and listening to the actioning through on radio is definitely not an option. I want, when I tell my son why I was not there in the early stages of his life, I want to tell him that I was out there making a difference. I need to do this not only for me but for him. Though, definitely not for his mother. I have not heard from Ana since I have been in this god forbidden desert. Apart from her letter that has remained unfinished, I have not thought of her again. Yes, it does sound that I am heartless, but the fact is that I have given up on the woman. There is nothing that she can say to me that will make me feel any different. Not a letter. Not a text. Not a call. I am done with her. All I want is to get this mission over and get my ass back home. So as I stretch each muscle to a perfect twitch into my uniform, I leave the tent with somewhat excitement and anticipation. Perhaps feeling as on top of the world as I should be seen as a little arrogant, but I believe that we already have this one in the bag. We are merely going through the routine and having the fun that goes along with it. 05:00 I walk with a big and rather bright smile into the ops tent, where Ray is eagerly awaiting me with a much-needed cup of coffee. I only but smile at him as I take it from his hand and take my ce around the big round table that is holding nothing but a map. Then as Gibbs finally makes his appearance, Ray clears his throat and looks from one to the other very determined face that surrounds the table, ¡°Boys, this is going to be an easy one. We are going in and out, routine, nothing funny. We are so close to the end of this thing; let us make this onest difference.¡± There is a unified ¡°Oorah¡± that fills to every corner of the tent. 05:15 We are going through the final instructions onest time as the rest of the Marines are lining up outside to be sent on their way as well. The anticipation in the tent has grown to a new time high, and you can feel the tension that is building under the skin of your fellow Marine. This is do or die. Today we make that final difference before we dere this war as over. We have been stuck out in this country for far too long, and far too many have lost their lives. Today is the final stretch, and dare it even say, it is that final stretch to freedom. So as we all make our way outside the ops tent, we are faced with a sight that we wish those at home could behold. Rows upon rows of Marines are standing and waiting for Ray to address them. They, too, are just as ready as us to get out there and do this thing. Yes, perhaps after this, we won¡¯t deploy so soon again, but each deployment is just as important as the other. Though, today, we are finding this one just a tad bit more than normal. This is what is going to count. This is what is going to matter. This will shape our lives and our careers as Marines. Honor. Courage. Commitment. We do not stop. We do not surrender. And we leave no man behind. And that is what drives every single one of us as we listen to Ray speak, ¡°Boys, I am not going to say much. But¡­ We do this once. We do this right. And we alle back home with one fucking fight. Let us show these bitches what the Marine Corp is made of, and we get this over and done with once and for all. Do I hear you now?¡± ¡°Oorah.¡± The ground erupts in vibration as the voices carry their way through the wind. 05:30 Gibbs and I make our way to the very front of the pack to lead the 18-vehicle convoy, which consists of 31 soldiers. There is a total of 18 transport vehicles which range from Humvees to HEMTTs. Just before we climb into the first of the Humvees, Gibbs turns to me and smiles, ¡°Now let us try to get you home in one piece.¡± I only but burst out at him in a fit of uncontrobleughter, ¡°Hey, let us try to get you one of those nurses before we go home.¡± ¡°Nah, I think I will pass on that one. I think that we have established that the nurses in the Corps are a bit on the crazy side.¡± Though as he says this, he immediately stops, but I only wave him off and chuckle, ¡°Ya, I have to agree with you there. But then again, I think that all woman is a bit on the crazy side.¡± But who am I trying to convince here? Gibbs or me? I honestly do not know, but what I do is that she is clouding my mind, and she is not even in my life anymore. For now, and for the next immediate future, I need her to be gone. If anything will kill me today, well, then that is just the thought of Ana. So as I slide my finger over that envelope that is still tucked in my pocket, I push her to the very back and bottom of my mind. I need to get out here today for my son, not the woman who left us behind. I feel that if there is anything that should be left behind today on, then it is her. 05:45 We are on well on to our destination. The mood is still, and there is the cheer of a song that is going around. I can almost say that we feel on top of the world. 05:55 We continue on route. Gibbs and I are behind the front Humvee ahead, but just as we get ready to settle for the drive, next, there is a radio thates from the front. ¡°Sir, we have missed the turn.¡± I watch as Gibbs¡¯s eyes grow wide, yet I take the radio from him and continue to answer, ¡°What do you mean we have missed the turn?¡± ¡°Sir, we should have turned a few miles back, and there is no way to turn around.¡± ¡°What?¡± My voice echoes to a deafening height. ¡°What the fuck now?¡± ¡°Sir, we will have to make our way through Nisiriyah.¡± ¡°By god Marine, if we encounter trouble, then I am having your ass.¡± ¡°Sir, it should be no problem.¡±N?velDrama.Org owns this text. With that, I nearly chuck the radio to the back side of the Humvee as I look over to a very nervous Gibbs. Now, do we radio this to Ray or y this one out on our own? ¡°What do we do?¡± I listen as Gibbs feels slightly confused. ¡°Let just regroup and take it from here. There should be no problems in Nisiriyah. We are probably just going to piss off the locals, but I am sure that is it.¡± ¡°Fuck, I hope that you are right.¡± 06:00 The convoy is approaching Nisiriyah. I can feel the terror grow between the Marines, but not one is brave enough to question both Gibbs or my choice to push ahead. But just as we pass through the northern outskirts of the city, we get radio from ahead once again. ¡°Sir, we have a problem.¡± I, immediately beyond control, snap back at him, ¡°What the fuck now?¡± ¡°Sir, I think we are lost.¡± ¡°What the fuck do you mean that we are lost?¡± ¡°Sir, the street names are not clearly visible. I think we have missed another turn.¡± ¡°My god! Just wait there; we are turning around.¡± 06:30 After asking the entire convoy toe to a halt, Gibbs and I proceed to turn around and head towards the road that we have only just passed. Patiently waiting for the entire convoy to turn, we slowly head towards the road to make a left turn. 06:45 As we take a turn left¡­ All hell breaks loose¡­ Frompletely fucking nowhere, we are hit with sporadic fire from a source and direction that not one of us can determine. Gibbs immediately gets onto the radio to Ray to give him an update of what has happened. While he tries to get his word through the constant snapping of bullets against the shell of the Humvee, I give the wheel over to Williams. With one deep breath, I stop for a brief moment before I rise myself through the hole to man the gun, but just as I want to stick my head into the open air, I hear a bullet sing past my ear. My back snaps to the back, and I nearly fall with my ass t on the Humvee¡¯s floor. Gibbs looking to mend this fucked up situation that has just erupted,es to my rescue, but I only push him away. ¡°I have got this. Just get us the fuck out of here.¡± Then, as I finally slide my head into the open, I see the enemy¡¯s vehicles starting to shadow the convoy. It seems like they are fucking surrounding us. This does not go unnoticed by a very nervous Williams that does not know what direction to go next. Then¡­ It just gets fucking worse. The convoy breaks off. With the attempt to get away from the approaching enemy and the fire that is continuing to hit us with force, we find ourselves off in three groups heading south to get out of Nisiriyah again. We are officially ambushed. 07:00 We are still taking fire from a location unknown. Our only option here is to get out as fast as we can. The bullets areing in sporadic, and being out there manning the gun is not an option. It is a fucking death wish. So I have taken a seat behind the wheel again. Next to us, we have a HEMMT trying to shield us from rounds of small-arms fire,mortarrounds, and tank gunfire. It is fucking chaos. Next to me, I have Gibbs on the radio to Ray to give him an up-to-the-second update. I can hear his panicked voicee the radio directly at me, ¡°Get the fuck out of the Ethan!¡± ¡°I am trying, Ray. I am fucking trying. They are everywhere, and we were not prepared for a battle. We are not enough for this battle. Get a fucking Cobra or two out here now!¡± ¡°They are gearing up now. Just hang in there.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know how much longer we can hang in.¡± Then next to me, I hear the very fucking word that I did not want to hear, ¡°Iing.¡± Gibbs yells at the top of his voice as he spots a missileing from the distance. I grab the wheel of the Humvee firm and yank it with all my might to the right, just missing the damn thing by an inch of an inch, but it only goes smack right through the HEMTT that were trying to shield us from the very damn thing. ¡°Fuck! The goddamn bastards. How is the rest doing?¡± 07:15 Gibbs radios into the Humvee that was leading Group One. Much to my relief, they have managed to get unscathed out of Nisiriyah. Next, he gets hold of Group Two which seems to have made it safely out of the kill zone too. Now it is only us. Chapter 232 The Mended Soldier 07:30 I have just watched two Humvees from our group swerve off the road and crash as they attempted to avoid the iing fire from the enemy. Gibbs is desperately trying to make contact to confirm if all is alive. Right now, everything looks bleak as we are surrounded by more enemy than what we can handle. But as I look past Williams to the other side of the road, I can see a truck that has been crushed by one of the enemy¡¯s tanks. There I can sadly say, if they were not fast enough to get out and avoid enemy fire as well, then they are all gone. There seems by the radio that doese in and from what we can see between the chaos around us, only three remaining vehicles. We are sitting ducks. And this pond is far too big for us to navigate around in. Is this how it is going to end for this small group of Marines? Were we, in fact, too arrogant and too at ease when we set on this mission? This is not how I want my life toe to an end. Needless to say, not even my career as a Marine. I do not want to be known as the group of Marines and Soldiers that missed a turn-off and got ughtered in return. This is not how I want to leave a legacy. This is definitely not how I want the story of my life to be told to my son. I am not going to die in this fucking shithole of a city. I cannot, and I will not. I need to get these Marines out of here while we still have a fighting chance. So with that newfound urgency that I only seem to get when I am nearly about to fucking die, I look at Gibbs, ¡°We need to set up a perimeter until we can get Marines in here to get us out of here. Gibbs, radio the rest of the guys at the back while I get hold of Ray.¡± With that, I get onto the radio with Ray, ¡°Ray, we need those damn Cobra¡¯s here. All the other guys are out. It is just two Humvees and one HEMTT. We are going to get ourselves off in a corner so that we do not have anyone at our back. Just get someone out here.¡± Rayes crackling back over the radio with a rather relieved voice, ¡°Thank god, I thought you guys were out. I am sending in a fresh group of Marines now. Just hang in there until we can get there. There should be another group of tankers moving in just as we speak to get the fire off you guys and look for some of Group Two that had to bail out of their vehicles.¡± ¡°What? Do you want to tell me that there are Marines on foot in here?¡± ¡°Yes, unfortunately so, but you guys can¡¯t go looking for them. Just hang in there; the cavalry will be there soon.¡± ¡°Make it fucking sooner.¡± With that, I drop the radio and listen to Gibbs as he directs the rest of our group down a small street with a dead-end at the bottom. From a distance, we watch as two tankerse in from the north side of the City. ¡°Well, am I guessing that is the cavalry?¡± ¡°Fuck,¡± Gibbs gasps as he looks in the same direction, ¡°I bloody well hope not so.¡± ¡°Ya, cause then we are fucked.¡± ¡°Hey, you better watch that mouth of yours.¡± ¡°I will start watching it as soon as I get our asses out of here alive.¡± 08:00 We are safely pushed off on a side street as the gun battle has now moved mainly to a set of two more tanks that have joined the others. Though sadly we are still taking fire, I have crazily enough manned the machine gun again and are now taking aim at anything that seems like they are making their way into our direction. With each jolt that the rapid-fire send through my body, I count the seconds that I am closer to getting home. I must honestly say that this is still, and how fucked up it does sound, but this is still the best feeling in the world. Perhaps we did note out here to make a difference in this way, but hey, I do not think that this ambush was nned. I guess they just saw using, being lost and all, and took advantage of the moment. So, yes, this is not a proud moment, but the only aim now is to get these men home. As from what I have gotten news from Ray, we have had eleven Marines that have been killed; we, unfortunately, can¡¯t ount for six and have several that are severely wounded. That means not a single one of the men here is getting a hair harmed on their heads. There has been enough carnage for the day. We need to get out of here. And it is only that thought that consumes me as I keep pumping rapidly towards any moving thing that does not look like a Marine or a Marine vehicle itself. We cannot do what we do best. We cannot go out there and fight, so we will do what we do second best¡­We do not leave a man behind. We will not be left behind today. And that is what definitely gets pressed firm into my head as I watch a Marine tankere towards us with a Cobra hovering above head. There, much to anybody able to help themselves, there is an ¡°Oorah¡± that flows from the mouth of every relieved man in the Humvee. As they finally pull up in front of us, I step down from where I was manning the machine gun and make the very bold move to step outside of the Humvee to go greet who will always be seen as our savior. Much to my shock, I watch as Ray sticks his head through the hole and looks at me with a dumbfounded look on his face, ¡°Get the fuck back into that Humvee. Have you got a damn death wish?¡± I only but chuckle at him as I get back behind the wheel of the Humvee just as a group of two more tankses to join us. 08:30 We are tucked in the middle with three tankers and a HEMTT surrounding us, taking us to safety from what will be a day that neither one of these Marines will forget. This has, as with every other mission that I have gone on, it has reminded me of how quickly your life can change in an instant. How what you value the most in your life gets taken away. I think, in a way, I should be learning a lesson from this, well, maybe for once and for all? But then again, I am not done learning lessons yet. Though ones like these where death stares you in the face might not happen so soon again, there are other lessons that I definitely wille and have learned. The thing, though, is, what do I do about the lessons that I have learned and have turned out the same every time? Do I do it again and hope that there is a different ending? Do I really want to put myself through a world of pain again? What I do need to remind myself is that is sometimes things just don¡¯t change and that I need to make peace with that. Which I think, in a way, I have already made my peace with. Perhaps that is why I still have not read the rest of this letter that has not even felt like it is burning a hole in my pocket. All I know is that I have a son to think of now, and I need to realize that what is good for him is the only thing that matters. That sometimes, what I want will need to be put aside. But¡­ I am soon ripped from my thoughts as we hit the open road again, clear out of the chaos that has just erupted in a City that I will never forget. At least, this time, we did not lose as many Marines as we had in Fallujah, but something gives me the idea that we are not going to let this attack just go unpunished. We will go back to get our revenge. Perhaps not me, but we are going to return to this City and show them that we did not run away; we just want to recharge our batteries ande return the hospitality that we received. I am always going to be a Marine. I am always going to love this life. I will be back one day. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not the next deployment. But I will be back one day. Though back to now, after the happiest drive of my entire life, we get to camp where most of the other Marines are waiting for us. The very moment we step outside of the Humvee, there is a cheer that fills the air. We did not kill many of the enemy, but we stood our ground, and we got out of there alive. I highly doubt and not that I wish to think that it is the decisions that I have made, but if we did not go hide in that little corner away from a greater attack, then we would not be standing here to tell that story. Now what one should not get wrong, and what I should rephrase, we did not hide; we just found a more tactical advanced spot to return the best effort that we could in the battle. And that is why we are now faced with a group of over the hundred Marines that only has one word that binds us together. ¡°Oorah.¡± 17:00C¨°ntens bel0ngs to N?(v)elDr/a/ma.Org I am once again in the quiet of my tent. The excitement has now calmed down, and I am beyond exhausted. Though I do now have that urge to read the rest of what Ana had to say. But as I said before, do I want to do this to myself? Do I want this for my son? I don¡¯t think so. I will return home, and perhaps I might even really leave that letter behind here and forget that it and she ever existed. I owe that to my heart. I am tired of being a broken man. Fuck, I am a broken soldier, and that I have proven over again. But a broken man? That I never want to be, especially when ites to a man that needs to be a father. Ana was a time of my life when I was trying to find myself. Going home the way I did after my first ident was a very hard and trying time for me. And I guess that, in a way, I walked into the rtionship with her far too quickly, for I knew I was broken, and I was looking for something to make me whole so desperately that I was not truly thinking straight. The thing about my rtionship with her, she did not only hurt me once, but she also did it more than one too many times. I am sure she has her reasons for why she did the way she did things, but there is one thing, just one thing that she should have never done. She should have never left her son. And that¡­ That is why I will not open the rest of this letter. That is why I will not forgive her. I am happy to be a single dad. I am happy to be single for the rest of my goddamn life, for I have the only thing that matters anything in the world. Lucas. I will always be a broken soldier. But today, I be mended. Chapter 233 Epilogue ¡°I told you to stop phoning me, Ethan.¡± With nothing but a huff, I clench the phone tighter, and without trying to sound too annoyed, I speak once again, ¡°But, I just wanted¡­¡± ¡°No buts, Ethan. You have phoned six times already, and it is only 10:00 am. Do you not have something better to do?¡± ¡°Not at this very pressing moment. So please can I¡­?¡± ¡°No, I said no. You are not waking him up again just to say hello.¡± ¡°But mom,e on¡­¡± ¡°I said no!¡± With the vibration of her voice still ringing in my ear, my mom drops what would be the fifth call I have made unnecessary down in my ear. The phone finds its way very firmly to the other side of the ops tent, only but barely missing the head of Gibbs. ¡°Hey! What the fuck, man? Do you want to kill me?¡± I only but grunt at him as I catch the returning phone, ¡°My mom does not want me to speak to Lucas.¡± ¡°Well, perhaps because you have phoned her like six times today.¡± ¡°I just¡­fuck! I still don¡¯t know if I have made the right decision toe back so soon.¡± ¡°It has been a year, Ethan, and your mom is there for Lucas. I don¡¯t see why not¡± ¡°Ya, I know, but he is growing up so damn fast now. Lucky I caught him saying dadda before I left. You know how fucked off I would have been with myself if I did not get to hear it.¡± ¡°Hey, you are a good father. You have done better than everyone thought you would. I mean with that¡­¡± I immediately stop him from saying another word, for I know exactly where he is going, and I do not want to listen to him going on about it again. The first three months were fucking hard. Not trying to say her name or thinking about her was probably more difficult than it was being a single dad. I think I always knew that it would be harder to get over her once I had finally made that decision to push her to the back of what existed in my world. Yes, I should have also perhaps even taken the time to open that envelope to find the true reason why she had decided to leave Lucas and me behind at such a crucial stage in both our lives. But I told myself that day that I would not do it to myself and, most of all, to my son. So I left that envelope for days untouched in that drawer. The more the days went by, the easier it was to ignore that it existed. There were days that I finally stopped thinking of it altogether. I was happy that I never knew the reasons behind her betrayal, and funny yet sadly enough, she never tried to contact me or try to see Lucas. She has be a name that no one dares to mention and a topic that I definitely hate to bring up in any discussion. Yes, the woman that I once thought was the stars in my lonely sky has be nothing but a bad memory that I have swept away and tucked far away in my mind. The divorce went through; god knows how thewyer found her, for I never even asked, and as for getting custody of my son, well, that was far too easily given. I would have thought that she would try to hang on to the one thing that gave her so much joy at one stage in her life. But then I started to ask myself the very question, did Ana ever love Lucas? Was she really so excited that she was going to be a mom? Well, guess there I said her name. Now, if I had a ss of whiskey, I would have shot for being so foolish to sit and be thinking of her. I guess being back here out on enemy lines has brought that sense of wonder of what it is that should be important in your life. All I know what is important is that little giggle that is on the other side of this phone that I am finding very hard to use to make another call. So before I phone my mom again, I look at Gibbs that hase to relieve me from my duties for the next few hours. ¡°Well, I am going to go get a few hours of sleep.¡± Gibbs only butughs at me as he points to my phone, ¡°Don¡¯t lie. You are going to phone your mom.¡± ¡°I think at this stage; she is going to ignore my calls.¡± With that, I spin on my heels and make my way towards the exit, but not before I turn back and smile at Gibbs, ¡°But that does not mean that I can send her a message.¡± ¡°She is going to fucking kill you. Now get out of here. We heading outter this afternoon.¡± I only but nod at him as he waves me off, yet, I nce at him once more, ¡°Fuck, I can¡¯t wait to go blow some things up.¡± And as I make my way down the dirt path towards my tent, I can hear him stillughing out loud, ¡°You are fucking crazy!¡± Ya, I am indeed crazy. But it is crazy that got me here where I am walking right now. It took a lot of convincing and a few words of encouragement, but Gibbs and I made that long walk over to the recruitment offices again with the firm intention of joining the Rayders for sure that time around. A yearter, we find ourselves on a special ops mission under none other than Ray as two of the best goddamn Rayders they have today. I can say that the satisfaction was great to have achieved that one more thing in my life that I was dreaming of. Yes, the fact that I had to share that by myself did haunt me for days, and once that feeling subsided, I started to feel the guilt for wanting to go off on deployment and leave Lucas alone. But after endless conversations with Lisa, wife of Gibbs, I started to feel less bad and more excited at the uing deployment that will sadly take us away for nearly three months. My mom has been absolutely amazing with Lucas as she and my dad moved into the little house just across the road from where I live now. After I returned from deployment thest time around, I could not bear living in the same house where there were memories of Ana. Ray got us a great little home that is absolutely just perfect for Lucas and me in a far more secure part of Pendleton. Yes, I have be somewhat paranoid that one day she wille and take Lucas away. I know that she would never be that mean, but then she has proven herself to be a lot of other things, things that I would not even call any woman. I guess that hatred in my heart is still very much alive. And what else is very much alive is the fact that I brought that goddamn envelope with me. I find myself taking it from home to wherever I go. Do I think that there wille a moment of weakness that I will take it out? Yes, I have found them many times as the dreams of darkness that the battlefield has broughte to haunt me at night still. But never have I gone as close to opening it as I am feeling right at this very moment. What if I realize that I have pushed her away for a year for all the wrong reasons? What if there is truly something wrong and I have decided to look the other way? What if she needed me, and I just did not care? There are so many what-ifs that I can y out in my head, but I will stille to the same answer¡­ What I have done for Lucas and me was the right decision. Nothing¡­ But nothing¡­ There is nothing that Ana can say that will change my mind. And perhaps, yes, here, now where I am back at camp, perhaps this is the right time to finally close this chapter. I should have done this a year ago. I should have freed my mind from this torture. I guess¡­ Here it goes¡­ Sliding my hand underneath my jacket, I find the pocket where I have been holding it secure. With a deep breath, I sit back onto the bed and bit hard down onto my lip. There is a strange, unfamiliar feeling that creeps up my spine. Am I feeling nervous? Or am I even slightly anticipating some sort of excitement? Only pushing these feelings to the depths of my heart, I flip the envelope open and slide out the piece of paper. Strange that after a year, I can still smell her perfume on it. It brings back so many memories of me snuggling my nose in the crook of her neck when I pulled her deep into the embrace of my arms. I cannot feel these feelings. I cannot fall back into Ana. So pulling the sides of the paper, I open itpletely. For the second time, I swallow deep and start to read it once again¡­ ¡°Dear Ethan¡­ I know that if you are reading this, it must have taken you days to get to that decision. I really do not me you for hating me as much as you are hating me right now. And if it has taken you the time that I think it must have, then I know that you are somewhere near Baghdad and that you will be heading off into the unknown. Now I know that no part of you are going to believe this, but I really wish you good luck and for your safe return. Lucas needs you more than ever, for god knows he does not need his mother, not after the stunt that she has pulled. But if you give me just five minutes, then I want to tell you what and however stupid it might be, but I need for you to understand why I had to walk away and perhaps that you will understand. But before Iy my misery upon you, I want to say that I really did not intend for any of this to happen. I did not want to leave you or Lucas, but I had to; I had to give you two boys a better future than you would ever have had with me. So, my story is perhaps a sad one for which you will not care, but it is a story that has given me nothing other than heartache the moment I discovered that it would be a part of my life. You see, there is something ugly out there that happens to the best of us. One day we find ourselves sitting faced with the biggest word that we will evere to understand in our life. And let me be honest with you, I still do not understand its purpose and the grip that it has in my life. All I know is that I hate being myself more now than I have ever done. I was human before this, you might not believe that, but I was a different Isabe before this had happened to me. It happens when you do not expect it. It is like that unknown mission that you go on, and you have no clue how it is going to y out. You can say that I have been going on this unknown mission of my life for years, even years before I had met you. But at least it was not a mission I had to endure before I met Mark. I fucking regret everying my eyes on any of the Jenkins brothers. They ruined me. Not only for you but also for the one person that I was waiting for my whole life¡­ They took me from my son even before I had the chance to meet him. You see, there is something out there that monsters and apparently people are made of. I am made of that monster whom you saw me turn into; I am that person that you do not let your children near, not even for this five minutes that it is taking you to read this. The thing is, Ethan, I have¡­¡± And as with the time before, I pause as there starts to run a stream of unwanted tears down my face again. Only shaking my head to rid myself of the emotions, I take a sip of the water from the bottle that I have been clenching in my hand. Then¡­ ¡°The thing is, Ethan, I have BiPr. I do not know how to describe to you what it is, for it is not the same for every person. What I can say to you is that it makes mepletely a messed-up person. Before I met you, I waspletely out of control. It was so bad that I spent weeks and weeks from one institution to another. I would love to say that you were the reason why I did calm down a little bit, but unfortunately, I have to say that it was only the medication. I was good for a year, a year I controlled that demon that makes fall apart. But I just could not, for what reason beyond me I do not know, but I thought that if I kept taking that medication while I was carrying Lucas, that in some way, I would imprint this monster into his genes as well. Do you have any idea how I fear that our son will be what I have been for so many years now? I lived with the tormented dreams every night as I felt him wiggle around. I just could not bear the thought of ruining his life as I have ruined mine. And I guess if I stay away, perhaps he would not see how to awaken that beast if it is inside of him. The Doctor has told me to endless frustration that Lucas will be a normal boy and that I should not nt these awful ideas in my head. Those very same awful ideas were what made me want to take your son away from you and never to return. But¡­¡± For another second, I pause as the shock is the only thing that consumes me now. Never, but never did I think that this would be a reason behind all of this? I do not know what BiPr is, but god, can it be such a terrible thing for a mother to leave her son?C¨°ntens bel0ngs to N?(v)elDr/a/ma.Org Yet, nothing but nothing can be an excuse to leave your family behind. I need to remind myself of that, even if I might feel sorry for Ana. Yet, I take another sip of water and continue to read¡­ ¡°So, Ethan, I don¡¯t know, and if you have, I will say thank you that you have read this. You have always been a stubborn man, and that is what I admired about you the most. Ethan, I am not the woman that you need in your life, and neither am I the mom that our little bump deserves to have around. All I want for you is to understand that I did try, but I just could not do it. I am not made, mentally most of all, to be a mother and most of all the wife that you two boys should have in your lives. All I ask of you is to look after Lucas and make him into the amazing man that you are. Andst, of all, I ask you to please, please never try to look for me. Give Lucas a kiss for me. Yours always in your heart. Ana¡­¡± Well, what do I say now? Where do I go from here? Is the life that I have built with my son the right one that we should live? Should I ignore Ana¡¯sst request as I always used to ignore what she told me to do, doing the exact opposite? I will say this again. I am not a broken man. I have healed so much over this year. I cannot be broken again. I chose my son. I chose to stay healed. I am not a broken soldier, nor am I a broken man. And I am not going to start being one today, so what do I do? I crumple up that note and shove it back into that envelope until, maybe one day, I will act upon an instinct, but for now¡­ The Novel will be updated first on this website. Come back and continue reading tomorrow, everyone!